WEBVTT 00:04.936 --> 00:07.800 Yeah, that's the Foo Fighters with No Way Back. 00:07.940 --> 00:13.627 That is the fourth single to be taken from the group's fifth album, In Your Honour. 00:13.728 --> 00:14.629 Oh, too many numbers. 00:14.709 --> 00:15.630 I'm tired already. 00:16.448 --> 00:18.969 This is Adam and Joe here on XFM this Saturday afternoon. 00:19.189 --> 00:25.392 Now you can help us with some technical business listeners this afternoon, because we've been having some problems with our microphones in the studio. 00:25.972 --> 00:32.595 And apparently, Joe's microphone possibly might not be working if you're listening to us digitally. 00:32.615 --> 00:33.055 Digitally. 00:33.355 --> 00:33.735 Is that correct? 00:33.755 --> 00:33.875 Yes. 00:33.895 --> 00:37.077 So if you're listening to this show on a DAB, what does that stand for? 00:37.777 --> 00:38.197 Digital. 00:38.257 --> 00:40.138 Digital and business. 00:40.278 --> 00:41.059 Digital and business. 00:41.599 --> 00:47.922 Then just, and you can't hear me properly, you'll probably hear me through Adam's mic, right, quieter and more ambient. 00:48.222 --> 00:52.664 Give us a text, let us know, because apparently there's been this technical problem at XFM for three weeks. 00:53.584 --> 00:56.527 and no DJ has actually had the idea of asking the listeners. 00:56.928 --> 00:58.029 We're the first- we came up with it. 00:58.089 --> 00:58.669 Yeah, we care. 00:58.729 --> 01:00.151 We break through that wall. 01:00.311 --> 01:00.551 Yeah. 01:01.012 --> 01:03.915 So if you can't hear us properly and you're listening on DAB, please text us. 01:03.935 --> 01:05.296 The text is 83XFM. 01:05.857 --> 01:06.898 And that's it. 01:06.918 --> 01:09.360 We've got great stuff coming up in the next two hours. 01:09.380 --> 01:12.483 We've got a crap commentary competition, which is really good this week. 01:12.724 --> 01:13.304 Is it a tough one? 01:13.344 --> 01:14.105 Yeah. 01:14.225 --> 01:15.086 Well, it's not tough. 01:15.146 --> 01:15.627 It's just funny. 01:15.827 --> 01:16.287 Yeah, good. 01:16.347 --> 01:16.508 Yeah. 01:17.168 --> 01:32.090 so stay tuned for that and we've got loads of great music coming through your gaff into your radio box your ruddy radio box are you trying to be tommy vance i'm like the guy from the e4 promos isn't that tommy vance into your ruddy gaff i think tommy vance is dead man oh 01:32.671 --> 01:33.372 I think he died. 01:33.652 --> 01:35.274 They've got another guy that sounds like him. 01:35.374 --> 01:38.837 If he's not dead, I'm really sorry, Tommy Vance, but I think he is. 01:39.377 --> 01:40.619 So may he rest in peace. 01:41.639 --> 01:43.822 Yeah, music coming up from the Stereophonics. 01:44.562 --> 01:45.583 Well, some people like them. 01:45.603 --> 01:48.266 The Stereophonics, The Charlatans, Dirty Pretty Things, Radiohead. 01:49.066 --> 01:49.727 Uh, awesome. 01:50.107 --> 01:50.627 Is that new? 01:50.887 --> 01:52.988 This band is tipped for huge success in 2005. 01:53.868 --> 01:57.090 Editors, Goldfrapp, all the usual brilliant bands. 01:57.370 --> 01:59.731 And a few, uh, nuggets from our own vaults as well. 01:59.871 --> 02:01.912 Ditty's in the Dot coming up, it's country and western this week. 02:02.252 --> 02:02.713 Wow! 02:02.913 --> 02:09.276 We've got a text competition, we're gonna talk about all sorts of stuff, like a couple of miserable old twats, like we usually do. 02:09.656 --> 02:11.597 Nicely mangled bit of profanity there, man. 02:11.617 --> 02:11.937 Thank you. 02:12.397 --> 02:13.738 Um, I think that might actually be ruder. 02:13.918 --> 02:15.939 That was, yeah, it sounds a bit ruder the way you said it. 02:16.719 --> 02:18.980 Did you say something about, um, Coco Pop Straws there? 02:19.100 --> 02:37.304 Yeah, um, we'd like to also apologise to anybody who's emailed in the last four weeks, cos the email system has been down, part of XFM's massive technical breakdown that's now over and it's emerging from Phoenix-like, er, you know, with all sorts of new-fangled equipment, um, but we haven't been able to read the emails. 02:37.944 --> 02:45.870 And I was just looking through the 1,157 we've got, most of which are internal warnings and cautions from various radio authorities. 02:46.350 --> 02:49.432 But one of them said that Coco Pop Straws might be banned. 02:50.093 --> 02:50.353 Really? 02:50.393 --> 02:50.713 And why? 02:50.733 --> 02:51.914 This is allegedly, I can't confirm that. 02:51.934 --> 02:53.636 Well, I'll have to go back to the mail and read it. 02:53.736 --> 02:55.897 Right, because we were talking about Coco Pop Straws the other week. 02:55.957 --> 03:00.721 I was curious to know whether any mothers out there had actually followed the... In what sense, mothers? 03:01.581 --> 03:06.563 mothers of children, birth mothers, had followed the implication these days. 03:08.223 --> 03:09.664 Not mofos, just mothers. 03:10.364 --> 03:23.749 Had followed the advice of the commercial, because in the commercial they imply that Coco Pop straws are a good way of encouraging your children to drink more milk, whereas in fact we all know they're just yummy crunchy snacks and they've got nothing to do with milk whatsoever. 03:24.469 --> 03:28.131 Um, they may as well be encouraging you to drink cider, I don't know. 03:28.411 --> 03:32.233 But I was curious as to whether any mothers, um, had actually used them successfully. 03:32.793 --> 03:38.856 But I don't think that anyone in their right mind would drink straw through a Cocoa Pop straw as a way of drinking milk. 03:39.216 --> 03:40.697 Shall I stop talking and play some more music? 03:40.717 --> 03:42.998 Yeah. 03:43.018 --> 03:44.259 Oh, brilliant, it's this one. 03:44.279 --> 03:45.759 A little soft intro, isn't it? 03:45.799 --> 03:47.340 Yeah. 03:47.380 --> 03:50.542 Lucio wouldn't have done a soft intro like that. 03:50.582 --> 03:52.582 He would have gone, it's Jose Gonzalez! 03:52.783 --> 03:53.303 Deal with it! 04:03.795 --> 04:04.155 Oh, sorry? 04:04.976 --> 04:07.457 That was Jose Gonzalez with heartbeats. 04:07.757 --> 04:10.998 So listen, I don't know if anyone out there, uh, enjoys watching telly. 04:11.398 --> 04:12.339 I love watching telly. 04:12.359 --> 04:12.539 Do you? 04:12.679 --> 04:12.979 Yeah. 04:13.159 --> 04:13.619 Oh, great. 04:14.119 --> 04:16.140 Um, because we were on it the other weekend. 04:16.600 --> 04:18.601 Oh, I wish, I wish he- Do you not want to talk about this? 04:18.721 --> 04:19.762 I can talk about it if you want. 04:19.982 --> 04:24.223 We were on Channel 4's, what is it, 100 Funniest- 100 Greatest Funny Moments. 04:24.263 --> 04:25.784 Yeah, I don't know whether anybody saw that. 04:26.024 --> 04:30.686 And if you're a regular listener to the show, you might remember that Adam and I weren't sure whether to go on it. 04:31.166 --> 04:32.527 And we asked the listeners, didn't we? 04:32.907 --> 04:33.347 Yeah, we polled. 04:33.367 --> 04:38.391 And who overwhelmingly encouraged us to be interviewed for the hundred greatest funniest moments. 04:38.631 --> 04:39.452 Yeah. 04:39.572 --> 04:40.773 But what a peculiar show. 04:41.253 --> 04:41.854 Very strange. 04:41.894 --> 04:42.974 What was the criteria? 04:43.979 --> 04:49.681 If you saw that show, listeners, last Sunday night between noon and 3 a.m. 04:49.701 --> 04:53.002 the following week, it seemed to last forever, didn't it? 04:53.062 --> 04:55.222 It lasted about three and a half hours or four hours. 04:55.582 --> 04:57.163 Do you know what the criteria was? 04:57.343 --> 04:58.623 Because it seemed so random. 04:58.643 --> 05:05.305 They had clips from films, they had bits of stand-up, and they had kind of spontaneous prank comedy. 05:06.025 --> 05:09.887 So at the beginning I thought, well, it must be spontaneous improvised comedy. 05:09.927 --> 05:10.787 That's the criteria. 05:11.607 --> 05:17.111 But then they had bits from stand-up routines, which are largely scripted. 05:17.712 --> 05:22.296 Yeah, but I think their criteria was that it had to be something real. 05:22.356 --> 05:24.277 There had to be an element of reality in it. 05:24.758 --> 05:26.059 Oh, what does that mean? 05:26.259 --> 05:30.002 Where's the element of reality in Peter Kay's stand-up routine? 05:30.282 --> 05:32.923 he's standing in front of some human beings. 05:33.063 --> 05:33.303 Yeah. 05:33.503 --> 05:33.864 He's alive. 05:33.884 --> 05:34.384 Well that's rubbish. 05:34.784 --> 05:35.424 I know that's rubbish. 05:35.464 --> 05:36.084 It's getting weird. 05:36.144 --> 05:38.285 Something strange is happening to Channel 4 clip shows. 05:38.485 --> 05:44.168 They've run out of subjects to do so now they're using them as kind of revisionist propaganda tools. 05:44.328 --> 05:49.730 Well it was like a hundred greatest moments from other hundred greatest shows was what it was. 05:49.970 --> 05:50.310 Yeah. 05:50.570 --> 05:55.672 But it did give them an opportunity to slip in some quite cool stuff like the internet stuff I thought was pretty funny. 05:55.712 --> 05:56.893 The Star Wars guy. 05:57.253 --> 05:59.073 that made the criteria even weirder. 05:59.634 --> 06:03.615 I mean, you could do a top 100 internet funny things on their own, couldn't you? 06:03.955 --> 06:13.097 What's the connection between an internet clip and the going up to 11 clip from Spinal Tap or the bit where they feel the dog's nuts in Best in Show? 06:13.657 --> 06:16.818 I suppose they're kind of water cooler moment things, aren't they? 06:16.838 --> 06:18.758 Whatever your theory is, put it into the title. 06:19.118 --> 06:21.859 The 100 Greatest Water Cooler Moments. 06:22.839 --> 06:50.909 yeah but then people might have been confused by what a water cooler moment they wanted to make it as basic as possible funny moments hundred funny moments it was weird man i don't know whether anybody out there understood it better than i did but it was nice to see that your dad is one unit less funny than punked the entire series adam's dad is one unit of channel four's currency whatever it is less uh no less funny than punked yeah punked was uh 70 69 was it i don't i didn't write down the numbers my dad was a number 70 yeah 06:51.849 --> 06:56.853 Dylan Moran live is one unit less funny than the whole of Daisy Donovan's career. 