WEBVTT 00:00.009 --> 00:01.832 And now, it's Adam and Jo. 00:01.892 --> 00:05.678 It is the voice of the big, pretty castle. 00:05.778 --> 00:09.143 It is the top of the apple that's wonderful. 00:09.484 --> 00:11.908 I got so bored with the last hour and year. 00:17.086 --> 00:21.970 So wait, is he running for governor, mayor or president? 00:22.331 --> 00:24.433 He's got to make up his mind, hasn't he? 00:24.453 --> 00:25.153 It's hard to tell. 00:25.193 --> 00:31.560 We've got photos of the artists we play here on our sheet that our producer James has given us and the photo of James Brown. 00:32.080 --> 00:33.401 Looks like one of his arrest photos. 00:33.421 --> 00:34.822 Yeah, that's one of his arrest photos. 00:34.842 --> 00:36.424 He doesn't look in very good shape, does he? 00:37.885 --> 00:39.206 He looks haggard and tired. 00:39.846 --> 00:42.389 His manifesto is a little confused though. 00:43.309 --> 00:45.471 I mean, fair enough, you've got to get over before you go under. 00:45.651 --> 00:46.592 That's absolutely fine. 00:46.832 --> 00:48.293 That's a good platform to stand on. 00:49.114 --> 00:51.656 But got to save you money like the mob. 00:52.477 --> 00:54.538 Is that a good thing to be telling the voters? 00:55.379 --> 00:57.960 Well, you know, the government, they're just a legitimate mob, aren't they? 00:58.180 --> 00:58.600 Right. 00:58.860 --> 01:00.060 So it's the same thing, really. 01:00.180 --> 01:01.580 He's just being upfront about it. 01:01.680 --> 01:01.960 Yeah. 01:02.380 --> 01:02.861 Being honest. 01:02.941 --> 01:03.721 Would you vote for him? 01:04.041 --> 01:04.221 Yes. 01:04.681 --> 01:06.241 Especially with that picture as well? 01:06.361 --> 01:06.581 Yes. 01:07.161 --> 01:08.142 Definitely with the picture. 01:08.702 --> 01:09.602 Hey, good morning, listeners. 01:10.182 --> 01:10.862 We're Adam and Joe. 01:10.922 --> 01:11.342 I'm Joe. 01:11.542 --> 01:11.962 I'm Adam. 01:12.223 --> 01:15.763 And welcome to Britain's top political phone-in show. 01:15.883 --> 01:19.504 For the next three hours, your chance to let off steam over the issues of the day. 01:19.984 --> 01:21.885 Gordon Brown, can we still trust him? 01:22.305 --> 01:23.765 Why can't he be straight with the country? 01:24.365 --> 01:27.286 Alistair Darling, couldn't Britain really spend its way out of recession? 01:27.506 --> 01:28.166 Alex Sammond. 01:28.386 --> 01:30.247 Thanks for sending us down the river! 01:30.607 --> 01:32.908 Swine flu, mass pandemic or mass panic? 01:33.228 --> 01:33.948 Absolutely. 01:33.968 --> 01:35.948 All the issues of the day for the next three hours. 01:36.148 --> 01:38.209 Your chance to let off some steam! 01:38.429 --> 01:39.770 Plus the millennium dome. 01:40.210 --> 01:42.170 What are we doing with this white elephant? 01:42.210 --> 01:42.910 White elephant? 01:43.771 --> 01:44.551 Oh, elephant! 01:47.359 --> 02:06.269 So get in let off some steam get angry that's what we always it's not it's not it's not it's not no it's not a political phone-in show I thought it was I thought you were saying it was I thought that was the whole point of what you were saying was that part of our rebrand Gordon Brown yeah that's all go on golden brown that's all you just have to say it like that you just have to phone in and say 02:08.885 --> 02:10.006 Yeah, that's what it's gonna be like. 02:10.846 --> 02:12.267 Three hours of that. 02:12.347 --> 02:14.068 No music, just phone it. 02:14.868 --> 02:15.709 Every now and again. 02:15.949 --> 02:17.530 We don't even have adverts as well. 02:17.830 --> 02:19.471 It's just gonna be angry people on the phone. 02:19.491 --> 02:20.131 Hardcore ranting. 02:20.691 --> 02:21.592 Hardcore ranting. 02:21.932 --> 02:25.674 Remember, remember, the 5th of September, now it's no longer so hot. 02:28.335 --> 02:30.777 Because I thought, you know, they've got one for the 5th of November. 02:31.954 --> 02:32.254 Yes. 02:32.314 --> 02:33.755 And it's cooling down. 02:34.016 --> 02:35.256 Gunpowder, treason and plot. 02:35.977 --> 02:36.637 That's good, man. 02:36.678 --> 02:37.058 Well done. 02:37.138 --> 02:41.081 I've got some other ones for like the other fifths of the months as well. 02:41.561 --> 02:42.141 Fifth of June? 02:42.161 --> 02:42.982 Do you want to hear it? 02:43.102 --> 02:43.342 Yes. 02:43.863 --> 02:44.823 Remember Baboon? 02:45.644 --> 02:46.945 It's the fifth of June soon. 02:47.545 --> 02:48.066 Probably. 02:48.426 --> 02:49.287 It will be quite hot. 02:49.927 --> 02:52.189 Yeah, the thing you're missing is that... What? 02:52.249 --> 02:56.013 I think the November the 5th one was because it was... Gunpowder, treason and plot. 02:56.033 --> 02:57.595 Yeah, fireworks night. 02:57.615 --> 02:58.696 Yeah, so I've got the rhyme. 02:58.996 --> 03:01.599 Yeah, but there was an event for the rhyme to commemorate. 03:01.719 --> 03:03.380 It probably, it will be hot. 03:03.841 --> 03:06.283 Was there something baboon related on the 5th of June? 03:06.303 --> 03:07.564 That was mainly for the rhyme. 03:09.126 --> 03:09.326 Right. 03:09.426 --> 03:10.707 But it's aimed at baboons. 03:10.968 --> 03:11.608 Alright, how about this? 03:12.765 --> 03:13.226 5th March. 03:13.827 --> 03:16.290 Remember the larch on the 5th day of March. 03:16.631 --> 03:18.313 The tree has been growing a lot. 03:19.836 --> 03:20.697 Now that's touching. 03:20.737 --> 03:21.518 That's very sweet. 03:21.578 --> 03:22.860 Well it's poetic, isn't it? 03:22.980 --> 03:23.982 Yes it is poetic, isn't it? 03:24.002 --> 03:24.603 Remember the larch. 03:25.919 --> 03:36.765 Because people tend to forget about the Larch in March, you know, they're still excited about they're getting over Christmas in the New Year festivities and stuff and they they're still adjusting to the new year. 03:36.785 --> 03:37.685 Do one for December. 03:38.685 --> 03:39.626 What rhymes with December? 03:39.666 --> 03:42.167 Remember, remember the 5th of December. 03:42.267 --> 03:48.551 Oh, soon there'll be presents and a cake tot. 03:51.682 --> 03:52.303 of whiskey. 03:53.785 --> 03:55.386 Here's some Florence and the Machine. 03:55.426 --> 03:56.327 This is Drumming Song. 03:56.447 --> 03:56.788 There you go. 03:56.808 --> 03:59.571 That's Florence and the Machine with Drumming Song. 03:59.951 --> 04:02.494 She's been nominated for a Mercury Prize, is that right? 04:02.774 --> 04:03.515 And her machine. 04:03.795 --> 04:04.075 Yeah. 04:04.096 --> 04:06.738 She's a, she's a Camberwell girl. 04:06.919 --> 04:07.059 Is she? 04:07.079 --> 04:07.659 Local to me. 04:07.960 --> 04:08.981 Saff London Girl. 04:09.461 --> 04:09.702 Yeah. 04:10.262 --> 04:11.763 Do you ever see her walking around with that machine? 04:11.783 --> 04:13.084 A lot of the time, a lot of the time. 04:13.104 --> 04:14.505 Do you prefer her or the machine? 04:15.706 --> 04:30.976 I don't know, she would, you know, I saw her on a phone, I heard her on a phone in the other day, it was on Radio One and the DJ, I think it was Joe Wiley, had questions from other Radio One DJs to ask her and she had a question from Chris Miles and the question was, what is the machine? 04:31.897 --> 04:36.400 And I know, and Florence just went, was that it? 04:37.000 --> 04:37.841 Is that his question? 04:38.021 --> 04:39.062 It's not very original, is it? 04:39.082 --> 04:40.363 She speaks like a bloke. 04:40.824 --> 04:43.246 So that's a very roundabout way of dissing me. 04:43.526 --> 04:44.267 And Moils, yeah. 04:44.347 --> 04:46.549 And lumping you in the same bag as Moils, which is a good bag. 04:46.589 --> 04:47.810 It's a very popular bag. 04:47.830 --> 04:48.671 It's a successful bag. 04:48.711 --> 04:49.631 Millions of listeners. 04:49.952 --> 04:50.152 Yeah. 04:50.772 --> 04:52.754 But it's also stained. 04:53.095 --> 04:54.536 It's a little cramped in the bag. 04:54.616 --> 04:54.916 Yeah. 04:55.357 --> 04:55.937 But I don't mind. 04:55.957 --> 04:56.538 It's got some holes in it. 04:56.798 --> 04:57.539 I like it there. 04:57.779 --> 04:58.039 Yeah. 04:58.359 --> 04:58.660 All right. 04:58.820 --> 05:00.001 I think that's a funny question. 05:00.181 --> 05:01.943 No, I don't think she knows what the machine is. 05:02.143 --> 05:02.283 Yeah. 05:02.683 --> 05:02.963 Yeah. 05:03.264 --> 05:06.947 People have got some issues with some of my questions for Tom York that were on the blog. 05:07.167 --> 05:07.487 Yes. 05:07.987 --> 05:12.611 I noticed a couple of comments there saying, Adam Buxton, I mean, it was a sort of a backhanded compliment. 05:12.851 --> 05:18.476 Adam Buxton gets a lot out of a lot of lame material, said someone, like the comedy scientists on the blog. 05:18.616 --> 05:19.457 Well, look at the material. 05:19.497 --> 05:22.579 I've run the material through the computer. 05:22.839 --> 05:25.201 You can't start feeling vulnerable about, like, blog comments. 05:25.261 --> 05:26.442 I'm not vulnerable about it. 05:26.462 --> 05:29.164 I just thought, is my material being judged now? 05:29.405 --> 05:31.006 I mean, that's a little bit vulnerable. 05:31.559 --> 05:35.021 Well... My material's brilliant! 05:35.061 --> 05:36.001 What are you talking about? 05:36.041 --> 05:37.041 You don't know who posted that. 05:37.101 --> 05:38.422 It could be a two-year-old. 05:39.222 --> 05:41.503 It's like taking advice from graffiti on walls. 05:41.763 --> 05:41.963 Yeah. 05:42.424 --> 05:43.684 Well, graffiti on walls is usually a problem. 05:43.704 --> 05:44.425 I was just surprised. 05:44.485 --> 05:51.067 It just seemed like if they were going to start thinking about the material after they've listened to our show... I think the point they made... It was a flattering point. 05:51.127 --> 05:56.810 It was saying that, you know, you do lame material, but then you make it really charming by being vulnerable. 05:56.910 --> 05:58.711 Just the idea that it's actual material. 05:59.171 --> 05:59.371 Yeah. 05:59.671 --> 06:04.575 is amusing to me, but anyone thinks that you or I come up with, and I'm lumping you in with this as well. 06:04.615 --> 06:04.975 Thanks a lot. 06:05.596 --> 06:10.740 Because let me tell you, my material makes your material look like tissue. 06:10.760 --> 06:11.941 I'm dressed in material. 06:12.462 --> 06:13.883 That's how much material I've got. 06:13.923 --> 06:15.104 My clothes are made out of it. 06:15.324 --> 06:16.705 Yeah, but look at my material. 06:16.745 --> 06:17.786 I sleep under material. 06:17.806 --> 06:19.707 I'm just looking at my material right now and my green jacket. 06:19.747 --> 06:20.308 It's a little frayed. 06:20.428 --> 06:21.289 It's totally frayed. 06:21.329 --> 06:23.190 It's got huge holes in it. 06:23.731 --> 06:26.433 In every respect, my material is coming apart. 06:26.733 --> 06:29.214 So listen, we're neglecting Black Squadron a little bit, aren't we? 06:29.554 --> 06:30.194 We are a bit. 06:30.254 --> 06:34.636 To be perfectly honest, Black Squadron, your commanders are confused after their winter break, summer break. 06:34.796 --> 06:34.996 See? 06:35.156 --> 06:37.637 They don't even know what season it is. 06:37.657 --> 06:38.518 You had an idea, though. 06:38.558 --> 06:41.639 I like the... Why don't you just go for the simple one? 06:41.659 --> 06:42.539 Go for the simple command? 06:42.559 --> 06:42.979 Yeah, sure. 06:43.219 --> 06:43.539 Alright. 06:43.619 --> 06:45.040 Well, we need to play a record after the 06:45.140 --> 06:46.041 They're a simple squadron. 06:46.081 --> 06:47.802 All right, let me tell you about the record we're going to play. 06:47.822 --> 06:49.443 It's a free play of mine. 06:49.483 --> 06:50.063 It's Spoon. 06:50.544 --> 06:52.965 It's one of the first Spoon tracks that I ever heard and I love it. 06:53.005 --> 06:54.406 It's called That's the Way We Get By. 06:54.446 --> 06:57.468 But first, here is the command for Black Squadron. 06:57.648 --> 06:58.649 Do we need to boot them up? 06:58.689 --> 07:00.350 Stand them to attention with the intro jingle. 07:00.410 --> 07:00.810 Here it is. 07:00.830 --> 07:05.193 Black Squadron! 07:05.213 --> 07:07.595 Always catch the beginning of the show. 07:08.075 --> 07:10.136 Black Squadron don't want to miss a thing. 07:10.436 --> 07:12.838 That's not the way Black Squadron rolls. 07:16.235 --> 07:37.223 Went to bed at a reasonable hour Gotta be sharp on Saturday morning That's the secret of the squadron's power Yeah, Black Squadron, stand by for your command If you're alone, this might not work But if you're with somebody else, then the moment I say this word you have to do it to the person you're with Ready? 07:37.623 --> 07:37.883 Ready 07:38.991 --> 07:39.631 TICKLE! 07:40.151 --> 07:46.793 That's Orange Juice, and that we think is a session version, because we've both got that album, haven't we, Adam? 07:46.953 --> 07:48.314 Poor old soul, yeah. 07:48.334 --> 07:53.976 The version that I'm familiar with is more laid-back, and it's got more of a groove on it, but that's a good one as well. 07:54.416 --> 07:55.236 Lovely bit of Orange Juice. 07:55.256 --> 07:57.157 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music. 07:57.177 --> 07:59.057 I wonder if Black Squadron are tickling each other. 07:59.077 --> 08:00.698 Do you think it's like a kids' show, this... 08:01.638 --> 08:03.119 It's basically like a toddler's program. 08:03.139 --> 08:06.001 Oh, Saturday morning, but tickling isn't necessarily a childish thing. 08:06.421 --> 08:07.261 It can be dangerous. 08:07.741 --> 08:08.082 That's right. 08:08.122 --> 08:12.644 I mean, if you were driving in a car there and someone started tickling you on the command of this show. 08:12.664 --> 08:13.585 That was absolutely lethal. 08:13.605 --> 08:14.565 It could have been fatal. 08:14.585 --> 08:15.426 So what are you saying? 08:15.646 --> 08:17.527 So I'm saying that's not for kids, is it, death? 08:17.867 --> 08:18.708 Oh, I see. 08:18.788 --> 08:19.548 They can't handle it. 08:19.588 --> 08:22.630 You're saying that if a commando was to do it, it's a very different 08:22.910 --> 08:23.591 Exactly. 08:23.631 --> 08:27.173 Tickling is something that real squadies are trained to do. 08:27.734 --> 08:31.076 You can disarm a terrorist with a carefully placed tickle. 08:31.136 --> 08:32.117 Absolutely you can. 08:32.257 --> 08:34.719 Tickle them in the right place and they're forced to drop the gun. 08:35.139 --> 08:36.100 Not with joy. 08:36.240 --> 08:41.384 I wouldn't be surprised on a serious note if they used tickling in places like Guantanamo. 08:42.105 --> 08:42.826 As a torture. 08:42.986 --> 08:44.388 Yeah, tickle... Well, that's different. 08:44.428 --> 08:44.868 That's dark. 08:44.908 --> 08:45.349 Tickle torture. 08:45.369 --> 08:45.829 That's dark. 08:45.909 --> 08:48.532 I'm saying this is a serious pony show, isn't it? 08:48.592 --> 08:49.653 Yeah, it is. 08:49.954 --> 08:50.254 You're right. 08:50.274 --> 08:53.858 When you're a child and someone tickles you and then doesn't stop. 08:54.098 --> 08:54.318 Yeah. 08:54.619 --> 08:55.820 You can nearly suffocate. 08:55.860 --> 08:56.321 It's awful. 08:56.401 --> 08:57.081 It's horrible. 08:57.322 --> 09:03.068 But I'd like to see in a Bond film James Bond work his way through a room of baddies just with carefully placed tickling. 09:03.268 --> 09:04.369 A nice bit of tickling. 09:04.389 --> 09:04.870 Don't you think? 09:04.970 --> 09:06.911 You know, where's the best place to tickle someone? 09:06.951 --> 09:09.354 Because the obvious thing is to go for under the armpits there. 09:09.374 --> 09:09.714 The ribs. 09:09.814 --> 09:10.675 It's the ribs, I think. 09:10.755 --> 09:11.215 You reckon. 09:11.716 --> 09:14.919 A very sudden, you launch a hand suddenly towards the ribs. 09:14.979 --> 09:15.199 Yeah. 09:15.739 --> 09:17.401 And that's guaranteed to get any party started. 09:17.441 --> 09:20.524 Have you never tried doing the thigh tickle? 09:21.785 --> 09:23.066 The thigh pinch is effective. 09:23.086 --> 09:23.646 The inner thigh. 09:23.666 --> 09:27.410 Go in for the inner thigh and really root around in the inner thigh there. 09:27.430 --> 09:29.672 Well, you have to do that with someone you're intimate with. 09:30.367 --> 09:30.747 Yeah. 09:30.887 --> 09:31.207 Do you? 09:31.267 --> 09:32.268 Who are you doing that to? 09:32.288 --> 09:33.368 I don't know, anyone really. 09:33.388 --> 09:34.369 Did you do that to Tom York? 09:34.429 --> 09:35.309 Yeah, big reaction. 09:35.529 --> 09:36.610 You know, I haven't done it to Tom York. 09:36.730 --> 09:38.571 I did, but I should... You should tickle celebrities. 09:38.631 --> 09:39.991 Well, that could be our new thing. 09:40.011 --> 09:42.352 I did tickle Johnny Greenwood from Radio. 09:42.792 --> 09:44.073 I tickled him on his buttocks. 09:44.473 --> 09:44.833 Did you? 09:44.953 --> 09:48.235 I reached around and I grabbed his... I was probably working on a song about that. 09:48.435 --> 09:52.857 I grabbed his buttocks and I did a little tickle and he looked appalled. 09:54.057 --> 09:55.518 I mean, I really regretted doing it. 09:55.638 --> 09:56.018 Did you? 09:56.099 --> 09:56.339 Yeah. 09:56.399 --> 09:57.060 Why did you do it? 09:57.120 --> 09:58.481 Because I was overexcited. 09:58.641 --> 09:59.001 Really? 09:59.162 --> 09:59.322 Yeah. 09:59.362 --> 10:00.923 Was he in a happy mood, or was he? 10:01.084 --> 10:01.464 He was. 10:01.644 --> 10:04.987 He seemed to be in a happy mood, which is why I thought maybe it would be a good thing to do. 10:05.007 --> 10:09.212 I think the misconception is that tickling someone can make an unhappy person happy. 