WEBVTT 00:05.350 --> 00:06.992 Oh, that's wonderful! 00:07.352 --> 00:09.795 I got so bored with the last hour again! 00:14.793 --> 00:19.515 Wait, is he running for governor, mayor or president? 00:19.855 --> 00:21.976 He's got to make up his mind, isn't he? 00:22.136 --> 00:22.676 It's hard to tell. 00:22.716 --> 00:27.117 We've got photos of the artists we play here on our sheet that our producer James has given us. 00:27.798 --> 00:30.919 And the photo of James Brown looks like one of his arrest photos. 00:30.939 --> 00:32.319 Yeah, that's one of his arrest photos. 00:32.359 --> 00:33.880 He doesn't look in very good shape, does he? 00:35.401 --> 00:36.742 He looks haggard and tired. 00:37.363 --> 00:39.926 His manifesto is a little confused though. 00:41.148 --> 00:43.010 Fair enough, you've got to get over before you go under. 00:43.170 --> 00:44.111 That's absolutely fine. 00:44.372 --> 00:45.813 That's a good platform to stand on. 00:46.634 --> 00:49.178 But you've got to save your money like the mob. 00:49.999 --> 00:52.061 Is that a good thing to be telling the voters? 00:52.922 --> 00:55.503 Well, you know, the government, they're just a legitimate mob, aren't they? 00:55.703 --> 00:56.123 Right. 00:56.383 --> 00:57.583 So it's the same thing, really. 00:57.703 --> 00:59.124 He's just being upfront about it. 00:59.224 --> 00:59.484 Yeah. 00:59.904 --> 01:00.384 Being honest. 01:00.484 --> 01:01.244 Would you vote for him? 01:01.584 --> 01:01.765 Yes. 01:02.205 --> 01:03.765 Especially with that picture as well? 01:03.905 --> 01:04.105 Yes. 01:04.705 --> 01:05.666 Definitely with the picture. 01:06.226 --> 01:07.146 Hey, good morning, listeners. 01:07.706 --> 01:08.386 We're Adam and Jo. 01:08.446 --> 01:08.886 I'm Jo. 01:09.067 --> 01:09.507 I'm Adam. 01:09.747 --> 01:13.288 And welcome to Britain's top political phone-in show. 01:13.408 --> 01:17.049 For the next three hours, your chance to let off steam over the issues of the day. 01:17.529 --> 01:19.409 Gordon Brown, can we still trust him? 01:19.850 --> 01:21.290 Why can't he be straight with the country? 01:21.890 --> 01:24.833 Alistair Darling, couldn't Britain really spend its way out of recession? 01:25.033 --> 01:25.713 Alex Sammond. 01:25.914 --> 01:27.775 Thanks for sending us down the river! 01:28.156 --> 01:30.438 Swine flu, mass pandemic or mass panic? 01:30.778 --> 01:31.478 Absolutely. 01:31.498 --> 01:33.480 All the issues of the day for the next three hours. 01:34.161 --> 01:37.303 Plus the millennium dome. 01:37.744 --> 01:39.685 What are we doing with this white elephant? 01:39.766 --> 01:40.466 White elephant? 01:41.307 --> 01:42.087 Oh, elephant! 01:43.780 --> 01:44.621 Or actual elephant. 01:44.881 --> 01:46.642 So get in, let off some steam, get angry. 01:46.742 --> 01:50.904 It's not a political phone-in show. 01:50.964 --> 01:51.705 I thought it was. 01:51.765 --> 01:53.185 I thought you were saying it was. 01:53.225 --> 01:57.568 I thought that was the whole point of what you were saying was that part of our rebrand... Gordon Brown. 01:58.268 --> 01:58.508 Yeah. 01:58.989 --> 01:59.349 That's all. 01:59.389 --> 01:59.769 Go on. 02:00.229 --> 02:01.030 Gordon Brown. 02:01.130 --> 02:01.470 That's all. 02:01.490 --> 02:02.490 You just have to say it like that. 02:02.510 --> 02:04.431 You just have to phone in and say... Gordon Brown. 02:04.471 --> 02:05.232 Gordon Brown. 02:06.408 --> 02:07.549 Yeah, that's what it's gonna be like. 02:08.370 --> 02:09.791 Three hours of that. 02:09.871 --> 02:11.572 No music, just phoning. 02:12.393 --> 02:13.233 Every now and again. 02:13.474 --> 02:15.075 We don't even have adverts as well. 02:15.355 --> 02:17.017 It's just gonna be angry people on the phone. 02:17.037 --> 02:17.677 Hardcore ranting. 02:18.238 --> 02:19.138 Hardcore ranting. 02:19.459 --> 02:23.222 Remember, remember, the 5th of September, now it's no longer so hot. 02:25.864 --> 02:28.326 Because I thought, you know, they've got one for the 5th of November. 02:29.477 --> 02:31.299 Yes, and it's cooling down. 02:31.559 --> 02:32.780 Gunpowder, treason and plot. 02:33.500 --> 02:34.581 That's good man, well done. 02:34.661 --> 02:38.625 I've got some other ones for like the other fifths of the months as well. 02:39.105 --> 02:40.526 Fifth of June, do you want to hear it? 02:40.626 --> 02:40.887 Yes. 02:41.387 --> 02:46.812 Remember Baboon, it's the fifth of June soon, probably, it will be quite hot. 02:47.472 --> 02:49.733 Yeah, the thing you're missing is that... What? 02:49.794 --> 02:53.716 I think the November the 5th one was because it was... Gunpowder, treason and plot. 02:53.836 --> 02:55.117 Yeah, fireworks night. 02:55.157 --> 02:56.217 Yeah, so I've got the rhyme. 02:56.538 --> 02:59.119 Yeah, but there was an event for the rhyme to commemorate. 02:59.259 --> 03:00.900 It probably, it will be hot. 03:01.381 --> 03:03.802 Was there something baboon related on the 5th of June? 03:03.822 --> 03:05.083 That was mainly for the rhyme. 03:06.644 --> 03:06.844 Right. 03:06.944 --> 03:08.225 But it's aimed at baboons. 03:08.485 --> 03:09.125 All right, how about this? 03:10.286 --> 03:10.767 5th of March. 03:11.368 --> 03:13.813 Remember the larch on the 5th day of March. 03:14.154 --> 03:15.837 The tree has been growing a lot. 03:17.380 --> 03:19.063 Now that's touching, that's very sweet. 03:19.123 --> 03:20.405 Well it's poetic, isn't it? 03:20.505 --> 03:21.487 Yes it is poetic, isn't it? 03:21.507 --> 03:22.128 Remember the larch. 03:23.444 --> 03:25.865 Because people tend to forget about the Larch in March. 03:26.345 --> 03:34.308 You know, they're still excited about... They're getting over Christmas in the New Year festivities and stuff, and they're still adjusting to the New Year. 03:34.329 --> 03:35.229 Do one for December. 03:36.209 --> 03:37.150 What rhymes with December? 03:37.190 --> 03:39.911 Remember, remember the 5th of December. 03:40.831 --> 03:45.533 Soon there'll be presents and... cake. 03:45.813 --> 03:46.073 Tot. 03:48.597 --> 03:49.802 Like a tot of whiskey. 03:51.327 --> 03:53.816 Here's some Florence and the Machine, this is Drumming Song. 03:54.704 --> 03:57.846 There you go, that's Florence and the Machine with Drumming Song. 03:58.206 --> 04:00.748 She's been nominated for a Mercury Prize, is that right? 04:01.048 --> 04:01.768 And her machine. 04:02.069 --> 04:02.369 Yeah. 04:03.850 --> 04:07.232 She's a Camberwell girl, local to me, staff, London girl. 04:07.732 --> 04:08.032 Yeah. 04:08.533 --> 04:10.053 Do you ever see her walking around with a machine? 04:10.073 --> 04:11.354 A lot of the time, a lot of the time. 04:11.374 --> 04:12.775 Do you prefer her or the machine? 04:13.976 --> 04:18.719 I don't know, you know, I saw her on a phone, I heard her on a phone in the other day, it was on Radio One. 04:19.520 --> 04:24.205 And the DJ, I think it was Joe Wiley, had questions from other Radio One DJs to ask her. 04:25.306 --> 04:29.251 And she had a question from Chris Miles and the question was, what is the machine? 04:30.172 --> 04:34.737 And Florence just went, well is that it? 04:35.278 --> 04:36.119 Is that his question? 04:36.319 --> 04:37.360 It's not very original, is it? 04:37.380 --> 04:38.642 She speaks like a bloke. 04:39.082 --> 04:41.503 So that's a very roundabout way of dissing me. 04:41.783 --> 04:42.524 And Moils, yeah. 04:42.604 --> 04:44.824 And lumping you in the same bag as Moils, which is a good bag. 04:44.844 --> 04:46.025 It's a very popular bag. 04:46.045 --> 04:46.925 It's a successful bag. 04:46.965 --> 04:47.886 Millions of listeners. 04:48.206 --> 04:48.406 Yeah. 04:49.026 --> 04:51.007 But it's also stained. 04:51.027 --> 04:52.808 It's a little cramped in the bag. 04:52.888 --> 04:53.188 Yeah. 04:53.608 --> 04:54.088 But I don't mind. 04:54.108 --> 04:54.789 It's got some holes in it. 04:55.049 --> 04:55.789 I like it there. 04:56.049 --> 04:56.309 Yeah. 04:56.609 --> 04:56.909 All right. 04:57.090 --> 04:58.250 I think that's a funny question. 04:58.430 --> 05:00.191 No, I don't think she knows what the machine is. 05:00.411 --> 05:00.531 Yeah. 05:00.971 --> 05:01.231 Yeah. 05:01.531 --> 05:05.193 People have got some issues with some of my questions for Tom York that were on the blog. 05:05.433 --> 05:05.753 Yes. 05:06.253 --> 05:10.875 I noticed a couple of comments there saying, Adam Buxton, I mean, it was a sort of a backhanded compliment. 05:11.115 --> 05:16.737 Adam Buxton gets a lot out of a lot of lame material, said someone, like the comedy scientists on the blog. 05:16.877 --> 05:17.718 Well, look at the material. 05:17.758 --> 05:20.859 I've run the material through the computer. 05:21.099 --> 05:23.460 You can't start feeling vulnerable about blog comments. 05:23.520 --> 05:24.720 I'm not vulnerable about it. 05:24.740 --> 05:27.421 I just thought, is my material being judged now? 05:27.661 --> 05:29.262 I mean, that's a little bit vulnerable. 05:29.838 --> 05:33.299 Well... My material's brilliant! 05:33.339 --> 05:34.279 What are you talking about? 05:34.319 --> 05:35.340 You don't know who posted that. 05:35.380 --> 05:36.700 It could be a two-year-old. 05:37.480 --> 05:39.761 It's like taking advice from graffiti on walls. 05:40.021 --> 05:40.221 Yeah. 05:40.702 --> 05:41.882 Well, graffiti on walls is usually right there. 05:41.902 --> 05:42.702 I was just surprised. 05:42.762 --> 05:49.344 It just seemed like if they were going to start thinking about the material after they listened to our show... I think the point they made... It was a flattering point. 05:49.384 --> 05:55.086 It was saying that, you know, you do lame material, but then you make it really charming by being vulnerable. 05:55.186 --> 05:56.987 Just the idea that it's actual material. 05:57.427 --> 05:57.627 Yeah. 05:57.947 --> 06:14.538 is amusing to me but anyone thinks that you or I come up with and I'm lumping you in with this as well because let me tell you my material makes your material look like tissue I'm dressed in material that's how much material I've got my clothes are made out of it yeah but look at my sleep 06:15.379 --> 06:34.674 under material just looking at my material right now my green jacket it's totally frayed it's got a huge hole in it in every respect my material is coming apart so listen we're neglecting black squadron a little bit aren't we we are a bit to be perfectly honest black squadron your commanders are confused after their winter break summer break see they don't even know what season it is 06:35.935 --> 06:36.936 You had an idea, though. 06:37.016 --> 06:39.898 I like the... Why don't you just go for the simple one? 06:39.918 --> 06:40.738 Go for the simple command? 06:40.778 --> 06:41.259 Yes, sure. 06:41.479 --> 06:41.799 All right. 06:41.899 --> 06:43.480 Well, we need to play a record after the command. 06:43.500 --> 06:44.301 They're a simple squadron. 06:44.341 --> 06:44.541 All right. 06:44.561 --> 06:46.062 Let me tell you about the record we're going to play. 06:46.082 --> 06:47.703 It's a free play of mine. 06:47.763 --> 06:48.344 It's Spoon. 06:48.804 --> 06:51.225 It's one of the first Spoon tracks that I ever heard, and I love it. 06:51.285 --> 06:52.686 It's called That's the Way We Get By. 06:52.726 --> 06:55.728 But first, here is the command for Black Squadron. 06:55.909 --> 06:56.909 Do we need to boot them up? 06:56.969 --> 06:58.630 Stand them to attention with the intro jingle. 06:58.670 --> 06:59.071 Here it is. 06:59.091 --> 07:00.752 Black Squadron! 07:03.431 --> 07:21.886 Always catch the beginning of the show Flack squadron don't wanna miss a thing That's not the way black squadron roll Went to bed at a reasonable hour Gotta be sharp on Saturday morning That's the secret of the squad 07:26.178 --> 07:27.881 Yeah, Black Squadron, stand by for your command. 07:27.901 --> 07:30.104 If you're alone, this might not work. 07:30.164 --> 07:34.270 But if you're with somebody else, then the moment I say this word, you have to do it to the person you're with. 07:35.251 --> 07:35.512 Ready? 07:35.912 --> 07:36.233 Ready. 07:37.274 --> 07:37.475 Tickle! 07:38.957 --> 07:45.341 That's Orange Juice, and that we think is a session version because we've both got that album, haven't we, Adam? 07:45.501 --> 07:46.862 Poor old soul, yeah. 07:46.882 --> 07:52.526 The version that I'm familiar with is more laid back and it's got more of a groove on it, but that's a good one as well. 07:52.966 --> 07:53.787 Lovely bit of Orange Juice. 07:53.807 --> 07:55.708 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music. 07:55.728 --> 07:57.629 I wonder if Black Squadron are tickling each other. 07:57.649 --> 07:58.930 Do you think it's like a kids' show? 08:00.191 --> 08:01.612 It's basically like a toddler's program. 08:01.632 --> 08:04.554 Oh, it's Saturday morning, but tickling isn't necessarily a childish thing. 08:04.974 --> 08:05.794 It can be dangerous. 08:06.294 --> 08:06.635 That's right. 08:06.675 --> 08:11.177 I mean, if you were driving in a car there and someone started tickling you on the command of this show. 08:11.197 --> 08:12.138 That was absolutely lethal. 08:12.158 --> 08:13.098 It could have been fatal. 08:13.118 --> 08:13.979 So what are you saying? 08:14.179 --> 08:16.080 So I'm saying that's not for kids, is it, death? 08:16.420 --> 08:17.261 Oh, I see. 08:17.321 --> 08:18.101 They can't handle it. 08:18.121 --> 08:21.183 You're saying that if a commando was to do it, it's a very different 08:21.723 --> 08:25.726 Exactly, tickling is something that real squadies are trained to do. 08:26.286 --> 08:29.609 You can disarm a terrorist with a carefully placed tickle. 08:29.669 --> 08:30.649 Absolutely you can. 08:30.810 --> 08:34.652 Tickle them in the right place and they're forced to drop the gun in total with joy. 08:34.792 --> 08:39.916 I wouldn't be surprised on a serious note if they used tickling in places like Guantanamo. 08:40.655 --> 08:41.376 As a torture. 08:41.536 --> 08:42.938 Yeah, tickle... Well, that's different. 08:42.958 --> 08:43.418 That's dark. 08:43.438 --> 08:43.899 That's dark. 08:43.919 --> 08:44.379 That's dark. 08:44.459 --> 08:47.082 I'm saying this is a serious... A tickling one show, isn't it? 08:47.142 --> 08:48.183 Yeah, it is. 08:48.484 --> 08:48.804 You're right. 08:48.824 --> 08:52.428 When you're a child and someone tickles you and then doesn't stop. 08:52.628 --> 08:52.848 Yeah. 08:53.169 --> 08:54.370 You can nearly suffocate. 08:54.410 --> 08:54.871 It's awful. 08:54.951 --> 08:55.631 It's horrible. 08:55.872 --> 09:01.618 But I'd like to see in a Bond film, James Bond work his way through a room of baddies just with carefully placed tickling. 09:01.818 --> 09:02.919 A nice bit of tickling. 09:02.939 --> 09:03.419 Don't you think? 09:03.499 --> 09:05.460 You know, where's the best place to tickle someone? 09:05.500 --> 09:07.901 Because the obvious thing is to go for under the armpits there. 09:07.922 --> 09:08.262 The ribs. 09:08.362 --> 09:09.222 It's the ribs, I think. 09:09.302 --> 09:09.763 You reckon. 09:10.623 --> 09:13.465 You launch your hands suddenly towards the ribs. 09:13.525 --> 09:13.765 Yeah. 09:14.285 --> 09:16.186 And that's guaranteed to get any party started. 09:16.226 --> 09:19.068 Have you never tried doing the thigh tickle? 09:20.328 --> 09:21.589 The thigh pinch is effective. 09:21.609 --> 09:22.190 The inner thigh. 09:22.210 --> 09:25.952 Go in for the inner thigh and really root around in the inner thigh there. 09:25.972 --> 09:28.213 Well, you have to do that with someone you're intimate with. 09:28.917 --> 09:29.297 Yeah. 09:29.437 --> 09:29.757 Do you? 09:29.817 --> 09:30.818 Who are you doing that to? 09:30.838 --> 09:31.918 I don't know, anyone really. 09:31.938 --> 09:32.918 Did you do that to Tom York? 09:32.958 --> 09:33.858 Yeah, big reaction. 09:34.078 --> 09:35.159 You know, I haven't done it to Tom York. 09:35.599 --> 09:37.119 I did, but I should tickle celebrities. 09:37.179 --> 09:38.520 Well, that could be our new thing. 09:38.540 --> 09:40.880 I did tickle Johnny Greenwood from Radio. 09:41.340 --> 09:42.621 I tickled him on his buttocks. 09:43.021 --> 09:43.381 Did you? 09:43.481 --> 09:46.782 I reached around and I grabbed his... He's probably working on a song about that. 09:46.982 --> 09:51.403 I grabbed his buttocks and I did a little tickle and he looked appalled. 09:52.604 --> 09:54.064 I mean, I really regretted doing it. 09:54.184 --> 09:54.564 Did you? 09:54.644 --> 09:54.885 Yeah. 09:54.945 --> 09:55.625 Why did you do it? 09:55.665 --> 09:57.026 Because I was overexcited. 09:57.186 --> 09:57.546 Really? 09:57.686 --> 09:57.867 Yeah. 09:57.907 --> 09:59.468 Was he in a happy mood or was he? 09:59.628 --> 10:03.531 He was, he seemed to be in a happy mood, which is why I thought maybe it would be a good thing to do. 10:03.551 --> 10:07.753 I think the misconception is that tickling someone can make an unhappy person happy. 10:07.773 --> 10:08.394 That is true. 10:08.454 --> 10:09.835 It doesn't work that way. 10:09.895 --> 10:10.796 It makes them angry. 10:11.096 --> 10:15.579 But listen, under normal circumstances, tickling the buttocks is very, gets good results. 10:15.599 --> 10:18.601 If you come anywhere near my buttocks, I will be so happy. 10:18.621 --> 10:22.704 Well, you're a good example of a person I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it with. 10:23.364 --> 10:23.685 Really? 