WEBVTT 00:00.149 --> 00:03.490 Hello, and welcome to the big, pretty castle! 00:03.610 --> 00:07.091 It's Ike Vadam and Dr. Boardcast on your DigiMox. 00:07.591 --> 00:13.773 God is filling in the Joes in Los Angeles, and apart from that, the show remains the same. 00:13.813 --> 00:14.714 They're tiny bit lame. 00:15.454 --> 00:17.415 Oh, naughty Christmas crackers. 00:17.535 --> 00:18.315 Lovely bit of rock. 00:18.695 --> 00:37.365 little bit of rock there hitting you in the head listeners early in the morning that was Oasis with the shock of the lightning right up in your face I mean that would be the shock of the lightning presumably would be considerable well it's deadly people that you know die and continue to die from the lightning but it only happens once so you're all right yeah 00:37.965 --> 00:38.626 Yeah, that's true. 00:38.826 --> 00:39.587 Only strikes once. 00:39.987 --> 00:42.670 Unfortunately, we're gonna be playing that quite a lot, though, I imagine. 00:43.350 --> 00:46.473 So it doesn't apply to that particular track. 00:46.854 --> 00:47.754 I thought that was good, though. 00:48.315 --> 00:48.675 Did you? 00:49.276 --> 00:49.456 Good. 00:51.418 --> 00:51.758 No, it is. 00:51.778 --> 00:52.639 I take it you did too. 00:52.759 --> 00:53.560 It's invigorating. 00:53.880 --> 00:58.143 But I feel like I, you know, at this stage in my life, I feel like I want to pick a fight with Oasis, you know what I mean? 00:58.523 --> 01:02.866 I just want to pick a fight, because I think they've got to a certain point now where they're getting a bit dodgy. 01:03.187 --> 01:04.187 But that happened last week. 01:04.247 --> 01:07.630 Somebody jumped on stage, picked a fight, and he got beaten up by them. 01:07.810 --> 01:08.811 Not a physical fight. 01:09.311 --> 01:13.114 I still feel that they can handle themselves a little bit. 01:14.274 --> 01:15.755 I reckon they'd take you down, Buxton. 01:15.896 --> 01:16.856 I think they probably would, yeah. 01:16.936 --> 01:19.778 But I know what you mean about sort of feeling a bit agitated by all. 01:20.078 --> 01:20.259 Yeah. 01:20.959 --> 01:22.380 Anyway, listen, listeners. 01:23.141 --> 01:23.881 Let's get over it. 01:24.002 --> 01:25.423 Yeah, it's all fine. 01:25.963 --> 01:26.844 This is Adam here. 01:27.004 --> 01:27.805 Hello, this is Garth. 01:27.845 --> 01:32.689 I'm still standing in for Joe, who's still in America, although I think he's going to be coming in on the telephone later. 01:32.709 --> 01:33.049 Is that right? 01:33.109 --> 01:35.611 Yeah, we're going to be speaking to him within the next half an hour. 01:35.651 --> 01:37.773 We have his hotel number. 01:37.933 --> 01:39.094 I'm going to give him a call. 01:39.174 --> 01:39.614 It's sweet. 01:40.035 --> 01:42.837 It is five past one in the morning. 01:43.177 --> 01:44.858 He might have just got back from his party. 01:44.878 --> 01:46.240 Los Angeles, yes, exactly. 01:47.200 --> 01:48.241 So we're gonna be finding out what he's doing. 01:48.281 --> 01:58.529 We did brag about the fact that we were gonna have him on Like an ISDN line last week, but that turned out not to be possible Because of the crunch probably. 01:58.569 --> 01:59.170 It's the crunch. 01:59.950 --> 02:00.711 It's everywhere. 02:00.771 --> 02:01.552 It's almost everything. 02:01.872 --> 02:02.572 Crunch is fault. 02:02.612 --> 02:10.078 Speaking of which we're gonna be resolving our crunch song wars this week We're gonna be finding out who won the crunching songs. 02:10.198 --> 02:13.241 Well, you made the best one and in fact, you've redone one of them, haven't you? 02:13.761 --> 02:21.506 Well, I don't know how the vote is going to go, obviously, but just in case I take it, I finished off my first one. 02:21.606 --> 02:25.788 I did a kind of insane, operatic, musical-type one. 02:25.848 --> 02:32.412 Yeah, but you rubbish that at the time, and then all the emails that were coming through, because I was sitting next to the email computer, they were all saying, oh, that was the best one. 02:32.632 --> 02:34.474 That was the best one, and you'd thrown it in the bin. 02:34.634 --> 02:37.255 But I'm glad you picked it out of the bin and tidied it up a bit. 02:37.275 --> 02:38.316 I persevered with it. 02:38.716 --> 02:43.718 Anyway, we'll be finding out about that in the second half hour this morning. 02:44.079 --> 02:45.399 Of course, we've got Text the Nation. 02:46.340 --> 02:48.361 We've got all sorts of little nuggets for you as well. 02:48.381 --> 02:49.221 We've made some stuff. 02:49.261 --> 02:55.924 Yeah, we've been making things for you folks, so stay tuned for the next two hours and 53 minutes. 02:56.184 --> 02:59.586 We've got great music as well, of course, some of which we've chosen ourselves. 03:00.486 --> 03:11.409 Other other bits of which have just been chosen for us by the geniuses at six music This is a track right now that has been re-released It's by M.I.A. 03:11.569 --> 03:12.529 Or you can call her Maya. 03:12.569 --> 03:13.309 Is she called Maya? 03:13.629 --> 03:20.691 I think in real life she's called Maya, but it's M.I.A as an artist, right, right, you know standing for missing action. 03:20.731 --> 03:21.451 Yeah, presumably. 03:21.491 --> 03:21.651 Yeah 03:22.371 --> 03:27.777 And this track has been re-released because you say Garth- It's- I think it's on the soundtrack for Pineapple Express. 03:28.298 --> 03:29.499 Which is so hot right now. 03:29.759 --> 03:30.380 So hot. 03:30.420 --> 03:32.682 Cause it's so hot right now and it's funny. 03:32.863 --> 03:35.525 It's a new week and it's another Seth Rogen movie. 03:35.606 --> 03:37.628 Yeah, it's a Judd Apatow movie. 03:37.768 --> 03:38.409 Have you seen it yet? 03:38.549 --> 03:39.089 No, I haven't. 03:39.310 --> 03:40.090 It looks quite good. 03:41.151 --> 03:42.812 Um, I'm sure it's what are they doing? 03:42.832 --> 03:43.792 They're running around again. 03:43.972 --> 03:48.474 They yeah, it's a bit like a sort of midnight run crossed with teaching Chong, right? 03:48.754 --> 03:48.854 Good. 03:48.894 --> 03:49.854 That wasn't a bad pitch. 03:49.894 --> 03:50.434 Was it good? 03:50.674 --> 03:51.895 I've got to work on my pitching. 03:52.255 --> 04:01.378 So here's mia with paper planes mia with paper planes This is adam and garth here on bbc6 music garth is sitting in for joe who's in 04:02.098 --> 04:11.886 Los Angeles and we're going to call Joe, I think maybe after the next bit of music, which is a free play and I've chosen this one for you listeners. 04:12.127 --> 04:13.488 This is from Love. 04:14.529 --> 04:15.830 Are you aware of Love, Garth? 04:16.470 --> 04:18.112 I was gonna make a joke. 04:18.232 --> 04:19.893 No, I'm not aware of the band Love, no. 04:20.033 --> 04:21.595 Do you need some love? 04:22.055 --> 04:23.176 I need some love. 04:23.496 --> 04:25.297 a little bit of love. 04:25.557 --> 04:33.483 Well, you know, they created one of the all-time classic albums of the entire world that regularly tops Best of album lists. 04:33.663 --> 04:33.963 Really? 04:34.183 --> 04:39.847 Forever Changes by Love, which is a strange, wonderful, and weird rock album. 04:40.387 --> 04:41.328 I've never heard of that. 04:41.348 --> 04:52.395 A little bit psychedelic, a little bit weird, has the lyrics, well, the snot has caked upon my pants. 04:53.937 --> 04:54.497 At one point. 04:54.818 --> 04:55.959 That sounds like one of yours. 04:56.139 --> 04:56.920 I know, it's amazing. 04:56.940 --> 05:00.844 And this is the number one Mojo magazine type album. 05:01.285 --> 05:05.610 Yeah, I mean not just Mojo, that's a classic album right there, Forever Changes. 05:05.770 --> 05:07.252 Arthur Lee, have you heard of Arthur Lee? 05:07.592 --> 05:09.614 What have you been doing for the last 200 years? 05:09.634 --> 05:12.898 Arthur, who is the Arthur that did I Am The God of Hellfire and I Bring You Fire? 05:13.098 --> 05:13.658 Arthur Brown. 05:13.718 --> 05:14.298 Arthur Brown. 05:14.598 --> 05:16.079 Arthur Brown, I know all his stuff. 05:16.139 --> 05:16.999 Crazy Arthur Brown. 05:17.059 --> 05:18.099 Now Arthur Lee never acted. 05:18.159 --> 05:22.040 Arthur Lee was a little bit of a wayward character as well. 05:22.120 --> 05:23.680 Sounds like a little shaky chap. 05:23.780 --> 05:24.200 Arthur Lee. 05:24.440 --> 05:34.463 No, he was American and he is credited with, or rather he's not credited so much, with inspiring Jimi Hendrix's whole sartorial bag, basically. 05:34.543 --> 05:36.483 Arthur Lee was dressing up in all that groovy 05:37.083 --> 05:44.065 psychedelic threads way before Hendrix and Hendrix came across him when Hendrix was quite a snappily dressed young man. 05:44.105 --> 05:47.326 It's like they're Cyndi Lauper to Madonna's styling. 05:47.586 --> 05:48.906 Cyndi Lauper was always very angry. 05:49.106 --> 05:49.747 That's true. 05:49.767 --> 05:51.907 That Madonna sort of took her thing and ran with it. 05:52.027 --> 05:53.708 It's exactly the similar. 05:54.588 --> 05:56.889 I'm just trying to cross over to the pop people in the world there. 05:56.909 --> 05:57.669 Yeah, there you go. 05:57.689 --> 05:59.369 That's more your area really, isn't it? 05:59.389 --> 06:00.009 Yeah, Cyndi Lauper. 06:00.870 --> 06:05.691 In classic album lists, you'd be voting for... What is the classic Cyndi Lauper album to get? 06:06.131 --> 06:06.672 Oh, I don't know. 06:06.692 --> 06:07.513 Yes, you do. 06:07.853 --> 06:09.015 No, I don't. 06:10.757 --> 06:20.347 But anyway, I chose this love track because it's not on Forever Changes and I heard it at the end of a show called Entourage, you know, Entourage? 06:20.367 --> 06:20.528 Yes. 06:20.948 --> 06:22.250 If you've ever watched that show, it's great. 06:22.290 --> 06:25.154 In fact, it's one of your things that you've recommended to me, like The Wire. 06:25.574 --> 06:27.196 And I'd say, oh, no, it won't be any good. 06:27.276 --> 06:28.858 And then I watch it and then I can't stop watching it. 06:28.878 --> 06:30.200 Well, The Wire is a safe bet. 06:30.240 --> 06:34.526 You know, most people know that The Wire is great, but Entourage is one of those weird ones. 06:34.546 --> 06:36.007 You know, it's an American show about these 06:36.768 --> 06:52.000 about this little kind of mini brat pack, this little posse of a famous bloke, Vinnie Chase, and his little gang of acolytes, his old friends from back home that he lives with in this house in Los Angeles, and they basically have lots of fun and everything more or less goes right for them. 06:52.040 --> 06:53.080 That's what I like about it. 06:53.120 --> 06:53.341 Yeah. 06:53.601 --> 06:54.301 It goes well. 06:54.401 --> 06:55.522 Everything just goes really, really well. 06:55.542 --> 06:57.824 So most telly and films are all about how bad things are. 06:58.024 --> 07:04.927 Now, this is all about Vinnie Chase and how brilliant he is, and how brilliant his life is, and how successful he is, and that he just keeps getting more successful. 07:05.228 --> 07:07.849 At least he does through the first three series of entourage. 07:07.869 --> 07:09.430 We're on series five now, I think. 07:09.930 --> 07:14.052 And series four, there was a dramatic drop-off in quality, in my opinion. 07:14.452 --> 07:16.433 It suddenly became not in any way enjoyable. 07:16.713 --> 07:18.434 Was it in quality or just plotline? 07:18.454 --> 07:19.715 Did it just go all the bits out? 07:19.795 --> 07:21.196 Everything just went rubbish. 07:21.476 --> 07:23.217 It just took a nosedive. 07:23.477 --> 07:30.441 It was weird, like, I don't know if all the writing teams swapped over or what, but it just... The credit crunch, again, it touches everything. 07:30.581 --> 07:31.001 Maybe. 07:31.021 --> 07:32.402 Just stripping it back. 07:32.562 --> 07:34.503 It was pre-writer's strike, though, so I don't know. 07:35.604 --> 07:37.445 And, uh, Series 5 is not much better. 07:37.586 --> 07:40.988 But good music, they've got, including this track by Love. 07:41.028 --> 07:42.329 This is 7 and 7 Is. 07:42.569 --> 07:45.411 That's The Stow Roses, of course, with Sally Cinnamon. 07:45.931 --> 07:49.894 And before the trail, you heard 7 and 7 Is by Love. 07:50.294 --> 07:52.996 This is Adam and Garth here on BBC 6 Music. 07:53.516 --> 07:58.500 Uh, Garth is Garth Jennings, the acclaimed pop video and film director. 07:59.000 --> 08:00.421 Also a close friend of the show. 08:00.981 --> 08:02.002 And- I love you, man. 08:02.022 --> 08:03.043 Uh, easy. 08:04.203 --> 08:09.005 He's here filling in for Joe who is still indisposed. 08:09.305 --> 08:10.886 But we have him on the telephone. 08:10.906 --> 08:11.606 Hey, Joe. 08:12.306 --> 08:13.887 Now look here, you two. 08:13.907 --> 08:19.469 First things first, you can't call it Adam and Garth. 08:19.709 --> 08:22.430 You've got to call it Adam and Joe featuring Garth. 08:22.970 --> 08:24.971 While you're away, I'm just taking over. 08:25.151 --> 08:27.212 And let me tell you, things are going to change around here. 08:27.642 --> 08:29.544 Well, listen, Garth Jennings. 08:30.184 --> 08:42.054 There's a precedent, isn't there, with shows where, you know, maybe one of the people gets ill or maybe has to go away on spurious work-related travels. 08:42.414 --> 08:43.134 Yeah. 08:43.335 --> 08:48.779 Isn't there a way to describe that without actually objecting that person's name from the title of the show? 08:48.799 --> 08:50.680 Well, yes, but that's only if you go once. 08:50.901 --> 08:52.322 You've been away for years. 08:52.702 --> 08:53.963 I forfeited that right. 08:54.003 --> 08:55.624 You've gone and I'm in. 08:56.545 --> 08:56.885 It's true. 08:56.945 --> 08:59.647 It's like last week was fair enough. 08:59.787 --> 09:02.869 This week, you know, we're doing new jingles. 09:03.570 --> 09:05.491 We're dressing goth in your clothes. 09:06.672 --> 09:09.614 He's got a later on where we're teaching him to say certain things. 09:10.414 --> 09:12.376 He's moving in with your girlfriend this weekend. 09:12.396 --> 09:13.597 I don't know if you realize that. 09:14.077 --> 09:16.198 So it's all basically, that's the way it's going to go. 09:16.218 --> 09:22.763 It's going to be like when, I've forgotten all English people's names, but when 09:23.383 --> 09:25.646 Oh, what was that Channel 5 chat show host? 09:26.126 --> 09:27.708 And Graham Norton filled in for him. 09:28.309 --> 09:29.690 And he won all the awards. 09:30.491 --> 09:32.634 Do you remember what was he called Jack Docherty? 09:32.914 --> 09:33.314 Right. 09:33.515 --> 09:34.556 That's right, actually, yes. 09:34.836 --> 09:40.102 He went off and then Norton came in with his jolly pixie-like camp ways. 09:40.879 --> 09:43.180 And he steam-rolled a doggity out of showbiz. 09:43.640 --> 09:47.781 Well, I'm bringing my pixie camp ways into this studio. 09:47.801 --> 09:51.223 And I'm going to try and- You brought your camp pixies with you. 09:51.263 --> 09:52.963 Yes, I brought a bunch of camp pixies. 09:53.203 --> 09:56.004 I'm going camping with some pixies later and I brought them with me. 09:56.304 --> 09:59.885 So listen, Joe, moving swiftly on from the pixies. 10:00.186 --> 10:00.526 Sorry. 10:01.206 --> 10:03.827 That's alright, I'm just getting a bit jealous of all the, you know, I want some pixies. 10:03.847 --> 10:07.268 Can I just say something, but this doesn't feel as if this is on the radio. 10:07.768 --> 10:08.008 I know. 10:08.088 --> 10:10.029 It feels like I'm talking to you on the phone. 10:10.209 --> 10:11.569 Well, tell us where you are. 10:11.829 --> 10:15.370 I'm just in my bedroom in a hotel in Los Angeles. 10:15.410 --> 10:20.031 I've got the people talking about the presidential debate, analysing it on the telly. 10:20.731 --> 10:25.853 But it just feels like I'm talking to you on the phone and I'm tempted to swear or act casually. 10:25.873 --> 10:30.054 I keep having to remind myself that this is on radio, isn't it? 10:30.334 --> 10:30.814 It's real. 10:30.854 --> 10:31.774 It's live on radio. 10:31.874 --> 10:33.175 It's 1.25 in the morning there, right? 10:34.682 --> 10:35.643 Yeah, something like that. 10:36.023 --> 10:39.166 And you're out there, you're working at the moment, is that correct? 10:39.467 --> 10:42.249 Yes, and that's important that we make that clear. 10:43.030 --> 10:44.992 I'm working, not on holiday. 