WEBVTT

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Oh, dear.

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Sorry, I was just logging on to the e-mails, checking the e-mails for the week.

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That's Joe Cornish logging on.

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Speaking of Joe Cornish speaking, and I accidentally hit the microphone with the corner of my headphones.

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I'm very sorry.

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Still, that's something to tell the kids one night.

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It's the kind of thing that goes on in here.

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It's really off the wall.

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Yeah, for the next one hour, 55 minutes, pretty much anything could happen, cos Adam and Joe are in the house.

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We've got, like, 10 million e-mails.

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Well, that's fantastic.

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We really do.

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Keep them coming.

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Great to be here.

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It's a lovely, lovely day.

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It's the beginning of spring, isn't it, basically, Joe?

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I don't understand.

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Nobody ever used to be this interested in us or our show.

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Well, man... What's going on?

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It's exciting.

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It's all happening.

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We're big.

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We're very big.

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Maybe it's one insane listener.

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It's just big.

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And it's so big I'm going to play the jingle.

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That sounds interesting Let's talk about it I always enjoy our little chats

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I never know what you'll say Did you see that dirty film with songs in?

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If you ask me it's just soft for porn I'm not sure about that new TV show Did you see that thing for charity?

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It was funny and they pledged money

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It's like a manifesto in song form.

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It is.

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Alex Zane has left a little bit of tissue covered in bits of blood on this deck.

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That's because he was playing Andrew WK at the end of his show there and he got overexcited.

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He's a bit manky.

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If only women out there think he's sexy, he's actually a bit manky.

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That's what they like.

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That's what they find sexy.

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Yeah.

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He's got a sexy musk about him.

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Good show, though, Alex.

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Thank you very much to you and your team.

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We never thank Alex enough, I feel, and he always does a good job.

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I'm not even sure you were listening.

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I was, I was.

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Yeah, it was very good.

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And it's really very good to be here this week.

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We've got lots to talk about, usual kind of competitions.

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We've got celebrity regression therapy this week.

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making a comeback, taking a break from, um, a crap commentary corner for- for a week, and we've got a fairly easy celebrity regression therapy.

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That's a bit later on this hour.

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Also, a few things I certainly want to talk about.

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Um, did you watch, uh, Red Nose Day yesterday?

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I don't necessarily want to talk about it very much, but just interested to- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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I think most- most of us listeners as well would've- would've watched a little bit of it.

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I watched some of the Little Britain, uh, special.

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Yeah?

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Mmm.

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Mmm.

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Mmm.

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Well, yeah.

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Yeah.

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It's amazing, isn't it?

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It just makes- seems to render everything unfunny.

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I thought Steve Coogan was quite good.

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But every time you sort of build up a laughter role, you get a film about suffering.

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Yeah, that's true.

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And it stops you from feeling funny.

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I mean, you turn over, though, don't you?

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What, during the films about suffering?

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Yeah.

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Yeah, I could- Or send the volume down.

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I was- actually had- didn't have the energy to actually raise my hand off the sofa.

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So you saw some suffering?

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I saw some suffering.

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Wow, well done.

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And it- just the other thing about chronic relief, it seems to me they're trying to do much.

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Er, do much, do too much.

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They should target the- the aid.

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It seems to be Africa, Britain, it's just everywhere, everywhere, they're helping everybody.

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Well they were specifying Africa and Britain yesterday.

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Why spread it so thinly so wide?

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Why not just target ten people and really change their lives right around palaces, limos, sexy prozzies, all the trimmings.

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So that's like the lottery though.

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Yeah.

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I'm suggesting a lottery.

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Yeah.

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that people donate to.

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However, I- I thought it was one of the better comic relief years.

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I thought it was really funny, lots of good stuff in there.

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Ricky Chabais was funny if- Steve I didn't see that with Bowie.

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Ricky Oh, no, I didn't see him with Bowie.

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Was he with Bowie?

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Steve Apparently David Bowie was making a small appearance just to come here.

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No, I just saw a little video diary with him being, uh, cynical and pretending that he'd gone to New York on the money that they'd- anyway.

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It was good, though.

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And I- I did enjoy it and I pledged some money.

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So there you go, I feel quite good about myself.

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Um, and, uh, other things I want to chat about this week.

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Uh, obviously the crazy frog censorship scandal.

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Yes.

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We should touch upon, as it were, and Jamie's Kitchen.

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Have you watched Jamie's Kitchen?

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Yeah, I have.

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You don't sound happy about it.

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No, I quite like it.

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It's quite good.

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I was quite surprised.

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We're talking about it later though, right?

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Yeah, we're going to talk about it later.

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And, er, I know this is the kind of thing that makes you, erm, upset, Joe, because everyone's been talking about it, but nine songs I really want to just chat about generally.

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Right.

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I don't have any specific acts to write.

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That's the song about shagging and listening to music.

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Yeah, the dirty film.

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The Michael Winterbuttocks film.

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Anyway, music now by, er, Caesars, and, er, you can find this song on an advert.

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We'll see you next week.

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Bye!

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Dude, that's Phantom Planet with California.

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It's from the O.C.

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Do that.

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Dude.

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O.C.'

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's awesome.

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I don't understand about Phantom Planet.

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I know Jason Schwartzman, star of Rushmore and I Heart Huckabees.

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I Heart Huckabees.

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Used to be their drummer.

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I don't think he is anymore, but he pops up on some of the videos.

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Is he even on the video for that song?

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No, he's not, is he?

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Wrong.

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Well, if just something that's got sick, something that's got stuck.

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Speaking of feeling sick and sexy, um, I'm going to go and see Nine Songs later on.

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Now, Nine Songs is Michael Windy-Buttocks's film about, uh, the two people who go and have, uh, see concerts, don't they?

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And then they have sex, and then they see concerts, and then they have sex, and it's only 60 minutes.

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Is it?

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It's under an hour, I do believe, yeah.

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And, uh, I think the woman in it, is she quite sexy?

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The poster's very sexy.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, she's lying on her back.

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What, her willy?

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Or his one, yeah.

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His one.

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No, the poster is quite sexy.

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And, uh, but I don't like the look of it.

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Why?

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Because I just want to fast-forward through the songs.

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Ooh.

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Well, you see, I'm, uh, I'm just going to be fast-forwarding through the sex jokes.

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I want to see the knockout performances by Franz Ferdinand.

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You want to see the knockers-out performances by the lady.

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And, uh, super furry animals, etc.

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You want to see her super furry animal and her knockers-out performance.

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Yeah.

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Now, I'm quite excited to see it.

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Really.

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Don't you think the problem, and listeners, you might want to contribute to this, remember, you can text us 83XFM, email us, Adam and Joe at XFM.co.uk.

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I don't like seeing dirty films in the cinema.

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Do you not?

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It's just uncomfortable.

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It's physically uncomfortable.

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Because you can't- I can't pleasure myself if I want to, and it just seems out of context.

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My guess is the cinemas will be fairly empty for nine songs, but then it'll fly off the shelves on DVD.

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Like that film, Secretary, about the kinky secretary.

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That stayed in the DVD charts.

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It's still in the top ten, isn't it?

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It's been out for two years.

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Has that got some worthwhile film?

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I don't know, haven't seen it, but everyone's buying it because it's got a bum and legs on the front.

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What's your favourite worthwhile film?

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Like, best sex scene in a film that you actually watch the whole of?

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The Lover, Jane Marsh.

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The Lover?

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Yeah.

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Is that actually good?

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Well, she's sexy and it's sexy.

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I tell you the director's technique for making it sexy, he made- it's directed by Jean Giacomo, the French guy.

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Yeah.

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Who made the bear and various other bits of nonsense and, uh, did he do Name of the Rose?

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I think he did Name of the Rose.

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Did he?

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That's got a good sex scene.

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That's got a very good sex scene, but in The Lover,

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He got her to sound like she was very aroused by running round and round and round and round the building before the scene started.

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So she was just out of breath.

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So he was chasing her.

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See, that was my out of breath sound, but it also sounded a bit sexy.

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Very arousing.

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So basically he just chased her and she was so frightened she was constantly running away.

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I'm not sure who felt the necessity to chase her, but she definitely ran round the building.

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Name of the Rose I would recommend to anyone who hasn't seen it.

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Not only as a good film, but as a very saucy scene that stands up today.

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Yeah, they're a bit stinky and dirty in Name of the Rose.

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I don't mind that.

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Dirty old Christian Slater as a dirty old monk and a- With a big tall patch shaved in his head.

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I don't know, that's how she speaks I think.

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Yeah, you're not impressed by that.

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It is quite good.

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Yeah, it is quite good.

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And have you seen, um, is it, what, Nick Park?

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Ken Park?

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T-Tommy Park?

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Ken Park's fantastic.

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Yeah, that's a Larry Clark film, but you can't get that legally in the UK.

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You have to get it on an imported Russian DVD.

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Ooh, Russian.

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Yeah, yeah.

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And is it a good film, though?

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Er, it's a terrific film.

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What's it about?

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I wouldn't say it was sexy.

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It's about, er, it's sort of a portmanteau film, portraits of, er, skate kids.

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A group of skate kids.

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A portmanteau?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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It's good, though.

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It's more troubling than arousing, but it's brilliant.

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Like most of Clark's films.

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I think Clark's a bit of a genius, apart from that one he made with James Woods, which is a stinker.

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What was that one?

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Er, James Woods, Melanie Griffith, Some Kid's Bum.

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That's all I remember.

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Was it called Some Kid's Bum?

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It might be called Some Kid's Bum.

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Can't remember what it's called.

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Well, anyway, I'm very excited.

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If anyone wants to come and see Nine Songs With Me this afternoon, they're welcome.

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I'm really excited.

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What sort of freak would take up that invitation?

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A girl.

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That's what I'm hoping.

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OK, sorry about that.

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This is Adam and Joe on XFM.

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I wanna cry.

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Oh, that's a little taster of something coming up later on.

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Wow.

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Did you recognize that, Joe?

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Yes, I did.

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OK, well, that's a tease.

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What's on Capitol?

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What is on Capitol?

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Not anything like that.

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This is Adam and Joe.

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We'll be back in a second.

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Oh, that's the bravery with an honest mistake.

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This is Adam and Joe on XFM.

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We've got, uh, first competition coming up very shortly, and it is gonna be celebrity regression therapy.

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What have we got to give away as prizes this week, Joe?

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We've got copies of The Motorcycle Diaries.

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Oh, that's good, isn't it?

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Haven't seen it.

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Yeah, I haven't seen it either, actually, yet.

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Supposed to be good.

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Supposed to be terribly good.

