WEBVTT 00:00.049 --> 00:08.354 The girl from Mars Confectionery Limited, she worked on the production line combining the nougat and the crispy bits on double deckers. 00:09.115 --> 00:10.195 Is that really true? 00:10.215 --> 00:10.495 Yeah. 00:10.816 --> 00:11.876 That's what that song is about. 00:11.956 --> 00:12.236 Yes. 00:13.097 --> 00:13.937 That's by Ash. 00:14.758 --> 00:17.960 And this is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 00:18.360 --> 00:21.483 It's a very nice morning, Saturday morning, fans. 00:21.863 --> 00:24.545 Here in London Town, at least, I hope it's nice where you are. 00:25.005 --> 00:27.587 It's sunny, which is nice, it makes change. 00:27.828 --> 00:28.568 Do you know what I'm saying? 00:28.828 --> 00:29.589 I know what you're saying. 00:30.250 --> 00:34.253 And, uh, what's the forecast like for the weekend, Johnny Weatherpence? 00:34.533 --> 00:45.522 The forecast for this weekend is rain, snow, sleet, uh, sun, sand, frogs, fish, all falling from the sky. 00:45.842 --> 00:46.342 Good one. 00:46.483 --> 00:46.703 Yeah. 00:46.963 --> 00:47.603 Hey, that's good. 00:47.623 --> 00:49.485 That's unusual weather then for this weekend. 00:49.645 --> 00:49.825 It is. 00:49.865 --> 00:50.225 It's 14 weather. 00:50.646 --> 00:55.769 Did you, you know a couple of weekends ago, it snowed where I was in Norfolk. 00:56.410 --> 00:58.411 And did it snow here in London Town? 00:58.431 --> 00:58.951 It didn't, no. 00:58.991 --> 01:01.013 But I saw the Norfolk snow on the telly, I think. 01:01.053 --> 01:01.493 Yeah, yeah. 01:01.513 --> 01:02.274 It was quite thin. 01:02.294 --> 01:02.334 No. 01:02.954 --> 01:03.435 No? 01:03.615 --> 01:05.096 You dissing my snow? 01:05.796 --> 01:12.941 They had a report on the news and there was a woman standing in a snowy street and I noticed that the footprints around her had already melted through to the grass. 01:13.322 --> 01:14.903 Maybe she was standing in a hot street. 01:15.123 --> 01:16.064 That's not real snow. 01:16.124 --> 01:16.725 Proper snow. 01:16.765 --> 01:19.188 You know, you step in it and you get a proper crunch. 01:19.328 --> 01:20.129 Oh, it was crunchy. 01:20.169 --> 01:20.389 Was it? 01:20.409 --> 01:20.770 We were. 01:20.890 --> 01:21.110 Sure. 01:21.230 --> 01:21.671 Oh, wow. 01:21.711 --> 01:22.712 Tobogganing weather? 01:22.792 --> 01:23.173 Certainly. 01:23.193 --> 01:25.235 You know, it was a little sticky for tobogganing. 01:25.315 --> 01:25.836 Sticky? 01:25.976 --> 01:26.757 It was unfortunate. 01:26.777 --> 01:29.060 You know how sometimes it gets a little sticky... Caggy. 01:29.400 --> 01:29.760 Yeah. 01:29.781 --> 01:31.422 It started to melt and then freeze again. 01:32.123 --> 01:34.827 Well, no, when it starts to melt, that's when it gets nice and slidey. 01:35.367 --> 01:35.627 Right. 01:35.727 --> 01:44.513 But anyway, it was a bit too fresh, I don't know what, the consistency wasn't perfect, so the tobogganing was, it wasn't good going for the tobogganing, but we had some amazing snowball fights. 01:44.533 --> 01:44.853 Wow. 01:44.893 --> 01:50.657 And rolling the, you know, you could build really huge snowballs with it, because it was nice and sticky. 01:51.138 --> 01:51.798 It was good. 01:52.359 --> 01:53.499 Oh, I'm jealous, that sounds good. 01:53.519 --> 01:54.680 It never snows in London. 01:55.220 --> 01:55.481 No. 01:55.541 --> 01:56.962 Or any of the major conurbations. 01:57.022 --> 01:58.142 It's too warm though, isn't it? 01:58.483 --> 02:00.084 It is, how can we solve that? 02:00.644 --> 02:01.825 By just chilling people out. 02:02.145 --> 02:16.941 really playing a lot of chill out music a massive chill out having a huge like chill play a lot of zero seven and then right it'll really really snow all right i'll do that that's the plan yeah so folks we've got a packed show for you it's literally packed 02:17.701 --> 02:21.382 There'll be very little dead air, and it's exciting. 02:21.943 --> 02:23.023 Am I talking it up well? 02:23.143 --> 02:24.323 Yes, good man, keep going. 02:24.443 --> 02:27.224 Okay, we've got Text the Nation for you later on. 02:27.644 --> 02:28.365 It's a feature. 02:28.745 --> 02:31.086 People text us stuff, we read it out. 02:31.666 --> 02:33.907 Also, we've got Song Wars this week. 02:33.947 --> 02:40.429 We haven't done a song for a while, and we have a National Treasure Song Wars coming up later on. 02:40.549 --> 02:46.811 That's not the Nick Cage film, but songs about National Treasures, which we decided that we would do last weekend, in fact. 02:47.051 --> 02:49.933 I think we decided on the podcast that that would be the subject. 02:50.694 --> 02:54.657 So if you're a podcast listener, then it's nice that we're going to follow through with that. 02:54.897 --> 03:00.621 But listen, I'm going to stop rambling for the time being and play a track right now from one of the hot bands of 2009. 03:01.562 --> 03:03.723 I saw it on the BBC News website. 03:03.763 --> 03:07.426 They had a list of hot bands, which I might tell you about a bit later on. 03:07.926 --> 03:11.569 And this was one of them, Florence and the Machine with Dog Days Are Over. 03:11.829 --> 03:13.670 Dog days are over, you see. 03:13.710 --> 03:15.051 That's Florence and the Machine. 03:15.091 --> 03:16.592 And they are tipped for the top in 2009. 03:17.813 --> 03:18.094 Really? 03:18.114 --> 03:20.075 Do you want to hear some other bands that are on that list? 03:20.095 --> 03:21.576 Yes, this is from the BBC website. 03:22.657 --> 03:27.580 Now, I might throw in some made-up bands here, so you have to identify which ones are the winning ones. 03:27.760 --> 03:28.021 Okay. 03:29.421 --> 03:31.182 Frank music, all one word. 03:33.122 --> 03:39.803 He's a singer, a remixer, and a dancer, and an all-round whiz kid, Vincent Frank, and he creates high-energy robo-pop. 03:40.544 --> 03:40.924 Rubbish. 03:41.104 --> 03:41.504 Rubbish. 03:41.544 --> 03:42.444 With fast neon beats. 03:42.484 --> 03:42.964 Made up. 03:43.304 --> 03:43.644 Rubbish. 03:43.704 --> 03:45.325 And 80s tinged tunes. 03:45.365 --> 03:45.805 Nonsense. 03:46.305 --> 03:46.725 He's real. 03:46.985 --> 03:47.245 Is he? 03:47.385 --> 03:48.125 Frank music. 03:48.245 --> 03:48.825 Frank music. 03:49.125 --> 03:49.685 Frank music. 03:49.985 --> 03:54.726 He's a white guy and he looks sort of weedy, and he looks as if he might lisp. 03:55.187 --> 03:56.867 Not that there's anything wrong with that, obviously. 03:57.807 --> 04:02.749 Um, but he sounds exactly like a cross between keen, current keen, and black kids. 04:02.789 --> 04:04.490 I'm still reeling from the fact that he's white. 04:05.070 --> 04:06.170 Yeah. 04:06.230 --> 04:06.871 I mean, God. 04:07.211 --> 04:07.891 Frank Music. 04:08.151 --> 04:09.052 What's the world coming to? 04:09.092 --> 04:10.112 I'm describing him for you. 04:10.132 --> 04:10.672 Yeah, no, that's good. 04:11.372 --> 04:12.573 Um, Little Boots. 04:13.193 --> 04:14.554 That's real. 04:14.574 --> 04:15.074 Okay. 04:15.094 --> 04:15.954 Have you heard of Little Boots? 04:16.374 --> 04:17.355 Victoria Hesketh. 04:18.155 --> 04:22.437 She used to be in the Synthrock girl group Dead Disco. 04:22.617 --> 04:23.778 Remember Dead Disco? 04:23.858 --> 04:31.041 Everyone remembers Dead Disco to pursue a solo pop path and she's been guided by Hot Chip's Joe Goddard. 04:31.081 --> 04:31.641 Thank God. 04:31.902 --> 04:33.042 He guides her around everywhere. 04:33.062 --> 04:34.043 She would have got terribly lost. 04:34.123 --> 04:36.144 Well, exactly, and or she might step in things. 04:36.404 --> 04:37.524 He's like a seeing eye dog. 04:37.844 --> 04:38.385 Exactly. 04:38.445 --> 04:45.448 Victoria Hesketh is prone to step in things and you can hire Joe Goddard from Hot Chip to guide you around. 04:45.848 --> 04:46.008 Right. 04:46.068 --> 04:47.790 Also, he's good in department stores. 04:47.910 --> 04:49.191 He holds an umbrella up, doesn't he? 04:49.532 --> 04:52.875 He holds an umbrella and like a light stick as well if it's getting dark. 04:53.436 --> 05:00.223 And he says, this way, undies, this way, if you're looking for fairy lights, you'll need to go over there to that department. 05:00.663 --> 05:02.024 He's ideal for that kind of thing. 05:02.345 --> 05:04.447 So little boots, that's exciting. 05:04.947 --> 05:05.288 Stat. 05:05.808 --> 05:07.250 Two former Nazis now. 05:07.310 --> 05:07.970 What? 05:08.111 --> 05:15.579 Two former nurses from Derby who play electronically tinged guitar pop that recalls the white stripes and... What are they called? 05:15.639 --> 05:16.279 De La Soul. 05:16.580 --> 05:16.960 Stat. 05:17.561 --> 05:17.981 Stat. 05:18.101 --> 05:19.022 Is that a medical term? 05:19.163 --> 05:19.443 Yeah. 05:19.583 --> 05:20.644 That's something they shout in ER. 05:20.664 --> 05:20.965 Yeah. 05:21.265 --> 05:22.326 Yeah, it's made up. 05:22.466 --> 05:23.167 It is made up. 05:23.868 --> 05:24.388 Why? 05:24.428 --> 05:25.509 Because you know I like ER. 05:25.529 --> 05:26.150 Why are you called to you? 05:26.170 --> 05:26.290 Yeah. 05:27.471 --> 05:44.860 That you wish that existed I do wish you wish they operate on you the two nurses I was thinking of their act they'd sew up your wounds with guitar strings That's a gun strum your stitches you see I mean that the show is coming together and they could play drenched in blood Yeah, and they plug your winky into an amp. 05:45.840 --> 05:47.441 I see what noise it made you wanted. 05:47.621 --> 05:48.862 What noise you made Oh 05:52.038 --> 05:53.560 That would be your average stat gig. 05:55.882 --> 05:57.764 A human instrument on stage would be good. 05:57.784 --> 06:02.769 You know, like take the whole idea of a Bez type figure a bit further and plug in a person. 06:02.869 --> 06:04.330 And what was Howard Jones' dancer called? 06:04.350 --> 06:05.752 You always know this and I can... I don't. 06:05.892 --> 06:06.372 Chain man. 06:06.472 --> 06:07.013 I don't remember. 06:07.113 --> 06:07.353 Bob. 06:07.533 --> 06:08.014 Chain boy. 06:08.054 --> 06:08.314 Phil. 06:09.355 --> 06:11.317 And he, yeah, you would plug him in. 06:11.357 --> 06:11.998 That's a good idea. 06:13.755 --> 06:14.756 and get some noises out of it. 06:14.776 --> 06:15.537 Like a Muppet phone. 06:16.117 --> 06:16.538 Stat. 06:17.338 --> 06:17.699 Rubbish. 06:17.859 --> 06:19.040 Come on. 06:19.080 --> 06:20.622 Next. 06:21.042 --> 06:25.226 How about Empire of the Sun, right? 06:25.726 --> 06:27.768 Australian duo Empire of the Sun. 06:27.988 --> 06:33.033 They mold 1980s-influenced soft pop synthesizers and blissed out space beats. 06:34.014 --> 06:34.274 Real. 06:34.474 --> 06:37.076 It's about time someone called a band after that film. 06:37.556 --> 06:37.717 Right. 06:37.737 --> 06:38.537 I'd say that's real. 06:38.797 --> 06:39.438 That is real. 06:39.658 --> 06:42.340 But one of the guys used to be in The Sleepy Jackson, if you remember that. 06:42.400 --> 06:42.760 Of course. 06:43.000 --> 06:44.481 And they look like MGMT. 06:44.981 --> 06:46.682 And that's basically as far as... What's meaning what? 06:46.742 --> 06:47.903 That they haven't got shirts on? 06:48.403 --> 06:51.065 No, they're all dressed up like raving ponces. 06:51.185 --> 06:51.525 Oh, right. 06:52.486 --> 06:55.308 And that's the thing for 2009, as far as I can tell. 06:55.848 --> 06:57.870 Everybody's going like early 80s. 06:58.630 --> 06:59.911 Of course, we predicted this. 06:59.971 --> 07:01.252 Maybe it was in a pre-record. 07:01.672 --> 07:04.134 We predicted the next thing coming round was Rave again. 07:04.294 --> 07:04.554 Right. 07:04.774 --> 07:10.958 Because that's what... Well, not so much Rave, but just sort of... I read a big thing in the paper about Rave coming back. 07:11.018 --> 07:11.279 Is it? 07:11.659 --> 07:11.919 Yeah. 07:12.920 --> 07:13.420 So there. 07:13.820 --> 07:14.501 Is that a good thing? 07:14.601 --> 07:16.162 I was never a part of the Rave scene. 07:16.802 --> 07:17.803 Did you go to any Raves? 07:18.003 --> 07:18.583 Not really. 07:19.204 --> 07:20.104 It bypassed me. 07:20.925 --> 07:22.546 I was already too old by that stage. 07:22.766 --> 07:23.407 It's ludicrous. 07:23.667 --> 07:24.748 Listen, more music now. 07:25.868 --> 07:28.230 And is this a free play now? 07:29.371 --> 07:30.031 Oh yeah, it's mine. 07:30.071 --> 07:31.172 This is Cornelius. 07:31.212 --> 07:32.113 He's from Japan. 07:32.974 --> 07:33.774 This is called Drop. 07:34.475 --> 07:35.576 He's having his bath there as well. 07:35.596 --> 07:37.758 Yeah, that was recorded entirely in his lavvy. 07:38.338 --> 07:39.219 In the lav? 07:39.679 --> 07:41.541 In the bowl of the lav or in the bath? 07:41.721 --> 07:42.562 All around the place. 07:43.202 --> 07:47.846 Up the spout, down the vicar's pantry. 07:48.506 --> 07:49.227 Is that a saying? 07:49.367 --> 07:50.147 Yeah, it is now. 07:50.948 --> 07:52.809 You know, that's dangerous though, isn't it? 07:53.149 --> 07:55.611 Especially Cornelius with all his electronics. 07:55.691 --> 07:57.692 Oh, he uses organic electronics. 07:58.092 --> 07:58.513 Oh, does he? 07:58.573 --> 08:01.955 They've only got them in Japan at the moment, but machines powered by Cress. 08:02.976 --> 08:03.776 By watercress? 08:04.557 --> 08:05.457 You wouldn't understand it, man. 08:05.497 --> 08:07.058 It'll be here in a couple of years. 08:07.739 --> 08:08.219 Cress power. 08:08.399 --> 08:13.141 Yeah, all the MP3 players and stuff like that and phones in Japan are now powered by Kress. 08:13.321 --> 08:14.081 That's very good. 08:14.101 --> 08:14.882 Yeah, thanks. 08:15.002 --> 08:16.522 Kress would be a good name for a band, wouldn't it? 08:17.303 --> 08:17.663 Probably. 08:17.683 --> 08:20.984 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 08:21.804 --> 08:27.687 After the news, we are going to unveil our Song Wars songs and that's going to be exciting. 08:27.707 --> 08:30.808 Of course, last week I played you my Biff Baff Boff demo. 08:31.368 --> 08:36.010 Now, lots of people have said that that is exactly the same as the sweet track, Wigwam Bam. 08:37.450 --> 08:46.173 And that Mallet and Van Dae were subconsciously channeling that sweet song, and were they to actually release that single, they would be needing to send all the money to the sweet. 08:46.653 --> 08:46.913 Right. 08:47.253 --> 08:47.533 Yeah. 08:47.913 --> 08:52.495 Several people texted and emailed and actually told me that socially during the week. 08:52.795 --> 08:53.075 Okay. 08:53.215 --> 08:54.015 Who listened to the show. 08:54.195 --> 09:01.157 I'm not familiar with the song, but that's the thing with, you know, genius pop, very basic pop. 09:01.497 --> 09:05.061 You never know when it's original or when you're just... It's very seldom. 09:05.141 --> 09:07.323 You only have to put a slight spin on it, I think. 09:07.423 --> 09:14.951 I mean, you can't... If there's only three chords involved, you can't sue someone for using those same three chords, even in the same sort of order, really. 09:16.437 --> 09:19.578 And even if they have exactly the same lyrics and stuff. 09:19.818 --> 09:22.499 But you got some exciting feedback from your song, didn't you? 09:23.199 --> 09:24.619 I got some amazing feedback. 09:25.239 --> 09:32.821 ITV2 phoned up my agent and they said that, you know, they do a show called I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now. 09:32.841 --> 09:33.462 I know I've seen it. 09:33.542 --> 09:35.622 It's presented by Mark Good on Smith. 09:36.162 --> 09:36.703 Yeah, that's right. 09:36.723 --> 09:38.583 But who's the guy from Busted and his wife? 09:38.623 --> 09:39.203 Matt. 09:39.263 --> 09:40.284 Yeah, Matt from Busted. 09:40.304 --> 09:41.104 Matt Willis. 09:41.844 --> 09:43.404 And his lovely wife or girlfriend? 09:43.424 --> 09:45.565 They're kind of the new Rich and Judy. 09:45.885 --> 09:46.105 Right. 09:46.526 --> 09:47.907 They're a couple and they live in the jungle. 09:47.927 --> 09:49.728 Yeah, and he's a very odd shape, isn't he? 09:50.229 --> 09:51.230 He's like evil Tintin. 09:51.790 --> 09:53.572 If Tintin had gone bad, he'd look like Matt Willis. 09:53.592 --> 09:53.912 Yeah, that's true. 09:53.932 --> 09:55.454 Well, he's got his crazy quiff now, doesn't he? 09:55.474 --> 09:56.895 He's got too many things going on. 09:57.355 --> 09:58.796 He's got too many signifiers. 09:58.836 --> 10:03.901 He's got the crazy quiff, the pirate facial hair, tattoos left, right and centre. 10:03.941 --> 10:04.782 He's had some tattoos. 10:04.902 --> 10:05.702 Bit of a pot belly. 10:06.463 --> 10:08.985 which doesn't look good with the new skinny jeans look. 10:09.125 --> 10:10.305 Or maybe it does, I don't know. 10:10.325 --> 10:11.386 It does look good. 10:11.426 --> 10:14.308 But he's got very skinny jeans and quite a little tum tum. 10:14.328 --> 10:17.510 It's funny that you mention that because I've been studying him very carefully. 10:17.570 --> 10:20.732 It's impossible not to because he's got so many things to draw the eye in. 10:20.772 --> 10:22.133 He's like a shop window of a man. 10:23.314 --> 10:24.935 And he's not, I mean he's trim. 10:25.055 --> 10:25.955 He's in good shape. 10:26.215 --> 10:29.157 But he's one of those people who appears porkalicious. 10:29.237 --> 10:31.038 Because he's gone for the new skinny look. 10:31.279 --> 10:32.839 And he's a man that enjoys his life. 10:32.880 --> 10:33.200 He's not a 10:33.800 --> 10:34.481 A fat man? 10:34.621 --> 10:34.981 No, no. 10:35.001 --> 10:36.683 But he's a bon vivir. 10:36.743 --> 10:38.865 I mean, he's got a little bon la belly. 10:38.965 --> 10:41.227 He even used to be a little bit more porksome. 10:41.747 --> 10:42.007 Really? 10:42.087 --> 10:43.208 But now he's not in any way. 10:43.268 --> 10:43.909 Was he the drummer? 10:43.969 --> 10:44.850 He's completely trim. 10:44.870 --> 10:45.430 Impusted? 10:45.650 --> 10:46.331 Oh, I don't know. 10:46.371 --> 10:47.532 Maybe he hid behind the drums. 10:47.552 --> 10:48.273 Was he the drummer? 10:48.293 --> 10:49.874 Was there a drummer in busted? 10:49.994 --> 10:50.755 I don't know. 10:50.955 --> 10:52.016 Did they use drums? 10:52.597 --> 10:53.397 Were they real? 10:54.058 --> 10:55.039 Did they actually happen? 