WEBVTT 00:03.215 --> 00:09.667 It's time for Adam and Jo to broadcast on the radio There'll be some music and some random talking 00:15.464 --> 00:18.768 Well there we go, that's Zero by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. 00:18.848 --> 00:21.832 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 00:22.253 --> 00:23.434 Very nice to have you along. 00:23.875 --> 00:25.577 Nice to have you along. 00:26.398 --> 00:28.982 Welcome to the smooth sounds of... Oh god. 00:29.983 --> 00:32.366 Well I was thinking that we know Bobby Friction was on just then. 00:32.386 --> 00:33.828 He was very professional, wasn't he? 00:34.088 --> 00:37.511 And he was actually creating friction by jiggling around in his chair. 00:37.551 --> 00:38.992 We were watching him through the glass. 00:39.012 --> 00:41.194 It was like he had some sort of a coffee buzz on. 00:41.254 --> 00:42.816 He was jiggling up and down in his chair. 00:42.836 --> 00:44.337 That's why they call him Mr Friction. 00:44.357 --> 00:46.439 Yeah, creating some static charge. 00:46.719 --> 00:51.723 So I thought that we would be, you know, like the smooth guys. 00:52.644 --> 00:57.248 We've got a name for people who listen to the show this early in the morning, don't we? 00:58.189 --> 01:00.469 Yes, they're called Black Squadron. 01:00.910 --> 01:02.250 They're an elite group. 01:02.390 --> 01:14.912 I was thinking though, good morning Black Squadron members, I was thinking that if one were to say something like that, you know, good morning Black Squadron members, you might start sounding a bit like Noel Edmonds on Deal or No Deal. 01:15.692 --> 01:20.373 When he says, hello West Wing, hello East Wing, you know, he starts naming the studio audience. 01:20.453 --> 01:21.213 Oh, does he? 01:21.273 --> 01:24.214 And it gets quite, I mean, it makes you want to punch Edmonds. 01:25.454 --> 01:29.075 Lots of things have that effect, but that's one of the strongest ones. 01:29.496 --> 01:37.478 Well, as soon as people start talking about little cliques and gangs and things that they're into, and you're not into them yet, you do want to punch them. 01:37.578 --> 01:42.840 So I had another idea that we would change the name of Black Squadron every morning. 01:43.381 --> 01:47.762 You know, like you change a password to a fortress in case the enemy gets it? 01:48.322 --> 01:50.403 Like they do in Harry Potter, the portrait hole. 01:50.523 --> 01:52.164 Yes, the portrait hole! 01:53.024 --> 01:56.586 Portrait hole yeah, do you think that would be good then you would have? 01:57.527 --> 02:11.495 Man, that wouldn't work would it because then if you just listen to one show at the very beginning hmm You'd immediately know the password It would be confusing also the other thing is I've done a jingle for black squadron So I would have to do everything a jingle every week. 02:11.675 --> 02:18.339 Yeah for the newly named squadron so black squadron That's all of you listening now stand to attention. 02:18.599 --> 02:19.500 Here's your jingle 02:24.093 --> 02:43.526 Always catch the beginning of the show Black Squadron don't wanna miss a thing That's not the way Black Squadron rolls Went to bed at a reasonable hour Gotta be sharp on Saturday morning That's the secret of the squadron's power 02:47.099 --> 02:47.760 That's good. 02:47.900 --> 02:48.241 There you go. 02:48.261 --> 02:50.123 That's the Black Squadron jingle. 02:50.644 --> 02:52.186 You are all members of Black Squadron. 02:52.226 --> 02:54.650 Anyone listening to the beginning of the show? 02:54.890 --> 02:57.033 I'm going to command Black Squadron in a second. 02:57.074 --> 02:57.314 Are you? 02:57.374 --> 03:00.559 I'm going to give them a command and they must all follow the command. 03:00.579 --> 03:01.139 Wow. 03:01.540 --> 03:03.463 Black Squadron, eat fruit! 03:05.087 --> 03:06.348 They must all now eat some fruit. 03:06.628 --> 03:07.649 What if they haven't got any fruit? 03:07.749 --> 03:11.031 They have to find some fruit quickly, otherwise they're kicked out of the squadron. 03:11.171 --> 03:11.912 Oh my goodness. 03:11.952 --> 03:16.315 They have to go to their shops, or just if they've... Everyone's got some fruit around, haven't they? 03:16.415 --> 03:19.737 Yeah, but what if they've just got a big bowl of mouldy old fruit? 03:19.777 --> 03:21.558 They have to eat it. 03:21.578 --> 03:23.780 That's the way it goes in Black Squadron. 03:23.840 --> 03:24.560 It's tough, man. 03:24.600 --> 03:25.381 It's a tough unit. 03:25.421 --> 03:26.141 It's an elite unit. 03:26.562 --> 03:29.503 We had a couple of messages from people in the week. 03:30.044 --> 03:34.547 We had a wonderful Black Squadron logo designed for us, which we should get made into badges. 03:35.408 --> 03:58.950 surely surely we should you know like to make it properly like swap shop or something yeah yeah yeah let's have some talks about that that was let's see who is it that created the badges they also want to be invited to the nectar points party right so we're going to talk about that a bit later points party also there's a Facebook page now for black squadron 03:59.611 --> 04:01.012 which was created last Saturday. 04:01.172 --> 04:02.572 It's got five members, Joe. 04:02.832 --> 04:03.693 That's a lot of members. 04:03.733 --> 04:04.353 That's a lot. 04:04.373 --> 04:05.473 That's an elite squadron. 04:05.493 --> 04:08.014 The fewer members there are, the more elite the squadron is. 04:08.034 --> 04:08.735 That's a good thing. 04:09.055 --> 04:11.816 At the very least, that's a family one. 04:12.076 --> 04:19.919 I read that email and I was thinking, you know, what kind of criteria do you need to join the... I mean, anyone could join the Facebook page. 04:20.339 --> 04:23.840 How do they test whether they've actually listened to the first bit of the show? 04:24.421 --> 04:25.381 You wouldn't lie about that. 04:25.401 --> 04:26.202 That kind of thing, would you? 04:26.342 --> 04:27.322 Well, one would hope not. 04:27.342 --> 04:28.383 I mean, that would be grotesque. 04:28.423 --> 04:29.324 It'd be really sordid. 04:29.524 --> 04:36.950 That was Chris informing us about the Facebook page, and I've managed to... Oh, no, it's Michael and Joanne in Enfield, who did the amazing logo. 04:36.990 --> 04:38.311 I think they created the logo. 04:38.351 --> 04:38.731 Good work. 04:38.751 --> 04:39.772 I think I'm right about that. 04:40.252 --> 04:41.593 So, welcome, Black Squadron. 04:41.613 --> 04:47.618 We'll be signing you out at 9.30 just before the news with the special stand-down jingle. 04:47.978 --> 04:50.420 But right now, here's some more music for you. 04:50.460 --> 04:54.183 This is, um, Ben Folds Five with The Battle of Who Could Care Less. 04:55.533 --> 04:58.996 The fruit command has confused quite a lot of Black Squadron. 04:59.657 --> 05:03.240 Some of them don't have any fruit, asking whether a Jaffa Cake will suffice. 05:03.740 --> 05:04.200 Well, yes. 05:04.320 --> 05:05.602 Some are allergic to fruit. 05:06.462 --> 05:08.524 Some are... Yes. 05:08.604 --> 05:10.325 How did you command Black Squadron to eat fruit? 05:10.345 --> 05:14.229 Well, I was thinking what a thing that everyone could probably achieve. 05:14.249 --> 05:14.669 Well, what about... 05:16.058 --> 05:19.399 What, you didn't want to do anything physical in case people were incapacitated or something like that? 05:19.419 --> 05:20.399 I did put some thought into it. 05:20.419 --> 05:22.379 I thought everyone's got a little bowl of fruit. 05:22.399 --> 05:24.039 You can have some fruit. 05:24.059 --> 05:25.080 Well obviously you were wrong. 05:25.380 --> 05:25.940 I was wrong. 05:25.960 --> 05:27.000 I proved completely wrong. 05:27.020 --> 05:28.000 Allergic to fruit. 05:28.120 --> 05:29.320 Does avocado count? 05:29.340 --> 05:31.461 Oh dear. 05:31.681 --> 05:32.181 Avocado? 05:32.201 --> 05:33.701 Well you can have an avocado pear. 05:34.241 --> 05:35.821 So I would say that yes it does count. 05:35.961 --> 05:36.882 I'd say marmalade. 05:37.082 --> 05:37.942 Anything with a fruit. 05:38.142 --> 05:41.342 Listen, we'll make the commands broader and longer in future. 05:41.402 --> 05:44.803 Anything with fruit in it or like a fruit flavour. 05:45.069 --> 05:47.510 It can be stuff like, yeah, we'll think of something else. 05:49.410 --> 05:51.551 It doesn't say much for Black Squadron's power, though. 05:52.151 --> 05:52.671 So far. 05:52.871 --> 05:56.092 So far, Black Squadron had managed to fall at the very first hurdle. 05:56.112 --> 05:57.372 They got very confused with it. 05:57.792 --> 05:59.132 And it wasn't a massive hurdle. 05:59.152 --> 06:00.853 They didn't have time to prepare, though, did they? 06:01.073 --> 06:01.853 I mean, I'm sure we would. 06:01.873 --> 06:04.034 Well, that's what it's about, being in the squadron, isn't it? 06:04.054 --> 06:04.574 It's true. 06:04.594 --> 06:10.075 You don't have like, next week, squadron, just to give you a heads up, there might be a command. 06:10.195 --> 06:10.755 Here's the clue. 06:11.015 --> 06:12.036 It might involve fruit. 06:12.376 --> 06:13.516 So have some fruit around. 06:14.136 --> 06:18.198 Okay, do you think that happens in the SAS when they give an SAS unit a command? 06:18.538 --> 06:19.178 Sorry, I can't. 06:19.198 --> 06:20.579 I'm allergic to fighting. 06:20.639 --> 06:22.239 Well, nowadays, Joe. 06:23.360 --> 06:25.300 Sorry, against health and safety. 06:25.400 --> 06:28.121 Oh, I can't do that, Sergeant. 06:28.602 --> 06:31.123 I've got a bit of a cold today, so I can't. 06:31.183 --> 06:34.384 Sorry, I'd love to help you, but I can't go storming that. 06:35.024 --> 06:36.524 Inplacement, is that what they call it? 06:36.564 --> 06:37.685 Yeah, in emplacement. 06:37.705 --> 06:38.085 Yeah. 06:38.345 --> 06:39.685 I can't stall me in placement. 06:39.745 --> 06:41.005 I'm feeling a bit wheezy. 06:41.245 --> 06:43.666 So I'm going to have to sit this one out. 06:43.906 --> 06:45.486 I'm allergic to guns of never own. 06:47.166 --> 06:48.026 So we can't do it. 06:48.106 --> 06:49.127 You're rolling with a jargon. 06:49.307 --> 06:49.507 Yeah. 06:50.447 --> 06:53.987 I don't want to take the tank across the bridge. 06:54.067 --> 06:55.148 That's good jargon. 06:55.448 --> 06:55.808 Tank. 06:57.648 --> 06:58.708 You've been in the army. 06:58.828 --> 07:00.229 Yes, I drove a tank. 07:00.249 --> 07:01.189 No, it really shows. 07:01.429 --> 07:02.009 I drove a tank. 07:02.569 --> 07:07.475 Um, and, uh, I was, you know, I was driving the tank that Margaret Thatcher went in that time. 07:07.936 --> 07:08.196 Right. 07:08.216 --> 07:08.717 Do you remember? 07:08.737 --> 07:09.257 Yeah. 07:09.297 --> 07:11.660 When she was showing off about tanks and she had that headscarf on. 07:11.680 --> 07:12.822 She was always in a tank. 07:13.122 --> 07:13.763 That was a good old days. 07:13.803 --> 07:16.466 I'm gonna, I'm gonna play some music from the good old days right now. 07:16.486 --> 07:17.407 Do you remember Uberman? 07:17.427 --> 07:17.467 No. 07:18.849 --> 07:19.850 You don't remember Uberman? 07:20.250 --> 07:20.490 No. 07:20.550 --> 07:21.391 From the 90s? 07:21.771 --> 07:22.351 Is it a film? 07:22.851 --> 07:23.732 No, they were a band. 07:23.912 --> 07:24.052 Oh. 07:24.472 --> 07:26.113 And they were big, man. 07:26.173 --> 07:27.314 Really big in the 90s. 07:27.374 --> 07:35.439 And the lead singer, Ron Johns, he slept nearby Justine Frischman one time. 07:35.459 --> 07:36.219 What was he called? 07:36.319 --> 07:36.899 Ron Johns. 07:36.959 --> 07:37.480 Ron Johns. 07:37.500 --> 07:39.381 Was that his real name? 07:39.901 --> 07:40.361 I don't know. 07:40.521 --> 07:48.145 And Pinto, the drummer, he pushed Andy Peters off a ledge and Tanya posed nude for the cover. 07:48.165 --> 07:49.566 Right, because the bass is called Storage. 07:49.866 --> 07:50.486 Exactly. 07:50.787 --> 07:51.847 Now you remember. 07:51.867 --> 07:53.448 Storage, Pinto, Ron Johns. 07:54.369 --> 07:55.449 And Tanya. 07:56.009 --> 07:56.470 Uberman. 07:56.650 --> 08:00.512 She posed nude for now, music, now, now, music, now, now, now, Music Magazine. 08:00.552 --> 08:00.972 This is a great mag. 08:01.532 --> 08:07.955 Anyway, it's a shame that people don't remember them more because they were a good band and I'm going to play a track from Uberman right now. 08:08.555 --> 08:11.056 I don't know if those facts are true, incidentally, stupid listeners. 08:11.157 --> 08:13.197 Would you just call the listeners stupid? 08:13.237 --> 08:15.539 No, I was talking to the stupid community. 08:15.999 --> 08:16.279 Right. 08:16.439 --> 08:20.301 Well, those listeners who are aware and comfortable with the fact that they're stupid. 08:20.361 --> 08:20.561 Yeah. 08:21.141 --> 08:41.316 i count myself what's that squadron stupid squadron i'm the commander of that squadron that's my own private crack force i bet they've got access to fruit yeah they got loads of fruit so listen um stupid squadron this is for you this is it's gonna be a logo for that now no and a jingle how many squadrons can one show take a lot 08:42.301 --> 08:44.382 Because then we'd be armed to the teeth, and we could take all coming. 08:44.402 --> 08:46.943 Because the whole half hour would just be squadron shout-outs. 08:47.663 --> 08:49.183 It would make it easier, wouldn't it? 08:49.243 --> 08:50.704 People in the army like this show, you know. 08:50.724 --> 08:51.024 They do. 08:51.044 --> 08:52.624 Well, it gives them a sense of order. 08:52.825 --> 08:56.246 We've got a couple of messages from guys in the Navy boats. 08:57.146 --> 09:00.067 And, you know, we're not snubbing you by not getting back to you. 09:00.087 --> 09:00.827 We haven't got postcards. 09:00.847 --> 09:02.468 We're going to get postcards soon, right? 09:02.968 --> 09:05.509 And then, like, pictures and stuff that we can send out. 09:05.869 --> 09:07.229 So then we're going to be on top of it. 09:07.449 --> 09:10.010 So anyway, listen, Uberman, this is a lovely track. 09:10.030 --> 09:10.671 I hope you enjoy it. 09:10.751 --> 09:11.751 It's called Dolphin Blue. 09:12.304 --> 09:16.766 Well, I'd be more inclined to talk to you if you stop shouting at me. 09:17.306 --> 09:19.247 That was the new single from Peaches Geldof. 09:19.607 --> 09:20.107 Talk to me. 09:21.428 --> 09:22.908 It's only a matter of time, isn't it? 09:23.128 --> 09:25.369 Before we play the new single by Peaches Geldof. 09:25.409 --> 09:26.670 Absolutely, yeah. 09:26.830 --> 09:27.410 I'd be excited. 09:27.430 --> 09:28.150 That would be a great day. 09:28.290 --> 09:30.151 It would be a good, it's bound to be a good song. 09:30.371 --> 09:31.652 It's bound to be a great song. 09:31.672 --> 09:34.013 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC 6 Music. 09:34.733 --> 09:36.574 I went for an audition yesterday, Joe. 09:37.634 --> 09:38.214 As an actor? 09:38.434 --> 09:38.855 An actor? 09:38.915 --> 09:40.615 As an actor, yeah. 09:40.735 --> 09:42.476 It's one of the things I do, you know. 09:42.716 --> 09:44.697 It's one of the many strings to your bow. 09:44.797 --> 09:48.038 Many, many strings to my polymathic bow. 09:48.978 --> 09:51.119 And I went along to the audition. 09:51.879 --> 09:53.359 And it was really enjoyable. 09:53.519 --> 09:55.960 Now, most auditions are not in any way enjoyable. 09:56.360 --> 10:00.741 But this one was nice because the people for whom I was auditioning were not in the room. 10:00.781 --> 10:02.181 They were all over in America. 10:02.561 --> 10:04.362 So I was just going on tape, right? 10:05.022 --> 10:07.762 And the guy that was putting me on tape was a fan of this show. 10:08.743 --> 10:10.643 So it was really nice. 10:10.683 --> 10:16.004 He was very smiley and put me at ease and just relaxed me. 10:16.044 --> 10:19.245 And it was a very enjoyable process just reading through a few scenes with him. 10:20.145 --> 10:20.726 at the camera. 10:21.386 --> 10:22.927 What kind of thing was it for? 10:22.947 --> 10:25.449 I can't really tell you. 10:26.670 --> 10:30.532 It was for a remake of Filofax but don't tell anyone. 10:30.572 --> 10:31.413 It's a good idea. 10:32.634 --> 10:45.522 It's an updated remake of the Jim Belushi film Filofax but for the Blackberry generation and they've already had to do a lot of updates because Blackberries are a bit yesterday. 10:45.902 --> 10:46.663 What would it be now then? 10:47.190 --> 10:48.792 It would be the iPhone effects. 10:49.232 --> 10:49.973 Yeah, something like that. 10:50.373 --> 10:52.595 Anyway, so that's what I was auditioning for. 10:52.615 --> 10:53.796 So that was a nice audition, right? 10:53.816 --> 11:01.624 But most of the auditions that I've been to, and I'm sure most actors would agree, are absolutely horrific and painful and one that particularly sticks in my head. 11:01.644 --> 11:04.907 Now, I was thinking this might be a possible text to nation topic, right? 11:05.547 --> 11:11.173 Bad, not just bad auditions, but bad job interviews in general times where you've been 11:11.753 --> 11:17.837 on the spot and really had a chance to prove yourself and show your worth, and it's gone disastrously wrong. 11:18.698 --> 11:24.722 And, you know, half the business of doing an interview or being an actor and doing an audition is confidence, right? 11:24.742 --> 11:32.767 That's the majority of the battle is to do with just being confident enough to bluff your way through the process and make a good first impression. 11:33.107 --> 11:34.368 I'm not very good at that kind of thing. 11:34.748 --> 11:35.369 Are you good at that? 11:35.529 --> 11:36.189 Very, very good. 11:36.249 --> 11:37.450 Are you very good? 11:37.510 --> 11:38.411 Yeah. 11:38.931 --> 11:40.933 So usually what I do is I go in there and I 11:41.873 --> 11:44.314 stumble and stutter and make excuses. 11:44.334 --> 11:46.594 And that's not very good, especially if you're an actor. 11:47.254 --> 11:54.035 And I remember one time I went for an audition for a TV drama, sort of comedy drama thing. 11:54.055 --> 11:55.156 This was a few years ago. 11:55.836 --> 12:01.197 And there was a panel of three quite severe looking ladies who were auditioning me. 12:02.257 --> 12:06.118 And I sort of sat down and they don't give you any points. 12:06.138 --> 12:07.178 They don't put in this 12:08.358 --> 12:11.040 In this occasion, they didn't put me at ease at all, right? 