WEBVTT 00:00.049 --> 00:01.269 Good morning! 00:02.750 --> 00:04.050 My name is Björk. 00:04.350 --> 00:05.511 Oh, that's your Bjork impression? 00:05.531 --> 00:05.911 Yes! 00:06.691 --> 00:07.892 I am confused! 00:08.432 --> 00:09.752 What kind of Bjork impression is that? 00:09.772 --> 00:10.172 I don't know. 00:10.372 --> 00:11.313 It's an early morning one. 00:12.213 --> 00:14.894 She's more like a kind of a pixi-citor. 00:15.334 --> 00:16.054 Like that. 00:16.074 --> 00:18.135 That was yours was with him as a man. 00:18.195 --> 00:19.576 Hello, my name is Björk. 00:25.073 --> 00:27.614 She's like a little pixie robot from Iceland. 00:27.794 --> 00:28.634 That's like Björg. 00:29.334 --> 00:34.156 That's very insulting to all the people of Iceland who have their own distinctive accent. 00:34.376 --> 00:38.617 You can't really do accents per se these days, can you? 00:38.657 --> 00:40.877 They are of a peace racist. 00:41.337 --> 00:41.858 You reckon? 00:41.978 --> 00:42.118 Yeah. 00:42.178 --> 00:43.078 It's all racist. 00:43.118 --> 00:43.698 It's all racist. 00:43.758 --> 00:51.260 That's why when they remake Wallander, the famous European detective show with Kenneth Branagh, what country is he from? 00:51.280 --> 00:51.880 What are you talking about? 00:52.040 --> 00:52.381 Holland? 00:52.461 --> 00:52.942 Wallander? 00:53.002 --> 00:54.484 Come on, it's the new sensation. 00:55.005 --> 00:56.066 Wallander from Holland? 00:56.306 --> 00:57.949 Yeah, I don't think he's from Holland. 00:57.989 --> 00:59.992 He's from... ...Swissland or something. 01:00.212 --> 01:00.813 Swaziland? 01:01.134 --> 01:02.816 No, uh, somewhere in Europe. 01:03.377 --> 01:05.640 He's the new Dr. Morse, Inspector Morse. 01:05.680 --> 01:07.022 And he does a good accent, does he? 01:07.683 --> 01:13.888 No, the whole series is set abroad in somewhere like Switzerland or Holland, but they all talk in English. 01:14.148 --> 01:14.929 Right, exactly. 01:15.149 --> 01:16.290 Yeah. 01:16.731 --> 01:18.212 And he's playing a Swiss man. 01:18.412 --> 01:20.314 Yeah, with Swiss friends. 01:20.854 --> 01:25.678 He's not Swiss, I think I'm wrong about Swiss, but somewhere around that general area, I didn't watch at all. 01:26.238 --> 01:27.259 Good facts, we got mad. 01:27.279 --> 01:27.920 Thanks, thanks, thanks. 01:27.960 --> 01:28.700 We're off to a good start. 01:28.720 --> 01:30.362 We're straight in there armed with all the facts. 01:30.662 --> 01:31.603 But they just talk English. 01:31.923 --> 01:32.163 Right. 01:33.104 --> 01:34.145 Uh, which seems weird. 01:34.225 --> 01:35.706 That's the way to go sometimes with accents. 01:35.726 --> 01:36.186 Do you think? 01:36.326 --> 01:37.207 I think so, yeah. 01:37.507 --> 01:43.191 You just locate it, you know, I mean, Tom Cruise, he's not going German in, uh, Valkyrie, is he? 01:43.572 --> 01:43.992 Isn't he? 01:44.212 --> 01:44.432 No. 01:44.552 --> 01:45.573 Not even a little accent. 01:45.633 --> 01:46.334 Not even a little. 01:46.354 --> 01:47.715 You see, that's gonna confuse me. 01:48.235 --> 01:50.177 I want Germans to speak like this. 01:50.477 --> 01:52.058 Well, so do I. I agree with you. 01:52.118 --> 01:52.759 Absolutely. 01:53.279 --> 01:57.042 You know, funnily enough, I've got some clips to play you a little bit later on, which pertains exactly to this. 01:57.082 --> 01:57.302 Really? 01:57.322 --> 01:59.043 They can't just come in and go, hello, mate. 01:59.484 --> 02:00.084 I'm German. 02:00.424 --> 02:00.765 I know. 02:01.085 --> 02:03.827 But the German accent like this, that is considered quite racist. 02:03.847 --> 02:07.590 Well, this is my initial point at the beginning of this very rambly link. 02:08.230 --> 02:11.413 Well, you're right about the rambly link and also about the racism of the accent. 02:11.833 --> 02:13.114 Accents are now racist. 02:13.154 --> 02:14.475 They cannot be done anymore. 02:14.656 --> 02:15.616 Now you are racist now. 02:15.636 --> 02:16.337 You are racist. 02:16.517 --> 02:17.578 You are more racist than me? 02:17.618 --> 02:18.979 Look at you in your tight trousers. 02:18.999 --> 02:19.520 Let's dance. 02:19.540 --> 02:22.162 Ooh, we shall dance while this next song plays. 02:22.202 --> 02:22.943 The Stone Roses. 02:23.683 --> 02:24.144 Waterfall. 02:24.464 --> 02:25.625 She's a waterfall. 02:26.045 --> 02:26.986 Yes, she is a waterfall. 02:27.006 --> 02:28.187 That's inconvenient though, isn't it? 02:28.207 --> 02:29.128 Don't go chasing her. 02:29.448 --> 02:35.033 I mean, she's just gonna leave a trail of dampness and destruction everywhere she goes, isn't she? 02:35.333 --> 02:35.574 Yes. 02:36.034 --> 02:36.694 That's very bad. 02:36.715 --> 02:37.055 Sorry. 02:37.255 --> 02:38.216 I wouldn't invite her round. 02:38.649 --> 02:43.510 Hey listen, we've forgotten the basics so far in our links to say good morning listeners. 02:43.790 --> 02:44.650 Where Adam and Joe? 02:45.210 --> 02:45.690 I'm Joe. 02:46.071 --> 02:46.571 I'm Adam. 02:47.291 --> 02:51.372 And welcome to BBC Six Music on a Saturday morning if you've just tuned in. 02:51.432 --> 02:53.172 Quite a miserable Saturday morning. 02:53.312 --> 02:54.792 It could be the end of the world. 02:54.992 --> 02:57.873 Certainly in southern England there are flood warnings all over the place. 02:58.713 --> 03:01.354 You're advised if you're in bed at the moment just stay there. 03:01.534 --> 03:02.654 Absolutely stay there. 03:02.714 --> 03:04.014 I wish I could have stayed there. 03:04.294 --> 03:06.655 Credit crunch Christmas, you don't need to buy any presents. 03:06.835 --> 03:07.695 We've established that. 03:08.355 --> 03:09.696 Not even to support the economy. 03:09.737 --> 03:11.318 Find other ways of supporting the economy. 03:11.338 --> 03:13.700 Get yourself a hot toddy or a hot dobby. 03:14.240 --> 03:15.602 If you've got a dobby to hand. 03:16.102 --> 03:17.563 Bad dobby, not a dobby. 03:18.004 --> 03:18.885 Move over there, dobby. 03:19.325 --> 03:20.146 My thighs are cold. 03:20.326 --> 03:22.328 And baton down the hatches. 03:23.188 --> 03:24.489 Baton. 03:24.630 --> 03:24.990 Baton. 03:25.390 --> 03:28.333 You see, that's another possible egg corn for me. 03:28.573 --> 03:30.055 Oh really, batter down the hatches you said? 03:30.075 --> 03:31.757 Yeah, pour batter down the hatches. 03:32.037 --> 03:34.420 I thought it was a medieval war method. 03:34.680 --> 03:35.041 Right. 03:35.101 --> 03:36.663 Pour some batter down them hatches. 03:36.783 --> 03:38.345 I've got batter on over me! 03:38.865 --> 03:39.566 Oh my god! 03:39.907 --> 03:41.148 That's a joke for the under sevens. 03:41.749 --> 03:42.369 That's a good joke. 03:42.410 --> 03:42.930 Thanks mate. 03:43.210 --> 03:45.033 I'm under seven, mentally. 03:45.793 --> 03:47.775 So, yeah, we're very happy to be here, folks. 03:47.815 --> 03:49.677 Hope you stick with us until 12 o'clock. 03:50.037 --> 03:52.799 We have the resolution of Song Wars coming up in the next hour. 03:53.140 --> 03:57.303 We did songs last week about national treasures, figures of absolute love. 03:57.783 --> 03:59.365 I did Stephen Fry. 03:59.885 --> 04:00.846 I did Joanne Alumni. 04:00.866 --> 04:07.331 And we got sent an email during the week saying that there is a website about national treasures where they list these people. 04:07.411 --> 04:07.632 Oh, yeah. 04:08.172 --> 04:13.155 Fry is very much on there, Lumley apparently isn't on there, hasn't been nominated, not a lot of interest in Fry. 04:13.255 --> 04:13.715 Disgrace. 04:14.315 --> 04:15.716 I'm not sure she's a disgrace. 04:15.836 --> 04:17.097 No, no, it's a disgrace that. 04:17.117 --> 04:17.957 It is a disgrace. 04:17.977 --> 04:19.658 I dare you call her a disgrace. 04:19.678 --> 04:21.059 I'm on Wade in there calling her a disgrace. 04:21.079 --> 04:21.679 What's your problem? 04:21.959 --> 04:23.260 She's lovely, I agree with you. 04:23.920 --> 04:28.983 Maybe people think, you know, they're confusing her with her part in Absolutely Fabulous. 04:29.103 --> 04:29.323 Right. 04:29.823 --> 04:32.324 And think she's a sort of disgrace. 04:34.045 --> 04:38.293 Your song about her was unironically, you know, affectionate. 04:38.373 --> 04:41.239 Yeah, I decided to just be fairly straightforward about it. 04:41.459 --> 04:46.188 And I think a lot of our listeners, though, thought that you were taking out of all the Michael out of it. 04:46.565 --> 04:46.905 Really? 04:46.965 --> 04:47.206 Yeah. 04:47.486 --> 04:49.067 Well, that's a good get-out clause, isn't it? 04:49.107 --> 04:49.807 Right, right. 04:49.887 --> 04:50.648 Maybe I would. 04:50.728 --> 04:51.148 For life. 04:52.229 --> 04:52.749 Exactly. 04:52.989 --> 04:53.210 Yeah. 04:53.570 --> 04:58.993 But you said... Just before I die, my final words will be, only joking, that was just ironic. 05:00.554 --> 05:16.205 You said last week though, after we played our songs, you said, oh Adam, it looks as if you're doing quite well initially, but then Ben sent through some emails during the week, our producer Ben, that did not indicate that I was doing well at all though, as people saying, Joe's song was brilliant, Adam's was really annoying. 05:16.425 --> 05:17.186 That was quite absurd. 05:17.266 --> 05:17.506 Really? 05:17.646 --> 05:18.126 Annoying. 05:18.146 --> 05:18.867 I didn't see that one. 05:18.887 --> 05:20.008 I would have liked to read that one. 05:20.028 --> 05:20.889 It was more than one. 05:20.909 --> 05:22.450 You could have given me a midweek pick me up. 05:22.750 --> 05:23.591 It was more than one. 05:24.031 --> 05:26.393 No, I mean, annoying is the worst thing to be, though, isn't it? 05:26.413 --> 05:30.756 Well, listen, we should say to the listeners that we are getting, because we're getting quite a lot of emails. 05:31.057 --> 05:33.839 And our emails are beautifully written, generally, wouldn't you say? 05:33.879 --> 05:35.220 The people who write into us. 05:35.460 --> 05:36.021 Yeah, they're articulate. 05:36.041 --> 05:37.362 They're properly structured letters. 05:37.582 --> 05:38.403 They've got full stops. 05:38.623 --> 05:42.066 Maybe we should encourage handwritten letters in ink pen. 05:42.386 --> 05:42.986 Don't you think? 05:43.687 --> 05:44.948 That would be even more elegant. 05:45.228 --> 05:49.791 And then we could certainly guarantee to read those ones as long as they weren't obscene or even boring. 05:49.891 --> 05:53.713 But as a result, we do read all the every single email we get. 05:53.853 --> 05:59.517 That's why we're getting them in during the week sent to our homes because we don't have time to read them during the show. 06:00.377 --> 06:02.719 And now I forgot what I was talking about. 06:02.739 --> 06:04.180 So I'm just going to have a little bit of a nap. 06:04.620 --> 06:05.321 That's fair enough. 06:05.941 --> 06:09.543 Yeah, but the only problem with the whole situation is that I get to read how annoying my song is. 06:09.583 --> 06:14.746 Anyway, you'll find out for yourself later on when we announce who the winner of Song Wars is going to be. 06:14.786 --> 06:16.908 It should be quite a tight race this week, I would think. 06:17.428 --> 06:22.471 And of course, later on we have Text to Nation and some more great music to play. 06:22.611 --> 06:23.832 Is it my free choice now, Ben? 06:24.252 --> 06:26.113 This is a little bit of an M.O.R. 06:26.593 --> 06:27.793 smash for you right now. 06:28.413 --> 06:36.256 I heard this song first when I was about nine years old and I was on an aeroplane and I was flicking through the stations on the aeroplane there. 06:36.476 --> 06:36.936 The Muppets? 06:37.677 --> 06:39.097 And it's not the Muppets, no. 06:39.217 --> 06:45.379 And this is back in the day when on aeroplanes you had those headphones that were just tubes of plastic. 06:45.439 --> 06:46.339 Like a stethoscope. 06:46.359 --> 06:46.580 Yeah. 06:46.720 --> 06:50.821 And you would plug in your tube of plastic and the music was coming out of the actual armrest. 06:51.221 --> 06:57.646 And if you didn't, if you couldn't afford the tubes of plastic, you could just lean down and listen through the holes in the armrest. 06:57.966 --> 06:59.647 I mean, that sounds anti-deluvian, doesn't it? 06:59.707 --> 07:00.688 But it's real! 07:00.708 --> 07:01.329 It happened! 07:01.789 --> 07:06.913 And this was one of the songs that really stuck out when I was flicking around the channels on British Airways back in the day. 07:07.273 --> 07:07.833 Bee Gees! 07:07.933 --> 07:09.054 And How Deep Is Your Love? 07:09.314 --> 07:10.535 Couple of little skips in there. 07:10.575 --> 07:13.778 That's my old copy of the Saturday Night Fever CD there. 07:14.098 --> 07:16.480 It's a little bit scratched up, so apologies for that. 07:16.700 --> 07:18.841 Do you enjoy the take that cover of that song? 07:18.881 --> 07:18.982 No. 07:19.742 --> 07:21.224 Even though it's pretty much identical. 07:21.385 --> 07:22.346 Yeah, no, not having it. 07:22.566 --> 07:22.947 Why not? 07:23.307 --> 07:28.555 Because it's created in the spirit of something yucky and post. 07:28.936 --> 07:29.697 You know what I'm saying? 07:30.037 --> 07:30.177 What? 07:30.238 --> 07:31.780 It's a sort of unnecessary cash-in. 07:32.068 --> 07:40.073 Yeah, I mean it matters to me what the spirit of the original recording was, and with the Bee Gees, that was proper. 07:40.374 --> 07:43.156 But anything that take that are doing is somehow revolting. 07:43.216 --> 07:44.056 Hey, really? 07:44.176 --> 07:44.617 Yeah, yeah. 07:44.717 --> 07:47.418 I would say they are close to becoming national treasures. 07:47.479 --> 07:48.699 I know, it's gotta stop. 07:49.000 --> 07:50.200 I don't think so, I like them. 07:50.360 --> 07:51.021 Do you like them? 07:51.261 --> 07:52.302 Yeah, I like them. 07:52.422 --> 07:56.524 Did you buy me Gary Barlow's biography for Christmas or are you giving something away? 07:56.684 --> 07:57.224 We are. 07:57.244 --> 08:00.385 That's a little teaser for next week's pre-record. 08:00.465 --> 08:02.306 A Christmas show Adam gave me. 08:02.326 --> 08:06.088 We give each other presents on the Christmas show and how many in the show altogether? 08:06.168 --> 08:06.468 Six. 08:06.788 --> 08:07.569 Yeah, three each we get. 08:07.829 --> 08:09.670 So I've given one of them away, but I read it. 08:10.110 --> 08:10.490 Did you? 08:10.630 --> 08:12.391 Yeah, and it made me really like him. 08:12.711 --> 08:36.689 right because they have a proper comeback story now i mean he really did hit proper lows and he's a good songwriter barlow whether you like what he writes or not he's a talented individual yeah i find him very sympathetic right and the book really sold him to me you know he was locked in his house smoking jazz cigarettes non-stop very depressed for a year or so tortured by images of williams and 08:36.829 --> 08:39.431 Yeah, of Robbie Williams being horrible to him. 08:40.151 --> 08:47.397 And it's somehow comforting for everybody in the world who might feel, you know, they're on a bit of a downward curve that things can turn around. 08:47.637 --> 08:49.618 And you might get some kind of TV special. 08:49.979 --> 08:50.519 Exactly. 08:50.579 --> 08:54.182 An amazing sort of promotional TV special. 08:54.722 --> 08:57.564 And be in a super duper advert. 08:57.744 --> 08:57.984 Yeah. 08:58.224 --> 09:01.046 And just be sort of cuddly and a national treasure. 09:01.147 --> 09:05.690 And if you're Mark Owen, get to sing one of your really quite bad songs almost solo. 09:06.090 --> 09:06.631 Really, did he? 09:06.671 --> 09:07.491 I didn't see that TV special. 09:07.511 --> 09:07.952 Did you not? 09:08.312 --> 09:09.293 Did he see the Green Man? 09:09.733 --> 09:11.414 No, I don't know if it was one of his solo ones. 09:11.434 --> 09:14.036 I'm not sufficiently familiar with the... That was my Mark Owen impression. 09:14.056 --> 09:15.417 That's very good. 09:16.458 --> 09:17.399 That's a bit cruel, isn't it? 09:17.479 --> 09:25.185 No, you know, I mean, I don't mean to be unnecessarily horrible about Take That, but I mean, it's hard to get excited about the music though, isn't it? 09:25.425 --> 09:27.826 Yeah, but it's quite easy to get excited about there. 09:27.986 --> 09:28.807 About the personalities. 09:28.827 --> 09:29.567 The chummy grins. 09:29.587 --> 09:30.388 Well, that's OK. 09:30.428 --> 09:30.888 Fair enough. 09:31.188 --> 09:31.768 I wish them well. 09:31.808 --> 09:32.529 And it is nice. 09:32.569 --> 09:35.670 It certainly is nice to see them bounce back and have a bit of success. 09:35.690 --> 09:41.513 And to see Williams with his tail between his legs coming back and, you know, wanting to be in the band again. 09:41.553 --> 09:42.634 Does he want to be in the band again? 09:43.174 --> 09:44.075 Does he really? 09:44.655 --> 09:46.896 Well, that is an amazing turn up for the books, isn't it? 09:46.916 --> 09:48.037 Yeah, there's hope for everybody. 09:48.157 --> 09:49.337 After the arrogant years. 09:49.397 --> 09:49.737 Yeah. 09:49.977 --> 09:50.778 Well, there you go. 09:51.298 --> 09:54.000 Okay, it's time for an exciting Christmas trail now, listeners. 09:54.060 --> 09:54.640 Check this out. 09:54.820 --> 09:57.242 Darlene Love with Marshmello World. 09:57.302 --> 10:01.084 Again, a revolting and impractical way of looking at the world. 10:01.124 --> 10:02.925 It would just be appalling and sticky. 10:03.065 --> 10:04.606 You could toast it over a hot fire, though. 10:04.626 --> 10:05.246 That would be nice. 10:05.487 --> 10:06.127 You could toast it. 10:06.147 --> 10:06.707 Yeah, you could toast. 10:06.727 --> 10:08.829 You could just take a flamethrower to the couch. 10:09.069 --> 10:11.730 Maybe the world is being toasted over a flame, though. 10:12.511 --> 10:13.131 Thanks, Elgore. 10:13.151 --> 10:13.671 Global warming. 10:13.912 --> 10:14.472 Thanks very much. 10:14.572 --> 10:16.133 Nice point, Joe. 10:16.353 --> 10:18.354 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 10:19.855 --> 10:21.536 You know, there's a little thing. 10:21.576 --> 10:21.996 What's it called? 10:22.016 --> 10:22.816 The text scroll. 10:22.876 --> 10:22.976 Yeah. 10:23.096 --> 10:34.561 If you're listening to this show on a digital radio or on a radio with a kind of readout thing, they scroll information about the show in letters like a ticker tape panel across your radio. 