06:56.873 --> 07:01.596 The Napoleon Dynamite dancing scene was at 49. 07:01.837 --> 07:03.778 What was spontaneous about that? 07:03.838 --> 07:08.782 I mean it's dancing so in a way you can't really script dancing but you can choreograph it. 07:09.182 --> 07:11.224 It's just a funny moment it's just a thing isn't it? 07:11.344 --> 07:14.646 Yeah but... It's like when people talk about do you like that bit in that thing? 07:14.666 --> 07:19.870 Yeah but there's so many what about then all the funny bits in all the sitcoms and scripted films and... 07:20.851 --> 07:21.331 I don't know. 07:21.451 --> 07:22.251 Am I being pedantic? 07:22.492 --> 07:27.253 What about Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool, the Mr. T thing they had a clip from at number 45. 07:27.753 --> 07:29.174 Never been shown on UK television. 07:29.294 --> 07:30.834 Only available, like, on bootleg. 07:31.574 --> 07:32.495 Were you upset about that? 07:32.755 --> 07:37.436 Well, if they're going to do bootleg stuff that's not available on telly, then there's millions of brilliant things to show. 07:37.916 --> 07:38.277 Yeah. 07:38.297 --> 07:39.437 Star Wars Holiday Special. 07:39.717 --> 07:41.237 There's a whole... millions. 07:41.257 --> 07:42.658 There's a whole subculture of that stuff. 07:43.078 --> 07:47.602 Well, it was kind of a personal list that some desperate researcher had drawn up, I suppose. 07:47.682 --> 07:52.046 Alex Zane's bits on Balls of Steel are funnier than Best in Show and Spinal Tap. 07:54.248 --> 07:57.051 Well, if you put it like that, it's difficult, isn't it? 07:57.311 --> 08:02.596 You and me, the Adam and Joe show, all four series, were one unit less funny than that fat, sweaty bloke off Pop Idol. 08:02.736 --> 08:03.217 Fair enough. 08:04.045 --> 08:21.984 well I think I think that's fair enough he was amazing I've never seen those but nothing from rock profiles nothing from shooting stars hmm it was weird if anyone out there understood it better than me but to round this rant off I don't know I don't think we'll be going on those again now well we are here I might never go and tell you again 08:22.845 --> 08:24.566 I think you're doing well, Adam, with the It crowd. 08:24.606 --> 08:25.407 Keep up with the acting. 08:25.427 --> 08:26.727 I'm gonna stick behind the camera. 08:26.947 --> 08:27.988 Yeah, I agree. 08:28.008 --> 08:29.609 Television's gone weird. 08:29.649 --> 08:35.372 We spoke for about 45 minutes and wrung our hands and agonized over every word we said and in the end they just used two lines. 08:35.532 --> 08:37.653 They used two of the most arrogant things either of us said. 08:38.514 --> 08:41.416 You just said, well, we were the best thing in takeover TV so we got a series. 08:42.743 --> 08:44.684 Anyway, that's that last you'll see of me. 08:44.904 --> 08:45.745 We've learned our lesson. 08:45.865 --> 08:46.585 We won't do it again. 08:46.705 --> 08:47.426 We promise now. 08:47.466 --> 08:57.411 Here's a free play This is a one of the first singles to be taken from the clap your hands say yeah album last year And I'm really enjoying this album more and more the more I listen to it. 08:57.471 --> 08:58.152 Hope you do, too 09:09.198 --> 09:27.337 that is clap your hands say yeah which is a bad name for a band let's face it don't you think Joe well it's common knowledge that band names are thin on the ground yeah I mean most of the most cops mathematically speaking most most combinations of words have been used do you like making up names for non-existent bands yes I do 09:27.898 --> 09:53.409 it's enjoyable isn't it yeah well when you say something random in conversation you can just add the line that will be a good name for a band yeah exactly on the end and it's just fun isn't it i i was um it's just fun isn't it that no it'd be a bad name for a band the is just fun isn't it the is just fun isn't it yeah anyway that was clap your hands say yeah bad name brilliant band uh that was called in this home on ice this is adam and joe on xfm uh we're gonna play some adverts joe 09:54.009 --> 09:59.012 Yeah, and then after the adverts, listeners were gonna do our crap commentary, competition, or corner, or whatever we call it. 09:59.292 --> 10:01.634 Now you might have noticed it's rather a beautiful day today. 10:01.814 --> 10:02.994 It certainly is in London. 10:03.035 --> 10:05.996 It's cold, but it's lovely and sort of clear and sunny, or it was. 10:06.457 --> 10:08.718 So that means fewer people might be listening. 10:09.238 --> 10:10.519 No, because a lot of people are out. 10:10.679 --> 10:12.700 I was out on London tonight yesterday. 10:13.160 --> 10:21.806 They said, because it's so cold, people are coming into the A&E with nosebleeds because their nasal pastures are getting all dried out and irritated. 10:22.566 --> 10:22.986 And this. 10:23.106 --> 10:24.307 They're getting nosebleeds. 10:24.427 --> 10:25.347 People are coming in. 10:25.387 --> 10:29.108 It's like zombie town out there because of the freezing cold. 10:29.508 --> 10:30.109 I'm telling you. 10:30.149 --> 10:32.369 It's like a nation of toddlers with nosebleeds. 10:32.529 --> 10:35.050 And they're saying to them... Since when do you go to A&E with a nosebleed? 10:35.190 --> 10:36.511 It's frightening getting a nosebleed. 10:36.531 --> 10:38.371 You think your brain's exploded or something. 10:38.772 --> 10:45.254 You know, if you're not prone to nosebleeds normally, suddenly you start, you know, you just think... Depends what sort of a nosebleed... If it's like one of those nosebleeds out of The Fury... 10:45.874 --> 10:46.915 Then that's different. 10:47.075 --> 10:52.357 In movies, it's like, in movies if someone gets a cough, that means they're gonna get a... It's true, and if they get a nosebleed it means they've got an aneurysm. 10:52.397 --> 10:52.858 Exactly. 10:52.878 --> 10:53.158 Doesn't it? 10:53.318 --> 10:54.278 It's very bad. 10:54.298 --> 10:56.099 People never get nosebleeds in films casually. 10:56.400 --> 10:56.660 That's right. 10:56.680 --> 11:00.122 It always means their brain's melted or they've got some sort of Ebola-style virus. 11:00.142 --> 11:00.922 Ebola! 11:01.002 --> 11:01.862 We'll be back shortly. 11:01.882 --> 11:02.483 XFM. 11:03.663 --> 11:04.364 This is XFM. 11:05.284 --> 11:06.905 This is XFM. 11:07.005 --> 11:07.385 XFM. 11:15.742 --> 11:17.083 Love XFM 11:52.742 --> 11:54.143 There we go, the stereophonics. 11:54.183 --> 11:57.144 This is Adam and Joe on XFM, London's 104.9. 11:57.584 --> 12:02.766 Little bit of torture for everyone who doesn't like the stereophonics, but pure pleasure for people who do. 12:03.047 --> 12:04.387 Some delicious balm. 12:04.747 --> 12:05.588 Aural balm. 12:05.788 --> 12:09.209 We haven't had any texts in about the microphone situation, have we? 12:09.429 --> 12:09.810 We have. 12:09.850 --> 12:10.970 Apparently it's A-OK. 12:11.330 --> 12:11.970 Loud and clear. 12:12.051 --> 12:15.732 Thank you very much, all digital audio listeners who texted in. 12:16.292 --> 12:19.414 It's time for a competition now, and it's Crap Commentary Corner. 12:41.627 --> 12:43.296 Go ahead, it's easy. 12:43.778 --> 12:45.366 You can use IMTV. 12:46.499 --> 12:47.600 Many young children are listening. 12:47.660 --> 12:49.261 Crap is not a clever word to use. 12:49.321 --> 12:50.202 Crapity-crap-crap-crap. 12:50.623 --> 12:51.123 Not clever. 12:51.583 --> 12:52.164 Don't copy it. 12:52.264 --> 12:52.704 Crapity-crap. 12:53.645 --> 12:59.250 Um, so it's time for- for Crap Commentary Corner, and this week we've got, uh, quite an easy one. 12:59.650 --> 13:01.612 So stand by your phones. 13:01.632 --> 13:03.153 0-8-7-1-2-2-2-1-0-4-9. 13:03.453 --> 13:07.357 I'll say that again in a second, so grab a pen and paper. 13:07.497 --> 13:07.657 Mm. 13:08.117 --> 13:08.338 Yeah? 13:08.518 --> 13:10.139 You reckon people are gonna get this one pretty easily? 13:10.479 --> 13:10.880 I think so. 13:11.380 --> 13:12.281 Yeah, I don't know. 13:12.461 --> 13:12.841 Who knows? 13:13.181 --> 13:15.483 Now what's the pri- what prizes have we got, Xanthi, this week? 13:15.763 --> 13:17.024 Is it This Life DVDs? 13:17.904 --> 13:21.787 The- the- the 90s- wow, this is from when we were on telly. 13:22.352 --> 13:24.253 I'm so excited about This Life coming out. 13:24.354 --> 13:25.394 Oh, and Ghost in the Shell? 13:25.614 --> 13:26.195 That's more exciting. 13:26.215 --> 13:26.915 Ghost in the Shell 2. 13:27.056 --> 13:30.358 So This Life is for- is a prize for ladies and Adam. 13:30.518 --> 13:31.018 Oh, he's steady. 13:31.038 --> 13:31.719 This Life is amazing. 13:31.739 --> 13:33.200 And Ghost in the Shell is a- oh, I haven't seen this. 13:33.240 --> 13:34.561 Ghost in the Shell 2, Innocence. 13:34.901 --> 13:35.822 Supposed to be brilliant. 13:36.202 --> 13:38.444 I think he- Something to do with Studio Ghibli. 13:38.544 --> 13:46.130 This Life trivia fact, I think Ricky Gervais was responsible for picking a lot of the music, incidental music, that was used on This Life. 13:46.690 --> 13:48.632 It's a little, uh, fact for you, fact fans. 13:49.073 --> 13:50.334 Anyway, shall we play this competition? 13:50.514 --> 13:50.715 Yeah. 13:50.955 --> 13:52.056 So, really good prizes. 13:52.076 --> 13:52.537 0-8-7-1-2-2-2-1-0-4-9. 13:52.557 --> 13:55.040 What's that, Xanthi? 13:55.100 --> 13:55.720 And tickets. 13:56.761 --> 13:57.763 Oh, and tickets as well. 13:58.143 --> 14:01.287 We might give the tickets away for, um... Yeah, we got something else that we might give away. 14:01.947 --> 14:03.189 Anyway, really good prizes. 14:03.829 --> 14:04.890 Here comes clip number one. 14:05.711 --> 14:10.556 So all you have to do is tell me who this director is and what movie he's talking about. 14:11.156 --> 14:22.688 In clip number one, he describes how he kind of wants you to watch his film on DVD and he expects quite a lot from his viewers in these, you know, time-stressed days. 14:22.768 --> 14:23.208 Let's hear it. 14:23.829 --> 14:27.052 This film has really been designed to be watched more than once. 14:27.753 --> 14:37.441 My advice is to watch it once without the commentary, then watch it with the commentary, then watch it again without the commentary. 14:38.062 --> 14:42.465 And each time you watch it, the concept becomes deeper and deeper. 