10:09.232 --> 10:09.952 That is true. 10:09.993 --> 10:11.314 It doesn't work that way. 10:11.334 --> 10:12.255 It makes them angry. 10:12.555 --> 10:17.100 But listen, under normal circumstances, tickling the buttocks is very, gets good results. 10:17.120 --> 10:18.861 You've come anywhere near my buttocks. 10:19.522 --> 10:20.562 Well, I will be so happy. 10:20.582 --> 10:24.163 You're a good example of a person I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it with. 10:24.823 --> 10:25.143 Really? 10:26.323 --> 10:27.124 It wouldn't occur to me. 10:27.144 --> 10:28.224 There's a lot to tickle here. 10:28.244 --> 10:29.864 There's a whole lot of tickling. 10:30.144 --> 10:30.964 That's what confuses people. 10:30.984 --> 10:31.824 They don't know where to start. 10:31.985 --> 10:32.265 Right. 10:32.785 --> 10:32.865 Yeah. 10:32.885 --> 10:33.805 Where would you like to be? 10:33.825 --> 10:34.605 There's miles of me. 10:34.865 --> 10:37.366 I mean, no one likes, no one really likes being tickled, do they? 10:37.786 --> 10:40.546 And my daughter I've noticed, my young daughter absolutely loves it. 10:40.626 --> 10:42.147 My little babies love being tickled. 10:42.227 --> 10:43.027 Not my daughter. 10:43.047 --> 10:44.427 She's fed up with it, yeah. 10:45.007 --> 10:47.088 She looks at me with a look of utter... Get off! 10:47.328 --> 10:47.968 What are you doing? 10:48.508 --> 10:48.608 Ah! 10:48.768 --> 10:49.248 Get off! 10:49.861 --> 10:50.922 That's the only word she can say. 11:10.680 --> 11:10.940 Is it? 11:11.141 --> 11:12.362 Okay, he's gonna tell us about it. 11:12.422 --> 11:13.603 This is Song Away. 11:13.743 --> 11:14.804 That's, uh, Hocky. 11:14.964 --> 11:17.766 They're from Portland, Oregon in the United States. 11:18.227 --> 11:20.509 Portland is the hot new town, right? 11:20.569 --> 11:27.315 I mean, that's... It used to be Austin, Texas for a while, and Austin may still be hot, but Portland is now absolutely where it's at. 11:27.375 --> 11:28.456 Have you ever been there? 11:28.696 --> 11:29.297 No, never been. 11:29.717 --> 11:30.978 Ever been to Austin, Texas? 11:31.118 --> 11:31.919 No, we'd love to go. 11:31.999 --> 11:32.459 We'd love to. 11:32.480 --> 11:33.300 Oh, you've been there. 11:33.400 --> 11:33.661 Have you? 11:33.721 --> 11:34.021 Was it nice? 11:34.041 --> 11:35.102 Yes, it was very nice. 11:35.422 --> 11:35.703 Yeah. 11:35.923 --> 11:37.785 Yeah, the Alamo Drafthouse cinema's there. 11:37.805 --> 11:38.646 That's all I cared about. 11:38.827 --> 11:39.507 Full of cowboys. 11:39.888 --> 11:40.689 Full of cowboys. 11:40.729 --> 11:41.670 Cinema for cowboys. 11:41.810 --> 11:43.352 Yeah, did you wear your cowboy boots then? 11:43.373 --> 11:43.533 Yes. 11:43.793 --> 11:44.734 Have a pistol fight? 11:44.935 --> 11:45.996 Do you think they're good then, Hocky? 11:46.016 --> 11:46.657 Did you enjoy that? 11:46.837 --> 11:48.419 I asked you if you had a pistol fight! 11:48.519 --> 11:49.380 No, it's a cinema! 11:50.041 --> 11:51.503 I had some food and watched the film. 11:51.583 --> 11:53.426 You were a little grumpy about Hocky, I thought. 11:53.886 --> 11:59.392 Well, I think it's mysterious how new bands appear on stations like this, you know? 12:00.233 --> 12:01.275 Who chooses these new bands? 12:01.295 --> 12:02.676 Who chooses which one to push? 12:02.936 --> 12:05.640 I don't know, the guy, there's some guy who listens to all the music. 12:05.660 --> 12:07.742 They sounded a tiny bit undistinguished, I thought. 12:07.822 --> 12:08.162 Really? 12:08.343 --> 12:11.146 Yeah, I mean, that's a controversial thing to have an opinion, I know. 12:11.166 --> 12:12.087 Bit workman-like. 12:12.588 --> 12:13.288 Yeah, tiny bit. 12:13.308 --> 12:14.670 I mean, maybe I need to listen to them more. 12:14.830 --> 12:18.653 Well, they were very much in the thrall of... There must be millions of exciting new bands. 12:18.713 --> 12:19.553 Why hockey? 12:19.573 --> 12:20.714 I mean, they look cool. 12:21.595 --> 12:22.275 We got a picture of them. 12:22.315 --> 12:24.197 They're young and good looking, stripey shirts. 12:24.397 --> 12:25.858 You've answered your own question then, haven't you? 12:26.098 --> 12:27.419 Young and good looking with stripey shirts. 12:27.439 --> 12:28.780 Yeah, that's all you need. 12:29.721 --> 12:30.441 And they sound nice. 12:30.461 --> 12:31.362 I thought that was nice. 12:31.702 --> 12:32.283 It was nice. 12:32.303 --> 12:33.664 You're right to be positive about it. 12:33.704 --> 12:34.784 Yeah, I thought that was nice. 12:35.905 --> 12:36.966 Oh, come on. 12:36.986 --> 12:37.886 I thought it was nice. 12:38.247 --> 12:38.907 It was really nice. 12:38.927 --> 12:39.147 It was good. 12:39.167 --> 12:45.131 You know what, I was doing a bit of name dropping there before and about tickling Jonny Greenwood's Beautiful House. 12:45.151 --> 12:45.311 Yes. 12:45.531 --> 12:46.812 Because I was at Reading last weekend. 12:46.932 --> 12:47.213 Right. 12:47.493 --> 12:49.394 I saw Radiohead in full swing. 12:49.454 --> 12:57.639 I mean, that was, I think that's going to go down in the annals of history as being one of the all-time great shows at Reading or any other festival. 12:58.120 --> 13:01.422 But I met lots of groovy young bands, bumped into Vampire Weekend. 13:02.202 --> 13:03.043 Very nice, boys. 13:03.383 --> 13:05.665 Oh, so you're worried you might bump into hockey and they might have heard that. 13:05.685 --> 13:07.366 Well, this is what I'm building up to, yeah. 13:07.386 --> 13:07.507 Yeah. 13:07.847 --> 13:11.870 Because when I do, I'm going to be able to say, listen, that wasn't me, that was Tall Joe Cornballs. 13:12.150 --> 13:12.991 Yeah. 13:13.091 --> 13:14.532 So don't punch me in the face, hockey. 13:14.812 --> 13:15.013 Yeah. 13:15.133 --> 13:17.475 Because I also bumped into Gold and Silver's Drummer. 13:17.935 --> 13:18.756 We've played them on this show. 13:18.776 --> 13:19.676 Yeah, we like them, though. 13:19.777 --> 13:20.397 They're fantastic. 13:20.417 --> 13:21.618 We've been very positive about them. 13:22.519 --> 13:26.502 So, you know, when I, if and when I bump into hockey, I don't want any aggravation. 13:26.682 --> 13:29.725 I don't want a hockey puck right in my, upside my head. 13:30.425 --> 13:31.906 That is what I'm saying, okay? 13:32.046 --> 13:33.487 I'm looking forward to having a fight with hockey. 13:33.647 --> 13:33.907 Really? 13:33.927 --> 13:34.287 Yeah. 13:34.367 --> 13:37.309 I mean, there's only one guy that looks a bit tasty in hockey. 13:37.850 --> 13:39.050 Which one's that, second from the right? 13:39.430 --> 13:41.552 No, the guy on the end with the little moustachio. 13:43.333 --> 13:44.433 He looks overly tasty. 13:45.154 --> 13:46.074 He looks heavily flavoured. 13:46.094 --> 13:49.016 The rest of hockey aren't going to give you much trouble, I don't think. 13:49.056 --> 13:50.517 Second from the right looks like it's trouble. 13:50.737 --> 13:52.778 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 13:52.838 --> 13:52.978 It's 9.30. 13:53.659 --> 13:54.259 Time for the news. 13:54.439 --> 13:54.879 Very nice. 13:54.939 --> 13:57.000 That's Radiohead, of course, with no surprises. 13:57.180 --> 14:02.503 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music and we won't go on about Radiohead anymore. 14:02.563 --> 14:05.685 Suffice to say that it was a wonderful show at Reading last weekend. 14:06.105 --> 14:09.567 Thanks also to everyone who came along to my show that I did there. 14:09.927 --> 14:17.211 Many Black Squadron members came along and there was a very loud bit of Stevenage before I went on which mystified the 14:18.411 --> 14:21.697 The MC, he'd never heard of Stephen, or our show. 14:22.618 --> 14:25.523 And when various members of the crowd started shouting, Stephen! 14:26.297 --> 14:28.258 He said, he was confused. 14:28.278 --> 14:29.479 He didn't know what the hell was going on. 14:29.499 --> 14:30.279 He said, what's Steven? 14:30.300 --> 14:31.360 What happens if I shout Steven? 14:31.380 --> 14:32.641 And they said, go on, shout Steven. 14:33.221 --> 14:36.743 So the MC finally shouted Steven and there was a very loud, just coming. 14:37.224 --> 14:40.666 And if you don't know what that means, listeners, then let me explain. 14:40.686 --> 14:45.229 That's just something that you can shout if you want to identify other people that listen to this show. 14:46.189 --> 14:53.674 If you shout Steven in a crowded place and someone shouts, just coming back at you, then you know that they are also listeners to this program. 14:53.934 --> 14:56.057 I got a couple of shouts in the street during the week. 14:56.518 --> 14:56.838 Oh yeah? 14:57.299 --> 14:58.941 On Oxford Street, did you respond? 14:59.582 --> 15:05.710 Well, I was walking down a very crowded Oxford Street, and from somewhere in the crowd came Stephen! 15:06.536 --> 15:08.738 And it was a bit like a sort of a 50s horror film. 15:09.318 --> 15:14.842 I didn't know where it had come from, or who'd said it when I looked round, all I could see were blank faces. 15:15.562 --> 15:17.264 So I was too confused, I missed the moment. 15:18.064 --> 15:21.006 You see, you shouldn't look around even, it should just immediately come out. 15:21.186 --> 15:21.587 Just come in! 15:21.907 --> 15:28.091 And another one I got in, I was walking through Soho, and a young man walked past me, and went, 15:29.352 --> 15:30.433 Like that. 15:30.793 --> 15:32.214 And I was again so surprised. 15:32.554 --> 15:35.857 I think I went hey, or hi, possibly, at best. 15:35.917 --> 15:36.817 But I'm no good at it. 15:36.897 --> 15:37.698 You are not good at it. 15:37.718 --> 15:38.799 I can't respond to it. 15:38.839 --> 15:41.020 Listen, I was in an airport toilet. 15:41.381 --> 15:41.641 Really? 15:41.681 --> 15:44.182 And there was a Steven from inside the cubicle. 15:44.283 --> 15:44.623 Really? 15:44.643 --> 15:45.363 Next to mine. 15:45.403 --> 15:46.764 From inside the urinal. 15:47.205 --> 15:48.185 No, in a cubicle. 15:48.606 --> 15:50.527 I couldn't even see where it had come from. 15:50.547 --> 15:52.428 I just heard from within the cubicle. 15:52.448 --> 15:53.269 I was washing my hands. 15:53.329 --> 15:54.189 I hear, Steven? 15:56.731 --> 16:01.174 So I gave him a just-coming, you know, but it was pretty weird for me and everyone else in the lavatory at the time. 16:01.194 --> 16:06.437 They just thought, wow, this is a special new type of cottaging that's going on in the airport. 16:07.097 --> 16:08.017 I'll be back later. 16:08.598 --> 16:08.918 Anyway. 16:09.238 --> 16:09.878 I've got to practice. 16:09.918 --> 16:13.921 We've got to figure out some way that I can get up to speed, you know, sharpen up my Stephen responses. 16:13.961 --> 16:14.541 You really do. 16:14.661 --> 16:15.602 Sort of a training camp. 16:15.822 --> 16:16.162 Stephen! 16:17.242 --> 16:18.943 Look, you see, you can't even do it on air! 16:19.324 --> 16:20.184 Try again, try again. 16:20.224 --> 16:20.624 Stephen! 16:24.249 --> 16:25.814 You know, just coming. 16:26.777 --> 16:27.640 Coming is fine. 16:27.800 --> 16:30.568 If you're embarrassed about the just coming, you just keep coming. 16:31.230 --> 16:31.812 Something like that. 16:33.736 --> 16:34.196 Can't do it. 16:34.636 --> 16:36.957 Last bit of Radiohead related nonsense. 16:37.257 --> 16:45.560 Don't forget that there is a so-called interview with myself and Tom York available to see, exclusive to our BBC Six music blog. 16:45.920 --> 16:47.161 You can check that out right now. 16:47.561 --> 16:52.483 The blog can be found at bbc.co.uk slash blogs slash Adam and Joe. 16:52.943 --> 16:55.944 And don't forget you can just email us about general bits and bobs. 16:56.324 --> 16:58.625 The blog tends to be targeted comments, doesn't it? 16:59.205 --> 17:00.346 arranged under themes. 17:00.866 --> 17:09.629 You know, but if you've just got general wiffle waffle that you want to send our way, then the email address is adamandjoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 17:10.049 --> 17:11.330 You know, we love your emails. 17:11.570 --> 17:12.310 Made up jokes and stuff. 17:12.330 --> 17:15.431 We might have a few made up jokes that we've accumulated over the summer later in the show. 17:15.531 --> 17:22.334 And you can text us, of course, at any point on 64046, and text will be charged at your standard message rate. 17:22.734 --> 17:27.055 You know, Zane Lowe says all that stuff incredibly fast when he's on his show. 17:27.195 --> 17:28.576 He's a good DJ. 17:28.656 --> 17:32.797 But I wonder if he might get a knuckle rap because he says it so fast, you know what I mean? 17:33.077 --> 17:33.937 No, that's allowed, isn't it? 17:33.957 --> 17:37.818 Because they say that stuff very fast at the end of mortgage adverts on the radio, don't they? 17:37.838 --> 17:40.239 If you go too fast, though, it becomes incomprehensible. 17:40.259 --> 17:40.359 Yeah. 17:40.799 --> 17:42.780 I mean, he does it, like, as a thing. 17:42.840 --> 17:43.741 He does it amazing. 17:43.801 --> 17:45.662 He's an information machine, though, isn't he? 17:45.682 --> 17:45.942 Yeah. 17:46.222 --> 17:49.504 He's a walking encyclopedia of useless rock triffs. 17:49.845 --> 17:50.065 Yeah. 17:50.205 --> 17:51.105 And contemporary rock triffs. 17:51.125 --> 17:52.166 And useful rock triffs. 17:52.186 --> 17:52.466 Yeah. 17:52.646 --> 17:54.327 And very useful rock triffs. 17:54.848 --> 17:55.048 Mmm. 17:56.369 --> 17:57.990 He was wondering around at Reading as well. 17:58.070 --> 17:58.730 He's a nice guy. 17:58.750 --> 17:59.591 He's a very nice guy. 18:00.191 --> 18:02.853 Anyway, here's Friendly Fires with Kiss of Life. 18:03.053 --> 18:05.895 That was Friendly Fires there with Kiss of Life. 18:06.015 --> 18:13.060 Now, they're one of four bands presenting shows for Six Music on Sunday afternoons in the run-up to the Mercury Music Prize, right? 18:13.440 --> 18:20.865 That's the big event in the music calendar around this time of year, amongst all the other big events in the music calendar, right? 18:20.965 --> 18:21.746 Wouldn't you say, Joe? 18:21.866 --> 18:23.847 Yeah, yeah, I would say that. 18:23.887 --> 18:28.390 The horrors are actually presenting the first of the shows tomorrow afternoon from 3.30. 18:28.490 --> 18:29.911 What's that gonna be like? 18:30.571 --> 18:31.912 Yeah, I mean, can they speak? 18:32.632 --> 18:34.452 They're like vampire people, though. 18:34.492 --> 18:40.194 They stay up for four or five days on the trot, and I wouldn't think that they would be in any way articulate. 18:40.434 --> 18:41.554 They're quite posh, the horrors. 18:41.634 --> 18:41.894 Are they? 18:42.154 --> 18:42.754 Yeah, they are. 18:42.954 --> 18:43.755 Like posh vampires. 18:43.775 --> 18:45.495 Yeah, they're very, very posh vampires. 18:46.175 --> 18:47.816 So I think they're very well-spoken. 18:48.396 --> 18:48.876 Probably. 18:49.556 --> 18:50.516 I like the horrors. 18:50.596 --> 18:52.857 I'm going to drink your blood. 18:53.077 --> 18:55.978 I like the one with the extended pudding bowl haircut. 18:56.798 --> 18:57.238 You know what I mean? 18:57.278 --> 19:00.920 It's brave to have a pudding bowl, but then to let the fringe actually descend beneath the nose. 19:02.661 --> 19:03.902 That's really going out on a limb. 19:03.942 --> 19:04.402 I like it. 19:04.582 --> 19:04.863 Yeah. 19:05.423 --> 19:10.065 Well, tune in tomorrow at 3.30 and you'll be able to hear how they get on here at Six Music. 19:10.426 --> 19:24.974 Now, I took one of the other people that was lurking around at Reading, right, was Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grind, Harry Pooter and his buddy Ron Johns. 19:25.154 --> 19:25.594 Ron Weasley. 19:25.754 --> 19:25.994 Yeah. 19:26.495 --> 19:28.856 They were wandering around there and they were sort of disguised. 19:29.057 --> 19:32.199 They had crazy hats and stuff on and goggles and things like that. 19:32.239 --> 19:33.680 Stop them from being mobbed by muggles. 19:34.201 --> 19:39.425 Uh, yeah, but they, I mean, it didn't really because the muggles were absolutely swamping them and taking pictures. 19:39.445 --> 19:40.285 They were really nice though. 19:40.305 --> 19:44.388 They seemed every, you know, they were very smiley enough for having their pictures taken and stuff like that. 19:44.408 --> 19:45.009 I like them both. 19:45.069 --> 19:47.111 I've especially got a soft spot for Grinty. 19:47.431 --> 19:47.931 Yeah, do you? 19:48.111 --> 19:50.093 Yeah, I think he's Malcolm McDowell for the noughties. 19:50.453 --> 19:50.793 Yeah. 19:51.254 --> 19:53.676 Do you think he's got the longevity there? 19:53.696 --> 19:54.236 Is he going to last? 19:54.276 --> 19:55.898 Well, it depends on his career choices. 19:55.938 --> 19:59.941 He could either be Malcolm McDowell or he could be the guy from Confessions of a Window Cleaner. 20:00.722 --> 20:01.743 He could go either way. 20:02.283 --> 20:03.945 His choice is so far Thunderpants. 20:05.017 --> 20:05.838 That was very young, though. 20:05.858 --> 20:06.679 He was very young. 20:06.979 --> 20:08.180 He did a driving school one. 20:08.280 --> 20:09.322 It's early days for both of them. 20:09.502 --> 20:09.962 Very early days. 20:09.982 --> 20:10.503 They're very young. 20:11.103 --> 20:11.824 Let's not judge them. 20:11.844 --> 20:15.508 There was a very snippy interview with him in some men's mag. 20:15.528 --> 20:15.889 With Grinty? 20:16.069 --> 20:17.811 Yeah, in FHM or something like that. 20:17.851 --> 20:19.092 Really? 