WEBVTT 00:16.204 --> 00:42.946 oh dear are you all right boys do cry oh that's a clever thing to say you've contradicted the name of the song do you remember when we first time in recorded history uh do you remember when we were at a party man when we were young have we been to a party yeah when we were young people when we were like 16 or 15 and uh there was a fellow in the corner our friend tony stoddart you remember him sure and we were playing that album the cure 00:43.086 --> 00:43.826 boys don't cry. 00:43.866 --> 00:46.828 And after that track, he just said, boys do cry, you know? 00:47.588 --> 00:49.709 And then he went off and had some Malibu. 00:49.749 --> 00:52.350 Yeah, it was sincerely, he was dropping a little emotion bomb. 00:52.370 --> 00:54.711 Maybe he was the first person to do that, to say that. 00:54.891 --> 00:55.411 I think he was. 00:55.651 --> 00:57.512 He was upset because no one was snogging him. 00:58.172 --> 00:59.253 Well, that's always upsetting. 00:59.293 --> 01:00.593 No one's snogging me right now. 01:00.653 --> 01:01.714 And I'm on the verge of tears. 01:01.794 --> 01:02.114 Yeah. 01:02.834 --> 01:04.335 I mean, I was snogging so many people. 01:04.355 --> 01:05.935 I, first of all, I didn't even hear him. 01:06.496 --> 01:08.396 And then you were, you were a player. 01:08.877 --> 01:09.237 Certainly. 01:09.257 --> 01:11.378 You certainly was in your big loon pants. 01:12.658 --> 01:13.779 And your enormous hat. 01:14.739 --> 01:17.381 If you want to know the name of this player, it's Adam Buxton. 01:17.421 --> 01:18.001 How you doing? 01:18.061 --> 01:18.801 How you doing, listeners? 01:18.821 --> 01:19.802 My name's Joe Cornish. 01:19.862 --> 01:21.943 It's Saturday morning here on BBC 6 Music. 01:22.003 --> 01:23.904 It's beautiful here in London. 01:24.584 --> 01:29.047 It might not be beautiful where you are, but it's certainly beautiful here on 6 Music. 01:29.327 --> 01:31.808 And if it's not beautiful where you are, in your face! 01:32.608 --> 01:33.329 That's not very nice. 01:33.389 --> 01:34.429 No, that's not on. 01:34.689 --> 01:35.910 We've got all sorts of stuff coming up. 01:35.930 --> 01:40.092 We've got a Black Squadron command, so we should launch the jingle, or are we going to have a record first? 01:40.112 --> 01:40.813 Let's have a jingle. 01:40.893 --> 01:41.173 Come on. 01:45.254 --> 01:47.675 Always catch the beginning of the show. 01:48.135 --> 01:50.235 Black squadron don't want to miss a thing. 01:50.515 --> 01:51.496 That's not the way. 01:51.556 --> 01:52.736 Black squadron roll. 01:52.776 --> 01:56.257 Black squadron! 01:56.297 --> 01:58.438 Went to bed at a reasonable hour. 01:58.798 --> 02:01.398 Gotta be sharp on Saturday morning. 02:01.738 --> 02:03.939 That's the secret of the squadron. 02:07.731 --> 02:15.714 Yes, Black Squadron are the elite listening force that listen to the Adam and Joe show here on 6music live between 10 and 11 in the morning. 02:15.754 --> 02:17.835 I'm glad you say elite rather than elite. 02:18.875 --> 02:21.216 Do people say elite a lot? 02:21.836 --> 02:24.998 Remember, none of what you're hearing now will be included in the podcast. 02:25.018 --> 02:27.379 This is exclusively for live listeners. 02:27.639 --> 02:28.179 Yeah, exactly. 02:28.619 --> 02:29.460 They're the creme de la creme. 02:29.480 --> 02:30.781 It's a special section. 02:30.841 --> 02:32.542 It's been roped off from the rest of the show. 02:32.682 --> 02:37.425 And by now, you know, longer term members of Black Squadron will be feeling the physical benefits. 02:37.925 --> 02:38.546 Sure. 02:38.626 --> 02:40.627 They will have more toned bodies. 02:40.967 --> 02:42.408 They will have eggs in their pockets. 02:42.729 --> 02:44.950 They will have bacon jewellery. 02:45.150 --> 02:45.751 That's right. 02:46.551 --> 02:53.696 And they really have started to reach a new plateau of existence, a mental acuity, a physical perfection. 02:53.716 --> 02:58.359 If someone randomly says to them, get in the bin, they'll be in the bin before anyone else. 02:59.039 --> 03:03.623 Members of Black Squadron who've been there since the beginning should be noticing changes in their life as a whole now. 03:03.683 --> 03:07.046 More success, a bit more money in the bank, success in love. 03:07.807 --> 03:11.690 Exactly, after they went out into the street wearing only their underwear that time. 03:12.590 --> 03:15.453 Things should be improving on every front for Black Squadron. 03:15.473 --> 03:17.714 So here is your command this week now. 03:18.195 --> 03:22.078 This command includes a word that has to be listened to very carefully. 03:22.698 --> 03:26.722 So I'm going to spell it and I'm going to enunciate it very clearly. 03:27.842 --> 03:29.283 It's a fairly safe command. 03:30.403 --> 03:33.884 If you get any in your eyes, simply wash it out with warm water. 03:35.085 --> 03:36.345 Stand by Black Squadron. 03:37.125 --> 03:39.186 Here comes your command. 03:39.766 --> 03:43.448 Oh, let me remind new members to the squadron what you have to do. 03:43.468 --> 03:45.188 We're going to give you a command. 03:45.208 --> 03:55.312 You have to take a photo of yourself executing or interpreting that command, and then you send it to us here at the Adam and Joe show via email, adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk. 03:56.392 --> 04:06.219 or via text 64046 and remember all photos that we receive or at least the ones that do it best will appear on our gallery. 04:06.240 --> 04:08.381 You know last week we had 450 entries? 04:08.581 --> 04:08.942 No. 04:09.062 --> 04:10.363 The highest number ever. 04:10.583 --> 04:10.923 That's amazing. 04:10.943 --> 04:11.964 It nearly crashed the blog. 04:12.524 --> 04:14.406 Crashed the blog, that's amazing. 04:14.426 --> 04:15.086 I know. 04:15.106 --> 04:16.107 So here's the command, are you ready? 04:16.227 --> 04:16.587 Yeah, go on. 04:16.887 --> 04:20.250 The command this week is FOAM. 04:20.670 --> 04:21.571 Foam face! 04:21.971 --> 04:22.532 Foam face! 04:23.846 --> 04:35.818 Now, Black Squadron, your command was foam face with an M. But, you know, we've got some very sweet pictures of foamy babies, but a lot of people take photos like this anyway and might have them in storage. 04:36.258 --> 04:36.819 Oh, come on. 04:37.279 --> 04:38.260 Is that too harsh? 04:38.360 --> 04:39.481 That's way too harsh. 04:39.541 --> 04:39.802 Is it? 04:39.962 --> 04:40.903 That is a good picture. 04:40.923 --> 04:42.845 There's a foamy baby there with a funny expression on his face. 04:42.865 --> 04:43.966 I bet that wasn't taken this morning, though. 04:44.306 --> 04:45.227 I bet that's in the file. 04:45.487 --> 04:46.128 Well, ask them. 04:46.488 --> 04:47.590 But that is a peach. 04:47.650 --> 04:48.431 An absolute smash. 04:48.471 --> 04:49.412 He's got sort of chops. 04:49.693 --> 04:54.579 He's got like a big white head of foamy hair with big mutton chop sideburns. 04:54.719 --> 04:55.440 Who does he look like? 04:55.640 --> 04:58.724 He looks like a cross between... What's his name from Heidi Heye? 04:58.744 --> 04:59.966 The big guy from Heidi Heye. 05:00.006 --> 05:00.547 What was he called? 05:00.627 --> 05:01.268 Uh, McShane. 05:01.468 --> 05:02.109 Paul McShane. 05:02.129 --> 05:02.830 Paul McShane, yeah. 05:02.870 --> 05:03.490 That's who he looks like. 05:04.251 --> 05:05.573 or Mike McShane or Ian. 05:05.773 --> 05:06.734 There's so many McShanes. 05:07.414 --> 05:10.417 Keep those foamy faces coming in while the command is still active. 05:10.497 --> 05:17.144 James, our producer, was just complaining it was a little warm in the studio and it was, you know, it suddenly occurred to me and I turned it down. 05:17.384 --> 05:17.624 It was a 24. 05:19.306 --> 05:20.747 That's way too warm! 05:20.787 --> 05:22.749 What's your ideal temperature in a room? 05:23.029 --> 05:26.672 I don't know, I still get confused between centigrade and Fahrenheit, to be honest. 05:27.873 --> 05:30.255 Like, I'm confused right now. 05:30.635 --> 05:31.896 I can't even finish that sentence. 05:32.497 --> 05:34.418 24 degrees C, I think we're looking at, aren't we? 05:34.638 --> 05:36.440 In room temperature, right? 05:37.180 --> 05:37.461 James? 05:38.141 --> 05:38.962 Are you less thick than us? 05:40.663 --> 05:43.486 But the thing is, weren't we born when it was switched around? 05:43.647 --> 05:44.227 Switcheroo? 05:44.367 --> 05:48.192 So I've stayed in a state of complete confusion about that. 05:48.252 --> 05:48.853 Yeah, same here. 05:50.374 --> 05:55.340 But, you know, it's weird that in the modern times you're aware of what your ideal room temperature is. 05:55.420 --> 05:57.002 That wasn't the case when we were youngsters. 05:57.022 --> 06:00.086 There were no, like, you know... Because you're air conditioning obsessed. 06:00.686 --> 06:01.427 I am a little bit. 06:01.587 --> 06:02.387 I like it cold. 06:02.647 --> 06:03.448 I really like it cold. 06:03.468 --> 06:03.988 I like it cold. 06:04.228 --> 06:10.432 My ideal temperature... It's like that question whether you would, this is morbid, but whether you would be cremated or buried. 06:10.652 --> 06:11.733 I had that conversation the other day. 06:11.753 --> 06:15.135 Or whether you would prefer to die of freezing or hot-tings. 06:15.395 --> 06:16.836 Or hot-tings. 06:16.916 --> 06:17.957 It's toasties. 06:18.017 --> 06:18.557 Toastings. 06:18.597 --> 06:19.838 It's a tough one to figure out. 06:20.178 --> 06:21.639 It's almost as if it's a stupid question. 06:22.599 --> 06:23.380 Everyone talks about it though. 06:23.700 --> 06:25.461 I'd definitely go for the, for the frugals. 06:25.582 --> 06:30.005 I mean, you'd say that until you're out there and... Yeah, but you see some of those frugal films. 06:30.425 --> 06:30.805 Yeah. 06:30.925 --> 06:32.066 You check out the frugal flicks. 06:32.767 --> 06:37.590 They're not very, but then the, the, the Bernie ones aren't so good either. 06:37.850 --> 06:38.131 No. 06:38.491 --> 06:38.731 No. 06:38.911 --> 06:41.433 I think a combination of the two just warmed to death. 06:42.073 --> 06:43.094 I'd like to be bored to death. 06:43.515 --> 06:43.775 Really? 06:43.815 --> 06:46.136 Well, you're tuned to the right show. 06:47.418 --> 06:50.382 Here's a little free play for you right now, listeners. 06:50.542 --> 06:51.984 What's a free play, Joe? 06:52.605 --> 06:56.730 Free play is a record chosen by either Adam or I especially. 06:57.451 --> 06:58.373 I ain't got none this week. 06:58.533 --> 06:58.953 Have you not? 06:59.053 --> 06:59.835 Nah, I ain't got none. 06:59.895 --> 07:01.957 Why would you waste your free plays like that? 07:01.997 --> 07:02.398 I don't know. 07:02.518 --> 07:03.779 I'm banking them up. 07:03.839 --> 07:06.680 I didn't have any last week, so now I've got nine in the bank. 07:06.940 --> 07:09.601 So if I drop it for another couple of weeks, I'm going to get to programme a whole show. 07:09.781 --> 07:10.962 That's not how it works. 07:11.122 --> 07:11.302 What? 07:11.922 --> 07:18.145 This popped up on my MP3 player this week, and I'd only ever heard the Pretenders version of this. 07:18.165 --> 07:20.165 I'm talking about I go to sleep by the case. 07:20.466 --> 07:24.727 And this is the, I assume this is the original, but it's so stripped down. 07:24.827 --> 07:25.788 It sounds like a demo. 07:25.808 --> 07:26.328 It's probably not. 07:26.388 --> 07:28.569 I mean, that was you presenting a fact, wasn't it? 07:29.309 --> 07:31.431 So it's probably not correct. 07:31.651 --> 07:41.597 But it does sound like a demo because it's so stripped down and also at one point he seems to almost fluff one of the lines at the top but it's beautiful and so minimal. 07:41.917 --> 07:43.898 This is The Kinks and I Go to Sleep. 07:45.999 --> 07:47.200 Why would you want to freeze rock? 07:48.140 --> 07:50.282 That's the song sung in Shaun of the Dead of course. 07:50.462 --> 07:51.663 Always reminds me of Shaun of the Dead now. 07:51.723 --> 07:52.403 Yes that's right. 07:52.808 --> 07:54.410 Oh, and Nick and Simon, they're outside the pub. 07:55.151 --> 07:56.492 Yeah, but why would you want to freeze? 07:56.932 --> 07:58.754 Because it's exciting, it's robotics, it's robotics. 07:59.035 --> 08:02.859 And they're two very extreme contrasting actions to freeze and then to rock. 08:02.939 --> 08:05.562 One is extreme movement, the other is very, very frozen. 08:05.582 --> 08:07.704 I'm thinking of like popping a stick of rock in the freezer. 08:08.004 --> 08:08.485 Oh, I see. 08:08.785 --> 08:09.505 Why would you want to do that? 08:09.926 --> 08:12.688 What, a stick of a stick of rock like Brighton? 08:12.928 --> 08:15.890 It's very tasty cold. 08:15.950 --> 08:20.414 A lot of, I mean, confectionary companies tried to push the idea of chilling chocolate, didn't they? 08:20.434 --> 08:21.274 Do they still do that? 08:21.354 --> 08:28.680 Do you remember that summer when someone somewhere came up with, hey, why not suggest that you put your choccy bar in the fridge? 08:28.840 --> 08:31.382 That was, I remember the first time it was our friend Mark. 08:31.442 --> 08:33.083 He's a trailblazer for all those things. 08:33.123 --> 08:35.725 You know, you go around and Mark's always going to be doing the coolest thing. 08:35.765 --> 08:37.467 And Mark had his choccy in the fridge. 08:37.907 --> 08:39.848 What are you doing with a choccy in the fridge, you nutbag? 08:39.868 --> 08:42.670 Choccy's best eaten sort of room temperature, isn't it? 08:42.730 --> 08:43.050 I think so. 08:43.090 --> 08:45.471 It goes all hard and crunchy and nasty all cold. 08:45.751 --> 08:46.071 I think. 08:46.272 --> 08:46.712 It ruins the texture. 08:46.752 --> 08:48.453 It starts going white, it looks like ET after a while. 08:48.513 --> 08:49.453 Yes, it's ridiculous. 08:49.473 --> 08:50.034 When he's ill. 08:51.114 --> 08:56.857 And the other thing... That's a good idea, a chocolate ET that they just let leave to mould in the factory for a bit. 08:57.538 --> 08:59.539 It could be called, yeah, dying ET. 08:59.839 --> 09:01.740 My wife keeps the ketchup in the fridge. 09:02.180 --> 09:03.100 What is that? 09:03.240 --> 09:05.441 So does my girl lady friend. 09:05.461 --> 09:06.961 I always take it out and I stick it back on the shelf. 09:06.981 --> 09:07.941 Lots of people like chilled. 09:07.981 --> 09:09.901 Room temperature ketchup please. 09:09.961 --> 09:12.662 I don't want it like chilled. 09:12.702 --> 09:13.502 That's disgusting. 09:13.522 --> 09:16.563 Then it'll be a shock and then it'll cool the fish fingers down. 09:16.883 --> 09:17.863 Why would you want that? 09:17.943 --> 09:18.483 Cold pizza. 09:18.523 --> 09:19.443 Do you like cold pizza? 09:19.523 --> 09:19.863 I don't really. 09:19.883 --> 09:20.723 I'm not on for pizza. 09:20.783 --> 09:21.864 Oh you don't like cheese do you? 09:21.884 --> 09:22.324 I hate the cheese. 09:22.384 --> 09:23.424 I couldn't eat a cold pizza. 09:23.444 --> 09:24.104 Some people love it. 09:24.264 --> 09:24.784 Some people do. 09:24.824 --> 09:26.665 Some people like it better cold and hot. 09:26.685 --> 09:28.345 Some people have that for breakfast yo. 09:29.445 --> 09:31.167 Cold pizza for breakfast. 09:31.448 --> 09:31.848 The kids. 09:33.550 --> 09:37.094 The 17 to 25 demographic that apparently listened to this show. 09:37.354 --> 09:37.754 Nonsense! 09:37.774 --> 09:38.215 Nonsense! 09:38.275 --> 09:38.695 Nonsense! 09:38.855 --> 09:43.400 We'll be talking a little more about nonsense a bit later in the show but now we should talk about some Black Squadron photos. 09:43.420 --> 09:45.162 Your response has been incredible, Squadron. 09:45.282 --> 09:45.663 Well done. 09:45.683 --> 09:50.207 There's one from Michelle West who has made an extraordinary... I mean that looks like her hubby. 09:51.008 --> 09:51.909 I don't think it's Michelle. 09:51.949 --> 09:53.510 No, unless she's quite stubbly. 09:54.171 --> 09:58.215 But they've made an incredible sort of Marge Simpson style towering barnet. 09:58.255 --> 09:59.036 It's beautiful. 09:59.376 --> 10:00.897 I mean, the husband is in the bath. 10:01.278 --> 10:02.539 It's a very foamy bath. 10:02.599 --> 10:05.542 I'm impressed with people who can get bubble bath in bubble baths that high. 10:05.862 --> 10:07.142 What kind of foam are they using there? 