WEBVTT 00:05.151 --> 00:05.812 Black Squadron! 00:05.932 --> 00:12.978 Always catch the beginning of the show Black Squadron don't wanna miss a thing That's not the one Black Squadron roll 00:29.938 --> 00:37.801 Went to bed at a reasonable hour, Gotta be sharp on Saturday morning, That's the secret of the squirt brings back 00:41.257 --> 00:55.005 Good morning Black Squadron, you are the elite listening force that tune into the Adam and Jo programme live every Saturday morning from 9am until 9.30pm when you're allowed to relax and stand down. 00:55.285 --> 00:58.027 Yeah, we've got a command for you this morning so stand by for that. 00:58.067 --> 01:02.570 The command we're going to issue you, you just have to obey for the duration of the following record. 01:02.950 --> 01:23.144 Someone told me this week, we got an email, in fact, that said, Richard Bacon, the famous DJ and voiceover artist for Most Annoying Programs on BBC3, I'm not saying like Annoying Programs, I'm just saying the series of programs called Most Annoying Pop Stars, blah, blah, blah. 01:24.005 --> 01:27.686 He was complaining that we ripped this off the idea of Black Squadron. 01:27.706 --> 01:31.747 We ripped it off his show because he's got a secret half hour or something in his program. 01:31.767 --> 01:33.968 I read that as well, but I wasn't going to mention it. 01:34.008 --> 01:35.068 I wasn't going to rise to it. 01:35.408 --> 01:35.768 Were you not? 01:36.048 --> 01:40.349 Yeah, because I think that's a sign of success when other DJs start saying stuff like that. 01:40.649 --> 01:40.870 Yeah. 01:41.090 --> 01:45.491 You know, it's like people accusing Dan Brown of ripping off the Tevinci Code. 01:46.511 --> 01:47.813 He wrote the BBC code. 01:48.133 --> 01:49.555 Yeah, but ripping it off someone else's book. 01:49.575 --> 01:50.436 Oh, I see, I see. 01:50.576 --> 01:53.219 Anything that goes well, someone else is going to claim they thought of it. 01:53.660 --> 01:55.061 Yeah, that's right. 01:55.442 --> 02:03.852 Mr Bacon, sir, I would warrant that that idea was thought of in 1804 by two... Now you're fronting. 02:04.312 --> 02:04.812 Well, how do you mean? 02:04.852 --> 02:07.894 No, I'm just saying that it's been thought of lots of times before. 02:07.914 --> 02:08.735 But that's fronting. 02:08.815 --> 02:09.656 And the way you said that, the bacon sir. 02:09.676 --> 02:10.556 Yeah, well in that case I am fronting. 02:10.856 --> 02:12.077 You squared right up to him. 02:12.097 --> 02:14.419 I'm being, what's the word? 02:14.459 --> 02:16.540 I'm being subservient by saying Mr. Bacon. 02:16.560 --> 02:17.581 I'm tugging my forelock. 02:17.621 --> 02:21.363 Yeah, but you puffed at your chest and you fronted right up to him. 02:21.643 --> 02:24.125 It was like a very, very provocative Mr. Bacon sir. 02:24.145 --> 02:24.725 A throw down. 02:25.186 --> 02:27.147 I'll put it to you Mr. Bacon sir. 02:27.407 --> 02:30.629 I think Bacon can probably make breakfast with us, so to speak. 02:30.769 --> 02:31.010 Yeah. 02:31.070 --> 02:31.470 Don't you think? 02:31.730 --> 02:32.571 Certainly he can. 02:33.451 --> 02:36.514 I mean, I'm flattered that he's aware of Black Squadron. 02:36.534 --> 02:37.595 That's true, you see. 02:37.615 --> 02:40.638 Because they're an elite fighting and listening force. 02:41.138 --> 02:47.183 Maybe the big Black Squadron operation will take place around Mr. Bacon's show to bring it down. 02:47.564 --> 02:47.984 Really? 02:48.144 --> 02:49.165 Yeah, to bring him off air. 02:49.926 --> 02:52.869 Wow, that seems like you're going a lot too far there. 02:52.909 --> 02:53.309 You're right. 02:53.369 --> 02:56.192 I started out trying to just placate the thing and now I've... 02:56.792 --> 02:57.832 I've exacerbated it. 02:57.932 --> 02:59.012 Yeah, that's right. 03:00.473 --> 03:09.774 Anyway, you know, no disrespect, Mr Bacon, but I wasn't aware of your secret half-hour in there, so sorry, there's no crossover. 03:10.154 --> 03:11.555 Everyone can have a secret half-hour, right? 03:11.715 --> 03:18.956 The thing about ours is that we've got a special name for it, and that name is Black Squadron, and they have a special command, I bet he doesn't have special commands on his secret half-hour. 03:19.436 --> 03:21.776 So what's the command for our special secret squadron? 03:22.016 --> 03:24.617 Stand by Black Squadron, your command this morning is... 03:25.214 --> 03:25.634 Freeze! 03:46.389 --> 03:49.431 That would have been tough as well, because you would have wanted to have been grooving. 03:49.911 --> 03:50.971 Was that correct, Grammar? 03:51.092 --> 03:51.832 It's a big challenge. 03:51.872 --> 04:01.317 You would have wanted to have been grooving throughout the length of Bat for Lashes there, grooving around to her Kate Bush style fun fest there. 04:01.397 --> 04:01.637 Yeah. 04:01.937 --> 04:18.930 And don't forget that skill of staying very still is added into your kit bag, the Black Squadron Kit Bag, together with the ability to carry an egg in your mouth without smashing it, having an easily accessible slice of bread, the ability to conceal yourself, suddenly camouflage yourself. 04:18.990 --> 04:22.993 Sure, the talent for writing Black Squadron across your face. 04:23.654 --> 04:28.217 All those highly honed skills go into your kit bag ready for the big operation. 04:28.237 --> 04:28.377 Yeah. 04:29.582 --> 04:36.109 Now, we should also say we still get messages from people saying they're confused as to which one is Adam and which one is Joe. 04:36.529 --> 04:38.411 Do we get panned on the live show as well? 04:39.052 --> 04:40.413 Adam is on the left, right? 04:40.533 --> 04:42.975 It's the same way that we appear on photographs. 04:42.995 --> 04:43.936 It's the same way we vote. 04:43.956 --> 04:46.419 Adam's on the left. 04:46.559 --> 04:47.660 Joe's on the far right. 04:47.680 --> 04:49.662 Kyle, Joe! 04:51.844 --> 04:53.825 So that's how you recognize us. 04:53.925 --> 04:54.205 Okay. 04:54.625 --> 05:09.549 Now we have a feature in our podcast, which is called retro text donation, which is a place where people can send in their messages throughout the week on the previous week's text donation subject. 05:09.629 --> 05:09.869 Right? 05:10.109 --> 05:10.369 Yeah. 05:10.569 --> 05:12.830 So later on this show, we're going to have text donation. 05:12.850 --> 05:15.411 We haven't, we won't unveil the subject just yet. 05:15.931 --> 05:18.012 We haven't decided on it is what I was going to say. 05:18.052 --> 05:18.932 Nothing under the veil. 05:19.312 --> 05:21.454 We'll put something under the veil later. 05:21.494 --> 05:25.116 We'll find something to stuff under the veil for later's text the nation subject. 05:25.136 --> 05:26.277 Later's text the nation subject. 05:26.297 --> 05:27.558 That's how kids speak, that's good man. 05:27.638 --> 05:28.518 People understand you now. 05:28.758 --> 05:36.063 But in our podcast we've got retro text the nation and last week it was about disgusting personal habits and there was an avalanche of communications. 05:36.784 --> 05:41.027 So many that we won't be able to, you know, we'll only be able to fit a fraction into the podcast. 05:41.067 --> 05:42.868 So I was going to by way of a tease 05:43.428 --> 05:47.551 for a feature and for the podcast itself, which you should really download if you've never done so. 05:47.631 --> 05:49.332 It's free, it comes out on a Monday evening. 05:50.553 --> 05:52.214 Here's a couple of messages we got. 05:52.234 --> 05:56.617 A little sneeze, that was exciting. 05:57.357 --> 05:58.298 Ah, that was really good. 05:58.318 --> 05:58.918 Was that enjoyable? 05:58.938 --> 06:00.319 Yeah, that's given me some pep. 06:00.539 --> 06:01.980 You really contained that one as well. 06:02.000 --> 06:06.883 Well, I thought I was going to do a big build-up, but then it happened prematurely, a premature sneezulation. 06:07.083 --> 06:08.644 It's just wonderful, isn't it? 06:08.824 --> 06:09.985 Sneezed all over the shop. 06:10.365 --> 06:11.086 No one expected it. 06:11.306 --> 06:14.049 And you didn't, nothing came out as well, which was nice. 06:14.109 --> 06:14.750 Yeah, that was good. 06:14.770 --> 06:15.491 That's respectful. 06:15.551 --> 06:19.835 He'll want to spread the swine flu any more than it already is. 06:20.316 --> 06:22.478 Here's a message from Darren Hawley. 06:23.239 --> 06:32.209 He said, and this is a cautionary tale for anyone who plays around in their ears, because we got a lot of messages from people doing disgusting things in their ear area, in their earia. 06:32.829 --> 06:37.091 Hi chaps, I heard you talk about people cleaning their ears with car keys. 06:37.432 --> 06:44.415 Well, throughout Asia there's a common practice of ear wax excavation using specially designed wooden implements. 06:44.815 --> 06:47.457 Many have cute anime characters on the blunt end. 06:47.797 --> 06:50.978 Mine, supplied to me by my Japanese wife, has a penguin. 06:51.298 --> 06:57.922 A few years ago I was getting a bit carried away with the dig and was horrified to find blood dripping from my ear. 06:58.482 --> 07:02.626 At the hospital, A&E, I showed the doctor the waxy penguin that I'd done it with. 07:04.448 --> 07:09.393 He took one look at the tool, shook his head and muttered, horrific. 07:09.593 --> 07:17.862 Anyway, I never fully recovered from this incident and I developed benign positional vertigo, which is still with me five years later. 07:18.262 --> 07:20.004 Initially, I was permanently giddy. 07:20.284 --> 07:21.125 Nowadays, it's better. 07:21.365 --> 07:26.590 just limited to me getting rollercoaster dizzy when I tilt my head forwards for more than a few minutes. 07:26.990 --> 07:31.574 A problem when taking long train journeys as I always fall asleep and nearly fall off the seat. 07:31.694 --> 07:37.319 The lesson is, no matter how tempting, don't stick anything larger than your elbow in your ear! 07:38.139 --> 07:47.385 Your mother always told you that's from Darren Hawley I mean that's very important because in the past I used to have a good dig around with a little cotton bud there hmm It's fun. 07:47.766 --> 08:03.476 You know you shouldn't do you should be really I mean this is a serious point well It is very serious as we've seen from you really shouldn't stuff things in the old years Definitely not nothing in there no matter how tempting it seems because sometimes you can it's very tempting I personally have got a bit of a wax blockage and go. 08:03.756 --> 08:04.657 What do you do about it? 08:04.677 --> 08:05.057 Then you get it? 08:05.097 --> 08:07.699 Well my lady has identified it yeah 08:08.440 --> 08:23.116 by shining a torch down there and I'm gonna have to put some of that stuff in it that those drops in it you just have to be patient be patient put the drops in regularly soften it liquidize it let it let it come out of its own accord no way should you forage for it no 08:23.436 --> 08:24.797 By the way, you read that very well. 08:25.157 --> 08:25.697 Thanks very much. 08:25.717 --> 08:28.339 I think James and I were both a little nervous when you started reading it. 08:28.819 --> 08:31.220 Because often when you read... A long message. 08:31.240 --> 08:36.723 Text the nations in the record after the live broadcast, you have some slippy do's. 08:37.804 --> 08:38.184 Don't you? 08:38.324 --> 08:39.405 Some slippy whoopsies. 08:39.985 --> 08:41.626 And James has to do the katiwatties. 08:43.070 --> 08:43.731 piece it together. 08:43.791 --> 08:48.715 So both James and I were shooting little looks at each other as you launched into that. 08:48.835 --> 08:49.776 What's he doing? 08:50.837 --> 08:51.798 But you did very well. 08:51.938 --> 08:52.078 Thanks. 08:52.098 --> 08:53.640 You got all the way through dyslexia boy. 08:53.660 --> 08:56.663 That was one of the most patronising and offensive speeches I've ever heard. 08:56.683 --> 08:57.003 Thanks a lot. 08:57.063 --> 09:02.968 I'm going to sell the film of you reading that to working titles as I sort of can do my left foot style. 09:05.351 --> 09:09.337 My guest on Oprah today is a plucky young man who managed to read 09:20.038 --> 09:20.879 So what an achievement. 09:20.899 --> 09:21.839 That's exciting, isn't it? 09:21.999 --> 09:22.219 Yeah. 09:22.440 --> 09:23.860 Here's a free play for you listeners. 09:24.181 --> 09:25.922 This is some late period Bowie. 09:26.302 --> 09:34.227 And this is, I mean, I thought it was all over for Bowie until the album Reality came out a few years back and there was this lovely song contained therein. 09:34.267 --> 09:36.028 It's got some fairly cheesy production on it. 09:36.208 --> 09:36.388 What? 09:36.588 --> 09:43.092 I don't want to be offensive to anyone involved by saying that, but the fact remains it is a little bit on the cheesy side, some of the plonky synth sounds. 09:43.433 --> 09:44.353 But what a lovely song. 09:44.393 --> 09:45.634 This is David Bowie with Days. 09:45.954 --> 09:49.196 There's a little bit of empire of the sun for you there, listeners, with We Are The People. 09:49.456 --> 09:50.316 They're Australian, right? 09:50.476 --> 09:50.757 Yeah. 09:50.797 --> 09:51.537 Yeah, there you go. 09:51.597 --> 09:53.198 So hence the brilliant accent. 09:53.338 --> 09:54.759 Yeah, that was very good. 09:54.879 --> 10:02.963 Listen, we were talking before that about Mr Bowie, and I think we were talking last week about how excited we'd be to interview him or speak to him. 10:03.323 --> 10:08.125 It's been a sort of goal of ours since we started our sort of half-baked media career. 10:08.165 --> 10:08.846 It's a lifelong mission. 10:09.526 --> 10:17.950 Now, when I was 14 and holidaying in Austria or Switzerland, I can't remember exactly where he lives, isn't it? 10:18.010 --> 10:23.173 Right, a little village called Veve or something, near Lake Geneva. 10:23.193 --> 10:23.973 So where would that be? 10:25.854 --> 10:31.337 Yeah, that is around there, that's around that area, around that part of the world. 10:31.857 --> 10:37.820 Anyway, me and my sister went to try and find him because he used to have the house next to Charlie Chaplin's widow, Una. 10:38.340 --> 10:38.520 Yeah. 10:38.840 --> 10:39.881 Is she called Una, Chaplin? 10:40.141 --> 10:40.701 I don't know. 10:40.801 --> 10:41.961 Stop asking me for facts. 10:41.981 --> 10:42.821 There's Bowie facts. 10:43.342 --> 10:45.642 Anyway, we, you know, we did the whole fan thing. 10:45.682 --> 10:50.664 We were trying, we were like trying to search around and hang around his house and maybe get a glimpse of the man. 10:50.904 --> 10:52.084 He wasn't even there, I don't think. 10:52.104 --> 10:53.685 I'm not even sure if he still has that house. 10:54.285 --> 10:56.246 But we were certainly very stalkerish. 10:56.307 --> 10:57.567 What have you written on that piece of paper? 10:57.607 --> 10:59.549 Find out where Lake Geneva is. 10:59.649 --> 11:00.589 Oh, to make us look better. 11:00.709 --> 11:01.070 Yeah. 11:01.250 --> 11:04.712 So you thought you were going to step in there and go, oh, I just remembered it was... I didn't think. 11:05.392 --> 11:05.793 I knew. 11:05.853 --> 11:06.533 That was your plan. 11:06.573 --> 11:07.394 That was my plan. 11:07.854 --> 11:12.297 Anyway, so the fact is, listeners, that we are Bowie obsessives, you know. 11:12.777 --> 11:15.899 I mean, pretty high level Bowie obsessives, I would say. 11:15.939 --> 11:17.180 It means a great deal to us. 11:17.260 --> 11:18.281 And... Switzerland. 11:18.741 --> 11:19.582 Switzerland. 11:19.942 --> 11:20.843 See, I was right the first time. 11:20.943 --> 11:22.023 So was I. Austria. 11:23.444 --> 11:26.467 We've just got some self-doubt, which is what makes us so human. 11:26.647 --> 11:29.410 We know these things, but we just have that, you know, doubt. 11:29.730 --> 11:34.334 Only an absolute idiot-hole-stroke-fun-face would think it was in Switzerland. 11:35.675 --> 11:39.999 Anyway, so we got an email, though, an exciting email the other day from a Bowie insider. 11:40.299 --> 11:41.860 Yeah, we think it could be Kogel. 11:42.020 --> 11:43.462 Kogel from Labyrinth. 11:44.142 --> 11:50.884 It says, it's because James, our producer, got in touch with Kogel to see whether we could get access to Mr Bowie. 11:51.645 --> 11:56.987 And Kogel sent the following email, David Bowie is definitely a fan of the pair of them. 11:57.647 --> 12:06.010 In fact, they might not know this, but they came within a whisker of interviewing the man himself at Glastonbury in 2000, where we did the coverage for BBC. 12:07.146 --> 12:08.548 3 or was it still called BBC Choice? 12:08.668 --> 12:25.203 BBC Choice as it was then yeah and Bowie was headlining that year of course Long story short David decided he wanted to do an interview right at the last minute before going on stage he was given the choice of Adam and Joe or Joe Wiley and he chose Adam and Joe but then he decided not to do the interview at all Shame 12:26.795 --> 12:32.118 Anyway, Kogel says, I would love to get David to discuss the various merits of Stephen. 12:32.799 --> 12:36.701 But sad to say he hasn't done any interviews for the past five years, so it's unlikely. 12:36.781 --> 12:37.702 That's true, isn't it? 12:37.782 --> 12:38.903 He's been out of the spotlight. 12:39.003 --> 12:40.203 He's based in New York. 12:41.684 --> 12:42.845 He's an elusive hobgoblin. 12:43.185 --> 12:43.926 He really is. 12:44.766 --> 12:47.368 But he must do interviews when he puts an album out, mustn't he? 12:47.968 --> 12:48.949 He must do promotion. 12:49.009 --> 12:51.970 If anyone in the world doesn't need to, I would say it was Bowie. 12:52.350 --> 12:54.051 Plus he lives on the internet, he loves the internet. 12:54.571 --> 12:58.613 What would we, I mean it would be an easy interview for him because we'd both just pass out and be sick. 12:59.353 --> 13:01.274 There wouldn't be any actual questions, would there? 13:01.554 --> 13:02.714 It would be an awful interview. 13:02.754 --> 13:05.976 Can you imagine how awful it would be for him to be interviewed by us? 13:06.716 --> 13:09.317 How humiliating and tedious. 13:09.617 --> 13:17.581 I mean how many questions about labyrinth can one man answer in the 10 minutes we'd be given him with him? 13:18.561 --> 13:22.423 It would be dreadful if he's got any sense at all he's going to keep us at arm's length. 13:22.883 --> 13:28.105 When you threw the baby in the air where you frightened you would not catch it properly or you fall down? 13:28.462 --> 13:33.223 Did you artificially stuff your packet to make it look larger or is that your real packet in the tights? 