WEBVTT 00:05.506 --> 00:13.169 the radio, there'll be some music and some random talking in between, and then eventually the whole thing will just end. 00:35.899 --> 00:36.579 Excuse me! 00:36.599 --> 00:38.180 Excuse me! 00:38.501 --> 00:40.542 Anybody behind the castle gates? 00:41.142 --> 00:42.023 Excuse me! 00:42.043 --> 00:43.684 What do you want? 00:44.064 --> 00:46.846 I'd like to come in for Adam and Joe's Christmas Hut. 00:47.606 --> 00:52.590 Every year they do a special show from inside their Christmas Hut by the walls of the castle. 00:52.730 --> 00:55.211 Wait a second are you young Billy Barnacles? 00:55.351 --> 00:56.912 Yes I am Billy Barnacles. 00:56.972 --> 00:59.274 I knew your dad Bobby Barnacles. 01:00.188 --> 01:00.968 He was a git! 01:01.169 --> 01:02.290 Now go away! 01:02.310 --> 01:07.976 But please, I wish to come into the castle to enjoy the fiddles and warm fire of Adam and Jo's Christmas hunt. 01:08.076 --> 01:08.516 Please! 01:08.596 --> 01:09.858 Fiddles and warms, you say? 01:10.538 --> 01:14.903 Very well, I shall raise the portcullis for you, but just as once as it's Christmas strokeboxing day. 01:15.043 --> 01:16.705 Oh no, I've changed my mind, I don't want to come in. 01:16.925 --> 01:20.289 Well, be off with you and stop wasting my tiny little pods! 01:20.809 --> 01:21.430 Alright, bye bye. 01:22.881 --> 01:23.942 Hey, how you doing, listeners? 01:23.962 --> 01:26.623 That was a little pre-show panto for you there. 01:26.643 --> 01:30.446 There'll be more of that kind of thing later on in the show, but it's our special Boxing Day show. 01:30.806 --> 01:32.167 We've just arrived here in the studio. 01:32.187 --> 01:32.707 This is Adam. 01:33.228 --> 01:33.868 This is Joe. 01:33.968 --> 01:36.410 That was to set the scene, the big British castle. 01:37.130 --> 01:38.751 All covered in snow. 01:39.311 --> 01:40.512 All the hills around. 01:41.213 --> 01:42.353 All covered in snow. 01:42.954 --> 01:45.755 All the villagers and the horses and the dogs and cats and ponies. 01:47.196 --> 01:48.377 More covered in snow. 01:48.397 --> 01:52.938 And the little hut, which sits outside the castle walls. 01:52.998 --> 01:58.220 We've actually dug a little Great Escape style hole under the castle walls. 01:58.240 --> 02:00.021 Because the foundations aren't very deep. 02:00.181 --> 02:01.201 Shoddy cowboy building. 02:01.361 --> 02:01.581 Yeah. 02:02.081 --> 02:03.682 It was built by George Lamb. 02:04.362 --> 02:05.563 The hut was it? 02:05.603 --> 02:05.903 Yeah. 02:06.483 --> 02:08.323 When he was a builder. 02:08.704 --> 02:09.564 George Lamb the hut. 02:09.955 --> 02:10.215 Yeah. 02:10.255 --> 02:11.356 That's his actual full name. 02:11.416 --> 02:11.956 Lamo the Hutt. 02:12.256 --> 02:14.357 Yeah, Lamo the Hutt. 02:15.097 --> 02:16.117 It was built by George Lam. 02:16.357 --> 02:19.318 Steve Lamac lives in the eaves of the hut. 02:19.338 --> 02:24.220 Yes, he's protected by various, you know, laws to protect various bat species. 02:24.360 --> 02:31.643 Yeah, and he was found living on the site when George Lam came to erect the hut, so they weren't allowed to move Lamo. 02:32.043 --> 02:34.023 because he's protected as Joe pointed out. 02:34.083 --> 02:35.784 So he's up there somewhere in the rafters. 02:35.804 --> 02:37.484 But listen, it's cold in this little hut, boy. 02:37.504 --> 02:38.784 Have you ever mentioned Liz Kershaw? 02:39.244 --> 02:40.745 Liz Kershaw. 02:41.125 --> 02:42.545 She's underneath the hut. 02:42.825 --> 02:43.565 What do you mean? 02:43.905 --> 02:46.546 There's a little, there's like a bunker. 02:46.946 --> 02:47.246 Right. 02:47.386 --> 02:48.526 She's down there in the bunker. 02:48.586 --> 02:48.826 Right. 02:48.846 --> 02:50.467 I don't know what she gets up to down there. 02:50.547 --> 02:52.627 What is she getting up to down there? 02:52.907 --> 02:56.648 I think she's mixing herself a little cocktail and reading the music papers. 02:57.208 --> 02:58.348 And smoking a fag! 02:58.368 --> 03:00.529 Not that she does, that's terrible. 03:00.809 --> 03:01.329 No, exactly. 03:02.049 --> 03:03.889 So yeah, boy, and it's freezing in here. 03:04.009 --> 03:04.730 We need a fire. 03:04.750 --> 03:10.691 Are you gonna stoke the big metal... I'll light up the fire thing. 03:10.711 --> 03:12.251 Yeah, I've... there we go. 03:12.271 --> 03:13.431 Popped some logs in there. 03:14.352 --> 03:15.432 What are you using for logs there? 03:15.732 --> 03:16.032 Logs. 03:16.812 --> 03:19.673 Actually, they're reconstituted environmentally friendly logs. 03:20.333 --> 03:21.133 Ah, your logs. 03:21.793 --> 03:25.774 They are, yeah, they're made of, uh, they're made of actually dead humans. 03:26.795 --> 03:28.835 And then, what are you, but what kind of book are you burning? 03:28.855 --> 03:29.836 You're burning a book there. 03:29.916 --> 03:32.877 I'm burning Fahrenheit, um... 9-11. 03:33.097 --> 03:35.218 No, the other one, the... 4-5-1. 03:35.518 --> 03:36.218 Bradbury, yeah. 03:36.458 --> 03:37.518 That's ironical, isn't it? 03:37.558 --> 03:38.679 Well, that's why I'm burning it. 03:38.699 --> 03:39.799 Yeah, that's a switcheroo on Bradbury. 03:39.819 --> 03:40.759 And you know what I'm also gonna do? 03:40.859 --> 03:45.181 I'm gonna pop a DVD of Front Sweat Truffo's Big Scream version of that book on as well. 03:45.201 --> 03:45.261 Ooh. 03:45.461 --> 03:47.402 Hey, how about Burn After Reading as well? 03:47.442 --> 03:48.103 Put that in there. 03:48.523 --> 03:49.724 Yeah, I'm going to put that in there as well. 03:49.764 --> 03:50.484 Yeah, yeah. 03:50.965 --> 03:52.365 How about Burn Hollywood Burn? 03:52.405 --> 03:52.726 Wow. 03:52.786 --> 03:53.866 Directed by Alan Smithy. 03:53.886 --> 03:57.809 This is such a pop-cultural, meta bonfire. 03:57.829 --> 03:59.210 Stick it all on the bonfire. 03:59.490 --> 04:00.751 Hey, that's nice I'm getting toasty. 04:00.971 --> 04:01.771 You want a bit of music? 04:02.092 --> 04:02.972 That would be lovely. 04:03.092 --> 04:11.077 I thought this year we would listen to the Booker T and the MG's Christmas album, which we have listened to for the last Christmas. 04:11.178 --> 04:14.460 What, in the background, or are we going to actually listen to every track? 04:15.468 --> 04:16.009 We're gonna listen. 04:16.129 --> 04:17.009 No, no in the background. 04:17.049 --> 04:19.050 Yeah, we'll carry on talking over the topic nice. 04:19.230 --> 04:27.155 Yeah, let's see we're gonna kick off with jingle bells here You know when I bought this album I thought this has got to be like I love book it in the mgs, right? 04:27.716 --> 04:31.678 Obviously who doesn't so a Christmas album from the Memphis group. 04:31.958 --> 04:33.019 That's got to be the best thing ever 04:33.635 --> 04:34.375 No, it's not really. 04:35.315 --> 04:36.876 But it does the job for Boxing Day. 04:37.196 --> 04:38.496 So, listeners, happy Boxing Day. 04:38.536 --> 04:44.417 We hope you've had a fantastic Christmas Day and we hope you're full of all sorts of festive warmth. 04:44.457 --> 04:47.597 You know, Boxing Day has a very particular atmosphere, doesn't it? 04:47.657 --> 04:49.658 It's sort of the calm after the storm. 04:49.678 --> 04:50.918 You've got a very full tummy. 04:51.258 --> 04:53.639 You should hopefully be placated in terms of greed. 04:54.359 --> 04:57.199 You shouldn't feel you need any more material goods. 04:57.839 --> 05:01.400 And you should be purely kind of wallowing in love. 05:01.860 --> 05:02.681 Do you know what I mean? 05:02.721 --> 05:04.221 Like a shallow dish of love. 05:04.502 --> 05:06.002 I used to find it a very depressing day. 05:06.203 --> 05:06.583 Did you? 05:06.803 --> 05:14.627 Yeah, because the gifts, like in our house, we would have Christmas Eve presents, we would have Christmas Eve Eve presents sometimes. 05:14.887 --> 05:18.089 I want to say present, like very small little stocking full of gifts, right? 05:18.530 --> 05:23.813 But as a tease, as a build up to the big present giving bonanza on the Christmas day. 05:24.253 --> 05:27.295 I can't help feeling it's a bit of a curse for your family. 05:27.375 --> 05:27.495 Why? 05:28.175 --> 05:32.377 Well, you're very- you love a big sort of- you love lots of presents at Christmas, don't you? 05:32.397 --> 05:32.637 Sure. 05:33.018 --> 05:35.399 And you've carried that over to your own family now, haven't you? 05:35.539 --> 05:37.800 Well, I'm trying to rein it in because I realised that it's unusual. 05:37.840 --> 05:38.781 Well, that's good, that's good. 05:39.081 --> 05:40.101 I do want to go mental. 05:40.722 --> 05:44.103 Well, that's the point I was going to make, that you might go mental, but it sounds as if you're on top of that already. 05:44.644 --> 05:45.124 More or less. 05:45.144 --> 05:46.805 I think it's good to give your kids paper clips. 05:47.225 --> 05:47.565 Do you? 05:47.785 --> 05:48.246 Sand. 05:48.546 --> 05:49.646 Yeah, you wait till you have children. 05:49.666 --> 05:50.527 See how that goes down. 05:50.967 --> 05:52.748 Well, you have to start that way. 05:53.068 --> 05:54.428 Laser mud, maybe. 05:54.668 --> 05:56.389 Remote control sand, fine. 05:56.749 --> 06:01.832 But otherwise, listen, we are going to crack out some booze and some food in just a second. 06:01.852 --> 06:03.572 But first, let's play some music. 06:03.632 --> 06:06.414 This is one of the acts that has done extremely well in 2009. 06:06.954 --> 06:11.456 And I'm sure great things are in store for her in 2010 too. 06:11.476 --> 06:14.637 That's a little DJ type build up to Florence and the Machine, Joe. 06:14.657 --> 06:15.018 Did you enjoy it? 06:16.218 --> 06:16.718 Yeah, I did. 06:17.419 --> 06:18.980 Here's a track called You've Got the Love. 06:19.581 --> 06:22.443 Florence and the Martian there with You've Got the Love. 06:22.483 --> 06:31.570 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music special Boxing Day show, which we have to tell you in the interests of transparency is pre-recorded listeners. 06:32.150 --> 06:37.274 So you probably shouldn't text or email us today because unfortunately, we won't be able to read your messages. 06:37.675 --> 06:42.458 But we have simulated the precise psychological, emotional and physical conditions of Boxing Day. 06:42.618 --> 06:43.299 Yeah, exactly. 06:43.539 --> 06:46.422 Our producer, James, has wrapped the studio with tinsel. 06:46.602 --> 06:48.124 Yeah, really nice job, James. 06:48.144 --> 06:49.064 And this isn't a lie. 06:49.525 --> 06:50.126 We couldn't lie. 06:50.166 --> 06:51.106 We can't lie on the BBC. 06:51.127 --> 06:52.548 We'd be immediately fired. 06:52.608 --> 06:55.371 So we're genuinely sitting in a very tinsel-y environment. 06:55.391 --> 06:56.352 Listen, you can hear it. 06:56.552 --> 06:58.734 And he's even put little flashy lights. 06:58.874 --> 06:59.655 Fairy lights. 06:59.675 --> 07:01.076 Yeah, they're called fairy lights. 07:01.577 --> 07:03.138 And he's put them around the microphone. 07:03.158 --> 07:04.720 See if you can hear this one blinking on and off. 07:06.081 --> 07:06.762 No, you can't. 07:07.222 --> 07:08.584 These are special fairies. 07:08.604 --> 07:11.928 He's actually got, he's gone out and he's harvested real fairies. 07:11.968 --> 07:13.830 He's put fairies inside little glass test sheets. 07:13.850 --> 07:17.334 And he's jammed their feet into like electrical sockets. 07:17.434 --> 07:18.415 It's quite troubling. 07:18.736 --> 07:23.080 I mean, you might be able to hear a tiny little scream if I put it even closer to the mic. 07:23.121 --> 07:23.361 Listen. 07:27.469 --> 07:31.952 That's the sound of a fairy screaming when... It seems cruel, but the effect is absolutely bewitching. 07:31.972 --> 07:34.694 240 volts are passed up one leg and down the other. 07:34.714 --> 07:41.379 Because they've got very strong little wings, so what happens is the electricity lights up the wings in a very pleasing fashion. 07:41.880 --> 07:43.841 And their eyes flash as well. 07:44.001 --> 07:46.523 It's very bewitching, but also disturbing. 07:46.563 --> 07:47.804 But hey, that's Christmas. 07:47.944 --> 07:48.685 That is Christmas. 07:48.725 --> 07:50.106 You know, some fairies have got to suffer. 07:50.686 --> 07:51.547 That's what we're saying. 07:52.267 --> 07:52.688 They're fine. 07:52.728 --> 07:53.488 The fairies are fine. 07:54.109 --> 07:58.833 But listen, folks, I didn't have enough food and booze yesterday, so I want more right now. 07:59.153 --> 08:00.514 I definitely want a bit of booze. 08:00.554 --> 08:07.740 And as we've always said every year, listeners, Boxing Day morning, even though it's, you know, just past 10, it's absolutely fine to drink. 08:08.181 --> 08:12.064 It's the one day of the year when it's fine to drink unless you've got a serious problem. 08:12.264 --> 08:14.006 In which case it's probably not. 08:14.466 --> 08:15.767 It's not the day to fall off the wagon. 08:15.827 --> 08:19.469 If you've made it, if you're on the wagon, right, and you've made it through this far. 08:19.649 --> 08:20.390 Stay on that wagon. 08:20.410 --> 08:21.370 Stay on the wagon, boy. 08:21.390 --> 08:22.871 Because Boxing Day's not the day to fall off. 08:22.891 --> 08:24.392 Have a little bit of fizzy water. 08:24.452 --> 08:24.552 Yeah. 08:24.572 --> 08:25.413 Some fizzy water. 08:25.433 --> 08:26.353 Some lemon cordial. 08:27.414 --> 08:29.195 A bit of fizzy lemon cordial. 08:29.495 --> 08:30.516 Have some soda pop. 08:31.896 --> 08:31.996 Oh. 08:32.096 --> 08:33.117 Did you hear that, mate? 08:33.157 --> 08:34.298 Nicely opened, mate. 08:34.318 --> 08:35.759 That's the sound of a bottle of chompers. 08:36.559 --> 08:40.883 Except you didn't pop it off so that it fired into the corner of the room and broke something. 08:41.483 --> 08:43.085 Oh, I'll do that tonight when I'm on my own. 08:43.105 --> 08:43.885 What's the problem? 08:43.925 --> 08:45.647 What's your problem, mate? 08:45.687 --> 08:46.187 Here we go. 08:46.207 --> 08:49.490 There's a little glass of champagne for you. 08:50.271 --> 08:51.391 How much champagne is in? 08:51.431 --> 08:52.733 It's all bubbles, mate. 08:52.753 --> 08:55.235 There's not very much, because frankly, Adam, I don't think you can handle it. 08:55.255 --> 08:56.336 We're using paper cups. 08:56.756 --> 09:02.020 And the way Joe's poured it, it's like about... It's a thimbleful with the rest of the thing all just bubbles. 09:02.120 --> 09:02.661 Mm, fizzy. 09:02.901 --> 09:03.421 Can you hear that? 09:03.441 --> 09:07.884 Do you think the density of champagne bubbles is much smaller than the density of conventional bubbles? 09:08.505 --> 09:09.585 Yes, I happen to know it is. 09:09.686 --> 09:09.946 Is it? 09:10.346 --> 09:11.967 Really? 09:12.007 --> 09:14.229 We're not actually drinking champagne champagne. 09:14.249 --> 09:14.929 Are we? 09:15.109 --> 09:17.351 No, we're drinking UK sparkling wine. 09:17.391 --> 09:18.091 It's organic though. 09:18.211 --> 09:19.572 I mean, it is the same thing. 09:19.672 --> 09:22.694 They're just not allowed to call it champagne because it's not from the champagne region in France. 09:23.014 --> 09:23.495 Oh, dear. 09:23.615 --> 09:24.675 Oh, spillovers. 09:25.356 --> 09:26.717 Oh, that's embarrassing, isn't it? 09:28.168 --> 09:29.388 Have you ever poured champagne before? 09:29.548 --> 09:29.749 No. 09:30.969 --> 09:31.669 It bubbled over. 09:31.789 --> 09:36.431 My dad gets furious when someone pours champagne badly, because he's a wine punks. 09:37.171 --> 09:41.693 So if there's any bubbling over and stuff, he just gets very agitated from the get set. 09:42.453 --> 09:46.494 Now, what's your approach on eating decorations on the tree? 09:47.615 --> 09:49.375 When are you allowed to eat the decorations on the tree? 09:49.395 --> 09:51.116 Do you have to wait until Christmas Day to eat them? 09:51.136 --> 09:52.036 It's disgusting. 09:52.096 --> 09:54.037 Do you have to wait until the tree's taken down? 09:55.017 --> 09:57.419 Sorry man, this is the most rank sparkling wine ever. 09:57.439 --> 09:58.240 That's alright, this tastes nice. 09:58.260 --> 09:58.801 Have you tasted it? 09:58.901 --> 09:59.201 Yeah. 09:59.721 --> 10:00.462 Tastes like bleach. 10:01.563 --> 10:02.123 Busy bleach. 10:02.564 --> 10:03.144 Pooey bleach. 10:04.205 --> 10:05.566 It's got a little poo note hasn't it? 10:05.827 --> 10:07.588 It does have a little pooey aftertaste. 10:07.628 --> 10:09.229 Are you sure this is, what is this? 10:09.249 --> 10:10.290 A little poo poo call back. 10:10.390 --> 10:11.351 How organic is this? 10:11.952 --> 10:13.133 Hang on, let me just read the label. 10:13.993 --> 10:14.474 Chateau. 10:14.574 --> 10:15.355 Where did you get it from? 10:15.455 --> 10:15.895 Boggins. 10:17.316 --> 10:19.738 I don't know what that could mean. 10:19.758 --> 10:20.459 Where did you get it from? 10:20.679 --> 10:22.400 I got it from the offy across the road. 10:22.440 --> 10:23.721 It's not even the offy. 10:24.342 --> 10:26.244 I got it from the news agent across the road. 10:26.784 --> 10:28.706 You know what I had to do is go to the chill section, right? 10:28.726 --> 10:30.127 Because they didn't have any chilled champagne. 10:30.687 --> 10:34.030 So I had to pull out the bottles of wine in the chill cabinet. 10:34.110 --> 10:38.394 And right at the back I could see some silvery foil stuff on the top of the bottle. 10:38.414 --> 10:40.195 So I thought, ooh, look at the chilled champagne. 10:40.535 --> 10:42.317 It wasn't, it was chateau boggins. 10:42.557 --> 10:43.418 I think it's delicious. 10:44.739 --> 10:45.900 I like the way your voice went. 10:45.920 --> 10:50.023 Yeah, well that's the effect champagne has on me actually. 10:50.063 --> 10:53.045 To bubble settle in the bottom of my windbag. 10:53.725 --> 10:55.407 And I start speaking like this. 10:55.467 --> 10:56.768 Yeah, absolutely. 10:56.808 --> 11:00.671 Sorry, listen Charlie, you were asking about food. 11:00.711 --> 11:01.891 Eating food off the tree. 11:01.911 --> 11:04.373 Is it cool to eat it? 11:04.593 --> 11:06.755 When is it cool to eat the chocky? 11:06.875 --> 11:08.877 You're talking about sort of chocky decorations. 11:09.477 --> 11:11.440 Chocorations. 11:11.660 --> 11:15.806 I would say it's cool to eat those after you get your prezzies on the big day. 11:16.146 --> 11:16.487 Really? 11:16.567 --> 11:16.827 Yeah. 11:17.428 --> 11:17.748 Do you not? 11:18.309 --> 11:21.133 You couldn't have a little Santa just a couple of days before Christmas? 11:21.173 --> 11:21.874 No one would notice. 11:21.894 --> 11:23.196 What if it's from around the back of the tree? 11:24.111 --> 11:25.612 Well, that's... A chalky centre. 11:25.692 --> 11:26.693 Yeah, that's all right, isn't it? 11:26.713 --> 11:26.853 Yeah. 11:27.033 --> 11:27.793 No one's gonna notice. 11:27.933 --> 11:28.174 No. 11:28.334 --> 11:28.914 What's the big problem? 11:28.954 --> 11:34.998 Do you think it's right to wrap pretend empty presents that just have polystyrene in them and hang that off the tree? 11:35.338 --> 11:38.640 You know, I saw Matthew Wright talking about this on his show the other day. 11:38.820 --> 11:39.000 Wicked. 