WEBVTT 00:00.329 --> 00:03.314 Hello and welcome to the Big British Castle. 00:03.474 --> 00:07.039 It's time for Adam and Jo to broadcast on the radio. 00:07.299 --> 00:09.883 There'll be some music and some random talking in there. 00:15.579 --> 00:17.201 I'm Professor Yaffle. 00:17.381 --> 00:20.264 That was Brother Ray Charles there with Shaker Tail Feather. 00:20.284 --> 00:21.186 I call him Brother Ray. 00:21.566 --> 00:22.227 Yeah, that's good. 00:22.267 --> 00:24.049 You're such a keen churchgoer. 00:24.109 --> 00:24.830 We're very tight. 00:25.631 --> 00:29.956 And it's nice to be with you listeners on this cold and frosty morning. 00:30.276 --> 00:30.917 Hi, I'm Adam. 00:31.197 --> 00:31.778 Hey, I'm Joe. 00:31.818 --> 00:35.762 Welcome to our Ultimate Pen live show here at the BBC. 00:36.143 --> 00:37.284 It's our penultimate show. 00:37.504 --> 00:38.245 It's our penultimate show. 00:38.285 --> 00:40.848 It's our last live show for a while. 00:40.988 --> 00:41.649 It's very exciting. 00:41.689 --> 00:44.212 We're here with you live until 1 p.m. 00:44.512 --> 00:44.673 Yeah. 00:44.773 --> 00:47.296 And we've got all sorts of stuff and nonsense. 00:47.316 --> 00:51.060 We have got a big overloaded sack of goodies for you. 00:51.320 --> 01:00.042 If you've been missing a little invasive, stinky dog that comes into the studio, we might be focusing quite, you know, in quite a sustained way on that dog. 01:00.182 --> 01:02.043 We got a song wars for you, in fact, don't we? 01:02.063 --> 01:02.343 We do. 01:02.423 --> 01:02.683 Kind of. 01:02.703 --> 01:04.103 Well, it's a non-competitive song wars. 01:04.123 --> 01:04.483 Exactly. 01:04.763 --> 01:05.584 Christmas song wars. 01:05.624 --> 01:07.104 Yeah, it's like Pipes of Peace. 01:07.504 --> 01:08.124 That's right. 01:08.184 --> 01:09.345 When they had a little footy game. 01:09.365 --> 01:10.485 With a little foot match. 01:10.985 --> 01:12.527 How would you describe that? 01:12.547 --> 01:14.309 It's not a song war. 01:14.990 --> 01:16.172 It's a song truce. 01:16.372 --> 01:17.794 It's a song armistice, right. 01:18.335 --> 01:25.524 I mean, what would happen, though, if like back in the trenches they had the little footy game and then some yobs got on the pitch? 01:28.168 --> 01:35.198 A fight broke out, you know, and the British team, the fans ruined it for the match. 01:35.338 --> 01:38.223 And people started using the weapons they were using for the proper war. 01:38.403 --> 01:38.723 Yeah. 01:39.104 --> 01:42.028 But just after shooting people going, I don't mean it. 01:42.594 --> 01:44.075 And then Danny Dyer turns up. 01:44.335 --> 01:46.637 He steams in there, all steaming in. 01:46.937 --> 01:49.899 And he got steaming in like with the Germans and then with the British as well. 01:49.919 --> 01:51.480 He don't care, he's steaming in. 01:51.941 --> 01:53.022 No, nah, boo. 01:53.082 --> 01:58.125 That would be typical of football, hooliganism and violence, always ruining the game. 01:58.305 --> 02:00.127 It would ruin the whole war though as well. 02:00.147 --> 02:03.849 I mean, the stench would absolutely pollute the rest of the jolly good war. 02:04.750 --> 02:06.370 Well, thank God it's just a fantasy. 02:06.390 --> 02:09.811 Thank goodness it didn't happen, because the chaps kept their end up. 02:10.111 --> 02:18.873 Listen, I went to wash my hands after visiting the little man's room just before the show, and then I dried them on the paper towels in there. 02:19.234 --> 02:20.354 They smell of vomit. 02:21.354 --> 02:23.535 The paper towels just smell of puke. 02:23.555 --> 02:24.355 Have you noticed that? 02:25.355 --> 02:25.955 What? 02:25.995 --> 02:27.496 A sort of scent they've permeated. 02:27.696 --> 02:28.176 I don't know. 02:28.516 --> 02:32.917 I don't know if it's deliberately puke scented, but it's strong and lingering. 02:33.897 --> 02:34.978 You know what I'm going to have to do? 02:35.018 --> 02:36.538 I'm going to have to use some hand cream. 02:36.578 --> 02:36.919 Do that. 02:36.959 --> 02:38.379 Put some hand sanitizer on. 02:38.499 --> 02:39.360 Put some hand cream. 02:39.380 --> 02:40.801 Hand cream will just rub the stink in. 02:41.581 --> 02:44.743 Let's talk about that more while we have a little bit of music. 02:44.783 --> 02:45.563 What's this song? 02:45.943 --> 02:48.565 Christmas Baby Please Come Home by Slow Club. 02:48.625 --> 02:49.245 Is that what it is? 02:49.685 --> 02:53.627 They're a folk rock duo from Sheffield, England. 02:54.248 --> 02:55.248 My mouth's just warming up. 02:55.308 --> 02:55.948 I cycled in. 02:56.169 --> 02:56.489 Did you? 02:56.709 --> 02:58.009 I've got icicles on my nose. 02:58.390 --> 03:00.371 The tops of my ears are nearly coming off. 03:00.391 --> 03:01.311 I need to defrost a little. 03:01.851 --> 03:02.672 This is Slow Club. 03:02.952 --> 03:06.234 There you go, Slow Club, and there's a picture of them on our info sheet here. 03:07.094 --> 03:09.896 The guy, it's two people, a man and a lady. 03:10.376 --> 03:12.578 The man looks a little bit like Ross from Friends. 03:13.158 --> 03:13.618 Little bit. 03:13.658 --> 03:15.880 And the lady looks a little bit like Phoebe from Friends. 03:16.320 --> 03:18.181 And they're sat in just their front room. 03:18.541 --> 03:20.903 It looks like a sort of slightly retro front room, doesn't it? 03:20.943 --> 03:22.684 They've got an old style heater there. 03:23.664 --> 03:25.285 Looks a little bit sixties. 03:25.666 --> 03:26.566 Fifties, sixties. 03:26.647 --> 03:27.847 I don't know, but that was nice, wasn't it? 03:27.908 --> 03:32.331 It was a cover of Darlene Love's Christmas Classic, which was penned by Phil Spector. 03:32.351 --> 03:33.572 There's some info for you, Adam. 03:33.852 --> 03:34.252 Very nice. 03:34.433 --> 03:37.515 And I was just slapping my face there, listeners, to try and get myself awake. 03:37.855 --> 03:39.417 Because I was feeling a little bit sluggish. 03:39.497 --> 03:40.577 I was slapping my own face. 03:40.597 --> 03:41.238 Do you ever do that? 03:41.638 --> 03:42.259 I don't do it. 03:42.559 --> 03:45.621 It's like when you tickle yourself and it's... one doesn't react. 03:45.862 --> 03:46.062 Yeah. 03:46.382 --> 03:49.264 As hard as I can slap myself, it doesn't really feel that... Do you want me to slap you? 03:49.284 --> 03:51.306 Well, I was thinking, because that would really hurt, wouldn't it? 03:51.326 --> 03:52.367 I mean, that would shock me. 03:52.967 --> 03:55.548 But you can't really get the same effect when you slap yourself. 03:55.628 --> 03:57.568 It's because somewhere deep down one holds back. 03:57.808 --> 03:58.088 Yeah. 03:58.348 --> 03:58.828 Don't you think? 03:58.848 --> 03:59.848 Yeah, of course, of course. 03:59.868 --> 04:03.909 Do you think you could actually give yourself a really shocking, surprising slap in the face? 04:03.989 --> 04:04.349 Probably. 04:04.389 --> 04:05.930 Probably the jackass guys could do that. 04:05.950 --> 04:06.490 Yeah. 04:06.510 --> 04:07.010 Don't you reckon? 04:07.270 --> 04:09.690 And what were you saying there when you saw me slapping my face? 04:09.750 --> 04:12.971 Well, that my wife sometimes does it when she's driving along the motorway. 04:13.071 --> 04:15.171 To try and keep herself desperately awake. 04:15.191 --> 04:15.291 Yeah. 04:15.311 --> 04:16.812 While she's driving at high speeds. 04:16.972 --> 04:18.492 Exactly, with our family in the back. 04:18.872 --> 04:19.993 That's not very relaxing. 04:20.033 --> 04:21.714 And I say to her like, don't do that. 04:21.754 --> 04:25.337 That's not inspiring confidence in the passengers there. 04:25.397 --> 04:28.019 What if she slapped herself too hard and slapped herself unconscious? 04:28.039 --> 04:33.624 Do you ever have fantasies when you're driving in the car about what would happen if the driver lost control? 04:33.664 --> 04:33.944 Yeah. 04:34.104 --> 04:37.567 Do you ever go through the, you know, the basic actions you take? 04:37.947 --> 04:38.648 What do you do first? 04:38.668 --> 04:39.969 You reach across to the wheel? 04:40.009 --> 04:42.191 Handbrake and wheel would be my thing. 04:42.311 --> 04:43.852 Handbrake you're going to go for on the motorway? 04:43.872 --> 04:45.354 Well, how do you get to the footbrake? 04:46.375 --> 04:48.917 Push their lifeless leg down. 04:48.937 --> 04:50.218 What if it slips off the thing? 04:50.358 --> 04:51.359 And goes onto the accelerator. 04:51.419 --> 04:55.623 I mean, the way to avoid that is to do like Short Round does in Temple of Doom. 04:56.043 --> 04:58.185 Well, actually, he just ties a box to his foot, doesn't he? 04:58.205 --> 04:59.346 So he can reach the pedal. 04:59.366 --> 05:01.088 But if you tied your wife's foot to the pedal, 05:01.628 --> 05:06.990 to the brake, then you guarantee simply by depressing the knee, you could gain control of the brake. 05:07.130 --> 05:09.011 That wouldn't be the only thing that was depressed at that point. 05:09.431 --> 05:12.673 What about just tying a... Come on, come on! 05:13.093 --> 05:18.435 What about just tying a box to your foot as a matter of course before you get into a car as a passenger? 05:19.115 --> 05:22.557 That's a good idea, so you can quickly swing your foot over the gear stick. 05:22.577 --> 05:23.717 That should be in the highway code. 05:24.177 --> 05:27.319 The other way to go is to... Hold onto your potatoes, Dr. Jones! 05:28.599 --> 05:37.041 Grab onto the steering wheel with your left hand, say, and with your right hand reach under and push down on the brake to slow the car down. 05:37.061 --> 05:38.742 I mean, that's a risky strategy. 05:39.082 --> 05:42.583 Some people have been in this situation when you watch the Pride of Britain Awards. 05:43.243 --> 05:44.324 Most of the kids have done that. 05:44.344 --> 05:46.944 A lot of kids have to do that when their dads pass out. 05:46.984 --> 05:49.545 I've seen very moving stories about that kind of thing, haven't you? 05:50.465 --> 05:52.786 Little kids saving their parents when they drop off at the wheel. 05:53.146 --> 05:53.286 Yes. 05:53.346 --> 05:53.987 Is this festive? 05:54.447 --> 05:55.127 It is, yeah. 05:55.147 --> 05:55.828 It's a festive combo. 05:55.848 --> 05:56.448 That's what it's all about. 05:56.468 --> 05:58.389 Hey listen, we should get into Black Squadron listeners. 05:58.429 --> 06:01.271 Black Squadron are the slightly less elite listening force. 06:01.311 --> 06:03.292 You are very... That listen to this programme. 06:03.352 --> 06:06.714 Well we can't belittle the achievements of the original Black Squadron. 06:06.774 --> 06:06.975 Right. 06:07.315 --> 06:08.135 Hardcore Squadron. 06:08.155 --> 06:09.036 They were up at nine. 06:09.216 --> 06:10.357 But these are the same people. 06:10.377 --> 06:14.819 Yeah but they're the same people who've had about an hour's more kit. 06:14.980 --> 06:15.300 Okay. 06:15.560 --> 06:17.541 Well not kit but they just haven't been focusing. 06:17.641 --> 06:18.702 Well here's your jingle squadron. 06:23.223 --> 06:42.326 Always catch the beginning of the show Flack squadron don't wanna miss a thing That's not the one, black squadron roll Went to bed at a reasonable hour Gotta be sharp on Saturday morning That's the secret of the squadron's power 06:45.714 --> 06:47.416 And yeah, we're going to issue a command in a second. 06:48.136 --> 07:04.591 The idea is that we issue a command, a sort of verbal theme, and we'd like you to take a photo on that verbal theme and send it to us at 64046, or email it to us, Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk, and then your pictures will go up on our blog on the website. 07:04.631 --> 07:05.672 I mean, that's good enough, isn't it? 07:05.692 --> 07:06.072 It's great. 07:06.092 --> 07:07.213 It's an amazing reward. 07:07.273 --> 07:09.255 And last week's response was a little bit... 07:10.396 --> 07:10.957 What's the word? 07:10.977 --> 07:13.480 Well, not amazingly impressive, comparatively speaking. 07:13.500 --> 07:16.002 It was just, it was...whelming rather than overwhelming. 07:16.022 --> 07:18.926 Yeah, we got about a hundred photos on the blog there. 07:19.026 --> 07:20.768 We usually get about a hundred and fifty. 07:21.028 --> 07:23.731 So I think that was because the command was a bit confusing. 07:23.771 --> 07:27.195 It was prehistoric life and it maybe wasn't specific enough. 07:27.735 --> 07:34.161 This week we focus-grouped our Black Squadron command and it's very specific and you'll know exactly what to do when you hear it. 07:34.581 --> 07:42.228 So stand by those cameras and are we going to have some... Oh, I tell you what, the other thing I should say is, texts will be charged at your standard message rate. 07:42.288 --> 07:42.948 Thank you, Dermot. 07:44.409 --> 07:49.794 We want a record-breaking response, Squadron, because it almost sounded like you went into the Queen there for a moment. 07:50.695 --> 07:55.138 We want a lara, lara, record-breaking, responsible on the bed. 07:56.099 --> 07:57.902 Oh, that sounded like you did go into her. 07:57.942 --> 07:58.883 That sounded just like her. 07:59.784 --> 08:01.186 That was a lot like it, wasn't it? 08:01.226 --> 08:02.447 That was weird. 08:02.748 --> 08:03.869 I can do a good Queen impression. 08:03.929 --> 08:04.490 What can I tell you? 08:05.070 --> 08:07.393 We want a record-breaking response, right? 08:07.433 --> 08:11.138 Because it's the last live Black Squadron command for a little while. 08:12.439 --> 08:14.740 So, and it's a nice seasonal one as well. 08:15.081 --> 08:18.582 And also, I have a free play coming up as soon as Joe issues the command. 08:19.103 --> 08:22.725 It's the first of my favorite free play choices. 08:22.785 --> 08:26.407 Like, my favorite songs that I have played as free plays over the last couple of years. 08:26.467 --> 08:26.767 Nice. 08:26.947 --> 08:33.190 And this one is going to be by Spoon, and it's called, appropriately enough, Black Like Me, from their album, Gaga. 08:33.210 --> 08:34.011 Terrific. 08:34.811 --> 08:36.972 So, Black Squadron, stand by for your command. 08:37.553 --> 08:38.513 Here we go, Black Squadron. 08:38.553 --> 08:41.195 Your command this week is, human Christmas tree. 08:41.875 --> 08:43.816 Jackie's are running around shouting in the background. 08:44.676 --> 08:50.959 I don't know, I'm having a look at the Black Squadron photos and there's some terrific interpretations of the command which was human Christmas tree. 08:51.379 --> 08:54.380 There's a guy here, he's obviously got, what's he done there? 08:54.420 --> 08:59.983 Has he got two Christmas trees or has he actually chopped his Christmas tree in two for the sake of the command? 09:00.643 --> 09:02.865 because there's sort of a Christmas tree that goes up to headlight. 09:02.885 --> 09:03.606 You know what he's done? 09:03.726 --> 09:07.489 He's got a artificial Christmas tree that comes in sections. 09:07.769 --> 09:10.492 Ah, and he's detached the top section and inserted his head. 09:11.012 --> 09:11.412 Quite right. 09:11.452 --> 09:14.775 So it looks as if he's part of a Christmas tree and put a hat on top. 09:14.835 --> 09:15.556 That's very good. 09:16.197 --> 09:18.959 I mean, there's all sorts of very effective interpretations here. 09:19.439 --> 09:21.241 She's just wrapped some beads around her. 09:21.281 --> 09:21.942 What's her name? 09:22.502 --> 09:23.843 Her name is DSC 00041. 09:25.925 --> 09:29.828 There's a, um, apparently nude lady as well with a bit of tinsel tape around. 09:29.848 --> 09:31.029 Oh, there's another one! 09:31.489 --> 09:32.350 Oh, looks a little bit young. 09:32.410 --> 09:36.332 What about that one? 09:36.372 --> 09:39.795 He's just inserted a bauble into his mouth and two other baubles in the eyes. 09:40.095 --> 09:40.475 He looks weird. 09:40.495 --> 09:41.476 This is very inventive. 09:41.496 --> 09:42.156 What's his name? 09:42.357 --> 09:43.137 Uncle Zaki. 09:43.437 --> 09:44.018 That's good stuff. 09:44.218 --> 09:48.321 We should keep the black squadron lines open a little longer than normal, don't you think? 09:48.661 --> 09:52.284 I think so, certainly because we're getting a certain amount of topless photos here. 09:53.024 --> 09:55.247 with tinsel over the private bits. 09:55.707 --> 10:00.293 So, yeah, let's keep the gates open. 10:00.793 --> 10:08.162 Let's keep it open until at least 10 o'clock today, okay, Black Squadron, so you can continue to take photographs of yourselves as human Christmas trees. 10:08.182 --> 10:10.124 I mean, that's not the actual reason we're going to keep it open. 10:10.144 --> 10:12.927 Obviously, it's not a prurient... 10:14.028 --> 10:18.031 Reason that we're doing it, we're doing it for fun in the name of fun. 10:18.292 --> 10:19.793 Now listen, it's nearly Christmas. 10:20.213 --> 10:21.054 This is kind of art. 10:21.094 --> 10:24.977 We've got a Christmas pre-record that's going out next week at this time. 10:25.298 --> 10:27.319 Do you think Christmas pre-records are acceptable? 