13:33.263 --> 13:34.443 Those are the questions you see. 13:34.503 --> 13:35.984 Those are the two tentpole questions. 13:36.284 --> 13:39.124 Why do you not sing Dance Baby Dance at your concert so much? 13:40.365 --> 13:40.945 Turn baby turn. 13:40.965 --> 13:41.485 I've got blank. 13:42.905 --> 13:43.826 You see that's what would happen. 13:43.846 --> 13:44.246 I've frozen up. 13:44.286 --> 13:46.166 Three questions that would be it. 13:46.226 --> 13:47.206 Cornish goes blank. 13:47.226 --> 13:48.287 Three questions about lab. 13:48.327 --> 13:49.687 Buxton tries to steal something. 13:51.658 --> 13:53.079 and punch him to get away. 13:55.141 --> 13:58.765 So he'd sneak out of his apartment trying to kiss him on. 14:00.827 --> 14:01.407 Security! 14:01.847 --> 14:02.348 Security! 14:02.688 --> 14:03.389 Security! 14:03.409 --> 14:05.351 Waz, waz, waz. 14:06.532 --> 14:08.093 Get the guards up here immediately. 14:08.173 --> 14:09.795 I don't know how these two girls go. 14:09.815 --> 14:10.896 Wap, wap, wap. 14:10.916 --> 14:11.817 No, it's confusing. 14:11.837 --> 14:13.138 They all make the same noise. 14:13.278 --> 14:13.578 Do they? 14:13.698 --> 14:15.040 He gets appliances. 14:15.160 --> 14:16.181 They all go waz up. 14:16.801 --> 14:18.344 was, oh, I think the dinner's ready. 14:18.424 --> 14:19.425 Now that's the doorbell, sir. 14:19.826 --> 14:21.509 Oh, was, is that the phone? 14:21.709 --> 14:23.071 Was, is that security? 14:23.171 --> 14:23.772 Never gonna happen now. 14:23.792 --> 14:25.535 Was, was, is that the bathtub now? 14:25.755 --> 14:27.037 Oh, I don't know what's going on in here. 14:27.057 --> 14:29.641 Kogel's probably listening and now he's struck us off the list. 14:30.302 --> 14:31.745 Bacon's gonna get there before we do. 14:32.625 --> 14:33.706 Oh, the humiliation. 14:34.206 --> 14:35.847 Absolute abject humiliation. 14:35.867 --> 14:36.988 You know what we've done now? 14:37.008 --> 14:37.388 What? 14:37.608 --> 14:41.030 We've rambled so much that we've not got time to play a whole song before the news. 14:41.410 --> 14:42.411 There's a minute and a half. 14:42.691 --> 14:44.192 Oh, God. 14:44.232 --> 14:45.332 What a 30. 14:45.372 --> 14:46.453 Let's just push the news back. 14:46.573 --> 14:47.433 Can't we push the news back? 14:47.453 --> 14:48.414 Let's have some grizzly bear. 14:48.434 --> 14:52.936 This is two weeks. 14:52.956 --> 14:53.737 Stand down. 14:53.837 --> 14:54.977 Your work is done. 14:54.997 --> 14:57.899 You've earned yourself a nice warm bath. 14:58.539 --> 15:00.400 And maybe a nice little bun. 15:04.876 --> 15:08.357 She's like someone's filthy auntie, isn't she? 15:08.997 --> 15:09.637 Sexy auntie? 15:09.997 --> 15:11.818 Yeah, but sexy stroke filthy. 15:12.758 --> 15:13.738 Yeah. 15:13.958 --> 15:14.879 She is, is she? 15:14.959 --> 15:16.159 I'm not saying dirty. 15:16.199 --> 15:17.439 I'm not saying she hasn't washed. 15:18.700 --> 15:20.380 I'm sure she's very hygienic. 15:20.780 --> 15:21.080 Yeah. 15:21.480 --> 15:23.981 But I should stop talking about it, shouldn't I? 15:24.001 --> 15:26.201 I think you should carry on, but maybe later. 15:26.281 --> 15:28.502 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music. 15:28.522 --> 15:29.842 Thank you so much for joining us. 15:30.142 --> 15:31.083 Sorry about the weather. 15:31.323 --> 15:32.383 I mean, we really tried. 15:33.183 --> 15:34.244 Very hard to do something about it. 15:34.284 --> 15:35.004 It's going to be okay though. 15:35.044 --> 15:35.684 It's a cosy weekend. 15:35.804 --> 15:37.085 No, it's not a cosy weekend. 15:37.105 --> 15:37.405 It's a weekend. 15:37.425 --> 15:39.786 What I mean is it's a weekend for wrapping up warm inside. 15:39.806 --> 15:40.267 Staying in. 15:40.487 --> 15:41.447 Yeah, playing board games. 15:41.647 --> 15:43.708 All those things you've saved for a rainy day. 15:44.069 --> 15:44.329 Yeah. 15:44.349 --> 15:45.069 You can do those this weekend. 15:45.089 --> 15:45.629 It's going to be lovely. 15:46.070 --> 15:53.653 Listen, it's Text the Nation time in a second, listeners, but I'd like to read you an email we got from a gentleman called Barney Bristow concerning last week's Text the Nation. 15:53.673 --> 15:54.394 Barney Bristow! 15:54.714 --> 15:56.835 Dear Adam and Jo, I absolutely love your show and podcast. 15:56.855 --> 15:58.296 I look forward to listening to them every week. 15:58.576 --> 16:00.337 I've never felt the urge to write until now. 16:00.917 --> 16:07.201 Suffice to say that the disgusting habit text the nation subject this week is really scraping the bottom of the barrel. 16:07.521 --> 16:09.323 He means last week, of course, big time. 16:09.763 --> 16:13.205 Not funny, generally pretty disgusting, and just juvenile. 16:13.485 --> 16:15.046 Sorry, but that's what I think. 16:15.587 --> 16:19.209 If you're struggling for ideas, why not go back to asking listeners for subjects? 16:19.589 --> 16:20.190 Do I have any? 16:20.510 --> 16:21.410 No, don't ask me. 16:21.751 --> 16:25.673 What I do know, brackets, why not have a break from the whole featured for a few weeks? 16:25.733 --> 16:27.354 Well, some new ideas are gathered. 16:27.374 --> 16:27.995 Just a thought. 16:28.635 --> 16:34.060 Just a minor criticism of an otherwise great show that brackets generally never fails to make me laugh. 16:34.481 --> 16:36.503 Thanks and best wishes, Barney Bristow. 16:36.883 --> 16:42.168 So he's being very, he's sort of stroking with the left hand and then slapping with the right one. 16:42.308 --> 16:44.030 I thought he was pretty much punching with both. 16:44.330 --> 16:44.671 Really? 16:45.151 --> 16:55.781 I like the way that every time he does a compliment such as just a minor criticism of an otherwise great show that brackets generally, you know, he's being very conditional about his praise. 16:56.221 --> 16:59.083 People get very critical at strange moments. 16:59.284 --> 17:05.629 Personally, I enjoyed last week's Texanation very much, although I got in terrible trouble because I talked about my wife in it. 17:05.669 --> 17:07.411 You don't mention what I was saying. 17:07.671 --> 17:08.892 And did she hear? 17:09.072 --> 17:09.652 It got back to her. 17:09.672 --> 17:13.974 You know what, I felt so bad that I told her because I didn't want her to hear from someone else. 17:14.014 --> 17:25.320 So I said, listen, I talked about you in the show this week just to... I sort of raised it in a very matter of fact way, hoping she wouldn't really listen or hear what I was saying. 17:25.820 --> 17:26.440 She got upset. 17:26.560 --> 17:27.481 You craved exposure. 17:27.501 --> 17:28.441 The guilt was too much. 17:28.701 --> 17:29.502 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 17:29.642 --> 17:30.142 It was too much. 17:30.162 --> 17:31.003 I didn't want to get busted. 17:31.903 --> 17:40.786 But but then also it would have been fine, you know, but then during the week, like a couple of her mutual friends said, well, I heard Adam talking about you on the show. 17:40.826 --> 17:41.886 That was pretty disgusting. 17:42.766 --> 17:44.327 And so that wasn't good. 17:44.567 --> 17:47.247 Thanks a lot, disloyal friends. 17:47.828 --> 17:49.688 Can you really blame anybody but yourself? 17:50.328 --> 17:54.950 I did say, please, I did beg people not to talk to her about it. 17:55.030 --> 17:55.230 Right. 17:56.170 --> 17:56.450 Right? 17:56.610 --> 17:57.271 So it's their fault. 17:57.691 --> 18:00.293 So it's their fault for disobeying the bag. 18:00.333 --> 18:00.833 That's right. 18:00.873 --> 18:01.394 That's correct. 18:01.454 --> 18:01.694 Good. 18:02.314 --> 18:03.875 Well, Barney, yeah, there we go. 18:04.216 --> 18:11.981 We're sorry that it disgusted you and you think that it was juvenile and you think that we're scraping the bottom of the barrel, but it's kind of true. 18:12.501 --> 18:14.463 It was disgusting, but in a fun way. 18:15.143 --> 18:16.725 I don't agree with scraping the bottom of the barrel. 18:16.745 --> 18:20.728 I thought it was absolutely nudging the top of a golden barrel. 18:20.748 --> 18:24.632 How's the best text the nation ever? 18:24.732 --> 18:27.114 We got a very good response from people on that one. 18:27.275 --> 18:29.697 Well, here's a new one that hopefully might be an improvement for you, Barney. 18:29.717 --> 18:30.978 Are we going to have a jingle to kick it off? 18:31.038 --> 18:35.683 Are we going to have the traditional jingle or some kind of exciting... Text the nation classic jingle. 18:41.311 --> 18:43.253 What if I don't want to? 18:43.333 --> 18:44.335 But I'm using email. 18:44.495 --> 18:45.276 Is that a problem? 18:48.460 --> 18:52.746 So this week's Text the Nation listeners is all about personal superstitions. 18:52.786 --> 18:56.991 This is little games you play in your head, fatalistic games. 18:57.912 --> 19:01.235 kind of decrees you'll make as to how you'll fare that day. 19:01.696 --> 19:04.138 I'll explain it by reading a couple of emails we got a few weeks ago. 19:04.518 --> 19:06.340 This one from a listener called Jo Falcon. 19:06.860 --> 19:09.483 She says, I listen to your podcast on my way to work. 19:09.903 --> 19:13.626 I always end up humming whichever was the last jingle I hear for the rest of the day. 19:13.986 --> 19:17.950 I have my own little superstition regarding your, but which one is the best jingle? 19:18.230 --> 19:18.991 Do you know that jingle? 19:19.011 --> 19:20.572 That's the jingle we use on the podcast. 19:20.592 --> 19:21.493 We have a jingle that goes 19:23.094 --> 19:24.355 Adam is really brilliant. 19:24.495 --> 19:25.815 Joe is really, really brilliant. 19:25.915 --> 19:27.116 But which one is the best? 19:27.156 --> 19:28.916 And then sometimes it goes, it's Adam. 19:29.116 --> 19:30.477 Other times it goes, it's Joe. 19:30.977 --> 19:38.760 So Joe Falcon listens to that and depending on what the ending is, she will kind of rate her expectations for the day. 19:39.300 --> 19:43.222 If it's Joe who's the best, then it'll be a good day, as that's my name too. 19:43.602 --> 19:46.543 If it's Adam, then I'm destined to have a terrible day. 19:46.583 --> 19:49.424 That doesn't reflect very well on you, but it's just random. 19:50.044 --> 19:52.006 Okay, and this is the kind of thing we're talking about. 19:52.106 --> 19:59.033 Little random things that happen in your day and you will ascribe a sort of hugely important meaning to them. 19:59.333 --> 20:00.975 Like reading the runes, you know what I mean? 20:01.195 --> 20:02.376 Or reading your horoscope. 20:02.617 --> 20:03.037 Exactly. 20:03.077 --> 20:04.839 Here's another one from Josh Pappenheim. 20:05.559 --> 20:09.362 You say that in a dismissive way because you think it's completely meaningless. 20:09.562 --> 20:09.702 Yeah. 20:10.002 --> 20:10.503 Yeah, okay. 20:10.783 --> 20:10.963 Good. 20:11.363 --> 20:15.826 I just wanted to make sure I got that correct for the following two hours and 20 minutes. 20:16.527 --> 20:17.827 Here's one from Joe Pappenheim. 20:18.068 --> 20:22.090 While crossing the road, I realised that I never step on double yellow lines. 20:22.471 --> 20:28.615 I'll even go to the trouble to step very carefully in between the lines, even if it means stumbling and looking quite stupid. 20:29.295 --> 20:34.699 Maybe you could see, through the marvellous medium of Texanation, what other strange and awkward compulsions people have in their lives. 20:34.999 --> 20:36.320 So that's the same kind of thing. 20:36.540 --> 20:36.740 Yeah. 20:36.981 --> 20:42.465 It's reading enormous significance into some random little event in your day. 20:43.165 --> 20:45.066 It's a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder. 20:45.126 --> 20:45.507 Do you think? 20:45.967 --> 20:47.368 No, I'm joking. 20:47.488 --> 20:48.529 I personally do it a lot. 20:48.589 --> 20:58.096 If I'm in the kitchen and I'm grooving to some music and I flip a spatula really fast into the air, a thought will pass through my head that'll go, right, if I catch this by the handle, 20:58.556 --> 21:05.398 I'm my life's gonna be a success if I catch it by the by the spatula end I Should give up your whole life. 21:05.418 --> 21:24.525 Okay, sometimes sometimes it might be the day Sometimes I don't have the time to to think through the premise that quickly So when I tend to go for the whole life when things go wrong then in your life like years later if you fight blame it on the spatula By the handle and not the other end the spatula end spatula 21:25.385 --> 21:26.705 You know, that is exactly what I think. 21:27.165 --> 21:32.847 If only I should never have stepped on those pavement cracks back then in July. 21:33.627 --> 21:35.547 Otherwise, things would have gone right for me now. 21:36.067 --> 21:36.347 Yes. 21:36.467 --> 21:37.608 Is that what these people are thinking? 21:37.688 --> 21:37.988 Yes. 21:38.208 --> 21:38.748 No, it's not. 21:39.068 --> 21:40.348 But I understand it, though. 21:40.388 --> 21:43.029 It's nice to... What is the compulsion there? 21:43.049 --> 21:43.989 What are they trying to do? 21:44.629 --> 21:52.271 Are they trying to make their lives more exciting or are they trying to... It's just admitting that there is a certain randomness to the world, right? 21:52.391 --> 21:52.591 Right. 21:52.751 --> 22:01.016 And it's sort of like the, what's that theory called about, you know, a butterfly lands on a plant and the sun blows up? 22:01.036 --> 22:01.677 A butterfly effect. 22:02.337 --> 22:02.757 That's it. 22:02.878 --> 22:03.958 It's like that wicked movie. 22:03.978 --> 22:05.479 It was invented by Ashton Kutcher. 22:05.619 --> 22:06.160 There you go. 22:06.520 --> 22:07.621 It's that kind of thinking. 22:08.181 --> 22:12.664 Which admittedly, it's not brilliantly disciplined, rational or scientific thinking. 22:12.764 --> 22:13.204 It's not rational. 22:13.224 --> 22:17.147 But some of us, slightly less rational than Dr. Buckalloid. 22:17.387 --> 22:19.048 If such a thing can be imagined. 22:19.108 --> 22:20.829 I am one of the most rational people on this planet. 22:20.869 --> 22:21.129 You are. 22:21.730 --> 22:21.990 Yeah. 22:22.650 --> 22:24.651 Emotionally centered and rational man. 22:25.752 --> 22:27.373 Some of us play with that kind of thing, you know? 22:27.393 --> 22:28.274 What are you implying? 22:29.034 --> 22:30.315 You get angry sometimes. 22:30.555 --> 22:32.036 Yeah, but in a very rational way. 22:32.096 --> 22:32.656 Yeah, it's true. 22:33.097 --> 22:37.439 Anyway, if you have the same kind of thing going on in your head, text us, 64046. 22:38.640 --> 22:42.762 And don't forget, texts will be charged at your standard message rate. 22:43.343 --> 22:44.543 It's nice to read that kind of thing. 22:44.704 --> 22:45.904 Makes me feel like Ant and Dec. 22:45.964 --> 22:46.565 Exactly. 22:46.825 --> 22:49.466 The kings, the controversial kings of sick TV. 22:49.787 --> 22:51.628 Here's Chuck Berry with You Never Can Tell. 22:52.228 --> 22:54.969 Quentin Tarantino there, with You Never Can Tell. 22:55.209 --> 23:08.294 You know, I was mad when that, obviously that was Chuck Berry, not Quentin Tarantino, but Tarantino famously used it in pulp fiction, and I was sort of angry when he did so, you know, because it was a song that I felt that I owned before then. 23:08.974 --> 23:12.115 I thought, I'm a Chuck Berry fan and not many people know about this song. 23:12.175 --> 23:14.956 Obviously loads of people know Chuck Berry and know his work, but 23:15.857 --> 23:18.400 It wasn't as well known as it is now, thanks to that movie. 23:18.640 --> 23:23.206 And I was very angry when it came out, and he stole my special song. 23:23.927 --> 23:27.812 And everyone thought, oh, this is an ironical oldie song that I know about now. 23:27.872 --> 23:29.594 And I thought, no, that's my ironical oldie song. 23:29.614 --> 23:30.455 That's often the way, isn't it? 23:30.475 --> 23:32.978 It's like when a song you like gets used in an advert. 23:33.238 --> 23:34.360 That can be very annoying. 23:34.840 --> 23:45.792 Mmm, or you know sometimes that snobbishness happens on the level of like if you recommended me a really good album I might not be interested because you've put your ears all over it. 23:45.812 --> 23:46.432 Do you know what I mean? 23:46.753 --> 23:47.974 You've rubbed your ears all over it 23:48.624 --> 23:49.645 Wait, snobbishness? 23:49.966 --> 23:50.226 Yeah. 23:50.746 --> 23:51.647 Not snobbishness. 23:51.667 --> 23:52.208 Isn't that what it is? 23:52.228 --> 23:53.349 Well, that's what I'm talking about. 23:53.950 --> 23:54.711 Sophistication. 23:54.791 --> 23:55.311 Yeah, righteousness. 23:55.331 --> 23:55.852 Possessiveness. 23:55.972 --> 23:56.833 Righteous, sophisticated. 23:56.873 --> 23:57.253 Not possessed. 23:57.273 --> 23:57.694 Righteous. 23:57.774 --> 23:59.596 He's the very majority of words. 23:59.816 --> 24:01.378 Yeah. 24:01.858 --> 24:03.240 It's theft. 24:03.700 --> 24:04.581 Tarantino theft. 24:04.621 --> 24:05.802 He stole your record. 24:05.822 --> 24:07.564 He stole my Chuck Berry record. 24:07.584 --> 24:08.205 He's a culture vulture. 24:08.445 --> 24:08.966 He is, yeah. 24:09.766 --> 24:15.370 Listen, it's exciting for Michael Jackson fans because he's playing some big gigs at the O2 Arena. 24:15.410 --> 24:16.310 Have you heard about them? 24:16.650 --> 24:17.051 Big gigs. 24:17.351 --> 24:18.652 It's his big comeback tour. 24:19.812 --> 24:20.813 Yeah, have you heard about it? 24:21.013 --> 24:23.134 Well, he's... is he still going ahead with them? 24:23.154 --> 24:24.335 I thought he was... Yes, he is. 24:24.875 --> 24:29.598 What he's done is he's delayed the first two weeks of concerts because he's not ready yet. 24:30.178 --> 24:36.302 Because the spectacle is going to be so extraordinary he needs more time to practice with his Prancer dancers. 24:36.522 --> 24:37.843 I thought he was ill, poor chap. 24:37.923 --> 24:38.744 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. 24:38.944 --> 24:41.706 He's extremely physically fit. 24:41.866 --> 24:43.887 Doctor say he's unusually fit for a man of his age. 24:44.307 --> 24:46.589 He's in peak physical condition, depending on who you listen to. 24:47.069 --> 24:48.830 Some say he's in peak physical condition. 24:49.411 --> 24:52.673 Others say he's very close to death. 