10:35.961 --> 10:45.205 And we've been quite taken aback by the bit of text that someone at the BBC has chosen to use to describe this show that apparently rolls across people's radio screens. 10:45.285 --> 10:45.905 It says what? 10:46.425 --> 10:46.865 What does it say? 10:46.885 --> 10:48.986 It says something like music and idiotic chat. 10:49.733 --> 11:09.513 idiotic chat like what's the deal with that maybe the person that wrote it was being affectionate right and and thought oh well you know I mean we admit ourselves that there are I don't there's nothing idiotic about my chat yeah but sometimes we admit though we have shortcomings as DJ's every now and again but you know to have someone else say that is a different thing 11:10.194 --> 11:12.155 And then to put it on the text scroll. 11:12.175 --> 11:13.856 To have the company you work for. 11:14.317 --> 11:15.938 Describe it as that. 11:15.958 --> 11:17.078 It's a little bit insulting. 11:17.498 --> 11:19.520 We thought our chat was quite good sometimes. 11:19.580 --> 11:20.140 Sometimes. 11:20.160 --> 11:20.901 You know what I mean? 11:20.921 --> 11:24.223 They just hired us unknowingly because we're idiots. 11:25.003 --> 11:26.164 That's all they think of us. 11:26.444 --> 11:31.447 They may as well just put, it's monkey time with two monkeys that we hide from the zoo. 11:32.127 --> 11:35.851 Two moronic monkeys that we've chosen to, we've taught them to speak. 11:36.291 --> 11:40.455 They can't speak that well, but they do it for about three hours with music in between. 11:40.735 --> 11:41.576 So we've changed it. 11:41.736 --> 11:42.877 This is what we're gonna have instead. 11:42.917 --> 11:43.498 What are we gonna have? 11:44.739 --> 11:48.703 Uh, is that, well, our producer Ben has just said that we can, we can change it. 11:48.743 --> 11:49.784 We're capable of changing it. 11:51.705 --> 11:51.926 Really? 11:51.966 --> 11:52.887 Who, did you change that? 11:54.195 --> 11:59.020 Well, apparently it says Dr. Buckles and Dr. Sexy sort you out on a Saturday morning. 11:59.040 --> 12:00.342 That just sounds revolting. 12:00.922 --> 12:02.404 Yeah, that does sound dirty. 12:02.604 --> 12:02.985 Doesn't it? 12:03.165 --> 12:04.106 That's the other extreme. 12:04.146 --> 12:06.468 So that's actually what's up there now, so they have changed it. 12:06.508 --> 12:07.750 So do they change it every week then? 12:09.313 --> 12:09.993 Who changes it? 12:10.293 --> 12:11.434 Who's responsible for this? 12:12.654 --> 12:14.174 Well, listen, we're gonna change it. 12:14.374 --> 12:17.915 We could even get suggestions from people as to what it should read. 12:18.155 --> 12:24.877 Our idea is to change it to fascinating and informed pop cultural overview from attractive geniuses. 12:25.137 --> 12:26.398 What do you think about that, listeners? 12:26.418 --> 12:27.598 I think that's more accurate. 12:27.638 --> 12:29.439 How many words do you think it needs to be, Ben? 12:29.919 --> 12:32.099 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. 12:32.179 --> 12:32.979 Sort of ten words. 12:32.999 --> 12:34.380 That's on the long side, certainly. 12:35.380 --> 12:42.601 If you could, if you listeners could think up the pithiest, you know, if you could think of a three-word description of the show that would just really knock people's socks off. 12:42.621 --> 12:43.802 That is asking for trouble, isn't it? 12:45.062 --> 12:45.762 Can't be rude. 12:46.182 --> 12:47.802 No, obviously it can't be rude or insulting. 12:47.822 --> 12:49.223 That's the whole thing we're trying to avoid. 12:49.863 --> 12:52.423 Now, here's some music to take us up to the news. 12:52.863 --> 12:56.104 This is a bit of Bon Iver with restacks. 12:56.364 --> 12:57.004 Bon Iver. 12:57.164 --> 13:00.025 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music on a Saturday morning. 13:00.085 --> 13:00.245 It's 9.30. 13:00.605 --> 13:01.645 It's time for the news. 13:03.180 --> 13:12.990 It's time for song wars, the war of the songs A couple of tunes by a couple of prongs Which will you vote for? 13:13.631 --> 13:15.072 Which one is the best? 13:15.633 --> 13:19.677 We're putting our songs to the listener test So check it out 13:20.666 --> 13:24.947 Yes, listeners, it's Song Wars time here on The Adam and Jo Show on BBC Six Music. 13:26.007 --> 13:31.068 Last week, we recorded and wrote, if you can describe it as writing. 13:31.168 --> 13:34.009 Well, my song was actually based on a Gary Newman tune. 13:34.369 --> 13:34.549 Right. 13:34.649 --> 13:42.851 Two songs we wrote based on national treasures, people, personalities who the nation should take to their hearts forever. 13:43.191 --> 13:43.971 Yes, exactly. 13:44.171 --> 13:47.272 I did a song about Stephen Fry in the style of early Numenoid. 13:47.552 --> 13:49.853 And I did a style, a what? 13:49.913 --> 13:54.796 A song about Joanna Lumley in the style of a kind of really weedy man. 13:56.256 --> 13:57.437 You can take convenience styles. 13:57.457 --> 14:01.639 Yeah, I'm worried that my song stepped over some kind of invisible weediness line. 14:01.899 --> 14:02.039 Right. 14:02.059 --> 14:02.619 Do you know what I mean? 14:02.639 --> 14:04.660 You should never be afraid to step over the weedy line. 14:04.780 --> 14:05.121 Really? 14:05.241 --> 14:05.361 No. 14:06.181 --> 14:30.464 Okay, and so apparently Ben our producer says that it's the closest song wars ever ever two votes in it or something Which means that like if any if anything's come through recently that wouldn't have been counted Well four votes have come through right since the show began two for you and two for me Keeping it level pegging How many votes then are there in the in the between the winner and the loser without giving away who has lost or won? 14:30.504 --> 14:30.724 Yes 14:31.465 --> 14:31.725 Literally. 14:31.745 --> 14:33.126 Just a couple, literally two. 14:34.047 --> 14:34.327 Wow. 14:34.687 --> 14:41.351 We could find out who those people are and publish their names on police websites so that vigilantes could get them. 14:41.711 --> 14:41.972 Yeah. 14:41.992 --> 14:43.953 It's the kind of thing people like to do these days, right? 14:44.313 --> 14:44.633 Yes. 14:44.873 --> 14:45.674 Hanging Chads. 14:45.994 --> 14:48.976 Honestly, it's all, that's what it's come down to in song wars. 14:48.996 --> 14:49.156 Wow. 14:49.176 --> 14:51.698 We've got it in a BBC window envelope. 14:51.758 --> 14:52.478 That's impressive. 14:52.498 --> 14:53.339 That's a new thing. 14:53.499 --> 14:55.740 And it's all printed song through the window. 14:56.100 --> 14:57.581 Open up, Joe's opening the envelope. 14:58.262 --> 14:58.802 Sound effects. 14:58.982 --> 15:03.928 The winner, of course, will get their song played on national digital radio. 15:03.948 --> 15:05.290 Oh, well there's a surprise. 15:07.188 --> 15:09.130 Cornballs takes it! 15:09.190 --> 15:12.953 Cornballs takes it by... By 2%! 15:12.993 --> 15:14.053 51% to 49. 15:14.434 --> 15:17.296 Well, there's gonna be a lot of angry listeners. 15:17.736 --> 15:21.019 And listen, I even got a response, though, from Fry. 15:21.199 --> 15:21.579 Wow. 15:21.879 --> 15:23.180 Did you get any Lumley action? 15:23.581 --> 15:24.221 I'm not sure. 15:24.261 --> 15:26.183 Should we get into that after we've heard the song? 15:26.583 --> 15:26.903 Maybe. 15:27.023 --> 15:29.946 Let's hear the song and then get into any kind of response we've got. 15:30.006 --> 15:31.467 This is La La La Lumley. 15:31.798 --> 15:36.120 For 55 years of my life, I've dreamt about seeing the Northern Lights. 15:36.501 --> 15:39.042 She was born in Kashmir in 1946. 15:39.142 --> 15:43.965 Her father was a major in the Gurkha Rifles. 15:44.525 --> 15:47.407 When she was a little girl, she had a picture book. 15:48.107 --> 15:52.290 With a drawing of the Northern Lights, she wished she'd one day see that sight. 15:52.830 --> 15:55.611 She applied for Rada, but she did not get in. 15:56.312 --> 15:59.714 They said she'd never be a model too ugly and nothing. 16:00.334 --> 16:23.812 But she ignored the scorn they poured, confounded her detractors Five years later, she was Britain's most intimate model and actress La la la la la, la la la la la la la This is the journey I've always been trapped in making As a party in the new Avengers, she'd kill you with her heel An alien with psychic powers and sapphire and steel 16:24.392 --> 16:31.950 But in her mind she did still find her unspoken ambition To see the northern lights before she died was still her mission 16:42.973 --> 16:48.715 My only dread is that we won't get to see her. 16:48.795 --> 16:49.816 Something's happening. 17:13.464 --> 17:14.786 Thank you. 17:14.806 --> 17:16.668 I think I can die happy now. 17:34.005 --> 17:35.146 That's La La La Lumbly. 17:36.366 --> 17:44.310 And in case you weren't listening last week, that is a sort of description of the documentary she made when she went to see the Northern Lights, which was a childhood dream of hers. 17:44.870 --> 17:47.352 So no Lumbly response that you got there? 17:47.392 --> 17:49.573 As far as I know, no Lumbly response, right? 17:49.613 --> 17:50.873 She's probably off filming. 17:50.893 --> 17:52.034 She's filming. 17:52.074 --> 17:53.115 She is off filming, right. 17:53.155 --> 17:55.616 Have you attempted to approach her agent? 17:57.130 --> 17:58.171 You've been trying to find her. 17:58.211 --> 18:01.592 You've got physically out and about on a little sort of... Scooter. 18:01.833 --> 18:03.293 Scooty tooty. 18:04.094 --> 18:04.814 Tooting and scooty. 18:04.834 --> 18:05.254 Well done. 18:05.314 --> 18:07.015 But that's... Thank you for the two people. 18:07.035 --> 18:07.696 JWANA! 18:08.116 --> 18:10.057 Has anyone seen JWANA Lovely? 18:10.397 --> 18:12.838 That's what Ben's been doing this week on his scooter. 18:14.079 --> 18:19.062 On Stephen Fry's Twitter site, Twitter is another social networking site, right? 18:19.142 --> 18:20.682 It's more like an RSS feed. 18:20.863 --> 18:21.303 What's that? 18:21.803 --> 18:23.024 It's sort of just... Like a blog? 18:23.684 --> 18:32.751 Yeah, even more minimal than a blog, it kind of sends you... It's a bit like the status update on Facebook, where you type in how you're feeling at that particular moment. 18:33.071 --> 18:39.976 But I think, as far as I know, you sort of have it open in a window on your desktop and all during the day little messages are coming through from everyone on your network. 18:40.076 --> 18:40.836 What a nightmare. 18:41.056 --> 18:41.337 I know. 18:41.677 --> 18:45.459 Why would Stephen Fry, a man who you would assume would be incredibly busy, 18:46.400 --> 18:47.620 Wanna get involved with that? 18:47.640 --> 18:49.181 Because it gives him a sense of connection. 18:49.561 --> 18:49.821 Okay. 18:49.941 --> 18:50.721 Sense of fellowship. 18:51.021 --> 18:55.683 Anyway, here he is on Twitter saying, I have now heard the Adam and Jo song. 18:56.123 --> 18:58.424 Thanks to all of you who gleefully pointed me to it. 18:58.664 --> 19:00.484 Very charming, silly and sweet. 19:00.864 --> 19:02.105 Just like Adam and Jo. 19:03.365 --> 19:03.425 Hey! 19:03.625 --> 19:10.067 How exciting to get a written message from Stephen Fry, but wouldn't it be more exciting if we had a spoken one? 19:10.347 --> 19:14.290 Yes, of course what happened was that I forgot to press star and then hash. 19:14.710 --> 19:17.892 This isn't the normal answer phone you seem to have in your office. 19:17.912 --> 19:25.437 It's a particular one and I left a long message and for all I know it's disappeared and not been saved because I haven't left star and hash. 19:25.477 --> 19:35.743 So just to reiterate, this is Stephen Fry thanking you very much for your wonderful song which touched me more deeply than I can possibly communicate to you and I'm really, I'm not going to be the same person again. 19:35.964 --> 19:36.344 Thank you. 19:37.286 --> 19:42.228 You expended luscious and extraordinary talent on me, and I don't feel at least a bit worthy. 19:43.488 --> 19:45.629 Joanna Lumley, on the other hand, was very, very worthy. 19:46.729 --> 19:54.292 But on the other hand, she didn't have the extraordinary extra compliment of being played by a garrisoning human impersonator, so that was really something. 19:54.772 --> 19:55.993 I'm very, very touched. 19:57.153 --> 19:59.274 Thank you, and I'm sorry if the line isn't very good. 19:59.314 --> 20:02.255 I'm in New York City, and we're a long way away. 20:02.811 --> 20:05.093 All the very best and happy Christmas to you and everybody. 20:05.113 --> 20:06.875 Now, I'm going to not put the phone down. 20:07.615 --> 20:09.317 Let's start and hash and see what happens. 20:09.337 --> 20:09.997 One will happen. 20:10.338 --> 20:14.601 And she will lose. 20:14.821 --> 20:16.583 That's like a little bit from his podcast. 20:16.663 --> 20:17.263 Wow. 20:17.604 --> 20:18.264 That's amazing. 20:18.284 --> 20:19.826 Thank you very much, Stephen Fry. 20:19.846 --> 20:20.827 I didn't know that. 20:20.967 --> 20:21.847 When did that come through? 20:23.189 --> 20:24.230 When did that come through, Ben? 20:24.450 --> 20:24.991 Last night. 20:25.111 --> 20:25.892 Good one! 20:25.912 --> 20:26.893 That's pretty good, isn't it? 20:27.654 --> 20:30.056 It's nice to be described as a Gareth Newman impersonator. 20:30.096 --> 20:31.678 Gareth Newman, I know! 20:32.419 --> 20:35.182 I think Stephen thinks that's what you do professionally. 20:35.422 --> 20:35.722 Yeah. 20:35.903 --> 20:40.608 You're a professional Gareth Newman impersonator who's been bought in to write that song. 20:40.708 --> 20:41.829 You know, that's fair enough. 20:41.969 --> 20:42.710 It is fair enough. 20:42.990 --> 20:46.231 Thank you very much, Stephen, and thanks to everyone who voted for Song Wars this week. 20:47.311 --> 20:50.412 We are on a bit of a Song Wars sabbatical over the Christmas period. 20:50.813 --> 20:56.774 Yeah, but we'll be back in the new year with Song Wars, early in the new year, and I think we need to do something really stupid. 20:56.794 --> 20:57.755 You reckon? 20:57.795 --> 20:58.335 Yeah, just stupid. 20:58.355 --> 20:58.835 Well, just stupid. 20:58.955 --> 20:59.115 Okay. 21:01.696 --> 21:05.077 Really silly and idiotic and stupid in terms of choosing a theme. 21:05.737 --> 21:06.577 So please help us. 21:06.637 --> 21:13.799 If you can think of an idea for a theme for Song Wars, email us Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 21:14.319 --> 21:17.720 Every single suggestion will be read and carefully considered. 21:18.220 --> 21:18.440 Yes. 21:18.500 --> 21:20.681 So what should we sing about for the first Song Wars of 2009? 21:21.721 --> 21:33.232 If you can provide us with a musical style and also, ideally, you would give us a kind of raison d'etre for the lyrics, beyond the theme, wouldn't you say? 21:33.252 --> 21:34.614 It's always helpful. 21:34.754 --> 21:35.755 The more rules, the better. 21:35.775 --> 21:37.136 The easier it can be, the better. 21:37.296 --> 21:37.737 Exactly. 21:38.457 --> 21:44.325 Let's have some music now, some real music, and this is De La Soul, and... Is it? 21:44.646 --> 21:45.507 Or is it my free play? 21:46.048 --> 21:49.492 No, I think it's De La... Oh, sorry, sorry, was it gonna be Joe's? 21:49.692 --> 21:50.614 It's exciting, isn't it? 21:50.654 --> 21:51.575 We're so disorganized. 21:53.137 --> 21:54.418 It's the Pixies, not even! 21:55.279 --> 21:56.079 And this is Debasa. 21:56.540 --> 21:58.761 Oh, that doesn't get any, any worse, that song. 21:58.801 --> 21:59.422 It's amazing. 21:59.582 --> 22:00.202 Just gets better. 22:00.222 --> 22:02.284 The Pixies with Debasa. 22:02.324 --> 22:04.846 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 22:04.906 --> 22:10.750 I'm still fluttering with pleasure from hearing Stephen Fry talk all fruity about us. 22:11.011 --> 22:12.732 It was wonderful from New York. 22:14.912 --> 22:19.116 Anyway, now Joe, did you see the comedy awards last weekend by any chance? 22:19.236 --> 22:19.616 You know what? 22:19.696 --> 22:21.858 I missed most of them, but I saw the very end. 22:22.138 --> 22:27.422 I saw a slightly cack-handed tribute to Geoffrey... Perkins. 22:27.462 --> 22:29.924 Perkins, yeah, where they misintroduced his son. 22:30.845 --> 22:35.729 And there was a bit of a tonal clash considering how sad and brilliant that guy was. 22:36.549 --> 22:43.454 It was a slightly uncomfortable shift in the sort of sixth form common room food fight atmosphere of that show. 22:44.175 --> 22:46.796 And what should have been is that slightly more serious tribute, I thought. 22:47.737 --> 22:51.600 Yeah, uh apart from that I I didn't I didn't watch it. 22:51.720 --> 23:10.953 He's had more serious tributes paid to him elsewhere Yeah, yeah, but but I find the I mean we've been to it a couple of times as Jonathan Ross's guest We've never been there invited or anywhere near a nomination as as you'll know, uh, if you listen to our podcast We ranted about it a bit complaining but um, it's a weird atmosphere in there. 23:10.993 --> 23:17.077 It's not dissimilar to the NME Awards it's a sort of award ceremony where it's perceived as so uncool to 23:18.157 --> 23:20.418 sort of be nominated for it or care about it. 23:21.018 --> 23:33.400 It'd be so uncool for the award to actually mean anything that the whole thing, at its centre, has a sort of atmosphere of cynicism and carelessness that sort of negates the event, weirdly. 23:33.560 --> 23:42.182 Yeah, it strips away all the pretensions of comedians, basically, who would like to think that they don't care about things like awards and regularly take the mic out of that kind of thing. 23:42.682 --> 23:44.382 And then suddenly they'd be nominated and they're like, 23:44.502 --> 23:45.222 Hooray! 23:45.843 --> 23:47.743 But then simultaneously being cynical. 23:48.064 --> 23:49.644 And I'm sure which gear to be in. 23:49.744 --> 23:51.985 They want their award cake and eat it, you know. 23:52.345 --> 23:58.388 And it brings out, it's interesting because it sometimes shows you the kind of real unvarnished character of some comedians. 23:58.448 --> 23:59.788 Well the whole heckling. 23:59.909 --> 24:00.669 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 24:01.169 --> 24:11.752 I mean, the whole atmosphere was completely undermined by one person last week, and I was watching the show, and it was very hard to tell where these shouts were coming from. 24:11.772 --> 24:12.952 This is Kevin Bishop, wasn't it? 24:13.012 --> 24:13.793 Yes, exactly. 