10:27.379 --> 10:36.307 Like my lady partner was watching Jamie Oliver's Festive Family Feast on telly and I was watching it, I was thinking, well this was no doubt filmed in October. 10:37.027 --> 10:41.689 They were having all the fireworks and stuff, but there were plenty of leaves on the trees when they went outside. 10:41.729 --> 10:42.949 It clearly wasn't Christmas. 10:43.489 --> 10:53.713 So you just got the impression that Jamie and his extended family had been written large checks by Channel 4 to just turn up at a big house in October and have a pretend Christmas party. 10:54.273 --> 10:56.714 Do you know it felt a little bit weird? 10:56.774 --> 10:59.475 That's the reality of TV production though, Jobo. 10:59.915 --> 11:04.017 It's lies and the British public won't stand for lies in the media anymore. 11:04.137 --> 11:04.697 That's true. 11:04.897 --> 11:08.839 I think there should be an outrage about Jamie's pre-recorded Christmas fast. 11:08.979 --> 11:13.141 Well, they should declare at the beginning of the programme, this programme was recorded in midsummer. 11:13.281 --> 11:14.861 Yeah, that kind of thing. 11:14.941 --> 11:17.182 I mean, maybe it wasn't, it might have been recorded just a few weeks ago. 11:17.322 --> 11:21.624 Our Christmas pre-record was recorded a couple of weeks ago, so it was a wintery affair. 11:21.764 --> 11:22.004 Yeah. 11:22.305 --> 11:25.326 And we, I mean, I use the word a couple. 11:26.166 --> 11:27.127 A wintery affair? 11:27.387 --> 11:28.408 Yeah, it was wintery. 11:28.748 --> 11:33.311 We warmed our cockles with alcohol and exchanged... That's one of my favourite Jilly Cooper novels. 11:33.531 --> 11:35.472 Presents, warmed my cockles with alcohol. 11:35.513 --> 11:36.613 No, a wintery affair. 11:38.454 --> 11:44.058 But our producer, James, has got little presents for us on our desks this morning as we come in. 11:44.078 --> 11:45.119 I mean, I feel bad, James. 11:45.139 --> 11:45.779 I haven't got you anything. 11:45.799 --> 11:46.340 Do you want a grape? 11:47.240 --> 11:48.500 Well, here's a rubber ball. 11:49.001 --> 11:49.661 It's bouncy. 11:50.061 --> 11:50.421 Come on. 11:50.801 --> 11:51.661 Ball in a bouncy ball. 11:51.681 --> 11:52.742 So we're going to open these presents. 11:54.202 --> 11:55.402 Look, it's a T-shirt. 11:55.722 --> 11:56.303 Oh, here you go. 11:56.963 --> 11:57.503 Wow. 11:57.743 --> 11:59.664 It's a Kilboggins T-shirt. 12:00.004 --> 12:00.604 Oh, wow. 12:00.624 --> 12:01.604 Look at that. 12:01.664 --> 12:02.524 Now, who did that drawing? 12:02.564 --> 12:03.885 That drawing's by a listener, isn't it? 12:03.945 --> 12:06.685 Yeah, that's the drawing that's up on our blog. 12:06.766 --> 12:07.346 On our blog. 12:07.366 --> 12:09.106 The name of the person who did that design. 12:09.126 --> 12:12.947 This guy gave me this design when he came to a gig that I did at the 100 Club. 12:13.167 --> 12:14.848 Did you have these specially made, James? 12:15.128 --> 12:15.408 Wow. 12:15.868 --> 12:17.049 That's brilliant, James. 12:17.069 --> 12:17.989 That's very brilliant. 12:18.069 --> 12:19.030 How very touching. 12:19.070 --> 12:21.671 I've got a Save Boggins one and Joe's got a Kill Boggins one. 12:21.691 --> 12:21.971 Really? 12:22.011 --> 12:22.331 Yeah. 12:22.712 --> 12:23.412 That's perfect. 12:23.632 --> 12:26.033 This is the theme of our Song Wars today, listeners. 12:26.514 --> 12:33.918 So later on in the programme, maybe, I don't know, in the next hour or so, Joe and myself are going to unveil our pro and anti-Boggins songs. 12:34.058 --> 12:38.380 I'm doing Save Boggins, broadly speaking, and Joe's doing a Kill Boggins song. 12:39.180 --> 12:40.601 So there's that to look forward to. 12:40.641 --> 12:45.543 Also, we have a kind of boggins panto for you a bit later on in the show, maybe towards the very end. 12:45.843 --> 12:47.564 But right now, here's a bit more music for you. 12:47.924 --> 12:50.585 This is Sly and the Family Stone with Everyday People. 12:50.865 --> 12:52.886 It's a bit of a woolly manifesto he's got there. 12:53.066 --> 12:55.207 And so on and so on and Scooby Dooby Dooby. 12:55.347 --> 12:56.328 It's fine, it's fine. 12:56.348 --> 12:57.729 You don't need to go into the details. 12:57.949 --> 13:00.450 It's a broad swipe of a manifesto. 13:00.470 --> 13:03.711 I think that's what Gordon Brown's speech at Copenhagen was basically. 13:03.731 --> 13:05.252 Yeah, well that's what they're all agreeing on. 13:05.672 --> 13:09.553 So on and so on and Scooby Dooby Dooby and seven years. 13:09.693 --> 13:10.834 We should be fine. 13:11.114 --> 13:12.574 Yeah, it's the and so on and so on. 13:12.594 --> 13:13.434 That's the sticking point. 13:13.554 --> 13:15.155 Yeah, nobody wants to commit to that. 13:15.315 --> 13:18.136 Hey, listen, these black squadron photos have really taken off now. 13:18.416 --> 13:21.537 People are starting to put the old fairy lights around the body. 13:21.617 --> 13:24.357 You must be very careful, obviously not to electrocute yourselves. 13:24.397 --> 13:26.558 And if you do, we take no responsibility whatsoever. 13:27.338 --> 13:29.819 but it looks very fantastic. 13:29.899 --> 13:37.380 For instance, there's a picture of a young lady called Rihanna from Wantage who looks simply spectacular with some dangerous lights wrapped around her body. 13:37.400 --> 13:38.020 She's bedecked. 13:38.340 --> 13:39.280 Look at this one as well. 13:39.320 --> 13:43.381 He's got blue lights and he's doing a kind of motion blur thing. 13:43.901 --> 13:48.082 He's standing in a bucket with... Oh, I think we'd better close that one. 13:48.142 --> 13:50.663 He doesn't seem to be wearing trousers or pants. 13:50.683 --> 13:51.863 It's a little bit unsettling. 13:52.483 --> 13:55.425 You never know quite what you're going to get when you click on these photos. 13:55.445 --> 14:00.008 They come through thumbnail size so you can't see the detail and you double click them and wallop. 14:00.108 --> 14:00.528 That's right. 14:00.568 --> 14:02.169 Sometimes it's quite shocking. 14:02.349 --> 14:03.870 In the thumbnail it might look like baubles. 14:04.411 --> 14:15.738 The Wyatt family in Winchester have sent a photo of Sam aged 12 with some baubles hanging off his index fingers quite gracefully there and a mini cracker in his mouth. 14:16.418 --> 14:16.979 Aw, that's nice. 14:17.059 --> 14:18.720 Very touching, very Christmasy. 14:19.361 --> 14:20.342 Please keep these coming in. 14:20.402 --> 14:26.087 As Adam just announced, we will keep the Black Squadron floodgates open until 10 o'clock is unprecedented. 14:26.467 --> 14:27.548 Festive expansion. 14:27.608 --> 14:30.831 This time next week, boy, it's all gonna be over. 14:31.091 --> 14:32.512 What will it be when it's Christmas? 14:32.572 --> 14:33.173 Is it Friday? 14:33.213 --> 14:33.633 Friday. 14:34.053 --> 14:35.775 So this time next week will be Boxing Day. 14:35.795 --> 14:36.836 It's gonna be Boxing Day. 14:37.196 --> 14:38.277 I do like Boxing Day. 14:38.337 --> 14:38.858 I like Boxing Day. 14:39.078 --> 14:40.939 Sometimes you get the best movies on Boxing Day. 14:40.959 --> 14:42.381 The best movies! 14:42.481 --> 14:43.882 The best movies! 14:44.082 --> 14:47.606 I can't believe I passed Norby. 14:47.966 --> 14:49.648 Why does everything just end up as Silla? 14:49.688 --> 14:53.873 Because it all gravitates back to... It's like Godzilla is taking over all comedy voices. 14:55.495 --> 14:57.037 It said 30 is the news. 14:58.018 --> 15:02.983 What's it called when you have that kind of chord there at the end, that little change in mood? 15:03.364 --> 15:03.564 Bob. 15:04.125 --> 15:04.425 Bob. 15:04.705 --> 15:04.966 Yeah. 15:05.046 --> 15:06.908 Nice use of Bob there by the Gilamots. 15:07.349 --> 15:09.071 That was trains to Brazil. 15:09.151 --> 15:09.532 Thank you. 15:09.672 --> 15:11.855 Listen, it's erratum time. 15:12.256 --> 15:12.576 Is it? 15:12.716 --> 15:13.457 Erratum. 15:13.657 --> 15:15.019 Time to put rights and wrongs. 15:15.039 --> 15:20.507 Yeah, I just said that the Black Squadron floodgates will be open until 10 and of course it's till 11. 15:21.868 --> 15:24.809 I made some timing based mistakes last week as well. 15:25.270 --> 15:44.678 Well a couple of weeks back you said we started an hour earlier Yeah, whereas of course what I was referring started an hour later I've got a little correction here actually on a couple of points from Neil 21 in time and we're Just wanted to point out that the ultrasound guy joke which we told a couple of weeks back, which you told jokes 15:45.480 --> 16:11.362 Has been told many times before I even heard it on the Chris Moyles show also he says we were talking about some guy who's going to have a themed party for the year for the date 12 12 12 and I couldn't figure out why he's and he said he was going to invite lots of roadies of course it's because roadies say one two one two one two yeah so that's their roadie party on 12 12 12 and 16:12.743 --> 16:22.057 He says, uh, also to contribute to textination, we're just about to do retro textination, I used to think that contact lenses were made from glass they use in spectacles. 16:22.818 --> 16:28.666 I was recently corrected by an attractive lady who I got into a conversation about with, oh, this is rubbish, I shouldn't have read that bit. 16:29.307 --> 16:32.231 I like that I was recently corrected by an attractive lady. 16:34.013 --> 16:37.237 But you know, when Adam and I make mistakes, we tend to just ignore them. 16:37.277 --> 16:43.285 But then, because we do read all the correspondence we get, sometimes you just get an avalanche of people correcting you. 16:43.305 --> 16:44.646 Thanks for those incidentally, Neil. 16:44.707 --> 16:46.809 I wasn't implying that your whole message was rubbish. 16:47.070 --> 16:47.830 I appreciated it. 16:48.471 --> 16:50.213 We appreciate the vigilance of our listeners. 16:50.934 --> 16:51.374 Very much so. 16:51.394 --> 16:52.175 Putting things right. 16:52.215 --> 16:52.735 Very much so. 16:52.795 --> 16:55.338 But isn't it nice to know that you can relax for a while, listeners? 16:56.399 --> 16:58.861 And we'll just be getting things wrong in our own life with private. 16:58.921 --> 17:01.563 With no one to put us right except our nearest and dearest. 17:02.084 --> 17:03.245 And they're too frightened to do so. 17:03.445 --> 17:04.947 Shall we have the retro text the nation, Jingle? 17:05.027 --> 17:05.147 Yes. 17:05.859 --> 17:20.433 I like to listen to Adam and Jo But I listen to the podcast, not the live show I used to feel a cute frustration Because I couldn't join in with Tex the Nation 17:21.093 --> 17:35.548 But now my troubles have disappeared Because reds protect the nations here And now my letter might be read out Instead of throwing the bench and forgotten about 17:36.974 --> 17:37.434 There we go. 17:37.474 --> 17:39.015 A special Christmas treat, listeners. 17:39.395 --> 17:41.736 We had bin and trash there simultaneously. 17:41.756 --> 17:47.459 That was created by a listener whose name is Dan Harris, especially to placate bin haters or bin lovers. 17:47.799 --> 17:49.059 Trash haters and trash lovers. 17:49.159 --> 17:50.140 That is beautiful. 17:50.200 --> 17:52.001 It's a beautiful sentiment for this time of year. 17:52.541 --> 17:54.602 The meldging of the bin and the trash. 17:54.822 --> 17:55.402 Meldging? 17:56.322 --> 17:59.484 That's like a fusion between merging and melding. 17:59.724 --> 18:00.024 Yeah. 18:00.244 --> 18:02.365 What do you call it as a portmanteau word, isn't it? 18:02.485 --> 18:02.725 Is it? 18:02.905 --> 18:03.486 I believe so. 18:03.786 --> 18:04.146 Like it. 18:05.037 --> 18:06.798 Here is Retro Text the Nation this week. 18:06.818 --> 18:08.619 Listen, it's about homemade presents. 18:08.919 --> 18:11.780 Best or worst that you ever done or got, yeah. 18:12.821 --> 18:14.622 And we had some very nice ones in last week. 18:14.642 --> 18:18.483 There's a picture on the blog of the Jabba the Hutt poo, I believe. 18:18.924 --> 18:20.104 Is that up there already, James? 18:20.404 --> 18:21.845 We were talking about that last week. 18:22.674 --> 18:24.935 here's a message from Mark Tyler. 18:25.455 --> 18:27.996 Dear Han Jolo, an old bucky one. 18:29.897 --> 18:31.517 Please find attached to the poo with the face. 18:31.858 --> 18:37.440 Jabber the poo is currently in Essex and I am in Switzerland, so please thank my sister Penny Tyler for sending the picture to me. 18:38.180 --> 18:38.980 Love you, bye! 18:39.100 --> 18:39.681 Mark Tyler. 18:39.741 --> 18:45.503 It's a very amusing little jabber the poo, not revolting in any way, just heartwarming. 18:45.583 --> 18:46.043 It's made of 18:46.363 --> 18:46.683 Clay. 18:46.824 --> 18:47.544 It's made of clay, right? 18:47.584 --> 18:50.047 Yeah, and it's greasy. 18:50.147 --> 18:52.009 So go to, what's the blog address? 18:52.049 --> 18:52.950 Here it is. 18:53.010 --> 18:53.490 Here it is. 18:53.630 --> 18:54.491 Here it is. 18:54.851 --> 18:58.555 BBC.co.uk slash blog slash Adam and Jo, all one word. 18:58.635 --> 19:01.117 And you'll find a cornucopia of delights. 19:01.638 --> 19:04.781 So here are the best retrospective entries we got for last week's Text the Nation. 19:04.821 --> 19:06.142 Here's one from Dave Moore. 19:06.382 --> 19:08.124 I've edited this down a bit for impact. 19:08.164 --> 19:08.485 That's right. 19:09.605 --> 19:14.266 My student girlfriend, who is now my ex, made me a plaster cast of her boobs for Christmas. 19:14.286 --> 19:15.126 I had this one! 19:15.186 --> 19:16.607 Great boobs, great present. 19:17.407 --> 19:17.867 Dave Moore. 19:18.727 --> 19:19.207 Oh, is that it? 19:19.387 --> 19:20.968 Yeah, I edited it down for impact. 19:20.988 --> 19:22.108 Do you want to read the rest of it out? 19:22.128 --> 19:22.548 Sure, I like that. 19:22.568 --> 19:34.871 I mean, the rest of it goes into how he used them to keep keys in, and he put them on the top of that wardrobe, and then eventually he floated them down to Thames, down to Thames, in a Viking-style burial, with little candles on them. 19:35.151 --> 19:47.777 Exactly, because he said it was a little bit weird, like, when, after he stopped going out with the girl who made the plaster cast of her boobs, and he started going out with other girls, questions were, you know, not surprisingly asked about where his head was at. 19:47.897 --> 19:49.437 Who's are those boobs in the corner? 19:49.658 --> 19:51.338 I mean, that's totally unacceptable, isn't it? 19:51.358 --> 19:52.139 Dave, who's are those boobs? 19:52.159 --> 19:52.699 They're not mine. 19:52.919 --> 19:54.520 Who's are they in the corner on the wardrobe? 19:54.540 --> 19:55.460 Who's are those boobs? 19:55.480 --> 19:56.180 They're looking at me. 19:57.641 --> 20:00.643 It's very disconcerting for a woman to have more than one pair in the house. 20:00.663 --> 20:01.484 And for a man, I think. 20:01.504 --> 20:06.287 You know, a lot of Dave Moore's guests were asking questions about where Dave Moore was at. 20:06.307 --> 20:08.608 But it's like one of those portraits that follows you around the room. 20:08.828 --> 20:09.549 Yes, exactly. 20:10.830 --> 20:13.311 Especially if she'd done it on a cold day, the plaster cast. 20:14.412 --> 20:15.613 But that's a good present. 20:15.773 --> 20:16.854 That is a good present. 20:16.994 --> 20:18.155 Done it on a cold day. 20:18.295 --> 20:22.297 I mean, in the sixties, they had plaster casts of all parts of the body. 20:22.457 --> 20:23.338 Yeah. 20:23.438 --> 20:27.781 And it's gone out of fashion a little bit, I feel, but maybe something to bring back. 20:28.161 --> 20:32.404 Well, in the sixties, people used to have those plaster casts on their front doors, didn't they? 20:32.884 --> 20:33.285 Did they? 20:33.325 --> 20:34.746 That's what you used to do as doormarks. 20:34.766 --> 20:35.206 As doormarks. 20:35.226 --> 20:36.047 Your territory, yeah. 20:37.145 --> 20:38.506 plaster casts of your julies were talking. 20:38.526 --> 20:40.347 Yeah. 20:40.787 --> 20:42.869 Just in the sixties hung on the front of your house. 20:43.109 --> 20:43.669 That's right. 20:43.889 --> 20:44.270 Jimi Hendrix. 20:44.290 --> 20:44.930 That was the tradition. 20:44.950 --> 20:46.471 This is a big door knocker. 20:46.751 --> 20:48.352 It went out at the end of the sixties. 20:49.913 --> 20:51.894 Good message though, thanks Dave. 20:51.914 --> 20:55.036 Let's have another one quickly, otherwise we're going to run out of time. 20:55.056 --> 20:55.817 Do some more. 20:55.917 --> 20:56.878 Here's one from Nick Dollings. 20:57.458 --> 21:02.342 He says, hello, my blind grandmother was a dab hand with the knitting needle. 21:02.762 --> 21:03.783 Knitting needle? 21:03.823 --> 21:04.524 Knitting needle. 21:05.004 --> 21:08.767 One year, she knitted my brother a bottle green chunky knit sweater. 21:09.128 --> 21:13.511 What made it really special though, was the two tassels she added where his nipples would be. 21:13.972 --> 21:15.153 One tassel for each nipple. 21:15.613 --> 21:16.434 She's no longer with us. 21:16.694 --> 21:17.915 Cheerio, Nick Collins. 