14:44.073 --> 15:02.726 Right and then watch it then throw it away with the commentary Then take it out of the bin without the commentary stamp on it stamp on it with the commentary Yeah, and then again with the commentary you're only saying this because you know the answer and Buxton pop it in your beautiful some people are prejudiced against this director No, and some people are prejudiced against this film. 15:02.786 --> 15:12.753 It really divided people, but you could you had a sneaking admiration for it I do have a sneaking admiration for it, but it lasts over two hours I think so he's asking you to give six hours of your life to 15:13.633 --> 15:14.915 his confused film. 15:15.175 --> 15:15.956 Anyway, no more clues. 15:15.976 --> 15:16.796 Here's clip number two. 15:16.836 --> 15:23.223 So in this clip, the same director is explaining one of the brilliant visual metaphors in his film. 15:23.263 --> 15:29.348 And this is a visual metaphor or basically a metaphor that people may not have thought of before. 15:29.949 --> 15:31.531 OK, the chess game. 15:32.975 --> 15:34.376 The chessboard has many mystical meanings. 15:34.496 --> 15:36.738 The Temple of Solomon was checkered like a chessboard. 15:36.758 --> 15:38.760 64 squares and 32 pieces. 15:39.401 --> 15:42.984 One of my metaphors here is that, essentially, life is a chess game. 15:43.104 --> 15:43.785 Everything's chess. 15:44.165 --> 15:44.906 Chess is everything. 15:45.206 --> 15:46.567 Ultimately, you're only playing yourself. 15:46.747 --> 15:48.909 And the projection is that you're playing on the board. 15:49.149 --> 15:50.731 And the environment is the board. 15:50.971 --> 15:53.313 But if you stay on that board, you'll always remain vulnerable. 15:53.713 --> 15:55.315 I'll talk more about the chessboard as we go along. 15:56.156 --> 15:58.318 Please don't, please shut up about the chessboard. 15:58.719 --> 16:00.300 So wait, I don't understand. 16:01.161 --> 16:06.968 Life is like, yeah, is like the chessboard. 16:07.008 --> 16:07.529 Don't try it. 16:07.909 --> 16:08.410 Don't try it. 16:08.430 --> 16:09.691 Right, clever enough. 16:09.851 --> 16:10.152 Okay. 16:10.712 --> 16:12.012 OK, 0-8-7-1, 2-2-2-1-0-4-9. 16:13.273 --> 16:17.754 If you know who that director is and what movie he's talking about, you can win this life or Ghost in the Shell. 16:17.814 --> 16:18.494 Two Innocents. 16:19.174 --> 16:20.175 Shall we do the third clip? 16:20.415 --> 16:21.235 There's a third clip. 16:21.815 --> 16:22.875 Let's play that afterwards. 16:22.935 --> 16:27.196 Just play some music right now and then we'll get some callers and then we'll play the third clip. 16:27.536 --> 16:28.677 I'm quite excited to hear it. 16:28.957 --> 16:30.177 Now, this is The Charlatans. 16:30.537 --> 16:32.638 Blackened Blue Eyes is the name of the track. 16:33.158 --> 16:36.919 And for Charlatans fans, I'm sure this is a momentous occasion. 16:50.541 --> 16:51.361 That was the Charlatans. 16:51.382 --> 16:53.563 I wasn't laughing at the Charlatans, uh, there. 16:53.583 --> 16:55.244 I was laughing at something Jo just said. 16:55.284 --> 16:57.005 That was called Blackened Blue Eyes. 16:57.025 --> 16:59.446 Uh, now, we have a couple of people on the line. 16:59.466 --> 17:02.228 Can I just let everyone know I've dusted the text, uh, screen. 17:02.248 --> 17:02.808 Oh, well done. 17:02.828 --> 17:04.829 I've just dusted the text screen with a little bit of bog roll. 17:05.009 --> 17:06.070 How dirty is the bog roll now? 17:06.090 --> 17:06.771 It was very dirty. 17:06.791 --> 17:07.091 Really? 17:07.111 --> 17:08.131 Oh, the bog roll is, isn't it? 17:08.151 --> 17:08.752 Yeah, dusty. 17:09.452 --> 17:34.200 so um there you go the text will be coming through all legibly nice and clear so uh you join us in the midst of crap commentary competition we've played you uh a rather haughty sounding director with some um uh you know kind of simplistic uh metaphorical ideas about his his movie uh and we've got a caller on the line have we yeah i think we've got trevor trevor phillips hello hello trevor phillips are you a politician 17:34.975 --> 17:35.876 I'm not, I'm afraid no. 17:35.896 --> 17:36.976 No, the wrong one. 17:36.996 --> 17:37.317 I'm an animator. 17:37.337 --> 17:37.397 Yes. 17:37.417 --> 17:37.657 Kids TV. 17:37.677 --> 17:38.837 The Cram Twins on Cartoon Network. 17:38.858 --> 17:40.058 Probably the best thing I've done. 17:51.095 --> 17:55.599 Man, I thought those things were sort of farmed out to India and places like that. 17:55.639 --> 17:56.620 Yeah, they kind of are. 17:56.640 --> 17:59.863 And then we get them back and we kind of finish it all off. 18:00.103 --> 18:00.343 Really? 18:00.363 --> 18:02.085 You punish them when they go over the lines. 18:02.665 --> 18:02.925 Yeah. 18:03.166 --> 18:03.786 Is that what you do? 18:03.866 --> 18:05.328 Fly over to India and spank them? 18:05.368 --> 18:08.891 Well, I don't get to do that personally, but the director gets to do that. 18:08.931 --> 18:09.972 Man, The Cramped Twins is good. 18:09.992 --> 18:11.413 Do your kids watch The Cramped Twins, Adam? 18:11.673 --> 18:15.176 They haven't got into the Cramp Twins yet, but it's only a matter of time. 18:15.256 --> 18:15.917 I think it is. 18:15.977 --> 18:21.182 My children are about three and a half, so they're a bit young, aren't they, for the Cramp Twins? 18:21.202 --> 18:22.943 What else do you do, Trevor, apart from the Cramp Twins? 18:24.044 --> 18:26.046 Well, that's enough, isn't it? 18:28.479 --> 18:28.859 Well done. 18:28.899 --> 18:30.061 That's a full-time career. 18:30.381 --> 18:31.722 But you don't do it regularly. 18:31.923 --> 18:34.105 You're not what we refer to as a prize pig. 18:34.145 --> 18:36.367 Well, we don't refer to... We don't use that phrase. 18:36.728 --> 18:37.729 We don't use that phrase. 18:38.009 --> 18:40.892 Our old producer Lila used to say, oh, it's this guy again. 18:40.912 --> 18:41.833 He's a prize pig. 18:42.053 --> 18:42.634 Hey, Trevor. 18:43.074 --> 18:47.479 Trevor, we're honored you've called because your fingers bring so much joy to people. 18:48.201 --> 18:49.182 Oh, I'm glad to hear it. 18:49.422 --> 18:49.703 Yeah. 18:50.063 --> 18:54.407 And so, can we play you this third clip just before you make your guess? 18:54.527 --> 18:55.988 Of course, yeah. 18:56.148 --> 18:57.009 Is it more twaddle? 18:57.669 --> 19:00.712 It is more twaddle, but this third clip is twaddle. 19:00.972 --> 19:05.596 I mean, obviously he thinks he's clever to come up with the idea of chess being a metaphor for life. 19:05.656 --> 19:06.878 He thinks that's quite a stretch. 19:07.478 --> 19:10.942 But then, you know, most people have tweaked who this is and what movie it is. 19:11.383 --> 19:18.652 Have a listen to his overarching theory for the colour scheme in the film and the sort of characterisations in the film. 19:18.832 --> 19:21.295 This is the theory that underlines the whole film. 19:21.335 --> 19:22.236 See if you understand this. 19:23.197 --> 19:28.139 There's three columns, green the central column, white is right column, black is left column. 19:28.159 --> 19:30.440 Can you explain that, what that means? 19:30.560 --> 19:32.961 Well, everything manifests in processes of three. 19:32.981 --> 19:38.884 So you've got proton neutral electron, sun, earth, moon, masculine, feminine, child, positive, negative and filament. 19:39.104 --> 19:42.045 White blood cells are mercy, red blood cells are judgment. 19:42.185 --> 19:46.407 All the environments do represent left column or right column energy. 19:46.427 --> 19:48.588 Okay, all right, all right, okay. 19:49.028 --> 20:00.690 so wait masculine feminine child yeah was that those three distinct entities according to this man hey trevor put us put put the listeners out of their misery who haven't realized who it is and let us know your guess 20:01.101 --> 20:03.022 It's Guy Ritchie from Revolver. 20:03.122 --> 20:04.163 Oh yes, correct. 20:05.063 --> 20:07.505 Absolutely, that's the commentary from Guy Ritchie's Revolver. 20:07.565 --> 20:09.306 I think it comes out next week or something. 20:09.886 --> 20:11.247 Well, good. 20:11.287 --> 20:14.708 I got it from a special sneaky shop where they sell things a bit too early. 20:14.869 --> 20:15.709 The Guy Ritchie shop. 20:15.749 --> 20:16.489 The Guy Ritchie shop, yeah. 20:16.509 --> 20:18.350 And in that shop they said it was flying off the shelves. 20:18.370 --> 20:23.613 And if you check out Amazon or one of them websites, people go, people are crazy about it. 20:24.414 --> 20:26.375 Some people think it's the greatest film ever made. 20:26.795 --> 20:28.136 because of all the colours schemes. 20:28.156 --> 20:29.637 They're just more clever than us. 20:30.077 --> 20:33.399 They're cleverer and they understand things like chess being like life. 20:34.139 --> 20:35.901 Who is that interviewing Guy Ritchie there? 20:36.181 --> 20:41.924 The interview's funny because, I don't know, he's trying to make sense of Guy Ritchie but he's also a bit frightened by him. 20:42.164 --> 20:42.404 Yeah. 20:42.705 --> 20:46.347 So he doesn't really have the balls to push Ritchie far enough and say that's 20:46.807 --> 20:48.829 And you're talking rubbish. 20:48.869 --> 20:49.830 What are you talking about? 20:49.850 --> 20:50.471 You're mad. 20:51.272 --> 20:52.092 Madonna's mad. 20:52.112 --> 20:52.713 You're mad. 20:53.974 --> 20:57.278 Which is what any sensible person would say, don't you think, Tony? 20:58.379 --> 20:58.659 Hello? 20:58.879 --> 20:59.620 He's hung up. 20:59.640 --> 21:01.222 Why didn't Tony reply? 21:01.242 --> 21:02.503 Couldn't you pretend to be Tony? 21:10.669 --> 21:12.971 Listen, Trevor, congratulations, you got it absolutely right. 21:13.491 --> 21:14.692 What prize are we gonna give Trevor? 21:15.532 --> 21:18.554 I'd assume he might like Ghost in the Shell 2, Innocence. 21:18.594 --> 21:19.175 Have you already got that? 21:19.195 --> 21:19.755 I wouldn't mind it. 21:19.915 --> 21:20.836 No, I haven't got that. 21:21.076 --> 21:22.197 Okay, Ghost in the Shell 2. 