WEBVTT 00:01.042 --> 00:19.916 And welcome to the Big British Castle It's time for Adam and Joe to broadcast on the radio There'll be some music and some random talking in between And then eventually the whole thing will just end Black Squadron! 00:19.936 --> 00:27.502 Always catch the beginning of the show Black Squadron don't wanna miss a thing That's not the one Black Squadron wrote 00:30.825 --> 00:38.672 Went to bed at a reasonable hour, Gotta be sharp on Saturday morning, That's the secret of the Squirt brings back. 00:42.110 --> 00:49.613 Good morning Black Squadron, you are the Elite Listening Force, the Faithful, the Few of the Few, the Best of the Few, the Pu... what? 00:50.033 --> 00:50.874 The what of the what? 00:51.274 --> 00:52.134 The Few of the Pu? 00:52.454 --> 00:53.575 No, the Pu of the Few? 00:54.535 --> 00:59.597 Black Squadron are the Elite Listening Squad that listen to this show live between 9am and 9.30am every morning. 01:01.898 --> 01:04.799 If you're in another country listening live, you're Globe Squadron. 01:05.460 --> 01:09.341 There are various other squadron subsets that can be researched. 01:09.461 --> 01:09.702 Yeah. 01:09.902 --> 01:11.282 Rupert Everett, are you talking about? 01:12.003 --> 01:14.043 He was in another country and he might be listening live. 01:14.223 --> 01:14.504 Nice. 01:15.044 --> 01:16.384 Yeah, exactly. 01:16.845 --> 01:18.185 Rupert, what do you think of his new face? 01:18.665 --> 01:19.486 Has he got a new face? 01:19.526 --> 01:20.766 Yeah, he's had his face done. 01:21.046 --> 01:22.427 He's had it totally reconstructed. 01:22.447 --> 01:25.328 Especially for his, he made a documentary about Lord Byron. 01:25.689 --> 01:26.349 Oh, yes. 01:26.509 --> 01:28.630 And he's had a new face done for it. 01:29.190 --> 01:30.991 Because that's a Byron thing to do. 01:31.791 --> 01:33.452 Byron was obsessed with being young. 01:33.772 --> 01:34.093 Yeah. 01:34.193 --> 01:34.453 Was he? 01:35.173 --> 01:35.613 I think so. 01:35.653 --> 01:36.674 He was a dandy, wasn't he? 01:36.694 --> 01:37.174 Probably. 01:37.194 --> 01:37.714 He was vain. 01:38.014 --> 01:39.415 He looks very young and handsome now. 01:39.555 --> 01:39.815 Does he? 01:39.835 --> 01:42.217 He doesn't look like a freaky kind of plastic man. 01:42.277 --> 01:42.837 Yes, he does. 01:44.778 --> 01:45.538 Very young and handsome. 01:45.578 --> 01:48.300 That's what usually happens when people have surgery on their face. 01:48.340 --> 01:48.520 Oh, dear. 01:48.860 --> 01:50.901 I just had a crank two flashback. 01:51.314 --> 01:51.714 What's that? 01:52.174 --> 01:53.075 It's a film, Crank 2. 01:53.395 --> 01:54.276 I watched it last night. 01:54.776 --> 01:56.397 You had a flashback. 01:56.437 --> 01:57.437 It's traumatised me. 01:58.378 --> 02:02.200 A woman gets shot in her plastic bosoms. 02:02.580 --> 02:03.040 Right. 02:04.621 --> 02:06.482 They're pushing out the boat. 02:06.522 --> 02:08.083 That was 15 minutes in. 02:08.163 --> 02:09.944 Thinking of great new things to show people. 02:10.124 --> 02:12.305 That visual just flashed back into my head. 02:12.365 --> 02:13.706 You loved Crank 1 as well, didn't you? 02:13.786 --> 02:14.927 Did love Crank One. 02:15.027 --> 02:19.870 You recommended that so strongly that I took it home one Christmas when we had loads of people staying with us. 02:19.890 --> 02:20.951 Christmas with Crank. 02:21.291 --> 02:22.152 Christmas with Crank. 02:22.492 --> 02:23.513 I got some Christmas with Crank. 02:23.873 --> 02:26.875 And so there was an evening, and it was an exciting evening. 02:26.935 --> 02:28.657 I said, come on, let's watch a film. 02:29.017 --> 02:29.818 This is a good one. 02:29.878 --> 02:30.718 Everyone's like, what have you got? 02:31.018 --> 02:31.839 Oh, it's a good one. 02:32.079 --> 02:33.400 It's been recommended to me by Joe. 02:33.420 --> 02:34.101 You had guests around. 02:34.181 --> 02:34.381 Yeah. 02:34.981 --> 02:37.764 This is a really good, Joe says this is amazing. 02:38.204 --> 02:43.208 Stuck it on, projected it on the wall and got everyone to sit round, handed out snack rolls. 02:43.228 --> 02:43.369 Crank! 02:43.389 --> 02:43.529 Crank! 02:43.549 --> 02:43.649 Crank! 02:43.669 --> 02:43.769 Crank! 02:43.789 --> 02:43.889 Crank! 02:43.909 --> 02:44.009 Crank! 02:44.410 --> 02:44.550 Crank! 02:44.590 --> 02:44.690 Crank! 02:44.710 --> 02:44.810 Crank! 02:44.830 --> 02:44.930 Crank! 02:44.950 --> 02:45.070 Crank! 02:45.110 --> 02:45.210 Crank! 02:45.230 --> 02:45.330 Crank! 02:45.350 --> 02:45.470 Crank! 02:45.490 --> 02:45.591 Crank! 02:45.611 --> 02:45.711 Crank! 02:45.731 --> 02:45.831 Crank! 02:45.851 --> 02:45.951 Crank! 02:45.971 --> 02:46.071 Crank! 02:46.091 --> 02:46.191 Crank! 02:46.211 --> 02:46.311 Crank! 02:46.331 --> 02:46.451 Crank! 02:46.471 --> 02:47.332 Crank! 02:47.432 --> 02:47.732 Crank! 02:47.752 --> 02:47.853 Crank! 02:48.633 --> 02:48.753 Crank! 02:48.773 --> 02:48.913 Crank! 02:48.933 --> 02:49.094 Crank! 02:49.114 --> 02:49.394 Crank! 02:49.454 --> 02:49.654 Crank! 02:49.674 --> 02:49.794 Crank! 02:49.814 --> 02:49.974 Crank! 02:49.994 --> 02:50.095 Crank! 02:50.115 --> 02:50.215 Crank! 02:50.235 --> 02:50.375 Crank! 02:50.395 --> 02:50.495 Crank! 02:50.515 --> 02:50.635 Crank! 02:50.655 --> 02:50.755 Crank! 02:50.775 --> 02:50.875 Crank! 02:50.915 --> 02:51.015 Crank! 02:51.035 --> 02:51.135 Crank! 02:51.155 --> 02:51.296 Crank! 02:51.336 --> 02:51.476 Crank! 02:51.496 --> 02:51.696 Crank! 02:51.716 --> 02:52.216 Crank! 02:52.236 --> 02:52.377 Crank! 02:52.437 --> 02:52.657 Crank! 02:52.677 --> 02:52.797 Crank! 02:52.817 --> 02:52.917 Crank! 02:52.937 --> 02:53.037 Crank! 02:53.057 --> 02:53.197 Crank! 02:53.217 --> 02:53.337 Crank! 02:53.498 --> 02:53.678 Crank! 02:53.698 --> 02:53.858 Crank! 02:53.878 --> 02:54.118 Crank! 02:54.138 --> 02:54.298 Crank! 02:54.318 --> 02:54.438 Crank! 02:54.458 --> 02:54.578 Crank! 02:54.639 --> 02:54.899 Crank! 02:54.919 --> 02:55.039 Crank! 02:55.059 --> 02:55.259 Crank! 02:55.279 --> 02:55.419 Crank! 02:55.439 --> 02:55.759 Crank! 02:55.780 --> 02:55.820 Cr 02:56.500 --> 02:57.121 I'm gonna go. 02:57.501 --> 02:58.962 I'm quite tired. 02:59.202 --> 02:59.882 I'll see you tomorrow. 02:59.942 --> 03:00.823 That was a lovely day. 03:00.863 --> 03:01.403 Thanks very much. 03:01.423 --> 03:03.705 It's like screening in at an old people's home. 03:04.065 --> 03:06.127 A bunch of crotchety old grandads. 03:06.387 --> 03:07.508 Cranks the future! 03:07.528 --> 03:11.610 If you're not into crank, then you might as well give up on culture. 03:12.411 --> 03:13.592 Cranks the new beginning! 03:14.512 --> 03:18.733 Have you got a message for Black Squadron? 03:19.073 --> 03:20.894 Not only have I got a message, I've got a command. 03:21.554 --> 03:23.395 Black Squadron, you're about to be issued your command. 03:23.455 --> 03:30.456 Remember, if you don't carry out this command, you can consider yourself summarily ejected from the squadron. 03:31.157 --> 03:33.077 You can kick yourself out of your own front door. 03:33.937 --> 03:35.018 So we're going to play a record. 03:35.438 --> 03:38.159 Just before the record, we're going to give you the command that you have to undertake. 03:38.219 --> 03:39.239 Is the record standing by? 03:40.259 --> 03:41.980 Okay Black Squadron, here's your command. 03:42.481 --> 03:49.605 Proceed as quickly as possible to a mirror, look at yourself in it, slap yourself round the face and shout SNAP OUT OF IT! 04:01.522 --> 04:03.204 That was an invented fact. 04:03.324 --> 04:04.545 We should have an invented fact. 04:04.585 --> 04:06.187 We'd be playing it round the clock. 04:06.367 --> 04:08.009 That was an invented fact. 04:08.690 --> 04:11.332 That was based on spurious guesswork. 04:11.573 --> 04:12.534 Could be the other jingle. 04:12.674 --> 04:12.974 Yeah. 04:13.535 --> 04:16.518 Kiss of Life by Friendly Fires is the song we just play. 04:16.538 --> 04:21.804 Friendly Fires are presenting a show on 6 Music this Sunday as part of our month of Mercurys. 04:22.745 --> 04:35.018 And they didn't win anything at the Mercurys, I'm afraid to say, but that hasn't stopped them, you know, putting their chin up, jutting their chin out and saying, never mind, there's always next year, there's always the chance we might get a Mercury nom next year. 04:35.158 --> 04:36.900 Who won the Mercury nom last year? 04:37.701 --> 04:40.204 Well, the big Mercury winners were Elbow, weren't they? 04:40.765 --> 04:41.365 Ah, were they? 04:41.806 --> 04:43.227 And this year it was Speech to Bell. 04:43.968 --> 04:52.853 I mean Elbow was sort of well established before they won the Mercury, so there's no question of them fading from view the way some people who have won the Mercury Prize in the past have done. 04:53.013 --> 04:53.693 Have they really? 04:53.733 --> 04:56.635 Do some people consider it as a bit of a kiss of death? 04:56.795 --> 04:59.276 Well, it's a poisoned chalice for some people, isn't it? 04:59.356 --> 05:01.517 Who was the guy Ronnie Sighs and his represent? 05:01.737 --> 05:06.580 Right, you don't really want approbation from above, do you, if you're a rebellious pop type? 05:07.381 --> 05:08.002 No, exactly. 05:08.022 --> 05:09.764 You don't want to be formed prefect or the head boy. 05:09.784 --> 05:11.286 You don't want to be stroked by the head boy. 05:11.306 --> 05:13.188 You want to be at the back of the bus flicking V's. 05:13.849 --> 05:15.451 Well done, speech to Belle. 05:15.752 --> 05:16.212 Well done. 05:17.233 --> 05:20.217 All the chaps think you've done a brilliant job on your album. 05:20.237 --> 05:23.542 You're gobbing in the street as the best gobbing in the school. 05:24.002 --> 05:25.784 Well done with your Flemmy bits. 05:26.184 --> 05:29.467 You're a naughty chap and we think that's great. 05:30.108 --> 05:31.029 Top marks. 05:31.309 --> 05:33.471 Here's a prize and a cheque to go with. 05:33.631 --> 05:36.654 We've given up trying to get everybody to speak proper. 05:36.934 --> 05:39.657 From now on the whole school gonna speak not proper. 05:40.197 --> 05:42.238 And you're going to be the leader of them. 05:42.618 --> 05:43.519 Wicked, well done. 05:43.899 --> 05:44.639 Grim, grim, grim it. 05:44.999 --> 05:46.080 Grim, grim, grim it. 05:46.260 --> 05:53.804 Listen, I'm not going to dress the same way as you, just so you know, or behave like you, or actually listen to the records you're making. 05:54.204 --> 05:56.265 But good job, there's the check. 05:56.485 --> 05:58.486 I want people to think I'm cool like you. 05:58.706 --> 06:01.087 Stand next to you, give you a prize. 06:01.387 --> 06:03.108 Look at me disco dancing. 06:03.408 --> 06:05.770 Speech to Belle come round for dinner with me. 06:06.790 --> 06:07.950 That's not the head of the Mercury. 06:07.970 --> 06:11.611 It's a little song he sung just backstage after he'd given her the prize. 06:11.631 --> 06:17.352 You know, the people that decide the Mercury Prize, the nominees and the winners, are nothing like that. 06:17.812 --> 06:18.592 Freddie Mercury. 06:19.252 --> 06:20.853 It's nothing to do with Freddie Mercury. 06:21.293 --> 06:23.533 They're all young, intelligent, groovy people. 06:23.953 --> 06:25.514 Nothing like the way we've just characterized them. 06:25.534 --> 06:26.914 It's another made up fact. 06:27.014 --> 06:28.654 It's another made up fact. 06:28.674 --> 06:31.815 You see, we just have to have that as a music bed, basically, not a jingle. 06:32.035 --> 06:33.335 Now, can you hear that I've got a cold? 06:33.695 --> 06:38.357 Yeah, listeners, Adam came in today looking very under the weather with a terrible cold. 06:38.798 --> 06:39.678 Yeah. 06:39.758 --> 06:41.319 And you're doing very well on coming in. 06:41.339 --> 06:42.540 I've got some Medicaid decisions. 06:42.760 --> 06:47.482 Well, I wasn't sure if I should come in because, you know, a few months back, it was a big deal. 06:47.502 --> 06:51.144 Like on the news, it was like, well, if you've got a cold, should you go into work? 06:51.484 --> 06:58.088 And the consensus was no, you shouldn't because it's putting your coworkers at risk of the pandemic. 06:59.348 --> 07:01.850 But then I thought the pandemic's over a little you just flinched. 07:01.930 --> 07:15.898 Well, I said that very loud and I suddenly had a sort of Medical flash you I should have covered my mouth with I could see the disease molecules flying through the air towards me covering my mouth with a medicated tissue I had a macro flash 07:16.198 --> 07:16.919 Is that better? 07:17.499 --> 07:18.120 Yeah, that's better. 07:18.160 --> 07:18.660 Keep talking. 07:18.680 --> 07:19.621 If I carry on talking. 07:19.641 --> 07:21.003 It's very ghastly because of the beard. 07:21.363 --> 07:21.563 Right. 07:22.284 --> 07:22.724 I can't do that. 07:22.744 --> 07:23.325 That's ridiculous. 07:23.926 --> 07:25.687 But no, I did wonder if I should come in. 07:25.968 --> 07:31.052 But then on the other hand, the good thing about having a cold is that it does give a special quality to your voice, right? 07:32.194 --> 07:33.675 A special kind of a tambourine. 07:34.082 --> 07:34.963 Yeah, no, it's good. 07:35.003 --> 07:35.723 It's sounding good. 07:36.224 --> 07:37.425 I sound a bit like the lady. 07:37.525 --> 07:41.949 Who's the lady that does the sort of trails before our show starts? 07:41.989 --> 07:42.789 Can you play that thing? 07:42.809 --> 07:44.031 The sexy, bored one. 07:44.051 --> 07:44.771 The sexy one. 07:44.811 --> 07:46.312 She says everything the same way. 07:46.352 --> 07:47.173 I'm so bored. 07:47.193 --> 07:48.014 She is sexy. 07:48.074 --> 07:49.055 Six music. 07:49.075 --> 07:50.456 It's a day from two. 07:51.157 --> 07:51.937 John Holmes. 07:52.618 --> 07:52.998 Yeah. 07:53.018 --> 07:53.659 From midday. 07:54.259 --> 07:55.240 Liz Kershaw. 07:55.280 --> 07:55.620 What? 07:55.840 --> 07:57.702 And now, it's Adam and Joe. 07:57.722 --> 07:58.482 Who cares? 07:58.582 --> 07:59.923 She just talks like that. 07:59.943 --> 08:00.784 Stuff him down the toilet. 08:00.804 --> 08:01.504 All the time. 08:01.524 --> 08:02.025 Who cares? 08:02.085 --> 08:04.567 Listen darling, I'm going to the shops. 08:04.967 --> 08:06.188 Do you want anything? 08:06.988 --> 08:07.969 Actually hang on. 08:08.329 --> 08:08.850 Tonight? 08:09.190 --> 08:09.490 What? 08:09.830 --> 08:10.491 Half price. 08:11.071 --> 08:11.852 Fish fingers. 08:12.152 --> 08:12.552 Yeah. 08:12.933 --> 08:13.413 Yeah. 08:13.953 --> 08:15.655 Do you want fish fingers for tea? 08:16.235 --> 08:18.117 Okay, that's what we'll have. 08:18.837 --> 08:21.438 Do you want potatoes or broccoli? 08:22.018 --> 08:22.438 It's 7.15. 08:22.558 --> 08:23.019 Or both. 08:23.039 --> 08:24.119 The bill. 08:24.139 --> 08:27.420 I don't know why she extended it there. 08:27.540 --> 08:28.461 I think she got stuck. 08:29.821 --> 08:32.402 Also, folks, we've got song wars coming up. 08:32.582 --> 08:33.843 We failed to tease that so far. 08:33.863 --> 08:34.943 15 minutes into the show. 08:35.143 --> 08:40.267 We're going to do that maybe between 10 and 10.30 maybe give them their first outings or before that maybe before 10. 08:40.327 --> 08:40.648 Who knows? 08:40.688 --> 08:41.148 Nobody knows. 08:41.188 --> 08:41.629 Nobody knows. 08:41.809 --> 08:46.813 But in the next quarter of an hour, sorry to interrupt you there Joe, we're going to do retro text the nation. 08:47.033 --> 08:52.097 We're going to be wrapping up our business from last week's text the nation which was our cinema manifesto. 08:53.018 --> 08:58.543 That's going to happen in the next 15 minutes, maybe even in the next link or after a couple of tracks. 08:58.703 --> 09:04.431 Here's a free play for you right now, and this is getting into the spirit of our Song Wars battle, which was all about baths, right? 