11:39.080 --> 11:40.341 That was the big topic of conversation. 11:40.381 --> 11:40.821 Was it? 11:40.841 --> 11:41.182 No, I'm joking. 11:41.202 --> 11:41.682 Fake presents. 11:41.962 --> 11:42.963 Do you think it's right? 11:43.763 --> 11:44.924 Darrat, what was your question? 11:45.124 --> 11:46.125 Do you think it's right? 11:46.165 --> 11:47.405 I mean, this is a serious question. 11:47.425 --> 11:48.006 It's a big question. 11:48.246 --> 11:54.430 Do you think it's right to have fake presents under your tree to bulk up the visual effect? 11:54.490 --> 11:55.151 That is a big question. 11:55.171 --> 11:56.411 Or hanging off the tree? 11:56.572 --> 11:56.892 No way! 11:56.992 --> 12:08.059 Because when I was a kid and I saw a little wrapped up presy and I'd go up and sometimes when no one was looking I'd have a little peek under the paper and it would just be empty or hollow or polystyrene or something. 12:08.079 --> 12:09.340 Where are you talking about here? 12:09.580 --> 12:10.761 on people's Christmas trees. 12:10.901 --> 12:12.262 In, like, human people. 12:12.542 --> 12:13.282 Human people. 12:13.342 --> 12:13.982 Not in shops. 12:14.263 --> 12:14.943 Not in shops. 12:15.063 --> 12:15.283 What? 12:15.503 --> 12:17.064 You knew people that did fake presents. 12:17.084 --> 12:17.725 Some people do that. 12:17.745 --> 12:19.506 Well, sometimes they're just decorations, aren't they? 12:19.686 --> 12:21.086 They're little present decorations. 12:21.227 --> 12:21.967 That is a disgrace. 12:21.987 --> 12:24.488 I'm not saying they're, like, simulated presents for their kids. 12:24.608 --> 12:24.889 Yeah. 12:25.029 --> 12:25.949 I'm saying they're decorative. 12:25.969 --> 12:28.651 I know what you're saying, but still, that is the height of madness. 12:28.671 --> 12:29.471 Well, then we agree. 12:29.871 --> 12:30.432 Yeah, good. 12:30.532 --> 12:33.333 All gift-wrapped objects must have something of value inside them. 12:33.353 --> 12:33.613 Definitely. 12:33.633 --> 12:37.596 Otherwise, the person who gift-wrapped that non-valuable object... Mm-hmm. 12:38.476 --> 13:02.834 will be punished good speaking of gift wrapped object oh that was a bad sentence wasn't it that was a drink sentence flipping heck that was a glass of champagne it wasn't even a square one with that sentence bicker all right op it speaking of gift wrapped objects we have some gifts to give each other it's how the most horrible it was expensive as well 24.99 i thought for nearly 25 quid 13:05.356 --> 13:06.637 Then it's got to be alright. 13:06.798 --> 13:08.780 It is absolutely rankalocious. 13:08.800 --> 13:09.160 I love it. 13:09.300 --> 13:10.722 James, did we even give you a glass? 13:11.623 --> 13:12.003 Have some. 13:12.023 --> 13:13.104 You've got to taste it, James. 13:13.685 --> 13:15.006 It is like paint stripper. 13:15.386 --> 13:17.729 But yes, we're going to be giving each other gifts throughout the show. 13:17.749 --> 13:21.593 We've dispensed with our usual features, ladies and gentlemen. 13:22.053 --> 13:27.579 And as a Christmassy thing, as is tradition between myself and Joe, we're going to be giving each other gifts that we've bought each other. 13:28.425 --> 13:30.126 But right now, here's some more music. 13:30.206 --> 13:32.907 Joe is considering chomping a delicious chocolate Santa. 13:32.967 --> 13:34.768 Oh my god, I've got a problem with this chocolate Santa. 13:34.788 --> 13:34.888 Why? 13:34.928 --> 13:35.408 What's the problem? 13:35.688 --> 13:40.531 Well, it's Santa-shaped, but again, like my point about the presents, take the Santa wrapping off. 13:41.011 --> 13:41.491 Feature-less. 13:42.531 --> 13:42.972 Oh, right. 13:43.012 --> 13:44.012 There's just lines. 13:44.072 --> 13:45.173 There's just lines. 13:45.233 --> 13:45.833 That's wrong. 13:46.613 --> 13:47.934 What's happened to Christmas? 13:48.394 --> 13:50.075 Now, here's the first of my free plays. 13:50.115 --> 13:51.836 This is one of my favorite tracks from 2009. 13:52.517 --> 13:55.019 A wonderful band, Wild Beasts. 13:55.339 --> 13:57.480 They played a blinder on Jules Holland, incidentally. 13:57.500 --> 13:59.301 I saw them on there and it was a real thrill. 13:59.722 --> 14:05.465 The first real thrill I'd got watching a band on there for a long time, you know, just thinking, wow, this is what it's all about. 14:05.506 --> 14:06.746 These guys, I want to snog them. 14:07.187 --> 14:09.908 And this is called We Still Got the Taste Dancing on Our Tongues. 14:10.309 --> 14:10.849 Oh, mate. 14:11.429 --> 14:12.070 I love that. 14:12.470 --> 14:13.151 Wild Beasts. 14:13.371 --> 14:14.992 We Still Got the Taste Dancing on Our Tongues. 14:15.372 --> 14:17.734 I've just been out to the Frigidaire and got... 14:18.534 --> 14:21.255 the bottle of sparkling rosé wine that I also bought. 14:21.275 --> 14:23.956 We haven't even finished the organic sparkling English wine. 14:23.976 --> 14:30.157 The only way that that is salvageable is if someone had a pint of orange juice to make it a kind of Buck's Fizz, but we don't have any orange juice to hand. 14:30.557 --> 14:35.299 Hello listeners, you're listening to Adam and Jo's special Christmas show on Boxing Day 2009. 14:35.559 --> 14:36.779 It's lovely to have you along. 14:36.799 --> 14:40.640 We're broadcasting from our little wooden hut just outside the walls of the big British castle. 14:40.660 --> 14:43.441 We've got a lovely log fire and a bit of music playing. 14:43.781 --> 14:46.022 Adam's popping open a bottle of rosé. 14:46.602 --> 14:51.304 Right, I'm gonna pop this, I'm gonna slam this one into the ceiling of the- Oh, it's not fizzy though, mate, is it? 14:51.684 --> 14:52.064 Yeah, it is. 14:52.644 --> 14:53.365 Well, not if it's rosé. 14:53.425 --> 14:54.665 Sparkling rosé. 14:55.105 --> 14:55.605 Here we go. 14:56.486 --> 15:01.327 Gonna smash this into the ceiling and I'm gonna try and see if I can knock Calamo off his perch up there. 15:05.589 --> 15:06.229 What is happening? 15:06.990 --> 15:07.810 Sorry, I'm screaming. 15:07.850 --> 15:08.670 Here we go, here we go. 15:08.730 --> 15:08.950 Trouble. 15:09.110 --> 15:10.751 Oh, I'm going to drink, I'm glad. 15:11.388 --> 15:11.748 I got him. 15:12.990 --> 15:14.431 He's gone back to sleep again now. 15:15.472 --> 15:16.593 Right, let's see if this is any better. 15:16.673 --> 15:17.834 So is it present giving time? 15:17.854 --> 15:18.775 It's present giving time. 15:18.795 --> 15:31.067 We were saying earlier that of course the present giving is over for most of the country but here at the castle in our little hut Adam and I have yet to give each other our Christmas presents and every year we decide, what is it, three presents each? 15:31.167 --> 15:31.887 Three presents each. 15:31.967 --> 15:32.188 Yeah. 15:32.768 --> 15:35.769 So every half an hour a present will be going either one way or another. 15:36.169 --> 15:38.849 And I'm very excited about your presence that you've got for me. 15:39.110 --> 15:39.410 Are you? 15:39.430 --> 15:43.251 Well, did you genuinely like any of the ones I got you last year? 15:43.271 --> 15:44.031 Can you remember any of them? 15:44.051 --> 15:45.771 I remember the old copies of Smash Hits. 15:45.791 --> 15:46.951 That's quite good, wasn't it? 15:47.111 --> 15:47.932 That was a good one. 15:48.212 --> 15:49.232 That's the only one I remember. 15:49.272 --> 15:50.352 It wasn't Smash Hits, though. 15:50.392 --> 15:51.893 It was Sky Magazine. 15:51.913 --> 15:52.313 Sky Magazine. 15:52.493 --> 15:53.433 Yeah, that one I remember. 15:54.433 --> 15:55.213 The others I've blanked. 15:55.573 --> 15:55.753 Sure. 15:56.654 --> 15:58.654 Now, I'm going to... That's a terrifying question, to be honest. 15:58.674 --> 15:59.154 Who's going to start? 15:59.254 --> 16:00.455 Are you going to start or am I going to start? 16:00.475 --> 16:01.475 No, I think you should give me one. 16:01.495 --> 16:01.875 All right, then. 16:02.495 --> 16:03.576 I'm gonna give you my worst one. 16:03.996 --> 16:05.797 Okay, start at the bottom. 16:05.837 --> 16:07.178 Yeah, start at the bottom, work your way up. 16:07.418 --> 16:17.165 So, um, listen as this is a little silver package, it is, ooh, it's the shape of a sort of a large mince pie. 16:17.885 --> 16:22.308 It's got a circular top and a kind of bowl-like bottom, just like me. 16:23.189 --> 16:26.011 And it's got a little smiley-faced sticker on the bottom. 16:26.031 --> 16:26.791 That's very nice. 16:27.051 --> 16:27.392 Yeah, that's good. 16:27.452 --> 16:29.053 I mean, you've gotten the extra distance there. 16:29.153 --> 16:29.913 I'm trying to cheer you up. 16:29.993 --> 16:31.895 A present adorned, and if I press it, 16:32.915 --> 16:37.657 It clicks a bit like what's the board game which had a sort of clear dome in the middle and two dice under it? 16:37.817 --> 16:38.637 And you would click it. 16:38.657 --> 16:39.578 What the heck was that? 16:39.658 --> 16:41.318 Is that Boggle or... Boggins. 16:41.758 --> 16:43.059 Boggins, the board game? 16:43.159 --> 16:44.519 Yeah, Coggle, Woggle, one of those. 16:44.539 --> 16:45.159 Do you know the one? 16:45.179 --> 16:45.840 I do know the one. 16:45.860 --> 16:47.520 And you press it, it's sort of making that kind of sound. 16:47.540 --> 16:49.421 And it would pound the dice around inside to randomise them. 16:49.441 --> 16:52.302 There's a way to be able to roll dice without ever risking losing them. 16:52.362 --> 16:54.663 That was a good way of doing it, because... It doesn't rattle though. 16:54.723 --> 16:57.784 As we've spoken about games before, sometimes a dice strike... 16:59.145 --> 17:01.666 Oh, it's a kind of novelty get your hands off. 17:01.706 --> 17:02.287 He's reaching out. 17:02.307 --> 17:05.469 I'm trying to touch it You know, I switched the batteries round so it wouldn't go off. 17:05.549 --> 17:05.729 Okay. 17:05.969 --> 17:12.213 Okay, so I need to switch the batteries around It's kind of a button like someone would have on their desk, right? 17:12.353 --> 17:20.959 Like an emergency giant red button I think it's an executive toy an executive toy in the shape of such a button and it's got the word easy written on the button. 17:22.060 --> 17:24.001 Ah You see so I press it and it goes 17:26.018 --> 17:26.819 Is that all it does? 17:27.059 --> 17:27.259 Yeah. 17:27.459 --> 17:27.680 Yeah. 17:28.741 --> 17:29.421 That was easy. 17:29.601 --> 17:31.123 Does it have anything else programmed into it? 17:31.143 --> 17:32.784 Wait, it's probably say something different now. 17:33.725 --> 17:34.446 That was easy. 17:34.726 --> 17:36.508 No, it's probably the next one. 17:37.369 --> 17:38.009 That was easy. 17:38.029 --> 17:38.690 You get the idea. 17:38.770 --> 17:39.691 What do you think it's for? 17:40.612 --> 17:43.875 Well, I suppose when I've done something and I did it easy, I go... 17:44.972 --> 17:45.912 It's half British and half American. 17:45.932 --> 17:48.093 It starts out sounding American then goes British at the end 18:05.726 --> 18:30.896 that was easy that easy that was british that was that was easy that was easy it's like ray winston in fool's gold yeah and every that was easy in every film where he plays an american well thanks a lot man that's good isn't it i told you it was the worst one yeah yeah no it's not it's good i mean what will i use that for maybe if i've had a casual affair with uh someone in the office after we finish our business 18:31.776 --> 18:32.537 That was easy. 18:34.658 --> 18:35.159 Do you think? 18:35.499 --> 18:38.922 Well, I was thinking, like, if you ever wrote a script in, like, a day or something. 18:38.962 --> 18:39.242 Yes. 18:39.262 --> 18:40.523 That was easy. 18:40.623 --> 18:42.705 You know, and that could be your little celebration there. 18:43.285 --> 18:49.410 In misery, when James Khan finishes his book, he has one cigarette and a glass of champagne. 18:49.910 --> 18:53.853 When you finish your scripts, Joe, you can press that easy button and think of me. 18:54.634 --> 18:56.656 It's a complacent attitude, though, isn't it, really? 18:57.016 --> 18:57.656 Wow. 18:57.676 --> 18:58.877 That was easy. 18:58.937 --> 19:00.939 How often can you say that about anything in life? 19:01.119 --> 19:07.884 My mindset is such that the complacency that this button implies would make me worried that it would come back and bite me on the bottom. 19:07.904 --> 19:09.084 Do you know what I mean? 19:09.545 --> 19:13.107 As soon as you press this, you're sort of inviting not-so-easy consequences. 19:13.267 --> 19:13.688 Exactly. 19:14.068 --> 19:14.468 That was easy. 19:14.488 --> 19:14.849 It's overconfident. 19:14.929 --> 19:15.729 It is overconfident. 19:15.849 --> 19:16.349 It's tempting to debate. 19:16.369 --> 19:17.530 But it's a brilliant present. 19:17.570 --> 19:18.651 Thank you very much indeed. 19:18.711 --> 19:19.391 That's exciting. 19:19.431 --> 19:23.294 And you stand by for one of your presents in the next half hour. 19:23.654 --> 19:26.095 But right now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the news. 19:26.275 --> 19:27.576 That was the Inspiral Carpets. 19:27.616 --> 19:28.457 This is how it feels. 19:28.477 --> 19:29.217 That was easy. 19:29.417 --> 19:30.078 Oh, I'm sorry. 19:30.258 --> 19:31.479 Listen, do you mind if I break it? 19:32.119 --> 19:33.020 Are you gonna smash it? 19:33.080 --> 19:34.660 No, well, I just wanted to open it. 19:34.800 --> 19:37.982 I just wondered whether it was... It's quite a big toy. 19:38.062 --> 19:38.382 Yeah. 19:38.503 --> 19:41.264 They should have made it so you could record other things on it. 19:41.344 --> 19:42.365 Well, that's what I was thinking. 19:42.385 --> 19:43.865 I mean, it's absolutely worth it. 19:44.686 --> 19:45.606 How much did it cost? 19:45.666 --> 19:45.866 I'm sorry. 19:46.207 --> 19:47.247 It cost a few quid. 19:47.687 --> 19:48.048 Really? 19:48.188 --> 19:48.968 Five pounds? 19:49.448 --> 19:53.491 I don't... Like, maybe I was tired or something, but when I bought... When I saw it, it made me chuckle. 19:54.611 --> 19:55.772 Why would it make me chuckle? 19:56.152 --> 19:56.732 I don't know. 19:56.832 --> 19:59.194 Well, you could stick it somewhere inappropriate. 19:59.454 --> 20:01.134 Well, it's a nice object, though, don't you think? 20:01.154 --> 20:02.615 It's a nice big red button. 20:02.655 --> 20:05.316 It's nice to push a big red button, isn't it just? 20:05.377 --> 20:10.619 Don't you think, like, maybe... That's the kind of thing I was thinking that someone might give to Barack Obama or someone like that. 20:11.119 --> 20:13.601 Someone with a finger on a nuclear button. 20:13.781 --> 20:15.361 It would be a fun gift to give them. 20:15.842 --> 20:17.482 Or do you think it would be frowned upon? 20:18.923 --> 20:24.325 Well, I think it would evoke a nuclear catastrophe kind of thoughts, wouldn't it? 20:24.405 --> 20:34.047 If journalists found out that Barack Obama had a big red button that said, that was easy, every time he pressed it, right next to the nuclear button, that would go down badly with the voters, wouldn't it? 20:34.227 --> 20:35.988 It's confused my head, the button. 20:36.208 --> 20:36.928 Don't worry, throw it away. 20:37.508 --> 20:37.809 Really? 20:38.029 --> 20:39.190 Yeah, I'm not gonna throw it away. 20:39.210 --> 20:40.190 I'll give it to charity. 20:40.330 --> 20:41.691 Give it to some homeless guy. 20:41.771 --> 20:42.092 Yeah. 20:42.552 --> 20:46.275 Well, I don't know, that might not be the right kind of message to send. 20:46.775 --> 20:49.477 Well, things aren't particularly easy for people like that. 20:49.557 --> 20:51.058 I know, that's the point. 20:51.779 --> 20:54.441 So listen, this year's been a big year for me, Adam. 20:54.661 --> 20:54.921 Yes! 20:55.121 --> 20:58.684 Because this is the year I've begun to be a professional cyclist. 20:59.304 --> 21:27.253 that's right as you know in about uh well in early summer i started cycling three and a half miles into work three and a half miles out yeah seven miles a day it's been very exciting but it's introduced me to various new dangers and terrors the terror of pedestrians right what's a good short word to describe a pedestrian peds peds yeah that's what we call them yeah is it peds yeah peds that worries me the way they just step out into the road without looking behind them yeah 21:27.913 --> 21:45.642 couriers they frighten me in vans couriers couriers delivery couriers yeah they're terrifying courier vans are terrifying and this year I've gotten angrier than ever before whilst driving right and I've started sort of shouting at cars oh really and tut tutting 21:46.002 --> 21:46.342 Yeah. 21:46.542 --> 21:51.285 Because I remember you talking before about the bad behavior of cyclists and how annoying you found it. 21:51.345 --> 21:53.086 Well, I switch a route all the way around. 21:53.746 --> 21:55.968 Do you get angry with other vehicles when you're on the road? 21:56.128 --> 21:57.088 No, I don't actually. 21:57.168 --> 21:57.909 I'm past all that. 21:57.949 --> 22:00.090 I've been cycling for nearly 20 years now. 22:00.130 --> 22:00.430 Really? 22:00.790 --> 22:07.134 And I think that the best thing to do is go safely, try not to annoy anybody. 22:07.194 --> 22:08.355 What if someone annoys you though? 22:09.176 --> 22:11.599 I don't generally get too crazy about it. 22:11.639 --> 22:19.770 The worst thing that ever happened to me on my bike that was a deliberate act of outrageousness from a passerby was some drunk guy one evening pushed me. 22:19.990 --> 22:22.273 Like he pushed me while I was at the lights. 22:22.673 --> 22:24.235 He wanted me to topple off the bike. 22:24.816 --> 22:29.581 And then one time some yobs leaned out of a car when I was in Edinburgh and they were driving past. 22:29.881 --> 22:32.704 And they pushed me, and they pushed me into the traffic. 22:33.204 --> 22:37.628 And I chased them for about three miles and took photographs of their number plate. 22:37.768 --> 22:39.170 Oh, I think I remember that story. 22:39.190 --> 22:39.610 Yeah, yeah. 22:40.071 --> 22:41.272 But that's the worst thing that's ever happened. 22:41.292 --> 22:46.236 Generally, you know, if you're careful and you keep yourself to yourself, things are okay. 22:46.297 --> 22:46.997 I say that now. 22:47.958 --> 22:54.862 What if someone drives past you on your bike and leaves a clearance of about two centimetres between your handlebar and the side of their car? 22:56.083 --> 22:57.464 Well... At high speed. 22:57.564 --> 22:58.384 At high speed? 22:58.504 --> 22:58.785 Yeah. 22:59.045 --> 23:00.145 You've got to get used to it, boy. 23:00.686 --> 23:01.146 Do you think? 23:01.186 --> 23:03.287 You've got to take it in your stride, yeah, because it happens a lot. 23:04.088 --> 23:05.689 What if you shout a swear word at them? 23:06.249 --> 23:07.630 Because they drive past. 23:07.850 --> 23:08.771 Yeah, that's standard practice. 