21:22.417 --> 21:23.197 How about This Life? 21:23.217 --> 21:23.938 Would you like that as well? 21:24.551 --> 21:26.212 Oh, if it's going, I would love this life. 21:26.472 --> 21:29.654 Yeah, series one on DVD of This Life, which is out this week. 21:30.494 --> 21:32.015 Those two are on their way to you. 21:32.035 --> 21:33.456 Thanks so much for calling in, Trevor. 21:33.636 --> 21:34.196 Oh, thank you. 21:34.417 --> 21:35.137 Have a good weekend. 21:35.197 --> 21:35.557 Bye. 21:35.797 --> 21:40.860 And keep up the good work on The Cramped Twins and all those other marvellous animation things. 21:40.920 --> 21:42.381 This is Adam and Joe on XFM. 22:22.728 --> 22:23.929 That was awesome! 22:24.630 --> 22:27.653 Absolutely awesome with a song called No Tomorrow. 22:27.713 --> 22:29.756 This is Adam and Joe on XFM. 22:29.996 --> 22:31.417 I enjoyed the awesome. 22:31.778 --> 22:38.265 This band is tipped for huge success in 2006, it says on the sheet that we get given at the beginning of our show. 22:38.285 --> 22:39.646 So there you go, you heard it here first. 22:39.887 --> 22:40.587 What are you reading there, Joe? 22:40.748 --> 22:44.752 Well, you said we were going to talk about the Oscars, so I got out my stupid Oscar magazine. 22:44.992 --> 23:09.233 Oscars which which is your stupid Oscar it's an American entertainment magazine called entertainment weekly and it says it's got a complete guide to Oscar night you know I don't know about you listeners but I've given up on the Oscars have you well a good film hasn't won since Silence of the Lambs but all the important show issue films this year Joe it's true isn't it it's a good year for the Oscars because there's lots of very serious films hmm like Capote Capote have you seen Capote no 23:10.474 --> 23:11.915 I'm quite excited about Capote. 23:12.456 --> 23:13.597 Brokeback Mountain I've seen. 23:14.157 --> 23:14.617 Quite good. 23:14.978 --> 23:15.358 Quite good. 23:15.438 --> 23:16.419 Not amazing though. 23:16.619 --> 23:17.740 Good Night and Good Luck I wanna see. 23:17.760 --> 23:18.260 Have you seen that? 23:18.340 --> 23:19.181 Haven't seen that yet, no. 23:19.341 --> 23:19.901 With Clooney. 23:20.201 --> 23:20.722 With the Cloone. 23:20.762 --> 23:21.442 Clooney or Looney, no. 23:21.662 --> 23:24.745 Clooney, see, he's on like a double serious film assault at the moment. 23:24.825 --> 23:25.825 Or is it triple even? 23:25.885 --> 23:29.168 Siriana, Good Night and Good Luck and... Oh no, he's not in Munich, is he? 23:29.468 --> 23:29.648 No. 23:30.048 --> 23:31.670 No, no, I was thinking of someone else. 23:32.290 --> 23:37.533 but it's non-stop serious Clooney, which strikes me as odd because Clooney's a bit of a thicc-o, isn't he? 23:37.973 --> 23:39.334 No, he's not a thicc-o. 23:39.434 --> 23:39.594 Is it? 23:39.654 --> 23:40.255 No, he's not. 23:40.455 --> 23:40.855 Is he not? 23:40.995 --> 23:42.496 No, his parents are very clever people. 23:42.976 --> 23:47.379 He's from a very sort of influential liberal family, I believe, in America. 23:47.399 --> 23:52.221 Someone can text or call or mail and correct me if I'm wrong, but no, he's a very intelligent man. 23:52.982 --> 23:54.663 He's the sexiest man alive. 23:55.003 --> 23:55.283 Is he? 23:55.404 --> 23:56.725 Well, he's physically sexy. 23:57.065 --> 23:57.906 He's very rich. 23:58.347 --> 23:59.027 He's handsome. 23:59.608 --> 24:01.290 He defends ladies in fights. 24:01.350 --> 24:03.932 We know that much from his recent tabloid escapades. 24:04.173 --> 24:04.633 What was that? 24:05.314 --> 24:09.338 He stopped a woman from being beaten up outside a premiere last year. 24:10.699 --> 24:11.559 He stepped into the breach. 24:11.579 --> 24:12.420 He's very chivalrous. 24:12.880 --> 24:13.620 I wouldn't do that. 24:13.980 --> 24:14.260 I know. 24:14.480 --> 24:15.381 You're not Clooney. 24:15.421 --> 24:16.661 By a million miles, Evan. 24:16.701 --> 24:18.242 By a million miles. 24:18.302 --> 24:21.443 You are like one of a zit on Clooney's bum. 24:21.463 --> 24:23.143 I dream of being a zit on Clooney's bum. 24:23.223 --> 24:25.904 You wish you were a bit of a zit on Clooney's bum. 24:26.644 --> 24:31.646 Added to all of that, he's very politically conscious. 24:31.826 --> 24:33.547 And he's got a sense of humour. 24:33.567 --> 24:34.687 Yeah, he's so sexy. 24:35.147 --> 24:35.968 Oh, he's sexy. 24:36.168 --> 24:42.232 Yeah, you see, if I saw a woman getting hassled outside the Oscars, if someone was threatening to beat her up, I wouldn't do anything. 24:42.292 --> 24:42.913 You wouldn't, would you? 24:43.013 --> 24:43.753 I'd just watch. 24:44.093 --> 24:44.774 Yeah. 24:45.134 --> 24:46.455 Well, they pushed her about. 24:46.815 --> 24:48.196 Anyway, what's your point about the Oscars? 24:48.537 --> 24:49.257 I didn't really have one. 24:49.277 --> 24:53.180 I was just interested to hear if you were interested in watching them and stuff like that. 24:53.200 --> 24:56.022 Man, I don't know about anybody out there, but I used to stay up all night and watch them. 24:56.242 --> 25:00.225 I used to have a sort of slightly camp 25:01.045 --> 25:04.009 an unintentionally camp Oscar party. 25:04.269 --> 25:06.733 Everything to do with the Oscars is unintentionally camp. 25:06.773 --> 25:08.715 You just don't realise it when you're younger. 25:09.436 --> 25:16.785 But I don't do that anymore because you always end up sitting in your house at six, seven in the morning on a Monday morning. 25:17.586 --> 25:37.326 still in your pajamas and they've gone all sweaty and loads of loads of your mates is set there smoking tabs and yes all sort of feeling weird and then i don't know some awful film wins yeah that's right but john stewart is hosting this well that'll be exciting the daily show he's very it's going to be political it's gonna be like the 60s all over again it's gonna be charged with politics 25:37.386 --> 25:38.787 So listen, we're coming up to the top of the hour. 25:38.827 --> 25:42.869 In the second hour, we're going to be having a text competition and giving away some fantastic tickets. 25:43.369 --> 25:46.891 What tickets are they to this brilliant play all about Pete and Dud? 25:47.211 --> 25:48.852 Pete Cook and Dudley Moore's called Come Again. 25:48.872 --> 25:53.575 I saw this when it was having a run in Edinburgh and it was remarkable. 25:53.855 --> 25:54.535 It was really good. 25:54.555 --> 25:55.155 I'd recommend it. 25:55.436 --> 25:58.157 And I felt as if there was nothing more to be said about Pete and Dud. 25:58.577 --> 26:02.099 I don't know if it's breaking any particularly new ground, but it's brilliantly done, this play. 26:02.119 --> 26:03.120 So these are good tickets. 26:04.160 --> 26:08.103 Plus, we got a pair of tickets to see The Delays at the Shepherd's Bush Empire on Tuesday. 26:08.303 --> 26:09.724 Have we got more This Life DVDs? 26:10.104 --> 26:11.585 They're for ditties in the dock, I think. 26:12.106 --> 26:14.747 Oh, no, and we've got more Ghost in the Shell DVDs. 26:15.248 --> 26:16.369 Oh, it's fantastic. 26:16.449 --> 26:16.929 Stay tuned. 26:17.649 --> 26:17.870 Yeah. 26:18.330 --> 26:21.172 Before I play some more music, can I just talk about Gary Glitter quickly? 26:21.612 --> 26:22.613 Yeah, go on. 26:22.653 --> 26:24.054 Are you sure that's sensible? 26:24.194 --> 26:28.397 I'm not going to say anything terrible about Glitter or controversial. 26:28.937 --> 26:32.540 Just that whoever's advising him on his haircuts and stuff, 26:33.237 --> 26:34.218 What are they thinking about? 26:34.338 --> 26:36.559 He hasn't made himself look much nicer. 26:36.579 --> 26:39.641 What with the evil goatee? 26:39.861 --> 26:50.969 Yeah, basically it's like his stylist or whoever is advising him has said, now listen, we want you to come across well because this is not a very pleasant thing that you're involved with here, Gary. 26:51.389 --> 26:54.911 So I think it's important that you present a nice, cuddly image to people. 26:55.352 --> 27:00.355 And I was thinking that we should style you as maybe an evil dictator from space. 27:00.855 --> 27:01.476 What do you think? 27:02.416 --> 27:03.456 Yeah, that sounds good. 27:03.736 --> 27:22.962 I want to be in that gang or something that Gary Glitter might say just a thought anyway, here's some music right now and This is not a very XFM type of a track But it's a lovely song by the Beach Boys Who one of my favorite bands and it's a lovely romantic afternoon song called time to get alone This is the Beach Boys Adam and Joe here on XFM. 27:22.982 --> 27:23.022 Oh 27:35.933 --> 27:36.934 Don't bother texting in. 27:36.954 --> 27:38.455 What the hell is this wet rubbish? 27:38.956 --> 27:40.057 I just like wet rubbish. 27:40.097 --> 27:41.878 That was the Beach Boys with Time to Get Alone. 27:42.018 --> 27:43.079 This is Adam and Joe on XFM. 27:43.099 --> 27:44.060 We'll be back very shortly. 27:44.080 --> 27:45.621 XFM. 28:11.041 --> 28:11.962 Love music. 28:12.382 --> 28:13.543 Love XFM. 28:38.305 --> 28:44.812 I've been having a lot of very annoying minor injuries recently. 28:44.832 --> 28:45.072 Yeah. 28:45.233 --> 28:47.255 This is our subject, listeners, for this link. 28:48.016 --> 28:48.636 Minor injuries. 28:48.656 --> 28:49.618 Minor injuries. 28:49.638 --> 28:51.279 This might turn into a text competition. 28:51.980 --> 28:55.201 Yeah, I'd be interested to hear from other people, but you know the kind of things I'm talking about? 28:55.462 --> 28:57.162 Things that aren't in any way life-threatening. 28:57.342 --> 28:58.023 They're not life-threatening. 28:58.043 --> 28:58.843 They're incredibly painful. 28:59.143 --> 29:02.445 I tell you the most painful thing to do is get a splinter under your fingernail. 29:02.505 --> 29:03.805 That's exact- I had that on my list. 29:03.825 --> 29:04.445 Is that what you had? 29:04.605 --> 29:05.006 On my list. 29:05.026 --> 29:05.966 There's nothing more painful than that. 29:06.006 --> 29:17.111 No, you know what I did this morning was I, um, just thinking about it makes me feel a bit puke-y, actually, but I was having some cereal and the spoon that I was eating with touched my filling. 