10:24.865 --> 10:25.686 It wouldn't occur to me. 10:25.706 --> 10:26.767 There's a lot to tickle here. 10:26.787 --> 10:28.408 There's a whole lot of tickling. 10:28.688 --> 10:30.369 That's what confuses people, they don't know where to start. 10:30.529 --> 10:30.809 Right. 10:31.350 --> 10:31.430 Yeah. 10:31.450 --> 10:32.350 Where would you like to be? 10:32.370 --> 10:33.151 There's miles of me. 10:33.411 --> 10:35.913 I mean no one likes, no one really likes being tickled, do they? 10:36.333 --> 10:39.095 And my daughter I've noticed, my young daughter absolutely loves it. 10:39.175 --> 10:40.916 My little babies love being tickled though. 10:40.936 --> 10:41.577 Not my daughter. 10:41.597 --> 10:43.618 She's fed up with it, yeah. 10:43.638 --> 10:45.299 She looks at me with a look of utter destruction. 10:45.319 --> 10:45.619 Get off! 10:45.880 --> 10:46.520 What are you doing? 10:47.060 --> 10:47.160 Ah! 10:47.321 --> 10:47.741 Get off! 10:48.410 --> 10:49.511 That's the only word she can say. 10:50.852 --> 10:52.474 In that very low voice as well. 10:52.594 --> 10:53.855 Oi, get off! 10:54.496 --> 10:54.836 Like that. 10:57.879 --> 11:00.502 Hey listen, I just said hey listen. 11:01.423 --> 11:03.625 As if I had something to say. 11:04.466 --> 11:05.867 We're gonna play some hockey right now. 11:06.027 --> 11:06.988 What's hockey James? 11:07.248 --> 11:08.469 I haven't read our sheets. 11:09.230 --> 11:09.490 Is it? 11:09.690 --> 11:10.911 Okay, he's going to tell us about it. 11:10.972 --> 11:12.132 This is Song Away. 11:12.533 --> 11:13.574 That's Hocky. 11:13.754 --> 11:16.556 They're from Portland, Oregon in the United States. 11:17.016 --> 11:19.278 Portland is the hot new town, right? 11:19.338 --> 11:26.104 It used to be Austin, Texas for a while, and Austin may still be hot, but Portland is now absolutely where it's at. 11:26.124 --> 11:27.245 Have you ever been there? 11:27.485 --> 11:28.065 No, never been. 11:28.506 --> 11:29.747 Ever been to Austin, Texas? 11:29.907 --> 11:30.687 No, we'd love to go. 11:30.787 --> 11:31.228 We'd love to. 11:31.248 --> 11:32.068 Oh, you've been there. 11:32.188 --> 11:32.449 Have you? 11:32.489 --> 11:32.809 What's it like? 11:32.829 --> 11:33.870 Yes, it was very nice. 11:34.210 --> 11:34.491 Yeah. 11:34.711 --> 11:35.972 Yeah, the Alamo Drafthouse. 11:36.013 --> 11:37.434 Cinema's there, that's all I cared about. 11:37.615 --> 11:38.295 Full of cowboys. 11:38.656 --> 11:39.477 Full of cowboys. 11:39.517 --> 11:40.438 Cinema for cowboys. 11:40.578 --> 11:42.060 Yeah, did you wear your cowboy boots then? 11:42.080 --> 11:42.321 Yes. 11:42.561 --> 11:43.522 Have a pistol fight? 11:43.703 --> 11:44.784 Do you think they're good then, hockey? 11:44.804 --> 11:45.445 Did you enjoy that? 11:45.625 --> 11:47.127 I asked you if you had a pistol fight! 11:47.147 --> 11:48.148 No, it's a cinema! 11:48.829 --> 11:50.291 I had some food and watched a film. 11:50.351 --> 11:52.214 You were a little grumpy about hockey, I thought. 11:52.674 --> 11:58.156 Well, I think it's mysterious how new bands appear on stations like this, you know? 11:59.016 --> 12:00.037 Who chooses these new bands? 12:00.077 --> 12:01.437 Who chooses which one to push? 12:01.717 --> 12:04.298 I don't know, the guy who listens to all the music comes in. 12:04.358 --> 12:06.519 They sounded a tiny bit undistinguished, I thought. 12:06.599 --> 12:06.939 Really? 12:07.099 --> 12:09.920 Yeah, I mean, that's a controversial thing to have an opinion, I know. 12:09.940 --> 12:10.860 Bit workman-like. 12:11.360 --> 12:12.041 Yeah, tiny bit. 12:12.081 --> 12:13.441 I mean, maybe I need to listen to them more. 12:13.601 --> 12:15.323 Well, they were very much in the thrall of... But why them? 12:15.343 --> 12:17.705 I mean, there must be millions of exciting new bands. 12:17.825 --> 12:18.345 Why hockey? 12:18.365 --> 12:19.486 I mean, they look cool. 12:20.387 --> 12:21.068 We got a picture of them. 12:21.088 --> 12:22.970 They're young and good-looking, stripey shirts. 12:23.190 --> 12:24.631 You've answered your own question then, haven't you? 12:24.891 --> 12:26.192 Young and good-looking with stripey shirts. 12:26.233 --> 12:27.574 Yeah, that's all you need. 12:28.515 --> 12:29.215 And they sound nice. 12:29.235 --> 12:30.156 I thought that was nice. 12:30.476 --> 12:31.077 It was nice. 12:31.097 --> 12:32.458 You're right to be positive about it. 12:32.478 --> 12:33.579 Yeah, I thought that was nice. 12:34.680 --> 12:35.761 Oh, come on. 12:35.781 --> 12:36.681 I thought it was nice. 12:37.042 --> 12:37.742 It was really nice. 12:37.942 --> 12:38.282 You know what? 12:38.342 --> 12:43.746 I was doing a bit of name dropping there before and about tickling Jonny Greenwood's Buttes. 12:43.766 --> 12:44.086 Yes. 12:44.326 --> 12:45.587 Because I was at Reading last weekend. 12:45.707 --> 12:46.007 Right. 12:46.267 --> 12:48.168 I saw Radiohead in full swing. 12:48.229 --> 12:56.414 I mean, that was I think that's going to go down in the annals of history as being one of the all time great shows at Reading or any other festival. 12:56.914 --> 13:00.216 But I met lots of groovy young bands, bumped into Vampire Weekend. 13:00.976 --> 13:01.837 Very nice, boys. 13:02.297 --> 13:04.439 So you're worried you might bump into hockey, and they might have heard this. 13:04.459 --> 13:05.960 Well, this is what I'm building up to, yeah. 13:06.000 --> 13:06.280 Yeah. 13:06.640 --> 13:10.663 Because when I do, I'm gonna be able to say, listen, that wasn't me, that was Tall Joe Cornballs. 13:10.923 --> 13:11.763 Yeah. 13:11.864 --> 13:13.305 So don't punch me in the face, hockey. 13:13.585 --> 13:13.785 Yeah. 13:13.925 --> 13:16.246 Because I also bumped into Gold and Silver's Drummer. 13:16.707 --> 13:17.527 We've played them on the show. 13:17.567 --> 13:18.448 Yeah, we like them, though. 13:18.568 --> 13:19.168 They're fantastic. 13:19.188 --> 13:20.409 We've been very positive about them. 13:21.290 --> 13:25.272 So, you know, if and when I bump into hockey, I don't want any aggravation. 13:25.473 --> 13:28.495 I don't want a hockey puck right in my, upside my head. 13:29.475 --> 13:30.676 is what I'm saying, OK? 13:30.816 --> 13:32.277 I'm looking forward to having a fight with hockey. 13:32.437 --> 13:32.697 Really? 13:32.717 --> 13:33.077 Yeah. 13:33.157 --> 13:36.099 I mean, there's only one guy that looks a bit tasty in hockey. 13:36.639 --> 13:37.820 Which one's that, second from the right? 13:38.220 --> 13:40.342 No, the guy on the end with the little moustachio. 13:42.123 --> 13:43.203 He looks overly tasty. 13:43.924 --> 13:44.864 He looks heavily flavoured. 13:44.884 --> 13:47.806 The rest of hockey aren't going to give you much trouble, I don't know. 13:47.826 --> 13:49.347 Second from the right looks like it's trouble. 13:49.527 --> 13:51.568 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 13:51.608 --> 13:51.768 It's 9.30. 13:52.068 --> 13:52.949 Time for the news. 13:56.858 --> 14:04.162 Stand down, your work is done You've earned yourself a nice warm bath And maybe a nice little bargain 14:07.383 --> 14:07.803 Very nice. 14:07.843 --> 14:09.904 That's Radiohead, of course, with no surprises. 14:10.085 --> 14:15.428 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music, and we won't go on about Radiohead anymore. 14:15.468 --> 14:18.589 Suffice to say that it was a wonderful show at Reading last weekend. 14:19.010 --> 14:22.472 Thanks also to everyone who came along to my show that I did there. 14:22.832 --> 14:32.077 Many Black Squadron members came along, and there was a very loud bit of Stevenage before I went on, which mystified the MC. 14:32.477 --> 14:34.559 He'd never heard of Steven or our show. 14:35.520 --> 14:38.438 and when various members of the crowd started shouting, Steven! 14:39.198 --> 14:42.400 He said, he was confused, he didn't know what the hell was going on. 14:42.420 --> 14:43.200 He said, what's Steven? 14:43.220 --> 14:44.261 What happens if I shout Steven? 14:44.301 --> 14:45.541 And they said, go on, shout Steven. 14:46.122 --> 14:49.663 So the MC finally shouted Steven and there was a very loud just coming. 14:50.124 --> 14:53.565 And if you don't know what that means, listeners, then let me explain. 14:53.605 --> 14:58.128 That's just something that you can shout if you want to identify other people that listen to this show. 14:59.088 --> 15:06.592 If you shout Steven in a crowded place and someone shouts just coming back at you, then you know that they are also listeners to this program. 15:06.832 --> 15:08.976 I got a couple of shouts in the street during the week. 15:09.436 --> 15:09.737 Oh yeah? 15:10.218 --> 15:11.840 On Oxford Street, did you respond? 15:12.501 --> 15:18.631 Well, I was walking down a very crowded Oxford Street, and from somewhere in the crowd came Stephen! 15:19.437 --> 15:21.659 And it was a bit like a sort of a 50s horror film. 15:22.239 --> 15:24.841 I didn't know where it had come from or who'd said it. 15:24.921 --> 15:27.743 When I looked round, all I could see were blank faces. 15:28.463 --> 15:29.384 So I was too confused. 15:29.424 --> 15:30.185 I missed the moment. 15:30.965 --> 15:32.486 You see, you shouldn't look around even. 15:32.506 --> 15:34.067 It should just immediately come out. 15:34.087 --> 15:34.488 Just come in! 15:34.828 --> 15:40.992 And another one I got in, I was walking through Soho and a young man walked past me and went, 15:42.273 --> 16:07.148 like that and I was again so surprised I think I went hey or hi possibly at best but I'm no good at it you are not I can't respond to it listen I was in an airport toilet really and there was a Steven from inside the cubicle really next to mine from inside the urinal no in a cubicle I couldn't even see where it had come from I just heard from within the cubicle I was washing my hands I hear Steven 16:09.649 --> 16:14.094 So I gave him a just coming, you know, but it was pretty weird for me and everyone else in the lavatory at the time. 16:14.114 --> 16:19.380 They just thought, wow, this is a special new type of cottaging that's going on in the airport. 16:20.081 --> 16:20.922 I'll be back later. 16:21.502 --> 16:22.804 Anyway, practice. 16:22.824 --> 16:26.848 We've got to figure out some way that I can get up to speed, you know, sharpen up my Stephen responses. 16:26.888 --> 16:27.469 You really do. 16:27.589 --> 16:28.530 Sort of a training camp. 16:28.750 --> 16:29.051 Stephen! 16:30.140 --> 16:31.821 Look, you see you can't even do it on air! 16:32.221 --> 16:33.542 Try again, try again, try again. 16:37.144 --> 16:38.745 You know, just coming. 16:39.686 --> 16:40.526 Coming is fine. 16:40.546 --> 16:43.488 If you're embarrassed about the just coming, you just keep coming. 16:44.128 --> 16:44.689 Something like that. 16:46.654 --> 16:47.114 Can't do it. 16:47.534 --> 16:49.855 Last bit of Radiohead related nonsense. 16:50.175 --> 16:58.459 Don't forget that there is a so-called interview with myself and Tom York available to see, exclusive to our BBC Six music blog. 16:58.840 --> 17:00.060 You can check that out right now. 17:00.460 --> 17:05.403 The blog can be found at bbc.co.uk slash blogs slash Adam and Joe. 17:05.843 --> 17:08.845 And don't forget you can just email us about general bits and bobs. 17:09.245 --> 17:11.626 The blog tends to be targeted comments, doesn't it? 17:12.126 --> 17:13.247 arranged under themes. 17:13.767 --> 17:22.550 You know, but if you've just got general wiffle waffle that you want to send our way, then the email address is adamandjoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 17:22.970 --> 17:24.251 You know, we love your emails. 17:24.491 --> 17:25.231 Made up jokes and stuff. 17:25.251 --> 17:28.352 We might have a few made up jokes that we've accumulated over the summer later in the show. 17:28.452 --> 17:35.255 And you can text us, of course, at any point on 64046 and text will be charged at your standard message rate. 17:35.655 --> 17:39.977 You know, Zane Lowe says all that stuff incredibly fast when he's on his show. 17:40.117 --> 17:41.498 He's a good DJ. 17:41.578 --> 17:45.699 But I wonder if he might get a knuckle rap because he says it so fast, you know what I mean? 17:46.000 --> 17:46.840 No, that's allowed, isn't it? 17:46.860 --> 17:50.782 Because they say that stuff very fast at the end of mortgage adverts on the radio, don't they? 17:50.842 --> 17:53.163 If you go too fast, though, it becomes incomprehensible. 17:53.183 --> 17:53.263 Yeah. 17:53.703 --> 17:55.685 I mean, he does it, like, as a thing. 17:55.745 --> 17:56.806 He does it amazingly well. 17:56.826 --> 17:58.567 He's an information machine, though, isn't he? 17:58.587 --> 17:58.867 Yeah. 17:59.127 --> 18:02.410 He's a walking encyclopedia of useless rock trifs. 18:02.750 --> 18:02.971 Yeah. 18:03.111 --> 18:04.011 And contemporary rock trifs. 18:04.031 --> 18:05.072 And useful rock trifs. 18:05.092 --> 18:05.372 Yeah. 18:05.553 --> 18:07.234 And very useful rock trifs. 18:07.774 --> 18:07.955 Mmm. 18:09.276 --> 18:10.917 He was wandering around at Reading as well. 18:10.977 --> 18:11.638 He's a nice guy. 18:11.678 --> 18:12.598 He's a very nice guy. 18:13.119 --> 18:15.721 Anyway, here's Friendly Fires with Kiss of Life. 18:16.448 --> 18:19.270 That was Friendly Fires there with Kiss of Life. 18:19.390 --> 18:26.454 Now they're one of four bands presenting shows for six music on Sunday afternoons in the run up to the Mercury Music Prize, right? 18:26.834 --> 18:34.239 That's the big event in the music calendar around this time of year amongst all the other big events in the music calendar, right? 18:34.339 --> 18:35.120 Wouldn't you say, Joe? 18:35.240 --> 18:37.241 Yeah, yeah, I would say that. 18:37.261 --> 18:41.764 The horrors are actually presenting the first of the shows tomorrow afternoon from 3.30. 18:41.824 --> 18:43.305 What's that going to be like? 18:43.945 --> 18:44.205 Yeah? 18:44.485 --> 18:45.286 I mean, can they speak? 18:46.006 --> 18:47.847 They're like vampire people, though. 18:47.867 --> 18:50.128 They stay up for four or five days on the trot. 18:50.928 --> 18:53.589 And I wouldn't think that they would be in any way articulate. 18:53.830 --> 18:54.930 They're quite posh, the horrors. 18:55.010 --> 18:55.270 Are they? 18:55.530 --> 18:56.151 Yeah, they are. 18:56.351 --> 18:57.131 Like posh vampires. 18:57.171 --> 18:58.872 Yeah, they're very, very posh vampires. 18:59.552 --> 19:01.193 So I think they're very well spoken. 19:01.793 --> 19:02.273 Probably. 19:02.934 --> 19:03.894 I like the horrors. 19:03.954 --> 19:06.255 I'm going to drink your blood. 19:06.455 --> 19:09.357 I like the one with the extended pudding bowl haircut. 19:10.157 --> 19:10.617 You know what I mean? 19:10.657 --> 19:14.320 It's brave to have a pudding bowl, but then to let the fringe actually descend beneath the nose. 19:16.041 --> 19:17.282 That's really going out on a limb. 19:17.322 --> 19:17.782 I like it. 19:17.962 --> 19:18.242 Yeah. 19:18.803 --> 19:23.446 Well, tune in tomorrow at 3.30 and you'll be able to hear how they get on here at Six Music. 19:23.826 --> 19:33.712 Now, I took one of the other people that was lurking around at Reading, right, was Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grind. 19:34.933 --> 19:38.355 Harry Pooter and his buddy Ron Johns. 19:38.535 --> 19:39.016 Ron Weasley. 19:39.156 --> 19:39.336 Yeah. 19:39.876 --> 19:42.238 They were wandering around there and they were sort of disguised. 19:42.438 --> 19:45.580 They had crazy hats and stuff on and goggles and things like that. 19:45.600 --> 19:47.061 Stop them from being mobbed by muggles. 19:47.761 --> 19:52.805 Yeah, but they, I mean, it didn't really because the muggles were absolutely swamping them and taking pictures. 19:52.825 --> 19:53.665 They were really nice though. 19:53.685 --> 19:57.768 They seemed, you know, they were very smiley enough for having their pictures taken and stuff like that. 19:57.788 --> 19:58.388 I like them both. 19:58.449 --> 20:00.490 I've especially got a soft spot for Grinty. 20:00.810 --> 20:01.310 Yeah, do you? 20:01.491 --> 20:03.472 Yeah, I think he's Malcolm McDowell for the noughties. 20:03.832 --> 20:04.192 Yeah. 20:04.633 --> 20:07.054 Do you think he's got a, do you think he's got the longevity there? 20:07.094 --> 20:07.635 Is he going to last? 20:07.655 --> 20:09.276 Well, it depends on his career choices. 20:09.316 --> 20:13.319 He could either be Malcolm McDowell or he could be the guy from Confessions of a Window Cleaner. 20:13.899 --> 20:15.140 He could go either way. 20:15.320 --> 20:15.560 Yeah. 20:15.660 --> 20:17.362 His choice is so far Thunderpants. 20:18.422 --> 20:19.343 That was very young though. 20:19.383 --> 20:21.585 He was very young and he did a driving school one. 20:21.665 --> 20:22.705 It's early days for both of them. 20:22.886 --> 20:23.266 Very early days. 20:23.286 --> 20:23.906 They're very young. 20:24.507 --> 20:25.207 Let's not judge them. 20:25.227 --> 20:29.270 There was a very snippy interview with him in, in some men's back. 20:29.470 --> 20:29.730 Yeah. 20:29.811 --> 20:31.192 In FHM or something like that. 20:31.232 --> 20:31.472 Really? 20:32.017 --> 20:35.420 where they were basically the whole thrust of the thing was like, you're washed up. 20:35.640 --> 20:37.141 You're never going to have a career. 