WEBVTT 00:00.049 --> 00:03.270 There you go, that's the Fountains of Wayne with Radiation Vibe. 00:03.310 --> 00:04.750 Hello, my name's Adam Buxton. 00:04.850 --> 00:06.111 Hello, my name's Joe Cornish. 00:06.131 --> 00:06.651 Good morning. 00:06.931 --> 00:07.751 Good morning, Joe. 00:08.091 --> 00:08.832 Thanks a lot, man. 00:08.852 --> 00:09.492 How are you doing? 00:09.532 --> 00:10.312 How did you sleep? 00:10.832 --> 00:11.573 I slept very well. 00:11.593 --> 00:12.973 Good morning, listeners as well. 00:12.993 --> 00:13.593 Yeah, morning. 00:13.633 --> 00:14.193 Nice morning. 00:14.654 --> 00:15.854 How did you sleep, listeners? 00:16.334 --> 00:17.275 Yeah, were you okay? 00:17.295 --> 00:19.679 Did you have to get up in the night for any reason? 00:19.699 --> 00:21.901 Did you have to get up in the night for any reason? 00:22.282 --> 00:24.124 No, I slept very soundly, did you? 00:24.184 --> 00:26.087 Yeah, sometimes I do have to get up a lot. 00:26.127 --> 00:26.488 Do you? 00:26.648 --> 00:28.370 Yes, because I'm very old. 00:29.251 --> 00:29.491 Are you? 00:29.512 --> 00:32.455 I'm very old and I've got a tiny bladder. 00:33.837 --> 00:38.881 Yeah, so I do have to get up a lot during the night, but no, I had a nice, uh, restful night last night. 00:38.901 --> 00:40.322 Although I had strange dreams. 00:40.602 --> 00:41.103 Oh dear. 00:41.443 --> 00:43.305 I had a strange dream about you, actually. 00:43.365 --> 00:44.265 Now that I come to think of it. 00:44.285 --> 00:44.666 Was it sexy? 00:44.746 --> 00:45.626 No, it wasn't sexy. 00:45.646 --> 00:46.747 This time it wasn't sexy. 00:47.288 --> 00:48.469 It was a little bit angry. 00:48.849 --> 00:49.209 Really? 00:49.229 --> 00:50.310 What were you angry with me about? 00:50.330 --> 00:51.131 Shall I tell you later? 00:51.631 --> 00:51.911 Yeah. 00:51.931 --> 00:53.052 Shall I tell you after this next song? 00:53.292 --> 00:55.334 Folks, we've got a great show coming up for you. 00:55.694 --> 01:02.780 Oh my lord, we're gonna be resolving one of the most heated and fraught song wars in the history of song wars. 01:03.240 --> 01:05.203 Yeah, it's not looking good for me, I don't think. 01:05.383 --> 01:05.803 You reckon? 01:06.004 --> 01:11.170 I've caught some vibes in the big British castle this morning that maybe it's not so good for me. 01:11.190 --> 01:11.630 Really? 01:11.671 --> 01:12.351 Our producer. 01:13.106 --> 01:15.827 not being very subtle about the hinting. 01:15.847 --> 01:18.708 Do you know when your own producer gangs up on you? 01:18.948 --> 01:30.273 Well listen, to put you in the picture folks, if you weren't listening last week, the first Song Wars of 2008, we thought we'd do an easy one, you know like a short one, we were gonna do ringtones. 01:30.793 --> 01:38.656 So Joe comes in armed with like three ringtones, which myself and Jude our producer thought was a violation of the Song Wars contract. 01:39.136 --> 01:48.878 Joe got a little bit defensive about it, I got a little bit aggressive about it, and it was all, like, bad vibes were bouncing off the walls, like, uh, kind of monkeys, fun monkeys. 01:49.518 --> 01:52.499 And so, who knows how that's all gonna turn out this week? 01:52.519 --> 01:54.139 You'll find out in this program. 01:54.239 --> 02:02.621 Also, we have the nation's favourite feature, Text to Nation, coming up later on in the program, as well as, of course, brand new songs to unveil for this week's Song Wars. 02:03.241 --> 02:05.102 All that coming up after this. 02:05.142 --> 02:06.923 This is Adele with Chasing Pavements. 02:07.123 --> 02:08.543 That's Adele with Chasing Pavements. 02:08.583 --> 02:20.849 This is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music coming to you live from the big British Griffith Castle in London, which is a big city in the south of England that many of you may never be able to afford to visit. 02:21.029 --> 02:21.749 No, it's amazing. 02:21.789 --> 02:22.609 It's very exciting. 02:22.909 --> 02:24.290 It's full of furious people. 02:24.430 --> 02:28.752 The streets are studded with celebrities and celebrities with studs. 02:29.252 --> 02:29.612 Ooh. 02:30.633 --> 02:31.253 Paris Hilton. 02:31.613 --> 02:33.875 She lives here, she's in Oxford Street right now. 02:33.995 --> 02:35.016 She sleeps on the street. 02:35.316 --> 02:35.416 Yeah. 02:35.436 --> 02:37.658 Because she doesn't have enough money to afford a house in London. 02:37.878 --> 02:40.180 No, exactly, because London's very overpriced and amazing. 02:40.200 --> 02:42.122 And it's a lovely morning here in London. 02:42.442 --> 02:45.985 Folks, I'm glad to tell you, I saw the weather guy last night saying... What? 02:46.285 --> 02:47.446 In a kind of intimate way. 02:47.807 --> 02:48.287 The weather guy? 02:48.507 --> 02:48.788 Yeah. 02:48.908 --> 02:51.330 Did you go clubbing together to a sort of a gay club? 02:52.153 --> 02:52.593 Oh, no. 02:52.674 --> 02:53.414 I saw him on TV. 02:53.534 --> 02:55.316 Yeah, I don't know the weather guy. 02:55.336 --> 02:55.736 Okay, sorry. 02:55.756 --> 02:56.637 I completely missed you. 02:56.657 --> 02:57.017 It's true. 02:57.057 --> 02:57.478 No, it's okay. 02:57.558 --> 02:58.498 It's all right. 02:58.559 --> 02:59.359 Yeah, I don't know him. 02:59.439 --> 03:00.200 I don't know the weather guy. 03:00.220 --> 03:00.500 Don't you? 03:00.740 --> 03:01.181 Don't know him. 03:01.261 --> 03:02.762 I completely got the wrong end of the stick. 03:02.802 --> 03:03.102 Yeah, you did. 03:03.122 --> 03:03.623 I'm really sorry. 03:03.703 --> 03:04.564 How embarrassing. 03:04.664 --> 03:05.865 How very embarrassing for you. 03:06.425 --> 03:13.591 No, I saw him, and I just caught the tail end of his report, and he was saying, so I'm afraid it's going to be the end of the good weather. 03:13.611 --> 03:15.113 And I was thinking, what, the good weather? 03:15.133 --> 03:17.394 This has been one of the worst weeks of weather. 03:18.337 --> 03:19.918 And you don't like talking about the weather, Joe. 03:19.958 --> 03:20.799 I love it, I love it. 03:20.999 --> 03:21.919 It fascinates me. 03:21.959 --> 03:22.600 But I do. 03:22.620 --> 03:23.080 The weather. 03:23.300 --> 03:24.101 Because I'm British. 03:24.121 --> 03:25.242 What will happen next? 03:25.342 --> 03:26.042 I'm from Britain. 03:26.582 --> 03:28.984 And it gets me down, man. 03:29.064 --> 03:31.586 I'm deeply, I get SAD a little bit, you know? 03:32.326 --> 03:36.349 And I find it, don't you find it odd that, especially in Great Britain, 03:37.249 --> 03:39.731 Where we're good at coming together in a crisis. 03:39.751 --> 03:40.311 Do you know what I mean? 03:40.571 --> 03:40.811 Sure. 03:40.931 --> 03:58.961 Yeah, I mean I'm thinking of the the blitz Yeah, that's the last time Britain came together in a crisis and sang songs and held hands and you know weathered weathered a shared crisis together But you think like well a rainy day a very rainy day like we had yesterday in London town is Deeply depressing and everyone's miserable 03:59.181 --> 04:01.121 So why don't we share that crisis together? 04:01.221 --> 04:02.462 Instead it divides us. 04:02.782 --> 04:10.343 You go out there and everyone's furious with each other, everyone's looking down, everyone's thinking, I hate you, this is the worst day of my life and I hate absolutely everyone. 04:10.363 --> 04:11.003 Do you know what I'm saying? 04:11.083 --> 04:11.624 Or is that just me? 04:11.664 --> 04:13.844 Observation, it's all happening in your head. 04:13.884 --> 04:16.445 It's just in my head. 04:16.585 --> 04:23.086 Hey, last night on BBC Four, as part of their pop Britannia season, they showed Cracked Actor again. 04:23.106 --> 04:23.586 Oh yeah. 04:23.866 --> 04:27.408 Alan Yentob's extraordinary documentary about David Bowie. 04:27.448 --> 04:27.548 Yes. 04:28.229 --> 04:29.429 I haven't seen it for a while. 04:29.649 --> 04:30.030 It's lovely. 04:30.070 --> 04:30.870 It's fantastic. 04:30.950 --> 04:32.351 Every year it kind of gets better. 04:32.511 --> 04:32.711 Yeah. 04:33.271 --> 04:34.572 And favourite scene? 04:35.053 --> 04:38.194 Favourite scene with the bit where he's talking about his cut up techniques. 04:38.615 --> 04:38.875 Yes. 04:39.315 --> 04:40.656 I don't know if this is how. 04:41.316 --> 04:41.996 Who else does it? 04:42.037 --> 04:42.917 Bukowski does it. 04:43.918 --> 04:44.658 You know that stuff? 04:44.898 --> 04:45.138 Yeah. 04:45.919 --> 04:46.419 Just brilliant. 04:46.439 --> 04:49.441 He's so kind of mannered and he's still really cool. 04:49.941 --> 04:50.502 He looks lovely. 04:50.542 --> 04:51.183 It looks a little bit 05:08.663 --> 05:10.124 It's a little bit birdy song, isn't it? 05:10.144 --> 05:12.524 It looks a bit like Ricky Gervais' dance from The Office. 05:12.624 --> 05:13.345 It does, doesn't it? 05:13.465 --> 05:14.245 But more graceful. 05:14.285 --> 05:16.286 Yeah, but that's when he crosses the line. 05:16.806 --> 05:17.566 But God bless him. 05:18.086 --> 05:18.867 He's great, isn't he? 05:18.907 --> 05:22.248 Here in celebration is a little bit of 80s Bowie. 05:22.588 --> 05:23.468 This is China Girl. 05:23.688 --> 05:24.889 David Bowie with China Girl. 05:25.309 --> 05:30.131 My favourite lyric from that song is, it's in the way of my eyes. 05:31.061 --> 05:32.742 It's just a way of saying I can't see. 05:32.762 --> 05:34.862 No, he's saying it's in the whites of my eyes. 05:34.942 --> 05:35.982 He's not, is he? 05:36.283 --> 05:37.083 Yeah. 05:37.403 --> 05:38.503 Are you sure? 05:38.723 --> 05:41.244 Yeah, definitely, because Iggy Pop sings it a bit more clearer. 05:41.804 --> 05:43.925 I wish he was singing it's in the way of my eyes. 05:43.945 --> 05:45.945 I know, I always thought it was... Let's use that phrase. 05:46.165 --> 05:46.546 Yeah. 05:46.946 --> 05:48.266 Can you move that book? 05:48.666 --> 05:51.067 It's in the way of my eyes? 05:51.880 --> 05:52.820 Yeah, that's a shame. 05:52.940 --> 05:53.660 Oh, well, there we go. 05:53.700 --> 05:55.181 Do you remember the filthiness of that video? 05:55.341 --> 05:55.781 I do! 05:55.841 --> 05:57.901 It's, well, it's got David Bowie's Butox in it. 05:57.941 --> 05:58.661 Butox! 05:58.681 --> 05:59.722 Butox! 05:59.822 --> 06:01.302 And they are Butox as well. 06:01.322 --> 06:03.062 They're very... They're beautiful. 06:03.442 --> 06:05.443 I mean, he was looking good there. 06:05.463 --> 06:06.323 It's a sexy video. 06:06.363 --> 06:12.684 There's a sexy Asian lady, and there is David, who's sexy, and they're doing sexiness in the sea. 06:13.144 --> 06:13.744 It's exciting. 06:13.804 --> 06:15.105 It caused a scandal scandal. 06:15.145 --> 06:15.305 It did. 06:16.385 --> 06:17.447 When it came out, do you remember? 06:17.847 --> 06:18.068 Yes. 06:18.428 --> 06:19.069 They banned it. 06:19.109 --> 06:21.172 The big British castle, uh, were- Quite right. 06:21.212 --> 06:23.996 The big British castle cannot tolerate buttons. 06:24.056 --> 06:26.200 No, they would not let the buttons within the walls of the castle. 06:26.240 --> 06:27.261 No, they're too erotic. 06:27.421 --> 06:28.683 With their roundness. 06:28.803 --> 06:30.025 We must repel the Butox! 06:30.876 --> 06:36.903 and they would not show, I think I'm right in saying that they would not show the Butox on top of the... So Channel 4 showed it or something, didn't they? 06:36.943 --> 06:37.885 Yeah, on the tube probably. 06:37.905 --> 06:38.565 The racy channel. 06:38.866 --> 06:39.707 The dirty channel. 06:40.127 --> 06:43.111 So I was talking about the fact that I had a dream about you the other night. 06:43.131 --> 06:48.858 Joe, I didn't mean to... probably... I just thought of it as I said it because, you know, it wasn't well formed. 06:48.878 --> 06:50.079 Do you know how some of you are bampettling? 06:50.800 --> 07:18.659 Little bit because it's not like a real deep meaningful dream except to say that it was it was a little bit angry There's a little bit of anger there, but I had a glass of red wine before I went to bed So maybe it just came out of that, you know threw off my equilibrium a little bit but basically you and I were holidaying with a friend and It was a little bit hazy but Towards the end of the holiday we were given gifts because the person we were staying with was a sort of famous person It was just a random famous person. 07:18.679 --> 07:19.639 I couldn't tell you who it was. 07:19.679 --> 07:20.260 You know what I'm saying? 07:21.181 --> 07:24.384 And, uh, but it was a sort of grand mansion that we were staying in. 07:24.424 --> 07:27.126 And then when, on, on, on the day we left... Did I get a better gift than you? 07:27.146 --> 07:28.207 Did you get jealous? 07:28.808 --> 07:29.088 Yes! 07:29.969 --> 07:30.209 Hmm. 07:30.269 --> 07:30.629 Yes! 07:31.330 --> 07:32.411 And, uh, guess what you got? 07:32.651 --> 07:33.392 You got B.B. 07:33.492 --> 07:34.573 King's guitar. 07:35.014 --> 07:35.974 Oh, I love that guitar! 07:35.995 --> 07:37.416 Well, you don't love that guitar. 07:37.616 --> 07:41.099 Not only that, but you don't really, A, you don't really care about B.B. 07:41.159 --> 07:41.360 King. 07:42.100 --> 07:47.386 Not that I do, particularly, but I... In my dreams, I like his playing on the soundtrack for Into the Night. 07:47.647 --> 07:47.887 Right. 07:47.927 --> 07:50.009 You see, you probably know more about BB King than I do. 07:50.249 --> 07:50.450 Yeah. 07:50.470 --> 07:51.831 But in my dream, I was furious. 07:51.891 --> 07:53.293 I think he doesn't care about BB King. 07:53.333 --> 07:54.274 What did you get? 07:54.835 --> 07:58.058 Uh, I think I got, like, a tunic or something like that. 07:58.158 --> 07:58.379 Really? 07:58.399 --> 07:59.820 I got something that was his stylophone. 07:59.860 --> 08:00.781 I was thinking... Yeah. 08:01.502 --> 08:03.543 I was thinking this is a much better gift for Joe. 08:04.423 --> 08:05.723 I like playing the guitar. 08:05.963 --> 08:07.224 I would value B.B. 08:07.284 --> 08:08.344 King's guitar. 08:08.684 --> 08:13.305 I would keep it in a special perspex case and only take it out on special occasions. 08:13.405 --> 08:16.926 Joe's just gonna prop that thing up in the corner and disrespect it. 08:16.966 --> 08:18.267 Do you know what that dream says? 08:18.287 --> 08:18.907 What does it say? 08:19.247 --> 08:19.707 Everything. 08:21.788 --> 08:23.408 Here's a trail, then some Beastie Boys. 08:24.708 --> 08:25.929 Ban that sick filth. 08:26.189 --> 08:28.229 It's the Beastie Boys' cheese on it. 08:28.249 --> 08:29.690 They just exploded. 08:29.710 --> 08:30.490 It's so exciting. 08:31.030 --> 08:34.394 And now it's time to wrap up last week's Song Wars. 09:03.160 --> 09:07.163 That's the song wars jingle and that's the regular song wars jingle. 09:07.183 --> 09:11.546 You'll remember that last week we got an email from a furious listener. 09:11.626 --> 09:12.766 We love furious listeners. 09:12.806 --> 09:13.767 Absolutely furious. 09:13.807 --> 09:14.348 Dick Thompson. 09:14.508 --> 09:15.328 Actually that's not quite true. 09:15.348 --> 09:17.690 He's a very nice email indeed from Dick Thompson. 09:17.710 --> 09:19.191 A very driven email focused. 09:19.511 --> 09:37.937 But he was, the main thrust of his email was how nice it was to hear two such well-spoken, well-educated people as ourselves on the radio, posh people, you know, forcing back the tidal wave of filth and bad language and sloppy accents on the radio. 09:38.317 --> 09:42.058 But he said he took issue with the grammar in the song was jingle. 09:42.618 --> 09:46.939 He said, in the Song Wars Jingle you can be heard saying, which will you vote for? 09:47.160 --> 09:48.320 Which one is the best? 09:48.780 --> 09:55.502 Now I'm sure I don't need to tell you that when comparing two objects, I'm quoting from his email here, you should be using the word better. 09:56.122 --> 09:59.203 Best can only be used for three or more objects. 09:59.503 --> 10:03.925 I have therefore taken the liberty of rewriting the two lines affected by this as follows. 10:04.365 --> 10:05.525 Which will you vote for? 10:05.865 --> 10:07.106 Which one is the better? 10:07.666 --> 10:10.149 Vote for them now by email text. 10:10.289 --> 10:11.331 So did you rejig it for me? 10:11.351 --> 10:12.532 Or a letter, so I've done it for you. 10:12.793 --> 10:15.456 But dick, here's the new rejigged jingle for you, dick. 10:16.557 --> 10:18.420 It's time for song wars. 10:32.566 --> 10:34.147 I don't like it as much. 10:34.567 --> 10:36.408 You sound kind of ground down. 10:37.388 --> 10:38.949 The fire's gone out. 10:39.029 --> 10:41.611 You sound like a schoolboy who's been ticked off. 10:41.771 --> 10:42.451 It's true, isn't it? 10:42.471 --> 10:44.632 But listen, we got the news coming up, so we need to do this pretty fast. 10:44.672 --> 10:48.735 Here are some emails that came in about last week's song wars from Lily Elbrus. 