WEBVTT 00:02.213 --> 00:03.556 British Castle. 00:03.736 --> 00:07.304 It's time for Adam and Joe to broadcast on the radio. 00:07.564 --> 00:10.110 There'll be some music and some random talking in. 00:16.081 --> 00:19.042 That's, uh, the drums, and let's go surfing. 00:19.162 --> 00:20.843 Good morning, this is Adam Buxton. 00:21.283 --> 00:23.744 It would be a good day to go surfing. 00:23.764 --> 00:24.985 You're supposed to say your name. 00:25.045 --> 00:26.105 Hello, I'm Joe Cornish. 00:26.426 --> 00:27.286 You not Denny Different? 00:27.886 --> 00:29.547 Uh, no, who would be Denny Different? 00:29.627 --> 00:30.908 Who would want to be Denny? 00:30.928 --> 00:32.528 Why would you want to be Denny Different? 00:32.548 --> 00:33.289 I mean, look at him. 00:33.629 --> 00:33.809 Yeah. 00:34.417 --> 00:35.638 Who would be any different? 00:35.938 --> 00:38.300 Nice day to go surfing though, cause it's beautiful. 00:38.400 --> 00:39.160 It's nice, man. 00:39.200 --> 00:40.141 The summer started. 00:40.221 --> 00:40.621 Yeah. 00:41.202 --> 00:41.462 Ooh. 00:41.582 --> 00:43.923 Has your life changed because of the summer starting? 00:44.104 --> 00:44.264 Nope. 00:44.624 --> 00:44.964 Is it not? 00:45.304 --> 00:45.525 Nope. 00:45.585 --> 00:46.085 Mine has. 00:46.145 --> 00:47.206 It's totally gone up. 00:47.226 --> 00:48.567 So I'm going to talk to you about it later on. 00:48.647 --> 00:48.887 Ooh. 00:49.207 --> 00:50.408 Cause everything changes. 00:50.548 --> 00:54.150 I mean my, everything changes, but you, that's the nice thing about you. 00:54.731 --> 00:59.594 But my cold hasn't completely gone or whatever it is or whatever it is. 01:00.034 --> 01:01.335 But my chesticles were a lot better. 01:01.515 --> 01:01.736 Good. 01:01.916 --> 01:02.336 Check it out. 01:02.356 --> 01:03.056 They look better. 01:03.897 --> 01:04.678 I'm not really wheezing. 01:04.838 --> 01:05.899 That's a little bit wheezy. 01:06.259 --> 01:08.381 I mean, I'm just breathing though, that's the sound of breath. 01:09.963 --> 01:10.704 That's the sound of breath. 01:10.724 --> 01:11.444 Well, I can do that too. 01:12.565 --> 01:12.966 There you go. 01:13.026 --> 01:13.987 But you went all wheezy. 01:14.007 --> 01:15.188 Yeah, but you've got to empty your lungs. 01:15.248 --> 01:16.169 Empty your lungs right now. 01:18.551 --> 01:21.614 Not empty your stomach and your bones. 01:21.774 --> 01:23.576 Don't empty your bones. 01:25.337 --> 01:27.139 Now come on, you've got to clean it up now. 01:27.800 --> 01:29.001 Oh, now look what's happened. 01:30.606 --> 01:31.066 Oh no! 01:31.587 --> 01:32.527 What? 01:32.567 --> 01:33.268 What's going on? 01:34.248 --> 01:35.309 I thought we got rid of him! 01:35.369 --> 01:35.809 Get out! 01:35.969 --> 01:36.610 Get him out! 01:36.630 --> 01:37.591 Kick it out! 01:37.611 --> 01:43.794 Ben, we've got a different producer this week because James Sterling, our regular producer, is on holiday in Spain. 01:44.215 --> 01:45.095 It's nice for him, isn't it? 01:45.856 --> 01:48.057 But we've been joined by our old friend Ben Appleyard. 01:48.237 --> 01:49.338 Hey apples! 01:49.678 --> 01:50.399 How's it going? 01:51.780 --> 01:59.390 Yeah, come on so apples you got to clean up that mess and make sure the dog doesn't come in again Please thank you very much So listen folks. 01:59.430 --> 02:01.172 We've got a packed show, but right now. 02:01.232 --> 02:06.399 Let's let's play some music while we just settle down calm ourselves down Okay, because you know you can get what are we gonna have next? 02:06.739 --> 02:10.160 We're gonna go for bass-o-matic, a bit of fascinating rhythm. 02:10.400 --> 02:13.701 This is from around the same era as the Street Tough record, isn't it? 02:13.721 --> 02:14.522 Yeah, this is odd. 02:14.562 --> 02:16.903 We're having a little cluster of, when is that, 90s? 02:17.523 --> 02:18.003 Late 80s? 02:18.023 --> 02:19.724 Late 80s, yeah, the birth of dance. 02:19.844 --> 02:24.205 Yeah, sort of very computer-controlled dance, was when things weren't allowed to be that loose. 02:24.245 --> 02:26.146 You were being a little bit rude about the Rebel MCs. 02:26.206 --> 02:33.568 Well it's not, to be perfectly honest, and this is just my opinion, for me it's not the best period in dance, stroke, sort of hip-hop, hippity-hop. 02:33.588 --> 02:35.209 The Rebel's here and he's Street Tough! 02:35.709 --> 02:40.024 It's kind of embryonic in a sort of slightly embarrassing way. 02:40.507 --> 02:45.550 Yeah, I mean the truly embryonic stuff is, is the, I think of as the kind of New York stuff. 02:45.690 --> 02:54.214 But this is a weird, this is when sort of hip hop and, and house would you call it, sort of blended and it blended its, its two most least interesting aspects. 02:55.255 --> 02:56.895 That's not a very good way to introduce a record. 02:56.915 --> 02:57.956 We're like music experts. 02:59.177 --> 03:01.238 We like them from a distance. 03:01.758 --> 03:02.878 We like them in that we're humans. 03:03.099 --> 03:04.299 So listen, here's a really bad record. 03:04.319 --> 03:05.960 This is Bass-O-Matic with Fascinating Rhythm. 03:05.980 --> 03:06.100 Hit it! 03:08.843 --> 03:11.466 Yeah, that was Bass-O-Matic with fascinating rhythm. 03:11.926 --> 03:13.608 Funking heck, that was amazing. 03:14.028 --> 03:15.530 This is Adam and Joe on BBC6Music. 03:15.570 --> 03:16.390 Happy Saturday morning. 03:16.430 --> 03:18.693 It's been a difficult start to our second show. 03:18.813 --> 03:19.013 Why? 03:19.273 --> 03:20.855 Well, I was sick all over the floor. 03:20.875 --> 03:22.136 Oh, you were sick and then the dog came in. 03:22.156 --> 03:24.278 And then the dog came in and then we played that. 03:24.739 --> 03:25.499 I liked that! 03:25.719 --> 03:27.741 It's been a little puddle of stench. 03:27.781 --> 03:31.525 Well listen, what if Johnny Bassface from Bass-O-Matic was sad at home? 03:31.565 --> 03:32.346 Even he regrets it. 03:32.566 --> 03:36.928 And he was listening to that, and you were all rude about it, and he would be like, oh, thanks very much. 03:37.148 --> 03:39.409 Oh no, they're not playing this one. 03:39.609 --> 03:40.950 What about my new material? 03:40.970 --> 03:42.051 He'd be saying. 03:42.171 --> 03:43.992 What about my new funky stuff? 03:44.432 --> 03:44.732 Yeah. 03:45.412 --> 03:47.633 I got a funky track, it's coming out now. 03:47.873 --> 03:50.375 I'm going to show you what the track is and how. 03:51.275 --> 04:07.212 that's how it goes you take over i can't listen black squadron uh are the elite listening force that listened to this program at the very beginning they were created they were birthed when this show used to start at nine were they even birthed when we did when we sat in for the breakfast show 04:10.175 --> 04:10.335 No. 04:10.876 --> 04:16.221 So it used to be for people who got up at 9am and listened live to the live show. 04:16.321 --> 04:17.662 An elite listening force. 04:17.982 --> 04:19.283 Now we've started at 10. 04:19.824 --> 04:24.188 It's a more sort of generous open recruitment position sort of thing, isn't it? 04:24.208 --> 04:27.070 I mean, the likelihood is that Black Squadron are up at nine anyway. 04:27.130 --> 04:31.734 It's like when the police used to only let people over a certain height into the police force. 04:31.754 --> 04:33.276 They couldn't get enough bobbies on the beat. 04:33.536 --> 04:34.357 Is that not still the case? 04:34.377 --> 04:35.037 No, no, no, no, no. 04:35.597 --> 04:36.438 You can be shorter now. 04:36.738 --> 04:37.118 Really? 04:37.158 --> 04:38.419 Yeah, that was several years ago. 04:38.679 --> 04:39.019 Wicked. 04:39.099 --> 04:39.920 Quite a while ago. 04:39.960 --> 04:40.940 You could now be a copy. 04:40.960 --> 04:42.201 There are some tiny ones out there. 04:42.901 --> 04:44.442 Some of them you can't see from a distance. 04:44.642 --> 04:45.543 Little Frodo coppers. 04:45.583 --> 04:45.883 Yeah. 04:46.804 --> 04:48.445 So that's what Black Squadron is now. 04:48.525 --> 04:52.467 It's a more inclusive squad, but no less ruthless. 04:52.987 --> 04:56.310 No, don't get the idea that it's somehow a relaxing option. 04:56.350 --> 04:57.251 No, no, no, no, no. 04:57.311 --> 04:57.932 They'll kettle you. 04:58.052 --> 05:00.995 Because we need a lot of... We will kettle you on a bridge. 05:01.015 --> 05:01.976 We'll kettle a heck out of you. 05:01.996 --> 05:02.977 For as long as we want. 05:03.017 --> 05:05.459 And we'll do it in the small house in the morning when nobody knows. 05:05.599 --> 05:06.099 Yeah, exactly. 05:06.360 --> 05:08.842 So listen, stand by for your command, Black Squadron. 05:09.122 --> 05:10.824 This is going to be a slightly abstract one. 05:11.104 --> 05:37.024 we should remark we should remind you in custody we should remind you that you know what you have to do when you hear the command is it's a photo command right yeah you have to take a photograph of yourself doing the command and you have to send it to the following email address Adam and Joe that's a and D not by the way when we say you have to you have to yeah we're not like saying it's not voluntary no if you're black squadron you're conscripted 05:37.504 --> 05:44.729 edamandjoe at sixmusic.bbc.co.uk and that's the address for all communication. 05:44.749 --> 05:46.770 Yeah, email your photo as quickly as possible please. 05:46.790 --> 05:49.272 We got about three, we got over 350 didn't we last week? 05:49.292 --> 05:50.373 It was record breaking last week. 05:50.413 --> 05:51.554 It was the record breakers. 05:51.594 --> 05:52.594 Yeah. 05:52.634 --> 05:53.555 So here's the command. 05:53.935 --> 05:55.456 We'll go straight into a record afterwards. 05:55.476 --> 05:57.518 You have the duration of that record to execute the command. 05:57.538 --> 05:59.179 Your command this, have we had the jingle? 06:00.139 --> 06:00.339 No. 06:00.459 --> 06:00.800 Wow. 06:01.020 --> 06:01.360 Wow. 06:01.420 --> 06:02.521 We're getting way ahead of ourselves. 06:02.541 --> 06:04.042 That would have been terrible. 06:04.242 --> 06:06.243 Okay, let's have the, let's have the jingle first Ben. 06:07.724 --> 06:31.732 Black Squadron Always catch the beginning of the show Black Squadron don't wanna miss a thing That's not the way Black Squadron rolls Black Squadron Went to bed at a reasonable hour Gotta be sharp on Saturday morning That's the secret of the Squadron's power Black Squadron 06:32.794 --> 06:40.722 And before you deliver the command, Joe, can I say that the free play that I have lined up for you is a bit of Lou Reed. 06:41.983 --> 06:47.689 And it's one of those songs, Walk on the Wild Side, that has been played to death, right? 06:48.329 --> 06:48.549 Really? 06:48.829 --> 06:50.050 Yeah. 06:50.210 --> 06:58.773 And it's a great song, no one's saying it's not a great song, but it's one of those things like Bohemian Rhapsody that actually there's never the right time to listen to again because you feel as if you've heard it too many times. 06:59.294 --> 07:00.334 So why are you playing it? 07:00.354 --> 07:05.096 Well, I'm playing a live version from 1972 when he was touring Transformer. 07:05.476 --> 07:06.156 Transformers? 07:06.777 --> 07:10.138 Yeah, it was Transvorm... I don't know why I'm doing a Bowie voice for that. 07:11.498 --> 07:16.320 But yeah, a live version that completely sort of... So you did a live Transformers stage show? 07:16.500 --> 07:17.361 Yeah, it was amazing. 07:18.622 --> 07:26.487 The guy Sheila Burf was there and he's playing bass on this track and the bass transforms into... What's Optimus Prime up to? 07:27.268 --> 07:28.468 Optimus Prime is on bongos. 07:28.849 --> 07:29.229 Really? 07:29.369 --> 07:29.649 Yeah. 07:29.829 --> 07:31.530 He has to have very tough bongos. 07:32.091 --> 07:33.412 Well, yes, he does. 07:33.432 --> 07:34.472 He's got huge bongos. 07:34.513 --> 07:36.594 Big metal bongos, giant metal bongos. 07:37.094 --> 07:38.395 So he's playing on this track as well. 07:38.655 --> 07:43.719 But it's one of those live versions that completely reinvents in an enjoyable way the track. 07:45.123 --> 07:45.924 So much to remember. 07:47.005 --> 07:48.887 Black Squadron, here we go, here's your command. 07:50.289 --> 07:51.730 Just give them the email address once more. 07:52.171 --> 07:55.314 Adam and Joe at 6music.bbc.uk. 07:55.394 --> 07:57.557 This week's command is Unusual Sandwich. 07:57.957 --> 07:58.358 Here's Lou. 08:07.154 --> 08:11.117 And now, Mrs. Simpkins will read some Proust. 08:11.157 --> 08:12.338 Thank you very much, Mr. Read. 08:12.358 --> 08:14.580 That was a good version though. 08:14.600 --> 08:17.842 I mean, I said before that it completely reinvented the song. 08:17.862 --> 08:19.663 That may have been overstating the case. 08:19.683 --> 08:20.384 You overstated it. 08:20.804 --> 08:21.665 You're hyperbolic. 08:21.825 --> 08:23.326 I'm absolutely hyperbolic. 08:23.786 --> 08:24.467 I'm full of, yeah. 08:25.087 --> 08:28.329 Um, but the thing is, you know, it just makes it sound fresh and nice. 08:28.349 --> 08:31.010 And that's a good little guitar solo at the end, replacing the sax. 08:31.030 --> 08:31.911 It's really good, wasn't it? 08:32.131 --> 08:32.651 Didn't you think? 08:32.851 --> 08:33.071 Yeah. 08:33.151 --> 08:33.932 Didn't you enjoy that? 08:33.992 --> 08:34.532 Yes, I did. 08:34.852 --> 08:43.997 Um, now Joe's having a little bit of a meltdown because he's not having a problem because I can't open any of these flipping Black Squadron photos, the BBC computer. 08:44.417 --> 08:49.660 Every time I click it, it just goes, it just goes application not found. 08:50.060 --> 08:50.541 But Tom, 08:51.181 --> 08:52.222 who's our backup man. 08:52.822 --> 08:55.984 He is doing a brilliant job of selecting some and printing them out. 08:56.044 --> 08:56.705 He's very busy. 08:57.105 --> 08:57.825 So bear with us. 08:58.706 --> 09:00.527 We've had a lot of responses. 09:01.008 --> 09:03.369 There are some very unusual sandwiches coming in. 09:03.469 --> 09:04.590 I mean, I'm guessing they are. 09:04.850 --> 09:05.811 Yeah, I can't see any. 09:05.831 --> 09:07.632 We saw one, didn't we, that happened to open? 09:08.773 --> 09:10.834 We saw one that was just a little child sandwich. 09:11.054 --> 09:13.256 A child with a piece of bread on his tummy. 09:13.476 --> 09:14.357 That is an unusual sandwich. 09:14.377 --> 09:15.517 Lying on the kitchen floor. 09:16.238 --> 09:17.479 That is a very unusual sandwich. 09:17.659 --> 09:18.940 But we'll come back to this in a second. 09:18.980 --> 09:20.901 But before then, Adam, go, go, go, go, go. 09:22.702 --> 09:23.362 Go, go! 09:24.203 --> 09:26.524 I was hoping you might have a meltdown about the pictures. 09:26.564 --> 09:28.325 Go, go, go, go, three, two, one. 09:28.365 --> 09:30.507 Action, and action. 09:31.067 --> 09:32.868 Okay, right, here we go. 09:32.888 --> 09:34.789 I've got some by the way now. 09:34.809 --> 09:35.089 Have you? 09:35.229 --> 09:35.409 Yeah. 09:36.330 --> 09:36.910 What are they like? 09:37.611 --> 09:40.893 They're good, but hang on, he hasn't written the name on it. 09:41.966 --> 09:43.046 No, he hasn't written the names on it. 09:43.106 --> 09:44.547 Listen man, you should have a meltdown. 09:44.687 --> 09:45.748 I'm going to have a meltdown with Tom. 09:45.808 --> 09:47.548 I'm going to fly off the handle with Tom. 09:47.588 --> 09:48.469 Have it now though. 09:48.549 --> 09:49.909 I can't, not on air, it's wrong. 09:50.049 --> 09:51.230 It's against the BBC rules. 09:51.270 --> 09:52.230 People like it, people like it. 09:52.250 --> 09:53.771 Anyway, I can't shout like you can. 09:54.071 --> 09:54.891 Shout at Tom. 09:55.412 --> 09:56.012 Tom! 09:56.872 --> 09:58.493 For the name of Billy... 09:59.413 --> 10:00.673 Jimmy Guidal! 10:00.993 --> 10:01.994 What are you doing? 10:02.254 --> 10:07.255 There's no names on the pictures that are coming in of the unusual sandwiches? 10:07.295 --> 10:08.015 It's not fast enough! 10:08.155 --> 10:08.975 It's not fast enough! 10:08.995 --> 10:10.815 It's not fast enough! 10:10.975 --> 10:12.636 There's a long delay! 10:12.676 --> 10:17.237 Adam, Adam, Adam, tell him he's not picking out... You're not picking out the good ones! 10:17.937 --> 10:21.617 There's one here of what is this picture you've picked? 10:22.037 --> 10:24.258 It's just a normal sandwich with... 10:25.171 --> 10:46.399 bits of lettuce that's not unusual and what's this one a woman he hasn't written the name on on that one either he's written daffodil sandwich daffodil what's that who's it by who's it by can't read it out not can't tell him he's fired you're fired tell him to get out get out but turn to finish before he gets out finish this before you get out 10:47.299 --> 10:50.520 And who's- Richard is the intern today, what are we gonna do? 10:50.540 --> 10:51.140 Richard! 10:51.160 --> 10:53.321 You're stepping up to the plate! 10:54.201 --> 10:54.921 Do it now! 10:55.021 --> 10:56.241 Pin some good pictures! 10:56.602 --> 10:58.062 Or you're fired too! 10:58.442 --> 10:59.982 We own this place! 11:00.443 --> 11:01.703 We run this joint! 11:03.063 --> 11:03.683 Is that good? 11:05.004 --> 11:06.604 Yeah, you better have a record. 11:06.964 --> 11:08.185 Well, we gotta trail first. 11:10.347 --> 11:13.108 Cor blimey, that was Arcade Fire with Month of May. 11:13.148 --> 11:13.748 That was quite good. 11:14.009 --> 11:14.589 That was good, man. 11:14.609 --> 11:15.289 That was intense. 11:15.489 --> 11:16.550 They're an intense band. 11:17.170 --> 11:19.671 You think they sit around tickling each other, Arcade Fire? 11:19.711 --> 11:20.891 No, no, no, no, no tickling. 11:21.231 --> 11:21.972 No punching. 11:22.112 --> 11:22.792 Hard punching. 11:22.832 --> 11:23.272 Exactly. 11:23.312 --> 11:27.534 Hard punching and reading to each other from politics books. 11:27.674 --> 11:29.375 Yes, while they punch each other in the face. 11:30.275 --> 11:32.617 Sometimes they hit each other with the politics box. 11:32.637 --> 11:33.858 Yeah, and they're not allowed to react. 