20:37.521 --> 20:39.663 And they were really giving him a hard time about it. 20:40.743 --> 20:43.245 I thought he dealt with it very manfully in the article. 20:43.726 --> 20:44.566 I wish him all the best. 20:44.867 --> 20:48.149 Anyway, we went to see Harry Pooter and the half-blued plants. 20:48.349 --> 20:48.869 Oh, did you? 20:49.070 --> 20:50.110 Yeah, I haven't seen it yet. 20:50.130 --> 20:53.793 Me and my boys, they were absolutely desperate to see it, even though they're pretty young. 20:53.813 --> 20:56.975 I mean, five and seven, you know, and it's a 12. 20:58.136 --> 21:00.217 So it was up to me as the parent to make the call. 21:01.137 --> 21:03.958 And I was a little bit worried it would be too scary. 21:04.199 --> 21:05.339 Actually, it wasn't too scary. 21:05.459 --> 21:07.500 What it was was too boring. 21:07.880 --> 21:08.820 It's long, isn't it? 21:08.880 --> 21:10.101 How long is it? 21:10.481 --> 21:11.441 It's two and a quarter hours. 21:11.461 --> 21:12.622 It's two and a half years. 21:12.882 --> 21:14.282 It's two and a half hours. 21:14.743 --> 21:16.563 Two and a half hours. 21:16.863 --> 21:19.885 I mean, I would be bored in any film that lasted that long. 21:19.905 --> 21:20.325 You know what I mean? 21:20.985 --> 21:24.107 And the thing is that they've, it's David Yates, is it the director? 21:24.307 --> 21:24.568 Yes. 21:24.848 --> 21:27.750 He's got a lot of character work going on in there. 21:28.210 --> 21:35.175 And they are really, I mean, hooray, there's some great character development, but that's a little bit lost on the under 10s. 21:35.915 --> 21:40.999 And my own fault for taking them, you know, it is a 12A, certainly, perhaps the 12 year old. 21:41.039 --> 21:41.579 What was happening? 21:41.619 --> 21:42.460 What were your kids doing? 21:42.560 --> 21:44.861 How did they just, you know, show their boredom? 21:44.982 --> 21:48.144 It started off very early on with 21:48.724 --> 21:52.746 with one of them getting some popcorn lodged in his throat, which happens quite a lot. 21:52.766 --> 21:54.107 I forgot that it happened last time. 21:54.167 --> 21:56.068 I've just got to stop buying the popcorn. 21:56.628 --> 21:59.389 But about 10 minutes in, right, there was a tap on my shoulder. 21:59.610 --> 22:01.851 I got popcorn in my throat. 22:02.511 --> 22:06.353 So I was like, OK, have some here, drink a little bit of fizzy pop. 22:06.733 --> 22:08.994 No, because it was just, you know, do you ever get that? 22:09.034 --> 22:10.595 It's a little shard of popcorn. 22:10.875 --> 22:11.836 And you can feel it stuck there. 22:11.876 --> 22:12.696 I don't really like popcorn. 22:12.736 --> 22:13.236 Don't have it. 22:13.537 --> 22:13.737 Right. 22:13.777 --> 22:17.759 Well, that's a good reason not to, because very often you can get a little shard lodged there. 22:18.779 --> 22:19.459 And you can feel it. 22:19.699 --> 22:21.140 I much prefer to eat shards. 22:21.680 --> 22:22.000 Do you? 22:22.380 --> 22:23.540 Big bag of shards. 22:24.801 --> 22:26.801 Delicious chocolate covered shards. 22:26.861 --> 22:27.081 Yeah. 22:27.501 --> 22:27.742 Wow. 22:28.662 --> 22:37.844 No, he just goes for the popcorn and the shards come off and then... So right the way through the film, he was just making like loads of noise as well in the quiet bits. 22:37.984 --> 22:38.584 All you could hear was... 22:45.149 --> 22:45.830 He wasn't joking. 22:45.870 --> 22:47.691 He was just trying to dislodge the shard. 22:48.512 --> 22:49.132 So I felt bad. 22:49.152 --> 22:51.934 I kept on saying, shh, try and do it a little bit more quietly. 22:52.275 --> 22:55.437 And I had to buy him a hot dog to see if that would dislodge it and stuff. 22:55.457 --> 22:57.458 Was he disturbing other viewers? 22:57.939 --> 22:58.739 I would say so. 22:59.400 --> 23:00.661 You should have taken him outside. 23:01.121 --> 23:02.702 Well, what was I going to do though? 23:02.722 --> 23:03.422 There was two of them. 23:03.462 --> 23:06.524 I didn't want to just totally disrupt the whole thing. 23:06.544 --> 23:09.726 I couldn't leave the other guy on his own there, the other guy, my son. 23:11.527 --> 23:13.828 That little guy that follows me around. 23:14.068 --> 23:15.709 The weird short guy. 23:16.190 --> 23:19.932 Meanwhile, the other guy is bored out of his mind. 23:20.452 --> 23:22.312 because he can't figure out what's going on. 23:22.592 --> 23:26.253 The only time he's perking up is when they do the broomstick battles. 23:26.793 --> 23:27.973 What's the sport game called? 23:28.253 --> 23:28.513 Quidditch. 23:28.593 --> 23:29.314 Quidditch, right? 23:29.694 --> 23:36.175 So he perks up a little bit when the quidditch starts and when there's some extreme wand action going on. 23:36.515 --> 23:42.616 But apart from that, during all the plot unfolding moments of which there are many, he was absolutely bored out of his mind. 23:42.656 --> 23:49.217 And he turned round and he was facing the wrong way in his seat and he was bashing his head against the back of the seat. 23:49.297 --> 23:49.397 No. 23:49.618 --> 23:50.385 I used to do that. 23:51.986 --> 23:53.367 as a demonstration of boredom. 23:53.407 --> 23:54.267 He was teenagers. 23:54.307 --> 23:55.487 He was doing it in Switzerland. 23:55.567 --> 23:56.348 Wow, that's advanced. 23:56.468 --> 23:58.188 I was saying, man, do you want to leave? 23:58.208 --> 23:58.849 Because we can leave. 23:59.189 --> 24:00.369 If it's too boring, we can leave. 24:00.389 --> 24:02.050 And he's like, no, no, no, I like it. 24:02.170 --> 24:02.990 I really like it. 24:03.230 --> 24:04.110 I really like it. 24:04.451 --> 24:04.991 Let's stay. 24:05.391 --> 24:09.112 So at two and a half hours of this, we must have been driving the people behind us mental. 24:09.272 --> 24:10.313 Was it quite full in there? 24:10.733 --> 24:12.233 It was relatively full, yeah. 24:12.714 --> 24:17.075 And in Norwich as well, it's a very respectful audience you get. 24:17.315 --> 24:19.616 There's no mobile phone calls and talking and stuff. 24:19.676 --> 24:21.537 People are really nice and well behaved. 24:22.317 --> 24:29.160 And we were the worst behaved people there, spilling popcorn, coughing and spluttering, bashing heads against the back of the seats. 24:29.701 --> 24:30.521 It was pretty bad. 24:30.821 --> 24:35.243 But we were thinking maybe we might talk about cinema etiquette a little bit later on in the show. 24:35.604 --> 24:40.906 Yeah, we might do a text the nation listeners, do a cinema manifesto like we did for gigs. 24:41.766 --> 24:42.807 We only say might though. 24:43.496 --> 24:44.117 We might do it. 24:44.577 --> 24:45.298 Might not do it. 24:45.598 --> 24:46.118 We don't know. 24:46.198 --> 24:46.679 It's like that. 24:46.719 --> 24:48.320 We make decisions on the spur. 24:49.101 --> 24:49.801 Here's a free choice. 24:49.821 --> 24:50.822 This is yours, Joe, right? 24:50.842 --> 24:53.224 Yeah, this is another one from Now. 24:54.185 --> 24:55.246 Most Def's album. 24:55.626 --> 24:56.427 Ah, well done. 24:56.847 --> 24:58.649 I played a track from this last week. 24:58.669 --> 24:59.850 The album's called The Ecstatic. 25:00.711 --> 25:02.452 This is another of my favourite tracks. 25:02.732 --> 25:03.773 Listen to this one, listeners. 25:03.813 --> 25:08.357 Listen to where this one goes and where his rapping goes and what happens to the backing track. 25:08.417 --> 25:08.977 It's phenomenal. 25:09.298 --> 25:10.659 This is called Kaza Bae. 25:14.312 --> 25:15.814 That's Empire of the Sun, mate. 25:16.154 --> 25:16.695 Is it, mate? 25:16.735 --> 25:18.618 Yeah, that's Walking on a Dream, right? 25:18.638 --> 25:20.060 If you listen to that song, right? 25:20.200 --> 25:20.440 Yeah. 25:20.640 --> 25:24.185 There's only about, like, three chords and it just goes over and over again. 25:24.205 --> 25:25.587 There's no real chorus. 25:25.607 --> 25:28.271 Yeah, but that's a good thing, you know, a lot of bands overuse chords. 25:28.351 --> 25:29.292 Listen, mate, I'm not saying 25:29.352 --> 25:30.433 it's a bad thing. 25:30.513 --> 25:32.874 Why are you getting up in my grill about it, mate? 25:32.894 --> 25:34.155 What's the matter with you today, mate? 25:34.495 --> 25:39.838 I'm just saying that they only use a minimal number of chords in the song and it just goes over round and round and round. 25:39.878 --> 25:43.581 He's done a lot with a little, that's all I'm saying, and you're getting all up in my grill about it. 25:43.801 --> 25:45.722 Mate, you're really steamed up today. 25:45.882 --> 25:49.084 I'm really steamed up about the way you're behaving towards me. 25:49.624 --> 25:50.045 Yeah. 25:50.425 --> 25:53.367 You've got some issues I'd like to talk and discuss with you about. 25:53.527 --> 25:54.867 By the way, mate, where are you from? 25:56.608 --> 25:56.688 Oh. 25:57.009 --> 25:57.389 Where were you? 25:57.469 --> 25:58.609 What country are you from? 25:58.649 --> 25:59.910 Is your accent a little bit funny? 25:59.930 --> 26:00.310 America. 26:00.330 --> 26:02.691 It's like an Australian version of Inglourious. 26:02.771 --> 26:04.112 We can't say the name of that film, can we? 26:04.312 --> 26:04.712 Can't we? 26:05.353 --> 26:06.693 Not even if we say Sturds. 26:08.614 --> 26:08.814 No. 26:09.435 --> 26:13.597 It's like an Australian version of that Quentin Tarantino film. 26:13.617 --> 26:14.837 Where are they from in that film? 26:14.897 --> 26:17.558 Well, there's a brilliant scene where they all try and suss each other's fake accents. 26:17.879 --> 26:18.439 Oh, right. 26:18.479 --> 26:20.500 They're all pretending to be, uh, Charmaine. 26:20.680 --> 26:20.940 Yeah. 26:21.140 --> 26:22.001 Is that an enjoyable film? 26:22.301 --> 26:22.541 Yeah. 26:22.941 --> 26:24.362 Yeah, well done. 26:24.762 --> 26:29.524 So listen, ladies and gentlemen, I think that it's time we launched the nation's favourite feature, don't you? 26:29.784 --> 26:31.024 I definitely doodles. 26:31.264 --> 26:32.105 Here's the jingle. 26:34.386 --> 26:35.226 Text the nation. 26:35.266 --> 26:37.167 Text, text, text, text the nation. 26:37.227 --> 26:38.187 What if I don't want to? 26:38.207 --> 26:39.188 Text the nation. 26:39.268 --> 26:40.268 But I'm using email. 26:40.428 --> 26:41.168 Is that a problem? 26:41.188 --> 26:42.009 It doesn't matter, text. 26:44.625 --> 26:50.786 So one of my favourite little blogs that I like to visit is called Ultra Culture, run by a young man called Charlie Line. 26:50.826 --> 26:57.048 It's a very good opinionated movie blog and he's done on it this week, Manifesto for Cinema Going. 26:57.888 --> 27:01.489 And he makes some quite good points about what gets annoying about cinemas. 27:01.549 --> 27:02.849 One of his points is the following. 27:03.289 --> 27:07.990 Screens in cinema should always be 70% as wide as the auditorium. 27:08.991 --> 27:22.185 Yeah, he's quite specific with his commands on the blog Ultra Culture, but there he's complaining about, you know, you pay money for a cinema and then you get into a room that's smaller than your front room with a screen that's only just larger than your telly. 27:22.225 --> 27:22.966 Has that ever happened? 27:23.106 --> 27:24.708 Yes, you get filtered off down the sides. 27:24.748 --> 27:28.191 It's like you go to a cinema complex and you think, wow, they've got 20 screens here. 27:28.572 --> 27:29.553 And you realize that about 27:30.013 --> 27:31.315 10 of them are, yes. 27:31.596 --> 27:37.323 All of them sometimes, like they used to be a giant screen and then little ones, but the giant screens have become uneconomical. 27:37.824 --> 27:41.369 So they've sliced and diced them up and often they're all really kind of tiny. 27:41.609 --> 27:46.456 Plus you get a sound bleeding across from some of the other screens in those things as well. 27:46.696 --> 27:58.161 So anyway, we were going to, with your help listeners, put together a sort of a 10-point cinema manifesto, and we're going to take this manifesto and we're going to distribute it to all major cinema chains. 27:58.521 --> 28:04.063 And if they don't obey the laws, then everyone who listens to this show will boycott those chains. 28:04.303 --> 28:10.085 Yeah, it's going to be, it's less of a case of Odeon and more of a case of Odeom. 28:10.325 --> 28:10.626 Nice. 28:11.946 --> 28:13.607 EAT OUR MANIFESTO! 28:13.807 --> 28:14.228 Nice! 28:14.368 --> 28:15.348 Was his name Oscar Deutsch? 28:15.368 --> 28:19.491 Yeah, Oscar Deutsch entertains our nation, I think that's what Odian stood for. 28:19.511 --> 28:21.353 Take this, Oscar Deutsch! 28:21.393 --> 28:24.895 Maybe that's going too far, maybe that's against the big British castle rules. 28:25.235 --> 28:29.718 We can't encourage listeners to boycott any kind of company, but we can mobilise Black Squadron. 28:29.838 --> 28:30.399 That's right. 28:30.519 --> 28:32.220 I mean, Black Squadron are beneath the radar. 28:32.580 --> 28:33.341 They're above the law. 28:33.481 --> 28:34.902 What are Black Squadron going to do exactly? 28:35.522 --> 28:39.383 Something involving toast and eggs in their mouths. 28:39.423 --> 28:42.864 I don't know, they're gonna go loaded with all their various bits of black squadron equipment. 28:43.284 --> 28:45.645 They're gonna do some hideous subterfuge on cinemas. 28:46.005 --> 28:51.566 Anyway, so text us on 64046 with things that you'd like fixed about the cinema. 28:51.586 --> 28:53.146 Here's one of the things I'd like fixed. 28:53.406 --> 28:54.787 I think they should bring back boxes. 28:55.507 --> 28:58.668 In the old days, boxes in theatres were for very posh people, right? 28:58.708 --> 29:01.348 You'd have your own little sort of balcony, private area. 29:01.789 --> 29:03.169 I think they should be sound-proofed. 29:03.749 --> 29:05.850 and glass and they should put idiots in them. 29:06.690 --> 29:07.390 Do you know what I mean? 29:07.611 --> 29:09.451 But then the idiots would have to pay extra, wouldn't they? 29:09.871 --> 29:14.293 Yeah, but maybe the idiot boxes, which is what they'd be called, would be cheaper. 29:14.373 --> 29:15.614 That's an interesting angle though. 29:15.634 --> 29:18.135 You're putting the idiots in the exclusive area. 29:18.215 --> 29:26.698 Yeah, so that they're soundproof, so they can misbehave and text and chat and stuff and moon or puke on the inside of the glass as much as they want. 29:27.198 --> 29:28.859 They'd be behind the civilized people. 29:29.159 --> 29:31.582 Have you seen much mooning in the cinema recently? 29:31.602 --> 29:34.745 Well, I'm just thinking if you put someone in a glass box they tend to moon. 29:35.806 --> 29:37.568 Either that or press the boobs up against it. 29:37.868 --> 29:38.189 Yeah. 29:38.529 --> 29:40.010 It's a natural human response. 29:40.030 --> 29:41.972 That's a nice thing though, they should have a separate box for that. 29:42.093 --> 29:45.056 Well, you could turn the other way in your seat, like your son. 29:45.536 --> 29:46.217 Yes, exactly. 29:46.457 --> 29:50.598 Hey, speaking of which, Joe is just checking the ratings regulations. 29:50.878 --> 29:55.439 Yeah, someone sent us in a little text pertaining to Adam's story about his kids in the cinema. 29:55.779 --> 29:57.160 It's from Chris in Sterling. 29:57.560 --> 30:00.701 Dear Adam and Joe, sorry to say that the minimum age for a 12A film is 8. 30:01.581 --> 30:03.842 Parental discretion only applies to kids aged 8 to 12. 30:04.002 --> 30:04.442 I didn't know. 30:05.461 --> 30:08.244 The authorities have been informed, we'll be in touch in due course. 30:08.384 --> 30:09.065 Flipping heck. 30:09.085 --> 30:11.547 So, Count Buckley's is gonna be clanked up. 30:11.828 --> 30:16.813 I'm a law-breaker, taking my kids to sea, films they shouldn't see, like Harry Potter and the blue prams. 30:16.833 --> 30:17.894 It's a child abuse, man. 30:17.934 --> 30:18.214 Isn't it? 30:18.234 --> 30:18.875 Is it? 30:18.955 --> 30:20.076 Yeah, NSPCC. 30:20.136 --> 30:25.121 Wow, you really took it to an extreme... Well, you've abused your children's imagination by showing them dragons. 30:25.702 --> 30:27.504 Scary dragons at too young an age. 30:27.924 --> 30:28.204 Yeah. 30:28.704 --> 30:29.004 Yeah. 30:29.184 --> 30:32.165 They didn't have any nightmares though, they just slept very soundly. 30:32.405 --> 30:36.407 My most treasured cinematic memories are films that hideously traumatised me at a young age. 30:37.647 --> 30:39.408 It wasn't hideously traumatic in any way. 30:39.848 --> 30:43.089 You know, they were more hideously traumatised by Coraline than they were by the... 30:43.869 --> 30:44.509 Half-Blood Prance. 30:44.530 --> 30:47.792 I tell you what else I'd get rid of in cinema, going, uh, pick and mix. 30:48.292 --> 30:48.412 What? 30:48.432 --> 30:49.072 What's the problem with that? 30:49.092 --> 30:50.353 Well, those pick and mix bags. 30:50.693 --> 30:50.854 Right. 30:51.054 --> 30:51.794 They're so noisy. 30:51.814 --> 30:52.515 They're so big. 30:52.795 --> 30:53.755 They're like sleeves. 30:54.236 --> 30:57.077 You have to plunge most of your arm into them to get to the sweets. 30:57.198 --> 30:59.399 What are you... I think... And they're very crinkly. 30:59.479 --> 30:59.679 Right. 31:00.059 --> 31:00.600 Cloth bags. 31:01.140 --> 31:02.001 Cloth bags. 31:02.081 --> 31:03.261 Silky or cloth bags. 31:03.301 --> 31:04.082 Hessian sacks. 31:04.122 --> 31:04.402 Yeah. 31:04.442 --> 31:06.423 That don't make any noise when you go for a sweet. 