10:55.659 --> 10:58.442 Were they really one of the biggest bands in the UK for a time? 10:58.982 --> 11:24.920 phone they phoned you up yeah they phoned up and they said would I like to come on the show and play my Biff Baff Boff song yes you what so of course I said there's no way that I'm doing right I can't no I couldn't do it I could well a live performance of a garage band song would be a bit odd wouldn't be a bit strange yeah be like an orbital gig I've learned my lesson with things like that really so plus I was too busy and I couldn't do it so I say anything like an orbital gig actually 11:25.060 --> 11:27.162 I said, I regret that I won't be able to do that. 11:27.342 --> 11:29.243 And they said, well, could we just play the song? 11:29.263 --> 11:30.844 So I said, yeah, you know, you're welcome to play the song. 11:30.864 --> 11:35.147 And there was a big, uh, scurry about like, could you get it over to us as quickly as possible, please? 11:35.187 --> 11:38.089 So I emailed it over and to the producer there. 11:38.169 --> 11:45.795 And, um, but then a while later, he sort of emailed me back and said, thanks very much, uh, for the, um, for the track there. 11:46.575 --> 11:55.559 You know, I'm I really There's a there's a strong possibility that we won't be able to play it just to let you know You know and it was all like he'd switched the power thing right back on me. 11:55.579 --> 11:56.099 Do you know what I mean? 11:56.599 --> 12:11.505 No Like oh he'd made you feel important Yeah as if you had something they wanted exactly and then and then it was like excited in order to get it over quickly And then it was like I'd sent the thing in myself like please please could you play my biff bath bath song? 12:15.046 --> 12:20.229 No, we'll try to play it, Addy, but it's highly unlikely. 12:20.309 --> 12:24.552 But thanks very much for sending in your Biff Baff Both song, and here's a lolly. 12:24.872 --> 12:25.713 How cruel of them. 12:25.833 --> 12:26.773 It was a little bit cruel, I thought. 12:26.793 --> 12:28.074 I bet they didn't even send a lolly. 12:28.514 --> 12:29.395 You know, I never got the lolly. 12:29.415 --> 12:30.235 Never got the lolly. 12:30.535 --> 12:32.156 It would have been fine if they'd just sent lolly. 12:33.137 --> 12:33.857 Do you remember her? 12:33.977 --> 12:34.218 Yes. 12:34.358 --> 12:35.218 My radio rocks. 12:35.518 --> 12:39.721 If she'd come round and sang my radio rocks, I would have been absolutely fine with it, but there was no appearance of lolly. 12:39.961 --> 12:41.142 What a rollercoaster ride. 12:41.182 --> 12:42.823 Imagine making it onto ITV2. 12:42.983 --> 12:45.205 I mean, I still will have to imagine it, because it didn't happen. 12:45.225 --> 12:45.985 Would have been the peak of our career. 12:46.005 --> 12:46.726 Would have been amazing. 12:47.386 --> 12:49.527 Here's a trail for you, ladies and gentlemen, right now. 12:51.969 --> 12:53.010 Is that Daft Punk? 12:53.030 --> 12:54.190 That is Daft Punk. 12:54.211 --> 12:55.611 They're from France, did you know that? 12:55.832 --> 13:02.176 Yes, that was the song called... They're like robot men, they wear hats and robots hats. 13:02.536 --> 13:05.218 They are robot men from the future, they have hats. 13:06.027 --> 13:16.491 Now, last week we were asking you listeners whether you'd had any dreams involving Adam and I. We're supposed to do this earlier in the show, really, for early morning listeners, but a couple of emails came in. 13:16.531 --> 13:18.191 Here's one from Julia Warley. 13:18.771 --> 13:21.012 Dear Joe, I had a dream about you last week. 13:21.052 --> 13:22.693 Unfortunately, it wasn't a sexy dream. 13:23.393 --> 13:27.754 We were standing by the self-service weighing machine in the fruit and vegetable section of Waitrose. 13:28.314 --> 13:29.255 Nothing much happened. 13:29.795 --> 13:34.616 I just marveled at your tall, tall, sturdy presence over me and felt reassured. 13:35.036 --> 13:37.157 It was a bit like you were the giant from Twin Peaks. 13:37.697 --> 13:39.598 Wise and strange and enticing. 13:40.138 --> 13:42.579 I was, of course, also thrilled and aroused by the experience. 13:42.879 --> 13:46.640 Maybe one day it'll come to pass, and I wish it hadn't been such a trivial meeting. 13:48.789 --> 13:49.610 Well, that's an amazing dream. 13:49.630 --> 13:50.331 That's my power. 13:50.571 --> 13:50.831 Yeah. 13:50.951 --> 13:51.852 What kind of dream is that? 13:51.872 --> 13:53.074 There's no progression in the dream. 13:53.294 --> 13:54.615 It doesn't have to be progression. 13:54.635 --> 13:55.476 It's an ambient dream. 13:55.636 --> 13:55.776 Really? 13:55.796 --> 13:56.257 Ambient dream. 13:56.277 --> 13:57.138 Meandering dream. 13:57.158 --> 13:58.159 That's a little bit boring. 13:58.339 --> 13:59.380 Here's one from Fiona. 13:59.760 --> 14:03.344 I thought it was funny to hear that you get listeners writing in about saucy dreams involving you. 14:03.464 --> 14:06.447 I had such a dream years ago and have never forgotten it. 14:07.108 --> 14:26.210 another one about you Adam chased me round a supermarket sweep style supermarket full of inflatable paddling pools on high shelves I was very frightened and when he caught me he started to spank me in one of the paddling pools I didn't as you might expect wake up at that moment but carried on getting spanked for ages 14:28.272 --> 14:28.772 They're dreams. 14:28.792 --> 14:30.173 They're not supposed to make any sense. 14:30.653 --> 14:31.213 Was that real? 14:31.233 --> 14:31.833 Did you do that? 14:32.553 --> 14:33.754 That's based on real events. 14:33.894 --> 14:35.594 Is it? 14:35.614 --> 14:36.414 What's different then? 14:37.475 --> 14:39.435 Maybe they'll tell us during the news. 14:39.555 --> 14:41.256 How long the spanking went on is different. 14:41.536 --> 14:44.097 Yes, it is 9.30 and time for the news. 15:02.983 --> 15:21.970 Yes Song Wars is back listeners after an absence of a few weeks two or three weeks and this week we've written songs about national treasures now we were talking about this again a few weeks ago we by by saying national treasures we mean people who are essential to the fabric of the nation 15:22.560 --> 15:25.623 Yes, Terry Wogan in the broadcast media kind of thing. 15:27.344 --> 15:31.407 The naturalist David Attenborough, Dickie Attenborough even. 15:31.748 --> 15:34.050 People who the country would be worse off without. 15:34.270 --> 15:34.810 That's right. 15:35.511 --> 15:38.253 Jonathan Ross I would put in there controversially at the moment. 15:40.195 --> 15:41.235 And Stephen Fry. 15:41.596 --> 15:41.876 Yes. 15:41.976 --> 15:42.617 Would be mine. 15:43.257 --> 15:45.480 Now, is Fry your choice for your song? 15:45.520 --> 15:46.862 Fry is my choice for my song. 15:47.022 --> 15:48.745 Yep, I've written a song about Stephen Fry. 15:49.326 --> 15:49.606 Right. 15:49.826 --> 15:50.808 And who have you gone for? 15:50.928 --> 15:52.790 I've gone for Lumley, as promised. 15:53.471 --> 15:57.737 Because this is because mainly you saw a show where she went to the North Pole and looked at the Northern Lights. 15:57.797 --> 15:58.138 Yeah. 15:58.478 --> 15:59.740 And you were seduced by her. 16:00.701 --> 16:01.842 Yeah, I think she's wonderful. 16:01.942 --> 16:03.403 She's lovely, lovely, lovely. 16:04.003 --> 16:07.826 Our generation always fancied Lumley, of course, when we were growing up, the New Avengers. 16:08.366 --> 16:10.728 As Purdie, she was incredibly alluring. 16:10.788 --> 16:12.429 I think these are just the lyrics to my song. 16:12.609 --> 16:12.909 Are they? 16:13.009 --> 16:13.250 OK. 16:13.450 --> 16:17.873 We should remind listeners about what Song Wars is, if they're new listeners. 16:18.433 --> 16:25.141 Me and Adam have composed these songs and recorded them and played them using computer software during the week, right? 16:25.321 --> 16:30.287 Although I constructed this one largely from real musical instruments. 16:30.647 --> 16:30.988 Really? 16:31.068 --> 16:32.189 I played all the bits on this one. 16:32.209 --> 16:32.990 That's exciting. 16:33.050 --> 16:33.210 Yeah. 16:33.651 --> 16:35.673 But we've done them since last Saturday. 16:35.693 --> 16:35.974 Yeah. 16:36.394 --> 16:37.675 So we haven't had much time. 16:37.875 --> 16:38.075 No. 16:38.235 --> 16:40.916 So don't expect anything like special or proper. 16:41.076 --> 16:43.118 How wonky is your one this time round? 16:43.318 --> 16:44.198 It's fairly wonky. 16:44.238 --> 16:45.619 It's wonky in new ways though. 16:46.939 --> 16:56.745 So we're gonna flip a coin and the point of this listeners is that you listen to both tracks and then you vote for the one that you like best and the one that wins gets the privilege of being played again next week. 16:57.345 --> 16:59.406 The other one just disappears into the ether. 16:59.546 --> 17:01.327 That's right where it belongs. 17:01.607 --> 17:02.828 I've tossed a coin, heads or tail? 17:03.329 --> 17:04.730 Heads to go first for me. 17:04.871 --> 17:05.271 It's heads. 17:05.351 --> 17:06.312 You're heading first. 17:06.352 --> 17:08.254 Right, okay, so this is my song about Stephen Fry. 17:08.294 --> 17:09.616 There's a little bit you need to know about it. 17:10.577 --> 17:19.887 It is done in the style of Gary Newman, early Gary Newman, and I have tried as closely as possible to replicate an early Gary Newman track. 17:20.507 --> 17:22.989 and sung in the style of the Numenoid. 17:23.769 --> 17:27.532 And the lyrics are more or less a hagiography about Stephen Fry. 17:27.552 --> 17:30.234 You know, they are completely pro, I would say. 17:30.714 --> 17:34.457 And I've tried to include every aspect of his life. 17:34.477 --> 17:35.037 Do you know what I mean? 17:35.578 --> 17:36.318 Every aspect? 17:36.378 --> 17:36.819 Yeah. 17:37.139 --> 17:37.339 Yeah. 17:37.399 --> 17:39.240 And that's made me feel a little queasy. 17:39.300 --> 17:41.402 Some parts of it might be a little queasy for listeners. 17:41.682 --> 17:41.862 All right. 17:42.202 --> 17:44.464 So here's my song about Stephen Fry. 17:49.172 --> 18:12.178 This is a song about Stephen Fry Including well-known facts about his life in the style of early Gary Newman If you were making a documentary about Stephen Fry You could use this song in it to illustrate different bits He was a tear away when he was young 18:13.297 --> 18:38.958 He was expelled from school and even went to jail He stole a credit card from a family friend But he cleaned up his act and got a scholarship To go to Cambridge University Where he met Hugh Laurie from House He's got a fruity way of talking He uses lots of long words He's nice 18:53.575 --> 18:56.717 made them perfect for playing chiefs and was stunned. 18:57.298 --> 19:03.542 It was clear that they were all so good at acting, which of course they've both gone on to do. 19:03.762 --> 19:06.424 He was marvelous as his hero Oscar Wilde. 19:06.945 --> 19:09.907 Steven struggles publicly with his mental health. 19:10.967 --> 19:13.950 He goes from highs to unbearable loves. 19:14.030 --> 19:16.591 He's done a programme about him that was good. 19:17.052 --> 19:20.014 For fellow sufferers it was comforting to see. 19:30.061 --> 19:31.021 and sensitive. 19:31.821 --> 19:36.682 And if I was gay, I would. 19:39.103 --> 19:39.763 Steven! 19:39.843 --> 19:43.264 Let's go! 19:43.724 --> 19:47.344 He's an author and a playwright and a lovely telly host. 19:48.185 --> 19:51.065 He's made QI into a massive success. 19:51.145 --> 19:54.066 Oh, Alan, did sell some credit also. 20:10.082 --> 20:14.740 A little bit roughs like Peter's friends in two and Spice World. 20:21.351 --> 20:24.212 There you go, that's my Stephen Fry song. 20:24.232 --> 20:25.392 Wow, that's very good. 20:25.432 --> 20:27.553 The Newman impression is extraordinary there. 20:27.633 --> 20:28.754 How are you doing that? 20:28.814 --> 20:31.275 It's like sort of taking a mistimed breath. 20:31.475 --> 20:34.016 Well, you start with Bowie, of course, which is what Newman did. 20:34.076 --> 20:34.956 Right, yes. 20:34.996 --> 20:40.738 Then you start with Bowie, and then you have to go like that, like your voice is breaking every now and again. 20:40.918 --> 20:41.959 At the beginning of each line. 20:42.879 --> 20:44.400 Um, no, at the end of each line. 20:44.420 --> 20:47.321 When you get to, um, I'd like to see you for tea. 20:48.181 --> 20:48.861 Oh, that was good. 20:48.901 --> 20:49.361 That was good. 20:49.381 --> 20:50.322 That was very effective. 20:50.342 --> 20:50.842 Thanks very much. 20:50.862 --> 20:53.063 What an amazing journey through Fry's life there. 20:53.203 --> 20:53.943 Yeah. 20:54.503 --> 20:56.544 I skip, you know, I, there's so much that he's done. 20:56.564 --> 20:56.964 I know. 20:57.004 --> 20:58.565 I mean, he's a massive polymath. 20:58.745 --> 20:59.985 Look at the size of that polymath. 21:00.525 --> 21:04.247 And I didn't get to include Blackadder and Harry Potter and all those other. 21:04.787 --> 21:06.127 Hoping to get out of that. 21:06.267 --> 21:12.229 Because one of the deliberate purposes of this song was to try and inveigle ourselves somehow into the universe of these people. 21:12.289 --> 21:13.829 To the favours of the great. 21:14.290 --> 21:15.830 Well, it's a two-pronged attack. 21:15.870 --> 21:16.070 Yeah. 21:16.450 --> 21:18.991 You know, I could go for a response from Fry. 21:19.011 --> 21:19.651 Himself. 21:19.671 --> 21:20.531 That would be amazing. 21:20.671 --> 21:20.951 Right. 21:21.111 --> 21:21.331 Right. 21:22.192 --> 21:23.152 Or, humanoid. 21:23.832 --> 21:24.473 Oh, the Newman. 21:24.553 --> 21:26.935 If Newman liked the Newman impression, right? 21:27.135 --> 21:29.236 What about getting played on QI? 21:29.877 --> 21:30.777 That's not gonna happen, is it? 21:30.797 --> 21:32.659 You think that's just shooting too hard? 21:32.679 --> 21:41.185 Yeah, one of the good things about QI is that it's sort of cultural barriers are very high, like they wouldn't let jerks like us on the program for a start, you know what I mean? 21:41.566 --> 21:42.586 True. 21:42.867 --> 21:44.788 So why would they start playing stuff like that? 21:44.828 --> 21:47.670 Plus, I don't think Stephen Fry would actually like that kind of thing. 21:47.710 --> 21:49.572 He's the kind of person that only really listens. 21:49.912 --> 21:50.713 It might embarrass him. 21:50.893 --> 21:51.793 It would embarrass him. 21:52.854 --> 21:58.878 Adverse criticism sticks in his head, and kind things that people say about him, or obsequious things, he pushes them aside. 21:58.898 --> 22:00.439 Well, let's see what happens. 22:00.459 --> 22:03.201 We've released that song into the castle environs. 22:03.241 --> 22:03.461 Yeah. 22:03.741 --> 22:06.123 Maybe it'll scuttle into Fry's Chambers. 22:06.323 --> 22:06.583 Uh-huh. 22:06.963 --> 22:07.624 That would be amazing. 22:07.864 --> 22:08.704 So tell us about Lumley. 22:09.044 --> 22:22.553 Well my song is a tribute to Joanna Lumley and specifically this documentary she did where she fulfilled her childhood ambition of going to see the Northern Lights and it was profoundly moving and she saw these lights which are very evasive. 22:22.573 --> 22:30.818 You know you can't tell whether they're going to appear or where they're going to appear or whether there'll be cloud cover and the crew got some of the most amazing footage of the Northern Lights ever. 22:31.038 --> 22:32.018 The Johnny Borealis. 22:32.379 --> 22:32.679 Yeah. 22:33.319 --> 22:35.321 So I've tried to capture that really 22:36.421 --> 22:38.723 So this is my song, it's called La La La Lumbly. 22:39.604 --> 22:43.928 For 55 years of my life, I've dreamt about seeing the Northern Lights. 22:44.308 --> 22:46.850 She was born in Kashmir in 1946. 22:46.950 --> 22:51.754 Her father was a major in the gurgler rifles. 22:52.335 --> 22:55.237 When she was a little girl, she had a picture book. 22:55.918 --> 23:00.562 With a drawing of the Northern Lights, she wished she'd one day see that sight. 23:00.642 --> 23:03.405 She had guide Ferrada, but she did not get in. 23:04.105 --> 23:31.645 They said she'd never be a model too ugly and nothing But she ignored the scorn they poured, confounded her detractors Five years later, she was Britain's most in-demand model and actress La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la 23:32.205 --> 23:40.889 But in her mind she could still find her unspoken ambition To see the northern lights before she died was still her mission La la la 23:50.252 --> 24:11.541 La-la-la, la-la-la, lovely, lovely Through absolutely fabulous two marriages, a son And even though it feels as though her life has just begun She journeys over arctic drifts and through the cold and wild And sees the light she's dreamed of seeing since she was a child 24:21.245 --> 24:22.526 Thank you. 24:22.546 --> 24:24.448 I think I can die happy now. 24:42.299 --> 24:46.160 I've got to say that was sort of supposed to be a Kings of Convenience style. 24:46.660 --> 24:47.100 That's beautiful. 24:47.120 --> 24:48.261 Sort of a folk track. 24:48.381 --> 24:49.281 Lovely melody there. 24:49.541 --> 24:53.242 Drifted into the arena of the Pet Shop Boys slightly. 24:53.662 --> 24:54.082 No. 24:54.182 --> 24:56.002 Maybe Queens of Convenience, I don't know. 24:56.122 --> 24:56.743 It was nice. 24:57.043 --> 24:59.443 Something about the posh enunciation that was required. 24:59.463 --> 25:00.964 Was that you saying, thank you? 25:01.404 --> 25:02.364 No, that's Joanna. 25:02.724 --> 25:03.624 That's all real. 25:03.744 --> 25:07.045 She looks at the northern lights and they're amazing. 25:07.105 --> 25:07.285 Yeah. 25:07.685 --> 25:09.006 And she's so moved by them. 25:09.106 --> 25:10.286 She just looks up at them and goes, 25:10.726 --> 25:11.487 Thank you. 25:11.507 --> 25:11.567 Wow. 25:12.388 --> 25:13.689 Starts crying and blubbing. 25:13.909 --> 25:16.071 I, you know, if you don't cry at that doco. 25:16.171 --> 25:16.411 Yeah. 25:16.811 --> 25:17.732 You ain't got no heart. 25:18.053 --> 25:19.234 Where can you find that doco? 25:19.334 --> 25:21.716 On the BBC iPlayer, it was certainly there last week. 25:21.736 --> 25:22.977 I don't know how long it'll stay up for. 25:23.097 --> 25:23.317 Right. 25:23.758 --> 25:24.478 Readily available. 25:24.518 --> 25:26.340 So that's the second song, La La La Lumbly. 25:26.380 --> 25:27.501 What's your song called, Adam? 25:27.681 --> 25:28.301 Stephen Fry. 25:28.722 --> 25:29.723 Just called Stephen Fry. 25:29.783 --> 25:29.923 Yeah. 25:30.123 --> 25:35.805 So get your votes in by email, Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 25:36.545 --> 25:38.226 You're not encouraged to text your vote. 25:38.706 --> 25:38.906 No. 25:39.086 --> 25:45.508 We top them up via email during the week and the winner will be announced this time next week. 25:45.628 --> 25:45.968 Exactly. 25:46.008 --> 25:50.490 So if you were listening to this show again and you texted us, the text wouldn't be... A waste of money. 