WEBVTT 00:00.189 --> 00:03.052 Oh, and welcome to the Big British Castle. 00:03.212 --> 00:06.795 It's time for Adam and Joe to broadcast on the radio. 00:07.015 --> 00:10.298 There'll be some music and some random talkie in between. 00:10.679 --> 00:13.441 And then, eventually, the whole thing will just end. 00:13.461 --> 00:18.886 Flag squadron! 00:18.906 --> 00:21.128 Always catch the beginning of the show. 00:21.148 --> 00:23.751 Flag squadron don't wanna miss a thing. 00:24.031 --> 00:26.413 That's not the right flag squadron role. 00:29.818 --> 00:37.206 Went to bed at a reasonable hour Gotta be sharp on Saturday morning That's the secret of the squirt 00:41.104 --> 00:47.109 Good morning Black Squadron, you are the elite listening force, the faithful, the few of the few, the best of the few. 00:47.129 --> 00:48.610 The poo- what? 00:49.030 --> 00:49.871 The what of the what? 00:50.271 --> 00:51.132 The few of the poo? 00:51.452 --> 00:52.573 No, the poo of the few. 00:53.533 --> 00:58.597 Black Squadron are the elite listening squad that listen to this show live, between 9am and 9.30am every morning. 01:00.879 --> 01:03.802 If you're in another country listening live, you're Globe Squadron. 01:04.462 --> 01:08.326 There are various other squadron subsets that can be researched. 01:08.466 --> 01:08.706 Yeah. 01:08.906 --> 01:10.287 Rupert Everett, are you talking about? 01:10.988 --> 01:13.050 He was in another country and he might be listening live. 01:13.230 --> 01:13.510 Nice. 01:14.051 --> 01:15.392 Yeah, exactly. 01:15.852 --> 01:17.193 Rupert, what do you think of his new face? 01:17.674 --> 01:18.475 Has he got a new face? 01:18.515 --> 01:19.776 Yeah, he's had his face done. 01:20.036 --> 01:21.417 He's had it totally reconstructed. 01:21.437 --> 01:24.340 Especially for his, he made a documentary about Lord Byron. 01:24.700 --> 01:25.361 Oh, yes. 01:25.521 --> 01:27.623 And he's had a new face done for it. 01:28.183 --> 01:29.984 Because that's a byronic thing to do. 01:30.784 --> 01:32.445 Byron was obsessed with being young. 01:32.765 --> 01:33.086 Yeah. 01:33.186 --> 01:33.446 Was he? 01:34.146 --> 01:34.606 I think so. 01:34.646 --> 01:35.667 He was a dandy, wasn't he? 01:35.687 --> 01:36.167 Probably. 01:36.187 --> 01:36.707 He was vain. 01:37.007 --> 01:38.408 He looks very young and handsome now. 01:38.548 --> 01:38.808 Does he? 01:38.828 --> 01:41.210 He doesn't look like a freaky kind of plastic man. 01:41.270 --> 01:41.830 Yes, he does. 01:43.771 --> 01:44.531 Very young and handsome. 01:44.571 --> 01:47.293 That's what usually happens when people have surgery on their face. 01:47.333 --> 01:47.493 Oh, dear. 01:47.853 --> 01:49.894 I just had a crank too flashback. 01:50.307 --> 01:50.707 What's that? 01:51.168 --> 01:52.068 It's a film, Crank 2. 01:52.388 --> 01:53.269 I watched it last night. 01:53.769 --> 01:55.390 You had a little flashback. 01:55.450 --> 01:56.431 It's traumatised me. 01:57.371 --> 02:01.173 A woman gets shot in her plastic bosoms. 02:01.574 --> 02:02.034 Right. 02:03.615 --> 02:05.476 They're pushing out the boat. 02:05.516 --> 02:07.057 That was only 15 minutes in. 02:07.077 --> 02:08.938 I think you have great new things to show people. 02:09.438 --> 02:11.299 That visual just flashed back into my head. 02:11.339 --> 02:12.360 You loved Crank 1 as well. 02:12.540 --> 02:13.941 I did love Crank One. 02:14.021 --> 02:18.865 You recommended that so strongly that I took it home one Christmas when we had loads of people staying with us. 02:18.885 --> 02:19.945 Christmas with Crank. 02:20.286 --> 02:21.146 Christmas with Crank. 02:21.486 --> 02:22.527 I got some Christmas with Crank. 02:22.867 --> 02:25.869 And so there was an evening, and it was an exciting evening. 02:25.930 --> 02:27.651 I said, come on, let's watch a film. 02:28.011 --> 02:28.812 This is a good one. 02:28.872 --> 02:29.712 Everyone's like, what have you got? 02:30.012 --> 02:30.833 Oh, it's a good one. 02:31.073 --> 02:32.394 It's been recommended to me by Joe. 02:32.414 --> 02:33.095 You had guests around. 02:33.175 --> 02:33.355 Yeah. 02:33.975 --> 02:36.758 This is a really good... Joe says this is amazing. 02:37.198 --> 02:37.798 Stuck it on. 02:37.858 --> 02:39.540 Projected it on the wall and everything. 02:39.560 --> 02:40.721 Got everyone to sit round. 02:41.121 --> 02:41.662 Hand it out. 02:41.762 --> 02:42.042 Snackles. 02:42.062 --> 02:42.222 Snackles. 02:42.242 --> 02:42.362 Crank! 02:42.382 --> 02:42.502 Crank! 02:42.522 --> 02:42.622 Crank! 02:42.642 --> 02:42.743 Crank! 02:42.763 --> 02:42.903 Crank! 02:42.923 --> 02:43.023 Crank! 02:43.483 --> 02:43.663 Crank! 02:43.683 --> 02:43.783 Crank! 02:43.803 --> 02:43.903 Crank! 02:43.924 --> 02:44.064 Crank! 02:44.084 --> 02:44.184 Crank! 02:44.204 --> 02:44.304 Crank! 02:44.324 --> 02:44.444 Crank! 02:44.464 --> 02:44.564 Crank! 02:44.584 --> 02:44.684 Crank! 02:44.704 --> 02:44.804 Crank! 02:44.824 --> 02:44.924 Crank! 02:44.944 --> 02:45.044 Crank! 02:45.064 --> 02:45.165 Crank! 02:45.185 --> 02:45.285 Crank! 02:45.305 --> 02:45.445 Crank! 02:46.105 --> 02:46.326 Crank! 02:46.426 --> 02:46.866 Crank! 02:47.627 --> 02:47.747 Crank! 02:47.767 --> 02:47.887 Crank! 02:47.927 --> 02:48.087 Crank! 02:48.107 --> 02:48.387 Crank! 02:48.447 --> 02:48.647 Crank! 02:48.667 --> 02:48.788 Crank! 02:48.808 --> 02:48.968 Crank! 02:48.988 --> 02:49.088 Crank! 02:49.108 --> 02:49.208 Crank! 02:49.228 --> 02:49.368 Crank! 02:49.388 --> 02:49.508 Crank! 02:49.528 --> 02:49.708 Crank! 02:49.728 --> 02:49.828 Crank! 02:49.848 --> 02:49.969 Crank! 02:49.989 --> 02:50.129 Crank! 02:50.149 --> 02:50.289 Crank! 02:50.329 --> 02:50.469 Crank! 02:50.489 --> 02:50.689 Crank! 02:50.709 --> 02:51.210 Crank! 02:51.230 --> 02:51.370 Crank! 02:51.430 --> 02:51.650 Crank! 02:51.670 --> 02:51.770 Crank! 02:51.790 --> 02:51.890 Crank! 02:51.910 --> 02:52.010 Crank! 02:52.030 --> 02:52.130 Crank! 02:52.170 --> 02:52.270 Crank! 02:52.491 --> 02:52.651 Crank! 02:52.671 --> 02:52.851 Crank! 02:52.871 --> 02:53.111 Crank! 02:53.131 --> 02:53.291 Crank! 02:53.311 --> 02:53.431 Crank! 02:53.451 --> 02:53.572 Crank! 02:53.632 --> 02:53.892 Crank! 02:53.912 --> 02:54.032 Crank! 02:54.052 --> 02:54.252 Crank! 02:54.272 --> 02:54.412 Crank! 02:54.432 --> 02:54.712 Crank! 02:55.493 --> 02:56.113 I'm gonna go. 02:56.493 --> 02:57.954 I'm quite tired. 02:58.194 --> 02:58.814 I'll see you tomorrow. 02:58.834 --> 02:59.815 Well, that was a lovely day. 02:59.855 --> 03:00.395 Thanks very much. 03:00.415 --> 03:02.696 It's like screening it in an old people's home. 03:03.036 --> 03:05.117 A bunch of crotchety old grandads. 03:05.357 --> 03:06.517 Cranks the future! 03:06.537 --> 03:10.599 If you're not into crank, then you might as well give up on culture. 03:11.399 --> 03:12.580 Cranks the new beginning! 03:13.500 --> 03:17.723 Have you got a message for Black Squadron? 03:18.063 --> 03:19.864 Not only have I got a message, I've got a command. 03:20.545 --> 03:22.406 Black Squadron, you're about to be issued your command. 03:22.446 --> 03:29.470 Remember, if you don't carry out this command, you can consider yourself summarily ejected from the squadron. 03:30.151 --> 03:32.072 You can kick yourself out of your own front door. 03:32.932 --> 03:34.013 So we're going to play a record. 03:34.433 --> 03:37.155 Just before the record, we're going to give you the command that you have to undertake. 03:37.215 --> 03:38.256 Is the record standing by? 03:39.256 --> 03:40.957 Okay, Black Squadron, here's your command. 03:41.478 --> 03:48.863 Proceed as quickly as possible to a mirror, look at yourself in it, slap yourself round the face and shout, SNAP OUT OF IT! 03:49.443 --> 03:54.547 The largest amount of pots, pans and kitchen implements ever used at once on a pop record. 03:54.567 --> 03:55.147 Did you know that? 03:55.448 --> 03:57.529 That was Kiss of Life by Friendly Fires. 03:57.989 --> 03:59.491 You invented that fact though, didn't you? 03:59.711 --> 03:59.931 Yes. 04:00.822 --> 04:02.503 That was an invented fact. 04:02.623 --> 04:04.263 We should have an invented fact jingle on this show. 04:04.283 --> 04:05.484 We'd be playing it round the clock. 04:05.664 --> 04:07.305 That was an invented fact. 04:07.985 --> 04:10.626 That was based on spurious guesswork. 04:10.866 --> 04:11.826 Could be the other jingle. 04:11.946 --> 04:12.266 Yeah. 04:12.827 --> 04:15.808 Kiss of Life by Friendly Fires is the song we just played. 04:15.828 --> 04:21.090 Friendly Fires are presenting a show on Six Music this Sunday as part of our month of Mercurys. 04:22.050 --> 04:34.300 And they didn't win anything at the Mercurys, I'm afraid to say, but that hasn't stopped them, you know, putting their chin up, jutting their chin out and saying, never mind, there's always next year, there's always the chance we might get a Mercury nom next year. 04:34.440 --> 04:36.181 Who won the Mercury nom last year? 04:36.982 --> 04:39.484 Well, the big Mercury winners were Elbow, weren't they? 04:40.044 --> 04:40.625 Ah, were they? 04:41.085 --> 04:42.567 And this year it was speech to Bell. 04:43.267 --> 04:46.770 I mean, Elbow was sort of well established before they won the Mercury. 04:47.110 --> 04:52.155 So there's no question of them fading from view the way some people who have won the Mercury Prize in the past have done. 04:52.315 --> 04:52.996 Have they really? 04:53.036 --> 04:55.938 Do some people consider it as a bit of a kiss of death? 04:56.098 --> 04:58.580 Well, it's a poisoned chalice for some people, isn't it? 04:58.661 --> 05:00.822 Who was the guy Ronnie Sighs and his represent? 05:01.043 --> 05:05.887 Right, you don't really want approbation from above, do you, if you're a rebellious pop type? 05:06.688 --> 05:07.288 No, exactly. 05:07.308 --> 05:09.050 You don't want to be formed prefect or the head boy. 05:09.070 --> 05:10.591 You don't want to be stroked by the head boy. 05:10.611 --> 05:12.133 You want to be at the back of the bus flicking these. 05:12.153 --> 05:12.493 Certainly. 05:13.134 --> 05:14.735 Well done, Speech to Bell. 05:15.035 --> 05:15.496 Well done. 05:16.517 --> 05:19.500 All the chaps think you've done a brilliant job on your album. 05:19.520 --> 05:20.841 You're gobbing in the street. 05:20.901 --> 05:22.823 It's the best gobbing in the school. 05:23.303 --> 05:25.085 Well done with your Flemmy bits. 05:25.465 --> 05:28.769 You're a naughty chap and we think that's great. 05:29.390 --> 05:30.331 Top marks. 05:30.591 --> 05:32.753 Here's a prize and a cheque to go with. 05:32.933 --> 05:35.956 We've given up, trying to get everybody to speak proper. 05:36.237 --> 05:38.940 From now on, the whole school gonna speak not proper. 05:39.480 --> 05:41.541 And you're going to be the leader of them. 05:41.921 --> 05:42.801 Wicked, well done. 05:43.202 --> 05:43.922 Grim, grim, grim it. 05:44.302 --> 05:45.383 Grim, grim, grim it. 05:45.563 --> 05:53.106 Listen, I'm not going to dress the same way as you just say, you know, or behave like you, or actually listen to the records you're buying, making. 05:53.486 --> 05:54.866 But good job. 05:54.906 --> 05:55.567 There's the check. 05:55.787 --> 05:57.768 I want people to think I'm cool like you. 05:57.968 --> 05:59.068 Stand next to you. 05:59.468 --> 06:00.389 Give you a prize. 06:00.669 --> 06:02.410 Look at me disco dancing. 06:02.690 --> 06:05.071 Speech to Belle come round for dinner with me. 06:06.071 --> 06:10.916 That's what the head of the Mercury is, a little song he sung just backstage after he'd given her the prize. 06:10.936 --> 06:16.641 You know, the people that decide the Mercury Prize, the nominees and the winners, are nothing like that. 06:17.121 --> 06:17.882 Freddie Mercury. 06:18.542 --> 06:20.144 It's nothing to do with Freddie Mercury. 06:20.584 --> 06:24.828 They're all young, intelligent, groovy people, nothing like the way we've just characterized them. 06:24.848 --> 06:26.229 It's another made up fact. 06:26.309 --> 06:27.951 It's another made up fact. 06:27.991 --> 06:31.113 You see, we just have to have that as a music bed, basically, not a jingle. 06:31.354 --> 06:32.635 Now, can you hear that I've got a cold? 06:32.995 --> 06:37.637 Yeah, listeners, Adam came in today looking very under the weather with a terrible cold. 06:38.098 --> 06:38.958 Yeah. 06:39.038 --> 06:40.599 And you're doing very well done coming in. 06:40.619 --> 06:41.840 I've got some Medicaid decisions. 06:42.040 --> 06:46.782 Well, I wasn't sure if I should come in, because, you know, a few months back, it was a big deal. 06:46.802 --> 06:50.424 Like, on the news, it was like, well, if you've got a cold, should you go into work? 06:50.784 --> 06:57.388 And the consensus was, no, you shouldn't, because it's putting your coworkers at risk of the pandemic. 06:58.648 --> 07:01.150 But then I thought the pandemic's over a little you just flinched. 07:01.230 --> 07:14.098 Well, I said that very loud and I suddenly had a sort of Medical flash you I should have covered my mouth with I could see the disease molecules flying through the air towards me covering my mouth with a Medicated tissue. 07:14.118 --> 07:16.220 I had a macro flash better. 07:16.800 --> 07:17.420 Yeah, that's better. 07:17.461 --> 07:17.981 Keep talking. 07:18.001 --> 07:19.042 I can't I Can't do that. 07:19.082 --> 07:19.702 It's ridiculous 07:23.204 --> 07:30.352 But no, I did wonder if I should come in, but then on the other hand the good thing about having a cold is that it does give a special quality to your voice, right? 07:31.493 --> 07:32.915 A special kind of a tambra. 07:33.382 --> 07:34.243 Yeah, no, it's good. 07:34.303 --> 07:35.024 It's sounding good. 07:35.504 --> 07:36.725 I sound a bit like the lady. 07:36.826 --> 07:41.250 Who's the lady that does the sort of trails before our show starts? 07:41.290 --> 07:42.071 Can you play that thing? 07:42.091 --> 07:43.332 The sexy, bored one. 07:43.352 --> 07:44.073 The sexy one. 07:44.093 --> 07:45.614 She says everything the same way. 07:45.634 --> 07:46.335 I'm so bored. 07:46.355 --> 07:46.775 Yes, she is. 07:46.816 --> 07:47.316 Sexy. 07:47.376 --> 07:48.377 Six music. 07:48.477 --> 07:49.778 Today from two. 07:49.798 --> 07:50.679 John Hose. 07:50.940 --> 07:51.200 Yeah. 07:51.220 --> 07:52.962 From midday. 07:53.562 --> 07:54.543 Liz Kershaw. 07:54.583 --> 07:54.923 What? 07:55.143 --> 07:57.005 And now, it's Adam and Joe. 07:57.025 --> 07:57.785 Who cares? 07:57.885 --> 07:59.226 She just talks like that. 07:59.246 --> 08:00.027 Stuff him down the toilet. 08:00.047 --> 08:00.787 All the time. 08:00.807 --> 08:01.328 Who cares? 08:01.388 --> 08:03.850 Listen darling, I'm going to the shops. 08:04.270 --> 08:05.491 Do you want anything? 08:06.271 --> 08:07.272 Actually hang on. 08:07.612 --> 08:08.153 Tonight? 08:08.473 --> 08:08.793 What? 08:09.113 --> 08:09.794 Half price. 08:10.354 --> 08:11.155 Fish fingers. 08:11.455 --> 08:11.835 Yeah. 08:12.236 --> 08:12.716 Yeah. 08:13.256 --> 08:14.958 Do you want fish fingers for tea? 08:15.538 --> 08:17.420 Okay, that's what we'll have. 08:18.140 --> 08:21.203 Do you want potatoes or broccoli? 08:21.323 --> 08:21.743 It's 7.15. 08:21.863 --> 08:22.324 Or both. 08:22.344 --> 08:23.425 The bill. 08:23.445 --> 08:26.707 I don't know why she extended it there. 08:26.848 --> 08:27.748 I think she got stuck. 08:29.109 --> 08:31.712 Also, folks, we've got Song Wars coming up. 08:31.892 --> 08:33.173 We failed to tease that so far. 08:33.493 --> 08:34.254 15 minutes into the show. 08:34.434 --> 08:39.557 We're going to do that maybe between 10 and 10.30 maybe give them their first outings or before that maybe before 10. 08:39.617 --> 08:39.937 Who knows? 08:39.997 --> 08:40.437 Nobody knows. 08:40.477 --> 08:40.938 Nobody knows. 08:41.098 --> 08:46.100 But in the next quarter of an hour, sorry to interrupt you there Joe, we're going to do retro text the nation. 08:46.321 --> 08:51.383 We're going to be wrapping up our business from last week's text the nation which was our cinema manifesto. 08:52.324 --> 08:57.827 That's going to happen in the next 15 minutes, maybe even in the next link or after a couple of tracks. 