WEBVTT 00:00.309 --> 00:03.272 Hello and welcome to the Big British Castle. 00:03.292 --> 00:07.036 It's time for Adam and Joe to broadcast on the radio. 00:07.296 --> 00:11.240 There'll be some music and some random talking in between, and then... 00:14.742 --> 00:15.843 That's very good. 00:16.003 --> 00:18.845 Well done, Animal Collective there with my girls. 00:18.905 --> 00:21.826 That comes from their album, Merryweather Post Pavilion. 00:21.966 --> 00:25.288 Their eighth album, which was out in January. 00:26.129 --> 00:26.989 Out in January? 00:27.030 --> 00:31.672 I mean, you know, these things are just flying past and I'm not taking any notice of them. 00:31.812 --> 00:32.593 It's ridiculous. 00:32.853 --> 00:33.593 You're ridiculous. 00:33.633 --> 00:34.534 I'm ridiculous. 00:34.554 --> 00:35.935 How dare you not take more notice? 00:36.335 --> 00:37.395 Well, you know, I've got the album. 00:37.415 --> 00:38.095 It's very good. 00:38.356 --> 00:41.236 But I just didn't realize that I didn't realize it was the eighth one. 00:41.476 --> 00:42.997 I didn't realize it was out in January. 00:43.017 --> 00:44.597 I didn't realize any of this. 00:44.957 --> 00:46.758 Dear me, thank goodness for this show. 00:46.798 --> 00:48.018 This is Adam Buxton here. 00:48.038 --> 00:49.118 Hello, listeners. 00:49.378 --> 00:50.438 This is Joe Cornish here. 00:50.478 --> 00:54.019 Welcome to our Saturday morning show here on BBC Six Music. 00:54.059 --> 00:55.340 Thanks very much for joining us. 00:55.560 --> 00:56.380 Thanks to Yarae. 00:57.060 --> 00:59.963 Yeah, that cameo track sounded really good, didn't it? 00:59.983 --> 01:00.684 It sounded amazing. 01:00.884 --> 01:04.709 Yeah, it sounded like contemporary music, even though it's 20 years old. 01:04.729 --> 01:07.712 You know, it could have been a new outcast single. 01:07.932 --> 01:09.534 You started something here. 01:09.554 --> 01:11.857 Do you know where I'm pointing to when I say that? 01:12.197 --> 01:13.719 To your Groinal Zonal. 01:13.839 --> 01:14.079 No! 01:14.300 --> 01:14.760 Now where? 01:14.880 --> 01:16.682 No, I'm just pointing to over there. 01:17.523 --> 01:17.823 Yeah. 01:17.843 --> 01:18.123 All right. 01:18.443 --> 01:18.723 Sorry. 01:18.783 --> 01:19.383 You're disgusting. 01:19.424 --> 01:21.184 I am a filthy, filthy man. 01:21.424 --> 01:23.865 Hey, it's very nice to have you along, listeners, you know. 01:24.425 --> 01:27.946 And we're going to be here with you until 12 o'clock today for the live show. 01:29.006 --> 01:30.846 We've got an exciting one coming up for you. 01:31.006 --> 01:34.167 A huge amount of things to get through and music to play. 01:34.627 --> 01:35.047 Right, Joe? 01:35.267 --> 01:38.388 Yeah, usually when I say that, it's going to be exciting. 01:38.688 --> 01:41.229 You get out your scorn, Satchel. 01:42.049 --> 01:43.130 And sprinkle some on me. 01:43.150 --> 01:45.030 I never sprinkle scorn on that statement. 01:45.050 --> 01:48.232 For using the word special or you expect me to qualify it? 01:48.452 --> 01:49.852 Yeah, a little qualification. 01:50.012 --> 01:51.793 Well now I expect you to qualify it. 01:51.873 --> 01:53.494 What is going to happen that's special? 01:53.614 --> 01:55.054 Alright then, here's what's going to happen. 01:55.354 --> 01:57.575 We're going to resolve our 80s song wars. 01:58.016 --> 01:58.796 Ah, that's special. 01:58.876 --> 01:59.996 That is very special. 02:00.296 --> 02:06.019 Ties into all kinds of different things that we can talk about because there's been an avalanche of correspondence about the 80s song wars. 02:07.079 --> 02:11.323 We are going to launch Text-A-Nation even though we haven't thought of what it's going to be yet. 02:11.343 --> 02:11.923 Good, good, good. 02:11.963 --> 02:13.264 We might have to delay that for a bit. 02:13.364 --> 02:14.044 A little bit. 02:14.125 --> 02:15.546 People can suggest ideas. 02:16.226 --> 02:21.750 Text-A-Nation is our regular feature where we ask people to text in about a subject that we normally supply you with. 02:21.810 --> 02:23.251 This week we haven't quite got one yet. 02:23.271 --> 02:24.172 We've got some ideas. 02:24.192 --> 02:24.992 We've got some brilliant ideas. 02:25.012 --> 02:28.535 We just have to choose which is the very best out of an amazing array of ideas. 02:28.615 --> 02:29.896 We've got a bit of juvenilea. 02:29.936 --> 02:32.518 I mean, we are firing on all cylinders as far as features go. 02:33.139 --> 02:38.763 We've got some great clips of a demented four-year-old, which we're going to play you in our juvenilea section. 02:39.524 --> 02:42.286 We're going to do pop psychology, is that right? 02:42.767 --> 02:44.348 We might do pop psychology, yeah. 02:44.608 --> 02:45.769 That's four features. 02:46.290 --> 02:48.092 That's so special, I'm really sorry. 02:48.112 --> 02:49.494 I mean, that's too many features. 02:50.074 --> 02:50.415 Almost. 02:50.455 --> 02:52.337 You know, that's like a man with five noses. 02:53.018 --> 02:54.079 Too many features. 02:54.640 --> 02:55.421 Five-nose Frankie. 02:55.681 --> 02:56.462 Five-nose Frankie. 02:56.482 --> 02:57.463 I know that guy. 02:57.543 --> 02:58.805 I drink in the same boozer. 02:58.945 --> 03:00.406 You don't want to cross him. 03:01.147 --> 03:03.028 Over there, there's five-nose Frankie. 03:03.188 --> 03:04.890 He's a nasty piece of business. 03:05.250 --> 03:07.852 He uses his different noses to smell different things. 03:08.212 --> 03:09.793 I can smell somebody filthy. 03:10.393 --> 03:12.215 I can smell somebody dirty. 03:12.815 --> 03:14.796 I can smell a slag. 03:16.477 --> 03:19.299 And with my left nose, I can smell the trouble. 03:19.359 --> 03:20.280 What else can you smell, Frankie? 03:20.300 --> 03:21.281 I can smell some flowers. 03:21.621 --> 03:22.862 Ooh, that's nice. 03:22.882 --> 03:23.902 I can smell some Febreze. 03:24.162 --> 03:25.223 I don't like flowers. 03:25.263 --> 03:26.224 I hate flowers. 03:27.144 --> 03:29.386 Frankie, five noses hates flowers. 03:29.946 --> 03:30.647 I love Febreze. 03:31.407 --> 03:32.908 for a love for a breeze. 03:33.028 --> 03:35.830 I spray it on my dirty socks to stop them making a smell. 03:36.090 --> 03:44.175 Other nice fragrances are available, says Frankie Five-nose, in the name of balance. 03:44.575 --> 03:45.976 What about some Amy Winehouse? 03:46.196 --> 03:47.177 I love Amy Winehouse. 03:47.197 --> 03:48.297 What are you going to supply me with? 03:48.337 --> 03:49.158 What kind of winehouse? 03:49.598 --> 03:50.559 Stronger than me. 03:51.179 --> 03:52.440 Oh, is that a new winehouse? 03:52.480 --> 03:54.141 Yeah, here's a delicious, fresh note. 03:54.161 --> 03:55.482 No, this is an old winehouse. 03:55.502 --> 03:56.302 This is from 2003? 03:56.342 --> 03:57.663 Yeah, in a colloquial manner. 03:57.823 --> 04:00.205 Yeah, I'm just being positive. 04:00.265 --> 04:00.585 Yeah. 04:01.065 --> 04:02.666 Uh, here's a delicious bottle of Winehouse. 04:04.528 --> 04:08.070 Oh dear, Amy Winehouse... She looked delicious, this Winehouse. 04:08.310 --> 04:12.393 She made that... noise with her bottom, did she? 04:12.913 --> 04:14.515 Well, that's understandable. 04:14.555 --> 04:16.916 She's been eating some very bad food. 04:17.457 --> 04:20.599 But this Winehouse is absolutely delicious. 04:20.899 --> 04:21.840 Where did you get it? 04:22.400 --> 04:23.721 I bought it from Waitrose. 04:23.981 --> 04:25.102 Did you really? 04:25.502 --> 04:27.463 I mean, was it in a special rack? 04:28.323 --> 04:28.863 It was. 04:28.883 --> 04:32.265 You're really roaming with that one, aren't you? 04:32.365 --> 04:32.865 Well, am I? 04:32.885 --> 04:34.646 I was thinking of a special rack. 04:36.006 --> 04:38.507 And a bottle of wine in its... Winehouse's special rack. 04:38.527 --> 04:40.708 Yeah, a bottle of wine tucked into Winehouse's rack. 04:40.988 --> 04:42.108 Is that her bony rack? 04:42.389 --> 04:43.389 Yeah, is it bony? 04:43.929 --> 04:45.290 Yeah, usually. 04:45.310 --> 04:46.590 Yeah, is it? 04:46.730 --> 04:50.692 It used to be, like, nice and curvaceous, but recently it's got a bit bony. 04:50.732 --> 04:52.192 She's sort of been replaced, hasn't she? 04:52.212 --> 04:52.973 By Duffy. 04:54.033 --> 04:54.293 Really? 04:54.533 --> 04:55.414 Isn't that what happened? 04:55.494 --> 05:00.796 Winehouse was ready to take the 60s soul mantle. 05:01.457 --> 05:02.717 And then she ran into some trouble. 05:02.817 --> 05:03.157 She did. 05:04.038 --> 05:07.980 She displayed an inability to not behave wonkily. 05:09.341 --> 05:11.301 And so they lined up Duffy and popped her in her place. 05:11.361 --> 05:12.102 Is that what's happening? 05:12.142 --> 05:20.406 You could say that when Winehouse started to get a little, shall we say, vampiric, then Duffy, the vampire slayer, came along. 05:20.746 --> 05:21.106 Yes. 05:21.727 --> 05:23.768 And that was quite... That's a good idea for a film. 05:24.108 --> 05:24.348 Is it? 05:24.588 --> 05:26.910 Yeah, James Corden and Matthew Horn could star in it. 05:27.430 --> 05:29.651 That's a very... Well, that's just a good idea for any film. 05:29.711 --> 05:30.672 Yeah, or for anything. 05:30.992 --> 05:31.952 Or for anything. 05:32.012 --> 05:33.473 I'm surprised they're not doing this show. 05:33.493 --> 05:37.776 For a new show on BBC3, they can do some kind of thing with a live audience, I was thinking. 05:37.796 --> 05:37.936 Yeah. 05:38.556 --> 05:40.298 and maybe one of them could remove their shirt. 05:40.358 --> 05:40.919 Did you watch that? 05:41.179 --> 05:42.441 Yeah, it was, it was good. 05:42.681 --> 05:42.821 Yeah. 05:43.462 --> 05:44.963 Okay, so what are we gonna do now? 05:45.724 --> 05:48.007 Uh, a radio show on BBC Six Music. 05:49.589 --> 05:50.710 You were gonna say something. 05:50.730 --> 05:51.691 I think it started 15 minutes ago. 05:51.711 --> 05:57.357 Oh yeah, I was just gonna tell listeners that last week I got very angry with the beautiful and clever Charlotte. 05:57.558 --> 05:57.618 Oh. 05:58.078 --> 06:12.639 just seeing if she responds she's our assistant she's actually she sits through a double pane of soundproof glass i think mostly playing solitaire or checking her facebook for three hours no that's not true she works very hard but i gave her a hard time last week about not uh 06:14.361 --> 06:15.821 rooting the printer correctly. 06:16.162 --> 06:21.663 I kept printing out emails and they kept turning out of the printer upstairs, not the one out here. 06:21.723 --> 06:26.384 So I said Charlotte, sort it out, and anyway she has. 06:26.564 --> 06:28.745 Did you say it in that voice, in that accent though as well? 06:28.885 --> 06:29.085 No. 06:29.365 --> 06:30.485 Charlotte, sort it out. 06:30.505 --> 06:31.105 Sort it out. 06:31.125 --> 06:33.086 She respects that kind of voice. 06:33.866 --> 06:34.106 Yeah. 06:34.626 --> 06:36.047 Anyway, it's exciting news. 06:36.167 --> 06:43.870 I believe she's sorted it out and she said without prompting with a cheeky, slightly sarcastic look on her face just now, oh, I've sorted out the printer. 06:43.950 --> 06:45.270 It's a little bit of disrespect. 06:45.490 --> 06:45.810 What is it? 06:45.830 --> 06:46.971 A tiny bit of disrespect. 06:46.991 --> 06:47.391 Well, good. 06:47.411 --> 06:49.732 Well, I'm going to let that slide for the moment. 06:50.012 --> 06:51.052 You carry on, Charlotte. 06:51.393 --> 06:55.714 So all emails that we received this morning will be read out with no incumbents. 06:56.254 --> 06:57.335 Is that the right word? 06:57.555 --> 06:58.075 Absolutely. 06:58.115 --> 06:58.355 Yeah. 06:58.395 --> 06:58.595 Yeah. 06:58.635 --> 06:58.835 Yeah. 06:59.015 --> 07:00.496 Incumbents is exactly the right word. 07:01.336 --> 07:02.658 Now we're going to play some more music. 07:02.678 --> 07:04.219 This is a free choice for you listeners. 07:04.859 --> 07:06.361 And we got an email. 07:06.421 --> 07:08.923 We're going to resolve song wars within the next hour. 07:09.984 --> 07:11.325 It's our 80s song wars. 07:11.725 --> 07:19.031 And one of the lyrics I used in my 80s song wars song was, Ad Rock broke my Rubik's Cube and Mike D punched Rick Astley. 07:19.171 --> 07:20.272 MCA watched MTV. 07:20.292 --> 07:22.314 The whole thing was quiet ghastly or just ghastly. 07:22.854 --> 07:38.830 Someone writes in who is this Ricardo Lewis from Cardiff says hi chaps loving the show as always but I feel the need to take task with Adams 80 song wars effort this week because of those lyrics I can't believe you did this rhyming Astley with ghastly that honor memorably belongs to Nick Lowe 07:39.744 --> 07:44.568 and his classic 1990s song, All Men are Liars, which contains the opening lines. 07:44.628 --> 07:46.970 Do you remember Rick Astley? 07:47.311 --> 07:48.431 He had a big fat hit. 07:48.652 --> 07:49.532 That was ghastly. 07:50.573 --> 07:56.558 I'm frankly gobsmacked by this gap in your otherwise wonderful knowledge of popular culture, so any chance of playing some Nick Lowe on the show? 07:56.819 --> 08:02.163 He actually wanted me to play the track All Men are Liars, but we haven't got it in the Big British Castle locker, shamefully. 08:02.464 --> 08:05.506 So instead, Ricardo, I'm going to play this one, which is always good to hear. 08:05.526 --> 08:06.367 This is So It Goes. 08:06.527 --> 08:08.848 That was Skeleton Boy by Friendly Fires. 08:08.868 --> 08:11.349 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 08:11.429 --> 08:14.130 It's a Saturday morning and it's a joy to be with you. 08:14.250 --> 08:15.630 Joy to be alive, you know? 08:16.131 --> 08:18.752 Just to be functioning within fairly normal parameters. 08:19.112 --> 08:19.412 Isn't it? 08:19.552 --> 08:20.092 What do you think? 08:20.292 --> 08:21.193 I think I agree. 08:21.473 --> 08:22.913 I've got some jokes for you, Joe. 08:23.033 --> 08:23.574 Oh, brilliant. 08:23.594 --> 08:24.134 Do you want to hear them? 08:24.154 --> 08:24.334 Yeah. 08:24.454 --> 08:25.094 I made these up. 08:25.434 --> 08:28.215 Like I've been making, I've been thinking, like, do you ever think of jokes? 08:28.695 --> 08:30.756 What, like old school traditional jokes? 08:30.856 --> 08:31.236 No, no, no. 08:31.316 --> 08:32.017 Ones that you've made up. 08:32.697 --> 08:34.278 But I mean, what form would the jokes take? 08:34.338 --> 08:37.140 Just, uh, you mean proper, like, cracker joke book jokes? 08:37.240 --> 08:37.961 No, no, no. 08:38.021 --> 08:38.721 Just funny things. 08:38.801 --> 08:39.582 Funny things, yeah. 08:39.982 --> 08:41.343 Uh, no, I never think of those. 08:41.383 --> 08:41.763 Do you not? 08:42.323 --> 08:42.764 Ah, well done. 08:43.464 --> 08:45.926 Um, my one, so I've been saving these up, right? 08:45.966 --> 08:47.407 And today I had the third one. 08:47.607 --> 08:48.267 Yep, yep, yep, yep. 08:48.287 --> 08:51.530 Like, I had one, I thought of one at Christmas, then I thought of one a couple of weeks ago. 08:51.550 --> 08:52.290 I had one at Christmas. 08:52.590 --> 08:52.790 Did you? 08:52.810 --> 08:53.571 Do you want to tell me yours? 08:54.091 --> 08:56.853 Yeah, it wasn't necessarily a joke, it was just a clever thing to say. 08:56.873 --> 08:57.754 There you go, that's all I'm talking about. 08:57.794 --> 08:59.715 My girlfriend said, oh, I've got indigestion. 08:59.835 --> 09:02.097 And I said to her, well, why don't you get out of digestion? 09:03.497 --> 09:03.757 See? 09:03.918 --> 09:04.578 And it was just like that. 09:04.598 --> 09:05.538 It didn't take me a second. 09:05.558 --> 09:05.738 Brilliant. 09:05.778 --> 09:06.759 I was straight back with that. 09:06.859 --> 09:07.119 Bang. 09:07.319 --> 09:08.059 Digestion. 09:08.519 --> 09:09.200 Nice. 09:09.900 --> 09:10.740 Does that count? 09:10.940 --> 09:11.661 Yeah, definitely. 09:12.041 --> 09:13.181 Compared to mine, it counts. 09:13.301 --> 09:14.402 Compared to mine, it's amazing. 09:15.522 --> 09:16.703 Here's the first of mine, right? 09:17.503 --> 09:18.703 Sorry, I've got a little frog in my throat. 09:18.723 --> 09:19.444 That's not part of the joke. 09:19.564 --> 09:20.084 This is real. 09:20.104 --> 09:20.744 This is actual real. 09:21.965 --> 09:22.685 It's actual real. 09:22.705 --> 09:23.265 It's so real. 09:23.325 --> 09:24.766 Yeah, it's actual reality, that was. 09:25.666 --> 09:26.767 Okay, here's the first of my jokes. 09:27.808 --> 09:35.213 Here's a name for a TV show about a couple of Welsh people whose romantic conversations are listened into by the Secret Service. 09:35.814 --> 09:36.074 Right. 09:36.274 --> 09:37.155 Gavin and Stasi. 09:37.615 --> 09:37.956 Nice. 09:39.497 --> 09:40.898 Now I know the sort of joke you mean. 09:40.978 --> 09:41.218 Right. 09:41.418 --> 09:45.161 Where you think of a funny little word pen and you sort of think backwards to justify it. 09:45.181 --> 09:45.701 What do you mean? 09:47.023 --> 09:47.363 You're right. 09:47.383 --> 09:48.224 I was analyzing it too. 09:48.284 --> 09:49.965 Yeah, I'm way too much on now. 09:49.985 --> 09:50.906 Keep going second one. 09:50.926 --> 09:51.487 Keep cracking. 09:51.807 --> 09:59.994 Okay A name for a band made up of wrapping babies the no solids crew Hey 10:01.144 --> 10:01.644 That's good. 10:01.685 --> 10:02.205 That's good. 10:02.265 --> 10:02.745 That's good. 10:02.825 --> 10:04.967 Well, a bit more of a reaction would be nice there. 10:05.007 --> 10:05.588 No, that's good. 10:05.608 --> 10:06.409 Well, it's intellectual. 10:06.429 --> 10:10.052 I'm finding it hard to actually laugh, because its strength is it's clever. 10:10.092 --> 10:14.135 The no solids, because they don't eat solid food yet, because they're babies. 10:14.175 --> 10:16.217 They rap, so it's all... That's very good. 10:16.437 --> 10:16.838 ...in there. 10:17.078 --> 10:18.939 Do you know where you're going to use these jokes yet? 10:19.780 --> 10:21.281 You shouldn't use them on the show. 10:21.341 --> 10:23.083 Yeah, maybe the Royal Variety performance. 10:23.103 --> 10:23.203 Right. 10:23.283 --> 10:23.703 Good idea. 10:23.744 --> 10:23.964 Good target. 