WEBVTT 00:00.902 --> 00:03.645 Easter from the big British castle. 00:03.685 --> 00:09.630 A-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K 00:16.055 --> 00:19.319 This is like a radio program from the distant past. 00:32.777 --> 00:33.318 Exactly. 00:33.578 --> 00:35.720 That's why I was talking in that ridiculous way. 00:35.901 --> 00:36.922 This is Adam here. 00:37.222 --> 00:37.843 Hey, good morning. 00:37.863 --> 00:38.504 This is Joe. 00:38.844 --> 00:41.827 Welcome to the Adam and Joe radio show here on BBC6 Music. 00:42.128 --> 00:47.394 And it's the entire nation of Britain bathed in glorious, yummy, honey-coloured sunshine. 00:47.894 --> 00:51.576 Sure they are, especially Kate and Wills, can you imagine? 00:51.856 --> 00:52.656 Can you imagine? 00:52.696 --> 00:55.337 Glorious, yummy coloured sunshine they're bathed in. 00:55.778 --> 01:06.702 Well, that's something to tease for this show because we really do have an extraordinary exclusive for you this morning on the Adam and Jo radio show here on 6music, obviously Royal Wedding Fever. 01:07.383 --> 01:14.386 And we've secured a guest who basically is the greatest guest you could possibly receive in this week. 01:14.686 --> 01:16.607 And no, no, no, not that guest. 01:17.307 --> 01:18.288 What's he doing in here? 01:18.849 --> 01:19.049 Out! 01:19.690 --> 01:19.890 Out! 01:20.391 --> 01:22.513 I thought we'd given him away to an orphan. 01:22.893 --> 01:24.275 He will come back. 01:24.295 --> 01:24.916 Get him out, James. 01:24.936 --> 01:25.436 Can you get him out? 01:25.476 --> 01:27.098 That's not the guest he's anticipating. 01:27.118 --> 01:28.019 The complete opposite. 01:28.580 --> 01:29.361 Adam, kick him out. 01:29.381 --> 01:29.901 He's out! 01:30.322 --> 01:31.683 He's like, get him out! 01:33.874 --> 01:37.155 Honestly, 15 months away, and he comes back. 01:37.455 --> 01:38.975 Well, he heard the word special guest. 01:39.275 --> 01:39.855 Oh, stink. 01:40.095 --> 01:41.275 And he's left a special present. 01:41.316 --> 01:43.196 No, the special guest is, of course, the queen. 01:43.456 --> 01:44.056 The queen. 01:44.136 --> 01:49.337 The queen of England will be here live in the studio later for an exclusive interview. 01:49.477 --> 01:50.017 That's amazing. 01:50.037 --> 01:51.097 Building up to the big day. 01:51.117 --> 01:52.078 She's been on the show before. 01:52.118 --> 01:53.158 How did we get the queen? 01:53.358 --> 01:56.259 Well, ever since she stopped presenting Blinder data. 01:56.399 --> 01:56.699 Yes. 01:56.999 --> 02:00.919 She has been a bit, she's got more free time, and she's a big, big fan of the show. 02:01.079 --> 02:02.820 She's got, like, quite a large beard. 02:03.960 --> 02:04.721 Have you noticed that? 02:05.261 --> 02:05.501 Yeah. 02:05.621 --> 02:05.882 Yeah. 02:06.662 --> 02:08.624 Well met some ladies when they get older. 02:08.844 --> 02:09.064 Yeah. 02:09.444 --> 02:11.466 You know, new listeners are going to be a bit mystified. 02:13.707 --> 02:14.188 By the Queen. 02:14.308 --> 02:15.448 You just got to roll with it, though. 02:15.949 --> 02:16.129 Yeah. 02:16.289 --> 02:18.711 You know, new listeners to this show have all kinds of problems. 02:18.791 --> 02:19.211 They do. 02:19.251 --> 02:21.152 That's the least of their problems. 02:21.233 --> 02:21.853 A wall of bafflement. 02:22.073 --> 02:23.074 A wall of bafflement. 02:30.419 --> 02:52.247 help anyway we got that plus lots of other tenuous features coming up in the show so please stay tuned uh here's a little bit of music in a second something else that'll mean absolutely we're gonna do the black squadron command soon the black squadron command that'll mean nothing to you as well if you've only just started listening you know james is this we're gonna play the jam i don't really like playing the jam because of the paul weller thing 02:53.127 --> 03:04.318 Yes, I feel like he hasn't had an incident Not only do I feel like he hates me I know that he hates me so it's a bit weird when we play the jam because it's like I'm what other people Out there love him. 03:04.639 --> 03:13.888 It's a great song the going underground by the jam I mean, you know, you can't argue with the classical smash attitude of the song, but it's like I 03:14.068 --> 03:15.549 There's a bully singing at me. 03:16.209 --> 03:16.890 Who hates me. 03:17.190 --> 03:18.131 Well, we don't want that. 03:18.691 --> 03:20.052 Let's have the Isley brothers instead. 03:20.092 --> 03:21.913 The Isley brothers don't hate me, I don't think. 03:22.093 --> 03:22.573 They love you. 03:22.593 --> 03:24.655 I haven't met them, so... Big fans of the show. 03:24.675 --> 03:25.415 They don't hate me yet. 03:26.396 --> 03:27.056 It's your thing! 03:27.216 --> 03:27.637 Here it is! 03:29.118 --> 03:29.578 There you go. 03:29.598 --> 03:30.438 That's nice, you see. 03:30.739 --> 03:31.459 Thanks for that. 03:31.899 --> 03:33.360 The Isleys, it's your thing. 03:33.380 --> 03:35.782 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music. 03:36.062 --> 03:37.623 Happy Easter as well, listeners. 03:37.903 --> 03:38.904 You know, for tomorrow, right? 03:39.597 --> 03:40.037 Yeah. 03:41.499 --> 03:44.702 And what a glorious sunshiny Easter day it is today as well. 03:44.722 --> 03:45.102 It's lovely. 03:45.382 --> 03:47.504 Hey, thank you very much as well to Sally Gossart. 03:47.985 --> 03:52.289 She has made some Adam and Joe Easter men, some cutout men. 03:52.849 --> 03:54.531 You can go on the blog and check these out. 03:55.712 --> 03:58.875 They are there, or they will be there on the blog. 03:59.656 --> 04:01.077 Joe, your mic's a bit weird. 04:01.337 --> 04:02.959 I'm having problems. 04:03.019 --> 04:04.080 I'm having problems. 04:04.100 --> 04:05.982 Sorry, problems have been fixed. 04:06.362 --> 04:07.083 Very rustly. 04:09.345 --> 04:10.025 Now listen to me. 04:11.066 --> 04:12.828 Why wasn't it like this in the first place? 04:12.848 --> 04:14.370 It's on the Liz Kerchaw setting. 04:17.012 --> 04:17.452 Right. 04:17.793 --> 04:19.814 So Sally's brilliant at making these things, isn't she? 04:19.954 --> 04:20.935 Yes, Sally Gossart. 04:20.955 --> 04:22.055 She's got it down to an art. 04:22.716 --> 04:23.516 A Sally Gossart. 04:23.697 --> 04:26.959 She's made some for the characters in Attack the Block as well. 04:27.039 --> 04:27.939 Very nice, yeah. 04:28.380 --> 04:29.180 And so they're on the blog. 04:29.280 --> 04:30.161 Go and check out our blog. 04:30.201 --> 04:31.021 It's amazing. 04:31.041 --> 04:35.724 You can spend hours and hours there just looking at the blog and reading the blog. 04:35.744 --> 04:37.446 I have to say, I'm a little jealous of your ears. 04:37.966 --> 04:38.706 I've got giant bunny ears. 04:38.726 --> 04:40.227 You've got very big bunny ears. 04:40.908 --> 04:42.629 I've got a little red pecky nose. 04:44.190 --> 04:47.395 But c'est la vie, n'est-ce pas? 04:47.415 --> 04:50.039 So you check out the jog... the blog. 04:51.120 --> 04:55.226 Basically, listeners, it takes about an hour for things to get going on the show, okay? 04:55.246 --> 04:56.187 So just make yourself a cocktail. 04:56.207 --> 04:57.770 And then they peak for about three minutes. 04:58.771 --> 05:00.634 Make yourself a pie and a cocktail, put your feet up. 05:00.905 --> 05:04.089 Here's the information you're going to need to interact with the programme this morning, though. 05:04.109 --> 05:05.570 The text number is 64046. 05:06.111 --> 05:09.134 The email is adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk. 05:09.374 --> 05:10.456 Were you going to do the blog address? 05:10.716 --> 05:14.821 Yeah, bbc.co.uk slash blogs slash adamandjoe. 05:15.001 --> 05:18.705 And of course, the first order of business this morning is the Black Squadron command. 05:18.785 --> 05:20.207 Do we have the jingle, please, James? 05:24.759 --> 05:45.528 Always catch the beginning of the show Black Squadron don't wanna miss a thing That's not the way Black Squadron rolls Black Squadron Went to bed at a reasonable hour Gotta be sharp on Saturday morning That's the secret of the Squadron's power Black Squadron 05:47.483 --> 05:54.470 Black Squadron is of course the elite listening force who listen live to this program between 10 and 11, no 10 and 1030. 05:54.550 --> 05:55.631 10 and 1030, is that what it is? 05:55.731 --> 05:56.872 It's the worst hour of the show. 05:57.132 --> 05:57.433 Really? 05:57.533 --> 05:58.774 So they're even braver. 05:59.294 --> 06:03.679 They're tough, they're hardy, they're bulletproof, they can put up with really sloppy broadcasting. 06:04.079 --> 06:07.542 Plus they are a unified and trained elite fighting force. 06:07.743 --> 06:08.143 That's right. 06:08.263 --> 06:14.709 And they have a series of skills usually involving household objects around them at the time that they can deploy at any given moment. 06:15.390 --> 06:20.935 And they're ready to be dropped into any major war zone or incident of civil unrest. 06:21.215 --> 06:23.977 So we're going to issue a command for the squadron right now. 06:24.017 --> 06:29.582 Commander Cornballs is going to issue the command and you need to have your photo devices standing by to take a picture of. 06:29.823 --> 06:31.064 It's a single word command. 06:31.224 --> 06:33.406 You can interpret that single word in any way you want. 06:33.746 --> 06:37.748 Once you take the picture, you have to send it into the email address that Joe gave earlier. 06:38.088 --> 06:44.571 Black Squadron are, of course, notorious for their speed of response, their accuracy of response, their creativity, and their inventiveness. 06:44.792 --> 06:44.992 Yeah. 06:45.552 --> 06:48.133 And they've never knowingly killed one of their own. 06:48.493 --> 06:49.274 No, no, no, no. 06:49.394 --> 06:49.974 Which is good. 06:50.034 --> 06:50.574 It's unique. 06:50.634 --> 06:53.796 Most armies, there's a bit of friendly fire and casualty, but that hasn't happened yet. 06:53.936 --> 06:54.736 No, because they're too good. 06:55.097 --> 07:01.160 Last week, I believe we received over 370 entries, many of which went up on the blog. 07:02.060 --> 07:03.461 So stand by for this week's command. 07:03.561 --> 07:05.062 It's quite exciting wouldn't you say? 07:05.142 --> 07:06.143 Very exciting! 07:06.163 --> 07:07.824 Very exciting indeed! 07:07.844 --> 07:11.587 Geez that's Rumpelstiltskin's comeback. 07:12.027 --> 07:13.748 The little gnomey man's back in here. 07:13.768 --> 07:20.413 It's a very crowded studio this morning what with the dog and the queen waiting in the waiting reception. 07:20.453 --> 07:21.274 Look at the queen. 07:22.194 --> 07:23.135 That is a full beard. 07:23.415 --> 07:25.677 She's let it really get unruly as well. 07:26.117 --> 07:28.319 And Rumpel's is in here as well under the desk. 07:29.099 --> 07:30.461 Get off my ankle, Rumpels! 07:30.982 --> 07:31.343 Here we go. 07:31.383 --> 07:32.585 Here's the Black Squadron command. 07:33.006 --> 07:33.446 Is this it? 07:34.648 --> 07:35.229 Yeah, yeah. 07:35.429 --> 07:35.850 Let's do it. 07:36.070 --> 07:38.454 Stand by, Black Squadron. 07:38.634 --> 07:40.337 Your command is... Robot! 07:43.703 --> 07:47.105 Yes, some extremely fast responses have come through already. 07:47.766 --> 07:51.248 We're early in the process of sifting and vetting the Black Squadron photos. 07:51.688 --> 07:55.851 There's going to be a lot of... There's going to be a tin foil shortage this weekend, isn't there? 07:55.891 --> 07:59.253 I was hoping there would be some tin foil employed and there has been already. 07:59.273 --> 08:04.217 We're going to have a close look at those and we'll get back to you with some, you know, named responses. 08:04.337 --> 08:05.678 Careful with that tin foil, though. 08:06.198 --> 08:21.729 why just because I you know it's very dangerous it can get hit by lightning you can get hit by lightning you can cook yourself if you wrap yourself up in that and put yourself stuff oven I mean yeah but if you went outside if you wrap yourself in foil like a robot and went outside in the 08:21.749 --> 08:33.194 Do you remember in the old days before people knew about how dangerous the sun's rays could be when we were little kids, people would purposely lie on tinfoil in order to reflect the sun's rays on the lower areas of their bodies? 08:33.234 --> 08:36.095 Yes, you'd get those ladies with sunglasses. 08:36.435 --> 08:38.096 And sort of fans like bibs. 08:38.536 --> 08:39.577 Bibs, mirror bibs. 08:39.637 --> 08:42.158 Mirror bibs to get their chinny chins all tanned. 08:43.058 --> 08:44.279 And they'd put olive oil on. 08:44.619 --> 08:46.080 Not even suntan oil, olive oil. 08:46.200 --> 08:48.642 Some people just smear a little bit of... Garlic butter. 08:48.782 --> 08:50.503 Garlic butter, bit of goose fat. 08:50.603 --> 08:52.444 Put some little chipolatas around their legs. 08:52.464 --> 08:54.385 That's what Delia Smith does when she's sunbathing. 08:54.426 --> 08:55.126 She does. 08:55.146 --> 08:57.347 She wraps... She has a couple of bacon bracelets on there. 08:57.508 --> 09:00.069 And Nigella Lawson, she just smears on the goose fat. 09:00.089 --> 09:02.171 Shoves a couple of carrots up her nose. 09:03.752 --> 09:04.212 Nice job. 09:04.753 --> 09:05.093 Thanks. 09:06.214 --> 09:07.755 Getting out of that corner. 09:09.436 --> 09:13.979 Hey, I've got new boots and they, um, like I bought new walking boots, right? 09:13.999 --> 09:14.499 Do you like them? 09:14.760 --> 09:15.320 Yeah. 09:16.841 --> 09:17.682 It's a fun sentence. 09:17.702 --> 09:18.962 Hey, I've got new boots. 09:19.463 --> 09:20.303 Well, I'm thinking about it. 09:20.323 --> 09:20.603 It's good. 09:21.244 --> 09:23.866 And, um, I got them yesterday about hiking boots. 09:23.906 --> 09:25.767 They're sort of... They're very modern hiking boots. 09:25.787 --> 09:27.788 They're like a cross between... I'm looking at them now. 09:27.808 --> 09:30.330 They're a cross between trainers and hiking boots. 09:30.410 --> 09:32.972 I'm like a space robot fighter man, aren't I? 09:32.992 --> 09:33.512 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 09:33.792 --> 09:35.833 Shoes, their shoes are exciting things these days. 09:35.853 --> 09:39.335 The only problem with them, and I realised this, they stink of wee. 09:40.916 --> 09:41.136 Why? 09:41.516 --> 09:43.137 I don't know why, but they do. 09:43.157 --> 09:50.901 I was working yesterday, I was breaking them in and I sat there at my computer and wearing them and they were thinking, oh these boots are comfortable. 09:50.941 --> 09:53.622 Are you really breaking in boots while you're sitting at your computer? 09:53.642 --> 09:53.942 Yeah. 09:54.683 --> 09:57.724 Surely walking up a hill or something would be the way to break in some boots. 09:57.744 --> 09:58.585 No, because I'm juggling. 09:59.125 --> 10:00.586 Are you juggling with the mouth? 10:00.647 --> 10:01.047 Joggling? 10:01.447 --> 10:01.828 No, with my feet. 10:01.848 --> 10:04.730 Oh, you're juggling with your feet, right. 10:05.391 --> 10:08.113 And I'm thinking, what is that wee wee smell? 10:08.574 --> 10:10.896 And I was at first, I was thinking, it's not me, is it? 10:11.016 --> 10:13.778 Have I just lost control of all my faculties? 10:14.299 --> 10:15.340 And I thought, no, that's not right. 10:15.600 --> 10:17.822 And then I thought maybe it was the blossom. 10:18.242 --> 10:23.565 Like, you know sometimes, like, very sweet blossom and flowers can slightly smell of urine? 10:24.106 --> 10:24.406 Sure. 10:24.726 --> 10:25.587 It's a natural smell. 10:25.607 --> 10:26.167 Yeah. 10:26.708 --> 10:28.689 And then I realized that it was my boots. 10:29.109 --> 10:31.951 So now I'm, like, as James pointed out earlier... That happens to you every day though. 10:32.211 --> 10:33.732 If it's not the boots, it's the trousers. 10:33.792 --> 10:35.754 If it's not the trousers, it's just your bed. 10:35.934 --> 10:37.095 Well this is the thing, isn't it? 10:37.175 --> 10:40.377 As James pointed out earlier, it's the picture of me as a tramp man. 10:41.157 --> 10:43.499 It's now becoming almost complete. 10:45.360 --> 10:46.842 I'm going to play some music right now. 10:46.862 --> 10:48.283 This is one of my free plays this week. 10:48.584 --> 10:57.993 Every week, Joe and myself get to pick three of our own songs to add to the list of excellent music that our producer and the playlist compilers here at Six Music compile for you. 10:58.654 --> 11:00.196 This is my first of them. 11:00.696 --> 11:03.940 And it's going really well, wasn't it fell apart. 11:04.540 --> 11:07.701 from an album that came out last year by The Chap. 11:07.721 --> 11:08.602 Have you ever heard of The Chap? 11:09.122 --> 11:10.562 They're an experimental pop band. 11:10.582 --> 11:11.403 Well, I know the magazine. 11:11.423 --> 11:12.583 There's a magazine called The Chap. 11:12.663 --> 11:13.163 Not related. 11:14.524 --> 11:17.445 Their music is a mix of rock and pop, it says on Wikipedia. 11:18.145 --> 11:19.666 And it's good stuff, man. 11:19.746 --> 11:21.186 Really enjoying Well Done Europe. 11:21.626 --> 11:26.148 And this is a track that's got a summary refrain called Even Your Friend. 11:27.182 --> 11:27.763 Yay! 11:27.823 --> 11:28.123 Well done. 11:28.163 --> 11:29.244 Let's know we're in the whale. 11:29.404 --> 11:31.706 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6Music. 11:32.187 --> 11:33.147 How you doing, listeners? 11:33.428 --> 11:34.368 Nice to have you along. 11:34.829 --> 11:39.853 Nearly time to stand Black Squadron down, but first let's have a look at through some... what? 11:39.954 --> 11:43.016 A look through some of the pictures that they sent, and what an incredible response. 11:43.076 --> 11:46.439 I know I say that every week, but this week it's a particularly incredible response. 11:46.860 --> 11:49.942 I mean, one guy got his photo in so very quickly 11:50.583 --> 11:53.544 and with such an extraordinarily elaborate robot outfit. 11:53.584 --> 11:54.784 His name is Gary Keller. 11:55.144 --> 11:56.505 Can you describe that, Adam? 11:56.965 --> 12:00.866 He looks like Bob Mould, if you know what Bob Mould looks like. 12:01.226 --> 12:06.228 And he's got a... He looks as if he's dismantled his water heater. 12:06.288 --> 12:07.408 He had that ready, though, didn't he? 12:07.468 --> 12:11.910 He's a man who has a robot costume that he's made himself, but he has it in his cupboard. 12:12.630 --> 12:21.297 It's metal, it's got dials on the front and bits of circuitry stuck to it and a little tap coming out where his robot winky should be. 12:21.317 --> 12:27.162 Best of all, he's got a sort of domed, sort of metallic cowl over his head. 12:27.362 --> 12:34.788 Yes, he's got like a big metal kidney dish that's acting as a hood there on top of the whole thing. 12:35.368 --> 12:36.989 Look, he's even got metal arms! 12:37.049 --> 12:39.591 He's got a skin-tight, metallic body suit. 12:39.892 --> 12:41.793 Come on, Gary, you've got to confess. 