WEBVTT 00:00.109 --> 00:08.916 Right now, Adam and Jo Hello and welcome to the big British castle It's time for Adam and Jo to broadcast on the radio 00:17.074 --> 00:19.677 Love is like a heatwave by Martha and the Vantellus. 00:19.697 --> 00:21.618 That's supposed to be ironic, James, our producers. 00:21.638 --> 00:29.526 That's supposed to be a little ironic reminder of the fact that he's absolutely brassic outside and he's like well winter now. 00:29.626 --> 00:30.327 Thanks very much. 00:30.367 --> 00:31.308 Summer's totally dead. 00:31.648 --> 00:35.011 Thanks for rubbing that in my face, James, with that choice of song. 00:35.331 --> 00:40.596 Martha and the Vandalas heatwave, like a smack in the mouth first thing on a Saturday morning. 00:40.656 --> 00:41.417 Thanks, James. 00:42.358 --> 00:43.779 This is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music. 00:43.799 --> 00:44.579 Good morning, listeners. 00:44.619 --> 00:45.620 Welcome to the programme. 00:46.820 --> 00:48.341 This week, a very special show. 00:48.381 --> 00:51.122 We've got X Factor boyband JLS in the studio. 00:51.623 --> 01:01.948 For three hours, we'll be asking them what it's like to work with Lamar, talking about their number one single, Beat Again, How That Felt, and of course, exclusive news about their brand new single coming out early November. 01:02.348 --> 01:06.050 That's right, Aston, Marvin, JB and Otis right here in the studio. 01:06.730 --> 01:08.050 And you're behind that, aren't you, Adam? 01:08.511 --> 01:10.292 You really lobbied heavily to get JLS in. 01:11.232 --> 01:15.354 I thought it was important that we have some live bands and some young guests and young people. 01:15.394 --> 01:16.395 No, no, they can't play live. 01:16.555 --> 01:17.575 What do you what the? 01:18.436 --> 01:18.996 How do you mean? 01:19.556 --> 01:22.578 Well, they can play live, but they're not they're not going to play. 01:22.638 --> 01:23.559 Well, actually, they can't. 01:23.859 --> 01:24.819 What are they going to do then? 01:25.239 --> 01:25.720 Just chat. 01:26.823 --> 01:28.545 You know, what's your favourite pasta shape? 01:28.725 --> 01:29.105 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:29.125 --> 01:30.186 You know all the questions I had? 01:30.647 --> 01:31.187 Fun question. 01:31.207 --> 01:33.089 Who's your favourite restoration poet? 01:33.269 --> 01:34.511 Will they at any point cry? 01:34.531 --> 01:35.832 Uh, hopefully. 01:36.052 --> 01:37.173 Yeah, that's the point, right? 01:37.354 --> 01:37.614 Yeah. 01:37.934 --> 01:38.695 We'll make them cry. 01:38.715 --> 01:39.936 We'll make them cry, of course. 01:40.236 --> 01:40.477 Yeah. 01:40.677 --> 01:42.058 That's coming up later in the show. 01:42.098 --> 01:45.642 That's not coming up later in the show, ladies and gentlemen, just to clarify. 01:46.102 --> 01:55.167 Because there might have been some people out there who tuned in for the first time, they'd heard about the show and they thought, hey, this is, wow, this is a good show. 01:55.227 --> 01:56.947 They've got a good lineup. 01:56.967 --> 01:58.728 I've got nothing against JLS, by the way. 01:59.088 --> 01:59.289 No. 01:59.949 --> 02:00.749 I don't know James. 02:01.490 --> 02:03.491 Well, I know James Linden Stanford. 02:03.991 --> 02:05.211 He used to go to school with JLS. 02:05.231 --> 02:05.812 That's who it is. 02:08.553 --> 02:11.214 So what have we got coming up in the show if JLS aren't on? 02:11.574 --> 02:15.115 All sorts of stuff, but we can't be specific about it, that would be wrong. 02:15.775 --> 02:19.716 I tell you what though listeners, I've got one, I've got, I bring it, like I print out a sheet of notes. 02:19.796 --> 02:25.277 I've got an ongoing file on my computer that just says, it's called Six Music Ongoing. 02:26.138 --> 02:30.979 It's a word document and I just pick away at it all week with things and bits and bobs. 02:31.579 --> 02:34.120 I've got like 13 pages of material here. 02:34.280 --> 02:34.620 Have you? 02:34.640 --> 02:35.200 Yeah. 02:35.760 --> 02:37.081 It's mostly made up jokes. 02:37.641 --> 02:39.022 Right, we've got a lot of made up jokes. 02:39.042 --> 02:39.982 That's what we've got coming up. 02:40.303 --> 02:41.263 We've got some made up jokes. 02:41.323 --> 02:49.027 We've got a very huge response to retro textination from last week, like celebrity names that you repurpose in your everyday life. 02:49.047 --> 02:49.868 Celebrity, yes. 02:50.728 --> 02:51.989 What, did you not like the way I said that? 02:52.009 --> 02:53.890 You said it just in a cool, exciting way. 02:53.910 --> 02:54.510 Celebrity. 02:54.530 --> 02:55.151 Celebrity. 02:55.171 --> 02:55.991 Celebrity. 02:56.591 --> 02:57.672 It's like celery or something. 02:57.692 --> 02:59.313 People have been asking about my L bone. 02:59.753 --> 03:01.234 which I was complaining about. 03:01.254 --> 03:08.638 I've had an ongoing problem with my right elbow listeners, which we refer to as my elbow, and it's been incredibly painful. 03:08.898 --> 03:10.239 It's not as bad as it was last week. 03:10.259 --> 03:11.059 My sling is off. 03:11.620 --> 03:12.961 The sling is off. 03:13.681 --> 03:15.302 Ooh, it's on the floor. 03:15.442 --> 03:17.783 That's a very poor bit of pop appropriation. 03:18.744 --> 03:20.585 Because it doesn't sound like the heat, does it? 03:20.605 --> 03:21.225 Nothing like it. 03:21.465 --> 03:22.566 But I'll tell you what I'm going to do, though. 03:22.926 --> 03:24.907 I'm going to take some drugs live on the radio. 03:26.448 --> 03:27.288 That's really bad. 03:27.388 --> 03:30.509 Hey, BBC presenters aren't supposed to do that kind of thing. 03:35.491 --> 03:37.631 Should we play some music now? 03:37.691 --> 03:40.692 Here is a hot new track from a hot new band. 03:40.712 --> 03:42.473 Well, they're not new anymore, but they're still hot. 03:42.753 --> 03:43.753 Vampire Weekend. 03:43.793 --> 03:50.135 This is Horchapa, taken from their album Contra, their new album, which will be released in January 2010, the year we make contact. 03:53.036 --> 03:55.038 And, uh... That's true, isn't it? 03:55.238 --> 03:56.459 It is true, we can think about that. 03:56.479 --> 03:57.900 I had thought about that about next year. 03:58.000 --> 04:00.322 Think about that while this is playing horchata. 04:00.422 --> 04:01.243 How very fashionable. 04:01.744 --> 04:01.984 What? 04:02.244 --> 04:02.464 What? 04:02.544 --> 04:03.105 That record. 04:03.625 --> 04:04.126 In what way? 04:04.386 --> 04:05.947 Don't know, it just got all the quirky sounds. 04:06.427 --> 04:08.349 Well, that's because they're that band. 04:08.729 --> 04:10.171 I know, it's a good thing. 04:10.391 --> 04:13.894 You say it in that sort of jaded way. 04:14.414 --> 04:16.756 You're taking the mic out of them just for sounding good. 04:17.136 --> 04:19.879 What's your problem, Uncle Spiky? 04:20.319 --> 04:36.256 listen it's black squadron command time listeners uh now how do you think it's going black squadron uh the whole black squadron thing well it's a lie it's a thing for the live show isn't it because it's it's you can't really put it in the podcast no so there's a whole section does that make you feel weird about it 04:36.596 --> 04:39.117 No, I think it's a fun thing for the live listeners for Black Squadron. 04:39.137 --> 04:40.478 This is a whole point of Black Squadron. 04:40.498 --> 04:41.859 It's a live only thing. 04:41.899 --> 04:44.100 What do you think of the whole photo command thing? 04:44.140 --> 04:44.961 How that's been going? 04:46.121 --> 04:53.145 I think you are further reducing the amount of people because they can't see the pictures. 04:53.546 --> 04:57.888 However, for the people that send in the pictures and then look at the photo gallery on the blog. 04:57.908 --> 04:58.468 Hang on a second. 04:58.488 --> 05:00.590 Everyone can see the pictures on the gallery. 05:00.610 --> 05:01.110 Yeah, on the blog. 05:01.270 --> 05:01.430 Yeah. 05:01.510 --> 05:03.051 How many people do you think actually go there? 05:03.071 --> 05:03.251 20,000 million. 05:04.992 --> 05:05.832 That's true, isn't it? 05:05.872 --> 05:06.692 That's a lot of people. 05:06.732 --> 05:07.713 So what am I talking about? 05:08.413 --> 05:13.334 Listen, statistically, the first Black Squadron photo command got 41 photo responses. 05:13.354 --> 05:14.254 That was pan hat. 05:15.335 --> 05:21.616 The second command, poltergeist attack, received an extraordinary 121 responses. 05:21.636 --> 05:23.477 That's the one that crashed my email server. 05:23.677 --> 05:27.618 Backwards closed the following week, maintained that figure precisely, 121 photo responses. 05:27.638 --> 05:28.458 Last week, toast bracelet, 05:33.919 --> 05:47.588 70 responses I'm amazed you got that many So I don't know I you know that if one were to make a curve out of that I mean it's it's really dropped off hasn't it last week. 05:47.628 --> 05:49.689 Do you mean a graph a curve? 05:49.709 --> 05:49.749 Oh 05:52.878 --> 05:55.899 I don't know, maybe it's because it was quite sunny last weekend, I'm thinking. 05:56.239 --> 06:00.680 I mean, this weekend is a bit more gloomy looking down here in London anyway. 06:01.300 --> 06:02.560 Maybe we'll get a better response. 06:03.160 --> 06:03.360 Yeah. 06:04.561 --> 06:05.081 So here we go. 06:05.101 --> 06:07.501 So stand by Black Squadron for your photo command. 06:07.641 --> 06:16.363 We're going to give you a kind of a theme and you have to take a photo on that theme and text it to us 64046 or email it adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 06:16.763 --> 06:20.344 Just have to establish some parameters before I issue the command this week. 06:21.184 --> 06:25.686 Do we on this programme use the word toilet, loo or lavatory? 06:26.306 --> 06:29.868 Very, very seldom, unless it's completely important. 06:30.148 --> 06:34.410 But if we had to describe that area, which of those words would we use? 06:34.430 --> 06:35.711 Because it's something people get very... 06:36.511 --> 06:36.731 Oh yes. 06:36.751 --> 06:38.432 Very hot under the collar about, don't they? 06:38.472 --> 06:44.335 Some people would never say toilet, some people would think it's disgustingly, you know, trashy to say loo. 06:44.496 --> 06:47.817 I'm upper middle class, stroke, royal. 06:48.258 --> 06:49.518 So I would say loo. 06:49.858 --> 06:51.099 You would say loo? 06:51.239 --> 06:51.499 Yeah. 06:51.659 --> 06:53.100 Is that what the royals say? 06:53.260 --> 06:54.221 Yeah, that's what we say. 06:54.241 --> 06:57.183 And then if you were to describe what you use in there, 06:58.623 --> 07:01.564 Uh, would you describe it as paper, tissue or roll? 07:01.864 --> 07:03.305 Oh, no, we say poopy paper. 07:04.205 --> 07:05.485 Do you say poopy paper? 07:05.585 --> 07:06.346 Poo-poo paper. 07:07.066 --> 07:07.666 Or TP. 07:08.006 --> 07:09.226 No, TP? 07:09.487 --> 07:09.727 Yeah. 07:09.767 --> 07:10.587 What do you really say? 07:11.187 --> 07:12.547 I, I, do we do say TP? 07:13.028 --> 07:13.848 You say TP? 07:13.948 --> 07:14.408 Oh, I see. 07:14.448 --> 07:15.548 You just initialize it. 07:15.708 --> 07:15.888 Yeah. 07:16.469 --> 07:16.729 Okay. 07:16.749 --> 07:17.829 Well, that doesn't really help me. 07:18.249 --> 07:18.449 Why? 07:18.829 --> 07:19.970 Because I need to describe. 07:19.990 --> 07:21.330 Oh, no, we'll say TP. 07:21.530 --> 07:22.491 It's a bit abstract. 07:22.651 --> 07:23.491 Well, Lavi paper. 07:23.671 --> 07:24.191 What's wrong with that? 07:25.211 --> 07:25.992 Lavi paper. 07:26.332 --> 07:26.592 Okay. 07:27.992 --> 07:29.493 Alright, Black Squadron, stand by. 07:31.154 --> 07:39.458 Sorry mate, we're going to fire off a track after this and I'm going to tell you folks that it's going to be Emmy the Great with We Almost Had a Baby. 07:39.738 --> 07:44.921 That will be firing off as soon as Joe issues the command, so stand by Black Squadron. 07:45.961 --> 07:48.222 Okay, I'm worried about the command. 07:51.345 --> 07:52.186 It's gonna happen. 07:52.286 --> 07:54.147 For reasons I explained earlier. 07:54.308 --> 07:55.348 Do you think it's gonna be alright? 07:55.589 --> 07:56.549 Because it's gonna be fine. 07:56.690 --> 07:59.832 It involves lavatorial props, so you're worried it's gonna go into them. 07:59.852 --> 08:01.153 People will misinterpret it. 08:01.253 --> 08:01.514 Sure. 08:01.714 --> 08:04.616 Well, that's something that we can, you know, it's only gonna affect us. 08:05.117 --> 08:05.617 Okay. 08:07.819 --> 08:10.301 Here's the Black Squadron command for this week. 08:10.361 --> 08:10.801 Here it is. 08:12.903 --> 08:14.865 Lavi paper Egyptian mummy attack. 08:15.458 --> 08:16.539 That's lovely stuff, isn't it? 08:16.780 --> 08:19.703 Emmy the Great with, we almost had a baby. 08:20.844 --> 08:24.528 And she is known as Emily Moss. 08:24.869 --> 08:25.669 That's her real name. 08:26.010 --> 08:27.231 She's known as Emmy the Great. 08:27.592 --> 08:30.735 She was born in 1984, which makes her five. 08:31.696 --> 08:32.337 Five years old. 08:32.757 --> 08:34.658 And she's known by her stage name as Emmy the Great. 08:34.718 --> 08:36.780 She's a London-based singer-songwriter. 08:36.860 --> 08:38.061 I'm just reading the notes. 08:38.141 --> 08:39.261 You're doing a very good job. 08:39.301 --> 08:40.022 It's informative. 08:41.002 --> 08:48.327 That track was from her album First Love, released earlier this year on the Close Harbour label. 08:48.347 --> 08:49.568 There's a little photo for her here. 08:49.608 --> 08:50.909 It doesn't do her justice, does it? 08:51.289 --> 08:52.730 Well, she's uncommonly attractive. 08:52.750 --> 08:53.270 She really is. 08:53.330 --> 08:56.791 She came and played some music for us when we were at Glastonbury. 08:57.351 --> 08:58.012 She's beautiful. 08:58.252 --> 09:00.673 She is absolutely great in every conceivable way. 09:01.133 --> 09:06.375 Now, we've got a free play coming up, or I've got a free play, and I've chosen a prefab sprout track. 09:06.395 --> 09:08.796 You know, Dermot O'Leary plays a lot of prefab sprouts. 09:08.816 --> 09:09.136 Does he? 09:09.456 --> 09:10.517 On his Radio 2 show. 09:10.597 --> 09:12.277 Well, it's the Irish connection, right? 09:12.758 --> 09:14.398 Yes, I suppose that's true. 09:14.638 --> 09:15.759 Is that a clever thing to say? 09:16.039 --> 09:18.480 Is he actually Irish, though, Paddy McAloon? 09:19.100 --> 09:19.901 I would have thought so. 09:20.081 --> 09:20.501 You reckon? 09:20.701 --> 09:22.022 Yeah. 09:22.222 --> 09:24.103 I don't know if he definitely is. 09:24.763 --> 09:28.305 I suppose you might be right. 09:28.565 --> 09:30.486 But we're old prefab sprout fans, right? 09:30.787 --> 09:31.007 Yeah. 09:31.507 --> 09:38.511 And particularly the first two albums, Steve McQueen, which is the second one, and the first one is... What's it called, the first one? 09:38.711 --> 09:39.131 Swoon. 09:39.211 --> 09:40.532 Swoon, of course it is, yeah. 09:40.932 --> 09:45.735 I mean, those are two of the best albums ever made, you know, to say nothing of them being... 09:46.275 --> 09:48.656 Young people might not know who they are, but they're a terrific band. 09:48.676 --> 09:56.360 They're one of those bands whose singles really never were a particularly brilliant indication of how great their album material was, right? 09:56.400 --> 09:56.760 Yes. 09:56.920 --> 10:00.722 If you just heard the things that charted, you might get the wrong end of the stick. 10:00.802 --> 10:03.343 Well, there's two very different types of prefab sprout. 10:03.363 --> 10:06.985 There's one quite weird, angular, indie, poppy one, right? 10:07.385 --> 10:12.368 And then there's quite a sugary, some would say overproduced prefab sprout. 10:12.848 --> 10:15.391 And I, you know, I like both, personally, don't you? 10:15.631 --> 10:16.832 You love Overproduced Sugar. 10:16.852 --> 10:17.873 I really do. 10:18.334 --> 10:22.097 I'm going to play an Overproduced Sugary number right now from one of their albums. 10:22.438 --> 10:22.718 Cool. 10:23.078 --> 10:29.384 And this is from, I think it's from Langley Park to Memphis, their album. 10:30.866 --> 10:32.127 It doesn't sound very fun. 10:33.248 --> 10:34.689 Just sounds a bit shaky, fact-wise. 10:34.709 --> 10:35.610 Fact-wise. 10:36.070 --> 10:36.650 I can check. 10:36.750 --> 10:40.593 Why not just say that once at the end of the record, tell people what album it's from? 10:40.613 --> 10:41.414 Yeah, I suppose so. 10:41.714 --> 10:49.759 But here's the thing, that we got an invitation, or not an invitation, but the suggestion that maybe myself and Joe might like to interview Paddy McAloon. 10:49.779 --> 10:52.261 He's famously reclusive as well as the other thing. 10:52.501 --> 10:53.381 Yeah. 10:54.082 --> 10:57.884 And so we were sort of unsure as to whether we should do it or not. 10:58.825 --> 11:02.788 I think maybe it's a bad idea, like, because you shouldn't meet your heroes. 11:03.649 --> 11:04.530 And what could go wrong? 11:05.070 --> 11:18.745 Well he I mean I think I get the feeling he's just someone who's not particularly at ease with being interviewed and being a public figure and What could go wrong is that he might find it very but we're not very professional are we we wouldn't sort of ease over those bumps? 11:18.805 --> 11:23.631 Would we know I mean it would be a bit of a marriage made in hell wouldn't it I 11:24.207 --> 11:30.695 Yeah, yeah, it would be strange because we'd be uncomfortable and the onus on us would be to be silly and... Would it? 11:31.015 --> 11:31.516 I don't think. 11:31.596 --> 11:32.977 Why would they ask us to interview him? 11:33.538 --> 11:33.939 I don't know. 11:33.959 --> 11:35.320 If they didn't want it to be ridiculous. 11:35.380 --> 11:35.901 You're right. 11:37.142 --> 11:38.304 Anyway, we'll figure it out. 11:38.604 --> 11:40.186 But here's Prefab Sprout. 11:40.206 --> 11:44.331 This is a track called Knock On Wood from Langley Park to Memphis is the album it came from. 11:44.471 --> 11:46.994 Holy moly, we're going to be at the elected prom. 11:47.474 --> 11:48.075 Fleetingly. 