10:48.775 --> 10:51.556 She says, Joe, you leave me no choice but to vote for Adam's ringtone. 10:51.636 --> 10:52.737 Cheats never prosper. 10:53.377 --> 10:56.140 Peter Fletcher says, I vote for Adam because Joe is a cheater. 10:56.720 --> 10:58.862 Bill Edwards says, I'm voting for Joe's. 10:59.103 --> 11:01.645 I think Adam has missed the point somewhat and done a song. 11:01.985 --> 11:02.826 Too high-minded. 11:03.106 --> 11:06.089 Joe's is closer to the heinous spirit of that crazy frog thing from way back. 11:06.470 --> 11:07.270 Pure torture. 11:07.490 --> 11:08.752 I really want to vote for you Adam. 11:09.693 --> 11:10.954 Uh, yeah, but he can't. 11:10.974 --> 11:12.135 Because, uh, you got it wrong. 11:13.155 --> 11:16.057 And another one Shyan Wright, I think Joe's ringtone is the best. 11:17.177 --> 11:21.659 You know, I'm voting for Adam's song because of Joe's misguided choice, says Meg Ferguson. 11:21.979 --> 11:23.880 This is not good, but I'm getting sympathy votes. 11:24.260 --> 11:26.241 I'm getting like cheating votes and I don't want that. 11:26.321 --> 11:27.182 I must have lost this. 11:27.222 --> 11:28.682 I'm gonna open the envelope now. 11:29.143 --> 11:32.864 If Joe has lost this, this will only be the third song wars that I've ever won. 11:32.904 --> 11:33.164 Wow. 11:33.485 --> 11:33.665 Well... 11:34.565 --> 11:36.145 The scores are 79% plays 21%. 11:36.385 --> 11:37.726 To whom? 11:38.146 --> 11:38.606 To you! 11:39.426 --> 11:40.286 Hooray, I've won! 11:40.306 --> 12:01.210 Kingston has won, even though it was... However, here's an email from Mark Thompson, who says that according to BBC guidelines, entries for a competition must correctly meet the precise stipulations of the competition, therefore Adam is disqualified for writing a song, not a ringtone, and Joe wins. 12:01.250 --> 12:01.970 You're dreaming. 12:02.530 --> 12:03.011 You are dreaming. 12:03.051 --> 12:03.711 I was making that. 12:03.731 --> 12:07.554 Now, I'm going to play you my ringtone over the phone because that's the way you should really hear it. 12:07.935 --> 12:11.998 And a reminder that you can download all these ringtones, both Joe's and myself. 12:12.018 --> 12:13.519 Not all three of mine, I have to say. 12:13.539 --> 12:13.820 Not all three. 12:13.860 --> 12:14.820 I was furious about that. 12:14.880 --> 12:15.861 Might be found out. 12:16.682 --> 12:18.003 But where can they download them from? 12:18.043 --> 12:18.664 The website. 12:18.704 --> 12:19.404 The BBC website. 12:19.424 --> 12:20.966 We'll give you details of that a bit later. 12:21.086 --> 12:23.748 So here's my winning ringtone right now. 12:26.892 --> 12:42.725 You got a call coming in, it's exciting Perhaps it's from an actor or a model Or maybe Russell Brand But more likely, it's from someone at work saying why Ain't you done? 12:43.286 --> 12:45.828 All your work Just let it ring, it all goes 12:50.269 --> 12:54.850 See, wouldn't this be great coming out of your phone? 12:54.970 --> 13:01.152 And yes, it is a song, but it's also... Young people... Is that an actual call coming through, though? 13:01.192 --> 13:02.993 No, that's incorporated into the... You see? 13:03.453 --> 13:04.593 It's amazing. 13:17.560 --> 13:20.682 You know what I think would be even better than that? 13:20.702 --> 13:22.223 No, no, no, no. 13:22.483 --> 13:24.325 It's time for the news, read by Harvey Cooke. 13:24.925 --> 13:27.507 That's Interpol with Slow Hands. 13:27.527 --> 13:28.447 A very important song. 13:28.568 --> 13:29.388 Yes, exactly. 13:29.428 --> 13:31.650 It's Warning of the Danger of... What is it? 13:31.670 --> 13:32.450 Warning of the Danger of...? 13:32.510 --> 13:34.352 Just things, generally things. 13:34.392 --> 13:39.875 Just careful, watch out, you know, take care, sharp things, tripping, all that business, saying stupid things. 13:40.296 --> 13:40.616 Oh, yeah. 13:41.396 --> 13:44.097 Now, Joe, you were talking about Chris Rock yesterday. 13:44.117 --> 13:46.718 Did you see him on Jonathan Ross yesterday? 13:46.838 --> 13:51.379 I didn't know, but I saw him live the night that he would have recorded Jonathan's show, Thursday night. 13:51.519 --> 13:51.919 Oh, really? 13:51.939 --> 13:52.340 Yeah. 13:52.640 --> 13:55.801 So what, he went on to do that after doing Jonathan's? 13:55.821 --> 13:57.961 Yeah, either before, or after probably before. 13:58.461 --> 13:59.442 Oh. 13:59.802 --> 14:03.443 Yeah, I saw Chris Rock, listeners, is an American comedian. 14:03.763 --> 14:04.763 The rocker, they call it. 14:04.843 --> 14:05.504 Yeah, no, they don't. 14:05.524 --> 14:05.804 Do they? 14:05.904 --> 14:06.304 No, they don't. 14:06.744 --> 14:08.584 And he was pretty good. 14:08.924 --> 14:09.105 Yeah. 14:09.465 --> 14:11.485 Even though events have overtaken him slightly. 14:11.905 --> 14:12.325 In what way? 14:12.405 --> 14:18.587 Well, one of his amazing bits of his breakthrough set that I remember seeing years ago was talking about how there'd never be a black vice president. 14:18.947 --> 14:19.187 Right. 14:19.207 --> 14:21.108 Because if there was, he'd get shot. 14:22.628 --> 14:26.130 So he'd then become president, and the guy that shot him would be a hero. 14:26.550 --> 14:27.831 He'd be able to go to Britain. 14:27.891 --> 14:29.051 It was a brilliant bit of his routine. 14:29.331 --> 14:34.313 But now that it looks like there might be a black president, he's kind of had the rug pulled out from under his feet. 14:34.393 --> 14:38.035 So his sort of comedy targets were a little bit pat. 14:38.715 --> 14:40.996 He did a lot of stuff on the differences between men and women. 14:42.016 --> 14:42.936 There are a lot of them. 14:42.976 --> 14:44.217 He did a lot of stuff on George Bush. 14:44.657 --> 14:45.197 Women. 14:45.638 --> 14:47.158 They do talk a lot, don't they, women? 14:47.499 --> 14:48.779 That was one of the things they played. 14:48.799 --> 14:56.864 They played a little clip of him talking about how much women talk and the fact that men have the right to come home from work without women talking to them so much when they get through the door. 14:57.804 --> 14:58.224 Which, see? 14:58.565 --> 14:59.285 It was pretty good. 14:59.505 --> 15:04.748 He's got amazing energy and the thing about those American stand-ups is they're so amazingly slick and confident. 15:04.768 --> 15:05.428 That's the thing. 15:05.568 --> 15:08.110 Such a long act and it's word perfect. 15:08.270 --> 15:08.470 Right. 15:08.570 --> 15:10.591 It's kind of like verbal brain surgery. 15:10.871 --> 15:12.392 Yeah, well, they do it over and over again. 15:12.412 --> 15:15.454 It's like Seinfeld, you know, he's a real... A lot of practice, yeah. 15:15.675 --> 15:16.996 ...scientist about it, you know? 15:17.176 --> 15:19.437 Yeah, well, there's that brilliant film about Seinfeld called Comedian. 15:19.477 --> 15:22.499 If you haven't seen that, you should see it all about him going on the road live. 15:22.800 --> 15:22.900 Yeah. 15:22.920 --> 15:26.502 But the thing that happened during the Chris Rock show was I was given quite a nice seat. 15:26.522 --> 15:34.028 I got a freebie ticket, but I was sort of sitting on my own in the middle of the stalls, you know, that road that's by the kind of walkway, by the aisle. 15:34.208 --> 15:34.908 My favourite road. 15:35.049 --> 15:37.050 Lots of legroom, but people are always walking past you. 15:37.250 --> 15:38.191 There was no one sitting around me. 15:38.231 --> 15:40.993 I thought, brilliant, this is kind of like having a box. 15:41.193 --> 15:44.736 Then just before Chris Rock came on, a whole lot of people came in and sat beside me. 15:44.996 --> 15:48.359 And Mark Lamar came and sat right, right, literally beside me. 15:48.379 --> 15:49.440 Radio 2's Mark Lamar? 15:49.500 --> 15:50.501 Yeah, very small seats. 15:50.561 --> 15:53.063 So I was literally pressed right up against Lamar. 15:53.103 --> 15:54.204 Oh, you're right next to Lamar? 15:54.264 --> 15:55.425 Literally shoulder to shoulder. 15:55.825 --> 16:00.989 The whole left side of my body touching Lamar in a slightly inappropriate, you know, manner. 16:01.089 --> 16:02.590 Wearing a... Is he wearing a suit? 16:02.790 --> 16:03.530 He's looking cool. 16:03.650 --> 16:10.274 He's got to, you know... So, the gig starts and I say, hey Mark, how you doing? 16:10.294 --> 16:11.355 He looks at me kind of baffled. 16:11.375 --> 16:12.556 We met a couple of times before. 16:12.656 --> 16:13.336 Long time ago, yeah. 16:13.356 --> 16:14.097 I said, Joe Cornish. 16:14.297 --> 16:15.797 And he goes, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember. 16:15.838 --> 16:16.878 Sorry, I haven't got my glasses on. 16:17.078 --> 16:17.879 I'm a little bit blind. 16:18.379 --> 16:19.059 The show starts. 16:19.900 --> 16:28.445 Chris Rock makes a joke about... One or two observations about Britain and about how strong the British currency is and Chris Rock goes, you know whoever's looking after your money, you should keep that guy in power. 16:28.985 --> 16:29.145 Right. 16:29.165 --> 16:31.087 He's not from where that accent comes from. 16:31.107 --> 16:32.087 That was a bad accent. 16:32.107 --> 16:32.928 That was pretty good, I thought. 16:32.968 --> 16:33.348 Yeah, thank you. 16:33.368 --> 16:34.149 It was a good Chris Wright. 16:34.389 --> 16:35.130 The room boos. 16:35.450 --> 16:35.630 Right. 16:35.750 --> 16:41.334 Because, of course, people generally don't necessarily like the government at the moment, so the audience booed. 16:41.695 --> 16:42.715 I booed as well. 16:42.996 --> 16:43.176 Yeah. 16:43.196 --> 16:45.377 The Marr turned to me and said, did you boo? 16:46.738 --> 16:47.639 I went, yeah? 16:48.659 --> 16:49.640 He said, don't do it again. 16:50.300 --> 16:50.940 No. 16:51.020 --> 16:51.540 Turned away. 16:51.560 --> 16:53.161 I was confused. 16:53.241 --> 16:53.741 I was upset. 16:53.781 --> 16:55.062 I felt like I'd been ticked off. 16:55.082 --> 16:55.782 Was he joking? 16:55.942 --> 16:56.523 I don't know. 16:56.543 --> 16:59.964 It kind of threw a bucket of water over my enjoyment of the gig. 17:00.524 --> 17:03.746 And then I continued to be physically pressed against him. 17:03.946 --> 17:04.266 Right. 17:04.366 --> 17:05.046 You just went dull up. 17:05.066 --> 17:06.187 It was really quite odd. 17:06.247 --> 17:10.369 Ticked off by Lamar and then expected to enjoy subversive comedy. 17:11.930 --> 17:17.818 And then there was this sort of weird laughter competition I felt, maybe it was just in my head between me and Lamar. 17:18.299 --> 17:25.629 You know, because there's obviously a lot of observational black comedy and as a white man, you know, you're not quite how hard to laugh. 17:25.649 --> 17:26.009 Are you white? 17:26.029 --> 17:27.451 Yeah, I know it doesn't seem like it. 17:28.052 --> 17:29.494 I always assumed you were black, I'm sorry. 17:29.514 --> 17:29.754 Yeah, no. 17:30.094 --> 17:30.394 I might. 17:30.875 --> 17:34.979 And there's a lot of jokes about, you know, the difference between a black man and a black woman and that kind of thing. 17:34.999 --> 17:37.522 And as a white man, you're not really sure how hard to laugh, you know? 17:37.662 --> 17:37.862 Yeah. 17:37.982 --> 17:41.265 How much culturally you've got invested, how much you're allowed to laugh at that kind of thing. 17:41.285 --> 17:43.067 Right, you don't want to look like you're trying too hard. 17:43.247 --> 17:43.427 No. 17:43.447 --> 17:45.830 Because what would that say about your latent prejudices? 17:45.850 --> 17:46.771 Yeah, but I think, what the hell? 17:46.791 --> 17:47.572 I'll just chuckle along. 17:47.732 --> 17:47.892 Right. 17:47.912 --> 17:49.153 I find it funny, I'll just have a giggle. 17:49.433 --> 17:50.154 That's a nice attitude. 17:50.174 --> 17:50.935 The mob wasn't laughing. 17:51.195 --> 17:51.375 No. 17:51.475 --> 17:52.816 I don't think he thought it was a good gig. 17:53.236 --> 17:54.937 I don't think he liked the fact that I was laughing. 17:55.497 --> 18:00.760 Man, he's way ahead of Chris Rock politically, and he's thinking this is not good enough from Rock. 18:00.840 --> 18:05.183 I felt like me and Lamar were having a sort of who appreciates black culture the best word. 18:05.223 --> 18:05.463 Right. 18:05.723 --> 18:08.345 You know, as expressed in the amount both of us laughed. 18:08.385 --> 18:08.645 Yeah. 18:09.105 --> 18:11.106 like when Chris Rock made a joke about T-Pain. 18:11.126 --> 18:12.246 Do you know who T-Pain is? 18:12.286 --> 18:12.706 No idea. 18:12.766 --> 18:13.526 He's like a rapper. 18:13.947 --> 18:16.447 I laughed quite hard because I know who T-Pain is. 18:17.048 --> 18:18.588 Lamar didn't really laugh that much. 18:18.668 --> 18:19.288 He knows his rapper. 18:19.308 --> 18:20.409 He doesn't know who T-Pain is. 18:20.469 --> 18:20.749 I know. 18:20.809 --> 18:21.549 I think he knows his rapper. 18:21.569 --> 18:24.450 When it comes to black music, Lamar is superb. 18:24.490 --> 18:25.350 He's an expert. 18:25.970 --> 18:27.211 Anyway, difficult gig there. 18:27.831 --> 18:28.772 That's tough, man. 18:28.852 --> 18:30.794 And did you kiss and make up on the way out? 18:31.114 --> 18:31.895 No, I blanked him. 18:31.915 --> 18:33.556 I blanked him? 18:33.576 --> 18:34.557 My lordy. 18:34.857 --> 18:37.039 Not on purpose, but there were other people to my right. 18:37.320 --> 18:38.701 Duncan from BAFTA was there. 18:39.241 --> 18:40.763 So I said hello to Duncan from BAFTA. 18:40.783 --> 18:41.964 Good old Duncan from BAFTA. 18:42.064 --> 18:44.446 I bet he didn't say goodbye to Mark. 18:44.626 --> 18:45.907 But I'm sure Mark was just joking. 18:46.408 --> 18:47.489 And I'm very sensitive. 18:47.949 --> 18:49.510 You know, I'm like a little weed. 18:53.275 --> 18:56.420 Now it's almost time to launch Text the Nation, ladies and gentlemen. 18:56.680 --> 18:58.663 I think we'll do that after this next track. 18:58.783 --> 18:59.804 I don't think I've heard this one. 18:59.845 --> 19:02.208 Is this... I'm always confused. 19:02.288 --> 19:04.151 Oh yes, his sons and daughters is the band, right? 19:04.231 --> 19:05.833 And the track is called Darling. 19:06.013 --> 19:06.974 That's very nice, isn't it? 19:07.014 --> 19:08.235 Clap your hands, say yeah. 19:08.495 --> 19:13.600 That song was called Upon This Tidal Wave of Young Blood, which is not so nice as a title. 19:14.161 --> 19:16.643 A tidal wave of young blood. 19:17.584 --> 19:22.549 That's like a kind of juvenile army being horribly slaughtered with broad swords. 19:22.729 --> 19:23.470 That's a good song. 19:23.510 --> 19:28.034 I don't feel personally that they did, they sort of missed the point of their own song there. 19:28.134 --> 19:28.655 There's your thing. 19:28.755 --> 19:32.739 Yeah, because you remember we played the song when it came out. 19:32.939 --> 19:35.242 And it was more sort of jubilant and shouty. 19:35.282 --> 19:41.729 Yeah, it's very shouty and it's got a great long bit where it just goes child stars, child stars, child stars, child stars, child stars, child stars. 19:42.009 --> 19:43.911 You see it repeats that phrase over and over again. 19:43.992 --> 19:44.772 Child stars. 19:44.913 --> 19:45.934 Is that what it's about? 19:46.394 --> 19:46.914 Kind of, yeah. 19:47.454 --> 19:52.116 And he sounds insane when he's doing it, but in a very successful way. 19:52.176 --> 19:55.098 And you don't have that section there in the hub version. 19:55.218 --> 20:01.540 Anyway, no disrespect to the Clap Your Hands brigade or the hub or anyone involved with either of those two. 20:01.640 --> 20:04.341 Right now, it's time to launch the nation's favorite feature. 20:04.361 --> 20:06.102 Here's the jingle. 20:07.273 --> 20:08.034 Text the nation, Jingle. 20:08.835 --> 20:10.897 Okay, here it is! 20:11.999 --> 20:12.820 Text the nation! 20:12.860 --> 20:13.160 Text! 20:13.240 --> 20:13.520 Text! 20:13.580 --> 20:13.941 Text! 20:14.041 --> 20:14.782 Text the nation! 20:14.842 --> 20:15.823 What if I don't want to? 20:16.063 --> 20:16.804 Text the nation! 20:16.864 --> 20:17.885 But I'm using email. 20:18.066 --> 20:18.766 Is that a problem? 20:18.806 --> 20:19.367 It doesn't matter! 20:19.387 --> 20:19.647 Text! 20:22.276 --> 20:26.918 Uh, will you allow me just to mop up some emails that have come in from last week's Texanation? 20:26.958 --> 20:27.539 I love mopping. 20:27.559 --> 20:34.222 Which was ways that you mangle famous people's names, uh, in order to kind of, uh, sort of wrest some kind of power back. 20:35.402 --> 20:37.323 Uh, here's one from Matthew Kumar. 20:37.563 --> 20:40.064 He says, we call M. Night Shyamalan. 