10:23.984 --> 10:24.684 When I get invited. 10:24.704 --> 10:25.105 Good goal. 10:25.365 --> 10:27.146 You know, because it's only a matter of time, surely. 10:27.206 --> 10:27.407 It is. 10:28.067 --> 10:29.328 Before I get invited there. 10:29.928 --> 10:32.410 Here's the last joke now the last joke I made up this morning. 10:32.450 --> 10:37.713 It's not as good as the other ones Mmm, it's not good as no solids crew and Gavin and Starzy. 10:37.753 --> 10:42.535 Yeah, but I'm gonna give it to you anyway Do you think this is less? 10:42.675 --> 10:44.156 This is more amorphous this joke. 10:44.416 --> 10:44.836 Do you think? 10:45.877 --> 10:52.681 If a guy called Bob goes and gets a job at cafe Nero, he's called Robert De Niro Oh 10:53.496 --> 10:59.599 Alright, well I told you that one wasn't as good as the No Solids crew and Gavin and Stasi, but I just thought I'd pop it in there to make it the three. 11:00.459 --> 11:00.720 You know? 11:01.520 --> 11:02.740 I'm still thinking about the last one. 11:02.801 --> 11:04.982 Alright, we'll play The Damned while you think a little bit more. 11:05.002 --> 11:05.802 This is Love Song. 11:06.022 --> 11:07.323 Yeah, that's good, isn't it? 11:07.443 --> 11:11.585 That's The Damned with Love Song, Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 11:12.305 --> 11:17.328 Yeah, in a second, listeners, we're going to get into revealing the results of the exciting Ultimate 80s song wars. 11:17.788 --> 11:22.630 We played you two homemade songs last week, and you've been voting all week. 11:23.031 --> 11:23.631 Hundreds of you. 11:24.091 --> 11:25.432 Yeah, literally in your hundreds. 11:25.452 --> 11:27.173 Was there over a hundred votes, do you think? 11:27.553 --> 11:28.834 There were over a hundred votes. 11:28.854 --> 11:28.974 Easily. 11:28.994 --> 11:30.314 Was there over 200 votes? 11:30.735 --> 11:32.415 Now, why do you have to push it like that? 11:32.435 --> 11:32.475 No. 11:32.496 --> 11:34.296 Well, because I need to be grammatically correct. 11:34.336 --> 11:35.157 This is the BBC. 11:35.197 --> 11:36.738 I can't use hundred plural. 11:37.338 --> 11:39.639 Hundreds, if there weren't over 200 votes. 11:39.999 --> 11:40.199 Right. 11:40.239 --> 11:40.980 That would be a lie. 11:41.491 --> 11:43.732 It would be, you would not be safeguarding trust. 11:43.872 --> 11:44.613 That would be disgusting. 11:44.633 --> 11:46.214 There were 190 votes. 11:46.394 --> 11:47.895 You would be betraying trust. 11:47.975 --> 11:49.155 Yes, the bond of trust. 11:49.195 --> 11:55.279 You would be like going, it would be like going up to a little trusting girl or boy aged, maybe six. 11:55.399 --> 11:57.160 Yeah, and shoving them in the face. 11:57.200 --> 11:59.441 Shoving them over into some mud. 12:00.301 --> 12:03.363 And maybe making sure that they go face down into that mud. 12:03.563 --> 12:04.944 That's exactly what you would be doing. 12:05.224 --> 12:06.105 Well, I'm not doing that. 12:06.185 --> 12:07.225 We don't do that here at The Beast. 12:07.245 --> 12:09.987 So stand by for those results coming right after the news. 12:11.766 --> 12:13.567 Did he say that was dedicated to Joe? 12:13.607 --> 12:14.087 Yes, he did. 12:14.107 --> 12:15.827 And he said I should grab my what? 12:15.887 --> 12:16.367 Bones-er. 12:16.827 --> 12:17.728 My bones-er? 12:17.848 --> 12:18.448 I think so. 12:18.668 --> 12:20.128 I don't think he said that, did he? 12:20.648 --> 12:20.928 Yeah. 12:20.988 --> 12:21.609 What else would he say? 12:21.649 --> 12:22.029 What is that? 12:22.449 --> 12:23.649 What are you worried he said something filthy? 12:23.689 --> 12:24.729 What's my bones-er? 12:24.829 --> 12:25.450 Your bones. 12:26.310 --> 12:27.490 Oh, grab my bones. 12:27.530 --> 12:28.550 Yeah, grab your bones. 12:28.630 --> 12:30.091 How do you grab your bones? 12:30.431 --> 12:32.711 I don't know, you just pop one out and then grab it. 12:32.751 --> 12:33.051 Really? 12:33.131 --> 12:33.411 Yeah. 12:33.872 --> 12:35.232 I'd have to penetrate my skin. 12:35.683 --> 12:36.824 Yeah, you'd have to have an accident. 12:36.844 --> 12:37.985 Is that what he really wants? 12:38.005 --> 12:38.746 That's what he wants. 12:39.086 --> 12:39.406 Really? 12:39.426 --> 12:40.487 That's what they're like. 12:41.108 --> 12:45.031 I suppose if I jump around enough, the bones might penetrate the skin. 12:45.251 --> 12:46.232 Yeah, that's the thing. 12:46.272 --> 12:50.356 I mean, that was House of Pain, of course, and that's a guaranteed floor-filling smash. 12:50.556 --> 12:51.217 It is a smash. 12:51.237 --> 12:51.917 To this day. 12:52.378 --> 12:54.660 Quite raucous at this time in the morning on a Saturday. 12:54.920 --> 12:55.320 Wow. 12:55.681 --> 12:56.621 It's music, you know. 12:56.641 --> 12:59.444 I mean, it's supposed to be a young people's station. 12:59.784 --> 13:02.607 You and I know that very few young people actually listen. 13:03.107 --> 13:03.668 That's not true. 13:03.708 --> 13:04.608 Of course that's not true. 13:04.648 --> 13:05.189 I'm joking. 13:05.229 --> 13:06.009 It's just a joke. 13:06.390 --> 13:06.850 Calm down. 13:06.870 --> 13:07.691 You're not another joke. 13:07.911 --> 13:08.571 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 13:08.731 --> 13:09.732 Gavin and Stasi. 13:10.353 --> 13:10.613 Right? 13:11.373 --> 13:12.434 Out of digestion. 13:12.714 --> 13:14.856 The No Solids crew. 13:15.116 --> 13:15.937 It's good. 13:16.577 --> 13:20.580 So listen, listeners, it's time to reveal the winner of this week's Song Wars. 13:20.901 --> 13:23.503 And that means it's time to play the exciting song wars jingle. 13:24.804 --> 13:26.725 It's time for Song Wars. 13:27.266 --> 13:28.747 The War of the Songs. 13:29.307 --> 13:31.689 A couple of tunes by a couple. 13:41.533 --> 13:44.236 On a tangent, uh, you know what I think you just did Adam? 13:44.457 --> 13:44.637 No. 13:44.737 --> 13:47.360 I think you stumbled upon a subject for text the nation. 13:48.000 --> 13:49.422 Jokes you made up. 13:49.943 --> 13:50.643 Oh yeah? 13:50.683 --> 13:50.924 Yeah? 13:51.164 --> 13:52.545 That you're convinced you've made up. 13:52.626 --> 13:52.826 Right. 13:53.126 --> 13:57.271 Because everyone does that, you know, you have a slip of the tongue and say something stupidly and then 13:58.531 --> 14:00.712 Recontextualize it as a hilarious joke. 14:00.732 --> 14:08.235 I'm not saying that's what you did yours were obviously scientifically crafted in in a in a humor a laughter lab a joke lab Yeah, joke lab because they're very very funny. 14:08.356 --> 14:08.896 Thank powerful. 14:08.916 --> 14:16.459 They work But you know listeners, maybe you think you've made some sort of a formulated some kind of a joke that no one else has ever formulated 14:16.479 --> 14:16.879 That's true. 14:16.899 --> 14:26.208 You know, I did a gig last night, and one of the chaps that came along to the gig did a gag that I must say I thought that either I'd thought of, or maybe I'd read somewhere else. 14:26.248 --> 14:30.111 Well, comedy's full of comedians complaining that other people have stolen their material. 14:30.131 --> 14:31.292 And in very seldom happens. 14:31.352 --> 14:34.935 What does happen is that you just think you thought of it yourself, you know? 14:34.955 --> 14:38.799 I don't know anyone who actually goes out and hears somebody else's joke and goes, hmm, I think I'll use that. 14:39.319 --> 14:46.106 I mean, they say that those people do exist, but I think the other reason is probably more common, you know? 14:46.206 --> 14:47.267 Anyway, that's a tangent. 14:48.047 --> 14:51.210 Like, the joke I heard was the one about... No, I was finishing. 14:51.330 --> 14:51.831 I was closing. 14:51.851 --> 14:52.612 You were closing the tangent? 14:52.632 --> 14:53.612 Yeah, I was closing that off. 14:53.672 --> 14:54.433 I shut that door. 14:54.453 --> 14:55.274 I just, there's a little slip road. 14:55.294 --> 14:56.235 You just walked right into it. 14:56.535 --> 14:57.256 There is a little slip road. 14:57.276 --> 14:58.137 The door's closed now. 14:58.177 --> 14:58.957 We were moving on. 14:58.977 --> 15:00.138 Just driving off on the slip road. 15:00.158 --> 15:00.399 Go on then. 15:00.879 --> 15:04.460 It was just going to explain the joke that I thought maybe... Which joke? 15:04.620 --> 15:05.840 The Obama one. 15:05.900 --> 15:12.562 He was making a joke about Obama saying, I don't really think, you know, his speeches weren't that great, you know, saying, yes, we can all the time. 15:12.602 --> 15:14.283 I mean, who's his speechwriter, Bob the Builder? 15:14.803 --> 15:15.363 That's the one. 15:16.043 --> 15:19.264 And I thought, I thought, I think I've heard that one somewhere else. 15:19.284 --> 15:20.345 I wasn't sure. 15:20.425 --> 15:20.625 Yeah. 15:21.625 --> 15:21.886 Finished? 15:22.586 --> 15:23.147 Yeah, thanks. 15:23.307 --> 15:23.968 That's alright, man. 15:24.008 --> 15:25.049 I let you say it. 15:25.510 --> 15:28.373 Yeah, but I mean, you really barred the slip road there. 15:28.533 --> 15:29.835 Well, it's a matter of time. 15:30.175 --> 15:31.417 You know, we've got to move on. 15:31.437 --> 15:31.877 That's true. 15:32.398 --> 15:36.543 Song Wars last week, listeners, was all about 80s music. 15:36.783 --> 15:38.645 We were trying to compose the ultimate 80s song. 15:38.705 --> 15:40.648 I did a kind of ABC tribute. 15:41.128 --> 15:42.850 And Adam did a, what was it? 15:42.890 --> 15:43.911 A Philoke tribute? 15:44.271 --> 15:48.035 Well, it was a mixture of there was bits of Philoke, bits of Pet Shop Boys, that kind of thing. 15:48.075 --> 15:55.323 I've got to say, as you know, listeners, we get all the emails and stuff sent to us during the week and quite a lot of the votes were sent through. 15:55.343 --> 15:56.664 Yes, that's not normal. 15:57.204 --> 15:57.845 It's not normal. 15:57.905 --> 15:58.345 It's good. 15:58.365 --> 16:08.574 Well, I've bullied the production staff to try and send us everything So we've got a new producer this week listeners Jeff because Ben's gone away on a on a motorbike holiday in Vietnam with Ewan McGregor. 16:08.634 --> 16:17.361 Yeah and Jeff Brilliantly sent through all the but you did send through like almost all of them So I know that it's it's looking quite bad for my APC songs 16:17.481 --> 16:18.702 I couldn't help noticing that. 16:18.882 --> 16:19.843 Yeah, it wasn't looking good. 16:19.883 --> 16:21.404 I think I... Well, we'll see. 16:21.424 --> 16:22.104 I might be wrong. 16:22.124 --> 16:23.485 There might have been a last minute rally. 16:24.646 --> 16:31.710 But Jeff has also been saying to Adam in the last half hour, Adam, your song is the 80s song, right? 16:32.290 --> 16:36.173 And then just now he said, Adam, let me just make 100% sure this is your song. 16:36.713 --> 16:37.674 And then he played a clip of it. 16:37.714 --> 16:39.675 So that's given me one or two hints as well. 16:39.935 --> 16:40.315 Yeah. 16:40.615 --> 16:42.136 But imagine if it went the other way now. 16:42.436 --> 16:43.677 Well, that would be exciting. 16:43.697 --> 16:46.298 You know, that would really get the production team off the hook. 16:46.498 --> 16:46.738 Yeah. 16:46.818 --> 16:55.603 Because it would mean that all of Jeff's appalling signals that have blatantly given away who's won would actually be a brilliantly clever manipulation. 16:55.803 --> 16:56.063 Yeah. 16:56.303 --> 16:57.103 That would be good, wouldn't it? 16:57.163 --> 16:59.945 But I don't think that's what happened, is it? 17:00.045 --> 17:02.446 So here are the results in the sealed envelope. 17:02.466 --> 17:03.266 190 votes. 17:03.286 --> 17:03.366 Yeah. 17:03.506 --> 17:03.766 Yeah. 17:04.007 --> 17:05.767 That's good. 17:06.148 --> 17:06.408 Yeah. 17:06.688 --> 17:07.208 Good voting. 17:07.268 --> 17:08.349 Before I say the results. 17:09.629 --> 17:11.510 I'm going to read an email, right? 17:12.331 --> 17:16.794 This is from somebody called, oh no, no, it's called, it's from Jerry. 17:16.894 --> 17:19.155 I thought I'd left the name off, but it's from Jerry O'Donohoe. 17:20.316 --> 17:23.298 Is that a lady or a man if it's spelled G-E-R-I? 17:23.698 --> 17:24.398 I would say a woman. 17:24.658 --> 17:25.739 Okay, a lady woman. 17:26.179 --> 17:31.863 She says, hi Adam and Joe, I've observed a recurring trend in your song wars songs, which I thought I should bring to your attention. 17:32.563 --> 17:41.392 Adam's songs are very factual and straightforward, often recounting the history of something or telling us the listeners what Adam feels about that weak subject. 17:41.912 --> 17:51.642 The production of Adam's songs echoes the realist nature of his lyrics, never relying on unnecessary donks or effects, choosing rather to allow his lyrics and performance to tell the song. 17:52.202 --> 17:52.983 Eh, what do you reckon on that? 17:53.403 --> 17:54.404 Not entirely accurate. 17:54.604 --> 18:04.311 Joe's songs have a tendency to veer into the surreal, often featuring fiction situations which Joe plays out singing from the main character's perspective rather than voicing his own thoughts. 18:04.771 --> 18:16.880 Also, Joe's production is much more elaborate, displaying a vision which matches the creativity of his lyrics and his understanding of the importance of multi-layering music and backing vocal tracks. 18:17.340 --> 18:21.003 Also, Joe seems to have a brightness and intelligence that Adams lacks. 18:21.743 --> 18:22.604 Wait a second. 18:22.624 --> 18:25.427 His hair is bouncy and light and fresh. 18:25.888 --> 18:28.691 His complexion is beautiful and translucent. 18:29.071 --> 18:30.633 And he's got lovely knees. 18:30.713 --> 18:32.635 And he's got beautiful knees. 18:32.715 --> 18:34.117 I made up the end of that. 18:34.477 --> 18:39.963 But before a certain point, up until the words vocal tracks, that was all Jerry's actual email. 18:39.983 --> 18:40.964 What a brilliant analysis. 18:41.044 --> 18:41.584 Yeah, that's great. 18:41.604 --> 18:42.464 That's flattering to me. 18:42.564 --> 18:43.525 That's very nice, Jerry. 18:43.665 --> 18:44.545 Thank you very much for that. 18:44.585 --> 18:45.805 But let's see who's won, shall we? 18:45.845 --> 18:46.185 Shall we? 18:46.285 --> 18:46.405 Okay. 18:46.445 --> 18:47.325 Let's see if that carries us. 18:47.345 --> 18:51.106 The winner, unless, uh, in case you haven't guessed, is Adam has won with 57%. 18:51.986 --> 18:52.867 Oh, that was close. 18:53.047 --> 18:54.447 Joe 43%. 18:54.607 --> 18:54.947 Wow. 18:54.967 --> 19:00.248 Oh, I could have handled a bit more of a romping win, but still, I don't deserve it because yours was very good. 19:00.928 --> 19:04.049 Uh, if you, if I don't, if you don't deserve it, then that means mine was better. 19:04.309 --> 19:04.709 No, no, no. 19:04.749 --> 19:06.450 I don't deserve a romping win. 19:06.570 --> 19:06.890 Okay. 19:07.090 --> 19:08.531 You just, but you do deserve the win. 19:08.571 --> 19:09.191 I would say so. 19:09.271 --> 19:10.052 How complacent. 19:10.072 --> 19:11.252 That's a little bit complacent, isn't it? 19:11.272 --> 19:12.113 Let's hear the winning song. 19:12.133 --> 19:13.253 This is Adam's 80s song. 19:14.474 --> 19:20.817 One thing that I really hate is how we are no longer in the 80s. 19:20.917 --> 19:27.380 I wish dark brown from back to the future could take me back there now in his glory and calm. 19:29.241 --> 19:43.847 Going back to the 80s, a decade of fun You could make lots of cash in gender bending the sun You could dress like a commerce or a pirate from space And draw wavy lines on your face 19:45.448 --> 20:00.864 Margaret Thatcher, shoulder pads, new kids on the block, fresh, bloody popping, funny Eddie Murphy, metal Mickey, a day glow sock, New York girls who dressed all slutty, boys from Camden who were nutty, the king of pop when he was black, um, shack attack. 20:01.304 --> 20:24.683 I live in the exits, my life is fantastic I've got a giant flat made of money and plastic I play space invaders, I drive a C5 What a great time to be alive This is a sample of James Brown Scratch, scratch, scratching, scratching I'm a sexy woman 20:25.134 --> 20:44.850 We had the Beastie Boys for tea, their behaviour was disgraceful They vomited on Adam Ant and boy George got a face full Adrock broke my Rubik's Cube and Mike Dee punched Rick Astley MCA watched MTV, the whole thing was just ghastly The 80s were destroyed by the Beastie Boys 20:45.670 --> 20:53.416 They were so rude and made a terrible noise Why did they have to shout at the end of every line? 20:53.456 --> 21:11.269 They followed and everything was fine Oh, take me back today, it's horrible here There's crappy 80's music, unemployment and fear Oh wait, they had those then of course I nearly forgot In fact, things haven't changed a lot 21:14.670 --> 21:18.791 There we go, the winning Song Wars song there, Adam's 80s song. 21:18.971 --> 21:23.572 Only 57% of the vote, so that means a significant proportion of the listeners are going to be quite angry about that. 21:23.592 --> 21:26.773 Well I'd like to thank every single listener who voted for my song. 21:27.593 --> 21:37.756 Sometimes I think that people who like my work are too sophisticated and intellectual to dirty their lovely porcelain hands with such a smutty thing as well. 21:37.936 --> 22:00.056 voting when you say sometimes radio i imagine you think that quite a lot but listen here's the thing that takes the edge off my victory right yeah bring it on i was watching the new series of flight of the concourse online this week and it's going out in the states at the moment it's very good and um the latest episode featured uh germane and brett 22:00.737 --> 22:12.642 turning themselves into a... They were trying to be cool, basically, and one of the ways that they were trying to be cool was doing a retro 80s synth act, which a lot of bands are doing, of course, as we have noted many times on this program. 22:13.083 --> 22:15.344 So they come up with the ultimate 80s song. 22:16.124 --> 22:22.989 And it sounds very, very similar thematically to mine, like they have touched on a number of very similar styles. 