WEBVTT 00:18.869 --> 00:37.730 Always catch the beginning of the show Flack squadron don't wanna miss a thing That's not the one, black squadron roll Went to bed at a reasonable hour Gotta be sharp on Saturday morning That's the secret of the squadron's battle 00:41.308 --> 00:41.889 Good morning. 00:42.089 --> 00:43.330 Welcome, Black Squadron. 00:43.390 --> 00:44.211 This is Adam. 00:44.732 --> 00:45.673 Hey, this is Joe. 00:45.713 --> 00:51.379 Good morning in particular to Master Jay and Deb, who've already texted us in. 00:51.499 --> 00:52.761 I mean, that's really good, Black Squadron. 00:52.781 --> 00:54.002 What have they texted? 00:54.823 --> 00:57.126 Well, I'm not sure whether it's worth reading out. 00:58.870 --> 01:04.735 There's a bad joke from Master J, and there's a little anecdote from Deb. 01:04.895 --> 01:11.541 Come on, you've got to have the joke from Master J. Dear Adam and Jo, what cheese is very popular aboard the Battlestar Galactica? 01:12.602 --> 01:15.865 You see, I don't really understand this joke, so I don't know how I can do it. 01:16.045 --> 01:16.265 Go on. 01:16.285 --> 01:16.826 That's right. 01:17.346 --> 01:18.327 It's Lir Damer. 01:20.132 --> 01:20.913 Lee Adama. 01:22.613 --> 01:24.795 He's one of the guys on Battlestar Galactica. 01:24.835 --> 01:25.135 Is he? 01:25.275 --> 01:25.415 Yes. 01:25.435 --> 01:26.255 On the new series. 01:26.335 --> 01:26.635 Yes. 01:26.836 --> 01:28.516 And he's got the same name as some cheese. 01:28.637 --> 01:28.937 Yes. 01:30.658 --> 01:32.398 I've got a bit of a funny throat this morning. 01:32.418 --> 01:33.219 You've got a very funny throat. 01:33.239 --> 01:34.079 That's a bit odd. 01:34.239 --> 01:35.020 What have you been doing? 01:36.060 --> 01:39.642 I've just had an operation on it to improve my voiceover chances. 01:39.702 --> 01:40.102 Have you? 01:40.323 --> 01:44.745 Yeah, I wasn't getting enough voiceovers and I want to start doing some very gruff. 01:45.325 --> 01:45.645 work. 01:45.886 --> 01:47.147 That's my area. 01:47.207 --> 01:47.467 Smooth. 01:48.247 --> 01:49.248 I can't do it like you. 01:49.669 --> 01:51.150 Smooth. 01:51.170 --> 01:55.914 You see, I've had, so once the operation has healed, I'll be able to do that. 01:55.994 --> 01:56.274 Yeah. 01:56.754 --> 01:58.596 But I've just, yeah, I've had it operated on. 01:58.876 --> 01:59.376 What were you doing? 01:59.396 --> 02:00.817 Are you shouting at a gig or something? 02:00.978 --> 02:01.658 No, it happened. 02:02.479 --> 02:03.259 It happened a bit. 02:03.359 --> 02:05.681 I think I got it off Claire Slevin at the Sony's. 02:06.022 --> 02:06.322 Did you? 02:06.342 --> 02:07.062 Were you snogging her? 02:07.082 --> 02:07.323 Yeah. 02:07.663 --> 02:10.025 No, but she was talking right into my face. 02:11.066 --> 02:12.647 Unstoppable for the whole evening. 02:13.147 --> 02:16.209 having announced she had a really bad cold at the beginning of the evening. 02:16.309 --> 02:18.510 That is one of your bug bears, quite literally, isn't it? 02:18.610 --> 02:18.850 Is it? 02:19.050 --> 02:21.011 Yeah, I feel like talking into my face. 02:21.291 --> 02:23.432 Well, no, people with colds getting into your space. 02:23.552 --> 02:25.333 Yeah, I don't mind it, usually. 02:25.353 --> 02:28.034 I'm usually quite resilient, but this time it went in there. 02:28.514 --> 02:32.116 She was talking and what she was saying was very boring, so I was yawning. 02:32.316 --> 02:36.838 I'm not suggesting that she has the swine flu, but she is contravening all kinds of swine flu directives. 02:36.878 --> 02:37.959 Yeah, that's not true, Claire. 02:38.359 --> 02:40.180 In case she's listening, what she was saying wasn't boring. 02:40.960 --> 02:41.520 That is a risk. 02:41.560 --> 02:44.641 If a very boring person with a cold talks to you and you yawn, then that's it. 02:45.001 --> 02:45.481 Game over. 02:45.701 --> 02:46.261 Absolutely. 02:46.921 --> 02:47.161 Yeah. 02:47.341 --> 02:48.642 You suck in all the boringness. 02:49.902 --> 02:51.722 So folks, thank you very much for joining us this morning. 02:51.742 --> 02:53.943 Do we have a command for Black Squadron of any kind? 02:54.463 --> 02:57.103 I mean, I was thinking... I think we do. 02:57.143 --> 03:00.544 I've got a couple that you rejected last week that I could issue. 03:00.564 --> 03:01.184 Yeah, go on then. 03:02.185 --> 03:04.545 Are we going to go into a record after the command? 03:04.645 --> 03:05.766 Immediately after the command. 03:05.786 --> 03:07.387 Yeah, because then they have to do it. 03:07.747 --> 03:14.272 Okay, we've queued up Lovefool by the Cardigans, and we'll kick it in as soon as you issue your command for Black Squadron. 03:14.292 --> 03:14.773 Standby. 03:15.113 --> 03:15.893 Here is your room. 03:15.913 --> 03:16.374 Sorry, mate. 03:17.094 --> 03:17.735 Egg in mouth. 03:18.626 --> 03:20.407 That's the Cardigans with Loveful. 03:20.447 --> 03:23.868 This is Adam and Jo on BBC 6 Music on a Saturday morning. 03:24.488 --> 03:26.608 It's quite nice at the moment weather wise. 03:26.628 --> 03:27.149 Quite nice. 03:27.609 --> 03:29.029 It could go either way. 03:29.349 --> 03:29.689 Yeah. 03:29.950 --> 03:32.010 Have you got any idea of the forecast for this weekend? 03:32.230 --> 03:33.391 It's very changeable. 03:33.691 --> 03:34.571 It's very changeable. 03:34.611 --> 03:37.272 On the BBC weather they had a huge planet of rain. 03:38.212 --> 03:44.233 Yeah, you know she stands next to a big floating transparent globule that's full of whatever the weather is going to be. 03:44.293 --> 03:44.533 Right. 03:44.993 --> 03:46.054 And it was full of rain. 03:46.414 --> 03:47.314 Oh no. 03:47.354 --> 03:48.274 A huge raindrop. 03:48.414 --> 03:49.934 I would see Star Trek yesterday. 03:50.154 --> 03:50.875 Oh, did you like it? 03:50.895 --> 03:52.355 It was just great. 03:52.835 --> 04:00.297 I was absolutely, I must say I preferred, if I had to be critical about it, I preferred the first hour to the second hour. 04:00.417 --> 04:00.577 Right. 04:00.617 --> 04:01.297 You know what I mean? 04:01.317 --> 04:02.057 There came a point 04:02.717 --> 04:03.818 where I just peaked. 04:03.858 --> 04:05.258 I couldn't get any happier than I did. 04:05.278 --> 04:10.501 You know, I was pretty happy right the way through, but I peaked shortly after. 04:11.642 --> 04:16.244 I mean, there was just a nonstop series of fantastic fights and set pieces in the first hour. 04:16.464 --> 04:18.065 And isn't Zachary Pinto good? 04:18.826 --> 04:19.166 Spock. 04:19.226 --> 04:20.006 Spock, yeah. 04:20.026 --> 04:20.667 Spockles is great. 04:20.687 --> 04:21.767 You know who my favourite was? 04:22.288 --> 04:22.708 Chekov. 04:23.388 --> 04:23.988 Oh, really? 04:24.288 --> 04:25.129 The 17-year-old Chekhov. 04:25.149 --> 04:29.090 Like, the first time he speaks... Anton Yelich or something he's called, yeah. 04:29.130 --> 04:30.591 Is he really East European, the actor? 04:30.771 --> 04:31.131 No. 04:31.751 --> 04:32.772 Extraction, I think. 04:32.912 --> 04:34.292 He's an American when he talks normally. 04:34.332 --> 04:36.033 His parentage might be Eastern European. 04:36.073 --> 04:38.494 He does a crazy accent, like, over the top. 04:38.514 --> 04:42.775 They make a joke out of the fact that his accent's so mental in the first few minutes. 04:43.175 --> 04:44.356 But he's a really good character. 04:44.396 --> 04:44.976 He's really sparkly. 04:44.996 --> 04:45.376 He's good. 04:45.396 --> 04:46.817 He's in that film Charlie Bartlett. 04:47.097 --> 04:47.537 How is he? 04:47.717 --> 04:47.977 Yeah. 04:48.237 --> 04:49.999 I say that as if I've heard of Charlie Bartlett. 04:50.019 --> 04:50.739 What's that film about? 04:50.819 --> 04:51.500 I've never seen it. 04:51.580 --> 04:56.623 It's an eccentric film about an eccentric young man, kind of, you know, a bit like Rushmore or something. 04:56.824 --> 04:57.304 Right, right. 04:57.524 --> 04:58.105 Sounds good. 04:58.545 --> 05:01.247 But last week you were talking about creating taglines. 05:01.387 --> 05:02.868 I know, I'm embarrassed about this. 05:03.048 --> 05:08.912 I was mocking a zoo journalist for putting the quote, set faces to stunned on the Star Trek poster. 05:08.932 --> 05:12.735 And of course, as hundreds of people emailed in, that's a Simpsons quote. 05:13.175 --> 05:16.338 What Bart Simpson says before he's about to open 05:17.419 --> 05:22.122 some sort of cupboard in the school, and Miss Crabapple is snogging someone or something. 05:22.642 --> 05:25.525 And he says to his schoolmate, set faces to stunned. 05:27.406 --> 05:29.328 So that's a bit embarrassing for me, isn't it? 05:29.448 --> 05:33.491 I've been casting aspersions on Matt Groening and The Simpsons writers. 05:33.871 --> 05:35.652 Joe had to... Everyone knows they're amazing. 05:35.692 --> 05:38.274 He even had to wheel out the pirate Arr there for you. 05:38.494 --> 05:38.715 Arr. 05:38.735 --> 05:39.855 Because he was so ashamed. 05:39.875 --> 05:41.317 That's how bad things are getting. 05:42.117 --> 05:57.864 I don't think that's a terrible mistake because I think in the Simpsons episode that that occurred in there was no actual Star Trek reference even you know so it was I would say it was lazy of the Simpsons writers yes right and it was brilliant of the zoo journalist to finally find the correct home for that line 05:58.484 --> 06:02.006 I've discovered a new way of ego surfing, and it's Twitter searching. 06:02.707 --> 06:05.809 It's a way you can be involved in Twitter without actually joining Twitter. 06:05.849 --> 06:07.810 You can just search it for what people are saying. 06:08.291 --> 06:16.116 And I came across a Twitter from the Zoo journalist who'd written that quote, going, Adam and Joe are currently taking the Mickey out of my quote. 06:16.836 --> 06:17.657 He was a bit angry. 06:17.977 --> 06:19.238 So I apologise to him. 06:19.258 --> 06:22.040 We weren't taking the Mickey, we gave it maximum respect last week. 06:22.420 --> 06:23.161 I was taking the Mickey. 06:23.621 --> 06:27.143 Well, people have emailed and texted in their own suggestions. 06:27.243 --> 06:28.264 Here's a few from Barney. 06:28.284 --> 06:29.604 These are actually very good, Barney. 06:29.624 --> 06:31.305 The first two or three are wicked, aren't they? 06:31.325 --> 06:34.467 He says, dear Adam and Jo, thanks very much for your weekly podcast, which I enjoy very much. 06:34.487 --> 06:38.209 There's almost no chance of me ever joining the ranks of Brown Nose Squadron. 06:39.169 --> 06:42.830 As the thought of being up at 9am, he's taking the mick out of Black Squadron now, you see. 06:43.271 --> 06:44.711 Calling them Brown Nose Squadron. 06:44.811 --> 06:48.532 The thought of being up at 9am on Saturday fills me with a breathless horror and disgust. 06:48.852 --> 06:52.134 So he won't be hearing this being read out unless it's included in the podcast. 06:52.494 --> 06:57.215 But Barney suggests for Star Trek taglines, boldly go and see it. 06:57.895 --> 06:59.336 Yeah, and see it as in brackets. 06:59.436 --> 06:59.776 Yeah. 07:00.156 --> 07:00.636 That's funny. 07:00.656 --> 07:01.657 It's alright, isn't it? 07:01.897 --> 07:05.158 From your list of films to see this summer, this is one to check off. 07:05.798 --> 07:06.439 That's good. 07:06.459 --> 07:07.920 That's good. 07:08.440 --> 07:11.342 Make no bones, brackets McCoy, about it. 07:11.802 --> 07:13.243 Spock notch entertainment. 07:13.263 --> 07:13.963 That's my favourite. 07:14.064 --> 07:15.524 Spock notch entertainment. 07:16.165 --> 07:17.966 That's fun to say. 07:18.106 --> 07:18.807 Spock notch. 07:18.867 --> 07:19.687 That is Spock notch. 07:19.707 --> 07:21.048 It's absolutely Spock notch. 07:21.108 --> 07:22.209 You know, what did you think of the film? 07:22.389 --> 07:23.530 It was Spock notch. 07:23.750 --> 07:24.090 Yeah. 07:24.330 --> 07:27.812 And you could, instead of giving two thumbs up, you could just lift your ears. 07:27.852 --> 07:28.573 Lift your ears. 07:28.893 --> 07:32.876 Or if you were a crew member of the Enterprise, you could pop something up to Spock's notch. 07:34.236 --> 07:58.446 celebration a barrow or something in fact why don't they have instead of like how would Spock react to that he would say that's logical would you because why would you put why would you put that up someone's notch watch what is his notch don't go into it even further don't go into the notch totally going into Spock's notch it's a thriller minute smash Jim but not as we know it 07:59.887 --> 08:00.107 Yeah. 08:00.368 --> 08:02.249 Perfect for a first star date. 08:02.589 --> 08:03.810 I mean, it peaks with Spotknotch. 08:03.851 --> 08:04.331 It does peak. 08:04.371 --> 08:06.313 You see, look, I only put the first three on there. 08:06.333 --> 08:06.753 Did you? 08:06.793 --> 08:08.514 Yeah, I edited the rest of them out. 08:08.675 --> 08:09.455 Using editing. 08:09.495 --> 08:10.636 But you're boldly going. 08:11.537 --> 08:13.619 I'm boldly going where I shouldn't be going. 08:14.299 --> 08:14.900 Into Spotknotch. 08:15.120 --> 08:19.325 Thanks, Barney, and thanks to everyone else who suggested those Star Trek titles. 08:19.385 --> 08:21.227 And apologies to the zoo journalist. 08:21.708 --> 08:26.353 It's a very tough job working on zoo, you know, working with all the boobs and animals. 08:27.455 --> 08:30.679 And I don't mean to bring him down working with all the boobs. 08:31.880 --> 08:33.182 Here's a free play for you right now. 08:33.202 --> 08:34.884 This is late period Talking Head. 08:34.904 --> 08:36.345 Always brings a smile to my face. 08:36.666 --> 08:36.926 Heads? 08:37.627 --> 08:37.927 Plural? 08:37.947 --> 08:38.768 You just said singular. 08:39.189 --> 08:39.889 Talking Head. 08:40.510 --> 08:43.994 Yeah, you forgot the S. I'm using the singular for this song. 08:44.014 --> 08:44.715 That's cool. 08:45.076 --> 08:46.197 It's a piece of Talking Head. 08:47.338 --> 08:48.319 It's called Wild Life. 08:48.419 --> 08:49.361 Wild, Wild Life, even. 08:50.049 --> 08:52.890 That was Noah and the Whale with Five Years Time. 08:52.930 --> 08:55.111 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music. 08:55.131 --> 08:59.634 It's a great pleasure to be with you this fine Saturday morning here in the heart of London Town. 08:59.854 --> 09:04.016 Yes, and we should let you know that we're going to reveal the results of last week's Song Wars. 09:04.076 --> 09:10.799 Somewhere in the middle of the show, usually we do it at the beginning, but we've decided to, you know, tease people. 09:11.059 --> 09:11.559 Teasing? 09:11.699 --> 09:13.080 Yeah, because that's what it's all about. 09:13.180 --> 09:15.581 You might even hold it back until the last hour, just after 11. 09:15.881 --> 09:17.662 What about the very end of the show? 09:17.702 --> 09:19.823 It could be the very, very last thing we say. 09:20.384 --> 09:22.386 What about getting Liz Kershaw to announce it? 09:22.706 --> 09:23.387 In her show? 09:24.148 --> 09:25.590 In the first hour of her show? 09:26.191 --> 09:27.012 Force her? 09:27.452 --> 09:31.577 And then, like, let's just write a whole script for Liz Kershaw and force her to do it. 09:32.859 --> 09:34.441 She won't be allowed to do any of her own stuff. 09:34.461 --> 09:36.543 She's got to do all of her own emails and stuff. 09:36.563 --> 09:37.705 But you know, if we were more... 09:38.726 --> 09:47.129 sort of audience-hungry, we would do that because in the media, when you've got a piece of information that people are waiting for, the thing to do is to make them wait for as long as possible. 09:47.149 --> 09:47.669 Spin it out. 09:47.889 --> 09:52.230 And then sell advertising space, you know, before you reveal it and everything. 09:53.050 --> 09:53.791 Isn't that the case? 09:53.831 --> 09:57.072 I mean, it's a reflection of how unprofessional we are that we don't do that. 09:57.252 --> 09:59.192 That we're not making money hand over fist. 09:59.772 --> 10:01.253 Yeah, well, that's another conversation. 10:01.633 --> 10:02.313 Yeah, yeah. 10:02.713 --> 10:06.134 Hey, speaking of making, you see, the way to make money is to win awards, right? 10:06.294 --> 10:07.935 How do you make money hand over fist though? 10:10.241 --> 10:12.642 You just do. 10:14.143 --> 10:15.424 I don't know what that expression means. 10:15.725 --> 10:17.025 Neither do I. But keep talking. 10:17.046 --> 10:18.166 What were you going to move on to there? 10:18.707 --> 10:19.227 The Sonys. 10:19.527 --> 10:19.827 Yes. 10:20.388 --> 10:22.930 It was, of course, the Sony Awards listeners. 