WEBVTT 00:15.736 --> 00:17.136 That's Susie in the band. 00:17.176 --> 00:19.077 She's there with Hong Kong Garden. 00:19.097 --> 00:20.498 It's all very exciting. 00:20.538 --> 00:23.659 So I was just chatting outside with James Corden and George Lamb. 00:23.679 --> 00:24.520 That's how I roll. 00:24.540 --> 00:25.940 I can't hear nothing. 00:25.980 --> 00:29.542 You know, I just like a little chit chat with some attractive, famous people. 00:29.562 --> 00:29.902 There we go. 00:30.704 --> 00:33.185 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC 6 Music. 00:33.205 --> 00:36.587 This studio smells of cologne now and man products. 00:36.607 --> 00:37.927 It smells of success is what it smells of. 00:37.947 --> 00:44.290 Because it's the first time we've done our show after Mr Lamb's programme and it smells of men's grooming products. 00:45.450 --> 00:46.130 It smells nice. 00:46.371 --> 00:53.213 Usually we come here, no disrespect to the DJs that we followed in the past, but sometimes we come in here it smells a little student-y and funky. 00:53.874 --> 00:54.534 I disagree. 00:54.554 --> 00:55.454 Do you know what I'm saying? 00:55.534 --> 00:56.575 I think it smells lovely. 00:57.415 --> 01:00.537 I wouldn't want to be insulting towards the DJ's who we take over from. 01:00.917 --> 01:01.597 That's what I'm saying. 01:01.637 --> 01:03.018 I said no disrespect to them. 01:03.078 --> 01:04.919 I did a little no disrespect disclaimer. 01:05.439 --> 01:08.501 But there's definitely a manly smell in here. 01:09.921 --> 01:10.822 How you doing, listeners? 01:10.902 --> 01:11.902 Very nice to have you along. 01:12.543 --> 01:15.284 How you feeling getting up an hour later, Joe? 01:15.304 --> 01:16.125 Discombobulated. 01:16.145 --> 01:16.885 I feel perky! 01:17.885 --> 01:18.726 I'm overexcited. 01:18.946 --> 01:20.127 I need to be taking down a peg. 01:20.347 --> 01:20.827 Oh, I'll do that. 01:21.007 --> 01:21.287 Will you? 01:21.307 --> 01:22.288 Try it. 01:22.308 --> 01:22.808 I bet you can't. 01:22.888 --> 01:24.049 Shut up. 01:24.069 --> 01:24.729 That's depressing. 01:25.269 --> 01:26.249 Um, no, it's good, isn't it? 01:26.329 --> 01:26.970 I was confused. 01:27.010 --> 01:30.371 I didn't know whether my feet were attached to my ears. 01:30.531 --> 01:31.431 I didn't know what was going on. 01:31.591 --> 01:31.811 Yeah. 01:31.972 --> 01:32.632 It was confusing. 01:32.692 --> 01:33.972 I woke up at the normal time anyway. 01:34.072 --> 01:34.472 Did you? 01:34.813 --> 01:34.973 Yes. 01:35.113 --> 01:36.013 Did you go to bed later? 01:36.653 --> 01:36.893 Yes. 01:37.133 --> 01:38.394 I went to bed an hour later. 01:38.574 --> 01:40.975 I went to bed an hour later. 01:41.075 --> 01:41.715 I went to bed at 1.15. 01:41.815 --> 01:44.276 I wrote a song about fairies. 01:44.576 --> 01:48.798 And then I did a performance piece to myself in front of the fridge. 01:49.138 --> 01:52.179 I stuffed my pillow with little dead fairies. 01:52.779 --> 01:58.181 Tiny dead fairies, the irony of the fairies being dead was not lost on me. 02:00.342 --> 02:02.323 And then I did some mime. 02:03.143 --> 02:04.764 So we've got a packed show for you listeners. 02:04.924 --> 02:05.744 Packed with what? 02:06.024 --> 02:08.325 We're not going to say, but it's certainly packed. 02:09.645 --> 02:11.846 It's packed to the gills with guts. 02:11.906 --> 02:16.748 The guts of the show absolutely are top guts and they're coming up very soon. 02:16.908 --> 02:18.509 Now, wait, wait, wait. 02:18.669 --> 02:21.250 Some listeners might be confused about the status of Black Squadron. 02:22.230 --> 02:26.192 If you're tuning in for the first time, I don't know why that would be, because we've only shifted forward an hour. 02:26.452 --> 02:30.753 Well, there might be a lot of George Lamb listeners who are trying to make the transition. 02:31.154 --> 02:36.796 We have an elite listening force who listen to this show usually between 9am and 9.30am. 02:36.816 --> 02:41.798 We regarded that as a particularly courageous and effortful time to listen to a radio programme. 02:42.318 --> 02:46.259 We christened them Black Squadron and each week they would do an extraordinary testing task. 02:46.940 --> 02:50.021 So obviously, does the new 10am start? 02:50.701 --> 02:51.862 This isn't a very good sentence, is it? 02:52.203 --> 02:55.086 The question that is provoked... I want you to finish the other one. 02:55.346 --> 03:00.190 Does the new 10am start... Does the new 10am start change the status of Black Squadron? 03:00.210 --> 03:01.812 It's fine, turned out fine. 03:01.872 --> 03:03.574 Obviously at the beginning it wasn't very good. 03:04.094 --> 03:05.476 But does it, do you think? 03:05.976 --> 03:07.176 Who's left the phone off the hook? 03:07.256 --> 03:08.717 It's the whistle wazzle from the phone. 03:09.537 --> 03:10.158 Thank you. 03:10.518 --> 03:12.498 Do you think it changes the status of Black Squadron? 03:12.979 --> 03:14.739 I personally don't believe it does. 03:14.759 --> 03:16.460 I think it turns them into a different force. 03:16.500 --> 03:17.800 I think they've had an extra hour in bed. 03:17.820 --> 03:18.821 They're that much sharper. 03:18.841 --> 03:19.841 They're ready for maneuvers. 03:19.861 --> 03:24.143 Are they a sort of modern, you know, are they like the police force when they let short people in? 03:25.763 --> 03:31.487 Or, you know, when they change the entry criteria for a particular division that are usually quite hardcore, make it. 03:31.767 --> 03:39.452 Do you know, like, when they accepted people into the SAS who, you know, were maybe less muscly than the other ones? 03:39.552 --> 03:39.833 Right. 03:40.093 --> 03:42.434 And women and gays, that kind of thing. 03:43.575 --> 03:44.656 Or community policemen. 03:45.036 --> 03:50.139 Well, that's the most obvious change of policy in recent years has been gays in the military, right? 03:50.620 --> 03:50.920 Right. 03:51.600 --> 03:53.061 And what about short people? 03:53.241 --> 03:54.903 Are short people now allowed to be cops? 03:55.043 --> 03:55.203 Yeah. 03:55.863 --> 03:56.063 Right. 03:56.444 --> 03:56.704 Yeah. 03:56.864 --> 03:57.384 Is that a good thing? 03:57.404 --> 03:58.665 They used to be a height limit, didn't they? 03:58.685 --> 03:58.965 Didn't they? 03:58.985 --> 03:59.625 They took it away. 03:59.645 --> 04:00.326 Could I be a cop? 04:01.306 --> 04:03.748 There are limits. 04:03.768 --> 04:04.688 You might not get noticed. 04:05.569 --> 04:08.090 You get snowed under during protests. 04:09.091 --> 04:11.792 I stepped on. 04:12.292 --> 04:14.554 Oh, so are you going to issue the command for Black Squadron then? 04:14.794 --> 04:16.135 Let's have a record and let's discuss it. 04:16.255 --> 04:16.715 All right, then. 04:17.055 --> 04:17.916 Here's Mumford & Sons. 04:17.956 --> 04:19.897 It's your favourite 70s sitcom, man. 04:19.917 --> 04:20.497 Yeah, I love that. 04:20.657 --> 04:21.017 70s sitcom. 04:21.037 --> 04:22.138 This is winter wind. 04:23.203 --> 04:25.926 There's a great deal of confusion amongst the listenership. 04:26.086 --> 04:28.428 There's a lot of confusion amongst Black Squadron. 04:28.448 --> 04:32.231 A lot of them woke up and were confused by hearing George Lamb's show. 04:32.271 --> 04:33.432 They didn't understand. 04:33.493 --> 04:41.080 They've been trained to expect a command at that time in the morning, and now the pivot around which their psychology hinged. 04:41.140 --> 04:42.241 Can you hinge around a pivot? 04:42.801 --> 04:44.483 I think you probably can, not. 04:45.464 --> 04:47.846 It has been... Now I've got to extend the metaphor. 04:48.466 --> 04:51.088 Anyway, it's all gone wrong, and they're very confused. 04:51.248 --> 05:00.755 Again, you know, imagine the Manchurian candidate, they've all been carefully programmed after months, and now their signals are going wonky, and their domestic behavior is becoming erratic. 05:01.095 --> 05:10.722 It's as if, it's like in Westworld, you know, with Yule Brenner, where they're all robots, you know, people are going around their kitchens with their families, doing their breakfast routine, but something's not right. 05:10.942 --> 05:11.182 Sure. 05:11.362 --> 05:15.245 Something's slightly skewiff, little sparks and whiffs of smoke coming out of people's ears. 05:15.826 --> 05:17.146 You know, something's off. 05:18.107 --> 05:36.014 something's that was because the show's an hour later yeah that's what it is but black squadron i don't know i really feel for you i do know that i feel for you i feel for you i'm confused we're confused as well sing i feel for you by chakra khan feel for you yeah i did the synthy bit as well i think i loved you 05:38.495 --> 05:40.616 But we were thinking of different names for Black Squadron. 05:40.636 --> 05:42.737 We thought maybe if we changed the name, it might help. 05:42.837 --> 05:48.559 Black Squadron Light, Black Squadron Zero, Diet Squadron, but I don't know, it just doesn't feel right. 05:49.679 --> 05:55.661 I think maybe we should, for a week or so, until we get used to this, just let Black Squadron wander around. 05:56.602 --> 06:04.164 Bumping into things with an old bit of stale bread in the pocket, a rancid piece of bacon halfway up the arm, some manky egg in the mouth. 06:06.385 --> 06:07.886 Do you think or should we issue a command? 06:07.906 --> 06:09.407 Of course we should issue a command. 06:09.428 --> 06:11.970 All right, let's issue a command and see what kind of response we get. 06:12.010 --> 06:15.352 And the level of response we get will dictate whether we continue the squadron. 06:15.833 --> 06:17.354 We are now led by the squadron. 06:17.654 --> 06:18.295 We need stats. 06:18.315 --> 06:18.975 You love stats. 06:19.235 --> 06:22.098 Last week we got 140 responses to the squadron command. 06:22.178 --> 06:22.898 That was pretty good. 06:23.078 --> 06:25.000 Okay, so we're going to give you a command squadron. 06:25.020 --> 06:27.982 This is to see how together you are, to see whether we should continue this. 06:28.042 --> 06:32.606 If we get no response, then we may have to... Execute you all. 06:32.626 --> 06:33.267 Well, that's right. 06:33.287 --> 06:35.809 Adam and I may have to come round to your house. 06:36.549 --> 06:37.090 and execute you. 06:37.110 --> 06:38.571 That's what it comes down to on this show. 06:38.831 --> 06:42.254 We'll kill imaginary dogs, listeners, we'll kill anyone. 06:42.274 --> 06:45.136 Well hang on, there's a difference between an imaginary dog and actual listeners. 06:45.396 --> 06:45.757 Oh what? 06:46.417 --> 06:47.198 Oh yeah, you're right. 06:47.838 --> 06:49.520 So like killing a real person. 06:49.560 --> 06:50.721 So you should probably take that back. 06:50.741 --> 06:52.382 Compared to killing an imaginary dog. 06:52.402 --> 06:53.603 That's bad, isn't it? 06:53.763 --> 06:56.004 Yes, imagine everything that makes the world different. 06:56.024 --> 06:56.504 I got carried away. 06:56.524 --> 06:57.704 Listen, we won't actually kill you. 06:57.744 --> 06:58.685 What will we do to them then? 06:58.745 --> 06:59.625 How will we punish them? 07:00.025 --> 07:02.346 Well, think about that when we see what the level of response is. 07:02.686 --> 07:03.526 The text number is 64046. 07:03.846 --> 07:06.007 We're going to issue a command. 07:06.027 --> 07:10.569 We'd like you to take a photograph of yourself performing the command and send it to us on 64046. 07:12.009 --> 07:17.971 The best pictures, or pretty much all the pictures that are fit for publication, will be published on our blog, so you've got to be ready for that. 07:18.511 --> 07:23.313 As soon as Joe issues the command, we will blast into the first free play of the day. 07:23.333 --> 07:24.973 This is something I've chosen for you listeners. 07:25.333 --> 07:28.234 It's a piece of vintage Pink Floyd from their first album. 07:28.274 --> 07:29.634 It's called Lucifer Sam. 07:29.654 --> 07:30.795 It's about a cat, Joe. 07:30.815 --> 07:32.055 Oh, I like catties. 07:32.095 --> 07:33.796 You like cats, so I thought you might enjoy it. 07:34.596 --> 07:36.557 So Joe, issue the command, if you will, please. 07:36.577 --> 07:37.417 Hey, what's your cat voice? 07:40.020 --> 07:42.563 If you were to talk to a cat, how would you talk to a cat? 07:43.805 --> 07:47.850 Is that your cat voice? 07:48.571 --> 07:51.796 I don't patronise cats, I just talk to them. 07:51.836 --> 07:52.917 I know this is when it's in a good... 07:53.718 --> 08:19.225 in a good mood anyway here comes the command don't forget text will be charged at your standard message rate 64046 you can email as well if you have a digital camera adamandjoe.6 music at bbc.co.uk standby here is the command black squadron this week we would like you to photograph yourself in some bin bag fashion 08:21.756 --> 08:24.077 That's The Meters with Sissy Strutt. 08:24.177 --> 08:27.098 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 08:27.458 --> 08:28.818 Very nice to be with you listeners. 08:28.838 --> 08:36.680 What would you do, Adam, if you were in Black Squadron rather than a commander of Black Squadron and you received the command bin bag fashion? 08:36.840 --> 08:37.860 What would you do? 08:38.040 --> 08:40.061 I'd strip down so that I was nude. 08:40.921 --> 08:44.282 I would tear up some black bin bags. 08:44.742 --> 08:45.662 What do you mean, tear them up? 08:46.202 --> 08:51.825 Well I'd probably use scissors actually and I would cut down the seam to open them up. 08:53.365 --> 08:53.965 Speed this up? 08:54.506 --> 08:56.326 I would wrap them round myself with gaffer tape. 08:56.967 --> 08:57.287 Really? 08:57.327 --> 08:59.788 So you'd just wind gaffer tape round your torso? 08:59.808 --> 09:00.788 Well you told me to speed it up! 09:00.848 --> 09:03.590 I had lots of... I mean I'd get much more creative. 09:03.610 --> 09:06.031 When I said speed it up I didn't mean like tell lies. 09:07.171 --> 09:07.751 What do you want me to do? 09:07.771 --> 09:11.093 Do you want me to go into my ideas or do you want me to keep it speedy? 09:11.213 --> 09:11.373 Both. 09:13.757 --> 09:14.758 I'm not gonna do either now. 09:14.819 --> 09:16.020 I'd make a little cocktail dress. 09:16.080 --> 09:17.482 I'd make a cocktail dress! 09:18.587 --> 09:19.147 All right? 09:19.608 --> 09:20.888 My nipples would be showing. 09:20.928 --> 09:22.349 I'd cut little holes for them. 09:22.689 --> 09:23.489 Now you're talking. 09:23.509 --> 09:24.270 It would be short. 09:24.290 --> 09:25.030 It'd be very short. 09:25.050 --> 09:29.012 It'd be like a Roman toga, but a kind of one that Mark Armand might wear. 09:29.312 --> 09:35.495 Because, you know, I think that a lot of people have taken this command in an obvious but very good way. 09:36.055 --> 09:45.340 You know, popped a couple of arm holes in the sort of bottom corners of the bag, flipped it upside down, made a head hole, and worn it like a kind of a toga or tunic. 09:45.560 --> 09:46.780 Yeah. 09:47.001 --> 09:47.521 Whereas, 09:48.081 --> 10:04.941 this couple here let me see if I can find their names Paul and Sarah in Crofton Park in London Paul seems to have made himself a very attractive bin bag tie a sort of skinny tie which is you know there's minimalism there that I think is very imaginative and his lady partner there 10:06.022 --> 10:25.094 Uh is is that a bit of bin bag it's is that a lime green bin bag she's got a green bin bag around her neck as a kind of neckerchief yeah uh a necker scarf that's fancy also they have that is fat look at this guy that's exactly what i was thinking this is my idea the cocktail dress he is anonymous this guy's anonymous he's got a beard he's 10:29.078 --> 10:33.762 He looks like Colin and Justin fused into one man. 10:34.924 --> 10:40.549 And he's got white gaffer tape to make a cross. 10:40.589 --> 10:43.232 A sort of George's cross on his chest. 10:43.652 --> 10:45.174 This is very good Black Squadron. 10:45.194 --> 10:48.116 I mean it seems as if their powers have not diminished. 10:49.257 --> 10:51.639 There's a lady there, sat next to the bin. 10:51.779 --> 10:52.979 Is that a lady or a man? 10:53.160 --> 10:53.820 It's hard to tell. 10:53.860 --> 10:56.621 It's a little out of focus, but it's very attractive. 10:56.641 --> 10:57.562 Personally, I wouldn't care. 10:57.822 --> 10:58.863 He's nude. 10:58.963 --> 10:59.643 That guy's nude. 10:59.983 --> 11:03.165 And he's sitting in a bin bag next to a bin and a load of old bottles. 11:03.185 --> 11:07.488 I mean, bin bags attract bins like magnets or flies around. 11:08.448 --> 11:31.179 he's got no respect for himself someone's made bin bags shoes look at that that's very kind of um medieval or that sort of good uh uh what's it called festival wear you know if you go to a festival and don't have your boots then you make some makeshift that's the kind of thing we'll all be wearing in a few years john what when the apocalypse happens when the numbers run out when the mayan calendar ticks off a cliff 11:33.360 --> 11:34.961 Well, this is an extraordinary response. 