22:23.009 --> 22:23.650 So we have a listen. 22:24.770 --> 22:25.791 Oh, sorry, sorry. 22:26.292 --> 22:27.833 Jeff, I never told you what track it was. 22:28.273 --> 22:32.436 It's track four on the CD there, and this is a little clip of the concords. 22:47.135 --> 23:05.368 Gazzercise Lip gloss You think you know fashion Well, fashion's a stranger You think fashion's your friend My friend, fashion is danger 23:10.566 --> 23:11.528 Posing at the bar. 23:12.709 --> 23:13.671 Posing sitting down. 23:14.852 --> 23:16.735 Posing in the distance. 23:16.995 --> 23:17.936 Posing with my arm. 23:19.158 --> 23:20.980 Posing with my leg. 23:21.281 --> 23:23.283 Posing like a swan. 23:23.423 --> 23:24.565 Posing for a portrait. 23:25.566 --> 23:26.868 Posing your threads. 23:30.200 --> 23:38.043 So there you go, that is like the concords there with a clip from their new series and that's their ultimate 80s song. 23:38.063 --> 23:39.204 It's very similar, isn't it? 23:39.544 --> 23:40.684 Except much, much better. 23:40.724 --> 23:41.445 Did you notice that? 23:42.285 --> 23:43.566 I wouldn't necessarily say that. 23:43.586 --> 23:46.907 They've probably got more expensive fangly production techniques now. 23:46.927 --> 23:48.048 And actual musical skills. 23:48.148 --> 23:50.449 They had very good synth sounds there, didn't they? 23:50.469 --> 23:50.829 Yeah, yeah, they did. 23:50.849 --> 23:52.089 Synths sounds are quite hard to come by. 23:52.369 --> 23:53.130 But that was similar. 23:53.190 --> 23:56.111 In fact, I can remember being chastised several shows ago. 23:56.171 --> 23:57.471 I'm not sure which song was it was. 23:57.532 --> 23:58.232 It was the French one. 23:58.852 --> 24:00.493 It's just a question of knowing when to use the list 24:29.513 --> 24:45.449 that's the end of song wars oh my gosh it was an epic wasn't it sorry to ramble and meander like that but thank you very much indeed for all your votes now it's time for some real music this is Paul Weller with all I want to do that's well uh Paul Weller with all I want to do is be with you that's new weller isn't it 24:45.489 --> 24:47.752 Yeah, yeah, that new album is supposed to be amazing. 24:47.792 --> 24:49.033 I've not heard it properly yet, though. 24:49.053 --> 24:50.234 I've got to apply myself. 24:50.294 --> 24:51.896 This weekend, that's what I'm going to do this weekend. 24:51.916 --> 24:52.417 I'm going to get home. 24:52.437 --> 24:54.159 Catch up with fashionable new music. 24:54.219 --> 25:00.386 Catch up with the Weller, yeah, or listen to the Animal Collective record again, check all my music facts. 25:00.446 --> 25:01.347 Things are going to be different. 25:01.467 --> 25:02.889 Is there going to be a fashion makeover? 25:03.249 --> 25:04.189 Yeah, skinny jeans. 25:04.329 --> 25:06.430 I'm gonna go on an Afghan scarf. 25:06.490 --> 25:07.650 Radical diet as well. 25:07.670 --> 25:11.231 This time next week I'm gonna be a very different proposition. 25:11.251 --> 25:13.631 Yeah, I'm excited by this announcement. 25:13.651 --> 25:14.951 Yeah, it's gonna be crazy. 25:14.991 --> 25:16.072 It's about time you got with it. 25:16.732 --> 25:18.692 I'm gonna get a stylist as well. 25:18.752 --> 25:19.292 Are you? 25:19.712 --> 25:24.793 I think you should move out of your house and just sleep on friends' couches. 25:25.154 --> 25:26.374 That's the cool thing to do. 25:26.494 --> 25:27.334 What about my family? 25:27.994 --> 25:28.554 That's all right. 25:28.614 --> 25:29.154 They won't mind. 25:29.194 --> 25:34.216 They'll appreciate you can pop around every now and then a bit drunk and oh And just like kip on the sofa. 25:34.356 --> 25:35.116 Yeah for a bit. 25:35.156 --> 25:37.837 That's how kids live these days, right? 25:38.017 --> 25:45.259 You know if you watch skins and stuff or listen to the music of Pete dirty Yeah, then that's how you don't need to have a house anymore. 25:45.499 --> 25:47.380 Be like a rock dad exactly rock dad. 25:47.420 --> 25:47.660 Yeah. 25:47.740 --> 25:47.880 Yeah 25:48.180 --> 25:48.440 Yeah. 25:48.600 --> 25:51.901 Come around all messed up and I'm more screwed up than the kids are. 25:51.961 --> 25:52.501 Yeah. 25:52.521 --> 25:53.101 That's the deal. 25:53.141 --> 25:53.321 Yeah. 25:53.461 --> 25:55.562 So when they're teenagers, they're giving me advice. 25:55.642 --> 25:56.002 Yeah. 25:56.062 --> 25:56.802 What a reversal. 25:56.842 --> 25:57.742 What a switcheroo. 25:57.822 --> 25:58.002 Yeah. 25:58.423 --> 26:00.163 I mean, that's what it's like living these days. 26:00.543 --> 26:01.383 It's crazy. 26:01.463 --> 26:03.244 I'm telling you it's upside down. 26:03.564 --> 26:05.004 So listen, what about this text the nation? 26:05.044 --> 26:05.304 I did. 26:05.364 --> 26:06.985 I think this is a go of you. 26:07.005 --> 26:07.825 You're made up jokes. 26:08.085 --> 26:08.645 Let's try it. 26:09.365 --> 26:10.026 We're going to try it. 26:10.086 --> 26:14.387 That is going to be the official text the nation nation subject this week listeners. 26:14.587 --> 26:15.727 What's the worst that could happen? 26:16.880 --> 26:18.501 Lots of really, really bad jokes. 26:19.102 --> 26:21.924 That's not what's the absolute worst that could happen. 26:21.984 --> 26:22.624 An earthquake. 26:23.765 --> 26:24.626 That's too extreme. 26:24.646 --> 26:26.687 That's not connected to text the nation either, is it? 26:26.707 --> 26:26.867 No. 26:27.127 --> 26:30.590 I'm thinking about something directly connected to the very worst that could happen. 26:30.890 --> 26:33.712 Someone sends us in a very racist joke. 26:33.752 --> 26:35.373 We don't quite realize it's racist. 26:35.413 --> 26:36.654 We read it out by accident. 26:37.034 --> 26:37.914 We get fired. 26:38.554 --> 26:43.556 No, the Daily Mail finds out they launch a campaign, another campaign against the BBC. 26:43.596 --> 26:49.478 This one is the one that, the straw that broke the camel's back, the whole corporation crumbles, thousands of people are laid off. 26:50.758 --> 26:53.099 It's all our fault for this text the nation idea. 26:53.179 --> 26:53.699 Let's do it. 26:53.759 --> 26:54.219 Let's do it. 26:55.039 --> 26:57.560 Okay, so the idea- Should we make it official by having the jingle? 26:57.660 --> 26:57.840 Yeah. 26:58.060 --> 27:02.382 We've had some complaints, listeners, that we've been using the short text the nation jingle. 27:02.882 --> 27:05.343 So, Geoff, are you gonna be able to play the long one? 27:06.043 --> 27:06.603 Let's have to do it. 27:08.456 --> 27:09.196 Text the nation! 27:09.256 --> 27:10.317 Text, text, text! 27:10.417 --> 27:11.157 Text the nation! 27:11.217 --> 27:12.198 What if I don't want to? 27:12.438 --> 27:13.158 Text the nation! 27:13.258 --> 27:14.259 But I'm using email. 27:14.439 --> 27:15.179 Is that a problem? 27:15.199 --> 27:18.160 It doesn't matter, text! 27:18.400 --> 27:19.141 Was that the longer one? 27:19.341 --> 27:20.301 That's as long as it is. 27:20.421 --> 27:20.721 Good. 27:20.881 --> 27:21.362 There we go. 27:21.402 --> 27:21.822 So that's it. 27:21.862 --> 27:22.502 It's official now. 27:22.542 --> 27:23.122 Text the nation. 27:23.162 --> 27:25.764 This week is jokes you're convinced you've made up. 27:26.484 --> 27:30.566 This is as distinct from, for instance, dad jokes, like bad jokes your parents make. 27:30.866 --> 27:32.226 Or would that qualify? 27:33.707 --> 27:39.392 Because parents often make bad jokes, and dads especially like to make bad jokes over and over again. 27:39.452 --> 27:42.895 Different genre, but still that would be a joke a dad had made up. 27:42.935 --> 27:45.717 That's why you say them, because you're convinced you thought of them. 27:46.198 --> 27:49.260 And you're waiting to get the laugh you think they deserve. 27:49.981 --> 27:52.063 So you just don't let go, you pummel people with them. 27:52.703 --> 27:53.745 out of digestion. 27:54.846 --> 27:55.967 Gavin and Stasi. 27:56.328 --> 27:56.728 You see? 27:56.969 --> 27:57.309 Yeah. 27:57.529 --> 27:59.492 So maybe that does blur a bit. 27:59.872 --> 28:01.574 But jokes you're convinced you've made up. 28:01.594 --> 28:03.757 We've already had a few sent through that I've heard before. 28:04.438 --> 28:06.480 So we're going to be putting some people out of their misery. 28:06.781 --> 28:06.961 Okay. 28:06.981 --> 28:08.322 Out of their authorship delusion. 28:08.603 --> 28:08.943 Really? 28:09.043 --> 28:11.046 Oh, that's the authorship delusion. 28:11.426 --> 28:12.527 That's my new book! 28:12.747 --> 28:16.489 I've just done a deal with Pam McMillan, literally just then. 28:16.889 --> 28:19.511 The Authorship Delusion by Joe Cornish. 28:19.611 --> 28:22.673 No idea what it's about, but it's selling like hot toddies. 28:23.753 --> 28:25.414 We could do the audiobook as well. 28:25.895 --> 28:27.656 I just got that, you know, the God Delusion. 28:28.396 --> 28:29.057 Still haven't read it. 28:29.137 --> 28:29.817 What's that about? 28:29.977 --> 28:31.058 Oh, it's Dawkins. 28:31.218 --> 28:32.058 Got it on audiobook. 28:32.078 --> 28:35.400 Because I like the way Dawkins sounds very nice and he's got a lovely voice. 28:36.381 --> 28:37.982 So he's soothing when you're listening to him. 28:38.002 --> 28:38.682 Justin Dawkins. 28:38.702 --> 28:39.263 Propaganda. 28:41.104 --> 28:42.024 Listen, here's a free play. 28:42.064 --> 28:45.366 This is the band Stereo Lab and this is called French Disco. 28:45.706 --> 28:47.046 That was Too Fake by Hockey. 28:47.086 --> 28:49.488 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music. 28:49.568 --> 28:51.188 It's time for textination. 29:08.496 --> 29:11.740 Do you remember the first joke you ever made up? 29:21.498 --> 29:24.299 Oh gosh. 29:25.259 --> 29:26.659 I do. 29:27.099 --> 29:32.120 I was at a friend's birthday party and we used to sing Kumbaya a lot at school. 29:32.641 --> 29:34.881 Kumbaya my lord. 29:34.961 --> 29:35.921 Suddenly occurred to me. 29:36.341 --> 29:38.342 Cucumber my lord. 29:38.442 --> 29:43.603 And I vividly remember spitting my entire drink out over the table and all my friends. 29:43.943 --> 29:55.012 Age to earn hold yeah, I spit I spitted is that the right word spot must have been about seven I spitted my drink all over my best friend Matthew slot over who now edits freeze magazine That's right. 29:55.812 --> 29:58.254 I spat it I sprayed him because I thought that was so funny. 29:58.734 --> 30:07.261 It is very funny funny cucumber So text the nation this week listeners is all about Jokes you think you've made up. 30:07.421 --> 30:09.923 Yeah, and if they're really quite crap 30:10.598 --> 30:11.339 That's quite good. 30:11.559 --> 30:11.799 Yes. 30:11.999 --> 30:24.447 But the nice thing is if you think they're amazing, you know, because there's something about a joke that you've made up, even if it's sort of mutated, slightly, you know, unable to survive, you still love it. 30:24.908 --> 30:25.128 Yes. 30:25.168 --> 30:26.429 And you want it to be loved. 30:27.749 --> 30:29.190 You feel a sense of pride. 30:29.391 --> 30:34.774 And that's the thing, like, you maybe you keep that joke in an attic, like a strange child. 30:36.395 --> 30:36.675 Yeah. 30:36.775 --> 30:37.016 Yeah. 30:37.356 --> 30:41.878 And then this is an opportunity for you to bring that strange child out of the attic and introduce it to the world. 30:41.959 --> 30:43.579 Here's a very good one from Lee and Brighton. 30:43.600 --> 30:51.464 It's very important you send us your names, because if any of these jokes reoccur maybe in someone's stand-up set, then we can sue them. 30:51.784 --> 30:52.225 Exactly. 30:52.925 --> 30:54.146 And give the money to charity. 30:54.566 --> 30:55.507 To comic relief. 30:55.527 --> 30:55.787 Yeah. 30:57.848 --> 30:59.529 What a generous thing of us to say. 31:00.030 --> 31:09.296 Completely fictional, speculative, charitable gesture that in no way will ever enter the sphere of reality. 31:09.877 --> 31:10.798 How big of us? 31:11.358 --> 31:12.359 Yeah, but we want to. 31:12.379 --> 31:14.300 That's good, isn't it? 31:14.340 --> 31:15.441 Yeah, it's the thought of the cat. 31:15.521 --> 31:15.921 It's true. 31:15.941 --> 31:16.842 That's part of us. 31:16.862 --> 31:19.404 I mean, I know comic relief is based on more than thoughts. 31:19.424 --> 31:21.906 It's based on actual charitable contributions. 31:22.586 --> 31:23.768 Mind you, a lot of it is pledges. 31:24.368 --> 31:24.629 Right. 31:24.689 --> 31:24.949 Isn't it? 31:25.490 --> 31:28.673 For the next several months they have to go around actually getting the money off people. 31:28.713 --> 31:29.234 Isn't that right? 31:29.995 --> 31:33.018 So our pledge is based on the possibility of suing a comedian. 31:33.619 --> 31:36.262 Yeah, for using one of these appalling jokes. 31:37.083 --> 31:37.804 It's good, it's good. 31:37.824 --> 31:40.087 It's gonna make a lot of money for people in need. 31:40.587 --> 31:42.808 Here is an email from Liam Brighton. 31:42.868 --> 31:44.549 He says, Good morrow, Adam and Joe. 31:44.589 --> 31:45.749 It's sort of medieval greeting. 31:46.069 --> 31:49.191 Here's a joke that I did make up and did make. 31:49.711 --> 31:49.911 What? 31:50.191 --> 31:54.113 Here's a joke that I did make up and did make when decorating the living room the other day. 31:54.293 --> 31:54.573 Ah, right. 31:55.333 --> 31:57.654 Did you hear about the Dalek decorator? 31:58.514 --> 32:04.217 They can only do external paint, external paint, external paint, brackets said in a Dalek voice. 32:04.317 --> 32:05.417 That's very good. 32:05.477 --> 32:06.017 What's his name? 32:06.078 --> 32:06.338 Lee. 32:06.498 --> 32:06.618 Lee. 32:07.435 --> 32:07.875 Wow. 32:08.456 --> 32:08.736 Yup. 32:09.116 --> 32:11.518 I wonder if that's Lee the decorator who decorated our house. 32:11.718 --> 32:12.479 Maybe it is. 32:12.699 --> 32:13.119 You reckon? 32:13.599 --> 32:14.720 Could he be living in Brighton? 32:14.880 --> 32:16.662 You make it sound as if we live in the same house. 32:16.822 --> 32:17.702 Ex-dano paint. 32:18.003 --> 32:18.803 Like Dick and Dom. 32:18.883 --> 32:19.283 We do. 32:19.544 --> 32:20.404 In Dabungalow we live. 32:20.424 --> 32:21.765 What are you talking about? 32:21.785 --> 32:24.367 What are you talking about Lee who came round and decorated Dabungalow? 32:24.567 --> 32:25.008 Bungals. 32:26.493 --> 32:27.074 Bungle building. 32:27.094 --> 32:28.596 That's our address, Adam and Jo. 32:28.916 --> 32:29.657 Dab bungalow. 32:29.678 --> 32:30.158 Dab bungalow. 32:30.178 --> 32:31.360 I wish we were Dick and Dom. 32:31.680 --> 32:33.363 That's one of the best programmes ever on television. 32:33.383 --> 32:34.184 Because they moved out of Dab Bungalow. 32:34.204 --> 32:34.564 In television. 32:34.584 --> 32:35.486 Television history. 32:35.726 --> 32:35.966 Right. 32:36.047 --> 32:36.988 I sincerely believe that. 32:37.008 --> 32:37.489 Yeah, you always love it. 32:37.509 --> 32:38.290 Because they were repeating it. 32:38.350 --> 32:39.211 It's amazing. 32:39.231 --> 32:39.311 Yeah. 32:40.202 --> 32:41.363 And now they've been taken off. 32:41.503 --> 32:42.544 No, they've got a new show. 32:42.564 --> 32:43.304 They've got a medieval show. 32:43.325 --> 32:44.225 Yeah, it's not the same now. 32:44.545 --> 32:45.346 Oh, my children love it. 32:45.406 --> 32:45.746 It's very good. 32:45.766 --> 32:46.147 Do they love it? 32:46.227 --> 32:46.447 Yeah. 32:46.467 --> 32:46.627 Good. 32:46.687 --> 32:47.108 They're brilliant. 32:47.148 --> 32:47.828 It's a funny story. 32:47.948 --> 32:48.729 Do you want another one? 32:48.749 --> 32:49.189 Yes, please. 32:50.570 --> 32:51.191 Hi, chaps. 32:51.391 --> 32:55.674 I'm a dad, and I like making up silly jokes to upset my children's senses. 32:56.095 --> 32:57.155 Here's my latest effort. 32:57.536 --> 33:00.198 What do you call a president that keeps having accidents? 33:01.099 --> 33:02.880 Oh, this is terrible. 33:02.920 --> 33:04.822 Why didn't I read this through first? 33:06.283 --> 33:07.624 Bad luck, Obama. 33:09.127 --> 33:09.968 That is awful. 33:10.028 --> 33:11.550 And then after that he writes, ta-da! 33:12.011 --> 33:12.411 Get it? 33:12.431 --> 33:14.875 Oh, I'm off to my shed then. 33:14.995 --> 33:15.856 All the best, Bill. 33:16.257 --> 33:17.558 Bad luck, Obama. 33:17.578 --> 33:19.140 Wow, his children must be upset. 33:19.241 --> 33:20.642 Just the bee and the cane. 33:20.662 --> 33:21.363 Shut up, Dad! 33:21.744 --> 33:22.225 Shut up! 33:26.178 --> 33:29.562 Obama because it sounds a bit like Barack. 33:30.282 --> 33:31.664 That's the thinking behind it. 33:31.704 --> 33:33.426 Yeah, well done Obama. 33:34.046 --> 33:44.297 Oh, I'm not I think I'm gonna have to read through some of these because they're making my head hurt We've only had to I know but they're so powerful They're too strong the no solids crew 33:45.203 --> 33:46.964 Yeah, nothing's as strong as that. 33:47.024 --> 33:47.284 Right? 33:47.904 --> 33:48.745 Rapping babies. 33:48.845 --> 33:51.006 Or why don't you get out of digestion? 33:51.906 --> 33:52.787 Mine's not so good, is it? 33:52.967 --> 33:57.149 He works in Cafe Nero, and he's called Robert De Niro. 33:57.409 --> 33:59.750 More jokes you think you've made up are coming very soon. 33:59.770 --> 34:04.752 I'm gonna filter them a bit more thoroughly, though, because, um... Yeah, because of what you just heard. 34:04.772 --> 34:05.813 You're frightened of the joke power. 34:06.013 --> 34:06.934 Yeah, you've got to be careful. 34:07.114 --> 34:07.394 Fair enough. 34:07.414 --> 34:08.055 You've got to ration them. 34:08.275 --> 34:08.735 Easy man. 34:09.056 --> 34:10.777 Here's Jimmy Cliff with The Harder They Come. 34:10.897 --> 34:13.640 Jim Alt, The Cliff Man with The Harder They Come. 34:13.780 --> 34:15.941 Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 34:16.142 --> 34:19.985 Now Joe, what's your current position on littering, public littering? 34:20.576 --> 34:22.957 I really, really despise public littering. 