20:19.392 --> 20:22.035 The whole thrust of the thing was like, you're washed up. 20:22.275 --> 20:23.797 You're never going to have a career. 20:24.157 --> 20:26.279 And they were really giving him a hard time about it. 20:27.100 --> 20:29.862 Um, I thought he dealt with it very manfully in the article. 20:30.342 --> 20:31.163 I wish him all the best. 20:31.483 --> 20:34.765 Anyway, we went to see Harry Pooter and the Half-Blueed Plant. 20:34.965 --> 20:35.486 Oh, did you? 20:35.686 --> 20:35.906 Yeah. 20:35.926 --> 20:36.727 I haven't seen it yet. 20:36.747 --> 20:40.389 Me and my boys, they were absolutely desperate to see it, even though they're pretty young. 20:40.429 --> 20:42.050 I mean, five and seven? 20:43.031 --> 20:44.132 You know, and it's a twelve. 20:44.772 --> 20:46.833 So it was up to me as the parent to make the call. 20:47.754 --> 20:50.576 And, um, I was a little bit worried it would be too scary. 20:50.816 --> 20:51.977 Actually, it wasn't too scary. 20:52.077 --> 20:54.118 What it was, was too boring. 20:54.498 --> 20:55.359 It was long, isn't it? 20:55.399 --> 20:55.979 How long is it? 20:57.100 --> 20:59.242 It's two and a quarter of a half years. 20:59.502 --> 21:00.903 It's two and a half hours. 21:01.364 --> 21:03.185 Two and a half hours. 21:03.466 --> 21:06.989 I mean, I would be bored in any film that lasted that long, you know what I mean? 21:07.629 --> 21:10.732 And the thing is that they've, it's David Yates, is it the director? 21:10.932 --> 21:11.192 Yes. 21:11.472 --> 21:14.355 He's got a lot of character work going on in there. 21:14.835 --> 21:18.938 And they are really, I mean, hooray, there's some great character development. 21:19.298 --> 21:21.800 But that's a little bit lost on the under-10s. 21:22.521 --> 21:27.624 And my own fault for taking them, you know, it is a 12A, certainly, perhaps the 12-year-old. 21:27.664 --> 21:28.185 What was happening? 21:28.225 --> 21:29.085 What were your kids doing? 21:29.165 --> 21:31.467 How did they just, you know, show their boredom? 21:31.607 --> 21:39.292 It started off very early on with one of them getting some popcorn lodged in his throat, which happens quite a lot. 21:39.312 --> 21:40.733 I forgot that it happened last time. 21:40.794 --> 21:42.655 I've just got to stop buying the popcorn. 21:43.255 --> 21:46.018 But about 10 minutes in, right, there was a tap on my shoulder. 21:46.218 --> 21:48.380 I got popcorn in my brain. 21:49.140 --> 21:52.964 So I was like, okay, have some here, drink a little bit of fizzy pop. 21:53.344 --> 21:55.626 No, because it was just, it was, you know, do you ever get that? 21:55.666 --> 21:58.468 It's a little shard of popcorn and you can feel it stuck there. 21:58.508 --> 21:59.309 I don't really like popcorn. 21:59.369 --> 21:59.870 Don't have it. 22:00.150 --> 22:00.370 Right. 22:00.390 --> 22:04.373 Well, that's a good reason not to, because very often you can get a little shard lodged there. 22:05.396 --> 22:06.076 And you can feel it. 22:06.317 --> 22:07.757 I much prefer to eat shards. 22:08.318 --> 22:08.618 Do you? 22:08.998 --> 22:10.158 Big bag of shards. 22:11.419 --> 22:13.420 Delicious chocolate covered shards. 22:13.480 --> 22:13.700 Yeah. 22:14.120 --> 22:14.381 Wow. 22:15.281 --> 22:24.466 Now he just goes for the popcorn and the shards come off and then so right the way through the film he was just making like loads of noise as well in the quiet bits. 22:24.606 --> 22:25.206 All you could hear was... 22:31.590 --> 22:34.312 And he wasn't joking, he was just trying to dislodge the shard. 22:35.133 --> 22:38.556 So I felt bad, I kept on saying, shh, try and do it a little bit more quietly. 22:38.897 --> 22:42.080 And I had to buy him a hot dog to see if that would dislodge it and stuff. 22:42.260 --> 22:44.082 Did you not, was he disturbing other viewers? 22:44.562 --> 22:45.363 I would say so. 22:45.883 --> 22:47.285 You should have taken him outside. 22:47.745 --> 22:49.306 Well, what was I going to do though? 22:49.326 --> 22:50.026 There was two of them. 22:50.066 --> 22:53.148 I didn't want to just totally disrupt the whole thing. 22:53.168 --> 22:56.350 I couldn't leave the other guy on his own there, the other guy, my son. 22:58.131 --> 23:00.432 That little guy that follows me around. 23:00.652 --> 23:02.333 The weird short guy. 23:02.814 --> 23:06.556 Meanwhile, the other guy is bored out of his mind. 23:07.076 --> 23:08.937 because he can't figure out what's going on. 23:09.197 --> 23:13.380 The only time he's perking up is when they do the broomstick battles. 23:13.420 --> 23:14.581 What's the sport game called? 23:14.881 --> 23:15.141 Quidditch. 23:15.221 --> 23:15.942 Quidditch, right? 23:16.322 --> 23:22.807 So he perks up a little bit when the quidditch starts and when there's some extreme wand action going on. 23:23.147 --> 23:35.855 But apart from that, during all the plot unfolding moments of which there are many, he was absolutely bored out of his mind and he turned round and he was facing the wrong way in his seat and he was bashing his head against the back of the seat. 23:35.935 --> 23:36.996 You and I used to do that. 23:38.597 --> 23:40.718 as a demonstration of boredom as teenagers. 23:40.758 --> 23:42.098 Well, he was doing it sincerely. 23:42.178 --> 23:42.959 Well, that's advanced. 23:43.099 --> 23:44.799 I was saying, man, do you want to leave? 23:44.819 --> 23:45.760 Because we can leave. 23:45.820 --> 23:47.000 If it's too boring, we can leave. 23:47.020 --> 23:48.681 And he's like, no, no, no, I like it. 23:48.781 --> 23:49.622 I really like it. 23:49.862 --> 23:50.722 I really like it. 23:51.062 --> 23:51.583 Let's stay. 23:51.603 --> 23:53.483 So we're at two and a half hours of this. 23:53.523 --> 23:55.744 We must have been driving the people behind us mental. 23:55.904 --> 23:56.905 Was it quite full in there? 23:57.345 --> 23:58.846 It was relatively full, yeah. 23:59.326 --> 24:03.689 And in Norwich as well, it's a very respectful audience you get. 24:03.929 --> 24:06.230 There's no mobile phone calls and talking and stuff. 24:06.290 --> 24:08.151 People are really nice and well behaved. 24:08.932 --> 24:15.775 And we were the worst behaved people there, spilling popcorn, coughing and spluttering, bashing heads against the back of the seats. 24:16.316 --> 24:17.156 It was pretty bad. 24:17.456 --> 24:21.799 But we were thinking maybe we might talk about cinema etiquette a little bit later on in the show. 24:22.219 --> 24:24.341 Yeah, we might do a Text the Nation listeners. 24:24.401 --> 24:27.524 Do a cinema manifesto like we did for gigs. 24:27.824 --> 24:28.084 Yeah. 24:28.385 --> 24:29.466 We only say might though. 24:30.126 --> 24:30.747 We might do it. 24:30.907 --> 24:31.107 Yeah. 24:31.207 --> 24:31.808 Might not do it. 24:31.828 --> 24:32.128 Might not. 24:32.208 --> 24:32.749 We don't know. 24:32.809 --> 24:33.309 It's like that. 24:33.349 --> 24:35.591 We make decisions on the spurs that we roll. 24:35.731 --> 24:36.432 Here's a free choice. 24:36.452 --> 24:37.433 This is yours, Joe, right? 24:37.453 --> 24:39.835 Yeah, this is another one from Now. 24:40.796 --> 24:41.877 Most Def's album. 24:42.237 --> 24:42.717 Ah, well done. 24:42.737 --> 24:43.038 Yeah. 24:43.478 --> 24:45.040 I played a track from this last week. 24:45.300 --> 24:46.421 The album's called The Ecstatic. 24:47.321 --> 24:49.062 This is another of my favourite tracks. 24:49.342 --> 24:50.383 Listen to this one, listeners. 24:50.423 --> 24:54.945 Listen to where this one goes and where his rapping goes and what happens to the backing track. 24:55.005 --> 24:55.585 It's phenomenal. 24:55.905 --> 24:57.326 This is called Kaza Bae. 24:57.386 --> 24:58.886 That's Empire of the Sun, mate. 24:59.246 --> 24:59.787 Is it, mate? 24:59.867 --> 25:01.687 Yeah, that's Walking on a Dream, right? 25:01.727 --> 25:03.148 If you listen to that song, right? 25:03.288 --> 25:03.528 Yeah. 25:03.728 --> 25:07.270 There's only about, like, three chords and it just goes over and over again. 25:07.290 --> 25:08.650 There's no real chorus. 25:08.690 --> 25:11.352 Yeah, but that's a good thing, you know, a lot of bands overuse chords. 25:11.432 --> 25:11.912 Listen, mate. 25:12.352 --> 25:13.513 I'm saying it's a bad thing. 25:13.593 --> 25:15.954 Why are you getting up in my grill about it, mate? 25:15.974 --> 25:17.255 What's the matter with you today, mate? 25:17.575 --> 25:22.919 I'm just saying that they only use a minimal number of chords in the song and it just goes over round and round and round. 25:22.959 --> 25:26.661 He's done a lot with a little, that's all I'm saying, and you're getting all up in my grill about it. 25:26.901 --> 25:28.803 Mate, you're really steamed up today. 25:28.983 --> 25:32.165 I'm really steamed up about the way you're behaving towards me. 25:32.725 --> 25:33.085 Yeah. 25:33.105 --> 25:36.448 You've got some issues I'd like to talk and discuss with you about. 25:36.608 --> 25:37.948 By the way, mate, where are you from? 25:40.090 --> 25:40.470 Where were you? 25:40.550 --> 25:41.631 What country are you from? 25:41.651 --> 25:42.972 Because your accent's a little bit funny. 25:43.012 --> 25:43.412 America. 25:43.432 --> 25:45.774 It's like an Australian version of Inglourious. 25:45.854 --> 25:47.195 We can't say the name of that film, can we? 25:47.395 --> 25:47.795 Can't we? 25:48.435 --> 25:49.796 Not even if we say Sturds. 25:51.698 --> 25:51.918 No. 25:52.518 --> 25:54.419 It's like an Australian version of that Quentin Tarantino film. 25:54.439 --> 25:57.942 Where are they from in that film? 25:57.982 --> 26:00.643 Well, there's a brilliant scene where they all try and suss each other's fake accents. 26:00.964 --> 26:01.524 Oh, right. 26:01.564 --> 26:03.585 They're all pretending to be, uh, Charmon. 26:03.766 --> 26:04.026 Yeah. 26:04.226 --> 26:05.086 Is that an enjoyable film? 26:05.407 --> 26:05.627 Yeah. 26:06.027 --> 26:06.608 Yeah, well then. 26:07.248 --> 26:12.633 Um, so listen, ladies and gentlemen, I think that it's time we launched the nation's favourite feature, don't you? 26:12.874 --> 26:14.115 I definitely doodles. 26:14.355 --> 26:15.196 Here's the jingle. 26:17.478 --> 26:18.299 Text the nation. 26:18.359 --> 26:20.281 Text, text, text, text the nation. 26:20.321 --> 26:21.322 What if I don't want to? 26:21.542 --> 26:22.263 Text the nation. 26:22.383 --> 26:23.364 But I'm using email. 26:23.524 --> 26:24.265 Is that a problem? 26:24.285 --> 26:25.126 It doesn't matter, text! 26:27.717 --> 26:33.882 So one of my favourite little blogs that I like to visit is called Ultra Culture, run by a young man called Charlie Line. 26:33.922 --> 26:40.127 It's a very good opinionated movie blog and he's done on it this week, a manifesto for cinema going. 26:40.988 --> 26:44.590 And he makes some quite good points about what gets annoying about cinemas. 26:44.650 --> 26:45.952 One of his points is the following. 26:46.392 --> 26:51.096 Screens in cinema should always be 70% as wide as the auditorium. 26:52.076 --> 27:05.270 Yeah, he's quite specific with his commands on the blog Ultra Culture, but there he's complaining about, you know, you pay money for a cinema and then you get into a room that's smaller than your front room with a screen that's only just larger than your telly. 27:05.310 --> 27:06.051 Has that ever happened? 27:06.191 --> 27:07.793 Yes, you get filtered off down the sides. 27:07.833 --> 27:11.276 It's like you go to a cinema complex and you think, wow, they've got 20 screens here. 27:11.657 --> 27:12.638 And you realize that about 27:12.878 --> 27:29.527 ten of them are yes as all of them sometimes like they they used to be a giant screen and then little ones but the giant screens have become uneconomical so they've sliced and diced them up and often they're all really kind of tiny plus you get a sound bleeding across from some of the yes in those things as well 27:29.767 --> 27:41.251 So anyway, we were going to, with your help listeners, put together a sort of a 10-point cinema manifesto, and we're going to take this manifesto and we're going to distribute it to all major cinema chains. 27:41.591 --> 27:47.133 And if they don't obey the laws, then everyone who listens to this show will boycott those chains. 27:47.373 --> 27:47.593 Yeah. 27:47.813 --> 27:53.174 It's going to be, it's more of a, less of a case of Odeon and more of a case of Odeon. 27:53.415 --> 27:53.715 Nice. 27:55.035 --> 27:56.677 EAT OUR MANIFESTO! 27:56.897 --> 27:57.317 Nice! 27:57.457 --> 27:58.358 Was his name Oscar Deutsch? 27:58.378 --> 28:00.280 Yeah, Oscar Deutsch entertains our nation. 28:00.300 --> 28:02.582 I think that's what, uh, Odeon stood for. 28:02.642 --> 28:04.444 Take this, Oscar Deutsch! 28:04.464 --> 28:07.967 Maybe that's going too far, maybe that's against the big British castle rules. 28:08.328 --> 28:12.812 We can't encourage listeners to boycott any kind of company, but we can mobilize Black Squadron. 28:12.932 --> 28:13.473 That's right. 28:13.593 --> 28:15.294 I mean, Black Squadron are beneath the radar. 28:15.675 --> 28:16.435 They're above the law. 28:16.575 --> 28:17.977 What are Black Squadron gonna do, exactly? 28:18.617 --> 28:22.460 Something involving toast and eggs in their mouths. 28:22.520 --> 28:25.963 I don't know, they're going to go loaded with all their various bits of black squadron equipment. 28:26.323 --> 28:28.725 They're going to do some hideous subterfuge on cinemas. 28:29.105 --> 28:34.669 Anyway, so text us on 64046 with things that you'd like fixed about the cinema. 28:34.689 --> 28:36.230 Here's one of the things I'd like fixed. 28:36.510 --> 28:37.871 I think they should bring back boxes. 28:38.592 --> 28:41.774 In the old days, boxes in theatres were for very posh people, right? 28:41.814 --> 28:44.436 You'd have your own little sort of balcony, private area. 28:44.877 --> 28:46.258 I think they should be sound-proofed. 28:46.818 --> 28:48.919 and glass and they should put idiots in them. 28:49.779 --> 28:50.479 Do you know what I mean? 28:50.700 --> 28:52.540 But then the idiots would have to pay extra, wouldn't they? 28:52.940 --> 28:57.382 Yeah, but maybe the idiot boxes, which is what they'd be called, would be cheaper. 28:57.462 --> 28:58.703 That's an interesting angle though. 28:58.723 --> 29:01.224 You're putting the idiots in the exclusive area. 29:01.304 --> 29:09.787 Yeah, so that they're soundproof, so they can misbehave and text and chat and stuff and moon or puke on the inside of the glass as much as they want. 29:10.267 --> 29:11.948 They'd be behind the civilized people. 29:12.228 --> 29:14.671 Have you seen much mooning in the cinema recently? 29:14.691 --> 29:17.836 Well, I'm just thinking if you put someone in a glass box, they tend to moon. 29:18.897 --> 29:20.659 Either that or press the boobs up against it. 29:20.960 --> 29:21.260 Yeah. 29:21.601 --> 29:23.103 It's a natural human response. 29:23.123 --> 29:23.804 That's a nice thing, though. 29:23.824 --> 29:25.065 They should have a separate box for that. 29:25.185 --> 29:28.149 Well, you could turn the other way in your seat, like your son. 29:28.630 --> 29:29.291 Yes, exactly. 29:29.551 --> 29:33.674 Hey, speaking of which, Joe is just checking the ratings regulations. 29:33.974 --> 29:38.537 Yeah, someone sent us in a little text pertaining to Adam's story about his kids in the cinema. 29:38.877 --> 29:40.258 It's from Chris in Stirling. 29:40.639 --> 29:44.221 Dear Adam and Joe, sorry to say that the minimum age for a 12A film is 8. 29:44.661 --> 29:47.063 Parental discretion only applies to kids aged 8 to 12. 29:48.524 --> 29:51.326 The authorities have been informed, we'll be in touch in due course. 29:51.486 --> 29:52.146 Flipping heck. 29:52.167 --> 29:54.628 So Count Buckley's is gonna be clanked up. 29:54.908 --> 30:00.532 I'm a law breaker, taking my kids to sea, films they shouldn't see, like Harry Potter and I've got blue and brown. 30:00.552 --> 30:00.972 It's a law abuse, man. 30:01.012 --> 30:01.293 Isn't it? 30:01.313 --> 30:01.953 Is it? 30:02.033 --> 30:03.154 Yeah, NSPCC. 30:03.214 --> 30:08.197 Wow, you really took it to an extreme... Well, you've abused your children's imagination by showing them dragons. 30:08.778 --> 30:10.579 Scary dragons at too young an age. 30:10.999 --> 30:11.280 Yeah. 30:11.800 --> 30:12.081 Yeah. 30:12.261 --> 30:13.543 They didn't have any nightmares, though. 30:13.563 --> 30:15.265 They just slept very soundly. 30:15.485 --> 30:19.490 My most treasured cinematic memories are films that hideously traumatised me at a young age. 30:20.732 --> 30:22.494 It wasn't hideously traumatic in any way. 30:22.955 --> 30:25.959 You know, they were more hideously traumatised by Coraline than they were by the... 30:26.960 --> 30:27.600 Half-blood prayers. 30:27.620 --> 30:30.862 I tell you what else I'd get rid of in cinema, going, uh, pick and mix. 30:31.363 --> 30:32.143 Why, what's the problem with that? 30:32.163 --> 30:33.424 Well, those pick and mix bags. 30:33.784 --> 30:33.944 Right. 30:34.144 --> 30:34.865 They're so noisy. 30:34.885 --> 30:35.585 They're so big. 30:35.885 --> 30:36.826 They're like sleeves. 30:37.326 --> 30:40.147 You have to plunge most of your arm into them to get to the sweets. 30:40.288 --> 30:42.489 What are you... I think... And they're very crinkly. 30:42.549 --> 30:42.749 Right. 30:43.149 --> 30:43.689 Cloth bags. 30:44.230 --> 30:45.090 Cloth bags. 30:45.170 --> 30:46.351 Silky or cloth bags. 30:46.391 --> 30:47.151 Hessian sacks. 30:47.191 --> 30:49.513 Yeah, that don't make any noise when you go for a sweet. 