09:04.692 --> 09:05.072 Yes. 09:05.273 --> 09:08.517 We've done bath songs for you, which you can hear after 10 o'clock on the show. 09:08.918 --> 09:12.743 So this is the first of a couple of specially themed free plays for me. 09:12.763 --> 09:12.944 Nice. 09:13.244 --> 09:15.367 This is Zafex Twin with Analog Bubble Bath. 09:16.237 --> 09:30.811 I like to listen to Adam and John But I listen to the podcast, not the live show I used to feel a cute frustration Because I couldn't join in with Tex the Nation 09:31.451 --> 09:46.072 But now my troubles have disappeared Because Red's Road takes big nations here And now my letter might be read out Instead of thrown in the trash and forgotten about 09:47.492 --> 10:00.980 Yes, listeners, it's time for Retro Text the Nation, and if you don't listen to this show in podcast form, then this will be a new kind of feature for you, and the idea is to kind of settle business with last week's Text the Nation subject. 10:01.080 --> 10:11.226 It's an opportunity for podcast listeners to contribute to the programme, you see, because if the show is live and then they listen to the show during the week, then they can't contribute to Text the Nation, right? 10:11.386 --> 10:13.087 But with Retro Text the Nation, they can. 10:13.507 --> 10:15.969 Because they get a one more chance, right? 10:16.009 --> 10:17.049 The following weekend. 10:17.109 --> 10:18.290 Or listen again, listeners. 10:19.071 --> 10:22.033 You don't want to make any kind of a... Actually, I do. 10:22.053 --> 10:24.374 Well, you didn't know what I was going to say. 10:24.414 --> 10:27.576 You don't want to make any kind of a... And now you've said you do. 10:27.777 --> 10:28.157 I do. 10:28.317 --> 10:37.003 What if I was going to say you don't want to make any kind of a small fascist state that you command over and rule with a hideously violent regime of oppression? 10:37.063 --> 10:38.724 That's exactly what I want to do. 10:38.884 --> 10:39.384 Whereabouts? 10:40.045 --> 10:41.646 I want to construct it up. 10:42.206 --> 10:43.147 near where I live. 10:45.588 --> 10:46.188 In a tent. 10:46.208 --> 10:47.929 Don't put it all the way up near where you live. 10:47.949 --> 10:51.151 You know, because I've got no truck with the Listen Again listeners. 10:51.211 --> 10:52.711 I want to fight all of them. 10:52.951 --> 10:53.212 What? 10:53.232 --> 10:54.172 I want to fight. 10:54.212 --> 10:55.233 There's only 50 of them. 10:55.833 --> 10:57.153 I can take all of them on. 10:57.594 --> 10:59.275 There's more than 50 of them. 10:59.295 --> 10:59.275 55,000. 10:59.535 --> 11:03.417 There's probably hundreds and thousands. 11:03.477 --> 11:04.297 I'm not scared of them. 11:04.457 --> 11:05.659 They're hundreds and thousands. 11:05.759 --> 11:11.669 I'm supposed to be impressed by them and the fact they can listen to something on the iPlayer without it sticking every two seconds. 11:12.129 --> 11:13.251 I'm supposed to be impressed by that? 11:13.772 --> 11:14.293 You're not! 11:14.333 --> 11:15.355 You're gonna regret that. 11:16.035 --> 11:18.577 You've alienated a massive tranche of listeners. 11:18.597 --> 11:21.098 I thought you were going to say I've alienated Tron. 11:21.939 --> 11:23.660 You've alienated a massive Tron. 11:24.061 --> 11:25.962 I've alienated Tron, that would be awful. 11:26.542 --> 11:29.124 Listen, we should get on with this because the news is coming up and we'll run out of time. 11:29.224 --> 11:29.384 Yes. 11:29.804 --> 11:39.131 But last week's Texan Nation subject was contributions to a cinema manifesto, 10 points which will improve the enjoyability of cinemas around the country. 11:39.551 --> 11:41.152 improving the experience of going to the cinema. 11:41.252 --> 11:43.874 OK, so we've got 13 candidate points. 11:44.654 --> 11:47.416 You've got to tell us, Adam, which one of these are going to make it onto the manifesto. 11:47.936 --> 11:49.257 This is from Gary Chamberlain. 11:49.337 --> 11:52.939 He says, and this was a good one, cinema should have headphone sockets in the seats. 11:53.540 --> 11:53.980 I like it. 11:54.380 --> 11:55.000 We're going for that. 11:55.040 --> 11:56.201 That's going on the manifesto. 11:56.221 --> 11:56.441 Yes. 11:56.501 --> 11:57.242 I really like that one. 11:57.262 --> 11:57.522 Tick. 11:57.942 --> 12:02.225 Tom in Loughborough says, when the film is on, the cinema should be engulfed in utter darkness. 12:02.585 --> 12:04.646 The only light in the room should be from the projector. 12:04.846 --> 12:05.387 Absolutely. 12:05.427 --> 12:08.969 So he wants exit signs, got rid of any kind of distracting points of light. 12:09.209 --> 12:11.050 You can have little glowy exit signs. 12:11.090 --> 12:12.090 No, no, no. 12:12.170 --> 12:12.771 Tom says no. 12:13.091 --> 12:13.891 No health and safety. 12:13.971 --> 12:15.512 No other light apart from the projector. 12:15.672 --> 12:16.072 Fair enough. 12:16.332 --> 12:16.572 Yes. 12:17.012 --> 12:17.553 Yeah, I like it. 12:17.673 --> 12:19.794 People might get hurt, but it's a small price to pay. 12:19.814 --> 12:20.194 I don't mind. 12:20.214 --> 12:21.034 For enjoyment. 12:21.154 --> 12:26.116 Pauline Maidenhead, all popcorn should be crushed and chewed so that when eaten, it does not disrupt the film. 12:26.136 --> 12:27.317 Yeah, we discussed this in detail. 12:27.457 --> 12:27.937 We did. 12:28.117 --> 12:32.039 Like, whether you want spotty teenagers feeding you food like a bird. 12:32.179 --> 12:34.020 Pre-masticated popcorn. 12:35.140 --> 12:37.721 Is there any way we could just get attractive people to do it? 12:38.642 --> 12:39.362 Sexy people. 12:40.122 --> 12:41.663 Then I would really go for the idea. 12:41.923 --> 12:45.925 Like the shop Abercrombie and Fitch apparently only employs really sexy staff. 12:45.945 --> 12:46.565 Did you read about that? 12:46.585 --> 12:48.126 They've got in trouble for discrimination. 12:48.226 --> 12:48.806 Allegedly. 12:49.006 --> 12:49.566 Allegedly. 12:49.586 --> 12:49.787 Yeah. 12:50.147 --> 12:51.287 So it would be a bit like that. 12:51.747 --> 12:52.208 Right. 12:53.428 --> 12:54.349 Sexy discrimination. 12:54.369 --> 12:56.610 So you'd prefer like a sexy staff member. 12:56.630 --> 12:56.710 Yeah. 12:56.730 --> 12:59.731 You'd eat masticated food from a sexy staff member. 12:59.751 --> 13:00.051 Duh. 13:00.071 --> 13:00.971 Alright. 13:01.151 --> 13:01.972 That's a no-brainer. 13:02.452 --> 13:03.393 I'd do it. 13:03.453 --> 13:03.853 It's in. 13:03.933 --> 13:04.694 It's point number three. 13:04.734 --> 13:05.194 Point number four. 13:05.254 --> 13:12.340 Seat should be magnetised to stop people going to the toilet more than once, said Dave and Mike, even if this involves inserting metal into their buttocks. 13:12.380 --> 13:13.721 You know, this is a fun idea. 13:13.901 --> 13:16.583 It's a fun idea, but I'm not going for it. 13:16.643 --> 13:19.466 It's totally impractical to insert metal into the butox. 13:19.506 --> 13:21.067 Just quickly, I'd say it can be done. 13:21.107 --> 13:23.949 That kind of quick surgery is practiced by the NHS all the time. 13:23.989 --> 13:24.790 No, no, no. 13:24.830 --> 13:25.891 Plus I like going to the loo. 13:26.731 --> 13:26.912 All right. 13:27.752 --> 13:31.015 People must clap and cheer when the film certificate is shown at the beginning of the film to show their excitement. 13:31.315 --> 13:33.797 That's a kind of retro thing that people used to do in the past. 13:33.817 --> 13:34.458 They've stopped doing. 13:34.618 --> 13:35.478 We're going to force people to. 13:35.679 --> 13:35.919 Yes. 13:35.979 --> 13:36.139 Yeah. 13:36.399 --> 13:40.583 Cinema passport, you receive a stamp every time you see a film so you can show off about the films you've seen. 13:40.603 --> 13:40.983 What do you think? 13:41.003 --> 13:41.663 You don't like that. 13:41.683 --> 13:42.544 I'm not so sure about that. 13:42.564 --> 13:43.044 That's a bit positive. 13:43.105 --> 13:44.866 I don't like passports at all in general. 13:44.906 --> 13:45.346 It's going out. 13:45.607 --> 13:49.390 Cinema should provide armrests for each seat to avoid elbow jostling. 13:49.410 --> 13:50.050 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 13:50.530 --> 13:50.991 I'm worried. 13:51.011 --> 13:52.932 I think we're going to crash the news. 13:53.473 --> 13:54.153 We've got two minutes. 13:55.354 --> 13:58.776 Coats on seats are acceptable, but those seats should be paid for. 13:59.296 --> 14:00.337 There isn't a name after this. 14:00.417 --> 14:04.499 This came in from a very opinionated listener who we suspected might be a cinema manager. 14:04.559 --> 14:06.160 A cinema manager who wants to make some extra money. 14:06.520 --> 14:07.180 No, that's not on it. 14:07.200 --> 14:07.700 It's coming off. 14:08.801 --> 14:11.982 Well, this means you've rejected three, so we've got to have all the rest. 14:12.083 --> 14:15.844 Seats should be assigned in height order, so tall people always sit at the back. 14:15.884 --> 14:16.505 That's from Robin Highsman. 14:16.525 --> 14:18.666 It doesn't have to be a ten-point plan, though, does it? 14:18.686 --> 14:20.647 Yes, from Church Crookum. 14:21.267 --> 14:22.128 So that has to go in. 14:23.149 --> 14:28.312 David Des Moines from Iowa in the USA says, no advertisements or previews before the movie starts. 14:28.352 --> 14:33.376 The movie will start at the stated time, not 15 minutes later after the previews and advertisements. 14:34.857 --> 14:35.678 What's he saying there? 14:35.778 --> 14:37.279 Is he banning trailers? 14:38.220 --> 14:39.040 Are you all right? 14:39.381 --> 14:42.743 Yeah, I'm just looking at his message and thinking about it with my mind. 14:44.144 --> 14:44.504 I don't know. 14:45.645 --> 14:46.966 We don't know what he'd say. 14:47.467 --> 14:48.848 Hey, here is someone called Tron. 14:49.388 --> 14:58.196 Tron Halstvet, formerly of Glasgow, now in Q8, says there should be a brief signal to identify that this is the last big important scene. 14:58.656 --> 15:04.741 This will help with confusing forward-slash-crap films and also gives you an appropriate bladder release countdown. 15:06.362 --> 15:07.683 Ah, this is confusing, isn't it? 15:08.183 --> 15:13.265 I think he's talking about a sort of klaxon going off when an important scene happens, so you can pay attention. 15:13.785 --> 15:14.306 Yep, yep. 15:14.326 --> 15:16.066 Would you have that klaxon go off? 15:16.086 --> 15:16.607 No, I think... No! 15:20.037 --> 15:23.098 Listen, should we go to the news and come back to this? 15:23.458 --> 15:25.318 No, there's no way we're coming back to this. 15:25.338 --> 15:26.218 Are you insane? 15:26.598 --> 15:27.139 That's great. 15:27.179 --> 15:29.099 Thanks very much for all your suggestions. 15:29.159 --> 15:30.699 That's the end of our plan. 15:30.719 --> 15:32.040 It doesn't have to be a 10-point plan. 15:32.080 --> 15:34.940 It's a brilliant cinema manifesto and we appreciate all your help. 15:34.960 --> 15:37.781 Listen, we'll tidy this up and stick it on the blog and tidy it up for you. 15:37.801 --> 15:45.323 We've got to stand down, Black Squadron, and then we'll go straight into the news at 9.30 here on BBC 6 Music. 15:49.909 --> 16:02.876 I was just saying while that was playing, there's a lot of longers in that song. 16:02.896 --> 16:05.738 I mean, that's a brilliant classic song, Roxy Music, Love is the Drug, right? 16:06.118 --> 16:14.524 But still, there's like long sections that if I was the editor in there, if I was producing that, I'd just say, listen, no one's going to mind if we just nip that bit out. 16:14.724 --> 16:16.084 What, bits when he's not singing? 16:16.425 --> 16:16.945 When he's going... 16:19.201 --> 16:32.482 yeah i mean are you applying are you applying your song wars mind to that because you couldn't really get away with that in the song wars could you no absolutely you'd have to you have to think i'm gonna lose them if i if i spend 16 bars just go oh 16:33.131 --> 16:36.114 But that's the difference between a real song and our songs. 16:36.615 --> 16:38.797 In real songs you can get away with that kind of thing. 16:39.398 --> 16:43.002 In our songs you think, well I gotta be imparting some sort of information. 16:43.022 --> 16:44.063 But this is what I'm saying. 16:44.304 --> 16:46.426 Even Brian Ferry is not allowed. 16:46.967 --> 16:48.408 That level of indulgence. 16:48.869 --> 16:49.750 Oh come along. 16:50.070 --> 16:50.791 That's rubbish isn't it? 16:50.951 --> 16:51.791 Yeah, it's rubbish. 16:51.831 --> 16:53.671 He can, he can OO-ers, whenever. 16:53.691 --> 16:54.792 He can do whatever he wants. 16:54.952 --> 16:55.732 In a lounge suit. 16:56.152 --> 16:56.452 Yeah. 16:56.792 --> 16:57.712 Yeah, I don't know what I'm saying. 16:57.732 --> 17:00.633 I thought it sounded lovely and it was integral to the structure of the song. 17:00.653 --> 17:01.853 Listen, I absolutely love the song. 17:01.873 --> 17:05.453 I'm not bringing it, actually I am bringing it down, aren't I? 17:05.513 --> 17:10.574 Supergrass, not supergrass, but hot rats do a cover of that track on their forthcoming album. 17:10.614 --> 17:11.815 Are you saying they do it better? 17:11.835 --> 17:13.735 Do they cut out the errs? 17:15.315 --> 17:17.836 If they don't, then you haven't got a leg to stand on. 17:18.076 --> 17:18.936 No, I don't, do I? 17:19.556 --> 17:20.736 That wouldn't be the first time, though. 17:21.207 --> 17:21.447 No. 17:21.668 --> 17:23.409 I'm more or less hobbling around without a leg to stand on. 17:23.429 --> 17:24.370 Yeah, your peg leg buckles. 17:24.630 --> 17:25.751 Peg leg buckles? 17:25.771 --> 17:27.152 Here comes peg leg buckles. 17:27.332 --> 17:29.153 I've got no leg to stand on! 17:31.355 --> 17:32.536 Yeah, he's only got one leg to stand on. 17:32.556 --> 17:34.657 This is how this film's going on too long! 17:34.997 --> 17:38.860 If he's ever trying to make a point, you just kick the peg leg away and he falls over. 17:42.023 --> 17:44.044 It's supposed to be the best film ever, mate. 17:44.284 --> 17:45.085 I don't think so. 17:45.205 --> 17:46.506 I want to cut out the middle bit. 17:46.966 --> 17:47.206 Why? 17:47.647 --> 17:48.067 I don't know. 17:48.087 --> 17:49.548 I haven't got a leg to stand on. 17:49.728 --> 17:50.249 Kick the leg. 17:51.184 --> 17:53.286 So listen, how did you get on with your song wars this week? 17:54.807 --> 17:55.707 Well, I did it. 17:55.807 --> 18:03.513 I mean, the thing about song wars is that it's just, it's not so much the actual man hours that go into the song, it's the psychological pressure. 18:03.533 --> 18:05.334 The psychological pain, yeah. 18:05.374 --> 18:07.956 Yeah, it squats on your psyche the whole week. 18:07.976 --> 18:10.178 When did you complete yours? 18:10.638 --> 18:11.559 Last night at midnight. 18:11.859 --> 18:12.319 Really? 18:12.359 --> 18:12.540 Yeah. 18:13.360 --> 18:16.681 If you're a new listener to the show, we make these Song Wars songs during the week. 18:16.721 --> 18:20.803 We decide on the theme, well, in last week's show, so we've had exactly a week. 18:21.583 --> 18:23.004 And you know, we've both got jobs. 18:23.364 --> 18:23.564 Yeah. 18:23.864 --> 18:25.425 Yeah, this is just a hobby, really. 18:25.745 --> 18:26.425 We've both got jobs. 18:26.486 --> 18:27.626 One of us has even got a family. 18:27.906 --> 18:28.226 Yeah. 18:28.686 --> 18:31.468 So it's very hard to get the songwriting in. 18:31.588 --> 18:31.808 Yeah. 18:32.788 --> 18:33.729 But we managed it, right? 18:33.789 --> 18:34.249 How about you? 18:34.989 --> 18:38.370 Well, I finished mine at about nine last night, ten last night. 18:38.390 --> 18:38.750 Confident? 18:39.230 --> 18:42.251 I said, I basically decreed that I would watch Crank 2. 18:42.651 --> 18:43.012 Oh, right. 18:43.032 --> 18:43.872 I will watch Crank 2! 