WEBVTT 00:00.830 --> 00:24.508 6 Music Today from 2 Jimmy Big Nuts From Midday Mandy Tidbits But now It's Adam and Jo Hello and welcome to the Big British Castle It's time for Adam and Jo to broadcast on the radio They'll need some music 00:31.021 --> 00:33.864 That's Junior Mervin there with Police and Thieves. 00:34.144 --> 00:34.985 Hey, this is Adam. 00:35.145 --> 00:35.866 Hey, this is Joe. 00:35.906 --> 00:42.392 Welcome to the Adam and Joe radio show here on BBC 6 Music on a beautiful Saturday morning here in Landon, anyway. 00:42.592 --> 00:43.653 Landon's out. 00:43.934 --> 00:44.554 Ooga-booga. 00:44.614 --> 00:45.635 Ooga-booga. 00:45.675 --> 00:47.677 You're chimney's filthy darling. 00:47.917 --> 00:50.100 I'll be over later on to cleanage. 00:50.280 --> 00:51.121 Oh, hey. 00:51.841 --> 00:54.803 I've got a couple of muscles here for you if you like. 00:55.463 --> 00:57.164 Eels, would you like some? 00:57.684 --> 00:58.745 We're living land then. 00:59.105 --> 01:00.466 Eels, eels. 01:00.986 --> 01:02.987 We've got lots of stuff coming up in the show listeners. 01:03.027 --> 01:10.531 You may have heard just there, one of our new idents at the very, very top of the show, right, before even the big British castle jingle. 01:10.571 --> 01:14.213 That's a new bit of branding that's come through from the top. 01:14.233 --> 01:14.773 Yeah, from the very top. 01:14.793 --> 01:15.974 Are we going to be playing that again? 01:16.574 --> 01:18.556 Well, we've got a few variations on the theme. 01:18.776 --> 01:19.777 So listen out, yeah. 01:19.877 --> 01:23.380 Maybe we shouldn't draw attention to it, otherwise we'll get locked up in the vault. 01:23.760 --> 01:25.362 We'll explain more about that later. 01:25.742 --> 01:29.405 We've also got a special Black Squadron command. 01:30.286 --> 01:34.429 Black Squadron, of course, are the elite listening force who are listening live at the moment. 01:34.509 --> 01:40.955 If you're listening to this live, rather than on Listen Again or the podcast, then you are by default a member of Black Squadron. 01:41.095 --> 01:43.739 Yeah, you've tuned in for the first half hour of the programme. 01:43.779 --> 01:46.683 That means that you're, you know, you're the hardcore, the elite. 01:46.923 --> 01:56.817 Now, we've been giving Black Squadron commands and last week there was a certain amount of, um, negative comments about the whole Black Squadron phenomenon. 01:57.037 --> 02:00.699 Last week was the most hot, stirring, wonderful... It was amazing. 02:00.740 --> 02:01.740 In the end, it really came through. 02:01.760 --> 02:04.082 The panhats, they were really powerful and moving. 02:04.142 --> 02:11.787 And incidentally, if you want to see some of those panhats, you can visit our blog, bbc.co.uk, forward slash blogs, forward slash Adam and Jo. 02:11.807 --> 02:12.547 Are they on the blog? 02:13.168 --> 02:15.329 No, they're on the website, the Adam and Jo website. 02:15.349 --> 02:16.630 They're there somewhere if you dig around. 02:17.170 --> 02:19.472 This week, we are going to step things up a bit. 02:19.572 --> 02:20.713 What was the negative comment? 02:21.153 --> 02:23.755 Well, I thought you were suggesting that it was a bit silly. 02:25.054 --> 02:27.156 But Black Squadron was a bit silly and pointless. 02:27.176 --> 02:28.097 Negative comments from me. 02:28.537 --> 02:28.957 Kind of. 02:29.237 --> 02:29.718 No. 02:29.778 --> 02:30.758 Just in a fun way, Adam. 02:30.858 --> 02:31.299 Don't worry. 02:31.699 --> 02:33.040 I'm not kidding at you, seriously. 02:33.080 --> 02:33.901 Just playful. 02:34.401 --> 02:37.183 So I decided to step up Black Squadron this week. 02:37.203 --> 02:37.363 Yeah. 02:37.723 --> 02:40.986 And I think we should focus on, there you go again, you see? 02:41.306 --> 02:42.607 That's exactly what I was talking about. 02:42.827 --> 02:43.708 Negative comments. 02:43.728 --> 02:43.908 Oh, that? 02:43.948 --> 02:44.748 Oh, you mean that kind of thing? 02:44.989 --> 02:45.389 Well, not really. 02:45.409 --> 02:46.430 Comment though, was it? 02:46.510 --> 02:47.370 You mean that sort of thing. 02:47.430 --> 02:49.652 It's just a negative noise. 02:49.972 --> 02:50.953 Listen to that, Squadron. 02:51.653 --> 02:53.274 You're going to turn the Squadron against you. 02:54.515 --> 02:55.476 That could be bad. 02:55.496 --> 02:56.377 That is negative, isn't it? 02:56.397 --> 02:57.197 You're playing with fire. 02:57.217 --> 02:57.758 See, I didn't mean it. 02:57.818 --> 02:58.658 It just comes out. 02:58.738 --> 02:59.659 Maybe it sounds negative. 02:59.719 --> 03:00.420 Anyway, carry on. 03:00.540 --> 03:01.080 What are you thinking? 03:02.301 --> 03:07.485 Like last week we did panhats and people sent us some amazing photographs and they sent them in very fast. 03:08.046 --> 03:11.368 So we figured why not have a Black Squadron photo race? 03:11.868 --> 03:12.289 Ah, good idea. 03:12.309 --> 03:13.550 That's what we're going to do this morning. 03:13.590 --> 03:19.855 So Black Squadron, stand by with any kind of... You've got to be able to email or text this photo. 03:20.935 --> 03:29.098 So, stand by with your camera or your camera phone, and we're going to give you a command that is kind of an instruction of a particular sort of photo we want you to take. 03:29.818 --> 03:30.058 Right? 03:30.498 --> 03:32.519 So, they need the details for where to send it, right? 03:32.619 --> 03:32.819 Yeah. 03:33.279 --> 03:41.662 So, you can email it to AdamandJoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk, or you can text it 03:42.222 --> 03:42.383 to 64046. 03:42.723 --> 03:44.786 That's right. 03:44.986 --> 03:48.571 And... Texts will be charged at your standard message rate, Joe. 03:48.872 --> 03:52.857 And it's not purely... We're not going to kind of... That there is no winner, right? 03:52.877 --> 03:53.558 It's not a competition. 03:53.678 --> 03:54.359 It's not a competition. 03:54.379 --> 03:55.301 No, how stupid. 03:58.565 --> 04:00.726 It is merely a... what is it then? 04:01.506 --> 04:03.047 It's a fun game. 04:03.067 --> 04:04.608 A fun game! 04:05.388 --> 04:11.690 And we will put our favourite and best photo, the one that makes us laugh the most, on the blog. 04:11.830 --> 04:12.050 Yeah. 04:12.571 --> 04:16.412 So that's what's up for grabs, if you could say there's something up for grabs, but of course there isn't. 04:16.492 --> 04:17.393 No, because it's not a competition. 04:17.413 --> 04:18.093 It's a fun speed game. 04:19.474 --> 04:22.376 Fun speed photo game. 04:22.876 --> 04:27.259 So stand by because I'm going to give you the description of what you've got a photograph. 04:27.299 --> 04:28.020 It's very simple. 04:28.360 --> 04:29.681 Be careful while you're doing it. 04:29.981 --> 04:30.702 Don't break anything. 04:30.742 --> 04:31.722 Don't get overexcited. 04:32.103 --> 04:33.504 It's not necessarily the fastest. 04:33.824 --> 04:35.745 It's the fastest and the best. 04:36.366 --> 04:37.086 And the most fun. 04:37.186 --> 04:37.907 And the most fun. 04:38.607 --> 04:39.688 Are we going to do that now then? 04:39.868 --> 04:40.208 Yeah. 04:40.568 --> 04:40.889 Alright. 04:41.129 --> 04:45.932 Let me tell you that as soon as Joe issues the command, we're going to bang right into the next track. 04:46.312 --> 04:48.513 It's going to be by the phenomenal hand clap band. 04:48.793 --> 04:54.257 It's called 15 to 20, but now here is the command for Black Squadron. 04:54.277 --> 04:56.098 Alright, Black Squadron, stand by with your cameras. 04:56.138 --> 04:59.820 We would like you to take a photo of a poltergeist attack! 05:00.658 --> 05:02.120 Is that a poltergeist? 05:03.401 --> 05:05.783 I'm looking at some of the squadron pictures there. 05:06.264 --> 05:07.224 Is that a poltergeist? 05:07.405 --> 05:08.586 That's a furry owl. 05:08.666 --> 05:11.689 That's a very vivid apparition of a poltergeist, if it is one. 05:12.790 --> 05:14.651 Poltergeist has never been captured so clearly. 05:14.872 --> 05:18.815 Well, the light there looks as if it might be an apparition of some kind. 05:18.895 --> 05:19.136 Right. 05:19.196 --> 05:22.779 Well, very interesting interpretations of the Black Squadron command have come in already. 05:22.799 --> 05:23.420 We're just having a 05:23.980 --> 05:24.641 I look through them. 05:25.002 --> 05:28.906 If you've just tuned in, we were asking Black Squadron to take photographs of a poltergeist attack. 05:29.928 --> 05:33.892 And there've been some terrifying occurrences all over Britain in the last three or four minutes. 05:34.393 --> 05:36.115 Photos are coming in hand over fist. 05:36.616 --> 05:37.617 We'll keep you up to date. 05:38.318 --> 05:38.998 Oh, this is a good one! 05:39.018 --> 05:39.519 Look at that one! 05:39.539 --> 05:40.480 A man in his pants! 05:40.841 --> 05:41.361 Oh, that's good. 05:42.402 --> 05:43.203 Look at that! 05:43.243 --> 05:43.903 That's really good. 05:43.943 --> 05:46.164 That's almost Victorian. 05:46.445 --> 05:47.825 He's got black pants on. 05:48.025 --> 05:50.147 The pants are the most terrifying aspect of that picture. 05:50.167 --> 05:58.331 He's just in his standing nude part from his black pants in his kitchen and it looks as if he's wrestling with a sheet that's fallen from the ceiling. 05:58.651 --> 06:00.032 That's really, that's frightening. 06:00.613 --> 06:05.135 I mean, a man is at his most vulnerable when in black wife fronts and nothing else. 06:05.155 --> 06:06.376 Stay away from my pants! 06:08.658 --> 06:10.060 That's a good picture, I like that. 06:10.080 --> 06:10.941 That's a very good picture. 06:10.961 --> 06:11.421 So blurry. 06:11.682 --> 06:12.423 Oh, that's a contender. 06:12.443 --> 06:15.066 Well, you've got another quarter of an hour listeners to send these in. 06:15.306 --> 06:17.428 Right, the deadline is half past 90. 06:17.648 --> 06:20.091 But you know, that has an advantage because of its speed. 06:20.432 --> 06:21.092 That is, yeah. 06:21.112 --> 06:23.455 The faster they come in, the more chance they have, right? 06:23.475 --> 06:25.597 But it's not purely speed, it's quality as well. 06:25.657 --> 06:26.058 And fun. 06:26.298 --> 06:26.659 And fun. 06:27.399 --> 06:29.360 So you're probably wondering how my elbow is. 06:29.460 --> 06:33.582 Yes, last week listeners Adam was telling us about what he thought was a spider bite on his elbow. 06:33.622 --> 06:35.783 It had a huge postulant swelling on it. 06:35.803 --> 06:36.623 Wasn't postulant. 06:36.843 --> 06:39.484 It's like you've got a double, a double, what's that thing called? 06:39.604 --> 06:39.964 Elbow. 06:41.085 --> 06:44.186 Is there a name for the pointy bit, the pointiest pointy bit on the end of the elbow? 06:44.366 --> 06:45.006 Elbow. 06:45.466 --> 06:46.087 The elbow. 06:46.407 --> 06:47.107 The elbow. 06:47.247 --> 06:49.108 It looks like you've got a swollen elbow. 06:49.548 --> 06:51.409 I do, I feel like I've got an extra protrusion. 06:51.469 --> 06:52.869 Sorry, that's a good word, isn't it, L-bone? 06:53.049 --> 06:53.609 L-bone, yeah. 06:53.810 --> 06:55.170 That's the kind of word that children use. 06:55.610 --> 06:55.950 Thanks. 06:57.691 --> 06:58.431 Like, eyebrow. 06:58.631 --> 07:00.232 Did you used to think they were called eyebrows? 07:00.272 --> 07:03.053 I should have texted that in for the textination a couple of weeks ago. 07:03.213 --> 07:04.013 Body part names. 07:04.613 --> 07:05.494 Ah, L-bone. 07:06.074 --> 07:10.075 Well, I've got an extra L-bone now, as you pointed out, yeah, on my right L-bone. 07:10.115 --> 07:11.916 And it's sort of peeled as if it sunburned. 07:11.936 --> 07:13.216 You've lost a bit of skin there, mate. 07:13.316 --> 07:14.357 I know, right. 07:14.937 --> 07:17.698 It was, yeah, it's all, I mean, it's still painful. 07:18.058 --> 07:20.019 but it's a little bit better than it was last week. 07:20.099 --> 07:20.519 Oh, good. 07:20.539 --> 07:25.101 I went to... We got some... Sorry, just... We got some very alarming emails from listeners. 07:25.181 --> 07:25.501 Oh, really? 07:25.641 --> 07:27.842 People who'd had similar elbow problems. 07:28.222 --> 07:36.066 We got a lot of medical advice, a lot of doctors actually offering you bits of text describing how you should operate on yourself. 07:36.086 --> 07:38.887 Well, they were assuming that it was some form of bursitis or something. 07:38.907 --> 07:40.688 That's right, and how to burst and drain it. 07:40.828 --> 07:41.568 The bursa. 07:41.928 --> 07:43.109 And it wasn't like that. 07:43.149 --> 07:44.649 It wasn't purulent in that way. 07:44.669 --> 07:44.709 No. 07:44.729 --> 07:46.290 It wasn't weeping or seeping. 07:46.630 --> 07:49.331 It was just kind of painful and swollen. 07:49.712 --> 07:59.337 But then I went to the sort of A&E, like the local Medi Center, when I got back on Saturday last week after the show, because I was in absolute agony. 08:00.057 --> 08:03.579 And I went there, booked myself an appointment, and I actually thought it was the doctor. 08:03.599 --> 08:04.899 I thought it was the local doc, right? 08:05.080 --> 08:05.320 Right. 08:05.400 --> 08:08.841 I turn up and it's more like the Medi Center, and it's really full Saturday night. 08:09.262 --> 08:11.223 Loads of people have families, little kids and stuff. 08:12.203 --> 08:16.246 And it was the one time in my life when I did not want to be recognized, right? 08:16.747 --> 08:24.112 Which doesn't happen to me very often, but sure enough, as soon as I go in there, this guy goes, oh, hello, look who it is. 08:25.974 --> 08:27.655 Was the doctor saying that? 08:28.316 --> 08:29.156 The receptionist. 08:29.417 --> 08:31.138 This was a guy waiting to have a patient. 08:31.578 --> 08:32.679 He had a problem with his eye. 08:32.699 --> 08:33.740 To have his brain removed. 08:33.840 --> 08:34.821 He's like, what are you doing here? 08:35.061 --> 08:35.862 No, he was a nice chap. 08:36.182 --> 08:36.863 What are you doing here? 08:36.883 --> 08:40.306 I was like, well, I'm in agonizing pain and I'm feeling really ill. 08:40.346 --> 08:40.646 Thanks. 08:41.127 --> 08:41.607 What are you doing? 08:41.787 --> 08:42.688 Oh, I've got something in my eye. 08:43.249 --> 08:46.111 So, weird to see you here. 08:46.131 --> 08:49.814 I was just checking out some of your stuff on the internet. 08:49.915 --> 08:50.775 Crystal Maze. 08:51.616 --> 08:54.297 I didn't want to go into the fact that that was Joe that did that one. 08:54.917 --> 08:56.717 But although I did help with the voices. 08:57.477 --> 08:58.998 And so I said, oh, yeah, great. 08:59.018 --> 08:59.778 That's really great. 09:01.318 --> 09:01.718 Weird. 09:01.838 --> 09:03.999 Weird to have you sat here. 09:04.119 --> 09:05.979 A celebrity, sort of. 09:06.660 --> 09:07.300 Sort of. 09:07.340 --> 09:08.240 Correct. 09:08.280 --> 09:15.042 Meanwhile, everyone in the waiting room was like watching this little scene unfold and sort of thinking, who's that guy talking to? 09:15.362 --> 09:16.422 Who's the guy with the beard? 09:16.482 --> 09:17.182 He's not famous. 09:17.842 --> 09:18.702 It was really awful. 09:19.142 --> 09:21.183 And then I said to him, how long have you been waiting here? 09:21.603 --> 09:22.383 It's about an hour now. 09:22.543 --> 09:23.644 My appointment was about an hour ago. 09:24.224 --> 09:25.044 An hour? 09:25.624 --> 09:30.686 I'm not going to wait an hour and make small talk with my agonising pain. 09:31.146 --> 09:32.187 So I just peeled off. 09:32.707 --> 09:33.607 Couldn't be bothered with it. 09:33.707 --> 09:34.047 Really? 09:34.147 --> 09:34.447 Yeah. 09:34.607 --> 09:35.588 I thought, I don't care. 09:35.728 --> 09:36.528 Life's too short. 09:37.048 --> 09:40.229 I can go home and be in pain in bed rather than sat here in the medicine. 09:40.249 --> 09:41.790 But you didn't get your elbow untreated. 09:42.270 --> 09:44.032 No, because I thought, what are they gonna say? 09:44.052 --> 09:47.094 They're gonna go, well, you know, you just got a big elbow. 09:47.635 --> 09:48.255 It'll go down. 09:48.836 --> 09:49.136 Get over it. 09:49.156 --> 09:49.877 And it has gone down. 09:50.037 --> 09:50.657 And it has, yeah. 09:50.858 --> 09:51.178 Wow. 09:51.438 --> 09:53.700 So I correctly diagnosed myself. 09:54.521 --> 09:55.722 I went straight home to bed. 09:56.499 --> 10:02.865 How serious would the injury have to be before you stop being repelled by celebrity recognition? 10:02.885 --> 10:04.086 Do you know what I mean? 10:04.927 --> 10:10.012 I think there would have to be an open gash there that actually needed sewing up by a professional. 10:10.072 --> 10:12.194 Something that would get you rushed through the waiting room. 10:12.214 --> 10:16.458 I mean, even an open gash, at that moment, even an open gash I would have gone home and done myself. 10:17.239 --> 10:18.780 Yeah, stuck a little bandaid on it. 10:20.301 --> 10:22.002 Right now, listeners, I've got a free play for you. 10:22.022 --> 10:25.084 This is a band that I met in latitude, the latitude festival. 10:25.124 --> 10:30.167 Hey, man, can I just give credit to the guy whose photo we just described? 10:30.207 --> 10:30.427 Yeah, sure. 10:30.447 --> 10:36.131 Because we were talking about it and then we failed to give him credit, but now I've lost the paper. 10:36.151 --> 10:38.052 Thanks for interrupting my little intro. 10:38.072 --> 10:40.513 Sorry, I had it positioned up that now someone's removed it. 10:40.533 --> 10:43.335 For this total time-wasting rubbish! 10:43.355 --> 10:44.396 I can't find it anymore! 10:44.976 --> 10:46.597 So talk again and I'll interrupt you again. 10:48.075 --> 10:49.859 Met this band in latitude. 10:49.999 --> 10:50.541 Where is it? 10:51.042 --> 10:52.244 They're called Sky Larkin. 10:52.325 --> 10:53.146 James where's it gone? 10:54.420 --> 10:57.281 Like, not Skylar King, but Larkin. 10:57.461 --> 10:58.541 Like Philip Larkin. 10:59.261 --> 11:04.242 Maybe it's a reference to the band XTC's album Sky- I think he was called Ian. 11:05.103 --> 11:05.363 Jim. 11:05.563 --> 11:06.283 He was called Jim. 11:06.723 --> 11:07.483 Jim what? 11:08.483 --> 11:09.264 Jim and Ree Edwards. 11:09.284 --> 11:11.844 Yeah, their photo was of Jim in his pants. 11:12.204 --> 11:13.085 Yeah, sorry about that. 11:13.165 --> 11:13.565 Keep going. 11:14.245 --> 11:22.007 And this is a track from their album, The Golden Spike, very much enjoying this album, and it's called Fossil Eye. 11:22.407 --> 11:22.647 Well, 11:23.107 --> 11:25.590 It is Phoenix consolation prizes. 11:25.970 --> 11:30.615 The song is like a kind of a croissant made of joy. 11:31.156 --> 11:34.579 A joy croissant made of sunshine as well. 11:35.300 --> 11:37.442 A pastry made of sunshine. 