10:07.162 --> 10:08.303 The consistency is extraordinary. 10:08.343 --> 10:08.723 Very bubbly. 10:08.763 --> 10:10.303 It must be GM foam or something. 10:10.323 --> 10:12.864 Maybe he's got some kind of wire structure under there to keep it up. 10:13.304 --> 10:19.626 There's another one here from Phil Campbell, who says, I've got my parents staying over, I really should not be doing this. 10:20.246 --> 10:26.668 And he's used shaving foam and he's coated his entire face, mouth, nose and hair and just left his eyes. 10:26.688 --> 10:28.948 He looks like... And he's got a very stern expression on his face. 10:29.008 --> 10:30.349 He looks like the invisible man. 10:31.609 --> 10:32.550 He looks frightening as well. 10:32.570 --> 10:35.070 What would your parents think if you turned up like that as well? 10:35.090 --> 10:37.811 You'd think, oh, he's having a breakdown. 10:37.931 --> 10:38.592 Well, that's the point. 10:38.632 --> 10:39.832 He's got his parents staying over. 10:40.572 --> 10:43.873 So maybe he's going to shave his entire face. 10:44.194 --> 10:45.054 And this is extraordinary. 10:45.114 --> 10:49.355 Ben is having a stag in Cornwall and he appears to have five friends with him. 10:49.875 --> 10:53.817 And they've also all sort of covered their faces in a thin layer of fur. 10:54.937 --> 10:58.720 It looks more like they're survivors of some sort of volcano eruption or something, doesn't it? 10:58.740 --> 11:02.663 Right, or they've just witnessed an explosion in a Gillette factory or something. 11:02.743 --> 11:06.325 And they're all pointing off camera as if something intriguing is going on. 11:06.826 --> 11:08.447 Which is always a fun thing to do. 11:08.507 --> 11:09.588 That looks like a good stag, guys! 11:09.608 --> 11:10.508 There's another textination. 11:10.608 --> 11:11.049 Bank this. 11:11.169 --> 11:12.550 Best photo poses. 11:13.290 --> 11:15.452 Best poses to do just randomly in a photo. 11:15.492 --> 11:16.052 That's a good one. 11:16.192 --> 11:18.054 Yes, pointing into the distance is one of my absolute favourites. 11:20.215 --> 11:28.937 Ryan Bayliss has sent in an extraordinary sort of terrifying photo of himself also with shaving foam, but he's got shaving foam that has a heavy consistency. 11:28.957 --> 11:30.037 It has a strong inner structure. 11:30.077 --> 11:33.257 He's able to build it out from his face in an exciting way. 11:33.418 --> 11:34.238 One eye is covered. 11:34.558 --> 11:38.558 It almost looks like whipped cream, like he stuck his face in a pie. 11:38.738 --> 11:40.839 There's a sort of myopic horror to that, isn't there? 11:41.019 --> 11:42.859 He looks like a shaving cream zombie. 11:43.319 --> 11:44.700 That's extremely powerful, Ryan. 11:44.740 --> 11:46.040 And finally, India Woods. 11:47.200 --> 12:08.652 uh is with a man friend and they've both i mean a lot of people have gone for shaving foam here they i don't know what's happening there i mean it looks like she's got some in her eyes she doesn't have that type of foam were you imagining like sea spume i thought people would get a bit of washing up liquid and foam it up in the kitchen bath and then kitchen bath kitchen sink and then put it on there are you enjoying foam in your baths 12:09.693 --> 12:13.378 I like to have a bubble bath, but as I say, I can never get it that rich or lather it. 12:13.558 --> 12:15.320 It always vanishes after about a minute. 12:15.420 --> 12:19.645 As a youngster, would you sit there and pour a lot of matey in there or other bubble baths? 12:19.685 --> 12:20.747 Your matey's a bottle of fun. 12:21.187 --> 12:25.352 He puts me in the bath, and loved by everyone, and I'm always good for a laugh. 12:26.173 --> 12:32.296 Um, other, um, bubble baths are available, but would you stick a lot in there and then churn it with your hands? 12:32.336 --> 12:32.756 Yes, yes, yes, yes. 12:32.816 --> 12:33.436 I still do that. 12:33.536 --> 12:34.757 Until it got way foamy. 12:34.877 --> 12:36.257 I have a spread finger technique. 12:36.317 --> 12:36.598 Do you? 12:36.738 --> 12:38.498 And I stay on the surface of the water. 12:38.518 --> 12:40.979 There's more friction. 12:41.079 --> 12:43.501 Combination of that and the churning. 12:43.741 --> 12:44.581 The churning. 12:44.921 --> 12:46.222 So much to talk about this morning. 12:47.202 --> 12:48.283 So many important issues. 12:48.303 --> 12:50.083 Wasn't the churning an album by Tears for Fears? 12:50.363 --> 12:50.904 Yes, it was. 12:51.104 --> 12:51.584 Okay, good. 12:51.804 --> 12:53.785 Here's the vaccines with All in White. 12:57.708 --> 12:59.909 As the vaccine's with all in white, we'd better stand down the squadron. 13:03.691 --> 13:06.472 It's 10.31 and 33 seconds, it's time for the news here on 6music. 13:06.492 --> 13:07.572 Yeah, he's a sexy man. 13:22.364 --> 13:23.866 Jack White and Meg White. 13:23.886 --> 13:24.846 That's the white stripes. 13:25.267 --> 13:25.907 My doorbell. 13:25.987 --> 13:27.629 I thought I'd say their names like I knew them. 13:28.470 --> 13:33.534 It makes it sound like you know them, and I think you're sexier and cooler because you know the white stripes. 13:33.575 --> 13:34.395 I know their names. 13:34.696 --> 13:37.158 You know the names of the white stripes. 13:37.178 --> 13:38.139 You're amazing. 13:38.459 --> 13:39.220 Jackal and Megals. 13:39.640 --> 13:45.623 So listen listeners, next week I've got to go away to Americans. 13:46.424 --> 13:47.705 But there's an upside to this. 13:47.785 --> 13:48.145 Yes. 13:48.245 --> 13:57.530 Because one of the best and most brilliant and most wonderful and most fantastic people and friends of ours and friends of this show is going to come and sit in for me. 13:57.670 --> 13:58.511 Chris Moyles! 13:58.991 --> 14:00.792 Yes, the Moyles monster. 14:01.872 --> 14:04.173 No, Garth Jennings, the amazing, wonderful Garth. 14:04.193 --> 14:09.414 And he's here on the line to set us up for his amazing deputising stint. 14:09.554 --> 14:10.035 Hey Garth. 14:10.835 --> 14:13.676 Wow, that was the best set up I've ever had in my life. 14:13.696 --> 14:14.616 How you doing, man? 14:15.396 --> 14:16.696 I'm alright. 14:16.816 --> 14:17.517 Tell us where you are. 14:17.597 --> 14:18.557 Paint a picture for us. 14:19.192 --> 14:26.897 So I paint a picture, I am standing on a beach in Cannes, and I'm out here on business. 14:26.957 --> 14:32.161 We're out here, Nick and I are here, trying to raise the financing for our next film. 14:32.641 --> 14:35.303 Nick is your producing partner, right? 14:35.683 --> 14:36.003 He is. 14:36.063 --> 14:40.346 Nick Goldsmith, producing partner, and all round good egg. 14:40.586 --> 14:44.129 And your next film is the Sexy Romp starring Russell Brand, right? 14:46.611 --> 14:50.294 I wish it was, I'd have had it financed by now. 14:50.575 --> 14:54.899 It's a sexy romp starring Dr. Buckles is the correct answer. 14:54.939 --> 15:00.864 Garth, Garth, I've got an idea for a film and I thought you and I should maybe work together on it. 15:01.645 --> 15:01.845 Yep. 15:01.965 --> 15:04.247 You know they're doing board games at the moment, that's the big thing. 15:05.048 --> 15:05.328 Yeah. 15:05.428 --> 15:07.850 And we've talked about this before but the Connect Four movie. 15:08.090 --> 15:08.391 Yes. 15:10.788 --> 15:13.872 Yeah, because... Exactly. 15:14.092 --> 15:17.796 It's a kind of bomb defusing, sort of safe cracking kind of thing. 15:18.657 --> 15:19.639 I don't know where I'm going with it. 15:19.659 --> 15:20.660 I've just got the kernel. 15:20.780 --> 15:23.563 But if there's any chance for you to negotiate the rights while you're over there. 15:23.663 --> 15:24.384 Can I play the kernel? 15:25.425 --> 15:46.446 uh hot topic it's i can see the stand for the next mission impossible thing i think they're going to do a big launch later it's just across from where i'm standing it's called ghost protocol i think yeah it looks like they're going to do a big water entrance you know someone's going to come zooming in on a boat or something have you seen any famous people have you seen any famous people out there what's it like what were they like 15:48.135 --> 16:04.021 Well I got here yesterday and I was walking down the street, Bob De Niro, Bobby De Niro, it was pretty exciting I even became one of those people that takes pictures on their camera phone yeah so far away you wouldn't even see them but I thought I had to press 16:05.522 --> 16:08.463 You should have gone up to me and said, excuse me, are you talking to me? 16:08.483 --> 16:10.063 Excuse me, are you talking to me? 16:10.303 --> 16:11.104 Are you talking to me? 16:11.624 --> 16:13.725 He would have found out so funny. 16:14.745 --> 16:16.786 That would have put me in a good, cool position. 16:17.146 --> 16:19.347 Do you think you guys will do song wars while I'm away? 16:19.687 --> 16:20.847 I think we should, don't you Garth? 16:21.668 --> 16:22.508 Yeah, I'm all for it. 16:23.422 --> 16:39.636 I mean, we're acting like we haven't discussed this already, we have, and the topic for next week's Song Wars is going to be toys and games, because Garth and I are both fathers of a number of children, and I've got ten children, Garth's got twenty-five children. 16:40.176 --> 16:42.739 Yeah, it's really a Mormon sect we've got going. 16:43.239 --> 16:43.760 That's right. 16:44.360 --> 16:45.461 Mormon wife-swapping sect. 16:48.289 --> 16:48.730 It's good fun. 16:49.170 --> 16:54.494 So we're very familiar with the world of toys and games and that's what we're going to do our songs about connect for song. 16:54.614 --> 16:57.236 I mean, that could be the title of the title track for the movie. 16:57.436 --> 16:58.697 Yeah, there you go. 16:58.817 --> 17:02.460 I definitely need some inspiration because I haven't thought of what to do yet. 17:02.941 --> 17:04.162 I haven't had chance to do it yet. 17:04.202 --> 17:07.024 So I'm gonna I'm gonna have to nip your connect for idea Joe. 17:07.404 --> 17:10.767 Well, please do I'm excited your hay fever song is one of my all time favorites. 17:12.136 --> 17:13.638 It really is, it's such a good song. 17:13.858 --> 17:14.439 It's a good one. 17:14.799 --> 17:17.262 So Garth, we're really looking forward to seeing you, I'm looking forward to seeing you. 17:17.382 --> 17:19.864 Best of luck for the rest of your Cannes trip. 17:20.285 --> 17:21.326 I had a little weird noise that I made there. 17:21.346 --> 17:25.270 I hope I can't make good news next week, I need to be bringing back some positive vibes from Cannes. 17:25.310 --> 17:26.151 Yeah, okay, good. 17:26.832 --> 17:32.218 And take lots of pictures of famous people, go and prod Robert De Niro, and we'll see you next week. 17:33.038 --> 17:33.679 Take care fellas. 17:33.699 --> 17:34.180 See you Garth! 17:35.091 --> 17:36.773 Right, lovely Garth Jennings there. 17:36.793 --> 17:39.276 He's going to be joining me while Joe is away next weekend. 17:39.636 --> 17:40.878 Right now here's some more music for you. 17:40.918 --> 17:44.081 This is, oh this has got a great video for this track actually. 17:44.102 --> 17:45.323 Have you ever seen the video for this James? 17:46.524 --> 17:51.410 By a directing team called Daniels and go and check it out online right now. 17:51.911 --> 17:54.013 And this is FM Belfast with underwear. 17:54.890 --> 17:55.190 Nice! 17:55.490 --> 17:57.612 That's FM Belfast with underwear. 17:57.732 --> 17:59.673 Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 17:59.713 --> 18:02.014 Very nice to be with you this Saturday morning, listeners. 18:02.374 --> 18:08.277 And right now, I think we're going to get into some text the nation, retro text the nation rather, but you've got a message there, don't you, Joe? 18:08.318 --> 18:08.578 We do. 18:08.598 --> 18:17.903 We've had a very excellent jingle sent in by Dan in Hackney who writes, hi Adam and Joe, I thought I'd funnel my energies into this reworked retro text the nation jingle. 18:18.403 --> 18:22.627 I made it out of bits of old songs by The Clash, Uncle and M.I.A. 18:23.067 --> 18:28.892 with my laptop and my phone and a real life jingle I heard on the radio and my voice, for which I apologise. 18:28.932 --> 18:30.734 Hope you like it, love you, bye Dan and Hackney. 18:30.814 --> 18:33.456 Also, the other week Joe mentioned he was reading a book about magicians. 18:33.476 --> 18:36.158 I love magicians too, can you tell me what it's called and who is it by? 18:36.198 --> 18:41.483 The book's by Jim Steinmayer and it's called, it's about Houdini versus Thurston. 18:42.423 --> 18:42.864 It's very good. 18:43.144 --> 18:45.866 Anyway, here is the jingle by Dan and Hackney. 18:45.886 --> 18:46.427 Check this out. 18:49.440 --> 19:09.331 I used to listen to Adam and Joe But I listened to the podcast, not the live show I used to feel acute frustration Because I couldn't join in with textination But now my troubles have disappeared Because retro-textination's here And now my letter might be read out Instead of throwing up in the forgotten around 19:20.743 --> 19:21.384 Nice job. 19:21.684 --> 19:24.066 And he's got rid of the gunshots there, which I prefer. 19:24.307 --> 19:26.309 Yes, they're very bad. 19:26.809 --> 19:27.710 That was terrific, Dan. 19:27.730 --> 19:28.471 Thank you very much. 19:29.031 --> 19:35.958 And last week's text the nation subject was it was the first time we've ever returned to a subject because it was so powerful. 19:36.619 --> 19:43.446 And we might come back to it again, because it's one of my favorites public pretending things you do little fantasy charades you do in public. 19:44.026 --> 19:46.268 to maybe cover up for something. 19:46.288 --> 19:47.249 We'll give you some examples. 19:47.390 --> 19:48.751 Here's a little example right now. 19:49.331 --> 19:50.713 This is from Dave Stewart. 19:52.768 --> 19:53.468 I know it is. 19:53.489 --> 19:56.170 I went to his house once, you know. 19:56.470 --> 19:57.391 We both did, do you remember? 19:57.451 --> 19:57.791 Did we? 19:58.151 --> 19:59.252 So we did, we were together. 19:59.472 --> 20:00.873 We were, right, do you remember what we were doing? 20:00.893 --> 20:02.934 Yeah, I do remember what we were doing, but let's not talk about it. 20:02.954 --> 20:03.375 Alright then. 20:03.775 --> 20:05.936 Dear Adam and Joseph, let me get straight to the point. 20:06.177 --> 20:19.325 If I happen to be in the vicinity of a helmeted security man collecting money from banks etc, I make sure they see me conspicuously checking my watch in an attempt to make them think I'm logging their schedule for some kind of future heist. 20:20.045 --> 20:20.266 What? 20:21.546 --> 20:22.547 I don't think they care. 20:22.947 --> 20:23.928 Thanks, says Dave Stewart. 20:24.128 --> 20:25.689 So he likes to deliberately freak out. 20:25.850 --> 20:28.091 I get scared whenever that happens. 20:28.131 --> 20:32.134 And whenever I go to the bank, they seem to be picking up or dropping off a big box of money. 20:32.574 --> 20:37.998 And I get terrified because I'm convinced masked gunmen are going to pop out from around a corner at any moment. 20:38.018 --> 20:39.039 It's just a massive danger zone. 20:39.059 --> 20:42.121 And then I'm going to get involved and have to be a have-a-go hero. 20:42.221 --> 20:42.822 You shouldn't really... 20:43.302 --> 20:43.903 You definitely would. 20:44.104 --> 20:46.508 You shouldn't really freak out security guys like that. 20:46.528 --> 20:48.132 It's like in airports you can go to jail for that kind of thing. 20:48.152 --> 20:49.214 No, that's irresponsible. 20:49.555 --> 20:50.236 Irresponsible. 20:50.356 --> 20:51.198 Nonsense, nonsense. 20:51.218 --> 20:51.559 Bad, bad, bad. 20:51.859 --> 20:53.502 Irresponsible, irresponsible, irresponsible! 20:54.229 --> 20:56.891 Here is one from Oz Squadron. 20:56.911 --> 20:59.674 Oh mate, I forgot to read this out in the correct accent. 20:59.714 --> 21:00.395 I'm so, so sorry. 21:00.415 --> 21:02.797 Oh don't worry, just carry on in the correct accent mate. 21:18.491 --> 21:28.262 I see the bus zoom past me, because being a uni student I'm usually late, so I have to burst into a full sprint to try and make it to the bus stop before it departs. 21:30.464 --> 21:32.847 This is good, I think my accent's really on it this morning. 