23:08.791 --> 23:09.171 Quite loudly. 23:09.351 --> 23:10.972 What if their window is down and they hurt? 23:12.094 --> 23:12.815 What if they stop? 23:13.675 --> 23:15.856 What if they get out of the car and come at you? 23:16.516 --> 23:19.358 Now you'd think you'd be on the safer ground because you're on a bicycle. 23:19.778 --> 23:23.660 You don't have to just stick to the road, you can go on the pavement, you could take a shortcut down an alley. 23:23.800 --> 23:24.820 You could get away, couldn't you? 23:25.420 --> 23:26.201 Would you ever do that? 23:26.221 --> 23:30.883 Would you ever fantasise about a chase between an irate motorist and you on your bike? 23:31.443 --> 23:33.304 And whether it would end in a fight, who would win? 23:33.724 --> 23:34.705 Whether the bike would win? 23:34.965 --> 23:36.365 Bike versus car is what I'm saying. 23:37.066 --> 23:38.326 In a city-based showdown. 23:38.366 --> 23:39.167 This is what I'm proposing. 23:40.087 --> 23:47.669 In all major cities in Britain there's currently conflict between cycling and vehicles because government are trying to push you onto your bicycle but they're not rearranging the road so that it's safe. 23:48.590 --> 24:00.453 Sometimes when I cycle to work at particular junctions there are big groups of policemen hiding around the corner seriously at Kennington Cross waiting for cyclists to shoot the lights and then they pounce and find people. 24:00.653 --> 24:01.673 For goodness sake. 24:01.713 --> 24:07.115 It's ridiculous but those are the dangers that lie in store for a cyclist so I think this problem should be settled 24:07.595 --> 24:10.636 by a massive war between cyclists and car drivers. 24:10.656 --> 24:11.516 There already is one. 24:11.916 --> 24:14.397 Yeah, but it would be organised and have rules. 24:14.677 --> 24:25.181 You clear the whole centre of the city, all car drivers who dislike cyclists get in their cars, or cyclists who dislike car drivers get on their bikes, and it's a fight to the death. 24:25.481 --> 24:25.861 Oh, really? 24:26.001 --> 24:26.701 These are the rules. 24:26.921 --> 24:29.562 Bikes can go anywhere, and cars can go anywhere. 24:30.142 --> 24:34.664 On pavements, upstairs, wherever you can fit, or your engine is capable of going, you can go. 24:34.984 --> 24:35.384 Who would win? 24:36.604 --> 24:38.966 I think the car drivers would win. 24:39.006 --> 24:44.570 What if all the bicycles converged on the top of a multi-storey car park and blockaded the entrance? 24:45.710 --> 24:46.751 I think the bikes would win. 24:46.791 --> 24:47.131 Yeah. 24:47.351 --> 24:50.753 Because there are more places that cars can't get than bikes can't get. 24:50.874 --> 24:51.154 Sure. 24:51.614 --> 24:57.658 So I'm not suggesting we have these wars, but I think everyone should think about it and realize that bicycles would win. 24:58.438 --> 25:03.101 And, you know, car drivers should realize that they're actually on slightly shaky ground. 25:03.362 --> 25:03.762 Right. 25:03.862 --> 25:05.623 And be more subservient to bicycles. 25:05.723 --> 25:08.966 So did this happen to you, like some guy get out of his car and come at you? 25:08.986 --> 25:10.187 No, only in my head. 25:10.488 --> 25:11.649 It'll happen to you sooner or later? 25:11.689 --> 25:12.009 Will it? 25:12.049 --> 25:12.730 Has it happened to you? 25:12.750 --> 25:14.231 A guy get out of his car and come at you? 25:14.591 --> 25:17.534 Well, you know I went for the guy, personally. 25:17.614 --> 25:24.681 I tapped on his window, I made him wind it down, and in fact, he wouldn't wind it down, so I opened his door, the passenger door. 25:24.861 --> 25:27.764 I looked back at it as an act of, what about Folly? 25:28.044 --> 25:30.586 Bikes versus cars versus pedestrians. 25:30.886 --> 25:31.307 Who would win? 25:31.627 --> 25:34.348 What about bikes versus cars versus aliens? 25:34.909 --> 25:36.670 Well, that's unrealistic. 25:36.710 --> 25:37.570 Versus monsters. 25:37.830 --> 25:39.771 That's unrealistic, isn't it? 25:39.951 --> 25:40.592 But it's more fun. 25:40.652 --> 25:44.334 Whereas bikes versus cars versus pedestrians is realistic, it could happen. 25:44.674 --> 25:44.914 Yeah. 25:45.394 --> 25:46.535 Tomorrow, who would win? 25:47.735 --> 26:03.201 aliens aliens let's have some more music and then let's have another present yeah okay you're gonna give me one after this you gave a present I mean stop it will you here's Regina specter Regina is it this is eat what a spectacular Regina 26:04.601 --> 26:07.022 There you go, Roxy Music with Love is the Drug. 26:07.042 --> 26:11.783 This is Adam and Joe here on a Boxing Day morning on BBC Six Music. 26:11.863 --> 26:13.424 Wonderful to have you along, listeners. 26:14.064 --> 26:18.765 And your present-giving ceremonies may have concluded, but ours have only just begun. 26:19.125 --> 26:24.467 Sometimes you get presents on Boxing Day because Auntie Nubbin's and Uncle Fiddle's come around. 26:25.567 --> 26:28.571 Aunty Nubbins is welcome, but Uncle Fiddles has been banned from ours. 26:28.591 --> 26:29.832 Well, he's just out, isn't he? 26:30.393 --> 26:33.216 He's just come out, so you've got to ease him back into society. 26:33.236 --> 26:33.937 Come out of the closet? 26:34.297 --> 26:34.938 No, prison. 26:35.078 --> 26:35.538 Oh, okay. 26:35.879 --> 26:37.220 Because he fiddled his taxes! 26:37.420 --> 26:38.462 Come out of the prison closet. 26:39.723 --> 26:42.206 Our family come and join us in the countryside. 26:42.686 --> 26:43.587 after Christmas, right? 26:43.607 --> 26:44.948 Because we do Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. 26:44.988 --> 26:46.329 So you send your kids away for Christmas? 26:46.369 --> 26:46.749 In-laws. 26:46.949 --> 26:48.130 No, no, no. 26:48.150 --> 26:50.352 Like my family, mum and dad family. 26:50.372 --> 26:51.172 Extended family. 26:51.192 --> 26:51.353 Yeah. 26:51.393 --> 26:51.653 Yeah. 26:52.413 --> 26:58.258 So we have Christmas with my in-laws and then the Buxton family descend a few days after Christmas. 26:58.298 --> 27:01.100 So actually we're going to be having our present giving ceremony. 27:01.800 --> 27:03.742 I've brought myself to sleep. 27:04.363 --> 27:13.216 Myself to sleep Listen I was gonna give you a present but I'm not anymore cuz you're the most Boring man in the world 27:15.313 --> 27:15.773 And then wave. 27:15.893 --> 27:16.494 And then wave. 27:17.334 --> 27:18.455 Listen, no, I've changed my mind. 27:18.495 --> 27:19.315 You're a great guy. 27:19.395 --> 27:20.716 And here's the prezzie. 27:20.996 --> 27:21.316 Okay. 27:21.536 --> 27:21.936 Here it is. 27:22.056 --> 27:25.298 Adam and I are giving each other prezzies because it's a special Christmas time. 27:25.438 --> 27:28.679 You've gone for the newspaper wrapping. 27:28.739 --> 27:29.680 Yeah, I've gone for the mirror. 27:29.740 --> 27:30.860 It's your favorite tabloid. 27:30.881 --> 27:31.141 Love it. 27:31.461 --> 27:32.962 Slightly left-leaning tabloid. 27:32.982 --> 27:33.982 Sport pages. 27:34.182 --> 27:35.363 Yeah, the sport. 27:35.503 --> 27:36.583 Sport your favorite thing. 27:36.623 --> 27:37.984 My favorite page, mate. 27:38.224 --> 27:39.164 Now, can you guess what it is? 27:39.204 --> 27:39.765 You'll just go... 27:40.265 --> 27:42.086 Buckles is just going straight for the unwrapping. 27:42.126 --> 27:45.349 He's not doing any of the fun accompanying activities. 27:45.369 --> 27:46.290 What do you think it is? 27:46.310 --> 27:46.910 It's inside. 27:46.950 --> 27:49.172 Describe the shape and the size to the listeners. 27:49.192 --> 27:53.215 Ladies and gentlemen, we're looking at just under A4 size here. 27:53.616 --> 27:54.616 A5, probably. 27:54.677 --> 28:01.022 A5, and it feels like some kind of pamphlet or slim book. 28:01.922 --> 28:03.223 Matt Stroke magazine. 28:03.243 --> 28:07.467 Are you already thinking it's a bit rubbish because of its lack of weight and heft? 28:07.987 --> 28:08.948 Not necessarily. 28:09.168 --> 28:11.329 It might be a sticker book, in which case I could be made up. 28:11.349 --> 28:13.150 What's the best thing you could be? 28:13.290 --> 28:15.551 It could be the Hannah Montana sticker book. 28:15.751 --> 28:16.092 Really? 28:16.152 --> 28:16.692 Yeah. 28:16.752 --> 28:17.933 Is that a panini book? 28:18.773 --> 28:20.914 They're the kings of these sticker books, aren't they, panini? 28:20.934 --> 28:22.175 They used to be when I was young. 28:22.295 --> 28:22.995 Of the sticker kings. 28:24.557 --> 28:29.203 Okay, I'm gonna pull out the book now from the sports page and it is 28:40.956 --> 28:41.697 It's a comic. 28:43.697 --> 28:55.560 It's a comic called Female Force and on the front is Oprah Winfrey and the comic is called Oprah Winfrey and it's a comic book biography of Oprah Winfrey. 28:55.600 --> 28:56.320 Is it really? 28:56.361 --> 29:01.642 And it's designed to motivate women to achieve things that she's achieved. 29:01.842 --> 29:03.502 No, it's not, it's not ironical. 29:03.742 --> 29:05.483 Well it's female force, of course it's not ironical. 29:05.743 --> 29:24.839 female force yeah it's inspiring it's it's her life story beautifully illustrated in comic book form well um i bought it in america opera has been rendered in comic form on the front of uh the the book and she looks a little bit like her beyonce there you know she doesn't look 29:25.419 --> 29:28.361 Exactly as Oprah does in real life, wouldn't you say? 29:28.641 --> 29:31.463 I think they've captured her oprosity pretty, pretty clearly. 29:31.823 --> 29:34.805 And it's a starring book and I don't think you should take the mickey out of it. 29:34.845 --> 29:36.245 I think you should try and learn from it. 29:36.446 --> 29:37.006 Sure I will. 29:37.086 --> 29:37.706 Page one. 29:38.027 --> 29:39.047 First panel. 29:39.788 --> 29:40.488 Easter Sunday 1957. 29:42.229 --> 29:44.670 Two ladies in church with fancy hats. 29:45.011 --> 29:48.273 One of them says, she sure is someone special. 29:48.993 --> 29:52.674 The other lady says, Hatime, that child is gifted. 29:53.235 --> 29:57.396 And then in the background is a little girl with pigtails. 29:57.856 --> 30:00.377 And her cheeky face is that of the young Orpa. 30:01.037 --> 30:04.158 And she says, Jesus rose on Easter day. 30:04.759 --> 30:08.580 Hallelu, hallelu, all the angels did proclaim. 30:09.340 --> 30:13.302 And then someone says, out of the panel, we can't see who is saying it. 30:14.102 --> 30:41.961 three-year-old and she's already reading right in two girl she was gifted from the very beginning from the very beginning even when she was a tiny child attending church it was clear she was gifted and going to go on to great things and it's quite a topical gift because of course Oprah's recently announced that she's stopping her program in after two years which will be the end of a historical era in American broadcasting wow it's the most powerful richest woman in the world and then there are is she the richest most powerful woman in the world 30:42.521 --> 30:42.781 No. 30:42.881 --> 30:44.823 She is, yeah, yeah, she's one of them. 30:44.843 --> 30:45.203 She is. 30:47.785 --> 30:48.665 Yeah, she is. 30:48.825 --> 30:49.926 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 30:50.026 --> 30:52.148 That's the way to answer the question of Boxing Day. 30:52.168 --> 30:55.250 And then they've got illustrated panels like these. 30:55.430 --> 31:00.673 They've illustrated in cartoon form classic moments from Orpa's life, right? 31:00.773 --> 31:11.781 There's one picture here of the transgender lady who was pregnant, even though she had turned herself into a man. 31:12.561 --> 31:13.882 She's got a little scraggly beard. 31:14.202 --> 31:18.123 There's a picture of Orpa admiring a plus-sized woman. 31:18.423 --> 31:19.703 Great moments from her show. 31:19.784 --> 31:22.024 Revealing her beautiful body. 31:22.204 --> 31:29.707 Do you think if we made one of these easy-style buttons with boggins noises on it, do you think that would be the most irritating executive toy ever designed? 31:29.767 --> 31:32.568 Yeah, that would be like... Do you remember the annoying thing, the frog? 31:32.588 --> 31:33.208 What was it called? 31:33.388 --> 31:33.968 The crazy frog. 31:34.008 --> 31:34.789 Yeah, crazy frog. 31:34.809 --> 31:35.729 It would be like that, wouldn't it? 31:36.309 --> 31:37.970 Joe, I can't tell you how pleased I am. 31:37.990 --> 31:38.691 It's pretty good, isn't it? 31:38.711 --> 31:40.992 With the Oprah Winfrey story in comic book form. 31:41.092 --> 31:47.376 And forthcoming in the same series, Female Force, is a comic book biography of Stephanie Mayer, the author of the Twilight novels. 31:48.116 --> 31:53.880 So no powerful woman can avoid the comic book treatment. 31:53.900 --> 31:55.181 That was a tortured sentence. 31:55.201 --> 31:57.942 Presumably they're going to do one on Fern Cotton at some stage. 31:58.083 --> 31:59.844 Well, I would imagine they started with that. 32:00.984 --> 32:01.825 That's what inspired it. 32:01.865 --> 32:02.645 That's a nice drawing, isn't it? 32:03.046 --> 32:04.887 Very high quality artwork. 32:05.827 --> 32:06.967 in the Female Force comics. 32:07.447 --> 32:09.788 I think that'll teach you some valuable things there, Adam. 32:09.968 --> 32:10.988 Yeah, thanks a lot, man. 32:11.048 --> 32:14.469 I'm already feeling a little bit inspired and a little bit turned on. 32:15.469 --> 32:17.169 Maybe you should take over from Oprah. 32:17.209 --> 32:18.829 Have your own daytime talk show. 32:19.009 --> 32:25.330 Now, this is a very inappropriate choice of song to play after what we've just been talking about, one of the most inspiring women in the world. 32:25.610 --> 32:27.631 This is Garbage with Stupid Girl. 32:27.831 --> 32:31.671 This is the voice of the big British castle. 32:31.711 --> 32:34.592 You are listening to Adam and Jo on 6 Music. 32:41.826 --> 32:45.090 If Santa was really chocolate, how long do you think he'd survive? 32:46.132 --> 32:50.618 He'd be fine because he's generally in cold conditions that would deserve his money. 32:51.739 --> 32:53.081 What if he's coming down a chimney? 32:53.201 --> 32:54.182 What if he's coming down a chimney? 32:54.202 --> 32:55.564 Think of your crinkle basics. 32:56.385 --> 32:58.428 Your fundamental festive basics. 32:58.468 --> 32:59.350 Your building blocks. 32:59.370 --> 33:00.211 Your funny dementals. 33:00.892 --> 33:02.595 He's gonna melt, isn't he, when he gets to the bottom? 33:02.615 --> 33:04.397 He's gonna melt if someone hasn't put the fire. 33:04.418 --> 33:06.941 Well, how does he deal with that situation anyway when he's coming down the gym? 33:06.981 --> 33:08.143 He's got fireproof panties. 33:08.183 --> 33:08.604 Does he? 33:08.624 --> 33:09.145 Of course. 33:09.165 --> 33:11.689 Well, why wouldn't they protect the chocolate? 33:13.311 --> 33:13.751 They would. 33:14.092 --> 33:15.973 Speaking of which, do you want a matchmaker? 33:16.093 --> 33:17.134 I love a matchmaker. 33:17.174 --> 33:22.858 Matchmakers, if you are living in a foreign country that doesn't have matchmakers, they're like matches, but made of chalky. 33:23.298 --> 33:27.301 And they have sort of crystalline bits of sweetie goodness, either orange flavoured or minty flavoured. 33:27.582 --> 33:28.442 This is cool mint. 33:29.443 --> 33:36.108 And the trick with matchmakers is to take six or seven at once in a bunch, like a bunch of twigs, and just eat them all at once. 33:37.441 --> 33:38.242 Wow, you really did that. 33:42.186 --> 33:44.168 This is a matchmakers in heaven. 33:44.268 --> 33:44.869 Yeah. 33:45.489 --> 33:47.211 What kind of, are you getting a stocking? 33:47.471 --> 33:48.572 Did you get a stocking yesterday? 33:48.592 --> 33:49.573 I don't know. 33:50.634 --> 33:51.155 You can't remember. 33:51.295 --> 33:52.056 It's not a tradition though. 33:52.436 --> 33:54.418 No, stockings aren't a tradition in our house. 33:54.478 --> 33:55.940 My wife loves stockings. 33:56.520 --> 33:58.801 I think we have a very different Christmas in our house to yours. 33:58.841 --> 34:04.442 We have a very minimal, kind of, you know, stripped-down, non-material Christmas. 34:04.482 --> 34:06.843 I'm not... Sounds as if I'm pooping your Christmas. 34:06.903 --> 34:09.704 It sounds as if you're stripping down, but I know that you're worshipping Satan. 34:09.824 --> 34:10.124 Yeah. 34:10.404 --> 34:10.704 Yeah. 34:10.804 --> 34:12.404 So you're stripping down and worshipping Satan. 34:12.665 --> 34:15.825 I mean, that's partly different from... It's not so different from our Christmas. 34:15.845 --> 34:17.426 Would you spend Christmas in the nude? 34:17.706 --> 34:17.866 Yeah. 34:18.516 --> 34:20.621 Do you think, I mean, it's a time when you're only around family. 34:20.681 --> 34:21.242 It's a fun thing. 34:21.262 --> 34:22.525 There's nothing no one's seen before. 34:22.826 --> 34:22.926 What? 34:22.946 --> 34:25.571 There's nothing anybody hasn't seen before. 34:25.592 --> 34:26.093 That's right. 34:26.393 --> 34:27.776 Hey, the fires died down. 34:27.796 --> 34:28.077 Sort of. 34:30.410 --> 34:32.630 Just a little bit of blowing on the embers down there. 34:33.531 --> 34:34.611 There we go, look at that. 34:35.071 --> 34:36.591 That's not the fire you're blowing on, mate. 34:37.691 --> 34:37.872 Oh. 34:38.352 --> 34:39.612 That's my face. 34:39.672 --> 34:41.992 Well, something else is called fire. 34:43.213 --> 34:43.893 The feelings. 34:44.113 --> 34:45.453 Hey, listen, how do you feel? 34:45.553 --> 34:47.574 How's that rosé, sparkling rosé going down? 34:47.594 --> 34:48.414 It's really delicious. 34:48.434 --> 34:49.694 It's better than the other stuff, though, isn't it? 34:49.714 --> 34:53.695 Yeah, I've got a very low alcohol tolerance level, and frankly, I'm on planet booze. 34:55.362 --> 35:03.627 You know, when I was coming here to the studio on the train today, there were some women on the train with tins of lager. 35:04.567 --> 35:07.929 And I love a woman with a tin of lager. 35:08.370 --> 35:13.072 Because, you know, everyone loves groups of men drinking tins of lager, right? 35:13.112 --> 35:14.093 That's a great thing to see. 35:14.113 --> 35:14.673 It's a fun atmosphere. 35:15.874 --> 35:33.347 you always know you're gonna get some quality conversation yeah fun times especially on a train like you know they've they've each got about four or five tens of lined up for the journey and it makes me think hey I wish I'm gonna have a good time hence everyone around them will have a good time exactly sometimes what I do is infectious 35:33.667 --> 35:43.710 If there's, uh, four guys sat around a table there, what I'll ask them to do is maybe one of them, hey, could you, would you mind moving over a seat just so I could sit with the rest of the guys there? 35:43.830 --> 35:44.090 Yeah. 35:44.390 --> 35:47.490 So I'm, hey, is there any way that I could have one of those tins? 35:47.510 --> 35:49.571 Cause I would like to join in with the group. 