WEBVTT 00:14.653 --> 00:17.575 It's Desmond Decker there with 007. 00:18.115 --> 00:21.137 It's not really about James Bond so much, is it? 00:21.657 --> 00:22.298 What is it about? 00:22.318 --> 00:24.279 Well, it's just about a shanty town. 00:24.819 --> 00:25.319 Why is it called 007? 00:26.580 --> 00:27.541 That's what I want to know. 00:27.561 --> 00:29.102 That's exactly what I want to know. 00:29.122 --> 00:30.743 I demand answers. 00:31.043 --> 00:40.428 I mean, I was very disappointed the first time I heard that song because I was in the throes of a James Bond fixation and I thought, great, a new song about my hero, JB, 00:41.990 --> 00:46.952 the man with the license to thrill and it wasn't anything to do with it. 00:48.203 --> 00:48.883 Well, there we go. 00:48.904 --> 00:50.565 I can't help, I'm afraid. 00:50.725 --> 00:51.745 Disappointing though, isn't it? 00:51.766 --> 00:52.826 You prepared me for that question. 00:52.846 --> 00:55.208 I could have come up with the facts, but I've no idea. 00:55.648 --> 00:58.670 Morning listeners, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 00:58.710 --> 01:03.013 Thanks very much for joining us at our new exciting time of 10am. 01:03.073 --> 01:05.035 Yeah, and we've got all sorts of things coming up. 01:05.075 --> 01:07.697 I'm not saying that they're exciting, but they're things. 01:07.997 --> 01:08.697 Come on, they're very exciting. 01:08.717 --> 01:09.338 They're very exciting. 01:09.378 --> 01:12.880 Starting off with, of course, the Black Squadron command, Black Squadron, the elite listening force. 01:13.181 --> 01:14.842 Not quite as elite as they used to be. 01:15.402 --> 01:16.243 Slightly less elite. 01:16.263 --> 01:17.064 The lazy listening force. 01:17.084 --> 01:18.945 Is there a word that means slightly less than elite? 01:19.986 --> 01:20.747 Um... Reapatite. 01:20.947 --> 01:21.207 Mm-hmm. 01:21.668 --> 01:27.213 Yeah, a reapatite elite squat of listeners who are going to execute a task that we're going to issue very soon. 01:27.533 --> 01:28.734 I've got a selection of tasks. 01:28.774 --> 01:30.175 Maybe we should play a record and add them. 01:30.195 --> 01:31.717 You can help me to select the task. 01:32.057 --> 01:32.758 Yeah, good idea. 01:33.058 --> 01:34.980 Later on, we'll have some made-up jokes. 01:35.620 --> 01:39.584 We've got some famous name repurposing. 01:39.865 --> 01:40.725 That's not true, actually. 01:40.745 --> 01:42.207 I just said that to fill in space. 01:42.587 --> 01:45.069 But I was thinking like some proper appropriation we haven't had for a while. 01:45.089 --> 01:45.770 That's a good idea. 01:45.870 --> 01:46.311 Yeah. 01:46.331 --> 01:48.272 We've got retro-texination tech. 01:48.313 --> 01:56.400 I'm just saying the name of these features that are barely features just to give the radio, you know, show some kind of form at the beginning of the program here. 01:56.741 --> 01:57.121 How's it going? 01:57.481 --> 02:03.223 They're like features on an ultrasound scan of an only just pregnant woman. 02:04.723 --> 02:06.124 In distinction. 02:06.224 --> 02:07.084 Barely readable. 02:07.524 --> 02:08.264 Yeah, let's have some music. 02:08.304 --> 02:09.945 This is chapel club with surfacing. 02:10.065 --> 02:14.566 Just had a statistical update on last week's Black Squadron response. 02:14.747 --> 02:15.987 We got over 151 photographs of... was it been back 02:19.848 --> 02:21.528 Yeah, bin bag fashion last week. 02:21.988 --> 02:25.909 That is, I think, the highest number of Black Squadron responses we've ever had. 02:25.969 --> 02:31.570 So that puts paid to any doubts that our later time would disperse or, you know, defocus Black Squadron. 02:31.890 --> 02:35.071 In fact, they're more focused and more threatening a force than ever before. 02:35.131 --> 02:35.671 Of course they are. 02:35.691 --> 02:36.931 They've had an extra hour in bed. 02:37.031 --> 02:40.372 They could destabilize the authority of the state in the country. 02:40.412 --> 02:43.132 I mean, it could be seen as a threat by the government. 02:43.772 --> 02:44.072 Sure. 02:44.713 --> 02:47.013 And what's going to happen? 02:47.423 --> 02:49.465 Well, the show could be pulled off air. 02:49.565 --> 02:57.250 We could be sort of, when we're walking home, snatched and thrown into the back of stretched limousines and taken to be ticked off by the Queen. 02:57.971 --> 02:58.651 Oh, man. 02:58.811 --> 02:59.532 Lara Lara. 03:00.433 --> 03:01.653 Oh, you too, guy. 03:01.673 --> 03:05.156 You be naughty on your radio show, Lara Lara. 03:05.176 --> 03:06.677 Blender Data. 03:06.697 --> 03:08.599 The unmistakable tones of Her Majesty the Queen. 03:08.779 --> 03:10.480 Sarah Black, what you 03:10.680 --> 03:30.924 doing on that radio program I heard that you black squadron laura laura phone you gonna have a lonely couple you are but if the squadron get too strong always gonna break problems laura laura floor rooms for you black squadron silver black blender data 03:31.184 --> 03:37.547 If I didn't recognise that instantly as the Queen, I would think it was possibly a slightly dodgy stereotype. 03:37.567 --> 03:39.528 She's got a very snooty voice, doesn't she? 03:39.888 --> 03:40.948 She's got very upper classes. 03:40.988 --> 03:42.509 Very snooty voice. 03:42.689 --> 03:43.769 That's typical of the upper classes. 03:44.030 --> 03:46.731 That typical Eton voice, you know? 03:46.791 --> 03:47.951 Like Boris Johnson. 03:47.971 --> 03:49.572 Yeah, or James Cameron. 03:54.634 --> 03:54.914 Yeah. 03:55.095 --> 03:57.137 The head of the Tory party. 03:57.197 --> 04:04.325 How does he manage to direct Avatar and run the Tory party at the same time? 04:04.486 --> 04:04.806 Cameron. 04:05.046 --> 04:05.307 Yeah. 04:05.787 --> 04:06.428 He's a genius. 04:06.608 --> 04:07.289 He is, isn't he? 04:07.329 --> 04:08.751 And he's operating an education. 04:09.151 --> 04:10.653 He created a new dimension. 04:10.873 --> 04:11.293 Has he? 04:11.414 --> 04:11.894 In Eaton. 04:11.914 --> 04:12.935 That's what they teach you there. 04:13.036 --> 04:13.356 Really? 04:13.696 --> 04:16.058 Okay, this week, dimension studies. 04:16.758 --> 04:19.560 Um, Cameron, have you come up with a new dimension? 04:19.900 --> 04:21.161 I certainly have, sir. 04:21.461 --> 04:29.866 It's a new dimension in excitement, and it's populated by blue people with large eyes from Australia, who are trying to protect their kingdom from bad army men. 04:30.086 --> 04:30.767 Blue people. 04:31.087 --> 04:32.928 They could change Blue Peter to blue people. 04:33.308 --> 04:34.429 That would be a lot better, wouldn't it? 04:34.449 --> 04:38.791 More kids would watch, if it was presented by giant semi-nude smurf men. 04:39.172 --> 04:40.092 Who look like Connie Huck? 04:40.232 --> 04:40.913 Yeah. 04:41.173 --> 04:42.454 She hasn't done that show for a while, has she? 04:42.514 --> 04:42.934 She hasn't. 04:43.214 --> 04:43.434 No. 04:43.594 --> 04:43.814 No. 04:44.174 --> 04:45.295 Why? 04:45.375 --> 04:45.615 Why? 04:45.835 --> 04:48.817 Just because she's the last presenter I can remember, you know what I mean? 04:48.937 --> 04:49.557 She's beautiful. 04:49.637 --> 04:50.597 She's absolutely beautiful. 04:50.737 --> 04:51.918 Listen though, Black Squadron. 04:52.718 --> 04:53.799 Stand by for your command. 04:53.839 --> 04:57.400 Of course, the idea is we give you a few words of a command. 04:57.420 --> 04:59.101 Well, that doesn't sound right, does it? 04:59.141 --> 05:01.502 We give you a two word command, two or three word command. 05:01.862 --> 05:06.925 You have to absorb it and then take a photo based on that command and send that photo to us here at the castle. 05:07.245 --> 05:08.966 The text number is... What is it? 05:09.146 --> 05:08.966 64046. 05:09.926 --> 05:11.987 Yeah, or you can email it to us. 05:12.367 --> 05:22.231 Adamandjo.6music at bbc.co.uk And then, remember, if you do send us a photo, you're sort of giving us permission to pop it on our blog. 05:22.991 --> 05:24.952 Texts are charged at the standard rate. 05:25.372 --> 05:26.413 Something like that, I don't know. 05:26.753 --> 05:27.513 But send them in. 05:27.733 --> 05:29.574 Oh, don't lose your nerve, Dermot. 05:30.114 --> 05:31.034 I did well, though, didn't I? 05:31.054 --> 05:32.315 You did really well in previous weeks. 05:32.335 --> 05:32.875 I said the right thing. 05:32.915 --> 05:34.716 You've been so confident when you say that. 05:34.736 --> 05:36.516 I just don't want to be falsely confident. 05:36.757 --> 05:37.317 No, come on. 05:37.357 --> 05:37.937 Just make it up. 05:38.237 --> 05:40.118 Calls will be charged at the standard rate. 05:40.638 --> 05:44.401 Unless you're calling from a mobile when it'll be a lot more expensive. 05:45.022 --> 05:49.906 So here's your command, Black Squad, and we're going to kick some music off after I give the command. 05:49.946 --> 05:50.847 What are we going to hear, Adam? 05:51.047 --> 06:00.755 Oh, well, this is a nice track from one of the rough trade compilations by The Normal, who I believe is the guy that basically ended up starting mute records. 06:01.275 --> 06:06.420 And this is a great piece of kind of arty, very early electronica, indie electronica. 06:07.020 --> 06:10.642 with him talking, you know, like this about TV, TVOD. 06:11.202 --> 06:12.823 I stick an aerial into my skin. 06:13.023 --> 06:13.263 Wow. 06:13.323 --> 06:14.103 That kind of thing. 06:14.604 --> 06:16.605 So it's going to challenge a lot of preconceptions. 06:17.045 --> 06:18.045 I'm excited about that. 06:18.686 --> 06:20.346 Here comes the command, Black Squadron. 06:20.386 --> 06:20.927 Stand by. 06:20.967 --> 06:23.748 This week's command is prehistoric life. 06:25.109 --> 06:28.030 Reverend and the Makers with Heavyweight Champion of the World. 06:28.050 --> 06:30.451 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 06:30.571 --> 06:33.152 Listen, I think this command has confused the squadron. 06:34.073 --> 06:37.514 We were sort of picturing pictures of cavemen. 06:37.614 --> 06:40.195 The command was prehistoric life. 06:41.376 --> 06:43.657 We were thinking about prehistoric families, you know. 06:44.397 --> 06:44.898 Cave people. 06:45.358 --> 06:46.138 The cave community. 06:46.318 --> 06:47.399 Yeah, exactly. 06:47.439 --> 06:48.779 Sort of Flintstone style. 06:48.799 --> 06:49.720 Flintstone activity. 06:50.580 --> 06:52.302 Men dragging women by their hair. 06:52.402 --> 06:53.303 Flintston Churchill. 06:53.543 --> 06:54.524 Flintston Churchill. 06:55.605 --> 06:57.246 You know, children clubbing each other. 06:57.266 --> 06:59.729 Grunting, people eating bits of raw chicken. 06:59.809 --> 07:01.750 And drawing pictures of animals on the walls. 07:01.850 --> 07:02.851 Cave drawings. 07:03.292 --> 07:05.894 Yeah, we've got quite a few dinosaur-based pictures. 07:07.155 --> 07:09.137 Sort of toy dinosaurs and stuffed dinosaurs. 07:09.197 --> 07:11.059 It's not too late to redirect the squadron. 07:11.679 --> 07:16.606 No, the squadrons still have nine minutes, and that's not to belittle the entries that have already come in. 07:16.827 --> 07:21.233 We've got just people looking, you know, pulling prehistoric faces. 07:22.255 --> 07:24.117 Catherine has sent in a picture of her. 07:24.518 --> 07:25.600 Is it her husband? 07:25.680 --> 07:26.321 Let's have a look. 07:26.661 --> 07:28.502 He looks a little Neanderthal. 07:28.542 --> 07:29.703 He does look Neanderthal. 07:29.743 --> 07:36.769 He looks simple in the head, as if he may only be able to construct very simplistic bits of logic in his bons. 07:37.069 --> 07:41.492 There's just a man lying on the doormat under some rugs. 07:42.153 --> 07:43.734 He's frightened of the modern world. 07:44.995 --> 07:46.036 Is that prehistoric? 07:46.056 --> 07:46.336 Yeah. 07:46.716 --> 07:48.437 There's somebody, just somebody in bed. 07:48.497 --> 07:49.677 That's hardly prehistoric. 07:49.697 --> 07:51.838 I don't think they had beds in prehistory. 07:51.858 --> 07:52.979 Of course they did. 07:53.019 --> 07:58.421 They were made out of twigs and they came from a primitive version of IKEA. 07:58.761 --> 07:59.061 Right. 07:59.841 --> 08:00.742 Oh, that's quite good. 08:01.662 --> 08:06.104 She just looks as if she's also devolved to a prehistoric mental state. 08:07.104 --> 08:07.464 Yes. 08:07.944 --> 08:09.465 She's a sexy cave person. 08:09.605 --> 08:10.325 She really is. 08:10.445 --> 08:11.745 She's still overly clothed. 08:13.225 --> 08:14.166 Now, this is more like it. 08:14.186 --> 08:14.906 Look at this guy. 08:15.366 --> 08:16.106 Who's this guy? 08:16.386 --> 08:19.267 Oh, he's nude and he's trying to make fire in his bedroom. 08:19.747 --> 08:23.288 He's trying to make fire in his bedroom while wearing some little green pants. 08:23.928 --> 08:25.268 That's along the correct lines. 08:25.288 --> 08:26.628 Prehistoric life. 08:26.668 --> 08:31.049 He's evoking a whole world of prehistoric activity, though, with one simple image. 08:31.449 --> 08:34.290 Is having a tin bucket on your head is that prehistoric life? 08:34.870 --> 08:37.291 I don't think tin buckets were around in prehistory. 08:38.412 --> 08:44.235 That is from Lieutenant Wing Commodore Christopher D. Shamborsky. 08:44.255 --> 08:49.118 I don't know, he might have to be kicked out of the squadron for that flagrant disregard of what the command is. 08:49.578 --> 08:52.179 Unless he can justify his tin bucket hat. 08:53.840 --> 08:56.803 Well, you can keep those coming in, Squadron, and stay focused. 08:57.283 --> 09:00.486 Right now, he is one of the hot bands of last year. 09:00.867 --> 09:02.408 They're so over now, though. 09:02.648 --> 09:05.171 I mean, the Fleet Foxes, come on. 09:06.152 --> 09:07.353 Come on. 09:07.453 --> 09:08.954 So he got last year. 09:09.255 --> 09:10.436 So 2008, right? 09:11.477 --> 09:12.017 Let's hear them. 09:12.678 --> 09:14.139 This is, he doesn't know why. 09:14.159 --> 09:15.781 So last year. 09:17.076 --> 09:20.961 I'm joking, of course, that was Fleet Fox's with... He doesn't know why. 09:20.981 --> 09:24.105 It's timeless. 09:24.146 --> 09:25.247 It's an eternal sound. 09:25.347 --> 09:25.948 Great music. 09:26.669 --> 09:27.791 Great times. 09:27.971 --> 09:28.131 From 2008. 09:29.313 --> 09:30.354 Nearly the end of the decade. 09:30.755 --> 09:31.756 Isn't that extraordinary? 09:31.957 --> 09:32.597 Flipping heck. 09:33.334 --> 09:38.175 I always, in my mind, I had 2010 as still part of the Noughties, because it's not. 09:38.755 --> 09:39.935 It's the beginning of the teens, isn't it? 09:39.955 --> 09:40.656 What are they gonna call it? 09:40.896 --> 09:41.776 The teens? 09:42.136 --> 09:42.616 The tweenies. 09:42.676 --> 09:42.916 Yeah. 09:43.456 --> 09:43.916 The tweenies. 09:43.936 --> 09:44.416 The totties. 09:44.936 --> 09:46.037 The totties would be better. 09:46.557 --> 09:47.417 Welcome to the totties. 09:47.697 --> 09:53.578 So last week, listeners, I was excited because I was about to go off to interview the film director, Spike Jones. 09:53.598 --> 09:55.879 Yeah, we formulated some brilliant questions for him. 09:56.119 --> 09:56.459 Yes. 09:57.359 --> 10:14.641 and yeah they were can you remember what they were yeah they were who are you who what what you are you what do you do faves worsties jedwood jedwood um and then who do you know who do you do who do you do 10:14.801 --> 10:16.061 And then, bye! 10:16.842 --> 10:17.662 How did that go? 10:17.762 --> 10:20.603 And now, the first thing was, how were you going to greet him? 10:20.643 --> 10:24.404 Because you thought you might give him a knee in the nuts, didn't you? 10:24.724 --> 10:25.905 Knee in the nuts, yeah. 10:26.265 --> 10:27.665 Knee in the nuts in Jo's pickles. 10:27.765 --> 10:28.626 Jackass style. 10:28.706 --> 10:29.306 Exactly. 10:29.346 --> 10:31.207 That wouldn't have been an aggressive thing. 10:31.407 --> 10:31.687 No, no, no. 10:31.707 --> 10:33.347 It would have been a tribute, an homage. 10:33.367 --> 10:33.747 Exactly. 10:33.767 --> 10:36.068 To his oeuvre. 10:36.268 --> 10:38.809 I'm sorry to say, I'm ashamed to say I didn't do any of those things. 10:39.329 --> 10:42.070 I'm really sorry, I spacked out at the last minute because I was nervous. 10:42.110 --> 10:44.051 There was a lot of people... Not even a Jo's pickles. 10:44.651 --> 10:46.131 I think I may have given him a Yo's Bickels. 