WEBVTT 00:00.563 --> 00:01.124 It'll be quiet. 00:19.428 --> 00:20.389 Are you all right, Doctor? 00:21.349 --> 00:22.410 Oh, nurse Totti. 00:23.291 --> 00:24.371 No, no. 00:24.411 --> 00:24.872 Help me. 00:25.292 --> 00:25.872 Help me. 00:26.173 --> 00:26.673 Oh, God. 00:26.853 --> 00:27.333 It's OK. 00:27.914 --> 00:28.594 I've got for that. 00:28.614 --> 00:29.795 I think we've got him stabilised again. 00:29.835 --> 00:31.576 You stepped on one of my tubes, man. 00:31.856 --> 00:32.357 Oh, sorry. 00:34.098 --> 00:36.980 My life flashed before my shingles. 00:38.741 --> 00:41.943 Dr. Sexy's back, ladies and gentlemen, but he's in terrible shape. 00:42.324 --> 00:45.726 And we've got him on life support, as you can hear. 00:45.926 --> 00:46.546 I'm sorry. 00:47.027 --> 00:48.508 I'm not speaking very clearly. 00:52.745 --> 00:55.428 And there's German and Ivy. 00:57.790 --> 01:01.613 He's from Guernsey and he's with a girl called Ivy. 01:02.014 --> 01:02.394 No. 01:02.995 --> 01:03.295 What? 01:04.076 --> 01:04.796 Is that what you're saying? 01:05.057 --> 01:07.719 No, I'm not a Guerney and I'm still very ill. 01:08.100 --> 01:10.882 Hello, this is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music. 01:10.982 --> 01:13.104 You might know that I'm very dizzy. 01:15.310 --> 01:18.775 You might know that I've had shingles recently for very early shingles. 01:18.855 --> 01:19.977 It's the pirate disease. 01:20.537 --> 01:22.220 I've been on a, I went to America. 01:22.260 --> 01:24.843 I went via galleon cause I couldn't afford the plane. 01:24.883 --> 01:27.948 I went on a, on a pirate ship, the black, black pearl. 01:28.528 --> 01:29.149 Black pearl. 01:29.390 --> 01:30.992 And I had sex with a sailor. 01:31.733 --> 01:32.734 With Mackenzie Crook. 01:32.814 --> 01:34.515 Mackenzie Crook's very attractive. 01:34.595 --> 01:35.717 I like his eye bags. 01:35.777 --> 01:36.557 They turn me on. 01:36.878 --> 01:37.118 Yeah. 01:37.799 --> 01:41.102 And I've contracted jingles and I'm only not really better. 01:41.122 --> 01:43.604 He was seduced by the fact that Mackenzie could pop his eye out. 01:43.624 --> 01:43.925 Shh, shh. 01:43.945 --> 01:45.106 That's when you talk. 01:45.486 --> 01:48.509 And he got an infected socket. 01:48.870 --> 01:50.211 I've got an infected face? 01:50.772 --> 01:51.152 Yeah. 01:51.372 --> 01:52.854 He was doing things to my face. 01:53.308 --> 01:55.009 And they've removed part of your face. 01:55.029 --> 01:56.590 They've removed part of my face. 01:59.172 --> 02:00.693 So now you've turned into John Merrick. 02:00.994 --> 02:01.734 John Merrick? 02:02.715 --> 02:06.618 I would like to see the fair. 02:07.418 --> 02:08.219 The fun fair. 02:08.779 --> 02:10.581 Would you like to music, John? 02:10.701 --> 02:12.742 I'd like some black kids. 02:12.802 --> 02:13.843 Do you like black kids? 02:14.083 --> 02:15.184 They make me happy. 02:15.204 --> 02:16.005 Oh, dear. 02:16.305 --> 02:16.425 Oh. 02:16.445 --> 02:17.226 He's in trouble. 02:17.246 --> 02:18.547 He's stepping on my tube. 02:18.667 --> 02:18.927 Quick. 02:19.047 --> 02:19.667 No, he's black kids. 02:19.828 --> 02:20.408 Get off my tube. 02:20.468 --> 02:21.008 Immediately. 02:22.670 --> 02:24.733 That's Black Kids with Hurricane Jane. 02:24.773 --> 02:26.354 Hey, this is Adam and Joe. 02:26.995 --> 02:28.456 Reunited back here on 6 Music. 02:28.476 --> 02:30.158 Joe's been away for the last couple of weeks. 02:30.679 --> 02:32.460 Ill in LA with shingles. 02:32.721 --> 02:33.361 I'd be illin'. 02:34.042 --> 02:34.763 You'd be illin'. 02:35.443 --> 02:37.726 We're not gonna play that heart monitor right through the whole show. 02:37.766 --> 02:40.669 I think that would, you know, we've turned it right down. 02:40.729 --> 02:41.149 It's fine. 02:41.169 --> 02:41.850 He's stable now. 02:42.190 --> 02:42.771 I'm better now. 02:42.851 --> 02:45.553 I get slight residual nerve pain in the jaw. 02:45.793 --> 02:46.634 So how was it, man? 02:46.654 --> 02:47.755 Have you been... It was very painful. 02:47.775 --> 02:48.696 You've been through Helen back? 02:48.716 --> 02:50.237 Yeah, I've been through Helen back. 02:50.477 --> 02:51.618 Ooh, lucky Helen. 02:51.758 --> 02:52.199 But you know what? 02:52.259 --> 02:54.701 I've got a shingles presentation to make later in the show. 02:54.721 --> 02:55.321 Fantastic. 02:55.341 --> 02:55.942 What kind of thing? 02:56.262 --> 02:59.405 It's a pictorial presentation just to show you the progress of the disease. 02:59.545 --> 03:01.507 Because I think you might think I was lying. 03:01.967 --> 03:02.207 No. 03:02.488 --> 03:05.250 I thought you might have thought... Is that a sentence? 03:05.270 --> 03:06.271 You just wanted a holiday. 03:06.291 --> 03:07.252 That I wanted a holiday. 03:07.372 --> 03:09.173 I was in Beverly Hills. 03:10.134 --> 03:11.115 And it's nice there. 03:11.315 --> 03:13.035 Were you being treated by Michael J. Fox? 03:13.115 --> 03:13.396 Yes. 03:13.516 --> 03:14.336 Dr. Beverly Hills. 03:14.496 --> 03:15.416 Dr. Beverly Hills. 03:15.436 --> 03:15.977 Dr. Hollywood. 03:16.557 --> 03:17.277 I think you mean. 03:17.377 --> 03:18.678 Yeah, who was Dr. Beverly Hills? 03:19.118 --> 03:19.438 Nobody. 03:19.658 --> 03:20.039 No one. 03:20.439 --> 03:23.460 Oh no, that's a show about surgery. 03:23.560 --> 03:23.840 Yes. 03:24.240 --> 03:27.442 So no, but I was treated by some very sophisticated American doctors. 03:27.722 --> 03:31.504 And because the exchange rate is so low, you know, the dollar's worth nothing. 03:31.704 --> 03:31.864 Yeah. 03:32.424 --> 03:33.866 top-wack medical treatment. 03:34.006 --> 03:34.267 Right. 03:34.487 --> 03:35.949 Yeah, I just put it on the credit card. 03:36.049 --> 03:40.114 In fact, you could have got some, you know, cosmetic surgery as well. 03:40.134 --> 03:40.855 I was thinking of that. 03:40.995 --> 03:41.215 Yeah. 03:41.235 --> 03:43.037 I was thinking of getting my teeth done, seriously. 03:43.518 --> 03:44.319 What's wrong with your teeth? 03:44.740 --> 03:46.001 Well, they just could be whiter. 03:46.101 --> 03:47.443 Why would you start with your teeth? 03:48.904 --> 03:51.065 Because you get the teeth right and everything else falls into place. 03:51.085 --> 03:52.166 Right, right. 03:52.266 --> 03:54.167 Anyway, I'm going to do that shingles presentation later. 03:54.407 --> 03:56.888 I'm not going to put the shingles photos on the web though. 03:57.149 --> 03:57.889 Why, they're too shocking. 03:57.969 --> 03:58.729 They're too shocking. 03:58.870 --> 04:02.812 I'm going to rely on your verbal portrait of the pictures. 04:02.832 --> 04:04.433 Dr. Buckles will explain in medical terms. 04:04.453 --> 04:07.234 That's what good radio's all about, painting pictures with words. 04:07.374 --> 04:11.857 Also, it's about talking completely. 04:12.177 --> 04:35.089 rubbish and we're going to be doing that with words two hours and 50 minutes here on BBC six music we've got great music coming up on music six music music and in fact this next track is one of your selections isn't it is this is one I was listening to in the car driving around I love cars yeah and this is a good song I've forgotten how good this is it's got the most ridiculous lyrics and possibly the history of pop this is Adam Ant with Apollo 9 04:35.709 --> 04:40.734 Adam Ant being involved with NASA's... I mean, they're gonna go for Mars next, aren't they, famously? 04:40.775 --> 04:45.399 They're done with the moon, they've realised it's just a big lump of cheese, so they're heading to Mars now. 04:46.020 --> 04:47.121 And Adam Ant might be involved. 04:47.542 --> 04:48.943 He's heading up the programme. 04:49.023 --> 04:49.304 Is he? 04:49.604 --> 04:55.130 He's one of the main advisors because... He's the style advisor, the style consultant for the NASA Mars mission. 04:55.450 --> 05:12.150 Yeah, because these days image is more important than substance and they have to speak like they have to sort of say Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-d 05:16.275 --> 05:20.138 That was at the tail end of Adam's kind of the most glittering part of his path. 05:20.218 --> 05:24.522 As I remember it, obviously Stan and Deliver and Prince Charming were massive hits. 05:24.722 --> 05:27.425 Notice how I say Prince Charming as if singing the song. 05:27.545 --> 05:28.946 Yeah, they were huge hits, weren't they? 05:28.986 --> 05:30.808 Yeah, you've got to say Ridicule as well. 05:30.888 --> 05:34.050 Yeah, he ruled as zeitgeist, particularly with the nonsense lyrics. 05:34.131 --> 05:35.031 Dan diddly-qua-qua? 05:35.332 --> 05:36.693 Yes, what diddly-qua-qua? 05:37.053 --> 05:38.855 What does Dan diddly-qua-qua mean? 05:39.395 --> 05:40.536 Dun-diddly-qua-qua? 05:40.956 --> 05:42.197 Dun-diddly-qua-qua? 05:43.078 --> 05:45.159 Yeah, it's similar to yabba-yabba-ding-ding. 05:45.899 --> 05:46.340 Is it? 05:47.320 --> 05:49.862 There's a whole Argot, an adamant Argot. 05:49.902 --> 05:51.003 That's why he got sectioned. 05:51.263 --> 05:54.645 Yes, because he was too much of a... He was singing his own song. 05:54.665 --> 05:55.746 They thought he was mad. 05:56.226 --> 05:58.308 Dun-diddly-qua-qua-yabba-dabba-ding-ding. 05:58.488 --> 05:58.788 Come on. 05:59.569 --> 06:00.209 Off to the nutbox. 06:00.229 --> 06:00.769 Here you go. 06:01.630 --> 06:03.751 But he was the best dressed man in Pop though, wasn't he? 06:03.912 --> 06:05.212 Oh, he was a terribly handsome man. 06:06.493 --> 06:08.795 There was something strange though about the Spaceman image. 06:09.655 --> 06:35.230 was there you didn't quite fit as well as the pirate one no it was all because he was all like the the high women and the pirate there was a pirate one in McLaren there was the space one in McLaren one because the pirate one was apparently invented by Mike Martin what's his name stinky McLaren stinky McLaren what's his first name Malcolm Malcolm that's right talke he wasn't around at that point I don't think no for Apollo 9 anyway that's a good song that anything that's an absolute smash it's maybe not the one I would have chosen other 06:35.831 --> 06:50.525 the obvious choice from Adam and we have a trail hmm was he that's sounded like some sort of a school disco that was group of our mother that is that they're the funky pirates in the groove armada 06:50.765 --> 06:52.607 That sounded very early 90s though, didn't it? 06:52.707 --> 06:53.327 I think it was. 06:53.347 --> 06:53.728 Was it? 06:53.768 --> 06:54.508 Is that an old one? 06:54.668 --> 06:55.049 Surely. 06:55.269 --> 06:57.911 If everybody looked the same by Groove Armada, that was. 06:58.512 --> 06:59.973 What a fantastic sound. 07:00.393 --> 07:00.814 Great sound. 07:00.954 --> 07:01.654 It's a great sound. 07:01.874 --> 07:02.535 I'm obsessed. 07:02.635 --> 07:03.356 It's from 1999. 07:03.396 --> 07:04.397 There we go. 07:04.417 --> 07:04.397 1989. 07:04.657 --> 07:04.977 Really? 07:05.257 --> 07:05.478 Yeah. 07:05.698 --> 07:07.019 That's what it was all like in them days. 07:07.900 --> 07:08.640 Fat Boy Slim. 07:09.141 --> 07:09.841 Back in them days. 07:09.881 --> 07:10.222 Back in the 90s. 07:10.422 --> 07:11.262 The Beat Nuts. 07:11.963 --> 07:12.704 The beat nuts. 07:12.744 --> 07:13.484 The mix bag. 07:13.985 --> 07:15.726 This is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music. 07:15.966 --> 07:23.652 I got absolutely soaked coming into work this morning because I was on my bike and I looked out and it was a little grey but I thought no I'll be fine. 07:24.153 --> 07:24.933 So I started cycling. 07:24.953 --> 07:25.754 You saw a little grey? 07:25.774 --> 07:33.200 Yeah it was a little grey alien man and I cycled out five minutes in the heavens open I'm absolutely drenched. 07:33.220 --> 07:35.081 I haven't opened and a little grey came down. 07:35.281 --> 07:35.601 Yes. 07:36.181 --> 07:37.522 And I got absolutely soaked. 07:37.902 --> 07:43.445 And so it rained as hard as it possibly could have rained for half an hour while I was on my bike. 07:43.465 --> 07:44.466 So I caught every single drop. 07:44.486 --> 07:53.650 Do you ever think like, if you're, do you ever, you know, consider whether it's better to run in the rain or stay still because the raindrops will hit, like more of the raindrops will hit you if you run. 07:53.730 --> 07:54.811 Well, I walked from the tube. 07:55.471 --> 07:55.691 Right. 07:55.791 --> 07:57.891 And I did that thing where you run under awnings. 07:57.911 --> 07:58.892 Yeah, that's the best way to deal with it. 07:58.912 --> 08:00.192 Or bits of architecture that stick out. 08:00.232 --> 08:02.592 But then you get the fatter drops, the chubby rain. 08:02.792 --> 08:03.452 Chubby rain. 08:03.912 --> 08:04.253 Don't you? 08:04.473 --> 08:04.773 Yeah. 08:04.913 --> 08:10.434 So the right side of your body might be dry, but the left side has chubby rain impacts on it. 08:10.454 --> 08:15.614 You'll get the constant stream of the stuff that collects on the awnings and just comes down in a flume. 08:15.654 --> 08:16.595 So is it a fair trade-off? 08:16.835 --> 08:17.315 I don't know. 08:17.335 --> 08:20.995 Apparently, if you walk or run fast enough, you can dodge the raindrops. 08:21.055 --> 08:21.936 Well, that's what I'm saying. 08:22.176 --> 08:22.496 Yeah. 08:22.776 --> 08:24.136 Like Keanu Reeves and The Matrix. 08:24.736 --> 08:25.257 That's good. 08:25.417 --> 08:26.998 He does dodge a little bit. 08:27.039 --> 08:28.240 He does dodge the rain. 08:28.280 --> 08:29.902 He does dodge the rain. 08:30.162 --> 08:32.124 So I'm soaked now and I haven't got a change of clothes. 08:32.164 --> 08:33.305 My whole routine is out the window. 08:33.325 --> 08:37.389 I left my keys behind so I had to bring my bike up through the security at the big British castle. 08:37.530 --> 08:38.330 They didn't like that. 08:38.771 --> 08:39.592 They hated that. 08:40.052 --> 08:43.394 But Claire, one of our producers here, she just made it happen. 08:43.975 --> 08:44.855 And it was great. 08:45.115 --> 08:46.877 But now I'm sat here absolutely soaked. 08:47.617 --> 08:51.400 So what I'm going to do, my plan is to go into the bathrooms, right? 08:51.760 --> 08:54.502 And just take off items of clothing during long songs. 08:55.002 --> 08:56.483 And put them under the hand dryer. 08:57.023 --> 08:57.284 Yeah? 08:57.364 --> 08:58.404 Why don't you just go nude? 08:58.965 --> 09:00.346 I could just go nude. 09:00.366 --> 09:01.767 I don't think Jude would have put you in mind. 09:01.787 --> 09:03.007 Jude wouldn't mind. 09:03.188 --> 09:04.669 She's seen that kind of thing before. 09:06.310 --> 09:07.310 But man, what about you? 09:10.332 --> 09:10.953 Would you like it? 09:11.673 --> 09:12.234 I wouldn't mind. 09:12.254 --> 09:13.555 I'm a bloke, you know. 09:13.635 --> 09:16.537 We've never been nude in front of each other, I don't think, have we? 09:18.259 --> 09:21.161 I don't think so, but that's got you thinking, isn't it? 09:21.502 --> 09:24.144 Right, I'm gonna go off and do a... Is that something you think friends should do? 09:24.344 --> 09:24.884 I think at some point. 09:24.904 --> 09:29.528 If you're proper friends, listen, we've known each other for a while, I think we should see each other naked. 09:29.588 --> 09:29.949 Yeah. 09:30.309 --> 09:33.231 And you just strip off and stand there and have a good look at each other. 09:33.271 --> 09:34.672 Yeah, I think so. 09:36.055 --> 09:36.916 I think that would be nice. 09:37.337 --> 09:38.478 Well then we're not going to be friends. 09:38.679 --> 09:42.804 Well we've known each other for what since we were... Yeah but it's good to have a little area of mystery. 09:42.864 --> 09:43.705 How long have we known each other? 09:43.745 --> 09:44.366 A Bermuda Triangle. 09:44.907 --> 09:46.549 Like almost 30 years we've known each other. 09:46.569 --> 09:48.492 I've never seen you completely nude. 09:48.532 --> 09:49.152 I think that's a shame. 09:49.172 --> 09:49.873 That's not a bad thing. 09:50.074 --> 09:51.175 I'd like to see what you're made of. 09:53.577 --> 09:54.898 Here's Ida Maria right now. 09:55.038 --> 09:55.298 Pork. 09:55.998 --> 10:01.380 And this, coincidentally, purely coincidentally, is called I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked. 10:01.640 --> 10:03.021 That was Outcast with Miss Jackson. 10:03.041 --> 10:04.581 This is Adam and Jo on BBC6 Music. 10:04.621 --> 10:06.222 It's time for the news with Nicki Cardwell. 10:06.522 --> 10:11.884 That's De La Soul there with me, myself and I. The American Hip Hop band. 10:11.904 --> 10:15.305 They take old records and mix them together to create new sounds. 10:15.486 --> 10:16.526 It's the Daisy Age. 10:16.586 --> 10:18.387 It's also known as Hippy Hop. 10:18.667 --> 10:19.707 Hippity hoppity. 10:19.827 --> 10:21.568 It was known as Hippy Hop at one stage, remember? 10:22.028 --> 10:23.209 Hey, you know what? 10:23.809 --> 10:28.932 When hip-hop first started, you know, the Beastie Boys and all that sort of business, right? 10:29.393 --> 10:30.033 Back in the day. 10:30.133 --> 10:31.674 People said it was a fad. 10:32.194 --> 10:32.795 Did they really? 10:32.855 --> 10:35.857 Indie people who were into guitar music, they said, oh, that's a fad. 10:36.197 --> 10:36.897 It's gonna go. 10:37.337 --> 10:39.499 Last weekend at Glastonbury, hip-hop won. 10:39.959 --> 10:41.880 Hip-hop officially won, didn't it? 10:42.381 --> 10:45.242 Well, they've won for a long time in the money stakes, obviously. 10:45.442 --> 10:45.683 Yeah. 10:46.443 --> 10:47.885 But culturally, that was it. 10:47.925 --> 10:51.008 Last weekend, Jay-Z's triumphant performance at Glastonbury. 10:51.088 --> 10:51.649 Did you watch it? 10:52.009 --> 10:52.810 I did watch it, yeah. 10:52.950 --> 10:54.292 How much of the coverage did you watch? 10:54.992 --> 10:55.693 Not much, actually. 10:56.274 --> 10:57.835 You didn't see Winehouse going in there? 10:57.915 --> 10:58.536 No, I didn't. 10:58.596 --> 10:59.457 I saw the photos. 11:00.458 --> 11:01.599 It was amazing. 11:02.280 --> 11:04.102 I mean, it wasn't amazing. 