35:50.411 --> 35:52.172 And I've had many good times that way. 35:52.592 --> 36:01.774 But if there's one thing I love more than that scenario, it's to see a group of quite rough looking women drinking some tins of lager on the train. 36:02.134 --> 36:05.197 Because that, to me, is the height of womanosity. 36:05.217 --> 36:07.860 We were talking about Oprah earlier on. 36:07.880 --> 36:11.783 You got me a lovely Oprah comic to inspire people everywhere. 36:12.804 --> 36:16.868 But it's an inspiring sight to see a woman really drunk. 36:17.009 --> 36:17.509 Don't you find? 36:17.849 --> 36:21.113 Well, I think it would be unfair to make that distinction gender-based. 36:21.133 --> 36:21.593 Right. 36:21.773 --> 36:23.034 You know, why shouldn't a woman be 36:23.775 --> 36:24.835 Drunk as drunk as a man. 36:24.855 --> 36:25.996 This is what I'm saying. 36:26.036 --> 36:30.057 No, I'm so glad that it's one of the things that women have finally sorted out. 36:30.157 --> 36:35.620 Hey, you know, men get to carouse in large groups and behave badly and drink lager out of tents. 36:35.640 --> 36:37.020 Have you not seen it be so uncovered, though? 36:37.360 --> 36:38.681 This has been going on for years. 36:38.921 --> 36:39.181 Yeah. 36:39.561 --> 36:43.282 Women have really seized the baton when it comes to getting very drunk. 36:43.302 --> 36:43.463 Sure. 36:43.603 --> 36:44.423 That's what I'm saying. 36:44.643 --> 36:45.923 I think that's true historically, though. 36:46.004 --> 36:46.284 Is it? 36:46.524 --> 36:46.744 Yeah. 36:47.424 --> 36:48.905 Women love a drink, so do men. 36:48.925 --> 36:51.387 I don't think there's a useful gender distinction to be made. 36:51.427 --> 36:53.789 In fact, I think it could come across as sexist and reductive. 36:54.089 --> 36:54.770 That's what I'm hoping. 36:54.970 --> 36:56.551 And that's not very Christmasy. 36:56.571 --> 36:57.972 Santa hates those things. 36:58.052 --> 36:59.573 I was thinking sexy and reductive. 37:00.034 --> 37:01.014 Ah, that's very different. 37:01.695 --> 37:03.176 That's a spinal tap joke, though, isn't it? 37:03.196 --> 37:07.179 That's forever associated with spinal tap to say something is sexy rather than sexist. 37:07.219 --> 37:08.380 What's wrong with being sexy? 37:08.480 --> 37:09.621 What's wrong with being sexy? 37:10.228 --> 37:12.150 Okay, listen, let's have some more music right now. 37:12.490 --> 37:15.113 This is Jamie T. with The Man's Machine. 37:15.273 --> 37:17.936 Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music on Boxing Day. 37:17.976 --> 37:22.040 This is a pre-recorded show, so please, no texts or emails. 37:22.080 --> 37:24.162 It'll be a total waste of your time. 37:24.202 --> 37:28.747 Be wrong for a DJ to eat during his co-presenters' link on any other day apart. 37:28.967 --> 37:29.728 Unboxing Day. 37:30.048 --> 37:31.750 Man, you've gone for the Yule Log there. 37:31.770 --> 37:32.751 Why is a Yule Log? 37:33.493 --> 37:34.794 What is a real yule log? 37:35.194 --> 37:36.255 What is a real yule log? 37:36.315 --> 37:40.457 A real yule log is you've got a log, a wooden log. 37:40.857 --> 37:41.818 That much I've deduced. 37:41.938 --> 37:45.580 And you have decorated it in a Christmas style. 37:45.680 --> 37:46.441 Why would you do that? 37:46.741 --> 37:47.782 Because it's Christmas! 37:48.142 --> 37:49.183 Decorating logs? 37:49.223 --> 37:52.725 Yeah, yeah, you decorate the log and you put it in the hearth there. 37:52.765 --> 37:54.546 Oh, and then do you light it on Christmas Day? 37:54.566 --> 37:55.266 Sure you do. 37:55.306 --> 37:57.788 You set a fire to the things you've decorated it with? 37:57.968 --> 37:59.809 Yeah, you remove any of the plastic decorations. 37:59.829 --> 38:01.190 Sounds like a load of BS to me. 38:01.650 --> 38:04.692 Well, you just carry on eating your chocolate log and don't worry about it. 38:04.712 --> 38:05.613 Alright? 38:05.653 --> 38:07.874 Just carry on worshiping Satan in the nude. 38:07.934 --> 38:10.736 Don't worship Satan, but I do spend Christmas nude. 38:12.237 --> 38:13.998 Anyway, there's nothing evil about being nude. 38:14.038 --> 38:16.720 No, I didn't say there was- There might be something evil about you being nude. 38:17.000 --> 38:19.943 Well listen, you're giving me a hard time for everything I'm saying. 38:20.263 --> 38:24.467 I tried to do a sort of ironical, cock-eyed look at women drinking lager on trains. 38:24.967 --> 38:28.030 That gets thrown out as being sexist and reductive. 38:28.650 --> 38:34.015 Now I'm being poo-pooed for not being nude on Christmas Day and worshiping Satan. 38:34.395 --> 38:35.637 Just unwrap your present! 38:35.657 --> 38:37.618 I don't worship Satan. 38:37.999 --> 38:38.960 I just admire him. 38:40.080 --> 38:40.401 I don't. 38:40.481 --> 38:40.881 I don't. 38:41.121 --> 38:41.921 He's terrible. 38:41.981 --> 38:42.442 He's awful. 38:43.202 --> 38:44.063 Well, thank you very much. 38:45.603 --> 38:48.325 There's a lovely gift that Adam's just given me. 38:48.545 --> 38:50.306 I don't think he exists, you know. 38:50.446 --> 38:51.767 Well, he's an idea, isn't he? 38:51.887 --> 38:52.547 He's an idea. 38:52.567 --> 38:53.488 You don't want to go with him. 38:53.508 --> 38:54.108 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 38:54.228 --> 38:55.869 Listen, this is a wonderful present. 38:56.089 --> 38:58.891 And I should describe it for the listeners. 38:58.931 --> 39:00.031 It's definitely a book. 39:00.432 --> 39:01.852 I can 100% say that it's a book. 39:02.673 --> 39:04.114 I haven't wrapped it yet. 39:04.154 --> 39:05.915 I'm trying to describe it through the wrapping. 39:05.935 --> 39:06.755 Yeah, it's definitely a book. 39:06.795 --> 39:07.756 It's a hardback book. 39:08.576 --> 39:13.477 And it's quite thick, so it's probably maybe something by Alain de Buton. 39:14.157 --> 39:15.118 Similar, very similar. 39:15.138 --> 39:16.918 Perhaps, maybe it's something by Malcolm Gladwell. 39:16.938 --> 39:18.738 You like his nonsense publications. 39:18.818 --> 39:19.919 Come on, he's brilliant. 39:20.259 --> 39:21.279 Yeah, pop psychology. 39:21.979 --> 39:22.579 I'm going to open it. 39:22.599 --> 39:23.660 This is what I like to do, listeners. 39:23.680 --> 39:26.180 I like to open the present with my eyes closed, right? 39:26.200 --> 39:28.101 I don't know why I find this so satisfying. 39:28.701 --> 39:31.822 And I like to hold it up in front of my face, but my eyes are still closed. 39:32.162 --> 39:33.362 Have you got no idea at all what it is? 39:33.382 --> 39:36.123 I've got no idea what it is, but I'm actually rubbing it against my face. 39:36.143 --> 39:36.723 How does it smell? 39:37.943 --> 39:40.866 Smells like a rubbish autobiography. 39:41.146 --> 39:43.067 Well, from one of those shops. 39:43.147 --> 39:44.268 Half right. 39:44.428 --> 39:44.989 Half right. 39:45.089 --> 39:46.770 It is by no means rubbish. 39:47.331 --> 39:49.192 It should smell of success because it is. 39:49.212 --> 39:51.354 It's Ant and Dex biography. 39:51.634 --> 39:52.535 Ooh, what a lovely pair. 39:52.555 --> 39:54.656 We were talking about this only a few weeks ago. 39:54.676 --> 39:55.077 Right. 39:55.874 --> 39:58.956 And this is a book that the public have been waiting for for years. 39:58.976 --> 40:06.580 They've been clamouring for Ant & Dec to set down their story on historical record, in historical record. 40:06.921 --> 40:09.302 Looking at the spine, it has two segments of photos. 40:09.882 --> 40:12.164 Looking at those photos, they are full colour. 40:12.524 --> 40:12.824 Brilliant. 40:13.284 --> 40:14.145 I love photos. 40:14.285 --> 40:15.145 Inscription in the front. 40:16.186 --> 40:18.908 There is an inscription in the front from Adam Buxton. 40:19.668 --> 40:32.497 Dijo I have been and always will be the PJ to your Duncan love Adam a kiss Christmas 2009 that looks a bit like a four That's good stuff. 40:32.717 --> 40:36.559 That's very kind of you and was this full price or has it come down in price? 40:36.599 --> 40:46.206 That was reduced by seven pounds was it reduced was it from a shop which might perhaps Stock returns or was it a shop that has newly well, I'm just wondering give us it 40:47.485 --> 40:48.205 This is a great book. 40:48.846 --> 40:56.669 I haven't actually read it myself, but I leaved through it and I've read a couple of reviews and I can tell you that you are going to enjoy reading this and you better read it properly as well. 40:57.149 --> 41:00.070 Don't just sort of flick over it in some kind of sarcastic way. 41:00.090 --> 41:02.451 Are you allowed to issue threats with Christmas presents? 41:02.511 --> 41:03.292 Yeah, boy, definitely. 41:03.312 --> 41:04.372 Is that in the spirit of Christmas? 41:04.812 --> 41:05.653 Here we go. 41:06.253 --> 41:08.374 There's a little good sample passage to read. 41:08.694 --> 41:10.555 And you know the reason I bought you this book? 41:11.155 --> 41:13.416 Joe is to remind you what we could have been. 41:15.737 --> 41:15.977 Right? 41:16.558 --> 41:17.978 If we had played our cards right. 41:18.578 --> 41:20.579 This could have been Adam and Joe. 41:20.599 --> 41:22.100 Ooh, what a lovely pair. 41:22.640 --> 41:25.341 This is the paragraph you want me to pay attention to, the emboldened one. 41:25.462 --> 41:27.382 Yeah, it's something that you and I have gone through ourselves. 41:28.063 --> 41:30.364 It marked our first exposure as Ant and Dec. 41:31.044 --> 41:33.985 We went for Ant and Dec in that order, because it was PJ and Duncan. 41:34.305 --> 41:36.326 PJ was Ant, and well you get the rest. 41:36.826 --> 41:40.808 I've been asked about this, but I never argued for it to be Dec and Ant. 41:41.268 --> 41:42.829 I never even really thought about it. 41:43.169 --> 41:44.529 It's not really a big deal. 41:44.870 --> 41:47.090 Honestly, I'm fine with it, I really am! 41:47.791 --> 41:54.453 It's not like I still lie awake at night thinking about it, or it secretly bothered me for years or anything like that. 41:55.174 --> 41:56.554 Is that supposed to be ironic? 41:56.714 --> 41:58.175 I can't tell if he's joking or not. 41:58.835 --> 42:14.498 like has it ever bothered you that you that it's Adam and Joe it might have bothered me a little bit for the first couple of years of our relationship really only only like every little thing it was only that because it's scan the Adam of course I know I know I know but you know it's just one of those if I'm feeling 42:15.279 --> 42:22.202 back in 15 years ago whenever it was, if I was feeling disenfranchised in some way, it would be grist to my mental mill. 42:22.282 --> 42:23.523 Do you know what I mean? 42:23.543 --> 42:25.704 Well, it's weird because people do read stuff into it. 42:25.864 --> 42:30.766 We get the occasional email from someone saying, dear Joe and Adam, there, I flipped the order. 42:31.186 --> 42:33.848 It never crossed my mind that it meant anything. 42:33.888 --> 42:35.228 It's not like a billing thing. 42:35.768 --> 42:37.089 No, it's hand-willed, isn't it? 42:37.129 --> 42:37.829 Yeah, exactly. 42:38.210 --> 42:40.911 But obviously, it's a really serious problem for Ant or Dec. 42:42.592 --> 42:43.172 Anyway, there you go. 42:43.192 --> 42:44.553 I hope you read the whole book properly. 42:44.613 --> 42:46.355 That's a terrific, terrific present. 42:46.815 --> 42:47.736 I paid a lot of money for that. 42:47.776 --> 42:48.777 Did you know that's really time? 42:48.797 --> 42:50.358 That's your most ex-present. 42:50.698 --> 42:52.039 I can't even speak anymore. 42:52.079 --> 42:53.160 Let's play some more music. 42:53.480 --> 42:54.381 This is a free play. 42:54.581 --> 42:55.722 One of my favourite tracks. 42:55.842 --> 42:59.144 It's the theme tune to Biker Grove. 42:59.465 --> 43:00.445 Unfortunately, it's not. 43:00.746 --> 43:02.487 But it is one of my favourite tracks from the year. 43:02.527 --> 43:04.308 This is from the Ye Ye Yes album. 43:04.649 --> 43:05.229 It's Blitz. 43:05.589 --> 43:06.430 And this is Hysteric. 43:06.590 --> 43:09.555 That was Sandy Toxvig there with Son of a Preacher Man. 43:10.296 --> 43:10.977 I don't think it was. 43:11.578 --> 43:12.259 Sandy Toxvig. 43:12.580 --> 43:15.064 It was Dusty Springfield and Sandy Toxvig. 43:15.585 --> 43:17.989 And this is Adam and Jo here on BBC 6 Music. 43:18.429 --> 43:19.431 It's time for the news. 43:21.676 --> 43:25.257 Nice little bit of Booker T and EMGs bubbling away in the background. 43:25.277 --> 43:26.937 And we've got a fire here. 43:26.957 --> 43:27.898 This is Adam and Joe. 43:27.998 --> 43:31.919 We're in our special Christmas hut for this special Boxing Day show. 43:32.819 --> 43:35.260 And it's lovely and warm inside. 43:35.600 --> 43:36.960 It's cold outside. 43:37.160 --> 43:44.502 We're pre-recording this in our hut incidentally, so please don't email or text us because unfortunately we won't be able to read your messages. 43:45.022 --> 43:48.403 But we still value your company and we're very grateful that you're listening. 43:48.783 --> 43:50.484 We've been exchanging gifts as well. 43:51.064 --> 43:56.611 Joe has given me a wonderful comic about the life of Oprah Winfrey, a female force comic. 43:56.671 --> 43:57.612 It's very inspiring. 43:57.852 --> 44:03.559 Adam has given me a novelty desktop sort of executive toy, which is a big red button marked easy. 44:03.839 --> 44:05.821 When you press it, someone says that was easy. 44:06.743 --> 44:07.423 I can't press it. 44:07.443 --> 44:08.445 Please press it. 44:08.565 --> 44:11.128 Anyone who's listened since the beginning of the show will be annoyed with it. 44:11.704 --> 44:13.866 But what about people who've just... That was easy. 44:13.986 --> 44:14.546 Yes. 44:14.586 --> 44:15.046 There we go. 44:15.066 --> 44:18.009 People who've just tuned in, it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 44:18.029 --> 44:18.469 What was that? 44:18.489 --> 44:19.410 What was that? 44:19.450 --> 44:20.510 This is a good show. 44:20.630 --> 44:32.639 He's also given me Ant and Dec's autobiography, Ooh, What a Lovely Pair, which refers to them as a pair, a pair of performers, Ant and Dec, and also either their testicles or maybe a woman's breasts. 44:32.859 --> 44:35.621 I don't think it refers to testicles very often, does it? 44:35.761 --> 44:37.662 Well, a pair, it could be. 44:37.682 --> 44:39.684 He says, ooh, what a lovely pair about someone. 44:40.024 --> 44:45.108 Well, because they're men, it wouldn't necessarily refer to breasts, because they don't have breasts. 44:45.128 --> 44:47.350 No one talks about people's protums in that way. 44:47.370 --> 44:50.193 I'm just making it accessible for women as well. 44:50.373 --> 44:51.734 Well, have you not seen New Moon? 44:52.254 --> 44:53.075 Yeah, no I haven't. 44:53.275 --> 44:55.457 Well, there's a new sexism going on. 44:55.757 --> 44:56.057 Is there? 44:56.218 --> 44:59.000 A new level of objectification of men. 44:59.380 --> 45:00.181 Oh, of men. 45:00.261 --> 45:11.832 Yeah, and in the film New Moon, the characters, the male characters reveal their chests in a similar way to a woman would have revealed her chest, maybe in the 40s or 50s. 45:11.852 --> 45:14.134 A similar way to a woman would have revealed her chest. 45:15.595 --> 45:16.836 Yeah, a wooden woman. 45:17.016 --> 45:18.037 Would you like some more champagne? 45:18.057 --> 45:18.637 Carved from wood. 45:18.657 --> 45:20.198 I think I've had two, anyway. 45:20.779 --> 45:22.120 Do you get my point, though? 45:22.220 --> 45:23.460 Yes, I do. 45:23.480 --> 45:26.983 What do the women in the film swoon when they see the man nipples and stuff? 45:27.023 --> 45:28.744 Well, the women in the audience certainly swoon. 45:28.764 --> 45:29.244 Do they? 45:29.284 --> 45:31.926 Yeah, they gasp and cheer like they are to take that concert. 45:31.946 --> 45:33.667 Because they're so chiseled, all the pectorals. 45:33.828 --> 45:36.169 They're different types of male breasts. 45:36.269 --> 45:41.893 Robert Pattison, who plays the male vampire, has flat pale McMahon breasts. 45:41.973 --> 45:42.694 Taylor Lautner, 45:43.354 --> 45:50.662 who was the boy in shock, boy in lava girl, has now grown into a young man and he has gym ones. 45:51.183 --> 45:51.843 He's got what? 45:52.003 --> 45:52.444 Gym ones. 45:52.484 --> 45:53.405 He's been at the gym. 45:53.465 --> 45:54.867 He's got big kind of pecs. 45:54.887 --> 45:55.047 Oh, I see. 45:55.067 --> 45:55.227 Gym ones. 45:55.247 --> 45:55.868 Right, right, right, right. 45:55.888 --> 45:56.088 Yeah. 45:56.608 --> 45:56.849 Yeah. 45:57.449 --> 46:00.713 Not like, um, Jimmy Nail ones. 46:01.193 --> 46:02.593 No, that's for the third film. 46:02.713 --> 46:03.994 That's the kind of ones I've got. 46:04.074 --> 46:09.895 That's for the... You might be, you might be... Well, Taylor... Are there any that are just like mine, though? 46:09.995 --> 46:21.517 Well, I'm thinking that Robert Pattinson is a vampire and Taylor Lautner is a werewolf, so werewolves when their men have sort of gym chests, vampires when their men have flat chests. 46:22.077 --> 46:25.738 You've got a Jimmy Nail chest, so what creature would you morph into? 46:26.898 --> 46:27.318 Boggins. 46:29.560 --> 46:31.322 Does he exist in the Twilight Saga? 46:31.742 --> 46:33.423 He exists in every fictional universe. 46:34.044 --> 46:36.766 Now listen, are we going to give more gifts or shall we play a bit more music first? 46:36.786 --> 46:37.806 I wish to have a bit more music. 46:38.027 --> 46:38.867 Yeah, here's Doves. 46:38.967 --> 46:40.088 They've done so well this year. 46:40.128 --> 46:41.589 Let's have a little round of applause for Doves. 46:41.790 --> 46:42.290 Doves. 46:42.690 --> 46:43.131 Well done. 46:43.371 --> 46:43.931 Doves. 46:44.271 --> 46:46.233 Hope you enjoyed yourselves this year, chaps. 46:46.453 --> 46:47.434 Because it's not going to last! 46:48.914 --> 46:49.515 I'm joking. 46:49.555 --> 46:50.456 I'm just joking. 46:50.797 --> 46:51.618 You've got a couple more years. 46:51.978 --> 46:54.141 I seriously plan for in a couple of years. 46:54.402 --> 46:54.762 Yeah. 46:54.782 --> 46:55.844 Have you got something to fall back on? 46:56.685 --> 46:58.247 I think they know. 46:58.267 --> 46:59.629 Have you got something to fall back on? 46:59.749 --> 47:00.911 Because this won't last much longer. 47:01.211 --> 47:01.952 Well, I know that. 47:02.292 --> 47:03.434 Have you got something to fall back on? 47:03.674 --> 47:04.195 Sure, I do. 47:04.255 --> 47:04.495 Yeah. 47:04.515 --> 47:05.377 Study hard at school. 47:05.877 --> 47:07.178 Are you a trained doctor or anything? 47:07.198 --> 47:09.499 No, but I've got some crafts stuff that I can do. 47:09.739 --> 47:11.160 So have a little stall at a local? 47:11.240 --> 47:12.941 Yeah, I can make craft fair. 47:13.261 --> 47:14.582 Like dolphins out of matchsticks. 47:14.702 --> 47:17.524 That's good, and you're very good at putting coloured gems around mirrors. 