WEBVTT 00:00.189 --> 00:08.095 My name's Adam Buxton, my name's Joe Cornish, and we're with you for the next one hour, 53 minutes here on XFM. 00:08.115 --> 00:10.076 Shall I play my little opening jingle to please? 00:10.116 --> 00:10.737 Yes, please. 00:11.077 --> 00:13.979 That sounds interesting, let's talk about it. 00:14.240 --> 00:17.062 I always enjoy our little chats. 00:18.203 --> 00:26.110 I never know what you'll say Did you see that program with that German man? 00:26.230 --> 00:36.019 He was cutting up a real corpse I'm not sure about that new TV show Have you seen that film with swearing puppets? 00:36.379 --> 00:39.042 No I haven't but I hear it's great 00:39.822 --> 00:48.387 I'm not sure about that new TV show That sounds interesting, let's talk about it Let's start talking now 00:50.134 --> 00:53.716 Has that been refreshed since last week with new topical subjects? 00:53.796 --> 00:54.937 Oh yeah. 00:55.117 --> 00:56.317 Every week it gets refreshed. 00:56.457 --> 00:56.738 Does it? 00:56.998 --> 00:57.738 Seriously, genuinely? 00:57.858 --> 00:58.038 Yeah. 00:58.739 --> 00:59.099 Really? 00:59.239 --> 00:59.939 The German man. 01:00.139 --> 01:01.040 The German man. 01:01.100 --> 01:03.941 I did see, let's talk about that, I did see about two seconds of it. 01:04.041 --> 01:09.244 I think I saw a bit of his body having, sort of being inflated, a giblet being inflated. 01:09.624 --> 01:10.245 I switched over. 01:10.945 --> 01:11.265 Did you? 01:11.666 --> 01:13.888 It was on every night, wasn't it, this week, I think. 01:13.908 --> 01:17.611 He did a different part of the anatomy, I believe. 01:17.771 --> 01:21.415 Unless someone was winding me up, they said, did you see the one with the winkies? 01:21.435 --> 01:25.618 He pretty much dissected somebody's winky parts. 01:26.599 --> 01:27.681 and I didn't see that one. 01:28.201 --> 01:30.184 I kind of am glad that I didn't see it. 01:30.525 --> 01:39.978 I saw the basic one, I think maybe the first one where they just did some guy's torso and sort of pumped fake blood into it so you could see it spreading around the arteries and everything. 01:40.018 --> 01:42.101 It was sort of interesting but very 01:42.822 --> 01:49.128 I mean, it was pretty amazingly gross, especially as there was just this little white towel covering the face of the corpse. 01:49.709 --> 01:51.911 It was obviously a relatively fresh corpse. 01:52.651 --> 01:56.955 And not keen on being identified, I would imagine, for fear of upsetting his relatives. 01:57.976 --> 01:58.317 You know? 01:58.337 --> 02:02.902 And then they had the nude, er, they had a nude model lady who was alive. 02:03.342 --> 02:03.583 Right. 02:04.103 --> 02:06.326 And, erm... They were dissecting her while she was alive? 02:06.366 --> 02:07.667 No, she wasn't being dissected. 02:07.707 --> 02:10.451 They were projecting onto her with a video projector. 02:10.471 --> 02:13.514 Could they just, could they just dissect her conversationally? 02:14.735 --> 02:17.296 They could have done, but no, they just drew on her. 02:17.416 --> 02:26.720 Instead, she was standing there in the nude, which added an extra dimension to the programme, nude ladies, always interesting, on television, and they were drawing on her totties. 02:27.040 --> 02:27.440 Is this Channel 4? 02:27.860 --> 02:28.861 Channel 4, yeah. 02:28.901 --> 02:30.161 Home of filth and sickness. 02:30.981 --> 02:33.542 And all in the name of education, obviously. 02:34.503 --> 02:35.643 I don't think I learned anything. 02:36.163 --> 02:36.924 Not a single thing. 02:37.444 --> 02:40.545 Except, yeah, nothing, nothing. 02:40.585 --> 02:41.205 Not a single thing. 02:41.225 --> 02:41.485 Great. 02:41.565 --> 02:42.666 Well, thanks for sharing that with us. 02:44.435 --> 02:50.197 I just want to say as well that, you know, we always get pretty much a lot of things wrong in this show week to week. 02:50.217 --> 02:52.518 Well last week, was last week our big boo-boo week? 02:52.738 --> 02:54.498 Yeah, we'd made a few boo-boos. 02:55.079 --> 03:05.462 And my boo-boo last week, amongst many I would imagine, was saying that James Cameron, no, Cameron Crowe invented the acronym DUMBO. 03:05.902 --> 03:06.162 Right. 03:06.582 --> 03:09.804 Apparently that's a legitimate acronym and it means 03:11.204 --> 03:14.047 district underneath the Manhattan Bridge overpass. 03:14.267 --> 03:16.109 I wouldn't worry about that. 03:16.209 --> 03:18.351 Has someone attacked you about that? 03:18.371 --> 03:19.171 They didn't attack me. 03:19.332 --> 03:20.453 It was just a friendly tweak. 03:20.633 --> 03:20.973 Really? 03:21.013 --> 03:21.293 Yeah. 03:21.393 --> 03:23.055 Well, they're just a bit pedantic. 03:23.195 --> 03:24.136 No, that's fair enough. 03:24.276 --> 03:24.656 Who was it? 03:24.676 --> 03:26.378 Uh, it's Dougie. 03:26.718 --> 03:27.059 Really? 03:27.279 --> 03:27.979 Dougie Fresh. 03:28.340 --> 03:29.160 Dougie Fresh, yes. 03:29.501 --> 03:29.901 Really? 03:30.241 --> 03:30.562 Dougie. 03:30.602 --> 03:31.282 Well, you know, Dougie... 03:32.343 --> 03:34.544 I think it's right that people pick you up on things, don't they? 03:34.564 --> 03:35.065 Your buddies? 03:35.545 --> 03:36.165 Yes, sometimes. 03:37.025 --> 03:39.107 So listen, you know last week you- you've got your new jingles? 03:39.347 --> 03:40.167 Yeah, I've got new jingles. 03:40.207 --> 03:42.288 And you know how I promised that I'd have some jingles this week? 03:42.308 --> 03:43.028 Have you got jingles? 03:43.048 --> 03:43.729 I've got some jingles. 03:43.929 --> 03:44.549 Oh, wow. 03:44.709 --> 03:45.850 It's jingle wars. 03:46.190 --> 03:47.230 I've got two jingles. 03:47.671 --> 03:48.971 They've been loaded into the system. 03:49.552 --> 04:00.557 One of them is, you know sometimes you and I talk about a subject that- and I feel I can't talk about it because, um, I- I just think it's a very sort of quite boring topic that everyone else has talked about, like, say, Big Brother or I'm a Celebrity. 04:00.717 --> 04:04.419 Are you saying, do I know when you decide not to be at all supportive of anything I'm talking about? 04:04.439 --> 04:04.539 Yeah. 04:04.579 --> 04:05.039 You know then? 04:05.059 --> 04:05.239 Yes. 04:05.559 --> 04:06.559 Well, I've got a jingle for that. 04:06.579 --> 04:07.540 Fantastic. 04:07.560 --> 04:07.820 Yeah. 04:07.880 --> 04:13.342 Does it go, I'm not going to be supportive at all about the thing you're going to talk about? 04:13.422 --> 04:14.222 No, it doesn't. 04:14.262 --> 04:14.383 No. 04:14.443 --> 04:15.123 How does it go then? 04:15.203 --> 04:16.663 Well, you know, well, have a listen to it. 04:16.924 --> 04:17.624 Can we listen to it now? 04:17.684 --> 04:18.144 Have a listen to it. 04:18.184 --> 04:19.465 It's called The Big Story. 04:19.665 --> 04:19.945 OK. 04:21.025 --> 04:25.387 It's the big news story, talking about is mandatory. 04:25.487 --> 04:30.569 Every single pundit has already done it. 04:34.043 --> 04:43.650 The subject's totally dead It's a tired old cliché But we're gonna talk about it anyway OK? 04:43.690 --> 04:44.331 You get the idea? 04:44.351 --> 04:45.712 I think I get where you're coming from. 04:45.752 --> 04:47.253 So what's this week's big news story? 04:47.273 --> 04:49.895 I don't know, there really isn't one. 04:49.935 --> 04:52.637 Julian Clary being threatened with kidnap? 04:53.117 --> 04:53.878 I don't know about that. 04:54.118 --> 04:55.419 It's on the cover of The Sun. 04:55.519 --> 04:58.521 Anyway, we'll play that later when the big news story, cos it will crop up. 04:59.442 --> 05:00.803 Well, there's gotta be... Yeah, there's... 05:02.307 --> 05:03.587 I imagine there's something everyone wants. 05:03.607 --> 05:09.609 And I've got another new jingle as well for Crap Commentary Corner, but maybe we'll save that until Crap Commentary Corner, unless you want to listen to it now. 05:09.949 --> 05:15.110 Well, no, we've got Crap Commentary Corner coming up in about 20 minutes or so, so let's play it then. 05:15.650 --> 05:18.291 And of course we'll be chatting about all kinds of other things. 05:18.611 --> 05:22.572 This week's face-off, ditties-in-the-dot-wise, is Michael Jackson. 05:23.232 --> 05:32.994 I've got to stop you right there because apparently we've been issued an email by the powers that be at XFM that give us strict limitations on what we can say about Michael Jackson. 05:33.034 --> 05:34.415 Obviously the trial kicks off next week. 05:34.495 --> 05:40.096 Everyone in the media has to be very sensitive because it's a very attractive area when it comes to making quips. 05:40.416 --> 05:42.356 There's a lot of potential there for quips. 05:42.956 --> 05:44.837 I mean he's a funny looking fella and all that. 05:45.017 --> 05:48.138 Some of his behaviour is a bit suspicious but we have to be very careful what we say. 05:48.198 --> 05:49.938 He's got forks instead of fingers. 05:50.518 --> 05:52.700 Hey, so I think we should go to a record and read this email. 05:52.740 --> 05:54.561 His best friend's a monkey called Bubbles. 05:54.722 --> 05:56.143 Oi, oi, come on, allegedly. 05:56.243 --> 05:57.364 He sleeps in an oxygen tank. 05:57.384 --> 05:58.665 Easy, careful, be careful. 05:58.685 --> 05:59.466 He's from the moon. 06:10.185 --> 06:15.530 Yeah, that's, uh, LCD Sound System with Daft Punk is playing at my house. 06:16.291 --> 06:18.773 That's, uh, gonna be out fairly soon, I think. 