11:04.122 --> 11:04.643 That's the death 11:05.163 --> 11:07.545 Well, she sort of does sort of soul music, doesn't she? 11:07.565 --> 11:08.466 She can bounce back. 11:08.726 --> 11:10.087 It's not going to affect Winehouse. 11:10.148 --> 11:12.369 It's all just another day at the office for Winehouse. 11:12.610 --> 11:13.150 True, isn't it? 11:13.190 --> 11:22.258 You know, I mean, I wish the footage had been a little clearer because you didn't actually see any punches connecting, but you certainly saw that she was getting in there and having a good little lunge. 11:22.318 --> 11:23.339 Do we know who she punched? 11:23.499 --> 11:29.505 Yeah, we do, because the BBC, I don't know, maybe it wasn't the big British castle, but someone found the bloke that she punched. 11:29.925 --> 11:31.667 He turned out to be a really nice guy. 11:32.507 --> 11:36.991 And he was very articulate, and he said he was completely cool about it. 11:37.011 --> 11:37.972 What did he do to deserve it? 11:38.613 --> 11:41.556 Well, the guy behind him, he claims, lobbed a hat. 11:41.996 --> 11:42.436 A hat? 11:42.556 --> 11:44.498 And, you know, was it Oddjob's hat? 11:44.758 --> 11:46.880 It was no... Did it have a razor-sharp brim? 11:46.900 --> 11:50.784 Didn't even have a steel rim in order to slice off the beehive. 11:50.824 --> 11:51.805 Hats can be very dangerous. 11:51.825 --> 11:55.128 It was just a kind of pork pie hat of the sort worn by... Was it a witch's hat? 11:55.188 --> 11:56.789 Because they're pointy, they can get you in the eye. 11:56.950 --> 11:59.492 No, it was one of the, um, what's his name? 11:59.652 --> 12:02.354 Blake, uh, Fedda Seville hats. 12:02.694 --> 12:02.955 Yeah? 12:03.375 --> 12:04.036 Do you know those hats? 12:04.296 --> 12:07.759 Those kind of little straw pork pie things people are wearing. 12:07.879 --> 12:08.139 Right. 12:08.259 --> 12:13.263 And maybe that's the reason she got so furious about it, because suddenly she gets the Blake hat lobbed at her. 12:13.463 --> 12:15.966 They can be spiky if one of the bits of straw is sticking out. 12:16.166 --> 12:16.926 That's true, yeah. 12:16.946 --> 12:17.367 Dangerous. 12:17.507 --> 12:18.368 Could get it in your eye. 12:19.028 --> 12:23.191 And so maybe, and that just seemed to enrage her that someone would lob a Blake hat at her. 12:23.211 --> 12:24.312 She's got a very sensitive head. 12:24.532 --> 12:29.075 So she lunged out at the person that she thought had lobbed the hat. 12:29.555 --> 12:31.556 But it was the wrong guy. 12:31.576 --> 12:36.760 And anyway, so he was interviewed the next day by a BBC guy. 12:37.120 --> 12:42.023 And the BBC interviewer was trying to wind him up and saying, are you going to sue her for criminal damage? 12:42.043 --> 12:43.965 Because you've been assaulted by a pop star. 12:44.565 --> 12:48.608 And you know, everybody thinks she's out of control anyway, and now she's punching fans. 12:48.848 --> 12:49.589 gonna do about it." 12:49.969 --> 12:57.816 And the guy was saying, no, come on, it's Glastonbury, it's fine, it's all part of the experience, you get shoved around, you get punched by Winehouse, everyone goes home happy. 12:58.137 --> 12:58.877 What a lovely chap. 12:59.078 --> 13:01.980 He was really nice I thought though, I mean that's the right attitude isn't it? 13:02.060 --> 13:05.524 That is the right attitude, he should be excited and flattered, I want to be punched by Winehouse. 13:05.604 --> 13:06.725 Well that was his attitude as well. 13:06.745 --> 13:07.646 Let's go and provoke her. 13:07.826 --> 13:08.126 How bad. 13:09.031 --> 13:10.932 How can we get punched by Winehouse? 13:11.072 --> 13:11.772 Surely quite easily. 13:11.792 --> 13:13.072 She's got a very fiery temper. 13:13.112 --> 13:17.693 I've come across people who've met her before and one word out of place and she'll start lashing out. 13:17.713 --> 13:18.254 Really? 13:18.334 --> 13:19.594 Just hide her crack pipe. 13:20.614 --> 13:21.535 That's what really gets her going. 13:21.715 --> 13:23.095 Send her in an absolute rake. 13:23.455 --> 13:24.996 Where's my crack pipe? 13:25.036 --> 13:25.856 Where's your pussy? 13:25.996 --> 13:28.597 I told you I was putting back in my crack pipe drawer. 13:28.617 --> 13:29.537 Who has moved it? 13:30.397 --> 13:33.118 It's label, there isn't even a label on the drawer! 13:33.258 --> 13:33.778 How about this? 13:33.818 --> 13:34.599 That doesn't happen! 13:34.639 --> 13:35.079 How about this? 13:35.499 --> 13:37.220 Leave the pipe, but hide the crack. 13:38.000 --> 13:40.741 So she's got, or leave the crack and hide the pipe. 13:41.321 --> 13:42.542 Right, one or the other. 13:42.562 --> 13:44.062 She wouldn't mind, she'd just eat the crack. 13:44.523 --> 13:44.963 Would she? 13:45.683 --> 13:46.745 She just pop it in her sandwich. 13:46.765 --> 13:47.846 She'd stuff it up her nose. 13:50.309 --> 13:51.611 This is pure conjecture. 13:51.831 --> 13:52.793 She doesn't touch the stuff. 13:53.133 --> 13:54.154 There was nothing in that pipe. 13:54.235 --> 13:54.996 It's the mere air. 13:55.016 --> 13:56.297 Pure conjecture show. 13:56.337 --> 13:57.319 Three hours of pure conjecture. 13:57.339 --> 13:58.660 She was actually blowing soap bubbles. 13:58.741 --> 13:59.862 At the big British castle. 13:59.902 --> 14:01.444 You know one of those pipes that blow bubbles? 14:01.624 --> 14:01.905 Yes. 14:01.945 --> 14:02.886 That's what she was doing. 14:02.986 --> 14:03.407 Like Captain 14:03.527 --> 14:08.089 Yeah, but they took the photo before a lovely big bubble had come out and people got the wrong end of the stick. 14:08.329 --> 14:09.709 Well, the footage is on YouTube. 14:09.869 --> 14:13.210 It's worth having a look at for a little exciting Winehouse action. 14:13.490 --> 14:15.911 And boy, she was really singing a blinder as well. 14:15.991 --> 14:18.692 I heard she was confused and delirious. 14:18.732 --> 14:19.492 Yeah, that's correct. 14:20.333 --> 14:20.613 Really? 14:20.633 --> 14:22.413 But I heard her singing was good. 14:22.673 --> 14:23.114 Oh, no. 14:27.483 --> 14:28.143 That's what it was like. 14:28.183 --> 14:28.384 Wow. 14:28.684 --> 14:34.667 The thing, the frightening thing is, what will the next generation of pop stars have to do to beat that kind of ramshack velocity? 14:35.308 --> 14:37.829 Well, it's, I mean, it's been done in the olden days. 14:37.849 --> 14:38.149 Has it? 14:38.209 --> 14:41.091 Iggy Pop used to roll around in bottles until he was bloody for goodness sake. 14:41.111 --> 14:41.551 Sid Viscus? 14:41.811 --> 14:42.452 Sid Viscus? 14:42.612 --> 14:43.953 Yeah, Kurt Cobain? 14:44.673 --> 14:47.295 It's the great rock and roll tradition of self-harm. 14:47.795 --> 14:49.916 I mean, it's by no means great, okay, kids? 14:49.936 --> 14:50.517 It's stupid. 14:50.597 --> 14:51.437 It's stupid, all right? 14:51.457 --> 14:51.857 It's chaotic. 14:51.877 --> 14:55.680 So if there's any idiots out there thinking, oh, a nice bit of self-harm, I'll indulge in that. 14:56.559 --> 14:57.320 I mean, you're an idiot. 14:57.620 --> 14:58.240 I am an idiot. 14:58.400 --> 14:59.321 No, you're not an idiot. 14:59.421 --> 15:00.982 Oh, you're the person you were talking about. 15:01.022 --> 15:01.603 They're an idiot. 15:01.623 --> 15:03.264 I suddenly got worried that I was an idiot as well. 15:04.085 --> 15:05.205 In a way, it's true, though I am. 15:05.746 --> 15:09.669 And here is some great music for you idiots and non-idiots out there. 15:09.709 --> 15:11.370 This is MGMT with Electric Feel. 15:11.590 --> 15:14.112 MGMT with Electric Feel. 15:14.172 --> 15:16.133 Have you still not got that album yet? 15:16.253 --> 15:18.495 No, my lady partner bought that. 15:18.775 --> 15:19.075 Oh, okay. 15:19.095 --> 15:20.016 Well, I haven't really listened to it. 15:20.036 --> 15:21.137 You've got a copy in the house there. 15:21.417 --> 15:22.057 It's in the house. 15:22.197 --> 15:22.818 It's very good. 15:23.118 --> 15:23.518 Very good. 15:23.678 --> 15:23.938 Thank you. 15:23.958 --> 15:26.059 This is Adam and Joe here at BBC Six Music. 15:26.840 --> 15:29.341 Joe's been away ill a couple of weeks, and we've really missed him. 15:29.381 --> 15:30.501 It's great to have you back, man. 15:30.561 --> 15:31.002 Thanks, man. 15:31.022 --> 15:35.604 I'd like to say thank you to Garth Jennings, who did such a fantastic job filling in for me. 15:35.844 --> 15:39.166 I didn't listen to it because I was too ill, but I assume he did. 15:39.206 --> 15:40.046 He's usually brilliant. 15:40.186 --> 15:41.467 Too threatened is what you were. 15:41.647 --> 15:43.107 I was too... Yeah, I was afraid. 15:43.127 --> 15:45.909 I'm sure because people say his voice sounds a bit like mine. 15:46.569 --> 15:48.150 I'm sure he may well have been better than me. 15:49.019 --> 15:49.259 No. 15:49.339 --> 15:50.680 Apparently, I did hear his song. 15:51.240 --> 15:51.821 His song is amazing. 15:51.841 --> 15:53.081 His song was brilliant, wasn't it? 15:53.302 --> 15:54.642 I mean, that was a disgrace. 15:55.003 --> 15:56.343 It totally put us all to shame. 15:56.363 --> 15:58.284 And I was quite pleased with my effort that week as well. 15:58.384 --> 15:59.505 He doesn't know his place, does he? 15:59.525 --> 16:00.626 He's just wiped the floor with us. 16:00.646 --> 16:01.526 It was ridiculous. 16:01.626 --> 16:06.389 But listen, I've been worried that Adam Buxton and Jude, Adam, our producer, might have thought I was lying. 16:06.429 --> 16:06.549 Right. 16:08.010 --> 16:11.793 about being ill, so I brought in some pictures to show them the disease I had. 16:11.833 --> 16:22.540 Now, I'd never heard of this disease till I got it, but what happened was I got on the plane to Los Angeles immediately after the program, and I already had a bit of a fever and a slight toothache. 16:22.560 --> 16:23.721 This was exactly three weeks ago. 16:23.761 --> 16:31.125 Yeah, on the plane, the toothache started getting unreasonable, and by the time I got to Los Angeles, to my hotel room, I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep the night. 16:31.766 --> 16:34.648 So I googled, I called reception and said, do you know any dentists? 16:34.688 --> 16:36.769 They went, just dial a 1-800-DENTIST. 16:38.150 --> 16:40.772 So I did that, but there was no one open on a Saturday night or Sunday. 16:41.153 --> 16:48.339 So I googled emergency dentist, found one in Santa Monica, got in my car, put it in the sat-nav, at midnight on Saturday, drove to this dentist. 16:48.899 --> 16:49.780 There I was in his chair. 16:49.840 --> 16:50.801 He said my teeth were fine. 16:51.321 --> 16:53.043 They were the best English teeth he'd ever seen. 16:53.603 --> 16:54.124 He said that. 16:54.544 --> 16:56.866 The Americans have a thing about English teeth, quite rightly. 16:56.886 --> 16:57.506 From The Simpsons. 16:58.787 --> 17:04.012 And he said, well, it might be your nerve there, so I could give you a root canal. 17:04.432 --> 17:20.975 they love root canal the dentist he was desperate to give me a root canal i said no don't give me the root canal let me get a second opinion first it's their favorite procedure so i endured sunday went to the incredible hulk premiere with still in slight pain but it was very loud and distracting and it was good right i liked it uh that monday went to another dentist he said 17:21.596 --> 17:22.457 Uh, your teeth are fine. 17:22.737 --> 17:23.558 You've got herpes. 17:24.258 --> 17:24.418 Ooh. 17:25.039 --> 17:27.941 I look, I said, look, I don't, I'm not really a herpes kind of a guy. 17:27.961 --> 17:29.723 I just live the herpes lifestyle. 17:30.103 --> 17:31.104 I doubt it's herpes. 17:31.124 --> 17:33.046 He said, no, no, no, not that sort of herpes. 17:33.646 --> 17:37.930 A different strain of herpes that's actually the chickenpox virus that's known as shingles. 17:38.950 --> 17:42.393 Everyone who's had chicken pox, the chicken pox stays in your spine or something. 17:43.134 --> 17:53.543 And if you'll run down or something like that, or maybe just suddenly randomly, apparently it's contagious as well, not quite sure, it can reactivate and it emerges through your nervous system. 17:53.763 --> 17:55.685 Is that a medical phrase, nervous system? 17:55.925 --> 17:56.685 Nervous system. 17:56.725 --> 17:57.826 Nervous system. 17:59.646 --> 18:03.127 Apparently it hits you if you become too sexy as well. 18:03.147 --> 18:03.688 That's true. 18:03.948 --> 18:05.048 It was the doctor's sexy thing. 18:05.068 --> 18:06.008 It pushed it over the edge. 18:06.469 --> 18:10.290 I had to be de-sexified with a mutation disease, mutating disease. 18:10.790 --> 18:11.910 So I had little spots. 18:12.190 --> 18:13.031 These spots came out. 18:13.051 --> 18:14.211 So this is photo number one. 18:14.311 --> 18:15.332 Adam, you'll have to describe it. 18:15.652 --> 18:16.352 That's the spots. 18:16.892 --> 18:23.094 Ooh, right, okay, so this is... So it's tooth pain, and I'd also lost the hearing in my right ear. 18:23.114 --> 18:26.456 I did have quite a waxy build-up in there, but the hearing went. 18:26.536 --> 18:27.416 Death in the right ear. 18:27.756 --> 18:28.476 I went analogue. 18:28.536 --> 18:33.698 I went from Dolby Surround 5.1 to Binotone, you know, mono. 18:33.838 --> 18:34.759 To Brian Wilson mono. 18:34.799 --> 18:35.719 Exactly, yeah. 18:36.619 --> 18:43.842 Well, it looks as if here you've got a kind of teenaged rash, like how would you describe that? 18:44.662 --> 18:45.143 Acne rash. 18:45.163 --> 18:46.003 Just a little bit of acne. 18:46.503 --> 18:47.944 Just under the mouth area there. 18:47.965 --> 18:50.267 No pustules, just red spots and swelling on the cheek. 18:50.287 --> 18:50.807 The glands are up. 18:50.827 --> 18:51.428 The glands are up. 18:51.448 --> 18:52.208 It looks unpleasant. 18:52.248 --> 18:55.471 It looks like a sort of cross between acne and a shaving rash. 18:55.511 --> 18:56.532 Plus you've got to combine with this. 18:56.592 --> 19:00.816 A pain in my ear as if a man had put a syringe in it and was wiggling it around. 19:01.677 --> 19:02.558 Plus the tooth pain. 19:03.339 --> 19:04.079 Not very nice. 19:04.620 --> 19:05.561 A couple of days later. 19:06.857 --> 19:07.697 This is what's happened. 19:08.337 --> 19:09.118 Couple of days later. 19:09.738 --> 19:10.798 Okay, so number two. 19:10.838 --> 19:16.299 So it's really quite a big red rash you've got around your mouth, underneath your mouth there and across. 19:16.559 --> 19:23.741 It's going from right here because the nervous system, if you bisect the body, the nervous system, you know, is kind of mirrored. 19:23.761 --> 19:24.722 It never goes the full way. 19:24.742 --> 19:25.922 It stops in the middle, basically. 19:26.662 --> 19:29.665 So that's going from the nerve behind my ear to the middle of my chin. 19:29.845 --> 19:34.430 It looks like a map of all the Japanese islands on your face in red. 19:34.510 --> 19:35.431 Maybe it was a message. 19:36.272 --> 19:39.375 OK, by the next day, this is where it starts getting very bad. 19:39.435 --> 19:40.236 Next couple of days. 19:40.256 --> 19:43.520 There we are. 19:43.540 --> 19:43.580 OK. 19:43.820 --> 19:46.643 So now it looks like a map of the Andes. 19:46.983 --> 19:51.728 That's the entire right-hand side of the face, swollen, spotty and shiny. 19:52.629 --> 19:57.114 Sort of lumpy, pussy bumps coming up, because basically the virus feeds through your nerves. 19:57.134 --> 20:00.118 Sorry if anyone's eating breakfast while they're listening to this. 20:00.919 --> 20:03.482 But a little sprinkle of shingles on your complex is delicious. 20:04.382 --> 20:06.905 They might even eat in a delicious box of shingles. 20:08.026 --> 20:10.788 So at this point, you haven't made that up or anything, have you? 20:10.808 --> 20:11.148 No, no, no. 20:11.429 --> 20:17.254 It looks as if I've been attended to by Tom Savini or Dick Smith or somebody, but that's real swelling there. 20:17.394 --> 20:24.099 It looks like I've dipped my head in a bucket of bees and it felt as if I'd been hit over the head with a baseball bat. 20:24.440 --> 20:26.341 Still deaf, intense pain in the ear. 20:27.202 --> 20:31.507 And it tingles as if there's tiny little magical worms under your skin and itches like billio. 20:31.567 --> 20:33.490 That's why it's called shingles, because they're tingling. 20:33.770 --> 20:37.835 No, it's called shingles because shingles is a word for a belt and it usually comes around your waist. 20:38.055 --> 20:38.475 Oh really? 20:38.496 --> 20:40.037 Oh, that's an interesting fact. 20:40.057 --> 20:42.660 So my excuses for looking like this were, number one, I'm 18. 20:44.082 --> 20:44.623 Excuse number one. 20:44.643 --> 20:46.825 Number two, I'm playing a zombie in a film and it's lunch break. 20:46.985 --> 20:47.286 Right. 20:47.626 --> 20:49.929 Number three, I've got that disease from outbreak. 20:50.750 --> 20:52.992 And number four, I fell asleep in my Rice Krispies. 20:53.433 --> 20:55.175 That is, I mean, that's pretty hideous, isn't it? 20:55.435 --> 20:55.755 It is. 20:55.895 --> 20:57.277 It's a shame you can't put that online. 20:57.417 --> 20:58.919 I think people would like to see it. 20:59.039 --> 21:13.941 next day the swelling had gone down a bit on the next couple of days that's not too bad but the pastures started to come out and you're not allowed to touch them you got to wait for them to to crust over and harden and come off but so listeners I'm really sorry it's pretty just a pretty disgusting display 21:15.042 --> 21:16.243 And you know what? 21:16.623 --> 21:18.705 Underneath Joe's mouth there. 21:18.765 --> 21:20.846 It's completely red on his chin. 21:20.906 --> 21:21.947 And it's gone up to the lip. 21:22.027 --> 21:25.710 But there's these very white pustules like Rice Krispies. 21:25.730 --> 21:30.273 I mean, it looks like a kind of entry-level makeup job that someone's done on you. 21:30.333 --> 21:31.454 Special effects makeup. 21:31.774 --> 21:34.035 Just glue the Rice Krispies there under his mouth. 