12:11.621 --> 12:13.582 They weren't like being smiley or anything like that. 12:14.203 --> 12:16.985 So I just sat down and I said, right, okay. 12:18.066 --> 12:19.587 They asked me to prepare a couple of scenes. 12:19.627 --> 12:23.070 I said, right, I'll just start reading then. 12:23.090 --> 12:31.056 Should I just go into the first scene and do a fairly straight, boring read and then you can sort of direct me from there, right? 12:31.996 --> 12:36.520 And the woman said, oh, well, it's always very exciting when an actor promises a boring read. 12:37.721 --> 12:42.824 So immediately I'm like, okay, probably a bad thing to say. 12:43.345 --> 12:45.486 Shouldn't have said boring, no jokes. 12:45.667 --> 12:46.107 Okay. 12:46.687 --> 12:46.887 Right. 12:48.008 --> 12:53.152 So I go into the first scene and there's a lot of stage direction, right? 12:53.192 --> 12:59.397 Stage direction being the bits where it says, then the character crosses over to the room and picks up a bucket, blah, blah, blah. 12:59.717 --> 13:03.400 Usually in auditions, they casting people, read them for you. 13:03.500 --> 13:05.201 I mean, this is a great, this is the bucket scene. 13:05.421 --> 13:06.402 Jack and Jill, the movie. 13:06.542 --> 13:06.722 Yeah. 13:06.962 --> 13:07.182 Yeah. 13:07.202 --> 13:08.163 That's a good movie. 13:08.984 --> 13:11.085 But they didn't read the stage directions, right? 13:11.525 --> 13:14.167 So I was sort of waiting for them to read the stage direction and getting confused. 13:14.187 --> 13:15.768 And I was all like on the back foot. 13:16.208 --> 13:17.109 It was all frightening. 13:17.409 --> 13:21.572 Then we get to another scene, which is, shall I say, a love scene, a physical scene. 13:22.312 --> 13:27.876 And most of the stage direction in this is all saucy stage direction about what's going on between the couple. 13:28.916 --> 13:30.257 And there's not very much dialogue at all. 13:30.297 --> 13:30.918 Sort of a film. 13:30.938 --> 13:32.239 What's this you were auditioning for? 13:32.319 --> 13:34.120 It's a grown up adult project. 13:34.880 --> 13:38.143 And I thought acting was one of the key skills necessary. 13:38.604 --> 13:39.785 Well, no, I mean, no. 13:39.985 --> 13:40.205 Yeah. 13:40.405 --> 13:48.032 So I talked my way through the scene and I sort of I was sort of saying out loud, well, yeah, OK, well, I'll say that I'll say the dialogue bits in this scene. 13:48.052 --> 13:49.353 But I mean, obviously a lot of it's. 13:49.813 --> 14:16.345 stage direction and and and they weren't giving me any help whatsoever so I just sort of say okay um oh yes yes uh oh that's so good etc and then he goes over and you know they're lying on the bed the couple and I'm sort of speaking the stage directions right so I get to the end of this very awkward scene and I say well there you go uh did my best it's uh obviously very difficult to 14:17.105 --> 14:27.483 you know, conjure the scene without, you know, another actual person there, and the woman says, yes, well, you could have used acting. 14:28.423 --> 14:29.004 No! 14:29.064 --> 14:34.607 That's the thing you see, you've never had any formal acting training. 14:34.807 --> 14:34.988 No. 14:35.128 --> 14:39.571 And actors get trained, I would imagine, how to deal with audition situations. 14:39.911 --> 14:41.152 I think that's the problem, isn't it? 14:41.392 --> 14:41.572 Yeah. 14:41.612 --> 14:42.293 And yeah, they do. 14:42.373 --> 14:50.938 There are things that are agreed between proper actors and those who are auditioning proper actors, ways to approach situations like that, that you and I aren't privy to. 14:51.159 --> 14:51.339 No. 14:51.399 --> 14:53.800 Thereby you making a phenomenal tool of yourself. 14:55.822 --> 14:58.783 That'll be the reason why you look like a complete idiot at all. 14:58.843 --> 15:05.267 Yeah, but I was thinking... I was thinking like, you know, even if Danny Craig had been here, I couldn't... No, Danny Craig. 15:05.507 --> 15:09.270 You reckon he would have been... He was... He's a proper actor. 15:09.290 --> 15:10.010 He's a trained actor. 15:10.030 --> 15:11.451 He would have known exactly how to do that. 15:11.491 --> 15:15.413 So a trained actor would have leapt up from their seat and started... Yes, he would have been as if there was a second person in the room. 15:15.453 --> 15:17.835 He would have just made empty space become a person. 15:17.875 --> 15:18.996 Stripped off all his clothes. 15:19.756 --> 15:25.858 You know, even someone like David Bowie can make himself appear to be trapped in a glass box when there is no such box. 15:26.359 --> 15:27.439 Even I can do that. 15:29.020 --> 15:32.981 I can make it look like I'm pulling a rope. 15:33.441 --> 15:34.262 I'm doing a rope pulling. 15:34.342 --> 15:35.722 It does look like there's a rope there. 15:35.882 --> 15:36.662 Now I'm confused. 15:36.702 --> 15:37.483 Is there really a rope? 15:38.523 --> 15:38.683 Wow! 15:38.704 --> 15:40.745 I wish you could see this, listeners. 15:40.785 --> 15:41.246 It's amazing. 15:41.266 --> 15:42.146 It's like he's pulling a rope. 15:42.166 --> 15:43.247 Yeah, I'm a good mime artist. 15:43.267 --> 15:45.729 You could extrapolate that into a person easily like this. 15:48.631 --> 15:52.274 And then start pretending to get jiggy with them. 15:53.435 --> 15:56.217 I'm not going to translate that action for the listeners. 15:56.458 --> 15:57.678 But it was very humiliating. 15:57.719 --> 16:01.882 And it was the closest I've ever come to standing up in an audition and just saying, you know what? 16:02.462 --> 16:07.568 Ladyface, you can keep your audition and you can go off somewhere. 16:07.869 --> 16:17.900 So we're asking the listeners, sorry, because we're just coming up to the news, we're asking the listeners to send us for Text the Nation their experiences of auditions or job interviews if you're not an actor. 16:17.920 --> 16:20.423 Or can we broaden it even more, any situation? 16:20.943 --> 16:21.844 Just any situation? 16:23.575 --> 16:24.996 Your exclamation is just situations. 16:25.036 --> 16:26.277 Yeah, no, it's job interviews. 16:26.297 --> 16:27.438 No, it's specifically job interviews. 16:27.458 --> 16:28.559 And auditions and that kind of thing. 16:28.579 --> 16:30.580 Yeah, when you've made a complete fool of yourself. 16:31.341 --> 16:32.482 But now it's time for the next correct decision. 16:32.502 --> 16:32.742 Well, hang on. 16:32.762 --> 16:34.403 We've got to sign out Black Squadron first. 16:34.623 --> 16:34.743 Oh. 16:35.224 --> 16:36.445 Sign out Black Squadron, Ben. 16:36.465 --> 16:40.348 And Black Squadron! 16:40.368 --> 16:41.128 Stand down. 16:41.248 --> 16:42.369 Your work is done. 16:42.930 --> 16:45.311 You've earned yourself a nice warm bath. 16:45.952 --> 16:47.493 And maybe a nice little bun. 16:47.713 --> 16:48.614 And Black Squadron! 16:51.147 --> 16:53.210 And don't forget, the text number is 64046. 16:53.811 --> 17:00.019 You can also interact with Text the Nation via email, adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 17:00.119 --> 17:00.780 It's time for the news. 17:01.000 --> 17:02.783 That was Bat for Lashes with Daniel. 17:03.684 --> 17:04.625 Very nice indeed. 17:04.965 --> 17:07.729 She sounds as if she's been listening to Fleetwood Mac. 17:08.490 --> 17:10.931 Maybe she has, that wouldn't be an uncool thing to do. 17:11.252 --> 17:13.073 But like Lake Period uncool Fleetwood may. 17:13.433 --> 17:15.614 Right, that would be a less cool thing to do. 17:15.714 --> 17:18.315 But it's nice though, she's turned it into a delicious soup. 17:18.856 --> 17:20.397 She's very beautiful and talented. 17:20.857 --> 17:22.558 And she makes very good videos, doesn't she? 17:22.938 --> 17:23.578 Natasha Khan. 17:23.618 --> 17:24.299 Yeah, certainly. 17:24.319 --> 17:25.419 I wonder what, the one for that one. 17:25.519 --> 17:26.520 Oh, that's an old one, isn't it? 17:27.262 --> 17:29.963 Daniel, no that's new, I think. 17:30.183 --> 17:32.263 We played it before, I don't think it's super fresh. 17:33.124 --> 17:33.924 Wow. 17:35.144 --> 17:38.785 Off the vine, I'm speaking, I mean it's still fresh, it's just not super freshly plucked. 17:39.665 --> 17:40.806 She didn't record it yesterday. 17:40.886 --> 17:42.526 No, and that's the kind of thing we like to play. 17:42.606 --> 17:45.767 On sixth music it's new, brand new music and old music. 17:46.067 --> 17:46.447 Exactly. 17:46.787 --> 17:49.748 Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music, incidentally. 17:50.148 --> 17:51.269 Now, I got a little confused. 17:51.289 --> 17:52.429 I get confused quite easily. 17:52.849 --> 17:58.711 But when I was cycling along the other day on the side of a bus, I saw an advert for Fast and Furious. 17:59.051 --> 17:59.372 Yes. 18:00.072 --> 18:05.794 And so I was thinking, what is that to do with The Fast and The Furious, the Vin Diesel film with cars in it? 18:06.514 --> 18:10.639 And it turns out it is, but it's just another installment. 18:10.659 --> 18:12.461 In fact, it's the fourth installment. 18:12.882 --> 18:13.583 Is it the fourth? 18:13.823 --> 18:15.125 In the franchise, yeah. 18:15.225 --> 18:17.167 The first was The Fast and the Furious. 18:17.668 --> 18:20.231 The second was Too Fast, Too Furious, wasn't it? 18:20.271 --> 18:21.632 Yeah, then it was the third one. 18:21.753 --> 18:22.874 Was that Tokyo Drift? 18:23.174 --> 18:24.276 Yes, correct. 18:25.885 --> 18:31.627 And now it's gone back to just fast and furious, so all they've done is they've just dropped the definite article. 18:31.687 --> 18:35.428 It's a brilliant new direction in the naming of sequels, which is a tricky business. 18:35.488 --> 18:38.868 They've got Diesel back, dropped the definite article, job done. 18:39.549 --> 18:41.209 Say there was a film called Sausage. 18:41.489 --> 18:41.709 Yeah. 18:42.269 --> 18:44.070 The first film would be called Sausage. 18:44.850 --> 18:50.313 The second film would be called... No, the second film would be called Sausage Returns. 18:51.113 --> 18:51.353 Right. 18:51.453 --> 18:51.734 Yeah. 18:52.074 --> 18:53.134 It's usually this is how they do it. 18:53.154 --> 18:53.975 Return of the Sausage. 18:54.675 --> 18:55.916 That's kind of in the 80s. 18:56.136 --> 18:56.356 Really? 18:56.596 --> 18:58.337 Yeah, now it would be Sausage Returns. 18:59.337 --> 18:59.978 Back to Sausage. 19:00.138 --> 19:03.039 Third film might be... Back to... Third film might be Sausages. 19:03.479 --> 19:03.700 Yeah. 19:03.880 --> 19:07.501 Then once they'd exhausted the whole Sausage franchise, they'd go back to Sausage Begins. 19:08.142 --> 19:08.422 Right. 19:08.522 --> 19:08.802 You know? 19:09.002 --> 19:09.763 Isn't that the logic? 19:09.943 --> 19:10.163 Uh-huh. 19:10.303 --> 19:10.903 Yeah, exactly. 19:11.383 --> 19:12.924 And then pre-sequel naming logic. 19:13.124 --> 19:13.845 Mo Sausages. 19:14.605 --> 19:15.585 Mo' better sausages. 19:15.645 --> 19:15.986 Yeah. 19:16.466 --> 19:17.886 Delicious Mo' sausages. 19:17.966 --> 19:19.007 Jazz sausages. 19:19.147 --> 19:22.828 Well I was thinking for Fast and Furious, because obviously they're in it for the long run, right? 19:23.488 --> 19:26.989 So this is the fourth instalment, Fast and Furious just dropped the definite article. 19:27.089 --> 19:31.191 Fifth instalment, and let me tell you that the plot, do you know the plot of Fast and Furious? 19:31.311 --> 19:37.593 Probably involves two macho men who get in some kind of a brouhaha. 19:38.773 --> 19:43.716 and have to race each other in a dangerous area to see who's the best one. 19:43.957 --> 19:44.657 Wow, it's weird. 19:44.677 --> 19:45.898 It's like you've seen the film. 19:45.918 --> 19:48.720 Yeah, I have seen the first three, actually. 19:48.860 --> 19:51.001 Well, Vin, no, you've seen Tokyo Drift at all. 19:51.021 --> 19:52.122 Yeah, I've seen Tokyo Drift. 19:52.142 --> 19:55.604 Tokyo Drift has got some amazing footage of a car chase through Shibuya. 19:55.765 --> 19:55.985 Yeah. 19:56.165 --> 19:58.286 It's got some amazing footage of Tokyo. 19:58.747 --> 20:02.369 That lasts about 15 minutes, 10 minutes. 20:02.749 --> 20:03.290 Right. 20:03.310 --> 20:04.010 The rest of it. 20:04.450 --> 20:05.131 Unwatchable. 20:05.211 --> 20:05.471 Yeah. 20:05.771 --> 20:07.733 Dog box with a rubbish skirt. 20:07.853 --> 20:08.253 Cat litter. 20:09.053 --> 20:10.734 Yeah, dog nonsense. 20:11.955 --> 20:18.499 Well, this one, as you say, includes it's got Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster. 20:18.599 --> 20:19.660 Oh, Jordana Brewster? 20:19.680 --> 20:21.421 Yeah, I'm glad to say she's involved. 20:21.661 --> 20:25.363 They're all back and they pick up where they left off, apparently. 20:25.484 --> 20:31.187 Diesel plays Dom, an ex-con who's still bitter at undercover cop Brian, played by Paul Walker. 20:31.207 --> 20:32.508 Tell me something I don't already know. 20:32.748 --> 20:36.411 But soon, the pair joined forces to investigate the death of a mutual associate. 20:36.471 --> 20:36.811 Yes. 20:37.252 --> 20:38.553 Right, so here's what I'm thinking. 20:38.633 --> 20:39.834 In the fifth instalment, right? 20:40.114 --> 20:41.875 That's just called fast fur. 20:42.916 --> 20:43.597 Fasty fur. 20:43.677 --> 20:44.398 Fasty fur. 20:44.478 --> 20:45.158 Fast fur. 20:45.959 --> 20:46.179 Right. 20:46.739 --> 20:49.942 Well, that would then, it would spell fast fur. 20:50.322 --> 20:50.643 Yes. 20:50.923 --> 20:51.443 And then what? 20:51.483 --> 20:53.065 That sounds like it's not an animal. 20:53.385 --> 20:54.146 Exactly. 20:54.366 --> 20:55.186 It's a greyhound. 20:55.206 --> 20:55.647 Exactly. 20:55.667 --> 20:57.148 It's a greyhound based race film. 20:57.168 --> 20:57.929 This is a good film. 20:58.029 --> 20:59.050 No, it's not greyhounds. 20:59.770 --> 21:00.290 But that would be good. 21:00.330 --> 21:02.171 Greyhounds racing through Tokyo. 21:02.471 --> 21:03.871 Yeah, but it doesn't... Wow, imagine the skidding. 21:04.031 --> 21:05.432 My idea is horses, right? 21:05.492 --> 21:06.252 Knocking over bins. 21:06.772 --> 21:07.752 They could knock over a bin. 21:07.772 --> 21:08.353 No, horses. 21:08.733 --> 21:10.433 And all the trash could roll... Horses! 21:10.673 --> 21:11.213 Sorry, horses. 21:11.313 --> 21:11.493 Right. 21:11.694 --> 21:12.454 Fast fur. 21:13.014 --> 21:14.174 It's Finn Diesel, an ex-con. 21:14.194 --> 21:19.116 He's still very bitter, but now he's decided to join horses, not forces. 21:19.136 --> 21:19.356 Right. 21:23.817 --> 21:24.137 Yeah? 21:24.177 --> 21:25.477 Yeah, you're happy with that, aren't you? 21:25.557 --> 21:30.158 Well, not so much now that you've ruined it by going on about greyhounds. 21:30.778 --> 21:31.739 Horses is good. 21:31.779 --> 21:32.499 They join horses. 21:32.519 --> 21:33.419 They join horses. 21:33.459 --> 21:36.559 So what, they breed some kind of weird Siamese horse with eight legs. 21:36.580 --> 21:37.800 I don't know, they go and investigate. 21:37.940 --> 21:39.460 That would be worth paying money to see. 21:39.660 --> 21:40.280 All right, listen. 21:40.800 --> 21:42.041 The sickly instalment. 21:43.041 --> 21:45.461 The sequel to Fast and Fur. 21:45.641 --> 21:46.181 Fast Fur. 21:46.301 --> 21:46.861 Fast Fur. 21:47.062 --> 21:48.362 Is just called Fafu. 21:50.464 --> 21:59.943 And it stars Vin Diesel again as an ex-con who now fancies the undercover cop, Brian, and soon the pair join forces to investigate each other. 22:01.195 --> 22:01.455 Right. 22:01.575 --> 22:03.857 Sounds like an homoerotic thriller. 22:03.917 --> 22:04.977 Exactly right. 22:04.997 --> 22:06.238 Exactly right. 22:06.258 --> 22:07.739 By that time that'll be fashionable. 22:07.799 --> 22:10.501 Culture will have come round to... I'm waiting for... ...and love. 22:10.741 --> 22:11.281 Exactly. 22:11.541 --> 22:14.903 And I think Diesel will absolutely... He'll jump in there. 22:14.943 --> 22:15.464 He'll be keen. 22:15.484 --> 22:17.285 ...fill the gap very nicely. 22:17.325 --> 22:20.367 What about, what if they do just a film called The And The? 22:21.307 --> 22:23.528 Because they're left over from the earlier film, aren't they? 22:23.688 --> 22:24.688 There could be a spin-off, though. 22:24.728 --> 22:25.008 Yeah. 22:26.709 --> 22:27.489 What would that be about? 22:27.509 --> 22:34.651 That would be about... All the people waiting at the start and finish line of the race and what they do. 22:34.771 --> 22:35.451 The extras, yeah. 22:35.471 --> 22:37.572 What happens to all the extras in the film? 22:38.772 --> 22:41.593 But I'm thinking the final instalment, right, is just called 22:43.734 --> 22:44.394 That's good. 22:44.995 --> 22:46.495 And it's Vin Diesel. 22:46.515 --> 22:47.256 He's an ex-con. 22:47.596 --> 22:53.439 He's so bitter at undercover cop Brian, who he no longer fancies, that he lets the air out of his tires. 22:55.140 --> 22:56.581 And it takes 90 minutes. 22:56.661 --> 22:56.981 Yeah. 22:58.262 --> 22:59.522 That's a good film idea. 22:59.863 --> 23:00.563 It's good, isn't it? 23:00.743 --> 23:00.963 Yeah. 23:01.003 --> 23:01.764 I've thought it all through. 23:01.784 --> 23:03.024 You're pretty impressed. 23:03.064 --> 23:04.745 You're at least a double threat. 23:04.785 --> 23:06.866 I mean, the acting, the writing. 23:07.027 --> 23:07.227 Yeah. 23:08.396 --> 23:09.397 The ideas? 23:11.500 --> 23:12.161 It's all there. 23:13.183 --> 23:16.848 Come on, Hollywood, it's waiting for you in a little, little buckles bag. 23:17.468 --> 23:18.350 A little brown bag. 23:18.370 --> 23:20.493 Wait until you get kicked up at the lost property office. 23:20.513 --> 23:21.354 Speaking of bags. 23:21.394 --> 23:21.774 In Hollywood. 23:21.794 --> 23:23.216 Here's James Brown. 23:24.159 --> 23:25.841 That is a young man. 23:26.322 --> 23:27.684 He's called James Brown. 23:28.285 --> 23:30.668 He dances like a kind of chicken. 23:31.188 --> 23:33.792 Like a funky... Can you imagine a funky chicken? 23:34.052 --> 23:34.913 Sounds disgraceful. 23:35.254 --> 23:36.215 Well, that's what he does. 23:36.996 --> 23:39.780 And that's called Papa's Got a Brand New Bag. 23:40.360 --> 23:42.882 And this is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 23:43.102 --> 23:44.643 I wouldn't let my kids listen to that. 23:45.063 --> 23:45.324 Why not? 23:46.064 --> 23:47.425 It just sounds corrupting. 23:47.845 --> 23:50.987 Right, give them the bad... And I like to live in a town where dancing was banned. 