06:18.974 --> 06:24.819 It's the single taken from the New York outfits, self-titled debut album, which is out in the shops now. 06:25.720 --> 06:26.201 There you go. 06:26.221 --> 06:27.122 Just doing a bit of talking. 06:27.142 --> 06:28.143 You all right there, Joe? 06:28.323 --> 06:29.224 Very well, thank you very much. 06:29.605 --> 06:31.247 You depressed because we didn't score on the radials? 06:31.627 --> 06:32.028 Not at all. 06:32.048 --> 06:43.181 We've been inspecting XFM's radial results and Lauren Laverne, Christian O'Connell and Jimmy Carr have all been specially selected for praise by the head of XFM. 06:43.221 --> 06:43.922 No mention of us. 06:44.502 --> 06:45.203 Wow, we're rubbish. 06:46.244 --> 06:47.545 And no one listens to us. 06:48.665 --> 06:51.827 But exciting new television this week, Joe. 06:52.367 --> 06:56.269 Lots of good shows coming out now that the year is sort of in full swing now. 06:56.329 --> 06:58.530 We're coming to the end of January, which is always a bit of a relief. 06:58.870 --> 06:59.411 Don't you find? 06:59.431 --> 07:01.132 It's like you've made it. 07:01.272 --> 07:02.852 You can start the year properly now. 07:02.892 --> 07:05.894 The whole business of Christmas has been shaken off. 07:06.394 --> 07:07.235 And this is the year. 07:08.015 --> 07:08.836 like it or lump it. 07:09.277 --> 07:27.758 So to look forward to, first of all tonight, is another chance to see 2004 The Stupid Version, which was on BBC3 on New Year's Eve, but this is a kind of condensed version, and it's a sort of humorous satirical review of some of the bits of TV from... 07:29.680 --> 07:31.161 but done in a kind of insane way. 07:31.221 --> 07:32.942 It's put together by Armando Iannucci. 07:33.282 --> 07:35.544 I contributed a couple of very small bits to it. 07:36.305 --> 07:37.826 One's quite good, one's quite bad. 07:38.526 --> 07:45.371 I don't know if they will have made it into the edited version, but the whole show is very funny and I recommend you check it out. 07:45.451 --> 07:48.333 It's on tonight on BBC Two, 10.20. 07:49.334 --> 07:51.976 Also on Monday, we've got a new series of Look Around You. 07:52.036 --> 07:53.037 Yeah, that's very exciting. 07:53.157 --> 07:54.077 Very excited about that. 07:54.558 --> 07:56.459 I went to the screening of the show. 07:56.659 --> 07:58.921 of the first episode last Thursday. 07:59.261 --> 08:03.464 And it was a really, really good, let me tell you, it's all about music, the first show. 08:04.144 --> 08:09.027 And Kevin Eldon is in it, familiar to you from Big Train and shows like that, I would imagine. 08:09.688 --> 08:10.708 But he is amazing. 08:10.728 --> 08:12.389 He does this sort of insane song. 08:12.409 --> 08:12.950 Have you seen it? 08:14.653 --> 08:15.313 So say that again. 08:15.334 --> 08:16.114 I wasn't listening. 08:16.214 --> 08:16.834 What were you doing? 08:17.034 --> 08:18.695 I was reading a text from somebody. 08:18.715 --> 08:19.595 Stop reading the text. 08:19.615 --> 08:20.615 It's quite a good text. 08:20.855 --> 08:21.636 Go on. 08:21.896 --> 08:22.956 What does the text say? 08:23.476 --> 08:27.558 It's from a man that provided the projection equipment for the autopsy show. 08:27.578 --> 08:27.878 Oh yeah. 08:28.038 --> 08:33.940 So he was there in the studio and he says he had to stand in for the naked lady whose body they're drawn. 08:33.960 --> 08:35.181 I was thinking maybe we should get him to call in. 08:36.201 --> 08:36.961 Yeah, give us a call. 08:37.782 --> 08:38.843 Um, here's the number to call. 08:38.883 --> 08:40.043 I've got a new jingle for the number. 08:41.564 --> 08:45.586 O-8-7-1-2-2-2-1-0-4-9. 08:46.647 --> 08:47.527 Quite bad, isn't it? 08:48.008 --> 08:49.388 It's basic, it's rubbish. 08:50.069 --> 08:52.050 O-8-7, I'm not even gonna play it again, it's so rubbish. 08:53.030 --> 08:55.751 08712221049. 08:53.110 --> 08:55.751 Why don't you give us a call? 08:55.952 --> 09:00.934 So yeah, look around you, that's on Monday at 10pm on BBC2. 09:01.314 --> 09:02.414 Very funny, check it out. 09:03.114 --> 09:07.256 Nathan Barley, that's got to be coming up fairly soon, although I'm not sure when. 09:07.516 --> 09:07.856 Do you know? 09:08.116 --> 09:10.678 I think in a couple of weeks because it's being trailered, isn't it? 09:10.818 --> 09:15.359 There's very weird abstract trails on Channel 4 with just people's faces and random names. 09:15.539 --> 09:16.620 They're sort of like blipverts. 09:16.900 --> 09:18.621 Little blipverts, yeah, they're blowing your mind. 09:18.661 --> 09:22.423 But the blipverts are getting longer now, so I'm thinking that it can't be too far away. 09:22.523 --> 09:25.284 They've actually got scenes from the show in them now. 09:25.384 --> 09:32.048 Right, and of course, for uninformed listeners, Nathan Barley is Chris Morris's new sitcom, set in a sort of fictionalised version of Hoxton. 09:32.888 --> 09:35.429 And yeah, it's very secretive. 09:35.629 --> 09:36.290 No one's seen it. 09:36.390 --> 09:37.750 He's kept it under wraps. 09:38.070 --> 09:39.911 No reviews, previews or anything like that. 09:40.552 --> 09:44.653 But it's got Julian Barrett and Noel Fielding in it. 09:45.694 --> 09:57.940 Rhys Thomas and the guy from, a lot of the guys from Garth Marenghi, who also pop up in 2004, the stupid version tonight. 09:58.280 --> 09:59.600 So another little plug for that. 10:00.181 --> 10:00.341 Right. 10:01.221 --> 10:02.843 Now we've got an 80s classic for you. 10:04.205 --> 10:05.367 And this is from XTC. 10:07.209 --> 10:08.291 Senses working overtime. 10:10.794 --> 10:14.399 It's so quiet this beginning bit, isn't it? 10:14.439 --> 10:16.041 Yeah, you've talked over it. 10:16.141 --> 10:17.723 I know, I've crashed a vocal. 10:18.003 --> 10:18.244 Sorry. 10:36.047 --> 10:47.217 You could win a DVD or tickets to a show You just never know So sharpen up your brain and get ready to play! 10:48.581 --> 10:48.861 Oh, dear. 10:48.981 --> 10:51.222 It might become a little bit jingle-heavy, our show. 10:51.422 --> 10:53.182 No, you can never be- Can you have too many jingles? 10:53.222 --> 10:54.062 No, I don't think so. 10:54.082 --> 10:58.423 I looked it up on the- Lila, Lila, Lila, Lila, the producer is saying, yo, you can have too many jingles. 10:58.483 --> 11:01.624 It's a classic pitfall for amateur radio broadcasters. 11:01.744 --> 11:03.244 Lila's about 18. 11:03.764 --> 11:05.164 She doesn't know what she's talking about. 11:05.244 --> 11:11.326 She's a very experienced radio producer and highly sought after, not only by XFM but by many other radio stations. 11:11.766 --> 11:13.086 But she doesn't know what she's talking about. 11:13.266 --> 11:16.871 OK, well, we do have another jingle coming up, so we'll see whether it gets too jingle-heavy. 11:16.891 --> 11:20.216 We're about to play Ditties In The Dock, and the prize this week, listeners, is extraordinary. 11:20.356 --> 11:20.896 Crap commentaries. 11:20.916 --> 11:21.477 Oh, crap commentary. 11:21.517 --> 11:22.118 I'm terribly sorry. 11:22.459 --> 11:23.640 The prize is extraordinary. 11:23.760 --> 11:28.747 It is an exclusive screening of M. Night Shawadiwadi's film The Village. 11:29.673 --> 11:30.133 The village. 11:30.153 --> 11:33.155 I mean, it's not a new film, but it's just come out on DVD. 11:33.235 --> 11:34.655 But tell them where the screening is happening. 11:34.835 --> 11:38.057 The screening is happening at the London dungeon. 11:38.077 --> 11:39.137 Spooky! 11:39.557 --> 11:40.878 So, basically, when is it? 11:40.918 --> 11:46.801 It's on Monday the 31st, and you turn up at 7.30, you and what, is it something like nine friends? 11:47.461 --> 12:00.346 Yeah, so you, our prospective winner, can take nine friends to the London Dungeon for 7.30pm, you're plied with champagne and canapés, then at 8pm you get a tour of the London Dungeon, including a Judgement Day activity. 12:01.007 --> 12:01.547 What's that? 12:02.567 --> 12:05.769 Er, it's, erm... They've gone through all your drawers and found out secrets. 12:06.049 --> 12:07.569 A Judgement Day activity? 12:07.630 --> 12:09.350 Er, and then the London Dungeon boat ride. 12:10.011 --> 12:12.271 What the hell is a Judgement Day activity? 12:12.331 --> 12:12.792 Who knows? 12:12.832 --> 12:13.492 That sounds a bit frightening. 12:13.512 --> 12:15.693 Maybe it's something like... Maybe someone gets decapitated. 12:16.843 --> 12:18.203 Well, yeah. 12:18.583 --> 12:20.404 Maybe one of your friends is killed in front of you. 12:20.724 --> 12:22.064 That would be amazing. 12:22.144 --> 12:23.685 No, Lyla says that's not what happens. 12:23.965 --> 12:30.226 At 8.45 the film starts with beer, wine, soft drinks and bowl food served throughout. 12:30.407 --> 12:31.687 Does it say bowl food? 12:31.727 --> 12:32.227 What's that going to mean? 12:32.247 --> 12:34.608 Like maggots and leaves in a bowl? 12:34.868 --> 12:35.468 Anything in a bowl. 12:35.488 --> 12:36.488 I'm sure it'll be very tasty. 12:36.728 --> 12:39.469 At 10.45 the film ends and you go, what? 12:40.109 --> 12:41.350 It was all along. 12:41.610 --> 12:42.431 What? 12:42.831 --> 12:43.672 Quite good actually, the village. 12:43.692 --> 12:44.473 Yeah, it was quite good, the village. 12:45.113 --> 12:46.154 So 1045, the film ends. 12:46.234 --> 12:49.637 Competition winners are then free to tour the London dungeon at their own leisure. 