WEBVTT 00:01.971 --> 00:04.292 Today from four, John Holmes. 00:04.432 --> 00:06.493 From one, Liz Kershaw. 00:07.013 --> 00:10.134 Right now, it's Adam and Garf! 00:10.214 --> 00:14.036 Laura, Laura, plan the data, lollipop. 00:14.536 --> 00:17.817 Hello and welcome to the big British castle. 00:17.897 --> 00:21.478 It's time for Adam and Garf, the broadcast on your digi machine. 00:21.918 --> 00:25.040 Joe is away, pulsing round and round Los Angeles. 00:25.340 --> 00:28.821 But Mr. Jennings is here with his lovely, cheery face and patties ablaze. 00:30.051 --> 00:30.431 Yay! 00:30.651 --> 00:33.312 That's Vampire Weekend with cousins. 00:33.432 --> 00:37.392 Hey, this is Adam Buxton here, and I'm joined today by... Garth Jennings. 00:37.572 --> 00:38.513 How you doing, Garth? 00:38.573 --> 00:39.053 I'm very well. 00:39.073 --> 00:39.993 How you doing, Adam Buxton? 00:40.013 --> 00:40.713 I'm good, fine. 00:40.793 --> 00:41.413 Nice to see you. 00:41.473 --> 00:42.913 Beautiful day you've brought with you. 00:43.133 --> 00:44.034 Yeah, thanks for that. 00:44.634 --> 00:45.714 Yeah, Joe is away. 00:45.774 --> 00:46.914 He's in Los Angeles. 00:46.954 --> 00:50.855 I'm not exactly sure what he's doing there, but it's probably Ponce-shaped. 00:51.155 --> 00:55.056 I hope he doesn't get any sort of those viral infections he got last time I sat in. 00:55.156 --> 00:56.536 Remember, he got all shingled up, didn't he? 00:56.556 --> 00:57.336 He got shingles. 00:57.796 --> 00:59.497 He's in a right old viral state. 00:59.537 --> 01:00.197 That's right. 01:00.277 --> 01:04.059 Well, hopefully this is a, you know, a bug free trip for Joe. 01:04.079 --> 01:04.720 Stress free. 01:04.780 --> 01:05.360 Stress free. 01:05.420 --> 01:07.501 Just come back with a little pot belly and a cocktail. 01:09.062 --> 01:10.143 You've just described me. 01:11.703 --> 01:13.784 Thank you so much for coming and stepping in. 01:13.825 --> 01:20.148 You know, I think it's probably quite daunting for someone to visit our stinky little shack in the middle of nowhere. 01:20.188 --> 01:21.328 I wonder what you're about to say there. 01:21.409 --> 01:21.749 No, I 01:22.489 --> 01:33.652 to be honest this is like a holiday for me because normally at this time I'd be taking the kids to swimming lessons and that's at least two hours of you know running around in swimming pools and people not putting the right shoes on. 01:34.853 --> 01:35.993 Give them swimming lessons. 01:36.273 --> 01:36.593 Yeah. 01:36.673 --> 01:40.574 I mean they to teach them how to swim or to teach them how to swim really good. 01:40.914 --> 01:48.077 Well you have to because we've got quite a few kids I have to take the ones that can't swim while the others that are having the lessons are swimming up the other end of the pool. 01:48.157 --> 01:49.037 It's a really boring 01:50.237 --> 01:52.138 conversation to share with your listeners. 01:52.418 --> 01:54.179 Sorry about that. 01:54.219 --> 01:56.240 But the reason I mention it is because this is so nice. 01:56.320 --> 01:57.600 I've got a nice cup of coffee. 01:57.640 --> 01:57.820 Yeah. 01:58.080 --> 01:58.941 Sitting here with you lot. 01:59.021 --> 02:00.421 What kind of muffin have you got going on? 02:00.441 --> 02:01.302 It's a blueberry muffin. 02:01.462 --> 02:01.842 Mate! 02:01.942 --> 02:05.643 It's a little Australian place around the corner that does them and they're really warm and nice. 02:05.764 --> 02:06.584 What's it called? 02:06.864 --> 02:07.424 Blueberry. 02:07.544 --> 02:07.804 Oh what? 02:07.924 --> 02:08.965 The blueberry muffin or? 02:10.231 --> 02:11.151 I can't mention it. 02:11.492 --> 02:11.592 Oh. 02:11.732 --> 02:14.074 Because it'll be a BBC thing, won't it? 02:14.094 --> 02:16.196 OK, and it's called Caffeine. 02:16.516 --> 02:17.157 Caffeine? 02:17.217 --> 02:17.717 Caffeine. 02:17.757 --> 02:19.099 And are they all Australian? 02:19.219 --> 02:20.060 They're all Australian. 02:20.080 --> 02:21.521 There are a lot of piercings there. 02:23.223 --> 02:24.884 No, they're pretty pierce free. 02:25.164 --> 02:26.305 A few tattoos, I think. 02:27.525 --> 02:35.289 It's a shame that they're pierce free, because I was just trying to think of some tortured way of getting Bronhomme in there. 02:35.969 --> 02:36.870 Oh, Bronhomme. 02:37.010 --> 02:39.551 We've got a clip that someone created for us, actually. 02:39.571 --> 02:40.632 We'll play it a bit later on. 02:41.272 --> 02:42.553 Taffyn is on this weekend. 02:42.893 --> 02:43.974 Is it actually playing? 02:44.114 --> 02:46.375 I think it's tomorrow, somewhere on the BBC. 02:46.475 --> 02:48.176 Pierce Brosnan as Taffyn. 02:49.056 --> 03:07.807 is it tonight wow that's exciting um oh have you got the clip there james have you got the extended oh just play the normal one then maybe you shouldn't be living here someone sent in a uh even more extended one that we might play a little 03:08.027 --> 03:10.388 But later on, that's exciting, isn't it? 03:10.408 --> 03:15.950 Now listen, Garth, you're taking over Joe's Torpedo Commander Black Squadron duties today. 03:15.970 --> 03:20.492 Yeah, I'm going to stand in like the new boss, the new Sergeant Major who's come in to shape up the troops. 03:20.572 --> 03:24.634 Black Squadron, of course, is our elite listing force that listened to the show live. 03:25.254 --> 03:36.799 from 10 until 1030 and they are the fittest of the fist, the best of the best, and they are going to get a squadron command right now. 03:36.959 --> 03:45.363 Once the squadron command is issued, their challenge is to take photographs enacting that challenge and then send them in to the following address. 03:46.303 --> 04:02.320 They can either text them to 64046 or email the pictures to adamandjoe.sixmusic at bbc.co.uk and of course if you send in your pictures you are agreeing thereby for us to possibly feature some of them on the blog 04:03.741 --> 04:21.568 and yeah that's pretty much all you need to know I think yeah so Garth we're going to fire off the strokes taken for a fool immediately after you issue this command so standby black squadron with your cameras here is the command now from commander Jennings okay the command is catalog pose 04:23.822 --> 04:40.494 Yes That's the strokes with taken for a fool Hey, this is Adam Buxton here with Garth Jennings this week filling in for Joe who is away Very nice to be with you listeners this lovely Saturday morning I mean, it's the kind of morning that makes you feel very happy to be alive. 04:41.055 --> 04:42.496 I'm so happy to be alive Adam 04:43.076 --> 04:45.757 And I hope it's nice where you are as well, listeners. 04:45.817 --> 04:48.398 If it's not, if it's rainy, then we can't be held responsible! 04:49.799 --> 04:53.700 Hey Garth, how many times have you seen people stealing things? 04:53.920 --> 04:56.341 Have you ever witnessed a theft in public? 04:56.741 --> 04:57.082 No. 04:57.102 --> 05:02.304 I don't really... I remember watching my sister try to steal something when she was little. 05:02.704 --> 05:03.244 We were kids. 05:03.304 --> 05:03.964 Bit of shoplifting. 05:04.104 --> 05:07.646 Little bit of minor shoplifting, but that... No, I don't think I've seen anyone. 05:07.826 --> 05:10.867 I came home the other day to find my bike had almost been stolen. 05:11.187 --> 05:11.627 Oh, really? 05:11.667 --> 05:13.068 There was someone actually fiddling with it? 05:13.148 --> 05:17.592 No, they weren't actually, they'd sort of tried to fiddle with it and then thought, ah, it's not going to come off. 05:17.612 --> 05:19.693 So they thought, let's batter it to pieces instead. 05:19.793 --> 05:19.993 Yes. 05:20.113 --> 05:20.694 Thanks for that. 05:20.894 --> 05:21.574 Whoever you are. 05:21.634 --> 05:22.295 Yeah. 05:22.355 --> 05:23.416 I can't actually steal it. 05:23.436 --> 05:25.457 I'll just kick the spokes until the wheels all bend. 05:25.477 --> 05:32.402 You see, if you did that in shops, if you thought, oh no, I can't steal this, you know, this crockery set, I'd just smash it on the floor instead. 05:33.022 --> 05:33.803 It'd be quite a good idea. 05:34.123 --> 05:36.085 I wanted to steal those bananas, but they're looking. 05:36.265 --> 05:37.125 I'll just stamp on them. 05:39.107 --> 05:39.407 Right. 05:39.767 --> 05:41.749 What is the logic of just trashing the bike? 05:41.849 --> 05:42.950 You're so outraged. 05:43.170 --> 05:45.252 This guy's chained his bike up properly. 05:45.692 --> 05:46.773 What's that all about? 05:46.933 --> 05:48.114 I'm gonna kick my wheels in. 05:48.594 --> 05:49.415 I'm gonna teach him a lesson. 05:49.455 --> 05:55.039 And I'm gonna really bend his bell right round so he'd have to twist his wrist at an awkward angle to play it. 05:55.059 --> 05:56.420 You can't say bend his bell. 05:59.963 --> 06:20.859 the other day I was in the supermarket and I was in the supermarket queue and I looked around and next to where everyone was queuing up they had one of those deli counter things bits of couscous and strawberries and you know all that with a sneeze shield on top of it you know they have like a little sneeze shield so you can't just go and everyone gets you 06:21.779 --> 06:22.059 germs. 06:22.399 --> 06:36.747 Anyway, there was a lady wandering around, she must have been around the 50, 55 mark, fairly smartly dressed, and she had a little tub and she was spooning bits of couscous in there into the tub, a few strawberries here, a bit of chicken, salad. 06:37.087 --> 06:38.868 Cuscous, strawberries and peaches? 06:39.429 --> 06:40.329 She was trying everything. 06:40.569 --> 06:41.049 Okay. 06:41.109 --> 06:41.930 She was just eating it. 06:42.537 --> 06:43.378 Just having a little eat. 06:43.719 --> 06:46.523 Like it was a buffet on a cruise. 06:46.643 --> 06:47.805 No, no, no. 06:47.845 --> 06:50.348 OK, because that's naughty. 06:50.629 --> 06:55.215 Yeah, I don't think she was putting the spoon back in, but she was basically just treating it as a free buffet. 06:56.337 --> 06:57.459 Just wandering around there. 06:57.719 --> 07:01.202 And then at the end of it... There is a little bit of license there though, isn't it? 07:01.262 --> 07:01.862 Really? 07:01.903 --> 07:06.747 Well, we often give our kids a bag of grapes at the beginning. 07:06.887 --> 07:06.987 Yeah. 07:07.067 --> 07:08.188 Because that keeps them quiet. 07:08.208 --> 07:09.589 Yeah, but you're gonna pay for the grapes. 07:09.609 --> 07:12.071 Yeah, but by the time we get to the end, there's only about three grapes left. 07:12.091 --> 07:13.432 So you think, oh, I may as well not pay. 07:13.552 --> 07:13.672 Yeah. 07:14.893 --> 07:17.375 Sorry, so you know we're talking about people stealing things. 07:17.395 --> 07:18.256 It's me! 07:18.276 --> 07:21.959 Are you seriously, like, you have the grapes and then by the end you think, oh, they've gone there. 07:22.040 --> 07:24.562 Well, I think they weigh the grapes, don't they? 07:24.582 --> 07:26.243 There's only two grapes on there. 07:26.303 --> 07:27.624 Oh, I see, they weigh them. 07:27.905 --> 07:30.947 So you've got four grapes and a mass of stalks? 07:31.128 --> 07:31.608 Yeah. 07:32.529 --> 07:36.232 Yeah, we're too poor to afford the whole bunch. 07:36.272 --> 07:38.254 We just love the stalks. 07:38.574 --> 07:40.236 We just nibble on those when we get home. 07:40.916 --> 07:46.279 So I feel like I, you're not impressed though by the fact that this lady was doing some free shoplifting. 07:46.379 --> 07:48.060 I mean, maybe that doesn't count as shoplifting. 07:48.080 --> 07:49.141 She was just having a nice little buffet. 07:49.181 --> 07:51.582 You know, the trick is to be blase, I guess, isn't it? 07:51.662 --> 07:55.645 To just get in there with a spoon and not try and look like you're trying to hide it. 07:55.905 --> 07:56.145 Yeah. 07:56.245 --> 07:58.366 Just make it look like, yeah, I'm just having a bite to eat. 07:58.386 --> 07:59.267 That would be fun, wouldn't it? 07:59.307 --> 08:03.049 And then just go and uncork a bottle of wine, have a little glass of wine. 08:03.929 --> 08:05.030 Top tips from Garth Jennings. 08:05.150 --> 08:06.731 Yeah, that's all I can offer you people. 08:07.031 --> 08:09.934 Right now, here's a free play for you, listeners. 08:10.374 --> 08:18.000 This is a band that I knew nothing about before last week when I filched the CD from someone's desk here at Six Music. 08:18.020 --> 08:18.521 That's not true. 08:18.961 --> 08:23.545 It was given to me by someone legitimately, because even that's a crime. 08:23.565 --> 08:24.666 You can't do that. 08:24.706 --> 08:26.528 You can't just go around stealing CDs. 08:26.568 --> 08:27.569 The world's gone mad. 08:27.589 --> 08:28.830 You can't steal anything these days. 08:29.851 --> 08:30.911 This is tune yards. 08:31.091 --> 08:32.753 Do you know anything about tune yards? 08:32.773 --> 08:35.174 The only thing I know about them is that they're spelt funny. 08:35.395 --> 08:38.217 They use upper and lower case. 08:39.137 --> 08:51.066 And when I listened to this, to me it sounded like a kind of feisty black lady singing the heck out of an unusual hybrid hip-hop indie pop song. 08:51.246 --> 08:51.767 I'm sold. 08:52.227 --> 08:58.412 But then I googled her and she is about as unlikely looking as you could possibly imagine. 08:58.533 --> 08:59.253 You should check her out. 08:59.273 --> 09:00.815 I think her name is Meryl something or other. 09:01.355 --> 09:06.660 She's a kind of blunt featured white lady. 09:06.820 --> 09:09.482 I think she's a kind of New York... She'll be so pleased with that description. 09:09.662 --> 09:12.245 Did you hear what Adam called you on the radio? 09:12.685 --> 09:14.266 A blunt featured white lady. 09:14.286 --> 09:15.107 That came out wrong. 09:15.127 --> 09:17.849 But she's attractive. 09:18.089 --> 09:19.790 In a blunt featured kind of way. 09:19.910 --> 09:24.714 Yeah, but she's incredibly charismatic and she's got this amazing way of singing and delivering her stuff. 09:24.734 --> 09:29.637 So some of the sounds you hear on this track that I'm about to play, this track is called My Country. 09:29.937 --> 09:34.140 And it sort of starts off with, it sounds a little bit like a horn section, sort of going... 09:36.943 --> 09:38.448 And I think it's her just making those noises. 09:38.468 --> 09:40.695 I really enjoyed this. 09:40.775 --> 09:41.658 I hope you like it too. 09:41.678 --> 09:43.022 This is Tune Yards with my country. 09:45.662 --> 09:51.406 That's Desmond Decker there with 007, Shantytown. 09:51.786 --> 09:56.830 Adam and Joe's show, but we're here joined by Garth, who's filling in for Joe today. 09:56.910 --> 09:57.790 Good morning, everybody. 09:57.971 --> 09:58.811 How you doing, Garth? 09:58.971 --> 09:59.672 I'm doing all right. 09:59.892 --> 10:00.392 Yeah, good. 10:00.632 --> 10:04.395 Later on in the program, we've got some Song Wars songs to play, you listeners. 10:04.735 --> 10:12.600 Garth and I entered into the challenge of writing songs, composing songs and recording songs on the subject of toys and games. 10:12.800 --> 10:13.041 Yeah. 10:13.901 --> 10:14.802 How do you think yours went? 10:15.463 --> 10:16.584 It's gone alright, actually. 10:17.145 --> 10:19.169 Yeah, it was a mad dash. 10:19.249 --> 10:19.890 Quietly confident? 10:21.673 --> 10:21.894 Yep. 10:22.234 --> 10:27.784 I think that I've created the most unlistenably demented pile of dogplops. 10:29.599 --> 10:30.920 that's ever been on this programme. 10:31.200 --> 10:35.203 And if you're a long-time listener, that's quite an achievement, you will know, right? 10:35.243 --> 10:36.984 So… You're just putting yourself down. 10:37.784 --> 10:39.245 I mean, obviously… Didn't you win last week? 10:39.345 --> 10:40.586 I did, yeah, but… See? 10:40.626 --> 10:41.747 This is no Katie and Willy. 10:41.807 --> 10:42.908 Katie and Willy. 10:42.988 --> 10:44.289 That was a… That's a smash. 10:44.329 --> 10:45.149 You could release that. 10:45.469 --> 10:48.892 Welcome, lovely couple to a happy family. 10:48.992 --> 10:50.152 It's the way you say families. 