24:54.054 --> 24:54.514 So not so. 24:54.574 --> 24:54.854 It's true. 24:54.874 --> 24:55.955 I'm giving both sides of the story. 24:55.975 --> 24:56.916 It's hard to know who to believe. 24:56.956 --> 24:58.297 It depends what tabloid you read. 24:58.397 --> 24:58.577 Right. 24:59.457 --> 25:01.559 So there's a lot of speculation about these big gigs. 25:01.999 --> 25:06.282 I feel the same sense of excitement that I did when those two men announced that they'd captured and killed Bigfoot. 25:07.359 --> 25:12.923 It just seems too improbable to believe that he will actually make it on stage and deliver an extraordinary concert. 25:13.264 --> 25:13.784 Do you know what I mean? 25:13.824 --> 25:17.908 It seems almost sort of weirdly impossible and fantastic that he would do such a thing. 25:18.148 --> 25:20.050 Yes, plus he's, I mean he's a living legend. 25:20.230 --> 25:25.714 But at the same time, at the same time the promises the promoters are making are getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. 25:25.734 --> 25:26.455 What sort of things? 25:27.396 --> 25:28.257 That he's gonna sing. 25:28.837 --> 25:47.731 and dance you know that's insane there's ridiculous promises and he's gonna do two shows on a sunday he's gonna do a three o'clock and a seven o'clock and a seven o'clock is he really he's gonna do a matter yeah like a kind of vegas like a proper vegas residency wow and he's his shows happen what every other day for a year or something non-stop 25:48.491 --> 25:50.993 Again, I'm not fully informed, but it's something like that. 25:51.633 --> 25:54.135 And they're selling tickets, very expensive tickets, hand over fist. 25:54.395 --> 26:09.484 But now anybody, any of his, you know, diehard Jacko fans who bought tickets for the first two weeks, their tickets have been bumped almost six months or something into like early next spring, next year, March next year. 26:09.784 --> 26:15.528 And now they've released tickets to new purchasers that are actually for dates before that date. 26:15.928 --> 26:16.709 That's confusing. 26:16.729 --> 26:22.177 It is confusing and maddening for people who've bought tickets because suddenly they're thinking, nah, I shouldn't have bought the tickets for the early shows. 26:22.577 --> 26:25.081 I should have bought ones now and then I would have gone before. 26:25.101 --> 26:25.641 Do you know what I mean? 26:25.822 --> 26:28.646 But if you can mess with any fans... It's the Jacko Faz. 26:28.686 --> 26:29.507 It's the Jacko Faz. 26:29.527 --> 26:31.549 They'll take nearly anything from their hero, won't they? 26:31.650 --> 26:32.451 If you were Jacko... 26:32.931 --> 26:39.098 And you were a little bit tired, and you were really keen on getting the money, but not quite so keen on doing the gigs. 26:39.198 --> 26:39.458 Yeah. 26:39.798 --> 26:40.820 How would you do it? 26:41.740 --> 26:44.623 Like, I think he's quite likely to have a lookalike up there. 26:45.344 --> 26:45.484 Oh, yes. 26:45.564 --> 26:48.788 With the hat pulled down, there are lots of brilliant Jacko lookalikes. 26:49.068 --> 26:50.289 And people who could do the moves. 26:50.329 --> 26:52.990 Yeah, I would pop a double in there. 26:53.030 --> 26:54.711 I'd have one on standby, wouldn't you? 26:54.931 --> 26:55.631 The Doble. 26:56.071 --> 26:57.812 Of course, that's a brilliant idea. 26:57.952 --> 26:58.753 Well, he's got to do that. 26:58.893 --> 26:59.633 I would mime. 27:00.053 --> 27:00.253 Yeah. 27:00.453 --> 27:02.014 I wouldn't be doing no singing. 27:02.274 --> 27:03.095 Certainly not. 27:03.275 --> 27:04.235 I'd be doing the miming. 27:04.315 --> 27:08.097 I'd maybe do the opening song and the closing song and let the double take care of it. 27:08.257 --> 27:16.500 Well, the thing is, when you've got big gigs as massive as M. Jaco, people aren't going to be close enough to the stage to see what's going on. 27:16.680 --> 27:17.140 Exactly. 27:17.761 --> 27:19.581 Or they'll be looking at the video screens. 27:19.941 --> 27:26.884 You shoot a video with the performance with the real Jaco in close-up, then you sync it with the live show and you have the doobly. 27:27.624 --> 27:28.385 on the live show. 27:28.685 --> 27:29.126 Ka-ching! 27:29.686 --> 27:31.008 Money hand over fist. 27:31.068 --> 27:32.870 Jacko's sitting smoking a fag. 27:33.090 --> 27:33.731 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 27:34.011 --> 27:34.591 In his house. 27:35.152 --> 27:37.454 And the other thing you can do is the gorilla style. 27:37.494 --> 27:40.538 You can have some cartoon holograms and stuff like that. 27:40.578 --> 27:41.659 People love that sort of thing. 27:41.879 --> 27:42.640 I haven't got tickets. 27:42.820 --> 27:43.901 I'm not going to go and see it. 27:44.101 --> 27:44.281 No. 27:44.341 --> 27:50.408 Because I think the whole thing is sort of has the fragrance of one of those secondhand perfume stores on Oxford Street. 27:51.008 --> 27:53.970 You know, where they pop everything in a bin back and then run away. 27:56.592 --> 27:59.494 But I'm really excited to find out what happens. 27:59.514 --> 28:00.975 I mean, the first one's pretty soon, isn't it? 28:01.015 --> 28:01.576 The first gig. 28:01.596 --> 28:02.456 What's going to go down? 28:02.476 --> 28:03.137 I don't know. 28:03.157 --> 28:04.378 Can he possibly sustain it? 28:04.538 --> 28:06.159 Hey, you know who will Bigfoot appear? 28:06.379 --> 28:10.442 You know who might be able to get close to Jacko and just hang out with him and find out more. 28:10.542 --> 28:10.742 Who? 28:10.862 --> 28:11.523 Thomas Dolby. 28:12.253 --> 28:12.513 Why? 28:12.673 --> 28:15.075 Did you know that he went round to Jaco's house once? 28:15.375 --> 28:15.636 No. 28:16.056 --> 28:17.317 Did he tell us this when we met him? 28:17.417 --> 28:17.937 No, I read it. 28:18.077 --> 28:20.499 Andrew Collins wrote about it in Word magazine. 28:20.980 --> 28:21.160 Wow. 28:21.720 --> 28:23.421 And they, what was it? 28:23.441 --> 28:27.284 He was out in LA doing some production work or something. 28:27.945 --> 28:33.069 And he got, oh yeah, it was Steve Barron with whom he did the Thriller video. 28:33.249 --> 28:33.509 Right. 28:33.689 --> 28:36.091 Was work, did a video for Thomas Dolby. 28:36.631 --> 28:37.912 Steve Barron didn't do Thriller, did he? 28:37.952 --> 28:39.433 He did one of the other ones, I think. 28:39.613 --> 28:41.295 Billy Jean, I think. 28:41.375 --> 28:41.535 Right. 28:41.935 --> 28:48.236 Anyway, and Steve Barron also did a video for Thomas Dolby, and somehow he got his telephone number. 28:48.836 --> 28:54.757 And one day, and so when Thomas Dolby got to LA, he just phoned up Jacko and said, hello, Steve Barron gave me your number. 28:55.818 --> 28:56.598 Can I come round? 28:56.838 --> 28:57.918 Jacko said, yes, sure. 28:57.978 --> 28:58.958 Come round, Thomas. 28:59.358 --> 29:01.439 I loved, she blinded me with science. 29:01.659 --> 29:03.579 She blinded me with science. 29:03.939 --> 29:04.979 Come round, Thomas. 29:05.299 --> 29:07.620 We're playing in the Jacuzzi. 29:08.359 --> 29:09.159 It was something like that. 29:09.199 --> 29:17.063 So Thomas Dolby went round and he said Jacko was sat on a big throne in the middle of a massive room and it was all very above board and entertaining. 29:20.924 --> 29:22.185 Anyway, listen, well that's good. 29:22.205 --> 29:22.925 I'd like to read that. 29:22.945 --> 29:24.285 Is that in this month's work? 29:24.305 --> 29:24.846 I think last month. 29:25.846 --> 29:31.210 So, Jackson's obviously one of the greatest pop singers in history, as is Paul McCartney, right? 29:31.711 --> 29:32.691 Imagine if they teamed up. 29:32.751 --> 29:35.393 You get the greatest pop record ever recorded. 29:35.413 --> 29:36.574 She blinded me with science. 29:36.634 --> 29:37.795 That's what it was that way. 29:37.815 --> 29:38.356 You get this. 29:38.396 --> 29:40.257 This is The Girl Is Mine by McCartney and Jackson. 29:40.277 --> 29:45.041 You know, when I said to James I was going to play The Girl Is Mine by McCartney and Jackson, he sent me back an email going, what? 29:45.501 --> 29:46.402 You can't play this. 29:46.422 --> 29:50.044 Because it's like an anathema to six music to play this kind of thing, is it? 29:50.185 --> 29:51.986 It's like punching six music in the face repeatedly. 29:52.006 --> 29:53.227 Well, take this, six music. 29:54.246 --> 29:57.087 That's got one of the best chatty bits of all time. 29:57.107 --> 29:58.728 Certainly has a chatty bit, doesn't it? 29:58.908 --> 29:59.148 Yeah. 29:59.388 --> 30:00.328 Certainly does have one. 30:00.929 --> 30:01.629 Yeah. 30:01.649 --> 30:04.310 So is that an ironical free play there? 30:04.430 --> 30:04.570 Nope. 30:04.690 --> 30:05.010 I love it. 30:05.250 --> 30:05.911 I love that song. 30:05.991 --> 30:07.211 It's such fun to sing along to. 30:07.351 --> 30:17.035 And if you are with your partner or, you know, someone you love or feel kind of ambivalent towards, you can sing the two different parts. 30:17.115 --> 30:21.397 And which one of those giants of music actually got to have the song on their album? 30:22.238 --> 30:23.139 It's on Thriller, isn't it? 30:23.239 --> 30:23.619 Is it? 30:23.659 --> 30:31.589 Yeah, I do believe it was the first single released from Thriller before anyone had heard any of Thriller and it got very bad reviews. 30:31.629 --> 30:39.138 The girl is mine and everybody thought that Thriller was going to be a sort of anodyne, middle of the road, lovey-dovey sellout record because of that single. 30:39.744 --> 30:42.627 And then imagine how they responded when they got the actual album. 30:42.887 --> 30:44.308 The greatest album of all time. 30:45.109 --> 30:47.591 Paul McCartney did a similar thing with a Frog Chorus, didn't he? 30:48.191 --> 30:51.614 Well, you know my problems with McCartney. 30:51.635 --> 30:53.696 The only McCartney album I own is Pipes of Peace. 30:55.618 --> 30:56.719 I don't have any Beatles. 30:57.420 --> 30:59.221 Seriously, I don't have any Beatles records. 30:59.261 --> 31:00.502 All I've got is Pipes of Peace. 31:01.123 --> 31:01.884 And I love it. 31:02.164 --> 31:03.125 Yeah, OK. 31:03.165 --> 31:04.346 Well, here's another band you like. 31:04.826 --> 31:06.908 And this is the Fleet Foxes with Your Protector. 31:07.418 --> 31:10.239 That's Fleet Fox's there with Your Protector. 31:10.359 --> 31:14.221 Are they talking about... What kind of protector are they talking about? 31:14.281 --> 31:16.542 Just like for your iPhone or something? 31:16.562 --> 31:16.982 I don't know. 31:17.042 --> 31:20.764 We were chit-chatting during that record, so I didn't pay attention to the lyrics. 31:21.284 --> 31:28.187 They're at Glastonbury, of course, and if you're not going to Glastonbury, you'll be able to hear them on Six Music's coverage. 31:28.247 --> 31:31.469 Six Music is basically king of coverage this year at Glastonbury. 31:32.089 --> 31:34.551 So that's the place where you should hear. 31:34.831 --> 31:35.351 Oh dear. 31:35.571 --> 31:36.812 The sentence isn't going very well. 31:36.952 --> 31:37.652 Oh it was brilliant. 31:37.672 --> 31:38.073 Do you think? 31:38.093 --> 31:38.773 Oh I loved it. 31:38.913 --> 31:44.376 So that's the place where you should hear the bad the fleet foxes. 31:44.797 --> 31:46.598 Oh I thought it was turning into a song as well. 31:46.638 --> 31:48.259 Yeah well no it was a disaster. 31:49.159 --> 31:50.900 So listen, it's Text-the-Nation Time listeners. 31:51.100 --> 31:54.421 Here's a jingle made up by one of you. 31:54.601 --> 31:55.441 I can't talk, man. 31:55.481 --> 31:55.801 Help me. 31:56.902 --> 31:57.642 What's the guy's name? 31:57.802 --> 31:58.282 Here we go, look. 31:58.422 --> 31:59.082 He's called Oliver. 31:59.483 --> 32:04.424 People have been sending us lots of Text-the-Nation jingles, variations on the Text-the-Nation theme. 32:06.885 --> 32:07.645 Text-the-Nation. 32:08.045 --> 32:11.206 And here's one, an 80s sounding one, from Oliver. 32:11.246 --> 32:15.468 He says, after listening to the podcast this morning, I thought instead of sitting in the sun or talking to people, 32:15.990 --> 32:17.679 I would make a new text-to-nation jingle. 32:17.860 --> 32:18.785 Good decision, Oliver. 32:19.066 --> 32:19.448 Here it is. 32:39.750 --> 32:40.751 You see, this is good stuff. 32:40.811 --> 32:42.072 This is very eighties, isn't it? 32:42.092 --> 32:43.513 It sounds like Visage. 32:43.673 --> 32:44.294 What was his name? 32:44.334 --> 32:45.515 The lead singer of Visage? 32:46.356 --> 32:48.397 Vince Steeves Strange. 32:48.517 --> 32:53.622 I can see a video for this where Vince Lipstick is surprised by his own reflection in mirrors. 32:54.502 --> 32:54.783 You know? 32:54.803 --> 32:56.584 That's the sort of thing that happened in the eighties. 32:56.744 --> 32:59.386 It was that man in the mirror! 32:59.687 --> 33:00.607 He sounds depressed. 33:01.768 --> 33:05.032 There's a lizard crawling on my face. 33:05.553 --> 33:09.338 What is the lizard doing crawling on my face? 33:09.478 --> 33:11.581 It's a bit less enthusiastic than that, isn't it? 33:11.601 --> 33:16.086 It's as if he's been forced to sing, you know, in some sort of music, fascist music camp. 33:16.467 --> 33:17.808 I've dropped my sprouts. 33:18.289 --> 33:19.470 Look at them there. 33:20.603 --> 33:25.186 covered in bits of hair. 33:26.067 --> 33:26.647 That's good though. 33:26.687 --> 33:27.088 Well done. 33:27.188 --> 33:27.908 Is his name Oliver? 33:28.189 --> 33:28.429 Oliver. 33:28.469 --> 33:29.229 Thanks a lot Oliver. 33:29.389 --> 33:30.810 You really knocked that out of the park. 33:32.111 --> 33:33.172 Here are some text donations. 33:33.192 --> 33:35.134 The subject this week is magical thinking. 33:35.174 --> 33:36.214 Someone has said that's what it is. 33:36.274 --> 33:37.135 It's magical thinking. 33:37.495 --> 33:37.655 Is it? 33:37.695 --> 33:38.796 It's how you describe it. 33:38.856 --> 33:39.317 Yeah, it's as if. 33:39.337 --> 33:39.757 Superstition. 33:40.177 --> 33:43.519 Yeah, it's as if the world is imbued with strange magical codes. 33:43.659 --> 33:44.980 It's a nice way of describing it. 33:45.740 --> 33:47.881 Here's one from Chris Glue in Wandsworth. 33:48.462 --> 33:50.843 If I get an easy run to work, e.g. 33:50.883 --> 33:57.147 the bus arrives on time and I get a seat, I get worried then that some bad juju is on its way. 33:57.707 --> 33:59.568 Kind of like reverse luck payback. 34:00.008 --> 34:01.029 So that's interesting, isn't it? 34:01.069 --> 34:03.810 So if he has a good journey, the day's going to be bad. 34:03.870 --> 34:04.871 He's flipped it round there. 34:05.211 --> 34:24.884 yes here's one from james in bath i think it's called obsessive superstition and not walking over three drains is what he does otherwise that'll bring terrible bad luck so every third drain he has to step on the drain does that make sense to you yeah i mean these are all nuts though aren't they he says keep up the average work 34:26.525 --> 34:27.446 That's very insulting. 34:27.987 --> 34:31.251 Claire and Crews says, I pass an old chap on the way to work each day. 34:31.271 --> 34:35.497 That could mean... It's an interesting use of the phrase old chap. 34:36.018 --> 34:40.323 If he says hello and comments on the weather, then it'll be a good day. 34:40.764 --> 34:42.386 If not, I'm in for a crippler. 34:44.208 --> 35:12.205 But what's that I don't I still I'm still trying to get your head around this I'm trying to get my head around What people are subconscious there's usually a reason for human beings to do these like trying to explain this to Spock I'm usually the Spock of the duo It's funny to see you not understanding like random emotion driven hmm logic here's another one doctor Yeah, hi Adam and Joe if in the morning I see eight dot oh eight on my alarm clock I know my day will be good as it reminds me of the band 808 state right and 35:13.266 --> 35:16.148 And I'm expecting really good things to happen, Antony, and Cheltenham. 35:16.188 --> 35:17.069 So that's a positive one. 35:17.289 --> 35:19.511 I would like, you know, I'd like to hear from a psychologist. 35:19.751 --> 35:24.014 If there's a psychologist listening, explain to me what human beings are doing. 35:24.094 --> 35:26.676 Are they trying to add order to their lives? 35:26.816 --> 35:28.617 Are they... Okay, get this one. 35:28.978 --> 35:30.599 This is from Matthew Adam Barry. 35:31.039 --> 35:36.742 I have always said the word toast after walking over three joined drain covers on a path. 35:36.862 --> 35:39.383 I've always done it since I was seven and I still do. 35:39.523 --> 35:41.124 What the heck is that about? 35:41.144 --> 35:49.728 But he's now so bound into that sort of superstition that he thinks if he doesn't say the word toast after stepping on three drains, then he's going to be in trouble. 35:49.829 --> 35:51.289 But that's borderline OCD though. 35:51.309 --> 35:51.810 Do you think? 35:51.890 --> 35:52.070 Yeah. 35:53.310 --> 35:57.332 Well, maybe that's what, we've got a lot of borderline OCD listeners in that case. 35:57.532 --> 36:00.713 I guess OCD is when impulses like that get out of control. 36:01.093 --> 36:05.194 Yeah, I think OCD is a bit more sort of, that's a serious thing. 36:05.234 --> 36:05.875 Yes, exactly. 36:06.335 --> 36:09.216 But those, everyone has those little 36:09.776 --> 36:26.399 Miniature superstitions, I suppose don't they but some people just have good luck is the other thing and then so you do believe in luck Well, no, I'm talking about lucky people I'm talking about I mean, it's just statistically that some things will go right a lot of the time if you believe in the 36:26.459 --> 36:27.979 existence of luck, then we've got you. 36:28.039 --> 36:34.041 No, but luck is how you describe just the way that things happen randomly, you know what I mean? 36:34.101 --> 36:34.541 Right, right. 36:34.561 --> 36:43.724 Statistically speaking, some people will have a lot of things go right for them a lot more than some other people who, unfortunately, you know... You're talking about Ricky Gervais, aren't you? 36:44.884 --> 36:47.024 That's exactly right, yeah. 36:47.084 --> 36:52.026 I think Ricky Gervais never steps on three drains, and he always says, putati. 36:52.266 --> 36:52.846 Putati. 36:53.266 --> 36:54.849 That's why his career's gone so well. 36:55.109 --> 36:56.050 I'm gonna try that for you. 36:56.070 --> 36:56.892 You gotta try it. 36:57.192 --> 36:58.875 Maybe I might get some tips from this text. 36:58.895 --> 36:59.556 Keep those coming in. 36:59.576 --> 37:02.099 The more elaborate and weird, the better. 