21:34.128 --> 21:36.170 Even with my exceptional sprinting ability... 21:37.411 --> 21:39.193 I sometimes do not make it in time. 21:39.633 --> 21:49.601 In this situation, to avoid embarrassment and deflation to my ego, I continue to run past the bus stop and pretend to be an eccentric jogger doing exercises with jeans and a backpack. 21:49.621 --> 21:50.842 Good tactic, mate! 21:51.202 --> 21:56.607 Then, after five or ten minutes, I sneakily slip back to the stop and wait for the bus to come. 21:56.687 --> 21:58.528 Regards, Ishan, a mailman. 21:58.848 --> 21:59.669 Nice technique. 21:59.849 --> 22:00.650 That's good, isn't it? 22:01.070 --> 22:02.011 I'm just a jogging guy. 22:02.411 --> 22:03.271 I didn't miss that bus. 22:03.311 --> 22:04.072 I was just jogging. 22:04.412 --> 22:05.613 Yeah, yeah, I wear jeans. 22:05.673 --> 22:07.113 No, I don't wear like running stuff. 22:07.514 --> 22:09.014 That's for part-time joggers. 22:09.415 --> 22:10.595 I'm a full-time jogging man. 22:10.955 --> 22:14.097 He's a clever, clever bloke, but you can say that about most Aussies. 22:14.457 --> 22:15.398 It's true, mate. 22:15.758 --> 22:19.120 Here's one right now from Erin Kys. 22:19.560 --> 22:20.160 K-Y-S? 22:20.201 --> 22:21.001 How would you pronounce that? 22:21.161 --> 22:22.402 Dunno, I'm not the man to ask. 22:22.482 --> 22:23.322 It's terrible. 22:23.342 --> 22:23.882 It's true, isn't it? 22:24.562 --> 22:42.590 Erin Keiss is in Chatham, Ontario, Canada, and she says, dearest Adam Emnon and Jomethius, whenever I'm in a crowded public transit scenario, such as a bus or a train, and I'm forced to sit next to a stranger, my first thought is always, I wonder if this person can read minds. 22:43.551 --> 22:48.613 I then challenge myself to start thinking of very interesting and intellectual things, like Noam Chomsky. 22:49.813 --> 22:52.594 in case they can hear what I'm thinking about. 22:53.274 --> 23:00.076 As time goes on, I become increasingly worried that my neighbour is on to me, knowing I'm only pretending to be interesting in my mind. 23:00.376 --> 23:07.738 So then I think something like, I know you can hear me, I'm on an important mission, and I've been trained to protect my thoughts. 23:08.358 --> 23:15.541 This usually leads to me accidentally thinking about their underwear, or imagining them naked, and then worrying for the rest of the journey they think I'm insane or a pervert. 23:15.761 --> 23:16.081 Or both. 23:16.241 --> 23:17.041 That's incredible. 23:17.761 --> 23:20.162 That person's trying to manage their subconscious. 23:20.322 --> 23:21.163 Have you ever done that though? 23:21.243 --> 23:27.506 I've been in a situation, yeah, where I have thought in my mind very loudly about a person, right? 23:27.546 --> 23:28.586 My thoughts are very loud. 23:29.607 --> 23:32.248 To me it seems that they're so loud surely the person will hear. 23:32.808 --> 23:35.109 And then I apologise in my mind. 23:35.169 --> 23:37.450 I say, listen, if you can hear me, I'm sorry. 23:37.470 --> 23:38.231 I don't do that. 23:38.271 --> 23:38.971 This is new to me. 23:39.031 --> 23:39.511 How amazing. 23:39.531 --> 23:42.733 There's a new level of dementedness that I haven't achieved yet. 23:43.513 --> 23:45.094 That's amazing. 23:45.154 --> 23:50.315 Sometimes I think things so loudly that later in the day I can't remember whether I said it or not. 23:51.236 --> 23:54.457 But I've never actually tried to manage that. 23:54.997 --> 23:59.459 You know, I'm fairly confident that people can't read minds. 23:59.699 --> 23:59.999 Are you? 24:00.019 --> 24:03.280 It's funny because you're into a lot of other things, Sasquatch. 24:04.844 --> 24:07.587 Well, come on, there's a lot more evidence for Bigfoot's existence. 24:07.807 --> 24:09.008 Don't get me started. 24:09.248 --> 24:10.610 There's only two hours left. 24:10.930 --> 24:11.551 Have you got another one? 24:11.591 --> 24:12.151 I've got another one. 24:12.171 --> 24:12.371 Yeah. 24:12.391 --> 24:12.912 Hi, Adam and Joe. 24:13.212 --> 24:16.816 My public pretend story is thus, and this is from Rod. 24:17.576 --> 24:27.266 Sometimes when I'm shopping in a supermarket, I will look at the vegetarian food options and that is merely look at them to impress the female shop workers and shelf stackers. 24:27.586 --> 24:36.328 By pretending I'm a vegetarian, I somehow convinced myself that the female member of staff will think I'm a caring, animal-loving, fun guy, and therefore fall in love with me. 24:36.968 --> 24:40.549 If one day this plan works, I will be fully prepared to become a vegetarian. 24:40.569 --> 24:40.669 Yeah. 24:41.670 --> 24:45.170 Women prefer men who are vegetarians. 24:45.650 --> 24:46.411 Is that true? 24:46.431 --> 24:46.991 Yeah. 24:47.271 --> 24:48.011 Is it really? 24:48.211 --> 24:48.591 They do. 24:48.971 --> 24:50.012 I think real women. 24:50.032 --> 24:51.512 I don't, I've got no, I just said that. 24:51.832 --> 25:13.985 yeah got no evidence it's a sort of provocative conversation starter yeah okay well i would say that as another crass generalization women don't now in the old days in the 50s and 60s when men were men women liked men who ate meat that's right because it made them more meaty they liked uh men who had the blood of tigers dripping down from their mouths after they just run out and killed them with their mouths 25:14.566 --> 25:19.652 If women had their way in the old days, they would have just gone out with men who had no eyes or mouth. 25:19.993 --> 25:20.714 They were just meat. 25:21.294 --> 25:22.516 Solid meat men. 25:22.616 --> 25:23.257 And a big club. 25:25.720 --> 25:27.282 Yes, a mince club. 25:27.883 --> 25:30.727 Okay, here's one more from Claire Heel in London. 25:31.627 --> 25:36.290 Uh, she says, hello there, I thought you might like to hear about my most Oscar-worthy moment of public pretending. 25:36.771 --> 25:39.492 Once when I got on the bus, another lady offered me her seat. 25:39.893 --> 25:42.354 I was only going a few stops, so I refused the kind offer. 25:42.474 --> 25:44.896 She seemed quite surprised by this, saying, you sure? 25:45.556 --> 25:46.617 And looking a bit put out. 25:47.177 --> 25:51.400 Only after I'd turned her down a second time did I realize why she was so insistent. 25:51.920 --> 25:53.681 She thought I was pregnant. 25:54.302 --> 25:59.065 I was mortified, but didn't want her to know that I wasn't with child, I was just a bit fat. 25:59.725 --> 26:06.790 I thought that if she realised her social faux pas and was embarrassed too, then it would make an awkward situation even more awkward. 26:06.931 --> 26:13.856 So I spent the rest of the journey pretending to be pregnant by sticking my belly out even further and rubbing the small of my back. 26:14.276 --> 26:15.957 I think it worked, but I'm not sure. 26:16.078 --> 26:17.238 Claire Heale from London. 26:17.559 --> 26:18.619 That's nice though, isn't it? 26:18.960 --> 26:22.763 Where you would just go into a whole bit of theatre to protect someone else's feelings. 26:23.143 --> 26:23.843 That's amazing. 26:24.024 --> 26:24.684 A stranger. 26:25.124 --> 26:26.125 That's very nice, Claire. 26:26.345 --> 26:28.207 Thank you for all your messages on that subject. 26:28.567 --> 26:31.508 We're going to have a new Text-A-Nation coming up a little bit later in the show. 26:31.568 --> 26:35.230 Yeah, but right now, here's a free play for you that we slipped in at the last minute. 26:35.270 --> 26:39.452 This is a good, I mean this is your choice here Adam, but I remember the cover to this album. 26:39.712 --> 26:41.573 Am I right in saying this is by a band called Styx? 26:41.873 --> 26:43.934 Am I right in saying that album was called Reach the Beach? 26:43.974 --> 26:45.014 No, that's The Fix. 26:45.294 --> 26:45.934 Oh no! 26:46.615 --> 26:48.496 This was a whole concept album by Styx. 26:48.516 --> 26:49.076 The Fix. 26:49.236 --> 26:49.716 About Mr Roboto. 26:49.756 --> 26:50.496 Easy mistake to make. 26:50.657 --> 26:51.057 Sure it is. 26:51.097 --> 26:51.657 The Fix and Styx. 26:52.378 --> 26:54.279 I think it was an accompanying film. 26:54.299 --> 27:01.026 When I got the single of Mr. Roboto, there were stills on the back that appeared to be from some kind of film they'd made around the whole thing. 27:01.506 --> 27:04.008 I was excited, but then I heard the song. 27:04.549 --> 27:05.290 Wow! 27:06.311 --> 27:06.971 Let's hear it now. 27:07.011 --> 27:07.532 It's an epic. 27:07.792 --> 27:08.893 Styx and Mr. Roboto. 27:14.138 --> 27:15.059 It's like an opera. 27:16.543 --> 27:19.565 I believe Adam's just noticed that this song lasts for 10 minutes. 27:20.686 --> 27:21.986 I've heard it for 15 minutes. 27:22.467 --> 27:23.908 I mean it was a guilty pleasure when I was 15. 27:25.128 --> 27:27.190 Do you want to review this? 27:27.210 --> 27:29.031 I know here it's kicking in. 27:30.512 --> 27:30.952 Here we go. 27:31.072 --> 27:33.994 Here we go. 27:54.549 --> 27:57.330 What a startling and stunning piece of news for Saturday morning. 27:57.350 --> 27:58.631 He was Kilroy all along. 27:58.931 --> 27:59.792 He was Kilroy. 28:00.252 --> 28:01.973 Then he went off to the jungle with Ant & Dec. 28:02.713 --> 28:03.414 Who would have thunk it? 28:03.714 --> 28:05.055 I mean, that is a good song. 28:05.175 --> 28:05.735 I was worried. 28:05.755 --> 28:06.636 That's a very, very good song. 28:06.656 --> 28:09.497 When it started, I was worried like, oh, I haven't heard this for a while. 28:09.537 --> 28:10.438 That's a good song. 28:10.458 --> 28:11.058 It's better than I 28:11.138 --> 28:11.618 I remember. 28:12.338 --> 28:13.298 It's amazing. 28:13.498 --> 28:14.239 The middle bit. 28:14.799 --> 28:20.080 Oh, it's just amazing. 28:20.120 --> 28:24.840 Someone's texted in to say Polisics, who are a Japanese band that we had on our show. 28:24.900 --> 28:27.241 Adam and Joe go Tokyo years ago, do a cover of that. 28:27.441 --> 28:29.821 I'm sure anyone worth his salt would do a cover of that. 28:30.361 --> 28:32.762 Bob Dylan talks about it on theme time radio briefly. 28:32.782 --> 28:34.062 And that's what reminded me actually. 28:34.622 --> 28:35.222 It's a smash. 28:35.462 --> 28:37.042 Adam and Joe here on BBC six music. 28:37.402 --> 28:38.163 More music right now. 28:38.263 --> 28:40.183 This is violent femmes with blister in the sun. 28:42.174 --> 28:43.500 Not such, not such, not such! 28:45.447 --> 28:50.510 Yes, that's the Violent Femmes with Blister in the Sun, Adam and Joe, here on BBC Six Music. 28:50.871 --> 29:00.837 Now, we had a couple of people emailing us today about a show that I hadn't seen hitherto, and it was called Two Greedy Italians. 29:01.418 --> 29:01.678 Right. 29:01.818 --> 29:04.880 It's one of those shows where they team up... It's one of those shows. 29:05.841 --> 29:07.442 I've just got some carrots stuck in my windpipe. 29:07.462 --> 29:08.843 Can you cover for a second? 29:09.043 --> 29:09.283 Sure. 29:09.323 --> 29:12.225 Hi, it's Adam and Joe, BBC Six Music, coming up later on the show. 29:12.485 --> 29:14.066 Adam Buxton will be talking about... 29:15.948 --> 29:16.428 Was that okay? 29:16.568 --> 29:18.910 Yeah, it was interesting to hear what I was going to be talking about. 29:18.950 --> 29:22.714 Well, I cut it off before I had to actually, um, reveal it to something. 29:23.334 --> 29:24.615 So here's a message from Jonathan. 29:24.655 --> 29:25.716 He's a man in London. 29:26.016 --> 29:29.720 He says, imagine my, he, he calls us incidentally, dear bucks and balls. 29:30.100 --> 29:30.340 Nice. 29:31.101 --> 29:40.748 Imagine my surprise to discover her Madge, the Queen of England, co-presenting a cooking show with Antonio Carluccio on a castle programme. 29:40.848 --> 29:45.051 It's called Two Greedy Italians, which seemed odd, but close your eyes and watch it. 29:45.371 --> 29:48.613 It's fantastic to hear the Queen so engrossed in her grub. 29:48.653 --> 29:54.037 And this isn't actually Antonio right now, it is, um, what's the name of the guy again? 29:55.158 --> 29:59.081 Gennaro Contaldo is his co-presenter and here's a little clip of him in action. 29:59.528 --> 30:09.536 Here, I have this fantastic beef, with a bit of fat inside as well, a bit greasy, that is nice, big fat, which is good, and I'm gonna cut it quite rough. 30:09.756 --> 30:13.819 This particular one, you can make it with any kind, cheap cut of meat. 30:14.019 --> 30:16.121 Then, I'm gonna seal the meat. 30:17.442 --> 30:24.526 Now, let me explain the way to seal the meat, to make sure that the meat gets brown all outside. 30:24.847 --> 30:33.252 And then, when it's brown, it will actually seal outside, but slowly, slowly, when it actually cooks, release all the goodness from inside. 30:33.292 --> 30:34.433 That's amazing! 30:35.114 --> 30:37.956 It's like a cross between the Queen and Super Mario. 30:38.216 --> 30:41.258 Wow, is that... I mean, does the Queen have any Italian blood? 30:41.894 --> 30:42.715 you would think, doesn't it? 30:42.915 --> 30:46.217 Because they're doing very similar things, the way words are run into one another. 30:46.237 --> 30:50.040 I mean, he's only really bothering with the centre syllable of each word. 30:50.080 --> 30:55.384 Sure, and then it splits the word, it comes to the word, it splits the word. 30:55.504 --> 31:02.089 And then just that buoyancy, that excitement, that, you know, I mean, he's so excited about what he's saying, he's almost not bothering to say it. 31:04.071 --> 31:07.994 Let's hear a little clip again. 31:09.195 --> 31:15.501 Do you know what I'd like to hear? 31:15.882 --> 31:20.106 I'd like to hear like a scene from that show with you replacing Antonio Carluccio with the Queen. 31:20.586 --> 31:22.428 So it's the Queen co-presenting with that guy. 31:23.008 --> 31:27.613 So you could just redo Carluccio's lines in the Queen voice, and that would be astonishing. 31:28.394 --> 31:30.577 Right, I'll get to work on that for next week's show. 31:30.637 --> 31:31.197 That's amazing. 31:31.237 --> 31:32.739 Thanks to everyone who pointed that out. 31:33.180 --> 31:35.702 Someone else was Gav... Gav In Savage? 31:36.023 --> 31:37.244 Or is he called Gav Savage? 31:38.505 --> 31:39.667 Thank you very much for pointing that out. 31:39.687 --> 31:40.628 What a brilliant name, Gav Savage. 31:40.848 --> 31:41.429 Gav Sav. 31:41.989 --> 31:42.550 Gavsev! 31:42.710 --> 31:43.470 He's Savage Man! 31:43.610 --> 31:45.171 A show on six music. 31:45.492 --> 31:46.172 Gavage Savage. 31:46.613 --> 31:47.433 What kind of music would you play? 31:47.573 --> 31:48.194 Angry music! 31:48.214 --> 31:48.734 Yeah, punk. 31:48.894 --> 31:49.114 Punk! 31:49.895 --> 31:58.882 I was trying to think of other kind of shows like the, you know, Too Greedy Italians that they might be coming up with because that seems to be a never-ending source of cooking fun. 31:59.182 --> 32:00.543 Like you've got the Two Fat Ladies. 32:00.703 --> 32:01.544 The Tairy Bikers. 32:01.564 --> 32:02.604 The Hairy Bikers. 32:03.025 --> 32:05.166 I was thinking Skinbird and Yum Yums. 32:05.366 --> 32:08.569 What about something... You're not asking me about Skinbird and Yum Yums. 32:08.589 --> 32:08.769 Sorry. 32:08.789 --> 32:10.110 Skinbird and Yum Yums. 32:10.270 --> 32:11.110 Yeah. 32:11.150 --> 32:12.331 Who is Skinbird and Yum Yum? 32:12.431 --> 32:13.391 Okay, I'm glad you asked. 32:13.851 --> 32:16.192 Skinbird is a model, beautiful model. 32:16.492 --> 32:19.253 Skinbird sounds a little bit sexy. 32:19.353 --> 32:20.714 Exactly. 32:20.854 --> 32:22.414 And Yum Yums is a big fat chap. 32:23.215 --> 32:25.195 And he just will eat anything. 32:25.255 --> 32:27.676 So he's after burgers and stuff. 32:27.736 --> 32:32.618 And she has a very fine diet. 32:32.718 --> 32:33.978 She likes slimming food. 32:33.998 --> 32:35.019 She looks after her weight. 32:35.219 --> 32:35.879 That's an exciting 32:35.979 --> 32:36.960 dramatic contrast. 32:37.020 --> 32:39.842 So, you know, what kind of things will they agree on? 32:40.083 --> 32:41.164 Drama is conflict, right? 32:41.364 --> 32:43.966 And how about two toddlers hopped up on snacks? 32:45.167 --> 32:52.794 And they go round the country in pushchairs, in motorised pushchairs, very very fast, and they're just looking for stuff they find on the pavement, like old lollies. 