21:18.595 --> 21:19.556 That's nice though, isn't it? 21:19.896 --> 21:20.577 That's very nice. 21:20.597 --> 21:21.918 What was Granny thinking about that? 21:21.938 --> 21:23.259 She couldn't see, isn't that the point? 21:23.359 --> 21:25.201 Yeah, but she's made the tassels. 21:25.982 --> 21:27.844 Everyone loves tassels on a jumper. 21:28.024 --> 21:30.627 I put a couple of tassels over for your nipples. 21:31.168 --> 21:31.468 Why? 21:31.488 --> 21:33.650 Because then you can make them spin around. 21:33.670 --> 21:35.973 You can make them jazzy, spin around, that kind of thing. 21:35.993 --> 21:38.456 You can still be warm but have the fun of a dancing girl. 21:41.178 --> 21:48.723 David Belfast says, I once photocopied the listings for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day from the festive radio times. 21:49.263 --> 21:57.008 Then I highlighted my recommendations with a little commentary on the side, unmissable, avoid, simply must see, stinker, etc. 21:57.428 --> 21:58.689 It went down an absolute treat. 21:58.749 --> 22:02.071 I did the photocopy on a nice big A3 page for ease of use. 22:02.571 --> 22:05.733 It's the dream gift for any TV lover for the holiday season. 22:05.833 --> 22:07.634 I don't know about that being like the main gift. 22:08.694 --> 22:15.097 I think he blew it up to A3 and he probably, I mean I'm guessing here, he probably mounted them on some poly board. 22:15.117 --> 22:16.258 He laminated it or something. 22:16.278 --> 22:16.718 Possibly. 22:16.998 --> 22:17.959 And then gave them his gifts. 22:18.079 --> 22:18.919 I think that's very good. 22:18.939 --> 22:19.099 Even so. 22:19.379 --> 22:20.580 I don't know if that's it. 22:20.680 --> 22:22.541 Dream gift. 22:22.621 --> 22:24.962 And he says, it went down in absolute dreams. 22:25.402 --> 22:26.403 It is the dream gift. 22:26.463 --> 22:27.743 It is the dream gift, so I'm wrong. 22:28.143 --> 22:33.566 But I would think that in my house that would be considered more of a dream accessory, not like the main present. 22:34.046 --> 22:35.587 Yeah, but it's time-saving. 22:35.868 --> 22:38.470 So darling, I think you're really going to like what I've got. 22:39.451 --> 22:43.254 You've got me a laminated photocopy of the listings. 22:43.634 --> 22:45.315 Shall we watch Noel's Christmas presents? 22:45.636 --> 22:46.476 Well, let's just check. 22:47.197 --> 22:47.657 Stinker. 22:47.737 --> 22:48.598 No, let's not. 22:48.778 --> 22:49.739 Dave says it's a stinker. 22:49.779 --> 22:51.560 This is the best gift I've ever got. 22:52.081 --> 22:53.422 Saving me so much time. 22:54.062 --> 22:54.443 Any more? 22:55.283 --> 22:55.804 That's it for me. 22:56.604 --> 22:59.586 I've got lots more, but maybe we should let's have some more later on yeah. 22:59.986 --> 23:03.268 Here's the mode Did you know that depression mode fans are called modus? 23:03.908 --> 23:04.128 Yes? 23:05.429 --> 23:06.530 This is fragile tension 23:14.748 --> 23:17.949 Unusual sort of farting sounds on the end of that record. 23:18.369 --> 23:21.509 Electronic noises from Depeche Mode there, that was fragile tension. 23:21.649 --> 23:24.230 Adam and Jo here on BBC, six music. 23:24.290 --> 23:26.390 It's our last stats. 23:26.470 --> 23:27.670 Stats time. 23:27.710 --> 23:36.072 Black Squadron photo count is 104 and Lucy still hasn't counted them all in and there's still 10 minutes to go to get your human Christmas tree photo in. 23:36.592 --> 23:38.572 We want to try and break the 150 mark. 23:38.732 --> 23:38.993 Come on. 23:39.253 --> 23:40.933 It's like the Blue Peter Totalizer. 23:41.573 --> 23:42.374 but not for charity. 23:57.202 --> 24:00.065 So bear that in mind when you dress yourself up as a Christmas tree. 24:00.545 --> 24:03.729 If you want them charged at some kind of special message rate, TOVE LOCK! 24:04.970 --> 24:05.710 I gotta be strong. 24:06.271 --> 24:07.272 Just keep pushing on. 24:07.472 --> 24:08.874 There's always gonna be another mountain. 24:09.214 --> 24:10.735 I'm always gonna wanna make it move. 24:11.436 --> 24:12.717 Always gonna be an uphill battle. 24:13.098 --> 24:14.959 Sometimes, you're gonna have to lose. 24:15.560 --> 24:17.202 Ain't about how fast I get there. 24:17.682 --> 24:19.464 Ain't about what's waiting on the other side. 24:21.065 --> 24:21.685 It's the climb. 24:21.765 --> 24:22.926 This is really moving, man. 24:22.946 --> 24:24.447 Is this just off the top of your head? 24:24.487 --> 24:25.407 Is this spontaneous? 24:25.427 --> 24:26.828 I'm freestyling because it's the last show. 24:26.888 --> 24:28.149 It's really inspiring, though. 24:28.169 --> 24:28.830 Yeah. 24:28.890 --> 24:31.931 You know, it's a little bit like Terry Wiggins when he bowed out yesterday. 24:31.951 --> 24:33.152 He had a very emotional show. 24:33.172 --> 24:33.652 Did you hear that? 24:33.732 --> 24:34.413 I didn't hear it. 24:34.473 --> 24:34.873 Wonderful. 24:34.953 --> 24:36.634 Absolutely uplifting. 24:36.754 --> 24:37.095 Was it? 24:37.395 --> 24:37.655 Yeah. 24:37.715 --> 24:39.536 He made a wonderful speech at the end. 24:39.556 --> 24:40.437 Is he gone for good then? 24:40.457 --> 24:42.358 No, he said he's back in February. 24:44.439 --> 24:44.819 At the end. 24:45.159 --> 24:46.700 Till we're back together in February. 24:48.722 --> 24:50.783 But he's changing his slot, isn't he? 24:50.864 --> 24:53.506 Yeah, I mean having his slot removed and put somewhere else. 24:53.686 --> 24:55.427 Yeah, he's having the slot operation. 24:55.447 --> 24:56.628 He's in hospital till February. 24:57.649 --> 24:58.810 Having the slot moved. 24:59.391 --> 25:02.493 The operation itself doesn't take long, but it takes a while to recover from it. 25:02.513 --> 25:07.297 Yeah, it's just very sore and raw. 25:07.377 --> 25:08.819 You've got all the tubes coming out. 25:08.839 --> 25:12.041 For God's sake, don't use it until it's fully healed. 25:14.658 --> 25:32.277 otherwise all kinds of damage could be done no but his show like his morning breakfast slot oh wake up with Wiggins that came to an end and it was really emotional it was in all the papers so I'm trying to do anything about us in the papers no well we didn't we know we've only been here two years so 25:33.017 --> 25:34.339 Ain't about what's waiting on the other side. 25:34.359 --> 25:34.940 It's the climb. 25:35.040 --> 25:35.881 Keep on moving. 25:36.401 --> 25:37.102 Keep climbing. 25:37.743 --> 25:38.584 Keep the faith, baby. 25:38.604 --> 25:39.505 I'm talking to you listeners. 25:40.226 --> 25:43.089 It's all about the climb. 25:43.209 --> 25:43.810 Keep the faith. 25:44.170 --> 25:45.031 Keep your faith. 25:46.380 --> 25:46.960 What is this? 25:47.401 --> 25:48.461 What do you mean, what is this? 25:48.481 --> 25:49.582 It's some new soul to soul. 25:49.602 --> 25:51.123 It's the Christmas number one, isn't it? 25:51.323 --> 25:51.603 Is it? 25:51.623 --> 25:52.523 It's going to be. 25:52.923 --> 25:54.184 Is that what Joe thingy is saying? 25:54.264 --> 25:56.365 Rage against the swear box, have anything to do with it? 25:56.645 --> 25:57.846 Yeah, that's Joe McKeldry. 25:58.166 --> 25:58.486 No way. 25:58.506 --> 25:59.687 With his pretty plastic face. 26:01.708 --> 26:02.569 He's handsome, don't you think? 26:02.889 --> 26:03.309 Do you think? 26:03.569 --> 26:04.450 Of course he's handsome. 26:04.490 --> 26:05.170 Yeah, he's handsome. 26:05.630 --> 26:07.811 He looks like a Jeff Koons sculpture. 26:07.931 --> 26:08.472 Absolutely. 26:08.512 --> 26:10.593 You know, faultless porcelain man. 26:11.353 --> 26:13.975 But does he have any kind of discernible personality? 26:15.015 --> 26:15.635 Of course he does. 26:15.655 --> 26:16.416 Of course he does. 26:16.436 --> 26:19.398 They've just tried to limit it and control it. 26:19.658 --> 26:29.144 It just seems unbelievable to me that he would have the trifecta, the amazing voice, the wonderful looks which he undoubtedly has, and the personality? 26:29.344 --> 26:30.004 Surely not. 26:30.104 --> 26:30.525 Come on. 26:30.545 --> 26:37.189 I mean, so far he's hiding it, but I don't know if he's going to bring out the big guns when it really counts and suddenly unleash the personality. 26:38.130 --> 26:40.212 What kind of personality do you think it's going to be? 26:40.473 --> 26:41.614 I don't know, that's what I'm saying. 26:41.914 --> 26:43.636 What kind of personality do you reckon he's got under there? 26:43.717 --> 26:46.720 I think really belligerent and rude and foul-mouthed. 26:47.021 --> 26:47.521 Right, right. 26:47.541 --> 26:48.402 And really filthy. 26:48.422 --> 26:49.804 Because at the moment he's keeping it all locked down. 26:49.824 --> 26:52.767 He seems very anodised and cute, but I don't think that's the truth at all. 26:52.808 --> 26:54.990 I think he's got some really quite shocking tattoos. 26:56.151 --> 27:01.434 Just under the very top of his shirt collar is a really quite breathtaking word. 27:02.075 --> 27:07.338 But if he just looked up too high, it would pop out from under his collar and it would make mums and dads blush. 27:07.478 --> 27:08.038 What kind of word? 27:08.118 --> 27:08.399 Front? 27:08.559 --> 27:09.739 Spelled F-R-U-N-T. 27:09.759 --> 27:10.780 Something along those lines. 27:11.140 --> 27:11.781 Oh my goodness. 27:12.021 --> 27:14.202 Best of luck, Joe Mckeldree with that climb. 27:14.222 --> 27:16.223 Oh, this is your free play now, Joe. 27:16.363 --> 27:17.464 Yeah, what is this? 27:18.044 --> 27:19.125 It's a bit of kinkery or something. 27:19.145 --> 27:19.565 This is good. 27:19.605 --> 27:22.547 This is called Now Drop Your Bombshell. 27:22.887 --> 27:23.148 Love it. 27:24.386 --> 27:26.708 That's the specials there with Ghost Town. 27:26.808 --> 27:29.149 Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 27:29.650 --> 27:30.790 Nice to be with you listeners. 27:31.271 --> 27:32.452 Just gone 11 o'clock. 27:32.772 --> 27:33.852 Time check for you there. 27:33.953 --> 27:36.154 Don't usually do them, but, you know, it's a Christmas gift for you. 27:36.174 --> 27:36.714 You can have that. 27:36.915 --> 27:37.295 It's free. 27:37.955 --> 27:42.258 You can put it with your laminated copy of the TV listings. 27:43.379 --> 27:46.941 Do you ever watch Dickinson's Real Deal, Joe? 27:47.742 --> 27:48.863 It comes on every morning. 27:49.503 --> 27:51.265 There are a couple of shows that come on every morning. 27:51.285 --> 27:54.528 There's a man in a suit that goes looking around people's houses. 27:54.548 --> 27:55.309 There's a lot of them. 27:55.449 --> 27:56.630 He looks very tired. 27:57.751 --> 28:00.173 He's been doing it every morning for the last two or three years. 28:00.814 --> 28:04.577 Taking a deep breath and then talking about some really blank kitchen. 28:04.938 --> 28:06.399 He hasn't got his own house. 28:06.559 --> 28:07.340 He's an itinerant. 28:07.861 --> 28:08.841 I feel sorry for him. 28:09.022 --> 28:11.964 Deacon said I feel less sorry for him. 28:14.927 --> 28:16.068 Where did Dickinson start? 28:16.228 --> 28:18.269 Was he Bargain Basement Hunt or something? 28:19.710 --> 28:21.291 Yeah, I don't know. 28:21.331 --> 28:22.952 He was an expert on one of those antiques programs. 28:23.012 --> 28:28.435 He's a ridiculous, if you don't know for some reason who he is, he's a ludicrous oily man who does, he's an antiques expert. 28:28.475 --> 28:28.995 He's orange. 28:29.195 --> 28:32.277 He's orange, he's got a larger-than-life personality, he seems like an amiable fellow and 28:33.758 --> 28:43.867 He, on Dickinson's real deal, he and a team of so-called experts evaluate, or valuate rather, things that people have brought in, valuate. 28:44.668 --> 28:45.188 Isn't that the word? 28:45.248 --> 28:46.309 Rather than evaluate. 28:46.650 --> 28:48.371 Well, no, evaluate is something else. 28:48.391 --> 28:52.535 Evaluate is specifically about putting a monetary value on something. 28:52.635 --> 28:53.275 I think so, yeah. 28:54.316 --> 28:59.861 to evaluate you can do without actually talking specifically about money. 29:01.382 --> 29:08.107 Anyway, they've got like a little coterie of experts, all of whom have variously outrageous personalities. 29:08.508 --> 29:08.768 Yes. 29:09.108 --> 29:09.428 One of them. 29:09.448 --> 29:13.512 Have you seen the sort of very flamboyantly... Is this the one where they turn off for the money? 29:13.672 --> 29:13.872 Yeah. 29:13.992 --> 29:15.573 And the person has to refuse the money. 29:15.613 --> 29:17.615 It's got a bit of deal or no deal in there. 29:17.635 --> 29:17.995 It's the one. 29:18.276 --> 29:21.838 And they have the money found... Oh no, he counts it onto the table, doesn't he? 29:22.079 --> 29:23.119 And it's pathetic amounts. 29:24.380 --> 29:42.432 like it's about six pounds yeah four pounds oh what about five pounds why that what about six pounds so someone brings their Toby jug collection however and they put them on the table and he's saying hmm I like and this there's like an outrageously flamboyant Queenie guy there right always got to be one of those 29:42.452 --> 29:51.199 Who looks, I mean, he looks like a caricature, a sort of offensive caricature of a flamboyant queen that would come out of a sitcom in the 70s, right? 29:52.500 --> 29:59.066 Weirdly dyed hair and a very loud garish shirt, loads of jangly gold jewellery on and stuff. 29:59.526 --> 30:01.368 And he kind of talks like this. 30:02.008 --> 30:05.931 And he says, right, look at your toby jugs, OK? 30:06.272 --> 30:08.654 I'm thinking, what do you think? 30:08.754 --> 30:10.195 What do you want for them? 30:10.495 --> 30:18.658 And the person says, well, OK, well, before you answer, I'm going to put down 10 pounds. 30:19.378 --> 30:23.479 And the person says, I was hoping for a little bit more. 30:24.559 --> 30:29.041 OK, what about if I put down another five pounds? 30:29.701 --> 30:30.381 Is that good? 30:31.262 --> 30:32.502 Or would you want more? 30:32.822 --> 30:35.605 It's weird, like, obviously they're going to always want more. 30:35.625 --> 30:42.331 And they always look very embarrassed, the people with their objects, because it's a sort of shameful thing they're doing. 30:42.591 --> 30:48.196 They're going on TV and they're sitting there with their Toby Jugs or whatever, and they're just asking people for money. 30:48.536 --> 30:50.038 Can I have a bit more money? 30:50.698 --> 30:52.899 Please, can I have a bit more money? 30:53.339 --> 30:57.360 You know what would be great is if you gave me a tiny bit more money. 30:57.960 --> 30:59.481 It's such a weird show. 30:59.981 --> 31:00.661 It is an odd show. 31:00.701 --> 31:03.642 It's a step away from just rifling through bins, don't you think? 31:03.662 --> 31:03.923 Yeah. 31:04.363 --> 31:05.983 That would be a good morning show as well. 31:06.003 --> 31:08.964 I mean, they don't really need the objects, you know what I mean? 31:09.264 --> 31:13.466 They could just do it without, like, with the person going up to a presenter looking a bit embarrassed. 31:14.486 --> 31:14.766 Right. 31:15.286 --> 31:15.567 Hello. 31:15.627 --> 31:16.907 Nice to meet you, Charlotte. 31:17.327 --> 31:19.028 Now, how much money would you like? 31:19.868 --> 31:22.710 I'd like, um, please could I have about 20 pounds? 31:23.190 --> 31:23.430 No. 31:24.270 --> 31:26.451 I'm going to give you 15 pounds. 31:26.731 --> 31:27.392 Is that okay? 31:27.692 --> 31:28.472 Well, I was hoping for 20. 31:29.253 --> 31:30.753 I'm not going to give you that, though. 31:31.173 --> 31:32.454 There's 15 pounds. 31:32.794 --> 31:33.254 I'm sorry. 31:33.975 --> 31:35.155 There's no way I'm going to give you 20. 31:35.795 --> 31:36.216 Off you go. 31:36.256 --> 31:36.816 Thanks a lot. 31:36.856 --> 31:37.156 Bye. 31:37.796 --> 31:38.837 That's how it's going to end up. 31:39.017 --> 31:40.457 You know, they'll just cut out the middle man. 31:40.498 --> 31:41.418 Get rid of the objects. 31:41.458 --> 31:42.758 That's a good idea for a show. 31:42.779 --> 31:43.759 Yeah, do you reckon? 31:44.019 --> 31:44.659 Yeah, I think so. 31:44.679 --> 31:45.459 Can I have some money? 31:45.559 --> 31:48.800 Especially during these hard-hit recessionary times. 31:49.060 --> 31:49.700 Give us some money. 31:50.040 --> 31:51.020 Just give us some money. 31:52.001 --> 31:54.061 You could ask the person what they might do for the money. 31:54.401 --> 31:54.701 Yes. 31:54.741 --> 31:55.942 Could be a late-night program. 31:57.502 --> 32:00.903 Right, with some flamboyant, colourful prose on it. 32:00.923 --> 32:01.063 Yeah. 32:01.123 --> 32:01.663 Yeah, yeah. 32:02.123 --> 32:03.223 That's a nice idea. 32:03.243 --> 32:05.303 Here's Sugarhill Gang with Apache. 32:05.524 --> 32:09.004 Got a much brighter delivery style in the old days of rap, don't you think? 32:09.044 --> 32:10.044 Yeah, they really did. 32:10.325 --> 32:12.145 Like, like, salesman or something. 32:12.785 --> 32:16.568 Do how would you like to do a bit of rap a rapper rap rap rap rap? 32:16.989 --> 32:18.670 I like rapping rapping so much. 32:18.890 --> 32:21.112 I'm always rapping rap rap I could be a rapper. 