23:51.187 --> 23:51.988 I agree with you. 23:52.188 --> 23:52.448 Yeah? 23:52.528 --> 23:56.031 Because that kind of music, generally, it speaks to what part of the body? 23:56.211 --> 23:56.811 The devil part. 23:56.831 --> 23:57.792 The loins. 23:57.852 --> 23:58.672 The loin area. 23:58.873 --> 24:00.474 I think dancing should be banned. 24:00.494 --> 24:07.678 If kids want to dance, they should go to some sort of sawmill on the outskirts of town and dance alone. 24:08.619 --> 24:21.131 exactly and yeah do do what's it called punch dancing it's called yeah the footloose that's right uh either that or just listen to music which is impossible to dance to like i don't know star sailor 24:24.274 --> 24:27.476 Music for the heart and the head rather than the groin. 24:27.496 --> 24:28.796 Yeah, that's a good idea actually. 24:29.057 --> 24:35.881 Trying to dance to music that's not danceable to like a very slow moody radio head number or something. 24:35.921 --> 24:36.942 Something like that, yeah. 24:37.642 --> 24:37.902 Yeah. 24:38.022 --> 24:39.383 It's fun to dance to that kind of thing. 24:40.003 --> 24:40.804 You reckon if you try? 24:40.824 --> 24:43.045 But it becomes interpretive dance more, doesn't it? 24:43.145 --> 24:43.446 Right. 24:43.486 --> 24:46.648 Just making shapes with your body and swaying with your hands. 24:46.688 --> 24:48.369 When's that kind of thing going to come back in? 24:48.389 --> 24:49.670 Because at the moment it's all very 24:50.430 --> 24:52.971 you know, sort of, how do people dance generally? 24:53.091 --> 24:53.571 Absolutely. 24:53.651 --> 24:54.091 No idea. 24:54.111 --> 24:56.072 I've not seen anyone dancing for the last 10 years. 24:56.092 --> 24:57.192 Let's get off the subject. 24:58.392 --> 24:59.032 We've forgotten. 24:59.392 --> 25:07.114 Did you used to do like, you know, miming all the words in the song on the dance floor to cover up the fact that you can't actually dance. 25:07.134 --> 25:07.815 You do some comedy dancing. 25:07.835 --> 25:09.055 That's the easiest thing to do, just to 25:09.155 --> 25:09.995 pretend you're singing it. 25:10.135 --> 25:10.576 Exactly. 25:10.616 --> 25:12.576 That's the best get out clause for dancing. 25:12.656 --> 25:21.040 Now I've got a very vivid memory of standing in a little circle of people thinking that we were so funny acting out all the words of the song we were dancing to. 25:21.060 --> 25:21.820 It's the thing to do. 25:21.940 --> 25:22.960 Good times! 25:23.140 --> 25:23.881 Great times. 25:24.761 --> 25:25.101 Brilliant. 25:25.161 --> 25:26.762 Listen, here's a free play from me. 25:26.882 --> 25:27.402 Is it now? 25:27.882 --> 25:31.944 Yeah, this is Cornelius with, I think it's from the album Point, isn't it? 25:31.964 --> 25:33.884 This is his cover of Brazil. 25:34.045 --> 25:34.905 This is very nice. 25:36.586 --> 25:37.808 That's very nice and relaxing. 25:38.548 --> 25:41.371 That's Cornelius with Brazil from his album Point. 25:42.553 --> 25:45.195 Now I'm...should we have the text-a-nation jingle there, Ben? 25:47.478 --> 25:48.299 Text-a-nation! 25:48.359 --> 25:49.420 Text, text, text! 25:49.540 --> 25:50.281 Text-a-nation! 25:50.321 --> 25:51.282 What if I don't want to? 25:51.542 --> 25:52.263 Text-a-nation! 25:52.363 --> 25:53.364 But I'm using email. 25:53.544 --> 25:54.265 Is that a problem? 25:54.305 --> 25:55.126 It doesn't matter, text! 25:57.489 --> 26:12.242 Texanation this week is all about disastrous auditions, stroke, job interviews that you have experienced, maybe ways that either things have gone wrong for you in that situation, or perhaps ways that you've tried to impress people in that situation and it's gone wrong. 26:12.662 --> 26:17.146 I mean, this happens a great deal to actors, obviously, which is what inspired the thing. 26:17.166 --> 26:23.772 I just remembered another cringe-worthy incident from my brief acting career thus far. 26:24.612 --> 26:33.241 I went to audition for the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy film, which our friend Garth directed, I thought, you know, at the very least I can wangle myself a audition, right? 26:33.522 --> 26:33.742 Yeah. 26:34.162 --> 26:41.450 So I went along there and I was really hoping that maybe I could just get an audition to just be like a vogue on or something. 26:41.530 --> 26:42.130 That's what I wanted. 26:42.170 --> 26:44.032 I just wanted a couple of lines in the flipping film. 26:44.833 --> 26:49.998 And then, so he said, yeah, yeah, come in and audition for Arthur Dent, like the main part. 26:50.038 --> 26:50.399 Yes. 26:51.540 --> 26:53.442 So I said, really, Arthur Dent? 26:53.562 --> 26:56.304 OK, well, it's come in and audition for Martin Freeman's part. 26:57.405 --> 27:01.129 Come in and audition for the part that we've agreed with the studio is going to be played by Martin Freeman. 27:01.309 --> 27:04.152 Well, at that point, it hadn't been agreed, of course, and they hadn't cast Martin. 27:04.172 --> 27:04.692 They were looking at 27:05.533 --> 27:16.115 Top comedic British talent to fill the role But it was sort of annoying because I knew obviously I wasn't gonna get that was the main part But still I thought I'm gonna give it my all, you know, I've got to be positive. 27:16.215 --> 27:16.996 Why can't I get it? 27:17.356 --> 27:19.416 Sure I mean, I've heard who else they're auditioning. 27:19.656 --> 27:20.016 I'm better. 27:20.036 --> 27:27.318 I'm better than at least None of them at you know acting so I'm gonna give myself a chance and go in there 27:28.854 --> 27:35.416 And I thought, not only that, I am gonna dress up like Arthur Dent to put myself in character. 27:35.436 --> 27:36.456 Now that's a bad idea. 27:36.476 --> 27:38.296 What, in a dressing counter? 27:38.376 --> 27:40.037 Exactly. 27:40.617 --> 27:47.959 I don't know, I'm just instinctively, I'm feeling, I don't really know what I'm talking about, but my gut's screaming no to the past. 27:48.339 --> 27:49.219 I wish you'd been around. 27:50.259 --> 27:54.160 I wish I'd been able to give you a little call that morning and ask you, hey, Joe, what do you reckon about this? 27:54.380 --> 27:55.140 I got a good idea. 27:55.400 --> 27:56.761 I'm going to dress up like Arthur Dent. 27:56.801 --> 28:00.162 Sometimes you hear stories where that's the thing that gets the act of the world, though. 28:00.202 --> 28:00.582 Exactly. 28:00.702 --> 28:07.584 I can't remember any specifics, but I'm sure I've read stories of great actors being overly, you know, oh, no, the story I'm thinking of. 28:09.824 --> 28:13.127 Is what's her face turning up to audition for Catwoman dressed as Catwoman? 28:13.347 --> 28:15.189 Do you remember the nutty actress? 28:15.349 --> 28:15.789 Yes. 28:16.110 --> 28:18.952 I forget what she's called and she turned up... Sean Young. 28:19.312 --> 28:20.093 I think that was it. 28:20.113 --> 28:24.056 She turned up dressed as in a sort of homemade Catwoman suit. 28:24.076 --> 28:25.217 That's not going to get you the rose. 28:25.237 --> 28:26.318 She didn't get the part, no. 28:26.338 --> 28:26.838 No, she didn't. 28:27.259 --> 28:31.662 Well, you know, our listeners know how this story ends because obviously Martin Freeman played the part of Arthur Dent. 28:32.603 --> 28:54.113 But in I went, right, and I had the dressing gown in my bag, and there was quite a frightening casting lady, quite a famous frightening casting lady as well, whose name I won't mention, but she was in there, Jeanine casting, and she was in there looking very formidable, and she's proper, you know, Hollywood casting lady. 28:55.393 --> 29:04.215 And I say just before the audition starts, actually, I took my liberty of bringing along something to help me get into character. 29:04.235 --> 29:06.376 I was already thinking like, this is bad. 29:06.796 --> 29:07.736 This is a bad idea. 29:07.836 --> 29:08.576 You could sense it. 29:08.616 --> 29:12.357 But part of me was just thinking, doesn't matter, just ignore your instincts, buckles. 29:12.397 --> 29:13.557 Your instincts are rubbish. 29:13.917 --> 29:18.599 You should just ignore them and plow on with your brilliant idea and throw yourself into it 109%. 29:19.039 --> 29:23.880 And then the casting lady is really going to be knocked out by your hoot spa. 29:24.740 --> 29:34.069 So I get my dressing gown out, put it on, do my audition, pretty bad, do a pretty bad job of it. 29:34.389 --> 29:35.390 She doesn't look impressed. 29:36.150 --> 29:45.499 At the end I'm feeling embarrassed, feeling a lot like I want to cry, and very much aware that she's been gazing at me like I'm a freakazoid. 29:46.519 --> 29:52.642 Take my dressing gown off to pack into my bag before I go out and get on my bike. 29:52.802 --> 29:53.583 And safe. 29:53.623 --> 29:54.643 Thanks very much for seeing me. 29:55.624 --> 29:57.665 Put my dressing gown away there. 29:57.705 --> 29:59.506 What have you got on under the dressing gown? 30:00.166 --> 30:00.927 Just normal sivvies. 30:00.947 --> 30:01.707 Normal clothes, right? 30:01.727 --> 30:02.828 You haven't stripped down to your pants. 30:02.848 --> 30:04.309 I haven't stripped down to my jeans, no. 30:04.389 --> 30:07.670 I must put my pants back on. 30:08.231 --> 30:10.432 No, we're not using Yes We Are. 30:11.766 --> 30:12.407 Hang on a second. 30:12.427 --> 30:14.250 Sorry, but you are talented. 30:14.871 --> 30:15.973 You certainly do have to part. 30:15.993 --> 30:18.436 You've seen your part and you've got your part. 30:18.617 --> 30:19.157 No, it was not. 30:19.178 --> 30:19.939 I just had civvies on. 30:20.219 --> 30:23.484 So I put my dressing gown away in my bag and I say, actually said, um. 30:24.704 --> 30:28.387 Probably not the done thing, I suppose, is it? 30:28.467 --> 30:30.489 To dress up as... No, it's not Adam. 30:30.950 --> 30:33.452 But you've broken rules and smashed through boundaries. 30:33.492 --> 30:33.732 Yeah. 30:33.892 --> 30:35.033 And you've got the rule. 30:35.754 --> 30:36.535 That's what you wanted, Adam. 30:36.575 --> 30:37.255 That's what I wanted. 30:37.275 --> 30:38.597 That's what I thought she was going to say. 30:38.677 --> 30:40.458 Instead, she said, put it this way. 30:40.759 --> 30:44.382 If you did that kind of thing in Los Angeles, you'd never work again. 30:45.703 --> 31:00.239 is she yeah wow these are good stories so and what was the one the other what was it the other one said why don't you try some acting yeah you could you could you could have used acting wow and you're persevering man that's good that's what it's about man you've got to ignore it 31:03.306 --> 31:05.347 Well what about learning from the mistakes? 31:05.608 --> 31:11.852 Obviously I'm learning, I'm not dressing up in any dressing gowns and I am trying to use acting in my auditions now. 31:11.932 --> 31:12.632 Good, good, good. 31:13.853 --> 31:22.859 Well listen, keep your stories of auditions or job interviews as well because obviously it would be a little bit limiting if we were just asking for acting auditions but you know 31:23.679 --> 31:29.482 a job interviews where you're put on the spot, expect it to perform and something critical is at stake. 31:29.623 --> 31:30.583 What's the text number? 31:30.603 --> 31:30.583 64046? 31:30.663 --> 31:31.864 Yeah. 31:32.224 --> 31:39.248 Or adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk and we'll read out some of your missives in a bit. 31:39.528 --> 31:40.769 We're going to play some Depeche mode. 31:40.809 --> 31:44.171 After that we've got a new 10 o'clock top of hour jingle coming up. 31:44.311 --> 31:47.473 That's exciting, but here's the mode right now with wrong. 31:49.392 --> 31:55.338 Voice of the big vintage castle You are listening to Adam and Jo on 6 Music 32:05.299 --> 32:06.140 Wonderful stuff. 32:06.520 --> 32:08.121 That's Supergrass with Grace. 32:08.282 --> 32:09.302 This is Adam and Jo. 32:09.603 --> 32:11.704 That's not... I mean, that would be wonderful as well. 32:11.985 --> 32:12.285 Yeah. 32:12.705 --> 32:14.286 That's the most wonderful of all stuff. 32:14.527 --> 32:14.847 Surely. 32:14.867 --> 32:15.207 Of course. 32:15.407 --> 32:16.688 That's golden stuff there. 32:16.888 --> 32:18.410 Well, no, that would then be golden stuff. 32:18.830 --> 32:19.751 Oh, for goodness sake. 32:20.461 --> 32:22.163 That was Supergrass. 32:22.343 --> 32:23.524 I said all that already, didn't I? 32:23.544 --> 32:27.248 I sound really beaten down, man. 32:27.288 --> 32:27.768 It's alright. 32:27.868 --> 32:29.130 I know, I didn't mean to. 32:29.550 --> 32:30.011 That's alright. 32:30.051 --> 32:31.332 Let's do a more energetic one. 32:31.372 --> 32:33.394 Let's pretend that the singles just ended. 32:33.634 --> 32:34.415 Wahoo! 32:34.715 --> 32:36.197 That was Grace by Supergrass. 32:36.217 --> 32:38.159 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 32:38.399 --> 32:39.180 Get down! 32:39.200 --> 32:39.260 Joe! 32:40.481 --> 32:41.582 It's just aggressive. 32:41.742 --> 32:43.202 It's like... That was too aggressive, wasn't it? 32:43.222 --> 32:45.503 Yeah, it's like the man from Full Metal Jacket doing DJ. 32:45.523 --> 32:46.544 No, I'm sorry. 32:46.604 --> 32:47.284 I went too far. 32:47.304 --> 32:49.465 I went too far the other way. 32:49.705 --> 32:50.445 Oh, no! 32:51.306 --> 32:55.007 You're listening to the smooth sounds of Adam and Jo on a Saturday morning. 32:55.527 --> 32:58.069 Now you're just getting ladies excited. 32:58.089 --> 33:00.330 That's inappropriate on a Saturday morning. 33:00.350 --> 33:01.190 Me like Howard Stern. 33:01.570 --> 33:03.591 Press yourself against your D-A-B. 33:03.611 --> 33:08.013 Oh my God. 33:08.974 --> 33:11.336 Listen, it's time for some of your text in Text the Nation. 33:11.376 --> 33:13.738 Can we bear the jingle again or have we overplayed the jingle? 33:13.798 --> 33:14.059 Nah, come on. 33:14.159 --> 33:15.140 No, shorter one. 33:18.934 --> 33:19.874 What if I don't want to? 33:19.895 --> 33:21.956 But I'm using email. 33:22.136 --> 33:22.896 Is that a problem? 33:22.916 --> 33:30.501 Someone sent in this week just a completely straight cover of that jingle. 33:30.521 --> 33:30.882 Did you hear that? 33:30.902 --> 33:31.522 Yeah, I like that. 33:32.002 --> 33:32.423 That's good. 33:32.463 --> 33:33.203 I like that a lot. 33:33.303 --> 33:34.224 We might play that later. 33:34.264 --> 33:36.545 That's a good direction for listener-made jingles to go in. 33:36.886 --> 33:38.547 Can you replicate 33:39.167 --> 33:42.892 the jingles we already use so precisely that we can't tell. 33:43.132 --> 33:44.735 What if they just sent in the jingle again? 33:44.895 --> 33:46.116 Someone did that as well though, didn't they? 33:46.136 --> 33:46.938 Pretty much, yeah. 33:46.958 --> 33:50.342 Just sent in one of our own jingles. 33:50.923 --> 33:51.824 Is that loaded at all? 33:51.864 --> 33:52.205 It isn't. 33:52.485 --> 33:54.347 No, maybe that might have to be next week. 33:54.448 --> 33:55.709 No, we can find it, we can find it. 33:55.950 --> 33:56.931 We'll try and load it before the end. 33:57.011 --> 34:04.717 Okay, so anyway, these are some responses to Text the Nation, which is all about interviews or auditions and awful experiences you've had therein. 34:05.077 --> 34:06.398 This is from Simon in Wimbledon. 34:06.779 --> 34:09.321 I had an interview for an engineering firm last year. 34:09.681 --> 34:14.445 Partway through, my phone rang, but luckily it was on silent and only vibrating. 34:14.965 --> 34:22.011 I tried shifting my leg to move the phone deeper into my pocket to reduce the sound of the buzzing, but in doing so, answered the phone. 34:22.731 --> 34:27.095 It was my mother, and I also put it on speakerphone accidentally. 34:27.515 --> 34:29.817 All with my dexterous right thigh. 34:30.157 --> 34:30.518 Hello! 34:30.538 --> 34:32.279 Simon, are you there? 34:32.299 --> 34:32.880 It's Mummy! 34:33.480 --> 34:34.121 Said the voice. 34:34.882 --> 34:38.845 Needless to say, the rejection letter I received three days later was very polite. 34:39.025 --> 34:42.686 Well, you don't want to work for a firm that's going to reject you on the basis of a mummy corp. 34:42.766 --> 34:45.788 I know, you would be hired instantly by the Adam and Jo Corp. 34:45.908 --> 34:46.528 Absolutely. 34:46.548 --> 34:49.069 Just for still using the word mummy, you'd be right in there. 34:49.109 --> 34:50.209 Yeah, you'd be made MD. 34:50.970 --> 34:52.890 Like, that's one of our application criteria. 34:52.991 --> 34:53.351 Exactly. 34:53.671 --> 34:57.712 Do you call your parents mum and dad or mummy and daddy? 34:58.353 --> 35:00.313 And they'll get all confused and they'll think, oh, I don't know. 35:00.333 --> 35:01.294 That's the right answer. 35:01.354 --> 35:02.834 Mum and dad probably is the coolest thing. 35:03.255 --> 35:03.715 Mum and dad. 35:04.588 --> 35:05.949 Thank you very much for coming in. 35:06.129 --> 35:07.110 Get out! 35:07.791 --> 35:09.292 Here's another one from Mariel. 35:09.372 --> 35:13.556 She says, at the end of an interview which I thought had gone well, the interviewer got up to say goodbye. 35:13.936 --> 35:18.801 He stood uncomfortably close to me, so I thought, oh, he's going to kiss me. 35:19.822 --> 35:20.202 What? 35:20.422 --> 35:21.543 OK, just go with it. 35:21.583 --> 35:22.324 Don't be uptight. 35:22.384 --> 35:23.345 It's all very media. 35:24.246 --> 35:25.006 So I kissed him. 35:27.608 --> 35:31.830 Only to look down to see his outstretched hand, waiting to shake mine. 35:32.050 --> 35:32.770 Do I kiss that too? 35:32.790 --> 35:35.291 It still makes me cringe three years on. 35:36.171 --> 35:37.232 Well done, Mario. 35:37.372 --> 35:41.373 Again, you would have got the job at the Big British Castle instantly. 35:41.393 --> 35:45.814 Yeah, we would have gotten more than you bargained for, probably. 35:45.834 --> 35:46.895 At that very interview. 35:47.015 --> 35:47.695 Hello. 35:47.935 --> 35:48.375 Hey. 35:48.695 --> 35:50.156 You're our kind of girl. 35:50.736 --> 35:53.717 Now, you're not the kind of person who causes trouble, are you? 35:56.538 --> 35:58.939 That's our rigorous interview procedure. 35:59.900 --> 36:02.261 Here's one from an anonymous texter. 36:02.321 --> 36:05.823 I'm a casting director and have had many difficult audition times. 36:06.303 --> 36:14.467 One particularly awkward audition, I recall, was when I was working with a very well-known director who asked an actor the typical question, so what have you done recently? 36:14.827 --> 36:18.248 To which the actor replied, no, you first. 