20:40.185 --> 20:40.565 Uh-huh. 20:40.705 --> 20:42.666 He's just, that's just asking to be mangled, isn't it? 20:42.686 --> 20:43.126 Begging for it. 20:43.406 --> 20:44.967 I call him M. Night Shyawadiwadi. 20:46.827 --> 20:48.348 I call him M. Night Charlatan. 20:48.568 --> 20:48.988 Do you? 20:49.028 --> 20:49.408 Yes. 20:49.468 --> 20:51.229 Oh, that's, that's bobbed. 20:51.549 --> 20:52.289 I called it to him. 20:52.309 --> 20:55.590 I call it him to his face and he fell over. 20:55.831 --> 20:56.131 Did he? 20:56.231 --> 20:56.791 He fell over. 20:56.811 --> 20:58.411 He couldn't even stand up after that. 20:59.192 --> 21:03.133 Matthew Kumar says he calls M. Oh, what is that sound? 21:04.273 --> 21:05.914 It comes drifting over the mountains. 21:06.880 --> 21:08.621 It causes me to lose concentration. 21:08.681 --> 21:09.341 Oh, sorry, mate. 21:10.201 --> 21:11.462 You asked me to bring it in this week. 21:11.482 --> 21:13.863 Yeah, that's too exciting to do in the middle of that email. 21:13.883 --> 21:14.603 That was the mouth-hop. 21:14.623 --> 21:15.664 I can't focus now. 21:15.744 --> 21:16.064 Sorry, mate. 21:16.104 --> 21:20.606 Anyway, M Night Shyamalan calls him M Night Shyamalan-ding-dong. 21:20.706 --> 21:21.947 Oh, that's very similar to yours. 21:22.247 --> 21:22.887 It's good, isn't it? 21:23.167 --> 21:23.267 Mm. 21:23.587 --> 21:23.947 Yeah. 21:23.988 --> 21:24.888 M Night Charlatan. 21:25.408 --> 21:26.708 Here's another good one that made me laugh. 21:26.748 --> 21:30.909 Rich Price says, we used to call Hugh Andrews huge android. 21:30.949 --> 21:31.670 It's hilarious. 21:32.090 --> 21:35.550 If you're wondering who Hugh Andrews is, he used to work for a company I used to work for. 21:35.570 --> 21:38.271 I like that. 21:38.311 --> 21:39.471 Anyway, there's a couple more. 21:39.571 --> 21:39.871 Hang on. 21:39.911 --> 21:40.152 Yes. 21:40.192 --> 21:45.473 Sarah Jessica Parker says, Nicola Stockle calls her Sarah dressed up as a car park. 21:45.853 --> 21:46.273 Nice. 21:46.353 --> 21:46.833 That's good. 21:46.873 --> 21:48.934 I like ones that are kind of over elaborate. 21:49.014 --> 21:50.234 Helena Bonham Carter. 21:51.363 --> 21:53.665 Helena, Helena Bottoms of Farter. 21:54.065 --> 21:55.086 That's quite good. 21:55.126 --> 21:56.186 And you know what? 21:56.246 --> 21:58.148 A Scottish friend of mine calls Madonna. 21:58.328 --> 21:58.588 What? 21:59.048 --> 21:59.549 Monana. 22:00.549 --> 22:01.210 Is that rude? 22:01.430 --> 22:03.171 As in, like, she's like my nana. 22:04.712 --> 22:05.233 You know what I mean? 22:05.433 --> 22:05.873 That's good. 22:05.893 --> 22:06.593 Oh, it's my nana. 22:07.474 --> 22:08.054 I like that one. 22:08.335 --> 22:14.199 Claire McIlrath, I hope I've pronounced that correctly, calls Avril Lavigne, Bovril Latrine. 22:14.439 --> 22:14.779 Nice. 22:15.139 --> 22:15.440 Yeah? 22:15.580 --> 22:16.380 That'll teach her a lesson. 22:16.400 --> 22:17.541 Give us a bit of jaw harp action. 22:18.382 --> 22:19.482 Sorry, I didn't mean to get this. 22:19.562 --> 22:20.323 That's a big inhale. 22:23.342 --> 22:24.864 This is my Christmas present from Joe. 22:24.884 --> 22:25.365 Play a tune. 22:25.545 --> 22:26.146 What shall I play? 22:26.826 --> 22:27.848 Play! 22:28.489 --> 22:29.570 What's number one at the moment? 22:30.171 --> 22:30.711 I wouldn't know. 22:30.932 --> 22:32.794 I wouldn't even know what the tune was. 22:33.335 --> 22:34.897 Just play any recognisable tune. 22:34.917 --> 22:35.557 Okay, Killer Queen. 22:40.640 --> 22:41.560 Why did I pick Killer Queen? 22:41.640 --> 22:42.980 It's very difficult, isn't it? 22:43.000 --> 22:43.701 That's good, that's good. 22:43.741 --> 22:44.761 Keep practicing. 22:44.841 --> 22:45.581 That's great stuff. 22:46.101 --> 22:49.642 But now it's time for this week's Text the Nation, which is on the following subject. 22:49.682 --> 22:52.562 And remember, the idea for Text the Nation is fairly straightforward. 22:52.842 --> 22:56.523 We give you a subject and you text us with your kind of input on it. 22:56.563 --> 22:57.263 The text number is 64046. 22:59.043 --> 23:06.825 And this week's subject is things, pop-cultural things that you encountered when you were too young and they freaked you out. 23:07.165 --> 23:09.406 They sort of traumatized you, for whatever reason. 23:09.627 --> 23:20.013 Now, I would cite as my examples, aged, I think, 10, going to a video shop and renting a double bill of The Exorcist and Zombie Flesh Eaters. 23:20.153 --> 23:21.674 What were your parents doing? 23:22.174 --> 23:25.436 It was my friend, Jolyon Parsons' parents, and they were out. 23:25.776 --> 23:26.937 Oh my goodness. 23:26.997 --> 23:30.199 Back in those days, there were no certificates on video. 23:30.359 --> 23:32.862 Right, so we were able to rent those two horrible stuff. 23:32.882 --> 23:33.783 Double video nasties! 23:33.863 --> 23:36.967 I had the most unpleasant, sleepless night of my life. 23:36.987 --> 23:37.687 Of course you did! 23:38.008 --> 23:38.649 Horrible! 23:39.129 --> 23:40.771 Oh my lord, and you watched both of the films. 23:40.791 --> 23:41.532 Yeah, double bill. 23:42.012 --> 23:47.198 Thing number two I would cite would be going to see the National Theatre's production of 23:48.199 --> 24:07.650 the creation it was a kind of Bible stories thing it was a promenade performance where you could walk around I was very young I was sat cross legged on the floor they wheeled a big tub of earth into the area out of the tub of earth popped a naked man and a naked lady right it was right in front of my eyes 24:09.431 --> 24:12.073 It's in the way of my eyes! 24:12.093 --> 24:16.357 His little jingly jangly collection with little bits of earth dropping off it. 24:16.457 --> 24:19.839 I can still remember her, you know, bits and bobs. 24:19.919 --> 24:20.800 Her seaweed. 24:20.980 --> 24:24.863 The third thing I would cite is reading James Herbert's The Fog. 24:25.463 --> 24:26.183 Oh, I remember that one. 24:26.203 --> 24:27.884 Of course, there's no certificates on books. 24:28.284 --> 24:32.585 James Herbert... Kids can read anything, and I discovered that very young and started buying horror novels. 24:32.685 --> 24:41.987 And there's a bit in a gym with a gym teacher and a group of kids and a big pair of scissors that really shouldn't be read by kids of my age. 24:42.067 --> 24:45.188 He was the big guy to read it at school because it was so grotesque. 24:45.288 --> 24:46.949 Also, there was a lot of filth in there. 24:47.449 --> 24:47.569 Yeah. 24:47.589 --> 24:50.389 Like he had long passages of quite explicit filth. 24:50.609 --> 24:52.470 What would you go for, Adam, on that subject? 24:53.850 --> 24:59.332 Well, in a sort of banal way, my whole young life was dominated by the threat of nuclear extinction. 24:59.712 --> 24:59.932 Right. 25:00.272 --> 25:05.893 And so it was all just loads of documentaries about Hiroshima and stuff. 25:05.973 --> 25:10.354 And, you know, the CND movement was stuff like When the Wind Blows and Threads. 25:10.374 --> 25:11.315 Yeah, exactly. 25:11.555 --> 25:15.856 All that kind of nuclear annihilation stuff was at its most 25:16.716 --> 25:32.127 Active when I was about 10 or 11 or something and I just couldn't I just couldn't bear it I was just wandering around thinking well We're all gonna die in the worst most horrific possible way imaginable and no one's really doing anything about it You know and what's more my parents who are quite conservative 25:33.808 --> 25:41.797 were sort of poo-pooing all of the CND stuff and pouring scorn on the Greenham Common protesters and I just didn't understand why! 25:41.817 --> 25:47.223 I just thought they've got the right idea, what are we, we can't do anything about it, we're all gonna die, it's gonna be awesome! 25:47.243 --> 25:47.904 Maybe you were right. 25:48.404 --> 25:50.747 Now it's all starting again with the government going nuclear. 25:50.987 --> 25:51.487 Yeah, man. 25:51.527 --> 25:52.467 It's all happening again. 25:52.487 --> 25:54.448 Well, they should show those programs again, man. 25:54.488 --> 25:54.888 They will. 25:55.168 --> 25:56.868 Traumatise a whole new generation. 25:57.048 --> 26:05.190 So text us with pop cultural things that you encountered too young and freaked you out and tell us, you know, how they freaked you out and what happened, what the consequences were. 26:05.510 --> 26:16.452 You know, whether you've turned into some sort of an axe murderer, whether you have flashbacks, text 64046 or email adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk Right now, here's a track that I've chosen for you listeners. 26:16.792 --> 26:20.013 I'm sure this one probably gets played quite a lot on 6 Music and 26:20.253 --> 26:21.834 Many other radio stations, but it's a peach. 26:22.095 --> 26:29.961 It came on my iPod over Christmas when I was, you know, sat down with some friends, and it sounded amazing! 26:29.981 --> 26:31.062 I just thought, what is this? 26:31.142 --> 26:33.264 I can't, you know, I'd forgotten how good this one was. 26:33.344 --> 26:38.328 It's a good one to dance to in a club, and it's an old sort of 60s psychedelic classic from The Count Five. 26:38.368 --> 26:39.610 This is psychotic reaction. 26:39.910 --> 26:40.430 There you go. 26:40.590 --> 26:41.751 That's excellent stuff, isn't it? 26:41.871 --> 26:43.513 Hot chip with ready for the floor. 26:43.833 --> 26:45.054 Couldn't really ask for more. 26:45.094 --> 26:45.935 Could you from a song? 26:46.155 --> 26:50.899 Hotchips UK tour kicks off at Leicester University on the 14th of February. 26:50.940 --> 26:54.082 Their new album Made in the Dark is also out next month. 26:54.563 --> 26:56.084 Thank you very much, Johnny Facts. 26:58.226 --> 27:01.049 Johnny Music Facts there in the corner of the room. 27:01.569 --> 27:02.910 He's full of music facts. 27:02.930 --> 27:04.772 Music facts. 27:04.972 --> 27:07.134 Give us another music fact, Johnny Music Facts. 27:07.234 --> 27:09.837 Queen word of band with Freddie Mercury in it. 27:10.980 --> 27:15.743 Always a source of interesting entertainment nuggets there, Johnny Music Facts. 27:16.524 --> 27:24.088 Now folks, I don't know about you, but I've always been worried about some of the factual inaccuracies in the Bible. 27:25.369 --> 27:26.470 How do you feel about that, Joe? 27:26.870 --> 27:29.112 That's territory I steer clear of. 27:29.612 --> 27:37.939 Well, you know, because it could shake your faith if you found out that there were discrepancies in reports between various apostles and that kind of thing. 27:37.959 --> 27:38.660 Do you know what I'm saying? 27:39.621 --> 27:48.928 And luckily, a magazine came through my door via the Jehovah's Witnesses this week called AWAKE, which is dealing with a lot of the anxieties. 27:48.948 --> 27:52.431 We have a lot of listeners who are Jehovah's Witnesses, so tread carefully. 27:52.651 --> 27:53.291 Oh, absolutely. 27:53.311 --> 27:55.072 Got a big Jehovah's Witness fan base. 27:55.132 --> 28:00.815 I know, and they're very violent as well, so I wouldn't want to disrespect them or stir up any kind of religious war. 28:01.296 --> 28:03.557 But this is from Awake magazine. 28:03.637 --> 28:04.838 Adam Buxton speaking now. 28:04.998 --> 28:05.838 November issue. 28:05.978 --> 28:06.839 Adam Buxton speaking. 28:06.939 --> 28:08.400 Alright, Mr. Cutlass. 28:09.440 --> 28:10.621 It's not exactly the Muslims. 28:10.641 --> 28:11.901 We don't have to worry about it too much. 28:11.981 --> 28:12.862 Adam Buxton speaking. 28:15.043 --> 28:16.364 That was a joke, okay? 28:16.384 --> 28:17.765 That was just a little joke there for you. 28:17.785 --> 28:19.526 When you say joke, he didn't mean joke hornish. 28:19.946 --> 28:22.328 Adam Buxton speaking there. 28:22.368 --> 28:26.851 No disrespect to any religious group whatsoever, especially- Adam Buxton backpedaling there. 28:28.392 --> 28:29.393 Especially, yeah. 28:29.933 --> 28:31.094 Anyway, especially the violent ones. 28:32.255 --> 28:34.397 But this is from Awake. 28:35.317 --> 28:51.376 Oh wait, Maxie, which I was gonna quote as a little light-hearted thing, but now, because of your constant, uh, you've made this into, like, a religious war, I'm frightened now to be handling Awake, all I wanted to tell you was that they're just dealing with some very simple discrepancies in the Bible here. 28:52.638 --> 28:54.179 or perceived discrepancies. 28:55.040 --> 28:57.842 For example, reasons to trust the Bible, they're saying. 28:58.423 --> 29:06.631 Now, maybe you would be worried, as I said before, about the fact that there might be discrepancies, reasonable differences between various accounts of Jesus' life. 29:07.071 --> 29:08.392 Says here, consider an example. 29:08.833 --> 29:13.357 Did Jesus wear a purple garment on the day of his death, as Mark and John report? 29:14.377 --> 29:29.986 or was it scarlet as Matthew says now you I know you've been very worried about I can't stop thinking about that exactly well really knows the row exactly really cuz you know you can't believe in someone if there's people saying well maybe his robe was red maybe it was scarlet if it's 29:30.086 --> 29:31.287 By which colour was it? 29:31.647 --> 29:34.349 I just... I'm finding it hard to believe in the Messiah. 29:34.370 --> 29:36.932 I regard wrong-coloured robes as sacrilegious. 29:37.132 --> 29:37.632 Exactly. 29:38.093 --> 29:43.477 Well, don't worry about it, because it says in Awake magazine, really both can be correct. 29:43.877 --> 29:45.919 Purple has components of red in it. 29:46.239 --> 29:55.126 Depending on the observer's angle of view, light reflection and background, could have subdued certain hues, giving different casts to the garment. 29:55.346 --> 29:56.527 I love subduing hues. 29:56.788 --> 29:57.148 Yeah. 29:57.448 --> 29:58.969 Well, Hugh needs a bit of subduing. 29:58.989 --> 29:59.590 Yeah, he goes on. 29:59.910 --> 30:00.631 He really does. 30:00.731 --> 30:08.100 The harmony of the Bible writers, including their unintentional consistency, further stamps their writings as trustworthy. 30:08.541 --> 30:08.821 Yeah? 30:08.901 --> 30:09.743 Nice finger click. 30:09.883 --> 30:11.685 Well, it deserves it. 30:11.705 --> 30:12.386 So there you go. 30:12.486 --> 30:14.088 It's cleared something up for you there. 30:14.989 --> 30:16.370 Are you still a little bit... The colour of the robe. 30:16.390 --> 30:17.231 Yeah, the colour of the robe. 30:17.271 --> 30:23.036 I'm happy, I think, for just a comment about the colour of a robe, you got yourself into a lot of unnecessary hot water. 30:23.176 --> 30:24.097 I got myself! 30:24.678 --> 30:26.739 Well, I kind of manoeuvred you into it, cleverly. 30:27.160 --> 30:28.721 You pushed me into the hot water. 30:28.881 --> 30:34.086 Listen, listeners, if you're trying to text us on Text the Nation, there's been a technical problem and we've received no texts. 30:34.386 --> 30:35.507 at all here in the studio. 30:35.547 --> 30:36.507 We're trying to sort that out. 30:36.547 --> 30:37.148 It's a scandal. 30:37.328 --> 30:43.331 With the big British castle, technical department, nation's favourite feature and you can't even text. 30:43.431 --> 30:55.078 You've got to remember that here at the big British castle, the technical department, it's basically got alchemists and big wooden cogs, various children and brads on treadmills. 30:55.298 --> 30:55.579 What? 30:55.719 --> 30:56.119 Wizards. 30:56.419 --> 30:57.340 Wizards, yeah. 30:57.780 --> 30:58.580 That's what they're called. 30:58.800 --> 30:59.021 Are they? 31:00.201 --> 31:07.609 So it's no wonder things break down every now and then, you know, the little trained cats that operate the mechanisms are maybe feeling a bit sickly. 31:08.170 --> 31:09.651 So, but we'll get that going soon. 31:09.691 --> 31:11.053 Don't forget, you can also email. 31:11.093 --> 31:17.819 That's probably the best way to contact us with your childhood pop-cultural traumas, Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 31:18.020 --> 31:20.082 We'll inform you the moment the texts come back online. 31:20.442 --> 31:24.305 Now here's some more music from the Maximo Park with books from boxes. 31:24.825 --> 31:27.508 Maximo Park with books from boxes. 31:27.668 --> 31:30.390 What a wonderful sound they have, the park. 31:30.870 --> 31:42.319 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music and right now it's, we would like to just remind listeners that if you've been trying to text for Text the Nation, the Nation's favourite feature, there has been a problem with the texts. 31:42.759 --> 31:45.822 Problem is now fixed, however, if you texted 31:46.882 --> 31:51.926 Uh, sort of, before, about five minutes ago, you will have to resend if you do want us to read your text. 31:51.946 --> 31:52.686 Oh, we do apologise. 