WEBVTT 00:00.189 --> 00:02.952 and welcome to the Big British Castle. 00:03.153 --> 00:06.696 It's time for Adam and Joe to broadcast on the radio. 00:06.977 --> 00:13.404 There'll be some music and some random talking in between, and then eventually the whole thing will just end. 00:13.804 --> 00:17.529 BBC Six music Adam and Joe. 00:23.835 --> 00:27.417 It's the, uh, that's a funny noise song there by The Verve. 00:27.678 --> 00:28.758 Love is noise, it's called. 00:29.078 --> 00:30.739 This is Adam and Joe on BBC Six Music. 00:30.780 --> 00:31.560 Good morning, listeners. 00:31.780 --> 00:32.501 My name's Joe. 00:32.781 --> 00:33.581 My name's Adam. 00:34.142 --> 00:35.983 Yeah, and we'll be here with you until noon. 00:36.963 --> 00:39.025 And have we got some exciting things coming up? 00:39.345 --> 00:40.526 Adam, was that rhetorical? 00:41.446 --> 00:42.707 Uh, let's have a think. 00:43.488 --> 00:47.170 What do you think, you're implying that I was implying that we don't have any 00:47.350 --> 00:50.113 No, no, no, I was implying it was like a bit of DJ rhetoric. 00:50.253 --> 00:51.875 Have we got some exciting things coming up? 00:51.895 --> 00:52.095 Oh, I see. 00:52.135 --> 00:53.557 No, I don't say things like that. 00:53.577 --> 00:54.818 No, no. 00:54.998 --> 00:55.258 Really? 00:55.519 --> 00:55.779 No. 00:56.119 --> 00:56.980 Well, you should, man. 00:57.000 --> 00:58.562 You know, that's all the big DJs do it. 00:58.922 --> 00:59.803 It's true, isn't it? 01:00.524 --> 01:01.545 You should really try it. 01:01.945 --> 01:03.147 You can win awards that way. 01:03.307 --> 01:04.168 Don't like rhetoric. 01:04.568 --> 01:04.768 Why? 01:04.808 --> 01:06.109 What's your problem with rhetoric now? 01:06.129 --> 01:06.590 I don't know. 01:06.610 --> 01:07.751 It just gives me the willies. 01:08.111 --> 01:08.891 Oh, for goodness. 01:08.911 --> 01:10.032 See, a nice bit of rhetoric. 01:10.112 --> 01:10.493 Come on. 01:11.033 --> 01:12.434 You're not going to be a politician like that. 01:12.734 --> 01:13.195 It's true. 01:13.655 --> 01:13.875 Right. 01:13.915 --> 01:14.156 Come on. 01:14.176 --> 01:17.418 We need Dr. Cornballs to sort out the Third World War situation. 01:17.438 --> 01:18.019 You're right. 01:18.079 --> 01:18.559 You're right. 01:18.619 --> 01:21.521 Since we were on air last week, the Third World War has begun. 01:21.541 --> 01:22.342 It's not enough. 01:22.382 --> 01:23.443 Bigfoot's been shot. 01:24.083 --> 01:25.964 The Chupacubra's been found. 01:25.984 --> 01:28.124 The world's gone crazy in the last week. 01:28.204 --> 01:31.906 The British cycling team dropped out of the Olympics because it was too smoggy. 01:32.106 --> 01:35.027 Tom Daley didn't win his medal things. 01:35.407 --> 01:37.007 And the X Factor's starting up tonight. 01:37.247 --> 01:39.308 And here's the twist on the new series of the X Factor. 01:39.808 --> 01:40.488 What do you think it is? 01:41.089 --> 01:42.209 It's a new lady. 01:42.609 --> 01:42.929 No. 01:42.949 --> 01:43.729 Doing to judges. 01:43.869 --> 01:44.470 I don't know. 01:44.630 --> 01:45.330 I tell you what it is. 01:45.770 --> 01:47.791 It's only the under fives in the over 80s. 01:49.291 --> 01:51.032 Because that's the only one left, isn't there? 01:51.292 --> 01:51.652 Isn't it? 01:52.032 --> 01:52.852 No, here's the twist. 01:53.192 --> 01:55.273 It's on the cover of The Sun this morning. 01:55.593 --> 01:58.754 It says they're going to be meaner than before. 01:58.774 --> 02:03.396 No, that's good because the world's a tough place and it should be reflected in family entertainment shows. 02:03.416 --> 02:04.016 People should be toughened up. 02:04.296 --> 02:07.197 In a couple of years, they'll just shoot them. 02:07.377 --> 02:09.678 They'll shoot them in their shins and stuff to begin with. 02:09.698 --> 02:12.719 Do you know how I would improve X-Factor? 02:12.919 --> 02:14.219 Or no, maybe Britain's got talent. 02:14.259 --> 02:16.580 I was thinking a twist on that for the new series. 02:17.020 --> 02:20.863 It's just to make all professional celebrities compete in it. 02:21.123 --> 02:21.784 That's a good idea. 02:21.824 --> 02:25.787 So every year you'd have every person in the public eye to compete in. 02:25.827 --> 02:26.788 Celebrities got talent. 02:26.848 --> 02:27.468 National service. 02:27.488 --> 02:28.769 Yeah, you'd just do a sort of cull. 02:29.350 --> 02:36.215 And people like Peaches, Geldof, and us, you know, who reckon we've got something, you know, do we? 02:36.416 --> 02:36.636 Yeah. 02:36.676 --> 02:38.037 Michaela's tracking, were you gonna say? 02:38.457 --> 02:39.118 No, no, no. 02:39.158 --> 02:40.419 And they cut you down to size, is what it's like. 02:40.439 --> 02:41.320 They cut you down to size. 02:42.441 --> 02:46.085 If you weren't good enough, you know Piers Morgan who knows about that kind of thing. 02:46.666 --> 02:48.067 He'd have you out of the business. 02:48.107 --> 02:49.609 We wouldn't be so smug then, would we? 02:49.689 --> 02:51.872 We wouldn't, and many like us wouldn't be so smug. 02:51.892 --> 02:53.093 That's a good idea, don't you think? 02:53.233 --> 02:55.216 Well, no, because I really enjoy being smug. 02:56.137 --> 02:56.457 Right. 02:56.577 --> 02:58.800 So you've kind of put the fear of God into me. 02:58.840 --> 03:00.682 Why would you want to do that and ruin a good thing? 03:01.203 --> 03:01.663 Stupid idea. 03:01.723 --> 03:02.583 Let's have some music. 03:03.324 --> 03:03.984 This is The Doors. 03:04.004 --> 03:05.624 I don't know if you've heard of them. 03:05.684 --> 03:06.344 They're The Doors. 03:06.565 --> 03:09.285 It's named after... Like Val Kilmer's the lead singer. 03:09.505 --> 03:10.066 Exactly. 03:10.586 --> 03:11.886 And this is called Love Her Madly. 03:11.906 --> 03:18.348 I don't know if you know, but there's a film to go along with that song starring Val Kilmer, and it's very good. 03:18.728 --> 03:18.988 Wow. 03:19.368 --> 03:20.629 It's one of my favourites. 03:20.729 --> 03:21.189 That's cool. 03:21.209 --> 03:24.670 They don't usually get the real lead singer to play the lead singer in the biopic. 03:24.850 --> 03:25.070 I know. 03:25.090 --> 03:26.230 It worked out very well for me. 03:26.250 --> 03:27.450 Everyone was delighted. 03:27.651 --> 03:28.271 It's Oliver Stone. 03:28.311 --> 03:29.271 He's very controversial. 03:29.591 --> 03:31.453 He is, he's the hot new controversial director. 03:31.473 --> 03:36.737 He's making a hot new film about George W Bush, who's going to be knocked off his perch. 03:37.477 --> 03:37.677 Good. 03:37.698 --> 03:38.498 When that's released. 03:38.578 --> 03:39.379 Just about time. 03:39.779 --> 03:42.561 Or not, depending on your political point of view. 03:43.382 --> 03:47.285 Speaking of which, we were mentioning the encroaching Third World War. 03:47.785 --> 03:51.628 Therefore, if there's any young listeners, don't worry, it's almost certainly not going to happen. 03:51.989 --> 03:55.932 I'm glad to say because of the high efficiency of the diplomatic corps, 03:56.812 --> 03:58.694 They're talking about invading Poland, though. 03:58.894 --> 04:00.075 I know, that's no good, is it? 04:00.315 --> 04:02.056 Everyone knows Poland is the powder keg. 04:02.296 --> 04:03.377 The powder keg. 04:03.697 --> 04:07.820 What I want to know is, it's all, I mean, it's all blown up pretty, you know, that's an unfortunate choice of words. 04:07.840 --> 04:08.280 War of words. 04:08.800 --> 04:09.461 War of rhetoric. 04:09.541 --> 04:15.285 In the last week, so has the big British castle issued any special directives to the DJs? 04:16.285 --> 04:19.607 Have, like, for example, are they allowed to play Russians by sting? 04:20.188 --> 04:23.230 Which actually, if they were able to do, would sort the whole thing out fairly quickly. 04:23.250 --> 04:24.731 It might ameliorate the situation. 04:25.151 --> 04:25.491 Yeah. 04:25.671 --> 04:26.652 Has anyone thought of that? 04:26.952 --> 04:28.373 Russians love their children too. 04:28.953 --> 04:30.975 I think the Americans have forgotten that. 04:31.215 --> 04:31.495 Right. 04:31.935 --> 04:33.897 The Americans think that Russians hate their children. 04:34.177 --> 04:38.240 You know, and people have been kind of taking them, making out of sting for the last decade or something. 04:38.260 --> 04:39.340 About the time he came back. 04:40.121 --> 04:41.101 His powers are needed. 04:41.562 --> 04:47.385 He's in a tantric yoga position, in the fortress of solitude, somewhere in the Arctic. 04:48.366 --> 04:50.369 And a voice is echoing across the tundra. 04:52.192 --> 04:57.841 And he's waking up from his trance. 04:58.623 --> 05:02.669 He's been doing various tantric self-immolatory things. 05:03.390 --> 05:04.070 Not true, do you? 05:05.251 --> 05:06.932 Sounds a bit like David Bowie. 05:07.153 --> 05:08.894 He's getting Omar Hakim on the phone. 05:09.174 --> 05:09.434 Yeah. 05:09.754 --> 05:10.475 On the drums. 05:10.515 --> 05:11.816 Right. 05:12.116 --> 05:14.758 Yeah, and he's going to produce a single that's going to sort this out. 05:14.798 --> 05:15.918 He's getting his lute out. 05:16.079 --> 05:18.400 In fact, all those 80s people should come back together. 05:18.420 --> 05:23.604 You know, Geldof should stop worrying about Trixie Bell and use his powers as well. 05:23.724 --> 05:25.345 Where have all the 80s superheroes gone? 05:25.805 --> 05:27.066 What's Bonio doing about it? 05:27.306 --> 05:27.866 Exactly. 05:27.926 --> 05:31.788 You know, what, is he doing an album or something now when the world actually needs him? 05:31.888 --> 05:32.948 Come on, pop heroes. 05:33.168 --> 05:33.809 But get in there. 05:33.829 --> 05:42.213 He could go out there, talk to President Medvedev and say, I'm going to put on a free concert for all the people fighting, because that's how he talks. 05:42.613 --> 05:46.915 I thought George Bush referred to Vladimir Putin as Pudi. 05:47.815 --> 06:00.681 Do you remember those days and the only days 2001 when he could just pick up the phone and go hey pooty This is getting a little stoopy poochter It's doopie poopy What's happened to that kind of diplomacy? 06:00.941 --> 06:08.765 Well, we've got now is Condoleezza Rice and she's sort of severe and you know, we haven't even mentioned Bigfoot Bigfoot what I'm to Bigfoot. 06:08.805 --> 06:10.486 Let's talk about Bigfoot after in the next link 06:11.447 --> 06:12.988 Now, here's a free choice for you listeners. 06:13.368 --> 06:14.409 This is Wilco. 06:14.429 --> 06:15.790 Do you like a little slice of Wilco? 06:15.890 --> 06:16.750 I would think you would. 06:16.950 --> 06:17.211 Yes. 06:18.872 --> 06:22.254 They fall into the alt-country bracket sometimes. 06:22.654 --> 06:27.338 But this was from an album where they slightly reinvented themselves, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. 06:27.938 --> 06:30.420 And this is a lovely track called Heavy Metal Drummer. 06:34.002 --> 06:34.883 What are you doing? 06:34.903 --> 06:38.666 I'm typing, I'm looking for some facts Adam, that's what this programme is. 06:38.726 --> 06:39.447 Fact checking. 06:39.467 --> 06:40.527 Some proper facts. 06:40.668 --> 06:43.650 There's been too much woolly thinking on this show. 06:43.810 --> 06:44.170 Oh no. 06:44.251 --> 06:53.438 And now that the new Cold War started, everyone's got to tighten up their act and I'm starting by logging onto the internet so that I can have some facts to back up what I say on this programme. 06:53.638 --> 06:59.083 Well that's just... It informed Wooble has been going across all of the airways. 06:59.463 --> 07:01.885 How would you want to ruin the whole formula? 07:02.465 --> 07:07.049 Well, don't worry, because what I'm searching for is Bigfoot press conference. 07:07.089 --> 07:09.871 You're much more worried about Bigfoot than the Cold War. 07:10.331 --> 07:10.971 What happened then? 07:11.272 --> 07:12.372 What happened yesterday? 07:12.432 --> 07:14.594 I'm a big, big, big, big Bigfoot fan. 07:15.014 --> 07:16.335 You know, I'm his number one fan. 07:16.415 --> 07:18.197 I like to follow the Bigfoot stories. 07:18.237 --> 07:21.659 And yesterday I woke up and my next door neighbour announced that Bigfoot had been shot. 07:22.420 --> 07:23.981 By the way, did you hear Bigfoot's been shot? 07:24.001 --> 07:24.861 I was like, what? 07:26.222 --> 07:27.403 Yeah, it's all over the papers. 07:27.924 --> 07:38.293 So I went inside and I searched, you know, Bigfoot shot, images Google, and there's a body of Bigfoot in an icebox somewhere in Ontario or somewhere. 07:38.993 --> 07:42.196 Couple of hunters, professional Bigfoot hunters. 07:42.236 --> 07:46.499 They run a website whose name I won't repeat for reasons that will become clear later. 07:46.900 --> 07:51.724 They run a website and they've been tracking Bigfoot for a very, very long time. 07:51.764 --> 07:54.166 So this is David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. 07:54.386 --> 07:56.667 No, no, they're going after the pedophile priests. 07:56.747 --> 07:57.367 Right, okay. 07:57.428 --> 07:59.348 Of which Billy Connolly is the prime. 07:59.368 --> 08:00.169 They got one of those. 08:00.229 --> 08:01.369 In a fictional universe. 08:01.389 --> 08:02.630 Frozen in a block of ice? 08:03.110 --> 08:04.271 Probably, but no one's interested. 08:04.291 --> 08:07.152 They've got it in the Empire Leicester Square, but no one's going to see it. 08:07.192 --> 08:08.953 So how big is the corpse they got? 08:08.973 --> 08:09.533 Seven foot. 08:09.793 --> 08:10.394 Seven foot. 08:10.514 --> 08:11.514 It's in an ice box. 08:11.634 --> 08:12.475 It's in a bit of a mess. 08:12.535 --> 08:13.875 Its entrails are half out. 08:13.995 --> 08:14.876 Couldn't that just be you? 08:15.896 --> 08:18.317 It could be me, but I, you know, I'm not that hairy. 08:18.517 --> 08:19.218 It's very hairy. 08:19.278 --> 08:19.858 Oh, it's hairy. 08:20.258 --> 08:21.779 And it's got a face like a monkey. 08:23.180 --> 08:26.102 Could be a football player. 08:26.623 --> 08:38.952 And anyway I was very shocked by this picture and not only that but in this article they announced that there was a press conference being held an hour and a half later in somewhere in America where they were going to unveil the body. 08:38.972 --> 08:40.013 Oh wow. 08:40.513 --> 08:43.174 And Fox News had this, all the news agencies had it. 08:43.474 --> 08:48.136 Yesterday afternoon, the third most popular search on Google were the words, Bigfoot press conference. 08:48.876 --> 08:51.197 And I contributed to that several million times over. 08:52.097 --> 08:57.760 Anyway, I do a bit more digging and I find some YouTube videos that have been posted by these men who say they've got the body. 08:58.520 --> 09:01.061 And I watch the videos and they're insane. 09:01.741 --> 09:02.722 They're like mad. 09:03.503 --> 09:05.705 They'll probably hear this and come and try and get me. 09:06.126 --> 09:10.850 But they're insane, sort of separatist, hunter, hillbilly types. 09:10.951 --> 09:12.012 Quite young men. 09:12.492 --> 09:13.333 But they're mad. 09:14.034 --> 09:16.396 And they're sort of baiting other Bigfoot websites. 09:16.416 --> 09:18.578 They've got a rivalry between Bigfoot hunters. 09:18.999 --> 09:23.523 The key to Bigfoot hunters is that it's very difficult to find a Bigfoot. 09:24.484 --> 09:28.446 Yeah, it's really, really hard to find evidence that they exist. 09:28.987 --> 09:36.831 And there's certain people in the world that there are men in there, you know, what you call it like the great men of Bigfoot hunting are all now in their 70s and 80s. 09:37.331 --> 09:41.033 And they have these insane, embittered feuds that have been going on for years. 09:41.533 --> 09:42.974 It's Louis Theroux territory. 09:43.454 --> 09:48.316 He's probably too clever to do something on something as stupid as Bigfoot, but they're all rivals. 09:48.336 --> 09:52.979 And there's a young generation of new hunters who are also embittered, insane rivals. 09:53.319 --> 09:55.180 and they carry out their rivalry on the internet. 09:55.480 --> 09:58.963 And you know how the internet turns everybody into a toddler when it comes to arguing. 09:59.063 --> 09:59.904 Yeah, I've done it myself. 09:59.984 --> 10:00.304 Yeah. 10:00.624 --> 10:04.907 And so these people are literally threatening to the terrible things upon each other's heads. 10:05.087 --> 10:05.407 Right. 10:05.567 --> 10:09.090 And that the war has escalated to such a degree that these people have trumped up a body. 10:09.390 --> 10:10.191 I say trumped up. 10:10.951 --> 10:15.654 The idea that these people have actually shot one would be terrifying and also quite likely. 10:16.014 --> 10:17.836 Well, it's also quite likely. 10:17.856 --> 10:30.304 Yeah, if anyone was going to shoot a Bigfoot, it would be some insane sort of hunter, you know, kind of a Guns and Ammo style, you know, they've got an ex-marine in their video who threatens the camera with a big knife and a dog. 10:30.564 --> 10:30.884 Nice. 10:31.204 --> 10:32.605 This is really quite frightening. 