10:23.270 --> 10:33.037 And as Adam so cleverly said to somebody the other day while I was listening in America, they refer to the Oscars as the Sonys of the movie industry. 10:33.077 --> 10:33.537 That's right. 10:33.878 --> 10:34.758 They're that important. 10:34.778 --> 10:35.018 Yeah. 10:36.039 --> 10:36.540 Very important. 10:36.560 --> 10:40.624 In fact, I think all DJs have been talking about them a lot because a lot of them were nominated. 10:40.684 --> 10:42.486 I heard Danny Baker getting a bit annoyed. 10:42.647 --> 10:43.047 Was he? 10:43.147 --> 10:47.432 On his programme on BBC London, he was getting a bit annoyed about losing. 10:47.953 --> 10:51.476 I mean, it's weird because they nominate a bronze, a silver and a gold. 10:51.537 --> 10:52.738 Yeah. 10:52.978 --> 10:56.402 And then only the gold winner goes up to accept the award. 10:56.622 --> 10:59.506 And the gold winner is the only one that gets any kind of thing to take away. 10:59.526 --> 11:01.167 I think they get a really nice bit of purse. 11:01.187 --> 11:07.375 So you sort of feel like you've won when you're nominated, but then when you don't win the gold, you sort of feel like you've lost. 11:07.455 --> 11:08.115 It's strange. 11:08.316 --> 11:10.378 Well, because you have to sit through the ceremony and everything. 11:10.678 --> 11:12.701 Yeah, which is a losing proposition. 11:13.141 --> 11:17.788 And some people come up to you afterwards because we were very excited that we won three silvers. 11:17.808 --> 11:18.889 You know, that was amazing. 11:19.230 --> 11:20.872 We're excited that anyone listens at all. 11:21.333 --> 11:26.160 But a lot of people came up to us afterwards and some of them would say, oh, congratulations, amazing. 11:26.520 --> 11:28.102 And other people would go, oh, bad luck. 11:28.743 --> 11:30.284 And it was hard to know how to feel. 11:30.664 --> 11:30.884 Yeah. 11:30.944 --> 11:31.784 How did you feel in the end? 11:31.804 --> 11:33.165 Did you feel disappointed or elated? 11:33.285 --> 11:34.685 No, I feel elated. 11:34.805 --> 11:35.986 Three silvers for this. 11:36.306 --> 11:36.826 Amazing. 11:38.246 --> 11:39.707 My mum was absolutely over the moon. 11:39.727 --> 11:40.567 She couldn't believe it. 11:40.607 --> 11:40.927 Yeah. 11:41.268 --> 11:42.488 She was absolutely delighted. 11:42.508 --> 11:43.448 Do you know what I thought though? 11:43.468 --> 11:43.828 What? 11:44.089 --> 11:47.190 I thought, well, I wonder what the relative value of silver to gold is. 11:47.410 --> 11:51.451 And I wonder if actually three bits of silver are worth more than one bit of gold. 11:51.691 --> 11:52.071 These days. 11:52.091 --> 11:53.432 So I actually went on the internet. 11:53.812 --> 12:10.400 and looked at the precious metal currency rates and no gold's worth much much much much more than silver and three bits of silver no they they just make up a fraction of the cost of gold's really valuable yeah is it yeah i mean just its reputation is justified 12:14.444 --> 12:18.648 The only thing that troubled me about the silver award right is a routine by Jerry Seinfeld. 12:18.668 --> 12:20.790 Have you seen that where he's talking about the Olympics? 12:21.110 --> 12:21.410 No. 12:21.551 --> 12:22.452 Let me quote it for you. 12:22.912 --> 12:25.294 He says the Olympics is really my favorite sporting event. 12:25.314 --> 12:26.736 I won't do a Jerry Seinfeld impression. 12:27.116 --> 12:29.198 Although I think I have a problem with that silver medal. 12:29.358 --> 12:34.342 Because when you think about it, you win the gold, you feel good, you win the bronze, you think, well, at least I got something. 12:34.582 --> 12:38.525 But when you win the silver, it's like, congratulations, you almost won. 12:38.865 --> 12:41.868 Of all the losers, you came in first of that group. 12:41.988 --> 12:43.869 You're the number one loser. 12:44.130 --> 12:45.351 No one lost ahead of you. 12:45.371 --> 12:46.412 You know what I mean? 12:46.432 --> 12:48.994 There's something true about that, isn't there? 12:49.054 --> 12:49.334 Oh dear. 12:50.936 --> 13:04.751 But then I found when I was searching around for that routine on the internet, I found a very angry letter from a gentleman who'd seen that quote in an article about the Olympics and he says he's called Jerry Parsons and he wrote into this website called The Pantograph. 13:05.271 --> 13:13.374 to their sports section and said, I was shocked and very disappointed to read the Jerry Seinfeld Olympics quote on the front page of the Pantograph Sports section on Wednesday. 13:13.955 --> 13:17.296 I don't know if it was an attempt at humour or a statement of philosophy. 13:17.516 --> 13:19.377 Either way, it was inappropriate. 13:19.777 --> 13:27.440 In the midst of the Olympic Games, calling an athlete who places second in the world a loser appears to be an extremely poor choice of words. 13:27.840 --> 13:31.842 The tremendous positives of athletics, and this could apply to our show as well. 13:32.302 --> 13:43.824 include enjoyment, realistic goal setting, discipline, dealing with setbacks, building self-esteem, sociability, and, less applicable to our show, physical fitness. 13:44.384 --> 13:50.505 These positives, mixed with sacrifice and practice, produce an athlete who cannot be called a loser. 13:50.845 --> 13:53.686 An athlete does not need to be first to be a winner. 13:53.946 --> 13:54.766 Gerry Parsons. 13:55.246 --> 13:56.366 Point well made, yeah. 13:56.486 --> 13:57.526 Thanks very much, Gerry. 13:57.626 --> 14:00.487 Must be tough getting through life if you don't have a sense of humour, mustn't it? 14:01.027 --> 14:02.188 I mean if you've got none at all. 14:02.408 --> 14:05.009 Imagine how annoyed you'd get at comedy and jokes in general. 14:05.029 --> 14:07.130 They'd make you furious all the time. 14:07.250 --> 14:08.851 I thought you were talking about me for a second there. 14:09.191 --> 14:11.192 Here's Willie Mason with We Can Be Strong. 14:22.817 --> 14:24.757 Yes, he's irresistibly drawn towards a pub. 14:24.777 --> 14:26.938 This is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music. 14:27.238 --> 14:33.719 Now, a friend of ours works in the advertising industry, and they've been doing some commercials recently. 14:33.899 --> 14:42.380 And in the course of doing these commercials, they came across a whole new load of kind of special advertising demographic jargon, right? 14:42.440 --> 14:43.881 Oh, I love advertising jargon. 14:44.301 --> 14:50.082 And in the olden days, they used to refer to... advertising people love to put people in boxes. 14:50.282 --> 14:51.862 That's their favourite thing, you know? 14:52.162 --> 14:53.883 You know the way bands hate being put in boxes? 14:53.963 --> 14:55.524 Well, bands hate being pigeonholed. 14:55.624 --> 14:56.384 They hate being pigeonholed. 14:56.404 --> 14:56.765 That's different. 14:57.225 --> 15:01.407 But advertising people absolutely adore pigeonholing people and popping them in boxes. 15:01.907 --> 15:07.571 And what they do is they separate groups into categories like ABC ones. 15:08.311 --> 15:10.432 And that's the only one I can ever remember. 15:10.452 --> 15:15.415 Well, there's the famous very rude one to describe washing powder adverts and stuff, isn't there? 15:15.455 --> 15:16.336 Two TKs. 15:16.776 --> 15:16.976 Yeah. 15:17.196 --> 15:20.237 Which was very... Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, move on. 15:20.437 --> 15:23.438 Two tarts in the kitchen. 15:23.538 --> 15:25.399 They're all faintly disparaging though, aren't they? 15:25.959 --> 15:32.961 Yes, they're faintly disparaging, but no, but the technical ones, but ABC1s and things like that, that's just sort of technical. 15:33.301 --> 15:35.182 It's a way to target and break down your market. 15:35.402 --> 15:37.943 Exactly, and absolutely be specific about who you're selling to. 15:37.963 --> 15:38.503 Absolutely. 15:38.923 --> 15:45.386 But now it's a little less clinical and a bit more colloquial the way they talk about their target market. 15:45.406 --> 15:48.067 But they're still talking about them absolutely humorlessly. 15:48.187 --> 15:56.270 So I was told that these people were referring to the target audience as, for example, Charlotte's, Tina's and Betty's. 15:56.750 --> 15:57.411 Oh my gosh. 15:58.331 --> 15:59.592 Are the Charlotte's going to get this? 16:00.312 --> 16:04.375 I'm not so sure, I think the Betty's will get it, but I'm not so sure about the Charlotte's and the Tina's. 16:05.135 --> 16:05.936 What's the difference? 16:06.416 --> 16:10.939 Well, Charlotte's, let me tell you, and this is obviously mainly female audience. 16:10.959 --> 16:11.639 This is real, is it? 16:11.659 --> 16:12.840 This is real terminology. 16:12.860 --> 16:15.021 This is real terminology that's used by a lot of advertisers. 16:16.822 --> 16:17.223 Excuse me. 16:17.563 --> 16:23.426 Charlotte's women aged between 25 and 28 years old who are single and go out a lot. 16:23.806 --> 16:26.607 They spend lots on beauty products and looking good. 16:27.288 --> 16:29.189 They work, but they don't earn much. 16:29.729 --> 16:32.150 They tend to read magazines like Grazia, things like that. 16:32.430 --> 16:32.710 Right. 16:32.971 --> 16:33.351 Tina's. 16:34.071 --> 16:37.436 They are mums between the age of 30 and 35 years old. 16:37.836 --> 16:40.820 It's all about the family with Tina's and less about themselves. 16:41.401 --> 16:44.966 They spend a lot of money on family things rather than themselves. 16:45.026 --> 16:46.769 They buy lots of treats for the kids. 16:46.849 --> 16:49.092 My wife's a Tina, incidentally. 16:49.488 --> 16:50.849 They love family packs. 16:51.390 --> 16:53.592 I mean, my wife adores family packs. 16:53.632 --> 16:55.234 Two for three, that kind of thing, right? 16:56.054 --> 16:57.075 She gets very excited. 16:57.095 --> 16:59.518 You get her a family pack of anything and she'll start crying. 17:00.439 --> 17:02.220 With emotion, with a raw emotion. 17:02.240 --> 17:07.045 With absolute joy, tears of joy coming down her face at the sight of a family pack. 17:08.299 --> 17:11.462 Tina's are known as the primary caregivers. 17:11.502 --> 17:12.222 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 17:12.502 --> 17:13.103 PCGs. 17:13.343 --> 17:14.384 Okay, PCGs. 17:14.904 --> 17:17.345 Betty's, they are older women, right? 17:17.365 --> 17:17.626 Old. 17:18.246 --> 17:20.207 The families have grown up, moved out, maybe. 17:20.428 --> 17:22.609 They're really into living life to the full. 17:23.049 --> 17:30.895 They spend a lot, you know, because they've been living life, not to the full, they've been living life about a quarter or maybe a third. 17:30.915 --> 17:32.155 That's how I like to live life. 17:32.295 --> 17:32.556 Yeah. 17:32.796 --> 17:33.256 Half full. 17:33.436 --> 17:33.937 Half full. 17:34.657 --> 17:35.858 Just, you know, leave a bit of room. 17:35.878 --> 17:36.598 It's less risky. 17:36.738 --> 17:37.179 Exactly. 17:39.040 --> 17:41.082 So they really love to live life to the full. 17:41.282 --> 17:43.764 They spend quite a lot on health improvement stuff. 17:44.104 --> 17:44.404 Yes. 17:44.424 --> 17:45.325 Vitamins and things like that. 17:45.425 --> 17:45.925 Vitamins. 17:45.945 --> 17:49.488 Jane Fonda would be a Betty, for example, with her wrinkly skin. 17:49.548 --> 17:49.748 Yeah. 17:49.909 --> 17:51.230 Well, she'd be a very sexy Betty. 17:51.710 --> 17:56.334 All three of these groups, the Charlots, the Tina's and the Betty's, have a lust for life. 17:57.554 --> 18:02.879 That's useful when you're selling to people to know that they have a lust for life, because it informs the tone of your advert. 18:03.199 --> 18:05.120 Well, because your product's going to improve their life. 18:05.260 --> 18:05.441 Yeah. 18:06.121 --> 18:08.603 and that they're interested in anything that will improve it. 18:08.743 --> 18:10.163 Have they got those names though? 18:11.064 --> 18:13.165 Why have they chosen Charlotte, Tina and Betty? 18:13.205 --> 18:17.688 I mean, Betty's more obvious because it's more of a sort of cliched, older lady name. 18:18.828 --> 18:20.129 Tina and Charlotte? 18:20.569 --> 18:21.490 Where have they come from? 18:21.810 --> 18:22.130 I don't know. 18:22.150 --> 18:27.334 I suppose Tina is slightly more lower middle class, Charlotte maybe more upper middle class. 18:27.354 --> 18:27.615 Tina. 18:27.815 --> 18:38.283 I imagine a Tina as maybe a bit of a spinster who can't get a boyf and watches a lot of Bridget Jones, you know, reads a lot of Bridget Jones and stuff. 18:38.503 --> 18:39.544 No, they've got them as the mum. 18:39.564 --> 18:41.125 I wouldn't imagine Tina as a mum. 18:41.605 --> 18:45.388 Here's a group that our friend Garth Jennings thought of when I was talking to him about this phenomenon. 18:46.149 --> 18:47.210 Paddies, right? 18:47.730 --> 18:48.611 Married with children. 18:48.651 --> 18:50.993 I think he was thinking about himself when he thought of this group. 18:51.193 --> 18:51.353 Yeah. 18:51.553 --> 18:52.774 They are married with children. 18:52.814 --> 18:58.941 They spend a long time, longer on the toilet than they used to because it's such a peaceful place to escape from children. 18:59.422 --> 19:00.583 This is men specifically. 19:01.444 --> 19:12.556 Paddy's rarely checked to see what the wife is spending money on, but when he does check on her purchases, he explodes with fury at the madness of it all. 19:13.857 --> 19:19.939 Paddies spend a lot of money on leads and connectors for computers rather than clothes or personal items. 19:20.599 --> 19:22.960 Paddies have rediscovered the joy of riding their bikes. 19:23.481 --> 19:28.602 Paddies can drink half a bottle of wine extremely quickly over an evening. 19:30.123 --> 19:30.743 That's good. 19:31.083 --> 19:33.664 I thought of my group was Shedwoods. 19:35.065 --> 19:37.526 Men called Edwards with... Men called Edward with sheds. 19:38.306 --> 19:38.646 I'm a Shedwoods. 19:38.666 --> 19:39.506 That's what you would fit in. 19:39.526 --> 19:40.767 I think I'm a Nancy. 19:41.127 --> 19:41.387 Are you? 19:43.308 --> 19:44.048 What's a Nancy? 19:44.528 --> 19:47.309 No, I'm not sure I'm a Nancy now that I say it out loud. 19:47.609 --> 19:48.789 I'm having second thoughts. 19:48.989 --> 19:49.930 Edwards, right? 19:50.530 --> 19:51.130 Men with sheds. 19:51.490 --> 19:53.570 Yeah, I think I'm a Gunther. 19:54.391 --> 19:55.091 A Gunther. 19:55.451 --> 19:56.291 Like the guy from Friends? 19:56.991 --> 19:58.151 Yeah. 19:58.251 --> 20:08.914 Men with sheds act like they are in charge of the shed, make it clear that the shed is boring and cluttered and dangerous to stop other people going into the shed so that they can have it for themselves. 20:09.894 --> 20:16.478 They are secretly spending money on luxury items for the shed that could conceivably be intended for use by the whole family. 20:16.498 --> 20:21.721 For example, folding chairs, beer fridge, DAB radio, candles, etc. 20:22.341 --> 20:24.142 Isn't that an Adam? 20:24.442 --> 20:25.663 Yes, that's what I'm saying. 20:25.683 --> 20:28.325 They're just designed to improve your life in the shed. 20:29.105 --> 20:34.407 I'd be curious to know if any of our listeners could come up with some more useful categories for advertising. 20:34.427 --> 20:36.647 Well, this could be a text-the-nation, couldn't it? 20:36.687 --> 20:38.328 Yeah, what about this as text-the-nation? 20:38.368 --> 20:45.830 You have to invent new advertising categories, I mean, so that advertisers can target their products more precisely. 20:46.330 --> 20:51.892 Are there any demographics that they're missing that could be summed up by a single person's name? 20:51.952 --> 20:54.433 We haven't even touched on the teens yet and the stuff that's there. 20:54.453 --> 20:54.913 That's true. 20:55.493 --> 21:00.515 So we need a name and then a sort of description of the kind of thing they do that would help us target a product. 21:01.275 --> 21:03.356 So that can be Text-a-nation for this week's listeners. 21:03.816 --> 21:04.996 The text number is what? 21:06.337 --> 21:04.996 64046? 21:06.397 --> 21:08.818 We could even bang in the Text-a-nation jingle, James. 21:11.118 --> 21:11.859 Text-a-nation! 21:11.979 --> 21:12.279 Text! 21:12.359 --> 21:12.639 Text! 21:12.679 --> 21:13.039 Text! 21:13.159 --> 21:13.899 Text-a-nation! 21:13.959 --> 21:14.920 What if I don't want to? 21:15.180 --> 21:15.920 Text-a-nation! 21:16.020 --> 21:16.980 But I'm using email. 21:17.160 --> 21:17.901 Is that a problem? 21:17.921 --> 21:18.481 It doesn't matter. 21:18.521 --> 21:18.721 Text! 21:21.078 --> 21:27.021 Or if you can't access a texting device, you can always email adamandjo.