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And it's got, you know, a couple of guys on a bike pretending to be an airplane.

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Let's nick one.

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I've got it already, to be honest.

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Have you?

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Yeah.

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I might nick one.

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I haven't got round to watching it.

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Well, I hope, you know, if no one gets it right, the competition, I'll nick one.

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And then for Diddy's In The Dock, towards the end of the show, er, all the callers who get on air will win a copy of Screenwriters Masterclass, which is a book in which famous screenwriters talk about their greatest movies and the writing of them.

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All that seems to include Rushmore, so it'll have a Wes Anderson bit.

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Look, it's got good people.

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It's got, er, Three Kings and Election.

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That's Alexander Payne.

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Er, Three Kings directed by?

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Oh, Jimmy the Hoover.

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Jimmy the Hoover, exactly correct.

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Erm, what... Teddy Russell.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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David O, that's right.

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David O Russell, there you go.

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Er, yeah, that sounds like a good book.

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Erm, now, Joe, have you seen on TV an advert for a magazine called Full House?

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Yes, I have.

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Er, and it appears to have the song Our House by Madness

11:17.074 --> 11:21.215
rejigged to include lyrics specific to this new magazine.

11:21.576 --> 11:25.177
And what's more, it seems to be sung by Suggs himself.

11:25.197 --> 11:25.277
What?

11:25.657 --> 11:28.478
If you haven't heard it, here's his little earth match.

11:29.958 --> 11:42.683
Full House It's a magazine that's new Full House With true life stories just few Full House It's got top celebrities Full House

11:43.675 --> 11:47.619
and puzzles, all for 40 pay, soul house, etc, etc.

11:47.999 --> 11:49.200
That's extraordinary, isn't it?

11:49.240 --> 11:49.601
Wow.

11:49.781 --> 11:51.202
That's depressing though, don't you think?

11:51.643 --> 11:51.983
Yeah.

11:52.223 --> 11:56.888
I mean, I'm not all for, you know, I'm not bothered about selling out.

11:56.968 --> 12:04.255
We did our best to sell out a number of times, um, but I just feel bad for Suggs and surely, you know, I'd pay for him to

12:05.095 --> 12:13.563
Put on some gigs and stuff Well, you know what the biggest upset about that is it's that that's genuinely a good song that for me personally is meaningful Yeah from a meaningful time in my life.

12:13.803 --> 12:19.067
And now it's the song that's being that's the song that's being sold out Isn't it by Suggs not vice-versa?

12:19.328 --> 12:20.289
Yeah in my point of view.

12:20.309 --> 12:24.853
I don't mind what Suggs does He was on that channel 5 karaoke show wasn't he for years and years and years.

12:24.873 --> 12:31.098
That's right That was enough to strip him of and he didn't know any glamour or dignity but the song was still standing strong and

12:31.218 --> 12:36.523
I mean, I'm sure he doesn't care, and I'm sure there's lots of people moaning at him about it, but still, that's a bit low, isn't it?

12:36.703 --> 12:39.085
It'll be a whole generation of kids who won't know the original lyrics.

12:39.505 --> 12:42.548
They'll just know it's a magazine full of celebrities and chat.

12:43.369 --> 12:44.770
And prizes you can win.

12:44.790 --> 12:49.574
I was thinking of other Madness songs, maybe, that are gonna get turned into adverts.

12:49.614 --> 12:51.636
Maybe if people have got any ideas for...

12:52.336 --> 12:53.977
uh, adverts that Madness could do.

12:54.398 --> 12:57.880
They could, uh, email them to us or even phone us and sing them down the line.

12:57.900 --> 13:02.283
0 8 7 1 2 2 2 1 0 4 9 is the number to call.

13:02.943 --> 13:05.245
And the email address- Ricky and Steve singing.

13:05.305 --> 13:05.865
Ricky and Steve singing.

13:05.905 --> 13:06.525
Ricky and Steve singing.

13:06.705 --> 13:07.246
Ricky and Steve singing.

13:07.386 --> 13:08.226
Ricky and Steve singing.

13:08.267 --> 13:08.847
Ricky and Steve singing.

13:08.867 --> 13:09.607
Ricky and Steve singing.

13:09.627 --> 13:10.308
Ricky and Steve singing.

13:10.328 --> 13:11.208
Ricky and Steve singing.

13:11.268 --> 13:12.229
Ricky and Steve singing.

13:16.812 --> 13:18.753
Tampax, they call it Tampax.

13:19.654 --> 13:23.516
It's small and discreet, giving you confidence in the street.

13:23.996 --> 13:26.638
Tampax, Tampax, they call it Tampax.

13:26.938 --> 13:33.802
And the people from Tampax might like to get in touch with me about that because I think that's a very good idea and me and Suggs maybe could collect the money.

13:34.703 --> 13:36.644
But Joe, you know, just in case anyone

13:37.404 --> 13:39.584
thinks that we're being a bit snooty about this.

13:39.684 --> 13:43.565
As I said before, we have done our best to sell out in a similar sort of way.

13:44.005 --> 13:47.926
But we don't have the back catalogue, obviously, that Madness do, so for us it's a bit more difficult.

13:48.266 --> 13:52.207
But we did a song called The Robert De Niro Calypso on the Adam and Joe show.

13:52.767 --> 13:58.248
His name is Bobby, ah, Bobby De Niro, ah, et cetera, et cetera.

13:58.848 --> 14:05.569
And when we were approached by the people at Crunchy to maybe do a new jingle for them years ago,

14:06.329 --> 14:27.369
that was where we started and do you remember that yeah i've tried to forget it come on then you're gonna play it aren't you yeah let's get this over with here it is i wanna crunchy delicious and munchy honey comes so appealing gives me that friday feeling i wanna cry

14:29.511 --> 14:31.534
Well, no surprises, they didn't use that one then.

14:31.554 --> 14:32.575
No, they passed on that.

14:32.675 --> 14:37.962
And if you don't know our original Robert De Niro song, that'll be sort of meaningless, but it was a good attempt, wasn't it?

14:38.142 --> 14:44.931
Yeah, if you don't know our original Robert De Niro song, then I urge you to go out and buy the Adam and Joe DVD, and you'll find it on there.

14:45.131 --> 14:47.652
Listen, Dirty Scenes, do you mind if I interrupt with Dirty Scenes?

14:48.132 --> 14:53.695
People have been texting hand over, not necessarily fist, hand over something they've been texting in.

14:54.275 --> 14:56.496
We've had cruel intentions, which is correct.

14:56.516 --> 15:01.538
There's a fantastic bit of, I don't know how accurately I can describe this in the daytime families.

15:01.598 --> 15:01.978
Les Bojesness.

15:02.158 --> 15:03.319
No, it's not Les Bojesness.

15:03.859 --> 15:08.641
It's a man standing opposite a woman and then kneeling down.

15:09.597 --> 15:10.258
Very suddenly.

15:10.999 --> 15:16.685
Er, and then, so that's good, I agree, cruel intentions, and it's what, it's what's his face, er, blonde fella, what's his name?

15:16.705 --> 15:18.167
Er, Ryan Felipe.

15:18.187 --> 15:19.028
Ryan Felipe, that's correct.

15:19.629 --> 15:21.251
Sex and Lutea, apparently, I haven't seen that.

15:21.271 --> 15:21.751
Have you seen that?

15:21.791 --> 15:22.773
You like Tinto Brass.

15:23.273 --> 15:25.295
Oh, yeah, no, I- And his big-bottomed ladies.

15:25.396 --> 15:28.159
Big bottom, I haven't seen that one, no, I'm up for that.

15:28.419 --> 15:29.820
Might go and purchase that this afternoon.

15:29.840 --> 15:31.061
Er, Betty Blue is another nomination.

15:31.101 --> 15:35.383
Of course, a very exciting scene with the lady with the huge jugs at the beginning.

15:35.823 --> 15:40.666
And Bound, if you like, sort of slightly grotty, tattooed lesbians.

15:40.706 --> 15:41.707
Bound is a good one, yeah.

15:41.727 --> 15:42.767
You'll be excited here, Adam.

15:42.787 --> 15:44.868
You've had two offers to go and sing nine songs with you.

15:44.888 --> 15:45.489
Fantastic.

15:45.509 --> 15:47.410
First of all, from, er, Charlie Burn.

15:48.270 --> 15:58.914
who was born in 83, that makes her 22, and she wants to see it with you, and she's given you three X's, three kisses there, and a slightly less appealing one has come in by text.

15:59.855 --> 16:01.615
If you want to text us, you text 83XFM.

16:01.795 --> 16:03.316
She's messing around with my text there.

16:03.356 --> 16:04.336
Who's the lesser peeling one?

16:04.497 --> 16:08.799
Well, I was just about to justify that by reading it out, but someone's just meddling with my mouse.

16:09.259 --> 16:09.799
What was it?

16:09.899 --> 16:13.601
It says something like, I will go see, uh, Nun's songs.

16:13.661 --> 16:14.041
Oh, there we go.

16:14.341 --> 16:20.524
I'll see, letter C, nine songs with W-I-V-U-O-O-O-N from Croydon.

16:20.544 --> 16:22.685
Which I think is probably quite an old bloke.

16:22.905 --> 16:25.966
OK, well, we've got competition time coming up very shortly, so stay tuned.

16:26.006 --> 16:26.867
Right now, here's feeder.

16:30.182 --> 16:31.143
That is Fedor.

16:45.669 --> 16:49.911
So this week it's the return of celebrity regression therapy for just one week only, probably.

16:50.711 --> 16:53.252
While crap commentary corner takes a bit of a well-earned rest.

16:53.932 --> 16:56.413
And Joe, shall we begin?

16:56.533 --> 16:58.434
I'm going to be, well, would you like to explain?

16:58.774 --> 16:59.134
Why not?

16:59.314 --> 17:02.015
Yeah, I'm going to, I'm of course a trained hypnotherapist.

17:02.575 --> 17:10.618
I'm going to regress Adam into a hypnotic state where he's going to enter the mind of a famous actor or actress.

17:11.598 --> 17:15.780
I will then proceed to progress him into three of their films.

17:16.200 --> 17:20.362
So he'll wake up and he'll actually believe he's in those films and he'll describe what he sees around him.

17:20.762 --> 17:23.103
You listeners have to tell us who's

17:23.763 --> 17:28.027
brain he's been regressed into and which films he is witnessing.

17:28.348 --> 17:29.449
So stand by your phones, 0 8 7 1, 2 2 2, 1 0 4 9.

17:32.232 --> 17:34.114
Is this the motorcycle diaries we're giving away?

17:34.924 --> 17:36.625
Yes, we're giving away the motorcycle diaries.

