WEBVTT 00:01.014 --> 00:03.676 Welcome to the Big British Castle. 00:03.877 --> 00:07.419 It's time for Adam and Joe to broadcast on the radio. 00:07.680 --> 00:10.822 There'll be some music and some random talkie in between. 00:15.874 --> 00:21.075 Not sure I like the insinuations beneath putting that record at the top of our programme. 00:22.436 --> 00:26.937 Why you think they're implying that we are lunatics? 00:27.117 --> 00:27.357 Yes. 00:28.997 --> 00:30.918 Well, it's a Cold War song, though, isn't it? 00:31.458 --> 00:31.758 Yes. 00:31.958 --> 00:32.758 Does that make it better? 00:32.898 --> 00:33.599 Nuclear Threat. 00:33.659 --> 00:37.299 Yeah, it's a little political song because this is a lively, intelligent political debate show. 00:37.399 --> 00:37.860 So it is. 00:38.140 --> 00:39.100 So it is, yes. 00:39.580 --> 00:40.060 Don't forget. 00:40.080 --> 00:44.382 In fact, did you put a post on the Adam and Jo blog? 00:44.562 --> 00:44.862 Yes. 00:45.202 --> 00:48.284 To that end, I need to talk to you about that later. 00:48.604 --> 00:49.124 Oh really, why? 00:49.164 --> 00:54.066 Well, you made an executive decision on behalf of both of us and announced it on the blog, didn't you? 00:54.557 --> 00:55.338 What did I announce? 00:55.518 --> 00:56.459 To do with the dog. 00:56.880 --> 00:58.001 Yeah, what about the dog? 00:58.241 --> 01:01.805 You announced a stance that the programme would take towards the dog. 01:02.586 --> 01:03.166 On the blog. 01:03.567 --> 01:04.127 Oh, I see. 01:04.188 --> 01:05.089 A blog stance. 01:05.469 --> 01:06.250 A bugging stance. 01:06.270 --> 01:07.271 A dog stance blog. 01:07.331 --> 01:08.172 Yeah, yeah. 01:08.472 --> 01:09.814 You didn't consult cornballs. 01:10.455 --> 01:11.996 Well, I thought we were agreed on that. 01:12.416 --> 01:13.937 Well, let's talk about it later. 01:14.077 --> 01:14.578 Alright then. 01:14.798 --> 01:17.160 We don't want to kick off the show with a terrible contre d'en. 01:18.540 --> 01:20.082 It'd be good to kick it off. 01:20.242 --> 01:21.663 Let's make this a really argumentative show. 01:21.703 --> 01:22.223 Shut up! 01:22.343 --> 01:25.465 Shut your mouth, you raving ponce machine. 01:26.086 --> 01:26.626 That's me. 01:26.846 --> 01:27.206 Yeah. 01:27.386 --> 01:28.227 Good morning, listeners. 01:28.827 --> 01:29.888 This is Joe speaking. 01:30.068 --> 01:31.249 Raving ponce machine. 01:31.269 --> 01:32.570 AKA. 01:32.930 --> 01:35.032 This is Adam Buckley's Buxton. 01:35.672 --> 01:36.372 What's mine want to cook? 01:36.432 --> 01:36.973 Nice guy. 01:37.253 --> 01:37.793 Oh, don't. 01:37.833 --> 01:38.353 Good friend. 01:38.373 --> 01:39.274 Don't act like that. 01:39.314 --> 01:40.454 Don't come on. 01:40.794 --> 01:42.775 Rise to the challenge, Ponce Machine. 01:42.795 --> 01:44.056 What kind of a challenge is that? 01:44.616 --> 01:45.996 It's the Ponce Machine Challenge. 01:46.016 --> 01:47.557 It's the greatest challenge of all. 01:47.657 --> 01:48.517 Rude and aggressive. 01:48.557 --> 01:50.198 Yes, that challenge. 01:50.698 --> 01:51.138 Can't do it. 01:51.779 --> 01:53.499 We've got a great show lined up for you listeners. 01:53.519 --> 01:53.800 Do we? 01:54.000 --> 01:54.720 Full of mystery. 01:55.160 --> 01:56.881 Things that even we don't know about. 01:57.321 --> 01:58.361 A mystery program. 01:58.381 --> 01:58.781 That's true. 01:58.921 --> 02:00.022 Actually, no, we've got a lot, man. 02:00.042 --> 02:01.422 We've got a lot to pack in these days. 02:01.442 --> 02:02.503 You know, we get so many emails. 02:02.523 --> 02:03.463 We've got a lot of features. 02:04.303 --> 02:09.085 We've got a load of people responding to the phonetics thing that you were talking about last week. 02:09.765 --> 02:16.368 We've got some good sentences that you can say and make yourself instantly sound as if you are the master of accents. 02:16.628 --> 02:20.049 It's going to be like children in need without the charitable aspect. 02:20.389 --> 02:20.829 Exactly. 02:21.069 --> 02:21.309 Right. 02:21.329 --> 02:22.290 Sort of excruciating, you mean. 02:23.750 --> 02:25.731 Well, if you took away the charitable aspect. 02:25.911 --> 02:26.891 Yeah, yeah, excruciatingly. 02:26.931 --> 02:30.993 I mean, the charitable aspect helps lift the excrutiatism. 02:31.113 --> 02:33.294 Yeah, excruciatingly. 02:35.875 --> 02:37.175 And we should do some made up jokes. 02:37.195 --> 02:38.236 We haven't done that for ages. 02:38.616 --> 02:39.576 Yeah, for two weeks. 02:39.616 --> 02:40.297 That is ages. 02:40.377 --> 02:41.357 It is ages. 02:41.457 --> 02:43.118 It's been more than two weeks, isn't it? 02:43.918 --> 02:44.398 Maybe it has been. 02:44.418 --> 02:45.779 Yeah, because we were away the week before that. 02:46.719 --> 02:47.039 Wow. 02:47.139 --> 02:48.240 It's been almost a month. 02:48.260 --> 02:50.301 Well, I've got loads in my arsenal. 02:52.301 --> 02:52.461 Yeah. 02:52.983 --> 02:58.055 Okay, listen, let's play some music, though, and I can chat to Joe about the bogging situation, get that sorted out. 02:58.637 --> 03:00.601 This is Mumford and Sons with Winter Winds. 03:01.789 --> 03:04.310 That was Mumford and Sons with Winter Winds. 03:04.390 --> 03:07.752 They're working the Mariachi angle, as our producer James is pointing out. 03:07.772 --> 03:13.615 That seems to be the sound du jour, you know, a lot of brass and kind of fiesta feel. 03:13.655 --> 03:14.695 What is Mumford and Sons? 03:14.735 --> 03:15.836 Was it an old sitcom? 03:16.476 --> 03:17.236 It sounds like it, doesn't it? 03:17.257 --> 03:19.398 But no, they're totally... that's a new creation. 03:19.818 --> 03:20.478 Are you sure? 03:20.778 --> 03:21.338 Pretty sure. 03:21.399 --> 03:22.939 They haven't taken that name from anywhere. 03:22.979 --> 03:23.900 I'm pretty sure they have. 03:23.980 --> 03:24.260 Have you? 03:24.580 --> 03:29.542 I mean, it definitely has the sound of something sepia-tainted. 03:29.622 --> 03:31.723 Oh, you're doing a Google right in the middle of the studio. 03:31.763 --> 03:32.063 Not yet. 03:32.083 --> 03:32.984 I'm going to do a Google. 03:33.984 --> 03:34.584 Disgusting. 03:35.105 --> 03:37.926 So Joe's obsessing about stats there while we were playing that song. 03:37.946 --> 03:41.387 Well, the statistical aspects of our black squadron are very important to me. 03:41.487 --> 03:46.910 How else can High Command monitor the precise volume and tactical strength of the squadron? 03:47.050 --> 03:47.630 Why are you laughing? 03:48.090 --> 03:49.951 Just laughing at your obsession with stats. 03:50.232 --> 03:51.192 Yeah, it's funny, isn't it? 03:51.232 --> 03:56.116 But it won't be so funny when Black Squadron bring you down very suddenly from out of the shadows. 03:56.136 --> 03:57.317 Why are they bringing me down? 03:57.377 --> 03:58.357 Because you're laughing at them. 03:58.737 --> 03:59.238 Oh, I see. 03:59.398 --> 04:02.220 Yeah, Black Squadron take themselves and their duties very seriously. 04:02.280 --> 04:03.060 Right, Black Squadron? 04:03.841 --> 04:04.601 Yeah, I could hear that. 04:04.902 --> 04:05.362 They agreed. 04:06.883 --> 04:07.323 It did. 04:07.343 --> 04:09.745 So I actually could see the manic look in Joe's eyes. 04:09.885 --> 04:10.486 Absolutely 04:11.486 --> 04:17.191 I'm not threatening your stat supremacy. 04:17.812 --> 04:26.459 Listen, last week's Black Squadron Command, which was felt pen tattoo, had 134 responses. 04:26.539 --> 04:28.180 129 were published on our blog. 04:28.380 --> 04:35.406 And remember, if you do respond to the Black Squadron Command with a photo, by sending it in, you agree to have it displayed on the blog. 04:36.507 --> 04:39.490 And so there were five pictures that could not be displayed on the blog. 04:40.050 --> 04:41.251 For taste and decency reasons. 04:41.271 --> 04:42.792 For taste and decency reasons, yeah. 04:43.253 --> 04:43.413 Yeah. 04:43.713 --> 04:44.734 Might have a look at those later. 04:46.155 --> 04:47.456 Special focus on those. 04:48.296 --> 04:49.397 So that's pretty good, isn't it? 04:49.437 --> 04:51.459 That's a response of 134 members. 04:51.499 --> 04:52.960 That's a good, a very good squadron. 04:53.320 --> 04:53.901 Very good, yeah. 04:54.101 --> 04:54.681 Don't you think? 04:54.781 --> 04:55.542 Excellent squadron. 04:55.682 --> 04:56.903 Do you know what I think we should do? 04:57.263 --> 05:01.646 We should do some square bashing in just off Burgcage Walk. 05:02.087 --> 05:03.328 What, hurting square people? 05:03.928 --> 05:05.390 We could do that as well afterwards. 05:05.931 --> 05:09.595 Yeah, just running through central London, bashing square people. 05:09.915 --> 05:10.817 It's marching, you know. 05:11.217 --> 05:12.639 It's what military units do. 05:12.879 --> 05:13.720 Are you in the army? 05:13.740 --> 05:15.042 You know a lot of all this stuff. 05:15.102 --> 05:16.804 It's a fairly well-known phrase. 05:16.884 --> 05:17.525 Square bashing. 05:17.545 --> 05:18.246 Square bashing. 05:18.266 --> 05:20.168 I've got family in the British military. 05:20.348 --> 05:20.909 Right, right. 05:21.329 --> 05:50.449 uh yeah but they we could do some of that you black squadron would look magnificent don't you think dressed up in all their finer ranks with their toast and bacon bracelets with their toast in their pocket basically they've just got toast around their problem biscuits yeah egg and mouth with their pan hats the tourists would stop to take photos of that don't you think yes with their standing there with their pants in the street it should be televised by the bbc on a sunday afternoon don't you think get james made to host it the queen should give a speech people should lay wreaths 05:51.329 --> 05:55.870 Why doesn't the queen, you know, I would have more respect for the queen if she did her queen speech with her. 05:55.890 --> 05:58.431 And no one could have more respect for the queen than you. 05:58.811 --> 05:59.231 Well, that's true. 05:59.251 --> 05:59.611 Already. 05:59.772 --> 06:00.392 No, I like the queen. 06:00.412 --> 06:01.832 I'm pro queen, right? 06:02.052 --> 06:02.972 All aspects of queen. 06:03.173 --> 06:03.433 Love it. 06:04.033 --> 06:14.276 But I would have more respect for queen if she did her queen speech with an egg in the mouth and with the bacon bracelet and with some toast peeping out of the corner of her little pocket. 06:14.296 --> 06:14.916 It's going to happen. 06:14.976 --> 06:17.117 And with her pants, just her pants on in the street. 06:17.277 --> 06:18.277 It's our democratic right. 06:18.857 --> 06:21.698 Is that controversial to say that about the Queen? 06:22.138 --> 06:22.719 What have you said? 06:22.899 --> 06:28.841 That she should do the Queen's speech with just her pants on in the street with an egg in her mouth and toast coming out of her pants. 06:28.861 --> 06:29.241 Not at all. 06:29.261 --> 06:30.601 I think it's very acceptable. 06:30.621 --> 06:32.782 That's not disrespectful, strictly speaking, is it? 06:33.723 --> 06:34.903 No, it's not. 06:35.123 --> 06:35.723 It's definitely not. 06:35.963 --> 06:36.924 Should we dwell on it? 06:37.444 --> 06:39.825 No, we should move on because it's absolutely not disrespectful. 06:40.766 --> 06:42.908 So we've got a new Black Squadron command coming up. 06:43.208 --> 06:46.512 Remember, photos are charged. 06:46.592 --> 06:49.495 If you send a photo, it was charged at the usual rate. 06:49.515 --> 06:50.776 You've got to say this stuff, right? 06:50.796 --> 06:52.738 I didn't do it so well this week. 06:52.758 --> 06:54.840 Our producer James has never actually asked us to do it. 06:54.880 --> 06:56.221 Joe's sort of taken it upon himself. 06:56.241 --> 06:58.844 He asks me, he doesn't burden you with that kind of functionality. 06:59.144 --> 07:00.506 He knows that my brain is too small. 07:01.207 --> 07:02.728 So have I said everything that needs to be said? 07:02.748 --> 07:03.309 Yeah, okay. 07:03.969 --> 07:12.272 So, yeah, we're going to issue a command and remember, if you are a Black Squad member, it means you listen live between 9 and 9.30am to this programme. 07:12.292 --> 07:15.133 We're going to give you a couple of words as a command. 07:15.473 --> 07:18.414 You have to take a photo that adheres to those words. 07:19.034 --> 07:19.874 Is that a good description? 07:19.894 --> 07:20.174 Very good. 07:20.494 --> 07:22.475 And then send it in to 64046. 07:23.275 --> 07:24.516 That's 64046. 07:25.376 --> 07:31.918 You didn't say, you said the calls will be charged at your standard rate, but you didn't say, and from mobiles will be considerably more. 07:32.998 --> 07:57.524 and deck no I didn't say that but they'll all be being sent from mobiles will they unless you send them by email in which case they're free so yes we've given out the details for black squadron they know how to get in touch they know the text number it's all taken care of right yeah absolutely so after joe issues the command we're going to fire off my first replay of the day which is a lovely old bit of scar 07:58.004 --> 08:27.330 from Lord Kitchener talking about his wife's nighty but I always think that he's saying my white nighty so he's he's complaining that someone's run off with me white nighty which makes me think of Lord Kitchener as a kind of amiable cross dresser that's the way I like to think of this song anyway here's here's the command for Black Squadron now be careful with this command as usual take into consideration health and safety clear away any sharp or dangerous subjects before you follow this command here comes the command squadron stand by 08:28.110 --> 08:28.850 Sit in bin! 08:35.232 --> 08:37.613 They love to sit in bins, our listeners. 08:37.913 --> 08:38.233 Do they? 08:38.273 --> 08:39.333 Yes, we've got pictures coming in. 08:39.353 --> 08:39.754 Look at that. 08:39.814 --> 08:42.494 There's a lot of people in very small waste paper bins. 08:42.974 --> 08:45.155 She looks terribly happy about sitting in the bin. 08:45.195 --> 08:46.135 She's going to crush that bin. 08:46.155 --> 08:46.816 That's a little bath. 08:46.836 --> 08:47.336 She's not sitting in it. 08:47.356 --> 08:48.336 She's light as a feather. 08:48.756 --> 08:49.456 She's doing this. 08:49.496 --> 08:50.177 She's anonymous. 08:50.717 --> 08:52.677 That lady's just got one foot in the bin. 08:52.937 --> 08:53.898 Is that really sitting? 08:54.918 --> 09:11.363 he's well in that bin look at that topless in his pj bottom do you like sitting in bins is this why you thought of the command uh i just wanted to see some people in bins and and of course it factors into the big operation the major black i mean it's it's a field skill yeah 09:12.543 --> 09:21.410 You know, this really happened in the army though, there would quite rightly be questions asked about whether it was appropriate to humiliate your soldiers this way. 09:21.510 --> 09:22.851 Well, why is it humiliating? 09:23.031 --> 09:24.732 Why is it humiliating to make someone sit in a bin? 09:24.912 --> 09:25.212 Yes. 09:27.994 --> 09:29.095 Yeah, yeah, go on. 09:29.495 --> 09:32.938 Well, because you are literally implying that they are rubbish in some way. 09:37.821 --> 09:42.223 They could be merely crushing the rubbish so they can fit more refuse in there. 09:42.243 --> 09:43.143 And that's better, is it? 09:43.403 --> 09:45.684 Yeah, that's just a very practical use of the bottom. 09:45.704 --> 09:45.944 Yeah. 09:46.344 --> 09:49.325 Now, listen, chaps, you're all intelligent people. 09:49.345 --> 09:52.867 What we're going to do today is get you to crush some rubbish with your bottom. 09:53.067 --> 09:55.027 Tell me that's humiliating. 09:56.048 --> 09:57.488 There's a guy stood inside. 09:57.748 --> 09:58.249 What's he done? 09:58.449 --> 10:01.990 Well, he stuck his feet out the bottom of the bin, so he's like a walking dustbin. 10:02.150 --> 10:02.450 Yeah. 10:02.550 --> 10:04.192 Tell me that's demeaning in any way. 10:04.352 --> 10:13.681 It's one of those big, tall, aluminium dustbins, those stainless steel ones, and he's standing right in it and he's got his feet poking out the bottom like he's a kind of R2D2. 10:13.721 --> 10:17.665 This one's got a touch of the... Like Kenny Baker's feet poking out from the bottom of R2. 10:19.166 --> 10:20.547 These are extraordinary photos. 10:20.747 --> 10:22.068 Congratulations Black Squad. 10:22.088 --> 10:23.568 There's someone in a wheelie bin outside. 10:23.588 --> 10:23.909 That's good. 10:23.949 --> 10:25.589 He's outside his house in the street. 10:25.809 --> 10:26.310 And that's impressive. 10:26.330 --> 10:27.650 And he's poking out of a wheelie bin. 10:27.670 --> 10:28.471 Who's that person? 10:28.711 --> 10:30.071 He's in the black wheelie bin as well. 10:30.092 --> 10:31.112 That's the disgusting one. 10:31.152 --> 10:32.112 Theo, Mark and a wheelie bin. 10:32.173 --> 10:33.473 Are there two of them in there? 10:33.973 --> 10:36.475 Maybe Mark took the photo or one of them took the photo. 10:37.415 --> 10:40.016 You could understand if they were in the recycling bin, right? 10:40.036 --> 10:42.657 Because the recycling bin generally is less wiffle-ocious. 10:42.737 --> 10:43.397 Soft stuff. 10:43.437 --> 10:47.778 But in the black bin, there's maggots and stuff living at the bottom of our black bin. 10:48.138 --> 10:49.539 You wouldn't want to go anywhere near it. 10:49.619 --> 10:53.700 It seems to be very evenly distributed across the genders as well, the bin sitting. 10:53.760 --> 10:55.801 Sometimes we get a male or female bias. 10:56.701 --> 10:58.582 Both the sexes love to sit in bins. 10:58.782 --> 10:59.782 Well, it's a sexy place. 11:00.642 --> 11:02.163 It just feels good on your body. 11:02.663 --> 11:02.923 Sure. 11:03.404 --> 11:05.065 Let's make love in the bin. 11:05.305 --> 11:06.747 Baby, baby, I love you. 11:07.167 --> 11:08.928 You're a trashy, trashy woman. 11:08.968 --> 11:10.390 Let's make love in the bin. 11:10.410 --> 11:11.571 That's the Isley Brothers, isn't it? 11:11.591 --> 11:11.771 Yeah. 11:12.151 --> 11:14.793 It's classic Isley Brothers, who's used on a lot of Tarantino films. 