30:49.873 --> 30:50.733 No wrapped sweets. 30:51.034 --> 30:51.174 Mm-hmm. 30:51.534 --> 30:52.554 No, no cellophane. 30:52.975 --> 30:54.596 All sweets served in cloth bags. 30:55.416 --> 30:57.257 It's the kind of thing I'm looking for. 30:57.317 --> 30:59.699 So presumably you've got a big popcorn problem then, haven't you? 31:00.499 --> 31:01.800 With people crunching popcorn. 31:02.620 --> 31:04.601 A little bit, I suppose, but it's traditional popcorn. 31:04.741 --> 31:06.162 What about slurping of drinks? 31:08.303 --> 31:09.304 Doesn't bother me, really. 31:09.824 --> 31:12.826 When you get down to the bottom of the cup, you mean, you bring up the dregs. 31:12.886 --> 31:14.427 And people slooshing around their ice. 31:14.447 --> 31:15.348 I like slooshing. 31:15.368 --> 31:16.508 I mean, it's not a big problem. 31:17.189 --> 31:18.169 What are you eating when you go? 31:18.209 --> 31:19.190 Do you take a snack in there? 31:19.210 --> 31:19.970 I like minstrels. 31:20.150 --> 31:20.310 Yeah. 31:22.072 --> 31:23.493 Uh, and some water. 31:24.934 --> 31:26.035 Nice bit of water. 31:26.556 --> 31:27.217 That's nice. 31:27.857 --> 31:29.799 I like, um, what are the other ones? 31:29.819 --> 31:31.481 But hang on, this is just what you like. 31:31.501 --> 31:33.763 It's got to be, you've got to give me attitude, opinion. 31:34.143 --> 31:34.504 Oh, right. 31:34.744 --> 31:35.905 I tell you what I don't like. 31:38.187 --> 31:39.468 Oh, God, I don't know. 31:40.229 --> 31:41.390 Um, phones? 31:41.470 --> 31:42.031 Mobile phones? 31:42.451 --> 31:43.492 Yes, good. 31:43.693 --> 31:45.414 Now, I'll tell you what I would get rid of, right? 31:45.775 --> 31:46.595 The orange ads. 31:46.756 --> 31:49.098 I mean, that's a very old... Well, they've got a new one up there now. 31:49.118 --> 31:50.239 The Juliet Lewis one. 31:50.259 --> 31:51.020 Have you seen that one? 31:51.040 --> 31:51.080 No. 31:51.220 --> 31:52.461 Ah, it's very dense. 31:52.481 --> 31:53.082 It's a treatment store. 31:53.102 --> 31:54.423 They've tried to pack a lot of jokes in. 31:54.944 --> 31:55.704 Flipping heck. 31:55.925 --> 31:57.326 It makes me want to kill people. 31:57.574 --> 31:59.556 I mean, none of those Orange Ads is exciting. 31:59.576 --> 32:03.540 It was a point very well made in Peepshow, I think, by David Mitchell's character. 32:03.580 --> 32:08.224 Like, you can tell the people who haven't been to the cinema for two years because they're the ones laughing at the Orange Ads. 32:08.384 --> 32:08.725 Yes. 32:09.085 --> 32:11.027 I watched that film State of Play the other day. 32:11.087 --> 32:11.648 Oh yeah, how was that? 32:11.868 --> 32:13.549 It's got the man from the Orange Ads in it. 32:13.690 --> 32:14.090 Has it? 32:14.170 --> 32:14.430 Yeah. 32:15.391 --> 32:18.733 It really popped me out of the story when he walked in. 32:20.274 --> 32:22.435 That guy's a bit in trouble, really. 32:22.596 --> 32:28.379 Anyway, we'd like to hear your ideas, listeners, for what you would have on your cinema manifesto, what things you would ban. 32:28.439 --> 32:31.361 And we can also have what things you would enforce, as well. 32:31.701 --> 32:33.262 Yeah, any kind of rules. 32:33.362 --> 32:36.304 I mean, remember our gig manifesto we did, and how effective that's been. 32:36.424 --> 32:38.685 It's totally changed the gig-going experience. 32:38.985 --> 32:39.766 Yeah, for people. 32:41.006 --> 32:42.147 Mmm. 32:42.227 --> 32:43.667 Here's a bit of Joe Strummer for you right now. 32:43.687 --> 32:44.508 This is Coma Girl. 32:44.828 --> 32:46.768 Sir, Joe Strummer with Coma Girl. 32:46.788 --> 32:50.670 This is Adam and Joe on BBC 6 Music on a Saturday morning. 32:51.050 --> 32:53.071 Welcome along, listeners, if you've just joined us. 32:53.511 --> 32:55.051 We're very happy to have you listening. 32:55.712 --> 32:58.152 You know, what would it be like if no one was listening at all? 32:58.513 --> 32:59.993 I mean, then we'd seem pretty stupid. 33:00.413 --> 33:01.494 Nah, it'd be the same, wouldn't it? 33:01.934 --> 33:02.434 You're right. 33:02.534 --> 33:03.154 Exactly the same. 33:04.014 --> 33:04.795 We'd just be sat here. 33:04.875 --> 33:05.475 I'd swear more. 33:05.655 --> 33:06.095 Would you? 33:06.155 --> 33:06.435 Yeah. 33:06.475 --> 33:07.316 Do you miss swearing? 33:07.356 --> 33:08.036 I do a bit. 33:08.216 --> 33:09.277 You like to swear, don't you? 33:09.497 --> 33:11.398 I find it useful in expressing myself. 33:11.758 --> 33:14.560 I swear less now that I've been doing this show, I think. 33:14.640 --> 33:14.940 Do you? 33:15.020 --> 33:16.721 Yeah, because I'm more... It's a good discipline, isn't it? 33:16.801 --> 33:17.101 Yeah. 33:17.681 --> 33:18.282 Good discipline, sure. 33:18.302 --> 33:25.605 We shouldn't even talk about it, though, because the dirty words will pop into our heads and then they'll accidentally come out and then there'll be a scandal and then we'll get fired. 33:25.625 --> 33:26.646 Then we'll get Saturdays off. 33:27.846 --> 33:29.347 That's what you're aiming for, isn't it? 33:29.487 --> 33:30.668 Extra half a day off, mate. 33:30.788 --> 33:32.188 It's a beautiful day out there, mate. 33:32.268 --> 33:32.729 It's lovely. 33:32.749 --> 33:33.649 You going surfing later? 33:33.809 --> 33:34.970 Of course I'm going surfing. 33:35.030 --> 33:36.910 Have you waxed your tinni board? 33:37.251 --> 33:39.732 Yeah, my tinni board's all completely hairless. 33:39.912 --> 33:41.172 Yeah, beautiful. 33:41.552 --> 33:41.893 Lovely. 33:42.113 --> 33:44.214 What kind of a wave are you hoping for? 33:44.554 --> 33:46.515 One of the wavy curly ones. 33:46.675 --> 33:48.656 Ah, they're my favourite, mate. 33:48.996 --> 33:53.958 What I like to do, Adam, is I like to surf right out and wait for a big one to come along. 33:54.458 --> 33:59.419 And then what I do is I stand up on my surfboard and I surf down the middle of the wave. 34:00.099 --> 34:01.800 I call it a tube, it resembles a tube. 34:01.880 --> 34:03.000 I call it that tube. 34:03.200 --> 34:04.100 I surf down the middle. 34:04.580 --> 34:15.903 And what tends to happen is photographers take photos of me and cameramen take camera pictures of me and they put me in documentaries about sexy surfers. 34:15.943 --> 34:19.584 Now what I've got is a little cameraman on the tip of my board. 34:20.084 --> 34:20.725 Have you mate? 34:20.785 --> 34:21.045 Yeah. 34:21.085 --> 34:22.485 Do you put the footage on YouTube? 34:22.505 --> 34:23.006 Yeah I do. 34:23.386 --> 34:23.726 Brilliant. 34:23.786 --> 34:25.327 And it's super fast. 34:25.387 --> 34:28.169 It takes like about a thousand frames a minute. 34:28.469 --> 34:30.470 One time I was surfing and I fell off my board. 34:30.690 --> 34:31.030 Wow. 34:31.430 --> 34:31.750 Wow. 34:32.131 --> 34:32.491 Wild. 34:35.336 --> 34:35.756 What happened? 34:36.137 --> 34:37.078 Nothing, nothing else. 34:37.098 --> 34:38.199 Did you get back on? 34:38.299 --> 34:39.180 I did, I got on. 34:39.240 --> 34:40.141 Oh mate! 34:40.261 --> 34:42.403 No actually I paddled, I paddled back into the shore. 34:42.463 --> 34:42.763 Paddled? 34:42.783 --> 34:43.624 Were you on a bike? 34:43.704 --> 34:45.586 Had a bit of a sit down. 34:45.606 --> 34:45.706 What? 34:45.726 --> 34:47.608 It's gone, Sam, definitely could. 34:47.968 --> 34:49.490 Had a sit down on the beach, mate. 34:49.850 --> 34:51.892 Did you, and you pedaled in you were on a bike. 34:52.633 --> 34:53.894 Did you use a bike? 34:55.335 --> 34:56.717 No, what's on a surfboard, mate? 34:56.817 --> 34:57.838 You said you pedaled. 34:58.038 --> 34:58.659 Where are you from? 34:58.679 --> 34:59.560 I don't know. 35:00.595 --> 35:01.536 Listen, let's focus. 35:01.556 --> 35:04.678 You were going to tell us something about... I feel the moment's passed. 35:04.818 --> 35:05.299 Do you? 35:05.359 --> 35:06.079 I might save it. 35:06.219 --> 35:06.960 Do another record. 35:06.980 --> 35:08.061 You're going to do a free play right now. 35:08.361 --> 35:16.508 My friend Danny made me a compilation this summer and I haven't had a compilation made for me for a very long time. 35:17.008 --> 35:18.729 And Danny really puts the work in. 35:18.809 --> 35:22.793 He's one of these people that does the cover art and he lays it out. 35:22.813 --> 35:24.134 What was the cover art on this one? 35:25.014 --> 35:26.876 It was to do quite serious cover art. 35:26.956 --> 35:49.515 Yeah, he said of a joke he no no He's it's pretty serious like he'd sourced pictures of all the featured artists rights and made a little compilation right like and now that's what I call music kind of thing yeah relation and it was beautifully laid out lovely track listing and everything and he'd really put some label on the CD sure really printed label printed play because that can let a compilation down you do a beautiful sleeve then you open it and it's just 35:50.456 --> 35:52.458 Sharpie on the CD. 35:52.598 --> 35:54.901 Direct printing onto the CD surface itself. 35:55.121 --> 35:56.322 I mean, it was just exemplary. 35:56.342 --> 35:57.603 He's from a family of printers. 35:58.004 --> 35:58.785 He is, yeah. 35:58.865 --> 35:59.385 That's true. 35:59.525 --> 36:01.047 So, you know, he's got a little head start. 36:01.427 --> 36:02.068 But it was wonderful. 36:02.468 --> 36:10.877 And it was one of those tracks, we played the compilation one evening when we were on holiday, and we played it from start to finish, and it was just a very coherent, enjoyable musical journey. 36:11.457 --> 36:15.538 A few things that I already knew, but they were nice because I was sort of rediscovering them. 36:15.598 --> 36:16.798 Hadn't heard them for a long time. 36:16.858 --> 36:17.759 It was nice to hear them again. 36:17.939 --> 36:20.659 And then a couple of nuggets that I'd never heard before, which were wonderful. 36:20.979 --> 36:21.580 Sat very well. 36:21.600 --> 36:23.340 It was sounding a bit like Zane though there. 36:23.620 --> 36:23.840 Yeah. 36:24.000 --> 36:29.262 When you said comprehensive musical journey, a little bit of your Australian accent was still in there. 36:29.582 --> 36:30.022 Oh yeah. 36:30.222 --> 36:30.662 Spatchcock. 36:31.222 --> 36:38.732 Anyway, this was a track that I hadn't heard before by Kevin Ayres that popped up on Danny's compilation, and it's quite odd, but it's enjoyable. 36:38.752 --> 36:39.954 I hope you like it, listeners. 36:39.974 --> 36:41.055 This is Town Feeling. 36:49.045 --> 36:51.348 Are you laughing at me going, ah, there we go. 36:51.548 --> 36:53.590 Hey man, now you're a lube. 36:53.650 --> 36:53.850 What? 36:55.812 --> 36:58.195 Just sounded comically dufferish. 36:58.355 --> 36:59.015 Yeah, thanks. 36:59.996 --> 37:03.160 So listen, do you, Adam Buxton, do you watch a lot of BBC Three? 37:03.900 --> 37:04.301 You know what? 37:04.581 --> 37:05.342 I don't anymore. 37:05.562 --> 37:05.802 What? 37:06.103 --> 37:08.946 I feel as if it's no longer my target. 37:08.986 --> 37:10.227 Because they rejected your pilot. 37:10.467 --> 37:11.708 No, that's not the reason! 37:12.908 --> 37:22.872 Well, they have some problems with their comedy output, BBC 3 maybe, some people might say, you know, problems the wrong word, controversy, Horne and Cordon, stuff like that, you know. 37:22.892 --> 37:23.432 It does very well. 37:23.452 --> 37:27.134 It does very well, but some people are angry about it, but I tell you what, they do very well. 37:27.854 --> 37:29.335 is youth documentaries. 37:29.755 --> 37:45.683 They do really good youth documentaries that go on for hours, like there was one something called Man or Chicken or something testing the prowess of young men that went on, that seemed to go on in sort of two-hour segments, but because there's no commercial breaks 37:46.663 --> 37:51.446 They can do really satisfying sort of teen documentaries, and they seem to have a thing going. 37:51.466 --> 37:54.187 I think they might be working in consort with the government. 37:54.527 --> 38:02.192 They seem to be making a documentary about every single teenager in Britain, one by one, going through the entire populace and kind of trying to fix them. 38:02.892 --> 38:05.033 They're starting with the most idiotic ones. 38:05.453 --> 38:10.116 I think Channel 4 might have started this actually, and BBC 3 have now taken over the kind of task. 38:10.376 --> 38:13.037 Well, the classic in the genre was the Chris Needham one years ago. 38:13.137 --> 38:13.437 Yes. 38:14.278 --> 38:14.758 What was that one? 38:14.778 --> 38:15.478 In Bed With Madonna? 38:16.078 --> 38:16.258 No. 38:16.518 --> 38:17.439 No, that's Bob Mills. 38:18.339 --> 38:19.120 What was it about? 38:19.380 --> 38:20.440 You know the one I'm talking about, though? 38:20.460 --> 38:22.801 The guy in bed with the guy, the Madonna fan? 38:23.181 --> 38:24.302 Or was that years and years ago? 38:25.322 --> 38:27.143 Anyway, Chris Needham one was the heavy metal guy. 38:27.503 --> 38:27.763 Right. 38:28.043 --> 38:28.683 Do you remember that one? 38:29.004 --> 38:30.084 Yeah, it was called something. 38:30.104 --> 38:32.545 The title was a riff on In Bed With Madonna. 38:32.745 --> 38:46.941 they did that was a follow-up one in bed with Chris Needham right but the original one anyway I love that kind of thing I love a documentary about a really endearingly thick teenager who kind of has to come face to face with their problems there was another one on BBC three called 38:48.562 --> 39:03.085 Oh God, I can't remember any of the names, but people who were like addicted to junk food and they were taken to see the junk food manufactured, who were like addicted to label clothing and they were taken to Indonesia to see the sweatshops where the clothing was made, stuff like that. 39:03.185 --> 39:06.445 Anyway, there was one on the other day called Young Dumb and Living Off Mum. 39:07.505 --> 39:15.767 And they took a group of teenagers who were particularly dumb and dependent on their parents, stuck them in a big house and gave them tasks. 39:16.667 --> 39:20.812 And the winner was going to be the one that was the most adult who'd grown up the most by the end. 39:21.113 --> 39:22.354 And how long were they in there for? 39:22.554 --> 39:23.416 Weeks and weeks and weeks. 39:23.556 --> 39:24.397 Weeks and weeks and weeks. 39:24.457 --> 39:30.644 Yeah, but every episode was about an hour and a half and it was very satisfying, no commercial breaks, you could get really absorbed in their trials. 39:30.664 --> 39:31.706 So it's like a condensed big brother. 39:31.926 --> 39:40.011 Yeah, it was extraordinary, and they came across an amazing girl, aged about 18, called Danielle, who looked like sort of the ghost of a young Vanessa Feltz. 39:40.792 --> 39:48.957 She'd done her face up to look really weirdly pale, and she had huge blonde hair, and she was very, very ditzy. 39:49.457 --> 39:52.319 but in a really entertaining and kind of charming way. 39:52.639 --> 40:04.305 One of the tasks she was given was to go into a primary school, teach the kids a history lesson and then perform a play based on that history lesson at the end of the day to the students and pupils. 40:04.785 --> 40:10.668 So the subject Danielle chose to do the play on was the tragic death of Princess Diana. 40:11.148 --> 40:11.928 Nice subject. 40:12.088 --> 40:18.271 Now, she was 18, so she must have been about five or six when that actually happened, the terrible tragedy. 40:18.571 --> 40:22.553 So she can be excused for not knowing too many of the details of what happened, right? 40:22.693 --> 40:23.013 Yeah. 40:23.193 --> 40:26.195 But she did some online research to back up her facts. 40:26.615 --> 40:33.338 But despite her online research, she still got some of the, you know, hard, cold truths of Diana's accident a bit wrong. 40:33.718 --> 40:36.961 Here's a clip of a little bit of one of her lessons. 40:37.001 --> 40:37.462 Listen to this. 40:42.512 --> 40:42.952 Yeah. 40:43.393 --> 40:45.595 She crashed into the Eiffel Tower. 40:46.055 --> 40:47.757 Her car crashed into the Eiffel Tower. 40:47.817 --> 40:47.997 Yeah. 40:48.017 --> 40:49.018 That is correct. 40:49.078 --> 40:49.739 Well done. 40:51.480 --> 40:54.683 It would have been better, don't you think, if she'd crashed right into the Eiffel Tower? 40:54.883 --> 40:56.985 And the top had just toppled down. 40:57.085 --> 40:59.908 I mean, not better in any other way, but, you know, more now. 40:59.928 --> 41:00.508 Obviously, yeah. 41:00.528 --> 41:02.810 It would be more... less... oh, dear. 41:03.211 --> 41:07.555 So she gets a bit embarrassed about that, a teacher intercedes and tries to correct the facts. 41:07.635 --> 41:07.875 Yeah. 41:08.295 --> 41:18.041 And listen to Danielle kind of trying to come to terms emotionally with the impact that the crash must have had on Diana's family. 41:18.122 --> 41:18.822 Listen to this bit. 41:19.182 --> 41:25.726 That must have hit her son bad, mustn't it? 41:26.667 --> 41:26.947 Whoa. 41:27.748 --> 41:33.571 I mean, that is, if you're taking the temperature of the nation's youth, that's a pretty savage indictment. 41:34.392 --> 41:35.533 Can we just hear that one more time? 41:36.653 --> 41:43.196 That must have hit her son bad, mustn't it? 41:44.097 --> 41:44.537 Bad one. 41:45.757 --> 41:49.699 Must have hit her son bad. 41:50.240 --> 41:53.101 Yeah, had a terrible impact on her children, is what she's saying. 41:53.201 --> 41:54.121 Must have hit her son bad. 41:54.181 --> 41:55.102 But that's okay. 41:55.182 --> 41:57.543 She's emotionally engaging with it then. 41:58.644 --> 42:01.325 Maybe she was rendered inarticulate by the emotion here. 42:01.565 --> 42:01.905 Exactly. 