34:23.197 --> 34:29.160 Yeah, I mean, they've got a new campaign at the moment with people who have had their noses changed into pig noses. 34:29.540 --> 34:30.000 Really? 34:30.140 --> 34:34.562 To make it clear that people who do litter are pigs, pig people. 34:34.902 --> 34:35.183 Right. 34:35.623 --> 34:36.883 Do you think that's a good way of going? 34:37.203 --> 34:39.865 Well, that might be a little bit strong. 34:40.105 --> 34:41.245 No, I don't think it's strong enough. 34:41.845 --> 34:48.628 You know, my thought is that if you treat the world like a dustbin, then the world will treat you like a dustbin. 34:48.648 --> 34:49.289 Like a dustbin. 34:50.009 --> 35:08.562 that's what I think when I see people littering I just think well that's sad because if you care that little about things then you know what goes around comes around maybe that's gonna that that one little action is gonna resonate through your life right and you'll just have might have a bad life the comic dustbin you've got to look after the details exactly you know 35:09.503 --> 35:12.386 Put things in binny bins definitely in the binny. 35:12.486 --> 35:17.231 Maybe these are people who have been spiritually binned themselves, right? 35:17.351 --> 35:23.979 They've come from tough tough backgrounds and they are now taking it out on the rest of the world and environment in the world dropping Chris pack 35:24.279 --> 35:25.220 But it's no excuse. 35:25.280 --> 35:28.343 I mean, that is one area of your life that you really can manage fairly well. 35:28.563 --> 35:29.143 I'd pick it up. 35:29.664 --> 35:31.845 I'd pick up the litter in the street outside my house. 35:31.926 --> 35:33.507 So do I. Yeah. 35:33.547 --> 35:44.416 Yesterday I got a face mask, you know, like a builder's breathable mask, a pair of bud headphones, and a very, very, very, very long bit of blue bog roll. 35:45.297 --> 35:50.902 I don't think it had been used, but I picked it up and it was a bit disgusting and being used in a bog type of way. 35:50.922 --> 35:51.923 Oh, these are things you picked up. 35:52.104 --> 35:54.086 I thought you were going out wearing like a mask. 35:54.146 --> 35:54.546 No, no, no, no. 35:54.566 --> 35:55.367 These are things I picked up. 35:55.547 --> 35:55.807 Right. 35:56.408 --> 35:57.349 Did you have gloves on? 35:57.389 --> 35:58.250 It's a Trevor trove. 35:58.510 --> 35:59.511 It's an absolute Trevor trove. 35:59.551 --> 35:59.792 Yeah. 35:59.892 --> 36:01.113 Were you wearing any kind of protection? 36:01.133 --> 36:01.253 No, no. 36:01.273 --> 36:02.354 Just use my hands and wash them. 36:02.674 --> 36:03.435 Exciting stuff. 36:03.655 --> 36:05.878 I put on gloves because I live in the countryside now, right? 36:05.998 --> 36:07.079 And we've got a country lane. 36:07.139 --> 36:07.960 Surely there's no litter. 36:08.220 --> 36:10.401 There is litter everywhere in the country. 36:10.541 --> 36:12.661 I know it's a disgrace, it's a saddening disgrace. 36:13.061 --> 36:20.463 What people do, obviously, is especially young people, I'm assuming, young people in their souped-up boogie mobiles. 36:21.244 --> 36:25.905 They drive along the country lanes and they wind down their windows, they lob cans out. 36:26.565 --> 36:49.333 of there's this one stretch of lane right near where we live and it's just uh... litter street and they just lob empty cans of drink alcoholic drink cans they go out there and they just lob them out on the side but they will lob anything out there this one guy right who clearly folds up his crisp empty crisp packet into a long strip and then he ties it in a knot 36:50.273 --> 36:51.493 Then he lobs it out the window. 36:51.513 --> 36:54.434 Because I went on a big tidying mission last weekend. 36:54.454 --> 36:55.094 Good for you, good for you. 36:55.554 --> 36:56.975 And with a big bin bag and stuff. 36:57.035 --> 37:02.376 And I found these little bows, crisp packet bows, all along. 37:02.716 --> 37:03.877 This guy just... He's a repeater fender. 37:04.137 --> 37:05.737 You see, this has crossed my mind as well. 37:05.777 --> 37:11.099 I fantasised about getting a garden chair and sitting in the street with a digital camera. 37:11.739 --> 37:15.620 And maybe one of those fluorescent jackets that makes you appear to work for the council. 37:16.900 --> 37:19.722 Yeah, and just photographing litter bugs. 37:19.922 --> 37:20.462 Definitely. 37:20.842 --> 37:21.082 You know? 37:21.102 --> 37:21.903 What would you do though? 37:22.103 --> 37:22.423 Nothing. 37:23.743 --> 37:28.045 But just the fact that this man with the fluorescent thing was there taking their photo. 37:28.145 --> 37:32.387 And you could look at the pictures of them at night and just go, oh, I could publish some sort of a newsletter. 37:32.507 --> 37:33.588 Right, that would be the thing to do. 37:33.808 --> 37:34.328 Vigilante type. 37:34.348 --> 37:34.988 Name and shame. 37:35.028 --> 37:35.769 Yeah, name and shame. 37:35.969 --> 37:36.409 Exactly. 37:36.489 --> 37:37.289 For litter labs. 37:37.349 --> 37:40.931 Here's the item of litter that got me most angry and upset on every level. 37:41.731 --> 37:44.553 It was a discarded tin of paint. 37:45.393 --> 37:52.496 with a plastic bag around it because clearly what had happened is this paint had leaked in somebody's car or whatever. 37:52.596 --> 37:56.178 They got annoyed and they just lobbed it out of the window on the side of the road. 37:56.218 --> 37:57.238 That's a common symptom. 37:57.358 --> 38:05.301 I get little plastic bags of people's rubbish like little mini bin bags but they've tied them up all neatly but then just left that in the street, in the gutter. 38:05.441 --> 38:06.802 But a can of paint 38:07.182 --> 38:15.507 You know, they care enough about their own domestic environment that they would go out and buy some paint to make that look nice. 38:16.007 --> 38:20.109 But then when it leaks a little bit, I'm going to throw it in the road in a country lane. 38:20.969 --> 38:23.391 You know, because I don't care about anyone else in the world. 38:23.971 --> 38:25.431 I mean, what are we going to do about it? 38:25.511 --> 38:26.632 What are we going to do about it? 38:26.692 --> 38:29.993 Maybe the same police force that enforces the gig manifesto. 38:30.013 --> 38:30.653 The pigeon detectives. 38:30.673 --> 38:31.673 We're going to talk about later. 38:31.713 --> 38:33.574 Maybe they could police the litter. 38:33.894 --> 38:34.974 Well, it's stretching them very thin. 38:35.034 --> 38:37.115 I think the solution is tough penalties. 38:37.375 --> 38:37.755 You reckon? 38:37.915 --> 38:38.135 Life. 38:38.975 --> 38:39.235 Life. 38:39.715 --> 38:39.995 Litter. 38:40.115 --> 38:40.996 Life for littering. 38:41.056 --> 38:41.296 Yeah. 38:41.556 --> 38:43.456 That litterates as well, so it must be good. 38:43.516 --> 38:44.176 The litter lifers. 38:44.457 --> 38:45.657 The litter lifers. 38:46.057 --> 38:48.058 And they would get brutalized in the showers. 38:48.138 --> 38:48.538 Oh, yes. 38:50.498 --> 38:51.899 This is the greatest crime of all. 38:52.079 --> 38:52.899 It's the worst. 38:53.179 --> 38:55.480 The uh, the screws would turn a blind eye. 38:56.161 --> 38:56.961 That's right. 38:57.001 --> 38:58.442 Coming into the litter. 38:58.502 --> 38:59.482 He's in for litter. 38:59.702 --> 39:01.163 It's gonna be a long night for him. 39:01.383 --> 39:02.163 Can of paint. 39:02.684 --> 39:03.864 Don't fancy his chance. 39:03.924 --> 39:05.025 He's gonna get shivved. 39:05.745 --> 39:07.686 He's gonna get shivved. 39:08.006 --> 39:09.246 He deserves it as well. 39:09.266 --> 39:09.807 You know what? 39:09.987 --> 39:10.667 He deserves it. 39:10.687 --> 39:11.587 We should go into politics. 39:11.807 --> 39:12.748 We really should. 39:12.788 --> 39:17.410 Some kind of extreme right wing party for anti-litter on the anti-litter vote. 39:18.044 --> 39:20.146 Anyway, here's some music for you now, listeners. 39:20.386 --> 39:21.887 This is the Boomtown Rats. 39:21.907 --> 39:23.088 Have you heard of the Boomtown Rats, Joe? 39:23.388 --> 39:23.628 No. 39:23.648 --> 39:25.370 There's a hairy man in charge. 39:25.690 --> 39:25.950 Right. 39:25.970 --> 39:27.211 And he's out to change the world. 39:27.351 --> 39:28.512 Is he a charitable activist? 39:28.692 --> 39:29.813 Yeah, that kind of thing. 39:30.134 --> 39:30.814 He's a genius. 39:31.254 --> 39:34.477 And he's written a song here called I Never Loved Eva Braun. 39:34.517 --> 39:37.459 Hey, why doesn't he give all his money to charity? 39:37.940 --> 39:38.680 I think he's done that. 39:38.780 --> 39:39.101 Has he? 39:39.201 --> 39:39.481 Yeah. 39:39.561 --> 39:40.742 Oh, he's a multi-millionaire. 39:40.942 --> 39:41.822 He lives in a box now. 39:42.123 --> 39:42.423 Does he? 39:42.683 --> 39:43.403 In a shoe box. 39:43.683 --> 39:44.204 I hope so. 39:44.264 --> 39:45.904 Otherwise, wouldn't it be a tiny bit hypocritical? 39:45.924 --> 39:46.585 It'd be cynical. 39:46.745 --> 39:47.045 Yeah. 39:47.625 --> 39:51.187 I mean, what if he ran a hugely lucrative media company? 39:51.287 --> 39:52.107 Oh, come on. 39:52.167 --> 39:53.748 He's doing his bit for the world. 39:53.768 --> 39:54.108 You're right. 39:54.128 --> 39:55.169 He's doing more than I'm doing. 39:55.469 --> 39:55.829 Exactly. 39:55.849 --> 39:56.289 What are you doing? 39:56.309 --> 39:58.650 You're pledging imaginary... That was you. 39:58.950 --> 40:01.832 Imaginary winnings from... I'm helping sort out the litter problem. 40:02.872 --> 40:20.403 This is the boomtown rats from their second album I believe it was called a tonic for the troops and this is a track called I never loved Eva Braun enjoy the boomtown rats with I never loved Eva Braun this is Adam and Joe here on BBC six music we're gonna return to text the nation right now and We don't do we need to play the jingle here? 40:20.423 --> 40:24.786 Let's not let's go straight into the we can't go straight into it without the jingle all right fair enough 40:30.361 --> 40:39.068 Do you think that jingle's gonna be overplayed? 40:39.448 --> 40:41.930 Well, do you think it was overplayed and it's come back round again? 40:41.950 --> 40:43.371 I'm a little bit worried about it, yeah. 40:43.431 --> 40:43.712 Are you? 40:43.872 --> 40:45.873 Let's get in, let's have some jokes. 40:46.073 --> 40:46.294 Okay. 40:46.314 --> 40:46.894 I'm excited. 40:47.475 --> 40:48.555 Here are some good jokes. 40:48.575 --> 40:50.797 So here's one very good joke that's coming from Dermot. 40:51.057 --> 40:55.681 And what I like about this joke is the sort of effort that it takes to set it up. 40:56.481 --> 40:57.903 when compared to the payoff. 40:58.323 --> 41:02.326 Text the Nation this week if you've just tuned in is it's all about jokes you've made up yourself. 41:02.506 --> 41:10.373 It has to be genuine, they have to be sort of stupid bits of wordplay that occur to you and you construct some sort of insane logical scheme to turn them into a joke. 41:10.413 --> 41:11.634 You work backwards, yeah? 41:11.734 --> 41:13.855 Yeah, the more rubbish the better. 41:14.936 --> 41:15.176 Here we go. 41:15.196 --> 41:15.316 What? 41:32.063 --> 41:36.848 What did one sheep farmer from Market Harbor say to the other after a hard day's work? 41:37.448 --> 41:37.869 I don't know. 41:38.069 --> 41:40.371 That's less to shear. 41:41.272 --> 41:42.874 That's less to shear. 41:43.134 --> 41:43.654 Quite good. 41:43.975 --> 41:48.980 Well, I like the fact that you have to get Market Harbor in, which is in less to shear. 41:49.520 --> 41:51.862 And you have to get sheep farmers, obviously. 41:52.143 --> 41:53.244 That's quite good, isn't it? 41:53.504 --> 41:53.904 Yeah. 41:53.984 --> 41:55.765 But it's labored and that's what I like about it. 41:55.805 --> 41:56.546 It's very labored. 41:57.146 --> 42:03.429 I mean it's a good joke though, there must be some... It would never appear in a stand-up routine, would it? 42:03.609 --> 42:04.169 I don't know. 42:04.329 --> 42:09.452 But yet still the guy that thought of it, and this guy who's heard of it, they can't get it out of their heads. 42:09.612 --> 42:10.993 It's got some intrinsic worth. 42:11.633 --> 42:13.634 It's hard to find an application for it. 42:13.834 --> 42:18.617 Well, there's a good, I mean, there's a home for all jokes, you know, it's just a question of finding that home. 42:18.657 --> 42:20.058 Yeah, it's here on this program. 42:21.780 --> 42:25.362 Hi Adam and Jo, here's a joke I made up and have used in social circles several times. 42:25.742 --> 42:28.084 What do you call an Italian who can talk to the dead? 42:29.045 --> 42:29.585 Oh, I don't know. 42:29.605 --> 42:30.926 You should be able to guess this one. 42:32.727 --> 42:33.388 No, I can't. 42:33.468 --> 42:34.329 Luigi board. 42:35.009 --> 42:36.270 That's very good. 42:36.710 --> 42:39.772 Thanks Gareth in Lantwit Major. 42:40.132 --> 42:41.733 Yeah, that's not going to the retirement home. 42:41.753 --> 42:42.273 That's brilliant. 42:43.134 --> 42:43.794 Oh, here's another one. 42:43.834 --> 42:45.575 My brother also claims he made this one up. 42:45.815 --> 42:46.515 What time? 42:46.535 --> 42:46.956 Sorry, mate. 42:47.216 --> 42:48.937 I'm just laughing at the Ouija board. 42:49.817 --> 42:51.278 Okay, my brother claims he made this one up. 42:51.358 --> 42:53.599 What time is Sean Connery going to Wimbledon? 42:54.420 --> 42:54.680 Tennis. 42:56.912 --> 42:57.573 That's good. 42:57.613 --> 42:58.253 That's amazing. 42:58.273 --> 42:59.034 That's good. 42:59.394 --> 43:00.355 Did he really make that up? 43:00.395 --> 43:01.035 I'm impressed. 43:01.075 --> 43:02.857 Yeah, his brother, his brother. 43:02.957 --> 43:04.558 The brother isn't named Gareth's brother. 43:04.578 --> 43:05.339 That's very good. 43:05.439 --> 43:06.479 That's a funny family. 43:06.660 --> 43:07.300 Ten-ish. 43:10.222 --> 43:11.724 Here's a really confusing one. 43:11.784 --> 43:12.564 Oh, no, I get it now. 43:12.684 --> 43:13.305 I get it now. 43:13.585 --> 43:16.707 I made up a joke the other day, says Captain Luton. 43:17.208 --> 43:20.951 What do you call a posh TV presenter dancing to reggae in a peat bog? 43:22.292 --> 43:25.354 That's got three different conditioning things. 43:26.635 --> 43:27.796 Fen Bogle. 43:28.757 --> 43:30.779 It's like Ben Fogle backwards. 43:30.939 --> 43:31.379 Was that good? 43:31.459 --> 43:32.600 No, it took too much thought. 43:32.740 --> 43:33.601 Absolutely wrong. 43:33.881 --> 43:35.122 It didn't really boing. 43:36.403 --> 43:37.124 Whose is that one? 43:37.264 --> 43:38.865 That was from Captain Luton. 43:38.965 --> 43:40.366 That's a disgrace, Captain Luton. 43:40.566 --> 43:46.071 Emma in Witness in Cheshire says, Hi, Adam and Joe, this is a bespoke gem from my boyfriend, Nick. 43:46.371 --> 43:48.633 What do you call a cannibalistic public speaker? 43:49.253 --> 43:49.634 We don't know. 43:49.714 --> 43:50.795 Hannibal Lectern. 43:51.315 --> 43:51.655 Nice. 43:51.715 --> 43:52.316 That's good. 43:52.796 --> 43:55.238 I mean, I feel that that must have been made before. 43:55.258 --> 43:55.638 Do you think? 43:55.899 --> 43:56.159 Yeah. 43:56.639 --> 43:57.420 These are very good. 43:57.460 --> 43:58.661 I mean, we could put some kind of joke. 43:58.921 --> 44:01.043 You know, these are better than cracker jokes at the very least. 44:01.083 --> 44:02.224 They're much better than cracker jokes. 44:02.264 --> 44:02.964 Keep them coming in. 44:03.205 --> 44:04.265 What's the text number there? 44:04.346 --> 44:05.146 I keep forgetting it. 44:06.147 --> 44:05.146 64046. 44:06.227 --> 44:06.808 Nice one. 44:06.988 --> 44:07.828 Here's a bit more music. 44:07.848 --> 44:08.209 Who's this? 44:08.249 --> 44:09.770 This is Dan Black with Alone. 44:10.150 --> 44:10.831 Just ignore it. 44:10.871 --> 44:11.792 Then it'll leave you alone. 44:11.832 --> 44:12.572 That's Dan Black. 44:12.612 --> 44:14.554 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC 6 Music. 44:14.634 --> 44:15.475 It's just gone. 44:15.495 --> 44:15.475 10.30. 44:15.895 --> 44:16.836 It's time for the news. 44:17.356 --> 44:20.619 That was a soul to soul with get a life. 44:20.799 --> 44:21.540 Get a life. 44:21.560 --> 44:23.461 And this is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music. 44:23.842 --> 44:24.662 Oh, back pain. 44:24.803 --> 44:25.964 Oh, have you got a little bit of quenching there? 44:25.984 --> 44:26.904 You've got back pain. 44:26.924 --> 44:27.425 Oh, man. 44:27.465 --> 44:28.246 How about a kneel? 44:28.666 --> 44:28.786 Ow. 44:28.866 --> 44:29.707 We're getting old. 44:30.347 --> 44:32.369 Is this the first time I've ever had back pain? 44:32.389 --> 44:33.210 It's awful, man. 44:33.270 --> 44:34.471 Get ready, you know, get used to it. 44:34.491 --> 44:35.192 This is what happens. 44:35.312 --> 44:35.552 Is it? 44:35.712 --> 44:36.993 No one talks about these things. 44:37.013 --> 44:38.454 Oh, I'm gonna, you're gonna have to handle this one. 44:38.955 --> 44:39.215 Mate. 44:39.475 --> 44:40.676 Well, I was, you know, I was thinking. 44:40.696 --> 44:41.277 I'm going, I'm going. 44:41.437 --> 44:42.378 Are you really in trouble there? 44:42.478 --> 44:42.878 Goodbye, goodbye. 44:42.898 --> 44:44.239 You need some bone cracking. 44:45.120 --> 44:47.361 Joe's actually kneeling on the floor of the studio now. 44:47.401 --> 44:50.403 She's actually kneeling on the floor of the studio! 44:50.923 --> 44:52.183 Well, it looks eccentric. 44:53.304 --> 44:58.006 Uh, you know, I was looking at the, um, caramel digestives that Yare left earlier on there. 44:58.026 --> 44:58.966 Did he? 44:58.986 --> 44:59.907 Uh, right here, look at them. 45:00.047 --> 45:00.607 Oh, look at them. 45:01.368 --> 45:02.688 And I've already snaffled one of them. 45:02.708 --> 45:03.148 Really? 45:03.208 --> 45:08.491 I'd like to snaffle loads more, but, you know, the thing that's putting me off at the moment, apart from the fact that, obviously, 45:09.291 --> 45:12.114 There's just all kinds of encroaching fatness problems. 