10:32.625 --> 10:34.025 Ooh, the internet. 10:34.885 --> 10:39.467 Do you think maybe there'll be some kind of film about it with Ant and Dec in a few years' time? 10:39.487 --> 10:41.628 A fictionalised film, maybe. 10:41.728 --> 10:43.569 Like the Alien Autopsy one. 10:44.009 --> 10:45.469 The Ray Santilli one, maybe. 10:45.609 --> 10:45.869 Yeah. 10:45.949 --> 10:52.252 But these nutballs have managed to focus the entire, well, obviously not your attention, but most of the world media's attention. 10:53.052 --> 10:54.052 on this announcement. 10:54.112 --> 10:57.093 Does the corpse look realistic though or is it like that alien thing? 10:57.133 --> 10:57.834 No, exactly. 10:57.914 --> 10:59.074 It's probably the same. 10:59.294 --> 11:01.855 It's easier to do a Bigfoot than an alien because it's mostly fur. 11:02.675 --> 11:03.115 Isn't it? 11:03.315 --> 11:04.916 You don't have to get the details so right. 11:06.276 --> 11:14.759 Anyway, to cut a very long story short, the press conference happened and of course one of the big giveaways of a hoax is that they give you something big then they give you nothing. 11:15.359 --> 11:15.760 You know what I mean? 11:15.780 --> 11:17.162 If they really had it, they'd just show it. 11:17.202 --> 11:17.382 Right. 11:17.603 --> 11:19.486 And of course, they gave nothing at the conference. 11:19.506 --> 11:20.327 They didn't show anything. 11:20.467 --> 11:21.549 One more blurred photo. 11:22.030 --> 11:23.913 They just went on about their stupid website. 11:24.173 --> 11:24.994 Right. 11:25.796 --> 11:26.837 So that was yesterday. 11:26.977 --> 11:28.460 All of yesterday afternoon for me. 11:28.480 --> 11:28.740 Wow. 11:28.900 --> 11:30.343 I was taken up by following that. 11:30.623 --> 11:45.773 now i feel like an empty husk it's like the big brother experience uh you know concentrated into one afternoon but what if it turned out to be true i mean gosh gosh then you wouldn't feel like such an empty husk anymore no that would be nice wouldn't it now here's a trail for you listeners hope you enjoy this 11:49.366 --> 11:50.046 You quite finished? 11:50.927 --> 11:52.488 No, you see. 11:52.748 --> 11:57.091 That's an indie, a sort of minimal indie opera there, in a way. 11:57.151 --> 12:00.012 It's like their Bohemian Rhapsody, almost. 12:00.473 --> 12:01.433 It's a very good song. 12:01.493 --> 12:05.135 Not that it's got all the sections and everything, but it's an absolute epic, isn't it? 12:05.175 --> 12:05.876 And it's a smash. 12:05.916 --> 12:07.036 Never outstays its welcome. 12:08.277 --> 12:11.561 I know what I did with The Cure was I never bought any of their albums. 12:11.621 --> 12:13.683 I just went when I was about 17. 12:13.743 --> 12:15.805 I went and bought the Greatest Hits. 12:16.105 --> 12:16.786 Standing on a beach. 12:16.806 --> 12:17.167 Yeah. 12:17.187 --> 12:18.528 It's a great Greatest Hits. 12:18.608 --> 12:24.114 It is, but I never felt, you know, when you just do that with a band, you never feel you engage with them on a real fundamental level. 12:24.354 --> 12:24.795 Yeah. 12:24.815 --> 12:26.236 You always sort of feel like a tourist. 12:26.256 --> 12:26.837 Do you know what I mean? 12:26.977 --> 12:27.397 Of course. 12:28.098 --> 12:31.861 But they were one of those kind of bands, a bit like the Super Furry Animals, actually. 12:32.141 --> 12:34.083 What, you're saying you didn't really need their albums? 12:34.563 --> 12:39.186 No, you could happily visit them like a foreign country and have a very nice time there. 12:39.206 --> 12:40.127 Yes. 12:40.267 --> 12:43.970 And then come back from holiday and, you know, not have to worry about anything too much. 12:43.990 --> 12:45.191 I like the one with the cats. 12:45.771 --> 12:46.472 The love cats. 12:46.492 --> 12:47.653 I like the one in the cupboard. 12:48.013 --> 12:48.533 That's the one. 12:48.553 --> 12:49.274 The one in the cupboard. 12:49.574 --> 12:50.855 I don't like the other ones. 12:51.436 --> 12:53.297 That was Tim Pope that directed that one, wasn't it? 12:53.337 --> 12:53.997 I think. 12:54.078 --> 12:54.318 No. 12:54.678 --> 12:56.840 I might be talking to him at Bug in a month or so. 12:57.000 --> 12:57.260 Hmm. 12:57.600 --> 12:58.441 Bad news for him. 13:00.102 --> 13:01.563 What kind of thing is that to say? 13:01.623 --> 13:03.164 Just trying to burst your balloon. 13:03.745 --> 13:05.586 That's my job, burst your balloon. 13:05.646 --> 13:07.027 I'm your official balloon buster. 13:07.468 --> 13:09.169 I stand beside you with a pin. 13:09.709 --> 13:12.171 Every time you get excited about anything, I just pop it. 13:12.311 --> 13:12.632 No. 13:12.872 --> 13:14.113 Boom. 13:16.855 --> 13:18.156 Bad news for him. 13:19.426 --> 13:20.086 Imagine. 13:21.267 --> 13:22.848 My balloon burster. 13:23.588 --> 13:24.889 Jesus of the Christ. 13:26.330 --> 13:30.332 Now, listeners, it's time for the news here on BBC Six Music. 13:31.933 --> 13:36.276 That was the Kings of Leon there with our crawl. 13:36.336 --> 13:37.656 That's their new single. 13:38.037 --> 13:40.078 I don't care about them since they shaved their beards off. 13:40.478 --> 13:40.758 Really? 13:41.058 --> 13:42.579 Yeah, not interested in them anymore. 13:44.451 --> 13:44.751 Has he? 13:44.931 --> 13:45.731 I'm interested again. 13:45.932 --> 13:46.652 He's got a beer bag. 13:46.832 --> 13:47.492 I'm back in there. 13:47.732 --> 13:49.993 Hey, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 13:50.473 --> 13:51.793 It's a Saturday morning. 13:51.813 --> 13:56.335 A little bit grey here in London town, but it could be worse. 13:56.355 --> 13:57.275 It could be worse. 13:57.335 --> 13:59.296 I'm not giving up hope entirely. 14:00.196 --> 14:03.737 And we were just talking there during the song about all the Olympiads. 14:04.298 --> 14:06.558 And what's the name of our lady who's done some winning? 14:08.459 --> 14:09.019 Fishsticks. 14:09.339 --> 14:10.180 Rebecca Fishsticks. 14:11.460 --> 14:12.320 Rebecca Adlington. 14:12.360 --> 14:12.880 Well done. 14:13.241 --> 14:15.461 Rebecca, from all of us here at the Big British Castle. 14:15.481 --> 14:15.741 Well done. 14:15.761 --> 14:16.641 You've done us proud. 14:16.681 --> 14:19.362 You can swim across the moat and come and have some biscuits. 14:19.382 --> 14:21.363 You can come to the show whenever you like. 14:23.903 --> 14:25.404 We'll stop refuting you, entry. 14:25.744 --> 14:27.304 You may now come into the show. 14:27.604 --> 14:28.365 You may now come in. 14:28.405 --> 14:28.925 Do not speak. 14:29.665 --> 14:31.046 But you may come into the room. 14:31.226 --> 14:33.148 You may bring your bags in, too. 14:33.588 --> 14:36.290 If you stink of chlorine, you will be out on your arse. 14:37.571 --> 14:39.073 We were talking about Michael Phelps, though. 14:39.113 --> 14:40.974 He's the American fishman. 14:42.055 --> 14:44.997 And do you know much about Phelps? 14:45.277 --> 14:45.418 No. 14:46.178 --> 14:51.682 He is a part fish, and he is an extraordinary looking guy. 14:52.503 --> 14:54.384 And he's just been winning everything, right? 14:54.424 --> 14:55.144 Yeah, he's winning everything. 14:55.164 --> 15:01.448 He's won, like, seven... And he's developed his upper body to such an extent that he's, like, missed... Which Mr. Man was the triangle? 15:02.128 --> 15:03.048 With the little hat on? 15:04.589 --> 15:05.110 I can't remember. 15:05.150 --> 15:07.711 There was a Miss Mr. Problems or something? 15:07.731 --> 15:08.611 Was there one of those? 15:09.132 --> 15:11.953 He was a little... He's basically completely triangular. 15:12.613 --> 15:16.755 His feet have tapered and almost joined like a fish's tail. 15:16.816 --> 15:17.396 Mr. Onwy. 15:17.936 --> 15:18.516 Right, what? 15:18.916 --> 15:19.736 Was that the Mr. Man? 15:19.776 --> 15:20.217 Possibly. 15:21.197 --> 15:24.157 And his shoulders have developed to such a huge extent. 15:24.498 --> 15:28.138 His shoulder blades, do you call it? 15:28.158 --> 15:28.719 Yeah. 15:29.299 --> 15:31.519 Almost developed into a fin. 15:31.579 --> 15:32.179 Shark fins. 15:32.259 --> 15:32.639 That's right. 15:32.659 --> 15:38.661 And Jude was pointing out, producer Jude was pointing out that his lats are unusually well-loved fishmen though. 15:39.541 --> 15:40.242 How are your lats? 15:40.282 --> 15:41.543 What kind of lats are you looking at? 15:41.643 --> 15:57.233 They're amazingly well-developed My lats are like as if I've got some loaves of white bread and put them on to my back Yeah, that's what my lats are like But I envy Phelps because he I mean he looks lovely. 15:57.253 --> 15:57.934 He looks great. 15:58.374 --> 15:59.034 Did you know though? 15:59.114 --> 16:06.039 I found out about his diet Bryce and he what would you think that the guy like that you would think that a guy like that would eat just sort of 16:09.721 --> 16:31.527 I think his his his teeth have developed into just you know hundreds of Strands mm-hmm, and he just he while he swims fishing any sort of back tip filtering any kind of bacteria He can out of public swimming pools, so you're just going with the idea that he's like a fish yeah I Mean you've ruined it now because you've pulled out the clever. 16:31.827 --> 16:32.427 I thought you know I 16:34.508 --> 16:35.950 I thought I'd pop your little balloon. 16:36.791 --> 16:44.058 But no, he actually eats stuff like he has about three fried egg sandwiches for breakfast and stuff like this. 16:44.299 --> 16:45.980 How can you chew when you haven't got any teeth? 16:49.344 --> 16:55.431 He has them mashed up for him by his mother, who is a blue whale. 16:57.911 --> 17:17.866 Wow, but no he does he eats like huge amounts of stuff and 10 steaks for us that really true leavens is that kind of stuff though he eats a huge amount And he'll just eat right the way through the day It's all very well being muscly, but as soon as you hit 40 it turns to fat Yeah, you want to stick with someone like me right? 17:18.586 --> 17:21.869 You know skinny gone a bit podgy as he's got older 17:22.569 --> 17:22.989 Perfect. 17:23.249 --> 17:23.549 Yeah. 17:24.210 --> 17:26.611 But any time you wanted to, you could start. 17:27.071 --> 17:29.072 All I'd have to do is a tiny bit of exercise. 17:29.092 --> 17:29.932 Two weeks of exercise? 17:29.972 --> 17:30.713 Ping into shape. 17:30.773 --> 17:32.533 You'd be winning gold all over the shop. 17:32.553 --> 17:33.114 That's true. 17:33.414 --> 17:33.674 Yeah. 17:33.954 --> 17:39.497 Now, listen, folks, in the next hour, we are going to be announcing the winner of our Video Wars competition. 17:39.957 --> 17:40.517 Approximately 10.30. 17:40.637 --> 17:43.498 Excuse me for interrupting, but I thought I'd tell them the time. 17:43.518 --> 17:45.439 About 10.30 we'll be announcing the winner. 17:45.579 --> 17:45.779 Right. 17:45.839 --> 17:49.441 Just before the news at 10.30, we will be telling you who has won the competition. 17:50.161 --> 17:56.487 We'll also be naming a few runners up and sort of announcing what's going to happen to all these people. 17:56.887 --> 17:58.308 Some of them will be executed. 17:59.509 --> 18:01.011 Some of them will be allowed to live. 18:01.471 --> 18:03.633 It's going to be amazing and life-changing for them. 18:03.713 --> 18:09.498 And we'll also be speaking to Garth, our friend, who helped us judge the Video Wars competition, Garth Jennings. 18:09.798 --> 18:11.860 Mr. Rush was the triangular Mr. Man. 18:13.021 --> 18:13.801 Mr. Rush? 18:13.902 --> 18:14.302 Yes. 18:14.462 --> 18:15.262 Suitable, really. 18:15.342 --> 18:16.243 Very streamlined. 18:16.283 --> 18:17.003 Be good for swimming. 18:17.543 --> 18:17.784 What? 18:17.804 --> 18:18.164 Mr. Rush? 18:18.404 --> 18:19.665 I've never heard of Mr. Rush. 18:19.705 --> 18:20.205 What did he do? 18:20.225 --> 18:20.765 He just ran around. 18:20.785 --> 18:21.566 Has someone texted that in? 18:21.646 --> 18:23.086 Or have you just looked at it on the internet? 18:23.127 --> 18:23.947 You have, have you, Mr. Rush? 18:23.967 --> 18:24.427 Mr. Rush? 18:24.527 --> 18:29.070 That must have been the second or third series when he got a bit hard up for names. 18:29.210 --> 18:35.373 I'm surprised that he wasn't exploited on a t-shirt during the sort of whole E thing. 18:35.673 --> 18:35.953 Right. 18:36.194 --> 18:36.854 Mr. Head Rush. 18:37.134 --> 18:38.296 Yeah, or something like that. 18:38.516 --> 18:40.479 It's just an idea for an idiot there. 18:41.340 --> 18:44.865 Now, here's the divine comedy, ladies and gentlemen, with Bad Ambassador. 18:48.670 --> 19:07.690 the divine comedy with bad ambassador this is adam and joe on bbc6 music on a saturday morning we hope you are feeling good this morning i thought you didn't say things like that i just began that's sort of rhetorical is it no not really i mean really well it's it's it's a sort of empty hope though isn't it you don't really care 19:09.348 --> 19:32.146 I did, I pictured a listener then, in bed, all cuddled up under a nice duvet with maybe a cup of coffee, a sort of hermaphrodite listener, half man, half woman, of indeterminate age, covering basically all the bases, indeterminate racial background, sort of a bit of everything. 19:32.546 --> 19:33.567 Very open-minded person. 19:33.587 --> 19:36.189 Very open-minded, but at the same time very closed-minded. 19:37.430 --> 19:40.634 That's who I pictured very creative and you were hoping that they were all right. 19:40.894 --> 19:41.074 Yeah. 19:41.435 --> 19:42.916 Oh, well, that's okay Listen, I take it back. 19:42.956 --> 19:56.612 I know you can't Thanks So listen, it's free play time now and this is something that's a bit of an internet phenomenon a bit like that Yes, this is a guy called dove man. 19:56.632 --> 19:57.673 Do you know about dove man? 19:57.913 --> 19:58.133 No 19:59.654 --> 20:00.055 Why not? 20:00.275 --> 20:00.955 I just don't. 20:00.995 --> 20:02.336 I haven't been on the internet for a while. 20:02.396 --> 20:03.636 He has a friend, this man. 20:03.696 --> 20:04.577 He's an American man. 20:04.637 --> 20:05.918 His real name's Thomas Bartlett. 20:05.958 --> 20:08.439 He's got a friend, okay, and this is where it gets a bit serious. 20:08.939 --> 20:11.060 His friend had an older stepsister. 20:12.000 --> 20:18.424 It's already, you know, various distances removed now from, so it's probably entering the arena of untruth. 20:18.884 --> 20:22.166 But he had an older stepsister who sadly died. 20:23.486 --> 20:51.456 and he was rummaging through her stuff and this is the story behind this anyway he found a cassette of the soundtrack to Footloose and he'd never seen the film Footloose he didn't really know about it he was a young chap but he became sort of obsessed with it and started listening to it over and over again and he was so moved by it and trying to imagine his elder stepsister's youth and the fact that she was into Footloose when he wasn't even alive yet that he became obsessed with the soundtrack so he got his friend 20:52.156 --> 20:59.298 Thomas Bartlett, aka Doveman, to cover basically the whole album, which is quite a cool idea. 20:59.338 --> 21:05.140 He covers every single track on the Footloose album, which is anyway a compendium of lots of different artists. 21:05.260 --> 21:06.841 That's quite a good idea, don't you think? 21:06.861 --> 21:07.381 That is a good idea. 21:07.401 --> 21:11.382 It's like a band doing a cover of Now That's What I Call Music 4 or something. 21:11.482 --> 21:15.023 Every single, you know, the Nick Kershaw, the ABC, just doing everything. 21:15.043 --> 21:16.444 So this guy's done this with Footloose. 21:16.464 --> 21:16.944 Do you remember? 21:17.604 --> 21:18.886 Any of the tracks on Footloose? 21:18.906 --> 21:20.508 Let's hear it for the boy! 21:20.868 --> 21:22.570 And of course there was Footloose! 21:23.411 --> 21:24.612 Those are the two most famous ones. 21:24.672 --> 21:26.094 I can't really remember any others either. 21:26.114 --> 21:26.715 Jude's got one. 21:28.036 --> 21:29.257 Was that on Footloose? 21:29.598 --> 21:30.018 Really? 21:30.118 --> 21:32.301 That is an absolutely awful song. 21:32.481 --> 21:32.881 I like Shalimar. 21:32.902 --> 21:33.903 They don't mean dancing, do they? 21:39.509 --> 21:43.152 So anyway, here is his cover of the track Footloose. 21:43.192 --> 21:46.856 Now, because it's a sort of memorial, it's very melancholy. 21:47.076 --> 21:47.396 Right. 21:47.796 --> 21:49.838 But most covers of famous songs are, aren't they? 21:49.858 --> 21:51.580 I mean, this is something bands do quite a lot, isn't it? 21:51.640 --> 21:55.324 Pick a kind of cheesy 80s song and do a super serious cover of it? 21:55.664 --> 21:55.844 Yes. 21:55.864 --> 21:57.065 Hasn't that happened in the past? 21:57.185 --> 21:59.488 Yeah, you go the opposite way with it, didn't you? 21:59.648 --> 22:01.770 And well, it happens the other way around as well. 22:01.790 --> 22:02.370 You can take a... 22:03.271 --> 22:06.192 Take a kind of sad song and make it poppier. 