31:52.766 --> 31:53.667 It's not our fault. 31:53.927 --> 31:57.329 But on behalf of the big British castle, we apologise for that technical failure. 31:57.729 --> 31:59.551 It's, uh, it's actually Joe's fault. 32:00.051 --> 32:00.311 Is this? 32:00.451 --> 32:00.792 Yeah. 32:01.112 --> 32:02.453 It's Joe Cornish's fault. 32:02.813 --> 32:04.354 I don't know, I'm just blaming you randomly. 32:04.594 --> 32:05.414 Yeah, it's good. 32:05.474 --> 32:06.755 No, I'll take the blame. 32:07.275 --> 32:08.015 It was my fault. 32:08.035 --> 32:09.455 Yeah, it was my fault. 32:10.015 --> 32:10.815 So keep texting 64046. 32:10.956 --> 32:15.217 It's all working fine now with your childhood pop cultural traumas. 32:15.697 --> 32:19.297 Now it's time to launch this week's Song Wars. 32:20.778 --> 32:22.698 It's time for Song Wars. 32:23.238 --> 32:24.719 The War of the Songs. 32:25.299 --> 32:25.799 A couple 32:37.993 --> 32:44.200 So, sorry, Dick Thompson, about the bad grammar there, but we just decided that, uh... That has more joie de vivre. 32:44.241 --> 32:46.203 Yeah, the production's a little bit better there. 32:46.283 --> 32:47.825 What's the opposite of joie de vivre? 32:48.666 --> 32:50.128 Uh, it's en nuit de vivre. 32:50.508 --> 32:50.749 Is it? 32:51.129 --> 32:52.090 Probably not. 32:52.230 --> 32:52.670 Thanks a lot. 32:52.730 --> 32:53.011 Thanks a lot. 32:53.031 --> 32:53.771 That would have done me. 32:54.232 --> 33:05.662 So I can't quite remember how we got ourselves into this mess, but last week we decided to do songs about mythical creatures, cryptozoological phenomena, like Bigfoot and Nessie. 33:05.702 --> 33:07.844 Well, we were talking about the police, weren't we? 33:07.884 --> 33:13.929 The band, the police, the fact that they reformed and we were reminiscing about one of our favourite police albums, Synchronicity. 33:14.349 --> 33:16.910 which we're about to play a track from in a second. 33:17.250 --> 33:21.171 So we decided to divvy up the mythical beasts and do a song about one each. 33:21.651 --> 33:23.731 I love mythical beasts and monsters generally. 33:24.852 --> 33:27.432 You know, I just like to believe that they exist. 33:27.792 --> 33:29.913 Yeah, you're a big fan of cryptozoology, aren't you? 33:29.953 --> 33:33.974 Well, they're the last little bit of kind of magic in the world, aren't they? 33:34.534 --> 33:37.736 Yes, well, it's a sort of X-Files thing, isn't it? 33:38.256 --> 33:39.797 Mmm, it's early X-Files. 33:39.817 --> 33:45.640 The X-Files became very lost, and in the first couple of series it used to do that kind of thing, but then it abandoned it. 33:45.660 --> 33:51.843 I think, you know, just mentioning the X-Files, Adam, to be perfectly honest, is a reductive and diminishing thing for the monsters. 33:52.263 --> 33:52.564 Yeah. 33:52.584 --> 33:56.326 You know, the X-Files is a tiny kind of parasite on the idea of monsters. 33:56.666 --> 33:58.287 The monsters themselves are far more powerful. 33:58.307 --> 33:59.807 You used to love the X-Files. 33:59.827 --> 34:00.348 I did, yeah. 34:00.988 --> 34:02.650 What's happened with you and the X-Files? 34:02.670 --> 34:03.591 Have you had, like, a fight? 34:03.611 --> 34:04.512 That's a different conversation. 34:04.532 --> 34:06.014 The X-Files went down the toilet. 34:06.034 --> 34:07.816 Is that a bit of an argument with the X-Files? 34:07.956 --> 34:08.677 I have, yeah. 34:08.817 --> 34:09.058 I have. 34:09.658 --> 34:10.960 That went very wrong. 34:11.140 --> 34:12.341 So which creature did you pick? 34:12.622 --> 34:13.923 I've chosen Bigfoot. 34:14.064 --> 34:15.725 Because I bagged the Loch Ness Monster. 34:16.286 --> 34:17.147 And I wish I hadn't. 34:17.847 --> 34:18.127 Really? 34:18.187 --> 34:18.848 Oh my goodness. 34:18.868 --> 34:25.872 In fact, Adam and I met yesterday on different business and Adam was looking very sort of sad and fused. 34:26.072 --> 34:28.414 It was about four in the afternoon. 34:28.434 --> 34:29.134 Four in the afternoon. 34:29.154 --> 34:31.116 And he asked me, have you done your song yet? 34:31.956 --> 34:32.857 I said, yes, I have. 34:32.877 --> 34:33.938 I hadn't even started. 34:33.958 --> 34:34.999 He hadn't even started. 34:35.039 --> 34:36.360 Got home at 5.30. 34:37.380 --> 34:38.441 It went badly, man. 34:38.481 --> 34:39.702 It was really hard. 34:39.762 --> 34:41.543 It was like, it was the most difficult one. 34:41.563 --> 34:42.904 I'm going to lose pretty much. 34:42.924 --> 34:43.405 You think? 34:43.485 --> 34:43.845 Yeah. 34:43.905 --> 34:45.366 You're setting yourself up for a win. 34:45.626 --> 34:46.907 Yeah, you are. 34:46.927 --> 34:48.649 My reverse psychology theories. 34:49.989 --> 34:51.850 No, it's a disastrous one. 34:51.890 --> 34:53.111 Shall I go first or do you want to go first? 34:53.131 --> 34:53.571 Don't mind. 34:54.511 --> 34:59.073 Listen man, I've got so little faith in mind that I'm gonna weed it out first and people can make it what they will. 34:59.093 --> 35:00.133 So yours is about Nessie. 35:00.433 --> 35:00.794 Yeah. 35:01.054 --> 35:02.514 Is it about Nessie? 35:04.155 --> 35:05.455 You know, I don't know. 35:06.056 --> 35:06.536 See what you think. 35:06.556 --> 35:07.036 What's it called? 35:08.136 --> 35:09.337 The Loch Ness Monster Song. 35:10.197 --> 35:11.418 I mean it's just, no. 35:11.438 --> 35:13.379 I get that title, I understand it. 35:13.579 --> 35:13.959 Alright then. 35:13.979 --> 35:14.359 Let's hear it. 35:19.375 --> 35:32.534 My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse I live in a lot called Ness I've lived in here for hundreds of years It's relatively free from stress But every now and then someone comes along and tries to take my pick 35:33.336 --> 35:51.313 But even when they do people look and say No I think that's just a stick But I don't care what people say As long as they leave me be To swim around and eat some plants It's boring but at least I'm free Sometimes I can get in trubs if I go for a walk 35:52.253 --> 35:58.879 People tend to see a big fish horse and then they start to talk They say can we do an interview? 35:59.039 --> 36:10.070 Half an hour is all we need We can pay you lots of money But I'm not into greed They offered me a pot in a Hollywood film They said this is gonna be big 36:10.956 --> 36:33.556 But it was just Ted Danson wearing a frightening wig In 2003 the BBC came and did extensive tests They came to the conclusion that I don't exist which made me quite depressed Cos my name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse, I live in a Scottish lake I've lived in here for hundreds of years so I don't see how I can be fake 36:34.557 --> 36:52.352 Just cause I don't go parading around Like a giant horsefish pond People seem to think I'm up myself And I get labelled a monster I was gonna do Big Brother Depending on who else they got But when I saw the extras Christmas special I thought well maybe not 36:53.368 --> 37:15.889 My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse, I live in a log called Ness My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse, I live in a log called Ness My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse, I live in a log called Ness My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse, I live in a log called Ness My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse, I live in a log called Ness My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse, I live in a log called Ness My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse, I live in a log called Ness My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse, I live in a log called Ness My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse, I live in a log called Ness My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse, I live in a log called Ness My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse, I live in a log called Ness My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse, I live in 37:16.750 --> 37:17.571 Mike, yeah. 37:17.671 --> 37:18.031 Yeah. 37:18.492 --> 37:18.872 I like it. 37:18.892 --> 37:20.133 It's sort of a builder's name. 37:20.634 --> 37:21.014 Exactly. 37:21.074 --> 37:22.215 I thought he was a regular guy. 37:22.255 --> 37:25.078 Maybe someone who was a bit depressed about being labelled Nessie, you know. 37:25.399 --> 37:25.699 Yeah. 37:26.640 --> 37:31.424 I considered singing it in a Scottish accent and thought better of it. 37:31.605 --> 37:32.105 I like that. 37:32.145 --> 37:35.709 You know, that was really, um, maybe feel for Nessie. 37:35.889 --> 37:36.449 Yeah, good. 37:36.549 --> 37:37.871 And the situation. 37:38.531 --> 37:41.292 And I like the mention of the extras Christmas special. 37:41.512 --> 37:44.274 Well, I was thinking, you know, because that's made everyone think about nature. 37:44.314 --> 37:45.194 I know, I agree. 37:45.334 --> 37:50.476 I used to think Big Brother was great and he was really interesting until Ricky Gervais told me differently. 37:50.576 --> 37:51.417 That was really good. 37:51.797 --> 37:59.480 So, if you want that to win Song Wars this week, 64046, my Bigfoot songs can be a bit embarrassingly committed now. 37:59.720 --> 38:00.021 Is it? 38:00.201 --> 38:02.862 I went for a kind of a sort of a rock thing. 38:03.142 --> 38:03.382 Yeah. 38:03.402 --> 38:05.343 Kind of a funky rock thing and I think I pushed my 38:05.863 --> 38:07.043 Vocal skills to the limits. 38:07.163 --> 38:07.824 Oh, wow. 38:07.844 --> 38:08.284 I can't wait. 38:08.544 --> 38:09.684 Let's hear it. 38:09.704 --> 38:13.105 Yeah, here it is. 38:13.125 --> 38:15.526 Baby, let me take you down, too. 38:16.306 --> 38:19.607 It's us, what you want, too. 38:19.687 --> 38:22.568 Me little friend of mine goes by the name of Bigfoot. 38:22.608 --> 38:25.269 Gonna prick your arms out and pull your head off, baby. 38:25.309 --> 38:28.730 Honey, do not be afraid, too. 38:29.690 --> 38:31.911 Step into this cave, too. 38:33.571 --> 38:34.152 AHH! 39:03.251 --> 39:22.542 Like a twin twitch pack Oh, we could try and make a plastic cast But believe me, baby, we won't last No, a human being can run fast Enough to escape the creature that's that vast Believe it, I can understand you're scared to go You wanna click here? 39:22.602 --> 39:27.765 Samples and receptacles Don't believe the cryptozoological 39:28.385 --> 39:29.746 Wow, that's actually Bigfoot at the end. 39:29.826 --> 39:31.167 That's like the Mars Volta. 39:50.360 --> 39:52.903 That's amazing. 39:53.264 --> 39:54.145 That's so complex. 39:54.165 --> 39:55.967 You've gone to the next level on GarageBand. 39:55.987 --> 39:56.728 Do you think? 39:56.768 --> 39:57.389 Yeah. 39:57.749 --> 39:58.570 That's... wow. 39:58.890 --> 40:00.412 Were you standing up when you sang? 40:00.853 --> 40:03.356 I always stand up because the microphone's in the top of the computer. 40:03.376 --> 40:04.377 Gotta stand up, boy. 40:04.537 --> 40:06.419 I think my neighbours think I'm insane. 40:06.519 --> 40:07.240 Yeah, I bet they do. 40:07.901 --> 40:11.042 Because, like, when you record those things, you do it through the headphones. 40:11.082 --> 40:11.262 Yeah. 40:11.462 --> 40:14.024 You don't want the sound of the playback on the... Sure. 40:14.344 --> 40:17.545 So they just think... Oh, they can hear it singing very loud. 40:17.585 --> 40:18.125 Yowling. 40:19.226 --> 40:20.166 That's impressive. 40:20.546 --> 40:23.227 So that was Joe Cornish's Sasquatch song. 40:23.287 --> 40:24.348 Is it Sasquatch or Bigfoot? 40:24.368 --> 40:25.528 Bigfoot, yeah. 40:25.588 --> 40:26.829 The big Bigfoot song. 40:26.849 --> 40:27.909 The big Bigfoot song. 40:28.249 --> 40:29.450 Welcome to Saskatchewan. 40:29.830 --> 40:31.350 Yeah, yeah, maybe that's what it's called. 40:31.771 --> 40:32.271 I liked it. 40:32.291 --> 40:35.551 So if you want to vote for that one, 64046, vote Joe. 40:35.711 --> 40:42.953 Or if you want to vote for the song about... Oh, sorry, yeah, you've got an email, adamandjoe.6musicatpbc.co.uk. 40:43.894 --> 40:48.455 Or if you want to vote for Adam's song about Mike, The Lake Monster. 40:48.475 --> 40:49.355 The Loch Ness Monster. 40:50.055 --> 41:09.007 then then vote Adam Adam and joe dot six music at pvc dot co dot uk and but right now oh yes sorry available to re-listen to on our little area on the six music website from from monday morning or from after the show kind of thing from now ish oh my lord so if you're listening again you know you can listen again what 41:09.187 --> 41:13.308 But here's a reminder of the song that inspired all this cryptozoological song. 41:13.428 --> 41:13.988 I love this song. 41:14.008 --> 41:18.729 The song Smithory, one of our favourite songs from the classic album Synchronicity by the Police. 41:18.769 --> 41:19.769 This is Synchronicity 2. 41:19.829 --> 41:21.149 Yeah, there you go. 41:21.169 --> 41:22.530 The Police with Synchronicity 2. 41:22.610 --> 41:23.870 It's an absolute peach. 41:23.990 --> 41:25.090 Yeah, great song, that. 41:25.290 --> 41:29.851 We had an email as well, Ree Nessie, from Billy Duncan, who's an architect up in Edinburgh. 41:29.891 --> 41:35.912 He says, I'm afraid that your assertion that the Loch Ness Monster was a water horse and that such creatures are benign was somewhat misleading. 41:36.313 --> 41:38.173 In order that unwary listeners do not 41:38.573 --> 41:50.557 attempt to approach such creatures, I would draw your attention to the fact that water horses, or kelpies in Scottish legend, are dangerous and can drag any unsuspecting person foolish enough to touch or ride them to their doom. 41:51.157 --> 41:54.038 Now that was actually a myth that was put out. 41:54.198 --> 41:54.478 Oh what? 41:54.718 --> 41:55.398 It was a myth. 41:55.598 --> 41:57.119 What, the myth that you're not supposed to touch them? 41:57.199 --> 41:59.980 Of the kelpies, yeah, to keep children away from the edge of the lock. 42:00.880 --> 42:01.921 You're talking rubbish, Adam. 42:02.161 --> 42:02.401 Myth. 42:03.142 --> 42:03.582 Nonsense. 42:03.842 --> 42:20.695 You know, if you're anywhere near Edinburgh, there's a very fine, kind of interactive, Nessie visiting centre that you can go to in central Edinburgh, run by a fantastic, sort of bearded old scientist guy, or his son maybe, and they do a whole, like, 3D film all about Nessie. 42:20.735 --> 42:23.997 It's a kind of weird, sort of home-produced 3D film. 42:24.097 --> 42:24.378 Right. 42:24.938 --> 42:28.661 It's quite an eccentric place, but when I was last in Edinburgh, I visited it and I loved it. 42:28.901 --> 42:29.702 Oh, that sounds good. 42:30.803 --> 42:33.505 Listen, here's a bit of a free player quickie just before the news. 42:33.545 --> 42:36.568 This is Cody Chestnut from his album The Headphone Masterpiece. 42:36.588 --> 42:37.810 This is called Up in the Treehouse. 42:38.150 --> 42:42.234 It's time now for the news, ladies and gentlemen, read by Harvey Cooke and Lucio Doherty. 42:42.414 --> 42:43.375 What a frightful noise. 42:43.936 --> 42:46.959 That's the Dead Kennedys with California Uber Alice. 42:46.979 --> 42:50.382 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music right now. 42:52.967 --> 42:53.788 Text-a-nation! 42:53.848 --> 42:54.890 Text, text, text! 42:55.010 --> 42:55.751 Text-a-nation! 42:55.811 --> 42:56.792 What if I don't want to? 42:57.033 --> 42:57.754 Text-a-nation! 42:57.854 --> 42:58.875 But I'm using email! 42:59.035 --> 42:59.756 Is that a problem? 42:59.796 --> 43:00.617 It doesn't matter, text! 43:03.246 --> 43:08.190 Yes, it's Text the Nation, the nation's favourite feature as voted for by Chat Magazine. 43:09.071 --> 43:10.031 That's actually not true. 43:10.091 --> 43:10.752 No, that isn't true. 43:10.792 --> 43:11.552 But it sounds good. 43:11.713 --> 43:12.453 Sounds great. 43:12.513 --> 43:15.015 Yeah, Chat's one of the best mags in the world. 43:15.075 --> 43:20.779 Just to remind you, you know that in Scotland, chats is slang for a lady's breast area. 43:20.799 --> 43:21.080 Really? 43:21.140 --> 43:21.320 Yeah. 43:21.840 --> 43:29.186 One bit that Chris Rock did was he did a whole thing about how idiotic those women's magazines are, and he said in his house he treats them like pornography. 43:29.847 --> 43:36.554 If he sees a celebrity magazine is in his house, he just gets rid of them as if it's hardcore pornography quite right I agree. 43:36.834 --> 43:40.218 Oh, I thought you meant like he stuffed them under his bed So it's 43:44.403 --> 43:49.607 It's Text the Nation, and this week's theme is pop cultural things that freaked you out as a kid. 43:49.867 --> 44:00.033 And I have to make it clear that we're kind of looking for adult stuff that you saw too early, rather than, you know, monsters in Doctor Who that freaked you out, or kind of juvenile stuff that freaked you out. 44:00.053 --> 44:04.737 This is, you know, you're crossing the threshold of adult pop culture too early. 