WEBVTT 00:07.210 --> 00:18.840 There'll be some music and some random talking in between And then eventually the whole thing will just end Black Squadron! 00:18.860 --> 00:26.186 Always catch the beginning of the show Black Squadron don't want to miss a thing That's not the way Black Squadron runs 00:29.747 --> 00:32.009 Went to bed at a reasonable hour. 00:32.209 --> 00:34.811 Gotta be sharp on Saturday morning. 00:35.151 --> 00:38.614 That's the secret of the Squadron's power. 00:41.036 --> 00:43.338 Good morning Squadron, stand to attention. 00:43.718 --> 00:47.981 You're being addressed by Camp Commander Doctor Buckles. 00:48.562 --> 00:49.803 And Commander Cornballs. 00:50.083 --> 00:52.585 I just added the... Camp Commander. 00:52.645 --> 00:53.486 Camp Commander. 00:54.286 --> 00:56.188 Yeah, I'm like a kind of effeminate commander. 00:56.488 --> 00:59.611 We're going in at the deep end, straight in with Black Squadron at the top of the show. 00:59.791 --> 01:01.952 Yeah, I think it's good, you know, keep them on their toes. 01:02.473 --> 01:03.053 Go hardcore. 01:03.233 --> 01:03.794 Exactly. 01:04.895 --> 01:06.476 They know what to do, right, Black Squadron? 01:06.796 --> 01:18.926 Yes, Squadron, you have to listen to Commander Cornball's command for you, and then take a photograph of yourself enacting that command, and then send it in to the following email address. 01:19.346 --> 01:21.348 adamandjoe.6musicatpbc.co.uk 01:23.149 --> 01:29.732 And what do people do if they don't want to take part in the command and have opted out of black squadrons since they don't believe in squadrons? 01:30.572 --> 01:32.233 There's no volition here. 01:32.433 --> 01:35.535 Like pacifists, people who are maybe part of a ponstron. 01:35.775 --> 01:37.615 It's like conscription, you have to do it. 01:37.635 --> 01:38.056 Do you? 01:38.236 --> 01:38.476 Yeah. 01:38.956 --> 01:39.477 Flipping hectic. 01:39.517 --> 01:43.861 What would happen if you refused to be conscripted when conscription was around the place? 01:43.901 --> 01:45.002 You'd be arrested, would you? 01:45.302 --> 01:46.904 You'd be arrested and thrown in prize on? 01:47.684 --> 01:48.025 Really? 01:48.065 --> 01:48.905 Into prize on, yes. 01:48.965 --> 01:51.208 Unless you had a jolly good reason for not wanting to be conscripted. 01:51.228 --> 01:52.529 What would be a jolly good reason? 01:52.969 --> 01:55.231 Well, in them days, if you were a homosexualist. 01:55.612 --> 01:55.892 Really? 01:56.172 --> 01:57.754 Or if you were mentally unstable. 01:57.914 --> 01:58.194 Right. 01:58.454 --> 02:01.878 Which is, which is, er, fairly, both things are fairly common. 02:02.478 --> 02:03.159 Well, exactly. 02:03.659 --> 02:03.979 Exactly. 02:04.039 --> 02:07.682 I mean, both of those I would have gone for immediately in them days. 02:07.902 --> 02:08.223 Yes. 02:09.123 --> 02:10.064 Yeah, let's not get into that. 02:10.404 --> 02:14.748 Anyway, yeah, the email address adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk. 02:15.088 --> 02:17.410 Here's the command, and we're being ruthless here. 02:17.530 --> 02:19.431 I rested the command on my electronic keyboard. 02:19.591 --> 02:22.113 Joe's going to be freestyling right the way through the show this week. 02:22.133 --> 02:24.015 Do a little freestyle jingle, fingers cornish. 02:25.660 --> 02:26.040 There you go. 02:26.080 --> 02:27.241 That's a taste of things to come. 02:28.562 --> 02:29.703 A frightening taste of things to come. 02:30.003 --> 02:31.304 Here is the Black Squadron command. 02:31.364 --> 02:31.925 Stand by. 02:31.985 --> 02:34.567 This week's command is fake facial hair. 02:36.036 --> 02:36.616 It's beer. 02:37.537 --> 02:38.837 With Venus as a boy. 02:38.857 --> 02:41.338 That's featured in the film Leon, right? 02:42.138 --> 02:42.998 Leon the pig farmer. 02:43.038 --> 02:44.119 Yeah, Leon the pig farmer. 02:44.659 --> 02:47.160 Big West End stage production now of that. 02:47.240 --> 02:48.220 That's a confusing link. 02:48.540 --> 02:49.240 It is, isn't it? 02:49.801 --> 02:50.921 Even I was confused by it. 02:51.881 --> 02:52.581 What are you talking about? 02:52.601 --> 02:53.262 Leon's sequiturs. 02:53.722 --> 02:56.403 Leon the film about the assassin man, you mean? 02:56.423 --> 02:57.903 Yes, starring Natalie Portable Man. 02:58.523 --> 03:02.105 And then you segued into Leon the pig farmer of the 80s? 03:02.165 --> 03:03.205 British Brit film comedy? 03:03.385 --> 03:27.232 yeah there we go yeah which is now on stage is it really yeah so there we go oh no no a private function i'm thinking about another pig-based thing big bass it's a triple segue hey listen this is adam and joe here on bbc6 music uh happy saturday morning thanks for listening and thank you especially to the black squadron members who we pushed in at the deep end this morning straight in there with a powerful commander disguise based command it's very important as a squadron member 03:27.612 --> 03:30.052 that you're able to protect your identity very quickly. 03:30.473 --> 03:37.634 For instance, if you've done a killing and you need to blend into the crowd, then you need to get some facial hair going quickly. 03:38.094 --> 03:40.914 Like the assassin man, Carlos the Jackal. 03:40.974 --> 03:41.455 Exactly. 03:41.695 --> 03:47.736 And you need to be able to do it very quickly from whatever condiments or accoutrements you find within arm's reach. 03:48.696 --> 03:52.657 So, you know, we hope you've reacted quickly to this command back to Boston, and many of you have. 03:52.877 --> 03:54.677 You're, um, right. 03:55.097 --> 03:56.918 Do you think any of Black Squadron have done a killing? 03:57.198 --> 04:01.240 Well, their future orders might involve... Killing people? 04:01.420 --> 04:02.681 Not necessarily people. 04:02.701 --> 04:04.121 Is that a fun Saturday morning thing? 04:04.141 --> 04:05.002 I can't believe you said that. 04:05.882 --> 04:06.662 They're a squadron. 04:06.702 --> 04:07.703 What do squadrons do? 04:07.943 --> 04:09.003 Why do they always kill people? 04:09.063 --> 04:12.065 I'm not saying it's morally right, but sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do. 04:12.085 --> 04:14.486 But they're a squadron for a radio program. 04:14.566 --> 04:17.647 Yeah, but it's... It's not a game. 04:17.667 --> 04:18.688 Is it? 04:19.348 --> 04:19.568 No? 04:19.588 --> 04:19.628 No? 04:19.908 --> 04:23.350 I mean, listen, we established last week in the podcast that they are not a ponstron. 04:23.630 --> 04:29.437 I don't think the Black Squadron would be interested in being in Black Squadron if it wasn't a pretty hardcore arrangement. 04:29.537 --> 04:31.139 So you think it's like being in the army? 04:31.499 --> 04:34.162 Like, you can go in the army and you can learn all kinds of important skills. 04:34.182 --> 04:35.163 It's harder than being in the army. 04:35.243 --> 04:35.824 It's tougher. 04:35.884 --> 04:38.587 Somewhere in the back of your mind you have to be prepared to kill. 04:38.687 --> 04:38.907 Yes! 04:39.888 --> 04:43.032 Yes What do you think's going on in the world? 04:43.233 --> 04:44.134 Yeah, I don't know. 04:44.174 --> 04:49.601 I didn't realize anyway Thank you for all your entries black squadron some brilliant responses. 04:49.661 --> 04:54.387 We'll be being specific about that in a moment Mm-hmm 04:55.748 --> 04:57.169 Play another jingle on your guitar. 04:57.349 --> 04:59.031 On your guitar? 04:59.932 --> 05:00.652 It's not a guitar. 05:00.692 --> 05:01.273 What is it then? 05:01.293 --> 05:05.737 I can't really play anything on my... Listen, I'll work on something for later in the show, some live jingles. 05:06.578 --> 05:15.206 And talking of fake facial hair, we had the most wonderful photo in from a chap called Phil Graham, who has put this incredible hat on his child. 05:15.246 --> 05:16.267 Can you describe that, Adam? 05:16.907 --> 05:22.754 It is a woolen beanie hat that also has a beard attachment. 05:23.215 --> 05:32.025 So the top of the beanie, you know, the hat part is white and cream coloured, but then there's a little woolen beardy part that comes down. 05:32.045 --> 05:32.425 A knitted beard? 05:32.445 --> 05:32.605 Yeah. 05:33.166 --> 05:34.927 and it fits beautifully over the child's face. 05:34.947 --> 05:43.930 It's like a sort of giant chin strap that goes all the way up the chin and all the way across the top lip, but it transforms the child into Count Buckley almost instantaneously. 05:44.030 --> 05:45.890 Yeah, he looks like Captain Birdseye. 05:45.950 --> 05:46.610 Fantastic thing. 05:46.630 --> 05:49.671 I wonder whether that's homemade or whether it's commercially available. 05:49.811 --> 05:50.832 Is that on our blog, James? 05:51.152 --> 05:52.312 We're going to put it on our blog. 05:52.812 --> 05:57.314 We might not be able to tell you precisely what the provenance of the hat is for BBC reasons. 05:57.714 --> 05:58.654 We'll put an image of it. 05:58.714 --> 06:00.254 Anyway, thank you very much, Phil Graham. 06:00.294 --> 06:01.235 That was wonderful. 06:01.635 --> 06:03.095 We got a nice message this week. 06:04.275 --> 06:08.676 It said, I was so excited when I heard that you guys were returning to our precious radio. 06:09.016 --> 06:12.216 This is the only radio show that I actually have a genuine interest in. 06:12.637 --> 06:15.937 It's hard to find one that's interesting but uncheesy at the same time. 06:16.257 --> 06:17.117 Never leave us again. 06:17.597 --> 06:20.778 Love, Amber, 12, in Amell Hempstead. 06:20.958 --> 06:21.638 Got very good taste. 06:21.858 --> 06:22.978 Yeah, that's excellent. 06:23.038 --> 06:26.959 For a 12-year-old, I thought that was very mature, intelligently written email. 06:27.899 --> 06:29.280 and there's a smiley at the end. 06:29.660 --> 06:30.040 Oh dear. 06:30.700 --> 06:30.780 Oh. 06:31.320 --> 06:34.081 Well the smiley's more the sort of thing a 12 year old would write. 06:34.101 --> 06:41.644 Well it's nice but incidentally you know thanks for all your messages that come in to us during the week and what's the automatic reply that they get? 06:41.704 --> 06:43.885 It's something like you know we get a huge volume of emails. 06:43.905 --> 06:44.925 Well that's new isn't it? 06:45.145 --> 06:45.726 We can't reply to everyone. 06:45.766 --> 06:49.267 I was thinking that during the week because when I was a kid and I wrote into Blue Peter. 06:49.327 --> 06:49.527 Yeah. 06:49.947 --> 06:51.708 I got a similar letter and I remember 06:52.128 --> 06:53.409 how heartbroken I was. 06:53.509 --> 06:55.371 Yes, it's a bit impersonal, isn't it? 06:55.391 --> 06:59.114 That the Blue Peter presenters weren't reading the letters personally. 06:59.895 --> 07:07.101 And it was the first thing in the world that told me that, you know, it wasn't necessarily a one to one direct relationship with the Blue Peter team. 07:07.321 --> 07:10.124 But that's an automated reply that is fired out. 07:10.284 --> 07:16.410 We want to assure you that both Joe and myself do read every single message that we get and appreciate every single one of them. 07:16.530 --> 07:17.171 That's true, isn't it? 07:17.431 --> 07:18.031 Yeah, it is true. 07:18.092 --> 07:18.992 I mean, it really is. 07:19.032 --> 07:20.714 We spend more... Exactly. 07:21.034 --> 07:21.935 We just plow through them. 07:22.195 --> 07:23.997 Right, now I've got a free play for you, listeners. 07:24.758 --> 07:30.484 And me and Joe are allowed to bring in three songs a week that we're gonna force on you. 07:31.104 --> 07:38.347 we don't have to okay them with a big British castle as long as they're not really racist and full of swearing then it's absolutely fine. 07:38.667 --> 07:50.893 So I'm going to play I would say quite a weird song right now by the band Deer Hoof and this features the vocal stylings of Satomi Matsuzaki. 07:51.213 --> 07:53.494 Now have you played Deer Hoof before on the show? 07:53.514 --> 07:55.175 Yeah, a couple of years back. 07:55.935 --> 07:57.917 And I really like Dear Hoof. 07:57.997 --> 07:59.738 I mean, they're a ridiculous sounding band. 07:59.758 --> 08:03.320 I've tried to hoist them on a few friends of mine without that much luck. 08:03.621 --> 08:21.253 Says on Wikipedia about Satomi, the vocalist, although she had no musical experience, Dear Hoof founder members Rob Fisk and Greg Saunier agreed that Satomi's impressive, sorry, inexpressive singing style added an element of humor and playfulness that had been lacking in Dear Hoof's sound. 08:23.014 --> 08:23.734 Anyway, see what you think. 08:23.754 --> 08:25.995 This is called Green Cosmos from 2005. 08:26.055 --> 08:33.778 Yeah, I mean it's no, uh, just can't get enough though, is it? 08:34.899 --> 08:36.900 That's Depeche Mode with John the Revelator. 08:37.260 --> 08:41.322 You can't really say things like that to Depeche Mode fans because they get very very touching. 08:41.362 --> 08:42.082 Very defensive. 08:42.302 --> 08:45.944 Yeah, they are the most loyal group of fans in the world. 08:46.144 --> 08:47.725 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music. 08:47.765 --> 08:55.692 Do you think if you had a big ruck, like instead of the Olympics, you had some sort of competition in which fans of bands were pitched against each other in physical and sporting challenges? 08:55.712 --> 08:58.174 I wouldn't like to go up against the moders. 08:58.515 --> 08:59.015 Really? 08:59.055 --> 08:59.295 Yeah. 08:59.555 --> 09:02.338 You think they'd be kings of the... They do call themselves something. 09:02.638 --> 09:04.740 Is it moders or they call themselves something special? 09:04.800 --> 09:07.402 If you're a moder or a modulist or a... The moderators. 09:07.442 --> 09:07.903 The moderators. 09:07.923 --> 09:09.604 They dress up in... Let us know what you're called. 09:09.624 --> 09:11.646 Yeah, in uniforms and moderate things. 09:11.966 --> 09:13.227 And they all talk like this. 09:14.248 --> 09:15.489 Actually, that's the pneumonoids. 09:16.330 --> 09:17.791 No, the pneumonoids talk like that. 09:18.592 --> 09:18.993 I don't know. 09:19.173 --> 09:21.094 The pneumonoids, I wouldn't be frightened of the pneumonoids. 09:21.315 --> 09:23.036 I'd be frightened of the modulers. 09:23.096 --> 09:24.357 They're getting on a bit, the pneumonoids. 09:24.598 --> 09:27.040 The AHA fans are quite militant. 09:27.100 --> 09:28.802 You've experienced their militancy. 09:30.203 --> 09:34.507 I very, very foolishly chose to take issue with AHA 09:34.987 --> 09:39.153 the three members of AHA touring independently, but together under the same bill. 09:39.333 --> 09:52.251 If this event did happen, this big fight between all of the fans to see who was the best, probably one of the younger bands with teeny bop fans would win, like Justin Bieber. 09:52.731 --> 09:53.031 Yes. 09:53.071 --> 10:02.953 Because the sheer weight of numbers and just the insanity of teenagers, young teenagers of that age, they would be like insane ants crawling all over you, you know? 10:03.013 --> 10:05.354 They'd easily overpower the moderators. 10:05.374 --> 10:07.614 They're a very frightening force for little teenage girls. 10:07.814 --> 10:08.214 Aren't they? 10:08.495 --> 10:08.695 Sure. 10:08.715 --> 10:09.495 I mean, they're flighty. 10:09.935 --> 10:11.875 They might not be present six months later. 10:12.255 --> 10:13.576 They evaporate and dissipate. 10:13.636 --> 10:14.636 They'll move on to the next sexy little man. 10:14.656 --> 10:16.076 But when they're present, they're terrifying. 10:16.496 --> 10:17.757 Move on to the next sexy little man. 10:19.857 --> 10:20.938 The next one that comes along. 10:21.058 --> 10:24.639 They're gonna have to wait a while before they find another sexy little man like Bieber though, aren't they? 10:25.560 --> 10:27.300 Well, yeah, he's one in the millions. 10:27.400 --> 10:28.941 He's one of the sexiest little men around. 10:29.401 --> 10:31.122 So listen, Black Squadron, well done. 10:31.162 --> 10:32.142 Have we stood them down yet? 10:32.643 --> 10:33.163 Not yet. 10:33.203 --> 10:33.663 Not yet. 10:33.683 --> 10:34.543 Stand by to be stood down. 10:34.563 --> 10:37.625 They've got a few more minutes, I think, to get their photos in. 10:37.845 --> 10:39.045 An extraordinary response. 10:39.105 --> 10:42.967 Let's describe some of the fake facial hair photos you have there, Dr. Cornish. 10:43.027 --> 10:45.008 Well... Marla Cornish, sorry, I'm Dr. Barnes. 10:45.208 --> 10:45.508 Please. 10:45.668 --> 10:50.131 There's a chap called Edward Iles. 10:50.371 --> 10:55.734 The printer doesn't distinguish between an L and an I. It's just a vertical line. 10:56.155 --> 11:00.998 And he's done the most brilliant thing, which is he's put some sort of a shoelace around the top of his head. 11:01.678 --> 11:04.660 And then he's hooked onto the shoelace a coat hanger. 11:04.700 --> 11:06.441 A big black plastic coat hanger. 11:06.582 --> 11:08.763 So that it hangs immediately beneath his nose. 11:08.883 --> 11:12.646 One of those big wide ones that you're supposed to use on nice jackets. 11:12.886 --> 11:16.889 Thus giving him an enormous Thompson Twins style moustache. 11:16.909 --> 11:19.571 Well he looks like a kind of crazy Freddie Mercury there, doesn't he? 11:19.591 --> 11:19.931 He's got the... 11:21.372 --> 11:22.453 But that's very practical. 11:22.533 --> 11:23.574 I mean, he did that fast. 11:24.035 --> 11:24.335 Very nice. 11:24.375 --> 11:25.236 And it's very effective. 11:25.276 --> 11:25.676 Well done. 11:26.036 --> 11:29.820 Another one we like a lot came in from Claire, Ben, Mark, Tash and Joe. 11:29.840 --> 11:30.841 Do you want to describe that? 11:30.941 --> 11:32.262 Well, they look like an indie band. 11:32.302 --> 11:35.865 They're all sat there expressionless with their hands on their knees. 