45:12.935 --> 45:17.739 Is that advert on the telly for the warning about strokes? 45:18.180 --> 45:19.721 Have you seen that one, the NHS one? 45:20.041 --> 45:22.103 Yeah, the man in his face melts. 45:22.283 --> 45:24.966 There's a one where a man at a football match in his face is melting. 45:25.006 --> 45:28.469 Joe is now lying on the floor of the studio, listening. 45:28.929 --> 45:30.671 That's the sound of him moving his microphone. 45:30.691 --> 45:31.572 It's just better for the back. 45:32.571 --> 45:33.312 He's now lying. 45:33.332 --> 45:35.413 It's like a Howard Stern program or something. 45:35.853 --> 45:36.374 Keep talking. 45:37.435 --> 45:40.277 Well, your back's suddenly twinged and now you have to lie on the floor. 45:40.637 --> 45:41.638 Yeah, keep going though. 45:42.418 --> 45:44.400 But you know the ads I mean, right? 45:44.440 --> 45:44.680 Yes. 45:44.980 --> 45:51.645 I mean, are they not the most horrific thing you have ever seen on TV in your life? 45:52.005 --> 46:01.632 Like the scale of horror that I have not seen on tellies since the 80s when they used to have stuff about nuclear war and things like that, you know what I mean? 46:01.952 --> 46:02.212 Yes. 46:02.792 --> 46:04.033 Are you getting up now? 46:04.433 --> 46:04.673 Yes. 46:05.593 --> 46:06.074 That's better now. 46:06.094 --> 46:06.914 It's better now. 46:06.954 --> 46:11.956 The thing I think about those adverts is they usually use a technique that you've seen in a feature film. 46:12.796 --> 46:18.218 They had one for road traffic accidents that used the horror effects from Japanese horror films. 46:18.978 --> 46:23.561 where a sort of a body whose bones are all broken gets up and starts to walk. 46:24.222 --> 46:28.024 A bit like the famous spider walking sequence that was cut out of the film The Exorcist. 46:28.084 --> 46:33.108 Well, it was a girl had been knocked over and she was lying by a tree and then the film starts going backwards. 46:33.268 --> 46:41.493 Yeah, but often you've seen the technique they use in a horror film a couple of years before and the stroke one is very reminiscent of Steven Spielberg's AI. 46:41.753 --> 46:42.034 Yes. 46:42.134 --> 46:46.677 When Hailey Joel Osmert's robot boy eats some real food instead of sympathy food. 46:46.717 --> 46:47.777 And his face goes wonkaloid. 46:48.698 --> 46:51.441 It's awful. 46:51.501 --> 46:53.382 I mean, that's a horrific moment in that film. 46:53.903 --> 47:00.369 But in reality, when they're actually talking to you about something that really happens to people, it happens to an alarming amount of people, you know. 47:00.889 --> 47:03.251 Stroke also known as a brain attack of course. 47:05.768 --> 47:06.268 Well, I don't know. 47:06.288 --> 47:07.389 I was hoping you might provide one. 47:08.389 --> 47:13.112 I mean, the good thing... I'm finding it hard to, you know, see an opening for anything upbeat. 47:13.152 --> 47:17.174 There's got to be a fun spin on strokes and brain attacks, isn't there? 47:18.475 --> 47:18.615 No. 47:18.915 --> 47:21.856 Well, the thing... I guess the upbeat thing would be awareness, wouldn't it? 47:22.357 --> 47:22.617 Yeah. 47:22.797 --> 47:24.258 And talk... talking about it. 47:24.358 --> 47:25.098 Yeah, well done. 47:25.238 --> 47:34.083 Because that's the... that's the upbeat thing that people try and find in these very frightening situations is awareness and spreading knowledge. 47:35.163 --> 47:35.724 Fast. 47:36.164 --> 47:39.228 Fast is the acronym you have to remember with strokes, isn't it? 47:39.248 --> 47:39.628 What is that? 47:39.648 --> 47:41.390 I can't remember. 47:41.570 --> 47:42.351 F is for face. 47:42.391 --> 47:43.712 Is your face going wonky? 47:44.373 --> 47:46.435 A is arms. 47:46.475 --> 47:47.537 Can you raise your arms? 47:47.557 --> 47:47.877 S is stroke. 47:52.182 --> 47:54.104 T is trouble. 47:54.624 --> 47:55.866 That's what we're going to get into. 47:56.166 --> 47:56.446 Yeah. 47:56.647 --> 47:57.788 If we carry on talking about this. 47:57.808 --> 48:11.203 Basically, it's all about recognizing the signs for stroke and phoning the emergency services as quickly as possible because the faster you act, the more or the less damage that might be done to the brain is the thing. 48:11.724 --> 48:12.865 Have you thought of an upbeat ending yet? 48:13.005 --> 48:13.406 No! 48:14.607 --> 48:18.170 I tell you, the upbeat ending is to play Daniel by Bat for Lashes. 48:18.310 --> 48:18.991 Alright, here it is. 48:19.291 --> 48:23.054 Lovely, lovely Natasha Khan with Daniel. 48:24.416 --> 48:25.577 Uh, Bat for Lashes, of course. 48:25.657 --> 48:26.958 This is Adam and Joe here on Six Music. 48:27.398 --> 48:30.481 Now, do we have a juvenile jingle by any chance? 48:30.541 --> 48:32.063 I sprung that one on you there, Geoff. 48:32.103 --> 48:32.904 Sorry about that. 48:33.084 --> 48:36.327 Geoff is filling in for our regular producer, Ben, here on Six Music. 48:37.288 --> 48:38.529 This is quite a challenge for Geoff. 48:38.649 --> 48:40.150 Yeah, he's got us scrambling. 48:52.561 --> 49:07.675 So a few weeks ago we were playing clips that we'd unearthed of ourselves as children pretending to be DJs on fictional radio stations and we asked you the listeners to send us any old tapes you had of yourselves pretending to be on the radio and doing juvenile DJing 49:08.575 --> 49:11.736 And this is another example of the form is is it yes? 49:11.796 --> 49:12.576 This is well. 49:12.637 --> 49:20.839 It's not so much DJ as just rambling right, but I think it's maybe the youngest Person that we've had sending in their stuff. 49:21.019 --> 49:32.383 I put I put that very badly no you put it well I mean I mean generally several people have sent in mp3's of themselves as little children, and it's yeah It's something that it has to be really particularly insane and 49:32.643 --> 49:32.923 Yes. 49:33.003 --> 49:38.088 To really be playable, because children kind of are insane to a degree at that age aren't they? 49:38.108 --> 49:38.308 They are. 49:38.368 --> 49:39.349 It's to be expected. 49:39.529 --> 49:39.989 Exactly. 49:40.009 --> 49:42.971 But some of them do punch through, you know, once... The insanity bubble. 49:43.032 --> 49:43.452 Yeah, yeah. 49:43.972 --> 49:45.373 I would say this is a good example of that. 49:45.393 --> 49:50.858 This is from Ruth, she's from Leeds, and she writes in, hey guys, the attached clip 49:51.118 --> 49:58.361 is taken from one of the tapes I used to play with when I was little, roughly 1982 or 1983. 49:58.601 --> 50:00.282 I would have been about four years old. 50:00.622 --> 50:04.683 As you'll gather from the clips, I was most definitely unhinged as a child. 50:05.023 --> 50:14.247 And the tape recorder was the only way my parents could get me to direct my incessant gibberish, most of it about Paul McCartney, bizarrely, in a direction other than theirs. 50:14.827 --> 50:24.614 The clips, fairly typical of my rantings at the time, cover topics from marriage to support, magic, murder and cannibalism, also to do with Paul McCartney. 50:25.295 --> 50:31.880 She also talks about how she then vomits Paul McCartney out and later goes to bed with him, but not really. 50:32.840 --> 50:36.562 This is all I should remind you from the point of view of a four year old girl from Leeds. 50:36.902 --> 50:37.663 She's four. 50:37.723 --> 50:37.923 Yeah. 50:38.023 --> 50:43.345 And she says, and it's very, when you hear it, it's quite a sophisticated world of insanity that she conjures. 50:43.946 --> 50:50.249 She then says, now it's sort of a family joke that anyone, oh yeah, basically the first clip that we're going to play. 50:51.069 --> 50:51.790 Walking along the road. 51:18.547 --> 51:21.209 And I felt like I was a rotten potato. 51:21.610 --> 51:24.873 And I can make pomegranate into a model. 51:25.913 --> 51:29.417 So I squeezed plastic into him. 51:30.598 --> 51:33.200 And he peered into a dolly. 51:33.680 --> 51:35.162 Which is into a dolly. 51:35.182 --> 51:37.984 You're a dolly! 51:38.004 --> 51:40.306 Of course I am. 51:42.308 --> 51:43.649 I see. 51:43.909 --> 51:44.430 Serana. 51:46.092 --> 51:47.814 Now I married Paul McCartney. 51:49.035 --> 51:50.776 See if that works. 51:50.796 --> 51:51.496 See if that works. 51:51.737 --> 51:52.717 Yeah, that's her test. 51:53.098 --> 51:54.138 Have a go with that and see if that works. 51:54.178 --> 51:56.760 That's the standard test for any bit of audio equipment. 51:57.321 --> 52:02.544 I was walking along the road and I felt like I was a rotten potato and I can make Paul McCartney into a model. 52:04.166 --> 52:06.287 So there's the first clip of Ruth there. 52:06.607 --> 52:10.851 Now she continues and she just is freestyling this stuff all about Macca. 52:11.471 --> 52:13.412 And it goes a little bit weird and dark. 52:13.812 --> 52:19.373 She basically puts Paul McCartney into a cauldron, puts the lid on, switches it on, locks the lid. 52:19.433 --> 52:20.434 Hey, don't give it away. 52:20.734 --> 52:21.054 Okay. 52:21.134 --> 52:22.894 Isn't it... is it clear when she says it? 52:23.514 --> 52:26.435 Yeah, semi, but I'm just orientating you, getting you ready. 52:26.455 --> 52:32.237 If there's anyone who's upset by cannibalising a beetle, maybe look the other way now. 52:32.377 --> 52:33.757 Here's the second clip for you. 52:34.097 --> 52:40.119 One day, I walked along in the street and I happened to say what I was disappearing. 52:40.968 --> 52:42.749 Ochus pochus, tilly ochus. 52:43.249 --> 52:45.290 Me at home, I can't, they disappeared. 52:45.911 --> 52:47.131 And I put a spill on him. 52:50.813 --> 52:56.936 And then, I put him in a cold one, put the lid on it, switched it on, and I locked the lid. 52:56.956 --> 53:01.218 And then he tried to get out, but I was cooking him. 53:01.879 --> 53:03.339 And it disappeared. 53:05.921 --> 53:10.343 And I turned it off, and I locked the lid, and I pulled it off, 53:11.178 --> 53:14.788 Paul McCartney was just full, so I ate him. 53:14.808 --> 53:16.853 I ate me all. 53:16.873 --> 53:18.477 Oh he's still alive. 53:18.537 --> 53:19.881 Paul McCartney. 53:21.026 --> 53:22.507 So she feels sorry for him. 53:22.788 --> 53:23.968 He was just food. 53:24.008 --> 53:24.208 Yeah. 53:24.389 --> 53:25.229 So I ate him. 53:25.950 --> 53:28.731 Oh, Paul, my car. 53:29.092 --> 53:30.913 Now, I think we got Ruth on the line here. 53:30.973 --> 53:31.733 Ruth, are you there? 53:32.174 --> 53:32.514 I'm here. 53:32.534 --> 53:32.874 Hello. 53:33.034 --> 53:34.715 So this is Ruth in present day. 53:34.776 --> 53:36.297 Now, how old are you, incidentally, Ruth? 53:36.517 --> 53:37.317 I'm 30 now. 53:37.377 --> 53:38.958 You don't ask that to a lady. 53:39.939 --> 53:41.420 I know it's rude to ask it to a lady. 53:41.460 --> 53:42.841 Joe finds that very offensive. 53:42.861 --> 53:43.802 That was offensive. 53:43.962 --> 53:46.864 In conjunction with Juvenilia, it's just interesting. 53:47.024 --> 53:48.905 So that was over 25 years ago there, Ruth. 53:50.986 --> 53:52.868 And how have things turned out for you since? 53:52.888 --> 53:57.753 I think I managed to keep my own sanity to a kind of hidden level. 53:58.013 --> 54:00.096 I mean it was at a fairly high level. 54:00.276 --> 54:04.460 Were you quite a precocious child? 54:05.100 --> 54:06.562 Yeah, I think my parents would say that, yes. 54:06.922 --> 54:12.608 It was literally the only way they could get me to kind of, well not shut up, but kind of go away and run into something else. 54:12.870 --> 54:14.671 Why the Paul McCartney obsession, Ruth? 54:14.751 --> 54:15.471 I really don't know. 54:15.491 --> 54:17.632 I think we only had a few cassettes. 54:18.052 --> 54:20.272 And one of them that we had was the Blue Album. 54:20.672 --> 54:22.353 Seven to seventy hits. 54:23.013 --> 54:25.114 And I just kind of went from there, really. 54:25.174 --> 54:32.256 And do you still feel anger towards McCartney or sort of hunger cravings? 54:32.356 --> 54:33.497 I still love The Beatles. 54:33.517 --> 54:34.897 I'm actually trying to work out whether 54:35.481 --> 54:39.124 I'll be considered more or less crazy than Heather Mills. 54:39.404 --> 54:47.450 Well, you know, the thing is that if you analyzed it from a psychological point of view, it's a fairly accurate analysis of what goes into being a super fan. 54:47.530 --> 54:48.010 You know what I mean? 54:48.310 --> 54:53.314 That feeling of wanting to own the person to the extent that you make them into a model. 54:53.914 --> 54:56.195 I mean, I'm over-analyzing this, Ruth, obviously. 54:56.255 --> 54:57.255 For a four-year-old, yeah. 54:57.275 --> 55:02.176 But, you know, you want to make them into model, you want to cook them and eat them literally. 55:02.216 --> 55:05.617 Those are feelings that many superfans can relate to, I would say. 55:05.637 --> 55:07.777 You want to cook them and eat them? 55:07.877 --> 55:08.157 Yeah. 55:08.497 --> 55:08.938 Don't you think? 55:08.958 --> 55:10.938 I don't, I'm not sure. 55:11.538 --> 55:12.798 If you really analysed it. 55:12.898 --> 55:15.899 If you really, really love a particular artist. 55:15.939 --> 55:16.339 Kylie. 55:16.539 --> 55:17.960 You would like to cook and eat Kylie. 55:17.980 --> 55:18.560 Cook and eat them. 55:18.720 --> 55:19.120 Surely. 55:19.580 --> 55:29.764 I don't know, I'd say that was a little bit unhinged, because at the end, Ruth, you start talking about the idea of just going to bed with Paul McCartney. 55:29.804 --> 55:31.125 Let's play that little clip there. 55:31.485 --> 55:32.645 It was so tiny. 55:32.825 --> 55:36.046 It was big up first, but you ate me. 55:37.067 --> 55:38.067 Oh, sorry. 55:38.768 --> 55:47.071 But it fell in love with me, and we both went to bed and cuddled each other. 55:49.738 --> 55:51.679 Oh, that's what you do when you love someone. 55:51.739 --> 55:52.939 Cuddle them and sing music. 55:52.959 --> 55:53.579 Go to bed. 55:54.059 --> 55:54.839 Oh, that's lovely. 55:56.340 --> 56:01.001 And have you, I mean, are you still a bit of a Paul McCartney fan? 56:04.642 --> 56:10.563 If you had a choice between cooking him or going to bed and cuddling him now, which one would you choose? 56:11.103 --> 56:13.404 The cooking and the eating or the cuddling and the singing? 56:15.555 --> 56:16.255 It's a tough choice. 56:16.676 --> 56:18.518 I don't know, I'd go with the cuddling. 56:18.718 --> 56:20.980 Yeah, because you're not going to get much meat off him. 56:21.000 --> 56:23.082 You were getting terrific trouble for cooking him. 56:23.663 --> 56:24.083 Definitely. 56:24.183 --> 56:25.484 I mean, you'd be arrested. 56:26.345 --> 56:28.407 The music press would go wild. 56:28.427 --> 56:32.151 The press itself would go wild, not just the music papers. 56:32.171 --> 56:33.793 That would make the headlines, certainly. 56:33.993 --> 56:35.474 It would be a national scandal. 56:36.455 --> 56:39.457 Need be delicious which part of him would be most delicious. 56:39.477 --> 56:42.379 How would you flavor him carrots couple of onions? 56:42.719 --> 56:51.464 There's got to be some very funny Beatles based Seasoning jokes here surely I'm confident there are Ruth. 56:51.624 --> 57:01.890 Thank you so much for talking to us and for sending in your clip And what's it what's your job incidentally before you go I'm always curious to I'm an IT consultant trying to help the NHS 57:03.908 --> 57:04.388 Good for you. 57:04.428 --> 57:04.728 Well done. 57:04.768 --> 57:05.849 That's a job that needs doing. 57:06.069 --> 57:07.109 All strength to your arm. 57:07.509 --> 57:08.030 Absolutely. 57:08.370 --> 57:08.830 Cheers, Ruth. 57:08.870 --> 57:09.630 Have a good weekend. 57:10.370 --> 57:19.494 And listeners, if you've got a demented audio of yourself, you know, ideally DJing or something, or maybe this that maybe the remit's got too broad now. 57:19.814 --> 57:21.695 I'm interested in anything that's just amusing. 57:21.715 --> 57:23.855 I mean, that's good because it relates to a musician. 57:24.036 --> 57:25.016 Yeah, isn't it? 57:26.719 --> 57:27.360 I like it. 57:27.380 --> 57:29.023 Juvenile recordings are fun to listen to. 57:29.043 --> 57:29.844 They're fun, they're fun. 57:29.924 --> 57:31.627 If you've got something good, send it in anyway. 57:31.667 --> 57:37.436 Yeah, the email address is Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk Right, now is this your free play, Joe, we've got? 57:37.536 --> 57:37.777 Is it? 57:38.057 --> 57:38.718 I don't know, is it? 57:38.979 --> 57:39.359 What is it? 57:40.000 --> 57:41.082 It's your free play. 57:42.345 --> 57:45.126 Oh yeah, this is a lovely bit of reggae. 57:45.226 --> 57:46.046 Is that how you pronounce it? 57:46.106 --> 57:46.386 Reggy. 57:46.526 --> 57:46.846 Reggy. 57:47.126 --> 57:47.806 Reggy for you. 57:47.846 --> 57:49.067 This is Johnny Osborne. 57:49.087 --> 57:51.267 That's the House Martins with Happy Hour. 57:51.327 --> 57:55.628 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 57:56.168 --> 57:57.049 Sorry about that fella. 57:57.089 --> 57:58.449 Inability to do the talking. 57:58.489 --> 58:00.809 Was that even a session track recorded for John Peel? 58:00.850 --> 58:01.670 Sounded very good. 58:01.690 --> 58:02.370 Sounded brilliant. 58:02.470 --> 58:02.730 Yeah. 58:03.070 --> 58:04.171 Norman Cook's finest hour. 58:04.452 --> 58:05.533 Been downhill ever since. 58:05.633 --> 58:06.774 Hey, that's not very nice. 58:07.134 --> 58:10.698 He's going through trubs in pubs or trubs getting out of pubs at the moment. 58:12.259 --> 58:13.701 Mr Cook, we should support him. 58:13.801 --> 58:14.281 Absolutely. 58:14.362 --> 58:15.323 Of course we should support Cook. 58:15.343 --> 58:16.524 Terrible situation to be in. 58:16.544 --> 58:17.184 And his struggle. 58:18.145 --> 58:21.208 When your creativity is tied to some kind of substance abuse, 58:21.869 --> 58:23.610 I thought you were going to walk away from that. 58:23.670 --> 58:26.051 No, I genuinely think it's a terrible problem. 58:26.151 --> 58:26.731 Obviously. 