32:52.894 --> 32:55.496 Right, old lollies and bits of junk food. 32:55.516 --> 32:56.157 That's very good. 32:56.517 --> 32:59.160 And they feed them fizzy pop and stuff and then they just go mentile. 32:59.260 --> 33:00.641 Okay, that's Text the Nation this week. 33:00.701 --> 33:01.922 New concepts for cooking shows. 33:01.942 --> 33:02.963 That isn't actually Text the Nation. 33:03.143 --> 33:03.724 Why can't it be? 33:03.824 --> 33:04.265 Can't it be? 33:04.425 --> 33:04.926 Let's make it. 33:05.406 --> 33:05.887 You've just done it. 33:05.907 --> 33:06.968 You've just launched Text the Nation. 33:06.988 --> 33:08.090 Don't you think? 33:08.150 --> 33:08.951 What do we think, James? 33:10.353 --> 33:11.315 New concepts for cooking shows? 33:11.335 --> 33:12.196 We're going to talk about this. 33:12.356 --> 33:13.758 That's not, you know, that's not official. 33:13.998 --> 33:14.399 All right then. 33:14.880 --> 33:15.941 We'll sit on that one for a while. 33:16.241 --> 33:19.646 But right now, here's Death Cab for Cutie with You're a Tourist. 33:22.250 --> 33:22.950 You're a tourist. 33:24.271 --> 33:27.053 Death Cab for Cutie, Adam and Joe here on BBC6Music. 33:27.393 --> 33:34.658 So yeah, we thought, um, you know, we kind of accidentally launched Text-A-Nation there in the last linky, so let's have the jingle, James. 33:36.920 --> 33:37.680 Text-A-Nation! 33:37.800 --> 33:38.100 Text! 33:38.160 --> 33:38.441 Text! 33:38.501 --> 33:38.861 Text! 33:38.981 --> 33:39.701 Text-A-Nation! 33:39.781 --> 33:40.742 What if I don't want to? 33:40.982 --> 33:41.743 Text-A-Nation! 33:41.803 --> 33:42.823 But I'm using email. 33:42.984 --> 33:43.724 Is that a problem? 33:43.744 --> 33:44.284 It doesn't matter! 33:44.324 --> 33:44.585 Text! 33:46.872 --> 33:52.756 And we were talking about Two Greedy Italians, which is a show with two very... Greedy Italians? 33:52.796 --> 33:55.777 Greedy Italians, with a kind of a crazy way of speaking. 33:55.797 --> 33:58.539 Let's just hear the clip one more time to show one there, James. 33:58.639 --> 34:02.141 A bit greasy, that is a nice big fat, which is called... and I'm gonna cut it. 34:02.461 --> 34:03.602 Quite rough. 34:04.723 --> 34:06.884 Quite rough inside. 34:07.024 --> 34:07.585 Oh, the beef! 34:07.905 --> 34:08.445 Oh, the beef! 34:08.485 --> 34:09.586 Oh, nice and lovely. 34:09.606 --> 34:10.386 It's lots of beef. 34:10.406 --> 34:11.367 And it's great! 34:11.427 --> 34:12.888 Loosy bit of gravy, isn't it? 34:13.854 --> 34:15.695 That's extraordinary, extraordinary. 34:16.295 --> 34:17.756 Got an interesting email here. 34:17.896 --> 34:20.137 This may be not the right time to read it out, Sarah. 34:20.297 --> 34:20.977 No, who's it from? 34:21.038 --> 34:23.018 Sarah DiMarzio. 34:23.379 --> 34:24.579 I have a comedy Italian dad. 34:24.599 --> 34:27.881 I've spent the last 39 years convinced he was putting on an accent. 34:28.021 --> 34:29.802 So the greedy Italians have vindicated him. 34:30.402 --> 34:31.122 He could be one of them. 34:31.142 --> 34:33.684 He's obsessed with mushrooms and becomes emotional about ham. 34:34.644 --> 34:35.845 This is an Italian thing. 34:36.125 --> 34:39.346 Look at the beautiful ham you've got in there. 34:39.647 --> 34:42.588 Oh, it's a nice glaze, a beautiful glaze in the ham. 34:43.048 --> 34:47.113 That's the kind of thing that happens in Sarah's house. 34:47.493 --> 34:59.867 The idea for Text the Nation is for you to send us your ideas for high concept cookery shows because there's a hell of a lot of them about the hairy bikers, the one with the todlers hopped up on snacks. 35:00.228 --> 35:01.509 Also, I had Tubby in the feeder. 35:01.669 --> 35:02.991 The title is essential, isn't it? 35:03.211 --> 35:25.634 a really compelling title tell us about tubby and the feeder i mean tubby and the feeder is a kind of lardy bloke who goes out with a skinny bird who's always giving him snacks sounds similar to lardy bloke and skinny bird it is it's based on that it's a spin-off it's a spin-off has he got the same presenters well i was thinking instead of tubby and the feeder you instead of him going out with the girl you have um tubby and mummy 35:26.255 --> 35:32.119 And so he goes around and Mummy's the one, because they do, they go, you're looking very skinny, even when you're not. 35:32.519 --> 35:33.660 And they say, you should have a cake. 35:33.700 --> 35:34.560 Look, I made you a cake. 35:35.001 --> 35:36.602 Oh, I'm trying to eat less cakes, Mum. 35:37.162 --> 35:39.604 And they say, no, you have to eat the cake, otherwise you'll waste away. 35:39.624 --> 35:42.105 You just think, what the, what are you doing, Mum? 35:42.165 --> 35:45.448 Do you want me to be unattractive to the entire... That's a lot of human drama in this program. 35:45.548 --> 35:45.688 Yeah. 35:45.708 --> 35:46.228 And that's the key. 35:46.248 --> 35:46.929 That's what you want, isn't it? 35:46.949 --> 35:47.589 That's what you want. 35:47.849 --> 35:49.210 I mean, do you ever watch these shows? 35:49.270 --> 35:51.692 I watched Hairy Bikers by accident once, and it was... 35:52.432 --> 35:53.512 I've watched Hairy Bikers. 35:53.893 --> 35:54.553 It's quite good. 35:54.713 --> 35:57.374 My lady friend likes that kind of show. 35:58.054 --> 36:01.055 There's one called Britain's Best Dish or something on at the moment. 36:01.095 --> 36:01.476 Isn't there? 36:01.596 --> 36:03.676 I don't know. 36:03.696 --> 36:04.297 The answer is no. 36:04.477 --> 36:05.997 It's not a buddy show though. 36:06.017 --> 36:06.638 I don't know what it is. 36:06.658 --> 36:09.599 We're talking specifically about, it seems to be Pears. 36:09.799 --> 36:11.219 I did watch Scare the Hair. 36:12.200 --> 36:13.880 That's a different flipping topic. 36:13.960 --> 36:14.801 I saw that as well. 36:15.521 --> 36:16.722 But listen, we'll just confuse people. 36:17.222 --> 36:22.026 So we're after your ideas for high concept cookery shows. 36:22.066 --> 36:27.331 It's all about the title and it's all about the sort of juxtaposition of crazy presenters and the task you give them, right? 36:27.451 --> 36:27.691 Yeah. 36:28.091 --> 36:29.052 You got any more? 36:30.013 --> 36:31.334 No, I peeked at skin burden. 36:31.574 --> 36:31.954 You did. 36:32.174 --> 36:33.435 It was a very high peak. 36:33.615 --> 36:34.796 Get those coming in. 36:34.836 --> 36:35.556 The text number is 64046. 36:35.716 --> 36:49.284 The email is adamandjoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk and remember if you don't think of anything brilliant now you still submit your thoughts during the week and they may appear in retro text the nation in the podcast. 36:49.484 --> 36:50.005 No, what? 36:51.027 --> 36:52.468 Yeah, no, next week in the show. 36:52.488 --> 36:53.248 Yeah, what you said. 36:53.988 --> 37:03.052 Uh, MGMT now from their album of last year, congratulations, says here on our fun fact sheet, the band once dressed for, I'll start again. 37:03.432 --> 37:07.013 The band once performed dressed as the gang from Scooby Doo. 37:07.473 --> 37:08.174 Is that a good thing? 37:08.654 --> 37:16.777 It's w w wacky w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w 37:18.254 --> 37:19.095 How do you pronounce that? 37:19.115 --> 37:20.035 Alo Blatch. 37:20.556 --> 37:20.856 Black. 37:21.216 --> 37:21.777 Alo Black. 37:22.477 --> 37:24.078 I need a dollar, that is called. 37:24.158 --> 37:24.959 Very nice stuff. 37:25.139 --> 37:31.664 Indeed, Adam Buxton here with Joe Cornish on the Big British Castle digital station number six. 37:32.325 --> 37:35.107 And very pleased to be with you this afternoon. 37:35.687 --> 37:39.050 Now we've got a sort of bumper travelling tales section. 37:39.690 --> 37:40.030 Morning. 37:40.331 --> 37:40.751 Morning. 37:40.931 --> 37:42.592 This morning it's not the afternoon yet. 37:42.632 --> 37:43.833 You said this afternoon, the morning. 37:43.853 --> 37:45.014 We haven't pushed through the noon barrier. 37:45.034 --> 37:45.975 I thought you were just saying morning. 37:46.275 --> 37:46.655 Morning. 37:46.795 --> 37:47.776 Have we not pushed through the noob? 37:47.796 --> 37:48.116 No. 37:48.436 --> 37:49.256 I hadn't heard the pop. 37:49.456 --> 37:52.898 Exactly, but you said, uh, you said... Sorry about that. 37:52.918 --> 37:54.459 We would have got a lot of letters. 37:54.639 --> 37:56.039 Let's have a Travelling Tales jingle. 38:07.108 --> 38:07.608 It's very loud. 38:07.628 --> 38:08.329 It's good. 38:08.369 --> 38:11.091 It's an aggressive, very aggressive, aggressively fun jingle. 38:11.111 --> 38:18.797 Now we're going to have a couple of Traveling Tales sections in the show today because we've got sort of two areas of Traveling Tales appearing. 38:19.297 --> 38:21.799 One just various random traveling tales. 38:21.819 --> 38:23.100 There'll be a lot of tales to tell. 38:23.380 --> 38:25.723 Oh, so many tales to tell about the travel era. 38:26.443 --> 38:29.626 And another area that is crazy train announcers, right? 38:30.047 --> 38:33.410 And this is turning into a bit of a thing with people identifying... But this is exciting. 38:33.430 --> 38:39.716 This is a really exciting development that's happened in this narrative, this story about this amazing train driver. 38:39.736 --> 38:40.737 Are you going to talk us through this? 38:41.038 --> 38:44.962 Well, we're going to listen to him in just a second, but here's another one right now. 38:45.642 --> 38:46.583 This is from Ben. 38:46.743 --> 38:48.084 He says greetings. 38:48.364 --> 39:14.343 I took this recording many years ago this fantastic train manager or conductor Always made me smile when he was on the Tannoy So I was very pleased that I managed to get him on tape apologies for the sound quality You have to wait for the end to really get the full force of his personality Bear in mind that this recording was taken during the day probably around two or three in the afternoon I believe it was the Bristol to Swansea train, but it was so long ago I can't really remember but this is Nigel the train manager in action here. 39:14.363 --> 39:14.663 He is I 39:15.117 --> 39:19.322 Hello everyone, this is Nigel, retail service manager speaking. 39:19.543 --> 39:33.480 Just to let you know that the shop is still open and we've still got those lovely hot snacks, cold snacks, hot drinks, cold drinks, crisps, nuts, sweets, headsets for the onboard entertainment, books, magazines. 39:34.358 --> 39:37.822 Playing cards, as I said on several occasions. 39:38.282 --> 39:40.444 So come on down, the price is right. 39:40.864 --> 39:43.327 Be pleased to serve you. 39:43.967 --> 39:44.648 Thank you! 39:44.668 --> 39:45.529 Night night! 39:46.630 --> 39:48.572 Hey, look at that! 39:48.592 --> 39:50.654 He gets a little chuckle there. 39:50.714 --> 39:54.157 Of course he does, he was describing almost every single item in the shop. 39:54.197 --> 39:55.699 I think he made a few up as well. 39:56.179 --> 39:57.120 Bye bye! 39:57.220 --> 39:57.821 Thank you! 39:58.161 --> 39:59.862 Night night! 39:59.902 --> 40:01.303 We did that on an old show, didn't we? 40:01.343 --> 40:03.925 Ways to say goodbye, ways to sign off. 40:04.506 --> 40:05.066 Bye! 40:06.107 --> 40:06.928 But that's a good one. 40:06.968 --> 40:09.029 I haven't quite heard it sung in that way before. 40:09.470 --> 40:09.970 Yeah, yeah. 40:10.130 --> 40:12.692 I mean, he really lifted the spirits of that train, don't you think? 40:12.972 --> 40:14.333 It sounded like a party on the train. 40:14.353 --> 40:15.034 What a great guy. 40:15.174 --> 40:23.280 But the thing is, that I should say at this point before we continue with these clips, I am someone who is naturally not that much of a fan of that kind of behaviour. 40:23.300 --> 40:23.400 Why? 40:24.141 --> 40:29.905 Because I am Grumpy, and the Grumpy man, and I like peace and quiet! 40:31.666 --> 40:33.848 So it would depend on how often he does that. 40:33.868 --> 40:36.450 I mean, basically he had... Oh, no! 40:36.530 --> 40:38.071 I've spilled my drink all over the desk. 40:38.091 --> 40:38.591 Fizzy pop spillage! 40:38.791 --> 40:40.853 Basically he had... Keep talking, keep talking. 40:40.873 --> 40:42.934 Basically he had not much to say, did he? 40:42.994 --> 40:44.375 He was saying the shop is still open. 40:44.395 --> 40:46.797 The shop's still open, and he's the manager. 40:46.817 --> 40:50.039 I can't believe it, it's fizzy coke as well and it's gone everywhere. 40:50.059 --> 40:51.560 Oh no, sticky disaster! 40:51.580 --> 40:52.781 Missed the keyboard, luckily. 40:53.301 --> 40:57.044 Well listen, let's have another clip though while the cleanup team come in. 40:57.064 --> 41:06.492 No no no, this is from Sergeant Mark Brown, Leeds Light Infantry Black Squadron, and he says, dearest Dr Buckles and head surgeon Cornballs, I'm writing to you with special news. 41:06.672 --> 41:12.477 Last Sunday evening I happened to be travelling from Peckham Rye to London Bridge, engrossed in a portable telephone conversation with a friend. 41:13.377 --> 41:16.079 I paid little attention to the announcement on boarding the train. 41:16.159 --> 41:25.064 Then, out of the corner of my ear, it dawned on me that it was the strange man slash robot that has featured in the past two shows. 41:25.484 --> 41:27.005 I aborted the telephone chat. 41:27.045 --> 41:30.527 These are clips that we played of the train announcer on this Peckham train. 41:30.587 --> 41:32.488 I aborted the telephone chat with immediate effect. 41:32.748 --> 41:36.310 I have a clip for your pleasure and interview with said announcer. 41:36.630 --> 41:41.813 So Mark went up to the train announcer, as we had asked people to do, and had a little chat with him. 41:42.353 --> 42:05.624 um so here's what happened excuse me yeah could you tell me is it you just the voice announcement it is do you realize that you're becoming famous on the radio really yeah hey which one show called adam and joe and what stage is that on it's on six music on a saturday morning oh really you've been on twice now and people actually record it yeah people are recording you 42:06.464 --> 42:08.106 and it's on the radio. 42:08.126 --> 42:13.471 How do you debate whether you're actually a recorded voice or a real person? 42:13.732 --> 42:19.397 If you tune in at 10, you become a member of Black Squadron, an elite listening force, but that's between me and you. 42:20.378 --> 42:22.360 I think you're going to become famous. 42:24.562 --> 42:26.343 That's amazing, Sergeant Mark Brown. 42:26.643 --> 42:27.483 Good work. 42:27.583 --> 42:28.704 He should get some kind of award. 42:28.724 --> 42:31.505 Well, he's immediately given a special Black Squadron commendation. 42:32.525 --> 42:38.288 As are the Adam and Joe team here who have rushed in with lots of napkins to clean up the spillage. 42:38.368 --> 42:39.308 Thank you very much indeed. 42:39.348 --> 42:40.248 That's incredible, though. 42:40.308 --> 42:41.929 What an amazing guy. 42:42.009 --> 42:43.890 And he'd clearly heard of the show. 42:43.930 --> 42:45.410 He was just being modest. 42:45.490 --> 42:46.191 Of course he was. 42:46.271 --> 42:49.072 His name, the driver, is Ralph Zanellotti. 42:49.192 --> 42:51.573 He's been a train driver in and around London for the last 42:52.153 --> 42:52.954 three years. 42:53.014 --> 42:56.317 And I think, uh, do we have a clip of another clip of Ralph? 42:56.818 --> 42:57.178 Here we go. 43:04.524 --> 43:05.185 No way! 43:05.505 --> 43:10.009 So he reigned himself in a little bit there, because sometimes when he says Peckham it's Peckham. 43:10.690 --> 43:11.931 Peckham. 43:12.091 --> 43:12.431 Rye. 43:13.052 --> 43:15.914 But we got our own little jingle there from Mr. Sanilotti. 43:15.934 --> 43:16.995 That is incredible. 43:17.035 --> 43:17.996 We're very privileged. 43:18.076 --> 43:18.497 Thank you. 43:18.897 --> 43:19.998 And what an amazing job you do. 43:20.038 --> 43:20.839 We salute you. 43:21.039 --> 43:21.559 Absolutely. 43:21.579 --> 43:26.324 We're going to have a bit more Travelling Tales later on in the show, but right now it's 11.30 and it's time for the news. 43:26.997 --> 43:31.180 So, Madness with Embarrassment, this is Adam and Joe on BBC6 Music. 43:31.540 --> 43:36.123 I hope you're doing well, listeners, in all aspects of your lives. 