37:02.360 --> 37:04.223 And I'd like to hear from a psychologist, alright? 37:04.463 --> 37:05.885 The text number is 64046. 37:06.847 --> 37:09.030 Text will be charged at your standard message rate. 37:09.110 --> 37:19.393 And of course you can email us for Text the Nation, and if you are listening to this on the iPlayer throughout the week and you want to get in touch for Retro Text the Nation, then please don't text, just email. 37:19.413 --> 37:25.895 The email address is adamandjo.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk. 37:26.135 --> 37:32.217 Yeah, if you're a psychologist and you want to send a longer explanation of what's going on here, maybe that email address would be the address for you. 37:32.537 --> 37:34.617 Here's a little bit of music for you right now. 37:34.637 --> 37:36.998 This is Cassabian with fire, who? 37:38.174 --> 37:39.955 Sabian with fire. 37:39.975 --> 37:43.016 Ooh, sexy, scary, sexy. 37:43.256 --> 37:45.938 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 37:46.158 --> 37:46.678 Yeah, hello. 37:46.698 --> 37:47.778 Hello. 37:47.819 --> 37:50.800 Last week we were talking about bad grammar in pop music. 37:50.960 --> 37:56.403 Well, it was the Noisettes have a very enjoyable single out at the moment that does feature a little bit of dodgy grammar. 37:56.423 --> 37:59.324 She pronounces the word mischievous as mischievous. 37:59.704 --> 38:01.205 I was still mischievous. 38:01.285 --> 38:04.806 She's putting an extra syllable in there and it got you quite angry, didn't it, Adam? 38:04.846 --> 38:05.967 Absolutely livid. 38:06.147 --> 38:07.728 We are grammatical pedants. 38:08.128 --> 38:09.909 We like the works of Lyn Truss. 38:10.750 --> 38:16.553 And we decided to, you know, maybe apply that same level of grammatical analysis to some other songs. 38:16.613 --> 38:17.874 Or you guys did, the listeners. 38:17.934 --> 38:22.917 And we got sent in some brilliant examples of bad grammar in pop that really winds you up. 38:23.438 --> 38:26.760 Here is an email we got from... Oh, no! 38:27.820 --> 38:30.081 I don't think I've put this person's name on. 38:30.361 --> 38:31.421 Doctor emails? 38:31.561 --> 38:32.422 Oh god. 38:32.942 --> 38:33.782 What an idiot hole. 38:33.862 --> 38:35.123 What an absolute idiot hole. 38:35.143 --> 38:46.666 Anyway, this emailer says, the two songs that drive me most insane with rage to the point where I have to shout over the offending bit with the correct version when they come on the radio are, number one, Space, with this little clip. 38:46.706 --> 38:48.247 Now check the bad grammar in here. 39:05.336 --> 39:10.562 Now our correspondent is there annoyed that he's saying the female of the species is more deadlier than the male. 39:10.602 --> 39:11.683 He doesn't say deadlier. 39:11.923 --> 39:14.526 Well he puts an extra little syllable there. 39:14.626 --> 39:23.014 Adam's contention is that he's just extending the word to make it fit the melody so it has an extra syllable which would then be the same 39:24.115 --> 39:28.196 Uh, the same mistake or error that the mischievous people did. 39:28.536 --> 39:29.037 Incorrect. 39:29.297 --> 39:30.697 The word is mischievous. 39:31.197 --> 39:32.958 She sings mischievous. 39:33.538 --> 39:33.798 Right. 39:34.178 --> 39:34.398 Right. 39:34.778 --> 39:36.239 There's no way she's stretching out. 39:36.599 --> 39:38.499 I was so mischievous. 39:38.759 --> 39:42.960 That would be the way you would stretch it out to fit the meter or whatever the word is, right? 39:43.060 --> 39:47.642 So your contention is that he is singing the female of the species is more deadlier. 39:47.682 --> 39:48.402 No, no, no, no. 39:48.462 --> 39:49.483 There's no deadlier. 39:49.564 --> 39:54.270 He's singing the female of the species is more deadly than the male. 39:54.290 --> 39:54.891 Let's do it again 40:06.873 --> 40:14.437 Well, that's probably his intention, I'd give you that as his attention, but I also completely sympathise with our e-mailer there. 40:14.557 --> 40:21.180 It could certainly be heard by impressionable young people as a mispronunciation of the word, therefore I think should be withdrawn and re-recorded. 40:21.260 --> 40:23.181 I'm throwing that out of the court of Dr Buckles. 40:23.621 --> 40:30.304 Now his next one is The Chemical Brothers on Let Forever Be, and this is a grammatical error by Noel Gallagher. 40:30.625 --> 40:31.205 Check this one out. 40:41.758 --> 40:42.298 So there you go. 40:42.378 --> 40:45.120 How does it feel like to wake up in the sun? 40:45.300 --> 40:48.903 And I submit that no, in no way is that grammatically correct. 40:48.963 --> 40:50.004 It makes absolutely no sense. 40:50.064 --> 40:56.228 And he's mangling the language to suit his style of arrogant cockshaw rock. 40:56.668 --> 40:58.430 I said cockshaw rock. 40:58.750 --> 40:59.750 Yeah. 40:59.991 --> 41:04.674 But I would say that's on the edge there because that's so flagrant that that's an artistic choice. 41:05.214 --> 41:09.117 Well, Your Honour, in that case, nothing, everything will be thrown out of court. 41:10.217 --> 41:11.438 Are we being pedantic or not? 41:11.458 --> 41:24.927 It's different to saying mischievous, because it's like, it's not sort of saying, it's not just creating a new, the fact is that a lot of people mispronounce the word mischievous as mischievous, and it's being perpetrated by the United States. 41:25.307 --> 41:33.790 Your Honour, that how does it feel like is in no way a correct English sentence, and that's going to encourage young people to speak poorly. 41:33.830 --> 41:43.613 And if you can't use language properly, you can't actually articulate ideas correctly, therefore it actually stunts civilisation. 41:43.793 --> 41:45.034 Certainly has stunted me from times. 41:45.054 --> 41:48.435 And the progress of the world, of the human race, you know? 41:48.455 --> 41:48.815 Yeah. 41:49.395 --> 41:50.436 Correct language is essential. 41:50.456 --> 41:56.463 But how does it feel like in that one, that's in the context of a crazy psychedelic ramble fest, you know what I mean? 41:56.983 --> 41:58.265 How does it feel like? 41:58.685 --> 42:00.367 I think that's just going too far. 42:00.387 --> 42:03.070 It's got all the flanging on there. 42:03.530 --> 42:04.251 Here's another one. 42:04.391 --> 42:10.738 This is from Liz in Norwich and I do apologise that previous email for, I copy pasted it and left the name out, damn it. 42:11.338 --> 42:16.624 The song which has upset myself and several of my friends is If There's Any Justice by Lamar. 42:17.005 --> 42:19.688 Now this is more nebulous so play this clip James. 42:30.698 --> 42:34.659 Right, okay, so now that sounds alright to me, doesn't it to you? 42:34.819 --> 42:36.780 He's got a few of his tenses muddled up there. 42:36.800 --> 42:47.604 Well he's used, and this is what Liz says, he has used both the present tense, if there is any justice, and the conditional, I would be your man in the same sentence, a schoolboy error, says Liz. 42:47.844 --> 42:48.584 I agree with you, Liz. 42:49.025 --> 42:51.305 That's definitely good pedantry there from Liz. 42:51.325 --> 42:52.766 The marks should be spanked on the heels. 42:53.626 --> 42:55.387 Well, that song can be withdrawn and re-recorded. 42:55.667 --> 42:55.928 Certainly. 42:55.948 --> 42:57.248 I think we're asking for no less. 42:57.629 --> 42:59.550 And finally, here's one from Ian Cummings. 42:59.770 --> 43:03.252 I agree that songs featuring terrible grammar should be kept off the radio. 43:03.652 --> 43:07.994 There was a song by Tinchy Strider called Take Me Back, which was played on Radio 1 a lot recently. 43:08.375 --> 43:10.036 I usually heard it while I was in the car. 43:10.476 --> 43:11.736 It features the following lyric. 43:11.817 --> 43:14.198 Again, let's just play this and see if you can spot the mistake. 43:22.549 --> 43:25.271 That kind of sticks out like a sore thumb. 43:25.331 --> 43:28.494 I'm sorry, I'm sorry I misleaded you, pretty lady. 43:28.874 --> 43:31.136 You know, they've got auto-tuned, Sust. 43:31.577 --> 43:33.318 All they need is a bit of autogramma. 43:34.759 --> 43:46.228 Ian Cumming says, on hearing that song, I would regularly scream something like, it's F at dollar sign, pound sign, ing misled, you F at dollar sign, pound sign, ing moron. 43:46.709 --> 43:48.590 Then switch off the radio in disgust. 43:48.911 --> 43:49.131 Yeah. 43:49.711 --> 43:50.331 So there you go. 43:50.412 --> 43:51.432 I'm sorry I misleaded you. 43:51.452 --> 43:54.874 That is just running up to you and smacking you in the face with it. 43:54.894 --> 43:57.735 There must be examples of this kind of thing done really well. 43:58.496 --> 43:59.176 Because you're right. 43:59.216 --> 44:05.699 There's no law against sort of creative mangling of language that expresses something better than the correct grammar could. 44:05.739 --> 44:08.361 And maybe that Chemical Brothers one is a case in point. 44:08.421 --> 44:09.281 It's poetic license. 44:09.301 --> 44:14.704 We're making, we're differentiating between fun with language and just flagrant bad grammar. 44:14.964 --> 44:15.344 Yeah. 44:15.484 --> 44:15.704 Right? 44:16.305 --> 44:20.046 So maybe there are examples of great records that do it brilliantly. 44:20.386 --> 44:21.406 Oh, there's loads of examples. 44:21.667 --> 44:26.128 I've got some more examples of some bad ones that I'll read out to you listeners later on in the show. 44:26.688 --> 44:28.269 But right now, here's some music. 44:28.289 --> 44:30.590 This is the White Stripes with the Denial Twist. 44:31.550 --> 44:36.212 You know, we maybe shouldn't have opened the grammar pedantry floodgates there. 44:36.452 --> 44:36.612 Why? 44:36.972 --> 44:44.055 Well, because it turns out that we make lots of grammatical errors during the program and now we're getting texts for every single one. 44:44.855 --> 44:46.536 Mostly made by me in that last link. 44:47.176 --> 44:48.656 We make loads of the highest order. 44:49.517 --> 44:51.037 We make loads of grammatical errors. 44:51.257 --> 44:52.297 That's not what we're talking about. 44:52.317 --> 44:54.498 We're talking about things that are recorded. 44:54.598 --> 45:00.859 If we were doing a record, right, if we were recording something legendarily that was going to be there for all time, this is just a disposable radio show. 45:00.879 --> 45:01.899 One, two, three, four. 45:02.519 --> 45:08.641 I'm counting the number of texts we've got saying that I should have pronounced mispronunciation, mispronunciation, not mispronounce. 45:08.981 --> 45:12.221 Should we go about eight or nine? 45:12.842 --> 45:13.362 Fair enough. 45:13.502 --> 45:13.942 OK, but. 45:14.662 --> 45:20.367 The point is, if you're going to do a record, right, that's going to be there forever and ever, then you would sort those things out. 45:21.468 --> 45:22.249 Just a bit of fun. 45:22.289 --> 45:23.450 It's just a little bit of fun. 45:23.510 --> 45:24.731 It's just supposed to be a bit of fun. 45:24.751 --> 45:25.752 Stop hitting me. 45:26.032 --> 45:27.894 Why would you hit me with those sticks? 45:28.434 --> 45:29.935 Here's a free play for you now, listeners. 45:30.016 --> 45:33.979 Actually, before the free play, let me say that we're going to be at Glastonbury this year. 45:34.019 --> 45:35.901 That's exciting, isn't it? 45:35.921 --> 45:36.021 Yes. 45:36.421 --> 45:38.603 And we'll be there with the 6th Music Team. 45:38.963 --> 45:41.466 I think we're doing... Are we doing some sort of a show every day? 45:42.046 --> 45:47.133 Yeah, we're doing maybe not a three-hour, but maybe a two-hour show every day and on one of the days we're doing two two-hour shows. 45:47.593 --> 45:48.154 Something like that. 45:48.414 --> 45:49.316 We're very excited. 45:49.656 --> 45:50.036 Can't wait. 45:50.978 --> 45:53.040 Neil Young is going to be there, of course. 45:53.821 --> 45:54.783 The Springster? 45:55.163 --> 45:56.184 The Springmeister. 45:57.266 --> 45:58.668 Who else is the other big guy? 45:59.128 --> 45:59.608 Blue. 45:59.708 --> 46:00.669 Oh, blue. 46:01.089 --> 46:01.509 Brilliant. 46:01.629 --> 46:02.310 Drive by. 46:02.870 --> 46:03.030 Blue. 46:03.050 --> 46:03.550 All the hits. 46:04.271 --> 46:06.232 Eiffel 65 are going to be there. 46:06.292 --> 46:06.592 Yeah. 46:06.972 --> 46:07.872 All the big bands. 46:08.172 --> 46:08.973 Can you flip? 46:10.574 --> 46:11.334 Jimmy the Hoover. 46:12.595 --> 46:14.175 We've got a fuzz box and we're going to use it. 46:14.195 --> 46:15.316 They're on the main stage. 46:17.537 --> 46:18.578 That's going to be reforming. 46:18.758 --> 46:24.180 Anyway, the big news, listeners, is that we are giving away Glastonbury tickets later. 46:24.641 --> 46:28.903 And you can find out how to win those Glastonbury tickets later on in this program. 46:28.923 --> 46:29.143 All right. 46:29.163 --> 46:29.883 So keep listening. 46:29.903 --> 46:34.886 And that's a big prize because, you know, they are very expensive, aren't they? 46:35.066 --> 46:36.726 It's expensive and impossible to get hold of now. 46:37.287 --> 46:37.647 Exactly. 46:37.747 --> 46:38.007 Yeah. 46:38.507 --> 46:41.228 So keep listening if you want to find out how to win Glastonbury tickets. 46:41.268 --> 46:42.728 Here's a free play for you right now. 46:43.048 --> 46:44.108 This is one for my mummy. 46:44.768 --> 46:45.469 If you're listening, mummy. 46:45.489 --> 46:47.569 Again, your mummy gets a lot of free plays. 46:47.729 --> 46:48.730 Nothing bad about that. 46:48.750 --> 46:49.130 It's good. 46:49.150 --> 46:50.650 She's getting one every week these days. 46:50.670 --> 46:51.170 More or less. 46:51.410 --> 46:52.350 I think it's respectful. 46:52.771 --> 46:53.031 Right. 46:53.071 --> 46:53.811 What about your daddy? 46:54.631 --> 46:55.192 He doesn't listen. 46:55.652 --> 46:56.052 Doesn't he? 46:56.153 --> 46:56.373 Nah. 46:56.613 --> 46:57.534 He thinks we're idiots. 46:57.854 --> 46:58.435 Does he now? 46:58.855 --> 46:59.936 I don't think he thinks that. 47:00.016 --> 47:00.957 No, he doesn't think we're idiots. 47:00.977 --> 47:01.678 He likes us both. 47:02.118 --> 47:03.640 But he thinks what we do is idiotic. 47:04.060 --> 47:04.381 Does he? 47:04.561 --> 47:04.821 Yeah. 47:05.121 --> 47:05.882 So he doesn't like it. 47:06.062 --> 47:07.063 Maybe he's got a point. 47:07.143 --> 47:07.904 He might have a point. 47:08.144 --> 47:11.347 If he was listening to the thing about grammar, he wouldn't stop texting in. 47:11.568 --> 47:11.868 Really? 47:11.928 --> 47:12.428 Yeah, he'd be furious. 47:12.448 --> 47:15.211 We should get him as our grammar correspondent. 47:15.231 --> 47:15.972 Yeah, possibly. 47:16.753 --> 47:19.115 Here's Louis Armstrong with a kiss to build a dream on. 47:19.946 --> 47:22.969 The ultimate boardroom battle is drawing to a close. 47:23.270 --> 47:24.811 The apprentice final week. 47:24.891 --> 47:27.014 This time, everything's at stake. 47:27.294 --> 47:29.496 Who is going to be my apprentice? 47:29.877 --> 47:32.500 On Sunday, it's Kate versus Yasmina. 47:32.520 --> 47:35.863 The job is incised, so there's a lot more pressure on. 47:36.003 --> 47:39.447 Coming second or coming 20th, it's all the same thing. 47:40.028 --> 47:42.030 Winning is what it's about because I really want that job. 47:42.250 --> 47:43.711 The Apprentice, the final. 47:43.831 --> 47:45.692 One of you will get hired. 47:45.812 --> 47:48.114 Tomorrow night from 9 on BBC One. 47:48.474 --> 47:49.675 Oh, that's exciting, isn't it? 47:49.695 --> 47:51.036 That's my Sunday night sorted. 47:51.056 --> 47:52.177 Do you know what the task is? 47:52.757 --> 47:55.099 No, I keep missing them. 47:55.179 --> 47:58.061 I'm going to watch last week's show on the iPlayer tonight. 47:58.141 --> 47:59.102 It was a good one last week. 47:59.142 --> 48:00.022 It was terrifying. 48:00.383 --> 48:03.165 When I watch it, I get terrified for my own employment prospects. 48:03.545 --> 48:05.926 I sit there thinking I'm never going to get anywhere in the world. 48:06.307 --> 48:08.068 I have to remind myself that I've got a job. 48:08.228 --> 48:08.468 Right. 48:08.648 --> 48:11.630 If they heard you saying mispronunciation, I'd be fired. 48:11.650 --> 48:12.631 You'd be out the door immediately. 48:12.651 --> 48:15.573 You're a nice chap, but you got no grasp of grammar. 48:15.593 --> 48:17.554 That was a bad impression. 48:17.594 --> 48:18.495 Can you do an Alan Sugar? 48:19.508 --> 48:23.052 Well, no, because he says a lot of bad words that we can't say on this programme. 48:23.092 --> 48:24.973 You think they're central to a good impression. 48:25.174 --> 48:25.514 Yeah. 48:25.874 --> 48:34.222 Listen, you know we were speculating on whether our Apprentice songs that we did for Song Wars a few weeks ago might get used in the Apprentice spin-off show You're Fired. 48:34.302 --> 48:39.167 Well, I was convinced that your song about Margaret Mountford would be ideal for the show You're Fired. 48:39.908 --> 48:41.610 You're saying that because you think it's been used. 48:42.210 --> 48:49.553 Yeah, I was just thinking that at some point they should have used it and as they haven't so far, maybe it'll get used in the final. 48:49.973 --> 48:56.516 Well, I think the final was either the final of the actual show or the final you're fired was filmed on Friday. 48:56.536 --> 48:59.518 They very kindly invited us, but we couldn't make it yesterday. 48:59.558 --> 48:59.678 Yeah. 49:00.738 --> 49:06.184 Um, it's due to go out on Sunday evening as that trail told you, but here's an email from someone who was in the audience. 49:06.224 --> 49:11.871 Doug Wallace, dear Adam and Joe, I was at the apprentice final last night and they played your tune about Margaret! 49:12.031 --> 49:12.551 Hey! 49:12.872 --> 49:15.354 But I guess you know that, as someone in the castle will have told you. 49:15.374 --> 49:16.416 Well, they didn't, Doug. 49:16.656 --> 49:18.318 They said there was a chance they might, didn't they? 49:18.578 --> 49:18.858 Well... 49:19.699 --> 49:24.425 Duck goes on to say, I felt sorry for Joe as they didn't play his tune, which was equally good. 49:24.766 --> 49:25.487 He means Adam. 49:25.587 --> 49:25.827 Right. 49:26.929 --> 49:33.177 But then he says, I wanted to Stephen when they said Joe, but I thought I'd get chucked out of the recording. 49:33.197 --> 49:34.839 He's getting our names a little confused there. 