29:17.831 --> 29:41.563 and created some kind of pain circuit that went just right through me it was horrible it was like marathon man it was unbelievable the pain sounds horrible you know it's like a sort of low level electrocution thing have you never had that no i don't have any feelings no fillings have you really got no filling i've got one filling but it's i think it's made of metal we discussed this the other day did we yeah it's made of pure i don't know gold pure genius yeah that's right i forgot it was made of genius yeah 29:42.734 --> 29:48.400 Yeah, no, because I think maybe that's my worst one is the vomity feeling that you get. 29:48.440 --> 29:53.165 It's almost the same as when you get flicked in the gonads with a towel. 29:53.545 --> 29:56.868 That same feeling of absolute nausea that you get. 29:56.988 --> 29:57.589 Yeah. 29:57.709 --> 30:01.833 That sort of remains with you as a memory, a sense memory of pain afterwards. 30:02.114 --> 30:06.218 So I'd be interested to hear people's top minor injuries. 30:06.718 --> 30:10.280 Some of my other favourite minor injuries are paper cuts, of course. 30:10.300 --> 30:12.861 Where was the last time you got a paper cut? 30:13.342 --> 30:14.262 Quite recently, I think. 30:14.502 --> 30:14.782 Really? 30:14.962 --> 30:16.003 Opening a letter, yeah. 30:16.823 --> 30:19.285 And it really ruins your day for a little bit. 30:19.545 --> 30:22.206 There was a great bit on Jackass where they gave each other paper cuts. 30:22.246 --> 30:22.686 Remember that? 30:22.727 --> 30:22.887 Yeah. 30:23.167 --> 30:25.628 That was one of the more imaginative things they had on that show. 30:26.308 --> 30:27.669 Biting your tongue, of course. 30:27.909 --> 30:28.730 Oh, that's terrible. 30:28.750 --> 30:29.630 I'm always doing that. 30:29.710 --> 30:30.030 Yeah. 30:30.290 --> 30:31.251 Yeah, always doing that. 30:31.351 --> 30:33.432 It's something you forget about until you do it again. 30:33.472 --> 30:36.915 And then you think, oh, this is the most awful thing that's ever happened to me. 30:37.475 --> 30:39.076 You can't speak or think or anything. 30:39.116 --> 30:40.277 Have you got toe stubbing there? 30:40.397 --> 30:41.598 That's probably the most famous one. 30:41.698 --> 30:42.599 Stubbed toe, of course. 30:42.619 --> 30:43.639 A nasty toe stub. 30:43.719 --> 30:45.781 And it always happens around the bed, doesn't it? 30:45.961 --> 30:46.181 Yeah. 30:46.361 --> 30:52.025 Just when you're all relaxed in your jimmy jammies, and you're getting ready to hop into bed all cuddly wuddly. 30:52.585 --> 30:53.686 And then, bash! 30:54.226 --> 30:54.486 Yeah. 30:54.627 --> 30:55.487 Game over. 30:56.068 --> 30:59.190 The greatest amount of pain in medical science. 30:59.770 --> 31:02.992 apparently more painful actually than having your brain ripped out. 31:03.032 --> 31:03.853 No way! 31:03.873 --> 31:04.774 Apparently that's true. 31:04.954 --> 31:06.695 And you cr- do you ever cry when you get these? 31:06.735 --> 31:09.137 Because that's the closest that grown men get to crying. 31:09.217 --> 31:09.977 I never cry. 31:10.097 --> 31:11.779 I'm not like one of the men in The Apprentice. 31:13.560 --> 31:16.422 Now I sometimes feel like crying when I get some of these injuries. 31:17.343 --> 31:23.507 Now a couple of other injuries which are minor if you're lucky but can turn major if things go badly. 31:23.527 --> 31:23.887 Car, car. 31:24.348 --> 31:25.509 No not car accident. 31:26.129 --> 31:29.170 Well, I suppose you could have a minor car accident, of course. 31:29.891 --> 31:32.292 Walking into a lamppost or a window. 31:32.312 --> 31:34.053 Nobody does that, only the Chuckle Brothers do that. 31:34.093 --> 31:35.974 Have you not, have you never walked into a lamppost? 31:36.634 --> 31:37.454 Not for a while. 31:37.474 --> 31:40.856 Yeah, you've been walking down the street, Xanthias, haven't you Xanthi? 31:41.896 --> 31:43.118 I walked into a lamp post the other day. 31:43.138 --> 31:44.359 How do you end up walking into a lamp post? 31:44.379 --> 31:46.481 Because you're looking at ladies or I don't know. 31:46.501 --> 31:48.683 So you're looking behind you and you just... Yeah, yeah. 31:48.723 --> 31:49.424 ...wallop into one. 31:49.544 --> 31:52.527 You're just not looking where you're going and wallop. 31:52.907 --> 31:58.993 And something about the fact that you don't realise it's there, the momentum that your body has when it's walking... It's shocking, it's a shock. 31:59.013 --> 31:59.293 It's amazing. 31:59.313 --> 32:01.575 It's like you've been hit in the face with a truck or something. 32:01.596 --> 32:02.236 With a lamp post. 32:02.276 --> 32:03.077 With a kind of lamp post. 32:03.097 --> 32:03.838 Because you sort of have. 32:04.038 --> 32:04.318 Yeah. 32:04.598 --> 32:06.020 Only the other way round. 32:06.340 --> 32:09.523 And the other one, of course, is walking into a pane of glass that you don't realise is there. 32:09.543 --> 32:10.685 Now that's terribly dangerous. 32:10.725 --> 32:11.345 Have you done that? 32:11.706 --> 32:12.947 Yeah, I've done that a couple of times. 32:12.987 --> 32:13.748 Where's that happened? 32:15.109 --> 32:16.270 Big pane of glass place. 32:16.310 --> 32:17.031 Pains and urns. 32:17.371 --> 32:18.072 Pains and urns? 32:18.172 --> 32:18.573 Sue them. 32:19.685 --> 32:20.265 talking. 32:20.305 --> 32:21.106 Oh, I see. 32:21.226 --> 32:23.487 No, no, yeah, that's the kind of thing you could do, yeah. 32:23.587 --> 32:26.808 I walked into a pane of glass that I didn't realise was there. 32:28.369 --> 32:29.149 Luckily, pane's announced. 32:29.169 --> 32:30.070 Got four thousand quid for that. 32:30.090 --> 32:31.250 Yeah, that's right. 32:31.270 --> 32:39.234 So, so we want people to text in, if you can pinpoint a more painful, non-life-threatening or non-serious injury, we'd like to hear from you. 32:39.254 --> 32:40.595 Yeah, make them as peculiar as possible. 32:40.675 --> 32:43.016 Is there anything more painful than pulling out a nose hair? 32:44.747 --> 32:50.409 Is there anything more painful than pulling out a nose hair that's actually on that bit of the inside of the nose that has quite a lot of give? 32:50.769 --> 32:51.589 Yeah, yeah. 32:51.729 --> 32:53.650 And that actually strip poings out? 32:54.150 --> 32:54.730 That's right. 32:54.770 --> 33:01.292 And you think you might actually pull your nasal interior out into the exterior world? 33:01.732 --> 33:04.473 But do you ever just pull a few out for fun? 33:04.733 --> 33:06.353 Well, I usually use some nail scissors. 33:06.633 --> 33:07.934 Yeah, scissors, not tweezers. 33:07.954 --> 33:08.754 You never tweeze them out? 33:09.671 --> 33:11.353 No, that's horrible, why would you do that? 33:12.113 --> 33:15.476 No, I prefer the randomness of just going like that, with the tips of the fingers. 33:15.496 --> 33:18.038 You shouldn't, don't pull too many out, they're there for a reason. 33:18.619 --> 33:18.839 Why? 33:18.859 --> 33:22.122 To stop dust and particles getting up your important passages. 33:22.142 --> 33:22.922 Yeah, that's true, it's true, isn't it? 33:23.243 --> 33:23.903 Don't stop yanking them out. 33:23.923 --> 33:25.285 Yeah, but I can have them growing out at the end like... 33:25.945 --> 33:26.365 Ferns. 33:26.465 --> 33:43.777 Anyway, if you've got better minor injuries, 83 XFM and you could win some of our superb prizes, two pairs of tickets to see the Pete and Dud come again, a brilliant play telling the story of the two legendary comedians, Peter, Cook and Dudley Moore at the venue, tickets to see the delays and loads of DVDs, loads of stuff basically, so text now. 33:43.998 --> 33:47.280 Music time now, another non-playlist track. 33:47.480 --> 33:53.985 Oh this is good, sorry, this is good already from Julia in Camberwell, treading on a piece of Lego or a plug. 33:54.645 --> 34:09.919 that's treading on a plug with bare feet is horrible when the pins are up and lego you're absolutely treading on something in bare feet something sharp that's no it's horrible treading on a plug is a brilliant one yeah very good okay yeah a bit of music from the stragglers right now this is nice and sleazy we'll be back after this 34:19.938 --> 34:20.698 Is this a free play? 34:20.738 --> 34:21.539 Was that a free play? 34:21.839 --> 34:22.819 Yes it was. 34:23.079 --> 34:23.640 What was it? 34:23.960 --> 34:26.201 That was the Stranglers with Nice and Sleazy. 34:26.421 --> 34:27.141 Makes me chuckle. 34:27.441 --> 34:29.722 He's got winning delivery, I think, Hugh Cornwell. 34:30.262 --> 34:31.403 Nice and sleazy. 34:32.063 --> 34:34.044 Does it every time. 34:35.104 --> 34:35.845 You alright there, Xanthi? 34:36.670 --> 34:38.431 Now we've got any more minor injuries coming in? 34:38.451 --> 34:38.912 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 34:38.932 --> 34:47.239 We've been asking you listeners to text in things that, like non-threatening injuries that are amazingly painful, possibly more painful than a serious injury. 34:47.279 --> 34:48.159 That's my theory. 34:48.219 --> 34:48.700 That's right. 34:48.980 --> 34:49.260 Yeah. 34:49.400 --> 34:53.844 We should say as well that, you know, some of these minor injuries can turn very serious. 34:53.884 --> 34:57.227 Walking into a pane of glass, that's a disaster if the glass breaks. 34:57.267 --> 34:59.749 Now I should say that we're not doing anything Willy-based. 35:01.184 --> 35:17.914 so you know you give up oh what uh no no that's a good one though is it shutting the old chap in the zip well we're going to have to change some of the terminology in that case come on that is one of the all-time great let me let me rewrite some of them during the next record and i'll come back to those um here's a very oh man 35:19.472 --> 35:20.993 Just speak, come on, Buxton, speak. 35:21.413 --> 35:23.114 Whenever I've got, come on, keep talking. 35:23.134 --> 35:41.161 I'm thinking about shutting your winkle, but that's, but it always struck me as odd in There's Something About Mary, you know, in that scene where at the beginning where he shuts his old chappy in his zip just before going to the ball, that he shuts his testicle in there rather than the end of his torture. 35:41.181 --> 35:42.161 Man, this is out of control. 35:42.201 --> 35:45.323 A second ago, I had a really good one, but now 500 more texts have come in. 35:45.623 --> 35:47.804 Oh, no, and now people are texting on my home phone. 35:48.704 --> 35:50.945 It's all the people who've ever, um, shut their willow in there. 