10:50.212 --> 10:52.254 This is no Kate and Willy, let me tell you. 10:52.874 --> 11:14.849 yeah but you've done this before you've done this whole build up where you've gone nah it's not gonna be any good then wham you come out with your weapons of mass destruction all right blow me away in your song wars you can be the judge of that shortly after 11 o'clock we're going to be unveiling those songs but our black squadron command this morning was catalogue pose and you've been sending in your photographs thank you very much black squadron i can't believe how 11:14.929 --> 11:17.011 how many people do this for you every week. 11:17.091 --> 11:17.832 It's incredible. 11:17.912 --> 11:18.752 And they're really good. 11:19.153 --> 11:27.240 There's a guy from Adam from Sheffield has managed to find a human skeleton and dress up and put it into a catalogue pose in a brilliant way. 11:27.260 --> 11:27.680 Look at that. 11:27.700 --> 11:28.401 That's perfect. 11:28.481 --> 11:34.226 Sometimes torpedo commander Cornish sits there and he sort of goes, I think one of these photos were hanging around already. 11:34.266 --> 11:35.707 I mean, there's one here definitely. 11:36.388 --> 11:46.414 that someone sent in a very nice photograph of their dog in a sweater, looking extremely handsome, very handsome dog, from Mark in Gretna Green, or maybe Mark Gretner, is that his name? 11:46.955 --> 11:47.295 I don't know. 11:47.715 --> 11:49.356 Anyway, but he's in front of a Christmas tree. 11:49.396 --> 11:50.217 Yeah, he's giving it away. 11:50.257 --> 11:51.558 Mark, that's a giveaway, mate. 11:51.578 --> 11:55.860 You just had that one in the locker there, and you just popped it out for the squadron. 11:56.160 --> 11:58.262 That is not squadron-like behaviour, Mark. 11:58.282 --> 11:59.463 Yeah, you're out of the squadron. 11:59.483 --> 12:00.403 Just drop and give me 20. 12:01.584 --> 12:02.104 A lot more than 20. 12:02.284 --> 12:04.145 Alright, one-handed. 12:04.406 --> 12:04.906 Thank you, Mark. 12:05.669 --> 12:07.730 I've got this one from Steve from Saltash. 12:08.490 --> 12:09.471 That's phenomenal. 12:09.851 --> 12:11.552 The man has got into his garden. 12:11.592 --> 12:13.012 He's got into a three-piece suit. 12:13.032 --> 12:14.313 He's got, I think that's a wig. 12:14.493 --> 12:16.414 I hope it is, and I hope I haven't offended you. 12:17.554 --> 12:19.995 And he is next to all his garden. 12:20.015 --> 12:21.716 And he's pointing at the shrubbery with his hand. 12:21.736 --> 12:26.138 He's got the point right, because they always do that sort of casual look into the distance, like, oh, what's that over there? 12:26.198 --> 12:27.979 That's the key to a catalogue pose. 12:28.019 --> 12:29.600 It's that, oh, hello, what's that? 12:29.900 --> 12:30.680 That's my yacht. 12:31.821 --> 12:33.001 Over there is my yacht. 12:33.281 --> 12:35.102 That's the pose that I imagine that they're doing. 12:35.202 --> 12:38.664 And it doesn't matter whether they're modeling underwear, watches, or bathroom equipment. 12:38.704 --> 12:40.025 It's always, that's my yacht. 12:40.065 --> 12:43.486 And then if they're waving, I'm waving at my wife on my yacht. 12:45.327 --> 12:47.429 Darling, you're standing on my yacht. 12:49.650 --> 12:50.170 How are you? 12:50.790 --> 12:53.352 That's my favorite pose as well, sometimes for photographs. 12:53.432 --> 12:54.592 I like to look into the distance. 12:54.772 --> 12:56.073 What's your favorite photograph pose? 12:56.313 --> 12:59.515 Oh, it's definitely a mouth open if I'm caught in the midst of laughing. 12:59.795 --> 13:00.956 I do a fake, ha! 13:01.616 --> 13:03.578 Yeah, I've got a cheesy grin. 13:03.878 --> 13:05.960 I've got a chin stroke where I look confused. 13:06.201 --> 13:06.461 Hmm. 13:06.861 --> 13:07.682 I'm thinking about it. 13:07.963 --> 13:10.025 Then I've got a point at my wife on the yacht. 13:10.825 --> 13:12.607 And I think that's it. 13:12.627 --> 13:14.249 Well, that's all I've got in my locker three. 13:14.449 --> 13:18.273 My grandma just had one setting which was just before the photograph was taken. 13:18.313 --> 13:20.175 She'd lick her lips a bit like a snake. 13:21.876 --> 13:24.338 And then bare her teeth. 13:24.398 --> 13:24.938 Her fangs. 13:25.038 --> 13:25.578 Yeah, her fangs. 13:25.678 --> 13:27.340 And do this really fake smile. 13:27.660 --> 13:29.321 And it was the same in every photograph. 13:29.621 --> 13:33.143 Except she was really funny and always looked good in the photographs. 13:33.163 --> 13:37.086 But she had, when he went into photograph mode, she just slipped into this routine. 13:38.027 --> 13:39.608 And ding! 13:39.888 --> 13:41.909 My dad does the dead-eyed smile. 13:42.270 --> 13:42.670 Oh does he? 13:42.710 --> 13:42.970 Yeah. 13:43.630 --> 13:45.252 Like no mirth whatsoever behind the eyes. 13:45.572 --> 13:48.414 But it kind of forces his mouth up into a grimace. 13:48.814 --> 13:50.055 A kind of rictus grin. 13:50.635 --> 13:54.657 But there's nothing behind the eyes, at all. 13:54.677 --> 13:55.798 Dead behind the eyes. 13:55.938 --> 13:56.999 I don't like smiling. 13:57.359 --> 13:58.680 That's his line. 13:59.000 --> 14:02.522 Alright now, we've got some Sparrow and the Workshop coming your way. 14:02.542 --> 14:03.162 That's good. 14:03.202 --> 14:04.923 Yeah, okay, this is snakes in the grass. 14:07.047 --> 14:10.268 Sparrow in the workshop, snakes in the grass, we're trying to figure out what that sounded like. 14:10.328 --> 14:11.569 Sonic Youth, I think you're right. 14:11.649 --> 14:14.830 I think it's got a sort of sound of Sonic Youth but without the performance. 14:14.850 --> 14:16.091 It's got the same shape as one. 14:16.111 --> 14:17.951 That's what I'm saying to you. 14:18.051 --> 14:19.852 It's Kim Gordon shaped. 14:20.372 --> 14:22.433 They pop up in Gossip Girl, you know. 14:22.873 --> 14:23.193 Who do? 14:23.513 --> 14:24.314 Uh, Sonic Youth. 14:24.634 --> 14:24.934 Really? 14:24.954 --> 14:26.015 What, physically? 14:26.115 --> 14:30.057 Yeah, they do a little cameo in there in an incredibly cheesy scene. 14:30.197 --> 14:31.317 What, as themselves? 14:31.437 --> 14:35.559 As themselves, playing for like, there's a kind of rock dad character in there. 14:35.659 --> 14:36.060 Oh yes. 14:36.280 --> 14:42.363 He lives in a loft apartment and his son reads Noam Chomsky, so they're groovy. 14:42.683 --> 14:43.463 Oh that's groovy. 14:43.543 --> 14:50.647 And he used to be in a band, I wish I could remember the name of the band, someone can email in the name of the dad's band in Gossip Girl. 14:51.167 --> 14:57.214 But they have a party or some kind of anniversary party or something like that, or engagement party, I'm not sure. 14:57.814 --> 14:59.216 And Sonic Youth turn up. 14:59.676 --> 15:02.580 And they're playing there in the loft with lots of fairy lights around them. 15:03.981 --> 15:06.364 And it's not supposed to be ironic or anything. 15:06.984 --> 15:11.266 No, it's supposed to be an indication of how groovy and well-connected they are, I think. 15:11.606 --> 15:12.787 Okay. 15:13.007 --> 15:17.970 And Kim Gordon does a little dedication at the beginning, and they all look about 150 years old. 15:17.990 --> 15:18.530 Ah, dear. 15:18.670 --> 15:21.852 And they're all sitting there on their stools. 15:22.472 --> 15:23.152 I still love them. 15:23.492 --> 15:24.093 Yeah, are they great? 15:24.273 --> 15:24.493 Sure. 15:24.713 --> 15:25.914 I'm not putting them down, obviously. 15:26.194 --> 15:26.494 I know. 15:26.634 --> 15:26.934 Thank you. 15:27.274 --> 15:30.696 Now it's time to stand the squadron down before the news, so let's have the jingle. 15:34.489 --> 15:55.088 Stand down, your work is done You've earned yourself a nice warm bath And maybe a nice little bun Thank you very much Squadron, you may stand down Thank you for all your responses, they were fantastic This is the Adam and Joe programme here with Garth Jennings standing in for Joe It's 10.30 and time for the news 15:56.963 --> 15:59.104 That's Daft Punk with Daft Punk. 16:00.144 --> 16:01.705 Hey listeners, how you doing? 16:01.945 --> 16:05.547 This is Six Music, I'm Adam Buxton, and this is... Garth Jennings. 16:05.787 --> 16:06.067 Yeah. 16:07.067 --> 16:08.048 That wasn't too bad, was it? 16:08.068 --> 16:08.748 It was great, man. 16:08.788 --> 16:11.409 I'll try and get a bit hotter on the back of your announcements. 16:11.489 --> 16:15.151 I'm, you know, so you can say, I'm Adam Buxton, I'll come in with, and I'm Garth Jennings. 16:15.171 --> 16:15.951 I wouldn't worry about it. 16:15.991 --> 16:20.213 Sometimes, you know, Joe Scornball's just doesn't bother. 16:20.653 --> 16:22.654 Okay, well... I'll say, hey, Adam Buxton here! 16:23.658 --> 16:26.520 Anyway, so this week on Text the Nation, and then he just carries on to the next thing. 16:26.720 --> 16:36.525 Speaking of Text the Nation, we're going to be doing retro Text the Nation, talking about last week's subject, which was new ideas for kind of buddy cooking shows that'll be coming up shortly. 16:36.705 --> 16:37.506 I wrote a few down. 16:37.646 --> 16:40.668 Yeah, we'll have that after a bit of my morning jacket. 16:40.708 --> 16:45.390 But first, I wanted to ask you, now you're someone who stays in hotels on a fairly regular basis, aren't you? 16:45.410 --> 16:48.592 Because Garth, for those of you who don't know, is a film director. 16:48.832 --> 16:49.873 I am a film director. 16:50.594 --> 16:53.237 Your last project was Son of Fran Bow. 16:53.417 --> 16:53.597 Yep. 16:54.097 --> 16:57.721 And you are currently working on your next project and you've been in Cannes. 16:57.741 --> 17:00.063 You were in Cannes last week trying to raise finances, right? 17:00.184 --> 17:01.245 Yeah, we were out there. 17:01.405 --> 17:05.669 It was the different side of Cannes because you've got the side you hear about which is all the films being shown. 17:06.330 --> 17:07.931 Lars Von Trier going a bit nuts. 17:07.951 --> 17:08.492 Sure. 17:08.992 --> 17:23.169 But then the other side of it is it is the sort of corporate side where everyone's trying to raise fun and finances for their films or sell their films and I was part of that market bit doing deals on napkins and blimey it was I've never really done it properly before and It was full-on. 17:23.490 --> 17:25.152 It's absolutely bonkers all on fun 17:25.952 --> 17:26.413 Not fun. 17:27.173 --> 17:33.879 Well no, getting your film financed is exciting and I think it's going alright but it's pretty intense. 17:33.899 --> 17:39.224 There's just hundreds of people just swapping tables and having meetings and it's like speed dating. 17:39.244 --> 17:43.267 It's like speed dating but trying to get your film financed in the heat. 17:43.507 --> 17:49.913 It's about a guy whose head is replaced by a football and the football next. 17:52.055 --> 17:52.776 It's a bit like that. 17:53.297 --> 17:53.978 It's really funny. 17:54.018 --> 17:54.639 Oh, we don't want funny. 17:54.700 --> 17:55.301 Oh, you want dark? 17:55.341 --> 17:55.481 Yeah. 17:55.541 --> 17:56.382 No, it's quite dark. 17:56.943 --> 17:58.446 It's that you can go that route if you want. 17:58.486 --> 17:59.588 But actually we were really lucky. 17:59.628 --> 18:02.713 We met very, very, very nice people who seemed to really enjoy what we were talking about. 18:02.753 --> 18:02.953 Yeah. 18:03.354 --> 18:04.436 Is Jennifer Aniston in it? 18:04.456 --> 18:04.496 No. 18:05.655 --> 18:06.936 Oh wow, that's where you're going wrong. 18:06.997 --> 18:08.378 Yeah, that's probably what slowed us down. 18:08.418 --> 18:09.919 But you were asking about hotels weren't you? 18:10.000 --> 18:14.464 Yes, I was asking about hotels and particularly receptionist patter. 18:14.784 --> 18:23.233 Like I've been doing a few shows, I do this show called Bug and we went to Manchester this week and we've been travelling around the country a little bit with the show. 18:23.753 --> 18:35.560 So I've been staying in more hotels than normal, and I've realized that modern receptionists have got a lot more patter than I think they used to, and they fire it off sometimes in a fairly non-committal way. 18:36.240 --> 18:38.762 And they, like, they're not even listening to their own patter. 18:38.942 --> 18:39.142 No. 18:39.822 --> 18:52.150 But they've just had all the little phrases, and while they're doing their logging in, you know, to fill in the awkward silences, I guess the theory is, they fire off these inane questions at you, and you're not quite sure, and they're the kind of questions that a friend would ask you, 18:52.890 --> 19:02.833 But they're being fired at you by someone who clearly doesn't care about the answers, so you're not sure if you should respond sincerely or just, you know, fob them off, but it feels a bit weird fobbing them off. 19:03.113 --> 19:05.413 So let's see how you respond to my receptionist patter. 19:05.633 --> 19:06.094 Oh, right, okay. 19:06.614 --> 19:10.335 Oh, okay, Mr. Jennings, let's just put your details in here. 19:10.395 --> 19:11.635 How was your weekend, Mr. Jennings? 19:11.655 --> 19:12.795 Oh, it's fine. 19:12.895 --> 19:15.856 Okay, are you going to have a chance to relax while you stay with us, Mr. Jennings? 19:16.236 --> 19:17.197 Yeah, I hope to relax. 19:17.217 --> 19:18.597 Are you having a pleasant trip today? 19:19.298 --> 19:19.518 Yes. 19:19.698 --> 19:21.060 Have you come far today, Mr. Jennings? 19:21.420 --> 19:22.301 Not that far, no. 19:22.481 --> 19:23.482 It's quite easy. 19:23.522 --> 19:26.626 Would you like me to book you a table for dinner tonight, Mr. Jennings? 19:27.367 --> 19:27.867 Maybe, yes. 19:27.967 --> 19:30.150 Are you having a relaxing trip so far, Mr. Jennings? 19:30.450 --> 19:31.291 Yes, very relaxing. 19:31.311 --> 19:32.272 You have far to go today. 19:33.854 --> 19:35.175 Not to go today, Mr. Jennings? 19:35.195 --> 19:35.955 No, not far, no. 19:35.975 --> 19:37.595 Do you have a relaxing weekend, Mr. Jennings? 19:38.516 --> 19:40.096 Stop, it's torture! 19:40.176 --> 19:41.637 Is there anything I can get you today? 19:41.657 --> 19:42.737 Would you like a paper? 19:42.757 --> 19:42.797 No. 19:42.978 --> 19:44.858 Would you like a paper tomorrow morning? 19:44.878 --> 19:45.178 No, I don't. 19:45.198 --> 19:46.479 Would you like a wake-up call, Mr. Jennings? 19:46.519 --> 19:47.679 No, I don't need a... Would you like a paper? 19:47.899 --> 19:48.420 I don't need a paper. 19:48.440 --> 19:49.260 Would you like a table for dinner? 19:49.600 --> 19:50.461 Actually, no, I'll go out. 19:50.521 --> 19:51.401 Are you having a relaxing day? 19:51.481 --> 19:51.962 Yes, I am. 19:51.982 --> 19:53.042 Do you have far to go today? 19:53.142 --> 19:54.023 I don't have far, no. 19:54.043 --> 19:55.844 Do you have a chance to wander around today? 19:55.864 --> 19:57.925 No, I'm gonna... Do you have a chance to wander around today? 19:58.085 --> 19:59.346 I think I might go out, yes. 19:59.366 --> 19:59.486 Okay. 19:59.726 --> 20:00.667 How was your weekend, Mr. Jones? 20:00.687 --> 20:03.508 Do you have a chance to relax today? 20:03.669 --> 20:04.429 Stop, please. 20:04.669 --> 20:05.770 Can I go to my room? 20:06.130 --> 20:06.891 Yes, okay. 20:07.451 --> 20:08.632 It's on the very top floor. 20:08.812 --> 20:09.852 It's the size of a shoebox. 20:10.833 --> 20:15.516 And it looks out over an air conditioning unit through a frosted window that you can't open. 20:16.356 --> 20:17.656 Enjoy your stay, Mr. Jennings. 20:17.716 --> 20:20.277 If there's anything else I can do for you, please let me know. 20:20.617 --> 20:21.157 Bye. 20:21.917 --> 20:23.277 I had the same thing once. 20:23.777 --> 20:34.179 There was this one hotel we stayed in that had a sort of a special line that everyone in the building had to say to you, whether they were cleaning your room or checking you in. 20:34.819 --> 20:37.180 I won't say the name of the hotel, so I'll just say the hotel. 20:37.360 --> 20:39.380 But they would say, Good morning, Mr. Jennings. 20:39.620 --> 20:41.600 How can I enhance your hotel experience? 