12:50.057 --> 12:52.359 And presumably it's closed off to the public at this point, is it? 12:52.639 --> 12:56.022 Because it's the most popular tourist attraction in London, if not the first, then the second. 12:56.282 --> 12:59.605 I was going to go into it last week actually, but the queue was stretching round the corner into the station. 12:59.825 --> 13:00.786 Impossible to get into. 13:00.806 --> 13:01.406 Wow. 13:01.627 --> 13:05.309 And you can have it all to yourself, plus all the actors all done in blood. 13:06.390 --> 13:06.630 stuff. 13:06.851 --> 13:09.052 And then at 11.30pm, the evening ends. 13:09.152 --> 13:09.793 What a night! 13:10.073 --> 13:11.574 That is- that's the night of your life. 13:11.594 --> 13:13.615 Guaranteed to scare your nipples right off. 13:13.815 --> 13:18.698 Well let's see if you can win that amazing prize by identifying- Hang on a second. 13:18.878 --> 13:19.159 What? 13:19.519 --> 13:21.220 Can we say the word vagina on radio? 13:21.440 --> 13:22.321 Well you did now. 13:22.341 --> 13:23.361 Stop! 13:23.461 --> 13:24.142 Is that alright? 13:24.182 --> 13:27.844 Well as long as it's anatomically related and not just- Yeah, yeah. 13:27.864 --> 13:32.027 Okay, because that is featured in one of the clips for Crap Commentary competition. 13:32.087 --> 13:32.587 Is that bad? 13:32.868 --> 13:34.549 It's- it's a medical word. 13:35.259 --> 13:48.355 yeah well let's let's not make it into anything other than a medical word by dwelling on it in too weird a way those things i've got three clips one of them has that word in it okay well you've prepared people now i think okay so let's let's have the jingle first for crap commentary corner 14:09.794 --> 14:16.818 Now we just sort of talk over it. 14:16.918 --> 14:18.199 It sort of fades out. 14:18.379 --> 14:19.560 Oh, OK. 14:19.900 --> 14:21.161 It's a perky little number. 14:21.201 --> 14:23.082 That is very perky. 14:23.122 --> 14:26.324 You see, what would have been nice... That was brilliant, by the way. 14:26.504 --> 14:27.104 It was, yes. 14:27.245 --> 14:31.887 But what would have been nice if you could have just left that music bubbling under as a bed? 14:32.688 --> 14:33.868 Yeah, yeah. 14:33.929 --> 14:37.831 Well, I just thought it might clash with the commentary itself, but it does go on for a little while. 14:39.252 --> 14:40.393 And it has a clean ending. 14:40.713 --> 14:41.033 It does. 14:41.073 --> 14:42.934 No, I'm not quibbling with the jingle itself. 14:42.954 --> 14:46.677 I'm just saying, you know, it would have been even more amazing if we could have carried on talking over it. 14:46.857 --> 14:47.397 Anyway, it doesn't matter. 14:47.497 --> 15:02.527 OK, the telephone number 0-8-7-1-222-1049 to win that amazing special screening for you and nine friends of The Village at the London Dungeon, a free tour of the London Dungeon, all its various terrifying exhibits for your exclusive 15:03.267 --> 15:04.308 Oh, how do I end this sentence? 15:04.348 --> 15:05.229 You know, perusal. 15:05.869 --> 15:07.211 Er, so it's an amazing prize. 15:07.391 --> 15:08.752 Listen very carefully to this clip. 15:09.192 --> 15:13.596 Er, you have to tell us what the movie is and what, what star is commentating over it. 15:13.636 --> 15:15.397 There's various people in this commentary. 15:15.517 --> 15:17.959 But hang on a second because I don't know where these clips are. 15:18.059 --> 15:19.821 Oh, well they're just in here on a CD. 15:20.161 --> 15:21.342 OK, here we are. 15:21.382 --> 15:23.644 Sorry, failed to give them to, er, to Adam there. 15:23.664 --> 15:25.645 We'll stick them in. 15:25.665 --> 15:25.645 08712221049. 15:25.745 --> 15:32.391 There's going to be a lot of demand for this prize because it's one of the biggest, most exciting prizes in the history 15:32.751 --> 15:34.012 You're rea- Keep filling, man! 15:34.072 --> 15:34.573 Keep filling! 15:34.613 --> 15:35.453 I'm doing well, aren't I? 15:35.734 --> 15:38.416 You're doing really well. 15:38.456 --> 15:40.057 Now you're doing badly. 15:40.338 --> 15:42.239 I like fish fingers. 15:42.439 --> 15:43.000 Okay, here we go. 15:46.233 --> 15:46.454 What? 15:46.514 --> 15:47.434 What's going on? 15:47.474 --> 15:49.115 That's not the right... That's another jingle. 15:49.215 --> 15:49.955 What track is it? 15:50.195 --> 15:51.996 It is track five. 15:52.736 --> 15:52.976 See? 15:52.996 --> 15:55.978 This is why we don't show up in the rage hours. 15:56.418 --> 15:56.958 Here we go. 15:57.258 --> 15:57.819 Scat off. 15:58.079 --> 15:58.679 Scat off. 15:58.859 --> 15:59.319 Go, Will. 15:59.439 --> 15:59.900 Big guns. 16:00.100 --> 16:01.060 Do the same thing like this. 16:01.160 --> 16:03.321 No, it sounded more like... I think mine's better. 16:03.481 --> 16:04.121 Do it again, Will. 16:14.721 --> 16:18.525 I think blue won. 16:18.665 --> 16:20.106 You know what, you're not actually that goodwill. 16:20.146 --> 16:22.448 No, I never said I was good. 16:22.549 --> 16:23.469 You say boop a lot. 16:23.710 --> 16:23.970 I know. 16:23.990 --> 16:25.832 I like to see other things besides boop. 16:27.535 --> 16:28.837 Oh, I think I might know what that is. 16:28.857 --> 16:36.325 Yeah, that was a scat-off, a scat-singing competition between the star of the film and a random famous man they got in as a joke. 16:36.986 --> 16:37.666 Hey, that's good. 16:37.967 --> 16:39.208 I think I know what that might be. 16:39.228 --> 16:44.374 0-8-7-1-2-2-2-1-0-4-9, second clip, maybe, which is track six. 16:44.714 --> 16:45.395 OK, here we go. 16:45.635 --> 16:46.056 Listen out. 16:46.636 --> 16:46.836 Hello? 16:47.377 --> 16:48.077 How are you doing? 16:48.177 --> 16:48.618 What's up? 16:48.798 --> 16:49.138 I'm good. 16:49.158 --> 16:53.902 I'm just a little surprised you're doing the commentary without me there. 16:54.042 --> 16:54.983 You know, can we be honest? 16:55.343 --> 16:59.107 From the commentaries I've heard, it just seems a little bit like a man's world. 16:59.147 --> 17:03.550 Like, the deeper voice resonates better against the movie. 17:03.570 --> 17:03.951 Right. 17:04.191 --> 17:05.632 It's more a technical issue. 17:05.952 --> 17:06.553 Bullcrap. 17:07.013 --> 17:07.954 I know exactly what it is. 17:09.115 --> 17:10.576 Oh, look, Christina. 17:10.976 --> 17:14.079 Oh, they made her cry by freezing her out of the commentary. 17:14.259 --> 17:15.360 Yeah, I don't think they really did. 17:15.620 --> 17:15.900 Really? 17:16.080 --> 17:17.502 I think that was a little joke. 17:17.522 --> 17:19.643 There's one more clip. 17:19.663 --> 17:20.704 This is the controversial one. 17:21.004 --> 17:21.565 Track seven. 17:21.685 --> 17:26.509 OK, so if you're offended by anatomical references, please put your fingers in your ears now. 17:26.529 --> 17:28.811 I mean, you've picked this up as the unrated version. 17:28.871 --> 17:30.192 Hopefully you knew what you were in for. 17:30.212 --> 17:32.473 Yeah, hopefully you are not shocked. 17:33.534 --> 17:40.039 Uh, if you are, I'm gonna shock you even more by saying, uh, unshaven whale's vagina. 17:41.060 --> 17:41.441 How's that? 17:41.981 --> 17:42.581 How's that fit? 17:42.742 --> 17:46.505 Which was used in the movie you'll find later. 17:47.352 --> 17:50.955 Now, I think we even referred to this commentary last week or the week before. 17:50.975 --> 17:51.396 Did we? 17:51.616 --> 17:52.457 Yeah, possibly. 17:52.577 --> 17:54.479 Cos I watched it a couple of weeks ago. 17:54.879 --> 17:55.540 It's pretty funny. 17:55.560 --> 17:56.060 It's not. 17:56.781 --> 18:00.404 It's still a bit meandering and I can't believe you actually sat through the whole thing. 18:01.625 --> 18:02.526 Oh, 871-222-1049. 18:02.546 --> 18:11.454 If you know what film that was from and the star of the film who was talking in that commentary, you could win that amazing private evening at the London Dungeon with a sneak preview, what, of the DVD of The Village. 18:11.674 --> 18:12.856 Can you have a sneak preview of a DVD? 18:13.609 --> 18:13.930 I don't know. 18:14.130 --> 18:20.523 Anyway, we'll be back, er, with the answer to Crap Commentary Corner this week after this one from Spoon. 18:26.974 --> 18:31.238 That's called Advanced Cassette and that's by a fantastic band called Spoon. 18:31.638 --> 18:33.780 This is Adam and Joe on XFM. 18:33.860 --> 18:39.606 We are now going to take a call after we've reminded you of our competition this week. 18:39.626 --> 18:48.694 It's Crap Commentary Corner and the competition is to identify who is speaking in this clip and what movie they are speaking about. 18:49.275 --> 18:50.215 So here's a reminder. 18:51.337 --> 18:52.800 Oh, I keep doing that wrong stuff. 18:52.820 --> 18:54.102 What's wrong with your fingers today? 18:54.202 --> 18:57.308 Well, it's just all the things and there's a lot on my CD today, you know? 18:57.369 --> 18:58.431 Listeners, bear with us. 18:58.932 --> 18:59.232 Here we go. 18:59.963 --> 19:00.183 Hello? 19:00.703 --> 19:01.424 How are you doing? 19:01.524 --> 19:01.964 What's up? 19:02.144 --> 19:02.484 I'm good. 19:02.504 --> 19:07.227 I'm just a little surprised you're doing the commentary without me there. 19:07.367 --> 19:08.328 You know, can we be honest? 19:08.688 --> 19:12.430 From the commentaries I've heard, it just seems a little bit like a man's world. 19:12.490 --> 19:16.892 Like, the deeper voice resonates better against the movie. 19:16.912 --> 19:17.273 Right. 19:17.533 --> 19:18.973 It's more a technical issue. 