11:37.643 --> 11:40.125 A pastry made of happy. 11:40.145 --> 11:41.807 You just said the word pastry. 11:43.929 --> 11:51.513 Listen, it's been an extraordinary half hour of powerful supernatural activity across Britain. 11:52.093 --> 11:55.335 I mean, it's like the beginning of Ghostbusters 2, you know? 11:55.575 --> 11:56.896 When they all break through the... 11:59.137 --> 11:59.938 Hmm, concrete. 12:01.519 --> 12:03.201 Maybe it's the middle of Ghostbusters too. 12:03.621 --> 12:04.843 Anyway, brilliant photos. 12:04.903 --> 12:12.950 David Barrow has sent a terrifying picture of some sort of little black beast at the top of the stairs with fiery glowing eyes. 12:13.130 --> 12:19.516 Yeah, he's got a brilliant picture of like the main staircase and then just in the corner at the very top is this little black cat peeping round. 12:19.656 --> 12:22.578 But then the flash is reflecting in its eyes making it look demonic. 12:22.678 --> 12:25.799 That's really good for such short notice photo taking. 12:26.100 --> 12:28.041 Some of the photos are absolutely brilliant. 12:28.361 --> 12:28.881 James Binning. 12:28.901 --> 12:30.622 You could exhibit them at the Royal Academy. 12:30.762 --> 12:35.765 In London he sent a brilliant photo of ectoplasm spewing from his mouth. 12:37.006 --> 12:37.706 Or a napkin. 12:38.367 --> 12:38.827 Not sure. 12:39.207 --> 12:47.274 Ruby Styles and her dad Tony have taken a terrifying picture of Ruby talking to a blank television screen. 12:47.434 --> 12:48.335 That's a very good one. 12:48.355 --> 12:49.056 That's a good one. 12:49.136 --> 12:50.257 And she's blonde as well. 12:50.637 --> 12:50.957 Very good. 12:50.977 --> 12:52.919 Like a little girl in poltergeist. 12:53.079 --> 12:59.124 It's very hard to take a picture of white noise on television though, you know, because you get the screen. 12:59.164 --> 13:00.625 You get Derek Jarman's blue now. 13:01.006 --> 13:02.007 That's the default colour. 13:02.127 --> 13:02.587 That's right. 13:03.628 --> 13:04.849 Exactly in the digital age. 13:05.029 --> 13:05.850 It's an absolute shame. 13:05.950 --> 13:07.691 There's so many great photos, listeners. 13:07.911 --> 13:10.553 It's going to take a while to go through them all and make our decision. 13:10.613 --> 13:15.195 But I think what we'll do is rather than announce the... It's not a winner, is it? 13:15.675 --> 13:17.456 How would you describe the one that we select? 13:17.476 --> 13:19.938 The champion. 13:20.898 --> 13:23.380 No, because that implies some kind of winning. 13:23.600 --> 13:27.762 The randomly selected non-superior representative. 13:27.802 --> 13:29.243 The pleasing representative. 13:29.363 --> 13:29.663 Yes. 13:29.683 --> 13:31.164 The non-superior pleasing representative. 13:31.184 --> 13:32.365 The democratic indicator. 13:32.745 --> 13:33.526 Yeah, yeah. 13:33.826 --> 13:38.530 The random democratic indicator of randomly selected pleasingness. 13:38.570 --> 13:39.571 The mean image. 13:39.591 --> 13:42.034 Well, that makes it sound negative, though. 13:42.234 --> 13:44.116 No, as in mathematically mean, the average. 13:44.236 --> 13:45.036 I see what you mean. 13:45.056 --> 13:45.777 Yeah, the representative. 13:46.017 --> 13:51.723 Anyway, we'll do that and we'll stick it on the blog, bbc.co.uk forward slash blogs forward slash Adam and Jo. 13:51.763 --> 13:53.764 We'll do that like on, well, after the show. 13:54.565 --> 13:58.008 Coming up in the next half hour, ladies and gentlemen, we have retro text-a-nation. 13:58.369 --> 14:08.638 We are going to be reading out a few more messages that we got about last week's text-a-nation subject, which was most annoying TV presenting things or presenters themselves. 14:08.938 --> 14:12.502 We've had quite a few messages coming in on that subject, so we're going to be doing that. 14:13.422 --> 14:16.425 And playing more great music, et cetera, a little bit like this. 14:16.465 --> 14:18.247 This is the Sundays with Summertime. 14:18.487 --> 14:20.328 That's the Sundays with Summertime. 14:20.388 --> 14:22.308 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 14:22.648 --> 14:23.509 Very nice to have you along. 14:23.549 --> 14:25.269 This is Adam and Joe. 14:25.529 --> 14:26.429 I just said all that, didn't I? 14:26.449 --> 14:27.070 It's just gone 9.30. 14:27.670 --> 14:28.610 I'm going mental. 14:28.670 --> 14:29.650 It's time for the news. 14:29.670 --> 14:32.791 That's The Battle of Who Could Care Less by Ben Folds Five. 14:32.811 --> 14:34.172 Hey, how are you doing, listeners? 14:34.212 --> 14:34.772 This is Adam. 14:35.132 --> 14:35.812 Hey, I'm Joe. 14:35.972 --> 14:39.213 Welcome to the Adam and Joe radio show here on BBC Six Music. 14:39.233 --> 14:40.974 Nice to have you along. 14:41.554 --> 14:45.597 Now it's a lovely sunny day outside and it's been nice all week in fact. 14:45.797 --> 14:46.097 Nice. 14:46.337 --> 14:51.060 Sometimes right in September you get like the nicest weather of the whole year. 14:51.481 --> 14:52.301 That is true. 14:52.321 --> 14:58.525 Because it's nice it's like sunny right but it's also not too hot so you don't get uncomfortable. 14:59.166 --> 15:00.467 I've said this before right. 15:00.527 --> 15:06.311 Yeah so again summer in Britain is at the beginning and end not in the middle. 15:07.271 --> 15:07.511 Right. 15:07.531 --> 15:10.674 You know it's always bad in the middle by 15:11.594 --> 15:12.095 Do you know what I mean? 15:12.135 --> 15:16.118 It's hot at the beginning of the summer and there's always rubbish in the middle and then it gets hot again at the end. 15:16.138 --> 15:17.218 And it gets nice again at the end. 15:17.238 --> 15:18.159 It's always the same. 15:18.579 --> 15:24.524 But the thing I noticed this week walking around London town, I was here for a couple of days doing a little bit of work, you know how it goes. 15:24.564 --> 15:25.224 Exciting for you. 15:25.325 --> 15:25.985 Very exciting. 15:26.345 --> 15:27.887 Did you get confused and overwhelmed? 15:27.927 --> 15:28.967 Yeah, I started crying. 15:29.648 --> 15:31.009 I was like the guy from Alone in the Wild. 15:31.409 --> 15:32.510 We'll talk about that later on. 15:33.010 --> 15:39.333 But I noticed a lot of people sitting outside restaurants on tables on the pavement. 15:39.413 --> 15:40.413 Why do they do that? 15:40.794 --> 15:41.174 Why? 15:41.334 --> 15:42.114 I'm asking you. 15:42.414 --> 15:43.595 Why do they do that? 15:43.695 --> 15:51.038 Because they're sitting outside in the pavement in England at the end of September and it just seems to be like a colossal act of denial to me. 15:51.058 --> 15:51.979 You know what I mean? 15:52.119 --> 15:54.840 Well, it's becoming a European style city. 15:55.000 --> 15:56.841 It's not a European style city. 15:57.482 --> 15:58.422 Everyone's cycling. 15:58.822 --> 16:00.043 It's very relaxed now. 16:02.003 --> 16:03.505 European style. 16:03.765 --> 16:05.987 It's by no means European style. 16:06.007 --> 16:11.333 You've got a great big ugly street like Oxford Street or whatever and there's still people sitting outside. 16:11.353 --> 16:11.673 Disagree. 16:11.733 --> 16:12.454 I think it's lovely. 16:13.095 --> 16:13.555 You're insane. 16:13.575 --> 16:22.724 Have you ever sat outside in a... I know what you mean when the pavement's very narrow and when the traffic's very close and when there are loonies coming and asking you for money. 16:23.385 --> 16:31.191 Or if I'm sitting eating at a table, I always think that someone will walk past, and in fact I'm vaguely tempted to do this when I'm walking past someone's table. 16:31.211 --> 16:32.792 It'd be an awful thing to do and I'd never do it. 16:33.333 --> 16:35.495 But just to put your fists in their chips! 16:37.964 --> 16:38.464 Do you know what I mean? 16:38.484 --> 16:42.427 You're just strolling past, they've got a bowl of chips, you've got pong, fist in the chips, punch the chips, pong. 16:42.507 --> 16:43.488 Fist in chips? 16:43.528 --> 16:48.231 Yeah, or something like that, or I don't know, or just knock their drink over and run away. 16:48.251 --> 16:49.471 Do you know what I mean? 16:49.491 --> 16:56.816 There just seems to be a sort of very fragile sense of an unspoken sense of trust, having a very fancy meal. 16:57.096 --> 17:01.879 Especially when it's one of those restaurants where there's a tablecloth and roses, and it's as if they're in a room. 17:02.219 --> 17:03.040 You're not in a room, mate. 17:03.160 --> 17:03.881 You're in the street, boss! 17:03.921 --> 17:08.624 That's the thing, I think you're just walking by and there's dog pops strewn around and stuff. 17:08.664 --> 17:08.904 I agree. 17:09.144 --> 17:10.285 And bins overflowing. 17:10.305 --> 17:12.447 I think the general idea is wonderful. 17:12.527 --> 17:13.988 Of course the idea is wonderful. 17:14.008 --> 17:18.851 But it's a world away from being on Sunset Boulevard as the sun goes down. 17:18.871 --> 17:20.392 Sunset Boulevard's horrible as well. 17:21.113 --> 17:25.096 There are lots of outdoor restaurants on Sunset Boulevard and that's really trafficking. 17:25.116 --> 17:27.738 But some of them have little white fences around them and stuff like that. 17:27.798 --> 17:29.058 Yeah, but that's just as bad there. 17:29.359 --> 17:30.960 I agree and it's a little bit... I don't agree. 17:31.340 --> 17:32.301 You don't agree. 17:32.341 --> 17:33.362 No, I started off agreeing. 17:33.402 --> 17:34.062 Now I don't agree. 17:34.082 --> 17:35.263 Complete switcheroo. 17:35.444 --> 17:37.125 I don't put my fist in the chips, though. 17:37.425 --> 17:37.746 You don't? 17:37.786 --> 17:39.887 Well, no, neither do I, but I'm tempted to. 17:40.788 --> 17:41.549 I don't know. 17:41.889 --> 17:45.192 You often get hassled by people asking for money, though, don't you? 17:45.432 --> 17:45.632 Right. 17:46.133 --> 17:46.473 Don't you? 17:46.533 --> 17:48.094 It's certainly in Soho, if you're sitting out. 17:48.215 --> 17:48.595 I don't know. 17:48.615 --> 17:49.396 I've never sat out. 17:49.496 --> 17:50.477 I've never been tempted. 17:50.597 --> 17:51.597 To me, it seems insane. 17:52.138 --> 17:52.338 Right. 17:52.398 --> 17:54.560 Like, here's some other things you could have, right? 17:55.441 --> 17:56.422 The same kind of things. 17:56.682 --> 17:58.964 Like, what about a shower in a supermarket? 17:59.924 --> 18:01.685 Yes, a shower in a sieve. 18:01.725 --> 18:03.026 Well, where's the through line there? 18:03.487 --> 18:05.288 How is that like heating on the pavement? 18:05.548 --> 18:05.929 Oh, I see. 18:05.949 --> 18:06.849 Well, it is a bit, isn't it? 18:06.869 --> 18:09.751 Because to you, the incongruity of pavements and heating. 18:09.771 --> 18:10.452 Right, exactly. 18:10.532 --> 18:10.832 I get it. 18:11.072 --> 18:12.874 What about a bed on a tube train? 18:17.857 --> 18:19.559 I mean, this could go on forever. 18:22.576 --> 18:25.258 What about a cocktail bar in a public toilet? 18:25.738 --> 18:26.419 How about that? 18:26.439 --> 18:27.560 Wanna hang out there? 18:27.580 --> 18:28.500 Yeah. 18:29.081 --> 18:29.761 Fisting chips? 18:31.482 --> 18:33.103 What about a swimming pool in a cinema? 18:33.924 --> 18:34.744 For God's sake. 18:36.445 --> 18:37.146 It's too broad. 18:37.166 --> 18:39.187 Or a gym in a restaurant. 18:39.247 --> 18:40.968 The parameters aren't strict enough. 18:40.988 --> 18:42.750 How about a gymnasium right there in the restaurant? 18:43.848 --> 18:45.169 What do you mean the parameters aren't straight? 18:45.209 --> 18:47.330 It's just too, it's too floppy and broad. 18:47.730 --> 18:52.812 You want to tighten the terms up a bit, then it'll be more impressive, comically. 18:53.353 --> 18:55.634 Hm, try not. 18:58.615 --> 18:59.456 Laundry on a bus? 19:00.636 --> 19:01.317 Is it not the same? 19:01.597 --> 19:01.917 No. 19:02.397 --> 19:03.097 Should we play some music? 19:03.137 --> 19:04.118 What's Fanfalo? 19:04.380 --> 19:05.661 I don't know, we're gonna find out in a second. 19:05.701 --> 19:08.203 This is called The Walls Are Coming Down by Fanfalo. 19:08.803 --> 19:09.944 That's Fanfalo. 19:10.224 --> 19:13.707 We don't actually know where they're from, but we're assuming they're sort of European, right? 19:13.727 --> 19:15.268 Mmm, Scandinavian or something. 19:15.288 --> 19:16.329 There's a photo of them here. 19:16.349 --> 19:17.810 They're making a little human pyramid. 19:17.910 --> 19:22.793 Making a human pyramid in the garden, a nice garden of maybe their mother or someone like that. 19:22.813 --> 19:24.294 One, two, three, four, five men. 19:24.314 --> 19:24.714 Fanfalo. 19:24.735 --> 19:25.015 One lady. 19:25.755 --> 19:31.177 They sound a little bit like, you know, arcade fire and, um... Bit polyphonic spree, I got. 19:31.617 --> 19:32.377 Right, right, right. 19:32.938 --> 19:34.738 Like a big communal collective. 19:34.778 --> 19:36.299 How many of them are there in the pyramid? 19:36.379 --> 19:37.799 Five, I said already, five. 19:37.819 --> 19:39.020 There's not five, can you not count? 19:39.040 --> 19:40.240 One, two, three, four, there's six. 19:40.720 --> 19:42.901 If I said five men and one lady, six. 19:43.361 --> 19:44.201 I can't count, no. 19:46.042 --> 19:47.564 I can, because I'm Count Buckley's. 19:47.764 --> 19:48.185 Well done. 19:49.186 --> 19:51.849 This is BBC6 Music. 19:52.469 --> 19:53.090 Welcome along. 19:53.150 --> 19:53.811 Nice to have you here. 19:53.831 --> 19:55.132 It's a lovely Saturday afternoon. 19:55.973 --> 20:01.819 And we are going right now to catch up with Text the Nation in Retro Text the Nation. 20:01.839 --> 20:02.901 Oh, this is a disaster. 20:02.921 --> 20:03.521 So I'll do it. 20:03.702 --> 20:04.122 I'll do it. 20:04.182 --> 20:05.644 It's time for Retro Text the Nation. 20:06.391 --> 20:20.962 I like to listen to Adam and Joe But I listen to the podcast, not the live show I used to feel a cute frustration Cause I couldn't join in with Tex the Nation 20:21.622 --> 20:36.229 But now my troubles have disappeared Because Red's Road takes the nation's ear And now my letter might be read out Instead of thrown in the trash and forgotten about 20:37.093 --> 20:44.818 What a profoundly stirring jingle to kick off Retro Text the Nation. 20:46.138 --> 20:56.345 This is where we read out submissions for last week's Text the Nation subject so that people who've listened to the show on iPlayer and via the podcast can join in. 20:57.265 --> 21:00.409 And last week's Text the Nation subject, why can't I say that? 21:00.870 --> 21:06.537 Text the Nation, last week's Text the Nation subject was all about TV presenting annoyances. 21:07.619 --> 21:12.225 TV presenters, techniques or mannerisms that really get on your wick. 21:12.685 --> 21:15.409 And we got some furious correspondence, didn't we? 21:15.469 --> 21:17.130 People feel very passionately about it. 21:17.150 --> 21:18.911 It's something that everyone takes very seriously. 21:19.031 --> 21:28.117 And I was worried after last week's show that we'd maybe, you know, been reading out some quite personal insults to other castle presenters. 21:28.898 --> 21:30.399 And, of course, they weren't our opinions. 21:30.439 --> 21:32.020 They were the opinions of our listeners. 21:32.320 --> 21:38.124 But people getting really incensed about the minutiae of particular presenters, movements and mannerisms. 21:38.144 --> 21:38.924 And it's Shan Loyd. 21:38.964 --> 21:40.965 She came in for some fairly harsh criticism. 21:42.286 --> 21:43.707 It was very personal criticism. 21:43.747 --> 21:52.213 The master, the bald master chef presenter, seems to be one of the most irritating figures in the public sphere at the moment, wouldn't you say? 21:52.254 --> 21:53.855 Have you got a few messages there from listeners? 21:54.255 --> 21:55.136 We've got more, yes. 21:55.196 --> 21:56.497 Here's one from George Humphreys. 21:56.877 --> 22:00.700 He says, it really bothers me when people sit too close together on TV. 22:01.320 --> 22:05.022 This is best exemplified on the programme this week hosted by Andrew Neil. 22:05.422 --> 22:09.984 The regular guests, Diane Abbott and Michael Portillo, sit far too close together. 22:10.324 --> 22:11.604 It boggles my mind. 22:11.924 --> 22:13.185 Why not get a bigger couch? 22:13.625 --> 22:17.087 Surely they feel uncomfortable so close to each other's special zones. 22:17.627 --> 22:24.710 I imagine that TV presenting is a sweaty business, so sitting with at least 25% of your body area touching is nothing short of madness. 22:25.510 --> 22:30.295 So he's getting annoyed by physical proximity on the television. 22:30.375 --> 22:30.675 Yeah. 22:31.276 --> 22:33.257 He must spend a lot of his life very angry. 22:33.378 --> 22:35.820 I know what he means about Diane Abbott and Michael Portillo, though. 22:35.840 --> 22:36.120 They do. 22:36.140 --> 22:36.841 I've noticed that. 22:37.902 --> 22:40.144 But they have a kind of sexual chemistry anyway, though. 22:40.164 --> 22:40.624 They do. 22:41.385 --> 22:42.866 A very special sexual chemistry. 22:43.567 --> 22:44.027 programme. 22:44.087 --> 22:48.490 They're reaching across to each other from across the political boundaries spectrum. 22:48.650 --> 22:54.754 Michael from the right, Diane from the left, and it's a beautiful meeting of minds in the middle and bodies as well. 22:54.954 --> 22:55.895 It's very sexy. 22:56.215 --> 22:57.476 Here's one from Scott. 22:57.916 --> 23:11.185 He says, on bargain hunt, cash in the attic, etc., the presenters and experts, such as Wanacott, Dickinson and Martin, always feel they have to make idiotic puns that relate to the item up for auction. 23:11.605 --> 23:17.008 For example, a porcelain figure of a horse would get, let's hope it gallops away at auction. 23:17.889 --> 23:23.852 If that's not enough, they're constantly forcing the member of the public to disclose what they plan to do with the money. 23:24.333 --> 23:25.713 Surely that's none of their business. 23:25.854 --> 23:28.015 There's not a lot you can spend £40 on. 23:28.355 --> 23:31.237 It's just an excuse to get a final pun to end the segment. 23:31.657 --> 23:35.899 Well, the porcelain horse has ended up in pastures new, and I'm sure the £40 23:36.940 --> 23:39.822 help towards that trip to Australia to visit your dead father. 23:40.042 --> 23:42.344 That's all from us here at the auction rooms in Chiswick. 23:42.704 --> 23:43.525 That was from Scott. 23:43.565 --> 23:44.405 Thank you very much, Scott. 23:44.425 --> 23:45.046 That's well observed. 23:45.086 --> 23:45.906 That is very annoying. 23:45.966 --> 23:51.490 I mean, if you remove puns from the media, though, the whole infrastructure will come tumbling down. 23:51.550 --> 23:53.411 Plus, you've got to have some sympathy for those people. 