11:48.435 --> 11:48.916 Fleetingly. 11:49.156 --> 11:50.557 What time are we on? 11:50.577 --> 11:51.939 12 noon on a Thursday. 11:51.959 --> 11:52.259 Yeah. 11:52.740 --> 11:53.721 The hottest slot-est. 11:53.861 --> 11:54.802 The biggest slot. 11:55.102 --> 11:56.123 Well done Black Squadron. 11:56.163 --> 12:01.028 It's been an extraordinary response to the command this morning which was Egyptian mummy 12:02.209 --> 12:25.066 Lavi paper attack or something and what a response I mean for about the first three or four minutes of that Emmy the Great track that's the track we played isn't it out of the command there was nothing mm-hmm and I thought oh god this is a disaster but then I literally chatted to you for about 30 seconds literally did literally did turn back to my computer desktop and there were scores 12:26.072 --> 12:30.915 particularly good one here has come in from... Oh no, Phil! 12:31.616 --> 12:32.476 How much is a score? 12:32.656 --> 12:34.197 Is it a score 12? 12:34.798 --> 12:34.197 10. 12:34.818 --> 12:37.280 10. 12:35.178 --> 12:37.280 Yeah, so scores plural is like units of 10. 12:37.360 --> 12:39.481 How many do you think a score is? 12:39.501 --> 12:39.481 20. 12:40.422 --> 12:41.202 Why would a score be 20? 12:42.663 --> 12:43.604 What sort of a unit is 20? 12:43.764 --> 12:44.944 We don't know anything. 12:45.564 --> 12:46.045 I know, it's 10. 12:46.465 --> 12:47.565 You reckon? 12:47.625 --> 12:52.208 Yeah, it's, you're just, I'm surrounded by ignoramuses who are undermining my confidence. 12:52.228 --> 12:53.889 You're the king of the ignoramuses. 12:53.909 --> 12:55.149 What are you talking about? 12:55.169 --> 12:57.550 I've got a B in O level maths. 12:57.630 --> 12:57.870 A B! 12:59.011 --> 13:00.793 B. I know what a score is. 13:01.073 --> 13:03.375 Now I've lost the flipping text. 13:03.395 --> 13:04.396 It's a good show, isn't it? 13:04.416 --> 13:05.417 The picture. 13:05.437 --> 13:06.477 Glad you tuned in, aren't you? 13:06.858 --> 13:08.599 Well, there's very good ones of a cat. 13:08.619 --> 13:10.741 It's a score. 13:11.582 --> 13:13.984 Paddy McAloon is definitely Irish, I reckon. 13:14.764 --> 13:16.665 We've got a listener saying he's from Stockton-on-Tees. 13:17.406 --> 13:19.267 What the listener is from Stockton-on-Tees. 13:19.467 --> 13:21.448 Didn't you say the listener said Paddy McAloon? 13:21.468 --> 13:22.148 Paddy McAloon. 13:22.168 --> 13:29.152 But you know, we can't just accept anything anyone sends us in as fact, just because it's an opinion that isn't ours. 13:29.172 --> 13:30.773 We get lied to so often. 13:30.973 --> 13:36.696 All right, look, I tell you what, this whole thing about a score being 10, if I'm right about that... Let's figure this out. 13:36.716 --> 13:37.597 Okay, point one. 13:37.857 --> 13:39.177 Is Paddy McAloon Irish? 13:39.277 --> 13:39.938 Point one, right? 13:39.958 --> 13:41.959 We need some corroboration, ladies and gentlemen. 13:42.459 --> 13:44.039 Point two, what is a score? 13:44.220 --> 13:44.780 Is it 10? 13:45.140 --> 13:45.660 Is it 20? 13:46.020 --> 13:50.861 Okay, listen, if a score is 10 though, I am always right about everything, okay? 13:50.881 --> 13:52.902 And there can be no more questioning my authority. 13:52.942 --> 13:54.362 We're going to make this the lynchpin. 13:54.622 --> 13:54.962 Really? 13:55.042 --> 13:56.263 Yeah, this is the example. 13:56.303 --> 14:00.524 This is the, um, you know, I can't finish the sentence even. 14:01.284 --> 14:05.565 This is the Rosetta Stone of your kingship of the right kingdom. 14:05.785 --> 14:05.925 Right. 14:05.965 --> 14:08.726 You can never question my authority again if a score is 10. 14:10.506 --> 14:11.847 What was your stance on Macallune? 14:12.727 --> 14:16.149 I'm just curious to know whether he... I don't know if he is actually Irish. 14:16.269 --> 14:20.831 I mean, I feel like he's probably from... His ancestry is probably Irish, isn't it? 14:20.851 --> 14:24.212 But I don't think he himself is born and raised in Ireland, is he? 14:24.313 --> 14:24.813 I'm not sure. 14:25.693 --> 14:26.954 But we need your help, listeners. 14:27.454 --> 14:28.315 And what was the other point? 14:28.695 --> 14:29.575 Wasn't there one more thing? 14:29.996 --> 14:31.116 What, that we're not sure about? 14:31.176 --> 14:31.436 Yeah. 14:31.577 --> 14:32.977 I know, just those two so far. 14:33.298 --> 14:35.299 But we're only like half an hour into the programme. 14:35.319 --> 14:36.319 I'm sure there'll be more. 14:36.780 --> 14:37.980 There'll be an awful lot more. 14:38.621 --> 14:39.201 I'm certain. 14:40.001 --> 14:44.904 So yes, we said earlier on that we're going to be at the Electric Proms on Wednesday. 14:45.084 --> 14:45.945 No, Thursday, isn't it? 14:46.465 --> 14:52.747 and we will be announcing later in the show who the winners of our Electric Proms Song Wars competition are. 14:52.847 --> 14:58.029 Myself and Jo have picked, out of all the entries we got, just two acts, right? 14:58.269 --> 15:00.710 Yeah, one to represent your song, one to represent my song. 15:00.890 --> 15:03.011 Yeah, and in the end, how many entries did we get? 15:03.551 --> 15:06.912 Well, there were 17 Sontum of Qualys entries, I think. 15:07.072 --> 15:08.693 How many Nutty Room entries were there? 15:08.993 --> 15:11.834 Around the same, maybe 20 or something. 15:12.934 --> 15:16.817 And a pretty high standard in the end. 15:18.077 --> 15:19.258 Why are you saying it like that? 15:19.278 --> 15:20.499 Because it's not true. 15:21.900 --> 15:22.560 How rude. 15:22.640 --> 15:23.381 No, I'm joking. 15:23.421 --> 15:24.381 It was a high standard. 15:24.421 --> 15:31.946 I tell you, it divided very sharply between really pretty disturbingly mad and really very, very good. 15:32.366 --> 15:41.272 But what I did was, because we weren't exactly overwhelmed with entries, right, I was able to go on to the YouTube channels and leave personal comments for them. 15:42.052 --> 15:42.953 Insulting comments? 15:43.734 --> 15:45.797 Well, no, I had to tread carefully in some areas. 15:46.057 --> 15:46.298 Yeah. 15:46.738 --> 15:53.207 Because some of the entries we got did look like the work of, you know, people from... The mentile. 15:53.447 --> 15:56.771 Yeah, yeah, the kind of people that Dexter might go after. 15:58.914 --> 16:04.837 But I left comments for all of them, and we'll be finding out who has won that competition later on in the program. 16:04.857 --> 16:06.598 And I've made some comments as well. 16:06.618 --> 16:12.481 I think some stuff that we kind of wrote up is going to be put on our blog during or after the show. 16:12.601 --> 16:14.442 So check out the Adam and Jo blog. 16:14.743 --> 16:19.385 I should say as well, I was looking out there for the first full body toilet paper mummy. 16:19.565 --> 16:19.745 Oh, yeah. 16:19.945 --> 16:23.807 I think that's very impressive because it's quite hard to wrangle toilet paper. 16:23.847 --> 16:25.268 It does tend to rip, doesn't it? 16:25.308 --> 16:26.669 Without a partner, it's very hard. 16:26.849 --> 16:52.604 yeah or even with especially when you're wrapping it around the whole body and often if you when you try and tie it off the perforations let you down yeah and if it's a bit damp as well it tends to why would it be damp oh it doesn't matter it's just gone 9 30 here on bc6 music it's time for the news Lily Allen with the fear this is Adam and Jo here on BBC six music welcome listeners very nice to have you along on this quite chilly Saturday morning 16:53.284 --> 16:59.368 We hope, maybe, that we'll help to warm your cock-hills with our radio rubbish. 16:59.749 --> 17:07.534 So, listen, earlier on, we were talking about the fact that Joe was convinced to score... Was 20. 17:07.874 --> 17:08.014 Was 10. 17:08.435 --> 17:08.915 Was 10. 17:09.395 --> 17:13.258 And I really hinged my... I pinned my reputation on that one. 17:13.278 --> 17:17.801 I said that, you know, if I get this right, then I'm going to be right about everything. 17:18.021 --> 17:18.722 He wanted it for me. 17:19.002 --> 17:20.603 It's so convinced, was he, that he was right. 17:21.203 --> 17:33.732 I got a B in O level maths, he boasted, that he insisted the result of the answer be the linchpin stroke Rosetta Stone of his kingship of the kingdom of rightness hereafter. 17:33.832 --> 17:35.253 We've had various emails. 17:35.493 --> 17:39.356 Joe Tiltman says, dear correct Adam and foolish Joe, a score is 20. 17:40.997 --> 17:44.319 Ah, he says something quite rude there that I can't read about me. 17:45.119 --> 17:45.879 Ken Pearce. 17:46.159 --> 17:47.340 I'm afraid Joe is wrong. 17:47.840 --> 17:48.921 A score is 20. 17:49.301 --> 17:54.283 Abraham Lincoln famously used the phrase in his Gettysburg address in 1863. 17:54.803 --> 17:55.664 Nigel Lupton. 17:55.864 --> 17:56.844 Just thought I'd let you know. 17:56.864 --> 18:02.226 A score is 20, as in the saying three score years and 10 to describe someone who's 70. 18:03.687 --> 18:04.167 Years old. 18:04.247 --> 18:05.448 I could go on for a while. 18:05.468 --> 18:07.429 There's a lot of emails. 18:07.529 --> 18:09.810 So did you just not... Gavin Graham. 18:09.930 --> 18:12.572 While I'm at it, 20 big lols. 18:14.113 --> 18:18.035 What happened in the O-Level Maths class then was that... Well, it was a B, wasn't it? 18:18.375 --> 18:21.597 And it didn't have any questions about score, what a score was. 18:21.657 --> 18:27.280 So you lucked out in a way that you got a B. Paddy McAloon, on the other hand, is from County Durham. 18:28.020 --> 18:29.621 That's not Ireland. 18:29.681 --> 18:30.962 That's not Ireland, no. 18:31.562 --> 18:33.363 No, that's T-side. 18:33.883 --> 18:34.583 Yeah, exactly. 18:34.623 --> 18:35.484 That's T-side. 18:36.384 --> 18:39.665 So, you know... Double strikes against cornballs there, surely. 18:40.085 --> 18:41.226 That's not very good, is it? 18:41.546 --> 18:54.331 I mean, I'm personally delighted about the score because you were so confident and you really did insist on basing the whole level of respect and whether we had to bow down and worship you and stuff. 18:54.351 --> 18:55.331 I can't argue with that. 18:55.371 --> 18:55.811 It's true. 18:55.831 --> 18:58.692 Fiesta! 18:59.353 --> 19:00.093 Yay! 19:02.560 --> 19:04.603 In your face, cornballs! 19:05.383 --> 19:07.926 It's a twenty-nine out of ten, you idiot! 19:07.946 --> 19:08.267 Oh! 19:08.387 --> 19:09.268 Oh, that felt good. 19:13.061 --> 19:13.441 Yeah. 19:13.942 --> 19:16.323 Well, I haven't got a leg to stand on, have I? 19:16.343 --> 19:18.165 Dear Adam and Joe, a score is 20. 19:18.885 --> 19:21.867 Everyone seems to have heard of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. 19:22.327 --> 19:23.848 Who is this Abraham Lincoln? 19:24.389 --> 19:26.490 What is this Gettysburg Address? 19:26.550 --> 19:28.091 I've heard of Abraham Lincoln. 19:28.352 --> 19:29.292 Could they all be wrong? 19:29.652 --> 19:31.754 Is there still a chance that everyone could be wrong? 19:31.794 --> 19:33.135 Yeah, there's always a chance. 19:33.295 --> 19:35.056 I mean, it could just be a coincidence. 19:35.116 --> 19:37.678 Listen, I'm celebrating, but I'm even stupider than you are. 19:38.278 --> 19:40.759 So, you know, I'm just getting my jollies where I can. 19:40.999 --> 19:42.540 Here's some great music for you now, listeners. 19:42.940 --> 19:43.600 Wild Beasts. 19:43.680 --> 19:45.041 This is All the King's Men. 19:45.241 --> 19:45.801 Love it. 19:46.121 --> 19:48.402 That's Wild Beasts with All the King's Men. 19:48.442 --> 19:51.083 It's my ambition to be in a Wild Beasts video, Joe. 19:51.343 --> 19:52.484 That's achievable, surely. 19:52.844 --> 19:53.204 You reckon? 19:53.244 --> 19:54.265 I mean, they're a big band. 19:54.405 --> 20:02.988 They've got posters all over the underground just absolutely covered in stars and rave reviews for their album, Two Dancers, which is thought by many to be the album of the year. 20:03.008 --> 20:04.849 You should run out and get it if you don't already own it. 20:05.949 --> 20:10.011 And so they could pick and choose, I would think, because they're so hot right now. 20:10.371 --> 20:11.432 But I would love to be in that. 20:11.612 --> 20:23.158 What I'm thinking is, because I am the polar opposite of the lead singer, I don't know his name, but he's a rakishly good-looking, thin, young man with a little moustachio and that amazing voice, that falsetto. 20:24.199 --> 20:25.679 Like, I could lip-sync, right? 20:26.300 --> 20:31.583 Don't you think it'd be quite good doing a little bit of hairy, squat-man lip-syncing? 20:32.683 --> 20:33.723 Yeah, that would be very good. 20:33.763 --> 20:37.064 Didn't you do that in a video Garth made? 20:37.164 --> 20:37.664 That's true. 20:37.744 --> 20:42.645 I did a similar thing for The Wannadies, yeah, for a track called Little By Little. 20:43.025 --> 20:44.406 Yeah, that would be good. 20:45.686 --> 20:46.586 That's my dream. 20:46.966 --> 20:48.867 I'm hoping it'll come true before Christmas. 20:48.907 --> 20:50.447 I'll let you know if it does, listeners. 20:50.767 --> 20:53.328 But right now, I think we should get into retro textination. 20:53.988 --> 20:54.908 Let's have the jingle jongle. 20:55.623 --> 21:10.194 I like to listen to Adam and John But I listen to the podcast, not the live show I used to feel a cute frustration Cause I couldn't join in with Tex the Nation 21:10.834 --> 21:25.462 But now my troubles have disappeared Because rent protects the nation's here And now my letter might be read out Instead of thrown in the trash and forgotten about 21:27.421 --> 21:34.687 So last week's Text the Nation listeners was all about repurposing celebrity names, kind of mangling them for daily use. 21:34.767 --> 21:38.309 And to be honest, it didn't go spectacularly during the live show. 21:38.690 --> 21:40.051 We kind of got a few good ones. 21:40.111 --> 21:42.853 Susan's surround sound, I remember being a very good one. 21:43.233 --> 21:44.354 I'm going to be using that one. 21:44.594 --> 21:46.375 The rest of them were frankly not Boris Goodenough. 21:46.575 --> 21:48.837 But during the week, it really took off. 21:48.997 --> 21:49.658 Yeah. 21:49.698 --> 21:52.580 The emails came flooding in and we've got loads of good ones now. 21:52.820 --> 21:57.503 Sorry to go on a tiny tangent, but can I just say it was nice to hear trash back in the jingle there. 21:58.024 --> 21:59.445 Was that the trash version again? 21:59.625 --> 21:59.785 Yeah. 22:00.285 --> 22:02.908 Yeah, well, that's divided our listeners as well, hasn't it? 22:02.968 --> 22:04.409 Some people love the bin version. 22:04.990 --> 22:06.251 Some people like the trash version. 22:06.271 --> 22:07.592 There are a lot of people. 22:07.892 --> 22:08.993 Some people think a score is 20. 22:09.113 --> 22:11.496 Some people think it's 10. 22:11.876 --> 22:13.718 It's just impossible to please everybody. 22:13.858 --> 22:16.160 Some people think... When there is no right or wrong. 22:16.180 --> 22:19.583 It's from Ireland, in County Durham in Ireland. 22:20.924 --> 22:24.886 I mean, truth is, you know, it's an abstract concept, isn't it? 22:24.966 --> 22:25.927 It's a flexible friend. 22:26.027 --> 22:26.567 Exactly. 22:26.907 --> 22:27.248 Yeah. 22:27.388 --> 22:31.070 So here are the best text the nations we got during the week. 22:31.570 --> 22:32.931 Here's one from Simon in London. 22:33.391 --> 22:34.111 Hi, Adam and Jo. 22:34.411 --> 22:40.195 Listening to your text the nation on repurposing famous names, I thought of a phrase we used to say at uni a lot. 22:40.655 --> 22:46.318 When something was particularly contentious, rather than labeling it controversial, we would say that it was controversial. 22:47.959 --> 22:49.860 after the start of Grease and Face Off. 22:49.940 --> 22:51.441 Take care, Simon in London. 22:51.781 --> 22:52.542 That's good, isn't it? 22:52.682 --> 22:53.583 Yeah, that's very good. 22:53.763 --> 22:55.424 Here's a couple from Jane right now. 22:56.104 --> 22:58.766 She says, here are some fun sprinkles for the show. 22:59.166 --> 22:59.827 That's nice, isn't it? 22:59.847 --> 23:01.848 We love fun sprinkles on our show. 23:01.868 --> 23:04.010 But then she says, don't get too excited about it. 23:04.170 --> 23:04.810 Oh, no. 23:05.290 --> 23:08.192 So she builds it up with the fun sprinkles, then she whips the sprinkles away. 23:08.673 --> 23:09.673 She knows us so well. 23:09.693 --> 23:10.334 She really does. 23:10.454 --> 23:11.535 How many sprinkles are there? 23:11.775 --> 23:13.016 I mean, hundreds and thousands. 23:13.256 --> 23:13.616 Really? 23:13.736 --> 23:13.996 Yeah. 23:14.417 --> 23:15.457 How many scores? 23:16.858 --> 23:31.711 Four score and another four score and then several more scores She says if you have a long hard day at work and you have a drink when you get in that's called a Mike Baldwin or a Baldwin for short Ideally, it would be a whiskey pulled straight into a tumblr. 23:31.731 --> 23:32.592 Why is it called that? 23:32.612 --> 23:38.697 Well, this is more about What's associated with the names than the actual names themselves. 23:38.757 --> 23:40.579 So is she straying outside the rules there? 23:40.599 --> 23:40.639 Oh 23:41.434 --> 23:43.115 Well I don't even understand it at all. 23:43.135 --> 23:46.377 Mike Baldwin, I think, he's a soap character who likes a drink, right? 23:46.397 --> 23:47.537 I don't know. 23:47.817 --> 23:54.861 She goes on, if I have a glass of wine while I'm cooking dinner, this is called a Keith Floyd, God rest his soul, or a Floyd for short. 23:55.602 --> 23:56.682 Love, love, love the show. 23:57.002 --> 24:01.185 So she's associating it with like what they were associating with. 24:01.205 --> 24:02.545 That's not within rules. 24:02.585 --> 24:03.386 It's an interesting choice. 24:04.830 --> 24:05.890 I shouldn't have chosen that one. 24:05.910 --> 24:07.011 It's a good, no, it's good. 24:07.051 --> 24:08.611 I guess I, yeah. 24:08.691 --> 24:11.072 I was seduced by the sprinkles. 