49:34.859 --> 49:35.800 He thinks we're both called Joe. 49:35.900 --> 49:36.922 Yeah, that's fair enough. 49:37.522 --> 50:01.359 But then you know, I think there's it's still questionable whether it'll make the final edit Mm-hmm because they record those shows over long Don't they right and then they cut they run over and then they cut them down and shape them So it's no way guaranteed and in the past what the other examples of us getting so near but yet so far on this I got a call to go on the I'm a celebrity after show you go sister show and 50:01.519 --> 50:02.840 And what was the one I got? 50:02.941 --> 50:05.023 I got... For my Biff Baff Boff song. 50:05.083 --> 50:05.663 What was the one? 50:05.824 --> 50:06.504 Oh yeah, what was it? 50:06.524 --> 50:07.285 No, Antics Roadshow. 50:07.305 --> 50:13.211 They were going to use my Antics Roadshow song and they made these overtures about getting hold of it, but then it never turned up in the show. 50:13.251 --> 50:13.912 Teasing Tickling. 50:13.992 --> 50:15.474 So this is closer than ever. 50:15.954 --> 50:16.155 Absolutely. 50:16.215 --> 50:18.597 It's actually got into the record of the show. 50:18.677 --> 50:20.679 Will it make it into the final broadcast edit? 50:21.620 --> 50:24.962 That's more exciting than finding out who's won the overall competition. 50:25.182 --> 50:25.682 Don't you think? 50:26.042 --> 50:27.003 Definitely. 50:27.383 --> 50:28.863 Millions of people are going to be watching. 50:28.883 --> 50:31.364 It's going to boost their ratings enormously. 50:32.165 --> 50:33.125 Oh, I'm so excited. 50:33.405 --> 50:34.366 I can't believe it. 50:34.586 --> 50:38.348 That's very magnanimous of me to be excited about your song as well, isn't it? 50:38.368 --> 50:38.608 Is it? 50:38.648 --> 50:38.988 Yeah. 50:39.328 --> 50:40.889 In a way that you never would be if it was mine. 50:40.909 --> 50:41.389 Do you think? 50:41.529 --> 50:42.329 Yeah, definitely not. 50:42.810 --> 50:43.670 That is very good of you. 50:43.690 --> 50:44.190 Thanks, man. 50:44.210 --> 50:44.670 It's OK. 50:45.051 --> 50:46.131 So there's something to look forward to. 50:46.431 --> 50:47.552 Is it time for the news now? 50:47.592 --> 50:48.072 It's just gone 10.30. 50:48.132 --> 50:49.573 You're listening to 6 Music. 50:49.633 --> 50:50.333 It's time for the news. 50:50.950 --> 50:52.051 The prons, isn't it, Adam? 50:52.091 --> 50:53.332 It's the absolute purple ponce. 50:53.472 --> 50:59.176 It's him sounding as if he's covering Get It On by T-Rex. 50:59.216 --> 50:59.636 A little bit. 50:59.676 --> 51:00.357 That's cream. 51:00.737 --> 51:05.901 And that record is in no way suitable to be broadcast in the morning on a family radio station. 51:06.585 --> 51:07.946 because it's hard to digest. 51:08.066 --> 51:12.429 Cream is... Yeah, you just don't want to be tempting people with cakes at this time in the morning. 51:12.489 --> 51:13.690 It's not good for the cholesterol. 51:13.710 --> 51:14.450 Yeah, absolutely. 51:14.530 --> 51:15.171 That's what you're saying. 51:15.551 --> 51:15.771 Yeah. 51:15.791 --> 51:16.972 It's responsible. 51:16.992 --> 51:22.135 Now, we like to encourage people to send us in the jokes, their jokes that they have made up, right? 51:22.155 --> 51:34.723 Yes, it's important to realise for this segment of the programme, listeners, that these are listener-authored jokes, or sometimes people are deluded into thinking that they've made up a joke when actually it's been in wide circulation. 51:35.003 --> 51:35.863 It's doing the rounds. 51:35.903 --> 51:37.424 Shall we have the jingle anyway? 51:38.484 --> 51:55.350 I'm a funny person I often make up jokes My jokes are more amusing Than those of other folks When you hear my joke I think you'll find that you agree Come on you're all invited to a made up joke party 51:56.750 --> 51:58.872 Yeah, some joke sound effects in there. 51:59.072 --> 52:03.136 So these are jokes we've gathered over the last few weeks since we last did this segment. 52:03.236 --> 52:06.138 Can I kick off by giving you an example of a joke that's too good? 52:06.158 --> 52:08.540 Because we get a lot of jokes that are too good. 52:08.800 --> 52:09.081 Right. 52:09.521 --> 52:11.463 Here's one from Tom in Oxford. 52:12.083 --> 52:13.845 How did Dracula find his way home? 52:14.785 --> 52:15.266 Bat-nav. 52:16.943 --> 52:17.483 Too good. 52:18.084 --> 52:19.905 Is that too good or is it too bad? 52:20.345 --> 52:25.928 Well, it's somewhere there, but either way... I'd say it's got both feet firmly in the too bad cap. 52:25.948 --> 52:27.750 It's straddling the camps. 52:27.890 --> 52:31.532 I mean, that's just that sort of puffing joke, but cracker cracker time, isn't it? 52:31.552 --> 52:32.492 That's right. 52:32.532 --> 52:34.814 If you'd given me a couple of seconds, I could have thought of that one. 52:34.994 --> 52:36.075 Well, that's what I'm saying. 52:36.255 --> 52:38.276 Here's one that's genuinely good. 52:38.296 --> 52:39.056 Okay. 52:40.157 --> 52:41.118 This is from Ben Wyborn. 52:41.138 --> 52:41.818 Thanks though, Tom. 52:43.519 --> 52:45.921 Who says, how do you find Will Smith in the snow? 52:46.201 --> 52:46.841 Oh, I had that one. 52:46.862 --> 52:47.622 It's amazing. 52:47.802 --> 52:48.843 Look for the Fresh Prince. 52:49.323 --> 52:49.864 Very good. 52:49.884 --> 52:50.644 Now, that's good. 52:50.744 --> 52:51.145 Come on. 52:51.425 --> 52:53.226 Or I would say... But that's so good, you see. 52:53.286 --> 52:55.308 I think, well, maybe that's not made up by Ben. 52:55.328 --> 52:57.850 Maybe that's made up by a joke professional. 52:57.950 --> 52:58.210 Maybe. 52:58.730 --> 53:09.580 There are in China and India massive joke factories where people just sit reading the newspapers, batting around ideas, formulating jokes. 53:09.941 --> 53:11.162 They do that in America though, don't they? 53:11.182 --> 53:12.123 That's how they write their sitcoms. 53:12.183 --> 53:18.288 And then they send one man into a pub in Shropshire and he says it to a man there. 53:18.929 --> 53:20.811 But by the end of the day, it's all around London. 53:20.871 --> 53:21.451 They test them. 53:21.531 --> 53:22.012 And Britain. 53:22.572 --> 53:25.676 You see, I wouldn't have put the... I wouldn't have used the word the, though. 53:25.776 --> 53:27.257 I would have said, look for fresh prints. 53:27.317 --> 53:30.601 I had to read it out exactly as Ben sent it in, otherwise it would have been lying. 53:31.322 --> 53:31.642 Really? 53:31.782 --> 53:32.924 And abusing his trust. 53:32.944 --> 53:35.106 Do you never edit any of the emails that are sent to you? 53:35.146 --> 53:35.827 You do sometimes. 53:35.907 --> 53:35.987 No. 53:36.027 --> 53:36.668 Yes, of course I do. 53:37.148 --> 53:39.070 Here's one from Mike in Deptford. 53:40.168 --> 53:43.972 Do you know about... I like the ones that start like that, conversationally. 53:44.192 --> 53:44.492 Yes. 53:45.373 --> 53:49.998 Do you know about the Antipodean prophet who absorbed the Ten Commandments? 53:50.178 --> 53:50.679 Oh God. 53:52.961 --> 53:55.243 You see, this is what we like, the really laboured setup. 53:56.965 --> 53:57.926 Now hang on, read that again. 53:58.749 --> 54:00.271 Oh yeah, I know what you mean. 54:00.771 --> 54:04.095 Do you know the one about it? 54:04.295 --> 54:05.096 Yeah, of course I do. 54:05.116 --> 54:10.462 Of course I know about the Antipodean prophet who absorbed the Ten Commandments. 54:11.203 --> 54:13.065 His name was Osmosis. 54:13.646 --> 54:14.447 Oh no. 54:14.887 --> 54:15.748 Osmosis. 54:16.028 --> 54:16.789 Terrible. 54:19.292 --> 54:20.733 BANG! 54:20.934 --> 54:22.175 We need a sound effect. 54:22.355 --> 54:24.837 Next week I'll have a sound effect, or next time we do made up chips. 54:24.877 --> 54:27.740 I like the fact that it would be a bang, or the sound of someone being shot. 54:27.920 --> 54:28.761 KABOSH! 54:29.041 --> 54:29.622 Or killed. 54:30.303 --> 54:34.567 Let's get something out of the beginning of Saving Private Ryan or a Stork and Slash film. 54:34.587 --> 54:37.670 That would be really inappropriate, wouldn't it, for the anniversary of D-Day. 54:38.430 --> 54:42.972 For Mike in Deptford though, that would be the sound of a nuclear bomb going off for Oz Moses. 54:43.412 --> 54:45.733 That would be amazing, Mike in Deptford. 54:45.933 --> 54:56.617 He says, love the show, although I'm unable to join Black Squadron officially, I'm an avid DigiForce member, sometimes I listen to the full three hour show twice a week. 54:56.737 --> 54:57.057 What? 54:57.137 --> 54:58.017 Is this insane? 54:58.177 --> 54:58.397 Yes. 54:58.557 --> 54:59.298 Yes it is, Mike. 54:59.658 --> 55:00.378 Thanks for the joke. 55:00.618 --> 55:13.502 Here's another one from Armida Taylor who says, this week I'm emailing you in with a joke all the way from Edinburgh, which this morning had my English boss in tears of hysteria at our staff meeting. 55:13.983 --> 55:22.446 It uniformly raises a chuckle, perhaps at the expense of the people of Scotland, and it requires a Scottish accent for the punchline. 55:22.486 --> 55:23.826 You're good at them. 55:24.046 --> 55:26.447 What do you do if you find a trumpet growing in your garden? 55:27.027 --> 55:27.427 I don't know. 55:29.748 --> 55:30.349 Come on! 55:33.211 --> 55:33.972 That's good. 55:35.153 --> 55:35.813 I need a tailor. 55:35.833 --> 55:37.835 That sounds too good to be true. 55:37.895 --> 55:44.340 Again, it sounds like it's formulated by the puffin books or something. 55:45.161 --> 55:45.941 That is good. 55:45.961 --> 55:48.143 That's genius because it's a fun thing to say as well. 55:48.263 --> 55:52.046 If you've got a punchline that is enjoyable to say, Oz Moses. 55:54.788 --> 55:55.348 You got another one? 55:55.568 --> 56:00.189 Yeah, I've got loads boy Why did this is from Luke at Northwest London? 56:00.850 --> 56:05.531 Why did the man in the office who told everyone to be really nasty to the secretary named Rachel? 56:05.711 --> 56:09.152 Oh, this is good get sent to prison Well, I know the answer. 56:09.172 --> 56:10.032 This is very good though. 56:10.192 --> 56:12.153 He was inciting Rachel hatred. 56:12.593 --> 56:13.133 I like it 56:16.014 --> 56:22.097 He says, I hope you can read this one out just to prove to my girlfriend that she really should laugh and appreciate my efforts. 56:22.377 --> 56:23.078 All the best, Luke. 56:23.618 --> 56:24.939 Well, I think you're right, Luke. 56:24.959 --> 56:26.660 She should definitely appreciate your efforts. 56:26.680 --> 56:27.340 That's amazing. 56:27.400 --> 56:28.781 Here's one from Alex Petrie. 56:29.181 --> 56:34.164 My colleague, Dom Jordan, came into work this morning claiming he'd made up a joke on his way in. 56:34.664 --> 56:37.445 He is not a listener to your show, the fool. 56:37.766 --> 56:39.727 However, I offered to send it on his behalf. 56:40.447 --> 56:42.790 Dom is adamant he made this one up, I'm not so sure. 56:43.370 --> 56:46.213 If you read this out, I'm fairly sure he'll start listening to you, here it is. 56:47.034 --> 56:50.958 I heard that John McEnroe recently attended an interview for the new Harry Potter film. 56:51.339 --> 56:56.324 Upon completing the audition, he asked for some feedback, to which he was told, you cannot be serious. 56:59.389 --> 57:16.762 that's good but that's too good i mean i you know what i read that no i can see i can think that someone would make that up because you know you'd come out of the film so that villain serious was good serious he was a very serious performance and you know it would go from there brilliant um but i googled that just to see if it existed 57:17.643 --> 57:23.466 It doesn't exist in joke form, but there are many sites called You Cannot Be Serious With That Spelling. 57:23.486 --> 57:24.526 Right, right, right. 57:24.706 --> 57:28.848 But I couldn't find any references to it as a proper joke. 57:28.908 --> 57:30.669 So, Alex, that sounds good to me. 57:30.809 --> 57:32.170 What motivated you to do that? 57:32.390 --> 57:35.951 Because I thought it was so good, I was curious to find out, like, if it existed. 57:35.991 --> 57:37.212 Why is that insane behaviour? 57:37.752 --> 57:38.572 It's not, it's fine. 57:39.973 --> 57:41.974 Here's a good one from Dan in Norwich. 57:42.534 --> 57:45.676 What do you call a Newcastle-based Ian Curtis tribute band? 57:46.696 --> 57:47.276 I don't know. 57:47.677 --> 57:49.037 Geordie vision. 57:49.477 --> 57:50.238 That's good. 57:50.278 --> 57:52.118 That's got to have been around though surely. 57:52.699 --> 57:54.680 Smash Hits must have done that one back in the day. 57:54.700 --> 57:55.160 You reckon? 57:55.840 --> 57:57.641 Not to take anything away from the author. 57:57.721 --> 57:58.961 They've got dibs on Geordies. 57:59.522 --> 58:01.002 That's a very good one down in Norwich. 58:02.783 --> 58:04.344 Mine are not getting quite bad. 58:04.364 --> 58:05.884 Do you want another very complicated one? 58:05.925 --> 58:06.445 Check this out. 58:06.465 --> 58:07.705 This is from James. 58:08.306 --> 58:15.889 He says this joke requires some background knowledge of British pop music from the early 90s as well as a very basic understanding of Hebrew. 58:16.733 --> 58:17.654 Oh, I love this one. 58:17.734 --> 58:18.994 No, you can't read this out. 58:19.034 --> 58:19.895 This goes on forever. 58:19.915 --> 58:20.315 No, no. 58:20.675 --> 58:23.657 So far, I haven't found many people I can tell this joke to. 58:24.258 --> 58:27.319 Bill Drummond's pet dog started an Israeli pop group. 58:27.640 --> 58:29.060 They're called Kalev. 58:30.301 --> 58:33.323 Brackets, he explains, Bill Drummond was in the KLF. 58:33.603 --> 58:35.784 And the Hebrew word for dog is Kalev. 58:36.325 --> 58:37.065 Thanks, Jamie. 58:39.155 --> 58:39.635 That's good. 58:39.655 --> 58:41.756 I like the ones that take really long explanations. 58:42.196 --> 58:42.696 Is that enough? 58:42.836 --> 58:43.236 One more. 58:43.296 --> 58:44.476 OK, here's the last one. 58:45.577 --> 58:47.157 This is from Tony Bradbury. 58:47.197 --> 58:48.237 Hello, Adam and Joe. 58:48.757 --> 58:56.739 About eight years ago, I came up with what I'm still convinced is a great joke, which I insist on saying every time someone approaches needing to light their cigarette. 58:56.779 --> 58:58.360 They ask, have you got a lighter? 58:58.880 --> 59:02.420 To which I reply in a jovial Italian accent whilst clutching my belly. 59:02.801 --> 59:06.021 Well, I have a been watching what I have a been eating. 59:06.041 --> 59:08.342 Because he's got a lighter. 59:09.150 --> 59:10.351 He's got a little bit of light. 59:10.431 --> 59:17.836 After chuckling to myself from delivering the line, the lighter requester normally stands looking confused and just repeats the question and I have to respond with, no, sorry, I don't smoke. 59:18.677 --> 59:19.358 Hope you like it. 59:20.078 --> 59:21.039 Toby Bradbury. 59:21.079 --> 59:22.000 Did I say Tony before? 59:22.060 --> 59:22.860 Toby Bradbury. 59:23.120 --> 59:25.042 Thank you very much for all those made up jokes. 59:25.062 --> 59:25.782 Keep those coming in. 59:25.902 --> 59:28.104 You must think that you've authored them yourself. 59:28.164 --> 59:29.945 You must have made them up to qualify. 59:29.965 --> 59:31.286 We don't endorse joke theft. 59:31.467 --> 59:32.888 No, stuff that you've heard or read. 59:33.148 --> 59:33.588 Not interested. 59:33.808 --> 59:34.949 Absolutely not interested. 59:35.189 --> 59:37.411 Here's golden silvers with arrows of the air. 59:38.148 --> 59:41.592 We've latched onto a very specific part of the 80s there, gold and silvers. 59:42.113 --> 59:48.341 I mean it's fashionable to go all 80s on people's arses, but that seems unnecessarily strange. 59:48.902 --> 59:51.745 They were joint winners of the Glastonbury Festival new talent competition in 2008. 59:51.825 --> 59:52.586 Is that really true? 59:54.208 --> 59:55.670 That's a rapid rise to fame. 59:56.090 --> 59:59.754 And of course, there is exciting Glastonbury news coming up in the show later. 59:59.794 --> 01:00:03.778 We'll tell you how you could get your hands on free tickets for the event. 01:00:04.358 --> 01:00:07.201 Now, I went to see King Creosote in London on Monday. 01:00:07.241 --> 01:00:13.167 It was a terrific gig and he was supported by Pictish Trail, who is of course Johnny from King Creosote. 01:00:13.647 --> 01:00:14.648 with his own little setup. 01:00:14.688 --> 01:00:18.031 But a funny thing happened, it was in the 100 Club which is quite a small venue. 01:00:19.212 --> 01:00:21.534 It wasn't packed out which was a terrific thing. 01:00:22.095 --> 01:00:29.681 They played quite a lot, King Kriasote, so you always get those beautifully balanced gigs where it's not too crowded and you can hear properly and see. 01:00:30.102 --> 01:00:34.245 Everyone was sort of huddled around the stage and the band and there was a bit of space behind the huddle. 01:00:35.026 --> 01:00:52.216 and occupying the space behind the huddle were two ladies who had got chairs and sat literally a foot behind the furthest back person in the crowd and decided to chat about everything that had happened that week, all their problems, their families, you know, Sue being key, 01:00:53.517 --> 01:01:04.285 Madge, all their friends, what they were up to and annoyingly the music was, you know, drowning them out a bit so they raised their voices so they could be heard by each other over the music. 01:01:04.525 --> 01:01:08.729 They had husbands, they'd obviously been bought by their husbands but didn't really care about the band. 01:01:09.329 --> 01:01:23.160 The husbands kept coming over, backing out of the crowd, coming over and checking in on them, patting them on their shoulders, giving them beer, going, you're getting on all right, you're having a nice time, and then go, yeah, jolly good, right, bye, going off back to watch the gig. 01:01:23.481 --> 01:01:24.422 And they would proceed to go... 01:01:35.210 --> 01:01:37.111 It was driving me mental. 01:01:37.932 --> 01:01:42.554 I was thinking how much longer can they do these women have no idea where they are? 01:01:42.874 --> 01:02:01.084 Yeah, and but there were people other people at the gig standing quite close to them who didn't seem to mind well, maybe I was thinking well, I was thinking maybe I'm just a pedant and Everyone's much more relaxed than me and come on Cornish Chill your socks on Jimmy grumpers a slice of chill cake and you know little live and let live 01:02:01.667 --> 01:02:04.009 live and let die was more what I was thinking. 