11:37.727 --> 11:42.331 Let's see, Claire has tied some, what is it, pasta to her chin? 11:43.453 --> 11:52.263 Like strands of pasta and Tash has tied her long hair round her face, round the bottom of her face there. 11:52.844 --> 11:57.250 One of the other ladies, I'm not sure who is who, Joe, has got a waffle. 11:57.710 --> 11:59.412 What's the general mood of the photo? 11:59.492 --> 12:00.313 It's an interesting mood. 12:00.934 --> 12:01.995 Yeah, it's absolutely serious. 12:02.015 --> 12:05.918 And there's five of them in a row, shoulder to shoulder, all with their hands on a table or their laps. 12:06.258 --> 12:06.779 On their knees. 12:06.879 --> 12:07.479 On their knees. 12:07.599 --> 12:07.840 Yeah. 12:08.100 --> 12:11.422 One of the chaps has got a ball of wool hung off his face. 12:11.683 --> 12:18.828 Yeah, I mean, it could be the cover of a brilliant indie album, or it could just be five members of an elite fighting force getting ready to go out. 12:19.229 --> 12:22.771 And as we've established, you're already in the zoo. 12:22.791 --> 12:24.112 That's my new way of speaking. 12:24.213 --> 12:24.533 I like it. 12:25.433 --> 12:28.694 They are getting ready to go out and kill. 12:29.494 --> 12:31.354 With waffles tied to their chins. 12:31.374 --> 12:32.955 What are they going to do? 12:32.995 --> 12:35.475 Like smother you with a waffle and then stab you with the pasta? 12:35.735 --> 12:37.716 They might just be killing invasive insects. 12:38.176 --> 12:38.356 Right. 12:38.596 --> 12:39.436 Household pests. 12:39.776 --> 12:41.037 Well that's still killing. 12:41.057 --> 12:42.477 Don't get too excited about the killing. 12:43.117 --> 12:44.157 You've got to differentiate. 12:44.417 --> 12:45.257 You didn't say that before did you? 12:45.277 --> 12:47.538 I mean you're angry about it but you're also excited by it. 12:48.098 --> 12:48.859 Obviously, everyone. 12:49.159 --> 12:56.666 Dan from London was in the bath at the moment when the Black Squadron command was issued, so he's gone for a classic foamy beard. 12:56.766 --> 12:57.626 Very nice foamy beard. 12:57.706 --> 12:59.688 And he's got a very noble face, don't you think? 12:59.708 --> 13:00.068 Yeah. 13:00.329 --> 13:02.330 I mean, he's a leader of men. 13:02.450 --> 13:05.753 He looks like a Roman centurion legion commander. 13:05.793 --> 13:10.037 When the bubbles in that beard pop, don't try leading nothing, because it's going to be over. 13:10.077 --> 13:11.999 But while the beard's on, that's amazing. 13:12.299 --> 13:13.320 Amazingly commanding. 13:15.210 --> 13:16.310 He looks like a young Santa. 13:16.650 --> 13:17.331 He does. 13:17.851 --> 13:21.652 A beautiful young Santa in his early 20s. 13:21.732 --> 13:22.952 Before he developed that gut. 13:23.172 --> 13:24.512 What a time that was. 13:24.532 --> 13:26.173 When there were only a few presents in his sack. 13:27.153 --> 13:28.533 Finally, Matthew and Kirsten. 13:28.713 --> 13:30.294 I think only Matthew is in the photo. 13:30.534 --> 13:31.894 He's already got facial hair. 13:32.194 --> 13:33.095 He's already got a beard. 13:33.115 --> 13:34.975 So what do you do in a situation like that? 13:35.235 --> 13:35.915 Hang things on it. 13:36.235 --> 13:36.775 Absolutely. 13:36.835 --> 13:37.456 Clothes pegs. 13:37.516 --> 13:38.516 Multiple clothes pegs. 13:39.176 --> 13:59.438 attached to the beard dangling off Matthew's face that he's a leader of men as well like if he stood up in a crowd you'd do what that guy said wouldn't you look with those pegs yeah hanging off that beard he looks a little unsure also there's what's he done on his fridge there he's got a giant smiley face made out of magnets on his fridge there it's not about the fridge i'm just looking for the details 14:00.339 --> 14:08.864 So congratulations Black Squadron and don't forget all those photos will be up on our blog and the nice thing about the command this week is we can see all your faces. 14:09.784 --> 14:11.405 It's nice to see the faces of the listeners. 14:11.445 --> 14:14.747 Yeah, very good looking group of Squadron members as well. 14:14.767 --> 14:16.608 It's a sexy show with sexy listeners. 14:16.668 --> 14:22.052 Yeah, of all different kinds, multiracial, multiethnic, that's the same thing, what? 14:22.992 --> 14:23.872 What am I talking about? 14:23.892 --> 14:24.532 I don't know. 14:24.552 --> 14:26.633 You're obsessed with racism and killing. 14:26.753 --> 14:27.093 Exactly. 14:27.113 --> 14:31.534 I'm going to revamp my brain after the news, but first we have to stand down the squadron. 14:31.574 --> 14:32.194 Here's the jingle. 14:32.714 --> 14:36.295 It's 10.30, time for the news here on BBC6 Music. 15:00.403 --> 15:00.946 Oh, dear. 15:06.138 --> 15:06.958 That's embarrassing. 15:07.179 --> 15:11.381 I mean, you would have thought they edited that bit out, didn't you? 15:12.201 --> 15:13.722 You would have thought they edited that bit out. 15:14.262 --> 15:16.043 That's a peculiar tense you said that sentence in. 15:16.063 --> 15:18.825 You would have thought that they would have edited that bit out of it. 15:20.466 --> 15:21.326 Yeah, that was sloppy. 15:21.626 --> 15:21.867 Very sloppy. 15:21.887 --> 15:24.668 That's quite an old record as well, so they've had plenty of time to fix it. 15:24.688 --> 15:30.271 You know, if you have a big piano accident at the end of your recording session... Like, root one... 15:31.972 --> 15:33.734 You know, basic editing. 15:33.794 --> 15:34.475 Who are they anyway? 15:34.495 --> 15:35.896 You cut it out, right? 15:36.937 --> 15:40.600 That was the small faces with their tiny, ridiculous faces. 15:40.881 --> 15:41.921 And here comes the nice. 15:42.102 --> 15:44.524 Have you got my sandwich clips there, James? 15:45.084 --> 15:45.265 No? 15:45.285 --> 15:46.546 Oh, we'll have to do that later. 15:47.469 --> 15:49.150 Well, have you given James some sandwich clips? 15:49.250 --> 15:49.490 Yeah. 15:49.550 --> 15:50.611 To keep his sandwiches fresh? 15:50.651 --> 15:50.911 Yeah. 15:51.111 --> 15:51.751 That's a good idea. 15:51.771 --> 15:52.512 Some sandwich clips. 15:52.912 --> 15:53.432 That's what you need. 15:53.452 --> 15:53.753 No, we haven't. 15:53.773 --> 15:54.613 We'll have to do them later. 15:55.353 --> 15:57.094 It's Adam and Joel on BBC6 music. 15:57.975 --> 15:59.896 That's what I'm saying for the moment, just to fill in. 16:00.276 --> 16:04.258 You know, later on we're going to have some made-up jokes, because we got loads this week. 16:04.278 --> 16:07.400 I mean, I've got now... It's getting out of hand, is what it is. 16:07.420 --> 16:08.041 Do you think so? 16:08.061 --> 16:13.944 A little bit, because the thing is that the quality... People still don't really understand the idea that they have to be properly made up. 16:14.524 --> 16:20.471 So we're getting a lot of very basic puns coming in and it just increases the volume of the mail. 16:20.491 --> 16:23.014 This is the thing, people think they've made up those basic puns. 16:23.395 --> 16:26.718 Yeah, but listen, what's the one that pops up most often? 16:27.039 --> 16:28.661 Mascarpone comes up a lot. 16:28.841 --> 16:30.202 Mascarpone comes up a lot. 16:30.222 --> 16:31.023 Cheese-based joke. 16:31.744 --> 16:32.805 A lot of cheese-based puns. 16:32.825 --> 16:34.167 A lot of Harry Potter puns. 16:35.528 --> 16:37.530 Quidditch, you know, that kind of thing. 16:37.550 --> 16:40.553 JK Rowling only gives her children a quidditch. 16:40.613 --> 16:52.863 I mean this has snowballed from a kind of protoplasmic idea into a huge thing in terms of quantity of stuff we're receiving and we should really get professor Brian Cox or somebody 16:53.123 --> 16:56.384 Can't we get Tim to help us Tim find to help us collate the joke. 16:56.424 --> 16:56.564 Yeah. 16:57.104 --> 17:06.646 And then we could issue some sort of national, uh, national joke status warning to basically have a moratorium on certain areas of humor. 17:07.286 --> 17:10.366 So the nation knows that particular puns are taken care of. 17:10.926 --> 17:12.247 They don't need to be repeated. 17:12.647 --> 17:13.147 Yeah, exactly. 17:13.487 --> 17:14.607 Like in denial. 17:15.047 --> 17:15.367 Yes. 17:15.527 --> 17:18.428 The whole, all the puns that come in about a river in Africa. 17:18.548 --> 17:18.748 Yeah. 17:19.548 --> 17:20.609 You can't do that anymore. 17:20.729 --> 17:23.470 We could just nix a whole level of puns that are too common. 17:23.511 --> 17:24.431 They're too widespread. 17:24.451 --> 17:25.251 All right, Richard Nixon. 17:25.712 --> 17:26.392 Hey, I'll tell you what. 17:26.892 --> 17:28.793 Shall we have the jingle even? 17:29.134 --> 17:35.117 Made up jokes jingle and then tease the whole feature with a couple of little jokes and then we can come back to it later on? 17:35.177 --> 17:35.537 Wow. 17:35.877 --> 17:37.558 A little joke tease? 17:38.018 --> 17:38.299 Yes. 17:38.319 --> 17:39.319 A little joke tease, mate. 17:39.599 --> 17:40.000 All right, mate. 17:40.020 --> 17:40.480 That'd be nice. 17:40.820 --> 17:41.480 Here's the jingle. 17:42.221 --> 17:43.822 I'm a funny person. 17:44.302 --> 17:45.903 I often make up jokes. 17:46.343 --> 17:59.090 My jokes are more amusing than those of other folks When you hear my joke I think you'll find that you agree Come on, you're all invited to a made-up joke party 18:00.819 --> 18:03.801 I like that jingle because it's got an atmosphere of despondency to it. 18:04.022 --> 18:06.303 Yeah, it's despondency in the face of hilarity. 18:06.423 --> 18:06.784 Yeah. 18:07.284 --> 18:08.105 Or the other way around. 18:08.785 --> 18:08.985 Mm-hmm. 18:09.125 --> 18:10.226 Here's a joke that I made up. 18:10.747 --> 18:12.788 Actually it was a joint effort with Garth Jennings. 18:12.888 --> 18:13.189 Really? 18:13.269 --> 18:14.089 He came up with it. 18:14.269 --> 18:23.577 Because I was thinking the jokes that I, my made up jokes that I said in the first show after we came back, I thought maybe they were so bad that I'd set the bar very low. 18:23.977 --> 18:24.938 Trade mama from the throw. 18:25.038 --> 18:29.981 And released some sort of, yeah, released some sort of sediment from the bottom of the tank. 18:30.021 --> 18:30.642 Some joke stink. 18:30.802 --> 18:31.082 Yeah. 18:32.984 --> 18:35.486 I think that the made up jokes we've had so far in the last couple of weeks. 18:35.506 --> 18:40.751 Or maybe there were some listeners that were like, oh, I can do better than that. 18:41.111 --> 18:43.914 Oh, if it's like that, I could do that. 18:44.354 --> 18:45.616 I didn't realise. 18:45.636 --> 18:47.858 I thought it was funny jokes, but it's not. 18:48.058 --> 18:49.919 I think that's what I did. 18:49.980 --> 18:53.202 I lowered the bar so low that the bottom's fallen out of the barrel. 18:55.444 --> 19:00.128 Okay, well, you might think that that's... Are you gonna raise it lower? 19:00.649 --> 19:00.829 What? 19:01.049 --> 19:01.990 Lower it higher? 19:02.010 --> 19:02.270 What? 19:02.350 --> 19:03.511 I might do a little lower raise. 19:03.852 --> 19:05.673 Here's one that Garth and myself came up with. 19:05.733 --> 19:06.974 Garth conceived this. 19:07.094 --> 19:07.935 I did a tweak on it. 19:08.235 --> 19:08.456 Wow. 19:09.016 --> 19:10.716 Did you get together just to do this? 19:11.517 --> 19:12.177 Yeah, we had a meeting. 19:13.697 --> 19:22.140 Have you heard, in LA we had it, have you heard that Jonathan Ross's uncle was an East End villain who was notorious for pulling people's pants up to their ears? 19:23.580 --> 19:24.740 He was called Wedgie Quay. 19:29.457 --> 19:29.757 Wow. 19:29.897 --> 19:32.679 It was very expensive to get out to LA for that meeting as well. 19:32.699 --> 19:33.860 The problem- oh, his uncle. 19:34.280 --> 19:34.741 His uncle. 19:34.881 --> 19:36.642 Yeah, but so his surname isn't Ross. 19:37.382 --> 19:41.265 But you've unified the whole thing just by doing the wee cars on the- Exactly. 19:41.285 --> 19:42.346 On both sides. 19:42.786 --> 19:43.506 That was my idea. 19:43.546 --> 19:44.167 That's very good. 19:44.187 --> 19:45.888 That was the extra layer that I added. 19:45.968 --> 19:46.929 That was the extra layer? 19:46.949 --> 19:48.390 What was it like without that layer? 19:48.450 --> 19:52.272 Originally, it was just about an East End villain who pulled people's pants up to their ears. 19:52.332 --> 19:53.713 He was called Wedgie Cray. 19:54.073 --> 19:58.396 And then I said, hey, hey, hey, hey, we are missing a whole layer here. 19:58.416 --> 19:59.277 I think you've ruined it. 20:00.899 --> 20:02.160 I think it's better without the lair. 20:02.220 --> 20:06.365 I mean it's very lazy to talk about Jonathan Ross's speech impediment, which is anyway not that pronounced. 20:07.225 --> 20:07.926 Everyone does it. 20:08.207 --> 20:09.848 But I thought, I'll do that too. 20:11.690 --> 20:12.031 That's good. 20:12.071 --> 20:12.431 Is that it? 20:12.731 --> 20:12.892 Yes. 20:13.232 --> 20:13.953 That's very good. 20:14.433 --> 20:15.935 And so what was your plan for this link? 20:15.975 --> 20:18.338 We were going to tease it with that joke and then do it properly. 20:19.299 --> 20:19.739 Have you got one? 20:20.320 --> 20:21.080 Not that I've made up. 20:21.821 --> 20:22.762 There's one from a listener. 20:23.122 --> 20:24.022 This is really good though. 20:24.382 --> 20:26.123 And I did the Google test on this. 20:26.443 --> 20:27.664 And it passed the Google test. 20:28.004 --> 20:31.225 It's from Henry St Ledger, an illustrator and animator. 20:31.726 --> 20:33.026 So already I like him. 20:34.007 --> 20:34.687 Here's his joke. 20:34.727 --> 20:36.528 Me and my friend John came up with this one. 20:37.068 --> 20:37.548 Patient. 20:38.008 --> 20:40.509 Vet, vet, my parrots are stuck together. 20:41.070 --> 20:41.370 Vet. 20:41.890 --> 20:43.191 I'm sorry, I don't understand. 20:44.091 --> 20:45.412 It's toucan fusing. 20:45.913 --> 20:46.854 It's toucan fusing. 20:47.154 --> 20:47.755 Toucan fusing. 20:47.775 --> 20:48.575 It's toucan fusing. 20:48.595 --> 20:49.696 Toucans are fusing. 20:49.716 --> 20:50.757 That's quite good, isn't it? 20:50.817 --> 20:51.478 Heh heh heh! 20:51.498 --> 20:53.720 And that's, I thought, well surely that's been done before. 20:53.880 --> 20:54.061 Yeah. 20:54.221 --> 20:55.542 But I googled it and no. 20:55.682 --> 20:56.183 That's brilliant. 20:56.203 --> 20:57.304 I googled toucan fusing. 20:57.584 --> 20:59.125 You get a heh heh heh! 20:59.225 --> 21:00.907 Wow, that's the greatest accolade of all. 21:00.967 --> 21:01.528 Rather than a... 21:04.278 --> 21:05.519 Which I think Wedgie Quay got. 21:05.960 --> 21:08.422 Alright, we'll have some more made up jokes later on in the video. 21:08.442 --> 21:09.703 Will, we have only got one more. 21:09.944 --> 21:10.724 You can have some of mine. 21:10.745 --> 21:13.367 I have got them coming out of every orifice. 21:13.467 --> 21:14.869 What's your quality control like? 21:14.989 --> 21:16.170 They're good, they're all good! 21:16.190 --> 21:17.591 Wedgie Quay is the worst of them. 21:17.631 --> 21:18.052 Are you sure? 21:18.152 --> 21:19.153 Yes, promise you. 21:19.693 --> 21:23.077 Villagers right now, and this is that day. 21:27.462 --> 21:28.702 I like songs that end like that. 21:29.002 --> 21:29.963 It's a powerful out. 21:30.083 --> 21:32.864 Where all the instrumentation drops out and it's just the guy. 21:33.204 --> 21:35.585 Yeah. 21:35.686 --> 21:39.707 When he plays that live it stops like that and the audience don't applaud they just think. 21:40.088 --> 21:40.828 That's right. 21:40.888 --> 21:45.971 For up to five minutes some of them take out pads or laptops and work on their novels for a bit. 21:46.231 --> 21:48.072 No meaning. 21:48.292 --> 21:50.613 And he could extend the last line for ages. 21:50.933 --> 21:53.114 There's no meaning. 21:59.403 --> 22:26.808 longer longer did you ever do that uh that game where you try and make sustain a noise for as long as possible i think we just did it yeah hey listen here's the thing i was watching a film during the week uh called the ghost the ghost writer you know with uh ewan mcgregor playing the guy that ghost writes the prime minister a thinly veiled tony blair rohman polanski yeah directed by polanski starring um brosnan 22:27.668 --> 22:28.309 Chris Bromholm. 22:28.369 --> 22:30.370 In a magnificent performance. 22:30.390 --> 22:31.051 As Tony Blur. 22:31.231 --> 22:32.051 As Tony Blur. 22:32.472 --> 22:35.294 But there was a weird thing about the film, they kept mentioning sandwiches. 22:35.314 --> 22:36.074 Did they? 22:36.374 --> 22:37.595 Yeah, did we play the first clip? 22:37.635 --> 22:40.017 I don't, you know, I'm not sure this means anything. 22:41.158 --> 22:43.499 And I don't, I'm just getting it off my chest really. 22:44.120 --> 22:48.343 But it just seemed odd to me that they would mention sandwiches all the time. 22:48.383 --> 22:49.804 Here's the first clip of sandwiches. 22:51.205 --> 22:53.987 You have six hours before Adam gets in from New York. 22:54.047 --> 22:55.648 Can you finish by then? 22:56.169 --> 22:56.449 I'll try. 22:57.791 --> 22:59.933 Our last step to bring you up a sandwich for lunch. 22:59.953 --> 23:00.293 Thanks. 23:00.714 --> 23:02.816 Probably innocent to spring you up a sandwich for lunch. 23:02.836 --> 23:03.236 Fine. 23:03.376 --> 23:05.298 Everyone likes sandwiches. 23:05.338 --> 23:07.380 Ten minutes later, this happens. 23:07.940 --> 23:08.441 How's it going? 23:08.781 --> 23:09.161 Pretty well. 23:09.241 --> 23:10.102 He keeps calling me man. 23:10.763 --> 23:12.845 He always does that when he can't remember someone's name. 23:13.886 --> 23:15.067 There are sandwiches in the kitchen. 