32:21.132 --> 32:21.393 Good night. 32:21.413 --> 32:22.634 They should bring that style back. 32:22.714 --> 32:23.715 It's much more upbeat. 32:24.015 --> 32:26.497 That's right I'm absolutely furious. 32:26.797 --> 32:27.678 I've shot you in the head. 32:28.038 --> 32:32.482 I'm a gangster rapper from this That's a very cliched view of hip-hop there. 32:32.622 --> 32:38.287 I'm fusing genre is it very reductive you say that but then when you actually listen to hip-hop It's generally like that 32:41.701 --> 33:09.831 BBC six music good morning listeners we've got a sort of a song wars type thing to do now song wars hasn't been around for a while for various medical and personal reasons but it's back to celebrate our penultimate program here on BBC six music until our a little bit of a break next year last live show so let's have the song was jingle hey it's time for song wars the war of the songs a couple of 33:21.861 --> 33:25.444 Now, we should both apologise if our Song Wars efforts are a tiny bit slapdash this week. 33:25.705 --> 33:26.485 Yeah. 33:26.685 --> 33:30.269 Also, I mean, it's a double slap in the face in a way because they are boggins based. 33:30.409 --> 33:38.898 Yeah, this might be unpopular with a certain, you know, section of the listenership, but don't worry if you hate boggins, your feelings will be represented in one of the songs. 33:39.238 --> 33:42.922 Joe is responsible for a anti-boggins song. 33:43.462 --> 33:43.662 Right? 33:43.942 --> 33:44.282 Yeah. 33:44.582 --> 33:46.163 And I'm doing... I got allocated it. 33:46.323 --> 33:46.543 Yeah. 33:46.863 --> 33:48.863 And I'm doing a broadly pro-boggin song. 33:48.983 --> 33:49.183 Yeah. 33:49.223 --> 33:52.064 So we're going to flip a coin and see who plays their song first. 33:52.124 --> 33:52.724 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 33:54.144 --> 33:54.244 Okay. 33:54.264 --> 33:55.264 What are you calling? 33:55.464 --> 33:56.465 I'm calling for heads. 33:56.685 --> 33:57.845 If it's heads, I go first. 33:57.905 --> 33:58.905 Heads, you go first. 33:59.085 --> 33:59.685 It's tails. 33:59.705 --> 34:00.926 It's tails, I go second. 34:01.106 --> 34:02.046 You go second. 34:03.026 --> 34:04.886 So introduce your song for the listeners here. 34:04.926 --> 34:07.987 And we should say that this is a non-competitive festive song, Wars. 34:08.007 --> 34:09.067 You don't need to vote. 34:09.087 --> 34:10.968 You can just fight amongst yourselves at home. 34:11.228 --> 34:12.108 You just sit back. 34:13.482 --> 34:17.886 Relax and let the rubbish flow over you like being caught beneath a bin. 34:18.446 --> 34:19.627 Ooh, smooth. 34:19.967 --> 34:22.529 Anyway, here's my boggins song. 34:23.030 --> 34:25.311 It is... I'm not going to say too much about it. 34:25.692 --> 34:26.953 I think it speaks for itself. 34:27.193 --> 34:30.195 It's, uh, Creed occur from The Stinky Man, and here it is. 34:39.903 --> 34:42.044 Everybody's trying to kill me. 34:43.539 --> 34:53.571 I don't even know what I've done I only tried to lick their face And bite their legs a little bit 34:55.336 --> 35:23.415 Some people want to shoot me Or chop me into little pieces Because I stink and I'm a disgrace And not funny, I love you I just want to stamp around your house Leaving mud all over the place And if I see a little baby I'm gonna lick his little face 35:28.063 --> 35:51.290 So I think that is my anal glands I drag my bum across the carpet and it smells Sorry Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr Raw 35:54.052 --> 36:17.091 Please don't kill me cause I really love you I'm sorry that I chewed your shoes And I'm sorry that you put them on and found those bows To make up for it I found your clean sheets and rolled around on top of them 36:18.550 --> 36:38.285 And then I left a little gift beneath for you It was approved Everybody's trying to kill me Even though I'm sweet and kind I just wanna itch my soul behind 36:41.495 --> 36:48.658 I just drank all the water in the lab I think you're fine Refreshing! 36:49.418 --> 37:06.625 I just ate a bird and then I threw it up too I just done a poo and ate that too Oh I just done a poo 37:17.338 --> 37:17.738 I love you. 37:18.819 --> 37:19.300 There you go. 37:19.540 --> 37:21.162 Wow, that's powerful stuff. 37:21.302 --> 37:22.783 I'm sorry, it was so long. 37:22.923 --> 37:23.784 It was long, wasn't it? 37:23.844 --> 37:26.086 You went for the full three and a half years. 37:26.106 --> 37:28.849 I could have obviously edited it down, but I did go for the three and a half years. 37:28.889 --> 37:31.151 No, no, it was good, it was good, it was good. 37:31.171 --> 37:31.791 There you go. 37:31.811 --> 37:33.393 So was that the Pro Boggin song? 37:33.413 --> 37:34.814 That was broadly Pro Boggin. 37:34.834 --> 37:36.055 I mean, it's a tricky subject, isn't it? 37:36.075 --> 37:39.819 Because there's only a limited number of things to say about Boggin. 37:40.279 --> 37:41.700 We're gonna find out what Joe's angle was. 37:41.720 --> 37:44.062 My song has quite similar lyrical content. 37:44.142 --> 37:44.522 Yeah, yeah. 37:44.562 --> 37:50.527 But of course, you know, I don't do the voice as well as you, so it's not looking good for cornballs. 37:50.547 --> 37:53.049 But stay tuned to hear the anti-Boggins song. 37:53.409 --> 37:57.572 After a bit of real music from Ben Folds Five, here's the Battle of Who Could Care Less. 37:57.812 --> 37:58.373 Very nice. 37:58.413 --> 38:01.075 That's Ben Folds Five with the Battle of Who Could Care Less. 38:01.595 --> 38:07.199 Time now to get back into our special Boggins-based Song Wars battle this week. 38:08.040 --> 38:09.681 We could even have another Song Wars jingle. 38:09.741 --> 38:10.301 Could we, James? 38:10.401 --> 38:12.183 Or is there... Have you got a different one on there? 38:12.203 --> 38:13.584 Sorry, I sprang that on you a little bit. 38:14.224 --> 38:14.684 No. 38:15.325 --> 38:16.125 No, can't have it. 38:16.205 --> 38:16.826 No, it would be rude. 38:16.846 --> 38:18.127 It would be rude to have it, in fact. 38:18.147 --> 38:28.914 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 38:36.639 --> 38:37.500 Did you not hear that? 38:37.580 --> 38:38.420 No, I didn't hear about that. 38:38.440 --> 38:40.801 Well, Andrew Lloyd Webber, I'm surprised it's been in all the papers. 38:40.821 --> 38:42.022 He's a huge fan of the show. 38:42.042 --> 38:42.302 Yeah. 38:42.542 --> 38:45.263 And he announced this week that he is putting on a musical. 38:45.443 --> 38:45.803 Is he? 38:45.943 --> 38:46.884 Based on Boggins. 38:46.904 --> 38:47.404 Of course. 38:47.464 --> 38:48.525 Which is very exciting. 38:48.545 --> 38:51.366 And not only that, I can't believe you haven't heard about this. 38:51.386 --> 38:52.506 Neither can I. I'm amazed. 38:52.586 --> 38:55.448 The other thing he's doing is a BBC reality series. 38:55.528 --> 38:55.768 Yeah. 38:55.908 --> 38:58.109 Called How Do You Solve a Problem Like Boggins. 38:59.049 --> 39:01.653 hosted by Mark Barriman or John Barriman. 39:01.673 --> 39:06.761 Yes, Barriman will be there as well and they're going across the country to find the country's stinkiest dogs. 39:06.821 --> 39:07.342 John Barriman. 39:07.722 --> 39:09.204 And doing a 58,000 week series. 39:09.224 --> 39:09.405 58,000 weeks. 39:09.425 --> 39:10.706 Isn't that incredible? 39:15.233 --> 39:16.013 That's not long enough. 39:16.254 --> 39:17.214 It's not long enough, is it? 39:17.254 --> 39:19.655 And they're going to find the perfect dog to play, Boggins. 39:20.015 --> 39:25.638 But what I'm going to play you is a song from that musical, and it's sort of a fantasy sequence about the death of Boggins. 39:25.678 --> 39:25.918 Yeah. 39:26.639 --> 39:29.580 So don't take it too seriously or anything. 39:30.040 --> 39:32.802 It's an imaginary sort of flight of fancy during the musical. 39:33.302 --> 39:35.263 But this is a song called Kill Boggins. 39:36.001 --> 39:50.328 B-O-G-G-I-N-S He eats dead birds and smells of death He pukes them up on the carpet But he's oh so terribly sweet 39:52.758 --> 40:11.082 G G I N S He licks his bits, then licks your face He props his bum on the carpet But he's oh so terribly ill Why do all the listeners hate him so? 40:11.502 --> 40:15.163 Why do people say he's lame and bring him down the show? 40:15.483 --> 40:20.764 Kill boggins Kill boggins 40:24.016 --> 40:31.022 B-O-G-G-I-N-S is I-U-B-B-I-S-H. 40:31.783 --> 40:39.930 He urinates on the carpet, cause he's oh so terribly old. 40:39.970 --> 40:43.813 Put him in the boat, push him out to sea. 40:43.973 --> 40:47.196 Lock him in the cellar, throw away the key. 40:47.477 --> 40:48.738 Kill boggins. 40:55.996 --> 41:12.613 B-O-G-G-I-N-S His sentence passed, condemned to death He does sub-poo on the carpet Then he oh so terribly dies I love it, I'm going now bye 41:15.234 --> 41:21.078 That reminds me of your song for... All my other songs. 41:21.818 --> 41:23.679 No, but what was it? 41:23.719 --> 41:25.380 The one for... Oh, I can't remember. 41:25.781 --> 41:27.162 Yeah, it's classic Cornish. 41:27.262 --> 41:32.125 It's classic Cornish, because Cornish always clicks open garage band and never adjusts any of the settings. 41:32.345 --> 41:32.765 Do you not? 41:32.785 --> 41:33.606 I always amazed it. 41:33.886 --> 41:36.247 I can never recognise any of the loops you found. 41:37.068 --> 41:37.568 That was composed. 41:38.749 --> 41:38.949 Yeah. 41:39.369 --> 41:39.590 Yeah. 41:39.650 --> 41:40.150 But there we go. 41:40.170 --> 41:43.212 That's the... That's from Lloyd Webber's musical. 41:43.352 --> 41:45.874 That's from Lloyd Webber's new musical, Boggins. 41:46.274 --> 41:47.134 Exclamation mark. 41:47.155 --> 41:49.876 That's opening at the theatre. 41:52.838 --> 41:53.218 Next. 41:53.599 --> 41:58.502 Well, in a few years time, because it will take them a long time to run this series through to the end. 41:58.602 --> 41:58.802 Yeah. 41:59.182 --> 42:01.104 And do you think we could present The Sister Show? 42:01.304 --> 42:02.384 No, that's the thing. 42:03.305 --> 42:06.007 We're not allowed to have anything to do with it, because we're not capable. 42:06.587 --> 42:07.528 Well, there you go, listeners. 42:07.548 --> 42:11.412 That's our non-competitive song wars for this, our last live show for a while. 42:11.932 --> 42:14.715 Hope you didn't switch it off. 42:14.735 --> 42:17.738 Is that an ignominious ending to song wars for the time being? 42:18.079 --> 42:20.801 No, it's a glorious, amazing send off. 42:20.921 --> 42:21.202 No, exactly. 42:21.302 --> 42:22.883 One of the nation's favourite features. 42:24.525 --> 42:29.850 Here is Simeon Mobile Disco right now with Beth Ditto singing Cruel Intentions. 42:30.351 --> 42:35.956 Ditto with the Simeon Mobile Disco, that's Cruel Intentions, Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 42:36.577 --> 42:41.602 My three plays today are basically my favourite songs. 42:42.262 --> 42:44.845 You just said Cruel Intentions, I was thinking about the film Cruel Intentions. 42:45.145 --> 42:46.206 Do you remember that film? 42:46.246 --> 42:47.848 Crew and Intentions is quite a good film. 42:47.949 --> 42:50.952 Ryan Felipe has got some quite shocking moments in it. 42:51.012 --> 42:53.856 Was that one of the ones based on a Shakespeare? 42:53.896 --> 42:55.378 No, that was Les Liaisons d'Angers. 42:55.618 --> 42:58.121 It's based on, yes, a contemporary. 42:58.201 --> 42:59.583 That's Hathaway in there, isn't it? 43:00.364 --> 43:00.644 Is it? 43:00.745 --> 43:01.145 I think. 43:01.546 --> 43:03.388 Or is she in 10 Things I Hate About You? 43:03.448 --> 43:03.969 I can't remember. 43:04.489 --> 43:05.510 No, Hathaway is in there. 43:05.550 --> 43:06.950 She plays the sort of ingenue. 43:07.290 --> 43:12.372 Anyway, it's a wonderful film and I'm going to go home and watch it tonight with my family. 43:13.033 --> 43:13.913 Oh, don't let the kids watch it. 43:14.053 --> 43:14.974 Even the saucy parts. 43:15.394 --> 43:16.354 Here's a free play. 43:16.374 --> 43:20.376 This is one of my favorite songs that I've played as a free play the last couple of years. 43:20.756 --> 43:22.137 This is a German rapper. 43:23.277 --> 43:24.118 German rapper. 43:24.358 --> 43:31.066 And he's called Thomas D. I think he's in a German rap outfit called the Fantastic Four. 43:31.326 --> 43:35.811 And this is called Liebesbrief though. 43:35.831 --> 43:37.073 This is a solo effort. 43:37.133 --> 43:42.138 I think Liebesbrief is a love letter and it's a lovely bit of German rapping from Thomas D. Here it is. 43:42.338 --> 43:44.321 That's Thomas D with Liebesbrief. 43:45.482 --> 43:48.123 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC6 Music. 43:48.624 --> 43:50.625 It's 11.30 and time for the news. 43:50.885 --> 43:53.167 The Lemonheads with Mrs Robinson released in 1992. 43:53.767 --> 43:56.829 It's a cover of a song by Simon and Garfunkel. 43:57.710 --> 43:57.950 Is it? 43:58.070 --> 44:01.712 And it was originally appeared in the film Beethoven's Fifth. 44:01.932 --> 44:02.433 Correct. 44:03.013 --> 44:07.816 Directed by Mike Nichols starring Dustin Hoffman as that big lovable chaotic dog. 44:08.076 --> 44:08.457 Boggins. 44:09.017 --> 44:09.457 Boggins. 44:11.299 --> 44:13.841 I just went to the lobby again and washed my hands there. 44:13.881 --> 44:15.863 I brought in some towels for you to smell. 44:15.903 --> 44:16.924 You're obsessed with these towels. 44:17.245 --> 44:17.765 I really don't. 44:17.805 --> 44:18.866 Why would I want to smell them? 44:18.886 --> 44:21.229 Because I want to feel like I'm not insane. 44:21.409 --> 44:22.330 Get James to smell them. 44:22.350 --> 44:24.252 The towels in the lobby smell. 44:24.272 --> 44:26.914 Are you saying they actually... The paper towels. 44:26.975 --> 44:27.335 No, no, no. 44:27.355 --> 44:28.196 They haven't been sick on them. 44:28.576 --> 44:29.897 It's the way they're manufactured. 44:30.578 --> 44:30.898 Smell that. 44:30.918 --> 44:31.499 Oh, no, that's not. 44:31.899 --> 44:34.140 No, that smells more like a burnt, like a match. 44:34.540 --> 44:34.780 What? 44:34.800 --> 44:35.741 Like a struck match. 44:36.581 --> 44:37.401 No, it never is. 44:38.042 --> 44:38.902 That is vomit. 44:39.322 --> 44:41.603 That is the smell, the pure smell of vomit. 44:42.684 --> 44:44.565 Like try washing your hands and then drying them with that. 44:44.625 --> 44:48.447 My hands... No, it doesn't smell anything like what you're suggesting it smells like. 44:48.467 --> 44:48.787 It's disgusting. 44:48.807 --> 44:49.767 Does it to you, James? 44:49.787 --> 44:51.088 That's a touch of it. 44:51.388 --> 44:54.469 Well, you know, a touch of vomit. 44:55.429 --> 45:02.811 I went into a big department store yesterday to get some of my Christmas presents sorted and I went into the perfume section. 45:02.851 --> 45:06.812 Like, do you ever buy your lady partner sort of classic lady gifts? 45:07.913 --> 45:13.434 You know, I don't think I have ever bought her perfume or like underwear or something like that. 45:13.454 --> 45:14.634 Did you get some free squirts? 45:14.834 --> 45:16.935 Yeah, I got a couple of free squirties from the ladies. 45:17.075 --> 45:17.435 Really? 45:17.875 --> 45:18.535 Did they squirt? 45:18.755 --> 45:20.716 Man smells on you or lady smell. 45:21.116 --> 45:21.816 Oh, I don't know. 45:22.557 --> 45:23.737 It's disgusting. 45:24.578 --> 45:25.358 Why was it disgusting? 45:25.378 --> 45:27.459 The idea of them squirting lady smells on me. 45:27.479 --> 45:27.879 Come on. 45:28.360 --> 45:28.860 It's lovely. 45:29.000 --> 45:31.541 Anyway, a lot of the smells are gender ambiguous now. 45:31.601 --> 45:32.081 That's right. 45:32.101 --> 45:32.322 Yeah. 45:32.622 --> 45:32.822 Yeah. 45:32.882 --> 45:33.082 Yeah. 45:33.482 --> 45:36.163 But I mean, this is a cliche, but why is it? 45:36.203 --> 45:39.185 It's one of those cliches that is never really properly accounted for. 45:39.305 --> 45:40.545 Well, I suppose it's self-evident. 45:42.587 --> 45:48.452 It's a cliche that you go into those makeup counters in the perfume areas in those big department stores. 45:48.872 --> 45:52.215 And the ladies in there, I mean, they look insane. 45:52.375 --> 45:54.077 They've got so much makeup on. 45:54.097 --> 45:55.258 It's just mad. 45:55.518 --> 46:03.865 But you think if they were selling you makeup and stuff and beauty products, then maybe they would apply them with some kind of restraint in order to make the idea appealing somehow. 46:03.865 --> 46:08.226 Well, it's like a kid working in a sweet shop, isn't it, putting on lots of weight. 46:08.306 --> 46:12.308 They just get excited with all those products around and can't help but slap it all over. 46:12.448 --> 46:13.768 Smear it all over themselves. 46:13.848 --> 46:16.509 And the other thing is they often have quite bad skin, I've noticed. 46:16.789 --> 46:18.630 Well, because they've got much too much makeup on. 46:18.710 --> 46:21.410 Yeah, but do you think one that was... Definitely. 