08:57.987 --> 09:03.713 Here's a free play for you right now, and this is getting into the spirit of our Song Wars battle, which was all about baths, right? 09:03.974 --> 09:04.374 Yes. 09:04.554 --> 09:07.818 We've done bath songs for you, which you can hear after 10 o'clock on the show. 09:08.219 --> 09:12.043 So this is the first of a couple of specially themed free plays for me. 09:12.063 --> 09:12.223 Nice. 09:12.523 --> 09:14.766 This is Zafex Twin with Analog Bubble Bath. 09:15.251 --> 09:29.839 I like to listen to Adam and Jo But I listen to the podcast, not the live show I used to feel a cute frustration Because I couldn't join in with Tex the Nation 09:30.479 --> 09:44.822 But now my troubles have disappeared Because reds protect the nations here And now my letter might be read out Instead of thrown in the trash and forgotten about 09:46.519 --> 10:00.009 Yes, listeners, it's time for Retro Text the Nation, and if you don't listen to this show in podcast form, then this will be a new kind of feature for you, and the idea is to kind of settle business with last week's Text the Nation subject. 10:00.109 --> 10:10.257 It's an opportunity for podcast listeners to contribute to the programme, you see, because if the show is live and then they listen to the show during the week, then they can't contribute to Text the Nation, right? 10:10.417 --> 10:13.219 But with Retro Text the Nation, they can, because they get a 10:13.699 --> 10:15.000 One more chance, right? 10:15.040 --> 10:16.080 The following weekend? 10:16.120 --> 10:17.321 Or listen again, listeners. 10:18.102 --> 10:21.063 You don't want to make any kind of a... Actually, I do. 10:21.083 --> 10:23.404 Well, you didn't know what I was going to say. 10:23.444 --> 10:26.606 You don't want to make any kind of a... And now you've said you do. 10:26.786 --> 10:27.187 I do. 10:27.347 --> 10:36.011 What if I was going to say you don't want to make any kind of a small fascist state that you command over and rule with a hideously violent regime of oppression? 10:36.031 --> 10:37.752 That's exactly what I want to do. 10:37.912 --> 10:38.413 Whereabouts? 10:39.073 --> 10:40.674 I want to construct it up. 10:41.234 --> 10:42.174 near where I live. 10:42.475 --> 10:43.635 Up near where you live. 10:44.615 --> 10:45.216 In a tent. 10:45.236 --> 10:46.916 Don't put it all the way up near where you live. 10:46.936 --> 10:50.177 You know, because I've got no truck with the Listen Again listeners. 10:50.237 --> 10:51.758 I want to fight all of them. 10:51.978 --> 10:52.258 What? 10:52.278 --> 10:53.198 I want to fight. 10:53.238 --> 10:54.259 There's only 50 of them. 10:54.859 --> 10:56.179 I can take all of them on. 10:56.199 --> 10:58.300 There's no more than 50 of them. 10:58.320 --> 10:58.300 55,000. 10:58.560 --> 11:02.442 There's probably hundreds and thousands. 11:02.502 --> 11:03.322 I'm not scared of them. 11:03.482 --> 11:04.864 They're hundreds and thousands. 11:04.904 --> 11:10.711 I'm supposed to be impressed by them and the fact they can listen to something on the iPlayer without it sticking every two seconds. 11:11.152 --> 11:12.293 I'm supposed to be impressed by that. 11:12.814 --> 11:13.314 You're not. 11:13.354 --> 11:14.376 You're gonna regret that. 11:15.063 --> 11:17.604 You've alienated a massive tranche of listeners. 11:17.624 --> 11:20.126 I thought you were going to say I've alienated Tron. 11:20.966 --> 11:22.687 You've alienated a massive Tron. 11:23.087 --> 11:24.228 I've alienated Tron. 11:24.268 --> 11:24.989 That would be awful. 11:25.569 --> 11:28.150 Listen, we should get on with this because the news is coming up and we'll run out of time. 11:28.250 --> 11:28.410 Yes. 11:28.831 --> 11:32.973 But last week's Texan Nation subject was contributions to a cinema manifesto. 11:33.013 --> 11:38.156 Ten points which will improve the enjoyability of cinemas around the country. 11:38.596 --> 11:40.177 Improving the experience of going to the cinema. 11:40.277 --> 11:42.899 OK, so we've got 13 candidate points. 11:43.680 --> 11:46.462 You've got to tell us, Adam, which one of these are going to make it onto the manifesto. 11:46.982 --> 11:48.303 This is from Gary Chamberlain. 11:48.363 --> 11:51.986 He says, and this was a good one, cinema should have headphone sockets in the seats. 11:52.566 --> 11:53.006 I like it. 11:53.407 --> 11:54.027 We're going for that. 11:54.067 --> 11:55.248 That's going on the manifesto. 11:55.408 --> 11:56.289 I really like that one. 11:56.309 --> 11:56.549 Tick. 11:56.969 --> 12:01.252 Tom in Loughborough says, when the film is on, the cinema should be engulfed in utter darkness. 12:01.612 --> 12:03.694 The only light in the room should be from the projector. 12:03.894 --> 12:04.434 Absolutely. 12:04.474 --> 12:07.997 So he wants exit signs, got rid of any kind of distracting points of light. 12:08.237 --> 12:10.058 You can have little glowy exit signs. 12:10.118 --> 12:11.139 No, no, no. 12:11.199 --> 12:11.800 Tom says no. 12:12.120 --> 12:12.960 No health and safety. 12:13.021 --> 12:14.542 No other light apart from the projector. 12:14.702 --> 12:15.102 Fair enough. 12:15.362 --> 12:15.602 Yes. 12:16.043 --> 12:16.583 Yeah, I like it. 12:16.703 --> 12:18.825 People might get hurt, but it's a small price to pay. 12:18.845 --> 12:19.225 I don't mind. 12:19.245 --> 12:20.046 For enjoyment. 12:20.186 --> 12:25.149 Pauline Maidenhead, all popcorn should be crushed and chewed so that when eaten, it does not disrupt the film. 12:25.169 --> 12:26.350 Yeah, we discussed this in detail. 12:26.490 --> 12:26.971 We did. 12:27.151 --> 12:31.074 Like, whether you want spotty teenagers feeding you food like a bird. 12:31.214 --> 12:33.055 Premasticated popcorn. 12:34.156 --> 12:36.757 Is there any way we could just get attractive people to do it? 12:37.678 --> 12:38.398 Sexy people. 12:39.138 --> 12:40.699 Then I would really go for the idea. 12:40.959 --> 12:44.941 Like the shop Abercrombie and Fitch apparently only employs really sexy staff. 12:44.981 --> 12:45.601 Did you read about that? 12:45.621 --> 12:47.162 They've got in trouble for discrimination. 12:47.262 --> 12:47.822 Allegedly. 12:48.022 --> 12:48.582 Allegedly. 12:48.622 --> 12:48.803 Yeah. 12:49.163 --> 12:50.303 So it would be a bit like that. 12:50.783 --> 12:51.224 Right. 12:52.464 --> 12:53.385 Sexy discrimination. 12:53.405 --> 12:55.686 So you'd prefer like a sexy staff member. 12:55.766 --> 12:56.026 Yeah. 12:56.046 --> 12:58.747 Deep, masticated food from a sexy staff member. 12:58.787 --> 12:59.107 Duh. 12:59.127 --> 13:00.007 Alright. 13:00.168 --> 13:00.988 That's a no-brainer. 13:01.488 --> 13:02.408 I'd do it. 13:02.469 --> 13:02.889 It's in. 13:02.949 --> 13:03.709 It's point number three. 13:03.749 --> 13:04.229 Point number four. 13:04.289 --> 13:11.372 Seat should be magnetised to stop people going to the toilet more than once, said Dave and Mike, even if this involves inserting metal into their buttocks. 13:11.412 --> 13:12.733 You know, this is a fun idea. 13:12.913 --> 13:15.614 It's a fun idea, but I'm not going for it. 13:15.674 --> 13:18.496 It's totally impractical to insert metal into the butox. 13:18.516 --> 13:20.076 Just quickly, I'd say it can be done. 13:20.136 --> 13:22.957 That kind of quick surgery is practiced by the NHS all the time. 13:23.017 --> 13:23.818 No, no, no. 13:23.858 --> 13:24.798 Plus I like going to the loo. 13:24.818 --> 13:25.939 All right. 13:26.779 --> 13:30.042 People must clap and cheer when the film certificate is shown at the beginning of the film to show their excitement. 13:30.342 --> 13:33.484 That's a kind of retro thing that people used to do in the past, they've stopped doing. 13:33.644 --> 13:34.505 We're going to force people to. 13:34.705 --> 13:39.609 Yes, cinema passport, you receive a stamp every time you see a film so you can show off about the films you've seen. 13:39.629 --> 13:40.009 What do you think? 13:40.029 --> 13:40.689 You don't like that. 13:40.709 --> 13:41.870 I'm not so sure about that one. 13:41.930 --> 13:44.012 I don't like passports at all in general. 13:44.052 --> 13:48.415 Cinema should provide armrests for each seat to avoid elbow jostling. 13:48.435 --> 13:49.075 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 13:49.556 --> 13:50.016 I'm worried. 13:50.036 --> 13:51.978 I think we're going to crash the news. 13:52.498 --> 13:53.178 We've got two minutes. 13:54.379 --> 13:57.800 Coats on seats are acceptable, but those seats should be paid for. 13:58.320 --> 13:59.361 There isn't a name after this. 13:59.441 --> 14:03.562 This came in from a very opinionated listener who we suspected might be a cinema manager. 14:03.602 --> 14:05.203 A cinema manager who wants to make some extra money. 14:05.563 --> 14:06.203 No, that's not on it. 14:06.223 --> 14:06.723 It's coming off. 14:07.824 --> 14:11.005 Well, this means you've rejected three, so we've got to have all the rest. 14:11.105 --> 14:14.866 Seats should be assigned in height order, so tall people always sit at the back. 14:14.906 --> 14:17.687 That's from Robin High's... It doesn't have to be a ten-point plan, though, does it? 14:17.707 --> 14:17.887 Yes. 14:18.267 --> 14:18.708 Okay. 14:18.728 --> 14:19.668 From Church Crookham. 14:20.308 --> 14:21.149 So that has to go in. 14:22.190 --> 14:27.335 David Des Moines from Iowa in the USA says, no advertisements or previews before the movie starts. 14:27.395 --> 14:32.400 The movie will start at the stated time, not 15 minutes later after the previews and advertisements. 14:33.902 --> 14:34.722 What's he saying there? 14:34.803 --> 14:36.324 Is he banning trailers? 14:37.265 --> 14:38.066 Are you all right? 14:38.406 --> 14:41.769 Yeah, I'm just looking at his message and thinking about it with my mind. 14:43.191 --> 14:43.551 I don't know. 14:44.692 --> 14:45.992 We don't know what he'd say. 14:46.493 --> 14:47.873 Hey, here is someone called Tron. 14:48.413 --> 14:52.234 Tron Halstvet, formerly of Glasgow, now in Q8, says... Uh-huh. 15:05.399 --> 15:06.701 Ah, this is confusing, isn't it? 15:07.222 --> 15:12.290 I think he's talking about a sort of klaxon going off when an important scene happens, so you can pay attention. 15:12.310 --> 15:13.052 Yep, yep. 15:13.292 --> 15:15.175 Would you have that klaxon go off? 15:15.456 --> 15:15.656 No! 15:19.345 --> 15:22.126 Listen, should we go to the news and come back to this? 15:22.486 --> 15:24.367 No, there's no way we're coming back to this. 15:24.387 --> 15:25.247 Are you insane? 15:25.627 --> 15:26.167 That's great. 15:26.207 --> 15:28.128 Thanks very much for all your suggestions. 15:28.168 --> 15:29.709 That's the end of our plan. 15:29.729 --> 15:31.069 It doesn't have to be a 10-point plan. 15:31.129 --> 15:32.770 It's a brilliant cinema manifesto. 15:32.790 --> 15:33.970 We appreciate all your help. 15:33.990 --> 15:36.711 Listen, we'll tidy this up and stick it on the blog and tidy it up. 15:36.731 --> 15:44.354 We've got to stand down in the morning, Black Squadron, and then we'll go straight into the news at 9.30 here on BBC Six Music. 15:48.124 --> 15:50.165 Stand down, your work is done. 15:50.185 --> 15:53.126 You've earned yourself a nice warm bath. 15:53.746 --> 15:55.687 And maybe a nice little bun. 15:55.707 --> 16:02.070 I was just saying while that was playing, there's a lot of longers in that song. 16:02.090 --> 16:04.931 I mean, that's a brilliant classic song, Roxy Music, Love is the Drug, right? 16:05.311 --> 16:13.694 But still, there's like long sections that if I was the editor in there, if I was producing that, I'd just say, listen, no one's going to mind if we just nip that bit out. 16:13.914 --> 16:15.275 What, bits when he's not singing? 16:15.615 --> 16:16.135 When he's going... 16:18.402 --> 16:31.680 yeah i mean are you applying your song wars mind to that because you couldn't really get away with that in the song wars could you no absolutely you'd have to you'd have to think i'm gonna lose them if i if i spend 16 bars just go oh 16:32.312 --> 16:35.135 But that's the difference between a real song and our songs. 16:35.815 --> 16:37.977 In real songs you can get away with that kind of thing. 16:38.598 --> 16:42.202 In our songs you think, well, I gotta be imparting some sort of information. 16:42.222 --> 16:43.182 But this is what I'm saying. 16:43.503 --> 16:45.625 Even Brian Ferry is not allowed. 16:46.165 --> 16:47.607 That level of indulgence. 16:48.067 --> 16:48.928 Oh, come along. 16:49.248 --> 16:49.989 That's rubbish, isn't it? 16:50.149 --> 16:50.990 Yeah, it's rubbish. 16:51.030 --> 16:52.291 He can, he can OO us. 16:52.551 --> 16:53.992 He can do whatever he wants. 16:54.152 --> 16:54.932 In a lounge suit. 16:55.333 --> 16:55.633 Yeah. 16:55.973 --> 16:56.974 Yeah, I don't know what I'm saying. 16:56.994 --> 16:59.816 I thought it sounded lovely and it was integral to the structure of the song. 16:59.856 --> 17:01.056 Listen, I absolutely love the song. 17:01.096 --> 17:04.659 I'm not bringing it, actually I am bringing it down, aren't I? 17:04.699 --> 17:09.782 Supergrass, not supergrass, but hot rats do a cover of that track on their forthcoming album. 17:09.822 --> 17:11.023 Are you saying they do it better? 17:11.043 --> 17:12.944 Do they cut out the ers? 17:14.525 --> 17:17.047 If they don't, then you haven't got a leg to stand on. 17:17.287 --> 17:18.148 No, I don't, do I? 17:18.748 --> 17:19.949 That wouldn't be the first time, though. 17:20.389 --> 17:20.629 No. 17:20.869 --> 17:22.530 I'm more or less hobbling around without a leg to stand on. 17:22.550 --> 17:23.551 Your peg leg buckles. 17:23.571 --> 17:24.851 Your peg leg buckles. 17:24.871 --> 17:26.352 Here comes peg leg buckles. 17:26.532 --> 17:28.353 I've got no leg to stand on! 17:30.534 --> 17:31.835 Yeah, he's only got one leg to stand on. 17:31.875 --> 17:33.856 This time this film's going on too long! 17:34.176 --> 17:38.038 If he's ever trying to make a point, you just kick the peg leg away and he falls over. 17:41.220 --> 17:43.241 It's supposed to be the best film ever, mate. 17:43.481 --> 17:44.261 I don't think so. 17:44.401 --> 17:45.682 I want to cut out the middle bit. 17:46.162 --> 17:46.382 Why? 17:46.402 --> 17:47.263 I don't know. 17:47.283 --> 17:48.743 I haven't got a leg to stand on. 17:48.904 --> 17:49.424 Kick the leg. 17:50.362 --> 17:52.483 So listen, how did you get on with your song wars this week? 17:54.004 --> 17:54.905 Well, I did it. 17:55.005 --> 18:00.368 I mean, the thing about song wars is that it's just, it's not so much the actual man hours that go into the song. 18:00.408 --> 18:01.729 It's the psychological pressure. 18:02.669 --> 18:04.530 The psychological pain, yeah. 18:04.570 --> 18:07.152 Yeah, it squats on your psyche the whole week. 18:07.192 --> 18:09.373 When did you complete yours? 18:09.833 --> 18:10.754 Last night at midnight. 18:11.034 --> 18:11.514 Really? 18:11.554 --> 18:11.735 Yeah. 18:12.555 --> 18:15.877 If you're a new listener to the show, we make these Song Wars songs during the week. 18:15.917 --> 18:19.998 We decide on the theme, well, in last week's show, so we've had exactly a week. 18:20.799 --> 18:22.199 And you know, we've both got jobs. 18:22.540 --> 18:22.760 Yeah. 18:23.060 --> 18:24.621 Yeah, this is just a hobby, really. 18:24.941 --> 18:25.621 We've both got jobs. 18:25.681 --> 18:26.822 One of us has even got a family. 18:27.082 --> 18:27.382 Yeah. 18:27.882 --> 18:32.924 So it's very hard to get the songwriting in, but we managed it, right? 18:32.984 --> 18:33.504 How about you? 18:34.185 --> 18:37.566 Well, I finished mine at about nine last night, ten last night. 18:37.586 --> 18:37.946 Confident? 18:38.426 --> 18:41.448 I said, I basically decreed that I would watch Crank 2. 18:41.848 --> 18:42.208 Oh, right. 18:42.228 --> 18:43.068 I will watch Crank 2! 18:45.009 --> 18:46.570 But no, I'm not confident at all. 18:46.670 --> 18:46.990 You know. 18:47.250 --> 18:47.430 No. 18:47.530 --> 18:48.171 Not just saying that. 18:48.391 --> 18:49.351 I'm not just saying it. 18:50.191 --> 18:55.814 I think, put it this way, if my song didn't exist within the context of Song Wars, there's no way 18:56.534 --> 18:59.196 it would ever, existence would be justified at all. 18:59.656 --> 18:59.936 Right. 