25:50.510 --> 25:51.870 It would be a total waste of money. 25:51.910 --> 25:52.910 A scandalous waste of money. 25:53.010 --> 25:54.811 You know, and the castle would crumble. 25:55.191 --> 25:55.832 No one wants that. 25:55.972 --> 25:59.417 Hey, and you can listen to the songs again on our website after the show. 25:59.457 --> 26:04.143 They'll be stuck up and we'll play them again towards the end of the show, just approaching noon. 26:04.264 --> 26:05.225 Seems unbelievable, doesn't it? 26:05.545 --> 26:06.326 But we're gonna do that. 26:07.027 --> 26:08.229 But first, here's some real music. 26:08.249 --> 26:10.192 This is Laura Veers with Don't Lose Yourself. 26:10.612 --> 26:11.513 That's Laura Veers. 26:11.793 --> 26:12.294 Very nice. 26:12.534 --> 26:13.595 Don't lose yourself. 26:13.615 --> 26:14.916 Have you ever seen Laura Veers? 26:15.256 --> 26:15.496 No. 26:16.037 --> 26:19.259 She looks a little bit specky and superior. 26:19.620 --> 26:19.880 Right. 26:19.940 --> 26:20.861 I like the sound of her. 26:20.881 --> 26:21.741 Do you know what I'm saying? 26:22.382 --> 26:28.007 Like when I was at art school, girls that looked like her were always the conceptualists. 26:28.767 --> 26:33.110 And they would mock me sometimes because my work was too obvious. 26:33.150 --> 26:33.710 Quite right to. 26:33.750 --> 26:34.451 It is too obvious. 26:34.971 --> 26:35.351 Yeah. 26:35.371 --> 26:35.732 Still is. 26:36.032 --> 26:36.512 Thank you very much. 26:36.532 --> 26:37.293 Le sachange. 26:37.713 --> 26:38.093 Ah, wee. 26:38.874 --> 26:39.334 Hey, listen. 26:39.494 --> 26:39.654 Yeah. 26:39.774 --> 26:40.515 Can I say something? 26:40.675 --> 26:41.035 Please do. 26:41.195 --> 26:45.258 There was confusion earlier in the week because our podcast didn't go up. 26:45.318 --> 26:45.558 Oh, yeah. 26:46.338 --> 26:54.904 It usually goes up on... Well, it used to go up on Saturday evening, didn't it, after the show, but because of various disturbances in the castle that you might have read about, 26:55.606 --> 26:59.510 Every podcast is having to be listened to by a robot. 26:59.550 --> 27:00.071 A swear sergeant. 27:00.351 --> 27:01.112 A swear robot. 27:01.292 --> 27:02.133 A filthy robot. 27:02.473 --> 27:03.074 A dirty robot. 27:03.154 --> 27:04.054 A dirty robot. 27:04.074 --> 27:07.338 To check that all the filth and dirt is cleansed from it. 27:07.538 --> 27:08.799 No, you can't say that. 27:08.999 --> 27:10.080 That is disgusting. 27:10.100 --> 27:11.362 That's the dirty robot there. 27:12.062 --> 27:12.903 Kind of thing he says. 27:13.063 --> 27:14.525 No, that's not acceptable. 27:14.705 --> 27:15.866 That is offensive. 27:15.966 --> 27:16.146 Wow. 27:16.166 --> 27:16.867 It's brilliant. 27:17.207 --> 27:18.108 It's like a robot. 27:19.029 --> 27:20.851 Um, so where was this going? 27:21.091 --> 27:23.313 Uh, yeah, no, so it's not going to go up till Wednesday. 27:23.373 --> 27:23.934 No, hello. 27:24.374 --> 27:25.415 Monday evenings now. 27:25.856 --> 27:26.036 Right. 27:26.236 --> 27:26.456 Right. 27:27.037 --> 27:28.058 Or Monday afternoons. 27:28.458 --> 27:29.919 But weirdly, a weird thing happened. 27:29.939 --> 27:32.862 You know, I'm quite obsessed with the iTunes podcast charts. 27:32.922 --> 27:33.142 Sure. 27:33.863 --> 27:39.869 I like to read the reviews and things and check it, our podcast position, and it's usually around the sort of 10, 11, 12, isn't it? 27:39.909 --> 27:40.369 Yeah. 27:40.970 --> 27:45.133 But on Monday, when there was no podcast, it shot up the charts. 27:45.313 --> 27:45.514 Yeah. 27:45.694 --> 27:46.775 It went to number four. 27:47.175 --> 27:47.355 Ooh. 27:47.896 --> 27:50.818 Even though there was nothing there to download, that's the highest it's ever been. 27:52.048 --> 27:52.648 It's very weird. 27:52.688 --> 27:53.609 Someone else noticed this. 27:53.669 --> 27:54.409 In fact, Ash. 27:55.010 --> 27:56.991 Is she our special fan, Ash? 27:57.351 --> 27:57.591 Yeah. 27:57.912 --> 27:58.312 Probably. 27:58.332 --> 27:59.272 She's the keeper of the flame. 27:59.292 --> 27:59.473 Yeah. 27:59.513 --> 28:05.436 She says, Joe often comments on keeping an eye on the iTunes rank, which I also noticed to be around 11 to 13 each week. 28:05.696 --> 28:08.778 What I found interesting was that during one week, there was no podcast available. 28:09.058 --> 28:11.540 Your popularity has shot up to number six in the top 25. 28:13.061 --> 28:17.944 This could explain how Stephen Fry is always near the top when he very rarely releases a podcast. 28:18.544 --> 28:19.665 Stephen Fry and Ricky, you mean? 28:19.765 --> 28:20.626 Or maybe just Stephen Fry. 28:20.646 --> 28:21.647 Well, she's just saying just Stephen Fry. 28:21.667 --> 28:26.272 I never understand how Ricky Gervais stays up there at the top when he's got no new product a lot of the time. 28:26.332 --> 28:28.534 I think it's to do with downloading his back catalogue. 28:28.654 --> 28:28.834 Right. 28:28.854 --> 28:29.975 But those hits still count. 28:30.035 --> 28:32.377 It's just the number of hits, maybe, just the number of inquiries. 28:32.418 --> 28:33.839 Maybe that's why we got up there. 28:33.879 --> 28:36.401 Maybe, because people were panicked and trying to click it multiple times. 28:36.441 --> 28:36.682 Panicking! 28:36.702 --> 28:37.042 Panicking! 28:37.082 --> 28:38.363 Let's not do a podcast! 28:38.403 --> 28:39.965 That's the answer to everyone's problems. 28:39.985 --> 28:41.206 We'll be at the top of the charts. 28:41.226 --> 28:42.868 It'll be a better podcast as well, probably. 28:43.342 --> 28:44.643 Here's a free play for you listeners. 29:00.090 --> 29:03.632 Just like you don't like every old-tempered, short, hairy man with a guitar and a problem. 29:03.772 --> 29:04.112 Oh, I do. 29:04.152 --> 29:04.353 Hey! 29:04.573 --> 29:04.753 I do. 29:04.773 --> 29:05.693 Oh, mud-slinging. 29:05.713 --> 29:05.993 You do. 29:06.154 --> 29:06.674 I do, though. 29:06.714 --> 29:07.214 I really do. 29:07.954 --> 29:10.836 No, I like Green Gart's side in Small Doses. 29:10.936 --> 29:11.216 Right. 29:11.256 --> 29:12.877 He's the lead singer of Scrittipoliti. 29:13.497 --> 29:15.218 And, well, he's sort of the man, isn't he? 29:15.359 --> 29:16.879 Scrittipoliti is Green Gart's side. 29:17.139 --> 29:19.481 Although, when they started out, they were a very different proposition. 29:19.521 --> 29:22.402 They were like sort of agitprop, very angular. 29:22.422 --> 29:25.224 Have you ever heard Skank Block Bologna by Scrittipoliti? 29:25.244 --> 29:25.464 No. 29:25.644 --> 29:27.805 That's an amazingly weird song. 29:27.825 --> 29:28.886 We should play it one day on this. 29:29.346 --> 29:29.486 show. 29:29.506 --> 29:35.534 But this is from the other end of his career, from his album, White Bread Black Beer, which came out a couple of years ago. 29:36.215 --> 29:37.737 And it's very much soft boy music. 29:37.777 --> 29:43.845 And he's got the, he's got his crazy harmonies, you know, he's got like a very specific way of doing harmonies. 29:43.865 --> 29:45.748 Amazing vocal acrobatics always go on. 29:45.928 --> 29:54.412 So he does, he has a couple of little bits of harmony action going, uh, bookending this, this very weedy track, which is nice, like weedy in a good way, I think. 29:54.512 --> 29:57.514 He was one of the great 80s weeds, wouldn't you say? 29:57.534 --> 29:57.654 He was. 29:58.014 --> 30:02.196 You could have a whole gang of 80s weeds, like you'd have the man from The Associates as well. 30:02.456 --> 30:03.637 Sure, yeah, Billy McKenzie. 30:03.757 --> 30:05.299 Yeah, what other great weeds were there? 30:05.319 --> 30:07.261 You'd have Marilyn and Boy George, obviously. 30:07.441 --> 30:08.622 Oh, Edwin Collins as well. 30:08.662 --> 30:09.383 He was very faint. 30:09.403 --> 30:09.924 Was he weedy? 30:09.944 --> 30:11.105 Yeah, but no, but he was rough. 30:11.145 --> 30:14.088 The postcard records, like that was, uh, now that was more punky. 30:14.509 --> 30:14.969 Not really. 30:14.989 --> 30:15.910 He was a big weed. 30:16.331 --> 30:16.851 Do you think? 30:16.891 --> 30:17.852 Yeah, he was a giant weed. 30:17.892 --> 30:19.134 The music wasn't that weedy. 30:19.274 --> 30:19.854 No, it was great. 30:20.175 --> 30:22.297 But, uh, I'm not like... I think he's not effeminate enough. 30:22.317 --> 30:23.839 This is not weedy in a pejorative sense. 30:23.859 --> 30:24.559 This is a we in a light. 30:24.579 --> 30:25.801 Well, it is when I'm talking about it. 30:26.562 --> 30:27.682 Cornish is going to duff you up. 30:28.163 --> 30:30.825 Well, watch out, Green, because he's coming to get you. 30:30.905 --> 30:34.288 This is called Snow in Sun by Squirtie Politi. 30:51.321 --> 30:51.881 As they did. 30:51.921 --> 30:52.141 Yeah. 30:52.181 --> 30:54.962 They did a... Crouched the end there, mate. 30:55.162 --> 30:56.843 Cover of Ace of Spades. 30:57.123 --> 31:02.525 But they did it all like... It's sort of like a country... Country and western... It's very funny. 31:02.565 --> 31:08.907 And they're called Hacey Dixie, which is like... And if you say it fast, it sounds like ACDC. 31:09.147 --> 31:09.247 Oh. 31:09.507 --> 31:09.967 Do you see it? 31:09.987 --> 31:10.467 Do you see it? 31:10.487 --> 31:11.667 So it's double jokes. 31:11.767 --> 31:15.269 In fact, it's triple jokes when you get to the way they play the song. 31:15.289 --> 31:16.569 Anyway, I've got to go now. 31:16.929 --> 31:17.089 Yeah. 31:17.349 --> 31:21.072 Also, well, I might run into you, but if I don't. 31:21.332 --> 31:21.972 Have a wicked Christmas. 31:22.012 --> 31:22.693 Have a great life. 31:22.733 --> 31:23.013 Yeah. 31:23.493 --> 31:24.654 Oh God, a great life. 31:24.674 --> 31:25.594 Never going to see you again. 31:25.614 --> 31:25.734 Yeah. 31:25.794 --> 31:28.176 Well, you never know, but it's been great talking to you. 31:28.536 --> 31:28.816 Yeah. 31:29.136 --> 31:29.577 Bye-bye. 31:29.777 --> 31:30.077 Bye. 31:30.097 --> 31:30.397 Bye. 31:30.657 --> 31:31.698 Oh, do you really have to go? 31:31.718 --> 31:31.958 Yeah. 31:32.098 --> 31:32.358 Bye. 31:32.498 --> 31:33.399 I've got some jelly. 31:33.879 --> 31:34.139 No. 31:34.880 --> 31:35.460 What flavour? 31:36.401 --> 31:36.901 Oh gosh. 31:37.221 --> 31:38.242 Listen, strawberry. 31:39.823 --> 31:40.263 Delicious. 31:40.423 --> 31:40.964 Delicious. 31:40.984 --> 31:41.604 Would you like it? 31:41.852 --> 31:42.012 Yes. 31:42.292 --> 31:43.233 You were going to move on there. 31:43.253 --> 31:43.453 I was. 31:43.493 --> 31:44.933 And I tempted you back with the jelly. 31:45.493 --> 31:46.534 Steven News Time now. 31:46.594 --> 31:48.555 Listeners, this is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music. 31:49.435 --> 31:52.596 If you don't know what the deal with this Steven business is... You know what I'm going to do? 31:53.076 --> 31:55.897 I've clipped out the original Steven stuff, right? 31:56.057 --> 31:56.698 Oh, well done. 31:56.718 --> 31:58.618 And we're going to put it up on the website this weekend. 31:58.958 --> 32:05.701 So although I can't say to people that they can go to the website right now... They can, because I think the original clip is there on YouTube. 32:06.321 --> 32:06.842 Right, right. 32:06.882 --> 32:07.022 Yeah. 32:07.142 --> 32:18.315 So you can check out the clip on YouTube, but if you're doing listen, if you're listening to this show again during the week, you can go to the Six Music website and you'll be able to find the original Stephen clip. 32:18.355 --> 32:18.595 Yeah. 32:18.755 --> 32:20.137 Which will explain what we're talking about. 32:20.157 --> 32:20.698 I think it's there already. 32:21.218 --> 32:21.758 No, it isn't. 32:22.138 --> 32:22.819 On the website? 32:22.839 --> 32:23.759 It is, yeah, it is. 32:23.939 --> 32:26.420 But maybe not as beautifully edited as you have edited. 32:26.580 --> 32:27.261 How is it on there? 32:27.281 --> 32:27.941 Is it like the whole podcast? 32:27.961 --> 32:30.822 Because someone else, a listener, put it up on YouTube and I gave Claire the link. 32:31.162 --> 32:32.203 She put it up last week. 32:32.443 --> 32:33.583 Yeah, but that's YouTube. 32:34.043 --> 32:35.104 Yeah, but it's on the site. 32:35.204 --> 32:36.064 Okay, okay. 32:36.364 --> 32:40.006 I wish you'd told me about this before I started speaking and you look like a complete idiot! 32:40.026 --> 32:40.306 Sorry! 32:41.710 --> 32:42.070 Thanks. 32:42.130 --> 32:42.551 Is that it? 32:42.971 --> 32:43.232 Yes. 32:43.252 --> 32:45.374 If I just nullified, I've negated your whole spiel. 32:45.394 --> 32:46.735 I was doing it this morning. 32:46.775 --> 32:48.297 I was clipping it out and everything. 32:48.317 --> 32:48.557 Sorry, man. 32:48.577 --> 32:49.638 You should visit our site. 32:49.678 --> 32:50.619 You should go and check it out. 32:50.639 --> 32:51.780 I want to visit the site. 32:51.800 --> 32:52.981 I never want to visit the site. 32:53.001 --> 32:56.825 But the idea is, you're supposed to shout, Steven. 32:57.286 --> 33:03.792 And then if another listener to the show hears you shouting, Steven, you reply, just coming or coming. 33:04.052 --> 33:04.192 Yeah. 33:05.253 --> 33:08.736 Now it happened to me in a shop, the same shop as it happened to you. 33:09.056 --> 33:09.717 Cinema store. 33:09.757 --> 33:12.499 We shouldn't mention it too much otherwise it's advertising for them. 33:12.679 --> 33:12.919 Right. 33:13.039 --> 33:14.981 But I was browsing through tittles in there. 33:15.181 --> 33:16.742 Other cinema stores were available. 33:17.703 --> 33:27.189 And a young shaggy haired young man with a couple of friends came in and as he left the shop with his with his back to me going up the stairs, he said, Steven! 33:28.070 --> 33:29.191 And I was confused. 33:29.251 --> 33:30.192 I didn't know what to do. 33:30.272 --> 33:32.134 I thought his friend might be called Steven. 33:32.514 --> 33:33.174 I looked around. 33:33.194 --> 33:35.737 No one was looking at me expectantly or anything. 33:36.257 --> 33:37.218 So I didn't say anything. 33:37.258 --> 33:38.519 You didn't give him that just coming. 33:38.599 --> 33:39.500 I said nothing. 33:39.540 --> 33:40.120 Denied. 33:40.140 --> 33:41.742 I just carried on browsing. 33:42.102 --> 33:49.388 But then he disappeared up the stairs and it was too late to say it and I felt ashamed and my girlfriend looked embarrassed by me that I'd let. 33:49.648 --> 33:50.629 our supporters down. 33:50.649 --> 33:53.870 This is after you read out that email from the guy at my show the other day. 33:53.890 --> 33:58.133 I just felt lost and hopeless and that I'd let the guy down, let the side down. 33:59.173 --> 34:01.114 But it is a bit of an albatross now, isn't it? 34:01.174 --> 34:02.675 I mean, it's the first time it's happened to me. 34:02.695 --> 34:03.956 It's hardly an albatross. 34:03.976 --> 34:06.137 It's a tiny albatross. 34:06.177 --> 34:08.118 A very, very small albatross. 34:09.299 --> 34:10.359 An albatross fetus. 34:10.479 --> 34:11.320 It's a little mine. 34:11.380 --> 34:12.180 That's revolting. 34:12.381 --> 34:13.581 There's nothing revolting about that. 34:13.621 --> 34:14.101 It's nature. 34:14.242 --> 34:15.842 About an albatross fetus hanging around your neck. 34:16.163 --> 34:16.643 It's nature. 34:18.084 --> 34:20.487 That's why God created albatross. 34:21.268 --> 34:22.269 The fetus necklaces. 34:23.391 --> 34:24.832 You can get them in Camden. 34:26.094 --> 34:27.355 Anyway, that's the end of my story. 34:27.395 --> 34:33.483 I just felt bereft and if that young man is listening at the moment, he had sort of a brown bowl. 34:33.903 --> 34:34.083 Yeah. 34:34.323 --> 34:46.048 Of hair that it was quite long and he was trying to buy the Dark Knight and he'd spotted a copy but he picked it up and he saw that it was region one and he couldn't play it on his machine and he went and put it back on the shelf. 34:46.108 --> 34:46.949 Not missing anything. 34:47.289 --> 34:48.289 Missing a miserable night. 34:48.309 --> 34:49.930 Missing the film of the century. 34:51.191 --> 34:56.473 So I've got a couple of Steven clips for you from a film I was watching this week and you have to guess what it is. 34:57.373 --> 34:58.474 Here's the first one right now. 35:06.267 --> 35:07.868 Oh, look, I'm sorry, Ingrid. 35:09.168 --> 35:10.169 Oh, you're still there. 35:10.729 --> 35:11.730 It sounds exciting. 35:11.750 --> 35:12.670 What's that film about? 35:13.330 --> 35:14.071 Can you guess who that is? 35:14.091 --> 35:16.152 I have no idea, but we should let the listeners guess, right? 35:16.172 --> 35:17.352 This isn't a competition, no. 35:17.492 --> 35:18.373 It's just a fun game. 35:18.393 --> 35:19.013 Just a fun game. 35:19.053 --> 35:19.773 Just a bit of fun. 35:19.793 --> 35:19.953 Have fun. 35:19.973 --> 35:22.214 Because everyone knows that competitions are evil! 35:22.995 --> 35:28.797 So we don't do them here at the Big British Castle, nor should you, if you're thinking of doing a competition at home, stop it! 35:29.378 --> 35:31.038 Here's another little clip there from this film. 35:31.058 --> 35:31.919 Is this from a different film? 35:31.979 --> 35:33.139 No, this is from the same film. 35:33.440 --> 35:33.640 Well... 35:38.486 --> 35:50.958 sounds like a very good film yeah no the first clip I'll just play you again quickly so listeners have a good listen yes 35:54.253 --> 35:55.834 Oh, look, I'm sorry, Ingrid. 35:56.375 --> 35:57.635 That's a very loud phone. 35:57.815 --> 36:00.277 You can hear everything the person on the other end says. 36:00.337 --> 36:02.158 Yeah, he's got his old-school ringer on there. 36:02.959 --> 36:07.022 You might be able to get it from the voice of the actor there at the end, possibly. 36:07.042 --> 36:07.242 I cannot. 36:07.582 --> 36:08.202 Can you not get it? 36:08.483 --> 36:08.683 No. 36:09.063 --> 36:10.904 Okay, listeners, get thinking. 36:11.324 --> 36:13.786 Let us know if you know which film that is. 36:14.206 --> 36:19.450 Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk is the 36:19.870 --> 36:22.571 email address, or you can text us on 64046. 36:24.371 --> 36:28.812 Interestingly, we've had a couple of emails in from people who've experienced the same Steven shout. 36:29.213 --> 36:36.034 People are trying this experiment during gigs, even though we're encouraging them to do it between songs, not during songs. 36:36.454 --> 36:38.095 This is an email from Miharu, 36:38.835 --> 36:41.276 who says, I went to see Ben Folds on Sunday. 