21:34.055 --> 21:34.676 That'll do the job. 21:34.696 --> 21:35.897 I did feel like the elephant man. 21:36.457 --> 21:37.818 I didn't want to be seen by anybody. 21:37.878 --> 21:40.240 LA's not a good place to be looking like that as well. 21:40.580 --> 21:44.503 I thought people maybe thought I was, as I say in a film, or getting some plastic surgery. 21:45.444 --> 21:46.705 But basically I'm fine now. 21:46.825 --> 21:47.886 I'm back to normal. 21:48.106 --> 21:48.326 Right? 21:48.447 --> 21:49.067 Look at my face. 21:49.147 --> 21:49.467 Normal. 21:49.647 --> 21:50.048 Absolutely. 21:50.068 --> 21:51.249 Still slightly numb in the chin. 21:51.369 --> 21:51.989 That's good, man. 21:52.009 --> 21:52.690 You look good. 21:52.790 --> 21:54.311 And still some twinges. 21:54.571 --> 21:54.852 You see? 21:54.872 --> 21:57.714 Because even when the poison comes out of the nerve, the nerve stays sensitive. 21:57.794 --> 21:57.974 Right. 21:58.174 --> 21:59.936 The pain can last for months afterwards. 22:00.036 --> 22:00.296 Wow. 22:00.476 --> 22:02.157 For some people it can last for years. 22:03.118 --> 22:06.121 Well, I'm glad you're in good shape and back with us anyway. 22:06.161 --> 22:06.641 Thanks, man. 22:06.881 --> 22:08.363 And you've been through the shingles barrier. 22:08.383 --> 22:09.123 That's amazing. 22:09.464 --> 22:09.944 You know what? 22:09.984 --> 22:10.845 I worked every day. 22:11.365 --> 22:11.926 I was writing. 22:11.946 --> 22:12.266 Fantastic. 22:12.746 --> 22:14.088 Every single one afternoon off. 22:14.368 --> 22:14.568 Yeah. 22:14.988 --> 22:15.429 Yeah. 22:15.469 --> 22:16.950 That's how hardcore I am. 22:16.970 --> 22:17.991 You're very hardcore. 22:18.391 --> 22:19.352 I'm glad it's cleared up though. 22:19.372 --> 22:20.113 That's disgusting. 22:20.933 --> 22:23.856 Hey, I tell you what, I put some shingles in a little bottle for you. 22:24.016 --> 22:24.376 Oh, thanks. 22:24.436 --> 22:25.357 And I'll bring it in next week. 22:25.377 --> 22:26.017 I'll have them later. 22:26.678 --> 22:28.959 Right now, here's a free play of mine. 22:29.320 --> 22:31.281 This is Flash in the Pan, you remember them? 22:31.801 --> 22:32.962 Yes, this is great, come on. 22:33.022 --> 22:34.163 Are they from Australia? 22:34.623 --> 22:34.904 Don't know. 22:35.184 --> 22:37.465 Or, I don't know, I think they were from Australia. 22:37.525 --> 22:39.247 Anyway, this is Waiting for a Train. 22:39.747 --> 22:40.768 That was The Primitives. 22:40.848 --> 22:46.552 The Primitives with Crash recorded for Andy Kershaw on Radio 1 on the 18th of June 1986. 22:47.673 --> 22:48.333 What's happening now? 22:48.353 --> 22:49.734 I'm gonna play The Sweeper! 22:49.814 --> 22:50.715 The Sweeper, yes! 22:51.315 --> 22:53.557 That was The Claxons with Golden Scans. 22:53.617 --> 22:56.459 Hey, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 22:56.839 --> 23:00.662 And it's a really kind of a miserable morning here in London Town weather-wise. 23:01.122 --> 23:06.306 London Town, 1730s, women drunk, children dirty. 23:07.086 --> 23:09.128 That's another Adam Antleric. 23:09.388 --> 23:09.929 He's a genius. 23:10.169 --> 23:11.310 That's from the song Sexy. 23:12.611 --> 23:13.632 No sex, it's called. 23:13.932 --> 23:15.694 Right, that's from one of his early albums. 23:15.734 --> 23:21.239 I always used to listen to it through my headphones, not through the stereo in case my mummy heard me listening to a song called Sex. 23:21.339 --> 23:22.240 Absolutely not. 23:22.460 --> 23:24.742 Well that was in the Malcolm McLaren era. 23:25.043 --> 23:25.863 Right, right. 23:25.883 --> 23:27.505 Because he's a revolting man as well. 23:28.526 --> 23:32.913 So listen, we should clarify the situation re-Video Wars. 23:32.973 --> 23:42.306 Yes, Video Wars is our exciting competition where we've invited you to make videos to two of our Song Wars songs, Jane's Brain or Meatballs, both chosen because of their brevity. 23:43.507 --> 23:45.609 And we have had a lot of entries. 23:46.029 --> 23:47.670 We've had close to a hundred entries. 23:48.270 --> 23:51.952 That is approximately 85 more than I thought we would have. 23:52.372 --> 23:52.893 Absolutely. 23:52.973 --> 23:55.314 And considering it's, you know, you've got to make a bit of effort to enter. 23:55.334 --> 23:58.516 You've got to pick up a camera and edit and have an idea and stuff like that. 23:58.976 --> 24:03.639 We're very, you know, pleased and flattered and excited that we've had so many entries. 24:04.199 --> 24:09.362 And I spent a lot of my recuperative time in Los Angeles on YouTube looking at them all. 24:10.042 --> 24:11.003 And there's some good ones. 24:11.063 --> 24:11.803 There's some brilliant ones. 24:11.843 --> 24:12.984 What's your favorite one so far? 24:13.004 --> 24:14.265 I couldn't possibly say that. 24:14.665 --> 24:15.625 That would be wrong to say. 24:15.685 --> 24:16.926 A few that stick in the memory then. 24:16.946 --> 24:21.708 Well, there's a very good one with sort of Kraftwerk-like men with meatball heads. 24:21.889 --> 24:22.689 Yeah. 24:22.749 --> 24:23.649 Singing in space. 24:23.990 --> 24:27.151 There are some very good animated ones. 24:27.231 --> 24:30.033 Did you see the one out in the forest where they're all grooving around? 24:30.193 --> 24:31.153 I did see the one in the forest. 24:31.374 --> 24:33.315 Somebody's filmed a whole video in IKEA. 24:34.255 --> 24:34.916 Oh, that's a good one. 24:34.956 --> 24:35.116 Yeah. 24:35.176 --> 24:35.437 Yeah. 24:35.557 --> 24:36.558 They're all sorts of different ones. 24:36.579 --> 24:38.001 Some of them are just completely abstract. 24:38.321 --> 24:39.943 There's one with just close ups of flowers. 24:40.384 --> 24:40.604 Right. 24:41.586 --> 24:46.513 And you know, so there's a massively wide range and it's today the closing date. 24:46.553 --> 24:47.514 What time today? 24:48.997 --> 24:54.302 noon today so if you still want to make a video you've got 10, 11, you've got one hour and 55 minutes to do it. 24:54.322 --> 24:55.443 It's possible. 24:55.603 --> 25:13.838 And it's very strict of course because the big British castle like many other broadcasting institutions got into trouble last year for being vague about the rules for these kind of things so it's absolutely categorical but any entry received after 12 noon today on the 5th of July will not be counted. 25:14.338 --> 25:24.664 However good it is so even if you know Wes Anderson has been slaving for the last eight months on a Video for Jane's brain. 25:25.264 --> 25:25.764 I'm sorry. 25:25.844 --> 25:39.332 It's just not gonna be eligible Wes Anderson You're gonna have to take it elsewhere And so that's it and people just upload them to the six music site is that right or they put them on YouTube and put a link on the site they 25:40.825 --> 25:42.266 Yeah, you haven't got much time there. 25:42.306 --> 25:43.987 Only one hour and 54 minutes now. 25:44.047 --> 25:50.590 And the big news is that we're going to announce the winner on the show that's broadcast on Saturday the 9th of August. 25:50.770 --> 25:58.114 Adam and I and Garth Jennings, the film director who was filling in for me for the last couple of weeks, will be viewing them all and picking a winner. 25:58.514 --> 26:00.976 And the prizes is beyond money. 26:01.716 --> 26:04.477 It's like a kind of Willy Wonka style prize, isn't it? 26:04.517 --> 26:04.717 Yeah. 26:04.757 --> 26:11.040 Here at the waffle factory, we will invite you to come and have a tour around our magic waffle factory. 26:11.060 --> 26:17.984 We'll put you in the chitchat pond and you'll get stuck in one of the crapola tubes. 26:19.505 --> 26:20.866 And all sorts of stuff will be happening. 26:20.886 --> 26:24.870 Your friend Veruca will eat one of the... I'm running out of words. 26:24.910 --> 26:26.511 Yeah, I'm impressed that you got this far. 26:26.611 --> 26:27.432 It's amazing. 26:27.452 --> 26:29.014 We'll accidentally eat some shingles. 26:29.274 --> 26:29.474 Yeah. 26:29.734 --> 26:31.756 And become a big ball of pus. 26:32.017 --> 26:35.139 And someone will try and steal the secret of the waffles. 26:35.480 --> 26:36.681 Yeah. 26:36.841 --> 26:38.202 Anyway, that's all going to happen if you win. 26:38.242 --> 26:40.184 You'll come in and join us, hang out with us for the show. 26:40.204 --> 26:41.665 Do you think we'll actually have them sitting in? 26:41.705 --> 26:42.366 We should do this. 26:42.386 --> 26:42.626 Oh, yes. 26:42.686 --> 26:44.288 And that'll be the day we see each other naked. 26:44.708 --> 26:45.829 Hey, there you go. 26:46.389 --> 26:48.030 So, come on, you know, you've got two hours. 26:48.050 --> 26:49.191 A lot can happen in two hours. 26:49.971 --> 26:50.371 Exactly. 26:50.412 --> 26:52.353 You know what films were made in less than two hours? 26:52.433 --> 26:52.693 Right. 26:52.713 --> 26:53.173 Star Wars. 26:53.413 --> 26:55.034 Star Wars was made in 45 minutes. 26:55.054 --> 26:55.575 Did you know that? 26:55.735 --> 26:58.176 The New Halt with Edward Norton was made in half an hour. 26:58.216 --> 26:58.796 Half an hour. 26:59.277 --> 27:00.077 And everything? 27:00.137 --> 27:03.359 And for 15 minutes of that they were sitting around. 27:03.379 --> 27:04.340 Lunch break. 27:04.400 --> 27:04.760 Really? 27:05.280 --> 27:06.321 That's extraordinary, isn't it? 27:06.341 --> 27:06.701 It's true. 27:06.841 --> 27:07.061 Wow. 27:07.582 --> 27:09.863 Pixar, those films, some of them are made in under five minutes. 27:10.143 --> 27:11.544 They look labor-intensive. 27:11.564 --> 27:13.285 They just have to press return on the computer. 27:13.305 --> 27:14.066 They just press return. 27:14.326 --> 27:14.947 It's a plug-in. 27:15.287 --> 27:19.850 A lot of those films, it's just a plug-in you get and you get a whole animated film out. 27:19.870 --> 27:23.153 So honestly, you're spoiled with an hour and 40 minutes or whatever it is now. 27:23.973 --> 27:24.934 So pull your finger out. 27:24.994 --> 27:26.635 Yeah, will you pull your finger out? 27:26.815 --> 27:31.219 And once again, thank you to all the, whatever it is, 97 or something people who've entered so far. 27:31.559 --> 27:32.600 That's an amazing result. 27:32.820 --> 27:35.842 Apparently, it's the greatest result ever in the history of the big British cast. 27:35.942 --> 27:39.546 It's the biggest reaction to a competition. 27:40.106 --> 27:42.709 The sort of entry to effort ratio. 27:42.789 --> 27:43.069 Yeah. 27:43.569 --> 27:46.813 Of all time for a competition called Video Wars. 27:47.213 --> 27:47.453 Wow. 27:47.573 --> 27:47.954 On 6 Means. 27:47.994 --> 27:48.795 That's actually true. 27:48.815 --> 27:49.315 That's true. 27:49.976 --> 27:53.419 Right now, here's the ting tings with Shut Up and Let Me Go. 27:53.439 --> 27:53.579 Shut up! 27:54.620 --> 27:57.283 That's the ting tings with shop and let me go. 27:57.303 --> 27:58.424 All right. 27:58.764 --> 28:02.268 Sounds very much what they sampled, um, chic there. 28:02.708 --> 28:03.209 I don't know. 28:03.889 --> 28:06.172 Or, uh, it's just a very similar guitar sound. 28:06.192 --> 28:08.554 They have maybe very, very exciting. 28:08.754 --> 28:11.857 They've meldged the seventies with this. 28:11.917 --> 28:12.138 Yeah. 28:12.158 --> 28:18.384 Uh, it's a, it's a combination of, um, um, melding and, and merging. 28:18.724 --> 28:19.065 Really? 28:19.385 --> 28:19.986 Melging. 28:20.606 --> 28:21.848 Learning so much this morning. 28:21.908 --> 28:22.348 It's true. 28:23.129 --> 28:23.810 Yes, ting tings. 28:23.990 --> 28:24.691 And shut up and let me go. 28:24.731 --> 28:27.334 I think we should launch Text-a-nation, don't you? 28:27.354 --> 28:29.336 Yeah, this is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music. 28:29.396 --> 28:33.460 It's now time for... Text-a-nation. 28:33.520 --> 28:34.581 Text, text, text. 28:34.681 --> 28:35.422 Text-a-nation. 28:35.482 --> 28:36.443 What if I don't want to? 28:36.463 --> 28:37.424 Text-a-nation. 28:37.525 --> 28:38.526 But I'm using email. 28:38.706 --> 28:39.427 Is that a problem? 28:39.467 --> 28:40.007 It doesn't matter. 28:40.047 --> 28:40.288 Text! 28:42.495 --> 28:43.535 Hey, it finally happened to me. 28:43.575 --> 28:57.121 Last weekend, I was in Glastonbury, and I was wandering around, watching Vampire Weekend, and there was a few people in the crowd who listened to the show, and as I was walking by, someone went, text the nation! 28:57.221 --> 28:58.101 Text, text, text! 28:58.121 --> 29:00.382 Couple of girls, and they took turns to say the texts. 29:01.147 --> 29:01.508 Wow. 29:01.608 --> 29:02.429 It was pretty amazing. 29:02.469 --> 29:03.190 That is amazing. 29:03.230 --> 29:04.151 I'm sorry I missed that. 29:04.211 --> 29:05.232 Yeah, it was fantastic. 29:05.492 --> 29:08.836 And then a couple of people, people were just sort of shouting random things at me. 29:08.856 --> 29:10.619 A couple of people shouted, Steven! 29:11.159 --> 29:12.501 Nice. 29:12.621 --> 29:14.263 And then someone said, Steven! 29:15.344 --> 29:15.945 Just coming! 29:16.165 --> 29:16.566 Coming! 29:16.846 --> 29:17.346 It's coming. 29:18.347 --> 29:20.788 Someone shouted, oh, have you got your toys in your bag? 29:20.808 --> 29:21.768 Oh, nice. 29:21.888 --> 29:22.108 Yeah. 29:22.208 --> 29:22.468 Yeah. 29:22.488 --> 29:24.529 There's an old school reference there. 29:25.709 --> 29:28.971 And someone shouted me box at me, which was nice. 29:29.651 --> 29:34.853 And then the guy in front of him who didn't clearly had no clue who I was just went ha ha ha. 29:36.524 --> 29:36.905 What? 29:37.145 --> 29:39.127 He didn't know who you were and just laughed at you? 29:39.147 --> 29:40.028 I don't know, I think so. 29:40.048 --> 29:41.150 Because you just look ridiculous. 29:41.170 --> 29:43.012 Yeah, but it was a sarcastic laugh. 29:43.072 --> 29:43.732 He did a sarcastic laugh. 29:43.752 --> 29:44.333 Quite right too. 29:44.393 --> 29:45.975 I hope you learnt from that. 29:45.995 --> 29:46.996 Put me in my place, yeah. 29:47.036 --> 29:48.798 I got out of the crowd fairly quickly after that. 29:49.198 --> 29:50.520 So let's, well that's exciting. 29:50.540 --> 29:51.221 I'm sorry I missed that. 29:51.241 --> 29:53.523 And we're going to be doing this show possibly from another festival, aren't we? 29:53.543 --> 29:54.724 Which is the other festival we're doing? 29:54.845 --> 29:56.046 Summer Sunday weekender. 29:56.226 --> 29:58.067 The summer, Sunday, weekend, where does that take place? 29:58.428 --> 29:58.828 Lester! 29:58.888 --> 30:05.633 Lester, so we're going to be there in a few weekends time, or maybe months time, I don't know when it starts, but yeah, that'll be fun. 30:06.094 --> 30:07.314 So listen, text the nation time. 30:07.655 --> 30:14.680 I live near a girl's secondary school, and every morning and evening they walk past my house, and they are very, they don't really care about litter. 30:15.361 --> 30:21.625 They drop a lot of crisp packets, and I spend a lot of my time when I exit and enter my house, picking this detritus up. 30:22.606 --> 30:30.737 But occasionally they drop homework, love letters, interesting things that being a sort of filthy man I have a look at. 30:30.757 --> 30:32.540 Do they really drop love letters? 30:32.680 --> 30:33.181 Sometimes. 30:33.501 --> 30:34.542 A little like handwritten notes. 30:34.883 --> 30:36.745 But one thing I picked up was this. 30:36.805 --> 30:37.727 It's an exam paper. 30:38.127 --> 30:43.009 General certificate of secondary education, June 2008, media studies, higher tier. 30:43.309 --> 30:45.750 So one of the girls dropped this exam paper. 30:46.370 --> 30:49.651 And I was curious as to what kind of thing they teach at schools these days. 30:50.111 --> 30:52.552 And it says here, the time allowed is three hours. 30:52.953 --> 30:54.813 You have to attempt all four tasks. 30:55.253 --> 30:59.335 The topic area examined in this paper is television situation comedy. 30:59.795 --> 31:01.036 And this is a real exam paper. 31:01.056 --> 31:02.136 This is a real exam. 31:02.476 --> 31:04.397 You're advised to do the tasks in the order given. 31:04.697 --> 31:06.918 You may use coloured pencils in your work. 31:07.058 --> 31:08.879 That's what they say when you work for Channel 4 as well. 31:10.000 --> 31:12.701 You're advised to use fine liners and rulers. 31:13.081 --> 31:16.443 You may make sketches and diagrams which you think will help your answers. 31:16.583 --> 31:18.463 BBC 3 only let you use crayons. 31:18.664 --> 31:19.404 Yes, they do. 31:19.484 --> 31:20.304 Very, very thick ones. 31:20.324 --> 31:20.925 Just pink ones. 31:20.945 --> 31:22.245 You're not allowed to write any words. 31:22.345 --> 31:22.985 No. 31:23.025 --> 31:23.706 Just pictures. 31:24.706 --> 31:25.587 So that's the outer page. 31:25.627 --> 31:33.230 On the inside of the page is this kind of fake letter from a production company called Pantheon Productions asking for ideas for sitcoms. 31:33.250 --> 31:38.392 We're looking for young people to take part in an exciting new project encouraging fresh talent to write for television. 31:38.712 --> 31:43.074 This is your chance to come up with new ideas for a new sitcom that we can offer to television channels. 31:43.555 --> 31:49.497 So this is to prepare the young people of today in the skills for pitching sitcoms to TV companies. 31:49.597 --> 31:52.599 And so what specific tasks are they asking you to fulfill? 31:52.619 --> 31:53.179 Task one. 31:53.439 --> 31:55.161 We want to take your ideas seriously. 31:55.341 --> 32:00.146 Show us what you know about sitcoms, tell us what their key features are and how the genre has changed over time. 32:00.186 --> 32:02.188 Don't forget to give us plenty of examples. 32:02.468 --> 32:04.350 We can forget about that, everyone knows about that. 32:05.511 --> 32:12.377 Task two is you have to argue that the sitcom hasn't died, but task three is the one we'd like to steal for Text the Nation this week. 32:12.838 --> 32:13.799 Okay, now for the pitch. 32:14.179 --> 32:16.841 Offer us your ideas for your own British sitcom. 