31:06.784 --> 31:07.644 No wrap sweets. 31:07.944 --> 31:08.084 Mm-hmm. 31:08.465 --> 31:09.465 No, no cellophane. 31:09.886 --> 31:11.507 All sweets served in cloth bags. 31:12.327 --> 31:14.188 It's the kind of thing I'm looking for. 31:14.248 --> 31:16.610 So presumably you've got a big popcorn problem then, haven't you? 31:17.410 --> 31:18.731 With people crunching popcorn. 31:19.531 --> 31:21.512 A little bit, I suppose, but it's traditional popcorn. 31:21.652 --> 31:23.073 What about slurping of drinks? 31:25.214 --> 31:26.215 Doesn't bother me, really. 31:26.735 --> 31:29.737 When you get down to the bottom of the cup, you mean, you bring up the dregs. 31:29.797 --> 31:31.358 And people slooshing around their ice. 31:31.378 --> 31:32.299 I like slooshing. 31:32.379 --> 31:33.419 I mean, it's not a big problem. 31:34.100 --> 31:35.080 What are you eating when you go? 31:35.140 --> 31:36.141 Do you take a snack in there? 31:36.221 --> 31:36.881 I like minstrels. 31:37.061 --> 31:37.221 Yeah. 31:38.963 --> 31:40.406 Uh, and some water. 31:41.849 --> 31:42.971 Nice bit of water. 31:43.452 --> 31:44.093 That's nice. 31:44.753 --> 31:46.695 I like, what are the other ones? 31:46.715 --> 31:48.396 But hang on, this is just what you like. 31:48.536 --> 31:50.678 It's got to be, you've got to give me attitude, opinion. 31:51.058 --> 31:51.398 Oh, right. 31:51.899 --> 31:52.820 I'll tell you what I don't like. 31:52.840 --> 31:52.900 Yes. 31:53.520 --> 31:56.382 Oh, God, I don't know. 31:57.784 --> 31:58.945 Phones, mobile phones. 31:59.385 --> 32:00.406 Yes, good. 32:00.626 --> 32:02.347 Now, I'll tell you what I would get rid of, right? 32:02.708 --> 32:03.528 The orange ads. 32:03.688 --> 32:07.151 I mean, that's a very old... Well, they've got a new one up there now, the Juliette Lewis one. 32:07.171 --> 32:07.912 Have you seen that one? 32:07.932 --> 32:07.972 No. 32:08.132 --> 32:09.393 Ah, it's very dense. 32:09.413 --> 32:10.013 It's a treatment store. 32:10.033 --> 32:11.335 They've tried to pack a lot of jokes in. 32:11.875 --> 32:12.636 Flipping heck. 32:12.856 --> 32:14.237 It makes me want to kill people. 32:14.882 --> 32:16.464 None of those Orange Ads is exciting. 32:16.484 --> 32:20.689 It was a point very well made in Peepshow, I think, by David Mitchell's character. 32:21.049 --> 32:25.154 You can tell the people who haven't been to the cinema for two years because they're the ones laughing at the Orange Ads. 32:25.294 --> 32:25.654 Yes. 32:26.015 --> 32:27.937 I watched that film State of Play the other day. 32:28.017 --> 32:28.558 Oh yeah, how was that? 32:28.778 --> 32:30.460 It's got the man from the Orange Ads in it. 32:30.620 --> 32:31.000 Has it? 32:31.080 --> 32:31.341 Yeah. 32:32.395 --> 32:35.656 really popped me out of the story when he walked in. 32:37.196 --> 32:39.356 That guy's a bit in trouble, really. 32:39.496 --> 32:48.278 Anyway, we'd like to hear your ideas, listeners, for what you would have on your cinema manifesto, what things you would ban, and we can also have like what things you would enforce as well. 32:48.598 --> 32:50.178 Yeah, any kind of rules. 32:50.278 --> 32:53.219 I mean, remember our gig manifesto we did and how effective that's been. 32:53.319 --> 32:55.579 It's totally changed the gig experience. 32:55.899 --> 32:56.699 Yeah, for people. 32:58.199 --> 33:00.580 Here's a bit of Joe Strummer for you right now. 33:00.600 --> 33:01.340 This is Coma Girl. 33:02.622 --> 33:04.764 That's Sir Joe Strummer with Comer Girl. 33:04.784 --> 33:08.667 This is Adam and Joe on BBC Six Music on a Saturday morning. 33:09.047 --> 33:11.088 Welcome along listeners if you've just joined us. 33:11.529 --> 33:13.050 We're very happy to have you listening. 33:13.710 --> 33:16.152 You know, what would it be like if no one was listening at all? 33:16.493 --> 33:17.974 I mean then we'd seem pretty stupid. 33:17.994 --> 33:19.495 Nah, it would be the same, wouldn't it? 33:19.935 --> 33:20.436 You're right. 33:20.536 --> 33:21.156 Exactly the same. 33:22.037 --> 33:22.797 We'd just be sat here. 33:22.877 --> 33:23.478 I'd swear more. 33:23.658 --> 33:24.098 Would you? 33:24.158 --> 33:24.439 Yeah. 33:24.479 --> 33:25.319 Do you miss swearing? 33:25.339 --> 33:26.039 I do a bit. 33:26.200 --> 33:27.280 You like to swear, don't you? 33:27.500 --> 33:29.402 I find it useful in expressing myself. 33:29.762 --> 33:32.563 I swear less now that I've been doing this show, I think. 33:32.643 --> 33:32.944 Do you? 33:33.024 --> 33:34.725 Yeah, because I'm more... It's a good discipline, isn't it? 33:34.805 --> 33:35.105 Yeah. 33:35.685 --> 33:36.266 Good discipline. 33:36.306 --> 33:43.610 We shouldn't even talk about it, though, because the dirty words will pop into our heads and then they'll accidentally come out and then there'll be a scandal and then we'll get fired. 33:43.630 --> 33:44.651 Then we'll get Saturdays off. 33:45.831 --> 33:47.352 That's what you're aiming for, isn't it? 33:47.492 --> 33:48.673 Extra half a day off, mate. 33:48.773 --> 33:50.214 It's a beautiful day out there, mate. 33:50.274 --> 33:50.734 It's lovely. 33:50.754 --> 33:51.655 You going surfing later? 33:51.815 --> 33:52.975 Of course I'm going surfing. 33:53.015 --> 33:54.896 Have you waxed your tinny board? 33:55.196 --> 33:57.738 Yeah, my tinny board's all completely hairless. 33:57.898 --> 33:59.179 Yeah, beautiful. 33:59.539 --> 33:59.899 Lovely. 34:00.119 --> 34:01.820 What kind of a wave are you hoping for? 34:02.541 --> 34:04.503 One of the wavy curly ones. 34:04.663 --> 34:06.666 Oh, they're my favourite. 34:06.986 --> 34:12.012 What I like to do is I like to surf right out and wait for a big one to come along. 34:12.472 --> 34:17.418 And then what I do is I stand up on my surfboard and I surf down the middle of the wave. 34:17.879 --> 34:19.821 I call it a tube, it resembles a tube. 34:19.901 --> 34:21.183 I call it that too. 34:21.223 --> 34:22.104 I surf down the middle. 34:22.584 --> 34:33.907 And then what tends to happen is photographers take photos of me and cameramen take camera pictures of me and they put me in documentaries about sexy surfers. 34:33.947 --> 34:37.628 Now what I've got is a little cameraman on the tip of my board. 34:38.088 --> 34:38.749 Have you mate? 34:38.789 --> 34:40.529 Do you put the footage on YouTube? 34:40.569 --> 34:41.009 Yeah I do. 34:41.389 --> 34:41.730 Brilliant. 34:41.790 --> 34:43.330 And it's super fast. 34:43.390 --> 34:46.171 It takes like about a thousand frames a minute. 34:46.471 --> 34:48.451 One time I was surfing and I fell off my board. 34:48.671 --> 34:49.092 Wow. 34:49.432 --> 34:49.752 Wow. 34:50.132 --> 34:50.492 Wild. 34:53.505 --> 34:54.526 What happened? 34:54.626 --> 34:55.067 Nothing else? 34:55.087 --> 34:56.187 Did you get back on? 34:56.288 --> 34:58.149 I did, I got... Oh mate! 34:58.269 --> 35:00.391 No, actually I paddled back into the shore. 35:00.411 --> 35:00.771 You paddled? 35:00.791 --> 35:01.632 Were you on a bike? 35:01.692 --> 35:03.694 Had a bit of a sit down. 35:03.734 --> 35:04.915 It's gone, Sam, definitely could. 35:05.956 --> 35:07.497 Had a sit down on the beach, mate. 35:07.857 --> 35:09.899 Did you, and you pedaled in, you were on a bike. 35:10.640 --> 35:11.881 Did you use a bike? 35:13.342 --> 35:14.703 No, I was on a surfboard, mate. 35:14.803 --> 35:15.844 You said you pedaled. 35:16.024 --> 35:16.645 Where are you from? 35:16.665 --> 35:17.566 I don't know. 35:18.601 --> 35:19.542 Listen, let's focus. 35:19.562 --> 35:22.684 You were going to tell us something about... I feel the moments passed. 35:22.724 --> 35:23.304 Do you? 35:23.364 --> 35:24.085 I might save it. 35:24.225 --> 35:24.965 Do another record. 35:24.985 --> 35:26.066 You're going to do a free play right now. 35:26.366 --> 35:34.492 My friend Danny made me a compilation this summer and I haven't had a compilation made for me for a very long time. 35:34.992 --> 35:36.733 And Danny really puts the work in. 35:36.793 --> 35:40.796 He's one of these people that does the cover art and he lays it out. 35:40.816 --> 35:42.137 What was the cover art on this one? 35:42.997 --> 35:44.878 It was to do quite serious cover art. 35:44.958 --> 35:45.818 Yeah, he said of a joke. 35:45.938 --> 36:08.028 He no no He's it's pretty serious like he'd sourced pictures of all the featured artists right and made a little compilation right like and now that's what I call music kind of thing Yeah population and it was beautifully laid out lovely track listing and everything and he'd really put some label on the CD Sure, really printed label into play because that can let a compilation down you do a beautiful sleeve then you open it and it's just duh and 36:08.468 --> 36:10.449 Sharpie on the CD. 36:10.609 --> 36:12.910 Direct printing onto the CD surface itself. 36:13.110 --> 36:14.311 I mean, it was just exemplary. 36:14.331 --> 36:15.592 He's from a family of printers. 36:16.012 --> 36:16.792 He is, yeah. 36:16.852 --> 36:17.372 That's true. 36:17.512 --> 36:20.074 So, you know, he's got a little head start, but it was wonderful. 36:20.454 --> 36:21.834 And it was one of those tracks. 36:22.175 --> 36:25.956 We played the compilation one evening when we were on holiday and we played it from start to finish. 36:25.976 --> 36:28.858 And it was just a very coherent, enjoyable musical journey. 36:29.458 --> 36:33.540 A few things that I already knew, but they were nice because I was sort of rediscovering them. 36:33.600 --> 36:34.800 Hadn't heard them for a long time. 36:34.860 --> 36:35.760 It was nice to hear them again. 36:35.940 --> 36:38.661 And then a couple of nuggets that I'd never heard before, which were wonderful. 36:38.981 --> 36:39.582 Sat very well. 36:39.602 --> 36:41.322 It was sounding a bit like Zane though there. 36:41.622 --> 36:41.842 Yeah. 36:42.003 --> 36:47.264 When you said comprehensive musical journey, a little bit of your Australian accent was still in there. 36:47.585 --> 36:48.025 Oh yeah. 36:48.225 --> 36:48.665 Spatchcock. 36:49.205 --> 36:56.729 Anyway, this was a track that I hadn't heard before by Kevin Ayres that popped up on Danny's compilation, and it's quite odd, but it's enjoyable. 36:56.749 --> 36:57.950 I hope you like it, listeners. 36:57.970 --> 36:59.050 This is Town Feeling. 37:14.918 --> 37:30.759 just sounded comically dufferish yeah thanks so listen do you Adam Buxton do you watch a lot of BBC three you know what I don't anymore what I feel as if it's no longer my target because they rejected your pilot no that's not the reason 37:32.020 --> 37:41.995 Well, they have some problems with their comedy outputs, BBC 3 maybe, some people might say, you know, problems the wrong word, controversy, Horne and Cordon, stuff like that, you know. 37:42.015 --> 37:42.656 It does very well there. 37:42.856 --> 37:47.022 It does very well, but some people are angry about it, but I tell you what they do very well is 37:47.122 --> 37:48.423 youth documentaries. 37:48.864 --> 38:04.797 They do really good youth documentaries that go on for hours, like there was one something called Man or Chicken or something testing the prowess of young men that went on, that seemed to go on in sort of two-hour segments, but because there's no commercial breaks 38:05.778 --> 38:08.860 they can do really satisfying sort of teen documentaries. 38:09.260 --> 38:10.561 And they seem to have a thing going. 38:10.581 --> 38:13.302 I think they might be working in consort with the government. 38:13.642 --> 38:21.287 They seem to be making a documentary about every single teenager in Britain, one by one, going through the entire populace and kind of trying to fix them. 38:22.007 --> 38:24.148 They're starting with the most idiotic ones. 38:24.548 --> 38:29.211 I think Channel 4 might have started this actually, and BBC 3 have now taken over the kind of task. 38:29.491 --> 38:32.152 Well, the classic in the genre was the Chris Needham one years ago. 38:32.252 --> 38:32.552 Yes. 38:33.373 --> 38:33.853 What was that one? 38:33.893 --> 38:34.573 In Bed With Madonna? 38:35.193 --> 38:35.373 No? 38:35.613 --> 38:36.554 No, that's Bob Mills. 38:37.454 --> 38:38.215 What was it about? 38:38.495 --> 38:39.675 You know the one I'm talking about, though? 38:39.855 --> 38:41.896 In Bed With... The guy... The Madonna fan. 38:42.276 --> 38:43.397 Or was that years and years ago? 38:43.477 --> 38:44.257 I think I keep talking. 38:44.417 --> 38:46.238 Anyway, the Chris Needham one was the Heavy Metal guy. 38:46.598 --> 38:46.858 Right. 38:47.158 --> 38:47.798 Do you remember that one? 38:48.119 --> 38:51.640 Yeah, it was called something... The title was a riff on In Bed With Madonna. 38:51.860 --> 39:06.056 they did that was a follow-up one in bed with Chris Needham right but the original one anyway I love that kind of thing I love a documentary about a really endearingly thick teenager who kind of has to come face to face with their problems there was another one on BBC three called 39:07.658 --> 39:22.209 Oh God, I can't remember any of the names, but people who were like addicted to junk food and they were taken to see the junk food manufactured, who were like addicted to label clothing and they were taken to Indonesia to see the sweatshops where the clothing was made, stuff like that. 39:22.289 --> 39:25.572 Anyway, there was one on the other day called Young Dumb and Living Off Mum. 39:26.613 --> 39:34.899 And they took a group of teenagers who were particularly dumb and dependent on their parents, stuck them in a big house and gave them tasks. 39:35.780 --> 39:39.903 And the winner was going to be the one that was the most adult who'd grown up the most by the end. 39:40.224 --> 39:41.465 And how long were they in there for? 39:41.665 --> 39:42.545 Weeks and weeks and weeks. 39:42.646 --> 39:43.526 Weeks and weeks and weeks. 39:43.566 --> 39:43.887 Yeah. 39:44.027 --> 39:47.329 But every episode was about an hour and a half and it was very satisfying. 39:47.369 --> 39:48.170 No commercial breaks. 39:48.210 --> 39:49.751 You could get really absorbed in their trials. 39:49.771 --> 39:50.832 So it's like a condensed big brother. 39:51.032 --> 39:52.053 Yeah, it was extraordinary. 39:52.073 --> 39:59.119 And they came across an amazing girl, aged about 18, called Danielle, who looked like sort of the ghost of a young Vanessa Feltz. 39:59.919 --> 40:02.681 She'd done her face up to look really weirdly pale. 40:02.982 --> 40:03.122 Yeah. 40:03.682 --> 40:11.448 And she had huge blonde hair and she was very, very ditzy, but in a really entertaining and kind of charming way. 40:11.748 --> 40:23.437 One of the tasks she was given was to go into a primary school, teach the kids a history lesson and then perform a play based on that history lesson at the end of the day to the students and pupils. 40:23.877 --> 40:29.781 So the subject Danielle chose to do the play on was the tragic death of Princess Diana. 40:30.261 --> 40:31.041 Nice subject. 40:31.181 --> 40:37.365 Now, she was 18, so she must have been about five or six when that actually happened, the terrible tragedy. 40:37.685 --> 40:41.668 So she can be excused for not knowing too many of the details of what happened, right? 40:41.808 --> 40:42.148 Yeah. 40:42.308 --> 40:45.310 But she did some online research to back up her facts. 40:45.710 --> 40:52.454 But despite her online research, she still got some of the hard, cold truths of Diana's accident a bit wrong. 40:52.834 --> 40:56.081 Here's a clip of a little bit of one of her lessons. 40:56.121 --> 40:56.622 Listen to this. 40:56.982 --> 40:57.283 Right. 40:57.724 --> 41:00.289 How did Princess Diana tragically die? 41:01.627 --> 41:02.007 Yeah. 41:02.488 --> 41:04.710 She crashed into the Eiffel Tower. 41:05.170 --> 41:06.872 Her car crashed into the Eiffel Tower. 41:06.912 --> 41:08.113 Yeah, that is correct. 41:08.173 --> 41:08.854 Well done. 41:10.595 --> 41:13.798 It would have been better, don't you think, if she'd crashed right into the Eiffel Tower? 41:13.998 --> 41:16.100 And the top had just toppled down. 41:16.180 --> 41:19.023 I mean, not better in any other way, but obviously, yeah. 41:19.303 --> 41:21.925 It would be more... less... oh, dear. 41:22.306 --> 41:26.650 So she gets a bit embarrassed about that, a teacher intercedes and tries to correct the facts. 41:26.750 --> 41:26.990 Yeah. 41:27.410 --> 41:37.158 And listen to Danielle kind of trying to come to terms emotionally with the impact that the crash must have had on Diana's family. 41:37.218 --> 41:37.918 Listen to this bit. 41:38.298 --> 41:44.823 That must have hit her son bad, mustn't it? 41:45.784 --> 41:46.064 Whoa. 41:46.865 --> 41:52.689 I mean, that is, if you're taking the temperature of the nation's youth, that's a pretty savage indictment. 41:53.510 --> 41:54.651 Can we just hear that one more time? 41:55.765 --> 42:02.288 That must have hit her son bad, mustn't it? 42:03.209 --> 42:03.649 Bad one. 42:04.870 --> 42:08.812 Must have hit her son bad. 42:09.352 --> 42:12.214 Yeah, had a terrible impact on her children, is what she's saying. 42:12.314 --> 42:13.114 Must have hit her son bad. 42:13.134 --> 42:16.856 But that's okay, you know, she's emotionally engaging with it then. 42:17.757 --> 42:20.198 Maybe she was rendered inarticulate by the emotion. 42:20.678 --> 42:21.018 Exactly. 42:21.079 --> 42:24.942 So she corrals the kids together, they start rehearsing their play about the death of Diana. 