23:17.247 --> 23:18.368 And that stuck out to me. 23:18.488 --> 23:19.248 This is weird. 23:19.348 --> 23:20.929 What's the deal with sandwiches? 23:21.829 --> 23:28.333 I mean, it's not as if it's set in like an airport departure lounge where there are lots of sandwiches in the immediate environment. 23:28.393 --> 23:29.853 It's a metaphorical motif. 23:29.993 --> 23:30.554 Is it though? 23:30.874 --> 23:33.435 And then later in the film, you get this. 23:34.776 --> 23:35.296 Something to eat? 23:36.557 --> 23:37.517 What have you got? 23:37.737 --> 23:38.858 Club sandwich time chowder. 23:39.545 --> 23:40.226 Chad will be fine. 23:40.546 --> 23:43.769 So he doesn't go for the sandwich but it's the third mention of sandwiches in the film. 23:43.809 --> 23:44.950 Well I think it is deliberate. 23:45.070 --> 24:04.345 So I was looking through the screenplay as you do and then and weirdly the first mention of sandwiches is on page 17, the second is on page 27, the third is on page 47 of the screenplay and then later in the screenplay there's a whole scene where the stage directions talk about sandwiches even though they're not actually mentioned. 24:05.307 --> 24:08.429 This is your sandwich conspiracy theory. 24:08.449 --> 24:22.556 You know what, this wasn't just the week, this was last year and I made a note of this and then I've come back to it and I've recorded all the mentions of sandwiches and now I'm playing them to the nation because I think this is the beginning of an amazing conspiracy theory. 24:22.636 --> 24:23.496 Do you? 24:23.576 --> 24:33.281 Part of the plot of the film is that hidden in the Prime Minister's memoirs is a secret code, right, that gives away some, that's the plot of the film, right, that gives away some misdeed he did. 24:33.901 --> 24:35.522 in his highly fictional illegal war. 24:36.562 --> 24:40.643 And I think maybe there's a similar code hidden within the film based on sandwiches. 24:40.843 --> 24:41.544 Was there a code? 24:41.604 --> 24:43.324 I forgot about that part of the film. 24:43.344 --> 24:43.924 Yeah, I think so. 24:44.044 --> 24:47.466 I was focused on Ewan McGregor's, um, accents getting around all over the place. 24:47.486 --> 24:48.806 Yeah, there's lots of fun in that film. 24:48.846 --> 24:50.867 Lots of fun to be... inadvertent fun to be had. 24:50.927 --> 24:51.087 Yeah. 24:52.147 --> 24:53.308 But what do you think about that? 24:53.368 --> 24:55.149 My sandwich conspiracy theory? 24:55.229 --> 24:57.710 I mean, it's literally jaw dropping. 25:00.012 --> 25:03.854 But don't you think that maybe there's a chance that it is a metaphor? 25:05.075 --> 25:05.495 For what? 25:05.755 --> 25:18.202 Well, in the film, he is sandwiched between the two powerful and opposing forces of Tony Blur or the Tony Blur character and the Cherie Blur character. 25:18.262 --> 25:18.582 Yes. 25:18.943 --> 25:21.284 And their independent agendas. 25:21.724 --> 25:26.108 Or it's set in a house in New England, isn't it, on the coast of... Maybe it's in Sandwich. 25:26.788 --> 25:27.028 Right. 25:27.208 --> 25:29.750 That's a place on the coast of America, isn't it? 25:29.790 --> 25:30.111 I don't know. 25:30.631 --> 25:31.071 Yeah, it is. 25:32.232 --> 25:33.793 Anyway, I'm just throwing that out there. 25:34.154 --> 25:35.315 That's interesting. 25:35.535 --> 25:45.663 I wonder if people have got their own theories about conspiracy theories in other films that they've noticed, you know. 25:46.423 --> 25:47.384 It's unusual though. 25:47.744 --> 25:48.025 Yeah. 25:48.145 --> 25:53.570 I mean, words are... you don't use just any old word whenever you want in a film. 25:53.590 --> 25:56.473 If you're gonna use a word three times, it's gotta mean something. 25:56.673 --> 25:56.913 Sure. 25:57.174 --> 25:57.914 Like sandwich. 25:58.195 --> 25:58.455 Yes. 25:58.775 --> 26:00.237 Then it begins to stick out, certainly. 26:00.457 --> 26:01.578 Listen, let's leave that there. 26:01.718 --> 26:01.898 Ooh. 26:02.359 --> 26:03.880 And just like that song we just played. 26:04.020 --> 26:04.180 Yes. 26:04.220 --> 26:05.482 With a bit of meaningful silence. 26:05.502 --> 26:08.645 There's no meaning! 26:08.765 --> 26:09.566 And here's a free play. 26:09.586 --> 26:10.907 This is Talking Heads with Pulled Up. 26:23.720 --> 26:27.465 with additional synth riffing from Fingers Cornish. 26:28.387 --> 26:29.168 That one's easy. 26:32.884 --> 26:33.805 does that all the way through. 26:33.825 --> 26:41.209 Do you think metronomy would have been pleased that around about a minute in the new single was played over by Fingers Cornish on the synth? 26:41.469 --> 26:42.930 I think they'd be very excited and happy. 26:43.130 --> 26:43.430 Sure. 26:43.490 --> 26:45.372 They're sure to re-release it with that in it. 26:45.532 --> 26:46.912 On a B-side, sure, why not? 26:46.973 --> 26:47.153 What? 26:47.433 --> 26:48.834 That was good, I loved that song. 26:48.854 --> 26:49.394 Patronising. 26:49.454 --> 26:50.134 A B-side? 26:50.535 --> 26:51.095 Yeah, alright. 26:51.195 --> 26:51.835 Condescending. 26:52.036 --> 26:52.236 Sorry. 26:52.256 --> 26:53.637 Turning it off, never doing that ever again. 26:53.657 --> 26:54.277 That's 12 inch then. 26:55.658 --> 26:55.958 Sorry. 26:57.085 --> 27:05.595 Yeah, I really like that first heard that last week, and I like it like way more 200% more this Wow Imagine what it's gonna be like next week. 27:06.056 --> 27:06.977 It's gonna be off the hook. 27:07.177 --> 27:11.022 I might be over it by then I think it's time for retro text the nation. 27:11.042 --> 27:11.783 Let's play the jingle 27:12.435 --> 27:27.000 I like to listen to Adam and Joan But I listen to the podcast, not the live show I used to feel acute frustration Because I couldn't join in with Text-A-Nation 27:27.660 --> 27:42.137 But now my troubles have disappeared Because retro-texplanations here And now my letter might be read out Instead of thrown in the bin and forgotten about 27:43.594 --> 27:46.296 That's the anglicized version of that jingle with bin. 27:46.316 --> 27:59.467 Mm-hmm I think the original said trash didn't it and then we got complaints that it was Americanized Yes, so we switched it to bin But then people who prefer trash got furious and in the end we made one with both in Yes, right. 28:00.068 --> 28:00.948 Yeah, it was a big war 28:01.969 --> 28:02.690 There was a major war. 28:02.730 --> 28:04.631 It's full of conflict, the programme, this morning. 28:04.651 --> 28:05.412 It's a bin trash war. 28:05.452 --> 28:11.658 But thank you to James Richards, the pianist who played the backing track for that, did it very beautifully. 28:11.678 --> 28:12.939 Thanks a lot, James. 28:13.259 --> 28:13.760 Yeah, good one. 28:13.980 --> 28:15.801 We might be sending you a little parcel soon. 28:16.182 --> 28:16.662 Mmm. 28:16.902 --> 28:20.005 Special signed Adam and Joe album. 28:20.586 --> 28:21.787 Worth a lot of money. 28:21.807 --> 28:23.048 He's waited a long time for it. 28:23.579 --> 28:31.343 So last week on Text the Nation we were talking about birthday flip-outs and here are some of the messages that we've had during the week on the subject. 28:31.763 --> 28:36.186 Here's one from Anouk and she says, Hello Adam and Joe. 28:36.626 --> 28:41.228 I don't have many birthday memories as I never really celebrated them but there's one I still remember. 28:41.868 --> 28:46.491 It was my eighth birthday and only two months before we'd moved from a big city to a tiny village. 28:47.151 --> 28:53.499 I didn't know anyone at my new school, so my father let me invite a bunch of kids over to the cinema and McD's. 28:53.559 --> 28:54.600 What's this voice you're doing? 28:54.940 --> 28:55.781 This is Anouk's voice. 28:56.142 --> 28:56.462 Okay. 28:57.263 --> 28:58.685 Do you think Anouk is a man or a lady? 28:58.865 --> 28:59.646 Lady man. 29:00.407 --> 29:01.408 So this is how Anouk sounds. 29:01.428 --> 29:02.609 I think she's a serious person. 29:03.530 --> 29:10.314 First of all, the film I wanted to see was sold out, so we ended up seeing Richie Rich with Macaulay Culkin, who I thought was rather annoying. 29:10.795 --> 29:19.740 Then my school friends, in inverted commas, kept talking through all of the film and threw popcorn at each other and angered the other people in the room who did want to see the film. 29:19.860 --> 29:22.482 I felt embarrassed and left out, so I just tried to ignore them. 29:22.962 --> 29:28.667 Then we went to Mickey D's for Happy Meals and it was the same, loud shouting, throwing food and running around. 29:29.087 --> 29:37.334 I just ended up sitting at another table, alone, with my father, looking at these kids I clearly didn't understand and had to spend at least another four years with at school. 29:37.794 --> 29:42.218 My dad just gave me a sympathetic look and said, oh well, we tried, we failed. 29:42.658 --> 29:43.819 Just stay at home next year then? 29:44.525 --> 29:47.108 I've never had a birthday party since, but that's fine with me. 29:47.748 --> 29:48.869 Sounds like Lench Pufar. 29:49.210 --> 29:49.510 Anouk. 29:50.992 --> 29:53.054 Anouk might be Lench's long lost daughter. 29:53.674 --> 29:54.655 I can sympathise with you. 29:54.675 --> 29:55.456 What a moving story. 29:55.616 --> 29:56.797 Yeah, it is moving though, isn't it? 29:57.178 --> 29:58.439 She can't relate to the other kids. 29:58.519 --> 30:02.523 Anouk's probably like a... I'd be interested to know what you do for a living, Anouk. 30:02.563 --> 30:04.505 I bet you're some kind of nuclear physicist. 30:04.525 --> 30:05.986 Yes, something very sophisticated. 30:06.006 --> 30:06.467 A geneticist. 30:06.667 --> 30:08.028 to remove from everybody else. 30:09.129 --> 30:14.414 Or you know, just way ahead in whatever field she's currently operating in. 30:15.675 --> 30:21.180 You know, even if she's... She's probably paid by a major conglomerate just to stay out of things. 30:22.081 --> 30:24.523 By the government, just to keep out of things. 30:24.563 --> 30:26.364 Because the cutting edge is too cutting. 30:26.524 --> 30:28.446 Yeah, because she can't, she's too bright. 30:28.586 --> 30:31.269 Right, if she works at Tesco's or whatever on the checkout, 30:32.209 --> 30:38.774 She'd get fired because her checkouts stylings are way in advance of anything that they can handle currently. 30:38.794 --> 30:41.256 She can do two full trolleys in under 20 seconds. 30:41.296 --> 30:49.642 Exactly and she's scanning things with her eyes and she can feel the barcodes just with her fingertips and things like that. 30:50.143 --> 30:51.044 Here's one from Jesse. 30:51.364 --> 30:55.127 On my 12th birthday I had to accompany my elder sister to a sexual health clinic. 30:55.827 --> 30:57.969 The woman at reception asked who wanted to be seen. 30:58.229 --> 30:58.629 I said I'm 12. 30:59.750 --> 31:01.232 My sister went in to be seen. 31:01.432 --> 31:10.903 I didn't realise that she had told a rather loud nurse that it was my birthday and made the entire sexual health clinic waiting room sing me happy birthday and try to hug me. 31:11.684 --> 31:14.787 Everyone thought I was a patient and looked sorry for me as I was alone. 31:15.388 --> 31:17.991 My sister turned out to be fine, but I'm still angry. 31:18.806 --> 31:25.972 Is that a nice way to celebrate your birthday, to have everyone in the waiting room of a sexual health clinic sing you happy birthday and try and hug you? 31:26.132 --> 31:26.412 Yeah. 31:26.773 --> 31:28.214 Thinking that you're a patient aged 12. 31:29.515 --> 31:30.776 A diseased happy birthday. 31:30.796 --> 31:32.437 Another quick one from Liz in Derby. 31:32.757 --> 31:41.364 On my sixth birthday, my parents had built me a throne by covering a large chair in tin foil so I could sit at the head of the table amongst my friends. 31:41.765 --> 31:46.128 But they made a fatal error of starting the happy birthday song when the lights were on. 31:46.989 --> 31:52.573 I tried to stop them but everyone was singing by now so the only thing I could do was rip up the throne to shreds like a demon. 31:53.974 --> 31:55.655 That's dangerous as well, isn't it? 31:55.695 --> 31:56.435 Ripping up thrones. 31:56.535 --> 31:59.657 No, making a big foil throne like that. 31:59.717 --> 32:00.498 Why is that dangerous? 32:00.518 --> 32:02.219 Because you can be struck by lightning. 32:02.719 --> 32:03.240 Indoors? 32:03.400 --> 32:07.302 Yes, the lightning will go through and be conducted through the throne. 32:07.622 --> 32:10.464 But imagine ripping up your throne in a tantrum. 32:11.025 --> 32:12.846 That's the worst tantrum of all, isn't it? 32:13.326 --> 32:16.088 Yeah, especially after they spent all that time like constructing the game. 32:16.108 --> 32:16.648 Yeah, well done. 32:16.708 --> 32:18.309 It is dangerous, it's like it conducts. 32:18.689 --> 32:25.493 I heard of someone, there was a band or something who covered themselves with tinfoil on stage and one of them nearly got fatally electrocuted. 32:25.534 --> 32:26.334 Yeah, outdoors? 32:27.255 --> 32:28.415 No, in a venue. 32:28.815 --> 32:29.096 Really? 32:29.136 --> 32:29.396 Yeah. 32:29.976 --> 32:31.017 By a cable lying around. 32:31.037 --> 32:32.278 Well it conducts electricity. 32:32.378 --> 32:33.418 Exactly, that's my point. 32:34.919 --> 32:35.660 Bad tin foil. 32:36.501 --> 32:39.303 Here's one from Pete in Hersham in Surrey. 32:39.603 --> 32:40.284 Hi Adam and Joe. 32:40.604 --> 32:44.127 I went to Chessington World of Adventures on my 11th birthday with a group of friends. 32:44.567 --> 32:50.452 We got to the front of the queue of my favourite ride, the Magic Carpet, and they had raised the minimum height threshold. 32:50.873 --> 32:54.396 Being the shortest of my group, I had to wait by the side with my mum. 32:54.796 --> 32:59.380 The tables have turned now though, because I can still buy children's clothes without the VAT. 32:59.560 --> 32:59.680 I'm 25. 33:01.181 --> 33:01.723 Nice one. 33:03.327 --> 33:06.394 I wonder what happened for them to raise the minimum height requirement. 33:06.635 --> 33:07.357 They saw him coming. 33:08.086 --> 33:08.626 Quick, it's Pete! 33:09.547 --> 33:11.509 Oh, no, you have to be a couple of inches taller, mate. 33:11.549 --> 33:12.229 Sorry about that. 33:12.750 --> 33:13.250 Yeah, why? 33:13.370 --> 33:16.873 Do you think like someone nearly flew out of the thing? 33:17.013 --> 33:17.233 Yeah. 33:17.713 --> 33:18.434 Oh, that's no good, is it? 33:18.474 --> 33:24.118 So he's got to think himself lucky he wasn't the last guy on before they raised the height requirement. 33:24.138 --> 33:24.919 Oh, it's terrifying. 33:25.279 --> 33:33.686 We went on some roller coasters recently, me and my family, and my son Frank wanted to go on, but he's only just tall enough to get on these things. 33:33.746 --> 33:35.947 And I was so frightened he was just going to fly out. 33:36.368 --> 33:37.649 It really wasn't that much fun at all. 33:38.229 --> 33:39.390 It can be very scary. 33:39.870 --> 33:40.111 Yes. 33:40.491 --> 33:43.113 Here's one from a household that sounds insane. 33:43.873 --> 33:45.215 Sam Wistonoff. 33:45.775 --> 33:55.843 This came from, when I was around five or six, my parents, who disapproved of things like ice cream and jelly due to being hippies, decided that all the food at my party should be healthy, natural and brown. 33:56.303 --> 33:58.805 So they called it the brown party. 33:59.425 --> 34:02.408 My friends were disappointed and the party wasn't going very well. 34:02.828 --> 34:05.710 So to liven things up, I stood on a chair and took my clothes off. 34:06.531 --> 34:07.732 I was carried away crying. 34:08.572 --> 34:09.593 The brown party. 34:10.194 --> 34:11.355 That's a good party though, isn't it? 34:11.395 --> 34:14.797 The brown party and then you've got a little nude girl being carried away crying. 34:15.117 --> 34:16.539 Could be a boy, we don't know. 34:16.599 --> 34:19.921 Sam Winter... You could, listeners, please give us your gender. 34:20.201 --> 34:20.382 Yeah. 34:20.582 --> 34:23.044 There's too many gender ambiguous names going around. 34:23.464 --> 34:25.125 And do you want to hear a quite horrific one? 34:25.285 --> 34:25.626 Sure! 34:25.646 --> 34:27.747 That involves shocking animal injury. 34:27.947 --> 34:28.608 Oh yeah, love it. 34:28.628 --> 34:28.868 Yeah? 34:29.068 --> 34:29.949 This is quite shocking. 34:30.089 --> 34:30.409 Is it? 34:30.609 --> 34:31.430 Yeah. 34:31.470 --> 34:33.611 Well, spin it to make it sound fun. 34:33.691 --> 34:35.152 Because it's so fun and awful. 34:35.553 --> 34:37.974 Well, listen, maybe I'd better let James read it first. 34:38.515 --> 34:39.875 I'm gonna let James read it first. 34:40.476 --> 34:41.356 It is amazing, though. 34:41.396 --> 34:42.537 Here's a very short, sad one. 34:42.837 --> 34:48.141 Finally, Sophie Baker says, On my eighth birthday we played hide and seek and I hid behind the washing machine. 34:48.721 --> 34:52.344 I hid so well that no one could find me and everyone went home. 34:54.065 --> 34:55.045 That's a good story. 34:57.086 --> 34:57.406 Wow. 34:57.566 --> 35:00.547 I like these listeners that just sort of remove themselves from everything. 35:00.587 --> 35:00.807 Yeah. 35:01.307 --> 35:01.527 Yeah. 35:01.587 --> 35:04.348 Hey, Retro Text the Nation will be back next week, listeners. 35:04.408 --> 35:09.390 It's the way that you can join in with Text the Nation if you're listening to the show via the podcast or via Listen again. 