32:17.141 --> 32:18.703 You need to give us the following details. 32:19.003 --> 32:20.164 What's the situation? 32:20.524 --> 32:22.205 What is the setting and who are the characters? 32:22.565 --> 32:23.906 Provide an appropriate title. 32:24.187 --> 32:25.307 Tell us what makes it funny. 32:25.628 --> 32:26.909 Explain who will watch it. 32:27.589 --> 32:29.451 So that's the Text the Nation task this week. 32:29.471 --> 32:31.772 We want you to think of new sitcom ideas. 32:32.013 --> 32:35.956 We want like the name of a situation, what it's called and why it's funny. 32:36.716 --> 32:37.136 That's good. 32:37.176 --> 32:38.898 I've got I've got have you got any ideas at all? 32:39.258 --> 32:43.081 No, but I think of some in the next song to crack the sitcom. 32:43.121 --> 32:50.827 That's the holy grail You know, they always say that a TV channels don't bother pitching any ideas for sitcoms to us We've already got thousands of them. 32:50.967 --> 32:54.730 Everybody pitches sitcom ideas, but how many kids would have sat this exam thousands? 32:55.050 --> 33:00.995 Yeah, you would so presumably they got this is probably sponsored by some TV channel Well, that's what I was thinking when you just cream off the idea 33:01.115 --> 33:02.155 Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. 33:02.175 --> 33:04.036 They've got to be in cahoots with a channel. 33:04.236 --> 33:04.836 Sure, oops. 33:05.616 --> 33:07.876 But not a big British castle channel because... No, no, no, no. 33:07.916 --> 33:10.217 Can you imagine the explosions that would happen? 33:10.237 --> 33:11.097 Bring the castle down. 33:11.557 --> 33:17.558 But yeah, that's, you know, if you get a good sitcom going there, and Lord knows, you know, we could do with another great one here. 33:17.638 --> 33:18.939 The IT crowd is very good. 33:19.079 --> 33:19.339 Yeah. 33:19.559 --> 33:20.819 What else is good out there at the moment? 33:20.839 --> 33:21.879 Well, Gavin and Stacey, obviously. 33:21.899 --> 33:23.220 I wouldn't call that a sitcom though, is it? 33:23.240 --> 33:24.200 It's a comedy drama. 33:24.500 --> 33:25.360 It's a dramedy. 33:25.800 --> 33:30.202 Yeah, so we need like a pure sick on the IT crowd is a good example. 33:30.222 --> 33:32.143 A setting, a group of characters and a name. 33:32.363 --> 33:33.023 Yeah. 33:33.043 --> 33:34.444 The text number is 64046. 33:35.364 --> 33:38.606 Texting your ideas, that's what we want you to do. 33:38.626 --> 33:40.887 I've got one that I'd like to share with you very soon. 33:40.947 --> 33:42.708 Really, I'm going to have a think during the next record. 33:42.848 --> 33:44.248 Oh, this is one of yours though, isn't it, John? 33:44.268 --> 33:44.608 Is it? 33:44.628 --> 33:45.989 Yeah, we used to group around to this. 33:46.029 --> 33:47.130 Man, this is terrific. 33:47.170 --> 33:49.531 This is from an early gang star album. 33:50.011 --> 33:51.512 This is an instrumental bit of hip-hop. 33:52.292 --> 33:54.453 This is called DJ Premier and Deep Concentration. 33:54.953 --> 33:55.974 Oh my gosh. 33:56.954 --> 33:57.795 What a frightful noise. 33:57.815 --> 33:58.715 What an absolute noise. 33:59.495 --> 34:02.057 That's Noel Gallagher there singing with the Chemical Brothers. 34:02.417 --> 34:04.238 We can't play the Gallaghers anymore. 34:04.338 --> 34:04.658 Why not? 34:04.758 --> 34:07.179 Because they've been squashed into the ground by Jay-Z. 34:07.580 --> 34:09.541 Why was he... No, he made a mocking fool of them. 34:10.021 --> 34:11.842 He didn't actually taunt them though, did he? 34:11.882 --> 34:12.462 He did, yeah. 34:12.542 --> 34:16.324 He played that clip of was it Noel saying that it was wrong for him to be playing at Glastonbury. 34:16.344 --> 34:18.145 That's how he opened his set by playing that video. 34:18.165 --> 34:22.067 Then he came on with a guitar around his neck and sung a mocking version of Wonderwall. 34:22.487 --> 34:23.068 Oh, did he? 34:23.088 --> 34:25.049 I didn't see any of that. 34:25.169 --> 34:26.490 Because I didn't care about hip-hop. 34:26.790 --> 34:27.110 Really? 34:28.011 --> 34:31.933 They're by resigning Oasis to the past, to history. 34:32.533 --> 34:33.274 Consigning them. 34:34.074 --> 34:35.175 Consigning them as well. 34:35.856 --> 34:37.937 They should resign because they've been consigned. 34:38.197 --> 34:39.078 Yes. 34:39.158 --> 34:39.818 That's outrageous. 34:39.999 --> 34:41.680 Did he do a fantastic set though? 34:42.301 --> 34:42.621 He did. 34:42.661 --> 34:44.923 He's in terms of live performances. 34:44.963 --> 34:48.646 He's one of the most... Because you said this before, but what's he doing up there on stage? 34:49.307 --> 34:49.687 Rapping. 34:50.247 --> 34:52.089 Did he hand out fun toot horns? 34:52.469 --> 34:53.950 He did not hand out fun toot horns. 34:53.970 --> 34:55.131 Well, what's the point of that then? 34:55.151 --> 34:55.992 You're right, you're right. 34:56.232 --> 34:59.035 But everybody got a hip-hop goodie back, including some crack. 34:59.415 --> 35:02.657 a knife and loosey because that's what hip hop's all about, right? 35:03.438 --> 35:03.718 Wrong. 35:04.159 --> 35:05.480 What a cliche. 35:05.780 --> 35:06.921 What's in the goodie bag then? 35:07.261 --> 35:07.721 A crack? 35:07.861 --> 35:09.963 A gun and a gun. 35:10.023 --> 35:11.444 Positive messages. 35:11.664 --> 35:17.308 A little bit of Afrocentricity and just some lyrical flow. 35:17.328 --> 35:17.949 And some booty. 35:18.509 --> 35:19.050 And it's all 35:19.710 --> 35:21.732 flavor and the tiny little bit of booty. 35:21.852 --> 35:22.392 Chicken flavor. 35:22.412 --> 35:24.254 Oh, that's my favorite flavor. 35:24.894 --> 35:27.336 Are we going to go back to textination for a little... Yes. 35:27.376 --> 35:29.758 Let's have a jingle to give this some sort of punctuation. 35:29.778 --> 35:29.858 Okay. 35:31.780 --> 35:32.620 Textination. 35:32.660 --> 35:33.741 Text, text, text. 35:33.841 --> 35:34.562 Textination. 35:34.642 --> 35:35.583 What if I don't want to? 35:35.843 --> 35:36.563 Textination. 35:36.663 --> 35:37.664 But I'm using email. 35:37.844 --> 35:38.565 Is that a problem? 35:38.605 --> 35:39.145 It doesn't matter. 35:39.185 --> 35:39.446 Text. 35:42.555 --> 35:43.997 Hello, my face is starting to hurt. 35:44.117 --> 35:44.377 Is it? 35:44.437 --> 35:45.298 I'm going to have a pill. 35:45.658 --> 35:49.602 Oh man, what kind of pills you got there? 35:49.882 --> 35:54.867 Amitriptyline tablets, BP 10 milligrams for oral administration. 35:54.967 --> 35:55.648 Amitriptyline. 35:56.028 --> 35:57.169 Yeah, they're anti-depressants. 35:57.369 --> 35:58.790 It's the word oral making you giggle there. 35:59.091 --> 35:59.231 No? 35:59.631 --> 36:00.572 It was a little bit, wasn't it? 36:00.812 --> 36:01.213 Not really. 36:02.774 --> 36:04.815 Okay, now listen, text the nation this week. 36:05.535 --> 36:12.538 We are asking you to come up with a sitcom, basically, inspired by this exam paper that Joe found out of his, out the front door of his house. 36:13.839 --> 36:16.880 We want you to come up with a great idea. 36:16.920 --> 36:22.903 You need to outline the situation for us, ideally some characters, where the thing is set, what sort of thing is happening. 36:22.923 --> 36:24.203 Here's an idea that I've had, right? 36:24.443 --> 36:26.844 This is not a very good idea, but I'm going to run it by you anyway. 36:27.885 --> 36:29.926 Okay, the sitcom is called Spending a Penny. 36:30.726 --> 36:31.447 I like it already. 36:31.727 --> 36:32.988 It's set in a public lavatory. 36:33.048 --> 36:33.389 Brilliant. 36:34.029 --> 36:36.712 And the lady that runs the public lavatory is called? 36:38.013 --> 36:38.734 Mrs. Pooh. 36:38.954 --> 36:40.275 She's called Penny! 36:40.416 --> 36:41.577 Penny, of course. 36:41.597 --> 36:42.598 Mrs. Pooh! 36:42.978 --> 36:43.739 It's off me. 36:44.880 --> 36:45.761 Mrs. Pooh! 36:45.821 --> 36:46.922 Well, I don't know. 36:47.242 --> 36:49.244 Her surname is Pooh. 36:49.304 --> 36:50.005 Penny Pooh. 36:50.025 --> 36:50.485 Penny Pooh. 36:50.505 --> 36:50.926 With an H. 36:51.406 --> 36:54.148 Yes, because we wouldn't be so juvenile as don't fund the other thing. 36:54.188 --> 36:56.090 No, exactly You stick your stick on in a public lavatory. 36:56.110 --> 37:08.038 You got to up the stakes a little bit pop a night a Milne And guess she loves Winnie the Pooh does she all over her little office area in the public lavatory? 37:08.058 --> 37:08.999 What do you mean by that? 37:09.079 --> 37:10.340 There's pictures of office? 37:10.640 --> 37:19.627 Well, you know that it's something you're going right area there with it with the two-way glass on them and She's got pictures of Winnie the Pooh everywhere. 37:19.647 --> 37:20.548 That's her idol. 37:20.588 --> 37:35.260 So that's how we kind of mitigate some of the scatology of the thing With with pieces important to mitigate scatology of Winnie the Pooh Here are some of her funny friends that work on a urinal in the lavatory with her Tommy tinkle 37:36.361 --> 37:45.508 He's gay and he's very camp And he says his catchphrase is this place stinks right like that. 37:46.248 --> 37:49.051 I mean he's a grotesque Caricature of a gay person. 37:49.191 --> 37:53.474 I was gonna say yeah, but here's but but then right I up the ante 37:53.914 --> 37:58.297 by having a grotesque caricature of a Jamaican person in there as well, right? 37:58.517 --> 38:03.340 Because it's fun to have all these different, very clearly delineated character stereotypes. 38:03.761 --> 38:06.483 Because in a sitcom, people don't object to that kind of thing. 38:06.523 --> 38:07.243 They embrace them. 38:07.743 --> 38:08.324 That's true. 38:09.244 --> 38:14.768 And, you know, you might watch it first and you might think, well, this is the most offensive thing I've ever seen. 38:15.188 --> 38:17.950 But half an hour later, you're chuckling and you love them. 38:18.010 --> 38:20.172 Look at extras or the work of Ricky Gervais. 38:20.612 --> 38:24.695 Well, of course, in extras, they parody the whole genre with their sitcom, within a sitcom, don't they? 38:24.715 --> 38:25.175 They do, they do. 38:25.535 --> 38:27.157 And they cover a lot of this ground. 38:27.617 --> 38:29.878 But you can't go wrong with some of those stereotypes. 38:30.719 --> 38:33.081 The groovy Jamaican attendant, he's called Billy Whiz. 38:33.601 --> 38:33.861 Right. 38:33.901 --> 38:36.683 And that's a character out of the Beano or Dandy, isn't it? 38:36.703 --> 38:39.525 Well, yeah, he maybe has pictures of that character. 38:40.826 --> 38:41.266 Right. 38:41.286 --> 38:41.907 In his office area. 38:41.927 --> 38:42.867 In his office area. 38:43.188 --> 38:46.090 And his catchphrase is, we out. 38:47.697 --> 38:48.078 What? 38:48.418 --> 38:48.999 We out. 38:49.519 --> 38:51.682 As in WEE out. 38:51.742 --> 38:52.142 Yes. 38:52.563 --> 38:53.464 What does that mean? 38:53.484 --> 38:54.325 I don't know. 38:55.206 --> 38:56.347 Oh, as in we're out of here. 38:56.507 --> 38:57.048 Exactly. 38:57.328 --> 38:57.608 Right. 38:57.949 --> 38:58.469 We out. 38:59.364 --> 38:59.624 Right. 38:59.844 --> 39:01.445 But it also has the double meaning. 39:01.465 --> 39:02.225 Yes, that's good. 39:02.585 --> 39:03.186 It's clever, isn't it? 39:04.146 --> 39:08.268 But listen, I was encouraged by the children's program, Nina and the Neurons. 39:08.288 --> 39:09.448 I don't know if you've ever seen that. 39:09.688 --> 39:09.988 No. 39:10.188 --> 39:13.990 It's on in the morning and it's a Scottish lady and it's sort of educational thing for children. 39:14.030 --> 39:18.652 And there's a cast of five animated little neuron characters they've got there. 39:19.352 --> 39:23.734 And she asks her neuron friends to help her out and explain various things. 39:24.034 --> 39:26.235 And all the neurons are from various parts of the UK. 39:26.255 --> 39:27.175 They've got regional accents. 39:27.335 --> 39:29.696 Except one of them is a groovy Jamaican neuron. 39:29.936 --> 39:30.256 Really? 39:30.296 --> 39:35.157 Yeah, and he kind of speaks like this man, for no particular discernible reason. 39:35.377 --> 39:36.877 Well, maybe because he's from Jamaica. 39:36.997 --> 39:42.099 But anyway, this is the thing that's making me encouraged about having a Jamaican character in spending a penny. 39:42.119 --> 39:43.399 So that's my idea for sitcom. 39:44.059 --> 39:48.800 Let's do mine after we hear the news, which I believe is read by Nicky Cardwell. 39:48.880 --> 39:51.581 That's the Lemonheads, of course, with Mrs. Robinson. 39:52.765 --> 39:53.326 This is Robinson. 39:53.366 --> 39:57.469 It's one of those songs that it's so, uh, you know, it's easy to do a cover of Mrs. Robinson. 39:57.489 --> 39:58.770 You can't really mess that one up. 39:58.810 --> 39:59.691 It's such a good song. 39:59.751 --> 40:00.772 She's a disgusting woman. 40:01.192 --> 40:03.614 She's, uh, she's seduced a much younger man. 40:04.134 --> 40:05.415 And that to me is disgusting. 40:05.635 --> 40:06.336 It's disgrace. 40:06.556 --> 40:11.140 It might have been acceptable in the sixties, but in this day and age, she should be putting prize on. 40:11.400 --> 40:13.962 Have you not seen notes on a scandal for goodness sake, woman? 40:13.982 --> 40:14.543 Exactly. 40:14.703 --> 40:15.483 Exactly, woman. 40:15.604 --> 40:18.346 They should remake that and, uh, it would be very different. 40:18.986 --> 40:20.027 What notes on a scandal? 40:20.227 --> 40:21.228 No, Mrs. Robinson. 40:21.268 --> 40:21.769 Oh, I see. 40:21.789 --> 40:22.809 What was it called The Graduate? 40:22.950 --> 40:23.490 The Graduate. 40:24.171 --> 40:25.372 Well, did you ever see The Graduate 2? 40:26.212 --> 40:27.473 No, there was no such a thing. 40:27.513 --> 40:28.034 It was, mate. 40:28.214 --> 40:28.574 Was there? 40:28.634 --> 40:29.255 It was a sequel. 40:29.455 --> 40:30.616 Not made by the same people. 40:30.836 --> 40:31.457 I think it was. 40:31.557 --> 40:32.958 I think it was the same guy that wrote it. 40:32.978 --> 40:33.018 No. 40:33.038 --> 40:34.779 I think he sat around. 40:35.800 --> 40:36.541 And it was a film? 40:36.821 --> 40:38.542 He was very poor. 40:38.562 --> 40:39.883 I remember reading an article about it. 40:39.903 --> 40:42.766 And then they came to him like 20 years later, and he's on his uppers. 40:43.286 --> 40:46.449 And they said, how about writing another chapter? 40:46.549 --> 40:47.890 Who played the Dustin Hoffman part? 40:47.970 --> 40:49.951 Well, it was all the... it was their children. 40:50.011 --> 40:51.471 It was the... Oh, no, you're right. 40:51.491 --> 40:51.971 I do remember. 40:51.991 --> 40:52.971 It was quite recent, wasn't it? 40:52.991 --> 40:53.311 Yeah, yeah. 40:53.351 --> 40:54.832 Yeah, and it wasn't called The Graduate Two. 40:54.872 --> 40:55.672 It had a different name. 40:55.772 --> 40:56.072 No, yeah. 40:56.092 --> 40:58.313 In fact, they tried to pretend that it wasn't The Graduate Two. 40:58.433 --> 40:58.913 That's right. 40:59.333 --> 40:59.873 Yeah. 40:59.893 --> 41:02.054 We'll find out more about it, maybe, from our factory. 41:02.094 --> 41:02.194 Yes. 41:02.214 --> 41:04.154 Can we have a jingle so we know where we are? 41:04.314 --> 41:04.494 What? 41:06.455 --> 41:07.275 Text-a-nation. 41:07.315 --> 41:08.395 Text, text, text. 41:08.495 --> 41:09.256 Text-a-nation. 41:09.316 --> 41:10.276 What if I don't want to? 41:10.516 --> 41:11.236 Text-a-nation. 41:11.356 --> 41:12.336 But I'm using email. 41:12.496 --> 41:13.237 Is that a problem? 41:13.277 --> 41:13.817 It doesn't matter. 41:13.857 --> 41:14.097 Text! 41:16.513 --> 41:21.535 As per the General Certificate of Secondary Education exam for June 2008, media studies higher tier, the sheet for which I picked up in the street outside my house. 41:35.339 --> 41:37.660 Now, we've already had Adam's toilet-based idea. 41:37.940 --> 41:38.681 Spending a penny. 41:38.841 --> 41:39.581 Spending a penny. 41:40.081 --> 41:42.943 And my idea is called Keeping Up With The Joneses. 41:44.043 --> 41:47.505 And it's based in a house which belongs to David Bowie. 41:47.725 --> 41:51.767 And inside the house live all David Bowie's different incarnations. 41:52.067 --> 41:54.468 Now we should say that we have actually spoken about this idea before. 41:54.488 --> 41:56.449 Yeah, this is an old idea that I've just dusted off. 41:57.789 --> 41:59.910 But it's a smash, it's a really good idea, this one. 41:59.930 --> 42:01.331 We still think this could be a goer. 42:01.351 --> 42:09.314 So all the different incarnations live in a big house, Aladdin's Seine, and the Thin White Duke, and Blue Jean, what was the Blue Jean guy called? 42:09.755 --> 42:10.855 Screaming Lord Byron. 42:11.055 --> 42:12.636 Screaming Lord Byron. 42:13.256 --> 42:17.458 And the original David Jones from before he started doing his incarnations. 42:17.478 --> 42:18.339 Who else could be in there? 42:18.539 --> 42:21.120 David Jones from the King Bees or the Conrad's. 42:22.140 --> 42:24.481 And these are all in separate people, they all walk around. 42:24.501 --> 42:25.482 Well Ziggy started, did you mention him? 42:26.082 --> 42:37.230 uh no he's obviously and he rules the roost man that's that's uh one two three four that's five and they're all separate individuals aren't they yeah and they've got they argue with each other and they've got a pet 42:38.143 --> 42:38.924 Well, who's their pet? 42:39.024 --> 42:39.825 A diamond dog. 42:39.985 --> 42:43.187 The little diamond dog, of course, with Bowie's head on it. 42:43.468 --> 42:43.988 Exactly. 42:44.008 --> 42:44.228 Yeah. 42:44.509 --> 42:46.991 It runs around and they just have little domestic disputes. 42:47.051 --> 42:48.492 It's a bit like some mothers do have them. 42:48.652 --> 42:48.872 Yeah. 42:49.053 --> 42:50.534 You know, one of them leaves the bath running. 42:50.554 --> 42:51.355 It overflows. 42:51.955 --> 42:59.202 It dribbles through the floor onto the Cluedo board because Aladdin Sane and Screaming Lord Byron are playing Cluedo. 42:59.742 --> 43:01.964 And that all sets off an episode. 