10:46.491 --> 10:51.812 You did this at the Oxford Circus store of a major computer retailer. 10:51.953 --> 10:52.213 Yeah. 10:52.993 --> 10:56.373 And they have a kind of peculiar theatre on their top floor, don't they? 10:56.533 --> 10:58.574 Yeah, where they do demonstrations and tutorials. 10:58.594 --> 11:02.595 It's got a big screen and six or seven rows of seats, quite long rows of seats. 11:02.675 --> 11:04.955 Yeah, I would say they were a couple of hundred people packed in there. 11:05.095 --> 11:05.575 Pretty good. 11:06.095 --> 11:11.676 All the seats were taken and then loads of people came and spectated, including various... Spickletated. 11:11.736 --> 11:14.217 ...geniuses and Apple Store... Spickletated. 11:14.557 --> 11:14.817 Yeah. 11:15.477 --> 11:16.217 Staff members. 11:16.617 --> 11:17.278 And it was good fun. 11:17.318 --> 11:18.458 It was really enjoyable. 11:18.818 --> 11:19.398 Went really well. 11:19.438 --> 11:25.959 Spike was very charming and accommodating and I did a thing where I presented a lot of YouTube comments to him. 11:25.979 --> 11:26.540 Right, right. 11:26.560 --> 11:29.440 From the trailer of where the wild things are. 11:29.480 --> 11:29.700 Right. 11:30.140 --> 11:31.441 Which was out yesterday, of course. 11:31.761 --> 11:32.261 Of course. 11:32.621 --> 11:35.421 And so it felt really good. 11:35.461 --> 11:36.542 Like by the end of it, it felt great. 11:36.562 --> 11:39.062 But then a podcast is available of the session, right? 11:39.662 --> 11:40.963 Go on iTunes and find it. 11:41.643 --> 11:41.803 And 11:43.263 --> 11:45.905 When I listened back to it, and it didn't sound quite so good. 11:47.086 --> 11:49.088 Like, it's just the audio, right? 11:49.128 --> 11:51.389 So there's a whole visual element that's missing. 11:51.409 --> 11:53.271 Excuses, excuses! 11:53.311 --> 11:54.091 Well, here's the thing. 11:55.192 --> 12:07.402 One thing that really made me reach for the pause button, that I'd forgotten I'd done, was, do you remember last, like when we were talking about the film, Off Air, you were talking about the fact that you liked it, you thought, what was your theory about it? 12:07.422 --> 12:09.904 You said it was enjoyably simple because it was 12:11.129 --> 12:11.970 Well, I don't know. 12:12.050 --> 12:13.791 You know the film Where the Wild Things Go? 12:13.811 --> 12:14.332 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 12:14.412 --> 12:15.032 Which you've seen. 12:15.373 --> 12:18.495 You had a little theory about why it worked so well. 12:18.815 --> 12:19.176 Yes. 12:19.516 --> 12:19.936 What was it? 12:20.157 --> 12:20.937 I don't remember. 12:21.097 --> 12:23.139 It was like it was a child's game or something. 12:23.159 --> 12:24.260 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 12:24.400 --> 12:24.560 Yeah. 12:24.640 --> 12:25.421 That was my theory. 12:25.681 --> 12:30.045 Yeah, it kind of captures that thing where you go off and have a big game with all your friends as a child. 12:30.565 --> 12:46.269 and it's amazingly exciting at first but then there's a weird disagreement where you fall out with someone and it turns a bit nasty and horrible and you get feeling, you start feeling all hot and weird and you don't really know why because you're too young to understand, you know, basic social dynamics and stuff. 12:46.549 --> 12:48.069 So all you can do is run back to your mummy. 12:48.329 --> 12:48.729 Exactly. 12:48.809 --> 12:51.650 And give her a hug and that's basically what that film was about to me. 12:51.690 --> 12:52.270 Did he not agree? 12:53.240 --> 12:57.084 Well, at a certain point I found myself regurgitating your theory because I got rattled. 12:57.144 --> 12:58.325 I ran out of things to say. 12:58.645 --> 13:06.754 And then as I started regurgitating it, quite badly I should add, I suddenly thought, maybe Joe's in the Apple Store watching this at this moment. 13:06.774 --> 13:10.537 I suddenly thought maybe you'd come in and I hadn't properly given you the right credit for it. 13:10.557 --> 13:11.058 Do you know what I mean? 13:11.078 --> 13:12.479 Because it was so obviously your theory. 13:13.360 --> 13:14.601 And then I got really rattled. 13:15.562 --> 13:16.904 I was at home asleep on the sofa. 13:16.944 --> 13:24.192 And my brain started melting and it got away from me and he had no response to the theorem whatsoever. 13:24.693 --> 13:27.396 So if you listen to the podcast you can hear that moment too. 13:27.416 --> 13:27.716 Wow. 13:28.837 --> 13:31.701 I'm sorry I sort of managed to psychically throw you off your stride. 13:31.721 --> 13:32.962 Well it was a good point. 13:33.002 --> 13:34.484 Like when you made it I thought yeah that's a good point. 13:34.844 --> 13:36.205 But then I found myself regurgitating. 13:36.245 --> 13:40.088 I was like, this isn't even my point and I'm regurgitating it badly. 13:41.048 --> 13:41.809 Sorry to ruin it. 13:41.969 --> 13:42.169 Sorry. 13:42.209 --> 13:46.532 I'm quite proud I managed to ruin it without actually being there or making any effort at all. 13:46.552 --> 13:47.552 Hooray! 13:48.093 --> 13:49.354 Long distance torpedo command. 13:49.374 --> 13:51.615 Long distance psychic, psychic warriage. 13:52.095 --> 13:53.556 So we should stand down Black Squadron. 13:53.596 --> 13:55.678 Speaking of psychic warriors, here's the jingle. 13:59.463 --> 14:14.449 Stand down, your work is done You've earned yourself a nice warm bath And maybe a nice little bun Get out of the Stone Age, Squadron It's just content 30, time for the news MGMT 14:16.124 --> 14:17.004 They're weirdos. 14:17.525 --> 14:18.645 That's electric feel. 14:18.945 --> 14:20.926 Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 14:21.146 --> 14:22.806 Shall we get into retro text the nation? 14:22.986 --> 14:23.246 No. 14:24.027 --> 14:24.167 Yes. 14:24.287 --> 14:38.792 I like to listen to Adam and Joe But I listen to the podcast not the live show I used to feel a cute frustration Because I couldn't join in with text the nation 14:39.492 --> 14:54.112 But now my troubles have disappeared Because rent rotates the nation's ear And now my letter might be read out Instead of thrown in the trash and forgotten about 14:54.974 --> 14:57.296 Apparently they're gonna be seeing that on X Factor tonight. 14:57.316 --> 14:57.656 Are they? 14:57.716 --> 14:57.937 Yeah. 14:58.317 --> 14:59.998 And am I gonna be like the mentor? 15:00.178 --> 15:00.439 Yeah. 15:00.659 --> 15:00.959 Am I? 15:01.239 --> 15:02.120 Yeah, mentor, mentor, mentor. 15:02.180 --> 15:03.761 No one's contacted me about that yet. 15:03.781 --> 15:04.142 Are they not? 15:04.442 --> 15:06.083 No, what time do I need to get down to the studio? 15:06.103 --> 15:06.664 About five. 15:07.244 --> 15:08.545 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 15:08.565 --> 15:09.987 Psycho was on the phone yesterday. 15:10.627 --> 15:11.007 Really? 15:11.288 --> 15:14.030 And saying, um... And am I mentoring all three of them? 15:14.050 --> 15:19.994 It's the best text the nation, retro text the nation jingle I've ever heard in my life. 15:20.034 --> 15:20.715 Who are the finalists? 15:20.755 --> 15:22.036 Jumbles, Winkles and Monty. 15:22.696 --> 15:22.956 Right? 15:23.016 --> 15:23.537 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 15:23.557 --> 15:24.798 Jumbles, Winkles, Monty. 15:25.418 --> 15:27.079 Winkles the hairdresser from Bolton. 15:27.360 --> 15:27.800 That's right. 15:27.820 --> 15:30.682 Yeah, with the tiny, tiny, tiny... Arms. 15:30.882 --> 15:31.162 Arms. 15:31.242 --> 15:31.443 Yeah. 15:31.763 --> 15:32.463 And the big head. 15:32.483 --> 15:32.764 Yeah. 15:33.684 --> 15:34.224 Winkles? 15:34.524 --> 15:34.845 Yep. 15:34.885 --> 15:37.006 The big, big, big, the big girl, the big girl. 15:37.086 --> 15:40.567 She's absolutely giant and she floats really big. 15:40.667 --> 15:41.167 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 15:41.187 --> 15:42.228 And that floats, yeah. 15:42.248 --> 15:42.908 She's full of helium. 15:43.328 --> 15:44.409 And who was the third one? 15:44.909 --> 15:45.489 Monty. 15:45.749 --> 15:47.090 Yeah, he's the really old guy. 15:47.410 --> 15:49.171 He's ancient, he's 150. 15:49.371 --> 15:51.132 It's gonna be an amazing final. 15:51.392 --> 15:52.092 Who's your money on? 15:52.392 --> 15:52.732 Monty. 15:53.073 --> 15:53.653 So is mine. 15:54.153 --> 15:54.974 Because he is the best. 15:55.014 --> 15:56.375 I mean, it's kind of a foregone conclusion. 15:56.455 --> 15:58.096 He's the best and he's got magic fingers. 15:58.116 --> 15:58.937 Sexiest as well. 15:58.957 --> 15:59.257 Exactly. 15:59.277 --> 16:02.139 And he can do that thing with the top of his head. 16:02.279 --> 16:03.700 Yeah, flip it around. 16:03.901 --> 16:04.481 Flip it around. 16:04.521 --> 16:05.122 Flip it all around. 16:05.422 --> 16:09.045 And also everyone feels sorry for him because of the feet. 16:10.986 --> 16:13.349 But wow, that's news for me though, so that's quite a bit. 16:13.369 --> 16:14.810 That's all the latest expected news. 16:14.830 --> 16:16.692 20 million people watching me mentor. 16:16.712 --> 16:19.535 Can you imagine how Monty's gonna sing that retro-texanation jingle? 16:19.615 --> 16:20.035 Amazingly. 16:25.280 --> 16:26.101 Watch out, Subo. 16:27.602 --> 16:30.384 Monty's coming up hard on your heels with his Christmas album. 16:30.885 --> 16:38.691 So Retro Text the Nation listeners is the part of the show where we give you the opportunity to contribute to last week's Text the Nation if you didn't do it last week. 16:38.751 --> 16:39.212 Yeah, exactly. 16:39.512 --> 16:48.680 And last week's Text the Nation subject was all about misconceptions that you have laboured beneath for almost the whole of your life and only recently had corrected. 16:49.140 --> 16:50.781 For example, I remembered one that I 16:51.562 --> 16:52.923 Hey, can I say a thing? 16:53.063 --> 16:55.946 A lot of people were complaining last week that this was just egg corns. 16:55.986 --> 16:58.348 And that's not egg corns. 16:58.428 --> 17:02.833 It may have seemed a little bit like egg corns because some of the ones we did last week were verbal. 17:03.213 --> 17:06.596 The egg corns were in the retro-textination Venn diagram. 17:06.596 --> 17:10.760 And egg corns are a subset of what do we call it? 17:10.820 --> 17:11.340 Misconceptions. 17:11.360 --> 17:12.421 Misconceptions, that's right. 17:12.441 --> 17:14.042 Sorry, my brain's not really functioning. 17:14.082 --> 17:18.026 But here, here's a misconception that I had, which is not an egg corn. 17:18.126 --> 17:20.368 Well, maybe it's kind of egg corn based. 17:20.908 --> 17:30.296 But when I was at school in Wales, as a little totty man, about six years old, I think, they would say the Lord's Prayer in the morning at assembly. 17:31.097 --> 17:34.740 Our Father who art in heaven, Allah be thy name, 17:35.140 --> 17:36.801 And I thought it was Aled be thy name. 17:37.161 --> 17:39.401 And the head boy of the school was called Aled. 17:39.762 --> 17:44.723 So I assumed that whoever was the head boy would have their name incorporated into the Lord's Prayer. 17:45.183 --> 17:48.344 And I desperately wanted that to be me, you know? 17:49.305 --> 17:53.686 We got another email along similar lines, even though of course now I'm not going to be able to remember who it was from. 17:53.706 --> 17:54.887 Hadn't be thy name. 17:55.027 --> 17:59.988 But a guy that misheard thanks Peter God, as thanks Peter God. 18:00.909 --> 18:02.189 And his dad was called Peter. 18:02.569 --> 18:03.029 Whoa! 18:03.049 --> 18:05.030 So he thought his dad was related to God. 18:05.050 --> 18:06.210 Come on, he probably is. 18:07.111 --> 18:13.012 Sorry whoever sent that in not to remember your name but I'm just recalling your email from my head that's how much impact it had. 18:13.072 --> 18:14.213 That's double complementary. 18:14.253 --> 18:14.793 Double complementary. 18:14.813 --> 18:15.593 And you know who you are. 18:15.813 --> 18:17.334 Tom in Leeds sent this in. 18:17.674 --> 18:23.896 Until about a year ago I thought a pony was just a really small horse and didn't realize that it's actually a different breed. 18:24.296 --> 18:27.237 Now this is a bone of contention because there was some people 18:28.177 --> 18:33.579 sending in messages about the fact that you can spell Realize with an S or a Z last week. 18:33.599 --> 18:38.101 I was complaining that I only recently found out it was spelled with an S and not a Z in the UK. 18:38.121 --> 18:40.062 A lot of people saying that's not the case. 18:40.282 --> 18:43.763 It's one of those words you can spell any way you want, they were saying. 18:44.063 --> 18:45.083 What about the pony thing? 18:45.103 --> 18:45.824 The pony thing. 18:45.904 --> 18:49.025 Well, according to Wikipedia, a pony is a small horse 18:49.665 --> 18:53.187 with a specific conformation and temperament. 18:53.247 --> 18:57.550 There are many different breeds of ponies compared to horses, ponies, blah, blah, blah. 18:57.910 --> 18:59.931 So a pony is a small horse. 18:59.951 --> 19:03.654 This guy's saying, I only, I thought a pony was a really small horse. 19:03.674 --> 19:07.056 You don't get a can of worms and you can't get the worms back in the can. 19:07.436 --> 19:07.936 No, I can. 19:08.377 --> 19:08.817 He's wrong. 19:09.077 --> 19:09.577 Tom in Leeds. 19:09.617 --> 19:10.098 Don't worry. 19:10.158 --> 19:10.378 Yeah. 19:10.538 --> 19:13.680 And so a pony can be any sort of young horse, small horse, a small horse. 19:13.700 --> 19:15.141 It's about the height of the horse. 19:15.181 --> 19:16.021 Not about the breed. 19:16.201 --> 19:16.962 Not necessarily. 19:17.402 --> 19:25.629 Here's a good one I got from Hughal Sedgwick-Jell, a friend of mine until the age of 15 thought that everybody sat on the toilet the wrong way round, i.e. 19:25.709 --> 19:28.352 facing the wall with one's arms on the cistern. 19:28.752 --> 19:31.935 It was only when it came up in conversation that he realised this was not normal. 19:32.867 --> 19:37.068 Now, Huels Sedgwick-Gel in this email suggests that that's such a powerful idea. 19:37.228 --> 19:37.869 What's his name? 19:38.069 --> 19:39.369 Huels Sedgwick-Gel. 19:40.629 --> 19:41.670 That's a brilliant name. 19:42.750 --> 19:44.551 He thinks that's such a powerful idea. 19:44.611 --> 19:50.592 He's convinced that 90% of our listeners will now go and try that next time they go to the toilet. 19:50.712 --> 19:50.953 Yeah. 19:51.113 --> 19:53.833 They will attempt to sort of ride it like a horse or a motorbike. 19:54.334 --> 19:55.674 Sit on it like Catherine Keaton. 19:55.894 --> 20:03.058 I think that's unhygienic, because your knees and your feet will go into areas that are usually just splashback based. 20:03.658 --> 20:04.299 Do you know what I mean? 20:04.599 --> 20:05.980 Well, it depends how much clearance you've got. 20:06.500 --> 20:07.901 And it depends how clean is your house. 20:08.621 --> 20:10.342 Also... How clean your house is. 20:10.502 --> 20:11.343 That's not how you say that. 20:11.403 --> 20:14.965 Your julies are going to get a little kind of spritz there when you flush, aren't they? 20:15.445 --> 20:37.858 so it's it's like a well that's an extra kind of it's like a bidet that's an extra sort of european touch i don't see any i'm not gonna be drawbacks i'm just sitting that way around i see none drawbacks none drawbacks yeah because you can lean you can do a little bit of work you can have your laptop you could have your laptop on there unless you've got a curvy system but if you've got a nice flat system oh you can have a little bit of lunch 20:38.058 --> 20:42.482 Let us know how that goes, everybody out there, if you take up fuel Sedgwick gels idea. 20:42.542 --> 20:44.303 I'd like to get the Julie Spritz. 20:46.004 --> 20:47.385 Julie Spritz. 20:47.425 --> 20:48.606 I know someone called Julie Spritz. 20:48.626 --> 20:49.707 She's a very talented actress. 20:50.388 --> 20:54.330 Here's a message right now from Charlotte in Edinburgh. 20:55.191 --> 21:04.101 And she says, Dear Adam and Jo, not so long ago, my boyfriend, my brother and myself were having a conversation about music and a TLC song was relevant to my argument. 21:04.402 --> 21:06.043 I couldn't remember the name of the band. 21:06.284 --> 21:13.111 So I said, you know, the girl group with Lisa left I Lopez and the chorus goes, go, go, Jason, waterfall. 