WEBVTT 00:07.315 --> 00:13.697 There'll be some music and some random talking in between and then eventually the whole thing will just end. 00:14.757 --> 00:15.977 That's good sound though, isn't it? 00:16.337 --> 00:18.958 The problem is I just can't get it off. 00:19.518 --> 00:22.899 The Union Jack that I painted all over my face yesterday. 00:22.959 --> 00:23.319 Yeah. 00:23.499 --> 00:26.120 I actually painted a Union Jack all over my body. 00:26.640 --> 00:28.600 Are you supposed to call it the Union flag though? 00:28.740 --> 00:28.980 Really? 00:29.140 --> 00:30.741 I think Union Jack's very racist. 00:30.941 --> 00:31.261 Is it? 00:31.341 --> 00:31.601 Yeah. 00:32.830 --> 00:34.031 But you look good with it, man. 00:34.051 --> 00:34.451 Thanks a lot. 00:34.511 --> 00:36.252 I just shouldn't have done it with indelible pens. 00:36.312 --> 00:38.653 Why did you do it all over your scrotum as well, though? 00:38.693 --> 00:40.094 Just because it felt festive. 00:40.174 --> 00:40.434 Yeah. 00:41.094 --> 00:41.334 Yeah. 00:41.855 --> 00:42.855 Yeah, well it looks good. 00:43.035 --> 00:44.256 I mean, I think it looks nice. 00:44.396 --> 00:45.016 Thanks very much. 00:45.076 --> 00:49.799 I hope everybody else is recovering from their royal wedding festivities. 00:49.939 --> 00:52.200 Unless, of course, you avoided the entire thing. 00:52.240 --> 00:53.060 Some people did that. 00:53.100 --> 00:54.001 Some people boycotted it. 00:54.261 --> 00:57.863 John Sim was on the One show the other day. 00:57.903 --> 00:58.103 Yes. 00:58.863 --> 01:01.525 And he was being rather grumpy about the whole thing. 01:01.665 --> 01:01.925 Was he? 01:02.145 --> 01:04.990 I was grumpy until about three or four minutes before. 01:05.210 --> 01:05.551 Same here. 01:05.651 --> 01:08.856 But then I started getting Fergie fever. 01:10.228 --> 01:22.880 I was expecting to get Kate and Will's fever, but actually when you get Fergie fever, which I did in the 80s, it's dormant in the spine and it can be revivified by any royal activity. 01:23.541 --> 01:28.346 So I suddenly got the sweats and I got a fever for the ginger-haired royal. 01:29.327 --> 01:30.188 My favourite royal. 01:30.328 --> 01:31.730 I'm outraged she wasn't there. 01:32.330 --> 01:32.791 Was she not? 01:33.512 --> 01:34.052 I don't think so. 01:34.833 --> 01:36.395 I'm not sure she was. 01:36.415 --> 01:37.537 Because of the suitcases and money. 01:38.638 --> 01:40.240 But I had a good time, I enjoyed it. 01:40.501 --> 01:41.182 It was great man. 01:41.202 --> 01:42.383 Did you go to any street parties? 01:42.423 --> 01:42.564 Nope. 01:43.456 --> 02:12.019 you're not even aware of a street party happening no oh man they were happening everywhere I walked around the corner one weird thing that happened to me I was walking out to get a can of fizzy pop from the corner store right I was working away on jingles and stuff I thought I'll have a fizzy pop break so I went out and drifting out from over someone's garden I could hear someone playing breathe in the air by Pink Floyd but it was on a guitar and I'm staying like around Kensington area and 02:12.139 --> 02:18.981 And the voice was exactly that of, I thought it was, what's his name, Gilmore, or whoever sings that. 02:19.521 --> 02:22.843 And I thought, Oh, my goodness, Dave Gilmore's in someone's garden. 02:23.503 --> 02:25.483 And he's regaling people with Breathe in the Air. 02:25.924 --> 02:28.685 To me, it seemed like a completely possible scenario. 02:29.025 --> 02:30.045 But it was just a guy in a pub. 02:31.527 --> 02:36.690 Doing a very good version though, for a street party that was outside, all the pub doors open, it was a lovely scene. 02:36.870 --> 02:45.095 But we should say good morning to our listeners this Adam and Jo on BBC6 Music, we've got an action packed show coming up, for the first time in months we have Song Wars for you. 02:45.295 --> 02:52.880 Yeah that's right, we've composed original songs, myself and Jo for Kate and Will's The Happy Couple, we're going to be unveiling those. 02:53.360 --> 02:54.901 in around about an hour, I would say. 02:54.941 --> 02:59.683 We're gonna have textination, we're gonna have retro textination, we're gonna have made-up jokes, we're gonna have traveler's tales. 03:00.003 --> 03:03.684 This show's like a little, lovely, juicy satsuma full of segments. 03:03.924 --> 03:05.705 Yeah, the show used to have just two features. 03:05.945 --> 03:07.506 The skin comes off really easy as well. 03:07.566 --> 03:12.628 And now it's got so many features, it's like a grotesque portrait by Picasso. 03:13.228 --> 03:14.229 You know what I mean? 03:14.449 --> 03:16.750 Yes, I do, with all sorts of fragmented features. 03:16.990 --> 03:19.731 Yeah, but listen, we should activate the squadron, shouldn't we? 03:19.871 --> 03:20.291 Right now? 03:20.511 --> 03:21.091 Let's do it! 03:22.612 --> 03:26.013 Black Squadron! 03:26.033 --> 03:33.716 Always catch the beginning of the show Black Squadron don't wanna miss a thing That's not the way Black Squadron rolls Black Squadron! 03:36.877 --> 03:44.519 Went to bed at a reasonable hour Gotta be sharp on Saturday morning That's the secret of the squadron 03:49.198 --> 03:53.361 Black Squadron, the elite listening force who listen to this program live on air for the first hour. 03:53.441 --> 03:56.363 So if you're listening right now live, that means you. 03:57.304 --> 04:07.672 They're a squadron that love waffles and they tune in for the most waffle packed part of the show, the part of the show where we're still half asleep, getting ourselves together, not quite sure what's happening. 04:08.212 --> 04:10.994 And it's really a very stodgy waffle area. 04:11.255 --> 04:14.217 But the squadron don't mind because they thrive on waffles. 04:14.657 --> 04:17.319 We are about to issue Black Squadron a single word command. 04:17.519 --> 04:33.990 You have to get your photographic devices, take a photo of yourself executing that command and then send it in to us here at BBC6music via text on 64046 or via email adamandjoe.6music at bbc.co.uk. 04:34.010 --> 04:35.071 It's a risky one this morning. 04:35.765 --> 04:37.266 I don't even know which one you're going to go for. 04:37.446 --> 04:37.946 Oh, that one. 04:38.007 --> 04:38.967 I'm going to go for that one. 04:39.067 --> 04:39.287 Do it. 04:39.568 --> 04:42.249 Do we need to give any mitigating information? 04:42.289 --> 04:45.432 So you can interpret the single word command in any way you want. 04:45.532 --> 04:45.972 Yeah. 04:46.112 --> 04:47.513 But don't hurt each other. 04:47.653 --> 04:48.173 No, exactly. 04:48.193 --> 04:49.234 Do not hurt each other. 04:49.474 --> 04:51.456 Or any animals or anything like that. 04:51.556 --> 04:52.336 Just pretend. 04:52.556 --> 04:52.837 Yeah. 04:53.017 --> 04:54.257 That's the most important thing. 04:54.318 --> 04:54.818 Are we ready? 04:54.998 --> 04:55.378 Absolutely. 04:55.398 --> 04:56.319 What record are we going to go into? 04:56.339 --> 04:58.580 We're going to go into The Cure, appropriately enough. 04:59.241 --> 05:00.602 Here comes your command, Black Squadron. 05:00.962 --> 05:02.323 It is surgery. 05:03.035 --> 05:04.016 Why can't I be you? 05:04.076 --> 05:04.956 That's the cure. 05:05.896 --> 05:09.398 Just be yourself, Robert Smith, with your bird's nest hair. 05:09.438 --> 05:10.359 That's the best way to go. 05:10.619 --> 05:15.101 I was panicking there for a moment, because there appeared to be zero Black Squadron responses. 05:15.181 --> 05:15.501 Oh, really? 05:15.942 --> 05:17.743 Yeah, but there seemed to be four. 05:18.123 --> 05:18.923 OK, well, that's all right. 05:19.003 --> 05:20.724 Well, it's quite a complex one. 05:20.804 --> 05:21.805 It is a complex one. 05:22.085 --> 05:22.565 Surgery. 05:23.466 --> 05:24.946 I mean, you can interpret that any way you want. 05:24.966 --> 05:27.668 What sort of thing were you imagining, Adam, that we might get? 05:28.508 --> 05:36.332 I was hoping for someone covered, like people covered with white sheets and then... A sort of ER type situation. 05:36.473 --> 05:36.693 Yeah. 05:36.793 --> 05:38.033 People with face masks on. 05:38.113 --> 05:38.794 Bright lights. 05:38.994 --> 05:41.155 Maybe somebody lying across the kitchen table. 05:41.375 --> 05:43.837 Yeah, a creative... Pulling a string of sausages. 05:44.157 --> 05:44.457 Exactly. 05:44.497 --> 05:46.138 Out of their tummy, that kind of thing. 05:46.218 --> 05:48.279 Giving birth to... A melon. 05:48.419 --> 05:49.300 A melon, that's right. 05:49.520 --> 05:49.920 Exactly. 05:50.180 --> 05:53.123 Well that's... we can but dream. 05:55.165 --> 06:00.469 Hey man, this is an exciting week coming up because I'm going to a exciting movie premiere. 06:01.010 --> 06:01.450 Are you now? 06:01.550 --> 06:01.810 Yeah. 06:02.251 --> 06:02.631 My one? 06:02.911 --> 06:05.414 Yeah, the Attack the Block movie premiere on Wednesday. 06:05.954 --> 06:06.174 Yes. 06:06.494 --> 06:10.316 And I want your advice though, sartorially. 06:10.676 --> 06:10.957 Yes. 06:11.337 --> 06:13.098 What in heckins am I going to wear? 06:13.118 --> 06:13.918 What are you expecting? 06:13.958 --> 06:14.999 Is it a black tie thing? 06:15.339 --> 06:15.859 No, no, no. 06:16.479 --> 06:17.880 It's interesting, isn't it? 06:17.900 --> 06:22.262 Did I tell you this story when I went to the royal premiere of The Lovely Bones? 06:22.542 --> 06:23.563 You wore your trainers. 06:23.723 --> 06:28.465 I wore my trainers and I got all sorts of grief from my lady friend about wearing my trainers. 06:28.905 --> 06:32.447 She thought I might be executed or sent to the chopping block. 06:32.647 --> 06:33.247 You should have been. 06:33.267 --> 06:34.008 Same thing, really. 06:34.728 --> 06:41.692 But when I turned up there, after all this anxiety, a lot of people were in black tie, but a lot of people were just rolling up dressed completely casually. 06:42.192 --> 06:43.313 Leather jackets and jeans. 06:43.973 --> 06:45.174 And I wanted to execute them. 06:45.274 --> 06:46.915 That's totally disrespectful, yeah. 06:46.935 --> 06:48.276 Because you had a suit and tie on, right? 06:48.796 --> 06:49.036 I did. 06:49.056 --> 06:50.297 What are you going to wear this Wednesday? 06:50.317 --> 06:52.298 I'm going to wear a suit and tie, but I'm the director. 06:52.918 --> 06:54.799 I have to look all proper. 06:54.979 --> 06:57.321 But you, as the director, you could wear pretty much anything. 06:57.341 --> 07:01.043 You could wear a sort of insane Lady Gaga hat, sorry, director. 07:01.463 --> 07:01.743 Yes. 07:02.444 --> 07:04.466 Could I for just to be charismatic and crazy? 07:04.486 --> 07:06.567 Yeah, you could go topless with just nipple tassels. 07:06.607 --> 07:07.988 Yeah, why be Denny different though? 07:08.148 --> 07:09.309 Why be Denny different? 07:10.070 --> 07:11.591 Why would you want to be Denny different? 07:11.631 --> 07:12.032 You don't. 07:12.192 --> 07:13.313 So just go in a suit. 07:13.633 --> 07:14.053 Exactly. 07:14.073 --> 07:14.914 Why Denny different? 07:14.934 --> 07:16.615 Take your own advice, Count Bucky Lee. 07:16.675 --> 07:17.196 Exactly. 07:17.256 --> 07:17.816 Denny different. 07:17.976 --> 07:20.358 You're probably going in some kind of... You're very inconsistent. 07:20.378 --> 07:21.559 That's true, isn't it? 07:21.579 --> 07:22.300 Your illegicity. 07:22.580 --> 07:22.900 Yeah. 07:23.240 --> 07:26.601 So I thought I might go for a suit, but I'm probably gonna rock some trainers. 07:26.981 --> 07:27.182 Right. 07:27.502 --> 07:27.762 Yeah. 07:28.102 --> 07:28.522 Suit and trainers. 07:28.542 --> 07:30.323 And I don't know whether I'm going to do a tie or not. 07:30.463 --> 07:31.243 What am I going to do? 07:31.303 --> 07:32.203 I can't wear suits. 07:32.283 --> 07:32.663 Loopy. 07:32.723 --> 07:33.063 Loopy. 07:33.103 --> 07:34.364 Heck, I might not wear a tie. 07:34.384 --> 07:35.124 Are you not? 07:35.264 --> 07:36.525 I might throw caution to the wind. 07:37.345 --> 07:38.665 A shirt rakishly unbuttoned. 07:38.785 --> 07:41.406 Imagine how the women will respond to... What's that bit called there? 07:41.566 --> 07:42.046 The nape. 07:42.407 --> 07:42.867 The nape. 07:43.187 --> 07:45.948 Imagine what the ladies will do when they see me completely naping. 07:45.988 --> 07:46.228 Stop. 07:47.228 --> 07:48.649 I'm absolutely stark naked. 07:49.689 --> 07:50.809 Start drooling on the nape. 07:51.130 --> 07:53.450 I'd love some suggestions if anyone's listening. 07:53.470 --> 07:55.411 Are you looking for something that'll be attention-grabbing? 07:55.491 --> 07:58.873 Well the thing is that I've, no not at all, I just want to blend in but I want to look cool. 07:58.913 --> 08:00.273 I'd love to look cool. 08:00.293 --> 08:01.393 My web's always, we're past that now. 08:01.413 --> 08:02.334 It's not gonna happen is it? 08:02.374 --> 08:02.614 No. 08:03.174 --> 08:05.455 I wish someone could make me look cool. 08:05.975 --> 08:10.117 All my, all my clothes are just like a stupid 18 year old's clothes. 08:11.197 --> 08:14.819 And then I cycle around everywhere, so I just have to wear practical stupid 18 year old clothes. 08:14.839 --> 08:17.139 You've got a good suit, wear a suit. 08:17.159 --> 08:18.820 I look like fat Sam in my suit. 08:19.760 --> 08:20.601 You look good. 08:20.661 --> 08:23.262 Somebody out there is probably a clothes designer. 08:23.362 --> 08:26.123 And clothes designers have amazing skills for sketching, don't they? 08:26.463 --> 08:32.105 So they should do, someone might do one of those amazing sketches to design a premiere outfit for Bucky Lee. 08:32.165 --> 08:34.386 Can't someone just style me for the day? 08:35.626 --> 08:54.547 black squadron right but listen can't someone just style me for the attack the block premiere you're looking for a stylist yeah and you'll get all i mean because there's gonna be a paparazzi mob friendlies three photographers dr buckles is gonna be all over the front of every single newspaper the next day your design could be seen by everyone in the uk that's the gauntlet i'm throwing down 08:54.707 --> 08:56.609 Here's a free play for you right now, listeners. 08:56.829 --> 08:57.870 What are free plays, Joe? 08:58.050 --> 09:04.595 Free plays are songs that are selected by you or I that are distinct from the playlist as issued to us by our producer, Jay. 09:04.656 --> 09:07.938 They have broken free from the cage of the playlist. 09:07.958 --> 09:09.300 They're songs that stray from the path. 09:09.400 --> 09:09.980 That's true. 09:10.320 --> 09:13.943 This is from one of our favourite albums, prefab sprout Steve McQueen. 09:14.324 --> 09:14.644 Came out in 1985. 09:15.825 --> 09:21.788 Did you know that Steve McQueen, this is a true fact, not a made up fact, was released in the US as Two Wheels Good? 09:21.848 --> 09:22.348 I did, yeah. 09:22.448 --> 09:25.189 Because the actor's estate had a problem with it. 09:25.209 --> 09:25.689 I did know that. 09:25.989 --> 09:27.050 Tell me something I don't know. 09:28.871 --> 09:30.031 I'm amazing. 09:30.812 --> 09:31.172 Really? 09:32.052 --> 09:35.694 This is called Moving the River, which I thought I'd dedicate to Wilson Cate. 09:35.834 --> 09:40.956 Not the lyrical content, but I just thought it's a nice song for, like, when you're in the glow of love. 09:41.476 --> 09:42.296 Do you think they're listening? 09:42.496 --> 09:43.257 Yeah, definitely. 09:43.277 --> 09:45.157 Because they've got a good sense of humour. 09:45.177 --> 09:48.038 They've got G-S-O-H. 09:48.439 --> 09:49.239 This is for you guys. 09:51.038 --> 09:55.060 That's the gangsters by the specials. 09:55.400 --> 09:56.940 Adam and Joe here on BBC6Music. 09:57.160 --> 10:02.242 We asked you, Black Squadron, to send in your photographs interpreting the command, Surgery. 10:02.662 --> 10:04.763 Maybe we should have thought this through more carefully. 10:05.263 --> 10:08.124 I mean, we've got an amazing mix of photographs. 10:08.524 --> 10:15.026 We did, of course, caution you to be extremely careful when reconstructing, you know, such a potentially invasive pursuit. 10:16.607 --> 10:19.408 And one or two people have sent in actual photos. 10:20.358 --> 10:22.020 of surgery they've recently had done. 10:22.040 --> 10:26.963 Some guy sent in a picture of his duffed up hand with like some big gnarly scars. 10:27.023 --> 10:27.744 Please don't do that. 10:27.784 --> 10:30.606 We won't put them up on the blog if we can because they're too gut-wrenching. 10:30.626 --> 10:32.927 There's other places on the internet where you can find all that. 10:33.088 --> 10:35.649 But there are some wonderfully light and innocent and fun ones. 10:35.689 --> 10:40.333 Jessica and Charlotte from Suffolk have dressed up as two extremely capable looking nurses. 10:40.393 --> 10:41.133 Very sweet nurses. 10:41.153 --> 10:46.097 Don't you think they could do probably some quite complicated surgery, I'd imagine, but I wouldn't 10:46.437 --> 10:47.878 There's a sort of sweet real one. 10:47.898 --> 10:50.301 There's a lady bearing her butox, which is always nice. 10:50.321 --> 10:50.761 That's sweet. 