18:45.812 --> 18:47.373 But no, I'm not confident at all. 18:47.473 --> 18:47.793 You know. 18:48.053 --> 18:48.253 No. 18:48.333 --> 18:48.973 Not just saying that. 18:49.173 --> 18:50.154 I'm not just saying it. 18:50.994 --> 18:56.616 I think, put it this way, if my song didn't exist within the context of Song Wars, there's no way 18:57.336 --> 19:24.709 it would ever its existence would be justified at all right do you know what i mean there's no reason it would exist do you think it's actually negatively occupying space possibly yes do you think actually existence is utterly utterly offensive yeah and wasteful yeah it's a waste of my time it's a waste of time on the program it's thematically a waste i think it's destructive towards the subjects that are mentioned in it how could we get rid of it 19:25.609 --> 19:44.083 like you'd have to you'd have to get rid of first of all you had your own collider I don't know you'd have to do some kind of antimatter thing to get rid of first of all you get rid of all the files you have to have some kind of eternal sunshine of the spotless mind style mind wipe to get rid of the any tune that might be in there and then something would go wrong and I'd be trapped in the song or something yeah 19:44.603 --> 19:52.608 Anyway, you can find out whether that level of alarm is justified after 10 o'clock when we unveil our song war songs about baths. 19:53.168 --> 19:54.909 But right now, here's some real music. 19:55.069 --> 19:59.792 This is LaRue with her crazy hair and a track called I'm Not Your Toy. 20:01.073 --> 20:01.553 Yeah! 20:01.674 --> 20:03.255 That's LaRue with... Sand of the 80s. 20:03.515 --> 20:04.515 I'm not your toy. 20:04.535 --> 20:07.037 Do you think if that was released in the 80s it would chart? 20:07.317 --> 20:10.679 Do you think if that was released in... like when were Yazoo number one with only you? 20:10.719 --> 20:12.040 Was that 82 or something? 20:12.060 --> 20:12.681 81, 82, yeah. 20:12.721 --> 20:16.924 Do you think if LaRue was up against Yazoo LaRue she would win it? 20:16.944 --> 20:18.645 That's a very, very good question. 20:18.665 --> 20:27.951 Or do you think she would be, you know, completely overwhelmed by the purity and, you know, genuine novelty of 80s, uh, plink plonk music? 20:28.691 --> 20:41.279 uh certainly it's quite it's a more complicated yes or no complex yes or no answer me yes yes she would what what yes or no it wasn't really a yes or no question i don't know 20:44.070 --> 20:46.271 You're feeling very weak, poor on that. 20:46.352 --> 20:48.593 I've got a cold run out of medicated tissues. 20:48.613 --> 20:49.974 Count Buckley's is under the weather. 20:50.014 --> 20:52.415 I just got like a small pack of medicated tissues. 20:52.436 --> 20:53.216 You know what, Count Buckley's? 20:53.236 --> 20:53.896 I should have got a big one. 20:54.017 --> 20:56.378 You do a brilliant cold and flu advert. 20:56.718 --> 20:56.938 Yeah. 20:57.199 --> 21:00.021 In your cape, like Count Dracula, but your Count Buckley's. 21:00.101 --> 21:00.401 Right. 21:00.741 --> 21:01.622 And you've got a cold. 21:02.162 --> 21:02.382 Uh-huh. 21:02.682 --> 21:04.103 And I keep sneezing on my victims. 21:04.203 --> 21:04.964 Yes, exactly. 21:05.424 --> 21:07.225 And they're going, oh, that's disgusting. 21:07.806 --> 21:09.767 I'm going to drink out of it. 21:09.807 --> 21:10.527 Excuse me. 21:11.528 --> 21:15.530 And people love vampires in cold and flu adverts. 21:15.630 --> 21:17.852 And then you take the remedy and it's fine. 21:18.352 --> 21:20.934 And then you suck a lady's blood out of her neck. 21:22.194 --> 21:24.376 You know, I just thought of a revolting spin on it. 21:24.896 --> 21:28.918 You could have a vampire that sucks snot out of people's noses. 21:29.218 --> 21:30.919 You know, like you have to do for babies, right? 21:30.940 --> 21:31.620 Thanks for revolting. 21:31.680 --> 21:32.821 Well, hang on a second. 21:32.841 --> 21:34.021 Well, you've discussed this before. 21:34.041 --> 21:35.562 You don't have to suck. 21:36.143 --> 21:36.903 What do you do then? 21:36.923 --> 21:39.685 How do you get snot out of a baby's nose if that's what you do? 21:40.405 --> 21:41.726 What, you put your mouth over it? 21:41.806 --> 21:44.267 In the olden days you would just put your mouth over it. 21:44.307 --> 21:45.308 You've done it. 21:45.408 --> 21:46.589 Now they've got tubes. 21:46.609 --> 21:49.070 There's tubes kind of like bongs. 21:49.230 --> 21:50.791 I don't know if you've ever come across a bong. 21:50.991 --> 21:51.692 It's easy. 21:51.912 --> 21:53.032 Do you not know how to do that? 21:53.853 --> 21:54.893 You just blow up the bottom. 21:56.334 --> 21:59.296 The baby's bottom and it fires out. 21:59.336 --> 22:00.157 Don't do that. 22:00.397 --> 22:04.139 Listen, there might be some really thick parents listening and they try it. 22:04.159 --> 22:06.080 Come on, there aren't any thick parents in Britain. 22:06.141 --> 22:07.621 No, that's true, especially not listening to this show. 22:08.222 --> 22:13.445 But no, you don't obviously blow up the baby's bottom, but you do have to suck out the snot somehow sometimes. 22:13.925 --> 22:18.188 But you can get special tubes, medicated tubes, that kind of convey the snot to a centrist. 22:18.228 --> 22:20.850 But you can say otherwise that would explain your illnesses. 22:21.030 --> 22:24.072 Yeah, a non-stop diet of baby snot. 22:24.592 --> 22:25.653 That's a charming thought, isn't it? 22:25.954 --> 22:29.598 But I was thinking, like, we got into this because the vampire could maybe do something similar. 22:29.618 --> 22:29.898 Yes. 22:30.278 --> 22:31.059 That's a good idea. 22:31.079 --> 22:31.820 That's a good idea. 22:31.840 --> 22:33.122 We'll jot that down on the ideas list. 22:33.922 --> 22:34.883 It is a very good idea, isn't it? 22:34.903 --> 22:36.145 Pop it in the idea bank. 22:36.926 --> 22:37.266 What now? 22:39.168 --> 22:39.849 Is it boggins? 22:40.710 --> 22:43.633 Oh, boggins, the Adam and Jo dogs are bounding into the studio. 22:44.153 --> 22:45.014 Full of vim and vigour. 22:45.655 --> 22:46.176 Here, boggins. 22:47.157 --> 22:47.818 Oh, Boggins. 22:47.978 --> 22:49.279 It's all right if I lick your face. 22:50.000 --> 22:52.582 I don't understand what Boggins is saying because he's a dog. 22:52.602 --> 23:00.488 He's, of course, he makes, he says, I don't know why I've gone Australian, but he says things that sound a little bit like human speech, but you really can't understand it. 23:00.508 --> 23:01.809 He's gonna say something again. 23:02.350 --> 23:02.610 Sausage. 23:02.790 --> 23:03.091 Sausage. 23:03.111 --> 23:04.792 Sausage. 23:05.092 --> 23:06.153 I bought some sausages. 23:06.173 --> 23:06.994 I don't know what he's saying. 23:07.014 --> 23:07.754 I've eaten a rat. 23:07.975 --> 23:08.595 He's lost it. 23:08.855 --> 23:09.496 I found a bird. 23:09.736 --> 23:11.878 Say something that sounds like words, Boggins. 23:12.099 --> 23:14.441 I ate a bird and then I rolled in poo. 23:15.903 --> 23:16.443 I'm sweet. 23:17.244 --> 23:17.785 No, nothing. 23:18.245 --> 23:20.147 So, Boggins is a little bit stinky. 23:20.427 --> 23:21.008 I ate a bird. 23:21.088 --> 23:21.929 Can I lick your face? 23:21.949 --> 23:22.950 I wonder if that's mud. 23:23.571 --> 23:24.492 Pat me, I love you. 23:24.552 --> 23:25.633 I'm going to bite your legs. 23:25.733 --> 23:28.236 A shame you can't talk, otherwise you could tell us whether it was mud. 23:28.296 --> 23:29.156 Is that mud, Boggins? 23:30.118 --> 23:31.099 Part mud, part poo. 23:31.119 --> 23:32.100 Just sniff a bit of it. 23:33.580 --> 23:34.101 Oh, dear. 23:34.141 --> 23:35.763 It's been on there for a while. 23:36.083 --> 23:38.085 Can I lick your face and legs? 23:38.145 --> 23:39.407 I'm gonna bite your hand. 23:40.428 --> 23:40.528 Ow! 23:41.088 --> 23:44.672 Ah, so it's just playful, being playful, just playing. 23:44.692 --> 23:45.553 All right, come on, Boggins, out. 23:45.653 --> 23:46.034 Okay. 23:46.274 --> 23:46.855 Out, Boggins. 23:46.895 --> 23:47.936 Have you got a... Get out! 23:48.797 --> 23:49.357 Ow, Boggins! 23:54.142 --> 23:57.325 Have you got a briefer sprout? 23:58.546 --> 24:00.788 Is that alright? 24:01.468 --> 24:02.069 Do you mind that? 24:02.649 --> 24:03.570 Do you like that? 24:03.790 --> 24:04.050 Go on. 24:08.755 --> 24:11.957 As the Kings with Victoria, this is Adam and Joe on BBC Six Music. 24:12.217 --> 24:15.159 Count Buckhilly's listeners has quite a bad cold today. 24:15.179 --> 24:16.179 How are you feeling? 24:17.260 --> 24:18.961 I feel okay, like I'm over the worst. 24:19.001 --> 24:20.462 I'm over the aches and pains, right? 24:21.082 --> 24:24.104 But now I'm just in the snotty phase. 24:24.524 --> 24:25.404 Snotty phase? 24:25.605 --> 24:26.865 Snotty phase and coughing as well. 24:26.905 --> 24:28.666 Someone's gone out for some special tissues. 24:28.926 --> 24:31.128 Yeah, because I only got him a small pack of medicated tissues. 24:31.168 --> 24:32.308 I want a big pack! 24:33.369 --> 24:35.050 Listen, I was in HMV this week. 24:36.030 --> 24:39.571 The popular High Street music store, other High Street music stores are available. 24:39.651 --> 24:40.211 But not for long. 24:40.511 --> 24:42.792 And they just... What do you think it's going to close? 24:42.812 --> 24:43.532 It's all going to close, isn't it? 24:43.552 --> 24:44.072 It's all going to close. 24:44.632 --> 24:50.053 Well, in an attempt to keep it open, they had shipped in hundreds of new Beatles box sets. 24:50.473 --> 24:50.893 Oh, nice. 24:50.933 --> 24:52.274 Yeah, they came in during the week. 24:52.694 --> 24:58.055 And what they tend to do on Oxford Street in HMV is they pile them up just inside the doors. 24:58.775 --> 25:01.015 So you get this sort of weird cluster. 25:01.095 --> 25:03.536 I think I might have walked past the morning they were released. 25:04.156 --> 25:17.285 And you get a weird kind of cluster of hardcore Beatles fans, older gentlemen, all gathering around the Beatles box set, sort of picking them up, touching them, turning them around, examining them, deciding whether they can afford them. 25:17.525 --> 25:18.046 Exactly. 25:18.406 --> 25:21.708 Similar thing happened when they bought out the massive Neil Young box. 25:21.988 --> 25:22.289 Yes. 25:22.349 --> 25:25.911 Well, lots of Neil Young people came out of the woodwork and they were sniffing around. 25:26.011 --> 25:26.472 Sure they were. 25:26.492 --> 25:28.273 A lot of people just lived inside them for a while. 25:29.273 --> 25:33.695 But the Beatles have basically seized the Zeitgeist last week, didn't they? 25:34.275 --> 25:39.957 BBC put lots of Beatles programmes out and they tried to get us all to pay attention to the release of their box set. 25:40.457 --> 25:45.119 And I was watching one of the shopping channels, they were selling them on the shopping channels as well. 25:45.659 --> 25:48.200 And there was a woman really going hell for leather about how 25:48.840 --> 25:50.181 Essential these purchases. 25:50.221 --> 25:55.283 Well, you know, yeah, cuz what is it the first time they've been digitally remastered or something? 25:55.323 --> 25:56.264 It can't be the first time. 25:56.524 --> 25:56.884 What is it? 25:56.924 --> 25:58.025 What's new about them? 25:58.225 --> 25:58.805 I think so. 25:58.865 --> 26:13.413 Apparently it's the first time that they have Gone back and cleaned up the masters right got rid of all You know a few little glitches here and there and they've basically done a whole new pristine digital reprogram programming job on them 26:13.533 --> 26:18.339 Well, she spends about 20 minutes convincing me that I need to buy the remastered Beatles box seat. 26:18.799 --> 26:27.689 And then she does a switcheroo, the camera pans to the right, and she's got specially new released mono versions of all the albums as well, and she's going now. 26:28.650 --> 26:36.073 If you've already got them digitally remastered, you will be amazed by the quality, but of course it's not how they were originally intended to be heard. 26:36.773 --> 26:43.836 These are the original mono recordings exactly as Lennon and McCartney intended you to hear them. 26:44.256 --> 26:46.997 So she does another 20 minutes about having to have the mono ones. 26:47.077 --> 26:50.079 Also it's not how they intended you to hear them, it's just... That's what she said. 26:50.139 --> 26:50.379 Right. 26:51.019 --> 26:54.200 It's just how they happened to come out with the technology that was available at the time. 26:54.240 --> 26:54.920 I'm confused. 26:55.180 --> 26:57.360 I'm not going to buy either, but I don't know which one to buy. 26:57.380 --> 27:04.342 I don't know if I would be... I don't really care about buying the new remastered ones, I must say, because I've got them. 27:04.362 --> 27:08.703 And then I've read lots of articles about, oh, the base range is much more impressive now. 27:08.763 --> 27:16.785 And they fixed the dropout on, she said, she said in the, you know, two minutes 58 or whatever it was. 27:17.645 --> 27:18.605 I don't think that's true. 27:19.165 --> 27:23.007 That would be a lot of Beatles fans going, there's no dropout at 2 minutes 58, and she said, she said. 27:23.487 --> 27:24.427 But you know that kind of thing. 27:24.447 --> 27:25.108 I'm not fussed. 27:25.648 --> 27:32.651 I got used to the versions that came out when they came out originally and the ones I bought on CD the first time around when they were available. 27:32.691 --> 27:34.312 It's confusing, isn't it? 27:34.332 --> 27:39.994 Because if it was a film, you kind of want the sound to be remastered, but you don't really want the picture to be messed with. 27:40.114 --> 27:43.557 Did you ever have a... You want it as clear as possible, but you don't want it retouched. 27:43.777 --> 27:43.957 No. 27:44.097 --> 27:45.478 Or added to or anything, do you? 27:45.518 --> 27:48.841 Yeah, but the movies are way ahead of the record business in that respect. 27:49.021 --> 27:51.203 I mean, directors have been messing with their work for years. 27:51.763 --> 27:52.384 They led the way. 27:52.644 --> 27:53.304 They really did. 27:53.324 --> 27:55.686 And you think it's only just beginning with the music industry. 27:55.706 --> 28:03.993 Well, if you imagine the level of fiddling that, say, Steven Spielberg did with E.T., if you applied that to an album like High Door Fiddling... 28:04.093 --> 28:04.553 You know what I mean? 28:04.573 --> 28:14.256 Like, if someone like Bowie went back and started doing that level of fiddling on any one of his classic 70s albums, tweaking lyrics, adding a little solo here, that would be outrageous. 28:14.476 --> 28:15.476 Has anyone ever done that? 28:15.496 --> 28:17.236 No, because it would be pointless. 28:17.256 --> 28:18.297 I think we should do it for Song Wars. 28:18.397 --> 28:18.777 You reckon? 28:18.957 --> 28:20.717 Yeah, I think we should remaster some tracks. 28:20.817 --> 28:22.338 Isn't that a good idea for Song Wars? 28:22.558 --> 28:23.098 Yeah, I guess. 28:23.198 --> 28:24.998 We could take the original and add to it. 28:25.018 --> 28:25.418 Uh-huh. 28:25.939 --> 28:26.179 Yeah? 28:26.199 --> 28:27.399 All right, let's do that next. 28:27.819 --> 28:28.259 OK. 28:28.399 --> 28:30.440 But we're going to... OK. 28:30.460 --> 28:37.724 We're going to unveil what we did do for this week's song wars in about 10 minutes or so here on BBC Six Music. 28:37.764 --> 28:40.325 But before that, here's Empire of the Sun, mate. 28:40.465 --> 28:41.666 Oh, great, mate. 28:41.806 --> 28:42.266 You know what? 28:42.306 --> 28:42.946 I love this one. 28:43.127 --> 28:43.527 I love this one. 28:43.667 --> 28:46.508 Because he just gets on a grove, right? 28:46.568 --> 28:47.128 Absolutely. 28:47.148 --> 28:50.510 He gets on a grove and he just serves the grove. 28:50.630 --> 28:51.050 I love surfing. 28:51.190 --> 28:52.631 I love surfing, don't you? 28:53.412 --> 28:56.213 This is called Walking on a Dream, and that's what it's about. 28:57.520 --> 29:01.341 It's about what happens when you walk on a dream, mate. 29:01.361 --> 29:02.882 So you're having a dream, right? 29:02.942 --> 29:03.782 Terribly fragile. 29:04.182 --> 29:06.763 And you have the dream, and you're asleep. 29:06.803 --> 29:07.444 You're having a dream. 29:07.484 --> 29:08.964 You can't have a waking dream. 29:09.965 --> 29:11.385 There has to be when you're asleep. 29:11.865 --> 29:14.506 And then you start walking on it. 29:14.646 --> 29:15.367 And it's nice. 29:15.407 --> 29:17.687 It feels nice, because it's a nice, soft dream. 29:18.027 --> 29:19.388 But then what if it's a night? 29:20.459 --> 29:20.940 Oh, mate. 29:21.020 --> 29:22.701 And you fall through the dream. 29:22.741 --> 29:23.481 What a nightmare. 29:23.501 --> 29:27.244 Your foot gets stuck in the dream and you can't carry on walking. 