35:10.130 --> 35:15.372 So send in your entries during the week to our email address, adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk. 35:15.692 --> 35:19.573 And we'll have a delicious, fresh Text the Nation for you very soon. 35:20.073 --> 35:23.094 A giant, fresh lump of Text the Nation coming your way. 35:23.234 --> 35:25.238 Squeeze now, this is Take Me I'm Yours. 35:27.061 --> 35:27.381 Squeeze. 35:28.464 --> 35:29.164 Take me, I'm yours. 35:29.364 --> 35:35.927 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music, and we're just going to pop back to retro-textination for a little moment. 35:35.947 --> 35:36.568 It's been cleared. 35:37.028 --> 35:41.590 Joe cleared his horrific... Animal injury story has been cleared by producer James. 35:41.630 --> 35:42.110 Here we go. 35:42.510 --> 35:46.112 And this was an email from... Uh-oh. 35:46.372 --> 35:47.753 I don't think I've put the name down. 35:47.973 --> 35:48.593 Uh-oh, uh-oh. 35:48.613 --> 35:51.174 We'll have to come back to this another time and say the name, but here's the email. 35:51.615 --> 35:53.956 My brother was having his fifth birthday party at our house. 35:54.456 --> 35:56.477 My mum had recently totally redecorated. 35:57.177 --> 36:02.059 10 very excited boys were herring around and our Labrador Jimmy was really enjoying himself and joining in. 36:02.699 --> 36:08.761 Little did you got to imagine Jimmy, the fun, the screaming, the excited cries of children having fun. 36:09.101 --> 36:14.423 To cut down on the mayhem my mum put Jimmy in the garden but he howled so much she let him in again. 36:14.943 --> 36:19.725 As he came in the back door swung shut and clipped the tip of his tail clean off. 36:20.385 --> 36:32.309 Completely oblivious and happy to be back at the party, Jimmy ran round and round the house, wagging his tail vigorously, spraying blood all over the newly painted walls and party food, while the kids moved to the next level of hysteria. 36:32.769 --> 36:39.171 I'm 23 now, but the story of my 15th birthday has become a legend in my family and still makes me cringe. 36:39.471 --> 36:40.712 It's just revolting. 36:40.872 --> 36:41.532 That's horrific. 36:41.872 --> 36:42.412 Stumpy Jimmy. 36:42.432 --> 36:43.232 And he was okay though. 36:43.352 --> 36:44.053 Jimmy's fine. 36:44.293 --> 36:46.133 Everybody involved in the story is fine. 36:46.573 --> 36:50.374 Desplight it's... Despite it's Grand Guignol trappings. 36:50.534 --> 36:53.395 Despite... Despite... What is it when it's saying Despite? 36:53.615 --> 36:54.976 You can't say Despite this morning. 36:54.996 --> 36:55.076 Hard! 36:55.096 --> 36:55.956 You started... Yeah! 36:55.976 --> 36:56.336 Despite. 36:56.376 --> 36:58.297 I managed to say Grand Guignol though. 36:58.397 --> 36:59.317 Is that how you say that? 36:59.697 --> 37:00.618 Yeah, that sounds good to me. 37:00.798 --> 37:01.418 Guignol. 37:01.799 --> 37:02.599 Guignol. 37:02.639 --> 37:05.121 Anyway, we'll find out who sent that in and give you a name check. 37:05.161 --> 37:08.023 And by the way, the Sam whose story I read out earlier is a man, Sam. 37:08.363 --> 37:08.783 Man, Sam. 37:08.963 --> 37:10.504 Thank you for letting us know that, Sam. 37:10.925 --> 37:11.625 You're all man. 37:12.125 --> 37:16.308 Man, I was in the railway station earlier this week, right? 37:16.628 --> 37:19.430 You spent most of your time in the railway station or on trains. 37:19.450 --> 37:19.951 I absolutely love it. 37:20.571 --> 37:21.932 Have you ever been to a railway station? 37:21.972 --> 37:23.333 Couple of times in the past, yeah. 37:23.433 --> 37:24.073 Yeah, they're brills. 37:24.914 --> 37:27.736 And it was big in the railway station. 37:31.839 --> 37:32.719 That's it. 37:34.461 --> 37:41.786 I was standing there waiting for my train and I saw a guy on the concourse drop a two-penny piece on the floor, right? 37:42.146 --> 37:43.007 Just fell out of his pocket. 37:43.727 --> 37:45.469 So I looked at it and I thought, that's two-penny. 37:45.489 --> 37:46.429 A two-penny piece? 37:46.449 --> 37:46.630 Yeah. 37:46.730 --> 37:48.171 They're quite rare these days, aren't they? 37:48.191 --> 37:48.391 Are they? 37:48.411 --> 37:49.051 Two-penny pieces? 37:49.111 --> 37:50.753 Yeah, you don't get them around so much. 37:51.173 --> 37:52.094 Take it from Cornballs. 37:53.435 --> 37:55.376 He's trying to have them phased out. 37:55.456 --> 37:56.136 Too many p's? 37:56.317 --> 37:56.997 I'm trying to ban these! 37:57.037 --> 37:59.039 It already sounds archaic and medieval. 37:59.099 --> 37:59.839 A tuppeny pith. 38:00.119 --> 38:03.262 A tuppeny bit fell from his pocket onto the concourse. 38:03.902 --> 38:06.544 Anyway, so I saw the 2p fall on the, is that more groovy? 38:06.824 --> 38:07.264 Yeah. 38:07.284 --> 38:07.505 2p. 38:08.025 --> 38:12.428 So I saw 2p fall out of his pocket on the concourse and I thought, I'm not going to tell him. 38:12.568 --> 38:13.529 I'm not going to bother to say. 38:13.549 --> 38:14.650 Excuse me. 38:14.670 --> 38:17.732 You dropped your 2p because I thought he's going to look at me like, what? 38:18.432 --> 38:19.513 Oh yeah, all right, thanks. 38:20.033 --> 38:21.054 Because it's just 2p. 38:21.634 --> 38:24.676 But then as I was thinking that, I was thinking, that's not the right attitude. 38:25.256 --> 38:27.258 We're in a financial crisis. 38:28.098 --> 38:30.259 You know, 2p, all the 2p's count up. 38:30.680 --> 38:32.421 It's all about 2p's at the end of the day, right? 38:32.761 --> 38:33.001 Yeah. 38:33.361 --> 38:36.963 So I thought, yeah, I mean, what kind of attitude is that? 38:37.004 --> 38:38.685 Just to leave the... What kind of attitude is that? 38:38.705 --> 38:39.565 What kind of attitude is that? 38:39.585 --> 38:41.246 Just to leave the topay on the concourse. 38:41.446 --> 38:42.047 That's not right. 38:42.067 --> 38:43.427 So I thought, I'm going to pick it up. 38:43.708 --> 38:45.008 Because by that time, the guy had gone. 38:46.288 --> 38:58.519 But then I thought, I can't pick it up, because someone might have seen me watching him drop it, and then if I pick it up, it's gonna look like I was just waiting for him to go away so I could pick up the 2P. 39:00.741 --> 39:10.811 And steal it off him, thinking, yes, he's dropped 2P and he hasn't realised, now it will be my 2P in my pocket for sweets or whatever. 39:15.087 --> 39:15.948 a show with a tramp. 39:16.848 --> 39:29.294 If you were a vagrant and you came in every Saturday and told me the stories of your week, they'd be like this, coveting a tuppenny piece. 39:29.335 --> 39:31.616 That's how I saw it on the crown. 39:31.636 --> 39:33.857 I was thinking, well, he doesn't want it. 39:33.877 --> 39:35.178 I'll have it. 39:35.678 --> 39:39.680 You could equally tell the same story about a third-eaten burger in a bin. 39:41.605 --> 39:45.726 A real vagrant wouldn't worry about what people were thinking. 39:46.167 --> 39:48.127 You would make a good vagrant, that's the thing. 39:48.227 --> 39:48.768 That's the thing I am. 39:48.788 --> 39:49.568 You've got the beard. 39:49.668 --> 40:02.692 I feel as if I have the soul of a vagrant, but then also I have superficially, you know, a superficial level of respectability and, you know, I'm integrated into society in a superficially regular way. 40:03.112 --> 40:04.773 Like I have a family and stuff like that. 40:04.833 --> 40:05.873 Hey, we're all vagrants in a way. 40:06.314 --> 40:06.994 Well, exactly. 40:07.534 --> 40:09.475 You know, nothing against the vagrant community. 40:09.515 --> 40:09.635 No. 40:10.735 --> 40:12.416 But what yeah, it took me. 40:12.456 --> 40:13.417 So what happened in the end? 40:13.437 --> 40:14.537 Did you get the tuppence piece? 40:14.737 --> 40:15.337 I picked it up. 40:15.498 --> 40:16.058 You picked it up. 40:16.078 --> 40:17.499 You still got it or have you spent it? 40:17.879 --> 40:20.540 But I had to go through a little bit of theater when I picked it up. 40:21.040 --> 40:22.581 Like looking around for the guy. 40:23.301 --> 40:23.902 Oh, he's gone. 40:23.922 --> 40:26.823 Oh, sir, your tuppence bit. 40:26.963 --> 40:27.344 I have it. 40:28.264 --> 40:30.205 If anyone's, I tell you what, I'll go and announce it. 40:31.115 --> 40:38.319 Ladies and gentlemen, a tuppenny bit has been found on the concourse by a short vagrant. 40:41.541 --> 40:46.583 If you've lost it, please come and collect it. 40:46.724 --> 40:48.524 I think it reflects well on you though. 40:49.705 --> 40:51.566 It doesn't matter to you that it was just tuppence. 40:51.626 --> 40:55.788 It was still the man's property and you were still guilty about thieving it. 40:57.150 --> 40:58.691 Yeah, that reflects well on you. 40:58.711 --> 40:59.091 Well done. 40:59.191 --> 41:00.252 Thanks very much. 41:00.292 --> 41:01.753 You're a tramp with a heart of gold. 41:02.633 --> 41:05.975 Maybe if a woman kissed you, you'd turn into a log. 41:06.895 --> 41:08.316 Not a frog, a log. 41:08.896 --> 41:10.797 Here's Erland and the Carnival. 41:10.817 --> 41:13.039 I've been really enjoying this album by this band. 41:13.079 --> 41:14.880 I saw them supporting Wild Beasts. 41:15.300 --> 41:21.303 And you know, that's sometimes the way you go along and see a band that you're really excited about and the support comes on and they're really good as well. 41:21.503 --> 41:24.245 That happened to me when I saw Willow Smith support Justin Bieber. 41:24.625 --> 41:25.127 Did you? 41:25.407 --> 41:25.608 No. 41:25.628 --> 41:25.668 Oh. 41:26.009 --> 41:27.473 I was excited about that. 41:27.553 --> 41:28.376 This is trouble in mind. 41:29.850 --> 41:30.270 I like it. 41:30.290 --> 41:33.292 That's Erland and the carnival with trouble in mind. 41:33.332 --> 41:35.293 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 music. 41:36.234 --> 41:52.963 Last week I had the pleasure of watching a new documentary, music documentary, all about the Oxford music scene which of course in the 90s spawned bands like Radiohead and Ride, Supergrass, Tallulah Gosh, Swerve Driver. 41:53.424 --> 41:55.205 You used to love Swerve Driver Joe didn't you? 41:55.225 --> 41:56.726 Not as much as I love Tallulah Gosh. 41:56.766 --> 41:57.006 Yeah. 41:57.946 --> 42:03.830 And the documentary is called Anyone Can Play Guitar by a chap called John Spira. 42:04.930 --> 42:09.753 And he has completed this documentary but not cleared the music yet, right? 42:09.813 --> 42:11.154 So it's not widely available. 42:11.174 --> 42:14.956 It's not gonna be on TV until he does that or in theaters until he does that. 42:15.616 --> 42:21.380 And if you want, you can go and invest in this documentary at Indiegogo.com. 42:21.860 --> 42:22.881 It's a funding site. 42:22.901 --> 42:25.523 You know those things where you can go and invest in other people's projects? 42:25.603 --> 42:33.668 Anyway, if you type in anyone can play guitar into Indiegogo, you can contribute to the fund for the music clearances for this excellent documentary. 42:34.129 --> 42:38.912 But anyway, in the doc, right, you get to find out about all these bands who were in Oxford. 42:38.972 --> 42:40.633 It was a real scene happening there. 42:41.633 --> 42:47.336 And it was weird that, you know, you've got Radiohead coming out of there and then you've suddenly got Supergrass all within a few years. 42:48.457 --> 42:53.840 As well as Ride, you know, and Swerve Drive were a big band as well, Tallulacosh, an immensely influential band. 42:55.081 --> 43:03.045 But the story that really sticks out and is more or less the backbone of the whole documentary is the tragic story of the Candy Skins. 43:03.245 --> 43:06.227 There was this band called the Candy Skins who came out of Oxford and were 43:06.887 --> 43:13.053 you know, really quite popular and tremendous live and did fairly well. 43:13.334 --> 43:20.040 Actually, you know, it's not totally tragic because they did pretty well compared to most bands, they did way better than your average band. 43:21.021 --> 43:24.405 But they also had some spectacular little bits of misfortune. 43:24.465 --> 43:27.388 Check out this litany of ups and downs of the Candy Skins. 43:28.668 --> 43:30.189 First of all, they had to rename their band. 43:30.209 --> 43:40.392 They were originally called Badlands, but there was another band in the US called Badlands, so they got dropped from their original deal as Badlands and renamed themselves the Candy Skins. 43:41.173 --> 43:46.775 A legendary A&R man, Tom Zutout, he signed Guns N' Roses and Motley Crue Joe. 43:47.375 --> 43:53.297 He dropped into one of the Candy Skins gigs and three songs in, he asks their manager how much money he wants for them. 43:53.837 --> 43:56.438 Signs them on the spot to Geffen for a three-album deal. 43:56.798 --> 44:19.649 good one right amazing so geffen fly them out to the usa give them the full limo treatment uh out there they're label mates and they play shows with nirvana and sonic youth big deal right at the time uh the us charts are um full of a lot of british bands like jesus jones and emf were in their kind of fun british poppy nonsense no disrespect 44:20.849 --> 44:22.230 to EMF or Jesus Jones. 44:22.650 --> 44:39.358 So the first album, The Space I'm In by The Candy Skins is released out there, but it was released on the same day as Nevermind by Nirvana, which kind of changed the face of the US music industry, and you know, music across the world I suppose, pretty much overnight. 44:39.638 --> 44:44.240 Suddenly no one really wanted to hear Upbeat Fun, Britpop, and it was all about grunge, right? 44:44.860 --> 44:49.561 Anyway, they've recorded their second album, Fun, the Candy Skins, in the US. 44:50.102 --> 44:55.683 Geffen decides not to release it in the UK because they're sort of thinking, oh, it's all about grunge now. 44:55.863 --> 44:58.564 Not sure about this fun pop band. 44:59.164 --> 45:02.385 So Candy Skins are sent back to the UK to write their third album. 45:02.625 --> 45:04.866 Geffen then ignores them, won't take their calls. 45:05.406 --> 45:09.367 Candy Skins, bound by their contract, unable to record or perform live for about a year. 45:09.587 --> 45:11.107 Then they get dropped by their label. 45:11.447 --> 45:12.648 So it's all going wrong for them. 45:14.889 --> 45:19.233 Their roadie is called Ed Candy Skins and he's got a band too. 45:19.333 --> 45:20.574 He's in a band called Radiohead. 45:20.715 --> 45:20.975 No! 45:21.555 --> 45:23.657 Yeah, and they're doing really quite well. 45:24.158 --> 45:34.068 So the Candy Skins have just been dropped from their deal by Geffen, have to go and watch their roadie Ed conquer the world with Radiohead, whose song Creep is doing very well at the time. 45:34.888 --> 45:38.510 At this point, Candy Skin signed to a small UK label, Ultimate. 45:39.130 --> 45:44.953 They've got an album's worth of new material, release a bunch of singles, they start to chart, the momentum is building. 45:45.573 --> 45:50.696 They play Monday Monday on TFI Friday, their single, which has gone top 40, the single. 45:51.196 --> 45:56.979 And it's the episode of TFI Friday after Chris Evans had just quit Radio 1, so the ratings were off the scale. 45:57.759 --> 46:16.705 massive viewing figures so it's all going well you remember the song monday monday right of course monday monday i got egg on my face look at my face it's a total disgrace tuesday morning i got beans on my jeans is that not how it goes but um so it's all looking good for them right it's all looking good they're on the up again i mean they had a tricky time 46:17.265 --> 46:19.046 The label dropped them but now they're bouncing back. 46:19.066 --> 46:19.907 It's all bouncing back. 46:20.227 --> 46:26.851 They're going to re-release one more single from the album and then the album's going to come out Sunday Morning Fever, third album. 46:27.011 --> 46:28.051 It's all going well, right? 46:28.472 --> 46:32.074 Meanwhile, Geffen, they noticed that the band are doing quite well. 46:32.834 --> 46:37.995 So they think, hmm, I tell you what, this will be a good time to release that album, Fun, that we never released in the UK. 46:38.496 --> 46:40.996 And Stymie, the release of their third album. 46:41.596 --> 46:45.698 So all that momentum is kind of dissipated and looks all a bit confused. 46:46.018 --> 46:50.759 Geffen released the album saying that it's the new Candy Skins album, when in fact it was the previous one. 46:51.519 --> 46:56.881 And so at this point they prepare to release their new single, which is called Car Crash. 46:57.241 --> 46:58.181 We're going to play it shortly. 46:59.202 --> 47:05.730 Unfortunately, about a week later, Princess Diana was killed in the car crash in Paris. 47:06.691 --> 47:10.977 So the radio stations weren't keen on playing the new single, understandably. 47:11.998 --> 47:14.982 The momentum at this point is now completely blown. 47:15.642 --> 47:19.546 So, meanwhile, their label Ultimate, they're having financial problems. 47:19.886 --> 47:24.610 Candy Skins go into the studio and produce themselves some tracks for their next album. 47:25.091 --> 47:29.094 One song called Feed It surfaces as a very strong single contender. 47:29.634 --> 47:38.302 At this point, Walter Yetnikov, like legendary man from the 80s who ran Sony, he'd been responsible for Michael Jackson and Bruce Springsteen. 47:38.582 --> 47:41.525 He signs them instantly on the strength of just this one single. 47:42.285 --> 47:50.372 and the band go back to the US, they're touring, they're promoting the single, it's featured on the soundtrack of the Waterboy, the Adam Stone of the film, doesn't get better than that. 47:51.112 --> 47:54.995 At which point Walter Yetnakoff gets cancer and he closes the record company. 47:55.236 --> 47:55.656 Oh no! 47:56.256 --> 48:00.920 So that's not good for Yetnakoff, his family and also the Candy Skins. 