24:11.092 --> 24:12.033 That was a good opening. 24:12.573 --> 24:13.253 How about this one? 24:13.373 --> 24:14.473 John from Stockport. 24:14.914 --> 24:20.095 Every time my girlfriend puts Savlon on her lips, I always say, putting some Jimmy Savlon. 24:22.276 --> 24:23.977 You even said it like Savlon. 24:23.997 --> 24:24.697 Well, exactly. 24:24.917 --> 24:26.338 I think I did a good job there. 24:26.458 --> 24:27.098 Jimmy Savlon. 24:27.378 --> 24:28.839 Yeah, I'm recovering. 24:28.980 --> 24:35.746 Here's one from Mo, and I think this is within the rules of the retro-textination. 24:36.106 --> 24:41.671 When I think my four-month-old daughter may have done a poo, I say to her, let's go and check your allender bottom. 24:42.432 --> 24:43.533 Makes me chuckle anyway. 24:43.553 --> 24:43.874 Thank you, Mo. 24:43.914 --> 24:44.395 That's good. 24:44.435 --> 24:44.895 That's good. 24:45.756 --> 24:47.278 Here's one from Claire in Sheffield. 24:47.678 --> 24:47.939 Hi. 24:48.459 --> 24:53.706 When I'm leaving work, I say I'm off, which mutated to I'm offski and has now settled it. 24:53.846 --> 24:54.867 I'm Darren Aronofski. 24:55.168 --> 24:56.449 That's a good one. 24:56.469 --> 25:00.414 I don't think anyone at work knows who Darren Aronofski is, but they just accept it. 25:00.854 --> 25:01.776 Claire from Sheffield. 25:02.516 --> 25:03.337 More fool then. 25:03.917 --> 25:05.358 Here's one from Mark in Godalming. 25:05.698 --> 25:12.703 He says, I know you've probably stopped doing the famous names repurposing thing, but I just remembered a good one that me and my wife do. 25:13.203 --> 25:14.083 So it's not too late. 25:14.524 --> 25:23.589 When you're getting the kids dressed and you're putting their tops on and you ask them to hold their arm out so you can get the sleeve on with greater ease, you sometimes say, put your arm in. 25:24.250 --> 25:25.791 But we say, idiom in. 25:26.471 --> 25:26.811 Nice. 25:27.091 --> 25:27.632 That's good. 25:27.692 --> 25:32.675 And then he says, do you think the former president of Uganda's name is an appropriate one to use when dressing a five-year-old? 25:34.196 --> 25:34.796 I would say no. 25:35.156 --> 25:37.498 Well, I'm from Paul in Beckenham. 25:38.598 --> 25:48.144 If I wake up in the morning and I'm going to visit the parents, or maybe a semi-important business appointment, I might gaze in the mirror, rub my chin, turn to my lovely wife, and ask her, do I need a Hugo Chavez? 25:49.465 --> 25:53.087 Many's the night when I've set my alarm thinking, do I need a Hugo Chavez tomorrow? 25:53.547 --> 26:00.432 In fact, the word shave has lost all meaning for me now, and when I hear the name of the president of Venezuela on the TV or radio, I think about my chin. 26:00.592 --> 26:04.375 But then you have to go for the soft C-H, I would call him Hugo. 26:04.555 --> 26:05.796 A Chavez. 26:06.236 --> 26:07.097 Hugo Chavez. 26:07.797 --> 26:10.339 Well, he's manipulating it there for his own purposes. 26:10.399 --> 26:11.539 Typical of Chavez. 26:12.460 --> 26:12.920 Exactly. 26:13.721 --> 26:14.862 Those are pretty good though, don't you think? 26:14.942 --> 26:15.522 A good result? 26:15.622 --> 26:16.543 Have you got some more there? 26:16.843 --> 26:17.583 I've got one or two. 26:17.624 --> 26:19.645 I've read out all the best ones, to be perfectly honest. 26:19.665 --> 26:20.765 Oh, I've got some good ones. 26:20.886 --> 26:21.426 Give us another. 26:21.706 --> 26:23.047 Here's one from Lizzie Finn. 26:23.347 --> 26:37.696 When I'm feeling, and I do this one as well, I bet you do and I bet a lot of people do, when I'm feeling bogged down a bit with too many boring or mundane things to do at work, which stopped me from doing something more interesting, I'll sometimes say to my boyfriend, I was pretty Peter Bogdanovich today at work. 26:38.056 --> 26:38.656 That's good. 26:39.417 --> 26:39.957 Very good. 26:40.257 --> 26:41.518 I've been Peter Bogdanovich. 26:41.658 --> 26:45.701 I was going to make a Peter Bogdanovich joke on the blog. 26:46.581 --> 26:48.642 I was going to call it the Peter Blogg-Danovich. 26:48.982 --> 26:49.282 Nice. 26:49.883 --> 26:53.284 But then I wondered whether anyone would understand what I was saying. 26:53.304 --> 26:53.784 Of course. 26:54.284 --> 26:55.945 No one under 30 would, probably. 26:56.305 --> 27:00.207 Here's a final one, and this came in from a couple of people who do the same thing. 27:01.367 --> 27:06.009 James and Devon and Stephen McLaughlin, they both say, cats later, as opposed to catch you later. 27:06.469 --> 27:06.969 That's good. 27:07.049 --> 27:08.310 That's quite a classic one, I think. 27:08.450 --> 27:08.630 Yeah. 27:09.370 --> 27:11.111 Here's another EastEnders-related one. 27:11.251 --> 27:13.412 Cats later, is he in EastEnders, right? 27:13.652 --> 27:14.272 I think so. 27:14.312 --> 27:14.853 Oh my God. 27:16.313 --> 27:18.454 This is from Mark Redman, Reedman. 27:18.774 --> 27:31.581 Dear Adam and Jo, my wife and I used to enjoy playing on the tenuous rhyme between escutcheon, the little protective metal disc that covers a keyhole, and Martine McCutcheon, the actor who played Tiffany in EastEnders. 27:31.841 --> 27:38.245 When approaching the door, we would brandish the key and say, excuse me, Martine, as we nudged the escutcheon to one side. 27:38.965 --> 27:42.807 The voice we used for this tended to be gruff and masculine, a bit like Tiffany's dad, Terry. 27:43.527 --> 27:46.168 Sadly, we can't do this anymore as we've got no escutcheons where we live. 27:46.448 --> 27:47.788 Best wishes, Mark Redman. 27:47.909 --> 27:52.510 Wait, wait, I'm reeling from the news that that is called an escutcheon, the little disk that covers the keyhole. 27:52.530 --> 27:53.031 Am I saying it right? 27:53.111 --> 27:53.711 Escutcheon. 27:53.791 --> 27:54.291 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 27:55.011 --> 27:56.752 I can't trust myself anymore. 27:57.620 --> 27:59.301 I'm walking on mental eggshells. 27:59.801 --> 28:02.222 Your faith in yourself has been shaken to its core. 28:02.242 --> 28:03.343 Come on, that's a good one, isn't it? 28:03.363 --> 28:04.223 To its score. 28:04.243 --> 28:05.524 Tell me it's a good one. 28:05.684 --> 28:08.686 Please tell me I've done something right. 28:09.006 --> 28:11.247 Jobo, that was absolutely... I hate this programme. 28:11.267 --> 28:12.287 That was brilliant, man. 28:12.307 --> 28:12.908 Thanks, man. 28:12.928 --> 28:13.588 That was really good. 28:14.128 --> 28:17.250 Now listen, here's some music that'll make you feel better about yourself, right? 28:17.390 --> 28:17.730 Alright. 28:17.830 --> 28:20.611 I've never heard it before, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be very inspiring. 28:20.651 --> 28:22.332 This is my free play, you nutbag. 28:24.093 --> 28:26.234 This is called... Have you never heard this before? 28:26.674 --> 28:29.675 This is on a compilation Edgar Wright made for me years ago. 28:30.295 --> 28:32.356 And it sounds like a classic to me. 28:32.396 --> 28:34.096 It's by someone called Blossom Dearie. 28:34.216 --> 28:35.477 I think it's remixed a lot. 28:35.517 --> 28:38.218 This is called... It's From... Where is it From? 28:38.238 --> 28:39.358 Hang on. 28:39.618 --> 28:41.139 I'll tell you what year it is from. 28:41.999 --> 28:43.400 Is this alright to do this kind of thing? 28:43.540 --> 28:46.280 Just to stop and then mumble and then flick papers? 28:46.581 --> 28:47.641 Yeah, but I mean... Is that acceptable? 28:47.661 --> 28:49.161 It's you telling us what year it's from. 28:49.201 --> 28:50.142 How can we believe you? 28:51.002 --> 28:51.602 That's true. 28:51.622 --> 28:54.284 I've got no authority anymore. 28:54.584 --> 28:54.884 It's from 2050. 28:55.004 --> 28:59.867 This is Blossom Deary with I Like London in the Rain. 29:00.167 --> 29:02.548 Slightly sort of leave the machine running there at the end. 29:03.409 --> 29:11.273 That's Corner Shop with Sleep on the Left Side and the record before then, the Blossom Deary one, it was from 1970 and that's a fact! 29:12.074 --> 29:12.974 Oh. 29:12.994 --> 29:15.876 From the album, that's just the way I want to be. 29:16.536 --> 29:17.216 It's all right, man. 29:17.236 --> 29:18.797 It's a popular breakbeat sample. 29:18.877 --> 29:19.277 Facts. 29:19.677 --> 29:22.278 Three solid, uncontestable facts. 29:22.358 --> 29:23.879 No, the fiesta really got to you, didn't it? 29:24.379 --> 29:25.860 I don't like negative fiestas. 29:25.880 --> 29:28.361 I mean, that was a bully fiesta. 29:28.381 --> 29:28.801 It was a little bit. 29:28.821 --> 29:31.202 It was just a mocking, it was a nasty party. 29:31.522 --> 29:32.662 What, the in-your-face party? 29:32.703 --> 29:35.304 Yeah, it's just not a relaxing party. 29:35.804 --> 29:37.564 It's like a really horrible surprise party. 29:37.584 --> 29:39.545 If it's any consolation, everyone else has a fiesta. 29:39.565 --> 29:41.086 It's like you come home, you open your door. 29:41.106 --> 29:41.686 Had a brilliant time. 29:41.986 --> 29:45.728 And instead of everyone coming up from behind the sofa and going woo, they come up and go, 29:47.287 --> 29:49.148 In your face, specifically, yeah. 29:49.788 --> 29:51.089 In your face, you idiot hole. 29:51.169 --> 29:52.490 I mean, I deserved it. 29:52.910 --> 29:53.811 Oh, come on. 29:53.831 --> 29:54.691 You didn't deserve it. 29:54.751 --> 29:55.512 You didn't deserve it. 29:55.552 --> 29:56.292 I'm really sorry. 29:56.312 --> 30:01.615 You're never going to have a bullying fiesta again this week. 30:02.695 --> 30:06.516 Um, now, what are we doing, ladies and gentlemen? 30:06.736 --> 30:09.017 Oh yes, we've got to stand down Black Squadron before we go any further. 30:09.037 --> 30:09.757 For goodness sake. 30:09.777 --> 30:10.938 I mean, it's 10 o'clock. 30:11.178 --> 30:12.138 They're supposed to be stood down at 9.30. 30:12.318 --> 30:15.299 They've been standing there for an hour wrapped in lavatory paper. 30:15.339 --> 30:17.600 Or at least proper Black Squadron members would have been. 30:17.640 --> 30:17.800 Yeah. 30:18.300 --> 30:21.701 And Black Squadron! 30:21.741 --> 30:22.601 Stand down. 30:22.702 --> 30:23.802 Your work is done. 30:23.822 --> 30:26.743 You've earned yourself a nice warm bath. 30:27.403 --> 30:29.304 And maybe a nice little bargain. 30:29.364 --> 30:30.204 And Black Squadron! 30:32.517 --> 30:34.940 You could have a nice little bun in the bath if you wanted. 30:34.960 --> 30:36.001 That's entirely up to you. 30:36.401 --> 30:46.793 Now, a couple of weeks back, when it wasn't quite so cold, me and my family went to have some family fun at a place called Pleasure Wood Hills over in East Anglia. 30:47.373 --> 30:49.135 It's, you know, other theme parks. 30:49.316 --> 30:51.057 Sounds like a dirty park. 30:51.978 --> 30:56.181 I mean, it doesn't sound like a place to take the kids, to be perfectly honest. 30:57.342 --> 31:00.124 I'd never thought of it like that, but it does sound dirty, doesn't it? 31:00.904 --> 31:02.245 Pleasure wood hills. 31:03.066 --> 31:03.866 Anyway, it's not. 31:03.986 --> 31:07.729 It's an absolutely delightful... There's three of the sexiest words in the English language. 31:07.829 --> 31:08.629 It's true, isn't it? 31:08.690 --> 31:09.470 Yeah, yeah. 31:09.530 --> 31:11.892 They are the backbone of the porn industry, those words. 31:12.492 --> 31:15.134 So why would you want to take your family? 31:15.174 --> 31:16.094 Especially hills. 31:18.496 --> 31:19.437 I mean, that's dirty. 31:19.637 --> 31:20.778 A big dirty theme park. 31:20.838 --> 31:21.759 It's not like that at all. 31:21.939 --> 31:26.183 Obviously, it's a family fun day out and it's a very enjoyable one too. 31:26.704 --> 31:28.506 And we were having such a good time there. 31:28.826 --> 31:29.647 What did they have there? 31:30.267 --> 31:34.671 They had... I mean, I'd hope they had woods and hills. 31:35.632 --> 31:37.193 It was gently rolling hills. 31:38.654 --> 31:43.078 There was some attractions that were made of wood, mainly fiberglass. 31:43.218 --> 31:44.039 What kind of things? 31:45.500 --> 31:53.506 Uh, you know, slides, water chutes, slides, bums, a giant bum, a huge woman that you could walk inside. 31:53.526 --> 31:54.186 What? 31:55.167 --> 31:56.488 The usual stuff. 32:04.847 --> 32:05.687 Come on, focus. 32:08.209 --> 32:17.213 Just like the image of you and your family going to pleasure wood hills and playing on the fibreglass puns. 32:17.793 --> 32:21.635 That would be fun, you could slide down the crack and... Yeah, yeah. 32:21.835 --> 32:23.716 Anyway, they didn't have any of that, right? 32:23.736 --> 32:26.117 It's a nice place, it's a nice family place. 32:27.157 --> 32:33.302 Although, you know, if we ever got like some spare time and money, we could certainly think about setting up that other theme park. 32:33.982 --> 32:34.963 I think it would be nice. 32:36.784 --> 32:38.786 But we were queuing up for one ride. 32:38.806 --> 32:39.906 It wasn't so much a ride. 32:39.926 --> 32:44.410 It was a little bit like one race. 32:44.490 --> 32:47.632 What are you thinking of the word ride? 32:50.254 --> 32:50.994 Keep talking. 32:51.094 --> 32:54.077 Come on, smarty-minded Cornish man. 32:54.137 --> 32:54.677 Just fun. 32:56.458 --> 32:57.840 So you were queuing up for a ride. 32:57.860 --> 33:01.885 You were queuing up for a ride. 33:03.847 --> 33:05.208 But it wasn't exactly a ride. 33:05.589 --> 33:06.530 No, it wasn't. 33:06.610 --> 33:10.695 What it was was just like a chairlift, basically is what it was, you know? 33:11.715 --> 33:24.679 Do you ever remember the first episode of Father Ted, where there's a kind of very low rent theme park and one of the attractions is just a sofa on a winch being moved up and down or something like that? 33:25.379 --> 33:28.500 There was a touch of that to this... Chairlifts are fun though. 33:28.640 --> 33:37.062 When I was a kid and before I'd ever been skiing, I used to, and I've only been skiing like twice, didn't really like it, but I used to be mesmerised by chairlift. 33:37.182 --> 33:38.102 Yeah. 33:38.142 --> 33:39.563 Brilliant idea, really exciting. 33:39.603 --> 33:41.163 Were your kids excited to go on the chairlift? 33:41.183 --> 33:42.184 Well, they really were. 33:42.264 --> 33:43.364 They were very excited. 33:43.784 --> 33:44.364 So we queued up. 33:44.384 --> 33:46.245 But the thing was, I don't know why exactly. 33:46.525 --> 33:53.047 Oh, yes, because you could get on the chairlift and then get off the other end, or you could go and then come right the way back. 33:53.667 --> 34:00.950 So there was people getting on and off at either end of the chairlift, right, which sort of stretched across the center of the park. 34:02.330 --> 34:15.825 So you had to wait to get on every other chair. 34:15.845 --> 34:16.626 Do you see what I'm saying? 34:17.046 --> 34:18.468 They weren't letting people on every single chair. 34:18.788 --> 34:23.153 So it was taking quite a long time because the chairs were moving imperceptibly slowly was the other thing. 34:23.593 --> 34:28.376 So, queuing up for this thing, even though there are only about six people in the queue, was a very long-winded business. 34:29.037 --> 34:35.241 And in front of us was this couple, these two men, and they were chatting away, and they were very excited about getting on the chairs. 34:35.842 --> 34:41.305 And then there was, in front of them, this big lady, big matriarch, loud woman. 34:42.166 --> 34:50.932 And she was there, and at one point, she turned round to this large group of people that came in and started joining the queue behind us, and she said, Come on, come up here! 34:51.112 --> 34:51.913 You're coming up here! 34:52.756 --> 34:53.676 And we were like, really? 34:54.136 --> 34:58.837 There's about six people that have just joined the queue there and she's inviting them to jump ahead of us. 34:58.997 --> 34:59.798 She's like, yeah, come on. 34:59.838 --> 35:06.119 And they were sort of dithering, sort of not sure if that was cool to go ahead in front of so many people, which of course it wasn't. 35:06.499 --> 35:08.040 But she said, yeah, come on, come on. 35:08.360 --> 35:09.020 I'm standing here. 35:09.040 --> 35:09.900 So you're coming up here. 35:09.940 --> 35:10.300 Come on. 35:10.440 --> 35:11.520 You're all coming and standing. 35:11.560 --> 35:11.960 Come on. 35:12.001 --> 35:13.121 Yes, you're coming here. 35:13.181 --> 35:13.721 Come on. 35:14.738 --> 35:18.960 So they all start pushing ahead of myself and my family and the people behind us. 35:18.980 --> 35:19.481 That's disgusting. 35:19.721 --> 35:22.602 And also this couple of guys in front of us, right? 35:23.483 --> 35:28.986 And I was thinking, surely this is not on because they've just doubled the length of this already very long wait. 35:30.106 --> 35:33.708 So the two guys in front just said, they're not coming and standing there. 35:33.728 --> 35:34.589 No way. 35:35.129 --> 35:36.450 We're waiting in the queue. 35:36.470 --> 35:38.811 And this woman just rounded on them. 35:39.191 --> 35:40.052 She said, what? 35:40.689 --> 35:42.210 They are standing here! 35:42.851 --> 35:44.412 All right, because I say so! 35:44.472 --> 35:46.013 Don't tell me what to do! 35:46.033 --> 35:48.574 It got really aggressive, really fast. 35:48.594 --> 35:50.636 Some kind of theme park in Royston Vasey. 35:50.856 --> 35:52.817 It was, it turned into one at that point. 35:52.997 --> 35:54.318 It was really very aggressive. 35:55.019 --> 35:58.801 And I was thinking, my goodness, these guys are never, but they, they wouldn't stand for it. 35:58.841 --> 36:00.543 These guys totally held their ground. 36:01.423 --> 36:03.946 And they said, you know, they weren't being rude or anything. 36:04.186 --> 36:06.408 He just said, look darling, come on, we've all been waiting. 36:06.428 --> 36:08.411 And she goes, don't call me darling. 