11:16.294 --> 11:18.837 And do you regularly wash out your bin? 11:18.857 --> 11:20.518 Sorry to go on a tangent, but I'm curious. 11:22.780 --> 11:24.521 Like, you know, your big black wheelie bin. 11:24.962 --> 11:26.983 Do I regularly wash out my bin? 11:27.083 --> 11:27.464 Yeah. 11:27.644 --> 11:27.884 No. 11:28.164 --> 11:28.405 Why? 11:29.085 --> 11:30.046 Are you that confident? 11:30.767 --> 11:32.829 In my bin's fragrance-ity. 11:33.029 --> 11:33.450 Exactly. 11:35.412 --> 11:44.402 I would wash it out if there was something really stinky in there, if it started to stink, but otherwise I'd just let it live in its natural funk. 11:44.642 --> 11:46.264 Let the little communities grow up in there. 11:46.284 --> 11:46.925 Yeah, exactly. 11:47.906 --> 11:49.948 A diverse biological environment. 11:50.148 --> 11:55.013 The next thing is, don't the foxes ever get to your rubbish and stuff and spill out the umskar? 11:55.033 --> 11:55.534 Not really. 11:55.554 --> 11:59.819 They've designed London bins to be fox resistant. 11:59.959 --> 12:00.479 Umskar. 12:00.579 --> 12:02.021 It's a with, nail and eye word. 12:02.041 --> 12:02.441 That's right. 12:02.922 --> 12:09.950 But sometimes when, maybe it's because we're a family, we've got so much rubbish sometimes, it piles up, you can't close the lid properly. 12:10.650 --> 12:12.252 And some councils have a problem with that. 12:12.292 --> 12:17.017 If you've got, like, more than six inches of the lid peeking up, they won't take your rubbish away. 12:17.057 --> 12:18.118 Depends what council you've got. 12:18.459 --> 12:20.961 Plus you guys get through a lot of packaging, don't you? 12:20.981 --> 12:26.427 Because you're always foraging and you're picking stuff up off the street and your car's full of rubbish and... 12:26.687 --> 12:27.247 It's absolutely true. 12:27.267 --> 12:32.952 You push that big trolley full of all the rubbish and all the bags you have with you when you go around the place. 12:33.352 --> 12:34.313 Isn't that you, I see? 12:34.773 --> 12:37.015 Are you getting back at me because of the SAT stuff I said? 12:37.055 --> 12:40.378 No, I just think that, yeah, no, yes, I am. 12:42.524 --> 12:44.546 That was just quite a powerful image in my head. 12:44.606 --> 12:46.748 Look at that, there's a whole family in Wheelie Bins. 12:46.788 --> 12:49.190 One's in the glass, one's in the paper, one's in the can. 12:49.210 --> 12:51.031 This is glorious stuff, thank you. 12:51.071 --> 12:52.252 What a day for Britain. 12:52.312 --> 12:54.274 You've made a couple of old men very happy. 12:55.075 --> 12:56.516 And I'm not talking about us. 12:56.836 --> 12:58.497 Hang on, I should credit those people. 12:58.518 --> 12:59.779 I'm talking about a couple of other old men. 12:59.799 --> 13:00.899 Joe, Johnny and Francis. 13:01.240 --> 13:04.302 I repeat, Joe, Johnny and Francis, that's extraordinary work. 13:04.442 --> 13:08.586 Gonna play a bit of music right now and we'll stand down the squadron after massive attack with Karma Coma. 13:09.542 --> 13:15.292 Kama Kama Kama Kama Kama Kameleon They come and go 13:16.621 --> 13:17.381 They come in. 13:17.462 --> 13:19.303 That's what I always think when I see that song. 13:19.323 --> 13:20.343 They're very different songs. 13:20.363 --> 13:21.204 They are different, aren't they? 13:22.084 --> 13:23.465 That one's more dark. 13:23.485 --> 13:24.306 It is darker. 13:24.626 --> 13:25.586 Did you make it in Roma? 13:25.606 --> 13:27.347 Did you make an aroma? 13:27.628 --> 13:28.728 What's he talking about in there? 13:28.748 --> 13:29.809 Did you make an aroma? 13:29.889 --> 13:30.589 Did you make an aroma? 13:30.649 --> 13:31.050 I didn't. 13:31.290 --> 13:31.690 Did you? 13:31.710 --> 13:33.231 Ooh, calmer, calmer. 13:33.591 --> 13:34.712 Did you make an aroma? 13:35.913 --> 13:37.574 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 13:37.594 --> 13:38.854 That was Massive Attack, of course. 13:39.215 --> 13:40.916 We are going to stand down Black Squadron right now. 13:40.936 --> 13:41.436 Here's the jingle. 13:45.260 --> 13:53.031 Stand down, your work is done You've earned yourself a nice warm bath And maybe a nice little barn in mine 13:56.229 --> 13:57.269 Enjoy your bath and your bun. 13:57.489 --> 13:59.070 It's 9.30. 13:59.290 --> 14:00.150 It's time for the news. 14:00.710 --> 14:01.711 I want to take you higher. 14:01.911 --> 14:03.471 That's Lie in the Family Stone. 14:03.491 --> 14:05.192 Hey, listeners, this is Adam. 14:05.472 --> 14:06.232 Hey, this is Joe. 14:06.272 --> 14:09.953 This is the Adam and Joe radio show here on BBC Six Music. 14:10.573 --> 14:14.555 I was saying earlier that the band Mumford and Sons... Is that what they're called? 14:14.575 --> 14:14.795 Yeah. 14:15.335 --> 14:21.257 ...reminded me of a sitcom, which is, of course, Sanford and Sons, which was the American version of Stepto and Sons. 14:21.397 --> 14:21.597 Right. 14:22.037 --> 14:23.719 That's what it was reminding me of. 14:23.919 --> 14:25.740 Well, it's easy, easy mistake to make. 14:25.800 --> 14:28.302 Only a couple of letters, different four letters. 14:28.983 --> 14:29.563 So there you go. 14:29.864 --> 14:30.944 That's what was in your mind. 14:31.365 --> 14:32.186 It's fair enough, man. 14:32.486 --> 14:33.226 Don't worry about it. 14:33.467 --> 14:34.247 Hey, don't worry. 14:34.267 --> 14:34.888 Don't cry. 14:34.908 --> 14:37.250 Why are you crying? 14:37.310 --> 14:38.551 Oh my goodness. 14:38.591 --> 14:40.132 That's it. 14:40.172 --> 14:40.412 Come on. 14:40.432 --> 14:42.014 Hey, put yourself together. 14:42.634 --> 14:43.174 For goodness sake. 14:43.194 --> 14:43.454 I did it. 14:43.494 --> 14:43.794 I did it. 14:43.834 --> 14:44.655 I pulled myself together. 14:44.675 --> 14:45.195 You really did. 14:46.815 --> 14:48.036 That's it. 14:48.116 --> 14:48.896 I'm on form. 14:49.896 --> 14:50.476 Back on top. 14:50.616 --> 14:59.019 So listen, folks, we're going to play the retro text donation jingle very shortly, but I want to talk to you, Joe, and apologize to you about 15:00.919 --> 15:04.242 getting so worked up about this whole jingle business last week. 15:04.362 --> 15:07.964 On the show, listeners, I was complaining actually in a comedic way. 15:07.984 --> 15:11.327 It was supposed to be like deliberately over the top comedic whining. 15:11.927 --> 15:22.715 I was complaining about the fact that everyone loves Joe's retro-textination jingle, including my wife, and all I seem to get is abuse for using garage band loops for my jingles, right? 15:23.095 --> 15:25.217 I wasn't really that serious about it. 15:25.557 --> 15:27.959 I was having a little chicle-chuckle, okay? 15:29.420 --> 15:40.729 And very kindly and very loyally, a lot of listeners responded throughout the week by email and stuff, but kind of went too far the other way, like they were being really nice about my jingles, but then they were sort of laying into Joe a little bit. 15:40.769 --> 15:45.513 And I felt kind of bad and protective towards Joe because that was not my intention at all. 15:46.574 --> 15:52.779 So I'd like to read out a message from John in High Wiccan, which I think is quite even-handed and redresses the balance a little bit. 15:53.239 --> 15:56.622 High count Cornu Lees and Buck Balls, he calls us, 15:57.662 --> 16:00.423 I just thought I'd drop you a line regarding all this jingle nonsense. 16:00.863 --> 16:07.624 Adam contributes a great deal to the show with his jingles whilst Joe sits atop a lofty throne sneering at Bucky's efforts. 16:07.964 --> 16:09.625 How is this for addressing the balance? 16:09.645 --> 16:11.025 Well, I think he's joking there, right? 16:11.345 --> 16:13.065 This is clearly becoming an issue for Adam. 16:13.605 --> 16:15.986 He's playing along with the fact that I was getting mocked. 16:16.006 --> 16:20.987 So like you, he is also joking even though he's offered us no indication. 16:21.527 --> 16:22.207 What's the fact? 16:22.307 --> 16:23.168 Yeah, no, I'm waiting. 16:23.328 --> 16:31.230 However, it has to be said that the retro-texanation jingle in all its forms is nothing short of spectacular, he says in capitals. 16:31.790 --> 16:40.273 Of all the jingles and songs, it is the one that persistently returns to my psyche and at any moment I could break into song without needing to think of the words. 16:40.653 --> 16:42.033 I'm a trash man myself. 16:42.274 --> 16:43.674 He doesn't like it in the bin. 16:43.994 --> 16:44.274 OK. 16:45.194 --> 16:56.318 I wanted to send you this in the hope that, like a lucky shopper, I might be the thousandth e-mailer to praise Joe's wonderful song this week, and that this e-mail might be the one to fully push Adam over the edge. 16:57.378 --> 16:59.899 Yours, hopefully, reaching... Well, it's had the opposite effect. 16:59.979 --> 17:00.959 It's pushed you onto the edge. 17:00.999 --> 17:11.902 Yeah, no, it's made me contrite and made me embarrassed that I was implying to the listeners that I genuinely resent your deserved success with the retro-textination jingle. 17:12.242 --> 17:21.146 I mean, I don't mind at all, but I can't help feeling your fishing for compliments with your emotional outlays. 17:21.246 --> 17:21.866 Yeah, yeah. 17:22.026 --> 17:23.227 Well, yeah. 17:23.327 --> 17:25.088 Yeah, I was. 17:25.128 --> 17:27.589 You're playing kind of games, aren't you? 17:28.509 --> 17:29.830 I genuinely didn't mean to. 17:30.470 --> 17:33.432 We always talk about that we've never read the games people play. 17:33.892 --> 17:34.152 Oh, yeah. 17:34.272 --> 17:34.792 Do you remember? 17:34.992 --> 17:35.192 Sure. 17:36.633 --> 17:42.219 Well, if that was happening somewhere in my subconscious, then I genuinely apologize, Joe. 17:42.559 --> 17:44.081 Yeah, that's all right. 17:44.341 --> 17:45.302 I love your retro. 17:45.542 --> 17:50.668 I used to listen to Adam and Joe, but I listened to the podcast, not the live. 17:50.688 --> 17:54.632 Well, you can hear it for real now because it's retro text the next time because I couldn't. 17:55.172 --> 18:11.390 I'd like to listen to Adam and Jo, but I listen to the podcast, not the live show I used to feel acute frustration, cause I couldn't join in with text the nation But now my worries have disappeared, because we've dropped text the nation city And now my mail might be read out instead of thrown in the trash and forgotten about 18:12.386 --> 18:12.746 Love it. 18:13.187 --> 18:13.747 Thanks, man. 18:13.787 --> 18:14.388 Brilliant jingle. 18:14.648 --> 18:21.254 And Retro Text the Nation this week is all about reasons you think you're psychic because of the fact that that was the subject last week. 18:21.414 --> 18:21.954 Yeah, that's right. 18:22.435 --> 18:25.397 And we've had many interesting and exciting contributions during the week. 18:25.438 --> 18:27.079 Thank you to everybody who emails. 18:27.399 --> 18:35.166 And remember, if you're listening to this on Listen Again or the podcast or something, you too can join in with this week's Retro Text the Nation subject. 18:35.226 --> 18:35.566 No! 18:36.067 --> 18:38.409 With next week's Retro Text the Nation show. 18:38.689 --> 18:39.049 Shut up. 18:39.730 --> 18:41.331 with this week's Text the Nation segment. 18:41.351 --> 18:41.631 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 18:41.651 --> 18:42.332 Thanks, man. 18:42.492 --> 18:43.353 You know what I'm trying to say. 18:43.473 --> 18:45.114 Yeah, you were saying that you too can join in. 18:45.174 --> 18:46.415 Yeah, you too can join in. 18:46.435 --> 18:48.697 Bono, the edge. 18:48.757 --> 18:48.857 Hey! 18:48.877 --> 18:49.457 Hey! 18:49.477 --> 18:51.379 I don't think anyone's made that joke before. 18:51.599 --> 18:52.099 I'm the king! 18:52.620 --> 18:54.941 This one is from Laura Beatty. 18:54.981 --> 18:55.662 This is a good one. 18:55.822 --> 18:56.102 Okay. 18:56.222 --> 19:02.347 Dearest buckles and corn balls, I'm pretty sure that I have the power to short-circuit machinery when scared. 19:02.407 --> 19:02.827 Ooh. 19:03.268 --> 19:06.630 The haunted house at Alton Towers broke down whilst I was on it. 19:07.211 --> 19:08.872 Samuel I at Chessington broke down. 19:09.252 --> 19:10.133 whilst I was on it. 19:10.754 --> 19:13.536 X No Way Out, comma, Sammy Ride. 19:13.556 --> 19:14.377 Are they the same ride? 19:14.397 --> 19:17.220 I think X No Way Out is a different ride, isn't it? 19:17.560 --> 19:18.641 Broke down while I was on it. 19:18.982 --> 19:23.006 Loggers Leap at Thorpe Park broke down whilst I was on them. 19:23.506 --> 19:26.890 And Space Mountain at Euro Disney broke down while I was on it. 19:27.690 --> 19:30.753 This was actually while I was actually on them, not just in the park. 19:31.594 --> 19:35.776 And on some occasions I was left in the dark dangling in the air for quite some time. 19:36.857 --> 19:43.420 One time I got freaked out watching my little brother on a mousetrap ride and that broke down too. 19:43.520 --> 19:46.701 So either I have telekinetic powers or I'm really unlucky. 19:47.061 --> 19:48.002 Love Laura Beatty. 19:48.422 --> 19:50.303 I would say you've got telekinetic powers Laura. 19:50.563 --> 19:53.705 You know, X no way out broke down while I was on it as well. 19:54.706 --> 19:57.007 I think it might just be a feature of the ride. 19:57.648 --> 20:01.370 It sort of pretends to stop and break down and then goes backwards. 20:01.610 --> 20:07.494 It's quite painful and uncomfortable and abrupt ride when we went on it. 20:07.514 --> 20:09.515 Do you remember us going on it about 10 years ago? 20:11.096 --> 20:13.299 I went on a roller coaster for the first time the other day. 20:13.319 --> 20:15.742 It was an X-Files themed ride, wasn't it? 20:15.782 --> 20:16.703 That shows how old it is. 20:16.723 --> 20:17.624 Yeah, there you go. 20:17.684 --> 20:18.245 X no way out. 20:18.305 --> 20:22.990 Yeah, for the first time in quite a long time I went on a roller coaster and was shocked by how violent it was. 20:23.030 --> 20:23.971 I was totally unprepared. 20:24.172 --> 20:24.612 I love them. 20:24.692 --> 20:26.274 I came off and I was all aches and pains. 20:26.294 --> 20:27.816 I was like, oh dear, my back. 20:27.836 --> 20:30.079 I'm not going to do that again. 20:30.119 --> 20:30.659 I'm too old. 20:31.420 --> 20:31.960 I'm too old. 20:32.060 --> 20:33.081 I like it. 20:33.401 --> 20:35.002 So that's pretty frightening stuff isn't it? 20:35.142 --> 20:38.664 I would be disturbed if I was in a theme park with Laura Beatty. 20:39.004 --> 20:40.845 It reminds me of that film The Fury. 20:42.006 --> 20:45.008 Do you remember there's this kind of an indoor theme park? 20:45.228 --> 20:45.508 Sure. 20:45.988 --> 20:51.672 And there's some men on a wheelie wheel and it goes crazy and they get flung off. 20:51.732 --> 20:52.092 Do you remember? 20:52.112 --> 20:52.932 It's horrific stuff. 20:53.293 --> 20:53.853 It's wizard. 20:54.253 --> 21:21.886 it's absolutely wizard of course it's fictional because it's in a film and if that happened in reality that would be frightful best bit in the fury is when she's hovering on the roof or he's he's hovering and not on a roof he's in a room and he's hovering on the ceiling above the door that's right spooky scary good film have you got any retro text the nation's yeah i've got one that isn't that spooky but i was impressed about who it was from um this is from a guy called phil thornally you know phil well i know the one you're going to read yeah 21:22.446 --> 21:24.628 Phil Thornely listens to this show. 21:24.748 --> 21:26.709 He co-wrote Torn by Natalie and Bruglia. 21:26.949 --> 21:27.189 Wow. 21:27.309 --> 21:30.732 He produced Pornography by The Cure, their best album, I think. 21:30.832 --> 21:32.973 Oh, and this is the Thompson Twins guy, the guy that mixed. 21:32.993 --> 21:38.477 Yeah, and he was in The Cure for a while, and he... Would it have been into the gap he mixed, or...? 21:38.497 --> 21:39.898 I think it... Or Quick Step and Sidekick. 21:39.918 --> 21:40.899 Quick Step and Sidekick. 21:41.519 --> 21:43.941 Judy Do was the track that he talks about here. 21:44.001 --> 21:47.223 He was the recording engineer on that Thompson Twins record. 21:47.543 --> 22:01.232 Anyway, Phil says, and that is impressive, that is a roster of impressive credits, not least the Thompson Twins connection from Phil, and he writes in and says, Dear Adam and Jo, your theme about psychic moments reminded me of this story. 22:01.573 --> 22:07.297 Although it's not psychic, strictly speaking, it is spooky and cosmic and perhaps precognisant. 22:07.917 --> 22:15.042 I was working as a recording engineer on a Thompson Twins record, a production idea that was de rigueur at the time after Talking Heads and David Byrne did it. 22:15.943 --> 22:19.746 on My Life in the Bush of Ghosts, involved recording what was coming out of a radio. 22:20.086 --> 22:22.809 Sort of found music, random, arty, etc. 22:23.189 --> 22:25.891 We set up the radio and the microphone and hit record. 22:26.152 --> 22:30.876 The song that came out of the radio as the track rolled was performed by Judy Garland. 22:31.036 --> 22:35.980 Spookily, the track we were recording was called Judy Do, about Judy Garland. 22:36.775 --> 22:38.758 Is this crap, he says at the end of the year? 22:39.138 --> 22:40.060 No, it's not, the message. 22:40.320 --> 22:40.801 No, not at all. 22:40.841 --> 22:42.082 Thanks, Phil, in Kilburn. 22:42.623 --> 22:46.228 And we're humbled and excited that you listen to the programme. 22:46.388 --> 22:48.812 Not my favourite Thompson Twins track though, Judi Dood. 22:48.832 --> 22:49.433 Do you remember that one? 22:49.855 --> 22:51.296 I do remember it, yeah. 22:51.476 --> 22:54.418 I was trying to think of a Thompson twins track that I could bring in as a free play. 22:54.438 --> 22:55.419 I couldn't really think. 22:55.459 --> 22:56.179 Hey! 22:56.819 --> 22:57.560 What would be a good one? 22:57.620 --> 22:59.181 What are you implying? 