20:41.640 --> 20:42.121 Shut up. 20:42.241 --> 20:43.341 I'm not joking you. 20:43.681 --> 20:44.181 Shut up. 20:44.301 --> 20:44.601 Shut it. 20:44.961 --> 20:45.482 Shut up! 20:45.502 --> 20:45.682 Stop! 20:45.962 --> 20:46.242 Shut it! 20:46.282 --> 20:53.408 Well, because you'd wake up in the morning very early, because you were jet lagged, and you'd go, you'd ring up for a cup of coffee, you're not too welly, you'd go, hello, can I have a cup of coffee? 20:53.448 --> 20:56.130 Yeah, sure, and how can I enhance your hotel experience? 20:56.590 --> 20:57.571 Just bring me the coffee! 20:57.651 --> 20:58.012 What? 20:58.272 --> 21:02.915 Yeah, seriously, and then the cleaner came in and said, good morning, how can I enhance your hotel experience? 21:02.955 --> 21:05.477 You can clean my tiny shoebox, you lunatic. 21:05.998 --> 21:07.379 Nonsense, nonsense, nonsense! 21:09.841 --> 21:12.263 Here's my morning jacket, this is holding on to black metal. 21:13.353 --> 21:14.294 Well, that's very good, isn't it? 21:14.354 --> 21:21.719 My morning jacket with holding on to black metal available as a download now and physically on the 13th of June. 21:22.119 --> 21:26.422 That's the first single from their new album circuit, which is out on the 6th of June. 21:26.502 --> 21:27.343 My morning jacket. 21:27.823 --> 21:28.203 Okay. 21:28.283 --> 21:30.845 I think we should get into retro text the nation. 21:30.885 --> 21:32.106 Now let's have the jingle James. 21:32.759 --> 21:47.336 I like to listen to Adam and John But I listen to the podcast, not the live show I used to feel acute frustration Because I couldn't join in with Text the Nation 21:47.976 --> 22:04.763 But now my troubles have disappeared Because red throat explanation's here And now my letter might be read out Instead of thrown in the bin and forgotten about Yeah 22:05.780 --> 22:08.322 Some people's favorite jingle from the show there. 22:08.342 --> 22:10.965 A lot of people like that jingle that Joe did. 22:11.525 --> 22:13.307 The one jingle that Joe ever made. 22:13.327 --> 22:16.870 I think he made like maybe one other for a Glastonbury show that we did. 22:16.890 --> 22:21.093 Apart from that, that's the only one that he's ever done and everyone thinks it's really great. 22:21.253 --> 22:21.594 Me too. 22:21.634 --> 22:22.474 It's the best one. 22:22.494 --> 22:23.535 It's the best jingle, isn't it? 22:23.856 --> 22:30.982 The other day, and I think my wife understands how I feel about, you know, Joe and my ongoing competitive world with him. 22:33.444 --> 22:35.406 Let's work it out here on the radio. 22:35.426 --> 22:42.492 We were on a car journey and gratifyingly she suggested that we listen to one of our podcasts because she doesn't get a chance to listen to the show live, right? 22:42.572 --> 22:43.313 She's mum force. 22:43.453 --> 22:44.955 Were you quite pleased about that? 22:45.035 --> 22:46.296 Yeah, yeah, I was happy about it. 22:46.376 --> 22:48.798 I never miss an opportunity to force the podcast on people. 22:49.859 --> 22:51.320 So she said, let's listen to the show. 22:51.380 --> 22:51.800 Yeah. 22:51.960 --> 22:52.281 Great. 22:52.341 --> 22:52.581 Yeah. 22:52.601 --> 22:53.021 Come on. 22:53.281 --> 22:54.842 Come on kids pay attention. 22:55.562 --> 23:02.086 Uh, so we stick the podcast on when retro taxonation comes on, she starts singing along with scorned balls is flipping jingle. 23:02.547 --> 23:08.170 She's not singing along with traveling tales or, or, you know, prop propreation or made up jokes. 23:08.430 --> 23:12.972 You wanna have a word, Ad? 23:13.293 --> 23:17.995 And then later on, she starts singing like just off the top of her head, like it's a great song. 23:18.015 --> 23:20.877 Oh, I've got that great song stuck in my... Shut up! 23:20.917 --> 23:22.558 What are you doing, woman? 23:22.598 --> 23:23.618 Drive the car! 23:32.443 --> 23:32.983 I didn't say that. 23:33.563 --> 23:35.705 That is actually how he speaks to his wife. 23:35.765 --> 23:39.687 But other people, I think, have been listening to this jingle as well, right? 23:39.727 --> 23:44.389 There was a clip sent in, and I'm so sorry, but I think I've lost the name of the lady who sent in this clip. 23:45.110 --> 23:48.011 I might try and find it later on in the show, but you know who you are, lady, thanks. 23:48.111 --> 23:49.032 It was really nice. 23:49.492 --> 23:53.494 She sent in this clip of Norman Smith, I think, probably on the Today programme on Radio 4. 23:54.414 --> 23:55.195 Here he is in action. 23:55.680 --> 24:01.984 You have to say the whole NHS reform package appears to be on the cusp of getting chucked in the bin and forgotten about. 24:02.384 --> 24:05.445 Chucked in the bin and forgotten about. 24:05.466 --> 24:06.266 That's true. 24:06.326 --> 24:16.392 I mean I don't know if we owned that phrase, I don't know if Joe coined that phrase, but there's a lot... You know what, he'd probably just been listening to the podcast and it had soaked into his subconscious. 24:16.412 --> 24:18.533 Sure, and he went for bin and not trash. 24:18.553 --> 24:21.935 But listen, do you realise the power of your podcast if that's what you can do with it? 24:22.635 --> 24:24.817 You could say anything, you could change the world. 24:24.837 --> 24:28.441 Yeah, we can feed messages direct into the minds of our leaders. 24:28.601 --> 24:29.322 Via jingles. 24:29.402 --> 24:30.683 Nonsense, nonsense, nonsense! 24:32.452 --> 24:32.692 OK. 24:32.852 --> 24:36.294 Retro Texanation is cooking shows, new cooking shows. 24:36.434 --> 24:44.637 Last week, if you remember, we were talking about the shows like Two Greedy Italians, Two Fat Ladies, Hairy Bikers. 24:45.137 --> 24:49.299 I came up with Skinbird and Yum Yums, Tubby and the Feeder. 24:49.799 --> 24:50.900 Have you got any ideas? 24:50.920 --> 24:51.520 I got a couple. 24:51.640 --> 24:53.221 I got a Cannibal Run. 24:53.737 --> 25:17.772 cannibal run yeah it's like you know I'm a celebrity get me out of here yeah but you drop the people into the jungle and there are cannibals in the jungle and they've got to run from the cannibals and and then the slow ones get eaten I like and that you did they're cooked in a different way each week well that's nice I know because you wouldn't want to do it the same thing with a big pot every week because I've all seen that exactly 25:17.952 --> 25:28.102 But yeah, they come up with clever ways and then maybe the loser of a test has to then eat the other contestant Yeah, you know that's not too bad is it they already eat pretty nasty things on that show So they might as well eat each other. 25:28.523 --> 25:30.545 What if you just ate chefs this week? 25:30.585 --> 25:33.248 We're serving up Heston Blumenthal delicious giant head. 25:33.648 --> 25:38.813 He's been frozen in carbonite Yeah, that add some asparagus to Ainsley there. 25:38.934 --> 25:39.054 Yeah 25:40.975 --> 25:42.656 It would be a very short show, wouldn't it? 25:43.076 --> 25:44.336 At the end of it. 25:44.397 --> 25:45.077 One season only. 25:45.157 --> 25:49.759 What about if you just drop them in the jungle, so it's like I'm a celebrity, but they just have to eat each other. 25:49.939 --> 25:51.180 You don't give them any food at all. 25:51.724 --> 25:52.845 Yeah, that's true. 25:54.186 --> 25:56.649 That could work, but I like the running man aspect to it. 25:57.009 --> 25:58.891 I like the thrill of the chase through the jungle. 25:59.472 --> 26:00.713 Well, make Ant and Dec eat them. 26:01.193 --> 26:07.159 Yes, well, they could judge it, you know, in the same way those two guys on MasterChef come in and go, mmm, that's a bit tart. 26:07.780 --> 26:12.705 They go, ooh, you know, if you were going to cook Ainsley Harrier that way, you should have really added more sauce. 26:12.805 --> 26:14.406 Ademant's shins are a bit chewy. 26:14.526 --> 26:15.868 Yeah, you should have cooked them longer. 26:17.708 --> 26:21.390 I do like the idea of them eating each other though, because it could be like a bush tucker trial. 26:21.450 --> 26:22.090 Well exactly. 26:22.450 --> 26:28.992 Stop torturing the insects and the indigenous wildlife of the Australian jungle and make them eat each other. 26:29.212 --> 26:29.472 Yeah. 26:29.992 --> 26:31.773 I think that's a fun idea Garth, I'm commissioning that. 26:32.233 --> 26:35.035 Here is an idea from Gwilym Jones. 26:35.195 --> 26:35.895 He's a mailman. 26:37.096 --> 26:40.198 He says, how about Sushi Sous Chef? 26:40.698 --> 26:46.542 Lawley and Barker have a cook-off to decide who will be the top sous chef in a new sushi restaurant. 26:47.322 --> 26:48.503 Spin-off concept number one. 26:49.163 --> 26:50.984 Sue Sushi the... I can't do it. 26:51.324 --> 26:52.785 Sue Sue the Sushi Sue Chef. 26:53.305 --> 26:58.588 This follows the legal battle between Lawley and a disgruntled customer who gets food poisoning at said restaurant. 26:58.888 --> 27:00.109 Spin-off concept number two. 27:00.429 --> 27:06.092 Same concept but with Barker's rival restaurant and it'll be called Sue Sue the Sushi Sue... 27:07.413 --> 27:09.395 Sue Sue the Sushi Sue Chef Sue 2. 27:11.776 --> 27:12.397 It's a hit. 27:12.497 --> 27:13.678 Thank you very much, Gwilym Jones. 27:13.898 --> 27:15.099 I'm commissioning that immediately. 27:15.259 --> 27:24.125 I found one, but I forgot the name of the person, which was called, and the show was called Bigger Fish to Fry, and basically each week Stephen Fry cooks a progressively bigger fish. 27:24.626 --> 27:25.727 I think that's a great idea. 27:25.807 --> 27:26.727 That's an excellent idea. 27:26.747 --> 27:34.473 You know, he'd start by reeling in a, you know, an anchovy, and then by the end of it, he's pulling in a humpback whale and working out how to divvy it up. 27:34.813 --> 27:35.654 Very good idea. 27:35.814 --> 27:37.294 Yeah, I'm commissioning that too, thank you. 27:38.355 --> 27:43.858 To the anonymous person responsible for that one, here's one from Zach Arendel, speaking of Heston Blumenthal. 27:44.298 --> 27:50.461 He says, uh, dear Adzi Baby and Joss Stig, uh, I didn't realise that he would be filling in this week, Garth, sorry about that. 27:50.481 --> 27:51.442 Yeah, it's embarrassing. 27:51.942 --> 27:55.184 He says, my show is called Heston's Trick of the Pie. 27:55.564 --> 27:56.665 Trick of the pie. 27:56.785 --> 27:57.666 Trick of the eye. 27:57.806 --> 27:58.106 Yeah. 27:59.147 --> 28:05.992 Heston Blumenthal takes well-worn recipes and injects new life into them by changing one word of the recipe with a superficially similar word. 28:06.193 --> 28:07.474 A homonym, ideally. 28:07.894 --> 28:08.895 It's sort of like a pun thing. 28:09.055 --> 28:14.059 For example, he says, mints cobbler becomes mints cobbler. 28:14.319 --> 28:19.883 So instead of mints, mints, m-i-n-t-s, a kilo of fox's glacier mints covered in scones. 28:21.004 --> 28:21.945 Pea and ham soup, 28:22.933 --> 28:23.394 urine and ham. 28:37.793 --> 28:40.534 Perhaps a daily show like that runs for years, like this morning, he says, hopefully. 28:41.494 --> 28:44.395 After the dish is made, the celebs come by and try it. 28:44.615 --> 28:46.615 Lots of amazed voices and applauding at the food. 28:46.915 --> 28:54.777 Crucially, the celebs are told what's on the menu by voice alone, so the big surprise isn't ruined when they read Mince Cobbler, for example, of the show. 28:54.817 --> 28:55.337 Thanks, guys. 28:55.397 --> 28:56.018 Zach Arendel. 28:56.038 --> 28:56.678 Thank you very much. 28:57.278 --> 29:00.719 Zach, I'm commissioning that because I like the idea of steak tartare. 29:02.539 --> 29:07.882 Lovely bit of... Here's central offices, this is the office from Brazil. 29:07.942 --> 29:09.082 Central services. 29:34.246 --> 29:34.887 Ah, lovely. 29:35.128 --> 29:35.749 Now of course that was... 29:38.411 --> 29:40.693 Now, of course, that was Garth's free play there. 29:40.713 --> 29:43.475 You just walked right in there and shot it off. 29:43.515 --> 29:44.596 I'm so excited with the biff. 29:45.357 --> 29:46.838 I just launched straight into it. 29:46.918 --> 29:51.601 All I do, I've got a computer screen here, listeners, that tells me what the next song is coming up. 29:52.202 --> 29:56.725 And so sometimes I just see a name of a band or whatever, and I think, well, I've never heard them. 29:57.125 --> 29:58.526 But it's very exciting. 29:58.546 --> 30:00.048 You know, lots of new bands here on Six Musics. 30:00.068 --> 30:02.189 So I thought, oh, who's this new band, Central Services? 30:02.609 --> 30:03.910 Oh, the track's called The Office from Brazil. 30:03.950 --> 30:05.632 Just fire into that, and it'll be great. 30:06.132 --> 30:07.453 But it was Garth's replay there. 30:07.913 --> 30:09.413 You totally swept it away. 30:09.453 --> 30:09.933 Sorry mate. 30:09.953 --> 30:10.914 But it was nice to hear it. 30:11.154 --> 30:12.214 Thank you for letting me play it. 30:12.254 --> 30:13.795 That's a wonderful film though, isn't it? 30:13.895 --> 30:16.356 I mean that... Do you know, I haven't actually watched it for years and years. 30:16.376 --> 30:16.836 It's good, man. 30:16.856 --> 30:18.476 It stands up really well. 30:18.516 --> 30:18.757 Yeah. 30:18.837 --> 30:18.957 Yeah. 30:19.017 --> 30:19.317 Okay. 30:19.337 --> 30:20.857 Cause I have such fond memories of it. 30:21.117 --> 30:22.998 And that track in particular is amazing. 30:23.238 --> 30:23.538 Yeah. 30:23.778 --> 30:24.739 I mean, it's great, isn't it? 30:24.779 --> 30:28.340 That whole business when De Niro turns up there, the service engineer. 30:28.380 --> 30:28.600 Yeah. 30:29.500 --> 30:30.801 Ah, it's, it's so wonderful. 30:30.961 --> 30:33.762 And even the incredibly bleak ending sort of makes sense. 30:34.082 --> 30:40.448 Yeah, but I just remember seeing things like, um, as you know, when he's got, he's pulling that woman's face and it's all stretching, things like that. 30:40.468 --> 30:43.911 I remember thinking, God, I can't believe you can do this in a film up to that point. 30:43.951 --> 30:45.092 I hadn't seen anything like it. 30:45.573 --> 30:45.793 Yeah. 30:45.853 --> 30:46.874 Completely amazing. 30:46.894 --> 30:48.155 Uh, okay. 30:48.255 --> 30:49.657 Now let's have a little trail here. 30:49.717 --> 30:50.237 What have we got? 30:50.337 --> 30:51.078 Oh, this is exciting. 30:51.098 --> 30:51.719 Come on, James. 30:53.392 --> 30:54.734 Man, that's a smash isn't it? 30:55.215 --> 30:56.036 I love that song. 30:56.316 --> 30:57.317 It's really amazing. 30:57.337 --> 31:08.250 I remember when it came out I felt I mean like I in no way was the kind of person that was being described in that song But I felt like it was he was communicating directly with me and my generation. 31:08.270 --> 31:08.290 I 31:08.470 --> 31:12.994 I remember at the Brits, he went flying up on some wires at the end, and didn't come down. 31:13.335 --> 31:17.158 Oh, yeah, that was good. 31:17.279 --> 31:20.121 Come down and he floated up into this up into the scenery. 31:20.302 --> 31:20.642 Wow. 31:20.762 --> 31:23.665 That wasn't the same Brits that he got in Jackson trouble, was it? 31:23.865 --> 31:24.285 I don't know. 31:24.726 --> 31:25.246 I can't remember. 31:25.306 --> 31:26.848 I've been it was all around that time, wasn't it? 31:27.308 --> 31:28.449 Hey, listeners, how you doing? 31:28.489 --> 31:29.489 Welcome to the show. 31:29.549 --> 31:32.571 This is Adam Buxton here, joined by... I'm Garth Jennings. 31:32.591 --> 31:35.293 Hello, I'm standing in for Joe while he's away in Los Angeles. 31:35.473 --> 31:36.413 Los Angeles! 31:36.954 --> 31:42.017 And what an exciting weekend it is, folks, because of course tomorrow evening on BBC One at 11.55pm, 31:44.358 --> 32:07.292 you will be able to hear Pierce Bronholm in action on the film Taffyn where Bronholm plays a debt collector or something like that or he gets into some trouble with a local community who want to build an oil refinery and Bronholm is trying to stop them from doing so and he's conflicted he's got issues he's not entirely good he's he's partly very 32:08.192 --> 32:26.378 angry and of course in one wonderful scene he gets in a little argument with his girlfriend there mate and uh she says as long as i'm he says it's none of your business anyway she says as long as i'm living here it is to which bronholm replies then maybe you shouldn't be living here 32:28.524 --> 32:33.586 Someone sent in a fantastically extended version of that little exhortation. 