21:15.292 --> 21:17.733 Take me to the rivers and the lakes you used to. 21:18.053 --> 21:24.754 This was greeted with an uproar of laughter from my boyfriend and brother as they told me the lyrics were, in fact, don't go chasing waterfalls. 21:25.234 --> 21:36.697 I had always imagined that this song was about an ex-boyfriend called Jason Waterfall, who used to take his girlfriend to lakes, streams, any kind of romantic watery spot. 21:36.957 --> 21:40.417 To be honest, I prefer my version and am still unable to learn the new lyrics. 21:40.738 --> 21:42.398 Thanks, Charlotte from Edinburgh. 21:43.178 --> 21:45.358 Go, go, Jason Waterfall. 21:45.498 --> 21:46.519 That is better, don't you think? 21:46.679 --> 21:47.059 Yeah. 21:47.499 --> 21:48.599 Much better than anything else. 21:48.619 --> 21:49.419 Jason Waterfalls. 21:49.519 --> 21:51.180 I wonder if he knows Julie Spritzer. 21:51.500 --> 21:52.260 He probably does. 21:52.420 --> 21:53.040 Julie Spritz. 21:53.060 --> 21:53.680 Julie Spritz. 21:53.960 --> 21:54.240 Yeah. 21:55.280 --> 21:56.721 Imagine if they were in a film together. 21:57.061 --> 21:59.501 We should have more of these because we've got quite a few good responses. 21:59.561 --> 22:00.461 Can we not have more now? 22:00.761 --> 22:01.301 Give us one more. 22:01.581 --> 22:02.002 One more. 22:02.142 --> 22:03.522 Did you know that pigeons have nipples? 22:03.882 --> 22:04.582 Yes, that's right. 22:04.602 --> 22:04.982 They do. 22:05.422 --> 22:09.303 Or so I thought after my primary school teacher told us that pigeons suckle their young. 22:10.123 --> 22:19.073 Fast forward to 20 years later, a young man has just started an important new job, and sitting in a crowded tea room decides to impress his new colleagues with this rare and interesting fact. 22:19.674 --> 22:22.316 Even as the words were leaving my mouth, I could tell something was wrong. 22:22.737 --> 22:26.861 Despite the looks of confusion turning to consternation, I stubbornly battled on through to the end of my telling. 22:27.142 --> 22:30.946 This is from Rob Jones in London, thinking there that pigeons suckle their young. 22:31.286 --> 22:32.307 and have little pigeon nipples. 22:32.327 --> 22:40.453 A lovely little mother pigeon lying on her side with lots of little baby pigeons suckling happily and keenly on her nipples. 22:40.633 --> 22:43.195 She would get a lot of chafing with the beaks. 22:43.715 --> 22:45.496 Yeah, she'd have to part the feathers as well. 22:46.857 --> 22:51.040 But there we go, so Rob was laboring under that illusion for a while. 22:52.181 --> 22:53.402 That's a sexy image. 22:56.745 --> 22:58.506 Stopping their feathers to reveal. 23:05.683 --> 23:12.371 Hey folks, after this Richard Hawley record we're about to play, we're going to try and speak to Claire Runacres, the news lady. 23:12.391 --> 23:13.453 I don't know if you heard the news. 23:13.873 --> 23:14.995 She's got a bad cold show. 23:15.015 --> 23:17.057 She's ill and we deserve to know really. 23:17.318 --> 23:19.661 Yeah, so we're going to see if she's up for talking to us. 23:19.861 --> 23:21.862 This is Richard Hawley with Open Up Your Door. 23:22.022 --> 23:28.864 That was Richard Hawley sounding like a kind of Las Vegas crooning man with Open Up Your Door. 23:28.924 --> 23:34.966 That's taken from the album True Love's Gutter, his sixth studio album that was released in September of this year. 23:35.286 --> 23:36.346 It was my album of the year. 23:36.586 --> 23:36.926 Really? 23:37.166 --> 23:37.987 No, I'm just saying that. 23:38.207 --> 23:39.427 They say it was a good album, though. 23:39.467 --> 23:40.447 Congratulations, Richard. 23:40.887 --> 23:46.129 Now, we've been joined in the studio by Claire Runacres, who was reading the news this morning on Six Music. 23:46.269 --> 23:52.394 We've invited Claire in because we had a lot of correspondence about Claire's delivery during her last bulletin. 23:52.914 --> 23:56.137 We had texts along the lines of, does the news lady have a cold? 23:56.517 --> 23:58.358 Has that newsreader got a cold or what? 23:58.799 --> 24:01.100 Has your newsreader got a clothes peg on her nose? 24:01.541 --> 24:02.381 Et cetera, et cetera. 24:02.401 --> 24:05.684 So we thought we were the sort of show that should set the story straight. 24:05.864 --> 24:06.104 Yeah. 24:06.885 --> 24:08.246 And get the newsreader in. 24:08.626 --> 24:11.468 Claire, would you say, I'll give you a sample sentence. 24:11.508 --> 24:15.031 How about around the ragged rock, the ragged rascal ran or something like that? 24:15.646 --> 24:17.547 Around the ragged rock, the ragged rascal ran. 24:17.567 --> 24:19.868 You sound better now than you did on your bullet. 24:19.928 --> 24:20.889 Are you hamming it up? 24:21.909 --> 24:24.050 It's no, it's the nuh I can't do. 24:24.191 --> 24:25.331 I'm totally bunged up. 24:25.691 --> 24:33.455 We were so impressed when we heard you because we thought it was such a strong cold and it sounds so strong, we thought it was very brave of you to come into work. 24:33.515 --> 24:34.476 Yeah, you soldered in. 24:34.856 --> 24:37.558 You could easily have taken a sickie. 24:37.738 --> 24:39.279 Why didn't you pull a sickie, mate? 24:39.399 --> 24:39.919 Sickie, mate. 24:41.562 --> 24:42.963 She's too professional. 24:42.983 --> 24:44.485 Look, we could easily read the news. 24:44.545 --> 24:46.146 It doesn't matter how serious it is. 24:46.426 --> 24:48.348 We've got the necessary gravitas. 24:48.368 --> 24:49.409 We're trained in news. 24:49.509 --> 24:50.730 Well, this could be arranged. 24:51.251 --> 24:53.933 But you seem more quirky than the new sound. 24:53.953 --> 24:55.414 Have you even got a cold at all? 24:55.454 --> 24:57.416 Well, no, I'm just putting it on just for the effects. 24:57.516 --> 24:59.438 She doesn't sound like she's got the cold anymore. 24:59.458 --> 25:01.580 So you don't actually feel bad, you would say? 25:01.600 --> 25:02.140 No, I feel fine. 25:02.180 --> 25:03.221 I just sound stupid. 25:03.401 --> 25:04.602 Yeah, and you don't sound stupid. 25:04.622 --> 25:06.484 You sound sort of tired and sexy. 25:06.980 --> 25:08.561 Well, that's not so bad. 25:08.941 --> 25:12.084 But when you were reading the news, your voice was almost getting croaky as well. 25:12.124 --> 25:23.932 Like you sounded, you were doing the voice basically that I used to do when I phoned in sick and the technique is to lie on your bed backwards with your, like lie on your back on your bed, hang your head over the side of the bed. 25:24.431 --> 25:28.272 And that makes your voice sound kind of strained and croaky like that if you do it. 25:28.533 --> 25:31.094 And that's a good way of phoning in sick, and you had that voice. 25:31.214 --> 25:32.054 Well, thanks for that tip. 25:32.074 --> 25:33.334 Maybe I should have used it this morning. 25:33.535 --> 25:34.915 Well, you didn't need to, though, did you? 25:34.935 --> 25:36.436 Because you sounded really bunged up. 25:36.696 --> 25:37.896 And you're heavily pregnant? 25:38.296 --> 25:39.357 That's part of the problem. 25:39.397 --> 25:40.877 I'd take something for it, but I can't. 25:41.037 --> 25:41.538 Yeah, yeah. 25:42.238 --> 25:43.558 I'm glad she's actually pregnant. 25:44.319 --> 25:45.279 Not just like a little bit. 25:46.019 --> 25:47.380 She doesn't sound ill anymore. 25:48.120 --> 25:49.481 What's happened to the bunged up voice? 25:49.501 --> 25:50.081 We cured her! 25:50.501 --> 25:51.282 We've cured her. 25:51.362 --> 25:52.844 It's Dr. Buckles and Dr. Sexy. 25:53.004 --> 25:54.265 I've passed it on to you guys. 25:54.746 --> 25:56.107 Oh yes, that's the point, isn't it? 25:56.127 --> 25:57.389 What are we doing inviting you in here? 25:57.409 --> 25:57.909 Get her out! 25:58.550 --> 26:00.432 Well Claire, I'm glad you're feeling okay. 26:00.893 --> 26:02.735 And very good luck with the pregnancy. 26:03.376 --> 26:04.617 End of January you're due. 26:04.797 --> 26:05.278 Yeah. 26:05.538 --> 26:06.979 I hope that goes well for you. 26:07.700 --> 26:09.662 And there you go, listeners. 26:09.742 --> 26:10.322 Claire's all right. 26:10.342 --> 26:11.103 She's in one piece. 26:11.203 --> 26:12.204 Thank you for your concern. 26:12.224 --> 26:14.025 You'll be hearing more from her at 11.30. 26:14.786 --> 26:16.367 But right now, Joe, you've got a free play for us. 26:16.407 --> 26:16.788 Do I? 26:17.248 --> 26:18.149 Is this the M Ward? 26:18.609 --> 26:19.450 Yeah, this is M Ward. 26:19.490 --> 26:22.072 He's a sort of Los Angeles fashionable singing man. 26:22.733 --> 26:25.175 And he's done a cover of David Bowie's Let's Dance. 26:25.495 --> 26:26.456 This is what it sounds like. 26:26.476 --> 26:28.497 Six music. 26:29.574 --> 26:34.821 Later today, songs with girls shouting with Jimmy Wingwong. 26:35.742 --> 26:39.467 Then at midnight, DJ Scratch Max. 26:39.567 --> 26:43.252 Scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch. 26:43.592 --> 26:46.937 But now, oh, it's Adam and Jo. 26:49.801 --> 26:50.402 Hey, listeners. 26:50.702 --> 26:51.242 How are you doing? 26:51.302 --> 26:52.543 Adam and Joe here on 6 Media. 26:52.563 --> 26:55.446 That was the Killers with all these things that I've done. 26:55.986 --> 27:01.931 We have been here only an hour because the show started at 10am, not 9am this week. 27:02.531 --> 27:04.272 We started starting at 10. 27:04.553 --> 27:07.215 We started starting at 10 last week. 27:08.416 --> 27:12.239 And that's where we're going to be now for the next few weeks at least. 27:12.859 --> 27:17.760 Last week's retro textination was about parties, right? 27:17.840 --> 27:18.820 Amazing parties. 27:18.920 --> 27:19.160 Yeah. 27:19.760 --> 27:39.444 And we had an email from a man who wrote into us about an incredible student party, which involved a sort of homemade water slide coming out of the first floor of a house, curling around the garden and going back into the front room where they had got a massive tarpaulin and pinned it against the walls and filled it with water and made a huge indoor pool. 27:39.504 --> 27:40.704 And it sounded incredible. 27:41.064 --> 27:44.565 Well, I would say I was poo-pooing the notion that they'd actually gone through with it. 27:44.665 --> 27:52.648 Adam poo-pooed in the pool, and... but... And we also accused the gentleman that sent this email, whose name we can't remember. 27:53.249 --> 27:54.169 Yeah, true to form. 27:54.989 --> 27:56.570 Uh, we accused him of being a liar. 27:56.690 --> 27:57.330 Massive liar. 27:57.430 --> 27:58.731 I think his name was Tom. 27:58.771 --> 28:00.051 Why do I think his name was Tom? 28:00.071 --> 28:00.611 You always do. 28:00.631 --> 28:01.652 We get a lot of Tom's, you know. 28:02.672 --> 28:03.533 So it's a good guess, though? 28:03.553 --> 28:04.593 Yeah, it's a good guess. 28:04.633 --> 28:05.454 It's a common name. 28:05.694 --> 28:05.934 Tom. 28:06.174 --> 28:08.895 Tom's usually the kind of person that builds a water slide. 28:09.215 --> 28:14.578 Anyway, he sent us photos of this party, and lo and behold, it appears to be completely true. 28:15.078 --> 28:25.884 The photo was an extraordinary, jerry-built pool with about, you know, 10 or 11 very drunk-looking students in it, and very off-colour water. 28:26.925 --> 28:28.746 I mean, it looked pretty revolting. 28:29.227 --> 28:31.889 It looked like a sort of fun cesspit. 28:31.969 --> 28:32.209 Soup. 28:33.530 --> 28:35.111 Student soup. 28:35.792 --> 28:39.415 Yeah, not a lot of water in there, mostly just urine, alcohol and sweat. 28:39.515 --> 28:40.656 And some crunchy croutons. 28:41.296 --> 28:47.101 But it's true, the party did happen and so hats off to you, whoever you are, you're probably Tom. 28:47.421 --> 28:49.823 And we're sorry that we labelled you a liar. 28:49.883 --> 28:51.925 Yeah, the cast will take back that accusation. 28:52.338 --> 28:55.683 Now, Joe, you were saying just while we were playing The Killers there. 28:55.703 --> 28:57.045 Yeah, I've got to get something off my chest. 28:57.085 --> 29:01.451 I had an altercation in a popular coffee chain. 29:01.872 --> 29:07.740 It's that sandwich shop that has aluminium in it, you know, and lots of star shapes around the place. 29:08.681 --> 29:16.203 I go there regularly every morning for a delicious croissant and I was standing in the queue and this particular chain has quite a chaotic queuing system, e.g. 29:16.503 --> 29:17.283 it doesn't have one. 29:17.563 --> 29:19.084 Yeah, it's often very busy in the morning. 29:19.884 --> 29:29.266 So I was standing waiting for my delicious croissant in a queue, a sort of queue that had informally formed, and it was a sort of one queue for about four checkouts. 29:30.086 --> 29:32.607 They have lots of checkouts at this place and they're usually pretty good. 29:32.927 --> 29:35.248 So I was in that queue, I was about five people away from the queue. 29:35.869 --> 29:44.912 On my right passed me swan the young lady doing a message on her pink blackberry and she headed straight past the queue up to the counter. 29:45.312 --> 29:47.453 Okay, so lady mark. 29:48.013 --> 29:48.694 So corn balls. 29:49.594 --> 29:58.939 reaches out and touches her arm and says, excuse me, there's a cue here, right? 29:59.059 --> 30:01.641 Well, you see, there we go, you've honed in on the point. 30:01.741 --> 30:02.621 Hand on the shoulder. 30:02.701 --> 30:10.466 As soon as I touched her arm, she turned around and looked at me as if I had the severed head of her mother in my hand. 30:10.586 --> 30:10.946 Did you? 30:11.526 --> 30:13.347 I didn't, no, I'd left it at home. 30:13.428 --> 30:15.869 But she looked at me as if I actually had it with me. 30:16.449 --> 30:21.352 as if I pulled it out of some sort of bowling ball bag and gone, look at the severed head of your mother. 30:22.093 --> 30:23.473 She was so shocked. 30:24.094 --> 30:28.456 She literally gasped and stared at me in silence. 30:28.857 --> 30:33.339 And I sort of smiled weakly and said, we're queuing. 30:33.459 --> 30:34.760 I carried on forcing my point. 30:35.160 --> 30:35.621 And she said, 30:37.042 --> 30:38.663 How dare you touch me? 30:39.524 --> 30:41.846 How dare you reach out and grab my arm? 30:42.586 --> 30:44.007 I said, I didn't grab your arm. 30:44.067 --> 30:44.868 I touched your arm. 30:45.428 --> 30:49.371 That is so aggressive, she said. 30:49.391 --> 30:54.255 I was like, is it really aggressive to lightly touch someone's arm? 30:54.275 --> 30:56.256 What are you going to do next, steal my blackberry? 30:56.517 --> 30:58.558 No, you didn't say that. 30:58.979 --> 31:00.860 It's like, curve your enthusiasm. 31:01.000 --> 31:01.520 So I just. 31:01.941 --> 31:02.101 What? 31:02.261 --> 31:04.483 I just touched your, I barely touched your arm. 31:05.197 --> 31:07.120 Well, I couldn't react in that kind of way. 31:07.180 --> 31:10.364 I were totally short-circuited, because I just didn't understand. 31:10.424 --> 31:12.507 To me it was as if she was insane. 31:12.987 --> 31:14.349 Insanely overreacting. 31:14.429 --> 31:20.557 But you just can't be sure, because it was suddenly a very public confrontation, because now of course the whole of... 31:21.178 --> 31:24.000 the aluminium sandwich shop was now staring at us. 31:24.220 --> 31:24.421 Right. 31:24.981 --> 31:26.322 Do you get any Stevens? 31:27.003 --> 31:28.003 Didn't get any Stevens, no. 31:28.043 --> 31:31.046 In fact, this place was right next to the BBC here. 31:31.186 --> 31:31.726 Yeah, I know the one. 31:31.746 --> 31:36.850 So I'm convinced that this young woman had a haughtiness that could only come from working at the BBC. 31:36.870 --> 31:37.631 From the castle. 31:37.831 --> 31:39.152 Yeah, probably Radio 4. 31:39.672 --> 31:40.452 Castle based hortiness. 31:40.492 --> 31:41.413 Castle based hortiness. 31:41.433 --> 31:42.113 I'm just guessing. 31:43.074 --> 31:46.756 But anyway, I was quite sort of vilified and confused. 31:47.476 --> 31:49.437 And she did join the back of the queue. 31:49.517 --> 31:54.660 And when I bought my breakfast kit, I was so polite to the person serving. 31:54.680 --> 31:54.960 Yeah. 31:54.980 --> 31:58.842 I was sort of extra polite so everyone could tell I wasn't a bad person. 31:59.022 --> 31:59.342 Yeah. 31:59.703 --> 32:04.085 And then I started thinking, what would be a brilliant verbal salvo for as I exit? 32:04.425 --> 32:04.625 Right. 