22:59.401 --> 23:04.424 That's not a single Thompson twins track that's good enough to play on the radio in this day and age. 23:04.644 --> 23:06.786 Are you really saying that? 23:06.806 --> 23:08.066 Yeah, I couldn't think of a single one. 23:08.106 --> 23:09.487 That's an astonishing thing to say. 23:09.507 --> 23:10.268 Because we loved them. 23:11.238 --> 23:13.560 Are you taking my breath away? 23:13.880 --> 23:15.241 Take your breath away. 23:16.121 --> 23:20.264 You know, listen, there was no bigger Thompson Twins fan than myself or you. 23:20.444 --> 23:21.805 No, I can think of many. 23:22.025 --> 23:25.628 I'm going to do a triple Thompson Twins free play next week. 23:25.688 --> 23:26.028 Go on then. 23:26.048 --> 23:26.468 I dare you. 23:26.529 --> 23:26.849 I will. 23:26.969 --> 23:28.150 And they'll all be winners with Zed. 23:28.410 --> 23:29.631 I'm not sure they will. 23:29.671 --> 23:33.934 Here's one final retro text the nation email all about psychic powers. 23:33.954 --> 23:35.234 This is from Heidi Wort. 23:36.215 --> 23:39.177 Once, I was very drunk in a takeaway after a heavy night out. 23:39.237 --> 23:41.938 There was an idiot hole throwing his noodles at the wall. 23:42.779 --> 23:47.922 This outraged me in my drunken stupor, and I started to confront him shouting, would you do that in your own house? 23:48.682 --> 23:50.944 Soon we were engaged in a slanging match. 23:51.584 --> 23:55.286 It was quickly getting out of control, so my friend dragged me outside, consoling me. 23:55.606 --> 23:57.848 Oh, he'll get what's coming to him. 23:58.328 --> 23:59.429 I replied, I hope so. 24:00.069 --> 24:04.812 Just then, the culprit ran out of the takeaway after me, only to be suddenly hit by a car. 24:05.452 --> 24:05.692 What? 24:05.872 --> 24:07.474 I couldn't believe what I'd done. 24:07.694 --> 24:08.735 I was quite shaken. 24:09.256 --> 24:13.660 Luckily he was fine and he walked away, but I will never use my dark talents again. 24:13.680 --> 24:15.802 Who's that from? 24:15.822 --> 24:16.402 That's pretty good. 24:16.462 --> 24:17.163 Heidi Wart. 24:17.363 --> 24:18.224 Heidi Wart. 24:18.244 --> 24:19.225 Don't mess with Heidi. 24:19.545 --> 24:20.766 She'll use her dark talents. 24:21.847 --> 24:23.608 Especially if you're throwing noodles against the wall. 24:24.549 --> 24:26.450 Why would you throw your noodles against a wall? 24:26.571 --> 24:27.711 Just discussed it with the noodles. 24:27.751 --> 24:30.833 What kind of attitude to life is that? 24:31.454 --> 24:35.297 Go into a noodle shop, order some noodles, wait patiently for them to be freshly cooked. 24:35.657 --> 24:37.438 They're handed to you over the counter. 24:37.958 --> 24:40.320 You simply pick them up and throw them against the wall. 24:40.340 --> 24:42.902 What if they're bad noodles? 24:42.922 --> 24:44.443 That's like a sort of art statement. 24:44.583 --> 24:45.023 Exactly. 24:45.043 --> 24:46.745 Because some of them would stick to the wall as well. 24:46.785 --> 24:48.166 Maybe he was a conceptual artist. 24:48.206 --> 24:48.626 Could have been. 24:49.636 --> 24:50.077 Exactly. 24:50.357 --> 24:53.261 You don't want to jump to conclusions. 24:53.321 --> 24:55.163 Actions like that aren't necessarily thuggish. 24:55.424 --> 25:03.474 It could have been Anish Kapoor throwing noodles against the wall with Alan Yentob sitting cross-legged on the floor with his chin in his hand thinking. 25:05.137 --> 25:09.120 Did you see Alan Yentop doing his thing on Anishka Poor? 25:09.421 --> 25:10.182 No, I didn't, no. 25:10.202 --> 25:16.107 I love on documentaries like that the way the presenter like Alan Yentop incorporates themselves. 25:16.208 --> 25:22.634 The way they have to do shots of him looking at the work and the expression on Mr Yentop's face as he looks at the work. 25:22.654 --> 25:23.675 They show you how to respond. 25:23.795 --> 25:27.719 Brilliant man, obviously, but it's hard to come out of those things with that much dignity. 25:27.859 --> 25:28.480 Alan Tenyob. 25:30.221 --> 25:31.822 Anyway, listen, we're waffling all over the place. 25:31.842 --> 25:38.846 Thank you very much to everybody who contributed to Retro Text the Nation, particularly there, Heidi, and the other person. 25:39.406 --> 25:48.292 And, you know, I'd like to say this at this point, we do get so many messages in, we read them all, and I think both of us feel bad that we can't read more of them out, you know? 25:48.972 --> 26:14.234 and a lot of people on air yeah and a lot of people ask us to do sort of dedications and shout outs and stuff like that and I always feel bad that we aren't able to do more of those I mean obviously we could but then it would just dominate the whole show if we started doing them you know what I mean yeah I'm happy we don't yeah exactly so you're happy yeah I think why please one listener with a shout out when there's lots of others that's what I'm saying yeah exactly I mean I'd like to please them all is what I'm saying 26:14.674 --> 26:15.555 in an ideal world. 26:15.735 --> 26:17.536 In an ideal world. 26:17.817 --> 26:18.917 La la la la la. 26:18.977 --> 26:19.678 Who was that then? 26:20.138 --> 26:21.239 It was by the Lion King. 26:21.459 --> 26:22.760 It was the Christians, wasn't it? 26:23.541 --> 26:24.201 Nobody knows. 26:25.242 --> 26:25.843 What's this then? 26:26.043 --> 26:27.324 Ellie Goulding. 26:27.384 --> 26:28.605 Now what do we know about Ellie Goulding? 26:28.685 --> 26:29.646 Let's tell them afterwards. 26:29.846 --> 26:30.506 Let's just kick it in. 26:30.526 --> 26:31.427 This is called Under the Sheet. 26:32.168 --> 26:35.411 Ellie Goulding, that is, with Under the Sheets. 26:35.511 --> 26:36.772 Scores out of five, please, Joe. 26:37.592 --> 26:44.258 I would give that... Well, you see, I was about to be honest, but that would have been a bit shocking, so I'm going to give it three. 26:45.857 --> 26:48.179 Were you gonna... was your honest response to give it none? 26:48.700 --> 26:54.905 Well, I think I would need to listen to it a few more times because it's wrong to judge a song on the first play, isn't it? 26:55.005 --> 26:55.265 Is it? 26:55.345 --> 26:56.886 No, that's what songs are designed for. 26:57.247 --> 26:58.488 Oh, do you think so? 26:58.548 --> 27:03.332 A lot of my favourite albums I found impenetrable on first listening. 27:03.392 --> 27:03.712 Really? 27:03.972 --> 27:09.817 Don't you think we've discussed this before, but really good albums tend to open up like a flower over time? 27:10.137 --> 27:14.720 Yes, but you have to kind of vaguely like the smell of that flower in the first place. 27:15.141 --> 27:22.206 I agree, that's true, but sometimes when you think something's a killer on the first listen, it'll fade after two or three plays. 27:22.266 --> 27:25.588 Yeah, but what if you think it's an absolute stinker and you never want to go near it ever again? 27:27.229 --> 27:29.871 Do you not ever come back to albums sort of five years later? 27:30.632 --> 27:35.095 Well, I wouldn't go out and buy an album in the first place if I thought it was absolutely turgid, you know what I mean? 27:35.695 --> 27:38.057 Yeah, you have done though in the past, right? 27:38.717 --> 27:40.378 Just because a magazine's told you it's good. 27:40.458 --> 27:40.718 Oh, I see. 27:40.738 --> 27:41.959 And then you've ended up buying it. 27:42.299 --> 27:47.303 Yeah, but only because they kind of have said, if you like this, you'll maybe like this kind of thing. 27:47.323 --> 27:51.425 And I've fallen for that old... Anyway, I need to give Ellie a bit more time. 27:51.726 --> 27:58.450 It reminded me of the work of the lady from X Factor with a lot of makeup on. 27:58.470 --> 27:58.830 Cheryl Cole. 27:58.970 --> 27:59.591 Cheryl Cole. 28:00.191 --> 28:00.491 Right. 28:00.751 --> 28:03.273 Have you seen her new military dance video? 28:03.313 --> 28:04.374 I didn't see that, yes. 28:05.134 --> 28:07.196 What kind of squadron is she part of with that animal? 28:07.256 --> 28:08.116 Sexy squadrons. 28:08.216 --> 28:08.577 Sexy? 28:08.597 --> 28:09.277 Do you like coal? 28:10.858 --> 28:12.539 I kind of, yeah. 28:12.559 --> 28:13.840 Do you want a kiss? 28:14.000 --> 28:14.961 Cheryl Cole. 28:15.261 --> 28:16.061 I'd give her a kiss. 28:16.081 --> 28:16.482 Little kiss? 28:16.762 --> 28:17.322 On the pecker. 28:17.502 --> 28:19.664 Sure. 28:20.024 --> 28:21.405 That's the word for lips. 28:22.305 --> 28:22.846 Your pecker. 28:24.958 --> 28:25.679 Right? 28:25.959 --> 28:26.219 Right. 28:26.419 --> 28:28.360 Listen, here's a free play, right? 28:28.380 --> 28:28.801 Chicken lips. 28:29.501 --> 28:30.782 I want to talk about Cheryl Cole. 28:31.222 --> 28:32.663 Cheryl Cole's pecker. 28:33.103 --> 28:35.685 Here's a question. 28:35.725 --> 28:39.528 Do you ever drive your partner insane by playing a record over and over and over again? 28:40.688 --> 28:41.709 I don't get the opportunity. 28:41.729 --> 28:44.690 Do you not like to play music around the house? 28:46.711 --> 28:47.991 No, it doesn't happen that often. 28:48.051 --> 28:48.412 Doesn't it? 28:48.492 --> 28:49.732 No, it happens in the car a bit more. 28:49.952 --> 28:50.272 Does it? 28:50.332 --> 28:53.694 And they've been doing it to me, but they've been enjoying Cheryl Cole's new single, is why I asked you. 28:53.734 --> 28:54.254 Have they, really? 28:54.334 --> 28:55.815 I'm playing it over and over in the car. 28:57.016 --> 28:57.316 Really? 28:57.336 --> 28:59.838 Well, they listen to Radio 1, they listen to Moils and he plays it. 29:00.178 --> 29:00.598 Really? 29:00.758 --> 29:01.619 Yeah. 29:01.679 --> 29:08.663 I bought this album by a band called Mayer Hawthorne called A Strange Arrangement while I was in America and I really enjoy it. 29:08.703 --> 29:12.986 I've been playing it over and over again and driving my girlfriend lady partner Potty. 29:13.206 --> 29:13.847 She not so keen? 29:14.107 --> 29:16.148 Well, she liked it at first, but now it's wearing thin. 29:16.569 --> 29:17.469 I can't get enough of it. 29:18.050 --> 29:19.731 So she's probably listening to the show at home. 29:20.131 --> 29:23.673 I thought I'd continue to ruin her life by playing my favourite song from it. 29:23.713 --> 29:24.854 This is by Mayer Hawthorne. 29:24.894 --> 29:26.015 It's called Maybe So, Maybe Not. 29:26.056 --> 29:26.159 No. 29:30.999 --> 29:37.700 Once in larger mounds, they're grabbing hands, grab all they can. 29:38.421 --> 29:42.001 Everything counts in larger mounds. 29:42.221 --> 29:43.322 That was Margaret Thatcher. 29:43.602 --> 29:45.122 Wait, everything counts. 29:45.142 --> 29:46.542 She was in Depeche Mode for a while. 29:46.662 --> 29:47.063 She was. 29:47.103 --> 29:47.823 In the early 80s. 29:47.863 --> 29:48.463 Did you know that? 29:48.523 --> 29:49.943 Just after Vince Clark left. 29:49.963 --> 29:50.643 Did you know that? 29:50.823 --> 29:51.824 Yeah, I did. 29:52.084 --> 29:52.944 They got Thatcher in. 29:53.204 --> 29:53.924 Everyone knows that. 29:54.384 --> 29:55.364 Because everyone was like, what? 29:55.764 --> 29:56.985 Thatcher's joined Depeche Mode. 29:57.005 --> 29:57.765 What's that all about? 29:58.525 --> 29:58.805 Yeah. 29:59.166 --> 30:04.550 And she used to produce a little sort of self-published magazine, didn't she? 30:04.730 --> 30:04.991 Yeah. 30:05.211 --> 30:06.792 It's called the magazine. 30:07.593 --> 30:10.235 All about that band. 30:10.395 --> 30:10.635 Yeah. 30:10.695 --> 30:13.197 She was very big on the indie punk scene. 30:13.878 --> 30:14.999 Bondage punk. 30:15.339 --> 30:16.380 Indie bondage punk. 30:16.620 --> 30:16.921 Yeah. 30:17.661 --> 30:22.145 That's why it was such a surprise when her political views went so right. 30:22.165 --> 30:22.545 Yeah. 30:22.625 --> 30:23.926 Isn't life fascinating? 30:23.986 --> 30:25.608 It is a funny old thing, isn't it, life? 30:25.988 --> 30:27.088 It's a funny old world. 30:27.128 --> 30:31.450 It's a chucklesome little cup of soup there, isn't it? 30:31.890 --> 30:32.090 Yep. 30:32.250 --> 30:32.750 Sorry about that. 30:33.851 --> 30:36.052 So, Joe, you're a big I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here fan. 30:36.392 --> 30:38.733 I... no, I'm not. 30:39.073 --> 30:40.813 You've been glued to it this week? 30:40.833 --> 30:41.073 Nope. 30:41.293 --> 30:41.534 Right? 30:41.834 --> 30:45.555 Well, me and my wife have been glued to the I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. 30:45.815 --> 30:46.115 Right. 30:46.135 --> 30:47.996 We absolutely unreservedly love that show. 30:48.656 --> 31:04.146 Every year, I have the same tedious fantasy about being invited to appear on it and discuss it in lengthy detail with my wife, the actual practicalities of flying out to Australia, whether she would come out, how exciting it would be to be in the hotel. 31:04.526 --> 31:09.890 If I was voted out fairly quickly, I'd probably be voted out within the first few vote-offs. 31:10.230 --> 31:12.492 I wouldn't mind because I'd get more time in the hotel. 31:13.252 --> 31:14.953 all this kind of stuff we talk about. 31:15.373 --> 31:20.155 Then we talk about like, probably I'm not going to get invited to be on the show because I'm not sufficiently famous. 31:20.395 --> 31:27.958 Also, they don't generally invite kind of ludicrous comedian type people on there because they've learned that they don't really work so well. 31:27.998 --> 31:31.319 The dynamic is thrown off by those kind of people because they're too self-aware. 31:31.699 --> 31:34.100 You know, they need more ridiculous type people on there. 31:34.460 --> 31:36.801 We have all these discussions every night. 31:36.821 --> 31:39.822 It's like news night around at our house in front of I'm a celebrity. 31:40.203 --> 31:40.903 Get me out of here. 31:41.263 --> 31:46.485 And at the moment, we're going through the difficult first week where you're getting used to the celebrities that are in there. 31:47.266 --> 31:52.528 And there's always a feeling of disappointment like chemistry is not as good as in previous years. 31:52.568 --> 31:56.830 You know, you haven't got the really sparky people to set things off. 31:57.310 --> 32:17.532 Colin and Justin I like Colin and Justin, you know, the thing is that really you suddenly find yourself having opinions and relationships with all these people who were in your periphery Before yeah, but suddenly you're like Oh Colin and Justin now I understand like I'd never seen a show with them in it before You know, I knew of them, but now I know about them. 32:17.552 --> 32:17.572 I 32:18.052 --> 32:19.474 I like Colin and Justin. 32:20.355 --> 32:21.296 Do you know Colin and Justin? 32:21.316 --> 32:22.597 Oh, you're sure I know Colin and Justin. 32:22.617 --> 32:23.258 Do you like them? 32:24.059 --> 32:24.339 Yeah. 32:24.559 --> 32:25.760 I like them. 32:25.901 --> 32:26.381 As people. 32:26.541 --> 32:27.722 Yeah, like Green Eggs and Ham. 32:28.663 --> 32:29.264 As Sam I am. 32:29.324 --> 32:29.584 I do. 32:29.664 --> 32:30.846 I like Colin and Justin. 32:30.866 --> 32:31.567 That's good. 32:31.607 --> 32:32.568 It's good to like things. 32:32.648 --> 32:35.230 Yeah, he's an intelligent guy, Justin. 32:35.371 --> 32:36.552 Hey, what about Colin though? 32:36.972 --> 32:42.273 Are you saying he's... Well, I'm sort of amused by the way their relationship is so clearly delineated, you know what I mean? 32:42.313 --> 32:44.814 Like, which one is the dominant partner in that relationship? 32:44.854 --> 32:48.355 I think it's the first time they've had a couple in the jungle in that way. 32:48.375 --> 32:50.055 Which one is the dominant one in your relationship? 32:50.756 --> 32:52.836 I don't want to go into that on the radio. 32:52.876 --> 32:54.156 Of course, all kinds of problems. 32:54.637 --> 32:55.777 Gino de Campo. 32:56.237 --> 32:56.937 Did you know him? 32:57.377 --> 32:57.597 Nope. 32:57.917 --> 32:58.798 Never aware of Gino. 32:58.818 --> 32:59.898 He's some chef, I think. 33:00.038 --> 33:02.419 Maybe on Can't Cook, Won't Cook, or one of those Ready, Steady Cook. 33:02.459 --> 33:02.819 I don't know. 33:02.919 --> 33:03.559 Some cook show. 33:04.180 --> 33:11.139 And he's kind of a crazy Italian man, you know, and he talks like this, literally like this, and he says, mama mia, and things like that. 33:12.355 --> 33:13.236 It's great, Joe. 33:13.256 --> 33:14.336 You should see the program. 33:14.716 --> 33:15.677 It sounds terrific. 33:15.697 --> 33:16.757 Do you know the camper? 33:17.018 --> 33:17.618 Yeah, good. 33:17.658 --> 33:18.999 He's a big comedy Italian man. 33:19.019 --> 33:20.239 He's a funny Italian man. 33:20.259 --> 33:21.460 I like his nice guy. 33:21.500 --> 33:22.520 Like our Super Mario Brothers. 33:22.560 --> 33:23.281 Yeah, exactly. 33:23.321 --> 33:24.602 Like our Super Mario Brothers. 33:24.622 --> 33:25.342 My mama Mia. 33:25.362 --> 33:26.723 My mama Mia. 33:26.783 --> 33:27.783 My mama Mia, Joe. 33:27.803 --> 33:29.504 I can't believe this. 33:30.145 --> 33:32.346 That sounds like a larger-than-life character. 33:32.366 --> 33:33.586 He's a larger-than-life character. 33:33.626 --> 33:34.047 You're right. 33:34.987 --> 33:35.828 You like a capacitor? 33:35.868 --> 33:36.869 He's very enthusiastic. 33:37.310 --> 33:43.756 Speaking of broad Italian caricatures, I watched a very serious art film this week called The Wages of Fear, right? 33:43.916 --> 33:45.118 He's into that film! 33:45.138 --> 33:51.324 There's a character called Lu... It was very intense, it's believed montand, it's about people transporting nitroglycerin. 33:51.364 --> 33:52.085 It's very famous. 33:52.185 --> 33:52.445 Didn't I? 33:52.465 --> 33:53.106 I took a listen, didn't I? 33:53.126 --> 33:55.388 Yes, there's a character in it called Luigi. 33:55.829 --> 33:56.890 B-b-boom, bang! 33:57.170 --> 34:11.425 who is a big Italian man, and he's dressed exactly like Luigi from Super Mario Brothers with a little cap, a little bandana around his neck, an open shirt and a hairy chest, he's short and fat, and his arms are sticking out to the side all of the time. 34:11.545 --> 34:12.006 Bing! 34:12.406 --> 34:13.067 A mushroom! 34:15.309 --> 34:18.451 Yeah, I couldn't concentrate on the vast opacity of it. 34:18.611 --> 34:21.572 Yeah, because I was hearing little one-up noises. 