43:02.024 --> 43:04.206 And the Thin White Duke is incredibly fastidious. 43:04.426 --> 43:06.367 Yes, he's like Monica in Friends. 43:06.407 --> 43:11.369 He runs around with a pinion in a kind of coke frenzy the whole time, trying to clean everything up. 43:11.709 --> 43:19.632 And they all have the same catchphrase, which is... And whenever they do anything, the only sound effect is... 43:23.953 --> 43:27.777 Which is the noise that we came up with a while back for just like, to encapsulate Bowie. 43:28.017 --> 43:30.819 That's Bowie's first words as a baby. 43:31.580 --> 43:36.584 That's true, there are gnomes as well, in the cupboards. 43:36.644 --> 43:37.885 There's the gnomes in the cupboards. 43:37.925 --> 43:39.366 You cut away to the gnomes. 43:39.666 --> 43:43.530 And we thought maybe his neighbour, who would his neighbour be like, Mark Bolan or something? 43:43.550 --> 43:46.852 I mean it's a little bit like House of Rock, do you remember that show that used to be on? 43:46.992 --> 43:47.613 Better than that though. 43:47.853 --> 44:06.124 surely yeah the cartoon yeah yeah yeah I know it's difficult to be better but I'm being ambitious that was all kinds of different dead rock stars living in a yeah no this is specifically just Bowie this is just incarnations of Bowie and only Bowie incarnate like what about the glass spider one what was his own he didn't really have a name I think maybe he was just called the Pratt 44:06.724 --> 44:07.025 Right. 44:07.225 --> 44:09.147 That's the big boss. 44:09.187 --> 44:16.056 What about if characters that Bowie played in films could come in, like Tesla could come in as a cameo for one episode out of the Prestige? 44:16.176 --> 44:18.539 Well, who was his art terrorist character? 44:18.740 --> 44:20.842 Maybe they're electricity short circuits. 44:21.283 --> 44:23.105 So they call an electrician and it's Tesla. 44:23.766 --> 44:24.427 He comes round. 44:24.567 --> 44:24.887 Yes. 44:24.987 --> 44:25.247 Yes. 44:25.527 --> 44:28.329 And he played Pontius Pilate, of course. 44:29.090 --> 44:29.350 Right. 44:29.390 --> 44:30.050 He also played. 44:30.090 --> 44:32.692 He could be the guy from Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence, Mr. Lawrence. 44:32.712 --> 44:33.393 Jack Zellias. 44:33.733 --> 44:34.553 What a funny face. 44:35.034 --> 44:35.894 But beautiful eyes. 44:36.435 --> 44:37.395 Yeah, he could come round. 44:38.156 --> 44:40.817 And oh, there's I mean, there's there's so many myriad. 44:40.857 --> 44:42.639 What the guy from Absolute Beginners. 44:42.899 --> 44:51.985 We should tell you also listeners that once we actually pitched this idea in Los Angeles in a big office in Comedy Central. 44:52.365 --> 44:53.246 This was years and years ago. 44:53.806 --> 44:54.567 Lipknits. 44:54.807 --> 44:57.068 She was called Jane Lipschitz, I think she was called. 44:57.709 --> 45:00.951 And we went into a big office there, Comedy Central. 45:01.131 --> 45:04.273 This is when we were really hot in the olden days. 45:04.973 --> 45:07.675 And they said, what ideas have you guys got? 45:07.695 --> 45:09.836 And we pitched them our toy-based ideas. 45:09.856 --> 45:10.717 They didn't go for that one. 45:12.078 --> 45:14.459 And that took five minutes for them to give that the thumbs down. 45:14.479 --> 45:15.420 And we thought they were going to go for it. 45:15.780 --> 45:18.722 So out of desperation, we pitched them keeping up with the Joneses. 45:19.122 --> 45:21.062 Never seen a more baffled woman in my life. 45:21.523 --> 45:22.363 Ten baffled people. 45:23.023 --> 45:26.684 I mean, they were absolutely... But we still think it's a good idea, it's a goer. 45:26.744 --> 45:29.865 So that's our second idea for a sitcom, Keeping Up With The Joneses. 45:29.925 --> 45:31.265 Keep your ideas coming in on 64046. 45:33.445 --> 45:34.866 But now here's more music. 45:34.926 --> 45:37.126 This is The Verve with Love Is Noise. 45:37.386 --> 45:38.827 What's the new one from The Verve? 45:39.067 --> 45:40.187 Love Is Noise. 45:40.567 --> 45:43.868 And they've got a special noise going on right the way through that, haven't they? 45:43.888 --> 45:47.549 They've kind of imprinted that track with a strange effect. 45:47.749 --> 45:48.449 With the love noise. 45:50.990 --> 45:51.710 Right the way through. 45:51.730 --> 45:52.771 That's the love noise. 45:53.071 --> 46:00.354 Because sometimes, you know, I'm not suggesting that the rest of the tune is weak, but I'm saying that sometimes if you shut up and make the noise again. 46:00.374 --> 46:05.497 That's what Richard Ascroft does when he's in the throes of Passione. 46:05.537 --> 46:06.037 Oh God. 46:13.040 --> 46:13.580 Oh God. 46:13.600 --> 46:15.021 It's not Harry Met Sally, you know. 46:15.101 --> 46:16.481 Saturday morning for goodness sake. 46:16.501 --> 46:17.221 This young family's listening. 46:17.241 --> 46:18.502 What do you think that noise denotes? 46:18.562 --> 46:19.322 It's a love noise. 46:19.462 --> 46:20.662 I just love you. 46:20.722 --> 46:21.563 That's not the love noise. 46:21.583 --> 46:22.263 This is the love noise. 46:22.523 --> 46:28.805 Do that again, Dr. Sexy. 46:29.365 --> 46:30.305 You're disturbing me. 46:30.925 --> 46:37.447 Now look, I've got to make an uncomfortable segue now into talking about my children when they're playing video games. 46:37.567 --> 46:37.667 Sorry. 46:37.687 --> 46:37.787 Sorry. 46:41.148 --> 46:42.970 Sorry, but that was just, it had to be done. 46:43.150 --> 46:43.831 No, it didn't really. 46:44.271 --> 46:53.039 But yeah, it's getting a little bit out of hand in our house because they've got way into, I mean, we sort of wheeled out my old PlayStation, we were talking about this a few weeks back on the show. 46:53.059 --> 46:54.941 Yes, I hear that you only let them play on Sundays. 46:55.342 --> 46:55.982 Yeah, weekends. 46:56.002 --> 46:56.823 Video games, yeah. 46:57.123 --> 46:59.425 Saturdays and Sundays, like, not during school. 46:59.506 --> 47:00.887 And this is the Wii they're playing on. 47:01.207 --> 47:02.668 Well, they're playing on the old PlayStation. 47:02.688 --> 47:04.669 They're playing Bomberman on there, which they're enjoying. 47:04.689 --> 47:05.290 It's a classic. 47:05.310 --> 47:06.090 You can't really beat it. 47:06.771 --> 47:10.033 And it's also good for young children to get their heads around very easily. 47:10.073 --> 47:11.254 No, you can't beat it. 47:11.274 --> 47:12.295 You can't beat Bomberman. 47:12.335 --> 47:12.975 Call of Duty. 47:13.135 --> 47:13.916 No. 47:14.276 --> 47:14.976 It's no Bomberman. 47:15.817 --> 47:24.943 But also they're playing the Wii, of course, which, as you pointed out to me before, is the video game console designed for people who have never really owned a video game console before. 47:24.983 --> 47:25.804 It's sort of aimed at the 47:26.304 --> 47:32.067 non-video playing market, and it's certainly hit its target in my two young sons. 47:32.547 --> 47:37.689 They're absolutely obsessed by it, so we've got to really ration their gameplay, because they're becoming nutty, you know? 47:37.990 --> 47:47.254 And they absolutely, as soon as I say, okay, you can play one hour of Wii before bed, and that's it, and they go completely nuts, and they're running around going, yes, yes, the Wii, the Wii! 47:47.294 --> 47:49.155 And they start wheeling out their catchphrases. 47:49.175 --> 47:50.295 You're going down, Pop Pop! 47:50.515 --> 47:52.797 In fact, I managed to record Natty actually saying it. 47:52.837 --> 47:53.617 Let's see if we can hear it. 47:56.026 --> 47:58.827 That's a nice little laugh afterwards. 47:58.927 --> 48:02.568 That's why he was jumping up and down, he's actually playing Bomberman at that stage. 48:03.228 --> 48:13.712 But if they get completely wrapped up in it, and Frank, especially my oldest son, he becomes completely transported when they're playing Star Wars Lego and stuff. 48:13.732 --> 48:14.693 He gets so into it. 48:15.753 --> 48:38.027 He just goes a bit nuts right and some and then when we have to switch it off and say right it's bedtime He completely loses the plot sometimes just starts jumping around it becomes like super nanny in our house You know really crying and tantrum eyes a little bit of tantrums like if the parameters are clearly established at the beginning like okay It's 10 minutes and that's it and you're going to bed and no whining then it's fine But sometimes we forget to lay down the parameters properly. 48:38.387 --> 48:39.828 We're like, okay, that's it bedtime now. 48:39.848 --> 48:39.888 No 48:41.223 --> 48:57.313 he freaks out and it's a nightmare and we had to talk with him the other day Frank yes no good you're not gonna be able to play the thing if you if we're gonna have the whole tantrum that work and he yeah he said I'm sorry daddy I just when I'm playing I just can't help myself hmm 48:58.433 --> 49:21.286 with sweet it's true but he gets completely wrapped up in it to the extent that right and this story does not reflect too well on on Paul Frank so please don't repeat it to him if you come across him in the street he's standing there playing the Wii and at the end of it at the end of his game he he goes up to bed and he just looks at me and he says dad I'm gonna need some new PJ's I'm afraid he took the whole Wii situation too literally 49:21.946 --> 49:29.092 And he was so obsessed with his game that there was no question to take a toilet break that he was going to have a little peepee break. 49:29.633 --> 49:31.634 He decided to take it while he was standing there gaming. 49:31.655 --> 49:32.715 Does he know about pausing? 49:33.436 --> 49:34.397 No, not yet. 49:34.677 --> 49:37.780 But I mean, that is the hallmark of a true gamer. 49:37.840 --> 49:38.360 That's true. 49:38.400 --> 49:39.521 That must happen to you, surely. 49:39.601 --> 49:42.284 It's like in the South Park World of Warcraft episode. 49:42.324 --> 49:43.064 Have you seen that episode? 49:43.104 --> 49:43.244 No. 49:43.985 --> 49:45.006 Well you can pause. 49:45.526 --> 49:47.568 Usually the start button freezes the game. 49:47.748 --> 49:50.170 But you can't pause when you're right in the middle of a laser fight. 49:51.291 --> 49:52.192 Technically you can. 49:52.532 --> 49:55.175 Technically you can, but... But no, that shows commitment. 49:55.215 --> 49:59.578 And it's true, even in an adult, video games do get you on some kind of weird hypnotic level. 49:59.719 --> 49:59.939 Yeah. 50:00.399 --> 50:20.394 very good ones really compulsive what you need you know i saw in a magazine the other day a thing called a stadium pal which is kind of like a um what do you call it when a colostomy colostomy bag for gig goers so if you want to go down right into the center of the mosh pit there and and you know you've pushed your way right to the front of the massive festival crowd or whatever 50:20.834 --> 50:23.455 and yet you're there for two hours, what are you going to do if you want a wee wee? 50:23.935 --> 50:26.495 You have the stadium power with you. 50:26.555 --> 50:34.517 Actually, it's designed for sports fans more than anything who go to games and they want to stand and just watch the game without having to take a toilet break. 50:34.757 --> 50:41.338 But I was thinking it would be good for gigs as well, although dangerous, because if you get bumped up against, then it goes everywhere. 50:41.578 --> 50:43.439 But it would also be great for gamers, surely. 50:43.539 --> 50:46.259 Your family has a sort of a bladder thing going on there, doesn't it? 50:46.539 --> 50:49.460 Your dad used to have one of those things when we used to go and film with him. 50:49.560 --> 50:49.760 What? 50:50.220 --> 51:15.651 he had a special thing to do a Wii and when you if you were driving I was very impressed by it oh yeah well you can buy you can buy all sorts of things with a very wide neck like a bottle yeah because some people you know if you're on a long trip it's like dum and dumber you start filling up the bottles there uh if you're on you know what that I think Frank should be in an advert for the Wii because that would be the ultimate commercial that's what I was thinking exactly it's so addictive you'll Wii 51:16.741 --> 51:17.281 There you go. 51:17.382 --> 51:19.763 I mean, that nine line needs a bit of work. 51:20.083 --> 51:20.844 I don't think it does. 51:20.864 --> 51:22.585 I think it's completely fully formed. 51:22.645 --> 51:23.146 It's there. 51:23.906 --> 51:26.048 OK, here's a free choice for you right now, listeners. 51:26.128 --> 51:30.271 This is a tune that I'm sure six music listeners will be familiar with. 51:30.731 --> 51:34.154 But it's I mean, I've had this album for years and years and years, never mind by Nirvana. 51:34.614 --> 51:36.376 But it's never been that close to my heart. 51:36.456 --> 51:40.200 In fact, for years and years, I always thought the Foo Fighters were probably a little bit better. 51:40.300 --> 51:41.602 You know, I enjoyed their work more. 51:42.042 --> 51:48.329 But recently, only 20 years after the fact, I've suddenly come to realise it's really quite a good album. 51:48.870 --> 51:53.515 And Lithium, which I'm going to play you now, is just one of the many great tracks on it. 51:53.535 --> 51:54.396 So here's Nirvana. 51:54.656 --> 51:58.360 There you go, that is Hot Chip recorded live for Gideon Co. 51:58.380 --> 52:02.245 That was one of the six music sessions from the Hub on the 5th of February 2006. 52:02.285 --> 52:07.030 They were playing over and over, of course, and at the end they were just making it up as they went along. 52:07.070 --> 52:10.735 There's Wibbles and the Wobbles on their electronic keyboards there. 52:11.115 --> 52:11.896 But it's fantastic stuff. 52:11.916 --> 52:12.316 The Wibblies. 52:12.717 --> 52:15.320 The Wibbles, the Wiggles, the Wongles. 52:15.580 --> 52:16.541 Don't you remember the Wibblies? 52:16.861 --> 52:17.361 Who are the Wibblies? 52:17.381 --> 52:17.901 The Wibblies. 52:18.101 --> 52:19.042 They wrote National Treasure 2. 52:19.242 --> 52:20.923 Oh, the Wibblies. 52:20.943 --> 52:22.644 They drive in a car with triangular wheels. 52:23.004 --> 52:24.345 No, I don't remember the Wibblies. 52:24.405 --> 52:25.645 I still haven't seen National Treasure 2. 52:25.685 --> 52:28.247 I've got to go out and get that sat on DVD now. 52:28.307 --> 52:28.727 No, you don't. 52:29.307 --> 52:30.228 You sold it to me. 52:30.268 --> 52:32.369 No way does anybody have to go and get that film. 52:32.389 --> 52:32.889 You sold it to me. 52:32.929 --> 52:33.850 It sounded wickles. 52:34.330 --> 52:36.871 It will not wiggle, it will bockels. 52:37.772 --> 52:41.213 I want to get some film and DVD recommendations from you later on. 52:41.493 --> 52:41.933 Okay. 52:42.213 --> 52:45.175 But right now, let's return to Text-o-Nation. 52:45.235 --> 52:47.156 Have we had any ideas coming in from our listeners? 52:47.176 --> 52:49.377 I can't talk about Text-o-Nation till I hear this! 52:51.618 --> 52:52.458 Text-o-Nation! 52:52.498 --> 52:52.778 Text! 52:52.858 --> 52:53.138 Text! 52:53.198 --> 52:53.558 Text! 52:53.658 --> 52:54.419 Text-o-Nation! 52:54.459 --> 52:55.459 What if I don't want to? 52:55.679 --> 52:56.400 Text-o-Nation! 52:56.500 --> 52:57.500 But I'm using email. 52:57.680 --> 52:58.420 Is that a problem? 52:58.440 --> 52:58.981 It doesn't matter! 52:59.021 --> 52:59.241 Text! 53:01.823 --> 53:08.790 First of all, I should say that somebody pointed out that we forgot the greatest Bowie incarnation in our idea for a sitcom, keeping up with the Joneses, which is the Goblin King from Labyrinth. 53:08.870 --> 53:09.630 Of course! 53:09.991 --> 53:11.552 Who is always juggling babies. 53:11.892 --> 53:12.593 That's right. 53:12.633 --> 53:13.174 All times. 53:13.854 --> 53:16.136 Juggling babies and arranging his packet. 53:17.199 --> 53:19.060 Yes, giant goblin packet. 53:19.620 --> 53:21.241 OK, here are some ideas for sitcoms. 53:21.301 --> 53:27.564 So these basically can these are sort of everyone's entry for the exam paper that I picked up. 53:27.584 --> 53:32.866 The media studies higher tier exam for June 2008 that asks you to invent a sitcom. 53:33.146 --> 53:40.089 So Adam, I'd like you to be a sort of invigilator, an examiner, and I'd like you to grade these entries as if you were grading. 53:40.249 --> 53:40.970 What is this now? 53:41.030 --> 53:41.890 GCSEs. 53:42.410 --> 53:43.871 How GCSEs graded? 53:43.911 --> 53:45.792 Would they used to be with A's and B's and C's? 53:46.172 --> 53:56.616 A star A B C D. They were even thinking of having like a triple star or something so because everyone was getting such high grades they needed a new system. 53:56.736 --> 54:00.158 It's disgusting exams and worthless sprints but it's completely dumbed down. 54:00.178 --> 54:00.798 We're totally dumbed down. 54:00.818 --> 54:01.779 Brit's gone PC mad. 54:01.819 --> 54:02.999 We're completely PC mad. 54:03.019 --> 54:03.959 What's wrong with being racist? 54:04.080 --> 54:05.080 In the old days, what? 54:05.360 --> 54:05.680 What? 54:06.100 --> 54:07.321 I don't know. 54:07.481 --> 54:08.902 Okay, so here's entry number one. 54:09.402 --> 54:10.902 Ebony, this is from Zoya, Newcastle. 54:11.022 --> 54:11.743 Ebony and Ivory. 54:12.603 --> 54:14.603 Two friends, a girl and a boy, move into a house. 54:14.643 --> 54:15.404 They meet their neighbours. 54:15.464 --> 54:16.924 On one side lives Stevie Wonder. 54:17.284 --> 54:18.944 On the other side, Paul McCartney. 54:19.124 --> 54:21.165 Hey, well, this is just like keeping up with the Joneses, isn't it? 54:21.225 --> 54:22.225 Yeah, that's no bad thing. 54:22.745 --> 54:25.026 Stevie's a laid-back guy, whereas Paul's quite grumpy. 54:25.086 --> 54:27.546 Ironically, they don't get on with hilarious consequences. 54:27.866 --> 54:30.847 The friends get on with both and have to try and help them live in harmony. 54:30.887 --> 54:34.408 In one episode, Stevie's pet rabbit escapes and eats Paul's prize cabbages. 54:34.968 --> 54:35.968 We all learn something. 