36:08.431 --> 36:11.514 How dare you call me darling. 36:11.854 --> 36:15.878 And then she started spitting homophobic abuse at them. 36:16.059 --> 36:16.419 No. 36:16.599 --> 36:16.799 Yeah. 36:16.859 --> 36:18.081 And swearing at them. 36:18.421 --> 36:21.144 And at one point it looked like she was going to get violent with them. 36:21.164 --> 36:21.765 I was thinking, 36:22.285 --> 36:22.805 Oh my gosh. 36:23.125 --> 36:29.528 And then her family of kids and stuff started shouting at these guys and hurling abuse at them as well. 36:29.848 --> 36:31.009 It was really harsh. 36:31.129 --> 36:31.889 Broken Britain. 36:32.089 --> 36:33.510 It was really broken Britain. 36:33.910 --> 36:37.372 But luckily, just at boiling point where I was just thinking, 36:38.112 --> 36:40.054 you know, Count Buckley's might have to step in here. 36:42.897 --> 36:44.359 What would Count Buckley's have done? 36:45.280 --> 36:47.082 Probably, you know, just maced them all. 36:48.043 --> 36:48.323 Really? 36:49.704 --> 36:51.366 I don't know what Count Buckley's would have done. 36:51.426 --> 36:54.309 He would have used his very tremulous... Now what? 36:54.570 --> 36:55.671 Excuse me, can you... 36:56.852 --> 36:57.773 Now, look, stop it. 36:58.033 --> 37:02.116 Anyway, Count Bikinis didn't have to step in because the woman said, all right, we're going to leave. 37:02.236 --> 37:02.777 We're going to leave. 37:03.037 --> 37:05.719 The smell's getting to me in this queue anyway. 37:05.739 --> 37:07.541 It was ridiculous. 37:08.201 --> 37:10.663 It was like a kind of cartoon matriarch woman. 37:10.683 --> 37:12.385 Do you think you would have stepped in in that situation? 37:12.965 --> 37:13.586 I don't know. 37:13.606 --> 37:14.746 With someone that over the top? 37:14.766 --> 37:15.407 No, I don't know. 37:15.507 --> 37:16.007 I don't know. 37:16.067 --> 37:18.869 No, I would be scared because you can't take on a whole family. 37:19.529 --> 37:26.033 God has designed families to... I think in caveman times, whole families would fight regularly. 37:26.473 --> 37:30.636 And the children would go for the ankles, you know, and the sensitive parts. 37:31.176 --> 37:31.857 Head-butting. 37:31.957 --> 37:32.337 Bottoms. 37:32.517 --> 37:33.097 The bottoms. 37:33.438 --> 37:35.079 She was a very scary matriarch. 37:35.299 --> 37:40.182 But when she had gone, I very pathetically leaned forward and patted the guy on the back and said, good on you, mate. 37:40.862 --> 37:41.502 Good on you, mate. 37:41.522 --> 37:42.163 Good on you, mate. 37:42.223 --> 37:43.083 Go Australian for that. 37:43.123 --> 37:44.563 I did go Australian, I don't know why. 37:44.583 --> 37:45.804 And what did they say? 37:46.284 --> 37:48.325 He said, wow, she was taking the mic. 37:49.185 --> 37:51.706 So there was a nice little sense of community after. 37:51.726 --> 37:53.187 What an extraordinary outing. 37:53.407 --> 37:53.807 Wow. 37:53.927 --> 37:55.528 What an amazing theme park. 37:55.728 --> 37:56.968 I recommend it, I tell you. 37:57.568 --> 37:59.129 Right, here's a bit of Most Def right now. 37:59.149 --> 37:59.889 You like Most Def, yeah? 37:59.909 --> 38:01.030 Yeah, this is a good record. 38:01.070 --> 38:02.230 This is called Quiet Dog. 38:02.350 --> 38:05.351 I think it's called Bark Loud, but knowing my luck with the facts, it's not. 38:05.411 --> 38:07.032 I think it's from the album The Ecstatic. 38:07.672 --> 38:09.914 Um, no, that's one previous one, I think. 38:10.154 --> 38:12.395 But listen, forget about facts, where we're concerned. 38:12.615 --> 38:16.238 We're gonna look up these facts during this record, but one thing we can say is this is most death. 38:19.920 --> 38:21.161 Oh no, it's that dog again! 38:22.786 --> 38:30.253 Listeners, uh... Boggins has come back into the studio. 38:30.293 --> 38:32.034 Boggins is quite a controversial dog. 38:32.575 --> 38:33.676 We had a couple of emails. 38:38.960 --> 38:39.861 I can't understand what you're saying. 38:40.161 --> 38:41.923 Natalie in Cardiff says, I love boggins. 38:41.963 --> 38:43.764 He's fab, a great addition to the show. 38:43.905 --> 38:46.887 Any chance he'll be making an appearance every show? 38:47.728 --> 38:52.572 Whereas John Usher from York says, hi, I heard boggins again on the podcast and he's still rubbish. 38:52.973 --> 38:54.134 I'm going to lick your face. 38:55.014 --> 38:56.336 Is it OK? 38:56.656 --> 39:00.159 In fact, listening to boggins makes me feel physically sick now. 39:00.179 --> 39:03.982 I beg of you, please stop allowing boggins into the show. 39:04.082 --> 39:05.223 Thank you, John Usher from York. 39:06.164 --> 39:12.932 I mean, there's two very oppositional views about- I found a bird, I killed it, and I'm gonna eat it, it's okay, I love you. 39:13.213 --> 39:15.616 Sad that he's incomprehensible these days. 39:15.876 --> 39:23.745 But listen, I'm gonna agree with John Usher, and I'm actually gonna have Boggins put down, because he's a nuisance. 39:24.426 --> 39:26.909 And he's not sanctioned at all by the BBC. 39:26.949 --> 39:27.690 He comes in here. 39:27.710 --> 39:31.734 I think the receptionists probably like him or let him in or turned a blind eye. 39:32.135 --> 39:34.958 But he's recently weed on Terry Wogan. 39:35.738 --> 39:36.179 I love you. 39:36.219 --> 39:39.583 Can I eat your face? 39:39.903 --> 39:44.468 He used to be popular when I was on the 70s, but now he's just a relic. 39:45.108 --> 39:46.110 So I'm gonna put him down. 39:50.394 --> 39:51.054 He's frightened. 39:51.134 --> 39:51.755 He's gone off. 39:51.815 --> 39:53.676 What have you done to Boggins? 39:53.776 --> 39:54.356 He ran off. 39:54.416 --> 39:55.777 I threatened to have him put down. 39:55.817 --> 39:58.299 He ran past me as I was coming back from the toilet. 39:58.359 --> 39:59.200 The audience hates him. 39:59.220 --> 40:00.000 I hate him as well. 40:00.060 --> 40:00.561 I hate dogs. 40:00.581 --> 40:04.323 Apart from Natalie and Cardiff, she's the only person who would stand up for Boggins. 40:04.523 --> 40:05.124 She what? 40:05.584 --> 40:06.065 No, come on. 40:06.125 --> 40:06.625 I love dogs. 40:06.645 --> 40:07.446 Well, I'm just joking. 40:07.666 --> 40:08.606 Dogs are adorable. 40:08.646 --> 40:09.387 Why would you want to help her? 40:09.407 --> 40:10.087 I'm talking about dogs. 40:10.127 --> 40:11.488 We're talking specifically about Boggins. 40:11.508 --> 40:12.309 Oh, about Boggins. 40:12.689 --> 40:18.231 elderly, incomprehensible dog with bottom-based problems. 40:18.291 --> 40:18.992 He's sweet. 40:19.032 --> 40:20.152 He's so sweet. 40:24.414 --> 40:28.055 Well, he's gone now, listeners, so let us know if you want boggins put down. 40:28.075 --> 40:30.236 It smells, though, doesn't it, in here now? 40:30.496 --> 40:30.676 Yeah. 40:30.696 --> 40:31.377 It stinks. 40:31.497 --> 40:32.597 He's so sweet. 40:35.978 --> 40:37.739 Let us know if you want us to kill boggins. 40:38.860 --> 40:40.300 Listen, listeners, what? 40:40.720 --> 40:40.980 What? 40:45.034 --> 40:45.475 saying that. 40:45.835 --> 40:48.097 Yeah, in a very, it would be humane, wouldn't it? 40:48.117 --> 40:49.659 He's looking at James. 40:49.719 --> 40:50.740 Yeah, it would be a shot. 40:51.100 --> 40:52.762 He's looking at the presenter and producer just to chat. 40:52.782 --> 40:57.727 Well, there are probably guidelines on executing fictional dogs, aren't there? 40:57.747 --> 40:59.369 You know, this is the big British castle. 40:59.409 --> 41:02.812 You can't just, you can't just murder an idea like that. 41:03.153 --> 41:04.454 Well, we do that all the time. 41:04.514 --> 41:05.995 Murder in imaginative space. 41:08.018 --> 41:10.180 Listen, so I would like your advice, Adam. 41:10.280 --> 41:10.541 Yeah. 41:10.901 --> 41:11.682 Do you text? 41:11.762 --> 41:12.904 Do you like to text people? 41:13.404 --> 41:14.906 I do it once in a while. 41:14.966 --> 41:16.789 The reception I have is not so good. 41:16.829 --> 41:17.690 I'm a keen text. 41:17.790 --> 41:18.691 I love to text. 41:19.732 --> 41:22.075 Do you, when you text someone, do you put a little kiss at the end? 41:23.457 --> 41:25.239 Ah, no, I don't go for the kiss. 41:25.379 --> 41:27.461 No, I just go for the initial. 41:27.841 --> 41:28.182 Do you? 41:28.322 --> 41:28.582 Yeah. 41:28.622 --> 41:29.363 Do you really? 41:29.603 --> 41:29.804 Yeah. 41:29.904 --> 41:30.644 That's interesting. 41:31.085 --> 41:34.168 I mean, this is a factor in emailing as well, isn't it? 41:34.248 --> 41:35.470 How you sign off emails. 41:35.730 --> 41:40.515 Actually, now you mention it, I go for the initial in an email when it's clear who it's from. 41:40.555 --> 41:40.915 You do a kiss. 41:41.696 --> 41:42.317 No, no kissing. 41:42.517 --> 41:42.997 No kissing. 41:43.017 --> 41:44.078 Never, never, never. 41:44.098 --> 41:44.379 No. 41:44.479 --> 41:45.159 You never kiss. 41:45.240 --> 41:45.980 Or I put love. 41:46.581 --> 41:47.281 You put love. 41:47.422 --> 41:47.602 Yeah. 41:47.622 --> 41:48.202 Love ad. 41:48.723 --> 41:48.923 Yeah. 41:49.243 --> 41:49.864 In an email. 41:50.084 --> 41:56.910 You see, when I first started texting many years ago, the person I used to text the most, my text buddy, he used to put a kiss. 41:58.292 --> 41:58.832 See you later. 41:59.933 --> 42:00.194 Bye. 42:00.214 --> 42:00.914 See you at the cinema. 42:02.175 --> 42:04.616 So I got into the habit of not three kisses. 42:04.636 --> 42:06.357 It's just one I'm exaggerating for effect. 42:07.538 --> 42:24.246 Yeah Well, it's a weird thing isn't it because he's not a man I would kiss I'm not really even I would kiss him on the cheek But not regularly and you can you find yourself in funny situations when you put a kiss after a text for instance I was texting a friend 42:24.986 --> 42:28.169 quite a new friend and, you know, the kisses were flying. 42:28.209 --> 42:32.272 It was very, it was very mundane conversation, like meeting up and where you're going to be and so and so. 42:32.672 --> 42:37.116 But at the end of everything, it was a little kiss. 42:37.516 --> 42:38.257 So what do you do? 42:38.377 --> 42:43.861 Like, for instance, so your opening one can have a kiss because maybe you think the conversation is not going to go that far. 42:44.042 --> 42:44.222 Yeah. 42:44.342 --> 42:48.865 But then we ended up having quite a long conversation and I was still doing the kiss at the end of each. 42:49.186 --> 42:50.767 Well, you started kissing him too. 42:51.207 --> 42:51.468 Yeah. 42:52.268 --> 42:53.810 You are so easily led. 42:54.290 --> 42:58.355 It's just a fun, I mean it doesn't mean I want to kiss the friend necessarily. 42:58.375 --> 42:58.855 It does. 42:58.975 --> 42:59.316 Does it? 42:59.336 --> 42:59.856 Yeah. 42:59.876 --> 43:01.618 But that's one of the dangerous areas. 43:02.139 --> 43:06.023 Because he stopped putting kisses at the end of his... He was getting freaked out. 43:06.043 --> 43:06.463 ...messages. 43:06.884 --> 43:07.905 I kept sending the kisses. 43:08.025 --> 43:08.465 Did you? 43:08.626 --> 43:08.846 Yeah. 43:09.266 --> 43:10.628 Okay then, that sounds good. 43:14.824 --> 43:21.225 Can you imagine if in a real conversation, you just, after every sentence, you just learned tenon. 43:23.484 --> 43:28.405 And then you might be like one of those Euro people who go for, one of the random people who go for a lip kiss. 43:28.485 --> 43:29.146 A lip kiss. 43:30.106 --> 43:42.269 There's someone I'm working with on, the thing I'm working on, quite a professional guy, and at the end of every email, whatever it's about, it's big kiss, small kiss, big hug, small hug kiss. 43:42.989 --> 43:43.809 How do you do a hug? 43:44.150 --> 43:45.390 A circle, I do believe. 43:46.090 --> 43:46.851 Is that a hug? 43:46.911 --> 43:49.572 Well, I think so, unless it's something more racy. 43:51.934 --> 43:54.716 What if it's mouth, some other kind of mouth pleasure? 43:54.896 --> 43:56.057 A tongue kiss? 43:56.217 --> 43:56.357 Yeah. 43:56.717 --> 44:01.741 I mean, these are quite business-like emails we're getting about, you know, photography tests and stuff. 44:02.341 --> 44:04.082 And it'll be, yeah, the tests look really good. 44:04.502 --> 44:05.183 See you on Monday. 44:09.105 --> 44:11.267 That was a tongue kiss I was doing there. 44:19.171 --> 44:21.092 But I'm not going to stop. 44:21.152 --> 44:28.535 I'm going to continue kissing because I think, you know, sometimes you have to take a view on whether to do that kind of thing in a message to your parents as well. 44:28.555 --> 44:29.296 Do you know what I mean? 44:29.436 --> 44:30.416 Yeah. 44:30.496 --> 44:38.720 Or whether to do it, you know, sometimes the professional and personal boundary can be blurred if you're working with someone important who you're also friendly with. 44:39.020 --> 44:41.401 Is it good to give them a couple of kisses? 44:41.861 --> 44:45.423 I do see I just go for the casual love. 44:45.543 --> 44:48.364 Which I think for some people is probably a bit creepy anyway. 44:49.104 --> 44:50.244 I'm gonna carry on kissing. 44:50.284 --> 44:51.265 You carry on man. 44:51.545 --> 44:52.685 But I hope you take precautions. 44:53.166 --> 44:53.546 Thank you. 44:54.186 --> 44:55.006 Here's some music now. 44:55.046 --> 44:57.727 This is the Smith's with what difference does it make? 44:59.068 --> 45:05.292 Extraordinary response to my threat to humanely cull boggins. 45:05.933 --> 45:08.775 I mean, the listenership is really, really divided. 45:08.915 --> 45:09.275 Are they? 45:09.655 --> 45:13.438 Some people are absolutely, what's the phrase? 45:14.278 --> 45:15.179 Chomping at the bit. 45:15.719 --> 45:16.580 Chomping or champing? 45:16.960 --> 45:17.200 Both. 45:17.280 --> 45:22.204 Champing and chomping at the bit to see boggins executed. 45:22.224 --> 45:25.346 An anonymous text. 45:25.766 --> 45:28.608 Put boggins in a sack and drop bricks on him. 45:29.068 --> 45:29.768 Oh, that's hot. 45:29.828 --> 45:30.088 I know. 45:30.128 --> 45:32.709 Well, I'm just reading out what people have sent in. 45:32.769 --> 45:40.332 Yeah, this is a this is a fictional dog I know but just the you can't be too careful these days. 45:40.372 --> 45:47.175 I mean look what happened on telly last weekend x-factor and strictly scat both of them Enveloped in scandals. 45:47.255 --> 45:47.515 Yeah. 45:47.595 --> 45:52.977 Yeah, the world is so scandal-sensitive right now certainly it's gotta be very very careful any point 45:53.437 --> 45:54.399 fictional dog. 45:55.240 --> 45:57.483 Let boggins taste the sweet release of death. 45:57.783 --> 45:58.925 I hear it's delicious. 46:00.086 --> 46:01.428 Who's that from? 46:01.548 --> 46:02.269 It's anonymous. 46:02.289 --> 46:03.150 They're all anonymous. 46:03.170 --> 46:04.592 Anonymity is so dangerous. 46:04.612 --> 46:08.998 We want to read out creepy anonymous texts about killing fictional animals. 46:09.038 --> 46:09.919 We love boggins. 46:10.040 --> 46:10.821 Don't do it. 46:12.031 --> 46:12.851 There's someone else. 46:14.432 --> 46:17.293 A lot of younger listeners are very distressed. 46:17.313 --> 46:19.553 I mean, he absolutely stinks boggins. 46:19.653 --> 46:20.714 By the fictional dog. 46:20.734 --> 46:22.134 But he's so sweet. 46:22.154 --> 46:22.915 He's very sweet. 46:22.955 --> 46:24.955 He will drag his bottom across the carpet. 46:25.155 --> 46:25.495 He does. 46:25.535 --> 46:28.376 He's got some problem with his glands, I think. 46:28.456 --> 46:31.277 So he's trying to itch them and it leaves a terrible smell. 46:31.477 --> 46:32.338 He is trying to itch them. 46:32.358 --> 46:33.658 But he's very sweet. 46:33.898 --> 46:34.858 Save boggins. 46:35.399 --> 46:37.419 Don't send boggins to doggy heaven early. 46:37.679 --> 46:38.479 He's brilliant. 46:39.020 --> 46:39.760 Paul in Glasgow. 46:41.149 --> 46:41.990 He's a little kiss there. 46:42.110 --> 46:42.510 Two kisses. 46:42.570 --> 46:43.411 Two kisses from Paul. 46:43.511 --> 46:44.011 No hugs. 46:44.511 --> 46:49.675 What I'd like to do is if listeners give us kisses, can we invite them in to actually give us the kisses? 46:50.075 --> 46:50.875 Just on the cheek. 46:51.636 --> 46:53.917 What's happened with your plan to sleep with the listeners? 46:54.017 --> 46:54.598 I don't know. 46:54.658 --> 46:55.598 There's been very little. 46:55.759 --> 47:00.842 There was a response from the listeners, wasn't there, that the production team haven't exactly swung into action. 47:01.582 --> 47:03.323 Things move very slowly at the castle. 47:03.444 --> 47:04.044 They do, don't they? 47:04.064 --> 47:05.585 It'll have to be approved, but it will happen. 47:05.845 --> 47:11.107 I mean, to say you have to jump through hoops is an understatement of massive proportions. 47:11.628 --> 47:21.932 So, folks, I don't know if you know, but we've got a podcast available of this program, and it's not just like a little condensed package of highlights, although essentially that's what it is. 47:22.253 --> 47:33.898 They just remove the music and the stuff that we can't clear, and you're left with all the talking bits, but you're also left with some wonderful jingles and a little intro and an outro that's a special dedicated intro and outro for the podcast. 47:35.319 --> 47:47.385 But some people still don't know that this thing exists, and we care about the podcast very much, and it's available to download free on iTunes and other places like that every Monday evening. 47:47.425 --> 47:48.405 It usually comes out. 47:49.025 --> 47:52.487 But we want to make as many people aware of the existence of the podcast as possible. 47:52.607 --> 47:55.929 So James, our producer, was suggesting we do some kind of trail, right? 47:56.249 --> 47:57.830 That we can play during the live show. 47:58.750 --> 48:03.476 So running out of time this week, I came up with this. 48:03.536 --> 48:05.438 I'll play you the opening part of the trail. 48:05.478 --> 48:11.605 So this I was thinking that this would go at the beginning of a little package of highlights from the podcast. 