12:41.833 --> 12:42.734 Did you have that ready? 12:42.754 --> 12:44.715 Were you going to a robot party anyway? 12:44.735 --> 12:45.456 Because that's amazing. 12:45.476 --> 12:48.959 There are people like Dave Wilby, who has an actual Dalek in his house. 12:49.039 --> 12:49.299 Yeah. 12:49.479 --> 12:55.584 And has been able to take a picture of himself dressed as the Doctor, trying to repel it with some sort of a sonic screwdriver. 12:56.064 --> 12:59.867 There's people who've been more lo-fi, like... Lelisha? 12:59.947 --> 13:00.768 How would you say that? 13:01.208 --> 13:01.709 Latita. 13:02.169 --> 13:03.130 Latita, Lelita. 13:03.630 --> 13:06.812 who has merely positioned a cyberman helmet on her cat's head. 13:07.032 --> 13:07.892 That's a nice job though. 13:07.972 --> 13:08.713 It's very effective. 13:08.733 --> 13:15.476 Then there is sort of insane crazy robots like James Stringer who's merely just put tinfoil over his head. 13:15.577 --> 13:19.178 Wrapped tinfoil around his head, put some sunglasses on and then positioned himself under a fan. 13:19.639 --> 13:32.746 And then there are some sort of surreal high-impact robots like Peter Morton who seems to be in his office perhaps but he's drawn a robot face on an enormous cardboard box, put it on his head and he's doing the classic robot arms. 13:33.106 --> 13:34.949 You can't go wrong with that, can you? 13:34.989 --> 13:37.593 What is it about those arms that denote robotics? 13:37.613 --> 13:38.314 Just the angle. 13:38.434 --> 13:41.499 Just the right angle of the arm and the palm and thumb spread. 13:41.720 --> 13:42.160 Robot. 13:42.701 --> 13:42.861 Why? 13:42.921 --> 13:43.082 Why? 13:43.162 --> 13:43.462 Why? 13:43.903 --> 13:45.285 Well, because it's hard to articulate. 13:45.325 --> 13:48.070 Robots have trouble with... Is that from C-3PO or from Metropolis? 13:48.570 --> 13:50.071 It's got to be a bit of both. 13:50.171 --> 13:50.711 Bit of both. 13:50.891 --> 13:51.511 I'm saying a bit of both. 13:51.551 --> 13:52.252 The one in the same. 13:52.712 --> 13:55.933 So wow, I mean there's so many amazing robots that have come through. 13:56.313 --> 13:58.834 Various people have put pots and pans on their heads. 13:59.274 --> 14:07.457 Andy Brown seems to have put a large pan on his daughter's head and she's holding a whisk and a spoon and she's got a tinfoil. 14:08.238 --> 14:09.098 I'm building up to it. 14:09.138 --> 14:10.699 She's got a tinfoil skirt. 14:11.519 --> 14:22.249 But for eyes on the inverted pan, he's merely put two pieces of circular chorizo and they've obviously stuck because of their fatty content onto the metal. 14:22.990 --> 14:23.811 How terrifying. 14:23.851 --> 14:25.212 A robot with meat eyes. 14:25.332 --> 14:26.113 Salami eyes. 14:26.193 --> 14:27.034 Salami eyes. 14:27.735 --> 14:29.056 She looks like Lady Gaga. 14:30.317 --> 14:31.959 Lady Gaga wishes she looked like that. 14:31.979 --> 14:32.359 Yes. 14:33.220 --> 14:34.321 Anyway, Lady Gaga's over. 14:34.361 --> 14:35.122 I read it in The Guardian. 14:35.442 --> 14:36.142 Oh, really? 14:36.622 --> 14:39.443 The Guardian were the ones that told me that Lady Gaga was okay to like. 14:39.503 --> 14:39.924 Exactly. 14:40.864 --> 14:41.164 Thank you. 14:41.204 --> 14:42.525 That was an incredible response. 14:42.785 --> 14:43.165 Amazing. 14:43.205 --> 14:43.905 Keep them coming in. 14:43.945 --> 14:55.509 And don't forget, you can see all your pictures at the Adam and Joe blog, bbc.co.uk forward slash blogs, forward slash Adam and Joe, and they'll start going up as soon as we can get them up there. 14:55.709 --> 14:57.610 Let's stand down the squadron before the news. 15:01.483 --> 15:14.943 Stand down, your work is done You've earned yourself a nice warm bath And maybe a nice little bun It's just gone 10.30 here on 6music, it's time for the news 15:16.229 --> 15:20.372 Yes, that was Another Girl, Another Planet by The Only Ones. 15:20.492 --> 15:22.633 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music. 15:22.653 --> 15:23.333 What have you got there, Joe? 15:23.493 --> 15:25.214 I've got information about The Only Ones. 15:25.655 --> 15:28.276 It appears on the band's 1978 eponymous debut. 15:29.477 --> 15:33.600 The song holds place number 18 in John Peel's all-time festive 50. 15:33.920 --> 15:34.220 Wow. 15:34.820 --> 15:35.821 Quite an accolade there. 15:36.321 --> 15:40.043 They're a good band, and I really like them. 15:40.304 --> 15:41.224 And, um, yeah. 15:42.465 --> 15:43.986 So I was in Centreparks this week. 15:44.346 --> 15:47.449 I know, you had a little family holiday, didn't you? 15:47.549 --> 15:48.250 How exciting. 15:48.390 --> 15:49.211 It was amazing. 15:49.231 --> 15:54.235 What a great week, and hey, I should also say that we were talking about the whole of Britain being bathed in sunshine, it's not true. 15:54.436 --> 15:54.716 Is it not? 15:54.896 --> 16:01.882 Disgruntled listeners in Edinburgh have, hey, they need to be represented by this program as well. 16:03.163 --> 16:03.844 And apparently it's grey. 16:04.024 --> 16:04.444 I'm joking. 16:04.564 --> 16:04.905 It's grey. 16:05.025 --> 16:06.526 Is it grey and nasty in Edinburgh? 16:06.566 --> 16:09.428 I'm so sorry Edinburgh that it's grey and nasty. 16:09.468 --> 16:14.871 It's not nasty though it's grey but it's fun and everyone's having a fun Edinburgh style time I'm sure. 16:15.211 --> 16:20.515 All they got to do in Edinburgh is get together and blow the blow the clouds away. 16:20.815 --> 16:21.655 Blow the clouds away. 16:21.696 --> 16:24.037 Everyone just just faces into the sky and goes 16:25.858 --> 16:28.720 If enough people do it, you can make it sunny. 16:29.041 --> 16:32.083 Now what do you think the position is with grotesque Edinburgh accents? 16:32.543 --> 16:33.324 Is that acceptable? 16:33.684 --> 16:38.207 Like if they were- Well Robin Williams in Mrs Doubtfire. 16:39.568 --> 16:42.851 Now if you can do Mrs Doubtfire, then you're alright. 16:42.871 --> 16:46.513 That is actually as good as- Oh my dear! 16:46.653 --> 16:47.114 Oh my dear! 16:47.594 --> 16:48.715 Oh my boobies are on fire! 16:49.536 --> 16:50.736 I better get these panellins! 16:50.957 --> 16:52.238 Oh dear! 16:53.993 --> 16:58.034 I like it, is it? 16:58.054 --> 17:02.595 That's not dialogue from the film, but that's like the closed caption for the hard of hearing version. 17:02.915 --> 17:03.556 So that's fine. 17:03.576 --> 17:07.337 That's getting hysterical a bit early in the program. 17:07.377 --> 17:07.717 Yeah. 17:16.064 --> 17:16.885 Not for new listeners as well. 17:16.905 --> 17:19.767 People, American actors like doing a bad Scottish accent. 17:19.787 --> 17:23.969 They, it's like, um, it seems to be totally acceptable to do a rubbish Scottish accent. 17:24.270 --> 17:24.970 Grant's Keep a Willy. 17:24.990 --> 17:26.631 Mike Myers does one as well, doesn't he? 17:26.671 --> 17:26.931 Yeah. 17:27.032 --> 17:28.412 Who's the guy that does Grant's Keep a Willy? 17:28.452 --> 17:29.653 That's, um... I don't know. 17:29.733 --> 17:30.754 One of the Spinal Tap Chaps? 17:30.834 --> 17:34.036 One of the Ma... No, it's one of the, um, Henka Zaria, is it? 17:34.276 --> 17:34.437 Maybe. 17:34.517 --> 17:34.997 On Simpsons? 17:35.057 --> 17:36.318 Someone will correct me if I'm wrong. 17:36.958 --> 17:41.981 And yes, of course, Mike Myers, who, he never misses an opportunity to do his bad Scottish accent. 17:42.281 --> 17:43.942 He does it in So I Married an Axe Murder. 17:43.962 --> 17:44.923 So listen, I've done one. 17:45.363 --> 17:45.983 He's done one. 17:46.003 --> 17:47.384 Williams has done one. 17:47.724 --> 17:48.605 What about bucculies? 17:49.585 --> 17:53.788 Well, it's tough for me because my accents are very accurate. 17:54.388 --> 17:55.349 That is quite accurate. 17:55.449 --> 18:01.632 And that is an absolutely spookily accurate Scottish accent. 18:02.212 --> 18:04.674 And if I was blowing the clouds away, this is how I'd do it. 18:16.160 --> 18:20.207 Adam Buxton on BBC six music so I failed to talk about center parks 18:20.498 --> 18:21.178 You did, didn't you? 18:21.358 --> 18:22.619 We'll come back to that in another link. 18:22.659 --> 18:30.622 Listen, if you live in Scotland and you were insulted by Adam's accent, please get in touch. 18:30.642 --> 18:33.583 64046, adamandjoe.sixmusic, notice I'm not talking about my one. 18:35.404 --> 18:37.645 .sixmusicatpbc.co.uk. 18:37.805 --> 18:38.485 Thanks very much. 18:39.265 --> 18:42.967 Here is Cut Copy with You Need Now, or is that the other way around? 18:43.087 --> 18:44.407 No it is, it's right, it's Cut Copy. 18:44.567 --> 18:45.047 You need now. 18:45.388 --> 18:46.768 You need, need you now. 18:47.088 --> 18:47.728 Now you need. 18:48.169 --> 18:48.469 Need now. 18:50.726 --> 18:51.326 Cut copy. 18:52.067 --> 18:52.787 Need you now. 18:52.927 --> 18:55.628 They're a synth pop band from Melbourne, Australia, mate. 18:55.829 --> 18:58.670 Mate, that was from their third album, Zonoscope. 18:58.970 --> 19:00.431 Imagine having a Zonoscope. 19:00.451 --> 19:01.191 I've got one, mate. 19:01.211 --> 19:01.451 Have you? 19:01.471 --> 19:02.612 Yeah, it's in the garage. 19:02.832 --> 19:06.894 I spilt some oil over it, so it's a bit messy. 19:07.214 --> 19:08.355 But yeah, no, I do have one. 19:08.375 --> 19:09.315 Does it still work? 19:09.515 --> 19:09.995 No, mate. 19:10.536 --> 19:11.516 It doesn't, unfortunately. 19:11.836 --> 19:12.637 What's it called again? 19:12.697 --> 19:13.357 Zonoscope. 19:13.397 --> 19:14.097 A Zonoscope. 19:14.157 --> 19:17.139 No, I've run out of voibes. 19:19.386 --> 19:23.153 You need voids if you gotta you can't parry his own escape without a packet of voids. 19:23.514 --> 19:28.603 They used to do them at this at the Soupy yeah, but they don't anymore. 19:28.663 --> 19:31.889 That's what we call a supermarket in Australia or down the Marco 19:33.263 --> 19:53.159 can get voids up here white right that's nice if so if anyone's got any spare voids could they send them to Jeffries problem is voids are big you can't just pop them in your pocket you got to chop them up got to borrow Barry's truck you got to chop them up and the charmer's truck got to use the the Cheney right let's get into retro text the nation shall we here's the jingle 19:53.679 --> 20:08.226 I like to listen to Adam and Joan But I listen to the podcast, not the live show I used to feel a good frustration Cause I couldn't join in with Text the Nation 20:08.886 --> 20:23.133 But now my troubles have disappeared Because retrotext they make sure see And now my letter might be read out Instead of thrown in the trash and forgotten about 20:24.542 --> 20:25.743 Woah, what was going on there? 20:25.803 --> 20:26.464 Bin and trash. 20:26.484 --> 20:27.484 Bin and trash? 20:27.865 --> 20:28.405 Weird. 20:28.445 --> 20:29.166 It's mutated. 20:29.206 --> 20:31.387 That was to please everybody and nobody at the same time. 20:31.467 --> 20:31.668 Right. 20:32.008 --> 20:36.011 So we were talking about conflict resolution on last week's show. 20:36.551 --> 20:41.855 Was it conflict resolution or was it the pain of being in the middle of an argument that's nothing to do with you? 20:42.035 --> 20:42.676 It's a bit of both. 20:42.796 --> 20:43.557 It was a bit of both. 20:43.717 --> 20:47.920 You know, we're interested in the arguments and we're interested in ways that maybe you helped resolve them. 20:48.040 --> 20:48.320 Yeah. 20:48.360 --> 20:53.224 So you find yourself in the middle of one and then what's your tactic for defusing it? 20:53.424 --> 20:55.385 It's like being a bomb defusal expert. 20:55.726 --> 20:59.448 It's like being in that film, uh, watch out for that bomb. 21:00.009 --> 21:01.370 What was it called by? 21:01.890 --> 21:02.511 A dirty locker. 21:02.791 --> 21:03.711 Yeah, exactly. 21:03.771 --> 21:04.352 Hurt locker. 21:04.572 --> 21:05.353 It's just like that. 21:05.973 --> 21:07.794 but in a slightly safer context. 21:08.034 --> 21:08.394 Exactly. 21:08.454 --> 21:10.395 So do you want to lead off with this one? 21:10.635 --> 21:11.416 Sure. 21:11.816 --> 21:13.877 Here's one or two. 21:13.917 --> 21:18.359 Basically I've been through a lot of emails and I've compiled a little assemblage of different tactics. 21:19.319 --> 21:19.900 So here's one. 21:20.320 --> 21:24.041 Here's Eric the Swedish man with the spectacular surname Gudmundsson. 21:24.362 --> 21:25.182 Do you remember Eric? 21:25.402 --> 21:27.163 I think he might have written him before. 21:27.523 --> 21:34.685 He says, I usually start, and this is when he finds himself in the middle of an argument, I usually start singing the first few lines from Wannabe by the Spice Girls. 21:35.165 --> 21:37.646 This usually gets everyone extremely confused and silent. 21:37.966 --> 21:39.667 And if needed, I throw in a little dance. 21:40.627 --> 21:46.109 And here's another similar tactic from Ned Potter, who is a male and a librarian from York. 21:46.489 --> 21:53.511 He says in the middle of an argument, I like to take the side of the most unreasonable argument protagonist and agree with them wholeheartedly. 21:54.011 --> 21:56.852 This draws attention to the absurdity of the argument and makes it stop. 21:57.312 --> 22:00.952 So, with your Jonathan Creek example, I would have supported Tommy. 22:01.653 --> 22:05.493 Do we want to remind listeners of this fictional hypothetical scenario, Tommy and Tina? 22:05.533 --> 22:08.194 Tommy and Tina were arguing about Jonathan Creek. 22:08.214 --> 22:10.214 Because Tina announces she loves it. 22:10.354 --> 22:11.155 I'm doing it for you now. 22:11.455 --> 22:12.255 Just interrupting you. 22:12.375 --> 22:15.935 And Tommy was very embarrassed because he didn't think Jonathan Creek was worth trumpeting. 22:15.955 --> 22:17.996 And here's his technique. 22:18.856 --> 22:22.177 OH MY GOD, YOUR CHOICE OF TELEVISION IS ABJECT! 22:22.677 --> 22:27.398 JONATHAN KRIEKE, EHHH, I HATE THAT! 22:27.418 --> 22:28.718 I HATE THAT YOU EVEN SAID THAT! 22:28.999 --> 22:30.559 I'VE JUST BEEN SICK IN MY OWN MOUTH! 22:30.779 --> 22:32.940 That's his technique, that's what he would be saying. 22:33.120 --> 22:38.421 He would take one side and grotesquely exaggerate his support for it, therefore parodying the whole argument. 22:39.481 --> 22:42.483 And then finally, just a couple from finally from my little salvo. 22:42.903 --> 22:44.584 Steve Beale has the following techniques. 22:44.904 --> 22:49.707 I've been using a stage whisper based technique when I found myself in the middle of an arguing couple. 22:50.167 --> 22:51.928 Quote, I feel really awkward. 22:52.328 --> 22:54.810 Tommy and Tina are getting really stressed about Jonathan Cregan. 22:55.090 --> 22:55.990 And now there's an atmosphere. 22:56.030 --> 22:56.771 I don't know what to do. 22:57.131 --> 22:59.172 He would whisper that to whoever's sitting beside him. 22:59.392 --> 22:59.612 Right. 22:59.852 --> 23:01.353 But loud enough for everyone to loud enough. 23:01.393 --> 23:01.593 Yeah. 23:01.613 --> 23:04.375 Sort of grow to a sort of Homer Simpson style exaggerated whisper. 23:04.495 --> 23:04.595 Yeah. 23:04.835 --> 23:09.837 And he also says that a friend of mine uses a sort of director's commentary stroke narration style approach. 23:09.857 --> 23:10.357 That's a good idea. 23:10.377 --> 23:13.539 Where he describes what's going on as if it's a scene on a TV show. 23:13.679 --> 23:14.579 That's a really good idea. 23:14.779 --> 23:19.121 So yeah, what's going on here is Tina's mentioned that Jonathan Creek is a good show to watch. 23:19.601 --> 23:21.242 Tommy's reacted quite badly to that. 23:21.702 --> 23:23.123 Now he's got his head in his hands. 23:23.283 --> 23:24.283 Quite a bit of tension in the room. 23:24.523 --> 23:25.424 Let's see what happens next. 23:25.644 --> 23:26.124 That kind of thing. 23:26.144 --> 23:27.144 That's a brilliant idea. 23:27.945 --> 23:29.285 Here's a more anecdotal one. 23:29.565 --> 23:31.586 This is from Mona, aged 26. 23:31.626 --> 23:32.266 She's a girl, Joe. 23:33.607 --> 23:34.148 Yeah. 23:34.688 --> 23:35.509 Hello, Adam and Joe. 23:35.609 --> 23:36.870 Forgive me my bad English. 23:36.970 --> 23:38.111 I'm not a native speaker. 23:38.611 --> 23:41.834 Couple years ago, I was in a shopping center with my mother. 23:42.214 --> 23:43.936 We were arguing about something small. 23:44.136 --> 23:46.558 It was more misunderstanding rather than arguing. 23:47.159 --> 23:53.224 We were sitting in front of a shop talking very lively when a stranger approached us and said, Could you please keep this at home? 23:53.464 --> 23:54.885 You're spoiling my afternoon!" 23:55.145 --> 23:55.745 and went away. 23:56.085 --> 23:57.165 I was shocked and embarrassed. 23:57.425 --> 24:00.647 I stood there with my mother for about 20 minutes trying to understand what just happened. 24:01.007 --> 24:04.068 I think my mum was analysing that too because she also went silent. 24:04.428 --> 24:06.389 After that time, I became angry with that guy. 24:06.689 --> 24:07.649 What does he know anyway? 24:07.829 --> 24:09.050 And who is he to give me advice? 24:09.230 --> 24:09.950 How dare he! 24:10.570 --> 24:17.277 Later I discovered that he was shopping with his wife and two children, so maybe he was tired and tried to pass his frustration to someone else. 24:17.637 --> 24:22.942 Well it worked, because since then I never argue with anyone in public, especially with my mother. 24:23.442 --> 24:29.928 If we have misunderstanding, I just wait until we go back home and then explain my different point of view, just like the guy suggested. 24:29.948 --> 24:30.169 Oh wow! 24:30.629 --> 24:31.470 That's nice, isn't it? 24:31.510 --> 24:32.090 That's nice. 24:32.110 --> 24:33.531 She's learnt a lesson from the guy. 24:33.811 --> 24:35.832 Excuse me, you're ruining my afternoon. 24:35.932 --> 24:37.133 Could you keep this at home? 24:37.533 --> 24:39.874 I mean, you have to pick who you do that with, really. 24:40.355 --> 24:45.978 You know, on a Saturday night in, uh, Norwich Town Central, I might not try that out if I see a little ruck. 24:46.318 --> 24:47.179 I've got a lot of these. 24:47.359 --> 24:49.200 I could I could do another 10 to 15 minutes. 24:49.440 --> 24:51.021 Well, we could come back and do a few more. 24:51.082 --> 24:51.402 Why not? 24:52.022 --> 24:53.783 Let's do some more after your free play. 24:54.184 --> 24:59.147 Okay, here's a bit of sunny, funtime music that will bring people in Edinburgh down even further. 24:59.507 --> 25:01.569 This is from the Midnight Cowboy soundtrack. 25:01.589 --> 25:02.590 This is by John Barry. 25:02.890 --> 25:04.891 And it's not the main Midnight Cowboy. 25:04.911 --> 25:05.972 This is the harmonical one. 25:06.192 --> 25:07.653 This is the lovely harmonical one. 25:07.733 --> 25:14.578 Oh, incidentally, on the Scotland tip, it was Dan Castanaleta, who did the voice of groundskeeper Willie. 25:14.718 --> 25:15.639 Not Hank Azaria. 