22:06.412 --> 22:08.393 Right, like Limp Biscuit did with Faith? 22:08.413 --> 22:09.093 Uh-huh. 22:09.433 --> 22:10.754 Right, so that's the one I can think of. 22:10.794 --> 22:11.694 Which way round was that? 22:11.854 --> 22:12.854 Did they do it with Faith? 22:12.914 --> 22:13.434 Didn't they? 22:13.474 --> 22:14.355 Didn't Fred Durst? 22:14.395 --> 22:15.495 He's Limp Biscuit, isn't he? 22:15.735 --> 22:16.976 Well, you gotta have Faith! 22:16.996 --> 22:18.216 Yeah, they had a... Yeah. 22:18.316 --> 22:18.856 I didn't know that. 22:18.876 --> 22:19.757 Isn't that them, I think it is. 22:19.837 --> 22:20.397 Anyway, listen. 22:20.697 --> 22:23.938 Here's Dove Man with his very moving cover of Footloose. 22:29.577 --> 22:32.426 We're just going to fade out of this. 22:32.686 --> 22:34.111 You know, you get the general picture. 22:34.171 --> 22:35.836 You get the general picture about 30 seconds. 22:36.812 --> 22:39.234 Adam started laughing when he went into the chorus. 22:40.115 --> 22:47.720 You were saying that really the stupidity of the basic lyrics overpowers any kind of sentiment there. 22:47.740 --> 22:58.549 Well, the fact that it's so well known, that chorus, and it's such a goofy, joyful chorus, it sort of overwhelms any attempt to make it melancholy, really. 22:58.909 --> 23:00.470 Because all you can hear is logins. 23:01.171 --> 23:01.631 Yelping. 23:01.651 --> 23:01.711 Log. 23:03.333 --> 23:08.338 A good idea though, we were trying to think whether we could spin an idea for Song Wars out of that. 23:08.359 --> 23:08.439 Yeah. 23:09.280 --> 23:10.601 But we don't really want to do covers. 23:11.042 --> 23:13.565 The problem with covers is you can't put them on a best-selling album. 23:13.705 --> 23:13.905 No. 23:15.487 --> 23:17.429 You know, and that's all we care about. 23:17.950 --> 23:18.210 What now? 23:19.211 --> 23:20.992 Uh, it's time for a trail, uh, Joe. 23:21.272 --> 23:23.193 Now, can you guess, just have a guess what this is? 23:23.253 --> 23:33.118 Um, oh, gaw, is it a trail from Maestro, the BBC's new programme, the celebrity's, uh, trying to conduct Goldie Does It and swears and aww. 23:33.499 --> 23:35.259 I watched that this week, we should talk about that later on. 23:35.460 --> 23:37.681 I've no idea what this is for, let's find out. 23:42.134 --> 23:45.756 That was a furniture with brilliant mind. 23:45.916 --> 23:48.177 That was a session track there they were doing. 23:48.337 --> 23:51.078 Recorded for Janice Long on Radio 1 on the 20th of February 1985. 23:52.419 --> 23:54.240 I was just about to say that. 23:54.320 --> 23:54.580 Yeah. 23:54.600 --> 23:56.901 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 23:57.061 --> 24:05.325 It's coming up to 10 o'clock on Saturday morning and we have our old friend Garth Jennings on the line right now. 24:05.465 --> 24:06.005 Good morning. 24:06.306 --> 24:07.446 Hey Garth, how are you doing man? 24:07.506 --> 24:08.227 I'm very well. 24:08.267 --> 24:09.747 It's very nice up here at the moment. 24:10.027 --> 24:11.088 Are you whereabouts are you? 24:11.448 --> 24:12.348 I am in your house. 24:13.129 --> 24:14.089 In my house? 24:14.189 --> 24:17.370 I'm in your house because you're moving house next week and I'm in it already. 24:17.690 --> 24:25.353 Yes, well don't say where it is, otherwise I will have all kinds of freaks and crazies camping on my lawn. 24:25.493 --> 24:27.014 Well, to be honest, I don't think they'd find it. 24:27.034 --> 24:28.054 It's very difficult to find. 24:28.114 --> 24:30.035 It's the kind of thing I'm moving to get away from. 24:30.055 --> 24:31.916 All the media attention. 24:32.397 --> 24:36.959 But listeners should be reminded that Garth was the third judge in our Video Wars competition. 24:36.979 --> 24:40.562 This is a competition we've been running for the last, what, couple of months or something? 24:40.702 --> 24:40.962 Yeah. 24:41.222 --> 24:49.727 Even though it closed a while ago to make a video for one of two Song Wars songs, Early Efforts, Jane's Brain, and Meatballs. 24:50.307 --> 24:55.751 We invited people to make videos for them and upload them to the BBC site, and we had an extraordinary response. 24:56.792 --> 24:58.333 Over a hundred entries. 24:58.353 --> 25:00.175 143 we got. 25:00.195 --> 25:00.175 143. 25:00.295 --> 25:00.836 Beautifully. 25:01.036 --> 25:02.678 Every single one of them beautifully honed. 25:02.818 --> 25:04.359 There was two that weren't beautifully honed. 25:04.539 --> 25:08.343 And we were humbled by the volume and standard of entries. 25:08.403 --> 25:09.464 Is that not true, Garth James? 25:09.485 --> 25:13.148 Well, I was jealous because we'd had a film competition for Son of Rambo. 25:13.549 --> 25:19.575 Although we did find one terrific winner, which we put on our DVD, there were nowhere near the standard of the rest of your lot. 25:19.898 --> 25:22.299 Garth directed Son of Rambo, we should also tell listeners. 25:22.339 --> 25:27.042 I'm keeping listeners, you know, happy with the bottom line factual information here. 25:27.242 --> 25:28.203 It's working in a treat. 25:28.343 --> 25:28.843 Yeah, just in case. 25:28.863 --> 25:30.344 But I really didn't think you all were amazing. 25:30.384 --> 25:31.805 I was in hysterics judging it. 25:32.105 --> 25:34.566 You know what it made me think, the standard of entries. 25:34.626 --> 25:40.830 It made me think that there aren't any shows on the BBC generally that invite people to be creative anymore. 25:41.070 --> 25:41.350 Are there? 25:41.610 --> 25:44.474 That's what you mean, like a sort of... Like, well, there used to be. 25:44.514 --> 25:45.816 Was Vision on on the BBC? 25:45.996 --> 25:47.218 Blue Peter on the BBC? 25:47.238 --> 25:48.039 These are all kid shows. 25:48.079 --> 25:48.760 Screen tests. 25:48.860 --> 25:54.228 On the top of my head, I can think of three children's shows, certainly, that used to invite people to send stuff in. 25:54.548 --> 25:57.873 They used to have, like, Young Inventor of the Year and stuff, didn't they? 25:57.893 --> 25:58.273 Oh, yeah! 25:58.293 --> 25:58.754 For God's sake. 25:58.994 --> 26:00.255 I guess they still have stuff like that. 26:00.535 --> 26:06.900 But if we were like a big powerful show, I would have kind of a regular thing where people could send stuff in. 26:07.180 --> 26:09.702 And then I thought we could give out badges like Blue Peter used to. 26:09.722 --> 26:11.123 Gold, silver and bronze. 26:11.584 --> 26:12.645 Adam and Joe badges. 26:13.285 --> 26:16.768 And you'd only get the gold one if you saved a life. 26:16.888 --> 26:18.149 Do you remember a like on Blue Peter? 26:18.189 --> 26:18.689 They did that? 26:18.829 --> 26:19.570 Well, absolutely. 26:19.990 --> 26:21.932 Someone has to be near death for you to get the gold. 26:21.952 --> 26:22.152 Yeah. 26:22.352 --> 26:32.855 But everybody who entered this Video Wars competition in this imaginary world would win some kind of a badge and that would get them entry into exhibitions at sort of trendy galleries around the country. 26:32.955 --> 26:36.476 I don't think you could belittle yourself though, I think you could actually do that right now. 26:36.496 --> 26:36.976 Do you think? 26:37.136 --> 26:38.197 Yeah, you've got the power. 26:38.317 --> 26:39.377 Now the problem is we can't be poor. 26:42.141 --> 26:44.842 It's not so much a question of not being able, you know, not being bothered. 26:44.862 --> 26:47.082 It's just there's so many rules at the castle. 26:47.222 --> 26:48.262 I know we wouldn't be allowed. 26:48.302 --> 26:50.843 You wouldn't be allowed to send people something with a pin. 26:51.363 --> 26:53.383 You know, that would be murderous. 26:54.324 --> 26:58.924 But Garth, tell us about your general feelings about the, you know, the entries. 26:58.944 --> 27:01.965 We can't be too specific because we don't want to give away who's won yet. 27:02.165 --> 27:04.705 It's a shame because I've got loads of notes about each one. 27:04.725 --> 27:08.586 I mean loads of them because I wrote down things about all my favourites. 27:09.232 --> 27:13.353 But they were very funny, that was the main thing, you had some really funny ones. 27:13.393 --> 27:19.155 I also think there's been, you've clearly opened the floodgates with the whole Adam and Jo approach to filmmaking. 27:19.795 --> 27:26.097 There were lots of, I could see lots of people picking up from where you've left off with the TV show. 27:27.077 --> 27:35.260 But I just think, what's nice in heartening is that people seem to be having a good time and making their own little, beautiful little films. 27:35.874 --> 27:36.475 Yeah, exactly. 27:36.495 --> 27:39.077 They were much less sort of weird than I thought. 27:39.097 --> 27:44.101 Like, I just thought there would be a lot of weird, sinister things being made, you know what I mean? 27:44.181 --> 27:47.504 Well, yeah, because when we were at art school, people just thought it was enough to film something. 27:47.784 --> 27:48.705 Yeah. 27:48.825 --> 27:49.366 I filmed it. 27:49.686 --> 27:50.847 That must mean it's half good. 27:51.347 --> 27:53.008 And I was expecting a lot more of that. 27:53.289 --> 27:54.289 It's true, isn't it? 27:54.329 --> 28:09.140 The general technical level's really, really high, and the level of imagination and stuff, and you know, TV bosses, particularly bosses of particular channels, should be quaking in their boots, because there's a massive public out there that can do it almost better than Lily Allen can. 28:10.001 --> 28:11.362 Do you know what I mean? 28:11.402 --> 28:14.464 It's almost as if there's more talent off the screen than there is on. 28:14.484 --> 28:15.665 It sounds unbelievable. 28:15.865 --> 28:17.226 It sounds incredible, doesn't it? 28:18.487 --> 28:23.190 So listen, Garth, around about 10.30, we are going to be announcing the winner. 28:23.690 --> 28:26.672 And maybe we'll give you a call then as well. 28:27.833 --> 28:28.754 And you can join us. 28:28.774 --> 28:29.754 Because you don't know who's one. 28:29.794 --> 28:31.696 I know you do know who's one because he was one of the judges. 28:31.716 --> 28:33.036 He was one of the judges, wasn't he? 28:33.056 --> 28:34.878 Now it's all coming back to me. 28:34.898 --> 28:37.860 Messi's been drinking very heavily since... Are you OK there, Adam? 28:40.441 --> 28:41.381 I haven't slept in 10. 28:41.642 --> 28:44.982 Moving house is one of the most stressful experiences of anyone's life. 28:45.022 --> 28:45.683 Yeah, that's right. 28:46.243 --> 28:46.843 All right, men. 28:46.943 --> 28:48.043 We'll speak to you in a bit, Garth. 28:48.183 --> 28:48.503 Okay. 28:48.523 --> 28:49.344 Speak to you later, Garth. 28:49.444 --> 28:49.784 Bye. 28:49.844 --> 28:50.304 Bye-bye. 28:51.184 --> 28:53.665 Now, are we gonna play the top of our sweeper here? 28:53.705 --> 28:55.325 Dude, are we just gonna miss the top of our sweeper? 28:55.345 --> 28:56.546 It's hardly the top of ours. 28:56.586 --> 28:57.666 It's four minutes past. 28:57.686 --> 29:00.007 You know, because that would be misleading. 29:00.267 --> 29:03.948 If people heard the sweeper, they'd go, oh, sweeper, darling, did I just have this top of our sweeper? 29:04.788 --> 29:06.510 And she'd say, it's five past! 29:06.630 --> 29:08.492 What kind of top of our sweeper is that? 29:08.512 --> 29:10.234 What kind of radio show are you listening to? 29:10.314 --> 29:11.735 It's moronic and amortish. 29:12.076 --> 29:12.757 Amortish? 29:13.217 --> 29:14.739 It's moronic and amortish. 29:15.439 --> 29:17.141 Listen to Jonathan Ross instead. 29:17.161 --> 29:18.623 Alright darling, sorry. 29:19.103 --> 29:20.184 Is how the conversation would go. 29:20.224 --> 29:21.766 I can't even say amateurish. 29:22.246 --> 29:23.507 What kind of a program is this? 29:23.547 --> 29:27.711 Let's go st- Oh no, I had a joke about this song. 29:27.731 --> 29:31.193 We're gonna play The Passenger by Iggy Pop, and I can't remember. 29:31.494 --> 29:33.315 Oh yeah, it wasn't much of a joke. 29:33.615 --> 29:37.158 The joke was just to sing, I am Kombassinger. 29:37.198 --> 29:38.039 Thank God you're not gonna do it. 29:38.079 --> 29:39.360 And I ride, and I ride. 29:39.520 --> 29:40.781 Anyway, here's the song. 29:44.341 --> 29:47.162 I see a packet of giant fries. 29:47.182 --> 29:51.042 I see a little dog whose name is Mike. 29:51.642 --> 29:55.043 I see a man with a little hat on. 29:55.063 --> 29:57.523 That's some extra lines he could have used. 29:57.843 --> 29:58.184 Thanks. 29:58.484 --> 30:01.044 I see a girl with a black coat. 30:02.304 --> 30:03.925 That's not very good, is it? 30:04.185 --> 30:06.125 That was Iggy Pop with The Passenger. 30:06.145 --> 30:11.646 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music and it's time for this jingle. 30:17.064 --> 30:26.569 It's a little bit of a topical textination today. 30:26.729 --> 30:28.230 Actually, it's not topical, really. 30:28.250 --> 30:30.371 It is in the broader sense, I suppose, of the word. 30:30.931 --> 30:39.856 But around this time of year, people are coming back from their holidays, their little summer jaunts, you know, and it's always a difficult time. 30:40.016 --> 30:43.698 Some people enjoy coming back home, you know, maybe two weeks. 30:44.358 --> 30:49.262 You've just reached that stage where you're getting a little bit bored of the holiday and you're ready to get back to the routine. 30:49.482 --> 30:51.664 Usually if you go for one week, that doesn't happen. 30:51.804 --> 30:52.785 One week isn't long enough. 30:53.265 --> 30:55.768 But for some reason, two weeks is a tiny bit too long. 30:56.288 --> 30:56.948 Do you ever get that? 30:57.449 --> 30:59.891 Yeah, two weeks is just right if you ask me. 31:00.131 --> 31:00.371 Right. 31:01.032 --> 31:02.853 So you come back... Three weeks is spot on. 31:03.174 --> 31:03.694 Yeah. 31:04.134 --> 31:05.215 Only thing better than three weeks? 31:05.496 --> 31:05.796 A month. 31:06.216 --> 31:06.737 Four weeks. 31:06.797 --> 31:07.417 Four months. 31:07.757 --> 31:08.218 Four months. 31:08.238 --> 31:08.918 A year off. 31:09.279 --> 31:11.000 After a year, you start getting a little bit itchy. 31:11.320 --> 31:12.702 I get itchy for more holiday. 31:13.382 --> 31:14.083 After a year. 31:15.424 --> 31:16.565 You can't get enough holiday. 31:17.006 --> 31:22.952 Sometimes it's a little bit more exhausting though if you're out there with the family and you've got children and all that kind of stuff. 31:22.972 --> 31:33.403 Sometimes you slightly yearn for the routine to be re-established because the holiday can end up being more exhausting than just your regular routine. 31:33.543 --> 31:34.324 No, I can imagine. 31:35.664 --> 31:41.166 So anyway, for text donation today, we were going to ask you just about some of the things. 31:41.466 --> 31:43.006 It's an opportunity for you to offload. 31:43.346 --> 31:49.368 Some of the things that are depressing about coming back from holiday, and some of the things that you really enjoy about coming back. 31:49.408 --> 31:54.829 Now, this is one of these kind of subjects that probably most DJs would do on holiday. 31:55.189 --> 31:56.850 It's very radio one, but that's no bad thing. 31:56.990 --> 32:02.433 No, because the whole thing is, it's not about the subject, it's about the responses, right? 32:02.633 --> 32:05.915 That's what makes Text the Nation the number one feature. 32:06.175 --> 32:07.716 That's true in the country. 32:07.736 --> 32:08.396 In the country. 32:08.476 --> 32:10.197 As voted by Grazia. 32:10.217 --> 32:11.418 Grazia. 32:11.478 --> 32:12.078 Bella. 32:12.958 --> 32:14.579 Magazine, is that a magazine called Bella? 32:14.699 --> 32:20.762 Tittles, Totalls, Spritzer, and Nips magazine have all voted for that. 32:20.782 --> 32:21.623 Actually, none of that's true. 32:23.003 --> 32:25.064 Wow, you just reeled off the top five women's magazines. 32:25.244 --> 32:27.325 Tittle, subtles, spritzer and nips. 32:27.485 --> 32:27.685 Yeah. 32:27.865 --> 32:28.846 And what was the number five? 32:29.486 --> 32:30.066 I don't know. 32:31.747 --> 32:32.287 Grazie. 32:32.887 --> 32:33.567 Grazie. 32:34.508 --> 32:40.030 Anyway, so yes, it's a chance for you to enthuse about the joys of returning from holiday. 32:40.050 --> 32:41.931 What are the good things about getting back from holiday? 32:42.251 --> 32:43.331 And also some of the bad things. 32:43.371 --> 32:44.812 You know, I tend to focus on 32:45.752 --> 32:47.054 the miserable aspects of things. 32:47.114 --> 32:48.235 It's something I enjoy. 32:48.695 --> 32:51.739 And the obvious ones, when you get back from holiday, right? 32:52.179 --> 32:53.801 Like, have you been away very recently? 32:53.821 --> 32:55.042 You've been to LA recently, haven't you? 32:55.062 --> 32:55.883 Yes, but for work. 32:56.043 --> 32:56.684 Yeah, for work. 32:56.704 --> 32:57.445 So what's it like? 32:57.545 --> 33:00.728 Is it a different feeling getting back from work abroad? 