11:34.178 --> 11:36.039 So Black Squadron, this is extraordinary. 11:36.079 --> 11:37.560 Your response is extraordinary. 11:37.860 --> 11:38.981 I mean, what a fighting force. 11:39.341 --> 11:39.582 Wow. 11:39.822 --> 11:42.303 I mean, and their response is so quick as well. 11:42.363 --> 11:43.684 So quick, so fast. 11:43.764 --> 11:47.147 There can be no army in any other country that matches it. 11:47.807 --> 11:49.909 And thank you very much, for instance, Fiona. 11:50.729 --> 11:51.210 James? 11:52.011 --> 11:54.234 Is that her name or is it Fiona and James? 11:54.995 --> 11:57.499 There's a rivita sandwich with some tea bags in it. 11:57.919 --> 11:59.461 Would that be tasty? 12:00.463 --> 12:05.770 There's a sandwich here from Ellie Nugent with what appears to be a clockwork crab 12:06.631 --> 12:19.470 uh in a rustic bun the the ryvita sandwich with tea bags that's what we have at our house really my wife likes those really they're bitter papery and all the bits would come out all the all the um 12:22.293 --> 12:24.574 You might want a bit of mayo on there. 12:25.314 --> 12:31.976 Do you know when you go round to someone's house and they offer you food you have to eat it otherwise it's rude. 12:33.396 --> 12:34.876 Try offering them an unusual sandwich. 12:35.417 --> 12:40.478 Sarah in Cambridge to continue the teabag theme has made an apple sandwich between two teabags. 12:41.278 --> 12:42.981 Wow, that's nice looking. 12:43.181 --> 12:52.434 Stuart and Lucy in York have put, I mean maybe that's Lucy herself, but she's sandwiched between two large sofa cushions. 12:53.035 --> 12:56.920 You see, I was hoping and expecting for more human-based, unusual sound. 12:56.980 --> 12:58.922 Well, you know, there's so many that have come in. 12:58.962 --> 13:00.363 This is only the tip of the iceberg. 13:00.764 --> 13:01.745 Here is a sandwich. 13:02.065 --> 13:03.326 It looks like it's on white bread. 13:03.366 --> 13:05.989 It's important to select the type of bread you want your sandwich in. 13:06.689 --> 13:15.638 And in between the two pieces of white bread are some potatoes, some wrapped oxo cubes, and a whole meat pie and tinfoil plate. 13:15.818 --> 13:17.260 I had that sandwich yesterday. 13:17.460 --> 13:17.860 Did you? 13:18.041 --> 13:18.721 Was it tasty? 13:18.861 --> 13:19.542 It was nice, man. 13:19.662 --> 13:22.224 Oh no, hang on, hang on, there's a description of said sandwich. 13:22.284 --> 13:25.185 Wait, it's from Matthew and Emily, it's their cheery pie. 13:25.506 --> 13:30.809 Cheery pie, it's got brie, crackers, walnuts, oxhole cubes, a Yorkshire pudding and potatoes. 13:31.209 --> 13:35.752 You see, they should have that at Eat or one of the popular sandwich outlets, then I would get that. 13:35.952 --> 13:42.696 It really makes you realise how small-minded a lot of sandwich making is, how narrow-minded it is, how limited it is. 13:42.976 --> 13:43.717 Egg and crack. 13:43.917 --> 13:44.758 Yeah, come on. 13:45.119 --> 13:46.260 Where are the teabags? 13:46.761 --> 13:57.295 Here's a man who's put a piece of sandwich, a piece of sandwich, a piece of bread on his head and another underneath his chin and he's put a tomato in his mouth and he looks sad. 13:59.839 --> 14:02.281 His name's Dan in Bethnal Green, a Dan sandwich. 14:02.501 --> 14:05.344 Thanks very much for all those, Black Squadron. 14:05.665 --> 14:07.286 We could just talk about these for the whole show. 14:07.487 --> 14:08.107 Let's do that. 14:08.147 --> 14:09.409 Would that be good for three hours? 14:10.470 --> 14:11.871 Describing unusual sandwiches? 14:11.891 --> 14:15.595 We'll talk about some other stuff for a little while and then go back to the unusual sandwiches. 14:15.635 --> 14:20.320 But before all of that, it has just gone 10.30 and it's time for the news. 14:21.414 --> 14:23.596 The sandwiches are still coming in, the unusual sandwiches. 14:23.856 --> 14:29.280 So we should stand down in the squadron, otherwise this will go on all day and it'll start to ruin people's weekends. 14:29.300 --> 14:32.323 Because the squadron, once they've got a command, they can't stop doing it. 14:32.643 --> 14:33.304 No, exactly. 14:33.684 --> 14:37.047 They need to have a voice of authority tell them to relax. 14:37.227 --> 14:38.648 So let's have the jingle, Ben, please. 14:42.651 --> 14:44.713 Stand down, your work is done. 14:44.733 --> 14:50.157 You've earned yourself a nice warm bath and maybe a nice little bun. 14:51.704 --> 14:59.652 There we go and don't forget you'll be able to see all those unusual sandwiches on bbc.co.uk forward slash blogs forward slash adamandjoe. 15:00.272 --> 15:02.394 Is it all of them or is it a selection of the sandwiches? 15:02.414 --> 15:03.675 All the ones that are fit to print. 15:04.016 --> 15:05.797 Yeah, the nice sandwiches. 15:06.458 --> 15:16.387 Now we were talking about the fact that it's been a lovely hot week earlier and one of the things that happens when the weather gets nice is people start looking nice. 15:17.108 --> 15:18.349 They start wearing less things. 15:18.469 --> 15:19.890 Start wearing less things. 15:20.510 --> 15:28.875 And suddenly the opposite sexes, or sometimes the same sexes, start staring at each other in a new and exciting way. 15:29.516 --> 15:30.637 I don't know if this happens to you. 15:30.677 --> 15:33.438 I mean I think it happens to men most often. 15:34.359 --> 15:35.700 That's a generalisation though. 15:36.400 --> 15:48.511 But you know you find yourself responding to certain primal urges and seeking a mate and checking out that mate making sure that they would be a nice mate. 15:50.292 --> 15:50.793 Hello mate. 15:50.813 --> 15:51.853 Hello mate. 15:51.873 --> 15:52.354 Alright mate. 15:52.374 --> 15:53.135 Exactly that kind of mate. 15:53.155 --> 15:53.955 You live nice mate. 15:54.236 --> 15:56.598 Look at your shorts, they're very short mate. 15:57.078 --> 16:02.002 Is there any way would you like to mate mate? 16:02.082 --> 16:03.764 No beating about the business there. 16:04.384 --> 16:06.046 No, I thought that's what we were doing. 16:06.086 --> 16:07.287 We were going to be direct about it. 16:07.767 --> 16:08.007 Right. 16:08.028 --> 16:09.289 Who sent it in that direction? 16:09.309 --> 16:09.689 Keep talking. 16:10.750 --> 16:15.174 But anyway, you know, the thing is that I don't do any of that anymore because I'm married. 16:15.674 --> 16:16.295 No, no, no. 16:16.475 --> 16:23.782 So since I got married, I stopped looking at women and in that way, I don't do it. 16:24.142 --> 16:28.686 And you know, in fact, the sight of an attractive woman makes me physically sick. 16:28.806 --> 16:29.427 It's men now. 16:30.629 --> 16:32.372 Yeah, it's mainly good-looking men. 16:32.392 --> 16:33.735 Because that's allowed. 16:33.995 --> 16:34.797 Yeah, that's fine. 16:35.819 --> 16:40.808 People often have a sort of, you know, sexual orientation switcheroo mid marriage. 16:42.219 --> 17:00.542 once they've got the family in place do they often change my mind sorry love switcheroo you've been watching my film by todd haynes possibly what was the one with dennis quaid in it where he does that oh i don't know he's gay and he comes out basically and he's living a life nicole kidman 50s america 17:00.842 --> 17:02.283 Yeah, I forget what that's called. 17:02.303 --> 17:03.263 Won loads of awards. 17:03.803 --> 17:06.725 Anyway, um, no, that's not what I'm talking about. 17:07.185 --> 17:10.927 Yes, that is a thing that happens to some men, but that's not currently happening to me. 17:11.107 --> 17:14.188 I don't look at anyone in that way anymore because I don't have those urges. 17:14.248 --> 17:17.069 I'm very, very satisfied and happy with my beautiful wife. 17:17.490 --> 17:20.331 But in the olden days I'm talking about, before all that, 17:20.851 --> 17:37.542 There were times when I'd be in the car, for example, I'd be in the passenger seat and maybe my lady pal would be driving at that point and I would be looking out of the window and I would maybe see a beautiful woman walking along and I would want to, you know, have a quick inspection of her. 17:39.283 --> 17:42.026 Am I making this sound sufficiently creepy? 17:42.346 --> 17:43.788 Are you licensed to inspect? 17:44.068 --> 17:45.129 Well, no, that's the thing. 17:45.229 --> 17:52.636 You're not really licensed to inspect, and so you have to go through various bits of subterfuge and theatre in order to disguise the fact. 17:52.936 --> 17:53.417 You know what I mean? 17:53.697 --> 17:54.638 Yeah, Far From Heaven. 17:55.239 --> 17:58.141 Far From Heaven was the film, the Todd Haynes film, yeah. 17:58.602 --> 18:01.965 But, you know, so you don't want to get busted looking, is what I'm saying. 18:02.506 --> 18:03.567 Have you ever been in this position? 18:04.407 --> 18:05.708 Hmm, yeah, sure. 18:05.909 --> 18:08.531 And have you got any techniques is what I'm driving? 18:08.831 --> 18:10.553 Oh, I see. 18:10.873 --> 18:28.568 Well, one good technique is if you spot an attractive person approaching, kind of jump ahead, figure out what their path of approach will be, and sort of anticipate where the spot that they will occupy in about 15 seconds by looking at something beyond it. 18:29.269 --> 18:30.769 Look at the prices on those TVs! 18:30.949 --> 18:31.249 Ooh! 18:32.510 --> 18:34.910 That woman's walked in front of the TVs! 18:35.910 --> 18:37.711 There she goes, a rude woman, look at her. 18:38.291 --> 18:40.131 Anyway, back to the TVs. 18:40.431 --> 18:41.231 That's a good one. 18:41.471 --> 18:43.292 Rude woman, look at her. 18:43.412 --> 18:44.552 What a rude bottom. 18:44.692 --> 18:46.312 Look at that rude woman. 18:46.612 --> 18:53.014 I use a similar technique sometimes and say, look at the way she's dressed. 18:54.734 --> 18:56.515 That's nearly you're turning into your dad. 18:56.555 --> 19:01.859 Yeah, but then that's what your dad used to do when we were taking to Ibiza beautiful eyes No, very eyes. 19:01.899 --> 19:02.720 Let me the binoculars. 19:02.900 --> 19:10.386 He was nakedly lustful in an inappropriate way, but he's still using sort of Fake kind of fake points of attraction. 19:10.806 --> 19:14.409 I don't think there was anything fake about his points of attraction He would say eyes. 19:14.709 --> 19:21.374 He was photographing the points of attraction in Ibiza as far as I can remember but no, um, I 19:22.074 --> 19:28.640 I'm talking about, yes, just being sort of, you know, disapproving, mock disapprovingness. 19:29.320 --> 19:31.522 It can be dangerous as well when you're driving, can't it? 19:31.863 --> 19:31.963 Yeah. 19:31.983 --> 19:33.304 Well, I'm saying I'm in the passenger seat. 19:33.484 --> 19:33.984 Oh, I see. 19:34.064 --> 19:35.306 The lady pal is driving. 19:35.486 --> 19:39.309 No, I'm not, I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but, but sometimes you could, one can nearly have a little fender bender. 19:39.429 --> 19:39.729 Sure. 19:39.769 --> 19:44.871 Well, when they get sexy ads like big bill posters, the accident rate goes up around those dozens. 19:45.031 --> 19:45.272 Yes. 19:45.332 --> 19:49.533 The hello boys bra at right back in the day caused a lot of true. 19:49.653 --> 19:52.955 I think it is really statistically it's true for for women. 19:53.535 --> 19:55.556 There's a problem with men's pants, isn't there? 19:55.836 --> 19:56.356 What do you mean? 19:56.396 --> 19:58.278 Well, with the low-slung jeans in the summer. 19:58.878 --> 20:01.180 And one can often get a lot of male pant. 20:01.721 --> 20:03.362 And it gets them very hot, is that what you're saying? 20:03.462 --> 20:03.882 I don't know. 20:04.243 --> 20:05.784 I think it must be unattractive for them. 20:06.024 --> 20:08.786 As a man, I find it quite unattractive. 20:08.806 --> 20:13.330 Especially when you're cycling, and the person in front of you hasn't really hoiked their trousers up. 20:13.951 --> 20:16.513 And you can get quite a lot of hairy crack on display. 20:16.553 --> 20:16.793 Yeah. 20:17.321 --> 20:18.782 You're not really allowed to say that. 20:18.802 --> 20:19.563 Of course I am. 20:19.783 --> 20:20.984 Of course I am. 20:21.044 --> 20:21.485 It's fine. 20:21.705 --> 20:23.686 He's talking about the drug. 20:24.227 --> 20:25.768 The gap between the buttocks. 20:25.828 --> 20:27.069 It's a healthy family area. 20:27.089 --> 20:28.811 It's a fun family area. 20:28.831 --> 20:29.471 You know, builders. 20:30.072 --> 20:31.092 Anyone's got to get used to it. 20:31.153 --> 20:31.893 Of course they do. 20:31.933 --> 20:34.796 It's one of Britain's national points of interest. 20:35.396 --> 20:48.240 My other technique, which is a little bit similar to your trajectory technique, is to stare out of the window at said attractive person and then carry on staring afterwards as if I'm looking at buildings and architecture. 20:48.700 --> 20:49.380 Oh, nice. 20:49.601 --> 20:50.021 You know what I mean? 20:50.261 --> 20:52.181 So this is sort of quite highfalutin technique. 20:52.221 --> 20:52.962 Yeah, yeah. 20:53.082 --> 20:55.842 So if I get busted, who are you staring at? 20:56.063 --> 20:57.723 Oh, I'm just looking at those buildings. 20:58.483 --> 21:00.784 The architecture around here is interesting to me. 21:02.164 --> 21:02.565 Look at it. 21:03.025 --> 21:03.705 It's very good. 21:04.409 --> 21:07.830 Anyway, you know, so I'll carry on staring for like way after. 21:08.250 --> 21:09.210 Are you looking at that woman? 21:09.310 --> 21:09.911 Oh, no, he's not. 21:09.971 --> 21:10.271 He's not. 21:10.311 --> 21:14.132 He's looking at the buildings because the woman's gone now and we're just passing buildings. 21:14.292 --> 21:16.392 Should we, are we asking listeners for their techniques? 21:16.712 --> 21:22.254 Well, this isn't necessarily a textination subject, but I certainly wouldn't mind hearing if anyone else has got any top tips. 21:22.714 --> 21:24.255 Yeah, sort of summer problems. 21:24.575 --> 21:27.275 Summer problems, that's the tip of the iceberg for summer problems. 21:27.415 --> 21:35.338 adamandjoeatbbc.co.uk is the email address, or our text number is 64046, and I'd like to apologise for my earlier comment. 21:35.698 --> 21:37.439 You know, I shouldn't have even mentioned it, I don't think it is a big one. 21:37.459 --> 21:38.839 Well I'm going to apologise just in case. 21:39.719 --> 21:40.940 Can't be too careful at the castle. 21:41.040 --> 21:43.180 You can't, I mean, yeah. 21:43.240 --> 21:48.882 Here's one of my favourite bands, this is Metronomy, and this is out on Monday the 11th of April. 21:49.242 --> 21:50.663 Yeah, I was just going to make it worse. 21:52.603 --> 21:54.304 But I stopped myself going back to that. 21:54.764 --> 21:54.984 Yeah. 21:55.024 --> 21:55.264 Okay. 21:55.844 --> 21:59.805 Um, yeah, this is from their third album, the English Riviera also out on Monday. 22:00.165 --> 22:01.026 Haven't heard this before. 22:01.166 --> 22:04.947 I say they're one of my favorite bands and I have not heard this before, but I just liked them. 22:04.967 --> 22:05.367 They're good. 22:05.667 --> 22:05.987 Here we go. 22:06.027 --> 22:11.029 This is the look. 22:11.049 --> 22:14.269 You know, I liked, it's called a work. 22:14.289 --> 22:14.430 Cool. 22:14.450 --> 22:14.630 Kick. 22:15.070 --> 22:16.070 Is it really? 22:16.230 --> 22:16.470 Yeah. 22:16.530 --> 22:17.150 Now work. 22:17.770 --> 22:17.911 Cool. 22:17.931 --> 22:18.111 Kick. 22:18.591 --> 22:19.271 I would believe that. 22:19.958 --> 22:44.999 a scrapey thing scrapey thing you know i like that track the more i heard it uh but it's stripped down i mean it's so stripped down it's practically nude they had to hold themselves back sometimes that's the hardest thing restraint you don't want to over egg it it's like the exact opposite of the go team it's hard you know it's like when you're drawing a picture and you have to tell yourself when to stop right as if you draw one too many color cue exactly might go down the 22:45.279 --> 22:46.521 Toilet, toilet, toilet tube. 22:46.601 --> 22:46.821 Right. 22:47.021 --> 22:48.523 You start putting too much shading in. 22:48.543 --> 22:54.090 And then what I do is in the end I get frustrated and I just have to colour the whole thing in black. 22:54.410 --> 22:54.711 Really? 22:54.931 --> 22:55.972 Just make it a black square? 22:56.052 --> 22:57.414 Yeah, make it a big black square. 22:58.115 --> 22:58.876 Black square of anger. 22:58.896 --> 23:00.418 But that's why you are who you are. 23:01.579 --> 23:02.159 who you are. 23:03.440 --> 23:05.341 Listen to Salomon Joe on BBC6 music. 23:06.041 --> 23:07.542 Thank you very much for listening so far. 23:07.802 --> 23:09.043 Here's a free play from me. 23:09.723 --> 23:14.765 This is by magnetic man and the title is mad asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk. 23:15.466 --> 23:18.007 So you'll have to use your imagination to figure out what that word is. 23:18.427 --> 23:19.147 Um, book. 23:19.868 --> 23:21.809 Here's a mad book by magnetic man. 23:22.629 --> 23:37.580 that's magnetic man with mad asterisk asterisk asterisk asterisk he's magnetic he's an electric magnetic man is an electronic music project consisting of dubstep producers and djs benga scream and artwork they met in the late 90s in croydon 23:38.320 --> 23:43.745 They perform using three computers, one playing drum samples, one playing basses, and the third playing leads and samples. 23:45.126 --> 23:45.767 That's very good. 23:45.807 --> 23:46.508 I love that track. 23:46.528 --> 23:47.409 That's enjoyable. 23:47.449 --> 23:47.729 Thanks. 23:47.869 --> 23:48.710 Where'd you hear about that? 23:49.811 --> 23:50.812 I don't know. 23:50.832 --> 23:54.015 Were you out scratching with a crew? 23:54.035 --> 23:54.315 Yeah. 23:54.715 --> 23:55.997 Yeah, that's what happened. 23:56.617 --> 24:00.802 So, Joe, some friends of mine, right, they have a 13 year old daughter. 