19:00.116 --> 19:00.837 Do you know what I mean? 19:00.857 --> 19:01.817 There's no reason it would exist. 19:01.837 --> 19:04.619 Do you think it's actually negatively occupying space? 19:05.039 --> 19:06.160 Possibly, yes. 19:06.280 --> 19:09.682 Do you think actually existence is utterly, utterly offensive? 19:09.942 --> 19:10.182 Yeah. 19:10.282 --> 19:10.922 And wasteful. 19:11.483 --> 19:11.783 Yeah. 19:12.323 --> 19:13.904 It's a waste of my time. 19:14.604 --> 19:16.605 It's a waste of time on the program. 19:17.146 --> 19:18.527 It's thematically a waste. 19:19.047 --> 19:22.629 I think it's destructive towards the subjects that are mentioned in it. 19:22.989 --> 19:23.990 How could we get rid of it? 19:24.790 --> 19:43.301 like you'd have to you'd have to get rid of first of all you had drawn collider I don't know you'd have to do some kind of anti-matter thing to get rid of first of all you get rid of all the files you have to have some kind of eternal sunshine of the spotless mind style mind wipe to get rid of the any tune that might be in there and something would go wrong and I'd be trapped in the song or something yeah 19:43.801 --> 19:51.785 Anyway, you can find out whether that level of alarm is justified after 10 o'clock when we unveil our song wall songs about baths. 19:52.346 --> 19:54.106 But right now, here's some real music. 19:54.246 --> 19:58.989 This is LaRue with her crazy hair and a track called I'm Not Your Toy. 19:59.269 --> 19:59.869 Bink, not me. 20:00.310 --> 20:00.770 Yeah. 20:00.910 --> 20:01.570 That's LaRue. 20:01.711 --> 20:02.491 Sand of the 80s. 20:02.731 --> 20:03.752 I'm not your toy. 20:03.772 --> 20:06.273 Do you think if that was released in the 80s it would chart? 20:06.533 --> 20:09.915 Do you think if that was released in, like when were Yazoo number one with only you? 20:09.975 --> 20:11.276 Was that 82 or something? 20:11.296 --> 20:11.917 81, 82, yeah. 20:11.957 --> 20:16.159 Do you think if LaRue was up against Yazoo LaRue, she would win it? 20:16.179 --> 20:17.860 That's a very, very good question. 20:17.900 --> 20:27.186 Or do you think she would be, you know, completely overwhelmed by the purity and, you know, genuine novelty of 80s, uh, plink-plonk music? 20:27.927 --> 20:30.330 Uh, certainly it's quite a more complicated sound. 20:30.350 --> 20:30.830 Yes or no? 20:30.850 --> 20:31.912 More complex sound. 20:31.932 --> 20:33.313 Yes or no? 20:34.115 --> 20:34.695 Answer me! 20:34.976 --> 20:35.416 Yes. 20:36.197 --> 20:36.478 Yes. 20:36.718 --> 20:37.339 She would what? 20:37.399 --> 20:37.619 What? 20:37.659 --> 20:38.060 Yes or no? 20:38.080 --> 20:39.702 It wasn't really a yes or no question. 20:39.722 --> 20:40.523 I don't know. 20:40.563 --> 20:41.364 I don't know. 20:43.319 --> 20:44.480 You're feeling very weak. 20:44.500 --> 20:45.501 Poor old man. 20:45.601 --> 20:47.843 I've got a cold run out of medicated tissues. 20:47.863 --> 20:49.204 Count Buckiles is under the weather. 20:49.244 --> 20:51.666 I just got like a small pack of medicated tissues. 20:51.686 --> 20:52.447 You know what, Count Buckiles? 20:52.467 --> 20:53.127 I should have got a big one. 20:53.247 --> 20:55.629 You do a brilliant cold and flu advert. 20:55.970 --> 20:56.170 Yeah. 20:56.430 --> 20:59.252 In your cape, like Count Dracula, but your Count Buckiles. 20:59.332 --> 20:59.633 Right. 20:59.973 --> 21:00.854 And you've got a cold. 21:01.394 --> 21:01.634 Uh-huh. 21:01.915 --> 21:03.336 And I keep sneezing on my victims. 21:03.436 --> 21:04.197 Yes, exactly. 21:04.677 --> 21:06.478 And they're going, oh, that's disgusting. 21:07.059 --> 21:09.001 I'm going to drink out of it. 21:09.021 --> 21:09.761 Excuse me. 21:10.882 --> 21:14.763 People love vampires in cold and flu adverts. 21:14.863 --> 21:17.084 And then you take the remedy and it's fine. 21:17.584 --> 21:20.185 And then you suck a lady's blood out of her neck. 21:21.425 --> 21:23.606 You know, I just thought of a revolting spin on it. 21:24.126 --> 21:28.147 You could have a vampire that sucks snot out of people's noses. 21:28.447 --> 21:30.167 You know that you have to do for babies, right? 21:30.188 --> 21:30.848 That's revolting. 21:30.908 --> 21:32.048 Well, hang on a second. 21:32.068 --> 21:33.248 Well, you've discussed this before. 21:33.268 --> 21:34.729 You don't have to suck. 21:35.469 --> 21:36.129 What do you do then? 21:36.189 --> 21:38.190 How do you get snot out of a baby's nose? 21:38.230 --> 21:38.971 Is that what you do? 21:39.011 --> 21:39.231 Yes. 21:39.651 --> 21:40.972 What, you put your mouth over it? 21:41.052 --> 21:43.513 In the olden days you would just put your mouth over it and suck it. 21:43.533 --> 21:44.554 You've done it. 21:44.634 --> 21:45.814 Now they've got tubes. 21:45.854 --> 21:48.316 They've got tubes kind of like bongs. 21:48.456 --> 21:50.016 I don't know if you've ever come across a bong. 21:50.237 --> 21:51.117 It's easy. 21:51.157 --> 21:52.258 Do you not know how to do that? 21:53.078 --> 21:54.139 You just blow up the bottom. 21:55.579 --> 21:56.800 The baby's bottom. 21:56.860 --> 21:58.541 And it fires out. 21:58.561 --> 21:59.401 Don't do that. 21:59.641 --> 22:03.363 Listen, there might be some really thick parents listening and they try it. 22:03.383 --> 22:05.324 Come on, there aren't any thick parents in Britain. 22:05.364 --> 22:06.845 No, that's true, especially not listening to this show. 22:07.445 --> 22:12.668 But no, you don't obviously blow up the baby's bottom, but you do have to suck out the snot somehow, sometimes. 22:12.688 --> 22:17.511 But you can get special tubes, medicated tubes that kind of convey the snot to a centrifugal. 22:17.531 --> 22:17.991 What can I say? 22:18.051 --> 22:20.052 Otherwise that would explain your illnesses. 22:20.672 --> 22:23.313 Yeah, a non-stop diet of baby snot. 22:23.813 --> 22:24.894 That's a charming thought, isn't it? 22:25.194 --> 22:28.835 But I was thinking, like, we got into this because the vampire could maybe do something similar. 22:28.855 --> 22:30.276 Yes, that's a good idea. 22:30.296 --> 22:31.056 That's a good idea. 22:31.076 --> 22:32.337 We'll jot that down on the ideas list. 22:33.157 --> 22:33.937 It is a very good idea. 22:33.957 --> 22:35.378 Pop it in the idea bank. 22:36.158 --> 22:36.478 What now? 22:36.498 --> 22:39.079 I said, boggins? 22:39.940 --> 22:44.221 Oh, boggins, the Adam and Jo dogs come, bounding into the studio, full of vim and vigour. 22:44.862 --> 22:45.402 Here, boggins. 22:46.389 --> 22:47.050 Oh, Boggins. 22:47.210 --> 22:48.531 It's all right if I lick your face. 22:49.231 --> 22:51.833 I don't understand what Boggins is saying because he's a dog. 22:52.193 --> 22:59.719 He's, of course, he makes, he says, I don't know why I've gone Australian, but he says things that sound a little bit like human speech, but you really can't understand it. 22:59.739 --> 23:01.039 He's going to say something again. 23:01.580 --> 23:02.000 Sausage it. 23:02.020 --> 23:04.262 Sausage it. 23:04.322 --> 23:05.383 I bought some sausages. 23:05.403 --> 23:06.223 I don't know what he's saying. 23:06.243 --> 23:06.984 I've eaten a rat. 23:07.204 --> 23:07.824 He's lost it. 23:08.104 --> 23:08.725 I found a bird. 23:08.965 --> 23:11.106 Say something that sounds like words, Boggins. 23:11.426 --> 23:13.687 I ate a bird and then I rolled in poo. 23:15.127 --> 23:15.687 I'm sweet. 23:16.468 --> 23:17.028 No, nothing. 23:17.488 --> 23:19.048 So, Boggins is a little bit stinky. 23:19.269 --> 23:21.149 I ate a bird, can I lick your face? 23:21.169 --> 23:22.170 I wonder if that's mud. 23:22.810 --> 23:24.870 Pat me, I love you, I'm gonna bite your legs. 23:24.971 --> 23:27.451 A shame you can't talk, otherwise you could tell us whether it was mud. 23:27.511 --> 23:28.372 Is that mud, Boggins? 23:29.332 --> 23:30.332 Part mud, part poo. 23:30.352 --> 23:31.373 Just sniff a bit of it. 23:32.813 --> 23:33.374 Oh dear. 23:33.434 --> 23:34.995 It's been on there for a while. 23:35.315 --> 23:37.336 Can I lick your face and legs? 23:37.376 --> 23:38.636 I'm gonna bite your hand. 23:39.637 --> 23:39.777 Ow! 23:40.357 --> 23:43.059 So it's just playful, being playful. 23:43.299 --> 23:43.919 Just playing. 23:43.939 --> 23:44.780 Alright, come on boggins out. 23:44.880 --> 23:45.260 Okay. 23:45.500 --> 23:46.081 Out boggins. 23:46.121 --> 23:47.561 Have you got a... Get out! 23:48.042 --> 23:48.582 Out boggins! 23:52.927 --> 23:53.428 Prefab. 23:53.468 --> 23:53.908 Prefab. 23:54.649 --> 23:55.269 Prefab sprout. 23:55.369 --> 23:56.530 Have you got prefab sprout? 23:57.410 --> 23:57.911 Oh, boggins. 23:59.392 --> 23:59.992 Is that all right? 24:00.692 --> 24:01.293 Do you mind that? 24:01.873 --> 24:02.794 Do you like that? 24:03.034 --> 24:03.374 Boggins. 24:03.854 --> 24:04.095 Go on. 24:04.135 --> 24:05.896 Here's some prefab sprout. 24:06.136 --> 24:07.317 Here's some prefab sprout. 24:07.337 --> 24:09.038 I was at Kinks with Victoria. 24:09.078 --> 24:11.139 This is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music. 24:11.419 --> 24:14.341 Count Buckhilly's listeners has quite a bad cold today. 24:14.361 --> 24:15.362 How are you feeling? 24:16.463 --> 24:17.203 I feel okay. 24:17.223 --> 24:18.144 Like I'm over the worst. 24:18.164 --> 24:19.585 I'm over the aches and pains, right? 24:20.265 --> 24:23.269 But now I'm just in the snotty phase. 24:23.709 --> 24:24.590 Snotty phase. 24:24.791 --> 24:26.052 Snotty phase and coughing as well. 24:26.072 --> 24:27.834 Someone's gone out for some special tissues. 24:28.094 --> 24:30.317 Yeah, because I only got a small pack of medicated tissues. 24:30.357 --> 24:31.498 I want a big pack. 24:32.540 --> 24:34.282 Listen, I was in HMV this week. 24:35.223 --> 24:38.767 The popular High Street music store, other High Street music stores are available. 24:38.847 --> 24:39.368 But not for long. 24:39.688 --> 24:41.969 And they just, what do you think it's going to close? 24:41.989 --> 24:42.489 It's all going to close. 24:42.509 --> 24:43.249 It's all going to close. 24:43.809 --> 24:49.231 Well, in an attempt to keep it open, they had shipped in hundreds of new Beatles box sets. 24:49.671 --> 24:50.072 Oh, nice. 24:50.112 --> 24:51.452 Yeah, they came in during the week. 24:51.872 --> 24:57.254 And what they tend to do on Oxford Street in HMV is they pile them up just inside the doors. 24:57.954 --> 25:00.195 So you get this sort of weird cluster. 25:00.275 --> 25:02.756 I think I might have walked past the morning they were released. 25:03.336 --> 25:08.878 And you get a weird kind of cluster of hardcore Beatles fans, older gentlemen. 25:09.398 --> 25:16.464 all gathering round the Beatles box set, sort of picking them up, touching them, turning them around, examining them, deciding whether they can afford them. 25:16.705 --> 25:17.225 Exactly. 25:17.585 --> 25:20.888 Similar thing happened when they bought out the massive Neil Young box. 25:21.148 --> 25:21.449 Yes. 25:21.529 --> 25:25.092 Well, lots of Neil Young people came out of the woodwork and yeah, they were sniffing around. 25:25.192 --> 25:25.672 Sure they were. 25:25.692 --> 25:27.454 A lot of people just lived inside them for a while. 25:28.455 --> 25:32.900 But the Beatles have basically seized the Zeitgeist last week, didn't they? 25:33.481 --> 25:39.148 BBC put lots of Beatles programmes out and they tried to get us all to pay attention to the release of their box set. 25:39.649 --> 25:44.274 And I was watching one of the shopping channels, they were selling them on the shopping channels as well. 25:44.835 --> 25:50.218 And there was a woman really going hell for leather about how essential these purchases were, you know? 25:50.238 --> 25:54.461 Because what is it, the first time they've been digitally remastered or something? 25:54.501 --> 25:55.461 It can't be the first time. 25:55.701 --> 25:56.061 What is it? 25:56.122 --> 25:57.202 What's new about them? 25:57.402 --> 25:57.983 I think so. 25:58.043 --> 26:03.586 Apparently, it's the first time that they have gone back and cleaned up the masters. 26:03.726 --> 26:12.591 So they've got rid of all, you know, a few little glitches here and there, and they've basically done a whole new pristine digital reprogramming job on them. 26:12.711 --> 26:26.887 Well, she spends about 20 minutes convincing me that I need to buy the remastered Beatles box set, and then she does a switcheroo that camera pans to the right, and she's got specially new released mono versions of all the albums as well, and she's going now. 26:27.828 --> 26:32.189 If you've already got them digitally remastered, you will be amazed by the quality. 26:32.349 --> 26:35.230 But of course, it's not how they were originally intended to be heard. 26:35.950 --> 26:43.012 These are the original mono recordings exactly as Lennon and McCartney intended you to hear them. 26:43.432 --> 26:46.173 So she does another 20 minutes about having to have the mono ones. 26:46.253 --> 26:48.294 Also, it's not how they intended you to hear them. 26:48.314 --> 26:49.254 That's what she said. 26:49.314 --> 26:49.554 Right. 26:50.194 --> 26:53.397 It's just how they happened to come out with the technology that was available at the time. 26:53.437 --> 26:54.278 I'm confused. 26:54.358 --> 26:56.539 I'm not going to buy either, but I don't know which one to buy. 26:56.559 --> 27:03.525 I don't know if I would be... I don't really care about buying the new remastered ones, I must say, because I've got them. 27:03.545 --> 27:07.889 And then I've read lots of articles about, oh, the base range is much more impressive now. 27:07.949 --> 27:15.975 And they fixed the dropout on, she said, she said in the, you know, two minutes 58 or whatever it was. 27:16.836 --> 27:17.817 I don't think that's true. 27:18.337 --> 27:22.180 That would be a lot of Beatles fans going, there's no dropout at 2 minutes 58, and she said, she said. 27:22.680 --> 27:24.301 But you know that kind of thing, I'm not fussed. 27:24.822 --> 27:31.827 I got used to the versions that came out when, you know, they came out originally and the ones I bought on CD the first time around when they were available. 27:31.867 --> 27:33.408 It's confusing, isn't it? 27:33.448 --> 27:39.172 Because if it was a film, you kind of want the sound to be remastered, but you don't really want the picture to be messed with. 27:39.292 --> 27:42.733 Did you ever have a... You want it as clear as possible, but you don't want it retouched. 27:42.953 --> 27:43.133 No. 27:43.273 --> 27:44.653 Or added to or anything, do you? 27:44.673 --> 27:48.014 Yeah, but the movies are way ahead of the record business in that respect. 27:48.194 --> 27:50.374 I mean, directors have been messing with their work for years. 27:50.934 --> 27:51.555 They led the way. 27:51.815 --> 27:52.475 They really did. 27:52.495 --> 27:54.915 And you think it's only just beginning with the music industry. 27:54.935 --> 28:03.157 Well, if you imagine the level of fiddling that, say, Steven Spielberg did with E.T., if you applied that to an album like High Level Fiddling... 28:03.277 --> 28:03.738 You know what I mean? 28:03.758 --> 28:08.462 Like if someone like Bowie went back and started doing that level of fiddling on any one of his classic 70s albums. 28:08.482 --> 28:09.423 Does anyone ever done that? 28:09.443 --> 28:10.284 Tweaking lyrics. 28:10.424 --> 28:10.704 Yeah. 28:10.904 --> 28:12.106 Adding a little solo here. 28:12.226 --> 28:13.427 That would be outrageous. 28:13.667 --> 28:14.728 Does anyone ever done that? 28:14.828 --> 28:16.430 No, because it would be pointless. 28:16.450 --> 28:17.491 I think we should do it for Song Wars. 28:17.591 --> 28:17.971 You reckon? 28:18.152 --> 28:19.893 Yeah, I think we should remaster some tracks. 28:20.013 --> 28:21.535 Isn't that a good idea for Song Wars? 28:21.755 --> 28:22.296 Yeah, I guess. 