19:19.294 --> 19:19.914 Bullcrap. 19:20.334 --> 19:21.615 I know exactly what it is. 19:22.458 --> 19:24.440 Look, Christina. 19:25.101 --> 19:26.202 Oh, they made her cry. 19:26.262 --> 19:27.523 So we've got Ed on Line 1. 19:27.583 --> 19:28.044 Hello, Ed. 19:28.564 --> 19:28.724 Hello. 19:28.865 --> 19:29.625 How you doing? 19:30.106 --> 19:30.326 I'm OK. 19:30.346 --> 19:31.127 How you guys doing? 19:31.247 --> 19:31.607 Very well. 19:31.627 --> 19:34.510 What's your guess, then, for this week's crap commentary competition? 19:35.031 --> 19:39.055 I think the movie is Anchorman and the star of that is Will Ferrell. 19:39.355 --> 19:40.977 Ooh, let's find out if you're right. 19:42.091 --> 19:43.794 I've got it right. 19:44.254 --> 19:46.638 Using a jingle, I told you that you were correct. 19:46.758 --> 19:47.259 Brilliant. 19:47.299 --> 19:48.000 How do you feel, Ed? 19:48.040 --> 19:48.521 How do you feel? 19:48.881 --> 19:49.863 I'm moved by the jingle. 19:50.123 --> 19:50.884 Moved by the jingle. 19:50.904 --> 19:51.666 And do you feel excited? 19:51.686 --> 19:52.687 I mean, you realize what you've won. 19:52.707 --> 19:53.468 Do you realize what you've won? 19:53.709 --> 19:54.510 I feel, yes. 19:54.730 --> 19:56.413 I'm going to be scared out of my brain. 19:56.433 --> 19:57.294 Do you have nine friends? 19:58.140 --> 19:58.720 I think so. 19:58.920 --> 19:59.201 Yeah. 19:59.321 --> 20:00.781 And was this the kind of thing they'd enjoy? 20:00.822 --> 20:03.823 Are your friends a bit mature and sarky and cynical? 20:03.843 --> 20:06.545 Are you going to laugh at the exhibits in the Mandarin Dungeon? 20:06.565 --> 20:08.106 I haven't seen this one yet. 20:08.126 --> 20:11.267 I've seen a few of his other films, but it has a nice twist ending. 20:11.327 --> 20:12.468 So yeah, I'm sure we'll love it. 20:12.608 --> 20:14.569 How old are you, Ed, if you don't mind me asking? 20:14.669 --> 20:14.829 I'm 24. 20:16.390 --> 20:14.829 24. 20:16.450 --> 20:19.032 So you probably know girls and stuff like that. 20:19.052 --> 20:20.232 I might, yeah. 20:20.532 --> 20:26.596 You could get girls, man, and you could go along and you could kiss some of them, and it could be like a kind of party. 20:27.176 --> 20:27.737 It could be. 20:27.877 --> 20:28.618 I'm jealous. 20:28.858 --> 20:30.860 Ed, have you been to the London dungeon before? 20:30.880 --> 20:32.722 Not for a long time. 20:32.802 --> 20:34.244 I think I was about 13 years old. 20:34.364 --> 20:35.425 Oh man, you're going to love it. 20:35.766 --> 20:39.109 And you know you get to ride on their boat? 20:39.570 --> 20:42.233 Is there like a little underground flume or something? 20:42.273 --> 20:43.054 Something like that. 20:43.294 --> 20:46.359 But basically part of your prize is the judgment day activity. 20:46.399 --> 20:49.003 We were asking before you came on the line exactly what that was. 20:49.023 --> 20:51.606 We've had a text from someone called Andrea. 20:51.646 --> 20:54.010 She says, I have done the judgment day activity. 20:54.370 --> 20:55.532 They accuse you of stuff. 20:55.913 --> 20:58.316 Then you go on the boat ride and they shoot you in the head. 21:00.583 --> 21:02.505 So I don't know whether that's a good idea. 21:02.645 --> 21:03.666 All that to look forward to, Ed. 21:03.706 --> 21:07.671 Thank you very much indeed for phoning in and congratulations on getting that absolutely right. 21:08.112 --> 21:10.374 Have a good time at the London Dungeon and, you know, give us a call. 21:10.394 --> 21:11.255 Let us know how it went. 21:11.416 --> 21:13.258 Let us know what your judgment day activity was. 21:13.578 --> 21:14.659 This is Adam and Joe on XFM. 21:20.565 --> 21:23.007 Oh, my God, I can't believe it. 21:23.027 --> 21:24.308 Oh, my God, I can't believe it. 21:24.548 --> 21:28.450 You see, you can take the Lord's name in vain, but you can't talk about Wacko Jacko, can you? 21:28.891 --> 21:30.432 No, can't talk about Wacko Jacko. 21:30.452 --> 21:31.592 That was for Robin. 21:31.973 --> 21:32.753 Good choice, Robin. 21:33.173 --> 21:34.054 Yeah. 21:34.174 --> 21:35.415 Adam and Joe here on XFM. 21:35.775 --> 21:43.000 And I see that, actually, we were talking about Look Around You, the new series of Look Around You, which is no longer a little ten-minute show. 21:43.720 --> 21:53.844 It's now half an hour show and it's more directly a kind of piss take of Tomorrow's World and spoofing that kind of weird clunky type of show that you used to get in the early 80s. 21:54.304 --> 22:00.606 And I see that Peter Serafinowicz and Robert Popper are on Jimmy Carr and Ian Morris' show tomorrow on XFM. 22:01.366 --> 22:02.667 You can catch that from 10am. 22:03.247 --> 22:05.308 You know, another great series starting next week is Boot Camp. 22:05.928 --> 22:07.088 series two of Boot Camp. 22:07.108 --> 22:07.648 That's right. 22:07.688 --> 22:09.229 You were obsessed by that before, weren't you? 22:09.249 --> 22:10.189 Were you not obsessed by it? 22:10.309 --> 22:10.689 I liked it. 22:10.709 --> 22:11.369 I got into it, yeah. 22:11.389 --> 22:12.270 I thought it was fantastic. 22:12.290 --> 22:14.330 That starts on Tuesday, so it's a great week for telly. 22:14.890 --> 22:22.132 And of course, speaking of Jimmy Carr, there's Channel 4's big new entertainment show on Friday night, which is called The Friday Night Project. 22:22.332 --> 22:23.533 You've probably seen some of the trails. 22:23.553 --> 22:24.553 Does that start this Friday? 22:25.113 --> 22:28.634 It starts next Friday coming up, yeah, and it says in... 22:29.454 --> 22:30.434 The Guardian Guide. 22:30.994 --> 22:35.155 Could this be another stab at creating a wacky TFI zoo TV show? 22:36.035 --> 22:36.996 Uh, yes is the answer. 22:37.096 --> 22:47.098 Jimmy Carr, Rob Rouse, who's a very funny comedian, Sharon Horgan, who I don't know much about, and Lucy Montgomery, who I also am ignorant of, are joined by guest host, Vinnie Jones. 22:47.458 --> 22:57.480 Going to the Dogs, Abby Titmus, with a mystery sex tape challenge, and Charlie from Busted, showing everyone how totally indie he really is with his new band, Fightstar. 22:58.345 --> 23:00.388 Crikey, they're really throwing everything they can at that one. 23:00.508 --> 23:01.890 Why are they starting with Vinny? 23:02.310 --> 23:03.251 Well, Vinny's brilliant. 23:03.271 --> 23:07.116 Didn't you see him on the Marian and Geoff chat show, whatever it's called, the Keith Barrett show last night? 23:07.257 --> 23:08.779 No, you know, I seldom catch that show. 23:08.919 --> 23:09.319 Was it here? 23:09.459 --> 23:09.800 Oh, no. 23:12.385 --> 23:14.626 So you were being ironic when you said that Vinny was brilliant. 23:14.726 --> 23:15.567 Yeah, of course I was. 23:15.747 --> 23:15.847 Oh. 23:15.947 --> 23:16.467 He's awful. 23:16.507 --> 23:17.708 He's dreadful. 23:18.349 --> 23:28.356 But anyway, the Friday Night Project should be, er, interesting, and Jimmy Carr's always good, and Rob Rouse is a very funny comedian, so there's lots of good things to be said for that, and I'll certainly be checking it out. 23:29.297 --> 23:30.878 Question for you, Adam Buxton, and listeners. 23:31.318 --> 23:34.340 What is the worst non-human family in an advert? 23:34.360 --> 23:40.425 That sounds interesting, let's talk about it Let's start talking now 23:41.147 --> 23:41.487 OK? 23:42.468 --> 23:44.369 I'd like to offer you some choices. 23:45.369 --> 23:48.971 The fabric softener family who are made from stitched up clothes. 23:49.091 --> 23:50.252 Good, good reference. 23:50.292 --> 23:51.353 I believe it's comfort. 23:51.973 --> 23:52.153 Yeah. 23:52.333 --> 24:03.099 And they sort of hang each other on the line and snog and do things that families do, but they look as if they're made from sort of fluorescent patches of old flesh. 24:03.439 --> 24:03.699 Yes. 24:03.839 --> 24:06.442 But actually they're stitched together from bits of material. 24:06.482 --> 24:11.487 And they're stitched in such a way that their faces just look really pathetic and slappable. 24:11.507 --> 24:12.908 Yeah, and they're not even stitched. 24:12.948 --> 24:14.710 I think they're computer generated. 24:15.671 --> 24:19.254 So you don't even have the feel that someone's actually knitted them together lovingly. 24:19.274 --> 24:20.475 Oh, I thought they were stop motion. 24:20.535 --> 24:20.876 I don't know. 24:21.176 --> 24:21.496 I don't know. 24:21.536 --> 24:22.397 They make me feel ill. 24:22.897 --> 24:23.438 I agree with you. 24:23.478 --> 24:26.381 OK, family number two, the PG Tips plasticine birds. 24:28.100 --> 24:30.481 who replaced the monkeys or whatever they had before. 24:30.521 --> 24:32.042 They're aardman, yeah. 24:32.062 --> 24:32.922 A family of birds. 24:33.803 --> 24:35.983 I don't mind the PG Tips family. 24:36.324 --> 24:46.448 What about, and this I think, is the worst advert so-called family, and all these adverts are basically trying to do a riff on The Simpsons really, create a lovable, non-human family. 24:46.808 --> 24:49.309 The Dolmio Italian puppet family. 24:49.349 --> 24:51.310 Well, we've talked about the Dolmio family before. 24:51.330 --> 24:52.850 When they are a Dolmio, they are. 24:53.330 --> 24:54.111 They are horrible. 