24:01.683 --> 24:06.128 And she is a precocious and beautiful young lady. 24:06.809 --> 24:14.097 And she's going through maybe a phase that a lot of young girls go through of being quite materialistic. 24:14.157 --> 24:15.238 I wonder if that's fair to say. 24:16.219 --> 24:20.923 And she sent through this... Well, she's young and the world is full of things. 24:21.024 --> 24:21.444 Yeah, exactly. 24:21.524 --> 24:23.225 And she's getting excited about all the things. 24:23.245 --> 24:24.146 Look at all these things! 24:24.186 --> 24:24.567 All these things. 24:24.587 --> 24:25.447 And she hasn't got any money. 24:25.467 --> 24:28.330 I mean, when you're 13, you don't have the power to buy the things. 24:28.730 --> 24:33.254 Yet the things are being displayed to you in attractive, highly produced commercials left, right and centre. 24:33.594 --> 24:35.136 And kids are... Am I ranting? 24:35.296 --> 24:35.576 No, no. 24:35.716 --> 24:37.077 Kids are bombarded. 24:37.117 --> 24:38.599 They're a prime marketing group. 24:38.619 --> 24:41.321 They get bombarded by all sorts of seductive messages. 24:41.721 --> 24:43.423 So it's a tricky place to be as a kid. 24:44.143 --> 24:47.184 so I think we can have every empathy for this young lady. 24:47.584 --> 24:48.064 That's true. 24:48.104 --> 24:52.645 You know, there's an entire industry designed to try and attract her consumer desires. 24:52.985 --> 24:53.165 Yes. 24:53.205 --> 24:53.405 Right? 24:53.806 --> 25:03.548 But the problem is that her parents are not particularly wealthy, so that it's not very easy for them just to lavish upon her all the things that she desires. 25:03.608 --> 25:04.288 Everyone's a victim. 25:05.428 --> 25:08.229 You know, and that's a thing that's common to a lot of people, isn't it? 25:08.929 --> 25:09.530 Anyway, check out this... 25:11.610 --> 25:15.173 check out this email that she sent to her parents shortly before her birthday. 25:15.193 --> 25:23.681 If you want to spend your money wisely, I suggest you stick to this list and do NOT buy anything other than the items on it, unless you see something which I may like, in which case ask me first or don't get it at all. 25:39.115 --> 25:40.717 And then some of these items are in red. 25:40.897 --> 25:44.061 So she's writing this to people, to prospective gift buyers? 25:44.281 --> 25:44.962 To her parents. 25:45.062 --> 25:46.284 To her parents? 25:46.624 --> 25:47.986 Yeah. 25:48.026 --> 25:53.252 Because she's sick of getting stuff that she doesn't necessarily really like. 25:53.332 --> 25:56.116 And she's doing it as a favour to her parents as well. 25:56.676 --> 26:00.078 Because she doesn't want them to waste their money on the wrong present. 26:00.098 --> 26:06.642 She wants to avoid that situation on birthday day where she has to throw the present right back in their faces and then storm out of the room. 26:07.042 --> 26:08.182 She doesn't want that. 26:08.563 --> 26:10.504 The more you describe this, the more sensible she seems. 26:10.664 --> 26:11.424 Why waste the money? 26:11.464 --> 26:12.805 Target the money very specifically. 26:13.105 --> 26:14.746 If we're going to do this, let's do it right. 26:16.607 --> 26:19.509 There've been a lot of sad occasions in the past where it hasn't gone right. 26:19.549 --> 26:20.350 Let's do it right this year. 26:20.911 --> 26:24.133 In red, she's written on this list, Rihanna tickets. 26:24.413 --> 26:25.374 Must be at least two. 26:25.694 --> 26:26.695 One for me and a friend. 26:27.055 --> 26:29.477 The red items are the ones that are really important. 26:29.898 --> 26:31.119 Beneath that, another red item. 26:31.379 --> 26:34.421 A nice dress, like my grey American apparel one, but sleeveless. 26:35.442 --> 26:35.922 Not in red. 26:36.403 --> 26:37.383 Pretty summery top. 26:37.683 --> 26:38.264 Not a shirt. 26:38.444 --> 26:38.984 Not a tee. 26:39.064 --> 26:39.665 Must be pretty. 26:39.825 --> 26:41.065 Show me what it looks like first. 26:43.527 --> 26:43.927 Earrings. 26:44.147 --> 26:45.688 They must not be my main present though. 26:46.428 --> 26:46.768 In red. 26:47.129 --> 26:47.589 Bikini. 26:47.789 --> 26:49.930 I must try these on and recommend to you one. 26:50.310 --> 26:51.411 So be patient for links. 26:52.252 --> 26:53.252 Be patient for links? 26:53.352 --> 26:55.854 She's going to send links to the kind of tops she likes. 26:56.034 --> 26:56.734 Bikini she likes. 26:57.775 --> 26:58.715 Pants from Topshop. 26:58.955 --> 27:00.076 Very small present. 27:01.266 --> 27:02.827 Yeah, but that's true, isn't it? 27:02.887 --> 27:04.048 Don't make that a big present. 27:04.088 --> 27:06.450 No, that's just a stocking filler. 27:06.491 --> 27:07.551 That is a very small present. 27:07.952 --> 27:12.676 No piece of jewellery to be my main present, as it's small and I don't wear jewellery. 27:12.996 --> 27:15.658 Yeah, size is directly connected to value. 27:15.899 --> 27:16.459 Exactly. 27:17.300 --> 27:22.164 Make-up, possibly some foundation, but I must recommend the colour, brand and style and type. 27:23.217 --> 27:23.877 Spare money? 27:24.637 --> 27:25.398 Always acceptable. 27:26.578 --> 27:27.198 Spare money? 27:27.678 --> 27:29.099 Is there such a thing as spare money? 27:29.219 --> 27:30.699 Sure, everyone's got spare money. 27:30.719 --> 27:33.480 You'll have some of that. 27:34.200 --> 27:36.281 That's stuff you've got in your wallet bulging out, none of that. 27:38.221 --> 27:39.081 Next item on the list. 27:39.361 --> 27:47.544 For someone to paint my wooden desk for me, however, this must be done well and cannot be my only present from this person. 27:47.604 --> 27:51.525 So if they hire a guy to come and do it, he has to bring a gift? 27:52.185 --> 27:52.385 Yeah. 27:53.149 --> 28:16.486 right he needs well you know the girl should specify that gift because what if that gift's wrong well maybe they will forward the list to the guy that paints the desk right and he's got to do a good job though otherwise he's in trouble next item to be allowed to have the whole cupboards and put the towels etc in the chest of drawers in my room and move that into the spare room is that a present 28:17.106 --> 28:19.067 Well, it's something that she wants reorganized. 28:19.107 --> 28:23.349 Well, she's using the opportunity of her birthday to deal with some other stuff in her life. 28:23.369 --> 28:23.569 Exactly. 28:23.589 --> 28:25.470 She has a total control on that day. 28:25.630 --> 28:25.850 Right. 28:25.950 --> 28:26.190 Yeah. 28:26.371 --> 28:27.651 Birthday, it's all about you. 28:27.671 --> 28:31.353 It's not just about material gifts, it's about being able to order other things around in the world. 28:31.373 --> 28:32.894 Make your life just the way you want it. 28:33.114 --> 28:35.275 Next item on the list, no books! 28:35.555 --> 28:36.315 Unless requested. 28:36.575 --> 28:37.396 Oh, that's a shame. 28:39.037 --> 28:43.502 What books just, by definition of being books, are just not worthy of being a gift? 28:43.843 --> 28:44.924 Yeah, they're like a chore. 28:44.944 --> 28:45.765 A book's a chore. 28:45.885 --> 28:47.647 Oh, thanks for getting me a book! 28:47.667 --> 28:50.190 Why don't you just knee me in the julies? 28:50.350 --> 28:51.351 Thanks, Mum. 28:51.871 --> 28:52.112 Book. 28:53.633 --> 28:54.254 That's a shame. 28:55.394 --> 28:58.096 And then final list, also in red, this is an important one. 28:58.636 --> 28:58.857 Fish. 28:59.637 --> 29:04.020 Must include... Must include tank. 29:04.480 --> 29:07.863 Automatic water cleaner, two pretty fish, and decorations for inside. 29:07.983 --> 29:08.343 Wow. 29:08.863 --> 29:10.925 She's quite a pretty nurse Nazi, isn't she? 29:11.185 --> 29:15.187 And then at the end she says as a postscript, this is pretty much everything. 29:15.408 --> 29:17.249 Stick to this list and I'll be happy in the morning. 29:17.489 --> 29:18.730 To make me as happy as possible. 29:19.570 --> 29:25.055 To make me as happy as possible, you'll need to buy me at least three of my most desired things coloured in red. 29:28.238 --> 29:28.618 Wow. 29:29.199 --> 29:36.886 I mean that makes me think of, because in a way she's right, she's trying to make things as happy as possible in red. 29:37.466 --> 29:41.530 But it reminds me of how angry you can get if something goes wrong on your birthday. 29:41.690 --> 29:44.312 Do you remember being furious on your birthday? 29:46.194 --> 29:53.419 Did you remember having a tantrum so bad that you sort of had to remove yourself from the celebrations? 29:54.320 --> 29:58.203 Like people would come for a party but you just couldn't be there because you were so furious. 30:01.966 --> 30:03.087 Oh no, Joe's not here. 30:03.387 --> 30:04.368 Joe's in his room. 30:04.388 --> 30:04.988 He's very angry. 30:05.008 --> 30:06.530 He had a problem earlier today. 30:07.010 --> 30:08.211 He's not coming to the party. 30:08.491 --> 30:11.714 He might come later if he gets better. 30:11.734 --> 30:13.155 Did that ever happen to you? 30:13.375 --> 30:14.456 Yeah, I'm sure it did. 30:14.476 --> 30:15.356 Sure it happened to me. 30:15.717 --> 30:16.237 Oh man. 30:16.517 --> 30:17.178 Wow, what a list. 30:17.218 --> 30:18.359 What an extraordinary lady. 30:18.559 --> 30:21.361 I've got all that to look forward to, of course, because I have a young daughter myself. 30:21.521 --> 30:22.802 Hey, it's the top of the hour. 30:22.922 --> 30:23.623 It's 11 o'clock. 30:23.663 --> 30:24.323 What happens now? 30:24.824 --> 30:25.604 Um, wow. 30:25.864 --> 30:27.706 We should play some kind of a song. 30:28.226 --> 30:28.927 Uh, what have we got? 30:28.987 --> 30:31.729 Here's the Kings of Leon with King of the Rodeo. 30:33.334 --> 30:34.194 What is he saying? 30:34.234 --> 30:35.414 Who taught the Rolos? 30:35.454 --> 30:35.695 Yeah. 30:36.275 --> 30:37.295 Who taught the Rolos? 30:37.635 --> 30:39.315 That's a poorly educated Rolo. 30:39.335 --> 30:40.235 That's a bad Rolo. 30:40.275 --> 30:41.036 What's he doing? 30:41.116 --> 30:41.996 Who taught the Rolo? 30:42.536 --> 30:44.676 He's got a good way of singing that guy, hasn't he? 30:44.716 --> 30:47.877 I mean, he's really invented a whole new way of delivering stuff in there. 30:47.897 --> 30:51.898 We were just thinking there, listeners, in a few weeks we might do some Song Wars action. 30:52.398 --> 30:57.039 And we were thinking that would be a good topic for Song Wars, like invent a way of singing. 30:57.259 --> 30:58.860 An entirely new style of singing. 30:58.880 --> 31:03.043 Yeah, because the thing about the Kings of Leon is you recognize them immediately from his vocal style. 31:03.063 --> 31:04.423 It's completely unique, isn't it? 31:04.664 --> 31:04.904 Yeah. 31:05.064 --> 31:09.546 And that's a valuable thing in rock if you can be recognized purely by the sound of your voice. 31:09.967 --> 31:16.050 So a good Song Wars thing to do would be to do a song each which had a particularly unique vocal style. 31:16.090 --> 31:19.172 We try and innovate a brand new vocal style. 31:19.232 --> 31:22.854 What if we did the same song so that it's like a control, you know? 31:24.195 --> 31:24.295 Mmm. 31:24.316 --> 31:24.916 How would we do that? 31:24.936 --> 31:25.657 Would it be a cover? 31:25.877 --> 31:26.137 Yeah? 31:26.177 --> 31:41.910 Yeah, so if we got if we got maybe a good idea karaoke backing track or something Yeah, that's good idea and what he does there as well in the Kings of Leon song is not only does he have a weird sort of Yippy way of singing he does stuff structurally and in terms of delivery. 31:41.950 --> 31:43.431 That's quite weird as well doesn't it? 31:43.832 --> 31:44.652 They're a good band. 31:44.793 --> 31:45.273 They are good 31:45.393 --> 31:47.095 They get slagged off for selling out all the time. 31:47.115 --> 31:47.815 Not by me. 31:48.316 --> 31:48.696 Not by me. 31:48.716 --> 31:49.677 Not by me either. 31:50.959 --> 31:56.985 There's a weird video of them on YouTube playing at Reading a few years back where apparently they just hacked off. 31:57.005 --> 32:01.529 They're having a bad gig and they just throw the song. 32:01.549 --> 32:02.370 Have you seen that Ben? 32:02.390 --> 32:06.114 And they just play like an incredibly bad version of one of their songs deliberately. 32:06.734 --> 32:10.655 and just sort of playing weird notes all over the place and singing out of tune. 32:10.815 --> 32:17.597 At first I watched it and I couldn't figure out if someone had dubbed over it to make it sound deliberately bad or if it was them just being weird themselves. 32:17.677 --> 32:18.517 It's quite perplexing. 32:19.097 --> 32:23.418 I think you can find it if you search for Kings of Leon worst ever live performance or something. 32:24.078 --> 32:34.081 So listen, that fascinating email you just read out Adam before the song from your young lady friend, we forgot to mention that that is the subject of this week's Text the Nation. 32:34.341 --> 32:46.289 yeah and and it would be sort of messages that you have sent that you regret sending maybe really or or is it furious birthday birthday fury well yes it is now 32:51.015 --> 32:51.915 Let's have a think about it. 32:51.955 --> 32:54.777 We should play, let's play the jingle and we can have a think about it while we hear the jingle. 32:54.797 --> 32:55.877 Okay, this is a new jingle. 32:55.957 --> 33:02.860 It was sent in, the backing track was sent in I think by Chris Cairns, our old pal Chris Cairns here on the show. 33:02.880 --> 33:04.541 I think he sent in stuff before. 33:04.961 --> 33:10.824 And he sent a kind of Cuban version of the Textination jingle, which I, he invited me to sing over. 33:11.844 --> 33:17.167 And I just played it to Joe and he was looking a bit worried and he said, oh, I think this might be racist at the top. 33:19.668 --> 33:22.071 Have a listen and see what you think, listeners. 33:41.012 --> 33:44.494 It's square confused, in case you haven't gathered that already, listeners. 33:44.534 --> 33:46.654 We're not sure what accents are okay or not. 33:46.674 --> 33:50.396 I mean, sometimes we do our very accurate Australian accents. 33:50.436 --> 33:52.336 I checked that Australian accent this week. 33:52.356 --> 33:57.018 I did a live gig at the BFI with some Australian people in the audience and I checked with them and they were fine. 33:57.138 --> 33:59.139 They were fine, but they don't represent all Australians. 33:59.159 --> 34:00.299 Some Australians might get annoyed. 34:00.339 --> 34:01.140 I asked them if they did. 34:01.180 --> 34:01.760 They said they did. 34:02.000 --> 34:04.641 And so today we're testing the waters with the Cuban accent. 34:05.061 --> 34:06.102 Yeah. 34:08.602 --> 34:12.904 It starts out sounding faintly Jamaican is the problem there as well when I started doing it. 34:13.024 --> 34:13.284 Yeah. 34:14.045 --> 34:16.706 So that's more your problem than anyone else's. 34:16.846 --> 34:17.226 That's true. 34:17.246 --> 34:17.786 That's true. 34:17.826 --> 34:17.926 Yeah. 34:18.066 --> 34:23.191 But I think I rescued it when I did the grotesque kind of speedy Gonzales Mexican accent. 34:23.451 --> 34:26.353 So the subject of Text the Nation is going to be birthday disasters. 34:26.694 --> 34:29.076 Birthday fury, birthday disasters. 34:29.997 --> 34:31.138 Get your stories coming in. 34:32.118 --> 34:34.100 64046 is the text number. 34:34.441 --> 34:37.563 The email is adamandjoeatbbc.co.uk. 34:37.683 --> 34:39.205 Please send us things. 34:39.725 --> 34:41.306 Yeah, we'd really like to hear from you. 34:41.686 --> 34:44.387 And also later on, we're going to have retro text the nation. 34:45.608 --> 34:47.328 Is that in the show or the podcast? 34:47.348 --> 34:48.409 We do it in the live show. 34:48.429 --> 34:48.709 Do we? 34:48.749 --> 34:49.750 Well, yeah, do we? 34:50.430 --> 34:55.172 Because generally, that's the way it works is that we don't get so many emails for the 34:55.592 --> 35:09.608 Current text the nation's subject then they build up during the week and I'm gesticulating here and Joe's imitating my gesticulation gesticulation So yeah, and and the subject last week of course was incredibly broad. 35:09.628 --> 35:14.413 I'm having trouble speaking It was what have you been doing 35:16.115 --> 35:19.116 Wow, so I look forward to catching up with some of those anecdotes you sent in. 35:19.156 --> 35:20.636 I've got, there are some good ones, I've got some good ones. 35:20.656 --> 35:21.816 Yeah, I've got a couple of good ones as well. 35:21.836 --> 35:23.917 Depending on what you mean, what one means by good. 35:24.117 --> 35:27.197 But I'll tell you, the other thing that we had loads of this week was made-up jokes. 35:27.417 --> 35:29.278 And I thought the standard was quite high. 35:29.538 --> 35:29.858 Really? 35:30.178 --> 35:31.338 That's disturbing. 35:31.358 --> 35:33.278 I thought it was pretty good. 35:33.298 --> 35:34.139 Doesn't bode well. 35:34.259 --> 35:35.779 Can we have some after this next song? 35:36.039 --> 35:36.259 Yes. 35:36.319 --> 35:38.079 Come on, let's have some made-up jokes after this. 35:38.159 --> 35:41.060 But right now, it's time for the strokes taken for a fool. 35:42.498 --> 35:45.081 That is absolutely hat stand. 35:45.942 --> 35:49.425 Kate Bush there from her 1982 album, The Dreaming. 35:49.725 --> 35:50.987 What was she thinking? 35:52.188 --> 35:52.588 Okay. 35:52.828 --> 35:57.893 Thanks for joining us very much indeed on the six music morning show here at Sadam and Joe. 35:57.913 --> 36:03.319 And we've got some laughs coming your way right now because it's time for our favourite feature and your favourite feature too, I think. 36:03.679 --> 36:05.321 It's made up joke time. 36:05.341 --> 36:05.962 Let's play the jingle. 