01:02:04.470 --> 01:02:06.071 I wanted to go and give them what for. 01:02:06.411 --> 01:02:12.938 I waited until the very last song when Kenny Kin Kriasote said, all right, this is our last track. 01:02:12.978 --> 01:02:13.458 We've got to go. 01:02:13.478 --> 01:02:15.960 And then I thought they were still talking really loudly. 01:02:15.980 --> 01:02:18.002 So I thought, right, you know, they need to learn. 01:02:18.102 --> 01:02:18.723 They need to know. 01:02:18.743 --> 01:02:20.224 Well, would you have gone over to them? 01:02:21.025 --> 01:02:23.747 I certainly would have... Fumigated. 01:02:23.767 --> 01:02:25.969 My technique is always to... Is that the right word? 01:02:26.029 --> 01:02:26.550 Fumigated. 01:02:26.630 --> 01:02:27.210 No, what do I mean? 01:02:27.370 --> 01:02:28.371 Fumigated. 01:02:28.431 --> 01:02:29.212 Fumigated is wrong. 01:02:29.232 --> 01:02:31.273 With smoke. 01:02:31.313 --> 01:02:32.314 What do I mean? 01:02:32.735 --> 01:02:33.835 I was bubbling with rage. 01:02:34.036 --> 01:02:35.016 Oh, you were fulminating. 01:02:35.076 --> 01:02:36.177 Fulminating, that's the word. 01:02:36.498 --> 01:02:42.122 So I crossed over to them during the penultimate song and I sort of knelt down and I really wanted to be polite. 01:02:42.142 --> 01:02:44.224 I thought, right, I'm going to do this, but I'm going to do it really politely. 01:02:44.664 --> 01:02:49.348 But I was still angry, so I think the politeness might have come out as passive aggressiveness. 01:02:49.888 --> 01:02:51.309 So I spilt a little bit of aggression. 01:02:51.389 --> 01:02:52.389 That's what happens, isn't it? 01:02:52.429 --> 01:02:58.131 When you're really trying to be polite, but yet you're furious, so it just comes out as awful anal passive aggressiveness. 01:02:58.512 --> 01:03:00.232 So I put my hand on her shoulder. 01:03:00.613 --> 01:03:01.313 Whoa! 01:03:01.333 --> 01:03:06.175 And I said, excuse me, would you mind awfully not talking really loudly? 01:03:07.426 --> 01:03:27.329 just for the last song and she sort of went as if a sort of some sort of zombie was attacking her she freaked out and she turned around and she said oh my god i'm dreadfully sorry and i went no no no you're all right just be quiet just for the last song 01:03:28.090 --> 01:03:35.051 I said, and then I turned my back and I went back to my little cluster of friends with my back to them. 01:03:35.091 --> 01:03:38.612 So I didn't see what the immediate response was, but I got back to my friends and said, what are they doing? 01:03:38.632 --> 01:03:39.092 What are they doing? 01:03:39.132 --> 01:03:40.172 What's their response? 01:03:41.552 --> 01:03:44.493 And my friend said, oh, they looked really shocked. 01:03:44.733 --> 01:03:51.774 They just stood up and left because they were so sort of violated by me coming up to them. 01:03:51.914 --> 01:03:53.235 And putting your hand on the shoulder. 01:03:53.255 --> 01:03:53.995 Did I do the right thing? 01:03:54.035 --> 01:03:54.735 Like a policeman. 01:03:55.715 --> 01:03:56.656 Well, it was loud. 01:03:56.716 --> 01:03:58.456 They wouldn't have heard me if I'd just spoken. 01:03:58.917 --> 01:04:04.139 And she was deep in another very drunk, tedious, loud story anyway. 01:04:06.440 --> 01:04:07.421 Did I do the right thing? 01:04:07.441 --> 01:04:11.883 I came away thinking I didn't do the right thing. 01:04:11.963 --> 01:04:14.404 That if I put up with it for the whole gig, I should have just left it. 01:04:14.524 --> 01:04:20.947 The thing is, what happens is that I think people can sense it when your rage has been pent up for so long. 01:04:20.967 --> 01:04:21.447 Do you know what I mean? 01:04:21.487 --> 01:04:22.868 And it spills out suddenly. 01:04:23.548 --> 01:04:38.655 Like it's better just to nip those things in the bud as soon as they start I should have gone over immediately And just don't worry about just being a little bit cursed and saying oh shut up, but it was quite effective I mean, I've really freaked them out I don't think they'll do it again Anyway, this is words fail me now. 01:04:38.695 --> 01:04:48.940 This is from the pictish trails album secret sounds This is the voice of the big bittish castle You are listening to animatrix music 01:04:58.097 --> 01:04:58.997 That is good, innit? 01:04:59.418 --> 01:05:01.799 Funboy 3 with the lunatics have taken over the asylum. 01:05:01.819 --> 01:05:04.240 I think that might even be produced by David Byrne, you know. 01:05:04.800 --> 01:05:05.720 Do you think that? 01:05:05.800 --> 01:05:07.281 I think he produced that album. 01:05:07.641 --> 01:05:08.481 I might be wrong about that. 01:05:08.501 --> 01:05:10.122 I know he produced one of their albums. 01:05:10.582 --> 01:05:11.883 Anyway, it's wonderful stuff. 01:05:12.043 --> 01:05:12.803 Funboy 3 there. 01:05:12.843 --> 01:05:14.964 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 01:05:15.404 --> 01:05:19.026 Now, here's some info for you, Glastonbury info for you listeners. 01:05:19.586 --> 01:05:23.788 If you would like to join us at Glastonbury this year for Nish, 01:05:24.775 --> 01:05:27.156 Free tickets, then listen up, right? 01:05:27.176 --> 01:05:31.037 When you say join us, you mean be at Glastonbury rather than help present the show? 01:05:31.818 --> 01:05:32.958 That's true, I do mean that. 01:05:32.998 --> 01:05:37.820 I mean, be in the Glastonbury environs where we will also be. 01:05:38.500 --> 01:05:39.460 But don't touch us. 01:05:39.601 --> 01:05:40.541 No, you won't be allowed anywhere. 01:05:40.561 --> 01:05:43.462 We'll be in a carefully fenced off high security BBC compound. 01:05:43.482 --> 01:05:44.342 Compound, exactly. 01:05:44.382 --> 01:05:47.243 So when we say join us, we mean you can sort of claw at the fence. 01:05:47.523 --> 01:05:51.005 You can look at the... Whilst being poked with an electric BBC cattle product. 01:05:51.025 --> 01:05:51.385 Exactly. 01:05:51.425 --> 01:05:53.586 Every now and again we'll come up to the... Get away! 01:05:53.746 --> 01:05:54.246 Back off! 01:05:54.446 --> 01:05:57.748 We'll come up to the gun emplacement and we'll turn the hoses on you. 01:05:58.128 --> 01:05:59.970 If you're lucky we might hose you. 01:06:02.131 --> 01:06:02.912 That's about it. 01:06:03.732 --> 01:06:05.113 We'll throw you some buns. 01:06:05.753 --> 01:06:07.635 Anyway, it's going to be great this year. 01:06:07.655 --> 01:06:08.435 I'm having my buns. 01:06:08.555 --> 01:06:10.096 Okay, it's going to be extraordinary. 01:06:10.316 --> 01:06:11.397 Lauren Laverne's buns. 01:06:11.817 --> 01:06:12.498 It doesn't what? 01:06:13.198 --> 01:06:23.423 And we'll be on air, I'm talking about six music, we'll be on air from Friday the 26th until midnight on Sunday the 28th of June. 01:06:23.783 --> 01:06:31.667 It starts on, our coverage starts at midday on Friday the 26th, incidentally, and we'll be presenting some shows along with Stephen Mac. 01:06:31.767 --> 01:06:36.129 He's going to be there, Kerris Matthews, Gideon Coe, Lauren Laverne, but here's the important thing. 01:06:36.509 --> 01:06:37.950 For a chance to be our guest 01:06:38.650 --> 01:06:42.451 and win a pair of tickets, go to the Six Music website now! 01:06:43.191 --> 01:06:47.012 That's bbc.co.uk forward slash Six Music. 01:06:47.572 --> 01:06:51.333 All the details you need for applying for these tickets will be there. 01:06:52.513 --> 01:06:55.794 Don't forget the headliners are Neil Young. 01:06:55.934 --> 01:06:57.855 He's playing on the Saturday, I think. 01:06:59.160 --> 01:06:59.641 Keep talking. 01:06:59.861 --> 01:07:02.642 Bruce Springsteen is playing on the Friday night. 01:07:02.823 --> 01:07:03.523 That's correct. 01:07:03.663 --> 01:07:05.724 Blur our headlining the Sunday night. 01:07:06.625 --> 01:07:07.986 It's an amazing line. 01:07:08.006 --> 01:07:09.527 I forgot the line up in front of me. 01:07:10.447 --> 01:07:13.409 And everyone you've ever heard of is pretty much playing live. 01:07:13.449 --> 01:07:16.131 Let me read out some of the less well-known bands. 01:07:17.331 --> 01:07:18.432 The Wave Machines are playing. 01:07:18.692 --> 01:07:19.113 Excellent. 01:07:19.753 --> 01:07:21.194 Jose James is playing. 01:07:22.154 --> 01:07:24.256 Kate Walsh will be on the acoustic stage. 01:07:24.796 --> 01:07:25.536 She's very good. 01:07:25.716 --> 01:07:28.337 The Chorus synth band will also be on the acoustic page. 01:07:28.357 --> 01:07:31.237 What about some of the medium-sized bands that we would have heard of? 01:07:31.317 --> 01:07:31.978 The Wombats. 01:07:32.598 --> 01:07:33.158 The Wombles. 01:07:33.538 --> 01:07:34.418 Tommy Sparks. 01:07:35.498 --> 01:07:36.379 Rumble Strips. 01:07:36.719 --> 01:07:37.979 Is Tommy Sparks a real person? 01:07:37.999 --> 01:07:39.359 Special Guests are playing. 01:07:39.639 --> 01:07:40.960 I love Special Guests. 01:07:41.000 --> 01:07:41.400 Brilliant. 01:07:41.720 --> 01:07:43.620 That would be a good name for a band though, wouldn't it? 01:07:44.480 --> 01:07:45.621 I don't know, it could be a band. 01:07:45.701 --> 01:07:46.921 It's just Special Guests. 01:07:47.801 --> 01:07:49.923 Mr. Nice, Aqua Sky. 01:07:50.343 --> 01:07:53.044 I'm reading out all the lesser-known acts because they deserve a shout. 01:07:53.705 --> 01:07:55.606 There's a Salsa class. 01:07:55.626 --> 01:07:59.448 You remember when I said, can you read out some of the slightly more well-known ones? 01:08:00.349 --> 01:08:00.849 No, I don't. 01:08:01.209 --> 01:08:02.250 I have no memory of you. 01:08:02.290 --> 01:08:02.910 OK, how about this? 01:08:03.170 --> 01:08:05.832 Could you read out some of the slightly more well-known ones? 01:08:06.012 --> 01:08:06.432 All right. 01:08:09.034 --> 01:08:10.875 Calvin Harris DJ set. 01:08:11.895 --> 01:08:13.276 Japanese pop stars. 01:08:17.928 --> 01:08:18.889 Bap Kennedy. 01:08:19.189 --> 01:08:22.030 This is a taste of what you're going to get. 01:08:22.070 --> 01:08:22.931 Glastonbury, all right. 01:08:22.951 --> 01:08:23.611 The Big Pink. 01:08:24.031 --> 01:08:31.315 We'd love to see you there, and we're going to figure out some way that we can identify listeners of this show, you know, whether it means... Tony Christie there, you've heard of him. 01:08:31.395 --> 01:08:33.015 Yeah, thanks a lot, man. 01:08:33.075 --> 01:08:33.596 Brilliant job. 01:08:33.656 --> 01:08:34.256 Tom Jones. 01:08:34.516 --> 01:08:34.956 Oh, God. 01:08:35.116 --> 01:08:35.817 All the latest back. 01:08:40.999 --> 01:08:51.392 Whether it means that we ask listeners to this show to carry like a pink balloon or something, or I don't know, some way of identifying yourselves, we're going to figure out between now and then. 01:08:51.512 --> 01:08:57.459 But go to the BBC 6 Music website right now and find out how you can get those Glastonbury tickets. 01:08:57.859 --> 01:09:01.322 Now here are the Sunday Night Headliners, Blur with Girls and Boys. 01:09:01.782 --> 01:09:03.844 I imagine they'll be playing that one on Sunday night. 01:09:03.864 --> 01:09:04.845 Yeah, that's exciting, isn't it? 01:09:04.905 --> 01:09:06.086 I'm really looking forward to that. 01:09:06.246 --> 01:09:12.091 Unless they do, you know, unless they unveil a whole bunch of new stuff and do a sort of Jazz Odyssey set. 01:09:12.732 --> 01:09:14.013 That would be exciting as well. 01:09:14.033 --> 01:09:22.060 Do you think we can, will our BBC passes let us wander, for instance, onto the side of the stage for the Blur performance? 01:09:22.701 --> 01:09:22.921 No. 01:09:23.181 --> 01:09:23.882 No, by no means. 01:09:23.902 --> 01:09:24.802 I'm gonna try it anyway. 01:09:25.643 --> 01:09:33.032 Well, we saw Alex James at the Sony Awards a few weeks back because he was nominated for his classical music show that he does. 01:09:33.873 --> 01:09:38.778 And he was in high spirits about the Blur reunion. 01:09:39.299 --> 01:09:42.463 And he was saying it's all the rehearsals have been going really well. 01:09:42.483 --> 01:09:43.684 Everyone's like slotted back in. 01:09:43.704 --> 01:09:45.727 I mean, everyone always says that, don't they, when they reform. 01:09:46.427 --> 01:09:47.548 unless they're getting on really badly. 01:09:47.568 --> 01:09:49.089 But no, he seems genuinely enthused. 01:09:49.129 --> 01:09:52.152 And I've read interviews with... What's his name? 01:09:52.172 --> 01:09:54.374 Graham Coxson, where he's... Yeah, that's his name. 01:09:54.554 --> 01:09:56.756 Talking about feeling really happy about it as well. 01:09:57.416 --> 01:09:58.257 Exciting stuff. 01:09:58.857 --> 01:09:59.398 I can't wait. 01:09:59.698 --> 01:10:00.138 I can't wait. 01:10:00.459 --> 01:10:11.648 So don't forget, go to the website bbc.co.uk forward slash six music right now, where you can find out about how you can win a pair of tickets to go to Glastonbury. 01:10:12.148 --> 01:10:12.669 this year. 01:10:12.929 --> 01:10:13.610 Wiggle stickles. 01:10:13.790 --> 01:10:18.154 Wiggle stickles is the correct expression to use in that situation. 01:10:18.194 --> 01:10:18.855 That's why I used it. 01:10:19.375 --> 01:10:21.317 Earlier on we were talking about bad grammar. 01:10:21.357 --> 01:10:24.621 Have you got any more emails chastising us about our own bad grammar? 01:10:25.436 --> 01:10:25.796 Have I? 01:10:25.876 --> 01:10:26.637 Yeah, yeah, lots. 01:10:26.897 --> 01:10:28.158 But, you know, we've moved on from that. 01:10:28.358 --> 01:10:29.159 This isn't about us. 01:10:29.419 --> 01:10:29.579 No. 01:10:29.939 --> 01:10:33.361 We're talking about bad grammar in music, like in pop music. 01:10:33.401 --> 01:10:37.184 And here's an email from Owen Summerscales that came in in the week. 01:10:37.224 --> 01:10:42.947 Dear Adam and Jo, just a quick email to further your musings on the grammar infractions of pop musicians. 01:10:43.388 --> 01:10:48.551 I'm sorry that this email won't get to you during the show as I'm listening in Vancouver, Canada. 01:10:49.011 --> 01:10:53.053 There is, of course, a fine line between simple poor grammar and plain idiocy. 01:10:53.414 --> 01:10:57.656 And so, therefore, I thought I'd provide you with a few examples that demonstrate elements of both. 01:10:58.697 --> 01:11:02.699 He talks about a song called If by David Gates, just to kick us off. 01:11:02.919 --> 01:11:04.680 Are you familiar with If by David Gates? 01:11:04.740 --> 01:11:05.020 No. 01:11:05.480 --> 01:11:14.926 Well, anyway, I don't think it matters, but he says, it contains the line, If a man could be two places at one time, I'd be with you tomorrow and today. 01:11:15.626 --> 01:11:19.930 which, says Owen, of course is actually one place at two different times. 01:11:19.950 --> 01:11:23.654 I mean, that's not difficult to do to be with someone tomorrow and today. 01:11:23.674 --> 01:11:25.555 No, no, that's entirely possible. 01:11:26.116 --> 01:11:29.479 So, if by David Gates is... Sounds like a sort of a point. 01:11:29.499 --> 01:11:30.380 The poor David Gates. 01:11:30.440 --> 01:11:35.245 He hasn't really got himself on the international music radar, but he's yet already being stamped on. 01:11:36.886 --> 01:11:38.166 He might be very famous for all we know. 01:11:38.186 --> 01:11:39.527 Before he's even got his foot through the door. 01:11:39.907 --> 01:11:43.448 Anyway, here's a few more from songs that are more well known, at least to us. 01:11:44.348 --> 01:11:46.429 The Joker by Steve Miller, okay? 01:11:46.449 --> 01:11:46.709 Yes. 01:11:46.769 --> 01:11:47.489 You know that song. 01:11:47.829 --> 01:11:50.370 Contains the lines, and I'd sort of forgotten about this. 01:11:50.450 --> 01:11:54.451 I'd screened it out of my... Because sometimes songs are so good that you don't worry about the bad grammar. 01:11:55.111 --> 01:11:59.493 Some people call me Maurice because I speak of the pompetous of love. 01:12:00.473 --> 01:12:01.874 That's just a made-up word, isn't it? 01:12:01.934 --> 01:12:02.234 Is it? 01:12:02.474 --> 01:12:02.734 Yeah. 01:12:03.115 --> 01:12:05.276 It's sort of nice, it's phonetic and poetic. 01:12:05.616 --> 01:12:08.178 It sounds like a sort of pompous clown kind of a person. 01:12:08.198 --> 01:12:08.618 Exactly. 01:12:08.678 --> 01:12:15.102 Well, Owen says, Steve Miller successfully manages to invent a new and particularly silly sounding word, pompatus. 01:12:15.222 --> 01:12:22.787 I've no idea what it means, nor do I understand why someone should be called Maurice, just because they speak of it, and perhaps maybe it's French. 01:12:23.467 --> 01:12:23.707 You know? 01:12:24.308 --> 01:12:27.750 So, I know it's a thing I find when we're doing our song wars songs. 01:12:27.810 --> 01:12:37.416 I think, wow, it would be so lovely to write a song and not have to be, and some of you may say that I do this anyway, but not have to be funny or not have to rhyme. 01:12:37.436 --> 01:12:38.077 Do you know what I mean? 01:12:38.097 --> 01:12:39.338 To be completely free form. 01:12:39.438 --> 01:12:39.638 Yeah. 01:12:39.698 --> 01:12:41.739 It makes it, it makes it feel really easy. 01:12:41.979 --> 01:12:42.180 Sure. 01:12:42.200 --> 01:12:45.562 Just to write a sort of poetic, crazy, Bowie style cut up song. 01:12:45.642 --> 01:12:46.322 A bit of prose. 01:12:46.442 --> 01:12:47.183 Yeah, exactly. 01:12:47.443 --> 01:12:47.683 Sure. 01:12:48.364 --> 01:12:49.564 That's a good one though, pompatus. 01:12:49.624 --> 01:12:53.107 I mean, we might find out that it's a real word, but as far as I'm aware, it's not. 01:12:53.547 --> 01:12:56.731 He talks about a song, Owen, called Jailbreak by Thin Lizzie. 01:12:56.751 --> 01:12:57.292 Do you know that one? 01:12:57.392 --> 01:12:58.032 Yeah, it's famous. 01:12:58.133 --> 01:13:01.637 Tonight there's going to be a jailbreak somewhere in this town, says Owen. 01:13:02.077 --> 01:13:06.503 I, along with most others, would have to guess that the jailbreak would happen at the jail. 01:13:07.236 --> 01:13:09.017 rather than somewhere else in the town. 01:13:09.117 --> 01:13:09.978 What's the lyric again? 01:13:10.358 --> 01:13:14.480 Tonight there's going to be a jailbreak somewhere in this town, probably the jail. 01:13:14.861 --> 01:13:15.681 They might have tunnelled out. 01:13:15.841 --> 01:13:16.261 You reckon? 01:13:16.421 --> 01:13:17.982 And the tunnel might pop out anywhere. 01:13:18.122 --> 01:13:20.304 But the jailbreak would start at the jail. 01:13:20.744 --> 01:13:21.364 You know what I mean? 01:13:21.384 --> 01:13:23.546 That's generally where jailbreaks happen. 