33:00.988 --> 33:02.971 I've never done that before. 33:03.291 --> 33:05.113 How does it compare to being on holiday? 33:05.733 --> 33:10.558 Oh, it's a different feeling because coming back is like you've finished work. 33:10.738 --> 33:11.639 Yeah, in a way. 33:12.120 --> 33:15.343 So it's nice to get home and get back into your old routines. 33:15.543 --> 33:15.803 Yes. 33:16.324 --> 33:18.105 Come up on the sofa with the teleon. 33:18.606 --> 33:22.890 Often I come back with a bag full of DVDs of exciting movies. 33:23.070 --> 33:24.071 Maybe watch one of those. 33:24.692 --> 33:25.012 You know? 33:25.553 --> 33:26.694 So it's nice, it's enjoyable. 33:26.714 --> 33:27.455 And the jet lag. 33:27.535 --> 33:28.716 I tell you, I like jet lag. 33:29.256 --> 33:29.857 It's glamorous. 33:30.458 --> 33:30.798 Yeah. 33:31.339 --> 33:37.267 I like waking up in the small hours and doing things, you know, being wide awake at four in the morning. 33:37.387 --> 33:37.587 Yeah. 33:37.727 --> 33:41.492 It's exciting having an excuse to go to sleep at tea time. 33:42.495 --> 33:43.015 It's all good. 33:43.115 --> 33:44.095 Doesn't it make you feel mad? 33:44.175 --> 33:45.516 Jet lag always used to make me feel safe. 33:45.536 --> 33:45.916 No, I like it. 33:45.936 --> 33:47.676 Well, I don't really enjoy it. 33:48.097 --> 34:01.500 What about things like, more mundane things like the fact that... I don't know if this is true of all airports now, but when we got back recently from a little spell in France, you had to pay a pound for the trolleys now? 34:01.520 --> 34:01.560 No. 34:01.840 --> 34:02.820 What airport was that? 34:02.981 --> 34:04.021 Luton Airport. 34:04.841 --> 34:06.162 Who are you? 34:06.602 --> 34:10.363 What the hell about basket is going on with the world now? 34:10.383 --> 34:11.043 Did you get it back? 34:11.083 --> 34:11.884 Was it a deposit? 34:12.044 --> 34:12.364 No. 34:12.764 --> 34:13.164 Really? 34:13.324 --> 34:14.585 You leave it in there. 34:14.605 --> 34:21.087 I tell you the most shocking thing about little airports, you know, and we're talking not Heathrow or Gatwick, we're talking Stansted or Luton or those ones. 34:22.168 --> 34:27.710 When you get the cheap flights from the cheap airlines, it's the room they make you stand in before you board. 34:28.310 --> 34:30.131 An entirely featureless room 34:31.191 --> 34:39.117 with no phone method of communication at all, you're locked in there, and you're just put in a kind of thing like you're waiting for a rollercoaster. 34:39.397 --> 34:39.637 Right. 34:39.777 --> 34:47.983 You know, wound round in a kind of zigzag, and a big... You know, it's really frightening, and it feels like you're gonna be killed. 34:48.403 --> 34:49.944 Yeah, you're going to be shipped off somewhere. 34:49.964 --> 34:50.164 Yeah. 34:50.705 --> 34:51.926 Because you're human detritus. 34:52.126 --> 34:52.446 Exactly. 34:52.466 --> 34:53.607 That's how they treat you, though. 34:53.907 --> 34:56.729 And who's the guy that jackass who runs Ryanair? 34:56.749 --> 34:57.590 Stelios. 34:57.730 --> 34:58.710 No, not Stelios. 34:59.051 --> 35:02.493 There's another guy who's the most cynical man in the entire world. 35:02.513 --> 35:02.853 Oh, yeah. 35:02.913 --> 35:06.036 No, the the Irish fellow who keeps complaining about everything. 35:06.056 --> 35:06.876 And he's not fast. 35:06.896 --> 35:07.637 He's totally brave. 35:07.657 --> 35:09.558 He does all those very provocative adverts. 35:09.918 --> 35:13.041 Yeah, this is our opinion, not the opinion of the big British castle. 35:13.061 --> 35:13.461 Exactly. 35:14.422 --> 35:16.865 But, you know, he couldn't give a stuff. 35:16.885 --> 35:18.326 I'm going to call him Michael Ryan. 35:18.526 --> 35:19.788 I think he's a terrible killer. 35:20.208 --> 35:21.330 But, you know, that'll do. 35:21.350 --> 35:22.811 Yeah, exactly. 35:23.772 --> 35:24.273 No, it won't do. 35:25.514 --> 35:25.774 Excuse me. 35:25.795 --> 35:26.175 It won't do. 35:26.215 --> 35:26.716 That's terrible. 35:26.736 --> 35:27.997 I'm choking on that bad fact. 35:30.259 --> 35:31.421 That's a disgusting fact. 35:31.781 --> 35:32.901 And I've got to cough it up there. 35:33.202 --> 35:33.562 There we go. 35:33.602 --> 35:33.962 It's fine. 35:34.002 --> 35:34.442 It's gone now. 35:35.122 --> 35:37.403 But anyway, let's not dwell on him. 35:37.623 --> 35:39.104 But it's awful. 35:39.344 --> 35:45.466 The whole business of ripping people off and the way they find new ways to rip people off and the trolley thing particularly. 35:45.486 --> 35:46.606 I mean, that's outrageous. 35:47.367 --> 35:50.488 Garth, in fact, I was talking to you the other day, he came up with a good idea. 35:50.708 --> 35:57.390 This is a money making scheme for someone, is invent like a little fold away set of wheels that you just attached to your bag. 35:57.450 --> 35:59.431 If your bag doesn't already have wheels, right? 35:59.451 --> 35:59.931 I'm sure it exists. 36:00.271 --> 36:01.892 Now, it must exist, you would think, right? 36:02.132 --> 36:07.515 But something that you can strap around three or four large bags and then just wheel it along. 36:07.535 --> 36:08.355 I'm sure they exist. 36:08.535 --> 36:10.856 You would think so, but that's the hallmark of a genius idea. 36:10.876 --> 36:12.857 I think I've seen one, is the thing. 36:12.937 --> 36:13.177 Really? 36:13.677 --> 36:19.060 I think, you know, you sometimes see people on holidays who are like professional holidaygoers and they've got all the amazing equipment. 36:19.160 --> 36:19.640 All the gear. 36:19.760 --> 36:20.321 James Bond. 36:20.581 --> 36:21.761 James Bond on holiday. 36:21.801 --> 36:22.462 That's probably what he has. 36:22.482 --> 36:23.242 Everything folds away. 36:23.962 --> 36:25.743 when he gets back stores in his shoes. 36:25.763 --> 36:28.225 There's no way that James Bond is going to pay a pound. 36:28.305 --> 36:31.007 No, but he's not going to go by a low-cost airline. 36:31.207 --> 36:34.969 Q would have fitted him out with some kind of strap with wheels on it. 36:35.109 --> 36:35.730 Exactly. 36:36.150 --> 36:43.555 So listen folks, text us or email us even your ideas for your thoughts about what 36:44.315 --> 36:48.300 strikes you as annoying or fun about getting back from holiday. 36:48.580 --> 36:50.062 Okay, we'll have some more examples. 36:50.082 --> 36:55.248 The number is 64046, or you can email Adam and joe.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 36:55.428 --> 37:00.454 Yeah, we'll give you some more examples shortly, but right now here's David Hulme's with I Heard Wonders. 37:02.079 --> 37:07.283 That's David Holmes, the Irish DJ man with a track called I Heard Wonders. 37:07.303 --> 37:12.927 And I'm assuming that is David Holmes stepping up to the plate with a bit of vocal shenanigans there. 37:13.327 --> 37:19.832 I didn't use the word shenanigans as a kind of reductive racialistic comment because he's from Ireland. 37:20.573 --> 37:21.454 I just used it. 37:22.494 --> 37:22.995 It's all right. 37:23.015 --> 37:23.495 It's all right. 37:23.775 --> 37:24.296 It's all right. 37:24.376 --> 37:24.636 Is it? 37:24.876 --> 37:25.477 Everything's okay. 37:25.517 --> 37:26.397 Are you sure? 37:26.457 --> 37:27.198 Just stay calm. 37:28.312 --> 37:30.714 Why did I even start saying all those words just then? 37:30.814 --> 37:31.914 Because you've got to say something. 37:31.934 --> 37:32.755 You're on the radio. 37:32.975 --> 37:33.195 Really? 37:33.215 --> 37:34.916 You've got to fill the dead air. 37:35.036 --> 37:36.717 All I wanted to say was that I thought that was brilliant. 37:36.737 --> 37:37.657 That was a really good song. 37:37.777 --> 37:42.680 It's the first single to be released from his forthcoming album, The Holy Pictures, that's being released on the 8th of September. 37:42.720 --> 37:44.581 And that single's out on September the 1st. 37:45.662 --> 37:46.502 Shenanigans. 37:47.182 --> 37:48.443 Do you know how to spell shenanigans? 37:48.543 --> 37:48.903 Yes. 37:49.043 --> 37:49.524 How do you spell it? 37:49.544 --> 37:54.006 S-H-E-N-Shen-A-N-I-G-A-N-S. 37:57.728 --> 38:16.735 shenanigans is that correct i think it is i could be on one of those spelling bee things uh what about uh what's the irish instrument that's very difficult to spell boron that's an element yeah hydrogen helium lithium beryllium boron carbon nitrogen fluorineon oh i see 38:20.834 --> 38:22.115 And that's how you pronounce it, is it? 38:22.996 --> 38:24.957 Anyway, listen, let's stay on topic. 38:25.217 --> 38:26.418 Well, we haven't got the topic yet. 38:26.619 --> 38:28.220 We're going to do more text the nation things. 38:28.380 --> 38:28.920 OK, yes. 38:29.141 --> 38:42.031 We've introduced to you what people might think is kind of a broad, you know, radio one-ish subject, exciting or depressing things about coming back from holiday, but we're trying to focus it into an intriguing area, right? 38:42.691 --> 38:44.592 Oh, E. Maybe we're not. 38:45.472 --> 38:46.833 OK, now I was misguided. 38:46.873 --> 38:47.273 I'm wrong. 38:47.313 --> 38:48.013 We're not doing that. 38:48.774 --> 38:49.314 Here's some things. 38:49.334 --> 38:50.514 Let's see if you agree with these. 38:52.515 --> 38:56.597 One of the most obvious things is the post pile when you come through the door. 38:56.617 --> 38:57.537 The post pile. 38:57.557 --> 38:58.598 Do you love the post pile? 38:58.878 --> 39:04.160 Don't get much of a post pile because people... Well, it's just bills, bills, bills these days, isn't it? 39:04.520 --> 39:04.840 Exactly. 39:04.860 --> 39:07.261 Because people don't really write letters anymore. 39:07.321 --> 39:09.602 Very few people know how to actually write using a pen. 39:09.802 --> 39:10.342 I have no idea. 39:10.362 --> 39:11.723 And people under 20 don't really know. 39:11.983 --> 39:16.609 because they type and text us so that you don't really get letters anymore. 39:16.629 --> 39:17.230 You don't get letters. 39:17.250 --> 39:18.091 That's a shame, isn't it? 39:18.131 --> 39:18.732 It's true. 39:18.752 --> 39:20.534 It's just Bill's and Max. 39:20.554 --> 39:23.899 What about Stray, Amazon posts, stuff like that you might get? 39:23.919 --> 39:28.585 Well, you mean Stray stuff you've ordered that's taken a long time to come or stuff that's been mis-delivered? 39:29.105 --> 39:29.945 Oh, that never happens. 39:30.746 --> 39:31.806 Yeah, sure it never happens. 39:32.026 --> 39:32.666 I suppose so. 39:32.966 --> 39:35.947 Yeah, well, because what's the best thing you can get in your holiday post nowadays? 39:36.388 --> 39:37.048 Skymag. 39:37.968 --> 39:39.209 That's not the best thing. 39:39.449 --> 39:39.849 Come on. 39:40.089 --> 39:41.209 That's the worst thing. 39:41.229 --> 39:41.729 It's amazing. 39:42.010 --> 39:42.650 All the articles. 39:43.090 --> 39:46.391 That's the worst magazine. 39:46.811 --> 39:47.872 What are you talking about? 39:48.432 --> 39:48.892 It's amazing. 39:48.932 --> 39:49.812 I'm writing for them. 39:50.232 --> 39:50.492 Are you? 39:50.512 --> 39:50.853 No, I'm not. 39:51.253 --> 39:51.933 No, I'm editing. 39:52.413 --> 40:09.358 uh i'm not um there well yeah there's the bills no it's post pile is good let's move on what else post pile is depressing basically yeah it used to be fun in the olden days now it's uh now it's a nightmare uh phone messages right that's true i tell you i like the emails coming in 40:09.958 --> 40:12.620 I like having 124 emails or something. 40:12.640 --> 40:13.320 Oh, emails is different. 40:13.340 --> 40:15.462 That's just if I've been away for a weekend. 40:15.482 --> 40:15.462 124. 40:15.522 --> 40:17.223 That's just a weekend. 40:17.363 --> 40:17.583 Right. 40:17.603 --> 40:20.905 That number was much too low for a two-week holiday. 40:20.985 --> 40:26.229 117 of those will be spam, and then a couple of those will be nice. 40:26.589 --> 40:29.191 But yeah, no, I'm thinking more of actual phone messages. 40:29.431 --> 40:30.511 Do you still get those? 40:30.912 --> 40:31.792 And have you got recently? 40:31.832 --> 40:34.114 I mean, this is in the last four months or something. 40:34.534 --> 40:38.457 You're getting random spam phone messages. 40:38.657 --> 40:39.378 One is getting them. 40:39.698 --> 40:40.759 Have you got those recently? 40:40.779 --> 40:42.401 I have had them in the past. 40:42.761 --> 40:44.742 I wouldn't connect them particularly to coming back from holiday. 40:44.763 --> 40:49.626 Well, it's out of control now because sometimes they just ring over and over and over and over again. 40:50.407 --> 40:51.508 And there's nothing you can do to stop. 40:51.528 --> 40:53.809 And when you get back from holiday, there's loads of them. 40:53.869 --> 40:55.870 Yeah, they've just... I'm just trying to tie it into the holiday thing. 40:56.510 --> 40:56.811 Yes! 40:57.271 --> 40:59.272 When you get back from holiday, there's loads of them. 40:59.412 --> 40:59.632 Yeah. 41:00.172 --> 41:00.933 Come on, doc. 41:01.033 --> 41:02.454 I haven't experienced that. 41:02.514 --> 41:03.134 Have you not? 41:03.294 --> 41:03.514 No. 41:03.534 --> 41:06.696 Go away for two weeks and it'll happen to you, I'm telling you. 41:06.736 --> 41:07.436 It's a nightmare. 41:08.557 --> 41:09.598 Also, what else? 41:09.698 --> 41:10.518 Oh yeah, stinky fridge. 41:11.158 --> 41:12.259 Stinky fridge! 41:12.419 --> 41:14.340 Do you clean out the fridge before you go away? 41:14.360 --> 41:15.541 Are you diligent about that or...? 41:16.441 --> 41:19.604 Yeah, our fridge is quite sweet-smelling, it's not that stinky. 41:20.625 --> 41:21.486 Not got any meat in there. 41:22.667 --> 41:24.088 Some ham, possibly. 41:24.329 --> 41:26.310 So you're making sure you eat all the ham before you go away. 41:26.330 --> 41:26.851 Probably, yeah. 41:27.111 --> 41:29.633 More likely to have decomposed fruit in our house. 41:29.994 --> 41:31.075 Yes, yes. 41:31.455 --> 41:32.196 In a big bowl. 41:32.456 --> 41:33.177 In a big bowl. 41:33.817 --> 41:37.280 The satsumas are the sneaky ones, because they look good from the top. 41:38.061 --> 41:41.463 lift them up, they peel off the bottom, and they're all mouldy and strange. 41:41.483 --> 41:42.964 And you get one that goes weird. 41:43.044 --> 41:47.668 Sometimes you get a bag of them, and this one bad satsuma in there... Same thing in the police force. 41:47.708 --> 41:48.688 ...sets the whole lot off. 41:48.808 --> 41:49.749 One bad satsuma. 41:49.949 --> 41:53.231 One bad satsuma in the whole... The whole police force is corrupt. 41:53.271 --> 41:54.152 Take the whole force down. 41:54.412 --> 41:59.215 Listen, let's have some music, because we've got to announce the winner of Song Wars. 41:59.235 --> 41:59.836 Video Wars. 41:59.856 --> 42:00.676 Video Wars. 42:00.696 --> 42:01.297 Video Wars. 42:01.317 --> 42:02.417 Yes, after 10.30. 42:02.638 --> 42:03.158 After the new year. 42:03.178 --> 42:07.541 So here's a record, and after that, there'll be something at the bottom of the hour, and then we'll have the big announcement. 42:08.061 --> 42:10.084 Now here's a free play for you listeners. 42:10.564 --> 42:14.509 This one popped up on my mp3 device the other day. 42:14.689 --> 42:17.632 You're getting all the free plays just because I played that footloose rubbish. 42:17.913 --> 42:18.473 What are you talking about? 42:18.493 --> 42:19.755 I've been banned from free plays. 42:19.795 --> 42:20.656 You're getting another one. 42:22.344 --> 42:23.345 I'm like a calm child. 42:23.365 --> 42:24.946 Calm down, Dr. Sexy. 42:25.406 --> 42:29.249 Now, this is a live version, and normally I've got an aversion to live versions. 42:29.569 --> 42:30.449 A live version aversion. 42:30.489 --> 42:31.490 A live version aversion. 42:32.271 --> 42:36.273 But maybe it's one of the nice things about getting older is that you start to appreciate things like this. 42:37.014 --> 42:42.518 This is an amazing version of Sweet Jane by the Velvet Underground from their 1969 live album. 42:42.538 --> 42:43.618 The year I was born, Joe. 42:44.199 --> 42:48.522 Amazing to think that this was going on as I was busting out. 42:49.442 --> 42:51.704 But it's a weird... Yeah, okay. 42:52.764 --> 42:59.410 It's a weird album because it sounds as if they're in a little cafe with about 16 people in the audience, you know? 42:59.470 --> 43:08.518 It's very intimate and it's got some great stuff on there and it really evokes how exciting it must have been to actually see this band play and how great they must have sounded. 43:08.538 --> 43:10.380 So I hope you enjoy this version of Sweet Jane. 43:17.037 --> 43:18.898 Sixteen people, see, in the audience there. 43:18.918 --> 43:21.179 That was the Rebel Underground with a live version of Sweet Jane. 43:21.199 --> 43:23.080 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 43:23.120 --> 43:26.081 It's time now for the news read by Harvey Cook and Louise Hollander. 43:27.202 --> 43:29.102 It's Brian Storm. 