25:15.999 --> 25:16.460 Okay? 25:17.001 --> 25:17.401 Okay. 25:17.762 --> 25:18.884 Here's a wee bit of music. 25:20.472 --> 25:22.533 That's John Barry with the theme to Midnight Cowboy. 25:22.573 --> 25:24.615 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music. 25:24.655 --> 25:33.581 And we had such a great response to retro text the nation or to text the nation last week that we are doubling the quota of retro text the nation time. 25:34.001 --> 25:43.948 And incidentally, if there's anything throughout the week, if you're listening to this programme on Listen Again or if it's part of the podcast or whatever, you can always get in touch throughout the week about anything we talk about. 25:44.288 --> 25:48.991 The address is adamandjoe.sixmusic at bbc.co.uk. 25:50.592 --> 26:16.684 during the week it would be a total waste of your money these are techniques for defusing accidents you find uh accidents arguments you find yourself in the middle of here is a letter from ryan in oxford he says dear adam and joe i was in the kitchen with my housemate and her boyfriend i just made a delicious spaghetti bolognese and was settling down to eat it when all of a sudden a dispute erupted between the couple an icy tension quickly smothered the room and the usually playful couple refused to talk to one another 26:17.384 --> 26:28.643 Alarmed, I put down my knife and fork and declared, I, expletive deleted, love spag bol, immediately plunging my face into the Italian feast in front of me. 26:29.933 --> 26:32.156 The couple turned and saw me and immediately began laughing. 26:32.196 --> 26:33.878 The conflict had been resolved but at a price. 26:33.918 --> 26:39.725 I burnt my face with angry spag bol and I smelt like Dolmio for several days afterwards. 26:39.906 --> 26:40.747 That's extreme. 26:40.947 --> 26:46.894 Any listener wishing to use this method of argument avoidance may wish to use foods that haven't been cooked like gato or watercress. 26:47.515 --> 26:48.516 What a lunatic. 26:48.736 --> 26:49.356 But powerful. 26:49.616 --> 26:50.257 I mean, powerful. 26:50.297 --> 26:50.977 That's extreme. 26:51.238 --> 26:56.341 It is extreme, but it sort of shifts the emphasis onto his possible mental issues. 26:57.822 --> 26:59.523 It could make the whole situation worse. 27:00.003 --> 27:01.705 It could just inflame the argument. 27:02.245 --> 27:03.966 And then he's got ball all over his face. 27:03.986 --> 27:04.987 There's food everywhere. 27:05.067 --> 27:07.428 So basically you've gone round for supper. 27:07.809 --> 27:09.190 The couple have had a horrible argument. 27:09.510 --> 27:13.392 The guys, one of the guys has flipped out and stuck his face in the spag bol. 27:13.693 --> 27:16.094 He's clearly mentally unbalanced. 27:16.314 --> 27:17.195 It's grotesque. 27:18.015 --> 27:19.176 But he made the spag bol. 27:19.516 --> 27:19.756 Right. 27:19.976 --> 27:21.437 So in a way it's symbolic. 27:21.677 --> 27:26.920 It's him ruining his own spag bol because in a way they've ruined his special cooking evening. 27:27.080 --> 27:27.501 Yeah, yeah. 27:28.021 --> 27:28.201 Isn't it? 27:28.421 --> 27:29.942 That's a Pyrrhic victory I would say. 27:30.022 --> 27:32.103 Have you got another one? 27:32.123 --> 27:32.824 Yes. 27:34.304 --> 27:35.765 Here is one from Kevin Male. 27:37.166 --> 27:37.546 He's male. 27:38.267 --> 27:39.567 Is his name Kevin Male? 27:39.968 --> 27:41.388 Oh no, he's just a male man. 27:42.429 --> 27:47.335 Dear Adam and Joe, a couple of years ago, my two friends, let's call them the dude and Donnie. 27:48.256 --> 27:49.137 Do we have to? 27:49.157 --> 27:49.897 Yeah, we have to. 27:50.298 --> 27:52.240 And I. We're in the Edinburgh festival. 27:52.601 --> 27:53.842 Edinburgh for the festival! 27:54.062 --> 27:54.763 That's how they speak. 27:55.143 --> 27:58.127 We were staying with another friend, let's call him Walter. 27:58.547 --> 28:00.369 who was in a sketch show at the festival. 28:00.409 --> 28:04.832 Due to space limitations, we had to sleep on the floor of the room in which he and his girlfriend were staying. 28:05.273 --> 28:13.220 On the first night, myself and Donnie were trying to sleep on the rock hard wooden floor when we overheard Walter's girlfriend asking whether he still loved her. 28:14.000 --> 28:18.362 Myself and Donnie pretended to be asleep while the couple went about breaking up in bed. 28:18.742 --> 28:21.064 It was the most awkward situation I'd ever been in. 28:21.464 --> 28:27.126 All of a sudden, the door bursts open, and the dude staggers into the room dead drunk and collapses on the floor. 28:27.667 --> 28:32.369 Almost immediately, the loudest and most disturbing snoring started to emanate from the dude. 28:32.749 --> 28:36.171 Despite this, the couple continued to have a whispered breakup argument. 28:36.551 --> 28:44.601 It was all getting a bit too much so I slid over to the dude and pinched his nose, a technique that I'd used to great effect while growing up to quell my own father's nocturnal cacophony. 28:45.101 --> 28:47.084 For one second the dude stopped snoring. 28:47.344 --> 28:52.450 Then suddenly he sat bolt upright and emitted three of the loudest high pitched screams in a row that I'd ever heard. 28:52.710 --> 28:54.012 He says please simulate screaming. 28:57.619 --> 28:58.800 That's about as high pitched as you can go. 28:58.820 --> 28:59.961 Go on, you do one. 29:00.121 --> 29:01.282 I can't, I don't, I can't. 29:02.724 --> 29:04.025 That's about as high pitched as I can go. 29:04.745 --> 29:07.168 After a second of silence, the entire room burst out laughing. 29:07.348 --> 29:09.990 The couple stopped arguing, and eventually we were able to get some sleep. 29:10.170 --> 29:10.471 P.S. 29:10.651 --> 29:14.074 They did break up several days later, but fortunately we found somewhere to stay by then. 29:14.654 --> 29:15.455 No, somewhere else to stay. 29:15.475 --> 29:15.835 Incredible. 29:16.716 --> 29:17.436 Thanks very much, Kevin. 29:17.916 --> 29:20.277 Here's a final one for retrotextination. 29:20.297 --> 29:23.678 This is from Will Judkins. 29:23.758 --> 29:28.260 And Will has a special technique he has for diffusing tension generally. 29:28.740 --> 29:34.322 And over the course of this letter, you'll realize that he doesn't just use this for diffusing arguments, but he uses it in life in general. 29:35.322 --> 29:35.882 This is what he says. 29:36.002 --> 29:44.405 Usually, if my mum and dad were having little arguments about tidying the house or who'd left what newspaper where, I would walk in and just have my bum out for them both to see. 29:45.299 --> 29:49.264 It would usually be greeted by aggression towards me for constantly doing it all after. 29:50.565 --> 29:51.406 So that's his technique. 29:52.007 --> 29:58.675 He goes on to say, unfortunately, I now use these tactics, plural, as if there's more than one tactic in just getting your bum out. 29:58.695 --> 29:59.656 Well, there's two cheeks, aren't there? 29:59.676 --> 30:00.116 That's true. 30:00.557 --> 30:02.899 Unfortunately, I now use these tactics. 30:04.681 --> 30:18.263 For when my mum is on Skype from Tanzania where she's doing volunteer work for voluntary services overseas and I just walk in the room with my bum out wasting my mum's internet and precious little money and my dad's time. 30:19.204 --> 30:19.504 P.S. 30:19.524 --> 30:23.324 it's also quite good for arguments with my girlfriend especially whilst she's talking to me. 30:23.604 --> 30:24.765 Put your tactics away. 30:25.805 --> 30:31.466 So he just basically walks around with his bum out all the time and creates an atmosphere of fun. 30:32.962 --> 30:35.144 wherever he goes. 30:36.385 --> 30:37.566 What's his name? 30:38.046 --> 30:38.246 Will. 30:38.907 --> 30:40.388 Hey, Will's got his bum out again. 30:40.448 --> 30:41.849 It's going to be a good day. 30:42.049 --> 30:45.151 Hey, here are the half hearted cheer. 30:45.191 --> 30:45.371 Yeah. 30:45.512 --> 30:47.173 Thanks very much for all those incidentally. 30:47.493 --> 30:52.757 And we'll have more retro text the name is male next week and he's 18 and an illustrator. 30:53.497 --> 30:53.858 Good job. 30:53.898 --> 30:54.838 Well, he does bum prints. 30:55.099 --> 30:55.639 Very nice. 30:56.460 --> 30:58.121 Uh, here's two door cinema club. 30:58.141 --> 30:59.502 This is something good can work. 31:02.441 --> 31:05.044 That's the one dies with the you and me song. 31:05.264 --> 31:05.985 Nice to hear that again. 31:06.025 --> 31:07.086 That's a summary sound. 31:07.467 --> 31:08.748 That's a classic summary sound. 31:08.788 --> 31:11.031 The sediment Joe here on BBC six music. 31:11.551 --> 31:17.297 Now I had a fun trip on the train the other day and in fact I talk about the train so much. 31:18.831 --> 31:39.202 when we when you talk about the train we get a lot of correspondence because quite a few people who listen to the podcast of this program listen to it during their commute on their way into or back from work and they often send us in stories of things they've witnessed upon upon the train can you just close the door it makes me nervous on the train floor i don't like it when the doors are open you know what i'm saying 31:39.862 --> 31:43.644 My wife always leaves the door open of the sitting room when we're watching TV. 31:44.344 --> 31:48.686 The doors are open and the servited grooms do mock their sleep with something. 31:48.886 --> 31:49.186 Tutties? 31:49.206 --> 31:50.067 A bit of Shakespeare. 31:50.327 --> 31:50.487 Mmm. 31:50.667 --> 31:51.447 With voibles. 31:51.908 --> 31:52.388 Voibles? 31:52.508 --> 31:52.828 Yes. 31:52.848 --> 31:53.148 No. 31:53.688 --> 31:54.709 Thanks very much for closing the door. 31:54.729 --> 31:55.009 That's alright. 31:55.229 --> 32:18.617 um so yes we talk about train like incidents with sleep thank you very much william shakespeare um we talk about it so much on the show that i thought maybe we should have a jingle for travel tales not only my own but those sent in by listeners as well so here's the jingle traveling tales traveling tales tales of traveling on the train or an automobile or an airplane i want to know what's your traveling tales 32:20.996 --> 32:21.256 Wow. 32:21.697 --> 32:21.897 Wow. 32:22.097 --> 32:23.258 Oh my god. 32:23.278 --> 32:24.719 That's like being shot in the face. 32:25.860 --> 32:27.962 How did you get the Wilburys back together for that? 32:27.982 --> 32:29.063 Shot in the face with fun. 32:29.323 --> 32:29.583 Yeah. 32:31.385 --> 32:34.167 It's amazing to have reformed the traveling Wilburys. 32:34.608 --> 32:35.148 Wilburys. 32:35.508 --> 32:36.149 Well, it was hard. 32:36.189 --> 32:37.730 Dylan was way up for it. 32:37.790 --> 32:38.631 Yeah. 32:38.711 --> 32:40.953 And to do something so short as well. 32:41.213 --> 32:41.854 Yes, exactly. 32:41.894 --> 32:42.534 They didn't mind. 32:42.975 --> 32:44.436 Tom Petty was happy to do it. 32:44.476 --> 32:45.076 Yeah. 32:45.096 --> 32:46.357 The only one that was... How exciting. 32:46.457 --> 32:47.759 There was a couple that were a bit tricky. 32:48.759 --> 32:49.840 Orson particularly. 32:49.860 --> 32:50.041 Orson. 32:50.581 --> 32:51.782 Tricky was up for it, he was fine. 32:52.263 --> 33:03.893 Anyway, so Traveling Tales, I was on the... So this is a new segment, sorry to interrupt, this is exciting, this is a new segment and it means you can send in your stories of trouble and strife on public transport or during your commute to 64046. 33:04.033 --> 33:07.036 Or joy, you know, maybe you had an amazing time. 33:07.116 --> 33:09.618 Or adamandjoe.sixmusicatpbc.co.uk. 33:09.998 --> 33:13.602 Especially if you were listening to the podcast while it happened, because then there's extra synergy. 33:13.962 --> 33:14.523 Exactly. 33:15.463 --> 33:35.082 So on Thursday evening, I got on the train to come to London from Norwich and I think there was a football foot sport goal-kick match going on God between Norwich and Ipswich I think and There was a lot of fans on the platform and Norwich is where you live. 33:35.102 --> 33:35.142 Oh 33:35.442 --> 33:36.222 No, it's just where I live. 33:37.003 --> 33:48.106 And I think, I don't know what had happened in the foot sport, but I think the yellows were happy and they were all jumping around and this is what they sounded like on the platform right next to me while I was waiting for the train. 33:59.847 --> 34:05.671 That was just like, um, there's only about six guys making that noise. 34:05.871 --> 34:06.852 What a song. 34:07.332 --> 34:08.153 What an amazing song. 34:08.173 --> 34:08.433 Lovely. 34:08.473 --> 34:09.234 What fun for them. 34:09.314 --> 34:12.416 And so great to hear it done that way right next to you. 34:12.556 --> 34:15.318 They did another song as well. 34:15.338 --> 34:16.679 Do you want to hear the other song they've done? 34:16.699 --> 34:20.441 Oh, please. 34:20.822 --> 34:21.322 Ah, classic. 34:27.287 --> 34:29.248 Yeah, that's my favorite version of that song. 34:29.569 --> 34:31.150 They should record an album those guys. 34:31.310 --> 34:44.460 You know, unfortunately they don't take requests because they're so busy with the packets of crisps that they're kicking to each other and bursting open onto the platform that they don't have time for the requests, which is a shame. 34:45.380 --> 34:46.101 So that was fun. 34:46.141 --> 34:46.721 That was nice. 34:47.562 --> 34:49.563 Putting me in a good mood to get on the train. 34:49.583 --> 34:50.084 It's lovely. 34:50.604 --> 34:57.507 So then I get on the train and obviously because of the foot sport going on the whole, I mean the whole train was just trashed that had got in. 34:57.527 --> 35:02.948 It got in really late so they didn't have time to go through and clean it because it had to immediately set off for London. 35:03.689 --> 35:06.670 And the whole train was just a complete disaster area. 35:06.970 --> 35:13.812 It was strewn with cans and you know free newspapers and crisp packets and everything and little plastic glasses. 35:13.832 --> 35:14.673 Football detritus. 35:14.733 --> 35:15.633 Football detritus. 35:16.413 --> 35:18.554 And it was really a disgrace I thought. 35:19.114 --> 35:19.475 To whom? 35:19.675 --> 35:21.577 To Dr. Addy Buckles. 35:21.717 --> 35:21.937 Yes. 35:22.498 --> 35:28.704 And I just felt personally affronted by this, as I think did everybody else who had paid good money to travel on that train, you know what I mean? 35:28.764 --> 35:32.067 They sometimes put on separate trains for football supporters, don't they? 35:32.087 --> 35:33.268 They try to when they can. 35:34.229 --> 35:35.450 Well, it obviously didn't happen this time. 35:35.470 --> 35:36.391 It didn't happen this time. 35:36.992 --> 35:38.993 So, I was walking through and I thought, 35:39.654 --> 35:40.334 You know what? 35:40.615 --> 35:44.177 To Hekington with this, I am not going to jolly take it. 35:44.717 --> 35:53.882 And so I strode through the standard class carriage, which I had bought a ticket for, straight to the first upper class carriage. 35:54.322 --> 35:59.185 And I thought, I am jolly Hekington going to sit down in the first upper class carriage with my standard ticket. 35:59.685 --> 36:03.406 Because I won't tolerate the dirtiness of the rest of the Tron. 36:03.947 --> 36:08.308 And if anyone has a problem with that, I shall explain myself thusly. 36:09.089 --> 36:11.389 And I thought, well, I better back up my position. 36:11.650 --> 36:13.250 So what I did was I found a bin bag. 36:13.470 --> 36:15.011 First class, incidentally, was totally empty. 36:15.411 --> 36:15.971 I found a bin bag. 36:15.991 --> 36:16.832 And wore it as a dress. 36:16.932 --> 36:17.812 And I wore it as a dress. 36:18.292 --> 36:19.633 in order to command respect. 36:19.673 --> 36:23.234 I got completely nude and wore that bin bag as a dress. 36:23.354 --> 36:26.016 No, what I did was I cleaned up the first-class carriage. 36:26.036 --> 36:26.596 No way! 36:26.616 --> 36:28.217 Which was also strewn with litter. 36:28.237 --> 36:28.477 Really? 36:28.497 --> 36:28.697 Yeah. 36:29.097 --> 36:37.181 So I cleaned it right up, stuffed it, it didn't take that long, and it was all spic and span, and then I sat right in the middle and had a nice time. 36:37.221 --> 36:45.644 And I thought, if anyone challenges me after I've cleaned up the carriage and the rest of the train is trashed, then I'm gonna flip my lid spectacularly. 36:45.664 --> 36:46.985 And did they, did the ticket man come? 36:47.245 --> 36:48.285 No, the ticket man didn't come. 36:48.345 --> 36:53.887 But what did happen was the cops turned up, like there was loads of transport police. 36:54.307 --> 36:57.648 So eventually I ended up... Are the football supporters still on the train? 36:57.748 --> 36:58.748 Yeah, they're all on the train. 36:58.788 --> 36:58.988 Right. 36:59.008 --> 37:00.888 So none of them are in premier class? 37:01.128 --> 37:07.490 No, there were other bigger, lardier, richer football fans that turned up and started discussing the match loudly. 37:08.010 --> 37:23.668 but the carriage that i was in filled up with transport police so i felt like quite a wicked outlaw with my standard class ticket surrounded by the fuzz and the man and they didn't do a thing they didn't challenge outlaw dr evil 37:26.963 --> 37:27.763 You're morally ambiguous. 37:28.103 --> 37:30.904 On the one hand, you're a hero for cleaning the cabin out. 37:30.984 --> 37:32.764 On the other hand, you are a liar and a thief. 37:33.184 --> 37:34.405 Well, no, I'm just a hero. 37:35.225 --> 37:35.505 Are you? 37:35.585 --> 37:35.825 Yes. 37:36.045 --> 37:36.765 You're a modern-day hero. 37:36.805 --> 37:37.685 I'm the people's hero. 37:38.185 --> 37:38.325 Right. 37:38.345 --> 37:42.506 Because I cleaned up that carriage and I'm surrounded by cops and I'm an outlaw. 37:42.666 --> 37:44.387 You know, I'm with you on cleaning up. 37:44.447 --> 37:45.627 I'm with you on just taking action. 37:45.707 --> 37:46.887 I do that in my street a lot. 37:46.927 --> 37:47.127 Yeah. 37:47.727 --> 37:51.488 I'll just go out there with some rubber gloves on and a bin bag and I'll clean up the street. 37:51.548 --> 37:51.968 Good for you. 37:52.028 --> 37:52.728 I have no shame. 37:52.768 --> 37:52.928 Yeah. 37:53.008 --> 37:54.269 I do that in the hedgerows as well. 37:54.289 --> 37:54.489 Yeah. 37:54.609 --> 37:55.449 You've got to do it. 37:55.589 --> 37:56.070 You gotta do it. 37:56.090 --> 37:57.692 You can't just sit there waiting for someone else to do it. 37:57.712 --> 37:59.314 It's all our responsibility, right? 37:59.494 --> 38:01.136 Come on kids, pick up some rubbish today. 38:01.336 --> 38:02.197 Make it into a game! 38:02.378 --> 38:03.219 Can I hear that song again? 38:04.025 --> 38:04.865 Yeah, here it is. 38:06.286 --> 38:07.326 Which one do you want? 38:07.366 --> 38:08.467 Do you want? 38:08.487 --> 38:09.187 Do you want? 38:09.207 --> 38:11.688 Do you want? 38:11.748 --> 38:12.108 I love that. 38:12.348 --> 38:13.048 Number one, James. 