32:04.645 --> 32:05.486 Because I'd very much 32:06.306 --> 32:11.531 sort of stayed silent, and I could have been cheekier, I could have risen to her confrontational tone, but I didn't. 32:11.791 --> 32:12.532 You know what I would have done? 32:12.792 --> 32:12.972 What? 32:13.132 --> 32:13.753 Squeezed her ass. 32:14.033 --> 32:15.174 Would you? 32:16.035 --> 32:16.956 Little pat on the bum. 32:16.996 --> 32:17.817 Calm down, darling. 32:18.157 --> 32:19.098 Better luck next time. 32:19.118 --> 32:19.658 I'm sorry. 32:19.678 --> 32:20.719 You know what I was going to say? 32:20.739 --> 32:22.241 You know what I had ready in my head? 32:22.281 --> 32:24.603 I apologise for that language-incidentally-listeness. 32:24.763 --> 32:27.566 I was going to turn and look at her and say, bye! 32:27.706 --> 32:28.727 Good luck with being nuts! 32:30.458 --> 32:31.919 That was my line in my head. 32:32.079 --> 32:33.119 I thought, this is good, this is good. 32:33.139 --> 32:34.140 What's she gonna come back to? 32:34.640 --> 32:37.601 And I've left so much of a pause between the altercation. 32:38.001 --> 32:39.922 That's just gonna, that's gonna ruin her week. 32:40.142 --> 32:41.683 Yes, and I will have won, but I didn't say it. 32:41.903 --> 32:42.924 Good luck with being nuts. 32:43.064 --> 32:44.084 Good luck with being nuts! 32:44.664 --> 32:47.026 And I would have run out of the shop at high speed! 32:48.146 --> 32:49.888 People don't like it when you invade their space. 32:50.008 --> 32:51.670 People don't like being touched, do they? 32:51.690 --> 32:56.636 Do you remember my story about the King Kriya social concert when I told those two ladies to be quiet? 32:56.716 --> 32:58.859 It was the very same lady face I got. 32:58.919 --> 33:01.442 You put your hand on her shoulder in that situation. 33:01.522 --> 33:05.186 My long-term partner gives me when I touch her. 33:05.667 --> 33:06.087 It's not. 33:06.107 --> 33:07.029 She loves to be touched. 33:07.609 --> 33:10.611 How dare you touch, what are you gonna do, steal my black brie? 33:10.691 --> 33:11.532 Is this a new rule? 33:11.552 --> 33:14.674 Are you not allowed to touch another human being unless you know them? 33:14.734 --> 33:15.214 Is that a thing? 33:15.234 --> 33:17.556 Do you go on a, do I have to go on a register now? 33:17.976 --> 33:18.536 He's weird. 33:18.596 --> 33:19.777 It's, I mean, it's outrageous. 33:19.817 --> 33:21.538 It's like being, getting an electric catapult. 33:21.678 --> 33:22.999 I really didn't grab her arm. 33:23.039 --> 33:23.880 I bet you didn't. 33:23.960 --> 33:25.000 I lit, I touched it. 33:25.160 --> 33:25.401 Yeah. 33:25.561 --> 33:26.922 I may have tried to stop her. 33:28.363 --> 33:30.425 It may have been a slight bit of pressure, anyway. 33:30.485 --> 33:31.707 What do you think, listeners? 33:31.927 --> 33:33.088 Did I step over a line? 33:33.449 --> 33:35.711 Or should everyone just touch strangers a bit more? 33:36.032 --> 33:36.592 Sure, I do. 33:36.653 --> 33:38.074 I mean, I'm a big fan of strangers. 33:38.094 --> 33:39.115 You love to touch strangers. 33:39.155 --> 33:40.297 You do it at night, don't you? 33:40.357 --> 33:41.478 Dressed in your special clothes. 33:41.498 --> 33:42.279 I'll goose anyone. 33:42.459 --> 33:43.260 Climbing windows. 33:43.761 --> 33:44.642 Down drain pipes. 33:44.662 --> 33:45.363 They really like it. 33:45.763 --> 33:47.483 Hey, I'm Spring Heeled Buxton. 33:47.744 --> 33:49.584 It's Gary Newman and Little Boots time. 33:49.604 --> 34:00.747 This was recorded especially for BBC Six Music and it was... You can go to the Six Music website if you'd like to watch a video of the performance we're about to play you. 34:00.807 --> 34:03.808 This is Gary Newman and Little Boots with our friends Electric. 34:04.008 --> 34:04.788 Gary Newman! 34:06.110 --> 34:07.391 And little boots there. 34:07.551 --> 34:18.661 I mean, the spoken bit in the middle of that are Friends Electric, which incidentally, don't forget, you can see on the Six Music website, you can watch a video of that performance and you can hear the whole show from last night on the iPlayer. 34:19.361 --> 34:20.923 But Gary, he's just mumbling. 34:21.523 --> 34:23.285 He's king of the mumblers. 34:24.425 --> 34:26.067 But he's very, very good at mumbling. 34:26.187 --> 34:28.089 He was just sounding like a sort of old drunkie. 34:29.333 --> 34:30.715 Controversial music today. 34:30.895 --> 34:36.661 That cover of David Bowie's Let's Dance by M Ward has provoked the I... What's the word? 34:36.701 --> 34:38.302 Higher of our listeners. 34:38.322 --> 34:39.263 It was a little downbeat. 34:39.704 --> 34:40.565 Guy from Coventry. 34:40.705 --> 34:41.646 Absolute rubbish. 34:42.386 --> 34:43.247 Can't dance to that. 34:43.327 --> 34:44.649 Bowie deserves better than that. 34:46.189 --> 34:48.230 There's another quite negative one down there. 34:48.790 --> 34:49.170 It's not. 34:49.210 --> 34:51.891 It says that was a terrible, terrible cover of Let's Dance. 34:51.911 --> 34:53.892 Don't ever darken my radio with it again. 34:54.552 --> 34:55.333 Frankly, I like it. 34:55.373 --> 34:57.834 Very late at night, about one in the morning, played very loud. 34:58.134 --> 34:59.174 It really hits the spot. 34:59.214 --> 35:00.515 I like M Ward very much. 35:00.655 --> 35:06.717 M Ward's good, but I suppose it's a bit of an obvious gambit to play an upbeat song in a sort of downbeat solo guitar thing. 35:06.757 --> 35:12.620 It's quite an easy way to go, but that in and of itself shouldn't be enough ground to dismiss it, should it, Count Buckley's? 35:13.340 --> 35:21.223 No, I mean not if you do something sufficiently interesting with it, which may be immortal Well, I think it's he's been very subtle and it's a yes. 35:21.423 --> 35:21.823 Oh, it is. 35:21.883 --> 35:25.665 Yes Yeah, and it depends on when and where you listen Hey 35:29.726 --> 35:30.687 You should. 35:31.287 --> 35:34.810 You're taking a chance and you're pushing the boundaries. 35:34.870 --> 35:39.613 You're popping your head through the noon barrier and saying, hey, I mean, you haven't actually popped you. 35:39.673 --> 35:41.175 It was 45 minutes until we popped. 35:41.195 --> 35:42.135 I'm trying to push it through. 35:42.155 --> 35:43.156 It won't go yet. 35:43.296 --> 35:43.957 It's really close. 35:43.977 --> 35:47.079 But don't worry about a couple of naysayers out there, all right? 35:47.339 --> 35:48.620 They're narrow-minded. 35:49.080 --> 35:49.440 Are they? 35:49.521 --> 35:49.921 All right. 35:50.341 --> 35:51.082 It was very nice. 35:51.122 --> 35:52.403 We all liked it, didn't we, folks? 35:52.743 --> 35:55.185 Let's have some more retro-texanation. 35:55.865 --> 35:56.345 Yes, let's. 36:14.190 --> 36:14.710 Yeah. 36:14.990 --> 36:27.335 So, Retrotext the Nation, as we reminded you earlier, last week was all about things you've kind of got wrong, miscomprehensions, misunderstandings, things that you've only just learned and make you feel retrospectively like a fool. 36:27.776 --> 36:28.836 Misconceptions. 36:29.476 --> 36:30.497 Misconceptions. 36:31.477 --> 36:33.978 This is a message that I got from... Hey, that was... What was that? 36:34.018 --> 36:34.999 That was another jingle. 36:35.019 --> 36:35.539 Uh-huh. 36:35.879 --> 36:37.020 We can't have- what was that? 36:37.060 --> 36:38.081 That was a jingle clash. 36:38.441 --> 36:41.584 Jingle clash for like a subsection- For retrotext the nation. 36:41.864 --> 36:44.707 If we just honed it into a misconceptions feature. 36:44.887 --> 36:47.609 You're getting into an individual jingle for each new subject. 36:47.630 --> 36:48.070 Conceptions? 36:48.570 --> 36:51.573 Here's one from Evan in Sydney, Australia. 36:51.593 --> 36:53.655 We've got a lot of listeners in Australia, don't we? 36:53.775 --> 36:55.457 And none of them will have us to stay. 36:55.537 --> 36:58.339 No, I mean why don't the BBC fly us out there and do a little tour? 36:58.379 --> 36:58.840 I'd love that. 36:58.920 --> 36:59.240 Stupid. 36:59.540 --> 37:11.842 He says, greetings AJ, whilst driving through a tunnel that went underwater, my girlfriend said she always worried when driving through them in case there was a puncture in the tunnel and water would come gushing through. 37:12.542 --> 37:14.643 For a moment, I entertained that thought. 37:15.023 --> 37:19.063 But then I started wondering how they would build a tunnel in the water. 37:19.503 --> 37:23.004 Surely they don't have builders in wetsuits with scuba diving gear. 37:23.484 --> 37:27.985 Then we realised they probably built under the ground, which is below the water. 37:31.088 --> 37:35.954 Well, I don't actually know, because as I was reading this message, I was thinking, you know, I don't really know, Evan. 37:36.655 --> 37:41.581 Maybe surely they sometimes do, they put pipelines in the sea, right? 37:41.802 --> 37:44.605 Then you do get scuba men with underwater. 37:44.625 --> 37:46.969 Yeah, but then they just have to sort of lower the pipes. 37:47.429 --> 37:47.809 Yeah. 37:47.869 --> 37:48.570 ...and connect them. 37:48.870 --> 37:52.832 That's the way I thought they'd... Like big pipes, and then they flush the water out of them. 37:52.972 --> 37:54.173 That's the way I thought they did them. 37:54.193 --> 37:57.574 If you go on the Eurostar under the channel... Yeah. 37:57.974 --> 38:01.436 ...everybody on that train is thinking the same thing as you go into the tunnel. 38:01.476 --> 38:01.696 Right. 38:01.896 --> 38:06.659 You're having sort of Sylvester Stallone-style fantasies about some kind of underwater train disaster. 38:06.679 --> 38:06.999 Uh-huh. 38:07.279 --> 38:07.659 Don't you? 38:07.980 --> 38:08.200 Sure. 38:08.220 --> 38:12.602 Is it impossible not to have a fleeting reverie about some sort of underwater disaster? 38:12.622 --> 38:13.422 No, it's very unpleasant. 38:13.442 --> 38:14.062 I don't like it. 38:14.243 --> 38:15.803 I'm very relieved when we emerge. 38:15.843 --> 38:17.083 Yeah, when you emerge at the other end. 38:17.183 --> 38:21.385 And then the other thing that people must think about generally is how the hell they built the thing. 38:21.545 --> 38:21.765 Right. 38:21.925 --> 38:23.065 They should have a little booklet. 38:23.165 --> 38:23.826 Do you know, James? 38:24.466 --> 38:25.106 You're clever than us. 38:25.166 --> 38:25.946 We don't know anything. 38:25.966 --> 38:26.546 We don't know anything. 38:26.906 --> 38:27.207 Nothing. 38:27.307 --> 38:27.847 Someone tell us. 38:28.107 --> 38:31.808 You could build it full of water in scuba suits, then suck the water out like a giant straw. 38:31.828 --> 38:32.668 That's what I'm saying, yes. 38:32.988 --> 38:34.049 Either flush it or suck it. 38:34.249 --> 38:34.469 Yeah. 38:35.029 --> 38:35.769 Anyway, we don't know. 38:35.789 --> 38:36.589 Have you got one there? 38:36.629 --> 38:37.269 I certainly do. 38:37.329 --> 38:38.050 Here are some good ones. 38:38.070 --> 38:39.690 Here's one from Ellie from Aylesbury. 38:39.730 --> 38:44.991 Until recently, I always thought the popular lemon-lime carbonated drink 7UP was actually called ZUP. 38:45.551 --> 38:48.872 Because of the packaging, I still think that sounds way better. 38:49.052 --> 38:50.012 They could rebrand it. 38:50.052 --> 38:51.272 They should rebrand it ZUP. 38:51.532 --> 38:52.092 Yeah, ZUP. 38:52.152 --> 38:55.933 Another quickie from Beth WilderSpin, WilderSpin. 38:56.393 --> 39:00.294 An indigestion tablet advert a few years ago encouraged you to suck them and see. 39:01.074 --> 39:09.341 I, for a long time, thought that they contained a new type of vitamin or wonder drug called Succoman C. That's pretty good. 39:09.361 --> 39:16.027 Yes, I'm afraid you're severely lacking in Succoman C. You need a little injection there. 39:16.607 --> 39:19.450 Here's one from Trev Rowe. 39:20.010 --> 39:21.972 He says, Hi Cornish Boggles and Buckles. 39:22.472 --> 39:23.813 Nice to include boggles in there. 39:23.873 --> 39:26.636 My friend Natasha managed to... Use boggles. 39:27.136 --> 39:27.717 Put boggins. 39:28.457 --> 39:30.078 Oh, that's a new name for boggins, is it? 39:30.118 --> 39:30.538 Boggles. 39:31.318 --> 39:36.440 He says, my friend Natasha managed to live into her mid-twenties, believing... And this is bizarre. 39:36.480 --> 39:37.621 I thought that was the end of the sentence. 39:37.661 --> 39:37.961 No, no. 39:38.461 --> 39:40.542 She managed to live into her mid-twenties. 39:41.122 --> 39:42.502 What kind of misconception is that? 39:42.702 --> 39:44.783 You're not supposed to make it to your mid-twenties, you moron. 39:46.584 --> 39:56.928 She lived into her mid-twenties believing that when people talked about there being six billion people in the world, it meant we were all living inside the world. 39:57.868 --> 40:04.712 Okay, this is hard to actually conceive, but she believed that we were living in a kind of inner kingdom. 40:04.972 --> 40:05.312 Right. 40:05.792 --> 40:12.435 And she said it came up, he says it came up in a conversation with her boyfriend when she asked how it was that we could see the moon. 40:13.576 --> 40:15.498 best bit, she's a travel agent. 40:15.638 --> 40:16.459 I kid you not. 40:16.839 --> 40:19.262 I mean, what kind of a travel agent is she? 40:19.442 --> 40:20.643 That's quite sensational. 40:20.763 --> 40:38.440 Yeah, you'll be travelling to a magical island in a big metal bird, a sausage bird that flies in the sky just beneath the outer layers of the inside world where we live. 40:39.200 --> 40:41.221 Wow, it's like a sort of real-life Truman Show. 40:42.421 --> 40:43.541 Can you believe it though? 40:43.621 --> 40:45.222 Into her mid-twenties. 40:45.462 --> 40:47.162 Yeah, there's six billion people in the world. 40:47.582 --> 40:49.003 Inside the world. 40:49.803 --> 40:50.823 Where they live. 40:51.423 --> 40:53.564 Well that's blown my other ones out of the water. 40:53.804 --> 40:55.164 Come on, let's have a more normal one. 40:55.504 --> 40:58.345 I used to go out with someone from Surrey, let's call him Nick. 40:58.925 --> 41:01.407 who liked to think that he was a bit posher than the rest of us. 41:01.687 --> 41:06.791 He was so keen on being posh that he used to pronounce the word pavement, pa-the-ment. 41:07.851 --> 41:09.593 So the first syllable rhymes with bathe. 41:09.933 --> 41:10.453 Pavement. 41:11.074 --> 41:11.534 That's posh. 41:11.554 --> 41:11.794 Pavement. 41:12.635 --> 41:13.435 My son does that. 41:13.856 --> 41:14.156 Does he? 41:14.276 --> 41:15.197 Yeah, it's nice. 41:15.377 --> 41:16.397 I've got one other one here. 41:16.417 --> 41:20.941 For most of my 32 years I thought that Barbara Streisand was called Barbara Streisland with an L. 41:21.901 --> 41:26.725 The truth only emerged after I suggested to my girlfriend that we got tickets to go and see her in concert last year. 41:26.745 --> 41:27.746 I couldn't believe it. 41:28.466 --> 41:31.569 I've got a couple of her albums and I could have sworn they said Striseland. 41:32.630 --> 41:33.570 Catherine in Deptford. 41:33.790 --> 41:35.312 Here's one from Jay. 41:35.332 --> 41:36.392 He says, bucks and corn. 41:37.193 --> 41:42.117 I only realised, with an S, about two years ago that I'd been misspelling February. 41:42.457 --> 41:43.018 I'm 28. 41:43.818 --> 41:50.904 One day, glancing through my diary, I noticed the correct spelling and pointed out to my girlfriend at the time that my diary had an error in it. 41:51.264 --> 41:54.947 I proclaimed how stupid it was of the printers to make such a glaring boob. 41:55.427 --> 41:58.970 She stated that I was the stupid one and asked how I spell February. 41:59.290 --> 42:03.033 For 26 years, I spelled it February without the R. 42:03.493 --> 42:04.334 I couldn't believe it! 42:04.514 --> 42:07.037 How can someone live 26 years without becoming aware of this? 42:07.397 --> 42:08.838 My life became a farce. 42:09.279 --> 42:12.182 Why hadn't my teachers, my friends and my family pointed this out? 42:12.602 --> 42:16.386 I'm no longer with my girlfriend, and I fear this may have been a contributing factor. 42:16.806 --> 42:18.668 Is there anyone else to blame apart from myself? 42:19.009 --> 42:21.851 What other fundamental aspects of everyday life have I misconstrued? 42:22.612 --> 42:23.413 Uh, yours, Jay. 42:23.673 --> 42:24.973 If that is my real name. 42:25.314 --> 42:25.934 In Manchester. 42:26.034 --> 42:26.394 P.S. 42:26.614 --> 42:27.855 Jay isn't my real name. 42:28.055 --> 42:28.795 It's James! 