44:05.037 --> 44:13.723 You know, you've stumbled, your parents have gone out and you've watched telly late, you've accidentally rented a video out, you've picked up a book that you possibly shouldn't have. 44:14.603 --> 44:20.766 Here's one from Patrick Doyle. 44:20.826 --> 44:25.168 When I was about 11, I started watching video nasties around my friend Bradley's house. 44:26.349 --> 44:32.231 Video nasties were big news then, and Bradley, who was a bit of a rebel, had some mysterious way of obtaining them. 44:32.812 --> 44:37.794 One day we watched a nasty called Unhinged, which involved lots of people getting chopped up. 44:38.354 --> 44:46.097 It freaked me out so much that when I went home that night, I was forced to concoct an elaborate scheme to avoid having to go to bed in my own room. 44:46.797 --> 44:50.879 I got a hot water bottle, took it to bed with me, and secretly emptied it all over my bed. 44:51.339 --> 44:57.761 I went and told my parents that the hot water bottle had burst, and that I'd have to go to sleep on the spare bed in my brother's room. 44:58.422 --> 44:58.942 It worked! 44:58.982 --> 45:02.603 I got to sleep in my brother's room, but I think to this day I think my parents, what? 45:02.783 --> 45:04.204 My parents think I wet my bed. 45:04.884 --> 45:06.004 Well, that's not bad. 45:06.024 --> 45:07.885 I mean, you know, it's worth it sometimes. 45:08.225 --> 45:12.086 The question is, why are... It's right, of passage, isn't it? 45:12.146 --> 45:16.388 But it's sad that children have to force each other to watch these things, because it's kind of bravado, isn't it? 45:16.728 --> 45:19.048 You get round and you all... I want to know. 45:19.248 --> 45:20.149 I was curious. 45:20.169 --> 45:23.330 Of course, it's curiosity, but it's also... The video covers are so tantalizing. 45:23.410 --> 45:24.930 It's also a bit of bravado, though. 45:24.950 --> 45:27.731 You know, you don't want to be the first to say, actually, can we not watch this? 45:27.891 --> 45:28.971 I'd say there's that to it. 45:29.051 --> 45:33.333 But I'd say, you know, any inquiring mind wants to know what's being held from them in life. 45:33.393 --> 45:34.053 You know, you're a child. 45:34.133 --> 45:35.535 you want to know what's out there in the world. 45:35.575 --> 45:36.035 That's true. 45:36.115 --> 45:40.160 And at that age films are like little and books are like little boxes of education. 45:40.861 --> 45:41.622 Even unhinged. 45:41.822 --> 45:43.143 Yeah, for me they were. 45:43.203 --> 45:43.404 Yeah. 45:43.624 --> 45:47.188 I made all sorts of wrong connections by watching that kind of thing. 45:47.228 --> 45:48.970 Well, it's very wonky education, isn't it? 45:49.190 --> 45:51.691 Yeah, here's an email from Frenzy. 45:52.231 --> 45:52.512 Yeah? 45:52.632 --> 45:53.372 Hmm. 45:53.432 --> 45:53.992 Hi Adam and Jo. 45:54.012 --> 46:07.699 When I was six I was watching Superman 3 and was sat in the front room by myself when some guy in the movie hit a fire hydrant in his car and water started squirting into the car until the whole car was full of water like a giant aquarium and the guy was trapped inside. 46:07.719 --> 46:08.779 Do you remember that classic scene? 46:09.099 --> 46:11.801 Yeah, this was the most horrific thing I've ever seen. 46:12.461 --> 46:13.422 And I was screaming. 46:13.662 --> 46:14.983 Why didn't he smash the windows? 46:15.003 --> 46:16.024 Why didn't he climb out? 46:16.524 --> 46:20.687 Eventually, Superman saved him, but it's made me very wary of cars ever since. 46:20.907 --> 46:23.549 Well, it's a ludicrous scene as well as being sort of cool. 46:23.569 --> 46:28.572 I mean, it's a trippy image, but there's no way that a car would just hold all that water, is there? 46:28.833 --> 46:31.755 My mum and dad explained English cars are airtight. 46:32.415 --> 46:57.960 because no hang on rewind rewind my mum and dad explained that english cars are all right because they have special gaps around the doors so water can escape ah good old mum and dad but i wasn't convinced that's actually not from well frenzy is his aka his name's joe and he lives in amazingstoke that's a good name for it we spent a lot of time in phasingstoke that's where you're from and you're right it is amazing it is amazing 46:58.340 --> 46:58.640 Yeah. 46:58.720 --> 46:59.080 Bazy. 46:59.540 --> 47:04.662 Uh, as a child, my parents always encouraged me to read books that were too old for me in what was a failed attempt to make me clever. 47:05.082 --> 47:06.343 This is from Peter Green. 47:07.123 --> 47:08.944 We read out too much Peter Green, but this is good anyway. 47:09.184 --> 47:10.124 Sorry, Peter, no insult. 47:10.424 --> 47:14.966 I remember being about 10 years old and reading the book Papillon by Henri Charrière. 47:15.586 --> 47:23.348 The main character in the book is sent to a penal colony and while in captivity he hides his money from the prison guards by stuffing it up his bottom. 47:23.928 --> 47:35.271 At the time I was so horrified by what I read that I got even more confused and I thought that the money was actually being hidden on the other side of the body in a place where there is even less space to hide things. 47:38.012 --> 47:39.474 Yeah, that's confusing. 47:39.534 --> 47:40.956 Peter, you had a confused childhood. 47:40.996 --> 47:41.677 In the winky purse. 47:41.837 --> 47:42.097 Yeah. 47:42.478 --> 47:44.420 I didn't discuss what I'd read with anyone. 47:44.480 --> 47:49.647 I just decided that I was going to have to wait until I was a lot older before I could even try and hide money about my person. 47:49.887 --> 47:50.769 That's very mature. 47:50.969 --> 47:53.532 Remember, 50 pence pieces were a lot bigger back then. 47:55.254 --> 47:57.217 Well, I certainly hope he didn't try any of that. 47:57.257 --> 47:58.178 That would be a disgrace. 47:58.198 --> 47:59.319 There's lots more to come. 47:59.399 --> 48:00.741 Talk about dirty money. 48:00.821 --> 48:02.082 We'll come back to them in a second. 48:02.102 --> 48:04.465 Let me just give you one more, one more, one more. 48:04.525 --> 48:04.785 Yeah. 48:05.606 --> 48:07.168 Oh, no, I'm not going to. 48:07.188 --> 48:07.268 Okay. 48:08.109 --> 48:13.475 Yeah, because there's a few that I've been remembering all sorts of little nuggets as well. 48:13.596 --> 48:13.836 Keep them 48:13.916 --> 48:19.944 coming in at 64046, the texts are now functioning, or email adamandjoe.6music at vbc.co.uk. 48:20.224 --> 48:26.733 Hey, I should mention as well, if anyone has an idea for Song Wars, a theme, I tell you what's good is a style as well. 48:27.193 --> 48:29.797 So you give us a theme and the type of music you'd like to hear. 48:30.017 --> 48:31.778 For more rules, the better, really, isn't it? 48:31.798 --> 48:32.219 Yeah, exactly. 48:32.239 --> 48:36.042 The more strictures, the more complex a brief you need, Phil, the better. 48:36.082 --> 48:37.763 So do email us with those as well. 48:37.803 --> 48:38.784 That will be cool. 48:39.024 --> 48:48.732 Now, I've got a free choice for you listeners, and this is... I was surprised, actually, that you let this one slip past, because it's very mellow indeed, and it's also quite long. 48:49.332 --> 48:53.576 But it's just lovely, and it's not an album that I'm that familiar with. 48:53.616 --> 48:54.537 It's by Lamb Chop. 48:54.957 --> 48:55.838 And which album is it? 48:56.658 --> 48:58.660 It's called Is a Woman, I think, is the album, isn't it? 48:58.860 --> 48:59.580 And it's a lovely album. 48:59.620 --> 49:05.124 Like, I was convinced to buy the album because the video for the song is a woman. 49:05.744 --> 49:06.725 It's amazing. 49:06.805 --> 49:09.406 I advise you to check it out on YouTube. 49:09.666 --> 49:11.688 No, it's about five years old. 49:11.748 --> 49:12.528 Lamb Chop are great. 49:12.608 --> 49:13.169 I like Lamb Chop. 49:13.189 --> 49:14.089 Yeah, they're really good. 49:14.469 --> 49:18.772 And this one, again, it was one of those things that popped up on my iPod and I was just knocked out by it. 49:18.792 --> 49:21.073 And I thought, I can't believe I never persevered with this album. 49:21.113 --> 49:21.754 So I went back to it. 49:21.814 --> 49:24.115 Sure enough, it's an absolute smash, the whole album. 49:24.135 --> 49:26.937 And this is a lovely song, My Blue Wave by Lamb Chop. 49:29.611 --> 49:40.517 I reckon that that's got to be the longest and most laid-back song ever played on a Saturday morning on a BBC station. 49:40.877 --> 49:41.438 What do you reckon? 49:41.838 --> 49:44.119 Maybe it was a mistake and maybe you found that torturous listeners. 49:44.799 --> 49:46.800 But I can't believe that a lot of you did. 49:52.464 --> 49:56.590 I love that one That was lamb chop with my blue wave. 49:56.730 --> 50:05.483 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 music the home remembered of sixes and music So what would you do in this situation? 50:05.623 --> 50:05.923 Right? 50:06.144 --> 50:06.444 I'd run 50:07.125 --> 50:07.485 Would you? 50:07.645 --> 50:08.145 Oh, sorry. 50:08.345 --> 50:14.947 Last night I went to see a thing at the Battersea Arts Centre here in London called the Mask of the Red Death by an amazing theatre company called Punch Drunk. 50:15.027 --> 50:20.368 What they do is they take over entire buildings, they dress them to the standard of a Hollywood movie. 50:20.568 --> 50:21.288 Oh my lord. 50:22.028 --> 50:24.729 In a kind of very detailed representation of whatever play they're doing. 50:25.009 --> 50:26.629 Then you basically wander through the space. 50:26.729 --> 50:26.929 Right. 50:27.289 --> 50:31.590 And you encounter scenes from the play in a promenade style. 50:31.630 --> 50:35.411 You just walk into a room and there'll be like an old washer woman. 50:36.271 --> 50:39.752 washing a rag in this amazingly detailed room. 50:40.173 --> 50:42.934 There's speakers everywhere playing amazingly atmospheric music. 50:43.414 --> 50:50.336 You're wearing, you're encouraged to wear kind of period clothing and you wear eyes wide shut style masks. 50:50.556 --> 50:52.137 Every member of the audience has a mask on. 50:52.777 --> 51:14.541 very erotic yeah it really was i could i could you know some kind of people party could have easily happened you were hoping it was going to be like that scene in the nice wide shot i've never really been to a masked event before but every woman looks gorgeous that's true they do a little bit of uh yeah amazing i mean i can't imagine the horror when the masks are taken off but certainly with them on oh 51:15.481 --> 51:15.802 Jodie. 51:16.642 --> 51:17.843 Anyway, sit with me. 51:18.343 --> 51:24.787 This thing was amazing and if Punch Drunk ever do anything near you, I encourage you to go and it's running till April if you live in Londonium. 51:24.827 --> 51:25.827 It was incredible. 51:25.907 --> 51:26.848 Yeah. 51:27.188 --> 51:27.768 Every day is it? 51:27.968 --> 51:28.569 At the back? 51:28.869 --> 51:29.449 I think so. 51:29.589 --> 51:29.930 I don't know. 51:29.950 --> 51:31.050 You'd have to go on their website. 51:31.090 --> 51:31.230 Right. 51:31.731 --> 51:35.253 So I was wandering round and I was encouraged by a couple of friends who'd seen it before too. 51:35.433 --> 51:36.493 They said, don't follow the crowd. 51:36.773 --> 51:37.314 Just go off. 51:37.794 --> 51:40.596 The second you see a door that no one's gone through, just go through it. 51:41.117 --> 51:45.180 And you basically walk around this building, it's very, very dark, everything lit by little flickering candles. 51:45.421 --> 51:47.162 You try every door that you come across. 51:47.522 --> 51:48.843 You never know what's gonna be behind it. 51:49.424 --> 51:50.565 So what would you do in this situation? 51:50.645 --> 51:56.230 I opened a door, and there was this kind of Victorian Edwardian, I don't know, washer woman. 51:57.030 --> 51:58.771 I don't know what period Poe wrote in. 51:58.811 --> 51:59.432 When did he write? 51:59.452 --> 52:00.532 I don't know what that would be. 52:00.552 --> 52:01.553 That's sort of gothic, isn't it? 52:01.593 --> 52:03.774 Like late 18th century or 19th century? 52:03.834 --> 52:08.116 She's washing racks in this room full of medicine bottles, beautifully set decorated. 52:08.136 --> 52:11.578 I open the door, I close it behind me, it's just me and her in the room. 52:11.978 --> 52:14.740 Speakers are going, muyo, muyo, muyo, muyo. 52:15.120 --> 52:16.081 She turns and sees me. 52:16.741 --> 52:19.884 She just screams as if I'm Satan. 52:19.924 --> 52:20.244 Yeah. 52:20.484 --> 52:20.604 Yeah. 52:36.857 --> 52:40.860 I didn't know what to do, so I thought they'd tell you at the beginning, don't talk at any point. 52:40.960 --> 52:41.481 Oh really? 52:41.501 --> 52:44.643 Yeah, you're not allowed to talk at all or make any noise unless you're a performer. 52:44.743 --> 52:44.903 Yeah. 52:45.123 --> 52:46.444 So I just, I just shut up. 52:46.725 --> 52:50.608 She started touching my face and she pressed her body right up against me. 52:52.249 --> 52:54.210 And when I say me, I mean me. 52:55.831 --> 52:58.693 And she starts stroking my shoulders. 52:59.053 --> 53:00.774 She's breathing so close to my face. 53:00.794 --> 53:03.155 It's like an acting workshop I've been catapulted into. 53:03.596 --> 53:06.617 She's looking at my hands, going, do you have the mark? 53:06.637 --> 53:08.438 Do you have the simple mark? 53:08.739 --> 53:09.779 We must wash you. 53:10.099 --> 53:16.623 She takes me over, drags me over to a bowl of water, plunges my hand into the water, and she's got some kind of trickery. 53:16.983 --> 53:19.124 My blood starts oozing from my hands. 53:19.685 --> 53:20.525 She screams again. 53:20.565 --> 53:21.826 She throws water at me. 53:22.586 --> 53:24.227 make me all wet, throwing water at me. 53:24.267 --> 53:25.427 Then she clasps me again. 53:25.808 --> 53:26.688 It's a rollercoaster. 53:26.888 --> 53:36.953 Then she takes my mask off, looks right into my eyes, puts her face completely close to mine, and is stroking my face, going, oh, will you deliver me? 53:37.493 --> 53:40.134 Will you save me from this terrible skirt? 53:40.414 --> 53:41.194 Will you save me? 53:41.395 --> 53:43.115 I used to really like that from JoJo. 53:45.176 --> 53:45.737 I didn't know what. 53:45.797 --> 53:53.302 Now, the thing going through my head was, A, please, please, little man, stop being excited, little Joe. 53:53.522 --> 53:54.422 Can't sit down. 53:54.522 --> 53:55.443 Or she notices. 53:55.463 --> 53:59.405 B, thing number B. Are those those numbers? 53:59.886 --> 54:01.267 Thing number B was, do I? 54:01.427 --> 54:02.868 I so wanted to join in. 54:02.888 --> 54:04.729 I was so caught up in the moment. 54:04.749 --> 54:06.630 I wanted to reply to her. 54:06.690 --> 54:07.811 She was literally begging me. 54:08.531 --> 54:14.476 Deliver me from the evil save time free So I was thinking do I talk or not? 54:14.516 --> 54:30.791 So I started to talk you I did I started going first of all I tried to repress a smile It was quite amusing to try and be serious and get into the spirit of things then I started going Yes, I do deliver you Deliver you she liked it though. 54:30.831 --> 54:31.812 We were like in a scene 54:33.729 --> 54:35.851 She said, forgive me, forgive me. 54:35.871 --> 54:38.213 I went, I forgive you. 54:38.313 --> 54:39.815 And you're still on your own at this point. 54:39.835 --> 54:40.555 Would you have done that? 54:40.576 --> 54:40.776 Yeah. 54:40.796 --> 54:41.897 Would you have talked back? 54:42.037 --> 54:42.617 There's no telling. 54:42.637 --> 54:44.940 My friend Edgar went in before me. 54:46.301 --> 54:47.542 We met each other in a corridor. 54:47.582 --> 54:49.824 We didn't recognize each other at first because of the masks. 54:49.884 --> 54:54.629 We circled round each other for a good 45 seconds until Edgar plucked up the courage to go. 54:55.129 --> 54:55.449 Joe? 54:56.810 --> 54:57.350 I went, Edgar? 54:57.610 --> 54:57.970 Yes, yes. 54:58.350 --> 55:00.871 And he said, I've just been erratically assaulted by a nurse. 55:00.992 --> 55:02.232 She's doing it to everyone. 55:02.352 --> 55:02.612 I know. 55:02.692 --> 55:03.253 I said, where? 55:04.493 --> 55:05.553 He said, by the staircase. 55:05.754 --> 55:08.275 I said, yes, but to the right or the left as you face the staircase. 55:08.535 --> 55:10.235 He said, to the left, to the left. 55:10.696 --> 55:13.677 So I went and I sat outside her office waiting to be a nurse. 55:15.158 --> 55:16.859 It was like visiting a prostitute. 55:16.999 --> 55:23.362 Yeah, and I liked it art prostitutes Yeah, so would you have spoken or would you it was very difficult to remain silent? 