23:53.471 --> 23:59.015 They do a one hour show every day, five days a week from different rubbish tips. 23:59.055 --> 24:00.156 So where does it come from? 24:01.056 --> 24:01.897 Places in the UK. 24:01.977 --> 24:07.321 Places in the UK, sorry, but it's like, isn't that the one that comes from like jumble sales or something? 24:07.341 --> 24:07.782 Fisting chips. 24:08.162 --> 24:09.263 Fisting chips. 24:09.763 --> 24:10.804 Anyway, I've got sympathy. 24:10.824 --> 24:12.585 They look so sort of tired and lost. 24:12.605 --> 24:12.745 I agree. 24:12.765 --> 24:15.447 They've been doing it for 15 years, every day. 24:15.467 --> 24:15.728 Yeah. 24:15.928 --> 24:16.568 Awful job. 24:19.751 --> 24:24.755 That's one of my tongues being sucked back into my toothless lizard mouth. 24:29.707 --> 24:31.249 Here's another one from Nicky in London. 24:49.751 --> 24:51.472 Actually, that's from Simon Corrigan. 24:51.492 --> 24:52.753 I've got two names at the end of that. 24:52.993 --> 24:55.114 It's either from Simon Corrigan or Nicky in London. 24:55.494 --> 24:58.856 But he or she is annoyed by these sound effects. 24:59.076 --> 25:00.056 That's a very bold claim. 25:00.096 --> 25:03.018 I don't believe the BBC would fake up sound effects on a nature dog. 25:03.038 --> 25:03.718 Oh, of course they do. 25:03.918 --> 25:04.459 Attenborough. 25:04.519 --> 25:05.399 You wouldn't do that. 25:05.419 --> 25:05.659 No way! 25:05.679 --> 25:08.541 They've got enough trouble getting the picture without the sound. 25:08.561 --> 25:08.761 You are. 25:08.841 --> 25:13.103 If they did that, they would have to put some sound effects created by a Foley artist. 25:13.143 --> 25:14.303 You're in the biz, right? 25:14.323 --> 25:17.065 If you want to get a polar bear, you don't get close with the camera. 25:17.085 --> 25:18.205 You stick it on a long lens. 25:18.245 --> 25:19.026 Yeah, directional mic. 25:19.426 --> 25:22.927 Yeah, but not at that distance in the polar land when it's windy. 25:22.947 --> 25:24.147 They've got good mics these days. 25:24.187 --> 25:26.167 Pick up lovely clean crunching, do you think? 25:26.267 --> 25:28.528 Or you get a tame bear in afterwards to do it, maybe. 25:28.648 --> 25:31.808 But you don't fake up sounds of nature. 25:32.108 --> 25:32.608 It's not faking. 25:33.409 --> 25:33.829 It is! 25:34.129 --> 25:36.809 It's just making, otherwise there wouldn't be any. 25:37.009 --> 25:45.391 One thing I do notice, though, is sometimes when you've got black and white footage on documentaries, especially of the war, bombs dropping, that kind of thing, which was clearly silent footage, right? 25:45.751 --> 25:45.971 Yeah. 25:46.311 --> 25:50.093 Then they put, like, mad explosions in the staff and all that sort of stuff. 25:50.133 --> 25:51.313 Apart for the course. 25:51.353 --> 25:52.794 But not Attenborough. 25:52.894 --> 25:53.674 Yeah, he does. 25:53.854 --> 25:54.215 No, none. 25:54.495 --> 25:55.695 Listen, support me on this. 25:56.055 --> 25:56.976 Support me on this. 25:57.176 --> 25:58.497 Dicky, get in touch. 25:58.637 --> 25:59.617 And Richard. 25:59.857 --> 26:02.338 Here's one from Luke in Manchester. 26:02.358 --> 26:03.559 David is what I mean. 26:04.139 --> 26:09.243 Although there are many annoying things about The X Factor, one thing infuriates me beyond reason. 26:09.623 --> 26:24.793 In this new series, they have the auditionees sing to a backing track and insist on cutting to a shot of a faceless sound engineer pushing up a fader before the start of each song, as if the audience's brains would incinerate at not knowing where this magical musak wonder was emanating. 26:25.193 --> 26:31.317 The only way me and my girlfriend can bear it is by sarcastically miming the action as it happens to diffuse the rage. 26:31.698 --> 26:33.819 We should probably just stop watching it, Luke in Manchester. 26:34.099 --> 26:36.443 Yeah, I noticed that definitely yeah, do you know what that is? 26:36.524 --> 26:45.760 I think it's like a cue to place your bets Because you never know whether they're gonna be awful or brilliant at that point And that's the kind of visual clue to say it's gonna be brilliant. 26:45.780 --> 26:46.481 It's gonna be awful 26:47.819 --> 26:50.621 I know what they mean though, it is a bit ridiculous, just pressing the play button. 26:50.721 --> 26:52.042 But it's a nice visual cue. 26:52.322 --> 26:53.443 I've changed my mind, it's not ridiculous. 26:53.963 --> 26:55.804 It's brilliant, it's one of my favourite bits of the program. 26:55.824 --> 26:57.065 You're impossible to pin down. 26:57.085 --> 26:57.505 I know, I am. 26:57.545 --> 26:58.806 Have you got another one? 26:58.866 --> 26:59.646 I'm mercurial. 27:00.147 --> 27:01.768 No, you read out one of the ones I had. 27:02.148 --> 27:03.469 Oh, have you not got some spare ones? 27:03.489 --> 27:03.729 No, I don't. 27:03.749 --> 27:04.229 Some extra ones. 27:04.289 --> 27:05.310 Some silver spill ones. 27:05.750 --> 27:06.190 Damn you. 27:06.311 --> 27:06.991 I've got another one. 27:07.011 --> 27:08.952 You can have one of mine if you want. 27:08.972 --> 27:10.993 I'm happy to listen to yours, I love the sound of your voice. 27:11.053 --> 27:11.394 Do you? 27:11.514 --> 27:11.694 Yeah. 27:14.275 --> 27:14.595 You know what? 27:14.615 --> 27:15.315 I've nearly run out. 27:15.335 --> 27:15.796 Here's another one. 27:16.416 --> 27:18.577 Miss Fiona Bruce, who we love. 27:18.977 --> 27:20.118 So this isn't our opinion. 27:20.598 --> 27:21.438 We love you Fiona. 27:21.638 --> 27:23.019 Miss Fiona Bruce, you want a what? 27:23.039 --> 27:25.160 I was going to say have an affair with her. 27:25.320 --> 27:25.640 With her? 27:25.780 --> 27:26.040 Yeah. 27:26.280 --> 27:26.580 Really? 27:27.141 --> 27:27.621 So do I. 27:28.001 --> 27:28.341 Do you? 27:28.541 --> 27:28.882 Yeah. 27:29.842 --> 27:30.683 Let's not get into this. 27:30.703 --> 27:32.184 No, I'll do Tuesdays. 27:33.585 --> 27:34.626 Many days she's free. 27:34.926 --> 27:43.932 Miss Fiona Bruce seems to have a habit on the news of sitting at the desk with her arms positioned in such a way that she is impersonating a Romulan from Star Trek The Next Generation. 27:44.492 --> 27:48.955 It appears that she is wearing a mildly irritating deodorant, Robert from Dumfresha. 27:49.796 --> 27:51.097 Now you know about Romulans. 27:54.162 --> 27:55.563 Do you like Star Trek? 27:56.364 --> 27:56.964 Is that right? 27:57.024 --> 27:58.565 What do you know about Romulans? 27:58.946 --> 28:01.428 I picked that one out specifically because of your Star Trek comments. 28:01.448 --> 28:02.748 I like Star Trek Next Generation. 28:02.969 --> 28:05.611 There's not that much Romulan action in The Next Generation. 28:05.851 --> 28:06.952 Do you think that's a fair point? 28:06.972 --> 28:07.912 It's more Borg based. 28:08.112 --> 28:09.173 Do you think that's a fair point? 28:09.253 --> 28:10.034 I don't know! 28:10.114 --> 28:11.595 I know more about the Borg! 28:11.655 --> 28:13.697 If they talked about that, I could comment. 28:14.137 --> 28:15.158 Romulans, I'm not fast. 28:15.738 --> 28:19.421 Alright, well that's the end of Retro Text the Nation, I think. 28:19.441 --> 28:22.803 A lot of very irrational fury about presenters. 28:23.243 --> 28:25.405 Thank you very much indeed for all your messages. 28:25.625 --> 28:27.006 Here's a free choice, this is yours, Joe. 28:27.206 --> 28:28.807 Yeah, this is a bit of Burt Yanch. 28:29.688 --> 28:31.429 Hang on, where's the piece of paper? 28:31.869 --> 28:34.792 Well, he became a member of Pentangle, didn't he? 28:34.852 --> 28:40.337 He's a kind of folk troubadour from the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s and 90s. 28:40.657 --> 28:42.379 He's like the cornerstone of the British folk scene. 28:42.439 --> 28:43.139 He kind of is. 28:43.239 --> 28:45.862 This is from his eponymous 1965 album. 28:46.762 --> 28:49.004 This is a track called Oh, How Your Love Is Strong. 28:49.665 --> 28:52.746 That was Polytechnic with Won't You Come Around. 28:52.966 --> 28:57.007 That was taken from their 2007 album, Down Till Dawn. 28:57.727 --> 29:05.549 And Guitarist, I'm sorry to tell you this listeners, but Guitarist Denny Hilton left the band in 2007. 29:08.350 --> 29:09.310 I'm really sorry about that. 29:09.330 --> 29:14.151 The four members left have begun to work on new material, so there's light at the end of the tunnel. 29:15.919 --> 29:24.829 But I think everybody was very shocked when Denny left in 2007 and the rest of the guys found it very difficult to carry on. 29:26.811 --> 29:32.578 But there is going to be, it looks as if there is going to be new material from Polytechnic, so that's okay. 29:32.979 --> 29:33.639 I'm very sorry. 29:33.659 --> 29:35.101 It's very unprofessional. 29:39.731 --> 29:41.933 I just wish that he would get in touch. 29:43.113 --> 29:45.334 I remember his belt. 29:45.354 --> 29:47.476 I don't know where he is or where he is. 29:47.496 --> 29:49.517 I don't think about his belt. 29:49.717 --> 29:50.317 Why? 29:50.557 --> 29:51.278 Why? 29:51.478 --> 29:53.759 Why did he leave? 29:54.119 --> 29:57.481 Why did he go from the van? 29:57.961 --> 29:59.542 What's he doing now? 30:03.046 --> 30:05.466 That's all I just wish he would call. 30:05.487 --> 30:07.167 Listen, fact check time, right? 30:07.287 --> 30:08.447 Fanfalo are English. 30:08.707 --> 30:09.007 Are they? 30:09.027 --> 30:12.788 They're not like, well, European so that we were right, but they're not Scandinavian. 30:14.668 --> 30:16.329 Also, listen to this Adam. 30:16.349 --> 30:16.629 Go on then. 30:17.889 --> 30:18.509 Hi Adam and Jo. 30:18.549 --> 30:19.869 A friend of mine is a dubbing artist. 30:19.909 --> 30:23.190 He said that all the sounds we hear on nature programs aren't authentic. 30:23.390 --> 30:25.631 They come from a data bank of pre-recorded sounds. 30:25.671 --> 30:26.471 Karen from Bristol. 30:26.851 --> 30:27.491 Sam in Edinburgh. 30:27.511 --> 30:32.112 I'm sorry Adam, but a great deal if not most of the sound effects on nature docs are done by a Foley artist. 30:32.552 --> 30:35.033 My soul withered a little when I found this out, but I got over it. 30:35.473 --> 30:36.173 Russell in Brighton. 30:36.413 --> 30:40.755 I remember a whole program years ago on a woman whose job was to make the Sounds for Nature features. 30:40.775 --> 30:42.815 A lot of knives and cabbages I record. 30:43.275 --> 30:45.096 But you... Yeah, I'm afraid. 30:45.776 --> 30:46.436 You are wrong. 30:46.916 --> 30:47.517 Here's someone. 30:47.937 --> 30:51.398 Do definitely create Sounds for Nature programs, including Attenborough. 30:51.598 --> 30:53.979 There have been documentaries about it on the DVDs. 30:54.179 --> 30:59.920 How else do you think they got a time-lapsed, growing bramble to creak on the plant series? 31:01.661 --> 31:06.144 Ah, it's easy to get a time-lapsed growing bramble to creak. 31:07.345 --> 31:07.765 No, hang on. 31:07.805 --> 31:14.169 The end of this text is, how else do you think they got a time-lapsed growing bramble to creak on the plant series, Adam? 31:14.429 --> 31:15.550 Return to schooling! 31:17.532 --> 31:18.372 Exclamation mark. 31:18.512 --> 31:19.853 I am naive. 31:19.973 --> 31:20.694 Certainly, I am naive. 31:20.994 --> 31:26.938 But I just assumed that in the modern climate of transparency and accountability, 31:27.478 --> 31:29.120 that you wouldn't be allowed to get away with things like that. 31:29.140 --> 31:33.705 But there was a big fuss about them into cutting like a wide shot of a real squirrel with a close-up of a squirrel. 31:33.806 --> 31:43.657 I know nature documentaries are, to some extent, a tissue of lies, but I assumed that nowadays you had to, like, be completely transparent about it and have, like, bare grills done at the beginning of the program. 31:44.554 --> 31:45.354 Well, this is the thing. 31:45.394 --> 31:46.155 Is it completely or not? 31:46.175 --> 31:49.356 If it was completely transparent, all nature programs would have to be live. 31:49.836 --> 31:51.357 I'm an advocate. 31:51.537 --> 31:55.459 I liked it in the old days when everyone would lie through their teeth about everything on TV. 31:55.559 --> 31:56.839 I thought that was much more fun. 31:57.320 --> 31:58.820 I didn't care about knowing the truth. 31:58.840 --> 32:02.242 I didn't want to know the absolute truth about everything and competitions and all that rubbish. 32:02.722 --> 32:09.085 But now in the modern climate of having to be totally 100% honest about the way everything is done in a tedious way. 32:09.585 --> 32:14.787 I can't believe that they are getting fake creaks on time-lapse growing brambles. 32:14.807 --> 32:17.289 I can't believe you've got over Danny so quickly. 32:17.309 --> 32:19.910 I can't believe you mentioned him again. 32:19.930 --> 32:20.590 Is that real? 32:20.670 --> 32:23.131 Do you really care about him or was that just fake? 32:23.151 --> 32:25.052 Of course I care about him. 32:25.112 --> 32:26.293 Why would I fake that? 32:26.313 --> 32:28.074 You can't fake that. 32:28.714 --> 32:29.934 Here's a letter from a listener. 32:30.955 --> 32:32.115 This is from Simon Nichols. 32:32.375 --> 32:35.317 He's 21, he's male and he's from Hemel Hempstead. 32:35.937 --> 32:37.958 Dear Adam and Jo, I'm a massive fan of the show. 32:38.318 --> 32:43.221 I work Saturdays, so I've never been part of Black Squadron, I'm afraid, but I do love the podcast. 32:43.601 --> 32:46.682 One of my favourite times to listen to your podcast is when I'm in the bath. 32:47.142 --> 32:50.424 I often tell my parents I'm going for my Adam and Jo bath. 32:51.064 --> 33:00.449 I put my laptop on the other side of the bathroom and leave a podcast on while I have a nice wash, and then I towel up and shuffle back to my room to finish listening. 33:01.232 --> 33:09.022 So this week, I was sitting on my bed having just returned to my room and I was listening to the podcast when I spied a whisper gold on my table. 33:09.163 --> 33:12.527 And then he says in brackets, other chocolate bars are available. 33:12.627 --> 33:15.031 So he's doing the work for us there. 33:15.071 --> 33:15.731 Thank you for that. 33:16.332 --> 33:19.594 I had just started eating the chocolate when there was a knock at the door. 33:19.994 --> 33:20.614 I froze. 33:20.934 --> 33:24.656 Suddenly, I realized I was completely naked, eating chocolate, listening to Adam and Joe. 33:25.137 --> 33:29.659 My mum, having no concept of the point of knocking, threw open the door and stepped in. 33:29.859 --> 33:31.640 You can imagine the embarrassment that ensued. 33:31.980 --> 33:36.202 Me, sat in front of a laptop, listening to Adam and Joe with a half-eaten chalk bar in my hand. 33:36.762 --> 33:38.443 Eyes like a rabbit caught in the headlights. 33:38.723 --> 33:41.665 She simply gasped at my nudity and turned around. 33:41.905 --> 33:43.486 As she left the room, I shouted after her, 33:43.866 --> 33:44.847 That's right, Mum! 33:45.027 --> 33:46.348 This is what I do now! 33:48.429 --> 33:50.270 I'm not entirely sure why. 33:50.610 --> 33:51.751 We laughed about it later. 33:52.071 --> 33:53.672 Thanks much, Sam Nichols. 33:54.192 --> 33:54.833 Thanks a lot for that. 33:54.853 --> 33:56.834 I just thought I'd read that out as a nice little image. 33:57.254 --> 33:59.295 That's a couple of curious things about that. 33:59.755 --> 34:00.596 How old is that man? 34:00.616 --> 34:00.596 21. 34:00.636 --> 34:04.839 21. 34:00.896 --> 34:04.839 Your mum seeing you naked at 21? 34:05.459 --> 34:06.339 Is that slightly odd? 34:06.620 --> 34:07.380 Yeah, very odd. 34:07.800 --> 34:08.241 Odds? 34:08.261 --> 34:10.042 When was the last time your mum saw you naked? 34:11.058 --> 34:13.001 Well, not for a very long time. 34:13.021 --> 34:15.083 Do you think there should be a national nude day? 34:15.724 --> 34:17.546 No. 34:18.167 --> 34:18.988 You don't think so? 34:19.048 --> 34:20.810 You don't think it would clear up a lot of mysteries? 34:21.191 --> 34:22.713 Oh no, those are the mysteries I don't want. 34:22.753 --> 34:23.734 Come to work nude? 34:23.774 --> 34:24.255 No thanks. 34:24.375 --> 34:24.916 Do you think? 34:25.056 --> 34:25.476 Why not? 34:25.516 --> 34:26.698 Are you afraid of something? 34:26.898 --> 34:28.560 No, I think... Have you got something to hide? 34:28.740 --> 34:28.901 What? 34:29.381 --> 34:43.214 saggy butox yes of course man breast obviously i've got something to hide i don't want to walk around nude if i was some kind of a donus not like lord adonis who cruelly is rather an unattractive man but i you should go 34:50.621 --> 34:52.743 You know, if I was sexy, of course I'd walk around nude. 34:53.203 --> 34:53.843 This is nonsense. 34:54.043 --> 34:54.884 Let's play some more music. 34:54.924 --> 34:56.145 Hang on. 34:56.165 --> 34:58.626 The other thing is that's an ambitious bath. 34:58.687 --> 34:59.667 Laptop in the bath? 34:59.827 --> 35:02.549 No, he made a point of saying he puts it at the other end of the bathroom. 35:02.629 --> 35:07.552 I was talking to someone on the phone, and he was on the phone in the bath with his laptop in the bath. 35:07.673 --> 35:08.033 What?! 35:08.293 --> 35:09.274 That's ambitious, isn't it? 35:09.294 --> 35:10.054 That's irresponsible. 35:10.074 --> 35:12.976 It got me thinking, what's the most ambitious you've ever been with a bath? 35:13.236 --> 35:13.837 Ambitious. 35:13.857 --> 35:15.978 Do you know what I mean in terms of stuff to do in there? 35:16.178 --> 35:18.600 Well, like, put a little mini Hadron Collider in there. 35:18.640 --> 35:19.620 Yeah, other than wash. 35:21.483 --> 35:22.945 Oh, what's the most ambitious? 35:23.165 --> 35:23.926 That's a good question. 35:23.946 --> 35:25.409 Trying to multitask in the bath. 35:25.429 --> 35:28.193 Because, you know, I've never used my laptop in the bath. 35:28.233 --> 35:31.277 I'd be terrified that the steam would break it. 35:31.337 --> 35:32.319 Yeah, but people do. 35:32.800 --> 35:33.481 That's moronic. 35:33.921 --> 35:34.943 Anyway, just one. 35:35.279 --> 35:36.399 Interesting question, though. 35:36.519 --> 35:38.440 Things you've done in multitasking in the bath. 35:38.660 --> 35:41.141 We'd love to hear your thoughts, listeners. 35:41.161 --> 35:41.781 64046 is the text. 35:42.242 --> 35:43.082 And you can email us. 35:43.262 --> 35:47.424 Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 35:47.444 --> 35:48.184 Here's some great music. 35:48.204 --> 35:49.384 This is in this viral cover. 35:49.624 --> 35:52.465 That was the Inspiral Carpets with This Is How It Feels. 35:52.505 --> 35:55.226 That was an accurate evocation of how it feels to be lonely, Joe. 35:55.527 --> 35:55.927 Really? 