42:01.965 --> 42:05.829 So she corrals the kids together, they start rehearsing their play about the death of Diana. 42:06.169 --> 42:08.451 And there's still a couple of factual inaccuracies. 42:08.891 --> 42:11.394 This is the kids going through the cast list. 42:11.694 --> 42:14.356 This is them describing who's in the car when the crash happens. 42:14.857 --> 42:16.798 Welcome to the Princess Diana show. 42:17.179 --> 42:21.122 Princess Diana died in a tragic car accident by a murderer. 42:21.723 --> 42:24.585 This is the car driver for Princess Diana. 42:24.605 --> 42:25.426 This is? 42:26.115 --> 42:27.236 Diana's husband. 42:27.616 --> 42:29.797 This is Da Murderer. 42:32.399 --> 42:33.820 So Prince Charles is in the car. 42:34.360 --> 42:41.424 And also Da Murderer is in the car. 42:41.444 --> 42:45.707 This is a good idea for a series in itself though, isn't it? 42:45.847 --> 42:50.589 Just getting children to do half-remembered versions of the history. 42:50.770 --> 42:54.492 Well, I always thought the news would be better staged by kids, just generally. 42:55.112 --> 42:58.373 But that's, you know, little kids, they've got a really positive attitude to murder. 42:58.633 --> 42:59.813 Yeah, that murder. 42:59.953 --> 43:01.094 Well, it's exciting. 43:01.114 --> 43:01.834 They love all that stuff. 43:01.854 --> 43:04.615 They love war and the army and all that kind of miserable stuff. 43:04.635 --> 43:14.977 So you would have thought someone might have interceded there and explained to Danielle that, you know, the whole murder thing is a pretty unsubstantiated conspiracy theory that's probably not true. 43:15.338 --> 43:22.239 And even if it was true, it's doubtful the murderer would actually be sitting in the car and also that Charles wasn't in the car, etc. 43:22.519 --> 43:24.300 And they didn't crash into the Eiffel Tower. 43:24.540 --> 43:24.760 Yeah. 43:25.060 --> 43:27.641 But so here's the final performance of the Diana show. 43:28.422 --> 43:29.322 This is the finished play. 43:29.342 --> 43:34.044 I think BBC Three might have cut around this a little for taste and decency purposes. 43:34.104 --> 43:38.506 But when all the kids giggle, what's happening on screen is they're performing the crash. 43:39.027 --> 43:40.207 OK, that's just a little note. 43:40.547 --> 43:43.769 But here's the finished production of Danielle's Diana show. 43:43.889 --> 43:44.009 Wow. 43:44.289 --> 43:46.731 Welcome to the Princess Diana shine. 43:46.751 --> 43:48.613 Princess Diana gets into the car. 43:49.334 --> 43:50.875 Mommy, I'm going to be lying. 43:50.915 --> 43:52.837 Princess Diana is dead. 43:52.877 --> 43:53.318 The end. 44:04.554 --> 44:06.055 I mean, that's how I remember it. 44:06.315 --> 44:12.397 It's sort of amazing though, isn't it, that just over 10 years later, that kind of thing is being screamed. 44:12.477 --> 44:20.480 Well, it's a terrifying sort of warning of how factual inaccuracy can very quickly become dangerous historical revisionism. 44:20.540 --> 44:21.920 True, that's exactly what it is. 44:21.940 --> 44:23.781 This is why facts are important. 44:24.181 --> 44:27.662 Because very quickly, the fact that inaccuracies pass down the generations. 44:27.842 --> 44:28.102 Yeah. 44:28.562 --> 44:28.862 Yeah. 44:29.803 --> 44:31.383 But that's quite moving, isn't it? 44:31.403 --> 44:33.824 That is a sobering little piece of documentary there. 44:33.864 --> 44:35.744 Thank you very much for bringing it to our attention. 44:35.924 --> 44:36.224 Pleasure. 44:36.504 --> 44:38.825 Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music. 44:39.165 --> 44:43.006 It's just exactly 10.30 and it's time for the news. 44:43.146 --> 44:44.667 That's MGMT with kids. 44:44.687 --> 44:46.608 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 44:46.628 --> 44:47.709 Have you seen the video for that? 44:47.749 --> 44:49.070 They just finished a video. 44:49.090 --> 44:49.951 It's taken them about nine months. 44:49.971 --> 44:50.431 The scary ones. 44:50.571 --> 44:51.091 Yeah, yeah. 44:51.111 --> 44:53.593 Yeah, I saw that a little while ago, actually. 44:53.893 --> 44:56.075 The baby being traumatised by the monster. 44:56.115 --> 44:57.436 It's a pretty unsettling video. 44:57.496 --> 44:58.176 Yeah, it's very odd. 44:58.396 --> 45:12.066 And most of the comments underneath it on YouTube were, how could the mother of that child expose her kid to such hideous... Because basically it's these freaky, cartoony monsters, but they're done with weird, rubbery, freaky masks. 45:12.626 --> 45:15.168 And they're sort of tormenting a little baby in a cradle. 45:15.528 --> 45:17.689 And the baby appears to be bursting into tears. 45:18.110 --> 45:20.471 And then the mum picks up the baby and walks down the street. 45:20.511 --> 45:21.972 A mum played by Joanna Newsom. 45:22.253 --> 45:27.116 And all the people they pass in the street are all hideous, mutated, freaky monsters. 45:27.156 --> 45:28.537 And the kid's still bawling. 45:28.597 --> 45:29.257 It's kind of odd. 45:29.297 --> 45:30.998 We showed it at Bug the other day. 45:31.018 --> 45:32.439 What kind of a response did it get? 45:32.559 --> 45:34.481 Well, it sort of, the audience was laughing. 45:35.241 --> 45:38.804 And they sort of found it funny, but it was an uncomfortable laughter. 45:38.844 --> 45:42.366 And a lot of people came up to me afterwards and said they found it irresponsible. 45:42.826 --> 45:44.727 No, sort of an unpleasant view. 45:45.008 --> 45:48.930 I mean, the director, Ray Tintore, insists that the child was not traumatised. 45:48.950 --> 45:50.751 I'm sure they took great care, yeah. 45:51.512 --> 45:54.054 But still, it's worth a look anyway, see what you think. 45:54.494 --> 46:00.118 Listen, let's get in on the debate and then contact us here at the show and let off some steam. 46:00.238 --> 46:01.118 That's what it's all about. 46:01.138 --> 46:04.721 Okay, let's get into text the nation right now. 46:04.741 --> 46:05.301 Here's the jingle. 46:10.442 --> 46:11.404 What if I don't want to? 46:12.006 --> 46:13.509 But I'm using email. 46:13.669 --> 46:14.371 Is that a problem? 46:17.680 --> 46:22.364 Text the Nation listeners this week is all about cinema rules. 46:22.384 --> 46:27.589 You know, we're putting together a cinema manifesto that we're going to issue to all major cinemas in the British Isles. 46:27.990 --> 46:33.815 And if they don't obey it, then Black Squadron are going to perform a top secret operation to bring them down. 46:33.835 --> 46:37.018 I thought you were going to say perform a topless ballet. 46:37.458 --> 46:38.659 Well, they might do that as well. 46:38.940 --> 46:39.540 That would be nice. 46:39.560 --> 46:40.161 That's just for us. 46:41.582 --> 46:43.023 So what kind of stuff have we got coming in? 46:43.143 --> 46:46.484 We've got some very good ideas coming in from the listeners, Adam. 46:47.065 --> 46:48.845 I'll read some out to you right now. 46:48.865 --> 46:50.166 Why don't you do that, John? 46:50.246 --> 46:51.206 Go, now, go. 46:51.907 --> 46:55.628 Here's one from Paul Gledhill in Maidenhead. 46:55.928 --> 47:01.991 He says, all popcorn should be pre-crushed or chewed so as not to be so loud. 47:02.271 --> 47:03.392 That is not practical, Paul. 47:03.452 --> 47:04.452 Come on, it's good. 47:04.472 --> 47:10.375 So you'd order popcorn and then the guy behind the counter, yeah, £2.50 please, and then he'd eat it. 47:10.515 --> 47:12.517 He'd chew it up and feed it to you like a bird. 47:12.577 --> 47:16.201 And then regurgitate it back into like a paper tarp. 47:16.221 --> 47:18.123 Like a bird feeding its little chicks. 47:18.203 --> 47:23.348 I mean that would, it would take time and it would be physically revolting. 47:23.368 --> 47:24.009 Like Jim Carrey. 47:24.029 --> 47:25.951 And it would render the popcorn inedible. 47:26.111 --> 47:26.351 Yeah. 47:27.592 --> 47:29.914 It would reduce the crunching noise in the auditorium. 47:29.934 --> 47:35.257 It seems like a fairly extreme thing to do just to... Well, it's being considered for the manifesto. 47:35.398 --> 47:35.878 Here's the thing. 47:35.918 --> 47:37.499 Here's the problem I foresee, right? 47:37.519 --> 47:41.062 And this, tell me if this is being too niggly. 47:41.862 --> 47:49.187 I don't think most people would like to have popcorn, to eat popcorn that's already been eaten and regurgitated by a guy. 47:49.267 --> 47:50.268 Well, they're disease-free. 47:50.308 --> 47:50.748 It's okay. 47:50.768 --> 47:51.749 They'd be checked for diseases. 47:51.969 --> 47:52.509 Oh, would they? 47:52.529 --> 47:53.590 The staff before. 47:53.630 --> 47:54.910 Yeah, they'd be medically clean. 47:54.970 --> 47:56.530 So it's fine. 47:56.690 --> 47:57.171 That's fine. 47:57.191 --> 47:57.991 That's a good idea. 47:58.011 --> 47:58.491 Good idea. 47:58.551 --> 48:00.671 Here's another one from Matt in Lancaster. 48:01.212 --> 48:04.713 Cinema should not show adverts that are also on TV. 48:05.213 --> 48:05.813 Uh-huh. 48:06.033 --> 48:07.273 That's a good idea, don't you think? 48:07.313 --> 48:07.553 Yes. 48:07.753 --> 48:13.655 This is for the single reason that people still laugh at the inanity, consequently ruining the experience for everyone. 48:13.915 --> 48:20.377 I think it diminishes the cinema-going experience anyway, because somewhere in the back of your head, it reduces the grand, wonderful, 48:20.797 --> 48:26.699 Dream Portal, that is the cinema screen, drags it down to the same level as the tele. 48:27.039 --> 48:27.719 Yes, exactly. 48:27.779 --> 48:32.261 Now it's nice to have a unique cinema going experience, to see ads there that you wouldn't see anywhere else. 48:32.281 --> 48:35.082 So that's a good rule, that's definitely a good candidate for the manifesto. 48:35.122 --> 48:37.182 Here's another very good one from Gary Chamberlain. 48:37.723 --> 48:42.244 Cinemas should have headphone sockets in the seats like they have on airlines. 48:43.024 --> 48:44.705 I can never understand why they've never done this. 48:44.766 --> 48:45.826 It can't be that expensive. 48:46.166 --> 48:53.211 It beats listening to some cretinous 15 year old on his phone or someone behind you guzzling nachos at deafening volume. 48:53.471 --> 48:55.452 It probably is that expensive though, wouldn't you think? 48:55.672 --> 48:56.993 Just a couple of little wires. 48:57.802 --> 48:59.804 Yeah, but that would be expensive. 49:00.224 --> 49:00.684 I'll do it. 49:01.405 --> 49:02.385 Really, you go around and fit them all. 49:02.566 --> 49:03.626 I mean, it's a brilliant idea. 49:03.646 --> 49:04.207 It's a good idea. 49:04.307 --> 49:07.169 You have the little quarter-inch jack socket there. 49:07.369 --> 49:07.849 Is it quarter-inch? 49:07.889 --> 49:08.270 I'm not sure. 49:08.550 --> 49:11.172 Anyway, and so you can plug, you can just bring in your own headphones. 49:11.232 --> 49:12.573 Surround sound headphones as well. 49:12.613 --> 49:14.214 Higher headphones or buy them or anything like that. 49:14.234 --> 49:14.975 You can just plug them in. 49:14.995 --> 49:18.077 Because if 3D takes off, everyone, you know, people might have their own glasses. 49:18.257 --> 49:19.278 They're talking about doing that. 49:19.298 --> 49:21.860 You'll buy your, you know, some Ray-Ban 3D specs. 49:21.940 --> 49:22.140 Right. 49:22.861 --> 49:25.883 So why not go the whole hog and have the headphones as well? 49:26.363 --> 49:28.904 You could have them built into the glasses, right? 49:30.005 --> 49:30.205 Yeah. 49:30.265 --> 49:31.385 Could you go quarter hog? 49:32.646 --> 49:32.886 Yeah. 49:32.906 --> 49:36.087 Okay, that's alright. 49:36.587 --> 49:37.308 Here's one. 49:37.548 --> 49:39.088 I'm trying to find a really good one. 49:39.749 --> 49:40.589 A-bom-bom-bom-bom. 49:41.609 --> 49:42.890 That's Joe Filling, isn't it? 49:43.230 --> 49:43.710 A-bom-bom-bom-bom. 49:44.030 --> 49:46.191 I should have failed for him, but I just wanted to listen. 49:46.211 --> 49:46.892 Got it now, I'm there now. 49:47.292 --> 49:48.893 This is from Tom in Loughborough. 49:49.233 --> 49:50.093 A-bom-bom-bom. 49:50.153 --> 49:51.113 That's just a bit for free. 49:51.974 --> 49:54.255 Hide Dr. Buckles and Mr. Cornballs. 49:55.316 --> 49:58.800 When the film is on, the cinema should be engulfed in utter darkness. 49:59.101 --> 50:01.424 The only light in the room should be from the projector. 50:01.845 --> 50:10.016 A lot of multiplexes leave the lights on these days and I don't like having my film experience ruined when I accidentally look down and catch a glimpse of my stupid legs and knees. 50:10.296 --> 50:25.954 that's true and you know that's one thing that's very different when you go abroad and uh when you're on the continent and in the states they they plunge you into total darkness they've got much hairier knees as well so they're less light reflective exactly and you can get up to all sorts of different things in the cinema it's true it's health it's health and safety mad britain 50:26.494 --> 50:28.636 Absolutely darkness is illegal, right? 50:28.676 --> 50:30.697 It's illegal to for it to be dark. 50:30.937 --> 50:50.932 It's nice I like it to be so dark that you stumble around you break a few people's feet Yes like that press your hands into their faces and definitely and sometimes if you're unlucky enough to get sat right underneath The very one of the very bright lights there or an exit sign emergency exit sign sometimes they give out more light than the Sun Disgusting one more last one. 50:51.012 --> 50:52.854 Yeah, this is from Dave and Mike. 50:53.014 --> 50:55.175 This has taken two brains to concoct 50:56.236 --> 51:04.666 Hi Adam and Jo, seats should be magnetised to stop people going to the toilet more than once, and to stop people leaving five minutes from the end. 51:04.906 --> 51:11.774 Well, each seat should have a noise sensor, and if someone makes too much noise, an electric shock is delivered! 51:12.495 --> 51:14.097 We like your thinking, Dave and Mike. 51:14.377 --> 51:15.758 It's the kind of thing we like, I like. 51:15.858 --> 51:17.079 It's a little bit woolly though, isn't it? 51:17.280 --> 51:19.382 Well, flesh isn't magnetic. 51:19.402 --> 51:20.142 Well, that's the thing. 51:20.162 --> 51:24.226 So how would you actually... Unless you insert metal plates in people's butok in. 51:26.048 --> 51:27.129 As they head to the cinema. 51:27.149 --> 51:28.950 Yeah, make them eat like a lead snack. 51:29.191 --> 51:30.412 That would be doable, wouldn't it? 51:30.872 --> 51:31.032 Yeah. 51:31.092 --> 51:32.694 Oh, no, I think insert them into the butons. 51:32.734 --> 51:33.694 An iron snack. 51:33.714 --> 51:35.216 There's no nerve endings there, are there? 51:35.256 --> 51:36.877 Just an incision at the top of each buttock. 51:36.937 --> 51:40.580 Wouldn't it be better to avoid slipping plates into people's bottoms? 51:40.600 --> 51:41.140 Stitch it up. 51:41.520 --> 51:45.624 Wouldn't it be better just to have little wee wee bags on the seats? 51:47.364 --> 51:55.066 No, it wouldn't be I mean you you know bladder Capacity is related to height is it I read that the other day. 51:55.086 --> 51:57.467 No you yes shorter people have smaller bladders. 51:57.527 --> 51:58.007 Is that true? 51:58.227 --> 52:04.309 Yeah, certainly applies to me Yeah, so maybe smaller people should go towards the back cut a little wee bag. 52:04.349 --> 52:05.409 What's wrong with a wee bag? 52:05.589 --> 52:06.610 What do you do with it after? 52:06.650 --> 52:11.355 People in the cinema, because it's dark, people think they have carte blanche to drop things on the floor. 52:11.835 --> 52:14.318 I mean, it would be bad if you got it confused with your Pepsi. 52:14.458 --> 52:18.962 Yeah, they dropped it on the floor, then the other bloke gets up to go to the loo and steps on it and it bursts. 52:19.283 --> 52:21.765 Well, you somehow build it into the seat. 52:22.666 --> 52:23.106 Right. 52:23.146 --> 52:26.507 Well, why not go the whole Bunwellian hog and just have lavvy seats? 52:26.527 --> 52:27.568 Where's it with you and hogs? 52:29.068 --> 52:29.829 I'm crazy about hogs. 52:29.849 --> 52:31.029 They go all the way over all these hogs. 52:31.049 --> 52:32.149 My favourite film is Wild Hogs. 52:32.489 --> 52:34.850 We're going to come back and hear some more of your suggestions. 52:34.990 --> 52:35.551 Keep them coming in. 52:35.571 --> 52:37.331 64046 is the text number. 52:37.351 --> 52:39.852 Adamandjo.6musicatpbc.co.uk is the email. 52:39.892 --> 52:42.153 Here's a Mercury Prize nominated artist right now. 52:42.193 --> 52:43.793 This is Speech2Bell with Spinnin. 52:44.013 --> 52:48.075 That's the Mercury Prize nominated Speech2Bell with her single Spinnin. 52:48.835 --> 52:58.564 And full coverage of the Mercury Prize Awards starts at 7pm on Tuesday night here on BBC6 Music with Guy Garvey and Elbow talking about winning the prize last year. 52:58.924 --> 53:00.866 What kind of things do you think he might say, Adam? 53:01.366 --> 53:04.189 When we won the prize, I was so pleased. 53:04.449 --> 53:06.211 I did not expect the prize. 53:06.591 --> 53:10.054 Then I got it, I got it, and I ate it. 53:10.354 --> 53:11.495 It was nice. 53:11.916 --> 53:14.358 Now, will I get another one? 53:14.918 --> 53:20.259 And Steve Lomax live at the presentation talking to the nominees and bringing you the announcement of the winner live. 53:21.400 --> 53:22.520 Steve Lomax. 