47:17.904 --> 47:18.584 Thanks very much. 47:19.065 --> 47:20.385 Here's Doves with House of Mirrors. 47:20.605 --> 47:23.467 That was Doves with House of Mirrors. 47:23.887 --> 47:24.548 Did you like it? 47:25.268 --> 47:25.989 I liked it. 47:26.149 --> 47:28.992 It's a nice Mamma Mia, that's a nice song. 47:29.012 --> 47:31.295 Hello, I'm Gino di Campo. 47:31.355 --> 47:32.296 What do you like? 47:32.516 --> 47:33.758 What do you like? 47:34.158 --> 47:35.680 Some spaghetti? 47:36.340 --> 47:37.442 I'm from Italy. 47:37.702 --> 47:38.703 That's how I speak. 47:39.104 --> 47:39.364 What? 47:39.844 --> 47:41.706 You call me a racist? 47:42.367 --> 47:44.710 How dare you get out? 47:45.290 --> 47:46.372 I have a scooter. 47:47.998 --> 47:48.279 What? 47:49.020 --> 47:49.320 Dunno. 47:49.781 --> 47:50.161 Dunno. 47:50.362 --> 47:51.703 They're Italian, aren't they scooters? 47:51.884 --> 47:52.064 Yeah. 47:52.585 --> 47:59.535 Listen, have you ever had a job where you have done something naughty, you sort of sabotaged the thing that you were making in your job? 48:00.956 --> 48:25.193 I once worked on a wine production line when I was a teenager and I was responsible for putting the foil caps on the tops of the bottles so I would sit next to this production line and hundreds and hundreds of closely packed bottles would come past me in a row and with a simple gesture with my right hand I would pop these foil caps on bottle after bottle for eight hours a day with one hour for lunch. 48:25.293 --> 48:26.553 Yeah, the gesture of Onan. 48:26.954 --> 48:27.154 Yeah. 48:27.574 --> 48:35.416 I got bored of this very repetitive task, so I would chew gum, a French brand of gum, because I was doing this job in Bordeaux, it was a holiday job. 48:35.456 --> 48:36.677 Yeah, Hollywood gum, do you remember? 48:36.757 --> 48:37.997 Hollywood gum! 48:38.097 --> 48:39.297 It's a French brand of chew gum. 48:44.359 --> 48:45.960 Very quickly, yes. 48:46.100 --> 48:50.321 So I would pop the chewing gum between the cork and the foil lid. 48:50.421 --> 48:50.662 What? 48:51.002 --> 48:55.183 To give the person who opened the bottle a little bit of fun when they tried to put the cork squirt. 48:55.203 --> 48:56.124 A little Hollywood surprise. 48:56.244 --> 48:56.564 Yeah. 48:56.864 --> 48:58.104 Do you think that's a good thing to do? 48:58.885 --> 49:00.405 That is a weird thing to do. 49:00.425 --> 49:01.706 And the thing is that that would... 49:02.866 --> 49:05.249 basically be there for years and years, right? 49:05.289 --> 49:06.590 If it's a nice bottle of wine. 49:06.630 --> 49:11.414 Here's another story, because I think a lot of people do this kind of thing when you're doing kind of repetitive labor. 49:11.434 --> 49:13.777 You've got to think of something to liven up your day. 49:14.477 --> 49:25.107 I heard that Prince Charles's tailors would write anarchic wording, anarchic slogans inside the lining of his jackets. 49:26.148 --> 49:27.710 And it's become a kind of tradition. 49:28.010 --> 49:28.230 Yeah. 49:28.550 --> 49:31.972 Because they know that Prince Charles will never look inside the lining of the jacket. 49:32.012 --> 49:33.793 He will always send it off to get mended. 49:34.233 --> 49:39.316 But it gives them great satisfaction that there are anarchic anti-monarchy slogans written. 49:39.336 --> 49:40.016 Anti-monarchy? 49:40.076 --> 49:41.557 You don't know that for sure, though. 49:41.597 --> 49:44.918 This is a speculative, spurious, third-hand story. 49:44.938 --> 49:45.619 Right, right, right. 49:45.639 --> 49:45.719 Okay? 49:45.739 --> 49:47.059 About James Taylor and Roger Taylor. 49:47.099 --> 49:47.319 No, it's not. 49:47.340 --> 49:48.160 I don't know that it's true. 49:48.620 --> 49:49.220 That's unbelievable. 49:49.260 --> 49:50.281 Here's another one I heard. 49:50.541 --> 49:52.462 I tell you, I'm still reeling from that bombshell. 49:52.482 --> 49:56.084 A friend of mine was reading Hugh Hudson's autobiography. 49:56.144 --> 49:59.966 He directed Chariots of Fire and Greystoke, The Legend of Tarzan. 49:59.986 --> 50:02.527 And then he had a problem with a film called Revolution. 50:03.387 --> 50:05.468 And they had to stop him directing. 50:05.748 --> 50:06.829 He went to director jail. 50:06.929 --> 50:07.229 Yeah. 50:07.289 --> 50:08.190 Well, he came out again. 50:08.250 --> 50:09.890 He's made several films recently. 50:10.631 --> 50:17.314 But when he was working in an egg factory, he used to write obscene words inside the lid of the egg box. 50:17.614 --> 50:17.914 Yeah. 50:18.114 --> 50:19.115 Was it the Egg Box 360? 50:19.896 --> 50:21.857 It was the Egg Box 360, yeah. 50:21.877 --> 50:22.757 The Elite as well. 50:22.777 --> 50:25.339 It's the best kind of egg box you can get. 50:25.559 --> 50:26.740 Have you ever done that kind of thing? 50:26.760 --> 50:28.041 What was he writing them in there with? 50:28.461 --> 50:28.882 A pen? 50:29.042 --> 50:29.642 A pen. 50:30.763 --> 50:31.683 Good question though. 50:31.703 --> 50:33.324 Seems like a lot of effort to go to. 50:33.344 --> 50:35.326 He had a little obscenity pen. 50:35.746 --> 50:38.068 Yeah, but I'm just wondering, how's he got the time? 50:38.388 --> 50:39.168 Well, he was bored. 50:39.208 --> 50:40.629 He was putting eggs into egg boxes. 50:40.669 --> 50:41.530 That's kind of the point. 50:41.590 --> 50:42.911 Is he not on a production line though? 50:43.411 --> 50:43.671 Yeah. 50:43.772 --> 50:48.737 I want to know the facts about all... Well, this again is a second-hand story, but that's what I heard. 50:49.077 --> 50:52.461 But I think that's quite a common thing to do if you have to do a repetitive, boring job. 50:52.762 --> 50:54.243 You find ways to perk it up a little bit. 50:54.303 --> 50:56.586 Sure, you stamp a bit of individuality on the whole exercise. 50:56.606 --> 50:58.928 We're not saying this is a good thing to do or the right thing to do. 50:58.968 --> 51:00.010 Come on, how can it hurt? 51:00.290 --> 51:01.151 But it's fun. 51:01.331 --> 51:10.299 Here's the thing, what if Prince Charles one day snags his jacket on a branch or a deer. 51:10.619 --> 51:12.741 Someone's written, Prince Charles is a fool. 51:12.981 --> 51:13.521 Exactly. 51:13.661 --> 51:14.662 On the inside of the lining. 51:14.682 --> 51:16.484 Or Prince Ponce, exclamation mark. 51:16.624 --> 51:19.326 Or the royal family are an anachronism. 51:20.988 --> 51:22.129 in big letters though. 51:22.169 --> 51:23.671 He would be hopping bananas. 51:23.691 --> 51:24.712 With the drawing of a bottom. 51:24.953 --> 51:27.395 With a drawing of a little hairy bum. 51:27.535 --> 51:28.016 Exactly. 51:28.637 --> 51:32.741 With the drawing of a kilt being raised up. 51:33.242 --> 51:34.323 Oh that's too much man. 51:34.343 --> 51:35.004 And a little hairy bum. 51:35.024 --> 51:37.206 Don't think that kind of thing can be broadcast, is it? 51:37.306 --> 51:39.669 That's a bit much for a passing day, sure it is. 51:40.249 --> 51:42.831 He would be absolutely insane with anger. 51:42.871 --> 51:55.677 He would be in and he would track down Roger Taylor and James Taylor and all the other tailors and he would say which one of you chaps done that on my inside jacket I'd be trouble wouldn't their heads would roll. 51:55.697 --> 51:56.758 He's got a very distinctive voice. 51:56.798 --> 52:06.303 I don't know why I went for Brian blessed to impersonate him Yes, it's more like this exactly No, was it Roger Taylor or James Taylor that did the writing inside my jacket there. 52:06.383 --> 52:06.903 Have you ever done that? 52:07.023 --> 52:08.924 anything like that, though, can't buy kilos? 52:09.324 --> 52:10.164 I can't think. 52:10.264 --> 52:18.126 I mean, I used to work at a restaurant, so there wasn't so much scope for actually, you know, these weren't products that were going elsewhere. 52:18.546 --> 52:19.847 They were instantly consumed. 52:20.267 --> 52:25.208 And there's all kind of terrible ways of getting revenge on customers that people in restaurants do. 52:25.368 --> 52:26.329 That's a different story. 52:26.349 --> 52:28.649 Spitting and bogies and all sorts of terrible things. 52:28.769 --> 52:34.251 If you've ever done anything like that, listeners, and you'd like to contribute your story to the show, don't bother. 52:34.571 --> 52:39.715 because this is pre-recorded and we won't be able to hear your message, but hey, you could chat about it yourselves. 52:40.075 --> 52:41.816 That's nice, thanks man. 52:42.036 --> 52:47.760 That is nice, I mean it was a little harsh that you introduced the fact that it was a very brutal way of introducing the fact that it was pre-recorded. 52:47.800 --> 52:49.021 I just want to be straight with people. 52:49.441 --> 52:54.785 And then rather patronising me to say that you could chat amongst yourselves about it. 52:55.245 --> 52:59.628 Here to assuage your fury listeners is a classic track from The Jam. 52:59.648 --> 53:00.589 This is Beat Surrender. 53:00.609 --> 53:01.890 Put the fire up higher James. 53:04.622 --> 53:05.143 There you go. 53:05.223 --> 53:06.584 Now you can hear the fire. 53:06.644 --> 53:07.545 It's nice and toasty. 53:07.585 --> 53:09.146 We're nice and close to the fire, listeners. 53:09.346 --> 53:11.088 There's nothing like a real fire, is there? 53:11.748 --> 53:14.131 No, and this is nothing like a real fire. 53:15.592 --> 53:16.693 Do you know what I'd love to do? 53:16.713 --> 53:18.655 I'd have to go to sleep in front of a fire. 53:18.835 --> 53:19.055 Do you? 53:19.075 --> 53:19.455 That's dangerous. 53:19.475 --> 53:20.737 You've got to put the guard in front first. 53:21.317 --> 53:26.483 and stay at a safe distance, but there's nothing like turning out all the lights and just having the flickering fire. 53:26.763 --> 53:31.849 And what the fire actually does is it drains the oxygen from the air immediately around you, so it actually puts you to sleep. 53:32.049 --> 53:32.369 Does it? 53:32.730 --> 53:39.877 Which, you're right, is dangerous, probably, but under controlled, safe conditions with another fully awake fire safety officer in the room. 53:40.498 --> 53:41.179 Yeah, it's fine. 53:41.279 --> 53:49.649 Have you ever fallen asleep in front of the fire in the new dos with your beautiful lady partner and a sheepskin draped over you like James Bond? 53:50.270 --> 53:55.696 Yeah, but I usually have the sheepskin draped over my face and the rest of my nude body is exposed. 53:56.497 --> 53:57.959 Yeah, some... Have I... 53:58.860 --> 54:00.241 I'm not sure that I have actually. 54:00.261 --> 54:02.823 All those romantic things are totally impractical in real life. 54:02.843 --> 54:02.983 Why? 54:03.004 --> 54:05.085 Because all the fur gets up your schisms. 54:05.125 --> 54:06.787 Yeah, because you'd be in the front of the fire. 54:07.067 --> 54:12.912 After a while, all your extremities would get too hot and your eggs would get scrambled. 54:13.092 --> 54:14.173 You'd have to back off. 54:14.233 --> 54:15.294 It's ludicrous. 54:15.574 --> 54:18.536 It's like people having special baths and lighting candles and stuff. 54:18.556 --> 54:20.138 Do you remember that guy that wrote in and said that he... 54:20.478 --> 54:28.004 Had a film show in his bath with his girlfriend, sat there and he watched Showa or whatever it was for however many hours in the bath. 54:28.044 --> 54:29.725 Hi Matt, just seemed insane. 54:29.985 --> 54:31.646 Listen, get another present. 54:31.866 --> 54:37.671 It's present time listeners, because it's Boxing Day and Adam and I didn't see each other on Christmas Day, we're doing our present giving today. 54:38.191 --> 54:41.594 Adam's already given me Ant and Decks biography, ooh what a lovely pair. 54:41.614 --> 54:42.914 I actually bought that with my own money. 54:43.255 --> 54:45.236 £13 at costume, reduced from £20 to £13. 54:46.397 --> 54:47.478 even have a receipt that I can give it. 54:47.498 --> 54:48.659 He's born with an executive toy. 54:48.820 --> 54:54.145 I've given him a comic book autobiography of Opera Winfrey. 54:54.245 --> 54:56.027 Thanks a lot. 54:56.347 --> 54:58.470 Opera Winfrey in the Female Force series. 54:58.490 --> 54:58.870 Very good. 54:59.571 --> 55:01.092 Now I've got two more presents left for you Adam. 55:01.733 --> 55:05.454 One of them is like quite a serious present. 55:05.914 --> 55:10.196 And the other one is a more flippant present. 55:10.456 --> 55:11.196 Is it Tony Blair? 55:11.356 --> 55:12.297 Which one would you like? 55:13.037 --> 55:14.137 I would like the serious one. 55:14.437 --> 55:14.757 OK. 55:14.997 --> 55:16.918 And I think you've probably got this already. 55:17.618 --> 55:18.999 So this is interesting, listeners. 55:19.099 --> 55:19.919 Is it a baby son? 55:20.399 --> 55:21.219 No, it's a book. 55:22.720 --> 55:25.241 And I would imagine you've already got this. 55:26.261 --> 55:27.702 Uh, it would be very good if you didn't. 55:28.402 --> 55:34.966 But now we can see whether Count Puculis can lie successfully about being given something he's already got now. 55:35.706 --> 55:42.930 My lady partner's birthday was recent, and a good friend of hers gave her a DVD, which I clearly knew we already had. 55:43.570 --> 55:45.771 And he said, oh, I really hope you don't have this. 55:47.978 --> 55:48.458 Here it is. 55:48.639 --> 55:49.279 It's wonderful. 55:49.739 --> 55:50.340 And she opened it. 55:50.640 --> 55:51.281 We did have it. 55:51.521 --> 55:52.341 She knew we had it. 55:52.942 --> 55:53.662 But she lied. 55:53.722 --> 55:54.363 She said no. 55:54.383 --> 55:55.464 And I couldn't. 55:55.784 --> 55:57.966 It was on the tip of my tongue going, of course we've got this. 55:58.066 --> 56:01.348 In fact, I think I'd even talked about it to the friend who was giving it. 56:02.409 --> 56:03.270 But I said nothing. 56:03.410 --> 56:03.950 I said nothing. 56:04.110 --> 56:08.153 But it seemed to me like a sort of a shallow charade that was being played out. 56:08.273 --> 56:08.894 It's tricky, though. 56:08.994 --> 56:11.936 In this situation right now, because we're on the radio, I will tell you the truth. 56:11.996 --> 56:13.037 If I have it, I'll tell you. 56:13.277 --> 56:19.361 But actually, if it's a real situation, someone's gone out and bought something for you, they're excited about giving it to you, they've spent their own money on it. 56:19.381 --> 56:21.362 Well, that's this situation I'm excited about. 56:21.622 --> 56:23.143 I really hope you haven't got it. 56:23.623 --> 56:31.568 I'd be so much happier if you didn't have it and you went, oh, I didn't even know this had been published, it's like it's been written for me. 56:31.768 --> 56:33.970 Because it's like this book has been written for you, seriously. 56:34.610 --> 56:36.571 It's a book about something you love to do. 56:36.591 --> 56:37.772 This is going to be quite insulting, isn't it? 56:37.832 --> 56:39.093 By somebody you love. 56:39.273 --> 56:39.453 Right. 56:39.473 --> 56:40.073 Do you know what it is? 56:40.093 --> 56:40.814 Can you guess what it is? 56:41.414 --> 56:43.795 A book about something you do a lot. 56:43.835 --> 56:45.316 Is it men in their sheds or something? 56:45.336 --> 56:46.876 No, buys somebody you love. 56:46.976 --> 56:47.777 Anyway, there we go. 56:48.137 --> 56:52.779 Is it a book by Charles Brandreth about self-pleasuring? 56:53.219 --> 56:53.439 No. 56:53.459 --> 56:55.120 It was published in Britain in the summer. 56:55.857 --> 56:56.457 Oh, wow. 56:57.578 --> 57:00.319 This is The Bicycle Diaries by David Byrne. 57:00.339 --> 57:00.999 Have you got that? 57:01.079 --> 57:02.019 Ex-lead singer of Talking Heads. 57:02.079 --> 57:03.740 I didn't even know this existed. 57:03.760 --> 57:04.880 Oh, I popped the receipt in there. 57:04.920 --> 57:05.581 Whoops, really? 57:05.661 --> 57:06.241 And that receipt. 57:06.701 --> 57:07.581 Oh, wow. 57:07.601 --> 57:10.903 So it's a book all about cycling written by David Byrne from the Talking Heads. 57:10.923 --> 57:15.124 Co-founder of the musical group Talking Heads, David Byrne has also released several solo albums, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 57:15.544 --> 57:16.465 And this is... 57:17.485 --> 57:25.451 Since the early 1980s, renowned musician and visual artist David Byrne has been riding a bike as his principal means of transportation in New York City. 57:25.771 --> 57:26.211 You know what? 57:26.251 --> 57:29.954 I put a video piece of his on my blog a while back. 57:30.394 --> 57:39.280 With him, he'd got like a helmet cam and he was riding around New York City giving a little running commentary as he cycled to a show that he was doing. 57:39.600 --> 57:46.825 It's one of the most wonderful bits of footage that I've seen for ages, mainly because I absolutely adore David Byrne and everything he does, so I was just... 57:47.245 --> 57:53.848 Bewitched by the sound of his voice, but be you know I love to cycle as well New York City always great to see that place, right? 57:53.868 --> 57:55.449 Hey Get up. 57:55.489 --> 57:56.769 Would you like a hot dog? 57:56.970 --> 57:57.870 Why New York? 57:58.030 --> 57:58.650 What are you doing? 57:58.690 --> 57:59.931 Drakey get out of the way? 58:00.471 --> 58:02.812 Oh, you want a big apple or even bigger one? 58:03.373 --> 58:07.474 Oh, yeah, that kind of thing and I didn't know this existed. 58:07.494 --> 58:09.415 This is a great presence. 58:09.495 --> 58:10.856 Is he lying though listeners? 58:10.916 --> 58:11.536 Of course I'm not lying. 58:11.556 --> 58:12.297 I don't think he isn't lying. 58:12.317 --> 58:12.877 I know him well enough. 58:12.917 --> 58:13.497 He's not lying. 58:13.517 --> 58:14.578 I can't lie that well. 58:15.198 --> 58:16.098 This is amazing. 58:16.118 --> 58:16.979 It's a beautiful edition. 58:17.039 --> 58:18.099 It's a hardback edition. 58:18.139 --> 58:20.420 I bought it for you in Borders in Santa Monica. 58:20.681 --> 58:23.902 And look, it is even, you can even, I love books like this. 58:24.242 --> 58:28.444 It's even got a flick book picture down on the bottom. 58:28.484 --> 58:28.844 Has it? 58:28.884 --> 58:29.605 There you go, Burnie. 58:29.625 --> 58:31.526 He doesn't miss a trick with a little cycling man. 58:31.546 --> 58:32.326 Oh, I love it. 58:32.946 --> 58:34.187 How fantastic. 58:34.487 --> 58:35.948 That's a proper good present, man. 58:36.228 --> 58:36.488 Pleasure. 58:36.648 --> 58:38.449 I feel bad now that I caught you all around. 58:38.729 --> 58:40.611 Well hey, I've still got one to come, right? 58:40.671 --> 58:41.572 It could be a good one. 58:42.172 --> 58:43.673 Don't shatter my illusions. 58:43.994 --> 58:45.675 I bet it's going to be really good. 58:47.156 --> 58:48.598 Don't shatter my illusions. 58:48.638 --> 58:49.999 I'm not worried about your illusions now. 58:50.019 --> 58:54.683 I'm worried about the fact that you've suddenly shifted the present giving parameters. 58:54.923 --> 58:55.964 I've upped the ante. 58:56.004 --> 58:57.505 It's a game changer. 58:58.046 --> 58:59.067 It is a game changer. 