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk. 21:27.361 --> 21:30.383 And I think we've got one or two listeners in the advertising industry, right? 21:30.683 --> 21:30.823 Yeah. 21:30.983 --> 21:39.368 So we'd love to know any more authentic terms that are currently used for describing a target market. 21:39.388 --> 21:40.409 A target market. 21:40.429 --> 21:41.229 A target market. 21:41.249 --> 21:42.270 A target market. 21:42.910 --> 21:43.831 Target Margaret. 21:44.451 --> 21:46.392 Target Margaret. 21:46.572 --> 21:48.133 With her lovely white hair. 21:48.473 --> 21:49.374 I'm just thinking of Martin. 21:49.394 --> 21:49.714 Yes. 21:49.934 --> 21:51.195 Well, we can talk about all that later. 21:51.235 --> 21:54.197 All our Apprentice song war stuff is coming up, of course, in the show. 21:54.578 --> 21:55.899 Right now, here's some lovely music. 21:55.959 --> 21:56.879 Is this your choice, Joe? 21:56.919 --> 22:01.002 Yeah, this is a little sort of remix type thing by our friend Al Fingers. 22:01.062 --> 22:08.708 I played a few weeks ago a mix he did of a Johnny Osborne reggae track and Marvin Gaye's What's Going On. 22:09.248 --> 22:11.310 This is a similar thing he's done rather beautifully. 22:11.710 --> 22:14.057 I don't know what the reggae track he's used is called. 22:14.177 --> 22:15.140 Maybe someone can tell us. 22:15.601 --> 22:18.489 But this is Smokey Robinson with Being With You Reggaeth. 22:19.867 --> 22:20.708 Very good indeed. 22:20.748 --> 22:23.010 That's DJ Format with Separated at Birth. 22:23.030 --> 22:26.193 You're listening to Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 22:26.433 --> 22:27.814 Thank you very much for joining us. 22:28.014 --> 22:29.936 Hope you're enjoying your DAB radio. 22:30.356 --> 22:32.258 Life's much better, isn't it, since you bought it? 22:32.998 --> 22:36.622 You've been wasting your time, it seems like, ever since. 22:37.022 --> 22:37.582 With analog. 22:37.783 --> 22:38.523 Yeah, with analog. 22:38.543 --> 22:39.884 I mean, that was just... Yeah, embarrassing. 22:39.964 --> 22:40.545 Retrograde. 22:40.605 --> 22:41.226 Pathetic. 22:41.426 --> 22:42.146 Foot in the past. 22:42.206 --> 22:42.647 Pointless. 22:42.947 --> 22:59.189 what are you doing welcome to the future yeah exactly where uh when radio kind of loses the signal it just goes and then that kind of thing does it do that i wish it did yeah we've got some clearing up some house cleaning to do 22:59.229 --> 23:10.311 Yes, the reggae track with which our fingers mixed Smokey Robinson's being with you is apparently surfing by Ernest Wranglin, says T. in Bristol. 23:10.791 --> 23:11.551 So thanks for that. 23:11.631 --> 23:21.253 And the other thing was the expression hand over fist according to... Oh, they haven't put their name on, have they? 23:21.393 --> 23:24.153 No, they haven't put their name... Yes, they have Alison in Edinburgh. 23:25.173 --> 23:27.734 The illusion is to sailors climbing up or down the rigging. 23:28.905 --> 23:33.848 The notion is that one grasps a fistful of coins with one hand while reaching out for more with the other. 23:33.888 --> 23:35.649 Well, she's mixed her metaphors there. 23:35.689 --> 23:36.370 Which one is it? 23:36.450 --> 23:38.151 Exactly, because if you do sound good to me... I don't know. 23:38.171 --> 23:38.711 The rigging's bad. 23:38.771 --> 23:40.192 Then you're going to be falling down the rigging. 23:40.232 --> 23:42.354 You can't reach out for coins while you're climbing rigging. 23:42.614 --> 23:44.815 You're trying to escape from the pirate ship with your booty. 23:45.456 --> 23:47.957 You're making money and climbing the rigging. 23:48.338 --> 23:49.939 You're making money like you're climbing rigging. 23:50.179 --> 23:51.940 Is that a new expression you formulated? 23:52.000 --> 23:52.760 Well, that's what it is, isn't it? 23:52.780 --> 23:54.141 You're making money hand over fist. 23:54.922 --> 23:55.002 Ah. 23:55.102 --> 23:56.042 Like you're climbing rigging. 23:57.183 --> 23:58.344 I'm confused now. 23:58.404 --> 23:59.345 I don't think we've cleared that up. 23:59.365 --> 23:59.825 We've made it messy. 23:59.845 --> 24:00.646 It's kind of like a cow. 24:00.866 --> 24:04.108 He's like he's climbing rigging the amount of money he's making. 24:05.549 --> 24:06.730 He's got so much money. 24:06.850 --> 24:08.051 He's so attractive as well. 24:08.732 --> 24:09.712 We got an email as well. 24:09.772 --> 24:15.537 Actually, this is something that is going to be in retro text the nation in the podcast, right? 24:15.577 --> 24:21.421 Because this was last week's text the nation subject, but I'm reading this one out anyway, because we won't be able to include it in the podcast. 24:21.801 --> 24:25.644 because it features a little bit of music that we won't be able to clear for the podcast, as I understood. 24:26.044 --> 24:27.305 So many rules and regulations. 24:27.706 --> 24:32.990 We were talking about songs that you customise to fit in with your everyday routines, right? 24:33.750 --> 24:38.934 And the second series of The Wire is going out on BBC Two at the moment, I think. 24:39.074 --> 24:40.055 It's BBC Two, I think it is. 24:40.555 --> 24:41.756 He's still not watching it yet, Joe. 24:41.796 --> 24:42.056 No, no. 24:42.096 --> 24:45.759 Well, I watch it patchily and I catch enough to know that it's good. 24:47.182 --> 24:47.862 You're an Apache. 24:48.343 --> 24:49.043 Apache Indian. 24:49.103 --> 24:50.844 I'm watching with Apache Indian. 24:51.765 --> 24:52.946 And we're having a relationship. 24:53.866 --> 24:55.107 So we set up in bed. 24:55.247 --> 24:56.288 Boom shaka lak. 24:56.688 --> 24:57.508 And watch the wild. 24:57.648 --> 24:59.229 He will say that the whole time. 24:59.349 --> 25:00.070 Wind and go up. 25:00.090 --> 25:00.910 It's getting me annoying. 25:00.950 --> 25:02.031 Wind and go down. 25:02.071 --> 25:03.932 On the other hand, he's so physically attractive. 25:04.453 --> 25:05.493 Watching the wild. 25:05.513 --> 25:06.794 He swings him roundabouts, isn't it? 25:07.494 --> 25:08.715 And then you wind it up. 25:09.716 --> 25:09.836 OK. 25:10.636 --> 25:13.980 This is an email though from James in Birmingham. 25:14.301 --> 25:15.642 He says hello Adam and Joe. 25:15.682 --> 25:17.264 Hope all is well in the big British castle. 25:17.344 --> 25:17.704 It's fine. 25:17.744 --> 25:18.145 Thanks James 25:18.624 --> 25:21.285 A little bit of retro textination news here. 25:21.566 --> 25:27.729 When season one of the fantastic US drama The Wire was shown earlier this year on BBC2, my flatmate and I instantly became hooked. 25:28.069 --> 25:30.410 Especially as it was shown almost every night. 25:30.470 --> 25:34.853 Needless to say, the favourite part of our evening needed some kind of theme tune. 25:35.193 --> 25:38.735 So we decided on the chorus from the Pixies song, Dig for Fire. 25:39.135 --> 25:43.077 Cleverly sung using the lyrics, I'm watching the wire. 25:43.357 --> 25:44.778 And they took it to an extreme. 25:44.798 --> 25:47.960 They said, there's a little bit at the beginning of that before the chorus, 25:48.120 --> 25:49.500 Are you looking for a boring show? 25:49.520 --> 25:50.121 Huh? 25:50.461 --> 25:50.761 No. 25:51.101 --> 25:54.502 No, my child, this is not my desire. 25:55.162 --> 25:58.903 I'm watching the... I don't know that song, so... Pixies fans will know it. 25:58.923 --> 25:59.404 Come on. 25:59.424 --> 26:01.384 There's a lot of Pixies fans listening to the show, I'm sure. 26:01.644 --> 26:04.845 And if you listen to the track itself, it's remarkably close. 26:04.925 --> 26:09.747 In fact, you could say instead of I'm watching The Wire, I'm digging The Wire, right? 26:09.807 --> 26:10.267 Have a listen. 26:15.723 --> 26:27.215 My desire And then she said I'm digging for fire I'm digging for fire 26:40.749 --> 26:42.130 It's completely applicable. 26:42.310 --> 26:43.071 Yeah, isn't it? 26:43.171 --> 26:43.671 That's good. 26:43.691 --> 26:44.412 That's exactly the same. 26:44.432 --> 26:45.312 That's exactly right. 26:45.473 --> 26:47.354 Thanks very much James from Birmingham. 26:47.974 --> 26:55.380 And don't forget, of course, if you want to hear more of those songs that you apply to your everyday life, you have to download the podcast on Monday and it'll be in retro textination. 26:55.420 --> 26:56.901 What is your text thing doing? 26:56.921 --> 26:57.261 I don't know. 26:57.301 --> 26:58.262 I got a text. 26:58.302 --> 27:02.145 You're not supposed to put the audible tone on while you're doing the radio show. 27:02.165 --> 27:02.425 I don't know. 27:02.445 --> 27:03.246 I only just got this thing. 27:03.286 --> 27:04.366 I don't know how to switch it off. 27:04.426 --> 27:05.167 Raving ponce. 27:05.427 --> 27:06.388 Here's some more music now. 27:06.448 --> 27:07.729 This is depression mode with peace. 27:08.852 --> 27:13.015 This would be a good song to sing at the urinal, wouldn't it? 27:13.115 --> 27:14.597 Oh, he didn't sing it again. 27:14.637 --> 27:15.717 What was he singing? 27:33.789 --> 27:38.872 Peace will come to me. 27:41.714 --> 27:47.118 What's it called when you when you're in a urinal and you can't move yourself to stage fright? 27:47.438 --> 27:48.319 Stage fright. 27:48.359 --> 27:48.559 Yeah. 27:48.759 --> 27:49.620 Be a good song for that. 27:49.700 --> 27:50.280 It would be good. 27:50.320 --> 27:50.900 Yes, exactly. 27:50.920 --> 27:54.123 Because I like to get myself in the zone sometimes. 27:54.143 --> 28:02.528 And when you when you get bad stage fright and you're surrounded, if you if you're a lady and you don't know what we're talking about, this is when men go into a urinal and it's a thing that ladies don't have to deal with. 28:02.548 --> 28:03.469 Well, they have the opposite. 28:04.249 --> 28:05.210 What, they have peace fright? 28:05.931 --> 28:08.132 No, they can't... Oh, let's not go into it anyway. 28:08.753 --> 28:09.253 Keep talking. 28:10.294 --> 28:11.435 We'll talk about it off air. 28:11.815 --> 28:14.497 The opposite of stage fright is just being very relaxed though, isn't it? 28:15.057 --> 28:15.277 Yeah. 28:15.698 --> 28:17.519 So they have a nice time in their cubicles. 28:17.559 --> 28:17.819 Yeah. 28:18.140 --> 28:18.560 Right, right. 28:19.040 --> 28:24.162 But if you're a man, sometimes you go in there and you're standing next to... James knows what I'm talking about. 28:24.182 --> 28:25.443 I have no idea what you're talking about. 28:25.843 --> 28:38.709 Sometimes you're standing there next to five burly men, you know, and it's very anxious making and you can't get in the zone and relax your muscles in your groin wall area sufficiently to do your wee wee business. 28:39.449 --> 28:40.230 Why is that shocking? 28:41.171 --> 28:42.372 You're making your shocked face. 28:43.233 --> 28:44.073 No, I'm not shocked. 28:44.113 --> 28:45.855 I'm just enraptured. 28:46.155 --> 28:47.216 Yeah, by grinal muscles. 28:47.236 --> 28:49.698 Painting such a wonderful picture for burly men. 28:49.999 --> 28:54.843 So sometimes, you know, you have to kind of breathe deeply through your nose and close your eyes. 28:54.903 --> 28:56.104 What I do is I close my eyes. 28:57.445 --> 29:02.489 I close my eyes, pull back the curtains. 29:03.149 --> 29:09.674 And then I sort of get in the zone and then I'm able to do my business. 29:09.714 --> 29:10.195 Just move on. 29:10.275 --> 29:12.737 I regretted saying that as well personally, so just move on. 29:12.777 --> 29:13.757 Don't even think about it. 29:15.258 --> 29:19.341 And then you could sing, peace will come to me. 29:20.182 --> 29:21.042 This is a disaster, isn't it? 29:21.243 --> 29:23.604 We're going to have our Sony's removed from us. 29:23.624 --> 29:25.265 They're going to be prized of us. 29:25.685 --> 29:27.006 Listen with crowbars. 29:28.206 --> 29:32.368 Hey, speaking of which though, I'll take this into a slightly more family area, right? 29:33.109 --> 29:33.609 Slightly more. 29:34.209 --> 29:38.672 If you go into a Lavi, this is something I've been thinking about and it's happened to me a few times recently. 29:38.692 --> 29:39.532 I'm still in the Lavi. 29:39.552 --> 29:41.153 There's no question of me coming out of the Lavi. 29:41.173 --> 29:42.234 Sorry, it's a family Lavi. 29:42.254 --> 29:42.774 It's a fun Lavi. 29:42.794 --> 29:43.774 Everyone goes to the Lavi, right? 29:43.795 --> 29:44.235 It's a leveller. 29:45.235 --> 29:46.457 The levelers go, everyone does. 29:46.877 --> 29:48.038 So you go into a Lavi, right? 29:48.138 --> 29:52.802 And there's only one guy stood at the urinal and there are maybe four free ones, right? 29:53.763 --> 29:58.087 But you just think, I would rather go into a cubicle. 29:58.407 --> 29:59.808 Do you feel like a bit of a snob? 30:00.329 --> 30:01.690 Do you think it's a snobbish thing to do? 30:01.710 --> 30:03.892 You think, I don't want to stand, I'm going to go for a cubicle. 30:04.452 --> 30:12.460 Well, the worrying thing is, if you go into a cubicle... And then you're busted for not actually... Well, then you emerge from the cubicle before the guy at the urinal's finished. 30:12.660 --> 30:15.182 And then he knows that you've got something to hide. 30:15.322 --> 30:19.966 Yeah, and he can hear probably that you're just doing a whistle-wazzle, you're not even lifting the seat. 30:20.447 --> 30:22.128 Sometimes I get to elaborate... You're not lifting the seat? 30:23.289 --> 30:24.150 You have lifted the seat. 30:24.170 --> 30:25.812 You're not putting the seat down, is what I'm saying. 30:26.512 --> 30:33.395 Sometimes I go to elaborate lengths to pretend that I do need a number doble because... A number doble. 30:34.475 --> 30:36.136 Do you know what I'm saying? 30:36.256 --> 30:38.277 So that the guy won't think I'm being snobbish. 30:38.397 --> 30:42.678 So he won't think, oh, too good to stand next to me at the urinal. 30:42.718 --> 30:43.739 He has to go into the cubicle. 30:43.759 --> 30:44.779 I don't want him to think that, right? 30:45.139 --> 30:51.902 So I do all this stuff like very loudly tearing off bits of toilet paper, you know, doing all the flush and all that stuff. 30:51.942 --> 30:55.243 I mean, I do the flush anyway, of course, and then come out sort of 30:56.043 --> 31:08.033 You know acting like I've done my business Looking relieved Let's play some more music. 31:08.053 --> 31:09.174 I'm so sorry about all this. 31:09.474 --> 31:10.615 Ladies and gentlemen, it's Joe's fault. 31:11.276 --> 31:12.637 This is blondie with rapture 31:13.180 --> 31:15.562 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is Blondie with Rapture. 31:15.582 --> 31:17.284 This is Adam and Joel on BBC6 Music. 31:17.644 --> 31:31.936 This morning's Black Squadron command was egg in mouth, and we had some terrific photographs emailed in from Matthew Borg, Nick Reed, Mr Anonymous Man, and Andy Hill. 31:31.996 --> 31:33.217 Here are these photos, Adam. 31:33.257 --> 31:36.941 I guess we'll try and put them on the websites, even though our website's a bit of a... 31:37.481 --> 31:38.982 a disastrous mess at the moment. 31:39.302 --> 31:41.824 It's about to be relaunched. 31:42.104 --> 31:43.705 But one of them is quite frightening. 31:43.745 --> 31:46.746 Who's the gentleman there with the balaclava in the egg in his mouth? 31:47.307 --> 31:47.567 Andy Hill. 31:47.587 --> 31:55.191 Andy, I guess he's got his black squadron balaclava and he wants to protect his identity in case he's on any undercover operations, but it does look quite alarming. 31:55.211 --> 31:59.594 That is a shocking picture because the balaclava has kind of pulled his eyes on a bit of a wand. 32:00.154 --> 32:12.259 So one of them is all squashed up, the other one's kind of lolling down and then he's got an egg in his mouth in one of the balaclava holes but it looks like someone's just shoved a snooker ball in his mouth and they're just about to do something very bad to him. 32:12.379 --> 32:20.222 Yeah but that's exciting in its own way and we must give enormous respect to those individuals who actually did hold a fresh egg in their mouth. 32:20.282 --> 32:21.743 No one looks good with an egg in their mouth. 32:21.983 --> 32:24.044 Well, Black Squadron isn't about looking good, Adam. 32:24.064 --> 32:24.565 No, it's not. 32:24.625 --> 32:26.126 It's about being efficient and ruthless. 32:26.146 --> 32:27.727 It's about getting the job done. 32:27.967 --> 32:31.709 And those four gentlemen have really got the job done, so congratulations to you. 32:32.089 --> 32:33.550 Have you ever put a whole leg in your mouth? 32:34.791 --> 32:34.991 No. 32:35.071 --> 32:35.972 In that way, with the shell on? 32:35.992 --> 32:36.272 Probably. 