28:22.396 --> 28:24.177 We could take the original and add to it. 28:24.197 --> 28:24.618 Uh-huh. 28:25.138 --> 28:25.399 Yeah? 28:25.599 --> 28:26.580 Alright, let's do that next. 28:27.000 --> 28:39.506 Okay, but we're gonna what we did do for this week's song wars In about 10 minutes or so here on BBC six music, but before that here's Empire of the Sun mate. 28:39.646 --> 28:41.447 Oh great You know what? 28:41.487 --> 28:45.688 I love this one because he just gets like it's on a grove, right? 28:45.748 --> 28:46.309 Absolutely. 28:46.349 --> 28:55.913 It gets on a groove and he just yep serves the grooves I love surfing don't you this is called walking on a dream and that's what it's about, right? 28:56.053 --> 28:59.075 It's about what happens when you walk on a dream. 28:59.876 --> 29:01.457 So you're having a dream, right? 29:01.497 --> 29:02.338 Terribly fragile. 29:02.738 --> 29:05.320 And you have the dream and you're asleep. 29:05.360 --> 29:06.000 You're having a dream. 29:06.040 --> 29:07.541 You can't have a waking dream. 29:07.581 --> 29:09.963 There has to be when you're asleep. 29:10.423 --> 29:13.065 And then you start walking on it. 29:13.206 --> 29:13.926 And it's nice. 29:13.966 --> 29:16.248 It feels nice because it's a nice soft dream. 29:16.588 --> 29:17.969 But then what if it's a night? 29:19.009 --> 29:19.509 Oh, mate. 29:19.569 --> 29:21.250 And you fall through the dream. 29:21.310 --> 29:22.030 What a nightmare. 29:22.050 --> 29:25.792 Your foot gets stuck in the dream and you can't carry on walking. 29:25.832 --> 29:27.693 You trip over on the dream. 29:27.713 --> 29:30.434 You hurt your elbow on maybe the corner of the dream. 29:30.494 --> 29:31.594 I'd have to sue the dream. 29:31.914 --> 29:32.555 Exactly. 29:32.655 --> 29:34.755 Have you been injured in a dream? 29:35.015 --> 29:38.417 Have you tripped or fallen in a dream while you were walking? 29:39.177 --> 30:03.030 contact who who do I contact you contact the people that done that song Empire of the Sun contact Empire of the Sun their dream lawyers yes they tell me mate yes they deal with all the litigation no it's not a joke I'm trying to mess with my mind I'm not trying to mess with your mind mate it's not a joke 30:03.450 --> 30:04.711 Don't understand lies, I'm very gullible. 30:04.771 --> 30:06.451 It was about walking on dreams. 30:06.551 --> 30:07.712 Will you listen to me? 30:07.772 --> 30:08.972 I'm trying to explain. 30:08.992 --> 30:11.813 It's about they deal with dreams. 30:12.434 --> 30:17.716 Walking on them, they deal with dream litigation, and they dream construction. 30:18.556 --> 30:22.839 You know, they've got to be properly built otherwise you can't walk on it. 30:22.879 --> 30:23.879 I'm exhausted now. 30:23.919 --> 30:25.240 You've exhausted me, mate. 30:25.340 --> 30:28.222 Get your surfboard and go do a bit of surfing. 30:28.242 --> 30:28.442 I will. 30:28.462 --> 30:29.583 Because you are really wound up. 30:29.603 --> 30:31.324 I'm totally racked up now. 30:31.804 --> 30:33.726 You've ratcheted me right up in there. 30:33.786 --> 30:34.606 Go and surf, mate. 30:34.666 --> 30:36.507 It's the only thing that will cure it. 30:36.828 --> 30:37.148 Yeah. 30:37.728 --> 30:39.189 Meanwhile, what are you gonna do? 30:39.209 --> 30:57.184 I'm gonna um That was obviously a cue for you to say meanwhile, I'm gonna launch text the nation Yeah, but I'm not the one who made up the subject so I can't I didn't make it let's just do the jingle What if I don't want to but amusing email is that a problem 31:04.875 --> 31:09.719 Yes, listeners, it's Text the Nation time here on the Adam and Jo radio show on BBC6 Music. 31:09.739 --> 31:14.102 This is the part of the show where we give you a theme, a talk topic. 31:14.203 --> 31:14.363 Yeah. 31:14.863 --> 31:15.784 Yeah, a chat point. 31:16.444 --> 31:21.408 And you contribute your opinions and reactions via our text number, which is 64046. 31:23.710 --> 31:24.050 Correct. 31:24.370 --> 31:42.838 Yeah, or you could email us if you're listening to this show during the week as well Then you have to email us you can't text us and the email is Adam and Joe dot six music at BBC dot co dot UK now we're gonna keep the Explanation or the setup for text donation this week very brief right? 31:42.858 --> 31:47.760 This is gonna be the briefest of all the setups names for body parts 31:48.860 --> 31:49.060 Right? 31:49.301 --> 31:49.661 Like it. 31:49.901 --> 31:51.262 Pet names for body parts. 31:52.282 --> 31:54.743 What do you mean you might give them a name like a person? 31:55.403 --> 31:56.004 Like Alfred? 31:56.764 --> 31:57.605 Or John Thomas? 31:57.865 --> 31:58.505 Maybe you might. 31:59.005 --> 32:02.187 Yeah, I mean the obvious place to start is in the groinal zone, right? 32:02.507 --> 32:04.708 And that's by no means where we should remain. 32:04.748 --> 32:06.109 I would like to make it perfectly clear. 32:06.129 --> 32:12.912 In fact, we would like you, if you can, to tell us about the other names for the other body parts that you have. 32:13.412 --> 32:16.373 Don't just stay in the... Underwear area. 32:16.494 --> 32:17.354 In the Congo there. 32:17.674 --> 32:18.234 underwear. 32:18.694 --> 32:18.934 Yeah. 32:20.115 --> 32:20.895 Because that's no good. 32:20.955 --> 32:23.076 But while we are in that area... In the Congo. 32:23.616 --> 32:24.936 Yeah. 32:25.196 --> 32:26.337 Isn't it shaped that way? 32:27.117 --> 32:27.697 The Congo. 32:28.077 --> 32:30.418 I don't know what I'm talking about. 32:30.638 --> 32:38.920 So, like for example, with children especially, you know, when you're a little chap, your mum refers to your little chap. 32:39.760 --> 32:41.341 It gives it a special name, right? 32:42.541 --> 32:42.681 Mm-hmm. 32:43.022 --> 32:43.742 Why are you looking white? 32:43.762 --> 32:45.162 I'm just trying to think. 32:45.322 --> 32:46.023 What was your one? 32:46.243 --> 32:46.723 I don't know. 32:46.763 --> 32:47.443 I'm trying to think. 32:47.643 --> 32:49.624 Well, my mum is from Chile, right? 32:50.144 --> 32:52.565 So she used a Spanish word, birulo. 32:52.585 --> 32:52.725 Right. 32:53.346 --> 32:54.526 What does that mean? 32:54.606 --> 32:58.388 Well, the actual literal translation happens to be knob. 32:59.468 --> 33:01.989 But it's like, you know, for a button or a dial. 33:02.149 --> 33:03.030 Yeah, that kind of thing. 33:03.110 --> 33:05.851 But she applied it across the language barrier. 33:09.513 --> 33:12.035 Yeah, in a sort of endearing way. 33:13.756 --> 33:23.583 And I think that was the only one that... Extraordinary inhalation of breath. 33:25.164 --> 33:26.165 Having a breakdown. 33:28.267 --> 33:31.589 It's because that's all that comes. 33:35.832 --> 33:37.894 That's all there is for text summation! 33:38.134 --> 33:39.355 Just that one word! 33:40.656 --> 33:42.617 Say it again? 33:42.877 --> 33:49.722 P-I-R-U-L-O Well, having encouraged people to stay out of the Congo... 33:50.983 --> 33:54.566 Your one example is very Congo Central. 33:55.386 --> 33:56.267 Say it again. 33:56.787 --> 33:57.288 Birula. 33:57.528 --> 33:58.108 Birula. 33:58.709 --> 33:59.389 That's nice. 33:59.449 --> 34:03.592 You're hoping that other people will have little pet names, areas of their body. 34:03.612 --> 34:11.458 The Congo area is a place where you need to have non-rude names, so I think that people are more likely to have 34:11.718 --> 34:14.342 made up names for, you know, dangerous areas. 34:14.362 --> 34:17.067 I guess I'm thinking Congo because it's sort of dark and jungly, right? 34:17.127 --> 34:22.335 Does anyone like name their hands or their arms or their legs or their neebles? 34:22.355 --> 34:24.458 Well, now you put it like that. 34:24.879 --> 34:25.480 What, neebles? 34:25.880 --> 34:26.301 Neebles! 34:27.182 --> 34:28.063 It's like weebles. 34:28.223 --> 34:29.123 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 34:30.064 --> 34:30.524 Tootsies. 34:31.065 --> 34:31.925 You're Tootsie. 34:31.945 --> 34:32.225 Tootsies. 34:32.325 --> 34:33.206 Of course. 34:33.346 --> 34:34.107 Now we're back. 34:34.127 --> 34:34.947 Now we're running. 34:34.967 --> 34:35.247 True. 34:35.387 --> 34:36.268 Come on. 34:36.788 --> 34:37.769 Now we're back on track. 34:37.789 --> 34:38.489 Come on. 34:38.790 --> 34:39.530 With Tootsie. 34:39.550 --> 34:41.691 It's going to be Sony nomination time again soon. 34:41.711 --> 34:43.693 It's going to be good. 34:45.974 --> 34:51.075 Text in your alternative names for your body parts. 34:51.455 --> 34:52.115 This is good, man. 34:52.155 --> 34:53.875 This is going to really come around. 34:53.995 --> 34:56.256 We've got our doubts about this, but give it a hand. 34:56.276 --> 34:58.056 Here's how it might work, right? 34:58.076 --> 35:00.937 Just to travel you into the future a little bit. 35:03.177 --> 35:11.999 Dan in Clapham says that he calls his elbow... Garvey. 35:12.039 --> 35:12.559 Guy Garvey. 35:14.759 --> 35:16.580 That's an example of a good one we might get in. 35:16.620 --> 35:16.820 Yeah. 35:17.161 --> 35:18.522 But you made that one up, obviously. 35:18.562 --> 35:19.762 I haven't had much time to think. 35:19.822 --> 35:20.023 No. 35:20.323 --> 35:21.944 Listeners have got lots of time to think. 35:22.604 --> 35:22.985 Exactly. 35:23.445 --> 35:24.085 So there we go. 35:24.145 --> 35:31.530 Give your ideas to us in texts via 64046 or the email adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 35:31.810 --> 35:33.452 We're going to do song wars very soon. 35:33.532 --> 35:33.732 Yeah. 35:34.012 --> 35:34.192 Right? 35:34.212 --> 35:34.893 That's proper comedy. 35:34.913 --> 35:36.113 This is a feature that we've worked out. 35:36.133 --> 35:36.714 It's all pre-prepared. 35:36.734 --> 35:37.234 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 35:37.334 --> 35:38.075 It's all going to be fine. 35:38.095 --> 35:41.677 That's why everything else is so ropey, because all the energy's gone into the wars. 35:41.757 --> 35:42.197 Exactly. 35:42.538 --> 35:44.019 Here's Blur with Girls and Boys. 35:45.382 --> 35:49.178 It's time for song wars, the war of the songs 35:59.733 --> 36:02.355 Do the listener test, so check it out. 36:02.555 --> 36:04.336 I mean, that's like a LaRue song right there. 36:04.436 --> 36:05.097 It is, isn't it? 36:05.117 --> 36:05.917 Yeah. 36:05.977 --> 36:07.919 It's too rich, though, for it to be LaRue. 36:07.959 --> 36:11.181 If she was doing her harmonies on there, that could be her next single. 36:11.281 --> 36:11.941 That's true. 36:12.081 --> 36:15.644 And it's just the jingle for this segment, which is called Song Wars. 36:15.764 --> 36:16.804 Pretty self-explanatory. 36:16.845 --> 36:19.867 Joe and I have composed songs on a theme. 36:19.907 --> 36:22.208 We've made the songs ourselves, such as they are. 36:22.869 --> 36:24.890 And we're going to flip a coin now to see which one goes first. 36:24.930 --> 36:27.892 But Joe, tell the listeners once again what the theme was this week. 36:28.072 --> 36:29.433 The theme was bath time. 36:30.093 --> 36:31.793 We had a listener suggest it, didn't we? 36:31.874 --> 36:36.255 James, the producer, are you totally on your toes ready with the name of that listener? 36:36.335 --> 36:36.515 No. 36:36.856 --> 36:38.116 We're all a bit sluggish this week. 36:38.216 --> 36:39.697 Sorry about that. 36:39.777 --> 36:41.117 He was name-checked last week. 36:41.157 --> 36:42.138 I think it was a gentleman. 36:42.298 --> 36:42.518 Yeah. 36:42.658 --> 36:47.520 But he wanted a song for his bath time periods to make it nice for him to go to the bath. 36:48.500 --> 36:49.621 Um, so is that what you've done? 36:50.141 --> 36:54.844 Well, I mean, he could listen to this song conceivably that I've done while he's in the bath. 36:54.864 --> 36:56.446 But your song's about bath time. 36:56.726 --> 37:01.289 Yeah, yeah, it is about... Well, my song specifically is about cleaning up a dirty girl. 37:02.069 --> 37:02.430 It is? 37:02.710 --> 37:02.910 Yeah. 37:03.430 --> 37:04.491 That sounds good. 37:04.811 --> 37:05.031 You know? 37:05.051 --> 37:06.752 Um, what's yours about? 37:07.193 --> 37:12.056 Well, mine is a kind of, um, song about David Bowie having a bath. 37:12.236 --> 37:12.796 Is it? 37:12.857 --> 37:13.117 Yeah. 37:13.317 --> 37:14.438 I was thinking about doing that. 37:14.478 --> 37:16.859 Well, not only were you thinking about it, but... I mentioned it on air. 37:16.879 --> 37:17.860 It was suggested, yeah. 37:18.240 --> 37:18.600 So why? 37:18.680 --> 37:20.780 So I think part of my brain thought that that was the task. 37:20.841 --> 37:21.901 That was stuff in my head. 37:21.921 --> 37:22.201 Oh, I see. 37:22.621 --> 37:23.581 Bowie having a bath. 37:24.281 --> 37:25.261 So, yeah. 37:25.421 --> 37:26.542 Bowie bath. 37:26.822 --> 37:27.342 Good one. 37:27.522 --> 37:29.922 Well, we're going to flip a coin right now and see who goes first. 37:30.522 --> 37:32.823 It was Rufus Blacklock was the gentleman's name. 37:32.903 --> 37:33.083 Oh, yeah. 37:33.103 --> 37:33.243 Oh, yeah. 37:33.303 --> 37:35.223 James, he was the guy that came up with this theme. 37:35.243 --> 37:35.883 Thanks a lot, Rufus. 37:35.903 --> 37:36.843 It was a good theme, I thought. 37:37.264 --> 37:37.824 Yeah, good theme. 37:37.944 --> 37:38.104 Yeah. 37:38.124 --> 37:38.664 Well done, Rufus. 37:38.824 --> 37:39.164 Well done. 37:40.044 --> 37:40.804 So call it. 37:41.024 --> 37:42.645 What are you... I'll go for heads. 37:42.705 --> 37:44.185 If it's heads, I'll play mine first. 37:44.325 --> 37:45.085 Heads to go first. 37:45.265 --> 37:47.328 I kind of want to go first just to get it over with. 37:47.608 --> 37:49.470 It is Tails. 37:49.671 --> 37:50.252 Tails. 37:50.332 --> 37:51.794 Not looking good for the cornballs. 37:52.054 --> 37:53.275 So cornballs go second. 37:53.316 --> 37:54.137 Yeah, you go first. 37:54.477 --> 37:55.438 Here is my song. 37:56.099 --> 37:59.564 I won't introduce it any more than to say it's called Special Bath. 38:08.584 --> 38:22.137 I love your mucky mind But your body's all so filthy Which I weren't so pleased to find yourself fit But what's up with your personal hygiene That's why you haven't had a boyfriend since you were 13 years old 38:22.557 --> 38:38.602 You have the matted hair of an Australian backpacker And in your pants last night I found some cheese and a cracker You say you don't like bathing cause you're frightened of the water But it's getting crazy girl, you know I really think you want to come 39:22.113 --> 39:45.878 I'll take the foreign end, cause I'm your special bar friend Come round to my place tonight, we'll have a special bar I want you looking like Jamelia, don't worry my bra There we are, you see it's not so bad is it? 39:46.038 --> 39:50.439 It's nice, there's just a couple of rules you need to know before we go on 40:49.372 --> 40:50.593 Oh, what happened at the end there? 40:50.713 --> 40:53.115 There's the water coming out of the plug. 40:53.255 --> 40:54.176 That's extraordinary. 40:54.296 --> 40:56.838 I'm very jealous of your vocoder technology there. 40:56.858 --> 40:57.879 It's not vocoder, mate. 40:57.939 --> 40:59.160 What have you got going on there? 40:59.341 --> 41:01.803 It's a pitch, what's it called? 41:01.823 --> 41:02.363 Pitch shift. 41:02.443 --> 41:03.184 Magic tuning. 41:03.644 --> 41:03.964 What is it? 41:04.044 --> 41:05.185 Is that a bit of software? 41:05.366 --> 41:11.951 You just, on GarageBand, you just go into the tuning and you can shift the 41:13.152 --> 41:15.273 Yeah, you have a pitch. 41:15.313 --> 41:20.114 But you're auto-tuning separate segments of the same phrase that you've sung. 41:20.174 --> 41:20.474 No, no, no. 41:20.494 --> 41:23.395 You just apply auto-tune to the vocal track. 41:23.975 --> 41:24.316 No. 41:24.836 --> 41:25.336 Simple as that. 41:25.456 --> 41:25.896 Do that! 41:25.916 --> 41:30.778 I mean, that's another one we could do because a lot of R&B has that sound on it now. 41:30.838 --> 41:31.458 Everyone has it. 41:31.518 --> 41:33.418 Kanye did a whole album with that, didn't he? 41:33.499 --> 41:34.359 Yeah, loads of it. 41:34.399 --> 41:34.999 Everyone does that. 41:35.139 --> 41:36.940 So I thought that way past it. 41:36.960 --> 41:37.460 Well done. 41:37.580 --> 41:37.980 Thanks very much. 41:38.380 --> 41:38.961 I think that's good. 41:39.001 --> 41:40.562 I think you might have blown mine out of the water. 