24:55.131 --> 25:13.329 they're terrible they're frightening because oh yeah they're absolutely awful because they're not only are they quite annoyingly badly animated they are just this grotesque caricature of italian people and um yes i want to roll them into a big ball and throw them in the bin 25:13.755 --> 25:13.995 Yeah. 25:14.415 --> 25:20.899 And the other really bad advert family on telly, the BBC had going for a while to advertise their freeview boxes. 25:21.239 --> 25:23.441 They were a family of people with potato heads. 25:23.861 --> 25:24.821 Do you remember them at all? 25:24.861 --> 25:25.862 Lila remembers those. 25:25.882 --> 25:31.325 That's my top four most annoying non-human families in adverts. 25:31.665 --> 25:33.226 That's very, very good top four. 25:33.286 --> 25:37.449 Maybe your listeners would like to send in their own top four in a similar vein. 25:37.969 --> 25:42.111 You can email us at adamandjoe at xfm.co.uk. 25:42.191 --> 25:42.892 That's Adam. 25:43.792 --> 25:45.513 A-N-D rather than an ampersand. 25:46.094 --> 25:47.295 And, uh, I think I got them all. 25:47.315 --> 25:47.955 Are there any others? 25:48.716 --> 25:49.056 I don't know. 25:49.076 --> 25:49.596 I can't think. 25:49.616 --> 25:50.857 I'm no good at just thinking. 25:51.338 --> 25:51.618 OK. 25:52.939 --> 25:54.160 This is Adam and Jo on XFM. 25:54.480 --> 25:55.881 Here is Fedar. 26:06.055 --> 26:07.616 That's the Red Hot Chili Peppers. 26:07.696 --> 26:08.296 Sounding a little bit boast. 26:08.356 --> 26:08.657 And dosed. 26:08.697 --> 26:09.977 I'm tired there, don't you think? 26:10.097 --> 26:10.778 With the Chili Peppers? 26:10.818 --> 26:11.018 Yeah. 26:11.218 --> 26:14.680 They were just relaxing on a lovely day. 26:14.720 --> 26:20.604 Is it one of those, you know, sometimes bands release sort of sleeper singles just to fill in between their next big corker. 26:20.764 --> 26:23.765 No, that was from their big album, By The Way. 26:23.785 --> 26:24.686 There you go. 26:25.046 --> 26:25.727 Yeah. 26:25.767 --> 26:27.908 The Californian Quartet's eighth album. 26:28.268 --> 26:29.109 Eight albums. 26:30.129 --> 26:32.592 of music by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. 26:32.772 --> 26:33.894 This is Adam and Joe on XFM. 26:33.914 --> 26:35.335 Why are you looking worried about that, Joe? 26:35.355 --> 26:39.560 JOE I know, I was just going to say we've been discussing inanimate advert families. 26:39.921 --> 26:44.226 We've got a top five worst inanimate advert families. 26:44.266 --> 26:47.289 Now, a lot of people have texted and emailed suggesting the post office ants. 26:48.271 --> 26:49.552 I've got nothing against the post office ants. 26:49.572 --> 26:57.840 You see, I quite like the post office ants as well, especially when they have a chase in their remote control cars, because I think it's a very well directed chase with little remote control cars. 26:57.920 --> 27:04.586 It occurred to me when I was watching one of those ads the other day that I love ants in any form. 27:04.626 --> 27:04.906 Really? 27:05.106 --> 27:09.570 I love ants, and especially when they're animated, I love the film Antz, for example. 27:09.930 --> 27:13.313 I rate the film Antz over the film Bug's Life. 27:14.053 --> 27:16.956 And I've had quite a few arguments with people about that. 27:17.236 --> 27:21.400 Another suggestion is the charming bears, the bears what wipe their bums on telly. 27:22.020 --> 27:23.141 Don't mind the charming bears? 27:23.341 --> 27:25.723 I don't like to see animals use toilet paper. 27:26.484 --> 27:27.545 I just think it's wrong. 27:27.905 --> 27:38.954 Well, the weird thing about the charming bears is that that whole conceit is based on the, uh, you know, the phrase, you know, a bear- Poos in the woods. 27:39.034 --> 27:40.035 Poos in the woods, yeah. 27:40.615 --> 27:44.118 So it's based on kind of an expletive heavy phrase. 27:44.178 --> 27:45.419 Well, it's got one expletive in it. 27:45.679 --> 27:45.940 Yeah. 27:46.480 --> 27:50.761 And out of that you've got this cute bear family going out and doing bear tods. 27:51.842 --> 27:55.463 I just think it's wrong for a bear to sort of use the loo in any sort of way. 27:55.963 --> 27:56.283 Why? 27:56.303 --> 27:59.724 He doesn't want to get like fur clogged up with dingleberries and stuff. 27:59.744 --> 28:00.424 He must use his tongue. 28:01.164 --> 28:01.885 His tongue? 28:01.965 --> 28:02.245 Yeah. 28:02.465 --> 28:03.665 What are you talking about? 28:03.685 --> 28:04.845 That's what animals do. 28:04.905 --> 28:06.246 How long do you think his tongue is? 28:07.148 --> 28:09.950 Well, it doesn't, you know, you can bend over. 28:09.970 --> 28:10.710 We should move on. 28:11.031 --> 28:11.631 Yeah, OK. 28:12.291 --> 28:12.772 So there we go. 28:12.812 --> 28:14.493 So, Adam, you were asking me about Sideways. 28:15.113 --> 28:15.634 Yeah, yeah. 28:15.814 --> 28:16.594 Big new movie. 28:17.215 --> 28:17.775 New movie? 28:17.875 --> 28:18.996 Yeah, big new movie. 28:19.056 --> 28:20.337 Big new movie. 28:20.397 --> 28:33.366 Scooping all the awards in America, Sideways is about two middle-aged blokes that go off on a sort of saucy weekend, the weekend before one of them's getting married, and they're wine lovers, and they drink a lot of wine, and they have sort of dalliances with ladies. 28:33.966 --> 28:36.788 And it's basically very influenced by Withnail and I. 28:38.089 --> 28:56.720 It's made by the guy that did Election and About Schmidt, Alexander Payne, and he's a big fan of With Nail and I, and it's based on a novel, and the guy that wrote the novel was a big fan of With Nail and I, so it's a weird sort of American middle-aged take on With Nail and I. Thank you. 28:57.200 --> 29:06.066 So I went seaside-ways, and the one thing I found a little bit, you know, tricky about it was this business of the wine metaphor going through the whole film. 29:06.806 --> 29:10.028 Because they've obviously used wine as a metaphor for life. 29:10.288 --> 29:13.369 So for instance, there's a scene where the grumpy one, what's the actor called? 29:13.589 --> 29:14.670 Paul Giacometti. 29:14.730 --> 29:17.231 Giacometti. 29:17.271 --> 29:18.411 He was in American Splendor. 29:18.611 --> 29:19.592 There you go, yeah. 29:19.692 --> 29:27.115 He's sort of Hollywood's trendy, grumpy, he's sort of the Steve Buscemi of the new millennium. 29:27.296 --> 29:28.136 Yeah, I know the guy you mean. 29:28.696 --> 29:37.361 So his character is kind of a vulnerable, sensitive, needy, grumpy, insular guy that needs special care and is secretly brilliant. 29:38.522 --> 29:46.447 And he sits down and chats up this woman and she says to him, why do you like pinot so much? 29:46.947 --> 29:47.888 Pinot wine, obviously. 29:48.308 --> 29:49.209 And he goes, well, 29:50.129 --> 29:51.110 It's a difficult grape. 29:51.450 --> 29:53.091 It's vulnerable, sensitive. 29:53.651 --> 29:55.733 It only grows in the most particular of places. 29:56.133 --> 29:58.354 It needs special care, considered nurturing. 29:58.795 --> 30:08.601 But when it finds a place it can flourish, someone who understands its peculiarities, it's capable of producing the most wonderfully profound, most exquisite, most ancient flavours in the world. 30:08.801 --> 30:09.502 Like him! 30:09.622 --> 30:12.143 At which point, yeah, she should go, what, you mean like you? 30:12.584 --> 30:14.445 The wine's very similar to you, isn't it? 30:14.685 --> 30:15.065 Isn't it? 30:15.125 --> 30:15.405 Yeah. 30:15.546 --> 30:16.126 But she doesn't. 30:16.746 --> 30:19.008 She just goes, oh, that's beautiful. 30:19.554 --> 30:22.837 Well, isn't it being said for comic effect, though, all that, to make it so specific? 30:22.857 --> 30:23.457 Oh, wait a second. 30:24.098 --> 30:28.181 Er, she doesn't say that, so instead he says to her, so, so what got you into wine? 30:29.182 --> 30:35.988 And she said, I think it was when, er, I realised that wine evolves, depending on the weather, where it grows, the amount of care it gets. 30:36.449 --> 30:45.957 Every bottle is alive, every day it tastes different, as it slowly and controvertibly matures into something rich and wonderful, then slowly fades. 30:47.085 --> 30:49.588 at which point he should say, wine's like people, isn't it? 30:50.289 --> 30:52.973 Wine's very similar to people, like you and me, we're like wine! 30:53.834 --> 30:56.477 Yeah, and you're gonna get very excited when I pull my cork out. 30:56.597 --> 30:57.739 Yeah, but they don't at any point. 30:57.759 --> 30:58.380 He could have said. 30:59.241 --> 30:59.581 Say that. 31:00.580 --> 31:02.081 Well, but it's still a good film, though, right? 31:02.141 --> 31:02.941 It's a great film, Sideways. 31:02.961 --> 31:03.662 I do recommend it. 31:03.702 --> 31:07.123 And you're sure they're not just playing all those moments for ludicrous facts? 31:07.143 --> 31:08.024 No, no, no, no, no, no. 31:08.064 --> 31:08.624 Oh, OK. 31:09.284 --> 31:11.706 You know, we need a jingle for when we talk about movies, Joe. 31:11.746 --> 31:12.006 We do. 31:12.146 --> 31:12.546 I don't know. 31:12.586 --> 31:15.247 I think we might be... No, no, no, you can't get too jingle-heavy. 31:15.447 --> 31:15.908 I don't know. 31:16.388 --> 31:17.008 Lots of jingles. 31:17.028 --> 31:17.749 I don't know. 31:17.769 --> 31:19.470 Let me just have a meeting after the show about the jingles. 31:19.630 --> 31:20.250 Jingle. 31:20.550 --> 31:21.711 Uh, listeners, more jingles? 31:21.951 --> 31:22.291 Maybe? 31:22.351 --> 31:22.891 Less jingles? 31:22.911 --> 31:25.192 What do you think about our current jingle status? 