32:33.826 --> 32:35.067 Matt Power in Greenwich. 32:35.267 --> 32:36.347 Thank you very much for this. 32:36.407 --> 32:42.750 And I'm suggesting, listeners, that maybe you somehow make a recording of this and then play it out the window. 32:42.770 --> 32:45.511 Well, I think when you're watching the show tomorrow night. 32:46.171 --> 33:04.448 If any of you've seen the net the film network, you'll understand that thing of People, you know rising up out of their seats leaning out of the window and saying I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore Well, I think we should do a taff inversion So when that line comes on the film tomorrow night just lean out of your window and shout the line, you know Well this line, where is it? 33:04.748 --> 33:07.231 Then maybe you shouldn't be laughing here 33:16.711 --> 33:17.251 Just do it. 33:17.512 --> 33:19.332 Thanks to Matt Power and Greenwich for that. 33:19.872 --> 33:20.232 Very good. 33:20.272 --> 33:25.754 Here's another message as well from someone else talking about another bit on the show. 33:26.934 --> 33:29.135 And have I written the guy's name down here? 33:29.635 --> 33:30.475 I'm not sure if I have. 33:30.555 --> 33:31.076 Oh, no, here we go. 33:31.156 --> 33:34.437 Rear Admiral Scott, Black Squadron App Division. 33:34.897 --> 33:36.977 And he says, Hi, Adam and Joe. 33:37.077 --> 33:42.039 I've created no, he says, Dear Mr. Buxton and Master Jennings, I've created a nonsense button app. 33:42.259 --> 33:43.439 for Android phones. 33:43.479 --> 33:45.980 It is now live on the Android marketplace. 33:46.420 --> 33:53.922 If you can plug it in somehow, Nonsense Mania, or he calls it Nonsenia, I don't think that's a good name for it. 33:54.402 --> 33:55.302 Nonsenia is no good. 33:55.583 --> 33:56.983 I think what you mean is Nonsenia. 33:57.743 --> 33:59.363 He says that this could sweep the nation. 33:59.704 --> 34:01.984 I've already had over one downloads. 34:03.505 --> 34:04.905 And the news is spreading fast. 34:05.305 --> 34:07.747 So when you mean over one download, do you mean two? 34:08.147 --> 34:14.351 I think what he means is he's had one download, in which case over one download would be exaggerating the situation. 34:14.591 --> 34:20.115 He says it's free, check out the YouTube video for a taster and the awesome power of the buck button. 34:20.415 --> 34:22.556 I don't know if that's what he's actually calling the app there. 34:22.776 --> 34:24.658 Thanks very much, Rear Admiral Scott. 34:24.998 --> 34:27.900 He says, PS, I'm also working on a Steven app now too. 34:29.101 --> 34:29.941 But that's old. 34:29.982 --> 34:34.285 We should promote that guy in the Black Squadron and give him some sort of commander position. 34:34.305 --> 34:35.046 Do you know what I mean? 34:35.086 --> 34:37.148 He shouldn't just be down there in the ranks with the others. 34:37.208 --> 34:38.989 He's shown excellence. 34:39.409 --> 34:44.714 Well, yeah, I mean, he's gone out and he's created a nonsense button for the phone, which everybody needs. 34:44.894 --> 34:46.535 Nonsense, nonsense, nonsense! 34:47.276 --> 34:50.459 We've got Song Horse coming out very soon, ladies and gentlemen. 34:50.899 --> 34:56.264 Maybe not immediately after this track from the Arcade Fire, but within the next 10 minutes or so, so stay tuned for that. 34:56.305 --> 34:57.826 But this is The Suburbs. 34:57.846 --> 34:58.867 This is a great track, isn't it? 34:58.907 --> 35:00.428 This is as good as it gets. 35:00.569 --> 35:01.549 Here we go, Arcade Fire. 35:03.191 --> 35:04.052 That's a smash, isn't it? 35:04.512 --> 35:15.460 Arcade fire with the suburbs and we were playing pulp before that sorted for ease and wiz of course and we forgot to say that You know with pulp Reforming I don't know if they ever split up. 35:15.480 --> 35:18.602 But anyway, they are touring with the original lineup, isn't it? 35:18.682 --> 35:25.187 I think and Jarvis whose show of course is on six music at what time is it at four o'clock and 35:26.867 --> 35:27.428 Yeah, tomorrow. 35:28.288 --> 35:35.890 And Jarvis is going to be joining Steve LaMac for an exclusive interview this coming Friday, talking about the upcoming tour, so listen out for that. 35:35.910 --> 35:36.751 That'll be very good. 35:37.191 --> 35:38.711 Now I've got a free play for you, Garth. 35:38.731 --> 35:45.454 This popped up on my MP3 player this week, and I forgot how much I loved it when it came out. 35:46.134 --> 35:48.875 But it is more or less nonsense. 35:49.035 --> 35:49.635 Nonsense. 35:49.755 --> 35:51.055 Nonsense! 35:51.095 --> 35:51.676 What is it? 35:51.856 --> 35:52.476 It's the police. 35:52.996 --> 35:53.277 OK. 35:54.458 --> 35:55.440 Were you a fan of the police? 35:55.520 --> 35:56.301 Yeah, very much so. 35:56.341 --> 35:59.565 My mum was always into the police, so I got into them via my mum. 36:00.006 --> 36:01.007 You know who loves the police? 36:01.047 --> 36:02.590 It's Ed O'Brien from Radiohead. 36:02.930 --> 36:03.170 Right. 36:03.371 --> 36:05.013 He is obsessed with the police. 36:05.173 --> 36:08.077 He will not have a bad word said against them. 36:08.718 --> 36:09.760 What would you say against them? 36:11.496 --> 36:14.639 Well, that they are occasionally a tiny bit rubs. 36:15.120 --> 36:15.500 Okay. 36:15.960 --> 36:19.984 And the track I'm going to play... He's probably listening now fuming. 36:20.024 --> 36:22.847 He's probably punching his fist like... They're good. 36:22.867 --> 36:29.314 I mean, surely even Ed would have to admit that sometimes they stray too far into the smelly world of stink. 36:30.775 --> 36:45.680 um synchronicity 2 you remember that track uh from 1983 from the album synchronicity i don't know how it goes and the video was um police uh that's like sting it was a bit like the duran duran oh is he loads of candles and he was 36:46.420 --> 36:49.704 I feel like he was attached to another windmill as well or something. 36:50.044 --> 36:53.848 He was scaling a big kind of apocalyptic thing. 36:53.888 --> 36:57.552 He had wind blowing in his hair and there was explosions going off. 36:57.812 --> 37:00.655 It was very much like the Wild Boys video for Joanne. 37:00.675 --> 37:03.558 Well, they had a huge set left after that, so they might as well reuse it. 37:03.699 --> 37:04.579 Yes, I guess so. 37:05.240 --> 37:22.395 but the the song is a kind of a story song it's in three acts and it's all about it's juxtaposing a story about a man living a kind of boring suburban family life going into work with a creature crawling from uh Loch Ness 37:23.596 --> 37:24.597 Oh, somewhere. 37:24.617 --> 37:26.218 Yeah, you know, I know how that one goes. 37:26.278 --> 37:26.659 Yeah. 37:27.540 --> 37:31.904 Um, so you've got lyrics like another suburban family morning. 37:34.407 --> 37:36.148 Grandmother screaming at the wall. 37:36.208 --> 37:39.331 Let's not forget that stung was actually an English teacher at one point as well. 37:39.592 --> 37:42.334 We have to shout above the dinner bar Rice Krispies. 37:43.154 --> 37:43.775 He doesn't say that. 37:43.835 --> 37:43.995 Yes. 37:44.435 --> 37:46.457 We can't hear anything at all. 37:46.838 --> 37:50.402 Mother chance, a litany of boredom and frustration. 37:50.842 --> 37:51.883 Excuse me, Mr. Stunk. 37:52.984 --> 38:00.032 In your poem here, Synchronicity 2, what does it mean when you talk about... Where's the other great line? 38:00.552 --> 38:28.797 oh yes yes another working day has ended only the rush hour hell to face packed like lemmings into shiny metal boxes contestants in a suicidal race I remember how he sings that shiny metal boxes shiny metal boxes I mean I'm being you know I haven't written any really good songs recently as you will find out after this next link so it's a bit rich coming from dr. buckles and still I love the song it's synchronicity too here's the police 38:30.883 --> 38:35.925 Every single meeting with his so-called superiors is a humiliating kick in the crotch! 38:38.386 --> 38:48.109 Mr. Stong, what did you mean by... Anyway, that was the police of course with Synchronicity 2, and this is the Adam and Joe program here with Adam Buxton and Garth Jennings for the end of the show. 38:48.129 --> 38:49.489 Hello, yeah, I'm the stand-in guy. 38:49.509 --> 38:51.730 Hey, stand-in guy! 38:52.250 --> 38:53.671 It's nice to be the stand-in guy. 38:53.691 --> 38:56.853 I couldn't deal with the pressure on a weekly basis. 38:57.233 --> 38:59.014 And how you guys cope with it. 38:59.035 --> 39:00.295 I'm sure you couldn't deal with the shouting. 39:01.136 --> 39:02.217 The shouting is a bit much. 39:02.257 --> 39:03.798 I'm going to have to move to a new studio. 39:03.818 --> 39:06.800 The shouting, the nonsense and the constant references to the Netherlands. 39:07.860 --> 39:10.141 Okay, I think it's song wars time folks. 39:10.401 --> 39:10.941 Oh boy. 39:11.041 --> 39:16.663 I mean if you're not a fan of shouting and stupidity then probably best to do a bit of gardening for five minutes. 39:18.484 --> 39:21.845 Because there's gonna be, this is gonna be difficult. 39:22.045 --> 39:23.005 Is it dirty war? 39:23.065 --> 39:23.746 Let's have the jingle. 39:39.517 --> 39:41.038 to the listener test. 39:41.098 --> 39:41.899 So check it out. 39:42.619 --> 39:45.941 That's a jingle that doesn't get heard very often anymore at the big British castle. 39:46.402 --> 39:49.964 Because it's hard to do these songs, you know, we've got busy lives, we've all got busy lives, right? 39:50.164 --> 39:50.865 It is tricky. 39:51.665 --> 39:53.046 You're busy, I'm busy, we're all busy. 39:53.506 --> 40:00.151 And to create a song, if that's not really your job, you know, if you are not a songwriter, a singer-songwriter. 40:00.171 --> 40:00.791 Like Shtong. 40:01.132 --> 40:06.775 Like Shtong, who can just knock off a song on his mandolin between yoga sessions. 40:07.115 --> 40:07.376 Yeah. 40:07.636 --> 40:08.857 Then it's very hard. 40:09.757 --> 40:10.057 you know. 40:10.678 --> 40:13.299 So our theme this week was toys and games. 40:13.379 --> 40:14.520 How did you feel about that theme? 40:14.540 --> 40:17.122 Well when you first said it, I thought, oh that's a funny subject. 40:17.162 --> 40:19.803 There'll be, there'll bound to be loads of ideas there. 40:19.823 --> 40:23.565 I was thinking it'd be good because we're both parents, we have, you know, hundreds of children. 40:24.146 --> 40:26.527 Yeah, between us there's a good few hundred there. 40:26.547 --> 40:28.748 But no, I really struggled. 40:29.389 --> 40:32.951 But then found something towards the end of this week. 40:33.251 --> 40:36.353 So hopefully it'll be a fair, fair battle. 40:36.653 --> 40:49.065 what what theme did you go for in the end what was the subject of your song oh i took a game i took twister uh-huh you know i don't know why it just sort of felt like the one that i could relate to the most find the most material in 40:50.182 --> 40:53.666 All right, well, you can tell us a little bit more about the style and whatever just before we hear it. 40:53.686 --> 40:55.027 We're going to flip a coin in a second. 40:55.428 --> 41:08.542 I should say now that you can hear both these songs again that we're about to play on our blog, which is bbc.co.uk slash blogs slash Adam and Joe, or you can listen to them in the podcast, which of course will be available from around 6pm today. 41:09.263 --> 41:12.326 Then you can vote for your favorite song if you want to get involved. 41:12.746 --> 41:35.554 via the blog or our usual email address which is adamandjoe.sixmusic.bbc.co.uk emails only for this and the best thing to do to make it simple you don't have to include any message in the email all you have to do is in the header just call it just say you're either Song Wars I vote for Adam or Song Wars I vote for Garth that would be the easiest thing wouldn't it 41:37.615 --> 41:38.896 vote Adam or vote Garth. 41:39.036 --> 41:39.456 There you go. 41:39.556 --> 41:41.877 That's the, that's the simplest way. 41:42.137 --> 41:48.520 Doing some subliminal on their asses. 41:49.160 --> 41:53.422 Um, you've got until 11 PM on Friday, the 22nd of May to cast your vote. 41:53.462 --> 41:58.625 Full terms and conditions can be found on our website and the winning song will be announced on the show next week Saturday 28th of May. 41:59.685 --> 42:00.726 I was a computer doing that. 42:02.948 --> 42:05.310 So yeah, just vote Adam or vote Garth right now. 42:05.330 --> 42:07.032 Let's flip a coin baby. 42:07.072 --> 42:07.953 Who goes first? 42:07.973 --> 42:08.413 All right. 42:08.793 --> 42:09.254 Nice cat. 42:09.274 --> 42:09.834 What are you going for? 42:09.954 --> 42:11.316 I'm going for heads, heads. 42:12.216 --> 42:13.217 It's tails, mate. 42:13.237 --> 42:13.638 You're up. 42:14.018 --> 42:14.739 I'm up first. 42:15.059 --> 42:15.739 Oh, Lordy. 42:16.400 --> 42:17.601 Now, I'm not exaggerating. 42:17.822 --> 42:19.684 This has been the toughest one. 42:19.704 --> 42:23.408 Like, I started with a nice little piece of reggae music that I put together. 42:23.428 --> 42:27.813 It was a nice track, but then I started crooning over it and it sounded... That sounds like Sting again. 42:28.073 --> 42:29.795 A bit of Sting, yeah, with some light reggae. 42:29.895 --> 42:30.175 Yeah. 42:30.736 --> 42:33.960 But it sounded a little bit too lame, so I thought, I've got to toughen this up a bit. 42:34.600 --> 42:37.543 Basically, the song is about my children playing video games. 42:37.823 --> 42:51.336 And do you remember years ago, I spoke about the fact that Natty, as he was then three years old, saying, oh, you're going down, pom pom, when he's playing video games with my son, Frank, and they would taunt each other. 42:51.996 --> 43:11.048 you want to come to a party pom-pom you better come because it's gonna be a poo-poo party he was at that phase where everything's like poo-poo and poo-poo head and all that stuff so I kind of constructed this song around around that but I did it in a in a sort of Jamaican dancehall style Wow so this may be offensive to a lot of people 43:13.832 --> 43:19.698 But the production got away from me and it's a bit like pirate radio style as well. 43:19.738 --> 43:22.801 It's all distorted and you might not be able to hear what I'm actually saying. 43:22.821 --> 43:23.462 So that's the other thing. 43:23.502 --> 43:31.489 If you want to go to the blog, Adam and Joe, no bbc.co.uk slash blogs slash Adam and Joe, the lyrics for both our songs are there. 43:31.549 --> 43:34.512 So if you want to see what we're actually saying in the songs, then go and check them out. 43:34.572 --> 43:37.015 But this is called Party Pompom. 43:37.335 --> 43:37.635 Here we go. 43:41.713 --> 44:03.666 My friend Frederick said come round I said yes We can play a bit of Wii We can play DS We can play Super Mario Galaxy 2 But I'll tell you right now that I'm better than you I know this is your house where you live with mom and dad I know you want to win And that is very sad cause I got the tricks bruv I got the skill I've been training pretty hard and I'm ready to kill I'm a cold blooded plumber I'm a nunchuck 44:03.766 --> 44:13.934 King, when you begin to lose, I begin to sing And here is the thing, the thing that I sing And I feel the thing from the thing that I sing Would you like to come to a party, pom-pom? 44:13.974 --> 44:15.415 Would you like to be my guest? 44:16.256 --> 44:25.023 It's gonna be a poo-poo party, pom-pom A poo-poo party is the best You don't need to bring no presents There ain't gonna be no king 44:25.902 --> 44:29.863 Just bring the weed and you better guarantee that you don't be no mistake. 44:30.643 --> 44:33.104 Are you gonna come to my party, pom-pom? 44:33.224 --> 44:34.624 Are you gonna be my guest? 44:34.824 --> 44:37.825 It's gonna be a poo-poo party, pom-pom. 44:37.865 --> 44:39.505 A poo-poo party is the best. 44:40.405 --> 44:42.666 Are you enjoying all the humiliation? 44:42.686 --> 44:45.086 Would you like some more on your daddy's PlayStation? 