41:40.582 --> 41:41.263 A bit of two-step. 41:41.343 --> 41:42.084 Production-wise. 41:42.144 --> 41:42.584 You reckon? 41:42.825 --> 41:44.386 Yeah, mine's much more pedestrian. 41:44.967 --> 41:46.068 Uh, we'd better get it out of the way. 41:46.108 --> 41:51.433 This is just a song, uh, this is actually the song that Bowie sings when he's having a bath. 41:51.593 --> 41:51.893 Is it? 41:52.054 --> 41:52.334 Yeah. 41:52.574 --> 41:54.156 I mean, I know that sounds like a lie. 41:54.276 --> 41:55.517 So this is Bowie in the bath. 41:55.597 --> 41:56.178 But it's not. 41:56.558 --> 41:58.240 This is the song he sings when he's having a bath. 41:58.260 --> 41:58.860 What's it called, this song? 41:59.200 --> 42:00.902 It's called Bathtime for Bowie, of course. 42:01.122 --> 42:01.643 Yeah, here it is. 42:11.220 --> 42:26.936 Brushed off my feet I deserve a special treat I know a place I can be alone A private palace of enamel and chrome A sacred space where depths are spun And man and water live as one Of scented oils and shampoo A place that's just beside the loo 42:48.203 --> 42:59.350 If you want to take a bath, then please take my advice Be sure you don't drop off to sleep, cause it's so warm and nice Don't sit there staring into space, just fiddling with your wings 43:15.129 --> 43:39.951 Getting gradually more stinky Splish splosh I'm polishing up my glass spider Splosh splish I'm soaking my serious moon Splosh splish It's time to get out of the bathtub 43:45.011 --> 43:47.285 My fingers are starting to prune 43:48.848 --> 43:49.268 There we go. 43:49.288 --> 43:51.369 That's Song Wars for this week, listeners. 43:51.409 --> 43:52.209 What's your one called? 43:52.229 --> 43:53.330 A special bath. 43:53.670 --> 43:56.491 It's special bath versus bath time for Bowie. 43:57.231 --> 43:58.792 And you email your vote, I think. 43:58.952 --> 44:02.113 Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 44:02.593 --> 44:04.714 It's only email votes, isn't it now, James? 44:05.114 --> 44:12.177 So if you're listening via Listen Again or the podcast, you can vote as well and we'll announce the winner on next week's show. 44:12.197 --> 44:15.358 You had some good pet names for parts there, Serious Moon. 44:15.678 --> 44:18.679 Well, there's a lot to choose from when it comes to Bowie. 44:18.739 --> 44:19.839 It's glass spider. 44:19.879 --> 44:22.419 I was trying to reign that kind of lazy innuendo in. 44:22.720 --> 44:23.020 What?! 44:26.160 --> 44:27.060 Unsuccessfully. 44:27.080 --> 44:28.681 You think you're working on News Night or something? 44:30.081 --> 44:32.722 This is BBC Six Music and it's the Adam and Jo programme. 44:32.762 --> 44:33.982 Here's some music for you now, listeners. 44:34.002 --> 44:36.402 This is Mumford and Sons with Little Lion Man. 44:36.643 --> 44:37.463 He said a bad word. 44:37.503 --> 44:38.403 He dead said a bad word. 44:38.663 --> 44:40.223 And he didn't do a radio version of it. 44:40.303 --> 44:41.304 I think they should, you know. 44:41.484 --> 44:42.644 I think, like, in Crete. 44:42.684 --> 44:43.464 To say a nicer one. 44:43.604 --> 44:47.248 Yeah, in creep, they substitute the F-bomb for, what is it? 44:47.268 --> 44:53.574 He says, you're so very special, instead of saying the F-word. 44:53.694 --> 44:56.537 You think they should put a non-scary word in? 44:56.557 --> 44:58.218 I think it's just politeness to do so. 44:58.278 --> 44:59.560 You can't just leave it blank. 45:00.140 --> 45:01.880 You know, I mean, that's just ridiculous. 45:01.901 --> 45:04.301 People might imagine a worse word if you leave it blank. 45:04.361 --> 45:05.461 Exactly. 45:06.742 --> 45:08.182 What's worse than the F-bomb? 45:08.462 --> 45:11.223 I'll tell you during the next record. 45:11.283 --> 45:23.646 We were just speculating as well about the fact that if you go on our blog, you will see an amazing compilation that someone has done of all the moments that where we talk about Bowie, because we are relatively Bowie obsessed, I suppose. 45:24.087 --> 45:28.168 Although I suppose we, you know, like we're not like the maddest Bowie fans in the world. 45:28.188 --> 45:29.188 We're not mental. 45:29.508 --> 45:29.708 Right. 45:29.868 --> 45:30.869 We just really like him. 45:31.910 --> 45:39.116 And the thing is that we would genuinely love to meet the guy and we've gone on about it on this show for sort of comedic. 45:39.136 --> 45:51.347 But someone's gone back through the archives and taken all the bits of us ranting nonsense about Bowie and put them together into one kind of YouTube thing and James has put that on our blog which is at bbc.co.uk forward slash blogs forward slash 45:51.907 --> 45:57.750 Adam and Joe and it's completely insane and he'd be insane to come anywhere near us. 45:57.810 --> 46:01.472 If he heard it I mean he would he would immediately apply for a restraining order. 46:01.672 --> 46:06.315 Not to say that the work that the person has done is put it together isn't isn't very good. 46:06.795 --> 46:19.282 No it's fantastic editing job but yes I mean if I was if I was Bowie I would just I would think well there you go I have to deal with a lot of these kinds of people but I'm not going to go on their radio program. 46:19.522 --> 46:20.743 There's no way I'm going on their program. 46:20.763 --> 46:21.885 There's no way I'm going on that. 46:22.145 --> 46:23.547 Listen to the way they talk about me. 46:23.747 --> 46:25.048 It's absolutely disrespectful. 46:25.068 --> 46:25.689 They think I'm a joke. 46:25.989 --> 46:27.191 It's totally disrespectful. 46:27.551 --> 46:31.316 I've made some of the most influential music of the last 200 years. 46:31.756 --> 46:35.480 And these two buffoons are talking about me as if I'm some kind of sideshow freak. 46:35.681 --> 46:36.521 These two biffins. 46:36.982 --> 46:38.484 These two absolute biffins. 46:38.504 --> 46:39.445 They're a couple of biffins. 46:41.067 --> 46:41.907 The tall biffen. 46:44.089 --> 46:45.891 He's done a song about me in the pub. 46:46.131 --> 46:47.532 That's absolutely ludicrous. 46:47.853 --> 46:49.654 It's absolutely ludicrous. 46:51.536 --> 46:54.278 I don't call my parts my serious moon. 46:55.439 --> 46:57.842 If we carry on like this there's no way he's ever ever going to come anywhere. 46:57.882 --> 46:59.343 We were thinking that he might chat to us all 46:59.343 --> 47:01.125 Obviously, he's not. 47:01.145 --> 47:02.446 I don't think he even would do that. 47:02.506 --> 47:06.070 I think he would move into the corner of the room. 47:06.110 --> 47:06.470 How about this? 47:06.510 --> 47:06.971 How about this? 47:07.311 --> 47:12.056 Because it's obviously stupid for him to have any sort of live engagement with us on air because we can't be trusted. 47:12.076 --> 47:14.418 I mean, I don't trust us, so he shouldn't. 47:14.678 --> 47:16.440 So what about an email questionnaire? 47:17.521 --> 47:18.342 Yes, yes, yes. 47:18.382 --> 47:18.983 Written a question. 47:19.023 --> 47:19.924 At a safe distance. 47:19.984 --> 47:20.525 At a safe distance. 47:20.545 --> 47:23.608 What if we write a series of questions that the listeners could help us formulate them? 47:23.749 --> 47:23.969 Yeah. 47:24.530 --> 47:26.972 Say five, five questions, five keybowie questions. 47:27.033 --> 47:27.273 Always. 47:27.493 --> 47:28.334 This is okay. 47:28.394 --> 47:29.596 It's a safe distance. 47:30.036 --> 47:31.718 I don't mind taking part in this. 47:31.958 --> 47:34.642 And he could just, we could just have an epistolary relationship. 47:34.662 --> 47:35.302 Yeah, that would do. 47:35.322 --> 47:36.304 That would work. 47:36.784 --> 47:37.365 Yeah, it is. 47:37.465 --> 47:38.025 Epistolic. 47:38.165 --> 47:40.807 Listen, folks, you're listening to Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 47:40.847 --> 47:42.789 It's just gone 10.30 and it's time for the news. 47:42.989 --> 47:46.692 That's Prince the Purple Ponce with the ballad of Dorothy Parker. 47:46.712 --> 47:48.153 That's from the Sign of the Times album. 47:48.173 --> 47:53.217 That was a free play for you listeners, which I chose because it's kind of bath related, isn't it? 47:53.337 --> 47:59.643 I mean, took another bubble bath with my pants on, all the fattens stuck. 47:59.963 --> 48:01.344 I mean, it's a strange song. 48:01.384 --> 48:02.545 I don't know what he's going on there. 48:02.765 --> 48:06.208 It's a very elaborate seduction technique, isn't it? 48:06.268 --> 48:07.890 I don't know. 48:08.090 --> 48:10.252 I'd have to have listened to the lyrics properly. 48:10.392 --> 48:11.993 Yeah, it's a wonderful song, though. 48:12.374 --> 48:13.014 Hope you enjoyed it. 48:13.375 --> 48:18.279 And we will probably be playing our song wars songs once again towards the end of the show. 48:18.299 --> 48:19.400 In about an hour's time. 48:19.520 --> 48:20.201 In about an hour. 48:20.681 --> 48:22.523 So if you missed them, you'll get another chance to hear them then. 48:22.563 --> 48:24.925 But right now, we're in the midst of textination. 48:25.225 --> 48:26.987 Maybe the best textination we've ever done. 48:27.087 --> 48:27.908 So let's have the jingle. 48:33.094 --> 48:35.058 What if I don't want to? 48:35.138 --> 48:36.140 But I'm using email. 48:36.321 --> 48:37.022 Is that a problem? 48:37.063 --> 48:37.884 It doesn't matter, text! 48:40.365 --> 48:44.128 So Adam, remind us of the subject for Text the Nation this week. 48:44.648 --> 48:45.829 Well, Joe, it's very simple. 48:46.850 --> 48:50.813 We're just talking about pet names that you have for various body parts. 48:50.833 --> 48:53.816 You used your voiceover voice for the beginning of that sentence. 48:54.236 --> 48:59.400 And it really did make a little bit of my brain sort of think that you knew what you were talking about. 48:59.420 --> 49:00.321 You lifted it a little bit. 49:00.341 --> 49:01.221 You had authority. 49:01.462 --> 49:03.883 I saw Arthur Smith last night doing gig. 49:04.144 --> 49:05.825 Oh, at least I was listening to him over the Tanoi. 49:05.845 --> 49:06.906 He was on after me. 49:06.966 --> 49:07.847 I did a gig in Greenwich. 49:08.636 --> 49:14.401 And one of the things he was saying was he's fed up when morning DJs sound all perky. 49:14.982 --> 49:22.769 And he said, you know, I'd like to hear a DJ that sounds the way you really feel in the morning, like, oh, God, it's so early. 49:23.169 --> 49:24.290 I'm so depressed. 49:24.410 --> 49:26.032 So, you know, but you don't want that, do you? 49:26.052 --> 49:27.213 You want people to gee you up. 49:27.253 --> 49:32.898 Well, if you want that, you listen to Vanessa Feltz or John Gawn to one of those furious 49:32.978 --> 49:35.080 Yes, early morning, anti-DJs. 49:35.400 --> 49:42.648 Feltz isn't furious, but you know one of the ones that gets you wound up about spurious things they've read in the paper that are probably inaccurate in the first place. 49:42.808 --> 49:47.433 But it's, you know, part of a DJ's job is to lift the mood a little bit, I think, don't you think? 49:47.473 --> 49:48.694 Well, you did it very well. 49:48.954 --> 49:49.094 Yeah. 49:49.575 --> 49:54.060 So, Text the Nation this week, listeners, is all about fun names that you give your body parts. 49:55.040 --> 50:01.783 Nicknames for, you know, not just your Winkle Zones, there's a nickname right there, but other parts of your body as well. 50:02.183 --> 50:05.004 Give us your ideas, you can text them or email them to us right now. 50:05.364 --> 50:10.846 Adamandjo.6music at bbc.co.uk is the email, or the text is 64046. 50:12.527 --> 50:15.288 Joe, you've got a few suggestions from our listeners that have come in there, haven't you? 50:16.874 --> 50:20.016 Here's one from Alex in London, and this hasn't been officially given to me. 50:20.056 --> 50:23.278 I just happen to have spotted this on the text readout board. 50:24.479 --> 50:27.981 And you know, I'm going in with a slightly edgy one just to get this out of the way. 50:28.581 --> 50:33.865 Alex says, my genital, yeah, singular, has come to be known as the sadness. 50:35.325 --> 50:39.768 I tried to name my testicles Michael and Bubbles but it hasn't caught on. 50:40.068 --> 50:40.728 Can you help? 50:40.988 --> 50:41.588 Mickey Bubbles. 50:41.889 --> 50:49.212 Well hopefully Alex we will be able to help because we're going to be offering a lot of suggestions for alternative names for body parts. 50:49.592 --> 50:56.756 Here's one from an anonymous texter who says my boyfriend calls my boobs open inverted commas the guys. 50:57.636 --> 50:57.816 Mmm. 50:58.057 --> 51:02.299 The right one is Guy 1 and the left is Guy 2. 51:03.020 --> 51:03.800 Not Guy Ritchie. 51:04.240 --> 51:04.520 No. 51:05.161 --> 51:07.282 That's very bald and basic, isn't it? 51:07.322 --> 51:08.903 You have Guy Garvey and Guy Ritchie. 51:09.343 --> 51:11.725 Both those suggestions are better, but it's just the guys. 51:11.925 --> 51:12.625 The guys. 51:12.966 --> 51:14.086 That's a nice name for them. 51:14.106 --> 51:14.607 Do you think? 51:14.787 --> 51:16.548 Yeah, what about do you use any pet names? 51:16.588 --> 51:17.949 I think it lacks imagination. 51:18.129 --> 51:20.670 I'm not saying necessarily for your partner, but just maybe your mother. 51:21.050 --> 51:23.412 No, I don't know. 51:23.452 --> 51:24.753 For my mother's what? 51:26.493 --> 51:27.754 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 51:27.774 --> 51:29.294 It's all right. 51:29.554 --> 51:30.274 Dirty pillows. 51:30.454 --> 51:31.114 Let's move on. 51:31.195 --> 51:31.675 What about that? 51:31.715 --> 51:33.455 Have you ever heard them referred to as dirty pillows? 51:33.495 --> 51:34.675 Yeah, that's in a film, isn't it? 51:34.715 --> 51:34.975 Isn't it? 51:35.015 --> 51:37.116 Is it evil in war or something? 51:37.376 --> 51:41.817 It's some kind of kid that's been brought up in a repressed atmosphere. 51:42.697 --> 51:46.938 And I'm sure it's from something and she doesn't want anyone to touch her in those places. 51:47.039 --> 51:47.799 Get off my dirty pillows. 51:47.839 --> 51:48.739 Get off my dirty pillows. 51:51.568 --> 51:54.252 If you know where that reference originally came from. 51:54.272 --> 51:54.392 Maybe. 51:54.693 --> 51:56.415 I've got it in my... Maybe it's Witness. 51:57.056 --> 51:58.538 No, it's not Witness. 51:58.619 --> 51:59.540 Dertipellus! 51:59.560 --> 52:00.361 No! 52:00.461 --> 52:03.085 Mr. Henderson, you're touching my Dertipellus! 52:03.105 --> 52:03.986 My Dertipellus! 52:04.647 --> 52:06.089 Here's one from PJ in Liverpool. 52:06.710 --> 52:07.091 I call... 52:08.092 --> 52:12.857 I call my mum's left ankle George and her right ankle Mildred. 52:13.298 --> 52:14.339 I just don't believe that. 52:14.579 --> 52:14.819 No. 52:14.959 --> 52:15.440 Why would you? 52:15.460 --> 52:17.942 Because in what situation would you be referring to? 52:17.962 --> 52:18.763 Unless you're... Let's pick these out. 52:18.823 --> 52:19.924 Charlotte, you've picked these out, right? 52:19.964 --> 52:21.105 I'm looking at Charlotte now. 52:22.086 --> 52:22.947 All right, here's the next one. 52:23.268 --> 52:24.929 This is from Lucy in Stoke Newington. 52:25.170 --> 52:26.071 Good morning, Adam and Jo. 52:26.111 --> 52:27.672 My boyfriend calls his bits 52:28.593 --> 52:30.475 His Vera and Duckworths. 52:30.795 --> 52:31.395 Hee hee. 52:32.276 --> 52:33.197 Vera Duckworths. 52:35.579 --> 52:35.919 He's not one. 52:36.239 --> 52:39.101 Big Jim at work in Wymundham. 52:39.522 --> 52:39.902 Wyndham. 52:40.502 --> 52:41.743 No, it's not spelt like that. 52:41.943 --> 52:44.946 Yeah, but sometimes things are spelt in a different way to the pronunciation. 52:44.966 --> 52:45.206 Look at that. 52:45.226 --> 52:45.826 It's the fourth one down. 52:45.866 --> 52:46.387 Wymundham. 52:46.607 --> 52:47.167 Yeah, Wyndham. 52:47.888 --> 52:48.628 That's in Norfolk. 52:48.948 --> 52:49.629 That's very near. 52:49.729 --> 52:50.869 Yeah, that's near to where I live. 52:50.970 --> 52:51.770 In Wyndham. 52:52.210 --> 52:57.613 He says, a few mates and myself, this is good, all have double chins, but we all refer to them as giblet chins. 