42:29.156 --> 42:31.197 What if Jay lives inside the world? 42:31.677 --> 42:36.740 What if actually a huge portion of the human race do live inside the world on a sort of... ...metsanine level? 42:36.800 --> 42:37.140 Yeah. 42:37.360 --> 42:41.262 I mean, if it turns out that Natasha's actually right about us, we have cordwellers. 42:41.282 --> 42:48.086 What if only members of the government and lizard people have access to a secret lift... ...that takes you down to... B-Planet? 42:48.286 --> 42:57.626 so basically what we're looking when we think when we look at the sky it is a painted ceiling yes it is like in part it's of the Caribbean exactly the ride in Disneyland 42:58.357 --> 43:02.099 Oh man, this is totally... He's stumbled onto a truth larger than any of us can deal with. 43:02.399 --> 43:03.479 Here's a free play for you now. 43:03.519 --> 43:07.041 Listen, this is Jonathan Richmond and he sounds a little bit like Claire Runacres in this. 43:07.521 --> 43:14.644 He's got a kind of very nasal delivery anyway and when he's singing this song it's even more so. 43:14.924 --> 43:26.169 And this is about a guy called Hippie Johnny and basically he's phoning up his girlfriend or this girl who he wants to go out with and he's saying, stop going out with that guy Hippie Johnny, he's always stoned. 43:26.269 --> 43:27.590 You should go out with me, I'm straight. 43:27.990 --> 43:30.393 and this song is called I'm Straight by Jonathan Richman. 43:49.193 --> 43:49.934 I mean, who hasn't? 43:50.134 --> 43:52.396 You know, we were talking about touching people just then. 43:52.556 --> 43:53.016 Touching? 43:53.777 --> 43:56.939 How I touched the lady in the sandwich shop and she overreacted. 43:56.959 --> 43:58.040 She probably fancied you. 43:58.200 --> 44:00.482 Do you remember there was an erotic atmosphere? 44:00.502 --> 44:01.403 It was a little sparkle. 44:01.443 --> 44:02.363 It was a meet-cute. 44:03.905 --> 44:05.526 Do you remember the touching game? 44:06.046 --> 44:06.547 Sure! 44:06.607 --> 44:07.507 That we used to play. 44:07.808 --> 44:13.712 Adam and I used to play a game called the touching game when we were punking off school or just when we... Just poncing around in pieces. 44:14.633 --> 44:15.474 What would that game go? 44:15.614 --> 44:16.515 Private study periods. 44:17.015 --> 44:22.220 It would go me and Zach and you and Louis would run out and we would have to go up to a stranger. 44:22.300 --> 44:25.363 This would usually be in Trafalgar Square, outside the National Gallery. 44:25.403 --> 44:26.444 I remember playing it a lot. 44:26.564 --> 44:27.204 A busy place. 44:27.304 --> 44:27.585 Yeah. 44:27.605 --> 44:28.786 A place busy with pedestrians. 44:28.806 --> 44:33.790 Like, whilst the rest of us were watching, you would have to go up and touch someone just on their body. 44:34.791 --> 44:36.673 and either not be busted. 44:36.713 --> 44:41.058 I mean, the thing was that... You can walk along behind them and rest your hand lightly on the back of their jacket. 44:41.078 --> 44:41.578 Right, exactly. 44:42.099 --> 44:42.980 As they walk along. 44:43.320 --> 44:45.943 And didn't you get points depending on what reaction you got? 44:46.003 --> 44:56.714 Yeah, if you could hold... If you could touch them and not be noticed at all, like get several metres along the street without being noticed, then that was a score you'd run back towards your cluster of observing friends. 44:56.934 --> 44:57.154 Yes. 44:57.314 --> 44:59.516 But you'd get more points if you got busted, wouldn't you? 44:59.556 --> 44:59.916 Would you? 45:00.037 --> 45:04.040 Yeah, because that would... Depending on how sort of vociferous the response was. 45:04.060 --> 45:05.381 Yeah, that was more derelicious. 45:05.941 --> 45:09.564 If someone turns round, if you go up and lay your hand on their butyls... Derely. 45:10.425 --> 45:12.707 And they spin round and go, what the heckins? 45:13.167 --> 45:17.931 Then you get more points for that, surely, than an unrecognised bottom touch. 45:18.411 --> 45:18.791 Yeah. 45:18.811 --> 45:19.772 It's a good game. 45:20.072 --> 45:20.613 It is a good game. 45:20.633 --> 45:21.714 You can get in trouble, though, playing. 45:21.734 --> 45:22.534 You have to be careful. 45:22.735 --> 45:23.916 You should be very careful. 45:23.996 --> 45:30.881 I only mention it because a listener called Ruth texted in saying, I have a friend who's been testing how long he can touch strangers for. 45:31.362 --> 45:35.725 He and his friends compete with best non-sexual body parts to touch. 45:35.805 --> 45:36.165 Yeah. 45:36.446 --> 45:42.110 He put his hand on the waist of the Covent Garden Marks and Spencer security guard for ages once. 45:43.251 --> 45:46.133 But no rebuff, just a confused security guard. 45:47.114 --> 45:47.654 It is fun. 45:47.714 --> 45:50.895 I mean, a little bit of confusing touching can be a fun thing. 45:51.675 --> 45:55.736 Well, I think we should really bring it back because I don't think this is a direction the world should go in. 45:55.897 --> 46:08.240 Well, do you ever find that, I mean, you and I are certainly in the scale of celebrity pretty minor, but I think sometimes if people recognize you, they feel more inclined to touch you. 46:08.260 --> 46:08.880 Do you ever get that? 46:08.920 --> 46:11.561 Like people sort of reach out and... Not really. 46:11.681 --> 46:31.846 Well sometimes when I'm doing gigs and stuff I guess after people have had a few drinks people come over and like last night I was out and this guy he was a friend like he'd been introduced to me by a friend and he was a little bit tooty but at one point he reaches across and he starts tugging at my beard going nice beard and he was like tugging at my beard and then and then he sort of 46:32.446 --> 46:34.867 pinched my nose and stuff, I really wanted to hit the gun. 46:34.887 --> 46:38.548 He wants, he's after a DNA sample, so he can clone some little bucculings. 46:38.648 --> 46:39.088 Yeah. 46:39.568 --> 46:41.149 Get them on rival radio stations. 46:41.589 --> 46:42.409 Buckolick Park. 46:44.170 --> 46:45.490 I really wanted to smack him. 46:45.670 --> 46:47.050 He's the new Richard Attenborough. 46:47.210 --> 46:48.411 Shall we have some made up jokes? 46:49.011 --> 46:49.792 Here's the jingle! 47:09.585 --> 47:11.646 We're going to blaze through these listeners. 47:11.726 --> 47:19.051 Here's one from Ben in Greenwich, and he says, what do you call a female pop star who's able to detect ionizing radiation? 47:19.071 --> 47:22.874 Oh, probably something to do with, oh yeah, no, I can guess this one. 47:23.254 --> 47:23.894 Lady Geiger. 47:24.095 --> 47:24.335 Yeah. 47:25.481 --> 47:27.702 Did you see her in her giant bath? 47:27.942 --> 47:28.142 No. 47:28.542 --> 47:30.663 On the telly programme, The X Factor? 47:30.923 --> 47:31.503 No. 47:31.543 --> 47:32.464 She'd done a performance. 47:32.484 --> 47:34.304 I only saw it on the repeat last night. 47:34.424 --> 47:34.644 Yeah. 47:35.045 --> 47:35.845 She'd done a performance. 47:35.865 --> 47:36.525 What was in the bath? 47:37.045 --> 47:38.206 Men, dancing men. 47:39.346 --> 47:43.768 She finished her song in a very, you know, she does very sort of edgy, angular dancing. 47:43.928 --> 47:44.348 She does. 47:44.648 --> 47:45.628 So did her dancers. 47:45.668 --> 47:47.109 Very sexy, very provocative. 47:47.489 --> 47:51.031 They finish their dance all lounged all over the bath, all in weird positions. 47:51.472 --> 47:54.874 And she's in a weird position on her back with her head hanging over the edge of the bath. 47:55.274 --> 47:57.296 Dermot has to come over and interview her. 47:57.916 --> 48:02.859 And it was funny because the dancers didn't really know what to do, whether to relax or whether to hold their poses. 48:02.879 --> 48:03.120 Yeah. 48:03.360 --> 48:04.540 So they held their poses. 48:04.560 --> 48:04.961 Good job. 48:05.121 --> 48:07.643 You could see that they were really... Were they sort of quivering? 48:07.703 --> 48:09.464 Yeah, they were under a certain amount of strain. 48:09.884 --> 48:13.006 And then Lady Geiger counter didn't know what to do herself. 48:13.747 --> 48:15.768 So she was just kind of weird and awkward. 48:15.788 --> 48:16.969 Did she say anything outrageous? 48:17.929 --> 48:18.910 I'm in the bath! 48:19.270 --> 48:22.993 Dermot said, what's your advice for our contestants and viewers? 48:23.653 --> 48:30.138 She said, be yourself and don't ever let anybody tell you that you can't fulfill your dreams. 48:31.178 --> 48:33.080 Which is good, I thought that's good advice. 48:33.120 --> 48:34.701 Of course, that's the standard. 48:34.821 --> 48:37.202 What would you do if I told you you couldn't fulfill your dreams? 48:37.783 --> 48:41.165 I'd be upset and I'd stop trying to fulfill my dreams. 48:42.526 --> 48:43.727 Well, do you want to listen to Lady Guy? 48:43.787 --> 48:45.368 I shouldn't let anyone tell me that. 48:45.388 --> 48:46.929 Here's a joke from Max in Aberdeen. 48:46.969 --> 48:48.911 Did you hear about the albino smoothie? 48:49.751 --> 48:51.152 It didn't have enough melanin. 48:53.994 --> 48:54.434 Come on. 48:54.495 --> 48:59.258 Incidentally, if you've never heard this show before, these are jokes that people have sent in that they have made up themselves. 48:59.278 --> 49:02.640 They're claiming they've authored them, and I've done some testing on my ones. 49:03.481 --> 49:07.003 Well, Lady Guy... I'm not even going to go into whether Lady Guy... At least it's Contempo. 49:07.184 --> 49:07.624 Exactly. 49:08.165 --> 49:12.352 He's one from Mark Livingston, and I'm sure some variation of this has been done before. 49:23.803 --> 49:27.165 He says it works with other philosophers too, as long as the second one is always candy. 49:27.245 --> 49:28.586 I bet that's a golden oldie. 49:28.646 --> 49:31.868 Yeah, it's like, what's the difference between Robbie Burns and Walt Disney? 49:32.368 --> 49:32.608 Yeah. 49:32.768 --> 49:34.249 Robbie Burns and Walt Disney! 49:34.969 --> 49:35.950 Ah, very good. 49:35.970 --> 49:37.571 That is a good one. 49:37.771 --> 49:38.411 Come on. 49:39.392 --> 49:40.853 Dan Fowler from St. 49:40.953 --> 49:44.155 Albans offers this joke as his own creation. 49:44.295 --> 49:45.075 Do you believe him? 49:45.476 --> 49:46.416 Have you heard it before? 49:46.776 --> 49:49.098 Did you hear about the man with a lisp and a limp? 49:49.978 --> 49:51.339 He kept walking in Tharkelf. 49:54.121 --> 49:56.662 Come on, that's a cracker joke, that one, practically. 49:56.682 --> 49:57.743 Those are the only two I've got. 49:58.003 --> 50:00.925 Every other joke that I tested did not pass the Cornish Google test. 50:02.101 --> 50:05.005 I wonder if this one would pass the Google test. 50:05.345 --> 50:06.767 This is from Liam Cooper in Oxford. 50:07.227 --> 50:11.492 Did you hear about the king who used to shout obscenities from the battlements of his castle? 50:11.612 --> 50:12.112 Yeah, I did. 50:12.513 --> 50:13.834 He had turrets syndrome. 50:14.615 --> 50:15.036 Nice. 50:15.316 --> 50:16.337 He had turrets. 50:19.360 --> 50:20.321 Here's some music for you right now. 50:20.341 --> 50:21.983 This is Yea Sayer with Ambling Alp. 50:22.243 --> 50:22.644 Thank God. 50:25.976 --> 50:29.218 Wow, it's the new wibbly-wobbly sound of contemporary music. 50:29.258 --> 50:33.500 That's Yaysayer, which is more positive than Naysayer. 50:33.600 --> 50:35.661 They may be related to Leosayer. 50:36.142 --> 50:36.742 We're not sure. 50:36.762 --> 50:39.723 They're an experimental band based in Brooklyn, New York. 50:40.744 --> 50:42.525 Is their experiment successful? 50:42.645 --> 50:47.187 Well, Jimmy the Hoover must be getting a bit annoyed about that, because they've just totally ripped all Jimmy the Hoover's. 50:47.247 --> 50:51.449 Live performances sometimes include trippy psychedelic visuals projected in the background. 50:51.629 --> 50:51.890 Whoa. 50:54.178 --> 50:55.139 They've got all the new tricks. 50:55.259 --> 50:57.020 They've got all the big ideas. 50:57.040 --> 50:57.981 They're probably really good. 50:58.021 --> 51:00.362 They toured with management during the spring of 2008. 51:00.422 --> 51:03.665 They've also played the Hove Festival. 51:04.445 --> 51:05.326 That's a good festival. 51:05.876 --> 51:10.358 So they're the latest thing and if you don't like them then you're old and rotten and you're frightened of the new. 51:10.558 --> 51:11.519 Get with it Grandad! 51:12.619 --> 51:14.240 So Joe, you've got a free play for us right now. 51:14.260 --> 51:14.520 I do, yeah. 51:14.540 --> 51:19.282 This is a band called Outcast and Word Magazine did their... Is that the right one? 51:19.302 --> 51:20.463 That's what we're playing next, isn't it? 51:20.503 --> 51:20.703 Yeah. 51:21.183 --> 51:23.104 Word Magazine did their albums of the decade. 51:23.344 --> 51:23.604 Oh yes. 51:23.845 --> 51:24.525 Did you see that? 51:24.585 --> 51:25.485 And this to them was... 51:26.906 --> 51:44.180 kind of that hip-hop album of the decade reckon they were reckoning it was it's massively influential on uh you know can you west's new direction and and the sound of urban music which one did they go for speaker box and the love speaker box right yeah yeah they reckon it's a classic and i kind of agree with them and this is one of my favorite tracks off it this is called prototype 51:44.580 --> 51:50.206 Frank Black there with Everything Is New from his album Show Me Your Tears from way back in 2003. 51:50.627 --> 51:53.730 Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music. 51:54.131 --> 52:05.903 Now, back in the summer when we were at Glastonbury and we came out of the song Radio Radio by Elvis Costello, we couldn't have known that our pathetic rambles about 52:07.223 --> 52:12.844 What kind of songs would be guaranteed to be played on the radio would spur... I'm really in trouble here, man. 52:12.885 --> 52:13.925 I'm putting on a jumper. 52:13.965 --> 52:14.825 You're putting on a jumper. 52:14.845 --> 52:16.105 I don't know how to get it around my headphones. 52:16.125 --> 52:17.626 You haven't taken your headphones off. 52:18.246 --> 52:18.846 I'm just talking rubbish. 52:18.866 --> 52:19.946 A lot of distracting things happening. 52:20.046 --> 52:25.688 We were basically just speculating about what kind of song would be guaranteed to be played on the radio, right? 52:26.148 --> 52:35.030 So we just improvised these stupid little rambles and people, we put them on our blog and people have been putting them to music in variously creative ways. 52:35.410 --> 52:37.371 Yeah, the listeners instigated this, didn't they? 52:37.831 --> 52:55.220 We just happened to sing stupidly and then some brilliant and kind person made the decision to put the random singing to music and it snowballed into a kind of experimental sidebar in the show where you take our sort of out of tune atonal, structureless singing and give tone and structure to it. 52:55.800 --> 52:55.980 way. 52:56.000 --> 53:03.684 So it's a sort of way for people to demonstrate their extraordinary musical and production skills with a piece of absolute sort of rubbish to base it on. 53:03.784 --> 53:04.405 Toilet rubbish. 53:04.465 --> 53:08.727 Here's something that John Ramone from Epsom Ramone sent in. 53:09.087 --> 53:15.011 He says, Dear Adam and Jo, on a recent family outing to our loft, I was delighted to find our old record player. 53:15.491 --> 53:20.354 On It was a long player of the Ramones, recorded live in New York City, New Year's Eve 1979. 53:20.494 --> 53:21.234 After we pogoed around, 53:23.415 --> 53:26.078 The long forgotten toys and dad's old magazines. 53:26.638 --> 53:28.379 We relaxed with a lovely bag of glue. 53:28.680 --> 53:31.782 Four hours later we were amazed to find a hidden... I'm sure that's not true. 53:32.102 --> 53:38.488 To find a hidden bonus track recorded by the little-known and very underrated younger Ramon brother, Adam Ramon. 53:38.768 --> 53:39.729 Hope you enjoy it. 53:39.829 --> 53:40.229 Here it is. 53:40.249 --> 53:45.854 One, two, three, four! 53:48.882 --> 54:06.427 Hey ho, come on let's go Hey ho, come on let's go Hey ho, come on let's go This song is playing the radio Hey ho, come on let's go Listen to the song on the radio This is the song that's playing right now Thank you very much, good night 54:08.468 --> 54:09.748 I love Joey Ramone at the end there. 