24:13.813 --> 24:15.053 The Guy in Star Stories. 24:15.093 --> 24:21.175 Was over on a table in the corner, and he'd be nominated, I think, for his own program, The Kevin Bishop Show on Channel 4. 24:22.215 --> 24:26.858 and the atmosphere was already queasy because of Angus Deaton, right? 24:27.239 --> 24:34.203 He was taking over from Jonathan who was unable to do the show this year and Angus was clearly very nervous as you would be. 24:34.223 --> 24:37.406 It's a big gig for him and he's only just emerging from the 24:38.386 --> 24:39.767 you know, scars of a scandal. 24:39.867 --> 24:41.008 Yeah, from scandal jail. 24:41.649 --> 24:45.952 And so he was out there and, I mean, why would you want to do that, Kate? 24:45.992 --> 24:46.833 That is horrible. 24:47.033 --> 24:48.034 Hosting that show. 24:48.334 --> 24:54.219 Unless you're someone like Alan Carr, who probably would do it with aplomb, you know, and just mince his way through it and laugh it off. 24:54.679 --> 24:55.400 He wouldn't mind. 24:55.840 --> 24:59.563 But Deaton clearly had a little bit too much invested in doing a good job. 24:59.843 --> 25:00.804 And he does do a good job. 25:00.824 --> 25:01.945 He's a good autocue reader. 25:02.065 --> 25:02.886 Yeah, yeah, he's good. 25:03.006 --> 25:05.008 He's good all round, but I don't mean that as an insult. 25:05.028 --> 25:06.729 He's genuinely a really good auto-cucumber. 25:06.769 --> 25:07.210 Absolutely. 25:07.250 --> 25:07.850 That's a skill. 25:08.331 --> 25:12.575 And he, uh, he looked really like he was about to cry a couple of times. 25:12.855 --> 25:14.296 I mean, maybe that's not right. 25:14.336 --> 25:20.262 Maybe he was absolutely cool as a cucumber, but to me, perhaps I was projecting my fear watching him 25:20.902 --> 25:23.164 and it made for uncomfortable viewing. 25:23.465 --> 25:32.833 And then, gradually throughout the show, you began to hear these shouts and heckles that reached a crescendo when they played Ricky Gervais' acceptance message. 25:33.134 --> 25:33.234 Right. 25:33.274 --> 25:34.475 Because Gervais won. 25:34.935 --> 25:36.797 Did they win for the extra Christmas special or something? 25:36.817 --> 25:37.518 And he got heckled. 25:38.679 --> 25:43.686 And they kept the audio from the studio playing underneath while they played the clip. 25:43.706 --> 25:54.640 So you could hear this one person that turned out to be Kevin Bishop just screaming abuse at Ricky Gervais and saying boring and other things that I can't repeat on a Saturday morning. 25:55.500 --> 26:08.605 Uh, so it really made for a strange atmosphere, and you couldn't tell, like, it took a while before you got a shot of Kevin Bishop, who by the end of the program, if you switched over to ITV2 for the extra bits, was lobbing things at the stage. 26:08.725 --> 26:19.790 I did see that, yeah, and Ian Morris, a good producer who's a friend of ours, very nice guy, had to, nearly got hit on the head by some sort of bottle of... Ian won an award for a show called The Inbetweeners, which is a good show. 26:20.310 --> 26:21.171 But he caught it, didn't he? 26:21.191 --> 26:23.113 He brilliantly caught the bottle that was lobbed at his head. 26:23.293 --> 26:27.918 A full bottle of fizzy pop, I think, that Bishop lobbed over at him. 26:28.198 --> 26:31.161 And he did a brilliant catch and it was the best moment of the whole night. 26:31.461 --> 26:36.967 I think, you know, the ITV2 versions of those awards ceremonies are much the better shows, aren't they? 26:37.347 --> 26:45.879 because they correctly reflect the chaos and sort of madness of what's going on and it's much more unscripted and looser and people misbehave. 26:45.919 --> 26:46.180 Yes. 26:46.400 --> 26:48.303 And it's usually brilliant car crash telly. 26:48.483 --> 26:52.328 Well Sarah Cox and Rufus Hound were presenting their coverage and they were very good actually. 26:52.348 --> 26:53.350 They had just the right... Oh that's a shame. 26:53.891 --> 26:58.857 Well, no, but they did a good job of making it all seem sort of exciting Rufus hounds like a up-and-coming. 26:58.877 --> 27:08.210 He's very professional But I don't think that's the business ITV2 should be in they should get some chaotic hopeless presenters to do it like the early Russell Brand type thing. 27:08.290 --> 27:09.872 Yeah, we'd screw it all up for them 27:09.972 --> 27:13.656 I think, though, they should stop showing award ceremonies, full stop. 27:13.796 --> 27:14.236 You reckon? 27:14.416 --> 27:15.377 On main channels, yeah. 27:15.397 --> 27:19.181 Stick them all on the ITV2 and make them... Can I rip the backbone out of the whole TV industry? 27:19.201 --> 27:20.062 Does anyone watch them? 27:20.242 --> 27:22.524 Of course, everyone watches award ceremonies. 27:22.544 --> 27:22.824 Do they? 27:23.064 --> 27:24.346 I don't know if they do anymore. 27:24.646 --> 27:27.749 Well, X Factor is kind of like a big extended award ceremony in a way. 27:27.769 --> 27:28.309 That's different. 27:28.449 --> 27:28.650 Is it? 27:29.410 --> 27:29.931 Yes, it is. 27:29.951 --> 27:31.352 Are you voting for the Ewok tonight? 27:32.173 --> 27:33.114 Little Jimmy sweet boy. 27:33.774 --> 27:34.515 No, I don't know. 27:34.535 --> 27:35.975 I don't know what I'm gonna do tonight. 27:35.995 --> 27:38.577 I'm gonna send him back to Endor if there's anything I can do about it. 27:38.697 --> 27:39.857 It's your free choice now, Joe. 27:39.977 --> 27:44.499 Yeah, this is Beck, and it's a kind of re-recording of... Is it called Strange Invitation? 27:44.760 --> 27:46.540 Yeah, from... What album's that from then? 27:46.560 --> 27:49.022 It's a lyric in Jackass, isn't it? 27:49.102 --> 27:50.342 In Mutations, yeah. 27:50.602 --> 27:52.043 Yeah, is it Mutations or is it Odele? 27:52.143 --> 27:53.004 Oh, I can't remember. 27:53.144 --> 27:57.166 I think it might be Odele, but this is a sort of orchestral, mellow version of that song. 27:57.586 --> 27:59.027 And the strings are by his dad. 27:59.547 --> 28:00.627 Do you know about Beck's dad? 28:00.847 --> 28:01.468 Mr. Hanson. 28:02.088 --> 28:02.889 Yeah, do you know about him? 28:02.909 --> 28:03.489 Al Hansen. 28:03.829 --> 28:04.850 Yeah, kind of. 28:04.910 --> 28:06.551 Is that Beck's dad, Al Hansen? 28:06.671 --> 28:07.512 I'm not sure it is. 28:08.072 --> 28:14.276 But he's an orchestral arranger and composer, I think, and he's provided these strings for this version of Strange Invitation. 28:14.757 --> 28:15.537 And it's very nice. 28:15.877 --> 28:16.318 Very nice. 28:16.358 --> 28:19.159 That's Beck with Strange Invitation. 28:20.200 --> 28:28.406 And just to correct our factoidal mistakes, Beck's grandfather is Al Hansen, and his father's a Canadian musician called David Campbell. 28:28.786 --> 28:29.606 There you go. 28:29.987 --> 28:30.587 Very interesting. 28:30.607 --> 28:31.248 This is Adam and Jo. 28:32.708 --> 28:34.349 I didn't mean to giggle there. 28:34.369 --> 28:37.910 I just sort of said very interesting in a matter of fact way and didn't really mean it. 28:38.451 --> 28:40.972 I mean, it is sort of interesting, but I'd say very interesting. 28:40.992 --> 28:44.253 It's interesting in so much as now people won't be misinformed. 28:44.273 --> 28:44.753 Well, exactly. 28:44.773 --> 28:45.313 It's nice. 28:45.914 --> 28:47.194 What I meant to say is nice. 28:47.674 --> 28:52.156 Anyway, I move on like that, but I said very interesting and then I thought I can't get away with very interesting. 28:52.356 --> 28:53.257 I mean, that's pushing it. 28:53.777 --> 28:54.577 It's quite interesting. 28:55.077 --> 28:56.598 Now you've just made a mess of the whole thing. 28:56.698 --> 28:58.479 Now I've ruined it by concentrating on it. 28:59.519 --> 29:02.862 It's time for the top of our sweeper, but it's not the top of the hour yet, Ben. 29:02.882 --> 29:06.945 I mean, we've got another one minute and 40 seconds to go. 29:07.005 --> 29:08.646 We've got nothing prepared. 29:08.686 --> 29:10.067 We can't fill for a minute and 40 seconds. 29:10.087 --> 29:11.028 You can't suddenly show us that. 29:11.969 --> 29:14.231 I mean, it's not as if we're professional or anything. 29:14.331 --> 29:16.212 Should we play the top of the hour sweeper early? 29:16.232 --> 29:16.933 Is that what you're saying? 29:16.953 --> 29:17.553 I think we'd better. 29:17.573 --> 29:18.674 OK, here we go. 29:18.694 --> 29:22.657 This is the voice of the big, pretty castle. 29:22.757 --> 29:24.639 It is the top of the hour. 29:24.719 --> 29:26.200 Ooh, that's wonderful. 29:26.420 --> 29:28.902 I got so bored with the last hour and day. 29:32.915 --> 29:35.337 I mean that holds up well, doesn't it? 29:35.677 --> 29:35.817 Yes. 29:35.837 --> 29:40.460 Is it just because this is music from our era and we're determined to think that it does hold up? 29:40.480 --> 29:41.180 I don't think so. 29:41.220 --> 29:50.826 I'm still convinced that the Human League are a historically important band and I remember seeing them on one of those clip shows where they were treated as a sort of weird one-hit-wonder phenomena. 29:51.006 --> 29:51.286 Right. 29:51.586 --> 29:52.987 And I think that's disrespectful. 29:53.027 --> 29:54.568 I think they're- Phenomenon. 29:54.808 --> 29:55.448 Phenomenon. 29:55.668 --> 29:56.009 Is that what? 29:56.029 --> 29:57.009 Did I say it wrong? 29:57.109 --> 29:59.090 They are a single phenomenon. 29:59.110 --> 29:59.471 Oh, I see. 29:59.531 --> 29:59.771 Okay. 30:00.291 --> 30:01.292 Not many phenomena. 30:01.372 --> 30:05.675 Although there were three phenomena within the band. 30:06.656 --> 30:07.297 The ladies. 30:07.317 --> 30:08.217 I wish I'd never said it now. 30:08.237 --> 30:11.620 And so do I. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have corrected you. 30:11.720 --> 30:13.702 I'm so sorry. 30:13.842 --> 30:17.145 I say about the correction, I'm so sorry. 30:17.165 --> 30:22.149 I'm getting a flash forward to the Buxton Christmas in about 2028 when you're 60. 30:22.329 --> 30:24.510 I'm so sorry. 30:24.771 --> 30:26.192 Oh, I'm terribly sorry. 30:26.212 --> 30:27.453 When you're a problem, I'm down. 30:28.213 --> 30:33.377 Do you know we were on the radio first for three years? 30:33.657 --> 30:35.658 Do we have to have Grandpa? 30:35.778 --> 30:37.559 Look, I've got all the podcasts. 30:37.599 --> 30:38.360 Come on. 30:38.400 --> 30:39.180 Let's play them. 30:39.220 --> 30:42.683 This is the one where Joan myself and to write a song. 30:42.943 --> 30:44.724 I wrote one about Stephen Fry. 30:44.744 --> 30:45.665 Can you imagine that? 30:46.485 --> 30:49.328 Oh no, Grandpa Adam's made us smell again. 30:49.388 --> 30:52.151 Sorry, sorry for the smell, for the stinking. 30:52.351 --> 30:53.632 Where's my sherry? 30:54.293 --> 30:55.594 Where's my sherry? 30:55.694 --> 30:57.936 That's probably just a glimpse into a week's time. 30:58.797 --> 30:59.117 Exactly. 30:59.137 --> 31:00.318 Current Buxton Christmas. 31:00.378 --> 31:01.499 That's my dad. 31:01.920 --> 31:09.427 So listen, it's troubling accent time and this week our troubling accent, I'm saying is if we do it every week, we pretty much do almost. 31:10.027 --> 31:19.694 But as you know, we enjoy finding really awful attempts at foreign accents by actors in films and this was suggested by a listener whose email I've promptly lost so I don't know what they're called. 31:19.714 --> 31:20.054 Nice job, Joel. 31:20.074 --> 31:28.360 Let's call them John X. Johnny X. Johnny X. They emailed in suggesting Josh Hartnett's performance in a film called Blow Dry. 31:28.620 --> 31:29.560 Sounds fruity. 31:29.580 --> 31:30.401 I haven't seen Blow Dry. 31:30.461 --> 31:36.567 It's not fruity, it's about competitive hairdressing, and it was a big flopperoonie, rightly so, because it's confused. 31:36.587 --> 31:39.070 That's not the one with Craig, what's his name in it? 31:39.170 --> 31:40.431 No, that's a different one, I think. 31:40.471 --> 31:45.516 This one has got Alan Rickman and Josh Hernett. 31:45.877 --> 31:46.117 Right. 31:46.597 --> 31:53.544 And hairnet has been in the news of course this week because he successfully sued a British tabloid for lying about some sex romps he had in a hotel. 31:54.124 --> 31:55.526 He's made 20 knicker off of it. 31:56.306 --> 31:59.209 And the newspaper's defence was, yeah sorry we made it up. 31:59.669 --> 32:01.912 They just completely made it up. 32:02.612 --> 32:08.557 Um, so he's a little bit richer, but I'm gonna make him a little bit poorer by playing this attempt at a Yorkshire accent. 32:08.597 --> 32:09.958 And of course he's from America. 32:10.358 --> 32:12.060 Middle America somewhere, Josh Hartner. 32:12.120 --> 32:13.521 You know who Josh Hartner is. 32:13.581 --> 32:14.662 He was in Pearl Harbor. 32:14.702 --> 32:16.864 He's so handsome he can only just open his eyes. 32:17.064 --> 32:17.304 Yeah. 32:17.825 --> 32:19.486 Uh, he's blinded by his own reflection. 32:19.666 --> 32:22.709 He's like a kind of mid-80s male model type person. 32:22.729 --> 32:24.390 Yeah, but quite a good actor, I think. 32:24.450 --> 32:24.650 Is he? 32:24.690 --> 32:25.471 What's his best role? 32:26.592 --> 32:27.553 I don't know. 32:27.913 --> 32:29.294 I put you on the spot with Hartnett there. 32:29.554 --> 32:30.936 The faculty he's in, isn't he? 32:30.956 --> 32:32.157 What else is he in? 32:32.397 --> 32:33.298 That's good enough, man. 32:33.658 --> 32:34.679 I'll take the faculty. 32:34.839 --> 32:37.481 I think he's quite good in Halloween H2O, weirdly. 32:37.801 --> 32:38.762 I quite like that film. 32:38.862 --> 32:39.843 It's an underrated film. 32:39.903 --> 32:41.244 Yeah, I don't know about that. 32:41.485 --> 32:42.205 But it's fun. 32:43.887 --> 32:45.808 And he's supposed to be quite good in Rain Man. 32:46.389 --> 32:49.051 He's on stage in London in Rain Man at the moment. 32:49.131 --> 32:50.112 I think it might have come off. 32:50.152 --> 32:52.834 But anyway, in this film, he's pretending to be from Yorkshire. 32:53.735 --> 32:55.716 And this is his Yorkshire accent. 32:55.756 --> 32:56.616 Here's the first clip. 32:57.537 --> 33:00.478 Well at least in that one it's possible to understand what he's saying, right? 33:00.498 --> 33:00.778 Barely. 33:00.818 --> 33:02.259 Have a go at this one. 33:20.066 --> 33:21.247 All new world now mate. 33:21.607 --> 33:23.268 More like sculpture as modern style. 33:23.709 --> 33:27.211 Tell you, if Henry Moore were born now, he wouldn't piss around with marble and statues and stuff. 33:28.232 --> 33:29.072 He'd be an addresser. 33:30.273 --> 33:31.314 Oh my goodness. 33:31.774 --> 33:34.116 That's actually quite comprehensible as well, I think. 33:34.396 --> 33:36.017 Or maybe it's just because I've listened to it a lot. 33:36.037 --> 33:36.638 Henry Moore? 33:36.878 --> 33:38.759 That's the only bit I understood from not one minute. 33:39.400 --> 33:40.120 I mean, how? 33:40.641 --> 33:42.282 And presumably he doesn't get that much better. 33:42.602 --> 33:43.903 Is he the main character in the film? 33:44.603 --> 33:44.944 One of them. 33:45.244 --> 33:46.445 Why would you cast? 33:47.205 --> 33:50.166 A man from the... Because that's how you get your money to make your film. 33:50.346 --> 33:50.606 Is it? 33:50.686 --> 33:52.486 Probably would have been no film without Hernet. 33:52.506 --> 33:54.227 A glimpse into the film industry there. 33:54.247 --> 34:00.388 Yeah, there are enough people in the world who will just rent something or have a look at it on Hernet's name alone. 34:00.508 --> 34:01.329 Stand up, my wife. 34:02.049 --> 34:02.589 Exactly. 34:03.089 --> 34:03.229 Yeah. 34:03.249 --> 34:06.490 That's one of the, you know, that's one of the main reasons why films are rubbish. 34:06.750 --> 34:07.790 That's true, isn't it? 34:07.810 --> 34:09.511 Because of finance-led casting. 34:09.851 --> 34:10.671 That's a shame. 34:10.711 --> 34:14.872 I mean, the director must have been standing there digging pencils into his thighs while he was... 34:15.532 --> 34:16.032 doing that scene. 34:16.052 --> 34:21.775 Well, I guess they hope that the majority of Americans, where most of their box office earnings would come from, can't tell. 34:21.995 --> 34:22.235 Right. 34:22.655 --> 34:24.476 They don't have the ear to tell. 34:24.536 --> 34:24.836 Got you. 34:25.056 --> 34:26.076 But how about this one? 34:26.116 --> 34:27.277 I think this is clip number three. 34:27.317 --> 34:29.177 If this is the right one, I think this is my favorite. 34:29.738 --> 34:29.958 Right. 34:30.398 --> 34:31.318 Better get your shift on, eh? 34:31.698 --> 34:33.099 Gotta get him back to rights before morning. 34:33.339 --> 34:34.059 Give him some hand, eh? 34:34.620 --> 34:35.900 Fix him up and then we'll do Ocaba. 34:37.821 --> 34:39.482 What's going on there? 34:39.502 --> 34:41.542 Fix him up and then we'll do Ocaba. 34:41.923 --> 34:42.403 Do it again. 34:42.703 --> 34:42.963 One more? 34:43.908 --> 34:44.188 Right. 34:44.568 --> 34:45.468 Better get your shift on, eh? 34:45.869 --> 34:47.249 Gotta get him back to riots before morning. 34:47.509 --> 34:48.229 Give us an idea. 34:48.790 --> 34:50.070 Fix him up and then we'll do a hoke a bah. 34:50.090 --> 34:53.771 Fix him up and then we'll do a hoke a bah. 34:54.011 --> 34:56.112 Hey man, after the show, do you wanna go do a hoke a bah? 34:56.152 --> 34:56.692 Yeah, I'd love to. 34:57.072 --> 34:58.472 First of all, can I go do a hoke a bah? 34:58.673 --> 34:59.633 I haven't done a hoke a bah. 35:01.674 --> 35:02.235 That is good. 35:02.395 --> 35:08.801 Hey listen, if anyone out there's got more suggestions for wonky accents that we can play on the show, we can make it into a feature. 35:08.821 --> 35:15.368 We used to do it on the other radio station that we worked for, but we could do a little jingle here, and it could be a thing, right? 35:15.668 --> 35:20.813 It could indeed be a thing, and I apologise to the person who suggested that, that I lost their email. 35:20.893 --> 35:22.795 Johnny X. Johnny X, that I've forgotten. 35:23.075 --> 35:23.756 Here's all her name. 35:23.816 --> 35:25.698 Not a disrespect, Mr. X. Nah, man. 35:25.918 --> 35:29.362 But, uh, we'd appreciate other suggestions, uh, about wonky accents. 