58:26.951 --> 58:31.033 Yeah, because he thinks if he stops the booze, he won't have the creative talent. 58:31.073 --> 58:31.814 Oh, is that what he said? 58:31.834 --> 58:33.875 Yeah, lots of artists get into that bind, you know. 58:34.055 --> 58:39.137 When you're young and you link your creativity to drinking or something like that, then it's very difficult. 58:39.157 --> 58:45.380 Then you get successful or you earn your living by it, then suddenly you can't kick the ding dong because you lose the bing bong. 58:45.660 --> 58:48.202 You think that's part of your mojo, right? 58:48.322 --> 58:48.582 Yeah. 58:48.982 --> 58:50.123 That's not true, though, kids. 58:50.343 --> 58:51.183 It's not true, no. 58:51.423 --> 58:52.684 It'll go in a different direction. 58:52.824 --> 58:53.264 Exactly. 58:53.284 --> 58:56.426 But there's many clean and sober artists who have made their best work. 58:56.786 --> 58:57.106 Yeah. 58:57.527 --> 58:59.828 When they've struggled their way out of the bottle. 59:00.108 --> 59:00.548 Well done. 59:00.848 --> 59:03.690 And into the retirement home. 59:04.690 --> 59:05.170 No, I don't. 59:05.370 --> 59:06.271 I don't know what I'm talking about. 59:06.851 --> 59:07.831 Listen, we're gonna... Yeah. 59:08.191 --> 59:09.011 Text the nation time. 59:09.191 --> 59:09.491 Time. 59:09.511 --> 59:09.752 Time. 59:09.992 --> 59:10.472 Jingle, please. 59:10.512 --> 59:11.512 Oh, no, not the jingle. 59:11.552 --> 59:12.292 Oh, no, not the jingle. 59:12.332 --> 59:12.792 Not the jingle. 59:12.912 --> 59:15.053 I mean... How dare you try and play the jingle? 59:15.073 --> 59:15.993 That's over jingle. 59:16.013 --> 59:16.914 That's ridiculous. 59:16.934 --> 59:19.754 You know, because we've had the jingle, what, six times already today? 59:19.774 --> 59:22.095 I mean, that is way over jingle. 59:22.535 --> 59:23.875 Maybe we need a new jingle. 59:23.915 --> 59:25.916 I do miss the punctuation. 59:25.936 --> 59:29.917 Yeah, I mean, that's the point of the jingle, but it's too long to speak. 59:30.417 --> 59:33.177 That's why we have the contracted jingle, so that you can... Text the nation. 59:33.257 --> 59:34.238 Text, text the nation. 59:34.558 --> 59:39.219 I do have a very short jingle, but then people complain that we haven't played the... Oh, let's just play the long one. 59:39.239 --> 59:42.399 Text the nation. 59:42.439 --> 59:43.500 Text, text, text. 59:43.600 --> 59:44.340 Text the nation. 59:44.400 --> 59:45.380 What if I don't want to? 59:45.620 --> 59:46.340 Text the nation. 59:46.440 --> 59:47.440 But I'm using email. 59:47.601 --> 59:48.341 Is that a problem? 59:48.381 --> 59:48.921 It doesn't matter. 59:48.961 --> 59:49.221 Text! 59:51.448 --> 59:52.068 I've had an idea. 59:52.948 --> 59:54.729 What about we get listeners to send in jingles? 59:54.929 --> 59:55.709 Good idea. 59:55.789 --> 59:59.531 Because it's not as challenging as asking people to send in full songs. 01:00:00.231 --> 01:00:07.113 But listeners, if you've got GarageBand or another sort of music making software program, there are others out there. 01:00:07.313 --> 01:00:09.354 Or just God-given skills. 01:00:09.674 --> 01:00:10.734 Yeah, exactly. 01:00:10.754 --> 01:00:12.174 It could be acapella. 01:00:13.235 --> 01:00:18.076 You could do it with crisp packets and cereal boxes and pots and pans. 01:00:19.616 --> 01:00:26.498 If you think you can come up with a good jingle for our show, for use anywhere in the show, then please create it and send it to us. 01:00:26.698 --> 01:00:28.360 It doesn't have to be for an existing feature. 01:00:28.420 --> 01:00:32.165 It could just be, like, for, you know, Adam and Joe are gonna do some talking. 01:00:32.205 --> 01:00:36.951 Yeah, if there's a recurring thing, maybe you've observed that happens in the show that we're unaware of. 01:00:37.291 --> 01:00:38.913 You know, we can't see the wood for the trees. 01:00:38.953 --> 01:00:40.355 Try not to make it too offensive. 01:00:40.375 --> 01:00:41.837 Well, it can be a little bit offensive. 01:00:41.857 --> 01:00:42.538 No swearing. 01:00:42.758 --> 01:00:42.898 No. 01:00:42.979 --> 01:00:45.542 But if you sent those to us, we would definitely play them. 01:00:45.862 --> 01:01:10.140 yeah don't you think if they were any good if they were wow what if even if they were a bit shoddy if we could laugh at them or they were any good then we'd play them anyway text the nation uh this week is all about jokes you think you've made up right yes you have a funny thought or you're watching telly and or reading something and a bit of word play pops into your head you start building a brilliant joke around it gavin and starzy 01:01:10.780 --> 01:01:12.160 Yeah, I'm not going to say mine again. 01:01:12.301 --> 01:01:12.601 Go on. 01:01:13.621 --> 01:01:15.302 Why don't you get out of digestion? 01:01:15.482 --> 01:01:16.022 Brilliant. 01:01:17.782 --> 01:01:21.243 Anyway, so they've been coming in hand over fist and here are some good ones. 01:01:21.263 --> 01:01:23.484 This is from Newton Crosby in Birmingham. 01:01:23.924 --> 01:01:25.925 What's a cannibal's favourite pop group? 01:01:29.306 --> 01:01:30.207 Think about it. 01:01:30.807 --> 01:01:32.308 Cannibal's favourite pop group? 01:01:33.809 --> 01:01:36.731 No, that's quite good. 01:01:36.791 --> 01:01:38.172 It's a bit obvious. 01:01:38.792 --> 01:01:39.893 No, there's no wordplay there. 01:01:39.933 --> 01:01:42.295 The answer is people. 01:01:43.175 --> 01:01:43.916 It's like M people. 01:01:43.956 --> 01:01:45.857 That's quite a good one, isn't it? 01:01:46.197 --> 01:01:46.818 Quite good. 01:01:47.178 --> 01:01:49.640 That's a bit of silence in the studio for that one, I'm afraid. 01:01:49.700 --> 01:01:51.021 Newton, Crosby and Birmingham. 01:01:51.541 --> 01:01:52.422 Plus the name. 01:01:52.502 --> 01:01:54.423 It sounds like he's got two place names. 01:01:54.723 --> 01:01:55.604 It looks better written down. 01:01:56.264 --> 01:01:56.604 Okay. 01:01:56.684 --> 01:01:59.186 Newton Crosby sounds like a town. 01:01:59.586 --> 01:02:01.847 Here's one from Liam Tucker in Hackney. 01:02:02.267 --> 01:02:04.228 He says, my dad is a ludicrous man. 01:02:04.768 --> 01:02:05.349 Here's a joke. 01:02:05.389 --> 01:02:06.229 Here's his best joke. 01:02:06.269 --> 01:02:08.410 What do you call a Scottish cow sitting down? 01:02:09.951 --> 01:02:10.952 Annie Lennox. 01:02:11.632 --> 01:02:14.593 Now, and then it says in brackets, a-ne-lin-ox. 01:02:16.775 --> 01:02:19.696 How would you possibly say that so that that joke came across? 01:02:20.256 --> 01:02:21.037 You could only write it. 01:02:21.157 --> 01:02:22.738 Annie Lennox. 01:02:26.237 --> 01:02:28.359 What do you call a Scottish cow sitting down? 01:02:28.379 --> 01:02:30.520 And hee-lee-nots! 01:02:31.321 --> 01:02:32.922 Your dad is a ludicrous man. 01:02:33.322 --> 01:02:34.023 He's wicked. 01:02:34.383 --> 01:02:35.164 I'd like to meet him. 01:02:35.304 --> 01:02:36.165 And hee-lee-nots. 01:02:37.205 --> 01:02:39.307 Now that's exactly what we're looking for. 01:02:39.387 --> 01:02:40.668 It takes the nation here. 01:02:41.549 --> 01:02:42.649 Really exhausting. 01:02:42.709 --> 01:02:45.071 I'm never going to be able to think of her the same way again now. 01:02:46.312 --> 01:02:47.533 Anilinox. 01:02:48.434 --> 01:02:51.656 Here's one from Paul in Cheltenham. 01:02:52.357 --> 01:02:52.937 Greetings. 01:02:53.157 --> 01:02:58.321 My joke is that pigeons are planning to take over the world because I heard them organizing a coup. 01:02:58.341 --> 01:03:00.983 It's just too good, you see. 01:03:01.564 --> 01:03:02.985 It's good, but it's too good. 01:03:03.185 --> 01:03:04.866 That's crack-a-joke territory, that one. 01:03:04.906 --> 01:03:05.426 Yeah, that is. 01:03:05.446 --> 01:03:07.348 You see, if that... Yeah. 01:03:07.848 --> 01:03:09.850 And some of them rely on wordplay. 01:03:09.870 --> 01:03:15.194 You see, the thing about anilinox, that would never occur to anybody. 01:03:16.355 --> 01:03:18.957 apart from Liam's father. 01:03:19.877 --> 01:03:24.221 We got others like, why do people study marine mammals for a sense of porpoise? 01:03:24.601 --> 01:03:25.421 That's good. 01:03:25.622 --> 01:03:28.864 No, but porpoise is too many jokes around the word porpoise. 01:03:28.884 --> 01:03:33.027 See, annealing ox would never get into a joke book or a cracker or anywhere like that. 01:03:33.147 --> 01:03:34.148 It really wouldn't. 01:03:34.188 --> 01:03:36.370 You see, me and Devon, this is too good as well. 01:03:36.810 --> 01:03:57.480 invented by him and and we got to reiterate these are jokes authored by the people who've sent them in as far as they believe as far as they believe great joke invented by me what do you call a moderate muslim leader mulla light that's got to have been used before surely that's a good one what do you get if you cross fergal sharky with bernard manning racist undertones says jina 01:03:58.360 --> 01:03:59.601 That's too slick, isn't it? 01:04:00.022 --> 01:04:00.822 They're too slick. 01:04:00.842 --> 01:04:01.703 That's a good one, though. 01:04:01.723 --> 01:04:05.266 I'm gonna try, I'm gonna look through them and try and find more, like, annealing ox. 01:04:06.667 --> 01:04:07.448 Oh, this is quite good. 01:04:07.688 --> 01:04:08.929 From Chris in Finsbury Park. 01:04:09.029 --> 01:04:11.031 What do you call a bungalow during a full moon? 01:04:11.431 --> 01:04:11.812 Don't know. 01:04:11.872 --> 01:04:12.472 A warehouse. 01:04:13.493 --> 01:04:14.955 It's like a werewolf. 01:04:15.075 --> 01:04:15.695 Right. 01:04:15.715 --> 01:04:16.476 They're too good. 01:04:17.157 --> 01:04:17.998 That's good. 01:04:18.258 --> 01:04:19.179 I mean, that's not that good. 01:04:19.359 --> 01:04:20.060 It's not that good. 01:04:20.140 --> 01:04:24.345 I'm going to look for some more really excruciating ones and we'll come back. 01:04:24.885 --> 01:04:27.848 Okay, are we going to play the stones, the rolling stones? 01:04:28.229 --> 01:04:30.131 It always makes me chuckle that we play the rolling stones. 01:04:30.191 --> 01:04:32.934 For some reason, they just seem like we never play the Beatles. 01:04:33.354 --> 01:04:34.695 Are we not allowed to play the Beatles? 01:04:35.296 --> 01:04:37.718 We play the Rolling Stones a lot, but we never get any Beatles. 01:04:38.118 --> 01:04:41.520 Are they covered by some PRS deal that excludes them from national airplay? 01:04:42.080 --> 01:04:43.401 Well, I think it should change. 01:04:43.881 --> 01:04:45.482 I like the Beatles better than the Stones. 01:04:45.842 --> 01:04:47.103 That's my prerogative. 01:04:47.343 --> 01:04:52.626 Do you think the listeners would be interested if we got the person who compiled the playlist in and chatted to them about their choices? 01:04:52.667 --> 01:04:53.807 Yeah, can we do that? 01:04:53.847 --> 01:04:57.469 It's quite mysterious how radio stations like this draw up their playlists, isn't it? 01:04:58.210 --> 01:04:58.430 Yeah. 01:04:58.530 --> 01:04:59.951 Or is that crossing some Rubicon? 01:05:00.151 --> 01:05:02.794 You're not really supposed to talk about that kind of thing, are you? 01:05:02.814 --> 01:05:05.818 But to explain to listeners, we sometimes get asked this question. 01:05:06.378 --> 01:05:08.921 You know, we pick our free plays. 01:05:08.981 --> 01:05:11.124 We get three each for the show. 01:05:11.304 --> 01:05:15.449 All the rest of the music you hear is chosen by a mysterious hooded man. 01:05:16.050 --> 01:05:17.071 The hooded man. 01:05:20.735 --> 01:05:24.658 We don't even know his name, but he's a very nice and he's a music expert here at Six Music. 01:05:25.099 --> 01:05:28.281 But yeah, he's got a problem with the Beatles and he favours the Stones. 01:05:28.361 --> 01:05:29.282 Anyway, I'm not complaining. 01:05:29.302 --> 01:05:29.943 This is a good song. 01:05:29.983 --> 01:05:31.184 This is Let's Spend the Night Together. 01:05:31.384 --> 01:05:33.606 So yes, the Rolling Stones with Let's Spend the Night Together. 01:05:33.626 --> 01:05:36.608 You're listening to Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 01:05:36.668 --> 01:05:37.689 It's a digital station. 01:05:37.709 --> 01:05:39.410 You need a DAB radio to listen to. 01:05:39.450 --> 01:05:41.232 You can also listen to it through your TV. 01:05:41.552 --> 01:05:43.554 You can listen to this show again on Listen Again. 01:05:43.894 --> 01:05:46.917 There's something weird about listening to the radio through the telly though, isn't there? 01:05:47.017 --> 01:05:47.237 Yeah. 01:05:47.577 --> 01:05:51.259 Because even if there's nothing on the screen, one gets the urge to look at it. 01:05:51.779 --> 01:05:52.519 Yeah, absolutely. 01:05:52.539 --> 01:05:53.820 Don't you think that's the case? 01:05:53.880 --> 01:05:55.321 The blue thing on the skybox. 01:05:55.361 --> 01:05:56.201 It's all a bit weird. 01:05:56.221 --> 01:05:56.861 It's a little bit weird. 01:05:57.142 --> 01:06:01.083 We're going to catch up with a bit of communication that we've had with people throughout the week. 01:06:01.444 --> 01:06:05.726 Just before you read your bit of Stevenage out, Joe, I did a gig last night. 01:06:05.746 --> 01:06:07.386 Thank you very much if you came along to that. 01:06:07.406 --> 01:06:08.107 It was nice to see you. 01:06:08.147 --> 01:06:08.967 I did come along to that. 01:06:09.708 --> 01:06:10.308 Thank you very much. 01:06:10.508 --> 01:06:13.249 The first time you've ever come to one of my gigs, not the BFI. 01:06:13.289 --> 01:06:14.250 The BFI, that's true. 01:06:14.910 --> 01:06:17.674 And the only reason you came was because of... Sif. 01:06:17.834 --> 01:06:18.916 Sif, who was there. 01:06:19.516 --> 01:06:20.698 And very lovely she was too. 01:06:21.038 --> 01:06:27.127 But I also met some other very nice people there, one of whom begged me to say hello to someone. 01:06:27.367 --> 01:06:29.289 Not something I'd normally do, but she was very nice. 01:06:29.310 --> 01:06:30.511 What sort of begging did she do? 01:06:31.332 --> 01:06:32.994 Well... We need to make this exception. 01:06:33.274 --> 01:06:36.878 She popped her top off and started... That's not true. 01:06:36.898 --> 01:06:37.679 That's absolutely not true. 01:06:38.019 --> 01:06:44.826 She said, can you say hello to Rosie Jones because she's been doing some Morris dancing in Wells Cathedral. 01:06:44.866 --> 01:06:51.714 Now, of course, Wells Cathedral is where we filmed my scenes for Hot Fuzz, the wonderful Edgar Wright film. 01:06:51.734 --> 01:06:52.374 That's where I met my end. 01:06:52.394 --> 01:06:53.475 It's all about you, this, isn't it? 01:06:54.216 --> 01:06:54.797 Well, not really. 01:06:54.837 --> 01:06:57.300 I'm reading out a shout-out for Rosie Jones. 01:06:57.320 --> 01:06:58.342 It's all about Rosie Jones. 01:06:58.422 --> 01:06:58.862 It's true. 01:06:59.163 --> 01:07:00.324 So it's not all about me. 01:07:00.364 --> 01:07:01.325 Well, kind of. 01:07:01.766 --> 01:07:02.207 It's good though. 01:07:02.227 --> 01:07:02.767 Keep going. 01:07:02.807 --> 01:07:03.228 Is that done? 01:07:03.408 --> 01:07:03.969 That's done. 01:07:04.009 --> 01:07:04.710 That's exciting. 01:07:04.810 --> 01:07:05.271 Yeah. 01:07:05.431 --> 01:07:09.015 Listen, we've got all sorts of Steven-ish stuff has come in. 01:07:09.716 --> 01:07:12.039 Does the Steven thing need to be explained? 01:07:13.232 --> 01:07:13.772 Not really, maybe not. 01:07:13.792 --> 01:07:14.793 Quick explanation. 01:07:15.493 --> 01:07:24.537 Let's say, we won't explain where it started, but we can just say that Stephen, shouting out Stephen in public is a way of communicating or trying to identify other fans of this radio program. 01:07:24.977 --> 01:07:29.920 If you say, Stephen, and someone says, just coming, then you know that they also listen to this. 01:07:29.960 --> 01:07:35.102 Yeah, now we didn't really start this, but certainly people that listen to the show have run with it. 01:07:35.162 --> 01:07:36.903 And I don't know, it feels as if 01:07:37.763 --> 01:07:40.025 Uh, you like that book, The Tipping Point, Adam, don't you? 01:07:40.066 --> 01:07:40.646 Yeah, Malcolm Gladwell. 01:07:40.666 --> 01:07:41.427 You're keen on that one. 01:07:41.587 --> 01:07:41.747 Yeah. 01:07:41.787 --> 01:07:43.849 Feels as if it might have reached that point. 01:07:44.310 --> 01:07:48.554 And what happens when you sort of, it tips over and starts all going a bit off? 01:07:49.094 --> 01:07:50.195 Has he got a phrase for that? 01:07:50.215 --> 01:07:51.737 Uh, the topping point. 01:07:51.757 --> 01:07:52.638 The topping point. 01:07:52.938 --> 01:07:54.198 When it starts getting annoying, you mean? 01:07:54.218 --> 01:07:55.239 The crapping point. 01:07:55.439 --> 01:07:55.739 Right. 01:07:56.719 --> 01:07:57.260 I don't know. 01:07:57.460 --> 01:08:01.521 It feels as if some of the Stevens shouting might be getting slightly out of hand. 01:08:01.941 --> 01:08:02.962 Let's have some examples. 01:08:03.242 --> 01:08:04.862 Here's an email from Mark. 01:08:04.922 --> 01:08:11.265 He says, I witnessed some monstrous Stevenage on Monday night at Richard Herring's gig in Taunton. 01:08:11.805 --> 01:08:17.567 It was towards the end of the show, a quiet reflective stage in which Richard was meditating on the passage of time and lost love. 01:08:18.027 --> 01:08:26.575 He paused to allow us to consider the weight of these matters when suddenly there was a loud, clearly prearranged shout of Stephen followed immediately by a just coming. 01:08:26.855 --> 01:08:28.297 Richard looked sad. 01:08:28.817 --> 01:08:30.119 I'll read that again, better. 01:08:30.579 --> 01:08:31.720 Richard looked sad. 01:08:32.501 --> 01:08:35.123 And he said, that's someone else's catchphrase. 01:08:35.464 --> 01:08:36.625 Don't do that at my show. 01:08:39.046 --> 01:08:39.727 Where will it end? 01:08:39.927 --> 01:08:42.068 Is no one safe from the Stephen Vandals? 