54:09.808 --> 54:10.869 Thank you very much. 54:10.889 --> 54:12.209 That's perfect. 54:12.249 --> 54:13.870 Thank you very much, John from Epsom. 54:14.090 --> 54:17.811 This is going to make very little sense if you haven't heard the original samples. 54:17.891 --> 54:19.472 Maybe we should have played those as well. 54:19.712 --> 54:21.953 Are we able to play the clean samples, James? 54:22.013 --> 54:22.833 No, no. 54:22.853 --> 54:23.994 But you can remember what you say. 54:24.094 --> 54:27.635 I mean, I can remember, but I'm just thinking about listeners that don't know the backstories. 54:27.655 --> 54:28.776 You can paraphrase it, though. 54:29.316 --> 54:41.602 We were making the point that if you sing a song that lyrically is about being on the radio, you'll get on the radio faster. 54:41.983 --> 54:47.465 So I sung a random thing as well, and we got an amazing version of it by Nigel Hill. 54:47.986 --> 54:49.366 He says, I really hope you like this. 54:49.406 --> 54:55.089 I've incorporated both of your singy bits onto a musicy bit that sounds a little like the Blankety Blank theme tune. 54:55.469 --> 54:58.551 I think it's better than the Blankety Blank theme tune, which is high praise. 54:59.171 --> 55:06.559 After a couple of hours fiddling with your rather untidy but marvellous vocals, and then more hours fitting the music around it, I've come up with this little tune. 55:06.940 --> 55:07.901 I hope it's not too long. 55:08.121 --> 55:09.462 It's not long enough, Nigel. 55:09.522 --> 55:09.903 Here it is. 55:34.843 --> 55:47.414 This song is playing on the radio Hey ho, come on let's go Listen to the song on the radio This is the song that is playing right now 56:01.738 --> 56:04.319 I like the fact that your bits are all beaten perky in my bits. 56:04.339 --> 56:05.640 I like it when your bit comes in. 56:05.720 --> 56:08.701 It sounds so depressed and psychotic. 56:09.381 --> 56:13.263 But yeah, it's strangely chirpy. 56:13.443 --> 56:14.624 That's good, Nigel. 56:14.704 --> 56:15.924 I think that's really very good. 56:15.964 --> 56:24.408 If I was, for instance, the head of ITV, where almost all programs have a theme tune that sounds like that, I'd make that my new key theme tune. 56:24.888 --> 56:28.570 You know, like, the Grange Hill tune seemed to be sufficient for Give Us a Clue and Grange Hill. 56:28.610 --> 56:29.830 It was on various different programs. 56:29.910 --> 56:30.651 I'd do that with that. 56:30.811 --> 56:31.311 Yeah, definitely. 56:31.511 --> 56:33.492 I'd use Nigel's composition for almost everything. 56:33.572 --> 56:34.252 Repurpose it. 56:34.493 --> 56:35.493 Here's one final one. 56:35.533 --> 56:38.034 This is coming from a completely different place. 56:38.995 --> 56:40.976 Let's just fire this off, James. 56:47.839 --> 56:49.080 Here's a bit of art music. 56:51.521 --> 56:53.162 Right, it's a kind of ambient composition. 56:58.914 --> 57:00.155 Some synths coming in here. 57:00.715 --> 57:02.836 This is from someone called— Stop talking over it. 57:03.237 --> 57:03.677 I'm sorry. 57:07.399 --> 57:08.580 Start talking over it again. 57:10.942 --> 57:15.304 This is from someone called Conal Rad, C-O-N-E-L-R-A-D. 57:15.504 --> 57:19.847 He says, I'm a part-time electronic musician working under the name Conal Rad. 57:19.887 --> 57:23.109 Tom Robinson has played me a few times on six music. 57:23.129 --> 57:24.330 That was nice of him, he says. 57:24.870 --> 57:27.552 and I wanted to see what I could do with your radio songs. 57:27.652 --> 57:29.533 I wanted to do something a bit different though. 57:29.914 --> 57:35.517 Obviously the premise of the things is that any song that mentions the radio will automatically get played on the radio. 57:35.557 --> 57:41.841 So instead of turning the sample into a hot sexy chart hit with cardboardy reason beats and so on... Like Nigel did. 57:42.042 --> 57:42.262 Right. 57:42.822 --> 57:44.944 I thought I'd see how far I could push the idea. 57:45.244 --> 57:54.110 I took Adam's unintentionally or rather intentionally deadpan monotone voice and made use of its soporific qualities, looping it alongside some evil decayed synths. 57:54.951 --> 57:59.264 and turning it into a long, loping, ambient thing that nobody in their right minds would ever play on the radio. 58:01.038 --> 58:02.159 And there it is ending there. 58:02.599 --> 58:03.120 There it is. 58:03.160 --> 58:05.501 Well, I mean, we did play it on the radio. 58:05.581 --> 58:07.043 I mean, we spoiled it by talking over it. 58:07.063 --> 58:08.223 But thank you very much for that. 58:08.243 --> 58:10.105 The current already says PS Killboggins. 58:10.285 --> 58:12.226 Yeah, thank you everybody who's done that. 58:12.246 --> 58:21.694 And if you go to our blog, which is available to view at bbc.co.uk forward slash blogs forward slash Adam and Joe, you can get those original music free bits of rubbish vocal. 58:21.974 --> 58:24.336 And also you can hear what some other people have done with them. 58:24.736 --> 58:28.659 And maybe you think you can blow those efforts out of the water with your own amazing interpretation. 58:29.159 --> 58:30.701 I don't know why you would do it. 58:31.202 --> 58:32.163 We're not really sure. 58:32.543 --> 58:34.746 Well, we know why we're playing them, because they're funny and good. 58:34.766 --> 58:36.328 Don't start asking why about things. 58:36.368 --> 58:40.994 I mean, if we start questioning why we're here and what we're doing, it's all going to crumble. 58:41.014 --> 58:41.975 What are we doing? 58:41.995 --> 58:42.736 No, no, no, no. 58:42.896 --> 58:43.397 Why? 58:43.517 --> 58:45.539 It's Toots and the Matals with Time Tough. 58:45.559 --> 58:46.020 That's why. 58:46.040 --> 58:48.463 Toots and the Matals there with Time Tough. 58:50.014 --> 58:51.834 What's happening next, then, on this programme, Adam? 58:52.415 --> 58:54.315 I wanted to talk to you about hotels. 58:54.995 --> 58:55.195 Oh. 58:55.355 --> 58:56.276 Do you like staying here? 58:56.316 --> 58:57.836 You stay in quite a few hotels, right? 58:57.856 --> 58:58.696 Yeah, I stay in a lot of hotels. 58:58.716 --> 58:59.176 We travel a great deal. 58:59.196 --> 59:00.317 I'm like George Clooney and up in the air. 59:00.337 --> 59:01.917 I'm like George Clooney and up in the air. 59:02.297 --> 59:02.817 Exactly. 59:03.017 --> 59:03.737 You seen that film yet? 59:03.897 --> 59:04.097 Yeah. 59:04.117 --> 59:04.918 Is that enjoyable? 59:04.938 --> 59:06.498 Yeah, it is. 59:06.818 --> 59:07.478 You having Clooney? 59:08.018 --> 59:08.679 Yeah, I liked it. 59:08.919 --> 59:09.759 Like Pro Clooney? 59:10.099 --> 59:10.299 Yeah. 59:10.319 --> 59:11.119 Did you really like it? 59:11.139 --> 59:12.019 You're not just saying it would be nice. 59:12.039 --> 59:12.520 Well, do you really...? 59:12.540 --> 59:14.040 Because you know him or something. 59:14.800 --> 59:15.021 No. 59:15.041 --> 59:18.184 I know people don't know. 59:18.384 --> 59:18.785 Do you? 59:18.825 --> 59:19.125 Do you? 59:19.165 --> 59:20.287 Very nice chap, apparently. 59:20.307 --> 59:20.927 Very nice guy. 59:21.007 --> 59:23.090 Anyway, the fact is you like staying in hotels, right? 59:23.130 --> 59:24.832 Do you actually like staying in them or do you dread it? 59:25.052 --> 59:25.613 No, I like it. 59:25.653 --> 59:26.614 If it's a nice one, I like it. 59:26.634 --> 59:28.035 If it's a nasty one, I dread it. 59:28.075 --> 59:28.816 Sure, simple as that. 59:29.797 --> 59:30.698 I really like it. 59:30.758 --> 59:40.863 It's, you know, not part of my normal routine, doesn't happen very often, but I was in London this week staying in a very nice hotel as part of a work thing, and it was really fun. 59:41.483 --> 59:52.309 But I'd forgotten about all the, like, how expensive everything is, obviously, and this is an obvious point to make, but I still don't get the mentality of hotels charging so much. 59:52.329 --> 59:54.470 You know, they have like a little basket of sweets and stuff. 59:54.930 --> 59:59.673 in the corner of the room, and you're just about to tuck into a little bag of teasers or whatever it is. 01:00:00.254 --> 01:00:02.375 Nice little bit of Toblerone or some chocky bar. 01:00:02.875 --> 01:00:02.375 350. 01:00:02.915 --> 01:00:03.236 Four. 01:00:03.876 --> 01:00:04.877 Four for what? 01:00:04.917 --> 01:00:05.917 Four pounds. 01:00:05.957 --> 01:00:06.338 For what? 01:00:06.438 --> 01:00:10.801 For the standard small sized Tobler triangle bar. 01:00:10.841 --> 01:00:11.161 No. 01:00:11.341 --> 01:00:12.602 Four pounds! 01:00:12.742 --> 01:00:15.764 And that is a 300% mark-up. 01:00:16.204 --> 01:00:17.045 How much would it cost you? 01:00:17.085 --> 01:00:17.645 A pound? 01:00:17.705 --> 01:00:19.266 No, less than a pound. 01:00:19.546 --> 01:00:20.167 65 P max. 01:00:20.187 --> 01:00:21.328 That's astronomical. 01:00:21.348 --> 01:00:21.708 Four pounds! 01:00:22.368 --> 01:00:22.829 You're right. 01:00:22.889 --> 01:00:23.649 It's ridiculous. 01:00:23.710 --> 01:00:24.070 Isn't it? 01:00:24.330 --> 01:00:45.449 I was just about a bite the top off that mother and have myself a nice little bit of Chocolate-covered nougat in a triangular form they charge for internet access because that's the most shocking thing I mean that's entirely free for them and yet they can sometimes charge you up to like on this occasion No, and it was nice and fast the broads and oh speedy did they charge for a bathrobe and 01:00:46.707 --> 01:00:55.976 You know, I don't even touch those things now, because you go into the bathroom and there's all the notices about, you can use your towel if you want to, but you'll be killing the planet. 01:00:56.216 --> 01:00:57.197 How does that feel? 01:00:57.598 --> 01:00:59.159 You know, it costs us a lot of money. 01:00:59.239 --> 01:01:05.826 Basically, they're just trying to save a bit of money on laundry, but they put it on you that you're killing the planet by making them do laundry. 01:01:06.479 --> 01:01:08.561 You're like, well, you know, are you gonna give me a towel or not? 01:01:08.581 --> 01:01:09.122 Was that water? 01:01:09.783 --> 01:01:10.744 There was a little bit of water. 01:01:10.804 --> 01:01:11.344 Free water? 01:01:11.364 --> 01:01:12.445 Free water, yeah. 01:01:12.485 --> 01:01:13.647 There was free bottled water. 01:01:13.727 --> 01:01:15.429 Oh yeah, free, I thought you meant coming out of the tap. 01:01:15.449 --> 01:01:16.770 That's no bottled water. 01:01:16.850 --> 01:01:18.532 You didn't have to pay to get the tap turned on. 01:01:18.552 --> 01:01:19.994 Free water, double water. 01:01:20.274 --> 01:01:23.037 Some they don't, some they charge you for quick for the basic water. 01:01:23.297 --> 01:01:26.758 But in the end, I had to like, go through, because I was starving for a little snack. 01:01:26.778 --> 01:01:28.778 I had to go through and find the cheapest thing there. 01:01:28.818 --> 01:01:31.819 It was a pretty miserable chocolate chip cookie. 01:01:32.179 --> 01:01:35.640 Like even in a rubbish hotel, you go in and you get the teas made, right? 01:01:35.660 --> 01:01:37.040 And you get a couple of little bitches. 01:01:37.080 --> 01:01:38.280 Free boar bonds or whatever. 01:01:38.620 --> 01:01:40.280 Not in this flipping hotel you didn't. 01:01:41.001 --> 01:01:44.761 And I, and you know, the cheapest thing was a little chocolate chip cookie. 01:01:44.841 --> 01:01:47.202 Single cookie in a little pathetic wrapper. 01:01:47.802 --> 01:01:49.362 One fifty, one pound fifty. 01:01:49.642 --> 01:01:52.343 Obviously I could have gone down to a shop and I just couldn't be bothered though. 01:01:52.883 --> 01:01:53.904 So I had it, snuffled it. 01:01:54.384 --> 01:01:58.628 Do you think I declared it the next day when they asked if I had anything from the basket? 01:01:59.108 --> 01:02:00.509 Probably not, didn't declare it. 01:02:01.144 --> 01:02:02.524 I felt quite naughty about it. 01:02:02.804 --> 01:02:03.164 Yeah. 01:02:04.065 --> 01:02:06.285 Normally, I absolutely would declare everything. 01:02:06.805 --> 01:02:10.266 Like before, you know, I had a little orange juice from the mini, but I declared that. 01:02:10.346 --> 01:02:12.286 Do you leave a tip for the maid? 01:02:12.586 --> 01:02:14.527 You know, I was worrying about this. 01:02:14.927 --> 01:02:15.467 What do you do? 01:02:15.747 --> 01:02:17.307 I'm so unused to going to a hotel. 01:02:17.327 --> 01:02:18.528 Are you supposed to? 01:02:18.688 --> 01:02:20.548 Well, they sometimes leave a little envelope. 01:02:20.848 --> 01:02:22.528 A little envelope for one night, though? 01:02:22.568 --> 01:02:24.269 Yeah, saying my name's Conchita. 01:02:25.209 --> 01:02:26.169 Oh, they leave an envelope. 01:02:26.189 --> 01:02:29.551 I thought you meant you leave an envelope saying, Hi, my name's Conchita. 01:02:30.651 --> 01:02:31.812 No, obviously I do that. 01:02:31.872 --> 01:02:33.072 Yeah, because my name is Conchita. 01:02:33.132 --> 01:02:37.994 Oh, if they leave an envelope, sure, if there's an overture to a tip, then I'll usually oblige. 01:02:38.774 --> 01:02:43.156 But if it's just up to you, I mean, do you like once you've paid your bill and signed your check, do you leave a tip? 01:02:44.677 --> 01:02:45.198 Uh, no. 01:02:45.218 --> 01:02:47.100 No, no, no. 01:02:47.140 --> 01:02:47.701 Why would you? 01:02:47.901 --> 01:02:48.442 Well, I don't know. 01:02:48.462 --> 01:02:50.584 They've already sucked all the money out of your wallet. 01:02:50.704 --> 01:02:51.786 It's such a movable feast. 01:02:51.926 --> 01:02:53.388 Have you ever tried to fiddle the mini bar? 01:02:54.789 --> 01:02:56.752 Uh, what, like top up the whiskey with some tea? 01:02:56.772 --> 01:03:00.096 I think some topping up or replace it with a cheaper version or something. 01:03:00.456 --> 01:03:04.341 Sometimes I put my own things in the mini bar, and they don't like that. 01:03:05.343 --> 01:03:11.511 You know, I put my own orange juice in there, and some bickies in there, and then when you come back and the room's been done, they've taken them out. 01:03:11.651 --> 01:03:14.034 Oh, that's annoying though, as they do that. 01:03:14.134 --> 01:03:15.916 While you're there, you're paying for the fridge. 01:03:15.956 --> 01:03:16.978 It's your personal fridge. 01:03:17.338 --> 01:03:20.099 You could store blood samples in there if you wanted. 01:03:20.399 --> 01:03:20.759 Could I? 01:03:20.879 --> 01:03:21.319 Yes. 01:03:21.840 --> 01:03:22.400 Thanks. 01:03:22.440 --> 01:03:23.700 They shouldn't tamper with those things. 01:03:24.020 --> 01:03:37.405 When we were on our honeymoon, me and my wife stayed in this hotel in Las Vegas, and they had those things with the pressure pads on the mini bar, and we went through this whole Indiana Jones-type thing of trying to... What do you mean pressure pads on the mini bar? 01:03:37.425 --> 01:03:44.167 Well, each item sits on a pad, so if you remove it, it's immediately logged onto your bill. 01:03:44.487 --> 01:03:46.288 So by touching it, you have to pay for it? 01:03:46.328 --> 01:03:48.870 As soon as you remove it, it goes on your bill. 01:03:49.150 --> 01:03:54.194 So we were trying to do this thing with similarly weighted objects and trying to slide them in. 01:03:54.214 --> 01:03:56.496 Did it work? 01:03:56.776 --> 01:03:56.896 No. 01:03:57.337 --> 01:03:58.258 That's exciting. 01:03:58.398 --> 01:03:59.198 It was exciting. 01:03:59.639 --> 01:04:00.639 It felt like we were in a film. 01:04:01.520 --> 01:04:02.041 Good stuff! 01:04:02.061 --> 01:04:04.202 Time for a record? 01:04:04.342 --> 01:04:04.803 Yeah, yeah. 01:04:04.923 --> 01:04:08.365 Here's Julian Casablancas with I Wish It Was Christmas Today. 01:04:08.385 --> 01:04:09.106 Yeah. 01:04:10.527 --> 01:04:15.071 You know, the other thing with hotels is, in my opinion, they always give you the worst room. 01:04:15.971 --> 01:04:16.251 Right. 01:04:16.792 --> 01:04:17.572 Just by default. 01:04:17.953 --> 01:04:19.934 So you should always say, can I see the room? 01:04:20.695 --> 01:04:21.996 And then say, is there a better one? 01:04:22.356 --> 01:04:22.776 Really? 01:04:22.856 --> 01:04:25.518 Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's a little trade secret from Cornballs. 01:04:26.078 --> 01:04:26.799 Doctor Handel? 