35:29.963 --> 35:31.504 And, uh, what are you pointing out there, Ben? 35:31.544 --> 35:33.707 Is it a bit of Jasmine Sullivan right now? 35:34.047 --> 35:34.167 Ooh. 35:34.547 --> 35:37.170 Bust your windows. 35:38.252 --> 35:39.092 Text the nation. 35:39.132 --> 35:40.194 Text, text, text. 35:40.294 --> 35:41.055 Text the nation. 35:41.115 --> 35:42.056 What if I don't want to? 35:42.316 --> 35:42.977 Text the nation. 35:42.997 --> 35:43.517 It doesn't matter. 35:43.577 --> 35:43.818 Text. 35:46.308 --> 35:48.250 That's the short-textination jingle there. 35:48.270 --> 35:49.891 It's good to have variety, though, isn't it? 35:49.951 --> 35:50.452 Yeah, certainly. 35:50.472 --> 35:53.014 You never can tell how long the hell of the jingle's gonna last. 35:54.115 --> 35:56.137 It's good to have variety, like Live at the Apollo. 35:56.698 --> 35:58.840 Right, that's got a new accent over a couple of minutes. 35:58.860 --> 36:00.141 That's not really variety, though, is it? 36:00.281 --> 36:01.602 Is that Live at the British Apollo? 36:01.622 --> 36:03.644 I don't know, the Live at the Apollo's just comedians. 36:03.924 --> 36:06.146 But there's another variety show that they've got now. 36:06.166 --> 36:07.948 There's an American Live at the Apollo, isn't there? 36:08.028 --> 36:10.390 Anyway, this is going off message, sorry about that, listeners. 36:10.490 --> 36:11.011 I liked it. 36:11.411 --> 36:11.711 Yeah. 36:11.831 --> 36:12.992 I had a whole convo there. 36:13.152 --> 36:13.492 Is there? 36:13.512 --> 36:14.412 We'll talk about it later. 36:14.452 --> 36:15.793 Let's never talk about it ever again. 36:15.913 --> 36:16.233 Fair enough. 36:16.333 --> 36:21.196 It's textination time here on the Adam and Jo radio show on BBC 6 Music. 36:21.396 --> 36:22.156 The text number is 64046. 36:22.596 --> 36:28.699 All you've got to do is listen to the following conversation and text in about it. 36:28.979 --> 36:29.420 There you go. 36:29.820 --> 36:30.501 It's a good feature, eh? 36:30.521 --> 36:31.182 What do you reckon? 36:31.423 --> 36:31.823 I like it. 36:32.284 --> 36:36.931 So this week on Texanation, we are talking about phone disasters, right? 36:37.291 --> 36:43.600 And by that, I don't mean times that you have tripped over the cord of your old-fashioned phone and it's fallen on top of your head. 36:43.781 --> 36:44.421 Disaster! 36:44.482 --> 36:45.323 That would be a disaster. 36:45.603 --> 36:56.950 No, I'm talking about times when you have become involved with conversations or left accidental messages, that kind of thing, that have gotten you into all kinds of hot water. 36:57.090 --> 36:57.771 Trubs in pubs. 36:57.971 --> 36:59.032 Trubs in pubs. 37:00.072 --> 37:01.193 So, here's an example. 37:01.373 --> 37:03.635 This was told to me by a friend of mine. 37:03.975 --> 37:08.958 A couple of friends, they were on holiday, right, with one, with another couple. 37:09.258 --> 37:09.578 Brilliant. 37:09.619 --> 37:09.999 Is that it? 37:10.159 --> 37:10.679 So, yeah. 37:10.779 --> 37:11.180 What do you reckon? 37:12.020 --> 37:12.980 It's a good story though, isn't it? 37:13.421 --> 37:14.441 Yeah. 37:14.741 --> 37:16.262 So these two couples, they're on holiday. 37:16.662 --> 37:17.182 This is true. 37:17.802 --> 37:23.285 And at one point, they were going to another part of the island, right? 37:23.305 --> 37:24.805 And they were driving in separate cars. 37:25.505 --> 37:32.488 And so this bloke phones up the other guy, and he sort of says, Tom, where are we meeting later on? 37:33.549 --> 37:34.549 Is that the real name, Tom? 37:34.789 --> 37:35.609 No, it's not the real name. 37:36.270 --> 37:37.770 Accents and names have been changed. 37:39.031 --> 37:41.112 His real accent was like, his real name. 37:41.132 --> 37:41.532 Yo, Ricky. 37:41.892 --> 37:42.833 Yeah, we got me out. 37:42.853 --> 37:43.014 Yeah. 37:43.034 --> 37:43.735 Yeah, Ricky. 37:43.775 --> 37:44.816 What's up, my boy? 37:45.096 --> 37:49.442 No, I'm I'm disguising hello Tom because that sounds completely like that was his name. 37:49.522 --> 37:50.424 And that is how he spoke. 37:50.484 --> 37:51.265 Hello, Tom Bowler. 37:51.465 --> 37:52.086 No, it's not. 37:52.366 --> 37:53.248 I thought it was not. 37:53.288 --> 37:54.710 Otherwise, I'd get in trouble. 37:54.950 --> 37:55.511 Tommy Knockers. 37:56.712 --> 37:57.533 Hello, Stephen King. 37:57.553 --> 37:58.294 This is Tommy Knockers. 37:59.816 --> 38:00.436 Tom Bola. 38:02.297 --> 38:05.838 It's Julian Rifflesworth and we're supposed to be meeting later on. 38:06.119 --> 38:07.739 No, and so he leaves a message, right? 38:08.440 --> 38:15.383 And then after he leaves the message, he starts having a little bitching session with his wife about the wife of the other guy. 38:16.003 --> 38:18.785 Just saying like, what's Marge doing? 38:18.825 --> 38:20.786 I mean, gosh, she's being annoyed today, isn't she? 38:20.806 --> 38:21.946 Yeah, why doesn't she shut up? 38:22.026 --> 38:24.608 Why can't we just make a decision and stick to it, honestly? 38:24.628 --> 38:24.728 Marge? 38:24.788 --> 38:26.349 Marge, just make that one up. 38:26.369 --> 38:27.229 She puts it out of thin air. 38:27.529 --> 38:28.350 Tom and Marge. 38:28.570 --> 38:29.231 I love them all. 38:29.251 --> 38:30.232 Tom and Marge. 38:30.572 --> 38:31.073 This is true. 38:31.093 --> 38:33.175 You're undermining the trueness of the story. 38:33.755 --> 38:36.558 So obviously, listeners, you know where this is going. 38:36.958 --> 38:45.546 He hadn't hung up properly after leaving the message and the rest of his bitching session was recorded on the answering machine of the other guy. 38:46.607 --> 38:58.635 So they arrive at their destination and Tom realised as soon as he'd done it, right, he sort of looked at his phone a couple of minutes later, realised that it was still recording, it hadn't hung up and he's like, are you joking? 38:59.196 --> 39:05.720 So he hangs up mortified, dreading the moment that he arrives at the destination where they're all going to be reunited. 39:06.321 --> 39:12.945 So he arrives there and gingerly does a little bit of questioning, he realises that the guy hasn't listened to his message yet. 39:13.505 --> 39:15.827 So he's seriously considering just saying to the guy, 39:17.207 --> 39:19.689 Could you just not listen to the message that I just left? 39:19.709 --> 39:21.489 He's considering saying that or saying it. 39:21.689 --> 39:27.712 Well, he's considering saying it when the guy picks up his phone and starts collecting his messages, starts listening to his messages. 39:27.772 --> 39:33.675 So the bloke is watching him listen to the message preceded by the bitching session about his wife. 39:34.155 --> 39:39.617 Luckily, they were sufficiently good friends in this case for it not to be a cataclysmic falling out. 39:40.058 --> 39:43.099 And the other guy had to admit that his wife actually was being quite annoying. 39:43.719 --> 39:45.700 But it was pretty awkward and embarrassing. 39:45.800 --> 39:50.683 One of those things that happens on holiday, they were sufficiently good friends that they got over it, and it wasn't the end of the holiday. 39:51.223 --> 39:55.305 But it made me think like, I mean, that was lucky in that case. 39:55.345 --> 40:01.288 But I'm interested in people who've had more disastrous, similar incidents with phones, answering machines, that kind of thing. 40:01.328 --> 40:02.969 Who've got themselves into terrible trouble. 40:03.269 --> 40:05.330 I nearly got myself into terrible trouble once. 40:06.011 --> 40:10.433 Really, this was a long time ago, and it involves a little bit of low-quality name-dropping. 40:10.973 --> 40:12.334 I may have told you this story before. 40:13.034 --> 40:18.517 But do you remember when we met Gail Porter, I think, way back at the South Park party? 40:19.498 --> 40:20.618 That was in the South Park movie. 40:20.638 --> 40:22.319 This was years ago, like 10 years ago. 40:22.619 --> 40:30.704 And it was around the time when Gail had just had her bare bottom projected on the side of Big Ben, if you remember that, for FHM magazine, I think. 40:31.252 --> 40:38.178 Anyway, she was a charming young woman and we met her at this party and we got on very well, actually. 40:38.238 --> 40:39.159 She's really nice, Gail. 40:39.559 --> 40:40.540 Haven't seen her for ages. 40:41.040 --> 40:46.745 Anyway, basically, we were having quite a flirty time, I don't mind telling you, right? 40:47.585 --> 40:53.369 And I went home and I told my wife all about it, because I was actually my, she was my then girlfriend, now my wife. 40:53.769 --> 40:55.030 Am I making this confusing enough? 40:55.831 --> 40:59.453 And so I said, I met Gail Porter at this party, she's really nice. 40:59.473 --> 41:05.797 And my wife got quite jealous, my girlfriend as she was then, got quite jealous, which I enjoyed, yeah? 41:06.417 --> 41:11.801 And then a few weeks later, I got a phone call and I hear, 41:12.361 --> 41:14.122 Hi Adam, it's Gail here, how are you doing? 41:14.142 --> 41:16.083 I'm like, oh hi Gail, how are you? 41:16.123 --> 41:17.684 And I was really thrilled, right? 41:17.724 --> 41:20.325 So to be called by Gail, you know, we'd exchanged numbers. 41:21.186 --> 41:24.487 And I was like, yeah, yeah, oh great to see you, how have you been? 41:24.607 --> 41:26.708 And I was really overexcited clearly on the phone. 41:27.709 --> 41:30.310 It was my girlfriend doing a Gail Porter impression. 41:30.410 --> 41:30.891 No. 41:31.451 --> 41:32.832 And she was only joking. 41:33.132 --> 41:33.492 No. 41:33.512 --> 41:36.333 But I fell for it because it was quite a good impression. 41:36.533 --> 41:36.974 Wow. 41:37.334 --> 41:40.916 She was like teasing me that I would be phoned by Gail at home. 41:42.036 --> 41:44.197 But I completely fell for it. 41:44.397 --> 41:53.559 And I was so mortified when I realised that I'd been so badly busted, and there was no way that I could excuse how enthusiastic and excited I was, that I just hung up. 41:55.900 --> 41:57.020 Did you live with her at the time? 41:57.280 --> 41:57.460 No. 41:57.580 --> 41:59.221 No, we weren't living together at that point. 41:59.641 --> 42:01.081 Things took a little bit of a... That's a good tactic. 42:01.301 --> 42:01.622 Hang up. 42:01.702 --> 42:02.922 I just immediately hung up. 42:03.382 --> 42:05.985 I couldn't think of anything to say. 42:06.806 --> 42:13.253 Can this text donation be broadened to all communication problems, you know, like if you send a really ill-advised email? 42:13.333 --> 42:14.274 Well, we could do that, yeah. 42:14.434 --> 42:19.780 I mean, we could save that one for another day and really make that a different segment. 42:20.300 --> 42:21.981 Now, let's broaden it. 42:22.021 --> 42:24.703 People's stories might be a little long for a text. 42:24.943 --> 42:25.604 Sure, okay. 42:25.744 --> 42:27.625 So feel free to email as well. 42:27.985 --> 42:30.787 Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 42:30.827 --> 42:41.694 If you've got any stories of dropping yourself in it on the phone or having phone embarrassments or disasters and the text number, if you feel you can be pithy enough, is 64046. 42:42.574 --> 42:43.835 Right now, here's a bit of music. 42:44.235 --> 42:45.576 The welcome return of Travis. 42:45.656 --> 42:46.577 This is Song to Self. 42:50.609 --> 42:51.609 This isn't Travis at all. 42:51.629 --> 42:52.710 We're going to play that a bit later. 42:52.730 --> 42:53.790 This is Talking Heads. 42:54.310 --> 42:55.470 And this is my free play. 42:55.870 --> 42:59.091 A lovely song from More Songs About Buildings and Food. 42:59.371 --> 43:00.271 This is The Good Thing. 43:00.631 --> 43:02.892 Talking Heads with The Good Thing. 43:02.932 --> 43:04.212 That is a wicked song. 43:04.252 --> 43:05.433 That was my little free play there. 43:05.453 --> 43:06.693 I hope you enjoyed that, listeners. 43:06.833 --> 43:10.354 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC 6 Music on a Saturday morning. 43:10.454 --> 43:15.835 Yeah, we were talking last week, listeners, I don't know if any of you remember, about egg corns. 43:16.055 --> 43:16.295 Oh yeah. 43:16.635 --> 43:18.876 Now describe what an egg corn is, Adam. 43:19.156 --> 43:28.061 Well, a good example of an egg corn... Well, an egg corn is so-called because the word acorn is sometimes misheard. 43:28.361 --> 43:29.162 You know what? 43:29.202 --> 43:29.642 I'm going to do it. 43:29.662 --> 43:30.403 Your answer's too long. 43:30.423 --> 43:31.063 Egg corn. 43:31.283 --> 43:32.124 It's a misheard phrase. 43:32.244 --> 43:32.644 There you go. 43:32.804 --> 43:34.665 Yeah, something you've misheard and missay. 43:35.025 --> 43:38.207 So some people have emailed in with some quite good ones. 43:38.347 --> 43:41.829 Earlier I was saying batter down the hatches was one of mine. 43:42.049 --> 43:43.610 But it's batten down the hatches. 43:43.630 --> 43:44.331 Baton, yes. 43:44.491 --> 43:47.993 So you put a baton through some hoops in order to secure your hatch. 43:48.473 --> 43:54.036 Yeah, you find like a majorette, you nick her baton, and you use it to secure the hatches. 43:54.337 --> 43:55.177 Stick it in your hoops. 43:55.197 --> 43:55.517 Yeah. 43:56.598 --> 43:57.278 Sounds filthy. 43:57.358 --> 43:58.199 There you go. 43:58.359 --> 44:00.120 So here's a couple of emails we've had. 44:01.381 --> 44:03.462 This is from Phil Watson. 44:04.623 --> 44:08.125 He says, a few years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. 44:08.565 --> 44:09.746 But I'm totally okay now. 44:09.986 --> 44:11.568 One of the many tests was a scan. 44:11.868 --> 44:15.030 Before the scan, I had to drink a barium meal. 44:15.991 --> 44:21.896 That evening, I overheard my wife on the phone telling people how I was getting on, and that I'd had to have a Bavarian meal. 44:24.478 --> 44:27.300 I let her continue the mistake for ages before correcting her. 44:27.360 --> 44:31.263 It really cheered me up, and it's still the only thing I'm allowed to ridicule my wife with in public. 44:31.343 --> 44:35.546 The barium meal is so they can trace the progress around your bloodstream, isn't it? 44:35.566 --> 44:36.007 Exactly. 44:37.087 --> 44:42.850 Here's another one from Nick Sydney, who says, I wanted to share my new favorite, Eggcorn with you. 44:43.230 --> 44:51.493 Recently on a phone into Gary Crowley, a listener told Gary that a guitar solo on a Small Faces song was, oh, that's an icon classic. 44:51.733 --> 44:52.834 That's icon classic. 44:52.854 --> 44:54.535 That's a good one. 44:54.955 --> 44:56.335 It's absolutely icon classic. 44:56.596 --> 44:57.216 That is good. 44:57.736 --> 44:59.117 And then here's another one. 45:00.117 --> 45:17.195 from Emma Goodrum and blah blah blah I also have an egg corn for you until my honeymoon three months ago I thought that quote the whole kit and caboodle was actually the whole kitten caboodle I used to think that as well yeah it would be nicer if it was a kitten caboodle 45:17.455 --> 45:20.658 I mean, you know, because you can imagine how comfy a kitten caboodle would be. 45:21.178 --> 45:26.062 Yeah, I used to imagine a kitten, says Emma, tangled in a ball of wool. 45:26.123 --> 45:26.763 That's right. 45:26.923 --> 45:29.525 For some reason, caboodle became wool in my head. 45:31.227 --> 45:32.808 I exactly know what you're talking about. 45:33.008 --> 45:34.370 Yeah, I think that's absolutely right. 45:34.650 --> 45:36.551 A kitten caboodle would be a lovely thing. 45:36.591 --> 45:38.193 I'd just like to see it on a card. 45:38.513 --> 45:41.254 We'd very much like to hear any other acorns you've got. 45:42.175 --> 45:44.796 Do send them in to us on the email please. 45:45.136 --> 45:47.177 And what's the text number as well for people? 45:47.197 --> 45:49.318 64046, is it? 45:49.358 --> 45:51.398 That's from memory after a year and a half. 45:51.438 --> 45:52.479 That's not bad, is it? 45:52.499 --> 45:53.079 That's not bad. 45:53.119 --> 45:53.899 Four and five numbers. 45:53.979 --> 45:57.921 I still can't remember either the text number or the email. 45:57.961 --> 46:01.202 The email's easy because the dot comes where you think the at would be. 46:01.543 --> 46:03.403 So when you want to say at, just say dot. 46:03.724 --> 46:03.964 Adam. 46:06.085 --> 46:08.026 No, that's not an at, that's an and. 46:08.086 --> 46:09.146 Come on, try it. 46:09.306 --> 46:12.128 No, you see how you said at? 46:12.828 --> 46:16.270 When you feel yourself wanting to say at, go dot. 46:16.290 --> 46:20.412 Right, and now you feel a little sense of excitement that you've said the dot. 46:20.813 --> 46:22.514 That's your cue to say the at next. 46:22.694 --> 46:22.874 No. 46:22.894 --> 46:25.515 I'm forgotten now, what is it? 46:33.490 --> 46:35.831 Adamandjo.6music, it's the station. 46:36.171 --> 46:36.391 Right. 46:36.431 --> 46:37.632 So nearly swore then. 46:38.712 --> 46:40.293 Because I'm so passionate. 46:40.873 --> 46:42.654 I so nearly said a bad word. 46:43.494 --> 46:44.355 What did it start with? 46:44.475 --> 46:46.315 It started with an F. The F one. 46:46.395 --> 46:47.636 It was the fire truck one. 46:47.656 --> 46:48.016 The F bomb. 46:48.036 --> 46:49.337 Wow, that would have been amazing. 46:49.357 --> 46:50.077 Very nearly. 46:50.117 --> 46:51.498 That would have been curtains for us. 46:52.038 --> 46:52.638 Try it again. 46:53.118 --> 46:58.380 Adamandjo.6music at bbc.co.uk. 46:58.400 --> 46:58.541 Yes! 46:58.801 --> 46:59.161 Yes! 46:59.181 --> 47:00.301 It's 10.30, time for the news. 47:02.122 --> 47:04.384 Hold steady there with stay positive. 47:04.644 --> 47:05.065 Who are they? 47:05.085 --> 47:06.606 Do you know anything about them? 47:06.666 --> 47:07.006 Bellowing. 47:07.026 --> 47:07.347 Yeah, man. 47:07.367 --> 47:08.608 They were big news last year. 47:08.668 --> 47:08.948 Really? 47:09.048 --> 47:09.348 Yeah. 47:09.368 --> 47:09.849 Are they good? 47:10.149 --> 47:10.429 They are good. 47:10.449 --> 47:11.110 They want integrity. 47:11.550 --> 47:12.511 I think they do have integrity. 47:12.711 --> 47:13.892 They're sort of old blokes, you know? 47:13.912 --> 47:15.033 They're kind of old age, yeah. 47:15.193 --> 47:21.138 And they, for years, had sort of straight jobs and then they decided that they were just going to be in a band. 47:21.198 --> 47:24.321 They were big musos, loved Bruce Springsteen, all that kind of thing. 