29:27.284 --> 29:29.125 You trip over on the dream. 29:29.165 --> 29:31.887 You hurt your elbow on maybe the corner of the dream. 29:31.947 --> 29:33.048 I'd have to sue the dream. 29:33.368 --> 29:34.009 Exactly. 29:34.109 --> 29:36.190 Have you been injured in a dream? 29:36.470 --> 29:39.873 Have you tripped or fallen in a dream while you were walking? 29:40.633 --> 29:41.834 Contact who? 29:42.334 --> 29:43.315 Who do I contact? 29:43.375 --> 29:52.942 You contact the people that have done that song Empire of the Sun Contact Empire of the Sun They're dream lawyers Are they? 29:53.162 --> 30:04.470 Yes, they tell me mate Yes, they deal with all the litigation No it's not a joke I'm trying to mess with my mind I'm not trying to mess with your mind mate It's not a joke 30:04.830 --> 30:05.510 I don't understand. 30:05.590 --> 30:07.891 It was about walking on dreams. 30:08.011 --> 30:09.152 Will you listen to me? 30:09.212 --> 30:10.473 I'm trying to explain. 30:11.093 --> 30:13.254 It's about they deal with dreams. 30:13.894 --> 30:19.277 Walking on them, they deal with dream litigation and they dream construction. 30:19.997 --> 30:24.279 You know, they've got to be properly built otherwise you can't walk on it. 30:24.339 --> 30:25.319 I'm exhausted now. 30:25.339 --> 30:26.740 You've exhausted me, mate. 30:26.780 --> 30:29.681 Get your surfboard and go do a bit of surfing. 30:29.701 --> 30:29.881 I will. 30:29.901 --> 30:31.062 Because you are really wound up. 30:31.082 --> 30:32.723 I'm totally racked up now. 30:33.263 --> 30:35.165 You ratcheted me right up in there. 30:35.225 --> 30:36.045 Go and surf, mate. 30:36.105 --> 30:36.826 I am gonna go and surf. 30:36.846 --> 30:37.947 It's the only thing that'll cure it. 30:38.267 --> 30:38.707 Yeah. 30:39.168 --> 30:40.669 Meanwhile, what are you gonna do? 30:40.689 --> 30:46.673 I'm gonna, um... That was obviously a cue for you to say. 30:46.874 --> 30:48.515 Meanwhile, I'm gonna launch Texanation. 30:48.595 --> 30:51.257 Yeah, but I'm not the one who made up the subject, so I can't. 30:51.757 --> 30:52.498 I didn't make it. 30:52.678 --> 30:53.819 Come on, let's just do the jingle. 30:57.771 --> 30:58.971 Text text, text the nation. 30:59.031 --> 31:00.012 What if I don't want to? 31:00.232 --> 31:00.972 Text the nation. 31:01.072 --> 31:02.072 But I'm using email. 31:02.253 --> 31:02.993 Is that a problem? 31:03.013 --> 31:05.954 It doesn't matter, text! 31:06.334 --> 31:11.155 Yes, listeners, it's text the nation time here on the Adam and Jo radio show on BBC6 Music. 31:11.195 --> 31:15.537 This is the part of the show where we give you a theme, a talk topic. 31:15.637 --> 31:15.797 Yeah. 31:16.317 --> 31:17.217 Yeah, a chat point. 31:17.878 --> 31:22.839 And you contribute your opinions and reactions via our text number, which is 64046. 31:25.160 --> 31:25.500 Correct. 31:25.820 --> 31:44.286 Yeah, or you could email us if you're listening to this show during the week as well Then you have to email us you can't text us and the email is Adam and Joe dot six music at BBC dot co dot UK now we're gonna keep the Explanation or the setup for text donation this week very brief right? 31:44.306 --> 31:49.208 This is gonna be the briefest of all the setups names for body parts 31:50.308 --> 31:50.529 Right? 31:50.749 --> 31:51.109 Like it. 31:51.329 --> 31:52.710 Pet names for body parts. 31:53.750 --> 31:56.192 What do you mean you might give them a name like a person? 31:56.852 --> 31:57.453 Like Alfred? 31:58.213 --> 31:59.053 Or John Thomas? 31:59.314 --> 31:59.954 Maybe you might. 32:00.474 --> 32:03.616 Yeah, I mean the obvious place to start is in the groinal zone, right? 32:03.956 --> 32:06.158 And that's by no means where we should remain. 32:06.198 --> 32:07.538 I would like to make it perfectly clear. 32:07.578 --> 32:14.362 In fact, we would like you, if you can, to tell us about the other names for the other body parts that you have. 32:14.863 --> 32:17.824 Don't just stay in the... Underwear area. 32:17.924 --> 32:18.805 In the Congo there. 32:19.125 --> 32:42.806 underwear yeah because that's no good but while we are in that area in the congo yeah like in isn't it shaped that way the congo i don't know i don't know what i'm talking about um so like for example um with children especially you know when you're a little chap your mum refers to your little chap um gives it a special name right 32:43.707 --> 32:44.148 Mm-hmm. 32:44.468 --> 32:45.188 Why are you looking white? 32:45.208 --> 32:46.629 I was trying to think. 32:46.770 --> 32:47.470 What was your one? 32:47.690 --> 32:48.171 I don't know. 32:48.211 --> 32:48.891 I'm trying to think. 32:49.091 --> 32:51.073 Well, my mum is from Chile, right? 32:51.593 --> 32:54.035 So she used a Spanish word, birulo. 32:54.055 --> 32:54.175 Right. 32:54.795 --> 32:55.976 What does that mean? 32:56.056 --> 32:59.839 Well, the actual literal translation happens to be knob. 33:00.920 --> 33:03.442 But it's like, you know, for a button or a dial. 33:03.622 --> 33:04.483 Yeah, that kind of thing. 33:04.563 --> 33:07.305 But she applied it across the language barrier. 33:09.006 --> 33:10.927 Do a button or a knob. 33:10.967 --> 33:12.527 Yeah, in a sort of endearing way. 33:12.828 --> 33:13.488 A dial. 33:15.189 --> 33:26.474 And I think that was the only one that... Extraordinary inhalation of breath. 33:26.614 --> 33:27.675 Having a breakdown. 33:29.696 --> 33:32.977 It's because that's all I've got. 33:35.686 --> 33:36.787 That's all there is. 33:37.267 --> 33:39.208 That's all there is for text translation. 33:39.589 --> 33:40.789 Just that one word. 33:42.110 --> 33:44.071 Say it again. 33:44.331 --> 33:45.872 P-I-R-U-L-A. 33:46.212 --> 33:46.572 Hello. 33:46.953 --> 33:56.018 Well, having encouraged people to stay out of the Congo, your one example is very Congo Central. 33:56.038 --> 33:56.578 I know. 33:56.658 --> 33:58.679 I'm hoping that other P-R-O-L-A. 34:00.901 --> 34:05.003 You're hoping that other people will have little pet names, areas of their body. 34:05.063 --> 34:15.789 The Congo area is a place where you need to have non-rude names, so I think that people are more likely to have made up names for, you know, dangerous areas. 34:15.809 --> 34:18.530 I guess I'm thinking Congo because it's sort of dark and jungly, right? 34:18.590 --> 34:23.793 Does anyone like name their hands, or their arms, or their legs, or their neebles? 34:24.654 --> 34:25.895 Well, now you put it like that. 34:26.315 --> 34:26.915 What, neebles? 34:27.315 --> 34:27.756 Neebles! 34:28.636 --> 34:44.260 it's like weebles yeah yeah yeah uh tootsies you're tootsies of course now we're coming with tootsies it's gonna be sony nomination time again soon so 34:47.401 --> 34:52.525 Text in your alternative names for your body parts. 34:52.905 --> 34:53.585 This is good, man. 34:53.605 --> 34:55.327 This is gonna really come around. 34:55.427 --> 34:57.688 We've got our doubts about this, but give it a hand. 34:57.708 --> 34:59.109 Here's how it might work, right? 34:59.229 --> 35:02.392 Just to travel you into the future a little bit. 35:04.633 --> 35:07.855 Dan in Clapham says that he calls his elbow... 35:10.557 --> 35:13.439 El... El... El... Garvey. 35:13.479 --> 35:14.060 Guy Garvey. 35:16.201 --> 35:18.043 That's an example of a good one we might get in. 35:18.083 --> 35:18.283 Yeah. 35:18.623 --> 35:19.984 But you made that one up, obviously. 35:20.004 --> 35:21.205 I haven't had much time to think. 35:21.285 --> 35:21.485 No. 35:21.766 --> 35:23.407 Listeners have got lots of time to think. 35:24.067 --> 35:24.448 Exactly. 35:24.888 --> 35:25.548 So there we go. 35:25.588 --> 35:26.829 Give your ideas to us. 35:27.950 --> 35:32.975 In texts via 64046 or the email adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 35:33.255 --> 35:34.896 We're gonna do song wars very soon. 35:34.956 --> 35:35.197 Yeah. 35:35.457 --> 35:35.617 Right? 35:35.657 --> 35:36.338 That's proper content. 35:36.358 --> 35:37.559 This is a feature that we've worked out. 35:37.579 --> 35:38.159 It's all pre-prepared. 35:38.179 --> 35:38.820 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 35:38.840 --> 35:39.521 It's all gonna be fine. 35:39.541 --> 35:43.124 That's why everything else is so rope, because all the energy's gone into the wars. 35:43.204 --> 35:43.644 Exactly. 35:43.965 --> 35:44.525 Here's Blur. 35:44.645 --> 35:45.446 With girls and boys. 35:47.728 --> 35:49.810 It's time for song wars. 35:50.350 --> 35:51.792 The war of the songs. 36:02.662 --> 36:06.825 I mean, that's like a LaRue song right there. 36:06.925 --> 36:07.585 It is, isn't it? 36:07.605 --> 36:08.406 Yeah. 36:08.466 --> 36:10.387 It's too rich, though, for it to be LaRue. 36:10.447 --> 36:13.669 If she was doing her harmonies on there, that could be her next single. 36:13.749 --> 36:14.430 That's true. 36:14.570 --> 36:18.112 And it's just the jingle for this segment, which is called Song Wars. 36:18.252 --> 36:19.293 Pretty self-explanatory. 36:19.333 --> 36:22.355 Joe and I have composed songs on a theme. 36:22.395 --> 36:24.696 We've made the songs ourselves, such as they are. 36:25.337 --> 36:27.358 And we're going to flip a coin now to see which one goes first. 36:27.398 --> 36:30.380 But Joe, tell the listeners once again what the theme was this week. 36:30.560 --> 36:31.901 The theme was bath time. 36:32.561 --> 36:34.282 We had a listener suggest it, didn't we? 36:34.362 --> 36:38.744 James, the producer, are you totally on your toes ready with the name of that listener? 36:38.825 --> 36:39.005 No. 36:39.345 --> 36:40.585 We're all a bit sluggish this week. 36:40.706 --> 36:42.186 Sorry about that. 36:42.266 --> 36:43.607 He was name checked last week. 36:43.647 --> 36:44.628 I think it was a gentleman. 36:44.768 --> 36:44.988 Yeah. 36:45.148 --> 36:49.991 But he wanted a song for his bath time periods to make it nice for him to go to the bath. 36:51.191 --> 36:52.112 So, is that what you've done? 36:52.632 --> 36:57.336 Well, I mean, he could listen to this song conceivably that I've done while he's in the bath. 36:57.356 --> 36:58.937 But your song's about bath time. 36:59.217 --> 37:03.780 Yeah, yeah, it is about... Well, my song specifically is about cleaning up a dirty girl. 37:04.561 --> 37:04.901 It is? 37:05.201 --> 37:05.401 Yeah. 37:05.902 --> 37:06.982 That sounds good. 37:07.303 --> 37:07.523 You know? 37:08.664 --> 37:09.244 What's yours about? 37:09.684 --> 37:14.528 Well, mine is a kind of song about David Bowie having a bath. 37:14.728 --> 37:15.288 Is it? 37:15.328 --> 37:15.588 Yeah. 37:15.809 --> 37:16.929 I was thinking about doing that. 37:16.969 --> 37:19.411 Well, not only were you thinking about it, but... I mentioned it on air. 37:19.431 --> 37:20.352 It was suggested, yeah. 37:20.712 --> 37:21.092 So why? 37:21.132 --> 37:24.373 So I think part of my brain thought that that was the task that was stuck in my head. 37:24.393 --> 37:24.713 Oh I see. 37:25.093 --> 37:26.073 Bowie having a bath. 37:26.774 --> 37:27.734 So yeah. 37:27.914 --> 37:28.654 Bowie bath. 37:29.314 --> 37:29.835 Good one. 37:30.015 --> 37:32.395 Well we're gonna flip a coin right now and see who goes first. 37:33.015 --> 37:35.296 It was Rufus Blacklock was the gentleman's name. 37:35.376 --> 37:35.716 Oh yeah. 37:35.796 --> 37:37.717 James he was the guy that came up with this theme. 37:37.737 --> 37:38.377 Thanks a lot Rufus. 37:38.397 --> 37:39.317 It was a good theme I thought. 37:39.757 --> 37:40.297 Yeah good theme. 37:40.437 --> 37:40.577 Yeah. 37:40.597 --> 37:41.158 Well done Rufus. 37:41.318 --> 37:41.658 Well done. 37:42.538 --> 37:43.298 So call it. 37:43.518 --> 37:44.238 What are you? 37:44.519 --> 37:46.679 I'll go for heads if it's heads I'll play mine first. 37:46.799 --> 37:47.579 Heads to go first. 37:47.659 --> 37:49.800 I kind of want to go first just to get it over with. 37:50.100 --> 37:51.961 It is... Tails. 37:52.142 --> 37:52.722 Tails. 37:52.822 --> 37:54.263 Not looking good for the cornballs. 37:54.523 --> 37:55.744 So cornballs go second. 37:55.784 --> 37:56.625 Yeah, you go first. 37:56.965 --> 37:57.906 Here is my song. 37:58.566 --> 38:02.049 I won't introduce it any more than to say it's called Special Bath. 38:09.738 --> 38:20.905 You're so dirty, I love your mucky mind But your body's all so filthy Which I weren't so pleased to find yourself fit But what's up with your personal hygiene? 38:20.965 --> 38:39.598 That's why you haven't had a boyfriend since you were 13 You have the matted hair of an Australian backpacker And in your pants last night I found some cheese and a cracker You say you don't like bathing cause you're frightened of the water But it's getting crazy girl, you know I really think 38:39.718 --> 38:40.917 I think you won't come 39:20.009 --> 39:28.685 Better tax our baby, that's my advice It's more convenient, you know I'll take the foreign end Cause I'm your special bar friend 39:45.674 --> 39:46.475 There we are. 39:46.775 --> 39:48.656 You see it's not so bad is it? 39:48.816 --> 39:49.697 It's nice. 39:50.157 --> 39:52.939 There's just a couple of rules you need to know before we go on. 40:51.864 --> 40:53.065 Oh, what happened at the end there? 40:53.205 --> 40:55.627 There's the water coming out of the plug. 40:55.747 --> 40:56.668 That's extraordinary. 40:56.788 --> 40:59.330 I'm very jealous of your vocoder technology there. 40:59.350 --> 41:00.351 It's not vocoder, mate. 41:00.431 --> 41:01.652 What have you got going on there? 41:01.812 --> 41:04.274 It's a pitch, what's it called? 41:04.314 --> 41:04.855 Pitch shift. 41:04.935 --> 41:05.675 Magic tuning. 41:06.136 --> 41:06.456 What is it? 41:06.536 --> 41:08.277 Is that a bit of software? 41:09.338 --> 41:14.462 On GarageBand, you just go into the tuning space and you can shift the... 41:15.623 --> 41:17.744 You can do auto-tune. 41:17.804 --> 41:22.607 But you're auto-tuning separate segments of the same phrase that you've sung. 41:22.647 --> 41:22.967 No, no, no. 41:22.987 --> 41:25.888 You just apply auto-tune to the vocal track. 41:26.469 --> 41:26.809 No. 41:27.329 --> 41:27.809 Simple as that. 41:27.949 --> 41:28.390 Do that. 41:28.410 --> 41:33.272 I mean, that's another one we could do because a lot of R&B has that sound on it now. 41:33.312 --> 41:33.932 Everyone has it. 41:34.013 --> 41:35.913 Kanye did a whole album with that, didn't he? 41:35.974 --> 41:36.854 Yeah, loads of it. 41:36.894 --> 41:37.494 Everyone does that. 41:37.634 --> 41:39.435 So I thought way past it. 41:39.455 --> 41:39.936 Well done. 41:40.076 --> 41:40.456 Thanks very much. 41:40.856 --> 41:41.457 I think that's good. 41:41.477 --> 41:43.058 I think you might have blown mine out of the water. 41:43.098 --> 41:43.739 Bit of two-step. 41:43.819 --> 41:44.640 Production-wise. 41:44.660 --> 41:45.060 You reckon? 41:45.300 --> 41:46.882 Yeah, mine's much more pedestrian. 41:47.442 --> 41:48.543 Uh, we'd better get it out of the way. 41:48.583 --> 41:53.928 This is just a song, uh, this is actually the song that Bowie sings when he's having a bath. 41:54.068 --> 41:54.389 Is it? 41:54.529 --> 41:54.809 Yeah. 41:55.049 --> 41:56.631 I mean, I know that sounds like a lie. 41:56.751 --> 41:57.992 So this is Bowie in the bath. 41:58.072 --> 41:58.653 But it's not. 41:59.053 --> 42:00.675 This is the song he sings when he's having a bath. 42:00.695 --> 42:01.335 What's it called, this song? 42:01.696 --> 42:03.157 It's called Bathtime for Bowie, of course. 42:03.177 --> 42:03.397 Oh, yeah. 42:03.617 --> 42:04.138 Yeah, here it is. 42:13.404 --> 42:35.109 Brushed off my feet, tonight I deserve a special treat I know a place I can be alone A private palace of enamel and crown A secret space where depths are spun And man and water livers one Of scented oils and shampoo A place that's just beside the loo Switch, blush, tonight's gonna be Bowie bath night 42:51.369 --> 43:01.779 If you want to take a bath, then please take my advice Be sure you don't drop off to sleep, cause it's so warm and nice Don't sit there staring into space, just fiddling with your winky 43:17.031 --> 43:42.439 Water's getting gradually more stinky Splish splosh I'm polishing up my glass spider Splosh splish I'm soaking my serious mood Splosh splish It's time to get out of the bathtub 43:51.334 --> 43:53.055 There we go, that's Song Wars for this week. 43:53.415 --> 43:54.716 Listeners, what's your one called? 