48:01.441 --> 48:10.528 Meanwhile the head of their label in the UK Ultimate gets throat cancer, the label goes bust and shortly after that the Candy Skins split. 48:11.470 --> 48:14.812 But I mean, that's that's a litany of woe, isn't it? 48:15.193 --> 48:21.437 And it's told like very movingly by the guys in the band in the documentary who are just the nicest guys you can imagine. 48:22.197 --> 48:26.420 And you sort of hope that maybe things will come together for them because they're still pretty young. 48:26.940 --> 48:34.265 They could reform and maybe there'd be another chapter in the scan in the candy skins, you know, story that would be a bit more upbeat. 48:35.290 --> 48:37.091 That's what a story. 48:37.231 --> 48:38.092 That is a massive fact. 48:38.112 --> 48:45.557 And it shows you that however talented or brilliant you are in terms of your output, there's all sorts of stuff you just can't predict or control in the world. 48:45.897 --> 48:54.462 I once had a big argument with somebody over, do you think that the most famous and successful artists in the world are the best? 48:54.582 --> 48:54.682 Right. 48:55.823 --> 48:57.124 Is it kind of a meritocracy? 48:57.144 --> 48:57.745 Do you know what I mean? 48:57.785 --> 49:00.026 Do the best artists always rise to the top? 49:00.547 --> 49:05.331 Or could there actually be better artists than the super famous ones who were just ignored? 49:05.611 --> 49:06.752 I was saying there probably are. 49:06.872 --> 49:11.215 It's not necessarily the absolute best artists become super famous. 49:11.255 --> 49:12.156 No, because you need luck. 49:12.496 --> 49:13.277 You do need luck. 49:13.297 --> 49:15.519 There's all sorts of stuff going on that's out of your control. 49:15.919 --> 49:27.807 So there you go, the documentary's called Anyone Can Play Guitar, directed by John Spira, all about the Oxford music scene, and you can go and help him complete it by seeking it out and investing online. 49:28.128 --> 49:34.172 Right now, here are the candy skins, and this is that single that they weren't allowed to play at the time, Car Crash. 49:35.424 --> 49:37.545 That's the Candy Skins with Car Crash. 49:37.565 --> 49:41.967 Now Adam Sy Andrews has just emailed in asking you to repeat the name of the documentary. 49:42.427 --> 49:57.293 It was called Anyone Can Play Guitar directed by John Spira and you can invest on it online by going to indiegogo.com as in indie music and then gogo.com. 49:57.814 --> 49:59.454 Okay it is 11.30 and it's time for the news. 50:08.531 --> 50:10.093 It's pretty stunning. 50:11.815 --> 50:12.997 That's a cowbell sound. 50:14.258 --> 50:15.419 Is that a cowbell? 50:15.680 --> 50:16.641 Whereas this is a synth. 50:18.403 --> 50:19.364 Yeah, and this is an oboe. 50:19.384 --> 50:20.865 Oh, that's not bad. 50:21.086 --> 50:23.849 And this is the sound of someone losing their mind! 50:23.869 --> 50:25.491 That's a clarinet. 50:27.924 --> 50:33.068 Synthesizers have come on since the days of the Harvard stereo is what I'm playing. 50:34.208 --> 50:36.130 Joe just found that in the hub. 50:37.111 --> 50:38.692 Has that been played by any big bands? 50:38.772 --> 50:39.192 Probably. 50:39.212 --> 50:40.513 Would the XX have used that? 50:40.833 --> 50:43.375 I think Metronomy did their whole album on it, didn't they? 50:43.555 --> 50:45.817 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music. 50:45.857 --> 50:49.319 That was, of course, PJ Harvey with Good Fortune. 50:49.839 --> 50:53.142 And I think it's time we launched this week's Text the Nation. 50:53.402 --> 50:54.062 Let's have a jingle. 50:54.082 --> 50:56.384 This was constructed by Jez Price. 50:57.005 --> 50:57.365 Let's hear it. 51:10.302 --> 51:11.563 That is good, that's very good. 51:11.683 --> 51:13.565 That's robotic, futuristic, I like it. 51:13.605 --> 51:15.767 Yeah, do you think Jez's real name is Jeremy? 51:17.216 --> 51:19.056 And he gets his friend to call him Jez. 51:20.377 --> 51:22.057 Because it makes him a little bit cooler. 51:22.297 --> 51:22.897 Jeremiah? 51:23.077 --> 51:24.077 Because my name's Joe. 51:24.237 --> 51:25.298 Could I be the Jossa? 51:25.458 --> 51:26.178 The J-man Jossa? 51:26.198 --> 51:27.918 You wouldn't want to be the Jossa though, would you? 51:27.938 --> 51:28.318 Why not? 51:28.338 --> 51:29.399 Who wants to be the Jossa? 51:29.459 --> 51:30.479 It's just more exciting. 51:30.499 --> 51:32.959 You put zeds onto something, it's immediately more exciting. 51:32.999 --> 51:34.360 You used to be called Ads. 51:35.020 --> 51:35.080 Ads? 51:35.160 --> 51:36.000 Ads with a zed. 51:36.200 --> 51:36.880 Ads is cool. 51:37.200 --> 51:37.620 Ads Bads. 51:37.840 --> 51:38.620 What about Joss? 51:38.800 --> 51:39.741 Joss is not cool. 51:40.641 --> 51:41.481 Joss sounds rubbish. 51:43.251 --> 51:43.911 Sorry, man. 51:44.031 --> 51:46.072 But you've got loads of good names! 51:46.212 --> 51:47.712 That's true, I've got too many names already. 51:47.812 --> 51:48.452 Jaycorn! 51:48.692 --> 51:48.992 Jezza. 51:49.032 --> 51:50.473 Well done, Jez Price, that was amazing. 51:51.713 --> 51:52.773 Jaws. 51:52.793 --> 51:54.714 I don't ever want to call you Jaws. 51:56.294 --> 51:57.634 You've been made angry by that. 51:57.794 --> 51:59.955 I'm not angry, I just don't want to call you Jaws. 52:00.015 --> 52:00.695 You're not a Jaws. 52:01.255 --> 52:03.476 So listen, what's the textination? 52:03.596 --> 52:04.116 Jaws stick. 52:06.076 --> 52:07.917 Tell Jaws what the textination is. 52:09.357 --> 52:18.763 Well, I want to talk this week, ladies and gentlemen, and I want you to interact with us about arguments that you've witnessed between couples, maybe? 52:18.823 --> 52:19.644 Between friends? 52:19.984 --> 52:22.666 But you're in the room and you see the argument kicking off. 52:22.706 --> 52:23.566 Tricky situation. 52:24.127 --> 52:26.889 You're with a couple of friends and they start argumentalizing. 52:27.009 --> 52:30.091 You know, it happens obviously with married couples. 52:30.911 --> 52:37.154 Couples that are together in a relationship after a few years, they get comfortable with each other and they start getting to that phase where they can freely argue. 52:37.514 --> 52:39.395 Become overly conversationally relaxed. 52:39.675 --> 52:44.697 Yeah, and once you've got friends who've been married for a few years, the incidence of these little disagreements increases. 52:45.337 --> 52:45.897 Part of the fun. 52:46.217 --> 52:50.019 It's part of the fun, and usually it's, you know, I'm not talking about 52:50.579 --> 52:53.182 horrible, horrible violent arguments and stuff. 52:53.562 --> 52:55.764 I'm talking about fun arguments, just little disagreements. 52:56.285 --> 52:59.288 Hopefully it's not the early stages of the couple actually splitting up. 52:59.328 --> 53:00.509 Yeah, but sometimes it is. 53:01.010 --> 53:02.611 And what do you do in those situations? 53:03.052 --> 53:05.954 Like, what do you do, Joe, if someone starts arguing in front of you? 53:05.974 --> 53:10.218 Because both you and I, I would say, are not that good with confrontation, right? 53:10.979 --> 53:25.376 um we both tend to get quite physically violent quite fast we take it onto a physical level but no you have a good thing that you used to do when we were with groups of friends and there'd be an argument and you used to just pipe up oh mum dad stop arguing 53:25.856 --> 53:29.758 As if you were a child and the two arguing people were your parents. 53:29.798 --> 53:30.138 That's right. 53:30.158 --> 53:31.519 Mummy, Daddy, please don't fight! 53:31.539 --> 53:36.701 That's a good line and it immediately introduces a bit of fun into the equation. 53:36.901 --> 53:37.221 Yes. 53:37.741 --> 53:40.163 A guy I used to work with, Johnny, used to say that when he was a boy. 53:40.183 --> 53:40.783 But you know what? 53:40.963 --> 53:42.464 That was when we were younglings. 53:42.904 --> 53:43.104 Yeah. 53:43.844 --> 53:46.987 Er, now we, you know, you are a mummy and a daddy. 53:47.007 --> 53:48.468 Right, now I'm dealing with real mummies and daddies. 53:48.508 --> 53:50.130 So, so what are you going to do about that? 53:50.170 --> 53:50.950 What do you do now? 53:51.151 --> 53:52.151 Just tell us your story. 53:52.171 --> 53:53.593 You encountered an argument? 53:53.693 --> 54:02.760 Well, there was a mummy and daddy staying with us the other day round at our place and we were all having a nice afternoon, sat round the table after lunch, a couple of glasses of wine. 54:03.781 --> 54:05.322 And dangerous territory already. 54:06.102 --> 54:08.343 I'll call this couple Tommy and Tina. 54:08.703 --> 54:08.943 Yes. 54:09.183 --> 54:12.144 And Tina suddenly piped up. 54:12.164 --> 54:15.505 We were talking about things like watching box sets. 54:15.545 --> 54:17.706 I was complaining about the fact that I'd run out of good. 54:17.786 --> 54:18.566 Terrific convo. 54:18.586 --> 54:19.626 It's a great convo. 54:19.746 --> 54:20.527 Great convo. 54:20.567 --> 54:22.247 Some of the Sunday mags do columns on that. 54:22.307 --> 54:24.328 You could make reference to one of those. 54:24.688 --> 54:28.529 I knew you would pour a little scorn bucket on my box set convo. 54:28.930 --> 54:29.410 Great convo. 54:29.930 --> 54:33.251 Cornish gets out of scorn bucket, fills the scorn bucket. 54:33.391 --> 54:33.932 to the bridge. 54:33.952 --> 54:37.855 There is a column in a paper that goes, it's called My Favorite New Box Set or something. 54:37.875 --> 54:38.196 Is there? 54:38.336 --> 54:38.596 Yeah. 54:38.816 --> 54:39.637 I don't read that column. 54:39.657 --> 54:40.358 I'll cut it out for you. 54:40.498 --> 54:42.119 I just have the conversation for real. 54:42.760 --> 54:45.783 So we're having the box set convo and it's going fine. 54:46.083 --> 54:49.086 You know, we've had the Lady Gaga convo and, um, 54:51.027 --> 55:04.539 And then we, we do the box set combo and then Tina pipes up, Hey, you know, a great show that I've just got into that I was really quite surprised by, but it's brilliant, really well made, brilliantly acted and really surprising. 55:04.599 --> 55:05.660 Great stories every week. 55:05.980 --> 55:06.401 Watchdog. 55:07.101 --> 55:08.422 No, Jonathan Creek. 55:09.123 --> 55:09.383 Right. 55:09.743 --> 55:10.824 So she goes, Jonathan Creek. 55:11.405 --> 55:13.307 And what was the other guy's name? 55:13.327 --> 55:15.048 I said, Tommy and Tina. 55:15.088 --> 55:15.228 Right. 55:15.468 --> 55:16.029 So Tommy goes, 55:16.369 --> 55:16.689 What? 55:17.090 --> 55:18.131 Jonathan Creek? 55:18.311 --> 55:19.191 Are you joking? 55:19.252 --> 55:20.212 Oh, bad start, Tommy. 55:20.993 --> 55:22.014 Too much, too strong. 55:22.054 --> 55:31.101 Yeah, and he's genuinely outraged, but he's also embarrassed because he thinks that Tina's, you know, perfectly understandable love of a program that many people enjoy. 55:31.121 --> 55:32.502 She's lowered their cultural stock. 55:32.582 --> 55:35.425 Yeah, he is embarrassed that she likes Jonathan Creek. 55:35.645 --> 55:35.845 Right. 55:35.905 --> 55:39.368 Totally unfair, and I've never seen the Creek, but I imagine it's brilliant and it's very popular. 55:39.428 --> 55:42.991 And she's announced it in front of Buckles and Lady Buckley. 55:43.131 --> 55:48.415 He thinks we're going to draw some kind of conclusion about her because she loves Alan Davis. 55:48.575 --> 55:50.597 You've known Tommy and Tina for years, though. 55:50.657 --> 55:50.937 Yeah. 55:51.978 --> 56:00.005 And I could see I knew that Tommy was really embarrassed about the fact he had his head in his hands and he was going, oh, Jonathan Creek. 56:00.425 --> 56:00.685 What? 56:00.925 --> 56:01.866 When do you watch it? 56:02.186 --> 56:03.247 You don't really like it. 56:03.287 --> 56:04.928 She's like, yes, it's really good. 56:05.008 --> 56:05.649 It's great. 56:05.909 --> 56:07.850 You're a snob. 56:07.951 --> 56:11.393 Not a snob, it's just, oh, you're, oh, jot of the creek. 56:11.853 --> 56:11.953 Oh. 56:11.973 --> 56:15.236 So it sounds like this accelerated very quickly, very sudden. 56:15.556 --> 56:15.736 Yeah. 56:15.796 --> 56:19.279 And then everyone went quiet because it was clear that he was genuinely distressed. 56:19.299 --> 56:20.500 Were the children around the table? 56:20.580 --> 56:22.361 No, they were all, um, They'd gone off to play. 56:22.421 --> 56:23.402 hurting each other outside. 56:23.442 --> 56:23.562 Yeah. 56:24.402 --> 56:31.506 And everyone got a little uncomfortable because clearly he was genuinely embarrassed and angry with her for revealing this. 56:31.866 --> 56:32.706 She was like, what? 56:32.987 --> 56:33.847 What's the problem? 56:33.887 --> 56:35.428 She's quite nice about it. 56:35.768 --> 56:36.808 She didn't get too chippy. 56:37.009 --> 56:38.169 But after a while she did. 56:38.329 --> 56:41.171 She started sort of saying, oh, why don't you just leave me alone and stuff like that. 56:42.231 --> 56:45.693 So, um, I think I tried the Mummy Daddy Please Don't Fight. 56:45.713 --> 56:46.594 It didn't work? 56:46.614 --> 56:47.575 It didn't really work. 56:47.615 --> 56:49.016 It was still a little uncomfortable. 56:49.036 --> 56:50.677 So how were you feeling during all of this? 56:51.077 --> 56:52.618 Well, I was chuckling a little bit. 56:53.459 --> 56:54.719 I was having a bit of a chuckle. 56:55.420 --> 56:58.062 But then I also, you know, you also- What was your beautiful wife doing? 56:58.842 --> 57:01.744 Maybe clearing the table, busying herself, pretending to ignore it? 57:02.104 --> 57:02.865 Yeah, I think so. 57:02.965 --> 57:03.785 Dealing with the dishes. 57:04.266 --> 57:04.626 Fussing. 57:04.926 --> 57:05.607 Fussing in the kitchen. 57:08.649 --> 57:10.150 She was reading Grazia, right. 57:12.632 --> 57:19.137 So wow, so the text on the nation subject is how do you handle stories about arguments that you've found yourself in the middle of? 57:19.177 --> 57:24.021 Right, I'm interested in the arguments, I'm also interested in the techniques for dealing with them, maybe like... 57:25.382 --> 57:49.012 you know yeah conflict resolution perhaps the text number is 64046 the email is adamandjoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk and you know sunday afternoons after lunch with a bit of wine that's perfect argument territory a lot of listeners you can look forward to maybe having an argument tomorrow afternoon i mean we had as i mentioned maybe plan it maybe plan the very provocative and it should be about something very trivial jonathan creek's perfect 57:49.272 --> 57:49.412 Yeah. 57:49.432 --> 57:50.572 Because it's totally innocuous. 57:50.993 --> 57:51.633 What does it matter? 57:52.073 --> 57:55.854 So it's the perfect subject to have a huge, destructive Barney about. 57:56.034 --> 57:58.855 Yeah, because we, as I said, we'd already exhausted Lady Gaga. 57:59.175 --> 57:59.355 Right. 57:59.395 --> 58:02.636 And it was all about like, the merit of Lady Gaga. 58:02.656 --> 58:03.877 I was defending Gaga. 58:04.637 --> 58:05.897 But that got very heated. 58:05.937 --> 58:07.118 Let's not get into Gaga. 58:07.138 --> 58:08.778 All right. 58:08.898 --> 58:10.339 Here is Death Cab for Cutie. 58:10.399 --> 58:11.539 This is you are a tourist. 58:12.919 --> 58:14.800 I'd like a Death Cab, please for the Cutie. 58:15.785 --> 58:17.847 You're a tourist, that song was called. 58:17.927 --> 58:20.749 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC6 music. 58:21.169 --> 58:32.337 Don't forget listeners that this amazing radio show will have all the flab removed from it and be reduced to a two minute long podcast available tomorrow. 58:32.597 --> 58:33.338 No, it won't be two minutes. 58:33.398 --> 58:35.241 It'll be, they're usually around about an hour. 58:35.842 --> 58:38.846 And we have extra little nuggets in there for you as well. 58:39.206 --> 58:41.930 Lots of podcast exclusive content. 58:42.331 --> 58:43.092 So check it out. 58:43.713 --> 58:45.815 And that'll be available tomorrow evening. 58:46.957 --> 58:47.558 Probably tonight. 58:47.578 --> 58:47.638 Wow. 58:47.698 --> 58:48.920 It gets faster and faster. 58:49.000 --> 58:49.300 Whoa. 58:50.121 --> 58:52.564 You know, available from the usual podcast outlets. 58:52.764 --> 58:53.865 Also, we have a blog. 58:54.165 --> 58:55.166 Tell them about the blog, Joe. 58:55.306 --> 58:56.287 The blog's extraordinary. 58:56.307 --> 58:58.369 It's going to have all your Black Squadron photos on. 58:58.429 --> 59:08.839 It's currently got all of last week's Black Squadron photos, so if you want to see what listeners to this, other listeners to this show look like, what kind of things they get up to, and especially what kind of stuff they have in their houses. 59:09.039 --> 59:17.363 There's also a video on there, I think, that we've uploaded of someone actually having a birthday flip-out, aged six, when he was doing a bit of musical chairs. 59:17.423 --> 59:21.845 You get to see him dancing around the chairs there, there's Ghostbusters playing in the background, it's all very authentic. 59:22.205 --> 59:24.886 Someone beats him to the chair and he goes completely mental. 59:25.166 --> 59:48.356 Lots of stuff to check out at bbc.co.uk forward slash blogs forward slash adam and joe uh it's free play time now someone one or two people have asked what a free play is people keep asking us that should we keep telling them well the the music that you hear on this show is put together it's a combination of stuff that our producer james chooses some of it is play listed by the station some of it's uh ordered by the state 59:49.036 --> 59:50.436 Some of it is government sanctioned. 