47:24.381 --> 47:28.765 So they just got a kind of band together and they rock seriously hard. 47:29.105 --> 47:29.325 Good. 47:29.365 --> 47:30.246 Well, that's good info. 47:30.266 --> 47:32.908 Apparently, that single's been rescheduled for a December release. 47:33.148 --> 47:33.888 That's this month. 47:34.509 --> 47:34.729 Yeah. 47:35.129 --> 47:40.973 Due to the lead guitarist, Ted Kubler, being hospitalised with pancreatitis. 47:41.133 --> 47:41.613 Oh, dear. 47:41.653 --> 47:42.594 That doesn't sound good. 47:42.694 --> 47:45.456 I mean, they're quite hard-living, hard-drinking boys. 47:45.476 --> 47:45.896 Really? 47:45.916 --> 47:46.196 Yeah. 47:46.277 --> 47:47.938 So they should take care of themselves, maybe. 47:48.318 --> 47:52.621 They're a little bit old, but a lot of their songs are about excessive behaviour in one way or another. 47:52.661 --> 47:54.122 They sound like they're having a good time. 47:54.322 --> 47:56.804 Their gigs are apparently legendarily incendiary. 47:59.625 --> 48:00.266 So, there you go. 48:00.626 --> 48:04.168 Now, I've been enjoying a lot of audiobooks recently. 48:04.268 --> 48:05.749 Yeah, well, we know you can't read. 48:05.769 --> 48:06.369 Yeah, that's true. 48:06.409 --> 48:07.210 So that follows. 48:07.630 --> 48:08.110 That is true. 48:08.130 --> 48:10.391 You know, I can read to myself, I just like to say. 48:10.511 --> 48:11.072 Can you? 48:11.232 --> 48:11.972 I don't mean that. 48:12.132 --> 48:14.854 Even though, when you read to yourself... Can I make it clear? 48:14.914 --> 48:17.315 Sometimes I say things and they're not, you know, completely. 48:17.335 --> 48:19.616 You shouldn't take them at... Yeah, I know what you mean. 48:20.057 --> 48:21.558 You mean I can't read properly. 48:21.878 --> 48:22.198 Can you? 48:22.678 --> 48:23.419 Not really. 48:23.879 --> 48:25.801 Now, you know, do you read aloud in your head? 48:25.861 --> 48:28.703 Like, when you're reading a book, can you hear the words in your head? 48:28.723 --> 48:31.445 Oh, yeah, kind of. 48:31.505 --> 48:31.905 I guess so. 48:31.925 --> 48:33.687 That's the sign of a bad reader. 48:33.867 --> 48:34.127 Is this? 48:34.247 --> 48:35.828 I've never really thought about it. 48:35.848 --> 48:36.669 You're not supposed to. 48:36.769 --> 48:44.815 I did a speed reading course years ago at school, and it was teaching you how to, like, scan the words of a page. 48:44.835 --> 48:45.756 It didn't teach me nothing. 48:46.036 --> 48:55.723 But one thing that did stick with me was the guy saying, if you say the words aloud in your head while you're reading, then you are reading much too slow. 48:55.903 --> 48:56.243 I don't. 48:56.643 --> 48:57.084 You don't. 48:57.364 --> 48:57.564 No. 48:57.984 --> 49:00.826 And one of the things about speed reading is that you don't say them aloud. 49:00.846 --> 49:05.049 You just scan them with your eyes and you kind of absorb key words here and there and you miss out. 49:05.409 --> 49:06.710 Who would want to speed read? 49:06.750 --> 49:07.531 Well, exactly. 49:07.551 --> 49:08.131 Stupid thing to say. 49:08.211 --> 49:14.895 I like to make books come alive in my head, giving the different accents to the different voices, that kind of thing. 49:15.235 --> 49:17.537 But this is why you listen to audiobooks. 49:17.757 --> 49:20.218 Well... They're brilliant for listening to in the carbles, aren't they? 49:20.499 --> 49:21.299 They're great, yeah. 49:21.319 --> 49:24.041 I mean, the great thing about audiobooks... When I say carble, I mean car. 49:24.241 --> 49:25.162 Not the actual place. 49:26.262 --> 49:27.743 No, but it's a fun juxtaposition. 49:27.763 --> 49:28.844 That wouldn't be so fun, would it? 49:29.284 --> 49:44.773 but if you know the great thing about an audiobook is that imaginative element is still very much intact you know and they're lovely when they're read by the author yeah i noticed i was recommending to you the steve martin autobiography born standing up it's a brilliant little book 49:45.493 --> 49:47.514 And I notice you've got it there on audiobook. 49:47.675 --> 49:51.697 Yeah, you recommended that to me, and that's one of the best audiobooks that I have purchased. 49:52.378 --> 49:53.078 It's really great. 49:53.118 --> 49:58.562 I mean, he's obviously a talented actor, Steve Martin, so he does his book, which is very well written as well. 49:58.822 --> 49:59.803 He's a good comedian as well. 49:59.823 --> 50:00.463 Total justice. 50:00.523 --> 50:01.804 And it's amazingly good. 50:01.824 --> 50:04.966 It's such a brilliant dissection of the comedian's art. 50:05.506 --> 50:10.610 And it's very touching and it's interesting as well, whether you're a Steve Martin fan or not. 50:11.010 --> 50:13.932 I've got Alex James's book, Bit of a Blur, which is enjoyable. 50:14.032 --> 50:15.133 He's not such a good reader. 50:15.493 --> 50:15.853 Isn't he? 50:15.873 --> 50:16.794 Does he lose interest? 50:16.934 --> 50:22.176 Well, he's got that sort of slightly drunk way of talking and sometimes he doesn't do his own stuff justice. 50:22.196 --> 50:26.357 It's a feat of concentration and breathing's quite difficult when you read for a long period. 50:26.377 --> 50:29.799 You can get yourself slightly dizzy and sort of mildly hyperventilate. 50:29.839 --> 50:33.200 Yeah, and you can hear as well where the sessions have stopped and started. 50:33.300 --> 50:33.600 Really? 50:33.720 --> 50:35.921 And the sound of the mic is slightly different. 50:36.161 --> 50:36.341 Really? 50:36.402 --> 50:37.542 And he doesn't go very long. 50:38.062 --> 50:40.783 without having to have a new mic position there. 50:40.843 --> 50:41.504 But it's good, man. 50:41.524 --> 50:42.384 I recommend that one. 50:42.724 --> 50:46.806 And he plunges into the whole business of doing accents for different people. 50:46.846 --> 50:52.628 So when he's reporting dialogue from other characters in his life in the book, he'll just do an accent for them. 50:52.828 --> 50:54.489 Well, this is an interesting area, isn't it? 50:54.549 --> 50:57.650 Because it's taken as read if you're reading a story to a child. 50:58.430 --> 51:00.653 You'll bring it to life by doing all the voices. 51:01.073 --> 51:01.954 And the accents. 51:02.134 --> 51:03.095 Yeah, that's half the fun. 51:03.195 --> 51:03.896 Yeah, exactly. 51:04.297 --> 51:08.061 Sometimes it gets confusing remembering which accents you've assigned to which character. 51:08.181 --> 51:10.123 It's one of the skills of the reader. 51:10.564 --> 51:17.311 But as you get older and the subjects of the books you read become more mature, do you still do the voices? 51:18.012 --> 51:18.993 Yeah, surely. 51:19.033 --> 51:19.574 Do you think so? 51:19.614 --> 51:21.316 Is that the case in most of the audiobooks? 51:21.376 --> 51:22.958 Are people still doing funny voices? 51:23.098 --> 51:31.969 Michael Palin, in his diaries, which I would also recommend, they're fascinating the Python years, in the audiobook there, he doesn't he doesn't do any accents as far as I'm aware. 51:32.049 --> 51:32.550 It's a shame. 51:32.910 --> 51:36.672 It's a shame, but you don't miss it, because, I mean, he's such a good reader anyway. 51:36.812 --> 51:39.634 He makes the whole thing come to life without needing to do the accents. 51:40.195 --> 51:48.800 And you don't mind, because it's more sort of journalistically right or correct in some way. 51:48.820 --> 51:49.320 Do you know what I mean? 51:49.380 --> 51:50.241 Not to do the accent. 51:50.521 --> 51:51.101 for some reason. 51:51.121 --> 51:53.923 Well, this is like what we were saying about Wallander, isn't it? 51:54.043 --> 51:54.324 Yeah. 51:55.004 --> 52:04.750 But with Alex James, for example, the tone is quite silly and over-the-top and frivolous anyway, so a daft, Mancounian accent that he will do for someone doesn't seem that out of place. 52:05.071 --> 52:07.792 Can I just say Wallander the Swedish detective? 52:08.012 --> 52:08.973 Swedish, not Swiss. 52:09.053 --> 52:09.573 Swedish. 52:09.794 --> 52:14.837 It's easy to get Switzerland and Sweden mixed up because of the SW there. 52:15.678 --> 52:25.269 But I was also listening to John Sessions reading Armageddon by Max Hastings, which is all about the battle for Germany 1944 to 1945. 52:25.789 --> 52:31.035 And that's obviously a more serious book in a lot of ways, historical novel and historical, not a novel, but a 52:31.856 --> 52:37.358 a historical account of that period in Germany's history and, you know, serious stuff. 52:37.798 --> 52:46.661 But John Sessions throws himself wholeheartedly from quite an early stage into doing impressions of many of the key players, right? 52:47.081 --> 52:50.022 And he's obviously a very gifted impressionist, John Sessions. 52:50.522 --> 52:51.843 So, it's not a stretch for him. 52:52.103 --> 52:55.906 But it's quite a shock when you first start hearing him do it, because you don't expect it. 52:56.346 --> 52:57.247 Here's an example. 52:57.527 --> 53:04.792 This is an American accent that he does for, I think it's one of the people that's not famous. 53:04.872 --> 53:07.814 It's a trooper, what's he called? 53:08.475 --> 53:09.636 Trooper John Thorpe. 53:09.936 --> 53:14.939 This is just, you know, a bit of reported speech, and here's Sessions doing the accent. 53:15.280 --> 53:17.221 Trooper John Thorpe wrote in his diary. 53:17.521 --> 53:20.363 And Jerry gives himself up to us in a cabbage field. 53:20.863 --> 53:22.545 The water is running out of his clothes. 53:23.025 --> 53:25.787 He's covered in mud and shaking with cold and fright. 53:26.638 --> 53:27.419 So yeah, he's gone. 53:27.439 --> 53:28.500 Is he South African there? 53:28.660 --> 53:30.201 No, no, he's from New York. 53:30.642 --> 53:31.362 He is he now? 53:31.443 --> 53:32.504 I think he is, yeah. 53:33.084 --> 53:35.767 So Sessions, that's like one of the sort of anonymous accents. 53:36.207 --> 53:42.273 Trooper John Thorpe is not a famous person per se, so he's just going for a generic American accent there. 53:42.593 --> 53:48.539 But then other characters are more well known, and he does not shy away from ascribing the correct accent. 53:48.559 --> 53:49.860 For example, his Churchill. 53:50.200 --> 53:51.281 Churchill dissented. 53:51.561 --> 54:01.629 He wrote to the Joint Intelligence Committee, it is at least as likely that Hitler will be fighting on the 1st of January as it is that he will collapse before then. 54:03.150 --> 54:05.772 It turns him into a bit of a caricature, doesn't it? 54:05.792 --> 54:06.512 A little bit, yeah. 54:06.572 --> 54:08.434 Is this a serious book, the tone of this? 54:08.454 --> 54:09.234 It is very serious. 54:09.255 --> 54:11.816 Yeah, I mean, it was a bad war, wasn't it? 54:12.157 --> 54:12.537 It was. 54:12.557 --> 54:13.878 Apparently it was one of the worst. 54:13.898 --> 54:14.799 Died and everything. 54:15.719 --> 54:17.561 But yeah, that's interesting. 54:18.181 --> 54:22.845 And and you know, I mean that's a good church an impression you can't take away from it It's not very difficult. 54:22.945 --> 54:30.871 It's not hard to do a fragile Impression and it's not something that would necessarily do in the middle of a serious book. 54:31.071 --> 54:31.752 No, who's that? 54:32.733 --> 54:33.013 That was 54:33.793 --> 54:35.956 Johnny Churchill, Churchill's friend. 54:36.757 --> 54:44.705 So here's another one right now, and this is for Bill Deeds, in fact, the journalist who was also fighting in the Second World War. 54:44.725 --> 54:46.567 This is still Sessions doing an impression of Deeds. 54:46.607 --> 54:48.389 This is Sessions doing Deeds, yeah. 54:48.749 --> 54:51.893 In those days, we use only about the Russians. 54:52.623 --> 54:55.565 Said Major William Deeds of 12th King's Royal Rifle Corps. 54:56.025 --> 54:59.928 I mean, Bill- You were much more interested in dishing into Vera Lynn on the radio. 55:00.609 --> 55:04.831 Bill Deeds was known for- for his kind of, uh, slurry speech, apparently. 55:04.871 --> 55:07.053 So he's- those are- these are informed impressions. 55:07.133 --> 55:07.333 Yes. 55:07.393 --> 55:11.276 I mean, Sessions knows how these people speak, and he's doing a kind of informed- 55:11.696 --> 55:12.677 Yes, he does, Deesh. 55:12.837 --> 55:22.063 But again, if it's like a person who isn't so well known, whose accent is not as well known as say Churchill or Bill Deeds or whatever, he still has a go at the accent. 55:22.763 --> 55:31.509 It is not the distinction that if you want your programme to be taken seriously, like Wallander, you dispense with all accents, even though it's a massive suspension of disbelief. 55:31.589 --> 55:39.914 If you want your programme or your fiction to be taken seriously, not seriously, like say the comedy series Alo Alo, everybody speaks like this! 55:40.214 --> 55:40.914 That's right. 55:40.994 --> 55:44.076 Yeah, so that's what Sessions has ignored. 55:44.956 --> 55:46.057 That's the mistake he's made, isn't it? 55:46.077 --> 55:48.338 He's somewhere in between, though, because his accents are good. 55:48.358 --> 55:52.000 But I'm saying accents are per se stupid. 55:53.020 --> 55:55.942 You can't do an accent and not be slightly stupid. 55:55.962 --> 56:01.625 Well, he sort of agrees with you, because when it comes to the Germans, he doesn't do an accent. 56:02.285 --> 56:03.325 So what's all that? 56:03.625 --> 56:08.347 So like he does accents for the British and the Americans and... Why does he not do German accents? 56:08.367 --> 56:09.427 Why not the Germans? 56:09.447 --> 56:17.150 So here he is talking about Sergeant Helmut Gunter, not a well-known person, but just a member of the German army there. 56:17.710 --> 56:22.211 Sergeant Helmut Gunter said, we were amazed that it took the Allies so long to engage us. 56:22.812 --> 56:23.972 We were utterly exhausted. 56:24.580 --> 56:27.902 Yeah, we were given the chance to catch our breath and regroup at Metz. 56:28.382 --> 56:29.943 Not even bothering with that one, are there any? 56:30.023 --> 56:30.723 And here's another one. 56:30.783 --> 56:33.385 Frau Koikl, he talks about, just a German lady. 56:33.405 --> 56:34.205 Frau Koikl, yeah. 56:34.225 --> 56:39.848 Frau Koikl wrote to her husband, it is dreadful to realize that Tommy is coming near her every hour. 56:40.148 --> 56:41.529 Here people are full of fears. 56:42.771 --> 56:44.452 She's softer because she's a lady. 56:44.792 --> 56:45.353 Exactly. 56:45.493 --> 56:45.773 Yes. 56:45.833 --> 56:46.573 And she is worried. 56:46.774 --> 56:47.554 She's full of fears. 56:47.854 --> 56:50.556 So he doesn't... He's not even going there with the accent. 56:50.676 --> 56:51.737 That's a shame, don't you think? 56:51.797 --> 56:53.438 I was excited about the German accents. 56:53.738 --> 56:57.300 It is a bit of a shame, but it does back up my point, don't you think? 56:57.420 --> 56:57.720 I don't know. 56:57.760 --> 56:58.741 I think there's a way of doing it. 56:59.101 --> 57:01.823 I had a stab and I think I did a very tasteful job of it. 57:02.463 --> 57:03.244 Really? 57:03.344 --> 57:04.605 Here's Helmut Gunter, my way. 57:05.005 --> 57:06.586 Sergeant Helmut Gunter said... 57:06.826 --> 57:09.868 We were amazed that it took the Allies so long to engage us. 57:10.368 --> 57:15.211 We were utterly exhausted, yet we were given the chance to regroup and catch our breath. 57:15.531 --> 57:16.052 At Met! 57:18.633 --> 57:20.294 Why is he so excited about Met? 57:20.314 --> 57:21.415 Because he's a bit of a baddie. 57:21.735 --> 57:21.955 Is he? 57:24.250 --> 57:26.372 You know more than session stars about this guy. 57:26.432 --> 57:26.752 I do. 57:27.072 --> 57:30.235 I did a bit of research, he was a bit of a baddie and he was very excited about METS! 57:31.756 --> 57:33.037 Zanzaveh hit Tom! 57:33.277 --> 57:34.898 And this is how I would do Frau Koichel. 57:35.198 --> 57:37.320 Frau Koichel wrote to her husband. 57:37.840 --> 57:40.842 It is dreadful to realise that Tommy is coming here every hour. 57:41.443 --> 57:42.664 People are full of fears. 57:44.059 --> 57:45.419 That's quite moving though, isn't it? 57:45.519 --> 57:47.680 Well, she sounds less feminine than Sessions. 57:48.000 --> 57:50.881 She sounds like maybe a... She was a very manly woman. 57:50.941 --> 57:51.421 What? 57:51.801 --> 57:53.162 She was Anne Hairy Woman. 57:53.202 --> 57:56.143 She was Anne Freuchel was famous for being Anne Hairy. 57:56.163 --> 58:03.185 You know, I think it's a shame though, because... Ah, this might be disrespectful, but it would make the war more exciting if... 58:05.386 --> 58:11.210 If the two sides that are fighting each other both spoke like this, it would make it less exciting, don't you think? 58:11.610 --> 58:15.332 It's better if one side speaks like this and the other side speaks like this! 58:15.492 --> 58:16.313 Like baddies, you mean? 58:16.473 --> 58:17.313 Yes, exactly. 58:17.774 --> 58:19.755 But they think that we're the baddies at the time, right? 58:19.815 --> 58:20.115 Of course, yeah. 58:20.135 --> 58:24.358 You've got to have a distinction between the accents in order to make the fight more exciting. 58:24.758 --> 58:25.599 It's like wrestling. 58:25.879 --> 58:27.560 It's nothing like wrestling. 58:27.580 --> 58:29.001 That's a terrible thing to say. 58:29.381 --> 58:30.241 I know, I agree with you. 58:30.261 --> 58:34.162 I think there should be more of a... He could have done a dignified German accent. 58:34.182 --> 58:35.042 What would have been wrong with that? 58:35.062 --> 58:36.523 He doesn't have to go completely cartouche. 58:36.543 --> 58:38.343 What about when they're writing the book? 58:38.363 --> 58:40.663 What about writing the words phonetically? 58:40.743 --> 58:45.845 So instead of German, if a German person said the word German, it would be spelt chairman. 58:46.065 --> 58:46.305 Yeah. 58:46.585 --> 58:48.125 C-H-A-I-R-M-A-N. 58:48.145 --> 58:49.805 And instead of saying the, they say zuh. 58:49.885 --> 58:50.146 Yes. 58:50.486 --> 58:51.646 I am the chairman. 58:52.927 --> 58:54.308 I am from Germany! 58:57.752 --> 58:58.473 Would that be good? 58:58.613 --> 58:59.334 That would be good. 58:59.574 --> 58:59.794 Good. 59:00.035 --> 59:01.697 Anyway, that's good man though. 59:01.717 --> 59:04.780 I do recommend whether you enjoy accents or not. 59:05.701 --> 59:06.943 Max Hastings is Armageddon. 59:07.443 --> 59:08.103 It's a smash. 