38:13.929 --> 38:14.289 Here it is. 38:15.169 --> 38:16.450 I can't wait to hear it again. 38:16.770 --> 38:17.150 It's gone. 38:17.190 --> 38:17.630 No, nevermind. 38:17.650 --> 38:18.270 We'll play it later. 38:18.290 --> 38:21.091 Listen, it's, it's, it's almost like a, you know what we could do? 38:21.812 --> 38:23.572 You could build that into song wars. 38:24.013 --> 38:24.313 Yeah. 38:24.653 --> 38:26.133 You could build that into a song wars song. 38:26.173 --> 38:29.115 Speaking of song wars, we should talk about song wars later on in the program. 38:29.155 --> 38:30.315 Cause we've got to do something about it. 38:30.455 --> 38:32.461 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music. 38:32.481 --> 38:33.444 Happy Saturday morning. 38:33.484 --> 38:35.451 Here's a bit of music from... What are these people called? 38:35.471 --> 38:36.454 It's Madam on the workshop. 38:36.474 --> 38:37.718 This is called Snakes in the Grass. 38:38.951 --> 38:40.753 Sparrow in the workshop with snakes in the grass. 38:40.773 --> 38:42.715 This is Adam and Jo on BBC6 music. 38:42.835 --> 38:48.020 If you've got public transport stories, they don't have to be about football hooligans, fooligans. 38:48.520 --> 38:51.223 They can be about any sort of thing you've experienced on the train. 38:51.363 --> 38:52.003 Good or bad. 38:52.204 --> 38:52.724 Good or bad. 38:52.804 --> 38:58.109 Maybe later in the show we'll rerun that jingle and we'll read out some of our listeners train stories just to get the ball rolling. 38:58.630 --> 38:59.090 Absolutely. 38:59.210 --> 39:02.694 Have you got the train alarm sound there? 39:03.194 --> 39:10.895 You know, one of the things that happened that did put a kink in my journey was someone pulled the flipping alarm. 39:11.695 --> 39:17.617 And I don't know if the alarm sound is the same for all trains or if it's just National Express or whatever. 39:17.637 --> 39:19.817 Did they do it because something had happened or just for fun? 39:19.997 --> 39:21.997 I would imagine it was some foot sport fun. 39:22.237 --> 39:22.397 Right. 39:22.417 --> 39:23.558 Because I don't think anything had happened. 39:23.578 --> 39:25.858 The cops were all sat around just chuckling. 39:26.498 --> 39:28.058 So, and this was the sound that goes off. 39:28.078 --> 39:31.879 It is the most infuriating sound ever created by a human man. 39:37.742 --> 39:40.526 But it's the gap between the next... You think, oh, it's stopped now. 39:40.546 --> 39:41.307 Someone's stopped it. 39:41.507 --> 39:42.849 Oh, thank goodness, I can relax now. 39:44.752 --> 39:45.253 That's better. 39:46.394 --> 39:47.496 Okay, nice and relaxed. 39:50.063 --> 40:18.108 it's like a giant toddler with a xylophone being very insistent yeah that's right it's quite a gentle sound it's horrible though i mean it's really loud and it cuts through absolutely everything i've got to say sirens in general have got more offensive haven't they i was watching an old uh yeah see deal with that thanks james i was watching an old uh something or other i can't remember what it was but it had the sound of an old police car and how lovely the siren sound used to be sort of honky and horny yes it's like the horny horns 40:19.161 --> 40:29.530 And now they're just like some insane, panicking, evil robot overlords. 40:30.531 --> 40:31.772 Those are American, aren't they? 40:31.812 --> 40:32.332 Freaks me out. 40:32.352 --> 40:35.875 Well, they used to be only American, but they've come over to Brighton now. 40:35.895 --> 40:36.676 And what's the logic? 40:36.896 --> 40:39.999 Is it to make it an irregular sound so that you can't ignore it? 40:40.539 --> 40:41.660 Maybe just the general... 40:45.339 --> 41:02.172 I think so yeah so you can't it can't become regular and you know you can't get settled into it right but maybe this could lead into our text the nation topic this week hmm would we be technically capable of doing that James let's well now let's talk about that let's do that next okay let's launch text the nation next 41:03.133 --> 41:04.714 Here's a free play for you right now. 41:05.094 --> 41:09.417 And this is actually, I would say, similar in spirit to your John Barry selection earlier on. 41:09.937 --> 41:11.619 But this is from Moondog. 41:11.659 --> 41:13.180 It's also a short instrumental piece. 41:13.200 --> 41:13.760 Who are Moondog? 41:14.040 --> 41:14.921 Moondog is a guy. 41:15.321 --> 41:19.524 It was the pseudonym of a chap called Louis or Louis Thomas Hardin. 41:19.825 --> 41:25.209 He was a blind American composer, musician, poet, inventor of several musical instruments. 41:26.009 --> 41:26.990 He invented foibles. 41:27.770 --> 41:28.050 Did he? 41:28.390 --> 41:40.475 He died aged 83 in 1999 but he was someone that removed himself from society and decided to be like a street person to make his home in the streets of New York and he would wander around. 41:40.715 --> 41:41.495 Decision you've made. 41:41.736 --> 41:42.336 Yes exactly. 41:42.356 --> 41:42.736 Recently. 41:42.916 --> 41:45.117 And he dressed as the Norse god Thor. 41:45.637 --> 41:46.557 Right it's very topical. 41:46.978 --> 41:50.279 Right like the exciting film that I will never ever see in my life. 41:50.559 --> 41:51.259 Is it supposed to be any good? 41:51.519 --> 41:53.000 It's supposed to be pretty good yeah I'm gonna see it. 41:53.200 --> 41:59.550 I'm never gonna see that film in my life because yes you will cuz your kids will want to see it really yeah yeah but I'll go out the room 42:00.536 --> 42:05.698 Um, anyway, he was known as the Viking of Sixth Avenue, Moondog, because of his unconventional outfits. 42:05.958 --> 42:11.520 But in between all this, he still found time to go into the studio and record some extraordinary music. 42:11.640 --> 42:12.980 Extraordinary avant-garde music. 42:13.180 --> 42:14.081 I'm very excited about hearing it. 42:14.401 --> 42:16.882 Oh, well, this is an extraordinary avant-garde, but it's not that avant-garde. 42:17.122 --> 42:23.244 But it really, I'm sure this has been used in a film, and I'm sure our listeners could tell me, because I searched for it and I couldn't find it. 42:23.324 --> 42:24.204 I know what it is. 42:24.304 --> 42:26.185 I haven't heard it, but I know what it is. 42:26.285 --> 42:26.965 What is it, Joe? 42:27.125 --> 42:28.666 I'm glad to me and I shall tell you what it is. 42:28.726 --> 42:29.547 Okay, here it is. 42:29.587 --> 42:31.248 This is Theme by Moondog. 42:33.389 --> 42:33.969 Ah, there we go. 42:34.049 --> 42:36.351 Someone has said it's in the Big Lebowski. 42:36.931 --> 42:38.192 Yeah, that's, that's always the answer. 42:38.232 --> 42:39.473 It always turns up on there. 42:40.013 --> 42:44.135 If you, if you don't want to know, if you want to know where, oh, I'm just going to abandon that sentence. 42:44.215 --> 42:44.876 But that's interesting. 42:44.956 --> 42:45.936 Used in the Big Lebowski. 42:45.996 --> 42:47.738 I was doing a little bit of internet surfing. 42:48.138 --> 42:48.718 Yeah, were you mate? 42:48.798 --> 42:51.340 And I was, I was internet surfing for your info there. 42:51.940 --> 42:54.982 And apparently Jeff Bridges was rumoured to play this bloke in a movie. 42:55.382 --> 42:56.904 Oh, really, that's right. 42:56.924 --> 43:00.128 There's a very short clip on YouTube of him standing there in all his Viking glory. 43:13.946 --> 43:15.407 Yeah, it's all the avant-garde jazzers. 43:15.567 --> 43:17.727 It's a whole new world of stuff opening up. 43:18.168 --> 43:18.868 Ah, that was Moondog. 43:19.228 --> 43:23.089 And it was called Theme from 1956, I think. 43:23.129 --> 43:24.810 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC. 43:25.350 --> 43:26.010 Six music. 43:26.231 --> 43:27.911 I think we're gonna launch Text the Nation! 43:28.071 --> 43:29.272 And there's nothing you can do about it! 43:30.392 --> 43:31.132 Text the Nation! 43:31.252 --> 43:31.512 Text! 43:31.632 --> 43:31.893 Text! 43:31.953 --> 43:32.273 Text! 43:32.433 --> 43:33.193 Text the Nation! 43:33.233 --> 43:34.193 What if I don't want to? 43:34.454 --> 43:35.154 Text the Nation! 43:35.274 --> 43:36.254 But I'm using email. 43:36.434 --> 43:37.174 Is that a problem? 43:37.194 --> 43:37.735 It doesn't matter! 43:37.775 --> 43:37.995 Text! 43:40.327 --> 43:44.912 So Text the Nation this week, listeners, is all about technology that's made the world worse. 43:45.433 --> 43:50.418 So exciting innovations in your daily life that have actually started to ruin things. 43:50.478 --> 43:52.120 Like I was trying to call the council. 43:52.961 --> 43:55.484 There's a new, they've got a new time to collect our bins. 43:55.504 --> 43:57.946 So I was trying to call the council because they'd failed to collect them. 43:58.807 --> 44:07.291 And my local council has installed a sort of robotic operator system that asks you to say the name of the department you want to go through to. 44:08.311 --> 44:11.973 And there's something weird about that, something quite demeaning about talking to a robot. 44:12.613 --> 44:13.113 Don't you find? 44:13.133 --> 44:15.194 Have you got a, I'm talking to a robot voice? 44:15.374 --> 44:16.115 Well, it's angry. 44:16.535 --> 44:20.637 I just go, street care, environment, environment. 44:20.697 --> 44:22.417 And I like it if they don't hear it. 44:22.537 --> 44:24.718 I'm sorry, we could not hear what you were saying. 44:25.278 --> 44:25.799 Environment. 44:26.579 --> 44:47.318 I like to try and test it but of course then it doesn't respond so you have to sort of comply and that's the issue isn't it you have to reply in a sort of robot voice so not only has the call center been dehumanized but it's dehumanizing you and it's that thing it makes you so furious that yes you start to lose control of your voice this is an extreme situation I'm talking about and it's like the robot is saying 44:47.978 --> 44:48.819 Just calm down. 44:49.199 --> 44:51.260 Just calm down and say it normally please. 44:51.461 --> 44:53.062 Otherwise I can't understand you. 44:53.762 --> 45:00.467 In a way councils have some kind of a minute excuse for doing that because they've got to spend all their money on services. 45:00.587 --> 45:01.107 Call a volume. 45:01.468 --> 45:06.951 Yeah, so if they can cut the staffing levels then they might have more money to spend on essential care. 45:07.332 --> 45:12.455 But in supermarkets, in giant supermarkets, what's the logic in having automated checkouts? 45:12.936 --> 45:14.817 Doesn't that simply just put people out of work? 45:15.740 --> 45:18.722 And then is there anything better about going to an automated checkout? 45:19.623 --> 45:25.648 I mean I've been in situations before where I only had one or two items. 45:26.108 --> 45:26.969 And you can get through quicker? 45:27.009 --> 45:27.129 Yeah. 45:28.766 --> 45:57.427 yeah but I've only just mastered it I mean this is how long have they been around for four or five years or something unexpected item in the packing area please remove because the worst thing is when you do have more than one or two items you've got a basket's worth because we're only talking about baskets you can't go through there with your trolley right no so you've got a whole basket's worth and then you've got a whole bunch of problem items like wine maybe a bit of wine bit of peach snaps something like that and you have to get approval from the guy with his key 45:58.087 --> 45:59.029 And he has to come around. 45:59.229 --> 46:02.533 Maybe you've got a wonderful DVD of something with Russell Brand in it. 46:02.753 --> 46:03.034 Of course. 46:03.054 --> 46:04.175 And you can't wait to watch that thing. 46:04.195 --> 46:04.696 Can't wait. 46:04.756 --> 46:08.420 They have to come around and get all the security gubbins off it. 46:09.061 --> 46:12.906 And then the other thing that happens is you want to use your own bag, right? 46:13.186 --> 46:33.873 I don't want to kill any more dolphins sorry that's just me you know I like them so I don't really want to kill anymore so I'm gonna use my own bag if that's alright but no that's a whole big palaver because you put your bag on the thing and then unexpected item in the bagging area so then you have to remove or I'm just gonna put the item just there without a bag please place the item in the back oh fuck 46:34.393 --> 46:35.354 They don't make anything better. 46:35.394 --> 46:36.074 That's all I'm asking. 46:36.394 --> 46:39.656 What single thing do they improve, apart from just putting people out of work? 46:39.917 --> 46:41.397 And the other thing is smartphones. 46:41.918 --> 46:42.898 That's a very obvious thing. 46:43.479 --> 46:45.980 And, like, I had a... What's your beef there? 46:46.400 --> 46:50.783 My beef there is, for instance, I had an event, like, we screened my film in Texas. 46:50.803 --> 46:51.443 We were very excited. 46:51.483 --> 46:53.485 We went back to the hotel because it went down 46:54.065 --> 46:55.686 well, we all say, oh, let's go back to the hotel and have a drink. 46:56.346 --> 46:58.107 So we all go back to the hotel, we have a drink. 46:58.568 --> 47:04.871 We're all sitting around in reception with some little mini bottles of booze from someone's fridge in their room. 47:05.792 --> 47:06.752 And I'm thinking, oh, this is great. 47:06.772 --> 47:07.533 What a fantastic night. 47:07.593 --> 47:09.154 I look up everyone's on their smartphone. 47:09.894 --> 47:12.836 Every single person is looking at their lap and texting. 47:13.496 --> 47:14.577 What kind of a party is this? 47:14.717 --> 47:15.838 Did you not have your smartphone then? 47:16.139 --> 47:16.299 No. 47:16.639 --> 47:17.360 I wasn't using it. 47:17.760 --> 47:20.603 I wanted to have fun times with people's faces. 47:20.763 --> 47:22.125 But surely you had people to text. 47:22.385 --> 47:23.105 I just had a good screen. 47:23.125 --> 47:25.368 You should have tweeted about it, everything. 47:25.388 --> 47:26.028 It happens a lot. 47:26.148 --> 47:26.689 Of course it does. 47:26.709 --> 47:29.311 Don't you find that when you're trying to have a conversation with someone and you realise that? 47:30.072 --> 47:32.153 Smartphone it's ludicrous smartphones. 47:32.413 --> 47:37.115 The joy of a smartphone is to plug a gap when you're alone, right? 47:38.815 --> 47:41.776 Or in an awkward situation, you don't want to stand around looking like a lemon. 47:41.816 --> 47:44.677 If you're waiting for someone, it's great to have a smartphone. 47:44.898 --> 47:46.798 You can go on there and have some fun with your apps. 47:47.138 --> 47:49.299 You can check your mail, all that kind of thing. 47:49.339 --> 47:54.181 You can text somebody, but yeah, if there's other people around, you don't really need the smartphone. 47:54.301 --> 47:55.801 So that's the idea for Text the Nation. 47:56.682 --> 47:58.942 Advances in technology that are making the world worse. 47:58.982 --> 47:59.702 It's a moany one. 48:00.043 --> 48:02.983 It's not funny or fun, it's just moany. 48:03.023 --> 48:04.784 It's a little bit like Grumpy Old Men. 48:04.884 --> 48:06.504 It's a kind of Vanessa Felt style. 48:06.624 --> 48:11.606 Every now and again we get invited on shows like Grumpy Young Men or Grumpy Old Men. 48:13.266 --> 48:15.167 I haven't had an invitation for a while, maybe we'll get one now. 48:15.628 --> 48:20.852 But what my, one of my modern things is, yeah, the sales call. 48:20.952 --> 48:21.692 That's an obvious one. 48:22.053 --> 48:22.633 The phone goes. 48:22.713 --> 48:23.894 Oh, the automated sales call. 48:23.914 --> 48:24.775 Automated sales call. 48:25.115 --> 48:28.437 And you're thinking, yes, the phone's got, cause my phone doesn't go very often at all. 48:28.637 --> 48:31.700 Cause generally you get mobile phone calls these days or emails or whatever. 48:31.720 --> 48:32.781 What do they say when you pick it up? 48:33.041 --> 48:35.743 Well, there's the, there's the telltale gap when you, yeah. 48:35.823 --> 48:36.083 Hello. 48:36.603 --> 48:36.884 Hello. 48:37.984 --> 48:38.245 Hello. 48:39.105 --> 48:59.695 have you ever considered how interesting it would be by which time you go ah shut up and slammed it down there's always the gap text number is 64046 email is adamandjoe.6musicatpbc.co.uk that's text the nation for this week get your responses coming in please here's the avalanches with since i left you 49:00.615 --> 49:03.456 Yes, that was Vampire Weekend with Holiday. 49:03.516 --> 49:04.776 Hey, Adam and Joe here. 49:04.836 --> 49:07.236 Very, very happy to be with you this Saturday morning. 49:08.037 --> 49:09.537 And yeah, it still is the morning, isn't it? 49:09.597 --> 49:13.578 Haven't quite- Easter, Easter, Easter, Easter, very nearly Easter, Easter, Easter, Easter, Easter, tomorrow. 49:14.358 --> 49:15.358 And then a Monday off. 49:15.938 --> 49:16.579 Monday off. 49:16.619 --> 49:17.259 Melty eggs. 49:17.839 --> 49:20.259 Melty eggs and then royal weddings. 49:21.360 --> 49:22.140 Oh, the excitement. 49:22.480 --> 49:24.120 It's nonstop fun this summer, isn't it? 49:24.640 --> 49:25.821 Hey, should we have some made up jokes? 49:26.101 --> 49:26.601 Yes, sir. 49:26.621 --> 49:27.441 Here's the jingle. 49:28.241 --> 49:45.116 I'm a funny person, I often make up jokes My jokes are more amusing than those of other folks When you hear my joke, I think you'll find that you agree Come on, you're all invited to a made-up joke party 49:46.914 --> 49:52.240 Yes, now our producer James was bemoaning the quality of jokes that we'd had in during the week. 49:52.260 --> 49:54.302 Well that's because James has to filter them a little bit. 49:54.342 --> 49:55.904 He only lets us see the top quality ones. 49:56.004 --> 50:00.028 Yeah, so he's been wading through some stinky piles of joke poo. 50:00.754 --> 50:04.317 Now listen, I'm honing these rules, these joke rules, okay? 50:04.597 --> 50:07.639 Oh, good for you, because I didn't think you cared about this kind of thing. 50:07.699 --> 50:08.920 I thought I was a lone voice. 50:08.940 --> 50:09.701 No, I agree with you. 50:09.741 --> 50:15.065 Trying to put a little bit of, what would you call it, sort of filtering into the joke pipe. 50:16.006 --> 50:17.427 Here are Adam's rules. 50:18.755 --> 50:20.216 I like what's on the top of this page. 50:20.877 --> 50:22.438 My favourite murdering techniques. 50:22.718 --> 50:23.699 Time murdering. 50:23.839 --> 50:24.239 Oh sorry. 50:24.959 --> 50:25.220 Okay. 50:25.420 --> 50:26.040 Made up jokes. 50:27.161 --> 50:28.502 Made up jokes, made up rules. 50:28.602 --> 50:29.002 Number one. 50:29.342 --> 50:32.465 No mascapone slash masc-a-pony jokes. 50:33.165 --> 50:34.706 Now does that go to cheese in general? 50:34.766 --> 50:35.747 Is mascapone a cheese? 50:35.787 --> 50:37.308 Cheese is also on there. 50:37.348 --> 50:37.768 Number two. 50:38.089 --> 50:43.212 No jokes about the Nile brackets river and denial brackets mental state sounding similar. 