59:50.456 --> 59:50.797 That's right. 59:50.817 --> 59:57.279 David Cameron pops in and he says, I think you should play a lot more Death Cab for Cutie because they're so, so good. 59:57.819 --> 59:59.719 And lots of, lots of Scar. 59:59.899 --> 01:00:03.481 Play a load of Scar because I think Scar's absolutely great and really fun. 01:00:03.501 --> 01:00:04.601 Ah, his sleeves rolled up. 01:00:04.921 --> 01:00:05.521 when he says this? 01:00:05.681 --> 01:00:06.161 Yeah, yeah. 01:00:06.241 --> 01:00:07.882 Because he means business. 01:00:08.182 --> 01:00:08.682 Sure he does. 01:00:08.802 --> 01:00:09.242 Sure he does. 01:00:09.262 --> 01:00:10.843 That's a sign of meaning business. 01:00:10.863 --> 01:00:12.703 His tie is rakishly askew. 01:00:12.844 --> 01:00:15.864 I have more confidence in a politician who has their sleeves rolled up, don't you? 01:00:15.885 --> 01:00:18.085 Yeah, because they're ready to get their hands dirty. 01:00:18.105 --> 01:00:19.946 Yeah, they could deliver a calf at the drop of a hat. 01:00:21.086 --> 01:00:23.147 So here's a bit more Raphael Sadiq. 01:00:23.187 --> 01:00:25.928 I played a track from his new album Stone Rolling a couple of weeks ago. 01:00:25.968 --> 01:00:27.788 This is the last one I'm going to play, but this is great. 01:00:27.808 --> 01:00:29.369 This is kind of a tribute to Leon Ware. 01:00:29.389 --> 01:00:30.489 Do you know who Leon Ware is? 01:00:30.529 --> 01:00:30.769 No? 01:00:31.389 --> 01:00:31.590 No? 01:00:32.070 --> 01:00:32.770 Oh, he's the chap. 01:00:32.810 --> 01:00:36.031 He's a kind of soul singer and artist and composer. 01:00:36.351 --> 01:00:40.112 And he wrote all the songs that became I Want You, the Marvin Gaye album. 01:00:40.292 --> 01:00:43.053 So he's like a classic 70s soul guy. 01:00:43.093 --> 01:00:44.654 He's still recording, I think, Leon Ware. 01:00:44.914 --> 01:00:46.634 This is Raphael Sadiq's tribute to him. 01:00:46.654 --> 01:00:48.455 This is called Moving Down the Line. 01:01:11.371 --> 01:01:15.712 The fish member of Power Plant. 01:01:21.234 --> 01:01:22.435 We go crazy with it now. 01:01:26.376 --> 01:01:27.516 That is too crazy, pull it back. 01:01:32.838 --> 01:01:36.219 The rest of the guys in the band have noticed you have too much funky in your fingers. 01:01:36.239 --> 01:01:38.840 So you're out of the Power Plant. 01:01:40.609 --> 01:01:43.913 That was craft work there with computer love. 01:01:43.973 --> 01:01:46.877 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6music. 01:01:47.117 --> 01:01:55.648 Now here's a clip from last week's show of me talking about a video I'd seen online of the Kings of Leon. 01:01:56.149 --> 01:01:58.512 We played one of their tracks and this is what I said afterwards. 01:01:58.800 --> 01:02:09.771 There's a weird video of them on YouTube playing at Reading a few years back, where apparently they just hacked off, they're having a bad gig, and they just play like an incredibly bad version of one of their songs deliberately. 01:02:10.371 --> 01:02:13.915 And just sort of playing weird notes all over the place and singing out of tune. 01:02:13.935 --> 01:02:14.295 That's cool. 01:02:14.475 --> 01:02:21.242 At first I watched it and I couldn't figure out if someone had dubbed over it to make it sound deliberately bad or if it was them just being weird themselves. 01:02:21.322 --> 01:02:22.143 It's quite perplexing. 01:02:22.663 --> 01:02:26.168 So I never actually said last week whether I had decided. 01:02:26.688 --> 01:02:28.931 All I said was that I was a little bit confused. 01:02:29.131 --> 01:02:31.995 I think you were suckered hook, line and sinker. 01:02:32.195 --> 01:02:32.475 I was. 01:02:32.735 --> 01:02:33.997 By Les Mitchell's son. 01:02:34.197 --> 01:02:34.678 That's right. 01:02:34.698 --> 01:02:36.820 Well, there was an avalanche of communication saying... 01:02:37.461 --> 01:02:38.842 Buxton, you idiot hole! 01:02:39.302 --> 01:02:40.722 It's a shred video! 01:02:41.183 --> 01:02:43.544 And of course, I've seen shredding videos before. 01:02:43.564 --> 01:03:05.453 The first time I was aware of them was a few years back when there was a chap called Santeri Ochala, also calling himself Saint Sanders, who did some amazing videos of people like Stevie Vi and, like, guitar virtuosos, and he would deliberately, you know, he would dub deliberately... Now you're just showing off your knowledge of shred videos to try and get a little bit of stuff in the bank? 01:03:05.473 --> 01:03:06.454 Yes, of course! 01:03:07.154 --> 01:03:09.456 I had seen them before. 01:03:09.516 --> 01:03:13.478 I'm trying to set up the fact that I was... So how come you fell for this one? 01:03:13.518 --> 01:03:14.899 Because it's amazingly well done. 01:03:15.099 --> 01:03:24.885 But anyway, to explain the shredding thing, it's people dubbing deliberately bad versions, musical versions of songs that are being played live in a video, right? 01:03:25.586 --> 01:03:35.101 And so this Kings of Leon one I saw, but I was confused because the sound, the guy's voice is exactly like the lead singer. 01:03:35.121 --> 01:03:39.688 Here's a clip of the shredded version of this Kings of Leon performance playing Sex on Fire. 01:03:48.106 --> 01:03:50.248 But you realise that that probably is him singing? 01:03:50.348 --> 01:03:51.328 No, it's not him singing. 01:03:51.749 --> 01:03:54.210 This is all constructed. 01:03:55.571 --> 01:03:55.952 Are you sure? 01:03:55.992 --> 01:03:56.072 Yeah. 01:03:56.132 --> 01:03:56.652 Are you sure? 01:03:56.692 --> 01:03:56.992 Listen. 01:03:59.054 --> 01:04:01.896 No, but it could be they played the shredded stuff in a different key. 01:04:06.399 --> 01:04:06.939 You never know. 01:04:06.959 --> 01:04:08.741 Are you 100% sure? 01:04:09.241 --> 01:04:09.521 Yes. 01:04:10.422 --> 01:04:10.942 Now I am. 01:04:10.962 --> 01:04:13.084 I hope I'm not putting my foot in it again. 01:04:14.781 --> 01:04:16.802 That is not the lead singer of the Kings of Leon. 01:04:16.842 --> 01:04:22.344 If he'd knocked all the accompaniment out of key, it would make all his singing that previously sounded in key out of key. 01:04:22.384 --> 01:04:27.326 It's just a theory, I think it could be a real stem of the real singer, but he's knocked all the backing stuff out of key. 01:04:27.746 --> 01:04:28.526 No, I don't think so. 01:04:28.907 --> 01:04:32.248 I think it's completely constructed from scratch, the guy can tell me. 01:04:32.288 --> 01:04:34.709 Anyway, his dad, Les Mitchell, as you said, 01:04:35.289 --> 01:04:59.791 uh he was one of the people that emailed he said hi adam and joe i was listening to your program on saturday had to laugh when you spoke about kings of leon being hacked off at the redding festival and playing badly the playing was all done by my son tom mitchell 24 he's a creative sound engineer from perth scotland he does shred videos where he dubs over funny versions of live performances of various bands check them out he's done coldplay cigarettes radiohead there's a very funny radiohead one 01:05:00.551 --> 01:05:02.272 Fallout Boy, Mars Volta. 01:05:02.552 --> 01:05:06.954 I can assure you my son does all the instruments and records it on his Mac computer. 01:05:06.994 --> 01:05:08.415 Check out his site on YouTube. 01:05:08.635 --> 01:05:15.918 He calls himself AllureGoNoise on YouTube and they're amazing and I think he does the singing as well. 01:05:17.058 --> 01:05:43.503 I might be wrong but Les or Tom you could get in touch and let us know if you do the vocals but that's the thing that fooled me on the Kings of Leon one was the vocal I just thought well that is just the guy from Kings of Leon and then I went online and I searched for a review of that reading gig and I found out that the reviews were all quite mixed as well they were sort of saying they played a weird show and they left the stage early and they were obviously having a bad time and they got a bit angry with the crowd for not being enthusiastic enough 01:05:43.883 --> 01:05:45.064 So it all kind of made sense. 01:05:45.124 --> 01:05:47.726 I thought, wow, this is a real performance of them throwing this gig. 01:05:48.166 --> 01:05:48.606 But it wasn't. 01:05:48.646 --> 01:05:50.888 I was suckered in by a brilliant bit of shredding there. 01:05:50.908 --> 01:05:51.588 What's his name, Tom? 01:05:51.748 --> 01:05:52.289 Tom Mitchell. 01:05:53.149 --> 01:05:54.410 Tom, you fool Camp Buckley's. 01:05:54.430 --> 01:05:54.951 Enough respect. 01:05:54.971 --> 01:05:56.932 Which is very, very, very difficult to do. 01:05:57.332 --> 01:05:58.033 Very difficult. 01:05:58.093 --> 01:05:59.534 Very difficult. 01:05:59.574 --> 01:06:01.195 I've so seldom been fooled by anything. 01:06:01.415 --> 01:06:05.458 And usually all my facts are absolutely on the money about almost everything I talk about. 01:06:05.478 --> 01:06:08.180 I'm one of the most well-informed men on the radio. 01:06:10.021 --> 01:06:11.283 Anyway, check out Tom Mitchell. 01:06:11.303 --> 01:06:14.486 His stuff is... We could have a new sort of segment, like Full Count Bucky Lees. 01:06:14.546 --> 01:06:14.766 Yeah. 01:06:15.107 --> 01:06:18.210 I sent, incidentally, name drop for you, Tom. 01:06:18.610 --> 01:06:23.836 I sent your Radiohead shredding video to the members of the band, and they thought it was very funny indeed. 01:06:23.876 --> 01:06:24.236 Wow. 01:06:25.397 --> 01:06:27.359 Anyway, here is Desmond Decker right now. 01:06:27.399 --> 01:06:28.120 This is Israelites. 01:06:29.697 --> 01:06:46.599 I'm a funny person, I often make up jokes My jokes are more amusing than those of other folks When you hear my joke, I think you'll find that you agree Come on, you're all invited to a made-up joke party 01:06:49.045 --> 01:06:51.686 Yes, it's time for a few more made-up jokes here on the programme. 01:06:51.726 --> 01:07:00.131 Just to remind you, these have been specially authored by hahaha architects who have sent them in and they believe them to be their own work exclusively. 01:07:00.171 --> 01:07:03.112 You can't just nick someone else's joke and pass it off as your own. 01:07:03.512 --> 01:07:07.054 And also you can't do like a really obvious one that obviously other people would have made. 01:07:07.114 --> 01:07:08.935 We gave some examples earlier in the show. 01:07:09.415 --> 01:07:14.318 Anything to do with denial and various Harry Potter-based jokes. 01:07:15.178 --> 01:07:15.939 Mask a pony. 01:07:16.459 --> 01:07:17.880 I'm worried about made-up jokes. 01:07:18.420 --> 01:07:19.541 I think they're taking over. 01:07:19.581 --> 01:07:23.464 I think they're like one of those vines or trees that people complain about. 01:07:24.124 --> 01:07:25.225 It's like the tin vine. 01:07:25.245 --> 01:07:27.787 It's growing all over the house and we can't see out the windows anymore. 01:07:27.807 --> 01:07:28.488 It's running rampant. 01:07:28.528 --> 01:07:29.649 It's coming indoors! 01:07:29.669 --> 01:07:31.210 I love made up jokes. 01:07:31.330 --> 01:07:32.230 It's my favourite. 01:07:32.491 --> 01:07:35.493 We should just rename this show Made Up Jokes. 01:07:35.533 --> 01:07:36.794 Made Up Jokes with Adam and Joe. 01:07:39.696 --> 01:07:41.197 Here's one from Joe. 01:07:41.217 --> 01:07:46.161 Hey Jim Morrison, I've got a fine selection of cheeses here. 01:07:46.381 --> 01:07:47.382 Which ones would you like? 01:07:48.598 --> 01:07:53.934 Camembert Brie White Chair Shire I thought we weren't going to do cheese ones! 01:07:54.582 --> 01:07:55.243 That's the only one. 01:07:55.723 --> 01:07:55.903 Why? 01:07:55.923 --> 01:07:57.144 I didn't even understand that. 01:07:57.204 --> 01:07:59.086 Come on, bear, bre, white, cheshire. 01:07:59.106 --> 01:08:01.408 Because that's an unusually creative cheese one. 01:08:01.688 --> 01:08:03.170 I don't understand it at all. 01:08:03.230 --> 01:08:05.432 Come on, bear, bre, white, cheshire. 01:08:05.452 --> 01:08:06.813 Oh, I see, I see, I see, okay. 01:08:06.853 --> 01:08:07.574 The types of cheeses. 01:08:07.594 --> 01:08:08.434 No, that's pretty good. 01:08:08.514 --> 01:08:09.776 And Jim Morrison is singing. 01:08:09.796 --> 01:08:10.336 Because that's pretty edgy. 01:08:10.356 --> 01:08:11.497 Come on, baby, light my fire. 01:08:11.537 --> 01:08:11.958 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:08:12.058 --> 01:08:12.518 I wouldn't listen. 01:08:12.538 --> 01:08:16.161 Come on, bear, bre, white, cheshire. 01:08:19.304 --> 01:08:20.184 No, that's good. 01:08:20.204 --> 01:08:21.465 I take it all back. 01:08:21.505 --> 01:08:21.945 That's good. 01:08:21.985 --> 01:08:22.946 That's very convoluted. 01:08:22.966 --> 01:08:23.586 Thank you, Joe. 01:08:23.606 --> 01:08:25.047 It's all right. 01:08:25.127 --> 01:08:26.247 No, I'm talking about the author. 01:08:26.327 --> 01:08:27.067 Have you got one there? 01:08:27.668 --> 01:08:28.068 I do. 01:08:28.808 --> 01:08:31.249 Now, this is one you've given to me. 01:08:31.629 --> 01:08:35.371 You're having to fuel my made-up joke higher. 01:08:35.991 --> 01:08:37.492 And it's not very clearly laid out. 01:08:37.572 --> 01:08:40.994 I'm not sure how to deliver this. 01:08:41.254 --> 01:08:42.674 It's from Stuart in Bristol. 01:08:44.695 --> 01:08:46.036 The punchline is the heading. 01:08:47.584 --> 01:08:55.087 Dear Adam and Joe, did you know that it's Rick Astley's wife's birthday tomorrow? 01:08:55.588 --> 01:08:59.429 I wonder if she's gonna get him that Pixar DVD he keeps asking for. 01:09:00.410 --> 01:09:04.411 No, I wonder if she's gonna get that Pixar DVD she keeps asking for. 01:09:04.731 --> 01:09:06.512 I'm making a right pig's ear of this, aren't I? 01:09:06.772 --> 01:09:08.313 And at the end he says, I would say not. 01:09:08.873 --> 01:09:10.074 Somehow, I doubt it. 01:09:10.914 --> 01:09:15.036 And the joke is headed, never gonna give you up. 01:09:16.175 --> 01:09:17.776 That's my heading that I put for my own. 01:09:17.836 --> 01:09:19.416 Oh you read it properly then. 01:09:20.857 --> 01:09:22.698 She wants the Pixar, she wants Up. 01:09:22.878 --> 01:09:25.179 You get it, we've given you the ingredients. 01:09:25.199 --> 01:09:31.801 He's saying, I'm never gonna give you Up, I'm never gonna give you Cars, I'm never gonna give you Finding Nemo either. 01:09:31.821 --> 01:09:32.801 There you go, there you go. 01:09:33.762 --> 01:09:36.163 You thought about it, I just got handed it to me. 01:09:39.585 --> 01:09:43.307 That's good, that's good, that's good. 01:09:44.688 --> 01:09:46.509 Here's one from Steve Moore. 01:09:47.289 --> 01:09:51.472 I walked past a hairy-footed little man yesterday who was going to throw bread at me. 01:09:52.032 --> 01:09:53.413 I said, don't throw dough. 01:09:55.450 --> 01:09:55.770 Yes. 01:09:58.593 --> 01:10:00.195 Don't throw dough. 01:10:00.355 --> 01:10:00.795 That's good. 01:10:00.835 --> 01:10:01.876 Don't throw dough. 01:10:02.417 --> 01:10:03.358 Don't throw dough. 01:10:04.178 --> 01:10:05.700 You've given me the really bad ones. 01:10:05.720 --> 01:10:06.220 Yeah I did. 01:10:08.462 --> 01:10:13.928 Graham and Tariq, you've put these big headings at the top. 01:10:13.968 --> 01:10:15.309 Well don't read the headings to remind me. 01:10:15.329 --> 01:10:16.270 Well you've got to tell me that. 01:10:16.910 --> 01:10:18.872 This morning the strangest thing happened. 01:10:20.033 --> 01:10:20.855 I got out of bed. 01:10:20.895 --> 01:10:21.716 I'm not laughing at the joke. 01:10:22.077 --> 01:10:29.408 I got out of bed and started walking around the flat making small talk with various pieces of furniture Turns out on my alarm. 01:10:29.608 --> 01:10:32.773 I pressed the schmooze button schmoozing the furniture 01:10:35.620 --> 01:10:36.820 He pressed the schmooze button. 01:10:36.981 --> 01:10:37.861 It's good, it's good, it's good. 01:10:37.881 --> 01:10:38.562 He's making small talk. 01:10:38.582 --> 01:10:40.423 Kiss hug, kiss hug from Graham and Tariq. 01:10:41.003 --> 01:10:41.664 Thanks guys. 01:10:42.224 --> 01:10:42.624 Tariq. 01:10:44.986 --> 01:10:46.887 Here's one from Matt Hodson. 01:10:47.428 --> 01:10:48.949 What does Popeye have for breakfast? 01:10:49.969 --> 01:10:51.230 Egg egg egg egg egg egg egg egg egg. 01:10:53.311 --> 01:10:54.172 James liked that one. 01:10:54.192 --> 01:10:55.673 Of course he did. 01:10:56.313 --> 01:10:57.474 Because it's very good. 01:10:57.494 --> 01:10:58.775 Do you think that's made up? 01:10:58.955 --> 01:10:59.836 Egg egg egg egg egg egg egg. 01:10:59.896 --> 01:11:00.776 Do you think that's made up? 01:11:00.877 --> 01:11:01.677 Sure it is. 01:11:02.257 --> 01:11:03.058 Have you tested it? 01:11:03.218 --> 01:11:04.439 Egg egg egg egg egg egg egg egg. 01:11:04.739 --> 01:11:08.162 Put in egg egg egg egg egg egg on the computer then if you want. 01:11:08.622 --> 01:11:09.763 It won't work. 01:11:10.303 --> 01:11:11.584 Have you got one more? 01:11:11.925 --> 01:11:12.205 No. 01:11:13.386 --> 01:11:13.886 Now you do. 01:11:13.966 --> 01:11:16.188 Oh god. 01:11:17.269 --> 01:11:18.670 There's my emergency page. 01:11:18.710 --> 01:11:19.310 Which one? 01:11:19.670 --> 01:11:23.033 Any one you want, they're all good. 01:11:23.093 --> 01:11:24.374 I do like your headings. 01:11:24.594 --> 01:11:26.935 That's to remind me what they are. 01:11:27.015 --> 01:11:27.915 It's very effective. 01:11:28.435 --> 01:11:32.916 Okay, did you hear that the Japanese government has decided to recall... Oh, I'm sorry, I picked this one. 01:11:33.317 --> 01:11:38.198 Did you hear that the Japanese government has decided to recall all its foreign troops and replace them with cardboard cutouts? 01:11:38.238 --> 01:11:38.898 No, I didn't know that. 01:11:39.178 --> 01:11:40.699 They're calling it the origami. 