43:29.563 --> 43:31.123 Not Brainstorm, you see. 43:31.884 --> 43:32.884 Brian Storm. 43:33.944 --> 43:34.225 Joe. 43:34.505 --> 43:35.605 Yeah, I know that. 43:35.765 --> 43:36.746 Yeah, but I'm saying it. 43:37.816 --> 43:42.118 You know I know all about the Arctic Monkeys, and I knew that was called Brian Storm. 43:42.138 --> 43:43.318 Give me an Arctic Monkeys fact. 43:44.219 --> 43:46.179 One of their best fans is David Cameron. 43:47.300 --> 43:48.080 That's my fact. 43:48.100 --> 43:50.081 It's Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music. 43:50.201 --> 43:53.702 It's now time for an extraordinary part of the show. 43:53.722 --> 43:58.604 We're now going to announce the runners up and the winner of Video Wars, our big competition. 43:58.664 --> 44:00.605 Adam, you've done some sort of a special jingle. 44:01.145 --> 44:02.346 At what point should it be played? 44:02.786 --> 44:04.407 I think probably around about now. 44:04.707 --> 44:05.027 Okay. 44:23.697 --> 44:24.318 Very nice. 44:25.178 --> 44:26.699 Yeah, hello Garth. 44:26.959 --> 44:30.381 Oh, sorry, am I on? 44:30.541 --> 44:32.422 Well, be careful, you are now live. 44:32.442 --> 44:33.703 No swearing. 44:33.983 --> 44:36.785 No swearing, because Garth's got the most potty mouth. 44:36.825 --> 44:38.666 He has. 44:38.866 --> 44:40.787 This is Garth Jennings, you're hearing listeners. 44:40.827 --> 44:45.269 He's the director of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Son of Rambo and many fantastic pop videos. 44:45.289 --> 44:47.811 He's a proper director, a professional director. 44:48.131 --> 44:49.352 And he was one of the judges. 44:50.052 --> 44:54.015 And we all sat down together and chose... Go on. 44:54.255 --> 44:55.276 Sorry to interrupt. 44:55.757 --> 45:03.322 Garth, I was going to say that I showed your coffee and TV video for Blur to my young sons this week, and they absolutely loved it. 45:03.523 --> 45:04.163 Oh, that's good. 45:04.383 --> 45:05.444 That was a smash. 45:05.604 --> 45:07.846 All your stuff is pretty good for the under fives, though. 45:08.366 --> 45:09.487 I think that's an insult, Garth. 45:09.507 --> 45:11.409 I'm not sure the bands are so keen on that. 45:11.509 --> 45:13.130 It's not an insult at all. 45:13.150 --> 45:13.991 It's a masterpiece. 45:14.011 --> 45:17.954 I'm going to show them their Supergrass pumping on their stereo one tomorrow, I reckon. 45:18.254 --> 45:20.116 So listen, we should crack on with these results. 45:20.977 --> 45:29.625 We've said a million times thank you to everybody who's entered and it really is horrible having to pick winners and runners up and stuff because everyone did so very well. 45:30.126 --> 45:30.907 Don't you think Garth? 45:31.287 --> 45:37.053 Yeah, well I honestly thought when you asked me to come in and judge this video thing I thought it would be really awful. 45:37.552 --> 45:37.812 Okay. 45:37.832 --> 45:41.213 Those people I thought would just do rubbish and it was amazing. 45:41.753 --> 45:42.573 They all did good. 45:43.093 --> 45:47.094 But we've had to choose some winners and a winner and some runners up. 45:47.174 --> 45:53.675 We should say as well that we spent a good two hours having all of us watch the videos individually beforehand. 45:53.695 --> 46:04.177 We watched every single thing that came in and then we all agreed on a shortlist and then we came in and spent two more hours sitting there and discussing all the entries. 46:05.518 --> 46:07.559 The ticket tents got a little bit tense. 46:07.579 --> 46:16.745 I got into a fight little fight with Garth as a bit of a scuffle and in the fight Garth reached out and he smacked Joe in the shins and then Joe fell back. 46:16.785 --> 46:21.628 Then Garth ripped my shirt off and then two of the women there got really overexcited. 46:21.648 --> 46:24.629 It just got a bit blurry. 46:24.710 --> 46:25.870 It was blurry what was going on. 46:25.890 --> 46:28.192 It was snogging it was like that. 46:28.492 --> 46:29.853 Anyway listen listen listen listen. 46:30.653 --> 46:31.995 Let's stay on topic here. 46:32.575 --> 46:35.638 Before we announce the runners up, we should tell you what they've won. 46:36.379 --> 46:38.220 The main winner wins the chance. 46:38.301 --> 46:41.784 Wait for it to come into the studio and do what? 46:42.625 --> 46:43.626 Just watch the show. 46:43.666 --> 46:44.266 Hang out with us. 46:44.627 --> 46:50.712 You can choose whether you want to come and actually sit in the studio with us or watch us through a glass partition. 46:50.732 --> 46:52.394 But, you know, since we announced that 46:52.694 --> 47:09.177 um dreadful prize there's there's some other more tangible good things going to happen to the winning video it's going to be showcased on the six music website from 11am this morning it's going to be on six musics mobile site so you can watch it on your telephones um the winner's going to come in and spend the morning here at six music and be on the show and it's highly possible 47:09.517 --> 47:19.404 that the winning video will be on the BBC's red button service, on the actual telly from next weekend, and even possibly on the BBC big screens around the country. 47:19.424 --> 47:26.269 We're waiting for confirmation, but there might be some amazing extra thing going on on the BBC's big screens, so stay tuned for that. 47:26.849 --> 47:28.831 Everyone will win a signed copy of the Song Wars album. 47:29.111 --> 47:31.592 Garth, are you throwing in copies of Son of Rambo as well? 47:31.612 --> 47:33.554 I'm throwing in copies of Son of Rambo. 47:33.914 --> 47:34.775 So let's get on with it. 47:34.835 --> 47:36.796 These are the runners up in no particular order. 47:36.816 --> 47:39.837 We're going to build up to the winner, but these are the four runners up. 47:40.698 --> 47:42.319 Adam, who's the first of the four runners up? 47:43.079 --> 47:50.023 Well, this was the Emmett family who created a kind of amazing drama in their kitchen. 47:50.043 --> 47:59.648 We had a lot of people making videos for the Meatballs song in their kitchens, but this one really stuck out because it was clearly a family effort. 48:00.448 --> 48:07.172 And they had what I assume was their young daughter, unless they'd just borrowed a young girl from another family. 48:07.953 --> 48:09.293 And she was doing an amazing job. 48:09.353 --> 48:14.917 It started off with her just singing a little bit of James' Brain before... He had a framing narrative. 48:14.977 --> 48:18.539 Yeah, it was great before the video for Meatballs started up. 48:18.999 --> 48:27.524 It featured a lot of things, a couple of things that other people had done, like inserting, sort of animating a little face into some meatballs. 48:28.344 --> 48:30.466 But it was done particularly well in this case. 48:30.486 --> 48:31.246 Didn't you think Garth? 48:31.466 --> 48:32.667 Yeah, because actually it was weird. 48:32.707 --> 48:34.488 The meatballs looked a little bit like Joe. 48:35.129 --> 48:35.849 Yes, they did. 48:35.869 --> 48:38.891 Well, the meatballs was their son. 48:39.772 --> 48:44.535 Was their son, the Emmett's son, his face wiped into a meatball. 48:45.495 --> 48:47.496 So that might be quite insulting to the young chap. 48:47.737 --> 48:49.137 No, I think that's a compliment. 48:49.398 --> 48:51.299 But we all... What was the daughter's name? 48:51.339 --> 48:51.679 Laura. 48:51.939 --> 48:52.640 Laura Max. 48:54.091 --> 48:58.774 Yeah, but that was a fantastic effort and people can see the runners up on the website, presumably as well, can't they? 48:58.794 --> 48:58.994 Yeah. 48:59.274 --> 49:00.615 So go and check that one out. 49:01.036 --> 49:02.957 And it was such a sort of heartwarming endeavor, wasn't it? 49:02.977 --> 49:11.142 That the whole family had done it in their kitchen and it was, you know, we felt really showed the quality of British families working together. 49:11.342 --> 49:13.784 Yeah, especially the ending with the giant meatball head. 49:14.104 --> 49:15.685 Oh, and yeah, mixed media effects as well. 49:15.725 --> 49:16.626 Practical props. 49:16.666 --> 49:18.027 They made all the props in the fridge. 49:18.347 --> 49:22.270 They had graphic effects with the wipes, all sorts of stuff going on there. 49:23.030 --> 49:26.692 It looks like a very healthy and happy household, which is what we like to see. 49:27.873 --> 49:30.115 So congratulations to the Emmett family. 49:30.175 --> 49:31.756 They're one of our runners up. 49:32.096 --> 49:36.038 The second runner up is a lovely lady called Ali. 49:36.739 --> 49:37.039 Boy. 49:37.099 --> 49:37.339 Boy. 49:37.419 --> 49:37.739 Really? 49:37.959 --> 49:38.160 Yeah. 49:38.420 --> 49:38.640 Ali's the 49:39.160 --> 49:39.460 Really? 49:39.600 --> 50:06.527 Oh and so his wife was starring and they were they both in the video okay I'll start that again a lovely man who made and they've made an amazing video which is all it's animation but it's done in camera so I don't know what to compare it to really but it's a bit like those Japanese game show things you see on YouTube where they reproduce Super Mario Brothers with massive cutouts and stuff you know what I mean yeah and scrolling 50:06.687 --> 50:07.368 panoramas. 50:07.848 --> 50:10.670 So it's a car race, it's another one for Jane's brain. 50:11.431 --> 50:23.380 She's having a car race, she's got a giant helmet, it goes inside her crash helmet and you see her brain, but it's all done with kind of two-dimensional cardboard cutouts in camera, but yet it's all moving. 50:23.420 --> 50:25.021 Is that a decent enough description, Garth? 50:25.081 --> 50:26.602 Yeah, it was brilliant. 50:27.403 --> 50:30.565 That's what I think we were all blown away by, the effort they went to. 50:31.297 --> 50:33.759 I think it was the most amazing effort. 50:33.779 --> 50:35.260 Again, that was a family effort. 50:35.340 --> 50:36.381 Didn't they have their mums and dads? 50:36.401 --> 50:36.761 I think so. 50:36.801 --> 50:38.102 Nands and everything. 50:38.222 --> 50:39.583 Backgrounding and everything. 50:39.943 --> 50:40.784 Yes, it's extraordinary. 50:40.804 --> 50:47.109 You really should check that out because at the very least it'll be nicked by some mobile phone company for their next campaign or something. 50:47.129 --> 50:51.131 Well, it certainly had a touch of the Michel Gondry about it and the creativity. 50:52.012 --> 50:53.433 And amazing attention to detail. 50:53.513 --> 50:56.834 Even the closing credits, which go on for considerably longer than the main feature. 50:56.894 --> 50:58.755 But that's not their fault, because the song is short. 50:59.275 --> 51:02.396 But every credit is introduced in a new, brilliant little way. 51:02.416 --> 51:04.097 Yeah, it was a wonderful piece of work. 51:05.277 --> 51:11.759 Another runner-up was Bill Edwards, who created the best bit of animation that we saw, like from scratch. 51:11.819 --> 51:12.300 You know what I mean? 51:12.500 --> 51:14.841 Was it actually Flash that he was using there, Garth, do you think? 51:14.901 --> 51:15.701 I have no idea. 51:15.741 --> 51:17.742 That was the black and white one, with you very angry. 51:17.942 --> 51:18.702 Yes. 51:19.102 --> 51:21.083 I thought that captured you in a nutshell there. 51:21.523 --> 51:28.968 A brilliant cartoon of Adam, who basically looks like a black bag if he pulls the corners and puts shoes and hands on them. 51:29.568 --> 51:32.330 And then you're at the end with some Courvoisier or something, aren't you? 51:32.650 --> 51:33.130 Who me? 51:33.331 --> 51:41.376 Joe, aren't you at the end of that one with a little... Yeah, I'm sort of portrayed as kind of king of the world, which I enjoyed a lot. 51:41.476 --> 51:49.421 And there are some spoof headlines in there, including one that says Cornish is the best human ever, which I thought was a particularly clever and perceptive touch. 51:50.001 --> 51:55.365 Yeah, I had a couple of problems with this one because basically it boiled us down. 51:55.766 --> 52:09.456 The whole thesis of the thing was Buxton is a kind of midget, a furious little hairy midget man, and Cornish is this kind of cool, long guy sipping his Courvoisier and lauding it all over the rest of things. 52:09.476 --> 52:10.097 Whose child is that? 52:10.157 --> 52:10.697 Is that at one of them's? 52:10.717 --> 52:13.499 Sorry, that's the kid that just invaded the room that I've said. 52:13.519 --> 52:14.520 Do not come into this room. 52:14.720 --> 52:17.202 That's the stupidest thing I shouldn't have done that really, should I? 52:17.222 --> 52:19.544 Because now I've made it the most exciting room to go into. 52:19.904 --> 52:38.162 yes so so that's but that's uh bill edwards his angry adam cartoon that's fantastic bill and and really good animation there uh quite reminiscent of um of ronald soul as he called is that his name uh really sort of brilliant style to the animation and everyone should go and check that one out and if he doesn't get a job in some big 52:38.602 --> 52:40.803 cartoon company, then there's no justice at all. 52:41.763 --> 52:52.707 Final runner-up that we were really knocked out, but I particularly loved this one, was Stuart Lansley, who made a pastiche of the video for No Surprises by Radiohead. 52:53.367 --> 53:04.170 Obviously the original one of those had Tom York's head in a big bowl of water that gradually filled up, so that's exactly what Stuart Lansley did for the meatballs track, but the 53:05.771 --> 53:22.884 the clincher was that he put meatballs in the bowl, like his head was in a big kind of goldfish bowl thing which gradually filled up with what appeared to be boiling water, obviously I hope it wasn't, and someone would drop in meatballs and kind of stir them around while he was singing the lyrics. 53:22.904 --> 53:26.247 And this is all for real in one take, so this is a kind of Houdini-esque 53:26.747 --> 53:53.114 feet of human endurance it's also spot-on perfect parody of that Radiohead video down to every tiny detail and it also provides a brilliant interpretation of the song by adding the meatballs and the stirring and the most impressive thing is when the water drains and he's being attacked by these meatballs when they're suspended in the water they're trying to get up his nose yeah they're like rubbing on his eyeballs the water drains away and he manages to lip-sync the last line it's great he I mean 53:53.234 --> 53:58.836 I mean, he went through, in fact, he probably went through even more than Tom York did when he did the video. 53:58.856 --> 54:07.980 If you've ever seen that wonderful Radiohead film, Meeting People Is Easy, you see the behind-the-scenes trauma that Tom York went through when he was shooting that video. 54:09.001 --> 54:15.504 But I'm sure that Stuart went through the same kind of pain, because it's not easy to just get a bowl there and fill it full of water. 54:15.684 --> 54:20.126 Yeah, and to make it worse, a spoon comes in halfway and starts stirring it around his face. 54:20.726 --> 54:21.466 Man, it's great. 54:21.506 --> 54:23.347 I was really knocked out by that one. 54:23.647 --> 54:30.428 So those are the Four Runners Up listeners, and we do urge you to check those out on the Adam and Jo's Six Music website, because they are all worth your time. 54:30.448 --> 54:31.689 They'll be up there from 11am. 54:31.949 --> 54:34.269 Before we announce the big winner, we're going to play a record. 54:34.549 --> 54:35.690 Will you stay on the line, Garth? 54:35.750 --> 54:36.970 Yeah, sure. 54:37.130 --> 54:38.770 This record is a pro of nothing. 54:38.790 --> 54:41.551 It doesn't sort of fit at all into the logic of this. 54:41.571 --> 54:42.411 But it's good. 54:42.451 --> 54:42.871 But it's good. 54:42.911 --> 54:45.332 Oasis with the Chemical Brothers remix of Falling Down. 54:45.352 --> 54:46.072 We'll be back in a second. 55:05.929 --> 55:15.012 So if you've just tuned in, we're in the middle of announcing the results of our Video Wars competition where we asked listeners to make a video for two of our Song Wars song and we had lots of fantastic entries. 55:15.032 --> 55:28.316 We've already just told you about the Four Runners-Up, the Emmett family, Ally McKernan, Bill Edwards and Stuart Langsley, all of whom did amazing work, but there is a winner and his, Garth, are you there? 55:28.536 --> 55:29.177 Yes, I'm here. 55:29.338 --> 55:30.881 Who's gonna get to announce the winner? 55:30.921 --> 55:31.622 It's too exciting. 55:31.682 --> 55:32.183 Oh, you've got to do it. 55:32.203 --> 55:35.009 No, I think Garth... But Garth doesn't know who it... Yeah, you do. 55:35.029 --> 55:36.131 Do you remember his name, though? 55:36.331 --> 55:36.451 Yeah. 55:37.023 --> 55:41.544 I think I do, but it's a bit scary because I might get it wrong, and that would just be the worst thing ever. 55:41.604 --> 55:46.485 I think someone there should do it, just in case I've got it slightly wrong, which is something I'm quite good at doing. 