36:41.656 --> 36:47.257 And being the slightly obsessed fan that I am, my heart was beating slightly faster at the prospect of continuing the Stephen shouting at gigs. 36:47.857 --> 36:54.158 However, as I was standing waiting for the main actor to come on, being on the slightly cowardly side of average, I started to think about chickening out. 36:54.578 --> 37:02.400 Imagine my utter joy when, just before Folds arrived on stage, I heard a strong, affirmative, Stephen, from the back of the audience. 37:02.740 --> 37:06.261 I immediately flung my head back and shouted back, just coming! 37:06.681 --> 37:07.462 Maybe not like that. 37:07.962 --> 37:11.866 Shh, this was responded to by a series of whoops and general giggles all round. 37:12.206 --> 37:13.447 What lovely camaraderie. 37:13.648 --> 37:15.790 Hey hey, Ben Folds, that's good. 37:15.890 --> 37:17.891 And then somebody else at the same gig, Chris. 37:18.652 --> 37:22.516 I heard a great Stephen with a few responses from the crowd at the Ben Folds gig on Sunday night. 37:23.116 --> 37:28.582 I hope Ben Folds would become confused and spontaneously start playing his song Stephen's Last Night in Town. 37:29.122 --> 37:30.884 But unfortunately he wasn't on the stage yet. 37:31.144 --> 37:33.406 So that's I think our most successful Stephen so far. 37:33.426 --> 37:36.509 That's a good result, especially from a weed like Ben Folds. 37:36.569 --> 37:37.710 He would be in the weed gang, wouldn't he? 37:38.091 --> 37:38.571 I don't know. 37:38.791 --> 37:41.274 My weeds need to have long hair and be wearing dresses. 37:41.494 --> 37:41.975 Right, OK. 37:42.095 --> 37:42.375 Fair enough. 37:43.174 --> 37:44.434 Here's a bit of music for you now. 37:44.774 --> 37:45.594 This is Calise. 37:45.915 --> 37:47.315 Is this new Calise or old Calise? 37:47.335 --> 37:48.675 Nah, this is Millionaire, isn't it? 37:48.715 --> 37:49.475 Classic Calise. 37:49.595 --> 37:52.036 Yeah, this is classic with the Andre 3000. 37:52.476 --> 37:52.856 Here we go. 37:52.876 --> 37:54.416 I've never heard that before. 37:54.456 --> 37:54.896 You're kidding. 37:54.936 --> 37:56.577 We've played it on this show loads of times. 37:56.777 --> 37:57.817 Maybe I went out for a whistle. 37:57.837 --> 37:58.477 It's fantastic. 37:58.497 --> 37:59.737 It's got a lovely video. 38:00.037 --> 38:00.697 Very good though. 38:01.057 --> 38:02.178 Calise with Millionaire. 38:02.198 --> 38:04.538 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC 6 Music. 38:04.758 --> 38:08.359 Now we've had some guesses in for the non-competitive competition. 38:09.099 --> 38:10.140 Oh, it's not a competition. 38:10.240 --> 38:11.602 It's not a competition. 38:11.622 --> 38:14.985 It's a fun game that we're playing with the clips, the Steven clips. 38:15.005 --> 38:15.786 Shall we hear them again? 38:16.066 --> 38:17.127 Just hear the first one again. 38:25.024 --> 38:26.524 Oh, look, I'm sorry, Ingrid. 38:27.205 --> 38:40.407 And just to remind listeners that, you know, because of the whole Stephen thing, which you can find out more about on the website, we're just collecting the odd mentions of Stevens in movies, you know, if you find any, then do make an MP3 clip of them and send them along. 38:40.627 --> 38:44.328 But that was one that I came across this week, and a few people think they know what it is. 38:45.168 --> 38:48.369 Julia says, is it Steve McQueen in the Thomas Crown affair? 38:49.190 --> 38:49.350 No. 38:50.731 --> 38:51.351 That's insane. 38:51.451 --> 38:52.692 I don't know how you would have got that. 38:53.812 --> 38:57.554 Also, like, why would, is he called, is the character in the Thomas Crown Affair called Stephen? 38:57.614 --> 38:58.094 Don't remember. 38:58.415 --> 38:59.015 I don't know. 38:59.095 --> 38:59.775 I don't think so. 38:59.835 --> 39:05.358 Anyway, it sounds like Paul Bettany in Woffdy Rom Com 3, says Mike. 39:06.859 --> 39:09.840 That's not an actual Paul Bettany film, although I'd like to see it. 39:09.940 --> 39:13.442 Woffdy Rom Com 3 would do very well, I think, this Christmas. 39:13.682 --> 39:15.383 It would beat Four Christmases, I think. 39:15.848 --> 39:16.368 Don't you reckon? 39:16.668 --> 39:17.069 I reckon. 39:17.289 --> 39:18.229 Wofte rom com 3. 39:19.010 --> 39:19.610 Who is it though? 39:20.090 --> 39:20.610 It is. 39:21.031 --> 39:25.653 Neil and Crouch End has got this one and also a man in Swindon, he calls himself. 39:26.133 --> 39:30.595 He is correct in saying that it is Jeremy Irons in damage. 39:31.055 --> 39:32.096 In Louis Malle's damage? 39:32.216 --> 39:34.677 In Louis Malle's, was that Louis Malle's last film? 39:34.877 --> 39:36.598 Louis Malle's last film is what I mean. 39:36.978 --> 39:38.279 Louis Malle's last film. 39:38.439 --> 39:39.319 I think it may have been. 39:39.419 --> 39:39.760 Was it? 39:40.480 --> 39:44.082 They always go out with a weird psychosexual film like The Greats, don't they? 39:44.102 --> 39:46.963 It's got lots of very torrid lovemaking in it damage. 39:47.283 --> 39:48.744 Yeah, torrid stroke ludicrous. 39:48.804 --> 39:52.226 Lots of desk polishing and legs in weird positions. 39:52.466 --> 39:52.686 Yeah. 39:54.187 --> 40:02.211 Who, of course, the other one who went out with a crazy psychosexual film was, um, your man, uh, Kubrick. 40:02.831 --> 40:03.451 Stan the man. 40:03.572 --> 40:03.852 Yeah. 40:03.912 --> 40:04.092 Yep. 40:04.252 --> 40:04.832 Eyes wide shut. 40:04.952 --> 40:09.655 They get to a certain age, they run out of ideas, they think, you know, I'll scrape the sexy barrel. 40:10.236 --> 40:10.596 Why not? 40:10.676 --> 40:11.557 Have a little sexy fun. 40:12.017 --> 40:13.178 Those were some good Stevens though. 40:13.618 --> 40:14.499 Very good Stevens. 40:15.239 --> 40:16.800 Maybe we'll have some more of those next week. 40:16.840 --> 40:19.101 Thank you very much for texting and emailing all of you. 40:19.482 --> 40:20.382 Congratulations. 40:21.163 --> 40:24.745 Neil and Crouch End, you have won absolutely nothing. 40:25.385 --> 40:25.866 Rightly so. 40:26.186 --> 40:26.686 Rightly so. 40:26.726 --> 40:29.508 It's not about the winning, it's about the taking part. 40:29.688 --> 40:30.949 Now you've got a free play for us, Joe. 40:31.109 --> 40:32.851 Yeah, this is, uh, some hippity hoppity. 40:32.891 --> 40:36.555 This is someone called... Baja... I don't know how to say the name. 40:36.675 --> 40:37.576 Where'd you find him? 40:37.616 --> 40:38.197 Baja Madia. 40:38.577 --> 40:39.518 Baja Madia? 40:39.598 --> 40:40.539 It's a she, I think. 40:40.619 --> 40:40.819 Uh-huh. 40:41.200 --> 40:47.326 She was produced, um... It's an album I've got on my iTunes that I'd sort of never bothered to listen to properly. 40:47.487 --> 40:47.707 Okay. 40:47.847 --> 40:50.107 Do you have anything like that on your MP3 player? 40:50.147 --> 40:50.768 Where did you get it? 40:50.808 --> 40:51.748 Did you get it off a main or something? 40:51.768 --> 40:53.068 I can't even remember where I got it. 40:53.768 --> 40:56.609 I cannot remember, but I suddenly discovered it when I was flicking through. 40:57.009 --> 40:57.629 And guess what? 40:57.749 --> 40:58.789 It turns out to be wicked. 40:58.869 --> 41:01.329 It wasn't suggested by the Genius Bar. 41:01.389 --> 41:05.550 No, I haven't updated my iTunes. 41:05.570 --> 41:06.470 I refuse to update it. 41:06.730 --> 41:08.031 Especially not with the Genius Bar. 41:08.051 --> 41:09.371 And that's just like Last FM, isn't it? 41:09.391 --> 41:11.851 It just tells you similar sounding music, right? 41:12.031 --> 41:12.331 Yeah. 41:12.511 --> 41:14.432 If you like these, you might enjoy them. 41:14.512 --> 41:15.172 You hate it! 41:15.832 --> 41:17.633 I hate that genius button! 41:17.733 --> 41:19.073 Do you hate it more than Scrappy-Doo? 41:19.353 --> 41:23.034 I HATE Scrappy-Doo and I HATE the genius button! 41:23.274 --> 41:29.516 Anyway, this is from an album called Collage that was released in 1996 and she was produced by Guru and Premiere from Gangstar. 41:29.796 --> 41:30.576 It's exciting, isn't it? 41:30.596 --> 41:31.256 You love Gangstar. 41:31.276 --> 41:32.336 This is called Wordplay. 41:32.656 --> 41:35.497 Text-a-nation! 41:35.537 --> 41:36.637 Text, text, text! 41:36.717 --> 41:37.458 Text-a-nation! 41:37.518 --> 41:38.478 What if I don't want to? 41:38.738 --> 41:39.458 Text-a-nation! 41:39.538 --> 41:40.538 But I'm using email. 41:40.718 --> 41:41.439 Is that a problem? 41:41.479 --> 41:42.319 It doesn't matter, text! 41:44.693 --> 41:52.278 Text the nation, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for us to talk about a thing and then ask you to send in your thoughts there on. 41:52.578 --> 41:52.798 Yeah. 41:53.118 --> 41:54.119 It's nearly Christmas. 41:54.639 --> 41:54.919 Is it? 41:55.079 --> 41:56.500 Yeah, it's very nearly Christmas. 41:56.700 --> 41:57.000 What is it? 41:57.321 --> 41:58.021 Three weeks now? 41:58.321 --> 41:59.002 Something like that. 41:59.542 --> 42:01.103 Less than three weeks, maybe two and a half weeks. 42:01.863 --> 42:17.157 next weekend no it's the weekend after that is our Christmas show right which has been pre-recorded 20th yeah and yeah that's a good one to look forward to but I want to introduce a Christmasy theme into text the nation this week right and talk about 42:18.117 --> 42:26.343 Christmas presents, specifically the most rubbish Christmas presents that you've ever got for one reason or another, and maybe homemade Christmas presents as well. 42:26.843 --> 42:33.227 Because the older I get, the more I find it's impossible to buy good presents for people, do you know what I mean? 42:33.748 --> 42:38.291 And around this time of year, like a few weeks before Christmas, this is when you should really start getting your present. 42:39.171 --> 42:40.552 buying in order, right? 42:40.852 --> 42:42.854 Plus no one's got any money this year, right? 42:42.894 --> 42:43.734 Credit crunch Christmas. 42:44.095 --> 42:46.036 Credit crisis is not just a crunch. 42:46.236 --> 42:47.397 Actually, the crunch is over, isn't it? 42:47.417 --> 42:50.219 The crunch is a mere dalliance. 42:50.599 --> 42:51.840 Now it's the crisis. 42:52.881 --> 42:54.562 People are being fired left, right and centre. 42:54.602 --> 42:55.562 Woolies is collapsing. 42:55.602 --> 42:57.284 That's the Christmas present nexus. 42:57.984 --> 42:59.145 Is it really collapsing? 42:59.325 --> 42:59.645 Yeah. 42:59.805 --> 43:00.485 Oh my gosh. 43:00.625 --> 43:05.067 So people have got to think of inventive ways, homemade things to give people. 43:05.287 --> 43:05.528 Right. 43:05.728 --> 43:08.289 It's always been the sort of hallmark of cruddiness, hasn't it? 43:08.369 --> 43:11.410 Especially in the 80s and 90s when we were hog happy. 43:12.931 --> 43:16.193 Everyone thought, you know, you don't give someone a homemade present, that's rubbish. 43:16.273 --> 43:16.453 Yeah. 43:17.393 --> 43:19.733 Uh, but now, it's become the done thing. 43:19.833 --> 43:23.654 It's a good way to go, because you can avoid all sorts of hassle, right? 43:23.894 --> 43:29.995 I mean, as we were coming into work this morning, they were setting up all kinds of things with bits of scaffolding in Oxford Street. 43:30.355 --> 43:42.477 I don't know if there's gonna be some kind of stall, maybe they're gonna close the roads there and stop the traffic, or, I don't know, or if maybe they were, I was imagining that they were probably just setting up places where the medics would be, you know what I mean? 43:42.517 --> 43:44.438 Like, to save all the people fainting in a crowd. 43:44.458 --> 43:45.278 Because there's gonna be such a crush. 43:45.538 --> 43:50.342 Yeah, this has got to be one of the busiest weekends of the year, surely, for shopping in London. 43:50.582 --> 43:52.184 So what are we going to ask people to text in? 43:52.464 --> 43:58.509 Well, crappest present that you ever got, stroke, homemade present, or maybe that you gave to someone as well. 43:58.569 --> 44:02.332 So it's crap presents, the absolutely most crappest. 44:02.472 --> 44:03.093 It's all right. 44:03.133 --> 44:04.754 If you're a kid, it's all right, isn't it? 44:04.914 --> 44:06.155 Oh, it's all right any time, I think. 44:06.175 --> 44:06.696 Do you think? 44:06.916 --> 44:10.719 If you're a child, then you can give your parents some kind of clay thing that you've made. 44:10.859 --> 44:11.779 Yeah, that's charming. 44:12.119 --> 44:12.879 Or something like that. 44:12.939 --> 44:16.140 I once gave my dad a hedgehog paper clip. 44:16.280 --> 44:16.960 Last year, was that? 44:17.600 --> 44:20.021 No, it was a few years ago. 44:20.041 --> 44:21.481 It was very nice though. 44:21.501 --> 44:22.221 He's still got it. 44:22.461 --> 44:22.681 Yeah. 44:23.302 --> 44:24.762 I learnt how to make it on Blue Peter. 44:24.962 --> 44:25.422 Did you? 44:25.522 --> 44:25.822 Yeah. 44:26.082 --> 44:28.063 Do they do makes still on Blue Peter? 44:28.083 --> 44:28.803 No, not anymore. 44:29.063 --> 44:30.083 No, you're joking. 44:30.103 --> 44:30.663 They got rid of the makes. 44:30.683 --> 44:32.324 They struck you had a cook up crack. 44:33.244 --> 44:34.584 That's the only make they do on that. 44:34.804 --> 44:35.305 show now. 44:35.665 --> 44:36.647 That's just a bit of humor there. 44:36.687 --> 44:37.508 That's not true, exactly. 44:37.528 --> 44:38.189 That's not true. 44:39.430 --> 44:42.835 My dad used his technique was to write IOUs. 44:43.636 --> 44:44.016 Really? 44:44.397 --> 44:44.797 Yeah. 44:44.837 --> 44:46.159 He would give you an IOU. 44:46.279 --> 44:50.485 Well, no, he would write it out and he would put it in a nice envelope, so it looked exciting. 44:51.145 --> 44:52.946 And that would be for a quantity of money? 44:53.026 --> 44:53.426 No, no. 44:53.506 --> 44:56.808 It would be for things like, I remember one year my sister got driving lessons. 44:57.168 --> 44:58.949 And so my dad wrote a little letter. 44:58.989 --> 45:01.650 He said, I'm going to get you driving lessons. 45:01.930 --> 45:03.071 That's all right. 45:03.211 --> 45:04.031 Did you not ever get one? 45:05.072 --> 45:05.952 Yeah, I think I did. 45:05.972 --> 45:08.933 I can't even remember what mine was for. 45:08.953 --> 45:09.614 I'm not sure I got it. 45:10.114 --> 45:11.895 Sometimes he just gives us stationery. 45:13.176 --> 45:22.984 like a reams of paper, and he'll find like a fruit box or whatever, and he'll put the, like he'll make a sort of mad gift package, like a gift hamper. 45:23.624 --> 45:32.092 So he'll find an old fruit carton from the street or something, and he'll put like some reams of paper in it, a couple of oranges, some batteries. 45:32.752 --> 45:33.132 Wow. 45:33.313 --> 45:35.094 Wrap the whole thing up with newspaper. 45:36.375 --> 45:37.997 And there's your Christmas present. 45:38.777 --> 45:39.538 That's quite good, isn't it? 45:39.558 --> 45:40.599 You must have had some tantrums. 45:41.159 --> 45:46.787 No, we were always quite cool about it because when we were younger, we didn't realize who the presents were coming from. 45:46.827 --> 45:48.369 My mum always used to sort us out. 45:49.070 --> 45:49.570 It was great. 45:49.891 --> 45:51.072 She was on top of the whole thing. 45:51.333 --> 45:59.183 But when it was older and it was clear who was giving what, that's when the gaps in my dad's present giving skills started to show. 46:00.364 --> 46:01.944 So, that's when we got the batteries. 46:02.285 --> 46:05.666 You know, and they're good presents, and he'd always go, useful, it's useful, isn't it? 46:05.867 --> 46:08.288 Because he would be anticipating the disappointment. 46:09.308 --> 46:13.231 His staple present used to be badadass, bath foam. 46:13.251 --> 46:14.691 And that was a good present, right? 46:15.132 --> 46:19.814 But then he, I don't know what, he went off the badadass thing, I think maybe because it's quite expensive. 46:20.314 --> 46:22.176 That's when we started getting paper and batteries. 46:22.196 --> 46:26.358 Do you think it would be okay to give someone a film on DVD that you'd got free in a paper? 46:29.040 --> 46:29.220 No. 46:29.800 --> 46:34.944 Do you think it would be okay, this is an idea I had, to make a homemade box set? 46:35.084 --> 46:38.706 Do you know you go into HMV and you see, for instance, the action pack? 46:39.286 --> 46:43.229 And it'll have a Jack Ryan film, a Bourne film, and maybe an Arnie film. 46:43.409 --> 46:46.912 Just three randomly selected action films, one of which is usually good. 46:47.512 --> 46:51.235 But the other fewer stinkers, you know, they're trying to palm you off with a rough one. 46:51.676 --> 46:55.319 Could I just get some old DVDs off my shelf that I don't watch anymore? 46:55.339 --> 46:56.100 I haven't opened. 46:56.220 --> 46:56.420 Yeah. 46:57.120 --> 47:05.568 Make a kind of box and call it the crap pack with K's all spelt with K's and personalize it like Adam's crap hat. 47:05.788 --> 47:08.631 You're doing little, uh, bits of artwork for the box, right? 47:08.691 --> 47:16.860 Yeah, I'd get into Photoshop and I'd do, I'd print out a property and have a picture of you and a crap pack and it would have explosions behind it and it would have all sorts of copy on it. 47:17.280 --> 47:18.561 You know, do you love crap? 47:19.022 --> 47:20.183 Then this is the pack for you. 47:20.323 --> 47:22.105 Four of the crappiest films ever made. 47:22.626 --> 47:24.007 As selected by Adam Buxton. 47:24.027 --> 47:25.068 That's a good present. 47:25.469 --> 47:26.350 Do you think it's cheap? 47:26.650 --> 47:27.231 I'd love that. 47:27.771 --> 47:32.033 Because the thing is, the outlay of time there and thought. 47:32.093 --> 47:33.194 I can't be bothered to do it. 47:33.574 --> 47:37.856 What you'd actually do is just create the crap pack by picking three DVDs around them. 47:37.876 --> 47:38.236 You know what? 47:38.276 --> 47:39.136 This is the present. 47:40.097 --> 47:40.657 Just the thought. 47:41.037 --> 47:42.318 It's the thought that counts, right? 47:42.398 --> 47:43.979 That was a good present, and I'm thinking about it. 47:44.059 --> 47:44.599 Thanks very much. 47:44.639 --> 47:52.383 So we want to hear your ideas, listeners, for things like crap presents that you've got in a similar style, or maybe crap presents that you've given. 47:52.403 --> 47:53.183 Here's another one. 47:53.663 --> 47:58.967 If you had a pet, what if I gave you that pet but wrapped up in a box? 48:00.188 --> 48:03.130 So then you open it and it's your pet. 48:03.430 --> 48:04.151 It's your own pet. 48:04.171 --> 48:08.774 But the present is you're rescuing it from suffering, from being trapped in the box. 48:09.575 --> 48:09.695 What? 48:09.715 --> 48:10.816 Is that enough for forgiveness? 