36:19.889 --> 36:21.690 Needless to say, he didn't get the job. 36:21.850 --> 36:22.630 That's great. 36:24.071 --> 36:29.195 You might as well, if you kind of sense you're not going to get the job, you might as well... Because then you get a reputation. 36:29.255 --> 36:37.701 Because the reason these casting directors are so eccentric and difficult is they're not many of them and they're enormously powerful. 36:37.721 --> 36:45.447 There's four or five really famous casting directors in London who American studios hire to see actors and they're megalomaniacs. 36:45.968 --> 36:49.170 I mean, I'm never going to beget an acting job now that I've said that. 36:49.190 --> 36:51.432 They've got maybe a distorted sense of power, possibly, 36:51.892 --> 36:54.192 Yeah, I'm sure some of them are very nice and lovely. 36:54.212 --> 36:55.013 Some of them are lovely. 36:55.413 --> 36:55.973 They are brilliant. 36:56.013 --> 36:56.813 They're brilliant people. 36:56.853 --> 36:58.233 Well, the guy I had yesterday was amazing. 36:58.253 --> 36:59.193 He was amazing. 36:59.473 --> 37:00.074 He was nice. 37:00.114 --> 37:00.314 Yeah. 37:00.394 --> 37:01.974 But no, sometimes they're brutal. 37:02.034 --> 37:04.034 I mean, they hear all sorts of stories. 37:04.174 --> 37:09.235 There was a there's an actor friend I had the other day who was I came out wrong. 37:09.575 --> 37:10.735 There's an actor friend I know. 37:10.815 --> 37:11.736 I didn't have them. 37:12.756 --> 37:17.497 And they were telling a story about doing an audition where the casting director was just flicking through like a copy of Heat. 37:17.937 --> 37:18.297 Really? 37:18.357 --> 37:18.517 Yeah. 37:19.797 --> 37:22.139 That's a cattle call, you know, that's no good. 37:22.460 --> 37:30.467 Here's another one from Kate, who says an interviewer asked me, when you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? 37:30.967 --> 37:32.869 I truthfully answered, a fairy. 37:34.471 --> 37:38.394 She looked appalled, so I hastily corrected, well, queen of the fairies. 37:38.414 --> 37:43.679 She looked so shocked that I started giggling and couldn't stop, I didn't get the job. 37:43.779 --> 37:44.880 An executive fairy. 37:47.669 --> 37:52.633 in charge of a large department of a fairy task force. 37:53.093 --> 37:54.174 Here's one from Tamsin. 37:54.454 --> 37:55.775 Aggregating fairy power. 37:56.056 --> 38:04.122 I had a fit of giggles in my first job interview many years ago when the interviewer asked me if I saw myself having a quote, big job in the future. 38:07.504 --> 38:07.945 Oh dear. 38:08.125 --> 38:11.267 Lindsay Norwich, who supplies her age, 31. 38:12.268 --> 38:15.570 When I was 18, I went to an interview for the role of campsite person. 38:16.632 --> 38:22.081 I was asked what my worst characteristic was, to which I replied, sometimes I get a bit angry. 38:22.101 --> 38:25.988 I've never worked on a campsite. 38:28.359 --> 38:29.200 These are very good. 38:29.500 --> 38:32.002 It's the understatement that really sells that to me. 38:32.722 --> 38:33.863 Please keep those coming in. 38:33.903 --> 38:36.946 The text number is 64046. 38:37.046 --> 38:44.331 You can email us at Adamandjo.sixmusic at bbc.co.uk. 38:45.052 --> 38:48.835 And don't forget, of course, if you're listening to this show during the week on Listen Again or 38:50.496 --> 38:54.958 on the podcast, you can still keep your text-to-nation suggestions coming. 38:54.978 --> 38:56.418 I was grinding to a halt there. 38:56.478 --> 39:00.360 Some of the cogs just popped out of my brain and I was scrabbling around trying to refit them. 39:00.480 --> 39:02.721 I've been operating without cogs for months. 39:02.761 --> 39:03.141 Have you? 39:03.161 --> 39:04.482 Yeah, there's nothing in there. 39:05.142 --> 39:08.544 Oh, I got excited because last night I found one of them, right? 39:08.564 --> 39:08.744 Did you? 39:08.784 --> 39:11.085 Yeah, down the back of the sofa while I was watching Lost and 39:11.785 --> 39:13.627 I popped it back in and then it just popped out there. 39:13.907 --> 39:21.933 So I was saying we've got retro textination, so if you're listening during the week, you can still suggest your audition, stroke, job interview, nightmare stories. 39:22.313 --> 39:27.717 Right now, here's Jack Piñata with tonight's today, tonight's today, tonight's today. 39:27.737 --> 39:29.218 We play this every week, don't we? 39:29.258 --> 39:29.919 Without fail. 39:29.999 --> 39:31.580 We've got some special Jack Piñata here. 39:31.600 --> 39:32.821 We've played it the last three weeks. 39:32.881 --> 39:33.521 It's good though, isn't it? 39:33.622 --> 39:34.242 It's very good. 39:34.282 --> 39:36.744 I love to hear it, but let's hear it again. 39:38.465 --> 39:39.946 Very nice, very exciting. 39:39.986 --> 39:41.907 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 39:42.027 --> 39:46.949 We got a letter this week or an email from Andrew Woods, the Woodman. 39:47.530 --> 39:51.031 He says, Dear Adam and Joe, re-total wipeout. 39:51.472 --> 39:54.953 Hey, Joe Cornish, he says, Cornishes in capitals. 39:55.434 --> 39:58.075 You ungrateful little idiot, Hull. 39:58.555 --> 40:05.619 You are blessed with celebrity and all the opportunity that comes with it, and you've become so spoiled. 40:06.039 --> 40:11.361 that you would spurn the opportunity to go on the hilarious Total Wipeout television programme. 40:11.741 --> 40:13.302 This is outrageous! 40:13.782 --> 40:15.623 And it makes me furious! 40:15.643 --> 40:17.104 Is this letter from Adam Buxton? 40:17.204 --> 40:18.444 No, it's from Andy Woods. 40:18.484 --> 40:20.085 He's part of Stupid Squad. 40:21.426 --> 40:22.046 Gah! 40:22.186 --> 40:23.046 He says in the middle. 40:23.106 --> 40:25.247 I'm just doing shouting for the capitals. 40:27.148 --> 40:55.710 he says we the people have to audition for the opportunity to humiliate ourselves on the television and you turn it down i don't believe it he says all also shouting um as you may have guessed i have with my friend john recently auditioned for total wipeout and neither of us have yet been selected that's his dream to go on that program and they invited you you read that last bit with a genuine sense of dejection yeah flatness you know what i watched that show last weekend when i got home it's a good show 40:56.651 --> 40:56.911 Is it? 40:57.612 --> 40:58.713 Yes, it is a good show. 40:58.733 --> 41:00.594 I like it. 41:00.614 --> 41:02.416 What's the deal with the giant balls? 41:02.456 --> 41:08.120 Because most of the course, if you haven't seen this show, it's hosted by Hammond, the Hammond hamster. 41:08.501 --> 41:10.282 Hosted in the loosest possible sense. 41:10.322 --> 41:13.525 I mean, he's obviously done a day in front of a blue screen, hasn't he? 41:13.545 --> 41:16.167 And got paid a million cars for it. 41:16.387 --> 41:16.627 Come on. 41:16.707 --> 41:17.628 Whatever they pay him in. 41:17.708 --> 41:18.889 Hamsters actually eat grain. 41:19.409 --> 41:22.272 So he's probably been paid in an enormous quantity of grain. 41:22.292 --> 41:24.594 They've just given him a little bottle of water to sit at. 41:25.495 --> 41:28.298 Yeah, there is a wheel just out of frame. 41:30.921 --> 41:34.265 But yeah, it's a bit like it's a knockout. 41:34.425 --> 41:45.637 It's a big, impossible obstacle course, and they dress them up in big padded protective gear, and they have to negotiate their way around this thing. 41:45.677 --> 41:54.461 thinking that's one of the things that makes it less fun because if it was the 70s they could you know they could do it without a safety and a helmet. 41:54.841 --> 42:00.244 There's so much safety gear now that it slightly takes and must make it very heavy for you when you fall in the water. 42:00.304 --> 42:04.866 That's part of the thing is that physically it makes it almost impossible to negotiate any of these obstacles. 42:04.886 --> 42:07.528 You must be exhausted just by dragging your stupid helmet. 42:08.288 --> 42:29.305 life jacket around anyway so he's angry there he's absolutely furious but i was thinking like how you know the balls but there's one bit where you have to leap because you were boasting last week how good you would be at the ball well i wasn't but i was being silly but i when you see people do those balls you can tell what they're not doing the more you see i can't really talk like this they not go on can i yeah 42:29.965 --> 42:33.568 There's four enormous bouncy inflatable balls, right? 42:33.628 --> 42:39.473 And the thing you have to do is bounce, in theory, on top of each ball and then get to the other side. 42:39.493 --> 42:40.073 Can you imagine? 42:40.153 --> 42:42.095 I could probably just lie across all the balls. 42:42.115 --> 42:42.815 I'm so tall. 42:43.076 --> 42:46.618 But all that happens... You create a bridge, all the other contestants could run across me. 42:47.259 --> 42:52.563 And then we'd all win and then we could beat up the Hammond and bring the program down like Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Running Man. 42:52.623 --> 42:54.204 Can't say all that and then not go on now. 42:54.244 --> 42:56.726 Well, now I can't go on because they know I'm going to bring the show down. 42:56.786 --> 42:57.147 Right. 42:57.607 --> 42:58.187 Don't get you on. 42:58.207 --> 42:58.668 He's trouble. 42:59.268 --> 42:59.769 Exactly. 42:59.849 --> 43:02.072 But the idea that you could negotiate the balls, I don't believe it. 43:02.452 --> 43:03.213 No one can do that. 43:03.293 --> 43:05.556 No one got past the first ball on the show, I watch. 43:05.596 --> 43:06.497 A couple of guys do it. 43:06.677 --> 43:07.077 No. 43:07.117 --> 43:08.299 Yeah, guys have done it. 43:08.359 --> 43:15.427 And it's kind of fluky, you know, when they show it in slo-mo you can see that they're very lucky they just happened to have fallen in the right place. 43:15.447 --> 43:16.168 This is bounced right. 43:16.368 --> 43:25.413 Yeah, people can do the first two, but it's very hard to know quite what momentum, what velocity, what direction you'll be going by the third one. 43:25.814 --> 43:27.354 They're very unpredictable balls. 43:27.595 --> 43:28.955 They certainly are. 43:29.015 --> 43:30.076 That's what made me think of you. 43:33.038 --> 43:35.439 Well, it's a match made in heaven, isn't it? 43:37.100 --> 43:39.762 That's a way that you could describe this show as well, isn't it? 43:41.602 --> 43:42.322 Yes, it is. 43:43.163 --> 43:44.903 Right, I've got a free play coming up right now. 43:45.343 --> 43:47.064 This is the pretty thing. 43:47.084 --> 43:48.924 You know what, I'm relieved when moving on. 43:49.004 --> 43:50.185 I'm kind of, I feel off the hook. 43:50.465 --> 43:50.685 Yeah. 43:50.705 --> 43:53.286 I thought you were gonna like do more targeted bullying. 43:53.506 --> 43:54.186 No, I wasn't bullying. 43:54.206 --> 43:54.686 It's not going on. 43:55.166 --> 43:59.368 I wasn't, but I would, after watching the Prote show, I would just like to see how you dealt with the balls. 43:59.388 --> 44:04.109 Can you imagine my enormous, thin, stick-like frame spinning in the air? 44:04.169 --> 44:04.769 Yes, I can. 44:04.809 --> 44:05.790 Like the stick from 2001. 44:07.330 --> 44:13.054 very much so, splashing into the water with your head, bashing on one of the poles on your way down. 44:13.074 --> 44:13.915 You'd like that, wouldn't you? 44:13.955 --> 44:14.315 Yeah, I would. 44:14.335 --> 44:16.697 A bit of gore. 44:16.937 --> 44:20.540 Oh dear, now that was a very nasty fall. 44:21.120 --> 44:21.261 Oh! 44:21.521 --> 44:27.085 And Joe's had to retire from Celebrity Total Wipeout because he's broken his arm in five places. 44:27.285 --> 44:28.646 I'm going to be sat at home going, hey! 44:29.947 --> 44:30.888 This is entertainment. 44:30.988 --> 44:31.688 I'm joking. 44:31.708 --> 44:32.328 Obviously, I'd be upset. 44:32.348 --> 44:32.729 Are you there? 44:32.889 --> 44:33.169 Are you? 44:33.329 --> 44:33.949 I'm joking. 44:33.969 --> 44:34.229 Of course. 44:34.250 --> 44:34.870 Why do I want to see you? 44:34.890 --> 44:36.131 Where do jokes come from? 44:36.271 --> 44:38.512 I wouldn't want to see your arm broken in five places. 44:40.193 --> 44:41.394 So listen, free play time. 44:41.794 --> 44:46.036 This is from the album SF Sorrow by The Pretty Things. 44:46.917 --> 44:49.658 It's a kind of landmark in psychedelic rock. 44:50.259 --> 44:51.739 From 1968, the LP. 44:51.799 --> 44:53.540 I strongly recommend it if you're not familiar with it. 44:53.620 --> 44:56.382 And this is a track called Balloon Burning. 44:58.018 --> 44:58.619 Who was that then? 44:59.019 --> 45:04.627 That was the Pretty Things with Balloon Burning from the album SF Sorrow. 45:05.108 --> 45:06.410 That's very, very nice. 45:06.830 --> 45:09.814 That's crazy psychedelic stuff from the end of the sixties, man. 45:09.874 --> 45:11.196 Things were happening then, you know? 45:11.336 --> 45:12.538 There was a revolution going on. 45:12.818 --> 45:13.639 IN THE HEAD! 45:14.120 --> 45:14.380 Wow. 45:15.327 --> 45:17.449 I was watching Moonraker the other week. 45:17.529 --> 45:18.149 Good choice. 45:18.189 --> 45:21.072 Yeah, they were releasing all the Bond films on Blu-ray. 45:21.352 --> 45:22.212 How's that standing up? 45:22.493 --> 45:23.433 It looked amazing. 45:23.574 --> 45:23.874 Did it? 45:24.154 --> 45:24.995 I love Moonraker. 45:25.255 --> 45:29.478 That was absolutely our prime page, wasn't it? 45:29.498 --> 45:29.798 Yeah, bang on. 45:29.879 --> 45:34.022 There's a scene where James Bond, he's looking for a doctor called Dr Goodhead. 45:34.442 --> 45:35.383 Yes, I remember Dr Goodhead. 45:35.403 --> 45:37.825 He goes into a room. 45:37.845 --> 45:38.625 It's pathetic, isn't it? 45:39.446 --> 45:41.527 And he says, I'm looking for Dr Goodhead. 45:41.968 --> 45:44.869 And a beautiful woman turns around and says, I'm Dr Goodhead. 45:45.390 --> 45:46.650 He goes, a woman. 45:50.933 --> 45:53.494 Now that's big screen entertainment. 45:54.995 --> 45:57.476 They keep trying to kill him in it, right? 45:57.517 --> 45:58.877 They keep trying to kill James Bond. 45:58.897 --> 46:00.118 That's amazing, isn't it? 46:00.138 --> 46:02.159 That's like less than 30 years ago. 46:02.179 --> 46:08.563 I mean, it's brilliant, but it's turned into like the most incredible high budget episode of Garth Meringue's Dark Place or something when you watch it now. 46:08.883 --> 46:09.043 Was it 82, 83? 46:10.084 --> 46:13.929 late 70s, I think, because it was cashing in on Star Wars, wasn't it? 46:14.169 --> 46:16.412 I think it was just at the beginning of the 80s, Moonraker. 46:17.152 --> 46:17.593 I think it was 1779. 46:17.713 --> 46:19.355 Yeah, but I think. 46:20.336 --> 46:22.479 Because I think it came out around the same time as poltergeist. 46:22.499 --> 46:22.479 1980. 1980. 46:23.980 --> 46:25.222 I know Poltergeist was 82. 46:25.682 --> 46:27.444 Right, so I think it was late. 46:27.464 --> 46:28.125 In the UK. 46:28.886 --> 46:30.327 Well, some will tell us, some will look it up. 46:30.748 --> 46:33.551 But they try to kill James Bond a lot in it, right, don't they? 46:33.571 --> 46:35.893 They're all dracs, played by Michael Lonsdale. 46:35.933 --> 46:39.217 Very good performance, very grounded and serious. 46:39.537 --> 46:40.619 It is, it's a good performance. 46:40.659 --> 46:42.501 Now I'm doing an impression of him. 46:43.001 --> 46:43.261 Yeah. 46:43.361 --> 46:46.122 He's like a very, very evil man. 46:46.622 --> 46:50.163 Sounds like Jonathan Ross doing his German accent. 46:50.463 --> 46:56.764 But Drax is trying to kill Bond and I don't know, but he goes about in a very roundabout way. 46:57.664 --> 47:05.306 Like James Bond is in Venice to investigate some things and he's coming home from an investigation on a gondola. 47:05.786 --> 47:09.388 So Drax decides it would be a good idea, did we talk about this before? 47:09.908 --> 47:16.270 To fake up a funeral cortege and have a knife thrower in a coffin. 47:16.870 --> 47:22.473 And then while James Bond goes past, the knife thrower pops out and tries to throw knives at him. 47:23.593 --> 47:24.474 That's the way to get rid of him. 47:24.494 --> 47:27.496 Now, what kind of a universe would that be a logical thought? 47:27.917 --> 47:34.282 You know, the best way to get rid of someone, I find, is to, is to arrange in the laboratory. 47:35.863 --> 47:47.673 I mean, the only logical way that that would be a sensible decision would be, and in a way it does make some sense, because since the very beginnings of the Bond films, they've tried to just do normal things like shoot him and hit him. 47:48.253 --> 47:50.695 and it hasn't worked through all the early films. 47:51.195 --> 47:58.380 So the villains who probably communicate about this kind of thing have reached a mutual understanding that Bond can't be killed. 47:58.400 --> 48:01.382 I mean, some people still just try and kick him and fight him. 48:01.922 --> 48:02.703 It never works. 48:03.163 --> 48:05.825 So they have to think of more and more elaborate ruses. 48:06.565 --> 48:22.788 What if we tied some little bombs to balloons and then we somehow lured Bond into a fair and made him want to buy a little bomb balloon? 48:23.268 --> 48:24.948 Exactly, exactly. 48:25.368 --> 48:32.550 Like how would you kill if James Bond was going to see Monsters vs Aliens in 3D at the IMAX this weekend? 48:32.610 --> 48:33.130 Brilliant. 48:33.210 --> 48:34.550 How would you kill him at that? 48:35.270 --> 48:42.774 We shall put acid on the side of his 3D glasses so that the arms of the glasses eat into his brain. 48:43.574 --> 48:50.578 What about having a giant 3D spike that comes out of the screen, but it's a real spike. 48:51.278 --> 48:53.379 The thing is, that's how I'd go about that. 48:53.399 --> 48:54.440 That's good, man. 48:54.600 --> 49:02.284 Everywhere James Bond goes, people try and kill him, but he's always, like for instance with the knife throwing thing in Venice, what haven't they planned for? 49:03.024 --> 49:04.346 that he's got a hover gondola. 49:05.026 --> 49:08.711 And of course they didn't think, you know, they didn't think, well, he's got a hover gollender. 49:11.232 --> 49:13.353 And then at another stage they try and kill him. 49:13.373 --> 49:20.859 You know, he's being shown round Drax's facility and they put him in a machine that simulates G forms. 49:20.939 --> 49:25.882 And they decide to make the machine go at little speeds. 49:26.462 --> 49:27.883 No faster. 