17:37.146 --> 17:38.147
Uh, you might get one copy.

17:38.387 --> 17:40.589
If we really like you, you might get two copies.

17:41.029 --> 17:41.449
I don't know.

17:41.469 --> 17:43.351
We got three copies to give away, so I don't know quite what happened.

17:43.371 --> 17:45.733
And if you get it wrong, we'll pay for you to go and see Hitch.

17:46.173 --> 17:46.453
OK.

17:46.913 --> 17:47.054
What?

17:47.094 --> 17:47.654
Is that a prize?

17:48.054 --> 17:48.975
Uh, smack in the face.

17:49.095 --> 17:49.736
Like a punishment.

17:49.776 --> 17:50.236
That's what I said.

17:50.256 --> 17:50.396
OK.

17:50.416 --> 17:50.516
So, 087-122-1049.

17:50.536 --> 17:50.696
Uh, OK.

17:50.716 --> 17:51.877
Here we go, Adam.

17:51.937 --> 17:52.378
Are you ready?

17:52.398 --> 17:52.498
I am.

17:57.021 --> 17:59.682
Just relax if you want to do this as well, listeners.

17:59.742 --> 18:00.562
Just take a deep breath.

18:01.522 --> 18:02.303
Expand your stomach.

18:02.323 --> 18:04.383
Remember you breathe through your stomach, not through your chest.

18:04.403 --> 18:07.244
Push the stomach out and all the way in.

18:07.264 --> 18:08.444
Let all that wind escape.

18:08.804 --> 18:09.785
Just really relax.

18:11.225 --> 18:12.365
And now I want you to drift back.

18:12.405 --> 18:16.786
I want you to drift back to your fourth birthday, your third birthday, your second birthday, your first birthday.

18:16.806 --> 18:17.447
You're back in the womb.

18:17.807 --> 18:22.348
And now I want you to take yourself into the brain of a mysterious random actor or actress.

18:23.549 --> 18:28.514
and when I say wake up you will be in one of this actor actresses films wake up tell us what you see

18:30.106 --> 18:30.846
I'm flying.

18:31.867 --> 18:33.268
I'm on a- I'm on a plane.

18:33.868 --> 18:35.669
On my way to record a new album.

18:36.070 --> 18:36.670
And I'm drunk.

18:37.010 --> 18:39.992
I'm a drunk, drunky drinking man, and I love to drink.

18:40.352 --> 18:43.174
In the seat behind me is one of my crazy drunk drinking buddies.

18:43.454 --> 18:44.334
It's Billy Idol!

18:44.735 --> 18:46.796
No, this isn't the wedding singer.

18:47.196 --> 18:48.317
What do you mean I'm giving it away?

18:48.357 --> 18:50.378
Why don't you tell someone who could give you a sandwich?

18:50.758 --> 18:55.041
I'm going to my trailer, which incidentally is too tiny and badly decorated, you knocker!

18:56.962 --> 18:58.903
Okay, just breathe, just breathe, take a deep breath.

18:59.563 --> 19:01.826
Stay calm, take a deep breath, remember, 08712221049.

19:04.209 --> 19:08.895
We've got a brand new phone system, so call as soon as you recognise the film and the actor.

19:09.155 --> 19:11.538
Let's take Adam into another film, a second film, a different film.

19:12.019 --> 19:12.920
Wake up, tell us what you see.

19:13.140 --> 19:16.424
Oh freaks, freaks, I'm surrounded by hideous freaks.

19:17.105 --> 19:17.986
I'm in McFly!

19:18.226 --> 19:19.006
No, no, I'm joking!

19:19.227 --> 19:24.130
I'm in a deeply flawed but oddly compelling horror fantasy, and I'm dissatisfied with the director!

19:24.370 --> 19:25.311
I'm gonna fire him!

19:25.751 --> 19:28.493
And I can because I'm inexplicably powerful, do you hear me?

19:28.693 --> 19:29.394
Inexplicably!

19:29.754 --> 19:34.717
Now I'm off to watch a piano recital given by one of my enormous co-stars and his miniature friend!

19:37.654 --> 19:41.395
Okay, just breathe, just breathe.

19:41.415 --> 19:41.635
0-8-7-1-2-2-2-1-0-4-9.

19:41.975 --> 19:47.976
The second you realize who Adam has been regressed into and which films, let's take him to a third film.

19:47.996 --> 19:49.817
Tell us what you see.

19:50.477 --> 19:51.457
Oh, I'm in disguise.

19:52.137 --> 19:57.459
I'm in an amazing disguise, and I'm unrecognizable from my usual situation.

19:57.759 --> 20:01.059
And now I'm going to shoot some people with my ultra-modern gun.

20:01.079 --> 20:03.740
And that's going to be exciting because of my amazing disguise.

20:03.780 --> 20:09.827
The guy's powers and my acting range and the pounding techno music soundtrack of this brilliantly exciting modern film.

20:10.207 --> 20:11.829
What do you mean it's not exciting and modern?

20:12.049 --> 20:13.711
I'm gonna shoot you, you fruit basket!

20:13.992 --> 20:15.674
I can do what I want because I'm powerful!

20:15.974 --> 20:17.235
Get out of the way, you knocker!

20:17.396 --> 20:18.036
You're fired!

20:18.216 --> 20:19.097
Get me flapjacks!

20:19.298 --> 20:20.259
I want fingerpads!

20:20.479 --> 20:21.120
I'm powerful!

20:21.980 --> 20:23.021
Just breathe, just breathe.

20:23.061 --> 20:23.782
Try and relax, Adam.

20:23.802 --> 20:25.783
Come on, try and relax, relax, relax, relax, relax.

20:26.144 --> 20:27.965
OK, Adam's going to stay in a regressed state.

20:28.005 --> 20:33.549
We need you to call 08712221049 the second you recognize who that is.

20:33.589 --> 20:34.870
Well, it's too late now if you haven't.

20:34.930 --> 20:35.551
Is anyone calling?

20:36.412 --> 20:37.332
Yeah, we have some callers.

20:37.452 --> 20:37.733
OK, 08712221049.

20:39.834 --> 20:40.975
Adam will remain regressed.

20:41.175 --> 20:42.796
We'll come back to the phones right after this.

20:43.937 --> 20:44.398
XFM.

20:47.964 --> 20:52.708
And you join us midway into celebrity regression therapy quiz.

20:52.748 --> 20:55.991
Adam has been regressed into the mind of a famous actor or actress.

20:57.012 --> 21:00.715
He has witnessed scenes from three of their films.

21:01.796 --> 21:05.959
And we have two listeners on the line who think they know who the actor is and what the films are.

21:06.000 --> 21:07.621
When you speak to us, please keep your voice low.

21:07.641 --> 21:08.742
Adam is in a regressed state.

21:08.782 --> 21:14.146
If he is disturbed, you know, in the wrong manner, he could be traumatized mentally.

21:15.267 --> 21:16.308
for life.

21:16.888 --> 21:17.709
OK, do we have Pete?

21:17.729 --> 21:18.229
Hello, Pete.

21:18.789 --> 21:24.013
Good afternoon, X. Pete, just be a bit calmer with your voice, Pete, OK?

21:24.053 --> 21:25.854
This is a clinical environment.

21:26.454 --> 21:26.854
Thank you.

21:27.255 --> 21:31.677
Now, Pete, tell us which star you think... Wait a second.

21:31.777 --> 21:33.979
I want you to say the name of the star who you think Adam is.

21:34.079 --> 21:35.600
If you're correct, Adam will wake up.

21:36.100 --> 21:40.863
If you're wrong, he will stay regressed and you may have actually damaged his brain.

21:41.063 --> 21:41.523
Article.

21:41.663 --> 21:43.805
Pete, please say the name of the actor you think it is now.

21:44.565 --> 21:45.266
Jim Carrey.

21:48.189 --> 21:50.372
Oh dear Pete, what did you think the films were?

21:51.253 --> 21:56.178
Airplane, Living Dead, The Terminator.

21:56.479 --> 21:59.162
Okay, does it matter that Jim Carrey isn't in any of those films?

21:59.782 --> 22:00.924
Isn't he in Airplane?

22:01.324 --> 22:01.644
No.

22:02.125 --> 22:02.766
Okay.

22:03.288 --> 22:04.509
What was the second one?

22:04.549 --> 22:05.170
Night of the Living Dead?

22:05.650 --> 22:06.751
Living Dead, yeah.

22:07.131 --> 22:07.672
Which Living Dead?

22:07.692 --> 22:09.113
There's many different versions, different remakes.

22:09.293 --> 22:10.394
Any specific one?

22:10.414 --> 22:10.955
The first one.

22:11.635 --> 22:12.016
The first one.

22:12.036 --> 22:14.838
The original black and white 60s one when Jim Carrey would have been about 12.

22:14.978 --> 22:16.560
Would have been about 12.

22:17.020 --> 22:17.561
Not in that one.

22:17.761 --> 22:18.381
What was the third one?

22:19.302 --> 22:20.263
Terminator.

22:20.303 --> 22:21.024
Terminator.

22:21.184 --> 22:23.126
Tell us what Jim Carrey did in the Terminator, Pete.

22:23.706 --> 22:25.348
Wasn't he the boy on the bike?

22:29.326 --> 22:30.547
Oh, that's Edward Furlong, wasn't it?

22:30.687 --> 22:31.228
Wasn't it, Pete?

22:31.248 --> 22:31.628
Pete?

22:31.928 --> 22:35.351
Pete, listen, what'd you do for a living, mate?

22:35.572 --> 22:36.432
Mmmm.

22:37.694 --> 22:38.154
Get a lot of work?

22:39.384 --> 22:40.284
Er, say a bit.

22:40.624 --> 22:40.845
Yeah.

22:41.945 --> 22:45.606
Pete, that's kind of very, very wrong, but well done for being so amazingly wrong.

22:46.266 --> 22:46.347
OK.

22:46.547 --> 22:47.747
Thank you very much for calling.

22:48.467 --> 22:51.808
Er, yeah, I tell you what, shall we give him a copy of The Motorcycle Diaries anyway?

22:52.309 --> 22:58.271
And just study the cast list at the end and make sure, you know, maybe just put the names to the faces and everything.

22:58.851 --> 23:00.031
Pete, thanks so much for calling.

23:00.131 --> 23:04.253
We're going to give you a copy of The Motorcycle Diaries anyway, just to help with your brain.

23:05.053 --> 23:05.793
Do we have Zeb on the line?

23:05.813 --> 23:06.214
Hello, Zeb.

23:06.494 --> 23:07.094
Yeah, hi.