48:10.836 --> 48:12.137 No, that's completely insane. 48:12.457 --> 48:13.257 It's cheap though. 48:13.678 --> 48:14.698 That's ludicrous. 48:14.718 --> 48:15.379 Do you get my logic? 48:15.539 --> 48:16.159 No, I don't. 48:16.640 --> 48:17.180 It's madness. 48:17.420 --> 48:18.821 What, so you could do it with children? 48:19.442 --> 48:20.362 You wouldn't do it with a child. 48:21.443 --> 48:22.664 Pop the child in a box. 48:22.704 --> 48:23.464 It's the same sort of thing. 48:23.484 --> 48:26.546 It's a way to remind something of the value of something they've already got. 48:26.566 --> 48:27.887 Do you know what I mean? 48:27.927 --> 48:29.608 Just wrap it up and present it to them again. 48:29.628 --> 48:30.269 Yeah. 48:31.129 --> 48:31.970 No, that's madness. 48:32.010 --> 48:32.450 Madness. 48:33.851 --> 48:34.672 I'm going to do it, though. 48:35.492 --> 48:36.353 I'd like to see you do it. 48:36.373 --> 48:37.433 I'd like to hear how it goes. 48:37.934 --> 48:42.737 Now listen, we've got a trail for sports personality of the year coming up now, Joe. 48:43.277 --> 48:44.298 I mean, that's exciting, isn't it? 48:44.438 --> 48:45.098 Who's it going to be? 48:45.218 --> 48:45.899 Bobby Charlton? 48:46.559 --> 48:47.440 Duncan Goodhue. 48:48.020 --> 48:49.641 It could be any of the latest sports stars. 48:49.661 --> 48:50.461 Linford Christie. 48:50.761 --> 48:51.222 Christie. 48:51.762 --> 48:52.522 Mike Tyson. 48:52.622 --> 48:53.803 Martina Navratilova. 48:53.883 --> 48:54.243 Hey. 48:54.303 --> 48:54.924 Hey. 48:55.144 --> 48:56.624 So nearly Queen of the Jungle. 48:56.644 --> 48:57.085 Let's hear it. 48:57.145 --> 48:59.506 That's Archaeologists with Winter Sleep. 48:59.666 --> 49:01.807 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 49:01.907 --> 49:08.611 It's nearly time for the news, but before that, let me tell you that Text the Nation this week is all about the crappest presents that you've ever got, or maybe given people. 49:09.191 --> 49:11.552 Um, maybe even homemade presents, that kind of thing. 49:11.832 --> 49:17.754 Do email us adamandjo.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk or you can text us on 64046. 49:18.714 --> 49:23.796 We'll read out some of those texts and emails sometime in the next half hour, but right now it's time for the news. 49:24.536 --> 49:24.716 Ooh! 49:24.917 --> 49:26.157 That was exciting, wasn't it? 49:26.257 --> 49:27.157 Sexy, exciting. 49:27.197 --> 49:28.098 That was the Kings of Leon. 49:28.138 --> 49:28.958 What was that one called? 49:29.598 --> 49:30.298 Use somebody. 49:30.439 --> 49:30.819 You see? 49:30.839 --> 49:32.600 It works two ways. 49:32.880 --> 49:33.420 He's lonely. 49:33.580 --> 49:35.661 He could use somebody like company. 49:35.821 --> 49:36.781 But he's using them, isn't he? 49:36.801 --> 49:38.022 He might be using them. 49:38.042 --> 49:38.742 He's exploiting them. 49:38.822 --> 49:40.523 Just like David Van Day might. 49:40.843 --> 49:41.984 Confusing double meanings. 49:42.084 --> 49:42.664 Listen, Adam. 49:42.684 --> 49:44.225 This is Adam and Jo on BBC6 Music. 49:44.565 --> 49:48.167 It's an exciting time to tune in if you've just tuned in, because I'm going to give Adam a present. 49:48.887 --> 49:50.148 An early Christmas present. 49:50.428 --> 49:50.648 Wow. 49:51.208 --> 49:53.829 Now this is something I got free in the Guardian. 49:53.929 --> 49:55.250 Is it my son in a box? 49:55.510 --> 49:56.050 It's not. 49:56.150 --> 49:57.791 That's on Christmas Day itself. 49:58.571 --> 50:01.012 But this is something I got in the Guardian. 50:01.032 --> 50:02.173 I forget what day it was. 50:02.973 --> 50:07.215 But just because it's given away free in a paper, don't go thinking it's not really worth having. 50:07.335 --> 50:07.575 Sure. 50:07.595 --> 50:09.296 Because this is an amazing thing. 50:09.636 --> 50:11.537 This is what was on the masthead of the Guardian. 50:11.557 --> 50:11.937 Sometimes the best. 50:11.957 --> 50:13.338 things in life are free. 50:13.558 --> 50:17.622 Wow, it says free gift wrap by Tilda Swinton. 50:17.662 --> 50:18.262 That's right. 50:18.663 --> 50:23.047 Free gift wrap in The Guardian and that's at the very top, above the title of the newspaper even. 50:23.547 --> 50:27.490 And then inside the paper, because it's got your motor running, hasn't it? 50:27.591 --> 50:28.171 It has, yeah. 50:28.191 --> 50:29.532 What could this gift wrap be like? 50:30.213 --> 50:31.274 Here is the gift wrap. 50:31.334 --> 50:33.035 It was folded up inside the paper. 50:33.055 --> 50:35.097 Maybe you could describe it to listeners. 50:35.357 --> 50:36.819 So it's an A3 sheet of newsprint 50:40.021 --> 50:48.769 But it's blank except for a crudely drawn heart in red with some little dashes coming over. 50:48.789 --> 50:49.550 Who drew that? 50:50.071 --> 50:50.691 Swinton. 50:50.791 --> 50:52.233 Tilda Swinton drew it. 50:52.533 --> 50:53.734 And how long do you think it took her? 50:54.555 --> 50:57.017 Well, I would say less than a second. 50:57.678 --> 50:59.119 Less than a second. 50:59.519 --> 51:00.820 But it's Tilda Swinton. 51:00.961 --> 51:01.541 Yeah. 51:02.062 --> 51:03.663 And it's wrapping paper. 51:03.783 --> 51:05.305 So imagine what you could do with that. 51:05.925 --> 51:09.508 You could wrap things in it and then you'd give it to someone and what would happen? 51:09.828 --> 51:12.890 They would say, this wrapping paper is beautiful! 51:13.050 --> 51:13.771 Who designed that? 51:13.791 --> 51:16.192 They'd say, this wrapping paper's rubbish! 51:17.073 --> 51:18.514 What a load of rubbish! 51:18.814 --> 51:22.157 Who's drawn this stupid heart? 51:22.557 --> 51:23.398 They'd discard it. 51:23.758 --> 51:26.380 And then you'd say, hey, don't throw that away, have a closer look at it. 51:27.096 --> 51:28.737 You know what I'm gonna do with this paper? 51:28.857 --> 51:29.057 What? 51:29.878 --> 51:30.678 I'm gonna iron it. 51:31.058 --> 51:31.379 Really? 51:31.439 --> 51:32.920 And then I'm gonna frame it. 51:33.540 --> 51:33.880 Really? 51:33.940 --> 51:36.962 Yeah, in a frame that costs over 50 pounds. 51:37.162 --> 51:40.304 The Guardian, they do a good line in giving free stuff away. 51:40.424 --> 51:46.748 They had a very successful series of wall charts, sort of traditional wall charts that they gave away. 51:47.268 --> 51:48.989 They sometimes give away free books. 51:49.309 --> 51:53.592 But I'd say this is without doubt the stupidest thing the Guardian have ever given away free. 51:53.672 --> 51:54.333 Ooh, look. 51:54.453 --> 51:55.053 Is it for charity? 51:55.073 --> 51:55.914 It's for charity. 51:55.934 --> 51:58.116 Well, that's the last refuge of a scoundrel. 51:58.256 --> 51:58.776 You're evil. 51:58.796 --> 51:59.197 You're evil. 51:59.217 --> 52:02.259 Charity's the most feeble excuse for any kind of idiotic behaviour. 52:02.719 --> 52:07.043 Well done giving the money to charity, but how is that going to raise money for charity? 52:08.164 --> 52:10.085 Um... It's not as if they're charging for it. 52:10.145 --> 52:15.550 Well, no, that you can bid for the original, and their proceeds go to a charity project. 52:15.610 --> 52:17.251 Them and their weaselly charity expenses. 52:17.271 --> 52:21.254 But it's written in very small letters on the back, so you would be forgiven for not seeing it. 52:21.314 --> 52:22.916 How much would you bid for the original of that? 52:24.417 --> 52:28.440 I would bid, um, six pounds. 52:28.640 --> 52:29.461 Six pence? 52:29.801 --> 52:30.221 Pounds. 52:30.262 --> 52:30.622 Pounds. 52:30.702 --> 52:31.563 I'd go as high as pounds. 52:31.583 --> 52:32.003 That's good. 52:32.343 --> 52:34.525 I mean, she's one of the greatest actresses of our generation. 52:34.545 --> 52:35.226 Yeah, but she ain't. 52:35.286 --> 52:36.106 She's no artist. 52:36.967 --> 52:37.728 I don't know. 52:38.248 --> 52:40.330 Look at the way she's drawn the heart, though. 52:41.150 --> 52:41.711 With the pen. 52:42.754 --> 52:42.994 Yeah. 52:43.194 --> 52:45.056 She's like it's curled over in the middle. 52:45.336 --> 52:46.076 That's amazing, man. 52:46.116 --> 52:46.897 Thank you very much. 52:47.317 --> 52:47.858 It's a pleasure. 52:47.878 --> 52:51.800 Now, we're going to read out some of the emails and texts that we've been getting in a little later on. 52:51.840 --> 52:58.245 Just to remind you, we're asking you for some of the crappest presents that you've ever given or got, and we've already got some very good messages coming in. 52:58.565 --> 52:59.505 Please keep them coming in. 53:00.126 --> 53:01.146 Here's a bit of music right now. 53:01.227 --> 53:02.527 Are we really going to play Tom Petty? 53:02.547 --> 53:04.809 Is this new Petty or Vintage Petty? 53:04.949 --> 53:06.049 What's wrong with playing Petty? 53:06.169 --> 53:08.550 I'm not saying, I'm just curious, that's all. 53:09.010 --> 53:11.791 He doesn't seem like a six-music kind of a person. 53:11.971 --> 53:16.152 But maybe that's very ignorant of me and I'm very sorry, Petty fans. 53:16.352 --> 53:17.372 Here comes my girl. 53:17.592 --> 53:18.972 Tom Petty, there. 53:21.113 --> 53:22.673 And here comes my girl. 53:22.693 --> 53:25.874 Do you think Tom Petty wears petticoats? 53:26.494 --> 53:27.734 Yes I do, I think he does. 53:28.434 --> 53:29.375 And he's very petty. 53:29.515 --> 53:30.815 Otherwise he'd get cold, wouldn't he? 53:31.395 --> 53:35.182 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music and we're in the midst of Text the Nation. 53:35.864 --> 53:37.467 Shall we have to jingle Ben? 53:37.847 --> 53:38.148 Why not? 53:50.515 --> 54:01.000 So this week's Text the Nation listeners is crap, credit crunch type Christmas presents, super cheap ways of impressing people with a prezi, or the crappest one you've ever got. 54:01.660 --> 54:04.962 We have to think of one feature a week, don't we, for this show. 54:05.682 --> 54:06.883 And sometimes we struggle. 54:07.583 --> 54:08.643 This is a good feature. 54:09.163 --> 54:10.784 That was what I was building up to say. 54:10.964 --> 54:11.864 No one else would have done this. 54:11.884 --> 54:12.664 We haven't struggled. 54:12.724 --> 54:13.585 No one would have done this. 54:13.605 --> 54:14.005 This is good. 54:14.045 --> 54:14.885 This is Radio Gold. 54:14.905 --> 54:16.325 It's the first time anyone's ever done this. 54:16.345 --> 54:17.546 Baker and Ball wouldn't think of this. 54:17.566 --> 54:18.326 They would never think of this. 54:18.346 --> 54:19.466 They would never think of crap presidents. 54:19.486 --> 54:20.486 They don't think of things anyway. 54:20.506 --> 54:21.507 They have it all written for us. 54:21.567 --> 54:22.727 All written for them by elves. 54:22.747 --> 54:24.207 Not like us. 54:24.367 --> 54:26.748 Here's a text from Samantha. 54:27.148 --> 54:34.010 She says, last year, my dad got me a bag of pegs, like the ones you used to hang clothes on the washing machine. 54:34.050 --> 54:34.670 That's good. 54:35.150 --> 54:36.130 I was 16. 54:36.351 --> 54:37.651 I don't have a washing line. 54:37.691 --> 54:38.871 He's dropping hints, isn't he? 54:40.112 --> 54:43.093 Does she not wash enough, or does she not do enough of the housework? 54:43.133 --> 54:43.693 Maybe. 54:43.993 --> 54:46.194 But Christmas isn't a time to drop a hint like that. 54:46.254 --> 54:46.694 Pegs. 54:48.114 --> 54:49.115 Typical dad thing. 54:49.195 --> 54:50.535 Simon Pegg in a box. 54:50.575 --> 54:51.255 That would be different. 54:51.275 --> 54:52.136 That would be sexy. 54:52.176 --> 54:53.436 But dads do do that. 54:53.456 --> 54:55.637 I mean, they're the main culprits in this whole thing, aren't they? 54:56.037 --> 54:56.997 Dad's doodoo? 54:57.257 --> 54:57.838 Dad's doodoo. 54:57.858 --> 54:58.838 Especially if they're architect. 54:59.498 --> 55:01.760 Listen, here's another one from an anonymous texter. 55:01.800 --> 55:02.580 Hi, Adam and Joe. 55:02.720 --> 55:06.862 I wasn't going to send this in, but I sense any contribution would be welcomed. 55:07.183 --> 55:07.583 Correct. 55:08.043 --> 55:11.425 Me and my stepfather once got matching bum bags off my auntie. 55:12.025 --> 55:12.806 I'll read that again. 55:13.306 --> 55:15.147 Matching bum bags. 55:16.068 --> 55:16.988 No problems there. 55:17.288 --> 55:25.593 But my sister noticed that that specific bum bag had been given away free in a certain ladies' magazine the week before. 55:25.773 --> 55:26.874 Free gift bum bag. 55:27.014 --> 55:27.994 But not two of them, though. 55:28.034 --> 55:30.415 She would have gone out and bought a second copy of the mag. 55:31.076 --> 55:31.776 Bum bag. 55:31.996 --> 55:33.136 That's quite good, though, isn't it? 55:33.356 --> 55:35.677 That is quite—is that—you'd be excited by a bum bag. 55:35.777 --> 55:39.139 I'm impressed that she went and bought a second copy of Spritzer or whatever magazine it was on. 55:39.159 --> 55:39.559 Fanny pack. 55:40.219 --> 55:40.519 Fanny pack. 55:40.539 --> 55:42.280 That's what the Americans call them. 55:42.800 --> 55:45.481 Whichever way you slice it, it's not a well-named garment. 55:45.501 --> 55:48.062 You're not allowed to call it that on the Big British Castle, though. 55:48.122 --> 55:48.282 No. 55:48.302 --> 55:49.643 It would cause all kinds of problems. 55:50.603 --> 55:53.844 That's a nice idea though, because you get purses and things on those mags as well. 55:53.864 --> 55:54.944 You can get some good stuff. 55:54.984 --> 56:00.886 You know Radio Times is giving away a flat screen TV next week, just packaged with the mag. 56:01.126 --> 56:01.646 On the mag. 56:01.786 --> 56:03.146 Slipped between the pages, yeah. 56:03.366 --> 56:03.666 Wow. 56:04.086 --> 56:04.247 Yeah. 56:04.447 --> 56:06.747 That's a really good one of those LCD tellies. 56:06.787 --> 56:06.947 Yeah. 56:07.267 --> 56:08.188 Is that really true? 56:08.368 --> 56:08.588 No. 56:08.788 --> 56:09.688 Okay, just checking. 56:10.728 --> 56:11.389 Uh, here we go. 56:11.409 --> 56:13.310 Here's another, uh, dad one. 56:14.171 --> 56:17.533 This is for... Oh, actually, the end of this text is missing. 56:17.593 --> 56:22.516 It says... It's Greystoke. 56:22.877 --> 56:23.757 Eraser. 56:23.857 --> 56:24.558 Lord Greystoke. 56:24.938 --> 56:25.558 Mirror. 56:25.719 --> 56:27.960 Come down the stairs on your feet, not using that tray. 56:27.980 --> 56:29.661 On the tray! 56:30.022 --> 56:30.562 Like Lady. 56:30.702 --> 56:31.142 Oh, Lady. 56:31.943 --> 56:33.644 A beautiful Andy Mark Tower. 56:33.924 --> 56:34.645 Not real voice. 56:35.645 --> 56:39.268 Uh, Adam is not the only one who gets paper and batteries for Christmas. 56:39.668 --> 56:45.890 Every year, without fail, my dad gets me a pack of printer paper that I know for a fact came from his office. 56:46.491 --> 56:47.451 I get that as well. 56:47.951 --> 56:57.295 I get printer paper, and my dad has taken to giving me, you know, glossy printer paper, which is sort of, that's the expensive end of the paper market. 56:57.595 --> 57:01.516 But we're still talking only about 10 sheets of A4. 57:01.796 --> 57:02.577 Not even a ream. 57:03.778 --> 57:04.719 Not even a D-reem. 57:04.819 --> 57:05.960 No, no, no, it's not even a D-reem. 57:06.140 --> 57:09.984 And I said, sorry, not A4, but postcard size, like a whatever it is. 57:10.004 --> 57:11.145 Right. 57:11.225 --> 57:13.708 And so he gives me that and he goes, hmm, it's glossy. 57:14.509 --> 57:16.171 Like I'm supposed to be really knocked out. 57:16.571 --> 57:16.911 Wow. 57:17.112 --> 57:17.952 I mean, it is useful. 57:17.972 --> 57:19.174 He goes, it's useful, though. 57:19.214 --> 57:19.814 It's bound to be useful. 57:19.834 --> 57:23.498 Sounds like the Panda Pops polar bear. 57:24.019 --> 57:25.681 Who was the polar bear that said it's frothy man? 57:26.481 --> 57:26.861 Oh, yeah. 57:26.881 --> 57:27.742 He's frothy, man. 57:27.762 --> 57:29.043 Wasn't that a Cresta bear? 57:29.063 --> 57:29.883 The Cresta bear. 57:29.923 --> 57:30.323 There you go. 57:30.843 --> 57:31.864 It's glossy, Adam. 57:33.125 --> 57:34.465 But it's glossy, Adam. 57:34.946 --> 57:35.766 Here's one from Marvin. 57:35.786 --> 57:36.466 Hey, it's my turn. 57:36.586 --> 57:37.387 Oh, you have one then. 57:37.627 --> 57:38.227 All right, then. 57:38.247 --> 57:39.308 I haven't got one. 57:39.428 --> 57:40.248 Oh, yeah, I do have one. 57:40.288 --> 57:40.789 I do have one. 57:41.389 --> 57:43.750 Here's one from Shavorn. 57:44.070 --> 57:48.313 My boyfriend once got a toilet roll holder that was made out of an old stick and a bit of wire. 57:48.573 --> 57:51.774 He hadn't even made it, but he bought it off an old hippie. 57:52.335 --> 57:52.755 What? 57:53.135 --> 57:57.540 He also bought himself a clock made out of an old stellar can. 57:58.160 --> 57:59.021 Now that's quite good. 57:59.041 --> 58:00.863 You can turn anything into a clock. 58:01.003 --> 58:01.324 Yes. 58:01.444 --> 58:07.110 All you need to do is take an existing clock, smash it up and just have the hands and the mechanism. 58:07.430 --> 58:09.532 Then punch a hole in literally anything. 58:09.612 --> 58:09.812 Yeah. 58:09.953 --> 58:10.833 A friend's face. 58:11.534 --> 58:13.115 And don't do that. 58:13.535 --> 58:14.735 But it would be funny if you do. 58:14.755 --> 58:15.475 It wouldn't be funny. 58:15.536 --> 58:17.496 Have the hand sticking out of their nose there. 58:17.516 --> 58:23.218 Just make sure you put the mechanism on the inside of whatever it is and the hands on the outside and draw a 12 and a 6. 58:23.658 --> 58:24.499 You don't even have to do that. 58:24.539 --> 58:25.319 You can just do dots. 58:25.599 --> 58:25.799 Yeah. 58:26.199 --> 58:26.700 And bang. 58:26.760 --> 58:28.780 It would be good if you got a celebrity clock. 58:29.000 --> 58:32.602 You could ask Britney Spears to pop the mechanism in her mouth and then the... 58:34.083 --> 58:36.326 And then she wouldn't sing as well, so she wouldn't be able to sing. 58:36.386 --> 58:36.706 Exactly. 58:36.866 --> 58:37.927 It's two birds with one stone. 58:38.248 --> 58:40.030 And then you have the hands popping out of her mouth. 58:40.090 --> 58:44.916 The problem is, when it got to midday, it would stop at her nose, so you'd have to remove Spears' nose. 58:44.956 --> 58:47.539 Yeah, and you'd have to wind it up by putting your hand up her bottom. 58:48.920 --> 58:53.382 We'll be reading out more of your texts and emails on the subject of crap presence very shortly. 58:53.442 --> 58:55.043 Right now, here's a free play for you listeners. 