48:11.665 --> 48:13.447 So this would be the intro part of the trail. 48:15.048 --> 48:15.389 Here it is. 48:16.605 --> 48:20.646 Hi, my name's Adam Buxton, and I want to talk to you about podcasts. 48:21.466 --> 48:25.728 Thousands of people in the UK get the Adam and Jo podcasts every Monday night. 48:26.248 --> 48:30.869 They're not serious, but if they're not dealt with immediately, they can build up and become irritating. 48:31.429 --> 48:39.652 The podcast is caused by the highlights of Adam and Jo's sixth music show on a Saturday morning, with all the actual music bits surgically removed. 48:40.472 --> 48:44.573 However, there are some extra bits which can be highly infectious. 48:45.436 --> 48:47.697 Do you get the joke? 48:48.538 --> 48:53.400 Well, it makes it sound sort of like quite clinical and dangerous. 48:53.420 --> 48:54.681 It's like a public health warning. 48:55.781 --> 48:59.023 But then I chose the wrong sort of music really to go underneath. 48:59.303 --> 49:01.845 Well, it's like you're repelling people from the podcast. 49:01.925 --> 49:03.245 I'm repelling. 49:03.305 --> 49:04.726 That's the other problem with it. 49:04.926 --> 49:09.689 See, I was playing it because I wanted to see if you'd spot the problem in it. 49:10.569 --> 49:11.470 It's repellent. 49:13.409 --> 49:14.111 It's good though. 49:14.131 --> 49:15.316 It's very good. 49:15.356 --> 49:16.279 You want to hear the outro? 49:17.017 --> 49:17.277 Yeah. 49:17.397 --> 49:21.238 Here's the outro that would come after the packages if this was ever used, which it will not be. 49:21.258 --> 49:21.898 I can't wait. 49:22.239 --> 49:25.219 And it seems like as if I don't have to, which is wonderful. 49:25.260 --> 49:25.680 Here it is. 49:26.340 --> 49:32.102 The good news is that Adam and Joe podcasts are not serious and can be got rid of very easily. 49:32.822 --> 49:38.363 If you'd like to catch Adam and Joe podcasts, your best bet is to hang around the internet on a Monday night. 49:38.403 --> 49:42.865 Or you can sleep with someone who already has Adam and Joe podcasts. 49:43.345 --> 49:46.166 They're generally easy to spot because they're very attractive. 49:47.286 --> 49:49.047 I like the music bed. 49:49.787 --> 49:54.549 That's a sort of... It's like a fun government announcement. 49:54.649 --> 49:55.310 It is, isn't it? 49:55.390 --> 49:58.091 I mean, it's depressing but yet upbeat at the same time. 49:58.731 --> 50:00.292 Like life, quick, like illnesses. 50:00.312 --> 50:03.053 Before my free play, thumbs up or thumbs down for the podcast trail. 50:03.453 --> 50:04.054 Thumbs up, man. 50:04.254 --> 50:04.814 Oh, thanks, man. 50:04.834 --> 50:05.255 Definitely. 50:05.275 --> 50:05.935 It's unexpected. 50:06.156 --> 50:07.597 Here's Wire with Dot Dash. 50:07.817 --> 50:09.118 Wire with Dot Dash. 50:09.138 --> 50:11.260 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 50:11.500 --> 50:13.742 It's just after 10.30 and time for the news. 50:13.943 --> 50:18.947 An extraordinary 140 Black Squadron pictures have come into the studio. 50:18.967 --> 50:19.808 Now, that's amazing. 50:19.868 --> 50:20.829 Our previous record was 121. 50:20.869 --> 50:23.531 That's really amazing. 50:23.551 --> 50:24.532 Well done, Black Squadron. 50:24.572 --> 50:25.773 Very good response, Squadron. 50:25.793 --> 50:29.156 And that's not even accounting for the pictures we might receive during the week. 50:29.276 --> 50:29.817 We salute you. 50:30.157 --> 50:32.898 You just heard the police there with So Lonely. 50:32.958 --> 50:35.219 It's a little bit of shtung for you. 50:35.659 --> 50:42.662 And he's got a new album of, like, madrigals played on a mouth harp or whatever. 50:42.682 --> 50:44.263 Has it coming out here? 50:45.303 --> 50:46.624 And will you be buying that one? 50:47.284 --> 50:47.584 No. 50:47.604 --> 50:48.625 You used to love shtung. 50:48.945 --> 50:50.606 Well, I was thinking about that the other day. 50:50.626 --> 50:57.269 I went through a peculiar phase when sci-fi stereo video tapes first came out. 50:57.349 --> 50:58.230 Do you remember? 50:58.370 --> 51:03.812 And for some reason he released his concert film, The Dream of the Blue Turtles, will bring on the night or whatever it's called. 51:03.832 --> 51:05.273 I think they're both concert films. 51:05.453 --> 51:06.995 Well, Bring on the Night was a police film. 51:07.035 --> 51:11.280 Dream of Blue Turtles was his solo album with his wife giving birth in the middle of it. 51:11.300 --> 51:12.661 Yes, and that amazing jazz band he assembled. 51:12.701 --> 51:15.505 Yeah, and he did assemble an incredible, like, jazz funk band. 51:15.605 --> 51:19.549 And yeah, we used to listen to that a lot, to listen to the Omar Hakim drum solos and stuff. 51:20.430 --> 51:21.250 but not anymore. 51:22.011 --> 51:23.232 Have you listened to that album recently? 51:23.372 --> 51:29.575 I haven't, no, it crossed my mind to buy it again, to buy the DVD actually of the film, just as a kind of nostalgia trick. 51:29.595 --> 51:34.458 Love is the seventh wave, I'd say love is the seventh wave. 51:34.498 --> 51:35.819 Hey, hey, it's good. 51:35.879 --> 51:36.719 Hey, it's good. 51:36.759 --> 51:37.599 It's really, really good. 51:37.620 --> 51:38.040 It's good. 51:38.380 --> 51:41.061 So listen, folks, text the nation this week, right? 51:41.081 --> 51:41.962 Let's have the jingle-jungle. 51:47.124 --> 51:49.067 What if I don't want to? 51:49.167 --> 51:50.189 But I'm using email. 51:50.329 --> 51:51.050 Is that a problem? 51:51.090 --> 51:51.931 It doesn't matter, text! 51:54.400 --> 52:01.865 I mean, what's happened, essentially, is that text donation and retro text donation within the body of the live program have kind of swapped places. 52:03.586 --> 52:12.632 Text donation now is really just, we get the topic rolling and then people are welcome to respond to it either in the live program or during the week. 52:12.672 --> 52:20.778 And we do get an awful lot of people listening on the podcast who respond to or listen again, who respond to the text donation topic via email. 52:20.858 --> 52:23.580 So you're saying that we shouldn't sort of go health for leather with it? 52:23.780 --> 52:24.581 We don't have to. 52:24.681 --> 52:25.822 I'm just saying we don't have to go. 52:25.842 --> 52:27.163 We shouldn't let it take things over. 52:27.183 --> 52:27.743 Exactly. 52:27.823 --> 52:33.467 Because people can respond during the week and then it makes for an even more considered retro text the nation following me. 52:33.487 --> 52:37.250 We don't have to have like five or seven segments. 52:37.270 --> 52:38.711 Well then shut up about it. 52:38.731 --> 52:39.572 Why don't you shut up about it? 52:39.592 --> 52:40.993 Why don't you just shut up about it? 52:41.273 --> 52:41.633 Yeah. 52:41.673 --> 52:42.034 You know what? 52:42.114 --> 52:42.554 I've changed my mind. 52:42.594 --> 52:44.195 Have you got any of that chill cake? 52:44.215 --> 52:44.776 No I haven't. 52:45.376 --> 53:10.208 do you want me to get no i'll get it we'll get into that later we have had a missive from the have we the baker of the job is he angry now he's all right well i'll tell you about that later all right but listen before we go any further uh the email if you want to respond to our texting topic this week is adamandjoe.6music at bbc.co.uk or you can text us of course 64046 is the text number and this week we're talking about 53:10.868 --> 53:14.611 family holidays or family breaks specifically, right? 53:14.671 --> 53:18.074 Not like the big family summer holidays, but half term. 53:18.094 --> 53:19.155 You're talking half term. 53:19.175 --> 53:20.416 You're talking half term, right? 53:20.877 --> 53:23.359 Did you ever go on half term breaks with your family? 53:23.779 --> 53:26.081 Yeah, boy. 53:26.402 --> 53:27.002 Sounds like I know. 53:27.262 --> 53:28.443 Why did I respond like that? 53:28.643 --> 53:30.165 Don't know, because you're in... Of course I did. 53:30.665 --> 53:30.986 Did you? 53:31.106 --> 53:31.986 What kind of thing would you do? 53:32.207 --> 53:33.408 We would go to Devon. 53:33.648 --> 53:34.449 Did you? 53:34.469 --> 53:34.629 Yeah. 53:35.389 --> 53:35.570 Mmm. 53:35.730 --> 53:37.411 Devon knows how they make it so creamy. 53:37.571 --> 53:38.572 You came every now and then? 53:38.853 --> 53:39.193 Yes. 53:39.493 --> 53:40.494 You didn't like it very much. 53:40.534 --> 53:40.835 D'Alveton? 53:40.855 --> 53:41.736 You got bored, yeah. 53:41.796 --> 53:43.517 No, I never got bored. 53:43.577 --> 53:44.979 D'Alveton's in all the papers now. 53:45.599 --> 53:45.860 Why? 53:45.880 --> 53:50.464 Because some ridiculous journalist has moved there and they're trying to make a big deal out of it. 53:50.664 --> 53:51.545 Because it's unfriendly. 53:52.606 --> 53:54.228 Well, that's what they're saying, which is nonsense. 53:54.248 --> 53:54.628 Nonsense. 53:54.668 --> 53:59.573 We had a beautiful, friendly village in the country and a great deal of members of my family lived there. 53:59.713 --> 54:01.274 Yeah, we had a nice time there, I remember. 54:01.294 --> 54:03.115 They're the ones trying to chase out the journalists. 54:03.135 --> 54:06.137 We found an abandoned car and jumped on top of it. 54:06.197 --> 54:08.079 And then we realized it wasn't abandoned. 54:09.346 --> 54:11.368 So that's what we used to do, little trips to Devon. 54:11.388 --> 54:12.529 The good times. 54:12.569 --> 54:14.791 What have you got planned for your family at the half term? 54:15.011 --> 54:20.856 Well, we are going to centre parks the holiday, the weather can't spoil, other holidays the weather can't spoil are available. 54:21.477 --> 54:31.786 But we're going there and it's a place, I've never been to that kind of holiday resort before, the kind of... A space aged one. 54:32.006 --> 54:40.336 It's sort of space-aged, it's under a biodome, but more specifically I'm thinking of places like that, a little bit like Butlins and... A holiday camp. 54:40.356 --> 54:41.817 A holiday resort camp. 54:41.837 --> 54:42.658 I mean, that's what it is. 54:42.698 --> 54:44.040 They wouldn't want to call it that, would they? 54:44.080 --> 54:46.082 Because that sounds so retrograde. 54:46.122 --> 54:46.302 Yeah. 54:47.463 --> 54:51.364 But essentially, I suppose, yes, it's kind of high-end holiday camp, isn't it? 54:51.544 --> 54:52.605 Yeah, medium-end. 54:52.705 --> 54:55.165 So, well, you know, I haven't been there. 54:55.205 --> 54:55.766 I wouldn't know. 54:55.806 --> 54:57.246 I wouldn't be able to comment, possibly. 54:57.926 --> 54:58.947 But... What end it is? 54:59.127 --> 55:03.528 I don't know what to expect, but I'm a tiny little bit nervous about it. 55:04.008 --> 55:04.288 Yes. 55:04.308 --> 55:04.568 Right. 55:05.069 --> 55:08.871 Because also the other thing is that you're thrust together with a lot of families at those places. 55:08.891 --> 55:17.357 I mean, you get your little log cabin in the woods or something like that, I'm hoping, and then you plan your activities and stuff like that. 55:17.978 --> 55:20.119 But my family hasn't really been on its own. 55:20.139 --> 55:24.962 Like, we've been on family holidays, but generally we're joined by other people and stuff like that. 55:25.123 --> 55:26.383 It's sure to be perfect. 55:26.624 --> 55:28.545 It's... I can see you on your bikes. 55:28.665 --> 55:28.925 Yeah. 55:29.285 --> 55:30.806 Cycling across wood chippings. 55:30.866 --> 55:31.447 In the rain. 55:31.787 --> 55:35.830 I can see you whizzling down a waterslide, Frank going, woo! 55:35.930 --> 55:39.872 You catching him at the bottom and going, tossing your head back. 55:41.693 --> 55:47.677 I can see maybe your youngest son, Natty cooking maybe with your wife. 55:47.897 --> 55:50.659 Why are they laughing? 55:51.195 --> 55:52.096 having such a great time. 55:52.116 --> 55:52.937 Oh, I see. 55:53.257 --> 55:54.338 I think it's going to be brilliant. 55:54.518 --> 55:56.360 Yeah. 55:56.620 --> 56:09.192 And then me and my wife in the evening uncork a bottle of wine, have a little barbecue and... Egyptian mummy attack. 56:09.494 --> 56:12.098 Yeah, then go off to the fiberglass bum. 56:12.579 --> 56:14.862 The fiberglass bum bar. 56:17.927 --> 56:18.829 It's going to be lovely. 56:19.109 --> 56:24.217 You know, the thing I'm slightly worried about is the whole water slide thing because I know that's going to be a big part of the attraction. 56:24.918 --> 56:30.123 But I feel a bit self-conscious going in and stripping off in a big communal area. 56:30.163 --> 56:32.305 You used to put a proper t-shirt on, didn't you? 56:32.365 --> 56:32.665 Yeah. 56:32.745 --> 56:33.325 And you were little. 56:33.346 --> 56:34.887 You don't like bearing your upper torso. 56:34.947 --> 56:37.389 No, no, I'm not that proud of my upper torso. 56:37.469 --> 56:43.615 So, you know, on holiday, like on a summer holiday, you have the excuse that you're protecting yourself from the sun's evil rays. 56:44.055 --> 56:45.696 But you can't do that under the biodome. 56:46.097 --> 56:46.877 That's true. 56:46.897 --> 56:47.618 What are you going to do? 56:47.638 --> 56:48.079 Well, you could. 56:48.119 --> 56:49.320 You could wear one of those wetsuits. 56:52.362 --> 56:55.084 Yeah, you don't think that would mark me out as being slightly eccentric. 56:55.185 --> 56:58.827 No, no, no, I think it's acceptable these days because let's face it nipples are obscene. 56:59.348 --> 57:00.229 They are disgusting. 57:00.549 --> 57:02.690 In this contemporary conservative climate. 57:02.710 --> 57:03.931 Yeah, especially hairy nipples. 57:04.072 --> 57:04.812 Men's nipples. 57:04.912 --> 57:06.894 It's time to conceal them properly. 57:06.914 --> 57:07.574 This is what I'm saying. 57:07.594 --> 57:08.135 Hairy nipples. 57:08.195 --> 57:10.437 Yeah, it's too much for children, for young children. 57:10.537 --> 57:15.821 So anyway, there's any number of things that could go right as you've pointed out, but there's a lot of things that could go wrong. 57:16.101 --> 57:18.142 You know what, I forgot this was a text-the-nation subject. 57:18.182 --> 57:18.842 Well, exactly. 57:18.962 --> 57:20.103 I thought we were just chatting. 57:20.123 --> 57:20.723 Just chatting. 57:20.823 --> 57:27.446 So, specifically, listeners, I'm curious about these kind of breaks that you've had that maybe have gone disastrously wrong. 57:27.846 --> 57:29.027 I'd like to know details. 57:29.487 --> 57:37.490 So don't forget, the text number is 64046, or for a long-emissive, adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 57:37.530 --> 57:40.052 So what is it again, just things that have gone wrong? 57:40.112 --> 57:42.753 Things that have gone wrong on specifically half-term holidays? 57:43.513 --> 57:48.475 Well, when you put it like that... I'm just trying to make it easier for the listeners. 57:48.515 --> 57:49.475 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 57:49.895 --> 57:57.858 So whether it's a caravanning holiday, you know, not specifically summer holidays, but short breaks with the family that have turned out to be a bit of a mayor. 57:57.958 --> 57:58.859 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 57:59.159 --> 58:00.279 Hey, listen, did you order a cab? 58:00.940 --> 58:01.600 Yes, I did. 58:01.640 --> 58:02.300 Has it arrived? 58:02.520 --> 58:02.800 Yeah. 58:03.320 --> 58:04.261 Did you order a death cab? 58:05.397 --> 58:08.459 Oh, no, I didn't want a death cab, I just wanted a normal cab. 58:09.880 --> 58:15.584 Also, I'm not technically a cutie, so I don't think it would... This cab is for cutie, isn't it? 58:15.724 --> 58:16.085 Is it not? 58:16.505 --> 58:18.146 This is called Meet Me at the Equinox. 58:18.566 --> 58:21.068 Meet me at the Equinox, that's death cab for cutie. 58:21.108 --> 58:24.651 I mean, we did a very sort of obvious intro into that, didn't we? 58:24.691 --> 58:27.132 That was like, there's a... When am I gonna get my chill cake? 58:27.773 --> 58:29.194 Oh, yeah, let's deal with that. 58:29.214 --> 58:33.277 So last week, listeners... I'm gonna do a little edit point here for the podcast. 58:33.317 --> 58:33.477 Yeah. 58:34.033 --> 58:37.816 Last week, listeners, we had a chill cake sent in to us. 58:38.236 --> 58:38.916 Is that going to work? 58:38.936 --> 58:44.961 That's a good idea, like just rehearsing it on the live show so that we can edit it for the podcast. 58:44.981 --> 58:45.281 Thanks. 58:46.262 --> 58:48.203 We were sent a chill cake by a listener. 58:48.283 --> 58:49.304 An actual chill cake. 58:49.904 --> 58:53.707 The listener's name is Tom Williamson, who lives in Liverpool. 58:54.687 --> 58:59.331 And some of our listeners were quite angry about our response to the chill cake. 58:59.351 --> 59:01.433 I mean, the chill cake, I think, had gone slightly off. 59:01.513 --> 59:04.375 It was made with fresh cream and posted from Liverpool. 59:04.675 --> 59:06.577 I think the cream may have been on the turn. 59:07.097 --> 59:15.864 And we did eat it, and that in and of itself is above and beyond the call of duty, because you're not really supposed to eat things that are sent in by listeners if you're a broadcaster. 59:17.465 --> 59:18.886 Is there any case history there? 59:19.827 --> 59:24.170 Have any presenters fallen foul of poisoned missives? 59:24.330 --> 59:29.114 I think Eamonn Holmes was in a coma for eight years after eating a poisoned caramak. 59:29.775 --> 59:30.535 A chill cake. 59:30.815 --> 59:32.437 I thought it was a spiked caramak. 59:33.257 --> 59:37.260 But anyway, yeah, so with stories like that going around, you can't be too careful. 59:37.701 --> 59:39.362 How would you spike a caramak? 59:39.802 --> 59:41.343 Um, I don't know. 59:41.383 --> 59:41.703 I don't know. 59:41.723 --> 59:42.923 We'll, we'll figure out a way. 59:43.043 --> 59:43.223 Yeah. 59:43.884 --> 59:49.606 But, uh, so anyway, poor old Tom, we were quite, uh, skeptical about his chill cake, but we did eat it. 59:49.806 --> 59:50.646 We did eat it. 59:50.806 --> 59:51.067 Yeah. 59:51.107 --> 59:51.487 Yeah. 59:51.527 --> 59:55.328 Well, there was a lot of Twitter tweeting was saying that we were ungrateful. 