50:44.053 --> 50:45.094 No cheese puns. 50:46.014 --> 50:50.557 No jokes where the punchline is some mangled form of the names Adam and Joe. 50:50.777 --> 50:50.977 Yeah. 50:51.537 --> 50:51.738 Yeah. 50:52.618 --> 50:53.559 Please avoid Potter. 50:54.219 --> 50:54.419 Yes. 50:55.080 --> 50:57.281 And finally, no jokes nicked off Tim Vine. 50:57.641 --> 51:00.223 Please avoid Potter as long as it's absolute solid gold. 51:00.283 --> 51:01.564 I think I've got a good Potter one. 51:01.584 --> 51:03.084 You see, I found a good Potter one. 51:03.124 --> 51:04.265 Maybe we've got the same one. 51:04.285 --> 51:04.445 Right. 51:04.505 --> 51:04.685 Yeah. 51:05.946 --> 51:07.387 Um, and yeah, there we go. 51:07.407 --> 51:08.768 So those are very good rules. 51:08.948 --> 51:10.249 And we can add to them as we go along. 51:10.289 --> 51:11.509 Maybe we should post them on the blog as well. 51:11.529 --> 51:12.970 We should post them on the blog. 51:13.850 --> 51:18.793 I would say try and briefly tell us when and how you made up the joke in no more than a couple of lines. 51:19.393 --> 51:21.435 So we have a bit of sort of heritage context. 51:21.515 --> 51:21.695 Sure. 51:22.895 --> 51:23.255 Let's go. 51:23.575 --> 51:23.916 Let's go. 51:23.956 --> 51:24.436 Let's do it. 51:24.456 --> 51:25.096 You want to kick off? 51:25.716 --> 51:31.158 Shall I just, before you kick off with a good one, I think I read the worst one that we ever got sent this week. 51:31.578 --> 51:33.519 And it, although it made it through the filtering system. 51:33.759 --> 51:35.639 You read it this week, you're about to read it. 51:35.679 --> 51:37.100 Yeah, we got sent it this week. 51:37.160 --> 51:37.360 Okay. 51:37.660 --> 51:45.042 And the, um, the header for the email was joke stink, uh, quite rightly from James Wheeler. 51:45.462 --> 51:50.183 He says, this is a combined effort with myself and my colleague, Stuart Dean. 51:50.643 --> 51:53.564 Every time I say it to myself, I'm a little more disappointed with it. 51:53.904 --> 51:56.504 Well, James Wheeler, you should be, here's the joke. 51:56.944 --> 52:03.646 What did Lionel Richie say after having a sense of dread during a day littered with particularly bad typing errors? 52:04.554 --> 52:08.136 When I get that feeling, I need textual healing. 52:08.517 --> 52:11.159 That wasn't even Lionel Richie, James Wheeler. 52:11.419 --> 52:12.599 That was Marvin Gaye. 52:13.180 --> 52:13.540 Okay. 52:14.201 --> 52:20.965 And textual healing because you're texting because it's particularly bad typing errors. 52:22.126 --> 52:23.967 No, just nothing about it. 52:24.127 --> 52:28.730 Listen to the, listen to the pause you're going to get before the fart here, right? 52:28.951 --> 52:29.491 Listen to it. 52:34.398 --> 52:37.459 That was a long pause, James Wheeler. 52:37.579 --> 52:38.439 You should be ashamed. 52:38.619 --> 52:40.800 And your colleague, Stuart Dean. 52:41.641 --> 52:42.501 Two man effort. 52:43.121 --> 52:44.142 So give us a good one, Joe. 52:44.902 --> 52:45.802 I'm looking through them. 52:45.882 --> 52:46.543 I'm panicking. 52:46.643 --> 52:48.684 I'm looking through the ones I picked out and I'm panicking. 52:48.704 --> 52:49.884 Was it very late at night with a glass of wine? 52:49.904 --> 52:50.484 It was late at night. 52:50.524 --> 52:51.625 I was a little bit tooty. 52:51.965 --> 52:53.746 And I was going, oh, that's not that bad. 52:54.246 --> 52:57.527 But now in the cold light of Saturday morning, it is that bad. 52:57.647 --> 52:57.907 Is it? 52:58.227 --> 52:59.508 Do you want some time? 52:59.588 --> 53:01.349 OK, here's the best one I think I've got. 53:01.929 --> 53:04.131 That's going to be depressing when you hear it. 53:05.532 --> 53:06.553 I do hope this amuses. 53:06.633 --> 53:07.714 Keep up the excellent work. 53:08.114 --> 53:09.135 Says, oh, no, that's someone else. 53:09.175 --> 53:09.396 Sorry. 53:09.456 --> 53:09.976 OK, here we go. 53:10.016 --> 53:11.537 This is from Tom Botel. 53:12.218 --> 53:12.598 Question. 53:12.959 --> 53:16.802 What do you call it when the start of faulty towers touches your bottom in a church? 53:19.024 --> 53:20.085 Ecclesiasticle. 53:26.083 --> 53:26.623 Please. 53:27.424 --> 53:27.924 The Arsticle. 53:27.964 --> 53:28.325 That's nice. 53:28.365 --> 53:29.025 That's not bad. 53:29.105 --> 53:29.746 It's cheeky. 53:30.646 --> 53:31.367 It's topical. 53:32.227 --> 53:32.968 It's religious. 53:34.088 --> 53:35.790 All three things that British people love. 53:36.130 --> 53:37.471 Especially on Easter weekend. 53:37.571 --> 53:37.971 Exactly. 53:38.131 --> 53:39.532 Here's one from Joe Russ. 53:39.712 --> 53:40.593 Oh god, that was a relief. 53:40.613 --> 53:41.213 That's good, man. 53:41.594 --> 53:47.638 He says, my granddad, who's a bit doolally, told me that he lost his hearing when he was in Rome in the war. 53:47.658 --> 53:48.298 I've got this too. 53:48.578 --> 53:53.602 I didn't believe him, but when I asked him if he was sure, he said, yes, definitely. 53:54.286 --> 54:15.494 that's good i had that one out as well that's good that's not even a pause that's just a straight out laugh yeah thanks original do you think i've never heard that i i googled that one deafness and italy are both ideas that have been around for a while right so have doolally old men no it's it's original you really you think so i think so i'd say if that's not original it's coincidentally definitely yeah 54:16.886 --> 54:17.486 That's good, Joe. 54:17.506 --> 54:19.967 Oh, I've got to have another one, I've got to have another one. 54:20.767 --> 54:21.027 Come on. 54:21.047 --> 54:22.807 You've got this good Potter one, haven't you? 54:22.827 --> 54:23.187 OK, OK. 54:23.207 --> 54:24.147 I have got the Potter one. 54:24.207 --> 54:24.848 Come on, isn't there? 54:24.868 --> 54:25.608 I'm sure that it's good. 54:25.948 --> 54:26.308 Here we go. 54:26.368 --> 54:28.228 Here is one from a person. 54:28.268 --> 54:34.490 Dear Adam and Joe, this joke was a real conversation occurring last November, but works when told as a joke. 54:34.510 --> 54:35.470 This is different to my one. 54:35.790 --> 54:36.550 Credit to Neil. 54:36.690 --> 54:37.430 This isn't the Potter one. 54:37.570 --> 54:37.810 Oh, OK. 54:38.090 --> 54:41.231 Credit to Neil, whose response was given in real time, i.e. 54:41.251 --> 54:44.552 without the half hour wait that most would need to come up with such a witty reply. 54:44.852 --> 54:45.292 Here we go. 54:45.712 --> 54:46.332 Neil, quote. 54:46.952 --> 54:51.417 You must be excited about your adventure holiday this weekend, Bruno replies. 54:51.978 --> 54:56.363 Yeah, we're going kayaking, but as it's winter I think it'll be really cold, Neil. 54:56.724 --> 54:59.387 Oh well, I guess you can't have your kayak and heat it. 55:00.148 --> 55:00.609 Nice! 55:01.089 --> 55:01.510 Nice! 55:01.550 --> 55:02.371 He's amazing! 55:02.411 --> 55:03.472 Love the show, Bruno Fisher. 55:03.912 --> 55:04.253 Neil! 55:04.593 --> 55:05.494 I want to hang out with Neil! 55:06.155 --> 55:07.176 Neil's the quick one, right? 55:07.437 --> 55:07.597 Yeah. 55:07.817 --> 55:08.458 He's the witty one. 55:08.478 --> 55:09.218 But Bruno wrote it down. 55:09.659 --> 55:10.159 Well, yeah. 55:10.380 --> 55:11.581 Someone's got to be the scribe, I guess. 55:11.641 --> 55:12.922 But Neil, he's the talent. 55:13.483 --> 55:14.564 That's good, that's good, that's good. 55:14.744 --> 55:16.927 That's more a clever thing they said in the heat of the moment. 55:16.947 --> 55:17.347 That's fine. 55:17.387 --> 55:18.508 And you can send those in as well. 55:18.608 --> 55:19.690 Yeah, funny, funny things you said. 55:19.710 --> 55:20.931 They don't have to be like cracker joke jokes. 55:20.951 --> 55:22.573 They can be witt- witt- witticisms. 55:22.773 --> 55:23.854 So shall I do the Potter one, then? 55:23.994 --> 55:24.174 Yes! 55:24.875 --> 55:28.217 Hi, I've been waiting to tell you this for quite some time, says Craig. 55:28.677 --> 55:35.420 Despite its Potter-related setting, so he does apologize for the Potter, I made it up and I'm convinced no one got there before me. 55:35.660 --> 55:39.522 And I googled this one and I couldn't find anyone else referring to it. 55:39.842 --> 55:48.367 So here's Dumbledore saying, Harry Potter, who is responsible for tearing out the sixth book of my admittedly anachronistic Bible? 55:48.827 --> 55:51.108 Harry Potter says, that was due to Ron and me. 55:52.793 --> 55:53.193 That's good. 55:53.353 --> 55:54.434 Due to Ron and me. 55:54.694 --> 55:58.115 That was due to Ron and me. 55:58.435 --> 56:00.316 That's forced laughter. 56:00.456 --> 56:01.117 Nervous laughter. 56:01.897 --> 56:04.398 He says love you lots and lots like jelly tots. 56:04.438 --> 56:04.978 Thanks Craig. 56:05.018 --> 56:09.720 Do you know the amazing thing that's happened this week is we've actually picked out a lot of similar jokes. 56:09.860 --> 56:11.601 I mean that says something in itself doesn't it? 56:11.661 --> 56:12.902 That's like a filtering system. 56:13.062 --> 56:13.162 Right. 56:13.182 --> 56:14.783 Do you want another one from Cornballs? 56:14.803 --> 56:15.163 Yes please. 56:15.603 --> 56:18.724 Okay here's one from Dean Dino Gibson. 56:19.485 --> 56:19.885 I haven't got it. 56:20.525 --> 56:23.966 I was struck with inspiration for a made-up joke while listening to your show last week. 56:24.046 --> 56:30.047 However, as it's connected with a trailer for another show that was played during yours, I expect you might have a few in a similar vein. 56:30.707 --> 56:36.809 Anyway, I did the Google stroke Tim Vine test and nothing came up, so the only test left is to see how many other people came up with something like it. 56:37.969 --> 56:38.369 Here we go. 56:39.349 --> 56:43.250 I've been getting a lot of unwarranted attention from the lead singer of REM recently. 56:43.871 --> 56:45.431 Turns out I'm Michael Stipe. 56:46.656 --> 56:47.837 I'm Michael's type. 56:48.657 --> 56:49.678 Michael's type. 56:49.758 --> 56:49.978 Hehehey! 56:50.038 --> 56:51.038 Hehehey! 56:51.159 --> 56:51.439 Hehehey! 56:51.499 --> 56:51.859 Hehehey! 56:51.919 --> 56:52.279 Hehehey! 56:52.319 --> 56:52.559 Hehehey! 56:52.579 --> 56:52.799 Hehehey! 56:53.720 --> 56:53.980 Hehehey! 56:54.040 --> 56:54.220 Hehehey! 56:54.240 --> 56:54.400 Hehehey! 56:54.480 --> 56:54.881 Hehehey! 56:54.921 --> 56:55.181 Hehehey! 56:55.201 --> 56:55.361 Hehehey! 56:55.401 --> 56:55.641 Hehehey! 56:55.681 --> 56:55.941 Hehehey! 56:55.981 --> 56:56.221 Hehehey! 56:56.501 --> 56:56.862 Hehehey! 56:56.902 --> 56:57.122 Hehehey! 56:57.142 --> 56:57.382 Hehehey! 56:57.402 --> 56:57.582 Hehehey! 56:57.602 --> 56:57.902 Hehehey! 56:57.922 --> 56:58.242 Hehehey! 56:58.442 --> 56:58.863 Hehehey! 56:58.903 --> 56:59.143 Hehehey! 56:59.303 --> 56:59.703 Hehehey! 56:59.743 --> 57:00.023 Hehehey! 57:00.063 --> 57:00.283 Hehehey! 57:00.383 --> 57:00.604 Hehehey! 57:00.644 --> 57:00.984 Hehehey! 57:01.004 --> 57:01.164 Hehehey! 57:01.224 --> 57:01.464 Hehehey! 57:01.484 --> 57:01.664 Hehehey! 57:01.684 --> 57:01.884 Hehehey! 57:01.904 --> 57:02.144 Hehehey! 57:02.164 --> 57:02.345 Hehehey! 57:02.365 --> 57:02.605 Hehehey! 57:02.645 --> 57:02.905 Hehehey! 57:02.945 --> 57:03.365 Hehehey! 57:03.425 --> 57:04.025 Hehehey! 57:04.085 --> 57:04.386 Hehehey! 57:04.426 --> 57:04.726 Hehehey! 57:04.766 --> 57:05.086 Hehehey! 57:05.126 --> 57:05.426 Hehehey! 57:05.846 --> 57:06.307 Hehehey! 57:06.387 --> 57:06.727 Hehehey! 57:06.747 --> 57:06.947 Hehehey! 57:06.987 --> 57:07.287 Hehehey! 57:07.307 --> 57:07.527 Hehehey! 57:07.547 --> 57:07.747 Hehehey! 57:08.108 --> 57:08.628 Hehehey! 57:08.648 --> 57:09.068 Hehehey! 57:09.108 --> 57:09.468 Hehehey! 57:09.488 --> 57:09.729 Hehehey! 57:09.769 --> 57:09.949 Hehe 57:10.729 --> 57:13.531 Here's one from... I don't know about that last one. 57:13.551 --> 57:18.375 I mean, we kind of masked the aftermath of it with a lot of rubbishy noises and talking. 57:18.555 --> 57:19.376 And Michael's type. 57:19.936 --> 57:21.318 It's not going to set the world on fire. 57:21.558 --> 57:23.099 It's probably not that new either, is it? 57:23.299 --> 57:24.820 Well, someone's got to have said it before. 57:25.261 --> 57:26.742 But he's committed it to papers. 57:26.762 --> 57:27.262 Thanks a lot, Dino. 57:27.302 --> 57:27.883 That's all you need. 57:28.583 --> 57:29.084 Thanks, Dean. 57:29.124 --> 57:29.764 Thanks, sincerely. 57:29.784 --> 57:30.805 Thank you, Dean Dino Gibson. 57:31.005 --> 57:31.486 Thank you very much. 57:32.066 --> 57:34.587 Here's one from Josh. 57:34.607 --> 57:36.248 He's in a hotel in Nicaragua, Joe. 57:36.488 --> 57:36.688 Good. 57:37.408 --> 57:40.509 And he says, what did the disciples eat at the last breakfast? 57:41.530 --> 57:42.310 Corpus Crispies. 57:44.171 --> 57:44.531 Hmm. 57:44.971 --> 57:46.012 Come on. 57:46.092 --> 57:47.552 Does that sound like a cereal? 57:47.972 --> 57:49.333 Yes, Corpus Crispies. 57:49.373 --> 57:50.413 Like Rice Crispies. 57:50.473 --> 57:54.155 He says, I know you're not going to believe that I made that up because it's so clever. 57:55.715 --> 57:56.616 I promise I did. 57:58.197 --> 58:02.641 I thought of it when someone made a genuine slip of the tongue, saying crispy instead of crispy. 58:02.961 --> 58:03.422 So there. 58:03.702 --> 58:06.464 Bye, love you, bye, he says, so he's got the provenance and everything. 58:06.865 --> 58:09.347 I know you're not going to believe I made it up because it's so clever. 58:09.747 --> 58:10.648 Corpus Krispies. 58:11.228 --> 58:11.849 These are delicious. 58:11.869 --> 58:13.770 That's a good one. 58:13.790 --> 58:16.433 Have you got another one there before we wrap it up? 58:16.453 --> 58:17.153 Yeah, kind of. 58:17.193 --> 58:17.614 Come on. 58:17.634 --> 58:19.656 When you say a one, it is a one. 58:19.696 --> 58:20.476 This is from Tom T. 58:22.274 --> 58:22.714 Ah, here we go. 58:22.754 --> 58:24.135 There's a bit of a preamble for this one. 58:24.155 --> 58:25.556 Tommy T. Bear with me, mate. 58:26.357 --> 58:27.337 Here's my made-up joke. 58:27.397 --> 58:31.780 It was coined whilst sat at my computer in about 2004 during my last year of uni. 58:31.800 --> 58:33.561 It will have been during the spring or the summer. 58:33.661 --> 58:39.184 It's been repeated maybe six times since then, once at an ill-advised stand-up night. 58:39.725 --> 58:44.588 My friend Paul maintains that it is hilarious, but I would like your expert opinions. 58:45.108 --> 58:45.508 Here we go. 58:46.209 --> 58:47.810 That's how to say the name Paul, by the way. 58:49.608 --> 58:54.432 Dr Emmett Brown met up with Marty McFly to finalise the arrangements for a cooking trip to the year 2015. 58:57.334 --> 59:03.139 Marty starts to check that they have all of the necessary cooking books to ensure that they're able to produce the most delicious morsels. 59:08.154 --> 59:08.414 Doc. 59:09.135 --> 59:09.836 Here, Doc. 59:09.916 --> 59:10.596 So hang on, do I? 59:11.117 --> 59:13.419 I'm making such a mountain meal out of this. 59:13.499 --> 59:14.099 A mountain meal. 59:14.980 --> 59:15.601 So here we go. 59:16.522 --> 59:18.524 Marty McFly says, Doc, have you bought Delia's book? 59:18.984 --> 59:20.225 Doc says, yes, that's packed. 59:20.625 --> 59:22.507 Marty says, if you remember to bring Nigella's book? 59:22.968 --> 59:24.149 Yeah, that's in the glove box. 59:24.629 --> 59:25.730 Did you bring Gary's book? 59:26.010 --> 59:26.391 Rhodes. 59:26.731 --> 59:28.553 Where we're going, we don't need Rhodes. 59:32.651 --> 59:39.736 You get all the different types of love together for that one. 59:39.916 --> 59:40.196 Right. 59:40.356 --> 59:45.800 Thank you very much indeed to everyone who sent in made up jokes and you know don't worry if you didn't get yours read out this time. 59:45.880 --> 59:50.884 If you don't like this segment or you think the quality of jokes is low. 59:51.164 --> 59:51.364 What? 59:51.624 --> 59:54.226 Then make one up what's better. 59:54.286 --> 59:55.367 Do a more better one. 59:55.387 --> 59:55.927 Send it in. 59:56.087 --> 59:57.568 Raise the standard. 59:57.668 --> 01:00:00.770 64046adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk. 01:00:00.870 --> 01:00:04.112 All organic jokes. 01:00:04.172 --> 01:00:04.973 Public enemy time. 01:00:05.133 --> 01:00:06.854 And now what are your memories of this mate? 01:00:06.974 --> 01:00:07.555 Fight the power. 01:00:07.615 --> 01:00:08.255 Fight the power. 01:00:08.295 --> 01:00:11.617 Well, my memories of this are always connected to the film Do the Right Thing. 01:00:11.657 --> 01:00:12.558 Yeah, that summer. 01:00:12.898 --> 01:00:16.560 It was a hot summer and the film was all about 1989 steamy summer. 01:00:17.221 --> 01:00:20.063 And I remember listening to this around at Zach's house. 01:00:20.503 --> 01:00:26.386 I remember sitting on the steps of the cinema having a discussion about the issues this film raised. 01:00:26.406 --> 01:00:26.807 Yeah. 01:00:26.967 --> 01:00:27.547 But what a record. 01:00:27.567 --> 01:00:32.950 This is ideal if you're getting a little bit hot today and you feel like throwing a dustbin through a shop window. 01:00:32.970 --> 01:00:35.672 And we used to have fun wrapping this in a camp way as well, didn't we? 01:00:36.672 --> 01:00:37.132 Uh, did we? 01:00:37.272 --> 01:00:40.154 Elvis was a hero to most, but he never meant spit to me. 01:00:40.594 --> 01:00:41.675 He's a straight out racist. 01:00:41.895 --> 01:00:43.236 The sucker was simple and plain. 01:00:43.476 --> 01:00:44.857 Mother loved him and John Wayne. 01:00:45.297 --> 01:00:45.537 Yes. 01:00:46.137 --> 01:00:46.458 Like that. 01:00:46.778 --> 01:00:48.979 So lots of ways to enjoy the following record. 01:00:51.028 --> 01:00:52.450 Yeah boy! 01:00:52.770 --> 01:00:54.272 It's the Flav Holmes! 01:00:54.572 --> 01:00:55.873 Cold killin' in effect! 01:00:56.154 --> 01:00:58.776 You probably like Flavor Flav because he's very uptight about time. 01:00:58.997 --> 01:01:00.718 He's very uptight about time. 01:01:00.839 --> 01:01:04.923 He's so much so that he has to wear a giant clock so that he can keep an eye on it at all times. 01:01:04.943 --> 01:01:06.144 Does he still wear his clock, Flav? 01:01:06.484 --> 01:01:07.025 Sure he does. 01:01:07.045 --> 01:01:08.687 Sure he does, when he's not on reality TV shows. 01:01:08.707 --> 01:01:10.929 I haven't seen him for a while, he's been on reality TV shows a few years ago. 01:01:12.671 --> 01:01:14.613 Hey man, you remember we were talking about the shredding thing? 01:01:14.633 --> 01:01:15.154 Hey man! 01:01:15.234 --> 01:01:16.215 Hey guy! 01:01:16.315 --> 01:01:16.696 Hey! 01:01:16.716 --> 01:01:17.617 Woah, chill man! 01:01:17.637 --> 01:01:18.498 Hey Stretch! 01:01:18.758 --> 01:01:19.238 Yo! 01:01:19.439 --> 01:01:20.560 Spare a little coin? 01:01:21.181 --> 01:01:21.701 Stretch? 01:01:21.801 --> 01:01:22.022 Me? 01:01:22.302 --> 01:01:24.805 That's you and you're on the pavement and I'm walking past. 01:01:25.165 --> 01:01:25.886 Hey Stretch! 