52:57.993 --> 52:58.254 Ah, yes. 52:58.274 --> 52:59.374 Not sure why, but we do. 52:59.754 --> 53:00.655 Yeah, there you go. 53:00.815 --> 53:05.838 Well, in Allie McBeal, they referred to that bit under the jaw as the wattle, didn't they? 53:06.318 --> 53:08.419 The wattle might be the actual name. 53:08.559 --> 53:08.780 Yeah. 53:09.940 --> 53:16.906 It's got so has he got something to do with it what a turkey has yes exactly so when you go a grow up and your Skin starts sagging all over the shop. 53:16.946 --> 53:25.833 That's the other thing is once you pass 40 and your body starts betraying you your body's not suffering Your body's absolutely betraying you as well, isn't it? 53:26.354 --> 53:26.574 Hmm 53:28.295 --> 53:41.668 You know everyone's body betrays them a little bit and once you're past 40 the chances that you're gonna get betrayed go up Considerably and the wattle is one of the first things you get isn't it that the skin starts sagging around there That's if it hasn't you know George Lucas. 53:41.708 --> 53:42.970 He's the king of the wattle, right? 53:43.210 --> 53:49.456 Yes, he's got a hell of a wattle I mean, he's got all kinds of he keeps snacks and stuff tucked away in that wattle Weimandam 53:50.857 --> 53:52.658 You can't believe that something is spelled so differently. 53:52.678 --> 53:53.579 Why would you spell it like that? 53:53.599 --> 53:57.081 Have you ever seen, like, you know, the Chumleys and the Fanshaws? 53:57.141 --> 53:57.501 Didn't you? 53:57.561 --> 53:58.782 Do you remember that dance company? 53:59.102 --> 54:01.724 The Chol-Mondolese and the Featherstone-Hoffs? 54:01.744 --> 54:02.224 That's different. 54:02.744 --> 54:04.305 It's like when someone's called Owen. 54:04.665 --> 54:04.885 Yeah. 54:05.146 --> 54:08.988 And then their name is spelled in some amazingly elaborate Welsh manner. 54:09.088 --> 54:10.269 Iogin or something. 54:10.429 --> 54:12.950 Yeah, like Iogin, what was he called on the X-Factor? 54:13.410 --> 54:13.691 Kweig. 54:13.711 --> 54:14.091 Kweig, yeah. 54:14.231 --> 54:14.891 Iogin Kweig. 54:16.192 --> 54:17.853 You're absolutely bowled over by that, aren't you? 54:17.873 --> 54:18.933 You can't believe... Wymandom. 54:18.973 --> 54:19.454 Wymandom. 54:19.474 --> 54:21.014 I've got to go there and talk to them about it. 54:21.054 --> 54:21.855 After the show. 54:22.375 --> 54:27.217 There's another place near Wymandom that's spelt Kostessi and it's pronounced Kossi. 54:27.957 --> 54:30.438 So you can really get a lot of egg on your face with that one. 54:30.458 --> 54:31.519 Let me tell you. 54:32.779 --> 54:36.241 Joe, this is a great textination and we're going to come back to it later on in the programme. 54:36.261 --> 54:40.963 So just hold your horses there and we're going to play some more great music for the listeners right now on 6 Music. 54:41.003 --> 54:42.564 Here's Bat for Lashes with Sleep Alone. 54:43.104 --> 54:48.191 Lovely Natasha Khan back for lashes with sleep alone here on BBC six music. 54:48.612 --> 54:52.598 This is Adam and Joe How you doing listeners lovely to have you along this Saturday afternoon? 54:52.618 --> 54:54.220 How you doing, Joe? 54:54.360 --> 54:54.821 I'm alright. 54:55.001 --> 54:55.702 Yeah, I'm fine. 54:55.862 --> 54:56.383 Yeah good. 54:56.563 --> 54:57.505 I've got a bit of a cold. 54:57.585 --> 54:58.486 Sorry about that listeners 54:59.287 --> 55:03.410 I was thinking the other day that you and I, Adam and me went to school together. 55:04.051 --> 55:05.632 And we used to have Saturday morning school. 55:05.692 --> 55:06.232 That's true, isn't it? 55:06.252 --> 55:06.893 Do you remember that? 55:06.913 --> 55:07.433 Yeah, sure. 55:07.993 --> 55:11.336 So one way or another, you and I have seen each other on Saturday mornings. 55:11.416 --> 55:13.437 A lot more than most friends, you reckon? 55:13.757 --> 55:15.839 I mean, what has it been now, 25 years? 55:16.019 --> 55:17.140 Something like that. 55:17.160 --> 55:17.980 27 even. 55:18.221 --> 55:18.981 A long time. 55:19.001 --> 55:19.862 Yeah, we met when we were 12. 55:20.142 --> 55:22.123 Every Saturday morning. 55:22.143 --> 55:22.664 28 years, mate. 55:23.044 --> 55:26.767 That's got to be some kind of scientific sort of anomaly, hasn't it? 55:27.983 --> 55:34.247 Yes, I mean, I've probably spent more Saturdays, way more Saturdays with you than with my wife or anyone else in my life. 55:34.707 --> 55:37.689 Psychologists must be able to do something with that, mustn't they? 55:37.849 --> 55:41.331 Well, like, I'm thinking we could profit from this somehow. 55:41.431 --> 55:43.132 How on earth could you profit from that? 55:43.172 --> 55:44.312 I don't know, I don't know. 55:44.492 --> 55:46.473 Somehow, we've got to be able to make money out of it somehow. 55:46.493 --> 55:47.734 We could get some kind of radio show. 55:47.934 --> 55:48.775 We could, couldn't we? 55:48.855 --> 55:49.675 Yeah, we could get paid. 55:50.035 --> 55:51.496 Is that what you're thinking? 55:51.656 --> 55:51.936 Could we? 55:51.956 --> 55:52.877 No, no one ever would. 55:53.177 --> 55:53.978 Here's a free play. 55:54.118 --> 55:59.802 This is Griffiths Jones, the popular BBC presenter, and this song is called Lonesome Words. 55:59.842 --> 56:01.764 Is he the guy that used to be in Super Furry Animals? 56:01.964 --> 56:02.124 Yeah. 56:02.685 --> 56:04.606 Is Mel Smith also in Super Furry Animals? 56:04.946 --> 56:05.147 Yes. 56:05.547 --> 56:05.687 Oh. 56:06.087 --> 56:07.629 That's the Matals with Monkey Man. 56:07.669 --> 56:09.910 Is that just the Matals on their own without the Toots? 56:10.331 --> 56:11.612 Toots was in there as well, wasn't he? 56:11.632 --> 56:12.232 There's Toots in there. 56:12.252 --> 56:14.574 That was Toots and the Matals then with Monkey Man. 56:14.594 --> 56:16.255 This is Adam and Joe on BBC Six Music. 56:16.275 --> 56:17.737 Maybe Toots wasn't involved. 56:18.317 --> 56:18.777 Oh, no. 56:18.797 --> 56:20.599 In which case the Matals will be absolutely furious. 56:21.019 --> 56:22.980 Why is everyone always going on about toots? 56:23.300 --> 56:25.680 You know we did stuff without toots sometimes! 56:25.960 --> 56:31.702 When we play toots and the maetles it usually says toots and the maetles and that just said said the maetles so let's go with that. 56:31.722 --> 56:34.222 The castle wouldn't get something like that wrong would it? 56:34.242 --> 56:35.302 I don't think so. 56:35.523 --> 56:41.104 Listen a moment ago we were talking about Dirty Pillows and we were wondering what film that came from. 56:41.164 --> 56:41.424 Oh yeah. 56:41.604 --> 56:56.301 millions of people texted in saying it's of course from Carrie is it hypo Laurie's character says it to sissy spacek the mum to the daughter she says where is it somebody's quoted it I can see your dirty pillows says carries mum they're called 56:56.641 --> 57:12.463 that's mama that's right it's carry but I am I right in thinking that it's a literary reference though did someone else use the phrase dirty pillows before that in a book or was that coined for carry I think it's Chaucerian was it sounds like sure it sounds like the word 57:13.524 --> 57:14.845 Your dirty pillows. 57:15.145 --> 57:20.889 Now, Joe, did you see on Channel 4 this week, on Thursday, Alone in the Wild? 57:21.109 --> 57:24.572 No, but I saw the trailers and it looked like it was going to be very heavy. 57:24.772 --> 57:26.613 It was a remarkable documentary. 57:27.234 --> 57:28.695 Ed Wardle is the name of the guy. 57:28.715 --> 57:29.876 I don't know who he is, right? 57:30.096 --> 57:31.237 Have you ever heard of Ed Wardle? 57:31.357 --> 57:31.557 No. 57:31.817 --> 57:35.780 He's a Scottish man and he looks a little bit like Fran Healy from Travis. 57:36.220 --> 57:40.143 Like a slightly more roughy-toughty version of Fran from Travis. 57:40.943 --> 57:52.191 And he was dropped into the unforgiving Yukon wilderness with just basic provisions and cameras to film himself as he attempted to survive completely alone in the wild. 57:52.291 --> 57:53.151 It's a series, right? 57:53.552 --> 58:00.136 And I would guess that this guy is an experienced documentary maker himself because it's very well shot. 58:00.496 --> 58:01.597 Like he's doing it all himself. 58:01.617 --> 58:02.217 He's all on his own. 58:02.257 --> 58:04.359 I really like that as a format for a doc. 58:05.059 --> 58:21.984 So he's totally on his own but he's got some really creative camera angles and he does a lot of things where he straps the camera to holes or himself or whatever so it looks a bit like Scorsese in the bar and mean streets every now and again, you know and so it looks really nice and I have a few anxieties sometimes about 58:22.504 --> 58:25.167 how long it took to construct some of the shots, you know what I mean? 58:25.567 --> 58:31.153 Like he does a lot of, there's one bit where he dives into the water off a rock and you see it from several different angles. 58:31.193 --> 58:36.198 Like first of all, you see him on the rock talking into the camera, holding the camera, saying, yeah, I've always wanted to do this. 58:36.558 --> 58:38.700 I'm just about to dive into the water off this rock. 58:38.740 --> 58:39.401 It's amazing. 58:39.841 --> 58:40.882 Oh, it's going to be so wonderful. 58:41.202 --> 58:44.626 And then you see a wide shot from somewhere else of him diving in. 58:44.986 --> 58:45.667 So you think, right. 58:45.867 --> 58:46.988 So he's gone all the way around. 58:47.168 --> 59:16.568 the lake he's gone all the way around the lake he would have had to set up that shot walk all the way back dive in come out walk all the way back round did he dive in and swim across and put the camera there right maybe which case that wouldn't be his first dive but i always feel as if i'm being slightly lied to i mean i know that's just the language of documentary i'm not supposed to think about it but i want to see him like he's got to do a shot i want to see the shot of him walking over to the camera and repositioning it you know and saying i've just got to reposition the camera now for the shot of me diving into the lake which i've always wanted to do 59:17.889 --> 59:22.251 You know, surely it's fully must be full of my I mean that could drive you mad, isn't it full of moments like that? 59:22.271 --> 59:32.357 Yeah, I mean it would be impractical it would get in the way of your enjoyment of the narrative maybe but the thing that really stuck out is the And I don't want to sound cynical about it, but the slight pointlessness of the whole thing 59:32.833 --> 59:36.777 Like it is interesting, it is certainly interesting seeing this guy out in the wilderness and stuff. 59:37.458 --> 59:42.644 But you always have to come back, or rather he feels he always has to come back to why he's actually doing it. 59:43.164 --> 59:46.488 And in those situations, there's really not very much of a reason. 59:48.490 --> 59:51.272 Well, just to see if he can survive there for a while. 59:51.632 --> 59:51.852 Right. 59:51.872 --> 59:52.353 Right. 59:52.373 --> 59:53.954 Without being killed by bears. 59:54.114 --> 59:54.354 Right. 59:54.554 --> 59:55.475 Or breaking his ankle. 59:55.795 --> 59:56.035 Right. 59:56.215 --> 59:56.476 You know? 59:56.836 --> 59:58.577 How far away is he from civilization? 59:58.717 --> 01:00:06.062 He's quite a long way, but he's got a little orange GPS message sending thing, which he has to press every 24 hours. 01:00:06.102 --> 01:00:06.943 To say that he's alive. 01:00:06.963 --> 01:00:07.883 To say that he's okay. 01:00:07.963 --> 01:00:09.224 And has he got a destination? 01:00:09.264 --> 01:00:11.886 Is he going somewhere or is he just settling in the same place? 01:00:11.906 --> 01:00:13.027 No, I don't think so. 01:00:13.087 --> 01:00:15.849 Here's the blurb that comes with the opening episode. 01:00:16.469 --> 01:00:18.231 Ed is flown into the Canadian wilderness. 01:00:18.311 --> 01:00:22.975 As the plane disappears, he's instantly overwhelmed by the realization that he's completely alone. 01:00:23.275 --> 01:00:26.277 He finds it hard to make decisions, but manages to set up camp. 01:00:26.558 --> 01:00:29.200 He's frightened and nervous of every sound and movement around him. 01:00:29.500 --> 01:00:34.744 As the day goes by, it dawns on Ed that the escapist's dream is a lot harder than he ever imagined. 01:00:34.865 --> 01:00:37.587 This is exactly what happens when my girlfriend goes away. 01:00:37.967 --> 01:00:41.948 Yeah, it's like a description of me home alone. 01:00:42.068 --> 01:00:43.649 So by day four, how are you doing? 01:00:43.969 --> 01:00:44.709 I'm nearly dead. 01:00:44.929 --> 01:00:45.809 Well, he's in trouble. 01:00:45.849 --> 01:00:48.790 By day four, he's only been out there four days camping, right? 01:00:48.910 --> 01:00:51.231 And he's had no bear contact at this point, although he's frightened. 01:00:51.291 --> 01:00:51.711 Fair enough. 01:00:52.291 --> 01:00:54.572 But by day four, he's already falling apart. 01:00:54.792 --> 01:00:57.433 He sees a plane flying overhead at one stage, right? 01:00:57.733 --> 01:00:58.873 And he gets his... Oh, look! 01:00:58.893 --> 01:01:00.214 There's a plane flying overhead! 01:01:01.374 --> 01:01:02.615 And then he starts crying. 01:01:02.735 --> 01:01:03.095 Does he? 01:01:03.115 --> 01:01:04.056 I don't know. 01:01:04.376 --> 01:01:05.677 I don't know why I'm crying. 01:01:06.197 --> 01:01:10.139 It's just so shocking to see that plane going over it. 01:01:10.340 --> 01:01:14.702 It didn't even stop or try and look or anything like that. 01:01:15.103 --> 01:01:17.344 He's totally falling apart on day four. 01:01:17.504 --> 01:01:18.745 He sounds like a bit of a wuss. 01:01:18.805 --> 01:01:20.286 He's a tiny bit of a wuss. 01:01:21.546 --> 01:01:22.907 Maybe that's more dramatic, isn't it? 01:01:22.927 --> 01:01:23.588 A bit of a dress. 01:01:23.708 --> 01:01:24.348 Better than pudding. 01:01:24.388 --> 01:01:26.369 For instance, hard man Jeff Capes in the wilderness. 01:01:26.409 --> 01:01:28.251 But they should have called it dress in the wild then. 01:01:30.951 --> 01:01:34.493 Hey, but listen, this is only part one of several, right? 01:01:34.553 --> 01:01:38.555 And I read a trail for next week that says he nearly dies. 01:01:39.075 --> 01:01:41.997 Well, the other thing is that he's... Apparently he genuinely did nearly die. 01:01:42.197 --> 01:01:42.497 Really? 01:01:42.637 --> 01:01:44.538 Right, so that makes it better, doesn't it? 01:01:44.558 --> 01:01:46.339 That takes it more fun. 01:01:46.359 --> 01:01:48.481 At one point he justifies the whole exercise thus. 01:01:49.361 --> 01:01:51.123 This is doing something extraordinary. 01:01:51.243 --> 01:01:52.705 I'm going to learn a whole load. 01:01:53.465 --> 01:01:56.348 There may be a life-changing experience in this, and that'll be good. 01:01:56.649 --> 01:02:02.094 I want to film my life with extraordinary things, extraordinary adventures, extraordinary learning situations. 01:02:02.375 --> 01:02:09.282 I want to do extraordinary things all the time, and I think that if I do them, then my life will be exciting and vital and worth living. 01:02:09.482 --> 01:02:12.365 Is it too late, and is he too far away to find him and punch him? 01:02:13.745 --> 01:02:14.906 But that's his whole justification. 01:02:14.926 --> 01:02:21.289 He just wants to do, and he must be about early 40s, I would say, and all he wants to do is just extraordinary things. 01:02:21.929 --> 01:02:22.369 Do you know what? 01:02:22.409 --> 01:02:23.049 He'll discover. 01:02:23.250 --> 01:02:23.430 What? 01:02:23.650 --> 01:02:25.731 He'll discover that it's actually nice at home. 01:02:25.871 --> 01:02:27.251 That's the thing, isn't it? 01:02:27.271 --> 01:02:28.652 That's always what everyone learns. 01:02:28.712 --> 01:02:36.135 Also, you'll get used to it, and after a while he'll think, like, I want to go to the extraordinary toilet in, like, an extraordinarily comfortable lab, and things like that. 01:02:36.155 --> 01:02:37.015 Anyway. 01:02:37.035 --> 01:02:38.276 He won't want to catch up on telly. 