55:46.905 --> 55:47.845 OK, OK. 55:47.985 --> 55:54.367 Well, the winner's name is Chris Salt, and he did an amazing Lego video, and I believe he's on the line right now. 55:55.147 --> 55:55.387 Is he? 55:55.507 --> 55:55.687 Yeah. 55:55.927 --> 55:56.467 Hello, Chris. 55:57.107 --> 55:57.407 Hi, Harris. 55:57.867 --> 55:59.408 It's Joe here, actually, but that's all right. 55:59.448 --> 56:00.348 We're interchangeable. 56:00.628 --> 56:01.228 How are you doing? 56:02.978 --> 56:05.759 Now, say hello to Adam and Garth as well. 56:05.879 --> 56:07.419 And Garth and Adam, say hello to Chris. 56:08.200 --> 56:09.660 Hello, Chris. 56:10.060 --> 56:10.540 Hello, Chris. 56:10.580 --> 56:12.201 Will you be nice to each other? 56:12.821 --> 56:14.601 Don't steal his curly-whirly. 56:15.602 --> 56:16.922 Do you like Transformers? 56:17.662 --> 56:19.563 Chris, where are you from? 56:19.583 --> 56:21.243 I'm from Stoke-on-Trent. 56:21.643 --> 56:22.563 Stoke-on-Trent. 56:22.804 --> 56:23.264 Stokey. 56:23.384 --> 56:24.224 Do you call it Stokey? 56:25.384 --> 56:26.945 I generally just call it Stoke. 56:27.005 --> 56:27.525 Trenticles? 56:28.605 --> 56:29.285 The Trent farm? 56:29.585 --> 56:30.046 Doesn't matter. 56:30.326 --> 56:31.466 How old are you, Chris? 56:32.452 --> 56:32.592 I'm 39. 56:33.314 --> 56:32.592 39? 56:33.594 --> 56:35.317 That's a very, very good age. 56:35.337 --> 56:35.878 Good age. 56:36.038 --> 56:37.641 And your video is extraordinary. 56:37.741 --> 56:42.890 Now, you've kind of got a website and you specialise in doing these Lego animations, is that correct? 56:43.511 --> 56:44.794 Yeah, I'm done with you, yeah. 56:45.208 --> 56:50.971 And, you know, when we saw your video, we were so, uh, bowled over by it, we almost thought, ah, this is too good, can't win. 56:51.211 --> 56:52.892 We had a big argument about it, Chris. 56:53.053 --> 56:56.835 It's like, it's too professional, it's too polished, it's just too good. 56:56.995 --> 57:00.897 And then we realized the lunacy of what we were saying, how can something be too good? 57:01.237 --> 57:04.759 Goodness should be rewarded, not sort of swept under the carpet. 57:05.119 --> 57:07.541 You know, just, it's a very British thing, isn't it? 57:08.061 --> 57:22.948 We were sort of basically what the deal was, Chris, that we were sort of thinking, you know, in terms of the big British castle profile, what would be lovely is if we found kind of a poor immigrant child who had made a video for the competition and they won. 57:23.348 --> 57:26.189 But all the videos from the poor immigrant children were really bad. 57:26.309 --> 57:30.331 So we just had to go for the best one, which was yours. 57:31.471 --> 57:32.612 What do you do for a living, Chris? 57:32.632 --> 57:33.212 Can I ask you? 57:34.113 --> 57:35.073 On my computer program. 57:36.402 --> 57:40.685 And the whole Lego film thing is just a hobby, a sideline? 57:41.326 --> 57:46.890 Yes, I mean, it's kind of... all right, financial software, so... Well, not anymore. 57:46.910 --> 57:49.331 Focus from today, your life is changing. 57:49.671 --> 57:54.515 The second you put the phone down, it'll start ringing again with major Hollywood studios trying to get you. 57:54.535 --> 57:56.636 That's not going to happen. 57:56.816 --> 58:00.419 Have you done sort of professional Lego work for other people, Chris? 58:01.601 --> 58:03.685 What's professional Lego work? 58:03.966 --> 58:06.891 Oh, you don't mean hired by millionaires to build things for their children? 58:07.432 --> 58:08.194 Let's ask him. 58:08.274 --> 58:11.120 Have you got any jobs making films for other people? 58:12.046 --> 58:12.847 I haven't, no. 58:13.147 --> 58:17.389 I've had a couple of indie bands ask me to do music videos for free. 58:18.190 --> 58:18.890 For free? 58:18.950 --> 58:20.331 That's the snag, isn't it? 58:20.992 --> 58:22.313 Indie bands, they've never got any money. 58:22.693 --> 58:25.775 But the world listeners out there, this guy's amazingly talented, Chris Salton. 58:25.795 --> 58:28.456 You can see his winning video on our website. 58:28.576 --> 58:33.439 And, you know, it's quite exciting that it might possibly go up on the red button and the BBC big screens and stuff. 58:33.519 --> 58:35.180 Isn't that quite exciting, Chris? 58:35.361 --> 58:35.861 It's the big toe. 58:36.474 --> 58:39.957 I'm looking forward to touring the country and looking for those screens. 58:39.977 --> 58:43.999 What about touring down to London and coming into the studio? 58:44.059 --> 58:45.520 Is that an exciting prospect at all? 58:46.021 --> 58:48.282 Or is that filly with fear and resentment? 58:48.302 --> 58:51.425 It depends if the inappropriate touching is still on the cover. 58:52.285 --> 58:53.506 Do you want it or not want it? 58:54.527 --> 58:55.507 He wants it from one of us. 58:56.989 --> 59:01.131 No, this is going down a very bad... But listen, Chris, can you just describe your video? 59:01.171 --> 59:03.133 Explain what happens in your video to the listeners, please. 59:03.934 --> 59:07.877 And it basically follows the lyrics of the song, Jane's Brain. 59:07.897 --> 59:12.601 Starts off with a lady in her living room. 59:13.062 --> 59:13.742 A Lego lady. 59:14.102 --> 59:14.783 Lego lady, yes. 59:15.363 --> 59:19.607 And it cuts for her teaching a class of children and she's 59:20.256 --> 59:24.758 surrounded by elephant monkeys and it just goes downhill from there really. 59:24.778 --> 59:36.285 It goes uphill at great speed because there's amazing transitions and there's beautiful attention to detail and there's an amazing effect shot where a car crashes through a kind of billboard that was particularly impressive, didn't you think Garth? 59:36.485 --> 59:42.188 That was amazing but I have to tell you Chris, my favourite bit is the exhaust fumes that you made out of Lego. 59:42.288 --> 59:43.448 I thought that was brilliant. 59:44.049 --> 59:46.110 That was absolutely a last minute thing. 59:47.079 --> 59:48.460 just occurred to me as I was filming it. 59:48.600 --> 59:49.840 I was genius, man. 59:49.860 --> 01:00:01.264 Chris basically got the little grey single circular studs that you get with Lego and he managed to animate them all at different little angles there so it looked exactly like exhaust fumes from this car. 01:00:01.284 --> 01:00:02.185 It was amazing. 01:00:02.205 --> 01:00:03.025 It's really good. 01:00:03.345 --> 01:00:05.066 How long did it take you to make the whole thing, Chris? 01:00:07.006 --> 01:00:07.807 The whole thing. 01:00:07.827 --> 01:00:12.629 It was about three full days of animation and building steps and things. 01:00:12.689 --> 01:00:13.589 A couple of evenings. 01:00:14.335 --> 01:00:14.977 Good job, mate. 01:00:14.997 --> 01:00:19.871 Well, it's brilliant and congratulations and thank you for entering and, you know, it was an amazing bit of work. 01:00:19.891 --> 01:00:21.335 When are you going to come and see us, then, Chris? 01:00:21.375 --> 01:00:22.197 When can you come down? 01:00:25.040 --> 01:00:27.542 You don't need to actually put a date in the diary right now. 01:00:27.902 --> 01:00:29.123 I wouldn't worry about it too much. 01:00:29.143 --> 01:00:31.405 I want to know when Chris is going to come to the studio. 01:00:32.146 --> 01:00:33.727 When is Chris going to be here? 01:00:34.067 --> 01:00:34.928 Are you going to be here? 01:00:35.028 --> 01:00:37.830 I don't think the show is going to... I think Adam needs a date. 01:00:38.130 --> 01:00:38.571 A week after? 01:00:38.591 --> 01:00:38.831 When? 01:00:38.931 --> 01:00:39.191 When? 01:00:39.371 --> 01:00:40.072 When are you coming? 01:00:40.152 --> 01:00:40.452 When? 01:00:41.053 --> 01:00:42.414 OK, we'll sort it out with you after. 01:00:42.454 --> 01:00:44.295 You might even have to put your mouth with that. 01:00:44.536 --> 01:00:46.017 What are you talking about? 01:00:46.457 --> 01:00:48.599 Well, listen, thank you very, very much, Chris, for coming online. 01:00:48.639 --> 01:00:50.400 Thanks very much, Garth, for coming online. 01:00:50.580 --> 01:00:51.561 Oh, it was my pleasure. 01:00:51.601 --> 01:00:52.142 Well done, Chris. 01:00:52.785 --> 01:01:01.892 And thanks to everybody who entered, you know, we really were overwhelmed and, you know, don't hate us for not choosing you, because we wanted to choose everybody and it was really impossible. 01:01:02.893 --> 01:01:06.716 It's nearly the top of our... Well, have we got to talk a bit more up to the top of our...? 01:01:06.876 --> 01:01:07.076 No. 01:01:08.137 --> 01:01:14.642 We're going to have a top of our sweeper, then some coldplay, just to, you know, bring everything into perspective, into perspective. 01:01:16.684 --> 01:01:17.304 Here's a sweeper. 01:01:21.960 --> 01:01:23.961 That was a band called Coldplay. 01:01:24.401 --> 01:01:26.983 They're going to change things, so keep an eye out for them. 01:01:27.183 --> 01:01:31.665 You might not have paid attention to their lyrics, but there's some pretty radical stuff going on in there. 01:01:31.685 --> 01:01:36.648 They're proposing a number of revolutions there, and so that's going to shake things up a little bit. 01:01:36.688 --> 01:01:40.290 And I would think the Russians would be listening to that around now. 01:01:40.310 --> 01:01:40.750 Let's hope. 01:01:40.790 --> 01:01:41.610 Let's pray they are. 01:01:42.031 --> 01:01:42.231 Yeah. 01:01:42.671 --> 01:01:44.813 Let's pray that the Russians love their children, too. 01:01:45.153 --> 01:01:46.354 I think that's very unlikely. 01:01:46.774 --> 01:01:47.414 I hate children. 01:01:47.434 --> 01:01:49.175 I absolutely love them. 01:01:49.576 --> 01:01:51.597 So we're good talking to people on the phone, aren't we? 01:01:52.177 --> 01:01:52.418 Are we? 01:01:52.518 --> 01:01:53.238 On our show. 01:01:54.799 --> 01:01:56.060 We're really amazing. 01:01:56.080 --> 01:01:57.681 We should have like a regular guest. 01:01:57.881 --> 01:01:59.702 This is why we don't have guests, I don't think. 01:02:00.043 --> 01:02:01.944 We used to be good on the other radio station. 01:02:02.364 --> 01:02:02.624 Really? 01:02:02.664 --> 01:02:03.365 Talking to people. 01:02:03.385 --> 01:02:05.526 Yeah, that was just a four-way. 01:02:05.546 --> 01:02:06.487 They're always complicated. 01:02:06.507 --> 01:02:07.528 A four-way, yeah. 01:02:07.688 --> 01:02:11.911 Remember that four-way... This is Adam and John BBC Six Music. 01:02:11.971 --> 01:02:12.551 It's time for... 01:02:12.651 --> 01:02:14.594 What if I don't want to? 01:02:14.855 --> 01:02:15.916 But I'm using email. 01:02:15.936 --> 01:02:17.238 Is that a problem? 01:02:25.174 --> 01:02:30.015 And Text the Nation this week is depressing or exciting things about coming back from your summer holiday. 01:02:30.055 --> 01:02:34.256 The things that make it enjoyable or depressing when you get back into the country. 01:02:34.696 --> 01:02:35.356 Yeah, exactly. 01:02:35.436 --> 01:02:41.918 And one of the... The things that change are sometimes fun and also depressing. 01:02:42.198 --> 01:02:46.839 Like, basically TV, the fact that TV sort of remains the same is a bit depressing. 01:02:47.139 --> 01:02:50.640 But then there'll be other new things and you think, how did this happen? 01:02:51.080 --> 01:02:52.721 How did this get on the edge? 01:02:52.741 --> 01:02:53.241 You know what I mean? 01:02:53.281 --> 01:02:54.501 Like insane kind of... 01:02:54.941 --> 01:02:56.662 I was thinking about Touch the Truck the other day. 01:02:56.682 --> 01:02:57.442 Do you remember that show? 01:02:57.482 --> 01:02:57.722 Yes. 01:02:57.742 --> 01:03:03.944 I remember getting back from holiday and Touch the Truck was on and I thought, well, the world's much closer to Armageddon. 01:03:04.084 --> 01:03:07.665 Do you remember what the premise of Touch the Truck was? 01:03:07.705 --> 01:03:15.308 They had a big truck and people about 16... It was on Channel 5 and it was setting a shopping mall. 01:03:15.368 --> 01:03:15.568 Yeah. 01:03:16.228 --> 01:03:18.471 You just had to keep your hand on the truck. 01:03:18.531 --> 01:03:28.923 Yeah, 16 people or so, and then some after a few days some people stopped touching the truck, and the person who was still touching the truck for the longest time won their truck. 01:03:31.085 --> 01:03:35.251 Yes, that's the kind of thing that you see when you get back from holiday and you think oh my goodness. 01:03:35.572 --> 01:03:36.133 What's happened? 01:03:36.233 --> 01:03:45.947 I agree to me all the posters along the Motorway on the way back from the airport all the new advertising campaigns used to get me excited Yeah, you films stuff like that, but here's some stuff that's coming from listeners 01:03:47.769 --> 01:03:54.311 Andy in Bath says, the worst thing for me is the realisation that if you take a coke out of the fridge, it won't be replaced the next morning while you're out. 01:03:55.031 --> 01:03:56.852 You have to go to the shop and buy one yourself. 01:03:57.172 --> 01:03:57.932 That's very true. 01:03:57.992 --> 01:04:00.513 I find hotel bathrooms fantastic. 01:04:00.953 --> 01:04:11.156 And, you know, the freshly made bed, the fact that a little lady comes in or a man and changes all your sheets and polishes everything while you're out is easy to get used to that kind of life. 01:04:11.256 --> 01:04:12.556 Even a lady man sometimes. 01:04:12.756 --> 01:04:18.041 Sometimes it's a lady man doing the polishing and they don't even use a cloth. 01:04:18.982 --> 01:04:22.085 Here's another one and this is my favourite one. 01:04:22.105 --> 01:04:24.587 A couple of people have emailed in with this one. 01:04:25.748 --> 01:04:37.199 Gene and James Cameron in Blackpool have commented that something you may or may not enjoy coming back from holiday is the rare chance to experience the smell of your own house. 01:04:37.779 --> 01:04:38.039 Right. 01:04:38.099 --> 01:05:05.087 Now this is very true that houses have smells and I remember as a kid this had quite a big impact on me but you used to be able to sort of smell a completely different aroma in every friend's house and somehow it's what do they call it synesthesia or whatever it's called where you associate colours or smell I think synesthesia is associating colours with days of the week and stuff like that but it's a similar kind of association a general aroma with a particular house 01:05:05.627 --> 01:05:06.067 or family. 01:05:06.087 --> 01:05:14.872 And I don't know whether it has to do with the family or the house, but it's true to say that you never become aware of your own smell because you're so used to it, unless you're coming back from holiday. 01:05:15.272 --> 01:05:15.812 That's right. 01:05:16.113 --> 01:05:17.453 Well, it's still sorts of different things. 01:05:17.513 --> 01:05:25.937 It's like cleaning products and whether they've got pets and whether they smoke and all that kind of stuff gives a house a very particular scent. 01:05:26.258 --> 01:05:32.521 And then obviously sometimes if you're unlucky, though, maybe there's been an accident, like a little flood or whatever in the kitchen, 01:05:33.182 --> 01:05:35.586 and things will be stinky. 01:05:35.606 --> 01:05:37.910 I mean that's deeply depressing when you come back to that. 01:05:37.970 --> 01:05:39.733 But it can be shocking the smell of your own house. 01:05:40.214 --> 01:05:46.044 As James goes on to say, it's like stepping out of your own self and then realizing this is what I smell like. 01:05:46.610 --> 01:05:48.351 Yeah, it's usually nice and comforting though, isn't it? 01:05:48.371 --> 01:05:48.832 Yours isn't. 01:05:49.412 --> 01:05:49.672 Really? 01:05:49.793 --> 01:05:51.934 Your house smells like death and ice cream. 01:05:52.374 --> 01:05:54.436 That's fairly accurate. 01:05:54.536 --> 01:05:55.137 It's not true. 01:05:55.257 --> 01:05:55.497 No, it's not. 01:05:55.517 --> 01:05:56.177 Let's just make that up. 01:05:57.158 --> 01:05:57.979 Here's another one. 01:05:57.999 --> 01:06:02.262 I like being smug and saying, I never get jet lag. 01:06:02.302 --> 01:06:04.424 I just feel normal because I'm great. 01:06:05.725 --> 01:06:08.446 That's from an anonymous texter, because I'm great. 01:06:09.167 --> 01:06:09.827 Very good job. 01:06:11.308 --> 01:06:14.310 I mean, have you ever been burgled when you've got back from holiday? 01:06:14.550 --> 01:06:15.731 Don't think so, maybe as a child. 01:06:15.831 --> 01:06:19.113 Because that's the thing, that's the fear that absolutely everybody has. 01:06:19.133 --> 01:06:22.496 There's always a little voice in the back of your head saying, oh, please, oh, please. 01:06:22.876 --> 01:06:25.538 Like when you turn the key in the lock, when you get back, you know what I mean? 01:06:25.938 --> 01:06:32.082 Wouldn't it be a nightmare if you turned it, but you don't need to turn it because the door is already ajar from when the burglar just left. 01:06:32.202 --> 01:06:33.443 Well, the door's off its hinges. 01:06:33.523 --> 01:06:37.586 Or the doors of caravans and people camping in your front lawn. 01:06:37.766 --> 01:06:38.066 Yeah. 01:06:38.186 --> 01:06:39.187 In your front lawn. 01:06:39.267 --> 01:06:39.747 Not on it. 01:06:40.007 --> 01:06:42.629 One time we got back and that actually happened. 