59:08.344 --> 59:11.786 So that's audiobook news here on the Adam and Jo radio program. 59:11.846 --> 59:13.327 Time now for some more music. 59:13.927 --> 59:16.449 And here is Travis, which we promised you earlier on. 59:16.469 --> 59:17.490 This is Song to Self. 59:17.790 --> 59:19.391 The Travels with Song to Self. 59:19.531 --> 59:20.592 Is that from their new album? 59:21.032 --> 59:21.572 That's right. 59:22.113 --> 59:26.856 I think their album is called Ode to Jay Smith or something like that. 59:27.937 --> 59:29.017 Very nice to hear them again. 59:29.037 --> 59:31.139 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music. 59:31.599 --> 59:32.520 Ode to Jenny Smith. 59:32.960 --> 59:35.302 Ode to Jenny Smith, is it? 59:35.322 --> 59:36.663 I think it's just Jay Smith. 59:37.489 --> 59:38.490 I'm pretty sure, Ben. 59:38.950 --> 59:40.230 I don't want to pull rank on you there. 59:40.751 --> 59:44.132 But I've seen the poster in the tubes, and I think it's just Jay. 59:44.232 --> 59:44.633 Alright? 59:44.653 --> 59:45.233 Sorry. 59:45.273 --> 59:47.354 Welcome to Be Corrected, if I'm wrong. 59:47.874 --> 59:53.177 So here's a free play chosen by me, and this is somebody called MC Duke. 59:53.457 --> 59:55.018 Do you remember MC Duke, Adam? 59:55.038 --> 59:56.759 Just say no. 59:56.899 --> 59:57.179 No. 59:57.419 --> 59:58.099 Just say no. 59:58.420 --> 59:59.040 No, no thanks. 59:59.700 --> 01:00:18.899 uh he was a rapper is a rapper uh he was around in 1987 i've never heard of emcee juke i don't think many people have he was quite big in mid 80s hip-hop when hip-hop was young westward was a big fan he used to love emcee juke believe maxing the black plastic just dressing the vital vinyl 01:00:20.720 --> 01:00:26.822 But MC Duke was the UK high-tech breaking and bobby popping, bobby, bobby popping? 01:00:27.022 --> 01:00:28.122 Hello, my name's Bobby Popping. 01:00:29.563 --> 01:00:36.224 The UK high-tech breaking and body popping champion, and he was kind of movie obsessed, is the good thing about him. 01:00:37.045 --> 01:00:38.945 He was keen on using samples from films. 01:00:39.265 --> 01:00:42.126 He's not a brilliant rapper by today's standards. 01:00:42.426 --> 01:00:45.127 When you hear him rap, you might think it's crap. 01:00:45.467 --> 01:00:46.147 Yeah. 01:00:46.167 --> 01:00:47.048 But you'd be forgiven. 01:00:47.268 --> 01:00:55.651 Remember, this was 1987, over 20 years ago, when British rap especially was nascent and kind of cringe-worthy and slightly awkward. 01:00:55.691 --> 01:00:55.951 Yes. 01:00:56.071 --> 01:00:59.452 But he is vindicated by his use of movie samples. 01:00:59.812 --> 01:01:06.174 He released an album called Return of the Jedi, which had exactly the poster for Return of the Jedi on the front. 01:01:06.394 --> 01:01:10.496 He had another album called Organised Rime, which was a brilliant bit of wordplay for 87. 01:01:11.896 --> 01:01:24.519 But this is a single called The Final Conflict and listen out for samples from Omen 3 The Final Conflict starring Sam Neill, the least strung of the Omen trilogy in my opinion, and a candidate to be remade. 01:01:25.219 --> 01:01:26.940 I would like to remake Omen 3. 01:01:26.980 --> 01:01:27.800 Do you think that would play? 01:01:28.080 --> 01:01:29.461 I don't remember what the story was even. 01:01:29.501 --> 01:01:30.801 Oh, he's in the White House, was he? 01:01:31.481 --> 01:01:32.563 Yeah, yeah, exactly. 01:01:32.583 --> 01:01:36.987 That's got a brilliant self-shotgun execution. 01:01:37.207 --> 01:01:38.228 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:01:38.289 --> 01:01:39.750 One of my favourites. 01:01:40.010 --> 01:01:41.992 It's even, what's-her-face? 01:01:42.373 --> 01:01:43.294 Ruby Wax in it. 01:01:43.414 --> 01:01:47.038 Isn't Ruby Wax playing the secretary who opens the door and triggers the gun? 01:01:47.698 --> 01:01:47.819 Oh. 01:01:47.859 --> 01:01:50.221 I think very possibly, I might be remembering that wrongly. 01:01:50.241 --> 01:01:51.102 That might just be a dream. 01:01:51.523 --> 01:02:00.173 So it includes a sample from Omen 3, also Peter Gabriel's Games Without Frontiers, and Robocop, and it ends with a brilliant Highlander sample. 01:02:00.693 --> 01:02:04.417 So think of those samples to pull you through the difficult bits of rapping. 01:02:04.437 --> 01:02:06.220 This is MC Duke with the final conflict. 01:02:06.820 --> 01:02:08.222 He blew the whole place up! 01:02:08.542 --> 01:02:09.943 Ed 209 at the end there, was it? 01:02:10.603 --> 01:02:13.605 Very possibly, shooting the guy over the model of... From Robert Kopp. 01:02:13.785 --> 01:02:14.105 Yeah. 01:02:14.686 --> 01:02:15.586 That's good though, don't you think? 01:02:15.746 --> 01:02:16.327 That is good. 01:02:16.667 --> 01:02:19.268 Well, it's not good, but it's entertaining. 01:02:20.169 --> 01:02:22.550 And for 87, that was some seriously good rapping. 01:02:22.590 --> 01:02:27.193 He was like the MC live, what do you call it, when you battle, like the battling champion. 01:02:27.373 --> 01:02:27.833 Battlin' man. 01:02:28.994 --> 01:02:29.474 Yeah. 01:02:30.014 --> 01:02:30.354 At the end. 01:02:30.394 --> 01:02:30.714 At the end. 01:02:31.034 --> 01:02:35.115 You know I found my books of CD singles during the week. 01:02:36.076 --> 01:02:38.636 I used to buy quite a lot of CD singles and we put them in. 01:02:38.696 --> 01:02:40.396 Do you do that at all organizationally? 01:02:40.436 --> 01:02:41.437 How do you do your CDs? 01:02:41.457 --> 01:02:43.357 They're on shelves in alphabetical order, are they? 01:02:43.537 --> 01:02:45.137 They're not, they're there by genre. 01:02:45.257 --> 01:02:45.978 By genre? 01:02:46.078 --> 01:02:46.358 Yeah. 01:02:46.378 --> 01:02:48.698 And not alphabetically ordered within the genre? 01:02:48.778 --> 01:02:48.958 No. 01:02:49.378 --> 01:02:51.079 Do you find it easy to find things that way? 01:02:51.159 --> 01:02:51.439 Yeah. 01:02:51.819 --> 01:02:52.479 How many have you got? 01:02:53.720 --> 01:02:54.080 About 10,000? 01:02:54.901 --> 01:02:55.201 Right. 01:02:55.721 --> 01:03:00.404 I don't have so many, but the CD singles are in those weird books, zip-up, filey books. 01:03:00.445 --> 01:03:00.665 Yeah. 01:03:01.665 --> 01:03:04.207 And man, it was a real, uh, Trevor Trove. 01:03:04.688 --> 01:03:05.888 Absolutely Trevor Trove. 01:03:05.908 --> 01:03:07.810 Of stuff that I haven't listened to for ages. 01:03:07.950 --> 01:03:11.653 And luckily, I found a whole lot of hip-hop that is in radio edits. 01:03:11.893 --> 01:03:12.133 Uh-huh. 01:03:12.293 --> 01:03:13.033 Clean versions. 01:03:13.053 --> 01:03:17.357 Because as a hip-hop fan, I find it difficult to select stuff to play because of all the swearing. 01:03:17.397 --> 01:03:18.137 Swearing, bad language. 01:03:18.157 --> 01:03:18.998 Yes, bad language. 01:03:19.058 --> 01:03:20.659 And very nasty about ladies. 01:03:20.859 --> 01:03:28.663 No, the way I do it organizationally is I've got them on shelves and the ones I like most I've got at head height. 01:03:29.323 --> 01:03:29.783 Really? 01:03:30.384 --> 01:03:30.624 Yeah. 01:03:31.004 --> 01:03:32.364 Wow, sort of like a news agent. 01:03:32.465 --> 01:03:32.905 Exactly. 01:03:33.125 --> 01:03:34.686 Are the filthier ones on the top shelf? 01:03:35.326 --> 01:03:37.227 Yeah, the absolute filth is on the top shelf. 01:03:37.267 --> 01:03:42.329 Generally like the dance music that I felt compelled to buy in the past and just never listened to. 01:03:42.729 --> 01:03:45.070 I've got that like all the Goa trance compilations. 01:03:45.090 --> 01:03:45.971 What's at foot level? 01:03:46.531 --> 01:03:50.454 Foot level is compilations that friends have made for me. 01:03:50.474 --> 01:03:52.115 You don't like your friends very much? 01:03:52.295 --> 01:03:52.895 No, I do. 01:03:52.976 --> 01:03:54.036 I just like crawling. 01:03:54.857 --> 01:03:58.039 Ah, you like to crawl to your friends to appreciate yourself. 01:03:58.079 --> 01:04:01.421 When I fall over, I just think, oh look, there's that compilation. 01:04:01.461 --> 01:04:03.062 Also, I've got soundtracks down there. 01:04:03.423 --> 01:04:04.123 Film soundtracks. 01:04:04.143 --> 01:04:05.004 That's not very respectful. 01:04:05.044 --> 01:04:06.184 Sound effects, CDs. 01:04:06.265 --> 01:04:09.187 Listen, I use these a lot, but... My soundtracks are at the top. 01:04:09.307 --> 01:04:09.607 Are they? 01:04:09.967 --> 01:04:14.290 Yeah, they tend to gravitate upwards, the classical music and the soundtracks. 01:04:14.350 --> 01:04:14.550 Right. 01:04:14.630 --> 01:04:15.531 Because they're haughty. 01:04:16.471 --> 01:04:17.292 They're high art. 01:04:17.432 --> 01:04:17.632 Yeah. 01:04:18.092 --> 01:04:22.334 My bottom shelf would be CD singles and video games. 01:04:22.514 --> 01:04:26.196 No, CD singles I've got on the very top shelf along with the Goa trance. 01:04:26.216 --> 01:04:26.356 Really? 01:04:26.396 --> 01:04:26.476 Yeah. 01:04:26.556 --> 01:04:27.217 Shidi shingles. 01:04:27.497 --> 01:04:28.757 Shidi shingles on the top shelf. 01:04:28.777 --> 01:04:30.138 My shidi shingles are on the top shelf. 01:04:30.938 --> 01:04:32.739 Listen, are we going to do any textination stuff? 01:04:32.919 --> 01:04:34.760 That wasn't a racist accent, by the way. 01:04:34.800 --> 01:04:37.222 It was just... Where would it be from? 01:04:37.242 --> 01:04:38.162 You've got to be careful. 01:04:38.582 --> 01:04:38.842 Where? 01:04:38.862 --> 01:04:40.763 From my place forever, by top of that. 01:04:40.783 --> 01:04:41.424 Shidi shingles. 01:04:42.824 --> 01:04:47.168 Excuse me, I heard you're shoddy, I was very racist to people from a country. 01:04:48.609 --> 01:04:49.870 Where is your country? 01:04:49.950 --> 01:04:51.151 I don't know, it's called Serbia. 01:04:52.232 --> 01:04:53.253 Serbia now, is it? 01:04:53.293 --> 01:04:54.034 No, Serbia. 01:04:54.114 --> 01:04:55.155 Oh, Serbia. 01:04:55.215 --> 01:04:56.616 You're not snowing, you're Serbia. 01:04:56.696 --> 01:04:57.236 Serbia. 01:04:57.356 --> 01:04:58.337 Is that what you were getting at? 01:04:58.357 --> 01:04:59.498 We should do some text the nations. 01:04:59.518 --> 01:05:01.080 Let's do some after this next track. 01:05:01.100 --> 01:05:03.942 Ben, our producer, you didn't find that music at all. 01:05:04.142 --> 01:05:06.424 You're just looking worried and bored during that. 01:05:07.084 --> 01:05:09.687 It's time for some Massive Attack now, I think, isn't it? 01:05:10.207 --> 01:05:10.968 Massive Attack. 01:05:12.335 --> 01:05:13.857 with safe from harm. 01:05:13.877 --> 01:05:15.900 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 01:05:16.120 --> 01:05:17.522 We're in the midst of Text the Nation. 01:05:17.542 --> 01:05:18.584 Shall we have the jingle, Ben? 01:05:20.887 --> 01:05:21.708 Text the Nation! 01:05:21.768 --> 01:05:22.049 Text! 01:05:22.149 --> 01:05:22.409 Text! 01:05:22.469 --> 01:05:22.810 Text! 01:05:22.950 --> 01:05:23.671 Text the Nation! 01:05:23.751 --> 01:05:24.692 What if I don't want to? 01:05:24.953 --> 01:05:25.614 Text the Nation! 01:05:25.634 --> 01:05:26.175 It doesn't matter! 01:05:26.235 --> 01:05:26.435 Text! 01:05:28.905 --> 01:05:36.531 Yes, Text the Nation this week listeners is all about terrible disasters you've had when trying to communicate with people on the telling phone. 01:05:36.551 --> 01:05:38.052 That's right. 01:05:38.192 --> 01:05:43.136 When you've been rude or forgotten to hang up or that kind of thing, correct? 01:05:43.236 --> 01:05:45.218 Yeah, have you ever had any butt call problems? 01:05:45.938 --> 01:05:47.239 Do you mean, what are they called? 01:05:47.299 --> 01:05:49.101 Gash calls, slash calls. 01:05:49.821 --> 01:06:02.846 I call them butt calls because if you, like, if a person has their phone in their back pocket and they accidentally sit down on it and it dials somebody's number and then you've got, like, a direct line through to that person as they just wander around. 01:06:02.866 --> 01:06:03.867 Yeah, my mum does that a lot. 01:06:03.947 --> 01:06:07.448 Right, and because I'm a... I quite like it, it's life from inside her handbag. 01:06:07.608 --> 01:06:08.249 It's nice, isn't it? 01:06:08.369 --> 01:06:11.390 And sometimes you get little snippets of, um... 01:06:12.298 --> 01:06:13.099 Have you got that in blue? 01:06:13.339 --> 01:06:13.539 Yes. 01:06:14.500 --> 01:06:17.463 My son, he's on BBC Six Music, he's a disgrace. 01:06:17.803 --> 01:06:18.924 I'm so ashamed of him. 01:06:19.725 --> 01:06:20.406 Thank you very much. 01:06:21.006 --> 01:06:22.307 Bye. 01:06:22.348 --> 01:06:24.109 You think that's what my mummy would say? 01:06:24.309 --> 01:06:24.610 Yeah. 01:06:25.190 --> 01:06:25.911 How rude. 01:06:25.951 --> 01:06:26.632 How very rude. 01:06:26.652 --> 01:06:27.272 How rude. 01:06:27.352 --> 01:06:30.856 I've never heard anything salacious on a butt call though, and I often listen. 01:06:30.896 --> 01:06:34.359 I sit there and listen for minutes and minutes before hanging up, just hoping that something... Really? 01:06:34.579 --> 01:06:35.220 Sexy will happen. 01:06:35.880 --> 01:06:43.330 One time, the most fruity thing I ever heard was someone having an argument with their girlfriend while they were looking for a house. 01:06:43.530 --> 01:06:45.973 Well, listen, you might be preempting stuff that people have sent in. 01:06:46.073 --> 01:06:47.154 Okay, let's have a listen. 01:06:47.274 --> 01:06:52.280 In fact, that story might be better than what's been sent in, but it's not, because there's some great stuff being sent in. 01:06:52.301 --> 01:06:53.963 Brilliant, man, you got out of that really well. 01:06:54.543 --> 01:06:56.926 Okay, here's one from Clarky in Liverpool. 01:06:57.346 --> 01:07:08.878 I phoned my mutually childish friend whilst on my lunch, and without giving him a chance to say hello, I did an impersonation of Ben Kingsley from Sexy Beast, quoting that particularly offensive line. 01:07:09.319 --> 01:07:11.040 Which a particularly offensive line. 01:07:11.160 --> 01:07:12.081 They're all offensive. 01:07:12.702 --> 01:07:15.624 This was followed by a pregnant pause on the end of the line. 01:07:16.304 --> 01:07:17.465 He said he would phone me back. 01:07:18.065 --> 01:07:24.670 He later told me that he was in his car with his wife's parents and my phone call diverted through his speakers for all to hear. 01:07:24.870 --> 01:07:26.391 Oh, bad one. 01:07:26.491 --> 01:07:27.451 Bad one, Clarky. 01:07:27.471 --> 01:07:29.132 That happens. 01:07:29.453 --> 01:07:37.718 You know, a thing that often happens is when a person obviously assumes they're going to be speaking to someone if you phone their mobile and someone else picks it up. 01:07:38.138 --> 01:07:39.700 I mean, that happens a fair bit, doesn't it? 01:07:40.160 --> 01:07:51.752 My dad sometimes, when I phone his mobile, at a certain time, like he expects calls from us only at a certain point in the day, and sometimes he thinks it's other people, and he'll do a funny voice? 01:07:52.213 --> 01:07:52.473 No. 01:07:52.493 --> 01:07:53.294 What'll he do? 01:07:54.635 --> 01:07:57.396 Um, he'll just suddenly go out completely out of character. 01:07:57.456 --> 01:08:03.118 You know, because you reserve like sometimes for your family members, you would never do a family, you never do a funny voice. 01:08:03.358 --> 01:08:04.738 Well, that's the way it works in my family. 01:08:04.838 --> 01:08:05.038 Right. 01:08:05.058 --> 01:08:08.299 I don't know about yours, but with my family, I'm very formal and I'm very straight. 01:08:08.719 --> 01:08:09.059 Okay. 01:08:09.739 --> 01:08:13.020 Like, but with a friend, obviously I'd be crazy and goofy and do funny voices. 01:08:13.541 --> 01:08:15.621 And so sometimes the boundaries slip a little. 01:08:16.041 --> 01:08:20.903 And if you get busted by a member of your family doing a funny voice, like I'll phone up my dad, he'll think it's one of his mates or whatever. 01:08:20.923 --> 01:08:21.483 And he'll be like, 01:08:22.339 --> 01:08:22.939 No, no. 01:08:23.059 --> 01:08:24.040 Who's that calling? 01:08:24.060 --> 01:08:24.100 No! 01:08:25.421 --> 01:08:25.581 Right. 01:08:25.681 --> 01:08:26.301 Oh, hi, Daddy. 01:08:26.341 --> 01:08:26.641 It's me. 01:08:26.661 --> 01:08:26.902 It's Adam. 01:08:26.922 --> 01:08:28.142 And he'll be all embarrassed. 01:08:28.222 --> 01:08:29.783 Oh, oh, oh, oh, Adam. 01:08:30.423 --> 01:08:30.583 Oh. 01:08:31.484 --> 01:08:32.605 That's a bit sad. 01:08:33.065 --> 01:08:35.486 Why does he feel he can't be relaxed and convivial? 01:08:35.526 --> 01:08:37.047 And his fault is his fault. 01:08:37.167 --> 01:08:38.208 He established the parameters. 01:08:38.228 --> 01:08:39.068 It's not his fault. 01:08:39.308 --> 01:08:40.989 It's the time that he was raised. 01:08:41.009 --> 01:08:41.449 Maybe. 01:08:41.629 --> 01:08:42.110 Yeah, yeah. 01:08:43.210 --> 01:08:45.711 Uh, okay, here's another one from Matthew Davy. 01:08:46.071 --> 01:08:54.213 Hi Adam and Joe, while having lunch in the canteen where I used to work, my friend and I spent a good 15 minutes assassinating the character of another guy who worked there. 01:08:54.833 --> 01:09:03.535 As we were getting particularly personal, I noticed he was sat directly behind my friend about 30 centimetres away with a group of his friends. 01:09:03.995 --> 01:09:08.936 My friend was still ranting and I had to try and shut him up using the throat slashing cut gesture. 01:09:09.696 --> 01:09:14.058 Bravely, we address the situation by leaving immediately without saying anything. 01:09:14.078 --> 01:09:15.279 That's not telephone based. 01:09:15.559 --> 01:09:15.699 No. 01:09:15.759 --> 01:09:18.300 That's just talking in the world. 01:09:18.380 --> 01:09:19.781 They probably owned telephone. 01:09:20.001 --> 01:09:22.102 OK, and that makes it legitimate. 01:09:22.603 --> 01:09:23.003 That's good. 01:09:23.043 --> 01:09:24.203 Thank you, Matt in Bristol. 01:09:25.604 --> 01:09:28.666 Here is one from Bertil Hogan in Kingston. 01:09:29.186 --> 01:09:32.007 Brackets 10 points to the one who can pronounce my name correctly. 01:09:32.027 --> 01:09:32.708 Do you want to have a go? 01:09:32.728 --> 01:09:34.749 Let's have a look here. 01:09:35.209 --> 01:09:36.310 Bertul Härgen. 01:09:36.651 --> 01:09:37.551 That's right. 01:09:37.972 --> 01:09:41.435 Bertel Haugen. 01:09:41.455 --> 01:09:42.937 Let us know who gets the ten points. 