43:37.604 --> 43:41.106 I'm going to do... I'm going to fire off a little quiz right now, Joe, for you. 43:41.246 --> 43:46.029 I want you to respond to the following questions as honestly and fully as possible. 43:46.430 --> 43:48.291 How do you respond in the following situations? 43:48.931 --> 43:51.393 Someone says... This is the You Look Well quiz, right? 43:52.073 --> 43:53.374 Someone says, You Look Well. 43:53.554 --> 43:54.095 How do you respond? 43:55.155 --> 43:55.636 Hey, thanks. 43:55.956 --> 43:56.456 Thanks a lot. 43:56.496 --> 43:58.858 So do you write so you reciprocate? 43:58.958 --> 44:23.457 Yeah, and would you reciprocate even if they didn't look well Even if they had like their nose hanging on what I would do is I would hesitate or my voice would waver Well, you know you look well, I don't I push it slightly too hard So it was clear that they didn't write but that would be inadvertent And then what do you do if you proffer a you look well, but you don't get one in return and 44:24.358 --> 44:26.139 Do you feel a bit hurt by that? 44:27.720 --> 44:29.141 Possibly, possibly. 44:29.741 --> 44:31.683 Yeah, possibly. 44:31.703 --> 44:33.864 Do you maybe fish for the you look well? 44:34.264 --> 44:35.805 I get told I look tired a lot. 44:36.025 --> 44:37.046 Right, I hate that. 44:37.066 --> 44:38.487 My dad tells me I look tired a lot. 44:38.727 --> 44:40.248 He's probably listening, so I love it. 44:40.268 --> 44:41.929 Some people just look tired. 44:42.089 --> 44:43.290 I've figured that out in my life. 44:43.310 --> 44:43.650 Do you think? 44:43.710 --> 44:44.951 I think I just look tired. 44:45.351 --> 44:46.312 I'm just a tired guy. 44:46.832 --> 44:50.053 But I mean I know there have been moments where I don't look tired. 44:50.133 --> 44:52.174 I think it's a euphemism for you're getting old. 44:52.534 --> 44:52.794 Right. 44:53.155 --> 44:53.695 You look rough. 44:54.155 --> 44:55.215 That's basically what I think. 44:55.235 --> 44:58.097 When people say that to me I just think, thanks you've told me I look. 44:58.117 --> 44:59.217 How am I doing on the quiz though? 44:59.477 --> 45:00.117 You're doing well. 45:00.958 --> 45:02.919 I'm glad that you reciprocate with the you look well. 45:03.199 --> 45:04.319 I don't like people who don't. 45:05.059 --> 45:05.920 You must reciprocate. 45:05.940 --> 45:06.600 You always reciprocate. 45:06.620 --> 45:08.921 It's like offering someone a drink when they come round to your house. 45:08.961 --> 45:09.921 Don't say no to the drink. 45:09.941 --> 45:10.121 No. 45:10.261 --> 45:10.802 Have water at least. 45:11.022 --> 45:16.284 It is tricky sometimes if people really don't look well and you feel like you have to reciprocate with a very insincere. 45:16.684 --> 45:21.750 You, yeah, you, yeah. 45:21.790 --> 45:22.010 You know? 45:22.110 --> 45:22.851 I would switch it up. 45:22.931 --> 45:25.034 I would go for something like, oh great to see you. 45:25.174 --> 45:25.374 Right. 45:25.474 --> 45:26.696 It's so good to see you. 45:26.716 --> 45:26.956 Sure. 45:27.116 --> 45:29.719 So you find another positive that can balance that out. 45:29.739 --> 45:34.945 Because the other thing that sometimes happens is someone goes in with a you look well but you really don't feel you deserve it. 45:35.686 --> 45:35.946 Right. 45:36.327 --> 45:38.468 And so then you think, what's their agenda? 45:38.508 --> 45:39.649 Yeah, so it's sort of counterintuitive. 45:39.669 --> 45:42.211 They're trying to make up for the fact that in their eyes is a look of horror. 45:42.352 --> 45:42.652 Yes. 45:42.732 --> 45:43.212 And stench. 45:43.532 --> 45:44.413 You look well. 45:44.713 --> 45:46.475 You look really well. 45:46.515 --> 45:48.516 I like what you've done with your face. 45:48.536 --> 45:49.777 That's nice. 45:50.518 --> 45:53.400 Is this a quiz you've got from some magazine or have you formulated this quiz? 45:53.420 --> 45:54.561 No, I was just thinking about it. 45:55.822 --> 45:57.684 So it's not like there won't be a result? 45:58.377 --> 46:19.051 yes there is a result you've passed wizard that's exciting yeah no I know what you mean hmm it's tricky because sometimes you think well they're just saying you look well you sort of think are you insane because I don't look well or are you just trying to be crawly 46:19.711 --> 46:20.031 I haven't. 46:20.051 --> 46:21.952 What do you say you fishing for one back? 46:21.972 --> 46:22.413 What do you say? 46:22.433 --> 46:30.217 If it's a beautiful woman and it's a special event and the woman has clearly, or it could be a man, but has clearly made a sartorial efforts. 46:31.078 --> 46:32.599 You look fantastic. 46:32.659 --> 46:34.040 That's a slightly different thing. 46:34.080 --> 46:35.660 You look, Oh, you look wonderful. 46:35.721 --> 46:37.822 I think because that's acceptable flirting, isn't it? 46:37.882 --> 46:44.105 Making a comment on how great a woman looks when she's clearly made an effort and you're allowed to mention it. 46:44.286 --> 46:44.986 Well, if you say it like 46:45.286 --> 46:46.567 You look absolutely fantastic. 46:46.607 --> 46:48.348 You've made a real effort. 46:48.488 --> 46:49.809 Oh God, look at you. 46:50.529 --> 46:54.792 You look good enough to chew. 46:55.092 --> 46:57.674 You've made a special effort and let me tell you it's paid off. 46:59.635 --> 47:01.216 Look at your décolletage. 47:01.856 --> 47:03.057 That's very good. 47:03.758 --> 47:06.860 Ooh, look at the way the dress is hanging off you in all parts. 47:07.480 --> 47:08.861 Well done, may I say. 47:08.881 --> 47:10.263 A round of applause. 47:10.283 --> 47:14.446 What if the person has made a special sartorial effort and it's a disaster, but they don't know it. 47:14.546 --> 47:20.030 They swan into a party, their hair's over to the left, the dress is green and poo coloured. 47:20.050 --> 47:20.710 Did you mention that? 47:20.770 --> 47:22.712 Woah, what happened there? 47:23.573 --> 47:25.114 No, I mean, would you say that to the person? 47:25.334 --> 47:27.757 No, you'd go, you look amazing. 47:27.857 --> 47:29.038 You look a disaster. 47:29.619 --> 47:31.721 Because people sometimes... Well, candidness is the other tricky thing. 47:32.061 --> 47:34.603 And this used to happen when I was a teenager and I had terrible spots. 47:34.623 --> 47:35.644 We've discussed this before. 47:35.925 --> 47:38.127 There would be a certain person who would come up to you and go, 47:38.467 --> 47:40.469 Look at that enormous zit! 47:40.489 --> 47:43.011 Look at that huge strawberry on the end of your nose. 47:43.131 --> 47:43.591 Well done. 47:43.991 --> 47:46.934 And you said, I think, why would you possibly think that was a fun thing to say? 47:46.954 --> 47:51.077 Yeah, it's not as if I haven't spent all morning desperately trying to cover it with cover-up stuff. 47:51.257 --> 47:51.998 Yeah, exactly. 47:52.038 --> 47:54.500 And almost didn't come into school because of it. 47:55.060 --> 47:58.661 But maybe some people would genuinely like it and get quite turned on by it. 47:58.941 --> 48:01.022 Like in how to get ahead in advertising. 48:01.822 --> 48:02.363 Do you remember that? 48:02.403 --> 48:06.164 When they try and turn it as, is it a zitty girl into a pop star? 48:06.624 --> 48:08.565 They like fasten onto that as the latest trend. 48:08.585 --> 48:09.525 I've got to watch that film again. 48:09.545 --> 48:10.486 This is very rambly link. 48:10.526 --> 48:13.547 This is rambly link, isn't it? 48:13.647 --> 48:15.187 Let's get back on track with some music. 48:15.207 --> 48:16.068 This is Noah and the Whale. 48:16.108 --> 48:17.848 And after this, I think we'll have a bit of text the nation. 48:17.888 --> 48:18.208 Why not? 48:18.288 --> 48:19.769 This is tonight's the kind of night. 48:21.138 --> 48:40.632 he's made the decision to say good change and that's kind of transformed the whole song it becomes like a hook in a way sorry I bust in on the little reversal bit at the end there Noah and the whale very nice job indeed chaps give yourselves a little pat on the back there this is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 music let's have the text the nation jingle James 48:42.943 --> 48:43.763 Text the nation. 48:43.803 --> 48:44.863 Text, text, text. 48:44.983 --> 48:45.724 Text the nation. 48:45.784 --> 48:46.744 What if I don't want to? 48:47.004 --> 48:47.724 Text the nation. 48:47.824 --> 48:48.824 But I'm using email. 48:49.004 --> 48:49.744 Is that a problem? 48:49.764 --> 48:50.304 It doesn't matter. 48:50.344 --> 48:50.684 Text. 48:50.844 --> 48:51.885 Hello. 48:51.985 --> 48:52.705 Hello. 48:53.145 --> 48:55.285 Oh, it's all gone quiet. 48:55.305 --> 48:56.085 Oh, deary me. 48:56.626 --> 48:58.626 Hello and welcome to Text the Nation. 48:58.666 --> 49:02.487 This week the subject is ideas for high concept cookery shows. 49:02.867 --> 49:05.887 Here are some quick fire text responses we've had. 49:05.967 --> 49:10.268 George in Leighton Stone pitches Freebie and the Bean. 49:10.908 --> 49:11.988 Well, that was a TV show. 49:12.028 --> 49:12.788 It was a cop show, right? 49:12.808 --> 49:13.008 No, no, no. 49:13.028 --> 49:13.649 It's an old movie. 49:13.669 --> 49:14.289 Freebie and the Bean. 49:15.269 --> 49:19.130 One freeloading scruffy student type coupled with a self-righteous vegan. 49:19.650 --> 49:21.970 So Freebie, the student, Bean, the vegan. 49:22.270 --> 49:22.450 Nice. 49:22.490 --> 49:22.810 Any good? 49:23.131 --> 49:23.531 I like it. 49:23.931 --> 49:24.291 Commissioned? 49:26.331 --> 49:26.511 What? 49:26.531 --> 49:32.272 A self-righteous student with a... One freeloading scruffy student type coupled with a self-righteous vegan. 49:32.672 --> 49:33.333 Freebie and the Bean. 49:33.373 --> 49:34.073 Freebie and the Bean. 49:34.173 --> 49:34.713 I really like it. 49:34.733 --> 49:35.053 Commissioned? 49:35.313 --> 49:35.973 I'm commissioned. 49:36.053 --> 49:36.234 Wow. 49:36.294 --> 49:37.234 Bucky Lee's commissions that one. 49:37.554 --> 49:41.016 This is from, uh, this is from Andrew and Sarah in Seton. 49:43.457 --> 49:44.658 I think that's what they mean in Seton. 49:45.038 --> 49:45.498 Delaval. 49:45.518 --> 49:46.159 I don't know what that means. 49:47.199 --> 49:49.660 They're sitting on seats in Delaval. 49:49.700 --> 49:50.321 They're in Seton. 49:50.421 --> 49:52.382 Sweeney Toddler is the name of the show. 49:52.422 --> 49:52.682 Nice. 49:52.862 --> 49:55.623 A children's cookery show where the main ingredient is always human flesh. 49:56.664 --> 49:57.524 Eaten by a toddler. 49:57.684 --> 50:01.026 No, it's for children, but you wouldn't feed anyone the food. 50:01.046 --> 50:02.087 I mean, it's made of human flesh. 50:02.107 --> 50:02.707 That's disgusting. 50:03.187 --> 50:03.708 Sweeney toddler. 50:04.008 --> 50:04.388 I like it. 50:04.668 --> 50:05.149 Commissioned? 50:05.309 --> 50:05.549 Yeah. 50:06.010 --> 50:06.311 Wow. 50:06.611 --> 50:07.693 I commission most things. 50:07.713 --> 50:09.095 You're very commission happy today. 50:09.155 --> 50:10.337 I've got a lot of money in my bags. 50:10.457 --> 50:11.979 James in Greenwich, 12 angry men. 50:12.019 --> 50:17.167 They don't start out angry, but the logistical challenge of booking for such a large number at short notice invariably leads to arguments. 50:17.187 --> 50:19.851 They go round restaurants, they're not actually doing cooking. 50:20.752 --> 50:22.293 I'd find it a little enervating. 50:22.654 --> 50:22.854 No. 50:22.934 --> 50:25.235 James's production company is absolutely reliant on this commission. 50:25.296 --> 50:25.976 Is he getting commissioned? 50:26.036 --> 50:26.677 I'm so sorry. 50:26.737 --> 50:28.758 Come back when you've honed the concept. 50:28.898 --> 50:30.159 Terrible news for James. 50:30.479 --> 50:32.821 Here is one from an anonymous texter. 50:34.562 --> 50:37.304 My cooking idea is called Jamaican Me Hungry. 50:37.525 --> 50:39.146 A couple of people from Jamaica cook some food. 50:39.466 --> 50:40.227 I like it. 50:40.247 --> 50:41.108 Oh, that's from Johnny Slow. 50:41.128 --> 50:41.488 Commissioned? 50:41.929 --> 50:42.990 I very much like it. 50:43.030 --> 50:44.211 Yes, I'm commissioned for that one. 50:44.271 --> 50:45.112 OK, onto emails. 50:45.192 --> 50:46.153 Corinne Long. 50:47.214 --> 50:48.736 She's pitching Missy and Hissy. 50:50.057 --> 50:55.242 A stressed mother tries to feed their fussy daughter regional dishes cooked by fantastic local chefs. 50:55.423 --> 50:58.446 Every episode ends with the mum giving up and buying the daughter crisps. 50:59.065 --> 51:00.106 Yeah, that's good, that's good. 51:00.146 --> 51:03.028 Trying to introduce children to new food is always a fun thing. 51:03.108 --> 51:04.029 But failing every week. 51:04.069 --> 51:04.269 Yeah. 51:04.330 --> 51:05.170 And just ending up with crisps. 51:05.230 --> 51:06.631 Ending up with crisps, yeah. 51:06.872 --> 51:08.373 I mean, people like repetition, don't they? 51:08.393 --> 51:09.374 Different ways of presenting crisps. 51:09.394 --> 51:10.415 They like familiarity. 51:10.475 --> 51:10.715 Yeah. 51:10.975 --> 51:13.037 And to have the same ending each week would be good. 51:13.958 --> 51:15.759 Here is one from Jillian in Salford. 51:16.740 --> 51:18.461 Her pitch is... So that's commissioned, is it? 51:18.582 --> 51:19.522 Missy and Hissy. 51:19.602 --> 51:20.443 Missy and Hissy, yeah. 51:20.503 --> 51:20.783 Like it did. 51:20.803 --> 51:21.284 That's amazing. 51:21.304 --> 51:22.525 I mean, that's four or five commissions? 51:23.205 --> 51:23.346 Yeah. 51:23.366 --> 51:24.306 That's a lot of cookery shows. 51:24.326 --> 51:24.747 I like it. 51:24.787 --> 51:25.928 Are you looking for a lot of cookery shows? 51:26.468 --> 51:29.229 You can't have enough cookery shows, you absolute moron. 51:32.750 --> 51:35.291 One Handed Cooking is the show from Gillian in Salford. 51:35.771 --> 51:38.352 One person, one hand, three great dishes. 51:38.372 --> 51:43.773 I was going to say something so awful then, but I didn't. 51:44.333 --> 51:48.695 Cracking an egg with one hand has always been a big... Alright, I'm putting that away. 51:49.575 --> 51:51.356 Gillian, you sent that to the wrong program. 51:51.376 --> 51:52.616 I want more one-handed cooking. 51:53.116 --> 51:54.596 You sent that to the wrong show. 51:54.716 --> 51:55.957 I'm the one-handed chef. 51:56.077 --> 51:59.458 We're too immature to just deal with the words one-handed. 51:59.878 --> 52:00.338 Here we go. 52:00.358 --> 52:02.978 Here is a letter from Will in Leeds. 52:03.398 --> 52:04.139 Hi Adam and Joe. 52:04.319 --> 52:07.820 I had an idea for a restaurant that could easily translate to the TV format. 52:07.860 --> 52:08.640 Okay, this is the last one. 52:09.680 --> 52:11.361 It's called Hey Pesto. 52:11.962 --> 52:12.642 Hey Pesto. 52:13.983 --> 52:19.146 It would involve Darren Brown convincing customers they're eating fine Italian food when they're actually at home in bed. 52:21.087 --> 52:30.794 Later, Deron, he spelt it Deron with an O-N, would reveal the truth at their bedside only for them to leave the house and find their whole house has been moved to Italy. 52:31.414 --> 52:32.155 That's the big twist. 52:32.195 --> 52:35.257 It's not really a cooking show, is all I'd say. 52:35.297 --> 52:37.958 I think it sounds fun and it might be a fun special for Darren to do. 52:38.018 --> 52:38.799 It's not looking good, Will. 52:39.139 --> 52:42.042 But it's not really a cooking show with two lovable lunatics. 52:42.062 --> 52:44.265 Will's got a new production company. 52:44.325 --> 52:49.511 He's hired 15 people and an office and he's betting it all on Hey Pesto. 52:49.571 --> 52:51.033 And they're all single mums. 52:51.633 --> 52:53.515 They're all single mums. 52:54.236 --> 52:55.738 Well tough luck mums! 52:55.838 --> 52:57.620 It's time to look for another job! 52:58.681 --> 53:00.442 Here's a free play for you right now, listeners. 53:00.962 --> 53:04.724 And this comes from something that James, our producer, pointed out to me. 53:04.744 --> 53:12.768 He gave me some CDs of an interview that David Bowie did in 1979 on Radio One when he was promoting the album Lodger. 53:13.368 --> 53:23.673 And what he did was went on there and selected a whole load of his favourite tracks that he was listening to currently and his favours of all time, and spoke very briefly about each one. 53:24.033 --> 53:25.594 It's called the Star Special. 