36:06.762 --> 36:23.630 I'm a funny person, I often make up jokes My jokes are more amusing than those of other folks When you hear my joke I think you'll find that you agree Come on, you're all invited to a made-up joke party 36:24.830 --> 36:39.991 yeah it's made up joke time here on the adam and joe show on bbc6 music i was making their show sound more fun there don't you think wow it was really good it was upbeat yeah it was sort of like um hospital radio for uh a really a hospital for really serious serious illnesses 36:41.833 --> 36:44.175 Because it's the equal and opposite level of upbeatness. 36:44.375 --> 36:47.337 My DJ references are all from around 15 or 20 years ago. 36:47.537 --> 36:47.898 I love them. 36:48.298 --> 36:48.918 Thank you very much. 36:49.279 --> 36:55.143 So the idea of made-up jokes, listeners, right, is they must be jokes that you have made up. 36:55.784 --> 36:56.404 Simple as that. 36:57.325 --> 36:59.186 And we put them to the Tim Vine test. 36:59.927 --> 37:01.348 Tim Vine doesn't know about this test. 37:01.668 --> 37:04.490 They should be specially designed by Haha Architects. 37:04.990 --> 37:05.271 Nice. 37:05.951 --> 37:10.755 But you know, it's just a question of thinking about them and, you know, are they too obvious? 37:11.396 --> 37:14.758 If they're too obvious, then the likelihood is they will have been cracked before. 37:14.898 --> 37:15.999 We Google some of them. 37:16.119 --> 37:16.980 We check them for cracks. 37:18.041 --> 37:18.902 Not cracks again. 37:18.922 --> 37:21.284 Do we check them for hairy cracks? 37:21.304 --> 37:22.444 No! 37:23.285 --> 37:26.828 I'll just tell you a joke that my son told me this week that he made up. 37:27.629 --> 37:28.229 How old is your son? 37:28.730 --> 37:29.510 He's six years old. 37:29.991 --> 37:30.931 This is Natty's joke. 37:31.071 --> 37:31.432 Knock knock. 37:31.792 --> 37:32.392 Who's there? 37:32.593 --> 37:32.973 Beano. 37:33.473 --> 37:34.134 Beano who? 37:34.574 --> 37:35.235 Beano we know. 37:36.285 --> 37:36.965 That's good! 37:37.705 --> 37:38.846 Oh, it's not finished yet? 37:39.026 --> 37:39.626 No, that's it. 37:39.666 --> 37:40.586 Oh, that is finished yet. 37:40.646 --> 37:41.346 Excellent. 37:41.646 --> 37:44.287 That's funny, because I wasn't expecting the wiener. 37:44.307 --> 37:45.147 Well, exactly. 37:45.207 --> 37:45.887 Well done, Natty. 37:45.907 --> 37:47.588 That's the secret of comedy, a surprise. 37:47.608 --> 37:48.788 Do you want to hear one more from Natty? 37:49.068 --> 37:50.448 Yes, this is from Natty, yeah. 37:51.048 --> 37:55.029 What did the worm say to the man when the man put earth on the worm's body? 37:55.049 --> 37:56.069 I don't know. 37:56.370 --> 37:57.750 Thank you, I'll just have a slither. 37:58.670 --> 38:00.472 Oh that's nice because he's going to slither away. 38:00.853 --> 38:01.093 Yeah. 38:01.213 --> 38:02.394 And he doesn't want that much earth. 38:02.654 --> 38:03.535 That's good. 38:03.555 --> 38:04.256 It's not bad is it? 38:04.276 --> 38:05.698 That's very very promising. 38:07.159 --> 38:09.582 So here are some jokes made up by you listeners. 38:11.064 --> 38:12.105 Now who done this one? 38:13.106 --> 38:13.646 Bear with me. 38:13.826 --> 38:15.288 This one is from Michael Singleton. 38:15.929 --> 38:16.289 It says, 38:17.530 --> 38:19.992 Hi Adam and Joe, here's my 100% made-up joke. 38:20.593 --> 38:30.341 A man received an invitation to join a competition, the purpose of which was to find out which black American comedy actor owned the heaviest collection of objects made from elephant tusk. 38:30.961 --> 38:32.362 Needless to say, he accepted. 38:33.003 --> 38:35.445 That man was Keenan Ivory Wayans. 38:36.278 --> 38:57.608 yes yes come on on ivory wayans yes now that's made up you see it's so convoluted yeah that it has to be made up well done michael that's very good michael um here is uh a little uh pair of peaches right now from let's see uh who's this from alex in norwich he says guys 38:58.268 --> 39:03.871 Last winter, my friend Matt and I were stuck in a house in freezing Amsterdam, killing time by making up jokes. 39:04.171 --> 39:06.572 We've been waiting over a year to send them on. 39:07.272 --> 39:09.493 And it's been well worth the wait, as you will see. 39:10.193 --> 39:14.095 Why is Sir Alec Guinness the only actor from Star Wars to get a knighthood? 39:15.516 --> 39:22.339 Because only one can no be... Because only one can no be... 39:24.104 --> 39:26.245 Because only one can OBE. 39:26.305 --> 39:26.605 Yeah. 39:27.945 --> 39:30.246 I mean, that's silly because that's not true. 39:31.126 --> 39:34.146 You know, any number of people from Star Wars could have got an OBE. 39:34.206 --> 39:35.747 Yeah, but they were in Amsterdam. 39:36.867 --> 39:37.747 But that's pretty good. 39:37.867 --> 39:40.548 Why is Sir Alec Guinness the only actor from Star Wars to get a knighthood? 39:40.748 --> 39:41.888 Maybe they were overexcited. 39:42.008 --> 39:42.829 And here's the other one. 39:43.389 --> 39:48.530 The other day, I walked into a London pub to find Burt Reynolds puffing away on a cigar. 39:48.890 --> 39:50.310 I cried out in disgust. 39:50.831 --> 39:52.451 It's Smokey and they've banned it! 39:52.871 --> 39:53.512 That's good. 39:53.892 --> 39:54.512 That's good. 39:54.532 --> 39:55.353 That's really good. 39:55.373 --> 39:55.773 Who's that by? 39:55.793 --> 39:56.233 Who's that by? 39:56.313 --> 39:57.094 Alex and Norwich. 39:57.294 --> 39:57.714 Superb. 39:57.754 --> 39:59.816 Here's another sort of Star Wars-y one. 40:00.516 --> 40:02.257 This is from Richard in the Forest of Dean. 40:02.698 --> 40:04.839 What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's favorite fragrance? 40:05.880 --> 40:06.720 Yoda toilette. 40:07.281 --> 40:07.561 Nice. 40:07.621 --> 40:08.121 Is that new? 40:08.141 --> 40:09.502 Do you think that's been made up before? 40:09.562 --> 40:10.403 It sounds too good. 40:10.463 --> 40:11.163 It sounds very good. 40:11.183 --> 40:11.804 It's a bit slick. 40:11.824 --> 40:13.485 He's either a genius or a plagiarist. 40:13.965 --> 40:15.646 Here's one from Gordon Cameron. 40:16.667 --> 40:17.768 This is a conversational one. 40:17.828 --> 40:18.668 Here's my made up joke. 40:19.069 --> 40:21.770 I have Google vetted it and I'm confident it is original. 40:21.951 --> 40:22.491 Says Gordon. 40:23.031 --> 40:23.231 Hey! 40:24.371 --> 40:24.891 I'm talking to you. 40:25.012 --> 40:25.852 I like the conversation. 40:25.892 --> 40:26.092 Hey! 40:26.212 --> 40:26.412 Hey! 40:26.812 --> 40:26.992 Hey! 40:27.132 --> 40:31.133 Did you know some people use feather-filled sheets as bedding? 40:31.153 --> 40:32.173 I didn't know that. 40:32.353 --> 40:33.433 You reply, duvet? 40:34.214 --> 40:35.334 That's probably very old, isn't it? 40:35.674 --> 40:37.294 Even as I say it out loud, that's probably very old. 40:37.474 --> 40:38.995 Duvet, that must be old. 40:39.075 --> 40:39.715 That must be old. 40:39.995 --> 40:42.055 Oh, I should have figured that out. 40:42.115 --> 40:44.876 Here's one from Jamie Rowland in Kent. 40:45.956 --> 40:48.258 He says, this is a joke I made up about a year ago. 40:48.338 --> 40:49.339 I was most pleased. 40:49.899 --> 40:53.722 Why does Ronnie Corbett's wife get embarrassed when they go clothes shopping together? 40:53.742 --> 40:55.203 Hey, this is good. 40:55.243 --> 40:55.823 I like this one. 40:56.324 --> 40:58.365 Because Ronnie always gets a little shirty. 40:59.186 --> 41:00.226 Is that new as well? 41:00.306 --> 41:02.468 I'm starting to feel that some of these might be old. 41:02.908 --> 41:19.140 it's tough isn't it because some when when they get really good and they're really succinct and nicely done you sort of think they're not mangled you see what we'd really like listeners is for you to give send in your joke but also tell us the story about how you made it up the provenance yeah because the more information we have the more we can tell if you are lying 41:19.941 --> 41:20.482 Got another one there? 41:20.662 --> 41:23.925 Yeah, what did Michael Jackson use to say to his breakfast? 41:25.467 --> 41:27.469 To see if it was cooked just right. 41:27.569 --> 41:29.631 Michael Jackson's the backbone of any joke factory. 41:30.232 --> 41:31.073 Eggy, are you yokey? 41:31.714 --> 41:32.314 Are you yokey? 41:32.715 --> 41:33.696 Are you yokey, Eggy? 41:35.217 --> 41:35.998 I read that one. 41:36.158 --> 41:37.298 That's Keith from Paisley. 41:37.318 --> 41:38.899 Yeah, I read it and I thought the opposite. 41:39.999 --> 41:41.160 Well, I went for a different one. 41:41.500 --> 41:44.382 This is from Mark Brady from Chappleton. 41:44.862 --> 41:51.245 Did you hear that Akira Kurosawa was planning on directing a film featuring Michael Jackson as an Egyptian sun god? 41:51.745 --> 41:53.846 It was called Ra Shamong. 41:54.887 --> 41:55.487 That's good. 41:55.547 --> 41:56.507 That's sophisticated. 41:56.527 --> 41:56.868 Yeah. 41:58.540 --> 42:00.422 Oh yeah, I'm just reading my other ones. 42:00.482 --> 42:01.703 We can have some more later on. 42:01.783 --> 42:02.684 Shall we have some more later on? 42:02.704 --> 42:04.265 Yeah, let's do some more because I've still got more. 42:04.425 --> 42:06.647 Oh no, hang on, let me do one more because it's funny. 42:07.147 --> 42:07.888 Tom from Durham. 42:07.928 --> 42:10.029 Dear Adam and Joe, I've been telling this joke for a while. 42:10.189 --> 42:12.852 I'm very proud of its simplicity and I think it works well. 42:13.392 --> 42:15.333 I'd be very happy if it reached a wider audience. 42:16.675 --> 42:18.976 Why did the puma get on well with other pumas? 42:19.617 --> 42:20.778 He had a good sense of puma. 42:22.096 --> 42:22.396 What? 42:22.436 --> 42:23.056 You went for that one? 42:23.076 --> 42:23.476 Come on, that's good. 42:23.556 --> 42:23.976 It's good. 42:24.596 --> 42:26.017 It's funny because nothing really happens. 42:26.037 --> 42:26.837 Good sense of puma. 42:26.857 --> 42:27.437 Yeah, it's funny. 42:27.497 --> 42:28.137 Come on, it's funny. 42:28.657 --> 42:29.978 Because it says puma three times. 42:30.398 --> 42:31.298 I find that funny, Tom. 42:31.658 --> 42:33.258 If you and I were in company, we'd be laughing. 42:33.318 --> 42:34.658 Adam would be getting annoyed. 42:35.879 --> 42:37.279 All right, here's a free play right now. 42:37.799 --> 42:42.360 This is The Feelies, and they were around in the early 80s. 42:42.540 --> 42:44.020 This is from their second album. 42:44.300 --> 42:46.961 You know the film Something Wild, directed by Jonathan Demme? 42:47.001 --> 42:47.361 Yeah, great film. 42:48.021 --> 42:54.067 And there's a scene where they go to a school reunion, and there's a band playing on the stage there, and that band was the Feelies. 42:54.468 --> 42:58.092 And they were playing covers of, I think, a Monkeys song and something else. 42:58.412 --> 43:02.436 But anyway, this is them covering the Beatles track, She Said, She Said. 43:02.576 --> 43:02.917 Enjoy! 43:04.977 --> 43:07.359 That's the feelies with She Said, She Said. 43:07.379 --> 43:10.481 You're listening to Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music on a Saturday morning. 43:10.541 --> 43:11.742 Very nice to be with you listeners. 43:11.762 --> 43:14.404 A bit of housekeeping we should do right now. 43:14.704 --> 43:25.112 A few people have been asking us why we don't feature in the Six Music TV ad campaign and they were wondering if we had been excluded for any particular reason. 43:25.392 --> 43:26.193 It was just bad luck. 43:26.233 --> 43:29.816 We were invited to be in the campaign but we weren't around at that point. 43:30.576 --> 43:34.537 Sadly, but I wonder if there's any way that we could be digitally added or something. 43:34.738 --> 43:35.138 There is. 43:35.618 --> 43:39.579 I mean, it would be expensive, George, but the way you do it is by digitally adding us. 43:39.979 --> 43:40.700 Right, right, right. 43:40.720 --> 43:42.060 That's how you digitally add things. 43:42.100 --> 43:42.960 Do you think it's worth it? 43:43.000 --> 43:46.882 Because I mean, I'm sure a lot of people are very angry that we're not in there. 43:46.902 --> 43:47.642 They'd have to pull it. 43:48.142 --> 43:48.322 Right. 43:48.422 --> 43:50.943 They'd lose a lot of revenue because they probably paid money. 43:51.343 --> 43:53.144 Maybe BBC internal market. 43:54.286 --> 43:57.452 And then they'd have to digitally add us, which means they'd have to probably motion capture us. 43:58.154 --> 44:01.681 So we'd probably have to be flown out to giant studios in Los Angeles. 44:02.500 --> 44:03.221 You'd be motion captured. 44:03.401 --> 44:04.462 That's the best studio, isn't it? 44:04.522 --> 44:05.443 That's the number one studio. 44:05.843 --> 44:07.085 And then they'd have to put us in there. 44:07.345 --> 44:08.806 So it would be expensive, but it's doable. 44:09.147 --> 44:11.129 Well, you know, we'd very much like that to happen. 44:11.189 --> 44:13.571 So if anyone knows anyone, then can you sort it? 44:13.891 --> 44:20.498 The other thing was that last week we were talking about the Wonderful Wonders of the Universe series and riffing on the contents therein. 44:21.179 --> 44:26.184 And we were making references to Mr. Cox being called David. 44:26.864 --> 44:49.541 I called professor Brian Cox David I've got a friend called David Cox and I I messed up the name slipped in my head and so I misnamed him just once during that link and then they they used that misnaming for the trail right they played that trail where I misnamed him over and over again so maybe they didn't notice that rubbing it in your face I got confused while you were talking about it I was like Brian Cox isn't he the actor or Ronnie Cox 44:50.402 --> 44:52.965 But we were excited to get the following email from Chris Holt. 44:53.365 --> 44:57.009 It says, dear Adam and Joe, it is with great sadness that I write this email. 44:57.469 --> 45:03.315 I am the writer and director of the episode of Wonders of the Universe that you so mercilessly savaged on your show last week. 45:03.615 --> 45:08.440 How dare you mock some of the most interesting and moving television that has been made in the past 10 years? 45:08.901 --> 45:12.364 He probably would have liked you to have read that out, Adam, in a furious voice. 45:12.404 --> 45:12.925 How dare you? 45:13.565 --> 45:34.316 How dare you mock some of the most interesting and moving television that has been made in the past ten years, after slaving away in some of the most hostile, uncomfortable and freezing locations in the world to create wonders, and then to be savagely critiqued by two men you once held so dear, is the final and fatal stab in the heart. 45:34.597 --> 45:37.638 Do you think it's easy working with the mop-topped professor? 45:37.878 --> 45:38.499 Well do you? 45:40.413 --> 45:41.194 Only kidding, chaps. 45:41.454 --> 45:43.355 I heard it on the podcast on my way to work. 45:43.435 --> 45:46.037 It was so funny, I nearly cried orange juice. 45:46.257 --> 45:48.458 That's a nice expression that you haven't heard before. 45:48.759 --> 45:51.500 Thanks a billion, billion, billion, billion, billion, billion, billion. 45:51.801 --> 45:52.261 Chris Holt. 45:52.461 --> 45:52.721 Wow. 45:52.761 --> 45:53.962 That's so nice of you, Chris Holt. 45:54.002 --> 45:54.623 Thank you very much. 45:54.683 --> 45:57.725 And really sorry to call Mr. Cox, um, David. 45:58.725 --> 45:59.406 Right the way through. 45:59.646 --> 46:07.971 And our resident illustrator here at the Adam and Joe show, James Hood, has done a wonderful illustration of that nonsense parcel. 46:08.111 --> 46:16.637 I hope James is going to be sort of illustrating the contents of the shows, or at least the highlights as he sees them, every week and that's something that you can see on the blog. 46:16.837 --> 46:18.218 Is this image available on the blog? 46:18.798 --> 46:20.198 Well it will be after this show. 46:20.278 --> 46:26.101 The address for the blog incidentally is bbc.co.uk slash blogs slash adamandjoe. 46:26.361 --> 46:26.961 Simple as that. 46:27.261 --> 46:28.882 And has he made you look any more handsome this week? 46:28.902 --> 46:29.342 He has. 46:29.542 --> 46:41.307 I complained that he'd, you know, caricatured me in an unflattering way, which is possibly, you know, makes me like incredibly unfeasibly vain and pathetic. 46:42.128 --> 46:47.795 But as a result, he has capitulated to my pathetic vaneness, and James has given me a chin. 46:48.075 --> 46:48.415 Thanks! 46:48.536 --> 46:51.559 Not only has he given you a chin, but he's made you like a hunky spaceman. 46:51.599 --> 46:53.281 He's drawn us floating around in space. 46:53.301 --> 46:57.567 Yeah, he's given me a six-pack, and a sort of a codpiece. 46:58.147 --> 47:07.458 Whereas Count Buckules remains the same with the monobrow and the rotund face and he's rotated your head, I'd say sort of 45 degrees anti-clockwise. 47:07.478 --> 47:12.243 He's actually made me look a little bit better than I do at the moment, I think. 47:13.364 --> 47:39.749 um yeah and he's made you've got a better approach to this fantastic you're happy that he's made you look worse and i'm complaining about you know i know i'm caricatured yeah yeah i'm happy that he's made me look good like an actual person hey incidentally one more bit of um correspondence that came in after we were talking about something last week we were discussing the fact that i was worried self-conscious about waggling the petrol nozzle at the petrol station you know let me read this are you 47:40.169 --> 47:42.090 Um, yeah, I thought this was an interesting observation. 47:42.110 --> 47:43.251 The hot water bottle thing? 47:43.371 --> 47:44.752 Yeah, from Neil Hilland. 47:45.793 --> 47:49.275 I observed recently that when a lady fills a hole... No, no, no, no, listen. 47:49.635 --> 47:49.855 What? 47:49.895 --> 47:52.917 Just let's talk about this and then come back to it after the news. 47:52.937 --> 47:53.958 Is that not appropriate? 