10:51.081 --> 10:51.862 I think it's sweet. 10:52.122 --> 10:53.343 I just like to see lady's butox. 10:53.363 --> 10:55.385 Does that go in your file under S for sweet? 10:55.425 --> 10:55.846 Yes. 10:55.926 --> 10:56.486 Not in mine. 10:57.067 --> 10:59.509 She's got a sweet pair of... Under B for butox. 11:01.030 --> 11:10.639 There's one here... I have to say the reason she's bearing her butox is because she appears to have been wounded in them and she's got some surgical plasters over some lesions. 11:11.298 --> 11:13.240 I'm not making it sound sweet, am I? 11:13.320 --> 11:19.345 Claire and Andrew McCluskey from Edinburgh, Black Squadron unit in Edinburgh. 11:19.365 --> 11:20.566 Andrew McCluskey from OMD. 11:20.926 --> 11:21.607 Very possibly. 11:22.228 --> 11:27.892 It's a gentleman, it looks like, with his young daughter operating there, but quite effectively done, don't you think? 11:28.433 --> 11:29.374 Yes, very simple. 11:29.414 --> 11:31.996 Just, you know, some white sheets over the gentleman. 11:32.336 --> 11:36.220 They've put some ketchup on there and she's stabbing him with a knife and fork. 11:38.281 --> 11:40.063 And it's not actually doing that. 11:40.103 --> 11:40.604 No, she's not. 11:40.644 --> 11:42.766 We don't we don't care in an extremely safe manner. 11:43.287 --> 11:51.195 Roseanne in Portsmouth has appears to be doing heart surgery on her boyfriend, maybe your partner could be brother. 11:51.656 --> 11:52.256 We don't know. 11:52.416 --> 11:52.877 Or dad. 11:53.498 --> 11:54.579 Yeah, look what she got. 11:54.599 --> 11:55.560 She got a needle and thread. 11:55.580 --> 11:57.862 She's drawn a dotted line around the heart area. 11:59.183 --> 12:14.888 And she's put some ketchup on that dotted line, and it's as if she's sort of stitching the heart I know what kind of surgery that would be a good album cover I think do you think yet often we get these some black squadron photo commands We get some great photos that would just be good as album covers. 12:14.968 --> 12:19.230 I think yes and finally here is one from Mark and Zoe and 12:20.190 --> 12:33.575 and just all it says is wowzers that hurt and it looks like a picture of Mark and he's got a corkscrew yeah being it looks more like the cover of a 80s slasher film happy corkscrew to me or something it would be called 12:35.456 --> 12:36.337 Yeah. 12:36.437 --> 12:37.317 But yeah, he's having it. 12:37.337 --> 12:39.079 This is like dental surgery, isn't it? 12:39.219 --> 12:39.859 Crazy corkscrew. 12:39.899 --> 12:41.660 And he's in in he's in a lot of pain. 12:42.321 --> 12:43.622 Yeah, got a very good pain. 12:43.642 --> 12:45.523 Well, it's it's emergency surgery. 12:45.583 --> 12:49.746 There's something that the, you know, there's no doc nearby. 12:49.926 --> 12:55.590 So someone's just got a bottle opener out of their bag and they're going in with a corkscrew and it has to be done. 12:55.610 --> 12:56.910 Emergency what? 12:57.171 --> 12:57.651 Nothing. 12:57.831 --> 12:59.072 I've just seen another one. 12:59.392 --> 13:00.893 But no, I'll show you and I'll show you in a second. 13:00.913 --> 13:03.075 Let's go to a record. 13:03.135 --> 13:03.935 Here's Licky Lee. 13:03.975 --> 13:05.296 This is sadness is a blessing. 13:06.997 --> 13:08.037 Flippin' heck, Tucker. 13:08.478 --> 13:09.918 Sadness is her boyfriend. 13:11.619 --> 13:13.000 Why is she going out with Sadness? 13:13.660 --> 13:14.340 He's an idiot. 13:14.780 --> 13:19.063 That's Licky Lee, and this is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 13:19.143 --> 13:21.204 It's time to stand the squadron down. 13:21.224 --> 13:27.246 Stand down, your work is done. 13:27.266 --> 13:30.168 You've earned yourself a nice warm bath. 13:30.808 --> 13:32.329 And maybe a nice little bun. 13:35.922 --> 13:38.965 Okay, now listen, put your utensils down, Black Squadron. 13:39.426 --> 13:44.130 I don't know, I'm not sure many of these Black Squadron entries are going to make it to the blog. 13:44.170 --> 13:49.496 Some of them I'm afraid are not going to make it past the Big British Castle strict guidelines. 13:51.377 --> 13:56.543 But thank you very much for all your surgery picks, Squadron, and we'll be back with another command next week. 13:56.583 --> 13:58.965 Right now, it is 10.30 in time for the news. 14:00.459 --> 14:12.650 Ones and ones and ones... Is that the best song ever made? 14:13.030 --> 14:13.591 Very possibly. 14:13.611 --> 14:14.451 I think it might be. 14:14.591 --> 14:15.212 Very possibly. 14:15.232 --> 14:17.574 I think it is the best song ever. 14:17.694 --> 14:21.317 It would be a very difficult song to reproduce, wouldn't it? 14:21.417 --> 14:27.483 To try and restructure... It'd have to be a kind of a madman or a musical genius! 14:28.371 --> 14:28.891 Like who? 14:29.612 --> 14:30.272 Like Sam. 14:31.033 --> 14:34.796 Sam sent us this jingle for retro-textination that he'd done. 14:35.156 --> 14:38.979 He says, I don't quite know why I decided to spend most of an afternoon doing this. 14:39.339 --> 14:44.002 My girlfriend said I'll never get that time back, and I probably should have spent it planning... She's a fool! 14:44.022 --> 14:44.663 She's an idiot! 14:44.683 --> 14:45.483 Planning our wedding. 14:45.563 --> 14:45.903 Dump her. 14:45.923 --> 14:46.284 Dump her. 14:46.344 --> 14:49.626 Well, they're getting married in less than a month, so that's not necessarily on the cast. 14:49.646 --> 14:50.367 That's very exciting. 14:50.407 --> 14:50.747 Well done. 14:50.947 --> 14:53.108 She doesn't even listen to the podcast, he says. 14:53.329 --> 14:53.989 So I win! 14:54.249 --> 14:54.629 Yes! 14:55.569 --> 14:59.792 And you do win sound because we're going to play your jingle right now in the style of David Bowie. 15:00.052 --> 15:00.412 Here we go. 15:36.336 --> 15:37.297 Good use of time Sam. 15:37.337 --> 15:38.558 He's even got the mumbling in there. 15:38.638 --> 15:39.498 Amazingly good. 15:39.538 --> 15:43.480 Do you think that actually might be Bowie himself under a pseudonym? 15:43.821 --> 15:45.642 I think it's so likely. 15:47.063 --> 15:47.963 I think it definitely is. 15:47.983 --> 15:49.724 That's a good impression man. 15:50.064 --> 15:51.205 Thank you so much for that Sam. 15:51.445 --> 16:04.493 Yeah, retro text the nation, we are collecting a few of the messages that have come in over the week about last week's text the nation subject, which was modern technology misery bits of modern phenomena that have just made life a little bit broad, wasn't it? 16:04.533 --> 16:12.258 I realised while we when we got our suggestions in, I realised that actually, there were sort of 30 different text the nation nation subjects in there. 16:12.438 --> 16:16.960 Yeah, it's often the way you could do a whole one on on automatic checkouts, for instance, couldn't you? 16:17.000 --> 16:17.201 Right. 16:18.121 --> 16:20.543 or on automated telephone answering. 16:20.563 --> 16:21.323 You could do a whole one. 16:21.383 --> 16:23.865 Hey man, we probably will at some stage. 16:24.326 --> 16:28.008 Here is one right now from Stu in London. 16:28.068 --> 16:37.695 He's a mailman and he says, hi Adam and Joe, have you noticed that there's a pause between pressing the button on a TV or DVD player remote control and the actual response on the screen? 16:37.975 --> 16:41.578 This pause seems to be getting longer and longer with each new generation of equipment. 16:41.958 --> 16:44.860 Blu-ray players take ages to respond. 16:45.360 --> 16:53.727 Back in the day, it seemed like just a quirk of technology, but now I feel they're being wilfully disobedient, and that this is the first sign of machines becoming sentient and forming an uprising. 16:53.968 --> 16:55.028 Welcome your views on the matter. 16:55.329 --> 16:56.390 Totally agree. 16:56.430 --> 16:57.190 Completely agree. 16:57.210 --> 17:01.274 The time it takes for a Blu-ray machine to turn on... Why is he flipping doing that? 17:01.294 --> 17:01.734 It's absurd. 17:01.874 --> 17:05.057 It's like it's... The time it takes to loathe... Psycing himself up. 17:05.557 --> 17:06.078 He's absurd. 17:06.098 --> 17:07.439 I wonder what you filmed, eh? 17:07.979 --> 17:10.081 Alright, I'll be... And it displays a little message. 17:10.241 --> 17:12.203 Hello, just wait a minute, please. 17:12.463 --> 17:16.764 Wait a minute, the fridge doesn't say that to me when I want to get something fridgey out of it. 17:16.824 --> 17:19.145 And don't get me started on how long the warnings take. 17:19.205 --> 17:23.206 You know, the unskippable warnings, the unskippable trailers on a Disney movie. 17:23.226 --> 17:28.067 We've talked about that before, but it's just, it's a phenomenon that's just getting even more maddening and ludicrous. 17:28.207 --> 17:36.329 In fact, we've been discussing that for the animated menus on our DVD, because I want to do animated menus, but sometimes they take ages, don't they? 17:36.349 --> 17:42.090 And once you're over the animation, every time you put the DVD in vents forth, it's incredibly tedious. 17:42.310 --> 17:42.931 Yeah, exactly. 17:43.051 --> 17:44.793 We solved all those problems on the Adam and Joe movie. 17:44.813 --> 17:45.314 Worst offender? 17:45.474 --> 17:45.895 The Abyss. 17:46.135 --> 17:46.836 Special edition. 17:46.996 --> 17:47.216 Really? 17:47.336 --> 17:49.539 Oh yes, I know you have to navigate round that roof, don't you? 17:49.559 --> 17:51.161 The water tentacle, yeah, takes forever. 17:51.181 --> 17:52.663 It's absolutely ludicrous. 17:52.923 --> 17:55.387 So I agree with you, thank you very much, Stu in London. 17:55.927 --> 17:57.049 Blu-ray players. 17:57.749 --> 17:59.371 Here is one from Naomi in Bath. 17:59.451 --> 18:01.473 She says the smartphone thing really hit a nerve. 18:01.553 --> 18:05.176 I'm a mature student so I have a few friends who are about 10 years younger than me. 18:05.256 --> 18:15.444 I refuse to watch any movie I care about with them because when I've taken DVDs round to some of their houses they can't watch for more than 10 minutes without texting on their Blackberries. 18:15.965 --> 18:21.910 I've tried taking all their phones and hiding them down the side of the sofa but if they bleep my friends can't relax until they've checked them. 18:22.430 --> 18:28.413 Add to this the overall slower pace of films made before the 2000s, and their attention spans just can't cope. 18:28.773 --> 18:30.174 It drives me crazy! 18:30.334 --> 18:30.834 It's true. 18:30.894 --> 18:37.437 We're now reduced to watching things like The Karate Kid together, as I don't get stressed if I miss parts of a film like that. 18:37.657 --> 18:39.378 What, the remake or the original, I wonder? 18:39.418 --> 18:39.898 Who knows? 18:40.258 --> 18:41.098 They're both very good. 18:41.578 --> 18:42.319 Yeah. 18:42.379 --> 18:42.919 I'm serious. 18:42.959 --> 18:43.919 I think they are both very good. 18:43.940 --> 18:44.240 Sorry. 18:44.480 --> 18:45.740 They both are very good. 18:46.100 --> 18:47.041 The second one is good, isn't it? 18:47.881 --> 18:48.702 Yeah. 18:48.842 --> 18:51.544 Is that because you know someone is? 18:51.584 --> 18:54.807 It's because it made about 500 million dollars worldwide. 18:55.087 --> 18:55.788 Very successful. 18:56.028 --> 18:58.530 And if it's successful in my book that means it's good. 18:58.550 --> 18:59.991 It means it's very very good. 19:00.251 --> 19:02.533 What are they texting though when they're watching the movie? 19:02.653 --> 19:03.774 Are they just texting about other stuff? 19:03.794 --> 19:05.515 They're texting and watching movies. 19:06.596 --> 19:11.238 Gotta love that bit in Karate Kid that I'm not watching because I'm texting you. 19:12.198 --> 19:18.040 Now we're talking about cinema or automated phenomena as well, like phone robot voices last week. 19:18.500 --> 19:23.262 And here's a message from someone who's been on one of those cinema lines when you go and you phone up for the cinema times. 19:24.122 --> 19:25.302 and you get the robot guy. 19:25.342 --> 19:34.164 I mean obviously you could go online, but sometimes maybe that's not an option, you don't have broadband or whatever, so here's someone who phoned up. 19:34.504 --> 19:43.506 Dear Duckles, Dear Buckles and Cornballs, I was particularly moved to email in and agree with the frustration that Joe displayed at voice recognition telephone calls. 19:44.066 --> 19:48.167 I recorded me on a call to a well-known cinema chain trying to get the film times out of them. 19:48.227 --> 19:53.488 I was so enraged by the end of the call, I needed a long bath and a sit down in a quiet room listening to some Coldplay. 19:53.848 --> 19:54.248 warm bottom. 19:54.608 --> 19:55.589 And a nice warm bottom. 19:56.049 --> 19:59.692 Later I realised that I should have just used the internet for that type of thing. 19:59.872 --> 20:02.593 Keep up the good work, yours faithfully Jake from South London. 20:02.914 --> 20:04.374 So here's Jake on the phone. 20:04.394 --> 20:09.818 I'm just going to let this play because it amused me and it more or less sums up everything that's wrong with modern life I think. 20:10.518 --> 20:14.601 Please say the name of the film you'd like to see or say what's on or more options. 20:15.261 --> 20:15.681 What's on? 20:16.542 --> 20:19.023 There are 26 films currently showing. 20:19.984 --> 20:22.946 You can interrupt me at any time by saying yes or no. 20:23.993 --> 20:25.374 And now, here are the films. 20:26.195 --> 20:30.678 Rio 3D Certificate U. Would you like this film? 20:31.419 --> 20:31.619 No. 20:32.780 --> 20:36.863 Rio Certificate U. Would you like this film? 20:37.403 --> 20:37.604 No. 20:38.644 --> 20:39.805 Fast and Furious 5. 20:41.226 --> 20:41.827 Yes, come on. 20:41.847 --> 20:42.427 Certificate 12A. 20:42.447 --> 20:42.688 Yes. 20:43.208 --> 20:44.009 Would you like this film? 20:44.029 --> 20:44.329 Yes. 20:44.369 --> 20:44.649 Yes. 20:44.769 --> 20:44.989 No. 20:45.290 --> 20:45.570 What? 20:46.070 --> 20:49.313 To speed things up, just interrupt me with yes or no. 20:50.407 --> 21:09.587 harp certificate you would you like this film no did you mean the film harp no okay the current film is harp certificate you the easter bunny gets funny in this brilliant comedy that mixes did you say the film no okay 21:17.086 --> 21:19.647 Oh my god, he's gone back to the beginning. 21:19.667 --> 21:19.988 Oh my god. 21:20.008 --> 21:20.108 No. 21:20.128 --> 21:20.168 No. 21:20.188 --> 21:20.308 No. 21:20.328 --> 21:20.388 No. 21:20.408 --> 21:20.508 No. 21:38.066 --> 21:39.346 There you go. 21:39.627 --> 21:40.867 Thanks so much, Jake, for that. 21:41.127 --> 21:43.388 Does that carry on there? 21:44.068 --> 21:45.129 How long does it go on for? 21:45.149 --> 21:46.749 That's the most... It's 10 minutes. 21:54.372 --> 21:54.992 Press 2. 21:55.333 --> 21:57.233 For the next serum, press 3. 21:57.634 --> 21:59.074 To book tickets, press 0. 21:59.475 --> 22:01.456 For a brief summary of the plot, press 5. 22:01.716 --> 22:04.757 I mean, they could use that in Guantanamo Bay, couldn't they? 22:04.817 --> 22:05.017 Yeah. 22:05.198 --> 22:06.618 That'd be an amazing torture technique. 22:06.678 --> 22:09.600 It sounds very counterintuitive, the way they've set that up. 22:10.180 --> 22:10.480 I know. 22:10.580 --> 22:15.842 And I mean, what about just saying the name of the film that you want to see instead of working through all to it now? 22:16.343 --> 22:21.485 Because presumably the software is not sufficiently sophisticated to recognize anything other than yes or no. 22:21.525 --> 22:24.146 Can I interrupt you at any point simply by saying no? 22:24.806 --> 22:25.566 Yes, you can. 22:25.606 --> 22:27.487 While you're talking, can I just say yes or no? 22:27.687 --> 22:28.748 Yeah, go on and then stop you. 22:29.068 --> 22:29.268 Yeah. 22:29.568 --> 22:30.668 Are we done with Texanation? 22:30.688 --> 22:32.269 Have you got more? 22:33.723 --> 22:34.743 Do you like to read any more? 22:34.883 --> 22:35.083 No. 22:36.904 --> 22:37.364 No, I don't. 22:37.464 --> 22:38.104 I don't have any more. 22:38.124 --> 22:38.744 That's very good. 22:38.784 --> 22:40.405 Thank you very much for everybody sending in. 22:41.025 --> 22:45.786 The Easter Bunny goes crazy in this enjoyable family comedy with Russell Brand. 22:45.926 --> 22:47.327 Would you definitely like to see it? 22:47.867 --> 22:48.087 No. 22:48.447 --> 22:48.647 No. 22:49.067 --> 22:49.748 Are you sure? 22:50.708 --> 22:51.548 What about Arthur? 22:52.008 --> 22:52.708 Here's the kinks. 22:56.021 --> 22:57.824 That's the Kinkles with You Really Got Me. 22:57.864 --> 23:00.547 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 23:00.768 --> 23:04.072 Very nice to be with you, this lovely sunny Saturday afternoon, listeners. 23:04.353 --> 23:05.474 Hope it's sunny where you are. 23:05.515 --> 23:09.160 If it's not, I'm very, very sorry we can't be held responsible. 23:09.875 --> 23:13.520 I think it's less sunny in the west of England. 