01:01:26.146 --> 01:01:26.587 Stretch! 01:01:26.727 --> 01:01:27.828 Hey tall guy! 01:01:28.129 --> 01:01:28.749 Big man! 01:01:29.030 --> 01:01:31.753 You spare a little coin for a guy who's got wee wee shoes? 01:01:32.213 --> 01:01:35.435 Longboy, got a little money in the man with stinky boots? 01:01:35.615 --> 01:01:41.578 Longshanks, look I got peepee on my shoes, you can spare a little coin for me I don't suppose, big boy? 01:01:41.598 --> 01:01:54.324 Remember me, lanky lanky Lulu, you remember me with six music, don't you remember the stinky- Hey, head in the clouds, film man, you spare me a couple of dimes for my stinky shoes? 01:01:56.300 --> 01:01:56.920 No, I can't. 01:01:57.361 --> 01:01:57.641 Please? 01:01:59.001 --> 01:02:02.363 So, um, just a short thing to say that you were right about the Shred guy. 01:02:02.883 --> 01:02:04.604 He got the Kings of Leon vocal. 01:02:04.624 --> 01:02:05.505 Yes, he did use the original. 01:02:05.525 --> 01:02:06.725 We were talking about this last week. 01:02:06.745 --> 01:02:11.288 This was a video of the Kings of Leon performing very badly that Adam thought was real. 01:02:11.808 --> 01:02:17.971 He then discovered it was made by a young man who specialised in Shredding videos, who we've been very happy to correspond with. 01:02:18.231 --> 01:02:18.691 Allerganoids. 01:02:18.712 --> 01:02:19.252 And his dad. 01:02:19.432 --> 01:02:20.612 He is on YouTube. 01:02:20.632 --> 01:02:22.193 Then the following week we had an argument. 01:02:22.854 --> 01:02:24.975 It was a discussion whether he had 01:02:25.715 --> 01:02:28.898 actually re-recorded the whole thing, including the vocals? 01:02:28.978 --> 01:02:29.959 Yeah, I thought he had. 01:02:30.659 --> 01:02:36.244 Turns out that he actually isolated the vocals somehow and reconstructed the music around it. 01:02:36.284 --> 01:02:38.466 I don't know how he did it, but somehow he did it. 01:02:38.546 --> 01:02:39.887 It seems incredible. 01:02:40.828 --> 01:02:41.709 Anyway, so there you go. 01:02:41.789 --> 01:02:42.969 Anyway, thanks a lot for that, Tom. 01:02:43.210 --> 01:02:44.490 And you were right, Joe. 01:02:45.411 --> 01:02:47.132 OK, here's a free play. 01:02:47.152 --> 01:02:48.213 This is a band called Zombie Zombie. 01:02:48.273 --> 01:02:49.373 I think they're French. 01:02:49.994 --> 01:02:54.216 I only think, though, I don't want to go around accusing people of being French without being fully informed. 01:02:54.256 --> 01:02:54.937 Zombie Zombie. 01:02:55.597 --> 01:02:59.860 And they've done a cover of a whole lot of they've done an album of covers of John Carpenter themes. 01:03:00.240 --> 01:03:02.822 Here is Zombie Zombie's cover of the theme from Assault on Precinct 13. 01:03:04.611 --> 01:03:13.421 Fleet foxes with battery Kinsey with their biscuit tins and their half-broken guitar but the joy of unified vocal singing. 01:03:13.862 --> 01:03:24.874 All sat round the campfire cooking away their dinner of logs and cones in a small town called Hooten Tots at the foot of the Appalachian Mountains. 01:03:26.475 --> 01:03:29.117 All trying to disentangle their beards from one another. 01:03:29.917 --> 01:03:34.660 Sipping for gold when they're not making up some sort of a historically valid tune. 01:03:35.100 --> 01:03:40.543 Peeling the old leather from the bottom of their boots and frying it up like a yummy fish. 01:03:41.323 --> 01:03:43.204 Cutting off their tongues and making bunting. 01:03:46.932 --> 01:03:51.057 Tongue-bunting, just like their forefathers did when they could find no papyrus. 01:03:51.718 --> 01:03:52.139 Son! 01:03:52.539 --> 01:03:54.261 We're at a tongue button! 01:03:54.562 --> 01:04:00.289 You go out there and make some more, or I'm gonna whip you with a mollusk! 01:04:01.786 --> 01:04:03.988 It's what it was like when the Fleet Foxes were growing up. 01:04:04.168 --> 01:04:05.930 A look back at the past there. 01:04:06.731 --> 01:04:10.114 Now, Joe, you listen to Radio 4, right, when you're not busy? 01:04:10.314 --> 01:04:10.534 I do. 01:04:10.634 --> 01:04:11.675 Adam, I was on Radio 4. 01:04:12.536 --> 01:04:14.658 You were the host of Back Row? 01:04:15.119 --> 01:04:17.040 Hello and welcome to Back Row on Radio 4. 01:04:17.741 --> 01:04:22.405 Wow, just that voice gives me the chills in my pants in my Netherlands. 01:04:24.047 --> 01:04:25.748 But the other one, of course, is front row. 01:04:25.808 --> 01:04:26.949 Back row is for movies, right? 01:04:27.069 --> 01:04:27.309 Yes. 01:04:27.609 --> 01:04:30.551 Front row is their flagship culture show on Radio 4. 01:04:30.591 --> 01:04:31.051 For the arts. 01:04:31.432 --> 01:04:32.112 Arts and farts. 01:04:32.732 --> 01:04:36.395 And it's Mark Lawson is one of the regular hosts, and who's the other guy, John? 01:04:37.295 --> 01:04:37.516 Anyway. 01:04:37.956 --> 01:04:45.561 I was listening to it this week, and they're having a... It was a themed week of items about digital future. 01:04:45.701 --> 01:04:48.583 Like, how is the future going to change due to digital technology? 01:04:49.103 --> 01:04:52.526 And one of the things they had was a composer lady on there. 01:04:53.386 --> 01:04:58.350 And they set her the challenge of making a little composition with just a smartphone. 01:04:58.410 --> 01:04:59.751 Because it can be done. 01:04:59.771 --> 01:05:01.192 It can be done these days. 01:05:01.912 --> 01:05:10.419 So here's basically a clipped version of that segment and here's the lady putting together her mobile phone symphony. 01:05:10.979 --> 01:05:13.902 This evening we set a challenge for composer Shirley Thompson. 01:05:14.422 --> 01:05:24.651 We asked her to travel from her home in East London into Broadcasting House composing and recording music in reaction to what she could see en route using only an iPhone app. 01:05:25.031 --> 01:05:31.998 I found some really interesting bell sounds on the music app that I'm going to incorporate in the composition. 01:05:37.486 --> 01:05:40.749 OK, that's the first track inspired by Stratford. 01:05:40.809 --> 01:05:42.490 I'm about to get on the tube. 01:05:43.611 --> 01:05:49.896 This sound's called mobile phones, which seems very apt for urban London and the fact that I'm using a mobile phone. 01:05:54.660 --> 01:06:04.168 I'm going to look for some sounds that are in contrast to the sounds that I used on the Underground, something that's contrary to what you would normally think of as being urban. 01:06:11.041 --> 01:06:11.942 The journey's ended. 01:06:12.662 --> 01:06:14.123 I'm in broadcasting house. 01:06:14.343 --> 01:06:18.806 I'm just going to put a few finishing touches to my composition. 01:06:19.327 --> 01:06:20.708 What about some starting touches? 01:06:23.489 --> 01:06:28.693 Well, she's got an amazing palette of extraordinary modern sounds, digital sounds there to work with. 01:06:29.173 --> 01:06:30.955 She's a professional composer. 01:06:31.555 --> 01:06:33.917 She is what's her name again? 01:06:33.997 --> 01:06:35.938 Shirley Thompson. 01:06:36.258 --> 01:06:37.258 I think her name was. 01:06:37.479 --> 01:06:38.499 She's a well respected composer. 01:06:38.519 --> 01:06:40.860 She was doing a very good job with quite a tricky brief. 01:06:41.220 --> 01:06:41.960 Absolutely, yeah. 01:06:42.401 --> 01:06:53.205 Come up with, and it's always fun when they do this on art shows every now and again, just put creative people on the spot and say, right, we've given them one hour and they've got to come up with an entire play in that time. 01:06:53.225 --> 01:06:55.746 From absolutely nothing, from suggestions texted in by our audience. 01:06:55.766 --> 01:06:56.266 Now that happened once. 01:06:56.566 --> 01:06:58.107 That happened on Club X or something. 01:06:58.147 --> 01:07:00.108 Yeah, in the mid 80s on Channel 4. 01:07:00.488 --> 01:07:05.470 And the results in that situation were absolutely ludicrous and appalling. 01:07:06.110 --> 01:07:08.571 But what do you think is going to be the case in this situation? 01:07:08.651 --> 01:07:10.911 How is Shirley going to weave those different sounds? 01:07:10.971 --> 01:07:12.572 Oh, so those were merely the component parts? 01:07:12.592 --> 01:07:14.092 That's just the component parts. 01:07:14.112 --> 01:07:14.472 No way. 01:07:14.532 --> 01:07:16.713 And did she have extra time to weave them together? 01:07:16.773 --> 01:07:19.153 She had a little bit of extra time when she got to Broadcasting House. 01:07:19.193 --> 01:07:21.774 Yeah, to put the finishing touches on it and present it to the front row. 01:07:21.794 --> 01:07:24.915 Well, there seemed to me to be three different ringtones there was what she had. 01:07:25.495 --> 01:07:26.195 Isn't that the case? 01:07:26.435 --> 01:07:28.135 She was using an app, a music generator. 01:07:28.155 --> 01:07:28.636 Oh, an app. 01:07:28.656 --> 01:07:29.296 An app, yeah. 01:07:29.516 --> 01:07:31.336 I don't understand that kind of lingo. 01:07:31.936 --> 01:07:34.077 So are you ready to find out how she got on? 01:07:34.177 --> 01:07:34.337 Yes. 01:07:34.657 --> 01:07:38.199 Okay, here is the finished composition by Shirley Thompson. 01:08:02.893 --> 01:08:08.055 Shirley Thompson's app symphony entitled bow bells in Stratford personally delivered to front row. 01:08:10.255 --> 01:08:14.017 No disrespect Shirley, but it's not Beethoven's fifth. 01:08:14.137 --> 01:08:17.718 The funny thing is Lawson could talk about that for a good 10 to 15 minutes. 01:08:17.798 --> 01:08:18.758 Yeah, absolutely. 01:08:19.258 --> 01:08:20.179 That's a funny thing, isn't it? 01:08:20.219 --> 01:08:27.761 That when very super, super intelligent adults do something that is a little alien to them, they basically, it reduces them to the level of a toddler. 01:08:27.941 --> 01:08:28.221 Yeah. 01:08:29.162 --> 01:08:30.122 Is that what's happening there? 01:08:30.583 --> 01:08:38.153 Well, I mean, it is tricky, but I've had to go myself with some of my journey sounds from my trip into London the other day. 01:08:38.173 --> 01:08:39.555 Do you want to hear how I got on? 01:08:39.655 --> 01:08:39.956 I do. 01:08:40.136 --> 01:08:41.558 Here's Dr. Buckles' Travel Symphony. 01:09:00.759 --> 01:09:01.980 That was me screaming at the end. 01:09:02.441 --> 01:09:04.903 I actually just put that together like, well, since we've been on air. 01:09:05.044 --> 01:09:12.852 Well, since you played that, we've been called by Front Row and by the Royal Albert Hall and the BBC Philharmonic Orchestra. 01:09:13.032 --> 01:09:20.860 I'm very excited to say that Jarvis Cocker will be presenting a fully orchestrated version of that symphony at the Royal Albert Hall on Tuesday at four in the morning. 01:09:22.248 --> 01:09:22.868 Oh, wicked. 01:09:23.088 --> 01:09:23.849 I can't believe it. 01:09:23.889 --> 01:09:24.129 Yeah. 01:09:24.309 --> 01:09:25.269 Thanks Jarvis. 01:09:25.610 --> 01:09:26.070 That's cool. 01:09:26.110 --> 01:09:31.732 Hey, if you want to send us your travel symphonies, ladies and gentlemen, we'd be very happy to receive them. 01:09:31.792 --> 01:09:44.698 Don't forget the address for any kind of communication, whether you want to send us a picture or some sound stuff that you've done or just an email is adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk. 01:09:44.738 --> 01:09:45.758 We'd love to hear from you. 01:09:46.098 --> 01:09:49.000 Here's Corner Shot now with a crusty classic. 01:09:49.100 --> 01:09:49.980 It's Brimful of Asher. 01:09:50.908 --> 01:10:09.855 sounds good man yeah Bobby Gillespie sitting in for Jarvis Cocker's regular Sunday service show here on BBC six music every Sunday at four and last week I believe Jarvis was sent by six music to the BBC archive in Perivale where he produced an incredible show where he was thumbing through the amazing archives they've got there 01:10:09.895 --> 01:10:13.978 All the original vinyl, like the first ever vinyl records ever made. 01:10:14.038 --> 01:10:15.920 Is that still available to listen to on iPlayer? 01:10:15.940 --> 01:10:16.781 It is, yeah. 01:10:16.901 --> 01:10:17.921 It's a great show, that. 01:10:18.482 --> 01:10:26.528 But of course it prompted... I don't know why I said of course, but it did prompt a letter in the BBC internal magazine, Aerial. 01:10:26.929 --> 01:10:31.292 You might have heard of that mag if you work at the BBC, which hundreds and hundreds of people do. 01:10:31.753 --> 01:10:33.854 They have their own internal gossip mag. 01:10:33.974 --> 01:10:34.635 It's like Pravda. 01:10:34.955 --> 01:10:38.278 Yeah, with a letters page that's very active and opinionated. 01:10:38.659 --> 01:10:47.847 And here is a letter responding to a photo that was published, a photo from Jarvis's little session in the archive there. 01:10:48.428 --> 01:10:58.757 And this listener and BBC staff member who will, or former BBC staff member who will remain anonymous, had a bit of a problem with the photo that was taken of Jarvis in the archive. 01:10:58.777 --> 01:10:59.338 What's the photo? 01:11:00.339 --> 01:11:21.617 the letter will explain here's the letter uh this letter is headed grubby grooves i was stunned to see the photograph of jarvis cocker firmly gripping between thumb and forefinger what was described as a music treasure ariel april the fifth from the bbc archives when i was in the bbc in the 60s and 70s such action and he means grabbing a record between thumb and forefinger 01:11:21.957 --> 01:11:24.300 Such action would have resulted in a damn good telling off. 01:11:24.820 --> 01:11:26.783 We would have been expected to hang our heads in shame. 01:11:27.203 --> 01:11:31.368 From the day I arrived, we were told that we were never to touch the grooves of any record in case we damaged it. 01:11:31.888 --> 01:11:40.198 Not only am I astonished that someone like Jarvis Cocker is actually touching the grooves himself, I'm even more astonished that the BBC takes a photograph of him doing it. 01:11:40.878 --> 01:11:44.499 Now, if further proof is needed of falling standards, look no further! 01:11:45.840 --> 01:11:48.140 Former BBC staff member whose name I will withhold. 01:11:48.440 --> 01:11:56.583 So there's a photo of Jarvis gripping a record there between thumb and forefinger and indeed all the thumb is on the rear and all forefingers are resting in the groove. 01:11:57.303 --> 01:11:58.563 And Jarvis is having a good look. 01:11:58.683 --> 01:12:01.204 You know, I'm a little surprised to see that myself. 01:12:01.644 --> 01:12:06.145 Well, I have to say I pride myself on my technique of picking up vinyl records as well. 01:12:06.265 --> 01:12:08.926 You know, you've got a, you've got a, a palms outstretched. 01:12:09.026 --> 01:12:09.246 Yeah. 01:12:09.486 --> 01:12:13.186 And you just grip the very edges with the outstretched palms. 01:12:13.226 --> 01:12:13.627 Yes. 01:12:13.767 --> 01:12:14.907 And you can do a flippity flip. 01:12:15.067 --> 01:12:15.267 Right. 01:12:15.467 --> 01:12:21.068 You can just sort of spin it between the palms of your hands, or you can use the little hole in the middle, which has a name, doesn't it? 01:12:21.488 --> 01:12:21.948 The spindle? 01:12:22.328 --> 01:12:23.269 The sprutal. 01:12:23.349 --> 01:12:23.889 The sprotrel? 01:12:24.089 --> 01:12:24.729 The sprotrel. 01:12:25.829 --> 01:12:31.291 And you can just balance that on your finger and you can do all sorts of Harlem Globetrotters style maneuvers without touching the grooves. 01:12:31.451 --> 01:12:34.832 It's the same as CDs and CD-ROMs. 01:12:35.212 --> 01:12:38.373 Well, I get very antsy-pantsy about DVDs. 01:12:39.394 --> 01:12:45.676 If someone touches the surface of one of my precious DVDs, for instance, Pootie Tang, I will get very annoyed. 01:12:47.116 --> 01:12:49.397 Because it may cause Pootie Tang to skip in the future. 01:12:50.337 --> 01:12:53.461 Well, he's saying sign your pity on the rutty kine, rutty, runny kine. 01:12:53.481 --> 01:12:55.483 Does anybody know what I'm talking about? 01:12:56.144 --> 01:12:57.165 Who's in Pooty Tang? 01:12:57.365 --> 01:12:58.847 Come on, everyone's in Pooty Tang. 01:12:59.628 --> 01:13:01.330 Sign your pity on the runny kine! 01:13:02.171 --> 01:13:03.733 Is that Keenan Ivory Wayans or something? 01:13:03.793 --> 01:13:03.873 No. 01:13:04.429 --> 01:13:05.009 Who's in there? 01:13:05.129 --> 01:13:05.649 I'll find out. 01:13:06.230 --> 01:13:08.690 Chris Rock. 01:13:08.750 --> 01:13:09.591 I agree with you. 01:13:09.631 --> 01:13:16.673 You either grip it at the edges, on the very edges, you don't touch the surface, or you put your finger through the middle. 01:13:16.693 --> 01:13:19.214 That's a good rule for life in the general. 01:13:19.414 --> 01:13:23.475 Do you think the BBC should have more strictly enforced rules about such behaviour? 01:13:24.179 --> 01:13:24.419 Sure. 01:13:24.499 --> 01:13:25.500 I mean, I'm amazed. 01:13:25.760 --> 01:13:28.041 I know Jarvis is a professional groove tickler. 01:13:28.121 --> 01:13:30.362 Can we get Jarvis to respond to this at all? 01:13:30.763 --> 01:13:35.905 Do you think he has some sort of excuse or some sort of reasoning behind it? 01:13:36.086 --> 01:13:40.988 But he is in the rare archives there and he has just got his crappy fingers all over the groove. 01:13:41.889 --> 01:13:43.330 It's just unbelievable. 01:13:43.370 --> 01:13:45.171 Can you see what sort of a record he's holding? 01:13:45.651 --> 01:13:47.512 I mean, it's an old it's an old one. 01:13:48.132 --> 01:13:49.253 I can see that it's old. 01:13:51.113 --> 01:13:52.914 It looks rare, and it's black. 01:13:53.314 --> 01:13:54.155 The grooves are black. 01:13:54.855 --> 01:14:01.377 But no, I think it's a disgrace, and I think that the guy is absolutely right, the former BBC staff member, to write in. 01:14:01.417 --> 01:14:02.938 I don't know what Jarvis is thinking about. 01:14:02.958 --> 01:14:05.939 He should be reprimanded and have the tips of his fingers spanked. 01:14:05.979 --> 01:14:07.439 He should have his program withdrawn. 01:14:08.060 --> 01:14:09.920 I think maybe that's why Bobby Gillespie's filling in. 01:14:10.000 --> 01:14:10.981 Right, because he's being punished. 01:14:11.221 --> 01:14:13.101 He's having the tips of his fingers... what? 01:14:13.322 --> 01:14:13.942 Spanked. 01:14:14.162 --> 01:14:14.602 Spanked? 01:14:15.042 --> 01:14:15.282 Yeah. 01:14:16.043 --> 01:14:16.343 Really? 01:14:16.723 --> 01:14:16.943 Mm-hmm. 01:14:17.503 --> 01:14:19.064 by the man who runs the BBC. 01:14:19.184 --> 01:14:21.926 Yeah, well Bob Shannon's doing the fingertip spanking. 01:14:21.966 --> 01:14:22.226 Is he? 01:14:22.286 --> 01:14:22.466 Yeah. 01:14:22.967 --> 01:14:26.709 Well, like in the film Kes, they're just going to cane his end of his fingers. 01:14:26.869 --> 01:14:31.773 It's a tiny little ruler he's got, he's just going to flick them against the tips of Jarvis's fingers. 01:14:31.953 --> 01:14:35.776 And listen fact fans, of course Pootie Tang stars Lance Crowther. 01:14:36.356 --> 01:14:36.916 Lance! 