34:21.672 --> 34:27.775 Sometimes, you know, Italians do, you get a lot of Italians who do conform to that stereotype in a very pleasing way. 34:27.795 --> 34:29.896 Is that a problem statement? 34:30.296 --> 34:30.656 I don't know. 34:30.716 --> 34:31.617 It's a fun statement. 34:31.937 --> 34:32.637 I like it. 34:32.677 --> 34:37.499 Like, I like it when I meet French people who are exactly like a grotesque caricature of a French person. 34:37.519 --> 34:38.560 Oh, come in. 34:41.161 --> 34:41.661 that kind of thing. 34:41.942 --> 34:43.203 And they exist, these people. 34:43.443 --> 34:43.843 I love that. 34:44.804 --> 34:46.725 Joe Boogner, he's in there in the jungle. 34:46.746 --> 34:47.726 Do you remember Joe Boogner? 34:48.207 --> 34:49.147 Is he a boxing man? 34:49.167 --> 35:02.118 Yeah, he's a big boxing man and he's a bit South African, not too extremely South African, but he's a bit South African and he's very funny because he talks about, he knows a lot about the jungle and he talks about, you've got to watch out for the ticks. 35:02.478 --> 35:09.944 because the ticks are going to get up in your scalp there and they're going to burrow right into your brains and they will kill you before you know what's even happening. 35:10.164 --> 35:17.791 And all the rest of the campers are all sat around looking ashen-faced and frightened with his stories of imminent death about the ticks and the spiders and all the things you've got to watch out for in the jungle. 35:18.351 --> 35:24.917 But the big, obviously, headline-grabbing person in the jungle is Katie Price aka Jordan, right? 35:24.997 --> 35:25.957 Where do you stand on Jordan? 35:27.318 --> 35:28.559 Literally, I have a literal answer. 35:29.179 --> 35:30.199 Which part of her body? 35:30.299 --> 35:30.819 No, boobs. 35:31.399 --> 35:33.060 Of course you do, yeah. 35:33.500 --> 35:36.621 Anyway, but are you pro-price or anti-price? 35:36.721 --> 35:37.521 Any opinion whatsoever? 35:37.581 --> 35:38.641 Not really. 35:38.701 --> 35:39.382 Sort of blanking? 35:40.022 --> 35:41.062 Blanking price. 35:41.082 --> 35:42.903 Did you ever watch her reality show with Ponderay? 35:43.243 --> 35:43.463 No. 35:43.843 --> 35:44.043 Never. 35:44.683 --> 35:45.723 Oh yeah, no, of course I did. 35:45.743 --> 35:46.123 Yeah. 35:46.424 --> 35:47.784 I side with Ponderay though, don't I? 35:47.864 --> 35:48.224 Do you? 35:48.304 --> 35:49.304 Yeah, I'm on Ponderay's side. 35:49.404 --> 35:53.266 Because you think she's too abrasive to brash that kind of thing? 35:56.902 --> 36:02.889 They're looking at me with your Louis Theroux face, as if this is a really serious... It is a serious question! 36:03.089 --> 36:06.653 You don't like it when we discuss hot topic issues. 36:06.673 --> 36:08.855 So clear you're going to flip this round. 36:08.996 --> 36:10.177 No, I'm not flipping it round. 36:10.197 --> 36:14.341 Because obviously she's demonstrated how sensitive and lovely she is now, right? 36:14.421 --> 36:14.662 Yes. 36:15.022 --> 36:15.543 Yes. 36:18.065 --> 36:18.265 Right. 36:18.645 --> 36:19.746 I'm not flipping it around. 36:20.026 --> 36:26.747 I'm just saying maybe it's my natural desire to side with the underdog, but I feel sorry for the girl. 36:27.467 --> 36:27.808 Okay. 36:28.428 --> 36:28.968 And I like her. 36:28.988 --> 36:32.729 There's something I like about her and I can't tell what maybe she reminds me of an old girlfriend or something. 36:32.749 --> 36:36.150 Listen, surely they should fly you out for the ITV2 program. 36:36.210 --> 36:37.130 That's what I'm hoping. 36:37.150 --> 36:38.230 I mean, I agree. 36:38.250 --> 36:44.972 You might not be famous enough a public figure to go on the actual program, but you could be with that parade of 36:46.092 --> 36:48.073 People on the ITV2 programme. 36:48.093 --> 36:48.593 Desperate losers? 36:48.653 --> 36:50.434 Is that what you were thinking? 36:50.454 --> 36:50.494 No. 36:51.035 --> 36:51.675 Commentators. 36:51.715 --> 36:52.195 Yeah, yeah. 36:52.755 --> 36:54.196 They'd put you up in the hotel for that. 36:54.276 --> 36:54.476 Come on. 36:54.556 --> 36:55.216 I wish they would. 36:55.236 --> 36:58.238 Unless they've put a lot of other desperate losers up in that hotel. 36:58.838 --> 37:00.519 Surely I could fit in there too. 37:01.039 --> 37:03.921 But I am obsessed by Katie Price a little bit, right? 37:04.401 --> 37:07.363 I like the fact that when she's in the jungle, she doesn't wear so much makeup. 37:07.403 --> 37:09.345 She looks very beautiful, I feel. 37:09.765 --> 37:12.187 And there's something nice and vulnerable about her. 37:12.707 --> 37:14.008 And I feel sorry for her. 37:14.048 --> 37:21.473 It's like, I mean, I know, yes, obviously she courts publicity and she's sort of obsessed by it and she's insane in many ways. 37:21.833 --> 37:26.016 But I do believe there's a little scared girl underneath trying to get out. 37:26.696 --> 37:27.977 And I want to help her. 37:27.997 --> 37:29.598 Do you understand? 37:30.118 --> 37:30.479 Also, 37:32.032 --> 37:35.194 She's, you know, Ilia Dumond or Balcon. 37:35.775 --> 37:36.035 Yeah. 37:36.395 --> 37:36.795 That's true. 37:36.835 --> 37:37.636 You know what I'm saying? 37:37.656 --> 37:40.438 There are some magazines I could recommend you that you might like reading. 37:40.658 --> 37:42.299 I've got a song though that I want to play for you. 37:42.319 --> 37:45.201 I was moved to create a song for Katie Price. 37:45.261 --> 37:45.481 Right. 37:46.041 --> 37:48.183 And you remember last week I was getting you to sing along without him. 37:48.283 --> 37:48.743 Yeah. 37:48.883 --> 37:52.346 This, my singing on this is a little bit like that because I got this jingle. 37:52.366 --> 37:57.509 This is a prepackaged jingle that I'm singing over and I couldn't, instead of making up the tune as I went along. 37:57.729 --> 37:59.611 But anyway, here's my song for Katie Price. 38:00.171 --> 38:01.532 It can't be easy. 38:02.652 --> 38:31.423 to go back to the jungle without hondre close at hand singing insania trying to unlock your celebrity chest and instead you've got the battle axe from how clean is your house putting you down for playing the same game they're all playing but getting paid much much more 38:32.875 --> 38:55.192 Katie Price, take my advice Get away from the flipping lot They've only got your breast and breasts at heart Like you're some kind of tart Katie Price, it can't be nice Getting cockroaches in your bra 38:56.331 --> 39:02.377 While lanterns echo, ha ha Oh dear Katie, are you alright? 39:02.417 --> 39:15.149 You're in trouble in the water there Jordan, let her go Don't you know that you're smothering a sweet girl called Kate? 39:16.420 --> 39:20.465 Who doesn't have your tough exterior? 39:20.785 --> 39:25.330 Katie, have you worked out the price of fame? 39:25.871 --> 39:34.200 Maybe it's too high a price to pay How I wish that you'd get back with Andre 39:38.143 --> 39:39.824 So that's a song for Katie Price there. 39:40.204 --> 39:41.725 Very profoundly moving. 39:42.005 --> 39:42.725 Thank you very much. 39:42.925 --> 39:44.806 I'm hoping maybe she'll hear it and I can get together with her. 39:45.247 --> 39:45.987 Well, clearly. 39:47.208 --> 39:49.829 Listen, man, why don't you just go there? 39:50.389 --> 39:50.569 What? 39:50.609 --> 39:51.550 Fly myself to Australia? 39:51.590 --> 39:51.750 Yes. 39:52.050 --> 39:53.031 Still expensive. 39:53.151 --> 39:54.311 You could go economy. 39:54.431 --> 39:59.014 One of those student flights that stops at 10 places, they're cheaper than you. 39:59.114 --> 39:59.774 Listen, I'll pay. 39:59.794 --> 40:00.294 All right. 40:00.814 --> 40:05.357 But I think you should go there and really try and get in there. 40:05.857 --> 40:06.757 Force yourself upon them. 40:06.817 --> 40:07.278 It's my dream. 40:08.118 --> 40:09.079 Well, it can come true. 40:09.219 --> 40:09.820 Thank you very much. 40:10.060 --> 40:10.821 Here's some music now. 40:10.981 --> 40:12.723 After this, I think we'll have a go at text the nation. 40:12.763 --> 40:14.805 This is Echo and the Bunnymen, the Gilling Moon. 40:15.525 --> 40:17.407 It's my mum's favourite Bunnymen song. 40:17.607 --> 40:17.908 Really? 40:18.108 --> 40:18.468 Loves it. 40:19.049 --> 40:20.490 She's got very good taste in music, your mum. 40:21.011 --> 40:21.731 She does, yeah. 40:22.032 --> 40:22.772 Travelling Wilburys. 40:22.892 --> 40:25.375 Maybe if I'm busy at all, she could sit in for me. 40:25.675 --> 40:25.955 Mm-hmm. 40:25.975 --> 40:28.317 Do you think you'd do a good show if you co-presented with your mum? 40:28.357 --> 40:29.437 That's an interesting idea. 40:30.098 --> 40:31.779 That is a very interesting idea. 40:31.959 --> 40:33.420 I mean, you could have your mum and your dad. 40:33.440 --> 40:34.561 That would be a double whammy. 40:34.681 --> 40:35.321 Oh, my goodness. 40:35.361 --> 40:36.442 I'm not sure if I could handle that. 40:36.682 --> 40:40.885 I think it would make very interesting radio because it would change the balance of power somewhat, wouldn't it? 40:40.905 --> 40:41.005 Sure. 40:41.245 --> 40:42.506 She's a political firebrand. 40:42.706 --> 40:43.126 Your mum? 40:43.366 --> 40:43.787 My mum. 40:43.807 --> 40:44.647 She loves the Daily Mail. 40:44.667 --> 40:45.648 A political Russell brand? 40:45.928 --> 40:46.088 Yeah. 40:46.148 --> 40:47.689 Do you think she'd say something awful? 40:47.989 --> 40:48.490 Possibly. 40:48.930 --> 40:50.391 What, something politically provocative? 40:50.951 --> 40:56.435 Well, I don't know, something out of sync with the average six music listener. 40:58.356 --> 41:06.521 She is a conservative with a small C. And, you know, she's open-minded in many ways, and she's a wonderful woman. 41:07.101 --> 41:09.883 She may well be listening right now, so I don't want to enrage her. 41:10.852 --> 41:14.373 Um, but, uh, but yes, she'd be great. 41:14.973 --> 41:15.913 I think she would be great. 41:16.193 --> 41:18.013 I think she should take over from Lauren Laverne. 41:18.694 --> 41:20.074 Well, that's an interesting idea. 41:20.114 --> 41:20.354 Yeah. 41:20.514 --> 41:22.774 I mean, I know Lauren's only just moving to the morning slot. 41:23.015 --> 41:25.315 She loves smooth jazz. 41:26.655 --> 41:28.336 So do the six music listeners. 41:28.516 --> 41:28.796 Yeah. 41:29.096 --> 41:30.836 You think they'd be cool with that? 41:31.416 --> 41:34.257 Her favorite CD is jazz on a rainy afternoon. 41:35.377 --> 41:35.877 Perfect. 41:36.497 --> 41:37.597 Hello, this is Adam's mum. 41:37.958 --> 41:39.658 And now he's a bit more jazz. 41:40.618 --> 41:41.398 A jazzy Jeff. 41:41.578 --> 41:42.499 A jazzy Jeff. 41:42.519 --> 41:42.999 A jazzy Jeff. 41:43.019 --> 41:43.659 A jazzy Jeff. 41:43.799 --> 41:44.659 A jazzy Jeff. 41:44.679 --> 41:45.039 A jazzy Jeff. 41:45.139 --> 41:45.560 A jazzy Jeff. 41:45.580 --> 41:45.980 A jazzy Jeff. 41:46.040 --> 41:46.580 A jazzy Jeff. 41:46.620 --> 41:46.980 A jazzy Jeff. 41:47.000 --> 41:47.560 A jazzy Jeff. 41:47.580 --> 41:48.060 A jazzy Jeff. 41:48.200 --> 41:48.701 A jazzy Jeff. 41:48.741 --> 41:49.461 A jazzy Jeff. 41:49.481 --> 41:50.101 A jazzy Jeff. 41:50.181 --> 41:50.721 A jazzy Jeff. 41:50.741 --> 41:51.261 A jazzy Jeff. 41:51.281 --> 41:51.582 A jazzy Jeff. 41:51.602 --> 41:52.182 A jazzy Jeff. 41:52.202 --> 41:52.902 A jazzy Jeff. 41:52.982 --> 41:53.802 A jazzy Jeff. 41:53.822 --> 41:54.582 A jazzy Jeff. 41:54.602 --> 41:55.463 A jazzy Jeff. 41:55.583 --> 41:56.023 A jazzy Jeff. 41:56.043 --> 41:56.463 A jazzy Jeff. 41:56.483 --> 41:56.903 A jazzy Jeff. 41:57.023 --> 41:57.703 A jazzy Jeff. 41:57.743 --> 41:58.084 A jazzy Jeff. 41:58.104 --> 41:58.364 A jazzy Jeff. 41:58.424 --> 41:58.984 A jazzy Jeff. 41:59.004 --> 41:59.484 A jazzy Jeff. 41:59.504 --> 41:59.924 A jazzy Jeff. 41:59.944 --> 42:00.404 A jazzy Jeff. 42:00.424 --> 42:00.964 A jazzy Jeff. 42:00.984 --> 42:01.405 A jazzy Jeff. 42:01.425 --> 42:01.845 A jazzy Jeff. 42:02.005 --> 42:02.465 A jazzy Jeff. 42:02.485 --> 42:02.565 A j 42:03.078 --> 42:03.718 Jazz. 42:04.299 --> 42:11.902 Anyway, folks, we're going to talk about, I'm a celebrity, get me out of here again very briefly, just to kick off this text the nation, right? 42:11.942 --> 42:13.163 Put it in some kind of context. 42:13.863 --> 42:14.484 Kim Woodburn. 42:14.504 --> 42:15.424 Do you know who she is, Joe? 42:15.604 --> 42:15.744 Nope. 42:16.185 --> 42:20.067 She's the battle axe from How Clean is Your House that I referred to in the case. 42:20.087 --> 42:20.887 Kim and Aggie, okay. 42:21.207 --> 42:21.547 Yeah, yeah. 42:21.988 --> 42:22.909 There you go, Kim and Agate. 42:22.929 --> 42:29.214 You see, all these people, again, I'm aware of their existence, but suddenly I understand what the deal is, having seen them in the jungle. 42:29.635 --> 42:31.877 Anyway, she's a total nightmare, as far as I can tell. 42:32.337 --> 42:35.980 Overbearing and just larger than life in every tedious way possible. 42:36.561 --> 42:38.803 And one of her things is being brutally honest with people. 42:38.823 --> 42:41.505 She's one of these people who says, I say what's on my mind. 42:41.545 --> 42:42.066 I can't help it. 42:42.266 --> 42:42.907 I can't help it, love. 42:43.367 --> 42:44.708 I absolutely have to say what's on my mind. 42:44.728 --> 42:45.269 I have to be honest. 42:46.138 --> 42:50.119 And people like that just make me want to end it all. 42:50.719 --> 42:52.840 Because, you know, it's like you don't. 42:53.020 --> 42:54.240 You don't have to say what's on your mind. 42:54.260 --> 42:55.601 You don't have to be brutally honest. 42:56.401 --> 43:00.642 That was one of the weird things about Ricky Chafez is film the invention of lying, which I haven't seen incidentally. 43:00.722 --> 43:03.663 So I don't know if I can't come out too much. 43:03.683 --> 43:05.603 You're talking from an ill-informed viewpoint. 43:05.723 --> 43:06.063 Exactly. 43:06.103 --> 43:06.463 That's right. 43:06.503 --> 43:07.344 Absolutely ill-informed. 43:07.364 --> 43:08.304 It's my favorite viewpoint. 43:08.624 --> 43:10.967 But the weird thing, but I've seen the trailer. 43:11.428 --> 43:13.671 That's good. 43:14.111 --> 43:23.644 So the problem, I think, having not seen the film, with the film, is that his idea is that if you live in a world where 43:24.925 --> 43:30.729 there's no lying, then that means that everyone is immediately brutally honest and says like the worst thing that's on their mind. 43:30.809 --> 43:31.689 Sure, that's not true. 43:32.049 --> 43:33.170 That's not what lying is about. 43:33.210 --> 43:36.392 Lying is about saving people's feelings a lot of the time, you know. 43:36.852 --> 43:40.334 That would be the invention of rudeness or the invention of politeness. 43:40.414 --> 43:41.174 What would it be? 43:41.194 --> 43:42.235 But it's something else, isn't it? 43:42.335 --> 43:46.537 Yeah, just because you can't lie doesn't mean to say you're going to go around telling everyone they stink, you know what I mean? 43:46.818 --> 43:52.861 Anyway, so Kim Woodburn, right, goes up to Justin from Colin and Justin. 43:53.261 --> 43:53.802 Love them both. 43:54.702 --> 44:04.548 And she, totally unprovoked for no reason at all, goes up to him and points at the several moles that he has on his handsome face and says, you should get rid of those darling, you should get them lasered off. 44:05.449 --> 44:06.889 Why have you got them on your handsome face there? 44:07.050 --> 44:08.811 You'd be much more handsome if you got rid of those moles. 44:09.690 --> 44:11.411 And he was totally shocked by this, right? 44:11.771 --> 44:12.651 And totally taken aback. 44:12.671 --> 44:13.732 He didn't really know how to respond. 44:13.772 --> 44:14.832 He was sort of flawed for a few minutes. 44:14.852 --> 44:18.774 And then after a while he got his bearings and said, that's kind of a rude thing to say. 44:18.814 --> 44:19.674 Why would you say that? 44:20.094 --> 44:21.075 She's like, well, I'm just being honest. 44:21.095 --> 44:22.275 I've got to say what's on my mind, dear. 44:22.676 --> 44:22.936 Have to. 44:22.996 --> 44:23.576 I have to be honest. 44:23.776 --> 44:24.656 You should get those lasers off. 44:25.477 --> 44:26.917 You know, you've got a handsome face. 44:27.338 --> 44:28.778 And those moles are spoiling them. 44:29.018 --> 44:33.620 This, incidentally, coming from a woman who is not exactly an oil painting herself, right? 44:34.241 --> 44:36.401 But it seems such a weird thing to do to go up. 44:36.421 --> 44:37.142 She get lasered off. 44:37.982 --> 44:38.463 Oh, her face? 44:38.523 --> 44:39.103 Her whole face. 44:39.143 --> 44:42.506 That's what he should have come back with. 44:42.686 --> 44:43.246 Exactly! 44:43.887 --> 44:45.147 Why not laser your whole face off? 44:45.187 --> 44:46.689 You should get lasered off entirely. 44:46.869 --> 44:49.150 She'd just be blasted by a laser. 44:49.230 --> 44:53.133 If I had my laser with me, then I would laser you into a thousand tiny pieces. 44:53.173 --> 44:55.035 Little powdery puff of flesh and fabric. 44:55.675 --> 44:57.557 And then, emptiness. 44:59.946 --> 45:00.607 My laser. 45:00.787 --> 45:03.449 Like in Steven Spielberg's War of the Worlds. 45:03.849 --> 45:04.129 Right. 45:04.710 --> 45:06.131 A bloodless explosion. 45:06.211 --> 45:06.671 Yeah. 45:06.952 --> 45:07.692 A human pop. 45:08.033 --> 45:11.115 That's right. 45:11.956 --> 45:13.337 That is what I'm holding out for. 45:13.397 --> 45:15.479 I'm hoping that's going to be in the last week if I'm a celebrity. 45:15.999 --> 45:17.740 That's going to be one of the Bush Tucker trials. 45:17.760 --> 45:20.202 That would be good if they had a satellite. 45:20.222 --> 45:21.363 You see, I'd watch. 45:21.403 --> 45:25.567 I'd be interested if they had a laser-armed satellite above the camp. 45:25.727 --> 45:27.969 And they could just take them out very suddenly. 45:28.109 --> 45:29.310 Laser Kim Woodburn. 45:30.431 --> 45:40.739 Anyway, so it very much reminded me that that kind of person exists in the world, you know, the kind of person that absolutely feels they have to say what's on their mind, regardless of other people's feelings, and they don't really think it through. 