53:26.554 --> 53:31.939 from 1979 and James was talking about maybe trying to get hold of it and broadcast it somehow on 6. 53:33.440 --> 53:37.803 He even got in touch with Bowie's people and I think they said that Bowie would be happy for that to happen. 53:37.903 --> 53:39.204 For the show to be repeated. 53:39.485 --> 53:51.674 He picks out some amazing tracks there and it's only frustrating that he doesn't speak at greater length about them but here's one of the ones that's a bit more well known he picks out from John Lennon's first solo album Plastic Ono Band 1970. 53:52.495 --> 53:55.498 Here's David just saying a few brief words about the track Remember. 54:01.893 --> 54:26.356 that's a good way to end a song though isn't it just a bit of just an explosion that was John Lennon there with remember from 1970 the choice of David Bowie on the Star Special first broadcast in May 1979 and I think that he probably heard that and was then inspired to write oh you pretty things don't you think that sort of piano figure is very reminiscent of that track you know what I think you're doing what 54:26.716 --> 54:28.217 I think you're trying to get serious. 54:28.717 --> 54:29.318 I am getting serious. 54:29.338 --> 54:34.121 About Bowie so that we kind of clear away the sort of stupidity. 54:34.161 --> 54:34.701 The poo stench. 54:34.861 --> 54:37.843 The poo stench, the sort of wizzer, the wizzer wizziness. 54:37.963 --> 54:38.663 Oh I see. 54:38.723 --> 54:45.047 I think you're trying not to do, oh wizzer, wizzer, wizzer anymore because you want to get serious because you want to position yourself for the actual Bowie encounter. 54:45.187 --> 54:45.628 Yes. 54:45.828 --> 54:46.668 Is that what's happening? 54:46.688 --> 54:47.949 Subconsciously I must be. 54:47.989 --> 54:52.812 Subconsciously you're trying to clean out that cupboard because you've been talking about Bowie now for a couple of minutes and there hasn't been a single wizzer. 54:53.193 --> 54:54.396 That's absolutely true. 54:54.416 --> 54:55.179 That's more like it! 55:17.295 --> 55:19.357 We're through the noon barrier, ladies and gentlemen. 55:20.198 --> 55:23.120 And that was Woohoo by the 5678s. 55:23.140 --> 55:26.263 Need to work a little bit harder on the lyrics there, guys. 55:26.303 --> 55:27.944 That's a lot of stupid noises. 55:28.125 --> 55:30.747 We need to pay a little bit more attention to the words. 55:30.827 --> 55:32.228 It's probably just for little kids. 55:32.549 --> 55:36.272 Think about what you want to say and then write it down, mate. 55:36.332 --> 55:36.492 What? 55:36.652 --> 55:36.912 Mate? 55:37.293 --> 55:37.933 No, I'm just saying. 55:38.294 --> 55:38.574 Mate? 55:38.794 --> 55:39.074 Mate? 55:39.915 --> 55:42.296 Mate, I'm not, I'm not asking you anything. 55:42.736 --> 55:44.437 Here's a message from Richard Soden. 55:44.697 --> 55:48.439 Do you remember a while back you clipped out all the oohs and aahs from an episode of The Archers? 55:48.459 --> 55:53.841 Yes, I made a very erotic episode of The Archers just by cutting out all the actual words and leaving in the... 55:55.802 --> 55:56.583 That's right. 55:56.883 --> 56:00.747 He says, and Richard Sodden calls us Stretch and Furry. 56:01.087 --> 56:03.850 Wow, people are being very inventive with their namanising. 56:03.930 --> 56:05.491 How do you feel about Stretch and Furry? 56:05.852 --> 56:06.412 I like it. 56:06.432 --> 56:08.254 Well, that's things we've called each other in the past. 56:08.494 --> 56:09.115 Yo, Stretch! 56:09.295 --> 56:10.095 Yo, Furry! 56:10.376 --> 56:10.796 One guy. 56:10.816 --> 56:12.337 He likes it. 56:12.357 --> 56:13.298 Shedding the clouds. 56:14.199 --> 56:21.466 In one of these Podmax episodes, says Richard Sodden, sorry, I'm just going to start that again for the podcast, James. 56:22.046 --> 56:31.149 In one of the PodMax podcast episodes, Joe's extracted oohs and aahs and sighs from an episode of The Archers put a whole new spin on my farm-based listening pleasure. 56:31.449 --> 56:33.090 But enough is enough! 56:34.010 --> 56:38.211 Those dirty, dirty writers at Radio 4 have pushed the boat out too far. 56:38.591 --> 56:42.633 Last week's omnibus edition is full of innuendo and smut. 56:43.073 --> 56:45.054 Dirty, dirty smut. 56:45.154 --> 56:45.934 Sounds disgraceful. 56:46.534 --> 56:52.621 You only need to add a little dirty music, and you've got the makings of a Robin Asquith Triple X feature. 56:53.222 --> 56:54.403 In fact, I might well do it. 56:54.704 --> 56:58.969 Well, he happily, uh, he kindly supplied the time codes, so I did it instead. 56:59.029 --> 57:01.772 Thank you very much, Richard Soden, and here's what the results were. 57:01.792 --> 57:04.135 We're having some of Tom's pork. 57:04.555 --> 57:05.656 Ooh, that sounds nice. 57:06.488 --> 57:07.809 I'll just go and give Tony a call. 57:08.009 --> 57:10.170 Yeah, he's in the yard doing something to a tractor. 57:10.590 --> 57:12.431 Two family members on the PC again. 57:12.531 --> 57:13.752 Yes, let's hope so. 57:14.432 --> 57:18.214 Still needs a lot of work with a wire wall before we're ready to start. 57:18.694 --> 57:19.255 Yes, I see. 57:19.335 --> 57:22.096 It has to be absolutely clean and shiny. 57:22.396 --> 57:23.917 So, lots of polishing. 57:24.037 --> 57:24.357 Yes. 57:25.878 --> 57:26.278 Are you in? 57:26.298 --> 57:27.219 Yep. 57:27.259 --> 57:28.499 Hope it wasn't awkward for you. 57:28.519 --> 57:30.140 No, Jill, it was fine. 57:30.420 --> 57:31.481 Thank you for picking me up. 57:32.003 --> 57:32.643 So how was it? 57:33.044 --> 57:35.165 It's got dozens of different shades. 57:35.245 --> 57:36.465 Goes hard in the kiln? 57:36.525 --> 57:38.086 Yes, almost like magic. 57:38.666 --> 57:41.708 Comes out very smooth and shiny and delicate. 57:41.948 --> 57:43.989 Oh, that does sound interesting. 57:44.069 --> 57:44.329 Yes. 57:48.826 --> 57:49.787 Come on. 57:49.867 --> 57:50.707 That's disgusting. 57:50.727 --> 57:52.348 That is absolutely filthy. 57:53.469 --> 57:55.770 That is the dirtiest program. 57:55.790 --> 58:02.113 The other day I was listening to the radio and I heard the dirtiest program I have ever heard. 58:02.513 --> 58:03.854 It was called The Archers. 58:04.114 --> 58:04.775 Who was that from? 58:05.255 --> 58:06.496 That was from Richard Soden. 58:06.836 --> 58:07.516 Richard, well done. 58:07.536 --> 58:08.577 That was amazing. 58:08.637 --> 58:09.937 Good effort, Richard Soden. 58:09.957 --> 58:10.658 Thank you very much. 58:11.138 --> 58:16.440 If you find anything else similarly dirty out there, please... Yes, we're going to become the new sort of Mary White House. 58:16.480 --> 58:16.720 Yeah. 58:16.960 --> 58:20.602 We're looking, yeah, for innuendo, where you wouldn't expect it. 58:21.342 --> 58:26.204 Any kind of dirt or filth out there, please send it in so we can play it and stamp it out. 58:26.624 --> 58:27.005 Ooh! 58:27.345 --> 58:33.487 I interrupted your funny voice there and you very well just sort of paused it, waited for me to finish and then picked it up again. 58:33.927 --> 58:34.428 That was good. 58:34.448 --> 58:35.268 Thank you very much. 58:35.688 --> 58:37.049 Stamp it, stamp it, stamp it! 58:37.489 --> 58:40.150 Right now, here's Otis Redding with Carla Thomas and Tramp. 58:44.952 --> 59:00.514 mama was Papa too I know that's how babies are born that was Carla Thomas with Otis Redding and Tramp Adam and Joe here on BBC six music now here's a feature it's more of a featurette that we haven't had for a 59:03.531 --> 59:09.012 long time here on the program and I think the jingle kind of says it all so let's fire off the jingle. 59:10.352 --> 59:15.813 I like to change the lyrics of songs from time to time. 59:17.894 --> 59:23.815 To make them refer to things I do. 59:24.635 --> 59:30.956 I call it pothole creation and as far as I'm aware it isn't a crime. 59:33.243 --> 59:35.857 I wonder if it's something you do 59:41.755 --> 59:43.376 That's right, Popopreation. 59:43.556 --> 59:44.437 Who is that singer? 59:45.297 --> 59:45.777 Donald Fagan. 59:46.278 --> 59:46.638 Really? 59:46.778 --> 59:47.939 From Steely Dan, yes. 59:48.019 --> 59:48.259 Wow. 59:48.419 --> 59:48.899 There you go. 59:49.520 --> 59:49.780 I like it. 59:49.800 --> 59:51.221 I asked him if he had some time. 59:51.261 --> 59:51.701 He said, yep. 59:51.941 --> 59:52.862 And that's what he came up with. 59:53.342 --> 59:57.625 Here's one from John in Westbury's Submendip. 59:58.505 --> 59:59.746 And he says, hi, Adam and Joe. 59:59.806 --> 01:00:01.987 I just caught myself doing some Popopreation. 01:00:02.147 --> 01:00:09.732 Instead of singing Hello, Dolly by Louis Armstrong upon meeting my sister's dogs, I sing, hello, doggies. 01:00:09.912 --> 01:00:10.873 Well, hello. 01:00:12.013 --> 01:00:14.736 So that's kind of a nice little fun simple one. 01:00:14.776 --> 01:00:16.577 Because it's a sort of a doggy voice isn't it? 01:00:16.597 --> 01:00:16.677 Yeah. 01:00:17.198 --> 01:00:19.720 I mean that's very good that's got extra connectivity. 01:00:19.920 --> 01:00:21.281 Armstrong's got the doggy voice. 01:00:21.702 --> 01:00:23.743 He's kind of like a jazz boggins. 01:00:24.024 --> 01:00:24.524 Exactly. 01:00:25.205 --> 01:00:29.408 Like a slightly more fragrant jazz boggins. 01:00:29.468 --> 01:00:36.034 Do you think if we you know married boggins and some sort of French horn I could think of where to pop it. 01:00:37.862 --> 01:00:42.446 It's so nice to have you back where you belong. 01:00:44.027 --> 01:00:46.709 You're looking swell, Dolly. 01:00:47.370 --> 01:00:49.732 I can't tell, bloody. 01:00:50.372 --> 01:00:53.495 I'm still stinking, you're still thinking that smells quite strong. 01:00:53.515 --> 01:00:59.840 I think an album of Boggins covering, like, classic Louis Armstrong would sell like hotcakes this Christmas. 01:01:00.060 --> 01:01:01.000 I feel the band. 01:01:02.222 --> 01:01:03.123 Do a bit of Wonderful World. 01:01:04.164 --> 01:01:09.290 And I think to myself, one wonderful smell. 01:01:10.351 --> 01:01:10.731 I love you. 01:01:11.733 --> 01:01:14.836 So thank you very much to John in Westbury Submended for that one. 01:01:15.317 --> 01:01:17.459 Here's one from Nick Clark. 01:01:17.519 --> 01:01:18.500 Do you think it's Nicky Clark? 01:01:18.701 --> 01:01:19.301 It's Nick Clegg. 01:01:19.321 --> 01:01:20.342 It's Nick Clegg. 01:01:21.912 --> 01:01:34.819 When going through airport security these days, I'm always asked whether I have in my possession any liquids, gels, or pastes, which I then like to sing to the tune of Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves by Cher for the whole of the subsequent flight. 01:01:35.260 --> 01:01:39.862 Liquids, gels, and pastes, please can you ensure they're not in your suitcase? 01:01:39.902 --> 01:01:40.503 That's good! 01:01:41.603 --> 01:01:43.945 And finally, for pop appropriation this week, 01:01:44.685 --> 01:01:48.388 We've got one from Mac, long time listener, first time contributor. 01:01:49.289 --> 01:01:54.053 Also a man person from Swiss Slack Squadron, Basel Division. 01:01:54.413 --> 01:01:55.934 Lots of good contextual detail. 01:01:56.595 --> 01:01:59.517 Dear Dr. Bucky Lees and Sir Cornobulus Balls. 01:01:59.557 --> 01:02:00.738 Yes, thank you at last. 01:02:01.759 --> 01:02:03.280 At last, my full official title. 01:02:03.900 --> 01:02:06.181 Someone's looked me up in, um, de Bretz. 01:02:06.301 --> 01:02:06.921 That's right. 01:02:07.541 --> 01:02:10.963 A little bit of pop-op-reation I enjoy on a regular basis is thusly. 01:02:11.203 --> 01:02:15.805 When I feel hungry, I like to sing to the tune of I Want You from The Beatles' Abbey Road. 01:02:16.285 --> 01:02:17.165 I want food. 01:02:17.185 --> 01:02:20.327 I want food. 01:02:20.347 --> 01:02:24.188 I want food so bad. 01:02:24.268 --> 01:02:25.729 It's driving me mad. 01:02:25.869 --> 01:02:27.309 It's driving me mad. 01:02:29.330 --> 01:02:30.271 I want food! 01:02:31.032 --> 01:02:33.454 I want food so bad! 01:02:34.555 --> 01:02:36.597 I want food! 01:02:37.278 --> 01:02:39.440 I want food so bad! 01:02:39.600 --> 01:02:41.102 It's drivin' me mad! 01:02:41.222 --> 01:02:42.283 It's drivin' me! 01:02:42.583 --> 01:02:43.464 Da-na-na-na! 01:02:43.724 --> 01:02:44.525 Da-na-na-na! 01:02:44.565 --> 01:02:45.606 Boom-ba-do-ba-do-boom! 01:02:45.686 --> 01:02:46.827 Da-na-na-na! 01:02:46.867 --> 01:02:47.628 Da-na-na-na! 01:02:48.169 --> 01:02:50.311 She's so hungry! 01:02:50.331 --> 01:02:50.471 Hungry! 01:02:50.651 --> 01:02:51.111 Hungry! 01:02:53.654 --> 01:02:54.776 I'm staging an intervention. 01:02:54.796 --> 01:02:55.096 All right. 01:02:55.236 --> 01:02:56.738 That'll be nothing if you don't know that track. 01:02:57.159 --> 01:03:01.644 But good effort there, Mac, from Basildivision. 01:03:02.085 --> 01:03:03.026 Basildivision. 01:03:03.086 --> 01:03:04.127 Basildivision. 01:03:04.247 --> 01:03:05.068 Yeah, that's how it's pronounced. 01:03:05.089 --> 01:03:05.849 Basildivision. 01:03:06.230 --> 01:03:07.131 Swiss slack squadron. 01:03:07.572 --> 01:03:11.597 And if you've got any more popopriation that you'd like to supply us through the week, 01:03:12.017 --> 01:03:12.857 Please send them in. 01:03:14.117 --> 01:03:22.479 Your email address is adamandjoe.6music at bbc.co.uk and that's the address for anything. 01:03:22.599 --> 01:03:31.301 Text the nation, retro text the nation, pop appropriation, travelling tales, beefs, spats, wiffles, waffles or chods. 01:03:32.121 --> 01:03:34.001 And here is Overkill River. 01:03:34.261 --> 01:03:35.902 Imagine the post we're going to get now. 01:03:36.002 --> 01:03:37.242 Sorry I came out by accident. 01:03:38.502 --> 01:03:41.705 I called them Overkill River, they're Ockeville River. 01:03:41.865 --> 01:03:50.192 It's one of those things you see written down and your brain simply won't process it any other way, like shop fitters and shoplifters on the side of a van. 01:03:51.633 --> 01:03:53.615 Anyway, here's a free play for you right now, listeners. 01:03:53.955 --> 01:04:00.901 And this is one of the many songs that I've enjoyed discovering on Bob Dylan's Theme Time Radio Hour, which I've mentioned before, even today. 01:04:01.401 --> 01:04:03.401 I'm sort of going through all those programs one by one. 01:04:03.581 --> 01:04:04.802 It's amazing if you've never heard it. 01:04:04.842 --> 01:04:09.022 We broadcast them on 6music a while back, and you can buy them on CD I think. 01:04:09.442 --> 01:04:15.484 But he's got so many good little nuggets that he pops in there, and his links are a joy. 01:04:15.904 --> 01:04:21.685 I'm gonna maybe pull some out for you next week with Garth and play them for you. 01:04:21.705 --> 01:04:26.365 But this is a track that I heard on there by a guy called King Stitt, aka Winston Sparks. 01:04:26.886 --> 01:04:28.926 He was born with a facial deformity, 01:04:29.426 --> 01:04:58.618 and so decided that a good thing to do if he wanted a kind of thing for a recording career to hang a career on would be just to call himself the ugly one and so do loads of stuff about the fact that he reckoned he was the ugly one and so he has formed a kinship in his mind with Lee Van Cleef star of the good the bad and the ugly of course and so this track starts off with him kind of telling Clint Eastwood that uh he's rot I think that's what he says Clint Eastwood is rot 01:04:59.559 --> 01:05:13.457 and then he says I am Lee Van Cleef and it starts off and the track is quite chirpy and he's basically right the way through just saying die die die which you don't get on too many pop songs these days King Stit with Lee Van Cleef 01:05:15.069 --> 01:05:21.571 And still sounds as challenging and as avant-garde and out there as it did the day it was released. 01:05:21.591 --> 01:05:26.112 That's the sugar cubes with birthday and Bjork singing on top. 01:05:26.292 --> 01:05:27.133 Who's that supposed to be? 01:05:27.173 --> 01:05:27.593 I don't know. 01:05:27.613 --> 01:05:30.393 I started speaking that way and didn't really think it through. 01:05:30.634 --> 01:05:34.675 We're going to have another little traveler's tale because we've got a good issue here to think about. 01:05:34.695 --> 01:05:35.355 Have a jingle. 