55:23.482 --> 55:38.149 It was so engaging and involving I don't think I would have spoken because it's that it's like it sounds like a kind of art lap dance It kind of was right, but she didn't seem to mind that that I replied Yeah, got into the spirit and I think it made it more exciting for us both I thought it was a little more erotic. 55:38.229 --> 55:40.230 Did you touch 20 quid into her bonnet? 55:40.911 --> 55:43.132 I almost reciprocated the touching 55:43.712 --> 56:11.391 she seemed really scared and i wanted to touch her just on the shoulder yeah i don't know later in the performance i had a slightly homoerotic encounter wow with a with an oldie worldy tailor it's just a sort of sexy roller coaster in there man it was amazing the one they did before was Faust and apparently that was somewhere in the east end in an even bigger building apparently that was a that was better than Mask of the Red Death how amazing that that kind of thing is allowed to happen in this day and age well i was 56:11.411 --> 56:14.612 I would say that the performers would be within their rights to be more frightened about being assaulted. 56:30.097 --> 56:33.760 I like to think it's exactly the same psychology as prostitution, isn't it? 56:33.860 --> 56:39.964 In that I thought that, um, I like to think that, oh, she thought I was sexy, so she gave me a little bit more. 56:39.984 --> 56:40.345 That's right. 56:40.505 --> 56:40.785 That's right. 56:40.805 --> 56:41.626 You know, which is wrong. 56:41.706 --> 56:42.866 She was just being really nice. 56:42.886 --> 56:43.407 There you go. 56:43.507 --> 56:44.968 All actors are basically prostitutes. 56:45.008 --> 56:46.009 Hey, here's a free play. 56:46.309 --> 56:48.070 Uh, this is one that you might've heard already. 56:48.431 --> 56:50.332 Uh, it's a sort of across the board smash. 56:50.852 --> 56:51.853 I've got no shame in playing. 56:51.913 --> 56:53.634 It's Lupe Fiasco with Superstar. 56:56.356 --> 56:58.418 Sorry, just playing my mouth harp through prints there. 56:58.717 --> 56:59.458 That's a great track. 56:59.518 --> 57:05.983 It's funny how the intros and outros of those songs are kind of the most evocative bits of the time, don't you think? 57:06.023 --> 57:09.687 Just that weird organ noise and hearing him saying that weird stuff at the beginning. 57:09.747 --> 57:10.407 Do they, beloved? 57:10.648 --> 57:11.708 Yeah, that takes me back. 57:12.777 --> 57:13.758 Let's go crazy! 57:13.778 --> 57:15.159 There was a film, wasn't there? 57:15.199 --> 57:16.580 That that was part of? 57:17.881 --> 57:18.721 Purple Rain, yeah. 57:18.981 --> 57:19.622 Of course it was. 57:20.542 --> 57:21.443 What was I doing? 57:22.303 --> 57:24.365 Shall we do a few more text-the-nation texts? 57:24.665 --> 57:25.386 Shall we do some jingles? 57:25.406 --> 57:26.426 Was that really on Purple Rain? 57:26.446 --> 57:27.787 I thought that was pre-Purple Rain. 57:27.887 --> 57:28.187 No. 57:28.468 --> 57:29.368 Oh, there you go. 57:29.408 --> 57:30.949 All my chronology's gone upside down. 57:31.029 --> 57:31.590 Jingle jungles? 57:31.690 --> 57:32.851 Yep. 57:33.211 --> 57:34.031 Text-a-nation. 57:34.091 --> 57:35.152 Text, text, text. 57:35.252 --> 57:36.013 Text-a-nation. 57:36.073 --> 57:37.033 What if I don't want to? 57:37.273 --> 57:38.054 Text-a-nation. 57:38.094 --> 57:39.095 But I'm using email. 57:39.295 --> 57:39.995 Is that a problem? 57:40.035 --> 57:40.856 It doesn't matter, text! 57:43.410 --> 57:50.674 This week's Text the Nation is all about sort of adult pop culture that you stumbled on when you were too young and freaked your tiny little head out. 57:50.754 --> 57:53.515 I was just remembering the first time I saw Altered States. 57:54.056 --> 57:54.416 Yes. 57:54.496 --> 57:55.296 Now that came out. 57:55.336 --> 57:56.477 This is a Ken Russell film. 57:57.017 --> 57:57.678 Brilliant film. 57:57.738 --> 58:01.239 Kind of lost and slightly underrated Altered States with William Hurt. 58:01.279 --> 58:02.080 Have you seen it recently? 58:02.100 --> 58:03.140 I wonder how it stands up. 58:03.441 --> 58:04.161 I'm very proud. 58:04.181 --> 58:06.862 I've got kind of a press book on its original release. 58:08.804 --> 58:13.868 It stands up pretty... It's weird, but the good bits are amazing. 58:13.908 --> 58:24.918 The bit when he goes into the cave and takes the hallucinogenic drugs and devolves into a kind of primitive man, and then when he gets back to America, he can't stop going primitive. 58:25.459 --> 58:26.380 It's pretty incredible. 58:26.920 --> 58:28.081 And yeah, really powerful. 58:28.121 --> 58:28.962 Such a weird idea. 58:29.022 --> 58:30.604 It's all based around flotation tanks. 58:31.124 --> 58:38.272 And the idea that if you could... I was basically convinced that if you went into a flotation tank, you would turn into a kind of ape man. 58:38.312 --> 58:41.075 You would immediately devolve into a primitive form of human. 58:41.575 --> 58:50.104 And I know, I thought the same thing, and then I saw flotation tanks thereafter, like in the world, and the idea that people would go into them voluntarily. 58:50.124 --> 58:50.525 So horrific. 58:50.725 --> 58:51.706 Yeah, absolutely. 58:52.046 --> 58:55.830 I've only ever been in one once and I was still a little bit frightened for that very reason. 58:55.890 --> 58:56.090 Yeah. 58:56.191 --> 58:59.994 And I still don't think I would take any drug and go into a flotation tank. 59:00.055 --> 59:01.216 No way! 59:01.236 --> 59:03.658 I call them flotation tanks. 59:04.019 --> 59:06.561 Because I'm flirting with Devolution. 59:06.821 --> 59:07.302 Oh, I see. 59:07.342 --> 59:08.984 I thought it was a little Joe back again. 59:09.004 --> 59:09.044 No. 59:11.886 --> 59:15.550 Now let's deal with some other texts that we've had or emails. 59:16.050 --> 59:18.272 This is from Matt in Clark and Well in London. 59:18.552 --> 59:22.315 Hi Adam and Jo, I mistakenly watched the David Lynch short The Grandmother. 59:22.516 --> 59:23.176 Haven't seen that one. 59:23.196 --> 59:23.957 On BBC Two when I was 12. 59:25.198 --> 59:32.424 You should really see it and I think I'm right in saying that's the one about the little boy, how can I put this, who 59:33.405 --> 59:34.646 makes love to his mattress. 59:34.926 --> 59:35.206 Okay. 59:35.806 --> 59:36.627 Uh, of an evening. 59:36.747 --> 59:36.947 Yeah. 59:37.007 --> 59:40.789 And eventually he does it so much that a lady grows out of it. 59:41.969 --> 59:43.070 I think that's the right one. 59:43.930 --> 59:46.431 It's incredible and really weird and powerful. 59:46.491 --> 59:46.691 Yeah. 59:47.131 --> 59:53.134 Uh, Matt, just, just email in again to confirm that I'm right there, but it's very traumatizing and Matt saw it when he was 12. 59:53.715 --> 59:54.555 It was terrifying. 59:54.815 --> 59:55.696 I had to turn it off. 59:56.036 --> 01:00:00.098 I'm now a big Lynch fan, but still can't bring myself to watch it again at aged 33. 01:00:01.078 --> 01:00:14.869 Well, I mean, he is the absolute king of nightmares anyway, David Lynch, and if you see, like, a race ahead or something, I mean, I saw that when I was pretty young, and certainly that was a portal to a whole adult world that I didn't want to go down in any way whatsoever. 01:00:14.989 --> 01:00:17.150 Just still, to this day, gives me the chills. 01:00:18.772 --> 01:00:19.913 Here's one from Tom in Canterbury. 01:00:19.933 --> 01:00:21.614 I watched The Shining when I was about ten. 01:00:21.934 --> 01:00:27.638 I remember getting quite excited by the bath scene, because I'd never seen capital letters fully nude! 01:00:28.479 --> 01:00:52.147 end capital letters woman on the telly before then it all went horribly wrong that's not a good film uh for your first naked lady experience that's true and i think it's you the whole thing in one yes yeah yes they're young and sexy but you know eventually go all droopy and scabby a lot to take in at once yeah yeah they won't necessarily go scabby no don't worry i mean they might and you should be prepared for that eventuality 01:00:53.087 --> 01:00:54.909 But there are good skin creams around. 01:00:55.229 --> 01:00:57.371 If you take care of yourself and you eat lots of fruit. 01:00:57.952 --> 01:00:59.313 Lucien Brown. 01:00:59.634 --> 01:01:04.498 I hope I pronounced that rightly says, when I was 12 my best friend Vanessa and I fell in love with Marlon Brando. 01:01:04.919 --> 01:01:09.023 He was so handsome in black and white and we watched every film we could get our hands on. 01:01:09.123 --> 01:01:09.984 She's 12, remember? 01:01:10.304 --> 01:01:14.388 Streetcar named desire, on the waterfront and the one where he pretends to be Japanese. 01:01:14.708 --> 01:01:16.630 Then we saw Last Tango in Paris. 01:01:16.710 --> 01:01:40.716 nice we weren't prepared for fat old brando and the butter up the bum scene yeah i still don't think we ever got over it i don't think anyone does i mean that's that's a scene that's sort of gone down as part of uh sexy legend really in cinema history and it's bitky and there are adults that haven't got over that but when you do see it it's very shocking it's no less shocking nowadays uh than it used to be that scene is quite grotesque 01:01:42.716 --> 01:01:43.337 Here's another one. 01:01:43.417 --> 01:01:45.798 I saw the blob too young. 01:01:46.018 --> 01:01:47.259 This is from Sarah in Cheltenham. 01:01:47.539 --> 01:01:54.623 Whenever I went to the loo, I thought that a red dustpan that was on the other side of the door and visible through the gap under the door was the blob. 01:01:54.703 --> 01:01:57.984 I wonder if she's talking about the Steve McQueen one or the Kevin Dillon one. 01:01:58.105 --> 01:01:58.985 The remake's really good. 01:01:59.025 --> 01:01:59.605 It's not bad, is it? 01:01:59.625 --> 01:02:00.446 It's Frank Darabont. 01:02:00.846 --> 01:02:01.787 Oh, there you go. 01:02:01.807 --> 01:02:02.947 I got a good pedigree. 01:02:03.167 --> 01:02:03.968 I was terrified. 01:02:04.888 --> 01:02:08.211 It's mine and my twin sister's, Marie's 34th birthday today. 01:02:08.871 --> 01:02:10.372 Happy birthday, ladies. 01:02:10.872 --> 01:02:11.413 Have a good one. 01:02:12.233 --> 01:02:15.155 Here's a good one from someone called Akira. 01:02:16.136 --> 01:02:16.696 A good name. 01:02:16.717 --> 01:02:18.037 Akira Kurosawa, is it? 01:02:18.418 --> 01:02:18.678 Yeah. 01:02:19.458 --> 01:02:25.803 The bit in Mamondas source where the fool guy sews up a bit of ribbon into his chest out of pure love. 01:02:25.943 --> 01:02:26.643 I saw it when I was 10. 01:02:27.084 --> 01:02:27.364 Yuck. 01:02:27.664 --> 01:02:28.705 Girls are rubbish. 01:02:28.945 --> 01:02:41.110 That's a good example of a film that, you know, adults would encourage children to see, really, because it's a good film and sophisticated and nice, but yet it has something kind of, uh, horrible, but in a kind of non-horror context. 01:02:41.130 --> 01:02:41.850 Do you know what I mean? 01:02:42.030 --> 01:02:48.773 Well, you get a lot of that at school as well when you're, when you first start reading slightly more adult, uh, books, like, as set texts. 01:02:49.193 --> 01:02:54.515 Like, I just read, for the first time, Our Man in Havana by Graham Green, which is an amazing, uh, enjoyable book. 01:02:54.875 --> 01:02:56.637 and very upbeat, you know what I mean? 01:02:56.777 --> 01:02:58.198 It's got a happy ending and everything. 01:02:58.678 --> 01:02:59.940 Everything goes right for the guy. 01:02:59.960 --> 01:03:00.780 It's enjoyable. 01:03:01.061 --> 01:03:05.965 But I remember reading The Power and the Glory at school and about the Whiskey Priest and everything. 01:03:05.985 --> 01:03:06.645 Do you remember that one? 01:03:06.706 --> 01:03:09.928 It's all about the nature of faith and, oh, that was depressing as anything. 01:03:09.968 --> 01:03:11.530 What's that prefab sprout lyric? 01:03:12.350 --> 01:03:15.273 Oh yeah, Southern Feast and the Whiskey Priest. 01:03:16.294 --> 01:03:19.317 But oh, Lord, it was so bleak, you know? 01:03:19.417 --> 01:03:21.859 And you're just not equipped to deal with that kind of thing as a youngster. 01:03:22.099 --> 01:03:23.501 Here's one from Finn in London. 01:03:24.121 --> 01:03:30.328 When I was nine years old I went downstairs very early on a Sunday morning and flicked play on the video that my stepdad watched the night before. 01:03:30.809 --> 01:03:33.152 It was the Alan Parker film Midnight Express. 01:03:33.792 --> 01:03:35.034 I sat and watched the whole thing. 01:03:35.114 --> 01:03:40.440 Think about it, the stabbings, the bit where the hero rips the tongue out of the prison snitch with his own mouth. 01:03:40.880 --> 01:03:44.701 The horrific masturbation scene, the male rapes, the gay sex. 01:03:45.081 --> 01:03:47.442 I was and am still disturbed massively. 01:03:47.562 --> 01:03:53.824 I still can't fly without completely emptying my bag prior to the flight in case someone has stashed drugs on me. 01:03:54.304 --> 01:03:57.825 To be honest, even writing this has made me slightly emotional. 01:03:59.586 --> 01:04:00.727 Well, it was emotional to read about. 01:04:00.747 --> 01:04:01.107 That's true. 01:04:01.287 --> 01:04:05.872 Midnight Express is a brilliant example of a film that's just designed to traumatise, but in a good way. 01:04:06.072 --> 01:04:06.872 Yeah, absolutely. 01:04:06.893 --> 01:04:08.614 To stop you taking those crazy drugs. 01:04:09.375 --> 01:04:13.659 Well, we'll tie up Text the Nation shortly, but first here's a bit more music for you. 01:04:13.699 --> 01:04:16.762 This is The Maccabees with toothpaste kisses. 01:04:17.102 --> 01:04:19.283 That's Maccabees with toothpaste kisses. 01:04:19.323 --> 01:04:22.024 Hey, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 01:04:22.284 --> 01:04:24.525 Now, shall we tie up Text-The-Nation now or in a second? 01:04:24.545 --> 01:04:25.106 We'll do it in a second. 01:04:25.126 --> 01:04:26.126 Let's do it in a second. 01:04:26.226 --> 01:04:29.808 But talking of David Lynch, there's a very good clip going round. 01:04:29.828 --> 01:04:30.908 Have you seen that clip of him? 01:04:31.288 --> 01:04:31.889 No, what's he done? 01:04:31.949 --> 01:04:33.409 Graham Ninahan had it on his blog. 01:04:34.510 --> 01:04:41.113 He's done a little thing, David Lynch, all about people who watch films on their iPhones or telephones. 01:04:42.053 --> 01:04:43.273 And you can find this on the internet. 01:04:43.314 --> 01:04:45.815 And he says, can you do a David Lynch impression? 01:04:47.175 --> 01:04:48.776 Oh, I'm trying to think what he sounds like. 01:04:48.796 --> 01:05:00.682 It's kinda like, slow and American like that, but he says in this clip, now, if you're playing the movie on a telephone, you will never, in a trillion years, experience the film. 01:05:01.283 --> 01:05:04.625 You'll think you've experienced it, but you'll be cheated. 01:05:05.205 --> 01:05:10.688 It's such a sadness that you think you've seen a film on your, beep, telephone. 01:05:11.268 --> 01:05:12.069 Get real. 01:05:12.509 --> 01:05:13.790 He gets quite aggressive. 01:05:13.870 --> 01:05:14.070 Yeah. 01:05:14.790 --> 01:05:16.831 and angry with people who watch movies on phones. 01:05:16.891 --> 01:05:24.996 I've seen a clip of him on YouTube where he's furious about product placement and anyone who would collude with advertising in any way within their film. 01:05:25.056 --> 01:05:26.597 He goes off on one about it. 01:05:27.037 --> 01:05:31.920 He is somebody who's capable of making really profoundly terrifying and troubling films. 01:05:31.940 --> 01:05:35.382 I thought you were going to say profoundly rubbish ones as well. 01:05:35.502 --> 01:05:39.324 Well, sometimes they've got a sort of thread of rubbish running through them, haven't they? 01:05:39.364 --> 01:05:39.524 Yeah. 01:05:39.844 --> 01:05:41.624 in a funny way that contributes to the terror. 01:05:42.045 --> 01:05:47.046 What's the one where he casts that guy that looks like the most evil, frightening man in the world? 01:05:47.066 --> 01:05:47.586 Lost highway. 01:05:48.106 --> 01:05:53.508 Yeah, where he telephones Bill Pullman's house and Bill Pullman's there. 01:05:54.448 --> 01:06:00.829 Isn't that just such a weird idea that you'd go to a party and some weird man would come up to you and call your house and you would answer? 01:06:01.090 --> 01:06:01.570 Right, yeah. 01:06:01.590 --> 01:06:02.270 It's brilliant. 01:06:03.010 --> 01:06:04.892 I've never made it through the whole of that film, though. 01:06:05.192 --> 01:06:05.472 Really? 01:06:05.552 --> 01:06:08.935 It's worth sticking with, because it's got amazing... The climax is amazing. 