49:28.244 --> 49:30.345 And what don't they factor in there? 49:30.485 --> 49:32.787 That he's got a watch that fires a spike. 49:33.527 --> 49:34.969 The press is the off button. 49:35.009 --> 49:35.709 The kill switch. 49:35.749 --> 49:37.191 The chicken switch, right. 49:38.092 --> 49:38.812 Oh, damn it. 49:39.913 --> 49:41.215 Bond has got us again. 49:44.560 --> 49:48.021 I do think it's a shame they've gone back to basics with those films. 49:48.041 --> 49:49.321 Because now it's straightforward killing, isn't it? 49:49.341 --> 49:52.302 But they've gone back to the beginning and they're back to trying to punch and shoot him. 49:52.322 --> 49:53.002 Punching and kicking. 49:53.142 --> 49:55.322 And they, you know, they should know that that doesn't work. 49:55.342 --> 49:57.403 You've got to think much more elaborately. 49:57.743 --> 49:58.083 Yeah. 49:58.103 --> 49:59.263 To try and kill him. 49:59.683 --> 50:03.904 We shall see the clouds with tiny little knives. 50:04.704 --> 50:05.885 And then... It's got a metal umbrella. 50:06.105 --> 50:07.205 Make a damage. 50:07.225 --> 50:11.146 It just happened that when Q gave him the equipment, there just happened to be a metal umbrella. 50:11.866 --> 50:12.346 Very well. 50:14.464 --> 50:19.270 We shall tempt him to the park and get laser ducks. 50:19.350 --> 50:20.851 Laser ducks? 50:20.951 --> 50:22.674 And when he goes to feed them? 50:22.814 --> 50:24.215 Yeah but he's got mirrored bread. 50:24.416 --> 50:24.816 Damn it! 50:25.837 --> 50:29.542 And the lasers ricochet off the bread and blow up the ducks. 50:29.962 --> 50:31.384 Once again he has foiled us. 50:31.804 --> 50:32.705 We shall keep drinking. 50:34.587 --> 50:34.727 Oh. 50:36.589 --> 50:40.652 You see, in a way, those Roger Moore Bond films are more realistic than the new ones. 50:40.672 --> 50:41.412 That's true, isn't it? 50:41.452 --> 50:44.014 Yeah, because that's a more realistic approach to trying to call James Bond. 50:44.054 --> 50:44.995 Certainly more romantic. 50:45.315 --> 50:46.876 Adam and Jo here on BBC 6 Music. 50:47.076 --> 50:48.477 It is just on 10.30. 50:48.617 --> 50:49.558 It's time for the news. 50:50.345 --> 50:51.065 Feral Williams. 50:51.085 --> 50:52.266 Did you say Feral or Feral? 50:52.806 --> 50:53.506 Feral, I think. 50:53.886 --> 50:54.306 Feral. 50:54.486 --> 50:55.687 He's front in. 50:56.567 --> 50:57.707 Is that new Feral? 50:58.207 --> 50:58.587 Feral? 50:58.648 --> 50:59.348 No, that's old. 50:59.608 --> 51:00.348 Old Feral. 51:00.388 --> 51:01.008 Feral. 51:01.288 --> 51:02.989 Sorry, I'm not getting the Feral memo. 51:03.009 --> 51:09.231 This is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music on this rather grimy Saturday morning here in London. 51:09.571 --> 51:16.153 As we speak, it is a little bit on the grimy side and they're saying that the warm spat is a thing of the past. 51:16.173 --> 51:16.693 Warm spat? 51:17.213 --> 51:18.474 Is that the correct terminology? 51:18.494 --> 51:19.534 Yeah, if you heat up your spats. 51:20.095 --> 51:20.475 Exactly. 51:20.535 --> 51:21.796 These spats are very warm. 51:22.836 --> 51:25.698 But, you know, it seemed as if summer was arriving. 51:25.958 --> 51:26.619 It did, didn't it? 51:26.799 --> 51:28.580 And they're saying now it's not. 51:29.240 --> 51:29.780 Oh, dear. 51:29.800 --> 51:30.401 It isn't. 51:30.881 --> 51:35.264 But listen, you know, a few weeks ago, we had a text donation about made up jokes, jokes you've made up. 51:36.284 --> 51:39.467 And we're happy to say that listeners have kept sending them in. 51:40.287 --> 51:46.011 People maybe who are a bit behind on their podcasts, who've only just heard that, contribute via email. 51:46.112 --> 51:47.453 And that's highly acceptable. 51:47.513 --> 51:48.613 We enjoy that kind of thing. 51:49.154 --> 51:53.517 So we thought we might tell you some of the good jokes we've received. 51:53.637 --> 51:55.999 And you've got to remember, these are made up by people. 51:56.059 --> 51:59.782 That's the criteria, that you've got to have authored these jokes yourself. 52:00.422 --> 52:01.624 Yeah. 52:01.944 --> 52:04.286 And we've even done a little jingle-jungle, or I've done a jingle-jungle. 52:04.306 --> 52:04.807 See what you think. 52:04.847 --> 52:06.909 This might be the first and last time this ever gets played. 52:06.949 --> 52:09.672 It's a tricky balancing act when you do a jingle about jokes, right? 52:10.332 --> 52:11.674 But I've gone in this direction. 52:12.802 --> 52:29.684 I'm a funny person, I often make up jokes My jokes are more amusing than those of other folks When you hear my joke I think you'll find that you agree Come on, you're all invited to a made up joke party 52:31.085 --> 52:32.067 Oh, not another party. 52:32.407 --> 52:34.469 We've already got the nectar points party. 52:34.489 --> 52:35.550 It's all about the party. 52:35.851 --> 52:38.274 It's going to be quite an extraordinary party. 52:38.294 --> 52:38.734 It's up to us to make. 52:38.754 --> 52:39.375 That was very good. 52:39.395 --> 52:40.015 That was very good. 52:40.036 --> 52:44.360 And it cleverly captured the sort of sense of resignation and slight depression. 52:44.941 --> 52:45.161 What? 52:45.301 --> 52:48.285 That maybe lingers behind some of these jokes. 52:48.305 --> 52:49.066 There's a darkness. 52:49.466 --> 52:51.407 It had some comedy sound effects, though. 52:51.508 --> 52:51.748 It did. 52:51.768 --> 52:52.508 They were very funny. 52:52.548 --> 52:54.690 There's nothing funnier than a honky horn. 52:54.710 --> 52:55.470 Honky horn. 52:55.631 --> 52:56.891 Honky the horn. 52:57.192 --> 52:58.553 Here's a joke I picked out. 52:58.593 --> 53:02.576 This was written by Callum's friend, Mark Fraser. 53:02.716 --> 53:03.136 Hey. 53:03.316 --> 53:06.578 He made the joke up when he was around primary five. 53:06.618 --> 53:07.879 That's age nine or ten. 53:08.420 --> 53:08.860 Knock, knock. 53:09.781 --> 53:10.161 Who's there? 53:10.621 --> 53:11.042 I'd done up. 53:11.662 --> 53:12.483 I'd done up what? 53:13.603 --> 53:14.204 No. 53:17.006 --> 53:18.007 Adam Buxton. 53:19.514 --> 53:20.935 I'm kind of a man, are you? 53:21.035 --> 53:21.596 I'm an idiot. 53:21.976 --> 53:23.838 You are an idiot, whole. 53:25.399 --> 53:26.460 I dug up what? 53:27.000 --> 53:30.483 Well, I think the rest of the listeners could understand where that was supposed to go. 53:30.503 --> 53:30.563 God. 53:33.658 --> 53:34.678 Did you do that on purpose? 53:34.858 --> 53:35.519 No, I didn't. 53:35.799 --> 53:37.840 Do you know about knock-knock jokes? 53:38.080 --> 53:42.641 Yeah, but if you do something up, it's generally you're not doing a person up, right? 53:43.122 --> 53:45.602 You're doing a thing up, so I'm asking you, what did you do up? 53:46.223 --> 53:47.223 You tell me well about it. 53:48.884 --> 53:50.904 I'm sorry, I didn't deliberately torpedo that one. 53:53.045 --> 53:53.625 Here's one. 53:54.106 --> 53:57.187 This is from James Tricky in Brighton. 53:58.027 --> 54:01.970 He says that I've heard Pixar are doing a remake of the Star Trek film. 54:02.170 --> 54:05.293 The search for Spock, they're going to call it Finding Nimoy. 54:07.295 --> 54:10.197 Hey, hey, you over there. 54:10.517 --> 54:12.178 Hey, you rock-steady crew. 54:12.279 --> 54:12.919 Come on. 54:13.500 --> 54:15.681 Well, that's a joke for Star Trek fans. 54:15.781 --> 54:16.102 What? 54:16.342 --> 54:17.643 That's a joke for everybody. 54:17.703 --> 54:18.924 Finding Nimoy. 54:18.944 --> 54:19.665 No, that's good. 54:19.685 --> 54:20.005 That's funny. 54:20.025 --> 54:20.325 That's funny. 54:20.345 --> 54:20.665 That's funny. 54:20.725 --> 54:20.906 All right. 54:20.926 --> 54:22.066 We're going to support these jokes now. 54:22.086 --> 54:22.747 I'm going to do you another one. 54:22.767 --> 54:23.408 You're going to support this. 54:23.428 --> 54:23.948 You're going to laugh. 54:24.028 --> 54:24.809 Yeah, I'm gonna laugh. 54:24.829 --> 54:34.475 Have you seen that Jamie Oliver, this isn't the joke, but have you seen that Jamie Oliver Sainsbury's ad where they're selling, um, he's doing, he's at some kind of outdoor picnic and he's selling cakes. 54:34.495 --> 54:35.215 I haven't seen this one. 54:35.436 --> 54:35.896 It's good. 54:36.096 --> 54:41.320 And he's giving people buns and a woman who he gives a bun to goes, Oh Jamie, nice buns. 54:41.840 --> 54:48.304 And it has a shot of his bottom and he turns around and goes, and then there's a pause in the laugh. 54:48.384 --> 54:52.207 And then he laughs more as if he's found a hidden nuance to the joke. 54:52.527 --> 54:53.147 Nice buns. 54:57.312 --> 54:57.913 And it ends. 54:58.313 --> 54:58.874 Watch out for it. 54:58.894 --> 55:00.476 It's a really strange laugh. 55:00.516 --> 55:04.280 We were talking about fake laughs before forcing yourself to laugh at a joke. 55:04.741 --> 55:05.562 Jamie Oliver laughed. 55:05.602 --> 55:09.867 Well I've got another jingle for the jokes later on with a strange laugh on the top of it. 55:09.967 --> 55:10.668 Might play it later. 55:10.728 --> 55:11.629 Here's another joke then. 55:12.890 --> 55:32.991 here we go hang on do you want to hear one in the time oh no here we go here we go this is from uh phil suffield uh here's an original joke made up by my girlfriend susan that you might enjoy one time we were just settling down to eat dinner tuna steaks and rice with veggies when a pee rolled off my plate and onto the floor happens a lot 55:33.431 --> 55:46.845 i can't believe you're reading this one i like this one i looked at her she looked at me she said it's an escapee that's funny because that happens all the time in households and people can use that all the time when a pee goes off you go that's an escapee 55:56.034 --> 55:58.356 That is funny, but you see, you've put too much pressure on it. 55:59.136 --> 56:03.319 I'm sure at home, between a couple, that's the kind of thing that keeps a marriage alive. 56:03.379 --> 56:03.699 Yeah. 56:04.040 --> 56:04.580 That's funny. 56:04.660 --> 56:05.861 I hadn't thought of that before. 56:05.981 --> 56:06.621 No, that is funny. 56:06.641 --> 56:07.682 It made me chuckle when I read it. 56:07.702 --> 56:09.804 All right, how about this one? 56:10.024 --> 56:11.204 Didn't make you chuckle when I read it. 56:11.305 --> 56:11.885 No, it did. 56:11.945 --> 56:13.526 It made me chuckle that you were reading it. 56:13.546 --> 56:15.327 Well, it's different, isn't it? 56:16.508 --> 56:18.789 How about this from Jeff in Dublin. 56:19.269 --> 56:25.172 I hear there's a new HBO gritty US drama set in Baltimore about a radio station. 56:25.352 --> 56:26.412 Not this one. 56:28.974 --> 56:31.935 This is the problem is that we've both read all the emails. 56:32.475 --> 56:37.117 So I know what these are going to be before he reads it. 56:37.377 --> 56:37.838 Go on then. 56:39.838 --> 56:42.760 We need to record that Jamie Oliver laugh and use it as a jungle. 56:43.260 --> 56:43.780 Yeah, okay. 56:44.421 --> 56:52.665 I hear there's a new HBO gritty US drama set in Baltimore about a radio station where the characters turn out to be not what you expect. 56:53.045 --> 56:54.546 It's called The Wireless. 56:55.206 --> 56:57.327 Yeah, here's another one. 56:57.347 --> 56:58.087 Yeah, that's quite good. 56:58.107 --> 56:59.308 Let's go one for wire fans. 56:59.969 --> 57:01.270 Yeah, and radio fans. 57:03.792 --> 57:04.112 Go on then. 57:04.312 --> 57:04.892 No, I can't. 57:04.912 --> 57:06.173 I can't read it out. 57:06.433 --> 57:06.974 Well, you know what? 57:07.014 --> 57:11.177 We got an email from Will Sargent, who's the guitar player in Echo and the Bunny Man. 57:11.277 --> 57:11.577 Oh, yeah. 57:12.438 --> 57:15.199 And that is pretty much enough for me. 57:15.280 --> 57:15.920 You know what I mean? 57:16.040 --> 57:17.441 That was very exciting for me. 57:18.422 --> 57:20.163 He listens to the show, which is extraordinary. 57:20.303 --> 57:28.549 And he says that he and the band have been making up jokes for years on tour of a similar kind. 57:29.489 --> 57:31.873 And he says they usually end with a famous name. 57:31.933 --> 57:32.694 Here's a few examples. 57:32.714 --> 57:34.556 He sent a very long list, didn't he? 57:34.817 --> 57:35.497 Quite a long list. 57:35.758 --> 57:37.460 Most of which I can't read out because they're too dirty. 57:38.842 --> 57:41.185 For example, he's got very small feet. 57:41.525 --> 57:42.166 Who's that then? 57:42.607 --> 57:43.889 Dave Clark's Five. 57:45.071 --> 57:46.471 Now, I didn't quite understand that. 57:46.491 --> 57:48.292 Well, there's a band called the Dave Clark Five, right? 57:48.312 --> 57:49.832 Yes, and Clark's Shoes. 57:49.912 --> 57:51.993 Yeah, and Size 5 would be very small. 57:52.013 --> 57:53.593 Size 5. 57:54.133 --> 57:55.534 Dave Clark's Five. 57:56.714 --> 57:58.514 Yeah? 57:58.534 --> 57:58.694 Yeah. 57:58.854 --> 58:00.835 A posture of yes is in the wrong place. 58:01.895 --> 58:05.536 I can't read any of the other ones out because they're too rude, but I'm going to see if I can get away with this one. 58:06.056 --> 58:07.496 He's got constipation, you know. 58:07.756 --> 58:08.017 Who? 58:08.657 --> 58:09.557 William Shatner. 58:10.970 --> 58:15.116 You know, when you're in a band, you spend a lot of time on a bus. 58:15.376 --> 58:20.283 He says, it works best if you shake your head and look disappointed for the nah bit of shatna. 58:20.303 --> 58:20.543 Yeah. 58:20.863 --> 58:23.166 Shatna. 58:23.407 --> 58:24.348 Well, they gave me a chuckle. 58:24.368 --> 58:25.570 Thanks very much indeed, Will. 58:26.491 --> 58:27.192 Have you got any more there? 58:27.552 --> 58:29.774 Yeah, I do, but I'm not going to read them out. 58:29.894 --> 58:30.394 Oh, really? 58:30.495 --> 58:32.856 Yeah, the current climate isn't suitable. 58:32.917 --> 58:34.638 No, I've suddenly thought twice. 58:34.858 --> 58:36.740 What about the monkeys one? 58:36.760 --> 58:37.280 Did you like that? 58:37.580 --> 58:38.181 And what was that one? 58:38.241 --> 58:43.285 I think maybe I've heard... I don't know if this guy made these up, but they made me chuckle. 58:43.325 --> 58:44.146 This is from Chris. 58:44.166 --> 58:45.987 He says, I just finished listening to the podcast. 58:46.027 --> 58:53.953 If you fancy doing some more made up jokes, then here's a few that my mate Darren Ward made up that never failed to make me smile. 58:54.234 --> 58:56.616 I'm not sure if Darren Ward did make these up, but they're quite good. 58:57.376 --> 58:58.917 Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? 58:58.937 --> 59:00.237 Because it was dead. 59:01.097 --> 59:02.898 Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? 59:02.918 --> 59:04.878 Because he was holding on to the first monkey. 59:05.539 --> 59:07.319 Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? 59:07.739 --> 59:08.620 He thought it was a game. 59:08.640 --> 59:15.802 The look of satisfaction on your face is funnier than that. 59:17.042 --> 59:22.464 I was thinking about like children listening to it and I thought if I was a child I would think that was funny. 59:22.504 --> 59:25.165 Yeah, it's just like random non-sequiturs, right? 59:25.825 --> 59:27.286 Is that what's happening there? 59:27.306 --> 59:27.346 No. 59:27.726 --> 59:27.966 No. 59:28.167 --> 59:28.467 No. 59:28.607 --> 59:29.768 I shouldn't think about it, should I? 59:29.788 --> 59:30.148 That's right. 59:30.188 --> 59:32.469 No, it's way too sophisticated for someone like you. 59:32.489 --> 59:33.290 I don't understand it. 59:33.590 --> 59:35.151 Anyway, thanks very much for those jokes. 59:35.391 --> 59:38.893 Maybe they weren't the best jokes, but they were good nevertheless. 59:38.913 --> 59:39.634 Well, they're authored. 59:39.734 --> 59:41.455 So, you know, they're authored by the listeners. 59:41.495 --> 59:43.536 So they have a sort of homemade charm. 59:43.756 --> 59:46.498 Hey, we're going to play this insane super furry animals track. 59:46.578 --> 59:48.020 Yeah, this is this from their new album? 59:48.040 --> 59:50.242 Yeah, this is inaugural trams. 59:50.383 --> 59:53.646 It seems to be a song about integrated public transport. 59:54.548 --> 59:59.914 And it is it's I mean, it's you got to love a world where something this nutty is on the radio. 01:00:00.074 --> 01:00:01.075 This is super furry animals. 01:00:01.676 --> 01:00:03.097 Back for luscious live in the hub. 01:00:03.537 --> 01:00:03.857 Wow. 01:00:04.217 --> 01:00:05.678 We should hang around and be creepy with her. 01:00:05.698 --> 01:00:06.438 Do you think? 01:00:06.598 --> 01:00:06.919 Yeah. 01:00:06.939 --> 01:00:08.099 Be inappropriately flirty. 01:00:08.139 --> 01:00:08.779 She would love it. 01:00:08.940 --> 01:00:09.660 She'd love that. 01:00:10.060 --> 01:00:15.803 She'd love a couple of... Nothing a beautiful young woman likes more than a weird little aged man. 01:00:18.044 --> 01:00:21.626 Looking at her slungingly and making slightly dirt. 01:00:21.666 --> 01:00:23.366 A lovely Natasha card. 01:00:23.386 --> 01:00:23.707 Hello. 01:00:23.987 --> 01:00:25.367 You've got lovely knees. 01:00:25.628 --> 01:00:26.568 Knees. 01:00:26.788 --> 01:00:27.348 Different from mine. 01:00:27.368 --> 01:00:28.089 Let's compare them. 01:00:28.769 --> 01:00:31.051 Oh, look at your glitter on your eyes. 01:00:31.071 --> 01:00:32.553 Ooh, that's... Did I say something else then? 01:00:32.613 --> 01:00:33.854 I got quite freaked out. 01:00:36.556 --> 01:00:39.459 All right, let's do some text-a-nation. 01:00:39.479 --> 01:00:41.041 Let's play a text-a-nation jingle. 01:00:43.243 --> 01:00:44.064 Text-a-nation. 01:00:44.104 --> 01:00:45.185 Text, text, text. 01:00:45.285 --> 01:00:46.045 Text-a-nation. 01:00:46.085 --> 01:00:47.046 What if I don't want to? 01:00:47.287 --> 01:00:47.927 Text-a-nation. 01:00:47.947 --> 01:00:48.748 It doesn't matter. 01:00:48.768 --> 01:00:48.868 Text. 01:00:51.526 --> 01:00:53.388 Oh dear, just having a little bit of a giggle. 01:00:54.228 --> 01:00:59.372 Text the nation this week, listeners, is all about auditions or job interviews. 01:00:59.772 --> 01:01:05.176 When you've been put on the spot, you have to perform, sell yourself, do your thing, and it's all gone horribly wrong. 01:01:05.196 --> 01:01:08.679 We were inspired by some disastrous audition stories from Adam there. 01:01:08.879 --> 01:01:10.260 From my audition locker. 