01:02:38.596 --> 01:02:44.197 It was enjoyable though, I'll certainly be tuning in next week Thursday's 9pm Channel 4 Alone in the Wild. 01:02:44.918 --> 01:02:48.979 This is Camera Obscura right now with Let's Get Out of This Country. 01:03:04.420 --> 01:03:07.721 That was the Mighty Coldplay with Strawberry Swing. 01:03:08.201 --> 01:03:09.201 No idea what that was about. 01:03:09.221 --> 01:03:10.602 Were you listening to the lyrics? 01:03:10.822 --> 01:03:12.522 No, I wasn't listening to it at all, to be honest. 01:03:12.582 --> 01:03:21.685 I was preparing some text-to-nation entries, but... It sounded nice, though, but I wasn't really concentrating on thematically what he was banging on about Strawberry Swing. 01:03:22.185 --> 01:03:24.306 They've gone all township as well. 01:03:24.326 --> 01:03:25.506 Did we talk about this last week? 01:03:26.206 --> 01:03:26.746 Oh, yes. 01:03:26.766 --> 01:03:27.686 Was it this record? 01:03:27.767 --> 01:03:28.747 The very best. 01:03:29.467 --> 01:03:31.107 Was the township record, wasn't it? 01:03:31.187 --> 01:03:32.888 Featuring the guy from Vampire Weekend. 01:03:33.328 --> 01:03:34.492 Right, but was that Coldplay? 01:03:34.792 --> 01:03:35.955 No, no, no, that was the very best. 01:03:36.096 --> 01:03:39.405 So this is another band jumping on the whole, um, Graceland. 01:03:39.747 --> 01:03:41.408 Well, they did a Paul Simon bandwagon. 01:03:41.448 --> 01:03:41.929 I guess so. 01:03:42.029 --> 01:03:43.650 That was Eno they're working with there, though. 01:03:43.690 --> 01:03:43.990 Really? 01:03:44.090 --> 01:03:44.371 Yeah. 01:03:44.651 --> 01:03:46.953 I see Eno jumping on another bandwagon. 01:03:47.473 --> 01:03:49.915 He was one of the first people to do all that mixing up. 01:03:50.115 --> 01:03:51.376 He manufactures the bandwagon. 01:03:51.396 --> 01:03:52.176 Cross-pollination. 01:03:52.297 --> 01:03:53.357 Yeah, he's the bandwagon man. 01:03:53.397 --> 01:03:54.498 He does the wheels and stuff. 01:03:54.638 --> 01:03:55.499 He does wonky wheels. 01:03:55.919 --> 01:03:58.001 Do you think he invented South African music? 01:03:58.061 --> 01:03:59.262 Do you think he went on holiday there? 01:03:59.302 --> 01:04:02.604 Like very, very... Pretty sure he invented South Africa. 01:04:02.724 --> 01:04:03.045 Did he? 01:04:03.145 --> 01:04:04.606 He found it and he set it up. 01:04:04.626 --> 01:04:05.947 Just opposed a couple of words. 01:04:06.167 --> 01:04:10.650 Yeah, he got some cards out there and started reading them out to the locals. 01:04:10.710 --> 01:04:12.492 And that was how South Africa was born. 01:04:12.532 --> 01:04:13.893 He's not responsible for the bad parts. 01:04:14.153 --> 01:04:14.894 Of course not. 01:04:15.274 --> 01:04:16.455 The apartheid and stuff like that. 01:04:16.495 --> 01:04:17.796 That's when Eno was off the job. 01:04:18.476 --> 01:04:19.597 Text the nation time now. 01:04:19.637 --> 01:04:20.538 Sorry, do you have something else? 01:04:20.758 --> 01:04:20.978 No. 01:04:23.280 --> 01:04:24.060 Let's have the jingle. 01:04:26.362 --> 01:04:27.183 Text the nation. 01:04:27.223 --> 01:04:29.144 Text, text, text, text the nation. 01:04:29.204 --> 01:04:30.185 What if I don't want to? 01:04:30.405 --> 01:04:31.146 Text the nation. 01:04:31.246 --> 01:04:32.247 But I'm using email. 01:04:32.427 --> 01:04:33.147 Is that a problem? 01:04:33.167 --> 01:04:33.968 It doesn't matter, text. 01:04:36.420 --> 01:04:42.842 So Text the Nation, this week listeners is all about alternative names for parts of your body's pet names. 01:04:43.362 --> 01:04:43.962 Cancals. 01:04:43.982 --> 01:04:45.342 Have you heard the phrase cancals? 01:04:45.562 --> 01:04:46.083 Yes, I have. 01:04:46.523 --> 01:04:47.303 That's a lady thing. 01:04:47.343 --> 01:04:49.763 Is that in Sex and the City or something like that? 01:04:49.803 --> 01:04:52.764 What is it when your ankles get all rough and nasty? 01:04:52.864 --> 01:04:55.705 No, it's when your... No, Charlotte knows. 01:04:56.145 --> 01:04:59.006 It's when there's no difference between your calves and your ankles. 01:04:59.066 --> 01:05:00.766 They kind of merge into one. 01:05:00.806 --> 01:05:02.127 Ah, cancals. 01:05:02.287 --> 01:05:03.167 You get cancals. 01:05:03.527 --> 01:05:03.847 Wow. 01:05:04.008 --> 01:05:05.869 It does sound like what you said earlier, doesn't it? 01:05:05.909 --> 01:05:07.270 Like rough skin deposits. 01:05:08.572 --> 01:05:10.593 Here's one that's coming from Robin in Brighton. 01:05:10.974 --> 01:05:18.140 My breastfeeding children call my wife's left breast the Big Milk and the other one that one. 01:05:19.641 --> 01:05:38.874 They were very particular about which one was required Wow, I've never heard of that before like special loyalty to a left or right breast I don't want that one that one in the big milk Big milk like some tawdry channel for early morning program That's right. 01:05:38.894 --> 01:05:49.061 Here's one from Dave Dave says Adam and Joe I call my girlfriend's nipples the pointer sisters obvious reasons as they stick out like a couple of chapel hat pegs 01:05:49.781 --> 01:06:09.053 A couple chapel hat pegs and that's on a warm day So he's written I'm just in a chapel right right right put way a chapel on a cold day She could take someone's eye out have they got particularly big pegs in chapels chapel hat pegs 01:06:09.153 --> 01:06:09.413 peg. 01:06:09.553 --> 01:06:10.594 Yeah, it's very descriptive. 01:06:10.634 --> 01:06:11.255 Well done, Dave. 01:06:11.295 --> 01:06:11.615 Thank you. 01:06:11.655 --> 01:06:13.016 Here's one from Mark in Birmingham. 01:06:13.356 --> 01:06:19.842 My seven-year-old son James calls his nipples, armpits, and testicles his underpips. 01:06:19.962 --> 01:06:20.602 Underpips? 01:06:20.642 --> 01:06:22.344 He calls all of them his underpips. 01:06:22.524 --> 01:06:23.044 Whoa. 01:06:23.625 --> 01:06:25.807 That's not very specific, though. 01:06:25.827 --> 01:06:26.807 You've got to narrow it down. 01:06:26.867 --> 01:06:27.968 Not very useful, is it? 01:06:28.008 --> 01:06:33.433 If he hurts one of those and just refers to it as the underpips, the first aid people are going to be very confused. 01:06:35.274 --> 01:06:36.215 My underpips. 01:06:36.395 --> 01:06:38.537 Here's one from Lou in Barry St Edmunds. 01:06:38.577 --> 01:06:42.500 Morning Adam and Jo, my friend's little girl started to ask what her girl bits were called. 01:06:42.540 --> 01:06:47.684 Her mum helpfully said, you can call it what you like darling, to which her little girl replied, Harry Potter! 01:06:51.307 --> 01:06:52.408 Yeah, that's a good one. 01:06:52.528 --> 01:06:58.614 It'll be good for later in life as well Woo-woo, that's what the Americans call them sometimes, isn't it? 01:06:58.934 --> 01:07:05.660 Yeah, my wife's joined up toes are called the Webster's the Webster's says Nick from Bristol 01:07:07.762 --> 01:07:11.885 Lee in Essex says, I used to call my man parts a dingle. 01:07:12.245 --> 01:07:19.250 This was in my mind the official name for it, so imagine my amazement one day when my gran took me to Bournemouth and there was a department stall called Dingle's. 01:07:20.591 --> 01:07:23.093 I still remember my amazement and bewilderment. 01:07:23.474 --> 01:07:24.734 Wow, imagine the selection. 01:07:26.476 --> 01:07:28.438 Imagine the selection that they would have there. 01:07:28.679 --> 01:07:31.161 Well, dongle is the other word that I always get confused about. 01:07:31.201 --> 01:07:36.888 Like when someone started referring to the little bit of stuff that you plug into a computer as a dongle, I was like, you what? 01:07:37.709 --> 01:07:39.410 Oh yeah, you just need a dongle for this. 01:07:39.450 --> 01:07:40.351 I was like, what? 01:07:40.752 --> 01:07:41.292 A dongle? 01:07:41.493 --> 01:07:42.394 What are you talking about? 01:07:43.675 --> 01:07:48.359 David Armstrong in West Sussex says, I call my buttocks my bum-go drums. 01:07:49.420 --> 01:07:53.564 Bum-go drums because my mother used to play them like bongos when I was a small child. 01:07:54.125 --> 01:07:55.086 Ah, that's a fun game. 01:07:55.526 --> 01:07:55.887 Really? 01:07:56.027 --> 01:07:58.189 Yes, playing the buttocks of a small child, have you not done that? 01:07:58.269 --> 01:07:59.730 Not when your mother's in the Thompson twins. 01:07:59.750 --> 01:08:01.672 It's got to be your own child, that's the thing. 01:08:01.712 --> 01:08:02.873 And she pulls you on stage. 01:08:03.414 --> 01:08:04.895 Like, Alana... 10 times a week. 01:08:04.915 --> 01:08:06.116 Alana Curry was her name. 01:08:06.417 --> 01:08:06.637 Yeah. 01:08:07.037 --> 01:08:08.678 What are you talking about Alanah Curry for? 01:08:09.058 --> 01:08:13.061 Because she takes the child on stage and plays his buttocks as bongos. 01:08:13.421 --> 01:08:15.283 I'm going to play the bongo drums now. 01:08:15.623 --> 01:08:19.205 Don't worry listeners and audience members, this is my own child. 01:08:19.485 --> 01:08:21.147 You have to do it with your own child. 01:08:21.267 --> 01:08:22.367 You really switched around there. 01:08:22.387 --> 01:08:24.689 For a moment you didn't know what I was talking about and then immediately. 01:08:24.709 --> 01:08:27.951 I was trying to get into the scene. 01:08:29.272 --> 01:08:34.777 When we were children, says... Can you not sigh like that before you... Why does it sound like I'm bored with what I'm about to read? 01:08:34.797 --> 01:08:36.198 Well, it sounds like you're... No, I'm not bored at all. 01:08:36.218 --> 01:08:36.838 I'm excited. 01:08:36.858 --> 01:08:37.899 It sounded like Onwe. 01:08:37.919 --> 01:08:38.980 I'm gearing myself up. 01:08:39.160 --> 01:08:41.182 I was just trying to figure out how to say this person's name. 01:08:41.302 --> 01:08:48.128 Alice, in Ireland, says, When we were children, my mother taught us to call our girl paraphernalia our Tutti Frutti. 01:08:49.329 --> 01:08:53.112 You can imagine my surprise when I saw Tutti Frutti flavoured sweets in our local shop. 01:08:59.284 --> 01:08:59.964 Let's leave it there. 01:08:59.984 --> 01:09:03.286 She probably never got into those sweets, even though they are absolutely delicious. 01:09:03.746 --> 01:09:05.167 Here's a free choice for you now, listeners. 01:09:05.227 --> 01:09:08.688 This is from Neil Young's album On The Beach and it's called Walk On. 01:09:17.012 --> 01:09:18.092 Ruined the end of that song. 01:09:18.272 --> 01:09:18.773 Wasn't me. 01:09:18.973 --> 01:09:20.773 That was Lloyd Cole with Rattlesnakes. 01:09:20.793 --> 01:09:21.054 Correct. 01:09:21.074 --> 01:09:21.954 That was Lloyd Cole. 01:09:22.394 --> 01:09:23.995 Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music. 01:09:24.455 --> 01:09:26.176 Now the more or less finished London. 01:09:27.250 --> 01:09:27.570 Have they? 01:09:27.590 --> 01:09:29.031 They've been working on it for a while. 01:09:29.151 --> 01:09:30.132 Yeah, it's nearly finished. 01:09:30.192 --> 01:09:32.033 It's going to be finished by the end of the month. 01:09:32.874 --> 01:09:39.098 So in October, you'll be pleased to find the streets are in good order, no road works whatsoever. 01:09:39.478 --> 01:09:40.539 All the cranes gone away? 01:09:40.559 --> 01:09:41.079 Yeah. 01:09:41.239 --> 01:09:42.540 All the buildings refurbished? 01:09:42.580 --> 01:09:45.962 You can drive around wherever you like, no diversions, any of that kind of thing. 01:09:46.283 --> 01:09:49.705 Were you aware in South London of a lot of roads being dug up over the summer? 01:09:49.845 --> 01:09:50.605 I certainly am. 01:09:50.665 --> 01:09:52.226 Yeah, my mummy and daddy's house. 01:09:52.326 --> 01:09:55.429 They've got temporary traffic lights outside their front door. 01:09:55.549 --> 01:09:55.689 Yeah. 01:09:56.409 --> 01:09:58.509 And there's no parking because they're digging it all up. 01:09:58.789 --> 01:09:59.470 Parking nightmare. 01:09:59.490 --> 01:10:00.310 It's called chaos. 01:10:00.490 --> 01:10:01.790 Absolute parking chaos. 01:10:01.890 --> 01:10:04.070 And things were pretty bad there already as far as parking. 01:10:04.091 --> 01:10:05.111 Don't get me started. 01:10:05.131 --> 01:10:06.551 Don't even get me started. 01:10:06.571 --> 01:10:11.012 The number of confrontations I flipping have with warden's around that neck of the woods. 01:10:11.512 --> 01:10:15.893 But I was curious about what, I mean, they're installing new water mains is the main thing, right? 01:10:15.913 --> 01:10:16.413 Flash warden. 01:10:16.453 --> 01:10:17.973 I've just thought of a new character, Flash warden. 01:10:18.253 --> 01:10:19.013 Flash warden. 01:10:19.033 --> 01:10:19.853 Warden's alive. 01:10:19.934 --> 01:10:22.134 Yeah, he's an adventurous traffic warden from space. 01:10:22.694 --> 01:10:25.015 But he would be the hero though, I don't want to heroic traffic. 01:10:25.035 --> 01:10:26.975 Well it would challenge your pre-conceptions. 01:10:27.015 --> 01:10:27.856 I don't want them challenged. 01:10:27.876 --> 01:10:29.276 Alright, well you don't need to watch. 01:10:29.616 --> 01:10:31.137 Okay, I'm not watching Flash Warden. 01:10:32.077 --> 01:10:34.097 Do you think it's for kids or grown-ups? 01:10:34.117 --> 01:10:34.678 Flash Warden. 01:10:34.738 --> 01:10:35.098 Idiots. 01:10:35.598 --> 01:10:36.618 It's very idiot. 01:10:37.078 --> 01:10:40.439 I tell you, it's for the Warden community, that's who it's for. 01:10:40.459 --> 01:10:40.759 Is it? 01:10:41.000 --> 01:10:42.300 It's an in-house production. 01:10:42.600 --> 01:10:44.641 to make them feel better about themselves. 01:10:45.642 --> 01:10:50.164 Because morale is so low because they keep having confrontations with enraged customers. 01:10:50.244 --> 01:10:53.426 It's a kind of little bit of propaganda to pick their spirits up. 01:10:53.867 --> 01:10:54.927 Hey chaps, come on. 01:10:55.307 --> 01:10:57.309 Listen, I know it seems tough out there. 01:10:57.349 --> 01:11:00.110 It's a thankless job you're doing, but it's an important one. 01:11:00.410 --> 01:11:03.732 And here to pick up your spirits is a new episode of Flash Warp. 01:11:05.513 --> 01:11:06.294 I do the job. 01:11:07.334 --> 01:11:08.315 It's a really good idea. 01:11:08.575 --> 01:11:09.855 It's a good idea, certainly. 01:11:10.396 --> 01:11:14.638 But listen, I was curious about whether they found anything while they were digging up the roads. 01:11:14.718 --> 01:11:14.998 Yes. 01:11:15.078 --> 01:11:16.099 Like time team style. 01:11:16.599 --> 01:11:17.339 Right, right. 01:11:17.379 --> 01:11:23.462 Tony Robinson might come running in and tell them they can't fill the hole up because he's found an old spoon, that kind of thing. 01:11:24.002 --> 01:11:26.644 I mean, they must have found all manner of trash. 01:11:26.684 --> 01:11:30.546 Like I'm being disdainful towards the school of digging. 01:11:30.586 --> 01:11:31.146 What's it called? 01:11:31.786 --> 01:11:32.166 Dig school. 01:11:33.487 --> 01:11:53.111 that's archaeology archaeology I'm not I think it's brilliant yeah of course it is Indiana Jones man he done it he done it he's wicked if he does it's got to be cool got like a whip and a hat and stuff so what's your problem with like dig school year yeah I was thinking his list of things I think they might have found buried beneath the tarmac in London over the summer 01:11:59.164 --> 01:12:05.851 You know that this is going to be like a... I can't even imagine! 01:12:07.092 --> 01:12:07.613 Go on! 01:12:08.894 --> 01:12:10.096 A comedy list! 01:12:16.402 --> 01:12:17.824 Say the first one! 01:12:19.986 --> 01:12:20.807 A pyramid! 01:12:23.933 --> 01:12:27.414 Because they haven't been around for so long. 01:12:31.815 --> 01:12:32.535 Say another one. 01:12:34.016 --> 01:12:34.816 Ali Sheedy. 01:12:35.336 --> 01:12:35.756 Right. 01:12:37.336 --> 01:12:38.037 She's, yeah. 01:12:38.357 --> 01:12:40.037 Because she hasn't been around for so long. 01:12:40.657 --> 01:12:41.718 She doesn't live in London though. 01:12:42.038 --> 01:12:43.338 That's far fetched. 01:12:43.378 --> 01:12:46.539 She may have slipped down a manhole when she was doing a holiday promotion. 