10:45.012 --> 10:58.745 I'm working very hard to try and scrape a living because as people know, and in fact there's been some chat about this on the podcast, we get paid 30 pence a week to do the six music show, is that right? 10:59.315 --> 11:01.899 Well, it's going up to 40 when our contracts really go straight. 11:01.919 --> 11:02.039 Right. 11:02.059 --> 11:02.720 Oh yes, we did, didn't we? 11:15.843 --> 11:16.943 Um, I have to say, not yet. 11:17.444 --> 11:21.365 Well, I hear, I officially declare that you should get that 20 pence. 11:21.645 --> 11:23.325 I've got no claim on it. 11:23.345 --> 11:25.166 And you can spend it however you want. 11:25.506 --> 11:27.106 I think I may have spent it getting here. 11:27.406 --> 11:27.866 So listen. 11:27.886 --> 11:28.407 There you go. 11:28.527 --> 11:29.627 Buy yourself a Caramax. 11:30.367 --> 11:32.868 It's neither chocolate nor white chocolate or toffee. 11:32.888 --> 11:34.768 It's somewhere in between. 11:34.968 --> 11:36.249 More than 20p though, isn't it? 11:36.269 --> 11:37.409 You're right. 11:37.989 --> 11:41.530 After a couple of weeks filling in, you can buy yourself a Caramax. 11:41.590 --> 11:43.551 It's generous of me to be away for so long. 11:44.236 --> 11:45.877 So listen, Joe, we're gonna play some music right now. 11:45.897 --> 11:49.099 We're gonna play the Jack White song, Another Way to Die, the Bond theme. 11:49.620 --> 11:52.482 And after that, we're gonna come back and find out what you've been up to. 11:52.502 --> 11:53.642 That's exciting. 11:54.223 --> 11:56.284 So here's Jack White with the song. 11:56.584 --> 11:56.865 Cool. 11:57.085 --> 11:59.626 He's thrown everything into a pot there and stirred it around. 11:59.666 --> 12:01.728 That's Jack White with Another Way to Die. 12:01.748 --> 12:06.371 This is Adam and Joe on BBC 6 Music with Garth filling in for Joe. 12:06.391 --> 12:07.011 You still there, Joe? 12:07.492 --> 12:09.593 Yeah, thanks for announcing it properly there. 12:09.913 --> 12:10.573 Yeah, it's okay. 12:10.593 --> 12:13.114 I only do it that way because you're actually on the line later on. 12:13.134 --> 12:13.974 I'll go back to the other way. 12:14.595 --> 12:16.755 But we've got to go to the news now, Joe. 12:16.775 --> 12:17.816 I forgot all about the news. 12:17.836 --> 12:17.916 Why? 12:18.296 --> 12:22.597 Because apparently there's things happening in the world that are... What could be more important than this conversation? 12:22.617 --> 12:23.798 It seems unbelievable, doesn't it? 12:23.818 --> 12:25.298 But we're going to find out very shortly. 12:25.338 --> 12:27.859 So we'll come back to you after the news and a bit of music. 12:27.879 --> 12:29.800 Stay tuned, listeners, for Joe News. 12:30.140 --> 12:31.881 But first, here is the world news. 12:32.301 --> 12:32.681 Oh, dear. 12:32.701 --> 12:34.021 Just ran out of power at the end. 12:34.161 --> 12:35.422 I can't be asking the last bit. 12:35.842 --> 12:37.783 That is... Oh, well, shut up. 12:38.403 --> 12:39.004 No, get out. 12:39.024 --> 12:39.604 What are you doing? 12:39.624 --> 12:40.905 That's completely unprofessional. 12:41.665 --> 12:43.526 Chatting at the end of that and laughing. 12:43.566 --> 12:44.507 That's booty for you. 12:44.527 --> 12:45.267 Was that Collins? 12:45.787 --> 12:47.048 All over the place at Collins. 12:47.068 --> 12:48.089 He's a total disgrace. 12:49.009 --> 12:53.211 You know, that song would be better, I think, if it was called Groovers in the Heart. 12:53.411 --> 12:53.972 You know what I mean? 12:54.412 --> 12:56.053 Like, just a lot of little groovers. 12:56.853 --> 12:59.995 and they're in there and they're having a good time, cos that's what the video looks a bit like, you know? 13:00.015 --> 13:00.715 I love that video. 13:00.935 --> 13:02.876 And that song and everything, it just reminds me of Art School. 13:02.977 --> 13:03.877 Lady Miskir. 13:04.417 --> 13:05.958 She was a desirable creature. 13:06.258 --> 13:09.300 But she was one of those people in real life who didn't quite hold up as well. 13:09.360 --> 13:09.900 Not really, no. 13:09.980 --> 13:11.821 It's a horrible thing to say, I can't believe I said that. 13:11.841 --> 13:13.042 Stay grooving around in the heart. 13:13.242 --> 13:16.104 I know that's unusually, um, horrible for you, Garth. 13:16.144 --> 13:16.364 Yeah. 13:16.844 --> 13:18.445 Well, one of the world's nicest people. 13:18.465 --> 13:20.706 Well, no, underneath it's all pure evil. 13:21.327 --> 13:21.647 Evil. 13:21.767 --> 13:22.908 Pure evil. 13:23.328 --> 13:24.068 Speaking of pure evil. 13:24.288 --> 13:25.209 Speaking of pure evil. 13:26.349 --> 13:26.850 Joe! 13:27.190 --> 13:41.095 On the line we have Joe Cornish, formerly of the Adam and Joe radio program, now of Los Angeles, friend of Lemmy and Pamela Anderson, all the other people that live in Los Angeles. 13:41.335 --> 13:43.636 Who have you been hanging out with this week that you can tell us about, Joe? 13:43.656 --> 13:44.516 Or who have you spotted? 13:44.576 --> 13:45.276 How about that? 13:45.756 --> 13:46.877 Many famous people. 13:48.217 --> 13:52.459 I actually had a very enjoyable dinner with amongst other people. 13:53.140 --> 13:58.122 popular six-music DJ Stephen Merchant, who's also chosen not to turn up for his show. 13:58.142 --> 14:00.603 Right, they're all just going out and having fun in LA. 14:00.843 --> 14:07.205 I think he directed an episode of The American Office, and was possibly out here for the Emmys that were last weekend. 14:07.685 --> 14:19.470 But you know, in relation to God, what you were just saying about being rude about the lady, one of the topics of conversations between Stephen and me was post-radio show depression. 14:21.151 --> 14:28.096 And we were both saying that sometimes after an exciting six-music show, we come home and we feel strangely depressed. 14:28.536 --> 14:28.776 Right. 14:29.077 --> 14:31.178 And we've talked about this, Adam, haven't we? 14:31.198 --> 14:32.539 No, I don't know what you're talking about. 14:32.959 --> 14:36.261 And it's usually because you've said something that you regret. 14:36.562 --> 14:36.782 Yeah. 14:37.506 --> 14:40.568 light goth being rude about the lady from Groove is in the heart. 14:41.129 --> 14:42.150 Is that what the band's called? 14:42.210 --> 14:45.132 No, the band's called Delight, but don't worry. 14:45.152 --> 14:49.015 Yeah, well, you know, that's the nature of radio though, isn't it? 14:49.055 --> 14:53.798 You have to fill space and your mouth tends to work a little faster than your brain sometimes. 14:54.539 --> 14:56.540 We decided it was like being a rock star. 14:57.321 --> 15:04.186 And this just transitioned from going to speaking to lots of people and every word you say having importance to just going home 15:04.761 --> 15:08.146 and no one caring about you or listening to you is just sometimes too much to bear. 15:08.166 --> 15:10.830 So you sink into deep depression. 15:11.932 --> 15:15.937 But listen man, what have you been up to out there apart from worrying about things you've said on the radio? 15:16.659 --> 15:20.204 Well, just working really, but I've seen films and I've watched a lot of telly. 15:20.905 --> 15:22.887 What's the most exciting film you have seen? 15:23.287 --> 15:29.592 I have seen, uh, I've seen Tropic Thunder and Pineapple Express and Burn After Reading. 15:30.532 --> 15:31.293 I've seen lots of them. 15:31.313 --> 15:32.914 What was Burn After Reading like? 15:33.174 --> 15:34.455 What was Burn After Reading like? 15:34.836 --> 15:35.576 It's very good. 15:35.876 --> 15:36.457 Very funny. 15:36.477 --> 15:37.598 Slightly depressing. 15:37.618 --> 15:38.939 A little bit nihilistic. 15:39.219 --> 15:41.320 It's the new Coen- The new Coen Brothers film. 15:41.801 --> 15:42.181 Yeah. 15:42.221 --> 15:43.562 I'm so pleased to hear it's good. 15:43.922 --> 15:45.584 I thought it was- It's got Brad Pitt in it. 15:45.644 --> 15:46.624 Right, right, right. 15:46.905 --> 15:48.426 Doing comedy and he's very good. 15:49.332 --> 15:54.714 But I just feel like a showbiz reporter on some terrible radio station now. 15:55.134 --> 15:57.754 Well, what else have you got for us then? 15:58.275 --> 16:03.076 Well, the most exciting thing I've watched is the David Blaine three-hour magic special. 16:03.096 --> 16:04.336 Has that been on British Tele? 16:04.696 --> 16:06.437 No, but he's hanging upside down, isn't he? 16:06.617 --> 16:06.957 As we speak. 16:06.977 --> 16:10.378 Yeah, no, it all came to an amazingly disappointing climax. 16:10.458 --> 16:12.199 He's gonna have massive eyes in a minute. 16:12.559 --> 16:13.439 He did for a while. 16:13.539 --> 16:16.540 Basically, what he said he was gonna do was hang upside down like a bat. 16:17.150 --> 16:46.763 from a frame work thing about forty feet high in the middle of first central park the woman ice rink he was gonna hang upside down uh... force sixty hours or something and then after that he was going to be called to the top of the structure and then he was going to perform a mysterious piece of magic he described as the dive of death so they turned this into a three-hour television spectacle uh... that went out live a couple of nights ago and in the bottom left hand corner they had a countdown clock to the to the dive of death 16:47.757 --> 16:52.340 And they intercut shots of him hanging upside down with stuff of some new street magic. 16:53.120 --> 17:02.386 The clock ticked down, and frankly, after two hours and 55 minutes of the countdown, I was in a frenzied state of magic-based excitement. 17:03.427 --> 17:06.869 I loved magic, and I was desperate to see David do his trick. 17:07.950 --> 17:09.170 But it went kind of wrong. 17:10.151 --> 17:15.014 And I would encourage people to do a search by David Blaine or Dive of Death on YouTube, 17:15.481 --> 17:20.765 and have a look at some of the footage that's been posted by people who were there of the dive of death. 17:20.785 --> 17:34.914 Because what happened is he jumped off this podium and then was sort of suspended by a rope about six inches above the ground where he proceeded to sort of dangle looking embarrassed. 17:35.915 --> 17:38.337 And this massive crowd of people started booing him. 17:39.637 --> 17:45.165 And he waved and looked rather sheepish, and then suddenly started being hoisted upwards again. 17:45.385 --> 17:47.207 Everyone went silent, very confused. 17:47.888 --> 17:53.216 And then he sort of floated up into the air, sort of slowly, and no one knew what was supposed to happen. 17:53.777 --> 17:58.460 So we didn't know whether this was, you know, what he'd planned or whether it was going wrong. 17:58.720 --> 17:59.721 You know what it sounds like? 17:59.961 --> 18:06.825 It's very similar to when you do quite a gelatinous spit, a bit of a gob, you know what I mean? 18:07.126 --> 18:19.934 And you're able to, you get a certain type of consistency after you've been drinking a fizzy drink or whatever, that you can do like a really long string of drool that you're able to then suck back up into your mouth at a certain point. 18:20.294 --> 18:21.995 And it feels strange because it's all cold. 18:22.035 --> 18:22.775 The drool of death. 18:22.955 --> 18:24.655 That's what David was after, really. 18:25.316 --> 18:28.697 That's what they should have called it, the human loogie. 18:29.397 --> 18:38.920 But the twist was he then floated into the air above and beyond the structure that was supposed to be a sort of magical David Copperfield-style flying feat. 18:39.656 --> 18:44.319 But unfortunately, the flash bulbs of the onlookers illuminated eight big helium balloons. 18:45.040 --> 18:45.560 Right. 18:45.660 --> 18:46.801 Which he was tied to. 18:46.821 --> 18:50.264 He just ended up looking a bit stupid. 18:50.624 --> 18:53.506 And then the announcer said David has vanished into the air. 18:54.232 --> 19:04.936 And that comment was met with boos and jeers of derision because the crowd could clearly see David landing quite safely in the park about a hundred yards away, being untied from his balloon. 19:05.136 --> 19:11.219 He's been hoisted into the air like Dr. Snuggles by a large gang of balloons. 19:12.059 --> 19:13.180 Man, that sounds wonderful. 19:13.200 --> 19:15.481 I'm going to go and look at that on YouTube later on. 19:15.941 --> 19:21.023 Will you stick with us, Joe, through this next track and give us one more bit of LA-style gossip? 19:21.440 --> 19:21.880 Of course. 19:22.060 --> 19:23.200 I'll try and think of something. 19:23.660 --> 19:25.281 Okay, now, Garth, is this your choice? 19:25.401 --> 19:25.461 No. 19:25.501 --> 19:26.681 Oh, it's nothing to do with me. 19:26.961 --> 19:28.481 Ah, now, I've got to get this right this time. 19:28.862 --> 19:30.462 I thought it was, the band was called Death. 19:30.642 --> 19:33.782 It's, the band is called White Lies, and this track is called Death. 19:34.023 --> 19:35.763 I mean, that does sound very 80s, doesn't it? 19:35.943 --> 19:36.743 Yeah, it does, very. 19:37.223 --> 19:39.464 That's almost like sort of psychedelic furs. 19:39.884 --> 19:41.124 Psychedelic furs is perfect. 19:41.144 --> 19:42.524 I was trying to think of the band just then. 19:42.584 --> 19:44.645 Mixed in with a bit of Whitesnake or something. 19:44.665 --> 19:45.965 That little bit of whiny. 19:46.665 --> 19:51.110 Uh, that was White Lies, however, with... That's not the name of the track. 19:51.450 --> 19:51.930 Uh, Death. 19:51.990 --> 19:53.692 That was just a... I was clearing my throat there. 19:54.052 --> 19:57.095 But sooner or later, a band will call their... themselves. 19:58.497 --> 20:02.340 Well, it was a bit like that track... by the Crash Systems. 20:04.650 --> 20:06.732 You're the only man I know who can hit that note. 20:07.353 --> 20:07.853 That's brilliant. 20:07.953 --> 20:08.514 I can't do it. 20:08.534 --> 20:09.795 It just sounds like I'm burping. 20:14.280 --> 20:17.203 I'm a system now. 20:17.243 --> 20:17.583 Go ahead. 20:17.783 --> 20:24.450 Yeah, but there's some of course you've got the band who were just three exclamation marks, but they were known as chick chick chick weren't they? 20:24.750 --> 20:28.613 And there was, before underworld or underworld, they were a strange symbol, like, weren't they? 20:28.693 --> 20:30.474 Or something like... Yes, that's right. 20:30.594 --> 20:31.655 Frrrr, they were no less. 20:31.735 --> 20:32.075 Frrrr. 20:32.295 --> 20:34.076 But you couldn't write it, you had to have a shape. 20:34.176 --> 20:37.518 It was, it looked a little like an at with a squiggle at the end. 20:37.679 --> 20:38.679 Drove everybody mad. 20:38.699 --> 20:39.580 Brilliant. 20:40.060 --> 20:45.604 And how will you represent... No idea, actually. 20:46.104 --> 20:50.187 I draw like a cross-section of a man's face, you know when they show how your throat works? 20:50.227 --> 20:50.447 Right. 20:50.667 --> 20:51.207 I draw that. 20:52.088 --> 20:53.129 That's, I don't know. 20:53.249 --> 20:54.150 I'm just riffing here. 20:55.231 --> 20:56.893 So, Joe, are you still there? 20:57.453 --> 20:57.774 Yeah. 20:58.154 --> 21:00.596 The band Fro, that single was called Doot Doot. 21:00.777 --> 21:01.838 It's actually very good. 21:01.858 --> 21:02.578 Yeah, it's brilliant. 21:03.079 --> 21:04.520 You should play it next week, maybe. 21:05.701 --> 21:07.703 That might be going a little bit too far. 21:08.004 --> 21:08.664 No, it is good. 21:08.684 --> 21:09.225 It is good. 21:09.385 --> 21:10.666 You even got their album, didn't you? 21:11.087 --> 21:12.968 Oh, no, I had the single on Seven Inch. 21:13.249 --> 21:13.449 Right. 21:13.911 --> 21:16.192 And I played it quite recently and it was really quite good. 21:16.512 --> 21:17.012 It's great. 21:17.713 --> 21:18.913 He's, uh... Play it! 21:19.173 --> 21:19.774 Yeah, alright then. 21:19.934 --> 21:22.255 I don't think Darren Emerson was with them when they did Doot Doot. 21:22.275 --> 21:24.376 I think he joined in the underworld days. 21:24.696 --> 21:25.456 This isn't Doop. 21:25.776 --> 21:26.517 The other one that was... No. 21:26.537 --> 21:34.480 Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot 21:34.602 --> 21:35.703 That's why I left the country. 