45:41.159 --> 45:43.261 But then everyone does that themselves every now and again. 45:43.301 --> 45:50.146 You say things, you are perhaps too honest, or you feel compelled to be honest with a person, and then regret it afterwards. 45:50.467 --> 45:54.470 There was a guy at school, and this is how much trouble I'm having summoning up. 45:54.950 --> 46:00.354 some kind of anecdote along these lines, but there's a guy at school who used to take great pleasure in pointing out zits. 46:00.674 --> 46:01.455 I remember. 46:01.475 --> 46:02.055 Do you remember? 46:02.255 --> 46:02.455 Yeah. 46:02.576 --> 46:08.600 Everyone else would very politely pretend that the thick layer of medicated makeup... Rich Hazel. 46:09.380 --> 46:13.263 And which hazel and weird peroxide products on your face was invisible. 46:13.443 --> 46:13.623 Yeah. 46:13.843 --> 46:17.946 But this one guy would go around and go, God, look at that strawberry. 46:18.126 --> 46:18.887 Yes, exactly. 46:19.207 --> 46:34.530 you running a pick your own thing yeah say stuff like that make you feel really self-conscious and stuff it's bizarre but then also i'm thinking about incidents when you're perhaps with your lady partner and having a conversation about who you fancy on tv or whatever or 46:35.271 --> 46:36.631 You know those kind of conversations. 46:37.032 --> 46:41.073 In a fictional world, who would you be allowed to have an affair with if you met them, you know what I mean? 46:41.093 --> 46:42.433 Do you ever have those conversations? 46:42.873 --> 46:43.714 Sure, sometimes. 46:44.174 --> 46:50.776 And you feel as if you're on an equal intellectual footing with your girlfriend, stroke, lady, partner, man, partner, whatever it happens to be. 46:51.896 --> 46:54.038 But, and so you're honest with them, right? 46:54.058 --> 46:55.318 You're just having a sort of fun discussion. 46:55.739 --> 47:01.883 Suddenly, they take offense, they get really upset, and the whole discussion is like, whoa, where's this gone? 47:01.923 --> 47:05.925 And suddenly the lady partner's crying because you have expressed an interest in snogging. 47:05.965 --> 47:08.707 So how would you encapsulate this best for the listeners? 47:08.867 --> 47:13.030 Times when you have regretted being honest with someone or got into trouble. 47:13.250 --> 47:16.832 Or could it be the other way around, someone who's been too brutally honest with 47:16.972 --> 47:17.192 you. 47:17.272 --> 47:18.353 Yeah, it goes both ways. 47:18.733 --> 47:23.555 It's going to take a certain bravery on the listeners' part to admit to some of these things perhaps. 47:23.875 --> 47:24.756 Our listeners can do it. 47:24.976 --> 47:25.636 They're bold and brave. 47:25.656 --> 47:26.416 They're very brave. 47:26.497 --> 47:27.977 The text number is 64046. 47:28.497 --> 47:31.819 The email is adamandjo.6music at bbc.co.uk. 47:32.119 --> 47:34.500 If you'd like to contribute to this week's Text the Nation. 47:34.980 --> 47:36.281 Here's a free play for you right now. 47:36.301 --> 47:46.306 This is a duo called Noylander, and they are, I think, New York based, a man and a woman, and this is a sort of enjoyable electronic 47:47.366 --> 47:49.227 over the top track that they did a few years ago. 47:49.447 --> 47:56.651 It sounds like kind of a mess for a little bit this track, but then it kind of congeals into a fairly stirring little epic at the end. 47:56.711 --> 47:57.291 Hope you enjoy it. 47:57.311 --> 47:58.652 This is Noylander with If You Could. 48:11.178 --> 48:27.643 Do you remember that party that we went to when we were little and there was a guy wandering around and he'd had a bit too much to drink and we were playing that song or someone was playing that album and he came up and he's all teary and he goes, boys do cry, you know. 48:28.223 --> 48:30.504 And then he wandered off in a drunkie daze. 48:31.164 --> 48:32.165 I've forgotten that. 48:33.785 --> 48:36.286 Listen, listeners, we're going to do some made up jokes. 48:36.346 --> 48:39.868 We haven't done any made up jokes for a few weeks and we're inundated with them. 48:40.288 --> 48:41.848 Great bucket loads of them regularly. 48:42.268 --> 48:45.570 So we fished out the best ones and we're going to read some right now, correct? 48:46.050 --> 48:47.951 Adam stuck a plastic fork off his nose. 48:48.331 --> 48:50.031 Hanging it off the bridge of the nose. 48:50.051 --> 48:51.092 Is it the bridge? 48:51.152 --> 48:51.752 Is that what we're going to do? 48:51.772 --> 48:52.672 We're going to have the jingle jingle? 48:52.692 --> 48:53.433 Yeah, let's have the jingle. 48:54.454 --> 49:11.335 I'm a funny person, I often make up jokes My jokes are more amusing than those of other folks When you hear my joke I think you'll find that you agree Come on, you're all invited to a made up joke party 49:13.733 --> 49:17.216 And as Joe said, we do get a huge amount of these through. 49:17.256 --> 49:18.377 I mean, it is ridiculous. 49:18.697 --> 49:21.159 Most of them, it has to be said, are no good. 49:21.459 --> 49:23.401 How is your sort of vetting going? 49:23.501 --> 49:24.542 Are you vetting, Adam? 49:24.562 --> 49:28.185 Are you Google searching the jokes that you read out? 49:28.325 --> 49:34.309 I'm trying to be a bit more stringent because in the past I've been too easily impressed by puns and one-liners and stuff. 49:34.349 --> 49:36.091 So I'm trying to avoid those a little bit. 49:36.411 --> 49:36.591 Yep. 49:36.791 --> 49:41.713 You know, because I accept the fact that I've been too credulous and too willing to believe that there are made-up jokes. 49:41.853 --> 49:45.854 In the end, it turns out generally that Tim Vine has done them at some point. 49:46.014 --> 49:46.394 How about you? 49:46.434 --> 49:46.895 Final car. 49:47.295 --> 49:49.435 Well, I'm just doing a little bit of last-minute vetting now. 49:49.455 --> 49:49.896 Are you? 49:49.936 --> 49:51.396 I think I've cleared my first joke. 49:51.676 --> 49:52.356 Okay, okay. 49:52.376 --> 49:53.757 From Alan and Joe Jenkins. 49:54.497 --> 49:56.118 How do you make a questionnaire laugh? 49:56.778 --> 49:57.118 I don't know. 49:57.398 --> 49:58.518 You tickle its boxes. 49:58.779 --> 49:59.919 You tickle its boxes. 50:00.099 --> 50:02.060 Hey! 50:02.100 --> 50:03.020 Just Google search. 50:03.080 --> 50:04.200 You tickle its boxes. 50:04.561 --> 50:05.281 Nothing coming up. 50:06.421 --> 50:09.324 So there's nothing but Tickle Me Elmo links coming up. 50:09.764 --> 50:10.585 So that's good, isn't it? 50:10.645 --> 50:14.408 Alan and Joe Jenkins, that's officially an authored joke. 50:14.628 --> 50:16.110 Do you know what you should be able to do? 50:16.750 --> 50:20.934 You should be able to register jokes with the PRS, the Performing Rights Society. 50:21.915 --> 50:31.563 People in the business of music will know that if you're a musician and you have a hit record, they've really got the profit distribution system really nailed. 50:32.123 --> 50:58.650 better than any other industry so if you could apply that structure to joke or the ship don't you think I mean Alan and Joe Jenkins they would be making some coin every time that that joke was cracked yeah but really I mean it would be difficult to monitor and register it you want to monetize that wordplay man once Wi-Fi's installed in the brain that which is within the next two weeks apparently hooray then that kind of thing will be feasible no in my luck it'll be rubbish Wi-Fi in my brain 50:59.850 --> 51:00.691 Have you got any jokes? 51:00.791 --> 51:01.291 Sure, I do. 51:01.311 --> 51:01.951 I've got loads. 51:02.111 --> 51:04.012 Here's one from Toby McCathy. 51:04.072 --> 51:15.558 Okay, as you said, I'm going to... I'm going to Google some of the... Actually, this does need Googling because after my lengthy speech about avoiding simple wordplay, this is classic and maybe semi-obvious wordplay, but I like it. 51:15.578 --> 51:15.799 Shoot. 51:16.119 --> 51:17.479 Hey there, Buckles and Cornballs. 51:17.980 --> 51:21.301 Where do above-average electricians do their shopping? 51:22.022 --> 51:22.542 Hmmm. 51:23.042 --> 51:23.943 Sparks and Mensa. 51:26.620 --> 51:26.960 Yay! 51:27.080 --> 51:28.380 That's good, that's good, that's good. 51:28.400 --> 51:29.241 He says, a pleasure. 51:29.541 --> 51:30.641 Give Boggins a hit from me. 51:30.901 --> 51:32.061 That's from Tom McCarthy. 51:32.221 --> 51:33.201 Google hit number two. 51:34.122 --> 51:37.422 Sparks and Mensa is a recycled line about M&S from the 70s. 51:37.682 --> 51:40.203 Not only is it a real groaner, dot, dot, dot. 51:40.403 --> 51:40.623 What? 51:42.083 --> 51:42.903 Google hit number two. 51:43.064 --> 51:44.084 OK, well, what about this? 51:44.164 --> 51:44.884 All right, Google this thing. 51:44.904 --> 51:45.164 Well, hang on. 51:45.204 --> 51:45.684 It's my turn. 51:45.724 --> 51:46.364 Johnny Googles. 51:46.544 --> 51:47.124 It's my turn. 51:47.144 --> 51:47.684 All right, you do one. 51:47.745 --> 51:50.205 I'm going to do one that doesn't get any Google response. 51:50.845 --> 51:52.646 What's round and sounds like a trumpet? 51:53.826 --> 51:54.086 Don't know. 51:54.246 --> 51:54.706 A crumpet. 51:56.348 --> 52:02.932 Come on, the best response I've had to this joke was a sympathetic half grin from my girlfriend, thanks by Kevin Shaw. 52:03.112 --> 52:03.392 Yeah. 52:03.632 --> 52:06.274 Well, you got another sympathetic half grin from me, mate, right? 52:07.194 --> 52:07.915 Is that a bit aggressive? 52:08.595 --> 52:09.555 Hey, what are you googling there? 52:10.036 --> 52:11.857 What's round and sounds like a trumpet. 52:13.758 --> 52:14.018 Anything? 52:15.603 --> 52:16.204 No, nothing. 52:16.964 --> 52:17.304 Nothing. 52:17.765 --> 52:18.085 Nothing. 52:18.225 --> 52:19.186 Cornish scores two. 52:19.386 --> 52:20.106 Two nil. 52:20.266 --> 52:20.947 Two nil. 52:21.527 --> 52:21.908 Shut up. 52:21.928 --> 52:22.268 Shut up. 52:22.288 --> 52:22.628 Two nil. 52:22.648 --> 52:22.988 Two nil. 52:23.008 --> 52:23.129 Boom. 52:23.269 --> 52:23.709 Boom. 52:23.749 --> 52:24.049 Fight. 52:25.150 --> 52:25.310 Boom. 52:25.350 --> 52:25.710 Fight. 52:26.071 --> 52:26.491 Very nice. 52:27.211 --> 52:27.832 Right, Danny Dyer. 52:28.092 --> 52:29.453 Here's one from Sam Bowman. 52:30.054 --> 52:30.794 Did you hear? 52:31.074 --> 52:35.257 Did you hear about how Velma from Scooby Doo's teaching evaluation exam went? 52:35.538 --> 52:36.538 I can't believe you chose this one. 52:37.099 --> 52:37.439 What? 52:37.939 --> 52:38.960 This is a good one. 52:38.980 --> 52:39.300 Go on. 52:39.821 --> 52:42.923 Yeah, she would have gotten an A with it if it weren't for those pesky kids. 52:45.896 --> 52:49.479 Velma from Scooby-Doo's teaching evaluation exam. 52:49.579 --> 52:52.302 And she would have gotten an A with it. 52:52.322 --> 52:54.104 Hang on, I'm getting some responses off this. 52:54.304 --> 52:55.545 Those pesky kids. 52:56.246 --> 52:57.367 I liked it, Sam Bowman. 52:57.427 --> 52:58.468 Needs further investigation. 52:58.768 --> 52:59.449 Lucy. 53:00.089 --> 53:01.571 Lucy, if you could investigate that one further please. 53:01.591 --> 53:02.431 Don't get Lucy, that's totally legit. 53:02.451 --> 53:04.433 If you could run that through Google, thank you very much. 53:04.493 --> 53:05.935 Have you got another one then? 53:05.955 --> 53:06.615 Sure, I've got another one. 53:06.635 --> 53:06.875 Come on then. 53:07.096 --> 53:09.438 Why is it easy to buy clothes that fit Derek Acora? 53:10.058 --> 53:10.338 I don't know. 53:10.479 --> 53:11.299 Because he's a medium. 53:12.000 --> 53:16.123 James Pastel in Wind... Oh, I'm going to make this mistake again. 53:16.823 --> 53:17.303 Wymandom. 53:17.464 --> 53:17.784 Wyndham. 53:18.044 --> 53:18.364 Wyndham. 53:18.624 --> 53:19.165 Yeah. 53:19.265 --> 53:19.625 That's good. 53:19.645 --> 53:20.406 Let's stop Googling them. 53:20.426 --> 53:21.667 This just brings the whole thing down. 53:22.335 --> 53:22.615 Yeah? 53:22.775 --> 53:23.556 Yeah. 53:23.696 --> 53:24.756 Well, it brings me down anyway. 53:25.157 --> 53:27.718 Here's one from Martha, which I really do not believe needs Googling. 53:28.538 --> 53:30.920 She says, this was made up by my coworker, Mike. 53:31.160 --> 53:36.283 The farmyard animals have entered a competition organized by the farmer and his wife. 53:36.783 --> 53:44.848 A marquee kitted out with decks, lights, and a glitter ball is the prize, which goes to the animal who presents the best Shakespearean passage. 53:44.868 --> 53:45.428 This is good. 53:46.148 --> 53:50.831 The sheep does Macbeth, the horse does Hamlet, and the cow does Richard III. 53:51.292 --> 53:58.336 The farmer and his wife have a tough job choosing a winner, but finally they announce, cow is the winner of our disco tent. 53:59.057 --> 53:59.537 Nice. 54:00.518 --> 54:01.718 Brilliantly designed. 54:02.239 --> 54:03.980 What a piece of verbal architecture that is. 54:04.020 --> 54:05.961 Yeah, she says, please kill boggins. 54:07.262 --> 54:10.144 Cow is the winner of our disco tent. 54:10.404 --> 54:11.325 Very nice, Martha. 54:11.345 --> 54:12.025 I like that one a lot. 54:12.566 --> 54:13.086 You got another one there? 54:13.366 --> 54:19.348 Well, I'm reading through them and I don't know, maybe I was a little bit tooty when I picked them because they don't seem so funny now. 54:19.768 --> 54:21.048 Come on, this is a good one. 54:21.108 --> 54:22.308 Kevin Core sent this in. 54:22.709 --> 54:28.650 Have you heard about the new BBC sitcom in which a young man advises his stepmother about the British weather? 54:29.230 --> 54:31.031 It's called It Ain't Hot, Half Mum. 54:31.751 --> 54:32.091 Nice. 54:32.651 --> 54:34.412 He's a reporter on the Liverpool Echo. 54:34.532 --> 54:35.332 Is he? 54:35.432 --> 54:36.172 Well, quite rightly. 54:36.232 --> 54:36.732 He's a genius. 54:36.832 --> 54:37.492 OK, I've got one. 54:37.532 --> 54:38.733 This is from Ivor Hatton. 54:40.155 --> 54:47.282 Dear Adam and Jo, what does any aspiring person working in journalism or the arts want to get in their Christmas cracker? 54:47.402 --> 54:48.062 This is a good one. 54:48.443 --> 54:49.484 A Pulitzer Prize. 54:50.104 --> 54:51.265 Pulitzer Prize! 54:53.359 --> 54:53.960 That's Brills. 54:54.920 --> 54:58.703 Here's a very simple one, which may well have been made before, but it made me chuckle. 54:59.364 --> 55:00.745 This is from Matt in North London. 55:01.005 --> 55:02.206 What do you call a racist wizard? 55:03.267 --> 55:03.767 Oh, Adam. 55:04.088 --> 55:04.668 I don't know. 55:04.708 --> 55:05.209 I'm worried. 55:05.449 --> 55:06.570 I'm already very worried. 55:06.610 --> 55:07.390 Nick Gryffindor. 55:08.111 --> 55:08.531 Oh, nice. 55:08.651 --> 55:08.912 Good. 55:10.033 --> 55:10.393 Good. 55:11.254 --> 55:13.395 That's probably quite contemplative, isn't it? 55:13.535 --> 55:14.056 Harry Potter. 55:14.256 --> 55:15.777 He's only entered the public realm. 55:16.738 --> 55:19.680 Like an old stinky waft in the last month or so. 55:19.821 --> 55:20.001 Sure. 55:20.950 --> 55:22.572 Well, that was very good, very good. 55:22.852 --> 55:25.234 That's cathartic, isn't it, getting made up jokes out of your system? 55:25.274 --> 55:27.957 I mean, I've got thousands more, but I think we should stop while we're ahead. 55:28.177 --> 55:28.477 Yeah. 55:29.598 --> 55:29.959 Or not. 55:30.760 --> 55:32.081 Here's Doves with House of Mirrors. 55:33.002 --> 55:33.342 Doves. 55:34.243 --> 55:35.324 It's been their year, Joe. 55:35.945 --> 55:36.665 It has, hasn't it? 55:36.865 --> 55:37.046 Yeah. 55:37.326 --> 55:38.767 They're having a fantastically year. 55:38.787 --> 55:42.891 They're going to look back at 2009 and think, oh, lovely. 55:42.971 --> 55:43.312 Loved it. 55:43.592 --> 55:44.413 What a great time. 55:44.453 --> 55:44.913 Vintage. 55:45.254 --> 55:45.494 Mate. 55:45.774 --> 55:47.535 Because they're an Aussie band, aren't they? 55:47.555 --> 55:51.078 Yeah, they're all from Australia. 55:51.098 --> 55:52.499 Oh, 2009, mate. 55:52.519 --> 55:55.502 Oh, that year was an absolute doozy bonser year. 55:56.334 --> 56:01.677 I still, every now and again, I still have a tinny, and think about that year, and then I'll surf, guys. 56:01.697 --> 56:03.158 Stereotypical, very stereotypical. 56:03.178 --> 56:04.198 No, that's what they're like. 56:04.218 --> 56:05.519 Conductive and racist. 56:05.699 --> 56:07.120 Not racist, that's what they're like. 56:07.140 --> 56:07.760 Very, very racist. 56:07.820 --> 56:10.321 They love surfing and drinking beer and surfing. 56:10.361 --> 56:10.922 Disgusting. 56:11.022 --> 56:13.103 And Barbies and shrimps, that kind of thing. 56:13.143 --> 56:15.284 Why is that racist with corks hanging from their hat? 56:15.344 --> 56:16.325 I'll tell you after the show. 56:17.225 --> 56:20.368 Um, if you enjoy this programme, then you might like to visit our blog. 56:20.428 --> 56:24.051 It's at bbc.co.uk forward slash blogs forward slash Adam and Jo. 56:24.091 --> 56:26.333 It's got all sorts of bits and bobs on it. 56:26.934 --> 56:28.975 It's got animations that listeners have made. 56:29.176 --> 56:30.237 Amazing animations. 56:30.297 --> 56:32.839 Beautiful drawings that listeners have beautifully drawn. 56:32.879 --> 56:33.119 Yeah. 56:34.000 --> 56:38.244 It's got little posts by Count Buckley's and some by Cornball's. 56:38.524 --> 56:42.187 Many of the songs, our Song Wars songs, are available to download there. 56:42.227 --> 56:43.769 And don't take the blog at face value. 56:44.169 --> 56:47.613 Don't think that what's on the home page, the opening page, is all there is. 56:47.693 --> 56:48.354 Have a little search. 56:48.394 --> 56:48.974 Dig around. 56:49.074 --> 56:50.276 Open the bottom drawers. 56:50.336 --> 56:51.077 Have a little scruffle. 56:51.137 --> 56:54.240 Lift up the bits of newspaper lining and see what's tucked underneath. 56:54.500 --> 56:57.483 Shove your hands down the sides of the sofa there. 56:57.824 --> 56:59.686 You might find more than a 50 pence piece. 