01:01:11.000 --> 01:01:12.801 Yep, those days are behind me. 01:01:12.881 --> 01:01:14.943 I'm gonna nail pretty much every audition I get from now on. 01:01:14.983 --> 01:01:17.224 You should be in one of those Judd Apatow films. 01:01:17.384 --> 01:01:18.144 I should do, should I? 01:01:18.164 --> 01:01:22.567 You know if Russell Brand can be in, you know, what's his name? 01:01:22.607 --> 01:01:23.808 Adam Sandler's films? 01:01:23.888 --> 01:01:24.308 Yes. 01:01:24.608 --> 01:01:26.329 Well, he's better looking though, that's the problem. 01:01:26.349 --> 01:01:31.752 Yeah, but still, when I watch, I haven't seen that film, but when I watch the trailer, it feels like a bit of an imposition. 01:01:31.973 --> 01:01:32.213 Yeah. 01:01:32.233 --> 01:01:33.634 So what are you doing in that? 01:01:34.534 --> 01:01:35.375 That's true, isn't it? 01:01:35.435 --> 01:01:37.976 Getting above his station, but then how would people feel if I popped up? 01:01:38.176 --> 01:01:39.297 They'd feel even more annoyed. 01:01:39.777 --> 01:01:42.739 Well, they'd known you'd, you know, work to get there. 01:01:42.979 --> 01:01:43.460 That's true. 01:01:43.780 --> 01:01:48.363 I've, you know, I've put, I've paid my dues and I've also got a huge amount of- But it would be hard to suspend disbelief. 01:01:48.583 --> 01:01:49.083 You reckon? 01:01:49.123 --> 01:01:49.964 Oh, that's Dr Buckles. 01:01:50.004 --> 01:01:51.305 No, but that's for listening to this programme. 01:01:51.325 --> 01:01:54.387 What's he doing pretending to be a whatever you're pretending to be? 01:01:55.447 --> 01:01:55.688 Yeah. 01:01:56.548 --> 01:01:56.908 You think? 01:01:57.188 --> 01:01:58.709 Well, that's a major problem then, isn't it? 01:01:59.449 --> 01:02:01.189 That's a major impediment to my acting career. 01:02:01.209 --> 01:02:04.010 You're right for Americans, which is a much bigger audience. 01:02:04.030 --> 01:02:05.591 They wouldn't know who you were, you'd be mysterious. 01:02:06.011 --> 01:02:07.451 Who's that amazing guy? 01:02:07.511 --> 01:02:07.811 Yeah. 01:02:08.451 --> 01:02:09.412 He's brilliant. 01:02:09.592 --> 01:02:12.593 Wow, if only he did some kind of radio show on a digital station. 01:02:12.613 --> 01:02:13.853 If only he knew how to act. 01:02:16.735 --> 01:02:21.059 Here is one from an anonymous text. 01:02:21.099 --> 01:02:25.482 My friend Paul went to a job interview and on his way he walked into the overhanging branch of a tree. 01:02:26.043 --> 01:02:28.665 He brushed his head off and carried on to the interview. 01:02:29.326 --> 01:02:31.167 At first everything was going well in the interview. 01:02:31.447 --> 01:02:34.150 He was answering the questions and felt he had a rapport with the lady. 01:02:34.670 --> 01:02:36.793 but then something appeared in front of his eyes. 01:02:37.253 --> 01:02:40.197 It was a baby spider that had just hatched in his hair. 01:02:40.937 --> 01:02:47.145 He carried on answering questions while trying to coolly brush the spider away with his hand, praying that the interview hadn't seen it. 01:02:47.746 --> 01:02:53.352 As the interview continued, more and more spiders hatched in his hair and abseiled down the front of his face. 01:02:54.013 --> 01:02:58.697 He managed somehow to get through the interview, but couldn't tell from her expression if she had noticed. 01:02:59.077 --> 01:03:05.382 As they were so tiny, it was possible she hadn't seen them and had just thought he had a nervous habit of running his hand through his hair. 01:03:05.862 --> 01:03:11.306 He stood up to shake her hand and decided to say, sorry to be the bringer of the spiders. 01:03:12.127 --> 01:03:13.968 He never heard back from the company! 01:03:16.050 --> 01:03:16.630 Wow. 01:03:16.650 --> 01:03:19.211 Of course the other thing is that he was just imagining them. 01:03:19.611 --> 01:03:20.972 He'd eaten something weird, you know? 01:03:21.252 --> 01:03:21.612 Maybe. 01:03:21.692 --> 01:03:23.993 And he was going into a special place in his mind. 01:03:24.653 --> 01:03:26.413 Sorry to be the bringer of the spiders. 01:03:26.433 --> 01:03:28.154 Sorry to be the bringer of the spiders. 01:03:28.334 --> 01:03:29.755 That's something some sort of- Thanks very much. 01:03:31.395 --> 01:03:33.916 That's the sort of thing an agent of Satan might say. 01:03:33.936 --> 01:03:34.396 Yeah, exactly. 01:03:34.516 --> 01:03:36.117 If he was preparing for the apocalypse. 01:03:36.137 --> 01:03:40.138 Well keep your CV on fire and if anything comes up we'll give you a call. 01:03:41.078 --> 01:03:48.543 I like the spider guy, he had a sense of something. 01:03:50.104 --> 01:03:51.485 I can see the moon in your face. 01:03:53.066 --> 01:03:53.906 Oh, sorry. 01:03:55.567 --> 01:03:56.948 Here's one from David Carrot. 01:03:57.528 --> 01:03:58.409 Good morning Chaps. 01:03:59.009 --> 01:04:02.111 I once applied to study geography at Oxford University. 01:04:02.631 --> 01:04:06.514 On my application form I had described a passion for current affairs. 01:04:07.074 --> 01:04:11.496 In the interview, the tutor produced a map, pointed to a country, asked me to identify it. 01:04:11.876 --> 01:04:14.477 Baffled, I responded, um, China. 01:04:15.177 --> 01:04:15.817 It was Iraq. 01:04:16.617 --> 01:04:17.698 He looked furious. 01:04:18.338 --> 01:04:20.919 I received a plight rejection letter on Christmas Eve. 01:04:21.179 --> 01:04:21.879 Fun times. 01:04:22.579 --> 01:04:23.560 Taylor Carrot. 01:04:26.101 --> 01:04:27.121 Here's one from Colette. 01:04:28.021 --> 01:04:32.764 I went for a job interview with Her Majesty's... China's a big one, isn't it? 01:04:32.844 --> 01:04:33.705 That's an easy one. 01:04:33.725 --> 01:04:35.206 Yeah, it's quite conspicuous. 01:04:36.507 --> 01:04:39.288 I went for a job with Her Majesty's customs a few years ago. 01:04:39.749 --> 01:04:42.811 At the end of the interview, I was asked why I thought I'd be good at the job. 01:04:42.911 --> 01:04:47.594 I went completely blank and replied, do not really just think I would be. 01:04:48.254 --> 01:04:49.775 Like looking through people's bags. 01:04:51.116 --> 01:04:53.478 Colette doesn't tell us whether she got it, probably did. 01:04:53.498 --> 01:04:55.699 Yeah, exactly. 01:04:56.160 --> 01:04:57.881 I would say they would be very impressed with that. 01:04:58.281 --> 01:04:59.522 Matt Garrell in London. 01:04:59.642 --> 01:05:03.364 I did an advert casting for a popular High Street bank not so very long ago. 01:05:03.665 --> 01:05:08.248 I had to simulate being on a waterslide going through San Paolo. 01:05:08.568 --> 01:05:09.048 Whoa. 01:05:09.068 --> 01:05:10.129 You've seen that advert, haven't you? 01:05:10.149 --> 01:05:10.449 Yes, I have. 01:05:10.489 --> 01:05:11.210 Yeah, so have I. 01:05:11.730 --> 01:05:24.719 Unfortunately, the powers of my acting alone were insufficient, and what they really wanted me to do to get a true representation of what it looked like would be to strip down to my pants and be pushed around the room on a swivelly office chair by the director. 01:05:25.359 --> 01:05:26.440 The shade. 01:05:26.760 --> 01:05:28.681 Just pieces of meat is all they are. 01:05:28.841 --> 01:05:29.562 That's weird. 01:05:29.622 --> 01:05:30.482 That's going very far. 01:05:30.522 --> 01:05:33.224 I guess you'd need to see how they looked in the undies. 01:05:33.564 --> 01:05:34.185 That's the thing. 01:05:34.545 --> 01:05:46.349 I mean, you know, half the time you've got in your head all these ideas about delivering a wonderful performance and communicating something special with your acting skills, all they want half the time, more than half the time, is just the look, isn't it? 01:05:46.389 --> 01:05:47.670 Someone the right height and stuff. 01:05:47.730 --> 01:05:48.130 Exactly. 01:05:48.170 --> 01:05:48.650 Looks right. 01:05:49.750 --> 01:05:53.392 Finally, here's one from A. Sandham. 01:05:54.252 --> 01:06:02.899 Dear Adam and Joe, after completing a particularly long and harrowing interview that kept wandering off track, the relief at reaching the end was such that I stood up and blurted out, that was weird, wasn't it? 01:06:02.919 --> 01:06:06.601 There was a long moment, they quickly ushered me out. 01:06:06.842 --> 01:06:08.042 I never heard from them again. 01:06:08.062 --> 01:06:09.464 You almost made it. 01:06:09.484 --> 01:06:11.805 You see, we hire all these people on the spot. 01:06:12.566 --> 01:06:13.086 Don't you think? 01:06:13.106 --> 01:06:14.647 You can come and work for us at the castle. 01:06:14.988 --> 01:06:15.628 I don't say that. 01:06:15.728 --> 01:06:16.489 No, I mean you can't. 01:06:17.349 --> 01:06:19.230 There's no question what you meant to say, that's right. 01:06:19.250 --> 01:06:22.272 There's no way that you're going to come any way to the castle. 01:06:22.312 --> 01:06:22.992 Now, what's this record? 01:06:23.012 --> 01:06:24.373 Delphic with Counterpoint. 01:06:25.653 --> 01:06:26.874 Yeah, I've never heard this before. 01:06:26.914 --> 01:06:28.455 Is this a new addition to the playlist, Ben? 01:06:28.675 --> 01:06:29.355 Let's just play it. 01:06:29.375 --> 01:06:30.356 We'll check our note. 01:06:30.496 --> 01:06:31.736 Oh, my God, I've got it wrong. 01:06:31.756 --> 01:06:32.296 I'm so sorry. 01:06:32.336 --> 01:06:33.497 It's not Delphic with Counterpoint. 01:06:33.517 --> 01:06:34.377 Oh, it's your free play. 01:06:34.397 --> 01:06:35.018 It's my free play. 01:06:35.058 --> 01:06:37.539 This is Corner Shop with Topknot. 01:06:39.473 --> 01:06:41.917 of the big, pretty castle. 01:06:42.017 --> 01:06:45.343 It is the top of the hour pool, that's wonderful. 01:06:45.703 --> 01:06:48.008 I got so bored with the last hour and 01:06:53.499 --> 01:06:57.822 That's Camera Obscura with a track about the French Navy. 01:06:58.242 --> 01:06:59.523 I love Camera Obscuras. 01:06:59.623 --> 01:07:09.910 It's a Camera Obscura, one of those dark rooms you go into and there's a big white table and the outside world is projected via some kind of natural light refraction phenomenon. 01:07:09.950 --> 01:07:11.491 It's like a giant pinhole camera. 01:07:11.511 --> 01:07:12.331 There's one in Greenwich. 01:07:12.952 --> 01:07:13.472 It's awesome. 01:07:13.692 --> 01:07:14.994 And there's one in Bristol as well? 01:07:15.034 --> 01:07:16.836 Yeah, that's right, near the Suspension Bridge. 01:07:16.876 --> 01:07:17.636 Yeah, they're lovely. 01:07:18.077 --> 01:07:20.620 It's a very strange experience to go into one of them, isn't it? 01:07:20.640 --> 01:07:21.140 Yeah, they're wicked. 01:07:21.160 --> 01:07:24.724 And it's so terrific they've got together and formed a band now, all the camera obscuras. 01:07:25.205 --> 01:07:25.846 That's right. 01:07:25.926 --> 01:07:27.007 I thought they were buildings. 01:07:27.387 --> 01:07:28.208 Who knew? 01:07:28.348 --> 01:07:30.310 Who knew they could actually play guitar and tour? 01:07:30.951 --> 01:07:36.999 Yeah, and, moreover, that they were so interested in the French navy that they would write a song about it. 01:07:37.019 --> 01:07:39.061 The world's a wonderful phantasmagoria. 01:07:39.442 --> 01:07:41.164 It is, absolutely. 01:07:41.184 --> 01:07:43.447 Do you like people who pronounce that word phantasmagoria? 01:07:44.027 --> 01:07:47.251 No, but I do love Mr. Majoriums. 01:07:48.032 --> 01:07:49.753 Phantasmochorium. 01:07:49.813 --> 01:07:50.513 Wonder Emporium. 01:07:50.533 --> 01:07:51.314 Wonder Emporium. 01:07:51.354 --> 01:07:52.754 Yeah, that's one of my favourite shops. 01:07:52.834 --> 01:07:56.416 It's under threat actually of closure and it's going to be rebranded. 01:07:57.176 --> 01:07:57.477 Is it? 01:07:57.737 --> 01:08:00.218 Yeah, as Johnny Magic's House of Tragic. 01:08:00.458 --> 01:08:00.798 Really? 01:08:01.038 --> 01:08:01.639 No, I don't know. 01:08:02.559 --> 01:08:03.880 Strange thing to say. 01:08:04.700 --> 01:08:05.901 I thought I was riffing there. 01:08:06.181 --> 01:08:06.461 Yeah. 01:08:07.321 --> 01:08:08.482 Like, you know, like Xavi. 01:08:09.042 --> 01:08:09.603 Right, yeah. 01:08:09.883 --> 01:08:10.483 No, that's good. 01:08:10.503 --> 01:08:10.823 Rebranding. 01:08:10.843 --> 01:08:11.724 No, it's good. 01:08:11.784 --> 01:08:12.345 Credit crunch. 01:08:12.465 --> 01:08:14.346 I think what I'll do is I'll listen to it again. 01:08:14.646 --> 01:08:15.827 On the podcast. 01:08:15.887 --> 01:08:17.068 And then get a little chuckle. 01:08:17.308 --> 01:08:17.789 Yeah, exactly. 01:08:17.809 --> 01:08:25.855 Hey, speaking of which, you know, by the time the podcast for this show comes out, you will be able to download or just have a look at 01:08:26.195 --> 01:08:29.436 on my YouTube site, which we'll link to on the BBC's website. 01:08:29.936 --> 01:08:32.437 A video of me enjoying the podcast in my shed. 01:08:33.397 --> 01:08:33.897 Excellent. 01:08:34.377 --> 01:08:36.218 Because we talked about that on the podcast. 01:08:36.298 --> 01:08:36.858 How long is it? 01:08:36.958 --> 01:08:37.798 A week or so back. 01:08:37.938 --> 01:08:38.799 How long do you think I should make it? 01:08:38.819 --> 01:08:39.499 I haven't shot it yet. 01:08:39.639 --> 01:08:42.440 I think you should make it the entire duration of the podcast. 01:08:42.720 --> 01:08:44.820 And I think you should put the podcast audio over it. 01:08:44.920 --> 01:08:53.443 So for one week only, listeners can enjoy the whole podcast accompanied by a night vision video of you in a shed wearing what? 01:08:54.622 --> 01:08:57.710 Wearing like a sort of Japanese nightgown. 01:08:57.870 --> 01:09:03.945 Wearing a Japanese nightgown, conducting with one hand, sipping wine with the other and laughing at yourself. 01:09:05.322 --> 01:09:10.083 Well, I won't be able to put the audio from the podcast, this week's podcast on it yet, because it hasn't been done. 01:09:10.143 --> 01:09:10.423 Right. 01:09:10.803 --> 01:09:12.303 So it'll have to be last week's podcast. 01:09:12.323 --> 01:09:12.864 That's true. 01:09:12.964 --> 01:09:18.025 Unless they send you the podcast, you know, like an advanced copy, because it needs to be, it's finished. 01:09:18.065 --> 01:09:20.445 Then it's someone listens, checks it for compliance. 01:09:20.485 --> 01:09:24.866 You can send me one bit of the podcast, Ben, and then I'll do a video of myself listening to that and appreciating it. 01:09:24.886 --> 01:09:26.286 I'll send you this bit. 01:09:27.346 --> 01:09:27.807 Wow. 01:09:28.007 --> 01:09:29.627 That would be some kind of implosion. 01:09:29.667 --> 01:09:30.787 It'd be like the Hadron Collider. 01:09:30.807 --> 01:09:32.127 Charlie Kaufman world. 01:09:33.128 --> 01:09:34.408 Well, that's something to look forward to. 01:09:34.588 --> 01:09:34.848 Okay. 01:09:35.748 --> 01:09:38.889 Now, I think it's been a while since we had any Steven news on the programme. 01:09:39.109 --> 01:09:40.069 It is, some Stevenage. 01:09:40.089 --> 01:09:44.830 Well, we've got kind of a jingle here by way of an introduction to some Steven news. 01:09:46.490 --> 01:09:46.930 Steven! 01:09:49.791 --> 01:09:50.191 Wow. 01:09:50.431 --> 01:09:53.752 That's the audience of a Radio 4...is it Radio 4? 01:09:53.792 --> 01:09:56.092 No, it's Radio 2 pilot that I did the other day. 01:09:56.172 --> 01:10:04.034 A new film quiz with John Holmes that he's devised and the audience there for that recording were kind enough to indulge a little bit of Stevenage. 01:10:04.774 --> 01:10:11.298 So, let me tell you that we've had a message here, just a very brief explanation if you don't know what Steven is all about. 01:10:11.378 --> 01:10:18.042 It's a way for people who listen to this show to communicate with strangers and find out if they are also listeners to the show. 01:10:18.102 --> 01:10:20.104 All you have to do is stand in a public place and go, Steven! 01:10:20.204 --> 01:10:23.506 And if anyone says, just coming, that means that they probably listen to this programme. 01:10:24.106 --> 01:10:27.708 So, we got a message here. 01:10:27.748 --> 01:10:28.489 Phil, Joe, Phil, Joe, Phil. 01:10:28.806 --> 01:10:32.187 Yeah, it's an email we got from a listener who I encountered in the street. 01:10:32.507 --> 01:10:33.188 Oh, yes, here we go. 01:10:33.268 --> 01:10:39.810 And I've got a bad record of bad responses to... You leave a lot of people hanging. 01:10:39.830 --> 01:10:40.390 I do. 01:10:40.650 --> 01:10:42.331 Rob Farris is the guy's name. 01:10:42.551 --> 01:10:44.152 Dear Adam, yes, that's right. 01:10:44.352 --> 01:10:46.833 Adam, note, I am not talking to Joe. 01:10:47.213 --> 01:10:50.414 I've just been party to a crime against Stephening. 01:10:50.874 --> 01:11:00.319 I exited my building for lunch on Monday the 30th of March at approximately 1.30pm and who should I see meandering gently along the pavement towards me but Mr. Joe Cornish. 01:11:00.819 --> 01:11:02.780 My goodness, I thought, what an opportunity. 01:11:03.120 --> 01:11:04.761 A chance for a real-life Stephen. 01:11:05.241 --> 01:11:09.864 I paused and checked again that it was definitely him in front of me, then raised a hand and proclaimed, Stephen! 01:11:10.851 --> 01:11:16.375 He caught my eye and with the slightest smile replied, hey, without breaking step. 01:11:16.756 --> 01:11:18.177 It was more of a hey. 01:11:18.197 --> 01:11:24.121 Hey, without breaking step, hands firmly planted in his big smug, comfy jacket. 01:11:25.362 --> 01:11:26.923 He's angry at my jacket. 01:11:26.963 --> 01:11:27.964 He's absolutely furious. 01:11:28.164 --> 01:11:31.327 Hey, he says, hey, what sort of response is that? 01:11:31.667 --> 01:11:40.451 I feel not only as a podcaster and a regular listener, but more importantly, a license payer, that I am owed a Just Coming by Joe. 01:11:40.551 --> 01:11:45.093 I've provided my contact details below and look forward to receiving the appropriate response. 01:11:45.353 --> 01:11:47.494 Yours, left hanging, Rob Farris. 01:11:48.015 --> 01:11:52.517 So you have an opportunity now to deal with the situation. 01:11:52.537 --> 01:11:56.438 Well, I'll call him up during the next record on his mobile and do a Just Coming. 01:11:56.679 --> 01:11:56.939 Really? 01:11:56.959 --> 01:11:57.239 Yeah. 01:11:58.850 --> 01:12:00.171 But I don't want to set any precedent. 01:12:00.231 --> 01:12:04.914 I mean, I thought this was a thing that listeners did amongst themselves. 01:12:05.154 --> 01:12:07.075 I thought we didn't have to... Were exempt. 01:12:07.335 --> 01:12:08.436 I thought we were exempt. 01:12:08.676 --> 01:12:11.137 Because it's obvious we know about the show because we're on it. 01:12:11.377 --> 01:12:12.258 I was doing a thing. 