47:53.978 --> 47:55.379 Well, let's just have a little chat about it. 47:55.439 --> 47:58.781 And then come back to it after the news. 47:59.201 --> 48:05.866 I think he may be being euphemistic, and I think you don't... I know he is, but I thought it was sufficiently euphemistic, but now you've highlighted the euphemosity. 48:08.168 --> 48:13.277 Listen, I had a bad experience with a hairy crack earlier in the show and I just don't want you to fall into the same trap. 48:13.298 --> 48:15.782 You're allowed the hairy crack and I'm not allowed the water bottle. 48:16.383 --> 48:16.944 Um, okay. 48:16.985 --> 48:18.207 It's time for the news at 1130. 48:20.003 --> 48:21.584 The Manic Street Preachers. 48:21.604 --> 48:23.925 If you tolerate this, your children will be next. 48:24.185 --> 48:27.027 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6Music. 48:27.487 --> 48:29.568 Shall we have the textination jingle, Ben? 48:29.868 --> 48:31.029 Just maybe. 48:32.110 --> 48:32.930 Textination. 48:32.970 --> 48:33.250 Text. 48:33.350 --> 48:33.630 Text. 48:33.691 --> 48:34.031 Text. 48:34.151 --> 48:34.871 Textination. 48:34.951 --> 48:35.932 What if I don't want to? 48:36.172 --> 48:36.872 Textination. 48:36.892 --> 48:37.973 But I'm using email. 48:38.173 --> 48:38.893 Is that a problem? 48:38.913 --> 48:39.474 It doesn't matter. 48:39.514 --> 48:39.754 Text. 48:42.270 --> 48:42.490 Yes. 48:42.870 --> 48:44.432 Uh, it's text the nation time listeners. 48:44.472 --> 48:47.034 The subject this week is birthday flip outs. 48:47.554 --> 48:51.457 I call it flip outs because we've just got an email from Lindsay who describes it that way. 48:51.497 --> 48:55.280 I haven't read the actual email, but her email heading is birthday flip outs. 48:55.300 --> 48:58.262 That's a good way of describing it when you get furious on your birthday. 48:58.502 --> 48:58.702 Yeah. 48:58.762 --> 49:00.484 And it's a, you know, it's a very emotional time. 49:00.744 --> 49:02.365 Do you still really love your birthday? 49:02.385 --> 49:03.186 Look forward to your birthday. 49:03.206 --> 49:03.626 Celebrate. 49:03.886 --> 49:04.106 Yeah. 49:04.867 --> 49:05.387 Quite like it. 49:05.568 --> 49:05.768 Yeah. 49:06.208 --> 49:07.269 I've kind of phased it out. 49:07.665 --> 49:08.685 Really, what, the excitement? 49:08.865 --> 49:12.046 The excitement, yeah, because my whole life is like a big long birthday. 49:12.066 --> 49:12.347 Really? 49:12.427 --> 49:12.667 Yeah. 49:13.287 --> 49:19.589 I feel very lucky in many ways and so it just seems slightly meaningless to me to focus all on one day. 49:19.609 --> 49:20.429 Good job, banal. 49:20.629 --> 49:21.369 Thank you very much. 49:21.389 --> 49:21.970 It's alright. 49:26.631 --> 49:30.996 So listen, here are some of the communications we've had in about birthday flip-outs. 49:31.056 --> 49:33.258 Tim Weissberg says, Good morning. 49:33.918 --> 49:39.304 I've put disaster in quotation marks in the subject because at the time it was, but with hindsight, maybe not. 49:39.864 --> 49:42.207 On my seventh birthday, we were playing musical statues. 49:42.627 --> 49:44.329 The song was bad by Michael Jackson. 49:44.849 --> 49:49.234 I had a plan to freeze in the classic Jacko pose of the Upwards Point when the song finished. 49:49.754 --> 50:00.189 However, the referee, my dad, decided that I moved during a period of silence before the end of the song and eliminated me from the game, thus thwarting my brilliant plan. 50:00.650 --> 50:04.796 Cue tantrum and a period of sulking in the kitchen while the party continued in the other room. 50:06.719 --> 50:16.427 The thing that I like about that is I can picture him in the pose and so excited that he's done the Michael Jackson pose but then the finger waving and when your own dad betrays you in that way. 50:16.707 --> 50:18.369 I mean what are you thinking about dad? 50:18.409 --> 50:21.472 Dad was obviously striving too hard to be impartial wasn't he? 50:21.532 --> 50:25.655 He was trying to teach his kid a life lesson but a birthday is not the day to be taught a life lesson. 50:26.736 --> 50:28.778 Here's one from Laura in Sheffield. 50:28.798 --> 50:29.198 It is ridiculous! 50:45.293 --> 50:47.554 Why would you want to watch Thundercats over Henry's cat? 50:47.574 --> 50:50.055 I mean, parents should understand that the child is in charge. 50:50.635 --> 50:56.257 And if the birthday boy or girl wants to watch Henry's cat, then that is what should happen. 50:56.538 --> 50:58.899 But it's difficult though because you're always... No, I don't think it is. 50:59.079 --> 50:59.399 Do you not? 50:59.599 --> 50:59.739 No. 50:59.759 --> 51:02.300 I mean, what possible, you know, what could go wrong there? 51:02.660 --> 51:06.923 On your birthday, it should be, everything should be just geared towards what you want. 51:07.163 --> 51:08.364 Every whim should be indulged. 51:08.404 --> 51:08.985 Is that what you're saying? 51:09.085 --> 51:12.367 Even if everyone else is having an awful, awful, awful time. 51:13.608 --> 51:14.989 I tend to get overexcited. 51:15.089 --> 51:20.493 I think I may have told you this story before when I was playing past the parcel at a birthday party one time. 51:20.833 --> 51:32.301 I must have been about six or something and we were passing this object round and round and it was a sort of, it turned out to be a, um, you know, telescope. 51:32.501 --> 51:33.841 It's like a telescope thing. 51:34.021 --> 51:35.502 Oh like a kaleidoscope. 51:36.162 --> 51:43.524 And so it was quite heavy cylindrical object and I was getting really overexcited and the girl I was sitting next to was really nice adorable girl. 51:43.544 --> 51:45.044 She was called Atalanta I think. 51:45.624 --> 51:53.306 And so I at one point thought it would be funny if I when the parcel came round to me I said I grabbed it and in my mind playfully whacked her on the head with it. 51:54.026 --> 51:55.527 And she started howling in pain. 51:56.147 --> 52:03.112 crying and then her mother came over and yanked me out of the circle and ejected me from the party. 52:03.272 --> 52:03.792 Quite right. 52:04.773 --> 52:05.653 How was that? 52:06.234 --> 52:07.455 I mean it was quite right of her. 52:07.855 --> 52:09.616 Here's one from Robin Hastings. 52:09.716 --> 52:12.818 I received a jumper from my aunt for my seventh birthday. 52:13.399 --> 52:15.660 I threw it at her and then I had to go home. 52:16.040 --> 52:17.261 I'm still angry 30 years later. 52:18.582 --> 52:21.383 I mean, what possible interest does a seven-year-old boy have in knitwear? 52:21.623 --> 52:22.524 Yeah. 52:22.804 --> 52:25.265 Quite a lot of people haven't worked these things through yet. 52:25.825 --> 52:26.025 I know. 52:26.045 --> 52:27.065 There's still fury. 52:27.105 --> 52:28.846 Here's another one from CJ in Edinburgh. 52:29.346 --> 52:35.109 I had a birthday party at a swimming pool with slides and stuff when I was about 10, with food provided and everything. 52:35.729 --> 52:37.450 Only one of my pals turned up. 52:37.610 --> 52:38.050 Oh, mate. 52:38.090 --> 52:38.810 I was gutted. 52:38.870 --> 52:40.331 I cried most of the day. 52:41.031 --> 52:41.731 These are sad. 52:41.791 --> 52:42.612 How old is he? 52:43.672 --> 52:44.833 Uh, he doesn't say. 52:44.953 --> 52:45.273 Oh, 10. 52:45.513 --> 52:45.633 No, 10. 52:45.673 --> 52:45.633 10. 52:45.913 --> 52:47.094 And how old is he now, I wonder? 52:48.374 --> 52:49.235 Yeah, I don't know. 52:49.255 --> 52:58.687 The worst thing is that he still remembers it, because you hope when you see these things happening to your own children, which they occasionally do, you sort of think, oh, they won't remember. 52:58.727 --> 52:59.327 It's indelible. 52:59.568 --> 53:00.569 It's indelible. 53:00.889 --> 53:02.451 Life is like a big indelible pen. 53:02.752 --> 53:04.314 Here's one from Trish in Bristol. 53:04.674 --> 53:07.738 When I was seven, my mum organised a surprise party for me. 53:08.178 --> 53:20.361 when everyone jumped out and shouted surprise i was so shocked i fell backwards and twisted my ankle and burst into tears i was really cross for the rest of the party was sent to my room to calm down while everyone else played past the parcel 53:21.838 --> 53:24.299 This is exactly my problem with birthdays, though. 53:24.339 --> 53:28.221 It puts too much pressure on everyone, and things just get out of control. 53:28.262 --> 53:31.003 It's like New Year's, you know, forced celebrations like that. 53:31.063 --> 53:32.444 I really... It's great. 53:32.544 --> 53:33.304 I can't deal with. 53:33.384 --> 53:34.165 It's a minefield. 53:34.445 --> 53:35.625 Here's one from Stephen in Morecambe. 53:35.645 --> 53:41.609 At my seventh birthday party, a friend decided to put a Mini Mars bar, unwrapped, into another friend's drink. 53:41.949 --> 53:43.089 Yeah, good, good joke. 53:43.750 --> 53:47.472 This friend then drank the whole drink in one and proceeded to choke on the Mini Mars bar. 53:48.152 --> 53:50.273 It was funny to everybody, but my parents weren't too amused. 53:50.293 --> 53:52.234 They performed the Heimlich maneuver to save him. 53:54.175 --> 53:55.716 That's a good little practical gag for it. 53:55.756 --> 53:57.277 Now that's a very, very bad thing to do. 53:57.317 --> 53:58.217 You know, you shouldn't do that. 53:58.237 --> 54:02.159 Don't throttle people with mini-treats. 54:02.179 --> 54:03.260 Keep those coming in, though. 54:03.320 --> 54:07.282 Your stories of birthday flip-outs or tantrums or disasters on your birthday. 54:07.302 --> 54:09.463 64046 is the text number. 54:09.923 --> 54:11.544 Email is adamandjoe at bbc.co.uk. 54:11.564 --> 54:13.125 You got me a book! 54:15.273 --> 54:16.754 Thanks a lot, Granny! 54:16.774 --> 54:18.794 I hate you! 54:18.814 --> 54:25.697 I swear to- I feel really sorry for people sometimes when they- when it's Christmas time and they're, you know, bringing presents. 54:25.977 --> 54:27.957 My children are now old enough to know- But you know what? 54:28.057 --> 54:32.519 Sorry to steamroll you there, but this is a show that some families listen to, right? 54:32.719 --> 54:51.589 so listening right now there might be parents and children and maybe we can do them a service you know you're hearing these stories kids exactly adults work it out talk it through before the big birthday think about the other side yeah kids have sympathy for your parents it's not easy for them parents have sympathy for your tyrannical children you got me a shirt 54:54.130 --> 54:56.111 All right, let's have some music right now. 54:56.672 --> 55:00.614 This is The Pains of Being Pure at Heart. 55:00.754 --> 55:01.774 Is that the name of the band? 55:01.794 --> 55:04.536 That's a stupid name for a band, isn't it? 55:05.316 --> 55:06.257 No, it's a brilliant name for a band. 55:06.457 --> 55:07.658 And this is a track called Belong. 55:08.518 --> 55:11.360 The Pains of Being Pure at Heart with Belong. 55:11.580 --> 55:13.761 Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music. 55:13.781 --> 55:19.104 Now, should I finish that little thing that I started just before the news there that Joe was worried about? 55:19.324 --> 55:19.844 Up to you, mate. 55:21.425 --> 55:23.766 I mean, this is all because it's in your mind. 55:23.806 --> 55:25.667 You've got a filthy, filthy mind. 55:25.987 --> 55:28.728 And Joe is worried about this being too fruity. 55:28.968 --> 55:37.312 But we were just talking last week about the fact that when I am at the petrol station, I put the petrol in the tank, I waggle the pump afterwards to get all the drops out. 55:37.752 --> 55:45.337 And it just seems to me to be like maybe too intimate a gesture. 55:45.998 --> 55:48.700 And so I was saying that I get embarrassed about it sometimes. 55:49.100 --> 56:00.948 But Neil Hillen wrote in and said, putting the other point of view, I observed recently that when a lady fills a hot water bottle, she'll wipe the wet nozzle if there's a tea towel nearby. 56:01.488 --> 56:16.229 a gentleman will instinctively shake the end of the water bottle try it out with family and friends be careful of the be careful of the hot water lts what does that stand for laters yeah uh neil hillen what's the problem with that what's the problem with that 56:16.690 --> 56:17.310 What's the problem with that? 56:17.330 --> 56:17.991 It's no problem with that. 56:18.011 --> 56:18.951 Why be it any different? 56:19.251 --> 56:20.592 Problem freed any different. 56:20.612 --> 56:22.133 Why, why it any different? 56:22.173 --> 56:22.794 What's the problem? 56:22.814 --> 56:23.534 I've done it different. 56:23.854 --> 56:30.658 Now earlier on Adam you were talking about methodology for looking at ladies in the street. 56:30.898 --> 56:31.318 Oglefun. 56:32.179 --> 56:33.400 Oglefun if you're with a friend. 56:33.420 --> 56:34.080 Ian Oglefun. 56:34.220 --> 56:35.781 Yeah Ian Oglefun. 56:36.101 --> 56:36.901 Yeah. 56:36.941 --> 56:43.783 And this is when you're with maybe your lady partner or your man partner and a sexy person comes along. 56:43.823 --> 56:46.364 You don't want to get busted looking at the sexy person. 56:46.424 --> 56:46.724 Yeah. 56:46.824 --> 56:49.725 And these are techniques for pulling that off. 56:50.725 --> 56:54.246 And for what I was saying earlier on that, you know, sometimes I pretend I'm just looking at buildings. 56:54.546 --> 56:58.627 And some of you clever listeners have sent us in your techniques for doing this. 56:58.707 --> 57:00.767 Here's a text we got from Will. 57:00.787 --> 57:01.408 Will? 57:04.109 --> 57:18.086 on the train looking at attractive gents is easy using the reflection from the windows they just think you're looking at the view do you ever do that all the time and then it can be terrifying when their heads turn and they look at you in the reflection bongo 57:18.166 --> 57:19.247 Because you're double court. 57:19.427 --> 57:21.128 The reflected ogle. 57:21.569 --> 57:23.230 Mmm, delightful. 57:23.250 --> 57:24.091 Even ogle fun. 57:24.411 --> 57:26.072 Here's one from an anonymous texter. 57:26.633 --> 57:32.638 My method isn't to avoid the issue, but to tackle it full-on with a sense of overt masculine conviction. 57:32.798 --> 57:34.299 Yeah, I was looking at her bottom. 57:34.599 --> 57:34.999 And what? 57:36.461 --> 57:39.085 Thus having a certain degree of control in the relationship. 57:39.405 --> 57:40.767 Success rate is 50-50. 57:40.787 --> 57:43.471 Here is one from Stephen Kirkham. 57:53.184 --> 57:57.368 The key to avoiding summer problems is a good pair of sunglasses, but not just any pair. 57:57.388 --> 58:05.857 They need to be mirrored so that your eyes cannot be seen through the lenses and wrap around so that even someone side-on to you can't see what you're looking at. 58:06.077 --> 58:07.058 Or a popemobile. 58:07.178 --> 58:07.879 That's just creepy. 58:08.319 --> 58:09.340 Smokey glass. 58:10.240 --> 58:12.001 Just a big... Yes. 58:12.361 --> 58:17.624 Or what about an umbrella with a sheet over it and eye holes punched in it? 58:18.344 --> 58:19.365 So you're just walking. 58:19.565 --> 58:20.726 Because then you can get quite close. 58:20.966 --> 58:26.649 And if you put some feather dusters through it, then you can actually sidle up to someone and tickle them. 58:26.709 --> 58:30.791 Or what about wearing just one of those big giant character costumes? 58:32.052 --> 58:33.593 This is getting quite unsettling. 58:35.729 --> 58:37.230 That's what they do at Disneyland, isn't it? 58:37.250 --> 58:38.111 They're all just staring. 58:38.131 --> 58:39.953 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 58:40.193 --> 58:41.915 Goofy's having a bit of being ogle fun. 58:42.755 --> 58:44.537 Here's one from Stephen Hall. 58:44.957 --> 58:49.481 I do a combination of the trajectory anticipation and the carry on staring. 58:49.942 --> 58:57.168 But if I think I've been rumbled, I do a preemptive strike by saying something derogatory to my fiance about the lady that's passing by. 58:57.268 --> 58:57.669 Example. 58:58.331 --> 58:58.431 Ugh! 58:58.832 --> 59:01.213 Why is she dressed like that at this time of the day? 59:01.494 --> 59:02.775 It's a bad example to young girls. 59:03.115 --> 59:04.156 That's exactly what I do. 59:04.276 --> 59:04.696 That's good. 59:04.716 --> 59:05.137 That's clever. 59:05.317 --> 59:05.937 Crafty. 59:06.478 --> 59:06.798 Look at her. 59:07.458 --> 59:11.542 Our daughter is certainly not going to be showing off quite so much midriff and booby-section. 59:13.643 --> 59:14.584 A midriff? 59:14.604 --> 59:15.785 Sounds like a department store. 59:15.805 --> 59:21.610 Midriff and booby-section will be closing in ten minutes. 59:22.290 --> 59:24.252 So please make your way. 59:27.314 --> 59:27.634 Oh dear. 59:27.894 --> 59:29.595 Listen, here's another one from Eric in Bournemouth. 59:30.175 --> 59:34.797 When I get caught looking at an attractive lady person before they, before, I'll start this again. 59:35.337 --> 59:38.658 When I get caught looking at an, oh, I started it yet again, third time lucky. 59:38.678 --> 59:39.818 Edit for the podcast, edit. 59:40.539 --> 59:52.803 When I get caught looking at an attractive lady person before they say anything, I immediately ask them if they have a sister called Sue who went to college in Dublin in 2006 because she looks like her and we used to be great friends. 59:53.223 --> 59:54.163 That can't possibly work. 59:54.263 --> 59:55.304 I think it works, Eric in Bournemouth. 59:55.324 --> 59:55.904 No, that's good. 59:56.184 --> 59:58.845 That's just a naked come on chat up line. 59:58.925 --> 01:00:02.626 Yeah, so and... It's ridiculous though, you'd get instantly busted. 01:00:03.026 --> 01:00:07.588 And finally, here's a brilliant tactical approach from Ibrahim Shah. 01:00:07.968 --> 01:00:18.752 He says, one of my favorite techniques to surreptitiously observe an attractive member of the opposite sex is to stand near them, openly stare slack jawed and let the drool flow freely. 