54:36.008 --> 54:38.549 The theme tune features Ebony and Ivory being sung quite angrily. 54:39.949 --> 54:42.711 Um, Stevie and Paul McCartney. 54:42.751 --> 54:46.634 It's quite good, but I mean, I don't think we should fixate on the whole famous people thing. 54:46.654 --> 54:47.575 You couldn't get them, could you? 54:47.875 --> 54:48.795 I don't think so. 54:49.316 --> 54:52.858 You'd probably get Macca, but Wanda is still busy. 54:53.138 --> 54:53.418 Great. 54:54.359 --> 54:56.821 I would give that a B. Fair enough. 54:57.401 --> 54:59.603 A B. Just a solid B. No, a B plus. 54:59.623 --> 55:00.343 A B plus? 55:00.363 --> 55:02.505 Because it's, she's thought about, is it a she? 55:03.065 --> 55:03.365 Yes. 55:03.565 --> 55:09.630 She's thought about it and it's nice, there's some nice ideas in there, but I don't think it's doable. 55:09.670 --> 55:13.492 Did you read about the kid who just wrote F off on their exam? 55:14.073 --> 55:14.473 No. 55:14.693 --> 55:15.914 And still got some marks? 55:16.254 --> 55:16.935 No. 55:16.955 --> 55:18.096 Just for being able to write. 55:18.236 --> 55:18.656 What did he get? 55:18.676 --> 55:23.759 An F. And apparently they said if he'd put an exclamation mark after he would have got more points. 55:24.840 --> 55:25.481 That's not true. 55:25.501 --> 55:25.801 It's true. 55:25.821 --> 55:26.501 It's in the paper. 55:26.521 --> 55:27.102 It must be true. 55:27.582 --> 55:28.282 Here's another one. 55:29.003 --> 55:30.504 I don't know who this is from. 55:30.584 --> 55:31.224 I'll find out. 55:31.344 --> 55:43.752 But this is from somebody who says, the name of my sitcom is called Knit This, where a craggy ex-con called Hector Pearl is told to join a knitting club as part of his parole. 55:44.213 --> 55:47.375 The club's mostly made up of women of various stereotypes. 55:47.575 --> 55:47.795 Good. 55:48.135 --> 55:51.918 And possibly one very camp man called Ernest, whose catchphrase is, 55:53.900 --> 55:55.741 Will you cast me on? 55:55.801 --> 55:56.842 Is that a knitting phrase? 55:57.002 --> 55:57.162 Yeah. 55:57.743 --> 56:04.528 Hilarity ensues as he persuades them to knit a blanket for his mates still in prison while secretly altering the patterns to incorporate escape maps. 56:04.948 --> 56:05.969 Hey, like Prison Break. 56:06.309 --> 56:08.771 Like the film, you know, uh, Knitting and Looms. 56:08.831 --> 56:10.092 It's from Emily in Stress and This. 56:10.592 --> 56:11.192 Sorry, Emily. 56:12.113 --> 56:13.533 Looms are very fashionable right now. 56:13.553 --> 56:18.296 If you've seen the film Wanted, with James McAvoy and what's... Oh, big lips. 56:18.316 --> 56:20.077 Fishlips, McFarland. 56:20.317 --> 56:23.038 Giant, Tina, McFarland. 56:23.158 --> 56:24.659 Angelina Joualet. 56:24.959 --> 56:25.959 Angelina Jolie. 56:25.999 --> 56:26.460 That's the name. 56:26.480 --> 56:28.361 The most beautiful lady in the world. 56:30.082 --> 56:34.825 If you've seen that film, that's all to do with an ancient loom, and you can sort of read the stitches. 56:34.845 --> 56:38.267 The stitches are in a binary code. 56:38.347 --> 56:39.408 Oh, for goodness sake. 56:39.428 --> 56:41.129 Oh, for God's sake. 56:41.189 --> 56:43.130 What's it all coming to? 56:43.390 --> 56:43.891 Oh, dear. 56:43.991 --> 56:46.933 Anyway, so that makes Emily's idea very, very au courant. 56:47.073 --> 56:47.393 I like that. 56:47.413 --> 56:48.093 And I think that's good. 56:48.294 --> 56:48.614 You know what? 56:48.674 --> 56:49.895 I think that's an idea for a film. 56:50.706 --> 56:53.930 not a sitcom necessarily, even though the sitcom could spin off the film. 56:54.230 --> 56:56.272 I like the idea of a big grizzly ex-con. 56:56.312 --> 56:59.055 It's a bit like The Lady Killers joining a knitting circle. 56:59.375 --> 57:00.517 Knitting's very fashionable. 57:00.857 --> 57:04.201 That kind of counterpoint, you know, violence with naffness is very British. 57:04.962 --> 57:05.722 I think that's good. 57:05.822 --> 57:11.148 Because for a sitcom, you're supposed to, everything is supposed to end at the end of the episode. 57:11.188 --> 57:11.809 It all resolves. 57:11.889 --> 57:12.770 It's the status quo. 57:12.830 --> 57:33.812 is resolved exactly it's got to be maintained you can't you're not supposed to have like a story art that goes now people are gonna send us ideas with status quo in them yeah then each week the status quo would be resolved it would be good here's another sorry I just thought obviously the music sorry you could do the theme could be by knitting sawny for that nice it's not that nice thank you and good night 57:35.214 --> 57:36.635 Here's another one from somebody. 57:36.835 --> 57:39.575 Again, they haven't put their name, but Jude may be able to figure it out. 57:40.596 --> 57:42.857 Their sitcom idea is called Before Blobby. 57:43.737 --> 57:45.817 I'm a big fan of Mr Blobby, as you know. 57:46.458 --> 57:49.559 And this is a sitcom based on the early life of Blobby. 57:49.939 --> 57:51.639 The story before Blobby made it. 57:52.079 --> 57:53.220 Growing up incompetent. 57:53.860 --> 57:55.922 Did you know that that Mr Blobby was from Compton? 57:56.022 --> 57:56.963 Was he in America? 57:57.423 --> 58:03.268 He came from the brutal heart of gang LA, gangland. 58:05.069 --> 58:06.871 Before Blobby made it, he was growing up in Compton. 58:06.891 --> 58:08.192 He plays tennis with them. 58:08.512 --> 58:10.133 This is just complete gibberish. 58:10.454 --> 58:14.057 I don't know why I started reading this, but I'm going to have to finish it now. 58:14.737 --> 58:21.143 Made it growing up in Compton, he plays tennis with them sisters but he gets into drugs and gets arrested where he ends up meeting Noel Edmonds. 58:21.523 --> 58:25.907 Not talked about, secret son who he protects from being... bummed? 58:26.688 --> 58:27.169 Burned? 58:27.529 --> 58:28.109 Not sure. 58:28.450 --> 58:33.995 He then arranges for Blobby to escape, spelt with an A, with the aid of Noel and his helicopter and the rest is history. 58:36.331 --> 58:37.932 Look at the BBC 3. 58:38.352 --> 58:40.013 That's exactly the kind of pitch they like. 58:40.134 --> 58:40.434 Yes. 58:41.054 --> 58:44.276 You're so young and hip, you can't even speak or think. 58:44.897 --> 58:45.217 Yes. 58:45.497 --> 58:49.620 Well, what was the thing they did on BBC 3 with all the kind of Jamie Hewlett characters recently? 58:49.860 --> 58:51.121 Oh, Foo Action. 58:51.161 --> 58:51.941 Yeah, that's coming back. 58:52.001 --> 58:53.162 That's been commissioned for a series. 58:53.182 --> 58:53.623 There you go. 58:53.663 --> 58:54.623 So what's wrong with Blobby? 58:54.643 --> 58:55.744 They'll have Blobby, surely. 58:55.944 --> 58:56.725 That's a good idea. 58:56.745 --> 58:58.066 I'm just trying to figure out who that's from. 58:58.766 --> 58:59.787 The no-name. 58:59.847 --> 59:01.248 But that's very good. 59:01.348 --> 59:04.070 I mean, I think it probably exhausted him writing all that, let alone his name. 59:04.090 --> 59:05.991 I just love the way the eyes jiggle around. 59:06.491 --> 59:07.032 on Blobby. 59:07.672 --> 59:14.877 There's two things I love about Blobby, the jiggly eyes, the bow tie and the fact that it's an RSC trained actor inside. 59:14.917 --> 59:16.258 Always, always loved that. 59:16.298 --> 59:20.120 Listen, shall we have some more music and we'll hear some more sitcom ideas shortly. 59:20.621 --> 59:23.823 This is Glass Vegas right now with Geraldine. 59:23.983 --> 59:25.884 That's Glass Vegas with Geraldine. 59:26.124 --> 59:28.406 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 59:29.346 --> 59:36.151 Joe, I was just thinking like of all the people to play the late great Tony Hancock, why would you choose Will Smith? 59:37.392 --> 59:37.632 What? 59:38.192 --> 59:39.533 I mean, it just seems insane. 59:39.993 --> 59:40.513 Oh, I see. 59:40.954 --> 59:41.794 Now I understand. 59:42.655 --> 59:43.735 Well, you're confused. 59:44.496 --> 59:46.197 It's not a film about Tony Hancock. 59:46.577 --> 59:46.777 What? 59:47.337 --> 59:49.118 It's a film about a superhero. 59:49.479 --> 59:49.599 Oh. 59:52.360 --> 59:52.840 Is that it? 59:53.721 --> 59:54.261 Is that it? 59:54.521 --> 59:54.842 Yeah. 59:55.942 --> 59:58.824 No, it's not as if it doesn't have... Have you seen Hancock? 59:59.124 --> 59:59.504 You know what? 59:59.524 --> 01:00:00.845 It's the one film I haven't seen. 01:00:00.885 --> 01:00:01.826 Does it last half an hour? 01:00:04.198 --> 01:00:05.719 Apparently it's only good for half an hour. 01:00:06.000 --> 01:00:11.023 People say it takes a big narrative twist half an hour in and it goes very wonkazoid. 01:00:11.263 --> 01:00:11.824 I'm sure. 01:00:11.964 --> 01:00:13.745 I mean that looks like a load of torture. 01:00:13.825 --> 01:00:14.666 I think it looks good. 01:00:14.706 --> 01:00:15.206 No, you're insane. 01:00:15.226 --> 01:00:16.467 I thought the trailer looked good. 01:00:16.507 --> 01:00:18.369 Are you friends with Will Smith now as well or something? 01:00:18.389 --> 01:00:18.829 Possibly. 01:00:18.849 --> 01:00:20.550 Big Willy style. 01:00:20.610 --> 01:00:23.633 We can't slag off any more movie stars now because you're friends with all of them. 01:00:24.253 --> 01:00:27.135 But that doesn't look... I think it looks good. 01:00:27.275 --> 01:00:27.956 For half an hour. 01:00:28.096 --> 01:00:30.978 I like the idea of like a superhero who's a bum. 01:00:31.298 --> 01:00:31.519 Right. 01:00:32.119 --> 01:00:34.842 And I like the look of Will Smith with really chapped, dry lips. 01:00:35.443 --> 01:00:35.783 Yeah. 01:00:36.044 --> 01:00:37.745 You know, that hasn't been done in movies before. 01:00:37.806 --> 01:00:38.626 Very dry lips. 01:00:38.967 --> 01:00:39.868 Very dry lips. 01:00:40.268 --> 01:00:41.850 Imagine Angelina Jolie doing that. 01:00:41.970 --> 01:00:42.591 Ooh, dear. 01:00:42.671 --> 01:00:43.071 Oh, lordy. 01:00:43.112 --> 01:00:43.552 Crikey. 01:00:43.712 --> 01:00:45.755 Have you ever seen, um, Gothicca? 01:00:47.577 --> 01:00:49.038 No, that's her stupid, is she? 01:00:49.098 --> 01:00:51.541 No, that's Halle Berry in a stupid sort of serial killer film. 01:00:51.581 --> 01:00:52.762 I haven't, I've avoided that one. 01:00:52.843 --> 01:00:54.124 Hey, LaBrie, she's in that one. 01:00:54.144 --> 01:00:56.867 I avoid films where the title is written out of scratching. 01:00:57.648 --> 01:00:59.250 Scratching of insane nails. 01:01:00.051 --> 01:01:01.332 It's never a good sign for me. 01:01:01.352 --> 01:01:02.013 Exactly. 01:01:02.073 --> 01:01:06.074 And while I was ill though, go and see almost every film available in the Los Angeles area. 01:01:06.094 --> 01:01:06.894 So you saw The Hulk? 01:01:07.295 --> 01:01:08.055 I saw Oonk. 01:01:08.215 --> 01:01:09.175 I saw Oonk twice. 01:01:09.255 --> 01:01:12.856 I saw The Hulk at the premiere with loads of people from Marvel and ILM there. 01:01:13.256 --> 01:01:18.638 And it's weird seeing a film with the people who worked on it because they applaud things that normal audiences wouldn't applaud. 01:01:19.038 --> 01:01:24.620 Like if somebody's, if the door of a house has been beautifully graded to turn it from blue to blue. 01:01:26.500 --> 01:01:27.140 Awesome! 01:01:27.260 --> 01:01:27.680 Like that. 01:01:28.060 --> 01:01:29.921 You don't know what they're applauding half the time. 01:01:30.301 --> 01:01:36.002 You know they're applauding a particularly convincing looking moist area of hulk thigh or something like that. 01:01:36.322 --> 01:01:37.302 I enjoyed the hulk a lot. 01:01:37.462 --> 01:01:37.882 Did you? 01:01:38.162 --> 01:01:38.802 Yeah. 01:01:39.082 --> 01:01:40.323 You were a fan of the first one though, right? 01:01:40.343 --> 01:01:40.943 The Ang Lee one? 01:01:41.063 --> 01:01:41.203 Yeah. 01:01:41.483 --> 01:01:42.083 I mean that was good. 01:01:42.103 --> 01:01:43.203 Is this better or worse than that? 01:01:43.223 --> 01:01:43.963 It's very different. 01:01:44.223 --> 01:01:48.544 It's made less money, weirdly, the new one, even though it's more... less intellectual. 01:01:48.704 --> 01:01:49.444 It's more pace-y. 01:01:49.584 --> 01:01:49.964 Yeah. 01:01:49.984 --> 01:01:51.185 Oh, it's really good, the new one. 01:01:52.165 --> 01:01:53.365 And I also saw Wanted. 01:01:54.125 --> 01:02:00.552 That's a film about people who can fire guns and the bullets go in a curve. 01:02:01.252 --> 01:02:01.513 What? 01:02:01.753 --> 01:02:01.993 Yes. 01:02:02.714 --> 01:02:04.155 That's the main innovation of it. 01:02:04.195 --> 01:02:05.517 The bullets go in a curve. 01:02:05.617 --> 01:02:08.880 In case that's not enough there's also a lot of stabbing and hitting. 01:02:09.120 --> 01:02:10.181 It's a nasty film. 01:02:10.582 --> 01:02:11.923 Why do they go round corners? 01:02:11.943 --> 01:02:13.685 Because no one's done it before. 01:02:13.965 --> 01:02:14.245 Yes. 01:02:14.626 --> 01:02:18.029 And also, because they can do with the CGI, they can do it. 01:02:18.249 --> 01:02:19.991 Can they turn quite sharp corners? 01:02:20.251 --> 01:02:20.992 No, they bend it. 01:02:21.072 --> 01:02:22.914 It's just a very gentle bend. 01:02:23.114 --> 01:02:25.777 It's like Pelé with his banana kick. 01:02:25.877 --> 01:02:27.298 Shoot the wings off those flies. 01:02:27.979 --> 01:02:29.220 What are you talking about? 01:02:29.481 --> 01:02:30.201 What do you mean? 01:02:30.401 --> 01:02:31.923 Shoot the wings off the flies. 01:02:31.963 --> 01:02:32.664 You're crazy. 01:02:32.684 --> 01:02:33.705 You'd simply do it. 01:02:35.461 --> 01:02:35.961 I did it! 01:02:36.421 --> 01:02:36.501 Oh! 01:02:36.861 --> 01:02:38.142 My bullets went bended! 01:02:38.162 --> 01:02:38.862 Did you see? 01:02:38.882 --> 01:02:41.903 I was able to shoot the fly cos of the bended bullets! 01:02:42.063 --> 01:02:44.104 Sort of a cross between shooting and ping pong. 01:02:44.364 --> 01:02:44.584 Uh-huh. 01:02:44.744 --> 01:02:47.485 It's quite a good film, but it leaves a very nasty taste in the mouth. 01:02:47.525 --> 01:02:48.145 Very violent. 01:02:48.205 --> 01:02:48.805 Who's in that? 01:02:49.045 --> 01:02:49.705 Who didn't that? 01:02:49.865 --> 01:02:50.385 Who didn't that? 01:02:50.425 --> 01:02:51.286 Who didn't that one? 01:02:51.866 --> 01:02:52.566 James McAvoy. 01:02:52.586 --> 01:02:54.066 James McAvoy, yes, he was at the premiere. 01:02:54.086 --> 01:02:54.607 He's in everything. 01:02:54.627 --> 01:02:55.847 A tiny man in a leather jacket. 01:02:56.087 --> 01:02:57.007 He snogs Andadoody. 01:02:57.187 --> 01:02:57.667 Andadoody. 01:03:00.930 --> 01:03:02.290 He snogs her up the face. 01:03:02.390 --> 01:03:02.991 Angelina Jolie. 01:03:03.011 --> 01:03:04.711 And he was sitting watching it with his girlfriend. 01:03:04.731 --> 01:03:06.912 He was about two rows away from me, sitting watching it with his girlfriend. 01:03:07.272 --> 01:03:10.493 I detected some uncomfortable vibes when he kissed Angelina Jolie. 01:03:10.533 --> 01:03:11.733 Yes, well, exactly. 01:03:11.753 --> 01:03:14.574 I mean, because you would presumably have to enjoy it on some level. 01:03:14.594 --> 01:03:14.874 Yeah. 01:03:15.074 --> 01:03:17.435 Actors always say, oh, no, you know, I mean, it's very technical. 01:03:17.455 --> 01:03:18.495 It's not a sexy situation. 01:03:18.515 --> 01:03:19.756 You've got a big crew standing around. 01:03:19.876 --> 01:03:22.417 But the fact is... It'd be rather nice, wouldn't it? 01:03:22.477 --> 01:03:23.277 There's worse jobs. 01:03:23.997 --> 01:03:24.897 Yeah, yeah. 01:03:25.158 --> 01:03:27.458 Anyway, I think his girlfriend looked a bit threatened by that. 01:03:27.498 --> 01:03:28.499 I may have been just imagining it. 01:03:28.599 --> 01:03:29.559 In fact, it's just come through. 01:03:29.639 --> 01:03:30.779 Officially, I was imagining it. 01:03:31.440 --> 01:03:32.980 But still, it's worth saying. 01:03:33.320 --> 01:03:35.221 I saw one of the worst films I've ever seen as well. 01:03:35.261 --> 01:03:35.601 Which one? 01:03:35.781 --> 01:03:36.481 The Love Guru. 01:03:37.182 --> 01:03:38.342 Oh, Michael Myers. 01:03:38.402 --> 01:03:39.903 It was a big comedy face-off in Los Angeles. 01:03:39.943 --> 01:03:47.685 It was Get Smart with Steve Carell versus The Love Guru, which was going to make the biggest box office boffo thing, you know, make the most money. 01:03:48.125 --> 01:03:49.886 Mike Myers is having a bad going through a bad 01:03:50.086 --> 01:03:53.227 Well, that's a shame because we were talking about him hosting the MTV Awards the other day. 01:03:53.247 --> 01:03:53.967 He did a good job. 01:03:53.987 --> 01:03:54.748 He did a fantastic job. 01:03:54.788 --> 01:03:57.049 But he has not done a good job with the love guru. 01:03:57.289 --> 01:04:00.250 It's like, bafflingly, amazingly awful. 01:04:00.310 --> 01:04:01.930 It's worth going to see because it's so terrible. 01:04:02.150 --> 01:04:08.853 It's like watching a man standing with his toes next to a bucket, trying to drop apples into that bucket, and all of them missing. 01:04:10.336 --> 01:04:13.138 He should hook up with Judd Apatow and all that lot. 01:04:13.198 --> 01:04:14.499 Yeah, I bet he wants to. 01:04:14.600 --> 01:04:16.781 I mean, he's an amazing talent, though, Mike Myers. 01:04:16.801 --> 01:04:17.682 He's fantastic. 01:04:17.762 --> 01:04:19.183 Everybody's ragging on him in America. 01:04:19.363 --> 01:04:19.864 They hate him. 01:04:20.164 --> 01:04:20.825 That's weird. 01:04:20.845 --> 01:04:23.467 The best comedy I saw was You Don't Mess With The Zohan. 01:04:23.787 --> 01:04:24.247 What is that? 01:04:24.488 --> 01:04:25.789 That's Adam Sandler's new one. 01:04:26.189 --> 01:04:26.309 Oh. 01:04:26.669 --> 01:04:29.312 I mean, when I say the best one I saw, I mean, comparatively speaking. 01:04:29.332 --> 01:04:29.832 Best of a bad bite. 01:04:29.892 --> 01:04:30.493 But it's funny. 01:04:30.693 --> 01:04:31.754 I've got time for Sandler. 01:04:31.814 --> 01:04:33.755 It's got a parody of electronics shops in it. 01:04:33.775 --> 01:04:34.156 Right. 01:04:34.196 --> 01:04:35.597 Of cheapskate electronics shops. 