01:12:12.358 --> 01:12:13.819 I was probably thinking about things. 01:12:13.899 --> 01:12:14.159 Sure. 01:12:14.239 --> 01:12:16.740 I'd finished a thing and I was mulling it over in my head. 01:12:16.760 --> 01:12:17.701 Thinking of a new dialogue. 01:12:17.941 --> 01:12:19.622 Yeah, some amazing thing. 01:12:20.803 --> 01:12:27.148 And I just, you know, I feel you, Adam Buxton, you're better at this than me, but you have more of a live presence in the world. 01:12:27.208 --> 01:12:28.909 You do live gigs and stuff. 01:12:29.190 --> 01:12:29.470 Yeah. 01:12:29.590 --> 01:12:31.711 You meet our audience at the coal face. 01:12:32.072 --> 01:12:33.132 I'm more hermit-like. 01:12:33.413 --> 01:12:33.673 Right. 01:12:33.773 --> 01:12:34.894 And socially awkward. 01:12:34.914 --> 01:12:35.454 Are you? 01:12:35.694 --> 01:12:36.195 And yeah. 01:12:37.476 --> 01:12:38.476 So I'm not as good. 01:12:38.496 --> 01:12:41.018 You know, I don't really perform much. 01:12:41.259 --> 01:12:42.299 Come on. 01:12:42.760 --> 01:12:44.001 You denied the man. 01:12:44.841 --> 01:12:45.462 Just coming. 01:12:46.002 --> 01:12:46.282 I did. 01:12:46.302 --> 01:12:47.102 But you're going to fix it then, right? 01:12:47.122 --> 01:12:48.023 I'm going to fix it, yeah. 01:12:48.563 --> 01:12:54.045 But, you know, in future, I mean, I don't want to just go around in the world in a state of mortal terror. 01:12:54.905 --> 01:12:55.926 It's starting to happen. 01:12:56.486 --> 01:12:59.527 That comedy gig I went to... It's hardly mortal terror. 01:12:59.547 --> 01:13:00.607 It's just people... It is for me. 01:13:00.667 --> 01:13:04.709 It's basically people just sort of saying hello, and all you have to do is say hello back, but in a different language. 01:13:04.729 --> 01:13:06.309 Yeah, but no, you have to go, just coming! 01:13:08.510 --> 01:13:11.933 And it just doesn't come as naturally as, hello, hey, how are you doing? 01:13:12.254 --> 01:13:19.381 I mean, another thing we could establish is that if a listener sees one of us in the street, they could go, hello. 01:13:20.220 --> 01:13:20.480 Right. 01:13:20.520 --> 01:13:22.761 And I could say, like, this could be the thing, it could be a thing. 01:13:23.041 --> 01:13:23.822 And I'd say, hi! 01:13:23.842 --> 01:13:25.002 Ah, okay. 01:13:25.102 --> 01:13:25.383 Yeah? 01:13:25.643 --> 01:13:26.123 How about that? 01:13:26.343 --> 01:13:26.923 Yeah, I like it. 01:13:27.184 --> 01:13:27.384 Yeah? 01:13:27.484 --> 01:13:30.805 Well, here's another chap who thinks that maybe the whole Stephen thing is burning out anyway. 01:13:31.205 --> 01:13:32.126 Dave in Cambridge. 01:13:32.446 --> 01:13:38.489 He says, I write this with my ears still ringing from a fantastic Dananananacroid gig I saw last night in Cambridge. 01:13:38.509 --> 01:13:40.190 Now, they're supposed to be good if we ever played them. 01:13:40.430 --> 01:13:43.914 Yeah, maybe we haven't played them on this show actually, but they are supposed to be good. 01:13:43.934 --> 01:13:44.555 I keep reading about them. 01:13:44.936 --> 01:13:45.637 They're noise nicks. 01:13:46.157 --> 01:13:55.789 The gig was marred by a terrible Steven moment when the lead singer Callum said Steven in between songs and there was no just coming response. 01:13:55.809 --> 01:13:56.130 No. 01:13:56.670 --> 01:13:58.351 as I for one was caught off guard. 01:13:58.571 --> 01:14:05.434 However, it seemed to me that if a singer in a band is shouting out Steven during a gig, then the whole phenomenon has gone too far. 01:14:05.854 --> 01:14:10.416 Should it not be brought to a close and assigned to its rightful place as part of cult Adam and Jo history? 01:14:10.696 --> 01:14:14.618 I would say that when singers in bands start saying it... That's when it's starting to reach its apex. 01:14:14.638 --> 01:14:15.518 Yeah, that's when it's tipping. 01:14:15.538 --> 01:14:16.258 Yeah, that's a good thing. 01:14:16.278 --> 01:14:17.339 We've had the Fleet Foxes 01:14:17.899 --> 01:14:18.399 are in there. 01:14:18.419 --> 01:14:19.680 They're on the Stephen bandwagon. 01:14:19.700 --> 01:14:22.302 Now we've got the Dan and Anna Nachroids in there. 01:14:22.362 --> 01:14:24.984 Somebody from Hatch and Social sent me a video. 01:14:25.084 --> 01:14:27.026 I think his name is Ian. 01:14:27.106 --> 01:14:28.687 I'm not sure the base is in Hatch and Social. 01:14:29.227 --> 01:14:34.211 Sent me a video of a gig in Berlin where the audience are Stephening. 01:14:34.311 --> 01:14:35.071 Or are they Stephening? 01:14:35.291 --> 01:14:36.032 I'll have another look at it. 01:14:36.192 --> 01:14:36.532 Wow. 01:14:36.772 --> 01:14:38.013 But that's action in Berlin. 01:14:38.033 --> 01:14:38.634 That's pretty good. 01:14:39.014 --> 01:14:40.455 I was thinking we should step it up a notch. 01:14:40.495 --> 01:14:42.957 I was thinking we would have a world map on our website. 01:14:43.557 --> 01:14:46.178 and it would be like sightings of some rare species of bird. 01:14:46.318 --> 01:14:47.139 International Stevenage. 01:14:47.159 --> 01:15:04.187 Yeah, and you would have a little thing on the website that showed you, and you'd put the cursor on it, and up would come a little description of the Steven where it was heard, and you know, you could get nectar points, Adam and Jo points, for you know, getting a Steven in a really outlandish location. 01:15:04.207 --> 01:15:04.948 Because we've had what? 01:15:05.248 --> 01:15:07.349 We've had New York in a museum in New York. 01:15:07.409 --> 01:15:07.569 Yeah. 01:15:08.269 --> 01:15:12.653 We've definitely had Paris, we've had Berlin, we've had some far-flung Stevens. 01:15:12.693 --> 01:15:13.994 We'll look in our archives. 01:15:14.014 --> 01:15:14.875 I'm sure there must be one in it. 01:15:14.895 --> 01:15:16.396 We've got a few people listening in Australia. 01:15:16.416 --> 01:15:19.999 We've definitely had some Antipodean ones. 01:15:20.240 --> 01:15:21.140 I like it! 01:15:21.401 --> 01:15:24.263 We're talking with the BBC about refreshing our website listeners. 01:15:24.303 --> 01:15:27.266 We're going to maybe have a new website with a blog and stuff. 01:15:27.726 --> 01:15:31.049 We're not quite sure what sort of stuff it'll have on it, but it'll be improved. 01:15:31.409 --> 01:15:32.871 And maybe that could be one of the features. 01:15:33.291 --> 01:15:34.312 So we're not shutting it down. 01:15:34.512 --> 01:15:35.273 We're ramping it up. 01:15:35.353 --> 01:15:35.954 It's all in the pipe. 01:15:36.154 --> 01:15:37.816 I mean, we do we do this from it. 01:15:38.016 --> 01:15:38.316 Yes. 01:15:38.676 --> 01:15:43.581 We do on this program like to make outrageous claims and promises and then not necessarily follow through immediately. 01:15:43.641 --> 01:15:44.743 But that's just the way we roll. 01:15:44.943 --> 01:15:45.203 Yeah. 01:15:45.323 --> 01:15:45.563 Yeah. 01:15:45.663 --> 01:15:46.204 It'll happen. 01:15:46.504 --> 01:15:46.765 All right. 01:15:46.825 --> 01:15:47.505 So sit tight. 01:15:47.545 --> 01:15:49.728 Thanks very much for all your Stephen news. 01:15:50.208 --> 01:15:53.151 Here we have a bit of music now from the wonderful Eels. 01:15:53.191 --> 01:15:54.072 This is Susan's house. 01:15:55.305 --> 01:15:56.106 That's very nice, isn't it? 01:15:56.126 --> 01:15:58.188 That's Eels with Susan Sows. 01:15:58.708 --> 01:16:00.831 We were talking about lookalikes the other week, weren't we? 01:16:00.851 --> 01:16:01.091 Oh, yeah. 01:16:01.411 --> 01:16:08.658 And we were asking listeners when they emailed us to tell us who they looked like so we can imagine them as sexy celebrities. 01:16:08.699 --> 01:16:10.540 Who was the footballer you were supposed to look like? 01:16:11.121 --> 01:16:11.982 Fernando Torres. 01:16:12.002 --> 01:16:14.324 Fernando Torres is not supposed to look like. 01:16:15.605 --> 01:16:18.028 I mean, the face, not so much, but the body. 01:16:18.328 --> 01:16:19.148 The ball skills. 01:16:19.349 --> 01:16:21.609 Yeah, that's the skilled ball skills. 01:16:23.030 --> 01:16:30.913 And a lot of people have emailed saying that I, Joe Cornish Bearer, facial resemblance to Nicholas Rowe, who played Sherlock Holmes. 01:16:30.933 --> 01:16:32.014 The young Sherlock. 01:16:32.034 --> 01:16:33.895 Sherlock Holmes and the pyramid of fear. 01:16:34.855 --> 01:16:35.175 Yeah? 01:16:35.456 --> 01:16:35.736 Yeah. 01:16:36.196 --> 01:16:40.960 I mean, we've really had a lot of emails, so that's why I felt I should say it, to acknowledge that. 01:16:41.020 --> 01:16:42.221 And I am aware of that. 01:16:43.662 --> 01:16:44.903 I'm not that happy about it. 01:16:44.943 --> 01:16:45.303 Why not? 01:16:45.783 --> 01:16:47.205 Well, he's a funny-looking chap. 01:16:47.265 --> 01:16:48.165 Slightly beaky nose. 01:16:48.325 --> 01:16:50.547 Yeah, I've got a slightly beaky nose. 01:16:50.707 --> 01:16:52.789 And you know, I auditioned for that film. 01:16:52.829 --> 01:16:53.630 That's right, you did. 01:16:53.890 --> 01:16:55.071 They came to our school. 01:16:55.111 --> 01:16:56.752 You even lied about getting the part. 01:16:57.092 --> 01:17:00.173 Yeah, and this is a story I've told before but I'll tell it again quickly. 01:17:00.193 --> 01:17:10.738 I auditioned for it I didn't get a part in it even though our English teacher at school thought that I would so I got very excited Yeah, I was so disappointed at not getting the part. 01:17:10.758 --> 01:17:15.119 I was too young basically I was only about 14 and I think Nicholas Rowe was a little older than me. 01:17:15.259 --> 01:17:18.561 He's not beaky enough Yes, not enough of a beak 01:17:19.421 --> 01:17:20.602 You're looking for more of a beak. 01:17:20.682 --> 01:17:26.424 But, so, there is a hairdresser near me, near Vauxhall in South London, called Tingles. 01:17:27.144 --> 01:17:27.364 Ah, yeah. 01:17:27.885 --> 01:17:34.167 And I'd driven past Tingles, and I was going through a particularly Ponce 80s phase, and I decided I'd visit Tingles. 01:17:34.707 --> 01:17:36.728 So I went into Tingles to have my hair done. 01:17:36.748 --> 01:17:39.109 Tingles is still there on the clapping road. 01:17:39.149 --> 01:17:40.470 I think it is, yeah, Tingles. 01:17:41.170 --> 01:17:48.417 And I never went there once because I told the hairdresser at Tingles that I was in young Sherlock Holmes in the Pyramid of Fear. 01:17:48.437 --> 01:17:54.062 And I didn't want to say that I was playing Holmes because I thought she might see it and realize. 01:17:54.442 --> 01:17:56.184 So I told her she was playing Moriarty. 01:17:56.524 --> 01:17:57.405 You were playing Moriarty. 01:17:57.425 --> 01:17:58.286 Yeah, I was playing Moriarty, sorry. 01:17:58.726 --> 01:17:59.746 who I don't think is in the film. 01:18:00.567 --> 01:18:02.687 Not sure Moriarty is in the film in the end. 01:18:03.608 --> 01:18:08.109 But this is like a lot of the stories people sent us about things you did to be cool last week. 01:18:08.209 --> 01:18:09.990 But that's a thing I tried to do to be cool. 01:18:10.010 --> 01:18:12.170 I lied about getting a part in the film. 01:18:12.210 --> 01:18:12.870 Nice bit of lying. 01:18:13.111 --> 01:18:15.591 Yeah, and I've never been back to tingles since. 01:18:15.691 --> 01:18:20.413 And still, every time I drive past tingles, I get a little tingle of guilt. 01:18:22.045 --> 01:18:24.347 that there might be a disappointed hairdresser in there. 01:18:24.367 --> 01:18:26.189 I've watched it a hundred times. 01:18:26.229 --> 01:18:27.330 I still can't see him. 01:18:28.331 --> 01:18:29.953 There's a picture of you up in the window now. 01:18:30.113 --> 01:18:33.276 Even though now that listeners say I look like Nicholas Rowe, maybe she saw it and go. 01:18:33.316 --> 01:18:34.817 He was lying about being Moriarty. 01:18:35.078 --> 01:18:35.818 He was the lead. 01:18:37.460 --> 01:18:39.382 He just got a stage name, Nicholas Rowe. 01:18:39.422 --> 01:18:40.123 That's right. 01:18:40.703 --> 01:18:57.060 oh it's the beaky fella yes i put his um i put his son in in i did his highlight his son in i made him look like the man from flock of seagulls from china crisis from china the man from flock of seagulls from china crisis yeah i just switched the band the reference there 01:18:59.262 --> 01:19:03.146 Okay, we're going to catch up with a bit more Texanation shortly. 01:19:03.546 --> 01:19:05.448 But first, here's a free play for you right now. 01:19:05.488 --> 01:19:07.130 This is Simeon, and this is a band. 01:19:07.150 --> 01:19:08.091 This is one of those bands. 01:19:08.131 --> 01:19:14.998 They had a very distinctive debut album called Chemistry Is What We Are, which was very woozy and psychedelic. 01:19:15.018 --> 01:19:15.898 Lots of lovely harmonies. 01:19:15.918 --> 01:19:17.180 That's one of the tracks I'm going to play you. 01:19:17.460 --> 01:19:19.242 Strange time signatures, that kind of thing. 01:19:19.682 --> 01:19:28.808 And then they sort of went off, and their next album, I think, was the one that yielded the track We Are Your Friends, which was remixed, maybe, by Justice. 01:19:29.648 --> 01:19:32.670 And it sounded totally different, like 100% different. 01:19:33.150 --> 01:19:35.812 And I'm not sure, I don't know how it did for them. 01:19:35.892 --> 01:19:36.952 I guess it did quite well. 01:19:37.433 --> 01:19:39.134 But to me, it wasn't really to my taste. 01:19:39.214 --> 01:19:42.095 I liked the early simian, the woozy psychedelic simian. 01:19:42.115 --> 01:19:47.218 Maybe a band member left or something and took all the psychedelic stuff with him. 01:19:47.278 --> 01:19:48.159 I don't know what happened. 01:19:48.700 --> 01:19:56.376 But no offence to the Simeon chaps that remained, but I really liked the early incarnation and this is one of those tracks from that album. 01:19:56.696 --> 01:19:57.598 Chemistry is what we are. 01:19:57.638 --> 01:19:59.342 This is called Orange Glow. 01:20:01.421 --> 01:20:20.073 You know, one of the nice things about doing a radio show or anything in the sort of public eye vaguely or like tiny section of a tiny portion of the public's ear is that sometimes people from bands that you really admire or famous people like listen to it, right? 01:20:20.653 --> 01:20:24.596 That was what was really nice about doing the Adam and Jojo on Telly years ago. 01:20:25.516 --> 01:20:30.660 like people that we really admired suddenly have something to sort of identify you with, right? 01:20:30.680 --> 01:20:33.582 And it was exciting that the Bunnyman chapped there. 01:20:33.682 --> 01:20:37.125 And I get excited that Tom Robinson listens to this program. 01:20:37.165 --> 01:20:42.169 He's obviously a six music DJ, but he's a fan of the show and he sent us a very nice email, didn't he? 01:20:42.209 --> 01:20:50.475 He was trying to help out with, he was trying to prove that there was a supportive Twitter community out there, which I know, you know, I'm just still getting my head round Twittering, that's all. 01:20:50.535 --> 01:20:51.856 I still appreciate that. 01:20:51.917 --> 01:20:52.337 Thanks, Tom. 01:20:52.668 --> 01:20:53.448 Yeah, thanks, Tom. 01:20:53.528 --> 01:20:55.369 And what have we got something to plug of Tom's? 01:20:55.389 --> 01:20:56.469 Well, yeah, Art Brute. 01:20:57.249 --> 01:20:58.289 You say Art Brute or Art Brew? 01:20:58.329 --> 01:20:59.389 Brute, I think. 01:20:59.409 --> 01:21:00.229 How would you say Brute? 01:21:00.269 --> 01:21:01.170 Yeah, Art Brute. 01:21:01.670 --> 01:21:03.790 They are playing on his show. 01:21:03.850 --> 01:21:05.090 They're doing a session for him. 01:21:05.951 --> 01:21:07.091 When are they doing it, Joe Cornish? 01:21:07.111 --> 01:21:09.831 They are doing it next Friday from 7pm. 01:21:10.271 --> 01:21:13.952 And their new album, I think I'm right in saying, is produced by Frank Black. 01:21:14.252 --> 01:21:14.852 Wow, really? 01:21:14.972 --> 01:21:18.573 X of the Pixies, now calling himself Black Francis again. 01:21:19.153 --> 01:21:21.914 But I'm not 100% certain about that. 01:21:21.934 --> 01:21:22.954 Right, so it's probably not. 01:21:23.295 --> 01:21:24.235 No, I'm pretty sure. 01:21:24.315 --> 01:21:24.635 Really? 01:21:24.835 --> 01:21:27.556 I'm just thinking on past record, you know? 01:21:27.576 --> 01:21:27.876 Right! 01:21:28.056 --> 01:21:28.957 Of getting things right. 01:21:29.017 --> 01:21:29.957 Throwing the gauntlet down. 01:21:30.417 --> 01:21:32.778 That's galvanised me into checking my facts also. 01:21:33.098 --> 01:21:33.798 We've got two things right. 01:21:33.818 --> 01:21:36.519 Charlotte says that I was correct about Moonraker being made in 79. 01:21:36.639 --> 01:21:36.979 Was it? 01:21:36.999 --> 01:21:36.979 79. 01:21:38.420 --> 01:21:41.261 Okay, so we've got to play a bit of art brute for you right now. 01:21:41.321 --> 01:21:43.762 This is Alcoholics Unanimous. 01:21:44.062 --> 01:21:44.262 Right. 01:21:45.126 --> 01:21:47.329 Alcoholics unanimous by Art Brute. 01:21:47.349 --> 01:21:49.753 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC's 6 Music. 01:21:49.793 --> 01:21:52.116 It's just gone 11.30 and it's time for the news. 01:22:03.140 --> 01:22:08.603 That was the the with this is the day that you heard just before that slightly contracted text donation jingle. 01:22:08.624 --> 01:22:18.990 And we're going to wrap up our text donation this week, which let me remind you, was all about dreadful auditions, stroke, job interviews that you've been involved with in your life. 01:22:19.430 --> 01:22:31.158 Terrible stories inspired by the fact that I actually had a nice audition yesterday, but I've had a number of pretty atrocious ones in my life where I've more or less made a phenomenal dobber of myself in a number of inventive ways. 01:22:33.681 --> 01:22:42.051 and come out feeling fairly humble thereafter so you know we were asking you for similar anecdotes you got anything there Joe? 01:22:42.391 --> 01:22:46.036 I certainly have here's one from a person 01:22:46.977 --> 01:22:47.937 Have you ever met any people? 01:22:48.578 --> 01:22:50.599 You know, I'm a people person myself. 01:22:50.659 --> 01:22:50.979 Really? 01:22:51.039 --> 01:22:52.019 So you love them. 01:22:52.079 --> 01:22:54.400 I make it my business to meet as many of them as I can. 01:22:54.680 --> 01:23:06.305 Hi guys, my favourite interview story concerns my friend Rich, who went along to his Cambridge University interview, and when the academic offered him his outstretched hand to shake, Rich thought he was offering to take his coat and dumped it on his hand. 01:23:06.605 --> 01:23:07.125 Bad one. 01:23:07.266 --> 01:23:11.087 He tried to redeem it at the end by saying Merry Christmas instead of goodbye. 