23:14.481 --> 23:16.804 Devon and Somerset looking a little bit cloudy. 23:17.304 --> 23:17.605 Really? 23:17.785 --> 23:19.928 But the east of England is all white. 23:20.228 --> 23:20.809 Oh, that's good. 23:21.009 --> 23:21.750 That's good. 23:21.890 --> 23:22.972 That's the only bit I care about. 23:23.072 --> 23:23.592 East angular. 23:23.893 --> 23:24.173 Yes. 23:24.714 --> 23:26.316 Now here's a free play coming up from me. 23:26.356 --> 23:27.277 Are we ready for this? 23:27.297 --> 23:28.739 Are we just going to go straight into this free play? 23:28.959 --> 23:30.780 Let's just roll right into this role. 23:30.820 --> 23:31.961 This is by Jay Diller. 23:31.981 --> 23:33.162 Do you know who Jay Diller is? 23:33.222 --> 23:33.803 Who heck is he? 23:33.903 --> 23:34.203 Do you know? 23:34.383 --> 23:35.084 Do you know anything? 23:35.144 --> 23:36.425 Anything about Jay Diller? 23:36.765 --> 23:38.987 Uh, no, I, I thought you were going to say just, do you know anything? 23:39.207 --> 23:40.828 I was thinking like, what do I know? 23:40.848 --> 23:42.509 I don't know anything. 23:42.569 --> 23:43.870 No, no, no. 23:43.891 --> 23:44.611 I'm trying to stop you. 23:45.332 --> 23:47.653 No hop, hop. 23:48.114 --> 23:49.155 I'd like to see hop. 23:49.835 --> 24:05.875 it's confusing Jay Diller is a sort of hip-hop man type producer man yeah he's dead is he but that's made him an extraordinary legend when did he die a while ago okay 19 a while ago and this is called love it's from his album the shining enjoy 24:07.199 --> 24:26.660 chemical brothers with swoon this is Adam and Joe on BBC six music happy Saturday morning everybody who is listening yeah happy nice I like it hope you're feeling alright after yesterday's fun and festivities we are going to be playing you the results of our song wars battle this week we have written songs so the results of our song wars endeavors 24:27.420 --> 24:31.364 The results of the battle will be next week when we announce the results of the battle. 24:31.624 --> 24:32.285 That's true. 24:34.187 --> 24:34.767 I'll shut you down. 24:34.967 --> 24:36.869 You have to stop doing that now. 24:37.410 --> 24:42.875 We are going to be playing you our Song Wars songs just after 11 o'clock, so stick with us here on the programme. 24:43.355 --> 24:47.559 But now, Joe, I want to ask you what your policy is with envelopes. 24:48.019 --> 24:50.642 What do you do with them once you get an envelope? 24:51.122 --> 24:51.922 It's tricky, isn't it? 24:52.002 --> 24:55.064 Because you can't recycle them, I believe. 24:55.424 --> 24:55.664 Right. 24:56.284 --> 24:57.205 Because they're gluey. 24:57.545 --> 24:58.805 I mean, when did you find that out? 24:58.845 --> 25:01.026 I only just found that out. 25:01.086 --> 25:01.907 I've known that for years. 25:01.927 --> 25:03.087 Have you known it for years? 25:03.107 --> 25:08.190 I only just found out because the lady that sometimes comes around to clean our house said, what are you doing recycling that? 25:08.210 --> 25:09.790 You can't recycle that because it's all gummy. 25:10.311 --> 25:12.051 And I sort of said, I think you can. 25:12.471 --> 25:13.092 It's paper. 25:13.112 --> 25:13.892 It's paper. 25:13.932 --> 25:14.933 Come on, you just chuck it in there. 25:15.353 --> 25:15.913 No, you can't do it. 25:16.273 --> 25:17.834 So I checked it out and she was absolutely right. 25:18.074 --> 25:20.315 I mean, I had been tearing out the plastic windows. 25:21.562 --> 25:23.663 Yeah, but I think it's still gummy. 25:24.383 --> 25:33.928 I tell you what I do, if it doesn't have a window and it's got my address printed on it, I tear out the address and I rip the address up into tiny bits. 25:34.148 --> 25:34.488 And eat it. 25:34.708 --> 25:36.069 And put it in the kitchen bin. 25:36.289 --> 25:36.489 Right. 25:37.430 --> 25:40.551 So that, what's his name, the man that goes through celebrity bins? 25:41.391 --> 25:42.852 Johnny Bin... Johnny Bin Matt. 25:42.892 --> 25:43.452 Johnny Bin Plops. 25:43.973 --> 25:45.213 Can't get my address. 25:45.333 --> 25:45.553 Yeah. 25:46.114 --> 25:49.535 And then I will tear off the gummy bits and I'll put the papery bits in the recycling. 25:49.715 --> 25:50.016 Mm-hmm. 25:50.656 --> 25:50.796 Yeah. 25:51.016 --> 25:52.317 Yeah, I mean that's what you're supposed to do. 25:52.377 --> 25:53.038 Here's some guidelines. 25:53.058 --> 25:54.579 If it's a jiffy, I save it. 25:55.160 --> 25:55.340 Sure. 25:55.400 --> 25:56.361 In my jiffy bag store. 25:56.521 --> 25:57.222 Or wear it like a hat. 25:57.502 --> 25:58.383 Or wear it like a hat. 25:59.143 --> 26:00.364 Or wear them like slippers. 26:00.985 --> 26:04.268 Or pop some used tissue in it and use it as a pillow. 26:04.668 --> 26:05.008 Yes. 26:05.589 --> 26:07.010 It's a lovely pillow, travel pillow. 26:07.571 --> 26:09.112 Or... Mmm. 26:11.075 --> 26:15.377 Well, these are these are good tips, you know, and there was some tips that I saw on on a blog. 26:16.077 --> 26:19.338 Well, it's a website, I suppose, tips.com, the go green blog. 26:19.558 --> 26:23.400 Oh, this is and it's called itself tips for teachers and office workers. 26:23.760 --> 26:26.241 It's actually set up by an office supplies company. 26:26.661 --> 26:26.841 Great. 26:27.481 --> 26:33.466 And it seems to be like a sincere thing with sincere tips and stuff, but some of them are a little... Why did you go on here? 26:33.486 --> 26:35.528 Because I wanted to check out what the procedure was. 26:35.789 --> 26:38.231 I was searching for... You're anxious that you might be doing other things wrong? 26:38.331 --> 26:40.773 Yeah, I was searching for our envelopes recyclable. 26:41.033 --> 26:41.233 Right. 26:41.293 --> 26:43.175 And this is the thing I stumbled across. 26:43.495 --> 26:45.217 It says, how to recycle your envelopes. 26:45.677 --> 26:49.221 Remove the see-through plastic address window and the glue covered seal. 26:50.041 --> 26:59.705 Use them to build a statue of yourself in the office or model cars using the see-through plastic for windows and the glued seals for fixings and structure. 27:00.305 --> 27:02.586 Recycle the rest in the paper recycling. 27:03.166 --> 27:03.846 Have you done that then? 27:03.866 --> 27:04.767 Have you made some cars? 27:05.507 --> 27:06.748 Yeah, I've spent all week doing it. 27:07.609 --> 27:08.550 It's very important. 27:08.570 --> 27:10.371 I mean, does everyone have to do this? 27:10.411 --> 27:10.672 Yes. 27:11.012 --> 27:11.492 I didn't realise. 27:11.512 --> 27:13.194 It's more important than the recycling aspect. 27:13.394 --> 27:16.977 And what about building a statue of yourself in the office? 27:17.297 --> 27:18.218 That's important as well. 27:18.238 --> 27:20.560 I mean, this is what was on the website. 27:20.760 --> 27:21.921 And the car's life size. 27:22.702 --> 27:24.604 Once you've finished the car, you drive it into the statue. 27:24.624 --> 27:25.684 I've been driving it around. 27:25.725 --> 27:27.406 You drive it at speed into the statue. 27:27.586 --> 27:28.647 I had to get it MOT'd. 27:28.687 --> 27:29.488 And then you're finished. 27:30.069 --> 27:31.630 Yeah, and it failed the MOT. 27:31.750 --> 27:32.091 Did it? 27:32.171 --> 27:33.672 Yeah, so I've had to start building a new one. 27:34.353 --> 27:39.919 And then, these are real, incidentally, on the website it says, other suggestions for your envelopes. 27:40.520 --> 27:41.260 Shopping lists. 27:41.561 --> 27:44.804 You may be able to use the sticky part to stick them to your fridge! 27:44.944 --> 27:45.124 Yes. 27:45.785 --> 27:46.446 Good idea. 27:47.006 --> 27:47.727 Another suggestion. 27:47.967 --> 27:51.551 Reuse the ones with plastic windows if you carefully open them. 27:51.831 --> 27:52.131 Okay? 27:52.512 --> 27:54.794 Put them under a short leg of a wonky table. 27:54.954 --> 27:56.556 Short leg of a wonky table. 27:56.936 --> 27:58.558 Why don't you do that with your envelopes? 27:59.178 --> 28:04.424 Use them for storage slash categorization of small things like newspaper clippings. 28:04.584 --> 28:04.924 What? 28:05.204 --> 28:05.685 What? 28:06.065 --> 28:06.726 What are they saying? 28:06.926 --> 28:07.867 And here's the final one. 28:07.887 --> 28:09.508 Sorry, use what for categorization? 28:09.628 --> 28:11.070 Oh, the old envelopes. 28:11.090 --> 28:12.091 Sort of like index cards. 28:12.171 --> 28:13.072 Yes, exactly. 28:13.612 --> 28:16.955 Use them for storage slash categorization of small things. 28:18.076 --> 28:22.660 And finally, start a flip book cartoon using one envelope a day. 28:24.842 --> 28:25.603 I hate you! 28:25.703 --> 28:28.906 I'm going to find you and kill you for suggesting that! 28:30.123 --> 28:31.824 run them over in your new car. 28:31.884 --> 28:32.625 I'm going to! 28:34.166 --> 28:37.149 I mean maybe it was meant as a humorous suggestion on the go green block. 28:37.169 --> 28:53.041 If you did that website and you're walking down the street and you see a very huge, shonky paper car with a weird patchwork window that you can't really see through in this bearded lunatic driving and next to him in the passenger seat a statue. 28:53.301 --> 28:58.265 Then don't worry because it'll run harmlessly over you because it's made entirely of old 28:59.526 --> 29:20.539 uh envelopes yeah um although the the plastic window may slice your face off i've gone too far again haven't i nearly song wars time here's nirvana with smells like teen spirit it's time for song wars the war of the songs a couple of 29:31.457 --> 29:43.626 Do you remember the time when loads of little kids used to go around wearing Nirvana t-shirts? 29:43.706 --> 29:44.887 Does that still happen anymore? 29:45.487 --> 29:49.210 The vast majority of Nirvana t-shirts would be on like five to ten year olds. 29:49.290 --> 29:50.631 When Kurt Cobain was alive you mean? 29:51.011 --> 29:51.992 No, after he died. 29:52.092 --> 29:52.392 Oh, right. 29:52.472 --> 29:53.953 Yeah, in the 90s and noughties. 29:54.093 --> 29:54.253 Yes. 29:54.433 --> 30:00.597 You don't see it so often anymore, but it always used to be weird because he was such a sort of adult, dark and slightly nihilistic figure. 30:00.737 --> 30:01.238 Slightly. 30:01.418 --> 30:02.118 In some ways. 30:02.198 --> 30:02.538 Yeah. 30:02.558 --> 30:05.360 To see little kiddies going around in Nirvana t-shirts. 30:05.440 --> 30:06.241 Yeah, there you go. 30:06.381 --> 30:06.881 There you go. 30:07.121 --> 30:08.242 Just making a little point there. 30:08.282 --> 30:09.523 That's a brilliant point, Joe. 30:09.703 --> 30:09.883 No. 30:10.964 --> 30:11.764 I shut myself down. 30:12.105 --> 30:12.965 So it's Song Wars time. 30:13.005 --> 30:15.627 We haven't done this for a while, but now we have done it. 30:16.127 --> 30:17.908 And the theme was the royal wedding. 30:17.928 --> 30:18.589 That's right. 30:19.329 --> 30:20.810 It's a good imaginative theme. 30:21.570 --> 30:23.312 And so we've both done royal wedding songs. 30:23.472 --> 30:28.355 I did mine the... Well, I was finishing it as the wedding happened yesterday. 30:28.735 --> 30:31.817 So they're not done in the knowledge of what happened yesterday, right? 30:32.137 --> 30:32.337 No. 30:32.877 --> 30:38.461 And indeed, I was feeling a tiny bit cynical about the whole endeavour until I actually witnessed it. 30:38.501 --> 30:40.302 And it's very hard to be cynical about it. 30:40.602 --> 30:41.383 They're a sweet couple. 30:41.403 --> 30:42.123 They're a sweet couple. 30:42.143 --> 30:46.206 And even if they, you know, when you think about it, you think even if they'd wanted to have a private... 30:46.866 --> 31:07.878 wedding they wouldn't have been allowed to yes it was foisted upon them i mean as royals go they are pretty low on the offensiveness i agree um i would say and they've never personally hurt me i know will's tried to rugby tackle me has he once and uh i just noogied him and we were fine noogied yeah did a little new did you yeah across the head there 31:09.673 --> 31:12.595 But we go way back. 31:12.655 --> 31:18.118 You did a special very royal... Put a couple more syllables in there. 31:18.158 --> 31:19.219 So we're going to flip a coin, right? 31:19.399 --> 31:27.585 Listen, for new listeners, if you're a new listener and you haven't heard Song Wars before, these songs are genuinely entirely made by Adam and I individually at home. 31:27.605 --> 31:29.806 It'll be hard to believe when you hear them. 31:30.267 --> 31:32.988 And we only decided the subject last Saturday. 31:33.729 --> 31:35.050 We both had very, very busy weeks. 31:35.610 --> 31:36.791 Okay, very busy weeks. 31:37.311 --> 31:39.233 So we've just done these in the evening. 31:39.253 --> 31:40.834 All right. 31:40.934 --> 31:47.078 So lower your expectations all the way beneath floor level to a sub cretaceous. 31:47.218 --> 31:48.999 You know, it's not like cretaceous. 31:49.639 --> 31:52.341 It's not like on a kind of slick comedy program. 31:52.361 --> 31:55.783 Maybe someone will come on and do a topical song and it'll be all good. 31:55.964 --> 31:56.864 This is organic. 31:56.904 --> 31:59.166 You know, it's like a cake you buy at a jumble sale. 31:59.186 --> 32:02.588 It's just like a couple of weirdos and they've just done a weird thing on their 32:02.728 --> 32:06.309 But the key is you get to listen to both and you get to vote for your favourite. 32:06.329 --> 32:08.850 We'll tell you how once you've heard both songs. 32:08.970 --> 32:09.170 Yeah. 32:09.610 --> 32:09.810 Yeah. 32:10.070 --> 32:10.691 So we got a coin. 32:10.711 --> 32:13.011 We're going to flip the coin to see who plays their song first. 32:13.031 --> 32:16.393 I'll go for heads because it's a royal wedding and it'll be the head of the queen. 32:16.473 --> 32:16.993 Thank you. 32:17.013 --> 32:18.933 If it's heads I'll go first. 32:19.153 --> 32:20.154 Oh it's out of control. 32:20.434 --> 32:21.634 I can't flip coins. 32:21.654 --> 32:23.215 It went all over the shop. 32:25.521 --> 32:26.262 And it is heads. 32:26.362 --> 32:26.802 It's heads. 32:26.842 --> 32:27.563 I'm going to go first. 32:28.724 --> 32:32.087 OK, my song is called A Right Royal Rave Up. 32:32.247 --> 32:32.707 OK. 32:32.747 --> 32:32.927 Yeah. 32:33.048 --> 32:37.251 And so what you've got to imagine, listeners, is the following scenario. 32:37.311 --> 32:37.491 No. 32:38.612 --> 32:40.134 So it's about three in the morning. 32:40.814 --> 32:42.335 at Buckingham Palace last night. 32:43.335 --> 32:47.357 As we know, they had six staterooms, didn't they, for the reception and the party. 32:48.138 --> 32:52.360 In the central stateroom are all the biggest celebrities and the royal family themselves. 32:52.480 --> 32:57.442 And at about three in the morning, when they know all the journalists have gone, it's getting quite sweaty. 32:57.602 --> 33:00.004 Everyone's in their black tie with bottles of champagne. 33:00.624 --> 33:02.465 They've taken their ties off, kind of thing. 33:02.485 --> 33:03.085 They're loosening it up. 33:03.105 --> 33:03.865 So it's quite sexy. 33:03.885 --> 33:05.146 It's a bit like a Jay-Z video. 33:05.766 --> 33:07.968 Everyone's, you know, dancing and freaking out. 33:07.988 --> 33:08.608 Yeah, exactly. 33:09.368 --> 33:12.131 And once they know no one's looking, they play the following track. 33:12.652 --> 33:14.053 And Kate and Wills perform it. 33:14.754 --> 33:15.094 OK? 33:15.535 --> 33:17.457 And this is what happens when the royals rave. 33:17.537 --> 33:17.917 Here we go. 33:18.438 --> 33:19.138 Yo, Katie. 33:20.239 --> 33:20.900 Yo, Wills. 33:22.081 --> 33:22.622 Are you ready? 33:23.463 --> 33:24.544 Yeah, I've got chills. 33:25.144 --> 33:25.605 Well, let's go. 33:42.724 --> 33:58.377 I'd like the way you get down I'd like to see you later wearing only your crown You're so good looking Almost as fit as Ben Fogle Wind your royal body to the bucking embalmer If you're called Prince Charles 33:58.777 --> 34:00.358 Get your bum on the floor. 34:01.039 --> 34:03.980 Pass the royal duchy, let us all have a draw. 34:04.141 --> 34:07.803 If you're Camilla, dance like a freak on the tables. 34:08.243 --> 34:11.425 Get off with Mr. Bean and then wake up in the stables. 34:11.525 --> 34:14.908 If you're the queen then, let's see you grinding your hip. 34:15.368 --> 34:18.610 Throw your hands in the air like you're launching a ship. 34:18.810 --> 34:19.931 You're Duke of Edinburgh. 34:20.711 --> 34:41.945 It's time to rip up the floor Let's see you party like it's still the second world war Cameras are flashing It's the return of the king Watch me rule Britannia like it's no big thing I'll be your princess I'm going to show them who rules I'll be the best at being in magazines and opening schools We're gonna rock 34:48.367 --> 34:59.271 You drive me crazy when you wiggle your booty You and I should do a constitutional duty Hold up your tea towels and your commemorative plates 35:13.131 --> 35:15.013 It's very, very political. 