32:36.452 --> 32:40.134 It's a strange thing to do because it's a bit like standing on the edge of a precipice. 32:40.194 --> 32:41.295 Right, you want to bite, don't you? 32:41.315 --> 32:42.315 You want to bite down on the edge! 32:42.335 --> 32:44.857 The natural urge is to bite, but you can't because you'd get all eggy. 32:44.997 --> 32:48.041 And then you do the, have you done the fun thing of squeezing the ends of the egg? 32:48.121 --> 32:49.122 Oh, you can't break it, can you? 32:49.142 --> 32:49.783 You can't break it! 32:50.063 --> 32:50.204 No. 32:50.824 --> 32:52.406 With your, just your finger and thumb. 32:52.466 --> 32:53.007 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 32:53.087 --> 32:53.548 You cannot break. 32:53.588 --> 32:54.669 Because it's beautifully designed. 32:54.769 --> 32:56.051 Beautiful bit of design. 32:56.151 --> 32:58.174 By, by Hen's Bottoms Incorporated. 32:58.194 --> 32:59.095 By Salman Rushdie. 33:01.718 --> 33:03.159 Good job, Salman Rushdie. 33:03.199 --> 33:05.460 Listen, I need some advice from listeners. 33:05.680 --> 33:12.123 All yesterday and the day before, and a lot of today, I've had a spasmodic muscle beneath my eye. 33:12.223 --> 33:12.843 Know it very well. 33:12.863 --> 33:13.824 You're talking to Dr Buckles. 33:13.844 --> 33:17.545 What's going on beneath my left eye in the baggage area? 33:17.565 --> 33:18.146 Very familiar with it. 33:18.186 --> 33:20.987 There's just a little muscle that just can't stop partying. 33:21.087 --> 33:21.547 The eye twitch. 33:21.567 --> 33:22.788 It's like it's having a rave. 33:23.368 --> 33:24.149 all on its own. 33:24.309 --> 33:25.991 The rest of the body is failing to rave. 33:26.211 --> 33:27.813 Call me Dr Buckles and I'll tell you what's wrong. 33:28.074 --> 33:28.894 Dr Buckles? 33:28.935 --> 33:29.115 Yeah. 33:29.595 --> 33:33.840 I've got this dance party in my eye bag and they won't stop it. 33:34.461 --> 33:35.943 It's been going on for two days now. 33:35.963 --> 33:38.005 I think they're taking illegal drugs in there. 33:38.686 --> 33:39.667 The muscles going crazy. 33:40.067 --> 33:42.049 Dr. Buckles says, don't worry. 33:42.609 --> 33:43.450 First of all, don't worry. 33:43.490 --> 33:44.311 It's absolutely normal. 33:44.331 --> 33:47.093 I would have gone to Dr. Sexy, but there's a busy notice on his door. 33:48.514 --> 33:50.095 And there's strange noises coming from him. 33:50.115 --> 33:51.056 I think he's operating. 33:51.757 --> 33:52.517 He's in surgery. 33:53.838 --> 33:58.502 Don't even go further down that path because there's all kinds of terrible twists and turns you could take. 33:58.522 --> 34:03.026 But let Dr. Buckles reassure you that you are suffering from prodigy eye 34:04.827 --> 34:05.387 Prodigy. 34:05.707 --> 34:06.208 Prodigy. 34:06.608 --> 34:08.369 And it's a perfectly common complaint. 34:09.349 --> 34:12.591 But seriously for a moment, it's because you're tired, man. 34:12.651 --> 34:14.272 You're under that. 34:14.693 --> 34:20.836 It's what you get when you are tired and you get a little twitchy nerve or whatever it is, muscle under your eye. 34:21.417 --> 34:24.839 You could probably search for it on the internet and find out exactly what it's called. 34:25.299 --> 34:26.340 But yes, it's prodigy. 34:27.100 --> 34:28.982 And you just need a bit more rest and sleep. 34:29.002 --> 34:29.282 Really? 34:29.302 --> 34:30.524 You need to take care of yourself, yeah. 34:30.864 --> 34:31.164 Really? 34:31.204 --> 34:32.726 I'm a bit overstretched. 34:32.746 --> 34:33.567 A bit overstretched. 34:33.627 --> 34:35.509 Going to bed too late, burning the candle at both ends. 34:35.569 --> 34:36.109 I have been. 34:36.129 --> 34:37.230 I have been. 34:37.390 --> 34:37.831 Prodigy. 34:38.391 --> 34:38.712 Wow. 34:39.192 --> 34:39.493 Okay. 34:39.933 --> 34:40.554 Thanks, Doctor. 34:40.714 --> 34:41.094 Don't worry. 34:41.134 --> 34:41.595 Anything else? 34:41.935 --> 34:42.295 No, no. 34:42.315 --> 34:44.337 I'm still going to pop in and see Doctor Sexy. 34:46.099 --> 34:46.620 I wouldn't do. 34:46.660 --> 34:48.261 Can you give him another half an hour? 34:49.222 --> 34:50.183 No, I'm going to go in there. 34:50.323 --> 34:51.363 He's really very busy. 34:51.403 --> 34:51.743 No, I am. 34:51.783 --> 34:54.004 I'm going to force my way in and let me page him. 34:55.405 --> 34:56.345 Get operated on. 34:56.585 --> 34:56.846 All right. 34:57.026 --> 34:58.306 Because I'm very tense. 34:58.506 --> 35:00.167 I've got a free choice for you right now, listeners. 35:00.187 --> 35:00.967 Hope you enjoy this. 35:01.007 --> 35:04.009 We can fire this one off because it's got a nice... Yeah. 35:04.189 --> 35:05.950 Imagine you're sat on a stoop. 35:06.650 --> 35:08.230 A brown stone in New York. 35:08.250 --> 35:10.071 It's a lovely, balmy, sunny day. 35:10.931 --> 35:12.292 Keith Richards comes along. 35:13.392 --> 35:17.433 He picks the remains of a sandwich from his hair and starts munching on it. 35:17.713 --> 35:18.593 Offers you a little bit. 35:19.454 --> 35:21.634 He likes him and my sandwich, man. 35:22.094 --> 35:24.135 He says, thanks, Keith, you say. 35:24.255 --> 35:24.895 Bite into it. 35:25.195 --> 35:27.416 You have to spit it out again because it's been there for a while. 35:27.456 --> 35:28.756 It's got all moldy and stuff. 35:29.336 --> 35:33.497 And just at that moment, Mick Jagger comes around the corner, limbo dancing. 35:34.118 --> 35:34.958 And this is what he says. 35:35.498 --> 35:41.324 What if I didn't want to like textination? 35:41.404 --> 35:44.287 But I'm using email and nothing, is that a problem? 35:51.971 --> 35:53.612 It's like Pants Man all over again. 35:53.652 --> 35:56.174 That sounds like Philip from The Apprentice singing that one. 36:09.062 --> 36:22.154 that jingle and of course that means that it is time for Text the Nation which this week is all about kind of advertising jargon, the way that advertisers categorise and break down their audience into little groups and name them. 36:22.174 --> 36:26.338 We were talking about Tina's and Betty's and Charlotte's earlier on 36:26.938 --> 36:30.101 and describing what characterise those people. 36:30.121 --> 36:34.084 Yes, this is going to be a very useful text donation for people in the advertising industry. 36:34.344 --> 36:38.427 I'm sure a lot of the names we come up with, and our listeners come up with, are going to be used. 36:39.348 --> 36:42.590 For instance, here's one from Adam Yaitley. 36:43.111 --> 36:44.211 He's suggesting a Herman. 36:44.992 --> 36:47.433 And a Herman can't cook, drive or earn money. 36:47.453 --> 36:49.793 A Herman relies on friends and family. 36:50.533 --> 36:55.034 And the target products for a Herman are instant meals, oyster cards and Jimmy Carr DVDs. 36:56.594 --> 37:06.576 I like the idea of somebody who's completely dependent on other people, a sort of a sort of parasite of a person, a sort of a limpet who just attaches himself onto other people's households. 37:06.656 --> 37:09.277 And you know, you were a bit of a Herman for a while. 37:09.297 --> 37:09.757 Do you think? 37:10.397 --> 37:11.338 It makes you say that. 37:11.358 --> 37:14.160 You used to always hang around our friend Mark's house. 37:14.300 --> 37:15.200 Yeah, but it was nice. 37:15.301 --> 37:15.861 It was lovely. 37:15.881 --> 37:17.362 I'm not saying you're an evil Herman. 37:17.422 --> 37:21.124 I think it's a bit harsh to characterize Herman's as parasites because sometimes they're very nice. 37:21.144 --> 37:21.585 Yeah. 37:21.785 --> 37:26.628 And also there's people that I know a lot of people who can't drive and I don't think of them as parasitic because they can't drive. 37:26.768 --> 37:28.209 No, but you can do that for a bit. 37:28.730 --> 37:29.250 It's all right. 37:29.290 --> 37:31.691 But some people make a whole sort of life out of it. 37:31.812 --> 37:36.475 Well, Brian Eno always boasts about the fact that he can't drive saying that it leaves him more time to do more useful things. 37:36.575 --> 37:36.955 Really? 37:36.995 --> 37:37.155 Yeah. 37:37.355 --> 37:38.836 He's got an excuse for everything. 37:40.497 --> 37:41.458 Here is another one. 37:42.119 --> 37:43.900 This is from Dan in Bethnal Green. 37:44.581 --> 37:46.562 Hi Adam and Jo, what about the Flash Eddies? 37:46.923 --> 37:54.889 This is a demographic of men of working age who generally believe status is defined by the width of their TV screen. 37:55.189 --> 37:55.549 Yes. 37:55.629 --> 38:04.011 They can be seen every other weekend slowly walking around curries and other electronics stores, assessing new products and are never afraid to go one bigger. 38:04.351 --> 38:05.712 Size matters to these men. 38:06.012 --> 38:08.532 If it's big and it's plasma, they're king of their worlds. 38:08.932 --> 38:09.593 Eddies, are they? 38:09.933 --> 38:11.213 That's a flash eddy. 38:11.753 --> 38:12.593 Flash eddy. 38:12.613 --> 38:13.754 What do you think about that one? 38:13.794 --> 38:14.574 That's very useful. 38:14.674 --> 38:19.175 I mean, you absolutely need to know your eddies, especially if you're in the... Tele-business. 38:19.195 --> 38:19.855 Tele-business. 38:19.895 --> 38:20.215 Yeah. 38:20.755 --> 38:23.216 Here's one from Ra from Naam. 38:23.656 --> 38:25.980 meaning, shout them, Davos. 38:27.021 --> 38:38.017 They are 18-22 year old blokes with unimaginative nicknames who incessantly hug each other but constantly make anti- let's say homophobic jokes to balance the books. 38:39.161 --> 38:44.704 They're interested in buying bullet-style deodorants and bodybuilding aids to sort out their weenie bodies. 38:46.164 --> 38:47.405 Oh, a Davo. 38:47.825 --> 38:49.266 Does that fit with you? 38:49.666 --> 38:52.207 Can I make a confession that I haven't actually read these through? 38:52.227 --> 38:56.289 I'm kind of just reading them out live as they come to me. 38:57.149 --> 39:01.231 Oh, you're making all kinds of... Oh, look at this thing I can't read out. 39:01.811 --> 39:05.833 Shame I started on this one. 39:08.454 --> 39:11.115 Davos is good though, that's a well observed one. 39:11.135 --> 39:13.816 And that ties into your observation about those bullet shaped deodorants. 39:13.836 --> 39:15.237 Have they removed those adverts yet? 39:15.597 --> 39:16.558 I don't know, I hope so. 39:16.578 --> 39:18.098 It's the power of this programme. 39:18.238 --> 39:20.199 Absolutely. 39:20.520 --> 39:26.222 Bad news Terry, it looks as if our new bullet shaped deodorant campaign has got the thumbs down on the Adam and Jo show on 6 Music. 39:26.242 --> 39:27.583 Quick, pull it off all bus shelters. 39:27.643 --> 39:31.825 And it cost ten million quid for crying out loud there. 39:32.465 --> 39:33.586 Do we still have to take it up? 39:33.866 --> 39:35.807 Yes, because it got the thumbs down on their show. 39:36.007 --> 39:39.189 Not only did it get the thumbs down, but Joe gave it the thumbs down. 39:39.429 --> 39:45.932 Joe even gave it a pirate R. Here's another one from a person. 39:46.432 --> 39:50.374 Who knows, I might come across their name whilst reading the email app for the first time in the text. 39:50.774 --> 39:51.975 I thought this was your domain. 39:52.016 --> 39:52.616 I thought text was yours. 39:52.656 --> 39:53.437 It was, but I'm ill today. 39:53.457 --> 39:55.419 I've got a twitchy eye in my chest. 39:55.479 --> 39:57.322 It's got prodigy and dodgy throat. 40:05.771 --> 40:13.917 In order to dispose of this income, effectively, they buy equipment for activities they've tried once and really want to get into, e.g. 40:13.977 --> 40:17.240 climbing, a climbing harness, a surfboard or a piano. 40:17.560 --> 40:21.643 These items are never used but make the owner appear active and interesting to any visitors. 40:21.663 --> 40:22.444 What are they called again? 40:22.784 --> 40:24.205 Alora. 40:24.245 --> 40:25.126 That's good, isn't it? 40:25.146 --> 40:26.287 That is a good category, certainly. 40:26.327 --> 40:26.927 Who sent that? 40:26.967 --> 40:27.928 They didn't give their name. 40:28.248 --> 40:28.829 Probably Laura. 40:30.330 --> 40:32.231 We'll have some more of these in the next half hour. 40:32.251 --> 40:34.793 We're going to play some music now and take us into the news. 40:34.833 --> 40:36.755 This is the Beastie Boys with Intergalactic. 40:49.824 --> 40:50.985 Yeah, the song's finished. 40:51.205 --> 40:53.006 Don't know what you're still doing going on. 40:53.166 --> 40:54.207 Very excitable, they are. 40:54.507 --> 40:58.109 That was Sly and the Family Stone with Sing a Simple Song. 40:58.129 --> 41:00.050 And this is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music. 41:00.110 --> 41:01.091 How's your prodigy, man? 41:01.331 --> 41:01.932 It's still there. 41:01.952 --> 41:02.632 It's still twitching. 41:02.672 --> 41:06.995 Thank you to everybody who has texted in telling me I'm potassium deficient. 41:07.515 --> 41:14.399 Someone else had an actual, oh, the muscle involved is the orbicularis oculi. 41:15.980 --> 41:19.902 And apparently, yeah, I've got to have some bananas and sleep. 41:19.982 --> 41:20.482 That's nice. 41:20.522 --> 41:21.863 I'm just going to stay in bed tomorrow. 41:21.983 --> 41:23.704 Bananas and sleep. 41:23.784 --> 41:25.224 Good excuse to stay in bed all day. 41:25.244 --> 41:25.805 Bananas and sleep. 41:26.025 --> 41:26.825 Yeah, absolutely. 41:27.305 --> 41:27.465 Mmm. 41:27.865 --> 41:29.166 Delicious bananas. 41:29.426 --> 41:31.907 And do you mush the bananas up and rub them into your eye? 41:31.987 --> 41:32.968 I will do now that you've said it. 41:32.988 --> 41:34.308 That's the way to go, isn't it? 41:34.328 --> 41:36.289 Yeah, I won't just rub them into my eye either. 41:36.509 --> 41:36.729 No. 41:37.210 --> 41:38.530 All over my nude body. 41:38.650 --> 41:39.211 Spock notch. 41:40.131 --> 41:42.472 All the way up my Spock notch. 41:43.132 --> 41:44.373 It's absolutely Spock notch. 41:45.474 --> 41:47.615 I can't believe you've never had Prodigy before in your life. 41:47.635 --> 41:52.138 I have, fleetingly, but it's never hung around for a couple of days like what it has in the last couple of days. 41:52.158 --> 41:53.980 I'm just under the weather. 41:54.300 --> 41:57.342 I'm involved in so many high-powered projects. 41:57.783 --> 42:02.126 The first time I got Prodigy, I was really worried about it because I thought this is no good. 42:02.206 --> 42:04.768 My body is completely malfunctioning in a very distressing way. 42:05.148 --> 42:06.908 And it's not something you're taught about. 42:06.928 --> 42:09.489 It's not something that parents say... Unless you listen to this program. 42:09.629 --> 42:10.329 Right, exactly. 42:10.829 --> 42:14.030 We're like the parents of stupid teenagers everywhere. 42:14.250 --> 42:14.470 Yeah. 42:14.650 --> 42:15.691 Not just stupid teenagers. 42:15.751 --> 42:16.511 Intelligent people. 42:17.151 --> 42:23.612 But, you know, no one tells you when you get a bit tired and run down and become potassium deficient, your eye might start twitching. 42:23.853 --> 42:26.513 And you said a few weeks ago as well that you don't get floaters. 42:26.633 --> 42:28.754 Floaters being, they're also known as... 42:30.915 --> 42:32.135 Oh, what are they called? 42:32.796 --> 42:34.557 Serial entoptics. 42:34.797 --> 42:45.583 It's when you get tiny little, what looks like bits of hair or something floating around and it looks as if they've been magnified and they're floating across the surface of your eye or something. 42:46.024 --> 42:46.464 You know what I mean? 42:46.664 --> 42:47.705 And you reckon you never get those? 42:47.725 --> 42:48.945 When I close my eyes, yeah. 42:50.166 --> 42:51.027 No, that's a different thing. 42:51.067 --> 42:53.768 When you close your eyes and you push them, you can kind of see mad patterns. 42:53.788 --> 42:54.488 All sorts of things. 42:54.548 --> 42:55.389 Crazy patterns, yeah. 42:55.429 --> 42:56.269 Crazy patterns. 42:56.469 --> 43:01.752 There's an amazing artist called David O'Reilly, who makes amazing computer animations. 43:01.792 --> 43:12.598 And he's actually made a thing called Serial End Toptics, and he's created with computer animation that effect that you get when you get floaters, and also the effect you get when you close your eyes and you push on them. 43:13.118 --> 43:15.319 You can check out his website, and they're on there, I think. 43:15.839 --> 43:17.140 Well worth a big look at. 43:18.120 --> 43:19.961 So that's health news for you listeners. 43:19.981 --> 43:21.382 Are you doing that, man? 43:21.402 --> 43:23.002 You're staring now in a mad way. 43:23.143 --> 43:23.823 I think I'm dying. 