01:14:37.096 --> 01:14:38.057 And JB Smoove. 01:14:38.097 --> 01:14:39.458 It's a Crowther classic. 01:14:39.778 --> 01:14:44.842 Smoove and Crowther, plus Jennifer Coolidge, Robert Vaughan and Wanda Sykes and Chris Rock. 01:14:45.382 --> 01:14:46.503 How many times have you seen it? 01:14:46.643 --> 01:14:47.463 And Laura Keitlinger. 01:14:47.843 --> 01:14:48.723 Is Laura Keitlinger in? 01:14:48.743 --> 01:14:48.984 Yeah. 01:14:49.204 --> 01:14:50.144 We met Laura Keitlinger. 01:14:50.164 --> 01:14:50.984 I like Pootie Tang. 01:14:51.124 --> 01:14:53.285 Pootie Tang was a character on the Chris Rock talk show. 01:14:53.586 --> 01:14:53.906 Right. 01:14:53.926 --> 01:14:56.087 The talk sort of nonsensical street jive. 01:14:56.187 --> 01:14:56.787 Yeah. 01:14:56.807 --> 01:14:58.047 He had his own spin-off movie. 01:14:58.628 --> 01:15:01.229 Wasn't hugely successful but some people like me like it. 01:15:01.989 --> 01:15:02.489 Pootie Tang. 01:15:02.789 --> 01:15:04.910 Is it better than the Jiminy Glick spin-off movie? 01:15:04.930 --> 01:15:06.731 About the same. 01:15:07.011 --> 01:15:08.012 About the same! 01:15:09.192 --> 01:15:10.613 Hey, here's a free play for you now listeners. 01:15:10.873 --> 01:15:12.173 This is a very summery track. 01:15:12.193 --> 01:15:15.875 You could fire this one off James because it's got a long Build up here. 01:15:15.895 --> 01:15:30.701 Yeah, and this is from talking heads last album naked meaning final yeah, their final album together and You've got Kirsty McCall doing backing vocals on this got you Kirsty McCall. 01:15:30.941 --> 01:15:32.862 You got your Johnny Marr Johnny Marr 01:15:33.682 --> 01:15:35.542 and it's one of the most summery sounds ever. 01:15:35.642 --> 01:15:39.063 It's one of the most summery sounds...quid for a pan. 01:15:40.043 --> 01:15:41.084 It's nothing but flowers. 01:15:42.584 --> 01:15:46.145 Oh man, sorry to chip into that but I thought we'd have a bit of a textination. 01:15:46.225 --> 01:15:47.085 I do love that song. 01:15:47.145 --> 01:15:48.805 Is this from the film True Stories? 01:15:49.305 --> 01:15:49.685 No, no, no. 01:15:50.305 --> 01:15:57.727 True Stories was the album before this one, Naked I think, and it really reminds me of that summer that we went to Paris. 01:15:58.567 --> 01:15:59.808 No, you're choking up. 01:16:00.228 --> 01:16:01.069 So emotional. 01:16:01.369 --> 01:16:02.310 What did we do in Paris? 01:16:02.610 --> 01:16:05.772 You teased me about the leather hat that I was wearing. 01:16:06.173 --> 01:16:06.733 Yes. 01:16:06.753 --> 01:16:07.234 Remember? 01:16:07.274 --> 01:16:08.615 For the whole trip, did I do that? 01:16:08.675 --> 01:16:09.255 Is that all I did? 01:16:09.275 --> 01:16:10.596 It feels like it. 01:16:10.636 --> 01:16:14.159 And then you and Mark ganged up on me and teased me because... 01:16:14.699 --> 01:16:15.019 What was it? 01:16:15.060 --> 01:16:15.941 I can't remember why. 01:16:16.161 --> 01:16:17.442 Probably still a leather hat. 01:16:18.003 --> 01:16:19.144 It may have been a leather hat. 01:16:19.204 --> 01:16:21.547 I lost the plot of the leather hat, got very angry indeed. 01:16:22.027 --> 01:16:25.291 But that was the soundtrack of that summer was that album naked. 01:16:25.712 --> 01:16:28.375 Mr. Jones, put a wiggle in your stride. 01:16:29.281 --> 01:16:49.546 great great horn section on that yeah yeah and Johnny Mars lovely guitar and everything anyway Johnny Ma really yeah oh you said that earlier didn't you well he's doing back into my brain backing vocals on this track with Coasty McColl but but he was also very very talented on the guitar yeah man he's a king talking heads okay so let's have some text donation let's do the jingle James 01:16:51.921 --> 01:16:52.782 Text the nation! 01:16:52.802 --> 01:16:53.062 Text! 01:16:53.162 --> 01:16:53.422 Text! 01:16:53.502 --> 01:16:53.823 Text! 01:16:53.963 --> 01:16:54.703 Text the nation! 01:16:54.783 --> 01:16:55.724 What if I don't want to? 01:16:55.984 --> 01:16:56.685 Text the nation! 01:16:56.805 --> 01:16:57.806 But I'm using email. 01:16:57.966 --> 01:16:58.726 Is that a problem? 01:16:58.746 --> 01:16:59.627 It doesn't matter text! 01:17:01.729 --> 01:17:04.771 So this is quite a broad, moany text the nation subject. 01:17:04.971 --> 01:17:07.533 Everybody loves to moan on a sunny weekend. 01:17:07.673 --> 01:17:08.434 British pastime. 01:17:08.494 --> 01:17:09.515 Favourite British pastime. 01:17:09.595 --> 01:17:15.560 And we're just moaning about ways in which modern technology has actually made life worse, possibly. 01:17:16.080 --> 01:17:16.961 Keep the whole thing downbeat. 01:17:17.421 --> 01:17:17.501 Yeah. 01:17:17.541 --> 01:17:18.142 You know what I mean? 01:17:18.422 --> 01:17:19.703 Modern bad feelings. 01:17:19.783 --> 01:17:20.763 Keep things depressing. 01:17:20.923 --> 01:17:34.072 You know, before you carry on, a thing, and this isn't a technology thing so much as just a modern phenomenon, is when you're reading an article and you're sort of, you know, you're happy reading the article, suddenly you realize it's an advertisement feature. 01:17:34.412 --> 01:17:35.073 An advertorial! 01:17:35.974 --> 01:17:37.675 You just think, thanks very much! 01:17:37.695 --> 01:17:41.538 It's like you've just been slapped in the face by an ad man, kneed in the julies. 01:17:41.558 --> 01:17:42.799 Can you not usually tell, though? 01:17:43.180 --> 01:17:46.502 By the general tenor and the kind of... They're getting very sophisticated. 01:17:46.723 --> 01:17:50.646 But then sometimes, that's the thing is, you feel so embarrassed for not spotting it sometimes, you know? 01:17:50.986 --> 01:17:56.070 There's always a slight difference, it's slightly differently laid out, but then sometimes you start reading it. 01:17:56.131 --> 01:17:58.933 Oh, it is an interesting... Oh, it's an advertorial! 01:18:00.023 --> 01:18:00.323 Yes. 01:18:01.644 --> 01:18:03.684 Here's an email from Rebecca in Bristol. 01:18:04.464 --> 01:18:07.405 Very well. 01:18:07.745 --> 01:18:08.706 I think I understand. 01:18:11.947 --> 01:18:17.288 Rebecca, she says, I hate it when I go to a gig and everyone in front of me is recording the act on their smartphone. 01:18:17.608 --> 01:18:20.229 All you can see are people holding up their phones throughout the whole thing. 01:18:20.609 --> 01:18:24.652 If you manage to stand in a place with a good view, you then have to worry about seeing past the smartphones. 01:18:25.012 --> 01:18:26.293 Some people record the whole show. 01:18:26.333 --> 01:18:27.014 It's ridiculous. 01:18:27.274 --> 01:18:28.655 Why don't people just watch the gig? 01:18:28.695 --> 01:18:29.475 It's so off-putting. 01:18:29.776 --> 01:18:31.297 Always draws my attention to the phone. 01:18:31.537 --> 01:18:36.400 I mean, I have to admit that I, in the past, what I do is I record a little section of my favourite song. 01:18:36.660 --> 01:18:36.901 Right. 01:18:36.981 --> 01:18:37.261 Do you? 01:18:37.481 --> 01:18:43.127 Yeah, just because one day I've got it in my mind that I'm going to make a big montage of all my gig moments. 01:18:43.787 --> 01:18:53.597 But I know what she means, and then there's not a moment when you're going to watch back a little crappy movie that you've taken, however sophisticated your phone, where the sound is totally distorted. 01:18:54.017 --> 01:18:58.742 People upload them to YouTube the whole time and you just see these super compressed movies that they've taken at gigs. 01:19:01.563 --> 01:19:04.965 I mean that sounded good. 01:19:05.145 --> 01:19:05.625 Who was that? 01:19:06.105 --> 01:19:07.206 Was that the Wurzels? 01:19:07.566 --> 01:19:09.166 That was the Wurzels with Shane McGowan. 01:19:09.206 --> 01:19:09.747 Very good life. 01:19:10.487 --> 01:19:13.128 Here's one from Jack Murphy, who's a Jonathan and male. 01:19:13.788 --> 01:19:17.310 Hand dryers, brackets, automatic hand drying devices, close brackets. 01:19:17.590 --> 01:19:22.132 Although very common in day to day life, I feel that the majority of hand dryers are pointless as they don't actually dry your hands. 01:19:22.432 --> 01:19:24.232 They just move the water to your wrists. 01:19:24.373 --> 01:19:25.213 What about the blade? 01:19:25.473 --> 01:19:27.534 Well that's what he's talking about, the Dyson blade. 01:19:28.194 --> 01:19:36.721 And it is more and more common in the Lavi, that particular machine, but he's right, it pushes the water up to your wrists, so you have wet wrists. 01:19:37.121 --> 01:19:37.602 Wet cuffs? 01:19:37.982 --> 01:19:38.803 Yeah, wet cuffs. 01:19:39.683 --> 01:19:45.088 You know, I was just about to make an observation, but then I suddenly realised that I'd remembered it from a Michael McIntyre routine. 01:19:45.108 --> 01:19:47.610 That's a legitimate observation. 01:19:47.970 --> 01:19:56.176 About bending over into, you know, using the blade, and the fact that it forces you into a sort of strange position with your bum out. 01:19:57.137 --> 01:19:57.978 Right. 01:19:58.118 --> 01:19:59.259 Does it work while doing that? 01:19:59.399 --> 01:20:02.181 It made sense when Michael McIntyre was saying it. 01:20:02.621 --> 01:20:12.047 Listen, Jonathan ends his email saying the most effective hand-drying device I have used beside a towel is the Dyson Airblade, pictured below, but most of the time I feel I have to put aside a good 45 seconds of my time to dry my hands. 01:20:12.107 --> 01:20:14.009 It's a disgrace! 01:20:14.289 --> 01:20:15.250 But you are saving the planet. 01:20:15.490 --> 01:20:16.250 A little bit, are you? 01:20:16.450 --> 01:20:17.731 I can never figure it out. 01:20:17.811 --> 01:20:19.552 Like, is the electricity better than that? 01:20:20.813 --> 01:20:26.900 Here is another one that has come in via text from Clive who is in the Caution Regiment of the Black Squadron. 01:20:27.200 --> 01:20:27.621 Caution? 01:20:27.901 --> 01:20:28.081 Yeah. 01:20:28.521 --> 01:20:29.543 Oh good. 01:20:29.583 --> 01:20:31.144 They're one of the most hardest gangs. 01:20:31.264 --> 01:20:31.444 Yeah. 01:20:31.545 --> 01:20:38.472 He says traffic updates on my car stereogram always kick in when I'm either in mid sing-along or a tense part of an audiobook. 01:20:38.772 --> 01:20:39.252 observation. 01:20:39.272 --> 01:20:42.155 Then I spend the rest of the day with the traffic and travel jingle in my head. 01:20:42.335 --> 01:20:42.895 Absolutely. 01:20:43.075 --> 01:20:43.956 And you can turn it off. 01:20:44.076 --> 01:20:46.378 There is always a button for turning those alerts off. 01:20:46.398 --> 01:20:48.399 But it's weirdly cryptically marked, isn't it? 01:20:48.459 --> 01:20:50.060 And I can, I don't know which one it is. 01:20:50.581 --> 01:20:52.802 Usually it shares a button with some other function. 01:20:52.842 --> 01:20:56.945 I've had my car for a good 10 years and I still don't know what that blooming button is. 01:20:56.985 --> 01:21:00.468 It's got to be the cause of, I would say, at least a small handful of accidents. 01:21:00.508 --> 01:21:01.649 People reaching, trying to 01:21:01.769 --> 01:21:03.190 Turn the earth travel alerts off! 01:21:03.250 --> 01:21:03.850 I agree with you. 01:21:04.030 --> 01:21:04.551 Who was that from? 01:21:04.871 --> 01:21:05.171 Clive. 01:21:05.311 --> 01:21:05.651 Caution. 01:21:05.812 --> 01:21:06.232 Thanks, Clive. 01:21:06.312 --> 01:21:07.072 I agree with you, Caution. 01:21:07.393 --> 01:21:07.713 Barney. 01:21:07.893 --> 01:21:08.413 Forest Hill. 01:21:08.613 --> 01:21:09.254 Hi Adam and Joe. 01:21:09.474 --> 01:21:14.157 My Sainsbury's nearby in Forest Hill has a self-checkout where you can take a trolley through which I quite enjoy. 01:21:14.397 --> 01:21:15.938 The alcohol thing is a drag. 01:21:16.038 --> 01:21:21.081 I guess he means you have to get a member of staff to demonstrate that you're old enough for alcohol. 01:21:21.482 --> 01:21:21.702 But... 01:21:22.502 --> 01:21:34.570 You can stick it to the man by weighing your produce and putting clementines through as satsumas or bananas as onions if you want to live on the edge. 01:21:36.431 --> 01:21:39.533 He gets out of the shop. 01:21:46.459 --> 01:21:48.379 In your face, man! 01:21:50.060 --> 01:21:53.141 They're not tzatzumas! 01:21:54.581 --> 01:21:56.062 They're clementines! 01:22:00.043 --> 01:22:01.324 Here's another one from Matt. 01:22:01.844 --> 01:22:02.745 Matthew Twist. 01:22:02.825 --> 01:22:03.526 That's a good name. 01:22:04.086 --> 01:22:04.787 Hi Adam and Joe. 01:22:04.967 --> 01:22:10.951 I like to think that there are cameras secretly watching me when using the barcode scanner thingy in the supermarket. 01:22:11.392 --> 01:22:18.857 The quicker and more efficient I am, the more chance I will have of the manager seeing my potential and coming up to me after I've checked out and offering me a job. 01:22:19.478 --> 01:22:20.438 Due to my checkout skills. 01:22:20.779 --> 01:22:26.623 As yet I've not been offered a job, but I am increasing my scanning speed in hopes of getting one. 01:22:26.663 --> 01:22:27.504 Thanks and bye Matt. 01:22:28.305 --> 01:22:30.167 Wow, he said his sight's really high there. 01:22:30.747 --> 01:22:31.328 He has. 01:22:31.948 --> 01:22:37.994 But that's a good way to incentivise yourself to use the machine well. 01:22:38.594 --> 01:22:41.297 Sure, well it's good to do everything in life as well as what we can. 01:22:41.317 --> 01:22:44.860 Who knows what kind of sexy partner mate might be watching your scanning skills. 01:22:44.880 --> 01:22:47.342 Look at the way he's scanning those packets. 01:22:47.682 --> 01:22:49.424 He's got full control of his barcodes. 01:22:49.464 --> 01:22:50.405 That's it, that's a gay man. 01:22:51.386 --> 01:22:51.546 What? 01:22:51.566 --> 01:22:54.549 Because it's a man watching another man doing the checking. 01:22:54.589 --> 01:22:54.930 Right, right. 01:22:54.950 --> 01:22:55.891 He's impressed by the barcodes. 01:22:55.951 --> 01:22:56.151 Yeah. 01:22:56.311 --> 01:22:56.531 Yeah. 01:22:56.812 --> 01:22:57.793 And he talks like that. 01:22:57.993 --> 01:22:59.835 Imagine what he could do with my barcodes. 01:23:00.596 --> 01:23:02.678 Imagine what he could scan with a technique like that. 01:23:04.600 --> 01:23:06.542 Unexpected item in the bagging area. 01:23:09.335 --> 01:23:11.336 Here's another one from Doris Wu. 01:23:12.497 --> 01:23:17.260 And Doris says... James is not looking happy. 01:23:18.301 --> 01:23:19.141 What's wrong with that? 01:23:19.201 --> 01:23:19.882 It's fine. 01:23:20.162 --> 01:23:20.502 Everyone. 01:23:20.782 --> 01:23:21.623 That happens to everyone. 01:23:21.643 --> 01:23:22.223 Crunch and roll. 01:23:27.320 --> 01:23:38.162 Doris says on another point, my technology gripe, I've gotten these, oh no, text to speech on your landline phone, text to speech on a landline phone. 01:23:38.522 --> 01:23:49.204 I've got these from friends who send out mass SMX texts, complete with text speech, but it gets transcribed to my landline by a robot whose first language is clearly not English. 01:23:49.525 --> 01:23:53.705 Listening to these is as fun and painful as reading a poorly translated manual. 01:23:53.865 --> 01:23:56.766 The first time I ever got one of those, it freaked me out. 01:23:56.886 --> 01:23:57.766 I didn't know what it was. 01:24:07.011 --> 01:24:08.212 It was really scary. 01:24:08.792 --> 01:24:10.313 It wasn't exactly Stephen Hawking. 01:24:10.353 --> 01:24:13.074 It happens automatically if you send a text to a landline number. 01:24:13.114 --> 01:24:14.495 Does it happen totally automatically? 01:24:14.515 --> 01:24:15.356 I think it does, yeah. 01:24:15.536 --> 01:24:16.536 It's quite cool, isn't it? 01:24:16.596 --> 01:24:17.717 Are there cool uses for that? 01:24:17.757 --> 01:24:18.297 There must be. 01:24:18.637 --> 01:24:20.578 There must be people who just do that for fun. 01:24:20.598 --> 01:24:21.799 Surely there must be. 01:24:25.643 --> 01:24:26.644 I don't know what I'm going to do with it. 01:24:26.664 --> 01:24:30.125 That's a lot you can do with it. 01:24:30.145 --> 01:24:32.826 Unidentified item in the bag. 01:24:34.927 --> 01:24:40.409 You have to be quite calm to do it because you have to reduce, you have to reduce the, no I can't, I can't do it anymore. 01:24:40.429 --> 01:24:41.949 It's nearly Pierce Brosnan isn't it? 01:24:43.550 --> 01:24:45.951 My name is Bond, James Bond. 01:24:45.971 --> 01:24:47.771 Unidentified item. 01:24:48.272 --> 01:24:49.572 Unidentified item in the bagging area. 01:24:49.592 --> 01:24:49.952 It's gone wrong. 01:24:52.573 --> 01:24:54.094 Listen, this is Adam and Joel on BBC6 Music. 01:24:54.134 --> 01:24:55.114 It's too soon for the news. 01:24:55.735 --> 01:24:56.655 No, it's time for the news. 01:24:56.715 --> 01:24:57.635 You're sliding to the news. 01:24:57.755 --> 01:25:00.457 Come on, let's... no, let's... I like it when we fill and it's exactly 12.30. 01:25:01.837 --> 01:25:05.599 You got 15 seconds and no hesitation. 01:25:05.639 --> 01:25:06.199 Well listen, 15 seconds. 01:25:06.419 --> 01:25:07.060 And your time starts now. 01:25:07.500 --> 01:25:13.082 It is now time on 6 Music for... You would not do very well on Just A Minute for the news. 01:25:13.923 --> 01:25:14.303 Here it is. 01:25:15.363 --> 01:25:18.585 That's Black Street and Dr. Dre with no diggity. 01:25:18.925 --> 01:25:23.388 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music, your number one stop for hip-hop. 01:25:25.689 --> 01:25:26.209 Is it? 01:25:26.410 --> 01:25:26.630 Yeah. 01:25:27.290 --> 01:25:28.491 It's where all the hip-hop fans come. 01:25:28.671 --> 01:25:31.232 And we're going to do our super new segment now, as promised earlier. 01:25:31.352 --> 01:25:31.633 Are we? 01:25:31.953 --> 01:25:38.296 Yeah, we're going to do a special new segment designed for your stories about travelling on trains and public transport. 01:25:38.316 --> 01:25:44.080 Yeah, so we unveiled the train jingle earlier, which we described, or Joe described, as like being shot in the face with fun. 01:25:44.981 --> 01:25:45.522 Here it is again. 01:25:56.638 --> 01:25:59.761 Here is an email that came in from Sam and this is about a game. 01:26:00.221 --> 01:26:06.267 Now this email came in before we introduced our new law of declaring your gender with your name. 01:26:06.367 --> 01:26:10.331 So Sam is going to remain gender ambiguous. 01:26:10.751 --> 01:26:11.252 Bendy Sam. 01:26:11.852 --> 01:26:15.416 Dear Adam and Joe, I could relate strongly to the train stories that were told on the show. 01:26:15.516 --> 01:26:18.479 I've invented a little game to amuse myself on my journey to work. 01:26:19.859 --> 01:26:20.460 Excuse me. 01:26:21.020 --> 01:26:27.803 It all stems from the fact that some commuters want to take up as many seats as possible and they certainly don't want anyone to sit next to them. 01:26:27.963 --> 01:26:28.283 Guilty. 01:26:28.883 --> 01:26:33.045 Through my research I've found three major styles of seat blockage. 