46:21.430 --> 46:26.232 Yeah, if you wear too much makeup, it'll mess up your skin eventually. 46:26.492 --> 46:26.852 Surely. 46:27.132 --> 46:28.273 What department store was it? 46:28.493 --> 46:29.133 You couldn't say. 46:29.873 --> 46:35.099 No, it was a department store favoured by the cast of Absolutely Fabulous, I remember. 46:35.799 --> 46:36.981 And so it's one of the biggies. 46:37.822 --> 46:39.924 I was just wandering around in a daze in there. 46:39.944 --> 46:43.848 There's some extraordinary people who goes to those places. 46:44.909 --> 46:46.931 And Uncle Buckles looked quite out of place. 46:46.971 --> 46:48.713 I looked like a sort of tramp that had wandered in. 46:49.514 --> 46:50.715 Everyone was saying, can I help you? 46:50.995 --> 46:52.237 What are you doing here, subtext? 46:52.897 --> 46:55.519 And I went into the lingerie section. 46:55.559 --> 46:56.580 I was wandering around in there. 46:56.600 --> 47:01.223 And now I love the lingerie section of a major department store because of some of the imagery around the place. 47:01.243 --> 47:01.523 Of course. 47:01.884 --> 47:05.266 It's a very lovely atmosphere for a man to walk into. 47:05.926 --> 47:06.747 Terribly lacy. 47:06.907 --> 47:19.316 Don't you ever feel like, because I was genuinely shopping there for, I hope my wife's not listening to this bit otherwise one of her surprises is going to be ruined, but I was genuinely doing some wife-based shopping in there, but I always feel as if I have to tell people 47:19.936 --> 47:22.718 Otherwise, they might think I'm just going in there. 47:22.798 --> 47:23.619 Or just ogling. 47:24.099 --> 47:25.561 I just come in to look at knickknocks. 47:26.401 --> 47:27.462 There's nothing wrong with that. 47:27.802 --> 47:28.163 Is there not? 47:28.483 --> 47:31.265 No, it can keep a man who's in mental difficulty sane. 47:31.845 --> 47:42.694 I always... Because invariably, I'm the only man wandering around the lingerie department, especially with my backpack on and stuff, and I just look like a bit of a tourist. 47:43.394 --> 47:43.594 Yeah. 47:45.956 --> 47:47.898 Anyway, here's some music right now. 47:47.998 --> 47:57.445 You know what we're going to do shortly, listeners, is we're going to play some of the continuing efforts of genius that you have sent in on our radio songs, like our radio rambles. 47:58.105 --> 47:59.106 We're going to do that after this. 47:59.186 --> 48:03.089 This is Frankie and the Heartstrings. 48:03.489 --> 48:05.531 You don't sound particularly confident about that. 48:05.551 --> 48:06.992 I was reading it. 48:07.232 --> 48:09.754 The end of it was cut off by the computer screen there. 48:09.774 --> 48:11.435 Anyway, this is a boring story. 48:12.216 --> 48:13.517 Frankie and the Heartstrings with Hunger. 48:14.224 --> 48:14.664 There you go. 48:14.905 --> 48:16.646 That was Frankie and the Heartstrings. 48:16.786 --> 48:17.667 They're a five piece. 48:17.687 --> 48:19.928 They played their first gig last Christmas. 48:20.289 --> 48:20.949 Ah, well done them. 48:21.089 --> 48:27.634 And have been grafting solidly for a year while holding down full-time jobs, working in schools, social care and charity shops. 48:27.674 --> 48:30.296 You know, that's what I want to hear about a contemporary band. 48:30.316 --> 48:32.037 They're doing something useful for society. 48:32.057 --> 48:32.898 Yeah, proper jobs. 48:32.938 --> 48:33.879 They should be supported. 48:33.939 --> 48:35.740 Well done, Frankie and the Heartstrings. 48:35.780 --> 48:37.562 This is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music. 48:37.842 --> 48:41.645 Now, if you're a regular listener, you might know that a few weeks ago, months ago, 48:42.245 --> 48:50.931 years ago even, we did some random singing on the show Apropos of Nothing and a listener decided to sample that singing and put it to music. 48:51.471 --> 49:07.822 Since then this whole thing has snowballed, these two random bits of inconsequential singing were put up on the blog and we asked you to see what you could do with them, whether you could turn them into jingles and we've had an avalanche of entries showing off our listeners amazing production and sort of home studio recording skills, right? 49:07.902 --> 49:11.765 Yeah and they've done it for no particular reason other than pure joie de vivre 49:12.325 --> 49:12.785 Ooh-la-la! 49:12.965 --> 49:14.006 Ooh-la-la! 49:14.026 --> 49:18.308 So we must have got about 25 different attempts during the week. 49:18.589 --> 49:18.769 Yeah. 49:19.009 --> 49:19.269 Yeah? 49:19.649 --> 49:26.493 And we're going to play you some of the best of those right now whilst saying how grateful we are to every single person who had a go at this. 49:26.513 --> 49:26.893 Mm-hmm. 49:26.913 --> 49:29.535 Because we got some terrific entries, didn't we? 49:29.635 --> 49:30.015 Entries? 49:30.415 --> 49:31.256 It's not really an entry. 49:31.276 --> 49:32.056 There's nothing to enter. 49:32.336 --> 49:32.696 Submissions. 49:32.716 --> 49:33.637 Submissions, exactly. 49:34.117 --> 49:46.671 Here's one right now from someone who calls himself Jake aka just another DJ This is the radio one James, and he says good day cornholio and swashbuckules That's very nice Monica's there. 49:46.731 --> 49:47.412 Thank you very much. 49:47.492 --> 49:47.772 Jake. 49:48.233 --> 49:51.396 He says I made a remix 49:52.037 --> 49:55.078 Lots of E's, M's, I's and X's there of Adam's song. 49:55.439 --> 49:59.020 I'm pretty sure you won't be able to play it on air though because I use a lot of samples. 49:59.520 --> 50:01.561 Don't worry man, it's cool. 50:01.621 --> 50:02.922 We're rolling with it, yeah? 50:03.302 --> 50:05.623 He says he's done it in an old-school hip-hop style. 50:05.663 --> 50:06.083 Here it is. 50:06.103 --> 50:13.527 This song is playing on the radio. 50:13.947 --> 50:16.048 Hey-o, come on, let's go. 50:16.308 --> 50:18.209 Listen to the song on the radio. 50:31.176 --> 50:58.295 very good thanks a lot Jake aka just another DJ think there was a bit of naughty by nature in there wasn't there think you're right can you identify any of the other ones ah no I think impeach the president by the honey dippers and shadow of your smile by Jack McDuff as well as hip hop hooray very beautifully done 50:58.655 --> 50:59.616 Yeah, nice work. 51:00.016 --> 51:00.797 Here's another one right now. 51:00.857 --> 51:04.260 This is from Joe Marsh from Widnes. 51:04.960 --> 51:06.782 And he says, this one's a bit more weird. 51:06.802 --> 51:09.324 This is the Adam and Joe remix, James. 51:09.784 --> 51:16.690 And he says, I've been making music using the dead pixel and Joe and bass aliases for a few months now. 51:18.031 --> 51:21.853 I've got a much better song on YouTube if you fancy checking it out, y'all. 51:22.393 --> 51:24.995 Hope you're not away for too long, he says. 51:25.355 --> 51:28.156 I've been meaning to try and do something with those samples on the blog for ages. 51:28.236 --> 51:31.878 Not totally happy with the outcome, but I wanted to get it sent to you before you leave. 51:32.239 --> 51:34.760 Cheers, Joe Marsh from Witness, and here's what he's come up with. 51:34.780 --> 51:38.382 This is quite insane, and it's the Adam and Joe song remix. 51:46.697 --> 51:47.257 Hey ho! 51:47.437 --> 51:47.958 Come on, let's go! 51:47.978 --> 51:49.118 Bum is playing on the right, yo! 51:49.138 --> 51:49.318 Hey ho! 51:49.338 --> 51:49.659 Come on, let's go! 51:49.679 --> 51:50.799 Listen to the song on the right, yo! 51:50.819 --> 51:52.520 This is the song that is playing right now, now, now! 51:52.540 --> 51:53.640 This is the song that is playing right now, now, now! 51:53.660 --> 51:55.241 This is the song that is playing right now! 51:55.301 --> 51:56.622 This is the song that is playing right now! 51:56.662 --> 51:57.842 This is the song that is playing right now! 51:57.862 --> 51:59.263 This is the song that is playing right now! 51:59.343 --> 52:01.044 This is the song that is playing right now! 52:01.064 --> 52:02.344 This is the song that is playing right now! 52:02.364 --> 52:03.665 This is the song that is playing right now! 52:03.685 --> 52:05.086 This is the song that is playing right now! 52:05.126 --> 52:06.246 This is the song that is playing right now! 52:06.266 --> 52:07.227 This is the song that is playing right now! 52:07.247 --> 52:08.647 This is the song that is playing right now! 52:08.667 --> 52:09.988 This is the song that is playing right now! 52:10.028 --> 52:11.328 This is the song that is playing right now! 52:11.348 --> 52:12.509 This is the song that is playing right now! 52:12.529 --> 52:13.930 This is the song that is playing right now! 52:14.010 --> 52:14.750 This is the song that is 52:32.343 --> 52:34.665 It's like a twin meets art of noise, isn't it? 52:34.685 --> 52:36.006 It's amazing meets yellow. 52:36.506 --> 52:37.187 That was good. 52:37.267 --> 52:38.027 Very beautiful. 52:38.888 --> 52:39.548 Very challenging. 52:39.608 --> 52:41.670 It's really making me think about a lot of things. 52:41.710 --> 52:45.853 Yeah, robots and technology and whether we should be exploiting the robots. 52:45.873 --> 52:46.233 Yeah. 52:46.273 --> 52:46.373 Yeah. 52:46.393 --> 52:46.574 Yeah. 52:46.854 --> 52:47.174 Yeah. 52:47.274 --> 52:48.355 And one day they're going to rise up. 52:48.535 --> 52:51.817 I mean, it's just modern day slavery is not a war against us because they're not human. 52:51.857 --> 52:52.998 Doesn't mean they don't have feelings. 52:53.018 --> 52:53.839 You know, there's an interesting film 52:53.899 --> 52:54.319 about this. 52:54.679 --> 52:56.340 It's called Terminator Salvation. 52:57.121 --> 52:59.742 And it answers a lot of your questions. 53:00.422 --> 53:02.363 You should really watch it very carefully. 53:02.383 --> 53:03.084 I saw that film the other day. 53:03.104 --> 53:04.244 We should discuss that later. 53:04.345 --> 53:04.965 Have you seen it? 53:05.485 --> 53:06.466 Yes, I saw it the other day. 53:08.307 --> 53:09.487 Let's have a little chat about that. 53:09.547 --> 53:13.289 Finally, here, if this was a competition, I dare say this might be the winner. 53:13.609 --> 53:15.991 This is Magic John from Shepherd's Bush who sent this in. 53:16.031 --> 53:19.873 He says, Hi Adam and Joe, I had originally dismissed the idea of doing one of these. 53:20.473 --> 53:21.073 He dismissed it. 53:21.093 --> 53:25.394 And then I drank a bottle of wine and decided it was a very good idea indeed. 53:25.414 --> 53:27.595 Here's what he came up with. 53:54.656 --> 54:23.831 This song is playing on the radio Hey oh, come on, let's go Listen to the song on the radio Listen to the song on the radio Listen to the song on the radio Listen to the song on the radio Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now Listen to the song that is playing right now 54:28.490 --> 54:29.070 Extraordinary. 54:29.310 --> 54:37.332 You know, it sort of makes the fact that contemporary pop music uses different lyrics for each song seem absurd. 54:37.592 --> 54:37.932 Right. 54:37.992 --> 54:42.313 It would be better if there was just one set of lyrics for all pop. 54:42.553 --> 54:44.934 And everyone had to just use the same... Everyone would know the words. 54:44.954 --> 54:45.554 Resource, yeah. 54:45.754 --> 54:48.895 And then you would just change the melody and the production style. 54:48.935 --> 54:50.415 That's how music's going to be in the future. 54:50.495 --> 54:51.255 That's how it should be. 54:51.795 --> 54:54.576 And also that would solve a lot of copyright issues and stuff. 54:54.596 --> 54:54.896 A lot. 54:54.916 --> 54:55.496 And a lot of time. 54:55.556 --> 54:56.377 Save a lot of time. 54:58.357 --> 54:59.158 Well done, man. 54:59.198 --> 54:59.959 What a good idea. 54:59.979 --> 55:01.420 You have stumbled on a good idea. 55:01.661 --> 55:04.684 Thank you so much to everybody who sent in those songs. 55:04.724 --> 55:07.807 You know, as usual, we listen to them all and we're just sorry that we can't play them all. 55:08.067 --> 55:14.434 But we have put a lot of them up on the blog, bbc.co.uk, slash blogs, slash Adam and Joe. 55:14.694 --> 55:18.338 We'll be putting up more as well, even after we're off the air. 55:18.678 --> 55:20.719 Thanks also to Hannah and Oscar Davis. 55:20.799 --> 55:21.779 They're aged 12 and 14. 55:21.839 --> 55:26.041 We're going to put your song up on the blog in the next week or two, so look out for it then. 55:26.361 --> 55:27.921 We really enjoyed listening to all of those. 55:28.402 --> 55:29.042 Cheers, listeners. 55:29.342 --> 55:32.323 Here's Rufus Wainwright right now, and this is Spotlight on Christmas. 55:32.563 --> 55:34.944 Rufus Wainwright there with Spotlight on Christmas. 55:36.004 --> 55:37.845 Is that a recent Christmas song that he's done there, James? 55:37.885 --> 55:40.266 Or is that one from a few years ago? 55:40.806 --> 55:43.307 He's not competing with the old Bob Dylan there. 55:43.829 --> 55:47.851 We might have a little bit of Bob Dylan Christmas music for you later on, listeners, even. 55:48.071 --> 55:48.792 That would be great. 55:48.992 --> 55:51.113 Yeah, made up Bob Dylan Christmas music. 55:51.153 --> 55:52.274 Oh, that's less great. 55:52.594 --> 55:53.815 That's not so great. 55:54.235 --> 55:57.697 So listen, I had my haircut last week. 55:58.117 --> 55:58.898 Nice job. 55:59.138 --> 55:59.898 You're looking good, man. 55:59.958 --> 56:00.438 Do you think? 56:00.478 --> 56:00.659 Yeah. 56:00.999 --> 56:11.805 Someone texted in quite a... Someone's obviously looking at us on the webcam and someone texted in a text saying they thought I looked like Jim Carrey from Dumb and Dumber. 56:12.561 --> 56:13.363 Oh, a little bit of a bokeh. 56:13.383 --> 56:14.144 Yeah, here we go. 56:14.325 --> 56:16.448 Joe, I strongly advise you change your haircut. 56:16.488 --> 56:18.753 You look a bit like Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber. 56:18.853 --> 56:19.033 What? 56:19.753 --> 56:20.334 Who's that from? 56:20.354 --> 56:21.695 That's an anonymous coward. 56:21.735 --> 56:22.956 Anonymous. 56:22.976 --> 56:24.117 The rest of the text is very nice. 56:24.698 --> 56:25.419 No, I think they're right. 56:25.439 --> 56:26.740 I only read it out because I think they're right. 56:26.780 --> 56:31.725 Because what happened was he was cutting it really well and I stuck my oar in. 56:31.765 --> 56:33.066 Do you ever do this at the barber? 56:33.166 --> 56:34.007 I'm always too timid. 56:34.267 --> 56:35.108 I looked in the mirror. 56:35.148 --> 56:36.710 I thought, this isn't quite right yet. 56:36.770 --> 56:38.691 I'd better tell him how to do his job. 56:38.711 --> 56:39.472 Hand on the shoulder. 56:39.712 --> 56:40.033 Yeah. 56:40.213 --> 56:43.456 So I said, look, I think it should be a bit shorter around the ears. 56:44.497 --> 56:45.978 And I started really enjoying this. 56:46.178 --> 56:46.999 Yeah, ears are in. 56:47.119 --> 56:47.599 Ears are in. 56:47.619 --> 56:48.720 Ears are the hot thing. 56:48.760 --> 56:48.940 Yeah. 56:49.100 --> 56:49.300 Yeah. 56:49.340 --> 56:50.481 Bring the ears out a bit more. 56:50.501 --> 56:51.182 I thought, this is right. 56:51.202 --> 56:51.542 This is good. 56:51.562 --> 56:52.643 I'm improving this haircut. 56:52.963 --> 56:53.664 Do you ever do that? 56:54.104 --> 56:54.644 No, I never do. 56:54.664 --> 56:58.667 I shouldn't have stuck my oar in because I think it's too short around the ears. 56:58.747 --> 56:59.067 Yeah. 56:59.267 --> 57:00.488 And I've been worried about this. 57:00.568 --> 57:02.009 My girlfriend said, she said, 57:02.950 --> 57:04.411 Well, it just needs to settle in a bit. 57:04.431 --> 57:06.453 She said it needed to grow in. 57:06.954 --> 57:07.894 So I've been worrying. 57:07.934 --> 57:08.315 Don't worry. 57:08.355 --> 57:09.936 A too short haircut sets this off, right? 57:09.976 --> 57:10.817 And now this text comes. 57:10.897 --> 57:14.881 Well, that's just vocalising my neurosis. 57:15.361 --> 57:17.843 I think I look like Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber. 57:18.204 --> 57:18.864 He's very amiable. 57:18.904 --> 57:20.185 Is this sort of a bowl cut? 57:21.567 --> 57:22.407 Is it a bowl cut? 57:23.308 --> 57:24.809 You can't tell because the headphones are on. 57:25.110 --> 57:26.731 No, I know what they mean. 57:26.751 --> 57:29.113 I thought that was what you'd gone for. 57:29.213 --> 57:31.255 But there's a life lesson to be learned, isn't there? 57:31.596 --> 57:31.776 Yeah. 57:32.116 --> 57:33.657 Don't interfere at the hairdresser. 57:33.677 --> 57:35.219 Don't tell the professionals what they're doing. 57:35.439 --> 57:35.599 No. 57:35.699 --> 57:39.282 They sometimes tell you to bring a photo in, don't they, of what you want to look like? 57:40.043 --> 57:46.068 What I do is I always am too weedy to say, have things like a lot you're taking off there, can you stop them? 57:46.849 --> 57:49.873 Because there's always a point where you think, yeah, that's just about right. 