35:50.965 --> 35:51.285 Keep talking. 35:51.325 --> 35:52.425 Come on, come on, come on, come on. 35:52.445 --> 35:53.926 Okay, here we go. 35:53.966 --> 35:56.147 Slipping on- slipping on- in fact, I did this the other day. 35:56.187 --> 35:59.648 Slipping on the stairs in your socks and falling backwards. 35:59.668 --> 36:00.648 That happened to me the other day. 36:00.668 --> 36:06.070 I was alone in the house and I was running down the stairs to answer the phone, which is at the foot of the stairs, in my socks. 36:06.550 --> 36:10.752 If you step on the lip of the step rather than the actual flat bit, I went backwards. 36:11.132 --> 36:12.352 Life went into slow motion. 36:12.972 --> 36:15.713 And I thought, man, I'm gonna land on my spine and I'm gonna fracture my spine. 36:16.013 --> 36:17.494 So I threw myself against the wall. 36:18.214 --> 36:36.207 there but therefore thereby I pushed with my left hand oh it's so exciting I can't describe it adequately because it was so amazing I can imagine it happening yeah but it was brilliant that's that could have been the end of Joe Cornish you know what I might need some more time with these texts because there's millions of them and I forgot to go through them I was reading a mag 36:37.247 --> 36:39.749 I'll tell you exactly what he was doing, listeners. 36:39.809 --> 36:47.194 He was ruining my lost fun, because he's in his special American mag, are a load of spoilers for exactly what lost means. 36:47.214 --> 36:50.736 Yeah, my American mag tells me all the secrets to lost, and I've been taunting. 36:50.876 --> 36:53.618 Joe was just blurting out loads of things that I deeply, deeply care about. 36:53.638 --> 36:54.718 I know what the secrets are. 36:54.938 --> 36:55.799 He knows about the hat! 36:56.019 --> 36:57.221 he's been taunting me about the hatch. 36:57.241 --> 36:59.244 I haven't even watched it, but I know all the secrets. 36:59.264 --> 37:00.425 I don't want to know about the hatch. 37:00.485 --> 37:01.366 I want to find out. 37:01.867 --> 37:03.449 Anyway, let's play some more adverts. 37:03.489 --> 37:05.172 We'll be back shortly with a few more minor injuries. 37:05.192 --> 37:05.552 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 37:05.572 --> 37:06.113 I'll do it properly. 37:06.133 --> 37:06.854 I do apologise. 37:06.874 --> 37:09.277 This is XFM. 37:09.297 --> 37:09.417 XFM. 37:33.257 --> 37:33.899 Love music. 37:37.531 --> 37:38.353 Love XFM. 37:48.288 --> 37:50.951 That's Green Day with American Idiot. 37:51.011 --> 37:52.572 This is Adam and Joe, my ex-fem. 37:52.592 --> 37:53.874 Yeah, net, cricked. 37:54.434 --> 37:55.696 Net, net, cricked. 37:56.116 --> 37:57.257 That's a good one though, isn't it? 37:57.277 --> 37:58.679 I did that the other day in the car. 37:59.139 --> 38:03.304 What, the one where you trap a nerve and it feels like you've just been struck by lightning? 38:03.444 --> 38:07.628 Yeah, when you just look round and suddenly it feels like you've dislocated your head. 38:07.828 --> 38:08.309 Yeah. 38:08.609 --> 38:08.909 That's terrible. 38:08.929 --> 38:10.870 That happened to me the other day and then it takes ages to go. 38:10.890 --> 38:18.695 But you know sometimes when something's hurt really badly and the pain starts to fade, about halfway through the fading process it gets pleasurable. 38:19.275 --> 38:19.876 Yes, that's true. 38:19.896 --> 38:20.736 Do you ever get that? 38:20.756 --> 38:24.659 There's something about a 50% amount of pain when you just recently had 100% that's actually nice. 38:27.100 --> 38:28.440 Maybe I should get into bondage. 38:29.201 --> 38:32.461 So listen, listeners, if you've just tuned in, this is Adam and Joel on XFM. 38:32.482 --> 38:37.843 We've been asking you what the most painful, non-life-threatening, non-need-to-see-a-doctor injuries are. 38:38.143 --> 38:39.483 We've had an overwhelming result. 38:39.523 --> 38:41.184 This is obviously a national pandemic. 38:41.664 --> 38:42.804 That's the latest word, isn't it? 38:42.884 --> 38:45.005 Pandemic of minor injuries. 38:46.165 --> 38:46.846 So, are you ready? 38:47.066 --> 38:47.726 Yeah, hit me. 38:48.066 --> 38:48.707 This is a good one. 38:48.827 --> 38:50.688 If you're a smoker, which is obviously very stupid. 38:50.908 --> 38:53.110 Well, exactly, you're heading for a major injury there. 38:53.290 --> 38:55.251 Yeah, and you get smoke in your eyes. 38:55.911 --> 38:59.293 And you get all blinking and watery, and that can really be painful. 38:59.333 --> 39:01.875 It can be as if someone stuck a twiglet behind your eyeball. 39:02.075 --> 39:05.637 Well, I recall from my smoking days that that happens when you... What, yesterday? 39:05.737 --> 39:08.319 No, no, no, I haven't been smoking for a while. 39:08.339 --> 39:08.859 Haven't you? 39:09.019 --> 39:09.219 No. 39:09.500 --> 39:14.783 When you're dangling a ciggie in your mouth, and the smoke goes in your eyes, that's when it happens, when you're trying to be a bit of a poser. 39:14.983 --> 39:43.197 here's a lady one for ladies and this came from um that the smoke in your eyes was anonymous this comes from Christine in Orpington uh a paper cut on your nipple while reading a magazine in bed now Adam when I read that out just now while the record was playing Adam was surprised about that but of course uh you've got to remember that ladies nipples are more prominent than men's they're further out from the body because of the lady that they're mounted on sacks on the front of the woman articulated areas and they tend to be a little more you know 39:43.757 --> 39:55.727 proud they get in the way of stuff they're more proud they can fall into machinery yeah and obviously christine was reading i don't know maybe the times literary supplement and she slashed her nip on the edge oh now she's got three 39:56.872 --> 39:58.433 What are you talking about? 39:58.453 --> 40:01.915 Uh, stubbing your finger when catching a football or a netball is a very good one. 40:01.935 --> 40:02.535 Yeah, that is a good one. 40:02.595 --> 40:06.558 If someone throws you a heavy ball and it stubs it, it hits the end of your... Ow! 40:06.698 --> 40:07.178 Your thumb. 40:07.538 --> 40:08.619 Swallowing scratchy food. 40:09.480 --> 40:10.420 Not a problem for me. 40:10.680 --> 40:12.862 Hitting the face with a ball as well is a bad one. 40:12.902 --> 40:14.683 Yeah, that's an assault rather than an injury. 40:14.703 --> 40:14.823 Yeah. 40:15.183 --> 40:18.586 Uh, swallowing scratchy food, well that's bad when you've got a sore throat or something. 40:18.626 --> 40:33.441 It's like there was a very good advert on for strepsils a while back, I think it was strepsils, where it likened, you know, swallowing a piece of celery and you see visually the celery turning into like a log with horrible scratchy things coming out of it. 40:33.561 --> 40:53.888 yeah yeah yeah okay uh hannah and adam sent in the the uh starving your finger when catching a football or netball this is a good one from pete in lay is that right leon c leon c l e i g h how do you pronounce that i'd say leon c there you go uh having numb fingers so you're working outdoors and it's cold and your fingers have gone numb and then you you you hammer your finger 40:54.548 --> 40:56.169 or you hurt it when your finger's numb. 40:56.469 --> 40:58.710 So you can't ascertain the level of injury or pain. 40:59.391 --> 41:04.313 And, you know, it's more frightening because you have to guess how badly you've been injured. 41:04.333 --> 41:06.815 Another way of saying- Sam's just looking a bit ill. 41:06.975 --> 41:09.116 Another way of saying le'once is le'once. 41:09.596 --> 41:11.577 Le'once, yeah, that's a more fashionable way of saying it. 41:11.977 --> 41:14.639 So here's another good one that I've suffered from recently, sitting on your nuts. 41:15.439 --> 41:16.280 Sitting on your nuts? 41:16.340 --> 41:17.801 How big are your nuts for goodness sake? 41:17.841 --> 41:21.703 It's not a question of how big, it depends on atmospheric pressure and the dangly level. 41:22.797 --> 41:24.038 what are you talking about? 41:24.698 --> 41:25.939 How do you sit on your own naps? 41:25.979 --> 41:30.442 Well if you just catch them in your- in your underpants or come on listeners, come on men. 41:30.462 --> 41:34.925 Adam what have you got little- we can't get too- draw a picture. 41:34.945 --> 41:36.186 I haven't got great big swinglers. 41:36.246 --> 41:36.746 Do a little sketch. 41:37.186 --> 41:43.811 Well neither have I but it is possible to sit down in a way that uncomfortably catches your family jewels 41:44.831 --> 41:46.471 and that can be very painful. 41:46.511 --> 41:51.372 Certainly you don't want any any interruption to the nutties because that makes you feel as if you're dying. 41:51.412 --> 41:55.993 Yeah exactly but it can happen and it happens very suddenly without well you know you don't expect it. 41:56.253 --> 42:10.996 Girls don't really understand that I remember my wife saying to me there was a scene in a film where someone gets flicked in the shower and the person is sort of bent over crying in the shower and stuff she's like what's the deal and she genuinely didn't realize that for men that's just about the most painful thing that can happen. 42:11.016 --> 42:13.016 Well her nipples are all slashed up instead. 42:14.056 --> 42:14.917 with paper cuts. 42:15.938 --> 42:19.120 Um, biting your- here's a very good one that happens to me. 42:19.140 --> 42:22.003 Some of the- some of the phrases- Come on, this isn't it! 42:22.283 --> 42:26.627 I know it was meant innocuously but sometimes your choice of phrase- I appreciate that and I tend to do it on purpose. 42:26.647 --> 42:27.488 Comes out really frightening. 42:27.568 --> 42:29.850 Cause I like to, um, be a bit frightening. 