57:00.086 --> 57:02.408 Some old filthy magus reinds. 57:03.688 --> 57:04.809 That's the ultimate find, isn't it? 57:04.929 --> 57:05.189 It is. 57:05.209 --> 57:06.230 And that filthy mag. 57:06.650 --> 57:07.431 Daddy's dirty mag. 57:07.471 --> 57:11.814 You don't see them in the woods so much anymore, do you? 57:11.914 --> 57:12.554 Anyway, listen. 57:13.195 --> 57:14.616 Do you love the film Predator? 57:15.136 --> 57:15.776 Yeah, sure I do. 57:15.816 --> 57:16.517 Yeah, sure you do. 57:16.757 --> 57:19.239 I've been listening to a lot of film soundtracks recently. 57:19.339 --> 57:19.659 Have you? 57:19.719 --> 57:22.461 And I've been particularly... Do you listen to film soundtracks ever? 57:22.741 --> 57:23.441 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 57:23.842 --> 57:27.004 Do you like while you're working maybe to have some adventure music on? 57:28.105 --> 57:28.545 Not so much. 57:29.045 --> 57:34.072 If you're, sometimes if I'm writing I like to have a bit of exciting music on, you know, get you into the zone. 57:34.312 --> 57:36.775 Ah, I like the mellow ones, you know, a bit through each second of the tone. 57:36.815 --> 57:44.124 Well, yeah, the adventurers, some ones can be adventurous, some ones can be a little bit distracting sometimes, or they can make you start typing too fast. 57:44.465 --> 57:47.829 But it's also fun to listen to adventuresome music while you're, say, cleaning. 57:48.569 --> 57:49.950 Or maybe tidying up the kitchen. 57:50.170 --> 57:51.071 Or making sweet sweet love. 57:51.391 --> 57:52.632 Or making sweet sweet love. 57:53.092 --> 57:56.994 Adventure some music from films makes daily life exciting. 57:57.054 --> 57:57.814 It's like you're in a film. 57:58.075 --> 57:59.655 It's like you're in a film. 58:00.196 --> 58:03.698 So one of my favourite soundtracks is Alan Silvestri's Predator soundtrack. 58:03.798 --> 58:04.138 Sure. 58:04.138 --> 58:19.795 For my free play, and a lot of people have been emailing us asking what free plays are when we say free plays, but most of the music on the show is brilliantly assembled by our producer James and six music boffins, but three songs a week each Adam and I get to pick from our own collections. 58:19.815 --> 58:22.738 And we can pretty much play whatever we want, as long as it's not sweary. 58:22.978 --> 58:26.639 Yeah, hence me playing a track from the Predator soundtrack. 58:26.679 --> 58:32.321 I haven't got any thingin' in it, like it's not a song, it's orchestral, but it's a terrific soundtrack. 58:32.401 --> 58:32.881 It's very rhythmic. 58:32.901 --> 58:34.482 Those great kind of tom-toms or whatever it is. 58:34.682 --> 58:40.264 Yeah, so if you're driving, this is gonna make the next 1 minute and 50 seconds really exciting. 58:40.464 --> 58:41.885 And what part of the film is this? 58:41.905 --> 58:42.545 What are we looking at? 58:42.585 --> 58:44.066 This track is called Jungle Trek. 58:44.586 --> 58:50.789 So we have Sfartzi and all his chums trekking through the jungle, being tracked. 58:50.869 --> 58:52.090 Billy Dee Williams, is he in there? 58:52.410 --> 58:52.970 Everyone's in there. 58:53.010 --> 58:53.730 Sure. 58:53.810 --> 59:01.594 Being tracked by the Predator that is moving through the jungle with its weird translucent refractive cloaking device switched on. 59:01.634 --> 59:03.395 You can do that, you know, that's real technology. 59:03.715 --> 59:06.637 with those little cameras that show what's behind you in front of you. 59:06.717 --> 59:07.177 It's all real. 59:07.237 --> 59:09.078 Yeah, I've been thinking about that, and I don't think it works. 59:09.278 --> 59:09.498 Come on. 59:09.518 --> 59:10.639 We can talk about that another time. 59:10.919 --> 59:11.799 Listen, enjoy this. 59:12.179 --> 59:14.260 This is Alan Silvestri with Jungle Trek. 59:15.821 --> 59:17.282 There is no typing going on. 59:17.642 --> 59:18.803 They don't have typewriters. 59:18.823 --> 59:21.824 They're on a jungle trek trivialising that piece of music. 59:21.864 --> 59:23.145 Come on, guys, you've got to get the copy in. 59:23.445 --> 59:24.265 The deadline's looming. 59:24.826 --> 59:26.447 It wasn't Billy Dee Williams. 59:26.487 --> 59:28.187 It's Carl Weathers, of course, in that film. 59:28.207 --> 59:28.648 Carl Weathers. 59:28.668 --> 59:29.208 Of course it was. 59:30.108 --> 59:33.330 Matt, do you remember when we went to see that in... Where do we see that, Joe? 59:33.430 --> 59:34.270 We saw that in Paris. 59:34.290 --> 59:36.551 Of course we did, in La Salle. 59:36.611 --> 59:39.772 And we were so excited because it was the Virgin original. 59:39.852 --> 59:43.733 We were too young to see it in Britain, weren't we? 59:43.773 --> 59:45.393 But we were young enough to see it in France. 59:45.513 --> 59:46.733 It was a subtitle. 59:47.093 --> 59:48.294 It was so exciting. 59:48.314 --> 59:49.614 It was very loud. 59:49.654 --> 59:52.815 They play films loudly as well in Paris, so they certainly used to. 59:54.295 --> 59:56.676 Do you remember pretty much everywhere you saw a film? 59:57.396 --> 59:58.377 Yeah, pretty much, I'm good at that. 59:58.417 --> 59:59.278 Yeah, same here. 59:59.779 --> 01:00:02.562 And I say to my wife, like, hey, do you remember when we saw this film? 01:00:03.063 --> 01:00:03.704 Hasn't got a clue. 01:00:04.164 --> 01:00:06.707 Like, can't remember when, where we were, what we were doing. 01:00:06.727 --> 01:00:07.348 I was like, what? 01:00:07.448 --> 01:00:10.552 But there are many problems between you and your wife, aren't there? 01:00:10.672 --> 01:00:11.573 Many, many problems. 01:00:11.613 --> 01:00:13.836 Now, you can't remember where we saw Men in Black, darling. 01:00:14.176 --> 01:00:18.558 But Silvestri, he's a genius, and the combination of rhythm and orchestral there is superb. 01:00:18.578 --> 01:00:20.118 He did Back to the Future, of course. 01:00:20.418 --> 01:00:23.560 Other great films like Flight of the Navigator, Overboard, Mac and Me. 01:00:23.620 --> 01:00:24.080 Overboard? 01:00:24.860 --> 01:00:26.141 Overboard is a brilliant film. 01:00:26.221 --> 01:00:27.381 Golden Horn and Kurt Russell. 01:00:27.441 --> 01:00:27.921 Come on. 01:00:28.221 --> 01:00:29.182 How is it a brilliant film? 01:00:29.242 --> 01:00:30.802 It's good, it's really good. 01:00:31.082 --> 01:00:31.883 It's your argument, is it? 01:00:32.023 --> 01:00:32.303 Yeah. 01:00:32.803 --> 01:00:36.204 It's funny, it's warm, it's lively, it's witty. 01:00:36.905 --> 01:00:38.285 Lucy, you love Overboard, right? 01:00:38.305 --> 01:00:39.986 She's never heard of it. 01:00:40.786 --> 01:00:41.986 Mac and me, that's a good film. 01:00:42.006 --> 01:00:43.287 Mac and me, I'm not sure I've seen Mac and me. 01:00:43.307 --> 01:00:44.847 They built a whole McDonald's for Mac and me. 01:00:44.887 --> 01:00:46.048 That was the ET rip-off, right? 01:00:46.068 --> 01:00:46.288 Yeah. 01:00:46.908 --> 01:00:48.068 The little boy in the wheelchair. 01:00:48.088 --> 01:00:49.329 Is Mac and me actually worth watching? 01:00:49.629 --> 01:00:50.069 Never seen it. 01:00:51.349 --> 01:00:52.410 Have you ever seen Overboard? 01:00:52.430 --> 01:00:53.670 Of course I've seen Overboard. 01:00:53.690 --> 01:00:55.431 Are you genuinely pro Overboard? 01:00:55.451 --> 01:00:57.011 I swear to you, lots of people love Overboards. 01:00:57.031 --> 01:00:57.491 Proverboard. 01:00:57.752 --> 01:00:59.132 Yeah, I'm proverboard, definitely. 01:00:59.512 --> 01:01:01.274 Okay, well, I'm gonna revisit it now. 01:01:01.734 --> 01:01:02.234 It's good. 01:01:02.294 --> 01:01:09.080 You and your wife will it'll heal a lot of the rifts, but it's like emotional glue That should have been on the cover. 01:01:09.400 --> 01:01:17.186 Yeah, it's like emotional glue don't honest BBC six music Hey, has your name ever turned up on an endorsement like on a on a DVD or anything? 01:01:17.206 --> 01:01:17.386 Oh 01:01:17.886 --> 01:01:34.766 uh yeah on a book or two is it yeah oh they make you feel good yeah it didn't make me feel good it's on robert popper's um time waster letters volume one which is an excellent book sure very proud to be on there i've got a quote on the tim and eric dvd do you yeah says aden buxton six music wow skills who is that 01:01:35.387 --> 01:01:35.727 What do you mean? 01:01:35.888 --> 01:01:36.949 Adam Buxton, who is that? 01:01:37.709 --> 01:01:38.771 He's a little hairy ponce. 01:01:38.931 --> 01:01:39.211 Is he? 01:01:39.351 --> 01:01:39.691 Yeah. 01:01:39.752 --> 01:01:40.272 He's a DJ. 01:01:40.392 --> 01:01:40.753 That's right. 01:01:40.793 --> 01:01:41.313 He's a music DJ. 01:01:41.373 --> 01:01:41.994 Okay, cool. 01:01:43.115 --> 01:01:43.836 He loves Tim and Eric. 01:01:44.176 --> 01:01:46.619 Here's Merry Ghost with mathematics. 01:01:46.659 --> 01:01:48.060 Cherry Ghost, not Merry Ghost. 01:01:48.260 --> 01:01:50.703 What's your big problem, you small hairy ponce? 01:01:51.123 --> 01:01:52.525 This is Mathematics by Cherry Ghost. 01:01:53.223 --> 01:01:59.068 Cherry Ghost there with the song that they've done that we've just played called Mathematics. 01:01:59.168 --> 01:02:00.950 This is Adam and Joel on BBC Six Music. 01:02:01.371 --> 01:02:02.652 Thanks for joining us this morning. 01:02:02.672 --> 01:02:07.696 We're into the last hour of our programme and it's time to do some text-the-nation submissions. 01:02:08.137 --> 01:02:09.458 Are we going to have a kind of a jingle? 01:02:09.638 --> 01:02:10.979 Yeah, let's have a bit of Jonghulis. 01:02:11.980 --> 01:02:12.681 Oh, James. 01:02:12.741 --> 01:02:13.602 Jingle is massive. 01:02:13.642 --> 01:02:14.142 What happened? 01:02:14.242 --> 01:02:16.364 It just... Jingle is massive. 01:02:20.644 --> 01:02:22.606 What if I don't want to? 01:02:22.666 --> 01:02:24.568 But I'm using email, is that a problem? 01:02:24.608 --> 01:02:27.570 It doesn't matter, text! 01:02:28.191 --> 01:02:29.512 What is it about this week Adam? 01:02:29.832 --> 01:02:30.432 What you what? 01:02:30.533 --> 01:02:30.753 What? 01:02:30.953 --> 01:02:31.934 What is it about? 01:02:32.054 --> 01:02:34.536 What is it all about this week Adam? 01:02:34.556 --> 01:02:36.057 Alright, I get what you're saying. 01:02:36.497 --> 01:02:37.418 Yeah, alright bruv. 01:02:37.859 --> 01:02:38.419 What is it about? 01:02:38.479 --> 01:02:39.260 Oh, what's it about? 01:02:39.300 --> 01:02:39.620 Yeah. 01:02:39.840 --> 01:02:41.281 Okay, so this week... Wait, wait, Adam. 01:02:41.462 --> 01:02:41.702 What? 01:02:41.882 --> 01:02:42.623 What is it all about? 01:02:43.283 --> 01:02:43.923 What is it all about? 01:02:43.963 --> 01:02:44.603 This week? 01:02:44.843 --> 01:02:45.864 Yeah, what is it about? 01:02:45.884 --> 01:02:47.684 It's like a collection, it's like a magazine, right? 01:02:47.704 --> 01:02:50.145 And they collect all the articles from different papers, right? 01:02:50.165 --> 01:02:51.325 And they put it in the mag. 01:02:51.945 --> 01:02:54.426 So you got, it's like an overview of all the different media. 01:02:54.706 --> 01:02:56.167 That's basically what this week's about. 01:02:57.307 --> 01:02:57.687 Thanks. 01:02:58.867 --> 01:03:03.429 This week's Text the Nation, though, is all about being brutally honest and regretting it. 01:03:03.689 --> 01:03:03.929 Yeah. 01:03:04.089 --> 01:03:05.689 Here are some ones what we have got in. 01:03:05.709 --> 01:03:06.610 This is from Jess. 01:03:06.990 --> 01:03:10.451 My ex-boyfriend and I were having the who would you sleep with conversation? 01:03:10.511 --> 01:03:10.831 We should 01:03:12.411 --> 01:03:13.192 described this a bit. 01:03:13.212 --> 01:03:14.253 People know what that is, don't they? 01:03:14.334 --> 01:03:15.555 Maybe we shouldn't go into it in any way. 01:03:15.575 --> 01:03:20.520 Well, it's it's with it's where you to have a physical liaison with someone outside of wedlock. 01:03:20.861 --> 01:03:23.343 It's something that long term partners discuss, isn't it? 01:03:23.363 --> 01:03:26.126 You would get a kind of a free free pass for. 01:03:26.327 --> 01:03:26.847 Yeah, yeah. 01:03:27.228 --> 01:03:29.330 So my ex boyfriend and I were having that conversation. 01:03:29.630 --> 01:03:31.412 I said George Clooney, obviously. 01:03:31.452 --> 01:03:31.652 Yeah. 01:03:31.712 --> 01:03:33.735 And he immediately replied, Hannah from work. 01:03:35.351 --> 01:03:35.912 That's not allowed. 01:03:35.932 --> 01:03:36.692 Awkward silence ensued. 01:03:37.092 --> 01:03:40.674 It's got to be, um... She does sound attractive though, doesn't she? 01:03:40.714 --> 01:03:41.275 Hannah from work. 01:03:41.315 --> 01:03:42.355 Yeah, sure, she is. 01:03:42.395 --> 01:03:44.056 Something just about those three words. 01:03:45.057 --> 01:03:45.597 Definitely. 01:03:45.777 --> 01:03:47.678 I mean... Look at Hannah's hair, it's so clean. 01:03:48.319 --> 01:03:49.419 Hannah, she's lovely. 01:03:49.480 --> 01:03:50.500 Who's your one incidentally? 01:03:51.361 --> 01:03:51.881 What do you mean? 01:03:52.161 --> 01:03:53.702 Your one that you're allowed to have. 01:03:53.722 --> 01:03:55.203 We don't really have that conversation. 01:03:55.243 --> 01:03:55.543 Do you not? 01:03:55.743 --> 01:03:57.464 No, I don't think we've ever had that conversation. 01:03:58.365 --> 01:04:00.166 Well, you're not like a person from Friends then. 01:04:00.706 --> 01:04:02.247 No, I'm not. 01:04:02.847 --> 01:04:05.409 That's a shame, I'm lacking in dimensionality. 01:04:05.449 --> 01:04:08.210 All people were like people from friends. 01:04:08.230 --> 01:04:10.031 Do all couples have to have that conversation? 01:04:10.071 --> 01:04:12.232 Yes, you've got to conform to the thing. 01:04:12.252 --> 01:04:15.934 You've got to have the couple conversation that may have been friends and stuff. 01:04:16.075 --> 01:04:17.635 Here's one from Tim in Dorset. 01:04:18.036 --> 01:04:23.399 An unnamed woman I was at school with had, let's just say an issue with a five o'clock shadow. 01:04:24.079 --> 01:04:27.661 Whilst out drinking, I decided to say, why don't you just shave it off? 01:04:28.061 --> 01:04:28.301 What? 01:04:28.741 --> 01:04:31.222 To say she was upset is an understatement. 01:04:31.742 --> 01:04:33.302 I am an idiot forever for that. 01:04:33.782 --> 01:04:34.382 Who's that from? 01:04:34.562 --> 01:04:35.262 Tim in Dorset. 01:04:35.542 --> 01:04:37.583 He's scarred himself and her forever. 01:04:37.623 --> 01:04:39.743 I mean, no one's come out on top with that exchange. 01:04:39.783 --> 01:04:41.644 But what was he thinking, though? 01:04:41.924 --> 01:04:44.224 He was thinking, why doesn't she just shave it off? 01:04:44.244 --> 01:04:47.925 So was he trying in his mind he was sort of offering some practical advice? 01:04:48.585 --> 01:04:49.005 Yeah. 01:04:49.125 --> 01:04:50.065 Like, hey, you're a woman. 01:04:50.085 --> 01:04:51.225 But that's patronising in and of itself. 01:04:51.245 --> 01:04:52.726 Like, most women don't like having beards. 01:04:52.766 --> 01:04:53.606 Why don't you shave it off? 01:04:56.988 --> 01:04:58.149 He didn't think it through. 01:04:58.549 --> 01:05:02.652 Why didn't he go the extra step and think about how she would feel? 01:05:02.752 --> 01:05:05.694 She wouldn't want to shave it off anyway because that just makes it stubbly. 01:05:06.334 --> 01:05:06.714 Exactly. 01:05:06.734 --> 01:05:09.216 Wax it off or one of those burning chemicals. 01:05:09.596 --> 01:05:10.317 Laser, a bit of laser. 01:05:10.337 --> 01:05:11.157 That's the way I'm sitting. 01:05:11.678 --> 01:05:12.138 Sure I do. 01:05:12.158 --> 01:05:16.581 You've got your legs crossed and you're sat sideways to the desk there. 01:05:16.601 --> 01:05:17.221 Facing Adam. 01:05:17.321 --> 01:05:17.962 It's very nice. 01:05:17.982 --> 01:05:20.784 Like some sort of idiot on some kind of Channel 5 news program. 01:05:20.804 --> 01:05:21.444 Like an uncle. 01:05:21.764 --> 01:05:21.984 Yep. 01:05:23.425 --> 01:05:24.046 Next then. 01:05:24.546 --> 01:05:25.828 I'm not going to sit like that anymore. 01:05:25.868 --> 01:05:27.710 Tom and Dorset, what were you thinking though? 01:05:27.770 --> 01:05:28.430 My goodness. 01:05:28.831 --> 01:05:30.012 Incidentally, I like ladies. 01:05:30.052 --> 01:05:30.813 I mentioned this before. 01:05:30.853 --> 01:05:32.395 I like ladies with a bit of facial hair. 01:05:32.995 --> 01:05:34.717 You like men with a bit of facial hair as well. 01:05:34.877 --> 01:05:36.379 I like anyone with a bit of facial hair. 01:05:36.399 --> 01:05:37.200 You just like hair. 01:05:37.360 --> 01:05:38.962 I like a downy mustache on a girl. 01:05:38.982 --> 01:05:39.302 I really do. 01:05:39.322 --> 01:05:40.704 Do you go through barber's bins? 01:05:42.678 --> 01:05:46.982 and then take bags of it home and still have them in a cupboard. 01:05:47.322 --> 01:05:53.947 I'll tell you one thing I really did do, which my wife discovered the other day and flipped out. 01:05:54.127 --> 01:05:57.310 The first time I grew my beard in 2005, it was really massive and bushy. 01:05:57.330 --> 01:06:00.252 I went to Edinburgh and I was doing this show, so I had a crazy pirate beard. 01:06:00.772 --> 01:06:04.915 And then when I came back and I trimmed it, I didn't shave the whole thing off, but I trimmed it massively. 01:06:05.176 --> 01:06:05.956 You kept the bits? 01:06:06.096 --> 01:06:06.477 Sure did. 01:06:06.617 --> 01:06:07.317 In a little bag. 01:06:07.357 --> 01:06:08.438 In a little box. 01:06:08.478 --> 01:06:12.041 You might have told us this story before, and then your wife came across the hairy box. 01:06:12.301 --> 01:06:13.001 Yeah, she flipped. 01:06:13.182 --> 01:06:14.162 What did she think it was? 01:06:14.382 --> 01:06:15.163 She didn't know what it was. 01:06:15.203 --> 01:06:16.404 She probably thought it was her mother. 01:06:16.424 --> 01:06:17.084 What the hell is this? 01:06:18.105 --> 01:06:19.786 And she couldn't figure out what it wasn't. 01:06:21.107 --> 01:06:22.908 She didn't know what part of the body it had come from? 01:06:22.968 --> 01:06:23.969 Well, obviously not. 01:06:24.029 --> 01:06:28.171 You could have been engaged to some Johnny Knoxville style pubey beard stunt. 01:06:28.331 --> 01:06:28.692 Right. 