58:59.107 --> 59:00.107 That is a good present. 59:00.908 --> 59:06.892 Do you think if I threw this cork at our producer James's head, it would like bounce off in a satisfying way? 59:06.952 --> 59:10.134 Listeners, I've got to tell you that Joe is not a drinker normally, right? 59:10.414 --> 59:14.477 And he's had like three little paper cups of sparkling wine. 59:14.577 --> 59:15.398 It's not going to hurt. 59:15.478 --> 59:16.498 I just want to see it bowing off. 59:16.538 --> 59:17.399 We've had to go 59:21.922 --> 59:23.583 He's just throwing the cork at James. 59:23.643 --> 59:24.704 It bounced off the back of the chair. 59:24.804 --> 59:26.805 It was even, it did the same thing. 59:26.845 --> 59:27.366 It did the bounce. 59:27.386 --> 59:32.690 I haven't seen Joe like this for a long time since we were like 14 year olds and we used to drink too much for fun. 59:33.510 --> 59:34.211 But he's gone a bit. 59:34.231 --> 59:36.273 Is that how out of hand I get throwing a cork? 59:36.813 --> 59:39.355 From a distance of three feet of a man's head. 59:39.375 --> 59:41.757 Here's some music for you right now listeners. 59:41.797 --> 59:45.560 This is Band of Horses and a track called No One's Gonna Love You. 59:50.526 --> 59:51.172 Adam and Jo! 01:00:01.778 --> 01:00:05.560 The guest light anthem there, the 59 sound. 01:00:05.621 --> 01:00:08.282 This is Adam and Joe in our Boxing Day shag. 01:00:08.302 --> 01:00:09.303 It's so cosy. 01:00:09.343 --> 01:00:10.604 Thanks for joining us, listeners. 01:00:10.644 --> 01:00:12.745 We hope you're having a lovely Boxing Day. 01:00:12.785 --> 01:00:19.269 We're coming to you in a pre-recorded fashion from our little log cabin just outside the walls of the castle. 01:00:19.309 --> 01:00:23.852 We've got a fantastic log fire going and we're both wearing our Christmas outfits. 01:00:24.313 --> 01:00:29.216 Adam and I make Christmas extra Christmasy by wearing a special selection of clothes. 01:00:29.776 --> 01:00:30.777 for the Christmas period. 01:00:30.797 --> 01:00:31.738 Adam, what have you got on? 01:00:31.838 --> 01:00:33.519 Talk us through your Christmas wardrobe. 01:00:34.060 --> 01:00:36.882 Well, I've got, you can hear them there, I've got a pair of paper pants. 01:00:37.262 --> 01:00:44.549 When you say pants, tell the listeners whether you mean underwear or trousers, because American listeners might be confused. 01:00:44.609 --> 01:00:45.169 Sure, sure, sure. 01:00:45.810 --> 01:00:47.731 I think the Americans would call them knickers. 01:00:48.092 --> 01:00:48.452 Knickers. 01:00:48.492 --> 01:00:51.254 So you've got newspaper, underpants made of newspaper. 01:00:51.274 --> 01:00:51.494 Yeah. 01:00:51.795 --> 01:00:53.996 Why do you wear underpants that are made of newspaper? 01:00:54.077 --> 01:00:56.619 Is it for ease of changing them when you soil them? 01:00:56.799 --> 01:00:57.499 Yeah, I get through a lot. 01:00:58.420 --> 01:01:01.883 So, you know, I could use classier paper as what you're thinking, obviously, listeners. 01:01:01.963 --> 01:01:03.404 Why doesn't he use- What newspaper do you use? 01:01:03.424 --> 01:01:04.945 Do you use a broadsheet or a tabloid? 01:01:05.005 --> 01:01:07.187 I use that depending on what you've eaten on the previous day. 01:01:08.248 --> 01:01:10.190 I use a- I don't mind, really. 01:01:10.210 --> 01:01:11.671 I'll use whatever's lying around. 01:01:11.691 --> 01:01:12.091 Right, right. 01:01:12.151 --> 01:01:12.872 I like The Guardian. 01:01:13.292 --> 01:01:15.794 Right, yeah, that's a lovely paper to make pants out of. 01:01:15.934 --> 01:01:17.275 Oh, because it's- What else are you wearing? 01:01:17.335 --> 01:01:18.236 It's nicely balanced. 01:01:18.416 --> 01:01:22.439 I mean, obviously, I can see what you're wearing, but I'm just thinking about this from the audience's point of view. 01:01:22.459 --> 01:01:24.260 Sure, from the audience's point of view. 01:01:24.520 --> 01:01:26.001 Well, not that much more. 01:01:26.481 --> 01:01:29.864 I mean, I've got some... I mean, you've made a bra out of tuppenny pieces. 01:01:29.944 --> 01:01:30.264 Yeah. 01:01:30.624 --> 01:01:36.408 Which is just two tuppenny pieces that seem to... You draw the little hole in each, and then you've passed some shoelace through them. 01:01:36.528 --> 01:01:36.928 That's right. 01:01:37.028 --> 01:01:38.670 And you've just positioned them over your nipples. 01:01:38.710 --> 01:01:39.450 Tuppence pieces. 01:01:39.530 --> 01:01:41.612 I got them from a Christmas pudding. 01:01:41.852 --> 01:01:42.292 Did you? 01:01:42.312 --> 01:01:44.614 Well, there are still some little bits of Christmas pudding on them. 01:01:45.594 --> 01:01:46.795 Oh, that's not Christmas pudding. 01:01:49.076 --> 01:01:49.556 What is it? 01:01:50.296 --> 01:01:51.397 I'd rather not go into it. 01:01:51.877 --> 01:01:56.138 I saw boggins earlier on today and jumped up and started licking my face. 01:01:56.518 --> 01:01:56.918 How about you? 01:01:56.958 --> 01:01:57.498 What are you wearing? 01:01:57.838 --> 01:02:01.359 Well, of course, every Christmas what I tend to wear is a Santa hat. 01:02:01.599 --> 01:02:01.779 Sure. 01:02:02.039 --> 01:02:08.500 So I've got my Santa hat on and then I've got actually my Tuppence bra on as well. 01:02:08.600 --> 01:02:09.541 Yeah, we've both got them. 01:02:09.641 --> 01:02:10.441 But underneath 01:02:11.221 --> 01:02:15.563 a sort of chainmail suit made out of coke can ring pulls. 01:02:16.443 --> 01:02:25.687 So all year I've been collecting coke can ring pulls and I've been sort of sewing them together with little bits of thread and I've actually made a whole sort of chainmail shirt. 01:02:25.727 --> 01:02:28.628 So that's really, really good looking, isn't it? 01:02:28.668 --> 01:02:32.909 It's brilliant because it reminds me of the glory days of DIY fashion. 01:02:32.929 --> 01:02:34.490 Well, it's all back in action now. 01:02:34.710 --> 01:02:38.052 Who was the lady that used to design a lot of stuff like that from the face? 01:02:38.072 --> 01:02:42.255 And what I'd done, she was called Carol Thatcher. 01:02:43.796 --> 01:02:48.500 And what I've actually done on my lower half is I've actually cooked and wrapped spaghetti. 01:02:48.780 --> 01:02:50.241 And this is something you can do at home. 01:02:50.841 --> 01:02:56.846 I've found the longest spaghetti sticks I could find in the organic spaghetti shop. 01:02:57.446 --> 01:02:58.227 I've boiled them up. 01:02:58.327 --> 01:03:01.349 And what I did was I wrapped them round my legs all the way up. 01:03:01.669 --> 01:03:04.031 And then I've simply let them harden and crisp. 01:03:04.894 --> 01:03:07.411 and what they are with their spaghetti long johns. 01:03:08.550 --> 01:03:16.332 And, of course, it was hard to wrap them round my upper torso because my biology gets a little more complex in terms of shapes. 01:03:16.352 --> 01:03:16.552 Yeah. 01:03:17.053 --> 01:03:17.913 Yeah, up there. 01:03:18.113 --> 01:03:18.333 Sure. 01:03:18.673 --> 01:03:20.314 Well, you know, I've gone for a kilt. 01:03:20.434 --> 01:03:22.614 What I like to do... But with a very festive tartan on it. 01:03:22.714 --> 01:03:25.275 And, you know, you brought up the subject of those areas. 01:03:25.575 --> 01:03:26.615 I call them the Netherlands. 01:03:27.556 --> 01:03:31.057 What I like to do with my Netherlands is wrap bacon round them. 01:03:31.737 --> 01:03:34.098 So it's like a kind of pig in a blanket. 01:03:36.432 --> 01:03:37.933 That's dangerous at Christmas. 01:03:37.953 --> 01:03:38.713 It's Christmas-y! 01:03:38.733 --> 01:03:46.977 Yeah, but wasn't there that time a couple of Christmases ago when your wife accidentally- Oh, she stuck a cocktail stick in it, yeah. 01:03:48.197 --> 01:03:49.858 But at least she was interested. 01:03:49.898 --> 01:04:03.744 That'll be the most disturbing family Christmas if Dad wrapped a piece of bacon around the old chapel and just stood there at the table with it next to the turkey. 01:04:05.083 --> 01:04:08.527 One of these pig-in-a-baskets is not like the other one. 01:04:09.228 --> 01:04:12.752 One of these pig-in-a-baskets should not have a cocktail stick stuck through it. 01:04:12.772 --> 01:04:14.193 That would be the song he'd sing. 01:04:14.534 --> 01:04:16.676 Anyway, listen, this isn't very family-friendly chit chat. 01:04:16.696 --> 01:04:17.317 It's not really, is it? 01:04:17.577 --> 01:04:19.880 But it's mid-day on Boxing Day, so... That's true. 01:04:19.900 --> 01:04:20.841 Building up to the big dinner. 01:04:21.021 --> 01:04:22.402 It's not a big problem, right? 01:04:22.783 --> 01:04:24.905 Here's Depeche Mode with fragile tension. 01:04:25.085 --> 01:04:26.687 After this, more presents. 01:04:27.047 --> 01:04:29.570 Depeche Mode there was fragile tension. 01:04:29.630 --> 01:04:32.813 Back in the day, some people used to call them Depeche Mode. 01:04:33.053 --> 01:04:33.393 Idiots. 01:04:33.774 --> 01:04:36.016 I used to get very frustrated when that happened. 01:04:36.336 --> 01:04:39.259 And maybe that is more like the correct pronunciation. 01:04:39.299 --> 01:04:42.202 I don't know, because obviously it's a French word, but... Depeche? 01:04:42.302 --> 01:04:42.823 I'm not sure. 01:04:43.964 --> 01:04:46.066 We want to hear your thoughts, listeners. 01:04:46.086 --> 01:04:47.147 The number is, I'm joking. 01:04:47.327 --> 01:04:48.448 It's not live, I'm sorry. 01:04:48.468 --> 01:04:49.669 We're pre-recording this show. 01:04:50.449 --> 01:04:53.392 It's going out on Boxing Day and we're very happy to be with you. 01:04:53.712 --> 01:05:06.824 Now, Boxing Day can be a tricky time because often people are a little hungover from the day before and, you know, maybe the Christmas spirit in some households may be wearing a little bit thin and it's often the day when hideous arguments happen. 01:05:07.144 --> 01:05:07.384 Sure. 01:05:07.404 --> 01:05:09.586 Wouldn't you say children having tantrums? 01:05:10.447 --> 01:05:11.548 Grandpa came out of hand. 01:05:11.609 --> 01:05:15.673 Yeah, because, I mean, the children perhaps are expecting more presents. 01:05:15.693 --> 01:05:16.834 They get a little bit bored. 01:05:16.854 --> 01:05:20.759 A bit spoiled and, well, that's what TV's for on boxing. 01:05:20.779 --> 01:05:20.979 Right. 01:05:21.019 --> 01:05:25.924 Or at least that's what it was traditionally for, to bring the family together on that most depressing of days. 01:05:26.545 --> 01:05:27.825 But not anymore. 01:05:27.845 --> 01:05:35.948 Everyone splits off into their own little universe and does whatever they're doing, plays their video games or watches their MP3 videos. 01:05:36.028 --> 01:05:38.749 Oh, I'm planning to have quite a video game heavy Christmas. 01:05:38.849 --> 01:05:39.169 Are you? 01:05:39.510 --> 01:05:41.530 Yeah, I want to get into the new Call of Duty. 01:05:41.550 --> 01:05:44.351 I want to maybe get into Drake's Progress. 01:05:45.051 --> 01:05:45.972 Drake, what's it called? 01:05:46.052 --> 01:05:46.572 Uncharted. 01:05:46.892 --> 01:05:49.454 How long are you spending on Call of Duty, for example, one session? 01:05:49.474 --> 01:05:50.835 Like a long session? 01:05:50.855 --> 01:05:51.976 About half an hour. 01:05:52.296 --> 01:05:52.617 Oh, really? 01:05:52.637 --> 01:05:53.097 That's not too bad. 01:05:53.137 --> 01:05:55.219 Only because I've got too much other stuff to do at the moment. 01:05:55.239 --> 01:05:55.359 Sure. 01:05:55.379 --> 01:05:57.240 But over Christmas, time will be freed up a bit. 01:05:57.280 --> 01:05:58.521 That's the time to do, really. 01:05:59.042 --> 01:06:01.144 Totally unconstructive, indulgent things like that. 01:06:01.204 --> 01:06:03.005 And you can easily limit yourself to just the half hour. 01:06:03.025 --> 01:06:04.406 I'm gonna kill so many digital people. 01:06:04.426 --> 01:06:04.746 Well done. 01:06:04.886 --> 01:06:06.508 It's gonna be a digital massacre. 01:06:06.848 --> 01:06:07.288 Hundreds. 01:06:07.529 --> 01:06:07.669 Yeah. 01:06:08.470 --> 01:06:13.040 I read a video game review the other day and the magazine had put a KPM rating on it. 01:06:13.420 --> 01:06:14.062 Kills per minute. 01:06:14.122 --> 01:06:14.262 Yep. 01:06:14.783 --> 01:06:15.244 Oh dear. 01:06:15.445 --> 01:06:17.028 Do you think that's a good way for culture to go? 01:06:18.206 --> 01:06:25.710 Well, I suppose if it's so divorced from reality that they feel it's okay to joke about it, but for me, Joe, I'm a professional killer. 01:06:25.730 --> 01:06:28.751 I'm a professional mercenary, so to me it's not a joke. 01:06:29.172 --> 01:06:29.452 Really? 01:06:29.472 --> 01:06:31.673 Because it's my job, I go out and I hunt down. 01:06:31.693 --> 01:06:32.413 It's true, isn't it? 01:06:32.453 --> 01:06:35.055 You're a big supporter of keeping boggins alive, for instance. 01:06:35.195 --> 01:06:35.495 Yeah. 01:06:35.835 --> 01:06:39.777 So you think fictional killing is just as bad as real killing? 01:06:39.877 --> 01:06:41.738 I do, I don't think it's not something you should joke about. 01:06:41.758 --> 01:06:42.358 The K-word. 01:06:42.458 --> 01:06:43.219 Yeah, the K-word. 01:06:43.259 --> 01:06:43.479 Yeah. 01:06:44.159 --> 01:06:44.840 Would you like a present? 01:06:45.040 --> 01:06:46.000 I'd love a present! 01:06:46.020 --> 01:06:47.722 Just the light and the atmosphere. 01:06:47.782 --> 01:06:51.364 Adam and I are giving each other prezzies because we didn't see each other on Christmas Day. 01:06:51.684 --> 01:06:53.346 I've already got Ant and Dex biography. 01:06:53.486 --> 01:06:54.626 Ooh, what a lovely pair. 01:06:55.087 --> 01:06:56.107 Sort of punny title. 01:06:56.388 --> 01:06:59.530 Joe gave me a cartoon about the life of Oprah Winfrey. 01:07:00.050 --> 01:07:00.611 A cartoon? 01:07:00.691 --> 01:07:01.131 A comic. 01:07:01.751 --> 01:07:04.794 He also gave me a proper, seriously good present. 01:07:05.094 --> 01:07:07.195 David Byrne's book, Bicycle Diaries. 01:07:07.315 --> 01:07:08.336 Didn't even know it existed. 01:07:08.376 --> 01:07:14.781 And if we're slurring our words and making more mistakes than usual listeners, it's because we've got a bottle of sparkling rose on the go. 01:07:14.902 --> 01:07:15.102 Yeah. 01:07:15.122 --> 01:07:17.824 Because it's Boxing Day, and we're a tiny little bit tipsy. 01:07:18.164 --> 01:07:20.787 But that's OK if you're over 18, or 16, or whatever it is. 01:07:24.190 --> 01:07:26.372 If you're under 16, stick to the alcohol pops. 01:07:27.733 --> 01:07:28.634 No, no, I'm sorry. 01:07:30.156 --> 01:07:31.437 That was a satirical comment. 01:07:31.618 --> 01:07:32.058 Oh, was it? 01:07:32.318 --> 01:07:34.721 That would be fine on have I got news for you the week. 01:07:35.261 --> 01:07:37.544 I wish someone would mock the week. 01:07:37.644 --> 01:07:38.625 It's been ridiculous. 01:07:39.306 --> 01:07:40.507 Politics is absurd. 01:07:42.769 --> 01:07:43.710 I'm going to sleep. 01:07:43.930 --> 01:07:44.791 Gordon Brown. 01:07:45.331 --> 01:07:45.712 What was that? 01:07:46.272 --> 01:07:46.873 I said Gordon Brown. 01:07:47.093 --> 01:07:47.994 Gordon Brown. 01:07:48.094 --> 01:07:51.076 It's a CD, it's clearly a CD this present that Adam's given me. 01:07:51.157 --> 01:07:53.198 It's got another little smiley face on it. 01:07:53.639 --> 01:07:55.580 This one's green little smiley face sticker. 01:07:55.640 --> 01:07:56.321 Little sticker. 01:07:58.022 --> 01:08:01.085 Oh, it's Bob Dylan's Christmas songs. 01:08:01.706 --> 01:08:04.648 Now, to the... Yeah, I forgot to label her back. 01:08:05.089 --> 01:08:08.892 To the untrained eye, this might seem like an actual commercially produced CD. 01:08:10.893 --> 01:08:18.838 because the first thing that hits the eye are the words Bob Dylan's Christmas songs and they've sort of got snow on the top of the letters. 01:08:18.898 --> 01:08:19.879 Yeah, it's like a font. 01:08:20.079 --> 01:08:21.159 Yeah, snowy font. 01:08:21.600 --> 01:08:32.206 But the snow is sort of translucent, the lettering is white and the snow is sort of see-through, which makes it look less like snow and more like something Boggins might have deposited on the letter. 01:08:32.226 --> 01:08:32.586 It's true, isn't it? 01:08:32.626 --> 01:08:34.267 That bothered me as well when I was typing it in. 01:08:34.307 --> 01:08:35.348 It's surround the image 01:08:36.008 --> 01:08:54.635 uh above that script is is surrounded by a border of a sort of greek square curlicue thing what do you call that it's like a traditional greek border so it's got a slightly um you know greek i wouldn't know what you call that and then the image is sort of a sad center 01:08:56.235 --> 01:08:57.975 And he's got a kind of a mutant face. 01:08:58.016 --> 01:08:58.956 Is that your face in there? 01:08:58.976 --> 01:09:01.096 No, that's Dylan's face in there. 01:09:01.136 --> 01:09:03.857 I'm just used to you putting your face wherever you can possibly put it. 01:09:03.877 --> 01:09:05.978 This is an album that I have made for you, Joe. 01:09:05.998 --> 01:09:06.478 Wow. 01:09:06.638 --> 01:09:10.339 Of me singing in the style of Bob Dylan, Christmas songs. 01:09:10.499 --> 01:09:15.100 And it's a combination of real Christmas songs like Ding Dong Marily on High. 01:09:15.160 --> 01:09:15.360 Right. 01:09:15.640 --> 01:09:17.961 Do you want to hear Bob Dylan's version of Ding Dong Marily on High? 01:09:18.081 --> 01:09:18.682 Yes, please. 01:09:19.042 --> 01:09:20.643 And this is... Let's pop this CD in. 01:09:20.683 --> 01:09:28.227 Because, of course, in case you didn't realize, listeners, Bob Dylan actually did release a Christmas CD this year, and his voice is completely wonkaloid now. 01:09:28.247 --> 01:09:29.388 We've talked about this already. 01:09:29.428 --> 01:09:30.048 Yeah, exactly. 01:09:30.148 --> 01:09:33.190 So here's my version of Ding Dong Marily on High in a Bob Dylan style. 01:09:35.987 --> 01:09:38.409 Oh, Santa, great to see you. 01:09:38.769 --> 01:09:40.390 Wow, how have you been? 01:09:40.790 --> 01:09:41.951 Oh, hi, Joanna. 01:09:42.131 --> 01:09:44.212 Wonderful to see you, too. 01:09:44.292 --> 01:09:46.133 Ding dong, merrily, oh, hi. 01:09:46.394 --> 01:09:48.775 The Christmas bells are ringing. 01:09:49.055 --> 01:09:51.357 Ding dong, merrily, oh, hi. 01:09:51.417 --> 01:09:53.358 Something, something, sing it. 01:09:53.598 --> 01:10:00.482 Oh. 01:10:00.542 --> 01:10:02.824 Joanna's got a shell suit. 01:10:09.927 --> 01:10:11.928 Rosanna lives in Chelsea! 01:10:12.029 --> 01:10:16.932 That's just a little clip. 01:10:16.952 --> 01:10:18.653 Things are really taking off for Dylan again. 01:10:18.773 --> 01:10:23.216 There's a bit of a slump in his career and topicality, but he's really found a way to lift it. 01:10:23.776 --> 01:10:32.462 On the image on the front of the CD, it shows a sort of disenfranchised Santa, almost like a sort of homeless man, or what you might call a beggar, sitting on a corner. 