01:08:42.468 --> 01:08:57.614 Now I don't have the email to hand but another listener was at the Blue Tones gig or a Blue Tones gig last week and he shouted Stephen and apparently Mark Morris the lead singer who's a friend of ours he replied with a slightly belligerent and and sort of grumpy 01:08:58.194 --> 01:08:59.314 just coming as well. 01:08:59.534 --> 01:09:02.695 So it was lovely that he said it, but he didn't, apparently he didn't look that happy about it. 01:09:02.935 --> 01:09:03.575 Yeah, you never know. 01:09:03.675 --> 01:09:04.895 I mean, he's cool, he's a rock star. 01:09:04.935 --> 01:09:08.216 He's so, right, so he's unlikely to sort of sound enthusiastic per se. 01:09:08.256 --> 01:09:15.017 Jack from Belfast said, I just experienced a most bizarre Steven while sitting in my bedroom tuning into a concert on Radio Ulster. 01:09:15.297 --> 01:09:21.398 In the silence before the Divine Comedy played, I heard an exploding Steven come from the crowd. 01:09:21.458 --> 01:09:26.899 I was shocked, but before I could do anything, my brain went into auto and I just said, 01:09:27.159 --> 01:09:32.022 Just coming, as I was sat in my room, it was the loneliest just coming ever. 01:09:32.382 --> 01:09:34.764 You've unleashed madness in one poor listener's life. 01:09:35.244 --> 01:09:42.108 But I don't think there was a just coming reciprocated from the audience in the Divine Comedy Show there, so... Do you think it's getting out of hand? 01:09:42.848 --> 01:09:48.792 Well, I think it certainly could be annoying for people if they're performers and stuff, you know what I mean? 01:09:49.552 --> 01:09:54.055 Because... Do you think we would have the power to stop it, or do you think it's out of our control? 01:09:54.075 --> 01:09:55.676 I mean, we didn't start it, how can we stop it? 01:09:56.440 --> 01:09:56.760 Yeah. 01:09:57.802 --> 01:10:00.264 Well, maybe suggest to people that they... I don't know. 01:10:00.585 --> 01:10:01.145 What do you think? 01:10:01.406 --> 01:10:01.966 I don't know. 01:10:02.026 --> 01:10:03.428 You see, I'm half excited by it. 01:10:03.548 --> 01:10:07.472 Other Stephen news that's come in is, Stephen Street in London's West End. 01:10:07.933 --> 01:10:11.356 Somebody stuck an exclamation mark on the... I mean, that's vandalism. 01:10:12.037 --> 01:10:13.338 And we can't encourage that. 01:10:13.758 --> 01:10:15.519 But at the same time, it is cool. 01:10:16.459 --> 01:10:20.641 Someone has stuck an exclamation mark on the end of Stephen on Stephen Street, right? 01:10:21.341 --> 01:10:26.423 The other thing that happened was DJ Magazine, which is a magazine funnily enough for DJs. 01:10:27.264 --> 01:10:28.004 And they have a title. 01:10:28.084 --> 01:10:29.645 Yeah, they have a spine message. 01:10:30.405 --> 01:10:33.307 And Stephen Justcoming was their spine message. 01:10:33.327 --> 01:10:33.367 No. 01:10:34.108 --> 01:10:39.492 The London paper, which is a free paper that you get in London, yeah? 01:10:39.732 --> 01:10:40.953 Yeah. 01:10:41.093 --> 01:10:48.019 Has a cartoon strip called M and that included a Stephen Justcoming slipped into the dialogue of the cartoon strip. 01:10:48.139 --> 01:10:49.340 That could have been an accidental one. 01:10:49.420 --> 01:10:49.640 No. 01:10:49.920 --> 01:10:50.120 No. 01:10:50.421 --> 01:10:50.581 No. 01:10:51.562 --> 01:10:51.702 No. 01:10:52.322 --> 01:10:53.903 So on the one hand, it's exciting, isn't it? 01:10:53.963 --> 01:10:54.844 It's proliferating. 01:10:55.164 --> 01:10:59.426 But on the other hand, in some circumstances, it's getting out of hand and causing anger. 01:10:59.667 --> 01:11:00.507 But here's the thing. 01:11:00.667 --> 01:11:01.908 Excuse me for interrupting. 01:11:02.248 --> 01:11:11.134 It's only causing anger with other jealous artists whose sets are being interrupted by Stevenage. 01:11:12.074 --> 01:11:14.236 Yeah, but they have every right to be irritated by it. 01:11:14.256 --> 01:11:14.536 You're right. 01:11:14.636 --> 01:11:22.542 I'd like to hear, I don't know, I mean, because the Fleet Foxes took it, well, I would like to hear specifically from an artist who is annoyed by it. 01:11:22.702 --> 01:11:26.265 Like, if Richard Herring was really upset, I mean, that sounds like a bad one that he got. 01:11:26.965 --> 01:11:32.750 If he was really upset by that, which I could understand, then I would like to hear his story. 01:11:32.770 --> 01:11:36.253 The rule, I think, is please don't, please don't interrupt people's enjoyment with it. 01:11:36.573 --> 01:11:37.333 No, exactly. 01:11:37.413 --> 01:11:38.134 Choose your moment. 01:11:38.794 --> 01:11:40.696 Respectful Stevenage, please. 01:11:41.156 --> 01:11:42.577 Respect the Steven! 01:11:43.098 --> 01:11:52.865 Okay, here's, now this is one of those bands, the exciting bands that we were told were going to be big this year and I'm not sure if it's actually happened yet for LaRue. 01:11:52.965 --> 01:11:54.246 Would you say LaRue are big? 01:11:54.286 --> 01:11:55.487 Oh, it's definitely happened. 01:11:55.547 --> 01:11:55.768 Yeah. 01:11:56.408 --> 01:11:56.728 Yeah. 01:11:57.129 --> 01:11:58.049 Yes, good, sorry. 01:11:58.109 --> 01:11:59.270 Look, her hair's happened. 01:11:59.290 --> 01:11:59.490 Yeah. 01:11:59.591 --> 01:12:00.631 Have you seen her hair? 01:12:00.892 --> 01:12:01.172 I have. 01:12:01.212 --> 01:12:01.712 It's huge. 01:12:01.812 --> 01:12:02.753 It sticks all the way out. 01:12:02.773 --> 01:12:03.173 Well done. 01:12:03.454 --> 01:12:05.695 Well, this is LaRue's track, In for the Kill. 01:12:05.755 --> 01:12:08.057 Who was Lamo talking to there in the studio? 01:12:08.077 --> 01:12:08.978 They don't. 01:12:09.398 --> 01:12:10.499 Dave Garn. 01:12:10.519 --> 01:12:10.879 Wow. 01:12:11.379 --> 01:12:12.380 Wow, there you go. 01:12:13.240 --> 01:12:14.921 Yes, Lamo, he's the king. 01:12:14.941 --> 01:12:19.424 There's someone who's, am I right in saying his creativity was linked to substance abuse? 01:12:20.205 --> 01:12:23.206 I think, well, he certainly had a big substance abuse problem, didn't he? 01:12:23.907 --> 01:12:25.988 But he's remained creative thereafter. 01:12:26.268 --> 01:12:27.809 Yeah, now he's come through the other side. 01:12:27.889 --> 01:12:29.250 Now he's all cleaned up and stuff. 01:12:29.490 --> 01:12:30.751 Yeah, there's loads of them, man. 01:12:30.811 --> 01:12:31.872 It's always the best way to go. 01:12:32.512 --> 01:12:34.793 Extend your life as well what the giving up. 01:12:35.133 --> 01:12:35.513 Yeah. 01:12:35.553 --> 01:12:40.615 Yeah, yeah, rather than the linkage rather than to carry on thinking that it's linked exactly. 01:12:40.695 --> 01:12:44.176 Yes We had a very nice Apologetic email. 01:12:44.216 --> 01:12:45.436 Shall I just read that out quickly? 01:12:45.456 --> 01:12:45.877 Yeah, go on. 01:12:45.977 --> 01:12:52.999 Oh, we were just talking about a possibly mistimed Steven at a gig in Taunton Richard Richard Herring's gig. 01:12:53.039 --> 01:12:55.680 Yeah and Simon Lee 01:12:56.300 --> 01:13:01.663 believe I'm pronouncing his second name correctly, writes, Hi Adam and Joe, I did the Steven at Taunton. 01:13:02.003 --> 01:13:06.005 Could you phone me so I could apologize to the world about my very poor Stevenage? 01:13:06.305 --> 01:13:07.485 I'm so embarrassed. 01:13:09.266 --> 01:13:17.110 You don't need to be publicly reprimanded, I don't think Simon, that's terrific that you would email in and you know how nice that he takes responsibility. 01:13:17.270 --> 01:13:18.891 Well it's fun to apologize, isn't it? 01:13:18.991 --> 01:13:19.211 Yeah. 01:13:19.271 --> 01:13:20.572 And some people love an apology. 01:13:20.712 --> 01:13:21.092 They do. 01:13:21.313 --> 01:13:23.034 And that's all that's all we ask for. 01:13:23.294 --> 01:13:24.695 That's all anyone asked for these days. 01:13:24.715 --> 01:13:27.557 I mean, there's a whole apology fever going on. 01:13:27.577 --> 01:13:27.997 There is. 01:13:28.077 --> 01:13:28.257 Why? 01:13:28.277 --> 01:13:31.699 Because Gordon Brown hasn't apologized for ending the world. 01:13:31.940 --> 01:13:32.260 Yeah. 01:13:32.360 --> 01:13:33.701 And then James Cameron. 01:13:33.901 --> 01:13:35.222 You can pretty much do anything. 01:13:35.762 --> 01:13:36.403 James Cameron. 01:13:36.663 --> 01:13:37.443 James Cameron. 01:13:37.483 --> 01:13:38.124 David Cameron. 01:13:38.144 --> 01:13:39.525 You can pretty much do anything. 01:13:39.605 --> 01:13:43.587 And then as long as you issue a public apology, a few days later, it's all forgotten about. 01:13:43.647 --> 01:13:44.728 Oh, no, he apologized. 01:13:44.868 --> 01:13:45.429 That's all right. 01:13:45.449 --> 01:13:45.969 That's fine. 01:13:46.509 --> 01:13:47.890 And what was I going to say? 01:13:48.130 --> 01:13:48.791 I've forgotten. 01:13:49.631 --> 01:13:51.472 Well, thank you very much for your apology, Simon. 01:13:51.732 --> 01:13:55.034 Someone else texted in and quite rightly said that we did start the Steven thing. 01:13:55.614 --> 01:13:59.796 We shouldn't try and disassociate ourselves from it. 01:14:00.216 --> 01:14:03.117 We didn't tell people to go out and shout it in public, did we? 01:14:03.237 --> 01:14:03.858 I think we did, yep. 01:14:04.058 --> 01:14:04.378 Did we? 01:14:04.498 --> 01:14:05.138 I think we did. 01:14:05.378 --> 01:14:09.220 I've got to go through the back catalogs and check out the specifics. 01:14:09.260 --> 01:14:10.380 Yeah, for legal reasons. 01:14:10.440 --> 01:14:11.041 We should do that. 01:14:12.021 --> 01:14:12.402 What now? 01:14:12.702 --> 01:14:14.843 Did we really go out and tell them to go and start shouting? 01:14:14.863 --> 01:14:15.484 I think we did. 01:14:15.544 --> 01:14:16.705 We definitely encouraged it. 01:14:16.725 --> 01:14:19.827 If we didn't want them to do it, we would never have mentioned it in the first place. 01:14:19.847 --> 01:14:20.507 I suppose so. 01:14:21.068 --> 01:14:22.569 Don't you think that's the truth, the case? 01:14:22.589 --> 01:14:23.189 I do. 01:14:23.229 --> 01:14:24.030 That's the truth case? 01:14:24.690 --> 01:14:25.651 That is the truth case. 01:14:25.691 --> 01:14:26.752 Stuff full of truth, that case. 01:14:26.792 --> 01:14:29.114 Yeah, that case is chock full of truth. 01:14:29.734 --> 01:14:31.456 Now, it's time for a free play, listeners. 01:14:31.476 --> 01:14:40.063 This is a lovely track, bit of doo-wop, and it's sort of space-aged sounding doo-wop from the Flamingos, and I only have eyes for you. 01:14:40.103 --> 01:14:42.425 This is for my mum, who I think might be listening today. 01:14:42.866 --> 01:14:43.546 Hello, mum. 01:14:43.706 --> 01:14:44.167 Hey, mum. 01:14:44.387 --> 01:14:44.827 Hey, mummy. 01:14:45.368 --> 01:14:47.630 I think she likes this track, and it's a lovely one. 01:14:47.910 --> 01:14:48.290 Enjoy. 01:14:48.310 --> 01:14:51.213 Always sounds strangely sinister to me, that song. 01:14:51.253 --> 01:14:53.675 Yeah, spooky, and it's like a David Lynch type thing. 01:14:53.755 --> 01:14:53.915 It is. 01:14:53.955 --> 01:14:56.898 It makes one think of some sort of hideous razor blade killer or something. 01:14:57.798 --> 01:14:59.980 Well, I was thinking more of like a moon. 01:15:00.040 --> 01:15:01.801 I only say razor blade because it's fifties. 01:15:02.021 --> 01:15:02.641 Do you know what I mean? 01:15:02.681 --> 01:15:03.242 Right. 01:15:03.262 --> 01:15:03.802 What's it called? 01:15:03.862 --> 01:15:05.463 The straight razor kind of thing. 01:15:06.283 --> 01:15:06.603 Yeah. 01:15:07.264 --> 01:15:09.865 That was the flamingos with I only have eyes for you. 01:15:10.246 --> 01:15:20.612 Now, later on today, I'm going to be taking the train back to the country, lovely Norfolk, and I am going to be having to deal with people making phone calls. 01:15:21.332 --> 01:15:24.054 right through the train journey, as usual. 01:15:24.154 --> 01:15:25.674 And it's kind of a cliche, isn't it? 01:15:25.714 --> 01:15:29.657 To be annoyed by people making phone calls on a train is so cliche. 01:15:29.777 --> 01:15:30.657 What a cliche. 01:15:30.817 --> 01:15:31.818 It's almost redundant. 01:15:31.838 --> 01:15:33.379 Like, why would you even say something like that? 01:15:33.439 --> 01:15:34.599 Why would you even say that? 01:15:34.639 --> 01:15:38.301 Because I can't believe that it still happens! 01:15:38.902 --> 01:15:39.562 Do you know what I mean? 01:15:39.642 --> 01:15:42.383 Well, because it's fulfilling a basic human need for communication. 01:15:42.403 --> 01:15:43.284 You're never gonna stop it. 01:15:43.744 --> 01:15:45.126 Why can't you stop it? 01:15:45.406 --> 01:15:46.487 Why can't it be stopped? 01:15:46.507 --> 01:15:48.309 Because it's not a controllable environment. 01:15:48.689 --> 01:15:50.170 Like, for instance, a gig. 01:15:50.311 --> 01:15:51.712 They've got a quiet carriage. 01:15:51.832 --> 01:15:52.373 Fair enough. 01:15:52.753 --> 01:15:53.894 One quiet carriage. 01:15:54.194 --> 01:16:00.440 But why can't the majority of people find it embarrassing and annoying 01:16:01.141 --> 01:16:04.064 that, you know, so that they just don't do it. 01:16:04.285 --> 01:16:05.166 Why is it necessary? 01:16:05.206 --> 01:16:09.491 Because they are never, I mean, all this, it's embarrassing talking about it, because all this has been said so many times. 01:16:09.951 --> 01:16:15.598 But you would have thought that Dom Joly's character that he used to do on Trigger Happy would have kind of made people think twice about it, maybe. 01:16:16.458 --> 01:16:26.882 And I guess people have forgotten now because it just is back with a vengeance and literally every two minutes someone is picking up the phone and there's a lot of Works on the line at the moment, right? 01:16:26.942 --> 01:16:27.922 So there's delays. 01:16:28.042 --> 01:16:33.184 There's been delays every few weeks Joe's doing this I'm bored with your story 01:16:34.791 --> 01:16:37.693 And just let me get this off my chest. 01:16:38.213 --> 01:16:42.155 And so all you get is people making calls like, yeah, trains delayed. 01:16:42.976 --> 01:16:43.436 Yeah. 01:16:43.656 --> 01:16:43.936 25 minutes. 01:16:44.157 --> 01:16:44.417 That's good. 01:16:44.437 --> 01:16:44.797 That's good. 01:16:44.977 --> 01:16:46.418 I'm sat on the train now still. 01:16:46.498 --> 01:16:47.539 Yeah, that's a good story. 01:16:47.699 --> 01:16:48.219 I should be. 01:16:48.319 --> 01:16:48.559 What? 01:16:48.699 --> 01:16:49.360 It's a good story. 01:16:49.380 --> 01:16:52.121 I was just going to say that someone texted in. 01:16:52.161 --> 01:16:57.644 I saw James Cameron from Blackpool said, Joe's poo bread story was brilliant. 01:16:58.125 --> 01:16:59.926 Oh, you're referring to a story I told last week. 01:17:00.706 --> 01:17:00.966 Rubbish. 01:17:01.006 --> 01:17:03.347 He said my story was brilliant about the pooey bread. 01:17:03.688 --> 01:17:07.750 I don't think anyone's gonna think that you're, uh, the bit that you just did about mobile phones is brilliant. 01:17:07.910 --> 01:17:10.191 Well, it was hardly- I hardly got to do it! 01:17:10.391 --> 01:17:11.091 I hardly got to do it! 01:17:11.111 --> 01:17:11.932 About how brilliant that bit is! 01:17:11.952 --> 01:17:12.712 Because there was no support! 01:17:12.892 --> 01:17:14.093 There was NONE support! 01:17:14.333 --> 01:17:14.553 As usual! 01:17:14.573 --> 01:17:16.194 Well, something's don't deserve to be supported! 01:17:16.234 --> 01:17:17.655 They should die a natural death! 01:17:18.215 --> 01:17:19.936 Yeah, I wanna try and it's delayed. 01:17:21.036 --> 01:17:21.837 Eh, about 25 minutes. 01:17:22.577 --> 01:17:24.058 SHUT UP! 01:17:24.658 --> 01:17:25.478 It's time for the news. 01:17:25.679 --> 01:17:28.140 OMD there, with electricity. 01:17:29.167 --> 01:17:30.849 Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 01:17:31.029 --> 01:17:43.981 Now, last week we were talking in Text the Nation about gig etiquette and we were promising to compile a manifesto of new sort of rules that would come into effect to make gig going and more pleasurable experience. 01:17:44.001 --> 01:17:45.903 And we stuck to our promise, Sizz. 01:17:46.564 --> 01:17:49.307 Just the one, we wouldn't make a promise and then not stick to it, would we? 01:17:49.427 --> 01:17:50.808 That would not be safeguarding trust. 01:17:50.828 --> 01:17:51.649 That would be filthy. 01:17:52.329 --> 01:17:52.710 Sickening. 01:17:53.050 --> 01:17:58.933 So we've done it, and this is made up from your suggestions, listeners, and some of our ones as well. 01:17:59.533 --> 01:18:06.436 A delicious, sexy combination of us and the listeners, all writhing together in a big logic pile. 01:18:06.456 --> 01:18:07.377 Love sandwich, yeah. 01:18:08.017 --> 01:18:09.238 So here's the manifesto. 01:18:09.438 --> 01:18:17.102 These are the new rules that are going to be enforced at all live gigs across the country from the moment this segment ends. 01:18:17.282 --> 01:18:18.422 By the pigeon detectives. 01:18:19.263 --> 01:18:21.384 Or electric sticks carrying electric sticks. 01:18:21.464 --> 01:18:21.884 Exactly. 01:18:22.464 --> 01:18:24.485 Rule number one for behavior at gigs. 01:18:24.785 --> 01:18:31.809 There will be a small exam on the subject of the band you're seeing, which will be held at the door to qualify for entry. 01:18:32.309 --> 01:18:32.649 Quite right. 01:18:32.829 --> 01:18:37.872 If you don't know the answers to the questions asked to you about the band, you will not be allowed to see the band. 01:18:38.332 --> 01:18:40.693 There is also a deodorant check at that stage. 01:18:40.973 --> 01:18:42.674 You're checked for levels of body odor. 01:18:43.174 --> 01:18:46.116 If you don't know enough about the band, or you smell bad, you're not coming in. 01:18:47.196 --> 01:18:57.602 Rule number two, the audience are stood in height order in pre-booked painted circles with lectins and drink holders. 01:18:59.143 --> 01:19:06.448 So instead of just a free-for-all on the floor where you can stand wherever you want and push people, there are painted circles on the floor that you book. 01:19:07.068 --> 01:19:08.409 and you're not allowed out of them. 01:19:09.069 --> 01:19:11.691 And they have a lectern and a drink holder. 