53:23.360 --> 53:31.762 He'll actually be hanging from the roof of the venue and he will be drinking the blood of many of the nominees that night. 53:31.862 --> 53:34.463 The audience will be covered in Lomax droppings. 53:35.043 --> 53:35.603 What are they called? 53:35.623 --> 53:37.203 What are back droppings called? 53:37.243 --> 53:37.663 Guano. 53:37.703 --> 53:38.504 That's right, guano. 53:38.564 --> 53:39.744 What are Lomax droppings called? 53:41.384 --> 53:42.505 Guano bats, no. 53:42.905 --> 53:43.485 Oh, I don't know. 53:43.825 --> 53:44.225 Oh, dear. 53:45.105 --> 53:46.146 Now, listen, folks. 53:46.186 --> 53:47.667 You're listening to Adam and Jo here on BBC CCC Music. 53:47.687 --> 53:49.328 I've got a thing to talk to you about. 53:49.428 --> 53:50.668 I know I was handing you over. 53:50.688 --> 53:51.329 I was doing a lot of... Okay, go. 53:51.349 --> 53:51.549 Sorry. 53:51.569 --> 53:52.189 Do it, do it, do it. 53:53.750 --> 53:54.270 Here's Jo. 53:55.371 --> 53:55.751 Nice! 53:56.392 --> 53:58.873 So what do you find, Adam Buxton? 53:59.373 --> 54:00.394 Any adverts? 54:01.354 --> 54:06.157 Do you find the music on any adverts on telly so annoying that you have to switch them off? 54:06.641 --> 54:13.006 There used to be one ages ago, a few years back, for some kind of flu remedy that had screaming in the middle. 54:13.046 --> 54:15.428 Yes, we talked about that on this show, I think. 54:15.468 --> 54:16.569 Remember, it was really weird. 54:16.589 --> 54:19.712 It was just someone going... Halfway through the song. 54:19.992 --> 54:22.975 Here's my two least favourite bits of advert music. 54:24.156 --> 54:27.298 The first one is... Can we play that one, Eliza's Dream? 54:28.239 --> 54:29.460 Do you recognise this music? 54:32.563 --> 54:33.924 Doesn't this drive you nuts? 54:33.944 --> 54:34.244 It does. 54:35.287 --> 54:37.845 Would you want this woman doing your banking? 54:40.499 --> 54:43.100 No, everything about it makes me want to hurt the woman. 54:43.320 --> 54:48.322 And then it's accompanied by sort of really teeth edgy kind of animation. 54:48.462 --> 54:51.223 Somehow they've made the animation as sort of creepy as the music. 54:51.543 --> 54:53.344 Well, they're going for the quirk factor, aren't they? 54:53.384 --> 54:58.126 But they've got they've they've done over quirk and it's very annoying. 54:58.186 --> 54:58.866 I've overquoked it. 54:58.926 --> 55:00.367 OK, what about what about this? 55:00.907 --> 55:01.427 Who is that by? 55:01.447 --> 55:02.227 Do you know who that's by? 55:02.287 --> 55:03.988 It's by some sort of proper composer. 55:04.168 --> 55:06.929 It's a proper song that probably is quite meaningful and nice. 55:06.969 --> 55:08.270 That's now been ruined. 55:08.630 --> 55:16.687 Mm-hmm by the dirty admin by the dirty bank man, but here's another amazing song that's been ruined by the dirty admin Do you like it when this song starts? 55:35.033 --> 55:36.294 Don't play the whole flipping thing. 55:36.355 --> 55:37.876 I've cut it out before the sell. 55:38.877 --> 55:39.557 Oh my goodness. 55:39.597 --> 55:40.478 I've got me crunch. 55:41.079 --> 55:44.282 Is that still for the same product, the yoghurt corner thing? 55:44.382 --> 55:46.263 Yeah, the fruity yoghurt tray. 55:46.544 --> 55:48.345 I mean, it's a nightmare, isn't it? 55:48.545 --> 55:52.249 The original Nina Simone track is not what I'm going to play in a second. 55:52.289 --> 55:52.569 Are you? 55:52.729 --> 55:53.850 Yeah, I hadn't really heard the original. 55:53.870 --> 55:55.852 Are you playing the one where she talks about her boobies? 55:56.312 --> 56:21.374 No, it's a live version and it's actually only it's it's I think two songs from the musical hair stuck together her song but it's a proper moving emotional song about civil rights and about racial repression and when it bursts into that sort of joyful chorus at the end it's only after a lot of quite you know dark and meaningful stuff yes and I think it's being you know marginally trivialized 56:21.954 --> 56:24.315 Yeah, but that's a great tradition of that people happening. 56:24.355 --> 56:27.737 I heard the other day on, what was it? 56:27.817 --> 56:28.977 On Moyles' show, in fact. 56:29.017 --> 56:30.418 They were playing Perfect Day. 56:30.458 --> 56:31.778 So here's Perfect Day by Lou Reed. 56:32.279 --> 56:33.899 But it wasn't the original version. 56:33.939 --> 56:38.381 It was that monstrous version they had a few years back with everyone taking one line. 56:38.421 --> 56:39.682 What was that in aid of? 56:40.342 --> 56:40.783 I can't remember. 56:40.803 --> 56:42.044 It was just a BBC promotion. 56:42.084 --> 56:43.665 It was just an ad for the BBC one. 56:43.685 --> 56:45.787 Yeah, and they played the whole track. 56:46.308 --> 56:48.670 I'm glad I spent it with you. 56:48.690 --> 56:50.331 Remember that Leslie Garrett there? 56:50.792 --> 56:52.093 And who's it? 56:52.193 --> 56:54.875 Six Musics very own fun loving criminal. 56:55.176 --> 56:56.377 Huey's on there as well. 56:56.397 --> 56:58.399 I felt like someone else. 56:58.639 --> 56:59.480 Someone good. 56:59.880 --> 57:00.260 Yeah. 57:00.481 --> 57:01.201 That's disgraceful. 57:01.261 --> 57:01.882 All that stuff. 57:02.162 --> 57:12.865 And that was, I mean, at the time it was bizarre that the BBC was using that song, which is about being a heroin addict, as a promotion for the whole big British castle. 57:12.906 --> 57:13.786 It seemed bizarre. 57:14.446 --> 57:16.787 Do you know Nina Simone's coming back? 57:17.187 --> 57:17.827 Big comeback. 57:18.027 --> 57:18.387 You see? 57:18.987 --> 57:19.468 From the grave. 57:19.668 --> 57:25.109 Yeah, because Al Pacino has resurrected her digitally and she's going to be called Nina Simone. 57:25.830 --> 57:26.250 Nice. 57:26.390 --> 57:27.530 That's a very obscure joke. 57:30.351 --> 57:33.612 Anyway, look, I thought I'd play that record so you could hear what it's like properly. 57:34.033 --> 57:35.713 And the same happens when you listen to this. 57:35.773 --> 57:44.417 It's brilliant up until the fruity yogurt snack moment when you can't help but envisage middle-aged housewives doing cartwheels in fields. 57:45.437 --> 57:46.017 But here it is. 57:46.077 --> 57:46.457 This is from 1968. 57:46.658 --> 57:49.059 This is Nina Simone with I Got Life. 57:49.339 --> 57:51.059 Ian Brown with Stellify. 57:51.079 --> 57:54.541 I didn't listen properly to that track, but what is to Stellify? 57:56.161 --> 57:57.562 I don't, it's to make something stellar. 57:57.902 --> 57:58.262 You know what? 57:58.282 --> 58:00.183 I was reading Texanations as well. 58:00.203 --> 58:01.884 I wasn't really paying attention either. 58:02.244 --> 58:03.925 Both of us were not properly paying attention. 58:03.965 --> 58:05.065 At least we're honest about it. 58:05.085 --> 58:06.826 To the Ian Brown track there. 58:06.846 --> 58:07.707 Sorry about that. 58:07.747 --> 58:08.607 Can we just move on? 58:08.687 --> 58:10.168 Do we have to define Stellify? 58:10.668 --> 58:15.530 What if we just, listen, this is just a suggestion that we just ignore it and just carry on. 58:15.610 --> 58:16.351 I see what you mean. 58:16.971 --> 58:17.791 Okay, fair enough. 58:17.811 --> 58:19.072 I'm gonna run with that. 58:19.312 --> 58:19.532 Yeah. 58:19.712 --> 58:21.773 Actually, I was thinking of rolling with it, but then I thought I'd run with it. 58:21.793 --> 58:22.433 I don't roll with it. 58:22.574 --> 58:23.194 No, I'm going to run with it. 58:24.254 --> 58:28.796 Instead, here's a track that I tried to play last week as a free play, right, listeners? 58:29.256 --> 58:30.717 But the CD got stuck. 58:30.997 --> 58:33.518 And it's from an album by Wild Beasts. 58:33.979 --> 58:35.899 They hail from Kendall, I believe. 58:36.520 --> 58:40.602 And their album, Two Dancers, which has just come out, is really, really good. 58:40.702 --> 58:43.283 Do you remember I described it as a widescreen sound? 58:43.643 --> 58:45.664 Actually got that phrase from the PR notes. 58:46.184 --> 58:48.465 that came with the album. 58:48.725 --> 58:54.166 But actually it was one of the few times when those notes, which are usually pretty ludicrous, was actually right on the money. 58:54.546 --> 58:58.487 It's a great album and I hope you enjoy this track, which is a weird combination of sounds. 58:58.527 --> 59:02.328 His voice is very obviously like Billy Mackenzie from The Associates. 59:02.708 --> 59:05.429 But then they've also got that kind of... Stellified. 59:05.509 --> 59:09.870 Very bright, stellified guitar sound that you would associate with U2 or something. 59:09.930 --> 59:10.330 I don't know. 59:10.390 --> 59:11.231 It's a good mix though. 59:11.471 --> 59:11.951 Hope you like this. 59:11.971 --> 59:15.192 This is We Still Got The Taste Dancing On Our Tongues by Wild Beasts. 59:15.352 --> 59:15.952 That's good stuff. 59:16.052 --> 59:16.332 man. 59:21.816 --> 59:23.237 Is that by the Lloyds back lady? 59:24.178 --> 59:24.879 Could be, couldn't it? 59:25.099 --> 59:26.039 It's good, I liked it. 59:26.320 --> 59:31.583 That was Wild Beasts with We Still Got The Taste Dancing on our tongues from their album Two Dancers. 59:32.064 --> 59:34.766 This is Adam and Jo here at BBC Six Music. 59:34.806 --> 59:37.348 A great pleasure to be here with you this Saturday afternoon. 59:37.788 --> 59:39.549 It's just a little time check for you. 59:39.609 --> 59:45.174 It's just going up to 6 minutes past 11 here in London Town. 59:45.194 --> 59:46.495 Beautiful sunny day outside. 59:46.515 --> 59:47.976 Don't know what you got planned. 59:48.216 --> 59:49.077 You might like to give us a call. 59:49.097 --> 59:50.358 Let us know what you got planned for the weekend. 59:50.378 --> 59:51.559 Gordon Brown, can we still trust him? 59:51.599 --> 59:53.520 Why can't he be straight with the country, Alistair Darling? 59:53.540 --> 59:55.542 Can Britain really spend its way out of recession? 59:56.482 --> 59:58.044 And the Millennium Dome. 59:58.444 --> 59:59.665 Is it a big white elephant? 01:00:01.006 --> 01:00:01.787 Or not? 01:00:02.267 --> 01:00:02.787 Give us a call. 01:00:02.807 --> 01:00:03.788 Let us know what you think. 01:00:07.551 --> 01:00:07.951 Pathetic. 01:00:08.672 --> 01:00:10.613 OK, made up jokes time, right? 01:00:10.633 --> 01:00:10.993 Made up jokes? 01:00:11.013 --> 01:00:11.754 Yeah, let's have the jingle. 01:00:12.554 --> 01:00:14.175 I'm a funny person. 01:00:14.655 --> 01:00:16.256 I often make up jokes. 01:00:16.637 --> 01:00:20.719 My jokes are more amusing than those of other folks. 01:00:21.420 --> 01:00:25.142 When you hear my joke, I think you'll find that you agree. 01:00:25.622 --> 01:00:29.424 Come on, you're all invited to a made up joke party. 01:00:30.385 --> 01:00:34.728 Yeah, Made Up Jokes, listeners, is the part of the show where we ask you to send us your Made Up Jokes. 01:00:34.808 --> 01:00:38.290 It couldn't be simpler, really, but they do have to be made up. 01:00:38.410 --> 01:00:40.092 They have to be things you've invented. 01:00:40.492 --> 01:00:44.254 They can't be jokes you heard a long time ago and now think you made up. 01:00:44.695 --> 01:00:47.316 They've got to be really creative and created. 01:00:47.697 --> 01:00:58.304 And we have got a bank of experts here at the Big British Castle that vet all of these jokes, apply various stringent algorithms to them, and only the Made Up ones get through. 01:01:01.506 --> 01:01:02.587 I've always wanted to say that. 01:01:02.747 --> 01:01:04.968 Here's one from Robin in Manchester. 01:01:05.489 --> 01:01:08.931 He says, My wife Wendy has made up this terrible, terrible joke. 01:01:08.951 --> 01:01:11.092 So he's palming off immediately on Wendy there. 01:01:11.212 --> 01:01:11.633 Wendy. 01:01:12.153 --> 01:01:14.555 Worst of all, she seems really pleased with herself. 01:01:14.735 --> 01:01:16.576 This tends to happen if you make up a joke. 01:01:16.696 --> 01:01:18.037 Generally, it's a good feeling. 01:01:18.638 --> 01:01:24.602 Whenever someone says their wife's called Wendy, I just always picture their husband like lolloping around the house with an axe. 01:01:25.502 --> 01:01:26.403 Oh, Wendy! 01:01:26.963 --> 01:01:30.685 I thought you were going to say like... A poor Wendy looking really timid and frightened in a corner. 01:01:30.825 --> 01:01:36.107 I thought you were going to say, you hear that she's called Wendy and you picture the husband flying around in green tights. 01:01:36.648 --> 01:01:36.948 Yes. 01:01:37.008 --> 01:01:37.868 Like Peter Pan. 01:01:38.208 --> 01:01:38.829 No, I don't. 01:01:40.369 --> 01:01:41.230 That's what I picture. 01:01:41.670 --> 01:01:43.051 Anyway, here's Wendy's joke. 01:01:44.212 --> 01:01:48.234 This is about, she basically says, it's not even in the form of like a joke. 01:01:48.434 --> 01:01:49.095 Good, good. 01:01:50.196 --> 01:01:53.638 A promiscuous bird keeps singing Frank Sinatra songs. 01:01:54.258 --> 01:01:54.638 Oh dear. 01:01:54.879 --> 01:01:56.840 Igrets, I've had a few. 01:02:00.402 --> 01:02:04.748 Look, so our beautiful assistant's, Anthony, is putting her head in her hat. 01:02:05.609 --> 01:02:06.150 That's quite good. 01:02:06.190 --> 01:02:06.951 She is chuckling. 01:02:07.592 --> 01:02:08.313 Good job, Wendy. 01:02:08.333 --> 01:02:09.094 Have you got one there, Joe? 01:02:09.114 --> 01:02:11.337 Yeah, I've got one here from Jim in Chesterfield. 01:02:14.577 --> 01:02:20.861 The other week, a Native American friend of mine ran out of coffee filters and was forced to use his shoe to brew up. 01:02:21.541 --> 01:02:27.824 Upon hearing this, the local beverage loving priest described it as a mocha sin. 01:02:28.985 --> 01:02:30.486 Mocha sin, a mocha sin. 01:02:31.136 --> 01:02:35.600 I like the fact that he has to wangle in the fact that he's the beverage-loving priest. 01:02:35.620 --> 01:02:36.520 Yeah, yeah, that's good. 01:02:36.560 --> 01:02:38.602 The more unbalanced they are, the better. 01:02:38.622 --> 01:02:40.323 That's good, Jim. 01:02:40.644 --> 01:02:42.065 You know, nobody laughed. 01:02:42.525 --> 01:02:42.685 No. 01:02:42.845 --> 01:02:43.686 It's not that good. 01:02:43.726 --> 01:02:46.248 Well, no, it is good because we were happy. 01:02:46.288 --> 01:02:46.948 It made us happy. 01:02:46.968 --> 01:02:48.169 It didn't make us happy. 01:02:48.369 --> 01:02:51.252 And sometimes happiness is about more than mere. 01:02:51.272 --> 01:02:51.872 Just laughing. 01:02:52.453 --> 01:02:52.993 Laughter. 01:02:53.073 --> 01:02:53.313 Yeah. 01:02:53.814 --> 01:02:57.537 Here's one from... Who's this from? 01:02:57.557 --> 01:03:00.619 This is Anonymous, where you'll understand why when you hear it. 01:03:01.280 --> 01:03:02.761 My made-up joke goes like this. 01:03:03.282 --> 01:03:05.864 So I hear Amy... I like the conversational ones. 01:03:05.924 --> 01:03:06.164 Yes. 01:03:07.024 --> 01:03:11.348 So, I hear Amy Winehouse has cancelled her tour of Saudi Arabia. 01:03:12.108 --> 01:03:12.569 Oh, yeah? 01:03:13.009 --> 01:03:13.309 Yeah. 01:03:13.850 --> 01:03:18.413 They tried to make her go to Riyadh, but she said, no, no, no. 01:03:18.773 --> 01:03:20.295 Oh, that's from Joe, it says at the end. 01:03:20.895 --> 01:03:21.496 Not you, Joe. 01:03:21.776 --> 01:03:21.896 No. 01:03:22.136 --> 01:03:23.857 They tried to make her go to re-add. 01:03:24.197 --> 01:03:25.158 That's good, that's good, isn't it? 01:03:25.178 --> 01:03:26.199 Because it sounds a bit like re-add. 01:03:26.219 --> 01:03:27.140 A little bit like it. 01:03:27.160 --> 01:03:28.420 A tiny bit like it. 01:03:29.161 --> 01:03:31.342 Here's one from Adam in Saffron Walden. 01:03:32.083 --> 01:03:39.788 What do you call a heavy metal band that has to really meticulously set up their instruments and make sure everything is neat and tidy on stage? 01:03:41.049 --> 01:03:41.610 OCDC. 01:03:42.389 --> 01:03:43.270 That's good. 01:03:43.310 --> 01:03:44.130 Is that made up? 01:03:44.410 --> 01:03:45.451 That's too good, maybe. 01:03:45.471 --> 01:03:46.192 That's too good. 01:03:46.212 --> 01:03:47.072 Is that too good? 01:03:47.212 --> 01:03:48.373 OCDC. 01:03:48.713 --> 01:03:49.574 Have you got more? 01:03:49.614 --> 01:03:50.574 I've got one more. 01:03:50.895 --> 01:03:51.895 Check this out. 01:03:52.636 --> 01:03:54.017 This is from Sean Curtis. 01:03:54.637 --> 01:03:59.440 A group of chess players were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. 01:03:59.821 --> 01:04:03.803 After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 01:04:04.124 --> 01:04:04.644 But why? 01:04:04.824 --> 01:04:06.145 They asked as they moved off. 01:04:06.525 --> 01:04:11.909 Because, said the manager, I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer. 01:04:12.449 --> 01:04:13.149 That's good. 01:04:15.050 --> 01:04:15.950 That is very good. 01:04:15.970 --> 01:04:17.631 That is good, Sean Curtis. 01:04:17.671 --> 01:04:19.652 We should have saved that one for crinklemas. 01:04:19.812 --> 01:04:20.812 I mean, that's amazing. 01:04:21.072 --> 01:04:21.532 Brilliant. 01:04:21.552 --> 01:04:23.193 We can haul that one out at Christmas again. 01:04:23.293 --> 01:04:24.113 People would have forgotten. 01:04:24.453 --> 01:04:35.057 If you've got a made up joke and you have to have thought of it yourself, and the way to make that clear is for the joke to be really pretty awful and tortured, but for there to be some structural thing happening in it. 01:04:35.077 --> 01:04:40.239 Because I can't stand chestnuts boasting in an open foyer is not in most joke books that you can open. 01:04:41.019 --> 01:04:49.085 Then send your joke to adamandjo.sixmusic at bbc.co.uk and every single joke we read out will win nothing. 