57:49.993 --> 57:51.195 And then they carry on for 20 minutes. 57:51.215 --> 57:51.916 They get carried away. 57:51.936 --> 57:53.618 Well, they're chatting about something, aren't they? 57:53.658 --> 57:54.018 Yeah. 57:54.178 --> 57:55.720 Or listening to weird music or something. 57:55.740 --> 57:57.242 And you think maybe they're not concentrating. 57:57.262 --> 57:58.524 They're just on autopilot. 57:59.225 --> 58:00.326 And they've gone too far. 58:00.747 --> 58:02.309 But I'm making this announcement publicly. 58:02.329 --> 58:03.210 I'm never going to do that again. 58:03.430 --> 58:03.550 No. 58:03.590 --> 58:05.091 I'm just going to trust the hairdresser. 58:05.251 --> 58:05.491 Sure. 58:05.591 --> 58:10.133 And I'd like to advise any young people out there who might make the same mistake in life. 58:10.173 --> 58:10.373 Don't. 58:10.693 --> 58:11.213 Don't do that. 58:11.273 --> 58:12.494 Trust the expert. 58:12.534 --> 58:13.454 Trust the hairdresser. 58:13.594 --> 58:13.755 Yeah. 58:13.955 --> 58:16.756 If you think what they're doing looks a bit wrong, it's not. 58:16.816 --> 58:19.197 When you get home, it'll turn beautiful. 58:19.297 --> 58:20.618 Did you have a sexy hairdresser? 58:20.798 --> 58:20.978 No. 58:21.078 --> 58:22.038 Well, yeah, sexy man. 58:22.258 --> 58:22.738 Sexy man. 58:22.838 --> 58:23.059 Yeah. 58:23.159 --> 58:24.259 Was he leaning into you a little bit? 58:24.839 --> 58:25.620 No, no. 58:25.800 --> 58:26.200 He doesn't. 58:26.240 --> 58:27.701 That's why I'm a repeat customer. 58:27.921 --> 58:28.341 Right, right. 58:28.361 --> 58:30.342 He doesn't press his julies against my shoulder. 58:31.602 --> 58:34.504 Sometimes it's quite erotic. 58:35.464 --> 58:39.966 When they press their bits against your body when they're reaching to do the sideburns. 58:39.986 --> 58:40.407 I like it. 58:40.767 --> 58:43.108 But then do you not move your elbow away? 58:43.564 --> 58:44.244 No, I lean in. 58:44.264 --> 58:46.305 I lean back in. 58:46.705 --> 58:48.046 You reciprocate the pressure. 58:48.066 --> 58:48.566 Yeah, sure I do. 58:48.766 --> 58:49.006 Yeah. 58:49.786 --> 58:51.227 I do it instead of a tip sometimes. 58:51.467 --> 58:51.707 What? 58:53.647 --> 58:54.088 Lean in. 58:54.668 --> 58:55.288 Reciprocate. 58:55.868 --> 58:58.809 Listen, you better kick off this free play here, James. 58:58.989 --> 58:59.649 What have you got for us? 58:59.829 --> 59:00.870 This is a bit of Vangelis. 59:00.890 --> 59:03.011 This is from the film Laidlana. 59:03.631 --> 59:04.391 Laidlana. 59:04.411 --> 59:06.152 Have you ever seen the film Laidlana? 59:06.432 --> 59:06.792 Yes. 59:07.232 --> 59:08.652 It's directed by Liddly Lutt. 59:10.333 --> 59:11.294 Is that how you pronounce it? 59:11.334 --> 59:12.194 I never realised. 59:12.715 --> 59:13.996 It's a bad space man on Roberts. 59:14.016 --> 59:15.577 It's the best man on Roberts. 59:15.697 --> 59:17.919 And here's a beautiful piece of music. 59:17.939 --> 59:20.220 This is one of the all time great soundtracks, isn't it? 59:20.280 --> 59:21.461 And we should stop talking over it. 59:21.501 --> 59:23.503 This is my favourite version because it's got spaceship noises. 59:23.523 --> 59:24.303 What's it called this one? 59:24.484 --> 59:25.745 Memories of Green by Vangelis. 59:25.765 --> 59:28.386 You need to turn this up, listeners, and chill all the way out. 59:29.548 --> 59:30.168 What's he doing there? 59:30.189 --> 59:32.472 Is he sipping his whiskey with his blood dripping into it? 59:32.632 --> 59:33.093 Deckard? 59:33.173 --> 59:33.713 Yeah, Deckard. 59:33.733 --> 59:34.775 Something like that, yeah. 59:35.977 --> 59:38.019 I might give that film another watch this weekend. 59:38.160 --> 59:41.745 That is one of those films that I happily watch once a year, you know what I mean? 59:41.765 --> 59:43.567 That and Alien. 59:44.048 --> 59:44.709 In fact, pretty much. 59:45.009 --> 59:46.071 And Terminator 4. 59:46.611 --> 59:48.613 And The Holiday with Russell Crowe. 59:48.633 --> 59:49.413 Is it called The Holiday? 59:50.094 --> 59:50.354 No. 59:50.374 --> 59:51.054 A good year. 59:51.295 --> 59:51.815 A good year. 59:51.835 --> 59:52.635 That's the one. 59:52.656 --> 59:55.377 And The Holiday with Jack Black and Cameron Diaz. 59:55.438 --> 59:55.798 Yes. 59:56.458 --> 59:57.399 Great movies. 59:57.599 --> 59:58.119 I watch those. 59:58.220 --> 59:59.160 Actually, I watch that every month. 59:59.400 --> 01:00:00.001 Great movies. 01:00:00.361 --> 01:00:01.082 Great times. 01:00:01.402 --> 01:00:02.503 Great C6 music. 01:00:02.543 --> 01:00:03.063 Hey, mate. 01:00:03.443 --> 01:00:03.944 Yes, mate. 01:00:03.964 --> 01:00:06.686 Did you know there's a couple of DJ fellas, right? 01:00:06.766 --> 01:00:07.046 Right. 01:00:07.286 --> 01:00:12.570 They're called Hamish and Andy and they're big in Australia back home in Oz. 01:00:12.590 --> 01:00:13.450 Oh, of course I do. 01:00:13.651 --> 01:00:13.951 I'm made. 01:00:13.971 --> 01:00:15.472 Did you not know I am Australian? 01:00:15.672 --> 01:00:16.452 Yeah, I did know. 01:00:16.532 --> 01:00:19.634 Can you not tell by my extremely authentic Australian accent? 01:00:19.874 --> 01:00:22.935 Sure, you've been living in Brisbane for a while, mate. 01:00:22.955 --> 01:00:25.136 I've been living in watching Neighbours for 10 years, 10 years ago. 01:00:25.177 --> 01:00:26.297 You've been watching Neighbours. 01:00:26.677 --> 01:00:29.418 Anyway, Hamish and Andy are coming to BBC Six Music. 01:00:29.439 --> 01:00:32.180 Do you think in any way they would find this patronising and offensive? 01:00:32.240 --> 01:00:32.980 No, they'd love it. 01:00:33.000 --> 01:00:33.921 They would love it, mate. 01:00:33.941 --> 01:00:34.641 They would love it, mate. 01:00:34.741 --> 01:00:38.883 Come on, let's go surfing with a lager, mate. 01:00:39.443 --> 01:00:40.584 Look, watch out for this drip. 01:00:40.644 --> 01:00:41.124 It's Silla again. 01:00:41.364 --> 01:00:43.105 Silla's creeping into that voice as well. 01:00:43.365 --> 01:00:44.565 She's a tower. 01:00:45.066 --> 01:00:46.346 She's a sickness. 01:00:46.666 --> 01:00:47.606 She's an awful sickness. 01:00:47.646 --> 01:00:49.147 This is why we're coming off air. 01:00:49.327 --> 01:00:55.869 We're having Scylla removed from Adam's bones like you would try and remove adamantium from Wolverine. 01:00:55.889 --> 01:00:57.930 Because it's infected. 01:00:57.990 --> 01:01:01.831 It's infected everything. 01:01:01.991 --> 01:01:03.591 It's like the Hitler of routines. 01:01:03.971 --> 01:01:05.312 It's all merged into one. 01:01:06.314 --> 01:01:06.634 What now? 01:01:06.654 --> 01:01:08.494 We're gonna have this jingle from the Australian theatre. 01:01:08.514 --> 01:01:09.174 This is the trail. 01:01:09.255 --> 01:01:11.835 We talked up the trail quite a lot there, listeners, didn't we? 01:01:12.075 --> 01:01:14.855 We might even include the trail in the podcast now! 01:01:15.196 --> 01:01:15.596 First! 01:01:15.776 --> 01:01:16.416 Come on! 01:01:16.676 --> 01:01:17.876 Here they are! 01:01:18.236 --> 01:01:19.296 Hey, mission ending! 01:01:19.436 --> 01:01:20.376 This is some sixth music. 01:01:20.776 --> 01:01:24.857 Oh, you're a poor lot in the rain, the snow and the cold of Britain. 01:01:24.897 --> 01:01:28.418 Must be so miserable on the drizzle and the long nights. 01:01:28.478 --> 01:01:29.358 Must be awful. 01:01:29.438 --> 01:01:29.838 Yeah. 01:01:29.878 --> 01:01:30.778 How's the beach today, mate? 01:01:30.798 --> 01:01:31.538 Mate, terrific. 01:01:31.578 --> 01:01:32.458 Great surf. 01:01:32.718 --> 01:01:33.339 How's your barbie? 01:01:33.439 --> 01:01:34.519 Oh, perfect weather. 01:01:34.539 --> 01:01:35.499 Yeah, really awesome. 01:01:35.859 --> 01:01:37.420 The hottest thing from down under. 01:01:37.480 --> 01:01:38.400 Hamish and Andy. 01:01:38.621 --> 01:01:40.682 Monday is the shortest day of the year in the UK. 01:01:40.722 --> 01:01:42.443 But in Australia, it's the longest. 01:01:42.523 --> 01:01:42.903 The hottest. 01:01:42.963 --> 01:01:44.164 It's generally the best. 01:01:44.244 --> 01:01:44.984 We are rubbing that in. 01:01:45.064 --> 01:01:50.928 But to warm you all up, Six Music are playing some of the best live tracks from the summer festivals and other generally warming tunes. 01:01:51.088 --> 01:01:57.131 And from Four on Monday, we'll be bringing you a little virtual slice of Australian sunshine via our radio show. 01:01:57.231 --> 01:01:59.432 Six Music's Midwinter Warmer. 01:02:00.013 --> 01:02:00.733 All next week. 01:02:00.873 --> 01:02:04.035 And join Hamish and Andy Monday afternoon from Four. 01:02:04.415 --> 01:02:05.396 on sex music. 01:02:06.497 --> 01:02:10.781 Mate, did you find that Hamish and Andy were a little bit of feminine sounding there? 01:02:11.301 --> 01:02:14.484 I thought they were a little bit stereotypical, to be perfectly honest. 01:02:14.604 --> 01:02:18.388 Well, they were talking about Barbies and shrimps and stuff like that, weren't they? 01:02:18.628 --> 01:02:19.869 But I think that was a joke. 01:02:20.369 --> 01:02:21.771 Yeah, well, I was sort of joking, mate. 01:02:21.791 --> 01:02:22.872 I was trying to flip it round. 01:02:23.412 --> 01:02:23.993 Double flip! 01:02:24.553 --> 01:02:25.514 You flipped it back. 01:02:25.534 --> 01:02:26.735 I didn't realise. 01:02:26.775 --> 01:02:27.696 You flipped it and killed it. 01:02:29.807 --> 01:02:32.768 You pulled it out of the tank, popped it on the side and let it die. 01:02:34.408 --> 01:02:35.548 I'm so sorry. 01:02:35.928 --> 01:02:36.768 Here's R.E.M. 01:02:39.429 --> 01:02:42.550 That's a bop chord at the end they've got. 01:02:42.570 --> 01:02:42.870 R.E.M. 01:02:42.910 --> 01:02:45.930 with the one I love, Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 01:02:46.431 --> 01:02:48.131 Should we steam into some made up jokes? 01:02:48.851 --> 01:02:50.391 I don't know whether we should steam into them. 01:02:51.152 --> 01:02:52.412 What do you want to do, waddle into them? 01:02:53.252 --> 01:02:53.932 Yeah, sidle. 01:02:54.392 --> 01:02:55.252 Sidle? 01:02:55.553 --> 01:02:57.133 Let's sidle into some made up jokes. 01:02:58.133 --> 01:03:15.006 I'm a funny person, I often make up jokes My jokes are more amusing than those of other folks When you hear my joke I think you'll find that you agree Come on, you're all invited to a made-up joke party 01:03:16.383 --> 01:03:16.903 There we are. 01:03:17.003 --> 01:03:20.965 And now the made up jokes section of this show, listeners, is for authored jokes. 01:03:21.005 --> 01:03:26.007 It's not for bad jokes, or good jokes, or jokes you've heard from somebody else or read. 01:03:26.367 --> 01:03:28.348 It's for jokes that you've made up yourself. 01:03:28.508 --> 01:03:31.089 Because otherwise it would just be a boring jokes section. 01:03:31.129 --> 01:03:31.389 Yeah. 01:03:31.569 --> 01:03:33.570 And they've got made up jokes, not made up jokes. 01:03:33.590 --> 01:03:35.331 Everybody does just funny jokes. 01:03:35.771 --> 01:03:39.112 These are jokes specifically authored by our listeners. 01:03:39.172 --> 01:03:40.552 So they're very, very special. 01:03:40.592 --> 01:03:44.453 And as you know, we have quite a serious ratification process. 01:03:44.493 --> 01:03:45.634 We put these jokes through. 01:03:45.654 --> 01:03:48.174 It involves Googling the keywords and seeing what comes up. 01:03:48.254 --> 01:03:49.635 Google the punchline there a little bit. 01:03:50.015 --> 01:03:52.756 And if we get hits, then the joke simply isn't read out. 01:03:52.956 --> 01:03:56.057 Joe, man, we got sent some homemade crackers. 01:03:56.077 --> 01:03:57.517 I know we should talk about them later. 01:03:57.537 --> 01:03:58.897 Otherwise we'll get feature pile up. 01:03:59.037 --> 01:03:59.638 We'll get feature eyes. 01:03:59.658 --> 01:04:00.998 But these have got jokes in them, haven't they? 01:04:01.518 --> 01:04:03.279 Yeah, but we should oh, that's true. 01:04:03.640 --> 01:04:04.560 Well, let's pull a cracker. 01:04:04.580 --> 01:04:10.284 These were sent in by Richard Holt in London He says please find enclosed six Christmas crackers. 01:04:11.085 --> 01:04:21.652 Oh, I won These are no ordinary high street impulse purchases No each of these contain a made-up joke pains taking the inserted in place of the original by my own fair hand Thank you so much Richard Holt. 01:04:21.692 --> 01:04:25.574 We really appreciate that so we saw we've no idea what kind of jokes He's gonna come up. 01:04:25.614 --> 01:04:29.977 I'm gonna put my first Christmas hat on Christmas hat on Eric Christmas hat of the year. 01:04:30.017 --> 01:04:31.018 This is exciting, isn't it? 01:04:31.118 --> 01:04:31.258 quest. 01:04:31.318 --> 01:04:33.540 Which was Quentin Tarantino's most disappointing film? 01:04:33.560 --> 01:04:33.821 Which one? 01:04:33.861 --> 01:04:34.922 We opened one earlier, it was quite funny. 01:04:34.962 --> 01:04:35.803 The answer is Ill Bill. 01:04:48.815 --> 01:04:55.257 Now that's, that is a made up joke, but of course that came out of a cracker so we didn't have a chance to vet that. 01:04:55.537 --> 01:04:59.999 And when I'm not saying it's a bad joke, it's just not necessarily up to the tip top standards. 01:05:00.019 --> 01:05:02.779 Here's the one I got in my cracker which I pulled earlier on. 01:05:03.260 --> 01:05:07.261 Which actor is also the best way to open a jar of pickles? 01:05:08.121 --> 01:05:08.601 I don't know. 01:05:08.982 --> 01:05:10.142 Chris Twistofferson. 01:05:10.402 --> 01:05:11.663 You see that's okay, isn't it? 01:05:11.803 --> 01:05:12.003 Nice. 01:05:12.123 --> 01:05:14.645 Adam, are you worried that you lost the cracker pool twice today? 01:05:14.665 --> 01:05:17.426 Do you think you've got bad cracker mojo this year? 01:05:17.466 --> 01:05:17.927 Cracker karma. 01:05:18.707 --> 01:05:20.728 Do you get depressed if you pull a cracker at Christmas? 01:05:20.768 --> 01:05:24.931 It's one of the very few areas that I've managed to be magnanimous in my life. 01:05:24.971 --> 01:05:26.732 You've matured your way out of having a... 01:05:27.512 --> 01:05:31.196 I swear, I no longer throw strops when my sons get the main barrel. 01:05:31.496 --> 01:05:33.037 Okay, listen, let's get to the main content. 01:05:33.498 --> 01:05:34.599 Here are some made-up jokes. 01:05:34.899 --> 01:05:38.022 This is from the Dunk... No, the Durkan Brothers in Dublin. 01:05:38.202 --> 01:05:38.502 Durkan? 01:05:38.522 --> 01:05:41.845 So this is sort of like a songwriting duo equivalent. 01:05:41.865 --> 01:05:42.706 It's a joke writing duo. 01:05:42.726 --> 01:05:44.348 Lieberman Stoller of made-up jokes. 01:05:44.668 --> 01:05:46.749 Here's a labour joke that my brother and I made up. 01:05:47.169 --> 01:05:53.971 Why didn't the 1960s rocker like the Klingon hairpiece he won in the sci-fi convention's call of duty competition? 01:05:54.071 --> 01:05:55.152 Good setup. 01:05:55.552 --> 01:06:01.414 Why didn't the 1960s rocker like the Klingon hairpiece he won in the sci-fi convention's call of duty competition? 01:06:02.274 --> 01:06:05.757 because he saw a mod urn wharf hair 2. 01:06:06.999 --> 01:06:10.782 Now this is a very contemporary joke because it's the latest video game, right? 01:06:11.343 --> 01:06:12.824 Call of Duty Modern Wharf Hair 2. 01:06:12.904 --> 01:06:16.467 Mod urn wharf hair 2. 01:06:17.488 --> 01:06:21.432 Now you like starter air, I'm reeling from the implications. 01:06:22.653 --> 01:06:25.396 The Duncan Brothers, you are two very clever men, Durkin. 01:06:26.997 --> 01:06:29.738 Now just think about that, we'll come back to that, think about it. 01:06:29.878 --> 01:06:34.701 Are you consciously saying, now you like Star Trek as one of your best phrases? 01:06:34.721 --> 01:06:37.963 Because it winds you up. 01:06:38.123 --> 01:06:39.804 I know you don't like it. 01:06:39.824 --> 01:06:42.245 But it had a mention of Worf, he's your favourite character. 01:06:42.545 --> 01:06:45.167 I really do like Worf. 01:06:45.247 --> 01:06:46.668 Did he have his own detective series? 01:06:47.328 --> 01:06:48.669 Worf, he should have done, yes. 01:06:49.941 --> 01:06:50.941 There's a body in the basement. 01:06:50.961 --> 01:06:51.522 Do you want another one? 01:06:51.542 --> 01:06:51.982 Yes, please. 01:06:52.102 --> 01:06:53.983 Hey, I'll tell you what, look, I've got a grab bag. 01:06:54.723 --> 01:06:55.423 Oh, a pick and mix. 01:06:55.503 --> 01:06:57.844 A pick and mix, and these are all made up jokes by listeners. 01:06:57.884 --> 01:07:02.126 Yeah, that I printed out and folded up and put in an awesome bag. 01:07:02.886 --> 01:07:04.487 Okay, this is from Steve. 01:07:05.327 --> 01:07:07.128 Why does it say satisfactory at the top? 01:07:07.248 --> 01:07:10.229 Because don't worry about the title, that's just so I can remember. 01:07:11.490 --> 01:07:12.570 Have we read this one before? 01:07:12.590 --> 01:07:13.591 I think you read out the punch line. 01:07:14.284 --> 01:07:15.924 Yeah, but we've also read the whole joke before. 