43:23.843 --> 43:24.943 Are you feeling a bit zoned out? 43:25.163 --> 43:25.704 No, I'm fine. 43:25.724 --> 43:26.664 I'm ready for the next thing. 43:26.844 --> 43:27.124 Okay. 43:27.665 --> 43:28.665 We've got Jarvis coming up. 43:28.905 --> 43:36.889 Now, apparently Jarvis is going to be behind the counter at the HMV in Oxford Street on Monday to promote the launch of his new album. 43:36.929 --> 43:38.930 He's actually going to be, you know, like working there. 43:39.190 --> 43:39.510 Wow. 43:39.730 --> 43:40.611 That would be good, wouldn't it? 43:40.651 --> 43:41.872 To get served by Java? 43:42.172 --> 43:44.434 Yeah, I hope he's a sort of opinionated server. 43:44.654 --> 43:44.835 Right. 43:44.855 --> 43:45.335 Do you know what I mean? 43:45.355 --> 43:47.757 The kind of person who would encourage you not to buy something. 43:48.578 --> 43:49.539 Well, look at your purchases. 43:49.559 --> 43:52.441 Yeah, I used to do that when I worked at the now defunct Tower Records. 43:52.461 --> 43:54.743 That's the worst kind of serving person there. 43:54.824 --> 43:56.025 I'd go, no mate, you don't want that. 43:56.805 --> 43:57.946 That's rubbish. 43:57.986 --> 43:58.707 Did you really? 43:58.787 --> 43:59.568 Yeah, with films. 43:59.688 --> 44:02.250 If someone was buying a real stinker, I would try and talk them out of it. 44:02.270 --> 44:03.091 He puns. 44:03.492 --> 44:08.657 If they were buying a record by Bros, because that was the circular era when I was working. 44:08.677 --> 44:09.277 It's not. 44:09.818 --> 44:11.499 I'd refuse to give them their change. 44:12.120 --> 44:13.481 And they'd go, give me my change. 44:13.921 --> 44:16.304 And I'd go, I owe you nothing. 44:19.207 --> 44:20.629 Nothing at all. 44:20.669 --> 44:21.991 Like that, and they'd look confused. 44:22.231 --> 44:25.316 You are exactly the kind of jerk that makes people slice. 44:25.356 --> 44:26.918 I was only a teammate. 44:27.119 --> 44:28.020 That's enjoyable. 44:28.541 --> 44:30.263 Well, let's hope Jarvis doesn't do anything like that. 44:30.624 --> 44:31.645 Here's his new single. 44:31.665 --> 44:32.306 This is Angela. 44:33.089 --> 44:36.270 Jarvis Cocker with Angela, this is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music. 44:36.310 --> 44:40.051 That's from his new album and I've been reading a few reviews of that. 44:40.091 --> 44:41.231 They seem quite mixed. 44:41.751 --> 44:48.113 Some people loving it, some people complaining about the rhythm track or people complaining about some quite specific element in there. 44:48.273 --> 44:49.113 The rhythm track. 44:49.133 --> 44:51.434 Yeah, and two or three reviews weirdly have brought it up. 44:51.674 --> 44:52.794 The hi-hat sound. 44:52.955 --> 44:54.475 I was appalled by the hi-hat. 44:54.855 --> 44:56.256 on Jarvis Cocker's new album. 45:11.900 --> 45:12.280 Oh, I see. 45:12.381 --> 45:13.141 Holloway Road. 45:13.201 --> 45:13.762 I do apologise. 45:14.202 --> 45:24.491 Firstly, because we too sing this each time we're on the 43 bus to Islington, but not least because we sent you an MP3 of us singing Adam and Jo to the very same tune a couple of weeks ago. 45:25.032 --> 45:29.195 We were a trifle myth that our favourite radio rapscallions didn't give it a mention. 45:29.656 --> 45:32.298 That is, if it did reach you the first time around. 45:32.398 --> 45:39.279 Well, this was last week's Text of the Nation when we were asking people about the songs they sang, you know, as part of their everyday routine that they customised. 45:39.379 --> 45:42.860 Yeah, retooling pop songs to fit some kind of banal activity. 45:42.920 --> 45:45.021 Domestic jingles, if you like. 45:45.561 --> 45:58.863 And we did read out somebody who's sung Holloway Road to the tune of Holiday Road, but this is Ed and Varric's version of that song, but they've changed the lyrics to be a kind of jingle for this show. 45:58.923 --> 45:59.244 Here it is. 46:04.545 --> 46:09.877 Alimenta, alimenta, alimenta 46:16.158 --> 46:16.859 That's very nice. 46:16.939 --> 46:21.782 We don't want to encourage people to bully us now if they send us something and we don't play it, you know? 46:21.982 --> 46:22.242 Yeah. 46:22.322 --> 46:25.625 Because we don't want to be seen to be giving in to terrorists. 46:25.865 --> 46:29.267 No, and also there's no favouritism or anything like that. 46:29.307 --> 46:35.031 In a way, in the sort of low-level playing field of this programme, that is an act of terrorism, to what they've done. 46:35.132 --> 46:35.592 Email us. 46:36.092 --> 46:36.192 Yes. 46:38.034 --> 46:38.594 That's terrorism. 46:38.634 --> 46:39.395 To email us. 46:39.655 --> 46:43.337 They haven't in so much as threatened us, but they have emailed us. 46:44.798 --> 46:46.039 What part of it was threatening? 46:46.120 --> 46:49.002 We've absolutely folded to it instantly. 46:49.082 --> 46:52.004 There was no threatening part of that anywhere. 46:52.285 --> 46:53.786 We were a trifle miffed. 46:54.286 --> 46:55.587 Now come on, that's threatening. 46:56.048 --> 46:57.629 I'm feared of miffness. 46:57.769 --> 47:00.652 In Cornball's government, that's absolute terrorism. 47:00.712 --> 47:02.913 Oh no, they're coming this way and they're a trifle miffed. 47:02.953 --> 47:04.375 We're going to have to erupt. 47:04.975 --> 47:07.457 and remove some more basic freedoms. 47:08.598 --> 47:15.784 But listen, that comes, of course, most famously, that tune was used in National Lampoon's Vacation, which is a terrific film. 47:15.844 --> 47:21.609 And we were talking about the scene where Chevy Chase has a little... Chevy Chase. 47:21.889 --> 47:25.792 Chevy has a little dalliance with a lady in the hotel pool. 47:26.032 --> 47:27.173 We were trying to remember who it was. 47:27.193 --> 47:28.595 I think it was Christie Brinkley, wasn't it? 47:28.675 --> 47:31.797 It was whoever was the most attractive woman on the planet that week. 47:31.837 --> 47:33.459 Billy Joel's wife, Christie Brinkley. 47:33.979 --> 47:34.239 Yeah. 47:34.560 --> 47:35.140 Hot mama. 47:35.260 --> 47:38.864 You can always tell they're really attractive women because they always end up with a slightly duff-looking man. 47:39.364 --> 47:39.685 Right. 47:40.065 --> 47:43.609 Well, yeah, they're fulfilling the wishes, the fantasies of all duff-looking men. 47:43.649 --> 47:48.113 Like all duff-looking men were so delighted when Julia Roberts went out with that wonky country western guy. 47:48.674 --> 47:49.174 What was his name? 47:49.214 --> 47:49.635 Lyle Lovett. 47:49.655 --> 47:50.175 Lyle Lovett. 47:50.195 --> 47:50.876 Everyone's like, yes! 47:50.956 --> 47:52.397 There is hope. 47:52.918 --> 47:53.639 And then they got divorced. 47:53.659 --> 47:55.200 It's like, oh! 47:55.741 --> 47:58.043 Anyway, here's Lindsay Buckingham with Holiday Row. 47:59.727 --> 48:06.154 There's not enough synthesised dog barking percussion on records, I don't think. 48:06.975 --> 48:08.816 Oh, that's a good track. 48:09.277 --> 48:09.798 That's brilliant. 48:10.598 --> 48:12.961 He was quite big for a while, wasn't he, Lindsey Buckingham? 48:13.041 --> 48:16.725 I know he was absolutely big because he was in Fleetwood Mac, wasn't he? 48:17.526 --> 48:19.368 And he had that song. 48:19.528 --> 48:24.274 And I go insane like I always do. 48:24.334 --> 48:25.796 That doesn't sound anything like the song. 48:25.856 --> 48:26.637 Is it good that song? 48:26.897 --> 48:27.538 It's quite good. 48:27.678 --> 48:31.623 I mean, he was a comforting presence in the 80s with his mad eyeliner and stupid hair. 48:31.823 --> 48:32.644 That's a good song. 48:33.738 --> 48:34.839 Thank you very much indeed. 48:34.859 --> 48:36.061 I don't know who I'm thanking. 48:36.081 --> 48:37.803 Well, Lindsay Buckingham. 48:37.823 --> 48:38.103 Yeah. 48:38.444 --> 48:41.027 And the man who invented CDs. 48:41.107 --> 48:41.508 And pop. 48:41.868 --> 48:42.429 And pop. 48:42.629 --> 48:43.190 Thank you very much. 48:43.250 --> 48:45.052 That was Jules Holland, I think, that invented pop. 48:45.073 --> 48:45.353 Was it? 48:45.533 --> 48:45.854 Yeah. 48:45.874 --> 48:47.976 Oh, I was hoping you might do that. 48:47.996 --> 48:51.461 You're worried about jinxing the genius of your original impression by doing another one. 48:51.801 --> 48:55.342 Yeah, I can't repeat my Jules Holland impression because it might go wrong. 48:55.382 --> 48:56.223 Has to come naturally. 48:56.723 --> 49:00.204 So Joe, MPs, expenses. 49:00.644 --> 49:05.666 Oh, I'm glad you bought this up because there hasn't been enough talk about this subject in the media. 49:05.706 --> 49:07.427 I know you like hot button topics. 49:07.447 --> 49:08.607 I love hot button topics. 49:09.227 --> 49:10.788 I saw Dervla Cohen. 49:10.808 --> 49:12.208 Do you know the actress Dervla Cohen? 49:12.689 --> 49:15.870 She was in Bally Kiss Angel and she's a well-known TV actress. 49:16.810 --> 49:19.774 And she was on The One Show. 49:19.834 --> 49:20.995 Is it still called The One Show? 49:21.095 --> 49:21.375 Yes. 49:21.395 --> 49:25.460 With Adrienne Childs and The Lady. 49:26.041 --> 49:29.405 And they were talking about MP's expenses and they just asked Dervle Cohen. 49:30.366 --> 49:33.049 And I thought maybe she'd come out with some kind of wishy-washy. 49:33.089 --> 49:34.751 Yeah, you know, well, that's shocking. 49:34.811 --> 49:37.454 That's what I would come out with if I was asked about that in a TV show. 49:37.834 --> 49:38.936 She was absolutely adamant. 49:38.996 --> 49:41.280 She said, it's a disgrace. 49:41.440 --> 49:42.763 It's an absolute disgrace. 49:42.983 --> 49:43.925 We've been let down. 49:44.245 --> 49:46.068 I spent my whole life being honest. 49:46.349 --> 49:48.512 I never fiddled a single thing in my life. 49:49.013 --> 49:50.375 And I think it's shocking. 49:51.437 --> 49:54.240 And even Adrien Charles was like, what, you never fiddle anything? 49:54.460 --> 49:55.681 Not a single thing you've been dishonest? 49:55.881 --> 49:56.161 No! 49:56.822 --> 49:59.144 Came the answer from, she said it nicer than that, she didn't shout. 49:59.544 --> 50:02.947 But her attitude was saying... Well now I'm worried about you and Adrien Charles. 50:03.208 --> 50:03.428 Why? 50:03.448 --> 50:05.209 Because you've clearly fiddled things. 50:05.290 --> 50:06.491 Have you not fiddled nothing? 50:06.771 --> 50:07.051 Never. 50:07.431 --> 50:07.872 Never. 50:07.952 --> 50:08.613 You're like Dervle Kerwin. 50:08.633 --> 50:09.653 I've never fiddled anything. 50:09.673 --> 50:10.254 I don't believe you. 50:10.434 --> 50:11.135 I don't believe you. 50:11.255 --> 50:12.536 I do believe Dervle Kerwin. 50:12.676 --> 50:13.477 I don't believe you. 50:13.637 --> 50:14.318 You are the fiddler. 50:14.878 --> 50:15.639 You're Johnny Fiddler. 50:16.179 --> 50:17.360 What thing to accuse me of? 50:17.380 --> 50:18.140 What's your evidence? 50:18.220 --> 50:20.302 You're the Yehudi Menuhin of life. 50:20.342 --> 50:20.862 I fiddled. 50:21.042 --> 50:22.003 You loved to fiddle. 50:22.083 --> 50:22.263 What? 50:22.283 --> 50:22.884 Where's your evidence? 50:22.964 --> 50:23.544 I don't know. 50:23.564 --> 50:24.325 I'm projecting. 50:24.345 --> 50:26.826 I fiddled lots of things. 50:26.907 --> 50:27.387 Clearly. 50:28.027 --> 50:30.829 You've never taken like toilet paper from work? 50:31.930 --> 50:32.190 No. 50:32.210 --> 50:34.092 A bit of computer printing paper? 50:35.012 --> 50:35.473 Pens. 50:35.533 --> 50:36.733 Sometimes I steal pens. 50:36.753 --> 50:37.214 You're the Fiddler. 50:37.994 --> 50:38.635 A biro. 50:38.655 --> 50:39.496 Is that bad? 50:39.736 --> 50:39.936 Yes. 50:40.256 --> 50:42.959 Could an MP be thrown out of court for nicking a biro? 50:43.099 --> 50:43.700 Definitely! 50:43.720 --> 50:44.780 What about a lighter? 50:45.161 --> 50:48.364 Sometimes I go home with other people's lighters in the past, I've done that. 50:48.384 --> 50:49.084 Public apology. 50:49.885 --> 51:03.057 I hereby apologise unreservedly to listeners of the BBC Four in 1985, taking Chris Barnes' bit lighter accidentally from his house. 51:03.362 --> 51:05.303 Now you've busted barns for being a filthy smoker. 51:05.463 --> 51:06.443 So I'm going to thank you for that. 51:06.463 --> 51:07.363 This was in the 80s. 51:07.603 --> 51:08.163 Yeah, well. 51:08.464 --> 51:09.544 Everyone smoked in the 80s. 51:09.624 --> 51:10.224 That's true. 51:10.244 --> 51:11.084 It was healthy back there. 51:11.104 --> 51:14.505 It was acceptable in the 80s. 51:14.685 --> 51:16.186 That's the only thing you've ever fiddled, is it? 51:16.206 --> 51:18.466 You've never tried to. 51:18.667 --> 51:19.787 You are such a liar. 51:20.788 --> 51:22.009 I know I'm not a big fiddler. 51:22.310 --> 51:36.227 I'm not a big fiddler, but I'm he can't even look at me Well, I'm not looking at cuz I remember I'm trying to remember some of your fiddles What about the photographs that we've got of your fiddles all the good times that we used to have oh, okay? 51:36.267 --> 51:37.048 That was stealing 51:39.002 --> 51:40.423 That wasn't as subtle as fiddling. 51:40.443 --> 51:41.825 Fiddling's a nice word. 51:41.845 --> 51:42.886 That was just theft. 51:43.626 --> 51:48.511 I may have done some shoplifting in the 80s, but that's something that lots of kids go through. 51:48.631 --> 51:50.373 That's not true, and we're not encouraging it by any means. 51:50.413 --> 51:52.435 No, it's a terrible thing, but that's a bit different. 51:52.455 --> 51:55.758 That's a kind of rite of passage when you're discovering the nature of property and theft. 51:55.778 --> 51:57.600 You weren't shoplifting, though, come on. 51:57.900 --> 51:58.260 That was. 51:59.421 --> 52:17.382 kind of wasn't all right wasn't technically shocking as a member of the big british carl you could even get thrown out retrospectively for admitting something i did in in 1986 definitely definitely come on if they're putting people in prison for with dna evidence you know i mean that's murder obviously it's slightly different but 52:17.922 --> 52:31.664 Yeah, they could retrospectively caution you, hang you out, because they don't... I can't believe that this link has ended up with me being forced into a criminal confession about petty shoplifting I did in the mid-80s. 52:33.366 --> 52:38.110 when it started out with MPs tax fiddling and now I'm on the ropes. 52:38.310 --> 52:45.757 See this is a good example of me not I didn't want you to confess to any grand larceny. 52:46.137 --> 52:49.360 I was interested in like pens and print paper. 52:51.621 --> 52:54.003 I've been skillfully manipulated by Sherlock. 52:54.804 --> 52:57.568 Buxton, into making a confession. 52:58.209 --> 53:01.213 We better play some more music before, before we're all fired. 53:01.414 --> 53:03.196 This is Fresh Go with Got to Be Real. 53:03.905 --> 53:04.766 That's Fresco. 53:05.126 --> 53:05.926 We've got to be real. 53:05.946 --> 53:08.268 That was a free play chosen by me. 53:09.068 --> 53:10.429 And it's good, wasn't it? 53:10.469 --> 53:10.930 Wasn't it good? 53:10.990 --> 53:11.370 That's good. 53:11.410 --> 53:12.030 Where'd you find that one? 53:12.711 --> 53:18.215 Fresco is from the year 1989 and his DJ is called Miz M-I-Z. 53:18.975 --> 53:19.776 1989 was a big year, man. 53:19.996 --> 53:21.517 And he was a great year for hip hop. 53:21.577 --> 53:27.841 He was the, you know, the the rapping champion that year and Miz was the DJ champion that year, you know, top in the world. 53:28.381 --> 53:30.823 And they got together and formed Fresco and Miz. 53:31.343 --> 53:31.724 Yeah. 53:32.464 --> 53:33.765 And they released that record. 53:33.945 --> 53:34.285 What? 53:35.666 --> 53:36.647 What did you do there? 53:37.068 --> 53:38.669 I just was talking. 53:38.749 --> 53:40.850 Where you started talking though? 53:41.071 --> 53:41.531 Yeah. 53:42.872 --> 53:44.033 And they're from Philadelphia. 53:44.333 --> 53:45.494 Old school Philly hip hop. 53:45.534 --> 53:45.754 Yeah. 53:45.954 --> 53:48.096 I just want to make it clear that that's a really great free play. 53:48.116 --> 53:48.797 That is a great free play. 53:48.817 --> 53:50.018 Just in case you had any doubts. 53:50.558 --> 54:08.230 that's a flea play a flea play that's a great flea play um so i've been watching little bits of telly this week and i found myself watching uh what are they called what's she called um cat dealie no jordan and peter peter and jordan oh pandre yeah on i tv too poor old pandre 54:08.710 --> 54:10.912 And obviously, apparently, the ratings have gone up. 54:10.932 --> 54:11.833 What's that program called? 