01:04:35.857 --> 01:04:39.000 And one of the phrases they say when they're trying to sell things is, Sony guts. 01:04:39.680 --> 01:04:40.240 Sony guts! 01:04:40.320 --> 01:04:41.241 It's got Sony guts! 01:04:42.301 --> 01:04:44.942 Meaning that, you know, on the outside, the brand is Tishonka. 01:04:45.102 --> 01:04:45.403 Yeah. 01:04:45.483 --> 01:04:47.544 But on the inside, the guts are Sony. 01:04:47.624 --> 01:04:48.604 The guts are Sony. 01:04:48.644 --> 01:04:49.104 It's good stuff. 01:04:49.144 --> 01:04:49.604 It's funny. 01:04:49.825 --> 01:04:50.505 Well, I'm up for that. 01:04:50.685 --> 01:04:52.746 I only just saw Be Kind Rewind the other day. 01:04:52.766 --> 01:04:53.886 I haven't seen that yet. 01:04:53.906 --> 01:04:54.327 Have you not? 01:04:54.447 --> 01:04:54.687 No. 01:04:54.767 --> 01:04:55.527 It's worth seeing. 01:04:55.547 --> 01:04:57.148 It's quite an odd film. 01:04:57.668 --> 01:04:59.590 I mean, it seems to have been improvised on the spot. 01:04:59.670 --> 01:04:59.870 Right. 01:04:59.890 --> 01:05:17.028 So Michel Gondry has just said, OK, so in this scene, Jack Black, you say some things to Mos Def and he laughs and then you go to the door and you like the point of the scene is, I don't know, you want to make some films of some of the videos. 01:05:17.349 --> 01:05:19.871 I go to Rubik's Cube with my feet. 01:05:20.012 --> 01:05:20.252 Yes. 01:05:20.592 --> 01:05:22.774 Okay, okay, go, start acting now. 01:05:23.215 --> 01:05:24.035 Oh, that's good. 01:05:24.236 --> 01:05:26.077 Coupe, coupe, coupe. 01:05:26.097 --> 01:05:28.480 Como se, et coupe, merci. 01:05:28.960 --> 01:05:29.641 It always does it. 01:05:29.721 --> 01:05:31.222 It's a French direct as well. 01:05:31.242 --> 01:05:32.443 Yeah, you realize it's real. 01:05:32.523 --> 01:05:35.746 Okay, Michel, Gondry, that was only the first thing. 01:05:35.767 --> 01:05:37.068 That was just off the top of my head. 01:05:37.248 --> 01:05:39.610 Should we do a few more now until we find some good stuff? 01:05:40.131 --> 01:05:41.031 No, that's okay. 01:05:41.072 --> 01:05:41.892 Let's move on. 01:05:41.912 --> 01:05:43.294 I think we've got that now. 01:05:43.314 --> 01:05:44.235 We will still be paid. 01:05:44.855 --> 01:05:45.516 It's okay. 01:05:45.596 --> 01:05:46.237 It's okay. 01:05:46.477 --> 01:05:47.118 But it's worth seeing. 01:05:47.218 --> 01:05:47.799 It's enjoyable. 01:05:48.219 --> 01:05:49.441 Right now, Joe, we got some music. 01:05:49.481 --> 01:05:50.763 This is one of your choices. 01:05:50.823 --> 01:05:56.049 Yeah, this is just a cry, a personal cry from me to the world, courtesy of Elvis Costello. 01:05:56.069 --> 01:05:57.511 This is called I Wanna Be Loved! 01:05:57.711 --> 01:05:58.552 That's a peach, isn't it? 01:05:59.173 --> 01:05:59.333 Yes. 01:06:00.433 --> 01:06:17.085 favourite bit in there when he goes oh he does it nicer than that because he's using a piano which is it's got some terrific modulations is that the correct word yeah a little bit of a chord key change there yeah i like it and who doesn't want to be loved 01:06:17.825 --> 01:06:18.165 Wow. 01:06:18.186 --> 01:06:19.687 Why can't we all love each other? 01:06:20.087 --> 01:06:21.548 Some pop stars don't want to be loved. 01:06:22.149 --> 01:06:24.291 Gigi Allen, he didn't want to be loved. 01:06:24.471 --> 01:06:25.051 He didn't, did he? 01:06:25.071 --> 01:06:26.212 Did you ever find out about him? 01:06:26.232 --> 01:06:27.914 Well, he was with a hate man, you see. 01:06:27.934 --> 01:06:38.362 It was an amazing documentary about him called Hated, and he was a kind of punk musician who used to smear himself in excrement and do all sorts of appalling things on stage. 01:06:38.422 --> 01:06:40.444 Everything you said has been toilet-based this morning. 01:06:40.504 --> 01:06:40.925 That's true. 01:06:40.945 --> 01:06:41.605 Have you noticed that? 01:06:41.845 --> 01:06:43.026 Yeah, well, there you go. 01:06:43.527 --> 01:06:44.908 I mean, that's where it's at though, isn't it? 01:06:45.008 --> 01:06:45.649 That's where it all ends up. 01:06:45.669 --> 01:06:46.049 Is it, though? 01:06:46.269 --> 01:06:47.530 But it's something we can all relate to. 01:06:48.091 --> 01:06:48.331 Yeah? 01:06:48.551 --> 01:06:49.452 It's true, that's true. 01:06:49.712 --> 01:06:54.536 I mean, at the end of the day, I've got a little email here, in fact, from someone, from Laura Dixon. 01:06:54.576 --> 01:06:55.877 Hi, Laura, thanks for emailing us. 01:06:55.897 --> 01:06:56.518 She says, hello. 01:06:56.798 --> 01:06:59.660 Funny you should be talking about colostomy bags and gigs. 01:06:59.800 --> 01:07:01.742 I know someone who wears incontinence pads. 01:07:02.703 --> 01:07:02.743 No. 01:07:02.923 --> 01:07:04.404 Yeah, she says it's like a grown-up... Pads? 01:07:04.884 --> 01:07:05.925 Pads, she says. 01:07:06.406 --> 01:07:07.407 Like a grown-up nappy. 01:07:08.367 --> 01:07:11.408 and they wear them when standing in line for gig tickets. 01:07:11.668 --> 01:07:15.509 She's the sort of person who cues up all night to get the first tickets, you know what I mean. 01:07:15.989 --> 01:07:20.250 Anyway, she wears them because then you don't need to leave the line to go to the loo. 01:07:20.290 --> 01:07:21.010 That's terrifying. 01:07:21.050 --> 01:07:23.891 And they soak up a lot of liquid apparently, she says. 01:07:24.311 --> 01:07:28.972 I'm imagining blue liquid, like in a commercial, held by a very, very dainty hand. 01:07:29.292 --> 01:07:29.772 Exactly. 01:07:29.952 --> 01:07:30.933 On a neutral background. 01:07:30.973 --> 01:07:32.653 Shortly before going riding across 01:07:32.773 --> 01:07:33.174 It's terrible. 01:07:33.194 --> 01:07:39.703 What an awful thought that you might be in a crowd and someone might be wearing pants full of extras. 01:07:39.863 --> 01:07:41.445 Yeah, there you go. 01:07:42.567 --> 01:07:45.091 As long as it's not a physical release, you're all right though, isn't it? 01:07:45.551 --> 01:07:46.733 As long as it's purely digital. 01:07:46.753 --> 01:07:47.314 Digital release. 01:07:49.136 --> 01:07:52.720 And now, folks, I'm sorry to say that we are going to be away again. 01:07:53.421 --> 01:07:58.667 For another three weeks, I feel ashamed that it's all been so all over the place for the last few weeks. 01:07:58.727 --> 01:08:00.128 It's just the way things have worked out. 01:08:00.148 --> 01:08:04.613 You know, we had to take a couple of days off and then, unfortunately, Joe got ill and everything. 01:08:04.653 --> 01:08:06.916 But when we return, which will be in three weeks time, 01:08:07.776 --> 01:08:14.261 We're going to be here for the duration, and the big British castle won't release us for quite some time, so order will be restored. 01:08:14.702 --> 01:08:17.104 But we have excellent coverage while we're away. 01:08:17.304 --> 01:08:25.050 I'm really proud to say that Alan Carr's going to be filling in on our first show and the third show, and then in the middle, the wonderful David Quantick is going to be here. 01:08:25.070 --> 01:08:34.717 I don't know if you caught Dave Quantick's amazingly funny kind of Encyclopedia of Rock-style show on Radio 2 a few weeks back, but that was really well worth catching. 01:08:35.117 --> 01:08:36.959 I wonder, can you listen again to those things still? 01:08:37.833 --> 01:08:39.255 Or do they expire after a while? 01:08:39.315 --> 01:08:41.277 But if you ever get the opportunity, you should check it out. 01:08:42.058 --> 01:08:44.621 My wife is obsessed by Alan Carr, you know? 01:08:45.062 --> 01:08:47.825 She just thinks... Yeah, she thinks he's the funniest guy in the whole world. 01:08:47.865 --> 01:08:50.649 And we caught ourselves watching the Friday night project the other day. 01:08:51.250 --> 01:08:52.311 And quite enjoying it. 01:08:52.331 --> 01:08:53.853 Have you ever had that happen to you? 01:08:54.113 --> 01:08:54.814 Not personally. 01:08:54.834 --> 01:08:59.336 I mean, you know, in the olden days, I wasn't so sure about the Friday night project, I have to be honest. 01:08:59.717 --> 01:09:01.077 But recently, I've been quite digging it. 01:09:01.378 --> 01:09:02.418 Does that mean I'm getting younger? 01:09:02.939 --> 01:09:04.880 No, it means you're just getting stupid. 01:09:04.900 --> 01:09:05.900 It means you're really tired. 01:09:05.940 --> 01:09:07.641 It means you've got young children and you're exhausted. 01:09:07.742 --> 01:09:08.322 He's great, though. 01:09:08.422 --> 01:09:09.523 He's very funny, Alan Carr. 01:09:09.563 --> 01:09:11.784 And my wife, she sat there when we were watching it. 01:09:11.844 --> 01:09:16.487 She giggled at every single thing that he said, like she just couldn't stop herself. 01:09:16.787 --> 01:09:18.428 She was getting embarrassed after a while. 01:09:18.448 --> 01:09:21.129 I mean, he was saying some funny stuff, but she was really giggling. 01:09:21.469 --> 01:09:30.134 And then she admitted to me the next day that she'd been at work and she said, I was giggling just at the thought of Alan Carr at work today. 01:09:30.154 --> 01:09:32.695 She said she was just thinking about him. 01:09:33.115 --> 01:09:34.116 And I said, what were you giggling about? 01:09:34.156 --> 01:09:34.816 What were you thinking? 01:09:35.096 --> 01:09:37.898 She's just saying, oh, you know, just the way he says things. 01:09:38.638 --> 01:09:42.861 She was just the idea of Alan Carr saying various things is enough to make her delighted. 01:09:42.941 --> 01:09:45.323 So we've humiliated your wife and your son. 01:09:45.583 --> 01:09:46.784 I humiliated your dad. 01:09:47.105 --> 01:09:47.625 Who's left? 01:09:48.165 --> 01:09:48.566 Your mum. 01:09:49.046 --> 01:09:50.707 We are half an hour to deal with your mum. 01:09:51.408 --> 01:09:52.749 There's nothing to be humiliated about. 01:09:52.769 --> 01:09:53.449 He's genius. 01:09:53.489 --> 01:09:59.154 He's a cuddly camp genius, Alan Carr, and anyone in their right mind would find him adorable and amusing. 01:09:59.174 --> 01:10:01.175 And I'm very pleased that he's going to be filling in for us. 01:10:01.896 --> 01:10:04.438 Also grateful to David Quantick as well. 01:10:05.399 --> 01:10:10.425 But we will be back, yeah, as I say, after about three weeks and then we'll be here for the duration. 01:10:10.525 --> 01:10:13.869 We do still have half an hour of this show to go though, so, you know, don't panic. 01:10:13.969 --> 01:10:14.409 No, of course. 01:10:14.470 --> 01:10:16.732 And now it's time for the news and the music news. 01:10:16.772 --> 01:10:20.557 The news is read by Nicki Cardwell and music news is read by Lucy O'Doherty. 01:10:20.677 --> 01:10:22.919 That's James with Laid. 01:10:23.499 --> 01:10:28.203 Have you seen that man Tim Booth jumping around recently? 01:10:29.084 --> 01:10:30.826 No, I can picture him in my head though. 01:10:31.146 --> 01:10:35.990 I didn't realise until he was on later with Jules Holland the other day quite what a jumping man he is. 01:10:36.010 --> 01:10:37.051 He loves to jump around. 01:10:38.692 --> 01:10:40.074 Yeah, they were at some festival as well. 01:10:40.094 --> 01:10:46.240 I saw them on the telly and they had loads of middle-aged women jumping around on stage with them as well. 01:10:46.821 --> 01:10:54.348 I don't know if that's just their fans have grown up a little bit now, but it was a beautiful sort of maternal jumping scene going on there. 01:10:55.160 --> 01:10:56.541 Anyway, that's by the by. 01:10:56.561 --> 01:10:58.923 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 01:10:58.943 --> 01:10:59.644 Let's have a jingle. 01:11:01.825 --> 01:11:02.666 Text-a-nation. 01:11:02.706 --> 01:11:03.767 Text, text, text. 01:11:03.867 --> 01:11:04.608 Text-a-nation. 01:11:04.668 --> 01:11:05.649 What if I don't want to? 01:11:05.869 --> 01:11:06.609 Text-a-nation. 01:11:06.709 --> 01:11:07.710 But I'm using email. 01:11:07.850 --> 01:11:08.611 Is that a problem? 01:11:08.631 --> 01:11:09.472 It doesn't matter, text! 01:11:11.792 --> 01:11:25.518 This week's Text the Nation is based on the General Certificate of Secondary Education June 2008 Media Studies Higher tier preliminary material for control tests to be worked during May 2008 H3571 stroke HM AQA Assessment and Qualifications Alliance paper. 01:11:25.918 --> 01:11:31.661 It's a media studies exam and it's asking the kids of the nation to come up with a sitcom idea 01:11:32.781 --> 01:11:40.847 to pitch to a TV company, which is either a brilliant kind of modern idea, or it's a very cheap and lazy way to steal ideas from kids. 01:11:41.147 --> 01:11:41.367 Right. 01:11:41.567 --> 01:11:42.348 To put them on the telly. 01:11:42.588 --> 01:11:43.649 And we've had loads of entries. 01:11:43.949 --> 01:11:45.110 I'm going to whiz through some now. 01:11:45.170 --> 01:11:47.571 Adam's going to play the part of a kind of a commissioning type man. 01:11:47.611 --> 01:11:48.012 No, you're not. 01:11:48.032 --> 01:11:48.912 I'm the invigilator. 01:11:48.952 --> 01:11:49.713 No, I'm not. 01:11:49.733 --> 01:11:51.814 Well, it's the exam marker man. 01:11:52.454 --> 01:11:53.315 That's what they're called. 01:11:53.355 --> 01:11:54.176 The exam marker man. 01:11:54.196 --> 01:11:55.296 Yeah, you're called Mark. 01:11:55.617 --> 01:11:56.777 Mark marker man. 01:11:57.218 --> 01:12:01.000 And you're going to give these ABCs stars or whatever it is these days. 01:12:01.040 --> 01:12:01.601 OK, here we go. 01:12:02.521 --> 01:12:03.121 This is from Chris. 01:12:03.141 --> 01:12:06.602 Dear Adam and Joe, how about a sitcom set in an internet chat room full of cliched internet users? 01:12:06.642 --> 01:12:07.842 It could be called LOL. 01:12:08.803 --> 01:12:10.443 Oh, I'm going to give that an A star. 01:12:10.523 --> 01:12:11.223 An A star? 01:12:11.423 --> 01:12:11.983 It's good, isn't it? 01:12:12.003 --> 01:12:12.423 It's modern. 01:12:12.463 --> 01:12:12.863 It's very good. 01:12:13.144 --> 01:12:13.764 It's very good. 01:12:13.804 --> 01:12:15.184 Yeah, because that's a good idea. 01:12:15.204 --> 01:12:15.824 That's brilliant. 01:12:15.904 --> 01:12:17.805 I'm repeating myself, but just for impact. 01:12:17.985 --> 01:12:18.565 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:12:18.845 --> 01:12:19.365 Here's another one. 01:12:19.405 --> 01:12:20.885 This is from somebody anonymous. 01:12:21.305 --> 01:12:22.026 Sitcom idea. 01:12:22.366 --> 01:12:24.886 Only foos and horses. 01:12:25.226 --> 01:12:28.027 Dr. Dre, 50 Cent and Eminem, living in a ghetto flat in Peckham. 01:12:28.087 --> 01:12:28.327 Here we go. 01:12:28.347 --> 01:12:29.387 Always trying to make a million. 01:12:29.547 --> 01:12:31.388 Only foos and horses. 01:12:32.308 --> 01:12:32.709 Yeah. 01:12:33.009 --> 01:12:33.750 Come on, that's good. 01:12:33.790 --> 01:12:34.992 That's better than the lol. 01:12:35.473 --> 01:12:35.853 Isn't it? 01:12:35.953 --> 01:12:38.857 No, because a sitcom, you need mass appeal, right? 01:12:38.877 --> 01:12:40.239 That's a mass appeal with a hip-hop. 01:12:40.299 --> 01:12:40.860 It's everywhere. 01:12:41.701 --> 01:12:42.262 It's squashed. 01:12:42.282 --> 01:12:43.164 That's late night. 01:12:43.184 --> 01:12:44.786 Late night Channel 4, that is. 01:12:45.186 --> 01:12:46.729 Your channel's going down. 01:12:46.969 --> 01:12:47.329 Oh, God. 01:12:48.030 --> 01:12:49.231 I'm giving that a boo. 01:12:49.271 --> 01:12:51.071 I'm inviting you to a boo-boo party. 01:12:52.832 --> 01:12:56.273 Here is another one. 01:12:56.373 --> 01:12:57.974 This is from Steve Burks. 01:12:58.134 --> 01:12:59.914 I differ sitcom Ross, Ross, Ross and Ross. 01:12:59.974 --> 01:13:05.076 Ross Kemp, Nick Ross, Ross Noble play themselves and share a flat together in Rossshire in Scotland. 01:13:05.316 --> 01:13:08.818 Diana Ross moves into the flat next to them and soon catches their collective eye. 01:13:09.098 --> 01:13:13.239 The series charts their hilarious adventures as they compete to win the heart of the ex-Supreme star. 01:13:13.539 --> 01:13:15.340 If the ratings are low at the end of the first series, 01:13:15.620 --> 01:13:19.662 Jonathan and Paul Ross can be hired to add some only Fools and Horses-style sibling shenanigans. 01:13:21.303 --> 01:13:24.745 Hey, he said the ideal demographic for this are the C1s and the Ds. 01:13:25.286 --> 01:13:26.046 I don't know what that means. 01:13:27.687 --> 01:13:28.307 It sounds good. 01:13:28.407 --> 01:13:29.068 B-Star. 01:13:29.328 --> 01:13:29.968 B-Star? 01:13:30.709 --> 01:13:32.089 Alright, here's one from Dan in Queen's Park. 01:13:32.109 --> 01:13:36.952 Hi guys, my sitcom is called Well Hung and centres around the adventures of an 18th century hangman and his friends. 01:13:37.312 --> 01:13:41.195 The main character is called Mr Lynch and his catchphrase is, I'll kill you for that. 01:13:41.775 --> 01:13:47.321 He's really inept, though, and each week the condemned man escapes, only to be recaptured and brought back each week by the policeman Old Bill. 01:13:47.822 --> 01:13:50.605 The other main character is the jailer Little Willie, who is very camp. 01:13:50.805 --> 01:13:54.789 His catchphrase is, I bet he's well hung, to which Mr Lynch replies, he will be tomorrow. 01:13:55.290 --> 01:13:58.173 It might not be brilliant, but it's got to be worth a series surely loved down in Queens Park. 01:13:59.014 --> 01:14:00.495 Uh, yes, it is worth the series. 01:14:00.555 --> 01:14:02.657 I'll give it an A. Hey, I agree with you. 01:14:02.717 --> 01:14:04.818 I think that's very, that's one of the best ones so far. 01:14:04.878 --> 01:14:08.401 I was thinking maybe it might be about the art world as well, you know, about framers and stuff. 01:14:08.642 --> 01:14:09.462 Yes, but you were wrong. 01:14:09.803 --> 01:14:11.144 I wasn't- Wasted your neurons. 01:14:11.704 --> 01:14:12.225 I was wrong. 01:14:12.505 --> 01:14:14.507 Here's another one from an anonymous, uh, texter. 01:14:14.547 --> 01:14:16.048 How about a sitcom called Guantu- 01:14:16.929 --> 01:14:17.690 Hang on a second. 01:14:17.770 --> 01:14:19.312 Of course there had to be a Guantanamo. 