01:07:16.185 --> 01:07:16.625 Give me another one. 01:07:16.685 --> 01:07:18.305 Give me another one. 01:07:18.485 --> 01:07:20.286 Don't read out the title in bold. 01:07:20.326 --> 01:07:21.146 Sorry, you didn't tell me that. 01:07:21.166 --> 01:07:21.666 I'm sorry. 01:07:21.746 --> 01:07:22.186 I'm sorry. 01:07:22.406 --> 01:07:25.147 You didn't tell me you typed the punch line at the top of my tongue. 01:07:25.167 --> 01:07:25.847 Don't mind me! 01:07:26.227 --> 01:07:28.788 It's my procedure! 01:07:28.868 --> 01:07:31.089 This is from Harry O'Donnell from Essex. 01:07:31.529 --> 01:07:38.491 What do you call an elephant who is an actress in EastEnders but is set to gain an environmental role in the House of the Lords? 01:07:38.511 --> 01:07:41.832 That's a good setup. 01:07:41.872 --> 01:07:42.672 Come on, Tim Vine. 01:07:43.820 --> 01:07:44.240 I don't know. 01:07:44.260 --> 01:07:48.002 That is good! 01:07:48.022 --> 01:07:49.962 Harry O'Donnell from Essex. 01:07:50.143 --> 01:07:50.523 Wow. 01:07:51.123 --> 01:07:52.083 Hey James, you pick one. 01:07:52.403 --> 01:07:53.044 That's awesome. 01:07:53.084 --> 01:07:54.664 Come on James, you never get to talk on this show. 01:07:54.684 --> 01:07:56.425 If you're not here, I'll pass this one over. 01:07:56.445 --> 01:07:58.086 Come and take your headphones off and come round. 01:07:58.106 --> 01:07:58.586 There we go. 01:07:58.914 --> 01:07:59.454 Here you go, look. 01:07:59.874 --> 01:08:01.355 How's that one? 01:08:01.395 --> 01:08:02.156 There we go. 01:08:02.176 --> 01:08:02.676 There you go. 01:08:02.696 --> 01:08:03.336 James Sterling. 01:08:03.356 --> 01:08:04.697 It's a special Christmas treat for him. 01:08:05.197 --> 01:08:05.517 Okay. 01:08:06.517 --> 01:08:09.919 What's the favorite cocktail of a CERN physicist? 01:08:10.479 --> 01:08:11.220 Ah, good question. 01:08:11.640 --> 01:08:12.020 I don't know. 01:08:12.820 --> 01:08:13.841 A peanut collider. 01:08:14.417 --> 01:08:15.138 Pina Kaleida! 01:08:30.020 --> 01:08:31.561 The other day... Oh, this is a bit of a long one. 01:08:31.721 --> 01:08:34.584 The other day I went to see the reformed Nutty Boys in concert. 01:08:34.784 --> 01:08:45.572 However, instead of playing their hits, such as Baggy Trousers, My Girl and House of Fun, they spent the entire concert lecturing the audience about the use of language and behaviour to minimise offence on gender, racial and cultural grounds. 01:08:46.133 --> 01:08:48.074 It was madness gone politically correct. 01:08:50.276 --> 01:08:52.397 That's from Dave Espley in Stockport. 01:08:52.838 --> 01:08:53.418 Nice one, Dave. 01:08:53.438 --> 01:08:55.440 Shouldn't the punchline have been its PC gone madness? 01:08:56.883 --> 01:08:57.624 Or something like that. 01:08:57.704 --> 01:08:58.165 I don't know. 01:08:58.185 --> 01:08:59.326 I don't know. 01:08:59.346 --> 01:08:59.627 Is that it? 01:08:59.667 --> 01:09:00.348 Are we having more? 01:09:00.648 --> 01:09:01.669 We can have lots more! 01:09:01.910 --> 01:09:02.891 But should we have some music? 01:09:03.652 --> 01:09:04.913 Here's Vampire Weekend. 01:09:05.154 --> 01:09:08.037 And we mentioned before, our friend Garth Jennings has directed the video for this. 01:09:08.077 --> 01:09:09.239 Go and check it out online. 01:09:09.479 --> 01:09:10.240 This is Cousins. 01:09:10.501 --> 01:09:13.805 That's got a kind of Christmasy feel just because of those bells at the end there. 01:09:14.205 --> 01:09:21.970 Vampire Weekend with Cousins and Garth, we were mentioning our friend who directed the video there, he played me like a preview copy of the album. 01:09:22.330 --> 01:09:23.731 It's amazingly good. 01:09:24.031 --> 01:09:25.612 They have not fumbled the ball. 01:09:25.632 --> 01:09:30.935 They've taken everything that made their first album brilliant and sort of done it like it's not a massive departure at all. 01:09:31.035 --> 01:09:33.176 It sounds like the first album part two, but better. 01:09:33.256 --> 01:09:34.137 I haven't got the first album. 01:09:34.397 --> 01:09:35.218 That's really good, man. 01:09:35.238 --> 01:09:35.678 You should get it. 01:09:36.138 --> 01:09:38.200 Anyway, um... Can I read one more made-up joke? 01:09:38.240 --> 01:09:38.781 Yeah, please do. 01:09:38.961 --> 01:09:40.142 Because that was quite a good one. 01:09:40.162 --> 01:09:44.346 And maybe we've read this out before, or maybe it's an old one, because it seems to me so very good. 01:09:44.386 --> 01:09:48.150 It's from a fellow called Jason Ward. 01:09:49.411 --> 01:09:51.453 I'm just reading it through just to check that I get it right. 01:09:52.293 --> 01:09:58.056 It's phrased as a sentence rather than a question, so it's not your traditionally structured joke. 01:09:58.536 --> 01:10:07.239 I'm absolutely convinced that, without question, this is the item of dining room furniture that Frank Black, Darren Hayman and Thurston Moore all vomited on. 01:10:07.779 --> 01:10:09.100 It's in despue table. 01:10:11.209 --> 01:10:11.529 Come on. 01:10:11.789 --> 01:10:12.630 Indie spew table. 01:10:12.670 --> 01:10:13.570 An indie spew table. 01:10:13.630 --> 01:10:15.312 All the kings of indie have spewed on the table. 01:10:15.332 --> 01:10:18.914 Yeah, now that's good because this is a music station and that's a music themed joke. 01:10:18.954 --> 01:10:19.194 Yeah. 01:10:19.214 --> 01:10:22.136 And that's why I read it out because I thought it would tickle the boxes. 01:10:22.276 --> 01:10:22.756 Very nice. 01:10:22.776 --> 01:10:22.976 Very nice. 01:10:22.996 --> 01:10:23.637 Tickle the boxes. 01:10:23.717 --> 01:10:26.198 Here's one more that I'm picking out from my random bag, right? 01:10:28.339 --> 01:10:29.080 It's a short one. 01:10:29.980 --> 01:10:31.501 This is from Robbie Lumsden. 01:10:31.882 --> 01:10:32.022 Yes. 01:10:32.042 --> 01:10:34.223 Why does the Dalai Lama go to William Hill's? 01:10:36.164 --> 01:10:37.445 Because he loves to bet. 01:10:38.537 --> 01:10:38.917 I like it. 01:10:38.937 --> 01:10:39.638 I like it. 01:10:40.098 --> 01:10:40.799 It's intelligent. 01:10:40.859 --> 01:10:43.900 Might not be the first time that's ever been told, I don't know. 01:10:44.060 --> 01:10:45.221 Might not pass the Google test. 01:10:45.241 --> 01:10:45.641 No, it is. 01:10:45.721 --> 01:10:46.502 I do know, and it is. 01:10:47.062 --> 01:10:48.283 Thanks very much, Robbie Lumsden. 01:10:48.863 --> 01:10:53.926 Now, next week, listeners, our show is pre-recorded, our special Christmas show. 01:10:54.767 --> 01:10:57.408 And me and Joe are exchanging gifts. 01:10:58.469 --> 01:10:59.169 And who knows? 01:10:59.769 --> 01:11:01.671 Joe might get a special... I thought of mastication there. 01:11:01.951 --> 01:11:04.892 Sorry, I was swallowing a little bit of... Boggins. 01:11:05.093 --> 01:11:05.513 Boggins. 01:11:06.413 --> 01:11:10.636 Who knows, Joe might get a very special musical gift. 01:11:10.696 --> 01:11:14.379 This is like a tease to something Joe might be getting next week. 01:11:15.560 --> 01:11:18.302 Because Joe's favorite artist, of course, is Bob Dylan. 01:11:18.942 --> 01:11:21.124 And Joe's favorite album is Bob Dylan's Christmas album. 01:11:22.024 --> 01:11:26.107 So who knows, maybe he'll be getting something that sounds a little bit like this. 01:11:26.447 --> 01:11:28.389 Here's a special made-up Bob Dylan Christmas song. 01:11:28.929 --> 01:11:31.512 Santa has been here. 01:11:31.552 --> 01:11:34.174 You can spell him still, I think. 01:11:34.855 --> 01:11:37.477 Whiskey and reindeer. 01:11:38.018 --> 01:11:38.979 A little trick. 01:11:39.459 --> 01:11:43.243 Wildworks is one of the Christmas perks. 01:11:43.323 --> 01:11:48.668 He slides into your house with his sack of gifts. 01:11:49.469 --> 01:11:51.751 He uses the chimney pie. 01:11:51.811 --> 01:11:53.593 He doesn't like 01:11:54.213 --> 01:11:57.336 He's in your property, he comes and goes. 01:11:57.516 --> 01:11:59.237 What else is he doing there? 01:11:59.498 --> 01:12:01.679 No one really knows but we love him. 01:12:01.699 --> 01:12:06.043 Because he's got the merchandise and he's handing it out. 01:12:14.130 --> 01:12:41.038 To the people who are nice Thank you so much Santa I really wanted this In return I'm gonna give you a mince pie to kiss Santa advertises a popular soft drink Some people say that he's sold out But that's the only way the man can make it livin' Nobody else is payin' him for flyin' round a kid Santa has been here You can smell him still like me 01:12:45.160 --> 01:13:07.270 But it's not cool to drive and drink Santa has a special way of doing it I think Which does not endanger his fellow road users And also the people in the sky That's why Santa is my kinda guy That was so long How long did that last for? 01:13:07.970 --> 01:13:10.892 It was only a minute and a half A minute and a half? 01:13:11.352 --> 01:13:13.053 I think you've invented time travel 01:13:14.693 --> 01:13:17.014 Seriously, I think this would scrap the CERN Collider. 01:13:17.614 --> 01:13:19.135 That was good though, that was very good. 01:13:20.615 --> 01:13:23.276 That's another one of your catch phrases isn't it? 01:13:23.676 --> 01:13:25.597 There's, you like Star Trek don't you? 01:13:25.977 --> 01:13:28.098 And then there's, that was good though, that was very good. 01:13:30.407 --> 01:13:32.568 The end of something which you clearly detested. 01:13:32.628 --> 01:13:33.028 Oh, that was good. 01:13:33.048 --> 01:13:34.369 That was very, very good. 01:13:34.449 --> 01:13:35.430 I didn't detest it. 01:13:36.290 --> 01:13:36.971 He didn't detest it. 01:13:37.011 --> 01:13:38.792 I've been doing the jigsaw I got in that cracker. 01:13:38.832 --> 01:13:39.292 Yeah. 01:13:39.452 --> 01:13:41.853 Joe was doing the jigsaw that he got in the cracker. 01:13:42.193 --> 01:13:50.618 And then after the song, he says, you've invented a new form of time travel, which appears to stretch time into an unbearably long period. 01:13:50.638 --> 01:13:51.298 I didn't say unbearably. 01:13:51.318 --> 01:13:52.459 That's what was implied. 01:13:52.799 --> 01:13:54.520 It was bearable. 01:13:54.580 --> 01:13:55.160 How long is that? 01:13:55.280 --> 01:13:56.081 A minute and a half. 01:13:56.141 --> 01:13:56.301 Wow. 01:13:58.281 --> 01:13:59.342 That seemed a lot longer. 01:13:59.482 --> 01:14:07.309 It's a festive torpedo with tinsel wrap around it, fired straight into your face as a gift from Jesus and Santa. 01:14:07.930 --> 01:14:09.051 Thank you Jesus! 01:14:09.799 --> 01:14:28.368 is the last of my free plays today listeners did you even consider writing like a little goodbye speech terry wogan style for the listeners yeah no because i don't feel well i mean we're going away for a little break yeah we're coming back it's not terminal sure sure you say that but to me it feels like the end of a chapter at least it's certainly an end of a season yeah 01:14:29.288 --> 01:14:31.410 And I've enjoyed this chapter so much, you know. 01:14:31.430 --> 01:14:32.291 Me too. 01:14:32.431 --> 01:14:33.272 I'm not going to go into it. 01:14:33.292 --> 01:14:34.352 I know we both have, we all have. 01:14:34.853 --> 01:14:36.574 But I'm really going to miss doing this show, you know. 01:14:37.015 --> 01:14:41.038 So I'm not going to do a big long Terry Wogan speech, otherwise I will start crying. 01:14:41.378 --> 01:14:44.461 But I'm going to play a Scott Walker song that I really love for you listeners. 01:14:44.501 --> 01:14:45.702 This is Rhymes of Goodbye. 01:14:45.962 --> 01:14:47.543 Julian Castle playing cast! 01:14:48.063 --> 01:14:49.624 With I Wish It Was Christmas Today. 01:14:49.664 --> 01:14:51.485 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 01:14:51.545 --> 01:14:52.266 It's just gone 12.30. 01:14:52.706 --> 01:14:53.747 It's time for the news. 01:14:54.027 --> 01:14:56.488 The mighty Supergrass with Grace. 01:14:56.909 --> 01:15:00.071 Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 01:15:00.271 --> 01:15:01.752 Are you doing, listeners? 01:15:01.952 --> 01:15:06.615 Here's an email we got from Chuck and Darlene from Maine in America. 01:15:07.155 --> 01:15:09.937 Hey guys, we can't believe you'll be gone from the radio for so long. 01:15:10.397 --> 01:15:11.818 We have an idea to keep you going. 01:15:12.358 --> 01:15:15.280 How much work does Joe really do to prep for the show? 01:15:15.800 --> 01:15:19.025 Couldn't he direct his film and phone in his participation on the show? 01:15:19.425 --> 01:15:22.269 Joe often seems to not really know what's going on anyway. 01:15:22.730 --> 01:15:26.234 For example, quotes, is this my free play? 01:15:26.795 --> 01:15:28.277 Quotes, what's the name of that song? 01:15:28.778 --> 01:15:30.019 Quotes, how do you pronounce that? 01:15:30.720 --> 01:15:39.246 You could even pre-record some of Joe's common phrases, quotes, you love Star Trek, and quote, that was good, that was good, and play them as necessary. 01:15:39.707 --> 01:15:42.729 The rest of the time could be filled with anecdotes from the filmmaking process. 01:15:42.989 --> 01:15:49.414 Of course, Joe would have to give Adam half his salary since Adam would have to read all the emails and texts during the week and think of topics for text the nation. 01:15:50.294 --> 01:15:56.459 One other thought, maybe Black Squadron could pitch in with a different guest host for the first half hour of the show, giving Joe an extra half hour of sleep. 01:15:57.119 --> 01:15:58.439 That's some good ideas there, don't you think? 01:15:58.459 --> 01:15:59.180 All interesting ideas. 01:15:59.200 --> 01:16:00.180 I mean, consider all of them. 01:16:00.640 --> 01:16:05.002 They're right in saying that I don't, I, I haven't, you know, I have a limited series of phrases. 01:16:05.402 --> 01:16:06.382 I tend to say, that's good. 01:16:06.762 --> 01:16:07.362 Oh, that's good. 01:16:07.562 --> 01:16:07.802 Wow. 01:16:08.223 --> 01:16:08.543 Nice. 01:16:08.763 --> 01:16:11.003 We're all operating from the stock phrases. 01:16:11.043 --> 01:16:11.964 I mean, I've got to stop myself going. 01:16:11.984 --> 01:16:12.644 Do you know what I mean? 01:16:14.105 --> 01:16:15.567 Or I also say, is that right? 01:16:16.147 --> 01:16:17.048 A lot. 01:16:19.130 --> 01:16:29.680 If there was an Adam Buxton novelty plastic toy and it had four buttons on the back with common bucculis phrases on them, programmed into them, what would they be? 01:16:30.701 --> 01:16:31.222 Yeah. 01:16:31.902 --> 01:16:32.383 Would be one. 01:16:33.964 --> 01:16:34.304 Right. 01:16:35.365 --> 01:16:35.905 I don't know. 01:16:36.266 --> 01:16:37.747 One of them would be... Laura, Laura. 01:16:37.767 --> 01:16:38.748 Yeah, there'd be Laura, Laura. 01:16:38.788 --> 01:16:40.269 There'd be a bit of bog in suffering. 01:16:40.289 --> 01:16:42.090 There'd be, hey, your Fonzie thing. 01:16:42.430 --> 01:16:43.531 Hey, what's that? 01:16:43.651 --> 01:16:45.273 You go, hey, listener. 01:16:45.293 --> 01:16:46.994 Hey, listeners. 01:16:47.274 --> 01:16:48.836 You don't even remember that you do it, you see. 01:16:48.856 --> 01:16:49.476 I'm not aware of it. 01:16:49.496 --> 01:16:50.217 You're self-aware. 01:16:50.917 --> 01:16:51.678 I'm not sentient. 01:16:51.918 --> 01:16:52.198 Yeah. 01:16:52.699 --> 01:16:53.940 What would mine be? 01:16:55.340 --> 01:16:55.721 I don't know. 01:16:56.161 --> 01:16:58.842 I don't really like the tone of that email. 01:16:58.862 --> 01:16:59.842 I think it's too reductive. 01:16:59.862 --> 01:17:02.823 They are underestimating the role that you play. 01:17:03.264 --> 01:17:04.444 And I'm going to miss you, man. 01:17:04.624 --> 01:17:05.705 Well, that's nice of you to say. 01:17:06.225 --> 01:17:09.166 There's truth in the fact that I've slept a bit over the last few months. 01:17:09.186 --> 01:17:10.226 There's no truth in that. 01:17:10.347 --> 01:17:11.027 None truth. 01:17:11.787 --> 01:17:19.574 You know, you're going to do your film, that's really exciting and I know it's going to be amazing, but I'm really going to miss you doing this show and you've got your arms folded there. 01:17:19.594 --> 01:17:21.295 Yeah, this sincerity makes me uncomfortable. 01:17:21.315 --> 01:17:22.196 I'm going to come and give you a hug. 01:17:22.537 --> 01:17:23.397 Say it sarcastically. 01:17:23.417 --> 01:17:24.378 No, I'm not going to give you a hug. 01:17:24.438 --> 01:17:25.319 I'm not insane. 01:17:27.541 --> 01:17:28.422 I do smell a bit. 01:17:29.543 --> 01:17:30.463 Hey, so listen. 01:17:30.624 --> 01:17:34.927 Earlier this week, right, I had a little weird compro-pon with my wife. 01:17:34.987 --> 01:17:36.128 It does happen from time to time. 01:17:36.429 --> 01:17:36.649 Oh, no. 01:17:37.029 --> 01:17:42.032 This one, excuse me, was based on the fact that I came into the house. 01:17:42.273 --> 01:17:42.893 Oh, God. 01:17:43.093 --> 01:17:44.454 Why do you do that all the time? 01:17:44.494 --> 01:17:45.094 I can't help it. 01:17:45.695 --> 01:17:53.880 And I found by the CD player, which is very seldom used, I am ashamed to say, in the house, a Take That Greatest Hits CD. 01:17:54.681 --> 01:17:55.141 Oh. 01:17:55.161 --> 01:17:56.042 There's nothing wrong with that. 01:17:56.062 --> 01:17:57.382 Well, no, no, no, not per se. 01:17:57.442 --> 01:17:58.363 It was new, right? 