35:15.193 --> 35:18.356 Is it? 35:18.536 --> 35:20.157 I think I'll just call it the Royal Rave. 35:20.217 --> 35:21.118 That's the Royal Rave. 35:21.439 --> 35:22.900 What's their constitutional duty? 35:23.661 --> 35:38.581 intercourse social conversational intercourse sure dr. bucks palace that's a little trick I missed there should have called mine dr. buckles palace and a nice little return of the king line in there as well thanks a lot I feel I should have gone 35:40.143 --> 35:43.165 You know, I guess my voice is fairly posh as it is. 35:43.185 --> 35:45.006 I feel I should have gone a bit posher. 35:45.326 --> 35:45.606 Right. 35:46.106 --> 35:53.170 I kept it pretty much the same as... So posh that you come fairly... I didn't want to make it too grotesque a caricature. 35:53.190 --> 35:54.371 Fairly big. 35:54.531 --> 35:56.092 I mean, they're not too grotesque themselves. 35:56.132 --> 35:58.093 She's got a very cut glass voice. 35:58.193 --> 35:58.893 Yeah, she has. 35:58.913 --> 35:59.834 She's sexy. 36:00.054 --> 36:00.354 Yeah. 36:00.634 --> 36:02.816 But Wills himself, he's pretty much an everyman. 36:03.997 --> 36:05.218 Pretty much everyone. 36:05.278 --> 36:06.159 Totally normal guy. 36:06.259 --> 36:07.860 Totally absolutely completely normal. 36:07.920 --> 36:08.881 I saw the film. 36:09.082 --> 36:10.343 Have you seen the American TV movie? 36:10.363 --> 36:12.225 I saw some of it on channel 5, yeah. 36:12.245 --> 36:12.966 I tried to watch that. 36:13.446 --> 36:14.267 It's very basic. 36:14.747 --> 36:15.128 It's pretty basic. 36:15.148 --> 36:18.271 It's like they haven't written a script, they've just cut, copy, pasted from Wikipedia. 36:18.431 --> 36:18.851 Exactly. 36:19.392 --> 36:21.074 Or articles in Hello. 36:21.194 --> 36:21.434 Yeah. 36:21.995 --> 36:23.056 And just reconstructed them. 36:24.733 --> 36:31.439 So what I did was I felt that I probably had to go for something from the Queen's point of view. 36:31.879 --> 36:34.742 Well, you've got a sort of secret weapon in this song, I suppose. 36:35.863 --> 36:38.685 In that I have personal ties with her match. 36:39.958 --> 36:46.523 And so you have to imagine that it is the first dance of the party, and the Queen steps up to the mic. 36:46.563 --> 36:53.929 She's written this specially to welcome Katie to the family and to give her a little bit of advice, and this is what happens. 36:54.510 --> 37:03.197 And now, my lords, ladies and gentlemen, performing her own special musical tribute of a happy couple, her royal match highness, the Queen. 37:04.017 --> 37:22.477 Once upon a time in a lovely university Lived a lovely couple called Willie and Kater They fell in love when Katie showed her pants at the party And then they went on telly to appear on Blinder Data If you were a princess, what kind were you boy? 37:23.198 --> 37:42.637 I'll be a really lovely one, I promise you your majesty I won't fix introductions for suitcases and money Or do a sketch on Red Nose Day, even if it's really funny Thanks a lot Chuck, that sounds good to me Graham slide the curtain back, I think we'll go for Katie Willy 37:42.637 --> 38:12.437 Katie and Katie, Katie and Willy You're going to have a lot of loli life, just don't be silly Kate and Prince of Willy's, Will and Princess Kate are Just follow my instructions please, I am the head of Stata Don't get a stupid butler who rifles through your pants He'll end up in the jungle with the clan and the ants Stay clear of Piers Morgan and other sleazy men Don't wanna see Andy Morton or Martin Bashir again 38:14.199 --> 38:36.041 Sometimes the life of a princess Can be a royal pain in the parts A lullicating Meeting boring people Asking what they do Pretending that you're interested Smiling for the camera's too 38:39.164 --> 38:51.394 When all you want to do is say you're all boring farts Willy and Katie, Katie and Willy Welcome, Willy and Katie to a happy family. 38:51.454 --> 39:02.404 Katie, Prince of Willy's, Willa, Princess Katie, Laura, Laura, Lily, Coppola, or Plunder Data Katie, Katie, Katie, Willy, Willy, Wills 39:02.964 --> 39:04.647 Don't dress up as Nazis. 39:04.887 --> 39:06.429 Don't get hooked on pills. 39:06.830 --> 39:09.994 Kate is on a plate day and Will is on a cough. 39:10.174 --> 39:14.020 There's a lot of people watching you so please don't screw this up. 39:16.291 --> 39:18.112 I mean, your one's quite political too. 39:18.252 --> 39:18.532 Is it? 39:18.893 --> 39:21.754 Quite provocative about the pills and everything there. 39:22.034 --> 39:23.816 Just advice, things for them to avoid. 39:24.156 --> 39:26.577 But your strength there was the Prince of Willys. 39:28.158 --> 39:32.501 By calling him repeatedly the Prince of Willys, I think people are gonna like that. 39:33.882 --> 39:35.302 So there you go, those are our Song Wars songs. 39:35.383 --> 39:40.105 I'd like to dedicate mine to Pete Thomas and Claire Emmett, who are getting married today. 39:40.686 --> 39:44.268 We don't do shout-outs and dedications very often, but that one caught my eye and I thought, why not? 39:44.548 --> 39:46.029 So this is what you've got to do, listeners. 39:46.289 --> 39:47.910 You can hear both songs again. 39:47.930 --> 39:49.651 I'm going to rephrase that. 39:49.711 --> 39:56.194 You can hear both songs again on our blog, bbc.co.uk forward slash blogs forward slash Adam and Joe. 39:56.554 --> 39:59.755 Or you can hear them on the podcast, which will be available from 6 p.m. 39:59.815 --> 40:00.136 today. 40:00.436 --> 40:09.060 And then you can vote for your favorite track via the blog or via our usual email address, which is adamandjoe.sixmusic at bbc.co.uk. 40:09.400 --> 40:12.061 So you can vote for mine, which was Royal Rave Up. 40:12.422 --> 40:13.282 What was yours called, Adam? 40:13.522 --> 40:17.266 Mine's just called Royal Wedding, so I like to keep things functional. 40:17.566 --> 40:18.067 There we go. 40:18.147 --> 40:21.771 And remember, it's very, very important that everybody votes. 40:22.171 --> 40:25.235 And it's very important that you listen very carefully to both songs. 40:25.295 --> 40:25.595 Yeah. 40:25.695 --> 40:31.822 Think about them, discuss them with your family and friends, analyse and make an informed decision. 40:32.562 --> 40:33.803 You've got until 11 p.m. 40:33.863 --> 40:41.248 on Friday the 6th of May to cast your vote and be part of this constitutional monarchy song wars. 40:41.268 --> 40:43.790 The full terms and conditions can be found on our website. 40:43.970 --> 40:47.412 The winning song will be announced on next week's show Saturday the 7th of May. 40:47.452 --> 40:49.354 That's something to look forward to then isn't it? 40:49.414 --> 40:52.336 Don't forget just emails okay for the voting for this. 40:53.016 --> 40:58.239 And is it useful for them to like put who they're voting for as the header? 40:59.040 --> 40:59.981 Yeah that might be useful. 41:00.881 --> 41:01.962 Speed things up a little bit. 41:02.402 --> 41:04.445 Thanks very much, and that's Song Wars. 41:04.565 --> 41:06.647 Right now, it's Jay-Z time. 41:22.964 --> 41:26.266 difficulties in the street. 41:26.286 --> 41:30.089 It's impossible to get my shopping done. 41:30.129 --> 41:32.911 I was grooving so much that I vomited. 41:33.052 --> 41:35.233 I thought I had it early on today. 41:35.253 --> 41:40.677 Jay Z making my booty incredible and and what does it stand very exciting. 41:40.717 --> 41:43.800 It's very exciting very optimistic. 41:43.820 --> 41:45.361 What does hover stand for? 41:45.521 --> 41:45.981 Positive. 41:46.762 --> 41:48.383 It's just like a like a hot craft. 41:50.084 --> 41:51.725 It's about a mower. 41:51.745 --> 41:52.725 What is Izzo? 41:52.785 --> 41:53.365 Eddie Izzard. 41:53.385 --> 41:54.266 He's gone through America. 41:54.286 --> 41:59.748 He's made friends with rap and so it's probably some consequence of Eddie Izzard making friends with Jay Z. I'm very good friends. 41:59.848 --> 42:01.569 I've actually no idea. 42:01.609 --> 42:02.209 I'll ask my nephew. 42:02.409 --> 42:03.270 Noel Gallagher. 42:03.310 --> 42:04.210 I'm seeing my nephew this weekend. 42:04.350 --> 42:05.491 Noel Gallagher. 42:05.651 --> 42:06.551 I'm giving him 50 pence. 42:06.611 --> 42:07.731 I said Noel Gallagher. 42:08.152 --> 42:08.452 Sorry? 42:09.452 --> 42:10.112 Noel Gallagher. 42:10.433 --> 42:11.953 I do, yes. 42:12.473 --> 42:13.874 I just said his name. 42:13.894 --> 42:15.815 There's a chap at the council called Oliver. 42:16.735 --> 42:17.375 It's not the same. 42:17.395 --> 42:19.196 Probably not the same. 42:19.236 --> 42:19.416 No. 42:20.597 --> 42:21.257 Yeah, you know. 42:22.177 --> 42:24.558 Okay, it's time for another free play right now, listeners. 42:24.898 --> 42:28.480 And mate, this is an Australian man. 42:28.960 --> 42:33.101 And now I could really get into hot water doing the accent for this guy. 42:33.702 --> 42:35.502 Because he's like an Australian icon. 42:35.982 --> 42:36.383 Oh, really? 42:36.443 --> 42:40.504 He's part of a very fundamentally important series of bands. 42:41.104 --> 42:43.105 He's a longtime collaborator of Nick Cave. 42:43.565 --> 42:43.845 Right? 42:44.366 --> 42:45.346 Is he one of Men at Work? 42:45.686 --> 42:47.348 No, he's not, mate. 42:47.468 --> 42:51.293 Well, but you said he's an important... I know, I know. 42:51.633 --> 42:53.435 And they are important, don't get me wrong. 42:53.495 --> 42:54.837 Oh, it's mental as anything. 42:55.157 --> 42:56.559 It's the chap from mental as anything. 42:56.579 --> 42:58.661 No, it's not the monk from mental as anything. 42:58.701 --> 42:59.863 Well, who are you talking about? 42:59.983 --> 43:02.265 I'm talking about Mick Harvey, who? 43:02.385 --> 43:04.208 From the Bad Seeds and the Birthday Party. 43:04.368 --> 43:05.049 Oh, right, mate. 43:05.649 --> 43:22.813 and it's he tried to get into mental as anything but he wasn't allowed he wasn't allowed so instead he had to do his own thing and this is from one of his solo albums from 2007 uh called uh i think it's called the two of diamonds uh this is a track uh it's a cover this track by um 43:25.694 --> 43:27.255 What is this track? 43:27.275 --> 43:29.176 I just ran out of steam there halfway through my sentence. 43:29.237 --> 43:30.157 I'm getting confused. 43:30.177 --> 43:31.278 Is this a cover of a track? 43:31.398 --> 43:35.380 So this track is a cover of a Manu Chow song. 43:35.440 --> 43:35.680 Right. 43:36.481 --> 43:45.086 It's called Out of Time Man and it sounds for all the world like The Passenger by Iggy Pop but I enjoyed this when I heard it the other day on the TV show Breaking Bad. 43:45.106 --> 43:46.167 Don't know if you've ever seen that. 43:46.387 --> 43:47.808 No I haven't but it's very good. 43:47.828 --> 43:49.069 A little bit depressing but good. 43:49.469 --> 43:51.450 And this is Out of Time Man by Mick Harvey. 43:52.270 --> 44:15.538 very good that's Pete and the Pirates first single from their second album 1,000 pictures out in May heavily indebted to Young Knives I hope they won't mind me saying though and that's a good thing as far as I'm concerned this is Adam and Joe here on BBC.6music.co.uk just put the word dot in there and then got sent off in a erroneous oh for goodness sake it's 11 30 and time for the news 44:20.270 --> 44:22.030 That's Sex Laws by Beck. 44:22.451 --> 44:27.532 Is that the kind of sort of mood when Beck is making love? 44:28.832 --> 44:32.133 No, it's... That sort of banjo plucking hoedown kind of mood? 44:32.473 --> 44:35.994 No, it's when he's laying down the law about how the lovemaking is going to go. 44:36.034 --> 44:36.134 Okay. 44:36.174 --> 44:37.195 He does it in a jolly way. 44:37.235 --> 44:41.176 Yeah, it's how he explains the rules, jumps around, makes it fun rather than intimidating. 44:41.276 --> 44:41.956 Like I do. 44:43.437 --> 44:46.220 Right, listen! 44:46.240 --> 44:48.503 Tonight, I want you to dress up! 44:49.264 --> 44:52.387 Okay, so I think it's time for Text the Nation, isn't it? 44:52.648 --> 44:53.368 Yes, it is. 44:53.769 --> 45:00.396 And we have got a jingle coming your way, courtesy of a band called The Scholars, and they sent us in this. 45:00.656 --> 45:00.997 Enjoy! 45:08.524 --> 45:19.692 Text-a-nation, text-a-nation! 45:19.732 --> 45:20.592 What I want to! 45:20.672 --> 45:31.139 Is that a problem? 45:32.340 --> 45:34.221 Is that a text? 45:49.059 --> 45:49.319 Wow. 45:49.399 --> 45:52.783 Very raw, very vital, very now. 45:53.043 --> 45:53.323 Yeah. 45:53.423 --> 45:57.387 I mean, that could have been recorded live at one of the scholars gigs at the Ratkeller. 45:58.088 --> 45:59.469 Who gives a thimble? 45:59.929 --> 46:01.491 Who gives an absolute thimble box? 46:01.611 --> 46:02.372 Not me. 46:02.572 --> 46:03.152 Certainly not. 46:03.192 --> 46:04.794 You must be thinking of somebody else. 46:04.914 --> 46:06.936 I don't care at all about anything. 46:07.136 --> 46:08.057 No, none of the scholars do. 46:08.317 --> 46:09.900 I don't care about anything at all. 46:10.101 --> 46:11.784 Do you care? 46:11.804 --> 46:16.713 Do you care about like when your milk goes off, you still just have your milk off milk on your cornflakes. 46:16.733 --> 46:17.635 Or do you care? 46:17.715 --> 46:18.997 No, I don't. 46:19.117 --> 46:20.300 I don't like it personally. 46:20.360 --> 46:20.981 I do care about that. 46:21.634 --> 46:25.978 That was Chris Aylett or Aylett. 46:26.439 --> 46:27.059 He sent that in. 46:27.119 --> 46:27.860 Thanks a lot, Chris. 46:28.140 --> 46:33.565 Maybe the scholars are playing in a little creepy pub near you tonight and they might play that song. 46:34.126 --> 46:34.846 That would be good, wouldn't it? 46:35.227 --> 46:35.827 Very exciting. 46:35.867 --> 46:37.669 I love small creepy pubs. 46:39.410 --> 46:56.799 that smell they're my favorite kind um listen text the nation is the segment of the show where we give you a subject and you text us about it um this week's subject is fiddles okay now we're not talking about object fiddles we're talking about body fiddles so this is stuff you do 46:57.519 --> 47:15.531 When you're doing something else and you just want to occupy your body like for instance mm-hmm when I'm writing Sometimes with a friend I will without knowing it start to wiggle now you're doing some now in fact a little bit you least I start to wiggle my knee you know this is a very very popular one you keep your toes on the ground lift the heel and 47:15.871 --> 47:17.392 and then you just undulate the knee rapidly. 47:17.412 --> 47:18.333 He's a leg joggler. 47:18.653 --> 47:28.120 And then without knowing it you can start to undulate the entire room maybe the table that you're working at and the person you're working with can think it's some kind of tremor if you're working in Los Angeles. 47:28.180 --> 47:33.043 If you've got two leg jogglers working together in the same room and they become and they start to synchronize. 47:33.063 --> 47:33.583 Very dangerous. 47:33.804 --> 47:35.325 Then you can get a real tremor happening. 47:35.385 --> 47:39.888 Very dangerous but it often happens you know you don't know you're doing it and it creeps up on you. 47:40.228 --> 47:42.610 Okay here's another one number two that's a very basic one number two 47:43.230 --> 47:56.539 What I like to do is I like to get my bottom lip between my thumb and forefinger, thumb and forefinger at the corners of the bottom lip, push together to create a loop in the bottom lip, push the loop back and bite down with the top teeth. 47:56.699 --> 47:57.059 Lip loop. 48:00.101 --> 48:02.023 So you look like a kind of a froggy. 48:02.363 --> 48:06.526 It's like you're making an M with your bottom lip and then you're pushing it in. 48:06.726 --> 48:08.007 Rock a posh rabbit. 48:08.127 --> 48:08.307 Yeah. 48:08.647 --> 48:08.947 Hello. 48:09.728 --> 48:10.648 That's very satisfying. 48:10.689 --> 48:11.229 Do you have any carrots? 48:11.249 --> 48:12.850 In fact, I like to do that to my lady partner. 48:12.910 --> 48:13.130 friend. 48:13.750 --> 48:15.851 I like to do that. 48:16.212 --> 48:16.772 What are you doing? 48:16.812 --> 48:18.033 Are you biting her? 48:18.053 --> 48:21.314 No, I just get hold of her lip and I stuff it in her gob. 48:21.594 --> 48:22.215 I tuck it in there. 48:22.235 --> 48:22.815 Tuck it in there. 48:22.875 --> 48:23.155 Yeah. 48:25.076 --> 48:26.677 Nice little picture you've painted there. 48:26.697 --> 48:27.257 Thanks a lot. 48:27.537 --> 48:29.538 What do you like to do with your, what's your fiddle routine? 48:29.658 --> 48:30.339 I've got a beard. 48:31.019 --> 48:33.000 Oh, there's a whole new world of facial fiddles. 48:33.020 --> 48:33.300 Yeah. 48:33.540 --> 48:38.683 So I, I, you know, I'll sort of play around with a little bit just below the lip. 48:38.743 --> 48:39.003 Really? 48:39.663 --> 48:40.303 Do you know a thing? 48:40.363 --> 48:43.585 Here's a thing, like sometimes people have hair fiddles. 48:44.245 --> 48:48.766 Like there'll be a particular little tuft of hair that they'll like to twizzle. 48:49.407 --> 48:56.049 And when I was a teenager, I thought that I could maybe actually adjust the shape, the style of my hair or the shape of my face. 48:56.409 --> 49:01.691 I thought if I fiddle enough with a bit of my face, like I can make my chin squarer or more prominent. 