59:55.348 --> 59:55.608 Yeah. 59:55.828 --> 59:59.530 Oh, I'm angry with Adam and Joe cause they're so, they were so ungrateful to Tom. 59:59.670 --> 01:00:06.174 We made it clear during the show that we were very grateful to Tom and we thought it was a lovely gesture to have made a chill cake and sent it in. 01:00:06.194 --> 01:00:07.394 There's no pleasing some people. 01:00:07.494 --> 01:00:10.556 But if it tasted with the whole... What were we supposed to do? 01:00:11.417 --> 01:00:13.798 But Tom has sent us a nice little letter here. 01:00:14.158 --> 01:00:17.860 It's written in a barrow on a ripped-out piece of pad, which is quite nice, isn't it? 01:00:17.900 --> 01:00:18.981 Very nice. 01:00:19.021 --> 01:00:22.043 Dear Adam and Jo, I must apologise for sending you a dodgy chill cake. 01:00:22.363 --> 01:00:25.525 Something must have happened to it between Liverpool and London. 01:00:26.205 --> 01:00:32.314 I feel a bit bad for getting your hopes up after describing it as the cake equivalent of a Viscount biscuit. 01:00:33.115 --> 01:00:37.701 To try and make it up to you, here is something a lot safer, and he sent us a packet of biscuits. 01:00:38.146 --> 01:00:39.027 a packet of Viscounts. 01:00:39.107 --> 01:00:39.647 Check it out. 01:00:39.667 --> 01:00:41.128 Oh, let's have one of them. 01:00:41.389 --> 01:00:42.449 That's a sell-by date. 01:00:42.770 --> 01:00:43.710 It's the Chill Biscuit. 01:00:43.750 --> 01:00:44.171 Come on. 01:00:44.251 --> 01:00:44.591 They're all right. 01:00:44.611 --> 01:00:45.432 They're good till next year. 01:00:45.892 --> 01:00:46.452 Good till. 01:00:46.533 --> 01:00:47.073 Thank you, Tom. 01:00:47.093 --> 01:00:48.034 That's very kind of you. 01:00:48.334 --> 01:00:49.735 Yeah, that's very nice of you. 01:00:49.815 --> 01:00:51.336 And Williamson, not Wilkinson. 01:00:51.496 --> 01:00:52.737 I think we called him Wilkinson. 01:00:52.837 --> 01:00:53.258 Possibly. 01:00:53.298 --> 01:00:56.680 It was a cavalcade of inaccuracy and disrespect. 01:00:56.740 --> 01:00:57.321 As per usual. 01:00:57.381 --> 01:00:57.921 As per usual. 01:00:59.162 --> 01:01:21.785 sincere thank yous not just for these chill biscuits but for the chill cake it was really nice of you and we did very much appreciate it and we were just being jerks last week when we started laughing about it but it was quite funny because it tasted strange it tasted very odd and it was it suddenly occurred to us as we were eating it it was a stupid thing to be doing live on air like eating a cake that you don't really know anything about 01:01:22.130 --> 01:01:24.171 But how lovely to get a handwritten note there. 01:01:24.731 --> 01:01:25.251 Really nice. 01:01:25.491 --> 01:01:27.712 And so much character in his writing. 01:01:27.892 --> 01:01:29.212 I'm gonna eat this for you, Tom. 01:01:29.252 --> 01:01:29.612 Cheers. 01:01:29.713 --> 01:01:31.133 You just don't get that digitally. 01:01:31.153 --> 01:01:32.093 Look at that handwriting. 01:01:32.133 --> 01:01:33.394 It's expressing so much. 01:01:33.634 --> 01:01:36.015 Now that is a delicious chill biscuit. 01:01:36.315 --> 01:01:36.975 He's a dude. 01:01:37.255 --> 01:01:37.515 Thanks, man. 01:01:37.535 --> 01:01:40.196 That's the handwriting of a great guy. 01:01:40.356 --> 01:01:42.137 That's the handwriting of a Megadude, I think. 01:01:43.577 --> 01:01:44.078 Do you think? 01:01:44.178 --> 01:01:44.798 Definitely. 01:01:44.878 --> 01:01:46.519 Well, that's not something you can just bandy about. 01:01:46.539 --> 01:01:47.779 Oh, I think it says, doesn't it? 01:01:47.839 --> 01:01:48.840 Tom Williamson, M.D. 01:01:49.260 --> 01:01:49.560 Does it? 01:01:49.580 --> 01:01:50.841 It should do. 01:01:50.981 --> 01:01:53.002 We had an angry letter about Megadooddom. 01:01:53.422 --> 01:01:53.642 Really? 01:01:53.662 --> 01:01:59.805 Dear Adam and Jo, I just want to write to you to set the record straight regarding a person who wrote to you going by the name of The Megadude. 01:02:00.345 --> 01:02:03.586 He used to be a good friend of mine, but we've recently become sworn enemies. 01:02:04.087 --> 01:02:05.467 He's not a mega-dude at all. 01:02:05.847 --> 01:02:10.969 Okay, I'll admit it, he's a bit of a dude, but mega, please, hyper maybe, but even that's being generous. 01:02:11.710 --> 01:02:18.953 I had to laugh when I saw he was trying to get some publicity using your show, because everyone knows he still lives with his mum and has only ever done sex on himself. 01:02:19.873 --> 01:02:20.613 Mega-dude? 01:02:21.314 --> 01:02:22.474 Yours, Lord Seggs. 01:02:23.094 --> 01:02:26.516 I mean, that's relating back to something we mentioned several weeks ago, isn't it? 01:02:26.736 --> 01:02:28.297 Why on earth would you read that out? 01:02:28.537 --> 01:02:29.197 Well, I just did. 01:02:30.406 --> 01:02:33.008 Regular listeners to the show will remember the Megadude. 01:02:33.108 --> 01:02:33.908 Megadude News. 01:02:34.108 --> 01:02:35.509 And the fuss we made about it. 01:02:35.729 --> 01:02:36.610 Thanks for that update. 01:02:36.690 --> 01:02:39.291 And I just, it was in mine, I popped that email in mine. 01:02:39.391 --> 01:02:43.694 No, it was totally 100% relevant to the Megadude conversation. 01:02:44.074 --> 01:02:46.456 We've got a free play coming up, Joe, and I think it's got your name on it. 01:02:46.476 --> 01:02:47.936 Yeah, this is the Boards of Canada. 01:02:47.956 --> 01:02:49.077 Do you know about them, Adam? 01:02:49.097 --> 01:02:49.557 Love them. 01:02:49.958 --> 01:02:51.879 They do Electronica, don't they, kind of thing. 01:02:52.079 --> 01:02:52.919 Yeah, they're very great. 01:02:52.959 --> 01:02:55.721 Peter Serafinowicz and Robert Popper got me into them. 01:02:56.281 --> 01:03:00.202 This is from the album Music Has the Right to Children, which is for... Is it really from 1998? 01:03:00.342 --> 01:03:00.622 Yes. 01:03:00.862 --> 01:03:02.462 That long ago? 01:03:02.482 --> 01:03:04.103 That's a brilliant album. 01:03:04.143 --> 01:03:06.143 That's the album to start with, if you don't know about them. 01:03:06.383 --> 01:03:07.143 This is a good track. 01:03:07.183 --> 01:03:09.724 It's very long, so we'll try and play you a decent chunk of it. 01:03:09.744 --> 01:03:13.385 This is called Aquarius, and it features people saying the word orange. 01:03:13.865 --> 01:03:14.225 Oh, yes, I would. 01:03:14.245 --> 01:03:16.145 And children telling them that they're correct. 01:03:16.385 --> 01:03:16.745 Here it is. 01:03:17.706 --> 01:03:18.726 Six music. 01:03:19.206 --> 01:03:24.067 Today from two... I'm in a cave with Nick Cave. 01:03:24.087 --> 01:03:24.587 Good night, mate. 01:03:25.481 --> 01:03:49.667 From midday I'm on like a terrible phone line But now it's Adam and Joe That's a track by Animal Collective there, that's Summertime Clothes taken from their album Merryweather Post Pavilion which came out at the very beginning of this year featuring the cast of Stomp which is great that they would work together in that way 01:03:50.527 --> 01:03:51.769 Is that too stumpy for you, Swampy? 01:03:51.829 --> 01:03:52.269 It was good. 01:03:52.329 --> 01:03:53.050 No, it was very good. 01:03:53.170 --> 01:03:55.593 I've never heard Dustbin Lids used so effectively. 01:03:55.693 --> 01:03:57.996 It's one of the albums of the year, Merriweather Post Pavilion. 01:03:58.576 --> 01:03:59.678 In my humble opinion. 01:04:00.078 --> 01:04:00.338 Yeah? 01:04:00.518 --> 01:04:02.461 Have you drawn up your Albums of the Year list yet? 01:04:02.641 --> 01:04:02.881 No. 01:04:03.662 --> 01:04:05.004 The year we make contact. 01:04:05.564 --> 01:04:06.424 It's amazing, isn't it? 01:04:06.484 --> 01:04:12.006 Imagine Helen Mirren, who else is up there in that spaceship? 01:04:12.986 --> 01:04:14.226 John Lithgow's a Russian, isn't he? 01:04:15.387 --> 01:04:17.227 I prefer 2010 to 2001. 01:04:17.587 --> 01:04:18.207 It's a better film. 01:04:18.387 --> 01:04:19.948 It's got a more upbeat ending. 01:04:20.068 --> 01:04:20.508 That's right. 01:04:20.608 --> 01:04:22.489 They explain the monolith. 01:04:22.509 --> 01:04:23.889 It makes a little bit of sense. 01:04:24.549 --> 01:04:25.609 Say what they are, Stanley Kubrick. 01:04:25.629 --> 01:04:28.250 I'm making a little bit of sense, Mr. Kubrick. 01:04:28.270 --> 01:04:34.873 Don't be all abstract with your giant... You don't need your 20 minutes of paint falling over the camera at the end. 01:04:34.893 --> 01:04:39.755 Just get Roy Schneider to tell us what's in them with words. 01:04:39.775 --> 01:04:41.575 A little rumpo with Kate Mirren. 01:04:42.716 --> 01:04:44.056 Leslie Mirren, what's her name? 01:04:44.096 --> 01:04:44.417 Helen. 01:04:45.177 --> 01:04:53.080 Now listen folks, it's time that we announce the winners of our Electric Proms Song Wars competition, for which we don't have a jingle, it feels like... 01:04:54.881 --> 01:04:56.082 I did some electric noises. 01:04:56.102 --> 01:04:57.263 I love Croc Proms! 01:04:58.163 --> 01:05:01.686 The song was competition, session, session, session. 01:05:01.766 --> 01:05:06.890 All right, that's how we would do it, if there was a jingle. 01:05:07.791 --> 01:05:18.719 And just to remind you, if you don't know what we're talking about, we asked people about three or four weeks ago to go onto the blog to check out the instrumental versions of some of our old song wars tunes. 01:05:18.759 --> 01:05:21.321 It was Joe's Quantum of Solace song and My Nutty Room song. 01:05:21.741 --> 01:05:28.310 And we asked them to send in videos of themselves just singing along to those songs or doing an interpretation of those songs. 01:05:28.971 --> 01:05:33.257 And we had some great entries that came in and we have made our decisions right now. 01:05:33.418 --> 01:05:37.744 So do you want to say anything about your runners up, Joe, or are you just going to go straight into your winner? 01:05:37.964 --> 01:05:42.545 Well, I've written a little thing that'll go up on the blog that has some runners up. 01:05:42.625 --> 01:05:50.787 I'd say the runners up that really stood out for me were the wonderful Emmett family who also entered our Video Wars competition. 01:05:50.807 --> 01:05:52.067 Do you remember their Video Wars entry? 01:05:52.087 --> 01:05:52.447 Sure I do. 01:05:52.467 --> 01:05:53.988 I mean, it was really spectacular. 01:05:54.428 --> 01:06:07.311 And they are role models for Broken Britain because they're a very unified family where mother and father and son and daughter work together to achieve something greater than the sum of their parts 01:06:07.891 --> 01:06:24.714 and their video is extraordinary it's um a sort of beautifully choreographed flip chart based you know it's got lab coats and there's a whole intro spiel and the whole family dances i love to see families dance when's the last time your whole family just danced 01:06:25.875 --> 01:06:27.377 Um, you know, I can't remember. 01:06:27.397 --> 01:06:29.339 I mean, you'll be doing it at Centre Parks, probably. 01:06:29.419 --> 01:06:29.860 Sure we will. 01:06:30.060 --> 01:06:32.022 Yeah, on the final big night barbecue. 01:06:32.322 --> 01:06:33.603 No, I wish we danced more often. 01:06:33.623 --> 01:06:34.484 It's a beautiful sight. 01:06:34.665 --> 01:06:41.592 So the Emmett family I'd pick out and also the other people I would pick out would be Al Ronald, I think his name was, and Cy Henty. 01:06:42.072 --> 01:06:57.624 who did an extraordinary video as well but we'll put links to the runners up on the blog maybe but my winner is a gentleman called Ben Mercer and Ben's done a brilliant kind of acoustic guitar version of the song we'll play you a little clip here this is Ben a tiny clip of Ben Mercer's winning entry 01:07:05.638 --> 01:07:13.549 You see he manages to make it sound really good he sounds like Jamie T there 01:07:22.762 --> 01:07:30.673 Yeah yeah he's good and you should take a look at him with your eyes because he's a contemporary customer and he's opening a new shop and it's going to be very popular. 01:07:30.713 --> 01:07:31.995 He's got skinny trousers. 01:07:32.135 --> 01:07:37.883 He really does and his name's Ben Mercer and I'm very honoured and privileged that he's going to be representing me and 01:07:38.824 --> 01:07:43.947 Kornball's International Torpedo Systems, PLC, at the Song Wars battle. 01:07:43.967 --> 01:07:45.968 Because let's not forget this is a battle. 01:07:46.188 --> 01:07:46.828 It is a battle. 01:07:46.989 --> 01:07:47.769 What are you going to do then? 01:07:47.909 --> 01:07:50.971 Are you going to collaborate with him on a rendition? 01:07:50.991 --> 01:07:52.331 No, I'm going to just let him do his thing. 01:07:52.351 --> 01:07:52.992 Let him do his thing? 01:07:53.012 --> 01:07:56.854 I'm not going to go and urinate on his fries. 01:07:59.655 --> 01:08:01.416 Am I he's got a lovely portion of fries. 01:08:01.436 --> 01:08:02.877 I'm not gonna slam my fist in there. 01:08:03.117 --> 01:08:05.738 No, why would you why would I do that in his chips? 01:08:06.798 --> 01:08:17.283 My runners-up, let me tell you ladies and gentlemen I got some really nice entries and I did my best to go and leave a little comment on all the YouTube clips that I was made aware of and 01:08:17.703 --> 01:08:25.629 Sorry if I've missed any, but I really enjoyed a short film by, well, it was a short, you know, like a short video by... Christoph Kyslowski. 01:08:25.689 --> 01:08:26.729 Yeah, I just thought it was great. 01:08:26.749 --> 01:08:29.531 And I was amazed that he entered the competition. 01:08:29.591 --> 01:08:30.572 I mean, he's dead. 01:08:30.612 --> 01:08:31.433 He's no longer alive. 01:08:31.793 --> 01:08:32.033 I know. 01:08:32.654 --> 01:08:39.118 Rob Watts and Steve Gardner, however, are alive and they entered, they actually came round last weekend. 01:08:39.218 --> 01:08:39.859 To your house? 01:08:39.899 --> 01:08:41.760 No, to film us outside the... Oh, yeah. 01:08:42.040 --> 01:08:43.902 They were waiting outside the BBC building. 01:08:43.942 --> 01:08:47.705 They wanted to do a little bit of stalking with us, and it was very funny. 01:08:47.725 --> 01:08:50.427 You can see the results on YouTube, so thanks for that, chaps. 01:08:50.907 --> 01:08:57.292 Rushka Moore, she did a really nice... She had a lovely voice as well, and she was singing away and drawing a moustache on her face. 01:08:57.312 --> 01:08:58.273 What happened to it? 01:08:58.293 --> 01:08:59.013 Well, she's a runner-up. 01:08:59.314 --> 01:09:00.274 Okay. 01:09:00.334 --> 01:09:06.940 She also had a lovely picture of Bowie in the background there and changed the Nutty Room lyrics to reflect our affection for Bowie. 01:09:08.020 --> 01:09:11.301 Ben Adams, he was dressed up in a Superman costume on the toilet. 01:09:11.761 --> 01:09:12.061 Yes. 01:09:12.222 --> 01:09:15.202 I've got that same Superman costume, Ben, and I was very impressed. 01:09:15.383 --> 01:09:17.183 I mean, it was a very... And you've got a toilet. 01:09:17.443 --> 01:09:18.023 I've got a toilet. 01:09:18.043 --> 01:09:18.784 You should be friends. 01:09:18.824 --> 01:09:26.146 You should be buddies, and he's got a little beard as well, which I currently don't have, but when I grow my new one, let's hang out, Ben. 01:09:26.786 --> 01:09:27.406 I'm not serious. 01:09:29.207 --> 01:09:30.989 What sort of thing is that to say? 01:09:31.550 --> 01:09:32.771 I just can't bring myself. 01:09:32.911 --> 01:09:33.592 You idiot hole. 01:09:34.573 --> 01:09:36.275 I am serious Ben, you look really great. 01:09:36.335 --> 01:09:38.838 We should hang out, but there's just no time. 01:09:39.399 --> 01:09:43.304 But the winners... Sorry, that's, um, Noggins the horse. 01:09:45.206 --> 01:09:45.806 Just come through. 01:09:45.847 --> 01:09:46.307 Come on Noggins. 01:09:47.694 --> 01:09:50.096 Someone get that for us an apple. 01:09:50.136 --> 01:09:51.156 Listen, Ben, come on. 01:09:51.797 --> 01:09:52.397 Let's get together. 01:09:53.678 --> 01:09:56.200 Dids and Trish, however, are my winners. 01:09:56.960 --> 01:10:00.663 They sent in a really nice close harmony version of Nutty Room. 01:10:00.683 --> 01:10:01.543 Let's hear a little clip. 01:10:01.743 --> 01:10:02.344 Nutty. 01:10:02.364 --> 01:10:06.727 I am a nutty man, I'm sitting in my nutty room. 01:10:06.747 --> 01:10:12.370 I am cutting some bits of human skin to make into a pick-a-coo. 01:10:12.791 --> 01:10:14.792 That's the food for the cops and 01:10:15.461 --> 01:10:16.381 Very nice indeed. 01:10:16.861 --> 01:10:23.703 They work in a local pub in Cornwall, and Dids is also an artist extraordinaire. 01:10:23.763 --> 01:10:27.443 Trish designs stuff and sells her own range of luxury umbrellas. 01:10:27.943 --> 01:10:30.204 They say they're both fairly crafty and eat a lot of cake. 01:10:30.744 --> 01:10:35.565 I'm very much looking forward to meeting you, Dids and Trish, and congratulations for being my winners. 01:10:36.665 --> 01:10:37.405 So what are we going to do? 01:10:37.425 --> 01:10:39.746 We're going to battle out Dids and Trish against Ben. 01:10:40.726 --> 01:10:44.447 Well, I suppose we could do as long as it was a fun battle. 01:10:44.688 --> 01:10:44.988 Yeah. 01:10:45.048 --> 01:10:45.428 A fattle. 01:10:46.188 --> 01:10:46.628 A fattle. 01:10:46.668 --> 01:10:49.669 You know, I don't think there's any point in making it a competition at that stage. 01:10:49.729 --> 01:10:50.050 No. 01:10:50.770 --> 01:10:52.410 It's just a celebration at that stage. 01:10:52.791 --> 01:10:54.231 There'll be a sense of who's won, though. 01:10:54.571 --> 01:10:55.992 There's going to be a lot of kissing, though, right? 01:10:56.012 --> 01:10:57.092 There will be a lot of kissing. 01:10:57.212 --> 01:10:59.693 I mean, you're going to win because you're Mr. Live Performance. 01:11:00.313 --> 01:11:00.834 Oh, OK. 01:11:00.954 --> 01:11:04.075 In terms of, like, our general shoddiness. 