54:11.913 --> 54:14.195 It's called KTMP Stateside or something. 54:14.215 --> 54:17.478 It's the new series, the reality show of their life in Los Angeles. 54:17.938 --> 54:23.663 And obviously, the very sad news that they separated, split up, came through this week, didn't it? 54:24.164 --> 54:28.748 So it gives an interesting sort of tone to the show. 54:29.108 --> 54:32.250 And presumably they will have filmed right up until and including the split. 54:32.310 --> 54:34.111 That'll be... Who knows, we're gonna have to keep watching. 54:34.211 --> 54:35.031 Something to look forward to. 54:35.192 --> 54:41.335 You know, it's a very obviously powerful, intelligent and taxing program, but I've managed to watch some of it. 54:41.915 --> 54:48.139 And obviously once looking for cracks in the relationship in a kind of morbid way, you know, it's only human, isn't it? 54:48.559 --> 54:49.860 To morbidly. 54:50.560 --> 54:55.003 And there was quite a big... To be studying other people and to be hoping and rubbing your hands together with glee. 54:55.023 --> 54:56.684 That's what ITV2 is all about, isn't it? 54:57.344 --> 54:58.846 taking pleasure in other people's misery. 54:58.886 --> 55:00.067 Yeah, exactly. 55:00.187 --> 55:01.829 It's the sort of ambulance chase this channel. 55:01.849 --> 55:02.670 That's the only slogan. 55:02.890 --> 55:03.111 It is. 55:03.131 --> 55:05.794 They've got the new Carrie Catona series coming on there. 55:05.934 --> 55:06.434 That's right. 55:06.454 --> 55:09.578 She's actually in quite serious difficulty, isn't she? 55:09.638 --> 55:10.299 I do, me too. 55:10.319 --> 55:11.700 Taking pleasure in other people's misery. 55:11.720 --> 55:13.302 They're still in there with a camera crew. 55:14.984 --> 55:30.610 Anyway, Peter Andre, there was a little clip, and he was going up to one of their big cars outside the house in Los Angeles, and it was one of Katie's 4x4s, you know, and he opened the door and was met by a very overpowering stench. 55:31.611 --> 55:36.853 Oh, God, that smells... What the... Oh, God, what's... This is Katie. 55:37.153 --> 55:42.315 Katie's been using this, and oh, and he pulls out these old cartons of rancid food. 55:43.035 --> 55:44.817 That's eight week old chicken in there. 55:44.957 --> 55:46.238 I thought maybe it was her new scent. 55:46.379 --> 55:48.881 She's turned her car into a complete trash heap. 55:49.262 --> 55:53.286 Some people do that with their cars, you know, they'll just fling stuff in the... In the foot world. 55:53.406 --> 55:54.087 My wife. 55:54.127 --> 55:54.507 Really? 55:54.627 --> 55:57.450 And they will just turn their cars into a... skip. 55:57.570 --> 55:59.332 Will you turn your phone off? 55:59.352 --> 56:00.453 You turned it off for me. 56:00.473 --> 56:01.114 That wasn't fine. 56:01.134 --> 56:01.915 That was someone else's. 56:02.375 --> 56:02.815 Who's was that? 56:03.636 --> 56:04.336 James, a producer. 56:04.356 --> 56:04.636 Very bad. 56:04.996 --> 56:07.017 Anyway, the cars are complete stinky trash heap. 56:07.338 --> 56:08.238 Peter opens the door. 56:08.278 --> 56:11.080 He's hit by a wall of stench and he looks really depressed. 56:11.320 --> 56:15.602 And this seems to trigger some kind of thing about his relationship with Katie as a whole. 56:16.202 --> 56:18.583 And there may have been an edit here. 56:18.623 --> 56:22.846 I'm not sure whether it was the same thing, but moments later he's going, I hate Katie. 56:24.246 --> 56:30.151 Actually, I hate too strong a word, but sometimes I really, sometimes she really annoys me. 56:31.433 --> 56:33.414 I mean, when I love her, I really love her. 56:33.955 --> 56:34.655 She's amazing. 56:34.996 --> 56:37.758 But when I hate her, I really hate her. 56:38.478 --> 56:40.540 But that's their relationship in a nutshell, isn't it? 56:40.640 --> 56:42.522 That's why it's so dramatic and fun to watch. 56:42.542 --> 56:46.926 Yeah, because she can be damningly down and sort of grumpy. 56:47.426 --> 56:54.291 But I thought, you know, using the H word there, I thought, you know, that's maybe strong and maybe that's just, you know, the little fissure there and the stench in the car. 56:54.331 --> 57:00.235 He's learnt it off Katie because that's her whole grammar is just hate and contempt. 57:00.395 --> 57:00.655 Is it? 57:00.775 --> 57:05.758 She displays the kind of contempt for Pendre that it would be very difficult for any man to live. 57:05.778 --> 57:06.099 Really? 57:06.119 --> 57:06.559 Every now and again. 57:06.579 --> 57:08.080 You've watched more of this programme than I have. 57:08.180 --> 57:11.062 Yeah, because he's a likeable fellow, you know, and I wish him the best. 57:11.122 --> 57:12.143 And she's likeable. 57:12.163 --> 57:12.783 He's a gentle giant. 57:12.823 --> 57:14.424 She can be likeable too, you know. 57:14.865 --> 57:16.466 There are moments when she's very lovable. 57:16.966 --> 57:20.569 But sometimes the contempt that she exudes for Ponderay is shocking. 57:20.889 --> 57:23.230 Her sons are obsessed with her breasts. 57:23.591 --> 57:23.791 Yeah. 57:23.831 --> 57:24.631 Have you noticed that? 57:25.172 --> 57:25.452 Well... 57:26.314 --> 57:29.496 I mean, it's natural for the children to be obsessed with their mother's breasts. 57:29.516 --> 57:30.336 But markedly so. 57:30.596 --> 57:31.356 To a certain degree. 57:31.416 --> 57:31.657 Why? 57:31.717 --> 57:32.677 I mean, in what way? 57:32.737 --> 57:35.738 Are they hanging off them and just ogling them and tweaking them? 57:35.779 --> 57:37.699 Everything a fully grown man would be doing. 57:39.720 --> 57:43.022 Sometimes pondering gets quite jealous, doesn't it? 57:43.042 --> 57:44.042 I haven't seen those bits. 57:44.102 --> 57:44.883 I'd better watch more. 57:45.443 --> 57:46.424 Anyway, it's a great series. 57:46.864 --> 57:48.084 Don't forget to tune in. 57:48.344 --> 57:48.905 Tune in. 57:49.325 --> 57:50.966 Sooner or later, you'll see them split up. 57:53.107 --> 57:53.567 More music. 57:53.747 --> 57:55.648 Here's Little Boots with New Intel. 58:03.524 --> 58:30.062 squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky 58:30.262 --> 58:32.384 still listening, putting off their shopping expeditions. 58:32.664 --> 58:37.968 Desperate to hear the result of the most important competition in the world of the week today. 58:38.068 --> 58:43.973 The nation's second favourite feature, because the nation's favourite feature is song water, is text the nation. 58:45.174 --> 58:53.221 And here is a little text the nation jingle that was created for us by young Charlotte Gilman, aged I think around four or five, six. 58:53.881 --> 58:56.063 And here's her version of our text the nation jingle. 58:57.435 --> 59:01.378 Text the nation, text, text, text! 59:01.799 --> 59:06.183 But what if I don't want to text the nation and send you an email? 59:06.363 --> 59:07.685 Is that a problem? 59:07.885 --> 59:08.726 It doesn't matter! 59:08.786 --> 59:09.086 Text! 59:13.208 --> 59:15.269 I'd like her to perform that live in the studio. 59:15.329 --> 59:16.109 Is that possible? 59:16.309 --> 59:17.290 Yeah, she's amazing. 59:17.450 --> 59:19.290 If we go on holiday, she should just fill in for us. 59:19.330 --> 59:19.990 She really should. 59:20.010 --> 59:21.251 It would be amazing. 59:21.471 --> 59:32.615 Text the Nation this week is all about how if you were in the advertising industry, you would break down your demographics and basically create new types of categories of people. 59:33.035 --> 59:33.996 That's pretty bad. 59:35.916 --> 59:37.477 I'll make the idea where we get into it. 59:37.958 --> 59:40.279 This is one from Alistair that has come via text. 59:40.739 --> 59:45.862 His idea for a new demographic group for advertisers to target is big smokies. 59:46.743 --> 59:55.267 These are young graduates that move to London as soon as they graduate and then find a way to shoehorn that fact into any conversation they have. 59:55.628 --> 59:59.030 They think it makes them look important and thrusting and perhaps they're right. 59:59.770 --> 01:00:00.670 Big Smokies. 01:00:00.951 --> 01:00:01.171 Big Smokies. 01:00:01.251 --> 01:00:04.452 I mean, we've always been Big Smokies, you and I, having grown up in there. 01:00:04.472 --> 01:00:09.854 So yeah, it's hard to, yeah, detect that kind of thing, but I imagine it happens a lot and Alice just pointed it out there. 01:00:10.274 --> 01:00:11.275 Right, right, that's a good one. 01:00:11.575 --> 01:00:12.375 Yep, good stuff. 01:00:12.775 --> 01:00:15.096 Here is one from Holly in Leamington. 01:00:15.496 --> 01:00:19.078 The best one I've heard is the slash slash kids, i.e. 01:00:19.138 --> 01:00:21.179 designer slash model slash DJ. 01:00:21.499 --> 01:00:28.782 It's someone who can't be pinned down to one career, particularly a 20-something who isn't great at any one thing, so becomes average at many things. 01:00:29.402 --> 01:00:29.963 Right, right. 01:00:30.304 --> 01:00:30.824 I was good. 01:00:30.864 --> 01:00:32.066 I would put myself in that cat. 01:00:32.086 --> 01:00:40.776 Yeah, we're slash slashers dilettantes Yeah, Jack of all trades, but masters of none masters of niche Here is one from mmm. 01:00:40.876 --> 01:00:41.637 I don't know. 01:00:42.378 --> 01:00:44.541 No, I'll just read it and see if the names in there 01:00:44.841 --> 01:00:46.182 You haven't read these, have you? 01:00:46.382 --> 01:00:47.663 Yeah, but I forgot. 01:00:48.203 --> 01:00:57.330 Suggested name for text the nation are Chloe, an upper-middle-class student-y type whose entire life consists of sitting around in coffee shops attempting to appear bohemian. 01:00:57.810 --> 01:01:04.415 Suggested products to sell to them, beret, silk scarf, fancy wellingtons for the all-important festival season. 01:01:04.435 --> 01:01:06.316 Are people wearing berets in silk scarves now? 01:01:07.057 --> 01:01:23.935 Yeah, I mean that's an insane thing to do is it do you think well actually I say that but I saw someone dressed almost exactly like Molly Ringwald yesterday You know the way Molly Ringwald used to dress in the Breakfast Club and pretty in pink 16 candles and things like that ie Adorable and lovable and very individual. 01:01:24.055 --> 01:01:28.640 Yes, you know what I mean in a coin in in a really nice way that have exactly 01:01:28.780 --> 01:01:29.821 Yeah, flowery dress. 01:01:29.841 --> 01:01:30.761 Well, that's good news then. 01:01:31.301 --> 01:01:36.203 You know, and I thought, hallelujah, if that part of the 80s is coming back, then I'm glad. 01:01:36.383 --> 01:01:36.604 Yes. 01:01:36.964 --> 01:01:38.664 OK, here's one from Robin Birmingham. 01:01:39.485 --> 01:01:40.065 A Dean. 01:01:40.625 --> 01:01:44.167 Dean's hobbies are stellar, internet pornography and fighting. 01:01:44.647 --> 01:01:47.749 He has read one book, Bravo 2 Zero by Andy McNabb. 01:01:48.169 --> 01:01:54.592 He doesn't vote, but would vote for Clarkson if he were a politician because he says what everyone's thinking when he writes for the news of the world. 01:01:55.772 --> 01:01:56.152 Right. 01:01:56.492 --> 01:02:00.234 Dean thinks that domestic violence is OK in some circumstances. 01:02:00.254 --> 01:02:01.555 That's a bit extreme, isn't it? 01:02:01.795 --> 01:02:06.037 I was thinking it was a fairly... Not our opinion or the opinion of the BBC. 01:02:06.217 --> 01:02:08.338 It's not even the opinion of Robin Birmingham. 01:02:08.738 --> 01:02:14.181 It's the opinion of a made up character called Dean that advertisers might use. 01:02:14.621 --> 01:02:18.703 It's important to contextualise that statement. 01:02:18.743 --> 01:02:21.645 If they're advertising something that has something to do with domestic violence, 01:02:22.225 --> 01:02:24.106 A slight shade. 01:02:24.126 --> 01:02:28.148 So what kind of person do you think would find domestic violence acceptable? 01:02:28.469 --> 01:02:29.769 I think you're talking about a Dean there. 01:02:30.550 --> 01:02:32.451 I think that's a bit extreme, though, for a Dean. 01:02:32.511 --> 01:02:36.373 Like, you don't instantly have to think... I think we should move away from Dean. 01:02:36.613 --> 01:02:36.873 Yeah. 01:02:36.933 --> 01:02:38.554 Let's get away from Dean as quickly as we can. 01:02:39.015 --> 01:02:40.736 And here's one from Paddy in Exeter. 01:02:41.816 --> 01:02:48.120 For this week's Text the Nation, I thought advertising agencies ought to have a demographic for slightly older men and they ought to call him Brian. 01:02:48.800 --> 01:02:54.982 Brian is a well-dressed man, apart from his odd socks, in his sixties or seventies and is a kindly grandfather. 01:02:55.362 --> 01:03:03.184 He collects toy soldiers and is very excited by the History Channel and the little adverts in the Sunday Telegraph supplement which offer innovative gardening trousers. 01:03:03.724 --> 01:03:13.107 He is a tough nut to crack in terms of selling a product, especially if it's one more aimed towards the youth market, but when a successful sale is made, both parties will be nothing short of delighted. 01:03:13.687 --> 01:03:15.028 I like that last sentence. 01:03:15.308 --> 01:03:16.649 It doesn't have anything to do with anything. 01:03:18.270 --> 01:03:21.071 It's just describing the sale that will be made. 01:03:21.932 --> 01:03:22.732 Who's that from? 01:03:23.132 --> 01:03:24.073 Paddy in Exeter. 01:03:24.633 --> 01:03:25.213 Thank you very much. 01:03:25.233 --> 01:03:25.774 Patrick Johnson. 01:03:25.914 --> 01:03:26.594 That's very good. 01:03:26.654 --> 01:03:29.175 For all your texts and emails for Text the Nation today. 01:03:29.636 --> 01:03:30.916 We're not concluding it just yet. 01:03:30.956 --> 01:03:34.718 We might have a few more before the end of the show, but we're going to play a little bit more music right now. 01:03:34.859 --> 01:03:37.220 And this is Ray Charles with Shaker Tail. 01:03:39.423 --> 01:03:44.681 It's time for song wars, the war of the songs, a couple of- 01:03:53.838 --> 01:03:59.484 That's right, it's Song Wars results time listeners. 01:03:59.684 --> 01:04:08.472 Of course, last week's Song Wars, of course, he says, as if everyone would know, was themed on The Apprentice, the exciting reality programme on the telly. 01:04:08.552 --> 01:04:09.353 I missed it this week. 01:04:09.653 --> 01:04:10.474 I wasn't able to see it. 01:04:10.494 --> 01:04:11.175 Yeah, was it a good one? 01:04:11.195 --> 01:04:12.135 It was a very good one. 01:04:12.236 --> 01:04:13.817 Yes, they had to rebrand Margate. 01:04:15.138 --> 01:04:17.800 And one team made it a family destination. 01:04:18.300 --> 01:04:19.982 The other team went for the pink pound. 01:04:20.902 --> 01:04:28.828 And the pink pound team lost because their posters were very poor and they did a leaflet and they didn't even finish it. 01:04:28.848 --> 01:04:30.309 They left it blank. 01:04:30.769 --> 01:04:37.234 And then the woman with the face like a plate said, oh, we've left it blank so that local businesses can advertise there. 01:04:37.894 --> 01:04:41.997 And Sir Alan did not like that bear, that plate-faced lying. 01:04:43.658 --> 01:04:46.980 Now, the other week we were saying it's wrong to be rude about people's faces. 01:04:47.461 --> 01:04:51.203 And there, you might have just noticed, I just described her having a face like a plate. 01:04:51.223 --> 01:04:53.505 Well, I assumed you were talking about a beautiful spode plate. 01:04:53.585 --> 01:04:54.425 Exactly. 01:04:55.146 --> 01:04:55.746 Exactly. 01:04:55.826 --> 01:04:56.687 I wasn't being rude. 01:04:56.747 --> 01:04:57.968 A wonderful bit of china. 01:04:58.028 --> 01:04:59.429 I love platey faces. 01:04:59.469 --> 01:05:02.711 Yeah, a beautiful, like her complexion is like bone china. 01:05:02.731 --> 01:05:03.131 Exactly. 01:05:03.171 --> 01:05:03.891 That's what I meant. 01:05:04.152 --> 01:05:05.453 I wasn't being disparaging. 01:05:05.473 --> 01:05:07.614 Anyway, it was a good episode, and you're silly to have missed it. 01:05:08.154 --> 01:05:10.956 And just to remind you, if you didn't hear last week's show, you didn't hear the songs. 01:05:11.236 --> 01:05:18.161 My song was kind of a goofy overview of the whole apprentice experience from the point of view of various morons. 01:05:18.381 --> 01:05:24.446 And Joe's was very specifically about Margaret Mountford and her hair, which he described as being like a cloud. 01:05:24.766 --> 01:05:29.649 And I was convinced, I mean, it was a beautiful piece of work musically and in every other way as well. 01:05:29.729 --> 01:05:32.912 I was convinced that it would be used on The Apprentice You're Fired. 01:05:32.972 --> 01:05:36.214 And I was absolutely sure that someone would get in touch with the show from that program. 