01:10:32.782 --> 01:10:37.025 He's in a Santa's outfit, but he's got a weird collecting tin and a sign round his neck. 01:10:37.045 --> 01:10:38.046 What does that sign say? 01:10:38.486 --> 01:10:42.687 The sign says, Slay Broke Down. 01:10:43.387 --> 01:10:44.047 The Slay Broke Down. 01:10:44.067 --> 01:10:45.127 The Slay Broke Down. 01:10:45.167 --> 01:10:46.207 Yeah, that's why he's collecting. 01:10:46.327 --> 01:10:47.988 Right, to try and repair the Slay. 01:10:48.028 --> 01:10:49.548 Well, that's terrific. 01:10:49.588 --> 01:10:51.768 Are there any other tracks we can have a quick listen to on here? 01:10:51.808 --> 01:10:52.429 Yeah, sure. 01:10:52.749 --> 01:10:58.850 There's a track that's very topical, and it's about something that many of us will be receiving this Christmas. 01:10:58.870 --> 01:10:59.910 What number is it? 01:11:00.110 --> 01:11:03.331 It is track one, and it is... Have a listen to it. 01:11:03.351 --> 01:11:03.651 All right. 01:11:04.071 --> 01:11:05.271 What have you got for Uncle Bob? 01:11:07.583 --> 01:11:09.525 My favorite! 01:11:09.605 --> 01:11:12.328 Box set, DVD box set! 01:11:12.548 --> 01:11:14.510 Box set, DVD box set! 01:11:14.890 --> 01:11:18.113 Thank you very much for the DVD box set! 01:11:18.253 --> 01:11:20.436 Oh yeah, can't wait to watch it! 01:11:20.696 --> 01:11:23.238 Jonathan Creek, the in-betweeners and friends! 01:11:23.819 --> 01:11:26.201 So many episodes the pleasure never ends! 01:11:26.501 --> 01:11:29.965 Deadwood, alias, life on Mars and howl! 01:11:32.981 --> 01:11:34.762 I really do. 01:11:35.182 --> 01:11:36.483 I love to watch them. 01:11:36.683 --> 01:11:37.564 And so do you. 01:11:37.704 --> 01:11:40.666 I plan to spend all my remaining years watching my boxes. 01:11:40.806 --> 01:11:44.809 That'll start Galactica. 01:11:44.829 --> 01:11:46.029 The writing is complex. 01:11:46.149 --> 01:11:48.831 It's all about religion and politics and sex. 01:11:48.871 --> 01:11:51.833 Box and Diddy do box and box and Diddy. 01:11:53.414 --> 01:12:14.522 DVD box and thank you very much for the DVD box and Desperate Housewives I love 24, I watch a season and a day It only makes sense if you're watching that way Power every hour, my eyes are getting sore Come on Jack, torture terrorism What you mean you haven't seen the wire yet? 01:12:14.542 --> 01:12:20.484 That shows about as brilliant as the television get You have to watch a few before you start getting into it 01:12:22.345 --> 01:12:24.047 He's in such good voice, isn't he? 01:12:24.107 --> 01:12:27.310 He's in... Actually, his voice kind of came together for that track. 01:12:43.610 --> 01:13:04.439 You know I was gonna give you as a present the wire season one because I thought you know it would be funny and I could say hey have you seen this and I could rehearse the whole tedious wire conversation but you know what went through my mind I thought no Adam will just go oh yeah this is brilliant I can lend it to someone else and you'd be all serious about it 01:13:04.679 --> 01:13:06.240 I would give it right back to you as well, I'd say. 01:13:06.260 --> 01:13:07.220 You were to make me watch it. 01:13:07.281 --> 01:13:08.661 I'd say, come on, sort your life out. 01:13:08.901 --> 01:13:13.124 The other day you were pouring buckets of scorn over me for not having seen the new Guy Ritchie film. 01:13:13.344 --> 01:13:14.645 You haven't even seen The Wire! 01:13:14.985 --> 01:13:16.686 Talk about a gulf of... I've seen some of The Wire. 01:13:16.806 --> 01:13:17.286 ...cultural. 01:13:17.326 --> 01:13:17.846 What have you seen? 01:13:18.027 --> 01:13:19.868 I've seen a bit of Series 3, quite a bit of Series 3. 01:13:20.328 --> 01:13:21.048 It's not a dipper. 01:13:21.288 --> 01:13:21.989 It's not a dipper. 01:13:22.029 --> 01:13:23.450 I'd done the dippin'. 01:13:23.470 --> 01:13:23.850 Delicious. 01:13:24.170 --> 01:13:24.830 No dipping. 01:13:25.170 --> 01:13:25.791 So there you go. 01:13:26.331 --> 01:13:28.352 There's one more Dylan track on there. 01:13:28.392 --> 01:13:30.993 We might play before the end of the show, but... Hey, that's up to me. 01:13:31.033 --> 01:13:31.593 It's my present. 01:13:31.613 --> 01:13:32.413 It's not yours anymore. 01:13:32.974 --> 01:13:33.954 Just because you composed it. 01:13:34.054 --> 01:13:34.594 I own it now. 01:13:34.614 --> 01:13:38.156 It's drunk out of his mind. 01:13:38.556 --> 01:13:39.896 It's a free play for you, listeners. 01:13:39.916 --> 01:13:40.257 I love you. 01:13:40.577 --> 01:13:43.658 This is from the Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence soundtrack. 01:13:43.918 --> 01:13:46.359 That's a film that has a place in both of our hearts, right? 01:13:46.499 --> 01:13:53.226 What a film, directed by Ruishi Sakamoto, written by David Bowie, and starring Dawn French. 01:13:54.227 --> 01:13:59.573 This is, as you can kick it off James, because it's got the long, sort of, quiet... Is that what this is? 01:13:59.653 --> 01:14:02.936 Yes, but it's not the totally instrumental version, it's the best of both worlds. 01:14:03.817 --> 01:14:04.818 What a funny face. 01:14:05.019 --> 01:14:06.440 Beautiful eyes though. 01:14:06.801 --> 01:14:10.926 It's Ruichi Sakamoto with David Silvian singing over the top. 01:14:11.186 --> 01:14:13.649 This is the theme from Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence. 01:14:14.430 --> 01:14:16.813 I love you. 01:14:17.474 --> 01:14:18.595 That was just a message from me. 01:14:18.655 --> 01:14:19.957 This is not a new track. 01:14:44.557 --> 01:14:45.298 You know what, listeners? 01:14:45.338 --> 01:14:45.959 I'm totally wrong. 01:14:46.019 --> 01:14:46.660 Sorry to interrupt. 01:14:46.680 --> 01:14:47.962 This is the instrumental version. 01:14:48.282 --> 01:14:49.244 There's no Sylvian on here. 01:14:49.264 --> 01:14:51.928 Apologies, Sylvian fans, but enjoy Ruichi. 01:14:59.679 --> 01:15:01.280 Marling Black Label. 01:15:02.761 --> 01:15:04.622 Laura Marling, that was, with Ghosts. 01:15:04.902 --> 01:15:08.123 This is Adam and Jo, our pre-recorded Boxing Day show. 01:15:08.183 --> 01:15:10.164 We're very much hoping you're enjoying yourselves. 01:15:10.184 --> 01:15:12.245 And just quickly tell us why Boxing Day is called Boxing Day? 01:15:13.366 --> 01:15:17.428 Because it's when traditionally the Pugilists have their celebration. 01:15:18.088 --> 01:15:18.369 Thanks. 01:15:19.429 --> 01:15:20.289 It's news time. 01:15:20.349 --> 01:15:25.932 Booker T and the MG's providing the soundtrack to our Boxing Day celebrations here at the Big British Castle. 01:15:26.813 --> 01:15:29.194 Here, let's have the fire roaring a little bit more, James. 01:15:29.234 --> 01:15:30.274 I can hardly feel the flames. 01:15:30.294 --> 01:15:30.674 There we go. 01:15:31.015 --> 01:15:40.299 You know, as genuine Australians who speak with completely authentic Australian accents, it's funny to think of Christmas in Britain or on the other side of the world where everything's all cold and chilly. 01:15:40.339 --> 01:15:40.559 It's true. 01:15:40.579 --> 01:15:42.440 Because of course, here in Oz, it's boiling hot. 01:15:42.700 --> 01:15:43.641 It's the middle of the summer. 01:15:43.901 --> 01:15:46.062 So our experience of Christmas is very different. 01:15:47.162 --> 01:15:52.484 My authentic Australian friend Adam, to give you a take on an authentic Australian Christmas. 01:15:52.805 --> 01:15:54.585 What's going on in the Antipodes right now? 01:15:54.605 --> 01:15:56.186 Oh mate, it's so hot. 01:15:56.386 --> 01:15:57.446 Do you know what I did today? 01:15:57.466 --> 01:15:59.447 I tell you what you did today. 01:15:59.587 --> 01:15:59.827 What? 01:15:59.967 --> 01:16:06.490 You put your whole Christmas dinner on the surfboard and your whole family went out to the sea and you had Christmas dinner on top of the surfy floater. 01:16:07.090 --> 01:16:10.151 Oh mate, it was amazing, the surfy floater. 01:16:10.492 --> 01:16:13.913 We decorated the whole of the floater and it was beautiful. 01:16:14.093 --> 01:16:20.095 But it was so ruddy hot, you had to wear top-to-toe wetsuits. 01:16:20.255 --> 01:16:20.975 Max Factor. 01:16:21.055 --> 01:16:22.115 Max Factor number 76. 01:16:22.916 --> 01:16:26.477 And we had a problem with the fairy lights, mate. 01:16:26.537 --> 01:16:30.438 Because he had to have such a long string to get all the way to the pluggie. 01:16:30.578 --> 01:16:33.038 Then you electrocuted all the flipping jellyfish. 01:16:33.098 --> 01:16:35.299 And we electrocuted a load of dolphins, mate. 01:16:35.439 --> 01:16:37.280 It was so uncool. 01:16:37.561 --> 01:16:39.422 Somebody's making a documentary about it. 01:16:39.902 --> 01:16:40.823 It was really bad. 01:16:41.023 --> 01:16:44.346 But luckily, when we got back, there was a load of tennis. 01:16:44.706 --> 01:16:47.928 Do you know that in Australia over Christmas, the sun never sets? 01:16:47.948 --> 01:16:49.930 Is that true, mate? 01:16:49.990 --> 01:16:51.190 Yeah, it's boiling hot. 01:16:51.551 --> 01:16:56.634 It's one long sunny day from about November to February in Australia. 01:16:56.654 --> 01:16:57.395 Do you know that? 01:16:57.795 --> 01:16:58.916 I did know that, mate. 01:16:59.276 --> 01:17:00.517 But now you've told it me again. 01:17:02.443 --> 01:17:03.064 You remembered it. 01:17:03.304 --> 01:17:06.207 Do you know the difference between this accent here, the Australian accent? 01:17:06.227 --> 01:17:09.950 Yeah, and the New Zealand accent. 01:17:10.030 --> 01:17:11.011 Oh, you're a New Zealand accent. 01:17:11.031 --> 01:17:12.172 Yeah, no, I won't dwell on that. 01:17:12.653 --> 01:17:18.578 Anyway, listen, we realise they're very poor Australian accents, but that was just a bit of fun because it's Boxing Day and anything goes. 01:17:18.638 --> 01:17:21.261 This is Adam and Jo on BBC6 Music coming to you. 01:17:21.741 --> 01:17:26.504 in a pre-recorded fashion from our little hut just outside the walls of the big British castle. 01:17:26.544 --> 01:17:27.885 We've got a lovely log fire going. 01:17:27.905 --> 01:17:31.067 We've been exchanging presents and there's still one more present to come. 01:17:31.507 --> 01:17:34.609 I've had all my presents from Adam and really my cup runneth over. 01:17:34.669 --> 01:17:37.671 I've had a a CD of Bob Dylan Christmas hits. 01:17:37.691 --> 01:17:38.772 We might hear one a bit later. 01:17:39.072 --> 01:17:42.574 I've had a brilliant novelty desktop toy that says one thing over and over again. 01:17:42.594 --> 01:17:45.656 An Ant and Dex biography. 01:17:46.036 --> 01:17:47.097 Ooh, what a lovely pair. 01:17:47.637 --> 01:17:51.879 And that title of that biography is a pun, actually, so have a little think about that. 01:17:51.899 --> 01:17:53.059 It refers to the Scruton. 01:17:54.260 --> 01:18:07.024 And Joe's given me, actually Joe's given me sort of humblingly, genuinely nice presence, a comic book about Oprah Winfrey, David Byrne's Bicycle Diaries, which I will treasure, seriously. 01:18:07.044 --> 01:18:10.486 And you've still got one lined up in the old present shoot. 01:18:10.706 --> 01:18:16.508 But speaking of bicycle diaries, you know, something happened to me as I was coming into the 01:18:17.328 --> 01:18:21.171 big British castle today that I wanted to talk to you about, nothing that exciting. 01:18:21.411 --> 01:18:32.560 I was chaining up me a bike, mate, and the bike racks, you know, because I forgot that David Byrne designed a whole series of bespoke bike racks for New York City, like in different shapes, crazy shapes and stuff. 01:18:33.460 --> 01:18:35.583 The shape of a car, the shape of an electric guitar. 01:18:35.643 --> 01:18:36.263 Wasting his time. 01:18:36.344 --> 01:18:37.985 So you can chain your bike up to those things. 01:18:38.045 --> 01:18:38.566 Quite cool. 01:18:38.946 --> 01:18:40.488 You don't get that in London town, do you? 01:18:40.768 --> 01:18:41.910 Thanks, Ken Livingstone! 01:18:41.930 --> 01:18:46.134 Not yet, but Boris Johnson is planning to bring the Paris scheme to London. 01:18:46.154 --> 01:18:48.297 No, he keeps saying he will, but there's no sign of it, yeah. 01:18:48.397 --> 01:18:52.061 It's all talk and no walk from Bojo, alright? 01:18:52.901 --> 01:18:55.543 That's just my personal opinion, not the opinion of the Big British Castle. 01:18:55.943 --> 01:19:01.366 But what I was doing was chaining up my bike, mate, and all the racks were used up. 01:19:01.446 --> 01:19:05.349 They were all full on the racks, so I had to go for a lamppost. 01:19:06.470 --> 01:19:11.833 In fact, it wasn't even a lamppost, it was just like a parking post, you know, with a parking sign on the top kind of thing. 01:19:12.673 --> 01:19:15.434 And this chap, he was an Italian chap, I think. 01:19:15.794 --> 01:19:18.575 He was just chaining up his bike quite close to mine. 01:19:18.815 --> 01:19:21.697 And when he saw me chaining up my bike, he said, oh, no, no, no, no. 01:19:21.717 --> 01:19:22.857 You should not put it there. 01:19:23.237 --> 01:19:23.817 They steal it. 01:19:23.857 --> 01:19:24.818 The thieves, they come along. 01:19:24.858 --> 01:19:28.159 They lift the whole bike right up off the top of the post. 01:19:28.179 --> 01:19:29.479 They take it. 01:19:29.840 --> 01:19:33.281 It was about nine foot high, this post. 01:19:33.301 --> 01:19:35.722 I really didn't think there was any serious danger of that happening. 01:19:36.102 --> 01:19:37.683 But this guy said, no, no, no. 01:19:37.703 --> 01:19:39.283 They lift it up. 01:19:39.363 --> 01:19:40.644 I'm six foot two. 01:19:40.764 --> 01:19:40.924 Yeah. 01:19:41.964 --> 01:19:43.146 With how long are my arms? 01:19:43.166 --> 01:19:45.448 Do you think two foot right three foot? 01:19:45.589 --> 01:19:46.309 That's nine foot. 01:19:46.530 --> 01:19:49.133 Is it I could probably get on that was taller than that then in that case. 01:19:49.173 --> 01:19:54.679 It was 15 or 500 foot Was too tall to fit in a photograph or a standard bath. 01:19:54.719 --> 01:19:55.440 I'm a manager off 01:19:58.764 --> 01:20:15.605 Anyway, so he was giving me this advice about where to park my bike, and I'd already decided in my mind that I was happy chaining it up to this post, and I didn't feel that the threat of theft was significant enough for me to look for somewhere else to park it. 01:20:15.945 --> 01:20:18.487 What do you do when you get advice from people on the street, though? 01:20:18.787 --> 01:20:21.188 I mean, actually, what I did in the end was I took his advice. 01:20:21.208 --> 01:20:24.470 He said, it's OK, I'm leaving now so you can use my space on the rack. 01:20:24.951 --> 01:20:25.371 So I did. 01:20:25.411 --> 01:20:25.991 I waited for him. 01:20:26.011 --> 01:20:29.874 But it was a little bit annoying because he took a while to unchain his bike and I was in a bit of a hurry. 01:20:29.894 --> 01:20:33.176 So I was like, I'm happy just training off on the post and everything. 01:20:33.436 --> 01:20:36.518 But because he'd given me the advice, I felt obliged to wait for him to go. 01:20:36.538 --> 01:20:37.558 But it was good advice. 01:20:38.219 --> 01:20:41.681 I mean, I think you were right to follow his advice and he was right to give you the advice. 01:20:41.881 --> 01:20:42.962 I don't like being told. 01:20:43.642 --> 01:20:45.903 Well, in that situation, you reacted well, didn't you? 01:20:45.943 --> 01:20:47.164 You decided to be told. 01:20:47.264 --> 01:20:47.864 Advice. 01:20:48.225 --> 01:20:48.565 Really? 01:20:49.425 --> 01:20:51.506 How are you with advice from strangers, though? 01:20:52.387 --> 01:20:54.448 Will you always follow it, or will you go, no, all right, mate, thanks. 01:20:54.468 --> 01:20:54.928 I don't know. 01:20:54.948 --> 01:20:56.189 It's too broad. 01:20:56.209 --> 01:20:56.389 Fine. 01:20:57.110 --> 01:21:00.551 I can't think of a specific incident. 01:21:00.631 --> 01:21:01.772 Advice from strangers. 01:21:03.633 --> 01:21:06.875 I don't like being told not to ride my bike on the pavement by the police. 01:21:06.895 --> 01:21:07.736 That's different though, isn't it? 01:21:07.816 --> 01:21:08.617 That's against the law. 01:21:08.637 --> 01:21:09.297 That's already a stranger. 01:21:09.397 --> 01:21:10.698 Advice from strangers. 01:21:10.718 --> 01:21:12.339 You're going to have to give me more prep time. 01:21:12.580 --> 01:21:15.462 Listen, I'll come back to you next Boxing Day. 01:21:15.522 --> 01:21:17.023 I'll give you another example. 01:21:17.123 --> 01:21:18.124 I'll give you another example. 01:21:18.524 --> 01:21:20.085 You're doing your shopping, right? 01:21:20.185 --> 01:21:21.186 You're in the supermarket. 01:21:22.347 --> 01:21:23.888 You pick out some fruit. 01:21:24.388 --> 01:21:26.870 A lady says, oh, no, no, no, you shouldn't have those. 01:21:27.310 --> 01:21:27.971 Try these. 01:21:28.271 --> 01:21:30.353 They're a little bit smaller, but they're a lot more juicy. 01:21:30.973 --> 01:21:31.613 What do you say? 01:21:31.673 --> 01:21:33.955 Like, no, I'm fine with this, just on your way. 01:21:33.975 --> 01:21:34.856 They're more juicy. 01:21:34.916 --> 01:21:35.216 Yeah. 01:21:36.657 --> 01:21:36.797 Mmm. 01:21:37.097 --> 01:21:37.878 Thanks, Miss. 01:21:38.238 --> 01:21:39.178 I love them then. 01:21:39.238 --> 01:21:40.659 And she's not pointing to fruit. 01:21:44.262 --> 01:21:47.064 I'm trying to help you out because you're sat there giving me nothing. 01:21:47.184 --> 01:21:49.705 All you're doing is saying, this is too broad. 01:21:49.825 --> 01:21:51.647 Think of an occasion. 01:21:52.287 --> 01:21:53.548 That's a good answer. 01:21:53.588 --> 01:21:54.528 That's too broad. 01:21:55.709 --> 01:21:56.790 Advice from strangers. 01:21:56.970 --> 01:21:58.990 Well, can you play a record and I'll have time to think? 01:21:59.171 --> 01:22:01.191 See, this is a case of the kind of thing Ant and Deck would never do. 01:22:01.211 --> 01:22:04.493 Do you think Ant would say to Deck, oh, I'm a celebrity, get me out of here? 01:22:05.053 --> 01:22:06.634 Or, no, this is too broad, Ant. 01:22:06.954 --> 01:22:08.634 You're gonna have to get back to me in the jungle next year. 01:22:08.654 --> 01:22:10.335 He'd call Nicky Appleton from the Spice Girls. 01:22:10.995 --> 01:22:13.977 What's he doing with Nicky Appleton who wasn't in the Spice Girls? 01:22:14.097 --> 01:22:14.697 Are you sure? 01:22:16.338 --> 01:22:19.239 Let's play some more music and after this, have a present. 01:22:19.579 --> 01:22:20.619 Hey, Nicky, it's Joe. 01:22:20.920 --> 01:22:21.540 How you doing? 01:22:22.148 --> 01:22:23.409 This is Devendra Bernhardt. 01:22:23.529 --> 01:22:28.892 Yeah, listen, Adam was asking... Devendra Bernhardt. 01:22:28.912 --> 01:22:30.473 I called him Devendra before, I think. 01:22:30.493 --> 01:22:33.194 That was 16th in Valencia Roxy Music. 01:22:33.214 --> 01:22:34.095 Do your little impression. 01:22:34.935 --> 01:22:37.897 Devendra Bernhardt. 01:22:37.917 --> 01:22:38.898 Thanks. 01:22:38.938 --> 01:22:40.519 Devendra Bernhardt. 01:22:40.599 --> 01:22:42.640 Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it. 01:22:42.660 --> 01:22:48.483 I used to be in Roxy Music and I could do this with my throat. 