01:04:26.819 --> 01:04:29.360 Yeah, and just push with the room and there'll always be a better one. 01:04:29.760 --> 01:04:33.842 They always just put non-fussy customers in the noisiest room with the worst view. 01:04:33.862 --> 01:04:35.103 Yeah, that's what they do to me. 01:04:35.263 --> 01:04:38.765 Yeah, and then they just wait for the fussy ones and give them, so be fussy. 01:04:38.885 --> 01:04:39.285 That's my thing. 01:04:39.305 --> 01:04:39.966 Jimmy Fusspot. 01:04:40.326 --> 01:04:46.329 Every time that I've tried to be Jimmy Fusspot, it's got thrown right back in my face with a little dollop of poo poo. 01:04:46.630 --> 01:04:46.970 Really? 01:04:47.030 --> 01:04:47.350 Yeah. 01:04:47.810 --> 01:04:48.651 Well, yeah. 01:04:48.871 --> 01:04:50.592 Because they think, because I don't think... 01:04:51.292 --> 01:04:56.734 They can see right through me, they think, oh, this guy has talked to someone who said, oh, you know, you should always make a fuss and you'll get a better room. 01:04:57.055 --> 01:04:59.496 Well, I'm going to throw it right back in his little hairy face. 01:05:00.096 --> 01:05:01.276 Deal with that, Jimmy Fuspot. 01:05:01.557 --> 01:05:02.997 No, that's the only room we have available. 01:05:03.457 --> 01:05:04.138 OK, thank you. 01:05:04.698 --> 01:05:06.239 That's usually what I do as well. 01:05:06.699 --> 01:05:08.139 But sometimes it comes through. 01:05:08.660 --> 01:05:10.861 Anyway, listen, it's time for this week's Text the Nation. 01:05:10.881 --> 01:05:17.524 And if you're worried that this is happening a little bit late in the show, don't forget that really it's just a setup for next week's Retro Text the Nation. 01:05:17.564 --> 01:05:17.824 Yeah. 01:05:18.244 --> 01:05:19.564 It's all about the retro nowadays. 01:05:19.584 --> 01:05:20.465 Let's have the jingle jangle. 01:05:22.759 --> 01:05:23.541 Text the nation! 01:05:23.621 --> 01:05:24.703 Text, text, text! 01:05:24.803 --> 01:05:25.525 Text the nation! 01:05:25.605 --> 01:05:26.587 What if I don't want to? 01:05:26.828 --> 01:05:27.549 Text the nation! 01:05:27.629 --> 01:05:28.671 But I'm using email. 01:05:28.832 --> 01:05:29.553 Is that a problem? 01:05:29.573 --> 01:05:30.415 It doesn't matter, text! 01:05:33.055 --> 01:05:37.157 And Text the Nation this week, listeners, is all about homemade Christmas gifts. 01:05:37.657 --> 01:05:42.859 What is the best or worst homemade Christmas gift you've ever given or received? 01:05:42.879 --> 01:05:44.940 Because next week's show is going to be quite Christmasy. 01:05:45.321 --> 01:05:48.222 It's our last show before Christmas, is that true, on the 19th? 01:05:48.742 --> 01:05:51.183 So we want a Christmas-themed Text the Nation, and this is it. 01:05:51.683 --> 01:05:56.926 Adam Buxton, what's the best or worst homemade Christmas gift you've ever given or received? 01:05:57.626 --> 01:05:57.946 Ask me. 01:05:58.087 --> 01:05:58.547 I've got one. 01:05:58.687 --> 01:05:59.648 They have some thinking. 01:05:59.708 --> 01:06:00.228 How about you? 01:06:00.248 --> 01:06:03.231 Yeah, who you I mean, you're quite good on your homemade stuff aren't you? 01:06:03.271 --> 01:06:04.952 You've got well, you've got a good buddy who does a lot. 01:06:04.972 --> 01:06:22.005 I got a good buddy who does a lot He did a brilliant series of portraits So he just bought some lovely gouache paints and some little canvas boards that you can get from art shops And he got some photographs of all his loved ones and he did some quite insane portraits outside 01:06:22.025 --> 01:06:25.828 Well, the best thing was he was obviously clearly trying to do his absolute best. 01:06:26.269 --> 01:06:29.772 There was nothing ironic or tongue-in-cheek about his approach. 01:06:29.812 --> 01:06:31.994 He really focused and tried to capture them. 01:06:32.314 --> 01:06:35.897 And inevitably, it turns out, quite wonky and self-expressive. 01:06:36.517 --> 01:06:40.821 But in a very truthful way, if you don't actually sort of premeditate the wonkiness. 01:06:41.061 --> 01:06:42.302 And we treasure that portrait. 01:06:43.183 --> 01:06:44.604 It's of me and my lady partner. 01:06:44.624 --> 01:06:45.724 I think I know the one. 01:06:45.884 --> 01:06:46.925 It is absolutely one collision. 01:06:46.945 --> 01:06:50.866 It's really off, but yet there's something more on about it than any more on. 01:06:50.886 --> 01:06:53.688 It's more on it than off it. 01:06:53.788 --> 01:06:54.048 Yeah. 01:06:54.248 --> 01:06:54.648 More on it. 01:06:54.788 --> 01:06:56.929 Anyway, it's lovely and we treasure it. 01:06:57.149 --> 01:06:57.969 Yeah, that's very good. 01:06:58.029 --> 01:06:59.270 That's a good exercise in general. 01:06:59.310 --> 01:07:06.453 If you go into something, trying your best and try to do something as well as you possibly can, if it turns out wonky, it's 01:07:06.613 --> 01:07:19.821 That's fine, it's honest wonkiness, but that's a good, it's an economical approach as well, because his outlay was the canvas boards and the paints, probably the amount of money you'd spend on one commercially produced gift, and he managed to cover the whole family. 01:07:19.841 --> 01:07:22.562 He had to put time into it, but then that's the most precious quantity of all. 01:07:22.642 --> 01:07:23.463 Well, this is the thing. 01:07:23.663 --> 01:07:33.889 A lot of people can't afford that precious commodity off time, and that's where they go out to the shops and just buy meerkats and all the other rubish that it's getting. 01:07:33.929 --> 01:07:35.610 Meerkats are the big present this year. 01:07:36.070 --> 01:07:37.211 They're the big present this year. 01:07:37.231 --> 01:07:37.591 A stuffed one. 01:07:37.611 --> 01:07:38.272 A little stuffed make. 01:07:38.352 --> 01:07:38.632 Really? 01:07:38.732 --> 01:07:40.373 Not a real, like, stuffed make. 01:07:40.393 --> 01:07:40.773 Why not? 01:07:41.073 --> 01:07:42.534 But a cuddly toy. 01:07:42.855 --> 01:07:44.376 Why, how do you know they're the big present? 01:07:44.476 --> 01:07:45.476 I saw it on the news. 01:07:45.717 --> 01:07:46.837 On the news. 01:07:47.037 --> 01:07:48.178 Why, you've down on the news now. 01:07:48.218 --> 01:07:49.139 No, I love the news. 01:07:49.439 --> 01:07:50.099 On the news. 01:07:50.179 --> 01:07:53.602 I'm excited that Fern Britton's interviewing Tony Blair about the Iraq war. 01:07:54.142 --> 01:07:54.482 Yes. 01:07:54.763 --> 01:07:55.203 That's time. 01:07:55.343 --> 01:07:56.564 She's going to ask the tough question. 01:07:57.164 --> 01:07:59.986 Isn't that one of the most depressing things you've heard for a while? 01:08:00.006 --> 01:08:02.508 Why don't they get June Sarpon to do it again? 01:08:03.428 --> 01:08:04.709 Anyway, let's stick to the subject. 01:08:06.410 --> 01:08:09.032 Can you remember receiving or giving anything really amazing? 01:08:09.172 --> 01:08:10.793 I don't get too many homemade presents. 01:08:10.873 --> 01:08:12.495 Do your kids buy you stuff? 01:08:12.515 --> 01:08:13.695 Do they not make you little things? 01:08:14.276 --> 01:08:15.797 I suppose it's different when you're a young child. 01:08:15.817 --> 01:08:18.058 I get drawings, and the drawings are amazing. 01:08:18.078 --> 01:08:19.199 I absolutely love them. 01:08:19.539 --> 01:08:25.243 My son Natty is quite an artist, and nothing hits the spot quite so much as a Natty drawing. 01:08:25.584 --> 01:08:26.184 It's amazing. 01:08:26.324 --> 01:08:27.425 Have you never given anything? 01:08:27.845 --> 01:08:28.305 homemade. 01:08:28.365 --> 01:08:30.466 Oh, I give lots of homemade things, yeah. 01:08:30.546 --> 01:08:33.547 But, well, I tend to do a lot of photo albums and stuff like that. 01:08:33.587 --> 01:08:33.827 Right. 01:08:35.308 --> 01:08:42.350 But not Tracy Island style, because the worry, especially with children, is that they're going to throw it right back in your face. 01:08:42.370 --> 01:08:44.711 You know, they want the store-bought stuff. 01:08:44.971 --> 01:08:48.152 They want it all shiny and new and plastic, and like everyone else has. 01:08:48.792 --> 01:08:54.134 If you start presenting them with a wooden hobby horse that you made in your shed, they're going to beat you to death with it. 01:08:54.734 --> 01:08:59.936 And even the Blue Peter stuff, like, I never understood why Tracy Island was such a massive sensation as it was. 01:09:00.396 --> 01:09:01.597 How long ago was that? 01:09:01.617 --> 01:09:02.297 20 years or something? 01:09:02.457 --> 01:09:02.717 Nah. 01:09:02.897 --> 01:09:08.339 And they were telling people how to make Tracy Island out of, like, from Thunderbirds out of cardboard. 01:09:08.359 --> 01:09:10.420 What kid would want a homemade Tracy Island? 01:09:10.460 --> 01:09:11.280 It sounds like madness. 01:09:12.061 --> 01:09:21.372 But, you know, we want to really catalogue your best ideas for homemade gifts that you've either given or received, because it could be very useful for our cash-strapped student listeners. 01:09:21.432 --> 01:09:21.772 Exactly. 01:09:22.133 --> 01:09:24.355 Or, you know, people who... Anyone in the financial crisis. 01:09:24.575 --> 01:09:25.076 Exactly. 01:09:25.977 --> 01:09:26.257 Say it. 01:09:26.758 --> 01:09:26.978 Right. 01:09:27.379 --> 01:09:27.539 What? 01:09:27.839 --> 01:09:32.682 Well, we are still in the grip of the credit crunch financial crisis, whatever you want to call it. 01:09:32.862 --> 01:09:35.323 So this is a very timely... So this is clever. 01:09:35.343 --> 01:09:36.184 This is very clever. 01:09:36.204 --> 01:09:37.104 This is really good. 01:09:37.164 --> 01:09:37.804 This is radio gold. 01:09:37.824 --> 01:09:39.165 I mean, this is like a proper radio program. 01:09:39.185 --> 01:09:40.406 This is exactly like a proper radio program. 01:09:40.426 --> 01:09:40.986 It's utilitarian. 01:09:41.026 --> 01:09:41.647 It's amusing. 01:09:41.687 --> 01:09:42.347 It's interesting. 01:09:42.367 --> 01:09:43.067 It's author. 01:09:43.167 --> 01:09:44.088 It's fun. 01:09:44.288 --> 01:09:45.809 Tell the people about the tunnel facts. 01:09:46.149 --> 01:09:47.070 The tunnel facts. 01:09:47.110 --> 01:09:53.193 We talked earlier on in retro-text the nation, how do you make a tunnel under the water? 01:09:53.653 --> 01:09:54.494 Liam Hudson. 01:09:54.634 --> 01:09:58.536 The channel tunnel is bored through rock some hundreds of feet below the bed of the channel itself. 01:09:59.036 --> 01:10:03.179 Tunnels that aren't bored through rock are often built on the surface then sunk down onto the bed of the river. 01:10:03.619 --> 01:10:06.001 Others are excavated just below the surface of the riverbed. 01:10:06.041 --> 01:10:08.582 These have to be maintained at high pressure whilst they're being dug. 01:10:09.323 --> 01:10:11.104 Yours, cathonically. 01:10:11.864 --> 01:10:12.184 Liam. 01:10:12.564 --> 01:10:14.325 Good radio show, you see. 01:10:15.065 --> 01:10:15.545 Interesting. 01:10:16.245 --> 01:10:18.306 I just realised this is a good radio show. 01:10:18.426 --> 01:10:18.966 Right, it is. 01:10:19.386 --> 01:10:21.066 Hey, here's a free play for you now, listeners. 01:10:21.826 --> 01:10:23.347 How are you with Captain Beefheart, Joe? 01:10:24.107 --> 01:10:26.167 I'm ashamed to say I'm a tiny bit indifferent. 01:10:26.467 --> 01:10:27.908 Well, this is a good place to start. 01:10:27.948 --> 01:10:29.028 Only true ignorance, though. 01:10:29.088 --> 01:10:30.869 This is an early Captain Beefheart album. 01:10:30.909 --> 01:10:37.030 He's an artist much beloved of many people that we admire and like, you know, very influential on people like The Mighty Boosh. 01:10:37.650 --> 01:10:41.712 I mean, he's been influential on millions of people, but this is from his album... The Mighty Boosh. 01:10:42.112 --> 01:10:42.652 Yeah. 01:10:42.892 --> 01:10:45.794 They're that comedy duo that turned on Stella Macaulay's Christmas lights. 01:10:45.854 --> 01:10:46.894 There you go, exactly. 01:10:48.035 --> 01:10:54.077 This is from the album Safest Milk by Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band, and it's delightful. 01:10:54.217 --> 01:10:55.198 This is Abba Zaba. 01:10:55.478 --> 01:10:55.919 Very nice. 01:10:55.939 --> 01:10:57.841 That's Belin Sebastian with Legal Man. 01:10:57.861 --> 01:11:00.024 A couple of corrections to make, listeners. 01:11:00.084 --> 01:11:08.075 I just insinuated that it was... I didn't really insinuate, I said... I said that it was Fern Britton interviewing Tony Blair. 01:11:08.475 --> 01:11:12.220 But it's, of course, the far more heavyweight, Fern Cotton. 01:11:12.941 --> 01:11:14.562 the proper political interviewer. 01:11:14.582 --> 01:11:14.843 Yeah? 01:11:15.123 --> 01:11:15.323 Yeah. 01:11:15.383 --> 01:11:27.593 On the day that Mr Blair attempts to justify his government's invasion of Iraq to the nation, the hard-nosed journalist Fern Cotton is sent in to drag him across the verbal cold. 01:11:27.653 --> 01:11:28.013 She'll do it. 01:11:28.033 --> 01:11:29.274 She'll give him the grilling of his life. 01:11:29.875 --> 01:11:38.722 And also I was mentioning the, I was sort of poo-pooing, doing a bit of poo-pooing to Tracy Island there and our listener Gillian Reynolds has reminded us that 01:11:40.023 --> 01:11:45.949 It was only on Blue Peter as a service to young fans, viewers, consumers, because you couldn't buy it in the shops. 01:11:45.989 --> 01:11:47.771 They had sold out, you see. 01:11:47.911 --> 01:11:49.132 Those were the days, she says. 01:11:49.172 --> 01:11:50.693 Thank you very much for those corrections. 01:11:51.394 --> 01:11:53.196 And it's 12.30 in time for the news. 01:11:53.516 --> 01:11:56.099 CCR there with Bad Moon rising. 01:11:56.119 --> 01:12:00.743 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music with a little fern. 01:12:02.665 --> 01:12:04.446 Little fun, tiny little cotton fun. 01:12:04.986 --> 01:12:12.191 I'm looking forward to seeing that interview, whether it's Britain or cotton, because I'm sure they're going to get some hard-nosed answers out of Tony B. Liar. 01:12:12.331 --> 01:12:14.152 Yeah, my opinion, not the opinion of the castle. 01:12:14.212 --> 01:12:15.372 Not really, even in my opinion. 01:12:15.513 --> 01:12:23.077 Now listen, folks, this is our penultimate live show here on Six Music for quite some time. 01:12:23.257 --> 01:12:30.723 Yeah, sorry to drop this bombshell, listeners, but I've got to go off and do some work early in the new year, so we're going to have to stop. 01:12:31.024 --> 01:12:31.524 What are you doing? 01:12:31.564 --> 01:12:33.666 You're directing your first film, is that right? 01:12:33.846 --> 01:12:35.207 That's the kind of thing, yeah. 01:12:35.387 --> 01:12:35.568 Yeah. 01:12:35.868 --> 01:12:36.428 Yeah. 01:12:36.628 --> 01:12:40.532 So I've got to basically stop doing the show for the early part of next year. 01:12:41.212 --> 01:12:46.097 And unfortunately, it's the nature of the double act that when Cornball stops, what does Bucky Lee's do? 01:12:46.117 --> 01:12:49.480 Oh, I've been accepted into the Norfolk space programme. 01:12:49.680 --> 01:12:49.940 Really? 01:12:50.140 --> 01:12:50.400 Yeah. 01:12:50.660 --> 01:12:54.961 So I'm going to be the first East Anglian man on Uranus. 01:12:55.362 --> 01:12:55.642 Wow. 01:12:56.142 --> 01:12:57.302 So that's exciting for me. 01:12:57.922 --> 01:12:59.683 Maybe even a bit more exciting than your news. 01:12:59.863 --> 01:13:01.023 I don't know who's to say. 01:13:01.443 --> 01:13:05.405 But for me, it's an amazing opportunity and I would be foolish not to take it. 01:13:05.525 --> 01:13:09.846 So that's where I'm going to be for the beginning of next year, at least. 01:13:10.106 --> 01:13:14.329 Yes, but it'll mean where this show is off the air for the first few months of next year. 01:13:14.389 --> 01:13:17.371 But to keep you happy, we're doing all sorts of things. 01:13:17.451 --> 01:13:22.294 For instance, from the 22nd of December, there's going to be a podcast every day. 01:13:22.714 --> 01:13:23.294 Is that right? 01:13:23.454 --> 01:13:24.975 Yeah, for 12 days. 01:13:25.035 --> 01:13:29.118 What the people here at Six Music are calling the 12 Podcasts of Christmas. 01:13:29.418 --> 01:13:36.643 They'll start with a few early ones, like from when we very first started doing podcasts, and there'll be a couple of newer ones at the end there. 01:13:37.604 --> 01:13:47.653 We have pre-recorded a Boxing Day show, which is myself and Joe's traditional Christmas party, where we give each other gifts and do some inappropriate morning drinking. 