01:00:19.312 --> 01:00:21.933 This deceives them into thinking there's something else wrong with me. 01:00:22.153 --> 01:00:23.394 They never suspect a thing. 01:00:26.587 --> 01:00:26.967 That's it. 01:00:27.047 --> 01:00:27.528 End of story. 01:00:27.568 --> 01:00:28.189 Case closed. 01:00:29.250 --> 01:00:30.411 Thank you very much for all those. 01:00:30.751 --> 01:00:32.352 Is this your free choice then, Joe? 01:00:32.372 --> 01:00:33.333 Yeah, what is this now? 01:00:33.514 --> 01:00:34.014 Yorkston. 01:00:34.494 --> 01:00:35.816 Oh yeah, this is James Yorkston. 01:00:35.856 --> 01:00:39.739 He's a fence collective person and this is a very lovely song. 01:00:39.759 --> 01:00:40.560 He collects fences. 01:00:41.381 --> 01:00:42.022 Kind of thing, yeah. 01:00:42.042 --> 01:00:46.346 This is called Summer Isn't The Same Without You from his album When The Ha Rolls In. 01:00:46.366 --> 01:00:47.166 And what's a ha? 01:00:47.987 --> 01:00:49.768 It's like a seamist, a Scottish seamist. 01:00:49.788 --> 01:00:51.309 Was that what you were going to say when I interrupted you? 01:00:51.329 --> 01:00:51.829 Well, no, no. 01:00:51.849 --> 01:00:53.690 I was thinking of a ha ha, which is like a ditch. 01:00:53.930 --> 01:00:54.170 Oh, yeah. 01:00:54.470 --> 01:00:55.511 No, it's a seamist. 01:00:55.571 --> 01:00:56.651 Anyway, this is James Yorkston. 01:00:56.791 --> 01:00:57.292 This is lovely. 01:00:58.852 --> 01:00:59.653 That's Buzzcocks. 01:01:00.751 --> 01:01:04.753 With lipstick recorded for John Peel on the 18th of October 1978. 01:01:05.314 --> 01:01:11.357 That track of course went on to mutate into shot by both sides by magazine didn't it I think. 01:01:11.878 --> 01:01:19.202 Anyway this is element Joe here on BBC6 music and Joe you were away this week so you didn't see Jules Holland's show. 01:01:19.622 --> 01:01:39.537 No later with Jules live cuz he's got two versions of the show right there's a set of live half-hour version and then a longer edited version I think that goes out later in the week I think that's how it works anyway he had a jazz combo on there the McCoy Tyner trio and he was very excited about the fact that the McCoy Tyner trio join us in their 01:01:40.154 --> 01:01:42.534 to do a bit of duels. 01:01:49.536 --> 01:02:01.878 So the trio were playing and they were like, you know, the main guy, I guess McCoy Tyner, I don't know much about them, I'm ashamed to say, was there on the piano and he was grooving away and getting really into it and they were doing their jazz thing. 01:02:02.558 --> 01:02:07.619 And then after a couple of minutes, it felt as if maybe they should be winding up the track. 01:02:08.579 --> 01:02:10.620 because there was still one track left to be played. 01:02:11.220 --> 01:02:12.600 Elbow, I think, we're going to play the show out. 01:02:12.640 --> 01:02:13.281 And this is live. 01:02:13.321 --> 01:02:14.641 This is going out live. 01:02:14.661 --> 01:02:14.841 Yeah. 01:02:15.421 --> 01:02:21.644 And so they cut wide to Jules kind of stepping in there and shredding out his arms, getting ready to say, we can't decide. 01:02:23.356 --> 01:02:25.857 But the McQuine and Simon trio, they were still playing. 01:02:26.357 --> 01:02:27.677 You can't stop them when they start. 01:02:27.697 --> 01:02:28.757 They were getting really into it. 01:02:28.997 --> 01:02:32.158 And it kept on seeming like the song was winding up. 01:02:32.198 --> 01:02:38.920 It would be like... And then he would just carry on. 01:02:40.880 --> 01:02:43.121 I used to do that in my head. 01:02:44.161 --> 01:02:45.361 Like do infinite songs. 01:02:45.401 --> 01:02:46.281 Did you ever used to do that? 01:02:46.822 --> 01:02:47.702 I used to do that in my head. 01:02:47.722 --> 01:02:48.602 I used to have fun doing that. 01:02:48.622 --> 01:02:51.883 And yeah, exactly doing little chord progressions that sounded like they were resolving. 01:02:53.383 --> 01:02:57.565 But then... That's fun to do. 01:02:58.226 --> 01:03:08.611 And Jules was completely flummoxed, so they would cut back to McCoy Tyler doing his thing, getting really into it, and then they had a few shots of, like, the drummer looking over and sort of going, we're not meant to be laughing this off face. 01:03:08.631 --> 01:03:09.251 What happened? 01:03:09.271 --> 01:03:16.435 They were cut back, but McCoy Tyler was just playing his piano, his eyes pretty much closed, he was absolutely not going to take any direction from the studio manager. 01:03:16.455 --> 01:03:19.877 And you know, Jules is a jazz pianist himself, presumably he'd know how to deal with this. 01:03:20.157 --> 01:03:41.638 I know but he was he was clearly so in awe of this guy he was really excited to have this jazz legend on the show that there was no question of him stepping in and just winding him up you know and so but it was obvious every single person in the studio was thinking he's got to stop now because the show is finishing and Elbow have got to play the song out and so eventually Jules Holland just had to start shouting over him saying 01:03:43.880 --> 01:04:04.889 and the guy on the piano was sort of thinking hey what are you doing man i'm still jazzing what's going on here but he had been jazzing you know what i would have done what i mean the piano and the stool are probably on wheels just push them out either push them out or there's probably a proper jazz way to do it you know uh jules would have got his emergency uh piano interceptor out got his own piano 01:04:05.069 --> 01:04:20.949 Well he could have started playing along and then someone should have pushed him next to the other piano Yeah, and then he could have sort of taken over the it's like a sort of some sort of war games type computer thing uh-huh he would have taken over the piano thing and then or he could have sidled up to him on the keyboard and just gone doodle-dee bonk 01:04:28.156 --> 01:04:40.644 I had a similar thing the other day when I was doing a live show right and I was interviewing this director and we were interviewing him about his music videos but he was very keen to show a short film that he'd made 01:04:41.204 --> 01:04:44.267 And we didn't really have that much time and we wanted to focus on the music videos. 01:04:44.287 --> 01:04:47.629 We had a lot of other stuff to show, but he was really insistent. 01:04:47.990 --> 01:04:54.194 So, so in the end, um, I sort of said, okay, well, I tell you what, and we were on stage at this point live, right? 01:04:54.214 --> 01:05:00.820 And I had the short film on my, on my computer and he'd made me transferred across before the show, even though I had no intention of showing it. 01:05:01.260 --> 01:05:02.001 And he said, um, 01:05:02.461 --> 01:05:05.184 Well, let's just have a little bit. 01:05:05.525 --> 01:05:06.426 Maybe you can play a clip." 01:05:06.826 --> 01:05:08.047 So I was like, yeah, okay. 01:05:08.067 --> 01:05:09.209 I'll play a little clip. 01:05:09.249 --> 01:05:11.651 It's a great film, but unfortunately we don't have time to play much more than that. 01:05:11.912 --> 01:05:13.754 So I'm just going to play the first minute or so. 01:05:14.495 --> 01:05:15.536 How long was this short film? 01:05:15.576 --> 01:05:16.837 It was eight and a half minutes or something. 01:05:17.218 --> 01:05:17.958 So long enough. 01:05:18.619 --> 01:05:24.304 And I just, as good as the film was, and it was terrific, it was a little on the serious side. 01:05:24.884 --> 01:05:29.708 And, uh, and not to say pretentious, but, um, a little bit. 01:05:30.308 --> 01:05:34.912 Um, and so I knew that the audience would just zone out a bit if I played the whole thing. 01:05:35.132 --> 01:05:42.118 So anyway, I fire it off and as I'm playing it, he's saying, um, just let it run to the end of this scene when they're in the cafe. 01:05:42.218 --> 01:05:42.378 Okay. 01:05:42.398 --> 01:05:43.759 I was like, yeah, yeah, fine, fine. 01:05:44.239 --> 01:05:44.540 I'm sorry. 01:05:44.560 --> 01:05:45.400 I can't play the whole thing. 01:05:45.861 --> 01:05:47.202 Um, he's like, oh no, that's okay. 01:05:47.722 --> 01:05:52.284 And so then I reach across for the, for the stop button on my computer, right? 01:05:52.704 --> 01:05:57.286 And he grabs my hand and he whispers in my head, no, no, no, no, no, don't stop it now. 01:05:57.687 --> 01:05:58.347 Don't stop it now. 01:05:58.727 --> 01:05:59.167 Let it play. 01:05:59.207 --> 01:06:00.768 If you stop it now, won't make any sense. 01:06:01.168 --> 01:06:02.689 Let it play to the end of the next scene. 01:06:03.149 --> 01:06:05.570 And then, you know, the bit where they're in the forest, it'd be fine. 01:06:06.030 --> 01:06:07.551 So that's another. 01:06:07.731 --> 01:06:08.532 four minutes away. 01:06:08.932 --> 01:06:10.053 We don't really have time. 01:06:10.693 --> 01:06:13.035 I'm really sorry, but I, you know, we should really stop it. 01:06:13.055 --> 01:06:14.576 We got to, no, no, no, no, no. 01:06:14.616 --> 01:06:15.217 Don't stop it now. 01:06:15.317 --> 01:06:17.098 It won't make any sense if you stop it now. 01:06:17.178 --> 01:06:18.239 The audience will be confused. 01:06:18.860 --> 01:06:27.006 So I let it run and then I'm reaching for the space bar again, after this has been playing for like six minutes, you know, and the audience is thinking, I thought you were just going to play one minute of it. 01:06:27.386 --> 01:06:28.687 He reaches for my hand again. 01:06:28.787 --> 01:06:33.070 And he goes, no, you may as well just let it play. 01:06:33.131 --> 01:06:34.371 It's nearly finished. 01:06:37.894 --> 01:06:39.835 There's another four minutes to go! 01:06:40.035 --> 01:06:42.136 The upside to this is he's got a sexy voice. 01:06:42.316 --> 01:06:42.956 Yeah, he does. 01:06:43.016 --> 01:06:44.876 And he was a really nice guy as well. 01:06:44.897 --> 01:06:50.739 I mean, I did feel bad not playing his thing, but we had made it clear, this is about your music videos, man, you multi-talented genius, you. 01:06:51.059 --> 01:06:54.960 But in the end, like, the lights came up, the audience were just completely glazed. 01:06:56.300 --> 01:06:57.621 But he got his short film in there. 01:06:57.861 --> 01:06:58.981 Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much. 01:06:59.001 --> 01:06:59.922 This is the end of the short film. 01:07:00.182 --> 01:07:02.363 I should have just leapt in there. 01:07:02.403 --> 01:07:04.503 Wonderful short film, wonderful, very potential short film. 01:07:04.543 --> 01:07:06.144 Thank you very much to my guest director tonight. 01:07:06.892 --> 01:07:08.293 Anyway, um, okay. 01:07:08.513 --> 01:07:11.336 We're going to do retro text the nation, I think very shortly. 01:07:11.376 --> 01:07:11.716 Aren't we? 01:07:11.816 --> 01:07:12.316 Yes, we are. 01:07:12.357 --> 01:07:20.483 Check out some of the messages that have been coming in during the week for last week's text the nation subject, which was what have you been doing right now? 01:07:21.024 --> 01:07:24.046 Here is the mighty fleet foxes from their new album. 01:07:24.066 --> 01:07:25.267 This is battery Kinsey. 01:07:26.601 --> 01:07:33.144 Fleet Foxes with Battery Kinsey from their forthcoming LP, Helplessness Blues, out in May. 01:07:33.164 --> 01:07:40.368 I forgot to say that one of the things the director said to me while he was whispering to me was, you're very uptight about time, aren't you? 01:07:41.568 --> 01:07:42.089 That's deep. 01:07:42.769 --> 01:07:44.590 Wow, you got philosophically bullied. 01:07:44.850 --> 01:07:45.530 I really did. 01:07:46.151 --> 01:07:48.052 And I'm very uptight about time. 01:07:48.092 --> 01:07:49.993 A little bit of existential undermining. 01:07:51.233 --> 01:07:54.315 I am now, because your film's going on for another eight minutes! 01:07:54.938 --> 01:07:55.278 Anyway. 01:07:55.599 --> 01:07:57.480 But man you are uptight about time. 01:07:57.501 --> 01:07:57.981 I am a little bit. 01:07:58.001 --> 01:07:58.582 I've noticed. 01:07:58.802 --> 01:07:59.202 I know. 01:07:59.442 --> 01:07:59.963 Loosen up. 01:08:00.243 --> 01:08:01.304 Mainly that it's running out. 01:08:02.445 --> 01:08:03.646 Retro text the nation. 01:08:03.826 --> 01:08:05.208 We got this email this week. 01:08:05.668 --> 01:08:07.370 Elliot Line sent us this. 01:08:07.610 --> 01:08:08.611 Hi Adam and Joe. 01:08:08.631 --> 01:08:09.572 Hey hey hey hey. 01:08:09.652 --> 01:08:10.813 Is this retro text the nation? 01:08:10.833 --> 01:08:12.214 No no no I'm putting the jingling context. 01:08:12.274 --> 01:08:12.715 Oh good man. 01:08:13.195 --> 01:08:20.316 Um, my three-year-old daughter Alyssa Mayline loves the retrotextination jingle and wanted to record her own version. 01:08:20.636 --> 01:08:23.737 She can't read yet, so she had to learn the lyrics first. 01:08:24.277 --> 01:08:29.418 I never know whether she'll say bin or trash, but on this occasion, she plumped for trash. 01:08:29.778 --> 01:08:31.578 Please use it as you see fit. 01:08:31.698 --> 01:08:34.339 Well, it was charming, I thought, so we certainly will use it. 01:08:34.419 --> 01:08:41.120 Here is the remarkably talented for three years old Alyssa Mayline singing the retrotextination jingle. 01:08:42.580 --> 01:08:48.945 I listen to Alan J but I listen to the podcast, not the live show. 01:08:49.526 --> 01:08:56.412 I used to feel the cute frustration but I couldn't join in with Text-A-Nation. 01:08:57.305 --> 01:08:59.327 Wow, that's very, very good. 01:09:14.918 --> 01:09:18.200 You know, the thing about that is she's really hitting it rhythmically there. 01:09:18.560 --> 01:09:18.961 Yeah. 01:09:19.121 --> 01:09:20.522 That's extremely sophisticated. 01:09:20.622 --> 01:09:21.863 We may have a prodigy on our hands. 01:09:21.923 --> 01:09:22.363 Right, right. 01:09:22.383 --> 01:09:28.667 We were talking earlier about maybe doing a song wars with cool ways of, you know, unique ways of delivering a song. 01:09:29.047 --> 01:09:30.789 She's got her style worked out there. 01:09:30.869 --> 01:09:36.632 How long is it before, I mean, we've got the Smith children, Willow and Jayden. 01:09:37.253 --> 01:09:38.494 They must be what, 10, 11? 01:09:39.314 --> 01:09:42.056 How long is it before we have a three or four year old in the charge? 01:09:42.076 --> 01:09:42.717 She's ready, man. 01:09:42.757 --> 01:09:44.979 I would buy I would buy a single by Alyssa. 01:09:44.999 --> 01:09:48.361 We were talking about having a unique voice that's instantly recognizable. 01:09:48.662 --> 01:09:49.282 There is one. 01:09:49.382 --> 01:09:49.943 Absolutely. 01:09:50.383 --> 01:09:56.388 And you know, it's going to be a shame when she gets too sophisticated and start hitting all the right bits of rhythm. 01:09:56.408 --> 01:09:57.710 She'll be over the hill by four. 01:09:58.050 --> 01:09:58.490 I know. 01:09:58.851 --> 01:09:59.971 I like to early start. 01:10:01.801 --> 01:10:02.861 Where's she got to be for? 01:10:03.242 --> 01:10:07.723 So yeah, we were talking about what you've been up to in the last 15 months since we've been off the air. 01:10:07.763 --> 01:10:09.764 We only got back last week, of course. 01:10:10.364 --> 01:10:14.405 And thank you very much for getting in touch with some of your messages in the week. 01:10:14.426 --> 01:10:15.646 What's she called the singing girl? 01:10:16.246 --> 01:10:17.267 Alyssa May Line. 01:10:17.487 --> 01:10:18.767 Alyssa, you're talented. 01:10:18.807 --> 01:10:20.248 Thank you so much for sending that in. 01:10:20.268 --> 01:10:21.888 And thanks Elliot for sending that in. 01:10:21.908 --> 01:10:22.668 Really appreciate it. 01:10:23.089 --> 01:10:29.811 Here's a message, an email that was sent in by John Chalton in Timpoli. 01:10:30.091 --> 01:10:31.552 So the subject was just, how are you doing? 01:10:31.572 --> 01:10:32.213 What's been going on? 01:10:32.313 --> 01:10:33.133 Yeah, what have you been up to? 01:10:33.153 --> 01:10:33.534 Yeah. 01:10:33.674 --> 01:10:39.919 We had a variety of responses, but this one was a fairly specific observation about something that happened. 01:10:40.359 --> 01:10:44.943 I was on a very busy train from Bristol to Manchester and every seat was full. 01:10:45.403 --> 01:10:49.386 I saw a young woman with a great big suitcase on the seat next to her. 01:10:49.866 --> 01:10:53.069 She hadn't paid for the seat, so I asked if I could sit there instead. 01:10:53.529 --> 01:10:59.254 She tutted and put the suitcase in the leg room in front of her, allowing her very little actual leg room. 01:10:59.714 --> 01:11:06.760 As we pulled into Birmingham and people were getting up to leave the train, the woman suggested, shouldn't one of us move so I can have more room? 01:11:07.420 --> 01:11:10.683 I stood up to allow her to get past, but she didn't move. 01:11:11.043 --> 01:11:12.404 She meant could I move. 01:11:12.885 --> 01:11:18.029 So I stood there like a wally for about a minute or so before I took a seat across the aisle. 01:11:18.429 --> 01:11:25.235 As I looked back at the woman, I saw an enormous whale-like man park his derriere in the seat that I had vacated 01:11:25.555 --> 01:11:34.002 I caught her eye and gave her a smug grin and a knowing nod. 01:11:34.522 --> 01:11:38.825 At the exact same time, I got double cramp in my calf and hamstring. 01:11:39.226 --> 01:11:46.451 I managed to internalize my screams of pain, but I felt the balance of the universe was the overall winner in the sorry situation. 01:11:48.613 --> 01:11:50.155 You travel on trains a lot, don't you? 01:11:50.215 --> 01:11:52.579 So you like a good train politic story? 01:11:52.819 --> 01:11:53.580 Sure, I do. 01:11:53.740 --> 01:11:54.201 I really do. 01:11:54.241 --> 01:11:59.808 I mean, my ways of avoiding those kinds of situations are I only really travel at very specific times now. 01:12:00.409 --> 01:12:02.412 I only go so uptight about time. 01:12:02.993 --> 01:12:04.655 You're very uptight about time. 01:12:05.756 --> 01:12:11.858 Um, so yeah, I know I, I can completely sympathize at those moments when you can't avoid being on a packed train and stuff like that happens. 