01:11:04.715 --> 01:11:07.256 But, you know, it's going to be a big love-in. 01:11:07.596 --> 01:11:09.637 And in greater terms, I'm Mr. Live Performance. 01:11:10.137 --> 01:11:10.337 Yeah. 01:11:10.357 --> 01:11:11.579 That's what I'm known as on the set. 01:11:12.200 --> 01:11:13.801 Really? 01:11:13.861 --> 01:11:16.044 Michael Keaton's going to play you in a film of that name. 01:11:16.104 --> 01:11:17.966 Dylan Morin's going to do the warm up. 01:11:18.547 --> 01:11:20.549 Here it comes, Mr. Live Performance! 01:11:23.252 --> 01:11:24.393 It's not so far fetched. 01:11:24.994 --> 01:11:35.261 No, I think both those winners are going to do a terrific job, and we're both hugely grateful to everyone who entered, because let's face it, this competition was saved from the jaws of ignominy by our listeners' response. 01:11:35.321 --> 01:11:42.406 You know, for the first week we had no entries, and every single person who entered we're hugely grateful to for saving our reputation. 01:11:42.666 --> 01:11:45.108 We would have been the laughingstock of the castle. 01:11:45.148 --> 01:11:47.149 Vernon Kaye would have been pelting us with rotten fruit. 01:11:47.769 --> 01:11:52.893 Brucey would have been making scandalous comments about us, but you've saved our reputation listeners, so thank you. 01:11:53.073 --> 01:11:54.034 Yeah, thank you so much. 01:11:54.094 --> 01:11:55.975 We really enjoy watching every single one of those. 01:11:56.515 --> 01:12:00.038 Here's Devundra Burn Heart with Bebe. 01:12:01.059 --> 01:12:03.500 Dr. John there with Right Play Strong Time. 01:12:03.520 --> 01:12:06.242 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music. 01:12:06.262 --> 01:12:08.404 Very nice to be with you this Saturday morning listeners. 01:12:09.104 --> 01:12:11.386 And I think it's time we had some made up jokes, don't you? 01:12:11.466 --> 01:12:12.287 Here's the Jingle Jungle. 01:12:13.247 --> 01:12:30.127 I'm a funny person, I often make up jokes My jokes are more amusing than those of other folks When you hear my joke I think you'll find that you agree Come on, you're all invited to a made up joke party 01:12:31.588 --> 01:12:40.135 We are getting more and more of these things sent up, just to remind you, if you're not familiar with this section, it's not lame jokes, it's made-up jokes, right? 01:12:40.155 --> 01:12:42.277 They have to be authored by yourself. 01:12:42.817 --> 01:12:49.603 So, if it's just a case of some very simple wordplay and a little pun, which probably has been made many times before, 01:12:50.143 --> 01:12:51.303 I wouldn't bother sending that in. 01:12:51.484 --> 01:12:53.944 Send us your really tortured insane ones, okay? 01:12:53.964 --> 01:12:55.625 That's the ones that we're particularly interested in. 01:12:55.885 --> 01:13:01.187 But then if you do have one that's just an absolute peach and you're convinced that you made it up, we'd like to hear that one too. 01:13:01.707 --> 01:13:07.469 For example, I'll get you started with a slightly nomic one from Richard Harrison. 01:13:08.129 --> 01:13:12.931 He says, imagine my disappointment when I went to Selfridges and found out they didn't sell fridges. 01:13:14.528 --> 01:13:14.808 Nice. 01:13:15.268 --> 01:13:15.448 Yeah? 01:13:15.748 --> 01:13:16.088 Yeah. 01:13:16.549 --> 01:13:17.889 I would say that's not made up. 01:13:18.369 --> 01:13:18.809 You reckon? 01:13:18.889 --> 01:13:19.069 Yeah. 01:13:19.269 --> 01:13:20.109 I'm pretty confident. 01:13:20.690 --> 01:13:22.770 I mean, it's good, but I think it's got a heritage. 01:13:23.130 --> 01:13:23.951 I think it's used. 01:13:24.271 --> 01:13:25.691 I mean, it's fairly... It's second hand. 01:13:25.771 --> 01:13:26.871 It's a little obvious, I suppose. 01:13:26.911 --> 01:13:27.451 But it's good. 01:13:27.511 --> 01:13:28.472 It definitely works. 01:13:28.712 --> 01:13:29.112 I like it. 01:13:29.552 --> 01:13:30.312 What about this one? 01:13:30.332 --> 01:13:31.573 I'm not sure about this one. 01:13:31.613 --> 01:13:33.133 This is from Josh Sparrow. 01:13:33.613 --> 01:13:34.193 Hi, Adam and Jo. 01:13:34.233 --> 01:13:37.214 I've made up a joke that I've been testing out with various people. 01:13:37.254 --> 01:13:40.135 It's received a range of responses so far. 01:13:41.095 --> 01:13:41.435 Here we go. 01:13:41.495 --> 01:13:44.918 Did I tell you about the new keyboard that I bought from the music shop recently? 01:13:45.378 --> 01:13:46.479 I think it may be broken. 01:13:46.779 --> 01:13:48.240 It only seems to play Wagner. 01:13:48.760 --> 01:13:50.561 I think it must be a Nazi synthesizer. 01:13:53.923 --> 01:13:54.784 That's quite good, isn't it? 01:13:54.844 --> 01:13:55.785 From Josh Sparrow. 01:13:56.125 --> 01:13:56.905 That is good. 01:13:58.046 --> 01:14:00.988 Here's one from Sarah or Sarah. 01:14:01.969 --> 01:14:04.370 She says, I didn't make this up, but my best friend did. 01:14:04.410 --> 01:14:06.872 And I feel she deserves due recognition for her efforts. 01:14:07.412 --> 01:14:08.893 Where does the Nutty Professor work? 01:14:10.856 --> 01:14:12.058 Oh, I don't know, Tommy. 01:14:12.298 --> 01:14:13.000 In Macadamia. 01:14:15.430 --> 01:14:16.310 Yeah, yeah, good. 01:14:17.171 --> 01:14:17.651 That's good. 01:14:17.751 --> 01:14:18.772 She says it made me laugh. 01:14:18.832 --> 01:14:22.934 Her name is Nancy Ockendon, and she and her husband Rick are avid fans. 01:14:22.974 --> 01:14:23.834 They'll be dead chuffed. 01:14:24.034 --> 01:14:24.494 That's good. 01:14:24.554 --> 01:14:25.255 Nut jokes are good. 01:14:25.275 --> 01:14:27.356 We get quite a few cheese jokes as well. 01:14:28.756 --> 01:14:29.797 He's an academic. 01:14:29.817 --> 01:14:32.478 You get quite a lot of mascarpone jokes, don't we? 01:14:32.498 --> 01:14:32.798 Yes. 01:14:32.858 --> 01:14:36.200 We've had a load of complicated jokes about masking a pony. 01:14:36.240 --> 01:14:36.560 Cheese. 01:14:36.680 --> 01:14:37.861 I mean cheese, yeah. 01:14:38.241 --> 01:14:38.441 Yeah. 01:14:38.701 --> 01:14:39.681 After dinner snacks. 01:14:40.302 --> 01:14:42.623 How about this one from Amy and Earl in Sydney? 01:14:44.076 --> 01:14:45.077 This is our made up joke. 01:14:45.337 --> 01:14:54.267 How do you get a samurai, his wife, a bandit, a psychic, a woodcutter, a priest, a commoner and a baby on stage as quickly as possible? 01:14:55.388 --> 01:14:55.749 Rashomon. 01:14:57.098 --> 01:14:57.598 Rashomon. 01:14:58.459 --> 01:14:58.979 Rashomon. 01:14:59.399 --> 01:15:00.480 It's a Kurosawa film. 01:15:01.020 --> 01:15:01.980 With all those people in it. 01:15:02.000 --> 01:15:02.160 Yeah. 01:15:02.521 --> 01:15:03.261 It's very famous. 01:15:03.301 --> 01:15:04.702 That is a chucklesome little joke. 01:15:04.742 --> 01:15:05.722 Come on. 01:15:06.082 --> 01:15:07.223 That's fun for film though. 01:15:07.323 --> 01:15:09.264 I'm pretty sure I've heard Jimmy Carr telling that one. 01:15:09.284 --> 01:15:09.504 Yeah. 01:15:09.584 --> 01:15:10.464 That's a very old joke. 01:15:12.065 --> 01:15:13.185 Rashomon. 01:15:15.807 --> 01:15:16.707 Here's one from Steve. 01:15:17.107 --> 01:15:17.807 Hi Adam and Joe. 01:15:17.847 --> 01:15:19.908 My girlfriend made this joke up a few years ago. 01:15:20.088 --> 01:15:21.429 Where is contentment made? 01:15:22.410 --> 01:15:23.310 A satisfactory. 01:15:23.792 --> 01:15:24.453 Oh, that's good. 01:15:24.533 --> 01:15:25.473 That is a good one. 01:15:25.533 --> 01:15:27.635 That's very good, but that's so good, you see. 01:15:27.735 --> 01:15:28.015 Yeah. 01:15:28.396 --> 01:15:30.037 I can't quite believe that's homemade. 01:15:30.177 --> 01:15:31.018 I do believe that's home. 01:15:31.058 --> 01:15:33.480 I've never heard that one before, and it never even occurred to me. 01:15:33.500 --> 01:15:33.940 Really? 01:15:33.960 --> 01:15:34.080 Yeah. 01:15:34.220 --> 01:15:34.901 Oh, that's very good. 01:15:34.921 --> 01:15:35.541 Who's that, pie? 01:15:36.142 --> 01:15:38.604 Uh, Steve says his girlfriend made it up a few years ago. 01:15:38.884 --> 01:15:40.705 Maximum respect Steve's girlfriend. 01:15:40.725 --> 01:15:41.886 She's a girlfriend. 01:15:41.906 --> 01:15:42.527 She's nice, too. 01:15:42.607 --> 01:15:43.207 Ooh, look at her. 01:15:43.267 --> 01:15:44.028 She's fine. 01:15:44.068 --> 01:15:45.129 Look at that bit of her. 01:15:45.149 --> 01:15:46.530 Look at the jokes she made up. 01:15:46.590 --> 01:15:47.391 Yeah, she's nice. 01:15:47.491 --> 01:15:49.292 Ooh, that is a nice joke. 01:15:50.373 --> 01:15:50.973 Whatever I mean. 01:15:52.354 --> 01:15:54.896 Don't make a joke at my expense, though, otherwise there'll be trouble. 01:15:55.976 --> 01:15:57.037 That's what that man would say. 01:15:57.177 --> 01:15:58.378 Sure, you got another joke there? 01:15:58.518 --> 01:15:58.718 Yeah. 01:16:00.039 --> 01:16:00.599 You ready for it? 01:16:00.639 --> 01:16:01.099 Yeah, go on. 01:16:01.700 --> 01:16:02.680 Hello again, Adam and Jo. 01:16:03.220 --> 01:16:04.541 This is someone who's sent in several jokes. 01:16:04.621 --> 01:16:06.642 Okay, so you didn't like my first original joke. 01:16:06.682 --> 01:16:07.563 Here's my second attempt. 01:16:07.603 --> 01:16:08.563 It's on a similar theme. 01:16:08.623 --> 01:16:09.864 This is from Stewart in York. 01:16:10.665 --> 01:16:12.125 Oliver Cromwell in King Charles. 01:16:13.206 --> 01:16:35.684 the first are driving down the street in a car yes a car and they're pulled over by the police they both step out of the car as the policeman walks up to them is there a problem officer asks Oliver Cromwell well not with you sir but it's your friend over there the policeman says pointing to king james the first i don't like his cavalier attitude is that the punch line 01:16:36.585 --> 01:16:37.085 Hello, what? 01:16:37.225 --> 01:16:37.866 That was a punchline. 01:16:37.906 --> 01:16:38.146 Yeah. 01:16:38.306 --> 01:16:39.567 That's very... Cavalier. 01:16:39.587 --> 01:16:40.007 Cavalier. 01:16:40.027 --> 01:16:40.967 Of course it is, yeah. 01:16:41.147 --> 01:16:42.448 But it's nice because it's laboured, isn't it? 01:16:42.468 --> 01:16:43.248 The build-up's laboured. 01:16:43.268 --> 01:16:44.149 Certainly it's laboured. 01:16:44.509 --> 01:16:46.250 That's a very nice laboured setup. 01:16:46.810 --> 01:16:51.492 Here's a pithy one from Ben in Glasgow, who's aged 14, he tells us. 01:16:51.552 --> 01:16:53.093 And that's impressive, I think. 01:16:53.113 --> 01:16:53.633 To be aged 14. 01:16:54.234 --> 01:16:54.614 Yeah. 01:16:54.934 --> 01:16:57.075 Imagine getting oil in this day and age. 01:16:57.355 --> 01:16:59.456 A cowboy walks into a German garage. 01:16:59.696 --> 01:17:00.317 What does he say? 01:17:00.337 --> 01:17:01.978 I don't know. 01:17:02.678 --> 01:17:02.878 Audi. 01:17:06.856 --> 01:17:07.616 That's good. 01:17:07.696 --> 01:17:08.837 Ben in Glasgow aged 14. 01:17:09.837 --> 01:17:12.399 I mean, if you're coming out with those at 14... That's amazing. 01:17:12.419 --> 01:17:13.800 Imagine what he's going to be coming out with at 16. 01:17:13.840 --> 01:17:18.363 You're going to have your own pretty middle-of-the-road TV show by the time you're 20. 01:17:18.863 --> 01:17:21.725 Dear Adam and Jo, I thought up the following joke today. 01:17:22.025 --> 01:17:24.387 What do sharks do to earn pocket money? 01:17:25.600 --> 01:17:26.000 Chores. 01:17:26.981 --> 01:17:29.002 I hope you like it, Jonathan Cobb. 01:17:29.362 --> 01:17:30.182 That's quite good, isn't it? 01:17:30.222 --> 01:17:32.843 You know what, I didn't get it when I read it in the email. 01:17:32.943 --> 01:17:33.303 Really? 01:17:33.483 --> 01:17:33.884 Yeah. 01:17:34.504 --> 01:17:34.904 Chores. 01:17:34.924 --> 01:17:35.384 Chores. 01:17:35.404 --> 01:17:37.685 That's quite good. 01:17:38.486 --> 01:17:39.266 That's very good. 01:17:40.046 --> 01:17:40.547 You got any more? 01:17:40.627 --> 01:17:42.327 Yeah, I've got hundreds of them. 01:17:42.487 --> 01:17:43.928 I've got literally millions. 01:17:44.128 --> 01:17:45.189 Alright, you're allowed one more. 01:17:46.509 --> 01:17:47.790 I'm trying to find a good one. 01:17:48.830 --> 01:17:55.757 Hello Adam and Jo, this is my joke that I made up, and you can tell I made it up because my name is Lee, and the joke involves my name, Lee. 01:17:56.578 --> 01:17:57.158 Here goes. 01:17:57.879 --> 01:18:00.061 What did oil of you lay used to be called? 01:18:02.103 --> 01:18:03.525 I love you Lee. 01:18:12.302 --> 01:18:13.362 Why did I read that out? 01:18:14.563 --> 01:18:15.923 Why did you read that out? 01:18:15.963 --> 01:18:17.083 That's not a joke. 01:18:17.423 --> 01:18:18.584 Because it's in green. 01:18:18.664 --> 01:18:21.124 It's just words with his name in it. 01:18:21.184 --> 01:18:23.425 He said it in green and it attracted my eyes. 01:18:24.405 --> 01:18:28.266 He's a free play for you listeners. 01:18:28.406 --> 01:18:30.907 This is the BG's with You Should Be Dancing. 01:18:30.927 --> 01:18:35.588 We said it before that that's very reminiscent of Spy Who Loved Me or A Bond, isn't it? 01:18:36.028 --> 01:18:39.950 Yeah, well, I think they probably kind of vaguely ripped it off for the Bond film, didn't they? 01:18:40.090 --> 01:18:40.670 That's a good way. 01:18:40.690 --> 01:18:41.510 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:18:41.530 --> 01:18:42.171 I love that track. 01:18:42.671 --> 01:18:44.552 Can't beat the Bee Gees with a big stick. 01:18:44.912 --> 01:18:45.912 Not even if you want to. 01:18:46.132 --> 01:18:51.594 Can't beat James Bond with a sort of ski pole with a gun in it. 01:18:52.195 --> 01:18:52.455 No. 01:18:52.475 --> 01:18:54.295 Because he dodges out the way, then does a back flip. 01:18:54.476 --> 01:18:54.936 Exactly. 01:18:54.956 --> 01:18:56.676 That's typical Bond. 01:18:56.957 --> 01:19:01.058 Adam and Jo here on 6 Music. 01:19:01.218 --> 01:19:01.718 Just gone 11.30. 01:19:01.758 --> 01:19:02.879 Time for the news. 01:19:03.059 --> 01:19:05.100 See, I like the end of that song, James. 01:19:06.286 --> 01:19:08.127 But like the beginning and the middle part? 01:19:09.287 --> 01:19:10.808 It's a bit too poppy, do you think? 01:19:11.328 --> 01:19:13.249 For this kind of a show, you know? 01:19:13.269 --> 01:19:17.051 This is a very, very highbrow show, James. 01:19:17.151 --> 01:19:18.371 An intellectual program. 01:19:18.391 --> 01:19:19.972 It's very edgy and we play a lot of it. 01:19:19.992 --> 01:19:22.073 Our listeners are patronised by that type of rhythm. 01:19:22.273 --> 01:19:23.134 Yeah, they really are. 01:19:23.254 --> 01:19:24.856 And they're very opinionated, our listeners. 01:19:24.936 --> 01:19:25.496 Very opinionated. 01:19:25.516 --> 01:19:27.298 You know, they won't let us get away with anything. 01:19:27.398 --> 01:19:30.181 And they certainly won't let you, James, the producer, get away with anything. 01:19:30.481 --> 01:19:34.064 They didn't let the 14-year-old boy from Glasgow get away with the Audi joke. 01:19:34.125 --> 01:19:40.691 People are very angry about the Audi joke being paraded in front of them as that boys, you know, work. 01:19:40.911 --> 01:19:46.617 Well, Ben from Glasgow, I'm afraid it looks as if Tim Vine has maybe got there before you, Ben. 01:19:46.878 --> 01:19:49.460 Tim Vine has more or less got in before absolutely everyone. 01:19:49.560 --> 01:19:52.764 You know, we've already established it is possible for two people to think of the same jokes of Ben. 01:19:52.804 --> 01:19:53.204 You shouldn't. 01:19:53.625 --> 01:19:58.770 You're just as clever as Tim Vine, which, you know, might be a good thing, might cause problems for you later. 01:19:59.631 --> 01:20:00.692 No, man, it's a good thing. 01:20:00.772 --> 01:20:05.955 Tim Vine is a joke genius, and if you're on the same territory as Vine, then you've got to be doing something right. 01:20:06.416 --> 01:20:12.680 But I don't believe that these people are sending them in, deliberately having stolen them, plucked them from the Vine. 01:20:12.700 --> 01:20:13.380 Sounds like you do. 01:20:13.761 --> 01:20:14.301 No, I don't. 01:20:14.461 --> 01:20:16.382 I'm standing up for them. 01:20:16.502 --> 01:20:19.444 I think, Ben, what do I think? 01:20:19.965 --> 01:20:21.025 I don't know what you think. 01:20:21.566 --> 01:20:23.247 Whatever's popular, that's what you think. 01:20:23.947 --> 01:20:26.369 Oh, you really meant that, didn't you? 01:20:26.389 --> 01:20:28.990 Did Honda Cornish you with your torpedo? 01:20:30.111 --> 01:20:32.333 Let's get into some, um, some Texanations. 01:20:32.373 --> 01:20:34.814 Let's have the jingle from a real Russian sent this in. 01:20:34.874 --> 01:20:35.274 Here it is. 01:20:51.055 --> 01:20:58.743 Like, we assumed that was someone doing a sort of Borat job on the Textination jingle, but we are assured, although it might just be another tissue of your eyes. 01:20:58.883 --> 01:20:59.884 It might just be. 01:21:01.025 --> 01:21:02.607 That it's a real Russian man. 01:21:02.847 --> 01:21:04.049 Anyway, let's not dwell on that. 01:21:04.089 --> 01:21:06.271 Let's get into this week's Textination. 01:21:06.311 --> 01:21:07.532 What's the subject this week, Adam? 01:21:08.633 --> 01:21:09.775 Ah, pinning me down, eh? 01:21:09.855 --> 01:21:10.215 Yeah. 01:21:10.575 --> 01:21:12.437 Well, we were thinking about... 01:21:13.038 --> 01:21:22.144 kind of family excursions that you've had, not necessarily summer holidays, but half-term breaks and things like that that have maybe been less than enjoyable. 01:21:23.385 --> 01:21:24.026 Is that good enough? 01:21:24.046 --> 01:21:25.547 Does that fit in with what you've got? 01:21:25.567 --> 01:21:26.167 Yeah, it does. 01:21:26.307 --> 01:21:31.971 It's kind of nightmare holiday stories with a sort of peculiar proviso that they have to be half-term. 01:21:32.752 --> 01:21:35.794 That doesn't really probably impact on the stories themselves. 01:21:36.414 --> 01:21:40.495 Are there any, like... Are we looking at something that's uniquely half-term based? 01:21:40.555 --> 01:21:43.456 Don't ask me more questions! 