01:06:29.052 --> 01:06:30.413 And she was saying, what are you? 01:06:30.813 --> 01:06:33.835 And when I explained, she's like, why have you kept this? 01:06:34.595 --> 01:06:36.897 I couldn't give a good answer to that question. 01:06:38.998 --> 01:06:40.960 Uh, how would you pronounce the name G-I-L-L? 01:06:41.341 --> 01:06:41.601 Gill. 01:06:42.022 --> 01:06:42.702 From Essex. 01:06:43.143 --> 01:06:43.683 Could be Jill. 01:06:44.484 --> 01:06:44.905 It's Gill. 01:06:45.165 --> 01:06:45.425 Gill. 01:06:46.066 --> 01:06:53.694 During my career as a school teacher, I was on playground duty when a little girl came up to me and said so sweetly, Miss, your bottom looks just like a horse's. 01:06:53.934 --> 01:06:55.235 Oh wait, Miss, it is Jill then. 01:06:55.576 --> 01:06:56.697 Then skipped off happily. 01:06:57.237 --> 01:06:58.338 Oh, the honesty of children. 01:06:58.999 --> 01:07:00.240 Your bottom looks brutal, isn't it? 01:07:00.260 --> 01:07:01.640 Your bottom looks like a horse. 01:07:01.660 --> 01:07:03.941 Have your kids said really brusque things to you? 01:07:03.961 --> 01:07:04.882 Kids say the funniest things. 01:07:05.222 --> 01:07:11.125 No, I was talking the other day about how sophisticated particularly my eldest son is with his sense of empathy. 01:07:11.705 --> 01:07:13.526 So he doesn't say hurtful things. 01:07:13.566 --> 01:07:14.487 He's very considered. 01:07:14.507 --> 01:07:17.208 It's very touching the way he thinks about people's feelings. 01:07:17.668 --> 01:07:18.328 He doesn't do that. 01:07:18.508 --> 01:07:18.968 Good for him. 01:07:18.988 --> 01:07:21.469 Well, keep those messages coming in, listeners. 01:07:21.509 --> 01:07:23.090 The text number is 64046. 01:07:23.690 --> 01:07:26.931 The email is adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 01:07:27.171 --> 01:07:29.131 I should say please to the listeners. 01:07:29.171 --> 01:07:32.612 I mean, otherwise that just sounds like some kind of bossy command. 01:07:32.712 --> 01:07:32.992 Yeah. 01:07:33.233 --> 01:07:34.453 Please, please, listeners. 01:07:34.513 --> 01:07:35.713 Hey, please, come on, listeners. 01:07:35.733 --> 01:07:35.953 Help us. 01:07:36.113 --> 01:07:38.034 Listen, sorry about everything, right? 01:07:38.054 --> 01:07:38.254 Yeah. 01:07:38.554 --> 01:07:39.254 But help us out. 01:07:39.294 --> 01:07:41.915 We're a couple of desperate losers. 01:07:41.995 --> 01:07:42.595 Housewives. 01:07:42.695 --> 01:07:44.796 We just need a couple of desperate housewives. 01:07:45.736 --> 01:07:46.877 Here's the Chemical Brothers right now. 01:07:46.897 --> 01:07:47.798 This is the Golden Path. 01:07:48.298 --> 01:07:50.180 That is Kevin Coyne there, isn't it? 01:07:50.920 --> 01:07:52.762 Singing on the Golden Path. 01:07:53.322 --> 01:07:54.002 Wayne Coyne. 01:07:54.223 --> 01:07:54.663 Wayne Coyne. 01:07:54.823 --> 01:07:56.104 Kevin Coyne's a different guy, isn't he? 01:07:56.124 --> 01:07:56.805 A different pop man. 01:07:57.465 --> 01:07:58.306 All the coins, though. 01:07:58.966 --> 01:08:01.808 You know, they're all jingling, jangling around in the big pop wallet there. 01:08:03.029 --> 01:08:08.593 That was the Chemical Brothers with the Golden Path with Tony P. Coyne singing on top of it. 01:08:09.094 --> 01:08:10.134 Now, listen, folks. 01:08:11.215 --> 01:08:13.757 We're going to talk about Boggins here right now. 01:08:13.897 --> 01:08:16.318 And don't worry, he's nowhere near the studio, right? 01:08:16.358 --> 01:08:20.521 We've made sure that he was safely in his kennel before we came in this morning. 01:08:20.561 --> 01:08:23.903 So if you've got a problem with the way he sounds, don't worry about it. 01:08:23.943 --> 01:08:24.823 He's not going to be in here. 01:08:25.143 --> 01:08:31.868 But we have to deal with the avalanche of correspondence that we've received about our little doggy friend, Chum. 01:08:33.148 --> 01:08:37.691 And Joe was even at the beginning of the show saying, you know... I was. 01:08:38.332 --> 01:08:52.362 Perhaps we shouldn't even talk about him, perhaps we shouldn't even mention him because it has polarised the listeners to such a degree that... I was berating you for making an executive decision and announcing on our blog that we would continue to cover blog-ins. 01:08:53.122 --> 01:08:53.482 Blog-ins? 01:08:55.244 --> 01:09:00.748 Well, I just said that, you know, we are going to respond to the messages that people are sending in, right? 01:09:00.788 --> 01:09:02.910 Because we're getting a lot of messages about it. 01:09:03.450 --> 01:09:10.215 So why would we ignore all the strong feelings of our listeners about the little stinky man dog? 01:09:10.515 --> 01:09:11.196 You know what I'm saying? 01:09:11.496 --> 01:09:12.777 Yeah, I do know what you're saying. 01:09:12.917 --> 01:09:13.978 For example, here is a letter. 01:09:13.998 --> 01:09:17.781 This is the kind of letter that basically has unsettled, particularly you, Joe. 01:09:19.222 --> 01:09:21.304 And I think it's unsettled both of us a little bit. 01:09:21.524 --> 01:09:22.344 This is from Corin Co. 01:09:22.364 --> 01:09:22.825 Martin. 01:09:25.247 --> 01:09:26.969 I don't know how you pronounce that. 01:09:26.989 --> 01:09:34.336 She's from the Department of International Development at the University of Oxford, clearly an intelligent professional woman. 01:09:35.157 --> 01:09:38.100 And this message seems absolutely sincere. 01:09:38.320 --> 01:09:43.645 She says, whenever Boggins is around, my hands automatically reach for the stop play button. 01:09:43.825 --> 01:09:45.948 So I guess she's listening on the iPlayer or whatever. 01:09:46.628 --> 01:09:50.191 Not sure why, but I can't stand him, and he's been ruining my fun. 01:09:50.811 --> 01:10:03.021 It would really help if you had a warning that says, warning this show features boggins, then I would know that I can give the whole show a miss, rather than stop halfway through completely exasperated and frustrated. 01:10:03.621 --> 01:10:07.744 I've been a long-standing fan, but this feels like the end of a beautiful affair. 01:10:08.105 --> 01:10:10.847 And just because of a stupid dog, how could you? 01:10:11.407 --> 01:10:12.428 Corin Comartine. 01:10:12.748 --> 01:10:18.233 So the question is, and we've been discussing this in between songs, what's the deal? 01:10:19.173 --> 01:10:23.477 To deconstruct this in a very literal way, is she being absolutely serious there? 01:10:23.977 --> 01:10:25.579 Or is she joking a little bit? 01:10:25.599 --> 01:10:33.485 Is she getting into the spirit of being scandalised by boggins and joking about how much she hates him and taking it to an extreme? 01:10:33.865 --> 01:10:34.206 Or what? 01:10:34.266 --> 01:10:36.327 Because we don't want to genuinely 01:10:37.228 --> 01:10:42.052 Shedd listeners who were but then if she was that scandalized by she'd be a nutcase though, wouldn't she? 01:10:42.232 --> 01:10:47.736 It's not like boggins is in every link Yeah, well, there's an ontological issue at the center of that question. 01:10:47.756 --> 01:10:59.405 That's also at the center of the whole boggins debate right ontological it's from the Greek of What I've got it up on the internet here just to make because I knew you'd ask me this. 01:10:59.505 --> 01:11:01.627 Yeah, it's from the Greek I can't tell you what Greek 01:11:02.407 --> 01:11:05.128 Uh, it is, but it's about the nature of being existence or reality. 01:11:05.408 --> 01:11:05.868 Ah, right. 01:11:06.248 --> 01:11:11.149 So, um, you know, is she being truthful or is she sort of role-playing? 01:11:11.269 --> 01:11:11.470 Yeah. 01:11:11.750 --> 01:11:14.110 Is Boggins, I mean, Boggins is a fictional dog. 01:11:14.150 --> 01:11:15.111 We've made that clear. 01:11:15.231 --> 01:11:15.431 Yeah. 01:11:15.911 --> 01:11:19.512 So, you know, he's not real and were we to kill him? 01:11:20.652 --> 01:11:21.632 That would not be real. 01:11:22.313 --> 01:11:26.674 And you see, there's an ontological question at the core of both questions. 01:11:26.854 --> 01:11:36.737 It's so weird because there's such a sophisticated level of role playing and fantasy involved with boggins and with the interaction that we're getting from listeners as well. 01:11:37.197 --> 01:11:40.338 Some people very seemingly very sincere about wanting to kill him. 01:11:40.678 --> 01:11:44.539 Other people seemingly very sincere about loving him and writing songs for him and stuff like that. 01:11:44.879 --> 01:11:46.660 It's very hard to pick apart 01:11:47.120 --> 01:11:49.401 the fantasy and the reality now. 01:11:49.421 --> 01:11:52.003 They've become enmeshed in a troubling way. 01:11:52.523 --> 01:11:58.966 And it freaks me out that we actually would lose a lot of listeners just because of this dog. 01:11:58.987 --> 01:12:00.087 Well, I think there's two things here. 01:12:00.127 --> 01:12:01.948 Some people don't like the sound physically. 01:12:02.048 --> 01:12:03.109 They find it irritating. 01:12:03.489 --> 01:12:16.016 Other people think to have a sort of fictional dog on a Saturday morning radio show is maybe a slightly cheesy and tired, predictable thing to happen because there have been many fictional dogs 01:12:16.976 --> 01:12:18.838 in radio history, haven't there? 01:12:18.958 --> 01:12:19.699 I can think of one. 01:12:19.799 --> 01:12:20.679 Well, there's been one. 01:12:21.940 --> 01:12:24.142 I bet you there's more than one. 01:12:24.503 --> 01:12:26.664 I bet you people could come up with other DJ dogs. 01:12:26.724 --> 01:12:27.325 Yeah, but he's not. 01:12:27.545 --> 01:12:29.046 They haven't been as sweet as Boggins. 01:12:29.567 --> 01:12:30.528 No, or as stinky. 01:12:31.108 --> 01:12:32.589 Boggins has his own skill set. 01:12:32.850 --> 01:12:33.510 But anyway, yes. 01:12:34.231 --> 01:12:39.175 So people might think that it's a silly Saturday morning kids show type thing to do, right? 01:12:40.216 --> 01:12:42.778 So A, I don't think that's a problem. 01:12:45.260 --> 01:12:51.965 B, it doesn't dominate the entire show, so if you had a problem with it, just deal with it. 01:12:52.325 --> 01:12:56.348 C, it's not as if this fictional dog is fictional, is it? 01:12:57.069 --> 01:12:57.729 Don't get into that. 01:12:58.690 --> 01:13:01.031 For example, here's a message from Beth Jackson. 01:13:01.111 --> 01:13:01.591 She's aged 10. 01:13:02.131 --> 01:13:08.333 Dear Adam and Jo, me and my dad were listening to your show the other day, and you said you were going to put boggins down. 01:13:09.053 --> 01:13:10.534 And please don't. 01:13:11.874 --> 01:13:16.896 Because I love him, and even though he eats poo and stuff, he could stay with me. 01:13:17.156 --> 01:13:18.516 That's from Beth Jackson, aged 10. 01:13:18.556 --> 01:13:22.078 She says, PS, my dad loves your show, and he would love it if you read this out for me. 01:13:22.498 --> 01:13:23.338 Three kisses there. 01:13:23.618 --> 01:13:24.158 Thank you, Beth. 01:13:24.218 --> 01:13:24.818 And that's sweet. 01:13:24.838 --> 01:13:25.739 She's listening with her dad. 01:13:26.599 --> 01:13:29.881 And are you worried that it's just going to become a kids show? 01:13:30.522 --> 01:13:34.004 Well, I think younger listeners like boggins more than older listeners. 01:13:34.064 --> 01:13:34.324 Right. 01:13:35.285 --> 01:13:38.687 Older listeners are cruel and cynical and want to see the fictional dog slaughtered. 01:13:38.887 --> 01:13:39.608 I'm not sure. 01:13:39.628 --> 01:13:46.612 Younger listeners are full of joie de vivre and optimism and they want to see the dog thrive and live and cleaned up, medically dealt with. 01:13:46.652 --> 01:13:46.912 Yeah. 01:13:47.232 --> 01:13:52.076 And then here's a message from Anna and she says, and this is more about the kind of bonding effect of boggins. 01:13:52.836 --> 01:13:56.857 Hello, Adam G. I just moved to Brighton with my bloke Tom, and he introduced me to your great show. 01:13:56.897 --> 01:14:05.279 Being a new fan, I was curious if anyone else was listening in my office, which is one of those massive open plan floors with everyone huddled around their own piece of grey carpet space. 01:14:05.379 --> 01:14:10.720 Anyway, so I said to my colleague, I thought quite quietly, what do you think of Boggins to test him out? 01:14:10.900 --> 01:14:14.180 And suddenly 60 people across the office started shouting, love him! 01:14:14.320 --> 01:14:14.901 And no! 01:14:14.921 --> 01:14:15.921 Boggins needs to die! 01:14:16.241 --> 01:14:17.161 It lasted an hour. 01:14:17.241 --> 01:14:18.001 Do you believe that? 01:14:18.201 --> 01:14:21.222 My boss took me away for a quiet word about disrupting the working day. 01:14:21.262 --> 01:14:22.062 Why would she make that up? 01:14:22.242 --> 01:14:22.743 I don't know. 01:14:23.083 --> 01:14:24.464 That just seems too good to be true. 01:14:24.524 --> 01:14:36.634 I tell you what would really convince is if people took their little, you know, mobile phone audio note recorders into an office and shouted something about boggins, then we could get a genuine response. 01:14:36.674 --> 01:14:37.295 Do you know what I mean? 01:14:37.695 --> 01:14:39.777 So what would conclude the boggins issue? 01:14:39.797 --> 01:14:46.322 Like if someone said, if someone was to say, get rid of the dog or carry on chatting about the dog. 01:14:46.462 --> 01:14:48.804 Well, look, it's not up to us. 01:14:49.525 --> 01:14:53.547 The dog comes in here, when the door is opened, we have to deal with it. 01:14:54.167 --> 01:14:59.909 I mean, it's not really our dog, so if we were to put him down, then we might get into trouble, for instance. 01:15:00.489 --> 01:15:01.750 I think it's beyond our control. 01:15:01.910 --> 01:15:07.792 But if there was one person that said, you know, you should get rid of him, who would that be and that you would listen to? 01:15:08.092 --> 01:15:09.333 James, the producer, I think. 01:15:09.893 --> 01:15:12.814 I think James has the ultimate decision on boggins. 01:15:12.914 --> 01:15:13.934 What about Julian Reynolds? 01:15:14.475 --> 01:15:15.295 Julian Reynolds? 01:15:15.655 --> 01:15:41.458 yeah the critic the radio critic of the telegraph yeah do you think she has the authority she has probably a historical overview a broader perspective of radio and its various tropes and things that work and don't i've always remember her saying in a very nice review she's very supportive of us as well she said i started listening to adam and joe and i don't plan to stop she said that about a year ago but i wonder if boggan's made a stop we should find out maybe we should try and get in touch with her yeah that's what worries me 01:15:42.150 --> 01:15:45.575 So there you go, and you'll notice that there was no little dog. 01:15:45.715 --> 01:15:46.976 Why are you laughing? 01:15:46.996 --> 01:15:47.637 So there you go. 01:15:48.438 --> 01:15:51.723 As if you just finished some sort of report from a front line. 01:15:51.963 --> 01:15:52.243 It is! 01:15:52.343 --> 01:15:53.926 It's important political debate! 01:15:53.946 --> 01:15:55.307 That's what the show's all about! 01:15:57.450 --> 01:16:04.713 This is a track about Roxy music and it's quite a good Roxy music impression that he does in this. 01:16:04.753 --> 01:16:08.894 I mean, he's a stone throw away from Brian Ferry vocally anyway, isn't he, Bernhardt? 01:16:09.235 --> 01:16:09.735 Bernhardt. 01:16:10.055 --> 01:16:12.696 And this is called 16th and Valencia Roxy Music. 01:16:13.416 --> 01:16:14.296 Pharaoh Montch. 01:16:14.797 --> 01:16:15.077 There. 01:16:15.197 --> 01:16:16.537 You knew all about Pharaoh Montch, Joe. 01:16:16.557 --> 01:16:17.198 Montch to Montch. 01:16:17.478 --> 01:16:17.738 Yeah. 01:16:17.998 --> 01:16:18.838 Yeah, he's good. 01:16:19.099 --> 01:16:20.339 I've never heard of Pharaoh Montch before. 01:16:20.359 --> 01:16:20.979 He's good. 01:16:21.180 --> 01:16:24.701 But that's such an exact recreation of a 70s sound, though, isn't it? 01:16:24.861 --> 01:16:26.002 It's probably a sample. 01:16:26.462 --> 01:16:26.722 Right. 01:16:27.082 --> 01:16:27.943 Unisemple. 01:16:28.063 --> 01:16:29.303 And so what are you talking about? 01:16:29.323 --> 01:16:31.844 It's like a piece of selection from the song. 01:16:31.864 --> 01:16:32.425 You can't do that. 01:16:32.465 --> 01:16:33.565 That's not legal. 01:16:33.585 --> 01:16:34.405 You can now. 01:16:34.425 --> 01:16:35.566 No, then you can't do that. 01:16:35.586 --> 01:16:39.308 So you can't just go take someone else's song and use it in your song. 01:16:39.868 --> 01:16:40.088 Do you? 01:16:40.148 --> 01:16:41.328 That is not legal. 01:16:41.369 --> 01:16:42.129 What are we doing now? 01:16:42.949 --> 01:16:48.492 I've got a free play coming up, boy, and I'm going to play some David Bowie. 01:16:48.692 --> 01:16:53.135 People were complaining about the fact that we seem to play a lot of late period Bowie. 01:16:53.535 --> 01:17:00.779 We don't focus on the classic years, which I would say, broadly speaking, I think this is uncontroversial, are pretty much all his seventies albums, right? 01:17:01.119 --> 01:17:09.064 I mean, he had more than any other artist I can think of, a clear run of absolute solid gold smash albums in the seventies. 01:17:09.344 --> 01:17:18.566 I think every single one of them had at least something pretty great on it, you know, even pinups, which is his album covers, which is, you know, hey, hey, I love it. 01:17:18.586 --> 01:17:19.487 I'm saying off. 01:17:19.767 --> 01:17:20.307 It's great. 01:17:21.287 --> 01:17:21.987 So rude. 01:17:22.087 --> 01:17:24.288 When did you last release an album? 01:17:25.588 --> 01:17:27.969 When did you last release a run of classic albums in the 70s? 01:17:29.809 --> 01:17:31.110 I did it in the 70s. 01:17:31.170 --> 01:17:35.110 What kind of a high horse are you standing on, Box? 01:17:35.150 --> 01:17:35.510 That's true. 01:17:35.530 --> 01:17:36.771 That's a very good point, Joe. 01:17:36.811 --> 01:17:37.671 Yeah, I'm sorry about that. 01:17:37.691 --> 01:17:38.831 Adam Soap-Boxton. 01:17:38.971 --> 01:17:39.171 Yeah. 01:17:39.611 --> 01:17:41.252 But listen... I thought of Storchard, wasn't it? 01:17:41.392 --> 01:17:41.872 No, it was good. 01:17:42.112 --> 01:17:42.372 Thanks. 