23:08.195 --> 23:09.896
My name's Joe, Adam's being regressed.

23:09.916 --> 23:11.038
Don't worry Zeb, often happens.

23:11.158 --> 23:12.059
Look, you've startled him a bit.

23:12.900 --> 23:15.362
If you keep your voice nice and calm, it is a clinical condition.

23:16.043 --> 23:16.804
He is regressed.

23:17.144 --> 23:19.887
Zeb, when I tell you to, please say the name of the actor who you think Adam is.

23:20.047 --> 23:20.567
Say the name now.

23:21.068 --> 23:21.849
Mal Kilmer.

23:23.911 --> 23:24.251
Zeb!

23:25.092 --> 23:26.413
You've got it right, you've got it right.

23:26.574 --> 23:27.615
Did you know the films as well?

23:30.549 --> 23:31.350
Yes, correct.

23:31.410 --> 23:31.830
That's right.

23:31.850 --> 23:37.014
That's the scene on the plane where Morrison is behaving badly and Billy Idol's playing one of his muckers sat behind him.

23:37.354 --> 23:37.815
Very good.

23:38.015 --> 23:38.975
What was film number two, sir?

23:39.276 --> 23:40.837
Island of Dr Moreau with Marlon Brando.

23:40.937 --> 23:41.918
Yeah, have you seen that one?

23:42.398 --> 23:43.359
I have seen it, yeah.

23:43.479 --> 23:45.020
It's not anything fantastic.

23:45.040 --> 23:45.861
Did you make it through to the end?

23:47.302 --> 23:48.743
I can't remember, but probably did.

23:48.983 --> 23:49.844
Can't remember.

23:50.044 --> 23:53.947
It sort of blends into nightmares, doesn't it, in many, many ways.

23:54.848 --> 23:56.189
And what was the last one, do you reckon, Seb?

23:58.257 --> 24:01.478
Of course, Val Kilmer and his incredible disguises.

24:01.518 --> 24:02.138
That's brilliant.

24:02.598 --> 24:03.198
Well done, Seb.

24:03.238 --> 24:04.458
That's very, very impressive.

24:05.198 --> 24:05.758
Now, what are we going to do?

24:05.778 --> 24:11.879
We've given the guy that didn't know anything a copy of The Motorcycle Diaries, and are we going to give Zeb now a copy of The Motorcycle Diaries?

24:11.899 --> 24:13.240
We should give him something else, shouldn't we?

24:14.380 --> 24:17.400
Well, um... No, but then you give him two, but Adam, you want to nick one.

24:17.420 --> 24:18.681
I was going to nick one.

24:18.701 --> 24:20.341
We could sell a tape of Penn or something.

24:20.361 --> 24:23.942
Zeb, are you happy with just one copy of The Motorcycle Diaries and for Adam to take your spare copy?

24:23.962 --> 24:24.422
Quite happy, yep.

24:24.622 --> 24:25.622
That's so generous of you.

24:25.642 --> 24:26.282
Thanks, Zeb.

24:26.542 --> 24:27.542
Listen, thanks for calling, Seb.

24:27.582 --> 24:28.203
Congratulations.

24:28.243 --> 24:31.964
That was a brilliant, er, brilliant interpretation of the, er, regression there.

24:32.004 --> 24:33.325
Got everything right, every detail.

24:33.485 --> 24:34.625
Nice piece of deduction, Seb.

24:34.685 --> 24:37.667
H- Are you, er, got anything fun lined up for Saturday?

24:37.687 --> 24:37.827
Mm.

24:38.647 --> 24:41.548
Er, I've got a week off next week, so I'm just gonna relax, er, completely.

24:41.949 --> 24:42.709
Gonna go crazy.

24:42.749 --> 24:43.009
Really?

24:43.029 --> 24:44.190
You should go and see a Jim Carrey film.

24:44.430 --> 24:44.970
He's in all of them.

24:46.475 --> 24:47.196
Yeah, exactly.

24:47.416 --> 24:49.378
Well, you were at the Terminator with Jim Carrey.

24:49.898 --> 24:52.080
Listen, Seb, thank you so much for your call and thanks very much.

24:52.120 --> 24:53.020
Was it Peach before?

24:53.541 --> 24:55.762
Yeah, it was Peach, even though that might not be his real name.

24:55.923 --> 24:57.984
OK, well, Pete, thanks so much for your call anyway.

24:58.004 --> 24:58.785
It was very nice to speak to you.

24:58.805 --> 25:00.946
I'm inferring that he doesn't actually know what his own name is.

25:01.027 --> 25:01.207
Right.

25:02.207 --> 25:03.548
This is Adam and Joe on XFM.

25:03.568 --> 25:05.009
Here's a free play for you right now.

25:05.049 --> 25:12.094
This is from the Fountains of Wayne's last album, Welcome Interstate Managers, which is a really good album.

25:12.394 --> 25:15.956
And this is a track tucked away towards the end called Super Collider.

25:16.236 --> 25:25.462
And it's a weird one because it sounds as if the Fountains of Wayne are doing an impression of Oasis doing an impression of some kind of mad psychedelic song.

25:25.522 --> 25:27.303
It sounds like Awful right now?

25:27.743 --> 25:28.544
Well, I really like it.

25:28.564 --> 25:30.025
You might hate it, but anyway, check this out.

25:33.263 --> 25:37.647
Blateman, Blateman, that is beast.

25:37.867 --> 25:38.127
What?

25:38.427 --> 25:40.129
I said Blateman, Blateman, that is beast.

25:40.189 --> 25:40.489
Blake.

25:41.009 --> 25:41.410
Blate.

25:41.790 --> 25:42.150
Blate.

25:42.471 --> 25:44.933
Adam, you are so square and old.

25:44.973 --> 25:46.614
What's the etymology of blate?

25:47.054 --> 25:47.675
What is the what?

25:48.155 --> 25:49.096
What does that mean?

25:49.116 --> 25:51.017
Do not call me that whatever you said, man.

25:51.498 --> 25:53.860
How many other words are incorporated in blate?

25:54.100 --> 25:54.780
I will blat you up.

25:55.181 --> 25:55.561
Blat?

25:55.961 --> 25:57.022
Yeah, I will blat you up.

25:57.363 --> 25:58.784
Because you are blate beast.

25:59.725 --> 26:00.745
I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.

26:00.865 --> 26:02.207
I've got to get out of the house more.

26:03.187 --> 26:04.488
Um, yeah, so listen.

26:05.028 --> 26:06.309
Um, the frog, man.

26:06.489 --> 26:07.189
The crazy frog.

26:07.569 --> 26:08.209
Crazy frog, yes.

26:08.229 --> 26:10.330
Which we talked about, uh, a few weeks ago.

26:10.350 --> 26:11.191
Some time ago, yeah.

26:11.671 --> 26:13.312
Um, the crazy- the crazy frog.

26:13.552 --> 26:15.133
Explain for people who don't know about the crazy frog.

26:15.153 --> 26:16.113
Everybody knows about the crazy frog.

26:16.133 --> 26:17.794
I don't think I need to explain it to be perfectly honest, Adam.

26:18.154 --> 26:22.356
OK, it's like a cartoon frog and he was advertising- By absolute promise- By absolute promise, yes.

26:22.436 --> 26:25.818
Everybody listening to this- I know, but I'm just reminding people about who it is.

26:25.838 --> 26:25.918
Yeah.

26:27.779 --> 26:32.524
Anyway, we were very impressed by the fact that you could originally see the Frog's little packet.

26:33.525 --> 26:34.666
His cartoon nutties.

26:35.086 --> 26:38.209
And now there's a great big black box over them.

26:38.369 --> 26:42.273
Because presumably someone has complained and the complaint has been upheld.

26:42.854 --> 26:43.915
But they're not going to pull the ad.

26:44.475 --> 26:45.136
So is that really true?

26:45.176 --> 26:47.017
Because that happened about a week after we spoke about it.

26:47.037 --> 26:50.319
A little black box appeared on the willy and frog nuts.

26:51.040 --> 26:52.841
And what that's to do with an actual complaint.

26:53.242 --> 26:55.804
Well I assume it is, unless it's just a little- I don't think it is, you see.

26:55.824 --> 26:56.924
You think it's a joke?

26:56.964 --> 26:59.406
No, I think it's drawing attention to the willy and balls.

26:59.827 --> 27:01.188
I think they're so brilliant.

27:01.348 --> 27:02.629
The, uh, what did I call them?

27:03.369 --> 27:06.231
Not scientists, irritists, I had a good word for them.

27:06.472 --> 27:08.133
But the people who devise that thing are geniuses.

27:08.533 --> 27:09.975
and they know how to twist it up.

27:10.256 --> 27:19.550
So it started off with the crazy frog, then they censored the nuts and Willy, and now, the nuts and zoo, and now they have turned it into a house track.

27:20.231 --> 27:21.352
That's twist number three.

27:21.893 --> 27:23.836
So first of all, William Ball's genius.

27:24.497 --> 27:32.543
second, censor the bits in order to make it even more erotic and provocative, because they're now concealed, twist three, make it into a house track.

27:33.083 --> 27:35.825
They've done the same with Sweetie the birdie, she's now a house track.

27:36.306 --> 27:40.229
And you know, was it, while Adam was away maybe, we had a competition for people to invent?

27:40.789 --> 27:44.652
You were here, and do you remember the winner was Turtle, Bertfart Turtle.

27:45.352 --> 27:55.098
And it burped out of its tail- no, it burped out of its mouth, farted out of its tail, and that would make it rotate, spin really fast, and it got faster and faster and exploded.

27:55.118 --> 27:56.419
That was the winner of our competition.

27:56.439 --> 27:57.400
It was a brilliant idea.

27:57.720 --> 28:00.662
There's one- the following week there was one very similar launched on television.

28:01.102 --> 28:02.763
A pig that burps and farts.

28:02.923 --> 28:03.404
No.

28:03.484 --> 28:03.664
Yeah.

28:04.024 --> 28:04.244
Yeah.

28:04.805 --> 28:06.185
That's more than a coincidence.

28:06.226 --> 28:07.927
It is more than a coincidence, isn't it?

28:08.027 --> 28:08.687
We should look into this.

28:08.707 --> 28:11.509
Someone is listening today who's ripped off one of our listeners.

28:12.010 --> 28:13.072
Ripped off our show.

28:13.492 --> 28:14.835
Flipping heck, Tucker.

28:15.216 --> 28:16.318
Tucking heck, grandpa.

28:16.338 --> 28:18.162
This is Adam and Joe on XFM.

28:18.182 --> 28:19.264
We'll be back very shortly.