01:06:08.995 --> 01:06:11.197 Yeah, he can do unsettling like no one else. 01:06:11.237 --> 01:06:16.541 And there's that bit in the lovely lesbian lady film. 01:06:17.121 --> 01:06:17.662 What's it called? 01:06:17.702 --> 01:06:18.362 Mulholland Drive. 01:06:18.382 --> 01:06:19.243 Mulholland Drive. 01:06:20.264 --> 01:06:21.645 The whole bit behind the diner. 01:06:21.705 --> 01:06:22.485 Do you remember that bit? 01:06:22.545 --> 01:06:24.387 With the kind of tramp lurking behind there. 01:06:24.427 --> 01:06:25.868 That's got to be one of the most terrifying. 01:06:25.928 --> 01:06:27.149 I never made it through that one. 01:06:27.369 --> 01:06:27.729 Did you not? 01:06:28.030 --> 01:06:29.070 I can't make it possible. 01:06:29.090 --> 01:06:30.772 Did you miss the lady love then? 01:06:31.272 --> 01:06:32.794 I don't think I've ever seen The Lady Love, no. 01:06:32.814 --> 01:06:33.935 It's worth sticking with. 01:06:34.015 --> 01:06:34.275 Is it? 01:06:34.375 --> 01:06:35.076 Oh my lord. 01:06:35.096 --> 01:06:36.277 Yeah. 01:06:36.317 --> 01:06:37.198 Yeah, make a little note. 01:06:37.258 --> 01:06:38.118 It's way up there. 01:06:38.138 --> 01:06:41.321 Delicious. 01:06:41.922 --> 01:06:44.484 Didn't have to say delicious. 01:06:44.524 --> 01:06:44.784 Why? 01:06:44.804 --> 01:06:45.845 I haven't seen the film. 01:06:45.885 --> 01:06:46.166 I don't know. 01:06:46.186 --> 01:06:47.187 Does that have resonance? 01:06:47.547 --> 01:06:48.188 Yes it does. 01:06:48.208 --> 01:06:50.910 Star Star. 01:06:53.052 --> 01:06:58.158 Okay, well, let's let's tie up text the nation after this next track, but right now here's uh, is this another mellow one? 01:06:58.178 --> 01:06:59.259 We're very mellow today. 01:06:59.860 --> 01:07:03.284 Oh, this is one of Joe's is it as your auntie Anthony Johnson. 01:07:03.444 --> 01:07:12.534 Oh, yeah, this is great This is an old kind of reggae album from I think about 82, but it's a classic and it's been reissued I've never heard of this before Oh, Anthony John. 01:07:12.574 --> 01:07:13.515 I thought it was Anthony and the 01:07:13.655 --> 01:07:15.157 No, no, he's called Anthony Johnson. 01:07:15.177 --> 01:07:15.517 There you go. 01:07:15.737 --> 01:07:17.019 And this track's brilliant. 01:07:17.059 --> 01:07:20.302 It's a kind of anthem to stop people shooting each other. 01:07:20.863 --> 01:07:24.006 Very pertinent for, you know, people like us that live in South London. 01:07:24.527 --> 01:07:25.948 So, you know, listen to this, kids. 01:07:26.549 --> 01:07:27.410 This is a great track. 01:07:27.470 --> 01:07:28.591 Anthony Johnson with Gunshot. 01:07:31.448 --> 01:07:34.171 Um, you know if the dreadful, uh, what happened there? 01:07:35.233 --> 01:07:35.533 Dunno. 01:07:35.753 --> 01:07:46.265 You know if the dreadful, uh, gang and killing situation in London and other major cities in the country, uh, didn't end, and just became an accepted part of life, 01:07:46.886 --> 01:07:49.369 And there was a sort of banal sitcom written about it. 01:07:49.909 --> 01:07:50.890 That could be the theme tune. 01:07:51.291 --> 01:07:53.113 Yeah, that's a great idea. 01:07:53.473 --> 01:07:54.755 Maybe you should write that sitcom. 01:07:54.835 --> 01:07:55.435 Maybe I should. 01:07:55.475 --> 01:07:58.359 Characters would just be killed, fight each other. 01:07:58.639 --> 01:07:59.660 There will be a sitcom like that. 01:07:59.680 --> 01:08:00.721 There will, won't there? 01:08:01.122 --> 01:08:03.084 It'll just be, oh, it's Dwayne here. 01:08:03.444 --> 01:08:05.386 No, Tom, I stabbed him yesterday. 01:08:05.847 --> 01:08:06.387 Never mind. 01:08:06.688 --> 01:08:07.769 Got any sprouts? 01:08:08.462 --> 01:08:09.422 The sick world. 01:08:09.542 --> 01:08:10.783 It sounds like a good show, though. 01:08:11.063 --> 01:08:19.185 Yeah, obviously we're not trivialising a profoundly ridiculous situation that the police and the government should do more about. 01:08:19.565 --> 01:08:19.925 Exactly. 01:08:20.025 --> 01:08:23.246 And I'm putting a silly voice, but I'm serious anyway, let's not go into that area. 01:08:23.506 --> 01:08:24.027 Gun crimes. 01:08:24.047 --> 01:08:24.527 It's not safe. 01:08:24.927 --> 01:08:26.227 No, it's not safe. 01:08:26.247 --> 01:08:27.688 Might get shot. 01:08:28.028 --> 01:08:28.588 Jingle jungles. 01:08:30.751 --> 01:08:31.573 Text-a-nation! 01:08:31.613 --> 01:08:32.694 Text, text, text! 01:08:32.795 --> 01:08:33.536 Text-a-nation! 01:08:33.596 --> 01:08:34.578 What if I don't want to? 01:08:34.818 --> 01:08:35.539 Text-a-nation! 01:08:35.619 --> 01:08:36.661 But I'm using email. 01:08:36.822 --> 01:08:37.523 Is that a problem? 01:08:37.563 --> 01:08:38.484 It doesn't matter, text! 01:08:39.286 --> 01:08:42.131 It's time to wrap it up. 01:08:42.391 --> 01:08:42.912 Wrap it! 01:08:44.584 --> 01:08:48.666 Here's one from Jane in Cardiff that made my brain smile. 01:08:49.426 --> 01:08:53.888 She says, I insisted on watching Apocalypse Now with my elder brother despite only being nine. 01:08:54.348 --> 01:08:58.449 The sound of chopper blades still upsets me, deeply traumatised. 01:08:58.769 --> 01:09:05.672 I like the idea of someone who might have like a chopper flashback but to Apocalypse Now rather than the Vietnam War itself. 01:09:06.492 --> 01:09:08.533 It's like a meta flashback, do you know what I mean? 01:09:08.913 --> 01:09:09.173 Yes. 01:09:09.914 --> 01:09:12.335 They just re-released Hearts of Darkness on DVD, I noticed. 01:09:12.355 --> 01:09:13.155 They have, yeah. 01:09:13.675 --> 01:09:14.416 That looks good. 01:09:14.456 --> 01:09:15.677 It's an extended cut or something? 01:09:15.717 --> 01:09:19.481 No, it's got a documentary about the making of Youth Without Youth, this new film that's supposed to be quite good. 01:09:19.701 --> 01:09:21.163 Yeah, 30 years later kind of thing. 01:09:21.183 --> 01:09:22.764 Yeah, yeah, I get that. 01:09:22.844 --> 01:09:31.213 Just to clue anybody in who's just tuned in, this Text the Nation this week is about adult pop culture that you were exposed to at too early an age and kind of freaked your head out. 01:09:31.853 --> 01:09:33.334 Here's one from Matthew Nieland. 01:09:33.914 --> 01:09:35.535 That's true, I got worried about leprosy too. 01:09:35.555 --> 01:09:37.336 And they didn't really give you much of a clue 01:10:00.229 --> 01:10:23.853 of what the what the physical consequences of leprosy were in that film it was just like oh my god don't touch and they got leprosy it was horrific and i said to my mum it's kind of like uh it yeah but as a disease isn't it so any kid can understand it the idea that touched and you're out exactly literally and i said to my mum what is leprosy what could be so bad and she said it's a disease where bits of your body fall off 01:10:25.780 --> 01:10:29.345 had in my mind you don't want to get leprosy because just random bits will just fall off. 01:10:29.365 --> 01:10:30.386 It's not necessarily true, is it? 01:10:30.406 --> 01:10:31.648 No, it's not true. 01:10:31.768 --> 01:10:33.630 It starts with itchy flaky scalp. 01:10:34.812 --> 01:10:35.273 TGL. 01:10:35.493 --> 01:10:36.734 That's what you need for leprosy. 01:10:37.115 --> 01:10:37.716 That'll sort you. 01:10:38.096 --> 01:10:41.741 Yeah, it's just not bits dropping off from the get-go. 01:10:43.163 --> 01:10:43.423 Alice. 01:10:44.204 --> 01:10:56.114 Texts when I was about five I got out of bed and went into the sitting room where my sister and babysitter were watching Top of the Pops Pink Floyd's the wall video was on and I walked in at the bit where the teacher puts the kids through the meat grinder Yeah, boy. 01:10:56.274 --> 01:11:04.661 Yeah, I went hysterical I didn't sleep that night or many nights after and was haunted by the image for a long time That song still makes me feel odd 01:11:04.961 --> 01:11:05.381 Absolutely. 01:11:05.402 --> 01:11:05.742 You're right. 01:11:05.782 --> 01:11:10.286 That song was a little cluster of kind of, you know, riotous, revolutionary ideas. 01:11:10.326 --> 01:11:12.087 Maggie Thatcher was very unhappy about that song. 01:11:12.107 --> 01:11:13.188 Everyone was very unhappy about it. 01:11:13.208 --> 01:11:14.770 It was encouraging kids not to go to school. 01:11:15.210 --> 01:11:19.995 It was depicting teachers as horrible puppets who minced up kids. 01:11:20.695 --> 01:11:21.356 Oh my lord. 01:11:21.376 --> 01:11:23.237 Do you know what is true? 01:11:23.317 --> 01:11:25.739 That's scarf, isn't it, responsible for those images? 01:11:25.779 --> 01:11:26.399 Yeah, that's true. 01:11:26.479 --> 01:11:28.701 Scarf and Waters and the Floyds. 01:11:29.461 --> 01:11:32.263 Yeah, that was a, I agree, very traumatising film. 01:11:32.303 --> 01:11:33.544 I saw that very young as well. 01:11:34.045 --> 01:11:35.246 Here's one from Dom in London. 01:11:35.706 --> 01:11:39.769 At my friend's ninth birthday, his parents showed us a pirate of American werewolf. 01:11:40.229 --> 01:11:40.429 Mmm. 01:11:40.529 --> 01:11:45.593 Not only the bloody violence sticks in my mind, but the sex was profoundly disturbing. 01:11:45.613 --> 01:11:48.755 26 years on, I still have nightmares about the men in pig masks. 01:11:48.775 --> 01:11:49.595 Were they in pig masks? 01:11:49.635 --> 01:11:50.776 One of them's in a pig mask, maybe. 01:11:50.896 --> 01:11:53.478 Yeah, not like pig demons. 01:11:53.898 --> 01:11:56.740 The comic nuances of the film were somewhat lost on a nine-year-old. 01:11:57.000 --> 01:11:57.680 That's very true. 01:11:57.720 --> 01:12:01.163 American Werewolf, when watched as a kid, doesn't come across as a comedy at all. 01:12:01.723 --> 01:12:05.906 Well, I remember there being certain bits of stuff that I could see were supposed to be funny. 01:12:06.346 --> 01:12:07.887 The levity makes it more terrifying. 01:12:08.187 --> 01:12:09.248 I found it comforting. 01:12:09.548 --> 01:12:12.150 Yeah, I found it comforting that there were some laughs to be had. 01:12:12.310 --> 01:12:14.692 But then I couldn't believe that the end was so bleak. 01:12:14.872 --> 01:12:21.877 Well, that's possibly the most, you know, one of the most terrifying moments to see as a kid, the moment when the Nazi demons smash in the door. 01:12:22.058 --> 01:12:22.218 Yeah. 01:12:22.278 --> 01:12:23.619 I mean, it does a double bluff. 01:12:23.839 --> 01:12:24.239 Exactly. 01:12:24.439 --> 01:12:27.101 And, you know, the kids are watching the Muppets, do you remember? 01:12:27.141 --> 01:12:27.722 That's right. 01:12:27.822 --> 01:12:31.925 It's such a brilliant little depiction of a cosy British kind of family scene. 01:12:32.045 --> 01:12:36.409 Yeah, you got Frank Oz's voice on there, and then suddenly, and he thinks he's woken up, doesn't he? 01:12:36.429 --> 01:12:39.211 And it's got a horrible throat slicing in it, really realistic. 01:12:39.232 --> 01:12:40.032 Do you remember? 01:12:40.433 --> 01:12:41.734 Oh, scary stuff. 01:12:41.794 --> 01:12:43.655 Jude's looking a little bit ill, producer. 01:12:44.536 --> 01:12:45.077 That's a good one. 01:12:45.297 --> 01:12:47.459 Listen, thank you so much for all your texts and emails. 01:12:47.479 --> 01:12:47.919 That's fine, man. 01:12:47.939 --> 01:12:48.540 It's absolutely fine. 01:12:48.940 --> 01:12:57.302 Uh, Joe, I really appreciate it, you know, you worked so hard, and the way you pretend to be all those different people is amazing, you can kind of compose in different voices. 01:12:58.102 --> 01:13:08.003 Uh, you're a marvel, and can I say that you're very attractive as well, and I wish you would get involved in some kind of interactive play at the Bassey Arts Centre, because, uh, I would love to be part of that. 01:13:08.163 --> 01:13:08.784 Quick correction? 01:13:09.084 --> 01:13:09.264 What? 01:13:09.544 --> 01:13:16.605 We've got the bit in Lost Highway wrong, the scary man meets Bill Pullman at a party and asks Bill to phone his own house, then the scary man is on the other end of the phone at Bill's house, not Bill. 01:13:17.025 --> 01:13:17.726 I think my idea 01:13:39.187 --> 01:13:41.448 Extreme, like they either get very mellow. 01:13:41.568 --> 01:13:42.609 Just their hearing goes. 01:13:42.789 --> 01:13:44.229 Or very angry. 01:13:44.269 --> 01:13:46.871 Yeah, and they get ill and their legs hurt. 01:13:46.891 --> 01:13:47.851 They just get angry. 01:13:47.871 --> 01:13:49.512 That's right, they get low energy legs. 01:13:50.933 --> 01:13:55.035 Anyway, I think we should remind folks now of song wars. 01:13:55.175 --> 01:13:57.816 Who will win the song wars today? 01:13:57.896 --> 01:14:03.098 Perhaps it will be bad or it could be true. 01:14:03.138 --> 01:14:08.441 You will be the one who decides by texting or emailing when you hear 01:14:12.293 --> 01:14:20.497 Now, if I was Darren Brown, I would congratulate you on some subtle psychological setting up going on in that jingle. 01:14:20.957 --> 01:14:24.939 Perhaps it will be Adam, or it could be Joe. 01:14:26.120 --> 01:14:26.460 You know? 01:14:26.480 --> 01:14:26.840 Yeah. 01:14:27.140 --> 01:14:27.801 Yeah, well done. 01:14:28.121 --> 01:14:30.822 Perhaps it will be Adam, or it could be Joe. 01:14:31.503 --> 01:14:37.886 You know, a definite affirmative on the first, and then, you know, a sort of a question mark on the second. 01:14:38.126 --> 01:14:38.366 Yeah. 01:14:38.606 --> 01:14:39.727 Well, that was unintentional. 01:14:40.527 --> 01:14:42.608 Yeah, I'm glad Darren Brown doesn't do our jingles. 01:14:42.908 --> 01:14:43.029 Yeah. 01:14:43.049 --> 01:14:43.669 He wanted to. 01:14:44.089 --> 01:14:44.429 Did he? 01:14:44.589 --> 01:14:45.590 But I was too busy. 01:14:45.890 --> 01:14:47.511 Are you still buddies with Darren Brown? 01:14:48.191 --> 01:14:50.793 Uh, I wouldn't say we hang out a huge amount. 01:14:50.933 --> 01:14:51.053 Right. 01:14:51.493 --> 01:14:54.955 But if we passed one another in the street, we'd have a good chit-chat. 01:14:55.075 --> 01:14:55.816 Kill old Chin Wang. 01:14:55.836 --> 01:14:56.816 He invites me to his things. 01:14:57.137 --> 01:14:57.917 He's got a new tour. 01:14:57.937 --> 01:14:58.958 He hasn't invited me to that. 01:14:59.178 --> 01:15:00.098 Has he not? 01:15:00.438 --> 01:15:01.119 He's magic. 01:15:01.627 --> 01:15:02.887 He is magic, he's the king. 01:15:03.328 --> 01:15:04.308 You're magic, mate. 01:15:04.908 --> 01:15:05.828 Oh, you're magic. 01:15:06.149 --> 01:15:11.831 Now, um, Song Wars this week was about, uh, cryptozoology or logical creatures. 01:15:11.851 --> 01:15:13.111 That's well said. 01:15:13.331 --> 01:15:14.311 I went wrong in the middle. 01:15:14.571 --> 01:15:25.155 It's Bigfoot versus Nessie, and not only that, it's kind of a, um, a stylistic battle between, uh, an executed quite hastily song by Adam. 01:15:26.396 --> 01:15:27.016 Nevertheless, 01:15:28.056 --> 01:15:31.319 A very, very amusing song. 01:15:31.400 --> 01:15:41.730 And then a more sort of musically committed, slightly earnest... My take on Bigfoot is that he's very, very, very violent. 01:15:41.970 --> 01:15:42.250 Yeah. 01:15:42.370 --> 01:15:45.753 Because in pop culture he's often depicted as a kind of comedy foil. 01:15:46.214 --> 01:15:50.398 Harry and the Hendersons, the Apple dumpling Sasquatch gang. 01:15:50.458 --> 01:15:50.678 Right. 01:15:51.439 --> 01:15:52.040 Stuff like that. 01:15:52.980 --> 01:15:54.041 Uh, you ever heard of that? 01:15:54.181 --> 01:15:55.863 No, no one's heard of that. 01:15:55.923 --> 01:15:56.783 Hasn't been released yet. 01:15:56.803 --> 01:16:00.066 No, hasn't been made either. 01:16:00.726 --> 01:16:04.249 Um, uh, so my take on Bigfoot is that he is vicious. 01:16:04.449 --> 01:16:04.669 Yeah. 01:16:04.950 --> 01:16:06.211 And he will kill you. 01:16:06.231 --> 01:16:08.873 So you've gone for almost like a rock funk thing. 01:16:08.913 --> 01:16:10.214 It reminds me a little bit of Fishbone. 01:16:10.254 --> 01:16:11.475 I mentioned the Mars Volta before. 01:16:11.495 --> 01:16:16.579 I was trying to go for a sort of Jimmy Page kind of, you know, zap kind of thing at all. 01:16:16.679 --> 01:16:17.179 Yeah. 01:16:17.439 --> 01:16:20.862 Well, let's have a, let's have a listen once again and remind ourselves. 01:16:20.902 --> 01:16:22.163 This is Joe's Bigfoot song. 01:16:25.789 --> 01:16:31.490 Baby, let me take you down to Sasquatchu one, two. 01:16:32.331 --> 01:16:35.071 Me little friend of mine goes by the name of Big Foot. 01:16:35.151 --> 01:16:38.232 You can prick your arms out and pull your head off, baby. 01:16:38.952 --> 01:16:44.534 Honey, do not be afraid to step into this cave, too. 01:16:46.775 --> 01:17:02.125 He's big and hairy and smelly You might have seen him in a documentary on the telly They captured him on Super 8 But they can't catch him, he's a Super 8 They're missing it with the dreadful stink he's ten feet 01:17:02.365 --> 01:17:09.250 Don't resist just take my hand watch for his tracks He'll heat us up like a twin twix pack 01:17:18.797 --> 01:17:35.187 We'll try and make a plastic house But believe me baby, we won't last, no Human being can run fast and not escape The creature that's that vast, believe it I can understand you're scared to go You wanna click here? 01:17:35.247 --> 01:17:40.410 Samples and receptacles Don't believe the cryptos who are logical 01:17:41.030 --> 01:17:43.753 Believe me, baby, the world ain't always so logical. 