21:36.884 --> 21:38.206 I still want to play that one. 21:38.246 --> 21:39.787 Isn't that all right to bring out now? 21:39.828 --> 21:43.191 Hasn't that sort of passed the, you know, it's into the nice... The stink by date. 21:43.351 --> 21:44.292 The stink by date. 21:44.352 --> 21:47.295 It's actually gone past it into another realm of niceness. 21:47.395 --> 21:48.256 Into wickosity. 21:48.597 --> 21:48.817 Yeah. 21:48.937 --> 21:51.920 Yeah, maybe I'm gonna push for that one to be played next week. 21:52.201 --> 21:53.982 So did you enjoy Tropic Thunder then, Joe? 21:54.603 --> 21:56.125 Yes, I did enjoy it very much. 21:56.906 --> 21:58.868 It's the most expensive comedy ever made. 21:58.888 --> 21:59.628 That's not true. 21:59.869 --> 22:00.609 How much did it cost? 22:01.130 --> 22:02.971 It cost over a hundred million apparently. 22:03.031 --> 22:04.012 You're joking! 22:04.072 --> 22:06.874 It's astonishing and the weird thing is it's mostly set in the jungle. 22:07.395 --> 22:11.078 So they packed the whole a hundred million dollars into the first 20 minutes. 22:12.185 --> 22:13.566 and Tom Cruise's makeup. 22:14.107 --> 22:15.688 Right, his rubbish makeup. 22:15.968 --> 22:16.929 You've seen it, haven't you Adam? 22:16.989 --> 22:23.535 Yeah, I mean it was funny and Cruise was especially chucklesome, I thought, but that makeup is no good. 22:23.635 --> 22:27.938 That's not a hundred million dollars worth of makeup budget they've got there for the makeup. 22:28.038 --> 22:28.779 What have they done to him? 22:28.979 --> 22:32.082 He just looks like French and Saunders in their daft fat suit. 22:32.142 --> 22:33.503 Oh, he's a fat Tom Cruise. 22:33.563 --> 22:36.105 Yeah, he looks like a big Harvey Weinstein guy or whatever. 22:36.305 --> 22:36.685 Okay. 22:36.805 --> 22:39.007 He's got big massive freakish arms. 22:39.908 --> 22:41.569 And he sort of grooves around. 22:41.649 --> 22:45.993 But that's the other thing, is that he grooves around in a way that is clearly the way of a thin man. 22:46.013 --> 22:46.713 Do you know what I mean? 22:47.134 --> 22:50.136 Like a big fat man would have to lumber a bit more. 22:50.156 --> 22:56.741 And I was thinking, Cruise, an actor of his caliber, should have factored that into the whole preparation process, shouldn't he? 22:57.042 --> 22:58.583 Or am I taking it too seriously? 22:59.523 --> 23:02.565 I think you might be taking it too seriously, but it must be fun to wear a fat suit. 23:02.926 --> 23:04.647 I think Tom Cruise is just having a good time. 23:05.147 --> 23:09.389 Yeah, but for a hundred million dollar movie, you can't have a good time, Garth. 23:09.449 --> 23:10.390 It's too much at stake. 23:10.410 --> 23:11.431 That's my point. 23:11.751 --> 23:12.491 What do you think, Joe? 23:13.352 --> 23:13.892 I agree. 23:14.112 --> 23:17.774 I think that's too much money to spend on something as frivolous as comedy. 23:18.535 --> 23:20.156 It should be spent on something important. 23:20.518 --> 23:21.318 Exactly like what? 23:22.419 --> 23:25.240 Uh, like something written by me. 23:25.620 --> 23:26.461 Yes! 23:27.141 --> 23:27.521 Or you. 23:27.842 --> 23:28.422 Or Adam. 23:29.662 --> 23:30.643 Or any child. 23:32.084 --> 23:36.346 Later on, Joe, we're going to be talking a bit about making the world a better place. 23:36.706 --> 23:44.950 Did you see this, that Google have offered like a huge amount of money to encourage people to think of ideas to make the world a better place? 23:46.090 --> 23:46.450 Really? 23:47.031 --> 23:48.852 I've got an idea to make the world a better place. 23:49.032 --> 23:49.652 What's your idea? 23:50.444 --> 23:56.308 It's actually a Google-based idea, it's to stop that stupid Google car driving around taking pictures of everybody's houses. 23:56.468 --> 23:57.549 Have you come across that yet? 23:57.889 --> 23:58.209 No. 23:58.770 --> 24:07.355 I was looking out of my window several weeks ago and a car was driving along my road and I thought it was a council car taking pictures of illegally parked cars. 24:08.216 --> 24:11.818 So I sort of made a sneery, curtain twitching face at the lens. 24:12.458 --> 24:15.601 And then I realized it had Google past it all over the side. 24:15.621 --> 24:19.183 And I twigged that was the Google map car driving around 24:19.781 --> 24:38.358 scanning in my street ready for one of their invasive maps see I wish I'd known they were gonna do these Google Maps up front cuz I'd have gone in my back garden and made a big sign like help I'm trapped here or something like that now there's gonna be a picture like my house is gonna have me and a net curtain doing my nimby face 24:39.819 --> 24:42.279 Yeah, but you can't see the sides of the houses, can you? 24:42.379 --> 24:44.840 Yeah, there's the new one where you go down the streets. 24:45.260 --> 24:47.220 As if you are a car in the middle of the street. 24:47.520 --> 24:49.981 They already do it for Manhattan and places like that. 24:50.001 --> 24:52.101 So you can actually travel down the street. 24:52.361 --> 24:53.041 It's incredible. 24:53.301 --> 24:54.862 It is like Grand Theft Auto, isn't it? 24:54.922 --> 24:55.502 Coming to life. 24:55.522 --> 24:56.842 With a bit of Blade Runner thrown in. 24:57.522 --> 24:58.562 Especially where I live. 24:58.862 --> 25:06.164 It's like a very pathetic version of Grand Theft Auto with Joe looking out of the window and making an annoyed face. 25:06.504 --> 25:07.804 Grand neighbor nosy. 25:08.664 --> 25:10.266 So listen, man, when are you back? 25:10.466 --> 25:13.809 You're not even back next week, are you? 25:14.269 --> 25:15.751 I'm still here next week, apparently. 25:17.332 --> 25:19.054 And what have you got lined up for this week? 25:19.094 --> 25:19.835 Anything exciting? 25:19.855 --> 25:20.375 Any parties? 25:20.415 --> 25:21.456 Do you go to any parties? 25:21.476 --> 25:22.958 You're not Mr. Parties, really, are you, Joe? 25:23.398 --> 25:24.399 You're talking to me? 25:24.559 --> 25:25.440 No, not really. 25:26.020 --> 25:26.521 Not really. 25:27.445 --> 25:34.328 Uh, even though I had dinner tonight with our friend, the producer, Nigel Godrich, and he promised to get me to some parties. 25:34.648 --> 25:36.329 Good little name-chop, lovely name-chop. 25:36.589 --> 25:36.829 Thanks. 25:36.849 --> 25:38.410 Well, it's just Fred, we all know him. 25:38.630 --> 25:41.931 Yeah, Godrich will get you into the biggest parties in the world. 25:42.471 --> 25:44.372 He said there's something happening every night. 25:44.772 --> 25:45.753 There is, and he's at it. 25:45.773 --> 25:46.333 And he's at it. 25:46.593 --> 25:46.813 Yeah. 25:47.634 --> 25:49.034 Will he hook you into the scene, Adam? 25:49.394 --> 25:51.675 Absolutely, he's the man to know, I tell you. 25:52.096 --> 25:53.856 But listen, tell us all about it next week. 25:54.276 --> 25:55.457 We'll phone you up again, okay? 25:56.209 --> 25:57.891 Guess who was on the plane with me on the way over? 25:58.351 --> 25:59.292 Not Russell Brand again. 25:59.892 --> 26:00.653 Nick Cave. 26:01.073 --> 26:01.894 Nick Cave? 26:02.134 --> 26:03.536 Yeah, that's pretty good, isn't it? 26:03.676 --> 26:04.537 Did you say hello to him? 26:05.097 --> 26:07.900 I was queuing down the snake thing to board the plane. 26:07.980 --> 26:08.200 Yeah. 26:08.600 --> 26:12.684 And from behind me, I heard, uh, excuse me, excuse me, stand aside, please, excuse me. 26:13.416 --> 26:18.658 And it was, uh, it was, uh, airplane assistants ushering cave past the proles. 26:18.978 --> 26:19.958 Was he in a wheelchair? 26:20.438 --> 26:21.998 No, he was, he was fine. 26:23.139 --> 26:25.419 He clearly dyed his mustache and his hair. 26:25.539 --> 26:26.280 To look old. 26:27.420 --> 26:28.160 To look young. 26:28.280 --> 26:30.701 Oh, I thought, you know, I thought he was going for kind of help me. 26:31.361 --> 26:32.942 No, he was trying to look younger. 26:33.142 --> 26:36.503 Did he travel on that electric car that goes beep, beep, beep? 26:37.063 --> 26:38.863 No, but he shoved past everybody. 26:38.943 --> 26:41.524 And to be honest, I know cave is a hero and a, 26:41.897 --> 26:45.140 and a genius, but I thought he would want to be down with the people. 26:45.460 --> 26:46.821 That must be too embarrassing. 26:46.881 --> 26:49.323 I'd be too embarrassed to be ushered past on that bit of the plane. 26:49.343 --> 26:50.444 He looked happy about it. 26:50.544 --> 26:50.764 Of course. 26:50.784 --> 26:51.965 Why wouldn't he be? 26:52.345 --> 26:56.949 Sitting in his big chair, he had his laptop open and he appeared to be writing poetry. 26:57.289 --> 26:58.590 That's exactly what he was doing. 26:58.670 --> 26:59.571 And that's what you have to do. 26:59.611 --> 27:01.853 Well, you know, once you pass a certain age, he's over 50 now. 27:01.873 --> 27:03.534 Pushing past the people. 27:04.695 --> 27:05.596 That's what I would have written. 27:06.377 --> 27:10.160 Then you have to, you know, you have to be pampered in order to make your art come out. 27:13.131 --> 27:14.572 That was very well put. 27:15.332 --> 27:19.775 Then I saw him watching Fool's Gold three times and laughing his head off. 27:21.516 --> 27:22.217 Well, there you go. 27:22.657 --> 27:24.838 I've taken him to my heart then. 27:24.898 --> 27:25.539 He's genius. 27:25.919 --> 27:26.980 I always suspected as much. 27:27.300 --> 27:28.200 Joe Mann, thanks a lot. 27:28.240 --> 27:28.941 Nice to talk to you. 27:29.461 --> 27:33.063 Hey, thank you for having me, and thank you very much, Garth, for filling in so brilliantly. 27:33.263 --> 27:34.344 Oh, bless you, Joe. 27:34.384 --> 27:35.365 I'm enjoying myself. 27:36.089 --> 27:37.090 Cheerio man, bye. 27:37.110 --> 27:37.790 Bye. 27:38.731 --> 27:41.152 Now Garth, here's a bit of a free choice for you right now. 27:41.192 --> 27:42.013 What have you chosen for it? 27:42.033 --> 27:45.034 I've chosen Razzmatazz by Pulp and I'll tell you why after we played it. 27:45.355 --> 27:48.857 Razzmatazz by Pulp as chosen by Garth this week? 27:49.097 --> 27:50.338 Yeah, that was one of my free plays. 27:50.478 --> 27:56.101 I chose that because that was, I remember hearing that years and years ago on the John Peel Festive 50. 27:56.341 --> 27:56.581 Oh yeah. 27:56.601 --> 27:57.862 I used to tape that every year. 27:57.982 --> 27:58.202 Right. 27:58.483 --> 27:59.743 And that was my favourite. 28:00.123 --> 28:04.886 And it was only then that I realised that that tall guy that was serving coffee in our art school 28:06.167 --> 28:08.388 uh, coffee bar, uh, was Jarvis. 28:08.808 --> 28:09.248 Wow. 28:09.329 --> 28:17.612 And he was, he used to, Jarvis Cocker used to help out the, um, the guy that ran the little coffee bar and he'd come in and he'd be very tall and thin and serve us nice little coffees. 28:17.652 --> 28:18.673 Where was that at St Martin's? 28:18.713 --> 28:19.273 St Martin's. 28:19.533 --> 28:19.873 Right. 28:20.534 --> 28:24.695 And, and of course Common People was all about, you know, his... So when was that? 28:24.735 --> 28:25.436 What year was that? 28:25.456 --> 28:27.217 Oh, I'd have been there, uh, early 90s. 28:28.257 --> 28:32.542 And did he used to do little funny quips and amusing moves while he was serving the coffee? 28:32.782 --> 28:36.387 He'd say, you go, he'd go, uh, come have a coffee, but he'd go, alright. 28:36.767 --> 28:37.228 No, not really. 28:37.688 --> 28:38.349 No, he didn't do that. 28:38.649 --> 28:40.491 He didn't, he was always, he was always very nice. 28:40.531 --> 28:43.395 Of course, years later we ended up actually making videos for Pulp. 28:43.695 --> 28:43.915 Right. 28:43.955 --> 28:45.316 So it was all rather nice, really. 28:45.556 --> 28:46.477 Which ones did you make? 28:46.977 --> 28:56.142 We did Help Me Aged, which was the pitch which was A Stairlift to Heaven, which was in the style of Powell and Pressburg kind of movies. 28:56.603 --> 28:58.784 And then Little Soul. 28:59.324 --> 29:01.104 Oh, yeah, Little Soul, which I love that song. 29:01.185 --> 29:01.745 I love both of those. 29:01.785 --> 29:03.745 In fact, that whole album, this is hardcore, it's brilliant. 29:04.465 --> 29:08.846 And, um... Is he back in the UK now, Joff, or is he still out in Paris? 29:09.106 --> 29:09.607 I don't know. 29:09.767 --> 29:13.227 I'm not in touch with him in terms of, we're not so like buddies or anything, but... What? 29:13.708 --> 29:15.568 I wish I was, because he's brilliant. 29:16.068 --> 29:19.809 He's the real deal, but, uh, no, I, um, I don't know, he moved there, didn't he? 29:20.009 --> 29:22.750 I am not Jesus, but I have the same initials. 29:22.770 --> 29:23.410 I like that. 29:23.790 --> 29:27.472 I'm the man who stays home and does the dishes. 29:28.853 --> 29:29.713 Sorry if you're listening. 29:29.813 --> 29:30.874 More Jarvis, please. 29:31.854 --> 29:35.816 Okay, now listen, we are going to announce the winner of Song Wars, which we should have done now. 29:35.856 --> 29:38.497 In the last dabber, we had Joe Cornish business to attend to. 29:39.918 --> 29:43.039 And yes, that's coming up in the next half an hour at some point. 29:43.079 --> 29:44.260 But right now, here's more music. 29:44.560 --> 29:46.241 Here's the Happy Mondays with Loose Fit. 29:49.042 --> 30:06.474 Joe is away from the show But Joe is the one that you know He's unreliable And yet so appealing I'm not Joe I am Garth, I am standing in for Joe I hope you don't mind if you feel that's tough 30:06.963 --> 30:16.351 There you go, that's the Kings of Leon with sex on fire, which is dangerous and not recommended at all by the big British castle. 30:16.391 --> 30:17.552 It's just showing off really. 30:18.113 --> 30:23.557 Sex on fire, like the whole of you on fire or... Just the necessary parts. 30:24.598 --> 30:24.938 Really? 30:25.559 --> 30:26.199 That would be terrible. 30:26.259 --> 30:32.344 I mean, maybe if it's a burning sensation that he's experiencing, it might be something else that he needs to- He might need to take a fizzy drink for that. 30:32.364 --> 30:33.365 He needs to see a doctor. 30:33.625 --> 30:33.865 Yes. 30:34.165 --> 30:35.326 Uh, if that's the problem. 30:35.386 --> 30:37.468 Please patter on fire. 30:38.368 --> 30:40.170 Uh, this is, uh, Adam and Garth. 30:40.350 --> 30:40.870 Yeah, hello. 30:40.930 --> 30:42.011 BBC Six music. 30:42.031 --> 30:43.332 It doesn't sound right saying Garth. 30:43.772 --> 30:44.093 Does it? 30:44.113 --> 30:45.914 It sounds- Joe just flows perfectly. 30:45.954 --> 30:46.574 Adam and Joe. 30:46.694 --> 30:47.195 Adam and Joe. 30:47.215 --> 30:48.356 Adam and Garth. 30:48.676 --> 30:49.256 Adam and Garth. 30:49.276 --> 30:49.737 Sorry about that. 30:49.797 --> 30:50.597 Anyway, I'm still here. 30:50.717 --> 30:51.358 Sounds fine. 30:51.858 --> 30:55.840 Have you seen around town the posters for Bangkok Dangerous? 30:56.480 --> 30:58.701 Yeah, they look like a straight-to-video film. 30:59.181 --> 30:59.981 It's unbelievable. 31:00.001 --> 31:02.342 That's got to be one of the worst posters ever made. 31:02.362 --> 31:07.605 Well, a while back on this show, we were talking about incredibly bad Photoshop jobs on posters. 31:08.085 --> 31:12.387 There was a romantic comedy that came out last year with Uma Thurman in it. 31:12.467 --> 31:13.187 I forget the name. 31:13.207 --> 31:15.308 Oh, not when she was a superwoman. 31:15.888 --> 31:18.029 No, no, no, not my super ex-girlfriend. 31:18.889 --> 31:21.690 It was another one, and there were two men. 31:22.170 --> 31:23.930 Stanley looked very much like the Bridget Jones poster. 31:23.950 --> 31:26.111 Oh, I know, yes, I don't know the name of it, but I know the one you mean. 31:26.131 --> 31:37.054 I couldn't tell you the name of the film, I couldn't tell you the name of any of the actors apart from Thurman, but it was one of the most atrocious photoshopped jobs I've ever seen on a poster, like, the resolution, do you know what I mean? 31:37.094 --> 31:37.334 Yes. 31:37.454 --> 31:41.395 Of each element was completely out of whack. 31:41.495 --> 31:43.436 And they hadn't even bothered to deal with it. 31:43.656 --> 31:44.776 They just sort of thought, well, 31:45.917 --> 31:46.677 Oh no one cares. 31:46.697 --> 31:52.882 All we need to do is tell people it's a romantic comedy and some lonely women will go out and buy it on DVD. 31:52.902 --> 32:03.951 I always like it on posters when the guy comes to sort of stick it up on a big billboard and he's got the measurements wrong and so he has to overlap the mouth with the eyes. 32:03.971 --> 32:05.352 Do you know what I mean? 32:05.372 --> 32:06.193 When you get that sort of like... 32:06.673 --> 32:12.599 Like a gurning face, where this very pretty woman normally has had her mouth pushed right up under her nose, really close. 