28:19.284 --> 28:19.344
XFM.

28:23.004 --> 28:25.186
Yeah, that's Baby Shambles with Killer Man Joe.

28:25.246 --> 28:26.187
Brilliant song.

28:26.267 --> 28:27.308
Terrible pun.

28:27.348 --> 28:29.570
I just, it rankles every time I think about it.

28:30.411 --> 28:31.973
Killer Man for his gyro.

28:32.914 --> 28:35.716
When you're very, very high, it's the sort of thing that you think's really clever.

28:35.736 --> 28:37.258
I suppose that's true.

28:37.278 --> 28:38.779
When your brain's all fizzy with drugs.

28:39.040 --> 28:39.560
Crazy.

28:39.860 --> 28:41.642
This is Adam and Joe on XFM.

28:42.303 --> 28:45.446
So, Joe, you said earlier that you have been watching Jamie's Kitchen.

28:45.746 --> 28:49.129
I only watched my first one this week and I really got into it quite fast.

28:50.090 --> 29:04.942
And I was surprised because, you know, like a lot of people I think I have a certain amount of antipathy towards Oliver and his multi-million pound sort of Sainsbury's endorsing slobbery lifestyle.

29:05.582 --> 29:10.847
But I found myself really liking him quite quickly and just being so impressed by what he's doing.

29:10.987 --> 29:12.468
Yeah, well the thing is he's right, isn't he?

29:13.108 --> 29:17.772
Can I argue with the fact that he's right and we're shovelling rubbish into kids' mouths?

29:18.112 --> 29:23.336
For people who haven't seen the show, he is essentially sort of setting up a business.

29:23.876 --> 29:41.509
I'm not sure how he intends to make any profit from the business, or whether he does, but the business is to kind of retrain dinner ladies, you know, in as many schools as possible in England, to serve better food, basically, just to give children the option of eating stuff that isn't just a slice of congealed

29:41.869 --> 29:45.992
a hawk residue or something with chips, which is what they really like.

29:46.913 --> 29:54.619
And it's tough because none of the children really want to eat Jamie's delicious alternatives to begin with, do they?

29:54.639 --> 29:57.901
But after about nine months or something, some of them eventually give in.

29:58.482 --> 30:09.270
But don't you feel a bit depressed, Joe, by the attitudes of some of the kiddies who just absolutely flat don't want to try anything and say as much like, I don't like it, I don't like anything different.

30:09.790 --> 30:12.071
I want chips, I want burgers, I don't like anything different.

30:26.398 --> 30:27.579
It is rip-off Britain, isn't it?

30:27.619 --> 30:33.906
Basically this is a tiny country with about 20 amazingly rich people, uh, controlling everything.

30:33.926 --> 30:42.254
Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh

30:51.070 --> 30:52.211
Er, Jamie's Kitchen, that is.

30:52.311 --> 30:53.052
Oh, definitely, yeah.

30:53.112 --> 30:57.076
I think it'll probably end up with, er, some sort of constitutional change, even though we don't have a constitution.

30:57.116 --> 30:57.576
What do I mean?

30:57.877 --> 30:58.417
What's the word?

30:58.657 --> 30:59.819
Well, yeah, that's, that's good enough.

30:59.859 --> 31:03.022
He goes to the Prime Minister, he goes to Number 10 to, er... A legislative adjustment.

31:03.082 --> 31:11.930
I think there will be, if any, any politician worth his salt will just immediately adopt, do anything that Jamie says, cos he'll immediately get, like, how, how many people watch that show, like five million?

31:12.211 --> 31:13.992
He'll immediately get five million voters on his site.

31:14.112 --> 31:14.353
Yeah.

31:14.793 --> 31:15.574
That's the way to go, man.

31:15.834 --> 31:17.175
it's not a bad initiative though, is it?

31:17.195 --> 31:19.698
I mean, you'd have to be pretty nutty to argue against that.

31:19.718 --> 31:24.983
I mean, the idea that children are growing up eating that kind of stuff is pretty dreadful.

31:25.664 --> 31:28.386
Not that I remember what we necessarily had at school.

31:28.406 --> 31:30.028
All I remember is like, chips.

31:30.048 --> 31:31.770
I mean, everyone has chips, don't they?

31:32.490 --> 31:34.832
And spaghetti bolognese, I remember.

31:34.913 --> 31:40.258
Really stringy, tasteless spaghetti with the kind of bolognese sauce that leaks

31:40.678 --> 31:42.480
fluid, just a white fluid.

31:43.281 --> 31:46.985
It was really not very good and I wish we'd had Jamie in those days.

31:47.385 --> 31:50.008
So I'm pro Oliver now, I can't, I just can't help myself.

31:50.168 --> 31:50.648
I love him.

31:51.649 --> 31:53.431
Anyway, I don't know how you feel about that.

31:53.671 --> 31:54.372
I feel excited.

31:54.432 --> 31:55.733
Can I do some quick emails?

31:55.753 --> 31:56.234
Yeah, go on then.

31:56.594 --> 32:01.659
Er, we- Adam and I have agreed that we don't really read out enough emails because, er, our good listeners send in many, many, many.

32:01.679 --> 32:09.086
We were talking about Jason Sportsman earlier, er, and whether he appears in the video for The Phantom Planets, and, er, who has e- who has emailed us here?

32:09.427 --> 32:11.108
Er, Dominique Deni- wow, what a name!

32:11.128 --> 32:12.490
Dominique Deni-mon.

32:13.311 --> 32:16.714
Er, Jason Sportsman is not the drummer anymore, but he does appear in the Les Mars video for California.

32:17.214 --> 32:19.557
Makes sense, as he co-wrote the song with Alex Greenwald.

32:20.037 --> 32:20.237
Yeah?

32:20.778 --> 32:21.538
Did you know that?

32:21.599 --> 32:22.599
Little bit of information for you.

32:23.240 --> 32:25.722
Read the Fountains of Wayne song, which was your free play, was it, Adam?

32:25.742 --> 32:26.723
Just a moment ago.

32:26.803 --> 32:27.524
Never play it again.

32:27.844 --> 32:29.966
It sounds like a spitting image parody of an Oasis song.

32:30.186 --> 32:30.727
Just awful.

32:30.907 --> 32:32.829
Play some Interpol, says Christian Braid.

32:33.570 --> 32:35.992
But they sound like a spitting image parody of Joy Division.

32:36.272 --> 32:39.554
Re, your invitation for young ladies to join you with a screening of nine songs.

32:40.415 --> 32:42.496
Uh, there's a lady called M Green.

32:42.676 --> 32:49.021
M Green, uh, says she's gonna join you and Charlie, who we already mentioned, when you go and see nine songs, he's gonna come down from Brighton.

32:49.241 --> 32:50.081
So there's two ladies.

32:50.482 --> 32:53.223
You know, one for each of your- I can have a man-witch.

32:53.243 --> 32:53.744
Yeah.

32:54.424 --> 32:59.428
Uh, and then also- oh no, that's M Green, who also asks us, Adam and Joe, if you were a lesbian, would you be butch or fem?

32:59.828 --> 33:00.528
Please give reasons.

33:00.888 --> 33:05.932
I would be fem, cause I'm quite a lady-like man, and Adam would be butch, cause he's quite a hairy man.

33:06.872 --> 33:07.733
A hairy butch man.

33:08.333 --> 33:09.994
You didn't think about that for very long, did you?

33:10.154 --> 33:11.535
No, it's a pain in the obvious, isn't it?

33:11.575 --> 33:15.257
I mean, you'd look rubbish as a sexy girl and not look terrible as a butch.

33:15.977 --> 33:16.737
Well, I shaved.

33:16.757 --> 33:16.837
Yeah.

33:16.857 --> 33:19.599
I always played the girl in our... Yeah, cos it was comedy.

33:19.699 --> 33:20.399
..when we did lady things.

33:20.419 --> 33:21.400
Supposed to look stupid.

33:21.420 --> 33:23.001
I looked sexy in a lot of those things.

33:23.121 --> 33:23.361
I didn't.

33:23.581 --> 33:23.861
OK.

33:24.381 --> 33:25.002
Couple more emails.

33:25.022 --> 33:26.122
Dominic Farrants has emailed us.

33:26.142 --> 33:27.183
Have we seen the film Old Boy?

33:27.223 --> 33:27.823
I recommend it.

33:28.363 --> 33:29.144
I shouldn't have read that one.

33:29.184 --> 33:30.264
It's a bit inconsequential, isn't it?

33:30.284 --> 33:31.445
Yeah, Old Boy's fantastic.

33:31.925 --> 33:32.986
Film of the year for me last year.

33:33.966 --> 33:34.406
Er, and that's it.

33:34.426 --> 33:42.830
And finally someone else slagging off Suggs, saying he advertises- he advertises one of the retail bank's insurance companies and if you phone them up, it's him doing the sorry please hold message.

33:43.651 --> 33:44.531
That's rough, man.

33:44.571 --> 33:48.373
Suggs, I'll give you- let's have a fundraiser for Suggs so he doesn't have to do any more ads.

33:49.013 --> 33:52.995
Right, this is, er, Green Day with Holiday and check this out, it's amazing.

33:53.035 --> 33:55.096
There's a little note here that says sell the next song.

33:55.456 --> 33:57.998
So I'm really trying to sell it but I haven't heard it that much.

33:58.078 --> 34:02.920
I do know that it's from their excellent album American Idiot and, er, I'm sure it's very good.

34:07.025 --> 34:07.726
What was that one then, Ad?

34:07.906 --> 34:09.908
That was the green day with Holliday.

34:10.028 --> 34:10.368
Terrific.

34:10.408 --> 34:15.793
Now apparently Jamie Oliver has affected legislation according to one of our texters, Richard from Luton.

34:16.053 --> 34:20.637
He got a whole twelve pence extra per meal per child for school dinners from the government.

34:20.957 --> 34:21.558
Well that's good.

34:23.239 --> 34:24.060
That amounts to a lot.

34:24.220 --> 34:25.041
Couple of brussels sprouts.

34:25.649 --> 34:32.395
No, obviously individually it's not very much, but no, when you apply it to the budget of the school that a school has to feed their children, that's a lot of money.

34:32.535 --> 34:34.477
Just paint faces on good food.

34:34.877 --> 34:35.898
That is the secret, yeah.

34:35.938 --> 34:49.249
Just put legs, arms and faces on all the healthy food and smiley things, have tie-in cartoon series on CBBC, The Radishes, Happy Salad, Trevor the Cucumber, all that kind of crap.

34:49.529 --> 34:51.751
The kiss will go crazy for it, that's the answer.