35:56.147 --> 35:58.648 Yeah, and how it feels when your life means nothing at all. 35:59.028 --> 35:59.288 God. 35:59.893 --> 36:01.576 It's Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 36:01.716 --> 36:05.421 I think it's time that we got into this week's... Text the Nation! 36:05.441 --> 36:06.062 Here's the jingle! 36:08.305 --> 36:09.127 Text the Nation! 36:09.167 --> 36:09.467 Text! 36:09.527 --> 36:09.828 Text! 36:09.888 --> 36:10.228 Text! 36:10.348 --> 36:11.069 Text the Nation! 36:11.150 --> 36:12.111 What if I don't want to? 36:12.371 --> 36:13.092 Text the Nation! 36:13.173 --> 36:14.174 But I'm using email. 36:14.354 --> 36:15.095 Is that a problem? 36:15.115 --> 36:15.676 It doesn't matter! 36:15.716 --> 36:15.937 Text! 36:18.342 --> 36:27.789 Now I'm a small man, listeners, a small, hairy, angry man, and I tend to get into confrontations with authority on a fairly regular basis. 36:28.269 --> 36:32.572 I've spoken before on this programme about confrontations that I've had with parking wardens. 36:33.193 --> 36:42.200 Incidentally, I heard this sketch on the Mitchell and Webb sound on Radio 4 this week, which was kind of a bizarre apologia, is that the word, for parking wardens. 36:42.560 --> 36:43.981 The premise of the sketch was like, 36:44.401 --> 36:53.964 some guy going in and having a meeting, and he was a parking warden, and it was a meeting in the Ministry of having to stick up pointlessly for your job or something like that. 36:54.784 --> 37:03.346 And so it started off with him saying all the obvious things that are annoying about parking wardens, and the panel was saying, you know, what's the point of your job? 37:03.846 --> 37:06.927 And then he basically listed all the useful things about parking wardens. 37:06.947 --> 37:07.787 Was that David Mitchell? 37:08.188 --> 37:09.208 It was both of them. 37:09.428 --> 37:09.628 Right. 37:10.228 --> 37:17.211 And it was all the, I mean, I don't know who the sketch was written by, but it was just a big long list of why you do need parking restrictions. 37:17.291 --> 37:18.751 That sounds like a Mitchell sketch to me. 37:19.252 --> 37:20.132 It's the way he thinks. 37:20.572 --> 37:27.217 Because he gets, presumably he gets irritated by people moaning about parking wardens and he goes, well, actually, you know, they're doing an important job. 37:27.677 --> 37:29.679 But I just thought, obviously they're doing an important job. 37:29.719 --> 37:30.939 Yes, you need parking restrictions. 37:31.280 --> 37:43.048 The reason people get in rucks with these kinds of people is generally because in specific instances, they're behaving like toilet bowls and you get very frustrated and you feel powerless. 37:43.228 --> 37:44.149 Yes, right. 37:44.289 --> 37:44.709 It's true. 37:45.110 --> 37:54.517 So that's that's by way of excusing the following anecdote, because, you know, it's always possible that I behave like a toilet bowl in these situations. 37:54.717 --> 38:01.582 Anyway, over the summer, right, I was doing a little bit of work at Teddington Studios, beautiful Teddington, and I would cycle there every morning. 38:02.563 --> 38:05.825 And right at the end of my cycle, I'd go across Richmond Park. 38:06.226 --> 38:10.429 There was a little bridge to get across the river to get to Teddington Studios, right. 38:10.889 --> 38:12.731 And it was a pedestrian footbridge thing. 38:14.112 --> 38:21.277 And basically it was clear that if there were other people walking on the footbridge, the best thing to do would not be to cycle across it, right? 38:21.517 --> 38:22.658 Because it was fairly narrow. 38:23.438 --> 38:27.481 So if there were people on this footbridge, I would always get off my bike and wheel it across. 38:27.741 --> 38:31.564 But then one morning I arrived at the footbridge, no one on the footbridge, right? 38:31.824 --> 38:33.065 And I was pretty late as well. 38:33.505 --> 38:35.186 So I just cruised right across. 38:36.287 --> 38:43.112 Right at the end of the footbridge, a couple was just starting to walk onto the bridge, so I slowed right down. 38:43.993 --> 38:45.073 How wide is this bridge? 38:45.434 --> 38:47.815 I would say... How wide is this bridge? 38:47.855 --> 38:48.456 How wide is that? 38:48.476 --> 38:48.996 Like two metres? 38:52.188 --> 38:53.429 Something like that? 38:53.529 --> 38:53.970 Yeah, yeah. 38:54.510 --> 38:55.011 It's decent. 38:55.031 --> 38:59.495 You've got, like, passing... Room for a bike and a couple to pass without any friction. 38:59.775 --> 39:03.618 Well, no, you'd have to... I mean, I would say... You'd have to give way. 39:03.799 --> 39:04.760 You'd have to give way, yeah. 39:04.800 --> 39:11.626 So anyway, so I slowed right down and I kind of pulled over to one side to let the couple pass, and then I carried on down. 39:12.066 --> 39:16.889 And there was a young community police officer at the other end, right? 39:16.949 --> 39:22.272 And he's got all his gear on, and he's got his mirror shades on, and he's absolutely loving being a community police officer. 39:22.632 --> 39:23.873 And he's on his bike as well. 39:24.493 --> 39:26.954 So he holds up his hand, stop, loser. 39:27.515 --> 39:30.836 And he must have been about, I mean, he was young, you know, he was like about 27, something. 39:32.698 --> 39:34.961 So he goes, I think, oh, here we go. 39:35.322 --> 39:36.223 He goes, stop, please. 39:37.364 --> 39:39.667 Um, any idea why I stopped you, sir? 39:41.269 --> 39:43.653 That old chestnut, you know, and you're like, oh, here we go. 39:43.833 --> 39:45.075 I can't believe it. 39:45.095 --> 39:45.836 So I was like, no, no, no. 39:47.449 --> 39:49.972 Any idea at all why I might have stopped you there?" 39:50.052 --> 39:53.235 And it's like, I said, could you tell me why you stopped me? 39:53.295 --> 39:53.716 They shouldn't. 39:53.756 --> 39:57.079 They should be stopped from starting conversations like that, shouldn't they? 39:57.099 --> 39:57.179 Yeah. 39:57.199 --> 39:58.100 Because it infers. 39:58.180 --> 40:01.184 It's such a patronising place to start a conversation from. 40:01.204 --> 40:02.725 It's absolutely infuriating. 40:02.765 --> 40:04.247 And I said, listen, I'm really sorry. 40:04.267 --> 40:05.008 I'm in a hurry. 40:05.028 --> 40:06.349 Could you please tell me what I did wrong? 40:06.369 --> 40:09.412 He said, right, step off your bike, please, sir. 40:10.353 --> 40:14.476 And it's like, ah, he's deliberately like, he knows I'm in a hurry, he can see I'm frustrated. 40:14.716 --> 40:18.138 He's deliberately like slowing everything down, making it as maddening as possible. 40:18.799 --> 40:19.719 So I get off my bike. 40:19.739 --> 40:21.660 I'm like, okay, can you, I'm really sorry. 40:21.781 --> 40:23.282 I'm sorry if I'm like a little jittery. 40:23.582 --> 40:24.202 I'm really late. 40:24.562 --> 40:25.243 I really want to go. 40:25.523 --> 40:26.944 Could you just please tell me what I did wrong? 40:27.084 --> 40:29.345 I can avoid doing it again in the future, is what I said, right? 40:29.946 --> 40:32.728 So this guy says, I've got any ID on you, please. 40:33.628 --> 40:34.469 Oh my goodness. 40:34.909 --> 40:36.151 So I get out my ID. 40:36.171 --> 40:39.894 I'm like, can you please, you know, can you please tell me what I did wrong? 40:39.914 --> 40:42.076 Have you got a giant beard at this stage? 40:42.296 --> 40:43.657 Not giant, like a normal beard. 40:43.677 --> 40:44.358 Normal one, cool. 40:45.199 --> 40:46.600 And he's still wearing his mirror shades. 40:46.640 --> 40:48.602 I say, can you take your sunglasses off, please? 40:49.202 --> 40:50.844 So he takes his sunglasses off, right? 40:51.084 --> 40:55.087 And he's looking at me and he's like, right, so, shall I tell you why I stopped? 40:55.127 --> 40:56.988 I was like, yes, please, that would be great. 40:57.909 --> 41:02.391 You were cycling on the footbridge there, so I was like, yeah, I was cycling on the footbridge, what's the problem? 41:02.472 --> 41:03.932 There's no cycling on the footbridge. 41:03.952 --> 41:07.755 I was like, right, but, all right, I won't do it again. 41:07.795 --> 41:12.078 He's like, did you see the couple there, sir? 41:12.198 --> 41:13.559 And I was like, yeah, I did, they were right at the end. 41:14.039 --> 41:17.760 Like, well, you made no attempt to get off your bike when you were cycling across the footbridge. 41:17.780 --> 41:19.521 I was like, no, because there was no one on the footbridge. 41:19.821 --> 41:22.102 There was no one there, so I was not endangering anyone. 41:22.722 --> 41:24.303 Yeah, you made no attempt to get off your bike. 41:24.363 --> 41:27.884 I know, I just said that I made no attempt to get off my bike because there was no one on the footbridge. 41:28.344 --> 41:30.745 Cut a long story short, he gives me a ticket. 41:30.765 --> 41:31.466 30 quid. 41:31.626 --> 41:32.166 Is it a £30 fine? 41:32.186 --> 41:32.546 £30 on the spot fine. 41:32.626 --> 41:33.266 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 41:35.607 --> 41:36.528 Unbelievable. 41:36.768 --> 41:39.889 I said, do you give tickets to every single person you see on a bike? 41:39.909 --> 41:42.491 Because you see loads of people cycling on this footbridge, right? 41:42.551 --> 41:43.711 Even when there's a lot of people on there. 41:43.912 --> 41:46.893 I said, do you ticket every single person you see on a bike? 41:46.913 --> 41:48.614 He said, no, I use my discretion. 41:48.834 --> 41:55.798 But why do you use your discretion now for someone who cycled across the footbridge with no one on the footbridge? 41:56.238 --> 41:57.339 I wasn't saying it like that. 41:57.720 --> 41:58.541 You were thinking that. 41:58.581 --> 41:59.582 But I was thinking that. 41:59.602 --> 42:00.503 I wanted to throttle him. 42:00.783 --> 42:03.226 And I was thinking, I'm just going to get on my bike and cycle away. 42:03.426 --> 42:04.407 And there's going to be a bike chase. 42:04.768 --> 42:08.812 And I was thinking, you know, I would I would cycle off and I'd get into work and there would be this. 42:08.833 --> 42:14.759 And they would end up in a film studio like classic bike chases and you'd be weaving between people in costumes carrying big props. 42:15.700 --> 42:16.121 Oh, yes. 42:17.262 --> 42:20.485 And I was thinking, could I lose the community police officer if I'm on my bike? 42:21.005 --> 42:22.866 And then I just thought, no, life's too short. 42:23.066 --> 42:25.768 It would escalate into a huge international manhunt. 42:25.909 --> 42:27.049 I just couldn't believe. 42:27.110 --> 42:29.351 I said, you are a disgrace. 42:29.531 --> 42:35.336 So this is the subject of Text the Nation is run-ins you've had with petty officialdom. 42:35.396 --> 42:37.357 Petty officialdom, an authority of that kind. 42:37.858 --> 42:40.019 I had a similar thing on a train, which I'll tell you about. 42:40.039 --> 42:42.161 We're talking about security guards in shops. 42:42.941 --> 43:03.987 community police support officers real policemen could we talk about that sure anyone in a position of authority infuriating run-ins with with petty officialdom I had a very similar thing along the embankment on my bike with two community police support officers cycling along a totally empty pavement and they pulled over in their van and told me to get off the bike 43:04.247 --> 43:04.447 Yeah. 43:04.647 --> 43:06.269 I wasn't in the way of anybody. 43:06.349 --> 43:08.230 And it was by a very dangerous main road. 43:08.991 --> 43:14.635 And so I said to them, I said, God, this is, you know, this is really stupid and a waste of your time. 43:15.295 --> 43:16.136 How did they respond? 43:16.176 --> 43:16.957 They looked angry. 43:17.877 --> 43:19.438 They looked as if they're about to ticket me. 43:19.559 --> 43:21.660 And then I said, how much is the fine? 43:21.700 --> 43:22.481 Is it 10 pounds? 43:23.001 --> 43:25.422 Because I've been thinking about it for a while, I thought I'd just pay it. 43:26.062 --> 43:32.544 You know, I'd almost pay £10 for the pleasure of being able to cycle, for, you know, like a ticket to cycle on the pavement. 43:33.024 --> 43:35.384 It's like only £2 more than the congestion charge. 43:36.805 --> 43:43.567 They looked as if they were going to bust me, but then I backpedaled and went, but, you know, you're only following the rules and I'm breaking them, so that's fine. 43:44.227 --> 43:44.887 I tried that. 43:45.047 --> 43:51.289 I tried to squirm out of my fine, but this guy was absolutely, you know, he decided that Buckley's needed a ticket. 43:52.149 --> 43:53.309 That's infuriating. 43:53.709 --> 43:54.390 Did you take his number? 43:54.410 --> 43:56.850 Because that's the thing to do after the G20 protests, right? 43:56.870 --> 43:58.390 When they're all hiding their numbers. 43:58.791 --> 44:00.891 Now you go, I want to take your number and you write it down. 44:00.931 --> 44:03.412 I think I did that, but then I just can't be bothered. 44:03.432 --> 44:04.072 Give him the willies. 44:04.092 --> 44:05.052 Say the flipping fire. 44:05.112 --> 44:08.453 So text us on... What's the text number? 44:08.793 --> 44:08.453 64046. 44:09.473 --> 44:18.975 With your stories of run-ins, with officialdom, petty officialdom, security guards, any kind of person in a position of power who abuses it. 44:19.375 --> 44:23.157 Now here's a track from, is this guy called Mike Snow, but he spelled it with two I's? 44:23.878 --> 44:25.159 Mike Snow. 44:25.179 --> 44:27.140 Is that right? 44:27.180 --> 44:27.941 Meekay, probably. 44:27.961 --> 44:29.341 Meekay Snow. 44:29.562 --> 44:30.322 This is Black and Blue. 44:31.003 --> 44:34.024 Meekay Snow with Black and Blue. 44:34.465 --> 44:38.307 Joe Cornish, unprofessional, next door, as the song finishes. 44:38.848 --> 44:39.348 Here he comes. 44:40.028 --> 44:40.609 What were you doing? 44:40.769 --> 44:41.750 Just getting some things. 44:41.830 --> 44:42.751 Getting some things. 44:43.191 --> 44:45.713 Some bath stuff, we got some good bath stuff, I printed it out. 44:45.773 --> 45:00.585 We were chatting about baths and someone pointed out, I was ranting earlier on about how I don't think there's any reason to have a meal on the pavement outside a restaurant and I was speculating that it would be absurd to have a cocktail bar and a public toilet. 45:00.905 --> 45:04.408 Someone's emailed and said there is one up in sort of Hoxton area. 45:04.648 --> 45:07.369 But I don't think it's a fully functioning public toilet. 45:07.409 --> 45:08.770 I think it used to be a public toilet. 45:08.970 --> 45:10.470 They've converted into a bar. 45:11.091 --> 45:11.851 There's a similar thing. 45:11.871 --> 45:15.092 There's a comedy club in Shepherd's Bush that's similar to that, I think. 45:15.733 --> 45:21.115 But you can't have, like, weeing and cocktails shaking going on in close proximity. 45:21.275 --> 45:25.717 Well, but then our producer James pointed out that bars in pools, in swimming pools. 45:25.837 --> 45:26.137 Oh, yeah. 45:26.817 --> 45:28.258 There's probably a lot of that goes on. 45:28.846 --> 45:32.807 No, but if it does happen, well, you think people are sat there in the pool bar. 45:32.828 --> 45:40.170 Well, we were saying that when I was young, the idea of a bar in a swimming pool seemed to me like the height of sophistication and luxury. 45:40.230 --> 45:41.371 And amazing to be honest. 45:41.391 --> 45:41.891 And it is. 45:42.031 --> 45:44.672 I've been on my honeymoon. 45:44.732 --> 45:46.212 I've been in one. 45:46.513 --> 45:55.756 But then you could imagine that James, our producer, was talking about when he went to and there was a man sitting there sort of propping up the bar, so to speak, and he'd been there a long time. 45:56.257 --> 45:57.078 He was just a drunken man. 45:57.098 --> 45:58.099 He was drinking a lot. 45:58.420 --> 45:58.780 Yeah. 45:58.941 --> 46:01.004 Yeah, but it would be very easy just to let one. 46:01.124 --> 46:04.569 Certainly the temptation is not to get out of the pool and go to the lab. 46:04.689 --> 46:06.953 If the water's a little bit warmer around the bar. 46:09.582 --> 46:10.102 door one. 46:11.923 --> 46:18.046 But we were asking about ambitious baths, stuff you've tried to do in the bath, you know, just to make it a bit more interesting. 46:18.446 --> 46:22.108 Here's an email from Vicky Fabry in London. 46:23.589 --> 46:28.751 My boyfriend, early on in the relationship I was being moody so when I arrived at his house he said, let's have a bath. 46:29.352 --> 46:34.574 A fairly usual Saturday night activity for both of us that usually involves the weekend papers. 46:34.854 --> 46:35.455 Special bath. 46:35.655 --> 46:38.056 And they've got a big bath or do you think they just cram in together? 46:38.647 --> 46:55.121 yeah i mean that is in our bath that would not be a good idea conventional bath anyway when i went up to the bathroom however i found a laptop my projector and a bed sheet held vertically taught on two poles so that we could watch a movie in the bath i'm a big film fan he generally hates them 46:55.842 --> 47:00.026 This is already a pretty good feat in itself and an unusually romantic gesture for him. 47:00.326 --> 47:14.039 But on top of that, the bath didn't stay warm for long and we ran out of hot water so my boyfriend got the camping stove, heated the camping kettle next to the bath and topped it up whilst simultaneously watching the film. 47:14.119 --> 47:15.440 He's the best boyfriend in the world! 47:15.460 --> 47:16.661 It's pretty incredible, isn't it? 47:16.981 --> 47:19.684 And there's probably popcorn floating on the surface of the water as well. 47:19.704 --> 47:22.006 Do you think that would be nice though after about half an hour? 47:22.773 --> 47:23.453 be awful, wouldn't it? 47:23.473 --> 47:24.654 It started being kind of horrible. 47:24.914 --> 47:28.595 Surely because you'd get pruney and... Well say you just feel weird, wouldn't you? 47:29.195 --> 47:32.256 Yeah, I think half an hour is probably tops for a bath, isn't it? 47:32.356 --> 47:32.797 Definitely. 47:32.817 --> 47:34.157 Watch some cartoons or something. 47:34.197 --> 47:37.998 But committing to setting up a whole film with a projector and everything. 47:38.018 --> 47:39.439 Yes, it was high-mat as well. 47:41.411 --> 47:43.912 It was showa, watching it in the bath. 47:44.072 --> 47:48.813 Here's another one about ambitious baths from Jimmy in Glasgow. 47:49.313 --> 48:10.180 Twas in my lazy student days and I was spending a Sunday afternoon relaxing in the bath but relaxing meant taking the radio in so that I could listen to that afternoon's football match as well as the TV so I could watch one of those generic results programs to keep up to date with all matches and as it was Saturday afternoon listening to football I had a few beers and smoked a few fags. 48:12.660 --> 48:13.280 in the bath. 48:13.841 --> 48:14.601 Is that classy? 