01:19:12.151 --> 01:19:12.591 Very good. 01:19:12.651 --> 01:19:12.871 Yeah. 01:19:13.031 --> 01:19:17.514 And if you leave your painted circle to go to the loo, whoa, but I'd only one step into it. 01:19:17.574 --> 01:19:18.274 Electric sticks. 01:19:18.594 --> 01:19:21.916 Yeah, you have to show your number, your ticket. 01:19:23.177 --> 01:19:29.480 Rule number three, there are separate enclosures within the auditorium for short people to stand. 01:19:30.081 --> 01:19:31.121 They're supplied with straw. 01:19:32.882 --> 01:19:37.205 There's a moshing enclosure and also an enclosure for stoic posh poshies. 01:19:37.945 --> 01:19:38.786 Stoic poshies? 01:19:38.826 --> 01:19:43.609 Yeah, people that are just aloof or, you know, like to be removed from the thing. 01:19:44.089 --> 01:19:44.669 The posh pit. 01:19:44.790 --> 01:19:45.690 The posh pit, yeah. 01:19:46.511 --> 01:19:49.432 Mosh pit, posh pit and stumpy pit. 01:19:50.653 --> 01:19:51.174 Stump pit. 01:19:51.374 --> 01:19:51.774 Stump pit. 01:19:53.943 --> 01:19:54.563 Number four. 01:19:55.084 --> 01:20:00.246 Beer or beer is served with lids and beer is available chilled from the beginning to the end of the gig. 01:20:00.446 --> 01:20:00.706 Nice. 01:20:01.146 --> 01:20:02.106 So you don't get any spillage. 01:20:02.466 --> 01:20:02.967 Number five. 01:20:03.067 --> 01:20:06.148 No ironic roadie applause when they come on stage. 01:20:06.168 --> 01:20:07.308 It's to be banned. 01:20:08.029 --> 01:20:10.350 Actually there's 11 so we have to knock one of these off. 01:20:10.370 --> 01:20:10.350 11? 01:20:10.550 --> 01:20:10.730 Yeah. 01:20:11.130 --> 01:20:11.710 Number six. 01:20:12.350 --> 01:20:13.511 This is going to go on for several hours. 01:20:13.951 --> 01:20:16.592 Number six, bands are rated by decibel. 01:20:16.993 --> 01:20:20.874 Talking stroke singing is only allowed for loud bands, right? 01:20:21.095 --> 01:20:22.595 You're not disagreeing with any of these so far. 01:20:22.855 --> 01:20:25.177 I'm not sure about the roadies, but we'll talk about that after a while. 01:20:25.197 --> 01:20:34.541 Number seven, no topless men, no backpacks, no big handbags, no hats, no ponytails, no phone usage during gig. 01:20:35.001 --> 01:20:36.102 This is a lot in one, isn't it? 01:20:36.862 --> 01:20:40.404 This is actually like 15 more, but they're all just called number seven. 01:20:41.544 --> 01:20:42.524 Did you get all those? 01:20:42.924 --> 01:20:44.525 Backpack and communication. 01:20:44.545 --> 01:20:50.247 Yeah, no topless men, no backpacks, no big handbags, no hats, no ponytails, no phone usage during gig. 01:20:50.427 --> 01:20:52.388 Hairnets are issued at the door for those with long hair. 01:20:52.408 --> 01:20:53.869 That is a lot of points in one point. 01:20:53.909 --> 01:20:56.010 Well, they're just little ones, so they're all collected. 01:20:57.810 --> 01:21:02.052 Number eight, the band must start and finish performing at exactly the advertised time. 01:21:02.832 --> 01:21:03.933 What's the point of that one? 01:21:03.953 --> 01:21:05.795 Because you missed the bus on the way home. 01:21:06.515 --> 01:21:08.537 And another thing that annoys me, you go to a gig. 01:21:09.117 --> 01:21:12.520 On time, the band, you know, the cooler they are, the later they are, right? 01:21:12.580 --> 01:21:12.860 Yeah. 01:21:12.980 --> 01:21:13.701 Who made that up. 01:21:14.601 --> 01:21:19.485 And while you're waiting for them to come on, they play really loud music, usually by the band you're about to see. 01:21:19.585 --> 01:21:20.526 If it's a bad DJ. 01:21:20.546 --> 01:21:23.488 So by the time they come on, you're just exhausted from noises. 01:21:23.508 --> 01:21:24.289 Alright, fair enough. 01:21:25.990 --> 01:21:27.591 Anyway, lots of listeners sent that one in. 01:21:27.712 --> 01:21:28.932 Who are you to complain? 01:21:29.761 --> 01:21:30.382 Number 9. 01:21:30.642 --> 01:21:32.884 No throwing beer glasses full of wee. 01:21:34.064 --> 01:21:36.046 Apparently this is something that people do a lot. 01:21:36.106 --> 01:21:37.607 You don't want to lose your place in the crowd. 01:21:38.168 --> 01:21:42.311 So you do a wee into your beer glass and then you just chuck it. 01:21:42.711 --> 01:21:44.913 Now that's the most appalling thing I've ever heard of in my life. 01:21:44.953 --> 01:21:48.196 Well we had lots of emails from people saying that had happened to them. 01:21:48.616 --> 01:21:49.177 It's unbelievable. 01:21:49.397 --> 01:21:51.278 That might be punishable by execution. 01:21:51.478 --> 01:21:52.219 I would say so. 01:21:53.580 --> 01:21:54.221 Number 10. 01:21:54.561 --> 01:21:58.224 No shouting the name of the track you want the band to play all the way through the gig. 01:21:58.684 --> 01:21:59.104 Yeah. 01:21:59.985 --> 01:22:06.449 And number 11, out of 10, is no crowdsurfing by people over a certain weight. 01:22:07.630 --> 01:22:08.131 Oh, really? 01:22:08.271 --> 01:22:13.394 Now, these are just listeners' suggestions that were all collated, and those are the most popular ones. 01:22:13.414 --> 01:22:16.016 So that is the Adam and Jo gig behavior manifesto. 01:22:16.356 --> 01:22:17.457 It's quite sizest. 01:22:18.598 --> 01:22:20.099 It's also fairly fascistic. 01:22:20.919 --> 01:22:24.081 It's unrealistic and non-implementable. 01:22:25.582 --> 01:22:28.904 But it is good apart from that is apart from that. 01:22:29.004 --> 01:22:33.266 It's good anything you want to discuss My only thing would be the roadies. 01:22:33.326 --> 01:22:36.987 I just think it would be a shame not to clap for them not to clap for the road That's just a bit of innocent fun. 01:22:37.047 --> 01:22:39.468 It's not doing anybody anyone any harm. 01:22:39.548 --> 01:22:41.970 All right Well, we can knock that one off and that brings us down to ten. 01:22:42.010 --> 01:22:49.333 Yeah, and those are actually gonna canoe that gonna become law later today and kneeling Oh 01:22:52.114 --> 01:22:53.115 So that's exciting, isn't it? 01:22:53.135 --> 01:22:54.817 We've really achieved something on this show. 01:22:55.277 --> 01:22:59.342 Anyone who accuses us of just talking complete rubbish is an idiot. 01:22:59.662 --> 01:23:00.363 It's an idiot. 01:23:00.743 --> 01:23:03.706 Absolutely really achieved something. 01:23:04.287 --> 01:23:07.310 We've worked together and now gigs are going to be much more enjoyable. 01:23:07.350 --> 01:23:07.690 Yeah. 01:23:08.010 --> 01:23:10.713 Thank you very much to everyone who contributed to that manifesto. 01:23:12.035 --> 01:23:14.337 That manifesto will be published in the bin. 01:23:15.578 --> 01:23:21.503 And don't forget we've got a few more of your, uh, gig manifesto suggestions that we might read out in retro textination in our podcast. 01:23:21.523 --> 01:23:21.803 Yes. 01:23:22.484 --> 01:23:23.364 So listen out for that. 01:23:23.544 --> 01:23:24.525 Here's some music now. 01:23:24.966 --> 01:23:27.828 This is Doves and Kingdom of Rust. 01:23:27.948 --> 01:23:28.749 That's nice, isn't it? 01:23:28.809 --> 01:23:29.289 Very good. 01:23:29.789 --> 01:23:30.490 That was Doves. 01:23:30.610 --> 01:23:31.371 Nice to hear that again. 01:23:31.391 --> 01:23:32.291 That's an old one, right? 01:23:32.692 --> 01:23:33.152 Old Doves? 01:23:33.332 --> 01:23:33.993 Or is that new Doves? 01:23:34.013 --> 01:23:34.873 It will stay on the sheet. 01:23:35.174 --> 01:23:37.015 I just put my sheet in the recycling bin. 01:23:37.095 --> 01:23:37.696 Oh no! 01:23:37.756 --> 01:23:39.137 This is coming up to the end of the show. 01:23:39.697 --> 01:23:41.858 And I don't- I get frightened when Liz Kershaw turns up. 01:23:41.918 --> 01:23:45.420 I don't like to hang around too long because I don't wanna- She has authority. 01:23:45.580 --> 01:23:46.941 Yeah, because she's a professional danger. 01:23:46.961 --> 01:23:48.742 Yeah, you wanna get out of the way of the professionals. 01:23:49.182 --> 01:23:51.904 Uh, that, uh, it doesn't say when that was from. 01:23:53.323 --> 01:23:53.623 New! 01:23:54.164 --> 01:23:54.645 Good one. 01:23:54.885 --> 01:23:56.246 Well done, doves. 01:23:56.767 --> 01:23:57.287 Right, on the money. 01:23:57.307 --> 01:23:59.049 Yeah, the new album is supposed to be very good, I've read. 01:23:59.670 --> 01:24:00.470 Anyway, there you go. 01:24:00.651 --> 01:24:02.112 It's time to wrap up Text-o-Nation. 01:24:02.252 --> 01:24:02.473 Yes, it is. 01:24:02.493 --> 01:24:04.034 Let's have it all one more time. 01:24:04.314 --> 01:24:04.595 God. 01:24:05.135 --> 01:24:07.097 Here we go with the jingle jingle. 01:24:08.339 --> 01:24:09.159 Text-o-Nation. 01:24:09.219 --> 01:24:10.261 Text, text, text. 01:24:10.401 --> 01:24:11.141 Text-o-Nation. 01:24:11.202 --> 01:24:12.163 What if I don't want to? 01:24:12.403 --> 01:24:13.144 Text-o-Nation. 01:24:13.224 --> 01:24:14.225 But I'm using email. 01:24:14.405 --> 01:24:15.126 Is that a problem? 01:24:15.166 --> 01:24:15.706 It doesn't matter. 01:24:15.766 --> 01:24:15.966 Text! 01:24:18.470 --> 01:24:19.931 And this week, what's going on there? 01:24:20.111 --> 01:24:21.391 Just a little plastic fork. 01:24:21.411 --> 01:24:22.932 Throwing some forks, throwing it around. 01:24:22.992 --> 01:24:34.857 Yeah, we've been asking you to send in your made up jokes, specifically jokes that you've created, formulated yourself, even though they're maybe not very good or quite laboured. 01:24:34.997 --> 01:24:36.138 Especially if they're not really. 01:24:36.158 --> 01:24:38.379 Especially if they're really tortured. 01:24:39.439 --> 01:24:40.339 What is it about there? 01:24:40.379 --> 01:24:44.041 You know, sometimes you just can't get your mind off a bit of rubbish wordplay. 01:24:44.241 --> 01:24:45.301 Yeah, absolutely. 01:24:45.561 --> 01:24:46.561 Well, it's a fun thing to do. 01:24:46.602 --> 01:24:47.342 It is fun, isn't it? 01:24:47.402 --> 01:24:49.002 So this will take the fun out of it. 01:24:49.042 --> 01:24:50.862 Here are some that have been sent in. 01:24:51.563 --> 01:24:53.103 Daniel Solomon's from Kentish Town. 01:24:54.083 --> 01:24:57.424 This one, my brother Jason made up, but I helped develop it. 01:24:58.004 --> 01:24:59.304 Not that there's any pride in that. 01:24:59.364 --> 01:25:00.344 He's to blame, not me. 01:25:00.404 --> 01:25:00.904 Here goes. 01:25:00.964 --> 01:25:01.324 Question. 01:25:01.605 --> 01:25:04.785 Why did David Beckham's fragrance sell badly on Merseyside? 01:25:05.465 --> 01:25:07.926 Because Liverpool fans never walk alone. 01:25:09.186 --> 01:25:10.307 That's good, you see. 01:25:10.647 --> 01:25:12.528 Here's one from Roy Geraghty. 01:25:13.349 --> 01:25:19.673 It says, whilst I can't pretend to claim authorship of the following lame joke, my boss did upon telling me it to him. 01:25:19.873 --> 01:25:20.993 Oh, he claimed authorship, right. 01:25:21.374 --> 01:25:23.195 Who's the coolest guy in the hospital? 01:25:23.855 --> 01:25:25.196 The ultrasound guy. 01:25:26.957 --> 01:25:29.218 Oh, it was published in FHM apparently. 01:25:29.538 --> 01:25:30.018 Oh wow. 01:25:30.138 --> 01:25:30.878 Says Rory. 01:25:30.898 --> 01:25:32.599 Getting secondhand jokes there. 01:25:32.639 --> 01:25:34.380 I should have read that bit. 01:25:34.500 --> 01:25:38.221 Here's another one from Sophie from London. 01:25:38.501 --> 01:25:40.362 What is Bob Dylan's favourite pasta? 01:25:41.337 --> 01:25:42.678 I don't know. 01:25:42.778 --> 01:25:44.239 G-knocky on heaven's door. 01:25:45.280 --> 01:25:46.661 That is awful. 01:25:46.781 --> 01:25:47.442 Come on. 01:25:47.922 --> 01:25:49.443 I mean, that's a disgrace. 01:25:50.004 --> 01:25:50.604 Who's that from? 01:25:50.624 --> 01:25:51.365 Sophie, Sophie. 01:25:51.585 --> 01:25:55.548 Sophie, you are an absolute disgrace. 01:25:56.389 --> 01:25:57.449 Knocky on heaven. 01:25:57.489 --> 01:25:59.711 Here's one that Andrew in Newport made up. 01:26:01.252 --> 01:26:06.917 A cow said, I wasn't going to go to the tannery, but all the other cows said it. 01:26:08.488 --> 01:26:10.249 That's already so torture. 01:26:11.689 --> 01:26:18.591 Because it's a talking cow and the situation of our going to the... It's an everyday situation. 01:26:18.711 --> 01:26:20.551 It doesn't come across that in the street. 01:26:21.712 --> 01:26:24.932 A cow said, I wasn't going to the tannery. 01:26:24.952 --> 01:26:28.033 It's like a blankety-blank thing, isn't it? 01:26:28.053 --> 01:26:28.673 That's right. 01:26:28.753 --> 01:26:33.955 I wasn't going to the tannery, but all the other cows said it was good and I'm easily swayed. 01:26:35.055 --> 01:26:53.493 oh my god come on that was one of the good ones easily swayed i've vetted these i've got the really tortured ones especially no i can't read that one what uh simi why did the monkey get lost in the jungle because the jungle is massive 01:26:54.498 --> 01:26:56.220 I've heard that one before, so... Really? 01:26:56.240 --> 01:26:58.001 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:26:58.061 --> 01:26:58.782 That's a good one, though. 01:26:59.863 --> 01:27:00.183 More? 01:27:00.683 --> 01:27:01.504 Let's do one more. 01:27:01.624 --> 01:27:01.904 Really? 01:27:01.924 --> 01:27:02.865 I'm not sure I've got one. 01:27:03.165 --> 01:27:04.026 What about the one you skipped? 01:27:06.208 --> 01:27:08.110 Was that filthy? 01:27:08.390 --> 01:27:10.652 Well, there are some that just make no sense. 01:27:12.233 --> 01:27:13.414 I think that's it, you know. 01:27:13.434 --> 01:27:15.315 I think that might be it. 01:27:15.796 --> 01:27:17.938 And nothing's beating the Annie Lennox one, is it? 01:27:18.438 --> 01:27:19.459 Annie-ling-op. 01:27:20.808 --> 01:27:21.168 Brilliant. 01:27:21.849 --> 01:27:27.575 If we'd come up with that at the beginning, then people would have had a better idea for the levels of rubbishness we were looking for. 01:27:27.775 --> 01:27:29.036 We did, more or less, though, didn't we? 01:27:29.056 --> 01:27:30.197 Yeah, maybe we did. 01:27:30.217 --> 01:27:30.898 A kneeling ox. 01:27:31.158 --> 01:27:32.079 That was a good one, man. 01:27:32.139 --> 01:27:35.463 Thank you very much, indeed, listeners, for all your texts and emails. 01:27:35.523 --> 01:27:37.765 And don't forget, if you're listening to this show, 01:27:38.866 --> 01:27:41.830 throughout the week on Listen Again or on the iPlayer. 01:27:42.210 --> 01:27:45.294 It's not too late to send in your suggestions, your rubbish jokes. 01:27:45.334 --> 01:27:48.778 They might be read out on next week's podcast in Retro Text the Nation. 01:27:48.799 --> 01:27:55.166 Yeah, that's a special segment that's only in the podcast where people who... Oh, I'm losing interest in my explanation. 01:27:56.568 --> 01:28:00.391 It's a chance for people who don't listen to the live show to interact with the podcast. 01:28:00.451 --> 01:28:00.871 Well done. 01:28:00.891 --> 01:28:01.652 All right. 01:28:01.732 --> 01:28:03.973 Now, here's a little bit more music before we say goodbye to you. 01:28:03.993 --> 01:28:04.594 It's a free play, right? 01:28:04.714 --> 01:28:04.934 Yeah. 01:28:05.074 --> 01:28:05.274 Yeah. 01:28:05.294 --> 01:28:06.575 This is my new favorite band. 01:28:06.595 --> 01:28:07.616 This is Hatchim Social. 01:28:07.636 --> 01:28:09.637 And you like a bit of poetry, don't you, Adam? 01:28:09.797 --> 01:28:10.458 Love poetry. 01:28:10.558 --> 01:28:12.459 Do you like a bit of maniac cackling? 01:28:13.669 --> 01:28:15.490 Yeah, I'm an I call cackling, I love it. 01:28:15.550 --> 01:28:17.351 Yeah, do you like a guitar? 01:28:17.731 --> 01:28:18.151 Certainly. 01:28:18.191 --> 01:28:19.232 Well here's all three of them. 01:28:19.492 --> 01:28:20.593 Together. 01:28:20.673 --> 01:28:21.613 This is Jabberwocky. 01:28:21.753 --> 01:28:22.213 Blimey. 01:28:22.513 --> 01:28:24.935 That's the kind of thing that bands used to do a lot more. 01:28:24.995 --> 01:28:25.835 Well they're doing it again. 01:28:25.855 --> 01:28:27.176 And they haven't done it for a while. 01:28:27.596 --> 01:28:30.758 Don't they get the lyrics, er, not the lyrics, the words to that poem wrong? 01:28:30.858 --> 01:28:32.859 Isn't it O Fraptious Day, Kalukale? 01:28:33.199 --> 01:28:33.679 I've no idea. 01:28:33.719 --> 01:28:34.940 He says something else there. 01:28:35.920 --> 01:28:46.731 Bit of a artistic license that was hatch from social and he's going for the full moi ha ha as well Yeah, he's not doing it by halves and the cackling Well, that's it for our show. 01:28:46.751 --> 01:28:49.614 Thanks very much to everyone who has texted and emailed. 01:28:49.834 --> 01:28:59.044 Hey, we gotta listen We got a text from Richard Herring incidentally who we were talking about earlier because there was a bit of irresponsible Steven edge at one of his gigs and 01:28:59.824 --> 01:29:01.045 Yeah, he says, Richard Herring here. 01:29:01.105 --> 01:29:03.187 I'm told you're discussing the Steven at my gig. 01:29:03.547 --> 01:29:10.372 While I think it's probably a good rule of thumb never to Steven during a performance, just before curtain up might be a good time. 01:29:10.672 --> 01:29:16.136 Luckily, the Steven did not disrupt things too much and the Steven was contrite afterwards. 01:29:16.517 --> 01:29:18.378 Use your Stevens wisely, my friends. 01:29:18.538 --> 01:29:19.098 There you go. 01:29:19.179 --> 01:29:21.240 Wise words from Richard Herring there. 01:29:21.300 --> 01:29:21.840 Thanks, Richard. 01:29:21.901 --> 01:29:23.422 And thank you very much indeed for listening. 01:29:23.442 --> 01:29:24.783 We hope you have a wonderful week. 01:29:24.863 --> 01:29:26.424 Don't forget to listen to the podcast. 01:29:26.824 --> 01:29:42.555 it'll be available to download probably on Tuesday sometime, once it's been through all the mechanisms of checking and stuff, make sure that it's not, you know, disrespecting anyone or not safeguarding trust in any way like that, because otherwise that would be bad. 01:29:42.755 --> 01:29:51.841 Yeah, we'll be back with you live here on BBC 6 Music next Saturday, between 9am and 12 noon, and coming up next is Liz Kershaw, so stay tuned, have a good week, we love you, bye!