44:45.147 --> 44:47.127 Hold up a second, cause your mommy's coming in. 45:03.754 --> 45:32.030 We're in the middle of a party, pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom 45:38.032 --> 45:42.134 I am about to come to the party, pom pom Did you get a special invitation? 45:42.634 --> 45:46.777 It's gonna be a boo boo party, pom pom We're celebrating your annihilation 45:51.368 --> 45:52.689 So I apologize to anyone. 45:53.029 --> 45:54.611 I don't think you should apologize for that. 45:54.671 --> 45:55.571 That was marvelous. 45:55.972 --> 45:56.192 Yeah. 45:56.452 --> 45:57.273 That was a master. 45:57.453 --> 46:00.455 I am going to go out there and say that was one of the best you've ever done. 46:01.316 --> 46:01.897 Thank you very much. 46:01.917 --> 46:06.160 I mean, you know, cause we talked about doing pirate radio jingles. 46:06.280 --> 46:06.480 Yeah. 46:06.540 --> 46:07.721 I've made some this week. 46:07.741 --> 46:08.822 We'll play those a bit later on. 46:08.862 --> 46:19.431 But Garth, ages ago when he came on the show, pointed out that thing that happens when you're listening to the radio and suddenly the pirate stations drift into your frequency and you suddenly get interrupted. 46:19.531 --> 46:22.053 You're gonna talk like this over massive beats. 46:22.133 --> 46:26.596 I love that when you're listening to something very mild and calm and then some really inappropriate thing comes in. 46:26.636 --> 46:32.680 Yeah, we're shouting out to me big brand, you know, just right in the middle of, you know, Shania Twain or something. 46:32.720 --> 46:35.842 So I think that was partly responsible for my approach to that song. 46:35.922 --> 46:37.403 Anyway, that was a master stroke. 46:37.423 --> 46:38.304 Time for yours now, Garth. 46:38.344 --> 46:38.964 What's yours called? 46:39.325 --> 46:40.465 Mine's just called Twister. 46:41.986 --> 46:43.608 That's pretty much all I can say about it. 46:44.228 --> 46:45.649 I just, I did my best. 46:45.789 --> 46:46.169 Here we go. 46:46.209 --> 46:46.850 This is Twister. 46:59.227 --> 47:19.504 Yeah, we playin' Twista Take your shoes off unless you wanna blister We break a sweat but we never break our wrist-a You can bring your friend but please don't bring your sister Yeah, we playin' Twista Even MPs play it in Westminster If you's a young'un or if you is a spin-star 47:24.651 --> 47:52.382 Wheelman Right foot blue and left hand green I'm like a human crab baby I'm a twister machine Left hand yellow and right foot red Now my booty is getting a bit close to your head Right foot green and left hand blue My legs are in a knot I can never undo Left hand red and right foot yellow Now you see I am a bendy fellow When it comes to playing twister I'm a natural 47:53.002 --> 48:15.631 And I think it really helps that I'm not that tall If I slip when I'm tied up like a pretzel You'll see the very definition of a pratfall Now it's clear to me you never had a wash first Cause your armpits are smelling like a brat first And your feet is smelling even more worse Any minute I'll be living in a black hearse Yeah, we playing 48:15.811 --> 48:19.493 Twister, take your shoes off unless you wanna blister. 48:19.773 --> 48:22.574 We break a sweat but we never break our wister. 48:22.935 --> 48:25.476 You can bring your friend but please don't bring your sister. 48:25.956 --> 48:28.518 Yeah, we're playing Twister. 48:29.018 --> 48:31.459 Even MPs play it in Westminster. 48:31.859 --> 48:34.521 If you said younger, not if you is a spinster. 48:34.961 --> 48:37.042 We can all have a little game of Twister. 48:41.367 --> 48:42.488 There you go, that was Twister. 48:42.849 --> 48:44.150 That's great by Garth Jennings. 48:44.590 --> 48:46.011 Yeah, we took similar approaches. 48:46.091 --> 48:47.353 Yeah, isn't that weird? 48:47.573 --> 48:48.313 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 48:48.433 --> 48:49.554 Collective consciousness. 48:49.875 --> 48:50.776 Donkeys seldom differ. 48:51.416 --> 48:57.562 So, vote for your favourite song there or your least worst song if you prefer. 48:57.822 --> 49:06.890 Just put vote Adam or vote Garth as the header of your email to adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk and you can do that 49:07.270 --> 49:10.953 right throughout the week, whether you've listened to the podcast or you're doing Listen Again. 49:11.373 --> 49:13.055 Right now, some real music. 49:13.095 --> 49:15.316 This is Franz Ferdinand with Know You Girl. 49:16.597 --> 49:17.538 Pixies. 49:18.139 --> 49:29.688 With Here Comes Your Man, Adam and Joe program here on BBC6 Music with my good friend and your good friend Garth Jennings standing in for Joe who's in America at the moment doing his dealy deals. 49:30.108 --> 49:33.511 But right now I think it's time we had some travelin' tales. 49:34.031 --> 49:37.933 And do you know where that's from at the end there? 49:37.953 --> 49:40.254 Isn't that Captain Pugwash or something? 49:40.274 --> 49:41.614 No, it's Noah and Nelly. 49:50.115 --> 49:51.697 Oh, Noah and Nelly, yeah. 49:51.918 --> 49:52.498 Well done. 49:52.598 --> 49:57.204 That was, I think, the same studio, the animation studio that used to do Rhubarb and Custard. 49:58.206 --> 50:06.056 And it may even have been, what's his name, the same bloke that did the Rhubarb and Custard narration that did Noah and Nelly. 50:06.076 --> 50:06.496 I'm not sure. 50:06.536 --> 50:07.918 People can correct me if I'm wrong. 50:08.058 --> 50:15.402 Incidentally, we were talking about Gossip Girl, the name of the band that the lame rock dad in Gossip Girl has. 50:15.582 --> 50:16.943 They're called Lincoln Hawk. 50:17.383 --> 50:19.124 Not Linkin Park, you see. 50:19.624 --> 50:20.945 But Linkin HONK. 50:21.125 --> 50:21.945 I think that's how you pronounce it. 50:25.106 --> 50:26.847 Anyway, yeah, traveling tales. 50:27.107 --> 50:32.488 Now we've been asking you to send in any stories you have of things that have happened to you whilst you're traveling. 50:32.809 --> 50:39.050 A bit later on in the show we're going to play some more announcements and, you know, conductor messages that people have been sending in. 50:39.230 --> 50:40.251 Conductor messages? 50:40.311 --> 50:41.311 Is that the right way of doing it? 50:41.371 --> 50:44.212 Anyway, here's a message though from Michael Kelly. 50:45.052 --> 50:50.673 He says, uh, dear Frodo and Gandalf, referring to me and Joe there, not sure I'm happy with that. 50:52.714 --> 50:57.138 About 30 years ago when I was a young child, I was travelling from Dublin to Galway on the train. 50:57.538 --> 51:02.002 I'd just been treated to an ice lolly, and like a good little boy, I was looking for somewhere to put the wrapper. 51:02.142 --> 51:02.562 Quite right. 51:02.963 --> 51:12.551 I asked the conductor, and he very helpfully took it from me, opened a window, and said, here's a bin that never gets full, and threw it out. 51:12.951 --> 51:15.953 I've often thought the Irish tourist board could use that as a slogan. 51:16.574 --> 51:18.576 Ireland, a bin that never gets full. 51:21.827 --> 51:22.748 Michael Kelly. 51:23.588 --> 51:24.970 What the heck is that? 51:24.990 --> 51:26.030 That's fantastic. 51:26.631 --> 51:28.532 What a lovely sales pitch. 51:28.572 --> 51:30.474 Marilyn, the bin that never gets full. 51:30.534 --> 51:31.855 The bin that never gets full. 51:32.415 --> 51:33.796 What are you doing looking for a bin? 51:34.137 --> 51:35.678 Look there's a window right there. 51:35.698 --> 51:36.959 It's popping out the window. 51:37.639 --> 51:40.441 What are you doing wasting your time looking for a bin there? 51:40.762 --> 51:41.702 Thanks Michael Kelly. 51:42.603 --> 51:44.224 Now another thing that people have been 51:45.445 --> 51:47.808 Sending in messages about, there was a little pause there. 51:47.909 --> 51:48.890 I like that, you were breathing. 51:49.350 --> 51:50.352 Building up to something rare. 51:50.752 --> 51:51.753 I wondered if I should feel. 51:51.814 --> 51:52.695 I just got emotional. 51:56.800 --> 52:02.968 It is the whole business of trying to keep the seat next to you free when you're sitting, particularly on a train. 52:03.248 --> 52:30.007 yeah and it's amazing as soon as people get on a train I've been really thinking about this they get very selfish and protective over their little space I say they I mean I include myself very much in this you know I like to I think it's it's the fact that a train journey can be so pleasurable maybe the most pleasurable way of traveling you know as far as I'm concerned and if you're having a relaxing journey if it's not too busy nothing beats a train journey I reckon 52:30.667 --> 52:35.890 So the, you know, yearn to... Yearn? 52:36.750 --> 52:37.491 Are you alright over there? 52:37.511 --> 52:38.852 The desire... Do you want me to step in? 52:38.892 --> 52:40.152 The word desire is what I think. 52:40.172 --> 52:41.633 The word desire is what I think. 52:41.653 --> 52:45.955 The desire to keep your personal space free is considerable. 52:46.035 --> 52:48.297 So people have got lots of different techniques for doing that. 52:48.777 --> 52:50.698 Here is one from Pip Haylett. 52:50.798 --> 52:51.378 He's a man. 52:51.738 --> 52:56.181 He's been called Pip since he read Great Expectations at school when he was 14. 52:57.321 --> 52:58.002 Very good Pip. 52:58.782 --> 53:02.563 He says the other day I spotted a very good trick which might prove useful. 53:03.083 --> 53:15.106 I had booked my seat via a well-known pre-booking type of site on the internet for trains, also via blah blah blah other site, long convoluted process, but it comes with a reserved seat by default. 53:15.166 --> 53:22.208 So imagine my happiness when I'm finding my reserved seat on the window aisle on the next one to it. 53:22.228 --> 53:23.888 Sorry Garth, my brain occasionally malfunctions. 53:23.908 --> 53:26.769 We're just going to wheel him out folks, push him outside. 53:27.489 --> 53:54.235 okay thank you i know where he's going with this story right so he basically he he sits there and he is smugly in the non-reserved seat of course right so you get your reserved seat and then you sit in the one next to it which is non-reserved knowing that that reserved seat is going to stay free for the rest of the journey good tactic because the other one of course is the you know falling asleep and looking like you're a bit mad yeah we've had that that's a classic one that's an absolute smash 53:54.375 --> 54:03.882 Yeah, I had a friend who hurt her foot on a holiday, and on the way back she thought, I'd better take some crutches just in case my foot hurts a bit. 54:04.143 --> 54:10.948 As soon as anyone saw the crutches, she was given sort of two seats extra and loads of space, and first off the plane and everything. 54:10.968 --> 54:12.649 She'd only hurt her foot a little bit. 54:12.669 --> 54:14.370 Yeah, it just shows you, isn't it? 54:14.531 --> 54:15.872 She's lucky that she... Take some crutches. 54:15.892 --> 54:18.454 Next time you go on a plane, get yourself a nice big space. 54:18.494 --> 54:22.056 Unless you bump into Shtung, and he'd give you a humiliating kick in the crutch! 54:24.618 --> 54:28.040 Um, that is a reference to the song Synchronicity 2. 54:28.260 --> 54:33.383 I'm not saying that police, uh, members and Shtong in particular go around kicking the crutches out from people. 54:33.403 --> 54:34.123 I don't believe they do. 54:34.744 --> 54:36.885 Uh, here's a message now from Steve Curran. 54:37.085 --> 54:38.146 He is Steven. 54:38.706 --> 54:38.986 Okay. 54:39.066 --> 54:40.047 He's the original Steven. 54:40.227 --> 54:40.707 Okay. 54:40.947 --> 54:41.167 Yeah. 54:41.627 --> 54:42.008 Hi Adam. 54:42.048 --> 54:42.528 Hi Garth. 54:42.828 --> 54:51.413 Last week's email from the woman who acted as if she was pregnant to save someone's feelings on public transport reminded me of a similar piece of public pretending. 54:51.953 --> 54:53.714 Uh, now did you hear that thing last week Garth? 54:53.874 --> 54:54.154 I didn't. 54:54.294 --> 55:00.395 It was a lady who got onto a bus and someone offered her a seat because they thought she was pregnant and she wasn't. 55:00.916 --> 55:01.076 Oh no! 55:01.256 --> 55:01.596 That's awful. 55:01.796 --> 55:03.736 She just had a little belly there. 55:03.796 --> 55:04.056 Yeah. 55:04.756 --> 55:09.658 So what the lady did was, to save the person's feelings, she acted as if she were pregnant. 55:09.738 --> 55:10.518 Oh my goodness. 55:10.738 --> 55:12.698 Only in England would somebody go through with that. 55:12.718 --> 55:17.059 She stuck her tummy out as she was rubbing her belly and patting it and stuff and then holding her back. 55:17.359 --> 55:17.899 Oh no! 55:17.999 --> 55:20.320 I've got such a lot of back pain since I've been pregnant, which I am. 55:21.440 --> 55:22.281 Holy moly. 55:22.401 --> 55:25.142 So Steve had a similar type of thing. 55:25.182 --> 55:31.725 He says, as I'm sure you'll know, it's frequently difficult to judge whether a fellow passenger or is preggers or just a little paunchy. 55:32.005 --> 55:41.509 So in order to avoid causing offence, either by failing to offer my seat or inadvertently making the person feel fat, I simply stand up and disembark at the next stop. 55:42.049 --> 55:46.892 This way, the person in question gets the seat, and I'm no longer in danger of upsetting anyone. 55:47.192 --> 55:51.775 And then I'll either sneak into the next carriage, or wait for the next bus, train, or tube to come along. 55:52.055 --> 55:52.595 Bongo! 55:53.015 --> 55:56.237 I do the same thing for people who look quite old, but not decrepit. 55:56.958 --> 55:59.619 Uh, now that I write this down, it looks a little bit mentile. 56:00.039 --> 56:01.120 Am I alone in doing this? 56:01.260 --> 56:02.941 Always seems like a good idea at the time. 56:03.021 --> 56:05.182 You're definitely alone there, that's a bit much I'd say. 56:05.222 --> 56:07.544 You reckon, actually getting off rather than- Yeah, getting off the whole- 56:08.084 --> 56:08.664 vehicle. 56:08.784 --> 56:11.045 Oh no, there's someone who is either fat or pregnant. 56:11.085 --> 56:11.305 Yes. 56:11.345 --> 56:12.025 I'm going to have to get off. 56:14.946 --> 56:18.846 Could you imagine it, cause if that caught on and then everyone would just be getting off trains all the time. 56:18.947 --> 56:19.207 Yeah. 56:19.627 --> 56:20.187 Oh no. 56:20.307 --> 56:22.007 I can't tell if that's real or. 56:22.347 --> 56:25.248 And then they'd have to ban people with a little belly or who are pregnant. 56:25.468 --> 56:25.728 Yeah. 56:25.768 --> 56:27.568 You have to have separate services laid on for the. 56:27.588 --> 56:28.549 Just have to have a badge. 56:28.709 --> 56:29.729 For the porky and the pregnant. 56:30.009 --> 56:30.349 Yeah. 56:31.070 --> 56:31.790 I am poor Keith. 56:32.050 --> 56:33.311 You know, there's no baby here. 56:33.431 --> 56:33.972 That's right. 56:34.432 --> 56:34.832 Exactly. 56:34.932 --> 56:35.753 Little badge system. 56:35.933 --> 56:36.814 I just love cakes. 56:37.974 --> 56:38.395 It's okay. 56:38.415 --> 56:39.275 You can stay in your seat. 56:39.495 --> 56:40.096 I love cakes. 56:40.116 --> 56:40.616 Yeah. 56:41.537 --> 56:43.038 Thank you very much for all those messages. 56:43.218 --> 56:45.960 Here's Holly Cook right now and that very night. 56:47.461 --> 56:47.761 Love it. 56:48.297 --> 56:50.378 Talking Heads with Heaven there. 56:50.398 --> 56:53.259 I was saying to Garth, you've got that album, haven't you? 56:53.319 --> 56:54.080 Fear of Music? 56:54.260 --> 56:55.300 Yeah, now you do this a lot. 56:55.320 --> 56:56.300 You say, you've got that, right? 56:56.320 --> 56:57.961 And I go, nah. 56:58.281 --> 57:00.782 And then you get really cross with me and say, but you've got to have it. 57:01.062 --> 57:02.643 You can't exist without that album. 57:02.723 --> 57:04.964 That's maybe the second best Talking Heads album, I reckon. 57:05.064 --> 57:05.805 OK. 57:05.865 --> 57:07.385 Remain in Light being perhaps the best. 57:08.105 --> 57:09.326 The one with Once in a Lifetime. 57:09.366 --> 57:10.306 And you haven't got that one either. 