01:09:45.719 --> 01:09:46.600 Hello Adam and Jo. 01:09:46.680 --> 01:09:50.264 My mum has a tendency to accidentally phone people from her mobile. 01:09:50.884 --> 01:09:55.969 She was once in the car with my dad and they were talking about how irresponsible my younger brother is. 01:09:56.650 --> 01:09:59.751 They were being quite forthright and maybe a little mean. 01:10:00.411 --> 01:10:07.294 Unbeknownst to her, she'd accidentally phoned the brother and he was listening to the whole conversation on his mobile. 01:10:07.474 --> 01:10:13.416 So I'm glad that really happens in real life because you see it in films sometimes and it doesn't necessarily ring true. 01:10:13.496 --> 01:10:14.197 That's alarming. 01:10:14.217 --> 01:10:19.080 The idea of one's parents discussing one, even when one... Am I saying one too much? 01:10:19.240 --> 01:10:20.341 No, you're like the Queen. 01:10:20.561 --> 01:10:23.844 Even when one is an adult is disturbing. 01:10:23.884 --> 01:10:29.308 I mean, I remember as a kid in my bedroom, my parents had the bedroom beneath me being able to hear them going... 01:10:37.474 --> 01:10:39.336 And I would be like, oh god, what are you saying? 01:10:39.696 --> 01:10:41.578 What do I, I don't know, what do they think of me? 01:10:41.598 --> 01:10:42.218 Do you remember that at all? 01:10:42.238 --> 01:10:43.379 Yeah man, through the floorboard conversations. 01:10:43.399 --> 01:10:46.321 So that's the sort of modern telephone equivalent. 01:10:46.862 --> 01:10:49.384 But, with the... Hmm, this doesn't look terrible. 01:10:49.804 --> 01:10:51.445 I don't think it looks terrible, really, it's fun. 01:10:51.906 --> 01:10:53.827 Can I take a toothbrush? 01:10:53.847 --> 01:10:56.029 I don't think I have a toothbrush. 01:10:56.089 --> 01:10:57.270 Can I take a toothbrush? 01:10:57.290 --> 01:10:58.010 Can I take a toothbrush? 01:10:58.311 --> 01:11:00.092 Can I take a toothbrush? 01:11:00.532 --> 01:11:04.896 Can I take a toothbrush? 01:11:06.264 --> 01:11:07.645 Why are you laughing at that? 01:11:07.665 --> 01:11:08.485 You're laughing at something. 01:11:08.505 --> 01:11:10.746 No one understands what you're saying. 01:11:11.046 --> 01:11:11.606 I don't know. 01:11:11.686 --> 01:11:17.088 I can't even... I'm laughing because I can't even do the floorboard thing because I'm laughing so much. 01:11:17.349 --> 01:11:18.149 No, okay, just kidding. 01:11:18.169 --> 01:11:18.809 I'll make you that. 01:11:18.829 --> 01:11:20.550 It is a conversation they had about my hair. 01:11:22.090 --> 01:11:24.551 Well, it's so bad. 01:11:24.612 --> 01:11:27.213 He's like, it's how I'm going to do things. 01:11:27.353 --> 01:11:30.214 He's put, he's put like sand in it. 01:11:30.334 --> 01:11:31.954 It's a stick of peroxide. 01:11:36.690 --> 01:11:39.293 Oh, you don't have to play some music, I'm a bit helpless. 01:11:40.154 --> 01:11:41.335 Okay, here's some music then. 01:11:41.355 --> 01:11:41.835 What is it then? 01:11:41.855 --> 01:11:43.076 Oh, this is a free play. 01:11:43.096 --> 01:11:43.717 Yeah, man. 01:11:43.777 --> 01:11:45.058 This is to relax you a little bit. 01:11:45.559 --> 01:11:47.601 Eight-line poem from Hunky Dory. 01:11:47.621 --> 01:11:51.184 This is one of the most relaxing bits of music ever recorded, I think. 01:11:51.204 --> 01:11:52.826 A bit of David Bowie for you listeners. 01:11:52.866 --> 01:11:53.687 That was his intention. 01:11:53.727 --> 01:11:58.411 He just intended it as a chill-out tune to be played in Massage parlours and flotation tank. 01:11:58.952 --> 01:12:00.093 Well, he did a good job then. 01:12:00.273 --> 01:12:00.673 Enjoy. 01:12:00.793 --> 01:12:03.514 That's the Mighty Coldplay with lovers in Japan. 01:12:03.534 --> 01:12:06.014 Hey, this is Adam and Joe here on 6 Music. 01:12:06.134 --> 01:12:06.615 I'm Adam. 01:12:07.375 --> 01:12:08.095 My name's Joe. 01:12:08.175 --> 01:12:10.756 Do you think 6 Music should be playing Coldplay? 01:12:11.336 --> 01:12:11.956 Yeah, why not? 01:12:12.196 --> 01:12:13.496 Because they're so big. 01:12:13.516 --> 01:12:14.437 They're so huge. 01:12:14.497 --> 01:12:16.657 They don't need 6 Music to play them. 01:12:16.757 --> 01:12:18.017 You think we should be more in the margin? 01:12:18.037 --> 01:12:18.978 Yes, I do. 01:12:19.558 --> 01:12:19.878 Wow. 01:12:20.778 --> 01:12:21.619 It's just my opinion. 01:12:21.899 --> 01:12:23.180 Horses for courses. 01:12:23.240 --> 01:12:24.241 Yeah, but horses for courses. 01:12:24.422 --> 01:12:24.942 Oh, that's true. 01:12:24.982 --> 01:12:25.743 I hadn't thought of that. 01:12:25.763 --> 01:12:26.163 Yeah. 01:12:26.303 --> 01:12:28.365 Well, that's put a different spin on it now, isn't it? 01:12:28.986 --> 01:12:29.806 I feel like an idiot. 01:12:29.866 --> 01:12:30.887 You are a bit of an idiot. 01:12:31.288 --> 01:12:32.128 Horses for courses. 01:12:32.449 --> 01:12:33.950 Hey, how about some more egg corns? 01:12:33.990 --> 01:12:34.611 Yeah, come on then. 01:12:35.191 --> 01:12:36.252 We've had some sent in. 01:12:36.332 --> 01:12:37.493 What is an egg corn, Joe? 01:12:39.575 --> 01:12:43.879 It's a misheard word or phrase. 01:12:47.642 --> 01:12:48.443 Why is that funny? 01:12:48.543 --> 01:12:49.584 Okay, more acorns. 01:12:49.745 --> 01:12:54.030 Er, I was once playing, this is from Ray. 01:12:54.110 --> 01:12:54.591 Ray Wake. 01:13:06.165 --> 01:13:10.447 I was once playing a word game with my now husband Chris on a coach to Switzerland. 01:13:10.867 --> 01:13:15.529 It involved thinking of words beginning with the letter W within the category of items of clothing. 01:13:16.049 --> 01:13:26.133 I was completely confused when Chris came up with the item wire fronts, until I realised that for 19 years of his life he had thought the aforementioned item were actually wire fronts. 01:13:27.113 --> 01:13:30.837 So-called, he presumed, because of the pieces of wire that held their shape. 01:13:31.517 --> 01:13:33.979 There isn't any wire in wire fronts, though. 01:13:33.999 --> 01:13:36.341 Maybe very thin wire, wire fronts. 01:13:36.521 --> 01:13:38.603 Maybe he's got, like, special wire pants. 01:13:39.264 --> 01:13:39.784 Maybe. 01:13:40.185 --> 01:13:41.526 Chastity wire fronts. 01:13:42.286 --> 01:13:42.887 That's good, though. 01:13:43.527 --> 01:13:52.095 John Rankin, can we say, Ben the producer, the word that would be used to describe a female dog that begins with B without getting fired? 01:13:52.728 --> 01:13:53.088 Please don't. 01:13:53.628 --> 01:13:53.989 Really? 01:13:54.549 --> 01:13:55.569 I said it earlier on, though. 01:13:55.589 --> 01:13:58.030 What if I say it in the hip-hop phraseology? 01:13:58.270 --> 01:13:58.690 Biarch. 01:13:59.151 --> 01:13:59.711 You can say that. 01:13:59.751 --> 01:14:00.471 You just said that. 01:14:00.511 --> 01:14:01.351 Well, we've done it now. 01:14:01.371 --> 01:14:01.892 Biarch. 01:14:02.712 --> 01:14:04.473 Go on then. 01:14:04.993 --> 01:14:06.293 OK, this is from John Rankin. 01:14:06.333 --> 01:14:13.676 My wife has a friend called Lindsay who thought that the Prodigy's Smack My Biatch Up was called Smack My Big Chop. 01:14:15.157 --> 01:14:16.018 Well, it should have been. 01:14:16.258 --> 01:14:16.819 It should have been. 01:14:16.859 --> 01:14:19.081 She's right, because the way it was before was a disgrace. 01:14:19.101 --> 01:14:22.164 Alright, so those are the ones I've pre-read before reading out. 01:14:22.244 --> 01:14:24.827 I'm now going off- You're going into uncharted territory. 01:14:24.907 --> 01:14:30.273 I'm just going to the ones now that our beautiful assistant, Charlotte, has just labeled egg corn. 01:14:30.473 --> 01:14:31.194 Okay, here we go. 01:14:31.494 --> 01:14:32.255 Guy Bradshaw. 01:14:32.695 --> 01:14:40.400 Dear Adam and Jo, Not sure if this work's written down, that's not promising, but my friend is always making great gaffs when he's at his most serious. 01:14:40.980 --> 01:14:46.784 He was once making a serious point in a debate and referred to a phone-no-nominen. 01:14:46.804 --> 01:14:48.345 A phone-nominen. 01:14:48.365 --> 01:14:50.026 A phone-no-nominen. 01:14:50.387 --> 01:14:52.548 A phone-no-nominen. 01:14:52.568 --> 01:14:53.729 A phone-nominen. 01:14:53.749 --> 01:14:56.110 That's a fascinating phone-no-nominen. 01:14:56.931 --> 01:15:00.734 He was later reading an article out and pronounced Peninsula as 01:15:02.334 --> 01:15:04.916 No, I can't say that. 01:15:04.936 --> 01:15:07.637 But you can guess that it has the word penis in it. 01:15:07.657 --> 01:15:08.357 There you go. 01:15:09.157 --> 01:15:10.178 Cheers to you Bradshaw. 01:15:10.318 --> 01:15:10.558 Thanks. 01:15:10.598 --> 01:15:12.059 Just a bit part of the male anatomy. 01:15:12.079 --> 01:15:12.919 It's not a big problem. 01:15:12.959 --> 01:15:15.580 Well, you can't be ashamed of something that God has given you. 01:15:15.820 --> 01:15:16.521 Well, exactly. 01:15:16.541 --> 01:15:17.641 Especially. 01:15:18.062 --> 01:15:19.202 Or whoever. 01:15:21.883 --> 01:15:23.584 Other deities are available. 01:15:24.264 --> 01:15:25.825 Oh, I thought you meant someone else had given you. 01:15:29.363 --> 01:15:30.184 What's the Santa? 01:15:30.264 --> 01:15:31.825 I don't know, I don't know about your private life. 01:15:33.306 --> 01:15:35.187 Hi guys, this is from John Cox. 01:15:35.708 --> 01:15:40.892 A friend and I thought for years that Paul McCartney was singing Zippy's Having a Wonderful Christmas Time. 01:15:41.052 --> 01:15:44.914 Well that's a different area of egg corns, isn't it? 01:15:44.954 --> 01:15:46.596 Misheard song lyrics. 01:15:46.736 --> 01:15:48.177 Is there a word for those? 01:15:48.457 --> 01:15:48.937 There must be. 01:15:49.938 --> 01:15:51.238 I don't know, music like corn. 01:15:51.519 --> 01:15:53.419 Yeah, that is a bottomless pit, isn't it? 01:15:53.659 --> 01:15:54.739 Oh, here's a good one. 01:15:54.960 --> 01:15:56.560 This is from an anonymous texter. 01:15:57.560 --> 01:16:02.602 Can we, if we have an anonymous texter, can we read the phone number out and then listeners who want to know their name can call them? 01:16:04.462 --> 01:16:05.062 Is that good? 01:16:05.543 --> 01:16:05.983 No. 01:16:06.043 --> 01:16:06.723 No, all right. 01:16:06.743 --> 01:16:07.563 It's been vetoed. 01:16:07.743 --> 01:16:15.225 A former colleague of mine, feeling somewhat persecuted at work that day, turned to me for support, pronouncing, I'm being made a space goat. 01:16:18.413 --> 01:16:22.759 an evocative image, I think you'll agree, a space goat. 01:16:23.100 --> 01:16:23.921 That's very good. 01:16:24.382 --> 01:16:30.110 Well, don't forget that we've got text donation as well, still open if you've got any phone disasters that you've been involved with. 01:16:30.130 --> 01:16:31.132 We've got three more here. 01:16:31.192 --> 01:16:33.475 I'm afraid we're not really being inundated. 01:16:34.076 --> 01:16:34.256 No. 01:16:34.636 --> 01:16:36.878 Some Texan nations work better than others, you know. 01:16:36.898 --> 01:16:37.659 Apparently. 01:16:38.639 --> 01:16:40.160 But this is one of the good ones. 01:16:41.341 --> 01:16:42.582 Positive, nice little positive spin. 01:16:42.602 --> 01:16:43.302 Yeah, thanks mate. 01:16:43.423 --> 01:16:44.163 Put on the end there. 01:16:44.183 --> 01:16:44.563 What now? 01:16:44.623 --> 01:16:45.364 Is it free play time? 01:16:45.384 --> 01:16:50.287 Oh, I thought you were holding them up in a tempting way, but no, let's have a little free... No, we've done my free play. 01:16:50.307 --> 01:16:52.329 We've got Aztec camera for you right now, listeners. 01:16:52.469 --> 01:16:54.670 Enjoy this to take us up to news time. 01:16:54.710 --> 01:16:55.451 This is oblivious. 01:16:55.711 --> 01:16:59.233 Roddy Frame and Aztec camera with oblivious from the past. 01:17:00.655 --> 01:17:01.696 Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:17:01.716 --> 01:17:02.196 Very good. 01:17:02.216 --> 01:17:03.858 The Salmon and John BBC 6 music, by the way. 01:17:03.878 --> 01:17:06.481 I'm just filling with a quick identity stab. 01:17:06.501 --> 01:17:07.642 No, that's nice, man. 01:17:07.662 --> 01:17:08.163 Nicely done. 01:17:08.263 --> 01:17:08.563 Thanks. 01:17:08.663 --> 01:17:10.205 I'm just polishing off my sandwich here. 01:17:10.225 --> 01:17:14.750 I've got an egg mayonnaise and bacon sandwich from the, uh, from the calf this morning. 01:17:14.790 --> 01:17:20.196 It's a calf that I've frequented a couple of times, and each time I've got stuff from this particular calf, I have not enjoyed it. 01:17:20.356 --> 01:17:21.318 Was it freshly made? 01:17:21.698 --> 01:17:23.281 It was freshly made right in front of my eyes. 01:17:23.361 --> 01:17:23.621 Really? 01:17:23.661 --> 01:17:24.323 Which calf was it? 01:17:24.343 --> 01:17:25.424 I can't tell you, obviously. 01:17:25.705 --> 01:17:26.807 On Regent Street? 01:17:26.827 --> 01:17:34.359 Not gonna tell you, but it was a calf and I'm not gonna go there anymore, obviously, but I've got this whole sandwich that I've got here. 01:17:35.468 --> 01:17:36.149 I'm really not enjoying it. 01:17:36.169 --> 01:17:40.173 I mean, it's not the worst sandwich in the world, but it's not that nice, but I'm really hungry. 01:17:40.213 --> 01:17:40.753 So what do I do? 01:17:40.813 --> 01:17:41.774 Am I going to throw it away? 01:17:42.355 --> 01:17:44.517 How would you commit yourself to the whole sandwich? 01:17:44.757 --> 01:17:48.561 Would you just eat it anyway or throw it away and then go for something later on? 01:17:48.601 --> 01:17:48.941 That's the thing. 01:17:48.961 --> 01:17:53.345 You're saying it's completely on that line where you don't know whether to eat it or not. 01:17:53.385 --> 01:17:55.687 I could eat the rest of it, but I'm not going to enjoy it that much. 01:17:56.488 --> 01:18:03.755 Is only half an hour of the show left I wouldn't eat it get a bit hungrier and then buy something nice from somewhere nice on the way I think really enjoy it. 01:18:03.795 --> 01:18:06.878 Yeah, and send it to children in need. 01:18:07.359 --> 01:18:16.227 That's a good idea, man Yeah, pudsy pudsy loves horrible egg mayonnaise sandwiches gonna send it's gonna stamp On it. 01:18:16.488 --> 01:18:18.590 I'm just gonna know yeah, that's a good idea 01:18:19.210 --> 01:18:19.991 It'll fit through the left box. 01:18:20.011 --> 01:18:23.273 Fuzzy love stamped on egg mayonnaise. 01:18:23.573 --> 01:18:24.574 You're already stamping on it. 01:18:24.634 --> 01:18:25.555 You're doing it with your fist. 01:18:25.875 --> 01:18:29.297 Anyway, listen, as if there's anything more important than that, here is the news. 01:18:29.617 --> 01:18:32.599 That's a young band from the Midlands. 01:18:33.200 --> 01:18:36.162 They're called Johnny Shuffle and the Shuffly Men. 01:18:37.023 --> 01:18:38.183 And they're very exciting. 01:18:38.223 --> 01:18:39.724 They're hotly tipped for 2009. 01:18:40.105 --> 01:18:41.986 I think they're stupid and bad. 01:18:42.006 --> 01:18:43.287 I don't ever get anywhere. 01:18:43.467 --> 01:18:47.309 Johnny Shuffle is only four foot tall and he's very wide. 01:18:47.349 --> 01:18:48.670 He's wider than he is tall. 01:18:48.690 --> 01:18:48.990 Really? 01:18:49.330 --> 01:18:50.971 That's why they call him the shuffling man. 01:18:51.572 --> 01:18:57.975 And the rest of the shuffling men, uh, until recently worked in the porn industry. 01:18:58.595 --> 01:19:01.357 And this is the first album that they've made with their clothes on. 01:19:01.997 --> 01:19:02.858 And it's very exciting. 01:19:02.878 --> 01:19:09.161 That was called, uh, Brown Sugar from the new album, Here Come The Shuffly Men, which is out next January. 01:19:10.462 --> 01:19:11.163 No, no, that's true. 01:19:11.183 --> 01:19:11.583 That's not true. 01:19:11.603 --> 01:19:14.085 That was Rolling Stones with Brown Sugar. 01:19:14.105 --> 01:19:15.486 The title was correct, though. 01:19:15.546 --> 01:19:16.127 Brown Sugar. 01:19:17.047 --> 01:19:17.308 Yeah. 01:19:17.588 --> 01:19:20.110 So, listen, an interesting thing has happened with Text the Nation. 01:19:20.670 --> 01:19:21.111 What, nothing? 01:19:22.458 --> 01:19:22.898 Kind of. 01:19:23.459 --> 01:19:26.541 But there were sort of two prongs to our interactivity this morning. 01:19:26.661 --> 01:19:27.921 Well, it went kind of egg corn. 01:19:28.262 --> 01:19:28.842 Exactly. 01:19:28.922 --> 01:19:35.466 And to be honest, the egg corn thing has overtaken the whole call's gone wrong. 01:19:35.526 --> 01:19:35.926 Fair enough. 01:19:35.946 --> 01:19:36.407 It happens. 01:19:36.647 --> 01:19:37.307 But here we go. 01:19:37.367 --> 01:19:40.209 Here are a couple of calls gone wrong that are fit for reading. 01:19:40.809 --> 01:19:43.070 This is from Dee in Preston. 01:19:43.410 --> 01:19:48.593 I work in a social services call centre and I had someone on the phone and then she just disappeared. 01:19:48.913 --> 01:19:52.714 I shouted out to everyone in the office to see if they were having problems with their phones and they weren't. 01:19:53.135 --> 01:19:58.957 I was told I must have pressed a button on my phone and I said like, you know, I haven't read this before, it could just be like a non-story. 01:19:59.677 --> 01:20:05.560 I was told I must have pressed a button on my phone and I said I couldn't have done because I was scratching my bum at the time. 01:20:06.020 --> 01:20:07.001 At this point the woman... 01:20:07.981 --> 01:20:09.162 Hey, that was exciting! 01:20:10.242 --> 01:20:10.783 What happened? 01:20:11.123 --> 01:20:12.424 Why did I get given this one? 01:20:12.464 --> 01:20:13.124 What happened to the woman? 01:20:13.144 --> 01:20:15.425 At this point, the woman reappeared as if by magic. 01:20:15.485 --> 01:20:19.067 Fortunately, she had a good sense of humour and sometimes scratches her own bottom. 01:20:19.688 --> 01:20:20.688 Come on, that's good! 01:20:21.028 --> 01:20:23.150 What's scratching the bottom? 01:20:23.170 --> 01:20:24.851 Let me go back through that. 01:20:25.271 --> 01:20:26.171 Don't go back through it. 01:20:26.692 --> 01:20:28.092 Well, I don't understand it. 01:20:28.132 --> 01:20:28.713 What happened? 01:20:29.153 --> 01:20:52.413 just move on all right d that was great uh this is one from tara hi adam and joe when i was a student studying architecture i had a summer job at a local architecture practice architecture i still can't say it i had a summer job at a local architectural practice i had to phone up an engineer called hammy anderson 01:20:53.254 --> 01:20:54.155 Hammy Anderson. 