01:17:42.592 --> 01:17:45.953 Other people, like Jonathan Ross, he plays a lot of classic 70s bowie, right? 01:17:46.473 --> 01:17:52.414 So I thought it would be nice if we focused on the less often played parts of his magnificent canon. 01:17:53.967 --> 01:17:55.729 And I'm going to play a track from Let's Dance. 01:17:55.829 --> 01:18:00.074 And Let's Dance was the first Bowie album that I remember being very disappointed by. 01:18:00.695 --> 01:18:01.896 Now that seems strange, doesn't it? 01:18:01.916 --> 01:18:04.419 Because it's a great album, but it scrambled my circuits. 01:18:04.459 --> 01:18:06.241 It was the first 80s album. 01:18:06.341 --> 01:18:08.383 It was the first Bowie album I was excited by. 01:18:08.403 --> 01:18:11.747 It wasn't the first 80s one, because Scary Monsters was 1980, I think. 01:18:12.969 --> 01:18:13.930 And you really loved it, did you? 01:18:14.150 --> 01:18:15.011 Yeah, I really loved it. 01:18:15.291 --> 01:18:17.092 Because it was all Nile Rodgers and right up your alley. 01:18:17.152 --> 01:18:17.252 Yeah. 01:18:17.352 --> 01:18:17.612 Yeah. 01:18:17.853 --> 01:18:19.814 I didn't get it completely, right? 01:18:19.854 --> 01:18:20.815 Well, you wouldn't, would you? 01:18:20.995 --> 01:18:23.997 No, because I'm very slow and linear in my thinking. 01:18:24.557 --> 01:18:26.078 But I love it now, obviously. 01:18:26.118 --> 01:18:27.079 And this is one of my favorite tracks. 01:18:27.099 --> 01:18:30.701 You're not going to have enough time to play any of it now that you've waffled for so long. 01:18:30.781 --> 01:18:31.542 Now you're waffling. 01:18:32.242 --> 01:18:33.303 Now it's you that does the waffle. 01:18:33.743 --> 01:18:34.104 Here's Shaky. 01:18:34.164 --> 01:18:35.064 A waffle, waffle, waffle. 01:18:42.231 --> 01:18:42.511 Love it. 01:18:42.591 --> 01:18:46.179 David Bowie there with Shake It, and we're a little bit late for the news, but here it is. 01:18:46.239 --> 01:18:48.003 It's 11.30, BBC Six Music. 01:18:49.707 --> 01:18:52.629 Manic Street Preachers from Despair to Where? 01:18:52.689 --> 01:18:53.449 Is that what it's called? 01:18:53.490 --> 01:18:53.670 Yeah. 01:18:53.870 --> 01:18:55.331 Sodom and Joel on BBC Six Music. 01:18:55.591 --> 01:19:00.994 I've got this note on my script, my list of things to talk about, about Lilo Games. 01:19:01.795 --> 01:19:04.477 I really want to chat about it, but it's winter now. 01:19:04.617 --> 01:19:04.937 Yeah. 01:19:05.257 --> 01:19:08.659 And so it doesn't seem appropriate, but it's appropriate just to remember the summer. 01:19:08.679 --> 01:19:10.701 You even wanted to do it as a text donation, didn't you? 01:19:10.781 --> 01:19:11.421 I did. 01:19:11.441 --> 01:19:12.502 That's too Lilo Games! 01:19:12.802 --> 01:19:13.963 I love Lilo Games. 01:19:14.623 --> 01:19:15.724 I want to talk about it. 01:19:15.744 --> 01:19:16.725 What about Lilo and Stitch? 01:19:17.185 --> 01:19:18.186 I don't like that so much. 01:19:18.706 --> 01:19:21.167 Do you think it could be a nice thing to talk about? 01:19:21.207 --> 01:19:23.308 Because it's obviously quite wintery now. 01:19:23.548 --> 01:19:28.310 What about people who hate Lylos and might switch off if we start talking about Lylos? 01:19:28.330 --> 01:19:31.032 I don't think Lylos divide people like Boggos do. 01:19:31.312 --> 01:19:32.112 Wow, yeah. 01:19:32.132 --> 01:19:33.013 Boggos the Doggos. 01:19:33.413 --> 01:19:39.456 Dear Adam and Jo, I've been a long standing fan, but when you started talking about Lylos, that was really the last straw. 01:19:39.636 --> 01:19:43.077 I had to smash my radio against my husband's face. 01:19:43.177 --> 01:19:44.398 What's your favourite Lylo game? 01:19:45.338 --> 01:19:46.319 in a swimming pool. 01:19:47.099 --> 01:19:52.121 Do you do the one where you try and build a bridge across the swimming pool with Lylos? 01:19:52.161 --> 01:19:53.142 And then try and run across it. 01:19:53.162 --> 01:19:56.323 It can be very dangerous because if the pool's too narrow and you slip you could hit your head. 01:19:56.383 --> 01:19:56.703 Smash! 01:19:57.243 --> 01:20:00.705 You have to be very careful and when you land on the first Lylo you don't know which way you're going to fall. 01:20:00.725 --> 01:20:01.085 Sure it is. 01:20:01.205 --> 01:20:04.186 So there's a risk you could fall backwards and hit your head so do be very careful. 01:20:04.226 --> 01:20:05.006 Classic Lylo fun. 01:20:05.046 --> 01:20:09.508 You also have to have friends in the pool holding the Lylos together so they don't drift apart before you make the run. 01:20:09.728 --> 01:20:11.729 You also have to apply for a Lylo license. 01:20:11.889 --> 01:20:13.190 You have to have another license. 01:20:13.730 --> 01:20:14.391 before you stop. 01:20:14.411 --> 01:20:14.992 Do you like that game? 01:20:15.012 --> 01:20:15.993 Sure, everyone loves that game. 01:20:16.014 --> 01:20:19.799 Do you like the game where you pile lots of Lylos up and try and stand on top of them? 01:20:20.320 --> 01:20:20.720 That's a good game. 01:20:20.740 --> 01:20:22.202 Do you ever try and stand up on one Lylo? 01:20:22.342 --> 01:20:22.503 Yeah. 01:20:22.663 --> 01:20:23.644 See how long you can stand up? 01:20:23.664 --> 01:20:23.844 Sure. 01:20:24.065 --> 01:20:24.646 It's impossible. 01:20:24.686 --> 01:20:25.347 No one can do it. 01:20:25.827 --> 01:20:26.028 I can. 01:20:26.048 --> 01:20:30.354 Do you ever try and push the Lylo under the water and make it... Are you talking about single Lylo here? 01:20:31.395 --> 01:20:34.177 Well, I try and buy as many cheap Lylos as I can for a holiday. 01:20:34.297 --> 01:20:35.819 I mean they puncture easily, but they're cheap. 01:20:35.959 --> 01:20:36.880 Push it under the water and what? 01:20:36.900 --> 01:20:37.761 It's good to have quantity. 01:20:38.121 --> 01:20:39.222 Push it under the water and what? 01:20:39.582 --> 01:20:42.605 Do you ever try and push it right under the water so it sits on the bottom of the pool? 01:20:42.665 --> 01:20:44.147 We're still talking about Lylos here. 01:20:44.247 --> 01:20:44.487 Yes. 01:20:46.088 --> 01:20:53.473 Nice Yeah Yes, what I'm thinking about something else Yeah, yeah. 01:20:53.533 --> 01:20:53.713 Yeah. 01:20:53.793 --> 01:20:57.836 Yeah, I do do you see so that's the end of the lilo conversation. 01:20:57.856 --> 01:20:59.377 That's good man Do you have a race them? 01:21:00.197 --> 01:21:04.720 That's my favorite game lie on them on your belly and then do the forward to know you crawl the front 01:21:05.080 --> 01:21:08.322 I sit in the middle so that both ends go up like that. 01:21:08.542 --> 01:21:13.264 Oh, you're one of those are you sure sure I see and so it's like you're in a little floaty car. 01:21:13.424 --> 01:21:27.230 Yes, so the front and back go up It's like a car if the bonnets flipped up you can't see where you're going position yourself So the bonnet you have to lean a bit during your streamline You see I would be beating you on my line flat on my lilo. 01:21:27.270 --> 01:21:30.772 Yeah, I'm terribly aerodynamic Are you really like a really long plank? 01:21:32.473 --> 01:21:34.616 Oh, if you're lying, Dan, it's a totally different thing. 01:21:34.636 --> 01:21:35.877 Well, it's a lilo, not a sit-lo. 01:21:35.897 --> 01:21:38.059 Oh, dear. 01:21:39.220 --> 01:21:40.181 God, so angry. 01:21:40.201 --> 01:21:42.483 You really hurt me. 01:21:42.524 --> 01:21:43.705 You really hurt my feelings. 01:21:44.455 --> 01:21:44.715 Good. 01:21:44.735 --> 01:21:47.777 Do you have a bit of music and then come back with text the name? 01:21:47.797 --> 01:21:49.518 I haven't finished talking about Lilo. 01:21:50.198 --> 01:21:51.639 Now I've finished. 01:21:53.700 --> 01:21:55.221 That's the air coming out of Joe's conversation. 01:21:55.461 --> 01:21:56.121 Ha ha ha! 01:21:56.422 --> 01:21:57.222 Here's Passion Pit. 01:21:57.382 --> 01:21:57.782 I win! 01:21:58.002 --> 01:21:58.783 With little secrets. 01:21:59.703 --> 01:22:03.145 That's almost too rich a confection. 01:22:03.165 --> 01:22:04.146 Do you know what I'm saying? 01:22:04.966 --> 01:22:06.227 Too many delicious ingredients. 01:22:06.267 --> 01:22:06.707 I like it. 01:22:06.727 --> 01:22:07.468 I think it was fun. 01:22:08.408 --> 01:22:09.549 Yeah, I thought it was fun too. 01:22:09.989 --> 01:22:10.729 Fun for the kids. 01:22:11.109 --> 01:22:14.110 But so, so much fun that I was almost sick. 01:22:14.310 --> 01:22:14.911 Too much fun. 01:22:15.091 --> 01:22:22.974 Like the first line of Cheryl Cole's current pop hit is something like, too much of anything makes you sick. 01:22:24.261 --> 01:22:24.841 Fairly true. 01:22:25.102 --> 01:22:25.962 I mean, that's true. 01:22:26.062 --> 01:22:26.903 That is a truism. 01:22:27.163 --> 01:22:28.584 That is practically true. 01:22:29.004 --> 01:22:30.565 And there's much truth to it. 01:22:31.006 --> 01:22:37.910 But as the first line of a pop song, I mean, I'm very literal minded, but all that makes me think of is someone vomiting. 01:22:38.150 --> 01:22:40.212 And that's not what you want in a pop song, though, is it? 01:22:40.752 --> 01:22:41.713 The kids love vomiting. 01:22:42.093 --> 01:22:42.593 That's true. 01:22:42.613 --> 01:22:42.813 They do. 01:22:42.833 --> 01:22:44.575 It's a very visceral experience for them. 01:22:44.655 --> 01:22:45.795 It's the big vomit marketing. 01:22:45.815 --> 01:22:46.876 She's going for the pukers. 01:22:47.096 --> 01:22:47.777 The puke market. 01:22:48.337 --> 01:22:50.398 Hey, listen, shall we do one more quick text the nation? 01:22:50.418 --> 01:22:51.339 Yeah. 01:22:51.439 --> 01:22:52.540 Shall we have a jingle? 01:22:52.580 --> 01:22:53.360 Can you manage a jingle? 01:22:53.380 --> 01:22:54.181 Because there's quite a good one. 01:22:54.241 --> 01:22:54.421 here. 01:22:54.441 --> 01:22:56.502 This is a chap called Peter. 01:22:56.783 --> 01:23:02.586 I'm going to keep his surname secret just in case we are exposing, you know, a vulnerable part of his existence here. 01:23:02.727 --> 01:23:06.369 He says a very famous American musician friend of mine, 01:23:19.361 --> 01:23:28.630 a very famous American musician friend of his a few years back asked what I thought of his new record and that he'd respect my honest opinion as always. 01:23:29.350 --> 01:23:35.556 I told him that instead of making a double album maybe he should have made it a single record with just the good songs on it. 01:23:36.417 --> 01:23:40.400 I told him that to me I thought a lot of the songs were filler and not in any way vital. 01:23:41.081 --> 01:23:43.503 He thanked me for my honesty, we hung out for the rest of the night. 01:23:44.004 --> 01:23:58.476 Then later that week, I saw him interviewed on TV, and when he was asked about the new record, he rather dejectedly said, well, I was really proud of it, but apparently people think we should have just made it a single album and dropped the rest, so I don't know. 01:23:58.876 --> 01:23:59.657 Who could it be? 01:23:59.677 --> 01:24:00.778 He looked a bit gutted. 01:24:01.018 --> 01:24:04.421 I felt really bad about it, but have never brought it up again with him. 01:24:04.821 --> 01:24:06.262 Who's a big double album meister? 01:24:06.302 --> 01:24:11.005 Could be Axl Rose, could be Prince, the Purple Ponce. 01:24:11.525 --> 01:24:16.528 But I can't see Prince being too hurt by that kind of, or seeking counsel in that way anyway. 01:24:16.969 --> 01:24:18.450 But that's usually good advice. 01:24:18.510 --> 01:24:21.972 I mean, there are so many times when that would have been brilliant advice for someone. 01:24:22.492 --> 01:24:25.514 Just chop it down, get rid of the filler, just keep the killer. 01:24:25.874 --> 01:24:29.797 Our general stance is to lie when a friend asks you whether you think anything's good or not. 01:24:29.877 --> 01:24:31.198 I mean, just tell them it's really good. 01:24:31.378 --> 01:24:39.443 Don't you think like if you if you do if you have a friendly relationship with someone, if they're asking you on a friendly basis, what did you think of this or that that I just done? 01:24:40.004 --> 01:24:40.964 You are supportive. 01:24:41.004 --> 01:24:42.525 That's that's my default position. 01:24:42.745 --> 01:24:46.408 I don't see any point unless you're being paid for your professional opinion. 01:24:46.908 --> 01:24:50.090 Like if you're a producer or a good approach, just be balanced. 01:24:50.370 --> 01:24:50.571 Yeah. 01:24:50.731 --> 01:24:53.372 So before you say the bad things, think of two good things. 01:24:53.412 --> 01:24:54.033 Well, exactly. 01:24:54.313 --> 01:24:55.234 Focus on the good stuff. 01:24:55.254 --> 01:24:55.394 Yeah. 01:24:55.994 --> 01:24:58.876 But then sometimes it's too obvious that that's what's happening. 01:24:58.996 --> 01:25:04.660 Peter says, now, when any band's asked me what I think, and I've got criticism in mind, I deliver the stock answer. 01:25:04.740 --> 01:25:06.602 Quote, I can see what you're doing with it. 01:25:06.962 --> 01:25:08.503 It's just not my cup of tea. 01:25:08.983 --> 01:25:09.424 End quote. 01:25:09.484 --> 01:25:10.404 Is that any better? 01:25:11.485 --> 01:25:15.128 I think that's kind of a little bit soft pedaling and maybe even harsher. 01:25:15.268 --> 01:25:15.968 It's hard to hear. 01:25:16.008 --> 01:25:18.550 But again, you know, he's in a professional situation there, though. 01:25:18.590 --> 01:25:19.371 So that's fair enough. 01:25:21.864 --> 01:25:35.879 Anyway, you can contribute to Text the Nation by email during the week, adamandjo.6musicatpbc.co.uk, and your submission could appear in Retro Text the Nation next week. 01:25:35.939 --> 01:25:36.379 Imagine! 01:25:36.499 --> 01:25:36.900 Imagine. 01:25:37.240 --> 01:25:38.662 No texts during the week, please. 01:25:38.682 --> 01:25:40.564 You'll be wasting your money and your time! 01:25:41.229 --> 01:25:43.651 Right now, this is a bit of a free play. 01:25:43.671 --> 01:25:46.734 This is Paul Williams from the Bugsy Malone soundtrack. 01:25:46.774 --> 01:25:55.020 And I warrant that the songs Paul Williams wrote for Bugsy Malone are the best suite of songs specially composed for a film ever. 01:25:55.401 --> 01:25:56.161 I wouldn't challenge that. 01:25:56.242 --> 01:25:57.523 That's a daring statement. 01:25:57.543 --> 01:25:58.323 What about Grease? 01:25:58.864 --> 01:26:01.426 I prefer Bugsy Malone to Grease. 01:26:01.486 --> 01:26:03.888 There's a lot of different artists on the Grease soundtrack though. 01:26:04.368 --> 01:26:04.689 Exactly. 01:26:04.709 --> 01:26:05.389 It's not so pure. 01:26:05.529 --> 01:26:05.709 No. 01:26:06.090 --> 01:26:07.551 This is called Bad Guys. 01:26:08.211 --> 01:26:09.272 Lovely staff. 01:26:09.532 --> 01:26:11.494 That's Bat Flashes with Priscilla. 01:26:11.855 --> 01:26:13.236 Well, folks, that's it. 01:26:13.276 --> 01:26:14.097 We've run out of time. 01:26:14.157 --> 01:26:16.880 Thank you so much for tuning in and listening to our show this week. 01:26:17.200 --> 01:26:19.642 We've got an important announcement to make before we leave you, though. 01:26:20.203 --> 01:26:26.709 Yeah, from the 5th of December, this very programme will start an hour later, at 10am, and go on until 1am. 01:26:26.729 --> 01:26:31.915 So it's exactly the same show, just forward-shifted by an hour, giving us an extra hour in bed. 01:26:32.575 --> 01:26:35.176 giving Black Squadron an extra hour in bed. 01:26:35.216 --> 01:26:40.417 I mean, we need to discuss and think about this because obviously it's less impressive to get up at 10. 01:26:40.497 --> 01:26:41.077 Come on. 01:26:41.237 --> 01:26:41.877 Well, it is. 01:26:41.897 --> 01:26:43.717 I mean, it's an hour less impressive. 01:26:43.757 --> 01:26:44.017 Yeah. 01:26:44.378 --> 01:26:46.118 So should they still be Black Squadron? 01:26:47.358 --> 01:26:48.998 You know, we've really got to think that through. 01:26:49.739 --> 01:26:52.859 But next week, how many weeks until we are at 10? 01:26:53.039 --> 01:26:54.040 Next week is our last week. 01:26:54.340 --> 01:26:56.060 OK, so next week we have to decide 01:26:56.440 --> 01:26:59.583 Yeah, next week maybe it should be an ultimate Black Squadron command. 01:26:59.923 --> 01:27:00.223 Sure. 01:27:00.544 --> 01:27:02.105 Something that really pushes them. 01:27:02.345 --> 01:27:02.645 Yeah. 01:27:02.825 --> 01:27:04.487 But we're not going to disband the squadron though, right? 01:27:04.547 --> 01:27:05.588 Well, we need to discuss it. 01:27:05.628 --> 01:27:07.209 Oh my God, I fear change. 01:27:08.630 --> 01:27:12.654 And George Lamb is going to be taking over on weekend breakfast, stepping in instead of Yarae. 01:27:13.695 --> 01:27:15.116 Everything else will remain the same. 01:27:15.476 --> 01:27:20.921 Although Richard Bacon is joining the family, his show starts at 3pm in the afternoon. 01:27:20.941 --> 01:27:23.123 That'll be in a couple of weekends time, I think. 01:27:23.943 --> 01:27:42.447 uh so wow it's all changing you got we're gonna be crossing over with lamb in the morning slam in the lamb slam in the lamb how's that gonna be well we're gonna find out aren't we he's very confident very cocky and cheeky handsome as well i think i think uh he'll walk all over our faces i've got a feeling i'm gonna fall in love with that guy 01:27:44.247 --> 01:27:45.108 Stay tuned. 01:27:45.168 --> 01:27:45.888 Full is Kershaw. 01:27:45.908 --> 01:27:46.508 She's coming up. 01:27:46.568 --> 01:27:47.568 Have a wonderful weekend. 01:27:47.588 --> 01:27:51.830 Thank you to everybody who's contributed to Text the Nation and in other respects. 01:27:52.030 --> 01:27:52.210 Yeah. 01:27:52.230 --> 01:27:56.051 And don't forget our podcast will be available on Mondays and evenings. 01:27:56.071 --> 01:27:56.311 Yeah. 01:27:56.511 --> 01:27:58.992 And this show is also available during the week on Listen Again. 01:27:59.012 --> 01:28:00.032 And pay a visit to the blog. 01:28:00.552 --> 01:28:01.252 Thanks for caring. 01:28:01.272 --> 01:28:01.912 I love you. 01:28:01.932 --> 01:28:02.453 Bye. 01:28:02.513 --> 01:28:02.633 Bye.