49:01.931 --> 49:03.512 If I just do that all my life. 49:03.752 --> 49:06.154 Well, I mean, in theory, that works, doesn't it? 49:06.334 --> 49:06.654 Does it? 49:06.915 --> 49:07.495 I think so. 49:07.555 --> 49:09.557 You can more or less change the shape of your body. 49:09.577 --> 49:12.839 You can mould your face like very slow motion plastic surgery over years and years. 49:12.859 --> 49:13.019 Surely. 49:13.059 --> 49:18.464 I mean, that's what those hideous shoes in Japan used to do, isn't it, to geisha ladies sometimes? 49:18.484 --> 49:20.425 Am I getting my facts confused here? 49:20.725 --> 49:23.047 But you know the ones I mean, the very constrictive ones. 49:23.087 --> 49:26.230 Sure, or a tribesperson with the multiple necklaces that extend the neck. 49:26.650 --> 49:28.211 So you can do those kind of things. 49:28.231 --> 49:28.832 You could wear 49:29.872 --> 49:31.333 Like a mask of Brad Pitt. 49:31.413 --> 49:32.534 This subject's amazing. 49:32.554 --> 49:33.354 This is amazing. 49:33.374 --> 49:34.034 It's world-changing. 49:34.174 --> 49:36.536 And I mean, aren't they even marketed? 49:36.716 --> 49:37.756 Am I just imagining this? 49:37.976 --> 49:45.660 Like celebrity masks that you wear at night to mold your face into the shape of a celebrity's face. 49:45.680 --> 49:47.241 I mean, if these don't exist, I couldn't. 49:47.261 --> 49:47.941 You make a lot of money. 49:47.961 --> 49:52.524 But that's a good idea because you have a plastic, let's think of the biggest star in the world, Madonna. 49:52.844 --> 49:55.405 Is she still the biggest? 49:55.686 --> 49:56.186 I'm joking. 49:56.486 --> 49:57.787 Madonna, she's the biggest star in the world. 49:57.987 --> 50:05.831 What if you had a plastic mask and it was for kids and just every night you put that mask, you'd have to have different sizes as the kid grows older. 50:05.851 --> 50:07.832 You could shape your child's face. 50:07.912 --> 50:09.413 Literally mold your child. 50:09.453 --> 50:10.073 Like Madonna. 50:10.134 --> 50:12.235 And imagine what an easy life they'd have. 50:12.955 --> 50:15.297 Looking just like Madonna as a Madonna look-alike. 50:15.777 --> 50:21.502 That would be tough though for Madonna as well because you'd have to... What about you do it with the guy from the Aphex Twin? 50:22.163 --> 50:25.186 Then the world would be like a Chris Cunningham Aphex Twin video. 50:25.226 --> 50:26.126 Yes, exactly. 50:26.206 --> 50:28.208 What's he called that chap, Aphex Twin Man? 50:28.408 --> 50:30.190 He is called... Roddy Piper. 50:31.351 --> 50:32.652 Tommy Knockers, I think. 50:32.692 --> 50:33.613 He's another Tommy Knocker. 50:33.653 --> 50:34.634 Richard James, he's called. 50:35.714 --> 50:37.255 Anyway, send us your fiddles, right? 50:37.495 --> 50:37.755 Yes. 50:37.875 --> 50:38.855 We want to know your fiddles. 50:39.016 --> 50:40.796 Please describe them quite accurately. 50:40.816 --> 50:42.837 They don't have to be spectacular, they can be small. 50:42.937 --> 50:46.859 How about chewing your cheek there, chewy cheeks, as Julian Barrett might say. 50:46.879 --> 50:53.741 Well, we have done body food in the past, bits of your body that you eat, so we want to try and steer away from that. 50:53.781 --> 50:55.702 We've done bits of body that you eat? 50:56.142 --> 50:57.323 We did weird food fiddles. 50:57.343 --> 51:00.425 No, we have, because I remember talking about cuticles, eating cuticles. 51:01.065 --> 51:11.691 So this must be fiddles, taps, kind of slightly mildly obsessive compulsive little twitches or fiddles, fun, rapid action things to do. 51:11.711 --> 51:12.952 Fun things, not self-harm. 51:13.352 --> 51:13.512 No. 51:15.093 --> 51:18.354 No, we've already got bit too close to that with our Black Squadron command this morning. 51:18.414 --> 51:19.174 Yeah, exactly. 51:19.655 --> 51:20.135 So there you go. 51:20.155 --> 51:21.595 Text number is 64046. 51:22.435 --> 51:23.196 You can email as well. 51:23.236 --> 51:25.116 Adamandjoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 51:25.476 --> 51:27.757 I'm just tapping my papers like a news reader. 51:28.877 --> 51:29.458 I don't like it. 51:29.578 --> 51:29.918 Okay. 51:30.578 --> 51:31.318 Makes me angry. 51:31.518 --> 51:32.078 Alright then. 51:32.819 --> 51:33.899 Here's something to cheer you up. 51:34.159 --> 51:35.159 Death Cab for Cutie. 51:35.239 --> 51:35.940 You're a tourist! 51:39.074 --> 51:40.055 It's a shame. 51:40.216 --> 51:41.237 It's a little shame, isn't it? 51:41.557 --> 51:42.098 That's very nice. 51:42.118 --> 51:44.721 So isn't it Death Cab for Cutie with You Are A Tourist? 51:44.861 --> 51:47.684 Sorry listeners, but I'm a little bit smelly this morning. 51:47.964 --> 51:48.865 Don't think they'll notice. 51:49.806 --> 51:50.247 Honestly. 51:50.814 --> 51:57.059 I put it on clean this morning and it's just, I think I've been washing at a very low temperature to save the planet. 51:57.139 --> 51:59.101 You're quite a her-stute man. 51:59.121 --> 52:00.202 Her-suit? 52:00.842 --> 52:01.563 What is that word? 52:01.823 --> 52:03.204 Like astute and her-suit. 52:03.524 --> 52:04.805 You're quite a her-stute man. 52:04.845 --> 52:05.746 Yes I am her-stute. 52:05.766 --> 52:07.588 But it means odours get trapped in your fur. 52:09.389 --> 52:10.771 This is the beginning of an advert. 52:10.811 --> 52:12.772 Do odors get trapped in your fur? 52:13.793 --> 52:16.016 Are you a small monkey man? 52:16.036 --> 52:17.037 Then use furry stink out. 52:18.658 --> 52:20.040 I've run out of furry stink out. 52:20.060 --> 52:23.143 The scented comb that you can use. 52:23.423 --> 52:24.744 Removes small animals too. 52:24.944 --> 52:26.145 To groom your body hair. 52:26.246 --> 52:29.168 Gets rid of knits, stinches and knots. 52:30.029 --> 52:31.010 Knits, knots and stinks. 52:31.911 --> 52:33.292 Stinches, knits, knots and lunches. 52:34.413 --> 52:37.375 I really need it because I'm not happy with my wash. 52:37.475 --> 52:38.015 I'm fine. 52:38.415 --> 52:41.156 I'm only three or four feet away from you and I can't smell nothing. 52:41.176 --> 52:43.237 I'll wear this shirt for the rest of the flipping day though, James. 52:43.277 --> 52:44.137 You're so astute. 52:44.998 --> 52:49.500 So listen, if you listen to the podcast of this show, you might have heard the Lizard in the Blizzard song. 52:49.760 --> 52:50.100 Right. 52:50.340 --> 52:54.582 Which Dr. Buckles composed as a tribute to the G6 song. 52:54.602 --> 52:55.282 Fly Like a G6. 52:55.322 --> 52:56.783 Could never remember who that was. 52:56.803 --> 52:59.906 Have we played it in the show itself, or only in the podcast? 52:59.966 --> 53:00.887 It's podcast listeners only. 53:01.147 --> 53:07.373 So if you don't listen to the podcast, here is a sample of this ongoing kind of musical soap opera. 53:07.834 --> 53:13.699 It started off as a riff on the G6 song, but now it's taken on a life of its rhyming own. 53:13.719 --> 53:15.161 Here's a reminder. 53:15.521 --> 53:34.734 popping jingles in the podcast like a lizard a lizard making jingles in the blizzard every time the lizard takes a pee it solidifies now he is surrounded by a bunch of frozen weesticks frozen weesticks frozen weesticks 53:46.142 --> 53:52.626 So you can understand how a song is powerful of that, as that might have captured the public imagination. 53:52.646 --> 53:55.328 That was episode one of the... How many episodes have there been? 53:55.708 --> 53:55.988 Four. 53:56.489 --> 53:57.109 Four? 53:57.229 --> 53:57.890 Yeah. 53:57.970 --> 53:58.210 Four. 53:58.510 --> 53:58.850 Four. 53:59.191 --> 54:01.392 Episode five on this week's podcast. 54:01.512 --> 54:04.254 And so we got this email from Abby Feltham. 54:04.494 --> 54:07.296 Is that her name or is she in Feltham, Young Offenders Institution? 54:07.397 --> 54:07.577 No. 54:08.097 --> 54:08.337 Abby. 54:08.737 --> 54:14.982 She says, Dear Ads and Jozza, did you know that super cool mashup DJ JaguarSkills 54:15.262 --> 54:16.163 Yeah, I know Jaguar skills. 54:16.463 --> 54:20.605 Sampled the Wii sticks in a mix on one extra last week. 54:20.965 --> 54:23.647 He was mixing like a G6 into Nero's Me and You. 54:24.087 --> 54:25.328 Both records we know very well. 54:25.748 --> 54:28.489 And he added a cheeky little sample of the Adam and Joe show at the end. 54:28.870 --> 54:29.850 Now this makes you cool! 54:30.170 --> 54:30.711 Congrats! 54:30.931 --> 54:31.931 You should go to Ibiza! 54:32.131 --> 54:33.292 He's a mystery guy, isn't he? 54:33.432 --> 54:35.813 Like he's a... no one knows his true identity? 54:35.834 --> 54:37.074 He is very important in the dance world. 54:37.094 --> 54:37.614 Jaguar skills? 54:37.955 --> 54:38.195 Is he? 54:38.395 --> 54:40.016 Let's hear this clip from his mix. 55:00.015 --> 55:02.317 It's subtle, but it's there. 55:02.397 --> 55:03.078 I don't think so. 55:03.098 --> 55:05.700 I think it fits in perfectly. 55:05.720 --> 55:06.541 That's exciting. 55:06.681 --> 55:07.241 One Extra. 55:07.642 --> 55:08.402 That's cool. 55:08.542 --> 55:11.385 That was like a little glimpse into the world of One Extra. 55:11.405 --> 55:13.106 It's very exciting there, isn't it? 55:13.126 --> 55:15.808 Because young people generally... They like noises. 55:15.928 --> 55:16.749 They do, they love noises. 55:16.809 --> 55:19.311 noises, thumping and banging and noises and squealing. 55:19.551 --> 55:26.275 Because people who are aged between around 17 and 25 don't generally listen to this program. 55:27.036 --> 55:27.977 Oh, that's nonsense. 55:27.997 --> 55:28.237 Is it? 55:28.417 --> 55:29.998 Yeah, that's nonsense. 55:30.378 --> 55:32.720 That is nonsense. 55:32.860 --> 55:33.681 That's much more vehement response. 55:33.761 --> 55:34.741 No, but that's nonsense. 55:35.101 --> 55:36.422 No, but the nonsense button's gone off. 55:36.923 --> 55:38.764 Seriously, the nonsense button. 55:38.804 --> 55:39.344 It's flashing. 55:39.364 --> 55:40.025 Cornballs! 55:40.285 --> 55:41.546 That is nonsense! 55:42.026 --> 55:42.467 Nonsense! 55:42.527 --> 55:42.967 Nonsense! 55:43.007 --> 55:43.548 Nonsense! 55:43.588 --> 55:49.293 If you listen to this program when you're aged 70 to 25, write to Dr. Buckles right now and tell him what for. 55:49.313 --> 55:51.055 There might be a few aberrant... Adam and Joe. 55:51.075 --> 55:56.780 sits at music at bbc.co.uk I'm generalising that I think our listeners are either very young and don't know any better. 55:59.304 --> 56:06.109 Or they're more sort of our age, but I think I not such nonsense nonsense, but I think the young does he hop hop? 56:06.209 --> 56:11.533 Hop the funny Easter Bunny the funny Easter Bunny is back with the voice of Russell Brand. 56:11.813 --> 56:12.734 Would you like to see? 56:13.455 --> 56:14.555 Arthur starring 56:15.636 --> 56:31.340 um sorry did i break the desk james when i thumped my hands one of the mics has gone wonk wonkazoid i won't thump the desk anymore i'm sorry about that so listen that's exciting isn't it that dj uh dj jaguar skills has sampled weesticks yeah he's like the chris morris of the remix world 56:31.480 --> 56:32.540 Yeah, you can't believe it. 56:32.600 --> 56:35.481 Adams, he's put his hands on his head as if he's just trying to take it all in. 56:35.501 --> 56:37.082 I'm showing off my stinky sweat patches. 56:37.102 --> 56:38.462 It's very exciting. 56:39.222 --> 56:39.702 That's great. 56:39.742 --> 56:40.262 Thank you very much. 56:40.282 --> 56:41.123 Who was that that sent that in? 56:41.543 --> 56:44.204 That was sent in by Abby in Feltham Young Offenders Institution. 56:44.224 --> 56:45.104 Thank you very much, Abby. 56:45.204 --> 56:46.244 Or in the place Feltham. 56:46.264 --> 56:47.584 Here's a free play for you, Joe. 56:47.785 --> 56:52.926 Yeah, this is Sam Amedon, who's an American folk-y type sing-y man, and this is called Fall On My Knees. 56:54.955 --> 57:08.411 Scratchin' Scratchin' Widget Widget Widget Scratchin' Scratchin' Scratch Scratch Scratchin' I'm a man, I live in a rocket My name's Herbie and I got a pocket In the pocket is a little man And the name of the man is Tony! 57:09.332 --> 57:10.973 Over to you Joe and Seacorns! 57:13.115 --> 57:13.356 Hello. 57:14.676 --> 57:14.956 Hello. 57:15.156 --> 57:15.637 There we go. 57:16.417 --> 57:18.298 Wow, that was a very good Herbie Hancock impression. 57:18.318 --> 57:18.958 It was good, wasn't it? 57:18.978 --> 57:19.579 Good rapping as well. 57:19.599 --> 57:20.199 I met him once. 57:20.279 --> 57:20.979 I just made that up. 57:21.059 --> 57:22.420 On the top of my head I was rapping. 57:22.580 --> 57:23.500 Did you meet Herbie? 57:23.540 --> 57:23.761 I did. 57:23.781 --> 57:24.761 He was exactly like that. 57:24.881 --> 57:25.321 Herbles? 57:25.481 --> 57:25.742 Yeah. 57:26.042 --> 57:29.243 It was in the foyer of the Barbican. 57:29.303 --> 57:29.824 The foyer? 57:29.944 --> 57:32.605 Yeah, he was playing Headhunters and I shook his hand. 57:32.685 --> 57:33.245 Did you? 57:33.265 --> 57:34.586 I was very tempted to crush it. 57:35.026 --> 57:38.272 And did he say- Because he's got the most amazing hands obviously because he played the piano. 57:38.352 --> 57:39.053 So he wanted to destroy them. 57:39.073 --> 57:46.325 It was very trusting for him to stand there and shake all these people's hands because all somebody needed to do was be like Jaws in the James Bond film. 57:47.827 --> 57:49.569 Punch his bones and that'll be it! 57:49.829 --> 57:52.232 You gotta be a bit of a nutbag though to do that, don't you? 57:52.252 --> 57:53.333 Destroy the hand of the man you love. 57:53.554 --> 57:53.754 Hi. 57:55.516 --> 57:58.239 Did he say, oh my god, it's JC! 57:58.499 --> 58:01.222 I can't believe it's, I can't believe it's Dr. Sexy! 58:01.282 --> 58:02.083 It's Jaycorn! 58:02.704 --> 58:06.168 Will you please, will you please do an impression of me rapping Jaycorn? 58:06.368 --> 58:07.589 having microphone problems here. 58:07.669 --> 58:13.074 Sorry, I think Dr. Buckles caused a lot of technical problems after thumping my fists on the desk. 58:13.174 --> 58:16.498 We've had a lot of emails in from 17 to 25 year olds. 58:16.538 --> 58:16.858 Oh really? 58:17.038 --> 58:17.899 Who are furious with you. 58:17.939 --> 58:18.700 Disproving my fear. 58:18.720 --> 58:20.021 You've alienated a lot of them now. 58:20.201 --> 58:21.142 I didn't say I didn't want them to listen. 58:21.162 --> 58:22.103 There goes your youth vote. 58:22.143 --> 58:27.168 I was just worried that they may not and that they were too busy listening to Tommy Freckles. 58:27.188 --> 58:29.630 What's his name, the guy on Radio 1 that I was talking about earlier? 58:29.992 --> 58:30.833 DJ Flippy Flip. 58:31.293 --> 58:32.053 Matt Edmondson. 58:32.093 --> 58:32.734 There you go, yeah. 58:32.894 --> 58:34.855 And DJ Jaguar Skills and that kind of thing. 58:35.095 --> 58:35.595 Made up jokes? 58:35.836 --> 58:36.916 Yeah, let's have some made up jokes! 58:37.036 --> 58:38.097 Come on, let's have a jingle! 58:38.137 --> 58:38.497 Here it is! 58:38.837 --> 58:40.438 I'm a funny person. 58:40.918 --> 58:42.539 I often make up jokes. 58:42.920 --> 58:47.062 My jokes are more amusing than those of other folks. 58:47.682 --> 58:51.445 When you hear my joke, I think you'll find that you agree. 58:51.905 --> 58:55.727 Come on, you're all invited to a made up joke party. 58:57.248 --> 59:00.331 Now we should alert you to an extraordinary thing that's happened online. 59:00.391 --> 59:02.353 Here's an email from PJ in Manchester. 59:02.413 --> 59:03.374 Hello Adam, hello Joe. 59:03.414 --> 59:09.179 I've had a lot of repetitive work to do recently and to combat the boredom, I listened back to some older podcasts, including your own. 59:09.540 --> 59:20.069 I reached the point where you began including the made up joke section into the Chuckle Mix and after a curious Google, I was unable to find a definitive list of the jokes featured in the show. 59:20.390 --> 59:22.512 I've therefore thrown one together at the following address. 59:23.012 --> 59:23.332 address. 59:23.452 --> 59:24.512 I can't speak today. 59:25.913 --> 59:28.894 Http colon forward slash forward slash. 59:29.014 --> 59:30.334 Do I need to do that anymore? 59:31.394 --> 59:32.454 What kind of address is that? 59:32.875 --> 59:34.455 I haven't finished yet. 59:34.715 --> 59:43.597 Forward slash made up joke party all one word dot tumbler dot com tumbler spelt t u m b l r if you're not familiar with tumbler. 59:44.237 --> 59:46.178 That's made up joke party dot tumbler dot com. 59:46.938 --> 59:49.039 Glad to have you chaps back on the wireless PJ from Manchester. 59:49.319 --> 01:00:02.083 So you should go and check out that site because he has archived I think I'm not sure whether he's done it exhaustively, but he's certainly archived a lot of the made up jokes that have been read out on this program. 01:00:02.103 --> 01:00:03.643 He's the designeth immaculate. 