01:05:35.635 --> 01:05:43.981 I'm a travelin' Tails, travelin' Tails, Tails, I'm travelin' on a train, or an automobile, or an aeroplane, I wanna know what you're travelin' Tails. 01:05:44.001 --> 01:05:46.323 All aboard the Skyline! 01:05:46.583 --> 01:05:48.644 I mean, that's a good, it's a good jingle. 01:05:48.965 --> 01:05:49.905 I mean, it is a good jingle. 01:05:49.925 --> 01:05:50.846 You know what I did this week? 01:05:50.986 --> 01:05:52.407 You look, you look really well. 01:05:52.647 --> 01:05:53.568 Thanks, so do you. 01:05:53.608 --> 01:05:54.489 That's a good jingle. 01:05:54.609 --> 01:05:55.769 Thank you very much. 01:05:57.326 --> 01:05:57.746 Here we go. 01:05:57.786 --> 01:06:03.008 Here's an interesting situation that's come in from a person called Pleaser Devise. 01:06:04.148 --> 01:06:05.268 There's no name on this. 01:06:05.368 --> 01:06:07.189 Maybe we could find out the name of this person. 01:06:07.529 --> 01:06:10.010 Dear Adam and Joe, what is the right thing to do in this situation? 01:06:10.610 --> 01:06:11.330 I get on a bus. 01:06:11.770 --> 01:06:12.710 It's very busy. 01:06:13.191 --> 01:06:14.091 I go upstairs. 01:06:14.571 --> 01:06:25.214 The only free seat is right at the back next to a lady who, because I'm married, I do not notice, has silky hair and perfect skin and ruby red lips which seem to kiss themselves. 01:06:26.034 --> 01:06:28.056 She moves her hand back so I can sit next to her. 01:06:28.957 --> 01:06:29.617 That's nice of her. 01:06:29.758 --> 01:06:30.438 What a nice lady. 01:06:30.658 --> 01:06:32.360 We sit next to each other for five minutes. 01:06:32.740 --> 01:06:36.003 Then the bus reaches a big tube station where nearly everybody gets off. 01:06:36.343 --> 01:06:37.765 Now the top deck is almost empty. 01:06:38.005 --> 01:06:40.187 There's no reason for me to be sitting next to the lady. 01:06:40.447 --> 01:06:41.848 I'm sure she would like me to move. 01:06:42.289 --> 01:06:44.611 If there was a hairy man sitting next to me, I'd want him to move. 01:06:44.911 --> 01:06:47.453 But what if I moved and she thought I hated sitting next to her? 01:06:47.693 --> 01:06:48.874 Wouldn't that hurt her feelings? 01:06:49.275 --> 01:06:50.856 If I stay, will she think I fancy her? 01:06:51.116 --> 01:06:52.438 I don't because I'm married. 01:06:53.038 --> 01:06:54.460 I'm feeling increasingly uncomfortable. 01:06:54.620 --> 01:06:56.622 There's no way I'm going to make eye contact with her now. 01:06:56.862 --> 01:07:00.146 I need to work out her mood from the tiny area of physical contact. 01:07:00.786 --> 01:07:04.590 Is her right thigh trying to politely shrink away from my left thigh? 01:07:04.870 --> 01:07:05.411 I think so. 01:07:05.471 --> 01:07:06.252 It's hard to advise. 01:07:06.452 --> 01:07:06.993 It's hard to tell. 01:07:07.033 --> 01:07:07.573 Please advise. 01:07:09.516 --> 01:07:11.760 Now that is a quandary that I have as well. 01:07:11.780 --> 01:07:21.595 It happens on the underground when you get into a very full carriage and the carriage clears out and you find yourself sitting right next to another person and there's no need for you to have that proximity. 01:07:21.875 --> 01:07:22.336 What do you do? 01:07:22.356 --> 01:07:22.857 Do you move? 01:07:23.718 --> 01:07:25.120 And thereby insult the person? 01:07:25.240 --> 01:07:33.548 In these situations, and you can extrapolate, you know, and you can say that this applies to a lot of things in life, honesty is the best policy. 01:07:33.969 --> 01:07:34.169 Right. 01:07:34.189 --> 01:07:35.671 You just state the subtext. 01:07:35.751 --> 01:07:38.213 So you just say... You talk to the person? 01:07:38.233 --> 01:07:41.477 Yeah, you just say, right, I'll stretch out, give you a bit of room. 01:07:42.177 --> 01:07:43.838 Yeah that's a good point. 01:07:43.878 --> 01:07:45.840 This communication has come in from Simon. 01:07:46.720 --> 01:07:57.707 Yeah well Simon I would say that that is one tactic and actually you've said it yourself I know what you're saying you don't really want to upset the girl and somewhere in your mind as well is the chance that maybe she doesn't want you to move. 01:07:57.727 --> 01:08:02.390 You can go the other way which is take advantage of the fact that you're now alone. 01:08:02.931 --> 01:08:04.071 And then climb on top of her. 01:08:04.171 --> 01:08:07.754 Yes swing a leg over and you do it it's like when you yawn 01:08:08.334 --> 01:08:09.796 You yawn and then you put the arm around. 01:08:09.996 --> 01:08:15.564 The other thing to do is just to cross your legs like that, but take the leg a bit too far and go right over her leg. 01:08:15.704 --> 01:08:18.849 Oh, sorry, my legs are... I'm terribly sorry, I've accidentally straddled you. 01:08:20.872 --> 01:08:23.896 But it doesn't matter, no one has seen, neither of us can be embarrassed. 01:08:24.296 --> 01:08:24.657 Let's go! 01:08:26.974 --> 01:08:28.495 And when I'm saying let's go, you know what I mean. 01:08:29.096 --> 01:08:29.396 Let's go! 01:08:29.436 --> 01:08:30.216 Very assertive. 01:08:31.677 --> 01:08:32.538 Let's go to prison. 01:08:33.559 --> 01:08:35.700 You don't do anything then unless she goes, yes! 01:08:35.800 --> 01:08:39.903 Or she might just smack, probably punch you in the face and knee you in the bits and bobs. 01:08:39.923 --> 01:08:40.323 Mace you. 01:08:44.398 --> 01:08:45.078 Wow. 01:08:45.659 --> 01:08:46.279 You're married though. 01:08:46.299 --> 01:08:49.941 Bottom line Simon is you move away immediately from that attractive woman. 01:08:49.961 --> 01:08:51.182 Move away, move away from the attractive woman. 01:08:51.222 --> 01:08:52.742 Don't sit down next to her in the first place. 01:08:52.842 --> 01:08:53.603 No, step away. 01:08:53.663 --> 01:09:01.747 You should stand off of the seat to a little hobbit or something and just don't even get into that situation. 01:09:01.807 --> 01:09:03.368 Stay away from attractive people. 01:09:03.388 --> 01:09:05.129 Taking public transport is so difficult. 01:09:05.649 --> 01:09:23.785 it really is so many problems here's another message to illustrate that fact vividly this is from beth richmond dear adam and joe it was a very snowy morning and i was on my way to work all the trains were cancelled and there was a bus replacement service to another station irritated by the disruption i got on the bus and got comfortable 01:09:24.305 --> 01:09:25.426 There was no one sitting next to me. 01:09:25.766 --> 01:09:26.186 Result! 01:09:26.407 --> 01:09:27.948 I began to relax and read my book. 01:09:28.308 --> 01:09:30.890 Then a woman walked on and took the seat to my right. 01:09:31.150 --> 01:09:32.190 I was outraged! 01:09:32.471 --> 01:09:39.155 Not only did she choose the seat next to me, but she had a drink that was very smelly and she had a cold and was coughing a lot! 01:09:39.655 --> 01:09:44.679 She was also wearing a hat which in my frustrated state I found very annoying as it had ears. 01:09:45.299 --> 01:09:50.580 I felt that only children should wear hats with animal ears, so I was incensed, as you can imagine. 01:09:51.361 --> 01:10:06.744 I decided that I needed to tell someone about this annoying situation, so I began to text my boyfriend to tell him what a horrible morning I was having and how it had been topped off by this woman sitting next to me with a smelly drink, a cough, and a silly hat with ears, even though she must have been at least 25 years old. 01:10:07.165 --> 01:10:08.745 As my thumb hovered over the send button, 01:10:09.185 --> 01:10:17.228 The woman next to me leaned over and said, in a very harsh tone, I can't help having a cough, and actually I'm 35, not 25. 01:10:17.888 --> 01:10:18.588 I was stunned. 01:10:19.148 --> 01:10:21.169 She then said, and I can wear what I like. 01:10:21.809 --> 01:10:26.170 I was utterly, utterly, utterly shocked and angered that she had read my text. 01:10:26.511 --> 01:10:30.832 But the strongest emotion was embarrassment that I'd been caught out texting by a total stranger. 01:10:32.513 --> 01:10:33.553 about that stranger. 01:10:33.953 --> 01:10:37.274 We sat in silence for another three excruciating minutes. 01:10:37.694 --> 01:10:44.555 I felt that I had to respond to her comments in some way, so I said, well, at least I thought that you were ten years younger than you actually are. 01:10:45.255 --> 01:10:47.296 She forced a thin smile. 01:10:47.716 --> 01:10:54.377 We then had to sit next to each other on that bus for a further thirty minutes, me pretending to read my book but crying inside. 01:10:54.817 --> 01:11:00.118 We then got off the bus and proceeded to get on the packed train and had to stand next to each other for another thirty minutes. 01:11:00.578 --> 01:11:02.639 I will never text about strangers ever again. 01:11:02.659 --> 01:11:02.719 Wow. 01:11:02.759 --> 01:11:03.759 Thanks for reading this out. 01:11:03.900 --> 01:11:07.281 Very good thinking for the old, you know, I thought you were younger than you were. 01:11:07.301 --> 01:11:07.541 Yeah. 01:11:07.561 --> 01:11:10.042 I mean, that's very good to pull a positive out of that melange. 01:11:10.082 --> 01:11:11.583 That is a disaster area, isn't it? 01:11:11.603 --> 01:11:12.403 It is a disaster. 01:11:12.423 --> 01:11:15.545 Listen, the best thing to do, listeners, our advice, don't leave the house. 01:11:15.865 --> 01:11:17.986 For goodness sake, stay inside! 01:11:18.906 --> 01:11:22.988 Well, I was going to throw to the news that it's a little early and no one wants early news. 01:11:23.348 --> 01:11:26.809 You know, there's only one thing worse than bad news, and that's early news. 01:11:27.030 --> 01:11:31.692 I'll take this opportunity to say don't forget listeners that we have a podcast available of this show. 01:11:32.192 --> 01:11:41.276 James Sterling, our wonderful producer, our Sterling producer even, is going to edit it and put it up on the on the, you know, on the places on the internet. 01:11:41.376 --> 01:11:41.956 That's what I was 01:11:42.536 --> 01:11:44.318 Looking for later today. 01:11:44.378 --> 01:11:44.678 That's right. 01:11:44.698 --> 01:11:54.087 Isn't it James and I will be in my shed later on this evening with a glass of fine wine and a candle Number of candles. 01:11:54.147 --> 01:12:00.794 I like special candles and I'll be wearing just a bathrobe you realize you will eventually Be lost in a shed fire 01:12:01.334 --> 01:12:01.754 You reckon? 01:12:01.895 --> 01:12:07.839 Yeah, one evening on the news it'll be terrible, shed, con-, what, how do you say, uh, con-, what's the word? 01:12:07.879 --> 01:12:08.980 Yeah, I know the word you mean. 01:12:09.080 --> 01:12:10.041 Conflagration? 01:12:10.121 --> 01:12:11.122 Conflagration is exactly right. 01:12:11.142 --> 01:12:11.402 Is it? 01:12:11.462 --> 01:12:11.923 Yes, yes. 01:12:12.603 --> 01:12:15.085 Yeah, it's not a conurbation, that's a collection of towns. 01:12:15.726 --> 01:12:16.767 Um, yeah, conflagration. 01:12:17.047 --> 01:12:17.607 Is that right? 01:12:17.767 --> 01:12:18.668 Yeah, it is, yes, yes. 01:12:19.209 --> 01:12:21.751 And, um, fire crews arrived too late. 01:12:22.491 --> 01:12:26.154 The only sound they could hear from inside- You'll be drunk and you'll be so self-absorbed. 01:12:26.174 --> 01:12:28.196 Was the sound of chuckling from Dr. Buckles. 01:12:28.476 --> 01:12:30.798 You'll be so dangerously lethally self-absorbed. 01:12:31.138 --> 01:12:32.619 Listen to himself on the podcast. 01:12:32.659 --> 01:12:35.602 You'll have inserted your head right into the cupboard. 01:12:36.783 --> 01:12:35.602 12.30. 01:12:36.843 --> 01:12:37.583 It's time for the news. 01:12:40.966 --> 01:12:44.589 Hi, this is Brian Wilson from the Beach Boys. 01:12:45.230 --> 01:12:47.191 And that was my song. 01:12:47.652 --> 01:12:56.679 And I want to say I'm going to be on Sean Keeney's Breakfast Show on Monday, chatting to Matt Everitt from 01:12:58.480 --> 01:13:03.746 from the station and I'm going to be talking about the re... is this disrespectful? 01:13:04.467 --> 01:13:06.910 Possibly, possibly in quite a few ways. 01:13:07.090 --> 01:13:07.530 I'm joking. 01:13:08.371 --> 01:13:14.018 Brian Wilson, he's a music legend and of course responsible for that track that we just heard. 01:13:14.458 --> 01:13:34.725 and he is talking to, I mean this is a big deal, Matt Everett was chatting to him and it's going to be played out on Sean Keveny's show on Monday talking about the reissue of Smile and he's going to be talking as well about the art of producing and his drive to write new songs and whether he'll ever perform again with the remaining Beach Boys lineup and all that can be heard on Monday. 01:13:34.765 --> 01:13:35.586 That's exciting. 01:13:36.867 --> 01:13:44.413 I wonder which reissue of Smile is because there was one that came out a few years back where he'd recreated all the songs in my view somewhat pointlessly. 01:13:45.334 --> 01:13:51.899 I wonder if this one is going back to the original recordings that they started and then abandoned back in the 60s. 01:13:52.620 --> 01:13:53.801 I'll be interested to find out. 01:13:54.162 --> 01:13:55.403 Sean Keeney's show on Monday. 01:13:55.463 --> 01:13:57.705 Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 01:13:58.226 --> 01:14:02.650 Now, we've got a few messages in about the new series of The Apprentice that's on. 01:14:02.670 --> 01:14:03.531 Have you been watching, Joe? 01:14:03.991 --> 01:14:11.298 I've missed it so far, but the messages say that one of the contestants possibly looks a bit like me. 01:14:12.499 --> 01:14:21.423 People have said that about, very flatteringly I think, because I think it's patently ridiculous, about Fernando Torres, the football man. 01:14:21.503 --> 01:14:24.424 But I like that because it's flattering, he's a sexy man. 01:14:24.624 --> 01:14:26.065 Well this guy is handsome as well. 01:14:26.565 --> 01:14:28.926 Vincent Daznier? 01:14:28.986 --> 01:14:30.507 No, Daznier. 01:14:30.567 --> 01:14:32.228 He's the sort of opposite of Disney. 01:14:32.788 --> 01:14:35.509 He's like Disney's arrogant cynical brother, Daznier. 01:14:37.570 --> 01:14:42.376 Walt Disney World you go to, the rides are broken, and you can push up. 01:14:43.037 --> 01:14:44.378 I don't know, he's not even foreign. 01:14:44.418 --> 01:14:45.079 I haven't seen it. 01:14:45.299 --> 01:14:46.661 That's not an impression of him, I haven't seen it. 01:14:46.721 --> 01:14:48.784 Well we've got a little clip of him actually, I think. 01:14:49.184 --> 01:14:51.206 Shall we see if he sounds anything like Cornballs? 01:14:51.627 --> 01:14:52.007 Smart. 01:14:52.888 --> 01:15:07.613 vivacious, ambitious, extremely passionate, a perfectionist, someone who likes to occasionally show off. 01:15:07.793 --> 01:15:12.115 I have an unprecedented amount of business acumen. 01:15:12.855 --> 01:15:15.979 I'm a proven model in my industry. 01:15:16.059 --> 01:15:17.480 I'm best of breed within it. 01:15:18.742 --> 01:15:23.927 I am currently shortlisted as the best sales personality of the year. 01:15:25.348 --> 01:15:28.251 I am six music's number one DJ. 01:15:28.771 --> 01:15:32.314 I have hairs that are individually polished. 01:15:32.414 --> 01:15:36.959 My nose is at an angle that was approved by Michelangelo. 01:15:37.099 --> 01:15:39.281 I'm over eight and a half feet tall. 01:15:39.801 --> 01:15:43.765 I am considered to be the best at talking by all human beings. 01:15:43.925 --> 01:15:47.068 I have the most capacious pockets in Britain. 01:15:47.988 --> 01:15:50.850 I have knees that are electronic. 01:15:51.170 --> 01:15:59.815 I have recently been proven to be the best in 58 different fields of business. 01:15:59.835 --> 01:16:02.917 I have 45,000 secretaries and a company that is the 01:16:08.852 --> 01:16:10.593 And I have laser buttocks. 01:16:11.313 --> 01:16:13.574 Thank you for rescuing me there with laser buttocks. 01:16:13.614 --> 01:16:14.895 You're welcome. 01:16:15.475 --> 01:16:15.935 Anytime. 01:16:16.295 --> 01:16:18.496 My laser buttocks have rescued many people in their time. 01:16:18.957 --> 01:16:20.957 So that's Vincent Disner. 01:16:21.278 --> 01:16:23.218 Thank you very much to Wilhelm Tapcho. 01:16:23.238 --> 01:16:23.779 I'm flattered, though. 