01:05:36.474 --> 01:05:40.076 Any word from, no, not a peek, not a squeak. 01:05:40.757 --> 01:05:45.119 Not a single person from the apprentice universe is conscious of what we've done. 01:05:45.159 --> 01:05:49.562 I mean, maybe it's a little bit haughty to think that they would care, presumptuous. 01:05:50.042 --> 01:05:56.966 I just thought the only reason I thought maybe it might happen is because in the past Stephen Fry has got in touch with the show when we've done... He's just a bit more in touch. 01:05:57.407 --> 01:05:59.388 We're just a tiny little shack. 01:06:00.028 --> 01:06:02.110 on the side of the big British castle. 01:06:02.130 --> 01:06:04.512 They can't hear us up in the main tower. 01:06:04.692 --> 01:06:05.232 Obviously. 01:06:05.793 --> 01:06:07.174 I feel very disappointed. 01:06:07.194 --> 01:06:09.996 Here are some emails we received in response to the songs. 01:06:10.416 --> 01:06:12.618 Jeff Riley said, I like Joe's song this week. 01:06:12.678 --> 01:06:14.779 It really reminded me of Sufjan Stevens. 01:06:14.819 --> 01:06:15.820 That's a big compliment. 01:06:16.601 --> 01:06:17.501 Matthew Cloth. 01:06:19.383 --> 01:06:21.865 said, dear Adam and Jo, I would like to vote for Adam this week. 01:06:21.945 --> 01:06:23.806 Jo's song was very good after I heard it. 01:06:23.846 --> 01:06:29.371 I didn't think that Buckles was going to be able to overcome it, but it's Team Velocimax for the win in my book. 01:06:29.911 --> 01:06:37.578 Cormac Lawler says, James has given me this email and they're all pro me, which is a bit misleading. 01:06:38.618 --> 01:06:43.360 This guy says, by the way, if it's any consolation to Adam, I don't think there's any musical gulf between you. 01:06:43.680 --> 01:06:46.141 You simply both have different ways of approaching the subject. 01:06:46.241 --> 01:06:52.564 Yeah, I know that sounds straight out of a self-help book, but I love these differences and I always love both of your songs. 01:06:52.744 --> 01:06:53.184 Oh, that's nice. 01:06:53.224 --> 01:06:55.105 James has given us a nice selection of emails. 01:06:55.325 --> 01:06:55.765 He has. 01:06:55.965 --> 01:06:57.726 And I've got no clue which way it's going to go. 01:06:57.746 --> 01:07:00.387 You know, I was convinced that I was going to get soundly thrashed. 01:07:00.587 --> 01:07:05.869 No, I've got a pretty strong clue of which way it's going because we get sent all the emails and I added them up. 01:07:06.269 --> 01:07:07.130 Did you? 01:07:07.491 --> 01:07:11.797 I didn't add them up but I definitely kept a little mental note going, oh damn, oh damn. 01:07:12.335 --> 01:07:13.216 So I think you've taken it. 01:07:13.416 --> 01:07:13.876 You reckon. 01:07:13.976 --> 01:07:14.717 Here's the special. 01:07:14.777 --> 01:07:15.477 Not by very much. 01:07:15.577 --> 01:07:17.639 I predict it's going to be quite close. 01:07:18.239 --> 01:07:19.620 Maybe a 60-40. 01:07:20.280 --> 01:07:26.124 It is 76 votes for Joe's Margaret Mountford song. 01:07:26.444 --> 01:07:28.326 146 votes for Adam's Velocimax song. 01:07:28.346 --> 01:07:29.406 What's that as a percentage? 01:07:29.506 --> 01:07:31.968 That's 34% plays 66%. 01:07:32.709 --> 01:07:34.030 That's a resounding victory. 01:07:34.050 --> 01:07:36.171 I must say I'm surprised by that. 01:07:36.331 --> 01:07:39.952 I mean... Well, I think, you know, the funnies, I just didn't make it funny. 01:07:39.972 --> 01:07:43.073 And people love to laugh, especially in these tough times. 01:07:43.153 --> 01:07:43.693 The two, don't they? 01:07:43.893 --> 01:07:45.174 And times are very tough. 01:07:45.254 --> 01:07:48.395 But yours has been going round my head all week, I'm not joking. 01:07:49.655 --> 01:07:51.136 Well, that's nice of you. 01:07:51.916 --> 01:07:54.157 But clear it from your head, because this is the winner. 01:07:54.177 --> 01:07:54.737 What's it called? 01:07:54.757 --> 01:07:56.397 This is just called The Apprentice. 01:07:56.798 --> 01:07:57.918 Yeah, come on, be proud. 01:07:58.058 --> 01:07:58.538 I am proud. 01:07:58.558 --> 01:08:04.000 This is The Apprentice by Adam Buxton, from the point of view of Ken Corda, my character Ken Corda, and various other prats. 01:08:08.645 --> 01:08:28.370 I'm going to be the next apprentice I'm the best man for the job Although I'm vain and self-deluded And I'm quite a massive knob Sir Alan, please believe me I'm a business typhoon I could sell ice cubes to the Eskimos And deck chairs on the road 01:08:30.194 --> 01:08:31.215 Think you're a good team, lady? 01:08:31.235 --> 01:08:32.237 I can't believe you'd ask. 01:08:32.437 --> 01:08:34.399 Team Velocimax did great on this task. 01:08:34.439 --> 01:08:36.962 Yeah, we made no money and we fought all the time. 01:08:37.243 --> 01:08:39.685 And I refuse to listen, but is that a flipping crime? 01:08:39.705 --> 01:08:40.546 You should be fine, man. 01:08:40.566 --> 01:08:41.067 You should be fine. 01:08:41.087 --> 01:08:42.289 You should buy the boring one. 01:08:42.409 --> 01:08:45.072 He doesn't seem to realize that it's a TV show. 01:08:45.092 --> 01:08:48.396 You gotta act like a total utter brat otherwise, you know. 01:08:48.476 --> 01:08:48.896 You're fine. 01:08:49.577 --> 01:09:17.904 Thank goodness you got rid of him Cause I'm the one who's best Although I'm bitchy and insufferable And thick like all the rest But I've got management experience from my time in burger shops And I really love to delegate and think outside the box You're fired, you're fired For your task this week you must rebrand some vegetables And then convince a load of kiddies that the vegetables 01:09:18.024 --> 01:09:29.456 The vegetables are cool and then the team that sells the most amount of veggies gets the prize of doing something that's more dull than you could ever realize. 01:09:29.476 --> 01:09:32.379 I was the project manager. 01:09:32.600 --> 01:09:34.622 We tried hard at the test. 01:09:35.262 --> 01:09:39.387 Although we didn't sell a thing, I think we were the best. 01:09:39.747 --> 01:09:40.287 You're fired. 01:09:40.407 --> 01:09:40.667 You're fired. 01:09:40.707 --> 01:09:42.868 Stupid moron, she's a stupid moron. 01:09:43.088 --> 01:09:45.349 I'm going to win, cause I am a genius. 01:09:45.389 --> 01:09:47.970 For goodness sake, Sir Allen, don't deploy a moron. 01:09:48.010 --> 01:09:50.211 Take a look at me, get back to the house. 01:09:50.311 --> 01:09:52.392 I'm going to be the next apprentice. 01:09:52.592 --> 01:09:57.494 I'm the best one for the job, although I'm vain and self-deluded. 01:09:57.614 --> 01:09:59.534 And I'm quite a massive knob. 01:09:59.574 --> 01:09:59.975 You're fired. 01:09:59.995 --> 01:10:02.496 I'm going to be the next apprentice. 01:10:02.696 --> 01:10:07.617 I'm the best one for the job, although I'm vain and self-deluded. 01:10:07.757 --> 01:10:08.898 And I am... 01:10:09.501 --> 01:10:11.354 Quite a massive knob! 01:10:11.883 --> 01:10:12.383 You're fired. 01:10:12.523 --> 01:10:12.983 You're fired. 01:10:13.463 --> 01:10:13.983 Very good. 01:10:14.143 --> 01:10:15.304 Thank you very much indeed. 01:10:15.404 --> 01:10:19.385 Thank you very much indeed to everyone who voted for Song Wars this time. 01:10:19.625 --> 01:10:21.605 What are we going to do next time for Song Wars, Joe? 01:10:21.705 --> 01:10:22.025 Nothing. 01:10:22.445 --> 01:10:26.306 Well, not next week, but maybe the week after, though, we've got to come up with something. 01:10:26.466 --> 01:10:31.747 If you can think of a theme for the for our next Song Wars, please do email us and suggest it. 01:10:31.867 --> 01:10:34.788 AdamandJoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 01:10:35.128 --> 01:10:41.389 And if you are in any way connected with The Apprentice, get on the case with Margaret Mountford, the Margaret Mountford song. 01:10:42.430 --> 01:10:42.830 You think? 01:10:43.030 --> 01:10:44.071 I definitely think. 01:10:44.612 --> 01:10:48.855 We don't want to force it or make them do it out of a sense of, you know, corporate loyalty. 01:10:48.875 --> 01:10:49.296 I think we do. 01:10:49.596 --> 01:10:50.117 I think we do. 01:10:50.137 --> 01:10:50.457 Do we? 01:10:50.557 --> 01:10:54.941 I think if they want to mess with the songs then they should do it organically. 01:10:55.421 --> 01:10:58.444 No disrespect to the show and this is not damning with faint praise. 01:10:58.464 --> 01:11:00.546 And when you say the show you're talking about You're Fired. 01:11:00.586 --> 01:11:02.768 I'm talking about The Apprentice You're Fired presented by Adrian Charles. 01:11:03.208 --> 01:11:08.413 They have little humorous montages and edits on there but nothing as funny as your Margaret Mountford song. 01:11:08.692 --> 01:11:10.874 Well, they've got enough to talk about, I think. 01:11:10.934 --> 01:11:11.795 I'm trying to be nice to you. 01:11:11.975 --> 01:11:16.459 You're doing very well, but you're, you know, I'm a bit embarrassed by the praise. 01:11:16.479 --> 01:11:17.940 I don't have to respond. 01:11:18.460 --> 01:11:19.541 You're pushing me away. 01:11:19.581 --> 01:11:20.442 Yeah, I'm pushing you away. 01:11:20.482 --> 01:11:21.343 I'm trying to lick your face. 01:11:21.363 --> 01:11:23.465 I don't want your gigantic fake breasts. 01:11:24.185 --> 01:11:26.587 I'm trying to lick your face and you're pushing me away. 01:11:27.588 --> 01:11:29.530 Here is the new one from Kasabian right now. 01:11:29.550 --> 01:11:30.571 This is fire. 01:11:31.368 --> 01:11:32.569 Sabian with Fire. 01:11:32.589 --> 01:11:35.011 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music. 01:11:35.731 --> 01:11:38.794 Now, Jo, I went to a quiz night last weekend in a pub. 01:11:39.114 --> 01:11:39.554 No, no, no. 01:11:39.614 --> 01:11:44.258 It was organized as a birthday celebration for a friend of mine and my wife's. 01:11:44.958 --> 01:11:53.925 And her husband and her had got together and concocted this big elaborate quiz and they'd put tables out in their house and there was a little gazebo. 01:11:53.945 --> 01:11:55.206 It was really a lovely evening. 01:11:56.226 --> 01:11:57.828 But I'm not very good at those quiz things. 01:11:57.848 --> 01:11:58.668 Do you go to quiz nights? 01:11:59.128 --> 01:12:00.630 No, not for a while. 01:12:01.110 --> 01:12:02.991 I was put off the experience years ago. 01:12:03.011 --> 01:12:04.212 Did you come to this quiz? 01:12:04.232 --> 01:12:07.995 I wonder with a little name drop here, Jonathan Ross and Jane Goldman. 01:12:08.275 --> 01:12:11.477 And they took us along to this quiz that was hosted by Jeremy Beadle. 01:12:12.258 --> 01:12:17.701 God rest his soul when he was around and he was an absolute, he had an encyclopedic brain. 01:12:17.762 --> 01:12:21.844 He's a real brainiac Beadle and he knew all kinds of facts and figures about all sorts of things. 01:12:22.925 --> 01:12:28.609 And the quiz that he hosted was the most ludicrously difficult thing I've ever heard in my life. 01:12:28.649 --> 01:12:30.130 I didn't get a single answer. 01:12:30.150 --> 01:12:31.471 It's the same with pop quizzes. 01:12:31.511 --> 01:12:32.392 They're very, very hard. 01:12:32.412 --> 01:12:33.213 They are really hard. 01:12:33.253 --> 01:12:38.176 The one I've won on a couple of occasions, there's a big charity film industry quiz. 01:12:38.256 --> 01:12:38.476 Oh, yeah. 01:12:38.977 --> 01:12:39.337 I've won that. 01:12:39.517 --> 01:13:04.680 in the past you've won it yeah what your team has won yeah yeah and you've been able to get lots of because they're all film based questions yeah yeah that's a bit better if it was all themed a bit more pop quizzes tend to be very difficult historical questions read the real minutiae check out some of these questions from the quiz which state was created by the signing of the lateran treaty in 1929 the 51st state starring Samuel L Jackson 01:13:05.180 --> 01:13:06.241 That's correct, that's the right answer. 01:13:06.621 --> 01:13:08.762 The Vatican, that was the answer to. 01:13:09.122 --> 01:13:11.704 What is the name for the horizontal movement of air? 01:13:12.744 --> 01:13:14.725 Slipstream, starring Mark Hamill. 01:13:17.987 --> 01:13:18.707 Advection. 01:13:19.188 --> 01:13:19.648 Oh, nearly. 01:13:19.908 --> 01:13:22.569 Name all seven of the Von Trapp family children. 01:13:23.110 --> 01:13:31.714 Oh, Curly, Titty, because I might sound silly that name, but they used to use it a lot in the 20s. 01:13:34.396 --> 01:13:39.340 Little Runjans, Rowland, Tick, Nelly and Sid. 01:13:39.681 --> 01:13:40.261 There's one more. 01:13:41.182 --> 01:13:41.402 Ben. 01:13:41.842 --> 01:13:42.523 That's correct. 01:13:43.103 --> 01:13:43.904 Do you want the real one? 01:13:44.465 --> 01:13:49.008 Liesl, Friedrich, Louisa, Kurt, Brigitte, Marta and Gretel. 01:13:49.249 --> 01:13:49.869 There you go. 01:13:50.590 --> 01:13:53.852 Little Runjans I think they were playing with for a while. 01:13:53.872 --> 01:13:55.514 That seems like a comparatively easy one. 01:13:55.934 --> 01:13:56.794 Yeah, I guess. 01:13:56.934 --> 01:13:58.095 For the ladies, maybe. 01:13:58.615 --> 01:13:59.515 Yeah, for movie fans. 01:13:59.535 --> 01:13:59.855 Oh, nothing. 01:13:59.875 --> 01:14:00.815 It was humiliating. 01:14:00.855 --> 01:14:01.135 Really? 01:14:01.155 --> 01:14:01.955 Were you on a team? 01:14:02.215 --> 01:14:02.876 I was on a team. 01:14:02.896 --> 01:14:05.736 We didn't do too badly the team, but no thanks to me, I'm afraid. 01:14:06.496 --> 01:14:09.997 Here's a little free play from me now, just before we go into the news. 01:14:10.337 --> 01:14:14.398 This is Tigger or Tiger, a Canadian electro DJ Ponce. 01:14:14.778 --> 01:14:16.458 And this is a song about shoes, Joe. 01:14:16.478 --> 01:14:17.058 Shoes. 01:14:17.299 --> 01:14:18.279 Check this out. 01:14:18.439 --> 01:14:19.619 It's ludicrous and enjoyable. 01:14:19.639 --> 01:14:20.319 I like it. 01:14:20.339 --> 01:14:21.519 Hit me with it in the face. 01:14:22.700 --> 01:14:24.200 DJ Tiger. 01:14:24.660 --> 01:14:26.002 I would say Tiger not Tigger. 01:14:26.062 --> 01:14:27.083 I would say Tigger. 01:14:27.143 --> 01:14:29.005 Tigger with shoes. 01:14:29.765 --> 01:14:32.528 Great video for that as well that we played at Bug this week at the BFI. 01:14:32.548 --> 01:14:37.453 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC 6 Music and it's just gone 11.30 time for the 01:14:39.051 --> 01:14:40.212 R.E.M., the one I love. 01:14:40.232 --> 01:14:42.313 This is Adam and Joe here on 6 Music. 01:14:42.553 --> 01:14:44.153 How often are you washing your hair, Joe? 01:14:44.514 --> 01:14:49.036 Well, I was interested to read that Prince, which one is the ginger one? 01:14:49.716 --> 01:14:50.576 Not William. 01:14:51.117 --> 01:14:51.477 Harry. 01:14:51.677 --> 01:14:52.037 Oh, right. 01:14:52.177 --> 01:14:52.937 Prince Harry. 01:14:52.997 --> 01:14:53.518 Ginger Prince. 01:14:53.678 --> 01:14:55.679 I read in the paper, he doesn't wash his hair. 01:14:55.799 --> 01:14:56.139 Does he not? 01:14:56.799 --> 01:15:01.401 He is of the School of Hair, washing what doesn't wash their hair at all. 01:15:01.561 --> 01:15:02.241 That's right. 01:15:02.382 --> 01:15:07.024 And apparently if you don't wash your hair for long enough, and this is something that used to go around when we were students. 01:15:07.044 --> 01:15:07.244 Yeah. 01:15:08.044 --> 01:15:10.707 If you don't wash your hair, nature takes control. 01:15:10.967 --> 01:15:13.890 After about six months, a kind of oily balm. 01:15:13.930 --> 01:15:14.450 Six months? 01:15:14.610 --> 01:15:15.691 Yeah, as long as that. 01:15:15.751 --> 01:15:16.232 Maybe not. 01:15:16.312 --> 01:15:17.533 Maybe it's six days or something. 01:15:17.713 --> 01:15:27.542 It's like, you know, people who say you shouldn't use moisturiser or anything, that the skin can take care of itself, but you just get it used to these weird creams and unctions, and then you make it dependent on it. 01:15:28.143 --> 01:15:31.165 And if you just stop washing, you'll go through a weird period, but then 01:15:31.846 --> 01:15:37.253 I don't mean like washing completely because I don't think this counts in the, you know, the basement areas. 01:15:37.613 --> 01:15:37.833 Right. 01:15:38.114 --> 01:15:43.841 But if you stop washing the the roof garden, then not the spot notch. 01:15:44.562 --> 01:15:45.703 No, not your spot notch. 01:15:45.723 --> 01:15:47.005 That has to be kept very clean. 01:15:47.766 --> 01:15:48.847 I think I've made my point. 01:15:49.147 --> 01:15:50.369 Yeah, keep the roof garden clean. 