01:06:43.009 --> 01:06:44.470 The door just swung open. 01:06:44.530 --> 01:06:45.431 Didn't have to use the key. 01:06:45.471 --> 01:06:50.254 But here was the thing, we forgot that we had like a key holder, alarm service guy. 01:06:50.694 --> 01:06:57.478 So there was this, so we opened the door and there's this guy dressed in black leathers with a bike helmet on in the hallway. 01:06:57.498 --> 01:06:58.079 Oh my God. 01:06:58.099 --> 01:06:58.979 I freaked out. 01:06:59.480 --> 01:07:01.301 I started to go, oh, what's going on? 01:07:01.681 --> 01:07:02.661 It was the key holiday guy. 01:07:02.681 --> 01:07:03.782 So when you were a child? 01:07:03.822 --> 01:07:04.822 No, this was fairly recently. 01:07:04.862 --> 01:07:05.202 Really? 01:07:05.582 --> 01:07:11.863 And the alarm had gone off for some reason, so he'd come round to reset it, but it happened to be at the exact moment that we were getting back from holiday. 01:07:11.883 --> 01:07:13.244 It was very freaky indeed. 01:07:13.964 --> 01:07:22.526 Ed Norion Bournemouth says, the best thing about getting back from holiday abroad is the immense relief of being able to go into a shop, borrow a restaurant and ask for anything you like without talking really slowly and loudly. 01:07:23.146 --> 01:07:27.689 before attempting to involve a bemused shopkeeper in an impromptu game of international charades. 01:07:38.337 --> 01:07:43.861 Rich says my girlfriend Anne-Marie and I got so fed up with getting depressed after coming home from holiday that we moved to Uganda. 01:07:44.301 --> 01:07:50.465 We're planning on being here for years, can you imagine how massively massively annoyed we're gonna be when we finally come back to the UK? 01:07:50.785 --> 01:07:52.987 Man, you're gonna have a massive pile of post. 01:07:53.187 --> 01:07:54.107 Be really depressing. 01:07:54.247 --> 01:07:56.629 Your phone messages will have filled up and everything. 01:07:57.669 --> 01:07:58.930 Touch the truck, we'll be back on. 01:07:59.230 --> 01:08:00.931 So keep those emails coming in. 01:08:01.691 --> 01:08:04.113 Best and worst things about returning from holidays. 01:08:04.133 --> 01:08:06.294 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 01:08:06.334 --> 01:08:07.555 Now is this your free play, Joe? 01:08:07.795 --> 01:08:09.596 Yeah, this is some Raphael Sadiq. 01:08:09.636 --> 01:08:10.456 He's a soul man. 01:08:10.776 --> 01:08:13.558 He's the only non-major label artist to win five Grammys. 01:08:14.418 --> 01:08:16.459 Is he, and is he the Soul Man? 01:08:16.700 --> 01:08:17.940 Is he C. Thomas Howell? 01:08:18.140 --> 01:08:18.561 He is. 01:08:19.181 --> 01:08:25.985 C. Thomas Howell in his outfit from Soul Man, even though that's not really a film that's in circulation anymore. 01:08:26.065 --> 01:08:28.727 It's not regularly played on Channel 5, is it? 01:08:28.787 --> 01:08:30.408 No, it's bad in certain ways. 01:08:30.448 --> 01:08:33.510 But, you know, Raphael said he isn't C. Thomas Howell in Soul Man. 01:08:33.550 --> 01:08:35.131 He just blacks up C. Thomas Howell, right? 01:08:35.191 --> 01:08:38.613 No, he takes pills, doesn't he, to darken his skin. 01:08:38.993 --> 01:08:39.714 Is that the premise? 01:08:40.194 --> 01:08:41.295 I don't even want to think about it. 01:08:41.715 --> 01:08:43.096 It's so profoundly wrong. 01:08:43.856 --> 01:08:45.117 This has nothing to do with that. 01:08:45.137 --> 01:08:46.218 This is called Charlie Ray. 01:08:48.139 --> 01:08:49.400 That's Madness with Wings of a Dove. 01:08:49.420 --> 01:08:55.223 This is Adam and John BBC Six Music on a Saturday morning, 45 minutes of the show left to go. 01:08:55.283 --> 01:08:58.645 And I'm wondering whether there are any American people listening. 01:08:59.086 --> 01:08:59.566 Bound to be. 01:08:59.706 --> 01:09:00.166 Do you think? 01:09:00.186 --> 01:09:00.767 They're everywhere. 01:09:00.787 --> 01:09:02.588 Some genuine real American people. 01:09:02.728 --> 01:09:02.848 Yeah. 01:09:03.388 --> 01:09:07.272 Because if you are listening and you're American, I'd like your opinion on something. 01:09:07.793 --> 01:09:13.398 You know, if you're a regular listener, Adam and I enjoy actors doing bad accents in films. 01:09:13.538 --> 01:09:14.940 Yeah, we haven't done it for a while, have we? 01:09:15.120 --> 01:09:18.583 There's nothing we like more than, what was his name for Emotions 11? 01:09:18.984 --> 01:09:19.624 Don Cheadle. 01:09:19.684 --> 01:09:21.726 Don Cheadle trying to do an English accent? 01:09:22.167 --> 01:09:26.491 Or what are the other classic bad examples of Americans trying to do English accents? 01:09:27.492 --> 01:09:28.793 Well, Dick Van Dyke, he's the king. 01:09:29.113 --> 01:09:33.855 His one is so mangled in Mary Poppins that you barely... He's not really even trying. 01:09:33.875 --> 01:09:34.116 No. 01:09:35.056 --> 01:09:43.320 Johnny Depp in From Hell... Yeah, he does a pretty good sort of Bowie impression in Sweeney Todd as well. 01:09:43.400 --> 01:09:45.381 Well, the accent is better in Sweeney Todd. 01:09:45.561 --> 01:09:49.784 In From Hell, he's going for something that's supposed to be more authentic. 01:09:50.524 --> 01:09:52.987 No one was suspected to die at Grebs. 01:09:53.628 --> 01:09:55.510 No one could afford Grebs. 01:09:55.710 --> 01:09:56.891 I remember playing clips from that. 01:09:56.931 --> 01:09:58.613 We played clips from that once. 01:09:59.014 --> 01:10:01.076 Is Brad Pitt in Seven Years in Tibet? 01:10:01.276 --> 01:10:01.617 Yes. 01:10:01.857 --> 01:10:03.699 That's not really a British accent that he's doing, though, is it? 01:10:03.759 --> 01:10:04.640 It's German, I think. 01:10:04.700 --> 01:10:05.381 But it's not very 01:10:05.461 --> 01:10:24.480 often that you get it the other way round that you find a British accent a British actor trying to do an American accent right and having a lot of trouble and we're not saying it's easy but it's just in the world of movies where there's massive amounts of money sloshing around you would have thought you know people would try a bit harder or you just get an American 01:10:24.760 --> 01:10:32.210 Yeah, an actor of the proper nationality or a really good voice coach or something to avoid this sort of thing happening. 01:10:32.770 --> 01:10:42.522 On the plane, on the way back from one of my recent joints, I watched a film called Fool's Gold with Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson. 01:10:43.343 --> 01:10:48.287 Joe, I'm giggling because Joe did a little grin after he said... I liked it. 01:10:48.587 --> 01:10:55.493 They're all practically naked through the whole thing and it's very sunny and I don't know really what happened in it but it was very entertaining. 01:10:56.394 --> 01:11:04.020 But it included Ray Winstone's, Britain's number one hard man and British man pretending to be American. 01:11:04.040 --> 01:11:05.161 He's done it a little bit. 01:11:05.181 --> 01:11:08.083 He was pretending to be American in the departed as well. 01:11:08.123 --> 01:11:09.965 Was he making a good fist of it in the departed? 01:11:11.185 --> 01:11:15.706 Well, here are some examples of Ray Winstone's, am I saying his name correctly? 01:11:17.187 --> 01:11:17.647 Winston. 01:11:18.447 --> 01:11:33.851 Of his American accent in the film Fool's Gold, he plays a kind of barnacled, crusty sailor pirate man who's forever trying to muscle in on the gold-finding action in the shallow blue waters of the Bahamas. 01:11:36.132 --> 01:11:39.593 And this is one of his first attempts at an American accent. 01:11:39.949 --> 01:11:45.913 Well, Mr. D's, I'm always delighted to welcome an entrance into my field, wherever it be on land or sea. 01:11:46.353 --> 01:11:48.415 But I feel I need to warn you. 01:11:49.375 --> 01:11:53.938 There's no way of getting away from treasure once it's fastened itself on your mind. 01:11:57.515 --> 01:11:58.676 He's going for it there. 01:11:58.716 --> 01:12:00.577 He's going for the Deep South thing, right? 01:12:00.697 --> 01:12:02.298 Well, I've been allowed to warn you. 01:12:02.758 --> 01:12:04.139 There's no way of fighting it. 01:12:04.339 --> 01:12:05.520 But it keeps slipping. 01:12:06.001 --> 01:12:07.221 It's too much of a stretch. 01:12:07.261 --> 01:12:11.304 He's like tied with a rubber band vocally to the east end or wherever he's from. 01:12:11.384 --> 01:12:12.785 And he keeps boinging back there. 01:12:12.825 --> 01:12:15.146 Listen to it happen in this second excerpt. 01:12:15.527 --> 01:12:18.489 Well, sir, we're just going to set off some charges and take a look. 01:12:18.969 --> 01:12:23.112 You might want to ease back a ways just in case we accidentally scratch your finish. 01:12:24.799 --> 01:12:25.980 Scratch your finish! 01:12:27.321 --> 01:12:29.703 No, because we accidentally scratch your finish! 01:12:29.863 --> 01:12:32.845 It just plonks right back into the East End at the end there. 01:12:33.326 --> 01:12:34.287 That's amazing. 01:12:34.447 --> 01:12:35.828 And well, it gets worse than that. 01:12:35.888 --> 01:12:37.249 This is the worst one I could find. 01:12:37.269 --> 01:12:37.990 Who directed this film? 01:12:38.090 --> 01:12:38.570 I don't know. 01:12:38.630 --> 01:12:39.851 I'm not sure it was directed. 01:12:39.871 --> 01:12:42.113 They just all improvised it. 01:12:42.513 --> 01:12:46.497 But here's Ray's final and most glorious attempt at being American. 01:12:47.145 --> 01:13:10.277 Who the hell shut off that charge there's a man down there anybody gonna kill that boy it's gonna be me it's gonna be me anybody gonna kill that boy it's gonna be me that is amazing so what i'm interested in uh from our american listeners is does that to an american ear sound like an american accent are millions of american cinema goers being fooled 01:13:10.757 --> 01:13:10.957 Yeah. 01:13:11.237 --> 01:13:18.262 Into thinking that Ray Winstone is an American man or is the logic, well, you know, Ray Winston, he's a big name. 01:13:18.662 --> 01:13:20.743 It doesn't matter if he's not very good, he's Ray Winston. 01:13:21.144 --> 01:13:23.825 Well, it's the power of the performance is the thing, though, isn't it? 01:13:23.845 --> 01:13:25.787 And he's very charismatic as an actor. 01:13:25.907 --> 01:13:29.069 Yeah, but fool's gold is very immersive narrative. 01:13:29.469 --> 01:13:46.046 you really want to believe that it all really happened and he just pops you out of it there does he yeah you're so just immersed in the reality of the moment to moment search for lost treasure do we know how much do we know about uh the character what ray's character 01:13:46.306 --> 01:14:06.984 not much so we know that he's american he doesn't talk about where kai broom no those are his three scenes right i i just played you everything he does in the film honestly i pretty much did he just pops up he sweat a couple of ones where he says bad words that i couldn't play well he's got kind of jaunty music playing underneath in there as well as if the whole thing's tongue in cheek a little bit yeah 01:14:07.759 --> 01:14:11.800 Because you know a film that you were talking about the other day that I went and checked out was National Treasure 2. 01:14:12.320 --> 01:14:12.620 Right. 01:14:13.480 --> 01:14:13.880 There you go. 01:14:13.900 --> 01:14:18.321 Well, that's an example of a very, very bad English accent from Nicolas Cage, but maybe purposely. 01:14:18.361 --> 01:14:19.242 Purposely, yeah. 01:14:19.542 --> 01:14:21.662 That was a funny scene, though, that he does in there. 01:14:21.722 --> 01:14:22.242 No, it wasn't. 01:14:22.482 --> 01:14:23.663 I enjoyed that film. 01:14:23.723 --> 01:14:24.803 Well, you were prepped for it. 01:14:24.923 --> 01:14:30.244 I didn't know what was going on when that... This is... Yeah, we can't go into too much detail, but if you're regular listening, you'll know what we're talking about. 01:14:30.344 --> 01:14:30.924 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:14:30.944 --> 01:14:33.825 It was on the podcast a couple of weeks ago, but I thought it was funny. 01:14:34.765 --> 01:14:35.386 Yeah, I liked it. 01:14:35.546 --> 01:14:36.406 I was chuckling away. 01:14:36.686 --> 01:14:38.187 That's amazing, Ray Winstone. 01:14:38.227 --> 01:14:38.968 What's he thinking about? 01:14:39.008 --> 01:14:41.669 That's worse than his one in The Departed, which was pretty magnified. 01:14:41.729 --> 01:14:42.229 Really? 01:14:42.289 --> 01:14:42.569 Yeah. 01:14:43.030 --> 01:14:44.731 Well, get in touch if you're American. 01:14:45.011 --> 01:14:51.314 Is that convincing at all, or do you just listen to that and think, well, that's Ray Winston making a bad semi-fist of it? 01:14:52.134 --> 01:14:53.315 Yeah, I'd love to know. 01:14:53.695 --> 01:14:57.340 Now here's a free play and this is a bit of Van Morrison. 01:14:57.680 --> 01:14:59.703 We're partial to Slice of Van. 01:14:59.963 --> 01:15:05.110 I think Van Morrison is playing tonight, in fact, up in London. 01:15:05.350 --> 01:15:07.613 Where's that lovely stately home park place? 01:15:07.633 --> 01:15:08.955 Kenwood, yeah. 01:15:09.435 --> 01:15:17.398 Somebody told me an amazing story about how Van Morrison's band used to get revenge for him, involving a bag full of harmonicas. 01:15:18.038 --> 01:15:19.539 Van Morrison popping to the loo. 01:15:19.839 --> 01:15:20.779 Do you have that story? 01:15:20.799 --> 01:15:22.300 There's loads of revolting. 01:15:22.320 --> 01:15:25.961 They do something horrible to one of the harmonicas and then wait for him to play it. 01:15:25.981 --> 01:15:28.882 You can fill in the gaps. 01:15:29.683 --> 01:15:33.224 Probably apocryphal, notoriously grumpy Van Morrison, but a genius. 01:15:33.444 --> 01:15:50.076 He's a genius, I love the man, and I'd like to dedicate this song to my friend Tony Law, wonderful stand-up comedian, and he's getting married tonight, or today in fact, to his lovely girlfriend Storm, and I wish I could be there, Tony, but unfortunately I can't because I'm moving house. 01:15:50.457 --> 01:15:53.199 Congratulations, and they're going off to see Van Morrison tonight. 01:15:53.219 --> 01:15:54.039 It's a nice name, isn't it? 01:15:54.179 --> 01:15:54.459 Yes. 01:15:54.740 --> 01:15:55.120 Storm. 01:15:55.500 --> 01:15:56.621 Storm, what's her real name? 01:15:57.041 --> 01:15:57.462 Storm! 01:15:57.722 --> 01:15:58.062 Really? 01:15:58.082 --> 01:15:58.442 Yes! 01:15:58.643 --> 01:15:59.383 What's her second name? 01:15:59.723 --> 01:16:00.004 Dribble. 01:16:02.145 --> 01:16:02.625 No, it's not. 01:16:03.006 --> 01:16:04.346 Front would be a good second name. 01:16:04.366 --> 01:16:05.307 Storm Front. 01:16:05.407 --> 01:16:05.927 Exactly. 01:16:06.047 --> 01:16:06.868 F-R-U-N-T. 01:16:07.888 --> 01:16:10.310 No, that's not her surname, but Storm... Storm Law. 01:16:10.490 --> 01:16:15.633 Listen, I'm trying to dedicate a song to Storm and Tony... She should get straight to HBO and get some kind of legal series. 01:16:15.833 --> 01:16:16.534 Storm Law. 01:16:17.834 --> 01:16:18.515 Storm Holder. 01:16:18.615 --> 01:16:18.795 What? 01:16:19.475 --> 01:16:20.616 Congratulations, chaps. 01:16:20.656 --> 01:16:24.298 I hope you have a wonderful day if you're listening, and I'd like to dedicate this song to you. 01:16:24.358 --> 01:16:27.840 Hope you enjoy Van Morrison tonight if you're going to see him at Kenwood. 01:16:27.860 --> 01:16:28.961 This is Glad Tidings. 01:16:30.842 --> 01:16:33.443 T. rex with 20th century boy from 1972. 01:16:33.724 --> 01:16:37.926 I preferred the C. C. Sputnik version. 01:16:38.226 --> 01:16:38.586 Did you? 01:16:39.126 --> 01:16:40.807 What ever happened to C. C. Sputnik? 01:16:40.827 --> 01:16:42.268 I'll tell you exactly what happened to them. 01:16:42.888 --> 01:16:48.691 Tony James is now in carbon silicon with ex-clash man. 01:16:49.832 --> 01:16:50.492 What's his name? 01:16:51.613 --> 01:16:53.053 The bloke from the clash. 01:16:53.254 --> 01:16:53.934 That was good. 01:16:54.114 --> 01:16:54.914 You nearly had it then. 01:16:54.934 --> 01:16:55.735 I nearly had it. 01:16:56.295 --> 01:16:57.776 I know exactly what is... Mick Jones. 01:16:58.177 --> 01:16:58.437 Right. 01:16:59.198 --> 01:17:10.828 And they've got a new single out, I think, and it's called something like Good Morning Here is the News or something, and the cover has got them looking ancient on the front, deliberately so, I think, as if they were news readers. 01:17:10.988 --> 01:17:11.269 Great. 01:17:11.369 --> 01:17:12.590 Thanks for answering. 01:17:12.910 --> 01:17:18.892 OK, we're going to text the nation to sleep forever now, like a kindly vet. 01:17:19.652 --> 01:17:23.534 The question was, what are the depressing and exciting things about getting back from holiday? 01:17:24.054 --> 01:17:26.515 Two more to read out, one from Victoria Seachem. 01:17:27.515 --> 01:17:33.898 And she says, Hello, I returned from a trip to Florida many years ago, laden with sweet-based gifts for our neighbours. 