34:51.771 --> 34:53.593
I think that's been tried, I don't know, but...

34:54.033 --> 34:56.055
Well, the Veggietales, they did it with Christianity.

34:56.515 --> 34:57.336
The Veggietales?

34:57.356 --> 34:59.638
Yeah, the Veggietales are Christian vegetables.

34:59.798 --> 35:00.619
They're huge.

35:00.859 --> 35:02.420
Lots of listeners will know what I'm talking about.

35:02.661 --> 35:02.801
Wow.

35:02.821 --> 35:06.864
And they brought Christianity and vegetarianism to many intelligent, sophisticated kids.

35:07.265 --> 35:09.447
Come on, parents of Britain, pull your socks out!

35:10.256 --> 35:10.936
Yeah, well said.

35:10.956 --> 35:11.677
Yeah, thanks mate.

35:11.817 --> 35:13.878
Oh, I've forgotten what I was going to say, whatever I was going to say.

35:14.478 --> 35:27.284
So, I was thinking this week, I was trying to guess some News of the World headlines, specifically film reviews, and I was wondering, the new Willy Wonka film, what will the headline for the review, the News of the World review be?

35:27.304 --> 35:28.925
Uh, Wonka Load of Rubbish.

35:29.625 --> 35:30.185
Very good.

35:30.445 --> 35:31.306
Very good, Buxton.

35:31.366 --> 35:31.706
Sharp.

35:32.186 --> 35:32.767
Off the block.

35:32.827 --> 35:33.027
Yeah.

35:33.247 --> 35:35.288
If it's good, Bonkers Wonka's a stonker.

35:35.968 --> 35:37.229
Ricky and Steve laugh

35:55.816 --> 35:57.477
Hey, do you want to introduce your free play?

35:57.497 --> 36:01.778
Now, seeing as we've had that pretty harsh text about mine, I don't hold much hope for yours.

36:01.838 --> 36:02.118
OK, man.

36:02.238 --> 36:05.999
Well, I'm not going to tell you who it's by, but this is a brand new song by a hot new band.

36:06.260 --> 36:06.980
It's called Urges.

36:07.620 --> 36:08.700
You have to say who it's by.

36:08.720 --> 36:09.141
No, I'm not.

36:09.161 --> 36:11.161
This is a brand new song by a hot new band.

36:11.421 --> 36:12.162
It's called Urges.

36:12.422 --> 36:12.802
Hit it.

36:12.922 --> 36:13.042
OK.

36:18.752 --> 36:19.513
Yeah, of course.

36:19.613 --> 36:20.894
Actually, this record is extremely old.

36:20.954 --> 36:21.655
It's by Thomas Dobie.

36:21.695 --> 36:22.356
It's called Urges.

36:22.836 --> 36:24.018
I think it's even a B-side, isn't it?

36:24.078 --> 36:24.979
By the D-dobbles.

36:25.179 --> 36:25.419
Yeah.

36:25.800 --> 36:26.380
Yeah, there we go.

36:26.440 --> 36:27.161
Dobby the house elf.

36:27.261 --> 36:28.582
Do you get any good comments on that one?

36:28.763 --> 36:29.443
Oh, I got crap.

36:29.483 --> 36:29.884
Turn it off.

36:30.004 --> 36:30.404
From Dunk.

36:31.045 --> 36:31.506
But there you go.

36:31.526 --> 36:31.906
You know what?

36:31.926 --> 36:34.609
For everybody who sends in a nasty email, there's a thousand people who love it.

36:34.909 --> 36:35.330
Yeah, exactly.

36:35.370 --> 36:40.515
But are too nice to, you know, just too busy and too intelligent to bother, you know, texting a show like this.

36:41.796 --> 36:42.737
Ah, good ending, you see.

36:42.797 --> 36:43.757
I think it's a great record.

36:43.797 --> 36:45.778
It's about something one can relate to.

36:45.878 --> 36:47.439
It's got a tune and stuff like that.

36:47.499 --> 36:51.522
And it contains the line, Try to contain the stuff that's in your body.

36:51.942 --> 36:52.842
That's a good line, man.

36:53.022 --> 36:54.303
They don't write them like that anymore.

36:54.723 --> 37:02.007
So remember, if you want to win the Virgin Megastores album of the week, then you just have to listen to Sean Keeney on Monday from 10am, as he's going to be giving it away.

37:02.067 --> 37:04.589
It's the Stereophonics with language, sex and violence.

37:05.249 --> 37:10.052
And if you want to win a copy of that, you can go to www.xfm.co.uk.

37:10.072 --> 37:15.054
That's a special promotional tie-in competition with Virgin Megastores and their Album of the Week.

37:15.094 --> 37:15.854
That's exciting stuff.

37:15.874 --> 37:16.615
You might enter that, Adam.

37:17.015 --> 37:17.775
Yeah, definitely.

37:18.036 --> 37:19.216
Stereophonics are my favourite band.

37:19.236 --> 37:20.137
I'm glad they're number one.

37:20.517 --> 37:22.918
And I love Kelly Jones.

37:22.978 --> 37:25.860
He's very handsome and he's got a lovely raspy voice.

37:26.320 --> 37:27.300
This is Adam and Joe on XFM.

37:27.320 --> 37:28.141
We'll be back shortly.

37:28.161 --> 37:29.721
XFM.

37:32.659 --> 37:33.760
Oh my God, I can't believe it.

37:34.320 --> 37:35.882
I've never been this far away from it.

37:35.902 --> 37:37.423
Oh my God, I can't believe it.

37:48.812 --> 37:49.332
And you know what?

37:49.393 --> 37:51.254
Someone said it sounded very like bandages.

37:51.334 --> 37:52.055
Hot, hot heat.

37:52.295 --> 37:53.576
It's true, it does sound a bit like that.

37:53.596 --> 37:58.660
Yeah, and you know, you guys, you just have to open your mind to music from the past.

37:58.720 --> 37:59.761
I can see Justin Lee Collins!

38:00.321 --> 38:02.923
Oh my God, the big hairy conflate yeti man.

38:03.043 --> 38:04.664
I can see Justin Lee Collins.

38:04.985 --> 38:12.991
So coming up quite soon is Dizzy's In The Dock, and we can exclusively reveal that this week's category is Songs Are Based On Real Events.

38:13.411 --> 38:29.902
right historical events of importance correct well not necessarily important but well known well known events like you know actual songs inspired by actual events you should go into politics i'm not changing the old post songs inspired by actual events yep

38:30.402 --> 38:34.246
OK, so we'll be unveiling our choices very shortly.

38:35.867 --> 38:40.511
You know, in the Kaiser chief song, he says that he's gonna come back stronger than a powered-up Pac-Man.

38:41.452 --> 38:43.034
That's not that strong, is it?

38:43.634 --> 38:44.375
Powered-up Pac-Man.

38:44.415 --> 38:45.516
Depends how many lives he's got.

38:45.656 --> 38:48.839
I mean, it's strong for about three seconds.

38:48.919 --> 38:50.721
Yeah, it alliterates nicely, though, doesn't it?

38:51.321 --> 38:52.182
Yeah, that's true, it does.

38:52.202 --> 38:52.643
Powered-up Pac-Man.

38:53.063 --> 38:54.845
Oh, we've had a text saying, is layer cake worth spending £18 on?

38:54.865 --> 38:54.905
No.

38:56.346 --> 38:57.247
Oh, do you reckon not?

38:57.507 --> 38:58.067
Did you watch it?

38:58.167 --> 38:58.528
Yeah.

38:58.748 --> 39:00.950
I didn't think it was so bad, actually.

39:00.970 --> 39:01.890
It was distinctly average.

39:02.271 --> 39:02.951
Layer cake.

39:03.411 --> 39:04.492
Layer cake.

39:04.552 --> 39:08.455
The whole notion of the layer cake is fairly badly crowbarred in there.

39:08.675 --> 39:11.718
I tell you what, my new criteria for films, is there anything in it that you haven't seen before?

39:14.991 --> 39:24.893
Any single element in layer cake that is not done similarly or better in another film I warrant the answer is no No, I think you're probably right.

39:25.133 --> 39:32.756
Yeah, but but it does it's unoriginal rubbish pretty much better than a lot of people I tell you a shocker I saw the other day.

39:33.036 --> 39:37.577
What was that Bridget Jones edge of reason, but that's supposed some people say it's better than the first one my

39:39.780 --> 39:41.301
I'd heard that it was exactly the same.

39:41.321 --> 39:42.701
Oh, my God.

39:42.741 --> 39:43.681
What were you thinking?

39:43.701 --> 39:52.203
I was thinking, that girl who Bridget Jones thinks Colin Firth fancies is really hot, is what I was thinking.

39:52.283 --> 39:52.563
Right.

39:52.923 --> 39:54.684
You just wanted to look at an attractive woman.

39:54.744 --> 39:59.545
No, no, no, no, renting it out, I thought, cos I really like Bridget Jones, one, I thought I'd have a laugh with number two.

40:00.245 --> 40:10.158
romantic evening, you know, some chocks, some chocks, yeah, a bar of galaxy, a copy of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, and a DVD of Bridget Jones.

40:10.299 --> 40:12.301
Maybe play the crossword from Full House magazine?

40:13.243 --> 40:15.025
Colin Firth should have got the Best Actor Oscar.

40:15.586 --> 40:17.168
For making it right the way through there.

40:18.369 --> 40:26.315
marginally conceivable that he might be attracted to an insane demented human pillow woman that was Bridget Jones.

40:27.075 --> 40:27.635
Oh, dear.

40:28.156 --> 40:28.456
Awful.

40:28.496 --> 40:31.238
And then the final indignity of that hot chick fancying her.

40:31.258 --> 40:32.299
Honestly.

40:32.319 --> 40:34.800
I haven't seen The Edge of Reason because I'm not demented.

40:35.881 --> 40:38.002
I can't believe it.

40:38.023 --> 40:44.347
If you're a woman and you watch Bridget Jones, The Edge of Reason, and you identify with any element of that character, you're mad.

40:45.225 --> 40:48.208
Are you presumably going to see Miss Congeniality 2 then?

40:48.328 --> 40:49.449
No, I haven't seen number one.

40:49.669 --> 40:51.230
Well, don't see that.

40:51.610 --> 40:54.072
I can't believe you saw The Edge of Reason.

40:54.373 --> 40:57.996
I did see Miss Congeniality 1 and it was just torture.

40:58.016 --> 40:59.957
Bridget Jones' The Edge of Reason made millions.

40:59.997 --> 41:01.919
It was one of the highest-grossing films of the year last year.