32:12.619 --> 32:13.700 I always like that. 32:13.720 --> 32:14.741 It is a fun thing to do. 32:14.942 --> 32:15.602 Pet love there. 32:15.802 --> 32:17.124 You can do it yourself. 32:17.364 --> 32:26.113 And another fun thing to do is to, um, you know, get a large picture of someone in a magazine or whatever and stick your tongue through where their mouth is at the back, it like, through the back of the picture. 32:26.613 --> 32:29.396 So their tongue comes through the picture and it's funny. 32:30.297 --> 32:32.779 I'm a little bit worried about you. 32:32.919 --> 32:37.442 But no, Bangkok Dangerous is now in the- Again, I said come on again, sorry man. 32:37.462 --> 32:38.983 I keep using stupid radio words. 32:39.003 --> 32:40.624 Can't I have your phrases, you know? 32:40.644 --> 32:41.204 Oh dear. 32:41.445 --> 32:45.007 That's like George Lamb, he's got his bouyaka sha or whatever he says. 32:45.988 --> 32:46.608 What does he say? 32:46.648 --> 32:47.889 Shaba. 32:47.929 --> 32:50.391 You know, he probably kicks himself a little bit after each shaba. 32:50.591 --> 32:51.832 I wouldn't worry about it, just relax man. 32:51.852 --> 32:53.212 Okay, I'm relaxed. 32:53.272 --> 32:58.336 Excuse me, I've got some, some French people in my mouth. 32:58.556 --> 32:59.337 Okay, get them out. 33:00.618 --> 33:12.053 But yes Bangkok dangerous right you know what I'm talking about it looks as if Presumably you're supposed to think he's reaching into his leather jacket to get a pistol out to shoot some men Right yeah, but it's weird. 33:12.093 --> 33:15.338 It looks as if his hands just disappeared or something 33:15.618 --> 33:18.219 Yeah, but that's because they- they photograph the actor on the set. 33:18.239 --> 33:18.379 Yeah. 33:18.399 --> 33:21.941 Because they only get- they're only allowed a couple of hours with the actor to photograph them. 33:22.461 --> 33:25.442 And then later when they're making the post, they're going, oh, I wish we had him from that angle. 33:25.462 --> 33:31.085 So they get an actor, or a body double in, photograph them in the position they want, and then they try and slap the head on top. 33:31.505 --> 33:33.145 And I remember them doing this with hitchhikers. 33:33.806 --> 33:33.866 Um... 33:34.406 --> 33:37.048 with the- that was the first film I made was Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. 33:37.068 --> 33:41.171 When they were making the posters, they had to sort of glue John Malkovich's head onto someone else's body. 33:41.191 --> 33:41.831 It never worked. 33:42.172 --> 33:42.432 Right. 33:42.612 --> 33:43.613 Absolutely ridiculous. 33:43.853 --> 33:45.154 He was even little wrong. 33:45.174 --> 33:45.554 Mm-hmm. 33:45.774 --> 33:49.337 But they sort of- you go- you can imagine them in the meetings going, eh, it doesn't matter. 33:49.377 --> 33:49.837 It's fine. 33:49.977 --> 33:54.679 But this is in a world where they're spending more on the advertising and the publicity than the actual film, isn't it? 33:54.719 --> 33:56.440 Yeah, but they don't worry about things like that. 33:56.800 --> 33:57.901 What do they worry about there? 33:57.921 --> 33:58.421 I don't know. 33:58.501 --> 33:59.701 What are they paying the money for? 33:59.721 --> 34:04.063 To fly like Brad Pitt first class to do his junkets? 34:04.223 --> 34:04.924 Yeah, they love it. 34:05.004 --> 34:05.884 They love the junkets. 34:06.545 --> 34:07.345 Junkets where it's at. 34:08.001 --> 34:10.724 Well, I think they should concentrate a little more on the posters. 34:11.305 --> 34:13.167 What is Bangkok dangerous even about though? 34:13.187 --> 34:14.048 Do you know anything about it? 34:14.849 --> 34:21.357 I have no idea, but it just looks like one of those ones that sold next to the really weird foreign sweets in my local corner shop. 34:21.477 --> 34:21.758 Yeah. 34:22.038 --> 34:23.680 I mean, why would you go and see that? 34:23.880 --> 34:24.780 Well, it's a hit, apparently. 34:24.840 --> 34:25.820 People have gone to see it. 34:25.961 --> 34:26.281 No. 34:26.461 --> 34:27.101 I think so. 34:27.401 --> 34:30.782 And Nick Cage is not even any guarantor of kind of quality these days. 34:30.842 --> 34:33.442 He's had a string of pretty unwatchable films. 34:33.482 --> 34:36.723 What was the one where we- Well, I just saw National Treasure 2 on the plane. 34:37.203 --> 34:44.225 And as you had the sound out, but I remember one of the bits in it was, um, uh, he has to find the secret to something from a desk. 34:44.645 --> 34:45.045 Yeah. 34:45.245 --> 34:48.526 And by opening the drawers of the desk at different angles, it reveals the secret. 34:48.546 --> 34:50.806 I was thinking, God, they're really, really scratching here. 34:50.987 --> 34:52.087 I thought that was quite exciting. 34:52.127 --> 34:52.767 That was rubbish. 34:53.087 --> 34:53.827 Absolutely rubbish. 34:54.008 --> 34:54.648 Hey, wait a minute. 34:54.688 --> 34:57.990 If we open the drawers, in a certain way it reveals a code. 34:58.090 --> 34:58.850 Mystery desk. 34:59.110 --> 34:59.991 Exciting desk. 35:00.411 --> 35:01.871 What will the draw reveal? 35:01.891 --> 35:03.272 That's what the theme should have been. 35:03.352 --> 35:04.933 Yeah, you could have done a good one for that. 35:05.093 --> 35:05.813 Mystery desk. 35:06.114 --> 35:06.894 What in the desk? 35:07.214 --> 35:08.095 What inside the drawer? 35:08.335 --> 35:09.455 Another drawer has popped out. 35:09.555 --> 35:10.256 Mystery desk. 35:11.616 --> 35:12.497 You know, it needs a bit of work. 35:12.837 --> 35:22.982 But Bangkok Dangerous, you know, I assume it's just about like a guy, I imagine it was maybe a guy wandering around and he's a tourist in Bangkok maybe for the first time. 35:23.002 --> 35:25.163 He's just going up to people and saying, what's Bangkok like? 35:25.543 --> 35:28.265 And someone says, oh, I think you'll enjoy Bangkok. 35:28.465 --> 35:29.185 Bangkok, nice. 35:29.565 --> 35:32.547 And then he goes up to someone else and goes, what is Bangkok like? 35:33.027 --> 35:36.549 Oh, Bangkok's OK, but Bangkok, you know, you've got to be careful. 35:36.589 --> 35:37.369 Bangkok Dangerous. 35:39.511 --> 35:40.051 Is it like that? 35:40.512 --> 35:41.412 I don't think so. 35:41.433 --> 35:44.615 That was a good accent I did there as well. 35:44.655 --> 35:45.476 It was very realistic. 35:45.496 --> 35:46.177 It was very realistic. 35:46.197 --> 35:48.078 That's the actual accent they have in Bangkok. 35:49.680 --> 35:58.787 Now folks, I've got a free choice for you right now and after this one we are going to announce the winner of Song Wars and this track is by Donna Summer. 35:58.807 --> 36:00.869 Do you like a little slice of summer? 36:01.430 --> 36:02.330 We need a bit of summer. 36:02.991 --> 36:03.671 Like summer. 36:03.872 --> 36:04.052 Yeah. 36:04.832 --> 36:08.715 You could probably fire this one off, actually, James, producer James this week. 36:09.696 --> 36:17.561 And this is a kind of... I mean, this is a real... I'm trying to think of the right words for it. 36:17.601 --> 36:18.402 It's a real epic. 36:19.443 --> 36:22.465 Well, she did a couple of epics because I feel love was an epic. 36:22.765 --> 36:23.966 Well, I'll let her get on with it. 36:25.339 --> 36:27.260 It's time for song wars. 36:27.781 --> 36:29.262 The war of the songs. 36:29.842 --> 36:33.205 A couple of tunes by a couple of prongs. 36:33.265 --> 36:35.126 Which will you vote for? 36:35.766 --> 36:37.207 Which one is the best? 36:37.768 --> 36:41.070 We're putting our songs to the listener test. 36:41.150 --> 36:42.291 So check it out. 36:42.822 --> 36:47.128 Yep, and of course last week we unveiled our songs about the Credit Crunch. 36:47.588 --> 36:48.409 I say songs. 36:49.270 --> 36:57.040 I had one half-finished thing that was kind of a... it sounded like it was from a musical or something. 36:57.180 --> 36:58.302 But that was my favourite. 36:58.842 --> 37:01.446 And a lot of people have written in about that one saying they loved it. 37:01.906 --> 37:12.594 Right, and then, well, that's nice, and I actually finished it this week, so if I win, I'll play the whole of that one, because in the end, I panicked last week, I didn't, I knew there was no way I was gonna finish the other one. 37:13.015 --> 37:19.900 So I went and did a kind of radio head rip-off with the robot voice on it, you know, and Garth. 37:19.940 --> 37:31.509 Yeah, but I made a shocker, because mine wasn't even about the credit crunch as much, I just kept singing stupid things that somehow loosely tied to it, and it was annoyingly, um, it stuck in people's heads. 37:31.849 --> 37:33.490 Well, let's announce the winner now, you have the envelope. 37:33.530 --> 37:35.332 I've got a bit of paper, I don't actually know. 37:37.174 --> 37:37.854 Oh, I've won. 37:37.974 --> 37:38.715 You've won. 37:38.935 --> 37:39.896 I've won by 68%. 37:40.777 --> 37:43.299 Well, it was the better song, it has to be said. 37:43.319 --> 37:46.641 There's a lot of people going to be upset about this. 37:47.042 --> 37:47.482 Well, listen. 37:48.383 --> 37:49.664 I'd like to hear your one. 37:50.224 --> 37:51.766 Maybe I'll play it later on in the show. 37:52.086 --> 37:52.907 But right now, let's hear. 37:52.927 --> 37:53.908 You really want to play mine? 37:54.128 --> 37:54.808 Yeah, we've got to. 37:54.848 --> 37:55.309 You've won. 37:55.329 --> 37:55.649 Oh, no. 37:55.689 --> 37:57.170 It's the way Song Wars works. 37:57.591 --> 37:59.092 This is Garth's Credit Crunch song. 38:00.996 --> 38:17.268 If this song was a bank It would fold to be frank And this tune was a man He would sleep in a van If this beat was a check 38:51.960 --> 39:15.282 The monkey could do better It's just my credit crunchy song This is my credit crunchy song If this bus was a bus 39:29.632 --> 39:33.437 care what they say that was 40:10.359 --> 40:11.900 That was my credit crunchy song. 40:12.880 --> 40:18.243 So you're not exactly dealing with many of the important issues involved with the crunch there. 40:18.623 --> 40:20.744 I just realised that's pretty much how I've lived my life. 40:21.104 --> 40:24.106 You know, sort of go, I don't really want to deal with that. 40:24.366 --> 40:26.287 I'll do this instead and hope nobody notices. 40:26.427 --> 40:27.768 It's pretty much how I got through school. 40:28.288 --> 40:46.716 right i can't do that very well i'm gonna do this hopefully if i if it's irritating enough no one will notice the stuff i've missed i like that song though that is a good song i mean the better song one and that's what song was is about no it's not it's actually about the i think i want to hear your one again but we're going to play your one later aren't we 40:47.316 --> 40:50.480 Yeah, maybe I'll play that one later on if we have time. 40:51.080 --> 40:52.102 Congratulations, Garth. 40:52.522 --> 40:55.465 Two song wars that you've been involved with, twice you have won. 40:55.485 --> 40:57.327 I've been involved with three. 40:57.828 --> 40:59.069 Yeah, but the first one was... Beat me. 41:00.991 --> 41:03.494 Yeah, but you hadn't... That was not an original track. 41:03.554 --> 41:04.736 That was an Elton John cover. 41:04.916 --> 41:05.837 That's true. 41:05.897 --> 41:08.079 With your original compositions, you are unbeaten. 41:08.880 --> 41:09.541 That's right. 41:09.841 --> 41:10.541 Congratulations. 41:10.561 --> 41:11.022 Thank you. 41:11.982 --> 41:16.505 Next week, we have decided that... Why don't you explain what we're going to do next week? 41:16.585 --> 41:21.308 Well, Radiohead are just releasing Reckoner from their In Rainbows album. 41:22.109 --> 41:25.811 And to go along with that, they're also releasing it as pieces of the song. 41:25.831 --> 41:28.673 So you can actually take these pieces and do your own remix of it. 41:29.494 --> 41:32.636 And it's quite simple actually, you just press a button and it all downloads into your computer. 41:33.076 --> 41:38.600 So instead of doing song wars like we normally do, which is to write something and then about some crazy topic, 41:39.020 --> 41:42.162 we're gonna do our own remixes of Radiohead's Reckoner. 41:42.622 --> 41:43.323 Yeah, good idea. 41:43.343 --> 41:45.404 I mean, they did the same thing with Nude as well, didn't they? 41:45.604 --> 41:46.224 They did, yes. 41:46.424 --> 41:57.550 Did you ever go on their website and listen to some of the things that- Yeah, there was a brilliant one where one man had used sort of tape players and CD machines and even sort of like picture scanners. 41:57.950 --> 41:58.110 Right. 41:58.151 --> 42:01.452 And he'd somehow orchestrated all these objects to play the track. 42:01.712 --> 42:02.413 It was incredible. 42:02.933 --> 42:03.533 Check it out. 42:03.633 --> 42:05.675 Did he even use any of the elements that they provided? 42:05.975 --> 42:12.378 Yes, he'd somehow put Tom's voice onto some weird little disc, floppy disc thing that was spinning around. 42:12.418 --> 42:13.539 It's very, very strange. 42:13.579 --> 42:17.221 It's like a sort of modern day Heath Robinson way of making music. 42:17.281 --> 42:18.162 It's very, very clever. 42:18.182 --> 42:18.742 Ah. 42:18.942 --> 42:19.162 Yeah. 42:19.302 --> 42:22.004 They've got very creative fans though, don't they, that mighty heat. 42:22.324 --> 42:27.787 So that's what we're going to do is have a go at our own Reckoner remix next week for Song Wars. 42:27.847 --> 42:28.067 Yep. 42:28.347 --> 42:30.248 We're going to go crazy all over the arse of that. 42:32.090 --> 42:55.452 I'm telling you right now and let's see we're gonna play a little bit of music before the news and in the next half hour I think we shall launch text the nation the nation's favorite feature but first here are the last shadow puppets that's the last shadow puppets with my mistakes were made for you well done the last shadow puppets congratulations what a wonderful year they've had I'm turning to Jules Holland 42:56.653 --> 42:58.333 You've just got to say ladies and gentlemen a bit more. 42:58.654 --> 43:05.035 Ladies and gentlemen, over here we have the last shadow puppets, wonderful band, absolutely staggering musicians. 43:05.495 --> 43:09.176 I'm going to do a little awkward interview with one of them right now. 43:09.957 --> 43:14.898 So what do you find Mr Alex Turner that it is like playing music? 43:16.337 --> 43:17.878 Okay. 43:17.918 --> 43:19.719 Where do you get your ideas for songs? 43:19.739 --> 43:20.380 That's not fair. 43:20.400 --> 43:21.741 I mean, Jules, he's a national treasure. 43:21.821 --> 43:22.702 He's a national treasure. 43:22.722 --> 43:29.586 He's a boogie woogie genius and a national treasure and the compare of one of the most legendary music shows of all time. 43:29.907 --> 43:36.791 It's funny though, I went to a recording of one of those shows and it's a near-death experience for the audience because they have all these cameras swinging around on cranes. 43:37.072 --> 43:37.292 Right. 43:37.452 --> 43:38.853 And I was constantly, they're going... 43:39.753 --> 43:40.614 Over your head. 43:41.054 --> 43:43.875 And you could dance it on the telly, but everyone is ducking all the time. 43:44.435 --> 43:45.216 Like an air show. 43:45.416 --> 43:47.136 Watch out for the rock and roll cranes. 43:47.216 --> 43:47.817 Yeah, look out! 43:47.837 --> 43:49.697 That'd be a good name for a band, wouldn't it? 43:49.797 --> 43:50.598 Rock and roll cranes? 43:50.918 --> 43:51.318 Maybe not. 43:51.618 --> 43:51.818 No. 43:51.938 --> 43:55.440 It's time for the news right now, ladies and gentlemen, at Just Gone 1030. 43:55.540 --> 43:59.321 Text the nation. 43:59.362 --> 44:01.262 Text, text, text, text the nation. 44:01.282 --> 44:02.303 What if I don't want to? 44:02.563 --> 44:03.303 Text the nation. 44:03.383 --> 44:04.364 But I'm using email. 44:04.544 --> 44:05.264 Is that a problem? 44:05.304 --> 44:06.164 It doesn't matter, text! 44:08.988 --> 44:10.529 We got a lot of jingles on this show. 44:10.930 --> 44:15.493 We jingled up to the... I mean, eventually the jingles will just spread all over the show. 44:15.553 --> 44:19.497 It'll just be non-stop jingles and there won't be any actual talking or music. 