01:00:03.743 --> 01:00:08.586 I don't know if he's like a special web design professional, but he's done an amazing job. 01:00:08.606 --> 01:00:10.808 It's beautiful to look at and they're very well collated. 01:00:11.348 --> 01:00:16.391 And if you ask me, it's the beginning of a resource that the internet sorely lacks. 01:00:16.452 --> 01:00:18.213 We couldn't find a proper joke database. 01:00:18.233 --> 01:00:22.516 There are one or two things claiming to be joke databases, but they're not very thorough. 01:00:22.576 --> 01:00:24.017 Quality control is a bit random. 01:00:24.097 --> 01:00:24.377 Yeah. 01:00:24.557 --> 01:00:29.620 I mean, the other thing is that it is a bit of a nest of eggs. 01:00:30.221 --> 01:00:31.482 What's the word I want? 01:00:31.602 --> 01:00:32.322 Crown of thorns. 01:00:35.064 --> 01:00:38.047 It's a bit of a worm basket, um, because- Can of worms. 01:00:38.627 --> 01:00:39.248 Yeah, can of worms. 01:00:39.368 --> 01:00:40.289 There you go. 01:00:40.309 --> 01:00:41.030 That's what I was after. 01:00:42.110 --> 01:00:42.831 Nest of eggs. 01:00:43.612 --> 01:00:44.372 It's a bit of a nest of eggs. 01:00:44.633 --> 01:00:49.297 Because, um, he's got, like, for example, the bad Minton joke on there. 01:00:49.557 --> 01:00:52.579 Which I think everyone agrees now is a Tim Vine joke. 01:00:52.599 --> 01:00:58.885 But I don't know if he's credited that to Vine on the actual... But there needs to be... I mean this whole problem would be solved by Jokepedia. 01:00:59.425 --> 01:01:02.728 By a central database of all jokes that records their history. 01:01:03.228 --> 01:01:05.650 And when they were first... It would be like the Doomsday Book. 01:01:06.010 --> 01:01:06.451 Sure it would. 01:01:06.491 --> 01:01:07.151 But for jokes. 01:01:07.592 --> 01:01:09.173 So I think that's the beginning of that PJ. 01:01:09.213 --> 01:01:12.155 You might have saddled yourself with a job for life that pays you nothing. 01:01:12.335 --> 01:01:13.076 Yeah, good one. 01:01:13.536 --> 01:01:17.480 Now here we're going to add to... Now here we're going to add to that database now. 01:01:18.140 --> 01:01:19.640 This is from Marsho. 01:01:20.081 --> 01:01:21.861 Marsho's from Sydney, Australia, mate. 01:01:21.901 --> 01:01:22.241 Mate! 01:01:22.681 --> 01:01:23.262 Mate! 01:01:23.282 --> 01:01:26.063 I tell you what, it's absolutely lovely there at the moment. 01:01:26.303 --> 01:01:27.263 Is it nice? 01:01:27.303 --> 01:01:29.684 Not necessarily weather-wise, but just the general feeling. 01:01:29.704 --> 01:01:30.444 Just the vibe, mate. 01:01:30.464 --> 01:01:31.404 It's absolutely lovely. 01:01:31.424 --> 01:01:34.365 Oh, it's so nice, you could get just tanned by the vibe. 01:01:34.445 --> 01:01:38.246 Gonna pop down the... What's the main road there called Oxford Street? 01:01:38.266 --> 01:01:38.586 Roadie. 01:01:38.887 --> 01:01:39.587 Roadie Road? 01:01:39.667 --> 01:01:40.187 Yeah, Roado. 01:01:40.387 --> 01:01:42.149 I could have a lovely outdoor break here. 01:01:42.169 --> 01:01:42.889 You're going down roto. 01:01:43.049 --> 01:01:44.130 I'm going down roto. 01:01:44.291 --> 01:01:45.812 Ah, so nice there today, mate. 01:01:46.272 --> 01:01:47.033 I'll see you on roto. 01:01:47.413 --> 01:01:48.454 Watch out for that roo. 01:01:49.936 --> 01:01:57.603 So, um, Marshall says, so did you hear about those removal men who could stuff hundreds of cooling devices into their low slung vehicle? 01:01:58.103 --> 01:02:12.233 they formed a band and call themselves the fan low van crim criminals the fan low van criminals the fan low van cramming alls the fan low van criminals fan low van crime 01:02:19.309 --> 01:02:20.169 It's a tuneful one. 01:02:20.190 --> 01:02:20.690 A tuneful one. 01:02:20.710 --> 01:02:22.431 You've got a tuneful part. 01:02:22.491 --> 01:02:23.211 It was tough. 01:02:23.471 --> 01:02:24.552 He had to break the ice. 01:02:24.592 --> 01:02:27.334 He was the first joke off the segment. 01:02:27.354 --> 01:02:29.495 We went in with quite a complicated one. 01:02:30.415 --> 01:02:31.936 I've got another quite similar one here. 01:02:32.316 --> 01:02:35.458 I do like ones like these because they're so tortured you know that they're authored. 01:02:36.099 --> 01:02:43.343 Dear Adam and Joe, back in the day my sister and I made up a game where we tried to construct the most contrived, pun-filled sentence possible. 01:02:43.943 --> 01:02:48.728 I believe that one of our efforts can be turned into a hilarious joke, although many friends and acquaintances disagree. 01:02:49.348 --> 01:02:55.574 What did the furniture repair man say to the customer who wanted to do the furniture repairs without any assistance? 01:02:56.935 --> 01:03:00.378 I don't stink stoolby table to do it draw shelf. 01:03:02.040 --> 01:03:02.600 That's good. 01:03:02.800 --> 01:03:03.081 Come on. 01:03:03.661 --> 01:03:04.142 You do that again. 01:03:05.313 --> 01:03:10.859 What did the furniture repair man say to the customer who wanted to do the furniture repairs without any assistance? 01:03:23.433 --> 01:03:24.454 That is a tongue twister. 01:03:25.014 --> 01:03:25.394 Where is it? 01:03:25.794 --> 01:03:26.695 I don't, I don't. 01:03:26.795 --> 01:03:27.055 Oh yes. 01:03:27.255 --> 01:03:28.715 I don't stink. 01:03:29.296 --> 01:03:30.396 You can't say stink, it's sink. 01:03:30.516 --> 01:03:33.638 I don't sink stool to be, it's impossible. 01:03:33.958 --> 01:03:36.699 I don't sink stool to be able to do it yourself. 01:03:36.779 --> 01:03:37.259 It's impossible. 01:03:37.319 --> 01:03:37.800 It's very good. 01:03:37.840 --> 01:03:38.360 That's very good. 01:03:38.380 --> 01:03:40.421 And that comes from Daniel and Laura. 01:03:40.481 --> 01:03:45.663 If anyone would like to buy this joke for use in Christmas crackers or stand up routine, then we're open to offer. 01:03:45.703 --> 01:03:46.844 So Daniel and Laura, thanks. 01:03:46.884 --> 01:03:47.044 Bye. 01:03:47.584 --> 01:03:54.049 Here's some pithy ones, which I do believe were authored by the people who say they done them. 01:03:54.569 --> 01:03:59.252 This is from Bill Booth in Tottenham, and he says, I made two made-up jokes. 01:03:59.892 --> 01:04:03.055 They caused those near and dear to me to become deeply morose. 01:04:04.335 --> 01:04:05.876 Always the sign of a good joke. 01:04:06.197 --> 01:04:08.338 But they are self-authored, and I'm proud of them. 01:04:08.738 --> 01:04:12.901 Number one, why did the Belgian keep mixing up his indefinite articles? 01:04:13.502 --> 01:04:14.602 Because he was Anne Twerp. 01:04:15.823 --> 01:04:16.364 That's good. 01:04:16.404 --> 01:04:16.884 I like that. 01:04:16.924 --> 01:04:17.405 That's good. 01:04:17.425 --> 01:04:18.466 Because he was Antwerp. 01:04:18.506 --> 01:04:19.367 He's Antwerp. 01:04:19.848 --> 01:04:20.308 Antwerp. 01:04:21.249 --> 01:04:21.690 Number two. 01:04:21.950 --> 01:04:24.112 Which American state is Scooby-Doo from? 01:04:25.114 --> 01:04:25.534 Idaho. 01:04:26.916 --> 01:04:27.857 That's quite good. 01:04:28.417 --> 01:04:28.898 Idaho. 01:04:29.318 --> 01:04:31.340 I mean, they've possibly been done before. 01:04:31.681 --> 01:04:33.122 Shut up! 01:04:33.623 --> 01:04:34.204 I will not. 01:04:34.344 --> 01:04:35.025 Shut up! 01:04:35.065 --> 01:04:36.386 I maintain that they may have been done before. 01:04:36.406 --> 01:04:36.606 Shut up! 01:04:36.626 --> 01:04:36.967 Shut up! 01:04:38.696 --> 01:04:40.357 Shut up! 01:04:40.457 --> 01:04:40.937 Shut it! 01:04:40.957 --> 01:04:42.517 Shut it! 01:04:42.577 --> 01:04:42.737 No! 01:04:43.377 --> 01:04:43.577 No! 01:04:43.717 --> 01:04:43.817 No! 01:04:43.877 --> 01:04:44.058 No! 01:04:44.158 --> 01:04:44.318 No! 01:04:44.478 --> 01:04:44.718 No! 01:04:44.798 --> 01:04:45.178 No! 01:04:45.738 --> 01:04:46.058 No! 01:04:46.138 --> 01:04:47.659 No! 01:04:47.879 --> 01:04:48.079 No! 01:04:48.099 --> 01:04:48.439 Shut up! 01:04:48.699 --> 01:04:48.919 No! 01:04:49.119 --> 01:04:49.319 No! 01:04:49.439 --> 01:04:49.719 No! 01:04:49.739 --> 01:04:50.479 Oh, that's amazing. 01:04:50.879 --> 01:04:51.780 An amazing film. 01:04:52.200 --> 01:04:52.740 That's a good joke. 01:04:52.760 --> 01:04:53.040 Good jokes. 01:04:53.060 --> 01:04:53.460 Who are they from? 01:04:53.700 --> 01:04:55.081 That's Bill Booth from Tottenham. 01:04:55.621 --> 01:04:55.901 Okay. 01:04:56.561 --> 01:04:57.181 Here's another one. 01:04:57.741 --> 01:04:59.822 This is from Simon Bennett in Crouch End. 01:05:00.522 --> 01:05:02.023 And this is more a witty thing he said. 01:05:02.063 --> 01:05:02.264 Yeah. 01:05:02.484 --> 01:05:02.724 All right. 01:05:03.124 --> 01:05:08.228 We were in a Spanish restaurant eating tapas and a friend raised the question, what supermarkets do they have in Spain? 01:05:08.328 --> 01:05:10.290 I promptly replied, I think they must have Spain's breeze. 01:05:11.631 --> 01:05:12.251 He did it fast. 01:05:12.452 --> 01:05:13.933 Spain's breeze, Spain's bang. 01:05:14.073 --> 01:05:15.214 Straight in there with Spain's breeze. 01:05:15.234 --> 01:05:15.794 Spain's breeze. 01:05:16.034 --> 01:05:16.595 Spain's breeze. 01:05:17.759 --> 01:05:18.520 They do, don't they? 01:05:19.340 --> 01:05:21.882 Spain sprays. 01:05:23.002 --> 01:05:24.864 That was from Simon Bennett in Crouch. 01:05:25.184 --> 01:05:30.888 James Neat says, and here's a nice pithy one, which I'm not sure maybe has been made before. 01:05:31.288 --> 01:05:34.130 James Dyson is launching a new range of vacuum cleaners. 01:05:34.630 --> 01:05:35.951 He's adding to his hoovera. 01:05:37.172 --> 01:05:37.912 His hoovera. 01:05:40.314 --> 01:05:40.454 Hey! 01:05:42.537 --> 01:05:53.687 Hey, this would be an opportune time to comment on some of the emails we received after complaining about that hand washer, the Dyson hand washer somebody said pushed the water up onto your wrists. 01:05:54.048 --> 01:05:59.633 And lots of people emailed in to say that people who found water being pushed onto their wrists were doing it wrongly. 01:05:59.713 --> 01:06:24.725 incorrectly using the blade insert your hand sideways laterally then pull out and then pull out so the water is pushed down towards fingertips yeah you deserve water on your cuffs if you're misusing the blade you've got to look at the instructions he's adding to his hover I've got one or two jokes that only work in select company yeah I picked them out because you can only say them in crowds that will understand certain things so these won't play widely 01:06:25.405 --> 01:06:25.605 Right. 01:06:25.665 --> 01:06:26.785 You've got to be careful where you use them. 01:06:26.906 --> 01:06:27.206 Yeah. 01:06:27.726 --> 01:06:32.387 So here's one, for instance, from John the entomologist. 01:06:32.627 --> 01:06:33.748 John the entomologist! 01:06:33.928 --> 01:06:35.188 What does an entomologist do, Adam? 01:06:35.928 --> 01:06:36.529 Insects, isn't it? 01:06:36.689 --> 01:06:37.349 Yeah, correct. 01:06:38.069 --> 01:06:38.609 Hi, Adam and Joe. 01:06:38.629 --> 01:06:40.410 This joke only works in certain circles. 01:06:40.470 --> 01:06:40.810 Question. 01:06:41.070 --> 01:06:47.892 Why was the sleeping giant blinded when a Sassanid Persian cavalry man charged into his face? 01:06:48.112 --> 01:06:49.993 Because he had a cataphract in his eye. 01:06:56.550 --> 01:07:01.158 The reason a cataphract was a type of armored heavy cavalry used in ancient warfare by a number of cultures 01:07:05.031 --> 01:07:05.571 I like these ones. 01:07:05.591 --> 01:07:07.852 Here's another one that can only be used in select company. 01:07:08.232 --> 01:07:09.453 And this is by Gareth Carroll. 01:07:10.653 --> 01:07:18.617 What did two... What did two compound... Oh, God. 01:07:19.397 --> 01:07:19.777 You do one. 01:07:19.797 --> 01:07:20.537 I'll come back to this one. 01:07:20.637 --> 01:07:21.038 All right, then. 01:07:21.678 --> 01:07:23.318 Here's a really nice one, I think. 01:07:23.379 --> 01:07:24.259 Phil McNamara. 01:07:25.039 --> 01:07:26.080 He's a male, man. 01:07:26.520 --> 01:07:28.421 He says... And this is just a one-liner. 01:07:29.001 --> 01:07:32.182 There's a convent full of stupid people, except for one. 01:07:32.602 --> 01:07:33.603 And she's none the wiser. 01:07:40.906 --> 01:07:45.088 I'm going to have a second try at this joke that only works in select company. 01:07:45.728 --> 01:07:52.551 What did two compound analgesic painkillers do to jointly encrypt the burrowing garden mammal? 01:07:52.571 --> 01:07:53.452 Flipping heck. 01:07:53.492 --> 01:08:00.775 What did two compound analgesic painkillers do to jointly encrypt the burrowing garden mammal? 01:08:02.509 --> 01:08:03.269 Kokodomol. 01:08:10.251 --> 01:08:11.951 Did you hear Julian's Kokodomol joke? 01:08:12.331 --> 01:08:17.093 It's the funniest analgesic comment that I've heard all month. 01:08:17.133 --> 01:08:18.633 He was absolutely the star of the conference. 01:08:19.033 --> 01:08:22.934 Some people come out with the most tedious analgesic jokes. 01:08:27.816 --> 01:08:29.457 Michael McIntyre should open with that. 01:08:29.697 --> 01:08:32.138 Listen, I think that's a new subsection of made up jokes. 01:08:33.119 --> 01:08:33.879 What would you call it? 01:08:33.939 --> 01:08:38.181 I don't know, just incredibly incredibly hard to get jokes. 01:08:38.221 --> 01:08:41.883 Yeah, man, we could carry on, but we have to do other things in this program. 01:08:41.903 --> 01:08:43.704 We could just do a whole made up joke show. 01:08:43.784 --> 01:08:46.186 We've said it before, but please keep them coming in. 01:08:46.266 --> 01:08:47.727 Sorry if we didn't read yours out. 01:08:47.767 --> 01:08:49.467 We read them all, though, and very much enjoy them. 01:08:49.487 --> 01:08:51.929 And you never know, they may end up on that database right now. 01:08:51.989 --> 01:08:53.009 Here's Arcade Fire. 01:08:53.049 --> 01:08:53.990 This is ready to start. 01:08:55.134 --> 01:09:21.458 that was good wasn't it arcade fire with ready to start this is adam and joe here on bbc6 music nice to have you along and we've pushed right the way through the noon barrier i don't know if you noticed that nice um and uh i think we should get back to text the nation right now but uh we're going to do so by way of a new jingle another new jingle that's been sent in thank you so much for these please keep them coming and this is a dubstep 01:09:21.778 --> 01:09:47.808 uh treatment of the song wars theme by oliver dentith from manchester he presumably would be in trouble if he was a dentist don't you think with that surname that radio program Adam Buxton a funny man he's got a wheezy laugh let's hear the jingle 01:09:54.853 --> 01:09:55.853 What if I don't want to? 01:09:55.913 --> 01:10:01.895 What if I don't want to? 01:10:05.456 --> 01:10:06.456 What if I don't want to? 01:10:06.477 --> 01:10:07.497 What if I don't want to? 01:10:07.537 --> 01:10:08.377 What if I don't want to? 01:10:08.397 --> 01:10:15.359 What if I don't want to? 01:10:15.379 --> 01:10:19.720 What if I don't want to? 01:10:19.760 --> 01:10:20.581 What if I don't want to? 01:10:20.601 --> 01:10:21.541 What if I don't want to? 01:10:29.716 --> 01:10:30.997 Come on, Jaguar skills. 01:10:32.098 --> 01:10:33.920 Stick that in your groove pipe and smoke it. 01:10:33.980 --> 01:10:35.141 It's extraordinary business. 01:10:35.221 --> 01:10:35.581 Yeah. 01:10:35.721 --> 01:10:36.862 Do you know what that reminds me of? 01:10:37.002 --> 01:10:37.143 No. 01:10:38.904 --> 01:10:40.165 When you're on a dance floor, right? 01:10:40.426 --> 01:10:43.748 Like what we are all the time, because we've got a club in our lot. 01:10:43.929 --> 01:10:55.699 And when you think you know when the beat's going to come in, and you get your body physically ready to really do a big star jump, and then whoever's done the record knows you're thinking that and they undercut you by tricking you. 01:10:55.859 --> 01:10:58.701 Yeah, they put in... I mean a lot of contemporary dance music is like that anyway, isn't it? 01:10:59.202 --> 01:11:02.505 And it sorts out the weep from the chaff on the dance floor whether you know when it's going to drop. 01:11:02.785 --> 01:11:05.487 Oliver Dentith knows that and that's why he done that jingle. 01:11:07.609 --> 01:11:09.450 So you're a dentist and what was your surname? 01:11:09.931 --> 01:11:10.331 Dentith. 01:11:11.312 --> 01:11:11.792 Dentist? 01:11:12.052 --> 01:11:12.433 Dentith. 01:11:14.597 --> 01:11:15.397 You'll never get over that. 01:11:15.618 --> 01:11:16.758 Hey, what? 01:11:17.218 --> 01:11:27.003 So the topic for this week's Text the Nation, the topic was, but it's fiddles, little fiddles you enjoy doing that maybe irritate other people, but you can't get by without. 01:11:27.623 --> 01:11:28.624 I drum my heel. 01:11:29.324 --> 01:11:33.026 I like to push my lower lip and bite down on it with my top teeth. 01:11:33.566 --> 01:11:35.087 But here's, I'm going to clear my throat, sorry. 01:11:36.347 --> 01:11:37.308 Nice, I caught that. 01:11:41.024 --> 01:11:43.226 Sorry, here's one from Matt. 01:11:43.286 --> 01:11:45.588 I'm sorry about that listeners, I do sincerely apologise. 