11:35.021 --> 11:36.001 Black squadron. 11:36.021 --> 11:37.542 Oh, look at this one. 11:38.602 --> 11:39.662 Sorry, that's a nude one. 11:40.543 --> 11:40.943 Almost. 11:41.903 --> 11:43.344 He's wearing, I tell you what, he's done. 11:43.404 --> 11:44.544 He's got a sort of a bib. 11:44.924 --> 11:53.107 It's like, you know, when you have a, people don't wear them anymore, but when you wear black tie, you have a kind of weird bib, like a fake shirt. 11:53.548 --> 11:57.269 And do you remember in like old time comedy films, it rolls up and finds people in the face. 11:57.309 --> 11:57.809 Yes, I do. 11:57.849 --> 11:59.470 He sort of made a bin bag version of that. 11:59.950 --> 12:05.293 but he's nude and the bib is going down just far enough to protect his modesty. 12:05.353 --> 12:09.415 It's the sort of suit that Sasha Baron Cohen wore when he was promoting Borax. 12:09.455 --> 12:11.096 Remember that all in one little song? 12:11.116 --> 12:11.716 A little like that. 12:11.756 --> 12:12.496 That's a non. 12:13.737 --> 12:14.157 Very nice. 12:14.217 --> 12:15.218 Anyway, keep those coming in. 12:15.678 --> 12:18.359 So Joe, we've had a message that came through during the week. 12:18.440 --> 12:19.520 This is from Charlotte. 12:19.660 --> 12:20.140 Just the one. 12:20.401 --> 12:21.381 Charlotte from Catford. 12:21.421 --> 12:23.042 Actually, a few people messaged in. 12:23.682 --> 12:25.483 But I'm gonna read out Charlotte's one. 12:25.824 --> 12:27.485 She said dear buckles and corn balls. 12:27.585 --> 12:32.488 Well mainly corn balls Is that your voice on the Terry's chocolate orange advert? 12:33.048 --> 12:34.850 I got ten pounds riding on it. 12:34.950 --> 12:49.640 I got ten pounds I got ten pounds riding on it say yes, and I'll halve the money smiley emoticon big hugs and huge kisses she's gone and There's another stranger motorcon underneath that looks like a I know what that one a groin 12:53.863 --> 12:55.605 So is that you, Terry? 12:56.085 --> 12:56.245 Yeah. 12:56.626 --> 12:57.367 The chocolate orange man? 12:57.387 --> 12:58.568 Yeah, she's a tenner richer. 12:58.808 --> 13:00.330 Well, you're a fiver richer, boy. 13:00.470 --> 13:01.952 She said she's going to halve the money. 13:02.012 --> 13:02.873 No. 13:03.193 --> 13:05.616 Party time, party time, five pound party time. 13:05.676 --> 13:07.938 Imagine all the things that I can buy with five pounds. 13:08.259 --> 13:11.763 One pound, two pound, three pound, four pound, five pound, five pound, five pound party time. 13:13.482 --> 13:14.423 That's a fun party. 13:14.443 --> 13:15.304 I'm going to come to that one. 13:16.204 --> 13:19.847 So Charlotte from Catford, you have said that you've got £10. 13:19.927 --> 13:21.529 That's a bet riding on it. 13:22.029 --> 13:23.270 She says she'll halve the money. 13:23.650 --> 13:25.412 You have to halve the money now, right? 13:25.472 --> 13:28.214 Because you don't like people that Welsh on bets and things like that. 13:28.234 --> 13:28.494 I hate. 13:29.175 --> 13:30.336 Well, no, I don't. 13:30.536 --> 13:31.757 You hate the Welsh is what you're going to say. 13:31.837 --> 13:32.758 No, I was not going to say that. 13:33.198 --> 13:33.719 I am Welsh. 13:34.079 --> 13:34.579 You are Welsh. 13:34.599 --> 13:34.960 That's right. 13:36.721 --> 13:38.462 Rodriguez. 13:38.482 --> 13:39.723 That's why I'm called Cornish. 13:40.043 --> 13:41.264 That's my Welsh accent. 13:42.265 --> 13:43.726 So are you going to make her give you the money? 13:44.166 --> 13:45.827 I'm going to make her give me the money. 13:45.867 --> 13:47.828 I mean, even though that's grotesquely unfair. 13:47.908 --> 13:49.909 I'm going to make you give me the money. 13:49.950 --> 13:50.650 You're a professional. 13:50.670 --> 13:56.474 You don't necessarily need five pounds from Charlotte and Catford, but still you're going to force her to give it you. 13:56.994 --> 13:58.435 Maybe she should bring it to the studio. 13:58.615 --> 13:59.356 That's a good idea! 13:59.376 --> 14:00.436 Would you be up for that, Charlotte? 14:00.456 --> 14:04.579 And she could count it out into my palm in coins and the audience would be able to hear them. 14:04.839 --> 14:07.041 Or she could buy you something with the five pounds. 14:07.061 --> 14:07.421 What about that? 14:07.441 --> 14:08.361 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 14:08.422 --> 14:09.122 No, you want the cash? 14:09.262 --> 14:09.883 I want the cash. 14:10.003 --> 14:11.464 Yeah, we can go and spend it together, maybe. 14:11.584 --> 14:12.404 That's a good idea. 14:13.125 --> 14:13.825 Party time. 14:13.845 --> 14:14.446 Party time. 14:14.506 --> 14:15.846 Five pound party time. 14:17.207 --> 14:18.508 So get in touch, Charlotte. 14:18.548 --> 14:19.529 Let us know what you want to do. 14:19.629 --> 14:21.350 But one way or the other, we're getting five quid off you. 14:21.650 --> 14:22.511 Here's our tech camera. 14:23.143 --> 14:26.305 See, there used to be a breakfast show called Good Morning Britain, right? 14:26.605 --> 14:28.426 And that came out at around that time. 14:28.966 --> 14:31.667 That's not an Aztec camera record, I remember. 14:31.747 --> 14:33.368 Mick Jones, an Aztec camera, that is. 14:33.508 --> 14:33.828 Is it? 14:33.909 --> 14:34.129 Yeah. 14:34.449 --> 14:38.591 Anyway, listeners, we have overshot our news slot. 14:39.091 --> 14:40.432 So we're going to have to get into the news. 14:40.512 --> 14:42.513 Black Squadron, you can stand down. 14:43.994 --> 14:46.155 And maybe should we play the jingle for them now? 14:46.175 --> 14:46.575 Let's have it. 14:50.439 --> 14:57.904 Stand down, your work is done You've earned yourself a nice warm bath And maybe a nice little bargain 15:01.690 --> 15:03.251 That was Run DMC there. 15:03.452 --> 15:05.313 Listen, I've got an idea for the past. 15:06.114 --> 15:12.479 Like, if there was an award ceremony in the past and Tricky came on to present an award, my idea is you play that song. 15:13.340 --> 15:13.480 Oh. 15:13.600 --> 15:18.004 Yeah, this is like, when was Tricky at his Fame Peak? 15:18.304 --> 15:19.666 Fame Peak, mid-90s? 15:19.906 --> 15:21.167 Well, that's an idea for the mid-90s. 15:21.227 --> 15:21.327 Yeah. 15:22.908 --> 15:24.149 That's a great idea. 15:24.169 --> 15:29.592 Do you think it's worth trying to build a time machine and going back in time just to implement that idea in the past? 15:29.892 --> 15:30.412 Definitely. 15:30.592 --> 15:31.293 Yes, definitely. 15:31.793 --> 15:36.175 That would be a great show, a guy who goes back and just jazzes up award ceremonies. 15:36.235 --> 15:36.515 Yeah. 15:37.896 --> 15:38.756 What would it be called? 15:39.877 --> 15:40.797 The sermoniser. 15:41.178 --> 15:41.598 Yes. 15:42.618 --> 15:43.119 Brilliant. 15:43.239 --> 15:45.020 And Stuart Copeland could do the music. 15:46.321 --> 15:47.222 That'll be awesome. 15:50.786 --> 15:52.628 Your award ceremony lacks sparkle. 15:52.888 --> 15:54.830 I come from the future to give you some ideas. 15:54.850 --> 15:57.973 What a brilliant idea for the past. 15:57.993 --> 15:59.275 Let's put that on Dave. 16:00.176 --> 16:01.037 At some point, wouldn't they? 16:01.657 --> 16:03.800 So, shall we have a bit of retro textination? 16:04.140 --> 16:04.660 Yes, please. 16:09.875 --> 16:18.396 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, 16:43.543 --> 16:46.566 It's all because we've started at 10 today where we're very confused. 16:46.686 --> 16:50.989 Our space, our position in the space time continuum has been disrupted. 16:51.629 --> 16:52.930 No one knows quite what they're doing. 16:53.270 --> 17:00.936 But retro text the nation, of course, is the part of the program where you we read your contributes to last week's contributes contributions. 17:00.956 --> 17:01.796 That's what the kids say. 17:01.837 --> 17:02.017 Yeah. 17:02.217 --> 17:03.678 To last week's text the nation. 17:03.838 --> 17:04.959 Nice contribute guy. 17:04.979 --> 17:05.159 Thanks. 17:05.699 --> 17:11.586 and the theme was amazing parties, the most incredible imaginative ways to make a party really incredible and imaginative. 17:12.006 --> 17:14.589 And we got some superb responses. 17:15.691 --> 17:17.372 For instance, listen to this one. 17:17.793 --> 17:22.218 Dear Adam and Jo, a few weeks ago I went to visit a friend who's at university in Bournemouth. 17:22.738 --> 17:25.939 He whisked me away to a party that some of his course mates were throwing. 17:26.399 --> 17:36.762 The purpose of the party was to watch Das Boot, the original uncut version, which, for those of you that don't know, is the 293-minute original television version of Das Boot. 17:37.722 --> 17:47.644 As it was a house full of model makers, they'd completely kitted out the inside of the house to look like a German U-boat, using cardboard, duct tape, and anything else they could get their hands on. 17:47.824 --> 17:48.264 Wow. 17:48.365 --> 17:49.605 Included was a periscope, 17:50.385 --> 18:00.217 tiny doorways between rooms and an array of pipes labelled in German, the best of which was a schwarzwalde kerstorte, black forest ghetto pipe. 18:00.838 --> 18:02.920 It was a very surreal and enjoyable experience. 18:06.264 --> 18:08.145 and it made me miss my university days. 18:08.345 --> 18:10.046 Six hugs and seven kisses. 18:10.546 --> 18:11.747 Andrew Fensom in London. 18:12.247 --> 18:17.389 Now, the bit of genius there, I think, is to make doors smaller using cardboard. 18:17.409 --> 18:24.892 So presumably you get big sheets of cardboard and then cut a sort of oval-shaped portal in it and stick it over the door. 18:25.213 --> 18:26.833 So everybody has to climb through a little bit. 18:26.873 --> 18:27.554 That's brilliant. 18:27.574 --> 18:29.374 It would get kicked apart a little bit. 18:29.495 --> 18:29.855 By you. 18:30.635 --> 18:35.137 But other people who were able to behave themselves would enjoy the doors. 18:35.157 --> 18:36.358 I don't mean deliberately. 18:36.378 --> 18:38.279 I mean accidentally and stuff. 18:38.439 --> 18:39.479 Oh, there's no drink at the party. 18:39.619 --> 18:41.420 As they know, no drink in the submarine. 18:41.620 --> 18:43.081 And certainly not. 18:43.181 --> 18:45.542 Why are you drinking in the submarine? 18:46.143 --> 18:55.227 Because we have not yet had our engines crippled and sunk to the bottom of the ocean, then we will start to drink when we realize we're going to suffocate and die at the bottom of the ocean in that boot. 18:55.547 --> 18:56.068 Right. 18:56.428 --> 18:56.749 Right. 18:57.009 --> 18:58.511 Because they do get up to some fun stuff. 18:58.551 --> 19:03.577 I mean, you could also make it a bit like the Widowmaker K-19. 19:03.718 --> 19:04.398 Yes. 19:04.619 --> 19:05.380 And you could have some nuclear. 19:05.400 --> 19:05.860 Why wouldn't you? 19:06.161 --> 19:07.042 Have some nuclear fun. 19:07.062 --> 19:09.084 There could be a room with a little nuclear reactor in it. 19:09.104 --> 19:09.225 Yes. 19:09.765 --> 19:11.007 Everyone crawls in there and comes out. 19:11.027 --> 19:11.547 That's a good idea. 19:12.288 --> 19:13.608 and comes out puking. 19:13.768 --> 19:14.789 It's what happens at parties anyway. 19:15.009 --> 19:20.630 So instead of the actual nuclear reactor, right, you have a big bowl with some punch that's way too strong. 19:20.670 --> 19:21.431 That's a very good idea. 19:21.451 --> 19:24.611 Everyone has to go in there and try and fix the reactor as it comes out. 19:24.671 --> 19:26.212 I've been poisoned! 19:26.392 --> 19:27.132 I'm dying! 19:28.112 --> 19:28.813 What a party! 19:28.833 --> 19:30.793 That's a brilliant idea for a party. 19:31.133 --> 19:31.733 DAS BOOT! 19:32.174 --> 19:33.034 Very good film as well. 19:33.054 --> 19:37.155 If you haven't seen DAS BOOT, maybe start with the theatrical version, but that's a classic. 19:37.835 --> 19:40.338 Um, here's a message right now from Billy in Glasgow. 19:40.559 --> 19:41.279 Hello Adam and Jo. 19:41.520 --> 19:44.123 I thought I'd share my amazing party idea from earlier this year. 19:44.523 --> 19:55.556 On the September the 9th of this year, brackets 999, my girlfriend and I decided we'd have an emergency themed party to celebrate this unique date. 19:55.976 --> 20:02.122 We made plans for emergency themed decorations and costumes and encouraged any party guests to dress appropriately. 20:02.483 --> 20:08.469 On the day of the party, I excitedly hurried to a joke shop for some props to enhance my amazing and unique idea. 20:08.849 --> 20:15.897 I was shocked and disappointed to find a queue leading out of the shop and down the street full of other people who quite obviously stole my idea! 20:16.457 --> 20:17.938 We had the party anyway, it was wicked. 20:18.259 --> 20:21.001 We've planned a few... Hang on a second, what? 20:21.041 --> 20:22.563 Other people had the same idea? 20:22.663 --> 20:24.344 Everyone was having an emergency party. 20:24.504 --> 20:24.985 Were they? 20:25.045 --> 20:26.126 Yeah, on 999. 20:26.666 --> 20:27.347 Well, you're not having one. 20:28.868 --> 20:29.969 I don't know, it's really? 20:30.329 --> 20:34.373 You didn't see the date, 999, and think, this is a good day for an emergency party! 20:34.393 --> 20:36.775 Come to my emergency party, pom pom! 20:36.895 --> 20:38.537 I feel like I'm in the minority though. 20:38.657 --> 20:38.877 Yeah. 20:39.217 --> 20:39.518 Did you? 20:40.098 --> 20:40.598 Sure I did. 20:40.718 --> 20:41.478 Sure you did. 20:41.579 --> 20:42.079 Everybody did. 20:42.099 --> 20:43.419 There were big queues outside. 20:43.439 --> 20:43.979 You know what I did? 20:44.019 --> 20:44.860 Outside what shops? 20:45.100 --> 20:52.242 I hurt myself so I could go to the hospital for an emergency party. 20:52.502 --> 20:53.302 They frowned on it. 20:53.762 --> 20:57.783 I was poo-pooed by the staff of the hospital and asked to go home. 20:58.204 --> 20:59.144 But still I had a go. 20:59.384 --> 21:02.185 He says also, we've planned a few years in advance too. 21:02.725 --> 21:05.566 On the 10th of the 10th of the 10th we're having a binary party. 21:05.586 --> 21:05.566 10101. 21:05.806 --> 21:07.226 That's more like it. 21:07.426 --> 21:09.487 Futuristic theme where everyone dresses as robots. 21:10.247 --> 21:17.229 On 11 11 11 we're having a prison party because the date looks like bars, all those ones. 21:18.809 --> 21:22.610 On the 12th of the 12th of the 12th we're all going to be roadies or something. 21:22.890 --> 21:25.351 I don't understand why he would be anyway. 21:25.411 --> 21:26.731 Thanks for that Billy and Glasgow. 21:27.091 --> 21:27.851 Do you want another one? 21:27.891 --> 21:28.171 Yeah. 21:29.072 --> 21:30.452 Okay then here is another one. 21:31.893 --> 21:50.092 uh okay there's a good one James McAnally when I was at university in Exeter I was lucky enough to be friends with one particular group who threw the most incredible parties once we were all told to come dressed for the beach we arrived to find a ton of sand covering their hall and kitchen floor what deck chairs spotlights so you could lounge and enjoy the sunshine and deck chairs 21:50.572 --> 21:55.276 In another room, they'd attached a tarpaul into the walls and created an indoor swimming pool. 21:55.316 --> 21:56.176 Shut your mouth. 21:56.296 --> 21:58.358 They had also built a water slide. 21:58.418 --> 22:03.702 The slide was covered in plastic sheeting and attached to a powerful pump to get that genuine water flow going. 22:03.882 --> 22:04.782 Hey, hey, hey. 22:05.563 --> 22:16.571 It was accessed via a step ladder and went from the first floor bedroom window out into the garden before banking round and coming back into the house through some French windows and into the pool. 22:16.991 --> 22:17.772 It was huge. 22:17.972 --> 22:19.593 That is just not true. 22:20.053 --> 22:21.374 Well, what is not true about it? 22:22.055 --> 22:23.276 All of it. 22:23.676 --> 22:24.416 It's fantasy. 22:24.456 --> 22:27.058 It's the kind of insane fantasy I used to have as a five-year-old. 22:27.078 --> 22:27.438 Students. 22:27.959 --> 22:28.619 They're students. 22:28.639 --> 22:30.000 Students do anything. 22:30.040 --> 22:30.380 Do they? 22:30.480 --> 22:31.061 They could do that. 22:31.081 --> 22:32.522 You could put a top all in up in a room. 22:32.562 --> 22:33.482 That's a good idea. 22:33.562 --> 22:34.403 Fasten it to the walls. 22:34.443 --> 22:35.184 Turn on the taps. 22:35.624 --> 22:36.705 Bish, bash, bash. 22:36.845 --> 22:37.905 24 hours later, big pull. 22:38.125 --> 22:40.767 Listen, every fibre of my being wants that to be true. 22:41.007 --> 22:43.329 But I just don't believe that it could be done. 22:43.549 --> 22:47.592 And imagine the cleaning up operation after that house would be totally trash. 