43:55.076 --> 43:55.817 A special bath. 43:56.157 --> 43:58.979 It's special bath versus bath time for Bowie. 43:59.719 --> 44:01.280 And you email your vote, I think. 44:01.440 --> 44:04.602 Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 44:05.082 --> 44:07.223 It's only email votes, isn't it now, James? 44:07.604 --> 44:12.947 So if you're listening via Listen Again or the podcast, you can vote as well and we'll announce the winner. 44:13.627 --> 44:14.607 on next week's show. 44:39.395 --> 44:40.195 He said a bad word. 44:40.235 --> 44:41.135 He dead said a bad word. 44:41.396 --> 44:42.956 And he didn't do a radio version of it. 44:43.056 --> 44:44.056 I think they should, you know. 44:44.216 --> 44:45.377 I think, like, in Crete. 44:45.417 --> 44:46.217 To say a nicer one. 44:46.337 --> 44:51.038 Yeah, in Crete, they substitute the F-bomb for, what is it that he says? 44:51.578 --> 44:53.599 You're so very special. 44:54.039 --> 44:56.259 Instead of saying the F-word. 44:56.440 --> 44:57.520 You think they should put a non... 44:58.340 --> 45:00.962 I think it's just politeness to do so. 45:01.002 --> 45:03.144 You can't just leave it blank, you know? 45:03.164 --> 45:04.605 I mean, that's just ridiculous. 45:04.625 --> 45:07.588 People might imagine a worse word if you leave it blank. 45:07.648 --> 45:08.208 Exactly. 45:09.490 --> 45:10.971 What's worse than the F-bomb? 45:11.211 --> 45:13.973 I'll tell you during the next record. 45:14.053 --> 45:26.364 We were just speculating as well about the fact that if you go on our blog, you will see an amazing compilation that someone has done of all the moments where we talk about Bowie, because we are relatively Bowie-obsessed, I suppose. 45:26.824 --> 45:30.910 Although I suppose we you know like we're not we're not like the maddest Bowie fans in the world. 45:30.930 --> 45:41.845 We're not mental right we just really like him and the thing is that we would genuinely love to meet the guy and we've gone on about it on this show for sort of comedic 45:42.626 --> 46:00.496 gone back through the archives and taken all the bits of us ranting nonsense about Bowie and put them together into one kind of YouTube thing and James has put that on our blog which is at bbc.co.uk forward slash blogs forward slash Adam and Joe and it's completely insane and he'd be insane to come anywhere near us. 46:00.556 --> 46:04.178 If he heard it I mean he would he would immediately apply for a restraining order. 46:04.398 --> 46:09.063 Not to say that the work that the person has done who's put it together isn't very good. 46:09.523 --> 46:11.325 No, it's a fantastic editing job. 46:11.826 --> 46:18.032 But yes, I mean, if I was Bowie, I would just, I would think, well, there you go. 46:18.232 --> 46:22.016 I have to deal with a lot of these kinds of people, but I'm not going to go on their radio program. 46:22.256 --> 46:23.477 There's no way I'm going on their program. 46:23.497 --> 46:24.638 There's no way I'm going on that. 46:24.898 --> 46:26.279 Listen to the way they talk about me. 46:26.479 --> 46:27.780 It's absolutely disrespectful. 46:27.800 --> 46:28.420 They think I'm a joke. 46:28.721 --> 46:29.922 It's totally disrespectful. 46:30.302 --> 46:34.064 I've made some of the most influential music of the last two hundred years. 46:34.505 --> 46:38.207 And these two buffoons are talking about me as if I'm some kind of size show freak. 46:38.408 --> 46:39.248 These two biffins. 46:39.708 --> 46:41.210 These two absolute biffins. 46:41.230 --> 46:42.190 They're a couple of biffins. 46:43.811 --> 46:44.632 The tall biffen. 46:46.833 --> 46:50.274 He's done a song about me in the pub that's absolutely ludicrous. 46:50.594 --> 46:52.375 It's absolutely ludicrous. 46:52.395 --> 46:57.017 I don't call my parts my serious moon. 46:58.178 --> 47:00.579 If we carry on like this there's no way he's ever ever going to come anywhere. 47:00.619 --> 47:03.940 We were thinking that he might chat to us off there because you'd know we'd have to be normal. 47:03.960 --> 47:05.161 I don't think he even would do that. 47:06.081 --> 47:08.783 He would move into the corner of the room. 47:08.803 --> 47:09.203 How about this? 47:09.243 --> 47:09.704 How about this? 47:10.044 --> 47:14.807 Because it's obviously stupid for him to have any sort of live engagement with us on air because we can't be trusted. 47:14.827 --> 47:17.149 I mean, I don't trust us, so he shouldn't. 47:17.429 --> 47:19.191 So what about an email questionnaire? 47:20.271 --> 47:21.092 Yes, yes. 47:21.132 --> 47:21.733 Written a question. 47:21.773 --> 47:22.673 At a safe distance. 47:22.753 --> 47:23.274 At a safe distance. 47:23.294 --> 47:26.356 What if we write a series of questions that the listeners could help us formulate them? 47:26.496 --> 47:26.716 Yeah. 47:27.277 --> 47:29.718 Say five questions, five key Bowie questions. 47:29.778 --> 47:30.019 Always. 47:30.239 --> 47:31.079 This is okay. 47:31.139 --> 47:32.340 It's at a safe distance. 47:32.781 --> 47:34.402 I don't mind taking part in this. 47:34.682 --> 47:37.368 And we could just have an epistolary relationship. 47:37.408 --> 47:38.029 Yeah, that would do. 47:38.049 --> 47:39.052 That would work. 47:39.152 --> 47:40.114 Yeah, it is. 47:40.214 --> 47:40.775 Epistolic. 47:40.916 --> 47:43.561 Listen, folks, you're listening to Adam and Jo here on BBC 6 Music. 47:43.601 --> 47:45.265 It's just gone 10.30 and it's time for the... 47:45.745 --> 47:49.426 That's Prince the Purple Ponce with the ballad of Dorothy Parker. 47:49.446 --> 47:50.907 That's from the Sign of the Times album. 47:50.927 --> 47:55.969 That was a free play for you listeners, which I chose because it's kind of bath related, isn't it? 47:56.069 --> 48:02.391 I mean, took another bubble bath with my pants on, all the fat and stuff. 48:02.691 --> 48:04.112 I mean, it's a strange song. 48:04.132 --> 48:05.272 I don't know what he's going on there. 48:05.512 --> 48:08.953 It's a very elaborate seduction technique, isn't it? 48:09.013 --> 48:10.634 I don't know. 48:10.834 --> 48:12.995 I'd have to have listened to the lyrics properly. 48:13.135 --> 48:14.736 Yeah, it's a wonderful song, though. 48:15.116 --> 48:15.756 Hope you enjoyed it. 48:16.116 --> 48:21.018 And we will probably be playing our song wars songs once again towards the end of the show. 48:21.038 --> 48:22.139 In about an hour's time. 48:22.259 --> 48:22.939 In about an hour. 48:23.419 --> 48:25.260 So if you missed them, you'll get another chance to hear them then. 48:25.300 --> 48:27.661 But right now, we're in the midst of textination. 48:27.961 --> 48:29.722 Maybe the best textination we've ever done. 48:29.822 --> 48:30.642 So let's have to jingle. 48:35.837 --> 48:36.800 What if I don't want to? 48:37.402 --> 48:38.907 But I'm using email. 48:39.067 --> 48:39.749 Is that a problem? 48:43.112 --> 48:46.875 So Adam, remind us of the subject for Text the Nation this week. 48:47.415 --> 48:48.576 Well, Joe, it's very simple. 48:49.597 --> 48:53.559 We're just talking about pet names that you have for various body parts. 48:53.580 --> 48:56.562 You used your voiceover voice for the beginning of that sentence. 48:56.982 --> 49:02.146 And it really did make a little bit of my brain sort of think that you knew what you were talking about. 49:02.186 --> 49:03.066 You lifted it a little bit. 49:03.086 --> 49:03.967 You had authority. 49:04.207 --> 49:06.629 I saw Arthur Smith last night doing Gig. 49:06.869 --> 49:08.570 Oh, at least I was listening to him over the Tanoi. 49:08.590 --> 49:09.651 He was on after me. 49:09.711 --> 49:10.592 I did a gig in Greenwich. 49:11.403 --> 49:17.165 And one of the things he was saying was he's fed up when morning DJs sound all perky. 49:17.745 --> 49:22.827 And he said, you know, I'd like to hear a DJ that sounds the way you really feel in the morning. 49:22.847 --> 49:25.508 Like, oh, God, it's so early. 49:25.908 --> 49:27.008 I'm so depressed. 49:27.028 --> 49:28.769 So, you know, but you don't want that, do you? 49:28.789 --> 49:29.949 You want people to g you up. 49:29.969 --> 49:35.811 Well, if you want that, you listen to Vanessa Feltz or John Gawne to one of those furious 49:35.951 --> 49:45.398 early morning, anti-DJs, Feltz isn't furious, but you know one of the ones that gets you wound up about spurious things they've read in the paper that are probably inaccurate in the first place. 49:45.538 --> 49:50.182 But it's, you know, part of a DJ's job is to lift the mood a little bit, I think, don't you think? 49:50.222 --> 49:51.443 Well, you did it very well. 49:51.703 --> 49:51.843 Yeah. 49:52.323 --> 49:56.807 So, Text the Nation this week, listeners, is all about fun names that you give your body parts. 49:57.788 --> 50:04.535 Nicknames for, you know, not just your Winkle Zones, there's a nickname right there, but other parts of your body as well. 50:04.935 --> 50:07.758 Give us your ideas, you can text them or email them to us right now. 50:08.138 --> 50:13.604 Adamandjo.6music at bbc.co.uk is the email, or the text is 64046. 50:15.286 --> 50:18.069 Joe, you've got a few suggestions from our listeners that have come in there, haven't you? 50:18.109 --> 50:18.329 Eat them. 50:19.622 --> 50:26.030 Here's one from Alex in London, and this hasn't been officially given to me, I just happen to have spotted this on the text readout board. 50:27.232 --> 50:30.737 And you know, I'm going in with a slightly edgy one just to get this out of the way. 50:31.337 --> 50:36.624 Alex says, my genital, singular, has come to be known as the sadness. 50:38.086 --> 50:42.531 I tried to name my testicles Michael and Bubbles but it hasn't caught on. 50:42.811 --> 50:43.472 Can you help? 50:43.732 --> 50:44.333 Mickey Bubbles. 50:44.633 --> 50:51.961 Well hopefully Alex we will be able to help because we're going to be offering a lot of suggestions for alternative names for body parts. 50:52.361 --> 50:59.509 Here's one from an anonymous texter who says my boyfriend calls my boobs open inverted commas the guys. 51:00.409 --> 51:00.549 Mmm. 51:00.809 --> 51:05.052 The right one is Guy 1 and the left is Guy 2. 51:05.772 --> 51:06.553 Not Guy Ritchie. 51:06.973 --> 51:07.253 No. 51:07.913 --> 51:10.014 That's very bald and basic, isn't it? 51:10.074 --> 51:11.655 You have Guy Garvey and Guy Ritchie. 51:12.076 --> 51:14.457 Both those suggestions are better, but it's just the guys. 51:14.677 --> 51:15.357 The guys. 51:15.717 --> 51:16.838 That's a nice name for them. 51:16.858 --> 51:17.358 Do you think? 51:17.538 --> 51:19.279 Yeah, what about do you use any pet names? 51:19.339 --> 51:20.700 I think it lacks imagination. 51:20.880 --> 51:23.422 I'm not saying necessarily for your partner, but just maybe your mother. 51:23.802 --> 51:26.163 No, I don't know. 51:26.203 --> 51:27.484 For my mother's what? 51:27.964 --> 51:28.464 Oppressed. 51:29.245 --> 51:29.645 I'm sorry. 51:29.665 --> 51:30.525 I'm sorry. 51:30.545 --> 51:32.066 Alright. 51:32.306 --> 51:33.027 Dirty pillows. 51:33.207 --> 51:33.867 Let's move on. 51:33.947 --> 51:34.428 What about that? 51:34.468 --> 51:36.209 Have you ever heard them referred to as dirty pillows? 51:36.249 --> 51:37.429 Yeah, that's in a film, isn't it? 51:37.469 --> 51:37.749 Isn't it? 51:37.789 --> 51:39.870 Is it evil in war or something? 51:40.131 --> 51:44.573 It's some kind of kid that's been brought up in a repressed atmosphere. 51:45.454 --> 51:49.676 And, oh yeah, I'm sure it's from something and she doesn't want anyone to touch her in those places. 51:49.796 --> 51:50.536 Get off my dirty pillows! 51:50.556 --> 51:51.497 Get off my dirty pillows! 51:54.313 --> 51:57.137 If you know where that reference originally came from. 51:57.438 --> 51:59.160 I've got it in my... Maybe it's witness. 51:59.821 --> 52:01.283 No, it's not witness. 52:01.364 --> 52:02.285 DURTIPELUS! 52:02.305 --> 52:03.106 No! 52:03.226 --> 52:05.850 Mr. Anderson, you're touching my dirty pillows! 52:05.890 --> 52:06.731 My dirty pillows! 52:07.392 --> 52:08.834 Here's one from PJ in Liverpool. 52:09.455 --> 52:09.836 I call... 52:10.837 --> 52:15.598 I call my mum's left ankle George and her right ankle Mildred. 52:16.039 --> 52:17.079 I just don't believe that. 52:17.339 --> 52:17.559 No. 52:17.719 --> 52:18.179 Why would you? 52:18.199 --> 52:21.500 Because in what situation would you be referring to it? 52:21.560 --> 52:22.661 Charlotte, you pick these out, right? 52:22.701 --> 52:24.361 I'm looking at Charlotte now. 52:24.821 --> 52:25.701 All right, here's the next one. 52:26.001 --> 52:27.662 This is from Lucy in Stoke Newington. 52:27.902 --> 52:28.802 Good morning, Adam and Jo. 52:28.842 --> 52:30.403 My boyfriend calls his bits 52:31.343 --> 52:33.224 His Vera and Duckworths. 52:33.544 --> 52:34.144 Hee hee. 52:35.025 --> 52:35.945 Vera Duckworths. 52:38.326 --> 52:38.666 He's not one. 52:38.987 --> 52:41.848 Big Jim at work in Wymondham. 52:42.268 --> 52:42.648 Wyndham. 52:43.249 --> 52:44.489 No, it's not spelt like that. 52:44.689 --> 52:47.731 Yeah, but sometimes things are spelt in a different way to the pronunciation. 52:47.751 --> 52:48.051 Look at that. 52:48.071 --> 52:48.671 It's the fourth one down. 52:48.691 --> 52:49.171 Wymondham. 52:49.331 --> 52:49.892 Yeah, Wyndham. 52:50.652 --> 52:51.392 That's in Norfolk. 52:51.713 --> 52:52.373 That's very near. 52:52.473 --> 52:53.634 Yeah, that's near to where I live. 52:53.714 --> 52:54.514 In Weymundam. 52:54.954 --> 53:00.357 He says, a few mates and myself, this is good, all have double chins, but we all refer to them as giblet chins. 53:00.738 --> 53:00.998 Ah, yes. 53:01.018 --> 53:02.118 Not sure why, but we do. 53:02.499 --> 53:08.602 Yeah, well, in Allie McBeal, they referred to that bit under the jaw as the wattle, didn't they? 53:09.062 --> 53:09.603 The wattle. 53:09.863 --> 53:11.163 That might be the actual name. 53:11.303 --> 53:11.564 Yeah. 53:13.124 --> 53:14.905 Has it got something to do with what a turkey has? 53:15.105 --> 53:15.805 Yes, exactly. 53:15.905 --> 53:23.168 So when you grow up and your skin starts sagging all over the shop, that's the other thing, is once you pass 40 and your body starts betraying you. 53:23.468 --> 53:24.949 Your body starts betraying you. 53:26.029 --> 53:28.570 Come on, your body's absolutely betraying you as well, isn't it? 53:29.290 --> 53:30.111 Maybe. 53:31.231 --> 53:33.633 Well, everyone's body betrays them a little bit. 53:33.934 --> 53:37.817 And once you're past 40, the chances that you're going to get betrayed go up considerably. 53:38.237 --> 53:40.339 And the wattle is one of the first things you get, isn't it? 53:40.399 --> 53:42.361 The skin starts sagging around there. 53:42.621 --> 53:45.724 That's if it hasn't, you know, George Lucas, he's the king of the wattle, right? 53:45.964 --> 53:47.345 Yes, he's got a hell of a wattle. 53:47.385 --> 53:51.008 I mean, he's got all kinds of, he keeps snacks and stuff tucked away in that wattle. 53:51.468 --> 53:52.209 Wyman-dom. 53:53.610 --> 53:55.411 You can't believe that something is spelled so differently. 53:55.431 --> 53:56.331 Why would you spell it like that? 53:56.351 --> 53:59.813 Have you ever seen, like, you know, the Chumleys and the Fanshaws? 53:59.893 --> 54:00.253 Didn't you? 54:00.313 --> 54:01.513 Do you remember that dance company? 54:01.833 --> 54:04.454 The Cholmondelys and the Featherstone Hoffs? 54:04.474 --> 54:04.975 That's different. 54:05.495 --> 54:07.035 It's like when someone's called Owen. 54:07.416 --> 54:07.636 Yeah. 54:07.896 --> 54:11.737 And then their name is spelled in some amazingly elaborate Welsh manner. 54:11.837 --> 54:12.978 Iogin or something. 54:12.998 --> 54:15.699 Yeah, like Iogin, what was he called on the inspector? 54:16.159 --> 54:16.399 Kweig. 54:16.439 --> 54:16.839 Kweig, yeah. 54:16.979 --> 54:17.640 Iogin Kweig. 