01:21:44.276 --> 01:21:46.636 Just read out what you've got! 01:21:46.716 --> 01:21:49.257 Okay, this is from Gary in his shed. 01:21:49.937 --> 01:21:53.578 Dear Adam and Jo, I once went to centre parks at the tender age of 16. 01:21:54.978 --> 01:21:58.859 On arrival, I ran to pool, excited at the prospect of the flume. 01:21:58.899 --> 01:22:02.280 Halfway down my big toe caught a rough joint on the slide and my nail was ripped off. 01:22:05.158 --> 01:22:06.959 I mean, that's... Ouchie poo poo. 01:22:07.019 --> 01:22:07.960 That's terrible. 01:22:08.180 --> 01:22:08.961 That's terrible. 01:22:09.001 --> 01:22:13.645 I mean, I'm sure their slides are much more smooth now. 01:22:13.706 --> 01:22:15.928 That's probably a thing of the past. 01:22:17.769 --> 01:22:18.090 Yeah. 01:22:19.451 --> 01:22:20.071 Here's another one. 01:22:20.131 --> 01:22:20.912 Daniel in Reading. 01:22:22.033 --> 01:22:26.858 We went to Yarmouth with my mum and aunt many moons ago and the weather was terrible. 01:22:27.258 --> 01:22:28.940 So we spent most of the time in the caravan. 01:22:29.659 --> 01:22:34.083 Mum and aunt began getting right on each other's nerves, culminating in a physical fight. 01:22:34.663 --> 01:22:39.968 My aunt hitting my mother with a broom, and my mother hitting her on the head with a china bowl full of pasta. 01:22:40.308 --> 01:22:41.029 No way. 01:22:41.069 --> 01:22:42.129 Are they in a caravan? 01:22:42.210 --> 01:22:42.490 Yeah. 01:22:42.990 --> 01:22:44.692 That, of course... That's like Kill Bill 2. 01:22:46.513 --> 01:22:50.576 A caravan has got to be a pressure cooker environment, though, for a family holiday. 01:22:51.097 --> 01:22:53.479 It must have... Surely something kicks off in a caravan. 01:22:53.499 --> 01:22:55.280 More of a pressure cooker than a bio-dome? 01:22:56.521 --> 01:22:59.803 Well, no, because the biodome is larger and there's more places to hide. 01:22:59.823 --> 01:23:02.184 I think those places trap psychic energy. 01:23:02.204 --> 01:23:03.324 Do you know what I mean? 01:23:03.404 --> 01:23:03.764 Yeah. 01:23:04.365 --> 01:23:06.566 And I think there's going to be a fight on your holiday. 01:23:07.046 --> 01:23:09.227 Well, you'll find out in a couple of weeks, I guess. 01:23:09.247 --> 01:23:10.187 What is that woman's there? 01:23:10.667 --> 01:23:11.127 Which woman? 01:23:11.328 --> 01:23:12.248 From the bum park. 01:23:13.769 --> 01:23:14.669 She may well be. 01:23:15.109 --> 01:23:16.790 It's the same general area. 01:23:16.970 --> 01:23:18.371 Yeah, that would be terrifying. 01:23:18.491 --> 01:23:19.991 Here, come on, you're coming up here. 01:23:20.031 --> 01:23:21.492 You can stand in the queue over here. 01:23:21.952 --> 01:23:23.573 Here's one from Gary in Lanethley. 01:23:24.193 --> 01:23:28.235 Dear lads, My family went on a mystery tour which ended up in Ilfricoon. 01:23:28.535 --> 01:23:30.276 Me and my girlfriend had food poisoning. 01:23:30.716 --> 01:23:33.617 My mother stepped on our dog's ear before the journey. 01:23:34.137 --> 01:23:39.960 My brother ate a box of eclairs on the bus and was sick and my mother was attacked by a lunatic. 01:23:40.720 --> 01:23:43.763 And we saw a youngish man who sported a Hitler moustache. 01:23:44.564 --> 01:23:45.945 He was the guy from Wild Beasts. 01:23:46.205 --> 01:23:47.707 What an amazing list of incidents. 01:23:47.847 --> 01:23:51.450 You know, the worst one I would think would be the Claire vomit. 01:23:52.391 --> 01:23:52.571 Why? 01:23:52.631 --> 01:23:55.174 Because the toffee bits might not have been fully digested. 01:23:55.314 --> 01:24:01.700 The cream, once that comes back up again, is just... It depends whether they're chocolate Eclairs or Claire buns. 01:24:01.940 --> 01:24:04.022 Oh, you're thinking that they might have been the sweets. 01:24:04.122 --> 01:24:06.404 Yeah, yeah, yeah, like they're toffies with chocolate inside. 01:24:06.624 --> 01:24:08.585 I think I got the impression it was eclairs. 01:24:08.625 --> 01:24:10.945 Maybe, maybe, yeah, creamy eclairs. 01:24:12.966 --> 01:24:13.846 Jason from Leeds. 01:24:13.866 --> 01:24:14.687 How do you think this is going? 01:24:15.107 --> 01:24:15.547 Very well. 01:24:15.607 --> 01:24:16.067 Very well. 01:24:16.087 --> 01:24:16.807 This is a good one. 01:24:16.827 --> 01:24:17.007 Good. 01:24:17.408 --> 01:24:18.228 Jason from Leeds. 01:24:18.548 --> 01:24:20.769 Halftime holiday in Turkey went so wrong. 01:24:21.309 --> 01:24:29.032 My dad would wear a pair of two tight black satin speedos with it all on show and a pair of clogs. 01:24:29.792 --> 01:24:32.813 Everybody would stare at him, but he just carried on. 01:24:33.553 --> 01:24:41.562 We got talking to some other kids three days into the holiday and one kid said, have you seen that man with the tight trunks with large package wearing clogs? 01:24:42.283 --> 01:24:42.983 We said, no. 01:24:43.124 --> 01:24:43.985 Whoever can that be? 01:24:44.705 --> 01:24:46.607 Oh, that was dad. 01:24:46.647 --> 01:24:48.069 He sounds like a mega dude. 01:24:48.109 --> 01:24:50.552 There's a very strong image there, isn't there? 01:24:51.112 --> 01:24:52.434 I can really picture that guy. 01:24:52.754 --> 01:24:56.519 Maybe I should... Do you reckon I should wear that kind of thing under the biodome? 01:24:56.679 --> 01:25:04.829 Yes, I think if you're self-conscious about your hairy chest, you should go completely the other way and really ram it up people's faces. 01:25:05.770 --> 01:25:08.553 And the way to do that is... Can you ram something up a face? 01:25:08.633 --> 01:25:08.954 Oh yeah. 01:25:09.134 --> 01:25:10.996 Yeah, well that's what I think you should do. 01:25:12.657 --> 01:25:16.919 I think the trunk should be really tiny, and there should definitely be collogs. 01:25:17.600 --> 01:25:22.202 Very big wooden tourist clogs from Amsterdam. 01:25:22.542 --> 01:25:23.302 And nothing else. 01:25:23.922 --> 01:25:24.923 And nothing else. 01:25:24.983 --> 01:25:25.763 Come on, kids! 01:25:26.003 --> 01:25:28.004 I don't know if I want to humiliate my children. 01:25:28.024 --> 01:25:29.565 Let's get out of here, I hate the stink! 01:25:30.285 --> 01:25:31.185 That's the kind of thing you say. 01:25:31.225 --> 01:25:31.946 Who's saying that? 01:25:32.186 --> 01:25:33.126 Oh, that's me saying that. 01:25:33.166 --> 01:25:37.788 Yeah, you're sort of using what you got from that woman, and you're using it in your arsenal. 01:25:37.828 --> 01:25:39.609 I don't want to poison the atmosphere in the biodome. 01:25:39.789 --> 01:25:40.610 It's just an idea. 01:25:40.630 --> 01:25:41.350 Alright then. 01:25:42.059 --> 01:25:45.420 Shall we have a few more of these texts just before we, or not? 01:25:45.560 --> 01:25:46.280 Possibly not. 01:25:46.300 --> 01:25:47.381 We can keep them coming in. 01:25:47.401 --> 01:25:53.603 You know what, I think this is a very rarefied text the nation subject and it would probably be better if people have the week to think about it. 01:25:53.623 --> 01:25:53.923 Yeah. 01:25:54.243 --> 01:25:55.743 And contribute to retro text the nation. 01:25:55.763 --> 01:25:56.843 By rarefied you mean brilliant, right? 01:25:56.863 --> 01:25:57.024 Yeah. 01:25:57.364 --> 01:25:58.204 Absolutely brilliant. 01:25:58.644 --> 01:26:02.567 So if you're listening during the week, please do keep your texts on that subject coming in. 01:26:03.268 --> 01:26:12.115 The email address, and please emails only during the week, not texts, is adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 01:26:12.615 --> 01:26:14.137 Here is Idlewild right now. 01:26:14.177 --> 01:26:15.338 This is Readers and Writers. 01:26:15.358 --> 01:26:19.981 It's a little kind of fun community parade there from Idlewild. 01:26:20.101 --> 01:26:21.843 That was called Readers and Writers. 01:26:21.863 --> 01:26:23.904 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC 6 Music. 01:26:24.665 --> 01:26:27.709 just looking down my document for ideas. 01:26:28.009 --> 01:26:32.575 I've got some quite half-formed ideas that I could have a go with. 01:26:32.815 --> 01:26:33.236 Oh really? 01:26:33.897 --> 01:26:34.798 Is that a good idea? 01:26:35.619 --> 01:26:39.464 I've got a note here, it just says worst possible name for a feature film. 01:26:40.946 --> 01:26:43.168 Come on, let's go get some antihistamine. 01:26:44.209 --> 01:26:45.230 That'd be a good name for a film? 01:26:46.531 --> 01:26:49.633 Well, I mean, that's very much something I'm concerned with at the moment. 01:26:49.673 --> 01:26:52.455 I would go and see it because I... Because you're a target market. 01:26:52.575 --> 01:26:56.998 Yeah, because I've got a great deal of swelling around my elbow, so I'm interested in antihistamine. 01:26:57.839 --> 01:27:01.081 What about a film about a team of road diggers? 01:27:01.101 --> 01:27:02.202 It's called Manhole. 01:27:03.543 --> 01:27:06.306 Yeah, I like to see that I'd see anything called manhole. 01:27:06.406 --> 01:27:07.567 Would you certainly? 01:27:08.788 --> 01:27:11.010 Would you see a film called closed for refurbishment? 01:27:12.692 --> 01:27:18.998 Mmm, I think that would be a good name for a film who's in it Julia Roberts, I love her and Vince Vaughn I 01:27:19.719 --> 01:27:20.960 I don't like Vince Vaughn. 01:27:21.640 --> 01:27:22.922 He threatens me. 01:27:22.982 --> 01:27:23.422 I don't know. 01:27:23.442 --> 01:27:24.723 Have you met Vince Vaughn? 01:27:25.724 --> 01:27:25.965 No. 01:27:25.985 --> 01:27:27.666 I don't know what he's like. 01:27:27.686 --> 01:27:31.930 I get the feeling that he would beat me up or hurt me or intimidate me somehow. 01:27:32.030 --> 01:27:34.072 The problem with that one would more be the listings. 01:27:34.733 --> 01:27:37.974 You know, and the hoarding at the front of the cinema. 01:27:38.015 --> 01:27:40.396 What's Vince Vaughn doing in Closed for Refurbishment? 01:27:42.777 --> 01:27:43.437 Sort of acting. 01:27:43.637 --> 01:27:44.317 Sort of acting. 01:27:44.537 --> 01:27:44.838 Yeah. 01:27:45.018 --> 01:27:46.378 Kind of... mainly being himself, isn't he? 01:27:46.398 --> 01:27:47.239 Being himself, yeah. 01:27:47.939 --> 01:27:48.559 I don't know. 01:27:48.779 --> 01:27:50.000 I'm going to give that one a pass. 01:27:50.200 --> 01:27:50.780 That's it. 01:27:50.980 --> 01:27:51.801 That was that idea. 01:27:52.481 --> 01:27:55.302 Oh, how about... This is a serious question now, Joe. 01:27:55.502 --> 01:27:57.503 What's your worst song from this year been? 01:27:57.643 --> 01:27:59.144 Worst music song that's come out? 01:27:59.941 --> 01:28:00.882 Man, I don't know. 01:28:00.942 --> 01:28:01.303 I wouldn't. 01:28:02.204 --> 01:28:03.425 Did they not stick in your head like that? 01:28:03.726 --> 01:28:04.166 Not really, no. 01:28:04.186 --> 01:28:07.470 Well, they don't usually stick in mine, but the other day I was out in a shop. 01:28:07.510 --> 01:28:08.651 Have you ever been to one of those? 01:28:08.932 --> 01:28:09.172 No. 01:28:09.572 --> 01:28:10.113 They're amazing. 01:28:10.133 --> 01:28:11.134 You can get stuff there. 01:28:11.655 --> 01:28:15.339 And over the Tanoi, is that what you call it? 01:28:15.499 --> 01:28:16.721 The speakers in the shop. 01:28:17.482 --> 01:28:19.865 They were playing some music and I thought, wow. 01:28:20.365 --> 01:28:21.746 This is a bad song! 01:28:21.786 --> 01:28:30.411 And I sat there and I was mesmerized by it and it was a kind of a up-tempo, stupid, poppy thing with a lady singing and I just thought, who the heck is responsible for this? 01:28:30.891 --> 01:28:34.913 And it was the lyrics were just the most asinine, crass thing I'd ever heard in my life. 01:28:34.954 --> 01:28:40.817 It just seemed like something that was constructed by morons to appeal to lunatics. 01:28:41.257 --> 01:28:45.259 Turned out it was Alicia Dixon and the song was The Boy Does Nothing. 01:28:45.780 --> 01:28:46.580 Do you know that track? 01:28:47.261 --> 01:28:48.061 Have you got it with you? 01:28:48.461 --> 01:28:49.302 I should have brought it in. 01:28:49.822 --> 01:28:51.903 I assumed everyone knew what it was, right? 01:28:52.083 --> 01:28:53.464 I read a rave review. 01:28:53.544 --> 01:28:55.225 She's a talent show winner, isn't she? 01:28:55.445 --> 01:28:57.567 She's X Factor from last year, is she? 01:28:57.787 --> 01:28:59.187 She was a strictly cum dancer. 01:28:59.207 --> 01:29:00.848 She used to be a mystique, I think. 01:29:01.349 --> 01:29:04.591 And she's now the judge that replaced the old lady. 01:29:04.611 --> 01:29:06.812 Ah, okay, now I'm with you, so I'm completely wrong, yeah. 01:29:06.832 --> 01:29:08.933 So she's the one that everyone's complaining about. 01:29:09.093 --> 01:29:09.934 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:29:10.034 --> 01:29:10.794 Poor lady. 01:29:10.814 --> 01:29:12.755 She's probably had an unpleasant year in that respect. 01:29:12.976 --> 01:29:14.997 And I'm sure she's talented after a fashion. 01:29:15.337 --> 01:29:19.580 But this song, which she probably didn't write, so I'm not slagging her writing skills off, I hope. 01:29:20.160 --> 01:29:22.602 It's the worst thing I've ever heard. 01:29:22.662 --> 01:29:23.362 We've got to hear it. 01:29:23.382 --> 01:29:24.023 You've got to bring it in. 01:29:24.043 --> 01:29:24.303 My life. 01:29:24.643 --> 01:29:25.784 I'll bring it in next week, then. 01:29:26.324 --> 01:29:26.684 How about that? 01:29:26.724 --> 01:29:27.585 I've got to go and buy the thing. 01:29:27.605 --> 01:29:28.345 That was a good link. 01:29:28.385 --> 01:29:30.106 It was two ill-formed ideas. 01:29:30.267 --> 01:29:30.387 Yeah. 01:29:31.227 --> 01:29:54.196 uh they really came together there into one big ill-formed idea here's a free play this is um i don't really know what this song is speaking of weird songs i tried to shazam it but shazam wouldn't recognize it oh yeah i think it's by a producer called ghost he's like a uk hip-hop producer it's from a compilation called seldom seen often heard it's called talk to me and it's hello 01:29:57.577 --> 01:29:59.498 Oh, no, it's Boggins! 01:30:00.219 --> 01:30:01.199 How did he get in? 01:30:01.219 --> 01:30:03.720 I thought it smelt funny. 01:30:03.740 --> 01:30:07.022 I've done a puke in the corner of the room, I'm gonna rub it on your legs. 01:30:07.142 --> 01:30:10.144 If we could just stop him making that noise, it would improve things. 01:30:11.024 --> 01:30:16.907 Anyway, yeah, this is called Talk to Me, and it's just a bit of breezy kind of lady soul. 01:30:16.967 --> 01:30:18.188 It's just a bit of fun. 01:30:18.488 --> 01:30:20.789 Listen, don't get worked up about it. 01:30:21.149 --> 01:30:22.310 It's just a bit of fun. 01:30:22.970 --> 01:30:23.350 All right? 01:30:23.711 --> 01:30:24.151 Here it is. 01:30:24.531 --> 01:30:26.171 I like that bit at the end there, that's really nice. 01:30:26.231 --> 01:30:27.712 I like it, it's a grower, that record. 01:30:28.132 --> 01:30:29.412 I don't know really what it is. 01:30:30.433 --> 01:30:31.093 Where did you find it? 01:30:32.193 --> 01:30:33.353 On my hard disk. 01:30:33.813 --> 01:30:35.394 You know, do you ever find stuff like that? 01:30:35.594 --> 01:30:37.354 Sometimes you do, yep, yep, yep. 01:30:37.434 --> 01:30:38.855 And it didn't, Shazam came up. 01:30:38.895 --> 01:30:39.995 How does Shazam work? 01:30:40.195 --> 01:30:43.836 You hold your phone to the speaker and it tells you what it usually recognizes. 01:30:43.896 --> 01:30:44.916 I know how works your end. 01:30:44.976 --> 01:30:46.897 But how does it recognize the song? 01:30:46.977 --> 01:30:47.917 Like does it go through a computer? 01:30:47.937 --> 01:30:49.037 Like does it go through a computer? 01:30:49.057 --> 01:30:50.998 Distinct waveform, audio fingerprint, you know? 01:30:51.018 --> 01:30:51.378 Amazing. 01:30:51.758 --> 01:30:52.178 Amazing. 01:30:52.258 --> 01:30:53.118 Modern technology. 01:30:53.498 --> 01:31:00.300 Hey, you know, one thing we were chatting about, which we didn't talk about during the show, but maybe we should talk about next week, was the whole David Letterman thing. 01:31:00.460 --> 01:31:17.003 I don't know if you're aware of this, viewers, but David Letterman was apparently blackmailed by a producer at CBS in the States who had found out about these sexual relations that he'd had with people that worked on the TV show he does. 01:31:17.443 --> 01:31:20.005 I can't believe you're getting into this a minute before the end of the show. 01:31:20.045 --> 01:31:21.486 I know, but I was setting it up for next week. 01:31:21.506 --> 01:31:21.606 Right. 01:31:21.626 --> 01:31:22.526 We were going to chat about it. 01:31:22.766 --> 01:31:23.367 Right. 01:31:23.727 --> 01:31:28.850 And so rather than be blackmailed by this guy, David Letterman confessed the whole thing live on air. 01:31:28.890 --> 01:31:30.451 You can find the clip on YouTube. 01:31:30.812 --> 01:31:32.393 So if you haven't seen it, go and check it out. 01:31:32.953 --> 01:31:36.595 And I'd like to hear your thoughts on the subject. 01:31:37.576 --> 01:31:38.757 I'm busy next week. 01:31:41.298 --> 01:31:42.799 But I would like to talk about it. 01:31:42.879 --> 01:31:44.599 Adam's going to be co-presenting with Alistair Stewart. 01:31:47.160 --> 01:31:49.241 Hey, thanks for listening, listeners, this week. 01:31:49.281 --> 01:31:54.063 And we really look forward to seeing anybody who's got tickets to come and see us at the Electric Proms on Thursday lunchtime. 01:31:54.403 --> 01:31:58.545 It's going to be a very sort of friendly, chaotic occasion, but we can't wait for it. 01:31:58.945 --> 01:32:02.707 And thanks to everyone who's emailed and texted the programme. 01:32:02.967 --> 01:32:03.167 Yes. 01:32:03.587 --> 01:32:04.748 Stay tuned for Liz Kershaw. 01:32:04.788 --> 01:32:05.748 She's coming up very shortly. 01:32:05.768 --> 01:32:07.589 We're going to leave you with Julian Casablancas. 01:32:07.609 --> 01:32:09.509 Don't forget to download the podcast on Monday evening. 01:32:09.529 --> 01:32:09.850 We love you. 01:32:09.870 --> 01:32:10.490 Bye. 01:32:10.610 --> 01:32:10.790 Bye.