01:14:19.352 --> 01:14:21.114 Guantanamo B. Yeah. 01:14:21.655 --> 01:14:25.620 Pine-sized, peace-loving, vegan pop icon Moby is detained without charge or trial. 01:14:26.001 --> 01:14:31.188 The show would focus on his futile attempts for justice, which would inevitably fail with hilarious consequences. 01:14:31.568 --> 01:14:32.909 And that would pull in a big audience. 01:14:32.969 --> 01:14:34.371 It's a bit tortured. 01:14:34.411 --> 01:14:35.291 Hang on, it's not torture. 01:14:35.351 --> 01:14:35.952 Waterboarded. 01:14:35.972 --> 01:14:36.693 That's allowed. 01:14:37.093 --> 01:14:38.274 It's not torture. 01:14:38.314 --> 01:14:38.874 Yes, exactly. 01:14:38.914 --> 01:14:41.076 It depends what kind of information Moby has, you know? 01:14:41.417 --> 01:14:44.739 If he poses a significant threat, then it's totally legit. 01:14:44.879 --> 01:14:45.680 Yes. 01:14:45.960 --> 01:14:49.363 I'm amazed that more people haven't suggested Guantanamo-based ones. 01:14:49.383 --> 01:14:51.485 Have you seen Harold and Kumar in Guantanamo? 01:14:51.505 --> 01:14:52.346 No, I haven't seen that yet. 01:14:53.006 --> 01:14:54.788 No, there's always time though, isn't there? 01:14:55.068 --> 01:14:55.749 I'm looking forward to it. 01:14:55.769 --> 01:14:56.349 It's supposed to be good. 01:14:57.510 --> 01:14:58.290 That's quite good. 01:14:58.370 --> 01:14:59.091 That is quite good. 01:14:59.111 --> 01:14:59.671 Mark, great. 01:14:59.691 --> 01:15:02.332 It's a little bit like Prison Break, isn't it, as well, with Moby in it? 01:15:02.632 --> 01:15:03.192 In some ways. 01:15:03.592 --> 01:15:04.812 Ah, he's a very nice man, Moby. 01:15:04.872 --> 01:15:06.673 I'd give that an A. Okay, one more. 01:15:06.693 --> 01:15:07.533 We got time for one more? 01:15:07.653 --> 01:15:08.134 Yeah, one more. 01:15:08.154 --> 01:15:08.774 Sitcom idea. 01:15:08.814 --> 01:15:09.914 This is from Dave in Bath. 01:15:09.994 --> 01:15:11.255 It's called Chief Kegwin. 01:15:11.695 --> 01:15:17.356 It's about a washed- It's about a washed-up TV presenter who becomes head of a police precinct in a rough part of New York. 01:15:17.997 --> 01:15:23.578 He overcomes his relative inexperience with bandless enthusiasm and a cheeky personality and giving away giant cheques. 01:15:24.079 --> 01:15:25.019 I added that bit at the end. 01:15:25.339 --> 01:15:26.879 Yeah, that's from David Bath. 01:15:27.100 --> 01:15:28.000 That's pretty good. 01:15:28.380 --> 01:15:30.741 Well, it reminds me of our friend Louis' idea. 01:15:31.321 --> 01:15:32.281 Cheggers can't be boozers. 01:15:32.321 --> 01:15:32.641 Yes. 01:15:33.101 --> 01:15:37.222 Which is just about Cheggers trying to avoid having a drink. 01:15:37.623 --> 01:15:42.664 Anyway, thank you very much for all your suggestions there for Texan Nation this week. 01:15:43.124 --> 01:15:44.185 Very much appreciated. 01:15:44.505 --> 01:15:47.585 And I think the world of sitcom is in extremely safe hands. 01:15:47.806 --> 01:15:48.746 Time now for some more music. 01:15:48.766 --> 01:15:50.466 This is Lady Hawk with Paris is burning. 01:15:50.626 --> 01:15:52.587 That is Lady Hawk with Paris is burning. 01:15:52.887 --> 01:15:55.648 Is that inspired by the film Lady Hawk with Michelle Pfeiffer? 01:15:56.428 --> 01:15:56.908 Who can tell? 01:15:56.928 --> 01:16:00.469 It seems to be inspired by... It's one of the worst films ever made. 01:16:00.909 --> 01:16:03.429 It seems to be inspired by Banana Rama, though. 01:16:03.789 --> 01:16:04.389 It sounds good. 01:16:04.409 --> 01:16:05.250 I like the sound of that. 01:16:05.270 --> 01:16:08.130 I mean, that is heavily reliant on the classic sound of the bananas. 01:16:08.190 --> 01:16:12.271 If they remade Lady Hawk, do you know who would... Well, because they're remaking everything. 01:16:12.291 --> 01:16:12.711 That's true. 01:16:13.331 --> 01:16:14.272 And they'll get there eventually. 01:16:14.292 --> 01:16:15.512 Who would play Lady Hawk? 01:16:16.412 --> 01:16:17.133 Davina McCall. 01:16:17.253 --> 01:16:18.234 Davina McCall. 01:16:18.274 --> 01:16:18.574 Yes. 01:16:18.774 --> 01:16:20.796 Because she looks like a lady hawk. 01:16:20.816 --> 01:16:21.817 A beautiful hawk. 01:16:21.937 --> 01:16:23.338 A beautiful hawk. 01:16:23.398 --> 01:16:26.901 Sleeping with her would be like sleeping with a hawk. 01:16:27.162 --> 01:16:29.343 Yeah, because she sounds similar as well. 01:16:29.684 --> 01:16:30.204 She does. 01:16:30.384 --> 01:16:32.626 And she's almost as if she's got big silky black wings. 01:16:33.827 --> 01:16:34.388 Evil ones. 01:16:35.909 --> 01:16:37.109 Is she still doing Big Brother? 01:16:37.410 --> 01:16:38.170 Yeah. 01:16:38.250 --> 01:16:39.391 Here's some celebrity gossip. 01:16:39.511 --> 01:16:42.593 I had a Din Dins at the Chateau Marmont, right? 01:16:42.693 --> 01:16:44.414 It's a posh hotel in Los Angeles. 01:16:44.434 --> 01:16:45.695 And who was at the next door table? 01:16:46.235 --> 01:16:46.936 James Belushi. 01:16:47.156 --> 01:16:47.876 Dermot O'Leary. 01:16:49.657 --> 01:16:50.318 Was he? 01:16:50.438 --> 01:16:52.820 That was the level of star power at the Chateau Marmont. 01:16:52.840 --> 01:16:54.501 Did you eavesdrop on his composition? 01:16:54.521 --> 01:16:55.922 Joe Cornish and Dermot O'Leary. 01:16:55.962 --> 01:16:57.503 And Robbie Williams, who haunts that place. 01:17:00.283 --> 01:17:02.844 Who was Dermot with? 01:17:03.484 --> 01:17:06.465 He was over in LA to do some meetings. 01:17:06.485 --> 01:17:08.545 He might be presenting some American TV shows. 01:17:08.585 --> 01:17:10.306 Lots of British people are out there. 01:17:10.566 --> 01:17:13.827 Mel B from the Spice Girls has got a new show with Joey Fat One. 01:17:14.567 --> 01:17:18.408 I'm not sure that's how you pronounce his name, but it's certainly spelled Fat One. 01:17:18.468 --> 01:17:19.528 Didn't he used to be an in sync? 01:17:20.228 --> 01:17:21.809 He's the fat one from Insigny. 01:17:21.929 --> 01:17:23.049 Joey Fatone. 01:17:23.149 --> 01:17:26.531 They present a new show called The Singing Office. 01:17:27.391 --> 01:17:31.793 And it's what they do is fat one goes into surprises one group of office workers. 01:17:32.273 --> 01:17:33.814 Mel B surprises the other group. 01:17:34.134 --> 01:17:37.095 They train them to sing and dance and then they have a dance off. 01:17:37.455 --> 01:17:37.755 Right. 01:17:38.316 --> 01:17:41.617 It's a cross between American Idol and The Office with nothing added. 01:17:41.977 --> 01:17:42.157 Yeah. 01:17:42.677 --> 01:17:43.778 The twist is there isn't a twist. 01:17:44.518 --> 01:17:46.079 It's just the office and American Idol. 01:17:46.319 --> 01:17:46.579 Wow. 01:17:46.619 --> 01:17:49.521 That's going to be big for Mel B. What's Dermot going to be doing out there? 01:17:49.541 --> 01:17:51.542 I mean, you know... How's Dermot going to compete with that? 01:17:51.622 --> 01:17:52.502 He could do dramatic roles. 01:17:52.522 --> 01:17:54.003 We were mentioning Prison Break before. 01:17:54.163 --> 01:17:58.705 I don't know if you ever watched that show, but he could definitely be the big, the brother with the giant neck in that show. 01:17:58.845 --> 01:17:59.766 He's such a nice man. 01:17:59.826 --> 01:18:00.626 He was so nice. 01:18:00.906 --> 01:18:01.266 Dermot. 01:18:01.407 --> 01:18:02.687 Yeah, he's very handsome as well. 01:18:02.707 --> 01:18:03.748 His hair's got a bit longer. 01:18:04.128 --> 01:18:04.208 Oh. 01:18:04.628 --> 01:18:04.968 Yeah. 01:18:05.128 --> 01:18:05.729 He's good looking. 01:18:05.749 --> 01:18:08.370 Look, our producer, Jude, is fanning herself because she finds him. 01:18:08.470 --> 01:18:09.911 She wants a slice of O'Leary. 01:18:10.331 --> 01:18:11.952 She wants two slices of O'Leary. 01:18:12.512 --> 01:18:13.133 That's too many. 01:18:13.193 --> 01:18:14.034 One on each boob. 01:18:15.276 --> 01:18:16.598 What? 01:18:16.638 --> 01:18:18.560 Are you trying to get us thrown out of the castle? 01:18:18.741 --> 01:18:19.862 That's nothing rude about that. 01:18:19.982 --> 01:18:25.630 It's quarter to twelve on a Saturday morning and you're conjuring images of Derma O'Leary on people's... 01:18:26.704 --> 01:18:28.546 breasts. 01:18:28.566 --> 01:18:30.928 People have breasts all round the clock. 01:18:31.228 --> 01:18:32.690 They don't go away at noon. 01:18:32.710 --> 01:18:35.092 No, but they become acceptable. 01:18:35.132 --> 01:18:39.556 Before noon, they're in no way acceptable and people have to be covered up and strapped down. 01:18:39.616 --> 01:18:40.697 And not mentioned. 01:18:41.818 --> 01:18:42.899 Never referred to. 01:18:43.440 --> 01:18:47.864 Before midday, that's the unwritten booby rule, which you have transgressed. 01:18:49.645 --> 01:18:56.209 Okay, now, this is exciting because a few weeks ago I had a free play and I was all excited. 01:18:56.229 --> 01:19:02.592 I was saying, this is what becomes The Broken Hearted, which was of course a Colin Blunstone track, Colin Blunstone from The Zombies. 01:19:02.792 --> 01:19:05.433 But this is a version that came out in the 80s with Dave Stewart. 01:19:05.754 --> 01:19:06.894 And first of all, I got it wrong. 01:19:06.934 --> 01:19:08.435 It wasn't Dave Stewart from The Erythmics. 01:19:08.655 --> 01:19:11.237 It was another Dave Stewart who was in a band called Hatfield in the North. 01:19:11.518 --> 01:19:15.221 He also did a cover of It's My Party with Barbara Gaskin, if you remember, in the early 80s. 01:19:15.401 --> 01:19:16.782 He was on fire in the early 80s. 01:19:17.042 --> 01:19:17.803 Barbara Gaskin. 01:19:18.163 --> 01:19:19.324 Barbara Gaskin. 01:19:19.645 --> 01:19:23.989 And he did this cover with Colin Blunstone of What Becomes the Broken Hearted. 01:19:24.269 --> 01:19:27.151 A few weeks ago we played the wrong version, the original version. 01:19:27.391 --> 01:19:29.673 But this is the crazy early 80s synth-y version. 01:19:29.694 --> 01:19:30.314 See if you like this. 01:19:30.474 --> 01:19:30.674 Cool. 01:19:30.694 --> 01:19:31.295 What was that? 01:19:31.455 --> 01:19:32.576 What on earth was that? 01:19:32.616 --> 01:19:33.337 What the hell was that? 01:19:34.157 --> 01:19:35.518 Turn this off or I'll drown a puppy. 01:19:35.658 --> 01:19:36.738 Someone just emailed it. 01:19:37.758 --> 01:19:38.058 Toby. 01:19:38.158 --> 01:19:39.019 Thanks so much Toby. 01:19:39.319 --> 01:19:40.099 Thanks for your input. 01:19:42.260 --> 01:19:42.880 I really like that. 01:19:42.900 --> 01:19:43.500 That's excellent. 01:19:43.540 --> 01:19:52.463 Dave Stewart, and not that Dave Stewart, the other Dave Stewart, and Colin Blunstone, who coincidentally is going to be on Steven Merchant's show tomorrow with another member of the zombies. 01:19:52.803 --> 01:19:54.804 They're sort of reformed and playing gigs at the moment. 01:19:55.464 --> 01:19:56.784 And I'm sure well worth catching. 01:19:56.944 --> 01:19:58.285 They're amazing the zombies. 01:19:58.765 --> 01:20:00.346 So that's on Steven Merchant's show. 01:20:00.366 --> 01:20:01.606 Hey, I've had an idea. 01:20:01.786 --> 01:20:02.126 Go on then. 01:20:02.246 --> 01:20:04.128 When we come back, we might do song wars, right? 01:20:04.168 --> 01:20:04.368 Right. 01:20:04.748 --> 01:20:05.949 And I had an idea for song wars. 01:20:05.989 --> 01:20:06.209 Oh, yeah. 01:20:06.469 --> 01:20:08.391 You know, there's a new James Bond film. 01:20:08.611 --> 01:20:09.131 Yes, I do. 01:20:09.231 --> 01:20:10.372 Quantum of Solace. 01:20:10.492 --> 01:20:15.235 And you know, they're having trouble getting someone to do the song because they keep going for all the druggies. 01:20:15.396 --> 01:20:17.237 Are they not going for what's his name again? 01:20:17.517 --> 01:20:17.937 Who did? 01:20:18.057 --> 01:20:21.780 No, they went for Winehouse, but she was unable to stand up and walk. 01:20:21.940 --> 01:20:22.481 That's true. 01:20:22.501 --> 01:20:23.801 So they had to stop that. 01:20:24.002 --> 01:20:26.703 And I think they might be going for Duffy, but there's still time. 01:20:26.723 --> 01:20:27.524 You're joking. 01:20:27.624 --> 01:20:28.745 Duffy's not on the list. 01:20:28.965 --> 01:20:29.205 Yeah. 01:20:29.365 --> 01:20:30.506 What's the world coming to? 01:20:30.526 --> 01:20:31.527 Well, she's a big star. 01:20:31.547 --> 01:20:32.268 She's number two. 01:20:32.308 --> 01:20:33.429 Oh, for goodness sake. 01:20:33.549 --> 01:20:34.069 In the charts. 01:20:34.089 --> 01:20:34.249 She's 12. 01:20:34.390 --> 01:20:36.631 We're number 40 in the charts. 01:20:37.112 --> 01:20:37.472 Are we? 01:20:37.832 --> 01:20:37.952 Shh. 01:20:38.413 --> 01:20:39.013 Can't talk about it. 01:20:39.033 --> 01:20:40.535 I thought we were at number one. 01:20:40.915 --> 01:20:42.336 In the comedy chart, yeah. 01:20:42.396 --> 01:20:42.476 Shh. 01:20:42.916 --> 01:20:43.077 Shh. 01:20:43.337 --> 01:20:43.897 Shh. 01:20:43.997 --> 01:20:48.221 Anyway, my idea was we should do a song, a theme song for Quantum of Solace. 01:20:48.241 --> 01:20:48.741 Good idea. 01:20:49.042 --> 01:20:51.403 And I know David Arnold, the Bond composer. 01:20:51.483 --> 01:20:51.664 Yeah. 01:20:51.844 --> 01:20:54.886 So I could give him a tinkle and get him to pitch in and judge them. 01:20:55.006 --> 01:20:56.448 And you never know if one of them is good enough. 01:20:56.588 --> 01:20:56.808 Right. 01:20:57.148 --> 01:20:57.248 Eh? 01:20:57.488 --> 01:20:58.149 Might be what? 01:20:58.469 --> 01:20:58.610 Eh? 01:20:58.890 --> 01:21:00.531 Might be... They might be... They might use it! 01:21:00.571 --> 01:21:01.112 For the film! 01:21:01.152 --> 01:21:01.853 For the film! 01:21:02.253 --> 01:21:03.354 That's definitely gonna happen. 01:21:03.394 --> 01:21:04.115 Let's do that then. 01:21:04.155 --> 01:21:05.977 So when we come back in three weeks time? 01:21:06.077 --> 01:21:06.257 Yeah. 01:21:06.637 --> 01:21:07.518 Quantum of Solace. 01:21:08.159 --> 01:21:08.559 Okay. 01:21:08.719 --> 01:21:11.842 The Quantum of Solace. 01:21:11.862 --> 01:21:13.104 That's good, man. 01:21:13.124 --> 01:21:15.346 I'm gonna have to go out and buy some new plug-ins for GarageBand. 01:21:15.626 --> 01:21:15.966 Yeah. 01:21:16.587 --> 01:21:17.247 What are you thinking? 01:21:17.287 --> 01:21:19.568 I mean, it's got to be sort of epic and serious. 01:21:19.588 --> 01:21:21.149 Yeah, orchestral. 01:21:21.489 --> 01:21:24.310 It's got to be suitable for naked ladies to dance to. 01:21:24.450 --> 01:21:24.730 Yeah. 01:21:24.911 --> 01:21:26.511 But you can have a rap in the middle there, can't you? 01:21:26.911 --> 01:21:27.972 Er, Quantum of Solace. 01:21:27.992 --> 01:21:28.912 What rhymes with solace? 01:21:30.173 --> 01:21:30.613 Uh... Dollace. 01:21:31.093 --> 01:21:32.194 Dollace Hill. 01:21:32.934 --> 01:21:34.195 That's not very James Bondy. 01:21:34.795 --> 01:21:36.376 Does he live in Dollace Hill? 01:21:36.836 --> 01:21:37.356 Maybe he does. 01:21:37.396 --> 01:21:38.937 It's very real and gritty these days. 01:21:39.357 --> 01:21:40.278 That's a different film, man. 01:21:40.318 --> 01:21:41.198 Quantum of Dollace Hill. 01:21:41.498 --> 01:21:42.359 Have you seen the trailer? 01:21:42.879 --> 01:21:43.079 No. 01:21:43.920 --> 01:21:44.500 It's the same. 01:21:45.201 --> 01:21:46.081 As all the Bond trailers. 01:21:46.161 --> 01:21:46.781 As the other one. 01:21:46.962 --> 01:21:47.242 Right. 01:21:47.322 --> 01:21:49.283 It's got Judi Stench getting very annoyed. 01:21:49.563 --> 01:21:51.184 Wallace, of course, rhymes with Solace. 01:21:51.504 --> 01:21:53.085 It's got Daniel Craig's boobs. 01:21:53.946 --> 01:21:54.826 Yeah, his man boobs. 01:21:54.866 --> 01:21:56.307 His man boobs are all over the show. 01:21:56.347 --> 01:21:56.807 Delightful. 01:21:57.688 --> 01:21:59.889 He's going AWOL in this one. 01:22:00.109 --> 01:22:00.309 Right. 01:22:00.449 --> 01:22:03.271 He's refusing to listen to anybody and shooting people left, right and centre. 01:22:03.291 --> 01:22:04.352 What is the premise of the film? 01:22:04.452 --> 01:22:04.832 Don't know. 01:22:05.432 --> 01:22:05.993 It's a spy. 01:22:07.093 --> 01:22:08.614 He's about a British spy. 01:22:08.634 --> 01:22:09.955 He's got a dinner jacket. 01:22:10.195 --> 01:22:11.176 He's got a dinner jacket. 01:22:11.276 --> 01:22:13.277 And a gun and a license. 01:22:13.397 --> 01:22:14.438 And lots of products. 01:22:14.578 --> 01:22:15.519 He's licensed it. 01:22:15.719 --> 01:22:16.039 Chill. 01:22:16.399 --> 01:22:18.641 He's licensed to a product place. 01:22:18.801 --> 01:22:19.541 There you go. 01:22:19.681 --> 01:22:22.603 Okay, now we just got time for one more track before we say goodbye. 01:22:23.183 --> 01:22:25.305 We may not be able to play the whole of this one, though, I don't think. 01:22:25.645 --> 01:22:26.245 Should we start it off? 01:22:26.285 --> 01:22:27.206 Let's start it now, Jude. 01:22:28.166 --> 01:22:31.949 This is Big Audio Dynamite with E equals MC squared. 01:22:32.489 --> 01:22:33.870 We'll be back with you in three weeks time. 01:22:33.930 --> 01:22:34.750 Is this our goodbye, Link? 01:22:35.130 --> 01:22:35.330 Yeah. 01:22:35.350 --> 01:22:37.792 Thanks a lot for listening and texting and emailing and everything. 01:22:38.032 --> 01:22:40.613 And we'll be back with you in three weeks time. 01:22:40.633 --> 01:22:44.935 And thanks to Unity and Division, who we saw them playing at Glastonbury last weekend. 01:22:44.975 --> 01:22:45.695 We gave them a mention. 01:22:45.715 --> 01:22:47.036 They've sent us a very nice message. 01:22:47.296 --> 01:22:51.478 And they're playing at Bonkers Fest on Campbellwell Green in London on the 19th of July. 01:22:51.518 --> 01:22:52.158 So go along. 01:22:52.178 --> 01:22:52.979 It's a free event. 01:22:53.559 --> 01:22:54.560 And they will be there. 01:22:54.580 --> 01:22:56.120 They were fantastic, Unity and Division. 01:22:56.440 --> 01:22:58.721 Don't forget the show is available on Listen Live. 01:22:58.762 --> 01:23:01.063 And the podcast will be there from Sunday to about 11. 01:23:01.983 --> 01:23:04.192 Stay tuned for this Kershaw, we love you, bye!