58:55.063 --> 58:56.163 This is a mellow one. 58:56.183 --> 58:59.505 You know, it's nice when you get a bit of a mellow tune, right? 58:59.945 --> 59:05.087 And this is an instrumental track, which I found on a compilation called Fuzzyfelt Folk. 59:05.587 --> 59:07.188 And this is really enjoyable. 59:07.248 --> 59:11.370 It's by Claude Vassori, and it's called Folk Guitar. 59:11.570 --> 59:16.014 You would think that would have been used as a theme tune for a lovely program in the 70s, wouldn't you? 59:16.054 --> 59:17.155 But I don't think it was. 59:17.235 --> 59:18.776 A little stop-motion kiddie thing. 59:18.976 --> 59:20.978 Yeah, Oliver Postgate-type thing. 59:21.158 --> 59:24.020 About some furry animals living by a river. 59:24.701 --> 59:27.123 Exactly, having knife fights, that kind of thing. 59:27.763 --> 59:31.207 That was Claude Vasori with a track called Folk Guitar. 59:31.607 --> 59:33.809 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 59:34.109 --> 59:35.691 We're in the midst of Text the Nation right now. 59:35.751 --> 59:41.977 Should we do a couple more before we play this exciting hub combo mash session? 59:42.617 --> 59:43.038 Okay. 59:44.199 --> 59:46.221 Here's one right now from Marvin. 59:46.261 --> 59:51.105 He says, Hi Adam and Joe, the worst Christmas gift I ever got was a video rewinder. 59:52.626 --> 59:57.927 that my mum said was useful and would make my video last longer. 59:59.188 --> 01:00:01.968 I gave it to her back and told her to get herself a refund. 01:00:02.228 --> 01:00:04.509 Who in the world needs a video rewinder? 01:00:04.629 --> 01:00:13.111 Parents, if there are any parents listening out there today, you need to get it into your thick skulls that Christmas is not about practicality. 01:00:13.171 --> 01:00:13.391 Right. 01:00:13.651 --> 01:00:19.012 It's just about indulgence and stupidity and value, isn't it? 01:00:19.292 --> 01:00:19.552 Yeah. 01:00:19.772 --> 01:00:20.212 Disposability. 01:00:20.252 --> 01:00:20.753 Maximum money. 01:00:21.053 --> 01:00:31.957 When you're a kid, you're just dreaming that you'll get given something amazingly expensive and brilliantly indulgent, like a huge surround sound system, Blu-ray player, and, you know? 01:00:32.137 --> 01:00:35.359 When do you think that urge to receive that kind of thing goes away? 01:00:35.439 --> 01:00:35.699 Never. 01:00:35.939 --> 01:00:38.100 Never, never, never, never, never. 01:00:39.721 --> 01:00:54.590 Yes size is the thing isn't it when you're that age though particularly if you're if you're a child and you're listening to this program with your parents in the same room and I know some families do listen then sick families then there is no excuse 01:00:55.310 --> 01:00:58.213 for not giving your kids something escapist. 01:00:58.433 --> 01:01:03.997 It's tough isn't it, because as a parent you want to invest in something that will maybe last more than a few months. 01:01:04.017 --> 01:01:06.560 Well you don't want your kids to be too materially minded either. 01:01:06.620 --> 01:01:11.864 No, you don't just want to go and spend, because the thing is that actually it's not very expensive to buy something giant. 01:01:11.904 --> 01:01:15.167 You can go and spend 15 quid on a really giant piece of old crap. 01:01:15.587 --> 01:01:15.848 Right. 01:01:15.948 --> 01:01:17.510 And they will probably love it for that moment. 01:01:17.550 --> 01:01:19.712 So you think it's just size, physical size? 01:01:19.772 --> 01:01:21.655 Yeah, yeah, they love the size of this. 01:01:22.095 --> 01:01:25.059 Have you ever been tempted to wrap something small in a giant box? 01:01:25.119 --> 01:01:26.621 That's something people sometimes do. 01:01:26.821 --> 01:01:28.223 Right, yes, exactly. 01:01:28.563 --> 01:01:29.044 That happens a lot. 01:01:29.064 --> 01:01:30.385 To see the look of disappointment. 01:01:30.405 --> 01:01:34.270 Here's an email right now from Selena in El Paso, Texas. 01:01:34.450 --> 01:01:34.671 Yes. 01:01:35.171 --> 01:01:39.893 And she says, A few Christmases ago my cousin played a present prank on his brother. 01:01:40.294 --> 01:01:43.055 He presented his brother with a quite large box. 01:01:43.435 --> 01:01:48.578 Of course, his brother was elated, as usually the bigger the box, the more exciting the gift, right? 01:01:48.878 --> 01:01:58.983 He opened the box to find a slightly smaller box, which he opened to find a bit of that packaging popcorn. 01:01:59.303 --> 01:02:01.024 Right, so she's talking about the pop stuff. 01:02:01.084 --> 01:02:02.265 I've never heard it called that before. 01:02:02.965 --> 01:02:06.408 Once he got out the box, oh, I didn't read this too properly. 01:02:06.808 --> 01:02:10.391 Once he got out the box inside, all the popcorn there was. 01:02:12.403 --> 01:02:13.464 Welcome to my world. 01:02:13.824 --> 01:02:14.625 It's all gone wrong. 01:02:14.685 --> 01:02:15.566 This is what you deal with. 01:02:15.866 --> 01:02:17.627 This is what I have to deal with on a weekly basis. 01:02:17.687 --> 01:02:20.570 Not all correspondents construct a sentence properly. 01:02:20.590 --> 01:02:23.212 They don't do it and they don't use the proper punctuation. 01:02:23.252 --> 01:02:23.572 That's the thing. 01:02:23.592 --> 01:02:24.492 Do you want a bit more time? 01:02:24.553 --> 01:02:26.294 Suddenly you'll get a random full stop. 01:02:26.454 --> 01:02:28.536 Here's a good one from Chris in Twickenham. 01:02:28.576 --> 01:02:32.358 He says, Hi guys, as a child I was given the game Pop-Up Pirate. 01:02:32.499 --> 01:02:33.539 That's a good game. 01:02:34.640 --> 01:02:42.746 They're in a barrel, and you have to stick swords in the... No, you have to remove... No, stick swords in the side until the pirate pops up. 01:02:42.766 --> 01:02:44.647 You never know which is the sword that's gonna make him pop up. 01:02:44.667 --> 01:02:45.147 Right, right, right. 01:02:45.167 --> 01:02:45.508 Pop-up pirate. 01:02:45.848 --> 01:02:51.011 It was lacking... This game of a pop-up pirate that his dad gave him was lacking the pirate. 01:02:51.692 --> 01:02:53.193 My dad replaced it with a cork. 01:02:54.934 --> 01:02:56.635 That's classic dad activity, isn't it? 01:02:56.655 --> 01:02:56.775 Yeah. 01:02:57.236 --> 01:03:00.418 I mean, what difference should it make if it's just a cork with a pirate's face drawn on? 01:03:00.438 --> 01:03:01.739 Still the same game, it's exciting. 01:03:03.040 --> 01:03:05.442 Again, no excuse for parents to do something like that. 01:03:05.462 --> 01:03:06.143 That's outrageous. 01:03:06.183 --> 01:03:06.743 That's typical. 01:03:06.763 --> 01:03:08.285 How are you getting on with your mail there? 01:03:08.305 --> 01:03:09.046 Have you abandoned it? 01:03:09.506 --> 01:03:10.887 Well, not really that well. 01:03:10.907 --> 01:03:12.829 I might have to have another track. 01:03:12.849 --> 01:03:14.671 I feel quite humiliated after launching it. 01:03:14.951 --> 01:03:18.194 Also, I felt that I was segueing very well when I launched into it. 01:03:18.374 --> 01:03:19.315 It was going so well. 01:03:19.355 --> 01:03:20.436 You did a brilliant segue. 01:03:20.456 --> 01:03:24.360 You switched from a personal anecdote to a piece of correspondence that tied into it. 01:03:24.380 --> 01:03:27.561 I read the first couple of lines and I thought, hang on, this is relevant. 01:03:27.781 --> 01:03:30.443 And so my brain started clicking and I thought, this is going to be smooth. 01:03:30.483 --> 01:03:33.964 And then you were overconfident, which made you look even stupider when the whole thing crumbled. 01:03:33.984 --> 01:03:35.545 I completely crumbled and got away from me. 01:03:35.585 --> 01:03:37.906 It was so, it was one of the worst moments of my life. 01:03:37.946 --> 01:03:38.426 What an idiot. 01:03:38.646 --> 01:03:39.686 What an absolute idiot. 01:03:39.747 --> 01:03:40.547 I hate myself. 01:03:41.047 --> 01:03:43.728 Now it's hub combo time, ladies and gentlemen. 01:03:44.008 --> 01:03:45.489 What is, explain the hub combo. 01:03:45.589 --> 01:03:59.802 A hub combo is basically two musicians at once in the hub, but they've decided to take their inspiration from McDonald's here at Six Music and describe it as a combo, which is possibly the trashiest possible word they could use to describe it. 01:04:00.083 --> 01:04:06.329 But let's put that aside for the minute and imagine that it's Brills, which of course it is, so that's not difficult. 01:04:07.630 --> 01:04:08.110 Oh, dear. 01:04:08.650 --> 01:04:11.533 I'm just being rude about the name of the feature, I think, as a feature. 01:04:11.573 --> 01:04:12.894 It's a brilliant, brilliant idea. 01:04:12.914 --> 01:04:13.794 Just say who's playing. 01:04:13.814 --> 01:04:16.456 It was recorded at last night at Maida Vale last night. 01:04:17.317 --> 01:04:20.919 And Paul Weller and Adele were part of the combo. 01:04:21.660 --> 01:04:22.921 And here it is. 01:04:22.981 --> 01:04:24.662 This is Invisible by Paul Weller. 01:04:24.682 --> 01:04:26.644 So Estelle isn't even involved, in fact. 01:04:27.084 --> 01:04:28.425 So forget everything I just said. 01:04:28.785 --> 01:04:30.426 Here's Paul Weller with Invisible. 01:04:30.627 --> 01:04:31.147 There you go. 01:04:31.207 --> 01:04:32.388 That's Paul Weller. 01:04:34.335 --> 01:04:37.499 That's Paul Weller there in the hub combo zone. 01:04:38.320 --> 01:04:51.557 I'm sorry I was rude about the, I wouldn't say rude flippant, I was flippant about the notion of the hub combos and that's not the sort of thing a good DJ should do, you should support the endeavors of your station and not be sarcastic and cynical gratuitously. 01:04:52.358 --> 01:04:53.699 just to make yourself feel big. 01:04:53.719 --> 01:04:55.019 This is what I was doing. 01:04:55.960 --> 01:04:56.860 The logic of a bully. 01:04:57.320 --> 01:05:00.141 And I'm sorry, hubcombo is a triffic name for them. 01:05:00.502 --> 01:05:01.542 For a triffic thing. 01:05:01.602 --> 01:05:02.362 For a triff thing. 01:05:03.283 --> 01:05:07.845 Weller and Adele there, and you can watch the full... Oh, sorry. 01:05:07.925 --> 01:05:09.065 Oh, those noises you're making. 01:05:09.105 --> 01:05:11.006 They're spooky noises for my next segment. 01:05:11.807 --> 01:05:12.867 Oh, it's exciting. 01:05:13.007 --> 01:05:13.727 Spooky. 01:05:13.747 --> 01:05:15.948 For my next segment. 01:05:16.929 --> 01:05:18.189 I didn't know you had segments. 01:05:18.209 --> 01:05:20.250 Neither did I. I don't have segments. 01:05:20.730 --> 01:05:21.331 I'm jealous. 01:05:22.111 --> 01:05:23.933 I made up the whole concept on the spot. 01:05:24.153 --> 01:05:24.554 Wow. 01:05:25.755 --> 01:05:27.116 This show's just gone up a notch. 01:05:27.196 --> 01:05:28.137 It's exciting, isn't it? 01:05:28.277 --> 01:05:28.878 Yes. 01:05:29.198 --> 01:05:33.742 So yeah, I was going to say you can watch the Paul Weller and Adele hub combo on. 01:05:34.643 --> 01:05:36.545 It runs out on the computer screen there. 01:05:37.266 --> 01:05:37.846 Oh, here it is. 01:05:37.926 --> 01:05:38.207 Sorry. 01:05:38.287 --> 01:05:39.928 It's written down on the piece of paper, isn't it? 01:05:40.049 --> 01:05:44.953 On your TV, you press the red button on any BBC TV channel and you can watch him playing that. 01:05:45.754 --> 01:05:46.475 Amazing. 01:05:46.495 --> 01:05:49.437 Are we going to play anything that they did together, Paul Weller and Adele? 01:05:49.457 --> 01:05:58.243 Because it just seems sort of pointless to introduce this combo thing and then just play a solo performance later on. 01:05:58.283 --> 01:05:59.324 Be a bit sniffy again there. 01:05:59.584 --> 01:06:00.024 I am, aren't I? 01:06:00.064 --> 01:06:05.088 I know it's a good idea to call something a combo and then just have one person. 01:06:05.408 --> 01:06:06.288 It's a good idea, well done. 01:06:07.629 --> 01:06:15.155 Joe, have you heard the song by Pink, which is called Bad Influence? 01:06:15.855 --> 01:06:16.636 Uh, probably. 01:06:16.876 --> 01:06:18.098 You're aware of Pink, right? 01:06:18.218 --> 01:06:18.818 I know Pink. 01:06:18.878 --> 01:06:22.802 She's a very tall, sexy sort of, uh, lady. 01:06:22.943 --> 01:06:23.924 She's not tall, is she? 01:06:24.084 --> 01:06:25.205 I think she seems tall. 01:06:25.265 --> 01:06:28.328 Maybe she's just, uh, filmed with shorter people around her. 01:06:28.368 --> 01:06:32.152 She's one of these people that is filmed like- Oh, I'm thinking of Gwen Stefani. 01:06:32.172 --> 01:06:33.173 I get confused. 01:06:33.213 --> 01:06:34.094 Yeah, Pink's tiny. 01:06:34.254 --> 01:06:37.598 Pink is more of a, um, little runty person. 01:06:37.978 --> 01:06:38.278 Yeah. 01:06:38.518 --> 01:06:41.641 And she, like in her videos, they speed up the action. 01:06:42.161 --> 01:06:43.082 I know who Pink is. 01:06:43.142 --> 01:06:43.502 Yeah, yeah. 01:06:43.662 --> 01:06:48.025 She spells her name, instead of an I, she uses an exclamation mark. 01:06:48.325 --> 01:06:51.287 And that sums up a great deal about what Pink's life is like. 01:06:51.327 --> 01:06:51.567 Yeah. 01:06:51.908 --> 01:06:52.188 You know? 01:06:52.368 --> 01:06:53.549 She's provocative and punky. 01:06:53.569 --> 01:06:54.389 She's very provocative. 01:06:54.409 --> 01:06:54.950 She's sassy. 01:06:55.130 --> 01:06:56.811 Yeah, but she likes to have a good time as well. 01:06:56.831 --> 01:06:57.511 She's like Tank Girl. 01:06:57.531 --> 01:06:59.213 She's a bit like Tank Girl, come to life, isn't she? 01:06:59.233 --> 01:07:01.034 She's a little bit like Tank Girl, come to life. 01:07:01.474 --> 01:07:02.435 She's had a difficult year. 01:07:02.475 --> 01:07:07.878 I think maybe she got divorced and she says that her new album is very vulnerable. 01:07:07.938 --> 01:07:10.300 It's got a lot of vulnerable songs on it. 01:07:11.080 --> 01:07:13.602 In fact, she claims that it's her most vulnerable album. 01:07:13.982 --> 01:07:14.282 Wow. 01:07:14.823 --> 01:07:19.966 It's her fifth album and the album is called Fun House and this track Bad Influences on there. 01:07:19.986 --> 01:07:21.187 I heard it on Radio 1 the other day. 01:07:21.207 --> 01:07:21.928 I was listening to Radio 1. 01:07:22.868 --> 01:07:24.590 Well, you've got to keep down with the kids, haven't you? 01:07:24.610 --> 01:07:31.395 Yeah, you know, and I was listening to it for a while and they were talking and stuff and I listened to all of it for about 10 minutes before I went insane. 01:07:31.455 --> 01:07:32.076 You're great. 01:07:32.096 --> 01:07:32.456 Turn it off. 01:07:32.756 --> 01:07:35.239 But I heard this track on there. 01:07:35.279 --> 01:07:37.140 I'll play you a little snatch of this track right now. 01:08:01.409 --> 01:08:04.252 Go so what if it's only one in the afternoon 01:08:16.616 --> 01:08:19.697 Right, so she's having a crazy party time there. 01:08:19.717 --> 01:08:22.458 But were you listening to the lyrics that she was singing? 01:08:22.478 --> 01:08:22.938 Yes, I was, yeah. 01:08:23.638 --> 01:08:33.862 And the thing is that if you actually listen to what she's singing and then read back the lyrics, which you can do, obviously, by going online, it's a very different kind of vibe you get there. 01:08:33.902 --> 01:08:37.763 I mean, that song is unrestrainedly nutty and fun, isn't it? 01:08:38.823 --> 01:08:43.345 And maybe she's deliberately being ironic by creating an uptempo 01:08:44.185 --> 01:08:50.790 you know, atmosphere, for what seems to be like a scream from the abyss, as far as I can tell. 01:08:51.170 --> 01:08:52.451 Here's the lyrics, right? 01:08:52.691 --> 01:08:57.415 If you read them out with my scary atmosphere track, which I was just creating there. 01:08:57.455 --> 01:08:59.096 Here we go. 01:09:00.957 --> 01:09:02.739 You hear that scary atmosphere? 01:09:02.819 --> 01:09:04.300 It's a little bit of a scare. 01:09:04.320 --> 01:09:06.081 I'm just going to turn up the scary atmosphere. 01:09:08.103 --> 01:09:08.483 It's okay. 01:09:09.409 --> 01:09:11.790 So here are the lyrics for Bad Influence. 01:09:13.151 --> 01:09:13.871 All right, sir. 01:09:14.531 --> 01:09:15.272 I'll have another one. 01:09:15.472 --> 01:09:15.932 It's early. 01:09:16.492 --> 01:09:17.093 Three olives. 01:09:17.433 --> 01:09:17.953 Shake it up. 01:09:18.373 --> 01:09:19.234 I like it dirty. 01:09:19.654 --> 01:09:19.994 Dirty. 01:09:20.717 --> 01:09:21.978 Tequila for my friend. 01:09:21.998 --> 01:09:23.599 It makes her flirty. 01:09:24.279 --> 01:09:24.700 Flirty. 01:09:25.460 --> 01:09:25.840 Trust me. 01:09:25.860 --> 01:09:28.202 I'm the instigator of underwear. 01:09:28.802 --> 01:09:30.143 Showing up here and there. 01:09:30.163 --> 01:09:30.784 Uh-oh. 01:09:31.404 --> 01:09:31.744 Uh-oh. 01:09:31.904 --> 01:09:34.086 So what if it's only one o'clock in the afternoon? 01:09:34.866 --> 01:09:40.030 It's never too soon to send out all the invitations to the last night of your life. 01:09:41.331 --> 01:09:42.692 Lordy, lordy, lordy. 01:09:43.492 --> 01:09:44.213 I can't help it. 01:09:44.933 --> 01:09:45.814 I like to party. 01:09:45.914 --> 01:09:46.594 It's genetic. 01:09:47.235 --> 01:09:48.195 It's electrifying. 01:09:48.796 --> 01:09:50.357 Wind me up and watch me go. 01:09:51.258 --> 01:09:53.240 Where she stops, nobody knows. 01:09:54.141 --> 01:09:55.442 And on it goes like that, you see. 01:09:55.503 --> 01:09:57.665 It's like some kind of Edgar Allan Poe. 01:09:58.186 --> 01:09:59.227 It's like Edgar Allan Poe. 01:09:59.487 --> 01:10:03.552 Or just the confessions of a whino or someone with a terrible alcohol problem. 01:10:03.996 --> 01:10:05.617 She's the instigator of underwear. 01:10:05.757 --> 01:10:05.997 Yeah. 01:10:06.138 --> 01:10:09.980 Is that because she started a fashion of wearing your underwear over your clothes? 01:10:10.460 --> 01:10:11.721 Wow, like a superhero. 01:10:11.821 --> 01:10:12.262 I don't know. 01:10:12.282 --> 01:10:12.942 I think so. 01:10:13.002 --> 01:10:18.646 I think she started, like, wearing your bra on top of your shirt or your panties outside your trousers. 01:10:19.327 --> 01:10:19.647 Right. 01:10:19.967 --> 01:10:20.908 Yeah, well, that could be it. 01:10:21.428 --> 01:10:24.130 I mean, she loves the idea that she's a bad influence. 01:10:24.190 --> 01:10:25.451 Later on, she talks about 01:10:26.171 --> 01:10:27.092 Get calm down. 01:10:27.112 --> 01:10:32.234 I know your son said he was in my house He's the captain of the football team, but I turned him out. 01:10:32.574 --> 01:10:37.557 He wasn't the first he won't be the last to turn it down This happens all the time. 01:10:38.017 --> 01:10:42.439 I mean, it's her life's completely unraveling there, but she's having a little party moment 01:10:43.800 --> 01:10:45.542 I mean, that's shocking, don't you think? 