54:18.940 --> 54:20.601 You're absolutely bowled over by that, aren't you? 54:20.621 --> 54:21.682 You can't believe... Wymandom. 54:21.722 --> 54:22.202 Wymandom. 54:22.222 --> 54:23.763 I've got to go there and talk to them about it. 54:23.803 --> 54:24.603 After the show. 54:25.124 --> 54:29.986 There's another place near Wymandom that's spelt Kostessi and it's pronounced Kossi. 54:30.707 --> 54:33.188 So you can really get a lot of egg on your face with that one. 54:33.208 --> 54:34.289 Let me tell you. 54:35.529 --> 54:38.991 Joe, this is a great explanation and we're going to come back to it later on in the programme. 54:39.011 --> 54:43.714 So just hold your horses there and we're going to play some more great music for the listeners right now on 6 Music. 54:43.754 --> 54:45.295 Here's Bat for Lashes with Sleep Alone. 54:46.212 --> 54:51.295 Lovely Natasha Khan, back for lashes with Sleep Alone here on BBC's 6 Music. 54:51.715 --> 54:52.596 This is Adam and Jo. 54:52.616 --> 54:53.756 How are you doing, listeners? 54:53.816 --> 54:55.717 Lovely to have you along this Saturday afternoon. 54:56.478 --> 54:57.318 How are you doing, Jo? 54:57.458 --> 54:57.919 I'm alright. 54:58.119 --> 54:58.799 Yeah, I'm fine. 54:58.959 --> 54:59.499 Yeah, good. 54:59.680 --> 55:00.620 I've got a bit of a cold. 55:00.700 --> 55:01.601 Sorry about that, listeners. 55:02.421 --> 55:06.542 I was thinking the other day that you and I, Adam and me went to school together. 55:07.163 --> 55:08.743 And we used to have Saturday morning school. 55:08.803 --> 55:09.263 That's true. 55:09.363 --> 55:10.023 Do you remember that? 55:10.043 --> 55:10.544 Yeah, sure. 55:11.124 --> 55:14.445 So one way or another, you and I have seen each other on Saturday mornings. 55:14.525 --> 55:14.925 A lot. 55:15.005 --> 55:16.546 More than most friends, you reckon? 55:16.866 --> 55:17.906 I mean, what has it been now? 55:18.266 --> 55:18.946 25 years? 55:19.126 --> 55:20.267 Something like that. 55:20.287 --> 55:21.087 27 even. 55:21.347 --> 55:22.107 A long time. 55:22.127 --> 55:22.968 Yeah, we met when we were 12. 55:23.248 --> 55:25.228 Every Saturday morning. 55:25.248 --> 55:25.789 28 years, mate. 55:26.169 --> 55:29.870 That's got to be some kind of scientific sort of anomaly, hasn't it? 55:31.110 --> 55:37.374 Yes, I mean, I've probably spent more Saturdays, way more Saturdays with you than with my wife or anyone else in my life. 55:37.814 --> 55:40.815 Psychologists must be able to do something with that, mustn't they? 55:41.015 --> 55:44.457 Like, I'm thinking we could profit from this somehow. 55:44.557 --> 55:46.258 How on earth could you profit from that? 55:46.318 --> 55:47.439 I don't know, I don't know. 55:47.619 --> 55:49.680 Somehow, we've got to be able to make money out of it somehow. 55:49.700 --> 55:50.860 Get some kind of radio show. 55:51.060 --> 55:51.901 We could, couldn't we? 55:51.981 --> 55:52.821 Yeah, we could get paid. 55:53.141 --> 55:54.602 Is that what you're thinking? 55:54.782 --> 55:55.182 Could we? 55:55.383 --> 55:55.983 No one ever would. 55:56.303 --> 55:57.105 Here's a free play. 55:57.245 --> 56:02.935 This is Griffiths Jones, the popular BBC presenter, and this song is called Lonesome Words. 56:03.015 --> 56:04.898 Is he the guy that used to be in Super Furry Animals? 56:05.099 --> 56:05.239 Yeah. 56:05.820 --> 56:07.743 Is Mel Smith also in Super Furry Animals? 56:08.084 --> 56:08.244 Yes. 56:09.724 --> 56:11.264 That's the Matals with Monkey Man. 56:11.304 --> 56:13.525 Is that just the Matals on their own without the Toots? 56:13.965 --> 56:15.245 Toots was in there as well, wasn't he? 56:15.265 --> 56:16.346 There's Toots in there, that was Toots. 56:16.406 --> 56:18.186 And the Matals then with Monkey Man. 56:18.226 --> 56:19.887 This is Adam and Joe on BBC Six Music. 56:19.907 --> 56:21.367 Maybe Toots wasn't involved. 56:21.947 --> 56:22.387 Oh no! 56:22.407 --> 56:24.248 In which case the Matals will be absolutely furious. 56:24.668 --> 56:26.628 Why is everyone always going on about Toots? 56:26.948 --> 56:29.329 You know we did stuff without Toots sometimes! 56:29.609 --> 56:34.310 When we play Toots and the Matals it usually says Toots and the Matals and that just said the Matals. 56:34.390 --> 56:35.350 So let's go with that. 56:35.370 --> 56:37.851 The castle wouldn't get something like that wrong, would it? 56:38.251 --> 56:38.991 I don't think so. 56:39.151 --> 56:48.275 Listen, a moment ago we were talking about Dirty Pillows and we were wondering what film that came from and millions of people texted in saying it's of course from Carrie. 56:48.816 --> 56:49.236 Is it? 56:49.356 --> 56:53.137 Hyperlory's character says it to Sissy Spacek, the mum to the daughter. 56:53.858 --> 56:55.378 She says, where is it? 56:55.398 --> 56:56.219 Somebody's quoted it. 56:56.599 --> 56:59.240 I can see your dirty pillows, says Carrie's mum. 56:59.520 --> 57:01.161 They're called breaths, mama. 57:01.361 --> 57:02.022 That's right. 57:02.042 --> 57:03.163 Says Carrie. 57:03.323 --> 57:06.885 But am I right in thinking that it's a literary reference, though? 57:06.946 --> 57:10.208 Did someone else use the phrase, dirty pillows, before that in a book? 57:10.428 --> 57:11.949 Or was that coined for Carrie? 57:11.969 --> 57:13.330 I think it's Chaucerian. 57:13.831 --> 57:14.111 Was it? 57:14.631 --> 57:15.792 Sounds like the word of Chaucerian. 57:17.173 --> 57:18.493 Your dirty pillows. 57:18.793 --> 57:24.534 Now, Joe, did you see on Channel 4 this week, on Thursday, Alone in the Wild? 57:24.734 --> 57:28.195 No, but I saw the trailers and it looked like it was going to be very heavy. 57:28.415 --> 57:30.255 It was a remarkable documentary. 57:30.856 --> 57:32.336 Ed Wardle is the name of the guy. 57:32.356 --> 57:33.516 I don't know who he is, right? 57:33.736 --> 57:34.876 Have you ever heard of Ed Wardle? 57:34.976 --> 57:35.176 No. 57:35.456 --> 57:43.778 He's a Scottish man and he looks a little bit like Fran Healy from Travis, like a slightly more roughy-toughty version of Fran from Travis. 57:44.578 --> 57:55.847 And he was dropped into the unforgiving Yukon wilderness with just basic provisions and cameras to film himself as he attempted to survive completely alone in the wild. 57:55.927 --> 57:56.808 It's a series, right? 57:57.188 --> 58:03.794 And I would guess that this guy is a experienced documentary maker himself because it's very well shot. 58:04.154 --> 58:05.235 Like he's doing it all himself. 58:05.255 --> 58:05.855 He's all on his own. 58:05.895 --> 58:07.997 I really like that as a format for Doc. 58:08.717 --> 58:25.630 So he's totally on his own but he's got some really creative camera angles and he does a lot of things where he straps the camera to holes or himself or whatever so it looks a bit like Scorsese in the bar in Mean Streets every now and again you know and so it looks really nice and I have a few anxieties sometimes about 58:26.150 --> 58:28.812 how long it took to construct some of the shots, you know what I mean? 58:29.212 --> 58:34.795 Like he does a lot of, there's one bit where he dives into the water off a rock and you see it from several different angles. 58:34.835 --> 58:39.837 Like first of all, you see him on the rock talking into the camera, holding the camera, saying, yeah, I've always wanted to do this. 58:40.198 --> 58:42.339 I'm just about to dive into the water off this rock. 58:42.379 --> 58:43.019 It's amazing. 58:43.479 --> 58:44.520 Oh, it's going to be so wonderful. 58:44.840 --> 58:48.262 And then you see a wide shot from somewhere else of him diving in. 58:48.622 --> 58:49.302 So you think, right. 58:49.502 --> 58:50.623 So he's gone all the way round. 58:50.803 --> 58:51.183 the lake. 58:51.223 --> 58:52.184 He's gone all the way around the lake. 58:52.204 --> 58:57.307 He would have had to set up that shot, walk all the way back, dive in, come out, walk all the way back round. 58:57.347 --> 58:59.789 Did he dive in and swim across and put the camera there? 58:59.889 --> 59:00.510 Right, maybe. 59:00.530 --> 59:02.211 In which case that wouldn't be his first dive. 59:02.491 --> 59:04.672 But I always feel as if I'm being slightly lied to. 59:04.752 --> 59:06.694 I mean, I know that's just the language of documentary. 59:06.714 --> 59:10.476 I'm not supposed to think about it, but I want to see him like he's got to do a shot. 59:10.556 --> 59:20.223 I want to see the shot of him walking over to the camera and repositioning it, you know, and saying, I've just got to reposition the camera now for the shot of me diving into the lake, which I've always wanted to do. 59:21.524 --> 59:25.947 You know, surely it's full it must be full of my I mean that could drive you mad, isn't it full of moments like that? 59:26.027 --> 59:36.014 Yeah I mean it would be impractical it would get in the way of your enjoyment of the narrative maybe but the thing that really stuck out is the And I don't want to sound cynical about it, but the slight pointlessness of the whole thing 59:36.485 --> 59:46.298 Like it is interesting, it is certainly interesting seeing this guy out in the wilderness and stuff, but you always have to come back, or rather he feels he always has to come back to why he's actually doing it. 59:46.818 --> 59:50.123 And in those situations, there's really not very much of a reason. 59:52.145 --> 59:54.927 Well, just to see if he can survive there for a while. 59:55.267 --> 59:55.467 Right. 59:55.487 --> 59:55.587 Right. 59:56.008 --> 59:57.609 Without being killed by bears. 59:57.749 --> 59:58.009 Right. 59:58.189 --> 59:59.110 Or breaking his ankle. 59:59.430 --> 59:59.690 Right. 59:59.850 --> 01:00:00.131 You know? 01:00:00.471 --> 01:00:02.212 How far away is he from civilization? 01:00:02.352 --> 01:00:09.717 He's quite a long way, but he's got a little orange GPS message sending thing, which he has to press every 24 hours. 01:00:09.757 --> 01:00:10.598 To say that he's alive. 01:00:10.618 --> 01:00:11.518 To say that he's okay. 01:00:11.598 --> 01:00:12.879 And has he got a destination? 01:00:12.919 --> 01:00:15.541 Is he going somewhere, or is he just settling in the same place? 01:00:15.901 --> 01:00:16.662 I don't think so. 01:00:16.722 --> 01:00:19.504 Here's the blurb that comes with the opening episode. 01:00:20.124 --> 01:00:21.865 Ed is flown into the Canadian wilderness. 01:00:21.965 --> 01:00:26.607 As the plane disappears, he's instantly overwhelmed by the realization that he's completely alone. 01:00:26.927 --> 01:00:29.908 He finds it hard to make decisions, but manages to set up camp. 01:00:30.188 --> 01:00:32.829 He's frightened and nervous of every sound and movement around him. 01:00:33.150 --> 01:00:38.372 As the day goes by, it dawns on Ed that the escapist's dream is a lot harder than he ever imagined. 01:00:38.492 --> 01:00:41.233 This is exactly what happens when my girlfriend goes away. 01:00:41.613 --> 01:00:45.595 Yeah, it's like a description of me home alone. 01:00:45.715 --> 01:00:47.296 So by day four, how are you doing? 01:00:47.616 --> 01:00:48.357 I'm nearly dead. 01:00:48.577 --> 01:00:49.457 Well, he's in trouble. 01:00:49.497 --> 01:00:52.439 By day four, he's only been out there four days camping, right? 01:00:52.559 --> 01:00:54.880 And he's had no bear contact at this point, although he's frightened. 01:00:54.940 --> 01:00:55.361 Fair enough. 01:00:55.941 --> 01:00:58.222 But by day four, he's already falling apart. 01:00:58.442 --> 01:01:01.084 He sees a plane flying overhead at one stage, right? 01:01:01.384 --> 01:01:02.545 And he gets his... Oh, look! 01:01:02.745 --> 01:01:03.865 There's a plane flying overhead! 01:01:05.006 --> 01:01:06.267 And then he starts crying. 01:01:06.387 --> 01:01:06.727 Does he? 01:01:06.747 --> 01:01:07.648 I don't know. 01:01:07.668 --> 01:01:09.329 I don't know why I'm crying. 01:01:10.070 --> 01:01:13.793 It's just so shocking to see that plane going over it. 01:01:13.973 --> 01:01:18.256 It didn't even stop or try and look or anything like that. 01:01:18.276 --> 01:01:20.999 He's totally falling apart on day four. 01:01:21.139 --> 01:01:22.400 He sounds like a bit of a wuss. 01:01:22.440 --> 01:01:23.941 He's a tiny bit of a nance. 01:01:25.202 --> 01:01:26.563 Maybe that's more dramatic, isn't it? 01:01:26.583 --> 01:01:27.263 A bit of a dress. 01:01:27.344 --> 01:01:28.004 Better than pudding. 01:01:28.044 --> 01:01:30.026 For instance, hard man Jeff Capes at the wilderness. 01:01:30.046 --> 01:01:31.907 But they should have called it dress in the wild then. 01:01:34.730 --> 01:01:38.154 Hey, but listen, this is only part one of several, right? 01:01:38.194 --> 01:01:42.199 And I read a trail for next week that says he nearly dies. 01:01:42.719 --> 01:01:45.643 Well, the other thing is that he's... Apparently he genuinely did nearly die. 01:01:45.843 --> 01:01:46.144 Really? 01:01:46.284 --> 01:01:48.186 Right, so that makes it better, doesn't it? 01:01:48.206 --> 01:01:49.868 That takes it more fun. 01:01:49.888 --> 01:01:52.151 Well, at one point he justifies the whole exercise thus. 01:01:53.012 --> 01:01:54.773 This is doing something extraordinary. 01:01:54.893 --> 01:01:56.353 I'm going to learn a whole load. 01:01:57.093 --> 01:01:59.994 There may be a life-changing experience in this, and that'll be good. 01:02:00.275 --> 01:02:05.716 I want to film my life with extraordinary things, extraordinary adventures, extraordinary learning situations. 01:02:06.017 --> 01:02:12.899 I want to do extraordinary things all the time, and I think that if I do them, then my life will be exciting and vital and worth living. 01:02:13.119 --> 01:02:16.000 Is it too late, and is he too far away to find him and punch him? 01:02:17.380 --> 01:02:18.561 But that's his whole justification. 01:02:18.581 --> 01:02:24.943 He just wants to do, and he must be about early 40s, I would say, and all he wants to do is just extraordinary things. 01:02:25.563 --> 01:02:26.703 Do you know what he'll discover? 01:02:26.903 --> 01:02:27.083 What? 01:02:27.303 --> 01:02:29.384 He'll discover that it's actually nice at home. 01:02:29.524 --> 01:02:30.885 That's the thing, isn't it? 01:02:30.905 --> 01:02:32.305 That's always what everyone learns. 01:02:32.345 --> 01:02:39.747 Also, you'll get used to it, and after a while he'll think, like, I want to go to the extraordinary toilet in, like, an extraordinarily comfortable lav, and things like that. 01:02:39.767 --> 01:02:41.908 He might want to catch up on telly. 01:02:42.248 --> 01:02:47.833 It was enjoyable though, I'll certainly be tuning in next week Thursday's 9pm Channel 4 Alone in the Wild. 01:02:48.573 --> 01:02:52.637 This is Camera Obscura right now with Let's Get Out of This Country. 01:02:52.937 --> 01:02:56.600 Joe of TV's Adam and Joe show has which surname? 01:03:01.724 --> 01:03:05.007 Stick out there Joe, they'll remember your name one of these days. 01:03:05.607 --> 01:03:05.928 Cornish. 01:03:08.430 --> 01:03:11.731 That was the mighty Coldplay with Strawberry Swing. 01:03:12.212 --> 01:03:13.212 No idea what that was about. 01:03:13.232 --> 01:03:14.593 Were you listening to the lyrics? 01:03:14.813 --> 01:03:16.513 No, I wasn't listening to it at all, to be honest. 01:03:16.593 --> 01:03:18.954 I was preparing some text-to-nation entries. 01:03:19.134 --> 01:03:25.697 It sounded nice, though, but I wasn't really concentrating on thematically what he was banging on about Strawberry Swing. 01:03:26.197 --> 01:03:28.298 They've gone all township as well. 01:03:28.318 --> 01:03:29.499 Did we talk about this last week? 01:03:30.199 --> 01:03:30.779 Oh, yes. 01:03:30.799 --> 01:03:36.902 The very best was the township record, wasn't it, featuring the guy from Vampire Weekend. 01:03:37.322 --> 01:03:38.483 Right, but was that Coldplay? 01:03:38.803 --> 01:03:39.964 No, no, no, that was the very best. 01:03:40.104 --> 01:03:45.408 So this is another band jumping on the whole Graceland by Paul Simon bandwagon. 01:03:45.448 --> 01:03:45.928 I guess so. 01:03:46.028 --> 01:03:47.669 That was Eno they're working with there, though. 01:03:47.709 --> 01:03:47.990 Really? 