31:25.533 --> 31:26.573 Don't ask the listeners. 31:26.593 --> 31:29.735 They'll just email us that we should kill ourselves or something. 31:30.598 --> 31:32.539 Right now, I've got a track for you. 31:32.559 --> 31:38.420 This is a free play and it's Weezer and it's from their first album and it's a song I love called Holiday. 31:38.540 --> 31:39.481 Oh, I love it, Joe. 31:39.521 --> 31:48.323 I love it because it reminds me of Holidays because of the name of the song and I thought it might be nice to play today because it's a really filthy January day. 31:48.463 --> 31:49.623 End of the world. 31:49.663 --> 31:50.784 Hope this cheers you up a bit. 31:50.824 --> 31:51.344 Here's Weezer. 32:03.106 --> 32:03.486 There we go. 32:03.506 --> 32:05.628 That was the Hounds of Love by the Future Heads. 32:05.688 --> 32:06.468 That's fantastic. 32:06.488 --> 32:09.450 That's the cover of the Kate Bush classic, of course. 32:09.970 --> 32:13.172 And I believe the Future Heads are playing at the NME Awards. 32:13.673 --> 32:14.033 No, no, no. 32:14.053 --> 32:20.477 They're playing the NME Awards tour alongside the Killers, the Kaiser Chiefs block party in February. 32:21.097 --> 32:24.980 And that's culminating with a show at the Brixton Academy on Wednesday, February the 9th. 32:25.000 --> 32:25.840 That'll be really good. 32:26.200 --> 32:27.981 I wonder if they're going to be at the NME... 32:29.122 --> 32:30.063 Er, Brat Awards. 32:30.363 --> 32:36.248 You know, er, Simon Pegg and, erm, Frosty are hosting that, are they? 32:36.308 --> 32:37.869 We were asked to be on the panel for that, weren't we? 32:38.249 --> 32:38.549 Were we? 32:38.810 --> 32:39.130 Yeah. 32:40.051 --> 32:40.711 I can't remember. 32:40.931 --> 32:41.792 So listen, I've got a question. 32:41.992 --> 32:42.232 Go on then. 32:42.873 --> 32:53.021 How often do you, er, open a magazine and read its reviews and get amazingly incensed about a review, say, a bad review of something that you love? 32:53.721 --> 32:54.662 Does that happen to you a lot? 32:54.962 --> 33:01.867 Yeah, and do you know, what I generally do is avoid buying those magazines until it's got to the stage that I only really buy a couple of mags now. 33:02.067 --> 33:05.269 Well, that must be all magazines, because this week I opened Empire magazine. 33:05.549 --> 33:05.769 Well, what? 33:05.789 --> 33:06.990 I was having quite a tough morning. 33:07.030 --> 33:07.190 Yeah. 33:07.851 --> 33:15.756 I get a, uh, Empire sent me the post, opened it up, and, uh, I read their review for The Life Aquatic, which is one of my favourite films of the year so far. 33:15.776 --> 33:17.637 The Wes Anderson film, Life Aquatic, with Bill Murray. 33:17.797 --> 33:17.957 Yeah. 33:18.438 --> 33:19.479 Uh, three out of five. 33:20.618 --> 33:21.799 I was so angry. 33:22.399 --> 33:23.961 I was incensed. 33:24.041 --> 33:24.841 I really was. 33:25.241 --> 33:25.942 I thought, what? 33:26.222 --> 33:29.425 I thought, Empire, you callow, gutless tossers. 33:30.045 --> 33:30.545 I thought. 33:31.306 --> 33:32.387 Because, I don't know. 33:32.547 --> 33:33.508 You were incensed. 33:33.588 --> 33:34.488 I was so incensed. 33:34.508 --> 33:35.229 Do you know what I did? 33:35.249 --> 33:40.973 I looked at their contents page and I noticed the number of the reviews editor was published in the magazine. 33:41.293 --> 33:43.395 That's an invitation to call him up and berate him. 33:43.895 --> 33:44.315 What's the cheat? 33:44.335 --> 33:44.975 Did you really call him up? 33:44.995 --> 33:46.135 Well, I thought I'm going to call him up. 33:46.195 --> 33:48.776 I'm going to give this idiot a piece of my mind. 33:48.856 --> 33:49.056 Yeah. 33:49.676 --> 33:50.396 Because he's missed it. 33:50.436 --> 33:51.577 He's completely missed it. 33:52.037 --> 33:53.637 Life Aquatic is a flawed film. 33:53.957 --> 33:57.538 It's not a perfect film, but most of it is incredible. 33:57.978 --> 33:59.038 Some of it's incredible. 33:59.318 --> 34:04.819 And you can't tell hundreds and thousands of readers that it's a three out of five and they shouldn't bother. 34:05.139 --> 34:08.880 And then give Alexander four out of five. 34:09.440 --> 34:14.005 Give Closer, which is the biggest load of old rubbish I've ever seen, four out of five. 34:14.266 --> 34:20.052 Give Lemony Snicket, which is the crappest bit of characterless dross, four out of five. 34:20.072 --> 34:21.113 Give Ray, which is... Did you see Ray? 34:24.597 --> 34:25.198 I have seen Ray, yeah. 34:25.218 --> 34:26.479 What do you think of Ray, out of five? 34:26.499 --> 34:27.900 Er, I'd give it three. 34:28.201 --> 34:28.961 They gave it four. 34:29.342 --> 34:31.103 Jackass the movie, out of five, what would you give it? 34:31.624 --> 34:32.965 Jackass the movie, I'd give that four. 34:33.365 --> 34:33.986 They gave it four. 34:34.166 --> 34:35.588 Attack of the Clones, what would you give it? 34:36.088 --> 34:37.409 I'd give that er, two. 34:37.750 --> 34:38.650 Five, they gave it. 34:38.751 --> 34:39.211 Five?! 34:39.251 --> 34:41.093 Yeah, and they give the life aquatic three. 34:41.433 --> 34:44.296 Empire, you're not a magazine, you're a catalogue. 34:44.596 --> 34:48.119 I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore! 34:48.540 --> 34:48.780 Yes. 34:49.921 --> 34:54.722 You know, I actually rather like Empire, but it just seems a bit spineless as a magazine at the moment. 34:54.802 --> 35:00.903 But Joe, man, that's the thing with the critical landscape in the modern world, it's totally uneven, it's ludicrous. 35:00.983 --> 35:08.865 What they should do is what Brian Eno suggests in his diaries, is print at the bottom of every review their personal top five best and worst. 35:08.885 --> 35:10.145 So you can tell how stupid they are. 35:10.266 --> 35:11.766 Well, so you've got some way of judging it. 35:12.586 --> 35:19.797 I mean, we shoot our mouths off on this show about all kinds of things in a very ill-informed way and make a lot of people very irritated about our opinions. 35:20.337 --> 35:21.158 But you know what? 35:21.199 --> 35:25.485 There's an American video games magazine called Electronic Gaming Monthly and they have three people review everything. 35:26.641 --> 35:28.643 three little reviews instead of one big one. 35:28.743 --> 35:29.023 Yeah. 35:29.403 --> 35:30.324 That's quite a good technique. 35:30.504 --> 35:31.445 Three differences of opinion. 35:31.605 --> 35:39.570 People just love reviewing things and they, it's the internet age of, you know, the internet style of criticism is just completely random and useless these days. 35:39.711 --> 35:39.811 Yeah. 35:40.131 --> 35:41.112 Word Magazine, man. 35:41.152 --> 35:42.132 You should buy Word Magazine. 35:42.172 --> 35:42.272 Yeah. 35:42.332 --> 35:43.113 Word Magazine is good. 35:43.133 --> 35:44.394 At least it's got lots of writing in it. 35:44.814 --> 35:50.956 They're talking about three articles in Empire, the rest of it's huge pictures of Ashton Kooster and adverts for ringtones. 35:50.976 --> 35:51.296 Steve Yeah. 35:51.816 --> 35:52.377 Well, there you go. 35:52.397 --> 35:53.377 Ricky whooshes. 35:53.397 --> 35:54.417 The Life Aquatic's brilliant. 35:54.457 --> 35:55.738 That's just the point I want to get across. 35:55.758 --> 35:56.118 Life Aquatic. 35:56.138 --> 35:56.818 Steve When does it come out? 35:56.838 --> 35:57.778 Ricky It's a flawed masterpiece. 35:57.818 --> 35:58.379 Couple of weeks. 35:58.399 --> 35:59.459 Steve I can't wait to see it. 35:59.479 --> 36:02.560 Ricky And don't listen to people who just talk about the flaws and not the masterpiece aspect. 36:02.580 --> 36:04.220 Steve Like us, for example. 36:04.240 --> 36:04.601 Ricky Yeah. 36:05.061 --> 36:08.482 Steve I'm as mad as hell and I'm not gonna take this anymore! 36:19.311 --> 36:19.931 That's very good. 36:20.211 --> 36:21.892 Spitting games from Snow Patrol. 36:21.952 --> 36:23.333 Well done, Snow Patrol. 36:23.493 --> 36:24.354 That's very good. 36:24.654 --> 36:25.874 Four out of five I'd give that. 36:25.894 --> 36:27.315 Hmm, four out of five. 36:27.615 --> 36:30.877 Someone texted in angrily saying Ray deserves ten out of ten. 36:32.290 --> 36:36.376 Was that actually Ray texting Ray from the grave? 36:36.596 --> 36:40.721 I'll tell you what, Ray is just a performance with no real film around it. 36:40.962 --> 36:43.365 It's an amazing performance from Jamie Foxx. 36:43.605 --> 36:44.286 Tour de force. 36:44.507 --> 36:48.452 You know, the thing I think about biopics generally is they're always just lies. 36:48.492 --> 36:49.473 They're never right. 36:50.174 --> 37:13.163 so they're not really useful in terms of teaching you about someone and they're also always very cliche because you know we both like biopics a lot because they always fall into the fantastic trap of having you know historicizing moments dramatizing moments that weren't like encapsulated in a couple of seconds like there's a fantastic moment in ray where someone goes ray don't mix blues and gospel no one's ever done that before 37:14.023 --> 37:16.126 Like that, as if they're two chemicals, you know? 37:16.146 --> 37:17.748 And it's gonna be an explosion. 37:17.828 --> 37:19.330 A rock and roll explosion! 37:19.351 --> 37:20.572 A ribbon blues blast! 37:20.592 --> 37:25.078 The fantastic moment in The Doors when he composes, uh, My Fire. 37:25.759 --> 37:29.624 Biopics are usually fantastically funny, but the problem with Ray is it's not that funny. 