44:19.537 --> 44:21.799 We've got even more jingles in the next few hours as well. 44:21.819 --> 44:23.360 Yeah, I've got a lot of jingles, you know. 44:23.380 --> 44:25.222 A lot of jingles. 44:26.062 --> 44:27.644 Uh, now, text The Nation this week. 44:27.684 --> 44:29.065 It's The Nation's favourite feature. 44:29.125 --> 44:36.592 It's the part of the show where we talk about a thing, and you text or email us with your thoughts upon the thing. 44:36.612 --> 44:37.973 Do you understand, Garth? 44:38.414 --> 44:39.415 I don't understand. 44:39.755 --> 44:42.618 Okay, listen, I'll explain it to you later on in more detail. 44:43.478 --> 44:49.901 But let me carry on right now with Text-to-Nation's subject this week, which is ideas that might make the world a better place. 44:50.721 --> 45:05.467 And I think it's probably something that a lot of people are talking about this week because of the fact that Google have offered a ten million dollar prize fund for ideas that will change the world as part of their tenth birthday celebrations, right? 45:06.147 --> 45:07.268 Are you aware of Google? 45:07.728 --> 45:11.050 Yeah, but are they giving you ten million dollars if you just come up with a good idea? 45:11.350 --> 45:11.570 No. 45:11.990 --> 45:22.015 I imagine that they are putting ten million dollars into a big prize pool in order to back the development of any winning ideas. 45:22.075 --> 45:23.136 Dragon's Den style. 45:23.376 --> 45:23.876 Exactly. 45:24.016 --> 45:24.257 Right. 45:24.337 --> 45:32.801 The entries have to be in by October the 20th and, you know, you go on to Google and you can find out all about it if you would like to submit your ideas there. 45:33.241 --> 45:36.243 But another option would be to submit your ideas to us. 45:37.183 --> 46:00.213 For this show don't worry about the prize money, you know, we've got a big prize pool of over 50p In order to develop some of the winning ideas But I was I thought maybe it would be a good idea because I saw a news report this week about this story I think it was on on BBC News and they had a little girl they'd interviewed a load of children about what their ideas would be and 46:00.613 --> 46:07.999 to make the world a better place, and all of them were sort of sweet and nice, you know, smile a bit more, be polite, that kind of thing. 46:08.800 --> 46:21.990 But there was this one quite precocious little girl, it must have been about six or seven, and she was saying, in order to save water and energy, I think people should stop singing in the shower so they don't need to spend so long in there. 46:23.908 --> 46:24.108 Nice. 46:24.128 --> 46:24.528 Yeah, thanks. 46:24.588 --> 46:26.069 That's the kind of kid you want in your house. 46:26.089 --> 46:26.810 Thanks very much. 46:27.210 --> 46:31.392 I wonder if she came up with the idea herself or maybe her parents fed it to her. 46:31.412 --> 46:31.652 Yeah. 46:31.672 --> 46:33.433 Because I get that a lot. 46:33.774 --> 46:38.816 I think the kids are picking up stuff at school as well because everyone's so conscious of doing sort of the wrong thing. 46:38.836 --> 46:39.217 Yeah. 46:39.237 --> 46:42.358 I noticed my son the other day when we were walking along the street there was a man smoking. 46:42.378 --> 46:44.640 He said, look at that bad man smoking. 46:45.160 --> 46:45.380 Yeah. 46:45.400 --> 46:57.865 He doesn't actually talk like that, but he was sort of saying, you know, as terrible, and I was sort of very embarrassed because the man could hear and I was sort of having to say, oh no, it's okay, people can smoke, it's not good for you, but it's okay, it's absolutely fine that you smoke, yes. 46:57.965 --> 46:59.245 Right, it's a personal choice. 46:59.626 --> 47:05.628 In a way, everyone's free to do what they want, despite what they might be indoctrinating you, uh, to think at school. 47:05.788 --> 47:13.491 I know it is weird, you get all kinds of stuff like that, and the, you get religious things and all sorts of, uh, bits and pieces coming back via your children. 47:14.011 --> 47:19.512 you know, whether you are a believer or not, they come back and they're telling you all kinds of stuff. 47:19.832 --> 47:22.373 And you're like, wow, you're quite a different person now. 47:22.393 --> 47:24.814 In some ways, of course, they're not different people. 47:24.834 --> 47:26.574 They're just sort of saying stuff that they've been taught. 47:26.954 --> 47:30.095 But so ideas for making the world a better place. 47:30.555 --> 47:32.275 I went, I mean, it's a fun thing to do, right? 47:32.295 --> 47:37.637 This is something that newspapers and magazines do from time to time just to amuse themselves. 47:37.697 --> 47:40.137 It's like doing top 100 best album lists. 47:40.157 --> 47:43.118 Yeah, just stuff you want to chip away at, make it improve life a little bit. 47:43.138 --> 47:43.298 Yeah. 47:43.678 --> 47:51.563 I mean, Dave Gorman, of course, has honed the notion into a brilliant show, Genius, on Radio 4. 47:52.363 --> 47:53.063 Have you ever listened to that? 47:53.164 --> 47:53.364 No. 47:53.504 --> 47:57.126 Great program, and it's being made into a TV series as well, I think. 47:57.586 --> 47:58.987 Later this year, that's going to come out. 47:59.287 --> 48:09.533 And he more or less does the same sort of thing, asks people for ideas that they think are genius, and they come up with things like, some guy thought about perforated bread, 48:10.473 --> 48:14.955 It was fed up with the fact that you, um, you know, slicing bread is such an inexact thing. 48:15.275 --> 48:22.518 So he was saying if bread had like regular, regular perforated, yeah, you could rip it off to the, uh, desired thickness. 48:22.618 --> 48:23.658 That's a great idea. 48:23.678 --> 48:24.638 Yeah, it's a great program. 48:24.678 --> 48:25.399 You should check it out. 48:25.639 --> 48:29.120 Um, if you haven't heard it before, you can buy a CD of it, I think. 48:29.720 --> 48:36.086 Anyway, that's Dave Gorman, but there's all sorts of other people thinking of ideas for making the world a better place. 48:36.466 --> 48:42.812 And online, I sort of stumbled across this site called the experientialist. 48:42.832 --> 48:44.093 The experientialist? 48:44.113 --> 48:44.874 How would you say that? 48:44.914 --> 48:46.475 Yeah, the experientialist, I think. 48:47.316 --> 48:51.959 And their mission statement reads as follows. 48:52.339 --> 49:01.104 Our planet Earth is beset by a multitude of problems ranging from the environmental to the political, from the social to the economic, from the humanitarian to the moral. 49:01.485 --> 49:06.888 We are trying to help the world come up with real solutions, in capitals, to our world's problems. 49:07.568 --> 49:08.509 All this is in capitals. 49:08.829 --> 49:15.498 We are trying to gather good ideas from people all over the world on what we can do to help solve the world's problems. 49:15.779 --> 49:18.462 So get involved and submit your ideas below. 49:18.482 --> 49:21.446 No longer in capitals, Best Idea wins $500. 49:24.013 --> 49:32.239 So this is a site dedicated to trying to find good ideas, and they're actually shelling out, you know, a reasonable little prize pot there, $500. 49:32.720 --> 49:34.941 I don't know how long the site's been going. 49:35.001 --> 49:39.965 It's, you know, frustratingly free of actual details of who runs it and why they run it and stuff. 49:40.285 --> 49:46.610 But a few of the ideas that people have come up with are listed on there, and I will read a couple of them out in just a second. 49:47.110 --> 49:52.834 After the ting tings with Be The One, the ting tings with Be The One, 49:53.806 --> 49:56.409 Adam and Garth here on BBC Six Music. 49:56.509 --> 50:01.553 Garth Jennings is our buddy and he's filling in for Joe while he's off in Los Angeles. 50:02.875 --> 50:04.536 And we're very pleased to have you here Garth. 50:04.896 --> 50:05.457 Thanks Adam. 50:05.677 --> 50:06.398 I like being here. 50:06.818 --> 50:09.501 It gets me out of the house, you know, three hours on a Saturday morning. 50:09.861 --> 50:10.362 Exactly. 50:10.542 --> 50:11.623 Do I have to do the washing up? 50:12.204 --> 50:13.585 Just drink a lot of coffee here, though. 50:13.605 --> 50:14.346 That's the only trouble. 50:14.546 --> 50:14.766 Right. 50:14.946 --> 50:15.587 Getting a bit dizzy. 50:15.907 --> 50:16.248 Are you? 50:16.268 --> 50:17.589 Yeah, getting a bit freaked out. 50:17.889 --> 50:20.212 Well, you can't stop now, otherwise you'll get a massive headache. 50:20.252 --> 50:20.993 No, I've got to keep going. 50:21.013 --> 50:22.474 You've got to keep pushing through it. 50:22.494 --> 50:23.796 Keep going until you pop. 50:24.536 --> 50:26.478 Until your heart just pops out of your chest. 50:28.320 --> 50:31.364 like that video for Niles Barkley. 50:31.484 --> 50:32.205 Have you seen that one? 50:32.245 --> 50:33.306 Who's going to save your soul? 50:33.527 --> 50:33.727 No. 50:33.987 --> 50:36.911 Go on to YouTube and have a look at Niles Barkley. 50:36.951 --> 50:37.992 Who's going to save your soul? 50:39.093 --> 50:39.814 I recommend it. 50:40.375 --> 50:44.280 And it's quite an extraordinary piece of work by the director, Chris Milk. 50:44.830 --> 50:45.110 Oh, yes. 50:45.771 --> 50:46.912 Anyway, that's by the by. 50:47.052 --> 50:48.433 We are in the midst of Text the Nation. 50:48.513 --> 50:51.195 We're asking for your ideas to make the world a better place. 50:51.355 --> 51:08.387 I've already told you about the idea of one young girl who said, spend less time in the shower singing, or rather she said, don't sing in the shower, because it'll make your showering experience a little more, a little shorter, you know, and then you won't be wasting money on energy and water and that kind of thing. 51:08.567 --> 51:36.729 basically by not enjoying yourselves will do things quicker and use less energy it's a brilliant idea and um... hard to more misery hard to fault bigger savings exactly big savings uh... here are some of the ideas that i found from the experientialist website for making the world a better place someone lays out a seven point yeah seven point multi-pronged approach and a lot of these are anonymous which also makes the site a little bit creepy uh... multi-pronged approach number one 51:37.389 --> 51:42.352 We don't use oil anymore for travelling about, but we use electricity or sun energy. 51:43.292 --> 51:44.473 Well, yeah, that's good. 51:44.493 --> 51:45.253 That's good, yeah. 51:45.553 --> 51:47.934 Number two, we don't need politicians to decide for us. 51:48.135 --> 51:50.156 We need them to count all our voting. 51:50.616 --> 51:54.598 I mean to say, if we decide something, people must all vote for it. 51:55.970 --> 51:57.031 That's brilliant. 51:57.571 --> 51:58.391 Do you understand that? 51:58.411 --> 51:58.511 No. 51:58.771 --> 52:01.153 We don't need politicians to decide for us. 52:01.413 --> 52:04.774 We need to... We need them to count all our voting. 52:05.495 --> 52:08.456 Is this the same girl that had a problem with people singing in the shower right now? 52:08.476 --> 52:10.797 No, this is someone else writing on this website. 52:11.038 --> 52:11.378 Okay. 52:11.438 --> 52:11.878 Point three. 52:12.138 --> 52:13.779 Destroy all weapons on Earth. 52:15.200 --> 52:16.160 With a big weapon. 52:16.280 --> 52:17.141 That would do it, wouldn't it? 52:17.161 --> 52:18.661 A giant weapon-destroying weapon. 52:18.681 --> 52:19.782 I mean, these are all good ideas. 52:19.822 --> 52:23.004 I don't mean to, like, ridicule them, because destroy all weapons on Earth. 52:23.024 --> 52:24.464 You can't really argue with that, can you? 52:24.584 --> 52:25.445 That's a good idea. 52:26.578 --> 52:27.599 I mean, they'd make more. 52:27.999 --> 52:30.080 You could just use a stick. 52:30.420 --> 52:34.222 You could pretty much use anything as a weapon, so I don't know where you'd stop there. 52:35.303 --> 52:35.843 Point four. 52:36.703 --> 52:43.227 On school, she says, or he says, on school, we also learn to accept each other and be nice to each other. 52:43.467 --> 52:44.187 Well, that's nice. 52:44.407 --> 52:44.848 That's good. 52:44.868 --> 52:46.529 I mean, that is another good idea they've got there. 52:46.569 --> 52:48.550 This seven point plan is going very well, I think. 52:48.870 --> 52:49.510 Point five. 52:49.810 --> 52:52.312 Parents must learn how to be a good parent. 52:54.233 --> 52:54.854 That's good. 52:55.835 --> 52:56.816 How do we do that, though? 52:56.836 --> 52:58.698 You know, this is the thing. 52:58.818 --> 53:00.460 Aren't we just allowed to make a few mistakes? 53:00.500 --> 53:06.787 They stop a lot of these ideas, and this is a common thing on the internet, when you search for ideas to make the world a better place. 53:07.087 --> 53:10.090 You've got lots of ideas, not so many ideas for how to implement the plans. 53:10.551 --> 53:11.572 But we're not interested in that. 53:11.952 --> 53:13.353 We're just interested in the ideas. 53:13.393 --> 53:16.476 That's what we want you to send in, text or email listeners. 53:17.177 --> 53:18.959 Point number six on this seven point plan. 53:19.479 --> 53:22.843 Every human being needs a collective kind of money. 53:23.343 --> 53:24.144 This is a right. 53:24.524 --> 53:33.113 We all get each month a certain amount of money and then we can decide who gets more by working so there'll be no more poor people anymore. 53:34.056 --> 53:35.017 Did you understand any of that? 53:35.338 --> 53:38.061 That sounds like a bit Russian. 53:38.522 --> 53:41.246 It's a bit, yeah, it's a bit special. 53:41.366 --> 53:42.127 Old school. 53:43.268 --> 53:44.229 Point seven, finally. 53:44.450 --> 53:45.671 There are no countries anymore. 53:47.168 --> 53:48.409 We are the world. 53:48.589 --> 53:49.170 We are the world. 53:49.190 --> 53:52.633 Well that's what those pop songs would have us believe, yeah. 53:52.793 --> 53:53.514 No countries. 53:53.534 --> 53:58.378 It's a bit like it was before the dinosaurs when we were just one giant, huge slab of land. 53:58.798 --> 54:01.821 It's a little bit we should play Imagine by John Lennon at this point, shouldn't we? 54:01.981 --> 54:03.703 He's got lots of ideas to make it look better. 54:03.763 --> 54:05.044 It wouldn't sound good after all this. 54:05.924 --> 54:12.369 Here's another idea from someone else this is now after that disgraceful seven point plan which I read very badly. 54:13.449 --> 54:16.632 Honesty and revealing the truth about aliens. 54:17.372 --> 54:26.918 Tell everyone the truth about extraterrestrials and their presence here and why they're here via the world communication system simply by emailing for a start. 54:27.499 --> 54:29.140 Furthermore honesty is required. 54:30.040 --> 54:33.263 I can't think what's that? 54:33.603 --> 54:35.644 Tell us about the aliens and just be honest. 54:35.965 --> 54:36.465 Here's another one. 54:36.745 --> 54:39.447 Environmental solution is the heading for this idea. 54:39.967 --> 54:42.829 Build huge refrigerators to stop global warming. 54:43.710 --> 54:45.271 That is insane. 54:45.291 --> 54:51.055 I don't know if that's a serious suggestion, but all the rest of the suggestions on this particular website are serious, so I have to assume it is. 54:51.095 --> 54:53.537 Your listeners are going to come up with much better stuff than that. 54:53.837 --> 54:59.878 Yeah, I've got a few more examples that I'll read out to you later on, listeners, but I would like to hear how you would make the world a better place. 54:59.898 --> 55:09.481 You can text 64046, or you can email your idea to adamandjoe.6music at bbc.co.uk. 55:09.881 --> 55:16.182 Adamandjoe, and that's A-N-D rather than an ampersand, dot 6music at bbc.uk. 55:16.462 --> 55:17.622 Get your ideas coming in. 55:18.083 --> 55:18.463 No! 55:18.703 --> 55:20.043 Now, Garth, we've got a free play in this 55:20.083 --> 55:49.291 my free play and although this has nothing to do with him and it's by no means a song he even knows I'm gonna dedicate this to my dad because he's 64 today it's his 64th birthday didn't want to go for when I'm 64 by the beagle never liked that song to be honest with you excuse me I want to have out there with oh bloody oblodara's terms of annoying Beatles right okay but and I hadn't really thought of a birthday song for your dad but I didn't want you to have to sit through the whole show so so this is a song by Dory Previn it's called the girl with the braid 55:49.611 --> 55:51.952 That's CSS with move. 55:52.272 --> 55:54.053 You're listening to BBC Six Music. 