48:14.921 --> 48:21.042 And we should remind younger listeners it's very dangerous to bring electrical appliances that are connected to the mains into the bathroom. 48:21.142 --> 48:21.722 Obviously. 48:21.742 --> 48:23.423 I mean that is absolutely lethal. 48:23.483 --> 48:26.304 But that's a pretty impressive bath there for James. 48:26.384 --> 48:29.564 To say nothing of drinking and smoking which is also extremely bad for you. 48:29.584 --> 48:30.204 That's disgusting. 48:30.444 --> 48:32.385 And we would never encourage it here at the castle. 48:32.907 --> 48:34.769 Right, here's a free play for you now, listeners. 48:34.889 --> 48:35.931 This is the Pixies. 48:35.951 --> 48:39.335 They're going to be in town soon, playing gigs that are already sold out. 48:39.655 --> 48:41.117 And I failed to get myself a ticket. 48:41.177 --> 48:42.899 I'm going to try and wangle my way in. 48:42.919 --> 48:44.240 Do you reckon I can do it? 48:44.300 --> 48:46.283 Yeah, you can try and do some wangling. 48:47.144 --> 48:52.570 This is from their album Bossa Nova, and it's a lovely song that always makes me feel as if I'm on holiday when I'm listening to it. 48:52.610 --> 48:53.111 Have a leaner. 48:53.371 --> 48:54.432 Pixies with javelina. 48:54.452 --> 48:56.254 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC six music. 48:56.314 --> 48:59.197 It's just gone 10 30s time for the news Good stuff. 48:59.217 --> 49:00.899 That's heads will roll from the yeah. 49:00.939 --> 49:01.099 Yeah. 49:01.119 --> 49:01.380 Yes. 49:01.440 --> 49:03.302 That's from their very good album. 49:03.482 --> 49:06.365 It's blitz That came out this year, right? 49:06.905 --> 49:08.367 Feels like it's been around longer than that 49:08.607 --> 49:09.728 Well, it's such classic sounds. 49:09.768 --> 49:11.008 It's an absolute classic sound. 49:11.308 --> 49:13.169 From the sound like they're from the path. 49:13.229 --> 49:14.490 It's one of the albums of the year. 49:14.510 --> 49:15.630 It's going to be topping the poles. 49:15.670 --> 49:17.011 One of my albums of the year. 49:17.071 --> 49:18.112 It's on top of my pole. 49:18.172 --> 49:18.452 Is it? 49:18.472 --> 49:19.732 Or regularly. 49:20.333 --> 49:22.033 Is it spinning around on top of your pole? 49:22.053 --> 49:23.154 Yeah. 49:23.234 --> 49:24.675 That's going to be happening shortly though, isn't it? 49:24.695 --> 49:25.695 It's nearly the end of the year. 49:25.735 --> 49:27.196 All the poles are going to be coming out. 49:27.256 --> 49:27.576 God. 49:28.116 --> 49:28.957 Oh my gosh. 49:29.777 --> 49:30.898 Shall we have some textination? 49:31.138 --> 49:31.438 Sure. 49:36.980 --> 49:37.942 What if I don't want to? 49:38.403 --> 49:40.928 But I'm using email, is that a problem? 49:40.948 --> 49:41.809 It doesn't matter, text! 49:44.209 --> 49:59.379 Text the Nation this week is all about run-ins with petty officialdom, security guards, people who've been given some spurious type of power wherever they work or in some kind of public space and who try and... Well, sometimes actual power backed up by law. 49:59.399 --> 49:59.799 Yeah, no spurious. 49:59.979 --> 50:00.780 It's always spurious. 50:01.960 --> 50:04.782 And yeah, who try and ruin your life by using it, right? 50:05.062 --> 50:12.947 Yeah, especially times where they perhaps wield their power unfairly and times where they could use their discretion and don't, you know what I mean? 50:14.408 --> 50:15.690 Here's one from Felix. 50:16.350 --> 50:22.035 I once got cross in B&Q when I realised a security guard was following me, so I began to follow him. 50:22.716 --> 50:24.978 That'll teach him to think I'm gonna nick stuff, I thought. 50:25.458 --> 50:27.340 So we set off up and down the aisles. 50:27.620 --> 50:27.820 Ha! 50:28.060 --> 50:29.462 Deal with this, Mr. Guard! 50:30.042 --> 50:32.304 Eventually he stopped, so I stopped too. 50:32.925 --> 50:34.907 Then he asked me if I was following him. 50:35.867 --> 50:36.328 Uh, no! 50:36.608 --> 50:37.689 Why would I be, I said. 50:38.069 --> 50:39.631 I was just looking for this. 50:40.424 --> 50:42.895 And I left and had to buy an attachment for a garden hose. 50:43.357 --> 50:44.200 But I didn't have. 50:44.301 --> 50:45.285 What a bun hole. 50:46.115 --> 50:47.075 Love from Felix. 50:47.756 --> 50:48.376 That's quite good. 50:48.416 --> 50:50.596 They really annoy me, security guards in shops. 50:50.636 --> 50:51.017 Yeah. 50:51.097 --> 50:55.098 Because they do a sort of biological determinism. 50:55.458 --> 50:56.158 Is that a phrase? 50:56.398 --> 50:56.778 Yes, it is. 50:56.818 --> 51:00.560 Where they just make a judgment on your appearance and decide to follow you. 51:01.000 --> 51:01.740 It's future crime. 51:01.760 --> 51:02.920 It's minority reports. 51:03.000 --> 51:03.341 Right. 51:03.741 --> 51:08.382 It's like when the police film protesters at a protest, just in case they do anything in the future. 51:09.302 --> 51:10.423 I don't think it should be allowed. 51:10.743 --> 51:10.943 No. 51:11.203 --> 51:13.664 I think it's the slippery slope. 51:14.364 --> 51:32.172 physical profiling well you know that's like the sus laws isn't it I'm extrapolating quite wildly there from a minor instant in a record shop I like the way you brought in minority reports as well but that's a good way that's a very good way to turn the tables don't you think yeah do a bit of following I've done that myself yes it's not a good idea business why not 51:32.492 --> 51:37.614 Because it always ends in tears, it ends up with you feeling like, what do you think the best case scenario, how's that gonna end? 51:37.654 --> 51:39.655 You know, with the guy sort of saying, listen, I'm sorry. 51:40.715 --> 51:47.558 I've realised now that you've followed me that I... With him bursting into tears and stripping off his uniform and saying, I'm gonna get a proper job. 51:47.738 --> 51:48.238 Yeah, yeah. 51:49.239 --> 51:52.321 Here is another one from I believe an anonymous texter. 51:52.862 --> 52:01.930 I was once exhaustively upbraided by an officer from the transport police for the crime of aiming a kick in the general direction of the train I'd just missed. 52:02.550 --> 52:07.675 Despite the train being several yards away, I was apparently quote, endangering life on the railway. 52:08.466 --> 52:12.108 No, just a random air kick in frustration. 52:12.128 --> 52:12.809 Sounds like it. 52:13.209 --> 52:14.229 That is classic. 52:14.349 --> 52:17.971 I would go absolutely ballistic if I got upgraded on that one. 52:18.772 --> 52:20.333 Here's one from Nate in Harrogate. 52:20.813 --> 52:24.535 I was in WH Smith's, other news agents are available, reading a magazine. 52:24.995 --> 52:28.297 I scratched my nose and then carried on turning the pages. 52:28.938 --> 52:32.940 She told me not to lick my fingers and turn pages due to health and safety. 52:33.560 --> 52:35.221 She, I assume, is someone who works there. 52:35.601 --> 52:40.322 I explained, but she insisted I was lying, and she said she saw me do it. 52:41.623 --> 52:47.525 I was furious, being ticked off for scratching your nose, then turning a page. 52:47.745 --> 52:50.366 Well, sometimes, I mean, you're not really supposed to read the mags, though, are you? 52:50.526 --> 52:55.788 Oh, well, you read those newspapers. 52:56.028 --> 52:57.048 Uncle Cornholes. 52:57.448 --> 52:59.249 Cornholes has gone bonkers. 53:00.389 --> 53:00.889 Where are we? 53:00.929 --> 53:01.490 What day is it? 53:01.930 --> 53:02.350 About right. 53:03.090 --> 53:04.371 No, those W.H. 53:04.391 --> 53:06.672 Smiths, they wouldn't have any business if you couldn't flick through the mags. 53:06.853 --> 53:07.313 Right, right. 53:07.593 --> 53:10.615 News agents generally, you've got to be able to flick through the mags, but it's a tricky area. 53:11.155 --> 53:15.218 And they often come and watch you while you're doing it to make sure you don't take the free frithby. 53:16.039 --> 53:18.700 A brief flick is absolutely fine. 53:18.740 --> 53:22.042 I mean, that's a good rule for life in general, but... A little piece of bogey comes out. 53:22.903 --> 53:23.583 Yeah, exactly. 53:23.663 --> 53:24.144 That's bad. 53:24.204 --> 53:25.465 Awesome spit or drool. 53:25.665 --> 53:25.965 Yes. 53:26.205 --> 53:27.606 Falls onto the picture of Jordan. 53:27.626 --> 53:27.886 Yes. 53:28.226 --> 53:29.007 Then that's no good. 53:29.727 --> 53:34.789 The free CDs on most of those magazines, like Mojo, they're held on with bogeys anyway, aren't they? 53:34.829 --> 53:36.409 That's true, yeah, industrial bogeys. 53:36.429 --> 53:37.349 Industrial bogeys. 53:37.730 --> 53:44.452 Anyway, keep those coming in, your run-ins with petty officialdom, 64046 is the text number that emails adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 53:45.802 --> 53:46.542 Good news, Joe. 53:46.982 --> 53:47.182 What? 53:47.362 --> 53:48.883 It's Monsters of Folk time. 53:49.483 --> 53:49.843 Wizard? 53:50.283 --> 53:51.244 Here's Say Please. 53:51.904 --> 53:52.964 Monsters of Folk. 53:53.224 --> 53:56.165 That is their new single, Say Please, which is out on Monday. 53:56.285 --> 54:01.046 Their debut album, Monsters of Folk, was released this week on Rough Trade. 54:01.066 --> 54:02.287 It's quite a good name, don't you think? 54:02.427 --> 54:03.567 Yeah, Monsters of Folk, certainly. 54:03.607 --> 54:04.827 There's a nice cover. 54:04.887 --> 54:06.148 One of them looks like Peter Sellers. 54:07.168 --> 54:10.149 Exactly like Peter Sellers with glasses and a little beard there. 54:10.169 --> 54:10.789 It's bizarre. 54:11.869 --> 54:15.450 You can catch them at Troxi in London on November the 17th. 54:16.030 --> 54:18.771 And the band consists of three, it's like a supergroup, right? 54:18.911 --> 54:21.212 Hence the name, most of the folk. 54:21.832 --> 54:23.933 Members from three separate bands, Bright Eyes. 54:24.073 --> 54:25.353 Oh, there you go, that's why it looks familiar. 54:25.373 --> 54:26.753 That's Connor Oberst. 54:26.773 --> 54:28.514 But there's four faces in the photo. 54:28.714 --> 54:30.554 My Morning Jacket and M Ward as well. 54:30.594 --> 54:31.575 What's going on there, James? 54:31.615 --> 54:33.975 The band consists of members from three separate bands. 54:34.055 --> 54:34.455 Oh, I see. 54:34.495 --> 54:35.856 Two of them are from one band. 54:35.876 --> 54:37.616 Two from My Morning Jacket, I think. 54:37.776 --> 54:39.437 And M Ward, I like M Ward very much. 54:40.137 --> 54:41.558 So there you go, that was good stuff, wasn't it? 54:42.178 --> 54:49.642 Now, oh my goodness, I just, I just threw my playlist over in a cavalier where it knocked over my butt, left water. 54:50.263 --> 54:51.644 Shall I lob it at the window now? 54:51.664 --> 54:53.485 No, don't lob it at the window, it's not that sort of show. 54:53.505 --> 54:53.905 Is that Yobish? 54:54.125 --> 54:56.566 That's Yobish, yes, place it in the recycling thing. 54:56.586 --> 54:57.607 I really want to lob it now. 54:57.627 --> 54:58.167 Give it to me. 54:58.427 --> 54:59.328 I'm going to lob it at the window. 54:59.488 --> 54:59.808 Why? 54:59.828 --> 55:00.889 I know, it's just for fun. 55:01.569 --> 55:02.310 Because I can. 55:03.830 --> 55:04.511 It's no good, is it? 55:04.531 --> 55:06.532 It's not good, it's not ripe for this program. 55:07.489 --> 55:08.851 You've ruined this program. 55:10.052 --> 55:10.733 You really have. 55:10.753 --> 55:12.535 They even got some water on the window there. 55:12.555 --> 55:14.017 What's wrong? 55:14.057 --> 55:14.818 What's the matter with you? 55:14.838 --> 55:15.119 I don't know. 55:15.139 --> 55:16.100 I'm out of control. 55:16.120 --> 55:17.462 I feel alive. 55:17.482 --> 55:21.066 I was on the tube this morning, right? 55:21.086 --> 55:21.747 This is unrelated. 55:22.208 --> 55:24.170 But what's your favorite? 55:24.190 --> 55:24.991 Tube announcement. 55:25.111 --> 55:25.572 Can you think? 55:27.927 --> 55:28.828 Think of any offhand. 55:29.628 --> 55:29.928 No. 55:30.308 --> 55:30.629 I like. 55:31.189 --> 55:36.992 Ladies and gentlemen, Blackfriars Station is closed for refurbishment until late 2011. 55:37.112 --> 55:36.992 11? 55:38.113 --> 55:39.614 I like the way they give you a date. 55:39.794 --> 55:40.034 Yeah. 55:40.054 --> 55:40.814 In case you want to wait. 55:41.095 --> 55:44.256 Yeah. 55:44.657 --> 55:45.017 I can wait. 55:45.077 --> 55:46.618 Well, it's useful for other reasons. 55:46.818 --> 55:47.118 All right. 55:47.418 --> 55:47.578 Late 2011. 55:47.878 --> 55:49.039 I'll just look at my watch. 55:49.399 --> 55:49.960 Yeah, I can wait. 55:51.060 --> 56:07.858 uh and the other one i heard was mob large station is closed all weekend this is due to planned engineering works it's okay it's planned it's all been planned this is turning into a sort of a um sort of civic moaning is it is it fair enough that's what you call the moaning show 56:09.439 --> 56:11.121 Like run-ins with petty officialdom. 56:11.301 --> 56:11.581 I know. 56:11.601 --> 56:12.622 I'm getting it all off my chest. 56:12.942 --> 56:13.482 It's good though. 56:13.623 --> 56:14.063 One weekend. 56:14.363 --> 56:15.704 I'm just going to have some melon. 56:15.724 --> 56:16.104 Do you mind? 56:16.285 --> 56:17.205 Go on, have your melon. 56:17.225 --> 56:18.186 You chat away. 56:18.206 --> 56:20.728 The thing is that normally I'm on my bike, right? 56:20.768 --> 56:21.869 So I avoid all these things. 56:21.889 --> 56:25.452 I don't come into contact with too many irritating aspects of modern life. 56:25.912 --> 56:28.514 But I haven't got my bike because of my arms or Mangaloid. 56:28.955 --> 56:31.196 So I've been going on the tube and stuff. 56:31.557 --> 56:33.418 Planned engineering works. 56:35.019 --> 56:41.704 What I'd like to hear is someone saying, uh, sorry we've closed the station due to some improvised engineering work. 56:43.886 --> 56:46.648 Probably closer to the truth, I would imagine. 56:49.530 --> 56:51.632 And finally, a bit of pop-o-priation. 56:52.492 --> 56:54.093 Which we haven't had for a very long time. 56:54.113 --> 56:54.633 No, that's true. 56:55.153 --> 56:57.634 Have we even got the jingle, James, just to pad this little bit out? 56:58.134 --> 56:58.454 No. 56:58.534 --> 56:58.995 No, we haven't. 56:59.015 --> 56:59.975 I didn't give you fair warning. 57:00.015 --> 57:00.515 That's fair enough. 57:01.255 --> 57:03.036 The next stop is Oxford Circus. 57:03.256 --> 57:05.057 Please remember to take your litter with you. 57:06.077 --> 57:09.479 When you hear that, do you not always sing a little bit of Crowded House? 57:10.139 --> 57:14.160 Everywhere you go, you always take your litter with you. 57:15.761 --> 57:16.721 That's good. 57:16.741 --> 57:17.361 Don't you get that? 57:18.342 --> 57:18.602 No. 57:19.022 --> 57:19.722 Finished your melon? 57:19.922 --> 57:20.103 Yes. 57:20.583 --> 57:21.243 Got a free play? 57:21.913 --> 57:22.514 I do, actually. 57:22.554 --> 57:23.394 This is Della Sol. 57:23.434 --> 57:28.617 It's from the bonus disc of the reissue of Three Feet High and Rising, so it's probably a B-side. 57:29.177 --> 57:30.378 But it's a little conversation. 57:30.538 --> 57:31.739 And when was that album, 89? 57:31.939 --> 57:33.220 Three Feet High and Rising, 89, yeah. 57:33.400 --> 57:40.564 Yeah, it's a conversation between a child and the members of Della Sol about the values of hip-hop. 57:40.724 --> 57:43.485 Yeah, so a little bit dated, but a curio. 57:44.506 --> 57:45.086 Delicious. 57:45.547 --> 57:45.947 Here it is. 57:46.267 --> 57:48.168 Rick James with Super Freak. 57:48.608 --> 57:51.030 I keep thinking that he's going to do the chorus a bit more, though, you know? 57:54.418 --> 57:56.259 He doesn't really do, he saves it up for the end. 57:56.379 --> 57:58.041 It's too sexy and overpowering. 57:58.661 --> 58:00.503 I like the way he sings. 58:00.523 --> 58:03.365 I think everyone should sing like that. 58:03.606 --> 58:05.327 I'm glad everyone doesn't sing like that. 58:07.429 --> 58:08.030 Shall we? 58:08.050 --> 58:08.730 What are we doing here? 58:08.850 --> 58:11.172 Oh yeah, we're going to talk about our competition listeners. 58:11.212 --> 58:11.773 If you were listening. 58:11.793 --> 58:12.513 Our non-petition. 58:13.194 --> 58:24.681 Yeah, if you were listening to the show last week, you might have heard us announce an extraordinarily exciting competition that climaxes at the Electric Proms that are happening here in London next month. 58:25.402 --> 58:33.287 And we announced last week a competition and the prize of which was for you to join us on stage at the Electric Proms. 58:33.347 --> 58:35.048 It's a kind of a karaoke thing. 58:35.208 --> 58:43.673 Basically, what we wanted you to do is send in little audition tapes of yourselves singing along to a couple of our Song Wars songs. 58:43.733 --> 58:52.258 We've uploaded instrumental versions of Joe's Quantum of Solace song and My Nutty Room song on our blog, and the lyrics are there and everything. 58:52.298 --> 58:55.200 So all you have to do is sing over the backing track 58:55.760 --> 59:01.809 video yourself doing it, send us a link to the site, and you could be in the running to join us at the Electric Crop. 59:01.829 --> 59:02.490 What could be simpler? 59:02.610 --> 59:03.431 What could be simpler? 59:03.451 --> 59:05.574 But listen to what happened, listeners. 59:05.594 --> 59:07.196 So we launched this last Saturday. 59:08.137 --> 59:11.001 Yesterday Adam and I got emails from our producer. 59:12.689 --> 59:13.669 Nothing, nothing ever. 59:13.689 --> 59:15.111 Not a single entry. 59:17.413 --> 59:26.901 Over the six days that have elapsed, not one person in the British Isles has decided to film themselves karaoke-ing, karaoke-ing our song wars and send it in. 59:27.201 --> 59:34.267 But before you think, well, that's no surprise, you two are a couple of idiot holes on what kind of idiot hole we are to your show anyway. 59:34.607 --> 59:38.471 We had a far more creative competition last year, was it? 59:39.111 --> 59:43.972 our Video Wars competition where listeners had to actually make a video for our Song Wars songs. 59:44.352 --> 59:49.113 And we got, well, hundreds would be a lie, but over a hundred entries for that. 59:49.313 --> 59:49.573 Yeah. 59:49.873 --> 59:53.094 So we know we do have very creative and inventive listeners. 59:53.514 --> 59:56.594 So we're trying to figure out what's gone wrong with this competition. 59:56.634 --> 59:57.494 What have we done wrong? 