01:16:23.839 --> 01:16:25.699 He's a handsome, thrusting man. 01:16:25.719 --> 01:16:28.341 And in fact, I've got the Apprentice BBC website up here. 01:16:28.421 --> 01:16:35.404 And the main photo of Disneyland, Walt Disney, doesn't look very like me, but there's a little one in the bottom corner that rather does. 01:16:36.184 --> 01:16:52.798 because he's looking a bit toothy and he's got similar hair to you he's got the slightly and i don't mean this in a bad way richard madely hair yeah very true i often say to my lady girlfriend that i look like richard my hair does go very richard madely i like it i'm gonna just go richard madely soon i'm gonna turn to richard madely 01:16:52.858 --> 01:16:53.878 Hey, there's nothing wrong with that. 01:16:53.938 --> 01:16:54.439 No bad thing. 01:16:54.479 --> 01:16:55.579 He's a very sexy man. 01:16:55.659 --> 01:16:56.639 I like him so much. 01:16:57.139 --> 01:16:58.740 Joe Martin also pointed that out. 01:16:58.760 --> 01:17:00.620 She's a female, Joe, and Deptford. 01:17:01.341 --> 01:17:02.461 And it's a good series. 01:17:02.501 --> 01:17:04.162 I didn't realise it had started again. 01:17:04.602 --> 01:17:09.343 But I went in there, series number, you know, programme number two, bang, iPhone apps. 01:17:09.923 --> 01:17:10.744 Or, you know, smartphone apps. 01:17:10.764 --> 01:17:11.604 Oh, is that what they were inventing? 01:17:11.664 --> 01:17:11.864 Yeah. 01:17:12.204 --> 01:17:12.944 Oh, that sounds quite fun. 01:17:12.984 --> 01:17:13.605 It was a peach. 01:17:13.745 --> 01:17:14.445 You know what I miss? 01:17:14.705 --> 01:17:14.885 What? 01:17:15.345 --> 01:17:16.325 Her hair is like a cloud. 01:17:16.506 --> 01:17:16.866 Sure. 01:17:16.966 --> 01:17:17.286 Mountsford. 01:17:17.306 --> 01:17:18.106 It's just not the same. 01:17:18.206 --> 01:17:18.666 You reckon? 01:17:19.246 --> 01:17:20.747 Without Margaret. 01:17:21.206 --> 01:17:22.647 But the other two are still very good. 01:17:22.687 --> 01:17:24.867 And what's the name of the ex-football manager lady? 01:17:25.127 --> 01:17:25.487 Rontie. 01:17:25.888 --> 01:17:26.668 Rontie. 01:17:28.128 --> 01:17:29.569 I'm pretty sure it's not Rontie. 01:17:29.669 --> 01:17:30.749 Rontie Bags, of course it is. 01:17:30.849 --> 01:17:32.370 It's Karen Brady. 01:17:32.390 --> 01:17:33.150 Karen Brady. 01:17:33.410 --> 01:17:33.870 Oh, of course. 01:17:33.910 --> 01:17:35.211 Sorry, I was thinking of a different show. 01:17:35.231 --> 01:17:36.431 She's very nice indeed. 01:17:36.571 --> 01:17:40.012 But you know, it is upsetting when they get rid of the regulars. 01:17:40.053 --> 01:17:45.734 Like, have you been watching Britain's Got Talent with the weird lineup of judges they've got there? 01:17:45.774 --> 01:17:46.115 Yeah, sure. 01:17:46.135 --> 01:17:49.116 I've seen enough of it with McIntyre and the Hoff and Holden. 01:17:50.456 --> 01:17:54.060 Um, not undercover. 01:17:54.160 --> 01:18:00.187 I thought McIntyre was doing a great job and the crowd was behind him and everything, but boy, there's a big cowl-shaped hole there. 01:18:00.908 --> 01:18:04.371 Um, and it tips it over to have Hoth as the kind of centre of attention. 01:18:04.772 --> 01:18:09.177 When Hoth is the anchor of your show, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH YOUR SHOW! 01:18:10.051 --> 01:18:10.351 I think. 01:18:10.832 --> 01:18:11.232 Anyway. 01:18:11.292 --> 01:18:12.573 It's like Taffyn all over again. 01:18:12.673 --> 01:18:15.615 The other thing that people pointed out. 01:18:15.635 --> 01:18:16.836 We're not going to come to that though are we? 01:18:16.856 --> 01:18:18.077 A bit later we got some Taffyn fun. 01:18:18.317 --> 01:18:20.879 So we have a little Taffyn trailer here right now. 01:18:20.919 --> 01:18:24.141 If you go on the internet you might find something slightly Taffyn. 01:18:24.161 --> 01:18:25.402 No this is a bit sudden for James. 01:18:25.422 --> 01:18:26.403 He can't find the Taffyn thing. 01:18:26.443 --> 01:18:27.243 We'll build up to the Taffyn thing. 01:18:27.263 --> 01:18:27.904 His fingers are panicking. 01:18:27.924 --> 01:18:28.985 We'll come back to the Taffyn thing. 01:18:29.645 --> 01:18:30.746 Here we go, Taffen trailer. 01:18:48.407 --> 01:18:54.449 Why has that got the music from that Annika Rice program, where she goes and hunts all the... Do you remember that old Channel 4 show with Annika Rice? 01:18:54.929 --> 01:18:55.309 Yes! 01:18:55.629 --> 01:18:58.110 Play that once more, that's got the music from that on underneath it. 01:18:58.350 --> 01:18:58.550 Is it? 01:18:58.590 --> 01:18:58.870 Listen. 01:18:59.270 --> 01:19:03.391 For Pierce Brosnan, the role of Mark Taffin is unlike any other he has portrayed. 01:19:03.971 --> 01:19:10.253 Brosnan is riveting as the hired enforcer, a complex character who by equal turns is... The one where she runs around in her jumpsuit. 01:19:12.734 --> 01:19:14.355 Treasure Hunt, wasn't it? 01:19:14.375 --> 01:19:15.956 Pierce Brosnan is taffin'. 01:19:15.976 --> 01:19:16.696 Was he called Treasure Hunt? 01:19:16.716 --> 01:19:21.819 Yeah, where she was always in a helicopter in a jumpsuit. 01:19:21.979 --> 01:19:23.379 We need our experts on this one. 01:19:23.660 --> 01:19:25.080 You know, get Shazam onto that. 01:19:25.400 --> 01:19:39.888 The other thing that was pointed out about The Apprentice by Peter Fellows and others was, well Peter Fellows says, I know you're both avid viewers of The Apprentice and fondly recall the songs you did a few years ago, in particular the one about Margaret Mountford who's sadly no longer on the show. 01:19:40.268 --> 01:19:59.839 you may have noticed during the apprentice you're fired on wednesday in the montage of footage lord sugar says nonsense in a very similar manner to how adam has been recently he says please play a clip so other listeners will notice here we go where where is your brain that's nonsense that's nonsense this is a disgrace 01:20:02.825 --> 01:20:03.346 You're fired. 01:20:03.386 --> 01:20:03.907 You're fired. 01:20:03.987 --> 01:20:05.148 That is nonsense! 01:20:05.168 --> 01:20:05.709 You're fired. 01:20:05.929 --> 01:20:06.890 Oh, that's nonsense. 01:20:06.910 --> 01:20:07.111 Is it? 01:20:07.151 --> 01:20:07.511 Nonsense! 01:20:07.551 --> 01:20:07.932 Nonsense! 01:20:07.972 --> 01:20:08.412 Nonsense! 01:20:08.853 --> 01:20:10.155 No, but the nonsense fucking has gone off. 01:20:11.807 --> 01:20:13.908 So there was one nonsense from Sugar at the top there. 01:20:13.928 --> 01:20:14.468 I was confused. 01:20:14.488 --> 01:20:15.568 He put a lot of our own nonsense in there. 01:20:15.588 --> 01:20:17.129 And then it was flooded with our own nonsense. 01:20:17.809 --> 01:20:19.249 In order to sort of shore up the point. 01:20:20.450 --> 01:20:20.990 It was good though. 01:20:21.030 --> 01:20:22.870 He said the word nonsense in an angry voice. 01:20:24.211 --> 01:20:25.071 And that's good enough for me. 01:20:25.331 --> 01:20:27.332 Thank you very much Peter Fellows for pointing that out. 01:20:27.552 --> 01:20:32.513 And I will be watching The Apprentice eagerly again this Wednesday to find out what they get up to. 01:20:32.633 --> 01:20:33.014 I will not. 01:20:33.214 --> 01:20:33.734 That's balance. 01:20:33.774 --> 01:20:34.374 That's balance. 01:20:34.574 --> 01:20:35.094 That's balance. 01:20:35.114 --> 01:20:36.695 Well, you're going to be in the United States. 01:20:36.775 --> 01:20:37.135 Exactly. 01:20:37.175 --> 01:20:37.716 So I will not. 01:20:38.156 --> 01:20:38.656 You're America. 01:20:38.856 --> 01:20:39.477 Congratulations. 01:20:39.877 --> 01:20:40.818 Here's some more music right now. 01:20:40.918 --> 01:20:45.080 Listeners, this is Friendly Fires with Live Those Days Tonight. 01:20:45.660 --> 01:20:48.802 That is a melging of a number of... A melging? 01:20:48.982 --> 01:20:50.163 Yeah, I've created that word. 01:20:50.743 --> 01:21:12.806 a number of kind of sounds and genres and it's uh put in a big pot there and mixed up by the friendly fires to great effect thank you very much chaps this is adam and joe here on bbc6 music and here is a message that we got in the week incidentally if you would like to contribute in any way to this program with your jingles anything that you've made or drawn or anything you want to say or contribute to any of our 01:21:13.426 --> 01:21:13.866 topics. 01:21:14.367 --> 01:21:18.649 It's adamandjoe.sixmusic at bbc.co.uk. 01:21:18.669 --> 01:21:23.032 That is the email address throughout the week if you're listening to this show on Listen Again or whatever. 01:21:23.092 --> 01:21:24.153 Don't text us during the week. 01:21:24.473 --> 01:21:25.173 It'll just vanish! 01:21:25.754 --> 01:21:28.896 Did we tell listeners that Taffen is actually on BBC One on the 22nd of May? 01:21:28.996 --> 01:21:29.356 Is it? 01:21:29.616 --> 01:21:29.876 Yeah. 01:21:30.016 --> 01:21:30.476 Good effort. 01:21:30.537 --> 01:21:37.901 If you want to catch Brosnan doing some incredibly powerful... Then maybe you shouldn't be living here! 01:21:40.222 --> 01:21:42.383 Then tune into BBC One on the 22nd of May. 01:21:42.523 --> 01:21:51.326 Here's a message from Lewis who says, and this kind of slightly reminded me of our Texanation subject, which was the Cook's, you know, the new formulas for cooking programs. 01:21:52.907 --> 01:22:02.471 Dear Adam and Joe, I was reading an article about how to make the perfect chilli con carne and remembered something that had happened to me a few years ago that I thought would make a good Texanation subject. 01:22:02.931 --> 01:22:09.097 My parents went away one weekend so I decided to have some friends over and cook a huge pot of chilli to make burritos. 01:22:09.558 --> 01:22:15.063 I wanted this to be a really really great chilli so I started about 12 in the afternoon aiming to eat about 8 at night. 01:22:15.383 --> 01:22:20.228 I put all the good stuff in the pot and then left it bubbling away on a low heat for the rest of the day. 01:22:20.308 --> 01:22:23.151 My friends came over about 6 and we all started drinking. 01:22:23.571 --> 01:22:27.235 At 8 o'clock we decided that instead of eating the chilli we'd go to the pub for a little bit. 01:22:27.595 --> 01:22:30.778 It had been cooking all day so another hour would just make it more delicious. 01:22:31.058 --> 01:22:34.662 We came back at 11 o'clock, a little bit tooty and really hungry. 01:22:35.102 --> 01:22:38.345 Everyone else went into the living room to listen to music and I was left to finish the dinner. 01:22:38.606 --> 01:22:47.894 I chopped up some coriander to make it extra delicious and as I was throwing it in I noticed that I'd nicked one of my fingers with the knife and I was bleeding quite profusely. 01:22:48.455 --> 01:22:51.558 A large red pool of blood was sitting on top of the chilli 01:22:51.698 --> 01:22:52.659 What sort of a letter is this? 01:22:53.219 --> 01:22:54.501 It's from a vampire. 01:22:55.021 --> 01:22:55.822 So I had a quandary. 01:22:56.242 --> 01:22:57.203 Did I throw it away? 01:22:57.223 --> 01:22:59.105 It was delicious. 01:22:59.805 --> 01:23:09.675 Did I throw away my delicious chilli that I'd worked on so hard all day and make something else, or did I just stir in the blood and not mention to anyone what had happened? 01:23:10.075 --> 01:23:15.460 So I put a plaster on my finger, served up the chilli, and never told anyone about the blood. 01:23:15.740 --> 01:23:18.961 It's still generally agreed that it was the best chilli I ever made. 01:23:19.101 --> 01:23:19.921 Lots of love, Lewis. 01:23:19.961 --> 01:23:20.682 That's terrible. 01:23:21.022 --> 01:23:26.344 If anyone's seen a Japanese film called Confessions, which I highly recommend, they won't like that story. 01:23:26.624 --> 01:23:28.865 I mean, Lewis, you're basically like... I think it's Japanese. 01:23:29.285 --> 01:23:31.786 He's a kind of Sweeney Todd with a twist, isn't it? 01:23:31.906 --> 01:23:34.747 Like, he's serving up... I think that's absolutely not the thing to do. 01:23:34.967 --> 01:23:37.087 I think you throw the flippin' chilli away. 01:23:37.187 --> 01:23:37.728 Yeah, you reckon. 01:23:37.848 --> 01:23:38.628 Yeah, you don't. 01:23:38.828 --> 01:23:39.728 You just don't. 01:23:40.208 --> 01:23:40.489 You know? 01:23:40.509 --> 01:23:44.690 I would like to say, on behalf of the big British castle, don't bleed into food. 01:23:44.830 --> 01:23:46.812 Obviously don't bleed into food. 01:23:47.212 --> 01:23:50.195 But I mean, if you've got like a little drop, would you draw the line? 01:23:50.216 --> 01:23:52.298 Yeah, I kind of would. 01:23:52.978 --> 01:23:53.919 Was it a little tiny drop? 01:23:53.939 --> 01:23:55.281 Well, no, he's saying it's a big pool of blood. 01:23:55.501 --> 01:23:56.682 Well, in that case, yeah. 01:23:57.583 --> 01:23:57.943 I don't know. 01:23:58.003 --> 01:23:59.485 Even if it was just a little drop, you'd suck it. 01:24:00.766 --> 01:24:01.046 Yeah. 01:24:01.686 --> 01:24:02.367 Well, no, hang on. 01:24:02.847 --> 01:24:06.608 If it's hot food and it's being boiled, then you might be all right? 01:24:06.768 --> 01:24:07.228 I don't know. 01:24:07.288 --> 01:24:08.808 A doctor could... I mean, what am I talking about? 01:24:08.848 --> 01:24:09.409 I'm a doctor. 01:24:09.789 --> 01:24:10.949 So, yeah, throw the food away. 01:24:10.969 --> 01:24:11.769 Throw the food away. 01:24:11.789 --> 01:24:12.690 Er on the side of caution. 01:24:12.730 --> 01:24:13.890 Get rid of it and start again. 01:24:13.910 --> 01:24:14.690 It's not worth it. 01:24:15.110 --> 01:24:17.511 Did you know that many diseases are carried in the blood? 01:24:17.771 --> 01:24:18.532 I did know that. 01:24:18.813 --> 01:24:19.293 I did know that. 01:24:19.313 --> 01:24:21.817 I mean, it would be a shame if he found out retrospectively. 01:24:21.837 --> 01:24:22.457 It's not worth it. 01:24:22.518 --> 01:24:26.002 However tasty the chili con carne is, it just isn't worth it. 01:24:26.323 --> 01:24:30.689 But if your friends were vampires... Then it's a different kettle of chili con carne. 01:24:30.709 --> 01:24:31.990 They would thank you for it. 01:24:32.091 --> 01:24:33.713 They would be upset if you hadn't nicked your finger. 01:24:34.013 --> 01:24:35.175 Here's a bit of free play fun. 01:24:35.775 --> 01:24:41.642 This is Joe Jackson and somebody just texted earlier and requested this. 01:24:41.702 --> 01:24:49.952 We don't really do requests but as I hadn't got any free plays, I can't remember the person's name because it's gone down on the text screen but you know who you are if you're still listening and this is a great track. 01:24:49.972 --> 01:24:51.314 This is Joe Jackson with Steppin' Out. 01:24:54.215 --> 01:25:04.319 With Stepping Out, that's one of those songs you can put on a playlist and when you're in a party situation and whenever it pops up, everyone will say, oh, this song, this is great. 01:25:04.359 --> 01:25:05.140 Yeah, everyone over 35. 01:25:06.874 --> 01:25:08.636 This is Adam and Joe, this is BBC6 Music. 01:25:08.656 --> 01:25:11.337 Thanks very much for listening listeners, thanks for all your contributions. 01:25:11.378 --> 01:25:17.482 Don't forget this programme will be available as a podcast from the usual outlets from later this afternoon stroke early evening. 01:25:17.742 --> 01:25:27.289 You can also listen to it via listen again on the BBC iPlayer and we, well I won't be back but next week Adam will be co-presenting with the fantastic Garth Jennings and there'll be a song wars. 01:25:27.709 --> 01:25:28.370 There will be a song wars. 01:25:28.410 --> 01:25:29.050 So tune in for that 01:25:29.270 --> 01:25:29.690 excitement. 01:25:29.730 --> 01:25:41.773 I mean it's going to be a strange show I suppose and we lovely see Garth again but one of your functions you know on this show one of your many functions is to carry with you a large bucket of scorn to be used to... It's going to be an unusually positive show. 01:25:41.793 --> 01:25:47.435 ... pour on some of my more excessive moments so I will be... Garth is more like complicit he's more... 01:25:47.935 --> 01:25:59.843 Garth is super positive and smiley and he lets me get away with murder so it might be just a horrifically ludicrous shouty, stupid, lavatorial show next week so look forward to that. 01:26:00.884 --> 01:26:09.529 Stay tuned for Liz Kershaw, she's coming up next and right now we've got the Stranglers for you but have a lovely week, take care, I love you, bye!