55:54.393 --> 55:55.454 I'm Adam Buxton. 55:55.574 --> 55:56.514 And I'm Garth Jennings. 55:56.894 --> 55:57.074 Welcome. 55:57.094 --> 55:58.375 I'm not Joe. 55:58.435 --> 55:58.755 Welcome. 55:58.815 --> 56:00.516 It's a lovely Saturday morning. 56:00.976 --> 56:05.358 The fog from earlier has burned off, which is always nice. 56:05.598 --> 56:06.799 could wear your shorts, it's fine. 56:06.819 --> 56:07.820 I don't know about that. 56:08.301 --> 56:09.101 Yeah, it's a shorts day. 56:09.282 --> 56:09.922 You reckon it's a shorts day? 56:09.942 --> 56:11.243 It would be fine, I'd wear your shorts. 56:11.424 --> 56:14.106 If you're in two minds, just go with the shorts, you're going to be alright. 56:14.186 --> 56:19.691 You know, I find it very difficult once that time of year has ended, you know, when it's definitely short season, that's fine. 56:20.132 --> 56:30.482 But then sometime around about, you know, early September, late August, maybe things go wrong with the weather and you have to put your shorts away and you start wearing jeans again. 56:30.922 --> 56:34.444 I'm not saying wear flip-flops or anything like that but shorts you'll be fine today. 56:34.504 --> 56:37.965 I'm saying I can't just switch around what jeans one day shorts the next. 56:38.726 --> 56:39.426 It's not gonna happen. 56:39.446 --> 56:40.346 It's gonna throw it for you. 56:40.506 --> 56:41.387 It's not gonna happen. 56:42.287 --> 56:47.270 I'll tell you another thing I'm worried about right is my hair at the moment because I shaved off my beard the other day. 56:47.310 --> 56:49.150 You look like a baby face Buxton today. 56:49.511 --> 56:58.895 Yeah and it's when you've got a beard you can let your hair get a little more shaggy right because you just think well I'm a shaggy man now I'm like a monkey man. 56:59.495 --> 57:06.501 It doesn't matter, I'm just gonna let all my hairs hang out and won't go to the barber and nothing really matters anymore. 57:06.521 --> 57:08.423 You know, your personal appearance you don't have to worry about. 57:08.443 --> 57:12.126 It's one of the nice things about having a beard is you just don't have to worry. 57:12.146 --> 57:15.830 You don't have to look at your stupid face in the mirror every morning and shave and all that kind of stuff. 57:16.250 --> 57:19.353 Just roll out of bed, go through some garbage cans, 57:19.693 --> 57:21.154 See, I've always wanted to have a beard. 57:21.934 --> 57:24.596 My dad has a brilliant beard, like a proper Father Christmas style. 57:24.696 --> 57:27.057 I can only grow hair in a circle around my mouth. 57:27.077 --> 57:27.997 Ooh, that's not very nice. 57:28.017 --> 57:28.578 It's rubbish. 57:28.938 --> 57:29.438 It's rubbish. 57:29.498 --> 57:31.819 It's like a really crappy goatee. 57:32.399 --> 57:33.540 I swear, look at my face. 57:33.580 --> 57:35.041 I've never had to shave my cheeks. 57:35.301 --> 57:35.741 Right, right. 57:35.761 --> 57:39.603 And it just grows around the mouth in a sort of, like, bizarre crop circle. 57:40.023 --> 57:40.384 It's awful. 57:40.404 --> 57:42.785 It looks like I've got a sort of dark grey rash. 57:43.685 --> 57:57.322 Like a kind of coffee Yeah, like I've you know when you suck a glass to your face and it leaves a ring It's a bit like that with a dirty glass And I really especially being a film director you need a beard for people to take you seriously You need a beard so you can scratch it and go might think we should do that again. 57:57.382 --> 58:01.608 Maybe a little quicker You know all the greats beards, you know, you can draw one on 58:02.188 --> 58:04.611 I could get the makeup department to slap a bit of fur on. 58:04.631 --> 58:05.632 People would respect that. 58:05.672 --> 58:08.735 Your crew would respect that because they would think, he's mental. 58:10.096 --> 58:11.137 He must be really creative. 58:11.197 --> 58:13.219 He's hated a beard on his own face. 58:13.279 --> 58:14.420 He must be a genius. 58:14.641 --> 58:16.743 He must be a genius. 58:16.823 --> 58:18.585 You know, you should definitely, someone should do that. 58:18.645 --> 58:20.687 I bet there's some director out there now. 58:21.568 --> 58:24.330 Like a kind of Fred Flintstone, just a sort of grey area. 58:25.111 --> 58:26.671 Yeah, or just with a black marker. 58:26.851 --> 58:28.152 Oh, actual little lines. 58:28.872 --> 58:31.752 Now just like a solid thing, just draw it on. 58:31.772 --> 58:37.513 You could do it with gaffer tape if you don't want to commit to the actual, you know, marker. 58:37.933 --> 58:38.954 I think it's a very good idea. 58:39.274 --> 58:41.354 Anyway, I've shaved my beard off. 58:41.514 --> 58:47.755 I don't know why, I just woke up one morning and thought, you know, I can't hide all my life behind this beard. 58:48.115 --> 58:50.156 I've got to see what my stupid face looks like again. 58:51.056 --> 58:51.696 So there it was. 58:52.097 --> 58:58.521 But then, unfortunately, the whole, uh, back of my head, my hair, is now all long. 58:59.021 --> 59:03.744 And I've got kind of a shaggy 80s Lady Diana style hairstyle going on now. 59:04.644 --> 59:06.346 Which needs a bit of a trim, right? 59:06.606 --> 59:07.106 I like it. 59:07.266 --> 59:10.308 But I'm at that stage, um, because everyone's got short hair, right? 59:10.328 --> 59:14.651 You watch Prison Break, where every single character in that show has got like a buzz cut. 59:14.951 --> 59:16.592 You're talking about a prison show, though? 59:17.153 --> 59:20.296 Yeah, I know, but... You're just watching... Don't watch prison shows! 59:20.596 --> 59:24.759 Well, that is one way of approaching... Either they've got very short hair or long ponytails. 59:24.919 --> 59:26.120 You need to branch out. 59:26.160 --> 59:27.301 The baddies have ponytails. 59:27.321 --> 59:27.922 This is the thing. 59:27.942 --> 59:29.703 The baddies have ponytails. 59:30.123 --> 59:32.745 People with long hair are either... Are evil. 59:32.946 --> 59:33.406 They're evil. 59:33.446 --> 59:38.210 They're creeps, or they're sort of like fashion terrorists, like you've got in Die Hard, you know? 59:38.230 --> 59:38.610 That's true. 59:38.670 --> 59:44.235 All the German guys with their suits and their long hair, and we're going to blobs and I can tell me tower. 59:44.915 --> 59:46.296 and they're creeps. 59:46.516 --> 59:50.239 But you could go big Lebowski style where it's just, it's just mellow hair. 59:50.319 --> 59:51.199 He's got his beard. 59:51.239 --> 59:51.920 He's got the beard. 59:51.980 --> 59:52.620 He's got the beard. 59:52.660 --> 59:57.964 You can't, you can't, you know, otherwise it's too creepy and I need, I need to go and get a hair. 59:57.984 --> 01:00:03.808 But the problem is that I'm, I've reached the stage now where my face is letting me down all over the area. 01:00:05.329 --> 01:00:07.450 It's just a kind of puddingy lump and 01:00:08.451 --> 01:00:10.933 I can't really get away with a lot of hair. 01:00:10.953 --> 01:00:13.755 Like, I couldn't get away with the prison break buzz cut, for example. 01:00:14.196 --> 01:00:14.856 There's no question. 01:00:14.876 --> 01:00:15.236 Why not? 01:00:15.256 --> 01:00:16.637 Because it would look insane. 01:00:16.657 --> 01:00:20.320 I would just look like a great big suet pudding. 01:00:20.721 --> 01:00:21.241 No, you wouldn't. 01:00:21.261 --> 01:00:22.262 You could do a buzz cut. 01:00:22.702 --> 01:00:23.203 Just do it. 01:00:23.223 --> 01:00:24.343 It grows back anyway. 01:00:24.544 --> 01:00:24.944 I know. 01:00:24.964 --> 01:00:25.724 Do it for next show. 01:00:25.905 --> 01:00:26.845 Get it on the webcam. 01:00:27.025 --> 01:00:28.687 People can text in if they like your face. 01:00:30.528 --> 01:00:32.229 But then I've got to live with it for six months. 01:00:32.269 --> 01:00:34.151 Every morning I've got to wake up and go... No, three months. 01:00:34.171 --> 01:00:35.992 The way you grow hair is ridiculous. 01:00:36.032 --> 01:00:37.293 Your beard grows overnight. 01:00:37.594 --> 01:00:37.774 Yeah. 01:00:38.314 --> 01:00:39.935 Literally, you can see it growing now. 01:00:39.955 --> 01:00:43.136 You can hear it if you listen very carefully given the creak. 01:00:45.097 --> 01:00:46.497 Adam's face growing. 01:00:47.178 --> 01:00:57.602 What I wish, my fantasy is that like a stylist that listens to this show would say, I'm going to come in and I'm going to style you during the show one day and give you a major. 01:00:57.622 --> 01:00:58.402 It's because DJs do that a lot. 01:00:58.422 --> 01:01:00.003 They talk about things they really want. 01:01:00.123 --> 01:01:00.483 Right. 01:01:00.543 --> 01:01:02.144 Hoping that someone will send a box of it. 01:01:02.164 --> 01:01:02.324 Yeah. 01:01:02.364 --> 01:01:05.725 But I've never heard anyone ask, you know, sort of indirectly for a styling. 01:01:05.765 --> 01:01:21.200 I think it would be nice to have a makeover, you know, it's really important, because Trini and Susannah, they tend to ignore kind of white middle class people of a certain age, they go for all kinds of other shaped people, but people like me, kind of slightly lardy middle aged people. 01:01:21.220 --> 01:01:22.081 You're not lardy? 01:01:22.362 --> 01:01:28.768 Yeah, that's nice of you, but you know what I mean, we get overlooked, so I want some, I want a makeover. 01:01:28.868 --> 01:01:30.670 He wouldn't be touched by Trini and Susanna. 01:01:30.891 --> 01:01:32.893 They're a bit too forward for my liking. 01:01:32.914 --> 01:01:33.474 I wouldn't want them. 01:01:33.494 --> 01:01:34.856 I don't know. 01:01:34.876 --> 01:01:35.437 I wouldn't mind. 01:01:35.497 --> 01:01:36.699 Who's the spindly one? 01:01:37.219 --> 01:01:38.061 The spindly one? 01:01:38.081 --> 01:01:38.942 Yeah, I like her. 01:01:39.342 --> 01:01:39.823 Oh, dear. 01:01:39.903 --> 01:01:40.524 She's nice. 01:01:41.225 --> 01:01:43.588 I just feel I can't say what I really think on the radio. 01:01:44.349 --> 01:01:45.830 No, you probably can't. 01:01:46.450 --> 01:01:51.233 Let's play some more music now and we have to... We've got so much to pack in still! 01:01:51.253 --> 01:01:52.693 We're gonna ram this hour, surely. 01:01:52.934 --> 01:01:57.016 Wow, we've got some exciting stuff for you after this track. 01:01:57.056 --> 01:01:59.697 This is Pump It Up by Elvis Costello in session. 01:02:00.097 --> 01:02:05.400 Elvis Costello and the Attractions recorded live for the John Peel Show on Radio 113th of March 1978. 01:02:06.020 --> 01:02:09.182 Oh my lordy, that was a long time ago. 01:02:09.202 --> 01:02:09.282 Oh, a 6. 01:02:09.322 --> 01:02:09.282 78. 01:02:09.342 --> 01:02:10.763 What was that like? 01:02:13.464 --> 01:02:14.665 Thirty years ago now? 01:02:16.006 --> 01:02:16.966 Oh my goodness. 01:02:17.867 --> 01:02:20.348 Pump It Up, of course, was the track, and that sounded amazing. 01:02:21.209 --> 01:02:23.070 Right, we are in the midst of Text-o-Nation now. 01:02:23.090 --> 01:02:26.312 Should we have the little Text-o-Nation jingle there, James, if you've got it at your fingertips? 01:02:29.113 --> 01:02:29.854 Text-o-Nation! 01:02:29.994 --> 01:02:30.294 Text! 01:02:30.354 --> 01:02:30.654 Text! 01:02:30.694 --> 01:02:31.074 Text! 01:02:31.154 --> 01:02:31.935 Text-o-Nation! 01:02:31.955 --> 01:02:32.955 What if I don't want to? 01:02:33.176 --> 01:02:33.876 Text-o-Nation! 01:02:33.896 --> 01:02:34.997 But I'm using email. 01:02:35.177 --> 01:02:35.897 Is that a problem? 01:02:35.937 --> 01:02:36.478 It doesn't matter! 01:02:36.518 --> 01:02:36.778 Text! 01:02:39.295 --> 01:02:44.317 Thanks very much, and we are asking you to submit ideas for making the world a better place. 01:02:44.357 --> 01:02:46.358 They don't necessarily have to be serious. 01:02:46.378 --> 01:02:52.140 They can be fairly ludicrous, as some of them are, that we are receiving already. 01:02:52.500 --> 01:02:55.741 But here are just a couple that we've got so far. 01:02:55.841 --> 01:03:02.984 Candice says, or Candice says, run an extensive program to teach dogs and cats how to talk, drive, shop and take holidays. 01:03:03.735 --> 01:03:05.356 That's... Is that good though? 01:03:05.516 --> 01:03:07.576 How would that make the world an actually better place? 01:03:07.897 --> 01:03:10.598 That would just overcrowd the market, wouldn't it? 01:03:10.618 --> 01:03:12.538 Yeah, I suppose so. 01:03:12.919 --> 01:03:18.621 I've always thought squirrels were getting a little bit too cocky these days, and that they could be put to use. 01:03:18.661 --> 01:03:22.022 They look like they want a job now, they're so familiar with people in parks. 01:03:22.162 --> 01:03:23.182 They've got no fear, have they? 01:03:23.202 --> 01:03:25.683 No fear, they come right up to you, and they're almost saying, God, any nuts? 01:03:25.743 --> 01:03:26.584 You go, no, no, all right. 01:03:27.384 --> 01:03:28.224 It's very much like that. 01:03:28.244 --> 01:03:30.005 I think you could do something with squirrels, that's for sure. 01:03:30.065 --> 01:03:33.506 Well, you should maybe deprogram them, is what the squirrels need. 01:03:33.546 --> 01:03:36.406 I think they need to rejoin the, uh, fearful animal community. 01:03:36.486 --> 01:03:39.187 I wish they would, because I don't like the cocky- cocky squirrel. 01:03:39.207 --> 01:03:40.447 No one likes a cocky squirrel. 01:03:40.847 --> 01:03:43.288 Uh, here's another idea from George from Petersfield. 01:03:43.468 --> 01:03:48.549 Perhaps once a week, everyone should go and have a nice cup of tea, or a sherry, with an old person. 01:03:48.869 --> 01:03:52.930 It would cheer the old folk up, and us youngsters could hear some good war stories. 01:03:52.970 --> 01:03:54.231 You know, that's actually brilliant. 01:03:54.491 --> 01:03:55.251 That is a good idea. 01:03:55.271 --> 01:03:56.111 That's a brilliant idea. 01:03:56.371 --> 01:03:58.973 I think it would make everyone a bit more cheerful, says George. 01:03:59.273 --> 01:04:01.974 Old people are good fun, he adds at the end there. 01:04:02.294 --> 01:04:03.955 I don't think you can argue with any of that, George. 01:04:03.995 --> 01:04:04.916 That is a good idea. 01:04:04.976 --> 01:04:07.257 I've got one that's a bit like that from James Heale. 01:04:07.578 --> 01:04:09.178 It's sort of about being told stories. 01:04:09.238 --> 01:04:16.222 It's James suggesting that the news is read by Stephen Fry or somebody with a very nice, comforting, warm and friendly voice. 01:04:16.583 --> 01:04:17.723 Yeah. 01:04:18.224 --> 01:04:24.047 I met this very famous man called Oliver Postgate who came up with the Clangers and Noggin and Noggin, all these kinds of things. 01:04:24.247 --> 01:04:41.709 engine I've all the engine bagpuss he his voice if he were to read the news it would it would make the world feel better well am I right in saying that you were going to use his voice as the voice of the book in the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy yes we'd done some tests with him it didn't work out in the end but he was absolutely brilliant he's got one of those voices that just makes everything sound good 01:04:41.989 --> 01:04:43.650 Yeah, it's one of the world's most comforting voices. 01:04:43.690 --> 01:04:45.411 You're right though, Stephen Fry is a close second. 01:04:45.431 --> 01:04:46.592 Yes, absolutely. 01:04:46.692 --> 01:04:51.074 Here's an idea from the worryingly named Mark Killing. 01:04:52.335 --> 01:04:54.996 He is doing the housework in North Shields. 01:04:55.216 --> 01:04:56.837 He says, Mark Killing. 01:04:57.037 --> 01:04:58.678 Is his name re- is surname really killing? 01:04:58.698 --> 01:05:00.398 I mean, that's a problematic surname, isn't it? 01:05:00.418 --> 01:05:03.059 Maybe he's just like, he's made that up for the- Mark killing. 01:05:03.199 --> 01:05:04.219 So we'd read it out. 01:05:04.239 --> 01:05:05.540 I mean, it is quite a good name. 01:05:05.900 --> 01:05:06.260 Killing. 01:05:06.800 --> 01:05:07.420 Mark killing. 01:05:08.060 --> 01:05:08.801 Um, what do you do? 01:05:09.181 --> 01:05:09.901 Mainly killing. 