01:11:41.559 --> 01:11:45.082 Bye-bye cheesecake Bobby kiss kiss kiss kiss the Auric army. 01:11:45.562 --> 01:11:46.243 That's good. 01:11:46.463 --> 01:11:53.548 It's good This is an extra layer now to made up jokes because they're going through Joe's joke filter as well because he's reading out ones that I've picked Nice. 01:11:53.748 --> 01:11:55.410 Oh, you mean they're not going through my filter. 01:11:55.930 --> 01:12:01.614 Well, no, I mean you are adding a layer of filtrosity filterism You know critical. 01:12:01.995 --> 01:12:02.335 Oh, right. 01:12:02.355 --> 01:12:04.477 Yes Here's one more from me 01:12:08.011 --> 01:12:09.311 Written by you or chosen? 01:12:09.772 --> 01:12:10.592 Chosen by me. 01:12:10.692 --> 01:12:11.312 From the stinky bag. 01:12:11.332 --> 01:12:14.714 This is from Matt Horner in Auckland in New Zealand. 01:12:15.454 --> 01:12:18.155 So I should, actually you should read it out in your New Zealand accent. 01:12:18.315 --> 01:12:20.216 Mate, I do a very good New Zealand accent. 01:12:20.236 --> 01:12:20.516 Oh mate. 01:12:20.536 --> 01:12:24.117 And the thing about it is it's totally distinct from my Australian accent. 01:12:24.237 --> 01:12:25.398 Because it's more sibilant. 01:12:25.478 --> 01:12:27.359 No, I've worked out exactly what the difference is. 01:12:28.599 --> 01:12:33.380 And there's a little bit at the top there where he's just explaining about the creation of the joke. 01:12:33.420 --> 01:12:34.920 And then the bit in italics is the joke. 01:12:34.940 --> 01:12:35.660 Do you understand the system? 01:12:35.700 --> 01:12:35.760 Yes. 01:12:37.241 --> 01:12:37.601 Right. 01:12:37.641 --> 01:12:43.082 Dear Adam and Joe, I have a joke which I made up during dinner with some friends some seven years ago. 01:12:43.242 --> 01:12:43.622 Hobbits? 01:12:43.902 --> 01:12:44.282 Hobbits. 01:12:44.862 --> 01:12:48.702 As you can imagine, my joke was widely well received. 01:12:49.183 --> 01:12:54.323 So I spent the next seven years refining the joke to a point I was truly happy with it. 01:12:54.383 --> 01:12:54.823 Enjoy. 01:12:54.984 --> 01:12:55.344 Hobbits. 01:12:55.524 --> 01:12:55.884 Colon. 01:12:55.924 --> 01:12:56.284 Hobbits. 01:12:56.404 --> 01:12:57.504 Pop in your hobbit house. 01:12:58.244 --> 01:13:03.909 Customer, waiter, waiter, could I have some more of these small sweet tasting onions? 01:13:04.349 --> 01:13:05.610 Waiter, sorry sir. 01:13:11.154 --> 01:13:12.015 That's shallot. 01:13:12.355 --> 01:13:14.016 I mean we've had that before. 01:13:14.056 --> 01:13:14.296 Have we? 01:13:14.477 --> 01:13:15.477 I mean that's one of the classics. 01:13:15.497 --> 01:13:17.179 Not with that brilliant setup though. 01:13:18.079 --> 01:13:19.520 I felt like I was in the restaurant. 01:13:19.560 --> 01:13:23.602 I'm going to get some small sweet tasting onions. 01:13:24.382 --> 01:13:26.023 No sister waiter, that's jollof. 01:13:26.083 --> 01:13:28.684 Thank you, Matt Horner, Auckland, New Zealand. 01:13:31.599 --> 01:13:32.500 Alright then. 01:13:32.520 --> 01:13:33.921 I thought they were good. 01:13:33.941 --> 01:13:34.381 Thank you to everyone. 01:13:34.401 --> 01:13:34.721 No, that was good. 01:13:34.741 --> 01:13:35.162 They were very good. 01:13:35.202 --> 01:13:37.744 Thank you to everyone who sent us made-up jokes. 01:13:38.044 --> 01:13:40.005 Remember, the more tortured they are, the better. 01:13:40.025 --> 01:13:40.466 Yeah, I guess. 01:13:40.486 --> 01:13:41.927 Because then that makes them more authored. 01:13:41.947 --> 01:13:43.768 I know, I lean too heavily on the puns. 01:13:44.109 --> 01:13:45.910 Alright, here's a free play for you now, listeners. 01:13:45.930 --> 01:13:51.914 This is one of my favourite ever bands, and this is from their album that was released in 2001, Girls Can Tell. 01:13:51.974 --> 01:13:53.856 This is Spoon with the fitted shirt. 01:13:54.997 --> 01:13:55.837 Well, that's very good. 01:13:56.358 --> 01:13:58.818 Danger Mouse, Danielle Luppy or Loopy? 01:13:59.159 --> 01:13:59.959 How would you say it, Jay? 01:14:00.239 --> 01:14:00.619 Loopy. 01:14:01.179 --> 01:14:02.620 And Jack White, of course. 01:14:04.160 --> 01:14:10.203 But do they not have a name collectively or are they just called Jack White, Danger Mouse and Danielle Loopy? 01:14:10.863 --> 01:14:12.784 It's not a very good name for a band, though, is it? 01:14:12.944 --> 01:14:15.325 He's got a lot of names already, though, hasn't he, Jack White? 01:14:15.685 --> 01:14:15.885 Yeah. 01:14:15.905 --> 01:14:17.706 A lot of different outfits going on. 01:14:17.946 --> 01:14:18.566 He's got loads. 01:14:18.626 --> 01:14:20.607 I mean, he doesn't want to overburden people. 01:14:20.987 --> 01:14:23.848 So he's just going by the... He's doing the utilitarian thing. 01:14:24.228 --> 01:14:24.548 Right. 01:14:25.249 --> 01:14:27.751 And I guess, I mean, they're all big names, aren't they? 01:14:27.791 --> 01:14:33.535 I mean, I haven't heard of Daniel Lupe before, to be honest, but maybe they all want to stand out as individuals? 01:14:33.635 --> 01:14:33.996 Maybe. 01:14:34.236 --> 01:14:34.576 Maybe. 01:14:34.956 --> 01:14:36.618 But then there's a fourth guy on the picture. 01:14:37.038 --> 01:14:37.799 What's he playing at? 01:14:37.819 --> 01:14:39.080 His name doesn't get mentioned. 01:14:39.800 --> 01:14:40.320 Who's he? 01:14:40.721 --> 01:14:41.361 It's very confusing. 01:14:41.381 --> 01:14:42.262 That'll never be a success. 01:14:42.422 --> 01:14:43.003 Tommy Knockers. 01:14:44.203 --> 01:14:46.944 That's from their forthcoming album, Rome, which is out. 01:14:47.004 --> 01:14:48.824 If it's Tommy Knockers, maybe it will be a success. 01:14:48.964 --> 01:14:49.804 On the 16th of May. 01:14:49.824 --> 01:14:51.385 I'm not sure it's Tommy. 01:14:51.525 --> 01:14:52.505 It's one of the Tommy Knockers. 01:14:52.525 --> 01:14:53.285 It looks like Tommy Knockers. 01:14:53.365 --> 01:14:53.625 Yeah. 01:14:53.885 --> 01:14:55.265 I watched the Tommy Knockers the other day. 01:14:55.285 --> 01:14:55.665 It was on TV. 01:14:55.685 --> 01:14:56.486 The Stephen King film. 01:14:56.606 --> 01:14:56.886 Yeah. 01:14:56.986 --> 01:14:57.926 Is that the one in the plane? 01:14:58.646 --> 01:14:58.866 No. 01:14:59.146 --> 01:15:00.546 No, that is the Langoliers. 01:15:00.807 --> 01:15:02.027 What happens in the Tommy Knockers? 01:15:02.627 --> 01:15:06.228 They're alien men and they come and they take over the minds of people in the village. 01:15:06.248 --> 01:15:06.328 Okay. 01:15:06.348 --> 01:15:08.288 It's not about a man called Tommy who grows knockers. 01:15:10.048 --> 01:15:10.789 I wish it was. 01:15:11.249 --> 01:15:12.769 Let's have the text the nation jingle. 01:15:15.370 --> 01:15:16.091 Textination! 01:15:16.151 --> 01:15:16.452 Text! 01:15:16.532 --> 01:15:16.812 Text! 01:15:16.872 --> 01:15:17.233 Text! 01:15:17.333 --> 01:15:18.074 Textination! 01:15:18.134 --> 01:15:19.095 What if I don't want to? 01:15:19.356 --> 01:15:20.097 Textination! 01:15:20.157 --> 01:15:21.198 But I'm using email. 01:15:21.359 --> 01:15:22.080 Is that a problem? 01:15:22.100 --> 01:15:22.661 It doesn't matter! 01:15:22.701 --> 01:15:22.941 Text! 01:15:25.362 --> 01:15:37.205 So Text the Nation this week, listeners, it's all about arguments you've found yourself in the midst of, like if you're at a social engagement or out in the world and suddenly you find the people you're with or people close to you having a huge Barney. 01:15:37.805 --> 01:15:38.765 How do you deal with it? 01:15:39.265 --> 01:15:42.106 Here's one from Dan Baker in Walthamstow. 01:15:42.466 --> 01:15:47.807 He says, whenever I'm at a dinner party or social situation, if it gets a bit heated after an argument or discussion, 01:15:48.107 --> 01:15:50.308 which happens a lot as we're all film nerds. 01:15:50.749 --> 01:15:55.352 I wait for a beat of awkward silence then I play the opening to Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On. 01:15:55.832 --> 01:16:06.819 This diffuses any situation and results in either hilarious laughter or confused looks and either results in stopping the argument or a return to normal civility. 01:16:07.219 --> 01:16:07.539 Hmm. 01:16:07.980 --> 01:16:09.581 You wait till you're married it won't work then. 01:16:09.701 --> 01:16:13.584 Well he shares this method with his fiance Sarah and his friend Dave Simpson. 01:16:13.664 --> 01:16:14.524 His fiance? 01:16:14.665 --> 01:16:20.709 It might work on your fiance once you've been married for 10 years then you try singing Let's Get It On during an argument. 01:16:20.729 --> 01:16:23.671 He doesn't sing it, he puts it on just to completely alter the mood. 01:16:23.731 --> 01:16:24.432 He sticks it on. 01:16:24.512 --> 01:16:25.412 Is that a good tactic? 01:16:25.452 --> 01:16:28.995 I mean what what record could you have put on during Tommy and Tina's altercation? 01:16:29.015 --> 01:16:31.597 Maybe the theme from Jonathan Creek. 01:16:32.197 --> 01:16:32.577 Yeah. 01:16:33.637 --> 01:16:34.878 What is this theme from Jonathan Creek? 01:16:35.158 --> 01:16:37.399 It's based on a farm, I think. 01:16:37.519 --> 01:16:38.019 Jonathan Creek. 01:16:38.039 --> 01:16:38.379 Jonathan Creek. 01:16:52.743 --> 01:16:54.704 Here's one from Amy, who's a girl. 01:16:55.324 --> 01:16:55.984 Amy girl. 01:16:56.464 --> 01:16:58.084 And she's in the pacifist black squadron. 01:16:58.284 --> 01:16:58.564 Oh yes. 01:16:58.785 --> 01:16:59.305 No killings. 01:16:59.325 --> 01:17:00.025 No killings. 01:17:00.105 --> 01:17:00.345 Good. 01:17:00.505 --> 01:17:00.825 Yeah. 01:17:01.625 --> 01:17:03.286 My parents are starting to go deaf. 01:17:03.686 --> 01:17:07.707 So sometimes when they argue these days, they have to ask me what the other person said. 01:17:08.447 --> 01:17:13.408 I use this opportunity to rephrase their insults in a friendly way and it seems to work. 01:17:14.188 --> 01:17:15.189 That's pretty good, isn't it? 01:17:15.369 --> 01:17:16.409 She's the Kofi Annan. 01:17:16.629 --> 01:17:17.609 There's hope for the future. 01:17:17.669 --> 01:17:20.130 Eventually the arguing individuals will start going deaf. 01:17:20.490 --> 01:17:20.710 What? 01:17:21.410 --> 01:17:21.771 What? 01:17:21.891 --> 01:17:22.511 What did you say? 01:17:23.112 --> 01:17:24.773 But then what if you get a rotten mediator? 01:17:25.314 --> 01:17:26.835 Right, who wants to stoke the fires? 01:17:27.115 --> 01:17:27.255 Mmm. 01:17:27.796 --> 01:17:28.476 That'd be bad. 01:17:28.596 --> 01:17:29.277 What was her name again? 01:17:29.537 --> 01:17:29.897 Amy. 01:17:30.078 --> 01:17:30.618 Amy Girl. 01:17:30.698 --> 01:17:31.158 Amy Girl? 01:17:31.679 --> 01:17:31.899 Yeah. 01:17:32.379 --> 01:17:34.341 Well, Amy Girl, I wish you'd come round to our house. 01:17:34.922 --> 01:17:36.623 I've got the same sort of problem with my parents. 01:17:37.644 --> 01:17:38.725 Um, and here's another one. 01:17:38.925 --> 01:17:40.606 This is from Somebody Anonymous. 01:17:41.727 --> 01:17:41.947 Once 01:17:42.901 --> 01:17:46.563 When I was about eight or nine, my parents were arguing in the lounge. 01:17:47.063 --> 01:17:50.944 So I took the keys to my dad's Ford Granada, got in and started the engine. 01:17:51.424 --> 01:17:55.946 My parents came running out, stopped arguing with each other and yelled at me instead, successful conflict resolution. 01:17:56.106 --> 01:17:56.387 Nice. 01:17:56.467 --> 01:17:59.708 So that's a way if, I mean, you wouldn't want to encourage that for children. 01:17:59.728 --> 01:18:01.709 You don't want to go starting cars. 01:18:01.789 --> 01:18:04.170 Obviously that would be very bad thing for the castle to encourage. 01:18:04.430 --> 01:18:09.692 But in this one isolated incident in the past where no one can be harmed, that was wicked, a very good tactic. 01:18:10.112 --> 01:18:28.271 don't you think yeah that's excellent here's another one finally for this little segment larry from didcot who is a male this is very good people telling us their gender larry man we like to know where we stand yeah uh it should be like they they do in iceland you know you're either um stevenson right or goodman's daughter right you know so 01:18:31.375 --> 01:18:33.077 That's fun. 01:18:33.938 --> 01:18:34.899 Well, why don't we do it with that? 01:18:34.939 --> 01:18:35.560 Good man, son. 01:18:35.980 --> 01:18:37.942 This may not be... What do you mean, why don't we do it with that? 01:18:37.962 --> 01:18:38.463 What's his name? 01:18:38.863 --> 01:18:41.026 His name is Larry from Didcot, brackets male. 01:18:41.046 --> 01:18:42.187 So you call him Larryson? 01:18:42.527 --> 01:18:43.048 Larryson. 01:18:43.489 --> 01:18:45.391 And if it's a girl, you call Tina Dotter? 01:18:45.991 --> 01:18:48.473 I like that, I prefer the dottir. 01:18:48.993 --> 01:18:52.715 This may not be a completely relevant example as I did not know the couple in question. 01:18:53.196 --> 01:18:58.019 In a popular supermarket I witnessed a couple attempting to choose a loaf of bread on the appropriate aisle. 01:18:58.459 --> 01:19:02.401 The woman was dithering, overcome possibly by the large number of brands on offer. 01:19:02.802 --> 01:19:07.384 This led to the brilliant comment from the man, oh come on love it's not rocket surgery! 01:19:10.406 --> 01:19:13.509 That's a that's a bit of a what do we call them malapropism as well? 01:19:13.929 --> 01:19:15.970 Yeah, you know, what did we used to do those on this show? 01:19:15.990 --> 01:19:16.931 Do you remember in the past? 01:19:17.352 --> 01:19:20.134 Mmm, you've got things confused Oh egg corns. 01:19:20.194 --> 01:19:22.135 Yeah, that's a bit of an egg corn as well a bit. 01:19:22.656 --> 01:19:35.025 There we go So let us know about your argument handling tactics Don't forget to tell us if you're a brutal or adult here six four zero four six is the text number the email is Adam and Joe dot six music at BBC co dot UK and 01:19:35.532 --> 01:19:41.075 Now here is Karen Anne Dottir and this is called My Name is Trouble. 01:19:41.235 --> 01:19:44.257 That's not true though because we've established her name is Karen Anne. 01:19:44.877 --> 01:19:46.158 So I don't know what she's talking about. 01:19:46.178 --> 01:19:50.961 This is the opening track from her latest album, 101, out on the 4th of April back then. 01:19:51.361 --> 01:19:51.981 Oh, good times. 01:19:52.241 --> 01:19:53.342 Tour dates will be announced soon. 01:19:53.842 --> 01:19:55.903 I've finished reading out all the things on my fact sheet now. 01:19:56.123 --> 01:19:56.384 Well done. 01:19:59.710 --> 01:20:01.411 What's New Order with Blue Monday? 01:20:01.431 --> 01:20:03.331 I don't need to tell you that though, right? 01:20:03.632 --> 01:20:05.392 Yeah, come on guys, cool. 01:20:06.233 --> 01:20:25.820 So earlier this week I was in a public lavatory where I spend a lot of my time and I was just finishing a number one when I fumbled my smartphone which I was sort of holding in my teeth. 01:20:25.861 --> 01:20:28.622 I think I was gripping it between my teeth, ill-advised. 01:20:30.002 --> 01:20:55.412 splash In it goes at the end of the number two execution number one execution that makes a big difference in the story Because I plunged my hand in immediately and rescued the popular brand of smartphone from the wee-wee pool and An urinal yeah, no wasn't it urinal it was splosh right in the bowl there, right? 01:20:57.012 --> 01:20:57.533 And it was fine 01:20:58.806 --> 01:20:59.407 That's a relief. 01:20:59.707 --> 01:21:00.027 Yeah. 01:21:00.668 --> 01:21:04.030 But man, I just thought, oh, this is, this is not good. 01:21:04.431 --> 01:21:07.253 You know, and there was a split second where I thought, hmm. 01:21:08.094 --> 01:21:09.995 I mean, it's probably dead now, isn't it? 01:21:10.316 --> 01:21:11.096 In the wee-wee pond. 01:21:11.457 --> 01:21:12.337 Probably just leave it there. 01:21:13.038 --> 01:21:15.040 But then I thought, no, I'm gonna save you! 01:21:15.420 --> 01:21:17.382 I'm gonna save you, popular brand of smartphone! 01:21:17.822 --> 01:21:21.483 and I plunged my hand in there and ripped it out and shook it vigorously. 01:21:22.484 --> 01:21:25.625 Spraying... Spraying weed everywhere. 01:21:25.725 --> 01:21:28.366 And that must have felt like quite an adventure. 01:21:28.806 --> 01:21:29.286 It was, man. 01:21:29.706 --> 01:21:34.288 It was like a sort of... It's like the modern equivalent of one of those, um, night's tales. 01:21:34.568 --> 01:21:39.670 I mean, I know this is reinforcing now the image of me as a kind of... Foraging through toilet bowls. 01:21:40.330 --> 01:21:43.372 Picking up coppers on station platforms. 01:21:44.992 --> 01:21:46.813 I'm like a tramp with a life. 01:21:47.213 --> 01:21:47.713 It's good. 01:21:47.733 --> 01:21:48.834 I'm a successful man. 01:21:48.934 --> 01:21:49.354 It's good. 01:21:49.514 --> 01:21:52.136 With the trappings of success, but I'm actually a tramp. 01:21:52.977 --> 01:21:54.197 Um, but it worked, man. 01:21:54.618 --> 01:21:54.818 Yeah. 01:21:54.918 --> 01:21:55.618 It was amazing. 01:21:55.638 --> 01:21:56.679 What an amazing feeling. 01:21:56.719 --> 01:22:02.602 And it reminded me of a time when I was, when I was little and I got, my parents had given me a colour TV for my birthday. 01:22:02.622 --> 01:22:04.243 I must have been 12 or something. 01:22:04.664 --> 01:22:05.504 And it was amazing. 01:22:05.524 --> 01:22:06.785 It was a little Sony Trinitron. 01:22:07.485 --> 01:22:09.567 And it was just extraordinary. 01:22:09.627 --> 01:22:28.079 I sat there one Friday night and I was watching our feed is a pet followed by Magnum Pi and I had a box of French fancies and I was digging in there stuffing them in my what a French fancies you don't know the little square cakes pink and the yellow and the brown ones and they've got a they got a dollop of fun. 01:22:28.479 --> 01:22:29.339 Little stripes on them. 01:22:29.560 --> 01:22:31.220 Icing and, yeah, delicious. 