22:48.112 --> 23:13.163 student house I'm too practical that's my problem you know what I'm not sure I believe that either James McAnally can that be true surely if they'd had a party like that there would be photographic evidence send us the photos McNally I want to see the proof otherwise you will forever be branded a liar because I by the castle yeah that would be frightful one time we had a party when I was at art school in Cheltenham in our subterranean flat and 23:14.623 --> 23:16.104 A food fight broke out? 23:16.124 --> 23:16.864 A food fight? 23:16.884 --> 23:18.685 A food fight! 23:18.765 --> 23:20.586 That's an 80s one here saying that. 23:21.586 --> 23:23.087 A food fight! 23:23.287 --> 23:24.187 I said it in the 80s. 23:24.928 --> 23:32.711 And there was a massive food fight and so all these cakes and cream cakes and stuff that some of the girls from the fashion department had brought round 23:33.311 --> 23:35.833 all started getting thrown and stuff and everyone was sliding around. 23:35.893 --> 23:40.257 I cranked up the music and it was like a scene from some kind of crazy frat movie. 23:40.737 --> 23:49.384 The next day the place stank of puke and all the kind of off cream and stuff on the walls. 23:49.424 --> 23:51.866 We were scraping that stuff off the walls for weeks. 23:52.066 --> 23:53.827 Scrubbing, scrubbing, scraping. 23:53.928 --> 23:54.488 It was stuff. 23:54.668 --> 23:55.849 And we were all hungover. 23:56.269 --> 23:57.931 It was the worst day of my life. 23:57.951 --> 23:59.252 Sounds like a wicked party. 23:59.412 --> 23:59.752 Yeah. 24:00.052 --> 24:03.135 But thank you to everybody who contributed to Retro Text the Nation. 24:03.195 --> 24:11.822 Don't forget, when we announce this week's Text the Nation subject, you too can partake during the week and your contribution might be read out next week on Retro Text the Nation. 24:11.862 --> 24:12.882 And if that makes sense... 24:13.743 --> 24:14.443 then good. 24:14.783 --> 24:16.864 Partake, partake, partake. 24:17.304 --> 24:18.464 Let's have a partake. 24:18.504 --> 24:19.925 That's the root of the word party. 24:20.085 --> 24:20.325 Yeah. 24:21.125 --> 24:22.345 But it's from the word partake. 24:22.365 --> 24:22.846 Partake. 24:23.086 --> 24:23.386 Yeah. 24:23.686 --> 24:24.546 Partake. 24:24.586 --> 24:25.706 Partake. 24:26.647 --> 24:27.707 Just the cah fell off. 24:28.447 --> 24:29.607 Here's depression mode. 24:29.627 --> 24:31.348 They're talking about fragile tension. 24:43.035 --> 24:46.416 That's Depresh Mode with their new one, Fragile Tension. 24:46.436 --> 24:49.838 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music. 24:50.338 --> 24:53.659 And don't forget we've started at an earlier time of 10am today, listeners. 24:54.120 --> 24:56.541 If you're confused or something feels a bit off, that's why. 24:56.701 --> 24:58.942 But it does mean we're going through till one in the afternoon. 24:59.002 --> 24:59.402 Yay! 24:59.482 --> 25:00.882 We're pushing through the noon barrier. 25:00.922 --> 25:02.983 Is that going to change the tone of the last hour? 25:03.043 --> 25:05.925 Are you allowed to say pushing through the noon barrier? 25:06.045 --> 25:08.826 You're allowed to say it, it's not allowed to do it. 25:09.406 --> 25:10.787 I'm not allowed to think about it. 25:11.547 --> 25:18.611 Listen, darling, did you just push through the noon barrier? 25:18.771 --> 25:20.192 You are disgusting. 25:20.392 --> 25:21.512 You disgust me. 25:21.532 --> 25:24.414 Are you going to be eating your lunch in the studio later on? 25:24.474 --> 25:27.836 Don't go from pushing through the noon barrier to eating lunch. 25:27.896 --> 25:29.717 What kind of a segue is that? 25:30.517 --> 25:31.678 I'm interested vaulting. 25:32.178 --> 25:34.899 What's the questions after you've pushed through the noon barrier? 25:34.959 --> 25:36.080 Well, I'd be having something to eat. 25:36.100 --> 25:36.980 Do you have your lunch? 25:38.161 --> 25:38.761 In some lunch. 25:39.101 --> 25:40.342 No, I ain't bought in no lunch. 25:40.602 --> 25:48.886 I got some I got some In future you should bring in Tupperware and stuff have yourself a little packed lunch. 25:49.266 --> 25:54.849 Should I do you think get out some Bakewell tarts and a little bit of there's someone at my work 25:55.109 --> 25:59.754 place who comes into the office every day with a Tupperware lunch. 26:00.395 --> 26:03.698 He's a very good chap, location manager called Josh. 26:04.138 --> 26:09.284 He separates his citrus fruits into separate compartments within the Tupperware box. 26:10.225 --> 26:11.926 So it's a triple compartmented box. 26:12.007 --> 26:15.170 It'll have grapes in one compartment, pineapple in another. 26:15.470 --> 26:15.730 Very nice. 26:15.750 --> 26:16.611 An orange and another. 26:17.051 --> 26:28.616 In the middle of a meeting he will quietly get this Tupperware pot out, place it on the table, open it and start picking with thumb and forefinger bits of fruit out of different compartments. 26:28.897 --> 26:29.877 I get very jealous. 26:30.217 --> 26:30.597 Do you? 26:31.058 --> 26:32.158 Does he never offer you any? 26:32.358 --> 26:37.101 He always, he sees me looking and then he always offers the fruit but I can't, I don't want to take his fruit. 26:37.121 --> 26:37.761 No, of course not. 26:37.981 --> 26:38.161 No. 26:38.241 --> 26:41.763 Has it occurred to you that maybe you could invest in some Tupperware and bring in your own fruit? 26:41.783 --> 26:43.363 Do you think it's important to separate the citrus fruits? 26:43.383 --> 26:43.803 Yes! 26:44.184 --> 26:44.704 So they don't? 26:44.744 --> 26:45.224 Yes! 26:45.784 --> 26:47.205 Otherwise you get a salad. 26:48.405 --> 26:49.706 What's wrong with a fruit salad? 26:49.726 --> 26:50.366 That's a different thing. 26:50.386 --> 26:51.807 Why is he so against a salad? 26:51.907 --> 26:52.967 Because he doesn't want a salad. 26:52.987 --> 26:55.348 Why does he want fruit separation in that way? 26:55.548 --> 27:02.591 He wants to enjoy the uni-organised flavour of each of the fruits without it being looted by some other fruit. 27:03.171 --> 27:05.032 He doesn't want fruit bleed. 27:05.212 --> 27:06.493 That's not what the scheme is. 27:06.513 --> 27:09.415 He wants an individual fruit experience. 27:09.435 --> 27:09.855 Clearly. 27:10.356 --> 27:13.158 But I can just see it in his eye. 27:13.318 --> 27:13.538 Yeah. 27:14.138 --> 27:15.759 I mean, it makes him a different kind of man. 27:15.779 --> 27:16.280 I like him. 27:16.320 --> 27:18.181 The fruit is compartmentalised, don't you think? 27:18.681 --> 27:19.422 I like him as well. 27:19.662 --> 27:20.302 I really like him. 27:20.402 --> 27:21.383 Drives like a maniac. 27:21.583 --> 27:21.903 Does he? 27:22.103 --> 27:22.744 He does, yeah. 27:23.084 --> 27:25.845 You are a bit of an old woman in a car, though, when other people are driving. 27:26.005 --> 27:27.405 Well, you're getting Josh's car. 27:28.065 --> 27:30.726 Have you ever driven with our friend Danny? 27:31.266 --> 27:31.806 Yeah, I have. 27:31.906 --> 27:33.767 He multitasks while he's driving. 27:34.087 --> 27:34.947 He's terrifying. 27:35.927 --> 27:38.548 Anyway, yeah, this is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music. 27:38.588 --> 27:39.548 It's time for a free play. 27:39.588 --> 27:41.989 This is a hip-hop band from the past. 27:42.069 --> 27:45.010 This is from an album called Bizarre Ride to the Far Side released in 1992. 27:45.770 --> 27:48.010 This is The Far Side with the Pass and Me By. 27:49.231 --> 27:50.171 Six Music. 27:51.281 --> 27:56.522 Later today, songs with girls shouting with Jimmy Wingwong. 27:57.442 --> 28:01.163 Then at midnight, DJ Scratch Max. 28:01.343 --> 28:05.004 Scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch. 28:05.284 --> 28:08.945 But now, oh, it's Adam and Jo. 28:12.666 --> 28:14.466 We've run out of honey. 28:15.310 --> 28:17.511 Lovely Sarah Cracknell there with Saint Etienne. 28:17.791 --> 28:20.252 You're in a bad way, that was. 28:20.272 --> 28:22.853 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music. 28:23.254 --> 28:29.796 We were talking about tummy rumbles and stomach noises either last week or the week before. 28:30.757 --> 28:35.259 And we were complaining about the fact that we never have the presence of mind to record them. 28:35.759 --> 28:37.460 You know, obviously it's difficult to do so. 28:37.480 --> 28:38.340 What are you chuckling about? 28:38.400 --> 28:41.462 Just that being something to complain about. 28:41.522 --> 28:41.842 Yeah. 28:42.823 --> 28:46.445 Why do I never have the presence of mind to record my tummy noises? 28:46.465 --> 28:48.066 That's the kind of thing I worry about. 28:48.527 --> 28:50.828 I lie awake at night thinking about that kind of stuff. 28:51.249 --> 28:52.970 If only I could record my tummy rumbles. 28:52.990 --> 28:54.251 I'd be somebody. 28:54.271 --> 28:56.172 I'd get somewhere. 28:56.212 --> 28:59.475 My life would come together instead of just being a little fat hairy loser man. 28:59.975 --> 29:05.639 But here is a message right now from someone who is a success in their life and it's Nathan. 29:08.261 --> 29:09.963 He says, Hi Adam and Joseph. 29:10.603 --> 29:18.909 About a year ago, me and my friends put together a CD of found sounds and field recordings called Happened Upon with a Microphone. 29:19.910 --> 29:28.976 For about four days in a row, my wife's stomach had been making these crazy noises every morning in bed when we woke up and I just had to record it for the CD. 29:29.537 --> 29:33.540 Also recorded is us laughing our heads off as we did on each of these mornings 29:33.920 --> 29:35.921 whilst mesmerised by the sounds. 29:36.241 --> 29:39.542 It's very heartwarming and tender for me to listen back to it," he says. 29:39.742 --> 29:40.463 I hope you like it, too. 29:40.503 --> 29:41.303 Listen, listen, listen. 29:41.383 --> 29:43.484 I tried to listen to these last night. 29:43.584 --> 29:47.065 I didn't get more than three or four seconds into it before I had to switch it off. 29:47.085 --> 29:53.608 He sent us a very long section of rumbling that sounded almost like digital interference. 29:54.448 --> 29:55.869 But it's a very intimate noise. 29:56.149 --> 29:56.549 It really is. 29:56.569 --> 29:58.451 I mean, it sounds like it was too intimate for me. 29:58.531 --> 29:58.811 Sure. 29:59.172 --> 30:01.914 He's obviously got the mic right there on his wife's belly. 30:01.974 --> 30:04.116 It's almost like an ultrasound. 30:04.156 --> 30:07.078 I mean, it's well through the noon barrier and out the other side. 30:07.679 --> 30:08.439 Have a listen, though. 30:08.499 --> 30:09.640 I think it is heartwarming. 30:09.680 --> 30:10.321 I've clipped it. 30:10.381 --> 30:11.822 So it's just a little bit of this. 30:12.523 --> 30:14.825 He says, PS, there's no copyright or anything on this. 30:15.065 --> 30:16.326 It's free to use anywhere. 30:16.346 --> 30:18.728 You know, listeners are already revolted by boggins. 30:19.048 --> 30:19.348 Come on. 30:19.368 --> 30:20.149 This is not a revolt. 30:20.169 --> 30:20.870 Just give it a listen. 30:20.890 --> 30:21.170 Go on. 30:21.450 --> 30:22.411 And don't take your headphones off. 30:25.553 --> 30:27.104 Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 30:42.378 --> 31:05.781 that's sweet with the with the with the lady voice yeah that's good they're quite modest aren't they yeah thank you Nathan Angela that was Angela's stomach there that must be nice to have your stomach on the radio know what I think I mean there's been changes at six music recently new presenters what about having Angela's stomach do a show 31:06.081 --> 31:10.424 Yes, before George Lamb or during George Lamb. 31:10.444 --> 31:12.105 Maybe over some of George Lamb's. 31:13.506 --> 31:14.847 Right, let's get Angela's stomach in. 31:14.887 --> 31:17.389 Come on Angela's stomach. 31:17.710 --> 31:19.151 Angela's stomach jingle, bing bong. 31:19.211 --> 31:25.255 Give it a bing bong for Angela's stomach, come on. 31:25.455 --> 31:26.036 And then a record. 31:29.318 --> 31:29.938 That would be nice. 31:30.259 --> 31:36.923 What kind of, she could play records like obscure electronica and stuff on the warp label and things, squelches and boops. 31:37.043 --> 31:38.124 Exactly, you wouldn't be able to tell. 31:38.144 --> 31:38.764 That's a good idea. 31:38.804 --> 31:40.125 We should really be running this station. 31:40.586 --> 31:40.866 Shouldn't we? 31:40.886 --> 31:41.626 Into the ground. 31:41.686 --> 31:42.267 Exactly. 31:42.507 --> 31:44.348 Hey, thank you so much, Nathan and Angela. 31:44.628 --> 31:47.671 What is it, incidentally, from a medical point of view that causes those sounds? 31:47.771 --> 31:47.991 Food. 31:48.451 --> 31:53.275 It's food, but gases and things pipping and popping inside your intestines. 31:53.295 --> 31:57.077 From a medical point of view, that is exactly what's causing it, Dr. Buckles. 31:57.257 --> 31:57.518 Yeah. 31:58.378 --> 32:00.420 The pipping and popping of the squirtles. 32:00.440 --> 32:01.000 Yeah, well done. 32:01.040 --> 32:02.581 You remembered all your medical training. 32:02.821 --> 32:03.362 Squirtles. 32:03.422 --> 32:04.403 All your terminology. 32:04.483 --> 32:04.763 Thank you! 32:06.278 --> 32:07.799 Thanks to Nathan and Angela once again. 32:07.819 --> 32:09.579 Hey, it's nearly Christmas time. 32:09.599 --> 32:11.860 I don't know if you're new folks, but it's coming up round the corner. 32:11.880 --> 32:16.461 It's a time of year where there's a great deal of peace and happiness and goodwill to all men. 32:16.501 --> 32:20.342 If you're involved with a war, you have to put your guns down and play football. 32:20.803 --> 32:25.104 If you're a nasty person, you have to learn some kind of lesson and change your ways. 32:25.724 --> 32:31.326 And you have to give everybody exactly what they want, present-wise, especially children who've been watching commercials all year. 32:32.086 --> 32:43.340 You know have a long list of things they want you have to give it all them Otherwise you're gonna be in trouble and Julian Casablanca's from the strokes has celebrated all this by Issuing this single which is called. 32:43.480 --> 32:45.183 I wish it was Christmas today 32:46.434 --> 32:54.024 I mean, he seems upbeat about Christmas, but I just don't believe that Julian Casablancas would generally... He's very cynical and cool, isn't he? 32:54.064 --> 32:57.088 He's not going to want, like, manufactured celebrations. 32:57.889 --> 32:58.991 He's probably going to do something. 32:59.251 --> 33:01.955 His Christmas tree's probably upside down and in the loom. 33:03.416 --> 33:09.079 You know, he would sit there with his tatty sneakers on Santa's face, is what he'd do. 33:09.279 --> 33:10.480 Yeah, because he's got no respect. 33:10.520 --> 33:11.340 Because he's got no respect. 33:11.380 --> 33:11.920 Exactly. 33:13.261 --> 33:14.742 You got me a carton of cigarettes? 33:15.282 --> 33:15.702 Great. 33:15.862 --> 33:16.723 That's what I wanted. 33:16.743 --> 33:18.424 I'm going to smoke them in your face. 33:19.364 --> 33:20.285 Happy Christmas. 33:20.305 --> 33:20.945 Disgusting. 33:20.985 --> 33:21.565 You suck. 33:22.046 --> 33:22.746 It's disgusting. 33:22.766 --> 33:24.447 That's the kind of Christmas he's going to be having. 33:25.047 --> 33:26.348 Is he saying you suck? 33:26.488 --> 33:30.290 Is he saying to Santa you... Santa is a suck. 33:30.550 --> 33:31.030 Exactly. 33:31.531 --> 33:33.452 As opposed to you suck, you suck. 33:33.712 --> 33:34.832 Yeah, he's using it as a noun. 33:34.872 --> 33:38.314 That's how little he cares and how little respect he has for Santa. 33:38.334 --> 33:40.335 He shouldn't be played on the radio, really, should he? 33:40.355 --> 33:45.358 Because he's really subversive and lazy and rude and casual. 33:45.458 --> 33:47.219 All that whole thing is just totally ironical. 33:47.479 --> 33:48.699 I wish it was Christmas today. 33:48.719 --> 33:49.720 It's not! 33:50.020 --> 33:50.900 You suck! 33:51.400 --> 33:52.741 I'm gonna smoke in your face. 33:52.761 --> 33:56.082 That's why he's gonna- He shouldn't be allowed anyway in the end, Christmas. 33:56.102 --> 33:56.883 Can you smell my sneakers? 33:56.903 --> 33:58.403 Can you smell my tatty sneakers? 33:58.523 --> 33:58.883 Good! 33:59.984 --> 34:04.766 Because they're tatty and I've been wandering around with them for weeks and I can't be bothered to change them. 34:04.806 --> 34:06.546 I'm not even wearing underwear. 34:06.586 --> 34:07.027 He's wicked. 34:07.767 --> 34:08.107 You know? 34:08.587 --> 34:10.308 And look, my shirt is untucked. 34:10.528 --> 34:12.769 What are you gonna do about it, you old man? 34:14.423 --> 34:15.504 My hair is dirty. 34:15.884 --> 34:16.465 I like it. 34:16.705 --> 34:18.386 I've got spots and pimples. 34:18.707 --> 34:19.347 Deal with it. 34:19.848 --> 34:21.769 I'm going to smoke another cigarette in your face. 34:23.070 --> 34:25.292 Well, I'm glad he's not coming round to my house for Christmas. 34:26.213 --> 34:28.114 That's a part of the course at the Buckles house. 34:28.395 --> 34:28.675 Is it? 34:28.735 --> 34:28.955 Yeah. 34:28.975 --> 34:30.116 Casablanca coming round. 