01:03:48.090 --> 01:03:48.350 Yeah. 01:03:48.370 --> 01:03:50.371 That's Eno jumping on another band. 01:03:51.492 --> 01:03:54.234 He was one of the first people to do all that mixing up power. 01:03:54.274 --> 01:03:55.395 He manufactures the bandwagon. 01:03:55.415 --> 01:03:56.175 Cross-pollination. 01:03:56.316 --> 01:03:57.376 Yeah, he's the bandwagon man. 01:03:57.396 --> 01:03:58.497 He does the wheels and stuff. 01:03:58.657 --> 01:03:59.478 He does wonky wheels. 01:03:59.938 --> 01:04:01.979 Do you think he invented South African music? 01:04:01.999 --> 01:04:03.240 Do you think he went on holiday there? 01:04:03.280 --> 01:04:05.461 Like very, very... Pretty sure he was very young. 01:04:05.481 --> 01:04:06.601 He invented South Africa. 01:04:06.701 --> 01:04:07.021 Did he? 01:04:07.121 --> 01:04:08.602 He found it and he set it up. 01:04:08.622 --> 01:04:09.963 Just opposed a couple of words. 01:04:10.183 --> 01:04:16.506 Yeah, he got some cards out there and started reading them out to the locals and that was how South Africa was born. 01:04:16.546 --> 01:04:17.906 He's not responsible for the bad parts. 01:04:18.166 --> 01:04:18.887 Of course not. 01:04:19.267 --> 01:04:20.467 The apartheid and stuff like that. 01:04:20.487 --> 01:04:21.788 That's when Eno was off the job. 01:04:22.488 --> 01:04:23.609 Text the nation time now. 01:04:23.649 --> 01:04:24.549 Sorry, do you have something else? 01:04:24.749 --> 01:04:24.990 No. 01:04:27.271 --> 01:04:28.031 Let's have the jingle. 01:04:31.218 --> 01:04:31.519 Text! 01:04:31.579 --> 01:04:31.860 Text! 01:04:31.920 --> 01:04:32.280 Text! 01:04:32.381 --> 01:04:33.142 Text-a-nation! 01:04:33.202 --> 01:04:34.145 What if I don't want to? 01:04:34.405 --> 01:04:35.167 Text-a-nation! 01:04:35.227 --> 01:04:36.269 But I'm using email! 01:04:36.409 --> 01:04:37.131 Is that a problem? 01:04:37.151 --> 01:04:37.752 It doesn't matter! 01:04:37.792 --> 01:04:37.993 Text! 01:04:40.413 --> 01:04:46.854 So Text the Nation, this week, listeners, is all about alternative names for parts of your body's pet names. 01:04:47.354 --> 01:04:47.954 Cankles. 01:04:47.974 --> 01:04:49.335 Have you heard the phrase cankles? 01:04:49.555 --> 01:04:50.095 Yes, I have. 01:04:50.515 --> 01:04:51.295 That's a lady thing. 01:04:51.355 --> 01:04:53.375 Is that in Sex and the City or something like that? 01:04:53.795 --> 01:04:56.736 What is it when your ankles get all rough and nasty? 01:04:56.856 --> 01:04:59.697 No, it's when your... No, Charlotte knows. 01:05:00.157 --> 01:05:02.997 It's when there's no difference between your calves and your ankles. 01:05:03.077 --> 01:05:04.758 They kind of merge into one. 01:05:04.818 --> 01:05:06.178 Ah, cankles. 01:05:06.298 --> 01:05:07.178 You get cankles. 01:05:07.538 --> 01:05:07.859 Wow. 01:05:08.019 --> 01:05:09.882 It does sound like what you said earlier, doesn't it? 01:05:09.922 --> 01:05:11.284 Like rough skin deposits. 01:05:12.566 --> 01:05:14.609 Here's one that's coming from Robin in Brighton. 01:05:14.989 --> 01:05:22.160 My breastfeeding children call my wife's left breast the Big Milk and the other one that one. 01:05:23.642 --> 01:05:26.364 They were very particular about which one was required. 01:05:26.464 --> 01:05:26.944 Wow. 01:05:27.125 --> 01:05:28.345 I've never heard of that before. 01:05:28.946 --> 01:05:31.307 Like special loyalty to a left or right breast. 01:05:31.367 --> 01:05:32.528 I don't want that one. 01:05:32.548 --> 01:05:33.209 Not that one. 01:05:33.229 --> 01:05:33.949 Give me the big milk. 01:05:35.530 --> 01:05:36.411 The big milk. 01:05:36.871 --> 01:05:40.554 It's like some tawdry Channel 4 early morning program. 01:05:40.694 --> 01:05:42.875 That's right. 01:05:42.895 --> 01:05:44.096 Here's one from Dave. 01:05:44.816 --> 01:05:53.062 Dave says, Adam and Jo, I call my girlfriend's nipples, the pointer sisters, for obvious reasons, as they stick out like a couple of chapel hat pegs. 01:05:53.622 --> 01:05:54.383 Chapel hat pegs. 01:05:54.403 --> 01:05:55.243 I don't know, that's what he said. 01:05:55.363 --> 01:05:57.505 A couple chapel hat pegs. 01:05:58.445 --> 01:05:59.666 And that's on a warm day. 01:06:00.167 --> 01:06:00.787 What? 01:06:01.127 --> 01:06:02.468 What's a chapel hat peg? 01:06:02.488 --> 01:06:04.009 That's what he's written, I'm just reading out. 01:06:04.049 --> 01:06:05.410 Oh, it's a hat peg in a chapel. 01:06:05.770 --> 01:06:06.631 Right, right, right. 01:06:06.951 --> 01:06:07.992 But why a chapel? 01:06:08.052 --> 01:06:09.973 On a cold day she could take someone's eye out. 01:06:10.213 --> 01:06:12.455 Have they got particularly big pegs in chapels? 01:06:12.535 --> 01:06:13.415 Chapel hat peg. 01:06:13.576 --> 01:06:14.596 Yeah, it's very descriptive. 01:06:14.636 --> 01:06:15.277 Well done, Dave. 01:06:15.317 --> 01:06:15.637 Thank you. 01:06:15.657 --> 01:06:17.038 Here's one from Mark in Birmingham. 01:06:17.358 --> 01:06:23.042 My seven-year-old son James calls his nipples, armpits and testicles his underpips. 01:06:23.943 --> 01:06:26.364 Underpips all of them is underpips. 01:06:26.505 --> 01:06:34.631 Whoa That's um, that's not very specific that you've got to narrow it down useful Is it if he hurts one of those and just refers to it as the underpips? 01:06:34.711 --> 01:06:37.413 Yeah first aid people are gonna be very confused 01:06:39.275 --> 01:06:40.195 my underbibs. 01:06:55.303 --> 01:06:56.384 Yeah, that's a good one. 01:06:56.404 --> 01:07:02.610 It'll be good for later in life as well Woo-woo, that's what the Americans call them sometimes, isn't it? 01:07:04.271 --> 01:07:09.676 My wife's joined up toes are called the Webster's The Webster's says Nick from Bristol 01:07:11.758 --> 01:07:15.884 Lee in Essex says, I used to call my man parts a dingle. 01:07:16.244 --> 01:07:23.254 This was in my mind the official name for it so imagine my amazement one day when my gran took me to Bournemouth and there was a department stall called Dingle's. 01:07:24.595 --> 01:07:27.099 I still remember my amazement and bewilderment. 01:07:27.479 --> 01:07:28.741 Wow, imagine the selection. 01:07:30.484 --> 01:07:43.704 imagine the selection that they would have there well dongle is the other word that I always get confused about like when someone started referring to the little bit of stuff that you plug into a computer as a dongle I was like you what oh yeah you just need you need a dongle for this I was like 01:07:44.745 --> 01:07:45.266 A dongle? 01:07:45.486 --> 01:07:46.406 What are you talking about? 01:07:47.667 --> 01:07:52.351 David Armstrong in West Sussex says I call my buttocks my bum-go drums. 01:07:53.432 --> 01:07:57.555 Bum-go drums, because my mother used to play them like bongos when I was a small child. 01:07:58.116 --> 01:07:59.076 Ah, that's a fun game. 01:07:59.517 --> 01:07:59.897 Really? 01:08:00.037 --> 01:08:02.199 Yes, playing the buttocks of a small child, have you not done that? 01:08:02.259 --> 01:08:03.740 Not when your mother's in the Thompson twins. 01:08:03.760 --> 01:08:05.661 It's got to be your own child, that's the thing. 01:08:05.701 --> 01:08:06.882 And she pulls you on stage. 01:08:07.403 --> 01:08:08.904 Like, Alanna... 10 times a week. 01:08:08.924 --> 01:08:10.085 Alanna Curry was her name. 01:08:10.385 --> 01:08:10.565 Yeah. 01:08:10.585 --> 01:08:12.667 What are you talking about Anana Curry for? 01:08:13.068 --> 01:08:17.071 Because she takes the child on stage and plays his buttocks as bongos. 01:08:17.432 --> 01:08:19.273 I'm going to play the bongo drums now. 01:08:19.614 --> 01:08:21.996 Don't worry listeners and audience members. 01:08:22.036 --> 01:08:23.217 This is my own child. 01:08:23.477 --> 01:08:25.139 You have to do it with your own child. 01:08:25.279 --> 01:08:26.760 You really switched around there for a moment. 01:08:26.780 --> 01:08:27.881 You didn't know what I was talking about. 01:08:27.901 --> 01:08:31.965 And then immediately I was trying to get into the scene. 01:08:33.266 --> 01:08:37.089 When we were children, says... Can you not sigh like that before you... Why? 01:08:37.129 --> 01:08:38.770 Does it sound like I'm bored with what I'm about to read? 01:08:38.790 --> 01:08:40.211 Well, it sounds like you're... No, I'm not bored at all. 01:08:40.232 --> 01:08:40.852 I'm excited. 01:08:40.872 --> 01:08:41.893 It sounded like Onwe. 01:08:41.913 --> 01:08:42.974 I'm gearing myself up. 01:08:43.154 --> 01:08:45.175 I was just trying to figure out how to say this person's name. 01:08:45.315 --> 01:08:52.121 Alice, in Ireland, says, When we were children, my mother taught us to call our girl paraphernalia our Tutti Frutti. 01:08:53.322 --> 01:08:57.125 You can imagine my surprise when I saw Tutti Frutti flavored sweets in our local shop. 01:09:03.297 --> 01:09:03.977 Let's leave it there. 01:09:03.998 --> 01:09:07.279 She probably never got into those sweets, even though they are absolutely delicious. 01:09:07.760 --> 01:09:09.180 Here's a free choice for you now, listeners. 01:09:09.240 --> 01:09:12.662 This is from Neil Young's album On the Beach and it's called Walk On. 01:09:20.287 --> 01:09:21.367 Ruined the end of that song. 01:09:21.567 --> 01:09:22.048 Wasn't me. 01:09:22.248 --> 01:09:24.069 That was Lloyd Cole with Rattlesnakes. 01:09:24.089 --> 01:09:24.329 Correct. 01:09:24.369 --> 01:09:25.249 That was Lloyd Cole. 01:09:25.670 --> 01:09:27.271 Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 01:09:27.751 --> 01:09:29.452 Now they've more or less finished London. 01:09:30.543 --> 01:09:30.863 Have they? 01:09:30.883 --> 01:09:32.324 They've been working on it for a while. 01:09:32.424 --> 01:09:33.405 Yeah, it's nearly finished. 01:09:33.465 --> 01:09:35.327 It's going to be finished by the end of the month. 01:09:36.147 --> 01:09:42.372 So in October, you'll be pleased to find the streets are in good order, no road works whatsoever. 01:09:42.732 --> 01:09:43.833 All the cranes gone away? 01:09:43.853 --> 01:09:44.354 Yeah. 01:09:44.534 --> 01:09:45.835 All the buildings refurbished? 01:09:45.875 --> 01:09:49.237 You can drive around wherever you like, no diversions, any of that kind of thing. 01:09:49.557 --> 01:09:52.980 Were you aware in South London of a lot of roads being dug up over the summer? 01:09:53.120 --> 01:09:53.881 I certainly am. 01:09:53.941 --> 01:09:55.502 Yeah, my mummy and daddy's house. 01:09:55.602 --> 01:09:58.704 They've got temporary traffic lights outside their front door. 01:09:58.825 --> 01:09:58.965 Yeah. 01:09:59.685 --> 01:10:01.787 And there's no parking because they're digging it all up. 01:10:02.067 --> 01:10:02.767 Parking nightmare. 01:10:02.787 --> 01:10:03.588 It's called chaos. 01:10:03.788 --> 01:10:05.069 Absolute parking chaos. 01:10:05.169 --> 01:10:07.350 And things were pretty bad there already as far as parking. 01:10:07.370 --> 01:10:08.391 Don't get me started. 01:10:08.411 --> 01:10:09.832 Don't even get me started. 01:10:09.852 --> 01:10:14.315 The number of confrontations I flipping had with warden's around that neck of the woods. 01:10:14.815 --> 01:10:19.198 But I was curious about what, I mean, they're installing new water mains is the main thing, right? 01:10:19.218 --> 01:10:19.698 Flash warden. 01:10:19.738 --> 01:10:21.279 I've just thought of a new character, Flash warden. 01:10:21.539 --> 01:10:22.320 Flash warden. 01:10:22.340 --> 01:10:23.140 Warden's alive. 01:10:23.220 --> 01:10:25.422 Yeah, he's an adventurous traffic warden from space. 01:10:25.982 --> 01:10:27.043 But he would be the hero, though. 01:10:27.063 --> 01:10:28.304 I don't want to heroic traffic. 01:10:28.324 --> 01:10:30.266 Well, it would challenge your preconceptrons. 01:10:30.306 --> 01:10:31.147 I don't want them challenged. 01:10:31.207 --> 01:10:31.527 All right. 01:10:31.707 --> 01:10:32.568 Well, you don't need to watch. 01:10:32.908 --> 01:10:34.429 OK, I'm not watching Flashwood. 01:10:35.991 --> 01:10:37.372 Do you think it's for kids or grownups? 01:10:37.432 --> 01:10:38.373 Flashwood and idiots. 01:10:38.733 --> 01:10:39.914 It's very idiots. 01:10:40.354 --> 01:10:41.816 I tell you, you're really jealous of my idea. 01:10:41.836 --> 01:10:43.117 It's for the warden community. 01:10:43.157 --> 01:10:43.737 That's who it's for. 01:10:43.757 --> 01:10:44.038 Is it? 01:10:44.278 --> 01:10:45.579 It's an in-house production. 01:10:45.879 --> 01:10:47.921 to make them feel better about themselves. 01:10:48.921 --> 01:10:53.445 Because morale is so low because they keep having confrontational, enraged customers. 01:10:53.525 --> 01:10:56.727 It's a kind of little bit of propaganda to pick their spirits up. 01:10:57.148 --> 01:10:58.208 Hey chaps, come on. 01:10:58.589 --> 01:11:00.590 Listen, I know it seems tough out there. 01:11:00.630 --> 01:11:03.392 It's a thankless job you're doing, but it's an important one. 01:11:03.693 --> 01:11:06.875 And here to pick up your spirits is a new episode of Flash Warp. 01:11:08.776 --> 01:11:09.696 I'd do the job. 01:11:10.617 --> 01:11:11.597 It's a really good idea. 01:11:11.857 --> 01:11:13.137 It's a good idea, certainly. 01:11:13.658 --> 01:11:17.919 But listen, I was curious about whether they found anything while they were digging up the roads. 01:11:17.979 --> 01:11:18.299 Yes. 01:11:18.359 --> 01:11:19.379 Like time team style. 01:11:19.859 --> 01:11:20.619 Right, right. 01:11:20.659 --> 01:11:26.701 Tony Robinson might come running in and tell them they can't fill the hole up because he's found an old spoon, that kind of thing. 01:11:26.721 --> 01:11:29.762 I mean, they must have found all manner of treasure. 01:11:29.782 --> 01:11:33.823 Sounds like I'm being disdainful towards the school of digging. 01:11:33.863 --> 01:11:34.423 What's it called? 01:11:35.064 --> 01:11:35.444 Dig school. 01:11:36.764 --> 01:11:56.417 that's archaeology archaeology I'm not I think it's brilliant yeah of course it is Indiana Jones man he done it he done it he's wicked if he does it's got to be cool got like a whip and a hat and stuff so what's your problem with like dig school year yeah I was thinking here's a list of things I think they might have found buried beneath the tarmac in London over the summer 01:12:02.438 --> 01:12:09.145 You know that this is going to be like a... I can't even imagine. 01:12:10.366 --> 01:12:10.766 Go on. 01:12:11.567 --> 01:12:13.369 A comedy list. 01:12:19.675 --> 01:12:21.097 Say the first one. 01:12:23.279 --> 01:12:24.060 A pyramid. 01:12:27.210 --> 01:12:30.711 Because I haven't been around for so long. 01:12:35.092 --> 01:12:35.832 Say another one. 01:12:37.293 --> 01:12:38.093 Ali Sheedy. 01:12:38.633 --> 01:12:39.033 Right. 01:12:40.613 --> 01:12:41.314 She's, yeah. 01:12:41.614 --> 01:12:43.314 Because she hasn't been around for so long. 01:12:43.934 --> 01:12:44.995 She doesn't live in London though. 01:12:45.895 --> 01:12:46.635 That's far fetched. 01:12:46.655 --> 01:12:49.816 She may have slipped down a manhole when she was doing a holiday promotion. 01:12:50.196 --> 01:12:52.337 for the last, yeah, for Princess Caribou. 01:12:52.458 --> 01:12:52.918 How about this? 01:12:53.138 --> 01:12:53.698 Is she in that? 01:12:53.959 --> 01:12:55.560 Buried, I don't know, she'd be kicked. 01:12:56.000 --> 01:12:59.262 Buried beneath the tarmac in London, that's what they found. 01:12:59.943 --> 01:13:01.604 Together with Alice Sheedy and a pyramid. 01:13:02.284 --> 01:13:03.245 Common decency. 01:13:04.006 --> 01:13:04.806 Oh, of course. 01:13:04.846 --> 01:13:05.246 Yeah. 01:13:05.427 --> 01:13:06.607 Well, that goes without saying. 01:13:06.868 --> 01:13:09.750 In your face, Ken Livingston. 01:13:09.770 --> 01:13:10.710 What? 01:13:11.131 --> 01:13:12.031 Is he still the man? 01:13:12.111 --> 01:13:12.451 No. 01:13:15.634 --> 01:13:16.214 You want one more? 01:13:17.255 --> 01:13:17.595 Yeah. 01:13:17.855 --> 01:13:18.776 A Tamagotchi. 01:13:19.076 --> 01:13:21.417 Yes, an old trendy thing. 01:13:21.557 --> 01:13:21.837 Yeah. 01:13:22.057 --> 01:13:23.777 Rejected. 01:13:23.877 --> 01:13:24.397 You do one. 01:13:27.078 --> 01:13:28.038 It's not so easy, is it? 01:13:30.179 --> 01:13:30.739 What are you doing? 01:13:30.759 --> 01:13:31.559 That's something else. 01:13:32.159 --> 01:13:33.100 No, I can't think of one. 01:13:33.120 --> 01:13:34.260 I need time to prepare. 