01:15:50.609 --> 01:15:50.869 Yeah. 01:15:51.510 --> 01:15:54.553 Um, I mean, it's, I think all those things are probably true. 01:15:54.613 --> 01:15:59.258 Maybe they would have been true if we were still living in jungles and stuff like that. 01:15:59.298 --> 01:15:59.718 You know what I mean? 01:15:59.759 --> 01:16:11.651 But when you're living in the city and you know, sometimes you get back because of extra pollution, you get, you know, if you cycle for half an hour and you just wipe a tissue across your forehead, it's black. 01:16:13.032 --> 01:16:35.723 yeah no absolutely not he's got a car he's got a helicopter a chopper an absolute chopper he's got a wicked chopper um i'm because i'm experimenting with not washing my hair right yeah because i usually i used to until a few months ago i would wash my hair every day sometimes twice a day and that's very bad for your hair 01:16:36.303 --> 01:16:36.523 right? 01:16:36.983 --> 01:16:46.229 And I would also favor a shampoo that was a two-in-one shampoo and conditioner because they've got some they used to have some terrible chemical in them didn't they? 01:16:46.249 --> 01:16:47.710 Like magnesium or something awful. 01:16:48.330 --> 01:16:49.711 Those sulfuric acids. 01:16:49.811 --> 01:16:51.132 Was it sulfuric acid? 01:16:51.172 --> 01:16:51.312 Yeah. 01:16:51.592 --> 01:16:52.233 Alien blood. 01:16:52.633 --> 01:17:00.958 Alien blood but they do say the two-in-ones are very damaging in the same way that some people say if they see you drinking like a diet soda they'll say oh 01:17:01.258 --> 01:17:01.998 Oh, they're deadly. 01:17:02.198 --> 01:17:03.539 You'll get cancer immediately. 01:17:03.559 --> 01:17:05.219 They're the most carcinogenic drinks you can buy. 01:17:05.239 --> 01:17:05.999 I agree with that. 01:17:06.059 --> 01:17:06.719 I buy that one. 01:17:08.460 --> 01:17:13.161 So I'm experimenting with the notion of not washing my hair for a few days. 01:17:13.601 --> 01:17:18.382 And I found the thing is that if I've got something special coming up, like with the Sony's, right? 01:17:18.522 --> 01:17:21.863 I thought, if we win something, we might get photographed. 01:17:22.203 --> 01:17:25.684 So two days before, I washed my hair for the last time. 01:17:25.964 --> 01:17:29.845 And then I know that two days thence, my hair will be manageable. 01:17:30.705 --> 01:17:33.666 and we'll do what I want it to do. 01:17:34.166 --> 01:17:35.107 It's working quite well. 01:17:35.407 --> 01:17:35.867 What do you think? 01:17:35.907 --> 01:17:39.788 I think you should do one of those adverts like what Davina McCool does. 01:17:39.808 --> 01:17:40.629 That's true, I should. 01:17:40.649 --> 01:17:46.111 The one where she goes, you voted Chestnut Brown, the nation's favourite hair colour. 01:17:46.691 --> 01:17:49.072 I knew you would, because it's mine too. 01:17:49.292 --> 01:17:50.372 Did you take part in that vote? 01:17:50.392 --> 01:17:50.913 I know I did. 01:17:51.033 --> 01:17:51.353 Did you? 01:17:51.373 --> 01:17:52.013 Of course I did. 01:17:52.333 --> 01:17:53.773 Well, yeah, who wouldn't? 01:17:53.853 --> 01:17:55.354 It's a very important national vote. 01:17:55.514 --> 01:17:56.314 Yeah. 01:17:56.994 --> 01:17:58.234 Yeah, but you should do that advert. 01:17:58.334 --> 01:17:58.854 I would love to. 01:17:58.934 --> 01:18:02.295 You could toss your mane and wrinkle your nose. 01:18:02.535 --> 01:18:05.736 But the thing I don't understand about those is how often is she washing with that? 01:18:05.756 --> 01:18:06.576 Whenever they'll pay her. 01:18:06.776 --> 01:18:07.036 Yeah. 01:18:07.156 --> 01:18:08.136 She'll do whatever they want. 01:18:08.696 --> 01:18:14.018 I find it very difficult to to suss out exactly when I should be shampooing and when I should leave it for a while. 01:18:14.098 --> 01:18:15.818 And I thought you're going to leave it constantly now. 01:18:16.318 --> 01:18:17.999 It constantly just seems a bit extreme. 01:18:18.020 --> 01:18:19.661 I don't want to look like the bloke from Shameless. 01:18:20.181 --> 01:18:20.702 You know what I mean? 01:18:20.902 --> 01:18:21.882 I don't want to look like just a tramp. 01:18:21.902 --> 01:18:22.423 Well, keep going. 01:18:22.643 --> 01:18:23.824 We'll check in every week. 01:18:23.964 --> 01:18:28.908 I think you should keep it unwashed until next week and we'll... The other thing is it gets very itchy. 01:18:29.168 --> 01:18:34.472 I don't understand if you're a non-hair washer, are you supposed to rinse it through water? 01:18:34.992 --> 01:18:41.537 Nature provides you with armies of knits that live in your hair and eat all the bits of stuff that get in it. 01:18:41.657 --> 01:18:42.298 Mother Nature. 01:18:42.318 --> 01:18:43.679 Mother Nature's Knit Squad. 01:18:46.781 --> 01:18:49.202 They get all the crusty bits and eat them up. 01:18:50.122 --> 01:18:52.344 It's healthy man and they go to sleep in your ears. 01:18:52.564 --> 01:18:54.125 And then you can have them as a snack. 01:18:54.565 --> 01:18:55.525 Do get itchy now and then. 01:18:56.866 --> 01:18:57.907 But they're perfectly natural. 01:19:04.656 --> 01:19:06.437 That was Phoenix with Listermania. 01:19:06.918 --> 01:19:10.561 Joe found some interesting hair facts, actually, just while we were listening to that song. 01:19:10.721 --> 01:19:13.643 Well, a kindly listener sent through a link. 01:19:13.743 --> 01:19:15.424 Let me try and credit that listener. 01:19:15.665 --> 01:19:20.028 Basically, they say... I think it says on Wikipedia... Chris Britchard, his name is... 01:19:21.329 --> 01:19:24.271 And yeah, he's saying, step one, lose the shampoo and conditioner. 01:19:24.871 --> 01:19:29.074 Yeah, shampoo strips your hair of the oils, which prevent build-up of dirt, making your hair dry. 01:19:29.415 --> 01:19:33.257 When your hair tries to restore these oils, it overcompensates, makes your hair greasy. 01:19:33.357 --> 01:19:33.637 Right. 01:19:33.817 --> 01:19:35.178 So you stop washing. 01:19:35.579 --> 01:19:36.099 For how long? 01:19:36.519 --> 01:19:37.240 Six weeks. 01:19:37.680 --> 01:19:40.322 It takes for the natural balance of oils to be fully restored. 01:19:40.342 --> 01:19:42.263 You're going to look rank though in those six weeks, aren't you? 01:19:42.283 --> 01:19:45.205 The worst rankness will occur during weeks three and four. 01:19:45.625 --> 01:19:48.667 Rinse your hair thoroughly using hot, not scalding water. 01:19:49.888 --> 01:19:56.472 then cold water to make it smooth and shiny, brush your hair regularly with a scalp massage brush twice a day. 01:19:56.892 --> 01:19:57.913 Don't be self-conscious. 01:19:58.313 --> 01:20:01.275 As long as you rinse and brush your hair properly, it won't smell or look dirty. 01:20:01.575 --> 01:20:02.796 People won't notice any difference. 01:20:02.876 --> 01:20:05.217 And you can just use the excess grease for cooking and stuff. 01:20:05.597 --> 01:20:06.198 Delicious. 01:20:06.498 --> 01:20:06.998 Absolutely. 01:20:07.078 --> 01:20:11.881 If your hair becomes really greasy during the rebalancing, that's what it's called, rebalancing. 01:20:11.921 --> 01:20:16.163 It's like a sort of a kind of Scientology screening process. 01:20:16.343 --> 01:20:18.465 Are you going through rebalancing at the moment? 01:20:19.065 --> 01:20:19.625 Yes, I am. 01:20:19.685 --> 01:20:20.266 Have you noticed? 01:20:20.346 --> 01:20:22.487 The grease is literally dripping off my hair. 01:20:22.687 --> 01:20:26.069 You might want to occasionally remove the build-up of grease with vinegar. 01:20:26.670 --> 01:20:27.070 Vinegar? 01:20:27.090 --> 01:20:27.911 That doesn't sound good. 01:20:27.951 --> 01:20:29.472 I mean, that's going to make you a big... It's very good. 01:20:29.492 --> 01:20:32.333 It removes the greasiness without stripping too much of your hair's natural oils. 01:20:32.754 --> 01:20:33.995 Yeah, but you'll stink like a big... 01:20:34.855 --> 01:20:36.177 Disastrous stinky men. 01:20:36.197 --> 01:20:38.941 If people do start to notice, just do a ponytail. 01:20:40.063 --> 01:20:41.184 A ponytail? 01:20:41.244 --> 01:20:43.928 Then the attention will be on your face rather than your hair. 01:20:43.948 --> 01:20:45.531 This is women they're talking about. 01:20:45.851 --> 01:20:46.772 Or certain men. 01:20:47.333 --> 01:20:48.214 So you're gonna go for this? 01:20:48.555 --> 01:20:49.777 Maybe, I'm thinking about it. 01:20:50.066 --> 01:20:53.909 But I don't like the idea of week four with vinegar stink all over me. 01:20:55.010 --> 01:20:56.492 But that's subversive stuff, though, isn't it? 01:20:56.552 --> 01:21:03.898 Because that is undermining the stranglehold of the shampoo industry and conditioner industry. 01:21:04.118 --> 01:21:05.940 And Davina McCall's not going to be happy about anything. 01:21:05.960 --> 01:21:06.000 No. 01:21:06.060 --> 01:21:09.343 Plus, you know, the global economy is in a meltdown. 01:21:09.383 --> 01:21:11.425 We've got to be buying everything we possibly can. 01:21:11.785 --> 01:21:12.065 Sure. 01:21:12.986 --> 01:21:14.227 Oh, it's so tricky, isn't it? 01:21:14.247 --> 01:21:14.968 You've never read that out. 01:21:15.288 --> 01:21:16.309 Listen, here's a free play. 01:21:16.329 --> 01:21:25.956 This is the band Supercar, who a few weeks ago we played their track Recreation and Betrayed Your Trust by telling you they were still recording and then listeners told us they'd split up in 2005. 01:21:26.796 --> 01:21:27.977 But this is a track of theirs from 2001. 01:21:29.098 --> 01:21:31.600 It's just a little nugget of Happy Japanese Electronica. 01:21:32.080 --> 01:21:33.061 It's my favourite little nugget. 01:21:33.221 --> 01:21:44.349 I'm picturing when I play this record listeners who are driving along, maybe on a B road or a motorway and it's quite sunny and the windows are down, you know, and they're going to turn this up and really enjoy it. 01:21:44.949 --> 01:21:45.971 These listeners in my head. 01:21:46.232 --> 01:21:46.573 Excellent. 01:21:46.613 --> 01:21:48.517 I wonder whether they exist in the real world. 01:21:48.537 --> 01:21:48.978 They might do. 01:21:49.259 --> 01:21:52.948 This is Supercar with Yumaguer Last Boy. 01:22:55.145 --> 01:22:55.287 Bye! 01:25:35.896 --> 01:25:35.958 you 01:25:54.793 --> 01:26:07.595 That supercar with Yamagawa Lasterboy, and that's actually from one of the albums, but also featured on the film Ping Pong, which is a very good Japanese film, based on the manga by Taiu Matsumoto. 01:26:08.215 --> 01:26:08.795 Very nice. 01:26:09.275 --> 01:26:11.716 I love things that are based on the manga by Taiu Matsumoto. 01:26:11.756 --> 01:26:13.016 Taiu Matsumoto. 01:26:13.036 --> 01:26:15.196 He did Black and White, Tekkon Kinkreet. 01:26:15.877 --> 01:26:16.717 Ah, yes, yes, yes. 01:26:16.737 --> 01:26:17.937 Come on, get hit to the streets. 01:26:18.097 --> 01:26:18.517 Kinkreet. 01:26:18.917 --> 01:26:20.177 Kinkreet, Tekkon Kinkreet. 01:26:20.357 --> 01:26:21.838 Is that like a special type of concrete? 01:26:21.858 --> 01:26:22.798 It's a film, it's an anime film. 01:26:23.138 --> 01:26:23.438 Oh, got you. 01:26:23.458 --> 01:26:23.978 It's very good. 01:26:24.438 --> 01:26:26.340 Folks, it's nearly the end of our show. 01:26:26.440 --> 01:26:30.724 Don't forget to download the podcast on Monday evening. 01:26:31.425 --> 01:26:36.951 And a few weeks back, I encouraged listeners to our podcast to subscribe to my YouTube channel. 01:26:37.231 --> 01:26:38.052 Oh yeah, what happened? 01:26:38.092 --> 01:26:38.953 They did, man. 01:26:39.093 --> 01:26:39.453 Did they? 01:26:39.513 --> 01:26:44.178 Yeah, because I was almost about to drop out of the top 100 most subscribed. 01:26:44.198 --> 01:26:45.299 How humiliating. 01:26:45.319 --> 01:26:46.080 Very humiliating. 01:26:46.821 --> 01:26:52.968 And they helped me nudge my way back up to number 90, even though, you know, I still need all the subscribers. 01:26:52.988 --> 01:26:54.470 How many subscribers would you say you've got? 01:26:54.971 --> 01:26:55.772 I've got almost 15,000. 01:26:56.032 --> 01:26:57.514 That's good. 01:26:57.534 --> 01:26:58.055 That's good. 01:26:58.275 --> 01:26:59.276 And it's a great channel. 01:26:59.296 --> 01:27:00.418 It's got lots of fun stuff on it. 01:27:00.478 --> 01:27:03.541 One of the things I... Sounds pathetic, doesn't it? 01:27:04.202 --> 01:27:14.509 One of the things I put up recently was a video of myself in my shed actually listening to the Adam and Jo podcast and sort of laughing in a very self-congratulatory manner while I had a glass of wine. 01:27:14.989 --> 01:27:18.191 Here are some of the comments that people left under the video from YouTube. 01:27:18.211 --> 01:27:21.574 I, you know, both of us very much enjoy going through YouTube comments every now and again. 01:27:22.114 --> 01:27:24.315 Ain Fang says simply, poo poo. 01:27:25.656 --> 01:27:26.777 He was the first comment. 01:27:27.278 --> 01:27:28.739 First person to leave a comment. 01:27:29.159 --> 01:27:29.420 Really? 01:27:29.440 --> 01:27:31.321 Do you think that's a disparaging comment? 01:27:31.401 --> 01:27:31.762 I don't know. 01:27:31.782 --> 01:27:34.484 Or do you think he's sort of just caveman-like behaviour? 01:27:34.524 --> 01:27:38.107 He's just smearing some of his defecate on the wall. 01:27:38.768 --> 01:27:39.308 All one word. 01:27:39.809 --> 01:27:45.994 Boy Mandeville said, I love the thought that Adam's wife and children are just inside living without him during the filming of this. 01:27:46.214 --> 01:27:47.756 Open another bottle, Dr Buckles. 01:27:48.036 --> 01:27:48.897 Smiley emoticon. 01:27:48.917 --> 01:27:50.698 He's encouraging you to abandon your family. 01:27:50.999 --> 01:27:51.159 Yeah. 01:27:51.699 --> 01:28:04.129 Tagerman Bagram says, the way the economy is going, soon we'll all be living in sheds listening to podcasts. 01:28:05.870 --> 01:28:08.853 Donahue says, so that's how Adam lives his life. 01:28:09.093 --> 01:28:18.000 In a grubby house with no power and cheap decor, narcissistically listening to his own material but finds himself getting irate at Joe's jokes because they're better. 01:28:18.160 --> 01:28:18.520 Yes. 01:28:18.700 --> 01:28:23.604 Joe must be making all the money, living in a palace of some sort, leaving Adam with nothing. 01:28:24.684 --> 01:28:25.505 Who's that from? 01:28:25.725 --> 01:28:26.346 Donahoe. 01:28:26.526 --> 01:28:27.626 Yes, Donahoe. 01:28:28.327 --> 01:28:30.608 You know the, you keep it real, you know the truth. 01:28:30.849 --> 01:28:32.490 Creation Guy Sexposed. 01:28:32.630 --> 01:28:33.290 I love that guy. 01:28:33.590 --> 01:28:39.654 Says, Hmm, Adam Buxton was very much part of my formative years with his baby face, silly hat and gerbil grin. 01:28:40.075 --> 01:28:45.698 Now I find he's a bearded man who lives in a Norfolk village and he's married with kids and he owns a shed. 01:28:46.019 --> 01:28:47.480 Something is not right with the world. 01:28:48.200 --> 01:28:49.980 It's disturbing, isn't it, the passage of time. 01:28:50.581 --> 01:28:58.562 Tuk Tuk says, this is an astonishing and disturbing self-portrait of a man consumed by his twin demons of narcissism and jealous rage. 01:28:59.402 --> 01:29:00.203 That's absolutely true. 01:29:02.203 --> 01:29:11.745 Finally, there's a little exchange between someone called CoolStuff2000AD who says very simply, you narcissistic cockle, Buxton. 01:29:12.285 --> 01:29:13.305 Doesn't use the word cockle. 01:29:14.186 --> 01:29:15.066 Slightly shorter version. 01:29:16.307 --> 01:29:25.559 Underneath, someone says, Lucasway Films says, well, if you listen to the Adam and Jo show on BBC Six Music or the podcast, then you'd get the joke. 01:29:25.860 --> 01:29:30.466 And then underneath Cool Stuff 2018 says, yes, sorry, I was trying to sound funny. 01:29:30.807 --> 01:29:33.370 I don't know how to download podcasts or catch them when they 01:29:33.470 --> 01:29:34.911 That's quite touching. 01:29:35.251 --> 01:29:40.193 Listen, thank you very much for listening, listeners, and thank you to everybody who's texted and emailed. 01:29:40.393 --> 01:29:42.474 We will be reading all of your emails. 01:29:42.934 --> 01:29:46.916 Don't forget, the podcast will be up for downloading at about five o'clock on Monday. 01:29:47.596 --> 01:29:51.558 Or you can listen again, even though we understand there might be some problems with the iPlayer, but it's fixed. 01:29:51.598 --> 01:29:52.839 The iPlayer's fixed, so that's all good. 01:29:52.859 --> 01:29:53.959 Stay tuned for Liz Kershaw. 01:29:53.979 --> 01:29:54.519 Have a great week. 01:29:54.559 --> 01:29:59.121 We'll be back with you next time from nine till 12 on Saturday. 01:29:59.162 --> 01:29:59.482 We love you. 01:29:59.502 --> 01:29:59.722 Bye. 01:29:59.842 --> 01:30:00.082 Bye.