01:05:10.441 --> 01:05:12.542 Um, would be good to be announced at an airport. 01:05:12.742 --> 01:05:13.002 Mark says- 01:05:13.482 --> 01:05:13.962 The killing. 01:05:14.342 --> 01:05:15.523 No, that would be bad at an airport. 01:05:16.163 --> 01:05:18.224 Mark says, use more wave machines. 01:05:18.664 --> 01:05:21.705 Get everyone to jump up and down in the sea and make waves. 01:05:21.845 --> 01:05:23.625 It makes sense, he puts in capitals. 01:05:23.965 --> 01:05:25.166 But that's a couple of ideas, though. 01:05:25.186 --> 01:05:30.308 I mean, use more wave machines is one thing, but then he's advocating people just jumping up and down in the sea and making waves. 01:05:30.348 --> 01:05:37.210 Well, isn't there a dance floor in a club in Holland where the more the people dance on the floor, the more electricity gets generated? 01:05:37.230 --> 01:05:37.270 No. 01:05:37.810 --> 01:05:38.490 Yeah, absolutely. 01:05:38.510 --> 01:05:39.991 Someone was telling me about this yesterday. 01:05:40.011 --> 01:05:47.773 The, the, the, the, the, the, a lot of the electricity and the lights under the floor are generated by how many, how, how much dancing has got, how much pressure people are putting on the floor with their feet. 01:05:48.113 --> 01:05:51.134 And of course if they reach maximum, you know, velocity. 01:05:51.354 --> 01:05:52.175 The place explodes. 01:05:52.235 --> 01:05:52.775 Goes green. 01:05:53.095 --> 01:05:54.075 It goes green. 01:05:54.115 --> 01:05:54.415 Yeah. 01:05:54.555 --> 01:05:55.096 Green lights. 01:05:55.476 --> 01:05:56.056 Green lights. 01:05:56.176 --> 01:05:56.956 Yeah. 01:05:57.456 --> 01:05:58.157 That's a good idea. 01:05:58.177 --> 01:05:58.857 That's true, yeah. 01:05:59.577 --> 01:06:02.000 And if you get a really duff DJ, there's just a power cut. 01:06:02.120 --> 01:06:03.702 Yeah, it just goes... Everyone has to go. 01:06:04.482 --> 01:06:05.904 Candles are passed around. 01:06:05.924 --> 01:06:07.365 That's a genius idea. 01:06:08.467 --> 01:06:09.428 Okay, here's one from Emma. 01:06:09.648 --> 01:06:15.534 Dear Adam and Garth, I think all the world leaders should get together with some good wine and some nice cheese. 01:06:15.874 --> 01:06:17.576 They would solve all the world's problems. 01:06:17.876 --> 01:06:18.637 Just like that. 01:06:19.098 --> 01:06:19.878 Love you, bye! 01:06:20.179 --> 01:06:20.619 Says Emma. 01:06:20.779 --> 01:06:21.080 Cheese. 01:06:21.440 --> 01:06:22.301 Thanks very much, Emma. 01:06:22.361 --> 01:06:23.402 I mean, that is a good idea. 01:06:23.442 --> 01:06:28.328 That's basically, you can't argue with that kind of logic, you know what I mean? 01:06:28.348 --> 01:06:30.010 A bit nicer manners. 01:06:30.150 --> 01:06:31.531 Just be a bit more civilized. 01:06:31.632 --> 01:06:37.899 Poor scorn over John Lennon's whole body for writing Imagine. 01:06:38.059 --> 01:06:39.520 In certain quarters they did, you know? 01:06:39.581 --> 01:06:41.683 I think it's a lovely song, but certain people go, 01:06:41.843 --> 01:06:43.444 Oh, it's John Lennon's worst song. 01:06:43.824 --> 01:06:46.506 It was the worst song he ever wrote, you know, Imagine Rubbish. 01:06:46.866 --> 01:06:51.529 You know, I just think, no, because they're putting it into the category of Ebony and Ivory, which really is awful. 01:06:51.569 --> 01:06:51.770 Yeah. 01:06:51.990 --> 01:06:53.411 But I think Imagine's brilliant. 01:06:53.431 --> 01:06:54.291 Imagine's amazing. 01:06:54.331 --> 01:06:54.912 It's amazing. 01:06:55.052 --> 01:06:58.614 It's where he got it right and the other guy got it wrong with Ebony and Ivory. 01:06:58.674 --> 01:07:02.977 You know, at the end of The Killing Fields, um, suddenly Imagine kicks in on the soundtrack. 01:07:03.317 --> 01:07:07.239 Well, it starts off diegetic, and then it goes non-diegetic, i.e. 01:07:07.299 --> 01:07:12.261 it's being played on a little radio in a car or something, and then suddenly it goes all cinemascope. 01:07:12.541 --> 01:07:15.743 And it is a moment where you do feel quite grotesquely manipulated. 01:07:15.763 --> 01:07:16.603 Do you know what I mean? 01:07:16.623 --> 01:07:19.325 But at the same time, you submit to the power of Imagine. 01:07:19.545 --> 01:07:21.025 I mean, that's a lovely song. 01:07:21.706 --> 01:07:25.327 Here is one more very good idea, just before we play a bit more music. 01:07:26.468 --> 01:07:27.949 And this one is from Lewis. 01:07:28.969 --> 01:07:45.303 and Lewis is from Ilfricoom and he says that he actually submitted this idea to Dave Gorman's show Genius and they liked it enough to feature it but the only problem was that he says I had to schlep up to London to pitch the idea in person on the show and I couldn't be bothered. 01:07:46.139 --> 01:07:46.559 Wow! 01:07:47.180 --> 01:07:49.802 Nilfriku, he says it's only a four-hour drive, isn't it? 01:07:49.942 --> 01:07:51.303 He couldn't be bothered. 01:07:51.323 --> 01:07:53.224 Get the train from Barnes to Paul, you'll be there, don't you? 01:07:53.244 --> 01:07:54.045 So he waded up. 01:07:54.565 --> 01:07:55.606 Eh, Dave Gorman. 01:07:55.686 --> 01:07:59.809 Anyway, we are the beneficiaries of Lewis's incredible laziness. 01:08:00.269 --> 01:08:01.450 He sent us the idea. 01:08:01.770 --> 01:08:14.999 He says, sandwich a layer of liquid crystals in the middle of a windscreen, a car windscreen, that is, and wire this to the burglar alarm so that a stolen car displays the word stolen in black letters that fill the screen. 01:08:15.599 --> 01:08:21.941 This not only makes the car hard to drive, it virtually guarantees that every policeman will flag you down. 01:08:22.361 --> 01:08:32.923 The advantage of this over an audible alarm is that it doesn't require as much or any energy to maintain, so it won't run down your battery and therefore it doesn't need time out after a minute or so. 01:08:33.203 --> 01:08:36.324 Also, it won't annoy your neighbours if it goes off accidentally in the middle of the night. 01:08:36.604 --> 01:08:39.245 In fact, the only person at inconveniences is the thief. 01:08:39.685 --> 01:08:41.326 It's genuinely genius. 01:08:41.466 --> 01:08:45.968 That is a good- I mean, what are the disadvantages of that, is that you would accidentally set it off yourself. 01:08:46.288 --> 01:08:47.089 Oh, that'd be embarrassing. 01:08:47.109 --> 01:08:50.310 And then you could, like, you can't go to those shops, because people think they've stolen it. 01:08:50.330 --> 01:08:55.013 Right, and the cops would be flagging you down, you have to, nah, look, I guess you just carry around your licenses. 01:08:55.053 --> 01:08:56.393 Yes, you just have to deal with it. 01:08:56.753 --> 01:08:58.794 You only deal with a little cracked window or something like that. 01:08:59.094 --> 01:09:00.355 But that is a brilliant idea. 01:09:00.655 --> 01:09:01.496 Louis, there you go. 01:09:01.576 --> 01:09:02.756 Louis Villazón. 01:09:02.896 --> 01:09:06.738 You want to get out of Ilfa Cum and get that down to someone in London who's got a big checkbook. 01:09:07.078 --> 01:09:08.259 Exactly, like Dave Corman. 01:09:09.200 --> 01:09:14.183 Now, here is some more music for you, and it's the Kaiser Chiefs with Never Miss a Beat. 01:09:14.203 --> 01:09:23.570 That's another one from the Kaiser Chiefs Hit Factory, the unstoppable musical juggernaut that is the Chiefs with Never Miss a Beat. 01:09:24.070 --> 01:09:25.591 This is BBC Six music. 01:09:26.412 --> 01:09:30.875 Now, Garth, I'm going to hand over to you to explain to the listeners what we're going to play them next. 01:09:31.115 --> 01:09:46.788 Well, when you're listening to normal radio, analog radio, uh, well you're certainly in London, I get this thing when, um, I'll be listening to some nice little song, I don't know, Eva Cassidy will come on singing something like Over the Rainbow, and then suddenly a pirate radio station will come in and 01:09:47.368 --> 01:09:51.771 And he'll go straight back to Eva Cassidy, as if nothing happened. 01:09:51.791 --> 01:09:53.112 Do you think, was that just me? 01:09:53.773 --> 01:10:00.097 And of course, with the digital radio, you don't get any of the joys of pirate radio interruptions. 01:10:00.617 --> 01:10:08.703 And Adam and I were talking about this this week, and we were saying, it'd be nice to sort of give you the analog experience, you digital listeners. 01:10:09.543 --> 01:10:12.185 So we've made some of our own pirate radio interruptions. 01:10:13.005 --> 01:10:15.167 Actually, haven't you made some of your little examples? 01:10:15.467 --> 01:10:25.113 Yeah, here's a couple, I've woven a couple of these into a track that we'll play later on, but let's see, play the first one, James, the cake one. 01:10:37.455 --> 01:10:47.401 That's the kind of thing that you get, like, especially, um, in South London, you wonder, you know, you're driving across the bandwidths and the airwaves and stuff, and you get all those shows suddenly chiming in. 01:10:47.701 --> 01:10:48.162 I love it. 01:10:48.322 --> 01:10:51.944 I really like how, and it's always, you always come in at some stupid bit. 01:10:52.244 --> 01:10:52.384 Yeah. 01:10:52.424 --> 01:10:53.585 Like you said, like a nice bit. 01:10:53.725 --> 01:10:54.105 Okay. 01:10:54.786 --> 01:10:59.068 And, um, but, uh, because what they do, they're main, they're all unified. 01:10:59.148 --> 01:11:01.990 A lot of these pirate stations by their bad mic technique, right? 01:11:02.010 --> 01:11:02.130 Yeah. 01:11:02.150 --> 01:11:03.571 They speak into it really close. 01:11:03.631 --> 01:11:04.752 I go really, really close. 01:11:05.112 --> 01:11:06.593 And they're like leaning 01:11:06.693 --> 01:11:08.094 and presumably they've got a little crappy. 01:11:08.194 --> 01:11:15.059 And they drop the music right down, so it'll be going... That sort of thing. 01:11:15.179 --> 01:11:18.401 Have you ever listened to a pirate station like that for like any length of time? 01:11:18.722 --> 01:11:20.783 Yeah, a few times when I was at art school. 01:11:20.843 --> 01:11:21.103 Right. 01:11:21.844 --> 01:11:23.945 But I was trying to get into something I couldn't get into. 01:11:25.907 --> 01:11:28.028 I tried on those trousers, but they just didn't fit. 01:11:28.189 --> 01:11:28.969 It's exhausting, isn't it? 01:11:28.989 --> 01:11:34.613 The best way I would imagine, the best time to listen to a pirate station like that is when you're just driving around, I guess, right? 01:11:34.633 --> 01:11:35.494 They're designed for... 01:11:36.114 --> 01:11:40.377 uh, being played on incredibly over powerful stereos and annoying people at traffic. 01:11:40.397 --> 01:11:42.378 But they do talk over a lot. 01:11:42.438 --> 01:11:45.961 I mean, we get emails saying we talk too much, but at least we don't talk over the record. 01:11:45.981 --> 01:11:47.682 They talk over the entire record. 01:11:47.702 --> 01:11:48.463 Most of the time. 01:11:48.663 --> 01:11:48.903 Yeah. 01:11:49.103 --> 01:11:50.564 Hold tight, hold tight. 01:11:50.744 --> 01:11:51.745 I did another one. 01:11:51.865 --> 01:11:56.508 I was trying to imagine what, like, cause you get different types of stuff, then it's not always dance music and stuff, right? 01:11:56.688 --> 01:12:03.773 You were talking about... Well, Nick, who I worked with, Nick Goldsmith, he was saying that he was driving through Golders Green and there was a Hasidic Jewish pirate radio station. 01:12:04.193 --> 01:12:18.968 and what are they doing just talking or playing music and playing some nice records and talking over the top of it talking over the top of it yeah i'll try and find them i did one for like a a classical station that i thought would sound a little bit like this 01:12:27.737 --> 01:12:31.441 you need to get a little stab at that and then you carry on with your Kaiser Chiefs. 01:12:32.322 --> 01:12:41.210 But what I think what we've both done is take a nice song, a nice six music song, and then put our own digital, sorry, analogue interruptions into it. 01:12:42.471 --> 01:12:44.373 And I think we'll play one in this half hour and one the next. 01:12:44.613 --> 01:12:44.873 Yeah. 01:12:44.933 --> 01:12:45.574 So what have you got? 01:12:45.914 --> 01:12:49.318 Well, I've got a really nice song by Fleet Foxes called Mykonos. 01:12:50.018 --> 01:12:50.719 Did I say that right? 01:12:52.240 --> 01:12:57.443 And it is really nice, I'm sorry, I really like the song, but it's been butchered by the Pirate Radio Interruptions. 01:12:57.643 --> 01:12:58.203 Shall we play that? 01:12:58.484 --> 01:12:58.984 See what you think. 01:13:16.837 --> 01:13:21.378 Yo we got a call here from Tiana, she says she's going out tonight and she's gonna be wearing some shoes. 01:13:21.498 --> 01:13:25.420 Big shout out to me grandma. 01:13:25.540 --> 01:13:26.620 Oh grandma! 01:13:43.948 --> 01:13:44.669 Hold tight! 01:13:45.229 --> 01:13:46.190 Hold tight! 01:13:46.330 --> 01:13:47.551 Hold tight! 01:13:47.591 --> 01:13:48.692 That's too tight! 01:13:49.093 --> 01:13:50.634 There you go! 01:13:50.814 --> 01:13:51.995 There you go! 01:14:12.025 --> 01:14:24.524 He knows in the snow-tied mind I find Hatching from the sea to your thin mind All night 01:14:25.776 --> 01:14:37.221 You will get me wrong With a vision of a gentle call And I search to maybe dissipate She- She- She- She- She- 01:14:59.138 --> 01:15:23.528 The cool cool cool the cool star how I wonder what you are up above that wall so high like a diamond in the sky Brother you don't need to turn me away I was waiting down at the ancient gate 01:15:50.533 --> 01:16:01.380 One day all the people of the world will be free And we will all just dance together like a dealing matrix tune 01:16:33.747 --> 01:16:41.672 Oh, thank God we had fun Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall Humpty Dumpty had a big fall 01:17:11.417 --> 01:17:18.341 There you go, that's my pirate radio interrupted version of Mykonos by Fleetfoxes. 01:17:19.341 --> 01:17:20.262 Like, hold tight. 01:17:20.902 --> 01:17:21.402 Hold tight. 01:17:21.422 --> 01:17:22.583 That's my favorite one. 01:17:22.823 --> 01:17:26.485 That's too tight! 01:17:26.785 --> 01:17:30.227 Well, I stayed up quite late last night making those and I had the best time ever. 01:17:30.247 --> 01:17:31.267 That's enjoyable, isn't it? 01:17:31.427 --> 01:17:32.748 Oh, it's so much fun to do that. 01:17:32.788 --> 01:17:35.389 We can pepper a few of those throughout the podcast as well. 01:17:35.449 --> 01:17:36.490 Yeah, slap them in there. 01:17:36.690 --> 01:17:41.817 You know, don't forget listeners, this show is available in filleted form as a podcast. 01:17:42.137 --> 01:17:48.406 You can go and download it from the Six Music website or from iTunes or... Can they download it from the Six Music website? 01:17:48.888 --> 01:17:50.149 They have to go to iTunes, don't they? 01:17:50.189 --> 01:17:51.530 Yeah, they can go there. 01:17:51.550 --> 01:17:52.450 So you can do what you want. 01:17:52.630 --> 01:17:53.131 Hey, listen. 01:17:53.551 --> 01:17:54.251 You can just relax. 01:17:54.271 --> 01:17:55.912 You can even pretend you're downloading it. 01:17:55.932 --> 01:17:57.413 You don't even have to download it. 01:17:57.814 --> 01:18:03.958 You can just go up to a wall and draw like a picture of a computer on the wall and go, down like them podcasts. 01:18:04.358 --> 01:18:05.639 Down like them podcasts. 01:18:06.899 --> 01:18:07.860 Why would you do that? 01:18:07.900 --> 01:18:08.961 But that's an option. 01:18:09.401 --> 01:18:10.061 That's what I'm saying. 01:18:10.081 --> 01:18:10.562 Just relax. 01:18:10.602 --> 01:18:11.182 Do what you like. 01:18:11.622 --> 01:18:12.523 Do what you like. 01:18:12.803 --> 01:18:13.564 Who sang that song? 01:18:14.204 --> 01:18:14.925 Do what you like. 01:18:15.405 --> 01:18:16.506 Oh, it'll come to me in a minute. 01:18:16.906 --> 01:18:17.807 Give me a second. 01:18:17.887 --> 01:18:18.788 It's one for the listeners. 01:18:19.329 --> 01:18:27.356 Internet, we're just about to go to the news, but don't forget listeners, Text the Nation, which we're going to be wrapping up shortly, is about ideas for making the world a better place, and we'd love to hear yours. 