01:26:33.345 --> 01:26:35.946 These are number one, the classic bag on seat. 01:26:37.007 --> 01:26:41.229 Number two, the sit in the aisle seat with the window seat empty. 01:26:41.369 --> 01:26:41.529 Tick. 01:26:42.269 --> 01:27:00.030 number three the large bag on the floor in front of the empty seat as mentioned by Adam in last week's show that would be the week before last or something yeah yeah so they're all ways to try and block and obstruct and put off people from sitting beside you I would like to make it clear though before I go any further excuse me I've got some um Sklunge 01:27:01.279 --> 01:27:18.454 That when I do that technique if anyone does want the seat and I will immediately remove my bags Extremely fast extremely, but the thing is that I've got so many bags when I travel like I've got all my bike bags So I'd make a big mountain and I make it as off-putting as I your nightmare 01:27:19.795 --> 01:27:28.643 Sam then goes on to say, note, all of these techniques can be enhanced by the quotes, fake sleep, a very powerful tool in the seat blockers arsenal. 01:27:28.723 --> 01:27:29.363 Done it many times. 01:27:29.503 --> 01:27:31.085 They can also be used in combination. 01:27:31.345 --> 01:27:33.206 Now the aim of my train game is simple. 01:27:36.569 --> 01:27:37.050 Wait a second. 01:27:37.070 --> 01:27:37.610 Not that simple. 01:27:40.312 --> 01:27:41.654 The aim of my game is simple. 01:27:41.934 --> 01:27:44.056 The aim is to sit in a blocked seat. 01:27:45.037 --> 01:27:51.983 I'm not so petty as to play this game when the train is almost empty, but if there are only single seats available, I will endeavor to sit in a blocked seat. 01:27:52.363 --> 01:27:58.989 The most satisfying situation is when I ask someone to move their bag off the seat, but the seat across the aisle is free. 01:28:00.191 --> 01:28:01.973 The confusion on their faces is priceless. 01:28:02.414 --> 01:28:03.475 And there's a free seat over there. 01:28:03.675 --> 01:28:05.057 Why is he making me move my bag? 01:28:05.397 --> 01:28:11.425 My simple answer to them is that they are selfish, selfish people that need to be punished and the punishment is me sitting next to them for 20 minutes. 01:28:12.066 --> 01:28:12.547 Sam's a man. 01:28:12.587 --> 01:28:13.027 There you go. 01:28:13.388 --> 01:28:13.808 Sam. 01:28:14.029 --> 01:28:15.270 I also play this game on buses. 01:28:15.490 --> 01:28:16.131 Now that's pretty cool. 01:28:16.812 --> 01:28:17.292 Don't you think? 01:28:17.453 --> 01:28:18.213 He's the fun ruiner. 01:28:18.613 --> 01:28:19.634 No, no, he's the fun maker. 01:28:19.674 --> 01:28:24.838 He's taking a potentially difficult situation and turning it into a fun, fun, fun, fun, fun game for himself. 01:28:26.039 --> 01:28:28.460 Yeah, but then you don't... You're the opponent in this game. 01:28:28.520 --> 01:28:30.121 I'm separated then from my bags. 01:28:30.782 --> 01:28:32.463 Yeah, but you've got Sam next to you. 01:28:33.043 --> 01:28:39.188 So I wonder how Sam deals with a very insistent... because sometimes I would go... Actually, I've never done it, but I always think it. 01:28:40.278 --> 01:28:41.659 Why don't you just sit over there? 01:28:42.579 --> 01:28:44.239 Look, there's a spare seat right there. 01:28:44.519 --> 01:28:46.040 Look there sit there. 01:28:46.080 --> 01:28:47.900 Would you and how would he respond to that? 01:28:48.021 --> 01:28:50.261 No, I want to sit there where your bags are. 01:28:50.341 --> 01:28:51.262 Yeah, that's what he'd do. 01:28:51.522 --> 01:29:01.925 No, no No, I say again if any if it's busy and if anyone is hovering at all Expectantly or looking around for a seat whether there's one free elsewhere or not. 01:29:02.085 --> 01:29:02.585 I will remove 01:29:02.605 --> 01:29:03.966 You're the exception, you're doing the right thing. 01:29:04.026 --> 01:29:04.866 Not many people do that. 01:29:05.186 --> 01:29:09.488 But no, but I do admit certainly to all those techniques that he mentioned. 01:29:10.108 --> 01:29:14.670 The fake sleep and the... That's the perfect email though for our new transport section. 01:29:14.710 --> 01:29:14.890 Yeah. 01:29:14.990 --> 01:29:15.590 Wouldn't you say? 01:29:15.750 --> 01:29:16.210 Absolutely. 01:29:16.270 --> 01:29:16.951 Have you got one there? 01:29:17.811 --> 01:29:43.721 yes it's a it's a little on the long side please try and keep your communications as concise as you possibly can but this one was funny it certainly reminded me of a situation i've been in a lot richard from st alban's he writes a couple of months ago i boarded a virgin train from birmingham to london sitting down at one of the nice window seats facing onto a table love them i got out my book settled in for a nice read initially i had the four seats all to myself 01:29:44.181 --> 01:29:52.086 but at Coventry a family got on consisting of a mother, a young daughter, and two teenage sons around 13 to 15 years old. 01:29:52.466 --> 01:29:53.587 Ooh, the heart's sinking. 01:29:54.007 --> 01:29:59.951 The two boys sat opposite me at the table, annoying me already, while the mum sat across the aisle from them. 01:30:00.271 --> 01:30:07.195 For the next twenty minutes or so, the kid sat directly opposite me, rolled his eyes and head, made strange 01:30:07.575 --> 01:30:15.238 quiet farting noises under his breath, hummed tunelessly, shuffled around in his seat and basically annoyed the hell out of me. 01:30:15.598 --> 01:30:16.578 I thought, what the heck? 01:30:16.739 --> 01:30:17.919 I'm a 34 year old man. 01:30:18.119 --> 01:30:18.919 I paid for this seat. 01:30:19.179 --> 01:30:22.801 I'm not going to put up with this aggravation the whole journey just for the sake of politeness. 01:30:23.061 --> 01:30:26.262 So I got up and I moved to a spare seat behind my original one. 01:30:26.502 --> 01:30:27.062 No problem. 01:30:27.443 --> 01:30:33.565 The mother immediately stopped what she was doing and loudly asked her son, Anthony, what did you do to that man? 01:30:34.085 --> 01:30:40.771 There followed a good minute of heated exchange between mum and son, while I stared out of the window pretending I was unaware of the conversation. 01:30:41.051 --> 01:30:45.635 Eventually the boy's claims of innocence must have convinced his mum, and the focus shifted to me. 01:30:46.115 --> 01:30:50.719 Excuse me, said the mum's voice, quite angrily, obviously directed at me. 01:30:51.059 --> 01:30:52.381 Why did you move seats? 01:30:53.576 --> 01:30:58.818 I realized afterwards I should have said that I wanted more leg room, which would have been plausible and defensible. 01:30:59.158 --> 01:31:03.140 Instead, I said, oh, nothing major, just that your son was annoying me. 01:31:03.420 --> 01:31:05.661 I have a very low annoyance threshold. 01:31:07.332 --> 01:31:08.052 What the heck were you thinking? 01:31:08.072 --> 01:31:08.532 The truth-tact-ting. 01:31:08.792 --> 01:31:09.713 The truth-tact-ting. 01:31:09.973 --> 01:31:11.573 The mum...tact-ting? 01:31:12.033 --> 01:31:22.256 The mum stared blankly at me, then tutted loudly, shook her head in an I-don't-know-some-people sort of way and fell silent, had to endure the rest of the journey feeling about the size of an ant trying not to catch the mum's eye. 01:31:23.176 --> 01:31:25.697 So, um, that's pretty hardcore. 01:31:26.437 --> 01:31:27.358 It's very brave and bold. 01:31:27.798 --> 01:31:28.938 I said it was from the wrong person. 01:31:28.958 --> 01:31:30.699 That was from Will in London, I think. 01:31:30.880 --> 01:31:31.460 No, no, no, it wasn't. 01:31:31.500 --> 01:31:32.040 I'm getting my name. 01:31:32.100 --> 01:31:33.801 I know you're getting panicked. 01:31:34.021 --> 01:31:35.522 The name went onto a different piece of paper. 01:31:35.762 --> 01:31:38.504 But yeah, I've been in that situation and you think... It's from Chris Tapp. 01:31:39.024 --> 01:31:39.464 Chris Tapp. 01:31:39.524 --> 01:31:44.667 And you think, oh no, I can't, I can't move because it'll be too obvious that I'm moving away from the annoying person. 01:31:44.687 --> 01:31:47.729 But then you have to balance it up with like, well, that's your tough for being annoying. 01:31:47.749 --> 01:31:49.330 You've got every right to move, surely. 01:31:49.830 --> 01:31:52.952 But to be called on it, that's rare, I would say. 01:31:53.873 --> 01:31:55.153 What would you say in that situation? 01:31:55.514 --> 01:31:55.854 I'd say, 01:31:56.534 --> 01:31:59.796 Shut up and go away your son smells. 01:31:59.836 --> 01:32:20.528 That's why I'm moving and look at his face And I don't like under the breath farting noises It's a mysterious Sort of collection of things the child was doing rotating the head and the eyes and making silent I mean just try that for a second rotate the head and the eyes and make strange farting noises go It is annoying 01:32:22.209 --> 01:32:23.529 It's not that annoying yet. 01:32:23.610 --> 01:32:23.890 Keep doing it. 01:32:23.910 --> 01:32:25.490 That's my main contribution to this show. 01:32:25.730 --> 01:32:26.530 What else was he doing? 01:32:26.650 --> 01:32:26.910 Hang on. 01:32:27.191 --> 01:32:28.071 Let's look at the list. 01:32:29.291 --> 01:32:34.853 Quiet farting noises under his breath, hummed tunelessly and shuffled around in his seat. 01:32:34.893 --> 01:32:40.674 Okay, so basically I want you to roll your eyes and your head, strange quiet farting noises, humming tunelessly and shuffle around. 01:32:46.516 --> 01:32:48.276 I want you on all my train journeys. 01:32:49.837 --> 01:32:50.397 You're wicked. 01:32:52.559 --> 01:32:56.863 Now we're going to talk about Song Wars after this next track because we have to commit ourselves. 01:32:56.903 --> 01:32:58.844 We have to figure out if we're going to do this thing or not. 01:32:58.924 --> 01:33:02.828 It's four weeks into the show in 2011, still no Song Wars. 01:33:02.988 --> 01:33:04.830 Let's talk about it after the Arctic Monkeys. 01:33:06.067 --> 01:33:09.150 Yes, that was the Arctic Monkeys, was it? 01:33:09.670 --> 01:33:11.532 It didn't sound exactly like the monkeys. 01:33:12.113 --> 01:33:16.316 You know, they're just changing their sound willy-nilly there, as if they could do whatever they wanted. 01:33:16.376 --> 01:33:17.077 But listen, who cares? 01:33:17.097 --> 01:33:24.724 Because waiting in the antechamber through the whole show with an enormous retinue of security guards and bodyguards. 01:33:24.784 --> 01:33:27.326 It's been an enormous palaver here this morning at the castle. 01:33:27.867 --> 01:33:30.709 We're very honored to welcome into the studio the Queen. 01:33:32.110 --> 01:33:43.300 Laura, Laura, blind of death... Now your majesty, there's a big event coming up next week, isn't there? 01:33:43.580 --> 01:33:47.984 Oh, blind of death... Laura, Laura, Laura, blind of death... 01:33:53.669 --> 01:33:54.690 There's a wedding, isn't there? 01:33:54.730 --> 01:33:56.010 It's a nice wedding. 01:33:56.231 --> 01:33:58.172 Look, look, lolly, lolly. 01:33:58.192 --> 01:33:59.492 Katie. 01:33:59.512 --> 01:34:04.736 What are you going to get the royal couple for their wedding present? 01:34:04.816 --> 01:34:06.357 I heard you might be getting them some bedding. 01:34:06.637 --> 01:34:09.999 A lolly, lolly, lolly bit of bedding. 01:34:10.059 --> 01:34:10.459 What? 01:34:11.380 --> 01:34:12.100 For the wedding. 01:34:12.420 --> 01:34:13.501 Wedding bedding. 01:34:13.521 --> 01:34:17.723 That's a nice couple of lolly people getting married. 01:34:18.063 --> 01:34:20.165 Katie, Willie getting married. 01:34:20.205 --> 01:34:22.046 Got some wedding bedding, Laura, Laura. 01:34:26.377 --> 01:34:32.099 And I hear they're... And I got a loli loli finio kopo in the toaster. 01:34:32.139 --> 01:34:34.240 Maison face on the toaster. 01:34:34.320 --> 01:34:37.482 Willy and Katie on the toaster, loli kopo. 01:34:38.262 --> 01:34:39.502 That's good, good news. 01:34:39.602 --> 01:34:46.285 And I got a play loli play with the face on the play for the Willy and the Katie. 01:34:46.845 --> 01:34:48.286 And the Katie face on the play. 01:34:48.846 --> 01:34:50.827 I'm not gonna give it to us. 01:34:50.867 --> 01:34:53.048 There's a lovely couple of blinded data. 01:34:53.248 --> 01:34:58.090 Are you upset that the royal couple didn't actually meet on an episode of blinded data? 01:34:58.391 --> 01:34:59.431 A little, little bit. 01:34:59.691 --> 01:35:01.632 What kind of... Are you a priest? 01:35:01.672 --> 01:35:03.193 What kind of priest were you, boy? 01:35:03.213 --> 01:35:09.136 A lovely couple, it would have been nice, but you can't have everything of blinded data. 01:35:09.196 --> 01:35:11.437 You seem a little bit angry, your highness. 01:35:11.517 --> 01:35:12.017 No. 01:35:12.117 --> 01:35:13.918 Are you tense? 01:35:13.978 --> 01:35:16.219 No, I'm a be, I'm a be, lovely couple. 01:35:17.165 --> 01:35:17.585 You were right. 01:35:17.605 --> 01:35:18.186 I'm happy! 01:35:18.326 --> 01:35:19.187 Do you need to go? 01:35:19.287 --> 01:35:21.168 No, no, go, go. 01:35:22.129 --> 01:35:25.751 We kept you waiting too long, didn't we? 01:35:26.452 --> 01:35:27.192 There she goes. 01:35:27.833 --> 01:35:33.016 Wow, that was an interview with the Queen, a slightly irritable Queen, but then it is a very tense Queen. 01:35:33.036 --> 01:35:33.877 She's got a lot on her plate. 01:35:33.897 --> 01:35:36.479 She's got a lot on her collectible plate. 01:35:36.859 --> 01:35:42.083 A lot of it's coming off onto the food and it's got lead poisoning. 01:35:42.443 --> 01:35:43.924 Of the wedding, right? 01:35:44.104 --> 01:35:44.224 And 01:35:45.325 --> 01:35:48.247 Do you get the feeling they're downplaying the wedding somewhat? 01:35:48.308 --> 01:35:49.889 It's not a lot of fever, is there? 01:35:49.929 --> 01:35:50.729 Wedding fever. 01:35:50.769 --> 01:35:53.852 Maybe I'm not reading the right periodicals or watching the right show. 01:35:53.872 --> 01:35:55.814 I think it's so tricky for the royal family. 01:35:55.894 --> 01:35:57.135 They have to tread carefully. 01:35:57.155 --> 01:35:58.496 It's not tricky for our family. 01:35:58.516 --> 01:35:59.296 So tricky. 01:35:59.637 --> 01:36:06.842 But they're walking the tightrope of public opinion the whole time and they don't want to ram these celebrations down, you know, people's throats. 01:36:06.942 --> 01:36:10.145 I did cycle through, I cycled past Westminster Abbey yesterday. 01:36:10.145 --> 01:36:10.445 today. 01:36:10.705 --> 01:36:13.526 And there's an enormous changes going on there. 01:36:13.626 --> 01:36:22.789 Massive sort of stands being built and huge press pens and they're searching through all the drains and the lampposts, checking for noughties. 01:36:23.129 --> 01:36:27.611 Norton, yeah, illegal cakes, clementines being smuggled through as satsumas, that kind of thing. 01:36:27.851 --> 01:36:34.433 We thought that we would add to the festive fun by composing a little Song Wars 01:36:35.413 --> 01:36:38.035 A mini Song Wars thing, just to break ourselves back in. 01:36:38.216 --> 01:36:40.397 You know, and so don't expect too much listeners. 01:36:40.457 --> 01:36:41.698 Mine's going to be very very slapdash. 01:36:41.718 --> 01:36:43.960 It could be very short, almost like a jingle maybe. 01:36:44.080 --> 01:36:45.862 I only have Easter Sunday and Monday to do it. 01:36:46.022 --> 01:36:46.202 Right. 01:36:46.262 --> 01:36:47.443 And that's special holiday time. 01:36:47.483 --> 01:36:48.364 Special holiday time. 01:36:48.384 --> 01:36:49.765 I'm going to be lazy. 01:36:50.426 --> 01:36:53.488 So it might be kind of a karaoke thing but we are going to get back into Song Wars. 01:36:53.749 --> 01:36:55.990 One way or another you're going to hear that Song Wars jingle next week. 01:36:56.010 --> 01:36:57.372 A Royal Wedding Song Wars. 01:36:57.392 --> 01:37:00.554 And it's going to be a Royal Kate and Willie Song Wars coming your way. 01:37:00.574 --> 01:37:01.575 So that's something to look forward to. 01:37:01.595 --> 01:37:03.337 That's a very fresh subject, isn't it? 01:37:03.917 --> 01:37:28.765 yeah it's topical it's topical they're always the most fun ones and i think you know it really gets people talking it really gets people united and that's what this show's all about laura blinder data now you've got a um i've got a free play this is brand newbie and they're a hip-hop band from the past this has got a lovely sample from royers is uh you know um what's it called his sunshine one everybody loves the sunshine yeah but with some very good rapping on top this is called wake up 01:37:29.707 --> 01:37:35.011 Brand Nubian with Wake Up, Bracket's reprise in the sunshine, this is Adam and Joe on BBC6 music. 01:37:35.732 --> 01:37:37.153 It's nearly time for us to go away. 01:37:37.173 --> 01:37:38.314 Wow. 01:37:38.874 --> 01:37:44.999 Some of you may be relieved, some of you may be sad, some of you may be indifferent, but it's Liz Kershaw coming up next, I mean about us, not about Liz Kershaw. 01:37:45.019 --> 01:37:46.480 Everyone's going to be excited about the Kershaw. 01:37:46.500 --> 01:37:46.720 Sure. 01:37:47.280 --> 01:37:48.081 Who's she got on her show? 01:37:48.101 --> 01:37:48.601 Has she got anyone? 01:37:48.641 --> 01:37:51.404 Because she's got like big guests all the time, doesn't she, Kershaw? 01:37:52.304 --> 01:37:53.105 Who's she got this week? 01:37:55.790 --> 01:37:56.770 She'd never get Roger Moore. 01:37:56.790 --> 01:37:58.851 She hasn't got the Queen though has she? 01:37:59.011 --> 01:37:59.731 Or Roger Moore. 01:37:59.831 --> 01:38:03.212 Thank you so much for listening everybody and thanks for sending in all your texts and emails. 01:38:03.252 --> 01:38:11.594 Don't forget if you want to respond to Text the Nation there'll be retro Text the Nation in the show next week that will be going out live from 10am to 1pm here on BBC6 Music. 01:38:11.995 --> 01:38:22.758 You can listen again to this week's show via the iPlayer or you can download the podcast which has all the good bits in it only and new bits at the beginning and end. 01:38:23.138 --> 01:38:23.879 Yeah, and in the middle. 01:38:24.179 --> 01:38:24.779 And in the middle. 01:38:25.540 --> 01:38:30.784 And we got an upset message from someone saying, oh, it's all about Black Squadron. 01:38:31.004 --> 01:38:32.365 What about the people who listen to the podcast? 01:38:32.686 --> 01:38:34.067 I mean, that's old news. 01:38:34.127 --> 01:38:35.087 I don't know how you missed that. 01:38:35.147 --> 01:38:40.652 But there is PodSquad and they are a special... I've got a letter about that I'll be reading out in the podcast. 01:38:40.792 --> 01:38:41.192 OK. 01:38:41.232 --> 01:38:41.452 Yeah. 01:38:41.713 --> 01:38:46.436 So, yeah, you can download that tonight, I think maybe, or it might be tomorrow, but you can check it out tonight. 01:38:46.556 --> 01:38:47.197 Thanks for listening. 01:38:47.237 --> 01:38:47.797 Happy Easter. 01:38:47.817 --> 01:38:48.678 Have a great weekend. 01:38:48.918 --> 01:38:49.439 Lots of love. 01:38:49.479 --> 01:38:49.819 I love you. 01:38:49.859 --> 01:38:49.959 Bye!