01:20:54.656 --> 01:21:01.783 Unfortunately, I couldn't get the name Hammy Hamster out of my head, and trutiform phoned up, gave my name and said, can I speak to Hammy Hamster, please? 01:21:02.684 --> 01:21:04.826 With the whole of the open plan office listening. 01:21:05.246 --> 01:21:09.230 I never lived it down and still teased about it, even though it was a good 15 years ago. 01:21:09.250 --> 01:21:10.652 It's not good behaviour for Aquatec. 01:21:12.365 --> 01:21:13.727 No, bad for architect. 01:21:14.207 --> 01:21:23.056 I like the fact that 15 years later, that would be a good textination one day, like things that you're teased about and they're centuries old. 01:21:23.236 --> 01:21:23.997 Right, right, right. 01:21:24.017 --> 01:21:24.877 What would yours be though? 01:21:24.897 --> 01:21:26.579 Have you still been architect? 01:21:26.759 --> 01:21:28.181 Architect. 01:21:28.501 --> 01:21:30.363 When you're 60, you'll still be getting people. 01:21:30.763 --> 01:21:31.544 And here's another one. 01:21:31.584 --> 01:21:35.646 This is starting to mutate into an egg corn one. 01:21:35.706 --> 01:21:36.227 But you know what? 01:21:36.247 --> 01:21:37.047 I haven't read it. 01:21:37.408 --> 01:21:38.548 I thought of another egg corn. 01:21:39.089 --> 01:21:40.430 No holes barred. 01:21:40.990 --> 01:21:41.390 Yes. 01:21:41.650 --> 01:21:41.891 Right. 01:21:42.331 --> 01:21:43.151 Yeah. 01:21:43.291 --> 01:21:46.414 Going around barring the holes where of course it's no holes. 01:21:46.434 --> 01:21:47.895 No holes like in a fruit machine. 01:21:47.995 --> 01:21:48.475 Exactly. 01:21:48.695 --> 01:22:10.093 yeah here's here's another good one well someone's pointed out that batten down the hatches is actually baten the hatches were covered with canvas which was fastened in place by strips of wood ie battens says keith dewitt he's corrected us on stuff before keith dewitt well i'm sure he has i recognize his name maybe he should be our official facts man 01:22:10.433 --> 01:22:11.153 That would be nice. 01:22:11.333 --> 01:22:15.314 Here's a very good one on the subject of egg corns from Lynn Loudon. 01:22:15.894 --> 01:22:22.796 She says, I thought I'd let you know about my wee mum, who is one of the funniest people I know, but she has no idea why. 01:22:23.476 --> 01:22:25.776 She sometimes or often gets her words mixed up. 01:22:25.976 --> 01:22:29.837 EG, she'd been on holiday and was telling me about the hotel room on her return. 01:22:30.317 --> 01:22:33.818 Please adopt a slightly higher pitched, almost but not quite camp, Glaswegian accent. 01:22:34.478 --> 01:22:35.738 Oh here it was lovely! 01:22:35.758 --> 01:22:38.679 It had a swimming pool, a sauna and a kazoozie! 01:22:40.378 --> 01:22:56.817 she genuinely thinks Alzheimer's disease is called old timers disease nothing is ever specific it's Pacific yeah that's a normal one with kids these days and lastly she called my lovely man on his 30th birthday and wished him happy Christmas 01:22:58.519 --> 01:22:59.520 That's just slightly addled. 01:23:00.060 --> 01:23:01.121 One more quick eggcorn. 01:23:01.201 --> 01:23:02.942 Pacific is a very common one, isn't it? 01:23:02.962 --> 01:23:03.202 I know. 01:23:04.062 --> 01:23:04.943 Is that an eggcorn? 01:23:05.003 --> 01:23:05.603 Not so much. 01:23:05.703 --> 01:23:06.564 It's just idiocy. 01:23:06.684 --> 01:23:07.344 Bad speaking. 01:23:08.285 --> 01:23:10.206 Dear Adam and Joe, this is from Nancy Burns. 01:23:10.226 --> 01:23:12.207 A couple of years ago, I went... This is a good one. 01:23:12.567 --> 01:23:15.689 I went to get some photos developed while on holiday in Slovenia. 01:23:16.149 --> 01:23:19.771 When the man asked for my name, I said Nancy, because that's my name. 01:23:20.372 --> 01:23:27.196 When I went back the next day to pick up the photos, I found he had written Nazi on the front of the pack. 01:23:27.956 --> 01:23:32.998 I didn't know enough Salivian to explain, so I just said thank you and left. 01:23:33.078 --> 01:23:34.299 I'm still a bit embarrassed. 01:23:35.079 --> 01:23:35.760 Nazi! 01:23:36.140 --> 01:23:38.721 That brings everything rather beautifully full circle. 01:23:40.642 --> 01:23:41.462 Here's the music now. 01:23:41.502 --> 01:23:43.603 This is the Noisettes with Wild Young Hearts. 01:23:43.903 --> 01:23:46.504 It took us a while to learn, the less is more room, didn't it? 01:24:09.076 --> 01:24:18.182 That's weird, isn't it? 01:24:18.802 --> 01:24:22.304 It's a bit weird to come out of a trail of us. 01:24:22.585 --> 01:24:23.665 I'm not complaining, Ben. 01:24:23.765 --> 01:24:25.847 I think it's... I'm not being passable, but it's weird. 01:24:25.867 --> 01:24:26.587 No, it's just a weird phenomenon. 01:24:26.887 --> 01:24:29.329 Yeah, to come out of a trail of us giggling like a couple of idiots. 01:24:29.369 --> 01:24:31.590 We've got a little reverb on the end of the giggle there as well. 01:24:31.790 --> 01:24:32.911 It's sort of super cool giggling. 01:24:33.797 --> 01:24:36.179 Christmas giggles. 01:24:37.160 --> 01:24:38.661 That's what you've got to look forward to. 01:24:39.321 --> 01:24:41.463 It's a kind of meta effect, isn't it, Reverb? 01:24:41.503 --> 01:24:44.926 It pushes you out of the moment and makes you look at it. 01:24:44.966 --> 01:24:46.607 We should have that function during the show. 01:24:46.768 --> 01:24:49.250 Well, Moyles has got that kind of thing, doesn't he? 01:24:49.290 --> 01:24:52.832 Like if we say something that we're particularly pleased with. 01:24:52.852 --> 01:24:55.134 Can we add effects on the desk here, Ben? 01:24:55.294 --> 01:24:55.875 We'll give it a go. 01:24:56.075 --> 01:24:56.856 I'm not serious. 01:24:57.396 --> 01:24:58.117 I'm serious. 01:24:58.277 --> 01:24:58.737 I'm not. 01:24:59.057 --> 01:25:01.579 Come on, Moils has got to number one doing that kind of thing. 01:25:02.980 --> 01:25:05.041 I think it's a fun thing to do, you know? 01:25:05.301 --> 01:25:07.603 And Mark and Larg used to do that as well. 01:25:07.623 --> 01:25:11.706 I mean, that's a DJ staple, is to have fun effects on the mixing desk there. 01:25:12.046 --> 01:25:13.487 And I think we should do that. 01:25:13.507 --> 01:25:16.169 2009, that's what you got to look forward to. 01:25:16.189 --> 01:25:16.629 New effects. 01:25:16.649 --> 01:25:19.471 You think more sort of widgets and bing-bongs on the show. 01:25:19.551 --> 01:25:19.931 Yeah. 01:25:21.392 --> 01:25:22.093 Funny effects like that. 01:25:22.113 --> 01:25:25.376 What sort of George Lamb style features and yeah. 01:25:26.717 --> 01:25:27.437 That's a good idea. 01:25:27.457 --> 01:25:28.138 That'll be popular. 01:25:28.718 --> 01:25:29.359 I think it will. 01:25:29.779 --> 01:25:29.939 Yeah. 01:25:30.180 --> 01:25:30.640 Come on. 01:25:31.080 --> 01:25:31.481 Come on. 01:25:31.781 --> 01:25:32.221 What now? 01:25:33.322 --> 01:25:34.063 It's your free play now. 01:25:34.363 --> 01:25:34.623 Is it? 01:25:35.224 --> 01:25:35.744 Is it really? 01:25:35.804 --> 01:25:44.692 So this is the far side and I was talking earlier about finding all my little CDs, CD singles and finding some clean versions of hip-hop songs. 01:25:45.392 --> 01:25:47.074 The far side are very difficult to play. 01:25:47.594 --> 01:25:51.436 And I often, when I'm choosing my free plays, I listen to a song and think, oh, this is going to sound brilliant. 01:25:51.796 --> 01:25:54.678 And then about a minute in, they say a dirty toilet word. 01:25:54.718 --> 01:25:57.620 And I think, oh, you idiots, you ruined your chances. 01:25:57.680 --> 01:25:59.280 You've let yourself down. 01:25:59.661 --> 01:26:03.083 But this, you know, things are very sensitive at the castle at the moment. 01:26:03.103 --> 01:26:05.844 There must be no dirty, naughty words at all. 01:26:06.504 --> 01:26:11.807 And in hip hop, there are many words said and often very quickly and sometimes incomprehensibly. 01:26:12.188 --> 01:26:14.289 So one has to listen to the tracks very thoroughly. 01:26:15.029 --> 01:26:31.230 last night went in a slightly tired and tooty state and makes sure there's no, so I'm pretty sure, I'd say I'm 99.9999% sure, I'm 100% sure there are no rude words, that he may describe something that's naughty. 01:26:31.971 --> 01:26:33.331 They're giving you insults for your mama. 01:26:33.411 --> 01:26:35.172 So this could be our last show then. 01:26:35.192 --> 01:26:36.052 Could be the last show. 01:26:36.493 --> 01:26:43.475 It does sound as if he's talking about the other person's mama having nipples so long that they drag on the ground. 01:26:43.695 --> 01:26:49.077 But luckily, you just said that, so if he says it, it's not like... Exactly, and plus he says knuckles. 01:26:49.377 --> 01:26:49.837 Knuckles. 01:26:50.157 --> 01:26:52.638 Yeah, and someone having long nipples would be absurd. 01:26:52.778 --> 01:26:53.338 And sexy. 01:26:54.279 --> 01:26:56.780 Would they be sexy, like really stringy long ones? 01:26:56.820 --> 01:26:58.840 National Geographic-like ones, yeah. 01:26:59.761 --> 01:27:00.441 Can we have the song? 01:27:01.122 --> 01:27:03.255 This is the first time your mama is clean 01:27:05.410 --> 01:27:06.150 That was all right, wasn't it? 01:27:06.170 --> 01:27:06.810 That's all right, man. 01:27:07.051 --> 01:27:08.151 That's the Far Side. 01:27:08.531 --> 01:27:11.692 From Bazaar Ride to the Far Side, I do believe with Yo Mama. 01:27:11.792 --> 01:27:12.572 It's good stuff, man. 01:27:12.612 --> 01:27:13.693 Well, that's old now, isn't it? 01:27:13.953 --> 01:27:17.074 Yeah, but they're brilliant to Far Side, those first two albums. 01:27:17.194 --> 01:27:18.674 What's the Lab Cab in California? 01:27:18.774 --> 01:27:20.095 Yeah, amazing. 01:27:20.435 --> 01:27:22.275 And then, of course, the Fat Lip Solo stuff. 01:27:22.295 --> 01:27:23.356 So amazing. 01:27:23.376 --> 01:27:26.817 They did a couple of albums without Fat Lip, and I'm not sure they were so good. 01:27:26.957 --> 01:27:29.498 No, once Fat Lip was out, the crew was on fire. 01:27:29.518 --> 01:27:32.719 But they were playing in London, actually, the other week with Fat Lip. 01:27:32.759 --> 01:27:33.819 I think the original lineup. 01:27:34.119 --> 01:27:34.500 wicked. 01:27:34.620 --> 01:27:35.681 I didn't go and see them. 01:27:35.841 --> 01:27:37.382 No, God, you really missed out. 01:27:37.402 --> 01:27:37.643 Yeah. 01:27:37.723 --> 01:27:40.325 When Fat Lip got back with them, it was so wicked. 01:27:40.425 --> 01:27:41.046 Roddy Hedge. 01:27:41.527 --> 01:27:42.888 Roddy Hedge, absolutely. 01:27:42.968 --> 01:27:45.531 I got a Christmas card, my first Christmas card this week. 01:27:45.571 --> 01:27:45.851 Wowza. 01:27:46.131 --> 01:27:46.512 Exciting. 01:27:46.532 --> 01:27:47.032 Have you got any yet? 01:27:48.073 --> 01:27:49.314 I think I've got a couple of corporate ones. 01:27:50.095 --> 01:27:53.278 And it said on it, Happy Season. 01:27:54.199 --> 01:27:58.481 Right, because it might be insulting to someone of a non-Jesus-worshipping situation. 01:27:58.501 --> 01:27:59.622 Someone's secular. 01:27:59.742 --> 01:28:12.229 You know, if someone is passionately secular and they get a card that says, Happy Christmas, just seeing the word, the name Christ, don't put that in my face with a robin underneath! 01:28:12.729 --> 01:28:13.850 How dare you! 01:28:14.210 --> 01:28:20.734 You ruined my season with just reminding me about that whole thing in the barn! 01:28:21.687 --> 01:28:23.028 How dare you! 01:28:23.428 --> 01:28:25.089 I'm going to phone them up later on and claim. 01:28:25.149 --> 01:28:29.652 Right, I'm taking this card, I'm taking it to the person who sent it to me, and I'm going to shove it down their throat! 01:28:30.172 --> 01:28:36.176 I'm going to shove it, I'm going to tear up the pieces of your Christmas card, I'm going to make you eat them! 01:28:36.656 --> 01:28:41.419 To teach you a lesson that I don't want to be reminded about him all the time! 01:28:41.679 --> 01:28:42.960 I hate you! 01:28:43.140 --> 01:28:44.101 I hate you! 01:28:44.601 --> 01:28:45.422 Scrappy-doo! 01:28:45.482 --> 01:28:46.582 You've offended me! 01:28:47.723 --> 01:28:48.584 HATE you! 01:28:49.225 --> 01:28:52.268 So luckily that didn't happen because they just put happy season. 01:28:52.288 --> 01:28:54.650 Man, that was quite cathartic, wasn't it? 01:28:54.670 --> 01:28:55.130 Yeah, it was. 01:28:55.511 --> 01:28:59.074 And also, the other ones you get are happy holidays. 01:28:59.574 --> 01:28:59.795 Right. 01:28:59.815 --> 01:29:01.897 What's your favourite secular greeting? 01:29:03.118 --> 01:29:06.521 Enjoyable time, I would put on. 01:29:06.841 --> 01:29:08.142 And what would be on the card? 01:29:08.223 --> 01:29:09.143 Enjoyable time. 01:29:10.545 --> 01:29:11.646 Close up of some tinsel. 01:29:12.307 --> 01:29:13.951 No, that's too specific. 01:29:14.051 --> 01:29:14.873 Right. 01:29:15.194 --> 01:29:17.440 Just maybe blank. 01:29:18.062 --> 01:29:18.422 Blank. 01:29:18.623 --> 01:29:18.783 Yes. 01:29:18.843 --> 01:29:19.124 A watch. 01:29:19.144 --> 01:29:19.325 A watch. 01:29:19.385 --> 01:29:19.666 A watch. 01:29:22.492 --> 01:29:23.413 enjoyable time. 01:29:24.774 --> 01:29:30.678 Focus the attention on time itself rather than why it could be that you're celebrating that time. 01:29:30.858 --> 01:29:31.198 Yes. 01:29:31.419 --> 01:29:32.299 Take it away from that. 01:29:32.359 --> 01:29:33.140 That's a good idea. 01:29:33.860 --> 01:29:39.424 Or be happy brackets on your own terms when you like closed brackets. 01:29:40.465 --> 01:29:43.688 What about going completely the other way and being very specific? 01:29:43.868 --> 01:29:44.128 Right. 01:29:44.448 --> 01:29:45.289 Have a good time. 01:29:45.369 --> 01:29:46.590 Jesus died for your sins. 01:29:47.130 --> 01:29:47.530 Yes. 01:29:48.531 --> 01:29:51.614 Why are you worshipping Christmas if you do not believe in Jesus? 01:29:51.754 --> 01:29:52.935 I hope you burn in hell. 01:29:53.196 --> 01:29:54.257 Yeah, that would be good. 01:29:54.497 --> 01:29:55.678 And what would be on that card? 01:29:55.758 --> 01:29:56.739 Somebody burning in hell. 01:29:56.759 --> 01:29:57.119 Satan. 01:29:57.460 --> 01:29:58.160 Very graphic. 01:29:58.301 --> 01:29:58.801 Yeah, yeah. 01:29:58.881 --> 01:30:00.603 Satan with a little robin red breast on his shoulder. 01:30:00.623 --> 01:30:01.604 But that's not so good, is it? 01:30:02.004 --> 01:30:03.105 It's not so cheery. 01:30:03.405 --> 01:30:04.426 It's way provocative. 01:30:04.446 --> 01:30:04.646 Yeah. 01:30:05.087 --> 01:30:06.648 But it's not as bad as happy 01:30:07.689 --> 01:30:09.490 Christmas Christmas. 01:30:09.510 --> 01:30:10.790 Thanks very much. 01:30:10.830 --> 01:30:11.771 Happy season. 01:30:11.831 --> 01:30:12.451 Happy season. 01:30:12.971 --> 01:30:14.472 No one's going to get offended by happy season either. 01:30:14.492 --> 01:30:14.892 Season of Goodwill. 01:30:14.912 --> 01:30:15.512 You're quite right. 01:30:15.532 --> 01:30:16.433 Why would you be offended by that? 01:30:16.473 --> 01:30:17.453 Do you send the Christmas cards? 01:30:19.314 --> 01:30:21.555 Yeah, I've missed out last year, but I will do this year. 01:30:21.635 --> 01:30:25.196 Yeah, you can look forward to quite an insipid one from the Buxton House. 01:30:25.256 --> 01:30:25.597 Really? 01:30:25.757 --> 01:30:28.658 You usually do nice ones of your kids in funny costumes. 01:30:29.238 --> 01:30:32.259 Yeah, some people don't like kiddie Christmas cards, but it's fun. 01:30:32.359 --> 01:30:32.760 I like them. 01:30:32.920 --> 01:30:33.320 I like them. 01:30:33.740 --> 01:30:34.861 Dear funny, I don't send them. 01:30:35.141 --> 01:30:35.622 Do you not know? 01:30:35.822 --> 01:30:37.163 And we hardly receive them. 01:30:37.263 --> 01:30:38.364 When did you stop sending them? 01:30:38.684 --> 01:30:39.625 I didn't even start. 01:30:39.905 --> 01:30:40.526 Did you never? 01:30:40.746 --> 01:30:42.207 No, not at Christmas. 01:30:42.327 --> 01:30:43.949 I feel like I've got a cornball Christmas card somewhere. 01:30:43.969 --> 01:30:44.589 It's a waste of paper. 01:30:45.069 --> 01:30:47.031 Your mum and dad are so good about sending us cards. 01:30:47.051 --> 01:30:47.812 They're very good. 01:30:48.212 --> 01:30:49.593 Well, you know, they're old school. 01:30:49.914 --> 01:30:51.355 And they get thousands. 01:30:51.395 --> 01:30:51.575 Yeah. 01:30:51.755 --> 01:30:53.637 can hardly move in their house for cards. 01:30:53.877 --> 01:30:54.418 Absolutely. 01:30:54.778 --> 01:30:59.963 Ben's holding up a piece of paper saying, say goodbye, which cruelly interrupts that brilliant... Well, that's fair enough. 01:31:00.643 --> 01:31:00.984 Fair enough. 01:31:01.024 --> 01:31:02.966 Now listen, listeners, we do have to say goodbye. 01:31:02.986 --> 01:31:08.231 We also have to remind you that our next couple of shows are pre-recorded, but they're Christmas crackers. 01:31:08.311 --> 01:31:11.934 Next week is our special present giving show. 01:31:12.014 --> 01:31:13.756 We get drunk during it. 01:31:14.096 --> 01:31:29.311 but I hasten to add that I got slightly drunk because I don't really drink and I had some champagne and it all went wrong but I hasten to add we pre-recorded it in an afternoon even though it'll sound like evil though I said evil though that was my true nature slipping out even though I am evil 01:31:30.432 --> 01:31:34.094 It was recorded during the afternoon, so it's not as terrible as it might sound. 01:31:34.134 --> 01:31:34.594 Check it out. 01:31:34.734 --> 01:31:35.154 It's good. 01:31:35.554 --> 01:31:38.676 And don't forget, of course, to download the podcast. 01:31:38.716 --> 01:31:41.677 It'll be available sometime on Monday right now. 01:31:41.697 --> 01:31:43.298 And don't forget to stay tuned for Liz Kirchill. 01:31:43.318 --> 01:31:44.678 That's the last thing you don't have to forget. 01:31:45.099 --> 01:31:49.420 And now it's time for a bit of Velvet Underground, I think, before we conclude. 01:31:49.580 --> 01:31:50.101 Have a wonderful week. 01:31:50.121 --> 01:31:50.681 Thanks for listening. 01:31:50.701 --> 01:31:52.262 Thanks to everybody who texted and emailed. 01:31:52.442 --> 01:31:54.403 We will see you live again in a couple of weeks. 01:31:54.543 --> 01:31:54.903 Take care. 01:31:54.923 --> 01:31:55.103 Love you. 01:31:55.143 --> 01:31:55.383 Bye.