34:30.236 --> 34:30.857 Casablanca. 34:30.917 --> 34:32.438 Everyone behaves like that at the Buckles house. 34:32.518 --> 34:33.519 I call him Casablanca. 34:35.600 --> 34:37.781 I've got a free play for you right now, ladies and gentlemen. 34:38.222 --> 34:39.622 This is a Chanteuse. 34:39.662 --> 34:41.943 Do you like the Chanteuse? 34:42.164 --> 34:49.907 You know, I feel as if I don't play enough music by talented women on this show, because I tend to end up with indie pop by white males. 34:50.548 --> 34:51.808 That's just where I gravitate. 34:52.149 --> 34:59.372 So I'm trying to spread my legs and play a track by a lady called Mara Carlyle. 34:59.472 --> 35:02.694 She's like a little kind of Chanteuse pixie and she plays 35:03.414 --> 35:04.275 The ukulele. 35:05.156 --> 35:07.259 It's all sounding terribly promising. 35:07.299 --> 35:13.545 You're going to open your legs and attempt to play a song by a tiny pixie. 35:13.846 --> 35:14.627 Yeah, with a ukulele. 35:14.667 --> 35:15.588 With a ukulele. 35:16.388 --> 35:16.709 You ready? 35:16.729 --> 35:22.135 This is going to be a sexy few minutes and smoother than this programme might normally be. 35:22.155 --> 35:23.076 You know what I'm saying? 35:23.516 --> 35:40.782 So imagine you're in a dimly lit lounge with some kind of a cocktail, a fruity cocktail, and you've spread your legs and you've got your ukulele, Tim Allen's in the room, and here's Mara Carlisle. 35:40.822 --> 35:43.223 This is called Away With These Self-Loving Lads. 35:44.543 --> 35:47.384 versus Simeon with We Are Your Friends. 35:47.844 --> 36:04.808 I was in the supermarket earlier this week, Joe, and doing a little bit of shopping, and I decided in a sudden whirlwind of craziness to nip next door and go to the electronics shop and buy myself a Blu-ray player. 36:04.908 --> 36:05.568 You fool. 36:05.628 --> 36:07.489 Because I want to get with the Blu-ray, right? 36:07.509 --> 36:09.749 Because DVDs, they're going to be extinct in when? 36:09.789 --> 36:12.590 When do you think they're going to stop making the DVD players there next week? 36:12.970 --> 36:14.091 Yeah, a couple of weeks ago. 36:15.052 --> 36:17.113 You know, those things are almost totally extinct. 36:17.193 --> 36:21.736 The nice thing about the Blu-ray player is that you'll be able to play your DVDs on them, right? 36:22.217 --> 36:22.617 Correct. 36:23.237 --> 36:28.841 And it'll scale it up to faux HD or whatever it is. 36:29.502 --> 36:31.283 So it's win-win with the Blu-ray. 36:31.703 --> 36:33.224 Yeah, there's no downside to it, is there? 36:33.344 --> 36:34.005 There is, yeah. 36:34.325 --> 36:35.086 It's region-locked. 36:35.506 --> 36:36.386 Region-locked? 36:36.426 --> 36:36.607 Yeah. 36:37.547 --> 36:48.073 So if you were a movie buff of Worth Your Salt, you would have had a multi-region DVD player and you could have had fun importing DVDs from all over the world, broadened your cinematic horizons. 36:49.713 --> 36:54.816 The people at Sony who invented Blu-ray decided to put a stop to that. 36:55.076 --> 36:55.997 Oh, not again. 36:56.037 --> 36:57.538 They do this every single time. 36:57.718 --> 37:00.079 But luckily you can get the machines hacked. 37:00.479 --> 37:03.061 Yeah, of course, it was the same with DVD players when they came out. 37:03.081 --> 37:07.083 But they're much slower, they've kind of figured it out, so it's harder to hack. 37:07.523 --> 37:08.204 But I've got one. 37:08.484 --> 37:09.004 Gene Hackman. 37:09.264 --> 37:09.845 Did he sort it out for you? 37:09.865 --> 37:10.585 I've got Gene Hackman, yeah. 37:10.785 --> 37:11.346 Well done. 37:11.486 --> 37:12.426 Went round to the hackles. 37:12.687 --> 37:13.007 Yeah. 37:13.327 --> 37:14.688 And now it's braille skills. 37:14.708 --> 37:17.109 You can go anywhere in the world and buy the high-def fun. 37:17.129 --> 37:18.270 I forgot about the holes. 37:18.710 --> 37:36.620 So just come to uncle Jojo have you you've already bought the thing already bought it wanted to tell you about my experience of buying Okay Let's hear it because I haven't been and bought like I haven't spent a lot of money on a bit of hardware for a while And I went in there to the shop and usually I know if I'm gonna buy some chain stores This was an independent electronics retailer. 37:36.660 --> 37:37.821 No, this is a chain store, right? 37:38.061 --> 37:45.249 So I go in there, there's a little chap with a trendy haircut, and he's a skinny little fella, and he's slightly spotty, but he's sparkly, he's on his game. 37:45.289 --> 37:46.049 Yes, he certainly is. 37:46.089 --> 37:46.990 He's a salesman. 37:47.030 --> 37:48.532 He gets a percentage. 37:49.133 --> 37:50.674 You know he's got to get his targets. 37:50.874 --> 37:53.858 He wasn't clueless, he wasn't one of those guys who'd go into the shop and go, 37:54.542 --> 37:56.163 Yeah, you could get that one. 37:58.344 --> 37:59.125 I like that guy. 37:59.145 --> 38:00.866 Yeah, I think that's a good one. 38:01.306 --> 38:01.706 Yeah. 38:01.946 --> 38:03.407 Do you have you got a plug? 38:04.167 --> 38:05.328 That would be a good one. 38:05.728 --> 38:06.429 It wasn't like that. 38:06.509 --> 38:06.769 No. 38:06.869 --> 38:09.550 He was most sparky and he was like, he was a good salesman. 38:09.570 --> 38:10.771 He has a little white shirt on there. 38:10.791 --> 38:12.032 His pens in the pocket there. 38:12.332 --> 38:15.714 He's got his little earring in there and he's going to sell me whatever he wants to sell me. 38:16.375 --> 38:17.857 After a Blu-ray play, okay, okay, yeah. 38:18.257 --> 38:19.499 Come over here, have a look at this one. 38:19.699 --> 38:20.460 This is a really good one. 38:20.480 --> 38:22.462 Top of the line, if I was going to buy this, this is the one I'd buy. 38:22.843 --> 38:24.625 So immediately I'm thinking, I want to buy it. 38:25.005 --> 38:25.947 That's the one I want to buy. 38:26.187 --> 38:29.531 If it's top of the line, if it's the one that he would want to buy, I'm going to buy it. 38:29.691 --> 38:31.393 So it's like, yeah, okay, I'm interested in that one. 38:32.274 --> 38:34.715 And so, bang, I'm in there already. 38:34.855 --> 38:35.595 So he goes, OK. 38:35.855 --> 38:39.836 And he's obviously thinking to himself, cool, I've got what they call a lay down here. 38:39.896 --> 38:44.197 I think in Salesman Speak, a lay down is someone who's just going to come in and do whatever you need to do. 38:44.237 --> 38:44.917 How do you know that? 38:44.997 --> 38:46.497 Have you been watching Glengarry Glen Rush? 38:46.537 --> 38:48.358 No, I've been reading Malcolm Gladwell books. 38:48.518 --> 38:48.918 Oh, God. 38:49.778 --> 38:51.258 What is it with you and Malcolm Gladwell? 38:51.578 --> 38:52.078 He's brilliant. 38:52.418 --> 38:57.720 Anyway, he talks about lay downs and salesmen know that when they've got a sucker coming in, it's party time. 38:58.040 --> 38:59.460 So I think he saw Buckles coming. 39:00.200 --> 39:02.342 But so far he hasn't pulled any wool over your eyes. 39:02.382 --> 39:04.904 He's selling you a perfectly reasonable... It's a good machine. 39:05.304 --> 39:07.086 I've got Freesat on there and everything. 39:07.106 --> 39:08.707 I'm excited about the Freesat. 39:10.929 --> 39:11.890 Hard disk recorder? 39:12.010 --> 39:13.251 Hard disk recorder, yeah. 39:13.431 --> 39:14.251 I know the very model. 39:14.892 --> 39:15.773 The whole nine yards. 39:15.893 --> 39:16.954 I'm really excited about it. 39:17.074 --> 39:19.035 I'm really excited about recording things in HD. 39:19.276 --> 39:19.716 Can't wait. 39:20.396 --> 39:22.218 So then after that's all done and dusted. 39:22.578 --> 39:25.541 Then he starts going on about all the other things that I could be buying. 39:26.161 --> 39:28.882 And the first one of which is the HDMI cable. 39:29.122 --> 39:30.122 Yes, you need one of those. 39:30.162 --> 39:30.862 They're expensive. 39:30.962 --> 39:32.523 They are expensive, yo. 39:32.543 --> 39:34.363 Well, you should get one with the machine, actually. 39:34.383 --> 39:35.783 It should be supplied with the machine. 39:35.903 --> 39:37.344 Didn't get one with the machine. 39:37.384 --> 39:38.244 Should have got one with the machine. 39:38.264 --> 39:39.884 So you're going to need an HDMI cable. 39:39.924 --> 39:40.705 Right, so come over here. 39:40.745 --> 39:41.885 Have a look at these HDMI cables. 39:42.005 --> 39:43.405 You've got three basic cables that we sell. 39:43.725 --> 39:47.726 We've got the good one, the better one, and the very good one. 39:48.286 --> 39:51.607 So most people would go for the very good one, of course. 39:52.027 --> 39:53.528 So the good one starts at 50 pounds. 39:54.928 --> 40:20.768 50 pounds for the cable the very good one 75 quid the really good one that everyone should get a hundred pounds He said it's already a hundred quid extra on the stuff And I'm thinking and he's go the very good one has a gold wire running down the middle which conducts the picture and Transverse the golden picture the very good one has a bronze wire I think it was that the good one is 40:21.628 --> 40:39.733 doesn't have a wire there's no wire it's just hollow the picture just trickles through and you know it's probably by that one no by the bad one i wouldn't want to buy the compromise by the middling one what kind of jerk of course i should have bought the middling one because can you imagine the difference in by the joke i bought the good course you bought the 40:40.494 --> 40:43.357 I wanted to show him that I was the kind of guy who would buy a really good HDMI cable. 40:43.377 --> 40:44.678 I wanted to impress him. 40:44.958 --> 40:48.342 So after that, he's chuckling to himself, thinking, it's Mr. Laydown. 40:48.502 --> 40:54.308 I'm going to sell him some stuff that he really doesn't need because he's a jerk and I can sell him things because he's a moron. 40:54.749 --> 40:56.751 So he goes, OK, search protection. 40:58.914 --> 41:01.876 So he comes out, there's a whole section with surge protectors. 41:01.996 --> 41:03.137 Do you know what a surge protector is? 41:03.937 --> 41:04.278 Yeah. 41:04.378 --> 41:06.779 It looks like a big plug gang. 41:06.859 --> 41:07.540 You know what I'm saying? 41:07.560 --> 41:08.580 Like an adapter thing. 41:08.780 --> 41:09.761 They're all different colors. 41:09.781 --> 41:11.082 They've got switches all over them. 41:11.122 --> 41:12.343 They've got little BNC cables. 41:12.363 --> 41:12.643 Don't need it. 41:12.663 --> 41:13.003 Don't need it. 41:13.023 --> 41:13.363 Don't need it. 41:13.403 --> 41:14.064 You didn't buy it, did you? 41:14.084 --> 41:15.265 It's not according to this guy. 41:16.065 --> 41:19.986 Now, and so I said to him, at this point, I'm chuckling and I'm like saying, surge protectors. 41:20.046 --> 41:20.486 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 41:20.506 --> 41:21.926 They're all about 150 quid. 41:22.347 --> 41:24.307 He's saying, yeah, you really need a surge protector. 41:24.327 --> 41:25.167 I was like, do I? 41:25.187 --> 41:33.329 He said, yeah, especially around this part of the world, East Anglia, a lot of lightning storms, you get a lightning, hits the house, comes down, surge, blow up everything. 41:33.449 --> 41:40.051 Every bit of electrical equipment you've got, blow up your modem, blow up your computer, bloody, you know, if you've got an Xbox, that kind of thing, terrifying scenario. 41:40.071 --> 41:40.911 They're all going to blow up. 41:41.331 --> 41:41.871 And that'll be it. 41:41.891 --> 41:42.691 This is fear mongering. 41:43.131 --> 41:43.911 And I said, really? 41:44.152 --> 41:47.652 At this point, I think, I'm not going to lay down for the for the surge protector. 41:48.132 --> 41:57.734 So I said, I just said to him directly, really, do you actually know anyone who has needed a surge protector or they've had their equipment blown up by tables turned? 41:57.894 --> 42:01.074 And at that point, he looked rattled for the first time. 42:01.295 --> 42:04.235 There was a twitch in his face and he looked down, right? 42:04.895 --> 42:09.316 And he did the tell of looking down and he said, yeah, yeah. 42:09.716 --> 42:11.318 He said, you've been watching the real hustle. 42:11.599 --> 42:12.400 I've watched all the stuff. 42:12.440 --> 42:13.201 I know all the lingo. 42:13.782 --> 42:15.084 He said, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 42:15.144 --> 42:16.265 No, it happened to a mate of mine. 42:16.846 --> 42:18.268 House was hit by lightning, lost all his stuff. 42:18.288 --> 42:20.512 But he looked down because his friend was probably killed. 42:21.213 --> 42:22.815 And you've been very insensitive. 42:22.975 --> 42:23.175 Right. 42:23.215 --> 42:25.358 And if the friend had had a surge protector. 42:25.839 --> 42:27.399 He wouldn't have been killed by Serge. 42:27.720 --> 42:34.542 Now Serge has come into his house and beaten him to death and then sung something in French, meddled with his daughter and left. 42:34.642 --> 42:34.902 Yeah. 42:35.062 --> 42:38.703 In fact, his gravestone is probably shaped like a huge Serge protector. 42:39.043 --> 42:41.644 And I'm poo-pooing the protection that he's offering me. 42:42.244 --> 42:44.925 But I didn't go for the Serge protector. 42:44.985 --> 42:46.825 I felt that was one step too far. 42:46.845 --> 42:48.066 But I'd like to hear from many listeners. 42:48.086 --> 42:49.066 You're living on a knife edge. 42:49.086 --> 42:49.786 Well, exactly. 42:49.946 --> 42:52.127 Your house is on fire probably as we speak. 42:52.147 --> 42:52.947 I've got a family. 42:52.987 --> 42:54.348 Am I being totally irresponsible? 42:54.368 --> 42:55.408 I can't believe it. 42:55.828 --> 42:59.190 I want to hear from any listeners who know if I've made a terrible mistake. 42:59.670 --> 43:00.431 So there you go. 43:00.471 --> 43:01.391 Watch out for the surges. 43:01.531 --> 43:03.413 Here's Joy Division with Shadow Play. 43:04.753 --> 43:07.675 It says HDMI cables, 8 quid from Tesco. 43:09.216 --> 43:12.418 Jeff in Sheffield says, most Blu-rays are region free. 43:12.558 --> 43:13.779 Well, I can test that, Jeff. 43:13.799 --> 43:19.042 For instance, the criterion Blu-ray American editions aren't region free, they're region locked. 43:19.382 --> 43:24.345 If you want to be confident that you can buy any Blu-ray anywhere in the world, you need a multi-region Jeff versus Joe. 43:25.065 --> 43:26.487 I've spent about £50m on blu-rays in the last year. 43:26.507 --> 43:27.948 Sam Innocence says, I read Holmes Cinema Choice magazine. 43:51.249 --> 44:08.340 very nice badly drawn boy there with you all right what i was gonna do the announcing of the song for you because you looked a little confused with your paperwork i was just checking my paperwork it seems to be in order uh that was from badly drawn boy's 2002 album have you fed the fish did you ever have fish 44:09.335 --> 44:11.276 You're more of a cat man. 44:11.516 --> 44:13.236 I did have fish briefly. 44:13.756 --> 44:14.977 They have a habit of dying. 44:15.077 --> 44:16.217 They do, they love to die. 44:16.277 --> 44:20.478 And then the worst thing is when one dies, its body decomposes. 44:20.599 --> 44:25.200 The other one sort of breathes its decomposed body in and then it dies too. 44:25.220 --> 44:26.900 It's a hellish life really though, isn't it? 44:27.041 --> 44:27.621 To be a fish. 44:27.641 --> 44:28.701 Why would you want to be a fish? 44:28.801 --> 44:31.782 Well in a tank, I think in the real world it would be super fun. 44:31.882 --> 44:33.302 You've got your five minute memory there. 44:33.343 --> 44:34.683 Have you not seen Finding Nemo? 44:34.983 --> 44:55.823 I have that's what it is great socially it's great there's a great social scene they have schools of course but they only have the one character there dory who has the limited memory limited memory but she's brills i think most fish are limited in the memory department well i wouldn't make a blanket generalization like that otherwise you might uh incur the wrath of the geniuses fish groups exactly fish protest schools 44:59.650 --> 45:00.711 Boo! 45:01.072 --> 45:01.432 Yes! 45:02.253 --> 45:03.034 Bash! 45:03.814 --> 45:04.395 Wonky! 45:04.915 --> 45:07.538 So, listeners, now it's time for Text the Nation, is it? 45:07.578 --> 45:08.159 Let's try it. 45:08.179 --> 45:08.940 Let's have a jingle. 45:11.042 --> 45:11.783 Text the Nation! 45:11.903 --> 45:12.563 Text! 45:12.623 --> 45:13.004 Text! 45:13.084 --> 45:13.805 Text the Nation! 45:13.885 --> 45:14.806 What if I don't want to? 45:14.826 --> 45:15.827 Text the Nation! 45:15.927 --> 45:16.908 But I'm using email. 45:17.108 --> 45:17.809 Is that a problem? 45:17.849 --> 45:18.429 It doesn't matter. 45:18.469 --> 45:18.690 Text! 45:21.550 --> 45:31.856 Text-to-Nation this week, listeners, this is what Joe usually says, is all about things that you have been getting wrong for years and only just realized. 45:32.257 --> 45:34.018 Here's a couple of brief examples. 