59:57.614 --> 01:00:03.695 Joe's theory was that maybe people that listen to this show and feel moved to get in touch with us are not sufficient. 01:00:03.715 --> 01:00:05.476 They're not like exhibitionists people. 01:00:06.396 --> 01:00:07.076 That came out wrong. 01:00:07.176 --> 01:00:11.159 Yeah, but they're not like X Factor type people, you know, they're not like song and dance mice. 01:00:11.219 --> 01:00:12.961 Yeah, I mean, I feel for them. 01:00:13.261 --> 01:00:15.423 I'm not a big fan of public performance either. 01:00:15.843 --> 01:00:23.509 I like being on the radio, you know, where I just imagine no one's listening, but the idea of getting up in front of an audience and performing. 01:00:23.709 --> 01:00:32.214 Yeah, terrifies me as well and I think maybe a lot of our listeners are artistic types who like to, you know, go back into their burrows and express themselves in other media. 01:00:32.334 --> 01:00:33.094 Yeah, yeah. 01:00:33.194 --> 01:00:34.395 Rather than bear themselves. 01:00:34.415 --> 01:00:35.276 That was problem number one. 01:00:35.336 --> 01:00:39.198 Snag number two, this event happens during the day on a weekday. 01:00:39.258 --> 01:00:40.599 Do you really think that would have put people off? 01:00:40.679 --> 01:00:48.143 Yeah, because if you're at school or if you have a job or you don't live in London, you cannot participate. 01:00:48.423 --> 01:00:48.743 I see. 01:00:48.783 --> 01:00:49.604 Were you to win. 01:00:49.624 --> 01:00:50.204 Yeah, yeah. 01:00:50.624 --> 01:00:53.186 So there's less motivation, right? 01:00:54.147 --> 01:00:59.591 So those two things combined, and is it complicated for people to video things and upload it to sites? 01:00:59.671 --> 01:00:59.831 No. 01:00:59.991 --> 01:01:00.992 No, it's very easy. 01:01:01.012 --> 01:01:02.053 So that's not the problem. 01:01:02.173 --> 01:01:02.313 No. 01:01:03.274 --> 01:01:07.377 So listeners, we're hoping that by telling you that nobody has entered. 01:01:07.597 --> 01:01:08.838 Five years ago, we would have lied. 01:01:09.219 --> 01:01:11.420 We would have made up some people. 01:01:11.460 --> 01:01:11.901 We would have said, 01:01:12.681 --> 01:01:13.822 The competition's going really well. 01:01:13.842 --> 01:01:15.644 We've had well over 60 of us. 01:01:15.724 --> 01:01:17.725 Very funny stuff coming in. 01:01:18.246 --> 01:01:21.048 So keep those entries coming in and we'll announce the winner. 01:01:21.288 --> 01:01:23.510 And then we would have faked up like one guy. 01:01:23.670 --> 01:01:25.152 We would have got a friend of ours to do it. 01:01:25.572 --> 01:01:28.594 And we would have said, the winner is Timmy Michaels. 01:01:28.654 --> 01:01:29.936 Congratulations, Timmy. 01:01:30.216 --> 01:01:30.556 Slipped him. 01:01:30.576 --> 01:01:31.557 Can't we still do that? 01:01:31.637 --> 01:01:32.358 Slipped him a fiver. 01:01:32.378 --> 01:01:33.959 Why can't we still do that? 01:01:34.339 --> 01:01:35.660 We would have faked up the whole thing. 01:01:35.840 --> 01:01:36.681 Taken some pictures. 01:01:36.801 --> 01:01:37.622 Wouldn't be a big problem. 01:01:38.058 --> 01:01:38.438 Not now. 01:01:38.498 --> 01:01:39.139 Can't do that anymore. 01:01:39.880 --> 01:01:40.721 We have to do it for real. 01:01:41.041 --> 01:01:41.441 Damn. 01:01:41.521 --> 01:01:44.244 So if you're not going to help us out, we're going to end up looking like Wollies. 01:01:44.945 --> 01:01:47.327 Well, we're going to end up looking like Wollies anyway. 01:01:47.347 --> 01:01:50.350 The whole thing's going to be a big explosion of walletism. 01:01:50.490 --> 01:01:51.711 Here's one thing, right? 01:01:51.791 --> 01:01:52.391 One incentive. 01:01:52.592 --> 01:01:53.212 Look at it this way. 01:01:54.233 --> 01:02:11.260 it's very it's at the moment very easy to win this conference yeah that's the thing it's an open goal no one else is even playing yeah so all you have to do is carry the ball over to the goal and set it down and you've scored you've scored you get to hang out with us uh in the whole afternoon we're gonna have this fun party at the electric proms 01:02:12.040 --> 01:02:13.921 Don't laugh like that! 01:02:14.001 --> 01:02:14.962 I'm looking forward to it. 01:02:15.002 --> 01:02:15.983 I'm looking forward to it as well. 01:02:16.003 --> 01:02:19.985 I'm just wondering how exciting that would be for people to hang out with us in a fun party. 01:02:20.205 --> 01:02:20.926 Nobody will be fun. 01:02:20.986 --> 01:02:22.587 Yeah, it's gonna be fun. 01:02:22.627 --> 01:02:24.688 I'm gonna try and cash in my neck to points. 01:02:24.848 --> 01:02:26.169 I don't know if that's... The points party. 01:02:26.249 --> 01:02:27.890 I think I'm gonna try and do the points party. 01:02:27.950 --> 01:02:29.511 I think there's a lot of interest in the event. 01:02:29.711 --> 01:02:38.137 There are people that want to turn up, to spectate, but in terms of people who actually want to perform a song or song, zero, nothing, nil. 01:02:39.077 --> 01:02:42.579 We're gonna do a little show Joe and myself are gonna sing some of our song songs. 01:02:42.659 --> 01:02:43.599 Yeah, I'm committing to that. 01:02:43.619 --> 01:02:48.621 All right I'm definitely gonna do that and you can back out but it's gonna be fun. 01:02:48.721 --> 01:02:49.601 So come on folks. 01:02:49.641 --> 01:02:50.222 Don't be shy. 01:02:50.242 --> 01:03:01.106 I'm probably gonna be away By you before yeah, so I'm probably gonna have just like land you can say the day before no I'll do I'll sing maybe dr. Sexy sing dr. Sexy. 01:03:01.126 --> 01:03:02.407 We'll bring some videos along. 01:03:02.447 --> 01:03:02.967 It'll be fun. 01:03:02.987 --> 01:03:03.467 We're gonna have a fun 01:03:03.527 --> 01:03:05.248 And don't be scared. 01:03:05.288 --> 01:03:06.729 If you're a shy listener, don't be scared. 01:03:06.749 --> 01:03:07.729 We'll be very supportive. 01:03:07.749 --> 01:03:08.670 We'll sing with you. 01:03:09.250 --> 01:03:12.032 We'll help you to the loo and up onto the stage. 01:03:12.052 --> 01:03:12.452 Exactly. 01:03:12.712 --> 01:03:14.973 We'll spoon-feed you baby food and stuff. 01:03:15.093 --> 01:03:21.177 So go to our blog right now, bbc.co.uk, slash blogs, slash Adam and Jo, and find out more. 01:03:21.277 --> 01:03:22.498 All the details are up there. 01:03:22.598 --> 01:03:24.178 Everything you need to get involved. 01:03:25.039 --> 01:03:25.639 Don't be shy. 01:03:25.679 --> 01:03:26.400 It's going to be fun. 01:03:27.080 --> 01:03:28.061 Music time right now. 01:03:28.101 --> 01:03:31.363 This is LCD sound system with Daft Punk is playing in my house. 01:03:31.603 --> 01:03:31.963 Was it? 01:03:32.183 --> 01:03:33.044 Go down. 01:03:33.384 --> 01:03:35.045 Go down. 01:03:35.465 --> 01:03:38.487 That's LCD sound system Daft Punk is playing at my house. 01:03:38.507 --> 01:03:40.729 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 01:03:41.249 --> 01:03:45.372 Joe, did you see the conclusion of Alone in the Wild on Channel 4? 01:03:45.472 --> 01:03:45.952 I didn't. 01:03:46.012 --> 01:03:46.993 I've seen none of it. 01:03:47.153 --> 01:03:50.655 And we were talking about this three weeks ago when the series kicked off. 01:03:50.815 --> 01:03:53.797 I was under the impression that it was going to be like a six-part series. 01:03:53.977 --> 01:03:56.077 I mean, that's how many parts was it three? 01:03:56.418 --> 01:04:05.519 Yeah, there's a lot of three parties is there the choir was three parts right the choir unsung town Uh-huh, which I've been enjoying but yeah, what's the deal? 01:04:05.539 --> 01:04:07.580 Do you think they they get halfway? 01:04:07.600 --> 01:04:10.020 Do you think they're shooting for a series but they haven't got enough stuff? 01:04:10.320 --> 01:04:16.041 They don't want to commit they don't want to commit six is a big commitment if it's a flop then they're stuck with it Do you know what? 01:04:16.061 --> 01:04:19.142 I mean that after they have to move it around the schedules just cowardliness 01:04:19.782 --> 01:04:20.522 Cowardliness. 01:04:20.743 --> 01:04:21.903 Yeah, I think so. 01:04:22.183 --> 01:04:27.226 I mean, I think the deal with Alone in the Wild, though, was surely... I mean, I might be totally wrong. 01:04:27.266 --> 01:04:35.270 I don't know about this, but surely they were shooting for a longer series, like a six-parter or something, hoping that they would get a lot out of this guy. 01:04:35.310 --> 01:04:36.771 And then he pressed the emergency button. 01:04:36.931 --> 01:04:37.471 Ed, yeah. 01:04:37.771 --> 01:04:41.373 But by program three, it was just wall-to-wall sobbing. 01:04:41.953 --> 01:04:48.177 I mean, I had a point to make anyway about the amount of crying from men on television, which is getting way out of hand. 01:04:48.617 --> 01:04:53.119 Did you see On Thin Ice, like before we went off for our break? 01:04:53.260 --> 01:04:57.162 Ben Vogel and James Cracknell, and the show was called On Thin Ice. 01:04:57.962 --> 01:04:58.202 Yes. 01:04:58.463 --> 01:04:59.724 Was Fogle himself crying? 01:05:00.124 --> 01:05:01.285 Yeah, everyone was crying. 01:05:01.305 --> 01:05:02.426 Fogle did a lot of crying. 01:05:02.586 --> 01:05:04.128 Well, Fogle does really push himself. 01:05:04.288 --> 01:05:06.069 He was seriously ill at one stage, wasn't he? 01:05:06.249 --> 01:05:07.751 He got frostbite on his nose. 01:05:07.871 --> 01:05:09.372 No, but he was properly seriously ill. 01:05:09.412 --> 01:05:12.655 He had some weird wasting virus or bug that he caught in the jungle. 01:05:12.675 --> 01:05:13.255 Yeah, do you remember? 01:05:13.836 --> 01:05:15.057 I think it was pretty serious. 01:05:15.177 --> 01:05:15.617 Oh, dear. 01:05:15.818 --> 01:05:17.339 So he's very vulnerable generally. 01:05:17.379 --> 01:05:17.699 He is. 01:05:17.739 --> 01:05:19.140 He shouldn't go out into the Arctic then. 01:05:19.961 --> 01:05:20.622 He loves it, though. 01:05:20.662 --> 01:05:22.143 He absolutely loves pushing himself. 01:05:22.383 --> 01:05:22.843 Or does he? 01:05:22.903 --> 01:05:24.505 Because he spends most of his time sobbing. 01:05:24.865 --> 01:05:26.626 Like, it doesn't take much to set him off. 01:05:27.207 --> 01:05:32.190 But on thin ice, Ben Fogel was very worried about, he got frostbite on his nose, right? 01:05:32.591 --> 01:05:34.092 I'm really worried about my nose. 01:05:34.292 --> 01:05:35.753 I can't stop thinking about my nose. 01:05:35.793 --> 01:05:38.415 I'm so worried about my nose. 01:05:38.955 --> 01:05:42.558 Cut to Fogel with massive bandage over his nose. 01:05:44.239 --> 01:05:49.361 And then, like, long shots of, uh, he would get upset because Kratnall was a bit of a bully. 01:05:49.421 --> 01:05:50.842 He would bully the other random guy. 01:05:50.902 --> 01:05:51.202 Kratnall. 01:05:51.262 --> 01:05:51.982 Sarah Kratnall. 01:05:52.562 --> 01:05:53.343 No, not Sarah. 01:05:53.503 --> 01:05:54.103 Uh, James. 01:05:54.423 --> 01:05:54.943 Uh... I don't know. 01:05:54.963 --> 01:05:55.644 Is he a rower? 01:05:55.844 --> 01:05:56.544 James Kratnall? 01:05:56.564 --> 01:05:57.024 Something like that. 01:05:57.044 --> 01:05:57.984 Some sports figure. 01:05:58.445 --> 01:05:59.245 They got him out there. 01:05:59.545 --> 01:06:09.036 And there's all these people going out into the wilderness, into the extremes, you know, generally men, young men in their 30s or 40s, and it's hard to tell why they're doing it. 01:06:09.076 --> 01:06:13.281 I think there was some charity connection with Vogel on thin ice. 01:06:13.541 --> 01:06:14.502 I'm not sure about that. 01:06:14.822 --> 01:06:19.047 There's absolutely no question of it being a charitable adventure or venture for a long while. 01:06:19.067 --> 01:06:20.349 Was this a Be The Water Castle production? 01:06:21.189 --> 01:06:23.230 On thin ice, I think, was a big British castle thing. 01:06:24.010 --> 01:06:25.490 Alone in the Wild was Channel 4. 01:06:26.431 --> 01:06:29.071 And there was no question about it being charity. 01:06:29.231 --> 01:06:32.492 It was just about this guy pushing himself, testing himself. 01:06:32.872 --> 01:06:33.613 Ed, he was called. 01:06:34.293 --> 01:06:37.774 And he went out there to British Columbia, I think. 01:06:38.334 --> 01:06:39.214 Crying's fun, though. 01:06:39.574 --> 01:06:40.674 It's good for men to cry. 01:06:40.754 --> 01:06:42.295 But he was crying non-stop. 01:06:43.235 --> 01:06:52.180 literally non-stop throughout the whole, literally by the third program, all they had left, presumably, to make this show was footage of the guy- When was the last time you cried? 01:06:54.341 --> 01:06:57.703 I was close to it last weekend when- With the elbow? 01:06:57.723 --> 01:06:58.964 With my elbow really hurting. 01:06:59.104 --> 01:07:00.685 But I didn't actually sob. 01:07:00.865 --> 01:07:05.627 I cry when I watch The Choir Unsung Town every week, like a little baby. 01:07:05.787 --> 01:07:06.047 Right. 01:07:06.147 --> 01:07:07.228 Because it's so moving. 01:07:07.528 --> 01:07:08.008 Yeah. 01:07:08.129 --> 01:07:10.690 The sound of like, do you ever see that, James, the producer? 01:07:10.930 --> 01:07:15.052 I wonder if any listeners watch that programme with Gareth, the hermaphrodite choirmaster. 01:07:16.232 --> 01:07:16.892 He's brilliant. 01:07:17.533 --> 01:07:19.673 And he's got this whole, what's it called South? 01:07:20.074 --> 01:07:20.514 Oxley. 01:07:20.654 --> 01:07:22.454 He's got this whole town doing a choir. 01:07:22.955 --> 01:07:26.876 And there's something terribly moving about different people from different walks of life. 01:07:26.916 --> 01:07:28.797 It's a bit like the retro-tex the nation jingle. 01:07:28.997 --> 01:07:29.417 Sure it is. 01:07:29.557 --> 01:07:31.318 Different people of different ages, children. 01:07:31.978 --> 01:07:36.681 Old people, black, white, yellow, all singing in a beautiful noise. 01:07:36.941 --> 01:07:37.901 Inspiring stuff. 01:07:38.041 --> 01:07:38.842 Really inspiring. 01:07:38.882 --> 01:07:39.702 You know what, I was close to tears. 01:07:39.722 --> 01:07:42.023 And it's a real weepy, they've got it, they've really nailed it. 01:07:42.163 --> 01:07:42.404 Yeah. 01:07:42.704 --> 01:07:51.688 I mean, it's not just, it's a sort of classy X factor in that everyone's got a story and then everything is, you know, the singing is hugely cathartic and everyone sobs. 01:07:51.728 --> 01:07:52.569 And it's finished now, is it? 01:07:52.809 --> 01:07:53.809 It just did the third one. 01:07:54.030 --> 01:07:58.632 Yeah, well, we watched it, recorded, so it was out on Tuesday nights, I think last week they did the last one. 01:07:59.233 --> 01:08:05.028 very powerful but I cry happily I love it do you my face really contorts I like trying to hold it in 01:08:06.868 --> 01:08:07.909 The bottom lip goes. 01:08:07.929 --> 01:08:08.889 Do your throat hurt? 01:08:09.029 --> 01:08:09.830 Spasm, yes. 01:08:10.150 --> 01:08:11.451 Very painful throat, yeah. 01:08:12.231 --> 01:08:14.672 But then I love it when it finally gushes out. 01:08:14.993 --> 01:08:16.313 Wow, you let it gush out. 01:08:16.413 --> 01:08:16.754 I do. 01:08:16.774 --> 01:08:19.275 Do you make sounds? 01:08:20.416 --> 01:08:24.798 No, because I'm usually sitting behind my girlfriend and I don't want her to know. 01:08:24.998 --> 01:08:25.698 Oh, sure you don't. 01:08:25.858 --> 01:08:28.420 Because she's on the floor, I'm on the sofa, I don't want her to know. 01:08:28.900 --> 01:08:29.781 That was quite good, wasn't it? 01:08:32.643 --> 01:08:33.303 Stupid programme. 01:08:33.343 --> 01:08:33.984 Stupid programme. 01:08:34.004 --> 01:08:36.305 A very sloppy programme. 01:08:36.325 --> 01:08:37.526 Do you want a biscuit? 01:08:38.226 --> 01:08:39.127 Oh God! 01:08:40.188 --> 01:08:40.948 Oh Gareth! 01:08:42.229 --> 01:08:44.631 I don't know what gender you are but I love you! 01:08:46.141 --> 01:08:47.582 I think he's LaRue's sister. 01:08:47.802 --> 01:08:49.262 Do you cover your face when you cry? 01:08:50.863 --> 01:08:51.843 Not unless she looks. 01:08:54.424 --> 01:08:56.405 Ed Wardle was not covering his face at all. 01:08:56.585 --> 01:09:01.147 And when he was alone in the wild, he was in the Canadian wilderness there and everything was setting him off. 01:09:01.587 --> 01:09:03.988 I mean, he was physically at the end of his tether, right? 01:09:04.008 --> 01:09:05.029 He'd been out there for 50 days. 01:09:05.069 --> 01:09:05.929 He was very hungry. 01:09:05.949 --> 01:09:06.769 He's malnourished. 01:09:07.109 --> 01:09:11.051 So I'm not saying he had nothing to cry about, even though he was out there for no good reason. 01:09:12.496 --> 01:09:17.800 But he was absolutely sobbing and then he got like, he got letters, that thing they do on, I'm a celebrity. 01:09:17.820 --> 01:09:18.961 They always do that, yes. 01:09:19.482 --> 01:09:20.462 Letters from your family. 01:09:20.482 --> 01:09:21.043 Had some letters. 01:09:21.063 --> 01:09:25.627 They do that on, sorry to keep steamrolling, they do that on that Channel 4 thing. 01:09:25.727 --> 01:09:26.287 Shipwrecked. 01:09:26.547 --> 01:09:27.728 That sets them off every time. 01:09:27.748 --> 01:09:29.690 Really does, they have to hand them to a friend to read. 01:09:29.730 --> 01:09:30.691 Picture of the girlfriend. 01:09:30.911 --> 01:09:37.513 And then he goes at the end, they'd slipped a picture in that he didn't expect, picture it like a picture of himself as a little boy with his mum. 01:09:58.422 --> 01:10:03.643 Sometimes on shipwrecked, the person's only got to the island the day before when the letter comes. 01:10:04.503 --> 01:10:06.384 And they still break down. 01:10:06.464 --> 01:10:06.704 Yeah. 01:10:07.164 --> 01:10:09.904 I mean, letters from mummy are very powerful anyway. 01:10:10.024 --> 01:10:10.304 Sure. 01:10:10.564 --> 01:10:12.305 Handwritten letters from mummy and daddy. 01:10:12.485 --> 01:10:13.625 But he couldn't stop crying. 01:10:13.665 --> 01:10:19.286 And then eventually when he pressed the emergency button and they airlifted him out of there, he called time on the whole project. 01:10:19.346 --> 01:10:23.507 And then cut to him filming himself in this little hotel room crying. 01:10:24.227 --> 01:10:28.049 Crying out at- I'm sat at a hotel and- Do you think we could do that, Sam? 01:10:28.109 --> 01:10:29.330 Look at that chair! 01:10:29.350 --> 01:10:30.910 That's just pointless, isn't it? 01:10:30.970 --> 01:10:31.631 I'm telling. 01:10:32.511 --> 01:10:34.312 I'm eating a chocolate bar. 01:10:34.652 --> 01:10:37.514 I'm just coming from the most beautiful place in the world. 01:10:38.994 --> 01:10:39.855 What's that point? 01:10:39.935 --> 01:10:40.575 I'm at home. 01:10:41.716 --> 01:10:41.996 Sobby. 