01:10:45.962 --> 01:10:46.943 It's depressing. 01:10:48.524 --> 01:10:49.585 It's really brought me down. 01:10:49.745 --> 01:10:51.367 I think Pink's having problems. 01:10:51.827 --> 01:10:54.870 I think she must be having massive problems, surely. 01:10:54.910 --> 01:10:55.510 And she needs help. 01:10:55.991 --> 01:10:56.351 Yeah. 01:10:56.611 --> 01:10:59.013 Is there any way that we can organise some kind of charity? 01:10:59.033 --> 01:11:03.377 Do you think she's sort of partying and everyone's dancing but really she's... Crying inside. 01:11:03.397 --> 01:11:05.559 She's going to be found slumped in the corner of the club. 01:11:05.659 --> 01:11:06.260 Almost certainly. 01:11:06.520 --> 01:11:07.781 In tears and nearly dead. 01:11:08.121 --> 01:11:11.962 And then people will look back at the lyrics to that album in a very different way. 01:11:12.003 --> 01:11:12.883 We should have listened. 01:11:13.263 --> 01:11:13.563 Yeah. 01:11:14.223 --> 01:11:15.804 To Adam Buxton reading them out. 01:11:15.864 --> 01:11:17.525 We should have listened to Adam Buxton. 01:11:17.865 --> 01:11:20.226 We should have believed Buxton. 01:11:21.226 --> 01:11:23.387 It's just a little warning for you there pink fans. 01:11:23.787 --> 01:11:29.109 Now we are going to play some more music now and after that I think we'll have some more 01:11:29.589 --> 01:11:33.690 We'll have some more text with Text the Nation, your crepus Christmas presents. 01:11:33.750 --> 01:11:35.791 This is a Q-tip classic. 01:11:35.851 --> 01:11:37.171 It's not from his new album. 01:11:37.732 --> 01:11:39.352 No, it's from the one before. 01:11:39.372 --> 01:11:40.312 This is Breathe and Stop. 01:11:40.753 --> 01:11:41.213 Very good. 01:11:41.393 --> 01:11:41.753 Well done. 01:11:41.853 --> 01:11:43.714 That's Q-tip with Breathe and Stop. 01:11:44.074 --> 01:11:51.216 Let's return now to Text the Nation and we are asking you to tell us about some of the crepus presents that you've ever received or maybe that you've ever given. 01:11:51.996 --> 01:11:53.697 homemade presents, that kind of thing. 01:11:54.098 --> 01:11:54.698 I had a thought. 01:11:54.738 --> 01:11:55.879 Yeah, go on then. 01:11:55.919 --> 01:11:59.802 The key thing for all present giving is a shrink wrap machine. 01:12:00.202 --> 01:12:00.302 Ah. 01:12:00.762 --> 01:12:05.465 If you have a shrink wrap machine, then you can make any old thing look new. 01:12:05.565 --> 01:12:05.966 That's right. 01:12:06.226 --> 01:12:10.269 You can also take anything you're given back to the shop and get your money back. 01:12:10.869 --> 01:12:13.110 Probably without the receipt because it's shrink wrapped. 01:12:13.531 --> 01:12:13.791 Right. 01:12:14.111 --> 01:12:14.391 Right. 01:12:15.251 --> 01:12:15.832 Isn't that true? 01:12:16.292 --> 01:12:17.032 That must be true. 01:12:17.132 --> 01:12:18.753 I mean, that's a very good idea. 01:12:19.693 --> 01:12:20.574 How much do they cost? 01:12:20.794 --> 01:12:21.674 Probably not that much. 01:12:21.694 --> 01:12:24.695 You know, it doesn't cost that much to get a laminating machine, does it? 01:12:24.955 --> 01:12:25.075 No. 01:12:25.135 --> 01:12:26.636 But a shrink-wrap machine, that would be different. 01:12:26.656 --> 01:12:27.916 That's bigger hardware. 01:12:28.176 --> 01:12:28.937 We should look into it. 01:12:29.197 --> 01:12:29.857 Still worth it, I reckon. 01:12:29.897 --> 01:12:33.338 Because that would be great if anyone out there knows about shrink-wrap machines. 01:12:33.739 --> 01:12:34.539 Do let us know. 01:12:34.939 --> 01:12:36.920 Here's a text from Vivian in Glasgow. 01:12:37.340 --> 01:12:41.341 She says, Hi Adam and Joe, last Christmas my aunt sent me her old underwear. 01:12:42.162 --> 01:12:42.402 What? 01:12:43.740 --> 01:12:45.702 I don't know whether I can read the rest of this. 01:12:45.722 --> 01:12:46.783 Have you read this one, Ben? 01:12:47.924 --> 01:12:48.305 Yeah. 01:12:48.665 --> 01:12:50.107 I don't think I can read that one. 01:12:50.127 --> 01:12:51.508 It wasn't filthy underwear, though, was it? 01:12:51.688 --> 01:12:52.029 Yeah. 01:12:52.429 --> 01:12:52.689 What? 01:12:53.070 --> 01:12:53.410 Yeah. 01:12:53.510 --> 01:12:54.491 What, you mean like saucy? 01:12:54.691 --> 01:12:55.612 Not actually soiled. 01:12:56.954 --> 01:12:57.734 She's incontinent. 01:12:57.854 --> 01:12:59.276 She wears tenor lady pants. 01:12:59.676 --> 01:12:59.997 What? 01:13:01.158 --> 01:13:02.239 Let's skip over that. 01:13:02.319 --> 01:13:03.700 Let's skip over that one. 01:13:03.740 --> 01:13:04.802 Brilliantly skipped over. 01:13:04.862 --> 01:13:05.402 Is that true? 01:13:07.424 --> 01:13:08.325 That's extraordinary. 01:13:08.385 --> 01:13:11.048 Would someone's gran actually send them their own pants? 01:13:11.489 --> 01:13:13.111 You hand down clothes though, don't you? 01:13:13.511 --> 01:13:14.152 Yeah, you do. 01:13:14.172 --> 01:13:14.832 Pass me down. 01:13:14.973 --> 01:13:15.954 Well, I could understand it. 01:13:15.974 --> 01:13:18.356 I mean, it would be... Ladies might do pass me down knickers. 01:13:18.456 --> 01:13:18.897 Certainly. 01:13:18.977 --> 01:13:20.118 I mean, it would raise an eyebrow. 01:13:20.158 --> 01:13:26.325 But if you're... It's like when a man gives his son a family heirloom, like a watch, a classic watch. 01:13:26.565 --> 01:13:28.167 A mother does the same with her pants. 01:13:29.309 --> 01:13:38.400 It's less common, I would say, but it surely must have happened, especially if your mum had some beautiful frilly knickers from the 40s or whatever. 01:13:38.420 --> 01:13:40.222 That would be a beautiful family tradition. 01:13:40.342 --> 01:13:41.363 Yeah, but not soiled. 01:13:41.924 --> 01:13:42.725 Just clean them up. 01:13:42.825 --> 01:13:44.567 That would be a bad family tradition. 01:13:45.068 --> 01:13:48.432 Here's an email right now from Abby Cornwall in Edinburgh. 01:13:48.852 --> 01:13:55.575 And she says, My granny once made a Christmas card for me out of the cardboard base that frozen pizzas come on. 01:13:56.015 --> 01:14:06.999 She folded it up and wrote, Merry Christmas, Love Grand, with black marker on the pumpy bit, so that it was all really wonky, and it looked like a head case had made it while sitting on the bus. 01:14:07.639 --> 01:14:11.301 She cut the corners off the envelopes that she'd received with Christmas cards, 01:14:14.482 --> 01:14:22.508 And she cut them into tiny triangles and stuck them all round the Merry Christmas bit and then folded it into a semi-circle shape. 01:14:22.928 --> 01:14:28.632 The worst of it was that she hadn't even wiped the cardboardy bit, so that when I opened it, I ended up with greasy fingers. 01:14:29.252 --> 01:14:40.303 Also, she once brought me a white plate with a small fluffy cat, small fluffy cat head with skew-if eyes, really squinty looking, one green and one blue, under a glass dome in the centre of it. 01:14:40.544 --> 01:14:42.045 She's mad, my gran, but ace. 01:14:42.646 --> 01:14:43.347 Love the show. 01:14:43.567 --> 01:14:44.167 Thanks, Abby. 01:14:44.408 --> 01:14:45.229 I read that out very badly. 01:14:45.269 --> 01:14:46.470 You've read the whole thing out. 01:14:46.710 --> 01:14:47.550 And that's good, that's good. 01:14:47.650 --> 01:14:54.893 I'm just learning, because you usually read this, but Ben, our producer, has foolishly given me a couple to read out, you see. 01:14:55.294 --> 01:14:56.634 Ben doesn't know what he's doing. 01:14:56.654 --> 01:14:58.815 Joe's the king of this, and I'm just learning. 01:14:58.835 --> 01:15:01.216 That's not true at all, as you could see from my pant. 01:15:01.516 --> 01:15:02.877 All right, reading king. 01:15:03.137 --> 01:15:04.097 Read one out. 01:15:04.137 --> 01:15:06.498 Here's one from Adam, and here's one from Adam in Norwich. 01:15:06.758 --> 01:15:11.100 My older brother, many years ago, when he was about 15, I really, really wanted a saxophone. 01:15:11.420 --> 01:15:15.143 My parents couldn't afford this, so they made one from loo roll, buttons and plastic beakers. 01:15:15.563 --> 01:15:20.747 While the carefully created device was wonderfully made, when he unwrapped it, it broke his little heart. 01:15:21.607 --> 01:15:26.611 I think when you're a child, that's the angriest you can ever get at Christmas, or the most confused and upset. 01:15:26.631 --> 01:15:29.593 Because you love your parents, yet they seem to have punched you in the face. 01:15:29.613 --> 01:15:33.336 It's supposed to be the happiest day of the year, yet you feel furious. 01:15:34.257 --> 01:15:35.658 I'm feeling angry even now. 01:15:36.098 --> 01:15:42.964 My, um, sister-in-law, she came round last year, and she gave my boys the gift of books. 01:15:43.765 --> 01:15:47.248 And they are, well, they, at that time, they were three and five. 01:15:47.308 --> 01:15:48.989 So unable to read all that confidently. 01:15:49.129 --> 01:15:54.014 And the gift of a book at that age is like being handed a steaming pile of dog pops. 01:15:55.414 --> 01:15:57.776 And they immediately unwrapped it eagerly, right? 01:15:57.976 --> 01:16:06.920 They're already a little suspicious when they saw the package because they thought, hmm, a large plastic truck doesn't usually come in this kind of packaging. 01:16:07.200 --> 01:16:09.101 So they rip all the paper off, there's a book. 01:16:09.581 --> 01:16:10.281 What was the book? 01:16:10.761 --> 01:16:12.382 It was like, it was a good book. 01:16:12.402 --> 01:16:14.003 Clive James' TV essays. 01:16:14.423 --> 01:16:17.005 Yeah, I was like, Russell Brand's my bookie work or something. 01:16:17.025 --> 01:16:17.725 No, it wasn't. 01:16:18.066 --> 01:16:23.329 But it was a nice book that she got them and one that I'm sure we've subsequently read and enjoyed together. 01:16:23.850 --> 01:16:25.951 But they instantly burst into tears. 01:16:26.011 --> 01:16:31.915 As soon as they saw it was a book, they were just like, they threw it on the floor and they weren't having it. 01:16:32.095 --> 01:16:33.937 Listen, we're going to come back to this text the nation. 01:16:33.957 --> 01:16:35.738 And when we come back, it's going to be so polished. 01:16:35.758 --> 01:16:36.859 It should be really slick. 01:16:36.899 --> 01:16:38.600 We're going to segue a couple of tracks. 01:16:39.280 --> 01:16:40.041 You know what the thing is? 01:16:40.101 --> 01:16:43.023 I even read that one out to myself before and I still ruined it. 01:16:43.467 --> 01:16:46.789 Well, you're going to have a last chance to try and save your reputation. 01:16:46.869 --> 01:16:48.950 Our final text donation link is going to be amazing. 01:16:48.970 --> 01:16:51.191 It's going to be really slick coming up a bit later in the show. 01:16:51.471 --> 01:16:52.211 So keep them coming in. 01:16:52.231 --> 01:16:56.794 The text number is 64046 or email adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 01:16:57.194 --> 01:16:59.035 Now, is this Joe's free play here? 01:17:01.713 --> 01:17:03.815 Oh, it's just, it's Glass Vegas now, is it? 01:17:04.556 --> 01:17:05.457 Or a trail first. 01:17:05.657 --> 01:17:06.457 It's exciting, isn't it? 01:17:06.517 --> 01:17:08.679 Like, describing to people how confused we are. 01:17:09.760 --> 01:17:11.062 Here's some sounds. 01:17:11.442 --> 01:17:12.863 You know, that was a free play listener's. 01:17:12.903 --> 01:17:16.687 That was a band from the 80s called ABC with Poison Arrow. 01:17:16.787 --> 01:17:19.089 Do you think it's necessary to explain who ABC are? 01:17:19.129 --> 01:17:20.030 It probably is, isn't it? 01:17:20.150 --> 01:17:20.710 You never know. 01:17:20.931 --> 01:17:21.631 Yeah, you never know. 01:17:21.671 --> 01:17:23.133 That album, though, is a classic, isn't it? 01:17:23.813 --> 01:17:49.754 uh lexicon of love yes yes absolutely doesn't it appear on like q magazine's top album lists it's properly respected isn't it now yeah yeah it's a stone classic you know i've got a signed copy have you really do you think that's worth anything i bought it when it first came out i didn't meet the band or anything but they just had a few signed copies on the shelf at hmv back in 82 or whenever that was like they sometimes have signed books in bookshops yes i knew uh but so do you think that's worth anything 01:17:50.294 --> 01:17:53.057 No, no, no, it's disappointing, isn't it? 01:17:53.137 --> 01:17:56.781 Sometimes you buy stuff that you think is going to be valuable in future, especially as a kid. 01:17:57.121 --> 01:18:00.405 And then when you get to our age, a long time has passed. 01:18:00.745 --> 01:18:02.667 So things like that should increase in value. 01:18:02.928 --> 01:18:07.653 But then you go on eBay and you find the depressing truth is you're still only going to get a fiver for it. 01:18:07.673 --> 01:18:10.776 In fact, they probably cost worth less than the initial outlay. 01:18:10.976 --> 01:18:11.537 Yeah, I know. 01:18:11.577 --> 01:18:12.738 That is disappointing, isn't it? 01:18:13.478 --> 01:18:16.461 Because the thing is that it's all got to be pristine and all that kind of stuff. 01:18:16.481 --> 01:18:20.865 That kind of value ink builds up incrementally over hundreds of years. 01:18:20.925 --> 01:18:25.770 Although I would imagine that if your name wasn't on it, then it's probably worth more. 01:18:26.711 --> 01:18:27.832 Right, my name isn't on it. 01:18:27.872 --> 01:18:28.893 It just has their signatures. 01:18:29.113 --> 01:18:30.253 Well, it might be priceless. 01:18:30.273 --> 01:18:30.793 Wow. 01:18:31.134 --> 01:18:33.274 It should take it along to Ante and Rocha. 01:18:34.675 --> 01:18:35.835 Get in touch with Fiona Bruce. 01:18:36.555 --> 01:18:38.055 It's time for the news now, ladies and gentlemen. 01:18:38.075 --> 01:18:40.276 It's just gone 11.30 and here it is. 01:18:40.616 --> 01:18:43.677 Why would they even go for the last little four seconds there, do you think? 01:18:44.257 --> 01:18:45.437 Song's not quite there yet. 01:18:45.477 --> 01:18:47.258 We'll just need a little extra. 01:18:47.685 --> 01:18:48.785 Endings are very important. 01:18:48.885 --> 01:18:50.186 Dingleberry on the end of the song there. 01:18:50.226 --> 01:18:52.046 And the last thing that stay in the listener's head. 01:18:52.306 --> 01:18:52.606 Yeah. 01:18:52.806 --> 01:18:56.067 That was the Kaiser Chiefs sounding very much like XTC, I thought. 01:18:56.487 --> 01:18:58.187 With Good Days, Bad Days. 01:18:58.207 --> 01:19:00.368 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 01:19:00.948 --> 01:19:03.588 And I think we're going to maybe wrap up Text the Nation now. 01:19:05.009 --> 01:19:08.789 We are asking about crap presents that you have got or given in the past. 01:19:09.269 --> 01:19:10.110 Maybe we won't wrap it up. 01:19:10.150 --> 01:19:11.310 Maybe we'll have another one after this. 01:19:11.370 --> 01:19:14.711 But here's a couple that, obviously, I'm going to have another go at reading. 01:19:14.931 --> 01:19:15.251 Good luck. 01:19:15.631 --> 01:19:16.331 Thanks very much. 01:19:17.672 --> 01:19:23.378 Dear Adam and Jo, the worst gift I have ever seen given was a gift my stepbrother got from his mum. 01:19:23.998 --> 01:19:27.101 She had told him she was going to get him a guitar for Christmas. 01:19:27.702 --> 01:19:37.932 And lo and behold, she says, Claire says lo and behold, instead of lo and behold, she spells it L-O-N-E, behold, which is an egg corn, I think, isn't it? 01:19:38.313 --> 01:19:39.034 Right, what does that mean? 01:19:39.614 --> 01:19:44.678 Well, it's, as far as I know, it's like a sort of phrase or a word that you've misheard. 01:19:44.838 --> 01:19:47.140 You've turned into a different phrase. 01:19:47.180 --> 01:19:47.620 Yeah. 01:19:47.841 --> 01:19:54.206 So the term egg corn comes from the fact that some people think acorns maybe were egg corns. 01:19:55.066 --> 01:19:57.648 So she's gone for lo and behold instead of lo and behold. 01:19:57.828 --> 01:20:00.851 Other ones include minefield instead of minefield. 01:20:00.891 --> 01:20:01.211 Yes. 01:20:01.791 --> 01:20:04.173 I used to think it was communal garden. 01:20:04.514 --> 01:20:05.454 Like communal garden. 01:20:05.514 --> 01:20:08.697 Instead of communal garden, I used to think it was a communal garden. 01:20:08.877 --> 01:20:10.519 There you go, a little eggcorn there. 01:20:10.539 --> 01:20:11.139 Nothing wrong with that. 01:20:11.219 --> 01:20:12.020 Claire from Liverpool. 01:20:12.300 --> 01:20:14.382 Oh, sorry, I torpedoed your story there, Claire. 01:20:14.402 --> 01:20:15.623 It was going so well as well. 01:20:15.683 --> 01:20:16.624 I was reading it really well. 01:20:16.964 --> 01:20:22.509 Lo and behold, on the day that she had a guitar-sized box wrapped up under a tree. 01:20:22.649 --> 01:20:33.039 However, he opened it to find that all it contained was the guitar case for the guitar that he wanted and a small note which read, This is for when you manage to save up and buy your own guitar. 01:20:33.219 --> 01:20:33.960 Love you, Mum. 01:20:34.500 --> 01:20:38.962 It was cruel but very funny, and he still hasn't managed to save up for the guitar to put in the case. 01:20:39.242 --> 01:20:40.503 That's from Claire in Liverpool. 01:20:40.523 --> 01:20:41.003 Thanks, Claire. 01:20:41.063 --> 01:20:42.684 There's a lot of cruel parents out there. 01:20:42.704 --> 01:20:46.966 Not cruel, but parents who choose Christmas as the day to teach their kids something. 01:20:47.306 --> 01:20:47.686 Ah, yes. 01:20:47.706 --> 01:20:49.287 It's the wrong day to choose. 01:20:49.347 --> 01:20:50.207 That is, birthdays. 01:20:50.547 --> 01:20:56.550 Hugh and Kent says, past present highlights from my dad as a child have included a shoe in a sole, 01:20:57.805 --> 01:21:07.331 A garden-centre mug, shoe polish, a yellow plastic poncho, and get this, a Christmas card sealed in its original plastic wrapping. 01:21:08.772 --> 01:21:11.313 That is good present-buying from Dad. 01:21:11.573 --> 01:21:13.835 A Christmas card that you can give to someone else next year. 01:21:14.055 --> 01:21:17.917 Kate in Keeley says, my mum once told all my family that I needed a purse. 01:21:18.357 --> 01:21:20.699 So for Christmas, I got eight purses. 01:21:21.159 --> 01:21:24.181 This is made worse by the fact that it's my birthday on Christmas Day. 01:21:24.861 --> 01:21:25.721 That happened to me once. 01:21:25.781 --> 01:21:28.523 I made it known that I wanted a bag out of desperation, you know? 01:21:29.123 --> 01:21:31.504 Because my family very nicely always says, what do you want for Christmas? 01:21:31.524 --> 01:21:33.064 It's so hard to buy you presents. 