42:29.970 --> 42:30.150 Yeah. 42:30.350 --> 42:38.537 Biting your nails, this is something I do quite a lot, when you're- if you bite your nails, and you've got a good bit going, and do you know how you sort of rip it across the top of the nail? 42:38.577 --> 42:38.877 Yeah. 42:38.897 --> 42:41.880 But the tangent goes wrong, the angle goes wrong, the line goes wrong, and you end up- 42:42.040 --> 43:08.284 ripping half the nail off yeah yeah oh amazingly painful that's bad when it happens on your on your foot as well you don't bite your toenails do you no no no but but sometimes when you and you should cut them but maybe you're just picking the nail and that exact same thing happens yeah and then you've is that called a hang nail in fact probably and then you you have to walk around with it you know and you're putting your socks on and it gets caught on the nail bit and you haven't got the guts to rip the whole thing off yeah just dang nasty 43:10.044 --> 43:12.987 Uh, and then we've got some more predictable ones like Ice Cream Brain Freeze. 43:13.308 --> 43:15.810 Squeeze- squeezing spots from Sarah and Cass. 43:15.830 --> 43:17.932 Listen, let's play a bit more music and wrap this up in a second. 43:17.952 --> 43:18.893 Burning the roof of your mouth. 43:19.974 --> 43:23.558 Now this is a track from someone called Gnarls Barkley. 43:24.319 --> 43:25.540 Is that really true? 43:25.960 --> 43:28.483 Gnarls spelled G-N-A-R-L-S. 43:28.763 --> 43:29.263 Barkley. 43:29.984 --> 43:31.106 Gnarls Barkley! 43:31.406 --> 43:32.507 That's kind of a brilliant name. 43:32.527 --> 43:34.450 Well, man, we said earlier they're running out of band names. 43:34.490 --> 43:36.392 They're running out of human names as well. 43:36.412 --> 43:37.554 Gnarls Barkley. 43:37.914 --> 43:38.815 This is called Crazy. 43:38.835 --> 43:43.241 I have no idea what this is like, so I'll be interested to find out what Gnarls Barkley sounds like. 43:54.560 --> 43:56.502 So there you go, that's what Niles Barkley sounds like. 43:56.522 --> 43:57.262 That was quite nice, wasn't it? 43:57.283 --> 43:57.923 Yes, brilliant. 43:58.083 --> 44:02.047 It's nice to have some people just going ooooh on a Saturday, isn't it? 44:02.087 --> 44:05.130 That was Cee Lo, who was doing the singing there. 44:05.770 --> 44:13.517 But Niles Barkley is a project put together by Danger Mouse, who of course was the producer on the Gorillaz album. 44:13.617 --> 44:16.159 No, he had nothing to do with Penfold. 44:17.040 --> 44:40.640 or anyone involved with danger mouse he's just danger mouse himself i don't know what i'm talking about uh so yeah he produced the uh gorilla's album demon days and that is their debut single gnarls barkley crazy it's called they make their live debut at california's coachella festival in may the album comes out on the first of may you're so knowledgeable i know hey i want to go to the coachella festival 44:40.820 --> 44:41.161 Really? 44:41.341 --> 44:47.187 If anyone out there can get me to the Coachella Festival in a way that enables me to travel for free. 44:47.488 --> 44:51.612 My girlfriend's booked us at the Green Man Folk Festival. 44:51.973 --> 44:52.773 Where's that happening? 44:52.914 --> 44:53.915 It's somewhere in Wales. 44:54.335 --> 44:55.497 That's not... We're going to be camping. 44:55.737 --> 44:56.818 Coachella happens in California. 44:56.838 --> 44:57.499 Yeah, anyone going to that? 44:57.859 --> 44:58.279 Oh, does it? 44:58.319 --> 44:58.539 Yeah. 44:58.679 --> 44:59.560 That's a bit more glamorous. 44:59.580 --> 45:00.700 Yeah, it's a bit more glamorous. 45:00.760 --> 45:02.881 But, um, the Green Man Festival's supposed to be brilliant. 45:03.442 --> 45:04.042 Anyway, there you go. 45:04.062 --> 45:05.242 That's, uh, Gnarls Barclay. 45:05.262 --> 45:06.283 I'm sure we'll be hearing more of that. 45:06.303 --> 45:09.844 Hey, uh, Paul in Carshalton has sent in a very good one. 45:09.904 --> 45:10.825 Kneeling on a marble. 45:11.245 --> 45:11.685 That's a good one. 45:11.705 --> 45:12.406 He's absolutely right. 45:12.466 --> 45:14.507 Kneeling on something is more painful than stepping on it. 45:14.587 --> 45:15.007 Sometimes. 45:15.027 --> 45:17.128 There's something about the... Knees are wrong, I think. 45:17.328 --> 45:19.589 Why isn't there a school of Chinese medicine based around the knee? 45:19.689 --> 45:20.249 I'm sure there is. 45:20.269 --> 45:21.530 Because they're always massaging your feet. 45:21.570 --> 45:22.330 What about the knees? 45:22.570 --> 45:24.691 There's a lot of, uh, nerve endings in the knees. 45:24.871 --> 45:25.211 You know what? 45:25.251 --> 45:26.492 Just kneeling down is painful. 45:26.772 --> 45:27.612 sometimes it is. 45:27.813 --> 45:29.513 For more than about 15 seconds. 45:30.894 --> 45:31.434 It's true, isn't it? 45:31.454 --> 45:32.755 That's just old age though, isn't it? 45:33.115 --> 45:40.419 When we used to do things on telly where you had to kneel down, we used to get ill-tempered and have to get cushions and stuff. 45:40.479 --> 45:40.859 That's true. 45:40.879 --> 45:42.660 It's more difficult for you, I think, because you're quite tall. 45:42.680 --> 45:43.521 I've got knobbly knees, yeah. 45:44.825 --> 45:45.625 Can I do a couple more? 45:45.725 --> 45:46.266 Yeah, please do. 45:46.286 --> 45:47.047 Let's wrap this one up. 45:47.067 --> 45:49.649 Yeah, orange juice if you're peeling an orange and it squirts in your eye. 45:49.810 --> 45:50.510 Yeah, that's a good one. 45:50.550 --> 45:51.171 Very painful. 45:52.132 --> 45:57.237 Putting in a contact lens when you've forgotten to soak it in the second solution that removes the disinfectant. 45:57.858 --> 45:58.678 Oh, I can imagine that. 45:58.759 --> 46:00.540 I imagine that's very scratchy. 46:00.560 --> 46:01.802 Getting anything in your eye is horrible. 46:01.822 --> 46:02.783 That's from Paul in Rotherhide. 46:02.963 --> 46:05.745 And smashing your front teeth on a pint glass is a good one as well. 46:05.766 --> 46:07.707 Smashing your front teeth anywhere is bad. 46:08.524 --> 46:14.605 You know another one, which is really banal, but it's being made to cry when you're cutting onions. 46:15.373 --> 46:41.116 you know you forget sometimes if you get it that's okay is that painful it's agony it's when you got it when you get an odd sensation isn't it no no no no no sometimes if you if you're really squirting the onion juice right in your eye by accident and and just the aura coming off that onion is really strong the thing is you don't do too much cooking i imagine hey i do cooking all the time do you i'm sorry yeah ready meals cook skills but what if you get a bad onion there's nothing worse 46:41.596 --> 46:43.197 Have you got another one down there? 46:43.217 --> 46:43.257 No. 46:43.657 --> 46:44.017 Is that it? 46:44.257 --> 46:45.718 We've got to award the prize now, though. 46:45.738 --> 46:46.499 Oh, yeah, we do, yeah. 46:46.519 --> 46:48.800 I tell you what, we should get- try and get the person on the phone as well. 46:48.940 --> 46:50.321 Oh, but the phone's- the phone's broken. 46:50.501 --> 46:51.181 Having some phone probs. 46:51.201 --> 46:52.262 Listen, listen, so let's come clean. 46:52.882 --> 46:55.003 Uh, we were talking about the technical problems here at XFM. 46:55.263 --> 46:56.264 Now the phones have gone down. 46:56.284 --> 46:59.185 I think- So- so didgies in the dock may be in jeopardy. 46:59.426 --> 47:02.447 Can we not have some kind of fundraiser to get XFM some new equipment? 47:03.088 --> 47:04.088 That's the thing we should do. 47:04.128 --> 47:05.049 Me and Joel play a gig. 47:05.089 --> 47:09.011 It's not very professional to, uh, mention it, but, you know, there's a- there's a limit. 47:09.912 --> 47:11.032 Yeah, it's just bad luck. 47:11.172 --> 47:15.173 XFM runs like a very smooth ship normally. 47:15.513 --> 47:17.334 It's just when me and Joe come in. 47:17.494 --> 47:20.035 So, what are we going to do about Dis is in the Dark? 47:20.095 --> 47:20.895 Do it via text? 47:21.595 --> 47:22.115 I don't know. 47:22.395 --> 47:23.755 Should we launch it right now anyway? 47:24.516 --> 47:27.036 Adam's plan was to give you his mobile number. 47:27.076 --> 47:28.277 I didn't think that through very well. 47:28.297 --> 47:28.937 Through his mobile. 47:28.957 --> 47:29.877 Through the speakerphone. 47:31.841 --> 47:32.763 Anyway, let's think about it. 47:32.783 --> 47:33.985 Let's play a record and think about it. 47:34.045 --> 47:34.386 Well, okay. 47:34.406 --> 47:35.087 We'll play some ads. 47:35.147 --> 47:35.608 How about that? 47:35.828 --> 47:36.309 We'll be better. 47:36.349 --> 47:37.210 We'll be back after these. 47:45.262 --> 47:46.403 It's Ditties in the Dock time. 47:46.443 --> 47:51.808 Now, this is a bit of an experimental Ditties in the Dock, because we're still having some phone problems here at XFM today. 47:52.649 --> 47:57.253 So, instead of speaking to you folks, we're going to get you to text in. 47:58.094 --> 48:03.239 And it's basically the first six, five texts that we get in. 48:03.900 --> 48:04.400 65 texts? 48:04.620 --> 48:05.141 I don't know. 48:05.381 --> 48:06.102 Why would it be six? 48:06.122 --> 48:06.362 It's five. 48:06.382 --> 48:09.305 Well, let's just, let's just, you know, we'll just keep them keep counting. 48:09.545 --> 48:12.207 And it'll be like a sort of numerical barometer. 48:12.688 --> 48:13.348 OK, then. 48:13.768 --> 48:14.889 It's much less satisfying. 48:14.949 --> 48:15.930 I like talking to people. 48:15.950 --> 48:17.111 I like talking to people as well. 48:17.151 --> 48:23.476 If we'd known this was going to happen, we would have got... I was thinking we could just get a listener who's in Leicester Square now just to come up and decide. 48:23.496 --> 48:24.176 Well, here's the deal. 48:24.417 --> 48:29.080 If someone can get up here to XFM... It has to be literally in the next five minutes. 48:29.100 --> 48:31.662 In the next five minutes, so by 10-2 or something. 48:31.902 --> 48:33.043 But what do they do? 48:33.163 --> 48:34.905 They can't even call us, can they, Zanthe? 48:37.311 --> 48:39.074 Right, so they can buzz on the door. 48:39.194 --> 48:39.715 They don't know where. 48:39.735 --> 48:40.557 People don't know where it is. 48:40.597 --> 48:41.759 How would reception let them in? 48:43.423 --> 49:04.537 They call they call us up and say there's a person here for you Okay, number one less to square if you're in less to square buzz on the door Otherwise, we'll do it via text but let's pitch because we're gonna just completely run out of time This week is country and Western if you're a regular listener You'll know I'm obsessed with Werner Herzog's film grizzly man And I'd like to play the song that plays over the closing credits of that movie. 