01:12:12.258 --> 01:12:31.583 I spent the whole journey with just a flutter and my, a flutter of anxiety trying to hold onto my seat and make sure no one sits in my seat next to me or I've got as much room as I possibly can and there's no one opposite me making a phone call, really loud phone call because that would ruin my journey. 01:12:31.903 --> 01:12:34.444 I want to do a radio show with that French director. 01:12:34.484 --> 01:12:36.384 He's much more relaxed about things than you are. 01:12:36.524 --> 01:12:38.505 And I hear his short film's really good. 01:12:38.665 --> 01:12:39.065 It is good. 01:12:39.105 --> 01:12:39.805 I never said it wasn't. 01:12:40.425 --> 01:12:42.746 Here's one from Hannah, who's listening in Japan. 01:12:43.466 --> 01:12:45.706 The highlight of her 15 months is as follows. 01:12:46.226 --> 01:12:51.928 A slightly sozzled and rakish Bill Nye mistook me for an old friend in the biscuits section of Fortnum & Mason's. 01:12:52.628 --> 01:12:53.729 Now that's pretty good, isn't it? 01:12:53.849 --> 01:12:56.531 To be mistakenly spotted by a famous person. 01:12:56.551 --> 01:12:59.533 Yeah, we're talking the highlight of a 15 month period. 01:12:59.573 --> 01:13:00.693 That's a good one, don't you think? 01:13:00.713 --> 01:13:05.617 Bill Nye coming up to you and in the biscuit section of Fortnum and Nathan. 01:13:07.838 --> 01:13:09.159 The biscuit section. 01:13:09.259 --> 01:13:10.400 Why are you saying it like that? 01:13:10.420 --> 01:13:11.040 I don't know. 01:13:11.140 --> 01:13:15.864 I'm trying to give it extra emphasis to make it worthy of being read out. 01:13:15.884 --> 01:13:16.764 Is that how you give emphasis? 01:13:16.904 --> 01:13:17.385 Leave me alone. 01:13:17.405 --> 01:13:18.345 Start talking like that. 01:13:18.365 --> 01:13:18.645 Yes. 01:13:20.367 --> 01:13:22.188 People sit up and listen when you talk like that. 01:13:23.309 --> 01:13:23.989 That's a good one. 01:13:24.030 --> 01:13:24.570 Thanks, mate. 01:13:24.990 --> 01:13:35.321 Um, what would you try if someone did that to you, if Nye came up to you, right, and started mistakenly, would you take advantage of it and then say, hey, listen, while we're chatting, let's get to know each other. 01:13:35.341 --> 01:13:40.667 Do you fancy going over to the biscuit section and because no, because then he would say, no, that's okay. 01:13:41.167 --> 01:13:44.150 I've got to go and see Tilda Swinton later on. 01:13:44.170 --> 01:13:45.191 I'm a bit tooty. 01:13:45.932 --> 01:13:47.453 Got to go to the Tilda Swinton section. 01:13:48.695 --> 01:13:50.977 Here's one from Daniel Swindlehurst. 01:13:51.337 --> 01:13:52.739 Not entirely dissimilar. 01:13:53.239 --> 01:13:57.884 Dear Adam and Joe, a few months ago I was walking down the high street when I saw Kofi Annan. 01:13:57.924 --> 01:13:58.484 I was walking? 01:13:59.185 --> 01:14:24.670 down the high street when I saw Kofi Annan he was walking towards me carrying a co-op carrier bag he was carrying a co-op carrier bag at first I thought it was Morgan Freeman but I quickly realized I quickly realized it was the former UN Secretary General 01:14:27.234 --> 01:14:29.036 Do you think Morgan Freeman has that a lot? 01:14:29.417 --> 01:14:29.697 Yeah. 01:14:29.777 --> 01:14:30.898 My god, it's Kofi Annan. 01:14:31.859 --> 01:14:32.360 Oh, no way. 01:14:32.420 --> 01:14:35.143 It's just the sonorous voiced actor man. 01:14:36.364 --> 01:14:37.125 I nodded to him. 01:14:37.605 --> 01:14:38.566 Kofi nodded back. 01:14:39.107 --> 01:14:44.032 I should point out that I live in Geneva and co-op is quite a high class supermarket over here. 01:14:44.052 --> 01:14:46.234 I don't think it's got anything to do with the British one. 01:14:46.735 --> 01:14:47.015 Love you. 01:14:47.055 --> 01:14:47.416 Bye. 01:14:47.756 --> 01:14:49.458 Kisses and hugs from Daniel Swindlehurst. 01:14:49.858 --> 01:14:50.518 What a story. 01:14:50.638 --> 01:14:53.560 Not to suggest that the British co-op is any way down marking that. 01:14:53.580 --> 01:14:53.940 No, exactly. 01:14:53.960 --> 01:14:55.700 It's a very, very, very good store. 01:14:55.740 --> 01:14:59.022 It's thoroughly- Distributes its profits in a very equitable manner. 01:14:59.122 --> 01:14:59.602 That's right. 01:15:00.182 --> 01:15:00.943 Have you got any more there? 01:15:00.963 --> 01:15:01.923 Yeah, I've got more here. 01:15:01.943 --> 01:15:02.443 Hit me. 01:15:03.163 --> 01:15:03.604 Here we go. 01:15:03.744 --> 01:15:07.065 Here's a good one from Sam Hawkins. 01:15:07.825 --> 01:15:11.147 When I was walking, I felt a tickling sensation in my ear. 01:15:11.687 --> 01:15:13.948 It was the end of a cotton bud that had come off in my ear. 01:15:14.168 --> 01:15:15.088 It was black and gross. 01:15:15.148 --> 01:15:16.509 It fell out on a street corner. 01:15:16.789 --> 01:15:18.650 I just stood and looked at it in the gutter. 01:15:18.690 --> 01:15:19.370 I felt sick. 01:15:23.133 --> 01:15:34.441 Also, on returning to university after my Christmas, some of my sister's pants were stuck to my jumper. 01:15:34.481 --> 01:15:36.482 I didn't realise until I was on the tube, oh dear. 01:15:36.722 --> 01:15:39.765 Say that again, some of my... What an email! 01:15:40.885 --> 01:15:42.266 of my sister's pants! 01:15:42.286 --> 01:15:43.267 I'm gonna read the whole thing again. 01:15:43.367 --> 01:15:45.749 When I was walking, I felt a tickling sensation in my ear. 01:15:45.789 --> 01:15:47.791 It was the end of a cotton bud that had come off in my ear. 01:15:47.811 --> 01:15:48.592 It was black and gross. 01:15:48.652 --> 01:15:49.713 It fell out on a street corner. 01:15:49.793 --> 01:15:51.034 I just stood and looked at it in the gutter. 01:15:51.054 --> 01:15:51.614 I felt sick. 01:15:51.654 --> 01:15:55.197 Also, on returning to university after Christmas summer, my sister's pants was ducked in my jumper. 01:15:55.237 --> 01:15:56.499 I didn't realize until I was on the tube. 01:15:56.559 --> 01:15:56.879 Oh dear. 01:15:57.219 --> 01:15:59.041 Does he mean like a section of the pants? 01:15:59.221 --> 01:16:00.422 No, just a pair of pants. 01:16:00.602 --> 01:16:03.305 I suppose static electricity... Well, some of... They got stuck. 01:16:03.465 --> 01:16:06.008 No, some of my sisters... Well, she has more than one pair of pants. 01:16:06.048 --> 01:16:07.769 He's got more than one pair of pants stuck to his jumper? 01:16:07.789 --> 01:16:12.494 No, some of... It is slightly weirdly written, but no, it's just one pair of pants out of many pairs of pants. 01:16:12.514 --> 01:16:15.317 So he doesn't just mean like the gusset was stuck to his... No, he doesn't mean that. 01:16:17.093 --> 01:16:21.395 But it's been a tough year for Sam Hawkins, so well done, mate. 01:16:21.615 --> 01:16:32.019 I can just picture him standing on that street corner looking down at this little black cotton blood being... And little does he know that on his back simultaneously is a pair of pants. 01:16:32.519 --> 01:16:34.900 Goodness knows what else is going to be coming out of his body. 01:16:35.380 --> 01:16:36.120 Have you got any more? 01:16:36.380 --> 01:16:36.921 Yeah, sure. 01:16:38.041 --> 01:16:40.482 I've got a very concise one. 01:16:40.502 --> 01:16:43.384 Actually, no, I'll leave that one. 01:16:43.404 --> 01:16:49.006 There's Beth from Oxford says, dear Dr. Buckles and Professor Cornball's proper titles. 01:16:49.026 --> 01:16:50.027 We're getting there, thank you. 01:16:50.427 --> 01:16:56.050 It's not exactly a whimsical anecdote, but in the past 15 months, I've got married and become an auntie. 01:16:56.470 --> 01:16:58.851 My niece will have her first birthday in the summer. 01:16:59.251 --> 01:17:06.395 My husband has decided that we should start growing our own food and we're rapidly starting to resemble Tom and Barbara from The Good Life, Beth from Oxford. 01:17:06.875 --> 01:17:28.308 wow that's a good one i thought it was just functional yeah it was nice you know pleasant exactly things are going along nicely for for beth from oxford and heather is even more concise she says my daughter went from 14 months to 29 months old heather we've got to drum up more of these for the podcast have we 01:17:29.261 --> 01:17:31.763 We usually read out more in the... oh no, that was the old days. 01:17:31.803 --> 01:17:35.905 That's the olden days, yeah, when it was a podcast-only feature, because we're not allowed to have all that extra content. 01:17:35.925 --> 01:17:36.646 Of course, of course, of course. 01:17:36.666 --> 01:17:40.148 Although we do have some extra content in the podcast, and that's why you should download it. 01:17:40.368 --> 01:17:47.152 And thanks to everyone who downloaded it and propelled it to number one in the iTunes podcast, John! 01:17:47.432 --> 01:17:48.233 Woohoo! 01:17:49.871 --> 01:17:51.212 That must have been very exciting. 01:17:51.712 --> 01:17:54.674 I mean it was exciting for me but you were particularly excited. 01:17:54.694 --> 01:17:56.094 Do you know what my excitement was tempered by? 01:17:56.134 --> 01:18:10.502 The fact that iTunes now organises their charts in such an elaborate way because there are so many different types of podcasts that the first podcast list that you see when you pop up on the podcast charts is something different and all you can see is Ricky Gervais' name all over it. 01:18:10.882 --> 01:18:16.285 You have to navigate to the audio only podcast chart in order to see us reigning supreme. 01:18:16.305 --> 01:18:18.406 Maybe you should start a campaign to 01:18:19.126 --> 01:18:21.608 Get iTunes to redesign their front page. 01:18:21.689 --> 01:18:24.831 I would love to I mean, they've very nicely got an ad for us on there. 01:18:24.891 --> 01:18:26.553 So That's nice. 01:18:26.813 --> 01:18:28.414 And thanks to everyone who downloaded don't forget. 01:18:28.454 --> 01:18:32.217 You can download this podcast Will it be tomorrow Ben or will it be Monday tomorrow? 01:18:32.237 --> 01:18:34.019 You can download the podcast of this program 01:18:34.019 --> 01:18:40.741 Yeah, and thank you to everybody who obviously texted and emailed, no not texted, emailed during the week with their retro text the nations. 01:18:40.821 --> 01:18:46.662 Remember, if you've got something to contribute to this week's text the nation theme, you can do so even after the show is finished. 01:18:46.722 --> 01:18:47.862 Disastrous birthdays. 01:18:48.162 --> 01:18:55.064 By emailing adamandjoe at bbc.co.uk and maybe your email will be read out in next week's retro text the nation. 01:18:55.224 --> 01:19:02.186 One of the people that got in touch or communicated about this show last week was Thomas Dolby, the musical genius man. 01:19:02.506 --> 01:19:29.783 huge fans of Thomas Dolby and have been since we were tiny little nippers yeah we got the chance to go and fool around at his house once in shingle street years ago we did a episode of vinyl justice with Thomas when we went through his record collection and ponced about and he tweeted about the fact he remembered that we had done that when I was very excited to be tweeted by mr. Dolby amazing so if you're listening Thomas we love you man and sorry to play like one of your really old tracks but it's a goodie here's she blinded me with science 01:19:30.868 --> 01:19:32.069 My head is full of fudge! 01:19:33.551 --> 01:19:35.993 Talk Talk by Talk Talk there. 01:19:36.954 --> 01:19:39.236 And this is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music. 01:19:39.616 --> 01:19:40.697 It's the news coming up, isn't it? 01:19:41.198 --> 01:19:41.978 Yeah, in a little bit. 01:19:42.038 --> 01:19:43.740 Yeah, so we've got to talk for like a minute. 01:19:44.100 --> 01:19:45.041 Well, maybe you could help me. 01:19:45.442 --> 01:19:48.584 I've been noticing that I'm not doing well at dinner parties recently. 01:19:48.685 --> 01:19:49.125 Oh dear. 01:19:49.285 --> 01:19:52.048 Especially because it's such a politically turbulent time, you know? 01:19:52.288 --> 01:19:52.528 Right. 01:19:52.668 --> 01:19:56.592 And because talk of revolutions tends to dominate the table, 01:19:57.212 --> 01:20:02.493 And I don't feel that my opinions necessarily, you know, stand out. 01:20:02.513 --> 01:20:03.233 Are being taken seriously? 01:20:03.394 --> 01:20:10.795 Well, no, I just, I don't hold them as strongly and I don't feel as well informed as some of the other people at the table because I've got pretty high-powered dinner guests, you know. 01:20:10.855 --> 01:20:11.055 Right. 01:20:11.435 --> 01:20:17.317 So what I do is I wait for a little gap and then I introduce one of my own little topics to try and steer things in a more bucculese direction. 01:20:18.657 --> 01:20:22.118 For example, here was my last conversational gambit at a dinner party. 01:20:23.078 --> 01:20:23.979 that went badly. 01:20:24.899 --> 01:20:26.660 It was, and I swear this is true. 01:20:26.680 --> 01:20:30.423 Can you give us an idea of the kind of conversation that was happening before you introduced this? 01:20:30.563 --> 01:20:40.969 Yeah, I mean, it was, you know, it was Gaddafi and Libya, right, right misery, you know, and then I step in thinking we need to lighten things up a little bit here and just make them a bit more fun and inclusive. 01:20:41.489 --> 01:20:50.918 So I went, is it my imagination, and this is something I genuinely was thinking, is it my imagination or are carrots getting a lot fatter this year? 01:20:51.198 --> 01:20:53.180 Like in a supermarket, has anyone noticed that? 01:20:53.661 --> 01:20:55.763 Like a much fatter carrots you're getting. 01:21:03.456 --> 01:21:06.099 That's the wonder stuff with Caught in My Shadow. 01:21:06.119 --> 01:21:10.024 Saturday afternoon here on BBC 6 Music. 01:21:10.084 --> 01:21:10.824 It's Adam and Joe. 01:21:10.885 --> 01:21:12.947 It's a lovely sunny day. 01:21:13.147 --> 01:21:13.808 Good one. 01:21:14.308 --> 01:21:15.530 The weather's getting warm. 01:21:15.670 --> 01:21:17.652 It's not quite shorts weather yet, I don't think. 01:21:17.672 --> 01:21:21.937 I think it would be a little bit previous to go, you know, short, don't you think, Ben? 01:21:21.977 --> 01:21:22.378 Shorties. 01:21:22.538 --> 01:21:22.758 Yeah. 01:21:23.559 --> 01:21:29.443 I've been out of the country for the past week, but has it been very hot here? 01:21:29.683 --> 01:21:30.704 It's been really nice. 01:21:31.044 --> 01:21:32.305 But properly hot, 70s, 80s? 01:21:32.946 --> 01:21:40.131 No, not boiling boiling, but just much warmer than... Shorty, have people been... I mean, they have, because you've discussed looking at bits and bobs in the street. 01:21:40.251 --> 01:21:44.774 Yeah, no, the clothes have been getting most scant and shorts have been coming out. 01:21:44.854 --> 01:21:47.116 I tried it one morning, but then I gave up by midday. 01:21:47.156 --> 01:21:47.756 Did you? 01:21:47.816 --> 01:21:48.757 You're a short wearer. 01:21:48.917 --> 01:21:50.278 You know, it's going to happen. 01:21:50.318 --> 01:21:52.780 Certainly I'll be back in shorts in a bit, but still. 01:21:53.220 --> 01:21:53.740 Only early April. 01:21:53.800 --> 01:21:55.361 Shall we do some more text-the-nations? 01:21:55.381 --> 01:21:56.742 I want to talk about the weather a lot more. 01:21:57.442 --> 01:21:57.902 No, I'm joking. 01:21:58.263 --> 01:21:59.023 Yeah, let's have the jingle. 01:22:01.484 --> 01:22:02.324 Text-the-nation. 01:22:02.365 --> 01:22:03.445 Text-text-text. 01:22:03.545 --> 01:22:04.285 Text-the-nation. 01:22:04.345 --> 01:22:05.346 What if I don't want to? 01:22:05.566 --> 01:22:06.266 Text-the-nation. 01:22:06.386 --> 01:22:07.387 But I'm using email. 01:22:07.547 --> 01:22:08.267 Is that a problem? 01:22:08.307 --> 01:22:09.148 It doesn't matter, text! 01:22:11.431 --> 01:22:12.912 So we're talking about birthday flip-outs. 01:22:13.112 --> 01:22:13.592 Sorry, mate. 01:22:13.872 --> 01:22:21.475 No, I was just going to say, maybe we should, because we, people would send in their versions of the Texanation jingle, like maybe create a new backing bed. 01:22:21.515 --> 01:22:22.636 We had one earlier on the show. 01:22:22.976 --> 01:22:25.697 We'd still very much encourage that if you're musically minded. 01:22:26.197 --> 01:22:29.259 Send us in a new Texanation jingle bed. 01:22:29.519 --> 01:22:29.979 A cover. 01:22:30.259 --> 01:22:31.700 A cover of that jingle. 01:22:31.780 --> 01:22:38.382 Well, they can either, no, they can either do a completely new cover or like a new bed that I can sing over and go mental. 01:22:38.462 --> 01:22:39.383 Right, right. 01:22:39.443 --> 01:22:39.743 Anything. 01:22:40.083 --> 01:22:56.139 anything anything do anything you're so uptight about time you're very uptight about time Adam okay what have you got there we've got some uh good stories we're talking about birthday flip-outs on text the nation this week furious tantrums at your birthday here's one from shan 01:22:57.080 --> 01:23:00.081 My parents used to use, well, have I said that wrong? 01:23:01.502 --> 01:23:02.422 Like French for dog. 01:23:02.622 --> 01:23:04.442 Oh, I was like from the show. 01:23:05.623 --> 01:23:08.104 Uh, my parents used to use birthdays and Christmases. 01:23:08.904 --> 01:23:10.364 Are you finished? 01:23:12.265 --> 01:23:28.764 my parents used to use birthdays and christmases as an excuse to buy us things that we needed anyway so this is already a recipe for disaster foolish parents one year my main present from them was a brand new pair of school shoes i was so incensed that i threw them into the fish pond 01:23:30.865 --> 01:23:38.968 The shoes not my parents and was made to get them out by myself and scrub them clean quite right now you would do that Would you you would punish the child for throwing the shoes in the pond on the birthday? 