42:25.262 --> 42:27.565 And there's still a couple of factual inaccuracies. 42:28.005 --> 42:30.507 This is the kids going through the cast list. 42:30.808 --> 42:33.450 This is them describing who's in the car when the crash happens. 42:33.470 --> 42:35.913 Welcome to the Princess Diana show. 42:36.273 --> 42:40.297 Princess Diana died in a tragic car accident by a murderer. 42:40.817 --> 42:43.740 This is the car driver for Princess Diana. 42:44.120 --> 42:44.541 This is? 42:45.228 --> 42:46.328 Diana's husband. 42:46.728 --> 42:48.909 This is the murderer. 42:51.490 --> 42:57.111 So Prince Charles is in the car and also the murderer is in the car. 42:57.311 --> 43:04.793 I mean, this is a good idea for a series in itself, though, isn't it? 43:04.953 --> 43:09.675 Just getting children to do half remembered versions of the history. 43:09.875 --> 43:13.596 Well, I always thought the news would be better staged by kids, just generally. 43:14.236 --> 43:17.479 But that's, you know, little kids, they've got a really positive attitude to murder. 43:17.739 --> 43:18.960 Yeah, the murder. 43:19.080 --> 43:20.200 Well, it's exciting. 43:20.241 --> 43:20.941 They love all that stuff. 43:20.961 --> 43:23.763 They love war and the army and all that kind of miserable stuff. 43:23.783 --> 43:34.091 So you would have thought someone might have interceded there and explained to Danielle that, you know, the whole murder thing is a pretty unsubstantiated conspiracy theory that's probably not true. 43:34.451 --> 43:40.956 And even if it was true, it's doubtful the murderer would actually be sitting in the car and also that Charles wasn't in the car, etc. 43:41.636 --> 43:43.176 And they didn't crash into the Eiffel Tower. 43:43.196 --> 43:43.857 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 43:44.177 --> 43:46.757 But so here's the final performance of the Diana show. 43:47.518 --> 43:48.438 This is the finished play. 43:48.458 --> 43:53.159 I think BBC Three might have cut around this a little for taste and decency purposes. 43:53.219 --> 43:57.600 But when all the kids giggle, what's happening on screen is they're performing the crash. 43:57.620 --> 43:59.321 OK, that's just a little note. 43:59.661 --> 44:02.862 But here's the finished production of Danielle's Diana show. 44:03.002 --> 44:03.122 Wow. 44:03.382 --> 44:05.824 Welcome to the Princess Diana shine. 44:05.864 --> 44:07.506 Princess Diana gets into the car. 44:07.566 --> 44:10.008 Mommy, I'm going to be lying. 44:10.108 --> 44:12.170 Princess Diana is dead. 44:12.411 --> 44:13.191 The end. 44:23.666 --> 44:25.167 I mean, that's how I remember it. 44:25.428 --> 44:31.493 It's sort of amazing, though, isn't it, that just over 10 years later, that kind of thing is being screamed. 44:31.593 --> 44:39.460 Well, it's a terrifying sort of warning of how factual inaccuracy can very quickly become dangerous historical revisionism. 44:39.480 --> 44:39.900 That's true. 44:40.000 --> 44:41.041 That's exactly what it is. 44:41.061 --> 44:46.766 This is why facts are important, because very quickly the fact inaccuracies pass down the generations. 44:46.966 --> 44:47.206 Yeah. 44:47.667 --> 44:47.967 Yeah. 44:48.909 --> 44:50.490 But that's quite moving, isn't it? 44:50.511 --> 44:52.914 That is a sobering little piece of documentary there. 44:52.974 --> 44:54.876 Thank you very much for bringing it to our attention. 44:55.036 --> 44:55.357 Pleasure. 44:55.617 --> 44:57.940 Adam and Jo here on BBC 6 Music. 44:58.280 --> 45:02.065 It's just exactly 10.30 and it's time for the news. 45:02.881 --> 45:04.402 That's MGMT with kids. 45:04.422 --> 45:06.342 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 45:06.362 --> 45:07.443 Have you seen the video for that? 45:07.483 --> 45:08.803 They just finished a video. 45:08.823 --> 45:09.684 It's taken them about nine months. 45:09.704 --> 45:10.164 The scary ones. 45:10.324 --> 45:10.824 Yeah, yeah. 45:10.844 --> 45:13.325 Yeah, I saw that a little while ago, actually. 45:13.425 --> 45:15.806 The baby being traumatised by the monster. 45:15.846 --> 45:17.167 It's a pretty unsettling video. 45:17.227 --> 45:17.907 Yeah, it's very odd. 45:18.127 --> 45:31.793 And most of the comments underneath it on YouTube were, how could the mother of that child expose her kid to such hideous... Because basically it's these freaky, cartoony monsters, but they're done with weird, rubbery, freaky masks. 45:32.373 --> 45:34.895 And they're sort of tormenting a little baby in a cradle. 45:35.275 --> 45:37.416 And the baby appears to be bursting into tears. 45:37.857 --> 45:40.218 And then the mum picks up the baby and walks down the street. 45:40.258 --> 45:41.719 A mum played by Joanna Newsom. 45:41.980 --> 45:46.863 And all the people they pass in the street are all hideous, mutated, freaky monsters. 45:46.903 --> 45:48.264 And the kid's still bawling. 45:48.324 --> 45:49.004 It's kind of odd. 45:49.044 --> 45:50.765 We showed it at Bug the other day. 45:50.805 --> 45:52.186 What kind of a response did it get? 45:52.306 --> 45:54.228 Well, the audience was laughing. 45:54.988 --> 45:58.531 And they sort of found it funny, but it was an uncomfortable laughter. 45:58.571 --> 46:02.113 And a lot of people came up to me afterwards and said they found it irresponsible. 46:02.573 --> 46:04.454 No, sort of an unpleasant view. 46:04.754 --> 46:08.655 I mean, the director, Ray Tintore, insists that the child was not traumatised. 46:08.675 --> 46:10.475 I'm sure they took great care, yeah. 46:11.255 --> 46:13.796 But still, it's worth a look anyway, see what you think. 46:14.236 --> 46:19.858 Listen, let's get in on the debate and then contact us here at the show and let off some steam. 46:19.978 --> 46:20.858 That's what it's all about. 46:21.758 --> 46:24.459 Okay, let's get into textination right now. 46:24.499 --> 46:25.039 Here's the jingle. 46:30.183 --> 46:31.145 What if I don't want to? 46:31.405 --> 46:33.248 But I'm using email. 46:33.388 --> 46:34.090 Is that a problem? 46:37.424 --> 46:42.088 Text the Nation listeners this week is all about cinema rules. 46:42.108 --> 46:53.558 You know we're putting together a cinema manifesto that we're going to issue to all major cinemas in the British Isles and if they don't obey it then Black Squadron are going to perform a top secret operation to bring them down. 46:53.578 --> 46:56.760 I thought you were going to say perform a topless ballet. 46:57.201 --> 46:58.402 Well they might do that as well. 46:58.662 --> 46:59.222 That would be nice. 46:59.242 --> 47:00.644 That's just for us though. 47:01.304 --> 47:02.765 So what kind of stuff have we got coming in? 47:02.885 --> 47:06.226 We've got some very good ideas coming in from the listeners, Adam. 47:06.786 --> 47:08.566 I'll read some out to you right now. 47:08.586 --> 47:09.907 Why don't you do that, John? 47:09.987 --> 47:10.947 Go, now, go. 47:11.627 --> 47:15.368 Here's one from Paul Gledhill in Maidenhead. 47:15.669 --> 47:21.730 He says, all popcorn should be pre-crushed or chewed so as not to be so loud. 47:22.010 --> 47:23.131 That is not practical, Paul. 47:23.191 --> 47:24.191 Come on, it's good. 47:24.211 --> 47:30.093 So you'd order popcorn and then the guy behind the counter, yeah, £2.50 please, and then he'd eat it. 47:30.253 --> 47:31.975 He'd chew it up and feed it to you like a bird. 47:32.196 --> 47:35.941 And then regurgitate it back into a paper tarp. 47:35.961 --> 47:37.863 Like a bird feeding its little chicks. 47:37.943 --> 47:45.674 I mean, it would take time and it would be physically revolting and it would render the popcorn inedible. 47:47.336 --> 47:49.636 it would reduce the crunching noise in the auditorium. 47:49.656 --> 47:54.978 It seems like a fairly extreme thing to do just to... Well, it's being considered for the manifesto. 47:55.118 --> 47:55.618 Here's the thing. 47:55.638 --> 47:57.238 Here's the problem I foresee, right? 47:57.258 --> 48:00.799 And this, tell me if this is being too niggly. 48:01.599 --> 48:08.920 I don't think most people would like to have popcorn, to eat popcorn that's already been eaten and regurgitated by a guy. 48:09.000 --> 48:10.000 Well, they're disease free. 48:10.040 --> 48:10.481 It's okay. 48:10.501 --> 48:11.621 They'd be checked for disease. 48:11.701 --> 48:12.221 Oh, would they? 48:12.901 --> 48:13.321 before. 48:13.361 --> 48:14.643 Yeah, they'd be medically clean. 48:14.703 --> 48:16.284 So it's fine. 48:16.424 --> 48:16.905 That's fine. 48:16.925 --> 48:17.726 That's a good idea. 48:17.766 --> 48:18.246 Good idea. 48:18.286 --> 48:20.408 Here's another one from Matt in Lancaster. 48:20.949 --> 48:24.472 Cinemas should not show adverts that are also on TV. 48:25.253 --> 48:26.494 This is a good, that's a good idea. 48:26.534 --> 48:27.014 Don't you think? 48:27.054 --> 48:27.294 Yes. 48:27.515 --> 48:30.878 This is for the single reason that people still laugh at the inanity 48:31.278 --> 48:33.381 consequently ruining the experience for everyone. 48:33.661 --> 48:46.418 I think it diminishes the cinema-going experience anyway because somewhere in the back of your head it reduces the grand, wonderful dream portal that is the cinema screen into the same... drags it down to the same level as the tele. 48:46.778 --> 48:47.459 Yes, exactly. 48:47.519 --> 48:52.006 No, it's nice to have a unique cinema going experienced, to see ads there that you wouldn't see anywhere else. 48:52.026 --> 48:52.768 So that's a good rule. 48:52.808 --> 48:54.831 That's definitely a good candidate for the manifesto. 48:54.871 --> 48:56.934 Here's another very good one from Gary Chamberlain. 48:57.475 --> 49:02.022 Cinemas should have headphone sockets in the seats like they have on airlines. 49:02.763 --> 49:04.444 I can never understand why they've never done this. 49:04.504 --> 49:05.566 It can't be that expensive. 49:05.906 --> 49:12.953 It beats listening to some cretinous 15 year old on his phone or someone behind you guzzling nachos at deafening volume. 49:13.213 --> 49:15.195 It probably is that expensive though, wouldn't you think? 49:15.415 --> 49:16.737 Just a couple of little wires. 49:17.549 --> 49:19.551 Yeah, but that would be expensive. 49:19.971 --> 49:20.432 I'll do it. 49:21.152 --> 49:21.372 Really? 49:21.392 --> 49:22.113 You go around and fit them all. 49:22.313 --> 49:23.354 I mean, it's a brilliant idea. 49:23.374 --> 49:23.934 It's a good idea. 49:24.055 --> 49:26.917 You have the little quarter inch jack socket there. 49:27.097 --> 49:27.578 Is it quarter inch? 49:27.638 --> 49:28.018 I'm not sure. 49:28.298 --> 49:30.920 Anyway, and so you can plug, you can just bring in your own headphones. 49:30.980 --> 49:32.322 Surround sound headphones as well. 49:32.342 --> 49:33.943 Higher headphones or buy them or anything like that. 49:33.983 --> 49:34.724 You can just plug them in. 49:34.744 --> 49:37.806 Because if 3D takes off, everyone, you know, people might have their own glasses. 49:37.986 --> 49:39.007 They're talking about doing that. 49:39.047 --> 49:41.609 You'll buy your, you know, some Ray-Ban 3D specs. 49:41.669 --> 49:41.890 Right. 49:42.610 --> 49:45.573 So why not go the whole hog and have the headphones as well? 49:46.112 --> 49:48.633 You could have them built into the glasses, right? 49:49.753 --> 49:49.933 Yeah. 49:49.993 --> 49:51.133 Could you go quarter hog? 49:52.374 --> 49:52.654 Yeah. 49:53.594 --> 49:55.834 Okay, all right. 49:56.335 --> 49:57.055 Here's one. 49:57.295 --> 49:58.815 I'm trying to find a really good one. 49:59.475 --> 50:00.316 A-bom-bom-bom-bom. 50:01.356 --> 50:02.476 That's Joe Filling, isn't it? 50:02.496 --> 50:03.436 A-bom-bom-bom-bom-bom. 50:03.776 --> 50:06.617 I should have failed for him, but I just wanted to listen now and then. 50:07.037 --> 50:08.638 This is from Tom in Loughborough. 50:08.958 --> 50:09.838 A-bom-bom-bom. 50:09.878 --> 50:10.838 That's just a bit for free. 50:11.718 --> 50:13.979 Hide Dr. Buckles and Mr. Cornballs. 50:15.039 --> 50:18.543 When the film is on, the cinema should be engulfed in utter darkness. 50:18.843 --> 50:21.165 The only light in the room should be from the projector. 50:21.566 --> 50:29.754 A lot of multiplexes leave the lights on these days and I don't like having my film experience ruined when I accidentally look down and catch a glimpse of my stupid legs and knees. 50:30.034 --> 50:30.815 That's true. 50:31.095 --> 50:38.062 And you know, that's one thing that's very different when you go abroad and when you're on the continent and in the States, they plunge you into total darkness. 50:38.082 --> 50:40.605 They've got much hairier knees as well, so they're less light reflective. 50:40.745 --> 50:41.185 Exactly. 50:41.225 --> 50:43.668 And you can get up to all sorts of different things in the cinema. 50:43.728 --> 50:44.028 It's true. 50:44.068 --> 50:45.710 It's health and safety mad Britain. 50:46.251 --> 50:46.891 Absolutely. 50:46.911 --> 50:48.373 Darkness is illegal, right? 50:48.413 --> 50:50.395 It's illegal for it to be dark. 50:50.675 --> 50:57.297 It's nice, I like it to be so dark that you stumble around, you break a few people's feet and stuff like that, press your hands into their faces. 50:57.957 --> 51:08.241 And definitely, and sometimes if you're unlucky enough to get sat right underneath one of the very bright lights there, or an exit sign, emergency exit sign, sometimes they give out more light than the sun! 51:08.621 --> 51:09.241 Disgusting. 51:09.681 --> 51:10.641 One more last one. 51:11.282 --> 51:12.582 This is from Dave and Mike. 51:12.742 --> 51:14.463 This has taken two brains to concoct. 51:15.983 --> 51:16.824 Hi Adam and Jo. 51:17.485 --> 51:24.393 Seats should be magnetised to stop people going to the toilet more than once and to stop people leaving five minutes from the end. 51:24.653 --> 51:26.375 Well, each... I haven't finished yet. 51:26.716 --> 51:31.501 Each seat should have a noise sensor and if someone makes too much noise an electric shock is delivered. 51:32.242 --> 51:33.843 We like your thinking, Dave and Mike. 51:34.124 --> 51:35.384 It's the kind of thing we like, I like. 51:35.405 --> 51:36.806 It's a little bit woolly, though, isn't it? 51:37.006 --> 51:39.107 Well, flesh isn't magnetic. 51:39.127 --> 51:39.868 Well, that's the thing. 51:39.888 --> 51:43.951 So how would you actually... Unless you insert metal plates in people's butok in. 51:45.773 --> 51:46.853 As they head to the cinema. 51:46.873 --> 51:48.675 Yeah, make them eat like a lead snack. 51:48.915 --> 51:50.156 That would be doable, wouldn't it? 51:50.837 --> 51:52.519 Oh no, I think insert them into the butots. 51:52.539 --> 51:53.441 An iron snack. 51:53.461 --> 51:54.963 There's no nerve endings there, are there? 51:54.983 --> 51:56.625 Just an incision at the top of each buttock. 51:56.685 --> 52:00.431 Wouldn't it be better to avoid slipping plates into people's bottom area? 52:00.471 --> 52:00.892 Stitch it up. 52:01.272 --> 52:05.378 Wouldn't it be better just to have little wee wee bags on the seats? 52:06.519 --> 52:07.800 Um, no, it wouldn't be. 52:07.880 --> 52:08.961 Come on. 52:09.081 --> 52:12.844 I mean, you, you know, bladder capacity is related to height. 52:13.364 --> 52:13.645 Is it? 52:13.665 --> 52:14.805 I read that the other day. 52:14.825 --> 52:15.226 No, you. 52:15.306 --> 52:15.546 Yes. 52:15.886 --> 52:17.207 So shorter people have smaller bladders. 52:17.267 --> 52:17.748 Is that true? 52:17.968 --> 52:19.249 Yeah, certainly applies to me. 52:19.289 --> 52:19.529 Yeah. 52:19.789 --> 52:22.351 So maybe smaller people should go towards the back. 52:23.071 --> 52:24.052 A little wee bag. 52:24.092 --> 52:25.153 What's wrong with a wee bag? 52:25.233 --> 52:26.354 Well, what do you do with it after? 52:26.394 --> 52:31.100 People in the cinema, because it's dark, people think they have carte blanche to drop things on the floor. 52:31.120 --> 52:34.063 I mean, it would be bad if you got it confused with your Pepsi. 52:34.184 --> 52:38.709 Yeah, they dropped it on the floor, then the other bloke gets up to go to the loo and steps on it and it bursts. 52:39.029 --> 52:41.512 Well, you somehow build it into the seat. 52:42.393 --> 52:46.256 Right, well why not go the whole Bunwellian hog and just have lavvy seats? 52:46.276 --> 52:47.317 Why is it with you and hogs? 52:48.798 --> 52:49.478 I'm crazy about hogs. 52:49.498 --> 52:50.759 Why don't they go all the way over all these hogs? 52:50.779 --> 52:51.880 My favourite film is Wild Hogs. 52:52.240 --> 52:54.582 We're going to come back and hear some more of your suggestions. 52:54.762 --> 52:55.283 Keep them coming in. 52:55.303 --> 52:57.064 64046 is the text number. 52:57.104 --> 52:59.586 Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk is the email. 52:59.646 --> 53:01.908 Here's a Mercury Prize-nominated artist right now. 53:01.948 --> 53:03.449 This is Speech to Bell with Spinnin'. 53:05.651 --> 53:07.893 speech to Belle with her single Spinnin'. 53:08.574 --> 53:18.283 And full coverage of the Mercury Prize Awards starts at 7pm on Tuesday night here on BBC 6 Music with Guy Garvey and Elbow talking about winning the prize last year. 53:21.105 --> 53:23.927 When we won the prize, I was so pleased. 53:24.207 --> 53:25.949 I did not expect the prize. 