45:34.038 --> 45:38.781 We're going to keep this set up very short because we want to hear your ideas for Text-to-Nation. 45:39.561 --> 45:48.547 For example, I only just realized this week that I've been misspelling Realize for a very long time. 45:49.227 --> 45:53.248 And it's confusing for me because... Is it an S or a Z thing? 45:54.389 --> 45:54.949 That's true. 45:55.269 --> 46:01.231 Computers try and make... Microsoft Word tries to make you put a Z in all of those words. 46:01.411 --> 46:04.032 And you've got the keyboard set to UK spelling. 46:04.072 --> 46:05.832 Rationalise, it's always Z, isn't it? 46:05.852 --> 46:07.653 Who wants to stick the Z in there? 46:07.933 --> 46:08.453 Why is that? 46:09.443 --> 46:10.284 It's a disgrace! 46:10.684 --> 46:21.253 So it totally polluted my mind for years, pretty much ever since I started using a PC, you know, started thinking, oh dear, I thought it was an S and apparently it is a Z, because there is a red underline, I must correct it. 46:21.633 --> 46:31.502 So now I'm Johnny American spelling of Realize and loads of other things with a S sound that, with a Z sound that should be an S. I spoke to my wife the other day and I said like, 46:32.122 --> 46:33.944 Is it S or a Z with real eyes? 46:33.964 --> 46:35.246 She said, yeah, S, obviously. 46:35.826 --> 46:37.168 And then I went through a whole load of other words. 46:37.188 --> 46:40.732 She said, yeah, S, S, S. I've been getting Z's everywhere. 46:40.772 --> 46:41.773 Just random Z guy. 46:42.253 --> 46:44.236 The other thing was, and this is quite embarrassing. 46:44.676 --> 46:45.197 Thank you. 46:45.217 --> 46:46.979 I always thought was one word. 46:48.542 --> 46:51.325 Well, yeah, I think that's a movable feast. 46:51.626 --> 46:52.126 You reckon? 46:52.767 --> 46:54.369 I mean, officially it's two, isn't it? 46:54.549 --> 46:56.131 Not according to the people I've spoken to. 46:56.171 --> 46:57.713 They said that's not a movable feast. 46:57.773 --> 47:00.737 It's two words, you dork, is what I got. 47:00.817 --> 47:01.738 Who said that to you? 47:01.858 --> 47:02.078 Wife. 47:02.679 --> 47:03.040 Wife? 47:05.242 --> 47:05.803 She laughed. 47:06.384 --> 47:07.445 She laughed at me for a while. 47:07.645 --> 47:07.965 Thank you. 47:08.346 --> 47:08.986 That's one word. 47:09.727 --> 47:10.127 Thank you. 47:10.207 --> 47:11.268 That's what I think, exactly. 47:11.769 --> 47:12.269 Thank you. 47:12.469 --> 47:13.170 That's two words. 47:13.210 --> 47:13.930 Thank you. 47:14.151 --> 47:14.851 That's two words. 47:14.911 --> 47:15.512 Thank you. 47:15.912 --> 47:16.633 Thank you. 47:16.853 --> 47:18.014 I would like to thank you. 47:18.114 --> 47:18.554 Thank you. 47:18.915 --> 47:19.255 Thanks. 47:19.996 --> 47:21.117 Thanks is obviously one word. 47:21.497 --> 47:21.857 Thank you. 47:22.118 --> 47:22.978 That's one word. 47:23.038 --> 47:24.339 To me, that sounds like one word. 47:25.000 --> 47:25.721 But no, it's two. 47:26.021 --> 47:27.142 Not even hyphenated. 47:27.642 --> 47:29.183 Like I was thinking maybe it was hyphenated? 47:29.483 --> 47:29.643 No. 47:29.964 --> 47:30.564 It's two words. 47:31.044 --> 47:32.505 So that's quite ignorant, isn't it, listeners? 47:32.806 --> 47:35.928 But I've been getting that wrong for a very, very long time. 47:35.968 --> 47:39.831 And I'd be curious to know if I'm the only moron involved with this program. 47:40.271 --> 47:45.793 I want to hear from you out there about things, and it doesn't have to be like grammatical errors and spelling errors. 47:46.093 --> 47:50.934 I'd like to hear about just any kind of misconception you've had in your life that has only recently been corrected, okay? 47:51.354 --> 47:57.296 That is Texternation this week, and I would like to announce that as the fastest Texternation setup ever in the history of this program. 47:57.376 --> 47:58.356 Do you think that is? 47:58.556 --> 47:59.316 That's exciting. 47:59.816 --> 48:01.457 It's a record breaker! 48:01.477 --> 48:03.157 Where's Norris McWhirter when you need him? 48:03.177 --> 48:04.157 I'm afraid he passed away. 48:04.378 --> 48:05.958 Here's Doves with House of Mirrors. 48:10.761 --> 48:11.782 That's House of Mirrors. 48:11.962 --> 48:15.624 I forgot to say, of course, I was so excited about the short text of the nation setup. 48:15.664 --> 48:22.628 I didn't actually give out the email address or the text number for your submissions. 48:23.049 --> 48:24.429 64046 is the text number. 48:24.650 --> 48:30.473 The email address is adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 48:30.593 --> 48:33.375 If you're listening throughout the week on Listen Again or whatever, 48:33.855 --> 48:42.440 then emails only please if you're responding for retro textination about things that you have got wrong all your life and only recently found out about. 48:42.460 --> 48:49.765 Shablamidi, shablamida, shablamidi, shablamida, shablamidi, shablamida. 48:49.805 --> 48:51.166 Do you know what that is? 48:51.326 --> 48:51.806 Sure I do. 48:51.906 --> 48:52.246 What is it? 48:52.586 --> 48:56.009 That is Brian Eno, one of Brian Eno's favourite songs. 48:56.729 --> 48:59.811 He loves the production on a little bit of Donna Summer, right? 49:00.331 --> 49:00.971 Right, exactly. 49:00.991 --> 49:01.752 State of Independence. 49:01.932 --> 49:02.792 Yeah, here's a free play. 49:02.832 --> 49:04.553 This is Donna Summer with State of Independence. 49:04.593 --> 49:05.053 I love this. 49:06.334 --> 49:06.874 The Caveman. 49:07.214 --> 49:10.496 That's Nick Cave with Bring It On, Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 49:10.536 --> 49:16.819 So the salesman I was talking about in the electrical shop that sold me my Blu-ray player was actually listening to the programme. 49:16.859 --> 49:17.679 Well, one of his friends. 49:17.759 --> 49:18.319 One of his friends. 49:18.439 --> 49:19.340 One of his co-workers. 49:19.360 --> 49:26.643 It didn't occur to me that they might know who on earth I was, but he objected to being called Spotty, the salesman. 49:26.863 --> 49:28.666 Actually, he wasn't spotty now, I come to think of it. 49:28.726 --> 49:31.730 It was a lazy kind of bit of characterisation there that I did. 49:32.011 --> 49:33.072 He was a very good looking man. 49:33.433 --> 49:36.457 And one thing I admitted to mention was that I fell in love with him. 49:37.659 --> 49:39.682 Well, now you're just going too far the other way. 49:39.862 --> 49:40.102 Yeah. 49:40.403 --> 49:41.204 And we're living together. 49:41.284 --> 49:41.825 Is that too much? 49:42.345 --> 49:43.086 Yeah, it is. 49:43.446 --> 49:48.209 You know, you should go for the medium price cable rather than the very expensive one or the very cheap one. 49:48.229 --> 49:50.750 Do you know what I'm trying to say? 49:50.810 --> 49:54.913 Well, I hope it came across that the service I received at the shop was absolutely exemplary. 49:55.333 --> 49:58.175 We've had some terrific responses to text the nation. 49:58.215 --> 49:59.596 This is going to be a good one, I feel. 49:59.676 --> 50:00.216 Oh yeah, do you reckon? 50:00.236 --> 50:02.478 I printed some out and so they're going to be coming up in a second. 50:02.498 --> 50:05.159 But first of all, let's talk about something that might 50:06.520 --> 50:07.480 anger some people. 50:07.540 --> 50:08.960 It's a divisive subject. 50:09.541 --> 50:14.061 There's this dog that hangs around the BBC and comes into our studio. 50:14.101 --> 50:21.963 You might have heard him in previous programmes and his very presence really annoys a lot of listeners in a very fundamental way. 50:22.083 --> 50:25.063 Other listeners get annoyed that those listeners are annoyed. 50:25.323 --> 50:27.444 He's a very licky dog and that's the thing. 50:27.484 --> 50:30.304 He comes up to the microphone and he pants and he licks. 50:30.484 --> 50:34.785 And to hear that kind of licking in your ear hole sometimes is unwelcome for a lot of people. 50:35.345 --> 50:38.047 Well, I'm very old, but terribly old and sweet. 50:38.167 --> 50:47.455 He has an anal gland-based problem, which causes him to drag his bottom across the carpet sometimes. 50:47.655 --> 50:49.817 And he will eat other dogs' feces. 50:49.857 --> 50:51.839 But apart from that, he's really, really sweet. 50:51.879 --> 50:54.221 He's very sweet, but he hasn't been around for a while. 50:54.381 --> 50:55.221 His name is Boggins. 50:55.241 --> 50:58.985 He did come into the programme and he's caused frightful controversy and 50:59.605 --> 51:15.945 Half of our listeners, and we get almost as much mail about boggins as we do about anything else on this programme, and half the mail, it's divided pretty much equally between people that want to see the dog killed, not humanely but brutally, and the other half of the listeners who think he's sweet. 51:15.965 --> 51:17.207 The dog's fictional, we should have. 51:17.267 --> 51:18.829 He's a fictional dog, not a real dog, right? 51:19.309 --> 51:22.771 But still, it doesn't bother our listeners because he is an absolutely sweet chap. 51:22.791 --> 51:33.856 But then some listeners have stopped listening to the programme because they think enough is enough and they don't want to listen to a show with like a fictional dog that licks your ear hole who stinks, even if he's sweet. 51:34.036 --> 51:35.317 A listener called Ollie Moss. 51:35.857 --> 51:37.618 has created two posters. 51:38.018 --> 51:40.458 They're beautifully designed, very simple, very striking. 51:41.079 --> 51:48.681 One simply declares save boggins with two red crossed bones, a little like the red cross. 51:49.081 --> 52:03.805 And the other says, and that's red on white, the other is white on red, and it says kill boggins with the same cross design but at an angle so it becomes an X. It is an absolutely brilliant piece of design from James Olimos. 52:03.946 --> 52:05.066 And if you visit our blog, 52:05.906 --> 52:10.549 which can be found at the internet address that I'm about to read you. 52:10.689 --> 52:15.012 It is bbc.co.uk slash blogs slash Adam and Jo. 52:15.193 --> 52:17.074 You don't say forward slash anymore, right? 52:17.194 --> 52:17.974 Ah, just a slash. 52:17.995 --> 52:18.955 Redundance, just a slash. 52:18.975 --> 52:19.556 Have a slash. 52:19.716 --> 52:20.516 Have a little slash. 52:20.576 --> 52:30.843 Then you can, if you go to that address, you can download both of those posters and if it's your one, you can declare your affection or fury towards boggins in your homework. 52:30.903 --> 52:33.065 I mean, I don't know who would want to do that. 52:33.405 --> 52:48.951 David Bowie David David He's printing out both the posters and trying to make a decision I hung them in my window I couldn't decide if I wanted to kill him or let it slide What do you think David's stance on Boggins would be? 52:49.491 --> 52:50.752 Bowie's Boggins stance 52:51.566 --> 52:53.106 David Boggins? 52:55.687 --> 52:57.888 Is he not very empathetic and pro-animals? 52:58.588 --> 53:01.749 Yeah, what about fiction animals that stink? 53:01.989 --> 53:03.109 And have anal problems. 53:03.329 --> 53:04.009 Very sweet. 53:04.249 --> 53:06.330 Yeah, I think he would like it. 53:06.470 --> 53:06.930 I don't know. 53:06.950 --> 53:08.370 I think he'd be divided. 53:08.390 --> 53:10.131 And he'd do a concept album. 53:10.551 --> 53:10.751 Right. 53:10.891 --> 53:12.891 One side pro-Boggins, the other side anti-Boggins. 53:12.971 --> 53:13.291 Yes. 53:13.351 --> 53:20.073 Imagine a new website and a video game and probably a film made by his son, Diamond Stinky Dogs. 53:20.737 --> 53:21.878 It would be Brill skills. 53:21.958 --> 53:22.638 It would be absolutely amazing. 53:22.658 --> 53:24.599 I mean, that's certainly the way for him to go, isn't it? 53:24.699 --> 53:26.079 I mean, like, I'm pretty certain. 53:26.559 --> 53:28.280 He could do a little spoken intro. 53:28.440 --> 53:28.820 Yes. 53:29.061 --> 53:31.622 Like Future Legend at the beginning of Diamond Dogs. 53:31.642 --> 53:31.702 Yes. 53:31.742 --> 53:32.002 Yes. 53:32.462 --> 53:44.047 And in the death, as the last few corpses lay rotting in Temperance Alley, Incrawled a small, stinky man who had a problem with his anal glands, he was dragging his buttermilk grass on the floor. 53:44.287 --> 53:49.109 I mean, that's a wide open door for Bowie to return to the centre of the contemporary zeitgeist. 53:49.849 --> 53:51.731 All he needs to do is step through it. 53:51.751 --> 53:52.572 I mean, return. 53:53.052 --> 53:54.293 Well, he's obviously a deity. 53:54.333 --> 53:54.994 He's never left. 53:55.054 --> 53:58.457 He's an extraordinary presence, but he could be at the top of all the charts. 53:58.557 --> 54:01.580 If he's lucky, they might even have him as a guest on X Factor. 54:01.680 --> 54:02.541 Get on the blog, yo. 54:02.701 --> 54:03.361 Check it all out. 54:03.582 --> 54:04.923 Hang these posters in your window. 54:04.943 --> 54:06.544 We can really start something here, folks. 54:07.165 --> 54:14.111 Also, you might be able to find some of the songs that people have been sending in to some of our ludicrous improvised singing every now and again. 54:14.582 --> 54:15.384 Have we got one there? 54:15.464 --> 54:17.307 Oh yeah, that's a piece of paper over there. 54:17.808 --> 54:19.692 Adam's put his... I've got it! 54:20.093 --> 54:20.573 Here it is! 54:20.914 --> 54:22.918 Hey Joe man, we've broken through the noon barrier. 54:24.283 --> 54:26.424 Was there a little pop when we pushed through the barrier? 54:26.444 --> 54:27.165 I think there was. 54:27.665 --> 54:29.286 There was definitely, yeah, a sound. 54:29.306 --> 54:30.266 It's so weird. 54:31.106 --> 54:37.289 Here's a message right now from Wesley and he says, here's my remix of Adam's brilliant radio song. 54:37.309 --> 54:39.690 I would say that is stressing it too strongly. 54:40.050 --> 54:44.092 I liked his song more than Joe's, although Joe's was lyrically miles better. 54:44.252 --> 54:46.133 You know, I don't agree with you there Wesley. 54:46.153 --> 54:47.014 What are we talking about? 54:47.054 --> 54:47.594 What songs? 54:48.114 --> 54:48.534 The songs. 54:49.975 --> 54:51.316 The random blurbles. 54:51.336 --> 54:51.776 Exactly. 54:51.796 --> 54:53.797 I mean, it's dignifying to call them songs. 54:54.098 --> 54:56.479 He's from South Africa and he sends his love. 54:56.699 --> 54:58.601 He's our very biggest South African fan. 54:58.681 --> 54:59.621 Here's what he came up with. 55:02.103 --> 55:02.703 Remember. 55:17.619 --> 55:18.179 Squelching 55:25.946 --> 55:26.686 I mean, that's sexy. 55:26.706 --> 55:28.427 There's something sexy about that. 55:28.507 --> 55:31.008 If I was a gangster, I would dance to that in a nightclub. 55:31.348 --> 55:41.711 I mean, the thing about... Well, what we've done is we've provided those so-called vocals in a nude version for you that you can download on our blog and then you can use your production skills. 55:41.731 --> 55:51.194 And they really do throw into sharp contrast people's skills in making something sound really cool, even if it actually sounds awful. 55:51.314 --> 55:53.396 The variety of approaches is delicious. 55:53.816 --> 55:57.200 He says, Wesley, PS, I started out liking boggins. 55:57.400 --> 55:58.661 Now it's all just getting too much. 55:58.801 --> 55:59.122 Kill him. 55:59.702 --> 56:06.268 So and there's a little smiley emoticon underneath there where you can get on the blog and print out your killed boggins poster and hang it in South Africa there. 56:06.649 --> 56:08.591 Although maybe I don't know. 56:09.051 --> 56:25.675 But if you want to have a go at demonstrating your production skills with some really hopeless, you know, some singing that's totally devoid of any value, I would say, then download those valueless bits of singing and show us your chops, show us what you've got, see if you can take them in a different direction. 56:25.715 --> 56:27.575 Whoa, whoa, you're asking to see the listener's chops? 56:27.596 --> 56:30.336 I want to see everyone's chops, put your chops on the table. 56:30.816 --> 56:31.436 Look at that, chops. 56:31.817 --> 56:33.517 Here's Faithless, this is mass distraction. 56:40.034 --> 56:45.637 Whether long-range weapon or suicide bomb a wicked mind is a weapon of mass destruction. 56:45.697 --> 56:51.760 Whether you're sorrow is some or BGC1 is information is a weapon of mass destruction. 56:51.780 --> 56:54.222 You could have Caucasian or a poor Asian. 56:54.502 --> 56:57.223 Racism is a weapon of mass destruction. 56:57.424 --> 56:59.885 Whether inflation or globalization. 