01:22:31.380 --> 01:22:31.720 Yeah. 01:22:31.900 --> 01:22:35.402 So I'm... Yeah, delicious. 01:22:35.782 --> 01:22:36.802 That was innervous. 01:22:37.263 --> 01:22:39.664 So I'm playing through the French fancy. 01:22:40.704 --> 01:22:44.246 But I've got a glass of water on the top of the telly. 01:22:44.946 --> 01:22:55.390 Reach for the glass of water, knock it over, falls down the back of the trinitron, and there's an actual fizz and a puff of smoke, and the screen goes dark. 01:22:56.270 --> 01:22:57.551 And that's it for the trinitron. 01:22:58.670 --> 01:23:03.873 And I can't begin to explain to you the feeling of pure heartbreak and loss. 01:23:03.894 --> 01:23:12.679 I mean, because when you're that, when you're 12 and you're completely materialistically minded, it's like losing, you know, a loved one to see something like that happen. 01:23:12.999 --> 01:23:16.922 Your beautiful, amazing present that you never, ever thought you were going to get off your parents. 01:23:16.962 --> 01:23:24.467 You know, the last thing in the world I thought they were going to buy me was a telly after all the times they'd come in and say, you watching telly, turn that off, do something proper, read a book. 01:23:24.747 --> 01:23:37.372 Do you remember when I borrowed your video camera and I tried in a speedboat in Greece and I wanted to do a Superman flying just over the tips of the waves shot. 01:23:37.592 --> 01:23:42.854 So I held it very close to the surface of the sea water while the speedboat was speeding along. 01:23:43.474 --> 01:23:44.715 And it got splooshed, didn't it? 01:23:44.915 --> 01:23:45.596 It did get splooshed. 01:23:45.636 --> 01:23:47.157 And the seawater got in it, didn't it? 01:23:47.277 --> 01:23:47.938 And it stopped working. 01:23:47.998 --> 01:23:48.919 And it stopped working. 01:23:48.939 --> 01:23:51.641 Because water, if you spill water on something, you're fine. 01:23:52.101 --> 01:23:54.243 Like on a keyboard, because usually you just dry it out. 01:23:54.343 --> 01:23:55.744 And as I've found... And it evaporates. 01:23:55.764 --> 01:23:56.085 You're fine. 01:23:57.085 --> 01:23:58.907 And urine, urine. 01:23:58.967 --> 01:24:02.169 But not sea water, no no no, that has a salty sediment once it evaporates. 01:24:02.189 --> 01:24:03.671 And that gets into the circuits. 01:24:03.711 --> 01:24:04.912 The circuits, yeah. 01:24:05.232 --> 01:24:06.653 But my trinitron survived. 01:24:07.034 --> 01:24:07.274 No. 01:24:07.714 --> 01:24:16.722 Yeah, I came... Well that's what I mean, if it's just water, the advice is just to obviously unplug, very dangerous, but then just let it dry out naturally and it'll usually be okay. 01:24:17.122 --> 01:24:20.866 Coca-Cola, I spilt a whole glass of coke over a keyboard at work once. 01:24:21.147 --> 01:24:21.267 Oh. 01:24:21.847 --> 01:24:22.188 Broken. 01:24:22.268 --> 01:24:22.788 Didn't like it. 01:24:22.848 --> 01:24:23.809 No, too sugary for crows. 01:24:23.870 --> 01:24:25.872 Too sugary for crows and keyboards. 01:24:26.492 --> 01:24:27.934 It's just for you and your dog. 01:24:28.234 --> 01:24:28.415 Yeah. 01:24:30.477 --> 01:24:31.558 So this is handy, isn't it? 01:24:31.598 --> 01:24:32.139 This advice. 01:24:32.279 --> 01:24:33.981 Yeah, this is good advice. 01:24:34.001 --> 01:24:35.823 You're fine with wee-wee, you're fine with water. 01:24:35.923 --> 01:24:36.223 Yes. 01:24:36.423 --> 01:24:38.606 But avoid seawater and sugary drink pop. 01:24:38.846 --> 01:24:41.708 Yeah, when it comes to dunking electronic devices into liquid. 01:24:41.768 --> 01:24:42.209 And pop. 01:24:43.249 --> 01:24:44.770 An actual pop as well. 01:24:45.951 --> 01:24:46.552 Great, good. 01:24:46.572 --> 01:24:47.292 That's informative. 01:24:47.312 --> 01:24:47.733 Good, good, good. 01:24:47.833 --> 01:24:57.140 But the feeling when the trinitron came back, because I sort of forlornly switched it on the next day, going up to the corpse of my beloved best friend who had departed the day before. 01:24:57.240 --> 01:24:58.200 Did you clean the phone? 01:24:59.401 --> 01:25:00.962 Oh, with the phone. 01:25:01.102 --> 01:25:04.203 I mean, you might have wanted to wash it with fresh water. 01:25:04.443 --> 01:25:05.383 No, I wiped it. 01:25:05.484 --> 01:25:06.884 You know, I shook it off. 01:25:06.904 --> 01:25:07.504 I mean, I have to. 01:25:07.784 --> 01:25:09.165 Is it still a little bit stinky? 01:25:09.645 --> 01:25:10.125 The phone. 01:25:10.145 --> 01:25:10.586 It reeks. 01:25:12.926 --> 01:25:18.489 That must be fun to make and receive calls on. 01:25:19.149 --> 01:25:21.390 And the guy speaks with the phone that reeks. 01:25:23.931 --> 01:25:26.512 Here's the Beastie Boys with Make Some Noise. 01:25:37.816 --> 01:26:00.073 I was make some noise by the Beastie Boys which rhymes it's from their forthcoming album hot sauce committee part two out on the 2nd of May and that track is out digitally this week and physically oh that's a relief on the 16th of May and apparently it's got a great new video with lots of famous people in are you saying Joe 01:26:00.402 --> 01:26:16.165 something like that it's all over the internet i haven't looked at it yet but it's got famous people like reconstruct yeah justine collins better than you sure um alan carr larry turner yeah larry turner they couldn't get turner they couldn't get turner no she's too busy too busy 01:26:16.972 --> 01:26:20.695 Um, listen, it's time for a final visit to the land of, uh, text the nation. 01:26:20.835 --> 01:26:21.976 Let's have a jingle, James. 01:26:24.217 --> 01:26:25.038 Text the nation! 01:26:25.078 --> 01:26:25.398 Text! 01:26:25.458 --> 01:26:25.738 Text! 01:26:25.798 --> 01:26:26.159 Text! 01:26:26.259 --> 01:26:26.979 Text the nation! 01:26:27.059 --> 01:26:28.000 What if I don't want to? 01:26:28.020 --> 01:26:29.001 Text the nation! 01:26:29.081 --> 01:26:30.081 But I'm using email. 01:26:30.262 --> 01:26:31.002 Is that a problem? 01:26:31.022 --> 01:26:31.582 It doesn't matter! 01:26:31.602 --> 01:26:31.863 Text! 01:26:34.232 --> 01:26:41.834 And Text the Nation this week is all about being in the middle of arguments that are nothing to do with you but yet you're kind of trapped in there and tactics for defusing them. 01:26:42.474 --> 01:26:44.895 Here is one from Tom Garrison. 01:26:46.075 --> 01:26:46.795 Arguments colon. 01:26:47.356 --> 01:26:55.578 I'm a big proponent of the whoa man guys technique like whoa guys it's only a muffin. 01:26:56.398 --> 01:26:59.040 or whatever trivial thing the couple happen to be arguing about. 01:26:59.400 --> 01:27:00.701 This isn't muffin specific. 01:27:01.122 --> 01:27:12.470 The problems are if they don't think it's so trivial and argue with your patronizing ways or the whole argument made you feel uncomfortable or awkward so your attempt at perspective makes it sound like you fear the end of the world if they don't stop. 01:27:12.790 --> 01:27:15.833 That said, it usually works showing them how silly it all is. 01:27:16.433 --> 01:27:18.054 Hey, hey guys, guys, guys. 01:27:18.335 --> 01:27:20.616 Hey guys, come on, chill out. 01:27:20.676 --> 01:27:21.997 That doesn't work on Dr. Buckles. 01:27:22.378 --> 01:27:22.778 Doesn't it? 01:27:22.858 --> 01:27:25.480 No, because when I hear people doing that voice, I think, what? 01:27:25.720 --> 01:27:28.022 Why are you doing the calm down voice? 01:27:28.102 --> 01:27:29.683 I'm calm! 01:27:30.143 --> 01:27:31.904 Why are you doing the calm down voice? 01:27:32.204 --> 01:27:35.607 What would that have done if you'd done that during Tommy and Tina's big argument? 01:27:36.107 --> 01:27:37.488 Hey, hey, guys. 01:27:37.748 --> 01:27:40.550 Yeah, because then you make it into... I think it fans the flames. 01:27:40.690 --> 01:27:42.011 It's like blowing gently on a fire. 01:27:42.131 --> 01:27:44.032 It's like saying, whoa, there's a conflict. 01:27:44.052 --> 01:27:45.353 You're embarrassing yourselves. 01:27:45.413 --> 01:27:46.994 Hey, whoa, calm down. 01:27:47.215 --> 01:27:47.715 What? 01:27:48.996 --> 01:27:49.956 Jonathan Creek! 01:27:49.996 --> 01:27:50.837 You're exacerbating me. 01:27:50.857 --> 01:27:51.858 You're insane! 01:27:52.861 --> 01:28:02.971 Hey Cornbot and Buckzilla, a good technique when you are at a couple's house and they argue is to call the house phone from your mobile and mute the call. 01:28:03.651 --> 01:28:08.476 Do this a few times and the couple unite over bloody prank callers. 01:28:09.296 --> 01:28:10.297 Works most times. 01:28:10.337 --> 01:28:12.660 That's crafty from Shane Greville. 01:28:13.621 --> 01:28:13.861 What? 01:28:14.461 --> 01:28:18.602 Mandangle oh yeah, he's a man not reading that Shane Greville son. 01:28:19.062 --> 01:28:19.542 Yeah, Shane. 01:28:19.582 --> 01:28:31.766 He's a man He's a man's man, but that's a good technique to call Mandang the house phone During the argument to distract them is it yeah, well then you feel you're being stalked by a terrifying phone freak 01:28:32.907 --> 01:28:33.968 Yeah, but it distracts them. 01:28:34.789 --> 01:28:35.490 So it's alright. 01:28:35.550 --> 01:28:36.751 It's better than them hurting each other. 01:28:36.771 --> 01:28:37.191 I suppose. 01:28:37.552 --> 01:28:39.074 Finally. 01:28:39.154 --> 01:28:40.956 Is this finally? 01:28:41.176 --> 01:28:42.317 No, semi-finally. 01:28:43.279 --> 01:28:46.462 My couply group of friends once squeezed down the front of a daft punk gig. 01:28:46.843 --> 01:28:51.668 Everyone was packed in and hot and personal space was restricted to between your ears. 01:28:52.429 --> 01:28:56.371 A very good friend of mine was and continues to be in a volatile relationship. 01:28:57.572 --> 01:29:00.213 I like friends who continue to be in volatile relationships. 01:29:00.753 --> 01:29:05.476 They found it the ideal opportunity to have a stand up row, finger pointing and screaming the works. 01:29:06.116 --> 01:29:08.797 It felt rather surreal as I couldn't hear a word over the music. 01:29:08.877 --> 01:29:14.480 And as I danced to robot rock, I watched the crowd managed to create a six foot clear no go zone around them. 01:29:14.860 --> 01:29:19.743 And despite the lack of room, I got them a turbo shandy each to distract them. 01:29:19.943 --> 01:29:20.843 And they're still together. 01:29:21.484 --> 01:29:22.124 Oh, good job. 01:29:22.324 --> 01:29:25.766 That's a good place, like if you choose your location properly you can argue as much as you want. 01:29:25.806 --> 01:29:29.108 A daft punk gig is perfect. 01:29:29.148 --> 01:29:33.091 Also couples who are able to vocalise in that way. 01:29:33.111 --> 01:29:36.012 For some couples it's the hallmark of their relationship. 01:29:36.493 --> 01:29:38.154 But it's a healthy thing sometimes. 01:29:38.254 --> 01:29:42.436 There's a great Jonathan Richman song called Couples Must Fight. 01:29:42.496 --> 01:29:46.439 It's a way of blowing off steam and it keeps the relationship lively. 01:29:47.420 --> 01:29:50.221 The bad thing is to have simmering resentment and contempt. 01:29:51.682 --> 01:29:53.324 Don't want simmering resentment, really? 01:29:53.565 --> 01:29:54.666 No, you don't want it to simmer. 01:29:54.826 --> 01:29:58.410 How long can something simmer before it comes to the boil or boils away? 01:29:58.491 --> 01:29:59.291 Well, this is the thing. 01:29:59.432 --> 01:30:00.653 I mean, it could be a few months. 01:30:00.673 --> 01:30:02.916 I've had some stuff simmering for 20 or 30 years. 01:30:02.936 --> 01:30:03.416 It's not good. 01:30:04.378 --> 01:30:05.639 You've got to let that stuff out. 01:30:06.180 --> 01:30:07.441 Oh, it'll be done soon. 01:30:07.461 --> 01:30:09.063 It'll be delicious. 01:30:10.064 --> 01:30:16.309 Here finally is one from Rob who is a male of Norwich Robson hello Joe and hello Adam. 01:30:16.469 --> 01:30:16.710 Hello. 01:30:17.010 --> 01:30:21.153 I saw a tramp in Tesco Arguing with the self-service checkout lady voice. 01:30:22.174 --> 01:30:33.163 He then fell over and clunked his head on the screen argument solved he lost I Wonder if that was me could have been you I've got a lot to say about those self-checkout machines. 01:30:33.363 --> 01:30:33.603 They're a 01:30:33.763 --> 01:31:01.165 yeah do you like them well we should save it for another day really because we're running out of time but there's a lot to be said about those things that's text the nation for this week listeners thank you to everyone who contributed don't forget you can still contribute if you're listening to this via listen again or via the podcast send your contribution to adamandjoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk and who knows it could appear in retro text the nation next week what an incredible reward that would be that would be amazing imagine imagine imagine giving that gift to a little child oh 01:31:03.468 --> 01:31:04.448 I did, it was beautiful. 01:31:04.468 --> 01:31:05.449 That's what the child would say. 01:31:05.469 --> 01:31:06.009 It's amazing. 01:31:06.289 --> 01:31:08.050 Here is, this is your pre-play, right Joe? 01:31:08.150 --> 01:31:08.410 Is it? 01:31:08.530 --> 01:31:09.050 The Human League. 01:31:09.070 --> 01:31:13.232 Yeah, this is a bit of Human League, and this is such a... You say the Human League, I say the Human League. 01:31:13.272 --> 01:31:14.372 The Human League? 01:31:14.552 --> 01:31:14.752 Yeah. 01:31:14.932 --> 01:31:17.834 Yeah, and this is just, this is like a chewy sweet, this record. 01:31:18.354 --> 01:31:21.295 You know, if it was a, if it was a sweet, it would be a chewy or a fruitelle. 01:31:21.495 --> 01:31:22.035 Not a mojo. 01:31:22.115 --> 01:31:24.756 It's just complete sugar and riffage and squidginess. 01:31:25.717 --> 01:31:26.937 It's Fascination by the Human League. 01:31:28.342 --> 01:31:29.823 The Human League with Fascination. 01:31:29.983 --> 01:31:30.923 That's it for this week. 01:31:31.864 --> 01:31:34.786 You've been listening to Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music. 01:31:34.886 --> 01:31:38.988 Thank you for listening and thanks to everyone who's texted or emailed during the show. 01:31:39.028 --> 01:31:41.770 Please keep your missives coming in during the week. 01:31:42.190 --> 01:31:44.391 Don't forget to download the podcast this evening. 01:31:44.431 --> 01:31:45.952 It'll be ready for you to download. 01:31:46.472 --> 01:31:47.273 Oh my goodness. 01:31:47.893 --> 01:31:50.414 And we have a Twitter account now as well. 01:31:50.975 --> 01:31:53.176 At BBC Adam and Joe. 01:31:53.276 --> 01:31:54.437 Are the capitals important there? 01:31:55.497 --> 01:31:58.199 Yeah, at BBC Adam, a nd Joe. 01:31:58.939 --> 01:32:05.922 And when people tweet on this account, it'll be clear if it's James, our producer, or maybe Lucy, our broadcast assistant. 01:32:06.722 --> 01:32:11.765 And then I suppose occasionally, it might be myself or Joe, although we're not going to what about Twitch squadron? 01:32:12.365 --> 01:32:19.029 I mean, the show already has an army of Twitter followers who Twitter one another during the program. 01:32:19.529 --> 01:32:20.870 They call themselves TwitSquadron. 01:32:21.570 --> 01:32:22.190 What about them? 01:32:22.210 --> 01:32:23.151 Have you thought of them? 01:32:23.411 --> 01:32:24.952 Yeah, but they can join in with this one, can't they? 01:32:24.972 --> 01:32:25.392 Can they, though? 01:32:25.412 --> 01:32:27.273 Yeah, well, they can read them. 01:32:27.973 --> 01:32:28.513 Yes, they can! 01:32:32.377 --> 01:32:40.925 And Joe and I were just talking about the fact that, you know, anything that we can think of that's tweetable, we usually save for the actual show. 01:32:41.365 --> 01:32:48.793 So we're not going to pretend that we're going to be on there the whole time, but I'm really going to do my best to try and think of a few tweets that I can plop out there during the week. 01:32:49.073 --> 01:32:50.014 That sounds exciting. 01:32:50.034 --> 01:32:50.554 Tweet plops. 01:32:50.735 --> 01:32:51.936 The way you've described it. 01:32:53.517 --> 01:33:02.706 Liz Kershaw's coming up in a few minutes and we'll be back next week at the same time live here on 6Music from 10am to 1pm next Saturday. 01:33:02.866 --> 01:33:03.887 Hope your week goes really well. 01:33:03.907 --> 01:33:05.528 I'm going to Centre Park's this week with the family. 01:33:05.548 --> 01:33:06.069 Oh no way. 01:33:06.129 --> 01:33:06.949 Back to Centre Park's mate. 01:33:06.969 --> 01:33:07.430 Exciting. 01:33:07.490 --> 01:33:08.511 I'm very excited. 01:33:08.791 --> 01:33:09.732 My body's looking great. 01:33:09.752 --> 01:33:13.756 I can't wait to get into the Bio Dome swimming pool and show off my physique. 01:33:13.996 --> 01:33:14.857 Are you there all week? 01:33:14.917 --> 01:33:16.538 Get in there pretty much, yeah. 01:33:16.598 --> 01:33:16.898 Really? 01:33:17.659 --> 01:33:17.939 lucky. 01:33:18.079 --> 01:33:18.360 Wow. 01:33:18.460 --> 01:33:19.180 I'm a lucky guy. 01:33:19.741 --> 01:33:21.743 Um, so I can't wait for that and I'll fill you in. 01:33:21.763 --> 01:33:22.864 It's gonna be fun stories next week. 01:33:23.024 --> 01:33:23.644 Yeah, sure. 01:33:23.724 --> 01:33:24.865 Who knows what you'll find in the bins? 01:33:24.925 --> 01:33:25.806 Who knows? 01:33:25.886 --> 01:33:27.007 All kinds of stuff. 01:33:27.067 --> 01:33:28.228 And in the pool as well. 01:33:28.809 --> 01:33:29.269 Good times. 01:33:29.670 --> 01:33:30.670 Uh, thanks for listening. 01:33:31.111 --> 01:33:31.571 Take care. 01:33:31.591 --> 01:33:32.112 I love you. 01:33:32.132 --> 01:33:32.272 Bye!