57:10.326 --> 57:11.267 Well, I just know all the hits. 57:11.787 --> 57:15.149 I'm a bit of a loser in that respect, but I'm gonna catch up this weekend. 57:15.469 --> 57:16.630 Get remaining light. 57:16.750 --> 57:18.912 It's just amazing. 57:19.212 --> 57:20.172 Amazing! 57:20.453 --> 57:25.396 Let's have a jingle, and it's time for Text-A-Nation, I think. 57:25.596 --> 57:26.416 Text-A-Nation! 57:26.456 --> 57:26.777 Text! 57:26.837 --> 57:27.117 Text! 57:27.157 --> 57:27.557 Text! 57:27.617 --> 57:28.358 Text-A-Nation! 57:28.438 --> 57:29.418 What if I don't want to? 57:29.639 --> 57:30.379 Text-A-Nation! 57:30.459 --> 57:31.460 But I'm using email. 57:31.640 --> 57:32.380 Is that a problem? 57:32.400 --> 57:32.961 It doesn't matter! 57:33.001 --> 57:33.221 Text! 57:35.663 --> 57:58.564 Text the nation time listeners and a couple of weeks back I read out an email from Ed Bailey he had this to say I love pink lady apples but they're so darn expensive so every lunch time for about the last year I go to the self-service aisle of a certain supermarket to pay for my lunch and when paying for my pink lady apple I select Cox apple from the list instead. 57:59.825 --> 58:00.085 Beep! 58:00.466 --> 58:02.567 I reckon I save about 20p a day. 58:02.807 --> 58:09.731 But I'm starting to get a bit twitchy now it's gone on for so long I always try and stand between the staff guy and the screen so he can't actually see. 58:10.172 --> 58:13.534 I'm ringing in a cheaper apple than the one I'm buying. 58:14.174 --> 58:18.076 I keep expecting to be seen on an in-store scoundrels list. 58:18.217 --> 58:19.798 Love the show, keep up the good work. 58:19.858 --> 58:20.658 Thanks Ed Bailey. 58:21.118 --> 58:23.620 So he is sticking it to the man. 58:24.100 --> 58:24.360 Right. 58:24.520 --> 58:28.123 I mean I would say strictly speaking that's breaking the law. 58:28.809 --> 58:30.110 And I wouldn't encourage that. 58:30.311 --> 58:31.532 No, you can't encourage that. 58:31.692 --> 58:33.254 No, you can understand it. 58:33.314 --> 58:36.878 You can sort of understand it, but that is, that's law breaking there, Ed. 58:36.898 --> 58:40.702 And I wouldn't like you to get busted or think that that was entirely acceptable. 58:41.082 --> 58:51.373 However, I am interested in other ways that people stick it to the man, you know, ways that you sort of, you have your little moment of victory and you think, yeah, come on, I'm making things right. 58:51.573 --> 58:54.454 I'm living in an unfair world and I'm trying to straighten it out. 58:54.814 --> 58:56.835 Yeah but it was small and slightly pathetic. 58:56.855 --> 58:57.476 A little bit pathetic. 58:57.496 --> 58:59.196 You know a bit like apples really. 58:59.276 --> 59:01.017 Yeah what kind of thing do you do? 59:01.417 --> 59:08.160 Well we were talking about this a bit earlier and definitely if I'm traveling in low class which is normally where I end up traveling. 59:08.360 --> 59:08.861 In steerage. 59:09.041 --> 59:09.821 Yeah in steerage. 59:09.981 --> 59:10.461 On a plane? 59:10.661 --> 59:14.883 Yeah on a plane or a train or something I like to use the high class first class facilities. 59:14.903 --> 59:15.564 Sure you do. 59:15.584 --> 59:19.185 Even if somebody says ah sorry actually you're supposed to be back there. 59:19.505 --> 59:20.766 Oh sorry I was just using the toilet. 59:21.346 --> 59:23.568 very fascistic about it these days. 59:23.928 --> 59:34.896 It used to be that you could wander up there through first class, have a little look at the celebrities sipping their champagne, having their massages, and use their laves, which actually were not that different from the economy class. 59:34.916 --> 59:36.817 They're much nicer soap, I seem to remember. 59:37.297 --> 59:40.658 So yeah, sometimes they have little napkins and stuff out there, don't they? 59:40.798 --> 59:44.060 But what they do have is, they're easier to use. 59:44.100 --> 59:46.541 Sometimes there'll be a queue, an economy, right, for the lab. 59:47.241 --> 59:50.722 But up in first class, it's all, no one's really using it. 59:50.742 --> 59:52.383 They're too busy getting massages, isn't it? 59:52.403 --> 59:54.544 Yeah, and it's the same sitting in an economy seat. 59:54.604 --> 59:58.765 And then after we took off, there was loads of space in the front section. 59:59.285 --> 01:00:00.646 I said, can we just move into that? 01:00:00.666 --> 01:00:03.047 And they said, no, no, no. 01:00:03.107 --> 01:00:04.867 Get back in your box, Jennings. 01:00:05.128 --> 01:00:06.288 That's a funny joke you made. 01:00:06.488 --> 01:00:08.388 Now get back in your tiny seat! 01:00:09.349 --> 01:00:10.209 It was pretty much it. 01:00:10.729 --> 01:00:16.410 And then the lights went down because everyone was going to sleep, and I just walked forward and sat in the front section for the whole way. 01:00:16.630 --> 01:00:17.210 Slept the whole way. 01:00:17.710 --> 01:00:22.611 And the funny thing was there were some people in their own front, in the proper, who'd paid for their seat, who were furious. 01:00:22.631 --> 01:00:28.752 But they couldn't bring themselves to say anything, so instead they would just keep turning round and going, you know, a stern look. 01:00:28.793 --> 01:00:30.313 I'm doing a stern look, Radio People. 01:00:30.813 --> 01:00:36.134 And it was quite, so I just went to sleep, and had a nice sleep, then went back into my seat for landing. 01:00:36.574 --> 01:00:38.016 They've stuck it to the man. 01:00:38.136 --> 01:00:45.285 If I'd paid top whack for first class and some guy crept in and sat behind me, I'd be upset if they were causing nonsense. 01:00:45.865 --> 01:00:46.766 Yeah, but I was just sleeping. 01:00:46.786 --> 01:00:48.128 But you were just sleeping, that's no problem. 01:00:48.148 --> 01:00:49.369 You'd just think, yeah, good on you mate. 01:00:49.750 --> 01:00:51.672 Most people in first class haven't paid anyway. 01:00:52.052 --> 01:00:59.174 You know, it's there on business or something, because who can afford to pay, it's usually about five or sometimes ten times as much as it is in economy, isn't it? 01:00:59.594 --> 01:01:06.656 And that's why now, I think a lot of the staff on those planes are aware of the fact that the people who have paid get very proprietorial. 01:01:06.696 --> 01:01:09.056 They don't like to see interlopers coming into their zone. 01:01:09.576 --> 01:01:15.538 So as soon as you go in there and try and have a go at the first class labs, the lady's right there, bang, sorry sir, curtain. 01:01:16.118 --> 01:01:18.901 you know, drawn across little cattle products. 01:01:19.181 --> 01:01:19.942 Get back to your seat. 01:01:19.962 --> 01:01:20.342 Exactly. 01:01:20.382 --> 01:01:23.084 Please can you stick to your own lavish place, the tiny lavish. 01:01:23.385 --> 01:01:24.506 Tiny dirty lavish. 01:01:24.526 --> 01:01:25.667 Don't ever come up here again. 01:01:26.848 --> 01:01:27.869 No, no, don't even set foot. 01:01:27.909 --> 01:01:28.869 No, no, don't even look. 01:01:29.090 --> 01:01:30.051 Don't even look at it. 01:01:30.111 --> 01:01:30.871 It's not your place. 01:01:30.911 --> 01:01:31.212 Thank you. 01:01:31.252 --> 01:01:31.672 Don't come. 01:01:32.893 --> 01:01:36.414 So that's what we're asking you about, listeners. 01:01:36.554 --> 01:01:42.597 Times that you have managed to successfully stick it to the man without the curtains being drawn on your ass. 01:01:42.957 --> 01:01:51.080 The email address, if you'd like to email us on this or any other subject, is adamandjoe.sixmusic at bbc.co.uk. 01:01:51.281 --> 01:01:52.321 Or you can text us. 01:01:52.641 --> 01:01:55.983 Texts will be charged at your standard message rate at 64046. 64046. 01:01:59.224 --> 01:02:21.599 four six keep those texts and messages coming in and if you're listening to this program during the week on listen again or the podcast that's fine you can like email us it's not a problem don't text if it's during the week all right here's simian mobile disco now and this is the audacity of huge with a bit of fat inside as well a bit grizzled that is nice big fat which is cool and i'm gonna cut it 01:02:22.438 --> 01:02:24.179 quite rough. 01:02:24.360 --> 01:02:28.763 This particular one you can make it with any kind, cheap cut of meat. 01:02:29.143 --> 01:02:33.807 Cheapest meat you have a better taste because there is inside and there's a bit of fat inside. 01:02:34.448 --> 01:02:38.471 Yes, that's two pack with Dr. Dre, the California love. 01:02:39.901 --> 01:02:43.362 Adam and Joe program here on BBC6 music with my friend Garth. 01:02:43.662 --> 01:02:43.922 Hello. 01:02:43.962 --> 01:02:44.782 How are you doing? 01:02:44.802 --> 01:02:46.163 I'm alright, how's it going there? 01:02:46.423 --> 01:02:47.443 Very enjoyable, thank you. 01:02:47.463 --> 01:02:47.543 Good. 01:02:47.563 --> 01:02:48.263 Nice to have you here. 01:02:48.283 --> 01:02:49.103 It's nice to be here. 01:02:50.144 --> 01:02:58.206 I was talking about greetings with some folks yesterday and you know like kissing people high and hugs and things like that. 01:02:58.266 --> 01:02:58.406 Yeah. 01:02:59.267 --> 01:03:00.047 What's your approach? 01:03:00.087 --> 01:03:00.988 Are you a hugging guy? 01:03:01.669 --> 01:03:06.033 Yeah, I will hug you or kiss you depending on where you stand. 01:03:06.053 --> 01:03:10.117 So you're generally hugging, how quickly will you start hugging men? 01:03:11.418 --> 01:03:12.660 You won't do it on a first meeting. 01:03:12.760 --> 01:03:14.842 On a first meeting, no, that would be strange. 01:03:15.682 --> 01:03:21.248 Although I had a hug with a guy on a first, like at the end of a first meeting yesterday, we were hugging. 01:03:21.548 --> 01:03:23.529 Well that- it depends how the meeting goes, doesn't it? 01:03:23.549 --> 01:03:25.069 Yeah, it was fun, it was really nice to meet him. 01:03:25.710 --> 01:03:28.991 But- and also I think we've been talking about it, so it was- it was legitimized. 01:03:29.011 --> 01:03:30.291 Well you had to get- just do it. 01:03:30.371 --> 01:03:31.792 And how about ladies? 01:03:32.292 --> 01:03:33.813 Are you hugging the ladies? 01:03:33.873 --> 01:03:35.053 Are you kissing the ladies? 01:03:35.113 --> 01:03:35.893 What are you going for? 01:03:35.953 --> 01:03:37.794 Normally, a little kiss on both cheeks. 01:03:38.935 --> 01:03:39.995 Confident kiss on both cheeks. 01:03:40.015 --> 01:03:40.855 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:03:40.955 --> 01:03:41.656 That's what I like. 01:03:41.676 --> 01:03:42.356 Don't go for the lips. 01:03:42.996 --> 01:03:45.839 No, my friends, my Swedish friends go for the lips. 01:03:46.520 --> 01:03:52.246 Per and Christina, they go right for your lips, and they really smack on there, and it's quite alarming when you first have that. 01:03:52.587 --> 01:03:54.048 So the man does it as well. 01:03:54.068 --> 01:03:55.390 He does it right on my face. 01:03:56.331 --> 01:03:58.974 Why I had to copy your Australian accent then, I don't know. 01:03:59.014 --> 01:03:59.975 It's the best accent. 01:04:00.015 --> 01:04:03.879 It's very easy to slip into, but anyway, yes, they like a full-on smooch. 01:04:04.099 --> 01:04:17.022 Well the lady, one of the ladies that I was speaking to yesterday, said that sometimes what happens when people go in for a hug or when they're just standing there perhaps in company and they sort of keep their arm around you sometimes. 01:04:17.042 --> 01:04:19.462 Like some people just keep their arm around a woman or something. 01:04:19.482 --> 01:04:20.542 You know what I mean? 01:04:20.562 --> 01:04:21.582 Like, hey, we're all friends. 01:04:21.842 --> 01:04:29.024 Anyway, sometimes when people go in for a hug, they say apparently they reach around a little too far and the hand comes to rest on the sort of breastal area. 01:04:30.364 --> 01:04:31.325 Well I don't do that. 01:04:31.545 --> 01:04:31.785 No. 01:04:32.105 --> 01:04:33.005 No that's naughty. 01:04:33.566 --> 01:04:38.968 And then the lady I was speaking to said I find it very annoying when men go in for a weak hug. 01:04:39.208 --> 01:04:42.490 She said I'd prefer like a big proper bear hug type thing. 01:04:42.510 --> 01:04:45.971 Oh I know you mean where you're just sort of like putting your arms around them and touching them a bit. 01:04:45.991 --> 01:04:47.392 And touching them because you don't want to get sued. 01:04:47.532 --> 01:04:51.694 Yeah like yes exactly I don't I'm touching you but no listen you can almost hear that 01:04:51.914 --> 01:04:54.115 I'm not trying to touch any of your parts. 01:04:54.535 --> 01:04:56.796 I'm just giving you a little touch for some human contact. 01:04:57.256 --> 01:04:58.877 It's kind of like a granny hug, isn't it? 01:04:59.097 --> 01:04:59.417 Yeah. 01:04:59.457 --> 01:05:01.698 Well, no, my grandpa was big on the hugs as well. 01:05:02.359 --> 01:05:03.159 You have to get in there. 01:05:03.319 --> 01:05:07.641 But if you're hugging like a very fragile old person or something, you wouldn't go in for a big man hug. 01:05:07.741 --> 01:05:08.682 That's true, you might hurt them. 01:05:09.022 --> 01:05:12.263 But generally, I suppose you should think about it as like a handshake. 01:05:12.343 --> 01:05:14.704 No one wants a, you know, a weak handshake. 01:05:15.284 --> 01:05:15.545 No. 01:05:15.645 --> 01:05:18.546 What about the over-emphasized handshake? 01:05:18.986 --> 01:05:20.968 Yeah, the constant shaking one. 01:05:21.188 --> 01:05:21.449 Yeah. 01:05:21.489 --> 01:05:23.010 Yeah, there's a lot of people out there doing that. 01:05:23.290 --> 01:05:24.311 That's just a bit silly. 01:05:24.331 --> 01:05:25.192 It's like showing off. 01:05:25.713 --> 01:05:29.056 I'm not going to let go of your hand and just shaking it all over the place. 01:05:29.096 --> 01:05:30.037 Pumping, pumping, pumping. 01:05:30.177 --> 01:05:33.741 Yeah, what I do in that scenario is just stare at my hand with really wide eyes. 01:05:34.361 --> 01:05:36.964 just stare at it while it's shaking as if, you know, what's this? 01:05:37.184 --> 01:05:45.391 And the other thing this girl was talking about was how angry she gets again with, you know, a hesitant kiss. 01:05:45.792 --> 01:05:48.254 Like a hesitant peck, not sure which way to go for. 01:05:48.534 --> 01:05:56.602 She would rather, she said, get a full-on lip smooch than have someone go in for a bit of a weedy peck on, I'm not sure which cheek to peck. 01:05:56.622 --> 01:05:59.765 I normally find that if I go going to give a lady a kiss goodbye, 01:06:00.425 --> 01:06:22.248 that she just throws her cheek at me she's not going to she's not coming in with the kisses no it's not mutual but surely i was thinking i said to her like but if doctor you know that's fair enough if you're uh you know pierce bronholm but if your doctor buckles going in there with your hairy little face yeah and you're expecting a lip kiss from someone at the end of a meeting you're gonna get sent to prison yeah it's gonna end in jail 01:06:23.727 --> 01:06:24.968 And in absolute jail. 01:06:24.988 --> 01:06:26.749 Yeah, absolute jail. 01:06:28.370 --> 01:06:28.710 Wow. 01:06:29.331 --> 01:06:36.716 You know, I'd be curious to know if there's anyone out there with any special techniques or any things that they like in a greeting, that kind of thing. 01:06:36.856 --> 01:06:37.957 You never reach around. 01:06:37.977 --> 01:06:40.759 The other thing that these ladies were talking about was people 01:06:41.699 --> 01:06:47.663 letting, like, I think it's tall people, big, long, gangly people with the big, long, rangy arms. 01:06:48.224 --> 01:06:49.925 They don't know what to do with their arms sometimes. 01:06:49.945 --> 01:06:56.289 So that's when you find the arms drifting around to the breastal zone or sometimes coming to rest on the butox. 01:06:56.870 --> 01:06:58.071 Well, I've never had that. 01:06:58.611 --> 01:07:06.437 I've never had that by, I mean, I suppose you've just got to be very careful and take your time and just think about it, you know, just take your time. 01:07:06.457 --> 01:07:07.998 Treat every woman as if she were a nun. 01:07:09.999 --> 01:07:10.780 That's my technique. 