37:30.225 --> 37:58.854 funny i know they should work that either they should go completely mental on the cliches or they should just do mad conjecture about their lives exactly exactly like the hours and the times did you ever see that that was about uh a meeting between john lennon john lennon and brian eppstein and their sort of homosexual relationship yeah but pure conjecture but it was really interesting it was brilliant amazing classic moment in the beach boys documentary uh not documentary but biopic i think it's called summer dreams where they're stood out and someone says uh 37:59.574 --> 38:00.355 Hey, how you doing? 38:00.675 --> 38:01.496 Yeah, pretty good. 38:01.516 --> 38:06.081 You know, I've been having a lot of fun, fun, fun, but soon my daddy's gonna take my T-bird away. 38:06.101 --> 38:08.443 And Brian Wilson goes, Wait! 38:08.924 --> 38:10.666 Let's get into the studio right now! 38:11.066 --> 38:11.947 That's how it happened, man. 38:11.967 --> 38:13.549 There are a couple of good scenes in Ray. 38:13.569 --> 38:14.490 There's a good scene in Ray. 38:15.170 --> 38:31.440 Ray sort of reminds you that in the old days when bands recorded records they used to, the whole band would go into a room and they'd go one, two, three and then they'd play it and at the end they'd finish the whole record and the quality of a record depended on the atmosphere in the room in a three minute period which probably doesn't happen anymore really. 38:31.460 --> 38:32.520 Some bands still do it like that. 38:32.660 --> 38:33.461 More and more? 38:33.581 --> 38:34.962 Well good, I think that's a good thing. 38:35.822 --> 38:36.403 Is that it? 38:37.044 --> 38:37.804 That was your point. 38:38.946 --> 38:42.250 We've got Ditties in the Dock coming up very shortly and it's a jack-off. 38:42.490 --> 38:49.578 It's a Michael Jackson play-off, because of course next week marks the official end of his career, so we decided we'd get a Michael Jackson record out. 38:49.598 --> 38:50.199 Can't say that! 38:50.219 --> 38:51.040 Did you not read the memo? 38:51.500 --> 38:52.221 I did read the memo. 38:52.241 --> 38:54.683 We're basically not allowed to talk about Jacko at all. 38:54.703 --> 38:55.464 Our regulator expects us. 39:09.318 --> 39:10.019 I can't even read. 39:10.039 --> 39:13.901 To treat this court case in the same way as any trial happening here were fair and balanced. 39:14.442 --> 39:14.762 He did it. 39:14.802 --> 39:15.502 He didn't do it. 39:15.702 --> 39:19.705 To this end, please do not make ad hoc comments about the Jacko trial. 39:19.785 --> 39:20.666 Oh, ad hoc. 39:21.066 --> 39:22.267 Oh, Joe Hock. 39:22.287 --> 39:25.729 So we're gonna have to- it's gonna be tough to get through digits in the dot without making any Jacko jokes. 39:25.869 --> 39:27.571 Yeah, especially ad hoc Jacko jokes. 39:27.611 --> 39:27.911 Yeah. 39:28.291 --> 39:36.361 It's weird though, don't you think, I don't know if this counts, I hope this is not an ad hoc Jacko comment, but it's weird that it's absolutely not a problem to play Michael Jackson music. 39:36.421 --> 39:44.792 Somehow the music transcends any rubbish that's going on in his life, in a way that Gary Glitter music doesn't really, about the Glitter man. 39:45.032 --> 39:45.773 Yeah, that's true. 39:46.013 --> 39:47.095 But it's a nice thing, I think. 39:47.475 --> 39:52.224 Anyway, we'll be back very shortly with Ditty's in the Dock and here's the doors. 39:52.244 --> 39:55.329 No, it's not the doors, it's the cars. 39:55.750 --> 39:57.012 I knew it was some object or item. 40:08.815 --> 40:10.918 Right, we better be quick with this because we've only got 15 minutes. 40:11.038 --> 40:12.540 It's time for Dizzy's in the Dock. 40:12.840 --> 40:18.447 Joe and I are battling it out for who gets to play the final song of our show here on XFM. 40:18.707 --> 40:21.470 And today it's a battle between two Michael Jackson classics. 40:22.011 --> 40:23.272 Joe, do you want to go first or shall I? 40:23.393 --> 40:23.733 Why not? 40:23.793 --> 40:24.354 I'll go first. 40:24.394 --> 40:25.215 I think I'll go first. 40:25.515 --> 40:26.216 OK, you go first. 40:26.236 --> 40:29.798 OK, well, it's obviously tricky picking a Michael Jackson track, because they're all so fantastic. 40:30.499 --> 40:33.941 And it's hard to pick a sort of interesting and obscure one, because there aren't any. 40:34.762 --> 40:36.884 So I've decided to choose The Girl Is Mine. 40:37.204 --> 40:39.365 It's a fantastic duet with Paul McCartney. 40:40.066 --> 40:43.328 If you don't remember it, it goes... It's a beautiful song, isn't it, Adam? 40:43.649 --> 40:50.534 The girl is mine I don't understand the way you think Saying that she's yours, not mine Like that. 40:50.774 --> 40:51.234 Very nice. 40:51.294 --> 40:54.717 And then it's got the fantastic spoken passage in the middle, of course. 40:55.057 --> 40:56.998 Michael, we're not going to fight about this, OK? 40:57.379 --> 41:00.080 Paul, I think I told you, I'm a lover, not a fighter. 41:00.821 --> 41:02.822 Yeah, but that's exactly what's got you into trouble. 41:03.923 --> 41:04.564 Oh, steady. 41:04.984 --> 41:05.844 Anyway, so the girl is mine. 41:05.864 --> 41:06.965 Did you not read the memo? 41:07.005 --> 41:10.307 If you want to hear Michael Jackson with The Girl Is Mine, there's a wonderful song to sing along to. 41:10.347 --> 41:12.769 If you're with someone today, you can, you know, act it out between you. 41:13.049 --> 41:14.931 Otherwise, it'll just make you feel very happy. 41:15.191 --> 41:19.233 And maybe if you're involved in a violent struggle over a woman, it could clear things up. 41:19.454 --> 41:22.596 0 8 7 1, triple 2, 1 0 4 9, to hear The Girl Is Mine. 41:22.736 --> 41:23.596 And it is verses. 41:23.636 --> 41:24.177 What's your choice? 41:24.577 --> 41:27.080 Well, my choice is a stone classic. 41:27.120 --> 41:28.201 It's a floor filler. 41:28.221 --> 41:35.830 In all my years of DJing at parties, bar mitzvahs and weddings, I rely on this track to fill any floor, no matter how tough the crowd. 41:35.890 --> 41:37.452 It's I Want You Back by the Jackson 5. 41:45.300 --> 41:46.241 That's the way it goes. 41:46.561 --> 41:47.702 And it's an amazing song. 41:47.722 --> 41:48.682 I'm sure you're all familiar with it. 41:48.702 --> 41:50.544 I don't need to remind you too much about it. 41:50.784 --> 41:53.245 I Want You Back versus The Girl Is Mine. 41:53.285 --> 41:54.266 That's the choice today. 41:54.526 --> 41:55.426 One more motivation. 41:56.147 --> 42:07.474 Everyone who calls, everyone who gets on air wins either a copy of The Village on DVD or Mark Rowland's fascinating book, Everything I Know I Learned From TV, which is a philosophy book with philosophy explained through popular television programs. 42:07.494 --> 42:07.734 0-8-7-1-2-2-2-1-0-4-9. 42:09.495 --> 42:11.696 I Want You Back or The Girl Is Mine. 42:11.736 --> 42:12.817 That's all you have to vote for. 42:22.947 --> 42:23.427 I like that one. 42:23.467 --> 42:25.089 That's Crafty from New Order. 42:26.670 --> 42:28.992 That's a new song from the New Order combo. 42:29.832 --> 42:32.954 And now it is the final play off of this week's Dit Is In The Dock. 42:33.015 --> 42:38.819 It's a Michael Jackson off to commemorate the potential end of his career beginning next week. 42:39.579 --> 42:41.201 A last chance to play a Michael Jackson track. 42:41.561 --> 42:42.982 We've got five callers on the line. 42:43.442 --> 42:45.844 It is The Girl Is Mine versus I Want You Back. 42:47.105 --> 42:47.986 So let's go to Rory. 42:48.086 --> 42:48.686 Hello, Rory. 42:49.267 --> 42:49.607 Hello. 42:50.007 --> 42:50.908 How are you doing, Rory? 42:51.528 --> 42:52.169 I'm fine. 42:52.249 --> 42:52.809 I'm dandy. 42:53.150 --> 42:53.490 Well done. 42:53.510 --> 42:54.391 Congratulations for getting through. 42:54.411 --> 42:57.174 You win either a copy of the philosophy book or the village on DVD. 42:57.194 --> 42:58.935 Everyone's going to go for the DVD, aren't they? 42:59.696 --> 43:00.277 Yeah. 43:00.377 --> 43:00.717 Yeah? 43:01.077 --> 43:02.239 Come on, we may not have both. 43:03.134 --> 43:03.654 There's not enough? 43:03.714 --> 43:04.875 No, there's not enough to give them both. 43:05.115 --> 43:06.657 Someone's got to go for the philosophy book. 43:07.437 --> 43:08.678 Is it just philosophy in there? 43:08.838 --> 43:09.979 Read a random bit. 43:10.560 --> 43:11.180 A random bit. 43:11.420 --> 43:12.561 Palmer, however, demurs. 43:12.901 --> 43:17.745 The execution of innocent children is, despite his flirtation with utilitarianism, apparently not his bag at all. 43:17.885 --> 43:19.886 Come on, that sounds like good times in there. 43:19.906 --> 43:25.651 That's a chapter all about 24, the TV series 24, and all the philosophical issues that it has in it. 43:25.671 --> 43:27.072 Charging the philosophical issues. 43:27.092 --> 43:30.034 Rory, hello, are you still listening? 43:32.996 --> 43:33.917 Yeah, just about. 43:34.117 --> 43:38.299 So is it the DVD you want, mate? 43:38.339 --> 43:39.960 Actually, no, I think I'll go for the book. 43:40.020 --> 43:41.921 Ooh, you're a clever one. 43:41.941 --> 43:42.461 Classy. 