53:26.329 --> 53:29.791 Then I got it, I got it and I ate it. 53:30.092 --> 53:31.232 It was nice. 53:31.673 --> 53:34.114 Now will I get another one? 53:34.675 --> 53:39.978 And Steve LaMax live at the presentation talking to the nominees and bringing you the announcement of the winner live. 53:41.179 --> 53:42.740 Oh, I don't know what that's going to sound like. 53:43.100 --> 53:51.525 He'll actually be hanging from the roof of the venue, and he will be drinking the blood of Melanie of the nominees that night. 53:51.625 --> 53:54.206 The audience will be covered in lamak droppings. 53:54.787 --> 53:55.347 What are they called? 53:55.367 --> 53:56.968 What are lamak droppings called? 53:56.988 --> 53:57.408 Guano. 53:57.448 --> 53:58.249 That's right, guano. 53:58.309 --> 53:59.489 What are lamak droppings called? 54:01.150 --> 54:02.251 Guano bats, no. 54:02.671 --> 54:03.251 Oh, I don't know. 54:03.592 --> 54:03.972 Oh, dear. 54:04.858 --> 54:07.400 Now, listen, folks, you're listening to Adam and Jo here on BBC. 54:07.440 --> 54:09.062 I've got a thing to talk to you about. 54:09.182 --> 54:10.444 I know I was handing you over. 54:10.464 --> 54:11.305 I was doing a lot. 54:11.325 --> 54:11.945 Do it, do it, do it. 54:13.487 --> 54:14.028 Here's Jo. 54:15.129 --> 54:15.489 Nice. 54:16.150 --> 54:20.135 So what do you find, Adam Buxton, any adverts? 54:21.116 --> 54:25.901 Do you find the music on any adverts on telly so annoying that you have to switch them off? 54:26.405 --> 54:32.750 There used to be one ages ago, a few years back, for some kind of flu remedy that had screaming in the middle. 54:32.790 --> 54:35.191 Yes, we talked about that on this show, I think. 54:35.231 --> 54:36.252 It was really weird. 54:36.272 --> 54:39.474 It was just someone going... Halfway through the song. 54:39.755 --> 54:42.717 Here's my two least favourite bits of advert music. 54:43.898 --> 54:47.040 The first one is... Can we play that one, Eliza's Dream? 54:48.000 --> 54:49.161 Do you recognise this music? 54:50.943 --> 54:51.565 Oh yeah. 54:52.287 --> 54:53.711 Doesn't this drive you nuts? 54:53.832 --> 54:54.935 It does. 54:55.055 --> 54:57.603 Would you want this woman doing your banking? 55:00.240 --> 55:02.841 No, everything about it makes me want to hurt the woman. 55:03.061 --> 55:08.065 And then it's accompanied by sort of really teeth edgy kind of animation. 55:08.225 --> 55:10.986 Somehow they've made the animation as sort of creepy as the music. 55:11.287 --> 55:13.108 Well, they're going for the quirk factor, aren't they? 55:13.128 --> 55:17.871 But they've got they've they've done over quirk and it's very annoying. 55:17.951 --> 55:18.611 I've overquoked it. 55:18.691 --> 55:20.112 OK, what about what about this? 55:20.652 --> 55:21.173 Who is that by? 55:21.193 --> 55:21.973 Do you know who that's by? 55:22.033 --> 55:23.734 It's by some sort of proper composer. 55:23.914 --> 55:26.696 It's a proper song that probably is quite meaningful and nice. 55:26.736 --> 55:28.017 That's now been ruined. 55:28.377 --> 55:36.442 Mm-hmm by the dirty admin by the dirty bank man, but here's another amazing song that's been ruined by the dirty admin Do you like it when this song starts? 55:54.777 --> 55:56.039 Don't play the whole flipping thing. 55:56.159 --> 55:57.620 I've cut it out before the sell. 55:58.621 --> 55:59.301 Oh my goodness. 55:59.341 --> 56:00.222 I've got me crunch. 56:00.823 --> 56:04.046 Is that still for the same product, the yogurt corner thing? 56:04.126 --> 56:06.007 Yeah, the fruity yogurt tray. 56:06.288 --> 56:08.109 I mean, it's a nightmare, isn't it? 56:08.289 --> 56:11.993 The original Nina Simone track is all I'm going to play in a second. 56:12.033 --> 56:12.173 Are you? 56:12.193 --> 56:13.534 Yeah, I hadn't really heard the original Nina Simone track. 56:13.554 --> 56:15.596 Are you playing the one where she talks about her boobies? 56:16.056 --> 56:41.118 No, it's a live version and it's actually only it's it's I think two songs from the musical hair stuck together her song but it's a proper moving emotional song about civil rights and about racial repression and when it bursts into that sort of joyful chorus at the end it's only after a lot of quite you know dark and meaningful stuff yes and I think it's being you know marginally trivialized 56:41.698 --> 56:44.061 Yeah, but there's a great tradition of that happening. 56:44.101 --> 56:47.484 I heard the other day on... What was it? 56:47.564 --> 56:48.725 On Moyles' show, in fact. 56:48.765 --> 56:50.187 They were playing Perfect Day. 56:50.207 --> 56:51.528 So here's Perfect Day by Lou Reed. 56:52.029 --> 56:53.650 But it wasn't the original version. 56:53.691 --> 56:58.155 It was that monstrous version they had a few years back with everyone taking one line. 56:58.195 --> 56:59.436 What was that in aid of? 57:00.077 --> 57:00.537 I can't remember. 57:00.557 --> 57:01.798 It was just a BBC promotion. 57:01.818 --> 57:03.398 It was just an ad for the BBC one. 57:03.438 --> 57:05.519 Yeah, and they played the whole track. 57:06.060 --> 57:08.441 I'm glad I spent it with you. 57:08.661 --> 57:10.081 Remember that Leslie Garrett there? 57:10.541 --> 57:11.822 And who's it? 57:11.922 --> 57:16.124 Six Musics very own fun loving criminal Huey's on there as well. 57:16.144 --> 57:19.225 I felt like someone else, someone good. 57:19.625 --> 57:20.966 Yeah, that's disgraceful. 57:21.006 --> 57:21.626 All that stuff. 57:21.906 --> 57:32.634 And that was, I mean, at the time it was bizarre that the BBC was using that song, which is about being a heroin addict, as a promotion for the whole big British castle. 57:32.674 --> 57:33.535 It seemed bizarre. 57:34.195 --> 57:36.557 Do you know Nina Simone's coming back? 57:36.937 --> 57:37.578 Big comeback. 57:37.778 --> 57:39.239 You see, coming from the grave. 57:39.419 --> 57:44.863 Yeah, because Al Pacino has resurrected her digitally and she's going to be called Nina Simone. 57:45.604 --> 57:46.004 Nice. 57:46.144 --> 57:47.385 That's a very obscure joke. 57:50.114 --> 57:53.375 Anyway, look, I thought I'd play that record so you could hear what it's like properly. 57:53.775 --> 57:55.456 And the same happens when you listen to this. 57:55.536 --> 58:04.159 It's brilliant up until the fruity yogurt snack moment when you can't help but envisage middle-aged housewives doing cartwheels in fields. 58:05.180 --> 58:05.760 But here it is. 58:05.820 --> 58:06.220 This is from 1968. 58:07.120 --> 58:08.761 This is Nina Simone with I Got Life. 58:09.381 --> 58:11.062 Ian Brown with Stellify. 58:11.102 --> 58:14.625 I didn't listen properly to that track, but what is to Stellify? 58:14.645 --> 58:16.486 I don't. 58:16.546 --> 58:17.607 It's to make something stellar. 58:17.947 --> 58:18.307 You know what? 58:18.327 --> 58:20.228 I was reading Texanations as well. 58:20.248 --> 58:21.949 I wasn't really paying attention either. 58:22.290 --> 58:23.971 Both of us were not properly paying attention. 58:24.011 --> 58:25.112 At least we're honest about it. 58:25.132 --> 58:26.873 To the Ian Brown track there. 58:26.893 --> 58:27.753 Sorry about that. 58:27.793 --> 58:28.674 Can we just move on? 58:28.734 --> 58:30.215 Do we have to define Stellify? 58:30.715 --> 58:31.636 What if we just listen? 58:31.676 --> 58:35.579 This is just a suggestion that we just ignore it and just carry on. 58:35.659 --> 58:36.399 I see what you mean. 58:37.020 --> 58:37.820 OK, fair enough. 58:37.840 --> 58:39.121 I'm going to run with that. 58:39.461 --> 58:43.224 Actually, I was thinking of rolling with it, but then I thought I'd run with it. 58:44.305 --> 58:48.828 Instead, here's a track that I tried to play last week as a free play, right, listeners? 58:49.308 --> 58:53.572 But the CD got stuck, and it's from an album by Wild Beasts. 58:54.032 --> 59:00.637 They hail from Kendall, I believe, and their album Two Dancers, which has just come out, is really, really good. 59:00.737 --> 59:03.339 Do you remember I described it as a widescreen sound? 59:03.699 --> 59:05.721 Actually got that phrase from the PR notes. 59:06.221 --> 59:08.523 that came with the album. 59:08.783 --> 59:14.207 But actually it was one of the few times when those notes, which are usually pretty ludicrous, was actually right on the money. 59:14.587 --> 59:18.530 It's a great album and I hope you enjoy this track, which is a weird combination of sounds. 59:18.570 --> 59:25.475 His voice is very obviously like Billy McKenzie from The Associates, but then they've also got that kind of... Stellified. 59:25.555 --> 59:29.938 Very bright, stellified guitar sound that you would associate with U2 or something. 59:29.978 --> 59:30.378 I don't know. 59:30.439 --> 59:31.279 It's a good mix though. 59:31.519 --> 59:32.000 Hope you like this. 59:32.020 --> 59:35.082 This is We Still Got The Taste Dancing On Our Tongues by Wildbeast. 59:36.308 --> 59:37.289 That's good stuff, man. 59:42.774 --> 59:44.195 Is that by the Lloydsback Lady? 59:45.136 --> 59:45.837 Could be, couldn't it? 59:46.037 --> 59:46.998 It's good, I liked it. 59:47.278 --> 59:52.543 That was Wild Beasts with We Still Got the Taste dancing on our tongues from their album Two Dancers. 59:53.004 --> 59:55.706 This is Adam and Jo here at BBC Six Music. 59:55.766 --> 59:58.309 A great pleasure to be here with you this Saturday afternoon. 59:58.749 --> 01:00:00.510 It's just a little time check for you. 01:00:00.550 --> 01:00:01.291 It's just gone. 01:00:01.431 --> 01:00:06.134 It's coming up to six minutes past 11 here in London town. 01:00:06.154 --> 01:00:07.435 Beautiful sunny day outside. 01:00:07.455 --> 01:00:08.916 Don't know what you got planned. 01:00:08.956 --> 01:00:10.037 You might like to give us a call. 01:00:10.057 --> 01:00:11.318 Let us know what you got planned for the weekend. 01:00:11.338 --> 01:00:12.519 Gordon Brown, can we still trust him? 01:00:12.539 --> 01:00:13.820 Why can't he be straight with the country? 01:00:13.840 --> 01:00:16.482 Alistair Darling, can Britain really spend its way out of recession? 01:00:17.442 --> 01:00:20.584 And the Millennium Dome, is it a big white elephant? 01:00:21.965 --> 01:00:22.726 Or not. 01:00:23.186 --> 01:00:23.746 Give us a call. 01:00:24.087 --> 01:00:24.767 Let us know what you think. 01:00:28.269 --> 01:00:28.930 That's pathetic. 01:00:29.630 --> 01:00:31.571 OK, made up jokes time, right? 01:00:31.591 --> 01:00:31.951 Made up jokes? 01:00:31.971 --> 01:00:32.712 Yeah, let's have the jingle. 01:00:33.512 --> 01:00:35.133 I'm a funny person. 01:00:35.594 --> 01:00:37.235 I often make up jokes. 01:00:37.595 --> 01:00:41.677 My jokes are more amusing than those of other folks. 01:00:42.378 --> 01:00:46.120 When you hear my joke, I think you'll find that you agree. 01:00:46.560 --> 01:00:50.403 Come on, you're all invited to a made up joke party. 01:00:51.323 --> 01:00:55.686 Yeah, Made Up Jokes listeners is the part of the show where we ask you to send us your Made Up Jokes. 01:00:55.766 --> 01:00:59.248 It couldn't be simpler really, but they do have to be made up. 01:00:59.348 --> 01:01:01.050 They have to be things you've invented. 01:01:01.430 --> 01:01:05.212 They can't be jokes you heard a long time ago and now think you made up. 01:01:05.653 --> 01:01:08.274 They've got to be really creative and created. 01:01:08.655 --> 01:01:19.262 And we have got a bank of experts here at the Big British Castle that vet all of these jokes, apply various stringent algorithms to them, and only the Made Up ones get through. 01:01:22.443 --> 01:01:23.543 I've always wanted to say that. 01:01:23.683 --> 01:01:25.904 Here's one from Robin in Manchester. 01:01:26.424 --> 01:01:29.865 He says, My wife Wendy has made up this terrible, terrible joke. 01:01:29.885 --> 01:01:32.025 So he's palming it off immediately on Wendy there. 01:01:32.165 --> 01:01:32.585 Wendy. 01:01:33.105 --> 01:01:35.506 Worst of all, she seems really pleased with herself. 01:01:35.686 --> 01:01:37.526 This tends to happen if you make up a joke. 01:01:37.626 --> 01:01:38.986 Generally, it's a good feeling. 01:01:39.586 --> 01:01:45.588 Whenever someone says their wife's called Wendy, I just always picture their husband like lolloping around the house with an axe. 01:01:46.508 --> 01:01:46.808 Wendy! 01:01:48.188 --> 01:01:58.817 You're gonna say like Wendy looking really timid and frightened in a corner I thought you're gonna say you hear that she's called Wendy and you picture the husband flying around in green tights Yes, like Peter Pan. 01:01:59.177 --> 01:02:02.220 No, I don't That's what I picture. 01:02:02.640 --> 01:02:09.186 Anyway, here's Wendy's joke This is about she basically says it's not even in the form of like a joke. 01:02:09.406 --> 01:02:09.646 Good. 01:02:09.806 --> 01:02:10.006 Good 01:02:11.127 --> 01:02:14.591 A promiscuous bird keeps singing Frank Sinatra songs. 01:02:15.211 --> 01:02:15.592 Oh dear. 01:02:15.832 --> 01:02:17.894 Igrets, I've had a few. 01:02:17.914 --> 01:02:27.104 Look, so our beautiful assistant, Anthony, is putting her head in her hat. 01:02:27.144 --> 01:02:27.904 She is chuckling. 01:02:28.545 --> 01:02:29.286 Good job, Wendy. 01:02:29.306 --> 01:02:30.067 Have you got one there, Joe? 01:02:30.087 --> 01:02:32.309 Yeah, I've got one here from Jim in Chesterfield. 01:02:35.529 --> 01:02:41.814 The other week, a Native American friend of mine ran out of coffee filters and was forced to use his shoe to brew up. 01:02:42.494 --> 01:02:48.679 Upon hearing this, the local beverage-loving priest described it as a mocha sin. 01:02:52.072 --> 01:02:56.773 I like the fact that he has to wangle in the fact that he's the beverage-loving priest. 01:02:56.793 --> 01:02:57.453 Yeah, that's good. 01:02:57.513 --> 01:02:59.554 The more unbalanced they are, the better. 01:03:00.594 --> 01:03:01.254 That's good, Jim. 01:03:01.574 --> 01:03:03.014 You know, nobody laughed. 01:03:03.474 --> 01:03:04.635 No, it's not that good. 01:03:04.675 --> 01:03:07.195 Well, no, it is good because we were happy. 01:03:07.215 --> 01:03:07.875 It made us happy. 01:03:07.915 --> 01:03:09.115 It didn't make us happy. 01:03:09.316 --> 01:03:12.196 And sometimes happiness is about more than mere. 01:03:12.216 --> 01:03:12.816 Just laughing. 01:03:13.396 --> 01:03:14.277 Laughter. 01:03:14.737 --> 01:03:18.477 Here's one from... Who's this from? 01:03:18.497 --> 01:03:19.278 This is Anonymous. 01:03:20.058 --> 01:03:21.558 Well, you'll understand why when you hear it. 01:03:22.236 --> 01:03:23.718 My made-up joke goes like this. 01:03:24.238 --> 01:03:26.821 So I hear Amy... I like the conversational ones. 01:03:26.881 --> 01:03:27.121 Yes. 01:03:27.962 --> 01:03:32.307 So, I hear Amy Winehouse has cancelled her tour of Saudi Arabia. 01:03:33.068 --> 01:03:33.528 Oh, yeah? 01:03:33.968 --> 01:03:34.269 Yeah. 01:03:34.809 --> 01:03:39.374 They tried to make her go to Riyadh, but she said, no, no, no. 01:03:39.735 --> 01:03:41.416 Oh, that's from Joe, it says at the end. 01:03:41.857 --> 01:03:42.417 Not you, Joe. 01:03:43.098 --> 01:03:44.799 They tried to make her go to re-add. 01:03:45.140 --> 01:03:46.080 That's good, that's good, isn't it? 01:03:46.100 --> 01:03:47.141 Because it sounds a bit like re-add. 01:03:47.161 --> 01:03:48.102 A little bit like it. 01:03:48.122 --> 01:03:49.363 A tiny bit like it. 01:03:50.104 --> 01:03:52.305 Here's one from Adam in Saffron Walden. 01:03:53.026 --> 01:04:00.752 What do you call a heavy metal band that has to really meticulously set up their instruments and make sure everything is neat and tidy on stage? 01:04:01.993 --> 01:04:02.554 OCDC. 01:04:03.345 --> 01:04:04.226 That's good. 01:04:04.246 --> 01:04:05.086 Is that made up? 01:04:05.346 --> 01:04:06.387 That's too good, maybe. 01:04:06.427 --> 01:04:07.208 That's too good. 01:04:07.248 --> 01:04:08.028 That's too good. 01:04:08.168 --> 01:04:09.329 OCDC. 01:04:09.669 --> 01:04:10.530 Have you got more? 01:04:10.570 --> 01:04:11.530 I've got one more. 01:04:11.831 --> 01:04:12.831 Check this out. 01:04:13.572 --> 01:04:14.973 This is from Sean Curtis. 01:04:15.593 --> 01:04:20.396 A group of chess players were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. 01:04:20.777 --> 01:04:24.759 After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 01:04:25.080 --> 01:04:25.600 But why? 01:04:25.780 --> 01:04:27.101 They asked as they moved off. 01:04:27.481 --> 01:04:32.845 Because, said the manager, I can't stand chestnuts boasting in an open foyer. 01:04:33.385 --> 01:04:34.085 That's good. 01:04:36.006 --> 01:04:36.906 That is very good. 01:04:36.926 --> 01:04:38.586 That is good, Sean Curtis. 01:04:38.626 --> 01:04:40.607 We should have saved that one for crinklemas. 01:04:40.767 --> 01:04:41.767 I mean, that's amazing. 01:04:42.027 --> 01:04:42.467 Brilliant. 01:04:42.487 --> 01:04:44.148 We can haul that one out at Christmas again. 01:04:44.248 --> 01:04:45.028 People would have forgotten. 01:04:45.408 --> 01:04:55.991 If you've got a made up joke and you have to have thought of it yourself, and the way to make that clear is for the joke to be really pretty awful and tortured, but for there to be some structural thing happening in it. 01:04:56.011 --> 01:04:58.791 Because I can't stand chestnuts boasting in an open foyer. 01:04:58.911 --> 01:05:01.172 It's not in most joke books that you can open. 01:05:01.972 --> 01:05:10.047 Then send your joke to adamandjo.sixmusic at bbc.co.uk and every single joke we read out will win nothing. 