01:13:34.580 --> 01:13:35.140 Yeah, you do. 01:13:35.160 --> 01:13:40.982 All right, I'm going to do one more and then we're going to go straight into the next man with round of applause, Felix Howard. 01:13:41.002 --> 01:13:42.762 All right. 01:13:43.002 --> 01:13:43.862 That's weird. 01:13:43.982 --> 01:13:44.903 That is a bit weird, isn't it? 01:13:44.943 --> 01:13:45.383 Sorry about that. 01:13:47.119 --> 01:13:48.519 There you go, that's your round of applause. 01:13:48.539 --> 01:13:49.380 That was the next men. 01:13:49.400 --> 01:13:51.360 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 01:13:51.420 --> 01:13:58.182 We are going to be playing our Song Wars bath songs in the next half hour, but right now it's just gone 11.30 and it's time for the news. 01:13:59.102 --> 01:14:04.723 Sounding fresh as a daisy, Kate Bush with hounds of love here on BBC Six Music. 01:14:04.763 --> 01:14:10.885 This is Adam and Joe and we are going to give you another chance to hear our extraordinary Song Wars bath songs. 01:14:10.945 --> 01:14:12.265 But first, the jingle! 01:14:13.883 --> 01:14:17.774 It's time for song wars, the war of the songs. 01:14:30.738 --> 01:14:35.944 Yes, I'm going to play my song first because we played them in the other order before so we're going to swap them around. 01:14:35.984 --> 01:14:47.557 Do you anticipate, and I'm not saying this in any kind of prejudicial way, do you anticipate anyone giving you a hard time about like the flight of the concords doing Bowie's in space and then you doing Bowie's in the bath? 01:14:49.913 --> 01:14:50.533 Possibly. 01:14:50.753 --> 01:14:54.915 I mean, we've been given a hard time about being similar to Flight of the Conchords before. 01:14:55.116 --> 01:14:56.156 Similar but worse, yeah. 01:14:56.416 --> 01:14:59.778 Yeah, but I think, I mean, I've done a lot of Bowie-esque 80s songs. 01:14:59.818 --> 01:15:03.079 That's what I think might be my downfall. 01:15:03.440 --> 01:15:03.700 Right. 01:15:04.000 --> 01:15:07.061 I've done a lot of songs using that kind of voice. 01:15:08.582 --> 01:15:09.603 It's a fun voice. 01:15:10.003 --> 01:15:11.163 It's like that. 01:15:11.984 --> 01:15:14.065 It's very satisfying to do. 01:15:14.505 --> 01:15:19.246 Well, so have I. I mean, I've done loads of songs like this, you know, because it's a fun, especially when you got a cold. 01:15:19.306 --> 01:15:20.027 It's nice to talk. 01:15:20.087 --> 01:15:27.969 I mean, that's why I was excited about your vocoder action, because I thought, wow, he's got a new vocal sound at this stage in the game. 01:15:27.989 --> 01:15:28.369 That's right. 01:15:28.469 --> 01:15:29.529 That's quite an achievement. 01:15:29.769 --> 01:15:30.770 Well, you'll hear that soon. 01:15:30.810 --> 01:15:32.010 But first, here's Joe's. 01:15:32.570 --> 01:15:34.991 This is this is the song that Bowie sings. 01:15:35.051 --> 01:15:37.411 David Bowie sings when he's having a bath. 01:15:37.692 --> 01:15:39.132 Here it is called Bowie Bathtime. 01:15:48.627 --> 01:15:52.071 Brushed off my feet, tonight I deserve a special treat. 01:15:52.091 --> 01:15:56.255 I know a place I can be alone, and private pallets of enamel and chrome. 01:15:56.275 --> 01:16:00.319 A sacred space where depths are spun, and man and water live as one. 01:16:00.339 --> 01:16:04.584 Accented oils and shampoo, a place that's just beside the loo. 01:16:04.704 --> 01:16:10.110 Spish, blush, tonight's gonna be Bowie bath night. 01:16:24.838 --> 01:16:50.297 Bits and thighs, the scalding heat Nice but cutless, can't be healthy for my nose I pour a little bubble bath, I froth it up and sing and laugh And then the special business starts The scrubbing of the Bowie parts If you want to take a bath then please take my advice Be sure you don't drop off to sleep cause it's so warm and nice Don't sit there staring into space just fiddling with your winky 01:16:51.496 --> 01:17:17.402 Get the waters getting gradually more stinky Splish splosh I'm polishing up my glass spider Splosh splish I'm soaking my serious mood Splosh splish It's time to get out of the bathtub 01:17:22.361 --> 01:17:24.963 My fingers are starting to prune! 01:17:25.324 --> 01:17:30.468 Oh, I'm just eating a banana during that and I just got a rotten bit in it. 01:17:30.849 --> 01:17:31.650 Oh, I'm sorry about that. 01:17:31.670 --> 01:17:33.231 I didn't think bananas could go rotten. 01:17:33.371 --> 01:17:36.094 Well, they get brown but that's the nice... I thought they got more delicious. 01:17:36.134 --> 01:17:37.455 Yeah, that's the sugary stuff there. 01:17:37.495 --> 01:17:38.236 This one's turned. 01:17:38.476 --> 01:17:38.996 Has it? 01:17:39.016 --> 01:17:40.357 Never really tasted that before. 01:17:40.498 --> 01:17:41.198 I'm sorry. 01:17:42.139 --> 01:17:42.920 That's horrible. 01:17:43.100 --> 01:17:45.302 Do you know Bowie's just had a real spider named after him? 01:17:45.802 --> 01:17:46.082 Really? 01:17:46.182 --> 01:17:46.482 Yeah. 01:17:46.643 --> 01:17:53.368 A genuine spider, a German spider specialist told the Observer newspaper he named a new species after Bowie. 01:17:53.608 --> 01:18:00.654 Pete Yeager, who's found 200 new species of arachnids in a decade, says he's named it Heteropoda David Bowie. 01:18:01.374 --> 01:18:03.595 That's a bit like the Mercury music prize, isn't it? 01:18:03.815 --> 01:18:06.355 That guy just wants to associate himself with David Bowie. 01:18:06.655 --> 01:18:08.176 And get a bit of a story going. 01:18:08.196 --> 01:18:08.836 A bit of a boost. 01:18:08.936 --> 01:18:12.417 It's like the Mercury people just want to associate themselves with the latest rapper. 01:18:12.557 --> 01:18:14.237 That's right, isn't it? 01:18:14.257 --> 01:18:15.458 We've taught them a lesson, haven't we? 01:18:15.638 --> 01:18:16.298 We certainly have. 01:18:17.198 --> 01:18:18.438 But listen, that was song number one. 01:18:18.518 --> 01:18:19.779 That was called Bowie Bath Time. 01:18:19.819 --> 01:18:20.659 That's Joe's song. 01:18:20.839 --> 01:18:21.479 You can vote for that. 01:18:21.539 --> 01:18:25.100 Adamandjoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk is the email. 01:18:25.480 --> 01:18:27.321 Or you may prefer to vote for the following song. 01:18:27.501 --> 01:18:29.101 This is Special Bath. 01:18:38.090 --> 01:18:48.613 I love your mucky mind But your body's all so filthy Which I weren't so pleased to find yourself fit But what's up with your personal hygiene? 01:18:48.673 --> 01:19:07.579 That's why you haven't had a boyfriend since you were 13 You have the matted hair of an Australian backpacker And in your pants last night I passed up Cheers and a cracker You say you don't like bathing cause you're frightened of the water But it's getting crazier, you know I really think 01:19:08.102 --> 01:19:08.584 Thank you. 01:19:46.244 --> 01:19:51.467 It's more convenient, you know, I'll take the boring and cross on your special bar friend 01:20:13.370 --> 01:20:14.152 There we are. 01:20:14.172 --> 01:20:16.358 You see, it's not so bad, is it? 01:20:16.558 --> 01:20:17.401 It's nice. 01:20:17.862 --> 01:20:20.649 There's just a couple of rules you need to know before we go on. 01:21:18.988 --> 01:21:22.992 There you go, that's my song, Adam's song, and it's called Special Bath. 01:21:23.292 --> 01:21:28.497 And you can vote for both those songs up until midnight next Friday. 01:21:28.517 --> 01:21:29.918 That's right. 01:21:30.239 --> 01:21:30.839 Just email. 01:21:31.100 --> 01:21:43.872 Yeah, you just, you have to email your vote, adamandjo.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk, and we will put them both up on the blog, not so that you can download them, but so that you can listen to them and make sure your vote is fully considered. 01:21:44.332 --> 01:21:46.613 Yeah, and they'll also be available on the podcast as well. 01:21:46.653 --> 01:21:50.114 Of course, you can listen to them there in the context of the whole battle. 01:21:50.134 --> 01:21:53.235 And of course, we'll unveil the winner on next week's show. 01:21:53.255 --> 01:21:53.995 Very exciting. 01:21:54.035 --> 01:21:55.216 And play it in full. 01:21:55.836 --> 01:22:00.277 And the person that wins that will be like the Mercury Music Prize. 01:22:00.897 --> 01:22:01.638 I'll say that again. 01:22:01.878 --> 01:22:04.018 James, for the podcast, you can chop that bit out, right? 01:22:04.318 --> 01:22:05.739 The live listeners don't mind. 01:22:06.465 --> 01:22:08.125 It'll be like the Mercury Music Prize. 01:22:08.145 --> 01:22:09.706 Right? 01:22:10.386 --> 01:22:12.966 And the winner will just, um... Just what? 01:22:13.826 --> 01:22:15.947 Fade away and never be heard again. 01:22:15.967 --> 01:22:19.507 Ooh, you're cussing the Mercury Music Prize again! 01:22:19.647 --> 01:22:20.608 I was joking, right? 01:22:20.628 --> 01:22:21.428 I'm just joking. 01:22:22.288 --> 01:22:24.008 You know, think of all the people that have won the Mercury. 01:22:24.088 --> 01:22:25.508 The Arctic Monkeys, Pulp. 01:22:25.708 --> 01:22:27.249 They're not flashing the pants, are they? 01:22:27.709 --> 01:22:28.869 What you said was bullies. 01:22:29.029 --> 01:22:30.009 Absolute bullos. 01:22:30.229 --> 01:22:30.669 B.S. 01:22:31.229 --> 01:22:32.570 Here, let's play some real music now. 01:22:32.610 --> 01:22:34.010 This is the Dodos with fables. 01:22:34.895 --> 01:22:35.335 Very nice. 01:22:35.495 --> 01:22:37.517 That's the Dodos with Fables. 01:22:37.897 --> 01:22:41.060 Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 01:22:41.380 --> 01:22:44.162 So what's the last album you bought in a shop, Joe? 01:22:44.182 --> 01:22:44.682 Can you remember? 01:22:44.822 --> 01:22:46.043 Wow, that's a good question. 01:22:46.403 --> 01:22:49.546 I bought the prefab sprout reissue thing. 01:22:50.146 --> 01:22:51.827 Let's save the world with music. 01:22:51.868 --> 01:22:54.249 But I bought that as a download. 01:22:54.549 --> 01:22:55.030 Oh, did you? 01:22:55.650 --> 01:22:57.512 Trying to think of the last... Physical purchase. 01:22:57.732 --> 01:22:59.053 I can't remember the last time. 01:22:59.193 --> 01:22:59.813 I don't think. 01:23:00.774 --> 01:23:01.595 Flippin' Egg Tucker. 01:23:01.896 --> 01:23:03.017 It's probably quite an old one. 01:23:03.598 --> 01:23:04.439 Probably a reissue. 01:23:04.479 --> 01:23:07.703 I sort of backed up my Prince Back catalogue recently. 01:23:08.424 --> 01:23:11.908 Because that's the best thing when you find those classic albums for like three or four quid. 01:23:12.262 --> 01:23:13.243 Yes, that's true. 01:23:13.263 --> 01:23:18.465 Or a whole, like you can buy the whole of Tribe Called Quest's output for about 15 quid. 01:23:19.126 --> 01:23:20.186 Every single album. 01:23:20.386 --> 01:23:21.687 And they're amazing albums. 01:23:21.847 --> 01:23:22.107 Yeah. 01:23:22.507 --> 01:23:23.288 I know, it's ridiculous. 01:23:23.308 --> 01:23:28.070 You suddenly find Bowie albums and stuff for three quid or whatever all piled up there. 01:23:28.090 --> 01:23:32.132 And that's the other thing is that when the reissues come out and the new digital masters and stuff. 01:23:32.172 --> 01:23:33.813 The unmastered ones go really cheap. 01:23:33.853 --> 01:23:34.233 Yeah. 01:23:34.713 --> 01:23:35.314 That's true. 01:23:35.434 --> 01:23:37.895 And often that's all you need really, is those ones. 01:23:38.315 --> 01:23:40.416 You've got a little free play for the listeners right now. 01:23:40.756 --> 01:23:41.557 Yeah, good question though. 01:23:42.199 --> 01:23:42.719 Thanks very much. 01:23:43.379 --> 01:23:45.140 Get things bubbling on over. 01:23:45.340 --> 01:23:45.960 Just talking over. 01:23:46.961 --> 01:23:50.022 I was thinking like, start talking about music, right? 01:23:50.122 --> 01:23:51.302 Because this is like a music show. 01:23:51.322 --> 01:23:52.862 We just had to introduce your free play. 01:23:52.882 --> 01:23:53.703 Yeah, it all connects. 01:23:53.863 --> 01:23:54.763 So I start talking about music. 01:23:54.803 --> 01:23:55.883 It wasn't the last time you bought. 01:23:55.903 --> 01:23:56.604 It was brilliant, right? 01:23:56.864 --> 01:23:58.724 Then we just get chatting about shops. 01:23:58.824 --> 01:24:00.605 And it all ties into it. 01:24:00.625 --> 01:24:01.765 And then it's sort of Peter's house. 01:24:01.945 --> 01:24:04.606 Because none of us have really got anything to say. 01:24:04.626 --> 01:24:07.047 I can't remember what it was that we bought. 01:24:07.507 --> 01:24:07.927 That was good. 01:24:08.067 --> 01:24:13.349 Didn't really tie into all the things I was hoping it might tie into, like the death of the music industry and high street shopping in general. 01:24:14.090 --> 01:24:15.250 None of that really happened. 01:24:17.351 --> 01:24:18.791 Instead it just sort of fizzled. 01:24:19.231 --> 01:24:19.832 Here's a free play. 01:24:19.852 --> 01:24:23.213 This is the... Now, how did we agree that we're going to pronounce it? 01:24:23.253 --> 01:24:23.833 The Chai Lights. 01:24:23.853 --> 01:24:24.493 The Chai Lights. 01:24:24.513 --> 01:24:25.194 Like highlights. 01:24:25.274 --> 01:24:26.454 Yeah. 01:24:26.554 --> 01:24:27.494 This is a message. 01:24:27.795 --> 01:24:30.516 Even though you say that they're called the Chai Lights because they're from Chai Cargo. 01:24:30.676 --> 01:24:33.877 But I think if you're from Chai Cargo, you say, I'm from Chai Town. 01:24:33.957 --> 01:24:34.397 Chai Town. 01:24:34.657 --> 01:24:34.917 Right. 01:24:35.237 --> 01:24:35.457 Yeah. 01:24:35.717 --> 01:24:36.398 Usher says that. 01:24:36.518 --> 01:24:36.718 Does he? 01:24:36.738 --> 01:24:37.978 You've got to be careful the way you say that. 01:24:38.358 --> 01:24:40.239 This is a message for Broken Britain. 01:24:40.779 --> 01:24:42.019 For its shattered streets. 01:24:42.300 --> 01:24:42.740 Is it? 01:24:42.960 --> 01:24:44.680 For the terrible class divisions. 01:24:44.880 --> 01:24:45.641 For the shattered streets. 01:24:45.661 --> 01:24:46.201 That exists in Britain. 01:24:46.221 --> 01:24:47.641 With the pyramids buried beneath them. 01:24:47.681 --> 01:24:47.801 Yeah. 01:24:47.881 --> 01:24:48.922 This is called We Are Neighbours. 01:24:50.122 --> 01:24:50.422 Yeah? 01:24:50.522 --> 01:24:52.423 We're neighbours, so stop fighting each other! 01:24:52.443 --> 01:24:54.784 The sound is kind of overdriven, that song. 01:24:54.804 --> 01:24:57.645 It was sort of topping out because it was so exciting, wasn't it? 01:24:57.685 --> 01:24:57.965 Yeah. 01:24:58.185 --> 01:24:58.425 Yeah. 01:24:59.005 --> 01:25:00.225 That's exactly what's happening. 01:25:00.326 --> 01:25:01.306 That was the Chai Lights. 01:25:02.492 --> 01:25:05.613 With We Are Neighbours, this has been Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 01:25:05.653 --> 01:25:09.235 Thanks very much for listening, especially if you've listened since nine. 01:25:09.255 --> 01:25:11.876 Do you think there's anyone who's listened to the whole three hours? 01:25:11.916 --> 01:25:13.516 Maybe someone on a long car journey? 01:25:13.536 --> 01:25:14.257 Couple of people, maybe. 01:25:14.277 --> 01:25:15.037 Somebody in hospital? 01:25:15.077 --> 01:25:15.957 Someone bedridden, yeah. 01:25:16.017 --> 01:25:16.337 Yeah. 01:25:16.578 --> 01:25:17.838 Well, we really hope you've enjoyed it. 01:25:17.858 --> 01:25:18.658 Thanks for sticking with us. 01:25:18.698 --> 01:25:20.019 It's been a pleasure having you along. 01:25:20.459 --> 01:25:22.541 and we hope you'll join us at the same time next week. 01:25:22.581 --> 01:25:25.042 Stay tuned for Liz Kershaw who's coming up shortly. 01:25:25.162 --> 01:25:33.488 Don't forget you can check out our blog bbc.co.uk forward slash blogs forward slash Adam and Jo and do get in touch during the week via email or via the blog. 01:25:33.828 --> 01:25:39.792 Yeah we'd love to hear, you know, we read all your emails and stuff like that and the more the merrier so please do get in touch. 01:25:40.233 --> 01:25:42.454 Right now here's Hot Chip with over and over to play us out. 01:25:42.714 --> 01:25:44.375 Thanks very much for listening, take care, love you, bye!