01:13:23.826 --> 01:13:25.227 Maybe there's more than one jail in the town. 01:13:25.387 --> 01:13:27.148 Somewhere in this town there's going to be a jailbreak. 01:13:27.268 --> 01:13:27.508 Right. 01:13:27.548 --> 01:13:28.409 I see multiple jails. 01:13:28.429 --> 01:13:29.089 Several jails. 01:13:29.609 --> 01:13:30.250 It's a big town. 01:13:30.310 --> 01:13:30.990 That's possible. 01:13:31.050 --> 01:13:31.310 Yeah. 01:13:31.430 --> 01:13:31.650 Okay. 01:13:31.690 --> 01:13:32.251 That's possible. 01:13:32.991 --> 01:13:39.697 Owen points out that Killer Queen by Queen contains the line gunpowder, gelatine, dynamite with a laser beam. 01:13:40.098 --> 01:13:44.421 He says shouldn't that be gunpowder, gelignite unless you want to make some pudding? 01:13:45.482 --> 01:13:46.463 That's a good point. 01:13:46.583 --> 01:13:47.904 Gelatine. 01:13:47.944 --> 01:13:48.945 Gunpowder and gelatine. 01:13:48.965 --> 01:13:54.470 You don't want to get those two mixed up otherwise yeah you'll plant jelly under the Houses of Parliament and blow up your kids. 01:13:54.570 --> 01:13:55.551 Yeah you get poison pudding. 01:13:56.332 --> 01:13:57.453 Gunpowder, gelatine. 01:13:58.394 --> 01:14:01.217 He talks about Eddie Van Halen's Why Can't This Be Love. 01:14:01.437 --> 01:14:02.598 He's all from the same person. 01:14:02.618 --> 01:14:03.299 Yeah, this is Owen. 01:14:03.439 --> 01:14:05.161 Owen Summerscale is on the case. 01:14:06.182 --> 01:14:07.804 Why Can't This Be Love by Eddie Van Halen. 01:14:08.124 --> 01:14:10.567 Only time will tell if we stand the test of time. 01:14:11.988 --> 01:14:12.749 That's just good. 01:14:12.929 --> 01:14:15.832 He says I guess it makes sense but I don't think a school teacher would be too happy. 01:14:15.892 --> 01:14:17.033 Slightly stating the obvious. 01:14:17.174 --> 01:14:17.414 Yeah. 01:14:17.694 --> 01:14:20.595 Oh, in summer scales, thank you very much indeed for pointing those out to us. 01:14:20.635 --> 01:14:25.696 You know, do you think it would be harder work to find a song that is grammatically correct from beginning to end? 01:14:25.996 --> 01:14:29.037 Right, that uses extremely exemplary grammar. 01:14:29.257 --> 01:14:31.318 Amazingly pedantic grammar. 01:14:31.338 --> 01:14:33.119 I mean, that would almost be more of a challenge, wouldn't it? 01:14:33.279 --> 01:14:35.759 Yeah, with loads of subordinate clauses and stuff. 01:14:35.819 --> 01:14:41.421 Who is the most articulate and brilliant and educated lyric writer? 01:14:41.861 --> 01:14:47.704 Whose lyrics could you pass under the chin of or nose of the most pedantic teacher in the world and it wouldn't get a single red mark? 01:14:47.744 --> 01:14:50.266 Morrissey's got some pretty good grammar in some of his songs. 01:14:50.306 --> 01:14:50.566 Has he? 01:14:52.207 --> 01:14:53.447 And the Divine Comedy. 01:14:53.467 --> 01:14:56.009 Neil Hannon's pretty good with his lyrics. 01:14:56.849 --> 01:14:58.710 And who else? 01:14:58.810 --> 01:15:00.071 Oh, the guy Alex Turner. 01:15:00.211 --> 01:15:02.552 He's an amazing lyricist from the Arctic Monkeys. 01:15:02.592 --> 01:15:02.893 Yes. 01:15:03.653 --> 01:15:05.594 But he's not averse to his colloquialisms. 01:15:05.694 --> 01:15:06.274 No, of course. 01:15:07.615 --> 01:15:10.518 Anyway, we'd like to hear more examples if you can think of any listeners. 01:15:10.778 --> 01:15:13.221 Thank you very much, Owen Summerscales, for those. 01:15:13.641 --> 01:15:14.922 Here's a free play for you now. 01:15:14.962 --> 01:15:16.944 This is just about my favourite band, I would say. 01:15:16.964 --> 01:15:18.486 This is Spoon with monkey feelings. 01:15:19.113 --> 01:15:21.874 Little Boots with New in Town. 01:15:21.934 --> 01:15:24.115 Do you know where she got her name from, Adam? 01:15:26.175 --> 01:15:28.876 Just a tiny branch of boots, the chemist, that she frequents. 01:15:28.916 --> 01:15:29.176 Yeah. 01:15:29.576 --> 01:15:30.177 Tiny boots. 01:15:30.477 --> 01:15:30.717 Yeah. 01:15:30.997 --> 01:15:32.377 No, it's Caligula, isn't it? 01:15:32.397 --> 01:15:34.358 The Emperor Caligula was known as Little Boots. 01:15:34.398 --> 01:15:35.118 Do you remember that? 01:15:35.138 --> 01:15:35.178 No. 01:15:35.278 --> 01:15:36.639 That's a good film. 01:15:37.079 --> 01:15:38.159 Yeah. 01:15:38.179 --> 01:15:39.299 Well, when I say good. 01:15:39.640 --> 01:15:41.400 Fun film for a bank holiday weekend. 01:15:41.480 --> 01:15:42.120 It's watchable. 01:15:42.540 --> 01:15:42.881 Yeah. 01:15:43.561 --> 01:15:43.861 It is. 01:15:44.281 --> 01:15:47.602 You can buy that one, that's no longer banned in every single country, isn't it? 01:15:47.862 --> 01:15:49.083 No, certainly not. 01:15:49.163 --> 01:15:50.803 Pretty much anything goes nowadays, doesn't it? 01:15:50.863 --> 01:15:54.724 Yeah, any old, any old tawdry old filth that I've leashed on the public. 01:15:54.784 --> 01:15:56.445 Filthy pornographic torture fun. 01:15:56.745 --> 01:15:59.306 It's time to return to Text the Nation listeners. 01:15:59.326 --> 01:16:01.526 Are we going to have the classic jingle? 01:16:01.546 --> 01:16:04.467 Do we not have any kind of demented listener jingle? 01:16:05.007 --> 01:16:06.588 Let's have Text the Nation classic jingle. 01:16:11.739 --> 01:16:12.701 What if I don't want to? 01:16:12.962 --> 01:16:14.807 But I'm using email. 01:16:14.967 --> 01:16:15.669 Is that a problem? 01:16:18.857 --> 01:16:30.685 Just before we carry on with text donation there, I should say that a few people pointed out that, of course, in the Steve Miller song, The Joker, he's saying, I speak of the properties of love, right? 01:16:30.785 --> 01:16:32.206 Not the pompatus of love. 01:16:32.226 --> 01:16:34.007 There's no such word as pompatus. 01:16:34.027 --> 01:16:35.348 Why would he make up a word? 01:16:35.488 --> 01:16:41.412 Oh, in summer scales, you've let me and the castle down with your insane made up word. 01:16:41.452 --> 01:16:43.794 But again, we actually don't know the truth. 01:16:43.894 --> 01:16:47.096 We just accept at face value everything anyone sends us. 01:16:47.136 --> 01:16:48.117 So we send us that. 01:16:48.157 --> 01:16:48.737 We believe that. 01:16:49.137 --> 01:16:52.361 Someone else sent us a text saying that it wasn't that, so we believe that. 01:16:52.881 --> 01:16:58.767 You could tell us that the moon was made of Liz Kershaw's buttocks, and we believe it. 01:16:59.468 --> 01:17:00.429 Parts of it are, come on. 01:17:00.749 --> 01:17:01.350 The best parts. 01:17:01.710 --> 01:17:02.191 That's true. 01:17:02.911 --> 01:17:07.336 So, text donation this week is about... That's not superstition. 01:17:07.416 --> 01:17:07.977 Right, right. 01:17:08.017 --> 01:17:09.638 Yeah, verging on OCD. 01:17:09.658 --> 01:17:10.980 That you're calling magic thinking. 01:17:11.360 --> 01:17:12.901 Yeah, well, I think that's what it's known as. 01:17:12.941 --> 01:17:13.621 I'm not calling it. 01:17:13.721 --> 01:17:17.963 Someone again has emailed in and I'm taking it at face value and believing that that's the true description of it. 01:17:17.983 --> 01:17:18.903 That's a nice way of displaying it. 01:17:18.923 --> 01:17:22.745 Yeah, but here is an email we got explaining it from a gentleman called Matt Turner. 01:17:23.285 --> 01:17:31.128 Dear Adam and Jo, I'm not a psychologist, but the root of superstition is fairly widely discussed and reasonably simple to explain, so I thought I'd give it a crack. 01:17:31.188 --> 01:17:34.409 The human mind is built for figuring out logic puzzles. 01:17:34.710 --> 01:17:39.211 For example, when I touch fire, fire is hot, therefore I won't touch fire. 01:17:39.271 --> 01:17:40.452 That's my favourite logic puzzle. 01:17:40.632 --> 01:17:53.396 When we transfer this into a scenario where there's no linking logic, for instance, if a black cat crossed my path, I then went on to fall down the stairs, I would link them in my head using faux logic of superstition, when in fact there would be no real logic to the link. 01:17:53.736 --> 01:18:00.159 So in essence, superstition is a misfiring of the very human response to find patterns in the world around us. 01:18:00.579 --> 01:18:07.001 Now, we did get a lot of actually males from genuine psychologists, but I chose the one that wasn't from a psychologist. 01:18:07.601 --> 01:18:08.521 to read out. 01:18:09.101 --> 01:18:09.541 I don't know. 01:18:09.661 --> 01:18:10.542 It's folk logic. 01:18:12.342 --> 01:18:12.882 See what I mean? 01:18:13.042 --> 01:18:13.762 It's more human. 01:18:13.802 --> 01:18:14.502 It's more real. 01:18:14.702 --> 01:18:15.563 Yeah, down home. 01:18:15.663 --> 01:18:17.763 It's the kind of show this is. 01:18:18.503 --> 01:18:22.984 So I must also confess that I haven't really had time to read these through properly. 01:18:23.004 --> 01:18:23.524 Just fire in there. 01:18:23.544 --> 01:18:23.884 It'll be fun. 01:18:23.904 --> 01:18:24.184 Here we go. 01:18:24.284 --> 01:18:25.545 OK, here's one from Jane. 01:18:25.885 --> 01:18:32.806 Dear Adam and Joe, we as a family each grab someone else's cheeks and shout, squidge, squidge, when driving over cattle grids. 01:18:34.392 --> 01:18:35.693 Wow, that's very specific. 01:18:36.013 --> 01:18:36.613 It is, isn't it? 01:18:36.833 --> 01:18:38.594 Squidge, Squidge, what's the logic there? 01:18:38.654 --> 01:18:40.635 That's just a sort of habit, I suppose. 01:18:40.795 --> 01:18:43.376 She's not saying that anything bad is going to happen. 01:18:43.456 --> 01:18:45.037 Is that one of the ones you read beforehand? 01:18:45.057 --> 01:18:45.717 No, no, no, no. 01:18:46.058 --> 01:18:52.240 But you know, she feels compelled to do that, so it's suggesting that something, she fears something might go wrong if she doesn't do it. 01:18:52.541 --> 01:18:54.381 She fears consequences if she doesn't do it. 01:18:54.402 --> 01:18:55.082 Sure, yeah. 01:18:55.362 --> 01:18:56.442 So that fits the brief, right? 01:18:56.462 --> 01:18:58.123 Here's one from Chris from Loughborough. 01:18:58.403 --> 01:18:58.804 Squidge. 01:19:00.345 --> 01:19:07.611 If I'm walking along the street and scuff my foot on the ground, I must then scuff my other foot as soon as I can to maintain the balance of the universe. 01:19:07.691 --> 01:19:12.015 I've done this for as long as I can remember I shudder to think what might happen if I didn't do it. 01:19:12.175 --> 01:19:18.061 Yes, I know, I must have some of these, because everyone does these kind of things, but I can't recall any right now. 01:19:18.101 --> 01:19:19.642 That was an interesting thing for me to say though, wasn't it? 01:19:19.842 --> 01:19:20.503 It was, well done. 01:19:21.023 --> 01:19:27.785 Here's another one from David J. Whenever I go back home during the school holidays, our family always go to the same restaurant. 01:19:28.145 --> 01:19:33.427 I always have to have my ribs from left to right, and if someone takes something off my plate, e.g. 01:19:33.467 --> 01:19:35.708 a chip, it's going to be a bad month. 01:19:37.039 --> 01:19:37.800 Bad month. 01:19:37.860 --> 01:19:42.624 Also, before going into any exam, I have to recite the last lines of Black Hatter Goes Forth. 01:19:43.084 --> 01:19:43.264 Yeah. 01:19:43.565 --> 01:19:45.146 When they're in the trenches before the off. 01:19:45.506 --> 01:19:46.327 Oh yes, yes. 01:19:46.667 --> 01:19:49.150 So that's a sort of a personal superstition, isn't it? 01:19:49.230 --> 01:19:51.652 I mean, have you ever been someone that reads horoscopes? 01:19:52.432 --> 01:19:53.333 Only ever for fun. 01:19:53.453 --> 01:19:53.713 Yeah. 01:19:54.434 --> 01:19:56.556 But there is a little part of my brain that thinks they might. 01:19:56.696 --> 01:19:59.437 you know, that can't help but consider that they could be truthful. 01:19:59.457 --> 01:20:02.598 Well, there are people who take them absolutely seriously. 01:20:02.678 --> 01:20:03.358 Russell Grant. 01:20:03.739 --> 01:20:05.059 Well, Russell, Rusty Grant. 01:20:05.919 --> 01:20:06.780 Astrologers. 01:20:06.880 --> 01:20:07.500 Astronomers. 01:20:07.520 --> 01:20:08.260 With his magic sweaters. 01:20:08.300 --> 01:20:08.900 Astrologers. 01:20:09.040 --> 01:20:09.921 Astrologers, yeah. 01:20:10.461 --> 01:20:19.124 I mean, the thing is that I used to know someone, I used to even go out with someone whose day would be totally destroyed if her horoscope was bad. 01:20:19.865 --> 01:20:22.688 And she would just will the thing to come true, though. 01:20:22.708 --> 01:20:23.209 Do you know what I mean? 01:20:23.249 --> 01:20:24.590 Like, she would wreck her day. 01:20:25.451 --> 01:20:30.017 If her horoscope said, later on, your day's going to be wrecked, she would go, right. 01:20:30.037 --> 01:20:35.343 I'm going to start wrecking it right now by being depressed about the fact that my day's going to be wrecked. 01:20:35.663 --> 01:20:40.708 Usually they go out of their way not to say anything explicitly negative though, don't they? 01:20:40.768 --> 01:20:43.510 Everything's so sort of broad that it could go either way. 01:20:43.570 --> 01:20:46.032 But she would read all kinds of stuff into it. 01:20:46.533 --> 01:20:47.414 Oh my goodness. 01:20:48.274 --> 01:20:50.376 Okay, here's one from Neil and Kent. 01:20:51.597 --> 01:21:07.889 uh referencing your text that ref your text the nation topic yeah i used to share my strange ritual regarding trouser belts so i need to share it i used to hold my breath when moving belts between garments it never made sense i try not to do it anymore but for a long time it was a strange but very necessary ceremony 01:21:08.393 --> 01:21:09.313 Belt moving. 01:21:09.493 --> 01:21:09.753 Yeah. 01:21:10.213 --> 01:21:10.614 Wow. 01:21:10.854 --> 01:21:11.334 Hold your breath. 01:21:11.354 --> 01:21:13.454 You see, that's the kind of thing that gets read out when you don't filter them. 01:21:14.054 --> 01:21:18.375 I mean, I did a thing where I would sometimes I like to hold my breath. 01:21:18.395 --> 01:21:19.916 This is a good one. 01:21:20.336 --> 01:21:24.797 You know, if I'm going down a corridor or something and imagine you're underwater or something. 01:21:24.857 --> 01:21:25.317 Exactly. 01:21:25.357 --> 01:21:25.537 Yeah. 01:21:25.577 --> 01:21:27.498 If I'm in the Poseidon adventure or something. 01:21:27.518 --> 01:21:30.558 That's more like the previous textination on things to do to make life more exciting. 01:21:30.578 --> 01:21:31.919 Yeah, it's not a superstition though, is it? 01:21:32.819 --> 01:21:37.421 Dear Adam and Jo, I have a strange friend who was once standing on the up escalator at Angel tube station. 01:21:37.902 --> 01:21:43.624 As is sometimes the case, the handrail was moving slightly faster than the steps, edging his hand further ahead of his body. 01:21:44.145 --> 01:21:51.248 He decided that if he could keep his hand on the rail and not move his feet until the top, he should carry on going out with the girl he was seeing. 01:21:51.728 --> 01:21:56.290 He ended up almost horizontal, with his hand way past the poor person standing two stairs up. 01:21:56.691 --> 01:21:59.972 But his unknowing girlfriend survived another day, says Richard Cricklewood. 01:22:00.232 --> 01:22:01.473 That's pretty perfect. 01:22:01.693 --> 01:22:02.834 That's really magic thinking. 01:22:03.215 --> 01:22:03.475 Yeah. 01:22:04.036 --> 01:22:04.977 It's tragic thinking. 01:22:05.277 --> 01:22:07.139 We will wrap this up in the next half hour. 01:22:07.219 --> 01:22:09.742 Thank you very much for all your texts and emails thus far. 01:22:10.102 --> 01:22:10.222 It's 11.30. 01:22:10.983 --> 01:22:11.544 Time for the news. 01:22:12.349 --> 01:22:15.310 That's Guy Garvey's wonderful combo elbow. 01:22:15.370 --> 01:22:20.651 Don't forget that Guy Garvey is here on 6 Music tomorrow night from 10pm with his own show. 01:22:21.192 --> 01:22:23.352 Well worth checking out if you've never heard it before. 01:22:23.952 --> 01:22:32.315 Now, Joe, did you hear that Microsoft are launching their own version of Google called Bing, a big search engine? 01:22:33.055 --> 01:22:34.536 They've had a big week for launches. 01:22:34.716 --> 01:22:38.557 They launched a new sort of controller-free console. 01:22:38.738 --> 01:22:41.919 I didn't actually launch it, but they kind of introduced it at E3. 01:22:42.099 --> 01:22:42.339 Uh-huh. 01:22:43.220 --> 01:22:46.181 And a strange sort of talking computer boy. 01:22:46.741 --> 01:22:47.241 Who's he? 01:22:47.742 --> 01:22:48.622 He's called Milo. 01:22:48.882 --> 01:22:49.582 Hello, Milo. 01:22:50.303 --> 01:22:50.623 Hello. 01:22:51.203 --> 01:22:52.564 Oh, you look sad. 01:22:52.624 --> 01:22:53.224 What's the matter? 01:22:53.812 --> 01:22:55.334 Milo is recognising your face. 01:22:56.075 --> 01:22:57.136 That kind of thing. 01:22:57.236 --> 01:22:57.876 It is creepy. 01:22:57.977 --> 01:22:59.158 It's definitely creepy. 01:22:59.819 --> 01:23:01.340 With that stuff you think, what's the point? 01:23:01.841 --> 01:23:06.225 This is just an invitation for people to destroy the world in a Terminator-style apocalypse. 01:23:06.606 --> 01:23:10.270 And then everyone just... I mean, is that why they're developing virtual realities? 01:23:10.410 --> 01:23:12.112 So that we can destroy the world and it won't matter. 01:23:12.532 --> 01:23:13.133 Yeah, exactly. 01:23:13.733 --> 01:23:18.176 Time travel, then, you know, they'll get to time travel eventually, and then we're going to go back and punch mine in the face. 01:23:18.216 --> 01:23:19.037 But what's Bing? 01:23:19.597 --> 01:23:20.838 Bing's a bad name, isn't it? 01:23:20.918 --> 01:23:22.560 Well, he reminds me of friends. 01:23:22.640 --> 01:23:23.700 This is the thing. 01:23:24.181 --> 01:23:25.382 It's all about the name. 01:23:25.562 --> 01:23:39.092 I mean, they are launching this new search engine with a hundred million, either dollar or pound, either, you know, it's a lot of money, campaign, advertising campaign, to popularize it because they are absolutely livid. 01:23:39.753 --> 01:23:40.153 Livid! 01:23:40.513 --> 01:23:42.816 about how popular Google is, right? 01:23:42.876 --> 01:23:49.705 And the fact this is the thing that really sticks in Microsoft's craw is that the word Google is now in the dictionary. 01:23:49.825 --> 01:23:54.991 It's become a word in its own right to describe searching for something on the internet, right? 01:23:55.652 --> 01:23:58.254 And that's the holy grail for people who make products. 