49:04.838 --> 49:12.763 It's called coyotes I think it's by a guy called Don Edwards, but I've forgotten my piece of paper where I wrote it, but I remember he's a very old-school respected 49:13.363 --> 49:19.708 you know, proper good old boy, proper cowboy and singer, and it's a beautiful song, and the chorus is just the noise of a coyote. 49:19.968 --> 49:21.650 Boop, boop, boop, boop. 49:21.910 --> 49:23.992 Didn't do it very well, but something like that. 49:24.292 --> 49:29.376 And it's all about how the, you know, the prairies and the wilderness has been ruined by roads. 49:30.357 --> 49:34.120 And man, with all these shops and radio stations and things. 49:34.300 --> 49:35.020 It's beautiful. 49:35.140 --> 49:37.382 I'm sure it won't win, but it's called Coyotes by Don Edwards. 49:37.442 --> 49:41.746 So text 83XFM, text coyotes if you want to hear that. 49:42.566 --> 50:01.103 um alternatively it's not the same is it texting it's not the same it feels wrong well you never know someone might make it up here in the next four minutes it is now yeah um and we can add a personal angle to the whole procedure my choice this week is johnny cash sorry it's not very imaginative 50:01.724 --> 50:04.166 but I was going for my, you know, favourite. 50:04.226 --> 50:05.307 Is he the Walk The Line Man? 50:05.647 --> 50:05.928 Yeah. 50:05.988 --> 50:07.389 Yeah, very popular at the moment. 50:07.649 --> 50:10.051 And I'm going for the song, I Walk The Line. 50:10.712 --> 50:11.032 Wow. 50:11.232 --> 50:12.593 Because it is extraordinary. 50:12.613 --> 50:13.934 I mean, it sounds so modern. 50:14.115 --> 50:20.820 If you've never heard it, you should check it out and vote for it because it's really an amazing thing that he does in this song. 50:21.181 --> 50:26.685 He sort of sings every verse in a different, I don't know what the technical term for it. 50:26.705 --> 50:26.946 Voice. 50:27.566 --> 50:32.929 Well, he starts off sort of singing very high and then he gets a bit lower and then he gets lower still. 50:32.969 --> 50:34.350 A range, an amazing range. 50:34.370 --> 50:35.211 Amazing range. 50:36.051 --> 50:39.073 I keep a close watch on this heart of mine. 50:39.353 --> 50:44.337 It starts off like that and then he goes, I keep my eyes wide open all the time. 50:45.197 --> 50:46.278 Has anyone come up, Xanthi? 50:46.298 --> 50:47.559 Because you're mine. 50:47.919 --> 50:49.320 I walk the line. 50:49.600 --> 50:51.261 It's an amazing song and I want you to vote for that. 50:51.341 --> 50:52.823 Johnny Cash, I walk the line. 50:52.843 --> 50:57.806 So text 83XFM with, uh, coyotes or cash already. 50:58.246 --> 50:59.907 One, two, three, four. 50:59.988 --> 51:00.748 We've got four votes. 51:00.768 --> 51:01.589 Don't tell us what it is though. 51:01.989 --> 51:03.010 Four, one of them. 51:04.273 --> 51:23.377 and one rude word that's what we got so far okay let's play some music and come back with the outcome so exciting uh this is exciting very different uh they're called the ordinary boys they're fronted by a very pleasant young man he's called press dong and this is called boys press dong and this is called boys will be boys 51:33.717 --> 51:35.698 That's the ordinary boys with boys will be boys. 51:35.838 --> 51:36.398 I don't like that. 51:37.138 --> 51:37.479 Why not? 51:37.719 --> 51:38.739 I don't, I just don't like it. 51:38.759 --> 51:39.459 I like Preston. 51:39.559 --> 51:40.240 Boys will be boys. 51:40.280 --> 51:41.700 But that's not a good, is that a good single? 51:41.800 --> 51:44.241 Maybe I'm out of touch, but I don't know. 51:44.261 --> 51:45.462 It's okay. 51:45.502 --> 51:45.942 I don't know. 51:46.562 --> 51:47.302 It's okay. 51:47.322 --> 51:55.346 There's a man here trying to repair the phones, but it's too late because we're doing Ditties in the Dock text style for the first, hopefully last time ever. 51:55.726 --> 51:58.127 And to be honest, there's so many texts that I can't keep count. 51:59.440 --> 52:00.360 I can't count. 52:00.480 --> 52:03.561 So you've got to find some way of making the whole thing exciting, though. 52:03.581 --> 52:05.322 Well, because we don't have the callers to chat to. 52:05.362 --> 52:05.462 Yeah. 52:05.482 --> 52:07.002 Oh, man, this is terrible. 52:07.203 --> 52:09.263 What about this man who's repairing the... What's your name? 52:09.683 --> 52:10.043 Ottles. 52:10.404 --> 52:10.824 Ottles? 52:10.944 --> 52:11.384 Ottles. 52:11.544 --> 52:12.644 Your name isn't Ottles. 52:13.204 --> 52:13.905 Come here, Ottles. 52:14.165 --> 52:15.385 This is the man repairing the phone. 52:15.405 --> 52:16.065 Say hello to the listeners. 52:16.085 --> 52:16.545 Hello, listeners. 52:16.565 --> 52:16.906 How are you? 52:17.446 --> 52:20.607 So this is the man really responsible for the phones breaking down, right, Ottles? 52:20.867 --> 52:23.468 Where were you when we paged you and called you half an hour ago? 52:23.488 --> 52:24.168 Sitting in the workshop. 52:24.688 --> 52:25.029 Drinking? 52:25.289 --> 52:25.429 No. 52:25.890 --> 52:26.090 No? 52:26.311 --> 52:26.791 No, water. 52:27.072 --> 52:28.574 Why, why, why, why then? 52:28.594 --> 52:29.956 I don't know, I'm just switching it away. 52:29.996 --> 52:31.919 Man, you shouldn't hassle Ockels otherwise he's just gonna work out. 52:31.939 --> 52:33.181 I'm trying to be sorry, Ockels. 52:33.241 --> 52:39.550 Listen, so, you know, seeing as, you're not the cause of this, but seeing as you, will you accept some responsibility? 52:39.690 --> 52:39.971 Oh yes. 52:40.151 --> 52:43.173 Yeah, okay, so, uh, maybe you- maybe he should make the choice. 52:43.673 --> 52:45.695 Okay, yeah, we could- maybe- Are you a country and western fan, Ockels? 52:45.735 --> 52:46.735 Come closer to the mic, Ockels. 52:46.755 --> 52:48.356 Yes, yes, do I- what choice do I have? 52:48.517 --> 52:53.400 Uh, do you want to hear, uh, Johnny Cash with Walk the Line, or Don Edwards, yeah? 52:53.420 --> 52:55.661 Uh, I suppose- am I supposed to pick Don Edwards? 52:55.681 --> 52:56.662 Have you heard of Don Edwards? 52:56.682 --> 52:56.722 No. 52:57.062 --> 53:01.485 Well, I'm just trying to compensate for the fact that you haven't heard him by making his name sound colourful and interesting. 53:01.505 --> 53:01.785 Yes, I see. 53:01.825 --> 53:02.626 With coyotes. 53:03.146 --> 53:03.927 Uh, okay, we'll try that. 53:04.267 --> 53:05.548 You haven't seen a film called Grizzly Man, have you? 53:05.568 --> 53:05.888 No, you can't, sir. 53:05.908 --> 53:06.228 No, I haven't. 53:06.589 --> 53:07.109 Oh, right, okay. 53:07.429 --> 53:09.891 She better choose Johnny Cash, because everyone's asking for Johnny Cash. 53:09.911 --> 53:10.952 Johnny Cash, I've heard of him. 53:11.192 --> 53:11.712 There you go. 53:11.732 --> 53:12.213 Nice tune. 53:12.573 --> 53:13.554 Well, go for Johnny Cash. 53:13.714 --> 53:15.395 And tell us some sort of anecdote. 53:16.336 --> 53:17.957 You can't just put Ockels on the spot with him. 53:17.977 --> 53:21.440 Well, I'm trying to make up for the fact that usually we have callers that say funny things. 53:21.500 --> 53:22.841 What's been going on lately? 53:23.041 --> 53:23.582 Ockels at home. 53:24.222 --> 53:25.822 Home had nothing too much really. 53:25.922 --> 53:29.723 I went off to do an XFM live gig on Thursday night and slept on Friday. 53:29.963 --> 53:31.484 Right, good stuff. 53:31.964 --> 53:37.045 Let Ockels off the hook and thank you very much indeed for talking to us and good luck with those phones. 53:37.065 --> 53:37.865 Brilliant name, Ockels. 53:38.646 --> 53:41.486 So, well, it's a walk over for Johnny Cash. 53:41.506 --> 53:45.547 All the people that have been texting in have gone for Johnny Cash, which is understandable. 53:45.667 --> 53:48.628 I must say that the song that Joe is going to vote for as well 53:49.108 --> 54:04.577 it's a beautiful song maybe maybe a free play next week absolutely that'll be good i saw grizzly man finally this week and it's brilliant i'd recommend it to anyone who hasn't seen it yet yeah it's absolutely extraordinary but uh to play us out this week it is johnny cash who's coming up after this southie do we know 54:05.819 --> 54:06.359 Is it Marsha? 54:06.379 --> 54:09.661 I haven't seen her lovely face yet in the corridors. 54:09.681 --> 54:18.426 Hey, thanks for listening everybody and thanks for everybody who's texted and emailed and we'll be back next week with another fun-packed two hours of radio. 54:18.986 --> 54:19.827 Of craziness. 54:20.207 --> 54:21.248 Yes, thank you very much indeed. 54:21.268 --> 54:21.908 Thank you, Ockels. 54:22.228 --> 54:34.718 And might I remind people that I am gradually putting up a few bits and pieces from these clips from the show, yeah, radio shows on my website, which is Adam-Buckston.co.uk. 54:34.758 --> 54:37.621 I've been sitting in my pants listening to them, listening to myself. 54:37.641 --> 54:38.442 It's a lovely image. 54:38.602 --> 54:39.322 Yeah. 54:39.422 --> 54:44.847 So if you're a fan, you can check out a few bits and pieces on there and we'll be with you again next week. 54:45.087 --> 54:46.068 Right now, here's Johnny Cash. 54:46.188 --> 54:47.049 We love you, bye. 54:47.129 --> 54:47.309 Bye. 55:05.281 --> 55:23.096 I keep a close watch on this heart of mine I keep my eyes wide open all the time I keep the ends out for the time it binds Because you're mine 55:24.066 --> 55:50.918 I walk the line I find it very, very easy to be true I find myself alone when each day's through Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you Because you're mine I walk the line 56:01.459 --> 56:17.051 As sure as night is dark and day is light I keep you on my mind both day and night And happiness I've known proves that it's right Because you're mine, I walk the line 56:27.370 --> 56:43.134 You've got a way to keep me on your side You give me calls for love that I can't hide For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide Because you're mine, I walk the line 56:53.526 --> 56:56.708 I keep a close watch on this heart of mine. 56:56.728 --> 57:00.951 I keep my eyes wide open all the time. 57:01.912 --> 57:05.174 I keep the ends out for the tie that binds. 57:05.955 --> 57:09.217 Because you're mine, I walk the line.