01:17:43.773 --> 01:17:46.716 Bigfoot, Bigfoot, some call himself. 01:17:46.796 --> 01:17:50.240 Watch, there's also Gage, he'll make spaghetti. 01:17:50.680 --> 01:17:53.664 All of your inner sides, nobody can hide. 01:17:53.724 --> 01:17:57.888 Because he exists, you know his name is Bigfoot. 01:17:58.689 --> 01:17:59.349 Do you get that thing? 01:17:59.650 --> 01:18:05.213 Musicians, not that I'm a musician, but musicians might sympathise with this when you play a friend something you've written. 01:18:05.613 --> 01:18:06.914 What do you physically do? 01:18:08.334 --> 01:18:15.338 We had a friend we went to school with who used to play us a lot of his own compositions and when he played them he would literally stare at us with his tongue out. 01:18:16.659 --> 01:18:21.482 Yeah, because they're so convinced you're going to dig it, they want to watch the joy on your face. 01:18:21.502 --> 01:18:23.463 They want to watch your precise reaction. 01:18:23.483 --> 01:18:27.325 Whereas during that I basically sort of went into a little fetal ball 01:18:28.486 --> 01:18:29.527 Yeah, it's difficult. 01:18:29.548 --> 01:18:32.872 You should never look at people while you're playing something. 01:18:32.892 --> 01:18:35.856 But you should leave the room or just give it to them on a CD and go. 01:18:35.936 --> 01:18:38.279 But at the same time, it's tough to leave the room because it is fun. 01:18:38.320 --> 01:18:40.763 You do, you know, especially if you're pleased with it, you do want to see. 01:18:40.843 --> 01:18:42.445 Yeah, but then you don't want to see an arrogant. 01:18:42.665 --> 01:18:42.846 No. 01:18:43.086 --> 01:18:45.769 You don't wanna like me, oh yeah, I'm great, that song's really great. 01:18:45.869 --> 01:18:54.757 But it's certainly very uncomfortable if you're the person who's having the song played to you, if the composer is staring at you going, yeah, yeah, yeah, stick it, yeah, you like it? 01:18:55.218 --> 01:18:56.639 Check this bit out, right? 01:18:56.819 --> 01:18:57.540 You see what I'm doing? 01:18:58.101 --> 01:19:03.866 Anyway, so I'm gonna do that to you now while I play my Loch Ness Monster song, this is Adam's... Stare at me during it. 01:19:04.266 --> 01:19:06.729 Loch Ness Monster, I can't, I would not be able to. 01:19:07.289 --> 01:19:07.610 Here we go. 01:19:12.478 --> 01:19:25.624 My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse I live in a lot called Ness I've lived in here for hundreds of years It's relatively free from stress But every now and then someone comes along and tries to take my pick 01:19:26.442 --> 01:19:44.413 But even when they do people look and say No I think that's just a stick But I don't care what people say As long as they leave me be Just swim around and eat some plants It's boring but at least I'm free Sometimes I can get in trubs if I go for a walk 01:19:45.373 --> 01:19:51.977 People tend to see a big fish horse and then they start to talk They say can we do an interview? 01:19:52.137 --> 01:20:03.184 Half an hour is all we need We can pay you lots of money But I'm not into greed They offered me a part in a Hollywood film They said this is gonna be big 01:20:04.073 --> 01:20:07.996 But it was just Ted Danson wearing a frightening wig. 01:20:08.636 --> 01:20:12.779 In 2003, the BBC came and did extensive tests. 01:20:13.459 --> 01:20:17.362 They came to the conclusion that I don't exist, which made me quite depressed. 01:20:17.982 --> 01:20:20.324 Cos my name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse. 01:20:20.604 --> 01:20:21.985 I live in a Scottish lake. 01:20:22.905 --> 01:20:26.668 I've lived in here for hundreds of years, so I don't see how I can be fake. 01:20:27.662 --> 01:20:45.450 Just cause I don't go parading around like a giant horsefish pond People seem to think I'm up myself and I get labelled a monster I was gonna do Big Brother depending on who else they got But when I saw the extras Christmas special I thought well maybe not 01:20:46.474 --> 01:20:50.318 My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse, I live in a log called Ness. 01:20:51.179 --> 01:20:54.983 My name's Mike, I'm a big fish horse, I live in a log called Ness. 01:20:55.023 --> 01:20:56.926 There you go, that's a lot. 01:20:57.046 --> 01:20:57.807 I spoke for you. 01:20:57.827 --> 01:21:00.109 Joe actually left the room while I was at me. 01:21:00.509 --> 01:21:01.370 To get some water. 01:21:01.731 --> 01:21:03.613 Because he couldn't look me in the eye. 01:21:03.633 --> 01:21:05.495 I can't handle it, I'm being defeated by it. 01:21:05.675 --> 01:21:07.558 I was jumping up and I was grooving around. 01:21:08.119 --> 01:21:12.484 Now listen, I said before that it was a last minute thing, but man, I slaved over it. 01:21:12.565 --> 01:21:13.065 I'm telling you. 01:21:13.085 --> 01:21:13.506 Did you? 01:21:13.526 --> 01:21:13.726 Yeah. 01:21:14.107 --> 01:21:15.889 I mean, as soon as I got back, I got back home at 5.30. 01:21:16.230 --> 01:21:17.612 When did you finish? 01:21:17.692 --> 01:21:20.536 And I thought, I was thinking to myself, I'm gonna toss this one off. 01:21:21.096 --> 01:21:22.318 Yeah, but what about the song? 01:21:22.758 --> 01:21:22.999 Nice. 01:21:23.599 --> 01:21:26.683 And I was thinking, I'll be finished by 7.30 at the latest. 01:21:26.703 --> 01:21:29.767 I can order myself a nice Indian takeaway and watch Munich. 01:21:29.828 --> 01:21:30.368 Racist. 01:21:30.909 --> 01:21:34.654 We were talking about Munich the other day and I said, I am going to watch Munich. 01:21:35.335 --> 01:21:37.898 But then I wasn't finished until 11.30. 01:21:39.700 --> 01:21:39.860 Yeah. 01:21:39.880 --> 01:21:45.102 By which time I was knackered, I had to go straight to bed, I hadn't had any supps, and I was thinking, I don't know what I've just done. 01:21:46.723 --> 01:21:49.284 Because I went down a few different avenues as well before I started. 01:21:49.304 --> 01:21:49.464 Did you? 01:21:49.484 --> 01:21:50.264 You had some rejects. 01:21:50.504 --> 01:21:52.605 You know, one week we should do a... because I've got a couple of rejects. 01:21:52.625 --> 01:21:52.885 Have you? 01:21:52.905 --> 01:21:53.265 Yeah. 01:21:53.405 --> 01:21:55.286 One day we should have like a... Just little clips. 01:21:55.326 --> 01:21:56.106 That's a good idea. 01:21:56.226 --> 01:21:59.287 We won't broadcast it, but just, you know, just play it to each other. 01:21:59.587 --> 01:22:05.850 Because I really admire your commitment, your vocal commitment in your one, while we're slapping each other on the back. 01:22:05.890 --> 01:22:06.390 Look at my nipples. 01:22:06.850 --> 01:22:12.594 I didn't want to mention them to it, I didn't want to embarrass you, but I certainly do, they're very perky today. 01:22:13.495 --> 01:22:28.084 So anyway folks, you are invited to vote for which song you liked best, please email Adam and Joe, that's A-N-D, not an ampersand, Adam and Joe, no, AdamandJoe.6music at bbc.co.uk. 01:22:29.025 --> 01:22:33.471 Yeah, and you can just send us Adam or Joe, depending on which one you like. 01:22:33.652 --> 01:22:38.418 And a reminder, of course, that Adam's, my one, was about the Loch Ness Monster. 01:22:38.478 --> 01:22:40.281 Joe's song was about Bigfoot. 01:22:40.341 --> 01:22:42.784 Somebody's texted in to say, Bigfoot is disqualified. 01:22:42.864 --> 01:22:44.266 The snare is way out. 01:22:44.807 --> 01:22:49.308 Well, Mr. Anonymous Person, the snare and the drum both came off of a garage band. 01:22:49.428 --> 01:22:50.048 It's not way out. 01:22:50.308 --> 01:22:51.989 It was... I even made a note here. 01:22:52.009 --> 01:22:53.289 I think your ears are way out. 01:22:53.369 --> 01:22:53.729 Exactly. 01:22:53.989 --> 01:22:55.850 I even made a note that it was... It's a tiny bit syncopated. 01:22:55.910 --> 01:22:57.670 It was rhythmically very complex. 01:22:57.730 --> 01:22:58.710 Yeah, thank you very much. 01:22:58.850 --> 01:23:01.391 And I was, you know, I was admiring that. 01:23:01.471 --> 01:23:04.132 Plus the fact that you got the word cryptozoological in the lyrics there. 01:23:04.172 --> 01:23:04.892 That was good too. 01:23:05.312 --> 01:23:06.652 Yeah, I rhymed it with logical. 01:23:07.072 --> 01:23:08.593 Yeah, nice. 01:23:08.713 --> 01:23:08.993 Thanks. 01:23:10.193 --> 01:23:13.034 Well, that's almost the end of our show, folks, but not quite yet. 01:23:13.694 --> 01:23:15.635 But right now, it's time for an exciting trail, is it? 01:23:15.655 --> 01:23:16.695 I love trails. 01:23:16.715 --> 01:23:17.076 Here's one. 01:23:17.096 --> 01:23:17.836 Six music. 01:23:19.176 --> 01:23:19.997 Hello, caller. 01:23:20.877 --> 01:23:21.517 Hello, caller. 01:23:22.077 --> 01:23:25.359 Your call is being recorded for training purposes. 01:23:25.519 --> 01:23:26.619 For quality control. 01:23:26.639 --> 01:23:27.579 For quality control. 01:23:27.779 --> 01:23:29.240 Hey, can I say something quickly? 01:23:29.400 --> 01:23:31.040 I just tell people what that was. 01:23:31.101 --> 01:23:33.861 That was the kills with you are a fever. 01:23:34.322 --> 01:23:34.662 Go ahead. 01:23:34.902 --> 01:23:37.663 Podcast muse, in the next couple of weeks, 01:23:38.704 --> 01:23:45.612 Keep an eye on iTunes because in the next couple of weeks, probably not next week, probably the week after or thereabouts, we can't guarantee anything. 01:23:46.173 --> 01:23:53.661 Our producer works very hard indeed and she's brilliant and she needs a bit of time to do a good job on the old chap. 01:23:55.123 --> 01:23:56.144 and put the podcast in. 01:23:57.245 --> 01:23:58.826 I love your double entendres. 01:24:00.247 --> 01:24:01.428 Anyway, so we should have them. 01:24:01.749 --> 01:24:06.152 Basically, the thrust is we should have a podcast up on iTunes each week within the next couple of weeks. 01:24:06.532 --> 01:24:07.193 If you're interested. 01:24:07.493 --> 01:24:07.673 Yeah. 01:24:07.773 --> 01:24:15.199 And we still are working on the notion that we would do an additional podcast, which would be us, which would be all sort of unbroadcast stuff. 01:24:15.239 --> 01:24:15.780 You know what I mean? 01:24:16.320 --> 01:24:18.042 Slightly kind of more near the knuckle. 01:24:18.302 --> 01:24:20.584 Can you get more near the knuckle than this show? 01:24:21.084 --> 01:24:45.787 Yes, yes, you can quite easily and that's what we would be doing now It's almost the end of the show, but I just like to give you a few little I just like to explode some scientific myths for you Joe Cornish before we go because I you know, I I love explosions and Particularly if they're involved with scientific myths, but a couple of these I hadn't heard before and I was glad to see them exploded Myth one shaving makes your hair grow back faster 01:24:47.328 --> 01:25:07.449 exploded there's no truth to this warning it's true apparently the hairs are thicker at the base therefore giving it the illusion of a more fecund growth right they taper at the end you see exactly this the 14 times do this the whole time do they yeah this is in fact is that the week you're reading from yeah probably culled from the 14 times maybe 01:25:07.629 --> 01:25:11.290 Well, this is apparently called from the BMA, the British Medical Journal. 01:25:11.991 --> 01:25:12.771 Okay. 01:25:12.831 --> 01:25:18.453 Two American scientists scoured medical literature for evidence to back up a number of widely held medical beliefs. 01:25:18.933 --> 01:25:19.994 Give us more, can I have more? 01:25:20.094 --> 01:25:24.935 This is just the conclusions of two American scientists, it should be said, but still, it's nice to have some of these exploded. 01:25:25.196 --> 01:25:34.579 I always worried about the shaving, making your hair grow back faster, because I am an hairy man, and when I was younger, I did not like being her suit at all, and I particularly hated- I don't like it. 01:25:34.699 --> 01:25:59.066 now I hated the hair on my upper arms right like I've got hair on my shoulders not so much on the forearms and I just thought that's grotesque you've got hair on your tongue I've got hair on my tongue I've got hair on my eyeballs it's everywhere yeah hairy eyeballs whereas I am like you like a little boy a naked lady that's not true I do have man hair yeah just enough to keep a woman happy 01:26:02.868 --> 01:26:05.870 Plus, you've got a selection of... You've got a selection of... Because I've gone red. 01:26:05.990 --> 01:26:06.751 I'm getting hot. 01:26:06.911 --> 01:26:07.672 I'm for the collar. 01:26:07.932 --> 01:26:08.512 And the belt. 01:26:10.214 --> 01:26:11.014 Very sexy show. 01:26:11.034 --> 01:26:11.635 Strong dude. 01:26:11.775 --> 01:26:12.495 Very sexy. 01:26:12.615 --> 01:26:14.016 She can't take the man heat in. 01:26:14.036 --> 01:26:21.462 Joe's also got a collection of beautiful merkins that were made for him at great expense. 01:26:21.502 --> 01:26:23.283 So that's myth number one exploded. 01:26:23.523 --> 01:26:28.267 Don't worry about shaving your hair because it's not going to make it any worse if you're worried about it. 01:26:29.427 --> 01:26:31.668 Reading in poor light ruins your eyes. 01:26:31.848 --> 01:26:33.209 Kaboom! 01:26:33.489 --> 01:26:35.429 And that is one that your parents always told you. 01:26:35.810 --> 01:26:38.991 Apparently, according to the experts, it's not the case. 01:26:40.031 --> 01:26:47.234 It says that, yes, you might strain your eyes if the light is very low, but it won't do any permanent damage, no. 01:26:47.614 --> 01:26:48.574 So don't worry about that one. 01:26:48.874 --> 01:26:49.535 Here's another one. 01:26:50.055 --> 01:26:53.176 Nails keep on growing after you're dead. 01:26:53.316 --> 01:26:54.076 Kapow! 01:26:54.456 --> 01:26:54.876 Not true. 01:26:54.896 --> 01:26:55.637 Does it say about hair? 01:26:56.457 --> 01:27:04.702 It doesn't say about hair, but it says that the myth came about because of the fact that dehydrating skin can retract around the cuticles. 01:27:04.762 --> 01:27:06.803 It gives the appearance of increased nail length. 01:27:07.143 --> 01:27:21.051 Also, it may have come from the novel All Quiet on the Western Front, Eric Maria Remarqui's first World War novel, and where the narrator notes that his dead friend's nails are growing in corkscrews. 01:27:21.591 --> 01:27:22.473 What a load of twaddle. 01:27:22.513 --> 01:27:24.476 I never thought that novel was any good, and now I know. 01:27:24.556 --> 01:27:25.237 Yeah, exactly. 01:27:25.297 --> 01:27:29.363 Oh, and here's one more, the last one, which I'm comforted by, because I always hated this one. 01:27:29.844 --> 01:27:31.807 We only use 10% of our brains. 01:27:32.187 --> 01:27:33.249 Well, that's true for you. 01:27:33.689 --> 01:27:34.831 That is true for me, isn't it? 01:27:34.931 --> 01:27:35.212 Damn. 01:27:35.632 --> 01:27:37.293 No, but apparently for everyone else it's not true. 01:27:37.533 --> 01:27:41.336 Pretty much all your brain is being used all the time, so you really can't do without any part of it. 01:27:41.596 --> 01:27:47.540 So all that stuff about there being vast areas of the brain that are locked away unused and we've got all these secret capabilities. 01:27:47.780 --> 01:27:51.163 No, this is as good as we're gonna get as a race, so make the most of it. 01:27:52.043 --> 01:27:52.343 Is that it? 01:27:53.164 --> 01:27:53.664 You tell us. 01:27:54.385 --> 01:27:55.565 Do you have anything else to add? 01:27:55.825 --> 01:27:56.606 No, just music. 01:27:56.806 --> 01:27:59.668 Well, folks, that's it for this show this week. 01:28:00.068 --> 01:28:01.909 And I'm going to leave you with a choice of mind. 01:28:01.929 --> 01:28:03.270 Hang on, wait, Adam, what are you saying to you? 01:28:03.290 --> 01:28:04.871 That we've got one more record, then we're going to come back? 01:28:04.931 --> 01:28:06.332 No, it's fine. 01:28:06.512 --> 01:28:08.553 We'll have to play Talk Talk and Loose Down next week. 01:28:09.053 --> 01:28:12.415 OK, listen, thanks to everybody who texted and emailed this week. 01:28:12.775 --> 01:28:14.356 Keep the emails coming in during the week. 01:28:14.376 --> 01:28:16.017 If you're listening again, please vote for Song Wars. 01:28:16.037 --> 01:28:16.978 It's going to be very close. 01:28:17.698 --> 01:28:18.419 We'll see you next week. 01:28:18.459 --> 01:28:18.779 Bye bye.