01:04:49.325 --> 01:04:50.445 Will win absolutely nothing Bernie. 01:04:50.465 --> 01:04:52.167 It will save the life of the fairy. 01:04:52.587 --> 01:04:54.188 Here's the Zutons with Valerie. 01:04:54.268 --> 01:05:00.292 Got some good made up jokes coming in already on the text but a lot of people are complaining there that the chess one is not a made up joke. 01:05:00.352 --> 01:05:03.814 It's an oldie and we do rely on our listeners to out liars. 01:05:04.155 --> 01:05:04.455 What? 01:05:04.595 --> 01:05:05.956 I don't believe that's an oldie. 01:05:06.196 --> 01:05:10.239 Three or four people have texted in and one person says it's been on TV before. 01:05:11.079 --> 01:05:13.761 It's a fairly famous one that's even been on TV. 01:05:14.041 --> 01:05:14.921 Chestnuts? 01:05:15.321 --> 01:05:16.842 Boasting in an open foyer? 01:05:16.882 --> 01:05:17.182 Yes. 01:05:17.883 --> 01:05:21.245 Sean Curtis, get in touch for goodness sake to defend your good name. 01:05:21.385 --> 01:05:31.550 I mean, maybe if we did find, you know, if we prove that someone had deliberately lied, then we could get them into the studio and get some Black Squadron members in and have a live punishment. 01:05:31.670 --> 01:05:31.990 Tickle. 01:05:32.631 --> 01:05:33.111 A tickle. 01:05:33.791 --> 01:05:35.132 I mean, tickling can be dangerous. 01:05:35.632 --> 01:05:37.013 We'll have to check the castle rules. 01:05:37.033 --> 01:05:40.635 We've already established that if Black Squadron tickled you, it could be deadly. 01:05:40.675 --> 01:05:41.795 Well, they're above the law. 01:05:42.095 --> 01:05:42.556 Exactly. 01:05:42.596 --> 01:05:43.256 They can tickle you. 01:05:43.276 --> 01:05:44.117 They can do what they want. 01:05:44.137 --> 01:05:45.657 On the NFI, on the Butox. 01:05:46.718 --> 01:05:52.041 But what if there was some people from the cinema we were talking about earlier that had steel plates in their Butox? 01:05:52.261 --> 01:05:54.602 Then they wouldn't be sensitive to the tickling. 01:05:54.622 --> 01:05:56.343 They would be immune from the tickling. 01:05:56.643 --> 01:05:58.024 Anyway, we can deal with this later on. 01:05:58.864 --> 01:06:01.606 But yeah, keep your jokes coming in, especially through the week. 01:06:01.626 --> 01:06:08.471 You know, if you're listening to the podcast as well and you want to keep some coming in there, then make sure you do so. 01:06:08.771 --> 01:06:10.592 That was pretty slick, wasn't it? 01:06:10.712 --> 01:06:15.015 Now, I've been reading a book by Roald Dahl to my children recently. 01:06:15.715 --> 01:06:20.779 And, you know, Roald Dahl continues to be a favorite author for children all over the world. 01:06:20.859 --> 01:06:21.519 Well done, Roald. 01:06:21.699 --> 01:06:25.202 Did you like Roald, Ronald, as I used to call him? 01:06:25.342 --> 01:06:26.702 Yeah, I used to love Ronald. 01:06:27.643 --> 01:06:29.225 Did you ever read Danny Champion of the World? 01:06:29.565 --> 01:06:30.907 That's one I never read, no. 01:06:31.267 --> 01:06:37.393 Well, it was one that was always talked about by my contemporaries at school, and I never read it myself when I was growing up. 01:06:37.693 --> 01:06:43.259 But I remembered our friend Mark particularly saying how much he loved it, and I thought, oh, yeah, I should read that. 01:06:43.299 --> 01:06:44.300 I should get that for the boys. 01:06:44.801 --> 01:06:48.364 And it's sort of oddly dated because it's about a father and son 01:06:49.065 --> 01:06:53.470 who are involved with poaching pheasants, right, one way or another. 01:06:53.510 --> 01:07:01.539 And they kind of gang up against this nasty local landowner and teach him a lesson by doing some poaching shenanigans. 01:07:02.160 --> 01:07:05.724 But the backbone of the story is the relationship between the father... I'm seeing Mel Smith. 01:07:06.564 --> 01:07:07.685 As the local landowner. 01:07:07.705 --> 01:07:08.005 Yeah. 01:07:08.266 --> 01:07:14.390 Well, there was a film adaptation of it with with an actor and his son Was it in Jeffy Jeremy Irons was in one film? 01:07:14.410 --> 01:07:17.593 Yeah, and his and his real son played Danny didn't he possibly? 01:07:18.433 --> 01:07:30.062 Anyway, I haven't seen the film but in the book The relationship between the father and the son is absolutely key and it's in a it's sort of utopian depiction of what that relationship might be and 01:07:30.302 --> 01:07:37.586 So as a father reading this to your sons, you're forced to feel a little bit like you're coming up short as a father when you're reading it, right? 01:07:37.687 --> 01:07:37.907 Why? 01:07:37.967 --> 01:07:40.628 What kind of things is rolled saying? 01:07:41.069 --> 01:07:48.353 Well, just the things that, I mean, the extent to which the son idolizes his father, because the book is told from the point of view of Danny, the son, right? 01:07:48.793 --> 01:07:52.396 And he just talks non-stop about how perfect his father is the whole time. 01:07:52.476 --> 01:07:56.038 The mother is dead in the book, so it's just him and his dad living in a caravan. 01:07:56.058 --> 01:07:56.559 So she's off the hook? 01:07:56.819 --> 01:07:58.160 She's off the hook, no problem. 01:07:58.180 --> 01:07:59.021 It's all on the dad. 01:07:59.561 --> 01:08:01.082 And they just live in this caravan. 01:08:01.102 --> 01:08:02.343 They don't have a TV or anything. 01:08:02.683 --> 01:08:04.264 No sort of serious mod cons. 01:08:04.605 --> 01:08:09.148 They just live this life totally disconnected from DSs and Teles and all those other things. 01:08:09.228 --> 01:08:10.949 Well, it was written probably in the 70s, wasn't it? 01:08:11.109 --> 01:08:11.970 It was, yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:08:12.150 --> 01:08:22.936 But so they just make up their own entertainment and every day is a wonderful rollercoaster ride of wonder and fantastical things thanks to Danny's dad. 01:08:23.436 --> 01:08:33.142 And as I was reading it, like I was sort of embarrassed reading it to my son because I fell so far short of this ideal that had been set up by Roald Dahl. 01:08:33.762 --> 01:08:39.766 So what I've done is I've I'm going to read you like a paragraph from the book, a real paragraph from Danny Champion of the World. 01:08:40.266 --> 01:08:46.170 And then you have to see where I've slightly added the reality of my own fatherhood onto the end. 01:08:46.630 --> 01:08:46.891 Okay? 01:08:47.851 --> 01:08:50.353 So here's a bit from Danny Champion of the World by Roald Dahl. 01:08:51.093 --> 01:08:53.835 I really loved those morning walks to school with my father. 01:08:54.216 --> 01:08:55.877 We talked practically the whole time. 01:08:56.477 --> 01:09:00.960 Mostly, it was just he who talked and I who listened, and just about everything he said was fascinating. 01:09:01.280 --> 01:09:02.381 He was a true countryman. 01:09:02.721 --> 01:09:07.785 The fields, the streams, the woods, and all the creatures who lived in these places were a part of his life. 01:09:08.385 --> 01:09:14.730 Although he was a mechanic by trade, and a very fine one, I believe he could have become a great naturalist if only he had had good schooling. 01:09:15.230 --> 01:09:25.938 Long ago he had taught me the names of all the trees and the wild flowers, and all the grasses that grow in the fields, all the birds too, I could name, not only by citing them, but by listening to their calls and their songs. 01:09:26.618 --> 01:09:39.022 Then one day, my father was arrested for poaching, and was placed in the care of a short—I was placed in the care of a short stocky man with a beard, who insisted I call him either Buckuleys or Dr. Buckles, although he was not really a doctor. 01:09:39.602 --> 01:09:46.324 He said that he didn't have time to walk me to school, because he was working on important jingles, and from now on he would drive me instead. 01:09:46.924 --> 01:09:52.686 I tried to ask him the names of the trees and plants we passed as we drove, but he couldn't tell me what a single one was called. 01:09:53.286 --> 01:09:55.307 Often he was unsure which were actually trees. 01:09:56.067 --> 01:10:02.190 I asked him what kind of engine his car had, and he said he thought the car took diesel and that it was silver, but that was it. 01:10:02.871 --> 01:10:06.933 I asked him about politics, and he started mumbling about everything being Al Gore's fault. 01:10:07.553 --> 01:10:12.136 After a few days, the conversation ran out altogether, and we sat in silence on the trips to school. 01:10:12.576 --> 01:10:17.559 Then one morning, he emerged from the house brandishing a shiny disc which he thrust into the car's CD player. 01:10:18.059 --> 01:10:22.464 He turned to me and said, I've made us a simply marvellous compilation to listen to in the car, Danny. 01:10:22.884 --> 01:10:25.346 There's some B-sides by Dirty Shirty and the buggernauts. 01:10:25.887 --> 01:10:30.011 And there's a few life tracks by Jimmy Big Nuts, Pointy Pinger, and Jihadaway. 01:10:30.632 --> 01:10:33.654 I think this is going to be the most wonderful trip to school you've ever taken. 01:10:34.315 --> 01:10:39.380 I opened the car door and ran and ran, and I didn't stop running until I was far, far away. 01:10:40.501 --> 01:10:44.502 Could you tell where the real story changed and where I came in there? 01:10:45.643 --> 01:10:45.963 No, no. 01:10:47.003 --> 01:10:49.784 The transition was so smooth. 01:10:50.845 --> 01:10:53.586 You wait till you're a father and you read Danny Champion of the World. 01:10:53.686 --> 01:10:56.587 You will feel a little bit on the guilty side, I can guarantee. 01:10:57.387 --> 01:10:58.868 It's dramatic opposites, though, isn't it? 01:10:58.928 --> 01:11:01.328 Because he's a poacher, he's a criminal. 01:11:03.109 --> 01:11:04.630 But he's a brilliant, lovely criminal. 01:11:04.850 --> 01:11:05.690 He's a noble criminal. 01:11:06.270 --> 01:11:17.081 So that works well dramatically, but whereas you are a lazy father who doesn't care as much about his... No, I have to word this carefully. 01:11:17.121 --> 01:11:17.542 Yeah, you do. 01:11:17.582 --> 01:11:21.345 But you present yourself as a lazy father who's more interested in his own concerns. 01:11:21.365 --> 01:11:28.973 You know, the thing that worried me most was the fact that the names of the trees and the birds and stuff like that, you know? 01:11:29.133 --> 01:11:34.220 So what would work for you is if you didn't have kids and then you were shouldered with some relatives' kids. 01:11:34.280 --> 01:11:38.485 You know that would then be a good thing and you were forced to learn about parenthood. 01:11:38.685 --> 01:11:42.711 Yeah, but why can't the children be interested in Einster's Endenoy button and stuff like that? 01:11:42.731 --> 01:11:44.593 I could tell them all sorts of things about that. 01:11:44.613 --> 01:11:45.414 That's what kids are for. 01:11:46.896 --> 01:11:48.717 to destroy you, to kill you. 01:11:48.857 --> 01:11:49.558 Yeah, there you go. 01:11:49.578 --> 01:11:50.819 Here's some music right now. 01:11:50.839 --> 01:11:51.940 This is M.I.A. 01:11:52.040 --> 01:11:53.041 with Paper Planes. 01:11:53.281 --> 01:11:56.023 Some Beatles with She Said, She Said. 01:11:56.043 --> 01:12:00.747 And there's a big week of all Beatles stuff on telly, isn't there, coming up? 01:12:01.087 --> 01:12:03.889 Yeah, because they are re-releasing, probably not for the last time. 01:12:03.929 --> 01:12:06.892 Every time they re-release the Beatles back catalogue, you think, surely that's it. 01:12:07.372 --> 01:12:11.596 But nah, they always find some new way of re-releasing the whole lot and getting excited about it. 01:12:12.496 --> 01:12:15.139 And I'm excited about it, because they always do find new little nuggets. 01:12:15.499 --> 01:12:21.384 I mean, it won't be the same when all four of the Beatles are finally no longer with us, you know? 01:12:21.524 --> 01:12:24.146 That sad day will come. 01:12:24.626 --> 01:12:25.967 When they crash into the Eiffel Tower. 01:12:25.987 --> 01:12:31.912 When they crash into the Eiffel Tower, or they get in a car with a murderer, something like that. 01:12:32.032 --> 01:12:36.716 But, you know, it's still interesting reading the interviews with Paul McCartney and stuff that are around, and he's talking about 01:12:37.657 --> 01:12:45.163 you know, John Lennon not actually being so grumpy as he's made out to be and so acerbic. 01:12:45.504 --> 01:12:48.946 Some people are sort of saying, well, John Lennon, you used to really slag off Paul McCartney. 01:12:50.308 --> 01:12:53.010 And Paul says, no, no, no, he we got on very well. 01:12:53.130 --> 01:12:54.211 It was just the way he was. 01:12:54.271 --> 01:13:01.116 He would be fast and loose and say crazy old Gallagher style things or Liam Gallagher style things. 01:13:01.156 --> 01:13:01.817 And actually, he was a lot 01:13:01.877 --> 01:13:03.098 Lennon's overrated anyway. 01:13:03.158 --> 01:13:06.100 He couldn't record an album like Pipes of Peace if he tried. 01:13:06.120 --> 01:13:06.980 That's right. 01:13:07.061 --> 01:13:08.522 And he'd be lost with a frog chorus. 01:13:09.322 --> 01:13:10.443 He wouldn't know what to do with him. 01:13:10.663 --> 01:13:13.485 He'd be absolutely lost. 01:13:13.545 --> 01:13:19.429 It's Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music coming up to our last half hour here this Saturday morning. 01:13:19.589 --> 01:13:22.491 It's 11.30 and it's time for the news. 01:13:22.831 --> 01:13:39.071 mystery jets uh now that's not called two doors down is it yeah yeah yeah really think i'm in love with a girl who lives two doors down that's what they were singing there you go well then it is it is called two doors down this is adam and joan bbc6 music now we were asking for made up jokes and we were sent one 01:13:39.691 --> 01:13:41.052 to do with a chess convention. 01:13:41.392 --> 01:13:42.833 Sean Curtis sent this in. 01:13:42.853 --> 01:13:46.595 A group of chess players standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. 01:13:46.955 --> 01:13:49.636 After an hour, the manager comes out of the office and asks them to disperse. 01:13:49.736 --> 01:13:50.516 Why, they ask. 01:13:50.797 --> 01:13:55.259 Because, he says, I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer. 01:13:55.699 --> 01:13:58.000 I was very, very impressed. 01:13:58.080 --> 01:13:59.781 And Chris, his name's Chris Wright. 01:13:59.961 --> 01:14:00.661 Sean Curtis. 01:14:00.781 --> 01:14:02.282 Sean, his name's Chris Wright. 01:14:03.203 --> 01:14:05.724 Sean told us that he'd made that up. 01:14:06.084 --> 01:14:06.924 Well, I don't know. 01:14:07.044 --> 01:14:11.206 James has clipped the joke out of his email, so we don't have the rest of the email to hand. 01:14:11.226 --> 01:14:14.768 But still, that's a terrible lie, and the rules are very strict here at the castle. 01:14:14.788 --> 01:14:16.649 He might not have lied though, he might have just sent it in. 01:14:16.669 --> 01:14:19.450 He said it was made up. 01:14:19.570 --> 01:14:20.690 Adam's trying to defend him there. 01:14:20.710 --> 01:14:21.291 I was. 01:14:21.311 --> 01:14:29.234 We've got a flurry of texts and emails presenting evidence that the joke is in fact very old, including this one from Freddy. 01:14:29.714 --> 01:14:31.475 Fraud, for exclamation marks. 01:14:33.236 --> 01:14:37.320 7,650 Google Hits for chestnuts boasting in an open foyer. 01:14:37.821 --> 01:14:40.844 Bring the cheat in for a black squadron tickling. 01:14:41.785 --> 01:14:45.468 So this week we are going to try and get in touch with Sean. 01:14:45.969 --> 01:14:49.793 We're going to arrange for him to be brought to the station in chains. 01:14:50.453 --> 01:14:56.316 And then if all goes according to plan, we will select a Black Squadron member to come into the studio as well. 01:14:56.697 --> 01:15:09.084 And then either next week or the week after, depending on how long it takes to arrange, or possibly never, depending on the rules, there will be a sort of a public flogging in the studio, or tickling, not flogging. 01:15:09.164 --> 01:15:12.265 And does he have to come in change, or can he come in brushes too? 01:15:12.285 --> 01:15:15.127 Okay. 01:15:17.910 --> 01:15:20.971 Yeah, no, he has to come in chains on the chain. 01:15:20.991 --> 01:15:21.791 A couple of chains. 01:15:21.811 --> 01:15:22.852 He has to come on the chain. 01:15:23.532 --> 01:15:27.393 So there we go, because we don't put up with that kind of thing here at the Adam and JoJo. 01:15:27.433 --> 01:15:29.934 Sean, I can't believe you'd let me down like that, boy. 01:15:30.134 --> 01:15:30.834 What are you thinking? 01:15:30.894 --> 01:15:32.295 We got that joke over the summer. 01:15:32.995 --> 01:15:36.577 So we weren't able to properly... He might not be listening. 01:15:36.757 --> 01:15:43.260 He might well have left the country because of... He might have other joke fraud charges currently pending. 01:15:43.300 --> 01:15:46.121 He might be doing some international Nigerian joke fraud. 01:15:46.141 --> 01:15:47.922 He's the Ronnie Biggs of the joke world. 01:15:48.302 --> 01:15:50.323 He's gone off to live in luxury. 01:15:51.724 --> 01:15:55.946 We're gonna track him down and we're gonna bring him to justice for your benefit listeners. 01:15:55.966 --> 01:15:56.826 Alright. 01:15:57.406 --> 01:15:57.867 Alright. 01:15:57.927 --> 01:15:59.187 Now here's a free play for you folks. 