01:18:27.736 --> 01:18:31.579 Right now, it's just gone 11.30, and it's time for the news. 01:18:31.840 --> 01:18:34.022 MGMT, are they still so hot right now? 01:18:34.622 --> 01:18:35.183 I think so. 01:18:35.363 --> 01:18:37.024 They're so hot right now. 01:18:37.124 --> 01:18:37.885 That's kids. 01:18:38.606 --> 01:18:41.008 And it's time now for us to wrap up Text the Nation. 01:18:43.407 --> 01:18:44.710 What if I don't want to? 01:18:44.730 --> 01:18:46.153 But I'm using email. 01:18:46.173 --> 01:18:46.694 Is that a problem? 01:18:53.373 --> 01:19:00.259 We've been asking you for your ideas, some just sort of good ideas, I suppose, things that would make the world a better place in some way. 01:19:00.739 --> 01:19:06.184 And before we read out a couple more of your ideas, here's a few that I found on the BBC's website. 01:19:06.224 --> 01:19:08.686 This was about 2003. 01:19:08.866 --> 01:19:12.709 They did something where they were asking people for ideas to improve the world. 01:19:12.749 --> 01:19:15.591 And this was one from Chris Coombs in the UK. 01:19:16.272 --> 01:19:17.613 Have you ever been to the UK, Garth? 01:19:17.773 --> 01:19:18.494 I've heard it's great. 01:19:19.034 --> 01:19:19.655 It's not as rubbish. 01:19:19.995 --> 01:19:20.175 Okay. 01:19:20.356 --> 01:19:21.737 Uh, Chris Coombs says, 01:19:35.566 --> 01:19:53.543 that's a bitch i mean it's not exactly romantic is it it's not really going into it's practical so you could buy like a little chunk a little marriage chunk you know what i mean so depending on how much you like the person no you think that falls apart man because a minute minute you start you're aware of an end approaching i think he's gonna 01:19:54.164 --> 01:19:55.265 That's not right! 01:19:55.445 --> 01:20:02.708 You know, what it's useful for is people who've been married once before and got divorced and they still want to get married because some people love getting married, you know? 01:20:02.728 --> 01:20:06.631 They just get a buzz, a sort of caffeine buzz out of the marriage bit and it trails off. 01:20:06.651 --> 01:20:08.451 You go like, oh, how many times have you been married? 01:20:08.471 --> 01:20:09.432 Been married four times? 01:20:09.472 --> 01:20:12.113 You think, what's your problem, you lunatic? 01:20:12.794 --> 01:20:13.794 You're not getting the message. 01:20:13.814 --> 01:20:17.156 You're not making notes where I've gone wrong in previous marriages. 01:20:17.176 --> 01:20:18.317 Oh, I've lost the notes again. 01:20:21.138 --> 01:20:27.781 But, you know, it would be good if you're someone you just think, maybe I haven't found the right woman, I've been unlucky, whatever, blah, blah, blah. 01:20:28.282 --> 01:20:33.865 But also you have that cautiousness that's been instilled after years of failing in your marriages. 01:20:34.705 --> 01:20:38.287 You think, I'll just go for a short term contract, I'll hedge my bets a little bit. 01:20:38.707 --> 01:20:42.370 and then we can always renew the option after a five-year period. 01:20:42.470 --> 01:20:42.930 You know what? 01:20:43.010 --> 01:20:50.196 That might help because then people's expectations are lower and they still think, well, I'm just going to enjoy myself and maybe that could lead to a longer one. 01:20:50.456 --> 01:20:50.996 A renewal? 01:20:51.297 --> 01:20:59.803 I mean, it's kind of completely against the entire idea of getting married and pledging yourself to one person for the rest of your life. 01:21:00.243 --> 01:21:02.445 But on the other hand, it's practical. 01:21:02.905 --> 01:21:05.127 So I think that's a good idea there from Chris Coombs. 01:21:05.527 --> 01:21:08.429 And this is another idea that was on their website there. 01:21:08.469 --> 01:21:10.630 This is from Lucy, also in the UK. 01:21:12.111 --> 01:21:12.691 No, no, sorry. 01:21:13.732 --> 01:21:14.192 I've lost it. 01:21:14.892 --> 01:21:15.693 I've lost it. 01:21:15.733 --> 01:21:16.233 No, here we go. 01:21:16.293 --> 01:21:17.094 Sorry, Amanda. 01:21:17.534 --> 01:21:22.717 She says, End the working week with an informal office meeting on Friday afternoons. 01:21:23.177 --> 01:21:25.859 Have drinks, nuts and crisps on hand. 01:21:26.339 --> 01:21:33.263 Selected departments can make presentations on the work they do to encourage understanding and interactivity within the company. 01:21:33.763 --> 01:21:34.184 Amanda. 01:21:34.244 --> 01:21:37.068 That's exactly the kind of thing I would hate more than anything. 01:21:37.208 --> 01:21:40.493 There's nothing worse than sort of having to hang out with the people you work with, isn't there? 01:21:40.533 --> 01:21:41.915 People do that already though, don't they? 01:21:41.955 --> 01:21:42.796 Yeah, and they hate it. 01:21:43.337 --> 01:21:46.421 Crisps, nuts, and drinks on hand. 01:21:49.418 --> 01:21:53.239 Amanda, Amanda, have you provided the crisps and the nuts and the drinks? 01:21:54.440 --> 01:22:01.422 Chris, I've got drinks and crisps and three nuts but not enough nuts for the Friday meeting. 01:22:01.462 --> 01:22:03.023 Would you like me to get more nuts? 01:22:03.563 --> 01:22:04.624 Amanda, it's OK. 01:22:04.644 --> 01:22:08.145 We don't need that many nuts because Charles doesn't like nuts. 01:22:09.626 --> 01:22:12.246 Roseanne doesn't like nuts and Philip doesn't like nuts. 01:22:12.306 --> 01:22:16.008 So there's only one person that does like nuts and three nuts is enough for them. 01:22:17.483 --> 01:22:18.284 So we'll be fine. 01:22:18.324 --> 01:22:18.845 Thanks, Amanda. 01:22:18.885 --> 01:22:23.654 That's the way I imagine that, uh... I guess in that kind of office, it would be welcome. 01:22:24.318 --> 01:22:25.859 Yeah. 01:22:25.959 --> 01:22:37.567 You know, it's a nice idea, obviously, just to make the work environment a more fun place, but if it comes to that, that you have to engineer nuts, crisps and drinks afternoons, then I think you've got bigger fish to fry. 01:22:37.587 --> 01:22:39.569 Have you got any ideas there from Oliver Sisko? 01:22:39.649 --> 01:22:40.909 Rooney from Wood Green. 01:22:40.970 --> 01:22:46.593 He's written in saying, it's not a world-saving thing, but he was saying houses should have central locking like cars. 01:22:46.874 --> 01:22:51.397 This would make it easier to get in and also improve security as people wouldn't have to fumble around for keys at night. 01:22:52.037 --> 01:22:53.518 Yeah, it's not practical, though, is it? 01:22:53.538 --> 01:22:57.080 I mean, if you're a big, rich person, then you can have that. 01:22:57.260 --> 01:23:03.303 You know, you press a button and all kinds of port colossus would come down and things would go droop and rock and make that noise. 01:23:03.323 --> 01:23:04.683 Welcome, owner of house. 01:23:05.744 --> 01:23:06.444 That's what I'd have. 01:23:06.564 --> 01:23:07.805 Welcome back, Brad Pitt. 01:23:08.025 --> 01:23:08.485 Hello. 01:23:08.705 --> 01:23:09.365 Hello, Brad. 01:23:09.385 --> 01:23:10.806 You look well. 01:23:12.067 --> 01:23:13.187 Look at your new children. 01:23:13.327 --> 01:23:14.208 They are beautiful. 01:23:15.508 --> 01:23:16.889 Their house is unlocked for you now. 01:23:17.269 --> 01:23:18.870 Angelina has cooked your tea. 01:23:22.893 --> 01:23:23.833 Your new film was good. 01:23:24.234 --> 01:23:27.116 It did really well, even if it did badly. 01:23:27.917 --> 01:23:29.298 Thanks for your idea, though, Rooney. 01:23:29.478 --> 01:23:32.280 That's a very good idea, The Runeter. 01:23:32.380 --> 01:23:33.821 Do you mind if I call you The Runeter? 01:23:33.902 --> 01:23:35.723 The Runatron, as I like to call it. 01:23:35.763 --> 01:23:36.524 The Runeter. 01:23:37.945 --> 01:23:42.548 Now, here's one from Nick McMillan in Abu Dhabi, where he listens to the show. 01:23:42.568 --> 01:23:45.091 Have you ever been to Abu Dhabi, Garth? 01:23:45.311 --> 01:23:45.451 No. 01:23:45.691 --> 01:23:46.812 It's supposed to be a wonderful place. 01:23:46.992 --> 01:23:47.252 Really? 01:23:47.452 --> 01:23:53.535 Not allowed to do anything naughty there, drinking wise or anything like that, otherwise they'll do all kinds of things to you. 01:23:53.995 --> 01:23:56.536 But if you behave yourself, you can have a wonderful time in Abu Dhabi. 01:23:57.677 --> 01:24:00.318 Why do I think you're leading to some ludicrous joke? 01:24:00.378 --> 01:24:00.758 I'm not. 01:24:01.038 --> 01:24:01.539 I've just heard. 01:24:01.559 --> 01:24:03.059 You look to me with your baby eyes. 01:24:03.079 --> 01:24:05.040 It's a millionaire's playground and they do mad things. 01:24:05.060 --> 01:24:07.221 They build underwater hotels and stuff like that. 01:24:07.241 --> 01:24:07.602 Oh, that's right. 01:24:07.622 --> 01:24:11.143 They've got one in the shape of... I think they've got islands that they've built in the shape of the planet Earth. 01:24:12.024 --> 01:24:14.205 And an underwater hotel that you consider... 01:24:14.545 --> 01:24:18.988 They do all this mad stuff and they do all this crazy fun stuff and they say, but you can't drink anything. 01:24:19.168 --> 01:24:20.709 Otherwise we'll do things. 01:24:20.769 --> 01:24:21.289 Don't touch that. 01:24:21.669 --> 01:24:22.830 You can't have any fun. 01:24:23.891 --> 01:24:25.932 Not that you, you know, you can only have fun by drinking. 01:24:26.212 --> 01:24:30.635 Anyway, Nick McMillan says, Hi, I've got a good idea to make the world a better place. 01:24:30.975 --> 01:24:33.957 Charcoal infused underpants for the smellier days. 01:24:34.577 --> 01:24:45.482 The charcoal could also have a pine-fresh crystal, er, could also have pine-fresh crystals in it, releasing the smell of forests after summer rain, er, every time you let one go. 01:24:45.502 --> 01:24:47.823 Well, I've always thought they should do that on aeroplane seats. 01:24:48.483 --> 01:24:54.866 They should fill them with a kind of the seats with a deodoriser, because basically you're trapped in a tube with 400 people farting. 01:24:54.886 --> 01:24:55.747 A big farty bucket. 01:24:55.847 --> 01:24:56.407 It's horrible. 01:24:56.627 --> 01:24:56.847 Yeah. 01:24:57.107 --> 01:25:00.068 Once you know that, once you get that into your head, you can't breathe. 01:25:00.368 --> 01:25:00.969 You turn blue. 01:25:00.989 --> 01:25:10.432 Well, the terrible thing that people tell you, and this is a slightly revolting thing, but it's a quarter to 12 now, is at a certain point in your life people say to you, you know what farts are, right? 01:25:10.872 --> 01:25:11.813 They're particles. 01:25:12.426 --> 01:25:12.666 Yes. 01:25:12.726 --> 01:25:23.610 And you think, oh, no, don't tell me that, because thereafter, especially if you walk through someone else's noxious gas zone, you just feel very unhappy about the whole thing. 01:25:24.070 --> 01:25:25.991 Anyway, I'm sorry, that was rather unpleasant. 01:25:26.011 --> 01:25:26.511 Sorry, everyone. 01:25:26.751 --> 01:25:30.272 Thing to be chatting about there, but Nick, thank you very much for your idea. 01:25:30.612 --> 01:25:33.493 Hope you're having a good time there in Abu Dhabi in the Millionaire's Playground. 01:25:33.713 --> 01:25:34.954 Just behave yourself, all right? 01:25:35.274 --> 01:25:38.555 Thank you very much to everyone who texted and emailed for text donation. 01:25:38.595 --> 01:25:40.335 Sorry if we didn't read out your text anymore. 01:25:40.355 --> 01:25:41.916 We read them all and we really appreciate them. 01:25:42.796 --> 01:25:44.237 But thank you very much indeed for those. 01:25:44.257 --> 01:25:53.342 We're going to play some music right now and afterwards I'm going to unveil my track that I've peppered with a few pirate interruptions. 01:25:53.843 --> 01:25:56.224 But first, we've got a bit of classic David Bowie. 01:25:56.264 --> 01:25:57.064 Here's Sound and Vision. 01:25:57.305 --> 01:25:59.086 No point in arguing with that. 01:25:59.326 --> 01:26:01.407 That's David Bowie with Sound and Vision. 01:26:02.247 --> 01:26:03.008 I'm so ignorant. 01:26:03.088 --> 01:26:05.849 I think I was talking about, I was imagining Dubai. 01:26:06.009 --> 01:26:07.710 Dubai is the millionaire's playground place. 01:26:07.730 --> 01:26:08.631 Yeah, Dubai is, yeah. 01:26:09.251 --> 01:26:10.332 Whereabouts is Abu Dhabi then. 01:26:10.712 --> 01:26:12.954 Abu Dhabi is not there. 01:26:12.994 --> 01:26:13.675 It's not there. 01:26:13.735 --> 01:26:14.675 It's nowhere, yeah. 01:26:14.755 --> 01:26:15.936 No, I'm doing a George Bush. 01:26:15.996 --> 01:26:17.357 I'm glad I know where that is. 01:26:18.038 --> 01:26:18.739 Anyway, there we go. 01:26:18.859 --> 01:26:19.479 Get my map out. 01:26:19.579 --> 01:26:26.605 Anyway, now folks, we played earlier on Garth's Fleet Fox's track with the Pirate Interruptions. 01:26:27.085 --> 01:26:28.507 We're going to play your track right now. 01:26:28.987 --> 01:26:36.233 In fact, we're going to play Reckoner because we're going to do Song Wars remix of Reckoner next week, myself and Garth. 01:26:36.693 --> 01:26:52.794 but here it is all messed up with pirate interruptions this is radio this is their new single right yeah it is uh fire it off then James it's got the mellow beginning quite mellow wonderful track by the way but i've ruined it with pirate interruptions here we go 01:27:40.911 --> 01:27:45.078 Kathy says, Mark, I've been sick of my legs. 01:27:45.198 --> 01:27:47.162 I've got to go up now. 01:28:28.214 --> 01:28:29.898 She's left her coat behind. 01:28:29.918 --> 01:28:33.908 It's like her black hole weave. 01:28:34.008 --> 01:28:35.913 Like her belt forever. 01:29:08.775 --> 01:29:10.136 Ripples on a plane 01:29:51.623 --> 01:29:54.126 What a nice bit of cake now. 01:29:54.467 --> 01:29:56.369 What a nice bit of cake. 01:30:39.189 --> 01:30:40.244 thoughts. 01:31:22.112 --> 01:31:24.054 It sounds like Take On Me at the end there, don't you think? 01:31:24.414 --> 01:31:28.518 Take on me. 01:31:29.079 --> 01:31:30.580 Take on me. 01:31:30.601 --> 01:31:34.464 Oh, that was a superb bit of pirate interrupting there. 01:31:34.664 --> 01:31:36.526 It's enjoyable, isn't it, doing the interruptions. 01:31:36.566 --> 01:31:37.387 Ah, that was lovely. 01:31:37.507 --> 01:31:39.789 You're standing far more authentic than mine as well. 01:31:40.510 --> 01:31:42.552 Nice little, little bit of cake. 01:31:42.752 --> 01:31:43.653 Come with the cake. 01:31:44.934 --> 01:31:50.518 Well, folks, we won't be able to put those in our podcast, obviously, because the music won't be cleared. 01:31:51.199 --> 01:31:54.562 Our music is original, but the music surrounding it is not. 01:31:55.743 --> 01:32:01.267 It is somebody else's property, so you'll have to do listen again if you want to hear those again. 01:32:01.748 --> 01:32:06.532 You can listen against the show on the iPlayer or through the 6 Music website. 01:32:07.272 --> 01:32:14.619 Um, but of course, if you want to hear the filleted bits, plus a few more new nuggets, a couple of little tiny new nuggets, then download the podcast. 01:32:15.240 --> 01:32:18.002 You'll be able to do that from, uh, I think tomorrow evening onwards. 01:32:19.083 --> 01:32:20.865 And that's pretty much it for our show today. 01:32:20.905 --> 01:32:22.106 Thank you so much, Garth. 01:32:22.646 --> 01:32:27.311 Well, thank you for having me again, and I'm back again next week, sitting in for one more week while Joey's away. 01:32:27.697 --> 01:32:28.477 Yeah, exactly. 01:32:28.778 --> 01:32:33.661 And next week, as we said before, we're gonna do those Reckoner remixes ourselves. 01:32:33.681 --> 01:32:34.761 They're gonna be amazing. 01:32:35.502 --> 01:32:37.803 And who can tell what we'll do with them? 01:32:37.823 --> 01:32:42.326 We're both looking at each other in those sad, tired eyes. 01:32:42.726 --> 01:32:48.049 We can tell if we'll have time to do anything with them at all. 01:32:48.089 --> 01:32:51.191 We might just play them and just make more pirate noises. 01:32:51.211 --> 01:32:52.492 Oh, I love the pirate noises. 01:32:53.813 --> 01:32:56.756 And thank you once again for all your texts and emails. 01:32:57.417 --> 01:32:59.599 We've got Liz Kershaw coming up very shortly. 01:33:00.200 --> 01:33:02.702 And we're going to play Goldfrap right now. 01:33:02.762 --> 01:33:03.824 Is that right, James? 01:33:03.884 --> 01:33:05.666 Yeah, nice look a bit of Goldfrap. 01:33:06.527 --> 01:33:07.588 And this is Strict Machine. 01:33:07.668 --> 01:33:08.569 Have a wonderful week. 01:33:08.769 --> 01:33:09.330 Take care. 01:33:09.370 --> 01:33:09.750 Lots of love. 01:33:09.790 --> 01:33:10.551 Bye!