01:05:10.147 --> 01:05:13.132 It will win absolutely nothing Bernie, it will save the life of the fairy. 01:05:13.553 --> 01:05:15.136 Here's the Zutons with Valerie. 01:05:16.237 --> 01:05:25.863 We've got some good made up jokes coming in already on the text but a lot of people are complaining there that the chest one is not a made up joke, it's an oldie and we do rely on our listeners to out liars. 01:05:26.203 --> 01:05:26.503 What? 01:05:26.643 --> 01:05:28.004 I don't believe that's an oldie. 01:05:28.244 --> 01:05:32.287 Three or four people have texted in and said one person says it's been on TV before. 01:05:33.127 --> 01:05:35.808 It's a fairly famous one that's even been on TV. 01:05:36.108 --> 01:05:36.988 Chestnuts? 01:05:37.388 --> 01:05:38.889 Boasting in an open foyer. 01:05:38.909 --> 01:05:39.229 Yes. 01:05:39.929 --> 01:05:43.290 Sean Curtis, get in touch for goodness sake to defend your good name. 01:05:43.430 --> 01:05:53.593 I mean, maybe if we did find, you know, if we prove that someone had deliberately lied, then we could get them into the studio and get some Black Squadron members in and have a live punishment. 01:05:53.733 --> 01:05:54.053 Tickle. 01:05:54.693 --> 01:05:55.153 A tickle. 01:05:55.834 --> 01:05:57.194 I mean, tickling can be dangerous. 01:05:57.694 --> 01:05:59.075 We'll have to check the castle rules. 01:05:59.095 --> 01:06:02.698 We've already established that if Black Squadron tickled you, it could be deadly. 01:06:02.738 --> 01:06:03.859 Well, they're above the law. 01:06:04.159 --> 01:06:04.620 Exactly. 01:06:04.660 --> 01:06:07.702 They can tickle you on the NFI, on the Butox. 01:06:08.763 --> 01:06:14.107 But what if there were some people from the cinema we were talking about earlier that had steel plates in their Butox? 01:06:14.307 --> 01:06:16.669 Then they wouldn't be sensitive to the tickling. 01:06:16.689 --> 01:06:18.410 They would be immune from the tickling. 01:06:18.691 --> 01:06:20.092 Anyway, we can deal with this later on. 01:06:20.932 --> 01:06:23.653 But yeah, keep your jokes coming in, especially through the week. 01:06:23.673 --> 01:06:31.957 You know, if you're listening to the podcast as well and you want to keep some coming in there, then make sure you do so. 01:06:32.757 --> 01:06:42.822 Now, I've been reading a book by Roald Dahl to my children recently, and you know, Roald Dahl continues to be a favorite author for children all over the world. 01:06:42.902 --> 01:06:43.582 Well done, Roald. 01:06:43.742 --> 01:06:47.264 Did you like Roald as I used to call him? 01:06:47.404 --> 01:06:48.725 Yeah, I used to love Roald. 01:06:49.705 --> 01:06:51.286 Did you ever read Danny Champion of the World? 01:06:51.627 --> 01:06:52.968 That's one I never read, no. 01:06:53.328 --> 01:06:57.471 Well, it was one that was always talked about by my contemporaries at school. 01:06:57.511 --> 01:06:59.433 And I never read it myself when I was growing up. 01:06:59.753 --> 01:07:03.215 But I remembered our friend Mark particularly saying how much he loved it. 01:07:03.275 --> 01:07:05.317 And I thought, oh, yeah, I should read that. 01:07:05.357 --> 01:07:06.318 I should get that for the boys. 01:07:06.858 --> 01:07:15.541 And it's sort of oddly dated because it's about a father and son who are involved with poaching pheasants, right, one way or another. 01:07:15.581 --> 01:07:23.583 And they kind of gang up against this nasty local landowner and teach him a lesson by doing some poaching shenanigans. 01:07:24.224 --> 01:07:27.765 But the backbone of the story is the relationship between the father... I'm seeing Mel Smith. 01:07:28.625 --> 01:07:29.746 as the local landowner. 01:07:29.766 --> 01:07:30.047 Yeah. 01:07:30.327 --> 01:07:32.028 Well, there was a film adaptation of it. 01:07:32.489 --> 01:07:34.030 With an actor and his son, was it? 01:07:34.250 --> 01:07:36.913 I think Jeremy Irons was in one film adaptation. 01:07:36.953 --> 01:07:39.155 Yeah, and his real son played Danny, didn't he? 01:07:39.215 --> 01:07:39.655 Possibly. 01:07:40.476 --> 01:07:46.862 Anyway, I haven't seen the film, but in the book, the relationship between the father and the son is absolutely key. 01:07:47.202 --> 01:07:52.007 And it's a sort of utopian depiction of what that relationship might be. 01:07:52.367 --> 01:07:59.632 So as a father reading this to your sons, you're forced to feel a little bit like you're coming up short as a father when you're reading it, right? 01:07:59.652 --> 01:07:59.952 But why? 01:08:00.033 --> 01:08:02.674 What kind of things is rolled saying? 01:08:03.135 --> 01:08:10.420 Well, just the extent to which the son idolises his father, because the book is told from the point of view of Danny, the son, right? 01:08:10.860 --> 01:08:14.443 And he just talks non-stop about how perfect his father is the whole time. 01:08:14.543 --> 01:08:18.006 The mother is dead in the book, so it's just him and his dad living in the caravan. 01:08:18.066 --> 01:08:18.606 So she's off the hook. 01:08:18.886 --> 01:08:20.227 She's off the hook, no problem. 01:08:20.247 --> 01:08:21.068 It's all on the dad. 01:08:21.608 --> 01:08:23.150 And they just live in this caravan. 01:08:23.170 --> 01:08:24.411 They don't have a TV or anything. 01:08:24.731 --> 01:08:26.332 No sort of serious mod cons. 01:08:26.652 --> 01:08:31.196 They just live this life totally disconnected from DS's and tellies and all those other things. 01:08:31.276 --> 01:08:33.017 Well, it was written probably in the 70s, wasn't it? 01:08:33.157 --> 01:08:34.018 It was, yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:08:34.198 --> 01:08:45.004 But so they just make up their own entertainment and every day is a wonderful rollercoaster ride of wonder and fantastical things thanks to Danny's dad. 01:08:45.504 --> 01:08:55.189 And as I was reading it, like I was sort of embarrassed reading it to my son because I fell so far short of this ideal that had been set up by Roald Dahl. 01:08:55.810 --> 01:09:01.813 So what I've done is I've I'm going to read you like a paragraph from the book, a real paragraph from Danny Champion of the World. 01:09:02.333 --> 01:09:08.957 And then you have to see where I've slightly added the reality of my own fatherhood onto the end, okay? 01:09:09.918 --> 01:09:12.419 So here's a bit from Danny Champion of the World by Roald Dahl. 01:09:13.140 --> 01:09:15.881 I really loved those morning walks to school with my father. 01:09:16.282 --> 01:09:17.943 We talked practically the whole time. 01:09:18.543 --> 01:09:23.026 Mostly, it was just he who talked and I who listened, and just about everything he said was fascinating. 01:09:23.326 --> 01:09:24.446 He was a true countryman. 01:09:24.767 --> 01:09:29.850 The fields, the streams, the woods, and all the creatures who lived in these places were a part of his life. 01:09:30.430 --> 01:09:36.796 Although he was a mechanic by trade and a very fine one, I believe he could have become a great naturalist if only he had had good schooling. 01:09:37.296 --> 01:09:48.005 Long ago he had taught me the names of all the trees and the wildflowers and all the grasses that grow in the fields, all the birds too I could name, not only by citing them but by listening to their calls and their songs. 01:09:48.686 --> 01:10:01.089 Then one day, my father was arrested for poaching, and was placed in the care of a short— I was placed in the care of a short stocky man with a beard, who insisted I call him either Buck-ulies or Dr. Buckles, although he was not really a doctor. 01:10:01.669 --> 01:10:08.370 He said that he didn't have time to walk me to school, because he was working on important jingles, and from now on he would drive me instead. 01:10:08.970 --> 01:10:14.731 I tried to ask him the names of the trees and plants we passed as we drove, but he couldn't tell me what a single one was called. 01:10:15.351 --> 01:10:17.352 Often he was unsure which were actually trees. 01:10:18.132 --> 01:10:24.235 I asked him what kind of engine his car had and he said he thought the car took diesel and that it was silver, but that was it. 01:10:24.936 --> 01:10:28.978 I asked him about politics and he started mumbling about everything being Al Gore's fault. 01:10:29.618 --> 01:10:34.181 After a few days the conversation ran out altogether and we sat in silence on the trips to school. 01:10:34.641 --> 01:10:39.604 Then one morning he emerged from the house brandishing a shiny disc which he thrust into the car's CD player. 01:10:40.124 --> 01:10:44.508 He turned to me and said, I've made us a simply marvellous compilation to listen to in the car, Danny. 01:10:44.948 --> 01:10:47.411 There's some B-sides by Dirty Shirty and the buggernauts. 01:10:47.951 --> 01:10:52.075 And there's a few life tracks by Jimmy Big Nuts, Pointy Pinger, and Jihadaway. 01:10:52.695 --> 01:10:55.718 I think this is going to be the most wonderful trip to school you've ever taken. 01:10:56.358 --> 01:11:01.443 I opened the car door and ran and ran, and I didn't stop running until I was far, far away. 01:11:02.585 --> 01:11:06.567 Could you tell where the real story changed and where I came in there? 01:11:07.688 --> 01:11:08.028 No, no. 01:11:08.048 --> 01:11:11.850 The transition was so smooth. 01:11:12.911 --> 01:11:15.652 You wait till you're a father and you read Danny Champion of the World. 01:11:15.752 --> 01:11:18.514 You will feel a little bit on the guilty side, I can guarantee. 01:11:19.435 --> 01:11:20.916 It's dramatic opposites though, isn't it? 01:11:20.976 --> 01:11:23.379 Because he's a poacher, he's a criminal. 01:11:25.161 --> 01:11:26.683 But he's a brilliant, lovely criminal. 01:11:26.903 --> 01:11:27.784 He's a noble criminal. 01:11:28.344 --> 01:11:29.786 So that works well dramatically. 01:11:29.866 --> 01:11:39.036 But whereas you are a lazy father who doesn't care as much about his... No, I have to word this carefully. 01:11:39.156 --> 01:11:39.596 Yeah, you do. 01:11:39.616 --> 01:11:43.477 But you present yourself as a lazy father who's more interested in his own concerns. 01:11:43.517 --> 01:11:45.137 Perhaps in those of the children. 01:11:45.297 --> 01:11:51.038 The thing that worried me most was the fact that the names of the trees and the birds and stuff like that, you know? 01:11:51.198 --> 01:11:56.619 So what would work for you is if you didn't have kids and then you were shouldered with some relatives' kids, you know? 01:11:56.659 --> 01:12:00.520 That would then be a good thing and you were forced to learn about parenthood. 01:12:00.740 --> 01:12:04.760 Yeah, but why can't the children be interested in Einster's and Annoy Barton and stuff like that? 01:12:04.780 --> 01:12:06.621 I could tell them all sorts of things about that. 01:12:06.641 --> 01:12:07.461 That's what kids are for. 01:12:08.961 --> 01:12:10.762 to destroy you, to kill you. 01:12:10.922 --> 01:12:11.622 Yeah, there you go. 01:12:11.642 --> 01:12:12.863 Here's some music right now. 01:12:12.903 --> 01:12:14.003 This is M.I.A. 01:12:14.083 --> 01:12:14.964 with Paper Plane. 01:12:15.704 --> 01:12:18.485 That's the Beatles, which she said, she said. 01:12:18.505 --> 01:12:23.207 And there's a big week of all Beatles stuff on telly, isn't there, coming up? 01:12:23.547 --> 01:12:26.348 Yeah, because they are re-releasing, probably not for the last time. 01:12:26.388 --> 01:12:29.349 Every time they re-release the Beatles back catalogue, you think, surely that's it. 01:12:29.829 --> 01:12:34.031 But now they always find some new way of re-releasing the whole lot and getting excited about it. 01:12:34.971 --> 01:12:37.613 And I'm excited about it, because they always do find new little nuggets. 01:12:37.953 --> 01:12:43.858 I mean, it won't be the same when all four of the Beatles are finally no longer with us, you know? 01:12:43.978 --> 01:12:46.600 That sad day will come. 01:12:47.080 --> 01:12:48.421 When they crash into the Eiffel Tower. 01:12:48.461 --> 01:12:54.365 When they crash into the Eiffel Tower, or they get in a car with a murderer, something like that. 01:12:54.485 --> 01:12:59.168 But, you know, it's still interesting reading the interviews with Paul McCartney and stuff that are around, and he's talking about 01:13:00.129 --> 01:13:07.612 you know, John Lennon not actually being so grumpy as he's made out to be and so acerbic. 01:13:07.952 --> 01:13:11.413 Some people are sort of saying, well, John Lennon, you used to really slag off Paul McCartney. 01:13:12.774 --> 01:13:15.455 And Paul says, no, no, no, we got on very well. 01:13:15.575 --> 01:13:16.675 It was just the way he was. 01:13:16.735 --> 01:13:23.578 He would be fast and loose and say crazy old Gallagher style things or Liam Gallagher style things. 01:13:23.618 --> 01:13:24.258 And actually, he was a lot 01:13:24.338 --> 01:13:25.559 Lennon's overrated anyway. 01:13:25.619 --> 01:13:28.562 He couldn't record an album like Pipes of Peace if he tried. 01:13:28.582 --> 01:13:30.984 That's right, and he'd be lost with a frog chorus. 01:13:31.644 --> 01:13:32.905 He wouldn't know what to do with him. 01:13:33.126 --> 01:13:35.948 He'd be absolutely lost. 01:13:36.008 --> 01:13:38.630 It's Adam and Jo here on BPC6 Music. 01:13:38.810 --> 01:13:44.936 Coming up to our last half hour here this Saturday morning, it's 11.30 and it's time for the news. 01:13:45.476 --> 01:14:01.719 mystery jets uh now that's not called two doors down is it yeah yeah yeah really think i'm in love with a girl who lives two doors down that's what they were singing there you go well then it is it is called two doors down this is adam and joan bbc6 music now we were asking for made up jokes and we were sent one 01:14:02.319 --> 01:14:03.700 to do with a chess convention. 01:14:04.020 --> 01:14:05.500 Sean Curtis sent this in. 01:14:05.720 --> 01:14:09.242 Group of chess players standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. 01:14:09.602 --> 01:14:12.283 After an hour, the manager comes out of the office and asks them to disperse. 01:14:12.363 --> 01:14:13.163 Why, they ask. 01:14:13.443 --> 01:14:17.905 Because, he says, I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer. 01:14:18.345 --> 01:14:20.646 I was very, very impressed. 01:14:20.706 --> 01:14:22.407 And Chris, his name's Chris Wright. 01:14:22.607 --> 01:14:23.307 Sean Curtis. 01:14:23.427 --> 01:14:24.928 Sean, his name's Chris Wright. 01:14:25.828 --> 01:14:28.369 Sean told us that he'd made that up. 01:14:28.740 --> 01:14:29.561 Well, I don't know. 01:14:29.681 --> 01:14:33.504 James has clipped the joke out of his email, so we don't have the rest of the email. 01:14:33.524 --> 01:14:35.385 But still, that's a terrible lie. 01:14:35.826 --> 01:14:37.087 And the rules are very strict here. 01:14:37.107 --> 01:14:38.167 He might not have lied, though. 01:14:38.207 --> 01:14:39.288 He might have just sent it in. 01:14:39.308 --> 01:14:42.090 He said it was made up. 01:14:42.211 --> 01:14:43.351 Adam's trying to defend him there. 01:14:43.712 --> 01:14:54.140 We've got a flurry of texts and emails presenting evidence that the joke is in fact very old, including this one from Freddie, fraud for exclamation marks. 01:14:55.881 --> 01:14:59.965 7,650 Google hits, four chestnuts boasting in an open foyer. 01:15:00.465 --> 01:15:03.488 Bring the cheat in for a black squadron tickling. 01:15:04.429 --> 01:15:08.112 So this week we are going to try and get in touch with Sean. 01:15:08.612 --> 01:15:12.416 We're going to arrange for him to be brought to the station in chains. 01:15:13.096 --> 01:15:18.977 And then if all goes according to plan, we will select a Black Squadron member to come into the studio as well. 01:15:19.337 --> 01:15:31.720 And then either next week or the week after, depending on how long it takes to arrange, or possibly never, depending on the rules, there will be a sort of a public flogging in the studio, or tickling, not flogging. 01:15:31.800 --> 01:15:34.900 And does he have to come and change, or can he come in brushes too? 01:15:37.521 --> 01:15:37.841 Change. 01:15:40.515 --> 01:15:54.940 yeah now he has to come in chains on the chain couple of chains to come on the chain so there we go um because we don't put up with that kind of thing here at the adam and joe show i can't believe you'd let me down like that boy what are you thinking we got that joke over the summer 01:15:55.640 --> 01:15:59.222 So we weren't able to properly... He might not be listening. 01:15:59.402 --> 01:16:05.906 He might well have left the country because of... He might have other joke fraud charges currently pending. 01:16:05.966 --> 01:16:08.787 He might be doing some international Nigerian joke fraud. 01:16:08.807 --> 01:16:10.568 He's the Ronnie Biggs of the joke world. 01:16:10.948 --> 01:16:13.190 He's gone off to live in luxury and... 01:16:14.372 --> 01:16:18.594 We're going to track him down and we're going to bring him to justice for your benefit listeners. 01:16:18.614 --> 01:16:19.474 All right. 01:16:20.054 --> 01:16:20.515 All right. 01:16:20.575 --> 01:16:21.835 Now, here's a free play for you, folks. 01:16:21.875 --> 01:16:23.556 This is The New Pornographers. 01:16:24.056 --> 01:16:27.618 And I like this song because it's I like this song because I like that. 01:16:27.638 --> 01:16:32.140 The reason I like this song is because I like it because it is about archaeologists. 