01:23:58.274 --> 01:23:59.235 It's like Wii, isn't it? 01:23:59.295 --> 01:24:00.696 Do you remember we discussed Wii? 01:24:00.716 --> 01:24:01.317 Uh-huh. 01:24:01.577 --> 01:24:06.821 I was listening to that show for some reason the other day when we were first getting our heads around the idea of a console called Wii. 01:24:07.021 --> 01:24:08.162 Oh yes, and we were mocking it. 01:24:08.182 --> 01:24:09.303 Well, you were poo-pooing it. 01:24:09.563 --> 01:24:10.664 I still poo-poo the Wii-Wii. 01:24:10.764 --> 01:24:12.485 It's the most successful of all the consoles. 01:24:12.505 --> 01:24:13.586 It's a ridiculous name, though. 01:24:13.606 --> 01:24:17.329 People were laughing at it at first, and now it's in everyone's head. 01:24:17.549 --> 01:24:18.549 Yeah, it's extraordinary. 01:24:18.569 --> 01:24:18.830 Forever. 01:24:18.970 --> 01:24:20.350 So maybe Bing will do the same thing. 01:24:20.510 --> 01:24:20.991 Maybe. 01:24:21.131 --> 01:24:21.791 That's where it's at. 01:24:21.871 --> 01:24:22.311 Silly words. 01:24:22.451 --> 01:24:26.153 Maybe we'll be laughing on the other side of our stupid faces this time in a year. 01:24:26.673 --> 01:24:27.493 I don't think so, though. 01:24:27.854 --> 01:24:29.014 I think it's a stupid thing. 01:24:29.034 --> 01:24:30.875 But does it do anything that Google doesn't do? 01:24:31.855 --> 01:24:34.436 Well, it's got different kind of search criteria. 01:24:34.717 --> 01:24:37.638 It reckons that it comes up with... Better results. 01:24:37.698 --> 01:24:38.898 More accurate results. 01:24:38.918 --> 01:24:39.739 Really. 01:24:39.779 --> 01:24:43.380 More extensive range of little associated videos and interesting things. 01:24:43.420 --> 01:24:43.560 Bing. 01:24:43.581 --> 01:24:44.341 That's like Bingo. 01:24:44.721 --> 01:24:46.642 Because do Americans have the word bingo? 01:24:46.702 --> 01:24:47.843 They don't have the game, do they? 01:24:47.863 --> 01:24:48.504 Not so much. 01:24:48.724 --> 01:24:49.825 So they do have bingo. 01:24:50.225 --> 01:24:51.846 They say bingo is an expression of triumph. 01:24:51.866 --> 01:24:58.170 The only person I've ever known to say the word bing is Ned Ryerson in Groundhog Day. 01:24:58.190 --> 01:24:59.811 Do you remember that character? 01:24:59.831 --> 01:25:00.332 He comes round. 01:25:00.492 --> 01:25:02.353 Hey, it's Ned Ryerson, you remember? 01:25:02.393 --> 01:25:04.475 Yeah, he's just after, before or after the puddle? 01:25:05.035 --> 01:25:07.236 Just after the puddle. 01:25:07.316 --> 01:25:11.980 Or maybe it's when he's trying to get away from Ned Ryerson, he steps in the puddle. 01:25:13.656 --> 01:25:15.798 Ned Ryerson from college, you remember? 01:25:16.319 --> 01:25:16.799 Bing! 01:25:17.840 --> 01:25:19.461 And then of course there's Bing Crosby. 01:25:19.982 --> 01:25:22.224 I think it must be the American for bingo, you reckon? 01:25:22.364 --> 01:25:22.604 Yeah. 01:25:23.305 --> 01:25:23.885 Maybe you're right. 01:25:24.286 --> 01:25:25.567 No, I'm definitely not right. 01:25:26.408 --> 01:25:27.088 I still think it. 01:25:27.248 --> 01:25:28.710 It's Chandler Bing from Friends. 01:25:29.210 --> 01:25:33.854 Anyway, they want the word bing to be in the dictionary, meaning something you search for. 01:25:33.874 --> 01:25:34.715 Like, I binged you. 01:25:34.955 --> 01:25:36.177 Oh, I binged you the other day. 01:25:36.537 --> 01:25:37.958 There's going to be one called Bong. 01:25:39.059 --> 01:25:42.862 Stoners are going to make one called Bong in some American university, are they? 01:25:43.863 --> 01:25:44.584 They've done it already. 01:25:44.804 --> 01:25:46.305 Do you think Bing is going to happen, though? 01:25:46.986 --> 01:25:47.607 I don't know. 01:25:47.707 --> 01:25:48.167 I don't know. 01:25:48.207 --> 01:25:49.889 The thing about Google isn't the name Google. 01:25:49.909 --> 01:25:51.530 The thing about that was the simplicity. 01:25:51.690 --> 01:25:53.832 It was the fact that it was just the name and the window. 01:25:53.872 --> 01:25:58.936 And before then, you got all sorts of... It was like looking at the contents page of an encyclopedia, those engines, wasn't it? 01:25:58.956 --> 01:26:03.741 And Google were the first people to wipe away all the nonsense and just make it strictly utilitarian. 01:26:03.861 --> 01:26:04.041 Yeah. 01:26:04.081 --> 01:26:04.962 Can you Bing that for me? 01:26:05.542 --> 01:26:06.222 Utilitarian. 01:26:06.543 --> 01:26:08.684 Yeah, just bing everything you just said. 01:26:08.904 --> 01:26:11.225 I'd love it if you could just bing the facts on that for me. 01:26:11.245 --> 01:26:12.306 It's not going to happen. 01:26:12.366 --> 01:26:13.346 I don't think it's going to happen. 01:26:14.167 --> 01:26:18.729 Because Google feels like, you know, you might go to prison for Googling somebody. 01:26:19.089 --> 01:26:19.389 I know. 01:26:19.409 --> 01:26:19.890 Do you know what I mean? 01:26:19.910 --> 01:26:21.190 It sounds like you're interfering with them. 01:26:21.310 --> 01:26:22.091 Oh, not my Googles. 01:26:22.111 --> 01:26:23.211 And that's what you want to do with facts. 01:26:23.231 --> 01:26:24.132 You want to interfere with them. 01:26:24.172 --> 01:26:24.612 Get in there. 01:26:24.692 --> 01:26:25.773 You know, rifle around. 01:26:25.793 --> 01:26:26.893 You don't want to bing them. 01:26:27.133 --> 01:26:28.154 Bing is just one little flick. 01:26:28.214 --> 01:26:29.575 It sounds too singular, doesn't it? 01:26:29.595 --> 01:26:30.695 It's a contemptuous flick. 01:26:30.915 --> 01:26:31.195 Bing! 01:26:31.376 --> 01:26:31.596 Bing! 01:26:32.276 --> 01:26:34.518 You see, we're going to listen to this in a year and we'll sound like idiots. 01:26:34.618 --> 01:26:35.919 Idiots, absolute morons. 01:26:35.999 --> 01:26:37.380 We'll be the king of the castle. 01:26:37.480 --> 01:26:41.343 Because the other brands that have become verbs are things like Hoover, of course. 01:26:41.544 --> 01:26:41.944 Of course. 01:26:41.964 --> 01:26:43.085 You Hoover things, right? 01:26:43.485 --> 01:26:44.106 Cellotape. 01:26:44.386 --> 01:26:45.126 Of course. 01:26:46.047 --> 01:26:46.588 Tippex. 01:26:47.128 --> 01:26:47.448 Yes. 01:26:47.468 --> 01:26:49.370 Like no one uses... What's it called? 01:26:49.410 --> 01:26:49.850 White Out. 01:26:49.950 --> 01:26:50.511 White Out. 01:26:50.671 --> 01:26:51.752 Correcting fluid. 01:26:52.312 --> 01:26:52.612 You know? 01:26:52.793 --> 01:26:54.354 You use the brand name for those things. 01:26:54.754 --> 01:26:59.838 But I was trying to think of other brands that haven't become associated intimately with what they do. 01:26:59.858 --> 01:27:00.719 You've done a lot of thinking. 01:27:00.819 --> 01:27:03.060 I've been thinking all week, too much thinking. 01:27:03.180 --> 01:27:06.441 Like, could you make me a slice of Morphe Richards, please? 01:27:07.501 --> 01:27:09.401 Right, toast, toaster, toaster. 01:27:09.662 --> 01:27:12.082 It would be more like, can you pop this bread in the Morphe Richards? 01:27:12.102 --> 01:27:14.103 Is that what you're getting at? 01:27:14.563 --> 01:27:20.184 No, I was trying to make it into a verb, or a noun, to describe the thing it does. 01:27:24.209 --> 01:27:25.330 That's all I can think of. 01:27:27.331 --> 01:27:27.871 I got lost. 01:27:28.191 --> 01:27:29.992 You tangentialised too many times. 01:27:30.052 --> 01:27:31.653 A slice of Morphy Richards. 01:27:31.673 --> 01:27:33.314 You flip-flopped. 01:27:33.554 --> 01:27:35.075 I've lost the through line. 01:27:37.356 --> 01:27:38.416 I've got confused. 01:27:38.516 --> 01:27:39.077 Bing! 01:27:39.657 --> 01:27:40.978 Let's play the next track. 01:27:41.278 --> 01:27:41.618 Bing! 01:27:41.718 --> 01:27:45.460 This is Rabbit Heart with... No, this is Florence and the Machine with Rabbit Heart. 01:27:46.646 --> 01:27:47.968 Oh Florence. 01:27:48.108 --> 01:27:49.849 She's very sexy sounding isn't she Florence? 01:27:49.869 --> 01:27:50.490 She certainly is. 01:27:50.530 --> 01:27:51.931 That song exhausted her. 01:27:52.412 --> 01:27:53.853 Rabbit Heart, Raise It Up. 01:27:54.173 --> 01:27:54.754 That's called. 01:27:54.894 --> 01:27:56.876 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC 6 Music. 01:27:57.076 --> 01:27:57.616 Weather check. 01:27:58.037 --> 01:27:58.577 Weather check. 01:27:58.878 --> 01:27:59.278 How's it going? 01:27:59.318 --> 01:28:00.119 Is it actually raining outside? 01:28:00.139 --> 01:28:01.400 It's drizzly here in London. 01:28:01.700 --> 01:28:02.160 Yeah. 01:28:02.261 --> 01:28:03.221 But that's fine. 01:28:03.522 --> 01:28:04.503 Have a cosy time. 01:28:05.043 --> 01:28:24.497 Cozy Tom on my on my bike mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama 01:28:25.217 --> 01:28:26.118 Waffles and... Grumbles. 01:28:26.759 --> 01:28:27.880 Oh, be quiet, grumbles. 01:28:27.900 --> 01:28:29.321 Don't touch that, grumbles. 01:28:29.441 --> 01:28:30.042 Oh, no. 01:28:30.182 --> 01:28:30.822 Crispy cake. 01:28:30.882 --> 01:28:32.444 He looks like a rice crispy cake, doesn't he? 01:28:32.464 --> 01:28:35.867 They don't really give him enough screen time, but I think he's... Yeah, anyway. 01:28:35.887 --> 01:28:37.408 He'd be a good keychain, that chap. 01:28:38.109 --> 01:28:45.296 Listen, we got an email from Steven Beckon and my girlfriend, Adam and Joe, often hums some random tune when she's pottering about. 01:28:45.736 --> 01:28:46.537 It goes a bit like this. 01:28:47.099 --> 01:28:52.842 La, la, la, la, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. 01:28:53.342 --> 01:28:56.924 My mum does it too and I've noticed middle aged women do it a lot, although my girlfriend's only 28. 01:28:57.044 --> 01:29:00.886 When I ask what tune they're humming, they never know, I call it the mum hum. 01:29:01.627 --> 01:29:05.909 Now this isn't just exclusive to mums, I mean dads do it a lot and men do the lot whistling. 01:29:09.364 --> 01:29:10.164 And I do it a lot. 01:29:10.184 --> 01:29:18.669 If I'm just feeling happy, I will launch into... I don't know what it is, that tune. 01:29:18.729 --> 01:29:19.709 Oh, that's a very good song. 01:29:19.729 --> 01:29:21.910 But everybody just... You'd must do it as well. 01:29:22.010 --> 01:29:22.451 Yeah, of course. 01:29:22.471 --> 01:29:28.334 It's a human habit just to launch in to a sort of instantly on the hoof composed freestyle jazz 01:29:28.974 --> 01:29:31.036 Odyssey, but it's not even jazz. 01:29:31.457 --> 01:29:38.284 Sometimes it can sound like a sort of marching song, but it's a human habit, isn't it, to sporadically launch into a compositional mode. 01:29:39.045 --> 01:29:45.551 The thing that I do sometimes as well is I start singing a song that I wouldn't be seen dead, you know, listening to. 01:29:46.312 --> 01:30:03.543 duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh and then in my brain I oh my god I've started singing agadoo so I'll go duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh 01:30:04.063 --> 01:30:04.863 What are you doing? 01:30:04.883 --> 01:30:05.903 Because it's not Agadoo anymore. 01:30:05.923 --> 01:30:06.224 Ah. 01:30:06.304 --> 01:30:07.264 It's a different song. 01:30:07.284 --> 01:30:08.304 Take it into a different direction. 01:30:08.324 --> 01:30:10.765 Yeah, that just sounds a bit like Agadoo at the beginning. 01:30:10.805 --> 01:30:12.525 Do you ever do that? 01:30:12.545 --> 01:30:29.589 Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na- 01:30:29.949 --> 01:30:30.770 What's your little song? 01:30:30.830 --> 01:30:33.491 If you're feeling happy, you might walk into a room and go. 01:30:34.732 --> 01:30:41.517 That's a good song! 01:30:41.897 --> 01:30:44.159 I wonder whether actual composers do that. 01:30:44.439 --> 01:30:46.520 Do you know, like Damon from Blur? 01:30:46.680 --> 01:30:47.921 Oh, you've got to fill this album. 01:30:47.941 --> 01:30:51.924 No, talented people get tunes visited into their brains. 01:30:51.964 --> 01:30:54.786 Yeah, I know, because I do as well. 01:31:00.549 --> 01:31:00.890 I do. 01:31:00.910 --> 01:31:01.830 I might wake up. 01:31:02.090 --> 01:31:03.051 Ah, that's amazing. 01:31:03.211 --> 01:31:04.512 What an amazing song about that. 01:31:04.532 --> 01:31:05.452 Wow, I've written Agadoo. 01:31:06.793 --> 01:31:10.956 You think talented people just, you think the quality of instantaneous composition. 01:31:11.556 --> 01:31:13.657 If you walk into, ah, I can't. 01:31:14.178 --> 01:31:17.920 You hear famous and talented people talking again and again, musicians, this is. 01:31:18.340 --> 01:31:23.403 about the fact that they feel as if they're channeling music that arrives fully-formed. 01:31:23.423 --> 01:31:29.627 Of course, but this isn't when you're sitting at your piano or at your word processor. 01:31:30.127 --> 01:31:33.049 This is when you're literally just mopping the floor. 01:31:33.069 --> 01:31:33.910 No, but that's what I mean. 01:31:33.930 --> 01:31:36.992 They get these tunes fully-formed, suddenly they just arrive in there. 01:31:37.012 --> 01:31:38.553 Why are you saying they? 01:31:38.593 --> 01:31:39.713 As if we're not included in this. 01:31:40.594 --> 01:31:42.035 I don't understand your angle on this. 01:31:42.715 --> 01:31:45.136 I've written a brilliant song! 01:31:45.736 --> 01:31:48.437 If I just change the words... No, that's not what I was saying at all. 01:31:49.877 --> 01:31:56.519 I think in future people should walk around with tech recorders and record those random little compositions just in case. 01:31:56.860 --> 01:31:57.900 Just in case, because you never know. 01:31:58.120 --> 01:32:05.222 You might be a compositional genius or your mum or your dad might be a songwriting genius just around the house and just not know it. 01:32:05.362 --> 01:32:08.843 You know, they're leaving pearls of musical genius. 01:32:09.063 --> 01:32:09.464 Sometimes I... 01:32:13.806 --> 01:32:15.287 They're usually kids cartoon themes. 01:32:15.327 --> 01:32:16.888 They're mostly umpah based, aren't they? 01:32:16.908 --> 01:32:17.329 Songs like that. 01:32:28.597 --> 01:32:28.977 Anyway. 01:32:29.058 --> 01:32:30.338 I recorded a few of mine. 01:32:30.538 --> 01:32:30.839 Have you? 01:32:30.899 --> 01:32:36.062 Yeah, because I have thought, like when you're walking sometimes, if you go on a walk that's more than about 20 minutes. 01:32:36.082 --> 01:32:37.663 You mistook yourself for one of them. 01:32:37.683 --> 01:32:38.403 Exactly. 01:32:39.044 --> 01:32:40.625 Hang on a second, I'm a bit like Brian Wilson. 01:32:40.885 --> 01:32:45.968 I should really carry around a memo thing, so maybe I'll bring them in. 01:32:46.108 --> 01:32:48.890 And you listen back to them in a few, you know, in a couple of months. 01:32:49.910 --> 01:33:02.418 And you've recorded it like... I think next time you hear someone doing that, you should just rush up to them and go, oh my God. 01:33:03.058 --> 01:33:03.799 No, what was that? 01:33:03.839 --> 01:33:04.859 What was that tune you were singing? 01:33:05.219 --> 01:33:06.000 That was amazing. 01:33:06.300 --> 01:33:06.920 Quick, sing it again. 01:33:06.940 --> 01:33:07.901 Have you got a deal? 01:33:08.361 --> 01:33:08.922 Are you signed? 01:33:08.962 --> 01:33:10.343 Do you work for a record label? 01:33:10.743 --> 01:33:13.084 Then you get punched in the chest, legitimately. 01:33:13.104 --> 01:33:13.985 Just another day for me. 01:33:15.703 --> 01:33:30.520 this is your free play joe what is it dj format yeah okay this is dj format uh this is from his album wait for it wait wait a little bit longer uh music for the mature b-boy from 2003 this is called english lessons part one yeah that's 01:33:30.520 --> 01:33:35.203 That's a little bit of music there for you, music fans, from DJ Format. 01:33:35.524 --> 01:33:38.506 DJ Format and that was called English Lessons Part 1. 01:33:38.686 --> 01:33:41.548 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 01:33:41.668 --> 01:33:46.892 Lots of American people have texted us to say of course bingo and the word bingo does exist in America. 01:33:47.752 --> 01:33:48.133 That's it. 01:33:48.193 --> 01:33:48.893 Just sorting that out. 01:33:48.953 --> 01:33:55.438 And people as well saying that Microsoft has chosen bing as the word because it stands for. 01:33:55.598 --> 01:33:56.559 Bing is not Google. 01:33:57.219 --> 01:33:58.060 I can't believe that's true. 01:33:58.080 --> 01:33:59.441 I can't believe it's not true. 01:33:59.461 --> 01:34:00.882 Just a bit of fact mopping there. 01:34:00.902 --> 01:34:03.404 A little bit of fact mopping, and here's some info for you. 01:34:03.604 --> 01:34:16.273 If you are a person who likes to go and see live events, exciting live events, at the moment I'm working on a sitcom for BBC2, and it's a studio sitcom, which means that every Thursday evening we record 01:34:16.993 --> 01:34:21.257 live in front of a studio audience in the studios at Teddington. 01:34:21.837 --> 01:34:26.841 Lovely studios, you know, they were built by Benny Hill and... Actually built by Benny Hill. 01:34:26.861 --> 01:34:27.842 And his Hill's Angels. 01:34:27.862 --> 01:34:28.743 He did them very fast. 01:34:30.424 --> 01:34:30.924 That's right. 01:34:31.185 --> 01:34:32.165 Another little moment. 01:34:33.066 --> 01:34:35.468 Anyway, you can come along and see the show being taped. 01:34:35.568 --> 01:34:44.115 The show is called The Scum Also Rises and it's all about an advertising agency and I am in it, along with many other talented comedians and actors. 01:34:44.355 --> 01:34:45.216 Ian Lee is in it. 01:34:45.856 --> 01:34:48.257 Daisy Haggard from Man Stroke Woman is in it. 01:34:48.737 --> 01:34:52.159 Jared Christmas, very funny, Kiwi stand-up comedian is in it. 01:34:52.679 --> 01:34:57.582 Anyway, do come along if you'd like to see it being taped, we'd love to see you there. 01:34:57.882 --> 01:35:10.788 You can go and find tickets on the website, which is called, it's www.sroaudiences.com, www.sroaudiences, all one word, dot com. 01:35:10.828 --> 01:35:14.550 So we'd love to see you there at Teddington, but be warned, you know, these things take like 01:35:15.450 --> 01:35:37.463 couple of hours or more to tape so that's it for this week though thank you very much for everybody who's texted an email please keep your emails on the text the nation subject coming in in case they make it into retro text the nation a podcast of the best bits of this show will be available at about five o'clock on monday morning and we'll be back here same time next week nine till noon on six music stay tuned for Liz Kershaw have a good week bye