41:02.099 --> 41:04.601
Well, people say it's as good as the first one.

41:04.801 --> 41:05.842
Meet the Fockers.

41:05.902 --> 41:06.463
Have you seen that?

41:06.783 --> 41:07.684
No, not bothered about that.

41:07.744 --> 41:09.445
Almost entirely laugh-free.

41:09.705 --> 41:09.965
Yeah.

41:10.065 --> 41:11.567
Highest earning comedy of all time.

41:11.667 --> 41:11.827
Is it?

41:11.847 --> 41:12.788
That's happening to the world.

41:13.288 --> 41:14.109
What's going on?

41:14.229 --> 41:15.650
Because the first one was really good.

41:15.810 --> 41:16.891
Me, the parents, was great.

41:17.051 --> 41:18.432
Yeah, this one isn't.

41:18.933 --> 41:19.253
No.

41:19.273 --> 41:21.435
You've made even more money.

41:21.715 --> 41:22.216
Stay away.

41:22.236 --> 41:22.996
Look, we're telling you.

41:23.717 --> 41:24.577
Stay away from them.

41:24.718 --> 41:25.378
Don't buy their cake.

41:25.398 --> 41:27.460
Stay away from them.

41:27.480 --> 41:28.801
But what about the British film industry?

41:28.861 --> 41:30.663
But Adam's recommending Alien vs Predator.

41:30.843 --> 41:33.185
Yeah, I didn't like Alien vs Predator.

41:33.325 --> 41:35.046
It's all about lowering your expectations.

41:35.426 --> 41:35.947
That's the thing.

41:36.127 --> 41:41.376
Coming right up, did it in the dark, stand by your phones, you could win a copy of the screenwriter's masterclass.

41:41.656 --> 41:44.401
Fascinating interviews with top directors about their screenwriting craft.

41:44.601 --> 41:49.289
It's not exactly a prize that, I mean it's a brilliant book, I can't see every listener wanting it.

41:50.020 --> 41:50.720
Oh, it's good, man.

41:50.800 --> 41:51.221
It's a good book.

41:51.241 --> 41:51.961
Do you think this is a book?

41:52.121 --> 42:00.846
I guess everyone will know someone who wants to get into the film biz and will be interested in how, you know, good directors write their stuff, and it is a genuinely good selection of directors.

42:01.426 --> 42:04.848
Well, here's a song for you right now, vaguely related to the world of acting.

42:04.868 --> 42:05.708
For me?

42:05.968 --> 42:06.929
It's for you, yeah.

42:06.949 --> 42:07.449
Oh, thanks, man.

42:07.469 --> 42:08.990
It's your favourite band, Foo Fighters.

42:09.010 --> 42:09.610
Oh, brilliant.

42:09.650 --> 42:17.454
And it's called Stacked Actors, and it's really an angry song, apparently inspired by Courtney Love and other similar types of acting people.

42:17.754 --> 42:19.055
After this, we've got Ditties in the Dock.

42:23.061 --> 42:26.226
They fooled around with the dirty words in there to make them unoffensive.

42:27.107 --> 42:28.950
That was Stacked Actors by Foo Fighters.

42:28.970 --> 42:29.330
Stick around.

42:29.350 --> 42:29.991
This is Adam and Joe.

42:30.011 --> 42:31.593
We've got Dizzy in the Dark coming up after this.

42:32.575 --> 42:32.875
XFM.

42:37.898 --> 42:44.801
Time for Ditches in the Dock now, we're battling it out for who gets to play the last song of the show, and this week it's songs inspired by real life events.

42:44.821 --> 42:45.921
Do you wanna go first or shall I, Joe?

42:46.541 --> 42:48.502
I'm gonna go first, I'd like to go first.

42:48.582 --> 42:48.962
Go on then.

42:49.002 --> 42:54.444
Okay, I'd also like to say that I had about an hour to pick a song, I've been working very hard all week, I didn't get home till about 10.

42:55.365 --> 42:58.626
So I've come up with Shipbuilding by Elvis Costello.

42:58.666 --> 42:59.306
Good choice.

42:59.366 --> 43:00.587
It's a fantastic record.

43:01.247 --> 43:05.709
It was originally recorded by Robert Wyatt, but I believe Costello altered the lyrics

43:06.289 --> 43:07.770
to... Costello wrote it.

43:07.810 --> 43:08.870
Robert Wyatt covered it.

43:09.250 --> 43:09.670
God bless you.

43:09.790 --> 43:10.211
There we go.

43:10.271 --> 43:10.731
Are you sure?

43:10.831 --> 43:10.971
Yeah.

43:11.371 --> 43:12.111
OK, thank you very much.

43:12.151 --> 43:14.992
It says here shipbuilding was first recorded in 1983 by Robert Wyatt.

43:15.032 --> 43:16.253
Yeah, but Costello wrote it.

43:16.473 --> 43:17.053
OK, brilliant.

43:17.133 --> 43:35.160
OK, well, his own, Costello's own version was on his album Punch the Clock and it's of course inspired by the Falklands War and his anger at what would happen when the sons of the people who worked in the shipyard were, you know, taken off and killed in the Falklands and then the government obviously had to have more ships

43:35.780 --> 43:38.121
to replace the ship should have been blown up over there.

43:38.681 --> 43:44.784
It's got brilliant lyrics, it's got an amazing trumpet on it, performed by the famous Chet Baker.

43:45.324 --> 43:50.046
It's just one of the most beautiful protest songs ever written and, you know, just fantastic.

43:50.466 --> 43:53.027
Are you playing the Robert White or Elvis Costello version?

43:53.047 --> 43:55.929
I'm playing the Costello versions, it's the one I personally know and love.

43:55.949 --> 43:56.429
So there we go.

43:56.769 --> 44:01.151
Joe Cornish's record this week is Shipbuilding by Elvis Costello.

44:01.531 --> 44:02.672
OK, that's a very good choice.

44:02.812 --> 44:07.534
I'm going for a, uh, Frank Black track, and it's called St.

44:07.574 --> 44:08.914
Francis Dam Disaster.

44:09.694 --> 44:10.175
Uh, or St.

44:10.195 --> 44:12.196
Francis Dam... I can't even pronounce it.

44:12.416 --> 44:12.616
St.

44:12.656 --> 44:13.996
Francis Dam Disaster.

44:14.416 --> 44:24.181
Now, uh, on this night, on this very night, March the 12th, 1928, billions of gallons of raging flood waters burst through the St.

44:24.261 --> 44:24.801
Francis Dam.

44:25.081 --> 44:26.081
Are you reading this?

44:26.221 --> 44:26.401
No.

44:27.202 --> 44:28.642
Uh, I'm recalling it from memory.

44:28.662 --> 44:29.723
A terrific turn of phrase.

44:30.123 --> 44:30.583
The St.

44:30.643 --> 44:37.025
Francis Dam burst its walls and thousands of homes were damaged or totally destroyed.

44:37.085 --> 44:39.866
Bridges were wiped out, power was knocked out all over the area.

44:39.946 --> 44:40.666
How annoying.

44:40.706 --> 44:43.047
The death toll, man, I've got a death toll here.

44:43.067 --> 44:43.447
Sorry mate.

44:43.967 --> 44:47.628
The death toll was more than 450 people who perished in the St.

44:47.648 --> 44:48.728
Francis Dam disaster.

44:49.008 --> 44:51.969
It was California's second largest disaster.

44:52.129 --> 44:52.369
When?

44:52.669 --> 44:53.170
Sorry, when?

44:53.410 --> 44:53.470
In 1928.

44:53.510 --> 44:53.770
28, okay.

44:53.830 --> 44:55.390
And it was the greatest American

44:58.411 --> 45:21.254
civil engineering failure of the 20th century only the san francisco earthquake and the fire of 1906 claimed more lives listen i didn't do that when you were talking about shit sorry mine wasn't as funny it's not funny 450 people died in the 20s anyway it's an amazing song what in the 20s why does it matter that it's in the 20s because you can't remember them anymore yeah no one who knows them is alive anymore

45:21.254 --> 45:23.135
That's the kind of Jim Cameron Titanic logic.

45:23.336 --> 45:23.716
Brilliant.

45:24.036 --> 45:25.517
Anyway, it's a wonderful song.

45:25.557 --> 45:33.303
Frank Black has got an amazing turn of phrase and provides a stirring telling of the events.

45:33.443 --> 45:37.386
So there we go.

45:37.406 --> 45:42.550
0-8-7-1-2-2-2-1-0-4-9-0-8-7-1-2-2-2-1-0-4-9 Vote for Shipbuilding by Elvis Costello or Frank Black with... Saint Francis' Damned Disaster.

45:42.570 --> 45:45.972
And you could win a superb book telling you how to write a hit film and be a millionaire!

45:45.992 --> 45:47.774
We'll be back with a winner after the Kings of Leon.

45:54.281 --> 45:54.481
What?

45:54.761 --> 45:55.282
What was he saying?

45:55.342 --> 45:56.143
I talked to Rolo.

45:56.363 --> 45:57.284
I've got to Rolo.

45:57.624 --> 45:59.465
I've got some Rolo's.

45:59.786 --> 46:01.767
So listen, we're pressed for time.

46:01.787 --> 46:02.608
This is in the dock.

46:03.609 --> 46:08.113
It is shipbuilding by Elvis Costello versus the Pixies with- No.

46:08.153 --> 46:09.394
There was a big flood or something.

46:09.674 --> 46:11.696
Sorry, Frank Black with- Frank Black with St.

46:11.736 --> 46:13.037
Francis Dime Disaster.

46:13.297 --> 46:14.637
So it's Black versus Costello.

46:14.677 --> 46:16.138
We've got five callers on the line.

46:16.178 --> 46:16.998
It's the best of five.

46:17.038 --> 46:21.560
Every caller that comes on Airwinds a fantastic book all about brilliant, fascinating screenwriting-type things.

46:22.620 --> 46:27.402
Now, when we ask for a caller, if all callers could speak, only one of you will be audible.

46:28.182 --> 46:28.442
Oh, no.

46:28.482 --> 46:28.742
Hello.

46:29.162 --> 46:29.523
Scrap that.

46:29.563 --> 46:30.163
We've got the names.

46:30.503 --> 46:31.263
Paul on line one.

46:31.303 --> 46:31.583
Are you there?

46:31.603 --> 46:32.103
Hello, Paul.

46:32.644 --> 46:32.744
Hiya.

46:32.804 --> 46:33.584
How you doing, Paul?

46:34.064 --> 46:34.544
I'm good, thanks.

46:35.364 --> 46:37.385
Are you going to write a screenplay when you get this book?