01:16:32.380 --> 01:16:32.740 Time's up. 01:16:32.840 --> 01:16:33.280 Time's up. 01:16:33.300 --> 01:16:35.061 There are not many songs about archaeologists. 01:16:35.241 --> 01:16:37.582 And it makes me think of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. 01:16:37.842 --> 01:16:39.883 This is called The Bones of an Idol by The New Pornographers. 01:16:40.700 --> 01:16:41.560 Love that song. 01:16:41.781 --> 01:16:44.082 That's The Bones of an Idol by The New Pornographers. 01:16:44.262 --> 01:16:51.346 Now, we promised last week that we were going to canvas suggestions for a Song Wars subject from you, the listeners. 01:16:52.186 --> 01:16:55.428 They poured into our blog and we have made our decision. 01:16:56.008 --> 01:16:59.410 But should we tell people what kind of things were suggested? 01:16:59.910 --> 01:17:03.734 Yeah, we had lots of fantastic suggestions on the blog. 01:17:04.915 --> 01:17:08.338 Here is, for instance, one that Gary Socrates sent in. 01:17:08.779 --> 01:17:15.405 He wanted us to do a song about our favourite animal in the zoo in the style of a 70s prog rock band. 01:17:15.866 --> 01:17:22.132 This could then be developed into a concept album along the lines of pictures of an exhibition, except about monkeys, for instance. 01:17:22.672 --> 01:17:24.154 That is an idea that we rejected. 01:17:24.634 --> 01:17:25.935 He thought it was no good. 01:17:25.955 --> 01:17:27.416 It's insanely complicated. 01:17:27.436 --> 01:17:29.318 It's good, no, but we didn't think it was no good. 01:17:29.338 --> 01:17:31.379 We thought it was brilliant, but it was too much for us. 01:17:32.140 --> 01:17:34.242 Here was one from Mike Murr. 01:17:34.762 --> 01:17:36.984 He says, I think a sea shanty would be great. 01:17:37.004 --> 01:17:38.945 I've got no specific themes in mind. 01:17:39.466 --> 01:17:45.210 I'd just love to hear you do a sea shanty, little accordion, perhaps some seagull noises to complete the scene. 01:17:45.250 --> 01:17:48.773 Well, I've got a melodica and that would be good for a sea shanty, I think. 01:17:49.053 --> 01:17:50.014 I like that suggestion. 01:17:50.154 --> 01:17:51.715 There were some very good suggestions. 01:17:51.775 --> 01:17:55.239 Here was one of my favourite ones, even though this didn't make it. 01:17:55.759 --> 01:17:58.221 Derek Boland wanted a fantasy face-off. 01:17:58.722 --> 01:18:06.408 He wanted one of us to play the role of Hoggle from Labyrinth, and another to play the role of Dobby from Harry Potter, Dobby the Howself. 01:18:07.009 --> 01:18:10.772 And then they would both throw songs insulting their masters. 01:18:11.873 --> 01:18:15.977 To quote, he says, they would throw insults back and forth about whose master is the bigger Ponce. 01:18:16.957 --> 01:18:21.399 Jareth, the goblin king from Labyrinth, or Harry Potter from Harry Potter. 01:18:21.479 --> 01:18:22.519 Is he really called Jareth? 01:18:22.559 --> 01:18:23.900 Jareth. 01:18:23.940 --> 01:18:24.820 That would make sense. 01:18:24.860 --> 01:18:25.381 What a terrible name. 01:18:25.401 --> 01:18:28.962 Like he makes between Jared and Gareth. 01:18:29.482 --> 01:18:33.024 And he wanted that sung in a light opera Gilbert and Sullivan style. 01:18:33.044 --> 01:18:34.744 I mean, that's a good idea. 01:18:34.784 --> 01:18:36.905 We might store that one up in the memory box. 01:18:36.985 --> 01:18:38.666 And is he definitely hoggle, not coggle? 01:18:39.326 --> 01:18:41.007 No, you were saying Kogel. 01:18:41.027 --> 01:18:41.647 What were we saying? 01:18:41.667 --> 01:18:42.247 We got it right. 01:18:42.267 --> 01:18:43.148 I can't remember. 01:18:43.188 --> 01:18:44.729 It's blended in my mind. 01:18:44.769 --> 01:18:47.670 We got wrapped on the knuckles before for confusing Kogel and Kogel. 01:18:48.070 --> 01:18:50.411 But listen, here is the one we have chosen. 01:18:50.732 --> 01:18:53.133 And this was sent in by Rufus Blacklock. 01:18:53.413 --> 01:18:57.615 And he wrote, please, Adam and Jo, I need some bath time songs for when I'm in the bath. 01:18:58.055 --> 01:19:01.718 Perhaps reggae like Under the Sea in The Little Mermaid? 01:19:02.259 --> 01:19:05.522 Please make them bubbly, splooshy, and all watery. 01:19:05.962 --> 01:19:07.043 Thanks, says Rufus." 01:19:07.463 --> 01:19:13.349 So that had a simplicity that appeals to Adam and I, even though, do you think we're going to come up with quite similar songs? 01:19:13.409 --> 01:19:14.089 Probably, yeah. 01:19:14.109 --> 01:19:17.793 There's a limited set of experiences in the bath. 01:19:17.813 --> 01:19:18.934 The talent for bath time songs. 01:19:18.974 --> 01:19:19.214 Yeah. 01:19:19.454 --> 01:19:26.561 We should play next week, as well as our songs, we should play a track called Bathtime in Clarkingwell by The Real Tuesday World, which is very good. 01:19:26.861 --> 01:19:27.922 It's just instrumental, though. 01:19:28.163 --> 01:19:32.567 I think we should try and push ourselves away from the more obvious bath references. 01:19:32.647 --> 01:19:33.127 Or maybe not. 01:19:33.428 --> 01:19:34.809 Maybe just let it happen. 01:19:34.989 --> 01:19:38.272 Why don't you push yourself away from the obvious? 01:19:39.093 --> 01:19:40.154 Yeah, you're right. 01:19:41.235 --> 01:19:45.819 I was thinking, because the big decision is who you are in the bath. 01:19:45.899 --> 01:19:47.240 Are you going to be just yourself? 01:19:47.520 --> 01:19:49.161 Or you could be anyone in the bath. 01:19:49.181 --> 01:19:50.642 You could be a special person. 01:19:50.662 --> 01:19:51.303 No one's your wife. 01:19:51.363 --> 01:19:52.243 No one's your wife. 01:19:52.704 --> 01:19:54.245 David's having a bath. 01:19:54.385 --> 01:19:58.268 Running the bath and it's bubbling over my bits. 01:19:58.848 --> 01:20:00.790 Hey, come on. 01:20:00.830 --> 01:20:02.091 We don't play them until next week. 01:20:02.591 --> 01:20:03.272 You know, that would do. 01:20:04.873 --> 01:20:05.773 As far as I'm concerned. 01:20:05.793 --> 01:20:06.934 So that's what we're going to go with. 01:20:06.994 --> 01:20:10.415 Sometime between now and next week, we are going to write songs about bath. 01:20:10.595 --> 01:20:12.496 And yeah, we'll be playing those next week. 01:20:12.776 --> 01:20:13.917 If all goes according to plan. 01:20:13.977 --> 01:20:14.977 Thank you very much, Rufus. 01:20:15.017 --> 01:20:17.178 And thanks to everyone who put suggestions on our blog. 01:20:17.218 --> 01:20:23.301 If you want to visit our blog, it's at bbc.co.uk forward slash blogs forward slash Adam and Joe. 01:20:23.421 --> 01:20:27.043 And it's a reciprocal for all of your relevant waffle. 01:20:28.024 --> 01:20:28.904 A reciprocal. 01:20:29.284 --> 01:20:29.584 Yeah. 01:20:29.624 --> 01:20:30.025 Receptical. 01:20:30.065 --> 01:20:30.285 Oh, God. 01:20:33.306 --> 01:20:34.367 You're going all jarrath. 01:20:34.827 --> 01:20:37.369 You're going all jarrath on the listeners' arses. 01:20:37.689 --> 01:20:43.853 And don't forget, as well, there is a podcast available of this show, which comes out on a Monday evening. 01:20:43.893 --> 01:20:46.675 I think it was, yeah, it came out Monday last week, didn't it? 01:20:46.775 --> 01:20:48.336 Even though it was bank holiday, James. 01:20:48.356 --> 01:20:49.797 That's the kind of producer we got here. 01:20:49.837 --> 01:20:51.278 It was out on Sunday last week. 01:20:51.298 --> 01:20:51.559 Was it? 01:20:51.599 --> 01:20:58.223 There was a lot of excitement on another non-castle-sponsored blog, madamandjo.com, which is another very good fan blog. 01:20:58.243 --> 01:21:00.485 They were very excited that it popped up 01:21:01.045 --> 01:21:01.746 on Sunday. 01:21:01.906 --> 01:21:03.226 Top producing, James. 01:21:03.547 --> 01:21:07.889 He puts our podcast together from highlights, so-called highlights from this program. 01:21:08.349 --> 01:21:11.151 And it's a very enjoyable listen if I do say so myself. 01:21:11.191 --> 01:21:11.751 So check it out. 01:21:11.871 --> 01:21:13.152 Yeah, sorry, mate. 01:21:13.232 --> 01:21:14.313 We're going to play another record. 01:21:14.333 --> 01:21:16.234 Then we'll be back to wrap up Text the Nation. 01:21:16.314 --> 01:21:16.574 Yeah. 01:21:16.994 --> 01:21:18.615 Here's the kinks with Waterloo Sunset. 01:21:19.147 --> 01:21:24.770 At the kinks there with Waterloo Sunset, this is Adam and Jo on BBC6 Music in the last 10 minutes of our show. 01:21:25.050 --> 01:21:26.531 We're going to wrap up Texternation. 01:21:26.551 --> 01:21:28.091 Are we going to have a bit of a jingle? 01:21:28.111 --> 01:21:29.012 A bit of a jingle-jungle. 01:21:29.032 --> 01:21:32.254 You haven't got any listener jingles there, have you, James, by any chance? 01:21:32.754 --> 01:21:41.998 Sometimes what we do is we get some of our listeners to send in their own versions of some of the jingles we use here on the programme, and feel free to do that any time you wish. 01:21:42.839 --> 01:21:43.679 James, have you got one there? 01:21:43.699 --> 01:21:46.581 Yeah, here's one that a listener sent in of our Texternation jingle. 01:21:47.561 --> 01:21:48.021 Oh, hello. 01:21:48.241 --> 01:21:52.803 Now, we were sort of getting people to try and copy the jingle as accurately as possible, right? 01:21:52.883 --> 01:21:55.623 Yeah, do their own insane versions thereof. 01:21:55.683 --> 01:21:56.584 Yeah, remixes. 01:21:56.704 --> 01:21:57.324 That kind of thing. 01:21:57.364 --> 01:21:58.244 Like this, for example. 01:22:23.549 --> 01:22:24.149 Oh, there we go. 01:22:24.209 --> 01:22:25.689 It's because of his regional accent. 01:22:25.709 --> 01:22:26.469 He's a Geordie. 01:22:27.770 --> 01:22:31.611 I like it generally when words are sung funny to make them fit a tune. 01:22:31.631 --> 01:22:32.511 Do you know what I mean? 01:22:32.531 --> 01:22:35.631 Slightly mispronounced to make them fit a tune. 01:22:35.711 --> 01:22:40.813 I did a jingle for this show the other day that I never bought in because I ended up to fit it into the beat. 01:22:40.913 --> 01:22:44.113 I ended up singing Adam and Jo on the BBC. 01:22:44.854 --> 01:22:45.634 Because I said BBC. 01:22:46.494 --> 01:22:48.856 I just thought I can't have a jiggle. 01:22:48.996 --> 01:22:50.738 I've got some new jingles for the podcast this week. 01:22:50.758 --> 01:22:52.300 They're a tiny bit on the embarrassing side. 01:22:52.320 --> 01:22:52.620 Are they? 01:22:52.780 --> 01:22:53.060 Yeah. 01:22:53.441 --> 01:22:54.802 You have to listen to the podcast to find out. 01:22:54.822 --> 01:22:55.342 That was very good. 01:22:55.362 --> 01:22:56.063 Who was that by there? 01:22:56.143 --> 01:22:57.344 That was unusually sincere. 01:22:57.424 --> 01:23:02.629 And that was not a reworking of our existing jingle, but an entirely new take on the whole textination. 01:23:02.649 --> 01:23:03.630 Who's the chatbot down there? 01:23:04.711 --> 01:23:05.071 Alex. 01:23:05.252 --> 01:23:06.012 Adam, there you go. 01:23:06.512 --> 01:23:10.315 Anyway, so Text the Nation this week is all about a cinema manifesto we're putting together. 01:23:10.355 --> 01:23:21.241 We want your new rules for behaviour and etiquette at cinemas that we're going to impose on all cinemas in the British Isles, otherwise they'll be subverted in a way we haven't thought of yet by Black Squadron. 01:23:21.661 --> 01:23:23.282 So here are some good suggestions. 01:23:23.302 --> 01:23:27.845 Who's the pirate? 01:23:28.185 --> 01:23:30.607 The pirate and then the Phil in quick succession. 01:23:31.547 --> 01:23:32.488 Wow, what a great moment. 01:23:32.528 --> 01:23:33.229 It's pirate Phil. 01:23:33.869 --> 01:23:38.012 Michelin Ian in their conservatory in Rainey Bolton. 01:23:38.492 --> 01:23:46.357 They say the following, people used to clap or cheer when the British board of film classification information came on the screen as it signalled the start of the film. 01:23:46.798 --> 01:23:50.340 I remember this fondly and still give a quiet little cheer even now. 01:23:50.420 --> 01:23:52.641 Please make this mandatory in your manifesto. 01:23:52.741 --> 01:23:53.322 I agree. 01:23:53.342 --> 01:23:54.463 The whole audience must go... 01:23:55.572 --> 01:24:02.236 Because I still, I still, when that logo comes up on the screen, I still reach across and grab the arm of whoever I'm with and give them a little thumbs up. 01:24:02.256 --> 01:24:03.817 A free song of excitement. 01:24:04.438 --> 01:24:04.738 Here we go! 01:24:04.758 --> 01:24:04.998 Hell Potter! 01:24:05.018 --> 01:24:05.459 Hold tight. 01:24:05.619 --> 01:24:09.821 Strap yourselves down for two and a half hours of bone. 01:24:09.962 --> 01:24:10.822 Pointless noise. 01:24:11.943 --> 01:24:14.325 Here is another one that comes from Amanda and Liam. 01:24:14.665 --> 01:24:16.126 They say, cinema passport. 01:24:16.486 --> 01:24:19.148 You get a unique stamp for every film scene. 01:24:19.488 --> 01:24:20.389 So you have a record. 01:24:20.589 --> 01:24:25.052 It's a way to show off plus screen potential friends and outliers. 01:24:25.792 --> 01:24:29.313 Quite a good idea, you have a passport, when you see a film they stamp it on the way in. 01:24:29.593 --> 01:24:30.814 So you'd end up with a book. 01:24:31.254 --> 01:24:35.175 Here's one from Eggman from East Kill Bride. 01:24:35.635 --> 01:24:39.197 Adam and Jo, my input to the manifesto is regarding armrests on seats. 01:24:51.821 --> 01:24:57.245 Cinemas should provide armrests for each seat rather than some kind of communal one between each seat. 01:24:57.305 --> 01:25:02.850 This causes unacceptable levels of elbow jostling and awkwardness if you've got a stranger on one side of you. 01:25:03.530 --> 01:25:08.354 If this is unworkable then people should only be allowed to rest their elbow on the armrest to their right where the drink holder is. 01:25:08.714 --> 01:25:10.976 Failure to comply should be punished with amputation. 01:25:12.837 --> 01:25:13.818 I'd have a similar thing. 01:25:13.858 --> 01:25:22.347 I was in the cinema the other day and a man came and sat next to me and he put his arm on the same rest as mine and the little hairs on his arm were like daintily touching my arm hairs. 01:25:22.367 --> 01:25:23.148 Your bare arm? 01:25:23.188 --> 01:25:23.529 Yeah. 01:25:24.049 --> 01:25:26.271 And it was once sexy and utterly revolting. 01:25:26.311 --> 01:25:27.493 And did he just leave it there? 01:25:27.973 --> 01:25:29.514 Yeah, well, it was kind of like a challenge. 01:25:29.534 --> 01:25:33.116 It was like a little fairy light challenge along my hairy arm. 01:25:33.136 --> 01:25:37.318 As soon as I get any stranger flesh contact, I would draw immediately. 01:25:37.338 --> 01:25:40.860 Well, that's what he wanted me to do, but I thought, oh, yeah, that's the game you're playing, are you? 01:25:41.021 --> 01:25:41.301 Yeah. 01:25:41.341 --> 01:25:43.162 So the way to go is to sort of caress better. 01:25:43.182 --> 01:25:46.844 So the hair on your arm stood up and started intermingling with his. 01:25:46.864 --> 01:25:49.625 I just plunged my hand into his inner thigh and started tickling. 01:25:50.967 --> 01:25:54.872 and then reached round to the Butox that found they were encased in metal. 01:25:54.932 --> 01:25:56.434 Yes, have we got any more? 01:25:56.674 --> 01:25:57.416 Let's have a look. 01:25:58.537 --> 01:26:05.106 Yes, Tim in Chelsea says, using a seat for coats is all right, but it must be paid for! 01:26:09.429 --> 01:26:11.030 That's just from the cinema manager. 01:26:24.002 --> 01:26:25.603 Good old Leicester Square. 01:26:25.623 --> 01:26:27.485 That used to happen in the Scarlett, do you remember that? 01:26:27.545 --> 01:26:28.786 Give that a rat's in the cinema, it's good. 01:26:28.806 --> 01:26:32.428 Well, they used to have a cat in the Scarlett in London's King's Cross that would eat all the rats. 01:26:32.448 --> 01:26:37.792 And finally, from Ross Smith, there should be a remote control to let you watch another film if the whole audience agrees. 01:26:38.172 --> 01:26:40.854 Just like in Britain's Got Talent, everyone presses a button when they're bored. 01:26:41.074 --> 01:26:42.735 There's a big cheer when it's the majority. 01:26:42.915 --> 01:26:43.275 Wow. 01:26:43.435 --> 01:26:45.997 If that was up to corn balls, you'd be fast-forwarding to the good bits. 01:26:46.037 --> 01:26:46.437 Yeah. 01:26:46.938 --> 01:26:47.118 What? 01:26:47.318 --> 01:26:48.259 That's your technique. 01:26:48.499 --> 01:26:51.361 When we sit down to watch DVDs, sometimes you're like, oh, this is a boring bit. 01:26:51.641 --> 01:26:53.042 And you skip to the good parts. 01:26:53.602 --> 01:26:54.262 Well you used to. 01:26:54.562 --> 01:26:55.923 Maybe you've matured since maybe. 01:26:56.183 --> 01:27:00.944 Hey listen, keep your suggestions for our film manifesto coming in on our blog and we'll put the top 10 up. 01:27:01.284 --> 01:27:02.304 That's it from us this week. 01:27:02.644 --> 01:27:03.824 Thank you so much for listening. 01:27:03.884 --> 01:27:04.925 Liz Kershaw's coming up. 01:27:04.985 --> 01:27:06.525 Right now here's one final free play. 01:27:06.565 --> 01:27:07.285 This is yours, Joe. 01:27:07.365 --> 01:27:12.406 Yeah, this is Michael Jackson, the pop singer that died recently from his recent album, Invincible. 01:27:12.446 --> 01:27:14.427 This is a remix of a track called Butterflies. 01:27:14.447 --> 01:27:15.087 We'll see you next week. 01:27:15.127 --> 01:27:15.667 Take care, listeners. 01:27:15.687 --> 01:27:15.807 Bye!