01:12:47.159 --> 01:13:15.500 last yeah yeah for princess caribou how about this is she in that buried i don't know if he'd be kicked buried beneath the tarmac in london that's what they found to go with alisheedy in a pyramid common decency oh of course yeah well that goes without saying in your face ken livingston what is he still the man no you want one more yeah a tamagotchi 01:13:15.800 --> 01:13:16.200 Yes. 01:13:16.781 --> 01:13:18.122 An old trendy thing. 01:13:18.262 --> 01:13:18.542 Yeah. 01:13:18.782 --> 01:13:19.542 Rejected. 01:13:19.562 --> 01:13:20.503 That's good. 01:13:20.603 --> 01:13:22.064 You do one. 01:13:23.785 --> 01:13:24.746 It's not so easy, is it? 01:13:26.907 --> 01:13:27.467 What are you doing? 01:13:27.487 --> 01:13:28.268 That's something else. 01:13:28.888 --> 01:13:30.970 No, I can't think of one at a time to prepare. 01:13:31.310 --> 01:13:31.830 Yeah, you do. 01:13:31.850 --> 01:13:36.193 All right, I'm going to do one more and then we're going to go straight into the next men with round of applause. 01:13:37.033 --> 01:13:37.694 Felix Howard. 01:13:39.286 --> 01:13:39.466 Right? 01:13:39.786 --> 01:13:40.566 It's weird. 01:13:40.706 --> 01:13:41.626 That is a bit weird, isn't it? 01:13:41.646 --> 01:13:42.107 Sorry about that. 01:13:43.667 --> 01:13:44.107 There you go. 01:13:44.247 --> 01:13:45.927 As your round of applause, that was the next men. 01:13:45.967 --> 01:13:47.928 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 01:13:47.968 --> 01:13:54.769 We are going to be playing our Song Wars bath songs in the next half hour, but right now it's just gone 11.30 and it's time for the news. 01:13:55.109 --> 01:14:00.730 Sounding fresh as a daisy, Kate Bush with hounds of love here on BBC Six Music. 01:14:00.790 --> 01:14:01.731 This is Adam and Joe. 01:14:02.251 --> 01:14:06.892 And we are going to give you another chance to hear our extraordinary Song Wars bath songs. 01:14:06.952 --> 01:14:08.292 But first, the jingle! 01:14:09.910 --> 01:14:13.800 It's time for some wars, the war of the songs 01:14:26.747 --> 01:14:31.971 Yes sir, I'm gonna play my song first because we played them in the other order before so we're gonna swap them around. 01:14:31.991 --> 01:14:43.580 Do you anticipate, and I'm not saying this in any kind of prejudicial way, do you anticipate anyone giving you a hard time about like the flight of the concords doing boeys in space and then you doing boeys in the bath? 01:14:45.940 --> 01:14:46.540 Possibly. 01:14:46.780 --> 01:14:50.922 I mean, we've been given a hard time about being similar to Flight of the Conchords before. 01:14:51.143 --> 01:14:52.163 Similar but worse, yeah. 01:14:52.423 --> 01:14:55.805 Yeah, I think, I mean, I've done a lot of Bowie-esque 80s songs. 01:14:55.845 --> 01:14:59.086 That's what I think might be my downfall. 01:14:59.467 --> 01:14:59.727 Right. 01:15:00.007 --> 01:15:03.068 I've done a lot of songs using that kind of voice. 01:15:04.589 --> 01:15:05.610 It's a fun voice. 01:15:06.030 --> 01:15:07.170 It's like that. 01:15:08.011 --> 01:15:10.092 It's very satisfying to do. 01:15:10.532 --> 01:15:15.257 Well, so have I. I mean, I've done loads of songs like this, you know, because it's a fun, especially when you got a cold. 01:15:15.317 --> 01:15:16.678 It's nice to talk. 01:15:16.718 --> 01:15:24.005 I mean, that's why I was excited about your vocoder action, because I thought, wow, he's got a new vocal sound at this stage in the game. 01:15:24.025 --> 01:15:24.385 That's right. 01:15:24.506 --> 01:15:25.547 That's quite an achievement. 01:15:25.807 --> 01:15:26.788 Well, you'll hear that soon. 01:15:26.828 --> 01:15:28.029 But first, here's Joe's. 01:15:28.610 --> 01:15:31.032 This is this is the song that Bowie sings. 01:15:31.092 --> 01:15:33.434 David Bowie sings when he's having a bath. 01:15:33.734 --> 01:15:35.176 Here it is called Bowie Bathtime. 01:15:44.389 --> 01:16:00.391 Brushed up my feet Tonight I deserve a special treat I know a place I can be alone A private palace of enamel and chrome A sacred space where depths are spun And man and water live as one Of scented oils and shampoo A place that's just beside the loo 01:16:21.189 --> 01:16:32.692 If you want to take a bath then please take my advice Be sure you don't drop off to sleep cause it's so warm and nice Don't sit there staring into space just fiddling with your wink 01:16:48.015 --> 01:17:13.506 Water's getting gradually more stinky Splish splosh I'm polishing up my glass spider Splosh splish I'm soaking my serious moon Splosh splish It's time to get out of the bath tubs 01:17:18.727 --> 01:17:26.474 I'm just eating a banana during that and I just got a rotten bit in it. 01:17:26.854 --> 01:17:27.675 Oh, I'm sorry about that. 01:17:27.695 --> 01:17:29.256 I didn't think bananas could go rotten. 01:17:29.376 --> 01:17:32.118 Well, they get brown, but that's the nice... I thought they got more delicious. 01:17:32.138 --> 01:17:33.439 Yeah, that's the sugary stuff there. 01:17:33.459 --> 01:17:34.260 This one's turned. 01:17:34.500 --> 01:17:35.000 Has it? 01:17:35.021 --> 01:17:36.362 Never really tasted that before. 01:17:36.502 --> 01:17:37.202 I'm sorry. 01:17:38.163 --> 01:17:38.924 That's horrible. 01:17:39.124 --> 01:17:41.326 Do you know Bowie's just had a real spider named after him? 01:17:41.806 --> 01:17:42.086 Really? 01:17:42.206 --> 01:17:42.486 Yeah. 01:17:42.667 --> 01:17:49.372 A genuine spider, a German spider specialist told the Observer newspaper he named a new species after Bowie. 01:17:49.632 --> 01:17:56.678 Pete Yeager, who's found 200 new species of arachnids in a decade, says he's named it Heteropoda David Bowie. 01:17:57.398 --> 01:17:59.599 That's a bit like the Mercury music prize, isn't it? 01:17:59.839 --> 01:18:02.379 That guy just wants to associate himself with David Bowie. 01:18:02.659 --> 01:18:04.200 And get a bit of a story going. 01:18:04.220 --> 01:18:04.840 A bit of a boost. 01:18:04.960 --> 01:18:08.421 It's like the Mercury people just want to associate themselves with the latest rapper. 01:18:08.561 --> 01:18:10.241 That's right, isn't it? 01:18:10.421 --> 01:18:11.482 We've taught them a lesson, haven't we? 01:18:11.642 --> 01:18:12.302 We certainly have. 01:18:13.202 --> 01:18:14.442 But listen, that was song number one. 01:18:14.542 --> 01:18:15.803 That was called Bowie Bath Time. 01:18:15.823 --> 01:18:16.663 That's Joe's song. 01:18:16.843 --> 01:18:17.503 You can vote for that. 01:18:17.543 --> 01:18:21.124 Adamandjoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk is the email. 01:18:21.484 --> 01:18:23.345 Or you may prefer to vote for the following song. 01:18:23.525 --> 01:18:25.105 This is Special Bath. 01:18:34.086 --> 01:18:44.633 I love your mucky mind, but your body's also filthy Which I weren't so pleased to find yourself in But what's up with your personal hygiene? 01:18:44.693 --> 01:19:03.606 That's why you haven't had a boyfriend since you were 13 You have the matted hair of an Australian backpacker And in your pants last night I passed up Cheers and a cracker You say you don't like bathing cause you're frightened of the war But it's getting crazier, you know I really think that you're crazy 01:19:03.687 --> 01:19:04.373 you won't come 01:19:48.194 --> 01:20:12.084 So I'll take the boring end, cause I'm your special bar friend Come round to my place tonight, we'll have a special bar I want you looking like Jamila, don't worry my bra There we are, you see it's not so bad is it? 01:20:12.244 --> 01:20:16.626 It's nice, there's just a couple of rules you need to know before we go on 01:21:15.014 --> 01:21:24.498 There you go, that's my song, Adam's song, and it's called Special Bath, and you can vote for both those songs up until midnight next Friday. 01:21:24.518 --> 01:21:25.919 That's right. 01:21:26.239 --> 01:21:26.839 Just email. 01:21:27.099 --> 01:21:39.885 Yeah, you just, you have to email your vote, adamandjo.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk, and we will put them both up on the blog, not so that you can download them, but so that you can listen to them and make sure your vote is fully considered. 01:21:40.345 --> 01:21:42.627 Yeah, and they'll also be available on the podcast as well. 01:21:42.667 --> 01:21:46.130 Of course, you can listen to them there in the context of the whole battle. 01:21:46.150 --> 01:21:49.253 And of course, we'll unveil the winner on next week's show. 01:21:49.293 --> 01:21:50.013 Very exciting. 01:21:50.053 --> 01:21:51.234 And play it in full. 01:21:51.855 --> 01:21:56.298 And the person that wins that will be like the Mercury Music Prize. 01:21:56.919 --> 01:21:57.659 I'll say that again. 01:21:57.920 --> 01:22:00.041 James, for the podcast, you can chop that bit out, right? 01:22:00.342 --> 01:22:01.783 The live listeners don't mind. 01:22:02.489 --> 01:22:04.151 It'll be like the Mercury Music Prize. 01:22:04.171 --> 01:22:05.713 Right? 01:22:06.413 --> 01:22:08.976 And the winner will just, um... Just what? 01:22:09.837 --> 01:22:11.859 Fade away and never be heard again. 01:22:11.879 --> 01:22:15.523 Ooooh, you're cussing the Mercury Music Prize again! 01:22:15.663 --> 01:22:16.624 I was joking, right? 01:22:16.644 --> 01:22:17.465 I'm just joking. 01:22:18.366 --> 01:22:20.048 You know, think of all the people that have won the Mercury. 01:22:20.128 --> 01:22:21.550 The Arctic Monkeys, Pulp. 01:22:21.850 --> 01:22:23.232 They're not flashing the pants, are they? 01:22:23.712 --> 01:22:24.852 What you said was bullies. 01:22:25.032 --> 01:22:26.033 Absolute bullos. 01:22:26.233 --> 01:22:26.693 B.S. 01:22:27.233 --> 01:22:28.594 Here, let's play some real music now. 01:22:28.634 --> 01:22:30.074 This is the dodos with fables. 01:22:30.274 --> 01:22:30.714 Very nice. 01:22:30.854 --> 01:22:32.875 That's the dodos with fables. 01:22:33.275 --> 01:22:36.416 Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 01:22:36.736 --> 01:22:39.517 So what's the last album you bought in a shop, Joe? 01:22:39.537 --> 01:22:40.037 Can you remember? 01:22:40.178 --> 01:22:41.358 Wow, that's a good question. 01:22:41.758 --> 01:22:44.899 I bought the prefab sprout reissue thing. 01:22:45.499 --> 01:22:49.600 Let's save the world with music, but I bought that as a download. 01:22:49.901 --> 01:22:50.381 Oh, did you? 01:22:51.001 --> 01:22:52.862 Trying to think of the last... Physical purchase. 01:22:53.082 --> 01:22:54.382 I can't remember the last time. 01:22:54.402 --> 01:22:55.202 I didn't, I don't think. 01:22:55.222 --> 01:22:56.963 Flip and neck, Tucker. 01:22:57.263 --> 01:22:58.383 It's probably quite an old one. 01:22:58.643 --> 01:22:58.883 Yeah. 01:22:58.963 --> 01:22:59.804 Probably a reissue. 01:22:59.844 --> 01:23:03.065 I bought, I sort of backed up my Prince back catalogue recently. 01:23:03.785 --> 01:23:07.246 Because that's the best thing when you find those classic albums for like three or four quid. 01:23:07.620 --> 01:23:08.601 Yes, that's true. 01:23:08.641 --> 01:23:13.825 Or a whole, like you can buy the whole of Try Call Quest's output for about 15 quid. 01:23:14.506 --> 01:23:15.546 Every single album. 01:23:15.747 --> 01:23:17.048 And they're amazing albums. 01:23:17.208 --> 01:23:17.468 Yeah. 01:23:17.868 --> 01:23:18.649 I know, it's ridiculous. 01:23:18.669 --> 01:23:23.453 You suddenly find Bowie albums and stuff for three quid or whatever all piled up there. 01:23:23.473 --> 01:23:27.516 And that's the other thing is that when the reissues come out and the new digital masters and stuff. 01:23:27.536 --> 01:23:29.177 The unmastered ones go really cheap. 01:23:29.218 --> 01:23:29.598 Yeah. 01:23:30.078 --> 01:23:30.679 That's true. 01:23:30.799 --> 01:23:33.261 And often that's all you need, really, is those ones. 01:23:33.681 --> 01:23:35.803 You've got a little free play for the listeners right now. 01:23:36.143 --> 01:23:36.944 Yeah, good question, though. 01:23:37.577 --> 01:23:38.077 Thanks very much. 01:23:38.097 --> 01:23:40.498 Kept things a little bubbling on. 01:23:40.698 --> 01:23:41.318 Just talking over. 01:23:42.319 --> 01:23:45.380 I was thinking like, you start talking about music, right? 01:23:45.500 --> 01:23:46.920 Because this is like a music show. 01:23:46.980 --> 01:23:48.240 Which is better to introduce your free play. 01:23:48.260 --> 01:23:49.061 Yeah, it all connects. 01:23:49.221 --> 01:23:50.221 So I start talking about music. 01:23:50.261 --> 01:23:51.221 What's the last album you bought? 01:23:51.241 --> 01:23:51.962 That's brilliant, right? 01:23:52.182 --> 01:23:54.102 Then we just get chatting about like shops. 01:23:54.182 --> 01:23:55.983 And it all ties into it. 01:23:56.003 --> 01:23:57.343 And then it sort of pizzas out. 01:23:57.443 --> 01:23:59.984 Because neither of us have really got anything to say. 01:24:00.004 --> 01:24:02.405 I can't remember what it was that we bought. 01:24:02.865 --> 01:24:03.285 That was good. 01:24:03.425 --> 01:24:08.707 Didn't really tie into all the things I was hoping it might tie into, like the death of the music industry and high street shopping in general. 01:24:09.467 --> 01:24:10.607 None of that really happened. 01:24:12.708 --> 01:24:14.168 Instead it just sort of fizzled. 01:24:14.608 --> 01:24:15.188 Here's a free play. 01:24:15.208 --> 01:24:18.569 This is the... Now, how did we agree that we're going to pronounce it? 01:24:18.609 --> 01:24:19.189 The Chai Lights. 01:24:19.229 --> 01:24:19.849 The Chai Lights. 01:24:19.869 --> 01:24:20.550 Like highlights. 01:24:20.650 --> 01:24:21.810 Yeah. 01:24:21.930 --> 01:24:22.850 This is a message. 01:24:23.150 --> 01:24:25.871 Even though you say that they're called the Chai Lights because they're from Chai Cargo. 01:24:26.111 --> 01:24:29.232 I think if you're from Chai Cargo, you say, I'm from Chai Town. 01:24:29.312 --> 01:24:29.772 Chai Town. 01:24:30.012 --> 01:24:30.292 Right. 01:24:30.593 --> 01:24:30.833 Yeah. 01:24:31.073 --> 01:24:31.754 Usher says that. 01:24:31.874 --> 01:24:32.194 Does he? 01:24:32.234 --> 01:24:33.335 Gotta be careful the way you say that. 01:24:33.715 --> 01:24:35.597 This is a message, uh, for Broken Britain. 01:24:36.137 --> 01:24:37.378 For its shattered streets. 01:24:37.658 --> 01:24:38.119 Is it? 01:24:38.319 --> 01:24:40.060 For the terrible class divisions. 01:24:40.261 --> 01:24:41.001 For the shattered streets. 01:24:41.021 --> 01:24:41.582 That exists in Britain. 01:24:41.602 --> 01:24:42.823 With the pyramids buried beneath. 01:24:42.843 --> 01:24:43.143 Yeah. 01:24:43.263 --> 01:24:44.304 This is called We Are Neighbours. 01:24:44.664 --> 01:24:44.945 Yeah? 01:24:45.045 --> 01:24:46.966 We're neighbours, so stop fighting each other! 01:24:46.986 --> 01:24:49.268 It sounded kind of overdriven, that song. 01:24:49.308 --> 01:24:52.171 It was sort of topping out, because it was so exciting, wasn't it? 01:24:52.211 --> 01:24:52.511 Yeah. 01:24:52.711 --> 01:24:52.971 Yeah. 01:24:53.612 --> 01:24:54.773 It's exactly what's happening. 01:24:54.853 --> 01:24:55.854 That was the Chai Lights. 01:24:57.014 --> 01:25:00.135 With We Are Neighbours, this has been Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 01:25:00.175 --> 01:25:03.757 Thanks very much for listening, especially if you've listened since nine. 01:25:03.777 --> 01:25:06.398 Do you think there's anyone who's listened to the whole three hours? 01:25:06.438 --> 01:25:08.038 Maybe someone on a long car journey? 01:25:08.058 --> 01:25:08.819 Couple of people, maybe. 01:25:08.839 --> 01:25:09.559 Somebody in hospital? 01:25:09.579 --> 01:25:10.479 Someone bedridden, yeah. 01:25:10.539 --> 01:25:10.859 Yeah. 01:25:11.120 --> 01:25:12.360 Well, we really hope you've enjoyed it. 01:25:12.380 --> 01:25:13.180 Thanks for sticking with us. 01:25:13.220 --> 01:25:14.541 It's been a pleasure having you along. 01:25:14.981 --> 01:25:38.915 and we hope you'll join us at the same time next week stay tuned for Liz Kershaw who's coming up shortly don't forget you can check out our blog bbc.co.uk forward slash blogs forward slash Adam and Jo and do get in touch during the week via email or via the blog yeah we'd love to hear uh you know we read all your emails and stuff like that and and uh the more the merrier so please do get in touch right now here's Hot Chip with over and over to play us out thanks very much for listening take care love you bye