57:00.305 --> 57:14.077 Fear is a weapon of mass destruction My dad came into my room holding his hat I knew he was leaving He sat on my bed telling me some facts son I have a duty calling on me You and your sister be brave my little soldier 57:15.365 --> 57:45.025 And don't forget all I told you You're the mister of the house now, remember this And when you wake up in the morning, give your mama a kiss Then I had to say goodbye In the morning woke mama with a kiss on each eyelid Even though I'm only a kid, certain things can't be hit Mama grabbed me, held me like I was made to go but left her In her store as untold, but I said Mama, it'll be alright When daddy comes home 57:46.386 --> 58:09.276 Tonight Whether long range weapon or suicide bomb A wicked mind is a weapon of mass destruction Whether you're solo racing or BBC one This information is a weapon of mass destruction You could have caucasian or rap or asian Racism is a weapon of mass destruction Whether inflation or globalization 58:09.896 --> 58:29.675 Fear is a weapon of mass destruction Whether halibut, an enron, or any one greed Is a weapon of mass destruction We need to find courage, overcome inaction Is a weapon of mass destruction, inaction Is a weapon of mass destruction, inaction Is a weapon of mass destruction 58:32.256 --> 58:54.849 My story stops here Let's be clear This scenario is happening everywhere And you ain't going to Nirvana or Farvana You coming right back here to live out your karma With even more drama than previously Seriously Just how many centuries have we been waiting For someone else to make us free 58:56.210 --> 59:19.438 And we refuse to see The people overseas suffer just like we Bad leadership and ego's unfettered and free To feed on the people they're supposed to lead I don't need for people to pray and wait For the Lord to make it all straight There's only now I do it right Cause I don't want your daddy Leave it home for life 59:20.455 --> 59:26.098 Where the long-range weapon or suicide bomb or wicked mind is a weapon of mass destruction. 59:26.138 --> 59:32.201 Whether you're solo waste son or PDC one, this information is a weapon of mass destruction. 59:32.221 --> 59:34.623 You could have Caucasian or Raporacian. 59:34.963 --> 59:37.644 Racism is a weapon of mass destruction. 59:37.864 --> 59:40.145 Where the inflation or globalization. 59:40.205 --> 59:43.607 Fear is a weapon of mass destruction. 59:43.647 --> 59:46.629 Where the halibut can end run or anyone green. 59:47.289 --> 01:00:00.716 is a weapon of mass destruction we need to find courage overcome inaction is a weapon of mass destruction inaction is a weapon of mass destruction inaction is a weapon of mass destruction 01:00:05.373 --> 01:00:06.274 Yep, yep, yep, yep. 01:00:06.474 --> 01:00:09.456 That was Faithless with mass destruction from 2004. 01:00:10.957 --> 01:00:12.198 He's a skinny man, that guy. 01:00:12.218 --> 01:00:14.560 It's his name, Maxie Jazz, the wrapping man there. 01:00:15.060 --> 01:00:21.685 Here's a picture of him here, opposite Sister Bliss, and she's fully clothed, but Maxie Jazz appears to be fully naked. 01:00:22.365 --> 01:00:25.548 And he is like a little kind of Skeletor looking chap. 01:00:25.928 --> 01:00:28.210 He looks like the guy in the wire, if you're a wire fan. 01:00:28.270 --> 01:00:30.212 Cedric, he looks like... It might be an old photo. 01:00:30.332 --> 01:00:30.793 You never know. 01:00:30.833 --> 01:00:32.214 Recently, he might have ballooned. 01:00:32.774 --> 01:00:33.875 Absolute tubulatron. 01:00:33.955 --> 01:00:34.836 You've ballooned. 01:00:34.916 --> 01:00:35.477 Look at you. 01:00:35.517 --> 01:00:38.499 You've absolutely ballooned. 01:00:39.460 --> 01:00:42.122 So we're going to do some text the nation here, right? 01:00:42.442 --> 01:00:42.883 Sure we are. 01:00:42.903 --> 01:00:43.664 So we have the jingle. 01:00:43.684 --> 01:00:43.964 Hit it. 01:00:46.381 --> 01:00:47.162 Text the nation! 01:00:47.242 --> 01:00:47.543 Text! 01:00:47.623 --> 01:00:47.903 Text! 01:00:47.963 --> 01:00:49.144 Text the nation! 01:00:49.204 --> 01:00:50.185 What if I don't want to? 01:00:50.425 --> 01:00:51.166 Text the nation! 01:00:51.246 --> 01:00:53.148 But I'm using email, is that a problem? 01:00:53.188 --> 01:00:54.029 It doesn't matter, text! 01:00:56.380 --> 01:00:57.461 What's it all about then, Adam? 01:00:57.481 --> 01:00:58.961 What's it all about? 01:00:59.182 --> 01:01:06.746 It's about misconceptions, things you've got wrong for most of your life and only recently discovered that you had been doing that so wrong. 01:01:06.906 --> 01:01:08.747 Yes, case in point, Poppy in Muswell Hill. 01:01:08.827 --> 01:01:09.467 Hi, Adam and Jo. 01:01:09.507 --> 01:01:18.492 For many years, I thought that the expression pre-Madonna was actually pre-Madonna, using Madonna's chart success as a benchmark to compare all other female singers to. 01:01:18.972 --> 01:01:20.713 I recently had this pointed out by my dad. 01:01:21.073 --> 01:01:22.134 Felt a little bit silly. 01:01:22.734 --> 01:01:24.676 Poppy in Muswell Hill, Muswell. 01:01:24.856 --> 01:01:25.377 Muswell. 01:01:25.477 --> 01:01:26.558 Muswell, that's what they do. 01:01:26.598 --> 01:01:28.140 Yeah, that's one I do, you see. 01:01:28.300 --> 01:01:29.762 I told you I've got loads of them. 01:01:29.842 --> 01:01:30.503 But you'll see Muswell. 01:01:30.523 --> 01:01:33.867 But you'll see expectations that you're quite proud of, like saying Kate Beckinsdale. 01:01:33.887 --> 01:01:35.408 That's just my approach to life in general. 01:01:35.448 --> 01:01:36.229 Kate Beckinsdale. 01:01:36.249 --> 01:01:37.090 So try and be happy. 01:01:37.771 --> 01:01:38.851 with one's flaws. 01:01:38.992 --> 01:01:39.352 Quite right. 01:01:39.992 --> 01:01:41.492 This one's from Joe in Bow. 01:01:41.773 --> 01:01:49.336 It wasn't until recently I realised that a piece of cake was called a sliver and not a slither. 01:01:50.176 --> 01:01:52.417 Apparently everyone else knows it apart from me. 01:01:53.437 --> 01:01:55.878 A sliver, not a slither. 01:01:55.918 --> 01:01:57.479 Slither is something a snake would do. 01:01:57.639 --> 01:01:58.419 Yes, exactly. 01:01:58.719 --> 01:01:59.580 It is confusing though. 01:01:59.600 --> 01:02:01.520 I remember when that Sharon Stone film came out. 01:02:02.041 --> 01:02:03.821 It took me a while to get my brain in gear for that. 01:02:04.301 --> 01:02:05.802 The Sharon Stone film Slither. 01:02:05.982 --> 01:02:08.444 I was excited about the prospect of stone slithering. 01:02:08.944 --> 01:02:10.705 I wanted to see some because you can imagine. 01:02:11.206 --> 01:02:12.066 She'll do anything. 01:02:12.987 --> 01:02:16.189 And that was around the time in her career where she was slithering all over the place. 01:02:16.809 --> 01:02:20.772 And when it turned out to be just she lived in a thin building, was it? 01:02:21.232 --> 01:02:22.493 I don't think I ever saw it. 01:02:23.354 --> 01:02:25.555 Is that the one where the catchphrase was I like to watch? 01:02:25.615 --> 01:02:26.236 That's right. 01:02:26.296 --> 01:02:26.576 Yeah. 01:02:27.116 --> 01:02:27.516 Who was it? 01:02:27.556 --> 01:02:31.419 Was it one of the Baldwin's sitting in front of a big bank of tellies? 01:02:31.439 --> 01:02:31.999 That's right. 01:02:32.120 --> 01:02:32.340 Yeah. 01:02:32.660 --> 01:02:34.481 He just wired up the whole place with CCC. 01:02:37.764 --> 01:02:40.226 So we could watch Sharon taking showers. 01:02:40.266 --> 01:02:41.927 Sharon enough. 01:02:41.947 --> 01:02:43.248 Here's one from Dillian Plymouth. 01:02:43.529 --> 01:02:48.853 I used to think on Halloween that when you knocked at people's door, you'd say, trickle treats. 01:02:49.034 --> 01:02:50.695 Trickle treats. 01:02:50.815 --> 01:02:52.196 Instead of trickle treat. 01:02:52.316 --> 01:02:53.137 Well, they answered. 01:02:53.558 --> 01:02:58.061 This made perfect sense, as I'd only get a handful of sweets from each person. 01:02:58.482 --> 01:03:00.063 She spells sweets sweats. 01:03:01.764 --> 01:03:03.625 So her problems aren't over. 01:03:04.665 --> 01:03:08.187 I'd only get a handful of sweats from each person that answered. 01:03:08.307 --> 01:03:09.387 A little trickle of sweat. 01:03:09.407 --> 01:03:09.607 Yeah. 01:03:10.187 --> 01:03:10.828 Trickle treats. 01:03:12.128 --> 01:03:13.289 A little wee in the garden. 01:03:13.309 --> 01:03:20.431 Guy just pushes his armpit up to the mailbox there and sort of scrapes a little bit of perspiration off into her bag. 01:03:20.671 --> 01:03:22.272 Frances and Brighton has a problem. 01:03:22.732 --> 01:03:26.954 I thought till very recently that the word chimney was chimley. 01:03:27.694 --> 01:03:28.434 Chim-lee! 01:03:28.794 --> 01:03:32.015 And was always very confused in the Mary Poppins song. 01:03:32.735 --> 01:03:34.716 Now, instead of saying word, she says work. 01:03:35.696 --> 01:03:39.197 I thought till very recently that the work chimney was chim-lee. 01:03:39.777 --> 01:03:43.758 So there's a multiplicity of problems there in Francis's brain. 01:03:43.878 --> 01:03:47.419 Chim chim-lee, chim chim-lee, chim chim-lee. 01:03:49.020 --> 01:03:50.120 Clean the chim-lee. 01:03:50.260 --> 01:03:51.380 These are all quite sweet though. 01:03:51.460 --> 01:03:52.161 They are. 01:03:52.181 --> 01:03:53.361 Tim and Dorset, Adam and Jo. 01:03:53.421 --> 01:03:56.462 I've worked in a cafe on my summer holidays from uni. 01:03:57.242 --> 01:04:00.324 And since I graduated... Come along. 01:04:00.624 --> 01:04:00.944 Here we go. 01:04:00.984 --> 01:04:01.664 I'll try this again. 01:04:02.264 --> 01:04:07.307 I've worked in a cafe on my summer holidays from uni, and since I graduated, so about a year overall. 01:04:07.667 --> 01:04:09.308 There's an emerging theme with these, isn't there? 01:04:09.328 --> 01:04:14.310 I mean, not only is there the problem, but there are often other problems around the problem. 01:04:14.330 --> 01:04:15.391 It's not an isolated form. 01:04:15.411 --> 01:04:17.032 It's a grouping of incidents. 01:04:18.572 --> 01:04:19.513 It's problem spotting. 01:04:19.993 --> 01:04:23.878 I only just realised it's an espresso, not an espresso. 01:04:23.918 --> 01:04:25.900 Well, you see, that is a bone of contention. 01:04:26.380 --> 01:04:26.661 Is it? 01:04:26.921 --> 01:04:27.301 Is that debatable? 01:04:27.321 --> 01:04:34.269 Because I myself have used espresso in a formal context. 01:04:34.369 --> 01:04:35.130 Espresso. 01:04:35.711 --> 01:04:40.756 Some people say you can spell it with an X, other people say you have to... Well, the same can be said of realising, using Zs. 01:04:41.952 --> 01:04:43.513 I don't know if it's the same sort of thing. 01:04:43.533 --> 01:04:47.115 I don't know if it's an American, UK, US design. 01:04:47.135 --> 01:04:48.955 Well, sometimes there's no hard and fast rule. 01:04:49.516 --> 01:04:51.797 Language is a very evolution. 01:04:51.817 --> 01:04:52.857 You know, it changes a lot. 01:04:53.037 --> 01:04:55.118 Does it? 01:04:55.178 --> 01:04:56.339 Dave in Crofton Park. 01:04:56.459 --> 01:04:58.520 Apparently it's Chutney, not Chupney. 01:05:00.961 --> 01:05:01.582 Says Dave. 01:05:02.422 --> 01:05:02.902 Llama. 01:05:03.623 --> 01:05:04.483 Oh, we know Llama. 01:05:05.043 --> 01:05:06.104 She's an old friend of the show. 01:05:06.664 --> 01:05:07.465 I've been saying it. 01:05:07.965 --> 01:05:11.388 Scalextrix for about 15 years. 01:05:11.448 --> 01:05:13.770 I only recently found out that it's Scalextrix. 01:05:14.631 --> 01:05:16.593 The first one's so much easier to say. 01:05:16.753 --> 01:05:19.055 Scalextrix just gets stuck in your mouth. 01:05:19.395 --> 01:05:20.856 I can't be alone on this one. 01:05:20.996 --> 01:05:21.757 Absolutely not. 01:05:21.897 --> 01:05:22.698 I had the same problem. 01:05:22.718 --> 01:05:30.665 I was setting up the track only last week and I wrote about it in my diary and I had to go and spell check it on the internet because it started scrambling my brain and the internal 01:05:31.005 --> 01:05:33.387 Do you spell checked it before you wrote it in your diary? 01:05:33.507 --> 01:05:33.687 Yeah. 01:05:34.068 --> 01:05:36.550 Because you're worried about spelling mistakes in your diary. 01:05:36.570 --> 01:05:37.690 I don't want to badly spell diary. 01:05:37.710 --> 01:05:39.612 For when the publishers... Exactly, come a-knocking. 01:05:39.812 --> 01:05:42.714 ...come a-knocking and it gets published and... This guy can't spell scale extra. 01:05:42.734 --> 01:05:43.895 We're not going to publish his diary. 01:05:43.915 --> 01:05:48.339 But spelling mistakes like that will be very endearing in your published diary. 01:05:48.719 --> 01:05:51.622 No, I want people to be overwhelmed by my spelling prowess. 01:05:51.742 --> 01:05:51.982 Okay. 01:05:52.898 --> 01:05:55.019 Here's a final one for this segment from Nicola. 01:05:55.299 --> 01:06:01.603 Hi Adam and Jo, my boyfriend recently asked me how many cloves of garlic I wanted chopping for a recipe we were making. 01:06:01.763 --> 01:06:02.464 How many cloves? 01:06:02.504 --> 01:06:05.365 He's got through that many years thinking it's cloves. 01:06:05.425 --> 01:06:12.489 I wasn't sure I'd heard correctly, but he had indeed said cloves and wasn't impressed when I burst out laughing at him. 01:06:14.190 --> 01:06:14.750 These are good. 01:06:14.890 --> 01:06:15.611 Keep them coming in. 01:06:15.651 --> 01:06:16.691 What's the text number, Adam? 01:06:17.491 --> 01:06:16.691 64046. 01:06:17.851 --> 01:06:18.792 What is the email? 01:06:19.052 --> 01:06:24.193 Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 01:06:24.373 --> 01:06:24.894 Spank you. 01:06:25.314 --> 01:06:26.294 Spank you very much. 01:06:27.434 --> 01:06:30.075 Here is the School of Seven Bells with Half Asleep. 01:06:30.215 --> 01:06:31.396 This is the alternative version. 01:06:32.836 --> 01:06:35.877 Nice long ambient exit there. 01:06:36.277 --> 01:06:37.318 Excuse me, just clearing my throat. 01:06:38.877 --> 01:06:39.638 Adam and Jo here. 01:06:39.658 --> 01:06:42.059 We've bust through the noon barrier. 01:06:42.500 --> 01:06:44.761 It's coming up to 20 past 12. 01:06:45.021 --> 01:06:46.462 A little time check there for you. 01:06:46.542 --> 01:06:50.025 We don't usually do that on this show, but we do today. 01:06:50.885 --> 01:06:51.946 We started an hour later. 01:06:51.986 --> 01:06:54.988 Everything's totally different, different kind of show, topical show, news show. 01:06:55.008 --> 01:06:57.390 We're going to talk about the things that matter. 01:06:58.210 --> 01:06:58.470 No, we're not. 01:06:59.271 --> 01:07:03.634 Later on today, listeners, I'm going to speak to you there without my headphones on. 01:07:04.054 --> 01:07:04.274 Oh yeah. 01:07:04.314 --> 01:07:10.859 It just felt like, it just felt for a moment as you were a random nutter talking rubbish in the corner of the room. 01:07:11.320 --> 01:07:11.560 Yeah. 01:07:11.980 --> 01:07:12.901 So what's new? 01:07:12.981 --> 01:07:13.542 That's my point. 01:07:13.562 --> 01:07:15.003 Please say a shout. 01:07:15.443 --> 01:07:24.030 Later on today at five o'clock I'm going to be interviewing Spike Jones, the film director, not the creator of Enjoyable. 01:07:24.050 --> 01:07:25.371 He must be very nervous right now. 01:07:25.891 --> 01:07:26.691 I imagine he's very nervous. 01:07:26.731 --> 01:07:29.832 He's been tearing the big buckles interview for this for a long time. 01:07:29.892 --> 01:07:33.333 It's the big interview, the big interview, the big overview. 01:07:34.233 --> 01:07:35.893 And it's going to be taking place. 01:07:36.173 --> 01:07:39.914 It's quite a peak for a performer, isn't it? 01:07:39.974 --> 01:07:41.915 When they are when you get the call. 01:07:41.995 --> 01:07:44.415 Yeah, for a Count Bocchioli's call of the buckles. 01:07:45.476 --> 01:07:47.996 It's taking place at the Apple Store in Regent Street. 01:07:49.136 --> 01:07:54.238 And exactly five o'clock, I'm going to be there talking to Spickel's Buckles. 01:07:54.478 --> 01:07:55.198 That's what I call him. 01:07:56.058 --> 01:07:58.700 That's what I'm going to be calling him when I see him there. 01:07:59.941 --> 01:08:00.901 Spiker, I might call him. 01:08:01.622 --> 01:08:02.162 Spocky Lees. 01:08:02.902 --> 01:08:03.443 Dr. Spock. 01:08:04.824 --> 01:08:06.064 The Jonesman. 01:08:06.144 --> 01:08:06.825 The Jonesinator. 01:08:07.385 --> 01:08:08.266 Anything else I should call him? 01:08:09.366 --> 01:08:09.527 No. 01:08:09.647 --> 01:08:10.747 I think he'll like all those names. 01:08:10.767 --> 01:08:11.127 He will. 01:08:11.188 --> 01:08:13.469 He's a very convivial chap. 01:08:13.669 --> 01:08:19.173 I'm going to be talking to him, obviously, about his film Where the Wild Things Are, and I saw that last night, enjoyed it greatly. 01:08:19.994 --> 01:08:23.036 It's not going to be a completely formal interview. 01:08:23.296 --> 01:08:25.358 In fact, it might be a little bit stupid. 01:08:25.578 --> 01:08:25.838 What? 01:08:26.518 --> 01:08:30.401 He's doing an interview at the BFI, doing a Q&A after a screening of his film. 01:08:30.421 --> 01:08:31.902 You were going to do that, though, weren't you? 01:08:32.182 --> 01:08:34.824 I was, but they got some slightly more heavy weight. 01:08:34.844 --> 01:08:35.885 Who have they got to do it? 01:08:36.185 --> 01:08:37.566 I don't know, a journalist of some kind. 01:08:37.606 --> 01:08:38.247 A journalist? 01:08:39.067 --> 01:08:43.370 So there's going to be a more in-depth Q&A with Spike at the BFI afterwards. 