01:11:47.389 --> 01:11:50.632 I enjoy flicking my Adam's apple with my index and middle fingers. 01:11:50.692 --> 01:11:51.572 It helps me think. 01:11:52.013 --> 01:11:53.474 Now someone I know, do you do that? 01:11:53.794 --> 01:11:59.058 Only when you're doing a... Well I do that because I do the wick-a whistle and this is true. 01:11:59.258 --> 01:12:00.599 I wouldn't want to do that. 01:12:01.160 --> 01:12:09.726 I'd be frightened I might, because in my mental brain I see the Adam's apple as a sort of ball, a kind of ball bearing held in a sort of 01:12:10.687 --> 01:12:20.719 Sort of sort of quite feeble tube yes, and I would one I would worry if I flicked it too hard it Michael It might pop out Swallow it and it would just roll out through your bottom. 01:12:20.779 --> 01:12:24.223 Yeah, and it would pop into the Davi later I'd have to pop it back in 01:12:26.378 --> 01:12:26.919 Could that happen? 01:12:26.959 --> 01:12:27.559 Has that happened? 01:12:27.740 --> 01:12:28.540 I'm sure it's happened. 01:12:28.640 --> 01:12:30.142 It should happen in a horror film. 01:12:30.182 --> 01:12:31.823 That would be bad, wouldn't it? 01:12:35.306 --> 01:12:37.929 There's probably some sort of Heimlich maneuver you can do to pop it back up. 01:12:40.891 --> 01:12:41.492 That's a good one though. 01:12:41.532 --> 01:12:43.854 I flick my cheeks sometimes to make it, you know. 01:12:45.235 --> 01:12:46.596 to make the drop of water. 01:12:46.696 --> 01:12:48.078 That's more of a trick than a fiddle. 01:12:48.378 --> 01:12:49.319 Here's one from Louise. 01:12:49.639 --> 01:12:57.825 I have a pair of earrings that are just the right length and shape to repeatedly flick one up into my ear and shake it out. 01:12:58.366 --> 01:12:59.386 Very satisfying. 01:12:59.787 --> 01:13:01.608 So she can flick it up and let it sit in her ear. 01:13:01.908 --> 01:13:03.710 And presumably she waggles her head and lets it drop out. 01:13:03.850 --> 01:13:04.951 Might be nice and cool. 01:13:05.351 --> 01:13:06.992 Is that what the metal is? 01:13:07.012 --> 01:13:07.613 The inner ear. 01:13:07.653 --> 01:13:08.474 Your ear is too hot. 01:13:08.954 --> 01:13:10.135 You pop the earring in. 01:13:11.696 --> 01:13:13.017 Well, here's one from Nell. 01:13:13.557 --> 01:13:16.258 I like to cross my little toe over the one next to it. 01:13:16.618 --> 01:13:18.979 I do this on both feet with my big toes. 01:13:19.359 --> 01:13:23.141 My husband hates it, but I feel right and I will never stop doing it. 01:13:23.421 --> 01:13:23.921 Right. 01:13:24.481 --> 01:13:32.785 My wife does this thing where she balances, I'm just reminded by that, holds her arm in the air and just sort of balances it as if like... 01:13:33.525 --> 01:13:33.905 Weird. 01:13:33.925 --> 01:13:37.467 Sounds like some lady yoga thing she's read in some mag. 01:13:37.487 --> 01:13:43.449 I don't know what she's doing, but in her mind, she is not using any effort to keep the arm in the air. 01:13:43.589 --> 01:13:44.150 You know what I mean? 01:13:44.170 --> 01:13:46.290 She's just like... I smack it down. 01:13:46.591 --> 01:13:48.531 Yeah, quite rightly. 01:13:48.551 --> 01:13:49.132 What are you doing? 01:13:49.932 --> 01:13:50.912 Get your arm down! 01:13:50.932 --> 01:13:53.874 If there's no reason for your arm to be in the air, then stop it, woman! 01:13:54.314 --> 01:13:55.634 Where's my fish fingers? 01:13:57.455 --> 01:14:24.637 that's the way to do it here's one from uh brow fiddler in leeds fiddle i rub my eyebrows the wrong way so they're all tufty nice then i take satisfaction in making them all perfect by smoothing them down again well something nice right now the fun thing to do is like for a joke present at a stag party that i went to the other day with lots of middle-aged men at it um someone had got us all nose hair trimmers and eyebrow trimmers 01:14:25.257 --> 01:14:33.623 And so the fun thing I do every now and again is I ruffle up my eyebrows and then I trim the heck out of them with the little eyebrows. 01:14:33.663 --> 01:14:33.943 Do you? 01:14:34.083 --> 01:14:34.304 Yeah. 01:14:34.404 --> 01:14:35.284 You trim your eyebrows. 01:14:35.624 --> 01:14:42.249 I mean, I remember because sometimes they can get well unruly and there's nothing a woman hates less than an unruly brow. 01:14:42.269 --> 01:14:45.731 There's nothing a woman loves more than a man with well-groomed eyebrows. 01:14:46.992 --> 01:14:47.513 Exactly. 01:14:47.553 --> 01:14:49.294 That's what I wanted to say, not hates less. 01:14:50.060 --> 01:14:57.484 Matt Peace in Stourbridge writes, similar to your lip loop, I pluck the hair that sprouts between my bottom lip with my teeth. 01:14:58.204 --> 01:15:00.045 Oh, beneath my bottom lip with my teeth. 01:15:00.106 --> 01:15:02.247 It hurts, but in a good way. 01:15:03.808 --> 01:15:06.729 So that's that biting or a little bit of beard underneath it. 01:15:07.089 --> 01:15:07.910 How do you do that? 01:15:08.030 --> 01:15:08.990 Get it in your teeth there. 01:15:09.090 --> 01:15:09.371 Really? 01:15:09.411 --> 01:15:11.872 So you have to get the hair between the teeth and then pull it out. 01:15:11.892 --> 01:15:12.712 That's tricky. 01:15:13.053 --> 01:15:15.294 But as a beard owner, you, you're good at it. 01:15:16.016 --> 01:15:24.579 Sometimes what I do is when my moustache overhangs, I'll grab a little bit of that between my teeth and yank one out just to give myself a little painful thrill. 01:15:24.679 --> 01:15:25.359 Here's one from Andy. 01:15:25.379 --> 01:15:25.919 Hi Adam and Joe. 01:15:25.939 --> 01:15:30.421 My sister Nikki has a major body fiddle with her ear that she's done since she was a toddler. 01:15:30.821 --> 01:15:38.623 She's been doing it so long now that she's able to tuck her ears into their own holes and leave them there for about half an hour, happily disturbing all around her. 01:15:38.763 --> 01:15:41.244 I used to be very jealous of people at school who could do that. 01:15:41.844 --> 01:15:47.787 People at school I was jealous of, people who could do that ear thing and then they could flick the lobe and the ear would unfold itself. 01:15:48.027 --> 01:15:48.487 Boing! 01:15:48.947 --> 01:15:53.509 And then I was also jealous of the people who could fold their eyelids. 01:15:54.389 --> 01:15:55.130 Yeah, that's tricky. 01:15:55.150 --> 01:15:56.710 You don't want to start messing with that. 01:15:56.950 --> 01:15:57.851 No, I mean it's dangerous. 01:15:57.871 --> 01:15:58.431 It's grotesque. 01:15:58.771 --> 01:16:02.993 You know, you shouldn't do things like stick cotton buds too far in your ears either while we're at it. 01:16:03.593 --> 01:16:09.077 So listen, those are very brilliant responses to our Text The Nation subject and don't forget you can text as well 64046. 01:16:10.158 --> 01:16:12.940 We'll return to the subject once more before the end of the show. 01:16:13.140 --> 01:16:14.501 Here is Noah and the Whale. 01:16:14.541 --> 01:16:16.383 This is called Tonight's The Kind Of Night. 01:16:17.644 --> 01:16:19.185 Tonight's The Kind Of Night. 01:16:22.859 --> 01:16:25.582 That's Noah and the Whale, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC6Music. 01:16:25.602 --> 01:16:37.257 Don't forget that you can hear our new Song Wars songs on the blog right now and the address of the blog is bbc.co.uk slash blogs slash Adam and Joe. 01:16:38.078 --> 01:16:40.740 And they are Royal Wedding themed songs this week. 01:16:40.860 --> 01:16:48.625 And you can vote for which one is your favourite by emailing adamandjoe.sixmusic at bbc.co.uk. 01:16:49.145 --> 01:16:52.728 Oh, the voting will close next Thursday, Friday. 01:16:54.848 --> 01:16:56.950 Dear me, I stood outside in the garden. 01:16:57.150 --> 01:16:57.470 Did you? 01:16:57.511 --> 01:17:02.976 Because I was convinced the Lancaster bomber and the flypast would fly over my house because they usually do. 01:17:03.657 --> 01:17:09.263 So I ran out when Kate and Wills came on the balcony and stood in the garden in my dressing gown and pajamas. 01:17:09.443 --> 01:17:09.623 Sure. 01:17:09.943 --> 01:17:10.284 It didn't. 01:17:11.004 --> 01:17:11.745 I was furious. 01:17:11.785 --> 01:17:12.226 Sorry mate. 01:17:12.266 --> 01:17:14.428 And I missed the big kiss and everything. 01:17:14.648 --> 01:17:15.929 I didn't see any of that, unfortunately. 01:17:15.949 --> 01:17:16.350 Didn't you? 01:17:16.770 --> 01:17:18.091 I tell you what the most amazing thing was. 01:17:18.111 --> 01:17:18.712 I'm going to watch it again. 01:17:19.112 --> 01:17:24.277 It was the way the police have honed their kettling techniques in a benign way. 01:17:24.697 --> 01:17:32.505 So they did this amazing sort of benign kettling where they controlled the flow of the crowd up the Mall to Buckingham Palace. 01:17:32.525 --> 01:17:33.606 Did you see that, James? 01:17:34.066 --> 01:17:35.187 And it was amazingly done. 01:17:35.267 --> 01:17:40.152 At first I thought they weren't going to let the crowd get as close to the palace as they usually do. 01:17:40.712 --> 01:18:00.971 but then they start the pleats line started advancing forward and this massive crowd sort of fanned around and joined and unified and then went right up to the gate wow it was very whoever organized that thing the television coverage it was super super smooth yeah the crowd everything the crowd handling i thought it was amazingly organized crowd choreography yeah 01:18:01.391 --> 01:18:12.381 nice job that's my tuppence worth and that was the i loved it thank you very much it's an opinion program and another edition of joe cornish and his tuppence next week uh but now it's 12 30 and it's time for the new 01:18:13.345 --> 01:18:14.005 That's the beat. 01:18:14.886 --> 01:18:16.747 With hands off she's mine. 01:18:17.408 --> 01:18:19.489 Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 01:18:19.689 --> 01:18:20.469 Nice to be with you. 01:18:21.010 --> 01:18:22.290 How about some Traveling Tales? 01:18:22.631 --> 01:18:23.671 That's a very good idea. 01:18:35.339 --> 01:18:35.579 All right. 01:18:36.160 --> 01:18:37.201 All right. 01:18:37.301 --> 01:18:43.045 Now here's one that was sent in by our kind of in-house illustrator man James Hood. 01:18:43.506 --> 01:18:46.468 Has James illustrated every show so far or just the first couple? 01:18:47.008 --> 01:18:48.670 I don't think I've seen his last couple yet. 01:18:49.150 --> 01:18:50.411 Well you can see them on the blog. 01:18:50.471 --> 01:18:51.852 He's a man that got in touch with the show. 01:18:51.892 --> 01:18:53.554 He's a talented illustrator James Hood. 01:18:54.094 --> 01:19:00.180 and he has very kindly illustrated various aspects of this show which you can see on our blog. 01:19:00.200 --> 01:19:04.683 A reminder that's bbc.co.uk slash blogs slash adamandjoe. 01:19:05.104 --> 01:19:10.609 Anyway, James gets in touch on the subject of travel and tales. 01:19:10.989 --> 01:19:15.573 Hi Adam and Joe, hope all's well with you on the subject of nightmare train journeys. 01:19:15.953 --> 01:19:18.676 I was once on a train sitting next to Richard Herring. 01:19:19.276 --> 01:19:26.821 friend of Six Music of course, he was minding his own business, watching Curb Your Enthusiasm, and tweeting frantically on his iPhone. 01:19:27.382 --> 01:19:37.448 A small boy, perhaps five years old, was sitting opposite him, eating crisps and swinging his legs, and in so doing, accidentally kicked Richard Herring's knee softly a number of times. 01:19:37.949 --> 01:19:41.351 This visibly upset Richard Herring, who began to stare the child out. 01:19:41.831 --> 01:19:48.936 When this didn't work, Richard Herring, the man, checking the mother wasn't looking, kicked the five-year-old boy back somewhat harder. 01:19:49.716 --> 01:20:11.292 the boy moved to sit opposite us and spent the rest of the journey kicking my wife so in short herring kicks child carrying kicks five-year-old child assaulted by television comedian yeah exactly and he says also could you pass my congratulations to Joe for his success with attack the block looking forward to seeing that next month thank you very much James hood 01:20:12.192 --> 01:20:13.553 Have you got any travelling tales there? 01:20:13.593 --> 01:20:14.253 Yes, I do. 01:20:14.693 --> 01:20:18.795 Here is one from... I tell you what, I'm going to leave the name until the end of the email. 01:20:19.035 --> 01:20:20.856 Here is my annoying train story. 01:20:20.916 --> 01:20:26.098 In fact, that's written in capital, so... Here is my... ANNOYING TRAIN STORY! 01:20:26.803 --> 01:20:27.243 There we go. 01:20:27.283 --> 01:20:33.967 On a journey from Sheffield to London not so long ago, a family of parents, a daughter, and the daughter's boyfriend sat adjacent to me. 01:20:34.388 --> 01:20:37.670 I have to add, the daughter and boyfriend were at least 30 years old. 01:20:38.230 --> 01:20:47.215 They started this two-hour journey with a homemade London quiz, loudly shouting the answers out, questions such as, where did all the pearly kings and queens originate from? 01:20:47.796 --> 01:20:51.518 Then they all proceeded to decorate gingerbread men with icing. 01:20:51.758 --> 01:20:51.938 What? 01:20:52.438 --> 01:20:54.960 Then they got the ticket woman to judge the gingerbread men. 01:20:55.120 --> 01:20:57.462 and declare the winner, which meant more noise. 01:20:57.963 --> 01:21:03.067 Finally, they unveiled a large spread of all kinds of smelly food, including alcohols. 01:21:03.427 --> 01:21:07.351 And after eating it all, they proceeded to brush the crumbs in my direction. 01:21:08.072 --> 01:21:12.896 I have a few qualms with crumbs and food on trains, so this was particularly annoying. 01:21:13.156 --> 01:21:15.638 I arrived in London, not very happy, had a terrible night out. 01:21:15.819 --> 01:21:17.140 Love from Emily, a woman. 01:21:18.281 --> 01:21:21.723 So she has become infuriated by a very infuriating family. 01:21:21.743 --> 01:21:26.206 By a jolly family who are making their own entertainment on a train and involving everyone in the fun. 01:21:28.348 --> 01:21:29.949 A gingerbread icing competition. 01:21:30.369 --> 01:21:31.430 A homemade quiz. 01:21:31.470 --> 01:21:32.991 Judged by the conductor. 01:21:33.631 --> 01:21:37.494 But it's funny isn't it, like one person's good time can be the other person's living hell. 01:21:37.894 --> 01:21:40.596 You know I would say that kind of behaviour is a little tiresome. 01:21:40.616 --> 01:21:41.377 Whose side would you be on? 01:21:42.157 --> 01:21:43.438 Well I'd be on the side of the lady. 01:21:43.458 --> 01:21:44.379 Emily's or happy family? 01:21:45.239 --> 01:21:51.326 It depends how happy they are if they're really, you know, they can they can have their own good times without annoying everyone else, surely, can't they? 01:21:51.907 --> 01:21:53.068 Not when Emily's sitting near them. 01:21:53.128 --> 01:21:53.769 I guess not. 01:21:54.610 --> 01:22:01.198 Here's someone who was outraged by the story I was telling last week, or at least my response to the story that someone told about 01:22:02.179 --> 01:22:05.903 ruining the fun of people who try and reserve seats next to them by piling their bags. 01:22:05.943 --> 01:22:09.686 Yes tactics for trying to get a spare seat get a bit of space around you. 01:22:10.387 --> 01:22:24.120 And this is from Victoria Green who says as a long time fan of the show and a regular almost daily user of trains I was disappointed to learn that you Adam Buxton are among the many who believe your bag deserves a separate seat all by itself. 01:22:24.660 --> 01:22:29.701 You say that people can always ask you if they want to sit down but my feeling is they shouldn't have to. 01:22:30.082 --> 01:22:34.143 What if someone is a tiny bit shy, has a bad throat or doesn't speak the language? 01:22:34.623 --> 01:22:46.366 I got on a train yesterday and when somebody quite rightly asked the man opposite me if he could take the seat that was currently occupied by the man's bag, said man begrudgingly picked it up saying, if you have to. 01:22:46.866 --> 01:22:52.428 I wanted to punch him but contented myself with giving him evil looks which of course he didn't notice. 01:22:52.888 --> 01:22:55.030 You must stop this selfish practice now! 01:22:55.570 --> 01:23:02.335 I was going to email you initially about something else, but once inflamed with anger about your train etiquette or lack thereof, I forgot what. 01:23:02.635 --> 01:23:04.136 Yours hopefully, Victoria Green. 01:23:04.196 --> 01:23:04.857 I'm confused. 01:23:04.897 --> 01:23:05.837 What's the gist of that? 01:23:06.378 --> 01:23:15.725 So she is basically saying that it's not good enough for me to, you know, say that I'm going to take my bags away if anyone else comes and wants to use them. 01:23:16.045 --> 01:23:19.107 She's just outraged by anyone being selfish enough to do the bag piling. 01:23:19.127 --> 01:23:20.108 Here's the key. 01:23:20.148 --> 01:23:21.329 How small is your smallest child? 01:23:22.329 --> 01:23:22.489 Two. 01:23:22.810 --> 01:23:23.030 Two. 01:23:23.150 --> 01:23:23.790 What's the middle? 