01:10:43.095 --> 01:10:43.876 I like the sound of it. 01:10:43.896 --> 01:10:45.257 I think it sounds wickles. 01:10:45.598 --> 01:10:47.099 I'm going to do a version of it, I think. 01:10:47.760 --> 01:10:53.605 I want to think of whose mother we can get in touch and get her to write an emotional letter and then surprise them with it. 01:10:53.685 --> 01:10:59.270 Someone you'd never expect to cry, like some hard as nails newsreader or somebody. 01:10:59.290 --> 01:11:01.032 You could just slip them the letter. 01:11:01.272 --> 01:11:02.734 Philip Sturtin. 01:11:03.314 --> 01:11:04.055 Edward Sturtin. 01:11:04.115 --> 01:11:07.338 There's something to think about anyway. 01:11:07.478 --> 01:11:08.759 Flaming Lips time. 01:11:08.939 --> 01:11:10.060 It's this weird song. 01:11:10.681 --> 01:11:11.021 Do you like it? 01:11:11.041 --> 01:11:12.202 Can you remember this one from last week? 01:11:12.242 --> 01:11:13.323 Yeah, I quite enjoyed this. 01:11:13.343 --> 01:11:13.884 I quite enjoyed it. 01:11:13.944 --> 01:11:14.184 Love it. 01:11:14.204 --> 01:11:14.964 Absolutely love it. 01:11:15.004 --> 01:11:16.626 Silver Trembling Hands, it's called. 01:11:16.846 --> 01:11:18.307 It's good, isn't it, basically. 01:11:18.567 --> 01:11:21.790 That's Silver Trembling Hands with the Flaming Lips. 01:11:21.950 --> 01:11:25.133 They've made an effort to make it sound different and they should be applauded. 01:11:25.153 --> 01:11:26.074 They should be applauded. 01:11:26.114 --> 01:11:27.135 I'm going to applaud them right now. 01:11:29.347 --> 01:11:35.533 That's out on the 12th of October, taken from their latest album, Embryonic, which is released in the same week. 01:11:35.733 --> 01:11:39.356 They're touring the UK from the 10th to the 17th of November, incidentally. 01:11:40.257 --> 01:11:46.643 And the video, fun fact, for I Can Be a Frog, their follow-up single, is available to watch online now! 01:11:47.023 --> 01:11:50.847 And it features Carano from the Ye Ye Years on backing vocals. 01:11:50.907 --> 01:11:51.307 Cool. 01:11:51.508 --> 01:11:53.770 Let's have some text-the-nation fun. 01:11:59.368 --> 01:12:08.550 And it's all about run-ins with petty officialdom. 01:12:08.670 --> 01:12:16.532 This week, here's a text we had from Carl with an E. How would you say that, Carl with an E? 01:12:16.972 --> 01:12:22.753 When at school, aged 15, the police saw me cycle on the pavement going home for lunch. 01:12:23.293 --> 01:12:24.214 They flashed their lights. 01:12:24.614 --> 01:12:25.214 I ignored them. 01:12:25.914 --> 01:12:29.996 on the return journey, I was doing the same when the same police car went past. 01:12:30.617 --> 01:12:34.279 Rather than immediately stop, they continued past and into school. 01:12:35.319 --> 01:12:36.440 They were chasing him at this point. 01:12:36.480 --> 01:12:40.302 They drove over four pitches to cut me off at the pass. 01:12:40.462 --> 01:12:45.125 I dumped my bike and they chased me into school and read me the riot act. 01:12:45.425 --> 01:12:51.909 all a bit over the top considering said path is now a cycle path after the road was deemed too dangerous to cycle on. 01:12:52.209 --> 01:12:58.293 I was a hero for a day and actually was clapped by 1500 school children who had chased the car through the school. 01:12:59.634 --> 01:13:06.058 Observations on how dangerous the police car was at 30 miles an hour in the middle of the school fell on deaf ears. 01:13:07.098 --> 01:13:10.000 That's like a scene from a Spielberg film or something. 01:13:10.020 --> 01:13:10.760 That's insane, isn't it? 01:13:10.880 --> 01:13:11.840 That's fantastic. 01:13:11.880 --> 01:13:13.021 Carly is a dude. 01:13:14.122 --> 01:13:16.283 Here's one from Mr. Kidney in Glasgow. 01:13:16.523 --> 01:13:17.903 Is he a mega-dude, do you think? 01:13:18.424 --> 01:13:21.725 Well, no, he would have said if he was a mega-dude. 01:13:21.785 --> 01:13:22.926 Maybe he's just modest. 01:13:23.286 --> 01:13:24.206 I bet he's a mega-dude. 01:13:24.567 --> 01:13:31.290 I was given a £50 fine by the litter enforcers in Glasgow when my three-year-old son dropped some crisps on the pavement. 01:13:31.830 --> 01:13:36.951 By the time they'd finished writing the fine and given me a lecture on parenting, some pigeons had eaten the crisps. 01:13:37.171 --> 01:13:39.152 Well, the actual crisps, not the packet. 01:13:39.172 --> 01:13:40.772 Yeah, that's what Mr Kidney is saying. 01:13:40.792 --> 01:13:43.673 Where are these people the enforcers wear when you need them? 01:13:43.693 --> 01:13:44.433 They're just terribly bored. 01:13:44.653 --> 01:13:49.094 You know when people are like brazenly throwing packets on the ground and stuff like that? 01:13:49.374 --> 01:13:51.075 They don't go up to those people, do they? 01:13:51.575 --> 01:13:53.675 Just target the people who aren't really doing anything. 01:13:54.415 --> 01:13:56.276 It's broken Britain. 01:13:57.176 --> 01:13:58.097 Here's one from Karen. 01:13:58.477 --> 01:13:59.197 Hi Adam and Joe. 01:13:59.337 --> 01:14:01.999 I was in a zoo in Mexico City looking at a giraffe. 01:14:02.399 --> 01:14:05.361 The security guard said I wasn't allowed to view it from that position. 01:14:06.141 --> 01:14:08.202 I had to move two meters to the right. 01:14:09.043 --> 01:14:12.665 I replied that it wasn't difficult to see the animal from whichever position. 01:14:12.705 --> 01:14:13.645 He wasn't impressed. 01:14:14.266 --> 01:14:14.606 Wow. 01:14:15.046 --> 01:14:17.227 That's high levels of official officiousness isn't it? 01:14:17.267 --> 01:14:18.288 I'll tell you what it is John. 01:14:18.428 --> 01:14:20.229 I'll tell you exactly what it is. 01:14:20.249 --> 01:14:20.849 PC gone mad. 01:14:20.869 --> 01:14:21.710 Is PC gone completely mad? 01:14:28.404 --> 01:14:34.087 I'm a photographer and come up against petty officialdom a lot more these days, the moment I take out a camera on the street. 01:14:34.407 --> 01:14:37.229 The worst was in Paternoster Square near St Paul's Cathedral. 01:14:37.629 --> 01:14:38.750 Other squares are available. 01:14:39.330 --> 01:14:45.736 I was photographing a businessman for a business magazine and decided to take a couple of shots of him walking towards the camera from about 10 metres back. 01:14:46.316 --> 01:14:48.859 The man had a few minutes left before having to leave. 01:14:49.239 --> 01:14:56.605 I have a camera on a tripod and a bloke in a private security guard get up, complete with bright yellow jacket and walkie talkie stands in front of my camera. 01:14:56.946 --> 01:14:59.368 He said I could be doing hostile reconnaissance. 01:14:59.868 --> 01:15:00.829 And it won't move. 01:15:01.169 --> 01:15:02.290 Now, this is a big deal, right? 01:15:02.310 --> 01:15:09.954 Because lots of professional photographers have signed a petition saying that police in general are abusing anti-terrorism laws. 01:15:10.034 --> 01:15:10.474 Exactly. 01:15:10.674 --> 01:15:13.676 And it's actually a big deal amongst the photographic community. 01:15:13.716 --> 01:15:21.561 Technically, you're not allowed because generally the pavement is owned by the council and they're allowed to refuse you the right to take photographs. 01:15:21.581 --> 01:15:22.321 But that's ridiculous, isn't it? 01:15:22.341 --> 01:15:29.265 And that's the kind of thing that the entire country should take up pickaxes and flaming brands and just kick out whoever tries to do that. 01:15:29.545 --> 01:15:32.207 Joe Brands, they should pick them all up and sort them out. 01:15:32.227 --> 01:15:33.807 Definitely. 01:15:33.847 --> 01:15:34.988 There's another good one here. 01:15:35.508 --> 01:15:39.731 I was in Morrison's buying a Gabby Logan workout DVD, £2 bargain basement. 01:15:40.231 --> 01:15:56.900 I got to the checkout and the cashier dude noticed, just a dude by the way, noticed there was no age certificate on the DVD and started rambling that he should really ID me for the item but maybe I wasn't the age you should be, maybe they shouldn't be selling the item at all. 01:15:57.000 --> 01:15:58.021 Saucy Gabby Logan. 01:15:58.701 --> 01:16:02.843 I explained that it was a workout DVD, not hardcore Gabby Logan porn. 01:16:02.903 --> 01:16:03.323 You never know. 01:16:03.823 --> 01:16:05.224 I like reading that phrase. 01:16:05.584 --> 01:16:08.605 He then proceeded to discuss the issue with every single worker at the store. 01:16:08.685 --> 01:16:10.266 I left, I'm 26, Claire in Oxford. 01:16:10.326 --> 01:16:11.066 Oh for goodness sake. 01:16:11.346 --> 01:16:12.847 That's ridiculous, isn't it? 01:16:12.867 --> 01:16:14.927 That's unbelievable. 01:16:15.187 --> 01:16:17.428 I would have gone absolutely ballistic at that point. 01:16:17.448 --> 01:16:18.469 Can I read you one more? 01:16:18.489 --> 01:16:18.809 Come on then. 01:16:18.949 --> 01:16:19.549 Final one. 01:16:20.069 --> 01:16:20.990 This is from Ben. 01:16:22.188 --> 01:16:23.749 I was outside Leeds train station. 01:16:23.769 --> 01:16:27.710 Me and my girlfriend were arguing not loudly in the station. 01:16:27.770 --> 01:16:28.810 I'm not sure what it was about. 01:16:28.930 --> 01:16:31.711 All of a sudden a community support officer walks over, demands my ID. 01:16:32.011 --> 01:16:34.952 I refused and asked him what right he had to interrupt my conversation. 01:16:35.173 --> 01:16:37.553 He looked shocked, then asked me to remain where I was. 01:16:37.613 --> 01:16:39.954 I replied, you're going to go and get a real policeman, mate. 01:16:40.394 --> 01:16:41.835 You're arresting me or detaining me. 01:16:42.175 --> 01:16:43.795 He said back that he was detaining me. 01:16:44.096 --> 01:16:45.836 However, I knew he had no right to. 01:16:48.377 --> 01:16:52.279 I decided to try my luck and run for it. 01:16:52.299 --> 01:16:53.140 With his girlfriend? 01:16:53.600 --> 01:16:54.260 No, wait for it. 01:16:54.660 --> 01:16:55.201 He chased. 01:16:55.581 --> 01:17:00.744 I dived down the steps that led to the multi-storey car park, ran under the railway bridge and dived into the nearest pub. 01:17:01.224 --> 01:17:08.608 I sat there with a pint of Tetley's while I watched the community support officer continually pacing round the surrounding area trying to find me. 01:17:08.948 --> 01:17:13.090 My girlfriend was even more angry as she was detained and questioned by the police. 01:17:13.631 --> 01:17:15.652 However, she didn't give my identity away. 01:17:16.232 --> 01:17:18.295 In retrospect, I was a bit out of order. 01:17:18.615 --> 01:17:20.438 That is a disastrous afternoon. 01:17:20.458 --> 01:17:21.580 How are you going to get over that? 01:17:21.620 --> 01:17:24.323 That's going to take a lot of- I like that they're dumping the girlfriend in it. 01:17:24.644 --> 01:17:30.833 There's a certain amount of courage running away from the community police officer to get a pint whilst he gets arrested. 01:17:31.934 --> 01:17:33.495 Because he's got to face it when he gets home. 01:17:33.535 --> 01:17:36.477 I mean, that's braver than dealing with the officer. 01:17:36.657 --> 01:17:37.337 Yeah, I guess. 01:17:37.837 --> 01:17:38.238 These are good. 01:17:38.298 --> 01:17:39.278 Thanks very much, listeners. 01:17:39.639 --> 01:17:40.859 Here's a free play for you right now. 01:17:40.919 --> 01:17:48.264 This is one of those songs, and it's by the Pogues, that I believe is a guaranteed floor filler in whatever situation you happen to find yourself in. 01:17:48.724 --> 01:17:52.206 Even if it was like, it wouldn't matter what age the people on the dance floor were, 01:17:52.846 --> 01:17:55.068 They would have to get with this song at some point. 01:17:55.168 --> 01:17:59.710 It just does it will Smith with getting jiggy with it Will Smith with the pokes version. 01:17:59.810 --> 01:18:06.935 No, it's not although that is one of those songs getting jiggy with it is one of those songs Don't stop till you get enough by Michael Jackson is one of those songs. 01:18:07.235 --> 01:18:12.918 This is the pokes with Sally MacLennan Happy memories from when I was a cop in Baltimore. 01:18:13.198 --> 01:18:21.103 We used to listen to that at the end of a long day me and the guys when we've been busting heads When we finished doing that 01:18:21.743 --> 01:18:22.844 What's that a reference to? 01:18:26.046 --> 01:18:29.028 I'm thinking of that Scorsese film with Leonardo DiCaprio. 01:18:29.108 --> 01:18:30.269 It's the kind of thing that all cops do. 01:18:30.289 --> 01:18:31.230 They do it a bit in The Wire. 01:18:31.250 --> 01:18:32.731 They listen to the Pogues in The Wire. 01:18:33.071 --> 01:18:33.831 Irish-American. 01:18:33.931 --> 01:18:34.892 Yeah, that kind of thing. 01:18:34.952 --> 01:18:35.352 Copage. 01:18:35.453 --> 01:18:36.053 Cops love it. 01:18:36.593 --> 01:18:37.154 Absolutely love it. 01:18:37.414 --> 01:18:39.855 But that is an absolute smash of a song, though, isn't it? 01:18:41.777 --> 01:18:43.938 And we just played it here on BBC Six Music. 01:18:44.098 --> 01:18:44.959 This is Adam and Joe. 01:18:45.759 --> 01:18:47.160 And Joe, I'm handing over to you for this date. 01:18:47.180 --> 01:18:47.461 Are you? 01:18:47.961 --> 01:18:49.322 Well, okay, okay, okay. 01:18:49.722 --> 01:18:51.843 Look, I've been watching a lot of telly recently, right? 01:18:52.484 --> 01:18:58.287 And do you ever find people saying cliched things that you wish would happen literally? 01:18:59.228 --> 01:19:07.073 Like in makeover shows, there was a makeover show I was watching this week and they keep saying places have got the wow factor. 01:19:07.353 --> 01:19:09.055 They go on and on about the wow factor. 01:19:09.435 --> 01:19:16.822 But the other thing they say is this woman led a potential homeowner into a room and she said, it's got potential written all over it. 01:19:18.143 --> 01:19:24.009 And I wished for a moment that they went into the room and the word potential was scrawled in blood 01:19:24.671 --> 01:19:26.352 all over the walls of the room. 01:19:26.372 --> 01:19:29.953 Do you know what I mean when you wish that something would happen literally? 01:19:30.033 --> 01:19:30.213 Yeah. 01:19:30.634 --> 01:19:32.735 There was also, there was another example of that. 01:19:32.755 --> 01:19:34.095 Why does it have to be squalled in blood? 01:19:34.275 --> 01:19:41.238 Well because it's, you know, it's a play on the word potential and the type of madness that would lead someone to actually write the word potential in blood. 01:19:41.638 --> 01:19:44.259 You know that potential's been squandered in some horrible way. 01:19:45.060 --> 01:19:49.802 So much so that they've done a killing and then written it in and that's what's happened in the house. 01:19:50.602 --> 01:20:12.710 Do you know what I'm getting at sure sure sure you know it just evokes a lot of dementedness Mm-hmm dementia the other one is there was a famous review of Imelda Staunton's performance in the film Vera Drake that said Imelda Staunton's performance literally screams Oscar Remember that one yeah, I just wish that would happen literally as well 01:20:14.250 --> 01:20:15.351 the film. 01:20:31.660 --> 01:20:37.183 You know, that was a fairly literal translation of that feeling you get when you hear the name of the film in the film. 01:20:37.803 --> 01:20:39.264 And when someone sort of says it, yeah. 01:20:39.724 --> 01:20:40.884 That's all I've got, to be honest. 01:20:41.205 --> 01:20:41.465 Is it? 01:20:41.545 --> 01:20:42.405 That's all I've got. 01:20:42.825 --> 01:20:44.266 I just wrote those two things down. 01:20:44.386 --> 01:20:46.427 I was trying to help you by talking about protocol. 01:20:46.447 --> 01:20:50.489 You were doing well, but it was sort of straying out of the area of the subject. 01:20:50.509 --> 01:20:51.809 Well, what was it straying with being literal? 01:20:51.829 --> 01:20:55.271 Well, I don't really know what links those two things that I said. 01:20:55.291 --> 01:20:57.352 When Goldie Horn says protocol and the little bell goes off. 01:20:57.552 --> 01:21:00.913 I think it's when someone says something stupid that you wish would actually happen. 01:21:00.953 --> 01:21:03.955 What about this, Joe? 01:21:04.295 --> 01:21:04.475 What? 01:21:04.495 --> 01:21:06.516 Well, you started off talking about the wow fact. 01:21:06.536 --> 01:21:07.056 What was that? 01:21:07.136 --> 01:21:07.816 I don't know. 01:21:07.896 --> 01:21:09.817 I was just trying to get myself relaxed. 01:21:10.137 --> 01:21:11.218 How about the word juj? 01:21:11.918 --> 01:21:13.198 This has got the wow factor. 01:21:13.218 --> 01:21:14.479 The word juj, what do you mean? 01:21:14.819 --> 01:21:14.879 Juj. 01:21:14.899 --> 01:21:16.380 I mean, when people say the word juj. 01:21:16.860 --> 01:21:17.800 Oh, juj, something up. 01:21:17.880 --> 01:21:18.120 Yeah. 01:21:18.581 --> 01:21:19.301 On those makeovers. 01:21:19.321 --> 01:21:20.461 This needs to be juj'd up. 01:21:20.641 --> 01:21:21.942 Yeah, like a pile of juj. 01:21:22.614 --> 01:21:24.176 Is that, can you have a pile of jej? 01:21:24.196 --> 01:21:25.177 Well this is what I'm saying! 01:21:25.197 --> 01:21:26.760 Well is jej an action or is it a thing? 01:21:26.780 --> 01:21:27.561 That's what I'm talking about. 01:21:27.581 --> 01:21:28.342 That's what you're saying. 01:21:28.422 --> 01:21:29.303 Isn't it a new drink? 01:21:30.865 --> 01:21:31.666 Could be a new drink. 01:21:31.686 --> 01:21:31.786 Jej. 01:21:32.387 --> 01:21:33.368 It should be really, shouldn't it? 01:21:33.448 --> 01:21:34.009 Or a band. 01:21:34.149 --> 01:21:35.892 A pile of je- a bag of jej. 01:21:35.932 --> 01:21:37.033 Where does jej come from? 01:21:37.313 --> 01:21:38.735 I think it comes from people's bottoms. 01:21:40.297 --> 01:21:41.198 This is Adam and Jo. 01:21:41.418 --> 01:21:42.238 More than one person. 01:21:42.479 --> 01:21:44.140 Yeah, a number of people, they collect it. 01:21:45.160 --> 01:21:46.441 It's 11.30, it's time for the news. 01:21:46.641 --> 01:21:47.882 What a fantastic sound. 01:21:48.502 --> 01:21:54.266 Teenage Fanclub with Sparky's Dream was released in 1995, taken from their album Grand Prix. 01:21:54.326 --> 01:21:56.427 Sparky's Dream got to number 40 in the UK charts. 01:21:56.968 --> 01:21:57.328 Smooth. 01:21:57.528 --> 01:21:59.209 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC 6 Music. 01:21:59.489 --> 01:22:01.291 Let's have the made up jokes, Jingle James. 01:22:02.231 --> 01:22:19.112 I'm a funny person, I often make up jokes My jokes are more amusing than those of other folks When you hear my joke I think you'll find that you agree Come on, you're all invited to a made up joke party 01:22:20.013 --> 01:22:24.818 If you're a new listener to the show, this is an irregular section. 01:22:25.078 --> 01:22:32.384 Irregular because it's kind of difficult, you know, to listen to and to read out a section of jokes sent in by our listeners. 