01:22:51.525 --> 01:22:51.946 You know what? 01:22:52.366 --> 01:23:03.259 My paper cup that we've been drinking booze out of is disintegrating so that the bottom is threatening just to come right off because the booze is soaked right the way through the base. 01:23:03.279 --> 01:23:04.861 My bottom's threatening to come right off. 01:23:04.881 --> 01:23:06.043 What the heck is that all about? 01:23:06.323 --> 01:23:07.525 What kind of paper cups are these? 01:23:07.865 --> 01:23:09.327 Big British Castle paper cups. 01:23:09.427 --> 01:23:11.109 This is Adam and Jo on BBC6 Music. 01:23:11.149 --> 01:23:12.230 Happy Boxing Day listeners. 01:23:12.251 --> 01:23:24.286 We're coming to you in a pre-recorded fashion from our little wooden shack just outside the walls of the castle and that crackling and snapping and popping you can hear is a lovely roaring log fire that we're keeping our cockles warm with. 01:23:25.487 --> 01:23:26.648 Isn't it nice? 01:23:27.028 --> 01:23:30.390 And we've been exchanging presents, because that's the traditional thing to do. 01:23:30.671 --> 01:23:33.833 We didn't see each other on Christmas Day, so we're doing our present exchanging today. 01:23:33.893 --> 01:23:36.374 Adam's already given me two top-notch presents. 01:23:36.434 --> 01:23:39.136 Ant and Dex Biog, a Bob Dylan Christmas songs album. 01:23:39.156 --> 01:23:40.057 In fact, he's given me three. 01:23:40.097 --> 01:23:41.598 I just forgot about the really bad one. 01:23:42.899 --> 01:23:44.120 Is that a rude thing to say? 01:23:44.160 --> 01:23:44.740 No, that's fine. 01:23:44.760 --> 01:23:45.240 No, it's fine. 01:23:45.280 --> 01:23:45.681 No, it's good. 01:23:45.721 --> 01:23:45.981 It's good. 01:23:46.021 --> 01:23:46.781 It's a button. 01:23:46.841 --> 01:23:48.903 You know what my alternative present was? 01:23:49.063 --> 01:23:49.263 What? 01:23:49.383 --> 01:23:52.585 Because in the end I gave you the executive toy, the button that says Easy. 01:23:52.605 --> 01:23:53.086 As opposed to... 01:23:55.687 --> 01:23:56.408 That was easy. 01:23:56.488 --> 01:23:57.368 That's what it says, right? 01:23:57.448 --> 01:24:05.132 Yeah, terrible as opposed to I was I actually was gonna be better I bought you a fairy sticker book. 01:24:05.512 --> 01:24:10.335 No I love sticking fairies. 01:24:10.475 --> 01:24:11.756 Well, exactly everyone does 01:24:12.396 --> 01:24:37.292 and you know we could have chatted about stickers and what it was like as a youngster to covet stickers yes what about those stickers that you'd collect and you had to get them all and they had an image on the sort of jigsaw image on the flip side these were the star wars stickers weren't they and you could make a big picture of all the guys in the cockpit of the millennium falcon off of the backing things oh no they were the cards actually i'm getting confused aren't they they were the collector's cards my life and i've been confused some stickers are very rare aren't they 01:24:37.412 --> 01:24:43.942 You know, what we used to do was send away to large companies and ask for their stickers. 01:24:43.962 --> 01:24:49.791 Like, we'd send away and we'd pretend that we were Formula One racing drivers and we wanted the stickers for our cars. 01:24:49.811 --> 01:24:50.612 That's a good angle. 01:24:51.053 --> 01:24:52.575 And obviously we were not. 01:24:52.595 --> 01:24:53.316 When you say we 01:24:53.576 --> 01:24:55.538 Me and my friends aged around ten. 01:24:55.738 --> 01:24:55.998 Right. 01:24:56.899 --> 01:25:03.285 And so we'd do these little scrawly ten-year-old letters to whoever it was, Duckums Oil, and say, did you ever win? 01:25:03.305 --> 01:25:06.688 Please, please, can we have some Duckums Oil stickers for our cars? 01:25:06.728 --> 01:25:08.770 We're Formula One racing drivers. 01:25:09.290 --> 01:25:16.233 And very nicely, they would almost always write back and send us loads of stickers and decals and stuff for the cast. 01:25:16.273 --> 01:25:17.013 My brother did that. 01:25:17.113 --> 01:25:18.514 He wrote to Rolls-Royce. 01:25:18.674 --> 01:25:18.994 Did he? 01:25:19.014 --> 01:25:22.095 Because he wanted a silver lady off the front of a Rolls-Royce. 01:25:22.155 --> 01:25:23.576 Whoa, he's aiming high. 01:25:23.696 --> 01:25:27.477 Well, he didn't get the silver lady, but he did get a metal RR plate. 01:25:27.757 --> 01:25:28.638 Whoa. 01:25:28.778 --> 01:25:29.598 I was very jealous. 01:25:29.958 --> 01:25:40.306 That's the thing, man, if you're charming, if you can be bothered to write a letter and have a little charm in that letter, this is going out to all the youngsters listening to this show, you can pretty much get what you want. 01:25:40.326 --> 01:25:41.267 All sorts of stuff, yeah. 01:25:41.287 --> 01:25:41.928 You really can. 01:25:41.948 --> 01:25:44.290 Be charming and make a bit of an effort with the letter. 01:25:44.310 --> 01:25:46.872 There was a book when we were kids called Fun for Free, do you remember that? 01:25:46.912 --> 01:25:48.313 I think it was a Puffin or Penguin book. 01:25:48.813 --> 01:25:56.355 And it had loads of addresses of companies that you could write off to to get stickers and promotional goodies that seemed like very valuable things to kids. 01:25:56.515 --> 01:25:56.795 Sure. 01:25:56.935 --> 01:25:58.335 I'm sure a similar book exists now. 01:25:58.435 --> 01:26:03.516 If you can be bothered to put pen to paper and be a little bit polite and you've got some manners, the world is your oyster. 01:26:03.676 --> 01:26:04.797 But not when we're concerned. 01:26:05.037 --> 01:26:05.597 No. 01:26:05.617 --> 01:26:06.557 We've got nothing to give. 01:26:06.577 --> 01:26:07.577 We're giving that nothing. 01:26:08.057 --> 01:26:11.258 So don't bother writing to us, because all you're getting is a slap. 01:26:12.458 --> 01:26:13.139 That's not true. 01:26:13.239 --> 01:26:15.000 Might get a little photo. 01:26:15.800 --> 01:26:18.562 Listen, here's my final present to Count Buckley's. 01:26:19.443 --> 01:26:20.483 I'm handing it over right now. 01:26:20.703 --> 01:26:21.504 Ah, now this. 01:26:22.044 --> 01:26:23.725 Give us an assessment of the wrapped gift. 01:26:23.765 --> 01:26:24.646 What do you think is in there? 01:26:24.726 --> 01:26:25.827 What are we looking at here? 01:26:26.127 --> 01:26:27.368 I initially thought it was a DVD. 01:26:28.228 --> 01:26:29.609 It's around those dimensions. 01:26:29.749 --> 01:26:30.850 My plan has worked. 01:26:31.070 --> 01:26:32.030 But what is it? 01:26:32.091 --> 01:26:35.333 Is it a DVD with crazy packaging or something, perhaps? 01:26:35.353 --> 01:26:38.675 Or is it a DVD wrapped in a card? 01:26:39.175 --> 01:26:41.977 I'm going to take off the packaging right now. 01:26:42.097 --> 01:26:44.559 Now, I'm experimenting with certain aspects of this gift. 01:26:45.439 --> 01:26:47.540 He has wrapped something around this. 01:26:47.580 --> 01:26:51.261 There is, I think, a DVD inside, but I'm gonna have a look at it now. 01:26:51.861 --> 01:26:53.062 It is a poster. 01:26:53.942 --> 01:26:55.943 Should I look at the DVD first or the poster first? 01:26:55.963 --> 01:26:56.703 Whatever you want. 01:26:57.003 --> 01:26:58.283 You look at the poster first. 01:26:58.984 --> 01:26:59.924 What the heckins? 01:27:03.105 --> 01:27:09.070 It is a NME Awards 2009 shockwaves poster featuring the kings of Leon. 01:27:10.071 --> 01:27:15.635 And it's number six of a limited edition set of six, which presumably you've got from the NME, right? 01:27:15.996 --> 01:27:17.257 Well, it was free in NME. 01:27:17.277 --> 01:27:18.638 Do you think that's wrong to give away? 01:27:20.293 --> 01:27:34.726 And that, it's a double whammy, that is covering a copy on DVD of the film Nuts, starring Barbara Streisand and Richard Dreyfus, or Dreyfus if you prefer. 01:27:35.766 --> 01:27:37.567 Here's the synopsis of the film, Nuts. 01:27:38.107 --> 01:27:39.648 On the back, the pending case. 01:27:40.028 --> 01:27:43.149 The people of the state of New York versus Claudia Draper. 01:27:43.309 --> 01:27:46.691 The issue is Claudia mentally competent to stand trial. 01:27:47.111 --> 01:27:52.673 Sure, she's shocking, outspoken, explosive, defiant, but is she NUTS? 01:27:57.296 --> 01:27:59.817 More to the point, who cares? 01:28:00.918 --> 01:28:02.679 Well, did you say that or was that on the back? 01:28:02.939 --> 01:28:04.060 No, it's not on the back. 01:28:04.120 --> 01:28:04.981 It's a great film, Nuts. 01:28:05.001 --> 01:28:05.781 Who's it directed by? 01:28:05.801 --> 01:28:07.602 Who is directed by? 01:28:07.642 --> 01:28:13.086 Of course, Nuts has a different, it doesn't really have the same connotation in America than it does in Britain. 01:28:13.226 --> 01:28:14.607 No, this is nuts as in crazy. 01:28:14.707 --> 01:28:14.968 Yeah. 01:28:15.268 --> 01:28:17.390 It's directed by... I don't know. 01:28:17.430 --> 01:28:18.370 Who is it directed by? 01:28:18.450 --> 01:28:19.952 It's someone quite big league, isn't it? 01:28:20.192 --> 01:28:21.853 Martin... Martin Ritz. 01:28:21.913 --> 01:28:23.695 No, he must have done something. 01:28:24.115 --> 01:28:24.916 Have you seen nuts? 01:28:25.096 --> 01:28:26.197 I don't think I've ever seen nuts. 01:28:26.217 --> 01:28:27.278 Of course you haven't seen nuts. 01:28:27.518 --> 01:28:28.739 But that's a good caster, isn't it? 01:28:28.799 --> 01:28:29.820 Dreyfuss and Streisand. 01:28:29.900 --> 01:28:30.641 Surely it's good. 01:28:30.741 --> 01:28:32.102 Look at Streisand on the front there. 01:28:32.142 --> 01:28:32.763 She's nuts. 01:28:33.123 --> 01:28:33.923 Absolutely nuts. 01:28:35.845 --> 01:28:38.127 He's a weird actor, isn't he, Richard Dreyfus? 01:28:38.147 --> 01:28:44.512 He can really turn his hand to some quite bizarre substandard material when he... Kippendorf's tribe, Mr. Holland's Opus. 01:28:46.033 --> 01:28:48.996 You know, Mr. Holland's Opus is one of Andrew Collins's favourite films. 01:28:49.096 --> 01:28:49.616 It isn't. 01:28:49.656 --> 01:28:53.780 Yeah, he's written some very moving essays about how much he loves that film. 01:28:53.820 --> 01:28:54.480 He's insane. 01:28:55.661 --> 01:28:59.645 But everyone has a film like that, you know, which is hard to... Yeah, mine's Kippendorf's tribe. 01:28:59.705 --> 01:29:00.025 Is it? 01:29:00.185 --> 01:29:04.248 I like the scene where the family gather round with a block of wood and an axe and circumcise the sun. 01:29:06.871 --> 01:29:08.993 That's a good Christmas movie, it sounds like. 01:29:09.814 --> 01:29:11.815 I've got a soft spot for Holland's Opus. 01:29:11.876 --> 01:29:12.796 I agree with Andrew Collins. 01:29:12.816 --> 01:29:12.997 Do you? 01:29:13.417 --> 01:29:17.801 I like the bit where his son gives him a sign language version of Imagined by John Lennon. 01:29:18.021 --> 01:29:18.302 Really? 01:29:18.642 --> 01:29:20.203 Maybe I'm poo-pooing it unnecessarily. 01:29:20.223 --> 01:29:21.124 Maybe it's a masterpiece. 01:29:21.144 --> 01:29:21.765 Back off with a poo-poo. 01:29:21.785 --> 01:29:22.646 I did see it at the cinema. 01:29:23.326 --> 01:29:25.869 I mean, it's very handsomely made, I seem to remember. 01:29:25.889 --> 01:29:26.589 Sure, sure. 01:29:27.390 --> 01:29:32.375 It's one of those films, though, a little bit like, er... What am I thinking of? 01:29:32.435 --> 01:29:34.256 Totally over-sentimental gush-fest. 01:29:34.877 --> 01:29:36.598 Usually they have Robin Williams in them, you know? 01:29:37.479 --> 01:29:38.920 It's not as bad as Patch Adams. 01:29:39.241 --> 01:29:39.541 Right. 01:29:39.741 --> 01:29:42.003 Bicentennial Man, is it as good as that? 01:29:42.304 --> 01:29:43.425 That's an interesting one, isn't it? 01:29:43.725 --> 01:29:44.766 Bicentennial Man. 01:29:44.786 --> 01:29:45.567 Is it as good as Sim 1? 01:29:46.747 --> 01:29:48.068 Are you happy with that present, though? 01:29:48.108 --> 01:29:48.848 That's a double. 01:29:48.888 --> 01:29:51.929 That's Barbara Streisand's nuts on DVD. 01:29:52.590 --> 01:29:56.051 Is that fair enough to give away as a present something that came free with the magazine? 01:29:56.291 --> 01:29:56.871 Yes. 01:29:56.971 --> 01:29:57.311 Yeah? 01:29:57.331 --> 01:29:58.632 Because it's the thought that counts. 01:29:58.832 --> 01:29:59.392 It's really great. 01:29:59.432 --> 01:30:07.495 Anyone who assesses their presents by pure commercial value is a cold-hearted, Scrooge-like, non-Christmas person. 01:30:07.555 --> 01:30:07.795 Sure. 01:30:08.136 --> 01:30:09.116 I love the Kings of Leon. 01:30:09.996 --> 01:30:12.257 I will actually watch nuts as well as the other thing. 01:30:12.277 --> 01:30:14.158 What will you do with that Kings of Leon poster? 01:30:14.738 --> 01:30:17.799 Maybe offer it to my sons to put on their wall. 01:30:17.819 --> 01:30:18.739 They're very hip band. 01:30:18.859 --> 01:30:21.620 Well it'd be kind of cool because at the moment they just got Ben 10 posts isn't it? 01:30:21.640 --> 01:30:21.840 Right. 01:30:22.240 --> 01:30:26.582 So it'd be quite good to step it up to the... Kings of Leon, yeah yeah yeah yeah, impress their friends. 01:30:26.702 --> 01:30:27.262 Exactly. 01:30:27.362 --> 01:30:29.323 They talk about sex being on fire. 01:30:29.563 --> 01:30:30.763 I know, how outrageous is that? 01:30:30.783 --> 01:30:31.383 That's racy. 01:30:31.523 --> 01:30:32.023 That is racy. 01:30:32.083 --> 01:30:33.064 Certainly for the under 10s. 01:30:33.324 --> 01:30:33.784 Woo hoo! 01:30:34.264 --> 01:30:35.644 Gonna have another sip of my tinny mate. 01:30:36.245 --> 01:30:36.945 Good idea mate. 01:30:37.345 --> 01:30:40.086 So that's the present giving over, it's a bit disappointing isn't it? 01:30:40.106 --> 01:30:40.446 Do you think 01:30:40.686 --> 01:30:44.607 And we never even said, the final present. 01:30:45.147 --> 01:30:48.408 That's a bit of appropriation there that everybody does. 01:30:48.468 --> 01:30:58.491 As soon as the word the final anything is mentioned, the phrase the final blah blah blah, you have to sing the final pizza or the final, whatever it is. 01:30:58.991 --> 01:31:02.392 Do you think that everything is better wrapped in paper with a ribbon around it? 01:31:03.832 --> 01:31:08.294 Do you think if everything in the world was wrapped in paper with a ribbon around it, people, vehicles, buildings? 01:31:08.554 --> 01:31:10.294 If I asked that question, you would. 01:31:10.494 --> 01:31:12.155 What, you mean like Christo, the artist? 01:31:12.195 --> 01:31:13.455 Yeah. 01:31:14.236 --> 01:31:14.436 No. 01:31:15.236 --> 01:31:15.496 No. 01:31:16.056 --> 01:31:16.616 Can we move on? 01:31:17.076 --> 01:31:17.357 Sure. 01:31:17.597 --> 01:31:18.417 What were you getting at then? 01:31:18.437 --> 01:31:19.217 I'm getting at presents. 01:31:19.257 --> 01:31:22.318 Are they more exciting before they're wrapped or after they're wrapped? 01:31:22.458 --> 01:31:25.179 Is the very act of wrapping something, does it make it extra exciting? 01:31:25.299 --> 01:31:26.280 Of course it does. 01:31:26.320 --> 01:31:27.802 What kind of question is that? 01:31:28.462 --> 01:31:32.106 It's like the difference between a scantily clad woman and a nude woman. 01:31:32.567 --> 01:31:35.710 The scantily clad woman is infinitely more tantalizing. 01:31:35.770 --> 01:31:37.092 We say this every year, don't we? 01:31:37.132 --> 01:31:38.573 Because it's eroticizing it, yeah. 01:31:38.773 --> 01:31:40.435 I think we do pretty much say this every year. 01:31:40.455 --> 01:31:42.057 This Christmas show is more or less the same every year. 01:31:42.097 --> 01:31:45.721 We drink a little bit too much and we just talk complete rubbish in a similar way. 01:31:46.121 --> 01:31:48.222 and we have Booker T and the MG's on in the background. 01:31:48.462 --> 01:31:51.542 Although they've faded out a little bit, but let's not worry about that. 01:31:51.642 --> 01:31:52.863 Oh, they're back again. 01:31:53.283 --> 01:31:54.483 Here's a Christmasy track. 01:31:54.943 --> 01:31:56.764 This is Radiohead with Karma Police. 01:31:57.944 --> 01:31:59.924 Well, folks, we have run out of time. 01:31:59.964 --> 01:32:00.765 Can you believe it? 01:32:01.365 --> 01:32:05.066 Boxing Day is nearly over for us here at the Big British Castle. 01:32:05.486 --> 01:32:07.806 Thanks very much for listening if you've listened to the whole show. 01:32:08.486 --> 01:32:11.067 Thanks very much for listening if you've listened to part of the show. 01:32:11.307 --> 01:32:15.552 Also, Boxing Day isn't over at the Big British Castle, because obviously it's like just the middle of the day. 01:32:15.872 --> 01:32:20.317 And if you stick around, you will be hearing John Harris with his extraordinary programme. 01:32:20.637 --> 01:32:25.782 Fantastic and funny anecdotes all about the world of rock and roll coming your way, courtesy of Mr Harris. 01:32:26.423 --> 01:32:27.824 He is a provocative young man. 01:32:27.864 --> 01:32:33.070 He appears on Radio 4's culture programme with Mark Lawson every now and again. 01:32:33.850 --> 01:32:35.731 And... Does he say very contrary things? 01:32:35.852 --> 01:32:36.492 Sometimes he does. 01:32:36.512 --> 01:32:38.913 He's a bit wilfully... He's a bit of a wilful contrarian. 01:32:38.933 --> 01:32:39.254 That's good. 01:32:39.274 --> 01:32:40.815 That's fun to have someone like that around. 01:32:40.875 --> 01:32:41.375 I love it. 01:32:41.475 --> 01:32:42.656 They keep the party popping. 01:32:42.836 --> 01:32:45.978 But I feel intimidated by him because he's very politically well informed as well. 01:32:46.058 --> 01:32:46.418 Right. 01:32:47.099 --> 01:32:49.760 You know, he's having his cake and eat it in rather a frustrating and annoying way. 01:32:49.960 --> 01:32:51.121 Well, he's just being good. 01:32:51.161 --> 01:32:51.501 Yeah. 01:32:51.661 --> 01:32:52.962 I might stick around and punch him in the face. 01:32:52.982 --> 01:32:53.442 Do that. 01:32:53.462 --> 01:32:54.343 I'd like to watch this. 01:32:54.443 --> 01:32:55.904 I've had too much to drink. 01:32:55.944 --> 01:33:04.210 Hey, and Adam and I should say thank you to every listener to our waffle over the year who's contributed or sent in stuff or emailed us and texted us. 01:33:04.290 --> 01:33:06.192 We really rely on all your contributions. 01:33:06.532 --> 01:33:10.435 As you can see, we're pretty much at sea when we don't have any, as the last three hours will have illustrated. 01:33:10.455 --> 01:33:12.056 Yeah, it all goes to little woolly, doesn't it? 01:33:12.236 --> 01:33:16.880 But a merry, a heartfelt merry Christmas and a happy new year to every single listener. 01:33:17.760 --> 01:33:18.321 Who cares? 01:33:18.921 --> 01:33:41.034 I agree with Joe what he just said I sincerely do you know I'm really gonna miss you listeners and I can't wait to be back with you here on BBC six music I hope it's not too long until that day comes but have a wonderful rest of your happy season and a wonderful new year hope it brings everything you want it to bring take care of yourselves I love you bye bye bye thanks for listening