01:21:33.565 --> 01:21:37.566 So I rack my brains and one year I just said, I don't know, like a bag, man bag type thing. 01:21:37.646 --> 01:21:40.487 I got bags from everybody, like ludicrous bags. 01:21:40.507 --> 01:21:41.128 Bags galore. 01:21:41.168 --> 01:21:42.588 Maybe there should be a preview day. 01:21:42.988 --> 01:21:44.149 A presents preview day. 01:21:44.369 --> 01:21:49.471 It would happen a week before Christmas to give the weekend before Christmas to give you time to replace the present. 01:21:50.091 --> 01:21:51.292 You would preview the presents. 01:21:51.792 --> 01:21:52.293 That's good. 01:21:52.513 --> 01:21:54.755 And be able to say no, no, yes, no. 01:21:55.816 --> 01:21:59.439 My dad just writes very specific lists now of what he wants, yeah. 01:21:59.500 --> 01:22:00.140 He's a good man. 01:22:00.200 --> 01:22:02.182 Here's another one from Corin from Birmingham. 01:22:02.602 --> 01:22:05.525 When I was seven, my brother and sister got new bikes for Christmas. 01:22:06.126 --> 01:22:10.370 Seeing them from afar when we came down that morning, I was sure there would be one for me. 01:22:11.251 --> 01:22:13.353 No, only my old bike. 01:22:13.633 --> 01:22:18.174 which my mum and dad told me the fairies had cleaned and sprinkled with magic dust. 01:22:18.394 --> 01:22:18.734 That is rough. 01:22:18.754 --> 01:22:20.654 It was as dirty as it always had been. 01:22:21.174 --> 01:22:22.234 Poor Corin. 01:22:22.555 --> 01:22:23.355 That's hardcore. 01:22:23.375 --> 01:22:31.236 Here's one from Dave who was thinking about your idea for repackaging things and putting them in boxes, specifically living things and pets. 01:22:31.596 --> 01:22:36.457 He says, Joe's pet in a box idea is actually a hit in a park in Laos. 01:22:37.117 --> 01:22:39.577 You pay to give some chirpy sparrows in a cage 01:22:43.458 --> 01:22:43.778 Freedom. 01:22:43.898 --> 01:22:44.899 The gift of freedom, yeah. 01:22:45.399 --> 01:22:46.439 They're caught again later. 01:22:47.159 --> 01:22:47.619 Quids here. 01:22:47.659 --> 01:22:48.360 It's a good idea. 01:22:48.380 --> 01:22:50.180 It's a money-raising scheme. 01:22:50.820 --> 01:22:52.521 Here's one from Mega. 01:22:52.801 --> 01:22:53.041 What? 01:22:53.241 --> 01:22:53.461 No. 01:22:54.422 --> 01:22:55.642 Well, let me not bother with the name. 01:22:55.682 --> 01:22:56.402 I'll read out the text. 01:22:56.482 --> 01:22:58.423 Dear, dear Adam and dear, dear Joe. 01:22:58.943 --> 01:23:14.024 for the last few years i've received coloring pencils with my name on them it's very tiresome and you can't really give them to charity shops for a fairly obvious reasoning also last year they even spelt the name wrong so it came up as drain hill instead of adrian hill 01:23:16.187 --> 01:23:17.469 Drane Hill's a good name for a man. 01:23:17.549 --> 01:23:23.597 You used to give a good gift, which was, uh, inscribed pencils, but you'd make them inscribe something stupid. 01:23:23.637 --> 01:23:24.718 What did you have on them you wanted? 01:23:24.738 --> 01:23:25.659 Well, Totties I had one. 01:23:25.679 --> 01:23:29.564 Was it, was it, uh, me who gave the Totties one or did I receive them from Zach? 01:23:29.604 --> 01:23:30.025 I can't remember. 01:23:30.045 --> 01:23:34.951 I don't remember, but that's a good gift to get personalized stuff, but get them just to write something idiotic on them. 01:23:35.031 --> 01:23:35.391 Yeah. 01:23:36.192 --> 01:23:37.053 Yeah, that's always fun. 01:23:37.093 --> 01:23:39.475 Here's one from Will and Beck. 01:23:39.995 --> 01:23:44.979 He says, or they say, one year me and my wife both agreed not to buy each other a present. 01:23:45.180 --> 01:23:48.102 It was possibly the most miserable Christmas morning ever. 01:23:48.442 --> 01:23:51.405 And that's the thing that actually me and my wife have said that this year as well. 01:23:51.465 --> 01:23:52.366 Credit crunch Christmas. 01:23:52.706 --> 01:23:53.947 We said, listen, no presents. 01:23:54.207 --> 01:23:55.147 But that's useless. 01:23:55.447 --> 01:23:59.048 But then if you break the present embargo and the other person doesn't... You're in trouble. 01:23:59.188 --> 01:24:00.048 It's real trubs. 01:24:01.268 --> 01:24:03.229 Have you got one more there before we wrap up Texanation? 01:24:03.489 --> 01:24:03.749 No! 01:24:04.169 --> 01:24:04.989 Okay, well that's it. 01:24:05.029 --> 01:24:05.949 Thank you very much indeed. 01:24:05.989 --> 01:24:08.049 We had so many and there's too many to read out. 01:24:08.069 --> 01:24:10.630 And the ones that I tried to read out, I couldn't even read them anyway. 01:24:10.730 --> 01:24:12.390 We don't have a sexy assistant. 01:24:12.430 --> 01:24:16.891 We usually have a sexy assistant in the studio to help go through the Texan emails. 01:24:16.931 --> 01:24:19.912 But for some reason, we haven't got one this week. 01:24:19.952 --> 01:24:20.992 We don't know what's happening in the console. 01:24:21.012 --> 01:24:21.712 She's on a sexy break. 01:24:22.452 --> 01:24:24.193 Maybe it's because I was rude about the combos. 01:24:25.213 --> 01:24:27.313 They've withdrawn our… They're taking stealthy revenge. 01:24:27.353 --> 01:24:28.214 …withdrawn our funding. 01:24:28.614 --> 01:24:30.374 So, thank you very much for all your texts and emails. 01:24:30.414 --> 01:24:36.336 Apologies if I ruined the reading of your message there, but we'll have more text-to-nation next week. 01:24:36.376 --> 01:24:43.298 We're going to remind you of Song Wars after this next track, which is another blast of wonderfulness from the Hub Combo recorded at Maydaville. 01:24:43.318 --> 01:24:43.938 That's more like it. 01:24:44.398 --> 01:24:46.099 Uh, recorded at Maida Vale last night. 01:24:46.139 --> 01:24:49.580 This is Paul Weller and Adele doing chasing pavements. 01:24:50.541 --> 01:24:52.021 I even said it was Estelle earlier. 01:24:53.002 --> 01:24:53.442 Right. 01:24:53.522 --> 01:24:56.203 Made a complete mish-mash of that time. 01:24:56.303 --> 01:24:57.804 That's business as usual for us though, isn't it? 01:24:58.184 --> 01:24:58.544 Here we go. 01:24:58.564 --> 01:24:58.624 Yes! 01:24:59.204 --> 01:24:59.585 Nice one, Adele! 01:24:59.605 --> 01:25:09.829 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, 01:25:10.848 --> 01:25:18.657 That was Paul Weller and Adele recorded live at the hub combo session at Maida Vale last night. 01:25:18.798 --> 01:25:27.629 And you can see them performing that by going to any BBC TV channel and pressing the red button if your technology is little but there has a red button. 01:25:28.169 --> 01:25:30.309 It's nice to punctuate a sentence with a little burp, I think. 01:25:30.329 --> 01:25:32.230 People love a bit of a burp. 01:25:32.330 --> 01:25:33.410 It just makes us human. 01:25:33.690 --> 01:25:40.671 We're not these untouchable, brilliant, polished radio machines that people think we are. 01:25:40.871 --> 01:25:41.051 No. 01:25:41.131 --> 01:25:41.672 We're human. 01:25:41.692 --> 01:25:43.272 We're capable of making mistakes. 01:25:43.972 --> 01:25:46.252 Are we human or are we dancer? 01:25:46.792 --> 01:25:48.193 You see, that's the question, isn't it? 01:25:48.873 --> 01:25:51.333 Now, we're going to remind you of our Song Wars songs this week. 01:25:51.353 --> 01:25:52.373 Let's have the Jingle Jingle. 01:25:53.914 --> 01:25:54.994 It's time for Song Wars. 01:26:03.056 --> 01:26:06.218 Now I can already see this is going Adam's way. 01:26:06.338 --> 01:26:06.998 No, is it? 01:26:07.338 --> 01:26:12.741 Yeah, because yours is funnier, you know? 01:26:12.761 --> 01:26:16.704 And people seem to have this thing about funny things. 01:26:16.764 --> 01:26:17.864 They like them, you know? 01:26:18.405 --> 01:26:20.246 More than things that aren't funny. 01:26:20.266 --> 01:26:21.586 I don't know what it is. 01:26:21.926 --> 01:26:22.627 It annoys me. 01:26:23.175 --> 01:26:25.397 Listen to the bad grays coming out of Cornish there. 01:26:25.417 --> 01:26:31.342 But, you know, what I'm saying is just because mine isn't necessarily, like, funny... Yours is tunefully brilliant. 01:26:31.943 --> 01:26:38.848 I mean, I've hijacked a Gary Newman tune for mine, so... But don't, but make sure you listen to these songs carefully, is all I'm saying. 01:26:38.868 --> 01:26:43.012 Don't make Malcolm Bladwell style snap decisions. 01:26:43.332 --> 01:26:46.375 Well, we're gonna play yours first now, anyway, so have a listen to this. 01:26:46.875 --> 01:26:57.850 This is my tribute to Joanna Lumley's documentary where she went to see the Northern Lights and this is a kings of convenience style kind of mellow folk number. 01:26:57.890 --> 01:26:59.192 This is called La La La Lumley. 01:26:59.614 --> 01:27:03.938 For 55 years of my life, I've dreamt about seeing the Northern Lights. 01:27:04.318 --> 01:27:06.860 She was born in Kashmir in 1946. 01:27:06.960 --> 01:27:11.784 Her father was a major in the Gurkha Rifles. 01:27:12.345 --> 01:27:15.247 When she was a little girl, she had a picture book. 01:27:15.948 --> 01:27:20.131 With a drawing of the Northern Lights, she wished she'd one day see that sight. 01:27:20.652 --> 01:27:23.474 She applied for Rada, but she did not get in. 01:27:24.135 --> 01:27:27.538 They said she'd never be a model too ugly and nothing. 01:27:28.158 --> 01:27:51.621 But she ignored the scorn they poured, confounded her detractors Five years later, she was Britain's most in-demand model and actress La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la 01:27:52.222 --> 01:28:00.523 But in her mind she could still find her unspoken ambition To see the northern lights before she died was still her mission La la la 01:28:11.272 --> 01:28:16.557 My only dream is that we won't get to see her. 01:28:16.617 --> 01:28:17.658 Something's happened. 01:28:40.789 --> 01:28:41.150 Thank you. 01:28:41.170 --> 01:28:43.031 I think I can die happy now. 01:29:02.222 --> 01:29:06.226 I'm worried that that won't mean anything to people who didn't see the documentary. 01:29:07.788 --> 01:29:10.331 There's no solution to it really, I'm just going to stay quiet. 01:29:10.951 --> 01:29:14.255 That's one of your musically strongest efforts, if I may say so. 01:29:14.695 --> 01:29:15.376 Nice of you to say. 01:29:15.416 --> 01:29:22.223 A friend of ours was staying with us the other weekend and we were having a couple of tinnies and for some reason I was forcing some song wars songs on him. 01:29:23.024 --> 01:29:29.747 And although he got a chuckle out of a couple of mine, he said with genuine awe and respect, wow, Joe's a really good musician, isn't he? 01:29:30.148 --> 01:29:31.268 Like, about a couple of years. 01:29:31.288 --> 01:29:31.548 Who was it? 01:29:31.568 --> 01:29:32.489 Was it Paul McCartney? 01:29:32.689 --> 01:29:33.809 It was Paul McCartney. 01:29:33.829 --> 01:29:34.249 Wow. 01:29:34.350 --> 01:29:35.090 From the Beatles. 01:29:35.210 --> 01:29:36.190 And he was round there. 01:29:36.511 --> 01:29:36.891 Wow. 01:29:36.951 --> 01:29:38.512 And I said, come on, Macca, listen to mine. 01:29:38.532 --> 01:29:39.472 I mean, come on, that's funny. 01:29:39.492 --> 01:29:40.112 Who was it, really? 01:29:40.152 --> 01:29:40.633 Funny stuff. 01:29:40.733 --> 01:29:41.133 It was Dan. 01:29:42.384 --> 01:29:42.784 Oh really? 01:29:42.804 --> 01:29:43.825 He's good on the guitar. 01:29:43.865 --> 01:29:44.886 He's a musical genius. 01:29:44.906 --> 01:29:45.827 He knows his sausages. 01:29:46.067 --> 01:29:46.547 Absolutely. 01:29:46.767 --> 01:29:52.292 So here is, just to remind you folks, these are songs that we've challenged each other to write about national treasures. 01:29:52.372 --> 01:29:55.934 People who are wonderful, you know, national treasures. 01:29:56.234 --> 01:29:56.955 And they are people. 01:29:57.355 --> 01:29:58.376 Joe's Gone for Lumley. 01:29:58.696 --> 01:29:59.677 I Went for Stephen Fry. 01:29:59.717 --> 01:30:00.758 Here's my song about Fry. 01:30:05.523 --> 01:30:28.523 This is a song about Stephen Fry Including well-known facts about his life in the style of early Gary Newman If you were making a documentary about Stephen Fry You could use this song in it to illustrate different bits He was a tear away when he was young 01:30:29.645 --> 01:30:55.298 He was expelled from school and even went to jail He stole a credit card from a family friend But he cleaned up his act and got a scholarship To go to Cambridge University Where he met Hugh Laurie from House He's got a fruity way of talking He uses lots of long words He's nice 01:31:00.063 --> 01:31:00.363 coming. 01:31:02.644 --> 01:31:05.846 He did a lot of sketches with you Laurie from House. 01:31:06.586 --> 01:31:09.348 Both of them were clever and unfashionably. 01:31:09.388 --> 01:31:13.129 Hodge made them perfect for playing chiefs and was stunned. 01:31:13.650 --> 01:31:16.831 It was clear that they were all so good at acting. 01:31:17.291 --> 01:31:19.873 Which of course they've both gone on to do. 01:31:20.113 --> 01:31:22.774 He was marvelous as his hero Oscar Wilde. 01:31:23.274 --> 01:31:26.196 Stephen struggles publicly with his mental health. 01:31:27.315 --> 01:31:52.999 He goes from highs to unbearable lows He's got no program about think that was good For fellow sufferers it was comforting to see They probably won't use this bit in the documentary He's highly intelligent and sensitive And if I was gay I would 01:32:00.063 --> 01:32:03.666 He's a North Miranda playwright and a lovely telly host. 01:32:04.546 --> 01:32:07.409 He's made QI into a massive success. 01:32:07.869 --> 01:32:10.431 Oh, I love dibs of some credit halls so. 01:32:25.961 --> 01:32:31.170 a little bit roughs like Peter's friends and two and Spice World. 01:32:31.270 --> 01:32:32.773 That's the worst you've ever seen. 01:32:38.427 --> 01:32:39.849 That's my Stephen Fry song. 01:32:40.169 --> 01:32:50.378 So we're asking you to vote for either Stephen Fry or Joanna Lumley in our song wars this week and also over and above that we're hoping that we might even get some Fry and Lumley action, right? 01:32:50.579 --> 01:32:52.520 Some kind of response from Fry or Lumley. 01:32:52.620 --> 01:32:53.261 Or their people. 01:32:53.681 --> 01:32:57.765 Lumley lives in the same neck of the woods as you used to and I always have. 01:32:58.926 --> 01:33:00.266 She's a stockwellian, I think. 01:33:00.286 --> 01:33:00.486 Mm-hmm. 01:33:01.247 --> 01:33:03.947 So maybe I could post that CD through her letterbox. 01:33:04.047 --> 01:33:05.308 I would certainly make her day. 01:33:05.468 --> 01:33:06.388 She would be frightened. 01:33:07.128 --> 01:33:08.349 She would be frightened. 01:33:08.369 --> 01:33:09.269 She would be frightened. 01:33:09.289 --> 01:33:13.510 The email address is adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 01:33:13.550 --> 01:33:18.631 Vote for your favourite, either Lumley or Fry, Joe or Adam. 01:33:19.871 --> 01:33:21.712 Yeah, vote for it via email, please. 01:33:22.172 --> 01:33:23.953 Now here's a track before we say goodbye to you. 01:33:24.254 --> 01:33:26.575 This is the Beastie Boys with Fight For Your Right To Party. 01:33:26.815 --> 01:33:29.417 The Beastie Boys with Fight For Your Right To Party. 01:33:29.997 --> 01:33:33.159 You have been listening to Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 01:33:33.239 --> 01:33:34.260 Thanks for listening. 01:33:34.660 --> 01:33:35.881 Yeah, we really appreciate it. 01:33:36.221 --> 01:33:38.002 Thank you for all your texts and emails. 01:33:38.242 --> 01:33:45.207 And don't forget the podcast of the highlights of this show, if they find any, will be available on Monday evening. 01:33:45.667 --> 01:33:54.089 And you can listen to the whole programme again, all three hours, on iPlayer or just by clicking Listen again on the 6 Music website. 01:33:54.109 --> 01:33:56.990 But now here in the studio with us live is Liz Kershaw. 01:33:57.010 --> 01:33:57.450 Hello, Liz. 01:33:57.710 --> 01:33:58.570 Hello, are you filling? 01:33:59.150 --> 01:34:00.870 Yeah, well, we're doing our hand-over. 01:34:01.350 --> 01:34:03.431 You took me DJ hand-over. 01:34:03.551 --> 01:34:08.492 I'm really pleased to be included like last week, but have you got any delicious buffet treats? 01:34:08.632 --> 01:34:09.794 I haven't got no brawn spoons. 01:34:09.814 --> 01:34:10.615 No prawn spoons. 01:34:10.775 --> 01:34:12.797 I came in early because I thought there'd be some grub. 01:34:13.318 --> 01:34:20.267 I thought they might pull the prawn spoons from the interstitials, but I was saddened to see last night that they were still pushing them. 01:34:20.507 --> 01:34:21.909 In the ad, in the TV ad. 01:34:21.989 --> 01:34:22.209 Yeah. 01:34:22.309 --> 01:34:24.012 But Kerry Katona's disappeared. 01:34:24.512 --> 01:34:25.093 No, has she? 01:34:25.473 --> 01:34:26.034 She's not in the TV. 01:34:26.094 --> 01:34:26.854 No, she's still there. 01:34:27.094 --> 01:34:27.335 Yeah. 01:34:27.455 --> 01:34:29.837 Oh, she might be feeling a bit sick because she's had a lot of mini kievs. 01:34:30.077 --> 01:34:30.898 But I didn't see her. 01:34:30.998 --> 01:34:32.459 Your voice, Liz Kershaw. 01:34:32.539 --> 01:34:33.500 It's so good, isn't it? 01:34:33.540 --> 01:34:34.121 Listen to that. 01:34:34.521 --> 01:34:36.062 It's so commanding, don't you think? 01:34:36.243 --> 01:34:36.463 Yeah. 01:34:36.543 --> 01:34:37.804 I mean, you've got... Do you like that voice? 01:34:37.824 --> 01:34:38.364 That DJ voice. 01:34:38.585 --> 01:34:39.265 Do you think so? 01:34:39.405 --> 01:34:40.987 She's a proper DJ, Joe. 01:34:41.007 --> 01:34:43.949 I've had 25 years to... I used to talk like this! 01:34:45.430 --> 01:34:46.431 That's how we should talk. 01:34:46.651 --> 01:34:50.632 But like Margaret Thatcher, you know, with experience, it's been lowered. 01:34:50.872 --> 01:34:51.632 It's commanding. 01:34:51.652 --> 01:34:54.233 I bet you don't say Arminar a lot, do you, on your show? 01:34:54.253 --> 01:34:56.114 What are the kings of Arminar? 01:34:56.134 --> 01:34:56.834 Not usually. 01:34:56.854 --> 01:34:57.754 That wasn't a good start. 01:34:57.814 --> 01:34:59.115 Anyway, are you off for what you're doing today? 01:34:59.175 --> 01:35:00.055 Anything exciting? 01:35:01.495 --> 01:35:03.796 I'm going back home on the train if they're running. 01:35:04.216 --> 01:35:06.377 That should take me no more than about seven hours. 01:35:07.017 --> 01:35:07.797 What are you doing, Joe? 01:35:08.017 --> 01:35:10.198 I'm planning to watch Christine and Near Dark. 01:35:10.778 --> 01:35:12.199 I'm glazing over now, see ya. 01:35:12.339 --> 01:35:13.279 Six music.