01:07:12.418 --> 01:07:15.659 So actually you should kneel before them and make the sign of the cross. 01:07:16.119 --> 01:07:18.100 Pray to them and confess all the terrible things you've done. 01:07:18.120 --> 01:07:22.642 Let's see if they still want to snog you. 01:07:23.022 --> 01:07:26.163 OK, before we say goodbye I'm just going to kneel here and just tell you what I did last week. 01:07:26.383 --> 01:07:27.764 I've got a few things to confess. 01:07:29.524 --> 01:07:30.705 OK, it's free play time. 01:07:31.005 --> 01:07:35.867 Now I have to say that I've played this on the relevant joke program before but I really love it. 01:07:36.167 --> 01:07:38.468 And I think the first time I played it I didn't even know 01:07:39.108 --> 01:07:53.750 who it was by or what it was called or anything because it was one of those things i'd got off a friend off their mp3 player or whatever and right it was just untitled so and it didn't work on the shazam thing where you hold it up to the phone and you know you hold the phone up the speaker and 01:07:55.330 --> 01:08:00.452 None of it worked and I couldn't find it on the internet or anything and then I can't remember exactly how I narrowed it down. 01:08:00.512 --> 01:08:17.598 I think I heard some music by this band that this guy is part of and he's part of a German kind of rap combo called the Fantastic Four or Die Fantastischen Wir and he's called Thomas D and they sounded a bit similar so I thought ah I bet that's the guy. 01:08:18.158 --> 01:08:39.797 and sure enough i i tracked it down the track is called liebes brief by thomas d hope you enjoyed this bit of nice german rapping in it that's good isn't it i mean there's times when a bit of german really hits the spot bit of german nice german motorway at night some nice charm that's thomas d and the track is called liebes brief 01:08:41.002 --> 01:08:41.882 Yeah, I liked it. 01:08:42.483 --> 01:08:46.624 I got a little message here about, you know, the whole social etiquette thing. 01:08:46.944 --> 01:08:47.505 It's from Lucy. 01:08:47.525 --> 01:08:58.569 It says, apropos of your handshake conversation, the headmaster of the primary school I teach in gave the whole school a handshake lesson in assembly last week, or this week rather, focusing on the importance of a strong shake. 01:08:59.009 --> 01:09:00.370 An important life lesson, I thought. 01:09:00.970 --> 01:09:01.370 Not bad. 01:09:01.390 --> 01:09:02.091 That's from Lucy. 01:09:02.111 --> 01:09:03.071 That's a genuine... Good idea. 01:09:03.511 --> 01:09:06.473 thing that the headmaster sat them all down and said, this is how you're going to do it. 01:09:06.493 --> 01:09:06.713 Yeah. 01:09:07.233 --> 01:09:14.497 And then you reach around so you can just get the edge of the breastal zone and then pop your hand on the butox. 01:09:16.699 --> 01:09:18.700 I think it's time for some poppropriation. 01:09:18.720 --> 01:09:19.480 Let's have the jingle. 01:09:20.861 --> 01:09:26.725 I like to change the lyrics of songs from time to time. 01:09:26.745 --> 01:09:31.747 To make them refer to things I do. 01:09:35.678 --> 01:09:38.283 I wonder if it's something you do to me 01:09:53.442 --> 01:09:53.923 There you go. 01:09:54.143 --> 01:09:57.586 So that more or less explains the idea of popopreation, I think. 01:09:58.467 --> 01:10:01.070 Quite hard for people to say sometimes, or to write down. 01:10:01.430 --> 01:10:02.932 You just think of pop rope. 01:10:03.692 --> 01:10:05.194 Popopreation, alright? 01:10:05.354 --> 01:10:05.654 Got it. 01:10:05.714 --> 01:10:06.415 That's all it is. 01:10:06.916 --> 01:10:08.898 Here, I'm going to tear one off for you, Gareth, mate. 01:10:09.538 --> 01:10:10.699 Because, you know, you're our guest. 01:10:11.941 --> 01:10:13.542 That's one for a little bit later. 01:10:13.562 --> 01:10:16.906 You can read it and digest it in your digestive system, mate. 01:10:17.846 --> 01:10:18.887 I'll give you an example though. 01:10:18.927 --> 01:10:22.028 Here's one from James from Highgate. 01:10:22.388 --> 01:10:28.350 He says, hey, when I'm in dire need of a haircut, I sing to the tune of the Bonnie Tyler song. 01:10:28.670 --> 01:10:29.690 I need a haircut. 01:10:30.091 --> 01:10:31.411 I'm holding out for a haircut. 01:10:31.451 --> 01:10:32.051 Yes, a haircut. 01:10:32.071 --> 01:10:32.711 That's right. 01:10:32.992 --> 01:10:37.293 Well, it's gotta be short and it's gotta be neat and it's gotta be something I like. 01:10:37.313 --> 01:10:39.514 I need a haircut. 01:10:40.154 --> 01:10:43.956 I'm holding out for a haircut. 01:10:43.976 --> 01:10:45.196 I need a haircut. 01:10:45.857 --> 01:10:48.460 I'm rolling out for a haircut in the morning light. 01:10:49.341 --> 01:10:50.021 I like that one. 01:10:50.041 --> 01:10:51.903 Oh, I can't possibly top it. 01:10:52.304 --> 01:10:53.665 This is from Nathan in London. 01:10:54.126 --> 01:10:58.090 Following on your theme of Beatles tunes, I used to sing to myself to the tune of Here Comes the Sun. 01:10:58.551 --> 01:11:00.373 Here comes my mum, do do do do. 01:11:00.553 --> 01:11:01.234 That's pretty good. 01:11:01.254 --> 01:11:02.155 Yeah. 01:11:02.375 --> 01:11:04.358 Here comes my mum and she's alright. 01:11:04.838 --> 01:11:19.824 I've got one which is, when I need the toilet in my office, the toilet's quite far away, so I always have to run to the loo, so I sing, um, I'm Gonna Run To You by Bryan Adams, which is, I'm gonna run to the loo, when the feeling's right, I'm gonna run all night, I'm gonna run to the loo. 01:11:19.844 --> 01:11:21.505 That's how I do it. 01:11:22.125 --> 01:11:23.586 I thought you were gonna go for Iron Maiden. 01:11:23.926 --> 01:11:28.868 Run to the loo, run for your life. 01:11:31.445 --> 01:11:32.406 There's another one for you, mate. 01:11:32.446 --> 01:11:33.947 I like the fact you're tearing them off now. 01:11:34.127 --> 01:11:34.567 Very nice. 01:11:34.587 --> 01:11:34.647 Yep. 01:11:34.827 --> 01:11:36.028 A little bit of confetti. 01:11:36.068 --> 01:11:37.649 Here's another one from Meredith. 01:11:37.689 --> 01:11:38.390 She's female. 01:11:38.410 --> 01:11:41.171 16 and not old enough to know any better. 01:11:42.092 --> 01:11:43.913 Uh, hi Adam and Joe and Garth. 01:11:44.073 --> 01:11:46.035 I have a nice bit of prop-ropriation for you. 01:11:46.135 --> 01:11:57.482 My best friend's dad started doing this once when they were eating buns, but now it's absolutely all I can sing whenever I hear this song, uh, Breakfast in America by Supertramp she's talking about. 01:11:57.963 --> 01:11:59.724 And is this a kind of a bun, a Belgian? 01:11:59.744 --> 01:12:01.165 A Belgian bun? 01:12:01.685 --> 01:12:03.306 Yeah yeah I think you can have that. 01:12:03.326 --> 01:12:09.970 So she says take a look at my Belgian, Belgian it's the only bun I got. 01:12:10.170 --> 01:12:14.233 It's not much of a Belgian, Belgian there's half a cherry on the top. 01:12:16.184 --> 01:12:17.145 Oh dear, oh dear! 01:12:17.325 --> 01:12:18.205 That's good, Meredith. 01:12:18.465 --> 01:12:19.366 Oh god, what have I got? 01:12:19.446 --> 01:12:19.886 Um, hang on. 01:12:20.246 --> 01:12:42.657 Uh, I, uh, this guy, um, Keith, from Harmonden, he says, I often put my laptop into sleep mode to take a short break to eat or something, and when I wake up, uh, it's from a slumber, from its slumber, the laptop wakes up, sorry, not when I wake up, when my laptop wakes up, the screen shows the words, resuming windows, and then proceed to cheerfully sing, when I'm resuming windows, to the George, the tune of George Formby's When I'm Cleaning Windows. 01:12:42.677 --> 01:12:42.957 There you go. 01:12:43.157 --> 01:12:44.518 I'm resuming windows. 01:12:45.158 --> 01:12:47.561 Sorry Keith, I read that out very badly, but it was a good one. 01:12:48.082 --> 01:12:48.742 Oh, that's good, man. 01:12:50.184 --> 01:12:55.069 And finally for Pop-opriation today... Actually, no, we got a couple more that I want to share with you. 01:12:55.530 --> 01:12:56.671 This is from John Webster. 01:12:56.851 --> 01:12:58.753 He's a mailman from Macclesfield. 01:12:59.674 --> 01:13:04.219 He says, my wife quite often leaves things precariously balanced in the kitchen. 01:13:04.660 --> 01:13:05.360 So does mine! 01:13:06.081 --> 01:13:12.622 This can be a dangerously teetering pile of drying up or some badly placed consumables on the pantry shelves. 01:13:12.982 --> 01:13:20.684 And if I'm not careful, it can lead to quite a serious gravity based disaster when reaching to grasp an object, for example, my favorite mug or a jar of peanut butter. 01:13:21.124 --> 01:13:26.225 I mentally refer to these situations as booby traps, even though I'm sure my wife doesn't create them on purpose. 01:13:26.605 --> 01:13:31.766 But whenever I encounter one of these situations, I sing the words booby trap, doo doo doo doo to the 01:13:33.532 --> 01:13:44.562 In the style of boogie nights by heatwave if my wife hears me it annoys her So now I've changed it so I sometimes sing precarious Instead of notorious by Duran Duran. 01:13:44.843 --> 01:13:50.768 I don't think it's really helped matters Hope you don't think I'm not completely mentile a few biases John Webster from Macclesfield is 01:13:50.988 --> 01:14:09.547 Jon I totally sympathize and I'm going to be using those myself because my wife sets booby traps as well her favorite thing is to get like when we have guests and stuff she'll make coffee and things and she'll put out a little milk jug right yeah rather than just because she's fancy it's nice she doesn't put out a whole table now because 01:14:09.947 --> 01:14:11.307 It's so ugly, Garth. 01:14:11.327 --> 01:14:13.208 So ugly to have a carton on the table. 01:14:13.668 --> 01:14:16.409 So she gets a little milk jug, pops it out there, very nice. 01:14:16.809 --> 01:14:22.071 But then afterwards, when people have gone, if there's still some milk left, she doesn't want to chuck it away and waste the milk, so she pops it back in the fridge. 01:14:22.311 --> 01:14:26.512 But what happens is you get, no one's going to use that little flipping milk jug after that. 01:14:26.872 --> 01:14:35.679 So you get a whole collection of these milk jugs teetering on piles of, you know, low-fat spread and yoghurt and stuff at the very top of the fridge. 01:14:36.099 --> 01:14:40.963 And the other day I went in there to grab me a low cholesterol spread mod. 01:14:40.983 --> 01:14:42.644 Sorry about that sound. 01:14:46.107 --> 01:14:54.895 And so I knock off one of the flipping teetering milk jugs and it tips right the way down the back of the fridge and it starts dripping. 01:14:54.955 --> 01:15:00.119 I could hear it dripping on each one of the shelves, you know, all over every single item there. 01:15:00.179 --> 01:15:01.400 You must have been furious. 01:15:01.420 --> 01:15:02.121 I was human! 01:15:03.723 --> 01:15:04.203 Half an hour. 01:15:04.644 --> 01:15:14.094 Half an hour I spent that I couldn't afford taking every single thing out of the flipping fridge and hosing it all down, taking all the trays out. 01:15:14.395 --> 01:15:17.298 I mean it needed a clean anyway so I guess it was worth doing. 01:15:17.378 --> 01:15:23.285 And did you as you were cleaning it out really do it aggressively, silently but aggressively so your wife was aware that you were really angry? 01:15:23.365 --> 01:15:25.265 Yeah, she was doing some work in the next room. 01:15:25.565 --> 01:15:31.127 So I knew that it was unfair to really give her a hard time because essentially I should have taken more care getting the stuff out. 01:15:31.607 --> 01:15:33.487 However, I was furious. 01:15:33.747 --> 01:15:37.668 So every, like right the way through the cleaning process, which kept on getting messier and smelly. 01:15:37.688 --> 01:15:39.648 I don't like milk very much and it was all smelly. 01:15:39.668 --> 01:15:41.809 You were a bit weird with the dairy stuff on you. 01:15:42.369 --> 01:15:46.470 So every time I was cleaning, I was like, oh, are you done? 01:15:51.753 --> 01:15:59.778 So she could hear me, you know. 01:15:59.798 --> 01:16:04.722 Because it always find the milk always soaks into the pizza box and then reduces it to a sort of marsh, doesn't it? 01:16:05.022 --> 01:16:06.323 It's all yellow and crusty. 01:16:06.623 --> 01:16:07.564 It's a living nightmare! 01:16:08.024 --> 01:16:10.345 Thank you very much for all your appropriation this week. 01:16:10.846 --> 01:16:14.208 And we have skidded right past the 12.30 mark. 01:16:14.268 --> 01:16:15.529 It is time for the news. 01:16:16.124 --> 01:16:17.885 That's Malcolm McLaren there. 01:16:18.286 --> 01:16:20.067 Cheeky Malcolm with Double Dutch. 01:16:20.347 --> 01:16:25.551 And this is BBC six music the Adam and Joe programme here with the mighty Garth Jennings. 01:16:25.691 --> 01:16:25.971 Hello. 01:16:26.371 --> 01:16:27.312 Filling in for Joe. 01:16:27.412 --> 01:16:28.252 How you doing, mate? 01:16:28.453 --> 01:16:29.854 I'm hanging in there for Joe. 01:16:29.954 --> 01:16:33.276 Now listen, let's have a couple of text the nation things right now. 01:16:33.336 --> 01:16:46.440 OK, because we were talking about sticking it to the man earlier on, and people have been regaling us with a couple of the things that they do, just to make themselves feel a little bit better about some of the more unfair aspects of life. 01:16:46.820 --> 01:16:50.741 Actually, a lot of people are just setting in stories about them nicking things. 01:16:50.781 --> 01:16:52.141 Yeah, it's quite bad, actually. 01:16:53.001 --> 01:16:54.302 You know, we're not encouraging that. 01:16:54.762 --> 01:16:58.683 We want sort of legitimate ways of, you know, getting your own back. 01:16:58.703 --> 01:17:00.843 Can we have a little jingle for this bit, James? 01:17:03.168 --> 01:17:03.949 Text the nation! 01:17:04.029 --> 01:17:04.329 Text! 01:17:04.389 --> 01:17:04.669 Text! 01:17:04.729 --> 01:17:05.090 Text! 01:17:05.190 --> 01:17:05.930 Text the nation! 01:17:05.990 --> 01:17:06.971 What if I don't want to? 01:17:07.212 --> 01:17:07.932 Text the nation! 01:17:08.032 --> 01:17:09.053 But I'm using email. 01:17:09.213 --> 01:17:09.934 Is that a problem? 01:17:09.974 --> 01:17:10.534 It doesn't matter! 01:17:10.554 --> 01:17:10.815 Text! 01:17:13.083 --> 01:17:15.085 Here's one from Gina and this is very nice. 01:17:15.605 --> 01:17:21.550 She says my rather pathetic way of sticking it to the man relates to the pay and display business of car parks. 01:17:21.831 --> 01:17:22.451 I hate them. 01:17:22.731 --> 01:17:27.215 You don't know how long you're going to be and so inevitably you overpay. 01:17:27.616 --> 01:17:29.557 A recent example of this is when I went to St. 01:17:29.758 --> 01:17:29.998 Ives. 01:17:30.038 --> 01:17:31.799 The car park was very expensive. 01:17:31.839 --> 01:17:36.003 We arrived mid-morning and had to pay a huge amount for a ticket that lasted until 8 p.m. 01:17:36.403 --> 01:17:38.145 even though we knew we wouldn't be there that long. 01:17:38.465 --> 01:17:45.611 So when we left around 3pm, I made sure to give the ticket to someone who was arriving so the man wouldn't get another fee. 01:17:46.032 --> 01:17:46.772 Take that, man! 01:17:47.753 --> 01:17:48.694 I always do this. 01:17:48.814 --> 01:17:49.515 Thanks, Gina. 01:17:49.875 --> 01:17:50.616 I do that too. 01:17:50.796 --> 01:17:52.597 And that is very satisfying, isn't it? 01:17:52.617 --> 01:17:53.218 It is nice. 01:17:53.298 --> 01:17:54.379 In your face, man! 01:17:54.679 --> 01:17:56.480 I did it at a hospital recently. 01:17:56.940 --> 01:17:59.560 Because hospital car parks, you invariably have to buy one of those things. 01:17:59.581 --> 01:18:02.621 You think, oh no, and you're buying, spending loads of money on it. 01:18:02.761 --> 01:18:05.562 Especially at hospital, it's rather nice to say, hey, hey, here, have this. 01:18:06.062 --> 01:18:08.243 And they've got another, you know, two hours on it. 01:18:08.503 --> 01:18:13.785 Hi, I'm Jesus, and I've got extra time on my car park. 01:18:13.805 --> 01:18:14.925 I was wondering if you'd like it. 01:18:15.405 --> 01:18:20.667 The awful thing is if you've got a number of people to choose, and you start selecting on their appearance, 01:18:21.467 --> 01:18:22.488 Do you know what I mean? 01:18:22.508 --> 01:18:24.809 You're sort of looking around thinking, well, I could give this to anyone. 