46:38.225 --> 46:39.046
I'm not, no.

46:39.086 --> 46:39.946
You're not, no.

46:40.006 --> 46:40.086
OK.

46:40.186 --> 46:42.487
Are you going to give it to someone who might be writing a screenplay?

46:43.838 --> 46:46.960
No, I won a prize with Sarah Darling so I shouldn't really get the prize.

46:47.500 --> 46:48.480
You don't want the prize?

46:49.461 --> 46:51.722
I do, but I already won the tickets to New Order.

46:51.742 --> 46:53.782
That's alright, you can have more than one prize mate, you deserve it.

46:54.783 --> 46:57.484
Well, before I say that, who are you voting for, Costello or Black?

46:58.177 --> 46:59.418
I'm writing for Costello.

46:59.538 --> 47:00.859
Costello is one for shipbuilding.

47:00.879 --> 47:04.822
Well, I'd like to remind you of Swade's lovely cover of shipbuilding as well.

47:05.122 --> 47:05.342
Yes.

47:05.543 --> 47:06.403
I didn't know they covered that one.

47:06.423 --> 47:07.204
Very well reminded.

47:07.224 --> 47:08.925
Thank you, Paul.

47:08.945 --> 47:14.049
You'll be getting that book, which sounds as if it'll be useless to you, but, you know, you can use it as a doorstop, Paul.

47:14.069 --> 47:16.711
Nice to hear someone just saying, I'm not going to write a screenplay.

47:16.791 --> 47:17.051
Yeah.

47:17.271 --> 47:17.952
Yeah, makes sense.

47:17.972 --> 47:18.793
Who's next on the phones?

47:18.853 --> 47:19.113
Claire.

47:19.673 --> 47:19.873
Hello.

47:20.113 --> 47:20.454
Hello, Claire.

47:21.428 --> 47:22.670
Adam, do you want to speak to Claire?

47:22.710 --> 47:23.472
Hi Claire, I love you.

47:23.492 --> 47:25.035
Hi, hello, how are you?

47:25.095 --> 47:28.782
Very good, I miss you and why don't you ever call me anymore?

47:29.218 --> 47:31.240
I did last week, but you didn't answer.

47:31.280 --> 47:32.100
Oh, that was you.

47:32.941 --> 47:35.243
So, listen, darling, what are you voting for?

47:35.263 --> 47:36.624
Shipbuilding as well, please.

47:36.684 --> 47:38.005
I can't believe you.

47:38.065 --> 47:38.345
What?

47:38.586 --> 47:40.087
No, but this is a false start, Buxton.

47:40.107 --> 47:41.128
The lie is manipulating us.

47:41.148 --> 47:43.430
She's making it seem like I'm going to win.

47:43.450 --> 47:46.612
No, it's genuine this week because we haven't had time to manipulate it.

47:47.093 --> 47:48.213
So who's next on the line?

47:48.474 --> 47:48.734
Rob.

47:48.754 --> 47:49.254
Hello, Rob.

47:49.334 --> 47:49.715
Hey, Rob.

47:50.215 --> 47:51.196
Hello there, hi.

47:51.256 --> 47:52.377
Rob, mate, how's the screenplay going?

47:53.294 --> 47:54.195
I'm not going to do one.

47:54.435 --> 47:54.795
What?

47:55.176 --> 47:56.557
It's too much, I don't know.

47:56.617 --> 47:57.477
Come on, Rob.

47:57.998 --> 47:59.899
Haven't you seen Layer Cake and Bridget Jones?

47:59.980 --> 48:01.241
It's easy to write a screenplay.

48:01.281 --> 48:02.722
Any old rubbish gets made these days.

48:02.762 --> 48:03.082
Come on.

48:03.302 --> 48:07.165
Do a screenplay and incorporate Joe's scene with the planets moving very slowly towards each other.

48:07.185 --> 48:07.586
Exactly.

48:07.606 --> 48:09.367
You won't know what you're talking about unless you listened last week.

48:09.387 --> 48:09.848
But there we go.

48:09.868 --> 48:11.709
You're going to win this fantastic book, whatever you vote for.

48:11.729 --> 48:12.350
What are you voting for?

48:12.570 --> 48:13.270
Costello or Black?

48:13.711 --> 48:15.032
I'm going to go for Black.

48:15.532 --> 48:16.593
Oh, my goodness.

48:16.673 --> 48:17.634
Hanging on in there.

48:17.794 --> 48:18.335
Fantastic.

48:18.355 --> 48:19.496
This is edge of the seat stuff.

48:19.656 --> 48:21.117
It's 2-1 to Cornish.

48:21.137 --> 48:22.198
Do you know the Black track, Rob?

48:23.061 --> 48:27.807
No, I don't, but I know the shipbuilding and it'll be nice to hear a new song that I've never heard before.

48:27.947 --> 48:30.070
Yeah, that's the XFM spirit right there.

48:30.090 --> 48:30.510
I disagree, Rob.

48:30.530 --> 48:30.951
You're wrong!

48:30.991 --> 48:31.752
You're wrong, Rob!

48:31.872 --> 48:32.372
Get off!

48:32.392 --> 48:33.073
Oh, God.

48:33.254 --> 48:34.115
Aidan, are you there?

48:35.296 --> 48:35.897
Aidan, hello?

48:35.917 --> 48:37.138
Aidan!

48:38.700 --> 48:39.561
Hang on a second.

48:39.641 --> 48:40.201
Hang on a second.

48:40.221 --> 48:40.782
Hang on a second.

48:40.822 --> 48:41.282
Hang on a second.

48:41.302 --> 48:42.243
Hang on a second.

48:42.263 --> 48:43.044
Hang on a second.

48:43.064 --> 48:43.684
Hang on a second.

48:43.724 --> 48:44.405
Hang on a second.

48:44.485 --> 48:45.125
Hang on a second.

48:45.165 --> 48:45.686
Hang on a second.

48:45.706 --> 48:46.346
Hang on a second.

48:46.847 --> 48:47.487
Hang on a second.

48:47.547 --> 48:48.088
Hang on a second.

48:48.128 --> 48:49.769
Hang on a second.

48:49.869 --> 48:50.810
Hang on a second.

48:50.850 --> 48:52.071
Hang on a second.

48:52.131 --> 48:52.691
Hang on a second.

48:52.712 --> 48:54.233
Hang on a second.

48:54.273 --> 48:54.813
Hang on a second.

48:54.853 --> 48:55.974
Hang on a second.

48:55.994 --> 48:56.835
Hang on a second.

48:57.035 --> 48:57.636
Hang on a second.

48:57.676 --> 48:58.096
Hang on a second.

48:58.156 --> 48:59.177
Hang on a second.

49:03.536 --> 49:08.538
I'm not, no, some people were on site where I work and they were, and I've just gone into a building and locked it.

49:08.558 --> 49:08.738
Oh dear.

49:09.199 --> 49:10.099
And now you're covered in pain.

49:10.139 --> 49:11.580
Health and safety, Aidan, health and safety.

49:12.020 --> 49:12.760
Absolutely, yeah.

49:12.820 --> 49:14.361
Who are you voting for, Costello or Black?

49:14.381 --> 49:15.861
I want, it was Costello, please.

49:15.921 --> 49:16.422
Oh, is that it?

49:16.442 --> 49:16.942
Cornish takes it.

49:16.962 --> 49:17.382
Cornish takes it.

49:17.402 --> 49:17.862
Cornish takes it.

49:17.902 --> 49:18.623
Cornish takes it.

49:18.663 --> 49:20.123
But what about our fifth caller, John?

49:20.323 --> 49:25.726
Thank you very much Aidan, you get a screenwriting book, so put down those paints and pick up that pen and get to Hollywood.

49:26.556 --> 49:27.457
So John, are you there?

49:27.557 --> 49:28.097
Hello.

49:28.397 --> 49:29.958
Are you going to vote for Black or Costello?

49:30.379 --> 49:31.800
I was going to vote for Costello.

49:32.240 --> 49:32.780
Hey!

49:32.920 --> 49:34.041
It's 4-0.

49:34.161 --> 49:35.082
Thanks very much for your call.

49:35.102 --> 49:36.883
I was right about the suede version.

49:37.443 --> 49:37.683
Is he?

49:37.984 --> 49:38.144
Yes.

49:38.444 --> 49:39.164
It's a smash, is it?

49:39.184 --> 49:40.345
Well, let's have a listen to that another week.

49:40.405 --> 49:41.126
I'll seek it out.

49:41.566 --> 49:42.587
Thank you very much for your call.

49:42.607 --> 49:43.027
Hey, you know what?

49:43.047 --> 49:44.068
That'll make a good digit in the dot.

49:44.108 --> 49:45.809
Two versions of the same song, versus each other.

49:45.829 --> 49:46.589
Let's do that next week.

49:46.669 --> 49:47.750
All right, let's do that next week.

49:47.950 --> 49:48.711
Or the week after, maybe.

49:49.031 --> 49:50.553
Well, I was absolutely thrashed there.

49:51.213 --> 49:55.097
But it's a fantastic track, the Frank Black one.

49:55.137 --> 49:57.519
If only I could speak, I could communicate how good it was.

49:58.480 --> 49:58.820
The St.

49:58.860 --> 50:00.182
Francis Dam disaster.

50:00.482 --> 50:02.384
You should check it out if you get the opportunity.

50:02.424 --> 50:07.268
But I concede graciously, Elvis Costello is a wonderful person.

50:07.689 --> 50:08.770
And this is an amazing track.

50:08.890 --> 50:09.731
Let's try and play it all, eh?

50:10.031 --> 50:10.111
OK.

50:10.131 --> 50:11.472
We'll see you next week.

50:11.492 --> 50:11.833
Take care.

50:11.873 --> 50:12.113
Love you.

50:12.133 --> 50:12.814
Bye.

50:22.394 --> 50:24.256
Is it worth it?

50:26.937 --> 50:48.993
And you and some coat and shoes for the wife And a bicycle on the boy's birthday It's just a rumor that we spread around town By the women and the children Soon we'll be shooting

50:55.089 --> 51:22.636
Well, I ask you The boys said that they're going to take me to task But I'll be back by Christmas It's just a rumor that you spread around town Somebody said that someone got killed in Farsi

51:24.224 --> 51:46.649
People can't kill it The results of this ship will end With all the live in the wild Diving for dear life And we could be dead

52:09.671 --> 52:35.227
It's just a woman and we're spread around town A telegram or a picture postcard Within weeks they'll be reopening the shipyard And notifyin' the next of kin Once again, it's always skillin'

52:50.537 --> 53:02.882
When we could be diving for miles