01:17:58.583 --> 01:18:00.645 So I'm thinking, what the heckins? 01:18:01.465 --> 01:18:05.188 And so I said very casually later while we were watching television, 01:18:06.148 --> 01:18:22.813 um did you buy that uh take that greatest hit cd immediately the bristles came up she started to bristle why was the provocative was the retort i was like well uh so immediately i'm aware of the bristles and i said well because 01:18:23.773 --> 01:18:26.375 Um, I was just, you know, surprised. 01:18:26.495 --> 01:18:26.855 That's all. 01:18:26.875 --> 01:18:29.137 I didn't realize you were like such a big Take That fan. 01:18:29.757 --> 01:18:30.158 She says, why? 01:18:30.398 --> 01:18:32.339 Because it's the only CD in the house. 01:18:32.399 --> 01:18:35.882 I would say the only CD she has bought in the last, well, as long as I've known her. 01:18:36.762 --> 01:18:38.223 And it's Take That's Greatest Hits. 01:18:38.744 --> 01:18:40.785 Also, I own Take That's Greatest Hits. 01:18:41.386 --> 01:18:43.587 It's, it was in a, you know, it's in my office. 01:18:44.048 --> 01:18:45.509 So it's not actually in the office. 01:18:45.529 --> 01:18:46.669 It's in the office where I need it. 01:18:46.690 --> 01:18:48.030 For my office business. 01:18:49.331 --> 01:18:50.993 One of the, is it sort of a vital bit of stationery? 01:18:51.013 --> 01:18:51.353 Exactly. 01:18:51.953 --> 01:18:54.694 Right, ten-thirty, we light my fire. 01:18:55.954 --> 01:18:59.014 So I said, you know, I've got a copy of Take That's Greatest Hits. 01:18:59.174 --> 01:19:00.274 She's like, well, I didn't know that. 01:19:00.555 --> 01:19:01.675 How would I possibly know you've got it? 01:19:01.695 --> 01:19:04.235 I was like, well, I've got a lot of CDs, I've got a load. 01:19:04.595 --> 01:19:10.256 Before you go and buy a CD like Take That's Greatest Hits, why don't you just mention to me that you're interested in Take That? 01:19:10.276 --> 01:19:18.658 Because this is really what this is, is a beautiful moment where you both share a love for the same band and instead it's turned into an awful... It was a bit of acrimony. 01:19:18.898 --> 01:19:19.618 It was a shame. 01:19:19.938 --> 01:19:20.978 It should have brought you together. 01:19:21.378 --> 01:19:23.779 And then I started to, you know, there's a little bit of a silence. 01:19:23.799 --> 01:19:24.720 She said, well, I didn't know. 01:19:24.760 --> 01:19:26.620 How am I supposed to know you got Take That's Greatest Hits? 01:19:26.640 --> 01:19:27.701 I wouldn't have thought you did. 01:19:27.721 --> 01:19:28.701 I was like, I've got loads. 01:19:28.761 --> 01:19:30.422 I've got very Catholic taste. 01:19:30.742 --> 01:19:33.003 I've got 10,000 CDs or something. 01:19:33.303 --> 01:19:41.147 One of them is bound to be a Greatest Hits CD by one of the greatest bands of the last few decades, I said. 01:19:41.747 --> 01:19:43.328 And then there was a little bit of a silence. 01:19:44.108 --> 01:19:46.910 And then I said, so what's your favorite Take That song then? 01:19:48.586 --> 01:19:55.550 At that point, I was needling her, and she didn't like that very much, and she said, I wouldn't answer. 01:19:56.090 --> 01:20:00.112 I said, is it the, what's the 70s one, the disco one called the one they covered? 01:20:00.493 --> 01:20:00.873 I don't know. 01:20:01.513 --> 01:20:02.574 Yes, you do know. 01:20:02.654 --> 01:20:04.595 I said, come on, you know what it is. 01:20:05.155 --> 01:20:06.636 Relight my fire. 01:20:06.676 --> 01:20:07.637 Do you like that one? 01:20:08.237 --> 01:20:09.779 She wasn't playing along by that point. 01:20:09.939 --> 01:20:11.039 Well, of course not. 01:20:11.240 --> 01:20:16.503 Yeah, because you've made it so that by answering those questions, you'd won in a way. 01:20:17.344 --> 01:20:19.285 I really didn't want to turn it into a confrontation. 01:20:19.325 --> 01:20:21.447 This is exactly what she said to me. 01:20:21.947 --> 01:20:26.190 But I really was honestly not a confrontation, but I was curious. 01:20:26.230 --> 01:20:27.191 I was like, what? 01:20:27.371 --> 01:20:30.874 The thing is, she bought it from one of those, like at the checkout. 01:20:30.914 --> 01:20:33.676 The thing is, I think I need to solve this problem for you. 01:20:33.736 --> 01:20:33.876 Yeah. 01:20:34.196 --> 01:20:38.520 Because you can't start the Contre-ton, then stop it. 01:20:38.560 --> 01:20:40.662 It's up to her to stop it if you start it. 01:20:41.262 --> 01:20:42.564 Yeah, she doesn't stop. 01:20:42.624 --> 01:20:43.965 She doesn't wrap them up nicely though. 01:20:43.985 --> 01:20:45.266 The Contre-ton. 01:20:45.827 --> 01:20:48.389 Well, you're not in no position to say that because you started it. 01:20:48.669 --> 01:20:50.150 I know, but I wanted to wrap it up. 01:20:50.191 --> 01:20:51.732 I wanted to get in there a little bit more. 01:20:53.686 --> 01:20:55.428 You can have a... We'll try it again over Christmas. 01:20:55.648 --> 01:20:58.810 Christmas is a great time for provoking unnecessary friction. 01:20:58.930 --> 01:20:59.771 I'm going to do a lot of it. 01:21:00.211 --> 01:21:07.536 No, the reason she bristled was because a lot of the time she comes back with romantic comedies that she's bought at the supermarket. 01:21:08.036 --> 01:21:17.903 And she doesn't like it when I mention them because the implication seems to be that she has totally wasted her money on some pile of old dog rubbish with Cameron Diaz in it or whatever. 01:21:17.943 --> 01:21:18.483 You know what I mean? 01:21:18.904 --> 01:21:19.724 I do know what you mean. 01:21:20.084 --> 01:21:20.385 Anyway. 01:21:21.125 --> 01:21:22.087 I love Take That and They. 01:21:22.147 --> 01:21:23.809 I wish we had some to play but we don't. 01:21:24.049 --> 01:21:25.391 Here's Animal Collective instead. 01:21:25.692 --> 01:21:28.936 Animal Collective there with What Would I Want? 01:21:29.277 --> 01:21:36.386 We've only got 30 minutes of live radio left for this current... We can't really call it a season, can we? 01:21:36.487 --> 01:21:37.248 What can we call it? 01:21:37.908 --> 01:22:01.914 Box a box of shows run So we're gonna play another record and then there's gonna be some exciting and conclusive boggins action This is a right now who was saying I never knew the names of my own free plays Just then those Americans those America Americans that emailed in They're so completely right because I don't know the name of this song, but it's by Anne Sexton 01:22:02.594 --> 01:22:03.054 It's brilliant. 01:22:03.574 --> 01:22:07.016 Sam Sexton with a song called Of Course You're Losing Me. 01:22:07.296 --> 01:22:08.776 This is Adam and John BBC Six Music. 01:22:08.896 --> 01:22:13.458 If you were listening earlier, you would have heard a non-combative song wars based around. 01:22:14.018 --> 01:22:23.321 The little dog that comes into the studio every now and then, Boggins, the smelly, stinky, ill, old dog who you want to hug but you can't because he's so stinky. 01:22:23.642 --> 01:22:26.743 Boggins first came into our lives when we returned from our summer break. 01:22:27.583 --> 01:22:33.507 this year and almost immediately divided listeners very sharply. 01:22:34.367 --> 01:22:43.373 People were writing in apparently serious messages saying, I've really enjoyed your shows over the last few years, but now I'm going to stop listening because of this dog. 01:22:44.253 --> 01:22:47.014 And then other listeners really loved the little chap. 01:22:47.614 --> 01:22:49.055 It was hard to know what to do about him. 01:22:49.595 --> 01:22:56.477 We've done a little Christmas panto, though, for you listeners to hopefully resolve things for this chapter of the program. 01:22:56.978 --> 01:22:58.498 Do you like Christmas pantos, Joe? 01:22:58.638 --> 01:22:59.939 I absolutely adore them. 01:23:00.139 --> 01:23:01.599 I've got a huge collection of them. 01:23:04.480 --> 01:23:05.181 On DVDs. 01:23:05.621 --> 01:23:08.603 No, I actually buy the actors and the venues. 01:23:08.803 --> 01:23:16.348 Yeah, I'm a multi-millionaire and when I see a really good panto, I buy the venue, I buy the actors for life and I just have it running all the time. 01:23:16.408 --> 01:23:17.429 You keep them going all year round. 01:23:17.449 --> 01:23:18.229 I keep them going all year round. 01:23:18.249 --> 01:23:19.850 So if I'm in that neck of the woods, I can pop in. 01:23:19.990 --> 01:23:20.491 Good idea. 01:23:20.511 --> 01:23:22.392 And have some festive fun. 01:23:22.792 --> 01:23:25.454 You know who is one of my favourite panto stars? 01:23:25.914 --> 01:23:26.154 Who? 01:23:26.355 --> 01:23:26.995 Brian Blessed. 01:23:27.215 --> 01:23:28.116 Not Christopher Boggins. 01:23:28.577 --> 01:23:29.718 Christopher Boggins! 01:23:29.798 --> 01:23:31.700 He's the guy we should have got for this panto. 01:23:32.060 --> 01:23:34.582 Anyway, here's the Adam and Jo Boggins panto listeners. 01:23:39.127 --> 01:23:39.767 Stop it! 01:23:40.208 --> 01:23:40.708 Simon! 01:23:40.888 --> 01:23:41.429 No! 01:23:41.849 --> 01:23:44.912 Are you Santa? 01:23:44.972 --> 01:23:46.814 Well, more or less, yes! 01:23:48.604 --> 01:23:50.285 And what do you want for Christmas, young man? 01:23:50.305 --> 01:23:52.006 Oh, I'm all going to throw a tank. 01:23:52.347 --> 01:23:52.867 A tank? 01:23:53.307 --> 01:23:53.948 And a gun. 01:23:54.848 --> 01:23:55.468 And a bomb. 01:23:55.809 --> 01:23:58.490 Oh, there's a terribly violent presence, young man. 01:23:58.510 --> 01:23:59.451 I know. 01:23:59.951 --> 01:24:02.773 What about a lovely little puppy? 01:24:02.793 --> 01:24:04.354 Is it all more controlled? 01:24:05.195 --> 01:24:06.295 Yes, sort of. 01:24:06.556 --> 01:24:09.157 If you shout at him loud enough, sometimes he stops what he's doing. 01:24:10.558 --> 01:24:12.658 Of Caden, I'll have that. 01:24:12.798 --> 01:24:13.819 Oh, fantastic! 01:24:14.259 --> 01:24:15.019 And a gun. 01:24:15.179 --> 01:24:16.439 Ah, well, yes, you might need it. 01:24:17.519 --> 01:24:19.180 I'm joking. 01:24:19.400 --> 01:24:20.440 I'm joking, of course. 01:24:20.720 --> 01:24:21.600 Simon! 01:24:22.100 --> 01:24:22.560 Yes, right. 01:24:22.620 --> 01:24:23.981 Fetch, Boggins! 01:24:24.141 --> 01:24:24.741 We're doomed. 01:24:25.761 --> 01:24:26.841 Here he comes now. 01:24:27.521 --> 01:24:29.082 Don't worry about the smell, young man. 01:24:29.162 --> 01:24:29.922 It's normal. 01:24:29.962 --> 01:24:30.882 He's perfectly fine. 01:24:31.442 --> 01:24:31.842 I love you. 01:24:32.362 --> 01:24:35.223 I'm just going to bite the back of your legs and your face as well. 01:24:35.423 --> 01:24:35.943 Not badly. 01:24:36.043 --> 01:24:36.703 Just a little bit. 01:24:36.723 --> 01:24:37.143 I love you. 01:24:37.163 --> 01:24:37.864 Careful, Boggins. 01:24:37.924 --> 01:24:38.884 Don't frighten the body. 01:24:38.904 --> 01:24:39.744 All right, then, Santa. 01:24:43.187 --> 01:24:47.989 That's very heartwarming, so Boggins has gone off to live with a little orphan boy. 01:24:48.009 --> 01:24:48.309 Yeah, exactly. 01:25:11.363 --> 01:25:13.084 Well, that's a very happy ending for him. 01:25:13.224 --> 01:25:14.284 He's a very old dog. 01:25:14.864 --> 01:25:20.186 It's going to saddle that boy with a quite sort of, well, he's going to die very soon. 01:25:20.366 --> 01:25:20.567 Yeah. 01:25:20.647 --> 01:25:25.689 Also, the upkeep while he's alive of the dog, the maintenance, is going to stretch the boy beyond his limits, I would think. 01:25:26.189 --> 01:25:27.469 I mean, where does the boy live? 01:25:27.669 --> 01:25:28.190 On the streets? 01:25:28.690 --> 01:25:29.550 Yeah, he lives, he's homeless. 01:25:31.031 --> 01:25:35.973 So watch out for the boy and boggins begging around the streets of Britain this Christmas, listeners. 01:25:36.113 --> 01:25:36.933 Here's Orange Juice. 01:25:37.333 --> 01:25:42.978 That's an unusual version, or at least not the version I'm familiar with, of Poor Old Soul by Orange Juice. 01:25:43.339 --> 01:25:43.759 Good stuff though. 01:25:43.779 --> 01:25:47.082 A lot of people out there thinking, yes it's not the version I'm familiar with either. 01:25:47.102 --> 01:25:48.904 I imagine my mum will be phoning up about that. 01:25:49.124 --> 01:25:52.527 That's not the normal version of Poor Old Soul that I normally see. 01:25:53.107 --> 01:25:54.428 I orange the orange juice. 01:25:55.149 --> 01:25:57.870 Anyway, but listen, listeners, that's it for us for a little bit. 01:25:57.890 --> 01:26:00.252 We'll be back some way into next year. 01:26:00.752 --> 01:26:05.354 Thank you very much to James, our producer, for all the amazing work he's done for the last two years. 01:26:05.514 --> 01:26:12.378 Yeah, to Lucy, who's helping us out, Xanthie, to Charlotte, Brian, Jude and Claire, of course. 01:26:13.558 --> 01:26:17.200 our producers from way back, all the team here at Six Music. 01:26:17.280 --> 01:26:20.321 And thanks to everybody at Six Music, which you guys should really explore. 01:26:20.341 --> 01:26:23.542 If you don't already listen to everything on the station, there's some amazingly good stuff. 01:26:23.662 --> 01:26:27.124 So yeah, have a good stay listening, basically, is what we're trying to say. 01:26:27.184 --> 01:26:31.045 Don't forget that we'll be around every now and again on the blog as well. 01:26:31.626 --> 01:26:33.426 Go and check out our Six Music blog. 01:26:33.586 --> 01:26:34.687 Yeah, we'll keep the blog alive. 01:26:34.707 --> 01:26:42.570 And we should say thank you to everybody who's written and texted the show, especially quite a few people wrote us some quite emotional letters. 01:26:42.890 --> 01:26:43.851 Yeah, yeah. 01:26:43.951 --> 01:26:45.213 They really didn't. 01:26:45.613 --> 01:26:46.854 About touching them very nice. 01:26:47.034 --> 01:26:52.180 Listening when they've been having hard times or whatever and it's cheered them up and we really appreciate that more than we can say. 01:26:52.200 --> 01:26:59.668 We really do read every single thing that has been sent so if we don't talk about it on air, rest assured it has been read and absorbed. 01:26:59.848 --> 01:27:00.609 And appreciated. 01:27:00.629 --> 01:27:00.869 Yeah. 01:27:01.910 --> 01:27:04.453 And you know the weird ones we've ignored. 01:27:04.753 --> 01:27:24.709 and stay in touch via the blog because we'll definitely be visiting that blog and posting on it and stuff will be uploaded so hang out there it's what's the address bbc.co.uk forward slash blogs forward slash adam and joe i've got a blog as well listeners you know stay in touch via that as well adam-bucksden.co.uk i'd love to see you at a gig or whatever i'll be uh 01:27:25.149 --> 01:27:27.071 doing various live things but that's it for us. 01:27:27.391 --> 01:27:38.680 And don't forget this show will be available as a podcast on Monday and then from Tuesday the 12 podcasts of Christmas start so there'll be a sort of retro Adam and Jo podcast that you might have missed going up every day of next week. 01:27:38.980 --> 01:27:39.781 Yeah. 01:27:39.901 --> 01:27:43.584 To help you if you are feeling any sort of withdrawal symptoms. 01:27:43.644 --> 01:27:47.847 Having said all this we have got our pre-recorded Christmas show. 01:27:48.107 --> 01:27:48.507 Exactly. 01:27:48.547 --> 01:27:50.169 We'll actually be back on Boxing Day. 01:27:50.629 --> 01:27:51.430 So take care, listeners. 01:27:51.470 --> 01:27:52.450 Have a wonderful Christmas. 01:27:52.771 --> 01:27:54.251 All the best for 2010. 01:27:54.692 --> 01:27:57.073 Here's an amazing song by the Pogues. 01:27:57.193 --> 01:27:58.654 I can never hear this one too much. 01:27:58.955 --> 01:28:00.075 Stay tuned for Liz Kershaw. 01:28:00.115 --> 01:28:00.916 She's coming up next. 01:28:01.416 --> 01:28:01.716 Love you. 01:28:01.736 --> 01:28:02.777 Bye. 01:28:05.319 --> 01:28:06.339 Bye. 01:28:06.700 --> 01:28:13.144 It was Christmas Eve, babe. 01:28:13.444 --> 01:28:15.305 And a drunk tank. 01:28:17.427 --> 01:28:19.388 An old man sat in me. 01:28:21.209 --> 01:28:45.796 Won't say another one And then we sang a song The rare old mountain tune A turn with face away Undrained about you Got on a lucky one 01:28:47.388 --> 01:29:11.239 Coming late into one I've gotta fill Those years from beginning So I'll be Christmas I love you baby I can see a better time 01:29:12.881 --> 01:29:16.157 When all our dreams come true 01:29:29.263 --> 01:29:42.111 They got cars, big as bars, they got rivers of gold But the wind goes right through you, it's no place for the old When you first took my hand on the cold Christmas sea You promised me Broadway was waiting for me Your hands up! 01:29:42.151 --> 01:29:58.222 You were pretty clean up, New York City When the band finished playing, they held up for more Sinatra was swinging, all the drums they were singing We kissed on a corner, then danced through the night The bodies of the anvil, they clearly cried We're singing all the way back 01:29:58.602 --> 01:30:04.383 And the boughs are ringing out for Christmas day