01:13:47.793 --> 01:13:50.936 That's going to be on the 26th of December, you can hear that. 01:13:50.956 --> 01:13:52.157 Will that be at the normal time? 01:13:52.217 --> 01:13:55.860 So from 10am till 1pm on the 26th of December. 01:13:56.561 --> 01:13:59.063 And also there is a Christmas Eve Best Of, 01:13:59.403 --> 01:14:05.911 that our producer James has very kindly put together, which will go out at 4pm on Christmas Eve here on 6 Music. 01:14:06.291 --> 01:14:08.294 So there's all that to look forward to over the festive period. 01:14:08.314 --> 01:14:12.639 Plus we'll be back as normal next week for what's going to be our last live show for a while. 01:14:13.019 --> 01:14:18.045 And we might, you know, we'll do some, I'm going to try and do a bog-in song. 01:14:19.066 --> 01:14:24.289 And I'm gonna bring in some made-up jokes in a big bowl that we can pick out. 01:14:24.729 --> 01:14:28.911 Maybe I should spend a few of my nectar points on getting some fun stuff. 01:14:28.991 --> 01:14:30.032 It's gonna be a big show next week. 01:14:30.072 --> 01:14:31.873 Yeah, it's gonna be a big emotional show. 01:14:31.913 --> 01:14:37.355 Yeah, and the other thing is we're gonna keep the blog running as much as we can during our leave of absence. 01:14:37.816 --> 01:14:41.758 bbc.co.uk forward slash blogs forward slash Adam and Jo. 01:14:41.798 --> 01:14:44.379 So please keep communicating with us and sending stuff in. 01:14:44.679 --> 01:14:53.983 It'll be it'll be an emotional farewell next week like Cilla on surprise surprise was it no plan No, I'm not gonna do no more blind data. 01:14:54.043 --> 01:14:55.063 Laura Laura. 01:14:55.143 --> 01:15:05.548 Sorry It should also be said that we'll come running You know back to this show and back to this station as quickly as we possibly can I'll be like that lion in that YouTube video that yes return to that woman 01:15:05.948 --> 01:15:06.909 Yeah. 01:15:07.169 --> 01:15:16.593 I don't even want to go into how much I'm going to miss it because I'll start getting genuinely teary and I don't want to add to the number of men who cry in the media. 01:15:17.494 --> 01:15:18.294 No, I really will. 01:15:19.075 --> 01:15:25.057 But it's an unavoidable situation and we hope you'll really bear with us for the first bit of next year until we come back. 01:15:25.518 --> 01:15:25.858 Exactly. 01:15:26.278 --> 01:15:31.064 Right now, here's Devendra Banhart with 16th and Valencia Roxy Music. 01:15:31.324 --> 01:15:37.812 Devendra Banhart there with 16th and Valencia Roxy Music. 01:15:37.932 --> 01:15:38.433 Good stuff. 01:15:38.513 --> 01:15:39.434 That's a good album, man. 01:15:39.494 --> 01:15:40.235 You should check that out. 01:15:40.255 --> 01:15:40.395 Thanks. 01:15:40.816 --> 01:15:41.256 Well done. 01:15:41.837 --> 01:15:44.160 So how many girlfriends have you got, Devendra? 01:15:45.950 --> 01:15:46.050 Uh, 62. 01:15:46.090 --> 01:15:48.153 62 girlfriends. 01:15:48.233 --> 01:15:50.095 How do you remember all their names? 01:15:50.195 --> 01:15:51.957 I just number them 1 to 62. 01:15:52.437 --> 01:15:54.339 And actually, I've written them on their foreheads. 01:15:54.579 --> 01:15:55.540 What's your favourite number? 01:15:55.761 --> 01:15:57.342 If they wash it off, I chuck them. 01:15:57.543 --> 01:15:58.163 Yeah, sure. 01:15:58.343 --> 01:15:59.865 That's the way most people do it, right? 01:15:59.965 --> 01:16:02.007 And you force them to wander around nude. 01:16:02.328 --> 01:16:02.968 Yes, I do. 01:16:03.029 --> 01:16:03.689 In your teepee. 01:16:03.889 --> 01:16:04.490 Yes, I do. 01:16:04.510 --> 01:16:05.651 In my huge teepee. 01:16:05.671 --> 01:16:07.093 You're not worried that's a bit retrograde? 01:16:07.353 --> 01:16:11.857 No, no one ever comes in the teepee apart from the wife, so it's my private, my private realm. 01:16:11.877 --> 01:16:12.978 Does it smell in there? 01:16:13.559 --> 01:16:14.439 Only of fun things. 01:16:14.679 --> 01:16:14.920 Yeah. 01:16:15.380 --> 01:16:15.881 Good times. 01:16:15.901 --> 01:16:16.501 Fun smells. 01:16:16.561 --> 01:16:17.722 Thanks very much, Devendra. 01:16:18.423 --> 01:16:19.123 Take care, bye. 01:16:19.323 --> 01:16:19.664 Bye-bye. 01:16:21.045 --> 01:16:23.307 Now, propropriation, we haven't done that for a while, eh? 01:16:23.347 --> 01:16:24.248 Let's have the jingle-jungle. 01:16:25.683 --> 01:16:44.271 I like to change the lyrics of songs from time to time To make them refer to things I do I call it pop-pop creation and as far as I'm aware 01:16:57.080 --> 01:17:02.966 Bent over the washing this week, I started singing to myself. 01:17:03.246 --> 01:17:04.667 Oh, I thought you were going to go somewhere else. 01:17:06.969 --> 01:17:07.790 Not by someone. 01:17:08.571 --> 01:17:12.014 I was bent over myself just helping out with the washing a little bit. 01:17:12.594 --> 01:17:14.036 And the tune popped into my head. 01:17:14.396 --> 01:17:16.778 The never ending laundry. 01:17:21.222 --> 01:17:24.924 Hey, that would be good intro for the podcast. 01:17:26.485 --> 01:17:27.166 Never ending story. 01:17:27.386 --> 01:17:27.686 Yeah. 01:17:27.806 --> 01:17:28.567 Another good one though. 01:17:28.827 --> 01:17:38.013 Anyway, I'm sure other people must sing that tune because especially if you've got a family, a fairly large family, the washing machine just never stops a whirring. 01:17:38.893 --> 01:17:48.359 And you're always just plucking stuff out there and hanging it up and... Here's a message, though, from David Bennett who says, Hi, Adam and Joe. 01:17:48.760 --> 01:17:51.942 I was listening to the show and looking through my post at the same time. 01:17:52.082 --> 01:18:00.647 Just as you started to play This Is Not America by David Bowie, I picked up an envelope carrying the stern warning, This is not a circular. 01:18:01.148 --> 01:18:07.652 Clearly, it's the power of your minds and I shall forever be singing, This is not a circular. 01:18:08.192 --> 01:18:08.713 No! 01:18:09.433 --> 01:18:12.856 To the appropriate tune at every appropriate occasion. 01:18:13.176 --> 01:18:14.097 Love, David Bennett. 01:18:14.777 --> 01:18:17.539 I got fooled by This Is Not A Circular the other day. 01:18:17.760 --> 01:18:20.101 Do you know the things that I'm talking about, right? 01:18:20.241 --> 01:18:21.963 Yeah. 01:18:22.143 --> 01:18:22.984 Wasn't a circular. 01:18:23.704 --> 01:18:25.045 Er, no, it wasn't a circular. 01:18:25.185 --> 01:18:28.966 I don't think, are they allowed to put, this is not a circular if it's, if it is a circular? 01:18:29.206 --> 01:18:30.306 Everything's allowed these days. 01:18:30.726 --> 01:18:31.407 You reckon they do? 01:18:31.427 --> 01:18:32.767 That would be so low, wouldn't it? 01:18:33.147 --> 01:18:42.390 And I just assumed cynically that that's what someone had done, but this is not a circular in order that you're fooled into opening it and, so, not gonna fall for that one, matey! 01:18:42.971 --> 01:18:47.952 No way am I gonna open that envelope and find out it is a circular and you've wasted a few seconds of my time! 01:18:48.172 --> 01:18:49.453 That's going straight in the bin! 01:18:50.267 --> 01:18:56.591 It wasn't a circular, it was a message from the electricity board saying they were turning the power off for a whole day. 01:18:56.611 --> 01:19:02.355 And then when the day rolled round and everything went off, I was thrown into turmoil and confusion. 01:19:02.956 --> 01:19:07.839 You got a great deal of correspondence about your HDMI cable mix-up last week, didn't you? 01:19:07.879 --> 01:19:16.845 Last week Adam was talking about how he went into an electronic accessories retailer in order to buy a new HDMI cable and they told him there were three different prices available, sort of £10, £50 and £100. 01:19:19.347 --> 01:19:24.010 100 for the gold, 75 for the copper and 50 for the ring. 01:19:24.030 --> 01:19:29.552 And we got an avalanche of very responsible correspondents pointing out that there is no degradation of image. 01:19:29.572 --> 01:19:32.054 An HDMI cable is an HDMI cable. 01:19:32.434 --> 01:19:34.095 It's the same quality whatever you pay for it. 01:19:34.115 --> 01:19:36.496 So that whole pricing scheme is a complete ripple off. 01:19:36.696 --> 01:19:41.441 Someone said they even had a thing on The Gadget Show on Channel 5 proving exactly this. 01:19:41.541 --> 01:19:42.663 They hooked up three TVs. 01:19:42.683 --> 01:19:46.247 The show with the most enthusiastic presenters on television. 01:19:46.267 --> 01:19:47.188 Have you ever watched that show? 01:19:47.208 --> 01:19:47.728 Sure, it's a good show. 01:19:47.748 --> 01:19:51.853 There are levels of enthusiasm that are almost unwatchable. 01:19:52.393 --> 01:19:52.854 I like it. 01:19:53.114 --> 01:19:53.675 I like it as well. 01:19:53.715 --> 01:19:54.535 I always end up watching it. 01:19:54.635 --> 01:19:59.500 They finally, on Harry Hill's TV but the other day, they finally did the thing that I was going to do on this show actually. 01:19:59.621 --> 01:20:04.606 I was going to bring in their prize section and just play the audio. 01:20:04.646 --> 01:20:07.889 They give the most prizes of any show ever in history. 01:20:07.909 --> 01:20:09.611 It takes about 10 minutes to list them. 01:20:09.811 --> 01:20:13.875 Literally, it takes three minutes to go through all the prizes they're going to give you. 01:20:13.915 --> 01:20:15.357 It's unbelievable. 01:20:15.797 --> 01:20:16.197 It's great. 01:20:16.638 --> 01:20:19.740 One final bit of pop appropriation from Tom Patterson in Dorset. 01:20:20.020 --> 01:20:26.085 He says, I like to sing, I want to make tea to the tune of I Want to Break Free in the morning. 01:20:26.586 --> 01:20:27.787 I'm sure a lot of people do that. 01:20:28.207 --> 01:20:30.529 I want to make tea. 01:20:30.549 --> 01:20:34.012 You could go on and just provide whole section of new lyrics for that one, couldn't you? 01:20:34.292 --> 01:20:36.173 Thanks for those bits of pop appropriation. 01:20:36.373 --> 01:20:37.154 Here's a free play. 01:20:37.194 --> 01:20:39.576 This is some hip hop from the recent past as well. 01:20:39.616 --> 01:20:41.017 This is a group called Main Source. 01:20:41.037 --> 01:20:42.338 This is called Looking at the Front Door. 01:20:42.638 --> 01:20:43.259 That's good, man. 01:20:43.539 --> 01:20:44.500 Yeah, that's a classic. 01:20:44.520 --> 01:20:48.362 That's main source from their album, Breaking Atoms, looking at the front door. 01:20:48.402 --> 01:20:50.924 Now, we launched a text-a-nation subject a while ago. 01:20:51.224 --> 01:20:52.725 Are we gonna read out some of these quickly? 01:20:52.745 --> 01:20:53.226 Yeah, let's have some. 01:20:53.246 --> 01:20:54.407 Yeah, are we gonna have a jingle? 01:20:54.827 --> 01:20:56.288 Go on then. 01:20:57.108 --> 01:20:57.949 Text-a-nation. 01:20:57.989 --> 01:20:59.910 Text, text, text, text-a-nation. 01:20:59.970 --> 01:21:00.931 What if I don't want to? 01:21:01.171 --> 01:21:01.892 Text-a-nation. 01:21:01.992 --> 01:21:02.993 But I'm using email. 01:21:03.173 --> 01:21:03.893 Is that a problem? 01:21:03.933 --> 01:21:04.754 It doesn't matter, text! 01:21:07.384 --> 01:21:10.586 And we're asking you all about homemade Christmas presents. 01:21:10.646 --> 01:21:14.669 We want really good ideas, so cash-strapped listeners can copy them. 01:21:14.849 --> 01:21:21.614 Stuff you've given or stuff you've received that hasn't involved any kind of shopping at all, really, except perhaps for materials. 01:21:21.994 --> 01:21:23.235 Here's one from Mark Tyler. 01:21:23.575 --> 01:21:26.057 My sister made me a model of Jabba the Hutt out of clay. 01:21:26.457 --> 01:21:28.378 It looks more like a green poo with a face. 01:21:29.059 --> 01:21:30.800 I'll try and find you a picture, says Mark. 01:21:30.820 --> 01:21:31.480 Would you like that? 01:21:31.500 --> 01:21:35.903 Would you like me to make you a model of Jabba the Hutt that looks like a green poo with a face? 01:21:37.564 --> 01:21:39.365 What if it was a green poo with a face? 01:21:40.206 --> 01:21:41.006 Would you like that more? 01:21:41.206 --> 01:21:42.607 Yeah, like a little baby poo. 01:21:43.027 --> 01:21:44.568 It wouldn't be a little baby. 01:21:44.908 --> 01:21:46.169 Would it not? 01:21:46.229 --> 01:21:49.510 You'd have to change your diet because that would be a touching thing to do for someone, wouldn't it? 01:21:49.911 --> 01:21:55.574 You'd change your diet for two weeks so you can produce a little festive stool. 01:21:56.774 --> 01:22:01.376 That you then put a face on and call it jab of the hut and give it to a relative. 01:22:01.416 --> 01:22:04.857 That's a good idea Mr. Hankey. 01:22:04.877 --> 01:22:05.998 What would you have to eat? 01:22:07.358 --> 01:22:08.659 Just a lot of food colouring. 01:22:08.679 --> 01:22:10.820 You'd have to drink a lot of food colouring. 01:22:11.220 --> 01:22:15.421 Here's one from Tom D. Is that cool to have a second name that's just a letter? 01:22:15.501 --> 01:22:20.363 Tommy D. Maybe he runs the Big D Peanuts factory. 01:22:21.064 --> 01:22:21.664 I think he does, yeah. 01:22:22.464 --> 01:22:25.806 As a child I once made my mother a snow globe out of a peanut butter jar. 01:22:26.186 --> 01:22:29.368 I spent all of 20 minutes making it, wrapped it up and popped it under the tree. 01:22:29.408 --> 01:22:35.030 Within two hours there was a small pool of water and glycerine that had drained from my poorly constructed peanut butter snow globe. 01:22:35.451 --> 01:22:39.593 My mother tried not to get angry about the soaking carpets but she didn't do it very well. 01:22:39.773 --> 01:22:40.233 Bye! 01:22:40.253 --> 01:22:43.555 Says Tom Dee and finally, dear Adam and Joe, 01:22:44.435 --> 01:22:46.156 I'm a bit Skinny Wint this year. 01:22:46.736 --> 01:22:47.816 Actually, it says Skinny Wint. 01:22:48.076 --> 01:22:53.639 So I'm making my horse-loving sister, she's 28, a horse mask that she can wear. 01:22:54.159 --> 01:22:55.699 It's made out of papier mache. 01:22:55.899 --> 01:22:56.500 Here's a picture. 01:22:56.760 --> 01:22:58.340 We can quite get the picture out of the computer. 01:22:58.360 --> 01:22:59.421 It's not finished quite yet. 01:22:59.501 --> 01:23:00.761 I put in the teeth yesterday. 01:23:01.121 --> 01:23:04.663 While I was looking at them, I started to chuckle to myself because of the horse's insane grin. 01:23:05.643 --> 01:23:08.504 I mean, that's what Christmas should really be all about, shouldn't it? 01:23:08.704 --> 01:23:10.024 We can't see the photo there. 01:23:10.144 --> 01:23:12.304 That is from... Who is that from? 01:23:12.624 --> 01:23:13.144 Crikey. 01:23:13.304 --> 01:23:14.785 Dan Shinner. 01:23:15.505 --> 01:23:19.305 We can't see the photo, but I can see it in my mind's eye and it's brilliant. 01:23:19.545 --> 01:23:26.807 You know, because otherwise you're just going out and buying people DVD box sets that they could perfectly easily buy for themselves, you know. 01:23:27.467 --> 01:23:33.608 What is much nicer than that is a horse... Homemade horse mask or a poo with a face. 01:23:34.588 --> 01:23:36.409 What gets more Christmassy than that? 01:23:36.429 --> 01:23:38.030 With a face, you know? 01:23:38.131 --> 01:23:39.972 And that is what it's all about. 01:23:40.052 --> 01:23:40.312 Yeah. 01:23:40.492 --> 01:23:41.172 Yeah, listeners. 01:23:41.733 --> 01:23:45.335 Okay, so keep your ideas for homemade presents coming in throughout the week. 01:23:45.355 --> 01:23:48.717 Don't forget, just emails if you're listening to this show during the week. 01:23:48.917 --> 01:23:49.537 No texts. 01:23:49.617 --> 01:23:52.699 Please, the email address is adamandjo.6music. 01:23:53.840 --> 01:23:57.082 No, adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 01:23:57.382 --> 01:23:57.882 There you go. 01:23:58.303 --> 01:24:00.424 That's pretty much it for us this week, listeners. 01:24:00.484 --> 01:24:01.785 There's no Liz Kershaw today. 01:24:01.845 --> 01:24:03.486 Instead, it's Joe Goode. 01:24:03.986 --> 01:24:08.172 who is going to be with you and then of course Richard Bacon will be joining you from 3 p.m. 01:24:08.212 --> 01:24:09.134 here on 6 Music. 01:24:09.194 --> 01:24:11.537 We'll be back at the same time next Saturday from 10 a.m. 01:24:11.577 --> 01:24:12.178 till 1 p.m. 01:24:12.238 --> 01:24:14.441 Thanks to everyone who's texted or emailed. 01:24:14.802 --> 01:24:15.383 Have a great week. 01:24:15.603 --> 01:24:16.604 Yeah, we love you, bye! 01:24:16.765 --> 01:24:16.945 Bye.