01:08:43.730 --> 01:08:44.791 Yours is a shallower one. 01:08:44.931 --> 01:08:46.232 Mine is much more shallow. 01:08:46.352 --> 01:08:47.312 Scraping the surface. 01:08:47.332 --> 01:08:53.095 He doesn't know this yet, but I'm going to be giving him, I'm going to be quoting some comments that I've got from you. 01:08:53.115 --> 01:08:55.817 Your first question should maybe just be, who are you? 01:08:56.057 --> 01:08:56.838 What do you do? 01:08:57.178 --> 01:08:58.499 Who are you and what do you do? 01:08:58.559 --> 01:08:59.939 Who are you and what do you do? 01:09:00.440 --> 01:09:00.800 What then? 01:09:01.620 --> 01:09:03.141 Well, it depends what he says. 01:09:04.842 --> 01:09:07.644 What you I have to listen to what is on yeah, and then respond to that. 01:09:07.764 --> 01:09:09.044 Yeah, what are your favorites? 01:09:09.204 --> 01:09:10.825 Hey, don't specify what? 01:09:11.485 --> 01:09:13.286 Because what are your favorites? 01:09:13.747 --> 01:09:15.588 Yeah, and what are your worst? 01:09:16.288 --> 01:09:24.932 What worst what can I just say that what worse well, you can just say faves faves Spicles faves Then he comes back. 01:09:24.952 --> 01:09:25.072 Yes 01:09:27.713 --> 01:09:29.694 Then you go, what are your worsties? 01:09:29.975 --> 01:09:31.795 What's your worsties? 01:09:31.915 --> 01:09:33.276 Okay, you answered that. 01:09:33.736 --> 01:09:33.936 Now. 01:09:34.376 --> 01:09:35.157 Spocky, don't spock. 01:09:35.177 --> 01:09:35.637 Jedwood. 01:09:35.837 --> 01:09:36.197 Jedwood. 01:09:36.497 --> 01:09:37.218 What are your worsties? 01:09:37.238 --> 01:09:37.618 Jedwood. 01:09:38.338 --> 01:09:38.999 That's the next one. 01:09:39.139 --> 01:09:39.339 Yeah. 01:09:39.579 --> 01:09:40.559 Oh, oh, oh. 01:09:40.719 --> 01:09:41.160 Jedwood. 01:09:41.220 --> 01:09:41.660 Jedwood. 01:09:44.061 --> 01:09:47.883 And you don't think I should talk about the film? 01:09:49.043 --> 01:09:50.404 Well, what film? 01:09:50.524 --> 01:09:51.124 The Wild Things. 01:09:51.624 --> 01:09:52.865 Oh, that's what he's done. 01:09:53.706 --> 01:09:54.529 Um, I wouldn't. 01:09:54.589 --> 01:09:57.116 Everyone else will be talking to him about that tea. 01:09:57.658 --> 01:09:59.924 What would Jedwood make of the wild things? 01:10:00.439 --> 01:10:02.960 Or if they were wild things, what wild things would they be? 01:10:02.980 --> 01:10:04.760 That's a good question, that's a good question. 01:10:05.100 --> 01:10:08.401 This is all going to be happening at five o'clock at the Apple Store in Regent Street. 01:10:08.541 --> 01:10:11.922 You can check their website for details, and it would be very nice to see you there. 01:10:12.342 --> 01:10:16.103 Not only Black Squadron, but Lazy Squadron as well, Afternoon Squadron. 01:10:16.303 --> 01:10:16.843 Who are you? 01:10:17.443 --> 01:10:18.203 What do you do? 01:10:18.923 --> 01:10:19.304 Fave? 01:10:19.444 --> 01:10:19.884 Fave? 01:10:20.104 --> 01:10:20.784 Worthy? 01:10:21.364 --> 01:10:22.084 Worthy? 01:10:22.104 --> 01:10:22.204 Bye. 01:10:25.645 --> 01:10:27.966 I can't wait. 01:10:28.666 --> 01:10:29.306 Who are you? 01:10:29.746 --> 01:10:30.466 What do you do? 01:10:30.486 --> 01:10:40.108 What's this? 01:10:41.428 --> 01:10:42.088 Question mark. 01:10:42.589 --> 01:10:43.349 What's this? 01:10:44.209 --> 01:10:45.009 So five questions. 01:10:45.049 --> 01:10:45.969 That should do it, shouldn't it? 01:10:46.649 --> 01:10:47.310 What about this one? 01:10:47.590 --> 01:10:48.310 Who do you do? 01:10:48.590 --> 01:10:49.590 Who do you do? 01:10:49.870 --> 01:10:50.730 Who do you do? 01:10:51.270 --> 01:10:53.731 Who currently do you do? 01:10:54.651 --> 01:10:55.371 Who do you do? 01:10:55.572 --> 01:10:57.132 Who do you do? 01:10:58.653 --> 01:10:59.393 That's a good interview. 01:10:59.433 --> 01:11:00.534 That's a good interview. 01:11:00.894 --> 01:11:01.474 That's exciting. 01:11:01.514 --> 01:11:02.354 And that's free entry. 01:11:02.394 --> 01:11:05.356 Anyone who's in London's Oxford Street can just stroll along. 01:11:05.396 --> 01:11:06.876 Any nutcase can stroll in off the street. 01:11:06.896 --> 01:11:10.218 That's going to be a hot, hot event, isn't it? 01:11:10.238 --> 01:11:10.698 Sure it is. 01:11:11.198 --> 01:11:11.779 Sure it is. 01:11:12.059 --> 01:11:14.580 I wonder if I can get spicles to do anything for this show like... 01:11:15.280 --> 01:11:17.881 I'm sure you could get Spigles to do something for this show. 01:11:17.921 --> 01:11:19.802 I'm sure you could ask his opinion on Boggins. 01:11:20.362 --> 01:11:20.762 Right. 01:11:21.042 --> 01:11:23.023 Don't contextualize it, just say, Boggins? 01:11:23.323 --> 01:11:25.344 You know, well that ties into the wild. 01:11:25.424 --> 01:11:26.485 Literally, just say Boggins. 01:11:26.525 --> 01:11:26.925 Boggins? 01:11:27.025 --> 01:11:27.325 Jedward? 01:11:27.345 --> 01:11:28.846 I mean, is that before or after Jedward? 01:11:29.966 --> 01:11:30.406 Before. 01:11:30.546 --> 01:11:32.167 I'd say it takes priority culturally. 01:11:32.847 --> 01:11:35.008 I would have thought he would have heard about Boggins. 01:11:35.228 --> 01:11:37.849 If he hasn't, then he might as well take off his pop culture king crown. 01:11:38.250 --> 01:11:39.010 Crown of the king. 01:11:39.270 --> 01:11:39.990 Karen knows. 01:11:40.010 --> 01:11:41.591 He would have been talking all about Boggins. 01:11:41.611 --> 01:11:43.852 He's going to do a whole Boggins album, Karen, probably. 01:11:44.572 --> 01:11:46.735 Some pots and pans, a couple of wooden spoons. 01:11:46.755 --> 01:11:47.195 They're shouting. 01:11:47.255 --> 01:11:47.736 Sorted. 01:11:48.036 --> 01:11:49.317 Here's a free play for you now, listeners. 01:11:49.558 --> 01:11:56.485 Now, Joe, do you remember going to Guy Gaddney's party on the coach that he laid on years back? 01:11:57.325 --> 01:11:58.086 I do, yeah. 01:11:58.326 --> 01:11:58.987 It was amazing. 01:11:59.007 --> 01:12:02.811 It was a school party and he hired a coach, took us all from London to his parents' house. 01:12:02.831 --> 01:12:03.131 Yeah. 01:12:03.832 --> 01:12:05.314 And we got drunk and smashed it up. 01:12:05.854 --> 01:12:07.835 got back on the coach and went home. 01:12:07.975 --> 01:12:08.575 That's not true. 01:12:08.935 --> 01:12:09.535 We behaved very well. 01:12:09.555 --> 01:12:10.316 That's a little bit true, isn't it? 01:12:10.556 --> 01:12:13.797 But we had a couple of vloggers on the bus, I think, going up there, because we were excited. 01:12:14.077 --> 01:12:14.917 And we had the stereo one. 01:12:15.017 --> 01:12:19.819 And do you remember we were playing this song, this Brian Ferry song, These Foolish Things? 01:12:19.859 --> 01:12:24.141 And we were acting it all out with, we were sort of miming along to all the lyrics on here. 01:12:24.581 --> 01:12:25.201 It was fun, man. 01:12:25.221 --> 01:12:26.901 It was one of my fun childhood memories. 01:12:26.982 --> 01:12:28.902 And this brings it all back. 01:12:29.002 --> 01:12:30.883 Brian Ferry doing these foolish things. 01:12:32.749 --> 01:12:40.835 It's Brian Ferri, with his wavy voice, like D'Avenger Bernhardt. 01:12:41.375 --> 01:12:42.836 That was these foolish things. 01:12:43.377 --> 01:12:44.798 Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 01:12:45.038 --> 01:12:48.921 We're here with you until one o'clock today of course listeners because we started an hour later. 01:12:49.621 --> 01:12:52.904 After us will be Liz Kershaw in her usual slot. 01:12:53.610 --> 01:12:54.150 No, it's not. 01:12:54.390 --> 01:12:56.551 I mean, it's an hour later, so it's an unusual slot. 01:12:56.952 --> 01:12:58.312 But the slot will still be there. 01:12:59.073 --> 01:12:59.553 You're fired. 01:12:59.933 --> 01:13:00.874 Thank you very much. 01:13:00.954 --> 01:13:01.654 I'll get my coach. 01:13:02.334 --> 01:13:07.797 And then later on in the afternoon, at three o'clock, Richard Bacon will be joining the Six Music family. 01:13:08.157 --> 01:13:10.198 We might even get Richard Bacon in later on. 01:13:10.578 --> 01:13:18.142 And my idea was to sit him between myself and Joe, ask him quick fire questions, and then it would be a grilled bacon sandwich. 01:13:18.762 --> 01:13:22.344 And I don't think that's ever been done before, but Joe disagrees strongly. 01:13:23.004 --> 01:13:24.626 Anyway it's time for the news now. 01:13:42.685 --> 01:13:44.066 Kaiser Chiefs. 01:13:44.086 --> 01:13:46.387 They've commanded campaigns. 01:13:46.627 --> 01:13:58.094 You should really get to know about them now that you're starting your show here on Six Music because the kids love them and the kids listen to this show and if you don't say the right things to the kids you'll be kicked out. 01:13:58.334 --> 01:14:01.656 Well I'm concerned and this is BBC Radio Six Music. 01:14:01.716 --> 01:14:04.897 It's actually got the word music in its title. 01:14:05.098 --> 01:14:07.579 You're ready man, you've spotted that so you're ready. 01:14:08.019 --> 01:14:12.382 Well, I'm not ready, but I've got until three to really get up to speed with music. 01:14:12.702 --> 01:14:12.962 Yeah. 01:14:13.163 --> 01:14:15.164 Your first show today on Six Music, that's exciting. 01:14:15.324 --> 01:14:17.546 What we've done is we've stuck you between myself and Joe. 01:14:17.566 --> 01:14:18.486 Here we go. 01:14:18.566 --> 01:14:20.608 Adam's been really building up to this joke. 01:14:20.948 --> 01:14:21.588 Are you ready? 01:14:21.628 --> 01:14:22.929 He's so pleased with this joke. 01:14:22.949 --> 01:14:23.830 I think this is never even done. 01:14:23.850 --> 01:14:32.275 Before you do the joke, I assume every single tedious pun about your name was made within the first two weeks of your broadcasting career. 01:14:32.295 --> 01:14:33.856 So let's see whether you've ever had this one. 01:14:34.097 --> 01:14:37.599 Bucullis thinks this is an absolute original fresh out of the oven gem. 01:14:38.540 --> 01:14:44.125 I think I can see where this is going, but what I'm not going to do is pre-end the punchline because it would ruin it. 01:14:44.145 --> 01:14:45.506 I'm not walking all over his joke. 01:14:45.526 --> 01:14:46.687 Scribble it down and fold it up. 01:14:46.747 --> 01:14:48.108 Don't let Buck Bucky Lee see. 01:14:48.268 --> 01:14:49.510 Okay, hang on. 01:14:49.530 --> 01:14:55.135 Mr. Dr. Bacon is writing down what joke he thinks Adam is going to make. 01:14:55.195 --> 01:14:56.976 He's folding it up now with his prediction. 01:14:56.996 --> 01:14:58.558 This is sort of like a Darren Brown link. 01:14:58.818 --> 01:15:02.021 But instead of being psychic, Adam's just amazingly obvious. 01:15:04.262 --> 01:15:06.903 It's sort of really simplified psychicness. 01:15:06.983 --> 01:15:11.104 Do you want to see what I've written down? 01:15:11.144 --> 01:15:14.305 We're going to ask you some quick fire questions. 01:15:15.465 --> 01:15:19.846 This has never been done before! 01:15:23.140 --> 01:15:23.621 Right, here we go. 01:15:24.221 --> 01:15:24.722 Richard Bacon. 01:15:25.102 --> 01:15:25.283 Hi. 01:15:25.383 --> 01:15:26.524 What time does your show start today? 01:15:26.764 --> 01:15:27.265 Three o'clock. 01:15:27.325 --> 01:15:27.926 How long does it last? 01:15:28.286 --> 01:15:28.706 Two hours. 01:15:28.887 --> 01:15:29.387 How old are you? 01:15:30.348 --> 01:15:30.849 Thirty-four. 01:15:31.109 --> 01:15:31.910 Are you having a good time? 01:15:32.010 --> 01:15:32.250 Yes. 01:15:33.332 --> 01:15:35.254 Are you currently on the radio with another programme? 01:15:35.514 --> 01:15:35.734 Yes. 01:15:36.215 --> 01:15:36.676 What station? 01:15:36.816 --> 01:15:37.276 Five Live. 01:15:37.537 --> 01:15:38.317 Do you love the BBC? 01:15:38.518 --> 01:15:38.718 Yes. 01:15:38.998 --> 01:15:40.460 Have you read the pledges on the back of your card? 01:15:40.620 --> 01:15:40.760 No. 01:15:41.401 --> 01:15:41.741 You should. 01:15:42.102 --> 01:15:42.342 Okay. 01:15:42.622 --> 01:15:42.843 Okay. 01:15:43.363 --> 01:15:45.765 So, that was quick five questions, right? 01:15:45.785 --> 01:15:49.827 We were grilling you like a grilled bacon sandwich! 01:15:49.847 --> 01:15:51.068 What's he written on the piece of paper? 01:15:51.088 --> 01:15:52.189 I just put bacon sandwich. 01:15:52.209 --> 01:15:52.789 Did you see? 01:15:52.809 --> 01:15:54.711 He didn't get grilled bacon sandwich! 01:15:54.771 --> 01:15:55.771 Is that new, Richard? 01:15:55.791 --> 01:15:57.773 No, no one's done the grilled bacon sandwich. 01:15:57.813 --> 01:15:58.993 That's amazing. 01:15:59.093 --> 01:16:05.217 I thought, I thought most of the puns revolving around my meat-based surname had been done by the age of nine. 01:16:05.478 --> 01:16:06.819 Not the grilled bacon sandwich. 01:16:06.839 --> 01:16:10.341 Turns out it's taken till 34 for someone to come up with grilled bacon sandwich. 01:16:10.401 --> 01:16:12.002 And do you know what I wanted to do but they wouldn't let me? 01:16:12.302 --> 01:16:16.788 I wanted to get a nude woman in to wrap her chest around your head so it would be a bacon bap. 01:16:22.495 --> 01:16:23.636 I was not allowed. 01:16:23.656 --> 01:16:23.696 No. 01:16:24.196 --> 01:16:25.737 By the BBC. 01:16:26.058 --> 01:16:28.499 Protecting, safeguarding trust or whatever. 01:16:28.519 --> 01:16:30.941 Do you ever get that sense that a man's really found his niche? 01:16:31.441 --> 01:16:32.462 Do you know what I mean in the world? 01:16:32.482 --> 01:16:35.904 The, uh, the bacon back, by the way, has been done. 01:16:35.964 --> 01:16:36.525 Has it? 01:16:36.565 --> 01:16:36.785 Yeah. 01:16:36.885 --> 01:16:37.185 Seriously. 01:16:37.205 --> 01:16:38.166 I don't want to break your heart. 01:16:38.186 --> 01:16:38.826 With all the trimmings. 01:16:38.866 --> 01:16:39.627 I've heard that one. 01:16:39.647 --> 01:16:42.909 Adam, this man did like, you've, you've done breakfast radio for how long? 01:16:42.969 --> 01:16:44.771 Did you do, you did a breakfast show, right? 01:16:44.811 --> 01:16:45.151 Yeah. 01:16:45.371 --> 01:16:45.931 For how long? 01:16:46.232 --> 01:16:47.633 Uh, I've did two or three years. 01:16:47.853 --> 01:16:48.233 Exactly. 01:16:48.453 --> 01:16:49.174 Every morning. 01:16:49.774 --> 01:16:50.555 For how many hours? 01:16:50.775 --> 01:16:50.975 Yeah. 01:16:51.255 --> 01:17:07.921 two hours two hours every morning imagine the amount of puns and you're good looking man if you don't mind me saying i know that's a weird thing to say but you are a good looking man and you are Adam has you've got like a little bit of um salt and pepper in the hair there a fleck of grudge is just suiting you very well if i may say 01:17:08.021 --> 01:17:11.543 I wanted to tell you about what I'm wearing today, because I've got this jumper on here. 01:17:11.623 --> 01:17:12.764 And you can see there's a scarf. 01:17:12.784 --> 01:17:13.784 It's very loose, isn't it? 01:17:14.025 --> 01:17:14.945 And he's got a scarf. 01:17:14.985 --> 01:17:17.046 It's exactly the same knit as the jumper. 01:17:17.106 --> 01:17:17.367 Exactly. 01:17:17.387 --> 01:17:18.467 It's the same pattern as the jumper. 01:17:18.487 --> 01:17:19.528 But here's the thing. 01:17:19.988 --> 01:17:22.510 The scarf is attached to the jump. 01:17:22.530 --> 01:17:23.170 Get out of here. 01:17:23.450 --> 01:17:24.331 Honestly, OK, go on. 01:17:24.371 --> 01:17:24.691 I'll do it. 01:17:24.851 --> 01:17:25.992 He's a fashion leader. 01:17:26.032 --> 01:17:26.472 Look at that. 01:17:26.812 --> 01:17:27.913 And so, you know, sometimes. 01:17:27.933 --> 01:17:28.813 It's not true so far. 01:17:29.294 --> 01:17:31.495 You've got it tangled up with this headphone cord. 01:17:31.835 --> 01:17:32.736 But you can pull one if you want. 01:17:32.776 --> 01:17:33.356 Adam, you pull one. 01:17:33.396 --> 01:17:34.016 Oh, look, it is. 01:17:34.036 --> 01:17:35.097 Look, that's extraordinary. 01:17:35.157 --> 01:17:36.078 Well, you're doing it wrong. 01:17:37.758 --> 01:17:38.999 You can see the webcam. 01:17:39.699 --> 01:17:42.560 Wow! 01:17:42.600 --> 01:17:43.800 Wrapping it round his face now. 01:17:44.020 --> 01:17:45.481 Don't wrap it round his handsome face. 01:17:46.321 --> 01:17:46.941 Okay, thank you. 01:17:46.961 --> 01:17:50.582 Now that wasn't... That wasn't... It's not the purpose of the invention. 01:17:51.283 --> 01:17:54.203 This is great radio, isn't it? 01:17:54.704 --> 01:17:55.604 You can undo him now. 01:17:55.704 --> 01:17:56.164 Poor guy. 01:17:56.184 --> 01:17:57.585 He looks as if he's been captured by Al Kagan. 01:17:57.605 --> 01:17:58.185 Listen, it's radio. 01:17:58.205 --> 01:18:00.085 It doesn't make any audio difference at all. 01:18:02.246 --> 01:18:03.086 Let's waterboard him. 01:18:03.266 --> 01:18:05.067 Who's got a bucket of water and a plank? 01:18:05.786 --> 01:18:10.187 Now, Richard, we were talking... Oh, no, I was going to tell you the real advantage of the jumper. 01:18:10.287 --> 01:18:10.828 Oh, yeah, what is it? 01:18:10.888 --> 01:18:12.868 Which is that, you know, do you wear scarves sometimes? 