01:22:32.424 --> 01:22:35.487 And we kind of demand that they're made up, they're actually authored. 01:22:35.767 --> 01:22:39.811 And it's very difficult actually to tell or test whether a joke is genuinely authored. 01:22:39.831 --> 01:22:41.813 For instance, one of our favourite ones 01:22:42.653 --> 01:22:45.935 Uh, my dog Minton ate a shuttlecock. 01:22:46.355 --> 01:22:47.135 Bad Minton. 01:22:47.535 --> 01:22:48.916 Is apparently a Tim Vine joke. 01:22:49.336 --> 01:22:49.816 No. 01:22:49.937 --> 01:22:51.517 Somebody sent in an email saying that. 01:22:51.577 --> 01:22:57.160 You know, we were really enjoying that joke for weeks on end thinking it was the top of the tips and it had been made up by a brilliant listener. 01:22:57.660 --> 01:22:59.221 It turns out it's a Tim Vine joke. 01:22:59.361 --> 01:23:00.582 He's a joke machine, that guy. 01:23:00.722 --> 01:23:05.805 So it's hard, you know, there's only a limited amount of wordplay and there's lots of people to make it. 01:23:05.825 --> 01:23:07.886 Chestnuts, boasting in an open fire. 01:23:07.906 --> 01:23:09.066 There was that whole incident. 01:23:09.407 --> 01:23:13.609 The one joke we've had that we think is genuinely authored was the Anilinox. 01:23:14.069 --> 01:23:14.329 Yeah. 01:23:14.489 --> 01:23:14.629 One. 01:23:14.910 --> 01:23:15.310 Anilinox. 01:23:15.330 --> 01:23:17.191 You know what we're talking about if you're a regular listener. 01:23:17.391 --> 01:23:21.853 I don't think anyone else had made that one up because it was just so tortured and convoluted. 01:23:21.873 --> 01:23:23.354 So that's kind of what we're looking for. 01:23:23.414 --> 01:23:24.215 Jokes that are so 01:23:24.875 --> 01:23:28.757 peculiar and tortured, they could only ever have been authored by the listener. 01:23:28.857 --> 01:23:36.101 I still like some of the simpler ones and what I've done is I've just entered the joke into a search engine, right, to see how many hits pop up. 01:23:36.401 --> 01:23:38.962 And so these ones I've tested that way and they haven't popped up. 01:23:38.982 --> 01:23:39.102 Really? 01:23:39.122 --> 01:23:39.702 That's a good test. 01:23:40.303 --> 01:23:41.523 Like I'll give you an example, right? 01:23:41.543 --> 01:23:46.586 Here's a simple joke that made me chuckle that I couldn't find any reference for on Google. 01:23:47.106 --> 01:23:48.347 This is from James Hewitt. 01:23:48.887 --> 01:23:50.348 I think he's a regular contributor. 01:23:51.831 --> 01:23:55.060 How much do they pay to play sport at Hogwarts? 01:23:56.835 --> 01:24:23.952 now yeah yeah yeah yeah well yeah do you want me to say go on then uh a quidditch correct it's a quidditch it's good it's good it's good it's good but i just can't help thinking that would have been made up on the set of harry potter that's one that's why i don't care if it was made up on the set but it's a question of whether it's proliferated right and so i've put it but is it then is it a made up joke i put it into google he i believe that james made it up he made it up yeah 01:24:24.946 --> 01:24:27.149 It was just, yeah, okay, cool, cool, good, good, good. 01:24:27.269 --> 01:24:28.670 I'm not peddling good. 01:24:30.072 --> 01:24:30.533 What have you got? 01:24:30.793 --> 01:24:35.058 I've got, this is somebody called Katie Rogers from London. 01:24:35.118 --> 01:24:38.222 Here are a few jokes my boyfriend Tarek has made up recently. 01:24:38.522 --> 01:24:42.947 He's immensely proud of them and I've promised to try and be more supportive of his creations. 01:24:43.348 --> 01:24:44.609 I'm only going to read one of them out. 01:24:45.370 --> 01:24:46.511 the other one's too awful. 01:24:46.872 --> 01:24:51.176 It often happens that couples submit jokes on behalf of the other member of the couple. 01:24:51.236 --> 01:24:54.399 Yeah, we're doing a sort of marriage support service we're doing here. 01:24:54.719 --> 01:24:59.824 What do mozzies eat for breakfast at Harrison Ford's house? 01:25:00.965 --> 01:25:02.306 The mosquito toast. 01:25:03.107 --> 01:25:03.488 Nice. 01:25:03.808 --> 01:25:05.770 You see, now that's probably made up, isn't it? 01:25:05.830 --> 01:25:06.070 Yeah. 01:25:06.090 --> 01:25:06.951 Because it's a bit 01:25:07.191 --> 01:25:08.192 Because it's a little lame. 01:25:08.232 --> 01:25:09.112 It's a little bit lame. 01:25:09.172 --> 01:25:11.574 But in a very sweet way, like a little lame boy. 01:25:11.614 --> 01:25:13.755 It's a reference to a sort of good obscure film. 01:25:14.515 --> 01:25:15.416 It's not that obscure. 01:25:16.076 --> 01:25:18.838 Here's one from James Wright in Cheltenham. 01:25:19.538 --> 01:25:23.881 He says, I came up with this whilst buying some bike bits for my girlfriend. 01:25:24.101 --> 01:25:24.721 Here we go. 01:25:25.482 --> 01:25:27.062 What do you call a cycling rapper? 01:25:28.663 --> 01:25:29.444 Panier West. 01:25:30.314 --> 01:25:35.036 Oh, you know, that is what you call the cycling rappers. 01:25:35.156 --> 01:25:36.457 Technically, that is what you call that. 01:25:36.617 --> 01:25:39.778 He says, come on, read this out, make a long-standing fan happy. 01:25:40.158 --> 01:25:41.119 Job done, James. 01:25:41.439 --> 01:25:41.779 Thanks. 01:25:42.419 --> 01:25:42.979 Hi, Adam and Joe. 01:25:43.039 --> 01:25:48.762 I made up this joke over the summer, but have been reluctant to send it in, as it hasn't received any laughs as yet. 01:25:49.062 --> 01:25:49.803 That's my favourite. 01:25:49.943 --> 01:25:51.224 Anyway, here goes. 01:25:51.845 --> 01:25:58.012 Did you hear about the recent competition where you could phone in to win clothing for large predator cats? 01:25:58.552 --> 01:26:00.574 The competition has ended now though. 01:26:01.035 --> 01:26:07.101 When you try calling the number, all you get is an automated message saying the lions are now clothed. 01:26:09.298 --> 01:26:10.399 Josh from Reigate. 01:26:10.719 --> 01:26:11.860 That's very good. 01:26:12.120 --> 01:26:12.460 P.S. 01:26:12.500 --> 01:26:16.783 Just in case it's not clear, which is highly likely, the lions are now clothed. 01:26:17.123 --> 01:26:20.045 It's meant to sound like the lions are now closed. 01:26:20.465 --> 01:26:22.186 Please put that in as a P.S. 01:26:22.726 --> 01:26:23.607 I like the explanation. 01:26:23.627 --> 01:26:24.127 That's brilliant. 01:26:24.427 --> 01:26:25.008 Here's one. 01:26:25.208 --> 01:26:28.710 And this is a very, I mean, this is a slick joke, but I believe he made it up, right? 01:26:28.870 --> 01:26:29.451 I'm trusting him. 01:26:29.891 --> 01:26:31.432 Julian Rawlinson from Warrington. 01:26:32.573 --> 01:26:37.619 says, why did the specials, the band The Specials, feel so bloated after their Chinese takeaway? 01:26:38.500 --> 01:26:40.143 Too much Fu, too much Fu Yang? 01:26:44.589 --> 01:26:54.855 Here is a really bad joke that my friend Kenny has been working on since he heard a documentary about Constantinople on Radio 4 two weeks ago. 01:26:55.395 --> 01:27:03.139 It's undergone several incarnations and has involved a great deal of blood, sweat and tears in searching of Wikipedia to get it to the polished perfection it now stands at. 01:27:03.359 --> 01:27:03.760 Here we go. 01:27:04.660 --> 01:27:15.186 What did the leader of the Ottoman Empire say when he ordered that his favourite sweets be renamed to Starburst in order to commemorate the renaming of Istanbul? 01:27:18.627 --> 01:27:19.908 Tim Vine doesn't tell this one. 01:27:20.789 --> 01:27:21.209 I don't know. 01:27:21.269 --> 01:27:22.209 Punch line, okay? 01:27:22.529 --> 01:27:23.890 Now don't expect to get this immediately. 01:27:23.990 --> 01:27:24.450 Punch line. 01:27:24.891 --> 01:27:26.532 I can't stand an opal fruit. 01:27:27.452 --> 01:27:31.555 Alright, okay, now don't worry if that's not funny, because listen, Constantinople. 01:27:31.795 --> 01:27:42.182 Obviously, the humour comes from the fact that opal fruits were renamed Starburst, an historical move that mirrored the renaming of Constantinople as Istanbul following the fall of the Byzantine Empire. 01:27:42.662 --> 01:27:48.146 Just as the leader of the Ottoman Empire can no longer stand Constantinople, he can no longer stand opal fruits. 01:27:48.846 --> 01:27:52.229 Kenny is worried that this joke is so obvious that it has been made before. 01:27:54.470 --> 01:27:56.051 But I'm sure that's not the case. 01:27:59.936 --> 01:28:05.044 What did the leader of the Ottoman Empire say when he ordered that his favourite sweets be renamed Starburst in order to commemorate the renaming of Istanbul? 01:28:06.045 --> 01:28:07.327 I can't stand an opal fruit! 01:28:07.910 --> 01:28:10.934 I'm Michael Mack, I'm sorry, good night. 01:28:10.994 --> 01:28:13.917 Here's one more from Gareth Davis. 01:28:14.838 --> 01:28:18.442 He says, and again, starts conversationally, which I always enjoy. 01:28:18.462 --> 01:28:22.747 Did I tell you I had a problem after my flight from Argentina? 01:28:23.548 --> 01:28:25.710 A musician was playing in my bloodstream. 01:28:26.371 --> 01:28:28.654 Turned out I had deep vein trombonist. 01:28:32.560 --> 01:28:34.242 Hope you like it, says Gareth Davis. 01:28:36.164 --> 01:28:37.566 I mean, that's probably made up, isn't it? 01:28:37.606 --> 01:28:38.086 Yeah. 01:28:38.627 --> 01:28:39.908 Because it's barely worth saying it. 01:28:39.948 --> 01:28:42.050 It's barely worth saying. 01:28:42.090 --> 01:28:46.976 I mean, it's wasteful on so many levels with the world in crisis as it is. 01:28:48.317 --> 01:28:51.178 I mean... Anyway, listen, keep your made-up jokes coming in. 01:28:51.198 --> 01:28:54.299 You can email them to us or text them. 01:28:54.359 --> 01:28:55.779 The text is... No, you can't text them. 01:28:55.799 --> 01:28:56.279 Don't text them. 01:28:56.299 --> 01:28:59.480 The email is adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 01:29:00.000 --> 01:29:04.182 And please make sure you only send in genuinely authored jokes. 01:29:04.202 --> 01:29:05.342 Well, find out if not! 01:29:05.982 --> 01:29:09.064 Mumford and Sons right now, this is Little Lion Man. 01:29:09.304 --> 01:29:11.145 That's Mumford and Sons with Little Lion Man. 01:29:11.165 --> 01:29:18.608 This is Adam and Jo on BBC6 Music coming into the last 12 minutes of the show, so just time to read out some final Text the Nation entries. 01:29:18.668 --> 01:29:19.509 Are we going to do the jingle? 01:29:21.950 --> 01:29:22.770 Text the Nation! 01:29:22.810 --> 01:29:23.091 Text! 01:29:23.191 --> 01:29:23.451 Text! 01:29:23.531 --> 01:29:23.851 Text! 01:29:23.991 --> 01:29:24.731 Text the Nation! 01:29:24.791 --> 01:29:25.752 What if I don't want to? 01:29:26.012 --> 01:29:26.732 Text the Nation! 01:29:26.832 --> 01:29:27.813 But I'm using email. 01:29:28.013 --> 01:29:28.733 Is that a problem? 01:29:28.753 --> 01:29:29.314 It doesn't matter! 01:29:29.354 --> 01:29:29.554 Text! 01:29:32.042 --> 01:29:40.684 Text the nation all about ridiculous officiousness from Petty, what would you call them, officials, security guards, policemen, that sort of stuff. 01:29:41.764 --> 01:29:43.644 Just rounded off with a couple. 01:29:44.024 --> 01:29:45.825 Here's one from Ed Pentelow. 01:29:46.245 --> 01:29:51.926 My girlfriend aged 32 was refused the sale of a pizza cutting wheel thing at Morrison's in Wood Green. 01:29:52.466 --> 01:29:57.227 She was visibly bemused, so the cashier reminded her of the knife crime issue in the area. 01:29:57.347 --> 01:29:58.387 Oh my lord. 01:29:58.787 --> 01:30:00.649 Could you damage someone with a pizza slicer? 01:30:00.969 --> 01:30:01.930 Yeah, you definitely could. 01:30:01.950 --> 01:30:04.293 I mean, you wouldn't be allowed to take a pizza slicer on a plane, would you? 01:30:04.613 --> 01:30:05.394 No, you wouldn't. 01:30:06.395 --> 01:30:11.140 But if you were injured by one, it would be quite easy to stitch the bit back in, wouldn't it? 01:30:11.536 --> 01:30:14.638 You could just use the cheese to... to... to bond it. 01:30:14.658 --> 01:30:15.799 Reattach everything, yeah. 01:30:15.819 --> 01:30:16.959 The hot cheese. 01:30:17.219 --> 01:30:19.081 Or just fry it up, make a fleshy pizza. 01:30:19.441 --> 01:30:20.081 Be delicious. 01:30:20.201 --> 01:30:20.962 Be revolting. 01:30:21.482 --> 01:30:24.944 Here's another one from Ray Wake. 01:30:24.964 --> 01:30:25.004 Hi. 01:30:25.144 --> 01:30:36.471 Once I left my watch in a swimming pool changing rooms, when I phoned up to ask the person in charge of lost property if it was there, I described the watch in detail down to the fact that the face changes colour when one presses the small button on the right side of the watch. 01:30:36.831 --> 01:30:37.572 He said yes. 01:30:38.152 --> 01:30:40.994 We have a watch matching that description and... hang on. 01:30:41.374 --> 01:30:42.775 gap while he fiddles with my watch. 01:30:43.176 --> 01:30:44.116 It does change colour. 01:30:44.136 --> 01:30:45.257 Oh, how clever. 01:30:45.938 --> 01:30:51.362 When I said, great, thanks a lot, I'll come and collect it, he said, hang on a minute, how do I know you're the true owner? 01:30:51.702 --> 01:30:54.044 You could just be anyone phoning up asking for a watch. 01:30:54.645 --> 01:30:59.829 I said, well, because how would I know there was a watch with a button on the side that changed the colour of the face in the changing room? 01:31:00.329 --> 01:31:01.971 He said, well, it could be a coincidence. 01:31:02.551 --> 01:31:05.393 Please tell me the product code written in tiny writing on the back of the watch. 01:31:06.334 --> 01:31:09.417 When I explained that I clearly had no idea what this number was, he said, well then, 01:31:09.977 --> 01:31:14.700 In that case, you'll need to bring a photo of you wearing the watch if you want to get it back. 01:31:15.180 --> 01:31:16.461 He was entirely serious. 01:31:17.061 --> 01:31:18.542 Oh my goodness! 01:31:19.322 --> 01:31:21.043 And then finally, to cap it all! 01:31:21.423 --> 01:31:22.604 This is from Matthew in London. 01:31:22.684 --> 01:31:26.746 I was once in the Detroit Institute of Arts looking at the collection. 01:31:27.407 --> 01:31:30.088 I was quietly chewing on some gum, minding my own business. 01:31:30.589 --> 01:31:33.770 A museum guard silently walked up to me and handed me a piece of paper. 01:31:34.271 --> 01:31:34.631 It said, 01:31:35.131 --> 01:31:38.432 Chewing gum is not allowed in the Detroit Institute of Arts galleries. 01:31:38.912 --> 01:31:42.673 After reading this information, you may use this piece of paper to place your gum in. 01:31:44.053 --> 01:31:44.754 That's polite, though. 01:31:44.774 --> 01:31:45.574 That's kind of neat. 01:31:45.934 --> 01:31:47.774 Just a neat one to round it up with there. 01:31:48.034 --> 01:31:48.554 Absolutely. 01:31:48.594 --> 01:32:02.178 Thank you very much for all your texts and emails, and if you're listening throughout the week, you can email us with more of your run-ins with Petty Officialdom for retro textination on the weekend's show that's coming up. 01:32:02.438 --> 01:32:05.239 Yeah, the email is adamandjo.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk. 01:32:05.339 --> 01:32:06.200 Oh, okay. 01:32:06.380 --> 01:32:07.720 Quite a bad bit of talking ideas. 01:32:07.760 --> 01:32:08.941 That was good, that was good. 01:32:08.981 --> 01:32:09.801 Yeah, thanks a lot. 01:32:10.361 --> 01:32:12.082 Here's a free choice now, Joe, this is yours. 01:32:12.122 --> 01:32:16.384 Yeah, I was watching, for one reason or another, a little bit of Donnie Darko. 01:32:16.404 --> 01:32:17.264 Do you know that film? 01:32:17.284 --> 01:32:17.764 Sure, I do. 01:32:17.884 --> 01:32:18.945 It's a big cult movie. 01:32:18.985 --> 01:32:21.986 No one knows what it's on about, but, you know, it's really exciting. 01:32:22.026 --> 01:32:23.427 S Darko, that's the one to see, though. 01:32:23.467 --> 01:32:24.167 That's the sequel. 01:32:24.207 --> 01:32:24.987 Oh, it's apparently amazing. 01:32:25.007 --> 01:32:25.648 Have you seen that? 01:32:25.668 --> 01:32:26.428 No, why would I? 01:32:26.508 --> 01:32:28.309 It's apparently a toilet cake, isn't it? 01:32:29.189 --> 01:32:33.491 Anyway, and he uses in that film this track by Tis for Fears Head Over Heels. 01:32:33.511 --> 01:32:35.612 He does like a whole new video more or less, doesn't he? 01:32:35.632 --> 01:32:37.433 Yeah, it's really fantastic, one of the best. 01:32:37.493 --> 01:32:52.359 I don't know quite why it's so fantastic, but this song really works really well in the context of high school and it's kind of over melodramatic and it's kind of lots of images of cheerleaders and stuff like that and kind of walking across the school precinct, you know, being stared at and stuff. 01:32:52.999 --> 01:32:54.480 Yeah, really good. 01:32:54.961 --> 01:32:57.242 And I always think of that sequence now when I hear this song. 01:32:57.262 --> 01:32:58.823 But here's Tears for Fears with Head Over Heels. 01:33:05.789 --> 01:33:09.251 I like that last line. 01:33:09.431 --> 01:33:10.712 That's Tears for Fears with Head Over Heels. 01:33:10.752 --> 01:33:12.153 That's it from us this week, listeners. 01:33:12.193 --> 01:33:15.896 Thanks very much to everybody who's listened, everyone who's emailed and texted. 01:33:16.196 --> 01:33:19.378 We'll be back at the same time next week, 9am till noon, here on BBC6 Music. 01:33:20.419 --> 01:33:21.620 Stay tuned for Liz Kershaw. 01:33:21.680 --> 01:33:22.240 She's coming up. 01:33:22.340 --> 01:33:26.281 Don't forget that we've got a podcast of this show, which is available and it's enjoyable. 01:33:26.301 --> 01:33:29.222 And it's got little, little extra sprinkles on there as well. 01:33:29.242 --> 01:33:31.543 And it's available and enjoyable. 01:33:32.063 --> 01:33:33.624 Just like me. 01:33:35.665 --> 01:33:36.785 I laughed and some snot came out. 01:33:38.032 --> 01:33:39.373 We'll be back with you, of course. 01:33:39.533 --> 01:33:41.774 I was going to say the podcast comes out on a Monday evening. 01:33:42.634 --> 01:33:43.574 Sometimes earlier. 01:33:43.694 --> 01:33:44.114 Check it out. 01:33:44.174 --> 01:33:45.015 Sometimes even earlier. 01:33:45.035 --> 01:33:45.355 It's exciting. 01:33:45.675 --> 01:33:51.897 Keep pressing refresh all weekend on your iTunes or your other MP3 conveyance device. 01:33:52.397 --> 01:33:53.778 Have a fantastic week, listeners. 01:33:53.938 --> 01:33:58.419 Don't forget to check out our blog to find out more details about how you can join us at the Electric Proms. 01:33:59.000 --> 01:34:01.080 And we look forward to being with you again next week. 01:34:01.641 --> 01:34:01.981 Bye-bye. 01:34:02.021 --> 01:34:02.301 Take care. 01:34:02.321 --> 01:34:02.621 Love you, bye.