01:18:24.829 --> 01:18:25.909 They don't look like they deserve it. 01:18:25.929 --> 01:18:26.750 They don't deserve it. 01:18:26.810 --> 01:18:28.891 They're not, you know, they're just not down enough. 01:18:28.971 --> 01:18:30.051 Yeah, that's absolutely true. 01:18:30.091 --> 01:18:31.572 They don't look troubled by this enough. 01:18:31.912 --> 01:18:35.894 It was nothing for them to buy a ticket, but those guys over there, I could make a difference. 01:18:36.014 --> 01:18:37.495 That guy's rich. 01:18:37.535 --> 01:18:38.195 He doesn't deserve it. 01:18:38.476 --> 01:18:47.220 I know I do that sometimes when I'm getting off the tube, if I've bought a travel pass, like a day travel pass, and I know that I've done my last journey, I look around at the other end and think, no, 01:18:47.580 --> 01:18:49.380 Whose day am I going to make? 01:18:49.940 --> 01:18:51.221 It's like the secret millionaire. 01:18:51.261 --> 01:18:51.501 St. 01:18:51.621 --> 01:18:58.042 Buculli's is going to bestow upon someone one of the greatest gifts that they have ever received in their pathetic lives. 01:18:58.462 --> 01:19:03.343 A day travel pass to take them whenever they want within most of the zones of the London Tubal system. 01:19:04.724 --> 01:19:16.526 And usually I go and I try and be counterintuitive like I'm aware of the fact that I'm screening out students and rich looking people and I'm trying to go for offbeat people and then I think no come on 01:19:16.986 --> 01:19:20.269 The students and the Richos, sometimes they need a break too. 01:19:20.349 --> 01:19:23.292 Yeah, but you don't want to give it to someone in a group, because then you've isolated them. 01:19:23.312 --> 01:19:23.812 Exactly. 01:19:23.832 --> 01:19:25.114 You've made them the favourite. 01:19:25.334 --> 01:19:26.535 And then you've ruined everything. 01:19:26.555 --> 01:19:32.981 But then the thing that happens sometimes is, what I do is I'm thinking about it so much that I hang around for way too long and I start looking creepy. 01:19:33.341 --> 01:19:38.626 And I look like someone who wants to sell their ticket, because that's the other thing you get is people saying, hey, do you want to buy a ticket? 01:19:39.026 --> 01:19:39.467 No, not really. 01:19:39.847 --> 01:19:40.388 I'll buy my own. 01:19:41.088 --> 01:19:43.549 Um, so people think I'm going to charge them. 01:19:43.569 --> 01:19:46.130 So you go up to someone and you say, Hey, hi, I'm St. 01:19:46.150 --> 01:19:46.590 Buckles. 01:19:46.610 --> 01:19:48.111 Would you like my day travel pass? 01:19:48.131 --> 01:19:50.172 And then, well, now I'm just going to buy one. 01:19:50.192 --> 01:19:50.392 Thanks. 01:19:50.492 --> 01:19:51.672 No, no, I'm giving it to you. 01:19:51.692 --> 01:19:51.912 I'm St. 01:19:51.932 --> 01:19:52.392 Buckles. 01:19:53.293 --> 01:19:54.353 My hairy smiley face. 01:19:55.394 --> 01:19:57.734 And they don't wear these sandals for nothing. 01:19:57.814 --> 01:20:00.776 And you very seldom get the kind of response that you're imagining. 01:20:00.836 --> 01:20:02.556 Like, you know, the arms being thrown around. 01:20:02.656 --> 01:20:03.877 Thank you so much. 01:20:03.917 --> 01:20:04.477 That's the kind 01:20:06.519 --> 01:20:26.937 most people are like you're weird exactly I'll take it you weirdo thank you very much you out of my face for that one there Gina I very much strongly agree with your whole approach here's one from Ed from Birmingham he says hi Adam hi Garth when I was a teenager me and my friends would always go to a supermarket cafe after school to hang out with 01:20:26.937 --> 01:20:29.480 We were quite sophisticated, and would always have a cup of tea. 01:20:29.760 --> 01:20:38.410 We discovered, though, that if we ordered a pot of tea for one, and a pot of hot water, we could make the pot of tea for one stretch between two, thus only paying for one! 01:20:38.691 --> 01:20:39.091 Ahaha! 01:20:39.251 --> 01:20:40.032 In your face, man! 01:20:40.993 --> 01:20:42.135 We eventually got rumbled. 01:20:43.116 --> 01:20:47.799 Because we eventually got rumbled and it brought an end to our little after-school gatherings. 01:20:47.839 --> 01:20:52.723 I still look back on that period as one of the best in my life, says Ed from Birmingham. 01:20:52.743 --> 01:20:54.744 That sounds like the best time of anyone's life. 01:20:54.784 --> 01:20:56.546 And he was sticking it to the tea man. 01:20:56.666 --> 01:21:00.689 But in a way he was paying a price because it was getting quite weak, that tea, by the end of it. 01:21:00.709 --> 01:21:01.349 Well, exactly. 01:21:01.409 --> 01:21:04.952 You just end up, like, sticking it to the man and drinking rubbish tea. 01:21:05.472 --> 01:21:07.014 So, how was that good? 01:21:08.154 --> 01:21:14.858 OK, right now I think we're going to move on and play a little stuff... OK, I'm going to start that sentence again. 01:21:14.898 --> 01:21:17.000 Not happy with that sentence, listeners, I'm starting again. 01:21:17.020 --> 01:21:17.880 Just press the undo button. 01:21:19.101 --> 01:21:25.145 OK, right now it's time for a little bit of fun that our guest Galf Jennings has brought in this week. 01:21:25.185 --> 01:21:25.825 Galf, tell us about this. 01:21:27.766 --> 01:21:29.447 Sorry, you can't set it up like that. 01:21:29.487 --> 01:21:29.987 I'll lose it. 01:21:30.407 --> 01:21:46.534 Okay, years ago, when I first came in, stood in for Joe, we both agreed to make pirate radio interruptions based on the whole idea that when you drive around town, you often get your FM broadcast interrupted by the local pirate radio stations. 01:21:46.674 --> 01:21:48.555 And they're quite fun. 01:21:49.075 --> 01:21:52.857 And we talked about making some more and you haven't. 01:21:53.337 --> 01:21:53.958 No, I'm sorry. 01:21:54.378 --> 01:21:58.061 But I managed to make a few more this week with a couple of new ones as well. 01:21:58.461 --> 01:22:02.864 There's also some cab, local cab company interruptions. 01:22:03.104 --> 01:22:07.748 So they're peppered throughout this next track, which is Take Me With You by Prince. 01:22:08.288 --> 01:22:11.470 I'm sorry, Prince fans, but I hope the rest of you enjoy these interruptions. 01:22:14.012 --> 01:22:17.795 We're gonna drop the new one from DJ Sprocka. 01:22:18.095 --> 01:22:18.816 Here it is. 01:22:18.916 --> 01:22:19.436 Drop it! 01:22:25.442 --> 01:22:26.263 What's that? 01:22:26.983 --> 01:22:30.026 I don't like that. 01:22:30.786 --> 01:22:34.089 We're coming to you live from my nan's greenhouse. 01:22:34.590 --> 01:22:36.611 Sorry about the strawberries getting squashed nan. 01:22:40.955 --> 01:22:43.677 Pub for Dave, picking up from Lainstow. 01:22:44.498 --> 01:22:46.640 Going to Shepherds Bush. 01:22:50.086 --> 01:22:53.247 If anyone's going near the chip shop, can they pick me up a satellite? 01:22:56.288 --> 01:23:01.090 Picking up 15 people from the King's Head and taking them to the hospital. 01:23:05.051 --> 01:23:10.153 Passenger name Cameron going to the planet Pandora. 01:23:14.555 --> 01:23:15.215 Got it fixed. 01:23:15.896 --> 01:23:17.998 On my phone right now is it from here? 01:23:18.658 --> 01:23:19.839 It's Richard. 01:23:20.239 --> 01:23:23.521 It's a picture of his feet. 01:23:26.083 --> 01:23:28.025 Why won't anyone return my calls? 01:23:29.486 --> 01:23:29.886 Anyone? 01:23:31.727 --> 01:23:32.668 I'm so lonely. 01:23:34.209 --> 01:23:35.890 And this room smells of fish. 01:23:36.210 --> 01:23:40.393 There's quite a lot of interference on that one. 01:23:40.954 --> 01:23:42.755 Yeah, sorry about that interference there folks. 01:23:43.587 --> 01:23:51.215 picking up a local cab company isn't it yeah okay now I think we're gonna have a bit a few more traveling tales right let's have a jingle again James 01:24:02.276 --> 01:24:06.017 And in this section we're going to be dealing with conductors. 01:24:07.198 --> 01:24:09.618 People, you know, the people on the trains that do the talking. 01:24:10.479 --> 01:24:13.580 Are they the drivers or are they the ticket collectors that do the talking? 01:24:13.640 --> 01:24:15.680 I think it's the people that collect the tickets generally, isn't it? 01:24:16.160 --> 01:24:17.801 The conductors, they would be called. 01:24:18.576 --> 01:24:27.787 Anyway, also the phenomenon of people on planes as well, who like to do a bit of patter when they're giving the instructions at the beginning of the flight. 01:24:27.988 --> 01:24:29.169 I don't like any patter. 01:24:29.770 --> 01:24:30.090 No. 01:24:30.210 --> 01:24:33.795 Did you ever hear the American flight attendant doing his rapping? 01:24:34.706 --> 01:24:35.927 Oh, yes, I heard about that, yeah. 01:24:36.047 --> 01:24:37.208 It's a couple of years ago. 01:24:37.528 --> 01:24:39.210 David Holmes, his name was. 01:24:39.290 --> 01:24:47.415 He became a YouTube sensation in 2009 after someone filmed him wrapping his welcome aboard spiel on the plane. 01:24:47.716 --> 01:24:54.701 I'd never seen that before, but let's see, Martin, aged 22, says, Hey, Count Buckules and Monsieur Cornballs and Dr. Jennings. 01:24:55.001 --> 01:24:57.363 Been listening for a few years now, first time writing in. 01:24:57.703 --> 01:25:01.966 This is not my own traveling tale, but thought you might like this amazing airline stew- steward. 01:25:02.006 --> 01:25:03.247 I'm now tempted to try 01:25:03.627 --> 01:25:05.028 and travel on their airline. 01:25:05.088 --> 01:25:08.530 So he absolutely loves this Martin age 22. 01:25:09.111 --> 01:25:11.872 But Dr. Buckles would be a tiny bit more grumpy about this kind of thing. 01:25:11.933 --> 01:25:15.255 Here's a clip of David Holmes in action has to be said though, he's pretty good. 01:25:15.295 --> 01:25:17.856 Like at first you think don't wrap, please don't wrap. 01:25:18.197 --> 01:25:21.979 And he's getting all the passengers to join in and do the beat for him and everything. 01:25:22.700 --> 01:25:24.461 And when you're watching the video, you think please, please 01:25:24.961 --> 01:25:25.782 Please don't do that. 01:25:25.842 --> 01:25:28.583 Yeah, but actually he he does a decent job of it. 01:25:28.623 --> 01:25:44.671 Here's a bit of him All I need you to do is stop and clap and I'm gonna do the rest cuz I just I've had five flights today And I just cannot do the regular boring announcement again. 01:25:44.691 --> 01:25:47.573 Otherwise, I'm gonna put myself to sleep So you guys with me? 01:25:48.508 --> 01:25:51.909 All right, so give me a stomp, clap, stomp, clap. 01:25:51.929 --> 01:25:54.450 Come on, stomp, clap, stomp, clap. 01:25:54.470 --> 01:25:55.191 Stay on beat there. 01:25:55.651 --> 01:25:56.331 There you go. 01:25:56.391 --> 01:25:57.131 Keep that going. 01:25:57.732 --> 01:26:01.373 This is flight 372 on SWA. 01:26:01.673 --> 01:26:03.714 The flight attendants on board serving you today. 01:26:03.734 --> 01:26:06.055 Teresa in the middle, David in the back. 01:26:06.435 --> 01:26:08.335 My name is David and I'm here to tell you that. 01:26:08.636 --> 01:26:12.637 Shortly after takeoff, first things first, there's soft drinks and coffee to quench your thirst. 01:26:12.837 --> 01:26:15.258 But if you want another kind of drink, then just holler. 01:26:15.558 --> 01:26:17.499 Alcoholic beverages will be $4. 01:26:17.579 --> 01:26:20.559 If a Monster Energy drink is your plan, that'll be $3. 01:26:20.960 --> 01:26:22.020 And you get the whole can. 01:26:22.200 --> 01:26:23.220 We won't take your cash. 01:26:23.360 --> 01:26:24.481 You got to pay with plastic. 01:26:24.661 --> 01:26:29.142 Before we leave, our advice is put away your electronic devices. 01:26:29.222 --> 01:26:31.363 Fasten your seat belt, then put your trays up. 01:26:31.783 --> 01:26:59.578 button to make the seat back raise up sit back relax have a good time it's almost time to go so i'm done with the rhyme thank you for the fact that i wasn't ignored this is southwest air lines welcome aboard he's good though isn't he i can imagine that not working quite so well in england that's the thing isn't it yeah yeah well here's a little clip of um the guy on board my train oh right uh yeah back to norwich uh doing something similar 01:27:01.650 --> 01:27:04.313 Okay London to Norwich train, give me a beat. 01:27:04.853 --> 01:27:06.074 Yeah, this is fun. 01:27:06.815 --> 01:27:09.357 Hello everybody, welcome on the train. 01:27:09.597 --> 01:27:11.739 I'm your conductor, I'm clinically insane. 01:27:11.860 --> 01:27:14.122 I'm going to entertain you while you're on the train. 01:27:14.402 --> 01:27:16.604 Every single station, I'll do it all again. 01:27:16.904 --> 01:27:19.206 Please don't smoke, there's no smoking section. 01:27:19.406 --> 01:27:21.629 Please have your tickets ready for inspection. 01:27:21.809 --> 01:27:24.011 Don't use the toilets in station please. 01:27:24.231 --> 01:27:26.413 It makes the whole place smell of booze and wheeze. 01:27:26.773 --> 01:27:36.080 If you don't want no one sitting next to you, say there's someone sitting there and they've gone to the loo, or pile up your bags or pretend you're asleep, then everyone will know you're a selfish little creep. 01:27:36.120 --> 01:27:38.722 That was you, Dr. Buckles, thank you. 01:27:39.082 --> 01:27:39.723 That's superb. 01:27:39.763 --> 01:27:41.444 A little bit personal at the end there, isn't it? 01:27:41.484 --> 01:27:41.765 Oh dear. 01:27:41.825 --> 01:27:46.348 But no, on the whole, it's not a good thing, is it, when they start getting into the rapping and stuff. 01:27:46.588 --> 01:27:49.209 Anything that's over-familiar, I just don't like it. 01:27:49.229 --> 01:27:52.070 You want to keep it functional, especially on a plane. 01:27:52.270 --> 01:27:53.951 You know, it's a nervous environment. 01:27:54.011 --> 01:27:56.592 A lot of people are frightened of flying and they're nervous anyway. 01:27:56.612 --> 01:27:58.673 It's not a relaxing way to travel. 01:27:59.093 --> 01:28:03.055 And the last thing you want is some guy doing his flipping Britain's Got Talent audition for you. 01:28:03.075 --> 01:28:03.815 Yeah, exactly. 01:28:03.935 --> 01:28:04.495 You know what I mean? 01:28:04.795 --> 01:28:06.256 Because you can't all be David Holmes. 01:28:06.676 --> 01:28:06.996 All right? 01:28:07.436 --> 01:28:08.217 So stop it! 01:28:08.797 --> 01:28:09.297 Nonsense! 01:28:09.597 --> 01:28:10.077 Nonsense! 01:28:11.058 --> 01:28:11.658 Nonsense! 01:28:12.899 --> 01:28:14.319 Okay, here's some more music for you listeners. 01:28:14.459 --> 01:28:15.900 This is Friendly Fires with True Love. 01:28:16.787 --> 01:28:40.981 maybe she'd just be more lovable maybe that's your problem that's friendly fires with uh the song they just done true love was it suddenly the name of the song vanished from the computer screen as it finished folks that's it for our show today thank you very much indeed for listening Liz Kershaw is up next so please stay tuned don't forget that the podcast version of this show will be available this evening after around 6 p.m 01:28:42.122 --> 01:29:11.389 and you can hear our Song Wars songs again they're also available on the blog bbc.co.uk slash blog slash adam and joe you can vote by email email only please for the song wars voting and just put vote adam or vote garth you don't need to put a message in there uh just put vote adam or vote garth in the headings there for our song wars songs the voting closes at 11 pm on friday the 27th just before our next program we'll be back at the same time of course next week and joe will be back in the seat but garth 01:29:11.869 --> 01:29:13.872 Jennings, thank you very much. 01:29:13.972 --> 01:29:15.314 Thanks for having me everybody. 01:29:15.554 --> 01:29:16.816 It's really nice to see you again. 01:29:16.856 --> 01:29:26.669 Lovely to have been here and thanks for your hard work and your jingles and your jungles and your interruptions and your song or stuff and best of luck with everything and we hope to see you soon. 01:29:26.689 --> 01:29:28.151 Take care listeners is the stones.