43:42.501 --> 43:43.061 There you go. 43:43.141 --> 43:43.741 Very good, Rory. 43:43.761 --> 43:44.902 And what are you voting for? 43:45.062 --> 43:46.543 Is it I Want You Back or The Girl Is Mine? 43:46.843 --> 43:48.264 Well, I want I Want You Back. 43:48.284 --> 43:49.224 Ooh. 43:49.424 --> 43:53.626 Of course you do, because you know that it's going to make you start shaking your booty. 43:53.786 --> 43:54.867 That's one nil to Buxton. 43:54.887 --> 43:55.447 Thanks, Rory. 43:55.487 --> 43:56.308 On line two is Trevor. 43:56.328 --> 43:56.808 Hello, Trevor. 43:57.188 --> 43:57.288 Hello. 43:57.348 --> 43:58.069 How are you doing? 43:58.529 --> 43:58.769 I'm good. 43:59.229 --> 44:00.510 Are you clever or stupid? 44:03.444 --> 44:03.984 You're a chef. 44:04.145 --> 44:10.789 You are, well, you're clever, but you're very tired at the end of the day and you want to just relax for the DVD, right? 44:11.630 --> 44:12.791 Yeah, the book sounded a bit boring. 44:13.091 --> 44:13.912 Oh, the book's good, man. 44:13.952 --> 44:14.532 The book's great. 44:14.933 --> 44:15.373 I'm gonna nip it. 44:15.393 --> 44:16.514 The book may well be better than the film. 44:16.534 --> 44:18.035 Probably got better ratings than the film anyway. 44:18.075 --> 44:19.576 Yeah, so you want to copy The Village? 44:20.297 --> 44:20.977 Yeah, might as well. 44:20.997 --> 44:21.497 There you go, you got it. 44:21.517 --> 44:22.198 And what are you voting for? 44:22.258 --> 44:23.739 Is it gonna be I Want You Back or The Girl Is Mine? 44:24.300 --> 44:24.880 The Girl Is Mine. 44:25.761 --> 44:26.581 It's one all! 44:27.042 --> 44:27.382 Sorry, mate? 44:29.451 --> 44:30.552 Have you, do you know the song? 44:30.953 --> 44:31.773 No, I don't know, I haven't heard it. 44:31.793 --> 44:32.054 What? 44:32.674 --> 44:33.715 It's quite a famous song. 44:33.735 --> 44:34.556 Ah, it's a fantastic song. 44:34.616 --> 44:37.439 It is good, I just heard it, queuing it up, cause we didn't, you heard it. 44:37.539 --> 44:38.380 We don't know, um. 44:38.400 --> 44:40.322 I don't know what's going on, really, doesn't it? 44:40.943 --> 44:41.223 Yeah. 44:41.323 --> 44:43.385 Well, you know, let's not talk about it. 44:44.006 --> 44:47.510 Thank you very much for calling, that's one all between the two Jack O'Tracks. 44:47.570 --> 44:49.111 Kay is on line three, hello Kay. 44:49.612 --> 44:49.932 Hiya. 44:49.972 --> 44:50.673 How are you? 44:51.477 --> 44:52.358 I'm well, thank you. 44:52.718 --> 44:57.301 Philosophy or sort of random historical rubbish for you? 44:57.602 --> 44:59.043 I'll go for the book. 44:59.363 --> 44:59.803 The book? 44:59.883 --> 45:00.744 Everyone's so clever. 45:01.384 --> 45:02.145 It is a good book. 45:02.245 --> 45:05.207 Mark Rowland's Everything I Know I Learned From TV. 45:05.667 --> 45:10.071 Subtitled Philosophy for the Unrepentant Couch Potato. 45:10.571 --> 45:11.172 It's good stuff. 45:11.592 --> 45:11.972 There you go. 45:11.992 --> 45:12.492 So you're getting that. 45:12.512 --> 45:13.373 And what are you voting for, Kate? 45:13.393 --> 45:14.174 Which Chaco-Traco? 45:14.634 --> 45:15.435 I want you back. 45:15.835 --> 45:16.916 Yeah, come on. 45:16.936 --> 45:18.257 Wow, it's 2-1 for Buxton. 45:19.574 --> 45:21.055 That's an extraordinary result. 45:21.196 --> 45:22.096 Thanks for calling, Kay. 45:22.837 --> 45:23.838 We've got Jason on line 4. 45:24.058 --> 45:24.559 Hello, Jason. 45:25.139 --> 45:25.539 Hello, mate. 45:26.080 --> 45:27.101 What are you up to, Jason? 45:27.801 --> 45:29.603 Just a bit of chopping out. 45:29.623 --> 45:31.004 A bit of chopping out? 45:31.565 --> 45:32.245 Are you killing people? 45:32.306 --> 45:33.607 Are you chopping up your wife? 45:33.627 --> 45:35.929 No, I'm chopping out a wolf. 45:36.505 --> 45:36.865 A wolf. 45:37.086 --> 45:38.067 You're chopping up a wolf. 45:38.087 --> 45:38.707 A wolf? 45:38.908 --> 45:40.990 Oh, right. 45:41.210 --> 45:41.730 Really? 45:43.032 --> 45:47.416 Hey, that's... Are you an electrician or are you just randomly chopping? 45:47.516 --> 45:47.997 Oh, okay. 45:48.097 --> 45:50.940 And do you know what you're doing or are you going to kill yourself? 45:52.455 --> 45:54.076 He's just chopping until he gets a shock. 45:54.396 --> 45:55.536 It's what he does for kicks. 45:55.936 --> 45:57.777 Randomly stabbing your finger into the wall. 45:57.817 --> 45:58.197 Chop shocks. 45:58.758 --> 46:04.120 Jason, do you want a twisty film or do you want a slightly boring... Interesting book. 46:04.680 --> 46:05.881 It's got to be the DVD. 46:06.061 --> 46:06.721 Well done. 46:06.761 --> 46:08.402 Have you seen The Village, Jason? 46:08.502 --> 46:09.562 I haven't, no. 46:09.662 --> 46:14.284 I'm not a big fan of M. Night Shyamalan, but The Village is probably one of the better ones. 46:15.024 --> 46:18.366 Although the twist is, as you would imagine, ludicrous. 46:18.566 --> 46:19.126 It's a good watch. 46:19.726 --> 46:20.627 So what are you going to vote for? 46:21.425 --> 46:22.186 And the girl is mine. 46:22.386 --> 46:25.368 That preset level pegging makes it so exciting. 46:25.888 --> 46:26.549 Thanks, Jason. 46:26.809 --> 46:27.830 Good luck with the electrics. 46:28.030 --> 46:29.030 That is to all. 46:29.091 --> 46:30.472 So this is the deciding vote. 46:30.512 --> 46:33.133 The final call from Steve is the deciding vote. 46:33.153 --> 46:33.654 Hello, Steve. 46:33.674 --> 46:34.374 Hello. 46:35.135 --> 46:38.057 Are you conscious of the momentousness of your decision? 46:38.439 --> 46:40.740 Yeah, it's very tense, I've been listening, it's very tense. 46:40.800 --> 46:44.562 Well, there's been a tense atmosphere throughout the whole show, not just in Ditches in the Dark. 46:45.082 --> 46:52.325 The sort of tension that comes when you don't know what you're going to say or what you're doing, or how to operate the machinery. 46:52.345 --> 46:53.466 What are you up to today, Steve? 46:53.706 --> 46:55.947 I've just finished washing my car and hoovering it out. 46:56.047 --> 46:57.288 I've just taken it for the car wash. 46:57.428 --> 46:59.789 Did you find anything surprising in your car when you cleaned it out? 46:59.829 --> 47:00.769 Anything you'd forgotten about? 47:01.189 --> 47:01.970 Yeah. 47:02.050 --> 47:02.410 Any money? 47:02.870 --> 47:06.653 A lot of old tapes, a bit of money, loads of rubbish on the floor, food. 47:07.454 --> 47:08.996 I've got to clean out my car. 47:09.056 --> 47:09.716 It's looking a lot better. 47:10.177 --> 47:10.937 Good, well done. 47:10.957 --> 47:15.501 That'll be a lovely drive the rest of the week until he starts building stuff on it again. 47:15.902 --> 47:16.582 So what would you like? 47:16.602 --> 47:19.825 Would you like the Swillage or the Burke? 47:20.586 --> 47:22.107 It'll have to go with the DVD I think. 47:22.347 --> 47:23.208 Well done, the DVD. 47:23.228 --> 47:23.969 Is it a double disc? 47:25.748 --> 47:26.349 No, it isn't. 47:26.809 --> 47:28.010 It's got four deleted scenes. 47:28.551 --> 47:29.491 Oh, amazing. 47:29.571 --> 47:34.756 And it's got one of M. Night Shawadee Wadee's home movies, which are always dreadful, but he always sticks one on every DVD. 47:34.796 --> 47:36.137 That sounds good. 47:36.297 --> 47:37.238 Yeah, really selling it there, man. 47:37.278 --> 47:38.439 Well, thanks, mate. 47:38.479 --> 47:39.120 So, let's see. 47:39.200 --> 47:39.901 What's this going to be? 47:39.921 --> 47:41.182 What are you going to vote for? 47:44.344 --> 47:45.405 I can't believe it! 47:45.445 --> 47:45.805 Cornish wins! 47:45.985 --> 47:48.046 I thought I had it nailed, but I want you back! 47:48.446 --> 47:49.427 People have heard it too much. 47:49.667 --> 47:50.367 It's overplayed. 47:50.407 --> 47:52.048 The Girl is Mine is a forgotten classic. 47:52.549 --> 47:53.229 Well done Steve. 47:53.429 --> 47:55.110 You're so clever and good looking. 47:55.370 --> 47:56.751 Look at your legs, they're so strong. 47:56.851 --> 47:57.832 Thanks for calling Steve. 47:59.192 --> 48:03.475 Thanks to everyone for calling in and thank you as well for all your messages, emails, texts. 48:04.637 --> 48:05.958 We'll see you next week. 48:05.998 --> 48:06.198 Bye! 48:32.834 --> 48:52.411 The doggone girl is mine I don't understand the way you think Saying that she's yours, not mine Sending roses and your silly dreams Really just a waste of time Because she's mine 49:07.697 --> 49:29.833 Cause doggone girl is mine I love you more than me Take you anywhere But I love you endlessly So come and go with me to one side 49:47.597 --> 49:56.920 Cause I really feel it's time And don't you tell you I'm the one for her Cause she said I blow her mind, the girl in mine 50:01.613 --> 50:02.213 She's mine. 50:02.233 --> 50:02.894 She's mine. 50:03.314 --> 50:06.376 No, no, no, she's mine. 50:37.841 --> 50:55.228 Michael, we're not gonna fight about this, okay? 50:55.508 --> 50:58.870 Oh, I think I told you, I'm a lover not a fighter. 51:01.128 --> 51:02.730 I've heard it all before, Michael. 51:02.770 --> 51:04.691 She told me that I'm her forever lover, you know. 51:04.711 --> 51:05.672 Don't you remember? 51:06.192 --> 51:08.834 Well, after loving me, she says she can love another. 51:08.894 --> 51:09.935 Is that what she said? 51:10.115 --> 51:10.976 Yeah, she said it. 51:11.056 --> 51:11.816 You keep dreaming. 51:11.836 --> 51:14.719 I don't believe it. 51:14.799 --> 51:17.701 No, the girl is mine. 51:17.761 --> 51:18.561 No, mine. 51:18.682 --> 51:19.462 You're mine. 51:19.582 --> 51:23.525 She's mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. 51:25.126 --> 51:25.567 XFM.