01:17:34.158 --> 01:17:39.980 We were all about 11, excited at the opportunity to show off all the spoils from amazing foreign lands. 01:17:40.760 --> 01:17:48.786 Imagine my disappointment to discover that in the two weeks we'd been away, Skittles had been introduced to the UK and the bored look on the faces of our neighbours. 01:17:49.267 --> 01:17:49.667 Oh, dear. 01:17:50.708 --> 01:17:54.271 It's true that there are fewer glamorous foreign brands. 01:17:54.351 --> 01:17:55.111 Yeah. 01:17:55.171 --> 01:17:57.313 They've started to unify the brands, haven't they? 01:17:57.373 --> 01:17:58.874 Like, what was that detergent one? 01:17:58.914 --> 01:18:00.335 Like, Hif or whatever? 01:18:00.355 --> 01:18:00.415 Hif. 01:18:00.736 --> 01:18:01.737 Hif became Sif. 01:18:02.557 --> 01:18:05.479 You know, Snickers and all that business everyone always goes on about. 01:18:05.700 --> 01:18:05.880 Yeah. 01:18:05.920 --> 01:18:09.943 But one of the knock-on effects of that is it makes it less exciting to go abroad. 01:18:10.143 --> 01:18:12.086 Milk duds, you don't get those in the UK, do you? 01:18:12.266 --> 01:18:13.648 No, they're an American thing. 01:18:13.708 --> 01:18:15.150 Junior mints, you don't get those either. 01:18:15.170 --> 01:18:16.412 They're still one or two goobers. 01:18:16.772 --> 01:18:17.052 Yeah. 01:18:17.072 --> 01:18:23.221 There's still one or two that you can't get in the UK, but euro-wise, it's all a bit unified in a boring way. 01:18:23.501 --> 01:18:25.804 Well, that's because of the happy world of Haribo, though, isn't it? 01:18:25.884 --> 01:18:26.445 That's true. 01:18:26.946 --> 01:18:27.246 Is it? 01:18:27.526 --> 01:18:27.687 Yeah. 01:18:28.067 --> 01:18:30.890 Haribo, they have political influence. 01:18:30.930 --> 01:18:32.452 They're big chewy tentacles. 01:18:32.832 --> 01:18:33.113 Really? 01:18:33.153 --> 01:18:34.854 They have a seat in the EU. 01:18:35.455 --> 01:18:35.816 I think. 01:18:35.876 --> 01:18:36.817 That big jelly man. 01:18:36.857 --> 01:18:41.041 Well, the place where we go on holiday in France is where the Haribo Museum actually is. 01:18:41.061 --> 01:18:45.086 You've spoken about the Haribo Museum before and God forbid we open up that can of jelly worms. 01:18:46.267 --> 01:18:50.952 And the final email is from Simon Misra. 01:18:51.032 --> 01:18:53.154 He's hungover and working in Manchester. 01:18:53.554 --> 01:18:55.136 He says, morning Adam and Jo. 01:18:55.576 --> 01:19:02.463 The best thing about returning from holiday is knowing that you're still digesting the last thing you ate from that final depressing farewell holiday meal. 01:19:02.804 --> 01:19:07.569 And you can cling to the cherished memories of it until the fodder is expelled from your system. 01:19:08.889 --> 01:19:10.990 That's a nice base one to end on, I think. 01:19:11.290 --> 01:19:13.750 Bringing things back round to the Lavi, where we live. 01:19:14.030 --> 01:19:22.912 Although usually it's a question of digesting the food that you ate on the plane, you know, and that's always a strange mixture, especially if you have a little bit of wine. 01:19:23.253 --> 01:19:29.494 There's something very peculiar about the combination of sort of wine, chocolate, and... I don't want to get into that. 01:19:29.554 --> 01:19:30.114 this area. 01:19:30.174 --> 01:19:36.058 Food that you get on a plane sometimes and it kind of shakes you around up there at 10,000 feet or whatever. 01:19:36.078 --> 01:19:36.058 10,000. 01:19:37.019 --> 01:19:38.400 And it's weird. 01:19:38.860 --> 01:19:39.120 Yeah. 01:19:39.401 --> 01:19:40.721 Are you not flying at 10,000 feet? 01:19:40.801 --> 01:19:41.782 Usually, but it isn't about 30. 01:19:42.002 --> 01:19:42.863 It's about 30. 01:19:43.063 --> 01:19:44.244 I go much lower. 01:19:45.465 --> 01:19:45.925 Much lower. 01:19:45.945 --> 01:19:47.306 Maybe it is lower to Europe. 01:19:47.326 --> 01:19:48.286 30,000 is dangerous. 01:19:48.306 --> 01:19:51.629 I don't know what kind of planes you're flying on, but that's dangerous. 01:19:51.929 --> 01:19:53.410 You're not supposed to go above 10,000. 01:19:55.351 --> 01:19:56.512 So that's the end of that. 01:19:56.692 --> 01:19:57.572 It's if anything goes wrong. 01:19:58.733 --> 01:20:00.495 You can jump out. 01:20:00.935 --> 01:20:03.137 It's safe to jump at 10,000 feet, that's true. 01:20:03.197 --> 01:20:07.220 Yeah, because your trousers open up and then they slow you down. 01:20:07.500 --> 01:20:11.263 I tell you what, if you ever do have to jump out of a plane, always jump out over Chinatown. 01:20:12.044 --> 01:20:13.565 Because of all the awnings. 01:20:13.785 --> 01:20:16.207 And they break your full one up to the next. 01:20:16.427 --> 01:20:17.808 That's the end of Text the Nation. 01:20:18.209 --> 01:20:20.751 For this week, we'll have another one next week. 01:20:21.631 --> 01:20:22.032 What now? 01:20:22.312 --> 01:20:23.373 Daddy's gone. 01:20:23.693 --> 01:20:25.234 It's Glaz Vegas time. 01:20:26.275 --> 01:20:27.056 Oh my gosh. 01:20:27.576 --> 01:20:29.237 That was more epic than I thought it was going to be. 01:20:29.257 --> 01:20:30.338 It was tiring, wasn't it? 01:20:30.458 --> 01:20:31.118 That was Glenn Vegas. 01:20:31.138 --> 01:20:32.199 That's satisfying. 01:20:32.219 --> 01:20:33.420 That's called Daddy's Gone. 01:20:34.180 --> 01:20:35.321 Sad news for everybody. 01:20:35.641 --> 01:20:42.986 It's released on the 25th of August physically, but you can download it in a metaphysical form from Sunday the 24th. 01:20:46.908 --> 01:20:48.188 I love the way you stop there. 01:20:48.608 --> 01:20:48.928 Thanks. 01:20:49.548 --> 01:20:56.670 This is Adam and Jo on BBC6 Music coming up to the last exciting breakneck 15 minutes of the show and I've got an idea Adam. 01:20:56.850 --> 01:20:57.170 Go on then. 01:20:57.670 --> 01:20:58.970 You know ID cards? 01:20:59.410 --> 01:21:00.771 Yeah, they should be compulsory. 01:21:00.951 --> 01:21:02.111 Yeah, well no, they don't work. 01:21:03.451 --> 01:21:04.071 Nothing works. 01:21:04.131 --> 01:21:06.152 The computer men can hack them and everything. 01:21:06.192 --> 01:21:06.932 It's not working. 01:21:06.992 --> 01:21:07.172 Right. 01:21:08.112 --> 01:21:09.753 So I've got a solution to the problem. 01:21:09.993 --> 01:21:10.933 What are you going to do? 01:21:11.173 --> 01:21:16.516 I think that everybody should have a unique name. 01:21:17.236 --> 01:21:17.436 Right. 01:21:17.476 --> 01:21:19.597 Now, this is already happening in the world of computers. 01:21:20.718 --> 01:21:23.039 Your online name won't be Adam Buxton, right? 01:21:23.499 --> 01:21:24.640 It's Buckles7290. 01:21:26.480 --> 01:21:26.881 Exactly. 01:21:27.321 --> 01:21:29.682 I think people should be christened with those names. 01:21:29.922 --> 01:21:30.042 Yeah. 01:21:30.222 --> 01:21:37.950 And you should have, everyone in the world should have a unique name because we're used to the idea of involving weird words and numbers in names now, right? 01:21:38.630 --> 01:21:46.298 And so you'd be christened, you know, I christened this child, wisbot44, that would happen in the church in the christening bowl. 01:21:47.539 --> 01:21:49.121 And then from then on... That's what it's called. 01:21:49.241 --> 01:21:53.125 You would be addressed by that name, and you'd also use it on all websites. 01:21:53.165 --> 01:21:58.210 The police could stop you and, you know, ask your name, and they'd know exactly who you are. 01:21:58.250 --> 01:21:59.971 You'd have a unique criminal file. 01:21:59.991 --> 01:22:00.752 What's your name, son? 01:22:00.992 --> 01:22:01.453 Where's what? 01:22:01.673 --> 01:22:02.253 Full name. 01:22:02.554 --> 01:22:03.234 Where's bot 44? 01:22:04.175 --> 01:22:04.716 Exactly. 01:22:05.356 --> 01:22:08.299 That's the end of the idea, but it's quite brilliant, don't you think? 01:22:08.419 --> 01:22:09.300 That is a good idea. 01:22:09.400 --> 01:22:12.043 Yeah, because basically, what is your online name? 01:22:12.734 --> 01:22:13.615 It's just funny one. 01:22:13.855 --> 01:22:29.906 No, I don't know because for the purposes you see I don't like the people hiding behind people of our age actually got in there quite early Yeah, I got quite a good name quite early I can't say it no cuz it'll bring me all sorts of online you mean the name that I use for like emails and stuff 01:22:29.966 --> 01:22:36.292 Yeah, well, for instance, if you log on to a new service or if you're a video gamer and you log on to an online gaming thing, you have to choose a unique name. 01:22:36.592 --> 01:22:43.638 And these days you, you know, you go through 20 or 30 before you, you can either use one of the suggested ones or you can go through 20. 01:22:43.918 --> 01:22:45.940 And the most obscure ones are always taken. 01:22:46.461 --> 01:22:51.085 You think, oh, no one's called pizza 84 mini clubman. 01:22:51.508 --> 01:22:51.868 I am. 01:22:52.548 --> 01:22:53.589 And you are, you see? 01:22:53.849 --> 01:22:56.810 See, if you wanted to use that, you had to be called Pizza 84 Mini Clubman 2. 01:22:57.310 --> 01:22:57.971 Exactly. 01:22:58.411 --> 01:23:00.732 Which word in my new world be a legitimate name? 01:23:00.852 --> 01:23:01.272 Yeah. 01:23:01.692 --> 01:23:04.473 And did I mention that this name is tattooed on your forehead? 01:23:05.674 --> 01:23:07.034 You failed to mention it. 01:23:07.054 --> 01:23:07.234 Did I? 01:23:07.534 --> 01:23:09.035 Well, that's a key ingredient as well. 01:23:09.095 --> 01:23:10.576 It's tattooed on your forehead at birth. 01:23:10.596 --> 01:23:13.497 Well, that's good because it makes the parents think harder about it. 01:23:13.517 --> 01:23:14.017 Exactly. 01:23:14.257 --> 01:23:16.198 Yeah, so Whizbot 44 would be good. 01:23:17.739 --> 01:23:19.839 Pizza man wouldn't be so good. 01:23:20.040 --> 01:23:20.960 No, that would be too long. 01:23:22.041 --> 01:23:22.801 Yeah. 01:23:22.821 --> 01:23:24.622 Have you thought about what your name would be? 01:23:24.642 --> 01:23:28.105 I do have an online name. 01:23:28.165 --> 01:23:30.807 I go by the name of Jobot sometimes. 01:23:30.847 --> 01:23:32.948 It's a mixture of Joe and Robot. 01:23:33.208 --> 01:23:34.909 Right, I like it. 01:23:34.969 --> 01:23:35.910 So I might use that one. 01:23:36.030 --> 01:23:36.711 That would be taken. 01:23:36.731 --> 01:23:38.092 I'm not the only Jobot though. 01:23:38.112 --> 01:23:40.293 I'm the only Jobot on certain things. 01:23:40.373 --> 01:23:42.294 What suffix would you use if that was taken? 01:23:42.675 --> 01:23:44.156 I'd try and not go for a number. 01:23:44.796 --> 01:23:45.016 Really? 01:23:45.036 --> 01:23:46.177 I think that'll be a bit common. 01:23:46.317 --> 01:23:47.138 Random letters? 01:23:47.518 --> 01:23:53.462 Maybe some Japanese letters, because you could use other scripts as well, other fonts. 01:23:53.602 --> 01:23:54.583 Exactly, some kanji. 01:23:54.723 --> 01:23:55.003 Yeah. 01:23:55.664 --> 01:23:57.605 And you know, so it's a good idea, don't you think? 01:23:57.785 --> 01:23:58.206 It's a brilliant idea. 01:23:58.226 --> 01:24:04.910 It's the kind of forward-thinking political idea that the current parties can't, you know, they're too stuck in the mud to come up with. 01:24:04.950 --> 01:24:07.032 I don't see Gordon Brown getting his head round a whizbox. 01:24:07.092 --> 01:24:08.353 No, it's an idea for the future. 01:24:08.573 --> 01:24:08.733 Yeah. 01:24:09.113 --> 01:24:14.595 You know, when this radio show gets bigger and we go into politics and we can start making some policy decisions. 01:24:14.615 --> 01:24:14.815 Yeah. 01:24:14.995 --> 01:24:24.498 They've told us our contract is up in October and that's one of the things we're negotiating for, is to be actually allowed to make some policy decisions for the government. 01:24:24.898 --> 01:24:25.719 Yeah. 01:24:25.779 --> 01:24:26.779 Mainly me, I think. 01:24:27.619 --> 01:24:28.560 That's a good idea. 01:24:28.580 --> 01:24:29.460 They're trying to edge you out. 01:24:29.480 --> 01:24:30.460 Mine are a bit too right-wing. 01:24:33.001 --> 01:24:33.842 Now, here's a free play. 01:24:33.862 --> 01:24:35.362 This is your choice now, Joe. 01:24:35.482 --> 01:24:37.443 Yeah, this is some Stereolab for you. 01:24:37.463 --> 01:24:41.004 They've got a new album coming up very soon, but I haven't heard it. 01:24:42.144 --> 01:24:44.505 This is from an old album. 01:24:44.525 --> 01:24:45.185 This is a classic. 01:24:45.205 --> 01:24:46.826 This is called French Disco with a K. 01:24:49.867 --> 01:24:52.089 It's a little gone a bit gothic there at the end, isn't it? 01:24:52.909 --> 01:24:55.651 Dancing around and that's what it's like in French discos. 01:24:56.071 --> 01:24:58.513 Oh, I wish I was in a French disco right now. 01:24:58.633 --> 01:25:00.394 She's with the t-shirt Sadie. 01:25:01.135 --> 01:25:04.077 The lady from from Stereolac. 01:25:04.137 --> 01:25:10.081 She's just about as adorable as it's possible to get there, isn't she? 01:25:10.121 --> 01:25:11.722 French disco is generally very sexy. 01:25:11.902 --> 01:25:14.744 I remember going to disco when I was on a French exchange. 01:25:15.884 --> 01:25:17.105 All sorts of things happened there. 01:25:17.425 --> 01:25:18.426 Did they really? 01:25:21.068 --> 01:25:22.728 Whole new world's opened up. 01:25:22.928 --> 01:25:24.529 A whole new world. 01:25:24.549 --> 01:25:27.890 A new fantastic French point of view. 01:25:28.130 --> 01:25:28.410 Yes. 01:25:28.851 --> 01:25:31.132 Okay, now that's pretty much it for our show. 01:25:31.192 --> 01:25:36.574 Ladies and gentlemen, Liz Kershaw is back with you very shortly, but we have a sad announcement to make now. 01:25:36.974 --> 01:25:45.837 This is our last show with our producer, Jude Adam, who has been with us since we joined Six Music almost a year ago now. 01:25:46.117 --> 01:25:47.158 We've tired of her. 01:25:47.638 --> 01:25:49.620 So we are going to blast her into space. 01:25:50.220 --> 01:25:53.403 Actually she's blasting herself into space, she's going to live in America. 01:25:53.683 --> 01:25:56.185 She's going to live in America where they got coke coming out of the taps. 01:25:56.265 --> 01:25:58.427 It's a superior country where people are free. 01:25:58.968 --> 01:25:59.308 Right. 01:25:59.848 --> 01:26:02.671 In America people are generally just free to do what they please. 01:26:02.691 --> 01:26:04.892 You can say what you want pretty much any time of the day. 01:26:04.912 --> 01:26:12.459 You can do what you want, you can express yourself in whatever way, which for people who live in Britain is a tantalising prospect. 01:26:12.619 --> 01:26:14.680 There's no health and safety regulations in America. 01:26:14.700 --> 01:26:15.261 The weather's nice. 01:26:15.701 --> 01:26:17.303 There's all kinds of different terrain. 01:26:17.343 --> 01:26:20.105 There's snow and hotness and coldness. 01:26:20.125 --> 01:26:21.787 You don't even have to leave the country. 01:26:22.247 --> 01:26:22.948 Free money. 01:26:22.968 --> 01:26:24.709 Amazing donuts. 01:26:24.809 --> 01:26:25.970 Amazing health. 01:26:26.070 --> 01:26:27.291 That telly's very good. 01:26:27.311 --> 01:26:28.893 It's better than Bruce television at the moment. 01:26:29.774 --> 01:26:30.134 It's good. 01:26:30.334 --> 01:26:34.458 The only downside is that you have to... It's run by lunatics. 01:26:34.478 --> 01:26:35.138 It's run by lunatics. 01:26:35.158 --> 01:26:37.680 You have to fight in completely insane wars. 01:26:38.101 --> 01:26:39.142 So if you're up for that. 01:26:39.642 --> 01:27:05.515 then you'll be sorted but Jude seriously we're gonna miss you thank you so much for taking good care of us making us sound half decent imagine what we're gonna sound like now you've gone it's a disaster fall apart hey thanks Jude we've got a little jingle for you big British castle jingle to say goodbye to you this is very emotional one of our loyal subjects is leaving the castle is her name is Jude and she's going to America all of the people of the castle wish her lots of love 01:27:10.618 --> 01:27:11.679 And that's sincere. 01:27:11.919 --> 01:27:15.862 Even if it's stationary or just some blank CDs, we'll find them. 01:27:15.963 --> 01:27:20.727 The detectors will go off and you won't be allowed to enter America at all. 01:27:20.767 --> 01:27:24.310 You'll be kept here in the whole dungeon of the big British castle. 01:27:25.110 --> 01:27:25.911 That's it for this week. 01:27:25.951 --> 01:27:26.992 Thanks very much to listening. 01:27:27.012 --> 01:27:30.094 Thanks to everybody who entered the Video Wars competition. 01:27:30.395 --> 01:27:32.176 Congratulations to our winners. 01:27:32.977 --> 01:27:33.838 Thanks for listening. 01:27:33.938 --> 01:27:38.502 Thank you most of all to Jude for all her hard work over the last year. 01:27:40.115 --> 01:27:45.901 We're gonna miss you take care, and we'll be with you again next week listeners stay tuned for Liz Kershaw. 01:27:46.082 --> 01:27:46.302 Bye