01:18:13.108 --> 01:18:13.748 Yes, sometimes. 01:18:13.908 --> 01:18:18.030 And you go indoors and you can't work out whether or not you want to take the scarf off. 01:18:18.510 --> 01:18:21.090 Well, this invention has removed that indecision. 01:18:21.250 --> 01:18:22.171 You can't take it off. 01:18:22.211 --> 01:18:26.812 No, I can't take it off, so it makes my day a little bit easier, because I know that I don't have to think about it. 01:18:26.832 --> 01:18:27.612 The scarf stays. 01:18:27.692 --> 01:18:32.234 Because if you do want to take it off, you're going to look like a raving ponce with these big, long trails coming up. 01:18:32.254 --> 01:18:33.494 You look like a sort of a funky monk. 01:18:37.399 --> 01:18:38.680 You know what, Richard? 01:18:38.860 --> 01:18:39.982 Will you stick around just for a second? 01:18:40.002 --> 01:18:40.322 Yes. 01:18:40.482 --> 01:18:42.505 Because I want to ask you about your tweeting career. 01:18:43.186 --> 01:18:45.469 OK, but we're going to play Florence and the Machine right now. 01:18:45.509 --> 01:18:46.350 This is Rabbit Heart. 01:18:47.358 --> 01:18:48.178 All right, calm down. 01:18:48.859 --> 01:18:52.620 Florence and the Machine there with rabbit heart brackets, raise the top. 01:18:53.241 --> 01:18:56.062 And unusually for us, we have a guest in the studio. 01:18:56.482 --> 01:19:00.684 We've only ever had two famous people in the studio on this program. 01:19:00.784 --> 01:19:02.425 One was Lord Roger Moore. 01:19:02.645 --> 01:19:03.305 Lord Sir Roger. 01:19:03.485 --> 01:19:04.806 And now it's Lord Richard Bacon. 01:19:04.986 --> 01:19:05.406 Hello there. 01:19:05.706 --> 01:19:06.707 Hey, how you doing? 01:19:06.767 --> 01:19:11.390 And the reason Richard is here is that we're welcoming in Richard to the Six Music Family. 01:19:11.490 --> 01:19:13.292 He starts at three o'clock this afternoon. 01:19:13.332 --> 01:19:14.353 This very afternoon, thank you. 01:19:14.393 --> 01:19:14.893 The family. 01:19:15.053 --> 01:19:16.494 It's an abusive family. 01:19:16.514 --> 01:19:18.936 You realise, dysfunctional, my princess. 01:19:19.176 --> 01:19:20.457 Anything for my princess. 01:19:20.978 --> 01:19:22.899 Joe's the non, or my little princess. 01:19:22.919 --> 01:19:23.480 I'm the what? 01:19:23.500 --> 01:19:24.540 The Six Music Family. 01:19:24.801 --> 01:19:25.881 That came out wrong, I didn't mean that. 01:19:25.901 --> 01:19:26.382 The Pons. 01:19:26.622 --> 01:19:27.983 I'm the part of Familias. 01:19:28.183 --> 01:19:29.524 I'm the Ray Winston character. 01:19:29.664 --> 01:19:31.506 I want anything for my princess. 01:19:31.986 --> 01:19:33.727 I'm the Tony Soprano of the family. 01:19:33.747 --> 01:19:34.228 Shut it. 01:19:34.628 --> 01:19:38.933 Now, Richard, we were talking before about your tweeting success. 01:19:39.013 --> 01:19:40.095 I mean, you love to tweet. 01:19:40.115 --> 01:19:40.835 You're on Twitter. 01:19:41.096 --> 01:19:42.337 Not only that, but you are. 01:19:42.397 --> 01:19:46.742 Am I wrong in saying like the number one most followed person in the UK? 01:19:46.963 --> 01:19:47.684 That is true. 01:19:47.884 --> 01:19:50.867 Even beyond Stephen Fry, beyond Jonathan Ross. 01:19:50.947 --> 01:19:51.047 Wow. 01:19:52.569 --> 01:19:55.190 And have you had any of the problems that Stephen Fry has had? 01:19:55.230 --> 01:20:00.293 He got a little hurt by a comment the other day and sort of said he was going to retire from the tweet verse. 01:20:00.333 --> 01:20:01.253 Yeah, he did. 01:20:01.373 --> 01:20:09.697 I occasionally get abuse, but I've kind of been used to that in being a presenter for some time and made the mistake of looking on forums and things. 01:20:10.098 --> 01:20:11.458 So, yeah, you get a bit of abuse. 01:20:11.498 --> 01:20:12.519 You just have to kind of walk it off. 01:20:12.939 --> 01:20:16.981 The reality is I am the most followed, but it's down to a clerical error. 01:20:17.501 --> 01:20:37.591 Because I used to bang on about Twitter in the press when I first started using it and Twitter in America were quite pleased about that and so they put me on their suggested user site and there's like a hundred people on the Twitter front page and I'm the only British person on there and it goes John McCain Demi Moore Ashton Kutcher Richard Bacon and so people all around the world follow me and 01:20:37.811 --> 01:20:40.774 Most people who follow me aren't in the UK and they have no idea who I am. 01:20:41.194 --> 01:20:50.762 So when I look at who's following me, there's people in South Korea and China and quite why they want to read about the fact that I've been to a restaurant and had smoked haddock. 01:20:51.603 --> 01:20:55.106 But then once they start responding to you, this is the thing I don't understand about Twitter. 01:20:55.266 --> 01:20:58.249 I went on it briefly for two weeks and then got scared and ran away. 01:20:58.269 --> 01:20:58.569 Did you? 01:20:58.809 --> 01:20:59.149 Yeah. 01:20:59.870 --> 01:21:04.535 And I keep thinking about maybe getting back involved with it, because I like the idea of it. 01:21:05.055 --> 01:21:08.519 But how do you manage all the comments that you're getting from these millions of people? 01:21:09.100 --> 01:21:09.880 Yeah, you do get a lot. 01:21:09.900 --> 01:21:13.224 Well, I suppose in the same way that you manage comments that you're getting now on text and email. 01:21:13.244 --> 01:21:14.925 Oh, yeah, I don't get millions. 01:21:15.566 --> 01:21:16.706 You know, some of them you ignore. 01:21:16.746 --> 01:21:22.387 And a lot of them, as I say, are people who are abroad and follow me for no reason and don't comment on what I say. 01:21:22.447 --> 01:21:23.908 So I don't really get millions of comments. 01:21:24.248 --> 01:21:32.489 But what did pay off last night, because I got invited to Downing Street, 10 Downing Street by Sarah Brown, because I have these followers on Twitter. 01:21:32.729 --> 01:21:35.690 I didn't tell her the truth of the matter, which is I don't actually have that many in Britain. 01:21:36.330 --> 01:21:40.351 And I went to something called the Downing Tweet Christmas Party. 01:21:40.551 --> 01:21:41.151 You what? 01:21:42.378 --> 01:21:43.339 are real. 01:21:43.999 --> 01:21:44.660 And who was there? 01:21:44.680 --> 01:21:46.802 Was Gordon Brown wondering around tweeting? 01:21:46.922 --> 01:21:48.183 Yeah, Gordon Brown was there. 01:21:48.443 --> 01:21:49.664 Flipping heck, Tucker. 01:21:49.944 --> 01:21:53.948 So are they not going to put pressure on you to use your tweet power for political good? 01:21:54.488 --> 01:21:59.933 Well, I mean, of course, in the interests of balance, it is probably important that I now get invited to dinner with the Camerons. 01:22:00.573 --> 01:22:03.976 And I mean, no need to particularly go for dinner with them. 01:22:04.016 --> 01:22:06.578 The BBC are very strict about vetting tweets, though, aren't they? 01:22:06.798 --> 01:22:31.535 They're getting stricter and they're gonna start and see why they're gonna check what I write before I put it up there Which will be a little bit strange and a bit difficult But anyways, it's the downing to eat Christmas party, which is a terrible pun for a party name And I was chatting to Sarah Brown at the end and she was banging on about six music presenter So I'll reveal later when I start my show at three which six music presenter Sarah Brown was banging on about whoa How's that for a tea? 01:22:31.575 --> 01:22:32.876 Maybe it's Gideon Co. 01:22:32.996 --> 01:22:34.217 What do you mean by banging on? 01:22:34.237 --> 01:22:34.277 Oh? 01:22:34.477 --> 01:22:36.659 Just, just, well, we'll find out later, Joe. 01:22:36.679 --> 01:22:37.779 Hmm? 01:22:37.799 --> 01:22:38.320 No, I'm guessing. 01:22:38.340 --> 01:22:41.302 What are you eating up my material? 01:22:43.203 --> 01:22:46.245 Richard, thank you so much for coming in and chatting to us. 01:22:46.466 --> 01:22:48.707 She's, no, just keep talking. 01:22:49.027 --> 01:22:49.868 Wash your mind out. 01:22:50.789 --> 01:22:51.629 Enjoy your show today. 01:22:51.689 --> 01:22:52.130 Thank you, Adam. 01:22:52.150 --> 01:22:53.150 Welcome to the Six Music. 01:22:53.591 --> 01:22:54.591 It's wonderful having you. 01:22:54.871 --> 01:22:57.193 I hope you have a wonderful and successful 10 year. 01:22:57.573 --> 01:22:58.614 Please don't swear. 01:22:58.934 --> 01:22:59.995 Try and hold yourself back. 01:23:00.095 --> 01:23:04.098 I know what you're like and try and be uncontroversial and try and keep the racism to a minimum. 01:23:04.258 --> 01:23:04.858 OK, fine. 01:23:04.958 --> 01:23:05.299 All right. 01:23:05.339 --> 01:23:06.219 Those are my top tips. 01:23:06.419 --> 01:23:06.679 All right. 01:23:06.779 --> 01:23:07.920 Avoid political opinions. 01:23:08.000 --> 01:23:09.841 Don't tell people which party to vote for. 01:23:09.861 --> 01:23:10.881 Yeah, that kind of thing. 01:23:11.042 --> 01:23:13.363 All your sick jokes that you're used to making. 01:23:13.483 --> 01:23:14.903 It's not a late night show, Richard. 01:23:15.064 --> 01:23:16.704 It's a fun family station, OK? 01:23:16.824 --> 01:23:17.185 I got it. 01:23:17.245 --> 01:23:17.545 Thank you. 01:23:17.705 --> 01:23:17.925 All right. 01:23:17.965 --> 01:23:18.385 Here's some music. 01:23:18.405 --> 01:23:19.786 This is Neil Young, the Cinnamon Girl. 01:23:21.781 --> 01:23:22.361 That's good. 01:23:22.521 --> 01:23:23.701 Neil Young with Cinnamon Girl. 01:23:23.741 --> 01:23:25.502 Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 01:23:25.662 --> 01:23:27.462 It's time for a few made up jokes. 01:23:28.282 --> 01:23:29.903 I'm a funny person. 01:23:30.363 --> 01:23:32.003 I often make up jokes. 01:23:32.363 --> 01:23:36.464 My jokes are more amusing than those of other folks. 01:23:37.144 --> 01:23:40.845 When you hear my joke, I think you'll find that you agree. 01:23:41.345 --> 01:23:45.146 Come on, you're all invited to a made up joke party. 01:23:45.986 --> 01:23:58.548 So this is the part of the show listeners where we ask you to submit jokes that you've authored yourself So every joke we read the author has claimed that it's their own original work And many authors are now telling us that they themselves have Google checked them. 01:23:58.748 --> 01:24:14.671 Yeah, so that's good very strict So hopefully these should be jokes You've never heard before if you have heard them before then it's either a coincidence or we've been lied to here's one from Mike Wheatley He says Sherlock Holmes is wandering around his grounds with Watson. 01:24:14.871 --> 01:24:14.991 No, no 01:24:15.231 --> 01:24:15.331 No, no. 01:24:15.492 --> 01:24:20.178 When they see all but one of the fruit trees have had their fruit stolen by birds. 01:24:20.879 --> 01:24:21.640 This is a good one. 01:24:21.800 --> 01:24:22.141 Is it? 01:24:22.241 --> 01:24:22.602 Yeah. 01:24:22.622 --> 01:24:25.265 So you ruined the set up there. 01:24:25.686 --> 01:24:27.188 Sherlock Holmes is wandering around his grounds. 01:24:27.208 --> 01:24:29.591 Well Sherlock Holmes jokes always have the same punchline. 01:24:29.611 --> 01:24:30.713 Doesn't matter! 01:24:31.624 --> 01:24:36.391 with Dr Watson when they see all but one of the fruit trees have had their fruit stolen by birds. 01:24:37.032 --> 01:24:41.378 The good doctor pondered why the remaining tree hadn't lost its sweet nutritious fruit. 01:24:42.079 --> 01:24:43.681 It's a lemon tree, my dear Watson. 01:24:44.322 --> 01:24:45.624 Cheers, Mike Wheatley. 01:24:46.505 --> 01:24:47.487 That's what Sherlock says. 01:24:47.907 --> 01:24:48.807 Don't search for it. 01:24:48.827 --> 01:24:49.727 It's a lemon tree. 01:24:50.288 --> 01:24:50.808 Sherlock. 01:24:51.088 --> 01:24:51.408 Come on. 01:24:51.548 --> 01:24:54.489 Obviously they're all going to be like elementary puns, but that's good. 01:24:54.509 --> 01:24:54.909 That's good. 01:24:54.949 --> 01:24:56.009 That's a lemon tree. 01:24:56.249 --> 01:25:01.010 You know, Sherlock Holmes there published started being published in 1875. 01:25:01.750 --> 01:25:08.312 So we're assuming that over 200, no, 125 years, no one has made that. 01:25:08.332 --> 01:25:09.372 But that's a reasonable assumption. 01:25:09.412 --> 01:25:09.872 Good, good, good. 01:25:10.112 --> 01:25:10.392 Correct. 01:25:10.772 --> 01:25:11.453 Here's another one. 01:25:11.853 --> 01:25:17.334 What you call a really fun Jovial and jolly person who gives out parking tickets, a terrific warden. 01:25:19.113 --> 01:25:19.313 from? 01:25:19.733 --> 01:25:21.734 Nial in Huddersfield. 01:25:21.814 --> 01:25:22.154 Nial. 01:25:22.634 --> 01:25:23.054 Nial. 01:25:23.454 --> 01:25:24.375 That's quite good, isn't it? 01:25:24.515 --> 01:25:25.335 Yeah, I like that one. 01:25:25.695 --> 01:25:27.156 Here's one from Tom Pegg in Nottingham. 01:25:27.536 --> 01:25:30.657 Hello chaps, I made up this joke this morning inspired by the weather forecast. 01:25:30.997 --> 01:25:35.418 Which region of England would you describe a man with longer than average? 01:25:36.018 --> 01:25:36.278 Sorry. 01:25:36.419 --> 01:25:36.599 Hello. 01:25:36.619 --> 01:25:37.359 I'll start again. 01:25:37.499 --> 01:25:37.899 Edit point. 01:25:38.799 --> 01:25:43.501 Which region of England would you use to describe a man with longer than average privates? 01:25:44.401 --> 01:25:45.162 East Anglia. 01:25:46.342 --> 01:25:46.923 East Anglia. 01:25:47.143 --> 01:25:47.783 East Anglia. 01:25:48.624 --> 01:25:49.324 East Anglia. 01:25:49.345 --> 01:25:49.905 East Anglia. 01:25:50.145 --> 01:25:50.866 That's quite good. 01:25:50.886 --> 01:25:51.966 He says, is this too rubbish? 01:25:52.106 --> 01:25:53.007 It's definitely original. 01:25:53.227 --> 01:25:55.048 I checked by Googling East Anglia. 01:25:55.249 --> 01:25:56.049 He's Danglia. 01:25:56.229 --> 01:25:57.110 And it got no results. 01:25:57.590 --> 01:25:58.851 Thanks and bye, Tom Pegg. 01:26:00.012 --> 01:26:02.433 This one from John Fraser, from Cooper in Fife. 01:26:03.274 --> 01:26:03.955 That's in Scotland. 01:26:04.355 --> 01:26:09.118 What do posh bees in Kensington do when they build a nest in an unusually tall tree? 01:26:09.939 --> 01:26:11.360 They have a high swarming party. 01:26:12.871 --> 01:26:13.732 That's good, isn't it? 01:26:13.752 --> 01:26:16.433 Sorry if I pronounced your home town wrong there, John Fraser. 01:26:16.513 --> 01:26:18.235 Everyone knows I can't pronounce nothing. 01:26:18.595 --> 01:26:18.955 Excellent. 01:26:18.995 --> 01:26:19.796 Here's my last one. 01:26:19.976 --> 01:26:20.856 This is from Andrew. 01:26:21.116 --> 01:26:23.878 He says, I remember today that I made up a joke about Motown once. 01:26:23.918 --> 01:26:25.499 I wonder if it qualifies as a made up joke. 01:26:25.839 --> 01:26:26.500 It goes like this. 01:26:26.980 --> 01:26:28.481 It's really cold in Motown. 01:26:28.901 --> 01:26:31.723 Do you even know what the maximum temperature is? 01:26:32.284 --> 01:26:33.304 No, no, I don't. 01:26:33.484 --> 01:26:33.945 What is it? 01:26:34.485 --> 01:26:36.006 Three degrees, four tops. 01:26:39.696 --> 01:26:40.216 No, that's funny. 01:26:40.256 --> 01:26:41.637 I put that one down as well, actually. 01:26:41.657 --> 01:26:44.099 Come on, three degrees, four tops. 01:26:44.759 --> 01:26:45.379 That's from Andrew. 01:26:45.399 --> 01:26:46.300 It's in a John Cleese film. 01:26:47.181 --> 01:26:49.102 That Sherlock Holmes joke, so I'm right. 01:26:49.242 --> 01:26:50.042 It's a lemon tree? 01:26:50.082 --> 01:26:52.224 Yeah, it's from 1977. 01:26:53.204 --> 01:26:55.426 The strange case of the end of civilisation as we know it. 01:26:55.706 --> 01:26:57.227 Mike, you lied to me, damn you! 01:26:57.487 --> 01:27:00.550 But, man, man, I could ded- I could deduce that one, man. 01:27:00.570 --> 01:27:03.072 Uh, Joe, have you got one more before we, uh, wrap things up? 01:27:03.112 --> 01:27:04.413 Oh, God, no! 01:27:04.513 --> 01:27:06.194 Folks, thank you so much for listening this week. 01:27:06.214 --> 01:27:07.415 Stay tuned for Liz Kershaw. 01:27:07.455 --> 01:27:08.036 She's coming up. 01:27:08.176 --> 01:27:08.596 Oh, I have. 01:27:09.317 --> 01:27:10.077 Sam from Glasgow. 01:27:10.117 --> 01:27:10.538 He says he's 12. 01:27:10.818 --> 01:27:11.579 I'm not sure I believe it. 01:27:11.639 --> 01:27:13.320 Who's the coolest person in the hospital? 01:27:13.920 --> 01:27:14.921 The ultrasound guy. 01:27:15.342 --> 01:27:16.663 Who replaces him when he's away? 01:27:17.063 --> 01:27:18.064 The hip replacement guy. 01:27:18.885 --> 01:27:20.387 Could that have been made up by a 12-year-old? 01:27:20.427 --> 01:27:20.647 Yes. 01:27:20.948 --> 01:27:22.009 It's a tissue of lies. 01:27:22.289 --> 01:27:23.931 Tune in next week at 10am. 01:27:23.951 --> 01:27:24.672 We'll be back here. 01:27:24.692 --> 01:27:27.115 Don't forget to download the podcast on Monday evening. 01:27:27.295 --> 01:27:27.996 Download it, mate. 01:27:28.336 --> 01:27:29.177 Here's the auteurs. 01:27:29.217 --> 01:27:30.459 This is Lenny Valentino. 01:27:30.499 --> 01:27:30.799 Bye-bye.