01:23:23.810 --> 01:23:24.511 How old is Natty? 01:23:24.771 --> 01:23:25.011 Six. 01:23:25.271 --> 01:23:25.531 Six. 01:23:25.671 --> 01:23:25.932 Okay. 01:23:26.512 --> 01:23:27.993 And you've got quite a big rucksack, haven't you? 01:23:28.013 --> 01:23:30.395 I've got a collection of small ones. 01:23:30.435 --> 01:23:31.655 Pop Natty in the rucksack. 01:23:31.715 --> 01:23:31.895 Yes. 01:23:32.236 --> 01:23:33.897 Make some little leg holes and arm holes. 01:23:34.217 --> 01:23:40.681 And when anyone complains, that's Natty's cue to stick his limbs out the holes and his head would pop up and he'd shout something aggressive. 01:23:40.701 --> 01:23:41.141 A turtle. 01:23:41.382 --> 01:23:43.183 So it's an immediate switcheroo. 01:23:43.203 --> 01:23:44.243 The person thinks it's a bag. 01:23:44.304 --> 01:23:45.184 It's not a bag, it's a person. 01:23:45.364 --> 01:23:46.025 It's a little baby. 01:23:46.065 --> 01:23:46.685 And they're sussed. 01:23:46.745 --> 01:23:47.406 It's a little guy. 01:23:47.486 --> 01:23:49.267 It's a little guy, a little chappie, a happy chappie. 01:23:49.447 --> 01:23:49.607 Yeah. 01:23:49.747 --> 01:23:50.808 Yeah, problem solved. 01:23:50.828 --> 01:23:51.509 That's a brilliant idea. 01:23:51.529 --> 01:23:52.911 Come to the Cornballs with your problems. 01:23:52.951 --> 01:23:53.711 Thanks, Cornballs. 01:23:53.791 --> 01:23:55.253 I mean, I'd probably do it with my two-year-old. 01:23:55.273 --> 01:23:56.374 She's easier to carry. 01:23:56.494 --> 01:23:57.556 Yeah, good idea. 01:23:57.576 --> 01:23:59.578 Well, you've got a different kid for each sized bag. 01:23:59.838 --> 01:24:00.098 Sure. 01:24:00.158 --> 01:24:01.820 Depending on your travel props. 01:24:01.840 --> 01:24:02.481 Thanks, Cornballs. 01:24:02.521 --> 01:24:06.445 Here's a fun... I'm very enthusiastic. 01:24:06.926 --> 01:24:08.608 It sounds like you're just trying to make me feel happy. 01:24:10.971 --> 01:24:13.152 I don't know if you're planning on dragging out the train game item. 01:24:13.392 --> 01:24:14.052 Yes, we are. 01:24:14.612 --> 01:24:17.772 But if you are, here is my game. 01:24:18.012 --> 01:24:19.133 Oh, this is the wrong one. 01:24:19.193 --> 01:24:20.433 I wasn't going to read this one out. 01:24:20.893 --> 01:24:21.533 I'm backpedaling. 01:24:21.773 --> 01:24:22.513 I'm sorry, Amy. 01:24:22.553 --> 01:24:25.374 Hey, can we have that weird noise that someone sent in? 01:24:25.394 --> 01:24:30.955 This is from Sam Goddard, who says, a few months ago, I was traveling from London Bridge back to my home in Tadworth. 01:24:31.235 --> 01:24:34.315 Half days after a long day at work, I heard this voice. 01:24:34.395 --> 01:24:37.476 I don't know if I was listening to a hypnosis tape. 01:24:38.776 --> 01:24:41.679 or the calm voice of a Hannibal type character. 01:24:42.280 --> 01:24:46.304 To this day I can't work out if the voice was the driver or some amazing computer voice. 01:24:46.624 --> 01:24:49.387 I've played this sound clip to many people and opinion is split. 01:24:49.567 --> 01:24:50.488 What do you think listeners? 01:24:56.253 --> 01:25:03.278 We'll serve it now for that freedom, smithom, wooden-stone, chip-stead, kingswood, tapworth, and tat-in-caller. 01:25:04.599 --> 01:25:08.221 That is a good voice. 01:25:08.821 --> 01:25:14.885 It sounds like he's got a pinched nose and he's peculiarly elongating certain words. 01:25:15.706 --> 01:25:18.087 It's too eccentric to be a computer, isn't it? 01:25:18.107 --> 01:25:19.028 That's a real guy. 01:25:19.048 --> 01:25:20.989 No, I think it's a computer what has gone wrong. 01:25:21.289 --> 01:25:21.910 You reckon? 01:25:22.130 --> 01:25:22.390 Yeah. 01:25:22.790 --> 01:25:23.691 A party computer? 01:25:23.731 --> 01:25:26.312 That has been wrong. 01:25:26.332 --> 01:25:31.316 But if you were a real guard and you didn't want any hassle from the passengers, that would be the way to play it. 01:25:31.416 --> 01:25:31.816 That's right. 01:25:31.916 --> 01:25:37.180 Stay in your box and talk like a robot whenever you have to talk through the talking thing. 01:25:37.360 --> 01:25:41.283 Welcome aboard the 855 service to Atworth. 01:25:42.463 --> 01:25:43.164 Hope you're enjoying. 01:25:43.204 --> 01:25:47.267 Don't forget that a full-body service is available in the muffin carriage. 01:25:49.288 --> 01:25:57.335 I think you'll find that more and more in public life as lazy workers try and get off things pretending to be Roberts. 01:25:57.395 --> 01:26:03.821 Like if you were a genuine human living phone answerer in some call centre, you could just pretend to be a robot. 01:26:04.201 --> 01:26:06.363 Then you wouldn't have to interact with anybody. 01:26:07.504 --> 01:26:09.425 Wicked idea that is a wicked idea. 01:26:09.525 --> 01:26:20.651 Just pretend if we could do it on this program Hello, welcome to Adam and Joe on six music Have you ever pretended to be a Robert on the phone because you know sometimes? 01:26:21.251 --> 01:26:25.153 You'll get through to someone's answering machine and their message will be so conversational. 01:26:25.173 --> 01:26:30.536 You're actually fooled You know the message will be something like hi Thanks for calling 01:26:31.696 --> 01:26:33.898 And you think the persons are robots. 01:26:34.238 --> 01:26:34.639 Hello. 01:26:34.659 --> 01:26:36.080 Hi. 01:26:36.420 --> 01:26:37.361 Not sure that's happened to me. 01:26:37.801 --> 01:26:51.633 You know what I do like to do is if I call up an automated answering machine, I like to talk to them in a highly obscene way and get quite sweary and aggressive because of course they can't respond their robots. 01:26:52.233 --> 01:26:53.755 But it's a good way to let off steam. 01:26:54.555 --> 01:26:57.998 So when I select my films, I do it in a very, very racy fashion. 01:26:59.299 --> 01:27:00.740 Peppered with foul language. 01:27:01.021 --> 01:27:05.224 And if it's being recorded for quality control purposes, so much the better. 01:27:05.744 --> 01:27:07.686 Here's a free play for you right now, listeners. 01:27:08.306 --> 01:27:14.051 And this popped up accidentally on my MP3 player the other day, but I enjoyed the heck out of it. 01:27:14.791 --> 01:27:18.074 It is from April 1992. 01:27:18.434 --> 01:27:26.820 Track sampled from a reggae number from Jar Screechie entitled Walk and Skank, which itself was based on Slim Smith's Never Let Go. 01:27:27.201 --> 01:27:28.822 Joe, who am I talking about? 01:27:29.002 --> 01:27:30.344 I have no idea, I wasn't listening. 01:27:31.485 --> 01:27:34.028 I'm talking about, of course, SL2. 01:27:34.229 --> 01:27:35.110 This is on a ragged tip. 01:27:36.481 --> 01:27:36.561 Ah, 1992. 01:27:36.722 --> 01:27:38.663 I like it, I like it, it's good. 01:27:38.863 --> 01:27:42.546 A great period for music and one of the greatest records from that period. 01:27:42.606 --> 01:27:48.952 Hey James, shall we have the classic Text-A-Nation jingle to get us into a final bit of Text-A-Nation right now? 01:27:49.032 --> 01:27:50.413 Hang on a second, what's that? 01:27:50.433 --> 01:27:52.074 This is someone sent in a design. 01:27:52.375 --> 01:28:01.963 Earlier in the program, Count Bicules was fretting over what outfit he should wear to a premiere he's going to next week, and someone has sent in rather a beautiful drawing of him. 01:28:02.583 --> 01:28:11.568 The premiere is for the film Attack the Block, so this person suggested that Adam might go in a big cardboard block costume, which is quite good. 01:28:11.808 --> 01:28:14.810 And I'm holding a sign that says, when are we filming my scenes? 01:28:16.031 --> 01:28:18.592 That's a little bit of a painful reminder. 01:28:19.032 --> 01:28:19.733 Hey, you are in it. 01:28:20.333 --> 01:28:20.794 Well, I'm in. 01:28:21.134 --> 01:28:21.654 What am I in? 01:28:21.714 --> 01:28:24.897 Like the telly in the background and the voice of the nature doc? 01:28:24.917 --> 01:28:25.858 That came from Toby Smith. 01:28:26.078 --> 01:28:29.041 Yeah, it's a very prominent, important, pivotal moment. 01:28:29.181 --> 01:28:29.522 Okay. 01:28:29.642 --> 01:28:30.783 Thanks for that, Toby Smith. 01:28:30.963 --> 01:28:32.424 Yeah, let's have the textination, James. 01:28:34.707 --> 01:28:35.467 Textination. 01:28:35.587 --> 01:28:36.648 Text, text, text. 01:28:36.748 --> 01:28:37.489 Textination. 01:28:37.549 --> 01:28:38.510 What if I don't want to? 01:28:38.770 --> 01:28:39.491 Textination. 01:28:39.591 --> 01:28:40.592 But I'm using email. 01:28:40.752 --> 01:28:41.493 Is that a problem? 01:28:41.513 --> 01:28:42.073 It doesn't matter. 01:28:42.114 --> 01:28:42.394 Text! 01:28:44.744 --> 01:28:56.691 So the text the nation's subject this week listeners is all about body fiddles sort of irritating little habitual things not irritating to you but irritating to other people that you do to pass the time when you're thinking or and you don't quite sort of realize you're doing it. 01:28:57.112 --> 01:29:00.013 Here is one from Duncan who is aged between 17 and 25. 01:29:00.214 --> 01:29:02.075 Yeah in my face. 01:29:02.295 --> 01:29:03.656 He says re body fiddles. 01:29:03.896 --> 01:29:08.118 I sometimes like to grab my cheek and gradually pull it while keeping my lips closed. 01:29:08.439 --> 01:29:12.421 Eventually a sort of vacuum effect is created and a short burst of air rushes in. 01:29:13.742 --> 01:29:13.962 Does it? 01:29:14.864 --> 01:29:15.064 Yeah. 01:29:16.264 --> 01:29:17.905 I don't even want to make that noise a lot. 01:29:18.305 --> 01:29:18.945 Let's move on. 01:29:19.525 --> 01:29:27.027 Here is one from Lou on way to Liverpool from Bath for a wedding listening on Cardi AB. 01:29:27.687 --> 01:29:33.249 When I'm thinking or getting excited, I rub my palms briskly together, keeping my hands very straight. 01:29:35.750 --> 01:29:38.233 People say I look like a smiling, insane miser. 01:29:40.597 --> 01:29:41.998 You generate quite a lot of heat when you do that. 01:29:42.019 --> 01:29:42.699 That can be dangerous. 01:29:42.719 --> 01:29:43.601 The hands can combust. 01:29:43.981 --> 01:29:45.603 That's how spontaneous human combustion starts. 01:29:45.944 --> 01:29:46.204 Is it? 01:29:46.525 --> 01:29:46.745 No. 01:29:47.145 --> 01:29:49.468 No, by people rubbing their hands together. 01:29:50.285 --> 01:29:53.607 Dear Adam and Joe, this is from Liv Coombs, a woman, in Portishead. 01:29:53.828 --> 01:29:59.552 Dear Adam and Joe, whenever I'm bored, I get my finger and put it in my mouth in the cheek area and make a pop sound. 01:29:59.592 --> 01:30:00.652 It's very satisfying. 01:30:01.033 --> 01:30:04.795 Obviously, it's very annoying and is followed by glares from my fellow classmates. 01:30:05.236 --> 01:30:08.098 I do love the noise though, says Liv Coombs. 01:30:08.638 --> 01:30:09.759 Is she just talking about that? 01:30:10.359 --> 01:30:10.960 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:30:11.100 --> 01:30:12.301 Just a basic... Doing the pop. 01:30:12.321 --> 01:30:13.201 That's quite an annoying fiddle. 01:30:14.222 --> 01:30:15.444 Okay, here is a tricky one. 01:30:15.464 --> 01:30:21.450 I want you to try and do this one as I read it out, please, Count Bucky Lees, because I don't really know what she's describing. 01:30:21.490 --> 01:30:22.191 Hey, Adam and Joe. 01:30:22.472 --> 01:30:23.333 Oh, he is describing. 01:30:24.194 --> 01:30:32.803 I lift all the fingers up apart from my middle finger, which I try and fold it into my hand, which I try and fold it into my hand. 01:30:33.484 --> 01:30:35.305 Is this from one of our 17 to 25 year olds? 01:30:35.825 --> 01:30:35.305 19. 01:30:36.105 --> 01:30:37.166 He's called Ollie, he's a male, he's 19. 01:30:37.246 --> 01:30:38.627 Okay, I'm going to read this verbatim. 01:30:39.027 --> 01:30:43.609 I lift all the fingers up apart from my middle finger which I try and fold it into into my hand. 01:30:44.049 --> 01:30:47.051 This somehow makes you lose control of it and it become limp. 01:30:47.631 --> 01:30:51.853 I then use my other hand to flick it the tip of it and watch it jiggle. 01:30:52.173 --> 01:30:56.656 My girlfriend makes me do it when she is bored but both of us get great satisfaction from it. 01:30:56.916 --> 01:31:01.458 I include a crude diagram I did on paint very quickly to demonstrate the hand position. 01:31:01.958 --> 01:31:03.639 Boy oh boy, that didn't make any sense. 01:31:03.759 --> 01:31:04.819 Oh, there we go, you're doing it. 01:31:05.740 --> 01:31:06.700 That's quite good, isn't it? 01:31:06.720 --> 01:31:08.161 It's not like the most fun thing ever. 01:31:08.441 --> 01:31:09.161 Well, they love it. 01:31:09.241 --> 01:31:11.922 Ollie and his girlfriend love it. 01:31:12.422 --> 01:31:13.283 What are you doing on Tuesday? 01:31:13.303 --> 01:31:14.383 Shall we do the thing with the finger? 01:31:14.983 --> 01:31:15.944 Yay! 01:31:16.204 --> 01:31:16.804 Here's one from Jim. 01:31:17.024 --> 01:31:21.626 I like to let my lips stick together, then inflate my mouth slowly with lung air. 01:31:21.866 --> 01:31:24.567 It's fun to see how inflated my mouth gets before my lips split. 01:31:25.088 --> 01:31:28.049 Also, on initial lip split, I like to stick my tongue through and wiggle it a bit. 01:31:28.829 --> 01:31:53.375 initial lip split so he's turning himself into a dizzy Gillespie type big cheek guy here's one from Robert in Bermondsey which I can relate to I have a peculiar habit of forming an extreme pout so that my top lip has made contact with the tip of my nose reminiscent of a chimpanzee I will then inhale deeply with satisfaction before relaxing my contorted face I probably do this around 20 to 30 times a day my god 01:31:55.462 --> 01:31:56.682 You can do that, I can't do that. 01:31:56.702 --> 01:31:58.843 Can you not get your lip- I can't get my lip up there, no. 01:31:58.883 --> 01:32:00.143 Is that as good as you can do, seriously? 01:32:00.163 --> 01:32:01.083 Yeah, can't get it up there. 01:32:01.103 --> 01:32:02.264 It's not anywhere near his nose. 01:32:02.324 --> 01:32:03.304 No, nowhere near it. 01:32:03.524 --> 01:32:04.744 It just looks like a sneer. 01:32:04.784 --> 01:32:06.485 He's doing a- I'm too handsome. 01:32:06.865 --> 01:32:07.645 I'm too handsome. 01:32:08.105 --> 01:32:08.545 Only the eye. 01:32:08.565 --> 01:32:12.506 I can more or less seal my nostrils with my top lip. 01:32:13.327 --> 01:32:15.567 I mean I've got a kind of big set of nostrils as well. 01:32:16.287 --> 01:32:16.787 Can't do it. 01:32:17.088 --> 01:32:17.548 Monkey nose. 01:32:18.408 --> 01:32:18.768 I like it. 01:32:19.187 --> 01:32:22.528 And then it's fun to smell your top lip as well sometimes. 01:32:23.189 --> 01:32:23.849 Yeah, is it? 01:32:24.209 --> 01:32:32.092 Yeah, yeah, if you've been, especially with a moustache, you know, if you've got any breakfast morsels left over, any sort of honey or stuff, it's nice. 01:32:32.312 --> 01:32:32.772 Nice. 01:32:32.972 --> 01:32:39.675 So listen, if you want to contribute to that Text The Nation, because the show's about to finish now, don't forget retro Text The Nation in next week's show. 01:32:39.935 --> 01:32:44.217 You can email during the week if you're listening again or listening to the podcast, adamandjo.6musicatpbc.co.uk. 01:32:45.597 --> 01:32:46.978 Uh, or, yeah, no, that's it. 01:32:46.998 --> 01:32:47.579 That's it. 01:32:47.979 --> 01:32:51.561 Here are the Grizzly Bears, and this is two weeks. 01:32:52.522 --> 01:32:54.083 Hmm, Grizzly Bear with two weeks. 01:32:54.403 --> 01:33:02.188 Well, this is, uh, pretty much goodbye now, listeners, for our show this week, but before we go, don't forget to download that podcast. 01:33:02.428 --> 01:33:04.209 It's gonna be available after 6 p.m. 01:33:04.269 --> 01:33:06.051 this evening, if you've never heard it before. 01:33:06.071 --> 01:33:08.132 Ho ho ho, I think you'll enjoy it. 01:33:08.552 --> 01:33:12.435 It's all the most, um, all the least rubbish bits compiled into it. 01:33:12.455 --> 01:33:12.695 Yeah. 01:33:13.095 --> 01:33:30.039 and the podcast will include of course both song wars songs but you can also hear both song wars songs on the blog they'll be up there in a few hours i think they're up there now for your listening and analytical pleasure and then don't forget to vote via email adamandjoe.sixmusic.co.uk and just put 01:33:30.719 --> 01:33:34.121 either Adam's name or my name in your subject heading. 01:33:34.621 --> 01:33:42.464 You can put the thinking behind your vote in the body of the email if you want but it's great to have your vote in the subject heading that'll be really good. 01:33:42.564 --> 01:33:54.569 Don't forget that you can contribute to this week's text the nation right the way through the week if you're listening to this program or listen again you can get involved right now and email us not text but email adamandjoe 01:33:55.189 --> 01:34:08.104 dot six music at BBC dot co dot UK with that or anything else you'd like to tell us from your week until we're together again next Saturday we very much hope you enjoy yourselves be kind to each other thank you so much for listening I love you