01:23:39.368 --> 01:23:54.115 Yes, even on the birthday for disrespecting something like that's good money You could stand by and watch your child scrub clean a pair of shoes on their birthday I Would not have given them what about delaying the punishment till after the birthday I 01:23:55.063 --> 01:23:56.104 No, but I don't know. 01:23:56.164 --> 01:23:56.904 It's a tough one. 01:23:57.144 --> 01:23:59.346 But I would not have given them school shoes on their birthday. 01:23:59.426 --> 01:24:00.066 How about this? 01:24:00.286 --> 01:24:01.967 You have a birthday, what about you have a death day? 01:24:02.528 --> 01:24:12.354 So you anticipate the time in life when you will die and you designate one day of the year and on that day of the year you're allowed to punish and bring misery upon your child. 01:24:12.774 --> 01:24:13.374 Yeah, yeah. 01:24:13.394 --> 01:24:14.475 Is that an upbeat idea? 01:24:14.735 --> 01:24:15.375 That's a fun idea. 01:24:15.415 --> 01:24:17.136 We discussed death days before, I think, didn't we? 01:24:17.156 --> 01:24:17.336 Have we? 01:24:17.376 --> 01:24:23.099 Yeah, I'm sure, because it's an engaging concept that one day of the year, whether you know it or not, is your death day. 01:24:23.719 --> 01:24:25.320 And so it would be fun to have a little party. 01:24:25.480 --> 01:24:26.620 Have a little sort of misery party. 01:24:26.640 --> 01:24:26.960 Yeah. 01:24:27.160 --> 01:24:27.741 A gloom day. 01:24:27.841 --> 01:24:30.022 And just, you've got license to moan the whole day. 01:24:30.062 --> 01:24:30.482 Have a wake. 01:24:31.102 --> 01:24:32.203 A premature wake. 01:24:32.663 --> 01:24:33.303 Here's another one. 01:24:33.323 --> 01:24:34.044 This is a good one. 01:24:34.064 --> 01:24:35.244 This is from Robin Birmingham. 01:24:35.364 --> 01:24:38.746 At my seventh birthday party, my sister instigated a game of Simon Says. 01:24:39.286 --> 01:24:44.569 As I walked into the room midway through the game, my sister suddenly said, Simon Says touch rubber on the head! 01:24:45.444 --> 01:24:48.605 Instead of touching my head, a girl called Louise kissed me. 01:24:49.445 --> 01:24:50.245 Everybody laughed. 01:24:50.765 --> 01:24:52.205 This was too much for me to take. 01:24:52.685 --> 01:24:55.446 I burst into tears, walked up to my sister and punched her in the face. 01:24:57.346 --> 01:24:59.947 Soon after, my parents pulled the plug on the celebrations. 01:25:00.647 --> 01:25:02.307 Robin Birmingham, lamp! 01:25:03.027 --> 01:25:07.108 I mean, it's nice to reply, you know, it's just an amazing love triangle there. 01:25:07.708 --> 01:25:13.209 The Simon says, come on from the sister, the kiss from Louise, the punch of the sister, bang, bang, bang, party over. 01:25:14.514 --> 01:25:15.836 It says quite a lot don't you think? 01:25:16.176 --> 01:25:23.406 Yeah it's hard to remember that that mindset though when you're you're such a little ball of emotions that you can't properly express. 01:25:23.486 --> 01:25:25.429 And the kiss I mean that just blew the stack. 01:25:25.569 --> 01:25:25.789 Sure. 01:25:26.190 --> 01:25:32.298 Here's another one from Matthew in Croydon on my sixth birthday and it's interesting all these happen around the sixth or seventh year. 01:25:32.718 --> 01:25:37.199 That's when you start getting sort of properly aware of the world around you start empathizing a bit more. 01:25:37.239 --> 01:25:39.380 On my sixth birthday, I got a plastic golf set. 01:25:39.760 --> 01:25:43.081 My cousin selected a three wood and took a swing, catching me full in the mouth. 01:25:43.761 --> 01:25:44.741 Now here's the interesting thing. 01:25:45.121 --> 01:25:51.763 I was instructed not to cry as, quote, if you cry on your birthday, you will cry every day of the year. 01:25:52.683 --> 01:25:54.704 So I was stood in the garden in front of my, yeah, yeah. 01:25:54.724 --> 01:25:56.125 Well just let me finish the thing first. 01:25:56.145 --> 01:26:06.012 So I was, so I was stood in the garden in front of my whole party, trying desperately not to cry a stiff upper lip, but a quivering bottom one. 01:26:06.292 --> 01:26:07.172 The pressure was too great. 01:26:07.212 --> 01:26:08.053 I burst into tears. 01:26:09.114 --> 01:26:09.734 Uh, there we go. 01:26:09.994 --> 01:26:13.416 So he was commanded, this is obviously an old sort of a wives tale thing. 01:26:13.456 --> 01:26:16.138 If you cry on your birthday, you'll cry for every day of the year. 01:26:16.158 --> 01:26:17.019 Have you heard that before? 01:26:17.079 --> 01:26:17.399 No. 01:26:18.260 --> 01:26:19.741 That's a tough one. 01:26:20.041 --> 01:26:21.402 His dad is saying that to him though. 01:26:21.522 --> 01:26:21.682 Yeah. 01:26:22.182 --> 01:26:25.125 Son, if you cry on your birthday, you're going to cry every day of the year. 01:26:25.145 --> 01:26:26.847 You're going to be a crying girly man. 01:26:26.867 --> 01:26:27.968 Is that what you want? 01:26:28.409 --> 01:26:29.570 Is that a good tactic though? 01:26:29.670 --> 01:26:30.231 That's no good. 01:26:30.291 --> 01:26:30.832 Terrible business. 01:26:30.852 --> 01:26:35.276 And finally... What I say is, sorry, with crying, because you do have to regulate the crying sometimes. 01:26:35.316 --> 01:26:38.720 Sometimes there's crying over, you know, the telly's being switched off or whatever. 01:26:39.321 --> 01:26:42.885 And then I say, you don't cry about the telly being switched off. 01:26:43.405 --> 01:26:45.086 Crying is a valuable thing. 01:26:45.366 --> 01:26:47.928 You've got to save it for when things get really bad. 01:26:47.948 --> 01:26:48.568 That's good logic. 01:26:48.728 --> 01:27:01.696 Like when I, you know, if you break, here's the when you're allowed to cry, when you break something, one of your limbs, or if someone is really unbelievably horrible to you, if you're in a sort of gossip girl type situation. 01:27:01.797 --> 01:27:05.599 Do you think it's healthy to encourage children to control their crying? 01:27:05.859 --> 01:27:08.741 To, yeah, to have some kind of... Because you're telling them to repress emotion. 01:27:08.781 --> 01:27:09.421 Is that healthy? 01:27:10.102 --> 01:27:14.905 Yeah, well, no, I'm telling them to filter the emotions, to consider the nature of the emotions. 01:27:14.925 --> 01:27:15.565 Is that healthy? 01:27:15.805 --> 01:27:16.065 Yes. 01:27:16.185 --> 01:27:16.766 No, it's not. 01:27:17.186 --> 01:27:17.886 You're a bad father. 01:27:18.807 --> 01:27:19.367 Final text. 01:27:19.608 --> 01:27:20.608 Tom from Reading. 01:27:21.008 --> 01:27:25.511 At my ninth birthday party, I was bored and thought it would be funny to give smarties to my cousin Will. 01:27:25.531 --> 01:27:29.854 It was well known in my family that food colouring and fizzy pop made Will hyper. 01:27:30.434 --> 01:27:31.034 He went nuts. 01:27:31.435 --> 01:27:35.756 He picked up a brick, smashed it through the patio window, claiming, Smarties make me naughty. 01:27:36.737 --> 01:27:38.577 I got sent to my room for the rest of the day. 01:27:42.119 --> 01:27:44.780 So wait, he fed the Smarties? 01:27:45.140 --> 01:27:45.340 Yeah. 01:27:45.420 --> 01:27:47.801 Thought it would be funny to give Smarties to my cousin Will. 01:27:48.061 --> 01:27:50.682 Well-known food colouring fizzy pop made Will hyper. 01:27:50.942 --> 01:27:51.503 Went nuts. 01:27:51.703 --> 01:27:52.383 Picked up brick. 01:27:52.823 --> 01:27:53.864 Brick through patio window. 01:27:53.884 --> 01:27:55.264 Quote, Smarties make me naughty. 01:27:55.304 --> 01:27:57.305 Will is getting away with murder. 01:27:57.765 --> 01:27:59.006 Smarties make me naughty! 01:27:59.046 --> 01:27:59.666 What do you want? 01:28:01.962 --> 01:28:02.624 I had to! 01:28:02.644 --> 01:28:03.745 Had to do this! 01:28:03.786 --> 01:28:04.968 Marty's made me naughty! 01:28:05.028 --> 01:28:05.508 Shut up! 01:28:05.709 --> 01:28:06.630 Now that's a party. 01:28:08.153 --> 01:28:09.075 Okay, here's Yuck. 01:28:09.716 --> 01:28:10.958 And... get away. 01:28:12.559 --> 01:28:14.759 That's Yuck with Get Away. 01:28:14.820 --> 01:28:15.980 This is BBC6 music. 01:28:16.440 --> 01:28:17.440 Adam and Joe here. 01:28:17.500 --> 01:28:23.861 Stay tuned because at one o'clock today you're going to be joined by Liz Kershaw. 01:28:23.941 --> 01:28:29.202 Liz is in the house and she's going to be talking to Killing Joke frontman Jazz Coleman, the jazz man, the jazz expert. 01:28:29.222 --> 01:28:33.423 He's going to be in here sharing his fantasy party music choices with Liz. 01:28:33.823 --> 01:28:35.523 That's coming up in her show so don't miss it. 01:28:35.703 --> 01:28:38.084 If you miss it you're going to be very depressed. 01:28:38.564 --> 01:28:44.512 For the rest of the day, you might even, uh, consider doing something terrible and, uh, nobody wants to see that happen. 01:28:44.532 --> 01:28:45.834 So for goodness sake, stay tuned. 01:28:45.854 --> 01:28:56.008 1 PM Liz Kershaw here on BBC six music with jazz Coleman jazz, jazz, the bringer of jazz, the jazz man from killing joke, very serious. 01:28:57.049 --> 01:29:11.086 jazz expert he's gonna be here that's not true he's not a jazz expert but he is serious actually he might be he's multi-talented he can turn his hand from classical music to all of the other music and anything he likes and it'll turn out good 01:29:11.867 --> 01:29:12.947 How do you think that sentence went? 01:29:13.848 --> 01:29:14.688 It was good. 01:29:14.928 --> 01:29:18.049 You made that link very very easy for me. 01:29:19.410 --> 01:29:20.370 So here's a free plate. 01:29:20.470 --> 01:29:22.071 Is it hot enough? 01:29:23.811 --> 01:29:24.612 How hot is it out there? 01:29:24.632 --> 01:29:26.893 It's air conditioned in this studio so we can't really tell. 01:29:26.933 --> 01:29:28.273 Is it warming up good? 01:29:28.793 --> 01:29:29.514 Do you think? 01:29:29.534 --> 01:29:30.254 Does anybody know? 01:29:31.154 --> 01:29:31.854 We don't really know. 01:29:32.595 --> 01:29:34.295 Yeah, we assume it is. 01:29:34.615 --> 01:29:37.156 So here's a song that you're only allowed to play when it gets pretty hot. 01:29:37.196 --> 01:29:38.816 This is a, I was going to pick this one. 01:29:39.076 --> 01:29:39.757 Well, I did it. 01:29:39.897 --> 01:29:40.117 Yeah. 01:29:40.137 --> 01:29:42.537 You know, shall I tell you a little backstory to this? 01:29:42.557 --> 01:29:43.258 Say what it is first. 01:29:43.338 --> 01:29:44.858 It's Summer Madness by Cool and the Gang. 01:29:45.078 --> 01:29:47.199 And this of course forms the original. 01:29:47.459 --> 01:29:51.000 This is the sample of Will Smith's Summertime. 01:29:51.420 --> 01:29:53.440 And the, don't forget the Jazzy Jeff Man. 01:29:53.620 --> 01:29:54.801 Who could forget Jazzy Jeff Man? 01:29:55.461 --> 01:30:03.445 picked this song out when I filled in for Jonathan Ross with Lisa Tarbuck last year on the radio and Paul Weller was one of the guests. 01:30:03.745 --> 01:30:07.106 He came in and I thought, Oh, what the heck am I going to say to Paul Weller? 01:30:07.146 --> 01:30:08.747 Oh, this is when you tried your Paul Weller joke. 01:30:08.807 --> 01:30:09.127 All right. 01:30:09.187 --> 01:30:09.387 Yeah. 01:30:09.467 --> 01:30:10.068 What was your joke? 01:30:10.128 --> 01:30:11.428 Weller, Weller, Weller, wasn't it? 01:30:11.688 --> 01:30:12.109 Exactly. 01:30:12.369 --> 01:30:17.431 Saying to him, do people ever say to you, Paul Weller, Weller, Weller, tell me more. 01:30:17.491 --> 01:30:18.111 Tell me more. 01:30:18.332 --> 01:30:19.952 And it didn't go down very well, did it? 01:30:20.012 --> 01:30:20.633 Yeah, he hated it. 01:30:21.693 --> 01:30:26.839 But one of the things, like I did so much research on the guy, cause I don't really know much about Paul Weller's music. 01:30:26.899 --> 01:30:28.420 It's a bit of a gap in my music knowledge. 01:30:29.101 --> 01:30:36.269 And I did so much research, bought his albums, listened to his albums, read interviews with him, knew that he was a fan of this kind of music. 01:30:36.309 --> 01:30:40.273 So I deliberately brought in Summer Madness by Cool and the Gang to try and curry some favor. 01:30:40.614 --> 01:30:41.455 And he liked the track. 01:30:41.495 --> 01:30:42.636 He's like, Oh yeah, Summer Madness. 01:30:42.696 --> 01:30:43.196 Yeah, it's great. 01:30:43.217 --> 01:30:43.317 Yeah. 01:30:44.237 --> 01:30:45.798 And so I thought, yeah, this is all going well. 01:30:45.838 --> 01:30:49.740 And that's the reason I unleashed my Paul Weller, Weller, Weller ooh joke. 01:30:49.900 --> 01:30:52.541 So this now has a bad, a bad stink. 01:30:52.701 --> 01:31:03.246 All I'm going to be able to think about is Paul Weller's beady little bird eyes boring into my soul and him trying to restrain himself from punching me in my stupid fat face. 01:31:03.346 --> 01:31:07.028 Well, that's a nice image to think about while we listen to the song, his crew and the gang, Summer Madness. 01:31:09.713 --> 01:31:14.958 We were going to say the same thing there, so I just backpedaled out of it. 01:31:15.559 --> 01:31:16.399 By the ultrasonical thing? 01:31:16.419 --> 01:31:20.843 Yeah, I just said ultra... Because I thought it'd sound silly if we both said it. 01:31:20.863 --> 01:31:21.444 Yeah, yeah. 01:31:21.684 --> 01:31:23.746 Well, that's pretty much it for our show this week. 01:31:24.106 --> 01:31:26.148 Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for listening. 01:31:26.288 --> 01:31:27.189 Really appreciate it. 01:31:27.429 --> 01:31:39.797 Yeah, don't forget you can listen live via the BBC iPlayer to the whole thing if you're mad or if you're a tiny bit less mad you can download the podcast which will be available tomorrow evening or something like that or is it Monday mornings now? 01:31:40.417 --> 01:31:41.078 Tomorrow evening. 01:31:41.098 --> 01:31:43.259 Here's a reason why you would want to listen to the whole thing again, right? 01:31:43.399 --> 01:31:47.062 And this is a situation that many people find themselves in, especially if they're family people. 01:31:47.323 --> 01:31:50.406 They have lots of children buzzing around, people coming and going, that kind of thing. 01:31:50.446 --> 01:31:53.008 It's a sociable Saturday morning maybe. 01:31:53.028 --> 01:31:54.029 And they don't get to listen. 01:31:54.069 --> 01:31:56.291 They listen to little bits of the programme. 01:32:03.809 --> 01:32:26.363 are very uptight about time why don't you relax a little bit a tick tock tick tock don't worry life isn't ending you know you can download the pod you can you can listen again later on so don't be so uptight about time okay so that's what i'm saying is that if you were distracted um in portions of this program and you'd like to listen again it's easily done just go on the iPlayer it's not a big problem 01:32:26.883 --> 01:32:27.323 Do it there. 01:32:28.264 --> 01:32:30.166 And have you been on the iPlayer recently, Joe? 01:32:30.867 --> 01:32:34.690 Yeah, well I was on the iPlayer to watch Professor Brian Cox's program. 01:32:34.710 --> 01:32:35.190 Of course, yeah. 01:32:35.451 --> 01:32:37.312 Are they not renaming the iPlayer soon? 01:32:37.813 --> 01:32:38.093 Are they? 01:32:38.113 --> 01:32:43.938 They're calling it something like... Oh, like Splotch or something, or Screenwaz. 01:32:44.579 --> 01:32:45.580 Yeah, something like that. 01:32:45.620 --> 01:32:46.300 I think Screenwaz is... 01:32:47.261 --> 01:32:48.842 That's exactly what they're going to call it. 01:32:48.862 --> 01:32:49.402 Total telly. 01:32:50.702 --> 01:32:52.023 No, it's something special, isn't it? 01:32:52.063 --> 01:32:53.563 And it's like, aren't they merging them all? 01:32:53.603 --> 01:33:01.546 All the channels, all the channels are coming together to do like, to destroy themselves by making television irrelevant. 01:33:01.946 --> 01:33:03.026 Aggregated distraction plan. 01:33:03.046 --> 01:33:03.226 Good plan. 01:33:03.246 --> 01:33:04.287 Great plan, TV channels. 01:33:06.067 --> 01:33:06.668 Oh, telly. 01:33:06.948 --> 01:33:07.328 It's dead. 01:33:07.488 --> 01:33:08.149 It's absolutely dead. 01:33:08.189 --> 01:33:09.570 I don't watch telly anymore. 01:33:11.031 --> 01:33:12.111 So, what was my point? 01:33:12.552 --> 01:33:13.572 Yeah, it's on the iPlayer. 01:33:13.852 --> 01:33:18.555 Some people have reacted quite angrily to Cool and the Gang with Summer Madness. 01:33:18.575 --> 01:33:18.856 Why? 01:33:19.256 --> 01:33:21.117 What a terrible and boring song, says somebody. 01:33:21.417 --> 01:33:27.001 It's like a cross between lift music, shopping channel music, and adult entertainment music. 01:33:27.661 --> 01:33:28.342 Oh dear. 01:33:28.462 --> 01:33:29.403 Oh dear. 01:33:29.543 --> 01:33:31.465 Matt's having a bad Saturday. 01:33:31.485 --> 01:33:32.246 What's Matt asking? 01:33:32.266 --> 01:33:32.827 What he's listening to? 01:33:32.867 --> 01:33:33.368 This is the thing. 01:33:33.408 --> 01:33:36.471 If people criticize, they have to put underneath what they would rather hear. 01:33:36.751 --> 01:33:39.434 And then we can judge them. 01:33:39.594 --> 01:33:44.199 Matt's punishment is he had to listen to it and now it's put him in a bad mood. 01:33:44.219 --> 01:33:46.101 Sorry, Matt. 01:33:46.882 --> 01:33:47.803 But you're ignorant. 01:33:48.504 --> 01:33:49.304 That's a good song. 01:33:50.365 --> 01:33:52.706 So on that upbeat note, on that friendly note. 01:33:54.927 --> 01:33:57.628 Targeting a listener. 01:33:58.028 --> 01:33:58.808 Sorry you didn't like that song. 01:33:58.828 --> 01:33:59.188 I love you. 01:33:59.488 --> 01:33:59.829 I love you. 01:34:00.369 --> 01:34:03.110 We're going to play one more track now from the Go team. 01:34:03.150 --> 01:34:03.770 They're in a kitchen. 01:34:03.790 --> 01:34:04.670 They got pots and pans. 01:34:04.690 --> 01:34:06.011 They're banging them together as usual. 01:34:06.231 --> 01:34:07.352 This is Apollo Throwdown. 01:34:07.372 --> 01:34:10.493 But first, thanks to everybody who texted and emailed during the show. 01:34:11.113 --> 01:34:11.813 Thanks for listening. 01:34:12.233 --> 01:34:13.494 And we'll see you the same time next week. 01:34:13.514 --> 01:34:14.174 We'll be back then. 01:34:14.214 --> 01:34:14.534 Yeah.