01:23:11.387 --> 01:23:12.768 It was October he didn't get in. 01:23:15.033 --> 01:23:19.736 Oh, it's bad, because once you start getting rattled in those situations, things keep rattling. 01:23:19.816 --> 01:23:21.097 It's a weird world, isn't it? 01:23:21.137 --> 01:23:33.065 You enter into it, you step into a room like that, the all bets are off, the rules have changed, normal natural behaviour isn't what's expected, it's a ritualised arena with its own codified rules. 01:23:33.405 --> 01:23:37.568 And you have to keep playing by those rules, even if the temptation is to sort of cut through all the crap. 01:23:37.588 --> 01:23:39.949 But the thing is, no one's quite sure what those rules are. 01:23:40.009 --> 01:23:40.149 No. 01:23:41.470 --> 01:23:45.533 But we're going some way to finding out what they could be through your brilliant texts. 01:23:46.013 --> 01:23:46.534 Nicely. 01:23:46.734 --> 01:23:49.396 Well, that was a brilliant little segue there. 01:23:50.156 --> 01:23:52.198 Here's another one from Alex in London. 01:23:53.338 --> 01:23:57.661 I've never had much success in interviews, but one embarrassment is still particularly painful to recall. 01:23:58.222 --> 01:24:03.806 While at university in London, I decided I needed a summer job, applied for a telesales position at a firm in Acton. 01:24:04.506 --> 01:24:07.388 trekked all the way up there, found the grotty industrial estate. 01:24:07.848 --> 01:24:09.410 I was already having second thoughts. 01:24:09.550 --> 01:24:10.790 Times were tough, needed the job. 01:24:11.191 --> 01:24:14.113 Interview went okay, the man seemed as if he was going to offer me the job. 01:24:14.693 --> 01:24:17.915 He certainly had something on his mind that he seemed anxious to tell me. 01:24:18.316 --> 01:24:19.677 Do you mind if I make an observation? 01:24:19.977 --> 01:24:24.360 He enquired, not at all, I replied, expecting some helpful friendly tip on interview technique. 01:24:24.680 --> 01:24:28.103 Well, he went on, has anyone ever told you you look a lot like Andrew Lloyd Webber? 01:24:29.444 --> 01:24:38.515 I was furious, since the Lloyd Webber look was not one I had been purposefully cultivating, and I am aware he is not considered a classical beauty by most. 01:24:47.405 --> 01:24:47.745 Man. 01:24:47.766 --> 01:24:48.366 Thank you. 01:24:48.426 --> 01:24:49.467 With a lovely face. 01:24:49.487 --> 01:24:51.809 He does not look like Davros. 01:24:51.829 --> 01:24:56.292 Because basically you would be impugning the judgement of Sarah Brightman amongst other beautiful women. 01:24:56.332 --> 01:24:57.333 Which would be horrific. 01:24:57.373 --> 01:25:00.236 And he doesn't look like Davros' fat uncle. 01:25:01.949 --> 01:25:24.904 I was furious yeah blah blah blah anyway I declined the I declined the offered job on the basis of hurt pride oh that's him declining a job because of something misguided the interviewer said right too frivolous I mean I would that that's my dream one day I'm gonna have sufficient confidence in my life and the things that really matter that I'm gonna stand up in an embarrassing audition situation I'm gonna go you know what 01:25:25.624 --> 01:25:26.545 I just don't need this. 01:25:26.985 --> 01:25:27.365 See ya. 01:25:27.886 --> 01:25:29.627 And then there's this good- wait! 01:25:29.647 --> 01:25:30.007 Come back! 01:25:30.427 --> 01:25:31.828 No one's ever talked to us like that before. 01:25:31.848 --> 01:25:32.189 That's right. 01:25:32.209 --> 01:25:32.569 That's right. 01:25:32.589 --> 01:25:33.349 You're amazing. 01:25:33.369 --> 01:25:35.611 Yes, you can have the job, Dr. Buckles. 01:25:36.331 --> 01:25:37.212 Oh, thank you, it worked! 01:25:37.392 --> 01:25:37.932 Thank you very much! 01:25:37.952 --> 01:25:38.613 When do I start? 01:25:38.753 --> 01:25:39.513 Oh no, you've lost it again. 01:25:39.654 --> 01:25:40.254 Oh no! 01:25:40.674 --> 01:25:41.315 No, you've got it again. 01:25:41.635 --> 01:25:41.995 You know what? 01:25:42.155 --> 01:25:42.696 I don't need this. 01:25:43.356 --> 01:25:43.936 You got it again. 01:25:43.956 --> 01:25:44.497 Hooray! 01:25:44.517 --> 01:25:44.817 Lost it. 01:25:45.117 --> 01:25:46.258 Oh, you don't need this. 01:25:48.419 --> 01:25:50.460 Long interview. 01:25:50.480 --> 01:25:51.100 I don't need this. 01:25:51.500 --> 01:25:53.121 Here's one from another person. 01:25:53.141 --> 01:25:54.801 There's a lot of people out there. 01:25:55.141 --> 01:25:58.603 I went to a job interview last year in Canary Wharf. 01:25:59.063 --> 01:26:02.004 It was going really well until they asked me, what's your biggest regret? 01:26:02.584 --> 01:26:03.204 Oh, what? 01:26:03.344 --> 01:26:06.125 I thought about it a bit and started to cry. 01:26:06.385 --> 01:26:07.846 Oh my goodness. 01:26:08.426 --> 01:26:09.226 I didn't get the job. 01:26:09.386 --> 01:26:10.967 Sorry, that's from John in Bethnal Green. 01:26:12.127 --> 01:26:15.168 You know what, that's a bit sexy to me, but I was imagining that at least it was a woman. 01:26:16.108 --> 01:26:20.890 Because women do tend to cry, it's a medical fact, a bit more easily than men. 01:26:21.010 --> 01:26:25.911 But John, why are you doing having a little weep in the middle of the job interview? 01:26:26.211 --> 01:26:27.252 Hey, men cry as well. 01:26:27.472 --> 01:26:29.092 Of course they do, but it doesn't happen quite so much. 01:26:29.112 --> 01:26:30.253 They just cry tears of stone. 01:26:30.273 --> 01:26:32.533 There's all kinds of physiological reasons why that's so. 01:26:32.593 --> 01:26:33.914 I can give you quite a boring book about it. 01:26:33.934 --> 01:26:34.174 Really? 01:26:34.214 --> 01:26:34.334 Yeah. 01:26:35.634 --> 01:26:36.855 Here's one from Nick White. 01:26:37.155 --> 01:26:45.619 My mate went for a job that required fluent French and although he only had GCSE grade C, he said on his CV that he was fluent. 01:26:45.799 --> 01:26:46.699 Good bit of lying. 01:26:46.799 --> 01:26:48.500 The interview went a bit like this. 01:26:48.520 --> 01:26:49.780 Hi Andrew. 01:26:50.341 --> 01:26:56.804 As you know this post requires a fluent French speaker so if you don't mind we'll be conducting the rest of the interview in French. 01:26:58.004 --> 01:27:03.009 At which point he reeled off in perfectly fluid French a lengthy first question. 01:27:03.469 --> 01:27:11.496 After a bit of a dramatic pause, Andrew calmly responded with, uh, I know I said I spoke French, but actually I don't. 01:27:11.657 --> 01:27:13.919 So if it's okay with you, I'm going to leave now. 01:27:17.922 --> 01:27:19.182 Good work. 01:27:19.202 --> 01:27:21.283 That must have happened a bit though, surely. 01:27:21.823 --> 01:27:23.644 The interviewers must have been just having a ball. 01:27:26.044 --> 01:27:26.784 Anna in Hackney. 01:27:26.884 --> 01:27:30.645 Would you have tried to bluff it a bit with your school boyfriend? 01:27:37.007 --> 01:27:37.488 Then run out. 01:27:37.548 --> 01:27:38.448 Here's one from Anna in Hackney. 01:27:38.468 --> 01:27:40.409 When I was about 15 I applied for a job in a chemist. 01:27:40.670 --> 01:27:43.912 The interview form had a bit on it where it asked why I wanted to work in a chemist. 01:27:44.312 --> 01:27:46.653 I said it was because I like the smell of chemists. 01:27:47.614 --> 01:27:48.775 I wasn't joking or anything. 01:27:49.115 --> 01:27:50.796 I meant that nice chemically smell. 01:27:51.296 --> 01:27:53.518 I don't think it painted me in the best light I never heard back. 01:27:54.398 --> 01:27:58.621 Now that is a weird thing to say because it makes you sound like some kind of special serial killer person. 01:27:58.641 --> 01:27:58.861 Yeah. 01:27:59.252 --> 01:28:00.653 I like the smell of chemists. 01:28:00.813 --> 01:28:01.973 It is a nice smell, though. 01:28:02.374 --> 01:28:02.654 What? 01:28:03.034 --> 01:28:04.555 It's just a reassuring smell. 01:28:04.575 --> 01:28:06.155 You know you're close to being cured. 01:28:06.295 --> 01:28:07.836 Do you like the smell of hospitals, too, then? 01:28:08.016 --> 01:28:08.416 No. 01:28:08.957 --> 01:28:09.717 Why is that different? 01:28:09.817 --> 01:28:13.279 Well, it's chemists are more upbeat, because they're about, you know... Minor ailments. 01:28:13.319 --> 01:28:17.701 Yeah, minor ailments and the cure, and it reminds me of childhood, you know, and you're a pusher and the chemist. 01:28:17.861 --> 01:28:18.101 Sure. 01:28:19.522 --> 01:28:20.482 Anyway, you want another one? 01:28:20.622 --> 01:28:21.923 Yeah, go on, give us one more to wrap it up. 01:28:22.583 --> 01:28:23.383 One more. 01:28:23.824 --> 01:28:28.426 Hi, I went for a job as an HGV fitter, and the foreman directed me into an office. 01:28:29.364 --> 01:28:30.606 This is from Jonathan Banks. 01:28:31.107 --> 01:28:33.230 But what I thought he said was follow me. 01:28:33.650 --> 01:28:36.995 So I went behind him down a corridor, then realised he was going to the toilet. 01:28:37.716 --> 01:28:40.981 As he opened the door to the gents, he turned and saw me directly behind him. 01:28:41.562 --> 01:28:42.263 Unsuccessful. 01:28:46.008 --> 01:28:46.808 I like that. 01:28:46.888 --> 01:28:47.389 One more, one more. 01:28:47.449 --> 01:28:47.689 Okay. 01:28:48.009 --> 01:28:49.050 This is from Claire Rice. 01:28:49.110 --> 01:28:52.333 A friend of mine just told me she auditioned for theatre school with a dramatic monologue. 01:28:52.573 --> 01:28:55.055 They asked her to perform it as if she was being arrested. 01:28:55.576 --> 01:28:56.457 Right, this is good for you. 01:28:56.577 --> 01:28:57.397 Yes, taking notes. 01:28:57.417 --> 01:29:01.121 She struggled against a fake police officer and her top came down. 01:29:01.481 --> 01:29:02.502 She wasn't wearing a bra. 01:29:02.862 --> 01:29:03.784 She got into the school. 01:29:04.945 --> 01:29:07.649 You see, that is what it comes down to, isn't it? 01:29:08.130 --> 01:29:08.631 There you go. 01:29:08.671 --> 01:29:13.378 That's all you need to know about auditions, interviews, life, the universe. 01:29:13.398 --> 01:29:14.079 Pop your top off. 01:29:14.219 --> 01:29:14.760 And everything. 01:29:14.800 --> 01:29:15.601 Pop your top off, love. 01:29:15.781 --> 01:29:16.182 In you come. 01:29:16.863 --> 01:29:17.403 Job's yours. 01:29:18.344 --> 01:29:19.605 Was Adam Buxton speaking? 01:29:20.065 --> 01:29:21.025 No, of course it wasn't. 01:29:21.045 --> 01:29:22.685 No, it wasn't Adam Buxton. 01:29:22.726 --> 01:29:26.267 No, that was Roger... I was in character. 01:29:26.387 --> 01:29:27.267 Yes, Roger Donald. 01:29:28.107 --> 01:29:29.007 He's another teacher. 01:29:29.027 --> 01:29:29.508 You know what? 01:29:29.708 --> 01:29:30.568 I don't need this job. 01:29:31.868 --> 01:29:32.128 OK. 01:29:32.769 --> 01:29:33.289 Well, you've got it. 01:29:33.329 --> 01:29:33.749 You're hired. 01:29:33.769 --> 01:29:34.749 Hooray! 01:29:34.769 --> 01:29:35.169 You're fired. 01:29:35.369 --> 01:29:35.810 Oh, I do. 01:29:35.990 --> 01:29:36.710 No, I don't need it. 01:29:37.350 --> 01:29:38.250 OK, here's Paul Weller. 01:29:38.370 --> 01:29:39.191 No, no, it's not Paul Weller. 01:29:39.311 --> 01:29:42.512 It's Golden Silvers with True Romance, or is it the other way around? 01:29:42.532 --> 01:29:44.072 I'm going to stop doing that. 01:29:44.212 --> 01:29:44.732 You're fired. 01:29:45.352 --> 01:29:46.073 I don't need this job. 01:29:46.613 --> 01:29:47.073 Yeah. 01:29:47.239 --> 01:29:47.539 Go on. 01:29:47.939 --> 01:29:48.300 What? 01:29:48.340 --> 01:29:49.380 Watch the video online now. 01:29:49.560 --> 01:29:54.022 Okay. 01:29:54.162 --> 01:29:55.463 That's the sound of me watching. 01:29:58.464 --> 01:29:59.265 Doesn't sound like it. 01:29:59.405 --> 01:30:00.665 No, it sounds different, doesn't it? 01:30:00.685 --> 01:30:01.085 Exactly. 01:30:01.105 --> 01:30:04.367 It sounds like you're inside the lavatory. 01:30:04.867 --> 01:30:08.468 You know, I've been having a terrible time with technology recently, right? 01:30:08.948 --> 01:30:17.189 And about a year ago, I signed on for a service that Macintosh provided if you have a Mac computer. 01:30:17.229 --> 01:30:19.390 It's a kind of internet thing. 01:30:19.450 --> 01:30:20.770 Has it must have a groovy name? 01:30:21.130 --> 01:30:22.830 I can't remember what they changed the name. 01:30:22.870 --> 01:30:25.891 I think it was a Mac Dot account or something like that. 01:30:26.491 --> 01:30:29.332 And it enabled you to sync all your photos in space. 01:30:29.352 --> 01:30:30.532 And I was having a little... 01:30:31.712 --> 01:30:34.915 In secure moment and a friend of mine says you haven't got a mac.me account. 01:30:34.935 --> 01:30:38.197 Oh, you got to get one It makes your life brilliant and so easy and fantastic. 01:30:38.497 --> 01:30:39.258 Okay, I'll get one. 01:30:39.438 --> 01:30:55.270 Okay, me me me me me me So I immediately sign on for one at the cost of around 70 quid for about three years worth right never used it never never not once used it immediately forgot the password and all that kind of stuff and you know didn't make a proper note of it and 01:30:55.490 --> 01:31:12.935 And then I was reminded that it existed a month or so ago when I got an email saying, your mobile me account is now about to be renewed because Mac Dot changed its name to mobile me in the process, apparently becoming much less good than it was before, according to my friend. 01:31:12.975 --> 01:31:14.216 This is just the opinion of my friend. 01:31:14.856 --> 01:31:19.881 But so I'm thinking, oh no, they're going to renew the account of this thing that I don't use. 01:31:19.941 --> 01:31:21.182 OK, I've got to go and cancel it. 01:31:21.782 --> 01:31:23.664 So I go to try and cancel it, right? 01:31:24.685 --> 01:31:28.368 And it's asking me for my password and my login name, none of which I have. 01:31:29.028 --> 01:31:30.530 So it says, forgot your password. 01:31:31.070 --> 01:31:32.571 Yeah, I have forgotten my password. 01:31:32.591 --> 01:31:33.552 So I click on the thing. 01:31:33.572 --> 01:31:36.894 It takes me to a website where I can put in a new password and stuff. 01:31:36.934 --> 01:31:39.115 Your, you know, notification will be emailed to you shortly. 01:31:39.475 --> 01:31:39.755 Great. 01:31:40.036 --> 01:31:41.457 Okay, so I've got my new password. 01:31:41.877 --> 01:31:42.997 Then I go back to login. 01:31:43.318 --> 01:31:43.898 Login name. 01:31:43.998 --> 01:31:45.859 I don't know what my login name is. 01:31:46.119 --> 01:31:47.440 So I try all the obvious ones. 01:31:47.700 --> 01:31:51.683 Adam Buxton, et cetera, you know, capitalise the A's and the B's and all that kind of stuff. 01:31:51.923 --> 01:31:52.583 Nothing works. 01:31:52.924 --> 01:31:53.804 I can't log in. 01:31:54.144 --> 01:31:58.207 And there's no, there's no thing saying, you know, forgotten your login name as well. 01:31:58.447 --> 01:31:59.267 It's tricky, isn't it? 01:31:59.447 --> 01:32:05.229 The number of secret passwords are numbers you have to have to operate in society in the modern world. 01:32:05.249 --> 01:32:07.269 It's becoming absolutely ridiculous. 01:32:07.289 --> 01:32:10.330 Well, the upshot is that I failed to cancel the account. 01:32:10.570 --> 01:32:12.550 And now they're charging you for another 17 quid. 01:32:12.570 --> 01:32:14.071 Yeah, it's just a renew. 01:32:14.131 --> 01:32:22.012 I got an email saying, congratulations, you've renewed for another year of a service, not only that I have never used and will never use, but I can't access. 01:32:22.132 --> 01:32:23.153 Well, welcome to Britain. 01:32:23.193 --> 01:32:24.593 You can't even get on it. 01:32:24.773 --> 01:32:26.535 It's the same with mobile phone companies, isn't it? 01:32:26.555 --> 01:32:31.098 If you don't cancel your contract, it just perpetuates infinitely. 01:32:31.619 --> 01:32:31.779 Right. 01:32:31.819 --> 01:32:40.907 And there's a phone number, there's a helpline number that you can call, but their office hours are completely out of sync with mine, so I'm never around during their office hours. 01:32:41.467 --> 01:32:45.370 And then if you did finally get through, I would imagine the conversation would go something like, 01:32:47.652 --> 01:32:51.814 I don't know, have you written down your login details? 01:32:52.094 --> 01:32:53.134 No, that's why I'm calling. 01:32:56.236 --> 01:32:57.536 No, I don't know. 01:32:57.556 --> 01:32:58.637 It would go like that. 01:32:59.117 --> 01:33:01.618 And then I would be possibly, I'm just speculating. 01:33:01.658 --> 01:33:03.999 You could go, yes, Mr. Buxton, thanks a lot for calling. 01:33:04.039 --> 01:33:05.420 Thank you very much for calling mobile me. 01:33:05.500 --> 01:33:07.580 No problem, if you want to leave the service, that's absolutely fine. 01:33:07.681 --> 01:33:08.981 Okay, here's your in detail right now. 01:33:09.001 --> 01:33:12.863 70 pounds for leaving and another 150 pounds for compensation for your trouble. 01:33:13.223 --> 01:33:13.783 That's right. 01:33:14.163 --> 01:33:15.284 You never know, worth a try. 01:33:16.345 --> 01:33:17.588 This is a record by the police. 01:33:17.989 --> 01:33:20.014 It's called Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic. 01:33:20.174 --> 01:33:20.355 Bye. 01:33:21.269 --> 01:33:23.310 That's the police with every little thing she does, it's magic. 01:33:23.350 --> 01:33:24.511 It's the end of our show now. 01:33:24.551 --> 01:33:27.713 We'll be back with you live next Saturday from... No, will we? 01:33:27.773 --> 01:33:28.213 No, we won't. 01:33:28.233 --> 01:33:29.394 That's a terrible, terrible lie. 01:33:29.414 --> 01:33:31.895 That is an absolute lie, because we're pre-recording our show. 01:33:31.915 --> 01:33:36.318 Yeah, we did sort of a slightly unusually disastrous pre-record the other day. 01:33:36.438 --> 01:33:41.801 If you want to hear a couple of men more or less running on fumes at the end of their tethers, then listen to next week's show. 01:33:42.801 --> 01:33:47.884 Yeah, and you do remember there'll be a podcast on Tuesday or you can listen to the show again live on the BBC iPlayer. 01:33:47.984 --> 01:33:49.329 Stay tuned for Liz Kershaw. 01:33:49.530 --> 01:33:50.533 Take care, have a good week. 01:33:50.694 --> 01:33:51.978 Thanks for texting, emailing. 01:33:52.099 --> 01:33:52.400 Bye.