01:15:59.227 --> 01:16:04.469 This is The New Pornographers and I like this song because it's... I like this song because? 01:16:04.570 --> 01:16:04.990 I like that. 01:16:05.010 --> 01:16:06.650 The reason I like this song is because. 01:16:07.111 --> 01:16:09.512 I like it because it is about archaeologists. 01:16:09.732 --> 01:16:10.632 Times up. 01:16:10.672 --> 01:16:14.594 There are not many songs about archaeologists and it makes me think of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. 01:16:14.614 --> 01:16:14.934 You're kidding. 01:16:15.214 --> 01:16:17.255 This is called The Bones of an Idol by The New Pornographers. 01:16:17.535 --> 01:16:18.416 Love that song. 01:16:18.636 --> 01:16:20.938 That's The Bones of an Idol by The New Pornographers. 01:16:21.118 --> 01:16:28.204 Now we promised last week that we were going to canvas suggestions for a Song Wars subject from you, the listeners. 01:16:29.045 --> 01:16:32.288 They poured into our blog and we have made our decision. 01:16:32.868 --> 01:16:36.311 But shall we tell people what kind of things were suggested? 01:16:36.792 --> 01:16:40.495 Yeah, we had lots of fantastic suggestions on the blog. 01:16:41.756 --> 01:16:45.180 Here is, for instance, one that Gary Socrates sent in. 01:16:45.620 --> 01:16:52.267 He wanted us to do a song about our favourite animal in the zoo in the style of a 70s prog rock band. 01:16:52.728 --> 01:16:58.974 This could then be developed into a concept album along the lines of pictures of an exhibition, except about monkeys, for instance. 01:16:59.515 --> 01:17:00.997 That is an idea that we rejected. 01:17:01.497 --> 01:17:02.798 Yeah, I thought it was no good. 01:17:02.818 --> 01:17:04.279 It's insanely complicated. 01:17:04.299 --> 01:17:06.180 It's good, no, but we didn't think it was no good. 01:17:06.200 --> 01:17:08.242 We thought it was brilliant, but it was too much for us. 01:17:08.462 --> 01:17:08.702 Yeah. 01:17:08.982 --> 01:17:11.084 Here was one from Mike Murr. 01:17:11.624 --> 01:17:13.826 He says, I think a sea shanty would be great. 01:17:13.866 --> 01:17:15.787 I've got no specific themes in mind. 01:17:16.327 --> 01:17:22.071 I'd just love to hear you do a sea shanty, little accordion, perhaps some seagull noises to complete the scene. 01:17:22.111 --> 01:17:25.634 Well, I've got a melodica, and that would be good for a sea shanty, I think. 01:17:25.894 --> 01:17:26.875 I like that suggestion. 01:17:27.015 --> 01:17:28.575 There was some very good suggestions. 01:17:28.615 --> 01:17:32.077 Here was one of my favourite ones, even though this didn't make it. 01:17:32.437 --> 01:17:35.059 Er, Derek Boland wanted a fantasy face-off. 01:17:35.579 --> 01:17:47.605 He wanted one of us to play the role of Hoggle from Labyrinth, and another to play the role of Dobby from Harry Potter, Dobby the Howself, and then they would both throw songs insulting their masters. 01:17:48.426 --> 01:17:52.808 Er, to quote, he says they would throw insults back and forth about whose master is the bigger Ponce. 01:17:53.808 --> 01:17:58.272 Jareth, the goblin king from Labyrinth, or Harry Potter, from Harry Potter. 01:17:58.332 --> 01:17:59.373 Is he really called Jareth? 01:17:59.413 --> 01:18:00.774 Jareth. 01:18:00.814 --> 01:18:01.675 That would make sense. 01:18:01.715 --> 01:18:02.255 What a terrible name. 01:18:02.276 --> 01:18:05.838 Like a mix between Jared and Gareth. 01:18:06.319 --> 01:18:09.902 And he wanted that sung in a light opera Gilbert and Sullivan style. 01:18:10.602 --> 01:18:11.603 I mean, that's a good idea. 01:18:11.643 --> 01:18:13.765 We might store that one up in the memory box. 01:18:13.845 --> 01:18:15.527 And is he definitely hoggle, not coggle? 01:18:16.187 --> 01:18:17.868 No, you were saying Kogel, I think. 01:18:17.888 --> 01:18:18.488 What were we saying? 01:18:18.528 --> 01:18:19.088 We got it right. 01:18:19.108 --> 01:18:19.988 I can't remember. 01:18:20.048 --> 01:18:21.569 It's blended in my mind. 01:18:21.609 --> 01:18:24.530 We got wrapped on the knuckles before for confusing Kogel and Kogel. 01:18:24.930 --> 01:18:27.251 But listen, here is the one we have chosen. 01:18:27.571 --> 01:18:29.971 And this was sent in by Rufus Blacklock. 01:18:30.272 --> 01:18:34.453 And he wrote, please, Adam and Joe, I need some bath time songs for when I'm in the bath. 01:18:34.913 --> 01:18:38.576 Perhaps reggae, like Under the Sea in The Little Mermaid? 01:18:39.116 --> 01:18:42.358 Please make them bubbly, splooshy, and all watery. 01:18:42.798 --> 01:18:43.899 Thanks, says Rufus." 01:18:44.319 --> 01:18:50.203 So that had a simplicity that appeals to Adam and I, even though, do you think we're going to come up with quite similar songs? 01:18:50.263 --> 01:18:50.944 Probably, yeah. 01:18:50.964 --> 01:18:52.085 There's a limited 01:18:52.805 --> 01:18:56.127 set of experiences in the bath. 01:18:56.307 --> 01:18:58.649 We'll play next week as well as our songs. 01:18:58.689 --> 01:19:03.412 We should play a track called Bathtime in Clarkingwell by The Real Tuesday World, which is very good. 01:19:03.712 --> 01:19:04.793 It's just instrumental, though. 01:19:05.013 --> 01:19:09.416 I think we should try and push ourselves away from the more obvious bath references. 01:19:09.496 --> 01:19:09.936 Or maybe not. 01:19:10.276 --> 01:19:11.637 Maybe just let it happen as it happens. 01:19:11.817 --> 01:19:14.440 Why don't you push yourself away from the obvious thing? 01:19:14.460 --> 01:19:15.921 And you go for it. 01:19:15.961 --> 01:19:17.022 Yeah, you're right. 01:19:18.083 --> 01:19:22.686 I was thinking, because the big decision is who you are in the bath. 01:19:22.767 --> 01:19:24.108 Are you going to be just yourself? 01:19:24.328 --> 01:19:26.029 Or you could be anyone in the bath. 01:19:26.049 --> 01:19:28.151 You could be a special person having a bath. 01:19:28.171 --> 01:19:29.052 No one's your wife. 01:19:29.412 --> 01:19:35.115 And Jane Vids having a bath running the bath and it's bubbling over my bits. 01:19:36.776 --> 01:19:38.937 Hey, come on, we don't play them till next week. 01:19:39.278 --> 01:19:40.178 But, you know, that would do. 01:19:41.719 --> 01:19:42.920 As far as I'm concerned, that would do. 01:19:42.940 --> 01:19:43.800 So that's what we're going to go with. 01:19:43.860 --> 01:19:47.282 Sometime between now and next week we are going to write songs about bath. 01:19:47.462 --> 01:19:50.784 And yeah, we'll be playing those next week if all goes according to plan. 01:19:50.824 --> 01:19:54.026 Thank you very much, Rufus, and thanks to everyone who put suggestions on our blog. 01:19:54.066 --> 01:19:57.828 If you want to visit our blog, it's at pbc.co.uk forward slash blogs. 01:19:58.408 --> 01:20:05.755 forward slash Adam and Joe and it's a reciprocal for all of your relevant waffle a Reciprocal. 01:20:06.116 --> 01:20:07.757 Yeah, receptacle receptacle. 01:20:07.777 --> 01:20:15.745 Oh God You're going all Jareth on the listeners arses and don't forget as well. 01:20:15.805 --> 01:20:21.330 There is a podcast available of this show which comes out on a Monday evening, I think it was 01:20:22.031 --> 01:20:23.512 Yeah, it came out Monday last week, didn't it? 01:20:23.612 --> 01:20:25.194 Even though it was bank holiday, James. 01:20:25.214 --> 01:20:26.875 That's the kind of producer we've got on here. 01:20:26.895 --> 01:20:28.217 It was out on Sunday last week. 01:20:28.237 --> 01:20:28.437 Was it? 01:20:28.457 --> 01:20:35.063 There was a lot of excitement on another non-castle-sponsored blog, Adamandjo.com, which is another very good fan blog. 01:20:35.103 --> 01:20:37.325 They were very excited that it popped up. 01:20:37.905 --> 01:20:55.531 on Sunday top producing James he puts our podcast together from highlights so-called highlights from this program and it's a very enjoyable listen if I do say so myself so check it out he's gonna yeah sorry mate play we're gonna play another record then we'll be back to wrap up text the nation yeah here's the kinks with Waterloo sunset 01:20:55.931 --> 01:20:57.712 That's the kinks there with Waterloo Sunset. 01:20:57.732 --> 01:21:01.613 This is Adam and Joe on BBC6 Music in the last 10 minutes of our show. 01:21:01.873 --> 01:21:03.354 We're going to wrap up Text the Nation. 01:21:03.374 --> 01:21:04.914 Are we going to have a bit of a jingle? 01:21:04.934 --> 01:21:05.835 A bit of a jingle-jungle. 01:21:05.855 --> 01:21:09.056 You haven't got any listener jingles there, have you, James, by any chance? 01:21:09.576 --> 01:21:18.819 Sometimes what we do is we get some of our listeners to send in their own versions of some of the jingles we use here on the programme, and feel free to do that any time you wish. 01:21:19.659 --> 01:21:20.500 James, have you got one there? 01:21:20.520 --> 01:21:23.401 Yeah, here's one that a listener sent in of our Text the Nation jingle. 01:21:24.401 --> 01:21:24.842 Oh, hello. 01:21:25.062 --> 01:21:29.626 Now, we were sort of getting people to try and copy the jingle as accurately as possible, right? 01:21:29.706 --> 01:21:32.448 Yeah, do their own insane versions thereof. 01:21:32.508 --> 01:21:33.409 Yeah, remixes. 01:21:33.529 --> 01:21:34.150 That kind of thing. 01:21:34.190 --> 01:21:35.090 Like this, for example. 01:21:35.351 --> 01:21:40.795 Text a nation, text a nation, what if I don't want to? 01:21:41.276 --> 01:21:47.001 Text a nation, I've got a musically amazed. 01:21:47.081 --> 01:21:51.705 Text a nation, text a nation, what would I do with this? 01:21:56.925 --> 01:22:00.988 Oh, there we go. 01:22:01.028 --> 01:22:02.529 It's because of his regional accent. 01:22:02.549 --> 01:22:03.289 He's a Jordy. 01:22:04.590 --> 01:22:08.433 I like it generally when words are sung funny to make them fit a tune. 01:22:08.453 --> 01:22:09.354 Do you know what I mean? 01:22:09.374 --> 01:22:12.436 Slightly mispronounced to make them fit a tune. 01:22:12.536 --> 01:22:17.640 I did a jingle for this show the other day that I never bought in because I ended up to fit it into the beat. 01:22:17.740 --> 01:22:20.623 I ended up singing Adam and Jo on the BBC. 01:22:21.684 --> 01:22:22.745 Because I said BBC. 01:22:23.926 --> 01:22:25.668 I can't have a jingle that says BBC. 01:22:25.828 --> 01:22:27.550 I've got some new jingles for the podcast this week. 01:22:27.570 --> 01:22:29.112 They're a tiny bit on the embarrassing side. 01:22:29.152 --> 01:22:29.452 Are they? 01:22:29.613 --> 01:22:29.873 Yeah. 01:22:30.253 --> 01:22:31.635 You have to listen to the podcast to find out. 01:22:31.655 --> 01:22:32.176 That was very good. 01:22:32.196 --> 01:22:32.896 Who was that by there? 01:22:32.977 --> 01:22:39.444 That was unusually sincere and that was not a reworking of our existing jingle, but an entirely new take on the whole textination. 01:22:39.464 --> 01:22:40.425 Who's the chap that done that? 01:22:41.546 --> 01:22:41.887 Alex. 01:22:42.067 --> 01:22:42.847 Adam, there you go. 01:22:43.348 --> 01:22:47.151 Anyway, so Text the Nation this week is all about a cinema manifesto we're putting together. 01:22:47.191 --> 01:22:58.059 We want your new rules for behaviour and etiquette at cinemas that we're going to impose on all cinemas in the British Isles, otherwise they'll be subverted in a way we haven't thought of yet by Black Squadron. 01:22:58.480 --> 01:23:00.121 So here are some good suggestions. 01:23:02.343 --> 01:23:02.563 Mmm. 01:23:02.583 --> 01:23:04.685 What was the pirate? 01:23:05.005 --> 01:23:07.447 The pirate and then the fill in quick succession. 01:23:08.367 --> 01:23:09.308 Wow, what a great moment. 01:23:09.348 --> 01:23:10.048 It's pirate Phil. 01:23:10.808 --> 01:23:14.830 Michelle and Ian, in their conservatory, in Rainey Bolton. 01:23:15.330 --> 01:23:23.193 They say the following, people used to clap or cheer when the British board of film classification information came on the screen as it signalled the start of the film. 01:23:23.614 --> 01:23:27.155 I remember this fondly and still give a quiet little cheer even now. 01:23:27.255 --> 01:23:29.456 Please make this mandatory in your manifesto. 01:23:29.556 --> 01:23:30.136 I agree. 01:23:30.156 --> 01:23:31.277 The whole audience must go... 01:23:32.398 --> 01:23:39.062 Because I still, I still, when that logo comes up on the screen, I still reach across and grab the arm of whoever I'm with and give them a little thumbs up. 01:23:39.082 --> 01:23:40.643 A free son of a child. 01:23:41.264 --> 01:23:41.784 Here we go! 01:23:41.824 --> 01:23:42.285 Hold tight. 01:23:42.445 --> 01:23:46.647 Strap yourselves down for two and a half hours of bone. 01:23:46.788 --> 01:23:47.648 Pointless noise. 01:23:48.769 --> 01:23:51.151 Here is another one that comes from Amanda and Liam. 01:23:51.491 --> 01:23:52.952 They say, cinema passport. 01:23:53.312 --> 01:23:55.974 You get a unique stamp for every film scene. 01:23:56.314 --> 01:23:57.195 So you have a record. 01:23:57.415 --> 01:24:01.878 It's a way to show off plus screen potential friends and outliers. 01:24:02.618 --> 01:24:06.166 Quite a good idea, you have a passport, when you see a film they stamp it on the way in. 01:24:06.728 --> 01:24:07.590 So you'd end up with a book. 01:24:11.272 --> 01:24:18.157 What was the last minute? 01:24:18.197 --> 01:24:23.882 Here's one from Eggman from East Kill Bride. 01:24:23.982 --> 01:24:28.085 Adam and Jo, my input to the manifesto is regarding armrests on seats. 01:24:28.665 --> 01:24:34.090 Cinemas should provide armrests for each seat rather than some kind of communal one between each seat. 01:24:34.130 --> 01:24:39.634 This causes unacceptable levels of elbow jostling and awkwardness if you've got a stranger on one side of you. 01:24:40.114 --> 01:25:04.299 true if this is unworkable then people should only be allowed to rest their elbow on the armrest to their right where the drink holder is failure to comply should be punished with amputation oh dear i have a similar thing i was in the cinema the other day and a man came and sat next to me and he put his arm on the same rest as mine and the little hairs on his arm oh were like daintily touching my arm your bare arm yeah and it was once sexy and utterly revolting and did he just leave it there 01:25:04.799 --> 01:25:06.320 Yeah, well, it was kind of like a challenge. 01:25:06.360 --> 01:25:09.922 It was like a little fairy light challenge along my hairy arm. 01:25:09.962 --> 01:25:14.145 As soon as I get any stranger flesh contact, I withdraw immediately. 01:25:14.165 --> 01:25:17.688 Well, that's what he wanted me to do, but I thought, oh, yeah, that's the game you're playing, are you? 01:25:17.848 --> 01:25:18.108 Yeah. 01:25:18.168 --> 01:25:19.809 So the way to go is to sort of caress back. 01:25:19.869 --> 01:25:23.651 So the hair on your arm stood up and started intermingling with his. 01:25:23.671 --> 01:25:26.453 I just plunged my hand into his inner thigh and started tickling. 01:25:27.794 --> 01:25:41.908 and then reached round to the butox that found they were encased in metal yes have we got any more let's have a look um yes somebody tim in chelty says using a seat for coats is all right but it must be paid for 01:25:46.255 --> 01:25:47.897 That's just from the cinema manager. 01:25:48.157 --> 01:25:59.428 Matt in Sheffield says, when a rat runs across your feet, as happened to me in the Leicester Square odian, the management are to refund the price of your ticket, not argue with you that it's hard for them with rats because they're so close to the underground. 01:26:00.829 --> 01:26:02.431 Good old Leicester Square. 01:26:02.471 --> 01:26:04.353 That used to happen in the Scarlett, do you remember that? 01:26:04.393 --> 01:26:04.613 Yeah. 01:26:04.773 --> 01:26:05.614 Rats in cinema is good. 01:26:05.634 --> 01:26:09.237 Well, they used to have a cat in the scarlet in London's King's Cross that would eat all the rats. 01:26:09.277 --> 01:26:14.602 And finally, from Ross Smith, there should be a remote control to let you watch another film if the whole audience agrees. 01:26:14.982 --> 01:26:17.665 Just like in Britain's Got Talent, everyone presses a button when they're bored. 01:26:17.905 --> 01:26:19.546 There's a big cheer when it's the majority. 01:26:19.747 --> 01:26:20.107 Wow. 01:26:20.267 --> 01:26:22.829 If that was up to cornballs, you'd be fast-forwarding to the good bit. 01:26:22.849 --> 01:26:23.250 Yeah. 01:26:23.750 --> 01:26:23.950 What? 01:26:24.150 --> 01:26:25.091 That's your technique, isn't it? 01:26:25.312 --> 01:26:28.174 When we sit down to watch DVDs, sometimes you're like, oh, this is a boring bit. 01:26:28.454 --> 01:26:29.816 And you skip to the good part. 01:26:30.416 --> 01:26:31.076 Well you used to. 01:26:31.377 --> 01:26:32.397 Maybe you've matured since then. 01:26:32.417 --> 01:26:32.737 Maybe. 01:26:32.997 --> 01:26:37.760 Hey listen, keep your suggestions for our film manifesto coming in on our blog and we'll put the top ten up. 01:26:38.120 --> 01:26:39.120 That's it from us this week. 01:26:39.461 --> 01:26:40.661 Thank you so much for listening. 01:26:40.721 --> 01:26:41.762 Liz Kershaw's coming up. 01:26:41.802 --> 01:26:43.363 Right now here's one final free play. 01:26:43.383 --> 01:26:44.103 This is yours, Joe. 01:26:44.203 --> 01:26:49.246 Yeah, this is Michael Jackson, the pop singer that died recently from his recent album, Invincible. 01:26:49.266 --> 01:26:51.247 This is a remix of a track called Butterfly. 01:26:51.267 --> 01:26:51.907 We'll see you next week. 01:26:51.947 --> 01:26:52.487 Take care, listeners. 01:26:52.507 --> 01:26:52.647 Bye!